#I’ve been getting used to it tho
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idk why but my stomach does this thing where everytime I eat something, even the smallest snack, my stomach will either: 1. Hurt mildly for the next like 5-15 minutes. Or. 2. Give me a sharp pain that last about 5-10 seconds about 15 minutes after eating.
and unfortunately I can’t say anything about it because I’m asked if I’m on my period. Like no, I ended that a week ago, this has been happening consistently for the past three ish months
#Pain :(#and idk what to do about it#I’ve been getting used to it tho#So I’ll occasionally fall down in pain like once a week#But otherwise it’s just a Thing that happens
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mfw i’m only 16 and have single-handedly made several of the most powerful cultivators cry simply by calling them stupid and telling a few “yo mama” jokes without any repercussions from the elders of my own clan who let me do/say whatever the hell i want because they’ve given up on trying to stop me
#chad#mdzs#the untamed#mo dao zu shi#cql#chen qing ling#lan jingyi#precious gremlin#mdzs crack#mdzs meme#mdzs shitposting#apple babble 🍎#the grandmaster of demonic cultivation#fr tho nobody checks this kid ever#he gets a free pass for everything#prob bc nobody else wants to get roasted into oblivion lmFAO#chicken boy#i know he’s more goblin than gremlin but I’ve been using the gremlin tag forever and don’t wanna go through changing it in every post 😭
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Do you plan on making full body ref sheets for Champion of Chaos and Champion of Famine?
I might make one for the Goat and Seal someday, but for now I’m glad that I finally figured out a full ref for these two!
(some bonus stream doodles below)
#cult of the lamb#cult of the lamb fanart#cult of the lamb au#to be honest I’m not sure what to call this au#something something reflections of the lamb or something of that#maybe I’ll figure it out as I go along#I’m so glad I finally got this out there tho#I’ve had this as a wip since Mid August#and I might do more with them soon#I’ve had this idea for a comic with all five crown bearers that’s been brewing in my head since September#but for now I might just do some fun doodles just to get used to drawing them again
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*deep breath in*
the fears 👏 have always 👏 been (in one way or another) 👏 parallel 👏 to 👏 desire 👏
let me explain.
so many of the statements given by actual avatars center around some sort of need that was met by their entity. Lots of them even had a positive relationship with the fear that drove them.
Jane Prentiss is an excellent example - the Corruption has always been about a form of toxic and possessive love, but she personally has a deep desire to be “fully consumed by what loves her,” and finds a perverse joy and relief at allowing herself to be a home
Jude Perry is another - she fucking loved watching people’s lives be utterly destroyed. The Desolation only offered her a power of destruction on a grander scale, and then gave her a more intense rush of joy as she did its work. When she tells Jon that he needs to feed the Eye before it feeds on him, it’s almost as an afterthought; she was happily feeding the Desolation long before it burned her into a new existence.
Simon Fairchild. Every time that old loose bag of bones wanders into the picture, he is having a fucking EXCELLENT time playing with the Vast. He loves showing people their own insignificance, and he loves luring them into situations where he can throw them into the void as he smiles and waves.
Peter Lukas (hell, the whole Lukas family (except Evan. RIP Evan.)) hated. people. all he wanted was for them all to go away, to leave him alone. The Lonely only fulfilled that desire.
Daisy, Trevor, and Julia, all devoted to hunting those things they deemed monstrous.
Melanie, holding tight to that bullet in her leg because on some level, she wanted it. It felt good, it felt right, it felt like it fit right alongside the anger and spite that drove her to success.
Annabelle Cane first encountered the Web when she was a child, running away from home in order to tug on her parents’ heartstrings in just the right way to have them wrapped around her little finger. Later on she volunteered to be the subject of an ESP study. Hell, she’s the one who dangled the “Is it really You that wants this?” question over Jon’s head in S4.
And that brings us to Jon, beloved Jarchivist, the Voice that Opened the Door. Ever since he was a child targeted by the Web, he was looking for answers. He joined the Magnus Institute’s Research Department looking for them, he stalked his coworkers in search for them, he broke into Gertrude’s flat and laptop out of desperation for them. And when he realized that all he had to do was Ask to get truthful answers to his questions? It was only natural for him to jump at that opportunity.
Elias told S3 Jon that he did want this, that he chose it, that at every crossroads he kept pushing onwards, and the inner turmoil that caused was one of the focal points for Jon’s character through the rest of the podcast.
There’s a certain line of thinking in many circles about the power of the Devil: he’s not able to create anything new. All he’s able to do is twist and warp that which was already present, making it something ugly and profane while still maintaining the facade of something desirable.
Jon didn’t choose the Eye. But he did wander into its realm of power, exhibiting exactly the qualities it was most capable of hijacking and warping to its own ends. Jon didn’t choose the Apocalypse. But Jonah picked at him little by little, pointing him towards each Fear individually. Jon didn’t want to release the Fears. But the Web tugged on his strings just so and laid a pretty trail for him to follow until he reached its desired conclusion.
Jon didn’t choose ultimate power, or omniscience, or even his own role as Head Archivist. But he said “yes” to the right (wrong?) orders and kept on pushing for the right (wrong?) answers. He wanted to succeed at the work he had been assigned. He wanted to protect his friends. He wanted to rescue them when they were lost. He wanted to prevent the apocalypse, to save the world. He wanted to know why he was still alive, when so many had died right in front of him.
The Great Wheel of Evil Color that is the Entities might not fit as neatly into categories in this universe - maybe there was no Robert Smirke trying to impose strict categories on emotional experiences, or maybe the ways they manifest in the world has turned on its head (goodness knows many of them have been showcased and blended in some very fun and new and horrifying ways so far) - but their fundamental foundations seem to be the same. Hell, in episode one we learned that there had been enough individual incidents to create a distinction between “dolls, watching” and “dolls, human skin.”
Smirke’s Fourteen isn’t going to be relevant as common parlance, RQ said that already, but I don’t think that means the Fears themselves (and their Dream Logic-based rules) are different - I think it means that the levels of understanding, language used, and personal connections among people “in the know” are going to be entirely unfamiliar
#tma#tmagp#the magnus protocol#tmagp meta#tmagp analysis#the entities#robert smirke#smirke's fourteen#mind write a meta post that doesn’t turn into a fucking essay challenge#I literally thought about citing my episode sources here but decided that would get too FUCKING long.#anyway I’m pulling mostly from Gerry’s statement (111) and#and the Big Elias Group Confrontation (92)#and Annabelle’s statement (147)#and then finale - 196 / 197 / 200#there are other little lines that I grabbed - tbh feel free to ask about anything I’ve said bc I feel like I’m ready to defend a thesis#I’ve been thinking about this on and off for a few weeks since the desire thing started going around#I have an obsession with Themes as they relate to Worldbuilding and now I have subjected you all to it as well#I am serious tho if anyone wants me to pull the specific parts I’m talking about (whether cuz you have Questions or you wanna ref them too)#lmk#my hyperfocus on silly media brain might as well come in useful somehow#aight peace ✌️
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“where else did he want to run to when he was scared besides right here?”
extract from a scene in Hide Your Fires by @starsworth
I am still in pieces since that hug ✌🏻
#no bc I’ve sooo slowly been trying to get back into drawing#and this scene hit me in the face and said BITCH#and so#I vomited it on paper#but it still haunts me#these two fucking haunt me night and day#genuinely obsessed w them#don’t let the quotes fool you I didn’t quote the worst ones#I’m gonna be a bit mean and put it here tho#bc this one?#“Maybe when the circle of Sirius’ arms stopped being a space he was welcome in.”#YEAH THIS ONE PUNCHED ME IN THE NOSE#anyway I forgot the actual tags I need to use#the black brothers#regulus fanart#sirius fanart#hide your fires fanart#black brothers fanart#sirius and regulus#hp fanart#maraudeurs fanart#maraudeurs#sirius black art#regulus black#sirius black#iris tries to art
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Same vibe tbh
#assassin’s creed#connor kenway#ratonhnhaké:ton#ac3#ac fanart#my art#digital art#I was watching an extremely goofy movie and max kinda reminded me of a teenage Connor low key#drew adult Connor tho bc I’m evil#I can’t believe how productive I’ve been with art the last week#… no one get used to it LMFAOOO#modern au
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I’m trying out new brushes 😎
#I’ve been getting a lot of TikToks talkin shit ab tf animated designs#the majority of the designs in that show are so good it’s not even funny#ppl on TikTok need to use their brain eyes or something#I still hate Optimus’s design in that show tho#half of it looks so goofy I cannot lie#bumblebee#tf#transformers fanart#tf animated#my art
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sierra the superfan
#td fanart#td#total drama#total drama fanart#td sierra#td sierra fanart#mezzbian#tdi fanart#tdi#it wouldve been so easy to fix her characters writing GOD#they didn’t rlly even use the superfan part of her character except for when she was being a creep which is eugh#idk i feel attached to her but only the version I’ve written in my head#i would get sent to the shadow realm if i said that on tdtwt tho
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people will think im ordinary until they say one (1) thing about tmnt and all of a sudden im explaining the entire lore starting from the 1990’s movie & why donatello is the best turtle i fear… T^T
tag limit fights me… i must yap… please listen… SOB </3
#tmnt yap in the taggies !!#would you believe me if i said my cat is named after donnie… teehee !! ^_^#i have been a tmnt lover since i was the ripe age of 6 years old SOBSOB#i used to write bf headcanons on wattpad way long ago… thats where my love for writing started i fear…#i probably have more tmnt merch than i do anime merch which is soso crazy to think about PHEW !!!#notebooks cups plushies legos shirts pajamas stickers tins action figs keychains name something and i have it… is that weird… SOB#im not joking when i say i know the entire lore and could explain everything from start to finish… FOR EACH AND EVERY REBOOT EVER…. wowza…#other than rottmnt because i’ve never been a fan of that reboot sigh…#the only reason donatello hamato isnt on my blorbie list is because i do not want to seem out of touch… he used to be there though !! :3#also i love raph too sigh#i fear donnie was my start to my love for nerdy men… raph was for the mean ones… cough cough akaashi and bakugo#tall lanky men… yeah hes a turtle… i know… let me speak… pls… i beg… T^T#tmnt 2012 will always be my star my light my beloved#i can recite every single episode </3 ALSO THE 2014 & 2017 MOVIES DONT GET ME STARTED i have them on dvd :3#i also have the 1990’s movies on dvd teehee theyre sososososoo good T^T my comfort franchise forever and always#i may always speak of anime but just know tmnt will always be the start of it all and my most beloved <3 its everything to me#also i was and still am an avid tmnt 2012 april oneil hater someone get her out of there i loathe her >:/#was never a supa big fan of leo im very sorry… idk who im sorry to… where are my tmnt fans… am i alone in this world… hello… tmnt fans…#omigosh im back after looking at my old wattpad story IM GIGGLING why was the writing kinda good… it was first person though sigh… goodness#i should create my own tmnt yap tag i fear… i will never shut up about it EVER SOBSOBSOB !! i even had a tmnt party when i was younger </3#donnie ( & mikey ) are so misunderstood UGH i could yap about the lore all day. donnie deserved more recognition he was always doing so muc#FOR ALL of his brothers and they never appreciated it… ill cry right now. donnie you will always be famous to me. april doesnt deserve you.#raph and his temper are so misunderstood too like please. always making him the bad guy HE JUST WANTS TO BE A GOOD BROTHER HES JUST AWKWARD#remembering when i had a crush on a guy names joseph in first grade and he liked tmnt too… joseph just know we were soulmates… i promise </#i used to go up to the tv and kiss the screen when donnie showed up. i was like 6 years old tho its okay… still sleep with my stuffie tho.#thank you to my yaya for buying me that when i had the flu hes still in perfect condition SOB donatello i love you so much UGH im crying#‘thats a mutant turtle ew !!’ HE IS VERY BEAUTIFUL AND LOVEABLE TO ME. YOU WOULDNT UNDERSTAND EVERYPONY </3 nia reference woah hi nia :3#whos in favor of tmnt. raise your hands up high so i can see them. im giggling. tmnt lovers rise we sha’ll prosper… WE RIDE AT DAWN 🦅🦅🦅#is this like totally crazy of me… has anyone read this far… if you have jusy know i love you. i cherish you. you are my everything <3#₍ᐢ..ᐢ₎ — lene’s latest gossip .ᐟ
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I guess you can say im comfortable enough to get out of my hiatus
Does anyone miss me ….. 🥹
#cherub.txt#this is gonna take some time to get used to LOL#im not too connected with tumblr like I used to but I miss my moots here and I need a place to be mushy gushy to my faves without the verge#of feeling like someone is going to throw tomatoes at me LMFAO im probably over reacting but I kinda miss interacting with other self shippe#-ers#I will be honest I haven’t drawn self ship art besides my really bad wips I’ve been at my fanartist era#THO I did receive some art from friends and a particular video from someone…#SORRY IM RAMBLING I miss talking here
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Gawd I’m. it’s 4:20am and I’ve been listening to exclusively the new 21 savage album since it dropped last night and I’m thinking abt my ocs . And spacewaffles I suppose
#RRRGG I can never get Bacon’s colors right but it’s ok!!!#it’s sooo okay and fine I’m deffo not upset abt it ^_^#lifesteal smp#baconnwaffles0#planetlord#oc: Corduroy#im so proud of the name Corduroy I really like it . need to flesh out her character more <33#UGH ok I dislike how Planet’s head/hair looks and Bacon’s hair is too fucking saturated AND you can’t tell that’s it’s braids !!!#Corduroy looks fine. love you Corduroy <333#according to procreate I spent 2.5 hours on this OHGG MY GOD WHYYY#ok caption true tho new 21 kinda awesome#my favorites so far r see the real and uhh#wait hold on#and just like me . special mention should’ve wore a bonnet . THAT song takes me straight back to middle school and swing screen doors <3333#AND ICE POPS AND WATER BALLON FIGHTS that we were allowed to start past 7pm cuz parents would make us clean up and we had school#damn. I love music#ok bye I’ve been here for long enough and i probs need to sleep lol#nox art
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Nah bc why do I feel like Netflix and the st writers are beefing so hard rn bc of the strike that someone from the production leaked the casting for Linda Hamilton so that the reveal on Tudum would be super anticlimactic…
I also thought Chase Stokes was sort of random for a host, but considering OBX 4 literally just started filming days ago, it’s almost like they’re rewarding those that are being most loyal to Netflix 👀
#byler#one of the most famous signs from the strike was ‘pay us or we’ll spoil succession’…#and ever since then I’ve been thinking about how threatening to leak stuff is a really badass tactic to get Netflix sweating#and then this article dropped and ppl were like ‘that’s not a trusted source’#and yet the article said they got like top secret insider info…#from who exactly 👀#no bc fr why didn’t anyone from st show up?#literally Noah Millie and Finn were all in Atlanta at the same time like a week ago#if filming was going to start in June#there’s a good chance at least a small portion of the cast had open availability since filming got stopped#and yet they didn’t line up nothing#either Netflix is bitter and punishing their actors#or they’re just stupid??#would not put that past them honestly#it would be even more stupid not to realize they’re just hurting themselves tho by punishing the st crew#bc that also means punishing the fans aka your subscribers 🤨#for legal reasons#I leaked the linda hamilton casting#the writers had nothing to do with it!!
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The Ink Demonth Day 23: Stairs
“Is he asleep?”
Oooh this one was hard. I suck at drawing scenery, especially ones with dimensions, so this one was difficult. I like how it turned out though! The stairs were such a pain tho.
#batim#bendy and the ink machine#ink demonth 2024#the ink demonth#batim au#norman polk#batim norman#Art#artist on tumblr#i still have problems doing backgrounds#I’ve been getting better tho#This Ink Demonth has definitely made me more used to stepping out of my comfort zone
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Got a couple new sketchbooks!! Kermit gets the first page of this one 💚
#its been.. so long since I’ve drawn traditionally.. its gonna take some getting used to#I missed it tho#also for the record Kermit is hard to draw!! I was surprised!!#weird little green sock of a muppet /lov#maybe expect more sketchbook drawings soon?? idk this is fun#the muppets#kermit the frog#Kermit#the muppet show#muppets#kermit fanart#handy dandy notebook
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I’ve been really thinking of reopening my art shop soon… I’ve been taking some practice doodles (hence all the posting lately) while I shake off my rust and I’m finding things I enjoy working on again. I miss trying my hand at more dragons/OCs and colors. my shop’s so broken rn lmao but that’s a problem for a later date it’s just nice getting back into art
#my mental health is starting to improve a bit#took a couple years but I found some meds that finally work better for me#ofc things aren’t 100% but I was really in a pit for a while#like ‘did not leave my house in months and slept 14 hours a day’ kind of pit#so. any improvement is better lol. but nah I’ve been making real improvement and im doing better. a lil shaky sometimes but that’s expected#diagnosed with chronic fatigue too. which is unfortunate but not unexpected. i am indeed god’s sleepiest soldier#i feel like a raisin slowly rehydrating but considering i was in a desert before any hydration is welcome#just learning how to enjoy things again overall#one thing I just couldn’t get myself to do (and enjoy) was art. doodles here and there but nothing to post#and it’s kind of funny because I feel like that downtime actually gave me a chance to think about what I wanted to work on#even when I wasn’t actively practicing#just paying attention to things I guess. enjoying art styles#i genuinely think my experimenting with stained is helping me learn colors#i spend hours in the scryshop im glad it’s paying off lmao#i want to tackle bigger things but i just gotta ease myself into the hang of things again#for now im having fun and that’s coooool. thank you all for your nice comments#i read all tags while kicking my feet and giggling. thank u all#that’s the update on Me tho. more to come hopefully#starting next month/julyish I will have a significant amount of time to dedicate to drawing which i intend on doing#so who knooowwwsss#rambles#funny enough coloring has become my favorite part of the process now. it used to be lineart. now lineart annoys me LOL#i also feel like i kinda lost my ability to write which has been frustrating but im focusing on art first#anyways that’s a whole different tangent rant over
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AUGH! I miss working out yall!!
#my taking three rest days turned into now over a week bc I’ve been sick#it’s been going around but it hit me like a TRUCK holy shit#<- it’s basically been like that since I got covid a couple years ago didhsndi but my immune system sucksss#I don’t get as sick as often as I used to tho which is good bc 2022 was roughhhh#however I can complain a smidge bc it’s still not fun#I WILL! get back to my workouts I am recovering but damn this suckssss#lynx talks
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