#I’m working out a bunch and eating healthy meals

[whentherewerebicycles]

wow I love my little weights class!! everyone is so friendly and nice and they all joke around with each other the whole time. I still feel some worry about exercising hard in pregnancy (like is he ok in there???) but all the research/guidance seems to indicate it’s totally fine and only positive. I def would’ve been too nervous to go hard in the first trimester but now it does feel like he’s a little more firmly planted yknow.

[wonderjanga]

Magical Fawcett drugs get smuggled into a bunch of cities and the entire League is LOSING THEIR MINDS trying to control the chaos. And then Cap just goes:

"Ahh, the good old days. You know, I used to be addicted to this (this referring to a drug so powerful it could shut down every bodily function instantly for like a solid 2 days and magically make you well again) when I was a kid! Helped me get through the war."

Flash: “Whaaaaaaaaat…? Dude that literally killed a man. How did you survive taking that multiple times as a child?”

Marvel: “It literally killed a man because nowadays people are weaklings. (Fawcitizens are built different. Literally) Back in my day, 62-year-olds to 22-year-olds to 12-year-olds would take this thing and then feel fine.”

Flash: “You sure?” *sounds skeptical*

Marvel: “Of course I’m sure! Granted, it would shut down your body for like two days, but then you’d feel perfect.”

Supes: “Shutting down your body for two days, doesn’t exactly sound healthy, Cap.” *sounds concerned*

Marvel: “Well, it like flushes out the toxins, right? Like after you’ve cleaned up all the piss that you soiled yourself with and ate a nice little meal you’d feel great!”

Supes: “I don’t like how you talk like this is nothing.”

Flash: “Well, he did say he was addicted… it’s was probably normal for him- Also, wait, you don’t know if it flushes out the toxins or not??”

Marvel: “Well, that’s what my doctor told me. It’s been a while since I’ve been to one.” *shrugs*

Supes: “Your doctor used to prescribe this?” *sounds slightly horrified*

Marvel: “Yeah?”

Flash: “To children?”

Marvel: “Yeah?”

Supes: “And elderly?”

Marvel: “Yeah?”

Supes: *trying to find words* “Okay.”

Later…

Marvel: “Come on try some.” *holds up a bit of the drug*

Flash: “Dude, I’m not trying that.”

Marvel: “Why? Trust me. You’ll feel better than ever once those two days are up.”

Flash: “Still no. Also why are you peer pressuring me?”

Marvel: “I’m not peer pressuring you.”

Batman: “Yes, you are.”

Flash: “Yeah, dude, you are. If Spooky says it, that means it’s true.”

Marvel: “Okay, okay, fine. I’ll stop telling you to try it.” *puts the drug down*

Even more later at the Watchtower…

GL, Flash, and Marvel: *all in the cafeteria, eating cereal, each wearing one of these things (you pick who’s wearing what)*

Flash: *pauses eating his apple jacks* “Dude, earlier, did you say that the drugs helped you through war?”

GL: *nearly chokes on his honey nut cheerios* “What?” *wasn’t there for the entire fiasco of having to confiscate the drugs*

Marvel: “Hmm? Oh, yeah.” *eats his captain crunch* Flash: “Is that you admitting you went to war?”

Marvel: “No, I didn’t. But everyone was kinda depressed back then so the drugs helped. I also worked in ammunition factories so I’ve seen a couple people get parts chopped off.”

GL: “Oh my God, I’m so sorry.” *sounds concerned*

Marvel: “Eh it’s fine. That’s what the drugs were for. That and all the diseases and problems you could get from inhaling the wrong things or standing too close to a machine.”

[rottingworship]

Beg and Bargain

The Proxies x F!Reader | Chapter Seven

[Masterlist]

Summary: Things are getting dicey, and only seem to get worse when you are sent out with the person that seems to like you the least.

Warnings: gun violence, mentions of suicide, mentions of sexual acts, blood, mentions of murder, not so healthy dynamics, non-sexual name calling, not beta read (of course, let me know if i happen to miss any <3)

Word Count: ~3.1k

A/N: I'M BACK AND LOVING BEG AND BARGAIN AGAIN. I do apologize for taking the break, but I feel better now. It was much needed. Things are getting exciting!!! No smut this chapter, but there may will be more soon 😈 divider credit to @sister-lucifer

You are sitting at the table; the last 24 hours have been awkward to say the least. Brian is tense, Toby seems ready to fucking murder you, and Tim is probably the happiest of the bunch. You had been able to do your own thing though. No one had really bothered you since Tim found you in the bathroom.

You are eating a frozen meal, supposedly it’s a Salisbury steak… You aren’t too sure though. But really? At this point you don’t care.

“D-Don’t you go back to w-work soon?” Toby sits in front of you.

Immediately, you tense. Your eyes widen momentarily, before you hide your fear. Toby seems to have caught it though. You snarl your lip up at him, and click your tongue, “What about it?” You grumble at him.

“W-well, what are you gonna do?” He is nosy. He seems curious, but not in a concerned way. More of a snotty kind of way.

Your eyes roll back and you groan, “Toby…” You inhale. “Don’t worry about it.”

“You sure a-are bratty.” Toby snarls back. “Tim needs to handle that.”

The most disgusting, guttural noise you can muster slips from your throat and a loud laugh follows. You shake your head. You may fear Toby, but you do not need to be put in any place. You almost fall backwards, out of your chair. It's so comical. “Tim?” You almost shout. “Shut the fu-”

Toby’s knuckles are suddenly white, nails digging into his palms. You do not finish your sentence. You swallow hard. “Say it.” Toby’s breath is shaky. “Fi-finish your fucking sentence.” His voice is dangerously low. You inhale sharply and shake your head ‘no’. “What were you g-going to say?” He is fuming. He obviously does not want to shut the fuck up. “Were you- Were you going to make me shut up?” He cocks his head at you.

“No.” Your head drops. Your eyes are cutting up at him through your lashes. You can’t help but be so scared. “But-” You exhale heavily, “I can do that.” It’s like you just remembered you can control him. But with consequences… Toby seems excited when you say this. “I won’t though.” Your voice is soft. “I’m not going to give you that satisfaction. Especially because you still haven’t returned my panties.” You finish your little frozen meal.

Toby looks like he wants to launch the table. “That w-wasn’t me!” He almost screams it at you, leaning across the table. You flinch back. “Why the fuck would I lie about it? I bet it was Brian!” The front door opens. Brian and Tim walk in. “What was Brian?” He cocks his head.

“You took her panties!” Toby is yelling now. You are startled. Brian and Tim seem used to it. “Sh-she thinks I took them, but- but it wasn’t m-me!” Toby is furious. He is standing up now. You feel so small sitting across from him.

“Fine!” You snap, “It wasn’t you! You didn’t fucking do it!” Your voice is strained.

Toby storms off, Tim stops him. His hand hits Toby’s chest and he pushes him back into the living room. The look in Toby’s eyes is absolutely feral. “This is my house! Do not-”

“Shut up.” Brian rolls his eyes. “We need to talk to her.” He points at you. “And ‘we’ includes you.”

Your stomach drops. Tim and Brian walk into the kitchen and sit down at the table. Toby stands a little ways away, in the living room. Fuming. “What’s going on?” You cock your head. Are they finally going to kill me? Am I still useful? You think to yourself. You are sure all color has drained from your face. You want to puke.

“You are supposed to go back to work soon-” Tim starts.

Toby interrupts. “I a-already asked ab-”

“I quit.” You interrupt Toby. Your eyes are on Tim, and Tim alone. You bite the inside of your lip. All of them seem confused. So much so that they all ask you ‘what’ in unison. Toby seems the most frustrated.

“Oh!” He throws his hands in the air. “I s-see! Tim is just s-so fucking good-”

“Toby!” You yell at him without thinking. “What the fuck?”

“I mean,” He scoffs, “yesterday y-you were in his room naked, and now y-you quit your job?” He shakes his head. “What the fu-fuck did you do to her?” Toby is looking at Tim now.

You swallow hard. Your eyes are stuck on Tim. Waiting for his answer. He seems smug. You are praying he doesn’t say something stupid. “Tim-” You whisper at him. “Don’t.” You do not want him to push Toby any further.

“Why’d you quit?” Toby looks back at you. His eyes are dark.

“I had to.” You are baffled. “I can’t work in these conditions!” You want to flail around. “Are you aware of my- our circumstances?”

“Very.” Toby’s voice is low, lethal, full of venom.

You don’t say anything else. You are sitting straight up in your seat, hair standing on end, and eyes wide with fear again. Toby leaves. He stomps to his room and slams his door. Your stomach turns.You let out a nervous laugh, “That guy, huh?” You give an awkward smile to Tim and Brian. “He sure is-” You swallow hard, “-something.”

“Oh, by the way,” Brian smirks at you, “you’re going out with him later.”

Tim immediately shoves his friend. Your stomach leaps into your throat. “What? When? Why?” You ask, full of fear and anger.

“Well, we don’t need you fucking around if you go out with Tim. And Toby’s good at these kinds of missions…”

“What kinds of missions…?” You cock your head.

“The killing kind.”

You are tired. Truly. Exhaustion is catching up to you quickly and you have no way to even rest right now. You have trekked through the woods towards your destination. And to be honest, that could be anywhere. You might as well be walking towards your death. You spot a cabin ahead and figure that's your stop. It's a bit bigger than Toby’s cabin and there is a singular light on. The upstairs light.

You look towards Toby, who is not stopping for anything. “Psst,” you stop walking. “Where are we?” You really have no clue.

Toby grunts and turns towards you. “Wh-who’s the bastard that wants you dead?” He sounds so… done with you. You should obviously know whose house you are at.

Your blood runs cold. “Ethan…?” You ask. You now know, but it still comes out like a question. Toby rolls his eyes and keeps walking towards the cabin. You are stuck briefly. Toby has a way to hide his identity. You do not. Your stomach turns. You quickly creep behind Toby and stay as close as possible to him; as much as you are not sure you want to do that. “How do we do this?” You whisper.

“Follow m-me.” It’s all Toby gives you.

He approaches the door, slowly. And then does the opposite of what you think he’s going to do. Toby’s foot slams into the old wood and the door flings open. Every single light on the bottom floor is off. Toby yanks you into the house and you cover your mouth, keeping in a yelp. It's impossible to see where Toby is moving, but you hear his footsteps; you try to stay close by. Toby grabs your arm and begins to guide you --albeit roughly-- up the steps. There is a light coming out from under a closed door.

Toby does not let you go. As you both near the door your anxiety is rising. You are growing antsy and, more importantly, terrified. Toby briefly releases you and slams into the door. It easily opens, almost falling off of its hinges. Toby steps into the room, you hot on his trail. The lights may be on, but the room is completely empty.

The chair in the corner of the room seems to have been sat in recently, someone is nearby. Ethan is nearby. You swallow hard and look at the back of Toby’s head, waiting for his next move. The hair on the back of your neck begins to stand on end. You begin to turn around and something slams into your head, hard. You stumble forward and slam into Toby, the both of you are sent flying to the ground. You let out a whimper and cry out for help. Cry out for Toby.

He is quick to get back on his feet. You, however, are stunned. You look up and find Toby standing between you and Ethan. His hatchets are now out and he is pissed. He snarls under his muzzle and swings at Ethan. The man dodges and trips Toby, easily moving around him and towards you. Toby hits the ground, his head slamming into the wood floor.

“Come on bitch,” Ethan hisses, “aren’t you gonna control me?”

Your face contorts. You shake your head violently. “I don’t know what you’re talking about!”

He pulls a gun off of his hip and brings it to your forehead. “Tell me, cunt, how did John die?” You are stuck. Memories of John the night you had him killed come flooding in. Tears prick your eyes and you hold back a sob. Your eyes are laser focused on Ethan, so much so, you don’t see Toby standing up behind him. “Did you mind control him? Did you force him to put that gun to his head?” Ethan’s voice is steadily rising. “Because I fucking know he did not do that on his own accord!” He screams, spit flying. Toby raises a hatchet. “Do not! I will fucking shoot her!” Ethan pushes the gun harder against your forehead. Toby freezes.

“Please,” You are begging. “I don’t know-” Your eyes screw shut. You shakily inhale and Toby tenses. He needs you to tell that man to back the fuck up. Your eyes open and you begin to speak. “Put your gun down.”

Ethan blinks at you. His hand twitches. Your stomach sinks. It did not work. Ethan laughs; he laughs so hard you are shaken up once more. Tears threaten to spill once again. It did not work. Why did it not work? It’s all you can think as you sit there, about to be fucking murdered. Your eyes shoot to Toby, who seems to be just as baffled.

“Oh,” Ethan smiles, a wickedness you have not seen before takes over him. “This is good. This is really fucking good.” He laughs again. He seems to be breaking. “I’ll handle you in a minute, I have to take care of your little boyfriend first… You sure did move on so quickly!” Ethan directs his attention to Toby, who is most definitely ready to fight. His movements are swift, the gun moving from your forehead to Toby’s direction in milliseconds.

Without thinking, you move and fast. “No!” You scream, pushing yourself up and slamming into Ethan. Your hand grabs his arm, moving the gun upwards. As it goes off, the bullet goes through the ceiling.

“You dumb fucking-” Ethan does not finish his sentence. He whips around as fast as possible, the gun slams into your face, and you fall back down. Your head hits the ground, again. As you are slipping in and out of consciousness, you feel a boot press to the side of your head. Before there is any more pressure placed onto your cheek, the boot is gone. You feel warmth covering your face, but that’s all you can process as you try to stay awake.

You let out a soft sigh and quickly let go. You don’t try anymore. You let yourself go into the darkness.

The sound of birds chirping brings you back to reality. With your eyes closed, you take in your surroundings. You are most definitely on the couch at Toby’s cabin. Your face aches and your head is pounding. You let out a cry and your eyes shut a little tighter. The floorboards creak a bit aways from the couch, footsteps near you.

“Careful.” A voice you do not recognize begins to speak. “You may have a concussion.”

Your eyes shoot open, and you sit up, a little too quickly. You are face to face with a woman. A woman you most definitely do not know. You look around the room, finding no one else, and then back at her. Her dark hair frames her face, her eyes look almost emotionless. Yet, she’s staring at you with an intensity you do not like.

“Who the fuck are you…?” You feel fear. She snorts. She really thinks this is so funny. “I’m not fucking joking, I will make you-”

“Not in this state, you won’t.” She deadpans. “Anyway,” Her head drops to the side, ever so slightly, “I don’t think you’d be okay with the consequences of compelling me right now…”

“Okay… Well, why the hell are you here?”

“This used to be where I slept, before you got here.”

Chills run up your spine. There’s more than just Toby, Brian, and Tim? “Sorry.” That is the only thing you manage to get out. A stupid apology. She rolls her eyes at you. You shift, pulling your legs up to your chest, and you hold on tightly. You can tell the woman finds that weak, you do not care. Not at the moment.

The door of the cabin opens. Brian and Tim walk into the room, some grocery bags in hand. Tim looks at you and the woman and he narrows his eyes. “Kate… I hope you’re being nice.”

“She’s being nice.” You nod at him. Nice enough… You give Tim a soft smile. “Can I ask what happened last night? Is Toby okay?”

Kate is the first to answer you. “After you were knocked unconscious, Toby brought you back here-”

“Is Ethan- Did he-”

“Don’t interrupt me.” Kate starts again. “Ethan is alive. If you had not been so reckless he may be dead now-”

“Reckless!?” You snap. “I couldn’t fucking compel him, and he was about to shoot Toby!”

“Do not interrupt me!” Kate snaps back. You immediately lean back, hitting the arm of the couch. “Toby picked saving your ass over killing Ethan. He let Ethan get away to make sure you were safe!” Kate stands up, hands falling from her hoodie pocket. You tense. Everyone is tense. You watch Kate in horror. “Things have shifted since you arrived.” Kate snarls, lowering herself to your level. “For some reason these men just adore you… If that had been me in that fucking house-”

“Wh-what would you have d-done?” Toby enters the room. Your eyes dart towards him.

Kate backs up from you and lets out a frustrated noise. She exits the house abruptly and you look at the men. You let out a nervous laugh and then sigh awkwardly. You look at Toby and mess with the hem of your shirt, placing your feet on the floor.

“Uh, thank you…” You mumble the words.

“What?” Toby cocks a brow at you.

You groan. “Thank you!”

“For what?” He wants you to explicitly tell him why you are thankful.

You want to combust. “For saving me.” You stand up. “You could have easily just- not saved me! But you did. I fucked up, being reckless, or whatever…” You roll your eyes. “But I'm alive at least.” You inhale sharply through your mouth, your nose hurting too badly to breathe through it, “I don’t know what’s really going on in that head of yours,” you narrow your eyes briefly, “or what your feelings are towards me; we all have a lot going on! If you want-” You pause momentarily, causing Toby to tense. “If you want, we can start a new, clean slate…” You wait for his answer. You feel like you are going to die when he just continues to stare. Your face contorts. “We don’t have to actually,” You cross your arms, “We can stay the exact same and I will hold everything you’ve ever done against you forever-”

Toby laughs. “I j-just saved your life, and all y-you’re offering is a clean s-slate?” He is acting as if it’s the most comical thing he’s ever heard.

“I don't owe you anything, actually! But I’m thankful.” You take a step closer to him, feeling a bit braver, knowing he saved your life makes you feel like he does not want to take it. “What do you think you deserve?”

Toby shakes his head. “You-You’ll revoke the cl-clean slate.”

You let out a laugh. “Okay, really, don’t tell me.” You put a hand up and nod.

“Do I get a clean slate?” Brian asks from behind you.

“N-no! You did-didn’t save her life. You just- just recorded her. Fu-fucking creep.” Toby is standing beside you suddenly.

You genuinely cannot tell if Toby is playing around or not. “Toby,” You gently place a hand on his arm, without thinking about it. Toby does not relax; in fact, he grows more tense. “I’m feeling generous. I mean, I did not die. That’s a plus! And, uh, you guys are kind of all I have right now, I don’t want there to be tension in the house…”

“Wow,” Toby smirks at you. He’s about to say something diabolical, “Me- Me saving your life and the h-head you got from Tim really has you f-feeling generous, huh?”

Your hand drops from Toby’s arm. You snap your head towards him and stare, mouth agape. You quickly look at Tim and narrow your eyes. “You fucking told him?”

Tim looks at Brian, mimicking your shock. “You fucking told him?”

Brian laughs, hard and loud. “I mean, yeah. We all kind of live together… It was bound to get out.” He has a point.

You are still upset though. “God, at this rate, Kate knows!” Toby nods at you. You stomp your foot in frustration. “I wish I had a room!” You want to hide.

“Just go to Tim’s.”

Your jaw clenches. “Shut up! I’m trying to start over with your three!” Your fists ball up. “You guys do not make anything easy…”

For a brief moment, it’s normal. As normal as it has been. The four of you are standing in the living room, not fighting, the guys are laughing. Maybe at your expense, but nothing is going wrong. And most importantly, you are alive.

You try to ignore the fact it will not be like this forever.

[cherry-pop-elf]

Weasley Siblings Helping You Lose Weight

AN: I suffer a binge eating disorder, inflected from my mother. I also suffer with medical issues and medication that genuinely have made things so difficult. My mom refuses to help, so sometimes you just gotta be your own cheerleader. Call me crazy, but imagining George Weasley supporting me is what keeps me going sometimes. Maybe this can helps others in my shoes to. It’s scary, and isolating, but hey. I’m your cheerleader to!

Warnings: Binge eating disorder, weight loss, sensitive topic matter with food, diet culture, it’s just a trigger warning of weight topics in general

William ‘Bill’

As the eldest sibling he’s had to try and be the best influence. He’s had to try and make sure his younger siblings ate and stayed health. Third parent syndrome. So he knows that this will be a journey, but one he’s happy to help with. Given his curse breaking job he often needs to keep himself in a very healthy mental space. So he would be more than happy to drag you in with yoga, tai chi, and simple mental work outs like that. It’s simple, but easy on the joints. A important part of weight loss is doing things that are enjoyable. Makes you want to do them more. His focus on mental health is very important, and often ignored when weight loss is involved. So this important step is going to make the journey so much easier. Slower? Maybe. But slower means it’ll STAY off easier. His focus on mental health is going to be a god send

Charlie

Since he works with dragons he knows how important it is to keep healthy. He’s constantly doing Manuel labor, and eats a pretty heavy diet of protein. This also means he’s going to be a great cheerleader to help you. Knowing all kinds of great work outs to help you, and finding useful tasks for you to do at the sanctuary. Not to mention he knows how to cook, and is more than happy to show you how as well. He is also a nice reminder that you can still be healthy will looking chubby. He’s made of heavy muscle. Muscle isn’t tense twenty four seven. That squishy is deadly. It’ll make losing weight a bit scary though. You’ll be developing muscle as you lose weight, so the number on the scale won’t really move. Don’t worry. Muscle burns a lot since you need a lot of calories to keep it. You are in safe hands. You need to trust the process. It takes time. You’ll do it! Charlie knows it!

Percy

He’s not a jock. He doesn’t work out like crazy. Especially not like his siblings. But he does know how to cook. Every Weasley does. Eating healthier and cleaner is exteremly important. Most of weight loss relies on being under a calorie number. That’s, unfortunately, the harder parts to. So Percy will be more than happy to do a bunch of reading on the topic. To do his best to figure out the best meals for the day. To help trade out snacks for healthier alternatives. It’ll also give him a good excuse to try and repair the bond with his family. Practicing and learning family recipes. That’s so nice

Fred & George

They run a joke shop full of candy, sweets, and pastries. Needless to say it’s a binge eaters worst nightmare. That’s going to cause so many trials and tribulation. The smells and scents, the new recipes, it’s just hell. They want to help so much, but they are shop owners. Not like they just take it all off the shelves. It’s truly going to be a test that you will fail, many times, but they will be there to pick up the pieces. They’ll be there for every crying session you have after you finish off so much that you feel inhuman. They’ll even use this as an excuse to try and invent new sweets that can be healthier. Children deserve to eat healthier too. Some kids are victims of obesity and need help. Diet culture makes them think they are bigger than they actually are. So to have healthier sweet alternatives helps everyone. Your struggles will be what help kids feel better. They’ll be more than happy to find alternatives to help. You won’t be treated as ‘different’ for needing to diet. You won’t feel like a burden because you need to eat different. Being a kid is being happy and whimsical. And by god they will help you make eating fun again! And help you through that toxic relationship with it!

Ron

He can be the one person that understands the relationship dynamic of food. Sure he has a high metabolism, and is constantly working out, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t know how eating can just make everything feel better. Food can feel good, but it can also feel so damn bad. He knows that feeling. He knows that pain. He knows that horrible dance. He gets it, and knows it’s not as easy as just ‘eating less’ as everyone says. It’s not that easy. He knows. He knows you are trying your damn best, and he’s going to remind you that you have made successful steps. That because you relapse doesn’t make you any less of a person. Everyone falls down. The fact you get up again is what matters. He gets it, and will help you. You two can do it. TOGETHER

Ginny

As the youngest she’s seen her siblings trial and tribulations. As the saying goes ‘the oldest does everything the youngest shouldn’t’ and learns not to do that. She also over all has more life experience than people give her credit for. She understands that you are struggling, and is more than happy to help. Have you train with her before her quidditch seasons, and just try and make things fun. Just like her siblings ya gotta make it fun. She’s got that high energy spirit that will help you stay active. Morning runs, yoga, dancing, she has an energetic lifestyle that will help you be more active. Even if you both stay home all day. Her energy is infectious, and it’ll help motivate you to move more. She’s got your back, and has so many health programs to let you use. She’s a professional quidditch player. Everyone needs a specific diet plan for their needs. Especially since everyone works a different part. A seeker needs a different diet compared to a beater. She’s gonna help you, and her quidditch team has your back all the same. You won’t face this alone

[simpfordemetri]

No need for perfection- Jane Volturi

⟳ & ♥︎

TW: Mentions of binge eating

Request by Anon: Hi! I've been lurking on here a while and love your work. The Volturi aren't loved enough, especially Jane. Can I request a one-shot of Jane? Preferably one where the reader is dealing with insecurity, so Jane tries to make her feel better. Sorry if it's been written before!

Being in a castle full of perfect people who resulted to be vampires wasn’t easy ,less when you are still humanly imperfect. Your skin wasn’t clean and porcelain looking , your lips were often chapped due to the hot of Volterra , your hair didn’t look perfect and most of the time it was messy and you often need to use your glasses which you don’t particularly like .

You were surrounded by perfection and angelical features ,god ,even their voices were flawless .Even if you look closely for details you didn’t find anything out of place.

And with that ,many insecurities appeared in your mind ,trying to look for solutions ,buying loads and loads of make-up or giving a chance to try and use eyes contacts so you didn’t have to wear your glasses.

Your actions seemed unnoticeable, for you at least ,because Jane;your mate, could tell everything that was going on .She knows you like she knows the palms of her hands ,she always know what’s happening just by hearing you breath. However ,she didn’t say anything, not yet.

But everything became too much when you started to skip meals ,but then you couldn’t contain your hunger and ate an unhealthy amount of food until you were physically sick . Food wrappers were founded everywhere in the room ,your intents of hiding them useless . And Jane was finally loosing her mind as she was watching you fall into a rabit hole more and more everyday .And the worst part ,she doesn’t know how to help or what was happening .

Research was done by her ,even using the help of her biggest fear ,technology, she read a bunch of articles finding about Binge eating and the consequences of it .Her stomach sunken at the sudden feeling of how bad you might feel .Eating until your stomach can’t take more and then dealing with the pain ,the distress and sleeping out until you feel a bit better.

Jane wasn’t the best helping or calming down someone ,it wasn’t her forte. She is used to deal with feeling by shutting down and throwing a tantrum .But you weren’t like that and humans emotion were pretty different in her opinion.

Preparing herself and thinking about what she is going to say and being careful about her words ,she finally knock on the door of your shared room ,waiting for you to invite her inside.

Sitting on the bed next to you and grabbing your hand in her ,interlocking each other fingers while her gaze meets yours directly. She sighed trying to find the words to start the awkward but necessary conversation.

-I…I might have noticed what you are doing to yourself ,Y/N- Her angelical voice sounded like a whisper ,however you were able to listen to each word she said .

You didn’t talk, your eyes giving a confused look encouraging her to explain herself.

-Your recents eating habits aren’t healthy ,you are hurting yourself and I know looking for a solution right away might be difficult, so for now I just want to understand what is going on in that beautiful mind of yours ,Cara Mia-

You stayed silent for a few minutes ,secretly mad at yourself for letting your beautiful mate noticed and worrying her ,and also trying to find the answer to her question .

-I…I really don’t know how to answer you Jane. I suppose i have been feeling a bit bad lately, being surrounded by perfection and ethereal looks ,and then there is me , a simple human walking through this big castle being completely lost on what is going on .Things have go put of control I’m not going to lie .I’m so sorry-Your voice cracked in your last words ,looking sorry at her as your eyes were covered by tears.

-My beautiful love, you are the only thing I need and completely perfect by my eyes .However ,little human, perfection is subjective ,I don’t like perfection as anyone is complete perfect even if they think so .You have no need of hurting yourself like that as a form of punishment .And by that darling ,you are MY simple human. -Her lips turned into a soft smile as she grabbed your face pulling you close to her .

A very gentle and soft kiss was planted on your lips ,her hands caressing your cheeks as she falls on top of you laying both of you in bed ,decided to show you how precious you are .

[deathmetalunicorn1]

Eri Reader x Straw Hats Christmas Special- Eri and the Nutcracker

I had someone request this and I thought this would work perfectly with Eri Reader! I hope you all enjoy and I'll post the next actual part of Eri Reader tomorrow! Merry Christmas!

-Your smile was so bright as Robin finished telling you the story of the Nutcracker, in celebration of Christmas tomorrow! You had never celebrated Christmas and the crew wanted to make it extra special for you!

-You help Sanji in the kitchen making some cookies as he told you all about the yummy meal you were going to get tomorrow.

-Luffy and Usopp told you all about Santa, which did lead to some laughter after you asked Chopper if he was one of Santa’s reindeer.

-Franky stole you away to show you some surprises he was working on, new upgrades for the ship, which was actually just to distract you while the others set up a Christmas tree to surprise you with.

-Brook played you beautiful Christmas music which Nami danced with you to, waltzing with you while you squealed with delight before you got to meet Santa, who was actually Zoro in disguise.

-They couldn’t stand how cute you were, being shy, hiding behind Luffy’s leg, waving at Santa as he was holding out a present towards you.

-It wound up being the Nutcracker book, something to surprise you with before Christmas day and when Robin put you to bed, she read you the story.

-You knocked out shortly after she finished, which was good as it gave everyone time to set up for the party tomorrow.

-You opened your eyes, now dreaming, and found yourself in a magical world, surrounded by a land made up entirely of sweets, everything was candy- the roads, the trees and flowers, it was amazing!

-You then heard, “Y/N!!” you turned, hearing Luffy and you froze, seeing him running up to you, dressed like the Nutcracker in the book and he beamed at you, “I found you! Now let’s get going- I’m going to be King of the Nutcrackers!”

-You weren’t sure what was going on, but this was so much fun, as you got to eat some of the trees, after Luffy told you that it was okay.

-You then heard three voices yelling out, “Hey you idiot!” and you were stunned to see Nami and Sanji, both dressed up like fairies, in pink and white outfits with large glittery wings, Nami in a dress and Sanji in a suit, before you saw Chopper, wearing a whole Santa outfit, looking like Santa, just with some bells, like one of Santa’s reindeer.

-Sanji and Nami were yelling at Luffy, after beating him black and blue, telling him that you can’t just have sweets, that’s its not healthy for you before turning to you, “Are you Sugar Plum fairies?” they both posed, looking dramatic as Sanji spoke, “We are- but we also encourage healthy eating habits- especially in ones so young!”

-Nami and Chopper danced around with you as Sanji whipped up a massive feast of fruit, veggies, and meat, so you would have a balanced diet.

-When you and Luffy finished eating and got ready to leave, the three said they were coming with you, as they were going to celebrate Luffy becoming King of the Nutcrackers!

-As you reached an area where everything was made of toys, your eyes were sparkly before you saw Franky, “Yo!! It’s my SUPER niece!!” it was your uncle, ‘Franky-meyer’, who made the Nutcracker Luffy for you and you squealed as he spun you around, showing you all the new toys he had made before he decided to come with you on the journey to the kingdom of the Nutcrackers.

-You met Robin and Usopp next, who were both snow fairies, Usopp was throwing snowballs at the others while Robin picked you up, dancing with you, “You look like a princess mama!” she just smiled, twirling around, “You are close- I’m the Snow Fairy Queen~” your eyes were sparkly before you laughed, seeing everyone getting into a snowball fight.

-When you reached the castle where Luffy would become king, you were scared, seeing a bunch of mice, including the Mouse King, who looked like Crocodile, wearing a long red cape with a crown on his head, saying that this kingdom was his!

-Luffy tried to fight him and his minions, who looked like chibi Crocodiles in miniature long red capes, but he was blown back, he needed backup!

-Two more soldiers then stepped forward, Brook and Zoro, who had been locked in the tower, after King Crocodile invaded the kingdom, and Brook spoke, “Allow us to help you!”

-Soldier Zoro easily took care of the underlings, using three large candy canes instead of swords, before Brook charged forward with his own giant candy cane and hit King Crocodile back, weakening him.

-Luffy beat him, and you saw all the citizens of this world, from the candy area, the toy area, the snow area, and the kingdom all come out and celebrate, watching Luffy being crowned King.

-Luffy held you up in his arms, “It’s all thanks to Y/N!” and everyone was quickly chanting your name, making you smile.

-You stirred, hearing Luffy and Chopper calling your name, much like how they were chanting in your dream, as they woke you up, both wearing Santa hats, “Santa came- Santa came!” your eyes went huge and you headed to the galley with them, finding a huge feast, one that looked even better than the one Sanji had made for you in your dream, as well as a bunch of presents under the tree for everyone.

-Robin put a Santa hat on your own head, one that was a little too large for your head, but you were all smiles as Usopp held you on his lap as you got to try all of the special Christmas foods.

-Once you were finished eating, everyone unwrapped their presents from Santa, getting exactly what they wanted, Luffy got a gift wrapped meat on a stick, Zoro got a sword cleaning kit, Usopp got a new scope, Nami got a bag of money, Sanji got new cooking knives, Brook got a violin repair kit, Franky got some new and durable tools, Chopper got a new doctor’s bag and some candy, and Robin got some new books, and you got more picture books, ones that you could have the others read to you.

-The day was spent having fun with your family, eating nummy food, and just enjoying your first Christmas together.

[elbarkla]

Check it out everyone, 3 years of art progress! And I wrote a guide for beginners! 😊

Hi! I’m Laura, age 31. I’ve always drawn occasionally, but never really stuck with it. Frankly it stressed me out. I’d draw for a month, then cry a bunch, then quit for a couple more years. But this time I turned it into a habit somehow. I’ve been drawing near-daily since Feb ‘21 and my life is better for it. Art’s a huge part of me now; it affects how I spend my time, how I express myself, and how I see the world. I feel like a happier, more complete human being.

So here’s what worked for me. This is a guide for hobbyists (I don’t have commercial ambitions) and it may or may not work for you. But I hope you can learn something from it regardless. Without further ado, my thesis:

 ~ Laura’s Steps for Drawing A Lot and Hopefully Getting Better ~

 1 – Manage Your Health 

Know what’s bad for your art? Depression! Glad I got around to treating mine. But for real, if you lack self-confidence you might want to check your mental health. It isn’t the sole factor but it can rapidly overtake the others. Every day I see a post like “how do I improve, every time I try to draw I’m overwhelmed with thoughts I’m bad at everything and a burden to the people around me”. That’s relatable but not a healthy way to see yourself. Low self-esteem can be treated. Please consider talking to someone - you’re a wonderful, lovable person and deserve a happy life.

Also, try to get plenty of sleep and eat regular meals; it helps with everything. Exercise is worth a shot too. Going for walks is good for your mind and body. Yes it’s boring, but boredom gives you space to imagine things.

 #2 – Make It Fun

You’re taking this too seriously. Yes, you. It’s just a hobby. Take the pressure off. Have fun.

What does that mean? It means you need to make art approachable. It has to be a comfort hobby you’re naturally drawn to. That means killing all thoughts of what you SHOULD do. If it makes you want to draw, go for it. Anime characters? Pretty ladies? Fanart? Furries? Doodles from imagination? Zentangles? Pencils? Digital? Do it. If drawing the “right way” burns you out, draw things the wrong way instead. You know who draws a lot? Children. You know who doesn’t draw super well? Children. Have that mindset. Draw like a child. Don’t compare yourself to others; just enjoy the process of creating something. You had that ability once and I know you can reacquire it.

 Intimidated by an empty sketchbook? Don’t wanna ruin a white page? That’s OK; find something you don’t mind ruining. Grab a half-used notebook and a ballpoint pen. You EXPECT those to look horrendous. If you can have fun filling that notebook, you can have fun drawing regularly, and if you draw regularly you can slowly improve your art. It happened to me. I went from rarely drawing to wanting to do it every day. I still sketch in ballpoint now; it’s fun and comfortable.

Also, if drawing’s NOT fun? That’s OK too! There’s loads of ways to express creativity; go do do one of those. For me it was The Sims 3, then knitting, then drawing. Find something accessible and build your confidence up. The world needs bonsai trees and Minecraft castles just as much as drawings. <3

#3 – Seek Instruction

You’ve made drawing a habit, congratulations! You’ve probably learned heaps already; it’s natural to work out techniques as you go. But deducing art wisdom from scratch isn’t super efficient. There’s no need to reinvent the wheel when you can learn so much from others.

You can do a paid course (great way to meet people), but you don’t have to. All the information’s free on the internet! Teachers will cover the same things in different ways or from different perspectives. There’s no exclusive knowledge; the more you study, the more overlap you’ll notice. It all comes together for a more complete understanding of fundamental concepts.

Here’s some of my favourite resources (currently all available free online)(except the Winslow one which was taken down, boo):

  r/artfundamentals, ie. drawabox.com . A great starter course on how to hold a pen, draw lines, build forms and so on. You can follow structured lessons or just practice whatever you need to.

How to Draw: Drawing and Sketching Objects and Environments from Your Imagination, by Scott Robertson. This book’s the gold standard on perspective and great for technical thinkers. It gets VERY advanced but there’s basic stuff to learn from as well. If the textbook intimidates you, try this excellent video playlist by Dan Beardshaw. He walks you through the same concepts in a simple approachable manner. Vital information if you want your work to look 3D.

anything by Andrew Loomis. He’s an icon for a reason; the Loomis head is a standard art tool to this day. I also enjoy the anachronistic career advice (“all advertisers will pay for a well-drawn head” or whatever it was). Here’s the ones I’ve read and enjoyed:

Fun with a Pencil

Figure Drawing for All It’s Worth

Drawing The Head and Hands

Creative Illustration (my current fave, great for composition)

Classic Human Anatomy in Motion, by Valerie L. Winslow. Hot take – people who say “learn anatomy” to beginners are idiots. SO MANY fundamentals come before anatomy if you wanna draw good-looking characters. You’ll get better results studying proportion, form, gesture, shapes and composition first. But if/when you want to learn bones and muscles, this is the book for you! It’s probably overkill, but I loved the breakdown of facial muscles and how they create expression. Top-tier reaction image material.

Proko!! Fabulous Youtube channel. Not only is Stan a great teacher, he invites on other artists too. Just go to his search bar and plug in a keyword; you’ll always find something helpful. I recommend his channel if you want to draw humans (loads of gesture, forms, proportion, anatomy etc.), but there’s a video or two on everything. Some of my other favourite videos:

Mind-Blowing Realistic Shading Tricks. Simple effective intro to light and shadow, I still go back and learn from it.

How to Draw Dynamic Shapes – FORCE Series Part 3. So compelling I bought the book afterwards. Blew my mind, instantly improved all my shapes and in turn my composition and gesture.

Painting Skin Tones and How Light Affects Color. Marco Bucci’s a genius with colours, he explains value and saturation in such fascinating ways.

Digital Shape Carving with Scott Flanders – good companion to the shading video above, teaches dramatic silhouettes and cel-shading within a really interesting workflow.

Google. Any question. Throw it in. Someone’s made a video or reddit post about it. You’d be surprised! I swear, the number of times I’ve typed “composition tips” or “digital watercolour clip studio paint” or “how draw horse head”.

Remember, take it easy. Don’t burn yourself out. Back off if you feel the tears creeping in. Study should supplement your drawings, not replace them. If in doubt, revert to step 2 – “bad” art is better than no art.

4– Study Life

If you did step 3 you’re way ahead of me on this one. USE REFERENCES. Draw things from photos (or real life if possible). Fill your brain with visual information. Here’s a thread I made for sharing references of humans.

What if you prefer to draw from imagination? That’s fine – try a hybrid approach. Doodle whatever comes to you, then look up references and try again. For example I’ll doodle a bear, then draw from photos of bears, then doodle new bears using the things I learned. It’s fun and also a good way to test your knowledge. You may also enjoy combining different references; eg drawing animal fusions, combining poses with an outfits etc. It gets easier to do the more you practice.

Between art pieces I keep a balance between drawing from imagination, drawing from reference, following art lessons, and studying other artists. Speaking of which –

5 – Study Art

Ever heard “Don’t draw anime until you’ve learned anatomy?” or “Learn the rules before you break them?” I strongly disagree with both of those statements. Fundamentals are great but there’s never a point you stop learning them, and studying life won’t teach you how to stylise. That’s why you also need to learn from your favourite artworks. This gets easier/more efficient as you build your broader art skills, but you can learn styles at any point of your art journey (see – step 2). In fact, it makes study more enjoyable, since stylised art can look better and feel more “you”. You already know what you want to create– why not start now?

Let’s take anime as an example. That’s a huge genre with loads of variation. So, what’s your personal taste? Round and cute, or sharp and serious? Choose your favourite shows and study how they do it. Observe their lines, shapes and proportions. Then try it yourself. Make fanart. Not only is replication good art practice in general, it’ll teach you a bunch of new tricks. For original work, pull from loads of sources, the more diverse the better. Work in your love for Silver Age comics or medieval tapestries or German expressionism. The more places you learn from, the more unique and personal your style will be. Your art becomes a visual scrapbook of all the artists you love. I think that’s beautiful. <3

 6 – Find Community

Art friends! Best thing ever. You can bond over your shared obsession, commiserate over tough parts, and learn about art together. A lot of my drawings are in-jokes exchanged with my BFF. I’ve known them from childhood (lucky) but apparently adults can make friends too. Fandom spaces are great for this; many Discord channels have a dedicated artists’ zone. You can also try r/sketchdaily or challenges like Mermay/Inktober if you want a sense of community.

If you don’t have art friends (yet), that’s OK; parasocial works too! I like watching “Draw With Me” content on Youtube. It’s great to put on while you’re creating, especially when you don’t have the energy for something educational. Not only is it inspiring, you can learn tips and tricks along the way. And of course, you can never go wrong with Bob Ross.

 7 – Be Interesting

The very first step was to manage your health. In a way, we’ve looped back to the beginning.  Because no matter what you do, art begins and ends with who you are. You can practice fundamentals 12 hours a day but if you never live your life, you’ll never make interesting art. No one cares for artists whose only character trait is how hard they grind. So go be the most vibrant version of yourself. Take up weird hobbies. Make weird friends. Seek new experiences. Question the beliefs you grew up with. Read books for a while instead of drawing. Develop your principles. Embrace what makes you different. Survive the worst year of your life somehow. Learn what makes you thrive. Your art won’t be for everyone. But it WILL mean the world to some. And to me, that’s the whole point of doing this. Good luck, fellow artist. The world is your adventure yet to come. I believe in you. <3

[gunilslaugh]

hello!! can you please do hcs of jiseok or junhan with a bigger reader? any genre is okay rlly <33 thank you!!(i love your work!)

Thank you for loving my work. I already have a Hyeongjun with a bigger reader work done. I'll link it here :)

Kwak Jiseok

Summary: What yours and Jiseok’s relationship is like with you being a bigger person.

WC:566

Warning:none

photo not mine credits to owner.

Jiseok is so supportive of you. He will always compliment the clothes that you wear. Even if you’re only wearing a t-shirt and sweatpants.

“Y/n you look so good,” Jiseok compliments you while his eyes scan over your appearance. 

“Thank you, but this outfit is definitely more on the grunge side,” you say. 

“And you still look amazing.” He hugs you. 

He likes being the smaller spoon, he won’t admit it though. He feels safe and content with your arm wrapped around his waist. His back up against your front. Bonus if you throw one of your legs over his. He loves the feeling of the weight of your leg resting on him. If he is not being the little spoon his hands will without fail find their way to your waist/stomach. Jiseok likes resting his hands there. Sometimes letting his finger trace patterns on your skin or giving it a pinch when he’s feeling mischievous (happens at least once every time you cuddle).

Jiseok steals your sweatpants and sometimes your hoodies. He will randomly send you pictures of him clad in your comfy clothes. You find it cute and save the photos to your phone. It still weirds you out a bit that he steals your sweatpants though.

“Jiseok I think it’s cute that you steal my clothes, but my sweatpants don’t even fit you properly,” you laughed pointing out the clearly too big of pants he’s wearing. 

“Aye they have a drawstring, so it’s fine,” he defended, pulling up your hoodie that he is always wearing to show the tightly drawn drawstring. Truthfully Jiseok finds a sense of comfort in wearing your clothes, they make him feel secure. May or may not sleep in your clothes when the two of you are far apart. 

Jiseok never wants you to feel insecure about your bigger frame. It’s partly why he always compliments your outfits even if there really isn’t anything special about them. He wants you to feel loved. He also wants you to know that you’re more than your weight too. If people ever shame you for your weight he will quickly shut down their negative comments. 

“Don’t listen to them y/n. You’re happy and healthy, that's all that matters. Plus having some bonus weight on you makes you harder to kidnap,” he added comically to make you smile. His heart fills with warmth when it works. If you ever personally feel bad or insecure over your weight he’s there to reassure you. 

“There is nothing wrong with your weight y/n. Plus you are worth so much more than your weight. You’re amazing and I’m so lucky to be your boyfriend. I love you.” He gives you a back hug and moves his hands to caress over your curves that he loves so much. 

Jiseok loves snacking with you. Whether it’s while watching movies/shows, simply munching before a meal or at midnight. He would buy a bunch of different snacks to try them with you. Likes having what he refers to as snack dates, which is where you both go to the convenient store and pick out snacks then return home or wherever else to eat them. 

Jiseok loves every bit of you and will make sure that you feel his love throughout your relationship even if it comes in the form of lighthearted mischievousness from time to time.

[everydayhealthwisdom]

Willpower Won’t Last, but Habits Will: How to Use Your Limited Willpower to Create Lasting Change

Disclaimer: I am not a nutrition expert or health professional. I have no formal training in these fields; my insights are based solely on personal life experience. I use AI tools to assist me, sometimes a little, sometimes a lot, mainly because I’m a bit lazy. However, all thoughts, ideas, and concepts shared here are entirely my own.

You've probably been here before: you decide to eat better and move more. You're motivated, maybe even excited, and you hit the ground running. You make a plan, hit the gym, swap the pizza for salads, and for a while, it all seems to be working.

But give it a few days, maybe a week or two, and that initial drive fades. You’re tired, stressed, or just not feeling it anymore. Suddenly, that salad looks less appealing than a burger, and skipping the gym feels easier than going. You start sliding back into old habits, and before you know it, you're back where you started.

If you’re nodding along to this, you’re not alone. This is the problem with relying solely on willpower. It gets you going, but it’s not enough to keep you moving long-term. That's where mindful regulation comes in. The trick isn’t to rely on willpower forever. Instead, use that fleeting motivation to build habits that last—so when willpower runs dry, your habits carry the load.

Willpower: The Short-Term Boost

Let’s be real. Willpower is like your morning coffee—it gives you a boost, gets you moving, but it’s temporary. You can only rely on it for so long before it wears off. Think of it like a battery that drains as the day goes on. Once it’s drained, you’re back to old routines—the ones you were trying to ditch.

Take Sam (a fictional character, but I promise you know someone just like him). Sam’s always trying to get in shape, and every January, like clockwork, he signs up for the gym. He buys a bunch of veggies, swears off sugar, and kicks things off like a pro. For a week, he’s meal-prepping, getting in his workouts, saying no to dessert.

But by week two, things change. The salad gets boring, the workouts feel harder, and by the third week, Sam’s back to grabbing takeout on his way home from work. His willpower has run out, and because he didn’t build any habits to rely on, he slips right back into his old ways.

Sound familiar? That’s why willpower alone won’t work. Sure, it’ll help you start a new routine, but it’s not a long-term solution.

How to Use Willpower to Build Habits

So what’s the answer? The key is to use that short burst of willpower more strategically. Instead of throwing all your energy into changing everything at once, focus on building a few small, sustainable habits. Habits don’t require as much mental energy to maintain, and once they’re set, you can rely on them even when your motivation is running low.

Here’s what you can do:

1. Pick 1-2 good habits to build and 1-2 bad habits to change.

Don’t go overboard. Trying to change everything at once is a guaranteed way to burn out. Instead, start small. Choose one or two habits that feel manageable—something you can realistically keep up, even on tough days. At the same time, pick a bad habit to focus on dropping, but again, keep it simple.

2. Make it realistic.

You know yourself better than anyone. If running five days a week is not your thing, don’t force it. Maybe a 30-minute walk after dinner is more your speed. Or if meal prepping every night sounds overwhelming, try just packing a healthy lunch for work instead. It’s better to build a habit that you know you can keep up, rather than setting yourself up to fail.

3. Set yourself up for success.

Don’t rely on willpower alone to get you through the day. Make things easier for yourself. If mornings are rushed, prepare breakfast the night before. Keep healthy snacks around so you’re not reaching for chips when hunger hits. Little steps like this make sticking to your habits feel effortless.

4. Start slow and build.

Don’t cut out every unhealthy food at once. Start by switching out one meal a day. Maybe instead of sugary cereal, you switch to oatmeal with blueberries and a bit of maple syrup or stevia. Or swap your afternoon soda for sparkling water. These small changes make a big difference over time, and once they become habits, you can add more.

5. Make habits automatic.

The goal is to get your habits on autopilot. You don’t think about brushing your teeth—you just do it. That’s what you want for your new habits. For example, take a walk after dinner every night, or prepare your lunch as soon as you get home. Once these routines are automatic, you’ll keep doing them without needing much thought or willpower at all.

Simple, Sustainable Habit Ideas

Here are some manageable ideas to help you get started:

For Movement:

Take a 30-minute walk every other day.

Stretch for 10 minutes before bed.

Use the stairs at work instead of the elevator.

For Eating:

Plan one meal a day to be completely free of processed foods.

Replace your sugary snacks with healthier options, like nuts or fruit.

Drink a glass of water before every meal.

For Planning:

Pack your lunch the night before so you’re not scrambling in the morning.

Track your meals with a calorie-counting app, if that helps you stay on course.

Plan your meals at the start of the week to avoid last-minute decisions.

When Willpower Fades, Lean on Your Habits

The real power of this approach is that you’re setting yourself up for long-term success. When willpower fades (and it will), you’ll have habits to lean on. You won’t need to muster the energy to make healthy decisions—you’ll just do them because that’s what you’ve trained yourself to do.

So don’t get discouraged when the initial excitement burns out. Use that time wisely, and let it be the start of something bigger. Build those habits now, so that when motivation dips, your new routines can carry you through.

No one changes their life overnight. But small, intentional changes? Those add up over time. And that’s how you make willpower work for you���not just for today, but for the long haul.

[awaitingfall]

07.11.24

134.4

I felt drawn to post on here again and funnily enough it’s almost a year exactly from the last time I posted.

Since then I ended up going back to my old job and that’s helped me be a lot more physical than I was previously since I’m working in 90+ degree temps and on my feet for 9 hours every day, rather than sitting in a freezing cold, brightly lit lab all day with barely any movement at all. It was so cold in there that it actually got uncomfortable and I was constantly shivering. I never thought I’d prefer working in the complete opposite environment, but I think it’s healthier for the body to be warmer than freezing cold all day.

I’ve started intermittent fasting again recently. Eating 8 hours, fasting 16. So breakfast is usually around 7:30 and then I eat my final meal at work around 3:30. And if I have energy when I get home around 6:30 I’ll do a quick workout, otherwise I save the exercise for the Friday and the weekend when I have off.

I’ve also been eating cleaner - gotten back to my Greek yogurt for lunch and dinner, but this time I put raw honey in it as well as some trail mix (I buy one that just has a bunch of plain nuts, seeds, raisins and goji berries). And my breakfast is heartier to give me enough energy for at least the first half of the day - so I’ll have some variation of eggs and toast. It’s usually 2 slices of sourdough toast, 2 eggs over medium, salt, pepper, garlic powder, feta cheese, and more recently I’ve tried slicing up some avocado on top for some healthy fats and it’s been delicious (I thought I was allergic to avocado for the longest time, but turns out I had just eaten a bad one one time and it gave me stomach pains). I’ll also have a side of kimchi with that for my tummy cuz I’ve been experiencing really bad randomly occurring stomach problems since the last time I posted 🥺

And finally, within this past week, I’ve been listening to a podcast on Buddhism (as a way of life, not religion), and it has helped me see things so differently in the best way possible and I feel like I’m a lot calmer and have been reacting to things with less negative emotion. I was getting myself so stressed out, not just about things in my life, but even things in other peoples lives that had nothing to do with me. And stress will 10000000% prevent you from losing weight. Plus I’ve been getting a lot more anxious again because I was focusing my attention on everyone else’s problems. So I’m finding that a little meditation and focus no myself and what truly matters is helping me a lot physically and mentally so far.

So that’s what’s been going on - now to set my goal!

In a perfect world, I’d LOVE to be 115 by my birthday. That’s prime Fall time baby! But realistically, if I want to lose weight in a healthy way, I’d at least like to be around 125 by then. I’ve already lost 5lbs in a month, but I have to factor in the plateau that’ll most likely happen at some point and also factor in the birthdays and celebrations that I won’t be following a fasting schedule for, because I don’t need to be so strict on myself - I’d also like to enjoy life while celebrating with others and won’t put myself down for doing so.

I’d also like to be healthier by then because I’m 99.9% sure my boyfriend it going to propose to me around that time and I want to be able to feel good physically and mentally to enjoy that experience rather than be feeling sluggish and moody like I have been after not being health conscious.

(I’m also going to rename this account because I don’t want it to be seen as an e d account, I’d like it to be a health conscious account since I’ve grown out of those old habits, thankfully)

[zuuriell]

i felt like doing something so imma do this for the month! i’ll put all my answers below the cut because it’ll probably get quite long lol

1. Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (aka POTS)

2. well, it’s pretty complicated 😭 i’ve had some symptoms for probably like a year, but around late april/early may this year i couldn’t even shower or stand up too long from how bad it got. the uk healthcare system is absolute shit though, so even tho i’ve been a&e multiple times and tried to explain how much it’s all been affecting me, i still don’t get to see a cardiologist until february 2024 :( but we’ve ruled out other options of what it could be, and my mum’s cardiologist friend agreed when i said i thought i had POTS, and my GP agrees, and my potsie friends agree so i’m kinda like unofficially diagnosed as of now?

3. relating to the last point, i am not officially diagnosed yet because of the slow asf NHS so yeah :,) but i mean to figure out what i was experiencing was POTS, it did take me like 8 months? but probably around 10 for me to accept the fact that i most likely have it too 😭 an official diagnosis unless i can rack up the money to go private is probably gonna take me like another year at this rate, but hopefully it won’t be that long

4. i have to pick just one? LOL uhh probably the blood pooling! it’s so annoying because especially when im out and about, i can’t be with my legs in the air 24/7 so it’s always bound to happen. compression socks help but only to an extent, and it stops me from doing so muchhhh :( it means that queueing for things and standing for more than a couple minutes is so so much harder, and if i have too much blood pooling in one day then my can legs ache for DAYS after that. it’s so painful and annoying and just aaghhh i hate it

5. on a regular day: i wake up, chug water which i leave by my bed for the mornings, get out of bed slowly and walk downstairs to make breakfast. i chug electrolytes and go for a short dog walk, then come home to do schoolwork and my family make lunch/dinner so i don’t have to stand around too long. i’ll make sure i get any chores done that i can, and i’ll try to chill in the evening

on a bad day/flareup: i wake up a lot later, have my electrolytes with water and only get out of bed when i need to. i’ll do schoolwork from my bed (if i feel well enough to concentrate), and have salty snacks rather than proper meals, unless my family make me anything. i stretch from bed to combat deconditioning, and if i feel decent enough i can have a bath

6. i don’t have access to any specific medication unfortunately, so i currently just manage with painkillers when my chronic pain is extra bitchy + anti-nausea meds when i feel sicky

7. salt sachets (the little ones you get at like mcdonald’s and stuff) to shove in my purse/pocket in case symptoms flare while i’m out, compression garments, electrolyte tablets, and a recliner bed so i can raise my legs more when resting

8. electrolyte drinks!! not the tablets though (i hate the taste of all the tablets except like 1 lol) - my fav is making electrolyte drinks from scratch! at the moment i really love iced lemon water with honey and salt. i also saw smth about this fancy coconut water drink to make so i may try that and it may become my favourite :0

9. salty crackers, salt and vinegar/ready salted crisps, mcdonalds fries (stfu i know these aren’t healthy but they’re my favs 😭), pretzels, nuts

+ my fav foods to dump a bunch of salt on: pasta, veggies and dips (SALTED CUCUMBER IS SO GOOD), pizza, chips, soup, risotto, probs almost anything i eat tbh

10. i’ve only got one pair but i love them so shoutout to my knee-length black compression socks <3

11. i don’t have any 🥲 i really wish i could have a cane or maybe even a rollator but my family make fun of me and i can’t afford one lolsies

12. i try to do some stretching in bed so that i can safely work against deconditioning, keeping very hydrated, trying to stay upstairs as much as possible so i don’t have to suffer my staircase, asking family to make food for me so i can save energy, taking pain meds when needed, having a cold bath (if possible), trying to keep preoccupied with work if i can, but if not i’ll watch movies on my ipad and stuff

fun fact: i wrote this on a flare LOL so oddly fitting and now i’ve already made myself a plan for the next few days!

13. the thing that’s helped me most is accepting that something is wrong and remembering to listen to my body. going through life pretending that i’m perfectly abled and don’t have anything wrong causes much more harm to me than letting myself rest a few days. it definitely isn’t easy though - i still find myself getting stressed over work deadlines don’t get me wrong, but i’d like to think i’m getting better at adapting to things and noticing when a flare is coming on so i can be prepared to take the time for my body to rest.

14. chairs are your best friends now. i steal the chairs/stools from the kitchen table whenever i’m doing chores standing up for more than 30 seconds. compression socks also help! OOH and if you’re using hot water/heated stuff and struggle with temperature dysreg, i usually grab myself a cup of ice to munch on or an icepack to hold on my chest so that i don’t overheat :)

15. i’m afraid i don’t have much input for this as i left school for health reasons 😭 but i suppose keeping hydrated, getting accommodations such as not too many stairs + being allowed to take more days off to rest for flares, compression gear where possible, staying high on sodium + electrolytes, and extended deadlines would be good!

16. i’m gonna sound so silly for this but i love rewatching my comfort stuff. i’ve got my fav youtubers + fav films/series all compiled in a list, and i spin a wheel to decide which one i’m gonna watch! other activities i enjoy though are reading, playing video games, doing goofy quizzes online, chatting with friends, and going on pinterest sprees!

17. leading on from the last prompt, my fav is a marvel movie - tbh all of them bring me so much comfort but my favs are avengers, black widow, loki and any of the thor films <3

18. my main support system is my wonderful boyfriend, kurtis @agere-tomhiddleston-imagines 💚💛 he’s helped me through so much and he’s so supportive of me no matter what, and i love him dearly for that (and how awesome he is in general ofc) <3 other than that, my parents are semi-supportive! they still get things wrong sometimes but overall they’ll help if i need things and they handle all the shitty healthcare workers for me so i truly appreciate them for that 😭🙏 ooh and definitely just the general online community of chronically ill people/potsies!! i love y’all so much 🫶

19. okay i don’t know if this counts because she was an orthodontist rather than a doctor/nurse, but when discussing me getting braces she asked about my medical history and i explained it all but said i haven’t been diagnosed so i understand if she can’t accommodate me. then she said to me, “hun.. just because you don’t have a piece of paper with a few words on it, doesn’t mean you aren’t ill. if you’ve got symptoms but no confirmed cause, you’ve still got the symptoms, and i’m not gonna ignore those unless you want me to” - the validation was so relieving after years of fighting for doctors to listen to me and believe me :,) ❤️

(i’ll update this throughout the month! <3)

[jess-abides]

Vent/rant re: weight, diet, etc below the cut

Yesterday my BIL told my husband and me that if we need a new doctor and wanted to try some weight loss meds, he has a bunch at his practice. And I immediately shot it down and said I’m not interested (growth) but tbh I’m having a lot of feelings about it. I’ve been putting in the fucking work, physically and mentally, to feel better about myself and get healthy. I’m feeling great - strong, confident, capable - in and out of the gym. I’m doing things I genuinely did not know I was capable of and getting stronger every day. Least importantly, I’ve lost 25lbs and 20 inches in the last five months. ALL WHILE fighting with my own brain every step of the way - forcing myself (and letting my trainer bully me) to eat regular meals, fighting every urge to diet or count calories, trying not to let the scale tell me my value each day, processing and unlearning a lifetime of fatphobia and diet culture and disordered eating. And I’m really fucking proud of myself for even getting this far!! But idk, that one comment from him was just so deflating and yet infuriating. Like it doesn’t matter how hard I work, it won’t matter unless I’m skinny - even to my family.

[linzsaw]

My Monthly Favs What’s in my cup:

Every morning I drink iced coffee made from my one & only Nespresso machine. The past few months I can’t get enough of the double espresso blend, and then I add a bit of whole milk (happy cows only) and sweet cream. I can’t find anything better from Starbucks or anywhere else. Sometimes if I’m craving a hot drink, I’ll head to Dutch Bros for a hot Carmelizer and it is totally worth the cringy 9 minute forced convo with the DB crew. I also start my day with electrolytes, currently in the watermelon flavor. It’s surprisingly really delicious but I miss the Electrolyte Synergy blend that I was drinking for a long time, which has been sold out for almost a year now. :’)

What’s on my plate:

Dinner lately has been the laziest in America. After our trip, Drew & I either have the same ole chicken, rice and veggies, a spicy “mexican bowl” or some form of pasta, usually with Raos Arriabatta sauce. This week we’ve been stuffing our faces with Trader Joe’s frozen meals. We promise to be better next month, but we are really exhausted and the last thing we feel like planning are meals. However, for the last week of December we actually have some things planned for the holiday weekend. On Friday, we’re hitting up the town as we do every year to walk around and see the lights, and find festive little bars to try out new Christmas cocktails. We plan to spend Christmas with just the two of us. For Christmas Eve we are making our annual corn beef, cabbage and carrots because apparently we are super Irish (confirmed by 23&me which btw leaked all my genes to hackers). On Christmas we are having tri-tip, garlic & butter brussel sprouts, and mashed potatoes. The Christmas cookies we’re making this year include White Chocolate Cherry Shortbread cookies, Peanut Butter Blossoms, & Holly Leaves. Okay and now that I’ve told you all that, the Christmas cocktails we decided on this year are The Mistletoe Kiss (a vodka, soda water, rosemary & cranberry drank) and Bad Santa White Russians. I also heard that Moon X Pinot Noir from Trader Joes was really good and lately the Redvolution just isn’t doing it for me.  Let me know if you want any of these recipes, ladies. I will make sure to find GF, DF, and V options. 

What’s on my bookshelf:

I’ve finished two of the Colleen Hoover books, and now I’m reading another one of hers called Verity. It’s kinda depressing but that’s kinda the vibe as of late so I’m into it. 

What’s in my playlist:

We love the Sia Christmas album. It’s so fun and happy. Believe it or not, Andy introduced me to it lol. It’s so good!! Other songs I’ve been into are I remember everything by Zach Bryan and Kacey Musgraves. It reminds me of a family member rn which is very depressing to me. Fun to cry to. Bubble - STAYC, Surround Sound - JID 21 Savage, Baby Tate, Adora Hills - Doja Cat. 

What I’m up to:

Making our house into a winter wonderland of lights. Watching hella hallmark movies. Being seriously lazy, not working out or eating healthy. Walks with Snoop around the park. Mandala scratch off nightscapes. Reading at 3am when I was jetlagged. I had a sleep study this month too, no sleep apnea for me, back to mouth taping! It really does help with quality of sleep for me. You should try it! Also magnesium spray on my feet (shout out to Aly). This has helped with my restless leg syndrome that we’ve all experienced. This weekend, we’re making all our foods and cocktails, going downtown, driving around with hot choc to look at lights, and heading up to Rocky Mountain to hike a bunch of mountains. 

Skincare Saviors:

My skin gets so dry in Colorado, its TERRIBLE. And now that I’m saving for a house, I had to break up with my amazing esthetician, who by the way I stole this template from. I’m obsessed with Dermlogica thanks to her. I use a miscellar water if I wore any make-up. If not, I just double clease with my face wash. In the AM I’ll use my Rosehip Triple C+E Firming  Oil, followed by COSRX snail mucin essence, and a magical mix of calm water gel and intensive moisture balance. 

Love you long time,

Li

[whentherewerebicycles]

made mung bean soup over brown rice and oh man I am FULL. it was very very good but I feel a little sick now—I didn’t eat THAT much but I think the beans have a shitload of fiber and that plus the brown rice might’ve been a little much. mm but I’d definitely eat it again especially on a cold rainy day—super warm & spicy & filling.

the best part is that I modified the original recipe and it turned out sooo much better. I’m at a point in my learning-to-cook journey where I can look at a recipe, imagine what it’s going to taste like, and figure out modifications either ahead of time or during the cooking process as I taste & adjust. the base recipe I used for this one was very easy but seemed super bland so I added a bunch more curry spices, doubled the garlic + ginger, chopped up celery and threw it in for a nice little crunch, squeezed in some tomato paste because a commenter suggested it, and added fresh lemon juice to taste at the end because I thought it needed a little extra zing (and I was right!!). I also feel like I’m getting much better at evaluating the doneness of various ingredients by sight/smell/taste rather than relying on timers and fixed heat settings, which is one of the things samin nosrat talks about in salt fat acid heat. I’m also getting a more intuitive sense for like… oh this ingredient’s denser so I need to add it before these other ones, or this veggie has more water so I want to add it at this point rather than this point, or spicing the onions now will draw out more flavor than waiting till that later step, or whatever, even if my sense of what to do lightly contradicts the recipe… and so far I think it’s producing better results than when I’d follow recipes religiously but produce pretty bland or uneven meals.

idk man! cooking is fun! I started this learn-to-cook project because I wanted to be able to 1) make easy healthy mostly-vegan meals and 2) teach my kids basic cooking skills from a young age, but I guess I wasn’t expecting it to be so much fun as like, an intellectual and creative challenge yknow? like obviously I am a person who loves to learn new subjects but I don’t really learn new skills all that often, and I’m surprised by how engaging it is (and how novel it feels!) to get slowly but steadily better at something where you can really see/evaluate your own progress. I guess writing is one of my favorite Hard Skills to work at but idk it’s just different! writing doesn’t give you the same type of immediate built-in feedback you can get from cooking… and also idk with writing it’ll often be weeks or months or years before you finish the thing you’re working on, whereas with cooking you’ve actually made something within an hour or two and you get to enjoy the product of your work right away or share it with others. anyway!! really enjoying this year of focused exploration & skill-building in cooking.

[coraz0ndegranada]

*personal info dump: tw ed & body image etc.*

i-

what they say is true. when you’re in a happy relationship you put on some weight, but this time it is different.

My current relationship is healthy in the sense of communication and all the pros you could imagine. We eat out a bunch (which I’ve been slowly changing) but mostly the concern is portion. He wants me to have everything I ever wanted. He knows I’ve had problems with food in the past, so he gets concerned if he thinks I am pretending to be full.

I understand, yk? You don’t want to see someone you care for in any type of agony, especially self inflicted. He’s a man who loves to indulge me so it’s hard to be mad about. We run together we skate together we dance all of it. Between work and needing to rest the frequency isn’t enough to keep up with how much delight we take in sharing a meal.

I’ve never been a small girl, my body is the opposite. I carry a lot of muscle but never put in the time or effort to define them. My strength is quite high. There’s just enough of a visual difference in how I look now v the time I met my love and I’ve been struggling to grapple with it.

This time I am committing to myself that it isn’t about how I can control this situation when a lot of other exterior stressors are inserting them into my life. This journey is about being able to run and have fun getting my breath back. It isn’t about being “skinny” anymore, it is about how I can retain my strength and lose fat while being conscious that I simply cannot be consuming as much as a man does.

I deserve to feel like I’m putting the time in for myself. Working out feels good, and I also use it as an offering of pain up to God. To sweat is to calm the mind.

Enjoying food shan’t be hindered this time round, ladies!!!!!

[nancypullen]

Countertop Eve

 I’m as excited as a kid at Christmas. We get our countertops tomorrow! After nine months in this house the kitchen will be finished! I spend a big chunk of my time in that room and it will finally feel like mine.  I cook a lot, I mean a lot, and I like my work space to be pretty and functional.  I don’t think that’s asking too much. These new countertops will stand the test of time. Since we’re on the topic of kitchens and cooking. I have decided that I am part elephant...or maybe panda. They eat tons of veggies and stay plump, and I am living proof that humans can do that too.  Most of my snacks and meals are made up of fruits and veggies.  This is what my cart typically looks like when I’m shopping -

Top to bottom - a bag of apples, blueberries, bananas, broccoli, green beans, romaine, 2 packages zucchini, carrots, celery, there’s a bag of basmati rice, two pounds of lean ground turkey, chicken breasts, and salmon.  Those two cans are extras to go into a big pot of vegetable soup.  Did I also cruise down the candy aisle and pick up a bar of dark chocolate with sea salt? Guilty.  But that cart usually feeds us for a about a week.  It’s not keeping me thin, but it is keeping me healthy. Knock on wood!  I guess I’ll have to be content with that. Quick snack - just cukes with a tiny sprinkle of Maldon salt. I love baby cukes and a big bag is usually under three bucks.

Those green beans? I’ll roast a bunch and eat ‘em for lunch. I spritz just a little olive oil, a sprinkle of sea salt, and then a few shakes of this black urfa chili.  It creates a deep, almost smoky flavor.

I roast them until they’re blistered then I squirt a half tablespoon of garlic aioli (yes, I know I could make my own, but this is soooo easy) into a dish for dipping. I swirl it around to make it look like more - who do I think I’m fooling? It’s delicious.   So 45 calories for the aioli and whatever is in that spritz of olive oil. I probably burn 45 calories loading the dishwasher. 

  Here’s a more fattening veggie dish, but not by much. Slice some zucchini lengthwise, lightly salt it, and leave it to sweat for about 20 minutes. Dab off the water.

Spray a pan with olive oil and plop them in face down until they’re nice and brown.  

Turn them over and pop them into a 400 degree oven for a few minutes. While that cooks, grab some fatty and flavorful toppings.  I chose reduced-fat feta, red pepper flakes, and my bff, garlic aioli.  No, I don’t eat it every day. Only on days when I want to be happy.

A schmear of aioli on the plate is enough.

An extra  sprinkle of red pepper flakes doesn’t hurt either.  When your zucchini is done (we’re talking just a few minutes, you don’t want it mushy!) plate it and give it a crumble of feta and more flakes.

This was a delicious and filling lunch.  Just because I followed it with a square of dark chocolate for dessert doesn’t negate the fact that my lunch was less than 200 calories; 45-ish for the aioli, about the same for the feta, and then the olive oil.   One medium zucchini is 33 calories. I probably burned that while cooking it.  The feta is a good source of B vitamins, calcium and phosphorus - so it’s almost medicine, right?  Like I said, I’m round but very healthy.

That said, it’s time for more water and something yummy for lunch.  Dinner tonight is salmon and roasted broccoli.  Lunch is probably going to be veggies.  Mostly because it’s good for me, but also because my husband can’t stay out of Craft Bakery!!

I think he’s trying to kill me.  He went out this morning to take photos and came home with a haul from the bakery.  My only real weaknesses there are her quiche and the blackout cookies.   This plate doesn’t tempt me.  The quiche is roasted potato, caramelized onion, and cheddar and it’s sitting in the frig calling my name. Pray for my salvation.

Me too, Mae, me too. With that in mind I’m going outside in the sunny 46 degree weather to try to clean up that scraggly tree line and pull some ivy off trees.  I can’t hear the siren song of the frig out there.  I’m thinking of spring and what I want to see when I look out the windows to that back yard.  My itty bitty Jane Magnolia has buds, it survived the winter!  In a few years I’ll have a pretty pink tree out there.  If I want to live to see it I’ll avoid the quiche.  My good genetics can only carry me so far. I hope that you’re having a lovely Thursday and can get outside and turn your face to the sun. We’re already seeing longer days and I’m a fan.  There are daffodils up all over town and that always puts me in a sunny frame of mind. March up here came in like a lamb, so she may exit like a lion - but her sweeter sister, April, is waiting in the wings.  Here comes the sun, folks!

Sending you love & sunshine! Nancy