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wish people would start sending emails when you don’t get a thing. would really appreciate a “sucks to be you kid” email right now

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op turned reblogs off but this post must live. it must live and spread malignantly .

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me when I wake up at six am for my five hour shift and my boss begs me to stay for nine hours instead

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one of my favourite linguistic phenomena/in-jokes is spanish potato chips being “ham-flavored, probably”

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“you all are great people, and what you’re doing is art, but it’s also a crime punishable by 28 days in prison” is a real sentence that got said to me tonight by a security officer i think i’m living my best life

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🍊

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quick and messy post canon meljayvik for the soul (implied spoilers??)

was this an excuse to draw viktor with longer hair? partially, yes.

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Tumblr staff: ten options is enough for polls, right? No one needs more than that on a regular basis. The average tumblr user: Hey guys which element of the periodic table do you think is the most fuckable?

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I think that if a dragon were to rot it would be like a whale fall. The event is so rare that is teems with opportunist scavengers and creates a boom in the ecosystem. The flesh is uniquely rich and saturated with raw magic that will imbue the next few generations of vultures with sharper talons and bile twice as acidic. That magical energy disperses through the food web to grant small gifts to billions of different creatures. Insects are the first to find the carcass and the last to pick its flesh. Then the plants and fungi take over when there are only bones. Apothecary shelves will be overflowing for months with unique flowers, fruits, and mushrooms. Some gardeners and brewers plant trees in the exposed ribcage.

Humans also play a role in this decay, naturally. Even quite rotten, dragon meat carries no diseases or parasites. There are delicacies made from the flesh at its most rotten state, though most prefer the fresher meat. The scales, bones, teeth, and claws are valuable to jewelers, armorers, and smiths of tools and weapons. If you're lucky, it'll be your local craftsmen who get their hands on them, and you might get a nice set of bone kitchen knives for a high but reasonable price. If you're unlucky, some company will step in to strip away all the valuables from this dead angel, and the 1% will enjoy some novelties they don't appreciate the significance of. They've never seen a dragon rot, or dug through its decaying flesh with thick gloves to stave off its acidic blood.

What remains of the bones will eventually be covered in earth and lush new life. It will become a garden, perhaps tended by the humans who remember it, or perhaps only by the birds and squirrels that scatter the seeds. Someday dragons might visit this place to rear their young on its bounty, and thank the dead for what they've given back.

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If your husband actually signs the divorce papers you gave him you might just need to start an apocalypse about it…

Divorce Era Jayvik, my beloved, my dearest…

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modern uni arcane au where they're all moderately sane and okay. anyways jayvik moment ❤

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She would have run amazing fan websites 🥺♥️

@thisweekinfandomhistory y’all would love this

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that time of year again

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guys. please

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i am an admitted summer girly but i have to say. winter food??? .... i have no arguments. divine. otherworldly. an absolute lineup of treasure. stew. mac & cheese. soups. hot cocoa. roast beast and who-hash. girl i quake. i feel like a mouse in a redwall book. fuckken rubbing my hands together with glee. my friend offered me a second snickerdoodle and my gay ass chuckled, "don't mind if i do." not a hint of fuckken irony. and you know what ???? DONT MIND IF I DO!!!!!!!!!!!

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The older generation's fixation on forcing you to have kids is something they absolutely refuse to unlearn. You can give the calmest and most reasonable explanation for not having kids and the only thing they can think to say is, "But what of the heir to the lands?" "Who will inherit the throne?" "Please sire upon your barren death there will be a parochial schism that will soak our soils with brother-blood." They literally hate to see you happy with just a cat.