#I’ve girlbossed too close to the sun

[bibibitchery]

i think i’ve learned how to manipulate

FUCK

[zee-has-commitment-issues]

Guys the fejk actors found my instagram and they keep looking at my story as I freak out about them knowing they know me-

HELP WHAT DO I DO?

[coldhands-sunkeneyes]

I am currently experiencing shrimp emotions

[illmissthecrowning]

I just got my first ever college theatre callback using a monologue from Dracula, truly the funniest thing that’s ever happened to me.

[windshieldwiper]

I wish school stopped existing so that I can stay at home and draw, n draw AND DRAW

[8-worms-in-a-trenchcoat]

i feel like i need a break from making dndads fanart, but i need to get this stupid grant animatic done cause i have the perfect ending for it and i cannot let the next episode ruin my creative vision

[racquacoon]

We all know all the obvious reasons people are complaining about kostopairs. But only one is valid: to watch Aliona skate we gotta see Someguy™️ too. Is this man going to bring the same energy? Pizazz? Dazzle? Can he do the kicks?

[mooseonahunt]

I’m suffering from success.

I’ve won, but at what cost.

Leon’s shoulders sagged at seeing a little girl shyly peeking out from behind Luis’s legs. She couldn’t be older than five—even younger than Sherry was when Leon first met her. Ashley gasped, the sound causing the little girl to tug at Luis’s pants. He quietly murmured something in Spanish to her, and she reluctantly stuck her head out again.

“This is my daughter,” Luis introduced her to his companions.

--

With the events of RE4 concluded, Luis introduces his daughter to Ashley and Leon, and the three return to America for the next chapter of their lives. Luis and Leon raise her together, traversing the struggles of fatherhood while tiptoeing around their feelings for each other.

GOD THIS IS,, A LABOUR OF LOVE,, MY LOVE. I accidentally have brainrot over my own AU. They're so in love I'm gonna be sick I hate them and I love their little family they make me feel unwell in a good way

[icaruspendragon]

I’ve been dying to tell someone this for so long and I’ve just left my old place of work so here goes… when the Castiel confession happened I was on my way to my job at a news broadcast channel and every now and then I would check social media to see what fresh hell was unfolding and it was smack bang in the middle of the election insanity so everyone in the newsroom was feverishly waiting for Nevada to call their votes and the Putin rumours were starting on Twitter and tumblr was in full meltdown and I was staring at my phone and trying not to scream/laugh out loud and a producer saw me and asked what I was looking at and I panicked and said that it looked like Putin was resigning and the foreign producer freaked out and out together a short news package about it… and it went to air.

oh my god??? oh my god?????? holy shit???? you had the power to do the single funniest thing possible??? AND YOU DID IT????

i am and will forever be in awe of you. you didn't girlboss too close to the sun. you became the fucking sun. incredible. impeccable. i will literally spend the rest of my life thinking about this and your influence. /gen

thank you so much for trusting me with this information. it is truly an honor and a privilege and i will cherish this and you for the rest of forever.

[dear-ao3]

look guys i know my mmo is committing to the bit but i’m beginning to think that i’ve girlbossed a little too close to the sun here. i think the wax is melting off of my wings.

[asleepinglaurel]

Litpollo incorrect quotes… (I’m feeding the shippers)

Lit: At first I thought you were foolish and incompetent.  Apollo: My apologies for whatever misstep I may have taken to dispel that impression. It was an honest mistake, I swear.

Lit: Is something burning?  Apollo: My burning love for you of course!  Lit: …  Apollo: …  Apollo: And the kitchen is on fire…

Apollo: Hey Lit, I’ve got an idea for how to solve this.  Lit, pulling out a sword: Yeah?  Apollo: Wh- No! That’s not the idea, Lit!

Lit: When do you usually go to sleep?  Apollo: Whenever I collapse is entirely up to the gods.

(do gods even sleep?)

Lit: Wasn't icarly that guy that girlbossed too close to the sun because he was down for you?  Apollo: ICARUS?

Lit: Unpopular opinion, not all dogs are good boys.  Apollo: Blocked.  Lit: Sometimes, they’re good girls!  Apollo: UNBLOCKED!

Apollo: Why is there blood everywhere?  Lit: I may have aggressively poked someone with a knife.  Apollo: You stabbed someone?!  Lit: No, no. I aggressively poked someone with a knife.

[catbuggirly]

Girlbossed too close to the sun, broke something that’s kinda crucial in my life right now that’s gonna be verry tricky for me to get fixed, will probably not be able to be as active for a while since I’m gonna be picking up every single possible shift till this is fixed, I WILL be back but idk when, I WILL reply to the ppl I regularly chat too but I’ve kinda really fucked myself over tbh

[violetspots-2007]

Part 2 to that Welcome Home Incorrect Quotes post I made, like, a year ago. Wow how productive of me.

.

Poppy: Good morning.

Julie: Good morning.

Eddie: Good morning.

Barnaby: You all sound like robots, try spicing it up a bit.

Sally: MORNING MOTHERFUCKERS!

.

Barnaby, holding in their laughter: Hey, how do you ask a glass of water what it’s doing?

Frank: A glass of water is an inanimate object. Therefore, it's incapable of having a thought process or understanding basic human language.

Barnaby:

Barnaby: Water you doing?

.

Julie, peeling a banana: May I take your jacket, sir? Hahahaha.

Frank: Do you think other people can’t hear you?

.

Wally: Good. Thanks, dad.

Poppy: You just called Eddie “dad”. You just said “thanks, dad.”

Wally: What? No, I didn’t. I said “thanks, man”.

Eddie: Do you see me as a father figure, Wally?

Wally: No. If anything I see you as a bother figure ‘cause you’re always bothering me.

Howdy: Hey! Show your father some respect!

.

Howdy: *on the phone* Just snap his kneecaps and he’ll talk, I’m at a parent teacher conference.

Howdy: Anyways, you said Wally is enjoying finger painting! That's great.

.

Eddie: Shouldn't get stressed out, it's not good for the baby.

Wally: What baby?

Eddie, crying a bit: Me.

.

Wally: The shadow realm? No, I’m sending you to Ohio!

.

Howdy: Well, if you're not at least a little bit gay for your friends, then what kind of friend are you?

.

Frank, looking at a selfie of Wally's: I hate this photo.

Wally: I’m cute as fuck in that photo! I’m smiling kindly.

Frank: You’re not smiling kindly; you look like you’re up to something.

Wally: Up to kindness.

.

*at a zoo*

Julie: What are they in for?

Frank: Julie, this isn't prison.

Julie: So they can leave?

Frank: No, but-

Julie, pointing at a meerkat: I bet that one murdered someone.

.

Poppy: Fine! Judge all you want but...

Poppy, points at Sally: Married a lesbian.

Poppy, points at Julie: Left a man at the altar.

Poppy, points at Wally: Fell in love with a gay ice dancer.

Poppy, points at Barnaby: Threw a girl’s wooden leg in a fire.

Poppy, points at Howdy: Lives in a box!

.

Julie: Frank and I are so close we even share a toothbrush.

Frank: We what?

.

Wally: I never tell people off the bat that I'm gay. I wait. I wait until they say some homophobic shit and then I laugh and am like "you know I'm gay right?" and watch the look of terror on their face.

Barnaby:

Barnaby: I like you.

.

Eddie: I think I'm falling for you.

Frank: Then get up.

.

Julie: Why do you act like we’re three year olds?

Frank, exasperated: WHY?!?

Frank points at Barnaby: YOU TRIED TO HYJACK A CAR!

Frank points at Wally: YOU NEARLY JUMPED 20 FEET OFF A CARPARK!

Frank points at Julie: AND YOU ATE MULTIPLE DRIED LEAVES AND ROCKS OFF THE GROUND!

Frank: AND YOU ASK ME WHY????

.

Howdy: Just a minute. I need to go take out the trash.

Frank: Oh. We're going out?

Howdy: Wh…

.

Wally: *gets set on fire and screams in agony*

Wally: Nah, I’m just kidding. Fire does nothing to me.

.

Sally: I need 28 lightbulbs for 28 ducks.

Howdy: Ducks can’t eat lightbulbs?

Barnaby: I think that’s the point.

Sally: Exactly. I want my ducks to glow so I can find them.

.

Julie: Wasn't icarly that guy that girlbossed too close to the sun because he was down for Apollo?

Frank: ICARUS?

.

*at an awards show*

Poppy: Can I carry you on my back like Eddie did?

Wally: I don't think Barnaby would like that.

Poppy: *pouts*

*Later*

Poppy: *carrying Wally on their back*

Barnaby: What the hell??

Wally: What was I supposed to do? Say no?

.

Frank: I have very high standards, you know.

Eddie: I can make spaghetti...

Frank: Oh no! You're meeting all my standards!

.

Wally: I’ve been here in jail so long I think I’ve lost my mind.

Wally: The days turn into weeks, weeks turn into months.

Wally: How long have I been in here now? Almost a year?

Barnaby: This is Monopoly.

.

Wally: Could you guys at least try to see this from my perspective?

Barnaby: *crouches down*

Frank: *kneels down*

Poppy: *sits on the floor*

Wally:

Wally: I hate all of you.

.

*Sally is crying after a breakup*

Eddie: There there, Sally.

Sally, still crying: Thanks, but how did you get into my room?

Eddie: Great question—

.

Barnaby, knocking on the door: Howdy, open up!

Howdy: It all started when I was a kid.

Barnaby: That’s not what I-

Sally: Let them finish!

.

Julie, on a random band name generator: Oooo! They Might Be Depressed Horses! That about sums up my friend group.

.

Julie: War is heck!

.

Sally: What’s it like being tall?

Sally: Is it nice?

Sally: Can you reach comfortably for the cupboards?

Poppy: We live in constant fear of the short ones who, in my experience, will climb 4 chairs, 2 boxes, a small coffee table and 6 oddly placed stools to get what they want.

Wally: It was one time!

.

Howdy: Last night I found out Barnaby is a sleep talker.

Poppy: Oh, really?

Howdy: "The mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell." Right. In. My. Ear. At 3am.

.

Wally: Wakey Wakey Eggs and Bakey!

Poppy: But I'm a vegan.

Wally: Wakey Wakey Vegetables and Sadness.

.

Howdy: Imagine if someone handed you a box full of all the things you lost throughout your life.

Sally: It would be nice to have my sense of purpose back...

Julie: Oh wow, my childhood innocence! Thank you for finding this.

Eddie: My will to live! I haven't seen this in years.

Barnaby: I knew I lost that potential somewhere.

Wally: Mental stability, my old friend!

Howdy: Jesus, could you guys lighten up a little?

.

Frank, looking over Wally’s shoulder: You can draw?

Wally, stopping what they were doing: You can speak?

.

Wally, near tears: Please, Neighbor, I don’t speak meme! I don't know what a 'yeet' is!

.

Julie: A party is a celebration of a life, bringing people together to let the guest of honor know how much they’re loved. Frank has done so much for us. This is our chance to do something for them.

Eddie: By forcing them to have fun at a party that they don’t want to be at?

Julie: I knew you’d understand.

.

Wally: Julie noticed only today that they can label their email inboxes, but they took apart their entire bloody laptop two weeks ago.

Sally: This reminds me of the Julie who couldn’t turn on the coffee maker, but remembers about 500 digits of pi.

Wally: I’ll be delighted to inform you that this is the very same Julie.

.

Julie: What do I get?

Sally: A night of fashion, mischief, mayhem, and possible death.

Julie: Ooh, check, check, and check; not sure about that last one.

Sally: It won't be you.

Julie: I'll get my coat.

.

Wally: My crush isn’t picking up on my hints.

Barnaby: What hints have you given them?

Wally: Well, I think about them a lot.

Wally: And sometimes I even think about talking to them.

.

Poppy: Don’t worry, I know exactly what I’m doing. Everything is going to be fine!

Julie: How can you still say that?

Poppy: Because sometimes, when things get tough, denial is all we have.

.

Julie: If you spell skeletons backwards, it still spells skeletons.

Barnaby, deadpan: Wow, I can't wait for Halloween to see some snoteleks.

.

Wally: I'm not a morning person. I'm barely even a person.

.

Julie, holding a scooter: Poppy! Can I go outside and play with this?

Poppy: Sure, whatever. I'm not your parent, okay?

Julie, running outside: Thanks Poppy!

Poppy, running out after them and screaming: NOT ON THE STREET! STAY AWAY!

.

Sally: ....Thou shalt not marry each other, for thy art both sinful...

Frank: I just wanna fucking marry Eddie!!

.

Eddie: My life is a little too much panic and not enough disco.

Julie: My life is a little too much fall and not enough boy.

Wally: My life is a little too much chemical and not enough romance.

Sally: My life is a little too much imagination and not nearly enough dragons.

.

Frank: Fuck capitalism. It's a rigged system that keeps us poor and it isn't fair. You shouldn't need to work three jobs to afford basic necessities.

Frank, playing Monopoly: Sorry, if you wanted to win you should have tried not being poor.

.

I did it :D

[ivymarquis]

The B.A.G. Coalition

Did I use one of my work breaks on my 14hr shift to write this? Yes, yes I did. I also took time out of my day to make sure my introduction to the COD MWII fandom was a crack!fic despite promising angst with Ghost and simping from Price. Both of which are still coming.

Tags; platonic 141 + Reader, crack fic, drinking, weaponization of barrack bunnies, dunking on Graves.

I don’t know how the military works and I don’t care to learn.

You try really, really hard to not fixate too much on the whole being a woman in the boy’s club thing because you’ll drive yourself insane if you do.

You’re good at your job, you’re not getting preferential treatment, and all is right in the world. Your team was cautious, gauging your capabilities but ultimately warming up to you and welcoming you into the fold.

A mission planned with 141 and Shadow company means that Graves is a tolerated interloper into the group.

Everyone is settled into a booth in the corner of a pub near base, a few drinks in as the night wears on. You are finally feeling settled in and like your feet are firmly underneath you and you’re no longer treading water, watching your back as the other 141 assess you.

And it’s the exact moment when Graves asks “Are you seeing anybody?” that you realize you’ve girlbossed entirely too close to the fucking sun.

The table’s reaction is immediate. Your “I beg your pardon?” is muffled by Ghost’s “Sod off, Graves,” Soap’s “She’s been fucking drinking” and Gaz shooting him a look while Price clears his throat with a pointed “Commander?”

Good to know your team has your back because what the fuck.

“Not like that,” you’re not entirely certain if he’s back peddling or being genuine, “I don’t know what it is but none of the women around this base date. It’s like pulling teeth.”

“Really?” Gaz asks. “I haven’t been having any issues.”

Your eyebrow arches, reaching for your drink as you realize there’s not enough alcohol in the world for this conversation. “Yeah no ever since the B.A.G. Coalition was formed, you’re gonna have to download Tinder or something, Commander” You speak without thinking, a look of horror dawning on you that the alcohol has loosened your lips a little too much. Well, shit.

“The what?” Graves asks incredulously.

You panic, reflex having you turn towards Price. “Please get me out of here,” you plead with him.

“Oh no can do, Sergeant.”

You cling to your glass like a buoy. “I’ve said too much,” you whisper.

“What the hell is the B.A.G. Coalition?” Graves asks again.

Taking a long draught of your drink, you steel yourself for both this conversation and the potential wrath of the bunnies now the open secret was out.

“Have you… noticed how the barrack bunnies don’t have anything to do with you?”

His eyebrows draw together. “Guess I never bothered to worry about it. Not like they’re hard to find,”

That last sentence had some teeth to it that you did not appreciate. Especially coming from a man who’s managed to piss off an entire base of them. “Hey now, I love the bunnies, you gotta be nice to them,” you admonish before remembering yourself and quickly adding a “Sir”.

The alcohol has your mind drifting away from the question at hand and going slightly to the left- still focused on the bunnies, but no longer directly leading to the coalition.

“They do important work and make my life easier when some guy is being obnoxious and won’t leave me alone,” you elaborate. “Also most of them are really nice and I don’t blame them for having a type and staying focused on it. I admire the commitment and tenacity.”

“Wait who was bothering you?” Price would hone in on that part.

“No one anymore, after I weaponized one of the bunnies and pointed her in his direction.”

“You…. Weaponized a barrack bunny?” Soap sounded out the idea, clearly having some image of a tactical assault bunny in mind.

“Yes I did. It was absolutely incredible. Poor guy never saw her coming- it was like watching a lioness take down a wounded gazelle.”

“A bunny battalion,” Gaz sighs into his drink, his pupils damn near in the shape of hearts at whatever image his brain was conjuring.

“What the fuck do barrack bunnies have to do with this coalition you’re talking about,” Graves tries to redirect the question.

Shit. Right.

Like, you get why he’s confused. From his perspective at least. Tall, blonde, conventionally attractive with a southern drawl most girls would go gaga over, not to mention the commander of Shadow Company. He should be having women chase him from all over. And here he was with no bitches and getting zero play.

And yet none of those attributes were actually indicative of him like… being a good person. Graves soured you like 3 day old sweet tea. There was something both saccharine and bitter about him all wrapped together even if you didn’t know for sure what the problem was.

“You did something to piss off the bunnies. I don’t know what and frankly I'm afraid to ask. Like, I thought maybe some supreme pick me bunny would rise from the ranks and make her move anyway but they have made a united front. It is both impressive and terrifying,” you’ve got just enough alcohol in your system that fuck it, let’s tell a superior officer a little something about himself that he clearly doesn’t know. “And the rest of us noticed. So it slowed the not-bunnies rolls too.”

There’s a beat of silence before the lightbulb clicks in Ghost’s head and he is busting out laughing. You don’t think you’ve heard him ever make that much noise even when he’s grousing out orders.

Gaz is the next one for the lightbulb to go off, verbalizing what B.A.G. stood for to a stupified Commander (and equally stunned Soap and Price).

“It’s Bunnies Against Graves!”

[stellocchia]

Some more incorrect quotes (always from the same generator) because I cannot stop thinking about the idea of Color and his Twitch chat (aka the 6 human souls). 

--

Kindness: Why do you act like we’re three-year-olds?  Integrity, exasperated: WHY?!?  Integrity points at Perseverance: YOU TRIED TO HYJACK A CAR!  Integrity points at Bravery: YOU NEARLY JUMPED 20 FEET OFF A CARPARK!  Integrity points at Kindness: AND YOU ATE MULTIPLE DRIED LEAVES AND ROCKS OFF THE GROUND!  Integrity: AND YOU ASK ME WHY????

--

Bravery: I WOULD DESTROY THE WORLD FOR YOU!  Kindness: Okay, can you do the dishes?  Bravery: No!

--

Justice: Last night I found out Perseverance is a sleep talker.  Color: Oh, really?  Justice: "The mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell." Right. In. My. Ear. At 3 am.

--

Bravery, to Perseverance: You drink too much, swear too much, and your morals are highly questionable.  Perseverance: …  Bravery: You are everything I’ve ever wanted in a best friend.

--

Color: Between Bravery, Justice, and Perseverance, there are three braincells.  Color: And Perseverance has all three of them.

--

Patience: You really believe in Justice?  Integrity: Mmm… Luckily, they believe in themself enough for both of us.

--

Justice: Wasn't iCarly that guy that girlbossed too close to the sun because he was down for Apollo?  Perseverance: ICARUS?

--

Kindness: Why are you two always out during rainstorms?  Patience: It’s so peaceful and refreshing. I love the smell of rain.  Bravery: Perseverance bet me I couldn’t get struck by lightning, but she's WRONG!

--

Perseverance: It’s Pride Month, you know what that means!  Justice: That I get to eat as many Skittles as I want?  Perseverance: What? No! What has Bravery been telling you?  Bravery, walking in, pouring Skittles into their mouth: Taste the rainbow, bitch.

--

Kindness: Imagine if someone handed you a box full of all the things you lost throughout your life.  Perseverance: It would be nice to have my sense of purpose back...  Justice: Oh wow, my childhood innocence! Thank you for finding this.  Patience: My will to live! I haven't seen this in years.  Integrity: I knew I lost that potential somewhere.  Bravery: Mental stability, my old friend!  Kindness: Man, could you guys lighten up a little?

--

This is the kinda chatter Color has to live with all the time. Also, I'm starting to genuinely form some headcanons for the various souls and their personalities so perhaps expect a post about that at some point...

[whump-or-whatever]

Defiant whumpee who copes with humour dialogue pt. 4

• • •

Caretaker: *upon rescuing Whumpee* “don’t worry, we’re gonna get you home. You’re safe now.”

Whumpee: “yeah yeah that’s great thanks. So listen, can we stop somewhere on the way back? I’d kill for some onion rings.”

• • •

Whumper: “maybe if you did as you were told I wouldn’t have to hurt you.”

Whumpee: “and if you did as you were told you’d have gone to hell by now so I guess neither of us are gonna get what we want”

• • •

Whumper: “your screams are like music to my ears”

Whumpee: “either you need your hearing checked or you’ve got shit taste in music”

• • •

Whumper: “if you tell me what I want to know I’ll let you go”

Whumpee: “trying to get rid of me so soon?”

• • •

Caretaker: *shows up to free Whumpee*

Whumpee: *to Whumper* “aww, just when we were really starting to get to know each other”

• • •

Caretaker: “Whumpee! I can’t believe we found you!”

Whumpee: “I can’t believe how long it took you. Now get me the hell out of here.”

• • •

Whumper: *walks in* “Whumpee, I’m baa-aack!”

Whumpee: “honestly, do you ever shut the fuck up?”

• • •

Whumpee: “please, just let me go.”

Whumper: “and why would I do that?”

Whumpee: “cause I’ll never tell anyone. And I could, uh… I could send you chicken strips. Yeah. I bet you like chicken strips. You seem like the kind of person.”

• • •

Whumper: “you’re not the first prisoner I’ve had. They never last long.”

Whumpee: “well, rip to them but in different.”

• • •

Whumper: *breaks whumpee’s leg*

Whumpee: “Oh no. My leg. It’s broken.”

• • •

Whumpee: *tries to overpower whumper and fails*

Whumper: “what were you thinking?”

Whumpee: “I think I girlbossed a little too close to the sun. I am now experiencing the consequences of my own hubris.”

• • •

Whumpee: “this is about to be the best plan ever”

*20 mins later*

Whumpee: “that was potentially the worst plan ever”

• • •

Whumpee: “what have you got there?”

Whumper: “… a knife?”

Whumpee: “NO!”

• • •

Whumpee: *tossing a rock around cause they’re bored*

Whumper: “what are you doing with that rock”

Whumpee: “it’s name is Robin and we’re engaged to be married so if you could show a little bit of respect that’d be great.”

• • •

Whumper: *pulls out an exacto knife*

Whumpee: “what are y’all like running low on funding or some shit? Shopping at the dollar store now? Cutting costs?”

• • •

Feel free to add!