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peachfaeryy · 3 years ago

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Hi 🌙

It's my birthday right now. I'm 26 now.

1. What is my fondest childhood memory?

My fondest childhood memories definitely consist of the lovely people who I grew up with and derived my sense of humor/silliness from: my cousins Anna & Emily, Savannah -- my childhood best friend, and Kaleb, my eternal crush. These memories consist of them in elementary school, camp, and my grandma's house in San Antonio.

2. What is my favorite comfort food?

Probably nachos/chips/chips & queso.

3. What’s my favorite way to exercise?

Uh...DANCE.

4. Am I a morning person or a night owl?

I lean more towards night owl but I try to avoid both.

5. If I could have any superpower, what would it be?

The currency of youth.

6. Do I prefer cooking, baking, or neither?

I love both cooking and baking :) I find both extremely rewarding and cathartic.

7. Am I an introvert or an extrovert?

Ambivert strongly introvert-leaning.

8. What superhero do I find most relatable?

None, I detest all superheroes.

9. What is my favorite season of the year — and what do I love most about it?

Winter because it provides me with the most amount of physical comfort. I love sleeping in a very cold room, opening my windows with no AC on. Sitting in my car listening to music/eating with engine off. Less humidity. Food is tastier. Style is better.

10. Do I believe in the existence of angels?

Not particularly? Well, yes but I believe they have absolutely no role or effect on our world.

11. What are my favorite TV series?

American Crime Story (OJ & Versace), Fleabag, Atlanta...90 Day Fiance, Game of Thrones

12. What was the last movie I watched (or the last movie I enjoyed)?

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest (let's gooOoo)

13. Am I a tidy person or a messy one?

I used to be very messy but not I'd consider myself pretty tidy. My nature is messy though.

14. Am I afraid of the dark?

Nah.

15. Am I more of a coffee person or a tea person?

Mostly coffee.

16. What talents do I possess that I’m proud of?

I don't have any natural-born talents but I suppose my ability to teach myself a new skill over time.

17. Do (or did) I like school?

I loved school and literally work at a school.

18. Did I go to the prom?

Unfortunately, yes.

19. What is my idea of a perfect date?

Definitely grabbing pizza at a nice restaurant.

20. Do I enjoy DIY or crafts?

Not at all, sounds awful, lol.

21. Do I forgive others easily?

Yes. But not so much anymore now that I'm older and more experienced. My instinct/nature is very forgiving.

22. Do I have a nickname — or did I ever have one?

None.

23. Do I have any phobias?

I'm scared of most anything anything everything...I'd say my daily fear is mistaking my razor for my toothbrush in the shower.

24. Have I ever met one of my heroes? If yes, who was it, and how did it go?

No?

25. Do I speak any other languages?

No, but I told myself I would learn Spanish before I die.

26. Have I ever traveled outside my native country?

Yes! I have been the Mexico and Ireland.

27. If money were no object, what would I want for my next birthday?

Maybe a trip to South Korea/Germany/Rhode Island

28. Have I ever been addicted to something?

Yes. But as far as substances? I'm addicted to Nsaid.

29. When I was a kid, what did I want to be when I grew up?

I wanted to be a wildlife photographer when I was a kid-kid.

30. Have I ever won something?

$75 with scratch offs

31. Have I ever narrowly escaped death (or serious injury)?

I'd say so, yes.

32. Do I prefer baths or showers?

Showers.

33. How am I feeling right now?

Changed.

34. Have I ever played any sports?

Soccer, Basketball, and cross-country

35. Do I prefer the beach or the mountains?

Beach, but I feel connected to both.

36. Do I prefer a Mac or a PC?

Uh...PC?

37. Do I prefer dogs or cats (or some other pet)?

Cats...I honestly do not like dogs at all.

38. Do I have any piercings or tattoos? Would I like to get any?

I have three tattoos: three rune, a sword, and a butterfly. All of which are on my arms.

39. Do I have kids?

Not right now.

40. Do I have siblings?

None.

41. What do I do on a typical Friday night?

Same thing I usually do: practice dance/choreo for a couple of hours. Read, cook, watch Youtube. If I’m going out, I’ll maybe grab dinner/hang with my friends. I MAY go to ~the club~ in a blue moon.

42. If I could go anywhere in the world with unlimited funds, where would I go?

SOUTH KOREA

43. What do I do to relax?

Shower, listen to music. Do my makeup for fun.

44. What do I do to wake up or boost my energy levels?

Blast Stray Kids

45. Would I rather have unlimited energy or unlimited money?

Unlimited money

46. Am I a collector of anything? If yes, how big is my collection?

I collect Kpop bullshit...(albums, photo cards, posters, etc.) essentially merch from my favorite artists.

47. What sort of gift would I want from my significant other on Valentine’s Day or on my birthday?

JUST flowers. All I care about it getting flowers on both of those days.

48. Which would I rather avoid — excess heat or extreme cold?

Excess heat.

49. Would movie genre would I rather watch: action, romance, fantasy, or horror?

Of those choices: horror. I also like a solid journey story.

50. Have I ever been on a diet? If yes, how did it go?

More like a mini eating disorder, lol? I went through phases where I only consumed 1500 calories.

51. If I could live anywhere for a month with whomever I choose, where would that be?

Greece with I suppose...someone I get along with.

52. Have I ever gone camping? Or do you look at a tent and think, “I feel like that’s the wonton wrapper, and I’m the filling.”

Yes, several times. I actually thoroughly enjoy camping.

53. What’s the last song I listened to?

Ribs -- Lorde

54. What’s my current obsession, and how much have I spent on it?

Anything kpop...hours. I’m talking hours and hours.

55. What’s a favorite book of mine?

We Need to Talk About Kevin

56. What should I be doing right now?

Sleeping.

57. What’s my best feature?

Physically? Boobs.

Personality? I would say kindness but that’s basic. Witty? Self-discipline.

58. What’s the most expensive article of clothing (or shoes) that I own?

Damn...shoes...? $100?

59. What is one thing I could not live without?

Music. My one coping mechanism and literally the reason I’m alive and functional.

60. What’s one thing I can’t leave the house without (other than keys and my wallet)?

Phone... BC packet?

61. What’s one of my pet peeves?

Slow walkers

62. What wild animal would I love to have for a pet (as long as it didn’t eat anyone)?

Maybe like...a toucan?

63. What’s my favorite drink?

An ICE COLD fizzy SODA boiii

64. What’s my spirit animal, and do I own anything featuring that animal?

I guess I’m very cat-like. I used to have a lot of cat stuff, but not anymore...

65. What’s my favorite restaurant, and what’s my favorite splurge order?

I like basically any fast food joint. I’m also a sucker for Chili’s. I’m really basic. A splurge order for me would be ordering a margarita with my meal.

66. What’s my favorite movie — or the best one I’ve seen in the last three years?

I’ve been obsessed with We Need to Talk About Kevin, Pirates of the Caribbean...I’ve been wanting to rewatch Little Miss Sunshine

67. What’s a favorite hobby of mine?

Dancing :)

68. What’s my favorite go-to snack?

Health-wise: apples and peanut butter. But if I don’t care: chips

69. What are my must-haves for watching a movie in a theater?

True interest in the film

70. What’s my favorite kind of competition to watch (sports, cooking, etc.)?

Not really into competition shows.

71. Would I rather get an electric shock or get an intramuscular shot (tetanus, etc.)?

Electric shock?

72. What’s my dream car?

Bella’s shitty red truck let’s gooooo

73. What are the must-haves in the home of my dreams?

LOTS of open space, sunlight, heated bathroom floor

74. What’s my favorite sandwich?

Chicken salad, BLT, plain peanut butter

75. What’s my favorite kind of dinner? (comfort food, four-course, take-out Chinese…)

Comfort food

76. If I could change my eye and hair color, what color/s would I choose?

I would DEF change my eye color to a warm brown and my hair to very dark brown. I’m growing my natural hair out. I’m going dye-free right now.

77. Who is my favorite fictional character (or one of them)?

Jack Sparrow

78. What’s my longest relationship so far (other than family)?

4 years...

79. What is my star sign — or do I usually avoid that question?

I DO NOT care about this but I’m a Leo

80. What is my lucky number, or what is a favorite number of mine?

Uh? N/A

81. What city do I live in now, and what’s my favorite thing about it?

I still live in Denton and I detest it.

82. What state do I live in now, and what do I love about it?

Texas, its diversity.

83. If I had to move to a different state, where would I rather go?

New Mexico

84. Have I ever colored my hair? If yes, what’s my favorite hair color experiment so far?

Yes, most of my teen and adult life. But my “crazy” hair experiment right now is going dye-free and wearing my natural color.

85. Whom do I miss right now?

My 14-year-old self

86. Have I ever made a mistake that someone else refused to forgive me for?

Apparently.

87. Do I have a celebrity crush? If yes, who is it?

JOHNNY DEPP and all of Stray Kids lol. Jungkook?

88. If I could meet any celebrity for coffee/tea and a chat, who would it be?

Marina Diamandis

89. As desserts go, would I rather have ice cream or cheesecake?

Ice Cream

90. Would I rather live in a house or an apartment, and why?

A small house.

91. Would I rather live in a treehouse, a cave, or a submarine?

Treehouse

92. What is one big goal that I want to accomplish this year?

Move out of D*nton.

93. What do I want to do for a living?

I’m happy being a teacher, but ultimately I’d like to counsel kids.

94. When I feel sick, where do I usually feel it first or most noticeably?

My head.

95. What sort of smartphone do I use, and what made me choose it?

Uh? Android?

96. What’s one movie that I’ve watched repeatedly? What do I love about it?

I watch signs pretty frequently. Midsommar? I connect with its characters because they seem like real actual people? I’ve been wanting to rewatch the Lovely Bones.

100. If I could afford one, would I rather hire a chef, a personal assistant, or a housekeeper?

Housekeeper!

97. What is one food that I refuse to eat?

Liver

98. What exotic food would I be willing to try?

I’d be open to trying most any food.

99. What is one item on my bucket list, and what made me choose it?

I’m kind of working on it now. I want to put a few years in while I’m young and able to become a very good dancer. I know that to obtain that it IS going to take years. It’s something that’s really important to me because I’ve always wanted that for myself but never made actual steps to obtain/execute it. And ultimately, I want it because it allows me to feel like my true self.

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perlukafarinn · 5 years ago

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Movies (I saw) of the 2010s, ranked

Because I had lots of better things to do but no inclination to do them.

As I went through all the new releases I watched this decade, a few things came to mind:

I missed so much! Most recently, I still haven’t seen Parasite, The Lighthouse or The Irishman. I’ve also seen only one of Disney’s live action remakes, two out of four Star Wars films of the decade, and I’ve missed quite a few of Marvel and DC’s outings. My tendency to mostly watch older films came to bite me in the ass here. But c’est la vie, there’s only so many hours in the day!

A huge part of my viewing history took place during film festivals, so festival movies are way over-represented here. I’m not mad about it.

There’s not too many outright bad movies on my list, because I tend to avoid movies that look bad or like I might not like them (shocker, I know). Even the ones in my bottom ten aren’t as dreadful as I was expecting.

There’s no way I can rank all these films numerically! What about movies that I can tell are good but just aren’t for me? What about movies that are bad but enjoyable? How can you compare tired Oscar-bait with soulless blockbusters? It’s impossible!

Hence these categories. I’m doing a top 10 worst and best, and the categories go roughly from worse to better movies, but otherwise this isn’t based on quality so much as what clever category names I could come up with (or couldn’t, as the case may be). I’m also listing the movies within each category alphabetically because that’s even less ranking I need to do.

Buckle up, this is over 6000 words...

Oh, and if you don’t feel like reading the whole thing I still encourage you to reply with your own favorite movies of the decade!

The Worst Exactly what it says on the tin. These movies aren’t just unenjoyable or disposable, they are actively unpleasant to watch.

American Hustle (2013) Wait, this got how many Oscar nominations again??

The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug (2013) This movie is so bloated and yet they couldn’t find any time to actually develop most of the main characters? I had such a bad time watching this one, I ended up skipping out on the last part of the trilogy.

Hurricane Bianca (2016) This looked like it might be enjoyably bad but it wasn’t. I still love Bianca Del Rio, don’t get me wrong, but her humor is not the kind you build a whole movie around, yet alone two. And yet…

Hurricane Bianca: From Russia With Hate (2018) Yeah, I watched them both. I’m a simple woman: I see Katya in a trailer, I watch. I really shouldn’t have bothered, this one is even worse.

Iron Man 2 (2010) Superhero fatigue got me bad in the past few years but even before then I hated this movie. Literally nothing enjoyable here, I was aggressively bored while watching. The Lack (2014) This is a movie about women, written and directed by a man, called “The Lack”. You might think I’m being uncharitable to say this movie is entirely about penis envy but the writer/director himself confirmed this at the Q&A I was at. This is why Q&As are always a bad idea, people!

Left Behind (2014) This one tips into “enjoyably bad” at times but in the end, it’s still two hours of your life wasted on a movie meant to make its Evangelical viewers feel vindicated in their horrible beliefs. Morgenrøde (2014) I have a fairly high tolerance for slow movies but this movie is sloooowwww and literally nothing happens in it. This is the movie that taught me not to trust it when festival brochures use the word “contemplative”.

Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief (2010) Just dreadful. This is the worst kind of film in my books: the kind made to follow a trend, not to tell a story.

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (2011) It’s been eight years since the fourth PotC movie came out?? God, it’s been a long decade.

The Utterly Disposable I didn’t exactly have a bad time watching these but they left no impression on me.

Alex Strangelove (2018) Netflix has released so many unremarkable-looking teen movies this decade. This is one of the few I bothered to watch and it’s cute enough, I guess.

Fyrir framan annað fólk (2016) I am Icelandic but I don’t watch a whole lot of Icelandic movies and I feel kind of guilty about that. Not guilty enough to give a boring movie a pass, though.

Ghostbusters (2016) This super did not need to exist and not even my love for Kate McKinnon makes it any less disposable.

The Great Gatsby (2013) At least it’s pretty.

Hot Tub Time Machine (2010) I remember this getting a few laughs out of me but that’s about it.

The Imitation Game (2014) I think I just… don’t like Beneditch Cumberbatch? Sorry. This movie is the perfect expression of the bland, middle-of-the-road biopic, with the added mishandling of the subject’s sexuality.

Isn’t It Romantic (2019) I love a good satire but this ain’t it, chief. This movie isn’t doing anything that Crazy Ex-Girlfriend hasn’t done 100x better.

John Carter (2012) If you’re gonna throw this much money into something, you could at least hire a charismatic lead actor. Then again, it seemed to work for Avatar. Magic Mike (2012) I did like that this sexy stripper movie kept showing how unhappy the main character is doing what he does as if that wouldn’t totally ruin the fantasy.

Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates (2016) Watched this on an airplane, which is fitting. This feels like a quintessential airplane movie; it’s mildly entertaining but ultimately disposable enough that it has completely slipped your mind by the time you reach baggage claim.

Paul (2011) Occasionally funny, I think? Barely remember it tbh.

Planetary (2015) There’s some interesting points buried in here but the movie’s too busy trying to look important to actually get them across effectively. Also feels surprisingly padded for just 80 minutes. Valentine’s Day (2010) Taylor Swift was actually kind of funny in this, which was a pleasant surprise. Zero impact otherwise.

“I Have No Memory of This Place” Movies I literally could not remember watching until I had read the entire synopsis, but for one reason or another was not comfortable calling “disposable”.

Bobby Sands: 66 Days (2015), The Departure (2017), Hell Is Empty: All the Devils Are Here (2016), Innsæi (2016), Last of the Elephant Men (2015), Late Summer (2016), Speed Sisters (2015), Una (2016), The War Show (2016) Lumping all of these together because they’re all festival movies I have hardly any memory of and that I may have in fact fallen asleep over.

Incendies (2010) Chalk this up to me seeing it almost a decade ago. When I finally remembered it, I could vaguely recall finding it affective. Probably due for a rewatch.

Prisoners (2013), Rush (2013), Warrior (2011) Around 2012-2014 I was working my way through IMdB’s top 250 list and I saw so many forgettable movies about men committing various violent acts. Literally can’t remember a single thing about these movies.

I’m So Sick of Superheroes Dear God Make It Stop I’d probably like some of these more if not for superhero fatigue but that is the trade-off for total global dominance. A couple of superhero movies did escape this category and you’ll see them later on my list.

Thor (2011), Iron Man Three (2013), Thor: The Dark World (2013), Captain America: Winter Soldier (2014), Guardians of the Galaxy (2014), Ant-Man (2015), Avengers: Age of Ultron (2015), Captain America: Civil War (2016), Avengers: Infinity War (2018) Lumping all of Marvel’s movies in this category together because I don’t really have a lot to say about Marvel anymore. Special mention to Winter Soldier for being the movie that soured on me the most and to Age of Ultron for in hindsight being the beginning of my superhero fatigue.

The Dark Knight Rises (2012) Boy, this trilogy ended on a sour note. Man of Steel (2013) Confused story structure aside, this movie is utterly grey and joyless. It’s also army propaganda!

X-Men: Days of Future Past (2014) The only reason I watched this was because it was on IMdB’s top 250 list. Peter Dinklage was good in it, if I recall correctly.

Don’t Like This Nope.

12 Years a Slave (2013) Very uncomfortable to sit through, which I get was the point, but I’m not sure it was the right choice. It honestly feels like misery porn.

Black Swan (2010) I’ve long made peace with the fact that Darren Aronofsky will just never click with me.

The Broken Circle Breakdown (2012) This movie is exhausting to watch because of the near constant country music playing. Loudly.

Kate Plays Christine (2016) This is a movie about a really interesting topic but instead of the real tragedy that actually happened it chooses to focus on an actress’s fictional struggle to connect with her role. I think the movie wanted us to think the struggle was real (heh) but for that they would’ve needed a better actress. La La Land (2016) I love classic musicals and I really wanted to like this movie but in the end I just couldn’t. As a movie it’s okay but it’s not a good musical and the whole white savior of jazz thing was……….. an odd choice.

Last Days in the Desert (2015) I’m a sucker for good, thoughtful religious films. The idea of Jesus and the devil being played by the same actor was intriguing to me and I liked that the devil wasn’t evil so much as just tired. But ultimately, this movie felt a little too cold for me.

Magic Mike: XXL (2015) I have no idea why every critic on the planet seems to love this movie. Strippers aggressively thrusting their crotch in your face is not sexy, it’s uncomfortable!

A Silent Voice (2016) Melodramatic and not in the fun, over-the-top way.

Vonarstræti (2014) It’s good but it’s just not for me.

Wir Monster (2015) I saw this at a Q&A screening and decided I didn’t wanna stick around after the credits rolled. On my way out, I tripped and almost fell onto the actors as they were walking past me. That experience had a way bigger impact on me than the movie itself. Make of that what you will.

Guilty Pleasures/So Bad They’re Good An enjoyably bad movie is a better watch than a middlingly competent one.

#REALITYHIGH (2017) Incredibly clichéd and tries way too hard to be “hip” or “lit” or whatever it is the kids were saying back in 2017. Don’t care, I’ve seen it four times.

Bridget Jones’s Baby (2016) The first Bridget Jones is a highlight of the genre. The second one is just bad but the third tips over into enjoyably bad. I also loved having Renée Zellweger back on my screen!

A Cinderella Story: Christmas Wish (2019) Recently watched this with my sister while baking and wrapping Christmas presents. It’s a terrible movie but we had fun (mostly by making fun of it).

Descendants (2015), Descendants 2 (2017), Descendants 3 (2019) I’m not apologizing for this even though I feel like I kind of should.

The Kissing Booth (2018) This movie is like a 13-year-old’s first fanfic come to life so of course I’m gonna love it. Even if the love interest is incredibly unappealing.

The Twilight Saga: Eclipse (2010), The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 1 (2011), The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 2 (2012) Who would’ve thought at the start of the decade that Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson would turn into indie darlings starring in one critically acclaimed film after the next? I love that for them.

Oscar Bait but I’m Not Biting Not sure the Oscars weren’t a mistake tbh.

The Artist (2011) I kind of enjoyed this but ultimately it’s watered-down Hollywood history made appealing to modern audiences and its aim is far higher than its reach.

Birdman (2014) It was a fun watch but it left no impression.

Darkest Hour (2017) Technically a good movie but such obvious Oscar bait I just couldn’t fully enjoy it.

The Help (2011) Let’s leave the white savior narrative behind in the 2010s, shall we?

The King’s Speech (2010) I love Colin Firth. I barely remember this movie.

Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri (2017) Don’t love that the racist cop is the most fully fleshed-out character in this movie while the black characters are all unnamed extras.

Whiplash (2014) It’s just drumming, J.K. Simmons, it’s not that serious.

I Feel Like I Should Like This More This category is mostly three camps, as you’ll see.

120 battements par minute (2017), 69 Minutes of 86 Days (2017), Fire at Sea (2016), I, Daniel Blake (2016) All important movies with a worthy message that I just couldn’t connect with on a personal level.

Adieu au langage (2014), Before We Vanish (2017), Bridesmaids (2011), Jagten (2012), A Separation (2011), Timbuktu (2014), Transit (2018), Winter’s Bone (2010) Critically acclaimed, maybe it’s just me?

Her (2013) The rest is all movies I expected to like more than I did. I’m not sure what didn’t click with this one. It’s been a while since I saw it.

Get Out (2017) I wasn’t gonna watch it because I don’t really watch horror so when I finally caved, I knew pretty much everything about it. Watching a movie the first time knowing everything that happens in it and after seeing it dissected for months on end by every critic on the planet does take a lot of the enjoyment away, as it turns out.

Gone Girl (2014) Really thought I’d love it. It’s good just didn’t click with me.

The Grand Budapest Hotel (2014) It’s pretty. Liam Neeson is always fun.

Pacific Rim (2013) Mako is great and I enjoy the chemistry between her and Raleigh but ultimately this one just kind of slipped out of my mind as soon as I’d seen it.

Toni Erdmann (2016) It’s too damn long!

The Tree of Life (2011) I just watched this the other day so it’s very possible my opinion will change. I was expecting to love it but I… didn’t. It felt like this movie was trying too hard to be profound and important, at the cost of actually saying something, well, profound and important.

No Strong Feelings One Way or the Other I actually have nothing to say about any of these movies and most of them are good but they had to go somewhere.

The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel (2011), Boyhood (2014), Brave (2012), Creed (2015), Django Unchained (2012), Exit Through the Gift Shop (2010), Flavours of Youth (2018), Frozen (2013), The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey (2012), Interstellar (2014), Intouchable (2011), The Jungle Book (2016), Monsters University (2013), Rogue One (2016), Schaste moe (2010), Shutter Island (2010), Three Identical Strangers (2018), To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before (2018), Undir trénu (2017), Wreck-It Ralph (2012)

Middling Festival Fare I have nothing to say about these either but I couldn’t lump them in with the others. I mostly liked them more than the movies in the previous category and they took bigger risks. Some of them might even be great, just very much not my cup of tea.

3 Tage in Quiberon (2018), Acid Forest (2018), Amateurs in Space (2016), Barakah Meets Barakah (2015), Der Andständige (2014), Disappearance (2017), Dreams by the Sea (2017), En fremmed flytter ind (2017), Føniks (2018), The Girl Down Loch Aenzi (2016), God Exists, Her Name is Petrunija (2019), Gods of Molenbeek (2019), Jag är Ingrid (2015), Já, Olga Hepnarová (2016), Looking for Oum Kulthum (2017), Mister Universo (2016), Neruda (2016), The Raven and the Seagull (2018), Rester vertical (2016), Slow West (2015), Sugar Coated (2015), Summer Survivors (2018), Tickled (2016), Worldly Girl (2016)

Maybe Not the Best But a Lot of Fun Better than those guilty pleasures but generally pretty flawed. Austenland (2013) A very cute little romcom. Extra points for Jennifer Coolidge, the most underrated character actress of this century.

Baby Driver (2017) I feel like revisiting this one might not be as enjoyable for reasons that have nothing to do with the film’s quality but I had fun watching it in the theater.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1 (2010) I was a fan of this franchise from the start so even though this movie is kind of dour and dark, it was still a blast to watch. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 (2011) Do I love every choice this movie made? No. But I saw this at a midnight screening, in full cosplay with my friends, in a theater packed with fans. It was a once-in-a-lifetime experience.

I, Tonya (2017) For a movie that contains so much abuse and such a bummer ending, it’s surprisingly entertaining!

The LEGO Batman Movie (2017) Lego Batman is my favorite Batman.

Nothing Like a Dame (2018) I just really love Maggie Smith.

On - drakon (2015) This movie feels like it was pitched as “Twilight but with dragons!”. It’s fun, though, and it’s got an interesting aesthetic and a proactive heroine who gets herself out of trouble with ingenuity and bravery.

Sing Street (2016) I love the soundtrack to this movie and the characters are incredibly endearing. The story is very simple in not a great way but it doesn’t need to be deep to be enjoyable.

Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017) I like that they skip the origin story for once and keep the scope of it fairly limited. A very nice little slice-of-life teen movie combined with a superhero flick. Tom Holland is a good Spider-Man. Would’ve been better without Iron Man tbh. Star Trek Beyond (2016) I feel like they got the characters right here, which was a problem for the first Star Trek of the rebooted trilogy. It’s a fairly inconsequential movie but it’s a blast.

Star Wars: Episode VII - The Force Awakens (2015) I’m not the biggest Star Wars fan so I don’t have a lot of opinions here. It’s fun! Not a lot more I want from Star Wars. Ultimately didn’t intrigue me enough to wanna see the rest of the trilogy.

Ten no Chasuke (2015) This movie is a little weird, a little goofy and a lot of fun. I like the guy who just constantly lives through different movie plots because the angel writing his life can’t think of anything original, that tickled me.

Good Movies I Don’t Have a Clever Title Here They’re good movies, Brent.

Barbara Rubin and the Exploding NY Underground (2018) An enjoyable, well-made documentary but considering its subject matter disappointingly conventional.

Black Panther (2018) This movie could have been much better had it not been under the constraints of the MCU. Still one of the best offerings of the genre this decade.

Boy Meets Girl (2014) We need more movies like this. Not just for representation (although that is important) but also because cinema needs a greater variety of stories than are currently being told.

Brooklyn (2015) The scope of this movie is very small but the characterization is nuanced and every aspect of the film goes towards furthering that.

Bugs (2016) The focus of this movie is split between its very interesting subject matter (the use of bugs as food around the world) and the chefs we’re following around who kind of seem like dicks and honestly drag the movie down a lot.

Captain America: The First Avenger (2011) Steve Rogers is one of my favorite MCU characters, purely on the strength of this movie. In a world where no one seems to know how to adapt Superman to film, it’s nice they got this one right.

Cloud Atlas (2012) This movie has such lofty ambitions and I admire it for that, even if the execution is off at times. But the use of yellowface is..... bad. It’s very bad and the directors should have known better.

Cold War (2018) I love the music in this, which is good because it is near constant.

Damsel (2018) I love a deconstructed western and I love Robert Pattinson. It’s a shame that the female character at the center of the story wasn’t better developed, considering how much screen time she got.

Damsels in Distress (2011) This movie is quirky and cutesie, which isn’t everyone’s cup of tea (and usually isn’t mine) but I love it. Some solid acting goes a long way.

Der kommer en dag (2016) This movie is two hours of children suffering yet it comes across as so optimistic? I think it’s the space race stuff. Who doesn’t love the space race?

Frantz (2016) I am always down for stories that reckon with the effects of WWI.

Future Baby (2016) There’s a scene in this movie where a surrogate mother gives birth and it is both very graphic and heart-wrenching. If the rest of the movie were more like that one scene, it’d be on my shortlist for the best of the decade.

Fyre (2019) How was Fyre Festival a real thing that happened?

Girls Don’t Fly (2016) Girls don’t fly because the man training them to be pilots is a dick and treats them horribly. It’s a bummer but important to uncover.

Hidden Figures (2016) Kevin Costner’s character needed to be written out - black stories that don’t involve “good” white people are both possible and necessary. But I adore all three main actresses and they do some amazing work.

Hjartasteinn (2016) The subject matter is cliché but it’s handled beautifully.

The Lego Movie (2014) Everything is awesome! Everything is cool when you’re part of a team!

Journey to the Shore (2015) I honestly wasn’t sure how to feel for most of the run time of this movie but by the end it got me.

On Body and Soul (2017) This movie feels like a dream and I mean that in a good way.

The Salvation (2014) Have I mentioned that I love deconstructed westerns? Mads Mikkelsen is always on point, even with garbage material, but he’s got some good stuff to work with here.

Searching for Ingmar Bergman (2018) This movie made me more interested in its director, Margarethe von Trotta, than Bergman himself. Everyone should check out The Lost Honour of Katharina Blum!

The Shape of Water (2017) This movie is very much like a fairy-tale, which means it’s not particularly nuanced or complicated, but it is beautiful.

Still the Water (2014) This movie starts with a cow being graphically slaughtered and yet the only word I can think of to describe it is “gentle”. But maybe skip the first five minutes if you’re sensitive to blood or animal death.

Studio 54 (2018) How were the 70s even real?

Sumarbörn (2017) It’s a rare feat to get such good acting out of child actors.

Thor: Ragnarök (2017) The best MCU movie. It’s a lot of fun without once losing its heart, which is a rare thing for Marvel (just google the words “bathos” and “mcu”, other people have covered this already).

Warm Bodies (2013) The cutest rom-com of the decade features a zombie as its main lead. I’m not mad about it.

Wild Tales (2014) The dissonance between the realist shooting style and the cartoonish violence often results in some excellent dark humor. The rest of the time, it just feels kind of off.

The Wolf of Wall Street (2013) Jordan Belfast is both a lot of fun and utterly despicable and the movie is not afraid to go as balls to the walls as it needs to.

The Young Karl Marx (2017) So like... Marx and Engel were into each other? At least a little, right?

Great Movies Also No Clever Title

Andið eðlilega (2018) Okay so I don’t watch a lot of Icelandic cinema but from what I have seen, I am incredibly encouraged by the direction it is heading. Call this exhibit A.

Ága (2018) This movie is very slow and not a lot happens but that’s kind of why it works so well. It hooked me in and had me genuinely interested in every uneventful scene.

Brecht’s Threepenny Film (2018) I walked away feeling like I’d understood maybe one third of this film but it left me with a feeling of exhilaration that’s hard to define and that few films manage.

Les aventures extraordinaires d'Adèle Blanc-Sec (2010) Adèle Blanc-Sec is like Tintin and Indiana Jones combined except way better. In a just world, she would be a much more popular character and the reported film trilogy would have actually happened.

En duva satt på en gren och funderade på tillvaron (2014) This movie is delightfully weird and messed up. Nothing more to say here.

The Favourite (2018) I was honestly expecting to be let down by this movie after all the overwhelming praise but as it turns out, it deserved all of the accolades and possibly more.

Gravity (2013) This movie was kind of marketed as “realistic sci-fi” and while I can’t say it felt particularly real, the emotional arc sure as hell did.

Inception (2010) The complexity of this film was vastly over-hyped but it’s still the best work I’ve seen by Nolan (though to be fair, I still haven’t seen Dunkirk). Kreuzweg (2014) The film is composed of just fourteen still shots, representing the Stations of the Cross. That could have come across as really gimmicky but it works because the shots are well staged and the material is just that good. Loveless (2017) This is the bleakest, most depressing movie I think I’ve ever seen. The Martian (2015) The best thing about this movie is the way it shows the world coming together just to save this one guy. International cooperation is the future!

Paradies: Liebe (2012) This is a movie about sex tourism and it is as unpleasant to watch as that sounds. But it’s also incredible.

Paradies: Hoffnung (2013) The third in Seidl’s paradise trilogy (I missed the middle part, don’t remember why). Just as messed up as Liebe but mildly more palatable.

Une nouvelle amie (2014) I saw this movie with my dad, which was kind of awkward, but that doesn’t take away from its beauty. We really do need more stories like this.

Tale of Tales (2015) I am always here for a fairytale adaptation, particularly ones that stick close to the dark, gruesome, humorous tone of most traditional fairytales.

Welcome to Norway (2016) This movie is just really, really funny.

White God (2014) If you’re sensitive to animal abuse then this is not the film for you. The dogs in this movie actually won the Palm Dog Award and it was well deserved. They’re very good dogs! Tom of Finland (2017) How refreshing to see a movie about a historical gay person that isn’t all death and tragedy! It does have some of that, unavoidably, but it’s also a lot of fun and ultimately is a celebration of a very important sub-cultural figure.

Vinterbrødre (2017) I wasn’t expecting a movie set in a mining community to look this beautiful.

Wonder Woman (2017) The best superhero movie of the decade, despite the slightly messy third act. It’s such an earnest, hopeful movie and unlike most films of the genre, it’s not afraid to take itself seriously or to come across as cheesy. Superheroes are cheesy! That’s one of the best things about them!

Amazing Animation I don’t like animation being singled out from live action as if it’s somehow less, but I wanted to highlight how many excellent animated films were made this decade.

The Breadwinner (2017) I’ve seen this film’s production company, Cartoon Saloon, been called the Irish version of Disney but Disney has never made anything half this daring. Coco (2017) The ending made me sob like a little kid. This movie doesn’t get enough credit for being one of only two Pixar films this decade to live up to their early work.

How to Train Your Dragon (2010) The flight scenes in this movie gave me actual vertigo and I loved it.

How to Train Your Dragon 2 (2014) The rare sequel that’s actually better than the original! For all the franchises that exist out there just to continue milking that cash cow, it’s nice to see something get continued because the filmmakers had more stories to tell.

Loving Vincent (2017) This movie has been criticized for a weak plot, to which I say: it’s an animated movie made up of oil paintings! Do you really care about the plot? Sometimes the spectacle is all you need, especially when it’s something that touches you as deeply as Vincent van Gogh’s art does.

Moana (2016) Moana’s scenes with her grandmother and Te Fiti are up there with some of the most emotionally evocative stuff to come out of Disney studios. It’s a pity the rest of the movie couldn’t quite live up to that.

Rise of the Guardians (2012) Mostly, this movie just looks incredible. I am also an eternal sucker for Chris Pine, even if his voice sounds weird coming out of a teenager’s mouth.

Song of the Sea (2014) This is the most beautiful animated film I’ve ever seen outside of Studio Ghibli’s best, both the look and the feel of it.

Tangled (2010) I know I sound like an old fogy but this movie would’ve been much better if it had been traditionally animated. Still pretty good!

Toy Story 3 (2010) It’s been nine years since the third Toy Story came out?? Christ, this decade.

Your Name (2016) I really should be watching more anime.

Zootopia (2016) Disney’s best work since Treasure Planet, which is an underrated masterpiece. It’s almost worth the resurgence in furries (jk furries, you’re okay).

This Is Why You Guys Should Be Watching Documentaries Because documentaries are a seriously underrated art form.

Ama-San (2016) This is the kind of cinema vérité filmmaking I live for.

Behind the Curve (2018) The existence of flat earthers remains baffling (well, maybe not that baffling when you look at the rest of our society) but this documentary is excellent.

Dawson City: Frozen Time (2016) This is a documentary about a cache of lost silent films that were found in the 70s and most of the movie is silent, with information being conveyed through text and images. It’s these kinds of choices that elevate a good documentary beyond just educational programming.

Exodus: Where I Come From Is Disappearing (2016) Absolutely heart-wrenching. It’s difficult to watch but the issues it discusses shouldn’t be looked away from.

Foodies (2014) There’s a foodie in this movie who rates his food on looks before he even tastes it and a chef whose signature dish is a dessert called “sex on the beach” which includes a very realistic-looking used condom. I wanted those two to meet but they never did and that is my one criticism of this film.

Free Solo (2018) I developed a fear of heights after watching this movie.

The Great Green Wall (2019) I had never heard of the great green wall before seeing this movie. It’s so surreal to get a window into a society where no one is arguing about climate change because they are already undeniably feeling the effects of it. And by strange, I mean incredibly sad and upsetting.

How to Let Go of the World: and Love All the Things Climate Can’t Change (2016) Speaking of climate change. This movie takes on climate grief and shows why you can’t stop at that, why you need to push past it and keep fighting. I’d argue The Great Green Wall actually does that same thing and better but it’s still a very necessary message.

Into the Inferno (2016) Werner Herzog is just. The best. Especially his documentaries.

Kismet (2014) This movie examines how art affects people by way of one of the least respected art forms out there (soap operas). I just really love that premise and the execution is even better.

Merchants of Doubt (2014) Honestly fuck every single person making money by hastening our descent towards climate catastrophe. Good movie, though.

My Scientology Movie (2015) This was the first Louis Theroux movie I saw and it’s a great one to start with. For all they’ve been treated like a joke, Scientologists are actually pretty scary.

The Other Side of Everything (2017) The personal is the political in this film. What an incredible look at the ways our past shapes our present and future.

Pervert Park (2014) This movie fucked me up.

The Prison in Twelve Landscapes (2016) The conceit of this film is looking at the US prison system indirectly by keeping the camera outside the actual prisons and off actual prisoners. It works incredibly well, just astounding documentary film making.

Push (2019) Just when you thought you couldn’t hate the rental market any more!

Safari (2016) Fuck trophy hunters.

The Silence of Others (2018) I didn’t even know about the Spanish 1977 Amnesty Law until I saw this movie. Maybe that’s just my own ignorance but I feel it shows how necessary documentaries like these are.

Tower (2016) I cried like a baby watching this movie. Using rotoscope animation to tell the story of the 1966 shootings a the University of Texas was I think an excellent choice and made for a unique documentary.

Visages villages (2017) Agnès Varda is possibly my favorite director and it hurts to leave this one off the “best” list (call it an unofficial #11). Still not sure I shouldn’t have swapped out one of the actual top ten for it.

Welcome to Sodom (2018) The world is so fucked up.

It Stayed With Me Movies that left me reeling and that I couldn’t get out of my head for days after watching (call all of them an unofficial joint #12).

The Act of Killing (2012) Speaking of fucked up! It is absolutely surreal seeing these mass murderers try to justify their actions to the interviewers. “I was just doing my job” is no excuse and trying to use it as one is actually reprehensible.

Arrival (2016) I didn’t actually see it until this year and I felt it couldn’t possibly live up to the hype but it did! It’s reminiscent of Interstellar in that in this ‘hard’ science fiction story the ultimate solution is based on an emotional revelation but Arrival pulled it off much better. The Congress (2013) This is basically two movies in one; one is fairly grounded sci-fi and the other is just a straight up acid trip in film form. In any case, Robin Wright is absolutely flawless.

Carol (2015) Cate Blanchett please date me. Grüße aus Fukushima (2016) I’m always gonna be a sucker for a movie about women connecting and helping each other through trauma.

High Life (2018) I saw this one knowing nothing about it and ngl it shocked me a bit. The way it incrementally got more and more fucked up made me feel a bit like a frog being slowly boiled alive. November (2017) The atmosphere this movie creates is unreal. Maybe not the strongest characterization but it balances a feeling of magic and wonder with just utter bleakness and it left me reeling. Paterson (2016) I can’t even fully explain why I loved this movie so much or why it stuck me. Mostly, it’s just so damn cozy. The Square (2017) I mean, that scene with the ape man was fucked up right? Tangerine (2015) I don’t think filming on your iPhone is the future of cinema or anything but it does show how accessible filmmaking is slowly becoming. Also, that scene of Alexandra performing Toyland is one of the best musical moments in cinema this decade and that is not up for debate. Team Hurricane (2017) I’ve never seen a movie with an aesthetic like this before (it’s very vaporwave) but this film is about and was mostly shot by a group of actual teenage girls. It’s a little melodramatic in places but at the same time that feels very sincere and the girls all clearly have a lot of talent and a lot to say. Varda par Agnes (2019) This movie probably wouldn’t have stuck with me so much if Agnès Varda hadn’t died earlier this year. She is a truly unparalleled figure in film history.

The Best According to me, anyway. But I’m right.

Cameraperson (2016) This is a different kind of documentary filmmaking. What it most reminds me of is Beaches of Agnès (no, I’m never done talking about Agnès Varda) but even that is not a perfect comparison. It’s deeply personal while also covering an insane variety of topics. Embrace of the Serpent (2015) This movie feels like a dream and I mean that in the best way possible. At turns beautiful, brutal, and absolutely baffling. The Florida Project (2017) I’ve seen this movie criticized for glorifying poverty and I can’t discount that opinion. For my part, I thought this movie did an incredible job balancing the world as seen through the eyes of a carefree child enjoying her summer and the dangerous, precarious reality of living in poverty. Inside Out (2015) When Pixar gets it right, they get it really right. The Love Witch (2016) I just really, really love witches. The best looking live action movie of the decade. The fact that writer/director/editor/producer Anna Biller hasn’t made another film since is an actual crime. Melancholia (2011) No movie has ever hit me this hard in such a visceral way; I was miserable for days after seeing it. Lars von Trier is an asshole but he knows how to film depression. Mad Max: Fury Road (2015) Believe the hype, it is actually perfect. And I don’t even like action movies! Moonlight (2016) It’s rare to see a movie this deeply, devastatingly human. The final two shots of the film, paired together, are literally the most beautiful thing I have ever seen in a theater. Kona fer í stríð (2018) The best Icelandic movie that’s been made yet. Halldóra Geirharðsdóttir is a national treasure. Shoplifters (2018) I mean, who’s expecting a movie called ‘Shoplifters’ to be so devastating? It’s such a painful film but it is also heartwarming and intimate. Un couteau dans le coeur (2018) This movie is strange and funny and violent and gorgeous. I’ve never had such a good experience at a film festival as I did the two times I went to see this movie.

#well it's done #this was mostly written for an audience of one aka me #but hey this took a while so do check it out if you want

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letters-from-the-three-houses · 6 years ago

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If you don’t mind, can I have Disney headcanons for the blue lions? What movies they like, how much they like it, stuff like that. I’ve been,, all over the place with the Ashe Aladdin AU (I made this an ask w/ bae-leth) So I feel very Disney. Maybe the other houses too?

disney!! here are the aladdin!au asks in question for the curious: [1] [2]

i did all the houses because why not, and i included affiliated companies (e.g. pixar) so it gave me more freedom (i added a 'true' disney film for everyone just in case though). there are also non-disney films that i included for some of the characters bc they seemed like the type to like them c:

hope you like it!

black eagles:

edelgard - she’s the type that watches it only when she has free time. she doesn’t exactly have a favourite, but she thinks all of the toy story movies are great (pure disney: the great mouse detective, for its mystery and sherlock holmes-like main character; the climax scene keeps her on the edge of her seat)

hubert - (watership down, wallace and gromit, any tim burton film) he likes more serious, psychological thriller movies so disney doesn’t really suit his tastes. if he had to choose, james and the giant peach (pure disney: hunchback of notre dame)

dorothea - she’s loves all of the musicals, and the ones with great songs. so films like the princess movies, enchanted, tarzan, etc. are right up her alley! she lives and breathes high school musical. her favourite disney song of all time is cinderella’s 'a dream is a wish your heart makes', and she tells everyone to give sequels a chance

ferdinand - he won’t admit it, but he likes the aristocats because of the soundtrack. doesn’t watch/care for disney though

bernadetta - the chronicles of narnia was her entire childhood. whenever she rewatches it, she eyes the fantasy cg with pure fascination and daydreams about being in narnia (pure disney: live action alice and wonderland for the same reason)

caspar - (sharkboy and lavagirl, home alone) hercules! when he saw it as a kid, he idolized hercules so much he wanted to grow up like him. you can still catch him whistling 'zero to hero' every now and then. cars is also a fun ride, as is sky high

petra - she thinks mulan is awesome. she admires quasimodo (hunchback of notre dame) for triumphing despite all the difficulties he encounters as well, and talks about it to hubert sometimes

linhardt - (space jam) holes. the movie is juuust weird enough for him to stay awake and not doze off, but even then he’s kind of meh. either version of fantasia is way too weird though—he’ll ditch it before you can even say 'mickey' (pure disney: honey, i shrunk the kids)

blue lions:

dimitri - (the polar express) lion king because he’s basic there’s something admirable about simba’s journey to become a king. also because lions. he unironically enjoyed frozen and likes a lot of classic christmas films

dedue - (prince of egypt) all of disney’s nature documentaries; he thinks the penguins are cute. monsters, inc. makes him happy because he imagines himself as sully, felix as mike, and dimitri as boo

felix - pirates of the caribbean. he can try to hide the fact that he once cosplayed as jack sparrow when he was fourteen, but his friends will never live it down. in a similar vein, ghost in the shell 2 and zorro bc he’s an edgy weeb

mercedes - (sound of music) mary poppins. she likes the dynamic between mary and the children, and 'spoonful of sugar' is her go-to song while she does chores. bridge to terabithia also has a special place in her heart. she doesn’t actively go out and watch movies though

ashe - (an american tail, balto, land before time) he a) loves animals and b) loves the ones centred around families, so he likes brother bear, finding nemo, lilo and stitch, etc. his favourites are bambi and coco bc bambi kind of reminds him of himself and miguel’s family is his ideal family. also, both of the goofy movies. without fail, he will always tear up once the credits roll for the fox and the hound

annette - (all of the barbie movies) a hardcore disney fan. her favourite princess is rapunzel (tangled)—bc exploring the world? curious about everything? perky and sweet? she really connects with her! would sing 'i see the light' in the shower. loves one hundred and one dalmations, lady and the tramp, and a lot of the cute romantic ones. goes on a disney marathon with mercie and ingrid every summer

sylvain - he once saw the incredibles on the big screen and thought it was great. would also enjoy the sorcerer’s apprentice if he bothered to watch it (pure disney: ratatouille)

ingrid - (charlotte’s web) only watches disney with annette. fond of up and all of the winnie the pooh films for their heartwarming stories

golden deer:

claude - the emperor’s new groove. the constant thrills and kuzco’s sass keep him engaged throughout the whole film. he also likes zootopia for its intrigue and well-timed jokes, and he managed to correctly guess who the mastermind was way before the movie ended. also loves robin hood and national treasure. he’s probably a huge movie junkie so he likes a lot more films outside of disney!

lorenz - (who framed roger rabbit) he doesn’t really enjoy any of the movies. if you twist his arm, he’ll maybe say pocahontas (bc he secretly likes 'colours of the wind')

hilda - if you ever complain about the princess diaries, she’ll kick you out of the dorm and never let you back in until you apologize. she’s more of a fan of the live action films, especially if they star lindsay lohan

raphael - (cloudy with a chance of meatballs, kung fu panda, all of the lego movies, despicable me, ice age, madagascar) chicken little. it’s just a coincidence that a lot of the movies he likes coincidentally involve food, he swears. he likes chicken little because it’s fun and aliens. a big, big fan of happy-go-lucky, light animated films—disney or not

lysithea - (jimmy neutron) wreck-it-ralph for its zany story. she’s the one that thinks the 1940 version of fantasia is a cinematic masterpiece

ignatz - cult classics like the sword in the stone, the black cauldron, treasure island, and atlantis bc my boy has good taste he likes the adventure and world building. milo is his spirit animal

marianne - (anastasia) wall-e. she can relate to it really well, and her heart warms once wall-e finds a friend in eve. like dorothea, she also enjoys enchanted and a lot of the disney sequels (lion king 2 and cinderella iii, to name a few)

leonie - (how to train your dragon) brave + the rescuers. probably rolls her eyes whenever there’s a romance scene on the screen. just in it for the action and adventure

[asks are open!]

#fire emblem three houses #fe16 #fe3h #edelgard von hresvelg #black eagles #dimitri alexandre blaiddyd #blue lions #claude von riegan #golden deer #asks #headcanons #alternate universe #anon #prerelease #edit: why won't the read more work #tumblr why #sorry for the long post everyone!

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scum-belina · 5 years ago

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Aight, since you're on such a movie binge lately, and since I usually love your recommendations, what are your top 10 movies?

Upon being asked this nearly 48 hours ago, my brain, despite having watched probably 1000 movies of all different genres and from multiple countries was like "the only movies you can remember is shrek 1 2 and 3" but after digging through my memory I THINK I have managed to find some of my top favorites movies. My favorites are defined solely on how much they managed to impact me and inspire me so here we go in no particular order!

1. “The Best Offer” (2013) by Giuseppe Tornatore. This is the most recent film I’ve seen and is by far one of my all-time favorites. It is at least 96% of everything I’ve ever wanted in a movie and I’m still reeling from the borderline perfection of the whole thing. Unsurprisingly I got interested in it bc of the older man/ younger woman thing, but nothing about their relationship development was cliche or shallow, so much so that it pleasantly surprised me, and then threw me through 25000 emotional roller coasters that were also on fire. It’s a drama, romance, comedy, mystery, thriller, and tragedy without being an absolute mess and idk if I will ever get over it I love it so much.

2. “Melancholia” (2011) by Lars Von Trier. A film that portrays severe depression through an apocalyptic metaphor and actually manages to skillfully get away with it. I love this movie as much as I hate it for being so raw and painful yet beautiful at the same time. Everyone in this is great but Kirsten Dunst truly is a formidable actress. This is the only LVT film I’ve fully enjoyed also bc all of his others have too much of a pretentious assholeishness to them and he just tries too damn hard to be edgy and it wastes the entire storyline.

3. “The Phantom Of the Opera” (2004) by Joel Schumacher. A classic in every respect of the word. It’s got the twisted love tale that I’m an eternal sucker for PLUS they burst out into song abt such matters all the time??? LOVES IT. Everyone with even the slightest taste for the dramatic should watch it at least once.

4. “The Red Violin” (1998) By François Girard. I Don’t even know how to describe this film. I just remember it from my childhood bc my dad was fascinated by it and I was too. It has an entirely foreign, mostly Italian cast which makes it somehow feel like even more of an authentic story. It really helped shaped me to realize just how important music and musical instruments are to humanity and how they are another way to express our innermost thoughts and feelings.

5. Moulin Rouge! (2001) by Baz Lurhmann. I will NEVER forget the first time I saw this. I was around 7 or 8 and my parents had rented it from blockbuster, and all 3 of us watched it in awe. Baz Lurhmann is nothing but a genius the way he integrated multiple modern songs into this musical and they FIT. The moulin rouge version of “Roxanne” knocks the original by The Police out of the park, out of the world, and out into another dimension. And then the original songs like “come what may” are all 10/10. It’s theatrical, it’s romantic, it’s funny, it’s tragic. Those are the 4 things that almost always cause me to love a movie. Also Ewan McGregor is absurdly hot in it and HIS SINGING VOICE??? HHHHHOOOOOOO BBBBOOOOOYYYYYYYYY

6. “Phantom Thread” (2017) by Paul Thomas Anderson. I’m not gonna lie, I hopped onto this movie solely bc of the older man/younger woman romance theme that I am always a slut for, but much like The Best Offer it was SO MUCH more like??? This isn’t even about their age it’s about who THEY ARE and their differences yet their love for each other and how can they balance their lives, who THEY ARE without hating one another as much as they love one another??? BOY I LOVE THAT TORTURED LOVE. This movie was almost NOTHING of what I expected from it and I loved every surprise it gave me.

7. “Perfume: The Story of a Murderer” (2006) by Tom Tykwer. Idek WHAT to say about this film other than it’s so good!!! It’s so fucked up!!! I’M so fucked up!!! I love it so much!!! You know how me be!!! Love that nasty artsy badness!!! Go watch it and then message me asking me what the fuck is wrong with me!!!

8. “V for Vendetta” (2005) by James McTeigue. I know this movie has been overhyped at times, but it truly is incredible. Both the left and right seem to claim this movie as their own, but my libertarian ass just loves it for its anti-tyranny theme and ofc for the development of Evey and V’s relationship. It’s definitely worth at least one watch.

9. Pirates of the Caribbean (2003-2007 so only the original trilogy bc those are the only ones that really exist and matter ok) by Gore Verbinski. I was around 9-10 when I saw the first potc, and it changed me and inspired me for life. Immediately I found Elizabeth Swann so relatable not just bc we have the same first name, but because she had the same intense desire for freedom and adventure as I had/ still do tbh. She liked the “bad guys” and wanted to be one of them and ultimately became “King” of them without sacrificing her own femininity and OHHH I LOVE THAT. The original potc trilogy has the perfect blend of adventure, fantasy, horror, and romance for me (although I will always wish Elizabeth had ended up with Jack in the end I will DIE for this ship).Mind you, The Mummy (1999) Came EXTREMELY close to taking potc’s place, but the mummy never managed to make a good or even rewatchable trilogy like potc did so potc wins this.

10. This is Spinal Tap (1984) by Rob Reiner. The only complete comedy on this list, I cannot even begin to describe how genius this film is. I have watched it so many times since childhood and I STILL find new jokes in it that I had never noticed before. Anyone who has had even the slightest bit of an interest in music should find this hilarious. The Stonehenge mishap scene alone makes this one of the greatest comedies of all time.

These are some of the few that I’ve been able to come back to mind from memory rn but I’m sure I’ll think of other faves later. but all of these are some definite top faves of mine that impho (in my personal humble/horny opinion) everyone should watch at least once

#i have consumed 3 apples and an entire liter of wine tonight i am unhinged so if i misspell or repeat myself just understand that #in this moment i am eva green in penny dreadful

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neighbours-kid · 6 years ago

Text

Count Your Blessings

I had this moment of....realisation of how lucky I am, a while ago, and after watching Shazam! last night and talking about Zac with my friend, it really hit me again.

You know, I don‘t really remember much of, well, I guess you could call it my personality, from when I was a child? I know that I liked certain things and disliked others, I know who my friends were and stuff I did on a more or less regular basis. But I don‘t really know what kind of person I was when I was younger.

As a kid, I liked reading, I liked the Harry Potter books. I know I liked playing board and card games with my family, I know I liked playing video games with my brother. I know I liked Pokémon and that I watched both anime and cartoons on TV. I know I liked playing outside with my friends, climbing on trees, playing football, just doing stuff in nature.

I remember liking some TV shows when I got older, liking going to the movies with family and friends. I remember going over to a friend‘s house to play video games.

I remember these things about my life but I don‘t remember who I was within those things. That sort of changes around and after sixth grade. I know that by the time I went to another school after my compulsory education, I quickly became known as the nerd. The kid who knows way too much about movies and tv shows and actors, who can recall dubbing voices and what the guy in the movie you‘re watching is best known for.

I‘ve always liked knowing things and knowing a lot about the actors that starred in my favourite movies and the shows just became part of that. It became so much part of it that one of my friends just had to turn around to look at me while we watched Wilde in class for me to immediately go “Jude Law. Watson to RDJ’s Holmes. The other guy at the beginning was Orlando Bloom. Lord of the Rings. Pirates of the Caribbean.” and she just turned back as if that had been the most normal interaction in the entire world. People became surprised when I didn’t know things.

To this day, I have people who met me during the start of that time, people who I barely see and barely know, come up to me whenever I meet them, and ask me if there’s anything worth watching right now. To so many people, both close friends and people I see maybe once a year, if at all, I have become a walking movie and tv show encyclopedia.

And to be honest, for a while I got really fed up with that, because I knew that this part of my personality was not all there is. I wanted to tell people, I am more than just that! And yeah, I am more than just that. But fuck yeah, I talk about movies a shit ton and I fucking love it.

So when, the other day, I was talking about seeing Shazam! this Friday with someone using the words “gotta see my dude being a superstar”, and upon them asking who the actor is, went through the spiel of “you know the show Chuck? You know Thor’s friend Fandral in the second two Thor movies?” and, when they started googling him, also, for some reason, mentioned his birthday and zodiac sign, I got a face I hadn’t seen in a long while. That of surprise, maybe a bit of confused shock, and wonder. I hadn’t heard the question “how on earth do you know that?” in so long, because it just became normal for people to assume I knew that.

And when I recalled that I had met Zac at SDCC, told a bit about that experience and then jokingly mentioned that I could also tell them about his fashion choices — a necklace in particular —, I felt that surge of gratitude again that had hit me weeks before when I saw Zac wearing the necklace while on the cover of a magazine.

So when I watched Shazam! last night, saw the big pop-up display for the movie, the posters, and his big ol’ face all over the place, it just really hit me again.

You know, I’m not oblivious to the fact that he is a celebrity, even if I hate that word. I know that he has a massive fanbase and that I am only one of many who admire him. I am not trying to put him on a pedestal, and I sure as hell don’t have delusions that I know who he is in private, that I can say I know him as a person. All I know is who he is publicly, in interviews, interaction with fans and stuff like that.

But…having met him twice? Having seen him interact with people in front of me, how he talks to people, listens to people? Having been able to sit down with him for a moment, tell him the story behind the necklace and the reason why I wanted him to have it, and knowing that he got it? Having interacted with him, I know that who he seems to be to the public, is to a very large degree, not just a facade. I am sure that he has some things he hides away from the public, but that’s entirely fair. I don’t believe there is any person in the public eye — may that be actors, politicians, musicians, or even the fucking weather person — who does not, to a certain degree, play a part while out and about. They are just people like you and me, they have lives, bad days and good days. Hell, even I play a part sometimes.

But what I have always felt with him, through watching interviews and experiencing him in actual, real life, seeing him around fans, friends, and even family, I have only ever gotten a feeling of a deep genuineness, a sincere honesty.

I have no illusions about meaning anything to him beyond the “fan” bit, but it sure means a hell lot to me that he wears that necklace, understands its meaning. And it feels kinda nice too, when you’re told that something you’ve written has been read, or when you can see recognition on his face a year after you met the first time. And I am incredibly grateful for that, and so humbled that I got to experience that, and that I get to keep experiencing that. I am incredibly blessed.

This year is a culmination of a lot of things, in a lot of ways. Not just with Shazam! and its incredible success and the fact that people all over the world are going to see what a star Zac is, what we have known to be true all along, but also in regards to Avengers: Endgame coming out. I started down this rabbit hole of a journey seven years ago, when the first Avengers movie came out. In 2012 I really, truly became that movie obsessed weirdo that I am today, and it all started with that movie, really. It was through Avengers that I discovered my love for Loki, and thus my admiration for Tom Hiddleston, and it was through Hiddleston that I became aware of San Diego Comic-Con. And it was through both these things that I found NerdHQ and ultimately yer man Zac Levi.

God works in mysterious ways, guys. And it’s funny, because I often get this question from my mom or people at my church— if I’m so obsessed and pre-occupied with movies and tv shows and actors, do I still have time for God? And it’s funny, because they don’t understand, that this is how I find God, how I see him and his work, every day. Movies is how I have, ultimately, found renewed belief and faith. God has used both Hiddleston and Zac in ways that they can’t see, it seems. I am a kinder, more loving person, a more generous and caring human being than I was seven years ago, because I found those movies, those stories, and those people.

Huh. I am honestly just sitting here, still only barely grasping how incredibly lucky I’ve been, how blessed I am. I have made so many incredible memories, found so many great friends through this world of movies and this nerdy environment, I have seen many places and wonderful things because of it. And sitting in that cinema seat yesterday watching my dude on screen being a fucking superhero and being fantastic at it, just hit that home for me.

I am so lucky.

I am so blessed.

And it’s not just the past, either. I’ve somehow managed to find out that Zac would be at CCXP in Cologne, Germany, on the very last day of early bird sales for that event, and I had the money to book that trip. And now, without any of my doing, the opportunity to work has come up, and with that money I’ll be able to balance these expenses right out again. How fucking lucky is that?

You know, sometimes I go full Freddie Mercury and ask myself, is this the real life? Or is this just fantasy? But it is in those moments that I see the post-cards on my wall with faces on them that prove that this is real life. It is in those moments that I open instagram and see a post of Zac’s and the gold chain of that necklace pokes out of the collar of his shirt. I open twitter and I see my friends from all over the globe interacting with each other, loving each other. And I get to be part of that. How fucking cool is that?

I am so lucky. I haven’t always had it easy, I’ve gone through some shit, am still going through some shit. Life is hard, you know. But I have been so incredibly blessed and I can see so much more of that on the horizon.

I said this to my friend yesterday, but, dude, life is short.

Do the cool shit. Spend your money on concert tickets, trips to foreign countries, opportunities to see your favourite actors, musicians, authors in actual real life. Meet your heroes! They could be dead the very next day. Life is weird and complicated and short. So make the best out of it.

Fuck what other people think! Go make yourself happy.

And with that, I only have one last thing to say, to ask. Go see Shazam! Do yourself that favour. Go see it. It doesn’t matter if you’re not into superhero movies or if you don’t like DC, or whatever. Go see it. You’ll thank yourself later.

I love you, people. Be good, be kind.

(Thank you, Zac. Thank you for this.)

#shazam #shazam!#zachary levi #movies #tv shows #blessed #writing #textpost #blog post #lucky

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dawnblxde · 5 years ago

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[Kingdom Hearts 3 Review]

Welp I’ve finally done it, finally played and finished KH3! - After intentionally delaying doing so with my day one copy after finding out for some silly reason - it lacked multiple world visits for development sake and had no Final Fantasy characters - so I decided to finish the games I was in the middle of then replay the entire KH franchise, except the ones you could watch. Gonna leave my thoughts below. Just in case there are those out there still trying to avoid legit spoilers!

There were good and bad elements to this game.. Plenty of my experience that I enjoyed, but I believe more so that I didn’t - which made me want to pull out my hair. But I like my head shaved, so that wouldn’t work lol I liked the graphics, beautiful but I knew a PS3 could handle them as the quality of Woody in this game was the same as him in Toy Story 3 (2010 Video Game). Enjoyed the gameplay, though it felt like a flawed, floaty and broken version of Kingdom Heart’s 2 near perfect improvement of Kingdom Heart’s gameplay. A problem was the fact that in the first two main games, even when I was level 50-60′s - I always felt like I could DIE. It was always a fear during major combat moments. I had to concentrate so much just to be successful. Even if I tried to be a higher level then recommending through grinding. I never felt like that in KH3, every moment was such a cake walk. Even the final battle. Did they even try. Regardless, I had a good time with the gameplay and the visuals. But I wasn’t as drawn in as previous games. It did the game no favors and was a massive flaw, it lacking Final Fantasy characters. We should of been able to explore Radiant Garden or had other worlds relevant to FF characters. They were really important to Sora’s development as a Keyblade wielder. Cloud and Squall for sure. Sora wouldn’t be who he is if he hadn’t encountered and spoke to them. They’d of been useful in multiple sequences. We deserved the next part to Cloud’s issues with Sephiroth. That wasn’t resolved. See how Squall/Leon and the others reacted and dealt with what was going on at Radiant Garden. They’re capable of other world travel, seeing how they’d react to some of the new worlds would of been great as well. Nomura confirmed the only Noctis he’d put in KH was his Noctis. Versus XIII Noctis. And interest in doing so. Yet he wasn’t in the game, when as an Anti-Hero of both light and darkness would of been interesting. Seeing he’d take neither side. Also has important factors in common with Rapunzel and Elsa. Seeing them relating over this would of been nice. The lack off FF adds to factors that make KH3 be disappointing experience - along with an enjoyable one. One of the things that still makes KH2 the best. Was how awesome it was to watch the Final Fantasy characters and Disney characters team up in the battle of 1000 Heartless. One of the best aspects about the franchise is the concept of it being a FF x Disney - a Final Fantasy and Disney collaboration. Multiple visits were really needed. Some of the worlds were quite enjoyable and not frustrating. But they all have different percentages of feeling rushed and not fleshed out enough due to one visit. And some annoyingly treated Sora like he didn’t matter. Just acted like making you watch rushed unfinished version’s of the original Disney movies. Sora’s just there like. Oh look, it’s Sora over there! Hi Sora! You don’t matter here! Shouldn’t be like that. The Disney characters should be well blended into the Kingdom Hearts plot and Sora in the plot of the Disney world. The story made me feel emotional, I enjoyed all the Kingdom Hearts parts, even if I felt some of them were rushed or not written well. Tears did leave my eyes. I liked how Aqua didn’t actually give into Darkness, it was Ansem’s fault. I liked the reunion, final battle sequences and all the stuff leading up to it. My favorite parts to praise are the deaths of all Org 13 members, each made me feel emotional and I wanted to see those character’s again reborn. Not so much young Xeraxnort. But Ansem and Xemnas? Oh the feels there, they were strong. I clapped. I felt there could be more with Larxene in the game in general, including her end. Luxord’s! Clap, really want him to come back and play cards with Sora. Riku Replica’s was great too. Both Riku Replica’s. Marluxa’s.. Vanitas’s was disappointing. However, these great moments aren’t enough for me to forgive those disrespected by this game. The one’s from the worlds you could visit. I’ll get to the unforgivable bits last. Toy Story’s new story and world were great. I loved exploring that world and playing through it. The development was great. Only flaw was what they did with Buzz, he’s stronger character then they take him for. He wouldn’t lose himself to the Darkness. Otherwise, everything was great. Pretty sure it’s my favorite. Hercules’s world was the level of quality I expected! It was decent, I miss the goddamn tournament's, Phil’s voice - but I did love the exploration of his city and meeting his father! Shame no boss fight with Hades's, they’re great and fun! Twilight Town sucked! I liked seeing the gang again, Uncle Scrooge and little chef. But that doesn’t make up for the fact that more then half of Twilight Town is cut and it doesn’t look like the same place! I liked exploring the entire world, not just a portion of it. Monsters Inc’s sequel to the first film with that world experience was great! I had a blast! I always wanted to see Sully’s reunion with Boo! It wasn’t perfect, but I had a good time! Pirates of Caribbean felt like it changed things from it’s canon, but it was an emotional blast! Jack Sparrow scenes and Will scenes, it was just great! The Big Hero 6 world! Oh it was great! It was emotional to lost Baymax in the film, to get him back was great! Kinda sucked to not see the big brother come back, but they’re saving that version of events for the sequel. Two Baymax’s. The only thing I didn’t like was how the whole cast was shrunk. Best example being Honey should of been taller then Jack Sparrow’s model, but she wasn’t. These worlds could of really done with multiple visits. Even more so the three left, that were wronged and disrespected. Don’t try to praise/defend what was done to them, they deserved better. Winne the Pooh deserved better. I liked not having to collect Torn Pages, but even if you didn’t have to. In the previous games, The Winnie the Pooh worlds lasted about an hour or so doing all the activities, helping out all Pooh Bear’s friends - stuff like that. Then you have KH3′s version, which is less then 20 minutes, doing the same activity three times. That was awful. Pooh’s universe deserved better. We deserved better. This is a massive flaw. Can’t forgive this. I love Pooh Bear. Now, as someone who love’s Rapunzel, not fond of how they treated her world either. It was basically the movie with bits cut out and skipped. She hardly interacted with Kingdom Hearts lore, Sora hardly stuck around her. It was just like. Now and then, Sora’s there. Why were they so scared of showing Rapunzel kissing Flynn? There were so many moments Sora should of got to interact with? Where were the two bad guy twins? Rapunzel just generally deserved better in this game. Last but not least, Frozen. Probably the worst world in the game. Because you spend most of it just falling off mountains. They hardly let Sora interact with Elsa or Anna. Or left them get involved in Kingdom Hearts lore. Sora would of been able to relate well to Elsa if they let it happen. You can’t explore the palace, Han’s has no lines and you’re forced to listen to Let It Go again with Sora basically just there. Like hi Sora! All I liked was Snow guard getting more of a role. Don’t even get to explore the city. Just the snowy place. No real development, it’s like - what was the point? There really was none. Why did we go there? Why was Larxene there? Elsa and Anna deserved better then this. Also while not all Disney worlds could of returned in KH3, due to their stories being settled. A lot definitely could! Also, Kairi deserved better then pretty much being a plot device, hardly getting development at all just to go poof. And the idea that Sora’s sacrifice to get her back doesn’t lead to the priority of everyone to find and/or bring him back somehow instead of chilling. Just made the whole ending sequence an OOC moment for me.

Verdict!

Kingdom Hearts 3 is a decent game and fun experience, but it’s also a flawed mess. Like handling in a English report that gets a low C and just barely hits the passing grade. It is not the worst in the franchise, but Kingdom Hearts 2 easily beats it and so does Kingdom Hearts, the original one. Funner to play then Dream Drop Distance, Chain Of Memories, Recoded and the Roxas focused game! But the rest defeat it! I have no interest in a new game plus, roleplay wise I intend to amend the flaws. The Disney worlds that were wronged will get justice. Add back Final Fantasy and the missing Disney worlds. Make it what it should of been! I had a good time, I really did. But once was enough. After finishing, it now shocks me that an amount of people I can count on just one of my hands tried to either tell me KH3 was good enough or superior to all the other games, even KH2. My assumption now is, they hadn’t recently played the other games before playing 3, were lost in Nostagla or something else was going on. Just how.. How could this possibly beat the two other main titles? The only thing superior is the more then three team mates tbh. xD

7/10

I really feel like I’m being generous here, but if I went lower then I’d think I was being too harsh. It’s not FFXV and Bound by Flame 5/10 quality, but it’s certainly not The Walking Dead (by Tellale) and The Last of Us 9/10 quality. So this will have to do. Nomura, I strongly advise you to look back at Kingdom Hearts 2 and what made it so great, before you work on your next main title.

#ooc #jesus it took me ages to write this

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zdbztumble · 6 years ago

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More Ranting (Mild to Moderate KH III Spoilers)

So I’ve just finished the Caribbean level.

I meant what I said before - for the sheer charm of seeing Sora lose himself in a world and act out childhood fantasies, only the Halloweentown/Christmastown world of II compares. It took the game forever to let me have a solid run at the mechanic of taking the helm of a pirate ship, but once it did, I was in heaven. I spent far more time than I needed to sailing around and swimming underwater. The sense of an open world rife for exploring that that set-up creates, and the design of the underwater areas and the islands, is delightful. And I love that you acquire Ariel as a Link; having her as a battle partner was one of my favorite things in KH I, and having her reduced to a less-than-stellar musical level was one of my least favorite things in KH II, so her turning up here, and in this way, was a very pleasant surprise.

But...the plot of this game keeps finding new ways to drive me insane!

One of the most frustrating things about the story of KH III so far has been the way that the new Disney worlds have been used, and the role Sora plays in them. Nostalgia might be coloring my memory and judgment to some degree here, but I feel that KH I and II both did a much better job at blending Disney elements into the original material. The confederation of Disney villains appear to be the chief antagonists for the first two-thirds or so of KH I, and Maleficent becomes a third faction, acting against both Sora and Organization XIII in KH II. And when these games chose to utilize the actual plot of one of the movies, they adapted that plot to fit the KH story.

Take Agrabah, for instance: Aladdin already has the lamp when the action comes to Agrabah, his wishes are made in response to the actions of the Heartless instead of what happens in the movie, Jasmine’s actions and whereabouts are modified, and Jafar’s plotting and scheming tied to the confederation of Disney villains. In action, and in dialogue, things are changed to accommodate the KH story, and to make room for Sora to play an active role in the goings-on of that world. I would say that that holds true throughout KH I, and for most of KH II.

In KH III? Sora might as well not be there. Not for the Tangled and Frozen levels, anyway. Whatever his interactions with the characters for those films are, he’s ultimately absent for every major story moment that comes from those films. At best, he’s a spectator. But he plays no role in reuniting the sisters of Frozen, or any real role in helping Flynn rescue Rapunzel. This is especially frustrating in the Arendelle level, because the game itself offers a perfect opening for Sora to have greater involvement. He recognizes, in the divide between Ana and Elsa, a similar issue to his friendship with Riku. Had Sora been allowed to meet up with Elsa again, and to have her in his battle party, the two of them could have discussed this in cutscenes, Sora could have been on-hand to facilitate the sisters coming together in some way, and he could have been a part of the final scene of the level instead of just watching it. But that wasn’t done. What’s more, for all the cutscenes of Organization XIII members taunting and plotting, no major events from either film are modified to reflect this that I can recall. The pretext that the Organization is interested in these princesses as back-up lights is easily lost amidst more important, and more confusing, plot threads, leaving one to wonder why they’re bothering at all.

(You’ll notice I said that this applies to the Disney worlds; being a persnickety purist, I still maintain that Disney and Pixar are separate spheres of fiction, and that Pixar movies shouldn’t be in a Disney crossover series. But, talking with @echidnapower the other day about this game, I have to concede that, so far as integrating into the larger KH world and giving Sora something meaningful to do, both Pixar levels are better-written than their Disney counterparts, although I really didn’t need the Toy Story level to throw in yet another take on duplicate worlds and replicas.)

The Pirates level is an improvement in some respects on this. Sora is actually present for the climactic battle, and Davy Jones himself, and the Kraken, are made boss battles. But much of the material is still lifted wholesale from the movie itself, without meaningful changes to the dialogue or the action to accommodate the KH world, or the censorship and abridgment done to the story of At World’s End. The destruction of Beckett is left as a cutscene when it could have been a boss battle; I’d gladly take a Heartless-consumed Endeavor over the first pass at the Kraken. And while it’s believable that Sora would be upset that Will was stabbed, that moment doesn’t play very well when Sora spends virtually no time with Will and Elizabeth in this game. Again, the game itself provides an opening for this, though not as explicit a one as in the Frozen level: Elizabeth has gone from a damsel in distress to a “swasbuckly” (thank you Goofy) pirate, just as Kairi has gone from the damsel in distress to a (nominal) Keyblade wielder. Sora could have recognized that connection; he was reminded of his feelings for Kairi by much less significant material in KH II in more than one world. Of course, the amount of material between Will and Elizabeth that was cut from the story doesn’t help things either.

With all that said - Jack, and Mike and Sully before him, giving as good as they get from Organization XIII and actually dispatching its members in cutscenes (temporarily, I’m assuming) is a very welcome touch. And however infuriating the plotting is, and however stiff some of the dialogue can become, the dialogue for Jack in this game is spot-on. Every line fits in perfectly with his established character from the films, and the VA is miles above the one from KH II.

I’ve been told that some of the things I don’t like come together at the ending of the game; I must be past the halfway point by now, so I suppose I’ll see soon enough...

#critique #commentary #kingdom hearts #kingdom hearts 3 #z's crits

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biscuitreviews · 6 years ago

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Biscuit Reviews Kingdom Hearts III

Kingdom Hearts III, a title that many fans have been waiting to get their hands on for 13 years. Granted, it’s been 7 years since an installment into the series, but it’s been this one that fans have really been waiting for. Now that it’s here, many fans are combing through every inch of the game to find how the Dark Seeker saga will come to a close. Now, when it came to reviewing the other games in the Kingdom Hearts series, I tried to avoid spoilers best I could, sometimes it was unavoidable and other times it was. For the purposes of Kingdom Hearts III, I’m going to go into full spoilers. I’m going to spoil the previous games, I’m going to spoil this one and yes, I will also be talking about the ending as well.

“But Biscuit, how can I avoid the spoilers from your review?” I hear you asking. Well it’s easy. Normally I would have a “Keep Reading” link shortly after the intro of review, but this go around I’m going to put it right before I get to the spoilers so you can go through your feed or the tag if you just want my thoughts on game itself as well have a brief description of the plot. I’ll throw in another reminder for when spoilers are coming.

Score wise is going to be different as well as I’m going to be displaying my score for the game before I get into the spoilers. I do want to mention that said spoilers do have an impact on the score so if you’re wondering why the game is scored as is, you’ll find more details in the spoiler section of the review.

The game begins right where Dream Drop Distance left off, with Sora going to Olympus Coliseum to not only continue his training to obtain the “Power of Waking” to save Terra, Aqua, and Ventus, as well as stop Xehanort from starting plunging the universe into darkness. This opens up with not Kingdom Hearts III, but rather “Kingdom Hearts 2.9” because I guess Square had to get one last joke in on how long fans had to wait until Kingdom Hearts III proper.

Many of the Disney worlds you’ll travel too actually revolve around the CGI Disney movies and Pixar movies. You’ll travel to worlds featuring: Toy Story, Tangled, Frozen, Monsters Inc., and Big Hero 6. Returning worlds include the previously mentioned Olympus Coliseum, Twilight Town, and Pirates of the Caribbean.

As far as the art style goes, I’ve been vocal on not being the biggest fan with it. I’m still not. Although it complimented the majority of Disney worlds, it still clashes with the Caribbean, but it’s not as jarring as it was in Kingdom Hearts II, it’s still obvious and bad though with a clearly anime looking Sora interacting with realistic people. But, what is perhaps the most jarring of them all is the Olympus Coliseum. Hercules was not meant to be a CGI-esque model and it shows. With the art style of the previous game and the movie proper. The look of Hercules was able to compliment everything to keep a cartoonish look. Now, everything just looks like oddly shaped, realistic blobs.

Like all previous entries in the series, each of these Disney worlds has its own story and problems that Sora will help solve. Some are an abridged version of their respective Disney films, or a new original story within that world. I found that I had preference of the worlds that had their own story, this included: Toy Story, which took place between the events of Toy Story 2 and 3; Monsters Inc., which took place after the first film; Big Hero 6 which takes place after the movie and actually has Sora help Hiro deal with something that occured at the end of the film, something that I hope does become canon if the Big Hero 6 sequel does go into production; Olympus Coliseum to some extent retold the ending of Hercules, but there was enough events altered to where it could have been its own story; finally, Pirates of the Caribbean, although the events of the world take place during “At World’s End” Sora is not actually present for the majority of those events, in fact he’s mostly fighting a member of Organization XIII as the events of the movie play out away from Sora.

Other worlds, such as Tangled and Frozen, told abridged versions of their films. I found that both these worlds did good retellings as both incorporated elements of the main Kingdom Hearts story to keep it interesting. My only complaint is the Tangled world, Sora actually doesn’t contribute to the films events. He’s just simply in the background watching the events be played out. Nothing he does changes anything, unlike the Frozen world where Sora’s presence does cause an alteration in the films events.

The world design was a bit of a mixed bag. You had some worlds that truly felt like a a big world, Toy Story, Big Hero 6, and Pirates of the Caribbean are prime examples of this. Then, you had the rest of the worlds which were nothing but a giant hallway with Disney decorations. It was a bit disappointing that Square took that direction when they could have done so much more.

So what about the combat, the gameplay of Kingdom Hearts III. Like the other numbered entries, it’s great. We got a taste of it in Kingdom Hearts 0.2 and I really loved the little bits that was shown in that game, regular attacks, special attacks, grand magic, it’s all in Kingdom Hearts III and it still feels really great to just fly around in the air or glide around the battlefield hitting things with your Keyblade.

Some Heartless enemies now have elemental weaknesses that can hinder them in battle giving a little layer of strategy in your fights, but not very much, that’s the only thing you’re going to really be keeping in mind when you fight.

There’s also a new summoning ability known as “Attraction Flow Summon” where you can summon a Disney World inspired ride to do some serious damage. Some are better than others, but overall I actually liked them. Regular summons are also available in the game and their fine for the most part, but you won’t really find much of a use for them like in Kingdom Hearts II, it’s just an ability that’s there. One of my favorite new additions is how drive forms are handled. It’s not Sora that changes, but rather his Keyblade as it takes a form of a different weapon that has additional properties that can unleash devastating finishing moves after filling up the hit meter.

The Gummi ship also makes a return and this is perhaps my favorite approach to the Gummi ship. It made the worlds feel like their own planet and the Universe more expansive driving you to explore space as you fly through it shooting Heartless and collecting prizes. Approaching a world feels amazing as you approach a giant place that feels like you’re about to step on another unique planet.

Now, there’s something that Kingdom Hearts has always been known for, the secret bosses. These bosses always challenged your knowledge of spells, game mechanics, and reaction speed. In the case of Kingdom Hearts III, there’s only one secret boss, Dark Inferno, and it’s not hard. In fact, you don’t even have to be max level with the Ultima Weapon to even stand somewhat of a chance to face this boss. I was level 55 when I faced this boss and although I did die a few times it wasn’t because of lack of level, but rather reacting to an attack at the wrong moment. There’s no unique difficult Heartless, no Sephiroth battle, no extra Final Fantasy character battles, no Data battles, no extra Disney villain fights, no extra boss to tease the future of the series, nothing and it feels really lacking compared to previous entries. Granted the original vanilla versions of Kingdom Hearts I and II, didn’t have that many extra boss fights, they still had a few challenge bosses for those that wanted to prove themselves.

That’s not to say there isn’t plenty of side content, there is, it’s just the extra combat side content is severely lacking in terms of challenge and variety and that was one of my favorite side activities in Kingdom Hearts was attempting them. Again, if you haven’t finished the game and don’t want story spoilers. My score is this:

Kingdom Hearts III receives a 2 out of 5

Keep in mind that the story did have an impact on my final score so click on the “Keep Reading” link for the story discussion to see what else contributed to the score.

I hated the story.

There were some great touching moments, but overall I did not like how many of the events played out. The first issue I had was Vexen. He did something that many people will see as a break in character. He’s always been a seeker of knowledge and has been willing to gain it no matter the cost. However, we see that suddenly, we wants to atone for his actions when the story approaches it’s climax. Granted it does get explained why the sudden shift happens in a Secret Report, which you won’t be able to get until you beat the game, it’s still a jarring shift. One that could have easily been dispelled if we saw a scene of Vexen going through that change.

Then we have the Black Box that Maleficent and Pete are looking for for the entire game. Sora and the gang know that Maleficent is trying to do this, and knowing that she’s looking for an item that could potentially grant her power. So what does Sora do? He just ignores them the entire game. What’s in the box? Who knows, the game didn’t bother telling us, it only used the Black Box to tease the future of the series.

Next is the fight with Aqua, or Anti-Aqua if you will. This was perhaps an emotionally charged fight for me. The scene preceding the fight and the fight itself was perhaps the most emotionally charged moment in the entire game. You have Sora, who wants nothing but to save Aqua from her despair and depression. As you’re fighting Aqua, you hear her whisper during the fight. “I wandered the shadows endlessly, no one ever came.” “I waited for so long.” “You shouldn’t have abandoned me.”

Although this may have just been a cool fight with emotions on high, there is a deeper meaning to this fight, rather it be intentional or not and that is how this can be an allegory of battling depression and abandonment. When depressed, we might often stew in our self created darkness, possible blaming circumstances or people for putting us on this state. Sora, Riku and Mickey in this case, represent the light to help you out of that depression as they have ventured in that darkness to help get you out of it. As for the abandonment, again Sora, Riku, and Mickey, showing that she was not abandoned, as they were looking for a way to help her the entire time. Again, I’m not sure if this was intentional on Nomura’s part, but it does give the fight a more impactful meaning outside of the core story.

Another enjoyable moment was a scene that I’m sure many people, including myself have been waiting on for years and that Sora and Kairi having their moment. Before the final battle, they exchange some heartfelt words and do something that has been teased since Kingdom Hearts I, share a paopu fruit. This small scene has been building up for years and to finally have this moment delivered did make the wait worth it.

Next, is the concept of death. Kingdom Hearts has always been a series that has been a bit of an enigma when it came to death. That’s not say death has happened in the series, for it has, see Master Eraqus in Birth by Sleep and Strelitzia in Kingdom Hearts Union X. The series established that just because someone loses their heart, doesn’t mean that they themselves die, rather a piece of themselves is lost until it’s found again. Kingdom Hearts takes the concept of death and basically just burns the book, throw it out the window and take away any impact it could have had to the overall story.

That’s right, I’m talking about Kairi’s “death”.

Before we get into that, I want to talk about the Final World. This world, is essentially the afterlife. Keyblade wielders find themselves here if their heart and body have been destroyed in a state that they cannot return. However, Sora was able to break out of the afterlife because of Kairi’s power, which in turn allowed him to use the Power of Waking to revive his friends who also died for them to continue their fight with Xehanort.

When Xehanort struck Kairi down to where she was completely obliterated, this not only shocked me that Nomura was willing to do this to one of the core three, but also how it impacted Sora. He wanted nothing more but to defeat Xehanort and to avenge Kairi. This could have been a powerful moment that stayed rooted in the final entry of the Dark Seeker saga. However, after defeating Xehanort, Sora begins a new journey, to save Kairi.

Because of the connection Sora and Kairi share, Sora believes he can use the Power of Waking to bring Kairi back, however it comes at the cost of Sora himself. Everyone even warns Sora that he’s abusing the power and will disappear if he brings Kairi back. This would make sense as Kairi’s Heart and Body have been obliterated to a state that she cannot return. But hey, Sora discovered he can use the power of waking to go into the afterlife to revive people and you know what, that’s what he does. He goes to the afterlife, revives Kairi and then disappears for abusing the power. Doing this to me ruined the impact this moment could have potentially left for the finale of the Dark Seeker saga.

There is however one more point I would like to discuss with the story before finally closing this review. How the story felt.

I felt it was half baked. I think Nomura wanted to move on to a different idea he had for the series, but he couldn’t as he had to conclude the Dark Seeker Saga first. It’s partly why I feel Kingdom Hearts III is rather empty, because I don’t think Nomura’s heart was in the conclusion. I feel he only did this to finish the story and to give the fans the title they wanted, Kingdom Hearts III. A good portion of Kingdom Hearts III, even sets pieces up for the future of the series, rather than act as a wrap up. Which is fine, if you want a loose thread to have the idea and possibility for a sequel open, but I felt Nomura didn’t give Kingdom Hearts III his all and felt restricted with what he could do, because he couldn’t tell the story he really wanted. Again, I don’t know Nomura, I’m not in the guys head, but to me that’s what it felt like.

As for me, I think this is where my journey will end for the series. I don’t see myself following this series anymore and I’ll probably let the new generation of fans inherit the series. It was fun while it lasted and I’ll most likely continue to play the previous entries of the series, but the future entries, I think I’ll pass.

Thank you all for sharing this journey with me. The core gameplay is enjoyable and although there are some wonky bits, it’s a still a good game for long time fans of the series, just not the grand finale that I’m sure many people were hoping for and expecting. The score was something I was wrestling with for awhile, but at the end of the day, I feel that this is what I would give it.

#Kingdom Hearts III #KH3 #Kingdom Hearts #Sora #Riku #Kairi #KH3 spoilers #KH3 review #video game review #game review #gaming review #Biscuit Reviews #ps4 #Xbox one #Square Enix #Disney

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semi-imaginary-place · 6 years ago

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KH3 is like half a game, it feels incomplete and clunky. It sets up events that never happen and tries to force moments without having the build up to support them. The game does some things really well and reaches some truly heartfelt emotional beats and solid character moments.

3:48 PM - 31 Jan 20191 reply0 retweets1 likeReply 1 Retweet Like 1 View Tweet activity

The Disney (and Pixar) worlds were pretty well incorporated and mostly able to contribute thematically to the game unlike sometimes in past games were the worlds were kind of just dropped into the game.

The Toy Box much like Halloween Town brings up how dolls/toys/those who begin as inanimate objects can gain hearts. Monstropolis allows a plausible entry point for Vanitas with the connection between fear induced scream energy and the negative emotions of the unversed.

Of all the worlds, I enjoyed Sora's time with the Big Hero 6 gang the most. Their interactions felt genuine and I had a lot of fun watching them. It also had the most complete arc of the worlds with the continuation of the movie's theme of living after loss.

Most of the worlds' story arcs felt incomplete. Starting in Olympus we are left hanging with Pete finding Pandora's box and the city in ruins. The story just kind of ends. There also was not enough time and build up to give significance to Hercules' choice to rejoin the mortals.

In Twilight Town, with all the discussion surrounding hearts and data from Coded to KH2 to KH3, that a whole other Twilight Town exists was completely dropped. It felt like the game was leading the audience somewhere and then never followed through.

With the Toy Box, the Sora, Goofy, and Donald leave and don't come back with Woody, Buzz, and the others still stranded in another world just hoping to one day meet Andy again. The search for Andy and the other toys is the main arc for this world and its never resolved.

While some worlds aren't quite as obviously half a story arc, all of them could have used more time. Many of them assume you have already seen the source material. In Frozen, Hans being the villian is the big twist but with the first half of the movie cut, there's no impact.

Pirates of the Caribbean makes no sense to anyone who hasn't seen the movies. I wish there was a scene of Sora unlocking Tia Dalma given how it was setup to happen. There was good characterization for Sora here though on how both he and Jack are free spirits.

The Winnie the Poo part while sweet (because I love Winnie the Poo sections) doesn't go anywhere. Sora just loses his connection with Poo and disappears from the cover, and then a few mini games later he's back. Sora's comment on how their bond has weakened never goes anywhere.

In the other games you search for lost pages or help Poo regain his memories, here there is no story. It's a lost opportunity to do, well something, but that can be said of much of the game. They could have used this part to talk about how relationships must be nurtured.

The ending also fell a bit flat because of the buildup-payoff problem. The game tries to show the characters despairing only for someone to swoop in and give them hope. The problem is that in the Keyblade Graveyard they do this so many times it loses its impact.

Given the amount of stuff this game should have resolved, not enough time was spent on that. Instead precious time was spent trying to create sequel hooks. In doing so, the cohesiveness of the game as a unit was compromised. The game was too short for all they tried to achieve.

At times the narrative would point "Look! its a happy/sad/intense/etc. scene", but without a proper build up, these scenes lacked emotional weight.

I'm conflicted on KHUX in KH3. I liked Chirithy reuniting with Ven, Laurium possibly remembering, and Strelitzia's maybe cameo. The black box stuff could have been cut. Its to connect KHUX with future games, but it does nothing for the Xehanort saga and bogs KH3 down.

Then there is the mysterious girl with connections to Lea, Isa, and Ansem that we are only hearing of now. Who is she? Is she Ava? I don't know but they should have saved it for another game.

I thought all the keyblades of the Union members coming to help was a nice touch, but why did Ephemer of all people show up? He was a Dandelion; the player was the one who chose to stay (except the player has no canon appearance in khux which makes them hard to depict).

On one hand I got really excited looking for my KHUX username but on the other hand it was a little too 4th wall breaking and took me out of the game. The other 4th wall leaning scenes with Axel didn't do it for me either.

I did like the definitely-not-instagram loading screens. They were just this side of absurd to be amusing. It was cute. Humor is a subjective thing but I didn't like the increase in jokes in this game. It broke immersion for me.

Some were funny like Verum Rex. Others though felt forced. KH3 had more Donald, Sora, and Goofy poking fun at each other. At first it was fun, but then they kept doing it and it got old.

Maybe its because of all the jokes and narrative problems broke my immersion in the game or maybe its because I'm older now, but KH3 wasn't as magical an experience for me as the other games.

I don't mean magic in how many spells Donald can cast but in that sense wonder, that the extraordinary is possible. That sense of magic is why the Roxas prologue of KH2 is one of my favorite parts of the franchise.

Part of it also is that the section where Sora goes saving everyone's hearts from the Lich after they "died" didn't reach me emotionally. Which is a shame since the part right before where Sora runs around in the Final World and talks with the stars is one of my favorite parts.

I was surprised we didn't see more Dives to the Heart and battles at the center of the heart given the Terranort, Ventus-Vanitas, Xion, etc. After Sora got the power of awakening I was expecting him and Riku to use that to free Xion and Terra.

And then we would get an epic battle where Terra finally kicks Xehanort out of his own body. I also wanted to see Aqua beat up Xehanort. Aqua's suppose to be super strong from spending 10 years in the Realm of Darkness.

Kairi deserved better. Kairi deserved more. 3 games (II, 3D, III) on how Kairi trains to become a keyblade wielder and she doesn't get to do anything. Why was she kidnapped anyways? The answer is to give an excuse for Sora at the end to have a "I must do this alone" moment.

Kairi was kidnapped just so Sora could angst over her and so he could go save her. She deserved better.

The developers really pushed the Sora-Kairi romance this game. I was disoriented since we since the last game we saw a lot of romantic indications was 17 years ago in KH1. Riku got third-wheeled this game.

Enough complaining, parts that worked pretty well/were well executed: Big Hero 6, Monsters Inc, Sora finding the Door to Darkness in Destiny Islands and Aqua returning to the Realm of Light, Sora's interaction with other characters(Rapunzel, BH6, Jack, etc), the Final World.

Visually the environments are amazing! I was so happy running around everywhere. Its pretty. (and the heartless are cute)

KH3 was on the low side for number of worlds visited. Again, I'm surprised how (comparatively) short the game is. There was a lack on Final Fantasy characters as well (or well videogame characters given how TWEWY was in 3D).

I would have loved to see a Moana world. Moana, Maui, and Sora interactions would have been great. Thematically it would have worked too since Moana's plot centers on how Te Fiti losing her heart changed her.

In every KH there's always been some wham moments and that didn't happen to me at all in KH3... until the every end with Luxu. Many of us have been suspicious of Xigbar for a very long time. His organization chair height is too high. He seems to know more than he should...

As much as I am complaining, I do like the Kingdom Hearts III. Its a good game.

I've said it before, but KH:coded is a thematic summary of the entire series and one of the important points in that game is how Data Sora understands hurt. Data Sora understood how to live through hurt and this is something we see Sora learn as well through the games.

In CoM Sora did not understand this. All the way to 3D he did not know how to deal with hurt so when Roxas shared all his pain, that contributed to Sora sinking into darkness. In KH3 though Sora has grown and can accept hurt.

I would have though liked to have seen a more overt conclusion to Sora's relationship to darkness. Sora has always had darkness in him, he's not a princess of heart (or Ven) and there were hints before KH3 that he was falling to darkness.

Anti/Rage form are a manifestations of that darkness. Maybe this was just sloppy character writing, but Sora is noticeably meaner during KH2 and at the end he says "maybe the darkness has gotten to me, too". In KH3, besides rage form Sora's darkness isn't directly addressed.

Back to UX. The devs connected the epilogue, the secret reports, and UX well. That's all that was needed really. From Backcover we already know the black box is important. KH3 shouldn't have wasted time focusing on it.

And about X girl )Shuld?? idk). It really is awkward how they bring her into KH3. If she's the reason Lea and Isa got into this mess they should have dropped a line in 358/2 or one of the other games something like "Don't forget we're doing this for her"

Another good scene was Aqua giving Ven head pats. This gave me life.

Scala ad Caelum was built inverse on top of Daybreak Town. I didn't notice! Never mind what I said earlier, there's the "oh shit... what" moment. I'm just going to sit here mind blown thinking of all the implications...

#kh #kh3 #kh3 spoilers #spoilers #i really did like the game #kingdom hearts

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weekendwarriorblog · 3 years ago

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The Weekend Warrior 8/20/21 - REMINISCENCE, PAW PATROL: THE MOVIE, THE PROTÉGÉ, THE NIGHT HOUSE, FLAG DAY, DEMONIC and More

Ugh.

Apparently, we have four or five new wide releases this weekend, just as we get into what I always lovingly referred to as “The Dog Days of Summer.” Thanks to COVID, that could be referring to almost every weekend this summer, but it definitely becomes more true as we get to the end of summer as many kids are returning to school, some of them wearing masks, others social-distancing, some just getting us closer to the herd immunity we were always heading towards… ha ha… that’s one way to see if anyone is even reading this column. Get Political!!

Presumably, the widest release this weekend will be the sci-fi noir, REMINISCENCE (Warner Bros.), starring Hugh Jackman, Thandiwe Newton, and Rebecca Ferguson, which is the feature directorial debut by Lisa Joy, the co-creator of HBO’s popular series, Westworld. Like The Suicide Squad, In the Heights, and every other Warner Bros. movie this year, Reminiscence will be released concurrently on HBO Max this Friday. Unlike any of those other movies, I honestly don’t think anyone will give a shit about getting off their asses to risk COVID in order to see this. And I say that a.) without having seen it; b.) knowing almost nothing about it; c.) not believing the poppycock that movie theaters are the death traps some claim; and d.) I already have a ticket to see it on Friday.

In fact, I almost feel like I shouldn’t do a lot of research into what this movie is about, because despite having seen the trailer a few times, I still have no idea. All I know is that it stars Hugh Jackman, and it’s science-fiction, and that’s enough for me! (I haven’t even watched that much of Westworld beyond the first season for no other reason except that I haven’t.) The plot according to IMDB is, “A scientist discovers a way to relive your past and uses the technology to search for his long lost love.” Good enough for me.

Okay, then, so basically it sounds like a Christopher Nolan movie like Tenet or Inception from a lesser-known director -- who also happens to be Nolan’s sister-in-law, because she’s married to the other Westworld co-creator Jonathan Nolan. See how Hollywood works?

Because of all the Nolan connections, maybe we need to look at something like Transcendence, the 2014 sci-fi thriller directed by Nolan DP Wally Pfister, which starred Johnny Depp, Rebecca Hall (coincidentally), and Paul Bettany. The movie opened in mid-April (a known dumping ground) to about $10.9 million in 3,455 theaters, and then tanked, making just $23 million domestically. (It made about $80 million overseas.) The fact that the title Reminiscence bears more similarity to Pfister’s movie brings another level of foreboding.

At the time, Depp hadn’t completely destroyed his career, and he still had a few bit hits under his belt, including Into the Woods and his final Pirates of the Caribbean movie in 2017, as well as Murder on the Orient Express. Jackman, on the other hand, is still in a better place career-wise, although he still owes much of his career to playing Wolverine in the X-Men movies for nearly two decades. He’s had one significant hit since Logan’s swan song, fittingly enough in 2017’s Logan, which grossed $226.3 million domestically. That was the PT Barnum musical, The Greatest Showman, which made $174.3 million over the holidays that same year, and that really centered around Jackman as a leading man. His next movie, the Gary Hart movie, The Front Runner, didn’t fare very well (less than $2 million gross), nor did the animated Missing Link, although the latter did get an Oscar nomination. The question is whether Jackman can do much to get moviegoers into an original science fiction movie with his mere presence.

Even the rest of the cast that includes Ferguson from Tom Cruise’s Mission: Impossible movies, Newton from… well, another one of Tom Cruise’s Mission: Impossible movies, and Daniel Wu from the series Into the Badlands and the most recent Tomb Raider movie. Again, take these three out of a franchise and who knows if there’s really much left?

I’m not even sure how many theaters Warner Bros. is releasing… sorry, I hate spelling out the title of this movie… into, but I have a feeling it won’t be that much more than 3,000, especially with the movie being readily available on HBO Max and all the week’s other movies being theatrical only.

Because of that, I’m very dubious about this movie making $10 million this weekend. In fact, I’m not even sure it can make $8 million this weekend. No, I’m probably going to go closer to $6 to 7 million on this, and even that might be overly optimistic.

Unfortunately, I wasn't able to see Reminiscence in advance, so we'll just have to see what other critics who see it think about it. I’m not really expecting it to get too many good reviews, since it seems like the kind of movie that critics go to see begrudgingly, because they were assigned to see it, more than having any interest in it. And I was right.

On the other hand, I’ve already been seeing rave reviews about the animated PAW PATROL: THE MOVIE (Paramount), which I also haven’t seen, and in fact, I can guarantee that I will never see it. Why? Because I don’t have kids. Nor will I ever have kids. Nor do I know anything about this other than it’s about police dogs?

In fact, opening in 2,700 theaters, I wouldn’t be surprised if this rare G-rated movie ends up winning the weekend, or at least comes in second to Free Guy, despite many kids being back in school, kids being unvaccinated and more likely to get COVID by going to movie theaters, etc. etc.

If you can’t tell, I’m writing this while on a mini-vacation and I’m kind of in a “I just don’t give a shit” kind of mood right now, but as I said, I don’t have kids, and the only reason I know what “Paw Patrol” is because the people I know who have kids seem to know of the movie’s existence. Maybe even some of them will take their kids to see it or at least wait until it’s on Paramount+, which you know is coming.

I’m going with this making somewhere around $8 million this weekend, taking second place behind Free Guy, which should continue to do well with little other direct competition.

On the other, other hand (I have three arms, you know), I have had a chance to see the action flick, THE PROTÉGÉ (Lionsgate), directed by Martin Campbell of Casino Royale acclaim and Green Lantern… what’s the opposite of acclaim? That.

The movie stars Samuel L. Jackson and Michael Keaton, but more importantly, it stars… the awesome Maggie Q from Mission: Impossible III! (See a pattern in this week’s Weekend Warrior?) Most will probably know Ms. Q from her run as Nikita on the show of the same name, and she’s definitely back in that mode for this action-thriller in which she plays an assassin looking for the killer of her mentor (Jackson) which puts her at odds with another assassin, played by Keaton. I loved the fact that Maggie appeared in three very different movies last year from Sony/Blumhouse’s Fantasy Island and two other movies that ended up going to VOD, but the former of these shamefully opened with just $12.3 million over Valentine’s weekend and then it quickly got destroyed, first by the release of Blumhouse’s The Invisible Man in its third weekend and then by COVID, because theaters shut down in its fourth weekend. It made less than $50 million worldwide, which is a shame, because I actually liked it.

This is another case where I don’t know how many theaters it’s getting, although I do know reviews are embargoed until sometime Thursday evening, which is never a good sign, and actually, I can’t even tell you if I liked it or hated it until then, so… I guess we’ll have to go blind on this one, assuming Lionsgate will dump it into around 2,300 theaters with very little promotion. Even though action has been faring well this year, I have a feeling this will struggle to make $3 million this weekend.

Mini-Review: As I’ve probably mentioned, I love Maggie Q whenever she’s in any movie, but she’s particularly good in this sort of action role that requires a little more of a dramatic touch than we’d normally get from a man in this type of role. Sure, we can be slightly worried when there’s a movie with a female lead both written and directed by men, and some of those worries are founded, but Ms. Q always finds a way to bring more to her roles, and that’s the case here as well.

The general plot is that her Anna is an assassin and when her mentor Moody (Jackson) is murdered, she sets out to find his killer or killers, which brings her back to Vietnam where she runs headlong into another known as Rembrandt, played by Michael Keaton. At the same time, Moody has set Anna on a mission to find a boy whose father was assassinated 30 years earlier, as she learns that the two things are connected.

Written by Richard Wenk, who has quite a bit of experience with this sort of action movie, having written Denzel’s The Equalizer movies, as well as a few of The Expendables movies, he gives the movie enough story and characterization to separate it from the normal trashy action movie where that stuff isn’t important. For instance, giving Maggie’s Anna a full backstory with Samuel L. Jackson’s Moody, her blues guitar-playing mentor, or having her be interested in books and running a bookstore.

Unfortunately, the movie is kind of erratic, comical sometimes but deadly serious for the most part and the flirtatious relationship between Anna and Keaton’s character leads to some super cringe-worthy moments. While the action and fight choreography is pretty solid, the fact that 69-year-old Keaton doesn’t seem to be doing much of the actual fighting is a little too obvious. (Is he trying to be Liam Neeson now?) The way the violent fighting leads the two of them into bed also feels problematic. I generally abhor any sort of violence against women, but at least Maggie Q makes her character look super-tough and able to handle anything.

I wasn’t as keen on the film’s multiple twists in the ending or the flashback to Anna’s past, which seems to come far too late in the movie. In general, women are going to HATE this movie and I know exactly why, but men will probably enjoy it for just as many obvious reasons. All-in-all, it’s not a terrible throwback action movie that only sometimes goes off the rails. Rating: 6.5/10

Next, we have another highly-acclaimed horror film that played back at the Sundance Film Festival back in 2020 (like the recent Nine Days) with David (The Ritual) Bruckner’s THE NIGHT HOUSE (Searchlight Pictures), starring Rebecca Hall as Beth, a teacher whose husband Owen shot himself but not after designing and building their house on the lake. Shortly afterwards, weird things start happening and Beth thinks the house is haunting, but then she discovers a mysterious mirror image on the other side of the lake, and things start getting even weirder.

Definitely don’t want to say too much about this, because whether you like it or not might rely on whether you like the twist(s) in the movie, and I’m not sure that average moviegoers will like them as much as the type of person that goes to the Sundance Film Festival.

Hall is one of my favorite actors, because I feel she can do anything but she’s also very underrated. I mean, she can play a role in Iron Man 3 (one of the best things about that movie) or a movie like Transcendence (mentioned above) or Godzilla vs. King Kong or do comedy like ...um… Holmes and Watson, if anyone would consider that “comedy.” What she hasn’t been able to do is really get people out to theaters with her presence, although one of her more successful non-Marvel movies was Joel Edgerton’s The Gift, and she’s done a couple other good thrillers.

On top of that, the movie is still sitting pretty with 90% on Rotten Tomatoes, which makes one wonder if Sundance buzz is able to transcend the 20-month gap since a movie’s premiere, and Nine Days seems to say otherwise. Another thing going in The Night House’s favor is that there’s been quite a bit of horror movies in recent months, which means this trailer has played in front of a lot of them.

I’m not really sure why Searchlight didn’t put this concurrently on their streaming partner Hulu, but maybe they’re giving theatrical another chance even with COVID still being a concern to many, but maybe not the fan of horror who might want a little escapism. This is only opening in about 2,000 theaters, and I think that might make it tough for it to make more than $3 or 4 million.

Mini-Review: Like with Maggie Q above, Rebecca Hall is an actress who I honestly think can do no wrong. Therefore, David Bruckner’s thriller might already have a bit of an advantage, because I assumed (correctly) that this movie will feature a lot of the filmmaker’s camera trained on her at all times capturing her every emotion, every fear and facial twitch.

As mentioned above, I don’t want to say too much about the plot beyond what you can easily watch in the trailer, but this is only partially the movie you might be expecting. Sure, there’s a good amount of eerie creepiness as Hall’s character tries to find whatever is haunting her house after her husband’s suicide, as well as discovering the identical house that may or may not be in a dream. (It's that kind of movie.)

Much of the film is kind of slow and mopey, and even funny in a weird way, since Hall’s character seems to be going crazy and her behavior (and performance) is quite erratic because of it. Think of it a bit as if you can imagine Hall going into crazy Nicholas Cage moments over the course of the movie or acting that way towards her friends, including Sarah Goldberg’s Claire, who always seems to be saying the wrong thing around her BFF.

One of the things that tends to work about Bruckner’s film is that you’re never quite sure what exactly is happening, but it keeps you interested enough to want to know where it might be going. The other great thing that works even moreso is the film’s amazing score and sound design that helps to keep the viewer on edge through all of the film’s ups and downs.

As the film went along, I presumed correctly that there would probably be some sort of semi-inane M. Night Shyamalan twist, and in some ways, I was right. I certainly didn’t hate the twist when it showed up (or the second or third twist), but I know plenty of fans of more straight-ahead (translation: bad) horror that might be thrown off and even perturbed by so many twists.

The Night House may ultimately be too smart or clever for its own good, since it’s being sold as a straight-ahead ghost story with the twist of this mirror house, but that’s really something that’s very much only on the surface. Any problems with the movie are countered by the fact that Hall is just so good at selling its strange concept.

Rating: 7/10

Lastly, there’s Sean Penn’s film FLAG DAY (MGM), which may or may not get a wide release -- I'm going to guess not, but just in case it does, I might try to figure out how it might do. It tells the story of lifelong criminal and con-man Jon Vogel (Penn) as seen through the eyes of his journalist daughter Jessica (Penn's daughter, Dylan Penn). Based on Jessica Vogel's book "Flim-Flam Man: The True Story of My Father’s Counterfeit Life,” the movie covers Jessica's entire life from when her father left her and her brother Nick (played later by Hopper Penn) and mother Patty (Kathryn Winnick) through her own troubled life to when she takes back her life to succeed as a journalist. Also starring Josh Brolin, Dale Dickey, Regina King (blink and you'll miss her), Eddie Marsan and more, it's opening on Friday.

Without knowing whether Flag Day actually is getting any sort of wide release or will just be put into a few hundred theaters, but as you'll read in my review below, it's a very strange movie for MGM (or rather, United Artists Releasing) to have picked up before it premiered at Cannes, because it's just not that great, and it certainly isn't something that might do well in a wide release. Even if somehow MGM gets this movie into 1,000 theaters this weekend, I’m not convinced it can make a million dollars, because I just don’t think many if any people really know about it. Maybe it didn’t turn out to be the awards contender MGM hoped to release it later in the year, but it’s also strange for it to be opening a week after Respect, which I expect to do quite well in its second weekend. I’m just going to assume this will be in a few hundred theaters, and that’s about it.

Mini-Review: I really didn't know much about this movie going into it, other than the fact that it was directed by Penn, co-starred his daughter Dylan, as well as his son, Hopper. (Okay, maybe I didn’t know that last part.) What I didn’t know was that it was about a notorious counterfeiter named Jon Vogel, as seen through the eyes of his journalist daughter Jessica, and as with most of these type of memoir adaptations, it’s only going to be as interesting as how the story is told.

Penn has proven himself to be a decent filmmaker and storyteller, but here, he’s going for something arty that’s almost Terrence Malick-like at times, but needlessly so, because it just feels like he’s trying to make up for the flaws in the story by throwing in things like shaky camera work, overusing voice-over narrative and frequently leans on its soundtrack to try to make up for the weak storytelling.

On the other hand, if Penn was trying to create a great showcase for his daughter Dylan, Flag Day does a great job doing just that, and when you first see her on screen, you might be thrown off by how much she looks like her mother Robin Wright when she was much younger. It’s somewhat interesting to note that Sean Penn has never appeared in a movie he directed, which is only odd because you would think that being in scenes with other actors would make it easier to direct them. (I learned that from Jason Bateman, oddly.) In fact, the very best moments in Flag Day are those between Penn and his daughter, although there's still a lot of overacting and melodrama.

Honestly, I’ve met people like Jon Vogel, who are just constantly trying to make money however they can without worrying about who they hurt with their dishonesty. Because of this, I couldn’t fully get behind the father-daughter aspect of the story vs. just being interested in Jessica’s own personal growth.

In other words, maybe Flag Day should have been prefaced by "Based on a Dull Story,” because it just never really connected with me even though there were a scattered few moments that worked.

Rating: 5/10

Presuming that Flag Day isn’t going nationwide into over 500 theaters (and even if it does, it won’t be in the Top 10), here’s what the Top 10 should look like.

1. Free Guy (20th Century/Disney) - $15 million -47%

2. Paw Patrol: The Movie (Paramount) - $8.4 million N/A

3. Reminiscence (Warner Bros.) - $6.2 million N/A

4. Jungle Cruise (Walt Disney Pictures) - $5 million -45%

4. Respect (MGM) - $4.8 million -45%

5. Don’t Breathe 2 (Sony/Screen Gems) - $4.6 million -57%

7. The Night House (Searchlight) - $3.3 million N/A

8. The Suicide Squad (Warner Bros.) - $3.2 million -57%

9. The Protege (Lionsgate) - $2.6 million N/A

10. Old (Universal) - $1.4 million -41%

District 9 director Neil Blomkamp returns with the horror film, DEMONIC (IFC Midnight), in which Carly Pope plays Carly Spenser, who learns her estranged mother Angela (Nathalie Boltt) who disappeared years earlier is now in a coma, although new technology has been created as therapy that will allow Carly to enter her mother's brain and communicate with her. What could possibly go wrong? I mean, read the title and take one effin’ guess.

I went into this one fairly hopeful that maybe Blomkamp had figured out a way of getting out of director’s jail after the last few duds by essentially going the M. Night Shyamalan route i.e. making a super low-budget horror movie without stars that can let him show people that District 9 wasn’t a fluke. But unfortunately, kids, Demonic does the exact opposite, because it’s one of those horrible high concept tech-driven horror movies (not unlike the Blumhouse model) that gets so bogged down in a premise that should thrive on its simplicity that it just fails to keep the viewer entertained, let alone scared.

As soon as Carly enters the mindscape that is her mother’s brain, you know you’re in trouble, because it looks like a scratched DVD or an old video game that’s gotten dirty and is now skipping or crashing just as you’re almost past the hardest level. Yeah, it’s that kind of movie, and after Carly’s first horrific experience in her mother’s brain -- I mean, just writing that and knowing my own mother makes this a scary idea -- you wonder why she’d go back and do it again.

On top of that, there’s just so much exposition with Carly talking about her mother’s disappearance, but before you can get bored, something weird happens like her best friend turns into some weird creature and gets pulled into the mix of whatever is possessing Carly’s mother. I won’t say too much more, because like with The Night House above, you shouldn’t know too much. Unlike that movie, as you learn more, you become more annoyed with the whole idea.

Then on top of that, Pope just isn’t a particularly dynamic actress, so she does little to elevate the weak material, and when her dumb-ass BFF shows up at 3 in the morning, the banter between them is so cringeworthy, you might wonder who wrote this crap. (Surprise: Blomkamp did, so he can’t even blame how bad this movie is on the script.) There’s also what looks like a scary chicken, which just makes the whole thing more laughable than scary.

Demonic is a truly awful movie, taking Blomkamp further down the spiral of a filmmaker that was obviously a one-trick pony and doesn’t seem to be able to prove otherwise.

Rating: 4/10

Now available on digital is Gracie Otto’s documentary, UNDER THE VOLCANO (Universal Pictures Content Group), which premiered at the SXSW Film Festival in March, and I absolutely loved it, though that shouldn’t be too much of a surprise to anyone who knows about my background working in recording studios. The doc is in fact about the Air Studios Montserrat that the late Sir George Martin built in the Caribbean in the ‘70s where some amazing artists like The Police, Duran Duran, Mark Knopfler and others recorded some of the classic rock records of the ‘80s. Of course, like the movie Rockfield: The Studio on the Farm about Rockfield Studios in Wales, I’m a complete suck for these movies about legendary recording studios where great music was recorded, because it feeds one of my primary interests in life: music and specifically the history of rock music. I’m actually going to have an interview with the filmmakers over at Below the Line sometime soon, so you can read a lot more about the movie then.

Because I was away this weekend, I wasn't able to get to any of these. Sorry, publicists!

ON BROADWAY (Kino Lorber) MA BELLE, MY BEAUTY (Good Deed Entertainment) BARBARA LEE: SPEAKING TRUTH TO POWER (Greenwich) CONFETTI (Dada Filims) CRYPTOZOO (Magnolia) COLLUSIONS (Vertical) Next week, we're back to just a single new wide release -- thank you, God! -- and it's the Universal/Blumhouse remake of the cult horror classic, CANDYMAN.

Incidentally, I couldn’t write this column weekly without the fantastic data found at The-Numbers.com. The site continues to maintain one of the best box office databases on the internet, and I appreciate that being available to us.

#The Weekend Warrior #Reminiscence #Paw Patrol #Flag Day #The Night House #Demonic #The Protege #Movies #Reviews #box office

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jupitermelichios · 7 years ago

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How to tell if a film is bad

I’m not an expert, but I have an A-level in film studies and I’m an enthusiastic amateur, and I see a lot of people being confused about what makes a film good or bad, so I thought I’d share some things I’ve learnt.

The first thing is that good or bad is ultimately a purely subjective criticism. Just like in any other kind of media criticism, there are plenty of valid criticisms you can make but whether a film is actually good or not is ultimately a matter of taste. The grammar in the Harry Potter books is pretty bonkers in places (how much punctuation does one sentence need?!) but the books are still hugely popular and they touched a lot of people, including me. It’s hard to argue that Harry Potter is bad when it’s so beloved. A thing can be greater than the sum of its parts.

That said, here are some ways to analyse a film.

Technical elements:

This is the actual film-making - the camera-work, the editing, the costumes, sets, music etc. It doesn’t include the script or casting, which we’ll get onto later.

The Cinematography

Cinematography is how the film looks. Colours filters (these days this is most often a grey filter – think the difference between Purgatory and real life in Supernatural for an example of what that looks like, or literally anything directed by Zack Snyder), how something is actually filmed – angles, how close the camera is zoomed in or out, stuff like that, whether the shot is straight on or at an angle, whether we use a normal lens or a distorted one such as a fish-eye lens. The person in charge of that is the cinematographer or director of photography. A lot of directors have a favourite cinematographer that they work with again and again. Guillermo Navarro, for example, has been DP on almost every Guillermo Del Toro movie from Cronos to Pacific Rim. A lot of cinematography is style choices, and so largely subjective, but it also plays a big role in visual storytelling, and a badly filmed film can be genuinely confusing.

Things to look out for: do the shots match the needs of the scene (close ups to show emotion, wide angles for establishing shots of locations etc.), can we follow who's speaking to who during conversations, do you know where people are relative to one another, do fancy shots like Dutch angle shots (where the camera is at an angle so the shot is slanted), shaky hand-held camera shots or fish-eye shots (where the centre is zoomed in more than the edges) add to the narrative or are they just distracting and out of place.

Good cinematography: Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring – every shot is perfectly chosen to build the emotion and tension, wide angle aerial shots give us scale, close-ups give us emotion

Bad cinematography: Battlefield Earth – this entire scene is Dutch angles for no god damn reason

The Editing

Editing is the process of choosing which bits of the stuff filmed goes on the screen, and which goes in the bin. Editors choose when to cut between shots, which shots to cut between, and what order those cuts go in. Depending on the relationship between the director and the editor, the editor can have a huge role in shaping the story. Most modern western film-makers these days go for invisible editing, where the shots flow naturally into one another so that you don't really notice that you're actually switching between three or four different cameras. There are a few notable exceptions. Tarantino films go for a much more noticeable style of editing, hard cutting from shot to shot, which worked great with the late Sally Menke editing his films. Ang Lee's usual collaborator Tim Squyers likes his long shots – holding a single shot for much longer than you usually would before cutting. As long as the scene is comprehensible, it's really a matter of style. For an idea of how it can make a film incomprehensible, try and describe the action scenes from a Michael Bay Transformers movie – it's almost impossible because he uses constant smash-cut editing to confuse the eye about where everyone is relative to one another.

Things to look out for: do you know where everyone is relative to one another, can you follow the action, are you noticing the jumps from shot to shot in a way that doesn't feel natural, are shots being held for an uncomfortably long amount of time.

Good editing: Kingsman: the secret service – the editing is jerky, creating an effect reminiscent of comic book panels, but you know where Galahad is relative to everyone else throughout the fight

Bad editing: Taken 3 – Liam Neeson getting over a fence did not need more than one cut, but instead, we get 13

The Design

Design is the look of the costumes and sets. You might think this is only important in fantasy or historical settings, but it plays a huge part in setting the tone for any film. Legally Blond and Mean Girls wouldn't be the classics they are without the fantastic choices of costumes, which walk a fine line between extravagant enough to be desirable to teenage girls without being cartoonish. In a historical setting you have the added concerns of accuracy, and with a fantasy or sci-fi film, there are things like how clearly the various races are visually defined from one another. Film is a visual medium, and if everyone looks the same is doesn't matter how good the story is, you're going to be confused. And think how well a classic haunted house horror movie wouldn't work if you just set it in a normal looking house.

What to look out for: do the costumes fit the personalities and situations of the characters, are they historically accurate, do the sets seem appropriate (abandoned places look abandoned, fancy places look fancy etc.), if the film features multiple alien races or tribes can you tell what group someone is from, straight up do you like looking at the sets and costumes

Good design: Mad Max: Fury Road – the sets and costumes for this film are bizarrely perfect considering they're from the same series as Lord Humongous. So much thought went into every single design choice, and the result is a visually stunning film.

Bad design: Suicide Squad – the sets are just plain boring, the characters look nothing like their comics counterparts, the female characters are all sexed up for no reason (and when your female characters are showing more flesh than the ones in a DC comic, you know you've screwed up) and Enchantress changes costume multiple times for no reason. Croc is the only good bit of design on show here.

The Sound

Sound is all the stuff you hear including music and sound effects. Sound balancing is the art of picking the volumes all the different stuff should be. Good sound balancing is a rare thing – the ultimate test is explosions followed by dialogue: if the explosion was loud but not painful and you can clearly hear the dialogue that follows, that's probably a well-balanced film. If the explosion was painfully loud, or the dialogue was incomprehensibly quiet, that's a badly balanced film. Sound effects are all the noises that are made artificially, like the noise of magic or ray-guns being used. The music is just that, the music. Used well it's an additional layer of storytelling (in the case of bizarre Uve Boll movie 'In the Name of the King' it basically replaces the script as the main storytelling tool) but it shouldn't detract or distract from the on-screen action. An original soundtrack is one composed of music written especially for the film, a licensed soundtrack is made up of pre-existing music edited to fit the film. Licensed soundtracks are popular in Hollywood right now because Guardians of the Galaxy made all of the money, but done badly they're usually much more distracting than a bad original score.

What to look out for: does the music fit the mood, can you hear everything that's going on, do you feel like your ears are bleeding every time something blows up, is listening to the music distracting you from concentrating on the dialogue or action

Good sound: Star Wars – someone had to come up with the noise for lightsabers, and that person was a god damn genius. 90% of the real appeal of Star Wars is that deeply satisfying noise. Plus the music is great.

Bad sound: GoldenEye – it's a great movie, but the sound during the famous chase scene is atrocious. The music cuts between silence, the Bond theme and the Jaws theme at random, the tire screeches are louder than the dialogue and the music cuts don't match up with the shot cuts the way they should

The Stunts

Stunt choreography is working out all the stunts and stunt work is actually performing them. This doesn't just apply to action movies – if there's a car accident, or a dream sequence involving falling, that's stunt work. Any fight scenes are stunt work. Horse riding is usually stunt work.

Things to look out for: does it look realistic, can you tell when they switch from actor to stunt performer, can you see the wires (literally or metaphorically), do the characters have distinct fighting styles where appropriate

Good stunts: Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the black pearl – the first fight between Jack and Will is a thing of beauty, perfectly coordinated, silly without being completely unbelievable, timed beautifully and totally in character

Bad stunts: The Dark Knight Rises – watch carefully and you'll notice several henchmen dramatically collapsing without ever being touched, plus the whole scene relies on they attacking one or two at a time

The other stuff:

The Casting

Casting is what actor is picked for what role, and it can have a really big impact on the finished product. Casting actors who despise one another as best friends, or an actor who looks and sounds like a human puppy dog as the scariest character, for example, can kill an otherwise good film stone dead. And then there's whitewashing characters who were supposed to be people of colour. The casting director is in charge of this, though directors also have a say as do producers.

What to look out for: does the actor physically look like the character they're playing, do they have the range for the role, do they have believable chemistry with the people they're sharing the film with, do you believe what they're saying and doing

Good casting: Watchmen – whatever else you may think about this film, it's perfectly cast. No one but Jackie Earle Haley could have delivered Rorschach's dialogue and still ended up with the audience rooting for him, plus everyone looks like they just walked right off the page

Bad casting: Psycho – remaking Psycho was a weird idea to begin with, but casting Vince Vaughn as the serial killer was a truly ludicrous idea. He's easily the worst thing about a thoroughly uninspired production

The Writing

Writing is the actual plot of the film, the dialogue, and usually a fair chunk of how the lines are delivered (scripts will often specify the emotion actors are aiming for, as well as some of the movements they should make). There's a trend these days in film reviewing to make the technical elements the be all and end all of a film's quality while overlooking the script itself. I see a lot of people blaming directors for not being able to film unfilmably bad scripts, and I very rarely see the writers getting the praise they deserve when a film has a really great story.

What to look out for: are the characters developed as individuals, do you know that the key players motivations are, do the decisions people make make sense, do you understand what is going on.

Good writing: The Mummy – despite an extremely silly plot, you are completely clear from the beginning what the motivations are, and why everyone is doing the deeply silly things they do, plus every single good guy is likeable, which is surprisingly rare

Bad writing: Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice – this script resolves the central conflict by having the characters realise that their (totally unrelated) mothers have the same name. They realise this because on the brink of death, one of the characters starts talking about his mother by name, despite always calling her mom up to this point.

The Directing

And finally, the directing. A director oversees the actual making of the film. They tell actors how to deliver their lines. They discuss with designers, cinematographers and editors how they want the film to look. They have a say in casting and they interpret the text of the script. It can be hard to pin down how much of any one production is down to the director and how much the other people working alongside them, but generally, the sign of a truly good director is when all the elements work together to tell the story.

Good direction: Pan's Labyrinth – Del Toro also wrote and helped design this film, so it's very much his baby, but the whole film is a master-class in how to bring together all the elements of a film into a cohesive whole, and it speaks volumes about the relationship he has with his crew

Bad direction: Blood Rayne – Uve Boll deliberately makes terrible films as part of a complicated tax dodge and is also a horrible human being, so it's no surprise that Blood Rayne is an appalling mess of a film that Ben Kingsley only agreed to be because they promised he could keep his cape

Hopefully, this has been helpful, and next time someone tells you a film you love is bad or vice verse you’ll actually be able to put into words exactly why they’re wrong.

#film studies #film making #film 101

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unnursvanablog · 4 years ago

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All the movies I watched in 2020.

Not a long list, because I am much more of a tv show person than a movie person. Months can pass and I suddenly realize I have not watch any movies.

The Farewell: An amazing and quiet little family story. The premise of this movie is so simple, yet it works so well. It's just amazing.

Hustlers: I liked it very much, and yet I have very few words to say about it for some reason.

Jojo Rabbit: Funny, sincere and thoughtful all at the same time. I really enjoyed it and how Taika Waititi uses humor to tell his stories. It's just so masterfully done.

Memories of Murder: Interesting and exciting, but by no means my favorite Bong Joon Ho movie. I am not that into crime-thrillers, so that might be it.

Little Women: Made me cry, just like all the other adaptations of Little Women. It was a new and interesting way to tell a very classic story. I really liked it a lot.

Portrait of Lady on Fire: A really interesting story. It hooked me right from the start. I loved how slow and quiet it was, yet so impactful.

The Hustle: I had to google what movie it was, because I had forgotten it. Says it all about that movie, huh? I do not like the humor that Rebel Wilson has and this movie is just riddled with that.

Gone Girl: It was interesting, but I did not find it that entertaining.

P.s. I Still Love You: I forgot this movie was released this year. Not as cute or fun as the first one. I felt like it lacked some of the charm the first one had. Not as re-watchable.

Tune in for Love: I loved this little romance story. I remember really enjoying it, yet I have very little to say about it.

Monsters: The idea was there, but the result was not up to par with what I had hoped. A decent popcorn flick, but it's often difficult to turn a monster movie into something more than just an empty battle-sequences with monsters with a interesting narrative, in my opinion.

Harry Potter 4: I watched it with my little niece after she finished the book. Idk, I still love this film. (also, this was before Terfy Rowling was a thing)

Guns Akimbo: I thought Daneil Radcliffe was really funny in it, it had some great dark humor, but gun fights is just something I get bored watching.

Emma: It delivered on everything that the trailer had promised me; Colorful, funny and a little weird. I really enjoyed it.

1917: I could quite see why people find this film amazing. It was beautifully shot. The story didn't really captivate me.

Bright Star: I found it a little too slow in parts. Beautiful to look at though.

Stardust: Ah, the perfect fantasy movie in my opinion.

The Great Battle: I had to google what movie this was, so it was not that memorable. An okay war movie, did not relate to the characters that much and it felt a little too long.

Kim Jiyoung, Born 1984: They changed the story a little from the book and made the husband a little less of a jerk to me. Did not have quite the same effect as the book did, but it was still good.

Time to Hunt: I got pretty bored while watching this movie. Watching some boys in a gang and their fraudulent activities and gunfights between them and the bad guys is just not something I usually enjoy watching.

The Fellowship of the Ring: Ah, what a classic. These movies age so well.

Eurovision: Fire Story: I liked the songs, I hated the story and Will Farrel and I do not have similar type of humor. I just find him boring and obnoxious.

Hamilton: It was incredibly cool and well-executed, I did find my attention slip a couple of times, as it is very long. Can I see why people have been hyping this up all these years? yes. Seeing this live would have been amazing.

Two Towers: What can I say? These are amazing movies that age so well. I enjoyed this so much. I don't do a lot of re-watching, so when I do and I enjoy it it feels like a treat.

The Love Birds: Had to google it, so not that memorable. A good comedy, but nothing really outside of the box.

Return of the King: Seeing this movie in theaters was amazing! I cried my eyes out during the ending, and it's really amazing how well these movies age.

Prince Caspian: My favorite Narnia movie. It doesn't follow the book very well, but I like it so much.

Old Guards: I loved the backstories and the more mythical part of the story behind it all. But gun fights just aren't exciting for me to watch. The last part was all that.

#Alive: I found the first half really interesting, but the second half ends up being a pretty typical zombie movie that I've seen so many times before.

The Odd Family - Zombie on Sale: Omg, this movie. I loved it! How it mixes humor and horror without neither of those elements overshadowing each other or anything was amazing. I had an incredible time watching it, I liked pretty much all of the characters, I laughed out loud a few times (and that is rare for me) and the story managed to be really exciting on top of that. What a good movie!

Train to Busan: This movie is kinda amazing no matter how often you watch it. There is just something that really works in this movie. It takes advantage of the genre it is set it, the space where the stories takes place, and does something new with it. The plot is great, it's intense and sad when it needs to be. A fun time!

Penninsula: oh boy.... this movie was an empty thriller that adds nothing to the movie that came before it and nothing new to the zombie-horro-genre. It truly was everything that Train to Busan wasn't. It was not good.

Seel Rain: This is such a good thriller. The performance of the actors is really good, it has some humor, it has some heart, and it even managed to surprise me on a second watch.

Steel Rain 2: I loved the beginning and the middle of this movie, as the relationship between the three presidents who are stuck in a submarine together was really fascinating and fun to watch. When the plot looses that element it becomes rather a formulaic thriller. Yoo Yeon Seok is the best part of the movie.

Mulan (1998): I love this movie, by far one of the best Disney movies. I watched it in English this time, so some of the jokes were not as funny to me in English as they are in Icelandic... in my memory.

Mulan (2020): oh my, this was something. All the warmth, all the emotions and all the humor from the original film was just not present in this one. It just seemed so empty.

The Mummy: It's weird to watch a movie that is so beloved, it's quotes a lot, but it's not a part of your nostalgia so something about it feels lost to you. There is this pressure to like something that is so well loved, and often I have seen references to these movies and I feel like I have already seen it, when I finally see it. I liked it well enough, but I also felt this disconnect to it.

Double Worlds: She looked much more fun that it was. The plot was not good, nothing that happened seemed to matter and for me it seemed just pretty empty and full of CGI that looked cool enough but didn't add a thing to it.

The Craft: It's always nice when you watch a well-loved film and you really enjoy yourself while watching it.

Coraline: I can't believe it took me so long to watch this movie. I still knew the story quite well even though I had not seen it so little about it surprised me.

The Divine Fury: I thought it was a little too long and a bit all of the place at times. I thought it started well, but by the end I was getting pretty bored.

The Babysitters Guide to Monster Hunting: I thought it was silly but in a way that kinda works for this story. Good fun, if you do not dig too much into the plot.

The Personal History of David Copperfield: Dev Patel is awesome in this role and the tone of the film itself is rather whimsical, which I enjoyed. Judging by the trailer, I expected it to be funnier, but we can't have everything.

Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl: This movie is a classic. At least for people my age. Everything about it just kinda works: The humor, the story, the characters, battles. She's just so good.

The Call: A really interesting storyline and the idea behind it is really cool. I thoroughly enjoyed it, it surprised me a few times, although I found the ending a bit confusing.

The Prom: The decent musical. I found it rather sweet, the songs were fun and most of the actors in it were nice. I had a fun time watchin it.

Jingle Jangle: A very cute family Christmas movie. I adored the costumes and the sets. The songs were really good. I thought it dragged on a bit sometimes, but it was still really cute and wholesome.

Guernsey Litarary and Potato Peel Society: This is just a really well made costume drama. I was not bored to watch it again.

Parasite: It's just as spectacular to watch this movie the second time watching it, or third, as it was watching it for the first time. The sequence of events is so gripping that it had me on the each of my seat as I was excited to experience all those things again.

#movie review #Movie Reviews #out of all of my end-of-the-year reviews I struggle with this one the most #I don't feel like I have too much to say about most of the movies I watch #compared to tv shows or books

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agentnico · 7 years ago

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Top 10 WORST Movies of 2017

This year’s been interesting to me in terms of bad films. I seem to have avoided the main bad ones, with the likes of ‘Transformers: The Last Knight’, ‘Fifty Shades Darker’, ‘Geostorm’, ‘The Emoji Movie’ and a few others, so even though I’ve heard they were terrible, I cannot put them on this list for I have not seen them. However still the following list are the films that I found to be most displeasing to me nonetheless, and I apologise to anyone who likes any of the following movies, for I am just sharing my personal opinion on them. And I feel like I definitely will make some people unhappy with some of my choices here, as some films on this list are actually fairly liked (especially the top 2 worst films on this list will cause some discomfort for some), but for me they just didn’t work.

DISHONOURABLE MENTIONS: Goodbye Christopher Robin, Ghost in the Shell, Fast & Furious 8.

10) ALIEN: COVENANT - Alright, so ‘Alien: Covenant’ is not a terrible film, it’s just the definition of mediocre and Hollywood running out of ideas. Ridley Scott takes aspects from the first two ‘Alien’ films as well as ‘Prometheus’ and rehashes them without adding anything majorly new, which ends in a lazy sloppy film that, even though visually looks good, feels completely lack-luster and pointless. What makes me more sad is that I know that Ridley Scott has the talent to do better. In fact, his last film ‘All the Money in the World’ is a very well made thriller based on a true story where Scott really shines as the director, which make it even more disappointing how he cannot bring the franchise that he originally created back on its feet. And for anyone who wants to see ‘Alien: Covenant’ for James Franco, don’t. Just don’t (unless you are planning to switch the film off 5 minutes in, in that case do go watch it for Franco!). Full review: http://agentnico.tumblr.com/post/160697767214/alien-covenant-2017-review

9) THE CHIPS MOVIE - I didn’t actually finish this film, and that is because I got bored. The jokes weren’t funny, and this is supposed to be a comedy, so that pretty much sums up why this film is bad. Honestly, I don’t even know what I was expecting. Full review: N/A (I did not review this film on the blog)

8) THE GREAT WALL - The Great Wall of China was built to defend against weird CGI’d monsters. Well okay, it’s a fantasy, I can accept that. But boy, even for a fantasy this film does not make any sense. And, at the end of the day, this film is just too damn stupid. I mean, I appreciate that this is a big budget motion picture about China, but at the same time a bad film is a bad film. Full review: http://agentnico.tumblr.com/post/159233230134/the-great-wall-2017-review

7) THE MUMMY - I kind of feel sorry for Universal. They are really trying to make this Dark Universe cinematic universe thing happen, and it’s just not working out for them. They began with ‘Dracula Untold’ and that failed, so they rebooted again with ‘The Mummy’ which failed also, and now it seems like they will be starting from scratch again. At this point I think they should simply drop it. ‘The Mummy’ was a big-budget mess, and there’s not much more to it. If you want a good Tom Cruise 2017 film to watch, look no further than the very enjoyable ‘American Made’. ‘The Mummy’ on the other hand should be forever forgotten. Full review: http://agentnico.tumblr.com/post/161654366954/the-mummy-2017-review

6) PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: SALAZAR’S REVENGE - Disney, stop making ‘Pirates’ films. Just stop. They are getting worse and worse. This one is no exception. Johnny Depp as Jack Sparrow is officially a caricature of each Jack Sparrow from the previous films. Now, I hope you realise that ain’t a good thing! Also, for the budget that this film had, the visual effects are honestly speaking simply embarrassing. What did you spend all that money on, Disney? Oh yeah, that’s right, funding Johnny Depp’s island! Full review: http://agentnico.tumblr.com/post/161123151399/pirates-of-the-caribbean-salazars-revenge-2017

5) THE BELKO EXPERIMENT - Interesting concept, bad execution (pun intended). What could have been a great social study turns out to be more of a guilty pleasure flick, only without the pleasure part. The movie never really knows what it wants to be, and the very forced sequel set-up is nothing but annoying. Full review: http://agentnico.tumblr.com/post/159644906714/the-belko-experiment-2017-review

4) BAYWATCH - I mean, look, there will be many out there who will have a lot of fun with ‘Baywatch’. Unlike ‘The Belko Experiment’, this can work as a guilty pleasure flick, however it’s not for me. The level of comedy was too dumb for my liking, and with the very funny trailers the final product was even more disappointing. Full review: http://agentnico.tumblr.com/post/161235915729/baywatch-2017-review

3) RESIDENT EVIL: THE FINAL CHAPTER - At the end of the day I don’t know what I was expecting. A surprisingly good film in a franchise that so far has been terrible? I should get my head out of my ass. Also, it was a January release. And its sort of a rule now that somewhere in my worst films of the year list there is a January movie, since minus the late Oscar-releases, January is kind of a dump month for studios. January of 2017 we had the likes of ‘Underworld: Blood Wars’, ‘xXx: The Return of Xander Cage’ and ‘The Bye Bye Man’ were amongst those dumped movies, yet I tend to give January films some slack, but one always makes the list, and this year it was ‘Resident Evil: The Final Chapter’. Full review: http://agentnico.tumblr.com/post/156930554774/resident-evil-the-final-chapter-2017-review

2) GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY VOL. 2 - This was is going to cause probably the most disagreement, since I am aware that a lot of people enjoyed this film. In fact a lot of good friends of mine liked it, which is fair enough, but for me it did not work. Easily the biggest disappointment for me this year. I love the first ‘Guardians of the Galaxy’ film, however this was a big step down. To be honest, this movie isn’t the worst thing ever, the reason why it’s 2nd worst on my list is simply because it was indeed the most disappointing 2017 movie for me. I was really excited for it, and it was everything I did not want it to be and more. Instead of a proper story, the film felt more like ‘a day in a life of’ kinda deal, which took any proper stakes away. All the characters became more caricatured, and the soundtrack was nowhere as good as from the first film. The ending was done nicely but the rest of the movie is all over the place. This is possibly an example where a director for a studio film had too much creative freedom. I think there needs to be a sort of right balance between creative freedom and studio interference, it’s only a matter of finding that balance. Full review: http://agentnico.tumblr.com/post/160115869259/guardians-of-the-galaxy-vol-2-2017-review

1) JUSTICE LEAGUE - Out of all the movies on this list, there is only one that I truly hated. An here we are. The DC Cinematic Universe is a trainwreck by this point (minus ‘Wonder Woman’ respectively), and ‘Justice League’ is worst of the lot. With no knowledge of what pacing is apparently, this film rushes through all of its scenes and jumps to so many locations within minutes trying to throw so much at us without actually giving any substance or character work, that I was baffled at how Warner Bros. actually let this movie be released. And don’t get me started on the villain; he looks like a PS2 character! He’s fully CGI’d, and looks terrible for it, and he has the most generic plot line possible. For all my issues with this film, check out my full review where I go more in-depth, but this was easily the worst cinema experience I had this year. I was bored during 70-80% of it. There are a few redeeming qualities, but they are overshadowed by the list of negatives. And Henry Cavill’s upper lip is something to behold! Full review: http://agentnico.tumblr.com/post/167589149664/justice-league-2017-review

And with that I can now forget all these movies (finally!). I still have my Best Movies of 2017 list coming up, and its a good one, as 2017 was a very strong year in film, that’s for sure. So keep a look out for that list and then my reviews for 2018 films (here’s hoping for a good year!) and thank you for reading my blog!

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amandaklwrites · 5 years ago

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Movie Review: Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End (POTC #3) (2007)

Genre: Action/Adventure/Fantasy

Rating: 10/10

Movie Review:

I’m going to be honest here. While I loved this movie as much as the others, I also felt like I was high on drugs the whole time.

You have to admit. This one was trippy. A ship flipping upside down in the water? A huge waterfall landing them in Davy Jones’s Locker inside the Kraken?? (Like.... how does that work??). Jack seeing multiple versions of himself? And how did they not freeze that frozen tundra? Pirates managing to entrap a goddess in a human form?????

But this one has the most fantasy out of all them, to me. (Though I still need to rewatch Dead Men Tell No Tales, and I remember that one being far out there too).

This was the first of the POTC movies I saw in theaters (remember how I said these movies scared me when I was young because of the violence? It took me a while to start watching them on the big screen).

This one has so many great points though, especially when it comes to character arcs. We see Elizabeth Swann develop into the strongest, most badass female character I have ever seen (PIRATE KING!!!!), and she’s fully into the pirate world. She’s become herself, she has figured out that she will make decisions that will be risky, but she has to choose what is best for her. Will Turner saves his father, though he doesn’t 100% realize the sacrifice he’s making because he’s dead, and protects Jack and Elizabeth until his dying breath. Jack discovers that protecting just himself doesn’t make the world turn, so he gives up immortality for Will (though, you know, he still goes searching for the Fountain of Youth). Norrington, with the help of Elizabeth awakening him more, realizes that the system he is a part of doesn’t work, it can be rather cruel, so he protects the people he should be stopping and ends up dying in the process, but he still did the right thing. There are so many finales of character arcs in this movie, that you can tell the screenwriters did a marvelous job at doing an actual trilogy that worked and made sense.

Let’s talk about Tia Dalma and Davy Jones for a moment. I remember being in the theater and I knew it was the two of them that had been involved (Tia Dalma, or Calypso for that matter, was the one Davy Jones loved). And I love their love story, though I do have questions. Davy Jones was human at one point when they were in love, and I want to know how he had met a goddess and fallen in love with her. But alas, we didn’t get the whole story. But what we did get was wonderful. That scene with them talking was one of the best love stories I had ever seen. Her touching his face and seeing him human broke me nearly in half. We saw the man behind the monster, we saw the man without a heart look at her with such love. For someone who couldn’t feel because of his heart, that scene, I think we saw so much more emotion than we could believe. Remember what I said in the last review about love stories being at the heart of basically every story? Here, we know it. Davy Jones was spurned in love and that’s what led him into the villain we know. And that makes it so interesting and complicated.

Now, I found it strange that when Calypso was released (and I know who she’s supposed to be, I've read the stories) from her human form, she... just turned into a storm? I know it was supposed to represent her rage, and she’s a goddess that can become anything she wants, but it just felt a little lacking. I wanted to see more of what she could do. However, I do think there was supposed to be some metaphor or symbology or whatever at the end. When Davy Jones died, he said her name, and then the storm stopped. I hope that means their souls are together somewhere, that their love/hate storyline had ended in the human world. They moved on somewhere else, and maybe, the goddess Calypso brought her love back with her in some form. That’s what I would hope for them.

Beckett. I would love to slap him in his scrawny face. But I mean, you have to give him credit as a villain. He literally had control of THE powerful villain creature. That makes him an ultimate villain. He used others, he manipulated. He had Elizabeth’s father murdered (Elizabeth’s reaction is so heartbreaking, she literally has no family left, except for the one she creates with the pirates). He was a metaphor for the greed and destruction of the human world. He was literally that representation. He was the entitled bastard that made people want to become pirates (because I guarantee you, so many pirates in history became that way because they didn’t want to follow the British systems any longer-- they even created their own!). He is what is wrong with our world.

But what I love is how little of importance he is. They literally just blow up his ship, killing him, and that’s it. There’s no great battle with him, no final eulogies of the villain. He literally means nothing to them. While he’s a mastermind at manipulation and power and control, he’s so meaningless that he’s not even worth the fight. They just turn their ships, blow him out of the sea, and wipe their hands clean.

And that’s because, honestly, he’s one of those men that use other people to get what he wants. He may have the power, he may figure out how to have power over people and control them, but without those people, he’s nothing. He has others do his dirty work, he has a sea captain with power and infamy kill people for him. He’s the epitome of the bastards high in power who do absolutely nothing. He’s the gang leader who sends everyone off to kill people for him, and keeps his hands clean. It’s a weird psychology thing, one that I won’t get into too much depth about, because I could write pages and pages about it. But the best revenge is not giving him the satisfaction of rage or a battle. Just blow him up like the little, worthless man he is.

Barbossa is still just incredible because he’s there. He doesn’t really have any story arc, which is fine, because he’s the character that represents the pirate’s life. Him and Beckett are on opposite ends, to represent these two different worlds. He has depth, he’s interesting, but he’s also somewhat of a prop for others to bounce off of. He’s there to create humor and tension with Jack. He has the best quips. He’s not necessarily a one-dimensional character, but he’s rather close to it. But we all still love him because he’s just... Barbossa. The battle scene with him marrying Elizabeth and Will is one of my favorites as well, because it’s funny and sweet and monumental.

Will’s death and transformation is effortlessly done, and I try not to cry every time I watch it. Throughout all the movies, we see Will slowly come out of his shell-- he was so quiet and in his place in the first movie-- and controlling the ships without Jack or Barbossa. He’s constantly proving himself as a leader, and THEN, he becomes the leader of one of the most famous ships on the seven seas. I remember crying in the theaters when Will died, but then seeing him as captain of the Flying Dutchman was quite the gasping moment. But what I noticed this time was that the crew changed-- they were monsters anymore, they were men. Will became the captain and instantly, everything changed. Because he’s a good leader, a good man. And he would treat them fairly and like other men.

I have to admit, the ending scene of Will and Elizabeth on the beach was rather... hot, let’s just be honest. Especially kissing her leg. Like good lord, I’ve never felt so hot in my life. And it releases some tension-- they’ve been waiting YEARS to finally have sex. Now, they have. And it makes them feel different, which is wonderful to see. Will and Elizabeth have literally gone through hell and death and the ends of the world for each other. It may not be happily ever after because he’s gone for so many years at a time, but they still have each other. And honestly, if they are ever out at sea, he can protect them from afar.

Jack has come a long way too. It ends with him and Gibbs planning to find the Fountain of Youth, even though Barbossa-- once again!-- has stolen the Black Pearl. Jack may have come rather far-- the many different versions of him was... interesting, and funny-- but we see that he’s still who he is. A pirate who wants to live forever. That will never change. But he has learned some things, and that’s the whole point.

The trilogy is over. There are more stories to come, but this arc, Elizabeth’s (and even Will’s story) have pretty much concluded. The scene at the very end, of Will returning home to visit Elizabeth and his son, is one to remember. The trilogy started with Elizabeth, and her finding Will, and it ends once again with Elizabeth, and Will coming home. It was always this love story, these two falling in love and being together, despite everything, of Will Turner and Elizabeth Swann. This is Elizabeth’s story, at the very, very heart, and we watched this world of piracy and adventure unfold with her, watching her grow at the same time.

#pirates of the caribbean #pirates of the caribbean at world's end #at world's end #movie reviews

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