#I’ve tried and tried and tried. I just have to keep trying I guess
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I’m so tired of relationships with people feeling so punishingly complicated
#personal#it’s like. idk. intensity of care and preoccupation and trauma and#and and and. I’m constantly trying to get it right and I don’t regret trying at all but#my chest also feels like it’s going to collapse in on itself. it shouldn’t be life or death and it isn’t but#I hate that love still feels this way#like when I used to fight with my mom#and I wanted to die to escape the feeling in my body or to punish myself or both#I just want to let go and relax and enjoy intimacy and not feel like a fuck up all the time#or like I’m on the edge of a cliff and a single wrong move..#I don’t want it to feel like this i want to love people in a different way from the way I loved Mom#I don’t want to need them I don’t want to be terrified of punishment I don’t want to buy their love#I want to have them in my life cause I like them and they like me. I need things to be simpler and lighter and i just#fucking#don’t know how#I’ve tried and tried and tried. I just have to keep trying I guess#I Don’t Know How To Love People In The Right Way#it often feels like I don’t know how to love them at ALL.#just how to need them or be afraid of them or afraid for them. like mother like daughter I fucking guess.
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my fibro meds have truly destroyed my tolerance for antihistamines
#blue chatter#my nose has been v stuffy this week!#I take a Benadryl (already a bad idea) expecting mild spiders and feeling a bit sleepy#and Pass The Fuck Out for 7 hours#okay cool. I’ll do Claritin. it’ll take longer to work but that’s okay-#Pass The Fuck Out For 7 Hours#okay. sure. fine. I’ll take half a Benadryl; it’ll work less effectively but I rly would like to not be so stuffy-#guess what! Pass The Fuck Out For 5 Hours!#which is. teeeeechnically shorter. but still defeats the point#I’m gonna try half a Claritin but those pills are so small already#I know my gabapentin has warnings about anything with drowsiness as a side effect so I tried to do rly low doses#bc it also has those warnings for alcohol and I can drink one drink and feel like. just a tiny bit tired and otherwise fine.#so I thought an antihistamine would be no issue. I was WRONG.#also for context before my fibro meds I was able to take a 24 hour Claritin and be barely even tired#or take 2 Benadryl and feel sleepy and spidery but not actually *fall asleep about it*.#the spiders are unpleasant but Benadryl does work faster for existing stuffiness/allergic reactions. Claritin for me works better as a#preventative measure than a treatment once I’m already sniffly.#by spiders I do mean tactile hallucinations. which funnily enough I have not gotten at all taking Benadryl now.#BECAUSE IM ASLEEP#not awake enough long enough to feel imaginary spiders! which would be an improvement except I cannot keep falling asleep when I’m busy!#this is also why I’ve only been testing this on days I know I won’t have to drive or go to class/have things due that day#bc I suspected the sleepies would be worse even if I did not understand the magnitude#as a side effect I’ve now ruined my sleep schedule enough that my body is used to taking a midday nap and expects it#which is Not Helping
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Again again thinking
#like am I asexual or do i just fear physical intimacy because of my assault#like I have desire I experience arousal#hell I fucking love smut#but whenever I’m with a girl#like going on dates recently and even with my exes#I haven’t actually felt physical attraction to them#and the couple of times I tried to ignore that and make out or have sex#I would freeze up and dissociate#or have a panic attack#or just physically feel nothing when being touched#it’s really confusing#because also the two times I’ve developed actual feelings for someone it’s only been after knowing them for 2+ years#and I’ve been physically attracted to those two people#so like okay I think the biggest most obvious issue here is that I have not been attracted to the people I’ve been intimate with#but I desire physical intimacy so I try to engage in it anyway#and then the ptsd enters the room and complicates things further#and this is why dating is so exhausting#because even people that say they want to take things slow don’t really fully get what I mean#but I also understand not wanting to continue getting to know someone that is not attracted to you when you went into this to#ostensibly form a relationship#what does annoy me is when they respond to my honesty about not being attracted with#‘I’d love to keep getting to know you as a friend’#and then never talk to me again#like come on please just be real with me#I desire intimacy but can’t mentally or physically do casual hookups#and at this point I think I might give up on dating because it’s actually so draining#I think the only way for me to meet a potential partner is to keep making new friends and see what happens#but I don’t have energy to do anything or go anywhere outside of work#so I guess I’ll just be a spinster with a diverse sex toy collection and a Zoloft prescription
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I hope your days aren't as heavy and dark, I am sending all the positive thoughts your way. You deserve the best, fairy princess. <3
😭
#I’ve been getting such sweet asks#I can’t tell you how much they mean to me right now#unfortunately my days have been pretty dark and overwhelming#struggling more than I ever have before tbh#and I’ve struggled most of my life so that’s saying something#also tried to go on TikTok for a little bit and oh BOY that was a bad decision#I might come back sometime soon#it’s just hard when my meds and everything have been making me very sex repulsed 😬#and half of the posts on my feed are very sexy related lol#so I guess that’s probably the main reason I haven’t been on here as much as I used to#also really don’t have the energy to reply or talk to people anymore#(sorry to anyone who has tried to DM me or contact me in any way -#I’ve barely been able to get out of bed so I definitely don’t have the energy to reply to people)#fun fact I went on TikTok finally cause everyone keeps talking about it#somehow ended up on the abortion debate side of TikTok???? so I kept seeing these bullshit debates#the final straw was the other day I saw some dipshit put as their claim ‘prochoice is a mental illness’#don’t even get me started on that it makes me so made I start to shake#I’m sorry but that is so offensive to people who are struggling with real mental illnesses???#went up as a guest (surprisingly) and was trying to explain how ridiculous that statement was and one of the people literally said#‘this is not a safe space’#lol ok byeeeee#obviously not expecting every where to be a safe space but for someone to literally SAY that is wild to me#I always try to keep a safe space no matter who I’m talking to or what about#that still is bothering me so so much#main reason why I’m still on there is cause I love this creator and want to support her as much as possible#but idk how much longer I can be on there… was even thinking about trying to post and make money over there#but ha ha ha guess not#back to square one#I’m running out of space as always but thank you so so so much for the kind words they mean the world to me!! also FAIRY princess???#I’ve never heard that before 🥹🥹🥹 thank you thank you thank you wishing you a lovely day 🫶
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tell me your failed/embarrassing flirting stories to make me feel better, i’ll go first: today i said “get out of my way” forgot to say ��i’m kidding” then immediately said “bye”
#it is awful having feelings for someone you know and have an established friendship with#but crushing on someone i barely know is knew to me and i legit feel like an idiot every time i do something stupid like this#i can’t just. talk to the guy#if i say hey and he says sup i say ‘sup indeed’ like what the fuck is that#i can barely even say hello to him#don’t get me wrong i’ve DONE it but most days i’m like#ah fuck there he is#okay you can do it just say hi#just say what’s up#and then he’s already gone#also. like. the setting we’re in is soooo not good for talking or flirting realt because um. it’s work he’s my coworker.. so um. do i fuckin#ask him for his number?? or to hang out??? but like. he’s kind of a stranger to me what do i want to hang out for 🧍#but like. i dont want to do that until i have at least one successful interaction#or like. an actual conversation.#which is gonna be really hard to manage because he doesn’t talk much at all to anyone and i really only talk if someone talks to me first or#i’ll say something absolutely idiotic and ridiculous (and honestly i do that no matter what)#anyway so um. i guess i’m just gonna keep making a fool of myself until i get it right and hopefully i don’t screw it up 🥴#i lost all my confidence in the last year and i cant do anything chill or smooth anymore (i was never that good in the first place but at#least i could PRETEND i knew what i was doing. like i could sell it. the whole weird and lost bit.)#anyway. i felt better for like 5 minutes when some guy at the gas station flirt failed with me on the way home. but that’s partly my fault#too oops. in his defense he probably could not see that i had headphones on bc upon mirror inspection they were well blended with my hair#but i was waiting to cross the street and this guy tried to like nod and smile and i did not know it was to me until i got to the other side#where the gas station was and and like. tried again and i awkward half smiled and saw his face get all mushy and confused like mine FELT 20#mins before when i’d flopped so hard trying to flirt and by the time i’d processed WAIT i think he was FLIRTING WITH ME i was already gone 🤡#but at least it ended better than the poor 14yo who very confidently asked for my number#who. i shit you not. SCREECHED for a solid 44.5 seconds and bolted the other direction when i said sorry im 21#his friends were standing there like wtf too and one was like i am so sorry about him 🤦#cheers to being fools universe
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long winded rant in the tags coming that’s partly about weight but in a very unfiltered sad way so if that triggers you do Not read on
#on holiday I was like oHHHHH this is what living in the moment is! What listening to your body is! what not worrying about how you look is#but doing what makes you happy#and then …… I came home and got sent the pictures#+ my friend being. unintentionally fatphobic as fuck#while hurtful as fuck too#and it’s all just been piling up too since I got home because I’ve been having a lot of conversations and seeing a lot of people that#confront me with who I used to be and who I am now and how I’m really not happy with that#and it feels like it’s not gonna get better#like I’m destined to be in a job I like but isn’t what I want because I’m not capable enough and I’ll never know what romantic requited love#feels like. I’ll never cure my vaginismus I’ll never be able to let someone in or they won’t want me this is just it for me#and SOMEHOW the way I look has become the ultimate culmination of all those things?#my face is suddenly a woman in her thirties face#I keep gaining weight despite not even eating all that much because FUCKING PCOS makes it impossible#my hair in my face grew back. my stomach is hairy and that plus the added beer belly just makes it look like I’m a 50 year old man#I am soooooooo tired of the dysphoria#and the way pcos ruins fucking everything because I can restrict calories all I want and move all I want but will it help ? No !#and of the fact that it impacts the way I feel about myself so much because I’m convinced now I’ll never find anyone#should have tried harder when I was 21 because that was the only time in my life I reasonably fit society’s standards like That was my shot#I’ve been taking supplements everyone says will help but I’m not sure I noticed anything in the past six months and I can’t take berberine#because it fucks with my heart medication. which. That too. I have that too#and I’m in pain! All the time now! ALL THE TIME so I can’t even work out to keep the weight stable because guess what ?#just after a normal day at the office I come home and have to lie down because everhthing hurts so much !#today I got an impromptu massage in an attempt to feel better but it didn’t fix shit and I had to buy clothes for kings day after#and I didn’t try them on just quickly grabbed some orange shit to try on at home and at what I saw in the mirror I genuinely got nauseous#I just don’t know who that is in the mirror but it’s not me and I can’t accept it. I’ve been trying so hard but I can’t#it genuinely makes me so sad and I keep telling myself that a reduction will help in feeling more like myself and it will help with the pain#but what if it doesn’t? what if my pain doesn’t go away after af all and my stomach just juts out and I feel like a gremlin all the time#what then. what the fuck do we do then. also I’m so fucking scared of that surgery anyway that I don’t fucking want to do it anymore#I want so many things and all of them feel out of reach and I know my own brain is my worst enemy and it’s not rooted in anything real but.#Isn’t it? really — isn’t it???????
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i’m wondering how my other rewrites are going to go because the other quests are much longer than on the hunt. i don’t want to break them into parts because that’s lame and uncentralised things bother me, but i also don’t want it to be. like. 20k words long lmao.
#i’m planning date auction since that’s the next one in my timeline. switched places with the reluctant professor#and i’m wondering. because that’s a long one.#i tried really hard to keep on the hunt under 7k and i was successful but. it’s also one of if not the shortest in this plotline#i guess i’ll have to write it and then see how it turns out#i don’t plan on keeping the rewrites Exactly like the original quests/i’m changing the structure#but still i have a clear idea what i want to do with date auction/the reluctant professor…#for example i plan on completely overhauling the ending of date auction. i’ve always thought that office scene felt out of place there#esp when you take the next quest in account. i like the dialogue there. a little. but it feels weird when you read it and then you read#the dinner party. that ending feels like a resolution to a conflict between mc and hunt. and then like… nothing happens. anyway#i dislike that bar scene too lmao. i really like hunt’s corny line when he’s worried about the mc (and not about himself) but i just. idk.#i don’t like that part! i have thought of something else that maintains the Idea (of hunt Returning) but it’s different#going back to the point: i’m not maintaining the Same Structure. but i’m still worried about length. i don’t want it to be something tiring#to read. these quests are mostly dialogues due to the nature of these games but starting with date auction i plan on expanding on narration#since it’s like. important. to what i’m trying to do. it will make sense.
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I’m at this point in my fandom life where I’m sick of fandom acting entitled to the creators of their canon.
Like. I was in Jeremy’s chat last night, asking a question about hollow knight, and how there isn’t a canon ending, and two people said ‘that’s what the devs said, but the fandom decided long ago’ about how there is no canon ending.
The fandom does not get to decide that??? We didn’t create it??? The creators said there is no canon ending the end, the fandom does not get to decide anything about the canon, they can choose to ignore it yes, but to completely disregard the canon, and say ‘no, WE decided this was canon so it is’ is so stupid.
And I see it everywhere!! I’m tired of it truly.
#it’s the same in the sleep token fandom#there is no lore but here is what we the fandom have made up so you better treat it as canon#no!!!#also in aftg and shit#it’s everywhere. people claim to love something but then the only way they love it is if they change it fundamentally#you don’t like it you like the idea of it#I’m thinking about getting into f1 and hockey if anyone read this far. like the actual watching of the sport#I don’t know what’s come over me I’ve hated sports for years but maybe I just don’t like soccer and football and that’s all my dads tried#to watch in the past (and baseball but I think soccer is more bonding then baseball)#just needed to rant about it I guess#but where to watch what do I need to know ect. I don’t know these things#espns website is complicated too and that’s annoying#I’m also trying to distract myself from the awful freaking weather we’re about to have#again. this is just… it just keeps getting worse and worse and I’d like for the storms to end please
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overstimulated - Matt Sturniolo
summary: where you overstimulate matt to the point where he can’t walk anymore.
contains: smut, sub!matt, overstimulation, slight humiliation, mocking, teasing, use of safe word.
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i don’t even know how matt and i got in this position, but right now i’m sitting on his lap, pinning him down as his erection pokes into my thigh.
“please?” he whispers shakily, his pale cheeks a cherry red.
i trace my fingers along the waistband of his sweatpants, earning a soft whimper from him.
he’s been desperately horny this whole day, constantly clinging to me, but i’ve been too busy.
i slowly rock my hips against the clear bulge on his lap, my clothed cunt rubbing against his sweatpants.
his head tips back, “oh god- don’t do this to me” he sighs
“dont do what?” i grin, reaching my hand down and tracing the outline of his dick through his pants.
“you know- ‘m gonna cum in my pants if you keep doing that” he says barely above a whisper.
“that would be pathetic, wouldn’t it sweetheart?” i say, cupping matt’s jaw and making him look up at me.
he nods, squeezing his eyes shut. i wrap my warm hand around his dick through his pants, squeezing lightly.
“oh my fuck-“ he whines, rutting his hips up into my hands.
he clutches the bedsheets beside him with his veiny hands, trying to resist his movements.
“look at you, all whiny, don’t even have your dick out yet.” i scoff, matt nods frantically,
“-‘m sorry!!” his breathing picks up.
i feel his dick twitch in my hand as i continue to rub the fabric over it, before a loud groan escapes his red lips, raw from being bitten.
and he finishes in his pants.
a large damp patch is obvious right under my hand as matt’s hands cover his embarrassed face.
i let out a small laugh, “poor thing.”
he shakes his head, “i couldn’t help it, i really tried!” he states with a small pout.
“yeah? now your gonna be sensitive for the rest of this.” i say, matt’s eyes widen
“what- more?” he breathes,
“you thought we were done?” i taunt him, pulling my shirt off of my body.
i reach down for his pink shirt, text lays across the fabric saying ‘i need a kiss’.
i tug it off of him, laying it on the matress beside us.
goosebumps travel up his skin from the cold air as he looks up at me with pleading eyes.
i stand up off his lap and tug down my pyjama shorts, leaving me fully revealed for him.
his eyes roam over my body.
“you’re so pretty.” he sighs, clutching the sheets beside him again.
i smile at him before crawling back onto his lap, i look down infront of me, he’s hard again.
i tug down his sweatpants to his thighs, before pausing my movements.
his eyebrows furrow, i just sit comfortably on his lap, waiting for him to start begging.
he fidgets with his short nails as he avoids eye contact,
he’s never usually this submissive, quite the opposite, i guess he’s not used to having to wait.
“please?” he finally speaks up, his voice husky.
“please what.” i reply instantly.
he bucks his hips up slightly, his dick hitting my stomach.
i push his stomach down, placing him back on the bed.
“use your words.” i tell him, staring into his eyes.
he shakes his head, “that’s embarrasing-“ he starts, but i instantly cut him off.
“if it’s so embarrassing then i’ll leave you here, all needy and nobody will be here to get you off, would you like that?”
he shakes his head, “no- no! i just.. ‘just need you!”
“matt that’s not clear enough, tell me exactly what you want from me.” my voice is stern, seeing how far i can push him.
“i want you on- on my dick.” he speaks quietly,
“yeah? then what.” i reply,
“then- then i want you to ride me.” he says, his eyes travelling everywhere but mine.
i run my hand through his hair, “there we go, wasn’t so hard to use your words wasn’t it?”
he nods,
i grab his jaw, “i want you to keep looking at me okay?” my tone is softer now,
i take his length in my hand and pump his cock a few times.
“oh-“ he stammers, maintaining eye contact with me the whole time through his squinted eyes.
his hair sticks to his forehead, and his abs tense.
i run my thumb over his tip, he gasp lightly, gripping the sheets harder.
“you’re doing so well, so good for me.” i praise him, continuing to run my hand up and down his length, squeezing slightly as i go higher up.
“thank- thank you-“ he squeezes out breathlessly.
his legs shake slightly as his orgasm comes on, spurts of white hit his stomach.
his jaw hangs open slightly as he lets out strings of moans.
i don’t waste time to sit up properly, hovering myself above his sensitive tip.
i run his cock through my folds, his eyes spring open. “i can’t! ‘m to sensitive-“ he pleads,
“i know you can do it for me matt,” i whisper with a warm smile.
he shakes his head, his hands find their way to my bare hips, he grips tightly for dear life.
i slowly sink down onto his dick, a strained groan escapes his lips as he digs his finger nails into the plush of my skin.
“i’m gonna cum too soon, that’s- that’s embarrassing” he stammers, squirming slightly on the mattress.
“that’s okay, you’re okay matt” i assure him through sharp breathes as i continue to bounce on his cock.
the sound of skin slapping along with matt’s strangled whimpers fill the room, his eyes are scrunched shut and his brunette locks are messily laid across his flushed face.
my pace picks up, matt sinks his top teeth into his bottom lip in a desperate attempt to silence his pathetic noises.
“so close already? you already came twice tonight.” i scoff, which tips matt over the edge
his legs judder as his back arches off the bed.
he frantically grips the pillows beside him as he finishes, his warm seed coating my insides.
i don’t stop riding him, chasing my own orgasm.
he winces with pained moans, “too much! too much-“ his voice cracks.
i don’t stop, matt knows we have a safe word.
he shifts himself below me, his arms twisting as he tries to squirm under me.
“s-stop- stop i’m too- too sensitive!” he squeezes out.
i shake my head, strings of groans exiting my mouth as i clench around him, signalling my upcoming orgasm.
“red- red” the safe word falls from his mouth, making my heart skip a beat.
i instantly pull off of him, my juices coating his dick, even dripping onto his pelvis.
i look at matt, a few tears roll down his cheeks.
my eyes widen, “hey- hey don’t cry, i’m sorry sweetheart are you okay?” i ask, flopping down ontop of him and wrapping my arms around him.
“no- i’m fine just intense, i-i’m not sad or anything” he says shakily with a small laugh.
“i’m sorry baby.” i say, squeezing his waist tight as i hug him.
“don’t apologise- tha-that was so hot.” he mutters.
i hover above his tear stained face, i reach my hands down and wipe away his tears.
“i promise i’m not crying- just sensitive.” he laughs, i giggle in response before standing up off of him.
i look down at him on the bed,
what a sight.
i clench my thighs together as i look down at him, he’s flopped messily across the matress, his arms and legs sprawled out different directions.
his face is a deep red, and his hair is stuck to his sweaty face. his lips are raw and bright red,
and finally he’s coated in his release, white streaks painted across his tummy and chest.
i just admire him, “jesus fuck- matt you don’t understand what you’re doing to me right now.” i whisper
he smiles in response,
“can- can i please take a polaroid of you?” i ask shyly, “just for me to keep.” i follow up.
he grins with an eyebrow quirk, “finnneee…”
i clap before running over to my closet and pulling out my polaroid camera,
i stand at the edge of the bed, matt gives me a tired smile and thumbs up, i snap the picture.
“thank you-“ i say with a small laugh, he rolls his eyes with a smirk.
“cmon, let’s get you nice and cleaned up.” i say to matt,
he nods with a small hum, followed by a massive yawn,
“you’re so tired sweetheart.” i laugh,
“how could i not beee..” he whines,
“i’m just teasing you.” i smile, grabbing his hand and tugging him up
he stands up on his feet before stumbling over, his legs basically jelly.
he flops backwards onto the bed,
“can you seriously not stand up straight.” i ask with a giggle.
“no- no i can!” he protests, heaving himself back up off the bed, but his shaky legs instantly give out.
i erupt into laughter,
“oh my god!! i’m gonna use that forever! imagine me telling people that i took away matt sturniolos ability to walk”
he covers his face with his hands as he laughs uncontrollably with me,
“you’re so insanely stupid” he giggles,
“tell that to me when you can stand up!!”
-
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jealous!Simon is on my mind 24/7
even better if the two of you are secretly fucking bc he is scared of feelings, commitment, relationships, and blah blah blah…
and simon wasn’t used to feeling jealous. he had trained his emotions out of him long ago, or so he thought. but as he stood in the doorway, watching you stroll across the shared kitchen on the base, your back turned to him, the name "mactavish" boldly displayed on the long-sleeved shirt you wore, something twisted in his chest.
the sight of you wearing his shirt, so casually, stung in a way simon hadn’t expected. he cleared his throat, trying to sound indifferent, but the edge in his voice betrayed him. "that’s johnny’s shirt."
"i know." was the only thing you said, smirking since he couldn't see your face. you knew exactly what you were doing, but in that moment, you didn’t care.
"why is johnny's shirt on you?" simon asked, his voice low but tight with tension. he tried to keep his tone neutral, but the undercurrent of jealousy and frustration was hard to hide. seeing you in johnny’s shirt stirred something uncomfortable deep inside him, a mix of possessiveness and insecurity that he wasn't used to feeling. he hated how something so simple made his chest tighten, how the sight of you in someone else’s name made him feel like he was losing control of the one thing he was afraid to admit he cared about.
"oh, he gave it to me because i was cold," you said, pouting slightly as you turned around to face the only man you ever wanted "he is such a nice guy."
simon managed a slight nod, his mind blanking from the whirlwind of emotions swirling inside him. everything felt too much, too fast. meanwhile, you casually turned your back to him again, giving him another clear view of soap's name stretched across your shoulders as you began making your tea. the tiny grumble that escaped simon’s lips didn’t go unnoticed—it sent a wave of satisfaction through you, a small victory that made your day. you loved torturing him. and, after all, he did deserved it.
frustrated, he walked over to the sink, grabbing a glass of water, hoping it would cool the fire raging inside. but as he turned, his grip slipped, and the water splashed across your front. simon froze, watching the water drip down your shirt, half-shocked and half-relieved for the excuse to make the shirt disappear.
simon froze, his eyes glued to the water dripping down your shirt. after a beat of silence, he muttered, "well, guess you’ll need to take that off now. what a shame."
shocked, you watched as he put the glass down and left the room, still feeling the cold water seeping through the fabric. did he seriously just accidentally splash you and then walk out like nothing happened? that bitch.
*
later, as you slept in your bed, wearing your shirt this time, you stirred slightly at the feeling of someone’s arms wrapping around you. you didn’t even need to open your eyes or turn around—you already knew who it was. that familiar warmth could only belong to simon.
"simon?" you muttered groggily, barely able to make out the shape of him in the dim light. "what are you doing here?"
"shh, just sleep, pretty girl," he whispered softly, his breath warm against your ear. "i just wanted to apologize for how i acted earlier."
"i'm listening," you murmured, your voice barely more than a whisper.
simon’s arms tightened around you as he spoke. “i’m sorry for earlier. i know i’ve been pushin' you away and acting like an idiot. seein' you in johnny’s shirt... it just brought out this jealousy i didn’t want to admit i had. i hate feelin' like i’m not enough, or that someone else might have a piece of you. the truth is, i want you to be only mine. i can’t stand the thought of you being with anyone else. i just wanted you to know that, even if i messed everythin' up.”
“well, isn’t this a surprise? i didn’t realize it took me wearing johnny's shirt for you to admit your feelings.” you said with a hint of a smile, turning around to kiss him softly. simon sighed into the kiss, his arms wrapping around you with a sense of relief and affection.
simon pulled back slightly, his eyes intense as he rested his forehead on yours “i mean it, you know. you’re mine—only mine. no one else gets to touch what’s mine.” his voice was firm, yet tender, which made his words more meaningful.
"did you have a similar conversation with soap?" you asked, raising an eyebrow playfully.
simon grinned, leaning in even closer. “yep, told him to keep his wardrobe to himself unless he wanted a 'property of simon' label slapped on everything he owns.” he sealed his words with a gentle, lingering kiss, his lips tenderly brushing against yours as if to mark his claim in the most intimate way.
*
soap: so, i guess it worked?
y/n: your shirt got wet, but i got what i wanted. thanks, bestie.
soap: i think i got worse treatment from simon than the shirt did, but anything for my two lovebirds.
#simon ghost riley#simon ghost x reader#simon riley x reader#simon riley x you#simon ghost riley x reader#simon ghost riley x you#simon riley imagine#simon ghost riley x female oc#simon ghost x you#simon riley
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𝐢𝐧 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐜𝐡 … you’ve never been eaten out and matt’s never tried…so firsts all around
ᥫ᭡ … you and matt had been hanging out in your room for the past hour. you had just gotten home and he decided to stay over for a bit.
you were watching a show that had a tiny sex scene in it.
“it cannot be that good.” your jaw was dropped as the actress was screaming.
matt laughed at your comment. “that guys ego is definitely high if he’s getting a reaction like that.
“yeah, like she’s practically screaming and shouting. although, who am i to judge. i wouldn’t know.” you shrugged. “but i mean if she’s screaming that loud at being eaten out, imagine how good the sex is.”
unfortunately that comment you made had matt fantasizing about how it would be to eat a girl out and it was odd because he saw you as the girl.
he was fidgeting with his shorts as he felt himself harden at his thoughts. he decided to try to ignore it until you asked him an interesting question.
“had a girl ever screamed like that when you had given her head? i’m curious.” you popped a popcorn in your mouth.
he hesitated. “u-uhh, i’ve never really…” he didn’t finish his sentence. you gulped.
“really?” you asked in shock. “sorry, i just…i’d just thought that you have.”
“no..have you ever..you know..” he didn’t want to say anything else.
“ever…” you were waiting for him to ask.
“been eaten out.” he blurted. his boner making things worse.
“oh! um no i haven’t. i’ve like imagined it but nope, never happened to me.” the movie was the least of both of your worries now that you were both thinking of the same topic.
matt couldn’t help but imagine how you’d be in that situation. someone’s head in between your thighs — preferably his head.
“all quiet now.. have i made things awkward.” you pretended to wince.
“oh, no sorry i was just thinking… i kinda wanna know how to. like how to eat a girl out, it’d be good to have some experience i guess.” he confessed.
“uh huh…” you nodded slowly. “maybe…you can practice? on me.”
his eyes widened at your proposal. “you don’t think it would be a little weird?”
“no, im just gonna tell you what feels good and then we’ll both get what we want! given you make me cum, duh.” you laughed.
keep it cool. you thought.
“are you sure?” matt asked again, not wanting for this to be something you’d regret in the near future.
you nodded and that’s how you got to the position in which you were leaned against the headboard waiting for matt to take your underwear off.
“go ahead.” you reassured him as he toyed with your waistband.
“okay.” he whispered pulling your panties down slowly.
the suspense of the situation had you aroused. you were excited but at the same time nervous. you kept telling yourself, he’s your best friend, it’s okay. he won’t do anything you’re uncomfortable with.
your pussy and matt were face to face. he gulped a little intimated because he wanted to be good at it.
“sooo i just, go right in?” he asked pursing his lips.
“i guess so… maybe idk, foreplay? or wait is this considered foreplay?” you asked confused.
“i don’t- im not sure.” he said, unable to tear his eyes away from your center.
“okay, so maybe like use your fingers first?” you knew it was seconds away from being awkward.
as you were about to just say forget it you felt matt’s finger ghost over your leaky hole. he gathered some of your arousal and lathered it over your clit. he then continued to stimulate your clit. your legs bucked up at the sensation.
“am i doing okay?” he whispered, the only thing illuminating his face was the sunset lamp in the corner of your room.
“y-yeah.” you moaned slightly, as he continued to stimulate you. you looked down at him, his fluffy hair and his beautiful eyes. the sight alone had you wanting to just-
your thoughts couldn’t even complete because you felt matt’s hot tongue on you. you let out a deep breath as you leaned back and closed your eyes at the pleasure.
his tongue flicked over your clit as he looked up at you for reassurance that he was making you feel good. while matt was taking his time, his thoughts were elsewhere enjoying the way you tasted. in seconds he was devouring you, addicted to the way you tasted.
he licked a long stripe over your center pulling your thighs toward him. he sucked on your puffy clit. “r-right there. fuck—” your eyes tightly shut.
“you taste so fucking good…” matt muttered against you. he was consuming you. it was as if he lost all control in himself. he couldn’t get enough. “tell me how good i’m doing.”
you nodded quickly. “you’re doing s-so good.” you threaded your hands through his brunette hair. yes you had fantasized about this situation — not with matt specifically but this situation for sure.
matt’s ego boosted as a spurt of whimpers escaped you as he entered his middle finger in you. he pumped it in and out whilst continuing his previous work on your clit. he had been doing so good, you were on the verge of cumming.
matt could tell too — by the way your thighs were starting to close around his head and shake. he didn’t know how he had lived without the taste of you on his tongue. he didn’t ever want to stop. he wanted to do this everyday of his life.
you tried to blurt out the words but you struggled; sensitive to how fast he was flicking your clit. he looked up to see your struggle and grinned against you.
“go on, cum on my tongue. i wanna taste it.” he begged. matt needed to taste you. he enjoyed seeing you writhing underneath him. the way you were struggling to grapple onto reality.
you nodded finally feeling your body seize up as your orgasm washed over you like a big wave. you were tugging on matt’s hair trying to get him away from your sensitive pussy but your orgasm made him want to push you further.
you had begun to feel so sensitive you tried to push his head away as much as you could while whining. “f-fuck — sensitive matt.” you begged and he finally pulled away.
your chest was heaving up and down. you had started to slow your breathing and opened your eyes. matt with your shiny substance drooled and covering his mouth and chin. he had a smug grin on his face symbolizing he was definitely pleased with himself.
“please tell me you’ll let me do that again.” he licked his lips.
you took another deep breath and combed through his hair with your hand. “how could i not?”
© slxtarchive
#𖦹°‧★ 𝑺𝑳𝑿𝑻𝑨𝑹𝑪𝑯𝑰𝑽𝑬#𝑴𝑨𝑻𝑻 𝑺𝑻𝑼𝑹𝑵𝑰𝑶𝑳𝑶 ᝰ.ᐟ#matt sturniolo fanfic#matt sturniolo angst#matthew sturniolo imagine#matt sturniolo x y/n#matt sturniolo x you#matt sturniolo imagine#matt sturniolo smut#matt sturniolo x reader#matthew sturniolo#matt sturniolo#matthew sturniolo angst#matthew sturniolo au
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further continuation of pitfighter!vi | part 1 | part 2
sypnosis. vi left an impression on you more then you thought she did. but, you left even more of an impression on her. and you can’t control a feeling like that, can you?
warnings. dom!vi, lowkey hate sex, use of a strap on, lots o angst !! (in the beginning), uhh i tweaked the timeline a lot so this doesn’t exactly follow everything going on. bear w me!
damn.
you were surprised vi stayed true to her word. it was two months since she initially left. you tried to move on with your life, forget her, and try to remember that she was with that someone that she mentioned.
if she stayed, that means she’s happy. right?
right?
stupid feelings. truth was, you wanted her to come back. she wasn’t just any other client to you at this point.
god, how did you get yourself into this mess? you vowed to not get involved with a client. yet, here you were.
“you seem distracted.” your friend, and co-worker says while she combs through your hair. you’d gotten close to her over the past two months, her being your only viable source of comfort in the moment.
you frown as you look into the mirror.
“it’s nothing.” you shake your hand, glancing down to your hands.
“are you sure?” asta cocked a brow as she placed the comb down. “come on. you’re acting so weird lately.”
you run your thumb over the indents of your palm, following your fingers.
“well..” you start, “i.. there was a client. around two months ago. she was..” you snort, “different, that’s for sure.”
“.. okay..” asta looks into space as she thought.
“she told me she wasn’t coming back— that she couldn’t. her heart was taken by this enforcer girl. said she couldn’t give her up.”
asta is quiet for a second. you turn to look at her. “.. so, what i’m getting from this, is you’re getting your heart involved in a client you took twice.”
“what?” your back straightens. “no! no, my heart isn’t involved, i’m just.. curious. that’s all.”
“uh-huh, okay.” asta snorts with a roll of her eye. “who is this, anyway?”
“oh, uh.. her name is vi.”
asta’s eyes widen so far her eyebrows shoot up. “the fucking vi? as in the vi everyone here hates?”
“i guess so.” you frown.
“hah! no way you’re falling for that little sadistic fuck.”
“asta!” i cry.
“i mean, seriously, y/n! she’s no good, especially for you.”
“i’m a whore in the undercity. i’m not exactly amazing.”
“still, though. i can’t believe you wound up having to take her as a client twice, i mean, are you alright after that?”
you glare. then, you smile at the memory. “actually..” you feel a blush creep on your cheeks. “you’d be surprised. it’s not just her that got to take control.”
“you.. vi? being submissive? oh, you’re crazy.”
“crazy good.” you snort, pushing off your chair. “besides, i’m not falling for her.”
“yeah. sure you aren’t.”
“i mean, i can’t, anyways. i’ve already made that mistake before and i’m not about to make it again. my heart is never being involved with my clients ever again.”
asta takes a second to respond. then, she says, “you know, sometimes it isn’t all that bad.” she shrugs. “i met my husband through this business.”
“it does more harm then good. plus, aren’t you two having problems because of the job that you met in?”
“well.. kind of. but still.” she places a hand on my shoulder, “not everything in your life has to be dictated because of what you do as a job to survive. it’s rare you feel a connection with your clients, right? especially you.”
“i don’t have a connection with her.”
“you keep telling yourself that.” asta chuckles, “that’s what i said about my husband before he started courting me.”
“whatever!” i cry, pushing her hand off me. “i have a client.”
“don’t go imaging it’s vi!”
“ugh, shut up asta!”
a week later, you’d made up your mind. obviously, vi wasn’t going to come back. it’d be best for you to just move on.
your hands tighten around eachother.
so damn stupid. you were so damn stupid. your feelings were so damn stupid— she went to you out of convenience, nothing more.
she was under the influence, on a sex drug nonetheless. you went too far with her. you never should have given in to her pleads in the first place.
“come on, slow-poke.”
you still.
“slow-poke is a bit cocky for you to say. i recall you saying i was moving too fast, when i tried to—“
“okay, are we seriously talking about that right now?”
you’d recognize that voice anywhere. it was haunting your thoughts for the past two months.
and you don’t dare lift your head. you feel your breath pick up as you glance forward.
your breath catches in your throat as your eyes land on her. on vi. what the hell was she doing here?
without another thought, you flick your hood over your head. your body curls in on yourself, staring at your feet as you walk forward, moving past her.
“you used to be all over me,” a posh, matter-of-fact voice says. “now, you can barely even look at me.”
“we’re on a mission, caitlyn. we’re not talking about our relationship right now.”
her voice becomes louder as you grow near.
“when will we?”
“soon! just.. just not now.” vi grumbled.
you try to ignore the warmth in your skin as you knock shoulders with her as you pass.
“hey! watch where you’re going—“
vi stops herself as you glance over your shoulder.
you watch as her eyes flicker, the redness seeping into her skin as she flushed.
“wha.. y/n?” she says in almost a whisper.
your eyes glide toward the girl beside her. a pretty woman, with sharp features and rich, navy hair, tied into a ponytail. she held herself so well.
no wonder vi was so enveloped in her.
vi feels like her heart is about to burst out of her chest. she glances toward caitlyn, who gives you a weird look as you stare at her.
what. the. fuck.
that’s all vi can think.
her eyes flicker between you and caitlyn.
vi watched as you slip the hood off your head. you bring your head up with an inhale, forcing a strong front.
“.. hey, vi. funny seeing you here.” you say in that soft tone that’s been haunting her thoughts and her dreams for months since you’ve been apart.
“you know this girl?” caitlyn says as she stares at you. you glance toward caitlyn, brows furrowing. she stared at you like you were filth— and you probably were, body being tainted by the hundreds of hands that have touched the most vulnerable of all— your body.
vi swallows. “yea.. yes, um—“ she closes her eyes, pinching the bridge of her nose. “old friend.”
old friend? really?
you glare at her.
“can i, um.. can i have a second to talk to her? alone?”
vi’s hand rests on caitlyns shoulder. her skin looked so soft— so clean.
you try to ignore the flame of jealousy in your chest as caitlyn’s hand rests atop of vi’s, before nodding her head once.
“don’t take long.” caitlyn lets her hands drop to her sides. vi gives a small nod, shoulders relaxing as caitlyn steps back, moving out of earshot.
and then she turns to you.
“i thought you said you were never coming back.” you frown as your arms cross on your chest.
“this isn’t me coming back.” vi says curtly. “we’re on a mission.”
“a mission? are you some sort of enforcer now?”
vi says nothing.
you freeze.
“you.. you’re an enforcer.”
“temporarily.” vi raises a hand, “it’s not anything to do with—“
“just go.” you spit. “an enforcer from zaun. it’s not an honour to be labelled that, violet. you’re a pawn in whatever plan they’ve conjured up.”
“it’s a plan to help zaun.” vi says in a whisper as she glances at someone passing. she winced. “can we talk about this elsewhere? preferably not in an open alleyway?”
your eyes shift to the caitlyn girl she treasures so much. she’s staring at the two of you.
“or we could just not talk.” you push off the wall you’d been resting on, “continue on with your mission. you have no use of me, by the looks of it.”
“actually, i do. someone we’re looking for passed through babettes brothel, and we need a—“
“i’m not helping you with this.” you shake your head. “find another worker there to interrogate.”
“y/n.” vi says firmly.
“stop saying my name like that.” you narrow your eyes. “just because you were my client doesn’t entitle me to help you with your stupid investigation. you were a client to many there— ask them.”
“i was more then just a client and you know it.”
her face tightens with anger.
“not really,” you tut your tongue, “you paid, and i gave. nothing more.”
“you can’t be serious.” her hand finds your arm, and she leans closer, glancing around. “you took my virginity. that’s not nothing.”
“you were hardly a virgin when we first met.”
“yeah, not in.. that sense, i wasn’t.”
you hated that she was right. virginity was a prized thing for most people— hell, you used to hold principles like saving your virginity for marriage. and now, look where you were.
but, much like other people, you never forgot your first. a boy from piltover— you were young and naive, much like violet.
“i should have never done that.” you shake your head, “that was too far of me.”
vi’s eyes soften. she glances back at caitlyn, before looking to you. she steers you away, moving out of eyeshot.
“it’s not that i.. regret it. if that makes any difference.”
you huff.
“you said you weren’t coming back. yet, here you are.” you gesture.
“for a different reason.” she tightens her grip on my arm, “come on. help me with this investigation and i’ll leave you alone. for good.”
but that isn’t what you wanted. you didn’t want her to leave— you didn’t want her to be her right now, with her new prized girlfriend, but she was still here. you hated how your heart jumped with glee at that fact.
you inhale a deep breath, clenching your jaw.
“fine. i’ll help you.”
vi exhaled in relief. “thank you.” she whispers. her hand loosens on your shoulder, before slowly slipping off, her fingers trailing over your skin.
“what’s the big deal, anyways?” you furrow my brows.
“cait will tell you everything.” she cocks her head behind her. you nod your head, and follow her as you walk back to caitlyn. it hit you that she was tall, and it made her even more menacing— towering over you with a mean look on her face. you couldn’t tell if that was just her face, or she just didn’t like you. probably both.
“so she’ll help, then?” caitlyn says, turning to vi.
vi nods. “yeah.”
“i can’t promise i’ll actually be of help to you.” you cross my arms on your chest. “just because i agreed to tell you what i know doesn’t mean it’ll be any use.”
“worth a shot, right?” vi shrugs. i give her a brief nod.
“we can’t talk about this here.” caitlyn says.
you sigh. “we can go back to my house. it’s just ‘round the block. but again— i only have an hour.”
they give a nod of agreement. you inhale a deep breath, before paving a way back toward your house.
suddenly, you felt unconscious about your living space. you hadn’t cleaned it, and there was no doubt clothes left on the floor, leaving it a mess. you mentally curse yourself as you unlock the door, pushing it open.
“make yourselves comfortable.” you mumble, kicking some clothes out the way.
vi doesn’t take another glance at the house as she walks inside, following behind you. caitlyn hesitates, looking around the messy room, before following suit.
i grab a glass of water, jumping up onto my counter.
“alright. so, what did you need me for, exactly?” i look to caitlyn.
caitlyn slowly turns her head toward you. “oh— yes, um..” she clears her throat, obviously distracted. “a few days ago, someone passed through the brothel you work at.”
she fumbles through her bag. your eyes glance toward vi, who leans against the counter parallel to you, crossing her arms on her chest. the blue outfit just looked so.. off on her, yet, she still held herself the same.
she didn’t seem that bothered by the mess— partly because she’s seen it before, and partly because she’d already been in your house, in your bed—
stop it.
caitlyn places a sheet of paper on the island. i pick it up.
“have you seen this girl?”
your eyes move around the paper. you had seen this girl before— quite an oddball, but she was funny. blue hair, tied into long braids. your eyes train on the JINX — PILTOVER, WANTED.
“uh.. yeah.” you nod. you’d never expect her to be a wanted criminal, but who wasn’t down in the lanes?
“how? where did you see her last?” caitlyn says. there’s a gleam in her eyes as she leans closer.
“well.. maybe two or three days ago she came around the brothel during my shift. she was a client.”
vi pushes off the table abruptly. “you took my sister as a client?!” she stalks toward you.
“well, yeah.” you shrug. your eyes widen as you realize. “we.. no, she didn’t want anything.” uou chuckle at the memory, “she just wanted to talk.”
vi seems to calm down, her shoulders slouching. you give her a brief look, before turning to caitlyn.
“she.. i don’t know why she came to a brothel to just have a chat, but she isn’t the first one to do that. it’s honestly not that weird for clients to just want to talk like normal people when they have no one else.”
“i didn’t give it that much thought. i don’t remember much about her.”
you glare at vi. “not that it’d be any of your business what happens with my clients.”
vi puffs a breath of air through her nose, ripping her gaze away from you. she didn’t understand why she was so.. so jealous, so riled up over the memory that you still worked at the brothel, that you still took clients, that other people were touching you.
she had no right to be possessive, yet, here she was.
“.. anyway.” caitlyn clears her throat, brows furrowing as she senses the tension between you and vi, “what can you tell me about her? did she say anything about where she was going?”
you shake your head. “we talked for the hour she paid for, then she left. that was it. i didn’t see where she went.”
caitlyn sighs in frustration. vi looks to her, “this was a big waste of time.”
“it was the only lead we had.” caitlyn pushes off the wall. “if we ask some of the other workers, they’ll probably have seen the direction she went.”
“at this point we’ll miss the last departure. it’s too long of a walk back to piltover if we want to be safe.”
“we can’t leave while the trail is hot! if we wait another day, it’s just another night wasted.”
you h ump off the counter. “just stay here.” you place your glass in the sink, “i have a guest bedroom.”
that was a horrible idea.
it was like your mouth was on autopilot as you say this— stuck on the fact that if vi left now, you’d never see her again. it was stupid if you to offer, yet, you couldn’t stop yourself from doing it.
caitlyn glances toward you. then to vi. she raises her eyebrows as if to say, “well?”
oh, and vi was even more stuck. seeing you again drove her crazy— much less sleeping in the same house again. no doubt it’d grab at her head, keeping her awake at the last memory in this very house.
her chest puffed as she tried to regulate her breath. she wasn’t sure if she could handle herself in such close proximity to you again. it’d surely drive her mad.
but, she too was stuck on the fact that this might be the last time she saw you.
so, vi nods. “sure.” she chokes. her voice is tight as she avoids her eyes, glancing down at her feet.
you huff at the memory of your shift.
“the guest bedroom is just down the hall. make yourselves comfortable.” you move past them, shoulder grazing with vi’s— on purpose, on accident, you couldn’t tell. “i’ll be back soon.”
you still as you see caitlyn move out of the kitchen, glancing around. once she was out of earshot, you back up a few steps.
“oh, and, vi?” you lean closer to her, moving to her ear. “try to control yourself. i can sense your tension from a mile away.” you rest your hand on vi’s shoulder. “if you want me to take care of that.. another time, yeah?”
you pull away without another word, giggling under your breath. you pat vi’s shoulder as you slip away, grabbing your coat and bringing it around your shoulders.
and as you close the door, you leave vi’s head in utter shambles again.
she stands in the same spot, mind processing your words.
try to control herself? after you’ve just said that, and you’re looking like the most beautiful women she’s laid her eyes on?
fat chance.
she’ll get you eventually.
you were released early from your shift, as the night was slow. you kind of dreaded getting back to your apartment, knowing both vi and caitlyn were there.
you wanted to help them. honestly. but you werent sure what would.
your mind recalled the memory of that jinx girl.
you remembered you tried to advance on her— assuming that’s what she wanted, like many other clients. but she stopped you.
she surely wasn’t well. rambling on about life and death, about family, and about how no one can be trusted, and all that.
and after that, she disappeared as soon as she payed. you turned to say goodbye, but she was already gone.
you huff as you open your apartment door, slipping your coat off your shoulders. you hear laughing from your living room, and walk toward it.
as you turn the corner, you see caitlyn and vi laughing together.
“vi, i’m serious!”
you linger in the background as you watch them.
“i mean, the look on my fathers face. he couldn’t believe it at first.”
“well, you won’t be able to get rid of me, anyway.”
your face tightens as you watch her place her head on caitlyns shoulder. she spins a pen in her hand.
“i’m the dirt under your nails, cupcake.”
you decide to leave it alone there.
you step back, running a hand over your neck. so she was happy. you grimace as you walk down the hall, entering your bathroom.
“stupid.” you’d whisper to yourself.
here you thought you had vi wrapped around your finger. but really, you were wrapped around hers.
asta was right, anyway. she was no good for you, and you were no good for her. she was right in the fact that your heart was involved. it was involved tenfold.
you were stupid to ever think that you and vi had a chance.
you were a whore from the undercity. she’s an enforcer now.
nonetheless, she was still from the undercity. she was still a zaunite, just like you.
you strip yourself of your clothes. you step into your steaming shower, and let the water run over your body, your hair.
you close your eyes as you try to drown out your thoughts.
it wasn’t until midnight you left your bathroom.
the house was quiet. you deemed that they had gone to sleep, and move toward your room.
you throw on one of your favourite sets— a gift from a reoccurring piltover client from when you used to work there. you loved the silk texture, the white pearly fabric.
and since you hadn’t eaten much today, you move toward your kitchen.
you huff as you walk down the hallway, quiet against the hardwood floor. you grab your glass from the sink, turning on the tap.
“y/n.” a voice says behind you. you jump, spinning around.
“oh. it’s just you.” you sigh in relief as your eyes land on the familiar black of her hair. vi sauntered toward you, leaning against the counter.
“i.. i had a question.” vi whispers. her voice is laced with sleep— she had stayed up to talk to you. alone, finally.
you stare at your hands as you pour the water down the sink, picking up a bag of pretzels. “and what’s that?”
vi bit her tongue. then, she spoke. “what did you mean, before?”
you furrow your brows.
“when you said.. if you want me to take care of that.” vi shuffles. “you said, another time.”
you still. youd forgotten youd said that— mostly to test the waters around her.
“what did you think i meant?” you hum, placing a pretzel on your tongue. you lean your hip against the counter parallel to her.
vi says nothing.
“look— if you’re gonna act clueless, whatever.” you scoff. “but don’t rope me into something that’ll just cause a mess.”
you turn away from her.
as you move, your stopped by a hand on your wrist. she yanks you backward, your back landing harshly on her chest.
you gasp.
“i don’t really care if it causes a mess.”
you feel her breath on your shoulder. her hand smooths over your hip, pulling you against her.
“you’ve been messing with me ever since we bumped into eachother in that alleyway.”
you stare harshly at the wall in front of you. her thumb dips into the fabric of your shorts, resting it there.
“and you show up in these little shorts and expect me to contain myself?”
you feel her lips against your ear.
“what’s with the sudden switch up?” you say breathily, head leaning against her shoulder.
“you know what you’re doing.” violet scoffs against your ear. you feel your skin blaze alight as she presses her lips to your neck. you feel her tongue glide across your skin.
“violet.” you say harshly. you’re not sure how you feel about the sudden change in the air— vi wasn’t the girl she was last time she was here, no, she was how she was in the brothel the first night you met.
this girl really did give you whiplash.
“this is wrong.” you say, hand placing over the hand on your hip. despite your words, you lean into her touch. “aren’t you with caitlyn?”
vi stills for a second at caitlyn’s name. “one more night can’t hurt.”
“that’s what i thought the last time we met.” you hum, leaning into her touch. “one more night.”
vi spun you around, stalking forward, pushing you back until your back hit the counter. her arms caged around you, her eyes so dark, so unrecognizable.
all night, vi had been thinking about how you’re working your shift, having other people touch you. all night, she thought about you.
all she wanted right now was to distinguish herself from the others— to prove to you that unlike all the others, she cared. she cared for your pleasure, she cared for you, despite her mind screaming at her that she shouldn’t.
another wave of jealousy washes over her. she leans closer, hands gliding over your stomach, pushing up the silk shirt.
“you remember how you said to stop thinking so much around you?” vi says with a smirk, nose touching eachothers, her lips parted. you feel her breath on your skin, her hands on your stomach. they truly did feel warm, so calming, so right, unlike the others who have touched you there. you didn’t feel violated under vi’s touch, you felt.. comforted. it gave you a chance to actually feel the pleasure of another persons hand, rather then focusing on giving pleasure.
her hand splays against your back. her lips were so close to yours, merely one movement away. you wanted nothing more then to feel them again.
“that’s what i’m doing.” vi says, voice husky. “cmon.” she gives a toothy smile. “don’t leave me hanging here, cupcake.”
and it’s like everything changed.
your face closes to a deadpan. you push her off, slamming your fists on her chest.
“wha..” vi gives you a look of confusion.
“you’re so.. arrogant!” you lower your voice as you remember caitlyn is still there— the same caitlyn that vi had said that same nickname too a mere few hours ago. “and stupid!”
“what the hell are you talking about?” vi’s brows furrow.
“that nickname.” you spit. “you’d dare to call me that after using it on caitlyn?”
her mind recalls the memory.
i’m the dirt under your nails, cupcake.
her eyes widen. truth was, she was thinking about you when she said that. she said it because she’s your dirt underneath your nails. she came, and now she’s never going to leave, like a thorn in your side.
“really?” vi deadpans. “that’s what you’re worked up about?”
you purse your lips.
she lets out a chuckle that only fuels your anger. she takes a step toward you, before lowering her voice.
“i knew you were listening.” vi explained, “i was saying that to you.”
you still.
“though, this jealous side of you is kind of cute.”
“shut up.”
“just saying. now, can you stop throwing a fit? kind of holding myself back here.”
“ugh, shut up!” you cry before you grab her face, crashing your lips against hers. vi stilled for a second, taken aback, but she feels a rush of passion flow through her body.
her hands are on you in an instant— clawing, grabbing at your clothes so roughly. her lips are just as you remembered; soft. yet this time, they held a sense of dominance unlike the last time you kissed her.
she hummed against you. and you feel so much.. anger, hatred, jealousy, desire. vi was enjoying this way too much, and you hated that.
you feel her hands on your hips once more, her tongue gliding against your bottom lip, as if asking for permission. you give it by pushing your tongue past her lips, her own finding yours as they tangle and dance for a sense of dominance— to see which way will overtake.
but vi leaves no room for argument. her fingers dig into the skin on your thighs. you squeal as your brought from the floor, her hands holding you up as she picks you up.
your legs dangle loosely around her torso, hand smoothing into her hair, pulling, tugging, holding on so she’s forced to never leave.
you didn’t really know where you were going, but now, you were moving. her tongue glided through your mouth, running along your teeth, your tongue, your gums, everywhere, forcing herself through every part of your mouth until there was nothing left.
and oh, did you miss this feeling.
this feeling of passion, of lust, of desire. this feeling of recklessness. you both know you shouldn’t be doing this— but who can stop desire?
you realize she had guided you to your room when you feel your back hit the fur of your bedspread. she pressed herself between your legs, pulling away from you.
“fuck..” she whispered under her breath, hands smoothing up your stomach, cupping your barely clothed breasts.
“don’t talk.” you loose out, grabbing her face again and pulling her lips back onto yours. she takes that as an understanding, fingers unhooking every button oh so slowly.
you lift yourself off the bed to tear the shirt off your shoulders, throwing it to the side.
vi’s eyes flicker as she pulls away, looking at your body. her eyes land on your budding breasts. just so fucking beautiful. every bit and piece of you was perfect in violets eyes, and she hated how she felt that way.
“i missed you.” she whispers, both forgetting and ignoring your demand of silence. she pulls away, taking her jacket off of her shoulders. clothes fly in a haste, leaving you both naked in mere minutes— well, you naked. she kept her bandages on.
you can’t help the next thing you say. “missed me or missed my body?” you huff, sitting up on your elbows.
vi’s brows furrow. her nose twitches, before she crashed her lips back against yours without a word.
ah. got it. you’d think.
whatever. you shouldn’t have expected much with a hookup.
truth was, vi didn’t know. she didn’t know if her actions were based off purely lust, or something else. she tried not to think about it much— she couldn’t think much, anyways. you were just so soft, so beautiful.
her hands smooth over your body, and you were so drunk on her touch you decided not to care about anything else. her hands, touching you, possessing every part of you.
vi’s lips leave yours, trailing kisses down your jaw, onto your neck. you relish in the feel of her tongue, of her teeth scraping against your skin. her hands, smoothing over your thigh, toying with the strand of your panties. you feel your mouth go agape as her tongue glides over your neck, leaving red splotches, marking you.
you gasp as you feel her hands quiver over your clothed core, pressing so gently it made you whine. she was toying you, being so gentle when she knew you wanted her to be rough.
“don’t think i’ve forgotten.”
you couldn’t process her words— not when her fingers slipped underneath the cloth and dipped into your slick. your head throws back, a jolt of pleasure ripping all throughout your body. a shock to your nerves— finally, a touch that was pleasurable.
“oh, you’ve forgotten, haven’t you?”
your brows furrowed. what the hell was she talking about?
you let your mind fog again when her fingers dip inside of you, pressing so deep. you gasp, feeling your skin grow ablaze, the ache in your stomach only growing. you grasp onto the bedsheets, shocked at how fast this was moving— ten minutes ago, you were accepting the loss of whatever this relationship was. now you were thinking, what the fuck is wrong with me?
“you’re gonna feel everything i felt that night.”
she says this so close to your ear. you feel her breath on the shell of your ear, her teeth nipping at your skin.
“though, you won’t be under a drug like i was. i’ll just have to make up for that.”
her fingers press up as if to further move her point. you let your eyes close, body leaning toward her, hips pressing against her wrist.
“where do you keep those things, hm?”
“what the fuck are you talking about?” you huff, eyes slowly opening to look at her.
“you know,” she leaned closer. oh god, her eyes. that smirk. you were done for.
your brows furrow as you thought. her fingers slipped out of you, causing you to frown at the loss of her touch.
she ran a hand through her hair as she looked around, before reaching over you to open a drawer. your eyes catch on the glimpse of her bicep, a glimpse of the tattoo that ran down her back. gods, it only turned you on further.
“ah.” she says. you’d hear her fumble with something before moving back to you.
and your eyes shift to the thing in her hand.
one of the strap ons you owned— and never used, just by the sheer size of it. black, girthy, and big.
“nonono, violet—“you back away from her. she could not use that one, not now.
“oh, yes.”
there’s a certain gleam in her eyes as her hand grabs your hip, pulling you closer to you.
“told you.” she says as she leans back, fumbling with the straps. “i’m gonna get you back.”
you were in for it now.
for someone who’d never used a strap on before, you were pleasantly shocked.
you’d moan into your pillow as her hips slam against yours, over and over and over again. her hand smoothed over your back, pressing it down so your hips pushed up.
you’d never felt this.. this good, this full.
your entire body shook, every bone weak and practically useless. it took everything in you to hold yourself up, to not pull away from her, from her hips.
“oh—“ you groan, “vi!” you’d lost yourself, suddenly not caring about your voice. once vi realized that, she dragged her hand under to your chest, pulling you flush against her.
her hand moved over your mouth, silencing your cries.
at the new angle, she only pushed deeper.
your eyes widen, every nerve, every muscle twitching and shaking with pleasure. you couldn’t handle it, you simply couldn’t.
“not so tough now, huh?” she huffed, her voice out of breath and tight. you feel her being her hips back, just barely, before pushing back into you with such force you felt tears well into your eyes.
how could one woman have this much stamina?
you’d lost count at the amount of climax’s she’s brought you to.
she abruptly pulled out of you, flipping you over, pressing your back against the bed. it was like your body was drained of any sort of will— her strength easily able to manhandle you in every way she could, every position she wanted you in.
she placed herself back inbetween your legs. you saw that smirk on her face, so cocky and confident.
you couldn’t form words to comment something about it.
she brushed her hand over her forehead, inhaling a deep breath of air.
“i kind of like this.” she said breathily as she lowered her hand, aligning the tip of the silicone cock to your hole. as you feel her push back inside you, you let out a damned scream.
she’s quick to cover it, lips pressing against yours to silence your cries.
your legs touched either side of the bed, her hands pinning them down. your hips ached at the stretch— your core ached at the raw stretch the strap-on gave you, and as she pressed further deep inside of you, you swore you saw stars.
“god, oh, i— fuck!” you cry against her lips, hands gripping so hard on her back, nails digging into her skin, leaving crescent marks on her shoulders.
“shh, shh..” she hushed, hand smoothing across your thigh as a sense of comfort, yet, it only riled you up more.
she was so deep, so insanely deep— somewhere surely no one’s ever touched before.
“wouldn’t want anyone to hear you, would you?” she’d taunt, “see you in this position..”
her hips pull back, before bullying her way back into you, at such a slowed, tedious pace— to mess with you, no doubt.
you didn’t care. you didn’t care for anything— you couldn’t, not after this. you were sure you’d never felt anything like it— it was even better then the first night at the brothel.
“i— i can’t—“ you’d cry, head pushing into the pillow to hide your face. you just.. felt so fulfilled.
“oh yes, you can.” she mumbles, eyes flickering over every expression you’d made, engraving it in her mind.
her hips were flush against yours, filling you to the brim. her body pressed against your chest, her hands moving to grip onto the pillow on either side of your head.
“oh, fuck.” she said so softly, wincing as she felt the pressure against her own clit. then, her hips pulled back, and slammed right back into you. she found out, in this new position, it also gave her pleasure.
with how sensitive she was, even the short amount of pressure could help the ache between her legs.
a gleam found her eyes.
her pace became faster, harder, like a damned piston jolting inside of you.
you bite hard into your lip, hands falling limp and falling on either side of you.
“a little longer, princess..” she huffed into your ear. “come on, you can take it.”
“no, i—!” you cry, legs clamping around her torso. “mmmph—“
“just..” she let out a sharp exhale, adjusting her hips so the base hit her clit just right. she moaned into your ear, eyes rolling back, and the sight was just so damn beautiful.
you feel the cord in your stomach grow hot, your body shaking with every thrust she made.
at this rate, you weren’t sure how much you could handle— it was too much vi, so much vi, you were going to go mad. vi, vi, vi.
“oh, vivivi—“ you whined, your body riling itself up, again and again, over and over, each thrust bringing you closer to the familiar taste of an orgasm.
you were scared. scared of the feeling, of the pure pleasure that coursed through your body each and every time. scared of that feeling, of that blinding— oh, god!
your eyes shut closed, your legs clamped around her as that familiar snap of your orgasm flooded through you.
“say my name.”
“v..” you attempted. and then, you deflate against the matress. “vio..”
“come on, you can do it.”
her hips were relentless, forcing you through your orgasm. your body aches with overstimulation, threatening to burst with each and every second.
“say my name.” she says it more directly, nearly damn demanding you to. her voice is a growl against your ear, her hips picking up in pace.
“oh, violet!” you cry, voice cracking.
vi let out a loud moan, her head pressing against your neck, whining against your skin.
and then, she deflated above you.
your body jolts and shakes with every flow of energy, every flow of pleasure. you were so fulfilled, so full, finally getting what your body had been aching for, begging for.
a proper fuck.
a proper fuck from vi.
you had vi. and that was all you needed, even if it was only for the times being.
you yelp as she flips you over, resting you on her chest. she pressed her hips deeper inside of you, and you gasp.
“n.. no! no, no more.” you cry, your head falling against her chest.
“don’t worry.” she says as she caged her arms around you, hands resting tightly on your waist. her hands run up your back. “i won’t push you.”
you let out a sigh of relief.
you fell into a silence.
it was hard for your body to recover from your orgasms when the strap-on was still inside you, pressing into that spot. with every shift she made, you felt your body rile up again.
a beat of silence.
another.
you hear your click tick. you feel her chest go up and down with her breath. you hear her heart beat.
.
.
“i missed you.”
she says this so softly. her arms tighten around your torso, her nose nuzzling into your hair.
“not your body.”
a/n. uh.. hey.. sorry this took so long LOL anyway this kid kind of rushed i apologize and it kind of sucks but blushes thank u for all the support on this little mini saga that stemmed off a one shot 🤗
taglist. @just-levyy @princesssmars @thesevi0lentdelights @kissyslut @devotedlyelectronicartisan @cheyisagirlkisser @maracujais @n1shuu @vivispace @elliecoochieeater @izu-lu @wanna1be0 @honeybunbunnie @yariany02 @dumblilb @lalalalal16 @vyvvycg @ayooooohush @slvtformilfs @the-disaster-in-waiting (some of ur tags didn’t work im sorry :( )
#fanfiction#writing#arcane#arcane league of legends#arcane season 2#vi x reader#arcane x reader#vi arcane#pit fighter vi
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try it. (matsukawa issei x reader)
tags/cw: roommates to lovers, somnophilia, fingering, mattsun sends porn as a coping mechanism, size kink if you really squint
word count: 3.1k
“i’ve always wanted to try that.”
issei chokes on his beer when you speak. you point at the tv in explanation, as though he needs one. the scene playing has just started out with a couple in bed, spooning while they fuck. everything’s covered, but it’s easy to tell through the blanket that the woman’s leg is lifted, her back arching against the man’s chest while she cries out lewdly.
“never been fucked in the morning?” he jokes, keeping his eyes trained on the screen so he doesn’t have to look at you. his laugh sounds awkward even to him.
“mm-mm.” you shake your head, draining your wine glass, and he can’t tell if that’s a confirmation or a rejection of his guess. but he can tell that that wine bottle on the coffee table is empty, because you would never say these things to him sober.
“not that part,” you explain. frowning when you realize there’s no wine left, you rise from the couch, disappearing from the room and padding down the hall. issei sighs in relief at the moment alone, running his fingers through his hair and tugging hard.
“she’s drunk,” he whispers to himself, a reminder. “she’s drunk, and she’s your friend. and you can’t afford rent anywhere else, you stupid fuck.” that’ll do it. he’s broke as shit, and you’re a good friend. he can steel his nerves with those facts.
“she was asleep when he started,” you call from the kitchen.
fuck.
issei drops his head back, hitting it on the wall a few times with purpose. fuck, fuck, fuck.
you come back in, and he straightens, yanking the throw blanket over his lap. you’re too drunk to notice.
you’re too drunk to notice much of anything, really — including your own running mouth.
“she was asleep,” you say again. “and he fucked her anyway—“ you rush to explain yourself, holding a hand out when his eyes find yours, wide and uncertain. “consensually, obviously.”
that doesn’t help. he’d been assuming that, but you confirming it makes it worse.
somnophilia, his mind whispers, the word latching itself to you.
“i dunno,” you shrug, your refilled wine glass brought to your lips. “i think it’s hot, i guess. i’d try it.”
he really can’t afford rent anywhere else.
—
you’re scouring roommate ads in a hungover daze the next morning.
what is your problem?, you think, rolling over to groan into your pillow. you open your bank app, staring at the number in your checking account and wondering uselessly if it’s enough to afford a place on your own. one where you’ll never have to look mattsun in the face again.
why did you tell him that?
your brain flashes through two bottles of wine and drunk admissions, and you switch over to uber eats, deciding that cooking is simply not an option today. standing in that kitchen for more then four seconds and risking running into him is not an option.
you know why you told him that. you know exactly why you told him.
you told him because, despite every coping mechanism you’ve tried over the years of living with him, matsukawa issei persists in being the most attractive man you’ve ever met.
you told him because you wanted to test the waters. why you would ever test the waters with somnophilia, of all things, and not something standard and vanilla like ‘making out with a friend just happens sometimes’ or ‘drunk hookups aren’t so bad’, you will never know.
but you’d told him because you think about it. you think about him, doing things like that. things that aren’t standard or vanilla or easily explained or plausibly deniable.
you think about matsukawa issei fucking you while you sleep. and maybe it’s happened one too many times. maybe now it’s all you think about, enough that it comes up in your stupid, drunk admissions.
maybe — just maybe — you hope he might take you up on it, now that it’s out there in the open like that.
but that’s just a maybe. so you’re looking for another apartment, on the very real chance that he’s going to call you a freak and never speak to you again.
your phone buzzes in your hand.
it’s a text from him.
[10:17 AM]
mattsun: [link attached]
your face crumples into a frown. “what?” you murmur, jabbing a thumb on the link and hoping it’s not a virus.
your phone starts moaning at max volume.
you scream, slamming down on the side button to lower the volume as the video intro plays through. your eyes fly to the title.
milf fucked by son’s friend while she’s sleeping
there’s no fucking way he just did that.
[10:19 AM]
mattsun: smth like that?
“matsukawa!” you scream, rolling out of bed and storming out into the hall. he’s laughing loudly from his room, and you all but kick his door down. “what the fuck is your problem?!”
he’s in bed, cackling gleefully and covering his face with his blanket — but his eyes are anything but shy when he looks at you.
“just trying to ease the tension-“
“by sending me porn?!”
he shrugs and gestures to his phone. “im just saying, you’re not alone! at least—“ he glances down at the screen “—3.8 million other people are into it, too-“
you scream in frustration, turning and stomping back to your room. his laughter follows, echoing through your door even when you slam it.
he does it for two weeks straight. every few days, you wake up to a new link, each video titled something more obnoxious than the last.
guy takes step-sister while she takes a nap
mom wakes step-son up with a special surprise on his birthday
repairman finds sleeping beauty home alone
each one draws an irritated screech of his name and the echoing giggles of satisfaction from his room.
you could stop it. in fact, he’s asked you more than once if you want him to.
‘if you really want me to stop, i’ll stop, he’d said in your kitchen last week.
‘just say the word,’ he’d reminded you on his way out one morning.
‘i think you and i both know how important consent is,’ he’d murmured just two nights ago, leaning on your doorframe, his eyes hot on yours.
you’d shivered under his gaze and pretended to be engrossed in something on your phone. you’d hoped he couldn’t see the way you’d pressed your thighs together, but when you looked up, he was already staring down at them.
he’d met your eyes again and just hummed, flicking his dark eyebrows up at you before turning away. your phone had buzzed with a new link only seconds after his bedroom door had clicked shut.
you’re certain he knows why you haven’t told him to stop. that the truth is that you don’t want him to stop. you’re certain he’s testing the waters now, too.
because each video he sends you gets closer and closer to being about roommates.
your phone buzzes in your hands. you wonder if he knows that you watch each one, waiting for him to pull the trigger on the one that sits unspoken in the space between you.
he does, a week later.
—
you’ve caught him, issei realizes belatedly.
maybe he should have noticed after you started sitting closer to him on the couch. or maybe after you’d refused to tell him to stop sending you porn. or maybe even after he’d sent you something titled ‘roommate can’t help himself while she sleeps’ at 4 in the morning and you hadn’t called the cops on him.
maybe he should have realized you’d caught him after any one of those. but he doesn’t. he doesn’t realize it, not until this very moment, as you’re standing from the couch and bending over to clean the table of empty beer bottles before bed.
he doesn’t realize it until he realizes you’re not wearing any underwear.
he glances at you shamefully when you bend at the waist, hoping you don’t look back and catch him. and then he coughs violently, choking on his own spit and drawing your attention.
he waves you off, blushing furiously and not even bothering to stop his eyes from flying to your ass when you just shrug and bend over again. your pajama shorts have ridden up, but there’s no lacy edge on pink panties where there should be.
yes, he’d noticed years ago that these shorts tend to ride up and not mentioned it. yes, he knows what kind of panties you wear. yes, he has a favorite pair.
what are you gonna do if you find out, call him a pervert? he’d sent you roommate somnophilia porn and you’d made him coffee in the morning.
“‘kay, goodnight,” you mumble, and issei wonders if you’re shy about it or if he’s just hoping you are.
“g’night,” he breathes, eyes finding yours. you keep eye contact all the way out of the living room. your eyes drop to his lap at the last second, and he watches a grin stretch across your face just before you disappear from the room.
he looks down at his lap, and then he swears under his breath. he’s visibly hard in his sweatpants.
—
he feels like a pervert. he really feels like a pervert.
he stands in the hall outside your bedroom, one hand on the knob, feeling like a pervert. it’s 2 in the morning, and he feels like a pervert.
he sighs to himself and turns the knob slowly — ever so slowly, because he knows how it creaks, and he doesn’t want to wake you. he pushes the door open carefully, and then he finds you in the dark, moonlight spilling over your body.
you’re completely naked.
you’re on your stomach, blankets draped over your lower half and one knee bent out toward the wall. issei can see the expanse of your bare skin and the swell of your breast, but you’ve got your back slightly to him, so he can’t see everything.
but it’s enough.
he breathes hard, stepping into the room and shutting the door silently behind him. he runs his fingers through his hair, tugging hard and giving a soft sigh as he pads over to you.
when he lowers his knees to your mattress, it’s with his heart in his throat and his cock straining against his pants. you look so innocent, so sweet like this, even while he’s sliding the blankets off of your skin and exposing you in the moonlight.
is he really allowed to want this as badly as he does?
your breath is steady, only changing slightly when he braces himself behind you, propped up on one elbow. he scoots toward you, breath caught in his throat, and then slides his hand under the back of your knee. you shiver, probably because his fingers are ice cold, and he keeps his eyes locked on the side of your face.
when you don’t give any other sign of waking, he lifts your leg and hooks it backward over his knee, opening your body up for him.
he swears under his breath, staring down at you in the moonlight.
you shift, adjusting to the new angle of your body with a sigh. your back presses to his chest, and issei has to press his lips together so he doesn’t moan at the sight of you.
he keeps his eyes on your face when he slides his fingers along your inner thigh, watching you intensely as his icy fingertips dance close to the spot between your thighs that’s radiating heat.
when he cups your bare cunt, your skin breaks out in goosebumps, but you don’t move otherwise. issei moans now, because your body knows what he’s doing, but you don’t.
he’d had a feeling before — in the weeks between that moment on the couch and this moment right here — that he’d unlocked a new, previously untouched fantasy. that his reaction to your drunken admission might have been about more than just being attracted to you.
he sees it now. now, as he’s sliding two fingers between your folds and watching as you remain completely unaware, he realizes that you’ve done something to him. that you’ve made him want to do this to you, tonight and every night after.
it takes every ounce of his self-control not to shudder and moan in your ear when your pussy twitches under his fingers, reacting to him even when you don’t.
he drops his head to your chest, eyes locked on your face as he takes one of your nipples in his mouth. your lips part, and he freezes, but the sigh that falls out is nowhere near conscious, so he keeps going, sucking and licking and grazing his teeth over the bud while he massages your cunt with his now-warm fingers.
the first sign that you’re reacting is the growing ease with which he’s able to push his fingers against you. your entrance becomes slick, and he can’t help that he pushes his hips against your ass in response, seeking relief. he drops his touch lower and swipes the pads of his fingers through the mess there, spreading it all over your cunt.
when he circles your clit, slippery and warm now, your breathing changes, harder and rougher. the rise and fall of your chest pushes at his mouth, and he latches on with fresh fervor, watching your brows furrow and your lips twitch at the onslaught of sensations.
it shouldn’t be as easy as it is for him to push his middle finger past your entrance.
“fuck”, he whispers despite himself, mouth slipping off of you with a gentle pop and eyes rolling back in his head. your walls pulse around his finger, warm and velvety and wet beyond belief. his cock twitches hard in his pants as he slides his finger in and out of you, searching for that spongy spot that’ll wake you up.
he knows you might have wanted him to fuck you like this, but he can’t help himself anymore. he doesn’t have it in him to be careful anymore.
when his ring finger joins his middle, it’s with intent. the push is rough, bullying your cunt open with the size of his fingers, no doubt longer and fuller than you can get on your own.
you shift under him, a quiet noise of question leaving you, and he lifts his head, attaching his lips to the crook of your neck.
“y/n,” he whispers, more a moan than anything else. “need you.”
he sucks on the column of your throat while you come to, his fingers curling and spreading inside of you — his sloppy attempt to prepare you for him.
“h-huh-“ your head lifts slightly, and then you’re slamming it back against the pillow, your back arching. “oh, my god, mattsun-“
he almost comes in his pants when you say his name like that.
“couldn’t help myself,“ he starts, shaking his head and pushing his body against yours almost desperately. “you were so pretty.“ your cunt tightens around his fingers in response, and he files that away for later. keeps it in mind, the things that make you react like this. “need you so bad, y/n-“
“yes, god yes,” you breathe, a whine trapped in your throat. you turn your head, back still pressed against his chest, and drop your still-sleepy eyes to his lips.
the coil under issei’s navel tugs hard when he realizes how well he can read you.
he pushes his mouth against yours eagerly, moan unrestrained when your tongue slides against his. he wonders if you know how often he’s thought of this moment, years of wanting you and craving the feeling of you coming undone under his fingers.
“please,” you whisper against his lips, back arching when he pushes the pads of his fingers against that spongy spot that makes you whine. “more, mattsun.”
he groans, shivering when you pull his bottom lip between your teeth. “not yet — it’ll hurt,” he murmurs, leaning on every molecule of self-control.
“i can take it,” you just say, pushing your ass back against his aching cock. “promise.”
he never had that much self-control to begin with.
his moan comes out in a shuddered breath, overpowered by the sound of you whining when he slips his fingers out of you. he shoves his sweats down to his knees, meeting your eyes and seeing the urgency he feels reflected in your eyes.
when he slides his cock between your folds, it’s with a choked groan and a heaving pant in your ear.
“can i- are you sure-“ he stutters, already lining himself up at your entrance.
“please, please, please,” you babble, arching your back to make the angle easier on him.
you come around his cock before he’s even halfway in.
there are stars in his eyes by the time you’re done.
you cry out for him, shaking and clenching down hard, and he can’t do anything except bury his face in your hair and keep your leg lifted high with a trembling hand.
“fuck,” he breathes, voice tight. “fuck, y/n-“
“more, mattsun,” you sob. he thinks you might be the girl of his dreams.
pushing the rest of the way in, he shoves down his own orgasm, fighting and kicking and forcing it away so he can last more than thirty seconds inside of you.
he only manages a minute before he’s spilling into you with a stuttered moan of your name, face buried in your neck and head full of static.
you’re just slumped against him by the time he comes to his senses, breathing hard and synced with his.
“sorry,” he mumbles into your hair, ears burning with embarrassment. “i swear i usually last longer than that-“
you laugh, tired and still weak but bright all the same. “yeah — so do i.”
he snorts, pulling out slowly and letting your leg drop closed, trying his best not to moan at the feeling.
“are you sure that was okay?” he asks, a tiny inkling of doubt still seeded in his veins. you just giggle, whispering his name in fond exasperation.
“sorry, which part of me sleeping naked was a warning sign?”
“shut up,” he mutters, curling himself around you and feeling the beginnings of exhaustion start to drain his energy. “i’m staying here tonight. i don’t do one-night stands.”
you just turn in his arms and wrap your arms around his neck. “was i that good, mattsun? i was asleep for half of it.”
you’re gonna be the thing that kills him, he just knows it.
#banner by @/cafekitsune !!#matsukawa x reader#matsukawa issei#matsukawa smut#haikyuu smut#hq smut#hq x reader#haikyuu x reader
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Part one
Rafe had been calling you extensively. To the point, where you had to have do not disturb on. You didn’t have it in you yet to block him. You forgot he also knew where you lived.
“You know we could have done this the easy way. Now we’re going to have to do the hard way.” He said, once you opened the door. You didn’t even have time to run, he had grabbed you forcefully. You screamed.
“Shhh, baby shh.”
You knew he had erratic behavior. He just hadn’t ever displayed it before to you.
“Rafe! Rafe! Put me down!”
“Rafe, dude. Come on, is this really necessary?”Topper says, watching his friend manhandle you.
“Shut the fuck up, Top!” Rafe says. “Help me get her in the car.”
“No! Get off!” You scream, you’re scratching at his arms and he winces in pain.
“Ow! Stop that!”
You manage to pull away from his strong hold.
“Enough Rafe, you can’t force me to go anywhere with you. This counts as kidnapping, ya know!”
He tries to grab you again but Topper gets inbetween.
“Do you really want to get in my way, Topper?” Rafe says, his eyes are on you though.
“Dude, this is not the way. You told me we came here so you could talk to her. Not force her to go somewhere against her will.”
Rafe begins to cry as he sees you flinch back. He doesn’t even care that Topper can see.
“Let her go, dude.” Topper says gently. You never would have guessed, Topper to be the voice of reason. But here he was.
“No! Fuck you, Topper. Please baby, please! I promise. I promise I’ll get clean. I haven’t even touched coke in weeks. Tell her Top. Tell her!”
You can tell he’s lying through his teeth. His jaw is swinging. And he keeps wiping away at his nose. His eyes are red from the tears.
“Baby, please.”
“I’m not your baby anymore.” You finally say.
“No.” He cries. “No don’t say shit like that. You’re breaking my heart baby. I fucked up, I know that. But you don’t have to punish me for it. Please. The coke will go away. The parties. I’ll change my lifestyle. I’ll be different.” He pauses. “I’ll be a different Rafe. Clean Rafe. Good Rafe. Country club Rafe. No drugs. No alcohol.”
He’s hitting his head with his hand as he says each word. A part of you aches to go to him to make him stop.
But you can tell he’s bluffing. You know he’ll do it sneakily.
“Rafe, you don’t know how to. That is your life. Until you’re serious—.” You try to speak but he cuts you off abruptly.
“I am serious! Tell her Topper. Fucking tell her! I stopped it all.”
You begin to cry, scared of the boy you’re looking at. Scared of whose he’s become. This wasn’t your Rafe.
“Come on, man. You’re scaring her. Let’s just go, okay—“
“Shut up Topper! Why can’t you shut up! You’re not helping me!”
He finally manages to get around Topper. His arms are around you again, he hiccups from the tears he’s crying.
“Princess, please. I’ll do anything. I’ll get on my knees. Please, don’t leave me. I love you. I love you.”
Kelce shows up out of nowhere. You don’t even realized he’s pulled up.
“That’s enough Rafe. Come on man. Let her be.” Both boys grab Rafe, freeing you from his grip.
“No! Please, no! I need her! I fucking need her.”
Grim faces are present on both boys faces.
“We know man. Just come on.”
Once they get him away, you crumble to the ground. Sobs breaking out of you.
“Hey! Is everything okay? We heard screaming.” Your old elderly neighbor asks. She’s a sweet old lady, who gardens when she can. You’ve helped her out a few times.
“Why don’t you come in. I’ve made some pie. I think you’ll like it.”
You manage to get up and follow her in. She gives you a sad smile.
“I’m sorry for the screaming.” You say meekly.
“Don’t ever apologize for another persons actions. Especially not a boy who doesn’t know when no means no. You’re so much stronger than that. I know it. I’ve known you since you were four. You’ve always been a fierce girl. Don’t ever let anyone take that away from you.” Her hand is on your shoulder. Gentle. Unlike Rafes iron clad grip. You almost burst out crying again.
“Come on, let’s enjoy some pie.”
#rafe cameron angst#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron#rafe fanfiction#outerbanks rafe#rafe obx#rafe imagine#this one is the longest fic I’ve made in a long while#rafe x you
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Pairing: Bucky Barnes x female reader
Word Count: 1,176
Summary: You and Bucky have been doing the flirty friends dance for a while now, the tension building but when nothing seems to progress any further you accept a date from another guy...
Author's Note: So I was just thinking about the hotness of dry humping and when you just have to find release in the moment and all that and I love the whole friends to lovers trope. There isn't a ton of back story here but it's the usual. Thank you all so much for reading! Much love always! ❤️❤️❤️Divider by the lovely @firefly-graphics thank you Daisy! 🥰
Warnings: fluffy, softness, tension, dry humping, confessions lol
“Are you sure I didn’t wake you Bucky?”
He’s standing in the doorway of his apartment in nothing but sweatpants that hang low on his hips. His hair is mussed and falling over his forehead, and you can smell the soap on his skin.
You try to keep your eyes trained on his face.
“I’m sure,” he says as he takes your hand and leads you into his apartment. “I’ve been up for a while.”
He rubs the back of his neck and glances at you as you take off your jacket.
“So, are you going to tell me more about this date…that was over at what eight o’clock?” he asks teasingly.
“Maybe it was closer to nine,” you laugh.
“Doll,” he chides, still staring.
You groan and hang your jacket over the chair. “I just wasn’t…he wasn’t…”
Your words die off when you see the expression on his face. His eyes are wide, and his lips are slightly parted as his gaze moves slowly down your body.
“What?” you ask.
“What are you…did you walk all the way over here in that?”
You drop your head to look down at your clothing. “Oh.”
“I probably should have thought about that but I…I wanted to see you and…”
“It’s fine,” Bucky mumbles before he swallows hard and tries to focus on filling a glass of water.
“So…the date?” he asks, keeping his eyes on the sink.
“I guess I didn’t really want to be there. I had other things on my mind.”
“Like?” he counters.
“Likeeeeee…um.”
“Me?”
His one-word response comes out quietly and as more of a question and when his eyes meet yours they’re soft and shy and a little hopeful.
“Yeah,” you answer, looking down as you twist your hands in front of you.
“Well, in case you didn’t get the memo before, I wasn’t exactly having an easy time sleeping over here…or doing anything else for that matter.”
You look up again and meet his stare as he continues.
“I can’t concentrate on shit. Sam keeps giving me hell because I’m not focused.”
You laugh softly as you move closer. “I know exactly what you mean. I’m so wound up I can hardly sit still.”
“Yeah,” he agrees, running his hand over his hair with an exhale. “I hate that you went on a date with another guy tonight.”
“I hate it too. I don’t even know why I did,” you say quietly, inching closer. “All I kept thinking, is that I wanted it to be you.”
He closes the distance, his eyes searching every inch of your face. “I should have stopped you and told you…”
You wait for him to finish, knowing this is all new again for him.
“I don’t think... I’ve never been this distracted by anyone before,” he whispers.
You’re so close you can see the small patches of gray hairs that line his shadowed jaw and without thinking you lean in and brush your lips to his.
He sucks in a breath, and you feel him press his body against yours.
“I have no idea what we’re doing,” he admits. “But I do know that I don’t want anyone else to take you out…to kiss you…to have you.”
“Bucky…”
His name is a whispered plea, and he tilts his head and closes his eyes, moving just enough to kiss you softly.
“Tell me to stop,” he murmurs.
There is no way you could.
Instead, you reach up, slide your fingers along the back of his neck and press your lips more firmly to his.
And then he pushes forward, closer, lining up your bodies so that you can feel the hard shape of him against your stomach.
Your hand slides along his skin and you feel the solid strength of muscle in his back as he walks you backward until you fall gently onto the couch.
“I can’t stop thinking about you,” he whispers against your lips.
He pulls back just enough to meet your eyes and sweeps his thumb across your bottom lip.
“Me either,” you tell him, shifting until his length is pressed right between your legs.
He swears and dips back down to kiss you. Your hips roll and his face falls to your neck with a groan.
“Fuck that feels good,” he murmurs, moving with you.
The material of his sweatpants is thin and your sleep shorts even thinner and you can feel every inch of him.
Your hips press up from the couch and you give his hair a tug.
“That’s it doll,” he says. “Don’t stop.”
His mouth follows his hands everywhere and you grow more and more desperate, searching for friction as you rub against him repeatedly.
“Bucky,” you gasp.
He rocks his hips forward and against you, the perfect drag of heat and pressure just where you need it.
Your fingers twist into his hair and you feel yourself start to fall, closing your eyes as your release rushes through your body. You cry out his name and feel his hips move faster, his grip tight on your skin as he grunts into your neck when he comes.
He collapses against you, his breath warm on your skin before pushing up onto his elbows and looking down at you with a sweet, drowsy, and almost timid expression.
“Hey doll,” he says, his lips tilting into a lopsided smirk.
“Hiya Buck,” you whisper, running a hand over his hair.
“Doing that made me feel young again,” he chuckles. “Like a teenager.”
Your smile is bright as you trace the crinkle lines around his eyes. “I didn’t think that was possible.”
He feigns an appalled look and then brushes his nose to yours with a smirk.
“You just made me come in my pants. I have no control when it comes to you.”
“Is that a bad thing?” you ask with a soft smile.
“No,” he murmurs. “Definitely not.”
His large hand cradles your cheek, and he kisses your forehead, then your temple, his lips moving slowly along your skin until they meet the spot just below your ear.
“I…um…I don’t mean to run off,” he starts. “But I just want to clean up and change.”
Your teeth dig into your bottom lip, and you start to giggle, patting his back.
He kisses you softly once, then twice before he pushes himself up but then he pauses, hovering above you, and as if he can’t bear to leave you his body covers yours again and he kisses you with more urgency.
When he pulls away his breathing is heavy, and his eyes are hooded.
“I want to stay with you tonight Bucky,” you whisper.
He watches you for a moment, never breaking eye contact, waiting for you to change your mind.
You stare right back and wait for his answer.
“If you stay…” he starts.
You’re already nodding. “I know.”
“I’m not going to be able to have you in my bed and not…I might not be able to go slow.”
You pull him down for another kiss. “I know.”
#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes#bucky barnes x you#bucky barnes x female reader#bucky barnes fanfiction#bucky barnes x y/n#bucky barnes imagine#bucky x reader#sebastian stan#sebastian stan x reader
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I don’t know if you currently accept requests but if you do could you write something with Spence where reader isn’t really a touchy kind of person and the team goes out for drinks, r gets drunk and is super touchy with Spencer and he is so flustered but secretly loves it?
If not don’t worry about it<3
Thank you for requesting angel <3
cw: alcohol
Spencer Reid x bau!reader ♡ 759 words
“Dave,” Prentiss says firmly, “I’ve got it.”
“No, you got it last time.” Rossi’s trying to put his credit card down on the tab the waiter left, but Prentiss blocks him with a hand. “Let me take this one.”
“I don’t care which of them gets it,” you say near Spencer’s ear. “Just glad it’s not me.” He laughs.
Luckily, you’re not loud enough for anyone to hear but him. You’ve become surprisingly mumbly after a few drinks, imparting your observations and witticisms to Spencer alone, your cheek on his shoulder. Surprisingly tactile, too.
“What are you doing?” he asks as you trace the creases spanning the insides of his fingers. He doesn’t think you’re doing anything really, drunk enough to be susceptible to whims and mindless fiddling, but Spencer likes to hear you talk.
You make a muted humming sound. “Reading your finger lines.”
“You mean my palm lines?”
“No, I mean your finger ones. I’m inventing a new science.”
Spencer smiles. The tip of your nose is touching the knit of his cardigan, he wonders if it itches. You might not notice, though, with the way you’re so concentrated on his hand. Your lashes shadow your eyes like heavy clouds.
“You know,” says Spencer, “there’s been some disagreement among biologists about palm lines. They’re called palmar flexion creases, and while it’s largely agreed upon that they form before birth to allow freedom of movement without stretching the skin on our hands, some also think that certain lines can indicate certain medical conditions.”
“Huh.” You trace your finger down to his palm. “So, sort of like telling the future.”
“Well, modern medical practitioners can usually identify those conditions early after birth anyway—but sure, if you want to think about it that way.”
“That’s okay, I’m not that invested in palm line science anyway.”
You say it placidly, even though you’re not moving away, like nothing is really all that important so long as you’re touching him. The dim, orange bulbs of the lamps in the bar cast shadows under your lashes and in the dip of your cupid’s bow.
Your finger keeps moving absently, past Spencer’s wrist until you’re nudging up his shirtsleeve. “You have really nice forearms,” you murmur.
Spencer’s skin prickles with a blush. He takes your hand away in an effort to deter you, but you only go along with the deviation, linking your fingers through his. He glances at Garcia, relieved when she’s not looking. Just last week, she’d asked Spencer and Morgan if you secretly didn’t like her.
I tried to give her a hug, she’d said, pouting confusedly, and she went as stiff as a board. It was the worst rejection I’ve had since high school.
Morgan had laughed. Not everyone is as warm and fuzzy as you are, babygirl. Don’t take it personal. She’s just not the touchy type.
You feel for Spencer’s other hand under the table, seeking to add it to your collection. He gives it over to avoid a fuss.
On the other end of the table, Rossi seems to have successfully paid the bill.
“Okay.” He gets up with a sigh, grabbing his coat. “I will see you kids tomorrow.”
“Bright and early,” JJ agrees with joking weariness.
As your team starts to get up, say goodbye, and (in Garcia’s case) hurriedly slurp up the remainders of their drinks, Spencer gives your fingers a tentative squeeze.
“Time to go,” he tells you.
You sigh heavily, warm breath permeating his cardigan. “Okay. I guess.”
Spencer’s not entirely sure where your reluctance is coming from—if he were you, he’d be eager for his bed—but you stand without complaint, immediately looping your arm through Spencer’s and leaning comfortably against his side.
Morgan raises his eyebrows. “Need some help there, pretty boy?”
“That’s okay.” It’s out before Spencer can think it through, and heat comes to his face when Morgan’s lips lift with a knowing grin.
Thankfully, Hotch spares him any elaboration. “I can take her home.” He’s watching you severely, the way a strict parent looks at their teenager before reluctantly getting them ibuprofen and a glass of water for the next morning. “She can’t drive.”
“That’s okay,” Spencer says again. “I can drive her.”
Hotch’s face is impassive, but Spencer can tell he’s not overly surprised. “Are you sure? I live closer than you do.”
“I’m sure.” Again, his face heats at what he knows his answer is revealing. But Spencer looks down at you, contented and half asleep against his side, and it’s worth it. “I don’t mind.”
#spencer reid#dr spencer reid#bau!reader#spencer reid x bau!reader#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x fem!reader#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid x you#spencer reid x self insert#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid fic#spencer reid fluff#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid scenario#spencer reid drabble#spencer reid blurb#spencer reid oneshot#spencer reid one shot#criminal minds#criminal minds fanfiction#criminal minds fanfic#criminal minds fic#criminal minds fandom#criminal minds x reader
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