#I’ve eaten them in the past and my mom likes carrots

[octocurse]

people experiencing a delusion can still be skeptical or partially aware that what they believe isn’t accurate / isn’t true

[boonki]

something there, something more

a little continuation of a fever prompt, the first part here and the second part by @sonderwalker here! from this prompt list 

Cheers to our pining boys stuck together in the snow

______

The email he had been anxiously awaiting for dings his phone, and in the early morning light of his room, only a single lamp to illuminate the intimate space, he rolls over in bed to fumble it from the nightstand, blinking at the bright screen. 

To the University of Washington community, 

For the safety of our students and staff, classes have been cancelled for the day due to the snow conditions and road closures. Please wait for updates from your teachers on how best to proceed with assignments and exams. Updates on future cancellations will be issued nightly no later than 7 pm. Best, 

President Palpatine 

The same giddy relief that once met him as a college student still worms its way into his heart as a professor, an unexpected day off, no plans ahead of him, just hours and hours of free time. Except, he supposes, a quick email out to his students to continue their essays as normal and wait for the update on Friday’s class. He isn’t sad about losing the day’s lesson plan, it had mostly been a filler class. 

He hums lazily, a sleepy grin pulling his lips back. 

For the first time in weeks, he clicks the lock button and rolls over, stuffing his face into his pillow, and falls back asleep. 

___

Hours later, the sun already cresting in the sky, hidden behind layers and layers of clouds shedding snow, he pads around his kitchen, pulling ingredients out of his fridge and pantry: carrots, chicken, celery, chicken broth, some garlic, an onion, and some noodles. 

When he was younger, his mom had always whipped together chicken noodle soup on the colder days, and when she passed away when he was a teenager, he kept the tradition alive. In the silent, airy space of the kitchen, he feels closer to her cutting up the ingredients and carefully dropping them into the pot, can feel her gentle hand guiding him. The ache of her death has long since passed, but Obi-wan can’t help but wish she were here with him, oiling the stove for the chicken and passing him the garlic to press. 

Somehow, in the many, many years since her death, the habit of cooking for two hasn’t left him; every time he makes this recipe, he ends up with days worth of leftovers. 

The wood floor is cold beneath his bare feet; he didn’t think to put warm clothing on before coming downstairs, head still foggy from sleeping past noon. He knows his hair is sticking out in every direction, and that he could probably use a quick beard trim, but there isn’t anyone to judge him here. No pets, no roommates, just him and his big empty house. 

The smell of the soup bubbles up at him: rich and inviting. He takes a spoon and sips on the broth, using his teeth to grab a very hot carrot that mashes easily in his mouth, a good sign that he can turn the heat down to let it simmer while he gets ready for the day. Some small part of him knows his destination, but the majority of him is still in denial. He has so much soup to share, though. Why let it go to waste? Besides, it’ll be a quick drop off so he can come home and finish the blanket he’s knitting, maybe read a few chapters of his library books. There’s something about an expected day off that makes the mundane feel enthralling. 

He pads back upstairs, lost in thought as he goes through the motions of pulling a sturdy wool sweater over his head, brushing his teeth, combing his hair back, ignoring the shoddy state of his beard. Anakin had looked so horrible the other day, all pale skin and hollowed out eyes, his voice catching on itself, and god, his cough. Worry pangs Obi-wan’s heart, did Anakin have anyone to take care of him? Make sure he doesn’t die of a fever? He can’t go out in this weather to get take-out, and there’s no way he would be cooking with the state he’s in. 

In the back of his head, Obi-wan knows there are very large excuses he’s making for the car crash of the truth: he wants to go see Anakin. 

When he gets back downstairs, the soup is perfect. His mom would be proud. 

___

Snow cakes the road ahead of him, and what should have been a ten minute drive turns into a forty minute one. Obi-wan thinks he has at least six different knots in his back and neck from sitting so close to the steering wheel the entire time, peering intently through the fast-paced windshield wipers as if the effort of looking harder would have any effect on his ability to see in front of him. When he finally pulls up in front of Anakin’s apartment building and finds a neat little spot to back his car into, he lets out a deep breath and slumps into his seat. Maybe this was not as good of an idea as he had hoped it would be. 

He hadn’t even texted. Should he text Anakin? Is showing up at his door, soup in hand, too much? Too forward? Obi-wan is already anxious about pushing the bounds of their relationship too far; what if Anakin thought he was trying to groom him, thought he was a creepy old man with nothing better to do?

Obi-wan hits his head against the steering wheel. 

The weird thing is, he doesn’t mind how inappropriate their relationship had become. Obi-wan had liked coming to his building, liked texting him about casual plans. He just worries his enthusiasm is one-sided. 

It’s been so long since he’s had anything resembling a relationship, so he feels brand new to it again; it’s like riding a bike: the skill will never leave you, but if you take a ten year gap, you might need to wobble a bit before you glide. Obi-wan is wobbling. 

Because he does have a crush, doesn’t he? Isn’t that why he’s here, sitting in his cooling car with homemade soup, outside of some boy’s apartment building? Why else would he go to such measures- especially on his day off? God, he feels so juvenile. 

He hits his head on the steering wheel again. 

The cold is starting to seep through the seams of the car, so he takes a deep breath, grabs his soup, and steps out into the snow. It crunches underneath his boots, leaving a trail of footprints all the way to the door of the building, which swings open easily for Obi-wan. 

He fishes his phone out of his pocket. Anakin had texted which one he lived in, but it had felt too… like too much, last time he came. He hadn’t wanted to intrude on Anakin’s personal space.

#344. 

The elevator ride is both too short and too fast, his anxiety rising with each floor. What if Anakin didn’t like chicken noodle soup? He definitely should’ve texted. But the doors glide open and the wide expanse of the hall looms in front of him, stretching for what seems like forever in both directions. The floorplan seems to be circular; a little guide that reads “301-322 left, 323-344 right” with arrows points him in the right direction, so he sets off to the right, each step waking up a new butterfly in his stomach. 

When he reaches 344, he stares at the door for a moment, considering the fact that Anakin is on the other side of the thin wall, completely unaware of Obi-wan. Something yanks at him to turn back, but Obi-wan would feel even more pathetic if he went home with a full bowl of soup, and Anakin does probably need it, so. Here goes nothing. 

The bell ding-dongs from the interior, the sound muffled. Obi-wan hears nothing, and then slow footsteps and a lock being unlatched. 

Anakin is wearing his sweater. 

“Obi-w- Professor Kenobi, hey,” Anakin rasps out, eyes wide open, clearly startled, and sounding a bit better than he had a few days ago, but not by much. His bangs are held back by a little clip, shooting a tuft of hair straight into the air. “Sorry if I missed your text, I’ve been asleep-” 

“Ah,” Obi-wan shuffles in place, embarrassed. “I didn’t text, which I realize now that I should have, but-”

“No,” Anakin cuts in, “that’s okay.” 

They stand there in awkward silence before Anakin points at the bowl Obi-wan is clutching to his chest. 

“You brought soup?” 

Obi-wan looks down to the container like he’s never seen it before, cheeks burning like lava. “Yes! I, well, you see my mother and I always made soup when it snowed, and I always make extra, so I thought you’d, well,” he chances a peek at Anakin, whose features are slackened in a soft smile, “I thought you could use some given that you’re sick and it’s snowing.” 

“Have you eaten yet?” Anakin asks, ignoring his bumbling explanation. 

“No,” he thinks back, “I didn’t get the chance.”

Anakin drags his door open and steps back, gesturing for Obi-wan to come inside. “Let’s share, then.” 

Obi-wan balks at the open door, because he knows once he crosses that threshold there is no going back between them. He’d have officially been in Anakin’s apartment, sharing homemade soup with Anakin, taking care of him while he’s sick. The intimacy of seeing how someone lives, to see all the details of their existence on display, who they are when no one else is around… that sort of intimacy frightens Obi-wan. 

“I don’t want to be an imposition,” he starts, only to get cut off by a particularly nasty sneeze from Anakin. “Bless you.”

“You’re not, so come on.” Anakin reaches forward and tugs on his arm, and really, Obi-wan has no choice. 

While he had never actively imagined Anakin’s living space, he had always assumed it would be something akin to a sparse bachelor pad, dirty and meant for college students who couldn’t afford any better. But this is a pleasant surprise: a black rug and couch sits neatly against the wall of a tidy and cozy living room, branching off to a kitchen and a door Obi-wan assumes is Anakin’s bedroom. There are a few mirrors behind the couch, and a few (fake?) plants spotted around the room, even a candle on the coffee table. 

Anakin leads him into the kitchen and Obi-wan sees now this is where the mess lies; computer parts, nuts, bolts, tools, and loose wires scatter the counter, leaving little room for anything else save the sink and a hand towel. He stands there and waits for Anakin to clear a space for the bowl, muttering about how he didn’t know company would be over otherwise he would’ve picked up a little. 

Obi-wan doesn’t know if he even wants to ask what Anakin is making. 

The bowl is transferred into the microwave, cooking for a few minutes on low to properly reheat, and Obi-wan sets out to find some spoons so he’s not left in awkward, still silence. 

“Sorry there’s no table, I never really have anyone over and it takes up so much space, so,” Anakin is blushing, either embarrassed to have someone over or still running a fever. Maybe a bit of both. “Oh, here, in that drawer,” he motions to Obi-wan, crowding into his space to pull open the drawer. Obi-wan stiffens at their proximity; he can feel the heat pouring off of Anakin, and he grips the spoons like his life depends on it. 

They perch by the counter, listening to the hum of the microwave. 

“What are you doing during winter break?” Anakin asks him, breaking the quiet. 

Obi-wan breaths in, thinking of his answer. “I’m not sure, probably just relax. Maybe work on my library books, plan for winter quarter.” 

Anakin scoffs, and it turns into a full blown hacking spree. When he’s done, he winces. “Sorry, your plans are so sad my whole body freaked out.” 

He snorts. “My plans aren’t sad. What are you doing, then?” 

“Well, now that I’ve graduated, I suppose I should be looking for a job, so probably that.” Anakin stares up at the soup rotating in the microwave in contemplation. 

Something small and sad tugs at Obi-wan’s heart. He had forgotten that Anakin wouldn’t be around anymore. No more impromptu office visits. 

“But,” Anakin continues, “it would be nice to have help with my resume and interviewing.” He glances at Obi-wan out of the corner of his eyes. 

The microwave beeps: the soup is finished reheating. 

“Of course, I’d be happy to help.” Obi-wan says, warmth flooding his tone. He’s grateful that Anakin still wants him in his life, still wants his help. 

Anakin sniffles and splits the soup into two bowls, handing one to Obi-wan, who is still holding both their spoons. 

“You wanna watch something? We can sit on the couch.” Anakin says, and motions for Obi-wan to follow. Obi-wan tentatively settles into the couch, which is surprisingly cushy, as Anakin flips open Netflix and pulls up The Great British Baking Show. 

“Is this okay? It’s kind of addictive.” Anakin looks suddenly self-conscious about his choice in television, grabbing a set of glasses from his coffee table. They are way too big for him and nearly slide down his nose in seconds. Obi-wan might combust. 

“I didn’t know you wore glasses.” 

Anakin shifts. “Only to see long distances, I mostly just use them for watching things.” 

Obi-wan nods at that, and throws a hand up in the air towards the TV screen. “This is fine, I like cooking shows.” 

“They’re definitely my guilty pleasure, I’ve always wished I was better at cooking.” Anakin blows on the soup on his spoon, eyes glued to the TV.

The hosts introduce the challenge, and Obi-wan looks down at his soup, stirring it all absentmindedly. “I can teach you, if you want. My mom passed a lot onto me before she, well.” Obi-wan smiles at him. “I’d like to think I’m a pretty good cook.” 

Anakin pushes his glasses back on his face. “If the soup is anything to go by, I believe you.” 

He chuckles, shifting his attention back to the TV. Helping Anakin find a job, teaching him how to cook- they’re both just trying to find excuses to stay in each other’s lives. It’d be endearing if it weren’t so sad. 

The episode drags out, a winner is named and someone gets sent home, and Anakin and Obi-wan are long finished with their soup, the bowls having been discarded onto the coffee table a while ago. When the credits roll, neither of them get up, and the next episode autoplays. Obi-wan hopes he isn’t overstaying his visit, but Anakin seems comfortable and relaxed. Anakin offers him a blanket, and Obi-wan drapes it over his lower body, slouching further into the couch. 

Over the next few hour long episodes, they seem to inch closer, fully lounging now. Jokes are made, laughter is shared, and Obi-wan keeps handing him tissues, grateful that he isn’t wiping his snot on the sweater’s sleeve. 

He still can’t believe he’s sitting here on Anakin’s couch, watching a cooking show, while Anakin sits next to him wearing one of his sweaters. 

Maybe he is the one with a delirious fever? 

The fourth episode draws to a close, and Obi-wan spares a glance at one of the windows, where the afternoon had faded into evening. “I still don’t think she should have won, did you see the state of her frosting?” He stands up and stretches, sighing in relief when a few of his bones pop, laughing when Anakin’s do the same. “I should probably get going, though, it’s getting dark.” 

But when the pair make it to the window, they are greeted by glistening white, snow almost completely covering the cars parked outside. There’s no way he can drive home in this, and they both know it. The air seems to thicken between them. 

“Hey, you can crash on the couch and drive home once the snowplow has been through?” Anakin, though standing right next to him, seems miles away, his tone small and unsure. 

“Surely not, you’ve already let me stay long as it is. I’ll…” he trails off, thinking. 

“What, walk home?” Anakin supplies, shaking his head. “Absolutely not, you can stay. I don’t mind,” he places a hand on Obi-wan’s arm, “really.” 

“You’re right, I don’t have much of a choice.” Obi-wan laughs under his breath. Still, if he did have the choice, he’d want to stay. Not that he’d ever admit that to Anakin. 

Anakin takes the few steps back to the couch, grabbing a blanket and wrapping it around himself like a cape. “Well, should we finish the season then?” 

_____

It’s midnight by the time the pair are too tired to stay awake, drifting off into separate spaces. 

“Can I borrow something to sleep in?” Obi-wan asks Anakin, who is standing in the doorway to his room. From what Obi-wan can see, it looks a lot like the living room, all blacks and soft fabrics. 

Anakin’s eyes widen. “Uh, yes. Hold on.” He disappears into his room and comes back with a blue flannel pajama set. “Here, the bathroom is just across the kitchen.” 

Obi-wan takes the little pile of clothing from him with a soft thanks and retreats to the bathroom to change. The pants are entirely too long on him, and the shirt hangs on him, clearly meant for someone who has a little broader shoulders. But the set smells like Anakin, and Obi-wan wants to breathe it in forever. 

When he comes out, Anakin bites back a smile, holding his lower lip between his teeth. He doesn’t say anything though, and Obi-wan is both disappointed and relieved. 

“So there’s a bunch of blankets on the couch for you, let me know if you need anything else.” He says, backing into his room. 

Obi-wan clears his throat. “Of course. Goodnight, Anakin.” 

Anakin dips his head and closes his door. “Goodnight.”

In the dark of the living room, Obi-wan shakes the blankets out so they lay flat over the couch, and slips his legs under them to get comfortable, laying on back to stare at the ceiling. 

What a day. 

If someone had told him this was what his snow day would’ve looked like, he would’ve laughed in their face. Just under two weeks ago, they had been huddled together in his office, working on Anakin’s paper like normal. And now, he’s spending the night at Anakin’s apartment. And while Anakin technically isn’t a student anymore, and certainly not his student any more by a long shot, there’s still a sticky and uncomfortable unease sitting in his gut; he doesn’t know how old Anakin is, but Obi-wan is surely much older than him. Plus, he doesn’t know if there’s a power play at hand, what if Anakin just thinks he’s being a creepy old man and feels obligated to let him stay? 

But he thinks about the way Anakin’s flashed with happiness when Obi-wan laughed at one of his jokes during the show, the way they inched towards each other, Anakin’s face when Obi-wan came out of the bathroom in his pajamas. 

Needless to say, Obi-wan doesn’t get much sleep. Instead, he thinks about the fact that Anakin is also lying down, just a thin apartment wall in between them, and watches the large snowflakes drift down in silent waves outside. 

Obi-wan wonders if Anakin is sleeping in his sweater. He hopes he is. 

[blurglesmurfklaine]

can we see your dogs and cats?🥺

ABSO FUCKING LUTELY!!!

I don’t have any pictures of him anymore (but I’m sure my mom does) but we had a Rottweiler named Buddy who we had for nearly 10 years until he passed away back in 2012 and he is just like. THE dog, ya know? He was just so special and we loved him so much and he loved us so much and he has such a special place in our family <333

The next two have also passed away but they were all such a close part of our family that it feels wrong not to mention them and they overlapped with one dog we still have now.

This was Ladybug!

She passed away back in 2014, and she was originally the neighbors puppy (and Buddy’s daughter. He was a hoe) but she came over one day and never left?? and the neighbors saw her refusing to leave our yard and stuff but??? would just wave?

She was so sweet and nice to literally everyone, the sweetest dog ever, only wanted love and pets (and she received plenty)! Gave us 8 amazing years 💞

This was Flower

She passed away august of 2018 from cancer, but we had her for 11 great years and she was very dumb and aggressive but loved us so so much I miss her 🥺💞

This is Bowser

He is Flower’s son, and part Great Dane (we think??? Our dogs escaped sometimes and would raise hell). He grew up with Buddy, Flower, and Ladybug, so at one point we had four dogs, all of them at least partially Rottweiler lol. Bowser is 10 going on 11 this year and is just a big ole grump at this point. He used to literally be able to jump our six foot kennel but now just roams the back yard looking like a giant sausage because my grandma refuses to stop feeding him left overs. He loves belly rubs more than he loves me I’m sure of it

This is Love

On the left is when we got her about a year ago (she was my little quarantine buddy) and the right is her now. She hasn’t seen me much since I moved to San Antonio but she still recognizes me and is an absolute fucking maniac and cannot stop jumping on me long enough to pet bowser. Loses points because I had to watch her eat a bird whole and it was really traumatizing. Ridiculously annoying but god is she so fucking cute??

This is Duke

My brother moved to San Antonio when my nephew was born a few years ago, and I moved to SA this past summer. I live with my brother and Duke got there the day after me lol. He was born off the side of a highway and adopted from a farm run by a lesbian couple that fosters up to 20 dogs at a time. He loves carrots and will chew on quite literally anything he can get his paws on. He turns 1 on the 28th!

Last but not least, this is the absolute light of my life, Apollo

A stray had given birth underneath a friend’s house in college, and she was trying to find good homes for the kittens. I did not go to college in my home town, and after my mom let me know she in no way would let me have a cat, I adopted Apollo anyway.

He is a big boy who refuses to eat any human food with the exception of canned tuna and pasta. I do not feed him pasta, but my little sister has left her macaroni, spaghetti, fettuccini, etc. unattended at the table and has returned to it being eaten by him. I don’t know why he loves pasta, but he does. And like I said it’s the only human food he’ll eat???

He loves to cuddle and randomly bite me and will absolutely abandon me for even the chance of treats. Not very bright, but full of love and a hint of arrogance and I would lay down my life for him

My brother is severely allergic to cats tho, so for the time being he lives in my hometown with my parents and grandma and I really miss him. I’ve had him since he was about 8 weeks old, and he turns 5 this September!

Thank you so much for this ask! 🥺 I had so much fun making this and it made me appreciate my pets even more

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #361

“the world is a vampire, sent to drain”

Have you ever been through a phase of thinking emo guys were hot? A phase? Hunny, they're still hot lmao. Have you ever dated someone that could play an instrument? Yeah. Juan could play guitar, and Girt played I think the tuba in band. What’s so horrible about wearing leggings like pants? I've actually never understood why people freak about this. Like so long as they're not sheer and fit you fine, why exactly is this a problem...? Weirdest picture you’ve ever taken of yourself? Oh dear. When someone claims to be suicidal, do you take them seriously? FUCK you if you don't. Honest to god, fuck you. This is NOT something you just don't even blink at. Even if it's surprising to hear from that person, you take that shit seriously and try to talk to them about it. Ever been kicked out of anywhere? Colleen's house. Ever had Skittles vodka? No, but that shit sounds good. Ever punched someone in the face? No. If you haven’t, do you want to now? Uh, I'll pass. Do you truly HATE anyone? No one I know personally, but people like rapists, pedophiles, etc., I sure as hell do hate them. Most historical/famous landmark/building you’ve been to in your country? No clue. Favorite flavor for most things? Strawberry, watermelon, or blue raspberry, depending on what the thing is. Ever taken pictures in a photobooth? Who with? Yeah: Summer, Jason, and I'm pretty sure Sara and I did? What is the closest book to you? It's a full collection of Poe's poetry that Mom got me. Are you reading it or someone else? I'm not right now. I may eventually. Milkshakes or Sundaes? Hm, I gotta go with milkshakes. Do you like watermelons more or cherries? I'm not a fan of either, but I'd definitely pick watermelons over cherries. Who was the last person you ate with? My family and I went to Ichiban (a Japanese steakhouse that we have here where they cook directly in front of you) yesterday to celebrate Nicole's graduation. Do you prefer broccoli or asparagus? Broccoli. I hate asparagus. Do you have any bug bites? No. Do you have any flowers in your room? No. Do you know anyone that owns horses? Loosely, anyway. It's a family I took pictures for, and I still have the mother on Facebook. When you were little, did you ever go to feed the ducks? Yes, I LOVED doing that. Don't feed ducks bread, by the way. Have you seen any of the seven wonders of the world in person? No. Have you ever won anything out of one of those crane machines? Yeah. Can you remember being taught how to ride a bike? Was it hard for you? Yeah. I don't THINK it was too hard. Did you get carded the last time you ordered an alcoholic drink? No. Do you know anyone who uses medical marijuana? No, it's not legal here. Do you know anyone who’s died in childbirth? No. Which was the worst phase in your life? 2016 was. Towards the end of '15 was the breakup, and through aaaaaaall of 2016, I was just dead inside and totally useless. Every day I wanted to be dead. Can you remember your last dream? I had a nightmare some stupid kids were fucking with my snake Venus, so I was trying to protect her. Do you ever use Snapchat? No, I don't have one. What’s your favorite musical? I don't like musicals. What happened at the last party you went to? Summer prepared some little Halloween treat bags for us guests, we watched a horror movie, and everyone but me smoked some weed. Are you more comfortable sitting or lying down? I would assume everyone is more comfortable lying down... Have you ever been a fan of N*Sync? Yeah, as a kiddo. Favorite kind of cake: Red velvet, yum yum. What is your middle name? Marie. TV shows and anime you watch regularly: None. Do you want to have a big family in the future? Just a big family of pets with a spouse. What was the last thing you did that gave you a rush? Oh boy, I couldn't tell ya. Is Vegas one of your must-see places? No. Pet rat: yay or nay? YAY!! I've had many, but I don't think I'll get any more. I've just had bad luck with them, save for one that died of cancer at an old age. Would you call yourself a writer? Written any stories lately? Yeah. I haven't really written any big RP posts of the late, but I did recently write a poem. Are needles something that you’re afraid of? Okay, so this is super weird. Tattoos and piercings? No problem. Little prick, getting blood drawn, that sorta little stuff, no problem. I am, however, NOT a fan of big needles, which used to not be an issue. It's actually kinda recent, and it's why I'm nervous about my second Covid shot coming up, aha... What was the last unexpected hug you gave/received? I really haven't had an unexpected hug since Jason asked for one before he left my house after our final talk. Who was the last person you held hands with? Either my niece or nephew. Have you ever been in a parade before? If so, was it on TV? No. Do you have a fear of rollercoasters? If so, were you ever forced to go on one? If you don’t, what is your favorite rollercoaster? I have a big fear of them, yeah. Post a picture of you from a recent time. Don't feel like it. Who was the last person to give you some of their food? Miss Tobey let me try one of her dumplings yesterday when we were at Ichiban for dinner. The last person you met, what was your first impression of them? I actually didn't quite like her. Have you ever been to a football game? Yeah, because my sister was a cheerleader. Do you like the snow or rain better? Snowwww. Have you ever faked sick? Yeah. What is your blood-type? A-. Have you ever eaten a bug? Not knowingly. The last time you were in the fridge, what were you looking for? Salsa. Mom got these veggie chips at the store and they apparently taste better with salsa, which it did. They weren't great, though. Are you listening to anything at the moment? It's Gab Smolders' turn for me to watch her Resident Evil 8 upload, haha. I'm literally watching three different people (Mark, John Wolfe, and her) play it. Can you take a bra off with one hand? I haven't tried, I think? I doubt I could, given that I'm not exactly small. Do you have an innie or an outie bellybutton? Innie. Can you crack your neck? NOOOOO AND DO NOT DO IT AROUND ME YOURSELF. Are you donating your organs? Yeah; what am I gonna use 'em for? It just seems like a waste otherwise. They're just gonna decay. When was the last time you talked to you mom? Before she left with Tobey to go to the store. Do you like pumpkin pie? NO. I don't like pie, and I hate pumpkin. Do you own your own computer? Yeah. Did you ever have to share a room with one of your siblings? Yeah; growing up, my little sister and I did. Is there any piece of technology you want to buy? I REALLY want a PS4. Did you ever have a night light when you were a kid? Yeah. What TV show had you hooked from the very first episode? Meerkat Manor, 100%. I had to know that Shakespeare was okay. What is your least favorite Sour Patch Kids color? Orange or red, can't pick. Have you ever seen the movie Matilda? YES! I love that movie. What is the weirdest chant you have ever heard? Uh, idk. How are you feeling? Annoyed and hurt as fuck because shit Miss Tobey says without thinking for a single goddamn second. I'm honestly beyond sick of this woman. Do you know anyone with a unibrow? I don't think so. Doughy or saucy pizza? Doughy. Do you have anything that’s limited edition? Yeah. Do you have an air freshener in your bathroom? If so, what scent? I... think we do? If so though, I just don't notice it. The bathroom doesn't smell like anything in particular. Do you like Jalapeno Cheetos? Oh man, I forgot about those! Love 'em. Are you a fan of salads? Yeah, they're fine. I have to be in the mood for one, though. What’s one random thing that you don’t like? Uhhh carrots. What’s one random thing that you like? Shrimp. Do you like chicken noodle soup? I don't. Is it easy for you to accept loss? NOPE. I'm the absolute worst with it. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go? I really wanna see Sara, so take me to Illinois. Do you know anyone with the same birthday as you? No, but a former best friend had her birthday the day before mine. Is there someone you just can’t imagine your life without? Not anymore, honestly. After Jason, I stopped that "I can't live without you" mindset. Truth is I'm going to lose people through life, and I'm not attaching my ability to happily exist to anyone. Are you wearing a ring? Two. Have your friends ever stopped by your house just to say hi? In the past, yeah. Do you like Chinese food? Not really. I only ever get pork fried rice and eggrolls from Chinese restaurants. Have you done any shopping for something in specific recently? No. Do you still live in your hometown? No. What was the reason behind the last time you stayed up all night? I don't recall, honestly. I haven't done that in a very long time. Have you ever had a UFO sighting or a sighting of strange lights in the sky? A very strange light, yes. Have you ever seen your mom or dad drunk? Yes to both. Seeing Mom drunk is very, very rare though. My dad was an alcoholic when I was growing up, so I saw him drunk plenty. Do your parents vote? Mom does, idk about Dad. Who’s the most romantic person you ever went out with? Jason. What restaurant has the best fries? Nowhere has anything on Bojangle's, y'all. Have you ever had a surprise party thrown for you? No.

[antpernas]

11/26/20

ARGH!! Another day of getting up and just going right back to sleep!!

I woke up at 8:00 and didn’t manage to move myself out of bed until 10:30. My mom wanted me to be her chauffer to deliver a medicine with her before we had guests over to start cooking for turkey day dinner. Begrudgingly, I got out of bed to shower and get ready.

The drive itself was uneventful, we stopped at the pharmacy to get the medicine, then went out to the house to drop it off. She thought there was going to be a second medicine, but that person ended up not being home and still having more of their current refill left, so she just decided to take it another day. On the drive, I just listened to a bunch of podcasts while she was on her phone. All in all, we were probably on the road for an hour and a half or so.

Right after we got home, our guests (some family friends) got there as well! We chatted for a little bit before I decided that there was enough time for me to go try out my kayak. So, at about 1:30, I took my car to get a wash, then got back home to strap on my kayak and head to the inlet to get on the water. I ended up getting there between 3:00 and 3:30!

Kayaking itself was SOOOO much fun! The first thing I noticed was that the water was WAY more shallow than I was expecting in the spot I went to kayak. There’s a huge boardwalk that stretches across this part of the inlet, and the clearing of water itself is super wide, but at its most shallow it was only about two feet, and at the deepest part I got to it was maybe four or five. Still, though super fun! I saw a bunch of egrets, jumping fish, some eagles, a TURTLE!!! I also saw driftwood multiple times, and every single time, without fail, I thought it was an alligator. It was also really cool to learn the geography/layout of the body of water and the mangrove patches! I thought it was just like one big lake, but it’s more like two figure eights attached to each other by the ends! And each clearing looks like it’s the last one until you get to the end and turn the corner around the mangroves hiding the rest of the water. I took a bunch of selfies, went on live on Instagram for a little bit, facetimed some people, it was super fun! I also saw some people fishing off the bridge that the cars use (meaning that they just stopped on the road/side of the road and started fishing off of it), which was kind of funny and also kind of cool!

While I was getting out of the water, there was a guy trying to get on the water in an inflatable raft. He was trying to convince his (or, what I assume was his) girlfriend/wife to get on with her, but she was resoundingly against the idea. Sidebar: she was also holding a dog! I chatted with them while I was getting out, she was super funny. She was telling me about how she didn’t want to get in because she (and she joked that probably the dog as well) didn’t know how to swim. The entire time I was packing up my kayak on my car, they were still going back and forth at the launch. He was determined, but she was resound. And the dog? Indifferent, probably.

I started heading home around 5:30, and got there at 6:00. I took a quick shower and got dressed for the dinner, which was absolutely delicious!!! There was squash spaghetti, mashed sweet potato with melted marshmallows and pecans, a sort of carrot deep dish thing, sweet ham, mashed potatoes with bacon, and of course, turkey! It was soooo good and I was stuffed by the end of it. 

After I ate, I started playing some video games and texting some friends, as well as one of my crushes. I had asked him earlier if he had eaten, since I knew he didn’t have family out here and today’s Thanksgiving. When he told me he hadn’t I offered to fix him a plate and drive up to give it to him. He was a little reluctant at first, but I assured him that I didn’t mind the hour drive and that it would be nice to finally meet him! After I finally beat the level of Hyrule Warriors I’ve been stuck on for the past two days (WHICH WAS SUCH A PROUD MOMENT FOR ME), I went and took down my kayak from my car, brushed my teeth, and started the drive up! I think I left at 9:25.

The drive up was pretty uneventful, but I do love driving north from where I live because there’s so much less development. When I got there, he came outside and let me just sayyy I was not prepared for him to be more attractive in person than in his photos. We drove around for a bit and I talked his ear off the whole time! I think we were together for about an hour before I dropped him back off with his food and started heading out. I got home around 12:30, texted him that I made it safe, and then started writing my diaries. I’m going to play some more Hyrule Warriors for a little bit, then head to bed.

Be safe, I love you, good night!!

[bitchardhendricks]

Well I’ve Never Been to Heaven (But I’ve Been to Oklahoma) Pt 5

Catch up on parts 1, 2, 3, and 4. Tell me what you think. Tell me Richard’s not the only one who has complicated feelings about home and what it means.

***

They finish dinner, Diane chattering about the goings on in the neighborhood, gossiping about Richard’s old classmates, and positively lighting up when she tells them Richard’s sister, Caitlyn, is taking the afternoon off and driving to Tulsa tomorrow from Oklahoma City, so she will arrive in the afternoon in time for family dinner at Brothers Houligan, Caitlyn’s favorite. 

Throughout this endless stream of words, Richard watches Jared hanging on every syllable. He’s eaten every last one of his carrots and potatoes, moving his roast into a neat pile on the side of his plate, and he laughs at all the right places, asks all the right questions that cause Richard’s mom to clap her hands in delight and coo over what a sweet boy he is. Richard mostly stays silent, staring down at his plate, thankful for someone who can finally play the role of the son his parents always wanted. 

It’s an unfair thought and he knows it, but seeing his parents so delighted feels like a weight has been lifted. If coming home were always like this, it would be so much easier. And Jared, god, Jared’s like a completely different person, all easygoing and unburdened...he looks good. Lighter, somehow. Maybe that’s just the consequence of having people around who notice him, ask about his life - fuck, Richard never asks him anything. Not unless it’s related to Pied Piper. All of their personal crap has been shoved out of the way because of Gavin fucking Belson and his fucking lawsuit and the monumental stress and anxiety and lack of sleep and like, defcon five-level emergency his life has been at for the past year. He shovels pot roast into his mouth and vows that when they get back to Palo Alto, he’ll do better, be better. Because it’s...nice. Nice to see Jared smile like this, to see him in his natural element among nice, normal people instead of their little band of freaks back at the incubator. 

A yellow, ugly bruise of a thought crosses his mind, and Richard bats it away as best he can but it lingers - in this moment, he wishes he could transfer his parents who care too much over to Jared, who's been cared for so little.

***

After dinner, they move to the living room to sit on the huge overstuffed sofa and watch recorded episodes of Jeopardy! that Steven had saved for Richard’s visit. It’s one of the few activities Richard and his dad can agree on, and for an hour or so, Richard is able to relax a little. There’s a category about North American birds that Jared sweeps, and he shoots a sunny, bashful smile at Richard when he gets the last one right. For the first time in months, the knot in Richard’s stomach begins to unclench.

But then Steven bids them goodnight and heads down the hall to get ready for bed, and Diane starts talking and the knot gets tighter, and Richard grinds his teeth until his jaw aches. It’s just - she never stops talking, even when she’s physically exhausted. “You boys must be tired after such a long day,” she says with a yawn, but she’s still stubbornly trying to stay up and get Richard to talk about his life, every question like lemon juice on a papercut. 

(“How are uh, oh the two that bicker all the time like old marrieds, you know--”

“Dinesh and Gilfoyle? Oh those two! Such fun. They fight, but I think they really cherish each other,” Jared supplies with a wistful smile.

“And Nelson? I mean, I talk to his mama, but I do worry about that boy. Such a sweetheart, but I swear he doesn’t have the sense the good lord gave a goose.”

“Big Head’s fine, mom. He’s great, actually, he’s got a boat. And a guy. For the boat, a boat guy, I mean, I guess you gotta have one if you...have a boat.”

“Oh! Well, that’s good. Good.”

She smiles, hopeful, tinged with expectation, always wanting more from him, always wanting something he just can’t seem to give her. 

When she gives up and launches into a story about Miss Louise down the street, whom Richard hasn’t talked to since he was 17, the familiar mix of relief and annoyance he feels is almost comforting.)

“I know it’s late, Mom, you wanna go watch Fallon with Dad.” 

A guilty look steals across her face as she protests, “No, I didn’t mean that! I just wanted to make sure y’all had what you needed. I already put fresh towels in your room, Richie, but let me just go fetch some for you, Jared, and I’ll put them in the guest room.” 

“Oh uh actually I think I’m gonna stay in the guest room. It’s uh, Jared talks in his sleep, so. To not wake you up, I thought, my room is uh, further away.” 

Diane’s eyebrows raise for a moment and she looks at her son like she isn’t quite sure what to make of him. “Okay, sweetie, that’s fine,” is all she says, and makes her way down the hall.

Richard turns to Jared on the couch, “Is that ok? I mean I just thought, with the German...”

Jared places one of his huge hands over his heart with an expression that means he’s about to start composing odes or sonnets or something, and Richard cuts him off quick, “It’s not a big deal, enjoy sleeping in a sad virgin’s bedroom. I mean I was, at the - I never, well I have now, I’m not anymore, I - I’ve had sex before!”

Diane clears her throat. “Fresh towels are laid out for you - you boys need anything else?”

Jared stands up from the couch to say, “Thank you, Diane, I think we have everything we need,” to allow Richard time for his blush to fade.

She says her goodnights, then makes her way down the hallway stifling another yawn. Jared turns to Richard and the sight feels surreal, incongruous, his lanky frame plopped in the middle of his childhood home. Richard suppresses the wild urge to laugh out loud at the turn his life has taken, somehow beyond his control; he has dreams sometimes where he is driving but can’t keep his eyes open, trying in vain to steer without careening off a cliff or into oncoming traffic. But no matter how hard he tries he can’t see, so he just keeps moving forward, knuckles white around the steering wheel, trying with all his might to get...somewhere. 

“I guess we should turn in as well, don’t you think?” Jared asks and Richard looks up, blinking at him. 

“Uhhh. Yeah, I - um, I guess.” The weight of the day is hanging around his neck, the tiny swp-swp-swp of the wicker-blade ceiling fan putting him into a sort of trance. He gets up and takes their bags, dragging them down the hall while Jared stops to stare at the photos hung there. The series of Richard’s school pictures, kindergarten to junior year arranged in small circles around the big circle in the middle containing his senior picture. Those dorky glasses, his ill-fitting polo shirt with the collar askew, his hair an afro-like halo of curls around his head. That wide smile, so much easier and open than he remembered being at the time. God, when was the last time you smiled like that? he asks himself. He has no answer.

The familiar drone of the newscasters on NewsChannel 8 drift down the hall from behind his parents’ closed door. His dad always kept the volume too loud. Inexplicably, Richard is surprised by a sudden wave of nostalgia so strong it almost makes him nauseous. Fondness and grief and the urge to hide away from everything are all mixed up inside him and he turns to Jared looking for - a solution? A distraction?  But clamps his mouth shut when he realizes belatedly that Jared doesn’t know what this feels like. He doesn’t have a home to go back to. 

“Hey Jared?”

He turns from the doorway of Richard’s old bedroom, looking a bit pink around the edges. Like Richard caught him doing something scandalous. The idea of Jared doing anything scandalous amuses him - this guy fucks, his mind supplies helpfully - and it’s enough to shake him out of his funk. This has been a long, long day and he knows exactly what will make him feel better. 

“It’s only 9:30 in Palo Alto. You wanna go somewhere?”

[treya-barton]

4. cooking together for the fluff asks 👀🙏🏻💞 (uh with souyo obvs XD)

Yosuke realized that while he had eaten plenty of meals prepared by his partner, he hadn’t ever watched him actually prepare one before.  Yosuke and Yu were spending their first weekend in their small dorm that they were sharing, and Yu had decided to cook them dinner for the first time. Throughout the week they had used their meal plan or brought something home from the convenience store to eat since they had been so busy with class, but tonight Yu had decided to make them something to celebrate their new relationship and completing their first week of university.  

After their long train ride from Inaba and getting their dorm set up the weekend before their first day of class, Yosuke and Yu had been listening to the album that Yu had shared with him on the ride over.  In the middle of their favorite song, Yosuke had blurted out his confession, and he wasn’t sure who had been more surprised, him or Yu.  He had been planning on waiting and getting settled in before confessing his feelings to Yu, but something about the song just made it seem like the opportune moment and he had spoken before his brain had a chance to catch up with itself.  Usually that only ended in disaster for him, but this time it had worked in his favor with Yu gratefully returning his feelings.

Which brought him back to this moment.  “How do you chop so cleanly?” Yosuke asked.  “I tried helping my mom out in the kitchen a few times but my vegetables always came out looking rough.”  It was the fifth question Yosuke had asked so far as he crowded Yu in their very tiny kitchen.  They had one burner and hardly any counter space, and Yosuke was worried he may be getting in the way and annoying Yu, but he couldn’t help himself.  It was his first time seeing Yu at work making the food that Yosuke loved so much and he wanted to know more about the process. It amazed him at how efficient Yu was in the kitchen, even if he really wasn’t surprised since he had tasted the fruit of his efforts in the past.  Also, he could tell by how relaxed his partner was how much he enjoyed cooking and he felt himself drawn to the process even more; he wanted to experience the things that brought Yu joy, just as Yu had for him.

To his surprise, Yu wordlessly placed the knife in Yosuke’s hand and positioned him where he had just been standing.  He then stepped behind Yosuke, having to press close due to the lack of space in the kitchen, before placing one hand over Yosuke’s on the knife and his other over Yosuke’s free hand.  “Hold the knife like this,” Yu instructed, carefully adjusting Yosuke’s fingers until the knife rested more naturally in his hand.  Yosuke shivered slightly at the sound of Yu’s voice next to his ear and the feeling of his warm breath over his shoulder, and he couldn’t help but feel flushed over how close together they were.  He glanced at Yu and noticed that his cheeks were also tinged with pink, although he seemed very focused on showing Yosuke what to do.  Seeing that Yu was also flustered somehow helped Yosuke relax a little, and he returned his focus back to the matter at hand.

“Like this?” he asked, and Yu withdrew his hand as Yosuke showed his grip on the knife.  It was a little different from holding his kunai, but it still felt pretty natural now that he knew how to hold it properly.

“Perfect.  Now I want you to slice the top off of the onion, holding your fingers of your other hand bent like this and away from the knife to avoid cutting yourself,” Yu explained, using his other hand to position Yosuke’s to show him how to hold the onion.  Yosuke did so and was surprised by how easily the knife sliced through; Yu seemed to keep his sharper than the ones his mom had at home.  Yu showed Yosuke how to peel the outer layer off on the onion before walking him through how to cut it in half and how to make the cuts so he would be able to do an even dice, using the curved fingers on his free hand to keep the knife aligned on the onion as he went.  Within minutes, Yosuke had a perfectly even diced onion, and he looked at his little pile in amazement.

“Did I really just do that?” he asked excitedly, and Yu grinned at him.  Yosuke continued to cut the rest of the vegetables with guidance from Yu as his boyfriend prepared the rice and chicken for their curry.  Yosuke watched him as he expertly diced the chicken and noted how quick and efficient he was with the knife, and he wondered how long it would take him to feel as comfortable as Yu was.

Yosuke at least knew how to use the butane burner since he had helped set up the ones at work that they used when cooking samples for customers, and Yu showed him what setting to use in order to cook the onions, peppers, and carrots so they would soften before they added the chicken.  Yosuke had fun using the wooden spoon to push the vegetables around, and he relished in the fact he was really cooking for the first time.  It was pretty fun, even if smelling the food as he worked on it was starting to make him feel hungry. Yu was peeling the potatoes and dicing them up so it wouldn’t take as long for them to soften up once they added the water. Yosuke had offered to do so, but Yu had replied that the work was tedious and could be slow and that he’d let Yosuke try his hand at it another time.  After watching Yu peel potato after potato, Yosuke couldn’t help but feel his partner had made the right choice.

“The chicken looks like it’s cooked through,” Yosuke commented, after noticing that none of the pieces looked pink anymore.  

“Time to add the water then,” Yu replied, giving Yosuke the measurements so he could pour it into their measuring cup.  He then poured in the water and brought up the heat in order to bring it to a boil. Yu added the potatoes and had Yosuke bring the temperature back down in order for it to simmer for 20 minutes.

“Now it’s time to clean up while we wait,” Yu instructed.  Yosuke put on some music for them and as Yu washed each dish that they had used to cook, Yosuke dried it and put it away.  In no time at all, they had both finished and still had some time to spare while the rice and curry cooked.  “It’s nice to have someone help me cook,” Yu mused.  “Nanako would help stir sometimes but she’s young so she could only do so much. You really did a great job – I appreciate the help.”

Yosuke beamed at the praise and put his arm around Yu’s shoulders.  “Only because I had a great teacher,” he said, shyly pressing his lips to Yu’s cheek.  Yu blushed and buried his head against Yosuke’s shoulder.

“You’re a good student,” he replied.  “You catch on pretty quick.”  His hand clutched at the collar of Yosuke’s shirt, and Yosuke couldn’t help but find it cute that his normally confident partner was acting so shy.  They had so far been moving pretty slow, since they were still getting used to the idea of being a couple, which in retrospect had made Yu’s move earlier where he was practically hugging Yosuke as he showed him how to dice a pretty big step forward.  Yosuke wrapped both arms around Yu and hugged him to his chest for a moment, relishing in how good it felt to be so close to him, before Yu’s timer on his phone went off, signaling that it had been 20 minutes.

“Time to add the curry blocks,” Yu said, pulling away from Yosuke as he opened the package that was sitting out on the counter.  He handed it to Yosuke who broke apart each block and tossed it into the curry, before mixing it in until the blocks dissolved and formed the roux.  The food finally began to smell like curry, and Yosuke felt his mouth water.

“Give it about five minutes for the roux to thicken and we’ll be ready to eat,” Yu instructed.  The rice in the rice cooker dinged to let them know it was ready, and Yu moved to pull down some bowls for them to use.  He shoveled some rice into each bowl, and once five minutes had passed the curry was finally ready to go and Yosuke took the bowls in order to spoon the curry over the rice.  To his surprise, instead of taking a bite right away Yu offered his first bite to Yosuke while looking at him expectantly.  “It’s your first time making curry, right?” Yu pointed out.  “You deserve to get the first taste.”

Yosuke shyly opened his mouth and leaned forward in order to eat from Yu’s spoon, blowing for a moment to cool down the steaming curry before taking the bite.  The curry tasted delicious, and Yosuke quickly took a spoonful from his own bowl before offering it to Yu.  “Not quite as good as the stuff you make from scratch, but I can honestly say I’m pretty happy with it,” Yosuke said.  Yu grinned at him before taking his own bite, his eyes sliding closed as he chewed thoughtfully.

“This is the best curry I’ve ever had,” he said once he had savored his bite, and Yosuke blushed before poking his arm.

“We both know that’s not true,” he replied and Yu shook his head before opening his mouth again, clearly wanting Yosuke to feed him another bite. Yosuke complied, and after Yu finished eating with a satisfied sigh he gave Yosuke a thoughtful look.

“I am being honest. There’s something special about a dish someone lovingly cooks for you,” he replied.

Yosuke rubbed the back of his head before softly muttering, “Maybe that’s why your food always tastes so damn good,” which caused Yu to grin at him.

“It was always cooked with love,” he said straightforwardly, and Yosuke quickly shoved another mouthful of curry in Yu’s mouth in order to get him to stop talking.  They continued to feed each other the rest of their meal, and they each ended up eating an extra bowl which left hardly any left for lunch the next day which had been the original plan.  After putting away the pitiful amount of leftovers and cleaning up the rest of the dishes, they made their way to the couch where they cuddled up against each other, bellies full and happy after their delicious meal.

“We should do this every Saturday,” Yosuke decided.  “You teach me how to cook something new until I get good enough to do it on my own.”

“I like that idea. Although I wouldn’t mind both of us cooking together all the time,” Yu replied.

“You never know – I may want to surprise you one day,” Yosuke replied with a twinkle in his eye. Yu smiled at him before leaning forward and placing a quick, chaste kiss against Yosuke’s lips.  It was warm and tasted faintly of the curry they had just shared, and the gesture filled Yosuke’s heart with ease.  

“A home cooked meal from my partner?  Sounds good to me,” Yu agreed.  He looked excited at the idea, and Yosuke couldn’t wait until he had enough skills to make it a reality.  He wanted Yu to really know how much he appreciated him and was glad he now had something that Yu was passionate about that he could share with him.  He looked forward to what next Saturday had in store.

[rachel1987]

Part 1 of my new story is here! I’ve cross posted it on AO3 as well as FF.net if anyone is interested in reading it there too.

Guess Who’s Coming For Tea

Synopsis: The Hare is getting a visit from his mother! This means that she'll be able to meet all his friends for the first time, including his boyfriend, the Mad Hatter. But Hare's mother is pretty demanding...

Note: This is based off of Adventures in Wonderland and features implied sex acts between The Hatter and the Hare. They are adorable together and are in love. You got a problem with that? Harrumph!

It was a warm Friday in Spring when the Hatter and the Hare made their way to the Hat house from running their errands. They managed to go to the tea shop for some imported teas the Hatter had ordered, the Green Thumb Greenery to pick up plant food for the Hare’s garden, the grocery store for their weekend tea party essentials and, lastly, the mail box for their mail. Their arms were so full that Hare had to hop the fence and drop his grocery bags on the tea table before opening the gate for his partner.

“After you,” the Hare gestured his arms forward as he bowed enthusiastically, giggling to himself.

“Such a gentleman!” Hatter joked, smiling gratefully as he made his way to the table, unloading his bags on it as well. “I thought we’d never make it back home.”

All the noise made the Dormouse pop out of his teapot. “Are you two done shaking this table? You keep knocking my house of cards over.”

“Sorry, Dormouse,” Hatter said with a nod of his cap. “Won’t happen again.”

With a Queenly “Harumph…”, the Dormouse retreated to his teapot and Hatter returned his attention to Hare, who had already started unpacking the bags from the grocery store.

“Hare, let’s wait to unpack everything. We only just got home and my arms are tired.”

“Shouldn’t your feet be tired?” Hare said with a giggle, looking deep into the paper bag his arm was in. “We didn’t fly home.”

Hatter rolled his eyes, laughing as he took a seat on the table next to Hare, peeking into the bag. “What are you looking for? A little snicky snack?”

Hare pulled a single carrot out of the bag and started munching on it. It was past lunchtime but not quite teatime, so he needed a mid-afternoon snack to keep him going.

Hatter grimaced and smacked his lips at the carrot, deciding he was no longer interested. “Mail time!” He shouted suddenly, lifting his hips off the table and taking a handful of letters out of his back pocket, where he had stored them for the walk home.

“I guess we can go through our mail before we deal with the groceries,” Hare shrugged as he took a seat, putting his feet up on the table. He reached into his jacket and took out a much smaller stack of mail. “That way we can toss the junk into the paper recycling bin while we’re inside making tea.”

“How true that is,” Hatter grinned, fanning his letters out like playing cards, addresses away from him so he couldn’t see who they were from. He liked to keep his mail interesting and not knowing who they were from added to the mystery of it all.

The Hare got a Gardening catalogue, some junk mail and a letter reminding him that he still had time to enter the next Wonderland 5k race before it filled up completely. Maybe this would be the year he’d finally beat the Tortoise! His mind was working a training schedule as he munched on his carrot, returning to his gardening catalogue and flipping through the pages.

The pair were browsing through their letters when the phone on the table started to ring. Neither of them looked up from their mail, but the Hatter reached his long arms out and blindly felt around for the candlestick telephone. He had slapped a bag of oranges and some dishes onto the floor with a crash before he finally found his target.

“Hatter’s hat making services: We’ve got a cap for your cranium, a lid for your dome and a topper for your noodle. This is the Mad Hatter speaking.”

The tall man was silent for a little, nothing but the sound of the crunching of carrots coming from his neighbor. Every once in a while, the Hatter would Uh-huh and nod. After a few moments, he smiled and said, “Well, it was nice talking to you, June. Hare is right here, let me put him on.”

The Hare’s mouth fell open and the carrot clattered to the table on his magazine.

“It’s for you,” the Hatter offered, then mouthed the words “It’s your Mom.”

Hare scrambled, wiping his hands on his jacket before taking the earpiece from Hatter and speaking into the candlestick portion of the phone. “Hello?”

“Sonny!” came a loud, screechy voice from the other end, causing Hare to pull away from the phone a little. “I called your home and left a message, but I knew you’d be there with the Hatter. It’s just about snack time, did you have a little something to keep your blood sugar up?”

Hare looked down at the carrot on the table and flinched, picking it up and tossing it into the bushes. The Hatter had returned to his stack of mail and didn’t notice. He had opened a tub of ice cream and was snacking from it with a small sugar spoon he had found on the table.

“Yes, Mom, I just had a snack,” he rolled his eyes. “To what do I owe the pleasure of this call?”

“Oh, silly me! I got so excited to hear your sweet little voice that I nearly forgot to tell you why I called!” The Hare could hear her excitement as she spoke. “I’ll be making my way through Wonderland next weekend and I was hoping to stay with you a couple of days. Maybe meet some of your friends, finally meet the Hatter in my little boy’s life. I’ll be arriving by train on Friday.”

If it was possible, the Hare’s jaw dropped even lower. His stomach was filled with butterflies and his palms immediately started to sweat under his gloves. “Oh, well, yeah, sure Mom. That would be great.”

“Marvelous!” she crooned. “I left all the details on your answering machine. Oh, I’m looking forward to some good Mother son time! I just can't wait!”

“Neither can I,” Hare forced a chuckle, before trailing off.

“Well, I’ll let you get on with your day. I’ll see you on friday. And, Hare,” she paused. “Don’t let the Hatter spoil his dinner with that ice cream.”

The Hare furrowed his brow and looked at the phone, before glancing over and seeing that the Hatter had eaten a good portion from the tub of ice cream. He reached forward and put the lid on the tub, hearing the thump of Hatter’s spoon hit it repeatedly as he blindly tried to dip his spoon back in for more. He was still looking through his pile of mail and hadn’t noticed a thing.

“Okay, Mom. I won’t. See you friday.”

“Ta-ta!” she sang, and he returned the handset to the receiver.

“Hatter,” Hare muttered. “My mother is coming!”

“Hm?” Hatter finally looked up from his own pile of mail, sorting the envelopes into colored stacks now. “Well that’s nice.”

“Do you know what this means?” He looked at him, fear in his eyes.

The Hatter continued to look through his mail, not seeming to be paying attention to the Hare at all, when suddenly he gasped and threw all his letters up into the air. “I’m going to meet your mother!?” It wasn’t entirely obvious if he was excited or afraid of the prospect, but he was enthusiastic all the same.

“She’ll be coming through Wonderland in a week and wants to stay with me for a couple days. She says she’s excited to meet all my friends…” Hare rambled out. “And especially wants to meet you in person.”

“Oh, well…” Hatter blushed and brushed a bit of imaginary lint off his shoulder. “Why wouldn’t she?”

“Hatter, I don’t think you understand…” Hare looked up, shaking his head a little. “My mother is very fussy about things. She’ll expect everything to be perfect, especially from me.”

“That shouldn’t be hard, Hare,” Hatter shrugged. “You’re always perfect to me. Even when you pull your little temper tantrums.”

“Aww, thanks,” Hare blushed, waving his hand at him absently. “But we’ll really have to do some work to make things ready for her.”

“We’ll have a tea party in her honor, that way she can meet everyone,” Hatter offered. “I’ll host it here.”

“Excellent idea,” Hare nodded. “We’ll make up invitations and send them out tomorrow. I think I still have some left over from the fondue party fiasco.”

“It’s been so long since I’ve been able to have a good party!” Hatter squealed, kicking his feet out and knocking a bunch of cups and saucers crashing to the floor. The Dormouse stuck his head out of his teapot again and started speaking, but was completely drowned out by the Hatter’s loud voice. “We’ll have food and tea… and music! What kind of music does your mother like? Maybe country? Or Polka? Oh I don’t know, I’m so excited!”

The Hare didn’t seem nearly as eager about everything. He couldn’t shake the nervous feeling in his stomach about it. What the Hatter didn’t know was that his mother would criticise every little thing Hare did. June expected nothing but perfection out of her only child, and that was a lot of weight to carry on his shoulders all the time. He ran a hand through his hair and bit his thumb nervously, his mind racing.

“Hare, aren’t you excited?” the Hatter boisterously jumped up behind him, giving his shoulders a squeeze before slantering through the IN door and returning immediately with a pile of cookbooks. “We should start planning!”

“I think maybe we should put the groceries away first,” Hare suggested. They had cream and perishables that should really be put away before too long. And the ice cream was starting to melt onto the table.

“Righty roo…” Hatter nodded. “That’s why you’re the smart one and I’m the one with impeccable fashion sense.”

Hare managed a chuckle, digging through the bags and sorting everything.

--

Later that night, after the groceries had been put away and the tea party had ended, the pair were in the attic of the Hat house going through recipe books. Hare was scribbling away at the desk on the invitations, making sure to write up a nice one to put in his mother’s letter he was going to send her. He knew she’d probably like to tuck one away in a scrapbook to show people later.

“How about spinach puffs?” Hatter asked from the floor. He was laying on his stomach, a dozen cook books open around him with dogeared and scribbled on pages.

Hare thought for a moment before shaking his head. “What if spinach gets stuck in your teeth? No, Mother won’t approve.”

Hatter scrunched up his face and flipped a few more pages. “Asparagus spears with bacon?”

“Hatter, asparagus makes your pee smell. Mother won’t like that.”

Hare sure wasn’t making this easy. Hatter lifted his hat and scratched his head before flipping a few more pages. “Jello mold salad?”

“That stuff is sticky, isn’t it?”

Hatter scoffed and slammed the book shut, rolling around the ground in frustration. “Hare! Your mother can’t hate everything! There must be something she likes eating that won’t be messy or gross or smelly! Throw me a bone here!”

“Well, she won’t eat bones either,” Hare replied, not even looking up from the invitation he was working on. “She has soft teeth.”

“That’s it!” Hatter thrust his arms out in the air. “We’re having cucumber sandies and water. I’m done!”

Hare chuckled at his boyfriend, finding him cute despite the flush to his face. “She likes things that won’t get stuck in your teeth or make a mess while you eat it. Cucumber sandwiches are fine and so is the usual tea party spread. But, I’m telling you, she’s picky. We’re going to have quite a time making her happy.”

“Has she always been like this?” Hatter asked, scooting across the room on his knees to the Hare.

“Yeah…” he sighed, leaning back in the chair as Hatter hugged him around the middle and rested his head in his lap. “I was a pretty sheltered kid. Coddled, really. It was just her and I after my Dad left, so she put a lot of effort and time into my activities.”

“So you were a mama’s hare, huh?” Hatter teased.

“You could say so…” Hare shrugged, removing the Hatter’s top hat and setting it on the desk. He ran a gloved hand through his hair, a grin crossing the Hatter’s face as he relaxed at the touch.

The Hatter remained silent for a while, thinking to himself about the Hare growing up alone with his mother. He knew that June was persnickety, but was only now really getting the full picture. This was going to be important to the Hare and he would have to do his best to make a good impression.

“She knows about us, right?” Hatter asked suddenly.

“I wrote about us a while ago, yes. So she knows.”

Their relationship wasn’t necessarily new, they had been friends for years (felt like a lifetime, really), but they had only been officially together for a year or so. 

“Did she say anything?”

The Hare was silent, trying to pick his words. “She wasn’t surprised. She said she knew we were going to end up dating by the way I spoke about you. I don’t write to her about my relationships often, not that I’ve had many.”

“Well that’s good, I suppose… sounds like she’s supportive, anyway.” The Hatter gave the Hare a squeeze before getting to his feet. “You want to stay the night?”

The Hare shrugged. “Sure. I can take my gardening things home in the morning.”

Hatter smiled and nodded, picking up his hat and giving the Hare a soft kiss on the lips while he was bent over. “I’m going to brew some sleepytime tea then. Be back in a jiffy.”

Hare nodded and finished up his last party invitation, looking around the attic while he listened to the Hatter putter around in the kitchen downstairs. The longer he looked around, the more problems he uncovered. “My mother would hate this…” he muttered to himself as he took notice of all the gathered dust and spiderwebs in the corners. Tisking to himself, he put the invitations in his jacket pocket with the intention of mailing them tomorrow, before going downstairs to help the Hatter with the tea.

--

Hare woke up in the Hatter’s bed much earlier than he had expected to. He had tossed and turned all night, having nightmares about his Mother’s visit and everything going wrong. That simply couldn’t happen. Everything had to go perfectly on her visit. He laid beside the Hatter for a long time, trying to listen to his light snoring in an attempt to let it relax him. It didn’t.

After a little, he had finally had enough contemplation and snuck out of bed. He padded his way to the bathroom, where he brushed his teeth and changed back into his suit from the day before. Normally he wasn’t one to leave without saying goodbye, but he had to get home and check his garden, amongst other things. Plus he would be back later that day anyway.

Scribbling a note on a piece of paper, which he left on the Hatter’s bedside table, Hare waited to put his shoes on until he was out at the tea table.

“Let’s see…” he mumbled to himself as he laced up his yellow high tops. “I’ll go by the mail box on my way home. Check the garden, maybe take a look in the guest room… the whole house will need to be cleaned this week,” he groaned, taking his glasses off and rubbing his eyes. For a second he considered going back inside and making a pot of coffee, maybe munching a scone or two, but no. He needed to get things done, there was only a week till his Mother got there.

Heaving a sigh, he got to his feet and scurried through the gate and made his way home with the gardening supplies he had purchased the day before.

--

“I was disappointed that you weren’t here when I woke up this morning, Hare,” The Hatter said, sipping the tea he brewed to go along with lunch. “Where’d you go off to so early?”

“I mailed the invitations and my Mother’s letter,” the Hare shrugged. “Plus today was weeding day in the garden. I wanted to get that done early so I could spend the rest of the day with you.” He had also managed to grab a shower and do a little cleaning at his place. He had washed all the sheets in his house and they were currently hanging out in his yard to dry so he could set up his Mother’s room.

“I should come see what you’ve done with your garden,” Hatter said with a smile. “It’s been a while since my last visit.”

“Hatter, I’ve been thinking,” Hare said suddenly, making the Hatter look at him with an alarmed look on his face. “I think it would be a good idea for us to give your house a good scrubbing.”

“Oh, and I thought this would be something serious,” Hatter shrugged. “Sure, we can do that. How does our day look next Saturday?”

“No,” Hare shook his head, his ears bouncing a little. “Tomorrow. We need to get it done as soon as possible.”

Hatter cocked a brow, putting his tea down and giving his boyfriend a once over. Hare could be a little bit of a neat freak at times, but he’d never been one to put his foot down about picking things up before. He knew he wasn’t the most perceptive hatter who ever lived, but the anxiety practically oozed from his Hare. This simply wouldn’t do.

“Sure, Hare, whatever you think. But try to relax a little, you look like you’re trying to lay an egg.”

“Rabbits don’t lay eggs, they hide them,” Hare said with a chuckle to himself, enjoying a good bit of bunny humor.

“Well, all the same, we can clean my house tomorrow. No problem. I think my day was wide open anyway.”

Hare nodded and took his notebook out of his jacket, scribbling notes on it as he munched on some celery with his lunch. “Tomorrow we’ll clean your house and finish planning the food for the party, the day after we’ll go back to the grocery and get everything… We’ll have to get our suits pressed, so get any dry cleaning together you want so we can drop that off at the same time… the garden will need to be relandscaped and I’ll have to clean my house at least twice over… I should bring the tea set she sent me for Christmas too, clean those and use them for the party...”

The Hatter listened to the Hare continue to list everything they needed to get done, smirking to himself as he finished off the last bit of the lunchtime tea. He’d think this behaviour was adorable if there wasn’t such a sense of panic about everything. Hare was working his way up into a frenzy and they still had all week to plan and get things done. They needed a distraction.

Wordlessly, the Hatter reached across the table and plucked the notebook from the Hare’s hands, flinging it across the courtyard and into the bushes. The Hare was about to protest when the Hatter took him by the shoulders and kissed him deeply on the lips, tipping his chair over and leaving them smothering one another on the floor.

--

After an afternoon of distractions (a lot of chasing one another around the house followed by some hanky panky), the pair returned to the Hare’s house to bring in his laundry. It was also decided that the Hare would spend the night at the Hatter’s again so they could get up bright and early to tackle the attic.

“This sheet goes in the guest room,” Hare announced as he passed the pure white folded sheet into the Hatter’s arms. “And this one goes in my room.”

“You don’t usually use white sheets…” Hatter remarked. “Don’t yours have pastel stripes?”

“My mother only likes white sheets,” he explained. “She thinks they look better when you turn them over before going to sleep.”

“But your regular ones are so much fun!” Hatter beamed. “These seem boring and blech…” he then made a face like he had put salt in his tea by accident instead of sugar.

Hare chuckled and nodded in agreement. “Yes, well, this is what Mother would approve of. So…”

“Oh, jeez…” Hatter rolled his eyes. “It’s that kind of thing, huh?”

“Hatter,” Hare breathed with a pause, shaking his head. “You have no idea.”

They entered Hare’s house and made up the beds with the fresh sheets and blankets, adding the family heirloom vegetable quilt from the hall closet to the guest room as a final touch. Hatter gave Hare some privacy as he packed some things into an overnight bag, perusing the bookshelves in the living room as he waited.

“Hare,” Hatter said out loud to him in the bedroom. “Maybe we should bring some of your cookbooks over to my place. The ones with family recipes in them. There’s got to be some scrummy things we can make in there that your mother will like.”

“That’s a good idea,” Hare said loudly from beside Hatter, making him jump a little. “Those are on the top shelf with the orange bindings.”

Reaching up, Hatter grabbed a pair of orange books from the shelf and stowed them away under his arm before turning to the Hare. “Are we ready?”

Hare lifted his overnight bag into view and shook it a little. He also had a box of various tea sets under his other arm. “Gifts from Mom,” he attempted.

“No need to explain,” Hatter said calmly, taking the box from the Hare and following him out the front door.

--

“My Mom is very particular about things,” Hare said, fixing his little bandana on his head to cover his hair as they cleaned. The sun had only just risen the next day and they were already out of bed, full of breakfast and standing in the messy attic. “We’ll have to clean this house from top to bottom to meet her expectations.”

“But why do we have to clean my house?” The Hatter asked, smoothing his hair down before putting on a painters cap. “Your Mother is staying with you.”

"We want to make a good impression with her,” Hare wheezed. “I want her to like you.”

“What’s not to like?” The Hatter posed, his arms outstretched to show off his lanky physique.

“Your buttons are off…” Hare muttered, moving to unbutton and rebutton his boyfriend’s coveralls.

“Oh…” the Hatter dropped his arms to his sides, letting Hare fix his shirt as he continued. “Do we have to throw things away or just organize them to look like I have less? Because I’d really rather not get rid of anything.”

“Mostly cleaning,” Hare patted the Hatter’s chest, turning and picking up a broom and a dustpan. “Though this attic could use some reorganizing. But we have five days till my Mother gets here, and with everything else we have to do I don’t think we’ll have enough time to re-catalogue everything you have.”

“How true that is,” Hatter nodded, picking up a box and finding an empty fish bowl underneath. “I’ve acquired a lot of new things since we last did that.”

“Maybe I’ll make a note for us to do that soon,” Hare muttered, taking out his pocket calendar and flipping through the pages. “How about a week from Sunday?”

The Hatter thought to himself before shaking his head. “Naw, we have Pun Sunday that day.”

“Right, right…” Hare made an exaggerated X on that page and made a note about Pun Sunday before continuing. “Well, the next opening would be the day after Labor day.”

“Pencil it in and we’ll see if we can’t move that project forward,” Hatter suggested, causing Hare to nod in agreement as he scribbled in his book. 

--

It took the better part of the day, but by the time teatime rolled around the Hat house had a very clean attic. All the dust and lint had been swept away and they organized it enough that you could almost find you way around up there. The pair was knackered though and almost too tired to even set up the tea party. But, it was expected of them, so they did it.

They decided on a raspberry tea and a matcha tea, in the hopes that one of them would give them a little more energy to carry on the rest of the day. They also had all their sugary treats left over from the day before.

“The next time you suggest cleaning out my attic,” the Hatter moaned, laying across the tea table with a cup in hand. “Remind me to shove you out the window.” He had his coveralls open and his cap on backwards as he sipped his tea, dunking a cookie in his cup before nibbling on it lazily.

Hare chuckled to himself giddily, showing how sleepy he was. “Just remind me to jump out the window.”

“Hi Hr Hatter! Hi Hr Hare!” Alice greeted them from the gate, making both the men jump. “Am I late for the tea party?”

“Hullo, Alice!” the pair greeted in return. “Feel free to join us.”

“Sorry that I don’t hop up and open the gate for you,” Hare apologized. “It’s been a long day and I’m pooped.”

“That's alright, Mr Hare, I can manage” Alice said, noting how filthy their coveralls were as she approached the table. “What have you been up to today?”

“Cleaning…” the Hatter spat out. “It was terrible.”

“I hate cleaning my room too,” Alice laughed, helping herself to the raspberry tea and adding some lemon and sugar to it. “Are you doing some spring cleaning?”

“No, Hare’s mother is coming to town and he insists that we make the place look good for her.”

“Your mother is coming, Mr Hare?” the girl asked excitedly, bouncing in her seat a little. “That’s so exciting!”

“Yes, I’m thrilled…” Hare muttered, sounding less than enthused about the prospect. The idea was growing on him, but so were the butterflies in his stomach.

“When will she be here?”

“Actually,” Hare put his tea cup down and dug into his pocket, pulling out an invitation to the party and handing it to her. “She’ll be here at the end of the week. We’re throwing a special tea party for her, I hope you can come. I meant to give this to you a couple days ago but I got so wrapped up in things I seem to have forgotten.”

“Of course I will!” Alice beamed, taking the invitation and looking over it. “I can’t wait to meet her. Have you met her before, Mr Hatter?”

“Hm?” Hatter shook his head, trying to wake up a little. He’d had a long day and wasn’t his usual peppy self. “No, I haven’t. I mean, I’ve spoken to her on the phone when she calls here to speak to the Hare, but that’s about it. Not more than a few words.”

“You must be nervous to meet her,” the girl guessed. “I’m always nervous when I meet my friends' parents for the first time.”

“Me? Nervous?” Hatter scoffed. “Naw. I’m sure she’ll love me.”

“That’s my Hatter,” the Hare beamed. “Never lacking in self confidence.”

“How true that is,” the Hatter replied with a wink.

“Well, if there’s anything I can do to help, let me know. I love planning parties.”

“How are you with a mop and a bucket? We have the other half of a house that needs to be cleaned and I just can’t force myself to do it,” the Hatter complained. Alice didn’t know if he was serious, but the Hare knew that he was.

--

They spend the rest of the night finalizing the party menu, Hare taking note of all the ingredients he would have to get at the grocery store later that week. They didn’t dare touch the attic. Now that it was cleaned they didn’t want to have to clean it again after they messed around up there, so they settled down in the living room. They had the Hare’s cook books out and open over the coffee table and they were sharing a bowl of ice cream as they flipped through the pages. They were in their pajamas, Hare in a large t shirt and pants, Hatter in his sleep pants with no shirt on. He was also hatless for once.

“Cherry tomato tartlets, shrimp tapenade canapes and sweet pea and leek tartlets will be enough, right?” Hare asked scratching his head with the rubber end of a large pencil as he looked over the recipe notes he had jotted down in his notebook.

“I think so,” Hatter said around a mouthful of ice cream. “We’ll have the usual spread of cakes and tarts and cookies for dessert…”

“And the crumpets!” Hare interjected.

“And the crumpets. I think we’ll be plenty busy with all this. I don’t think we can fit another item on the menu.”

“You don’t think we should make a carrot cake, do you? It is mother’s favorite.”

“We can scratch the regular tea cakes and make mini carrot cakes with cream cheese frosting.”

“Maybe I’ll order those from Just Add Sugar. I feel like we’re going to be really busy with everything else.”

“Just add it to my regular order there, it’s fine,” Hatter shrugged. “We’ll pick them up on the way to the train station to get your Mother.”

Hare felt grateful that Hatter was so supportive of all his demands. He really couldn’t have asked for a better boyfriend, who would not only put together a full party for his mother but also offer to help prepare and clean every inch of both their houses.

“The Queen would probably like some wine too,” Hatter thought out loud. “Might get her to loosen up a little. Is she still angry with your mother about the quicksand incident?”

“When the Rabbit called to rsvp, I might have overheard the Queen say something about my ‘meddling mother keeping her pinched nose out of her business if she knows what‘s good for her’.”

The Hatter sat silently, thinking for a second before eating another spoonful of ice cream. “Ah…” was all he could muster. “Then wine would be a good idea.”

“Red, of course,” Hare nodded, jotting another item on the grocery list, Hatter nodding in agreement.

“Any other rsvps?”

“Everyone said they’d attend, including the Caterpillar. Which surprised me the most.” The Hare craned his neck and looked into the bowl, eyeing the last bit of ice cream.

“Well, it isn’t every day your mother comes all the way to Wonderland to meet all of us,” Hatter said, pulling the bowl out of reach of the Hare as he moved his spoon in to finish it up. The Hare furrowed his brow and looked at the Hatter with a ‘you’d better not’ expression. The tall man gave Hare a wide, teasing grin. “What will you give me for it?”

“For the ice cream that I put in the bowl that you’ve eaten almost all of?” Hare tilted his head down a little, looking at the Hatter over the rims of his glasses.

“Mhmm…” Hatter nodded, still holding the ice cream hostage.

Hare couldn’t even pretend to be angry with that shit eating grin staring back at him, he found the man far too attractive. But it was his prerogative to play hard to get and he just couldn’t let his Hatter down.

“How about…” The hair said out loud, before leaning in and whispering something into the Hatter’s ear, letting his whiskers tickle him as he spoke.

Hatter sat upright suddenly, practically threw the ice cream bowl into Hare’s lap and ran to get his blindfolds. “I’ll give you a three second head start to hide!” Hatter shouted from the next room.

[easyfoodnetwork]

The Ultimate Guide to Instant Noodles

A variety of instant noodles from different countries

How to mash-up, deconstruct, and altogether upgrade the versatile staple of dorm room dining

As a semi-professional noodle slurper and collector, I’ve eaten hundreds of noodles in my life, but I have a particular soft spot for one type, specifically: the instant kind. You know, those hard squiggly bricks of dried, fried noodles with accompanying seasoning packets that have long been the foundation of the American collegiate diet. Since the pandemic started, I’ve been showing off my impressive collection of instant noodles to my friends on FaceTime like a YouTube beauty guru flaunting their makeup stash.

I love instant noodles for many reasons: They have a nearly indefinite shelf life; they are an easy breakfast, snack, or — with the right bolstering — a full meal; and, they come in a panoply of shapes, textures, flavors, and colorful packaging styles. But while there is nothing wrong with eating instant noodles according to the instructions, it’s their versatility that’s made me a devoted fan. Here’s how to mash-up, deconstruct, and upgrade the dorm room staple.

1. Load up on protein

Yes, many instant noodles come with their own packets of dehydrated vegetable or meat flavoring, but they rarely provide much real taste and add zero in the way of texture. Supplementing your own additional proteins will do a lot to make your instant noodles more satisfying and nutrition-rich. Try simple items like ground meat, sausage, tofu, and leftover fried chicken — or my personal favorite ramen topping, pork char siu. Meat shortage got ya down? Just crack an egg. You can stir it right in to create an egg-drop soup effect, or poach the egg gently in the soup broth to enjoy breaking the creamy yolk.

Chicken-flavored ramen with garlicky sautéed kale, roasted chicken legs, and carrots.

2. Go big with toppings

Going nuts with the add-ons at ramen restaurants can mean spending $30 on a bowl of noodles (toppings normally cost between $1 and $3 each.) But at home, you can have as many toppings as the inventory of your fridge’s produce drawer allows: scallions, corn, mushrooms, kale, you name it. Not sure about what to do with all those weird greens in your CSA farm box? Add them to your instant noodles! Fact: There is no such thing as a lousy topping for instant noodles.

3. Deconstruct everything

Each element of the instant noodle package is a multi-purpose cooking superstar. The seasoning packets add a pop to stir-fried vegetables. Broken into bits, the uncooked noodles are an excellent crunchy topping for a salad or even another non-instant pasta dish. Do yourself a favor and add some ramen seasoning to mac and cheese, or how about using those instant noodles to make buns for an at-home ramen burger?

4. Switch up the liquid

To deepen the character of the soup, try cooking the noodles in vegetable or chicken broth instead of plain water. There are plenty of wilder recipes out there, including this one I’m skeptical of that uses milk, but homemade stock is a safe jumping off point.

5. Mash-up different styles

Mixing different instant noodle styles and seasoning packets is a culinary art form in itself, and can have big payoff. Jjapaguri (also called ram-don), the famous dish from the Oscar-winning movie Parasite, is actually just a hybrid of two different kinds of instant noodles — Neoguri and Jjappaghetti — and has become one of Korea’s national dishes. The magic comes from the mixing of Neguri’s spicy seafood powder with Jjappaghetti’s savory black bean powder, which ignites a lethal umami bomb. But jjapaguri is just the start. Try mixing Neoguri and curry noodles to create an exuberant, spicy curry broth. Combining super spicy noodles with something cheesy is also 100 percent never a bad idea.

Jjapaghetti goes well with fried egg

The Ones to Know

Here, then, are some of the best instant noodles to stock up on, categorized by whether or not they’re “brothy” (the noodle soup kind) or “saucy” (brothless noodles with a separate sauce).

BROTHY

MyKuali Penang White Curry Noodle If you love Penang curry, try adding this noodle to your cart. These wildly popular Malaysian instant noodles are considered some of the best in the world on this heavily opinionated ranking. Three whole flavor pouches — one of them is a paste — make for a deep, coconut-y taste and hearty portion size that you rarely get from instant noodles. Add toppings like fried tofu or prawns.

Neoguri, Spicy Seafood Udon Noodles Neoguri, a Korean word for raccoon dog (neither a raccoon nor a dog; discuss), has been my top choice for ramen since I started slurping noodles at the age of three. This beloved Korean instant noodle is known for two things: thick udon-like noodles and a spicy seafood broth with actual dried seafood. It’s fantastic with any fishy topping or add-ins.

Nongshim Shin Ramyun Noodle Soup Shin Ramyun might be the very first Korean instant noodle brand, as well as one of the easiest to find internationally: I still remember the exciting moment when I found Shin Ramyun in a random gas station in Alabama. It’s known for its spicy broth, and doubles as an excellent noodle for Korean ramen beginners. Top this with a slice of American cheese to tone down the spice and pump up the greatness.

Prima Taste Laksa Coconut Curry Lamian Noodles This Singaporean instant noodle inspired by traditional laksa has a paste sachet that can and should be used for stir-frying vegetables, too. The noodles are rounder and less wavy than others, and the white powder adds the signature creaminess.

Mama Noodles Thai cooking doesn’t shy away from acid, and neither do these Thai instant noodles, with just the right balance of acidic and salty flavors. The wavy noodles and the powdery seasonings make a great snack — though it may not be hearty enough to be a standalone meal. Beef it up with a hard-boiled egg and other vegetable toppings, like scallions.

Sapporo Ichiban Tokyo Chicken Momosan Ramen Think Japanese shoyu ramen, in instant form: salty, slightly smokey, and clean tasting. It’s great with plain old white-meat chicken breast — which is hard to say about anything, really.

Paldo Gomtang Oriental Style Noodles with Beef Soup Base Not all Korean instant noodles are spicy! This mild, creamy Korean noodle soup is inspired by gomtang, or beef bone broth. It has an intense beefiness and is excellent with hearty greens like cabbage or scallions. Add some ground beef to make it more filling.

Tseng noodles with black sesame sauce

SAUCY

Nongshim, Jjapaghetti (Noodle Pasta with jjajang Sauce) “On Sundays, I’m the chef for Jjapaghetti” has been a Korean catchphrase for more than a decade. A combination of two dishes — jajangmyun (black bean noodles) and spaghetti— this saucy Korean instant noodle is also what spurred the ram-don trend after its crucial role in Parasite. The accompanying savory black bean sauce is all it really needs, though I highly recommend a luxe drizzle of truffle oil, too.

Indomie Mi Goreng Instant Stir Fry Noodles If you haven’t tried this Indonesian instant noodle, stop what you’re doing and fix that immediately. The package comes with a liquid seasoning mix of savory onion-flavored oil, sweet-spicy chili sauce, and sweet soy sauce, creating a salty-and-sweet coating for the wavy noodles. Any optional toppings like grilled steak or boiled eggs are just gravy.

Samyang Extra Hot Chicken Flavor Ramen Are you up for #FireNoodleChallenge? Join the leagues of people who’ve filmed themselves slurping these dangerously spicy noodles. There are multiple flavor options available, from carbonara to curry, and all of them equally fiery. Cover this with lots of mozzarella cheese to tone down the heat to the point where you might actually enjoy it.

Tseng Noodles Scallion With Sichuan Pepper Flavor This Taiwanese instant noodle is all about texture. Its curling, knife-cut-like strands are a perfect match for the sauce. There are many different flavors, besides this scallion one, such as black sesame and shallots. Depending on the sauce, the noodles textures vary. Think of this as gourmet-tier, since it costs slightly more than other noodles, but it’s totally worth the splurge.

Paldo Bibim Myun Cold Noodle The spicy, tangy, sweet sauce of these Korean noodles will wake up even the dullest of palates. Cook the noodles until they’re just al dente, or still a little firm, then rinse them under cold water to get rid of any residual starch and achieve peak bounce and chew. The sauce packet is an excellent salad dressing, too. Add some chopped cucumber and hard-boiled egg for a clutch midnight snack, or add some ice cubes for a cooling summer treat.

Mom’s Dry Noodle Sichuan Spicy The Taiwanese knife cut-style noodles cling to the oily, spicy sauce for maximum slurpability. Top with a fried egg or fried cubed tofu and you can almost pretend you’re at a restaurant.

Mom’s Dry Noodle has dried ribbon noodles which have ideal textures for the sauce

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A variety of instant noodles from different countries

How to mash-up, deconstruct, and altogether upgrade the versatile staple of dorm room dining

As a semi-professional noodle slurper and collector, I’ve eaten hundreds of noodles in my life, but I have a particular soft spot for one type, specifically: the instant kind. You know, those hard squiggly bricks of dried, fried noodles with accompanying seasoning packets that have long been the foundation of the American collegiate diet. Since the pandemic started, I’ve been showing off my impressive collection of instant noodles to my friends on FaceTime like a YouTube beauty guru flaunting their makeup stash.

I love instant noodles for many reasons: They have a nearly indefinite shelf life; they are an easy breakfast, snack, or — with the right bolstering — a full meal; and, they come in a panoply of shapes, textures, flavors, and colorful packaging styles. But while there is nothing wrong with eating instant noodles according to the instructions, it’s their versatility that’s made me a devoted fan. Here’s how to mash-up, deconstruct, and upgrade the dorm room staple.

1. Load up on protein

Yes, many instant noodles come with their own packets of dehydrated vegetable or meat flavoring, but they rarely provide much real taste and add zero in the way of texture. Supplementing your own additional proteins will do a lot to make your instant noodles more satisfying and nutrition-rich. Try simple items like ground meat, sausage, tofu, and leftover fried chicken — or my personal favorite ramen topping, pork char siu. Meat shortage got ya down? Just crack an egg. You can stir it right in to create an egg-drop soup effect, or poach the egg gently in the soup broth to enjoy breaking the creamy yolk.

Chicken-flavored ramen with garlicky sautéed kale, roasted chicken legs, and carrots.

2. Go big with toppings

Going nuts with the add-ons at ramen restaurants can mean spending $30 on a bowl of noodles (toppings normally cost between $1 and $3 each.) But at home, you can have as many toppings as the inventory of your fridge’s produce drawer allows: scallions, corn, mushrooms, kale, you name it. Not sure about what to do with all those weird greens in your CSA farm box? Add them to your instant noodles! Fact: There is no such thing as a lousy topping for instant noodles.

3. Deconstruct everything

Each element of the instant noodle package is a multi-purpose cooking superstar. The seasoning packets add a pop to stir-fried vegetables. Broken into bits, the uncooked noodles are an excellent crunchy topping for a salad or even another non-instant pasta dish. Do yourself a favor and add some ramen seasoning to mac and cheese, or how about using those instant noodles to make buns for an at-home ramen burger?

4. Switch up the liquid

To deepen the character of the soup, try cooking the noodles in vegetable or chicken broth instead of plain water. There are plenty of wilder recipes out there, including this one I’m skeptical of that uses milk, but homemade stock is a safe jumping off point.

5. Mash-up different styles

Mixing different instant noodle styles and seasoning packets is a culinary art form in itself, and can have big payoff. Jjapaguri (also called ram-don), the famous dish from the Oscar-winning movie Parasite, is actually just a hybrid of two different kinds of instant noodles — Neoguri and Jjappaghetti — and has become one of Korea’s national dishes. The magic comes from the mixing of Neguri’s spicy seafood powder with Jjappaghetti’s savory black bean powder, which ignites a lethal umami bomb. But jjapaguri is just the start. Try mixing Neoguri and curry noodles to create an exuberant, spicy curry broth. Combining super spicy noodles with something cheesy is also 100 percent never a bad idea.

Jjapaghetti goes well with fried egg

The Ones to Know

Here, then, are some of the best instant noodles to stock up on, categorized by whether or not they’re “brothy” (the noodle soup kind) or “saucy” (brothless noodles with a separate sauce).

BROTHY

MyKuali Penang White Curry Noodle If you love Penang curry, try adding this noodle to your cart. These wildly popular Malaysian instant noodles are considered some of the best in the world on this heavily opinionated ranking. Three whole flavor pouches — one of them is a paste — make for a deep, coconut-y taste and hearty portion size that you rarely get from instant noodles. Add toppings like fried tofu or prawns.

Neoguri, Spicy Seafood Udon Noodles Neoguri, a Korean word for raccoon dog (neither a raccoon nor a dog; discuss), has been my top choice for ramen since I started slurping noodles at the age of three. This beloved Korean instant noodle is known for two things: thick udon-like noodles and a spicy seafood broth with actual dried seafood. It’s fantastic with any fishy topping or add-ins.

Nongshim Shin Ramyun Noodle Soup Shin Ramyun might be the very first Korean instant noodle brand, as well as one of the easiest to find internationally: I still remember the exciting moment when I found Shin Ramyun in a random gas station in Alabama. It’s known for its spicy broth, and doubles as an excellent noodle for Korean ramen beginners. Top this with a slice of American cheese to tone down the spice and pump up the greatness.

Prima Taste Laksa Coconut Curry Lamian Noodles This Singaporean instant noodle inspired by traditional laksa has a paste sachet that can and should be used for stir-frying vegetables, too. The noodles are rounder and less wavy than others, and the white powder adds the signature creaminess.

Mama Noodles Thai cooking doesn’t shy away from acid, and neither do these Thai instant noodles, with just the right balance of acidic and salty flavors. The wavy noodles and the powdery seasonings make a great snack — though it may not be hearty enough to be a standalone meal. Beef it up with a hard-boiled egg and other vegetable toppings, like scallions.

Sapporo Ichiban Tokyo Chicken Momosan Ramen Think Japanese shoyu ramen, in instant form: salty, slightly smokey, and clean tasting. It’s great with plain old white-meat chicken breast — which is hard to say about anything, really.

Paldo Gomtang Oriental Style Noodles with Beef Soup Base Not all Korean instant noodles are spicy! This mild, creamy Korean noodle soup is inspired by gomtang, or beef bone broth. It has an intense beefiness and is excellent with hearty greens like cabbage or scallions. Add some ground beef to make it more filling.

Tseng noodles with black sesame sauce

SAUCY

Nongshim, Jjapaghetti (Noodle Pasta with jjajang Sauce) “On Sundays, I’m the chef for Jjapaghetti” has been a Korean catchphrase for more than a decade. A combination of two dishes — jajangmyun (black bean noodles) and spaghetti— this saucy Korean instant noodle is also what spurred the ram-don trend after its crucial role in Parasite. The accompanying savory black bean sauce is all it really needs, though I highly recommend a luxe drizzle of truffle oil, too.

Indomie Mi Goreng Instant Stir Fry Noodles If you haven’t tried this Indonesian instant noodle, stop what you’re doing and fix that immediately. The package comes with a liquid seasoning mix of savory onion-flavored oil, sweet-spicy chili sauce, and sweet soy sauce, creating a salty-and-sweet coating for the wavy noodles. Any optional toppings like grilled steak or boiled eggs are just gravy.

Samyang Extra Hot Chicken Flavor Ramen Are you up for #FireNoodleChallenge? Join the leagues of people who’ve filmed themselves slurping these dangerously spicy noodles. There are multiple flavor options available, from carbonara to curry, and all of them equally fiery. Cover this with lots of mozzarella cheese to tone down the heat to the point where you might actually enjoy it.

Tseng Noodles Scallion With Sichuan Pepper Flavor This Taiwanese instant noodle is all about texture. Its curling, knife-cut-like strands are a perfect match for the sauce. There are many different flavors, besides this scallion one, such as black sesame and shallots. Depending on the sauce, the noodles textures vary. Think of this as gourmet-tier, since it costs slightly more than other noodles, but it’s totally worth the splurge.

Paldo Bibim Myun Cold Noodle The spicy, tangy, sweet sauce of these Korean noodles will wake up even the dullest of palates. Cook the noodles until they’re just al dente, or still a little firm, then rinse them under cold water to get rid of any residual starch and achieve peak bounce and chew. The sauce packet is an excellent salad dressing, too. Add some chopped cucumber and hard-boiled egg for a clutch midnight snack, or add some ice cubes for a cooling summer treat.

Mom’s Dry Noodle Sichuan Spicy The Taiwanese knife cut-style noodles cling to the oily, spicy sauce for maximum slurpability. Top with a fried egg or fried cubed tofu and you can almost pretend you’re at a restaurant.

Mom’s Dry Noodle has dried ribbon noodles which have ideal textures for the sauce

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[officialcolumbiauniversity]

October 24, 2019. The strangest thing is happening: I’m, like, exercising and eating well? I made a new workout plan and I’ve been pretty consistent over the past week. My legs keep buckling under me as I walk and my neck is always in need of a good cracking but otherwise I feel great! crazy how that works

I also keep buying good groceries because i used to buy sweetgreen or shake shack all the time, and i wouldn’t say sweetgreen is unhealthy necessarily but it’s also $15 bucks a meal, but then I realized the grocery store is literally right next to the two like it’s literally right there so i just figured i’d spend $30 on groceries for a week instead of on two meals. Usually the first thing I’ll put in my cart is like oreos or some dumb shit (because I keep making the mistake of shopping while i’m hungry) but then my cravings will subside and i’ll get, like, fruit. I bought grapes and baby carrots yesterday. I also bought soup dumplings like a week ago and, combined with the instant pho my mom gave me when i moved in, I haven’t eaten in a dining hall since! Basically it’s just some pho noodles with some seasoning oil in a packet, which i boil with some chicken broth then add the dumplings! Yeah I fuckin bought chicken broth like an adult! Boom a meal right there.

Oh I also bought bagels and cream cheese yesterday, which was literally an out-of-body experience, I didn’t buy like a sleeve of bagels like normal I got half a dozen bagels by picking them out myself from the like thing grocery stores got? You know with the tongs on springs attached to the wall, and wax paper? Do It Yourself? Fresh-ass bagels, minding their own business? Yeah the last time I did that was at a Shoppers when I was like 10 with my dad. Surreal shit.

Anyways I have a midterm tomorrow for orgo but i’m not worried; i probably should be but honestly I already studied the reaction mechanisms so i really have not much to study. i’m just chilling

What I am looking forward to is Basketball Mania tonight; it’s been a long time since I’ve caught a basketball game and I’m excited for this season. I’m going with a friend and we’re catching dinner before; apparently the first 500 people to Mania get a free tumbler. idk but i want free shit also i think there’s a raffle for free tuition or something? Columbia’s wilding

Otherwise life is great and the weather makes me happy and I’m glad to be here :)

[shels-kpop-main]

Moments, pt. 4 (Roger Taylor x reader)

Word Count: 2524

Warnings: See below.

A/N: Hey everyone. Just a warning, the angst in this one is more like heartbreak. I’ve mentioned to a few people that I myself lost my dad recently. Just like Joe, and just like the main character/reader in this story. This was a hard chapter to write. I cried a lot. But I think there’s a wealth of emotional depth that can be tapped into with the subject of losing a parent, so I didn’t want to shy away from it. Trigger warning if you have ever lost a parent. Trigger warning for taking someone off life support. This chapter is a heart wrenching one, but I promise things will be much easier in the next chapter. And remember, if you ever want to talk to someone about your struggles, I will always listen. Alright. I love you guys. Let’s get this out of the way.

It was almost dark when you woke up. The side of your face was wet and it leaked over onto the pillowcase. Whether the water was from tears or drool, you weren’t sure. But you wiped your face and got up, feeling even more exhausted than you had before. Roger nearly fell onto your legs when you pulled your bedroom door open. You jumped back in surprise, as he struggled to sit himself up. “What are you doing?” You asked, out of pure confusion. Roger got up and brushed off his pants, red in the face. “You seemed upset, so I… I, uh…” He trailed off, realizing in that moment that he didn’t have a plan or even a real reason to be there. “I just…waited. Here,” he finished, awkwardly gesturing at the spot on the floor he’d just occupied. You folded your arms, almost amused. “Right. Okay. Well, I’m hungry so I was gonna go fix some dinner.” You moved past him, shoulders brushing his, and started off down the stairs. Roger traipsed down behind you. He reminded you of a Golden Retriever following its human.

“We picked up loads of stuff at the market this week,” Roger sounded chipper. You hated it. “Surely we’ll find something we can make into a meal.” “We?” You asked him. He shrugged sheepishly as you walked through the living room. You looked at the fireplace, and felt momentarily better. “Well, I mean, you. If you’d like to cook for two.” “And what will you do?” You asked, more out of interest than interrogation. Roger gestured widely to himself, grinning. “Keep you company, of course,” he replied. You rolled your eyes, but smiled. Roger was happy with this, and spent the next hour talking your head off as you made grilled cheese sandwiches and steamed vegetables. He talked about everything under the sun—his favorite moments from their last tour, his new car, how much he hated Brian’s latest song. And you listened to all of it. Because he was fun to watch. Without your camera in hand, you could take time to just focus on Roger’s presence. His expressions, hand movements, even the slight changes in his vocal intonations as he went from subject to subject. You were giving him a muted smile as he ranted about some magazine that had given Queen a less-than-stellar review. But you stared at him too long, and Roger was interrupted by the smell of vegetables burning. “Is that supposed to be burning?” “Damn it!” You nearly shouted, lifting the pan off the stove to cool down. Roger just laughed as you stirred through the charred remains of what would have undoubtedly been the healthiest thing he’d put in his body all week. You grumbled, sifting through the burned veggies to salvage any that you could. “Should pay closer attention, love,” Roger smirked. “Shut up,” you retorted, smacking Roger on the shoulder with a dish towel. Roger mocked you with feigned offense, whining that you’d hurt him. You giggled and smacked him again, as he took off around the counter. He clutched at his shoulder dramatically as you laughed, still chasing him through the kitchen with the towel. When you were sure you had him cornered between the counter and the wall, Roger reached out and yanked the towel from your hands. You weren’t quick to let go of it, however, and you fell forward when he jerked. You all but knocked him over, laughing the whole way. But Roger expected you to put up a fight, and he reached out to steady you. You were sure that his fingers brushing along the gap between your sweater and your jeans was no accident. But you liked it, and you didn’t move away from him right away. You separated yourself from him after a moment of laughter by gently pushing against his chest. He was still holding the towel, and slung it over his shoulder. You turned away from him, focusing again on the meal you were trying to prepare. Your cheeks were a light tinge of pink, and you were glad Roger couldn’t see. You flushed easily, and you knew Roger wasn’t going to let it go without making fun of you at least a little. You slid the sandwiches out of their pan, and set them down next to the small pile of vegetables that weren’t burned. You shoveled all of these veggies onto Roger’s plate, handing it to him. He pulled the towel from his shoulder and looked at the food in disgust. “You want me to eat those? By myself?” Roger wrinkled his nose, and you pushed the plate closer to him. “Yes. There’s not that many. Besides, I think it must have been weeks since you’ve eaten a vegetable.” “What even is this,” Roger muttered bitterly, sifting through the contents of his plate. “Carrots, cauliflower…squash?” “Zucchini,” you corrected him, handing him a napkin. “You should know, you bought it.” “Nah, love, that was all Brian.” “At least one of you cares about your own diet.” “He only eats healthy cause he has to. He won’t eat meat,” Roger retorted. You got yourself a sandwich and sat next to him at the bar. The two of you munched on your dinners in silence. For all of Roger’s complaining about the healthy part of his meal, he ate his vegetables quickly. “You know, those weren’t half bad,” he admitted, after clearing his plate. You rolled your eyes. “I’m a decent cook, when I’m paying attention,” you said wryly. Roger grinned, picking up your plates and bringing them to the sink. You joined him as he washed them. Or tried to; it was clear Roger hadn’t done many chores in his life. You folded your arms, leaning against the counter. Roger’s shoulder almost brushed yours every time he reached over to put a plate or fork on the drying rack. But you zoned out, remembering the events of the afternoon. Y/N Playing with Dad You weren’t sure which film the label was referring to—you probably hadn’t seen it. Your parents made an excessive number of home movies throughout your childhood, and there had never been enough time for you watch them all. Still, the title was enough to drop a rock into your stomach. Not seeing it was almost worse than having to actually watch it. Roger glanced up at you as he finished the dishes. You were lost in thought, arms still folded. Roger didn’t like the way your brows furrowed. You almost looked on the verge of tears again. It made him uneasy seeing you that way. Roger looked around, eyes searching for a distraction. The only things in front of him were a fake decorative plant, a drying rack full of dishes, and a sink still filled to the brim with soapy water. He came up with something that was sure to either annoy you or make you laugh. He stuck one finger into the soap suds and picked up a small scoop of bubbles. Then, without warning, he touched your nose, leaving the bubbles there. You frowned, looking down your nose at the shiny, white suds. Then, you started laughing. Roger was relieved as you laughed so hard you almost cried. You were amused that the only thing he thought to do was to stick soap bubbles to your nose. You wiped your face with a towel, smiling at him and shaking your head. “Cute,” you muttered with light-hearted sarcasm. But your face fell again, because you couldn’t help it. You thought of your dad, and how much you missed him. And your heart broke a little bit. Roger turned to face you, frowning. “Hey,” he said softly. But you couldn’t bring yourself to look up at him. “Please look at me,” he pleaded, in that same hushed tone. You looked up at the ceiling, then finally to him. “How can I fix it?” “Oh, Rog,” you grimaced, reaching up to brush his cheek with your fingers. He smiled at the touch. “You can’t fix it,” you told him, defeated. Roger shook his head. “Well, what’s wrong?” You shook your head, pulling your hand back to your side. “Hey, you can tell me. I won’t judge. We’re friends, y’know?” You looked at Roger again, a sense of apprehension creeping up inside you. “Jim didn’t tell any of you why I’m here?” Roger was taken aback by the question. “Well, no. Not really. He just said you were here because you needed to get away from family stuff. The same thing he said yesterday when I asked.” You hesitated. Roger had asked about you yesterday? He cared enough to check on you, especially with Jim? He knew Jim was wary of him because of his reputation. But you didn’t have time to dwell on that. You pressed on, swallowing the lump in throat. This wasn’t the first time you’d had to explain your circumstances, but it was never easy. “I’m here because… Because I lost my dad last year. And I had to get out of Texas. Out of the country, really. Just…away from there. Where it happened.” You rubbed your face as Roger took in the gravity of your words. He lifted his arms to hug you, but you crossed the kitchen before he could reach you. “So, anyway. That’s my deal,” you gestured at yourself, not knowing where to go from there. Roger walked up to you, looking upset. “I’m sorry,” he replied. You shook your head at him. “Don’t,” you warned, tears spilling over onto your cheeks. “Don’t pity me. I’m doing alright. I’m working through it.” Roger nodded, biting his lip. “What happened yesterday? If I can ask?” “My mom sent me some old home movies. One of them was about my dad.” “Oh,” was all he could come up with. “I haven’t watched it,” you told him. “I couldn’t. I couldn’t do it.” “That makes sense,” Roger acknowledged. You rubbed your arms, suddenly cold. Roger went to grab a blanket out of a basket by the door. You let him bring it to you, and threw it around yourself. “I don’t want to talk about this any more,” you said firmly. “I’ve had enough heavy talk for one day.” “’S alright with me, love,” Roger responded. He scrunched his face up in thought for a moment, then grinned at you. “We could build another fire?” His tone was mischievous. Your heart did a somersault in place, and you giggled without meaning to. “Sure, that sounds good.”

“Where is everyone?” You asked as the two of you trotted across the lawn. Roger shrugged, stuffing his hands in his pockets. “Dunno. Probably drinking in the house.” Your heart sank at the notion of having to share Roger for the evening. You felt better being around him, and didn’t want the relief to end. But, as if reading your mind, Roger piped up. “If they’re too noisy, we can always make a fire back in the barn. There’s a fireplace by the kitchen as well.” He smiled at you when he said it, and something akin to hope fluttered in your chest. You almost hoped the guys would be too rowdy, forcing you and Roger to go back to the more secluded barn. Lower chance of someone interrupting you. Roger threw open the front door and held it for you. “Look at you, so chivalrous,” you mocked him, grinning. Roger nodded at you with fake seriousness. “Chivalry is my middle name, love.” Your laughter was interrupted by voices upstairs. You and Roger exchanged glances, nonverbally agreeing to check it out. You led the way up the steps, pulling your blanket snugly around you. Roger followed you, reaching out to steady you when you stepped on the edge of the blanket and slipped. His fingers splayed across your hip sparked a blush in your cheeks that made you once again glad Roger couldn’t see your face. When you reached the top step, you took in the sight in front of you. Your uncle, along with Paul, Brian, Freddie, Deacy, and a couple others, all sat around an old film projector. You had nearly forgotten the day’s events, and it took you a moment to register what they were all looking at. An old home movie. You recognized the movie type right away. The setting was familiar, too. It was the backyard of your childhood home in Dallas. The home your mother had just moved out of. Then, you heard a familiar voice, as a figure entered the frame. Roger saw it at the same moment you did. Your vision blurred as you recognized the form and features of your late father. Roger put two and two together, looking from the film to you wildly. The world tilted on edge, and you swayed on your feet. Dad was holding a tiny version of you in his arms, happy and laughing. You vaguely remembered his green jumper as he waved to the camera, beaming with pride. The next thing flashing across your mind’s eye was the day he died. You recalled the beige hospital walls, running past nurses to find your dad, reaching his room. Rounding the corner to find your mom and a few doctors hovering over a body that didn’t look like his. You weren’t sure right away if he was even still alive. But he was, because the doctors kept telling you there was no way he could be alive any more. That no one could survive a car wreck like that. They waited as you and your mom made the decision to say goodbye. They watched in detached silence as the monitor went into a flatline after all the tubes and vents had been disconnected. They watched as your heart shattered into a million pieces there on that stupid beige floor. “Why would you play this?” It took you a moment to recognize the strained voice saying those words as your own. Jim opened his mouth to frantically explain, but you couldn’t hear him. The sight of him was the last thing you remembered from that night. Roger reached out towards you again as the ground rushed up to meet you.

Taglist:

@itsametaphorbriansblog @pietrorunsforme @isabella-bby

[twdxjess]

Knight in a Leather Jacket: A Negan Story ( Chapter 4)

Summary: MAJOR FLUFF ALERT!! After a rough ending to your supply run Negan treats you with a surprise dinner.

Pairing: NeganXReader

Word count: 1,348

Previous chapters:  master list

“Is that everything?” You asked Negan as he was setting the newly found supplies on the small wood table.

“Yep, pretty much darlin’.” He smiled while plopping his masculine body on the small built in couch. “ I just gotta say this couch is actually fuckin’ comfy.” You gave Negan a half smile while putting supplies away still thinking of today’s events. “ Is everything okay (y/n)? You don’t seem like your usually “don’t fuck with me badass” self.” Negan mentioned to you.

“ I...I..umm.. that guy...” You weren't sure how to answer without crying, but before you knew it you were balling your eyes out like a baby. “ I’m sorry...can..we.. just...talk about this later?”

Negan nodded his head and embraced you in a giant bear hug. “Yeah, no problem princess.”

After unloading and sorting the supplies within the RV, you and Negan finally decided you were both hungry. So looking over your recent finds, you suggested some dinner options to Negan, “It looks like we can have beans with a side of day old picked berries or canned carrots with a side of, what looks like stale pretzels.”

“Neither," Negan held up his hand and said, "hang on, I’ll be right back..”. Negan grabbed his flashlight and exited the RV. While he was gone you were trying to think of what he was doing. Clearly, he wasn't going to go hunting for animals this late at night. Even though you didn't have a clock you assumed it was about 10 o'clock at night, which without much light can be very dangerous nowadays.  A few minutes later Negan brought back a small sachel bag from his truck, which had looked like it belonged to Indiana Jones. As Negan walked in you sarcastically said to him, “Hey Dr. Jones did you bring me that crystal skull I’ve been asking for?”

“Hey don’t make fun of the satchel... do you know how many hot fuckin’ women I’ve picked up with this thing.” Negan explained while caressing his bag. You couldn’t help but laugh at the man.“There’s that beautiful smile I’ve been missing!” Negan said with cheer. You started blushing at the handsome man’s comment.

Negan took the precious items (being noodles and a can of tomato sauce) from his bag holding them up in the air and boosted, “ How about spaghetti...It’s kinda my specialty.” 

“Wow, first eggs with bacon and now Spaghetti! You do know how to treat a lady.” You responded with some sass. 

“But wait there’s more...drum roll please..” Negan was waiting for you to start tapping on the table, you rolled your eyes at the man. But once you did he announced in a very loud voice, “with this sweet ass bottle of green apple vodka.”

“My favorite alcoholic beverage. How did you know?” You smiled at Negan going for the bottle.

“Well, when I first saw you I noticed you were sleeping with an empty bottle of this girly vodka.So I just figured it was your favorite because if I thought I was going to be eaten alive by ugly ass walkers then I would want to die with my favorite whiskey.”

You briefly interrupted his story, "remember I was just "testing" my RV's "limits" I had everything under control!"

"Yeah, yeah whatever you say doll face...anyways when we were in that mini-mart in the mall I saw this on the shelf so I said to myself what the hell let’s get drunk tonight, in honor of our victorious supply run!”

“ Awww how sweet! You know if I would have to guess it seems like you like me a little bit, Dr. Jones.” Your horrendous british accent came out and Negan started to laugh with amusement.

"Looks like you've got another accent down for the bedroom..huh (y/n)." Negan smirked at you.

"OMG Negan is all you think about is sex?" You threw a stale pretzel at him.

"Not as much as spaghetti! Let's get cookin' good lookin' !" Negan smiled at you turning around to start dinner. You thought to yourself, "It's a good thing Negan can't read my mind because if he could he wouldn't be cookin' right now."

Once dinner was over, you decided you would cleanup since Negan did all the cooking, so you grabbed all the plates and started to soak them in the sink when Negan asked out of the blue, "This is a pretty fuckin’ nice ass RV... did you find it after the world went to shit or have you had it all along?"

"It was my parents..," you paused for a moment then said, "I still remember when they dreamed about getting one of these things in order to travel across the country."

"and did they?" Negan asked sounding hopeful.

"They got about half-way, Kansas I think, but we mainly used it for family camping trips in the summer. They were good people...man, I sure do miss those days."

“ at least you have those memories, my parents didn’t take me anywhere.” Negan responded with envy in his voice.

“ Were they at least decent parents?” You asked.

“ mmmm...I guess... my dad was never around he was always working and when he was home he was sleeping or drunk. And my mom, shit, she was odd! She was always crying or bitching over something. “

“And I thought my parents were strange. How did you survive your childhood with no parental support? 'Cause I don't think I would be the same person today without them always being there for me.”

“ Let’s just say my friends...their family’s were like yours always there supporting their kid. So when it got rough I would just go over to their houses. One time I actually tried running away but then my girlfriend's dad kicked me out. So I just went back home." Negan laughed trying to ease the tension in his voice. He continued to say, "But I do recall having one bomb ass memory with my crazy ass parents. I was about 10, and my dad had gotten a bonus from work. So my parents and I went to two MLB games at two different stadiums, The Braves were playing the Phillies and then The Nationals were playing the Yankees. I guess you can say that was my road trip memory.” Negan smiled at the happy  memory he just shared with you.

You didn't want the rest of the night to go to waste so you grabbed multiple bottles of liquor and yelled, "Okay, no more reminiscing on the past, let's focus on the present and get this party started." 

After playing multiple drinking games you decided to call it quits and go to bed. "This is... fun..*hiccup* and.. all... but I should probab-baabbaa-llly...bed to head *you giggled*..I mean head to bed now." You explained to Negan trying to sound as sober as possible.

Negan laughed at your behavior and said, "Okay doll, I'll just grab my things and head to the truck."

"Wait you're actually leaving? Like going home... to your house? " You whined at his comment.

"No, I'm gonna give you your space and sleep in my truck, tonight."

"But..it's soooo scaarryyy out..there." You sounded like a 4 year old at this point, "'eff your drunken state" you thought. You then said, "It's okay you can sleep with me.." you suggested to Negan while closing in on his beautiful face. Negan smiled and said, "As much as I would love too, (y/n) I don't think you realize how fuckin' drunk you really are."

"No, no, no I'm not drunk watch this.." You stated your case by trying your best to walk in a straight line when suddenly you fell with Negan catching you before you met the floor.

"Woah girl, okay fine I'll stay but I'll be sleeping on the couch tonight. Deal." Negan commanded to you, as if he was making a deal with his employee.

"Fine," you pouted. "But for your information its much more cozier in my bed..." You winked at Negan swaying your hips down the small hallway.

Right then Negan realized just how easy it could be for a man to fall head over heels in love with you.

[365-money-diary]

DAYS 36-42

DAY THIRTY-SIX [FEB 6]

8:30 AM - Make a chemex and get to work.

10:00 AM - Pineapple!

12:45 PM - Heat up cheesy red lentil soup for lunch with a La Croix. 

4:00 PM - Do a 10-minute Peloton ride and a barre class. Barre class gets interrupted as I get text updates for the grocery order. I kind of end up half-assing it toward the end but I’m glad I got it done. 

5:45 PM - Prep the kitchen for the grocery order – incoming of bread, greens, tomatoes, onions, garlic, tempeh, tofu, tortillas, tortilla chips, pretzels, apples, jalapenos, lemons, limes, cabbage, cilantro, vegan sour cream, rice, chickpeas, pinto beans, frozen burritos, bell peppers, eggs, parsley, ginger, BBQ sauce, buffalo sauce, grapes, sprouts, brussels sprouts, green beans, miso, cloves, frozen pizzas, hamburger buns, plant yogurt, cucumber, carrots, chipotle seitan sausages, tomato paste, broccoli, bananas, celery, potatoes, clementines, hashbrowns, red lentil pasta, dijon, seltzer, pineapple, dark chocolate, strawberry jam, vegetable bouillon, zucchini, mushrooms, dried oregano, radish, & snap peas. $342.39

7:00 PM - roast potatoes and make veggie sandwiches. Drink a hibiscus mezcal cocktail too. MAX RELAX for the rest of the eve. It’s Friday baby!

 DAY THIRTY-SIX: $342.39

DAY THIRTY-SEVEN

9:30 AM - Slept in weird vibes. Feel tingly when I stand which means blood pressure is bad. We are seeing friends today and I don’t want to power through it so I just drink some soy sauce. It does wonders and I’m feeling better within 30 minutes. Make a Chemex and watch an episode of dessert person.

10:30 AM - Head out to our pals’ house (If you read my last diary series, they’re the people we used to go to Suns games with) in uptown Phoenix for an outside hang. We meet their new baby and he is super cute. Hang out 10 feet apart and it feels so normal and chill. I also find out that I apparently qualify for the vaccine because I work to facilitate education, so I need to look into that.

2:45 PM - K and I haven’t eaten today and we’re starving. We split a Daiya pizza and eat snack on chips and salsa while we wait. I also eat a clementine. 

5:30 PM - Feel my body starting to fade and I’m kind of barred out. Decide to walk to the lake. I do a bad job of getting my HR up but I still enjoy my time outside. 

8:00 PM - I’m not hungry at all from all the salt. Decide to eat a small bowl of cheesy lentil soup for dinner but mostly just pound the water while working on a post for oil-free Greek dressing.

8:30 PM - I notice someone posts a sample sale for Splits 59 which is one of my favorite workout brands. I’m hitting 250 Pure Barre classes this week and use it as an excuse to celebrate. Buy 2 pairs of leggings and a cute tank. $70

10:00 PM - Definitely at that point in the day where I feel like I’m just passing time.

DAY THIRTY-SEVEN TOTAL: $70.00

DAY THIRTY-EIGHT

8:45 AM - Spend some time in bed adjusting my fantasy bball team. Still set to be undefeated in the more competitive league. Eventually make a chemex and post my oil-free greek dressing around the web. 

10:30 AM - I listen to a session on Mined, cook brunch (tofu/egg tacos with soyrizo) and and frantically get ready for M’s baby’s 1st bday. 

1:05 PM - Arrive at the party… what I thought was going to be just me, M, his wife, his mom, and his kid is actually them plus 6 other people hanging in the backyard. Not my favorite thing I’ve had to deal with this pandemic. Everyone is outside/masked. I learn that 2-3 of them have already been vaxxed but it’s still kind of a weird situation for me. I know if K was with me it would be bad news, so I am grateful he stayed behind today.

2:00 PM - Hightail it outta there once 4 more people show up. Listen to music really loud in the car and scream some lyrics on my way home. Feels good man.

2:45 PM - Continue listening to tunes at home, digging thru my Spotify discover weekly for the first time in a while and building a set that I want to record sometime next week.

3:15 PM - K’s brother and wife stop by and we do an outside masked hang with them for about an hour and a half. We haven’t seen them since December of 2019 so this is really really great.

6:00 PM - K and I keep talking about getting takeout but nothing sounds good so we just decide to do veggie sandwiches and potatoes. Drink wine.

7:00 PM - I decide to work on my tax stuff all evening instead of exercising. It takes 2 hours but I get all of my stuff together and send it to the guy. Pour myself a celebratory glass of wine after.

10:00 PM - K and I watch Beverly Hills Ninja in bed. I’d never seen it before and it was so good.

DAY THIRTY-EIGHT TOTAL: $0

DAY THIRTY-NINE

8:00 AM - Chemex. Pure barre weekly charge. $15

10:00 AM - A local bar down the street has been closed since March and a pal posts a GFM on their behalf. I donate to it. Eat a banana and a clementine $50

11:30 AM - Prep salad for the week - greens, gochujang tempeh, miso dressing, soba noodles, snap peas, carrots, and cucumber. Finish about 2 minutes before a call and I’m scrambling to appear composed.

5:30 PM - Do a pure barre livestream while K runs to go pick up dinner from a local vegan spot. K gets a fried chicken seitan sandwich and I get a burger. It’s really really delicious and I’m super stuffed after.

DAY THIRTY-NINE TOTAL: $65

DAY FORTY

8:30 AM - Chemex. Work is still kind of wild but I make a lot of progress on my report this AM so I’m feelin’ good there.

9:30 AM - Banana and clementine.

12:00 PM - Salad.

4:30 PM - Try to do a PB live stream (my 250th class) but Zoom’s server is being weird so I do a 30 min Peloton ride instead with a 5 min stretch.

6:00 PM - Veggie sandwiches with potatoes for din again. 

8:00 PM - A friend from highschool, N, and I chat and it’s really really great. I drink 2 glasses of wine while we catch up. 

DAY FORTY TOTAL: $0

DAY FORTY-ONE

8:30 AM - Oof my quads are sore. Make a chemex.

10:00 AM - Eat a banana.

11:00 AM - We’ve been dragging on the KN95 thing but decide to go for it today. Buy a pack of 50 in assorted colors, some Healthy Blood iron from Garden of Life, and poop bags for the dog. (Counting this expense as “home”) $98.04

12:00 PM - Spend time doing an analysis that doesn’t really tell me much but it was worth looking into. Eat gochujang tempeh salad

2:00 PM - I have a zoom scheduled with a work pal who I haven’t seen in forever. She tells me (much like the few others) that we qualify for the vaccine. I decide to make the appointment based on her feedback and after 40 minutes of messing with the system was able to get in on Feb 19.

5:00 PM - Take my 250th Pure Barre class! I am sweaty and it’s great.

6:45 PM - K isn’t really hungry so I eat the last of the red lentil soup.

7:30 PM - We have plans to see a friend in town from Ohio. Meet up with him at his hotel and sit on the front patio masked up for a while. I am mostly cold and have to pee.

9:45 PM - We arrive back home. I snack on a few pretzels, drink a glass of wine, eat some grapes and some dark chocolate.

DAY FORTY-ONE TOTAL: $98.04

DAY FORTY-TWO

8:30 AM - Chemex. My allergies are bad this AM. Send emails out - looks like my tax return is going to give me $1200 but then I owe $200 on my state. I always owe on state. One day… Also send a note to the loan guy who says I’m definitely going to close tomorrow at 8AM so we shall see.

10:30 AM - Tax invoice comes in. $220

11:00 AM - Boil some more soba noodles for salads. I’m basically going to be in meetings until 4:30 PM today so I’m trying to get ahead of all my stuff. Also do a check for all of the house painting things that came over the past week. Looks like it’s all here and I can start painting this weekend!

12:00 PM - Make salad in between calls and crack open a La Croix.

4:30 PM - My calls are done, do a 10 minute Peloton climb ride and then do a Pure Barre stream.

8:00 PM - Eat the last of the veggie sandwiches for dinner. Drink 2 glasses of wine and some dark chocolate. Something about tonight is off in my brain. I don’t have the capacity to be productive so I just watch episodes of The Challenge on my laptop while K plays Rocket League.

DAY FORTY-TWO TOTAL: $220

[lalalalori]

I have a strange relationship with meat.

From what I can remember, I did not like eating meat as a child of 5+. I'm not sure if it was because of compassion for animals, being disgusted by the sight of raw meat, or what. My whole family likes meat and growing up my mom would make roast beef, chicken, turkey dinners, etc. The Hawk would grill burgers, steaks, and chicken outside. I didn't want any of it.

To me, it seemed like a texture thing. I didn't like steak that was pink or chewy. I didn't like stringy chicken or roast beef. I didn't like how ham looked or smelled. I had all types of reasons for why I wouldn't eat meat. However, I didn't mind having ground meat in tacos. For a long time I wouldn't eat hamburgers either though so it's hard to make comparisons. It's difficult to make sense of my choices and recall the details clearly.

I never ate deli meat in my lunches as a kid. I wanted peanut butter sandwiches only. I would refuse to eat meat at dinner and would normally try to sneak it to my sister next to me at the table or underneath to the dogs. My parents started watching me closely and would sometimes make me sit at the dinner table alone till I cried, still refusing to eat it. I would rather go to bed hungry than eat meat.

My grandpa (Hawk's dad) was especially hard on me for not wanting to eat meat at his house. I understand that growing up in the depression you had to eat what was given to you because people were starving and you had to eat what your family could afford. My parents both grew up in strict households and ate what they were given, but overtime I think I wore them down when it came to what I ate.

My mom used to try and sneak me peanut butter on hamburger buns so I could pretend I was eating a hamburger out at the picnic table without my grandpa noticing. I have one distinct memory of sitting at the corner of their kitchen table crying and trying to get myself to eat chicken that had gone cold. I was so upset that as soon as I tried to chew it, I instinctively threw up all over my plate.

To this day I have most of the same feelings about meat. I've had stints of vegetarianism in my late teens and twenties. As an adult I appreciate being able to make my own food choices. I don't put limits on myself to say I'm never going to eat meat, but I don't eat meat that I don't want to. And I don't appreciate pressure people ever put on me to eat meat because I'm probably a bit traumatized from growing up and having it pushed on me so much. I hate going over people's houses for meals because I'm afraid of what will be served and I don't want to be rude and refuse to eat.

Over the past few years I've thought more about humane treatment of animals and have watched quite a few documentaries on the manufacturing of meat. That will scare people enough to usually change the way they eat for a few days or weeks. The big change for me was spending more time around pigs at petting zoos and a local farm. There are two pigs that randomly live next to the park by my mom's house even though it's a pretty standard suburb with a smaller backyard. Spending more time with pigs made me feel more compassionate towards them. They're adorable and I love to see their happy little tails wagging. I loved gingerly feeding Chubbs a handful of carrots at the farm and how he got mud all over my hand from his snout. I read more about their personalities and lifestyles. The only pig based products I was even eating on a somewhat regular basis were pepperoni and bacon. It wasn't that hard to stop eating bacon, but I still have pepperoni on pizza a few times a month.

In addition to pigs, I also find cows to be very cute. I love their big brown eyes and love photos of baby calves. I feel more compassion towards mammals than I do with birds. Maybe because I am a mammal too. Maybe it's because birds aren't normally that cute. The only thing is that over the years I have eaten more burgers, meatballs, etc. My guilt over eating cows and my mindfulness about where food comes from has caused me to eat even less beef than ever before.

I never liked chicken or turkey because of their texture, but would consider ground turkey over ground beef and turkey pepperoni as substitutes. I just worry about processed foods and nitrates.

It just seems like the best solution to me is to eat more whole food sources of protein like legumes whenever possible. I can still eat eggs if the texture doesn't gross me out too much. I don't like eating overly processed meat substitutes because of all the random chemicals mixed in.

We do use Greek yogurt a lot in recipes, which is rich in protein. I'm definitely not going vegan because I still rely on dairy fairly regularly. We have been drinking almond milk with our coffee instead of cow milk for years, but I've considered switching to making my own oat milk for environmental purposes.

There's so much to consider when it comes to what you eat and drink. Where it came from. How it was made. How it was manufactured. How it affects the environment. How it affects your body and health. Being more mindful about this is more important to me than the convenience and ease of the alternative.

[tinuviel-undomiel]

Because of H.P. Lovecraft Part 2

Here is Part 2 @thedooblydont . I hope you enjoy it.

—————————————————————————————————————

​“What the devil?” Gold muttered under his breath and stood up. “Bae, is that you?”

​“Nope, just one of Santa’s elves,” was the reply, followed by footsteps and then Bae entered the dining room. His brown eyes, identical to his father’s, stared first at Belle, then at the candles and the dinner set out on the table. “Whoa, were you on a date? Mom will never believe this.”

​Gold glowered at him. “Thank you for that endorsement, and speaking of your mother, why aren’t you with her and Killian?”

​Bae shrugged. “She said they had a big PR event come up all of a sudden. She gave me some bus money and sent me home. She said she called.”

​“Ah, well I suppose that call got lost some how,” Gold said dryly, “I’ll be sure to have a nice long chat with her later.”

​Belle gave Bae a smile. “Are you hungry, Bae? Why don’t you join us?”

​“Yeah, I can eat,” he said.

​“Plates are in the kitchen,” Gold told him. Bae walked past Belle’s chair and headed for the kitchen to retrieve his own dinner. Gold looked back at her and whispered, “I apologize for this.”

​“Don’t be sorry,” she said, “He’s a great kid. I don’t mind in the least.” The fact that he hadn’t corrected Bae on the notion that this was a date made up for everything.

​Bae returned with a plain blue ceramic plate, obviously not interested in the antique china, and immediately began to fill it with a hefty portion of the pot roast, a mountain of potatoes and the remainder of the carrots. “As you can see, my son is part teenager, part pig.”

​She let out a laugh, but Bae shot his father a look. “I haven’t eaten since lunch.”

​“Most people haven’t eaten since lunch.”

​Belle bit back her smile and took another sip of her wine. This would certainly be an eventful night at this rate.

​The boy was about to set his plate down at the spot next to Belle, but he stopped. His eyes peered at the book on the table, then lit up with delight. “Whoa! It’s Chthulu, cool!”

​Belle’s mouth dropped open for a moment before quickly turning into a grin. “You like Lovecraft?”

​Bae nodded, setting his dinner to the side and picking up the book instead. “Oh yeah. I love science fiction and horror. My friend, August, and I are part of this online club. We started reading Chthulu mythos last year.”

​“That’s wonderful. It’s something you and your dad have in common,” Belle said. Across the table, Gold swallowed thickly, but she was still looking at Bae. “I brought that because I thought your dad would like to look at it?”

​“What?” Bae said with a snort, “Dad hates this kind of stuff?”

​“Graphic novels?” she asked.

​“No, sci fi. I made him watch It when it came out and he said…” Bae looked over now at his dad, finally noticing the way he was silently promising to ground him forever for his big mouth. “Uh…he said…you know I have to go to the bathroom.”

​Belle had never seen a kid bolt out of a room so fast. She was certain he could have beaten the Flash in that moment. Once he was gone, she looked back at Gold who was studying his plate like he’d never seen it before. “Um…I’m a little confused. I thought you liked Lovecraft.”

​“I do,” Gold said, still not looking at her. She said nothing, waiting for him to finally take a peek. When he did, the truth was written on his face. “Very well, I’ve been caught,” he grumbled.

​“I don’t understand,” she said, “Why would you lie to me about that.”

​“I…well…it’s embarrassing.”

​“More embarrassing than being ratted out by your teenage son?” she asked.

​Gold sighed. “Fair point.” He toyed with a wrinkle in the tablecloth, still unable to look at her. “I was returning one of Bae’s books for him when I met you. You…you were so excited that I had a book by Lovecraft; you even said he was your favorite…I just…I wanted to impress you.”

​“So you just kept checking out books you didn’t like? Did you even read them?” she asked.

​“I tried,” he confessed, “but I just…it’s not my taste. So I would look up the summaries online instead so I could talk to you about them.”

​Belle sat there for a moment, digesting everything he had just said. On one hand, she was perturbed that he’d been lying to her the entire time, but…how could she be angry about this? She couldn’t help the huff of laughter that spilled out from her lips. “You did all of this just so you could see me?”

​Gold nodded weakly. “I know, it was stupid.”

​“Yes,” Belle agreed, “especially since I’ve had to start adding my own copies of the books for your to check out.”

​Gold’s head snapped up to look at her. “What?”

​“Do you really think Storybrooke has so many copies of Lovecraft’s works available?” she asked with a grin, “Most of the people in this town read bodice rippers or Harry Potter.”

​His brown crinkled in that adorable way. “You were giving me your own books to read?”

​“Well I had to do something to make sure you kept coming by to see me,” she said.

​He shook his head, the nervousness replaced now with sheepish joy. “So we are both idiots.”

​“Apparently so.” How silly it was to look at it all now. She had liked him the moment they met, so his little charade was unnecessary. Then again, perhaps she should have realized the truth all along. He’d never been particularly chatty about the books, mostly asking for her ideas on them and just quietly listening to her ramble on with that heart-melting grin of his.

​She was done being demure and foolish. Gold had been bold enough to ask her out to dinner. It was her turn now. Belle slid out of her chair, her heels clicking against the hardwood floor as she walked over to him. Gold gave her a quizzical look, but didn’t move when she stopped just a few breaths away from his face. “I don’t want to be stupid anymore,” she whispered.

​Belle leaned forward to press her lips to his. Gold froze for a moment, but then his mouth softened and he leaned in towards her, opening to let her. She pressed further, deepening the kiss and placing her hands one both sides of his face. That wasn’t enough for Gold. He took a hold of her waist and pulled her forward until she had no choice but to fall into his lap, quite happily. Belle was now sitting on his lap with her knees pressing into the cushion of the chair on either side of him. She could already feel him beginning to stir with arousal. Briefly, she wondered if Ruby would applaud her or berate her if she let it go any further tonight, but she would never get the answer.

​“Holy shit!”

​They broke apart with a gasp, both of them turning to look at the door. Bae was standing there, gaping at them in horror. Belle ducked her reddening face into Gold’s shoulder. Gold glared at his son. “Bae, I don’t want you to ever say that word again.”

​“Wouldn’t you swear if you caught grandpa making out with the librarian on the dining room table?”

​Belle bit back her grin into his shoulder, but Gold wasn't nearly as amused. “It’s hardly that illicit.”

​“Whatever,” Bae said, “I’m stealing a twenty from your wallet and going to Granny’s for dinner. No way am I eating here now.”

​“Be back by ten!” Gold called after him.

​“You sure you want me home tonight?” Bae called back.

​“Ten!”

​“Okay, okay,” then Belle heard him say something about “August never going to believe this” before the front door opened and closed.

​“How long before the whole town knows?” Belle muttered into her shirt.

​“Probably an hour,” Gold said with a sigh.

​Terrific. There would be no way to avoid Ruby’s salacious teasing, nor Granny’s stern disapproval. Belle slid out of Gold’s lap, the moment ruined between them. Still, as Gold straightened his tie a bit, she realized the evening didn’t have to be over.

​“Well, how about I clean this up and then we could have some coffee and dessert?” he suggested.

​Belle smiled. “I would like that very much.” She helped him pick up their plates and bring them over to the kitchen. He got the coffee started soon enough and she saw the pastries were already plated for them. Gold used a French press for the coffee and put everything onto a tray, including a pitcher of cream and jar of sugar. He led her into the living room so they could sit on the couch and enjoy their dessert.

​Belle poured herself a cup and picked up a pastry. She moaned at the delightful tartness of the raspberry and sweetness of the glaze. Gold sipped at his coffee at the moment, not ready for his dessert just yet. “So, what books do you actually read?” she asked after swallowing her bite of pastry.

​“I enjoy Mark Twain,” he said, “Sir Walter Scott as well, and Charles Dickens. I’m not ashamed to admit that I am fond of Jane Austen as well.”

​Her eyes brightened at that. “Ah, a rare breed of gentleman,” she teased, “Well, I think I have some books you might like.”

​“I don’t know,” he said with a grin, “right now I’m awfully grateful for H.P. Lovecraft.”

[lovemesomesurveys]

FOOD SURVEY

1. What’s the last thing you ate? Ramen.

2. What’s your favourite cheese? I love many different kinds of cheese. Cheese makes everything better.

3. What’s your favourite fish? I don’t have one.

4. What’s your favourite fruit? Banana.

5. When, if ever, did you start liking olives? I don’t know when exactly, but I’ve liked black olives for as long as I can remember. I’ve never liked green olives.

6. When, if ever, did you start liking beer? I never liked beer.

7. When, if ever, did you start liking shellfish? Never. 

8. What was the best thing your mum/dad/guardian used to make? Not used to, they still do cook delicious meals. A few of my faves are my mom’s lasagna, meatballs, and tacos and my dad’s spaghetti and scrambled eggs. Also, I’m not a big burger person and I don’t like steak or porkchops, but the rest of my family loves when my dad makes those things. 

9. What’s the native specialty of your hometown? Probably Mexican food.

10. What’s your comfort food? Ramen.

11. What’s your favourite type of chocolate? Milk and white chocolate. 

12. How do you like your steak? I don’t.

13. How do you like your burger? Not a big burger person, but if I eat one it’s gotta be well done. I don’t want any red in my meat. *gag*

14. How do you like your eggs? Scrambled, sunny-side up, hardboiled, deviled... I love eggs.

15. How do you like your potatoes? Like every way they come, ha. I also love potatoes. 

16. How do you take your coffee? With flavored cream or cream and sugar.

17. How do you take your tea? With a packet of sweetener. 

18. What’s your favourite mug? It’s blue on the outside and yellow on the inside with Peter Pan and the gang on it. 

19. What’s your biscuit or cookie of choice? Sugar cookies or shortbread.

20. What’s your ideal breakfast? Scrambled eggs with shredded cheese and spinach, country gravy, hash browns, and coffee.

21. What’s your ideal sandwich? Either bologna and sharp cheddar or colby jack cheese, mustard, and mayo or turkey, salami, either of those cheeses, spinach, mayo, and mustard. Also, a pickle on the side and some olive oil for dipping. I miss a good deli sandwich, though. That sounds really good.

22. What’s your ideal pizza: White sauce, feta and ricotta cheese, spinach, garlic, and crumbled meatballs with pesto on top and ranch for dipping.

23. What’s your ideal pie (sweet or savoury)? The only pie I like is cheesecake.

24. What’s your ideal salad? Lettuce, spinach, tomatoes, black olives, shredded cheese, shredded carrots, pieces of hardboiled egg, and ranch. I used to love peppercinis as well, but I can’t eat spicy stuff anymore. :(

25. What food do you always like to have in the fridge? I like to have some kind of sandwich fixins so that I can always make a lunch. <<< Same. And eggs. And shredded cheese cause I like to add it to my ramen.

26. What food do you always like to have in the freezer? Healthy Choice steamers pesto pasta meal things, pizza, and Smart Ones breakfast meals.

27. What food do you always like to have in the cupboard? Ramen. 

28. What spices can you not live without? Garlic, salt, black pepper, oregano, basil, chives, paprika (a must for deviled eggs). 

29. What sauces can you not live without? Ranch, olive oil, pesto, marinara, white sauce, mayo, sour cream, gravy, sausage gravy...  I don’t know for sure if a few of those fall under the sauce category, but whatever.

30. Where do you buy most of your food? Walmart and another local grocery store.

31. How often do you go food shopping? We do two big grocery shopping trips a month with a few quick trips in between if we need something.

33. What’s the most expensive piece of kitchen equipment you own? The fridge, probably.

34. What’s the last piece of equipment you bought for your kitchen? Hmm. I think it was the home beer dispenser my brother and I got my dad for Christmas. 

35. What piece of kitchen equipment could you not live without? Keurig, fridge, stove, and microwave.

36. How many times a week/month do you cook from raw ingredients? I never do. I’m not a cook at all, the only things I make are microwavable, cooked in the oven (frozen foods like pizzas), or made on the stovetop (ramen).

37. What’s the last thing you cooked from raw ingredients? Wait, unless you count making hardboiled eggs for deviled eggs. If so, then there’s that. However, that just consists of me putting the eggs in a hardboiled egg cooker thing. I don’t have do much, ha.

38. What meats have you eaten besides cow, pig and poultry? That’s the only kind I eat. 

39. What’s the last time you ate something that had fallen on the floor? I don’t do that ever. If it falls on the ground, it’s trash now to me.

40. What’s the last time you ate something you’d picked in the wild? I’ve never done that.

41. Arrange the following in order of preference: Italian, Mexican, Chinese, Indian, Thai, Sushi – Italian, Mexican, Chinese. I don’t eat Indian, Thai, or sushi.

42. Arrange the following in order of preference: Vodka, Whiskey, Brandy, Rum – I don’t drink.

43. Arrange the following in order of preference: Garlic, Basil, Caramel, Lime, Mint, Ginger, Aniseed – Garlic, basil, mint, caramel, ginger, lime. Not sure what aniseed is.

44. Arrange the following in order of preference: Pineapple, Orange, Apple, Strawberry, Cherry, Watermelon, Banana. – Banana, strawberry, watermelon, apple. I don’t like orange, pineapple, or cherry.

45. Bread and spread: Wheat, white, sourdough, bagels. Pesto, olive oil, peanut butter, mayo, garlic spread, cream cheese. 

46. What’s your fast food restaurant of choice, and what do you usually order? I don’t have one anymore. 

47. Pick a city. What are the best dining experiences you’ve had in that city? Bubba Gump restaurant is fun place with good food.

48. What’s your choice of tipple at the end of a long day? I don’t drink.

49. What’s the next thing you’ll eat? I’m not sure.

50. Are you hungry now? A little bit. 

51. Do you eat your breakfast everyday? I rarely do now. I was doing pretty good for awhile, but then I started sleeping in past 2PM and having late lunch. 

52. At what time do you have breakfast? If I do eat breakfast food nowadays, it’s for dinner.

53. At what time do you have lunch? Like 4 or 5PM.

54. What do you have for lunch? Usually either a sandwich or a Healthy Choice steamers microwave thingy.

55. At what time do you have dinner? Around 8PM.

56. What do you have for dinner? I have a small list of foods I eat cause I’m picky and have food/appetite issues, but I’ll have something like spaghetti and meatballs, burritos/tacos, breakfast for dinner, or takeout like Wingstop or pizza. Sometimes I’ll just have another sandwich.

57. Do you light candles during dinner? No.

58. How many chairs are there in your dining room and who sits in the main chair? We don’t have a dining table or even a dining room anymore. We had to turn that space into a bedroom.

59. Do you eat and drink using your right hand or the left one? Right.

61. Mention the veggies that you like most: Spinach, broccoli, green beans, and corn.

62. What fruit and vegetable do you like the least? I don’t eat a lot of fruits or veggies to be perfectly honest. As bad as it sounds, I haven’t had any fruit the past few years. Spinach is the only veggie I have somewhat often. And like I mentioned in this survey, there are fruits and veggies that I like, I just don’t eat them often.

63. You like your fruit salad to have more: I don’t like fruit salad.

64. You prefer your vegetable salad to contain more: Spinach.

65. What’s your favourite sandwich spread? Mayo, pesto, or an olive oil/vinegar mix.

66. What’s your favourite chocolate bar? Reese’s white chocolate. 

67. What’s your favourite dessert? Brownies, cupcakes, cheesecake, muffins, donuts. 

68. What’s your favourite drink? Coffee and Starbucks Doubleshot energy drinks (that’s coffee, too, but still it’s different).

69. What’s your favourite snack? Movie theater popcorn.

70. What’s your favourite bubble gum flavour? Minty flavors.

71. What’s your favourite ice cream flavour? Strawberry.

72. What’s your favourite potato chip flavour? Sour cream and onion and original Ruffles with ranch dip.

73. What’s your favourite soup? Pork ramen.

74. What’s your favourite pizza? Didn’t I describe that already?

75. What’s your favourite type of dish? Just give me boneless garlic parm and lemon pepper wings from Wingstop, please.

76. What food do you hate? Seafood.

77. What’s your favourite restaurant? Wingstop.

78. Do you eat homemade food, or food delivered from outside? Both.  

80. Who cooks at home? My parents and brother.

81. What kind of diet (e.g. low-fat, high-fiber, high-carbohydrate, balanced diet etc.) do you have? I’m supposed to incorporate a lot of protein.

82. How do you keep yourself fit? I don’t do anything.