#I’m terrified to move because I know I’ll immediately be fighting to stay out of debt because of this insanity

[ron-do-i-get-to-sing-my-way]

Studio apartment in basement with sketchy door to shared laundry, bed squeezed in beside the fridge. 1000$. ONE THOUSAND DOLLARS A MONTH. You’ll know when if I win the lottery because I’ll just be living in my own place 💀

[sunnys-out]

Alexia, mi reinita, mi amor, mi todo | Alexia Putellas x Reader

A/N: Not me wanting to get this out still on Alexia's birthday like I'm turning an essay in at midnight. Ok honestly I would write a part two of this but that's only if people are interested. Again requests are closed for now.

So it's a little angsty, has a little hurt/comfort (I know this woman gives the best hugs let's be real), and some Alexia fluff.

Based on this prompt list: #4, #20

Warnings: Anxiety/panic attack symptoms

WC: 1860

Alexia had resolved it in herself that she would use whatever leverage she had to have you stay at Barcelona. She was not the type to use that card…she was not that kind of player…the type to threaten to leave to get what she wanted, but the thing she wanted was you. She had tried to speak with some of the staff about it but they were “conveniently busy”. With no success, she texts you “Voy a casa, te veo pronto, amor” (I’m going home, I’ll see you soon, love)  before driving over to your shared home.

Barcelona was dragging their feet with regards to your contract of whether you would be renewed or be traded to some other club, some other league, some other country. You had spent 4 years dedicated to Barcelona and had earned your spot in the midfield. The statistics you pulled throughout your career there were phenomenal, the kind that made your girlfriend proud to see because she was there from the beginning. So why was Barcelona playing a cat and mouse game with your livelihood?

______________________________________________________________

“Alexia, mi Reinita, mi amor, mi todo (my little queen, my love, my everything),

You know that I am better with my words written on paper than spoken to you. You still make me nervous when I look at you; I still blush as quickly as I did when we first met. I write this to you because I’m going to America to Bay FC…the deal has been done and the announcements will be out in a couple of weeks, but I wanted you to be the first to know. 

______________________________________________________________

The amount of times that Alexia had found you at that kitchen table with your head covered by your arms crying out your frustrations at another deal that went nowhere. She would never say a word and just quietly wrapped her arms around you and kissed the back of your head before laying hers on it. Once the crying stopped her hand would gently rub your back until eventually you began to move and pulled her into a hug with your head at her abdomen with a quick whisper of “let’s go to sleep”. Her only words would be “of course, cariño (dear)”.

______________________________________________________________

I know how you are mi amor (my love) but fighting the club is not worth it. It is hard to swallow the reality that the club that I grew up watching, grew up to play in, does not carry the same love and dedication I had for them…for me. You were one of the first people I met 4 years ago when I transferred from my club team in Mexico. It was a big move and you were there to just welcome me in, you knew immediately that I did not take change very well and was uncomfortable with everything. 

______________________________________________________________

Alexia, at some point, blocked some sports news outlets on your social media because of how overwhelming the “(y/n) Transfer Rumor” posts were getting for you. You did not want to leave Barcelona, you had made a home there with Alexia and the thought of leaving all of what you had terrified you. 

You could already hear the comments from the “fans” questioning your loyalty, why you couldn’t just confirm that you would be staying at Barça or leaving the team all together, why you were silent on the rumors? Alexia would be there with her head on your shoulder quietly holding you in the kitchen quieting the noises in your head with a simple kiss to the temple.

“Mi princesa, go sit down.. I’ll make dinner” she’d whisper into your hair as she led you to the table and made dinner while you watched with warmth at the woman before you. 

______________________________________________________________

I remember you would tease me about my accent when I spoke Spanish and said you would give me lessons if I made you a bag after you saw me crocheting mine on the bus to my first away game. I know that the Spanish lessons were just a way to spend time with me. You could have asked me to be with you at any point and I would have said yes. I remember you teaching me how to dance in our kitchen one night after saying that I was worried about making a fool out of myself at my brother’s wedding. I’m going to miss our 3 am dances we would do when I was pacing the kitchen stressed out of my mind on this transfer.

As you said, “Here I don’t want you to walk back and forth alone, just dance with me instead…I'm here”. I still remember the feeling of you under my palms; every curve, every line as I would take the lead of the dance and you would look at me calmly guiding my hands like how you did when you first taught me…yeah I’ll miss those quiet moments the most. 

______________________________________________________________

You had not gone to practice that morning due to stomach issues and you had to basically push Alexia out of the door so that she went to practice. 

“I’ll get some rest do not worry, mi Reinita” You say as she answers with a quick kiss.

She grabs her bags and gives another kiss pulling you in,“I’ll be home as soon as I'm done ok?”.

Alexia entered through the doorway of the shared home and saw several moving boxes littered on the floor. Confused, she looks for you as there is not the usual soft music that you play when you are doing chores and finds you wrapped in a blanket sound asleep on the couch.

Her bag is gently put to the ground as she rounds the corner of the couch. She sees the coffee table littered with papers and your phone with an unread message from her.

She quietly looms over the papers, seeing a copy of your original Barcelona contract, the proposal, the rejection to the proposal, another club offer and, finally, the letter to confirm intention to transfer. Your phone lights up with another notification; getting the attention of Alexia who notices the handwritten letter that remained unfinished under your phone. 

You were a semi - heavy sleeper so she picked up the letter and began to read as her soft smile appeared, fell and then reappeared.  The boxes made sense now, you were organizing your things ahead of time to leave. Seems that you received the news that morning, explaining why the staff were busy when Alexia tried her best to speak with them.

She looked down at your handwriting again…she’s so familiar with it as you have always littered her spaces with sticky notes of encouragement, love and everything in between. You always thought she had thrown them away but on your 2nd year anniversary she showed you the box where she had kept every single note that you had written to her. 

It didn’t matter to her; she kept all the ones that said “Hi Ale, can you get some milk?”, “Reinita, there is dinner in the fridge”, “I’m too lazy, I ordered pizza oh and I guess Patri is coming over?’ 

This letter no matter how long she will keep especially close to her.

Alexia sat at the other end of the couch and began to read the last bit of the letter.

______________________________________________________________

I know that I will be so far from you and that you will miss the things that I do. You were always a romantic like that mi amor (my love). That’s why I am going to leave you my favorite book, the one that I always read way too many times and have cried over just as much. The only thing that I ask is that you don’t open it until I am gone and you are missing me. Just saying not to is going to make you want to open the book even more but please listen to me on this one. :)

I don’t know what the fixtures of the NWSL are yet but I know that you will want to -

______________________________________________________________

You stir and stretch out your legs pushing Alexia in the process. The resistance pulled you from your sleep.

Alexia laughs softly as she pats your leg, “Sleep well, cariño (dear)?” 

You only nod as you rub the sleep from your eyes. Without a word, you sit up and look at Alexia who fiddles with the note that you had written. 

“I wish I was at least awake when you found out, amor (love)” you start as you shift over to be closer to her.

“Are you mad at me?” your head now lying on her shoulder.

Alexia looks, almost, offended at the comment as she turns to you.

“This is your decision, cariño, you know that I will support in whatever you do and wherever you go…I’m sad, yes, but seeing you living out your dreams has been a honor for me…so no I’m not mad solamente bien orgullosa de ti (only very proud of you)”.

She pulls you closer, her hand softly rubbing your arm as she hears the small sniffles coming from you.

“Promise me you’ll watch at least one game” you say softly.

Alexia laughs and kisses the top of your head, “Amor, I’ll watch every one”.

______________________________________________________________

The announcement came and went and so did you. You found yourself preparing for the inaugural season for Bay FC. The fans had taken a liking to you immediately and the management welcomed you with open arms. 

Alexia, remained in your shared home that now was quieter without your presence. The spaces that normally were filled with little posts were bare, the days for chores weren’t filled with your questionable music, and Alexia no longer needed to dance in the kitchen at 3 am.

After a particularly hard practice, Alexia returned home missing you more than usual. As she plopped down on the couch her eyes fell on your book that you left behind for her.

She remembered that you had asked her to not open it until you were gone to your new club.

Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Cafe by Fannie Flagg, it was the book that you read every year during the summer without fail. No matter how many times you read it, Alexia would see you tear up and close the book to compose yourself before continuing. 

She got the book and opened to the first page and seeing a small, sticky note,

“I miss you, mi reinita”.

Alexia flipped the page and found another one,

“You can text my mom for her soup recipe, she’d only give it to you”

A laugh escapes her as she continues through the book finding more and more of your notes that you had written out. She skips to the end and finds an older looking note.

“I love you, Alexia Putellas…” with the date of your 1st anniversary with Alexia.

And below with newer ink and dated the day that you had left.

“And I… I still love you, even after all of this time”.

[trippinsorrows]

with me + part seven

authors note: i take some creative liberties with medical (mostly hipaa) stuff in this one, so please disregard. also, thank you everyone for (still!!!) being so interested in this story. you guys are making me wanna flesh it out even more like seriously 😭 i wanted to not make it past 10 (3 to 4 initially) parts but the support has been so humbling, and ya'll seem to like/want more sooooo 😭

song inspo: with me by destiny's child

status: in progress // masterlist

warnings: angst, language, suggestive themes

words: 7k

taglist: @pixiedust4000 @southerngirl41 @yolobloggers @msbigredmachine @wanderingreigns

Absolutely every rule of the road is broken in getting Callie to the hospital.

You couldn’t give two shits. 

You just continue to try to reassure your crying child that she's going to be okay while fighting your own pending panic attack.

Speeding through the lanes, uncaring if the light is yellow and you should slow down, you’ll take whatever ticket. The only rule you abide by is not going through a red light, understanding how stupid and dangerous that is. However, while the hospital is about a 15 to 20 minute drive from you, you make it there in a solid eight minutes.

And even that is too much.

The emergency room is, expectedly, pretty empty save a couple of people. Emergencies are rare and infrequent in your town. It’s truly a stroke of bad, cruel luck that your sweet little girl is victim to one of the few. 

Rushing to the front desk, Callie cradled against you, you blurt to the receptionist, “something’s wrong with her stomach.”

The woman appears uninterested until her eyes land on Calista who’s still crying into your chest, hand on her stomach. She calls out to the back, and you see the double doors open. A few minutes later, if that, a set of doctor and nurses emerge. 

“What happened?” The doctor immediately asks, starting to assess Callie, first checking for a fever and then shining a light in both her eyes. 

Speaking is suddenly difficult, but you manage, “I–I don’t know. She said her stomach was hurting right before she went to bed, so I gave her some Children’s Tylenol, then she woke up in the middle of the night screaming in pain, and I–I rushed her over here.”

He nods, gently going to press on her stomach as she shouts in pain again. Your own stomach clenches, hating to see her hurt like this. 

Something appears to flash in his vision, but whatever it is, he keeps it to himself. “We need to admit her.” He reaches for Callie who suddenly clings tighter to you.

“No!” There’s pure fear and panic in her voice, as she starts to cry harder. “I wanna stay with my mommy!” 

Her words kill you, because you also don’t want to let her go, but you know it’s what needs to happen. “Baby, it’s okay, they’re gonna help you, and I’m right here, alright?” You try to reassure her, gently stroking her hair. “I’m not going anywhere. I promise.”

She’s clearly still uncomfortable but allows the doctor to carry her, as he instructs one of the nurses, “page peds.” Her eyes never leave you as he moves quickly to carry her into one of the rooms, carefully placing her down on the bed. You’re immediately by her side, needing her to know you’re right here with her and not going anywhere. 

While the doctor gives a variety of commands to some of the nurses, you somehow have the wherewithal to catch the attention of one of the nurses, informing, “her dad is on his way. Can you make sure they let him back? His name is Joe.”

She nods. “Of course.” 

“And—” this is both relevant and irrelevant, but as it’s at the forefront of your mind, so you tell her, “I also need a release form. For him. He’s….he’s not on the birth certificate.”

If she’s judging you for this piece of information, you’ll never know because her expression remains unchanged. “I’ll have one brought to you.”

“Thank you.” It hasn’t really crossed your mind until this terrifying moment that Joe has no legal right or say into any medical or legal situations regarding Calista. This scares you in a different way, her own father having no say in decisions that could be life or death. It’s shoved into the back of your mind, but when this is all said and done, you know this it’s something you need to discuss with him. 

You need to look into whatever the state requires to have a father’s name added to a birth certificate. But, of course, all of this is secondary to what’s happening before you, your focus returning to Callie who’s still holding onto your arm. 

“Alright, what do we have here?” 

A new voice enters the room, and you look up, momentarily surprised to see another doctor, but it’s not the fact that it’s a doctor that surprises you. It’s who the doctor is. 

You give him a double take, almost not trusting your judgment in this moment. But when he approaches Callie’s side and offers a gentle smile, you see it, the cleft in his chin. 

“Kai?” 

He lifts his eyes to you, offering a small nod, returning his focus to assessing Callie. And then he looks up again. Like he gave you the standard acknowledgement only to also realize who you are.

“Y/N?”

Yup. Hearing his voice again, you’re certain this is most definitely Kai Sawyer. 

Kai Sawyer, former classmate, once friend, brief lover when you were in high school. He was always sweet, almost too sweet for the toxic teenager you were who was too stuck on Amir to realize Kai was a much better option. 

Granted, it was never serious. You never had any sort of feelings for him that left you stumped.

Nothing like with Joe. 

“It’s good to see you.” He seems just as surprised to see you as you are to see him. The last you heard was that he left for school, pursuing a medical career and planned to move out of state. Kai motions to Callie. “This is your daughter?” Nodding with a small, forced smile, you watch him carefully lean down to be closer to Callie’s eye level. “Hi there, sweetie. I’m Dr. Sawyer. Can you tell me your name?”

She sniffles, seemingly holding you tighter. “Callie.”

“Callie,” he says, precisely, pronouncing each syllable. “What a very pretty name. Well, Callie, is it okay if I feel your belly so we can see what’s going on and help you feel better?”

She doesn’t look at you for approval, instead nodding as Kai starts to evaluate her. Once again, she cries out in pain as he feels the same area you’d unintentionally put too much pressure on. 

“It hurts,” she whimpers, and you kiss her forehead. Seeing her in pain is a form of torture you absolutely cannot tolerate. 

“I’m sorry, honey,” he apologies, standing upright again. “We’re gonna make you all better though, okay?” 

She says nothing, instead tugging you closer to her as she lays her head against your shoulder.

Kai speaks to the nurses in a low voice, where you can only make out intermittent parts. Something about an IV drip and pain meds. Once he’s done, he looks over at you and continues with that low voice, “can I talk to you outside?”

His question doesn’t help with the anxiety you’re already having an extremely difficult time controlling, but Callie’s heightened cries and tightened grasp on you captures your attention the most.

“No, mommy, don’t leave me!" 

It’s an impossible decision, even if logically, you know what you have to do. Whatever Kai wants to discuss with you clearly doesn’t need to be in front of Callie, but you also know she’s hurting and just wants her mom. 

“You said your name is Callie? That’s such a cute name.” One of the nurses comes over and offers a warm smile. “I have a little girl who’s just about your age too. She likes barbies and playing dress up. What do you like?”

Sniffling, still holding onto you, Callie meets the nurse’s eye contact and answers after a second. “Disney.”

The nurse gasps, “so does my little girl.” She sits on the side of the bed as the other nurse finishes inserting Callie’s IV. “Is it okay if I sit with you and we talk about Disney while mama talks to Dr. Sawyer?”

You’re so thankful for this act of kindness and assure Callie, “I’ll be right back. I’m just outside the door, okay?”

She’s still unsure and highly uncomfortable, but a small nod precedes her releasing her grip on you. You start to climb out of the hospital bed when she grabs you again. 

You expect another form of protest, of unease about you leaving her. Instead, in a small, innocent voice, she states, “I want Joe.”

The ball in the back of your throat grows exponentially. You’re already emotional, for obvious reasons, but there’s something about her request, so simple yet so powerfully telling, that brings a new set of tears to your eyes. 

“He’s on his way, baby, okay?” As the hospital is in the same direction as his hotel, you expect his arrival in a matter of minutes, hopefully. 

She seems comforted by this piece of information, and you’re able to break away to follow Kai outside the room. Once out of a proximity where she could overhear, you ask, urgently, “what’s wrong with her?”

Kai sighs, crossing his arms over his body with a sympathetic expression. “Well, I—”

The sound of heavy, urgent footsteps capture your attention, and you look to your side to see a nurse escorting Joe. His eyes land on you with a curious expression before he asks, “where is she?”

His voice is calm, but you know him well. Too well. Enough to know that he’s worried out of his mind, too. 

You gesture to the door a few inches away from you. “With the nurse.” Gesturing to Kai, you inform, “this is the doctor.”

There’s something about Joe’s presence that instantly calms you, allows your emotions to regulate just a little better. 

“Holy shit,” Kai breathes, and you look over to see he’s staring at Joe with bewilderment. “You’re–uh—is this her dad?” The question is posed to you, and you run your hand over your face, nodding. Kai clearly recognizes Joe, err, Roman, and is in a brief state of celebrity panic. Any other time, you’d understand it, but right now, you’re on the doorsteps of a nervous breakdown, and the medical professional in charge of Callie’s care being starstruck isn’t the least bit helpful.

“Yes,” Joe answers, his voice not unkind but not friendly either. “What’s wrong with my daughter?”

Kai clears his throat, snapping back into his professional shoes. “It seems like early stages of appendicitis. We call it acute appendicitis, meaning her appendix hasn’t ruptured yet, which is good.” He gazes at you, grateful. “You got her here just in time.”

His words do little to comfort you, because you’re still stuck on the first part. 

“Appendicitis?” You repeat, confused . “But–but she’s only four. How—”

“It’s not as uncommon in children as people think. Did you by any chance have one when you were younger?”

You have to think for a second, recognition then dawning. You’d completely forgotten about that borderline traumatic experience that was eerily similar to this. Waking your mom up because you were in a tremendous amount of pain and her calling 911 to rush you to the hospital. God, how could you not remember that until now? “Yes, yes, but I was—I was like 10.”

“So still a kid,” he confirms. Kai turns to Joe. “What about dad?”

“Yeah, I was twelve.” 

“Wait a minute.” You don’t know about Joe, but you certainly remember the outcome of your experience. “You—you don’t have to operate on her, right?” Scoffing, your words become difficult to express. “Kai, she’s—she’s too little for that. There’s—there’s another way, right?”

“Surgery is the best treatment—”

“No!” You cut him off, not wanting to hear this shit. “You’re not cutting her open, Kai. I–I won’t—-I won’t allow it.”

Joe finally addresses you, hand on the small of your back as he tries to get you to look at him. “Y/N….”

You jerk away, “I said no!” Turning back to Kai, you plead, eyes starting to burn again, “isn’t there—isn’t there something else you can do? Like medicine or—”

“Her appendix needs to be removed, Y/N. There’s no way around that.” Kai’s tone is full-on professional, borderline pleading, needing you to actually heed to his medical opinion. “The procedure is standard, should take about an hour, and it presents minimal risk. It’s really the best and safest option. If we don’t operate, inflammation could increase and eventually cause her appendix to rupture. Once that happens, because of her age, she becomes at an increasingly high risk for infection. And that could become fatal.” 

The word fatal sounds out everything else as you fall back against the wall, covering your mouth, unable to hold back the tears. “Oh my god.”

Joe looks at Kai, directring firmly. “Do it. Do it now.”

“I’ll book an OR.” Kai nods and you hear him say something else, but it’s all so distant and blurry. Fatal and Callie should never be in the same sentence, but right now it’s a reality that you can’t fathom. Your chest hurts, your stomach hollow, and head all over the place.

“I—it’s my fault,” you murmur to yourself or maybe Joe. You’re not entirely sure. “She—she told me her stomach was upset, but I—I didn’t listen. I just—I just gave her medicine and made her go to sleep.” You inhale sharply, eyes burning with salty tears. “She was in pain, and I didn’t listen to her. I didn’t—”

“Baby, look at me.” Before you realize it, Joe is in front of you, cupping your face and forcing your blurry gaze on him. “You did nothing wrong. There was no way for you to know what was happening.”

“I’m her mother, Joe—" you protest, sniffling, hands on his chest. “I’m supposed to know when something’s wrong. I’m–I’m supposed to protect her.”

“And you did,” he assures, pushing back some of your hair. “You heard the doctor. You got her here just in time. It could have been a lot worse.” He wipes away your tears, hating to see you so upset, so hard on yourself over a situation outside of your control. “You’re an amazing mother. Do you know why she’s such a great and happy kid? Because of you. Because you take such good care of her. You’ve raised her on your own, and look at how amazing she is. That’s all you. Why else do you think she’s so attached to you? Because you’re just as much her world as she is yours.” He pulls you into his chest, continuing to gently comfort you, “she’s gonna be fine, okay?” 

Being held in that moment, being held by Joe is exactly what you need. It centers you as much as one can be centered in this kind of situation. You find yourself holding onto him, embracing the comfort and support. 

Eyes shut, you murmur into his chest, “thank you for being here.”

You feel his hand move gently down your back, his mouth pressed to the top of your head. “Always.”

After a few minutes, maybe more, maybe less, you separate and wipe at your eyes. “Okay.” It’s trying to gather yourself before going back in the room, not wanting to scare her or make anything worse for her than it already is. “We–we need to tell her.”

“You want me to tell her?” He offers, and you’re thankful. He clearly sees how upsetting all of this is and is eager to support you anyway he can.  

“No,” you finally answer. “We’ll do it together.” 

Joe takes your hand and rubs his thumb across your knuckles, a kind, comforting gesture. Appreciated. You appreciate him so fucking much in this moment that it’s almost impossible to explain. Your calm in this storm, a voice of sound reason. Much needed advocate for your daughter as you fall victim to your emotions. 

He looks at you once more, assessing your readiness. A simple nod gives him the answer he needs, as he heads for the door, holding it open so you can enter first. 

The same nurse who so kindly recognized a need lifts her head with that same warm smile. Your eyes immediately land on Calista, who looks less pale than she was when you brought her in. She’s also no longer crying. That relieves you the most. A mother seeing her child cry is a kind of pain no one should ever have to experience. 

The pain meds must be kicking in. You’re immensely grateful.

But as quick as her eyes were on you, they bounce almost instantly to Joe, a larger smile growing. 

“Joe!” Even her voice is stronger, not as weak or weighed down with pain. 

“There’s my girl,” Joe greets, instantly at her side, kissing the top of her head. “How are you feeling, sweetheart?”

“A little better, but my tummy still hurts.”

Allowing them their moment, you turn to the nurse who’s subtly backed away, also recognizing this is a moment that shouldn’t be intruded upon. She also subtly reaches you the clipboard with the ROI that you quickly fill out and hand back to her. “Thank you,” you whisper, hoping your eyes reveal just how much you appreciate her thoughtfulness.

“Of course,” she replies, giving a final look to Callie. “I’ll leave you all alone.” 

Once the door is shut and it’s just the three of you, you move to the other side of the hospital bed, seeing there’s a possible space to jump in and gently break the news to her. A shared glance with Joe followed by a nod is the answer you need as you take a deep breath.

“Calista….” As soon as she gazes at you, you recognize she knows something is up. You hardly ever use her full first name. “Baby, Joe and I talked to the doctor about what he needs to do to make you all better, and—and he said you’ve gotta have surgery to take the bad stuff out your stomach.”

Her brows cave together, confused. “What’s surgery?”

Joe jumps in, recognizing your initial difficulty with how to explain such a concept to a young child. “It’s when doctors give you medicine to make you go to sleep while they take the bad stuff out of you.”

She looks at him, a little more understanding, still obviously and understandably unsure. “Does it hurt?”

You answer, trying your best to keep your tone as calm as possible. “When you wake up, it may hurt a little but that’s cause it’s gotta heal.” 

Joe shares, and you’re so grateful for his partnership at this moment. For his ability to assist and tag team. “You wanna know something? Your mom and I had the same surgery when we were kids.”

She seems intrigued by this. “Really?” Nodding, you study her facial expressions, knowing her well enough to know that she’s struggling with her emotions. She’s not alone. 

Finally, after a minute of contemplation, she whispers, “I’m scared.” 

“It’s okay to be scared, Callie,” Joe assures. He's so damn good with her, gentle and patient. “Everyone gets scared.”

She looks over at him, asking innocently, “even you?”

“Of course,” he answers, vulnerably sharing, “I was scared when your mom called me and said she was taking you to the hospital.” The both of you were. That’s no call any parent wants to ever receive. 

She looks between the two of you. “Can you guys come with me?”

“We can’t go back with you, but we’ll be waiting right here for you as soon as you wake up.” Joe answers for you, thumb brushing over her forehead.

“You promise?”

 Lips pressed against her forehead, you vow, “we promise.”

—-------

As soon as Callie is taken back to the OR and the two of you are left alone in the waiting area, Joe begins to lift his hoodie over his head, suddenly reaching it to you. “Put this on.” 

You look at him, confused. “What?”

His eyes briefly trail your body, head to toe. “Do you realize what you're wearing?”

Brows furrowed, you look down and gasp. In the midst of adrenaline and flight or flight, your appearance never dawned on you. Your pajama set is short, skimpy, and shows off a slice of your stomach, not that you care too much about that. It’s more the fact that you’re not wearing a bra, and this waiting room is cold as fuck. 

You also realize your bonnet is still on your head. 

In short, you look a hot ass mess, more like someone waiting for admission to the psych ward instead of an anxious parent awaiting her daughter to get out of surgery. 

“Fuck.” The first thing you do is rip your bonnet off, deciding to keep your pineapple. Next is accepting Joe’s hoodie, sliding it over your frame. It’s understandably baggy, grazing just above your knees. “Thank you.” 

The two of you move over to the seating area as you sigh loudly, suddenly asking. “What time is it?”

He checks the watch on his wrist. “3:15.” 

You scoff, rubbing your eyes but not saying anything, leaning back into the seat, trying to not get too much into your head. It’s a difficult feat when your four-year-old child is under the knife for emergency surgery.

“The doctor…..” Joe starts, and you turn to look at him. “You called him by his first name.”

He doesn’t need to elaborate for you to understand his question. “We went to high school together.” If your intention was to keep your answer as casual and general as possible, you fail miserably because Joe 100% picks up on the unspoken words. 

“And?”

Shrugging, you explain, “we didn’t date per se, but we hooked up.” Looking back, you recognize how Kai was absolutely a rebound in between Amir and all his bullshit. And you do regret that, because Kai was always a genuinely nice guy. He didn't deserve to be caught up in your Joker-Harley Quinn ‘love’ story. 

“Fucking hell.” Joe looks away, genuinely annoyed, and for some reason, it makes you smile. The first of the night, err, morning. And you’re weirdly thankful for this conversation, for this distraction you wonder if he's intentionally providing you. “Do all your ex’s still live here? Why does nobody ever leave this town?”

You laugh, actually laugh, and it feels nice. A contrast from all of the heaviness you’ve experienced over the past few hours. 

Sucking your teeth, you respond, sassily. “I’m tired of you roasting my tiny little no name town.”

He eyes you curiously, clearly surprised by your reference. “You watch?”

“Occasionally,” you answer with a shrug. You don’t want to tell him you’ve found yourself increasingly watching Bloodline clips during the kids' lunchtime at school. Or at night when you don’t know what else to watch. Not when before his return, it was rare and in between you’d find yourself consuming anything WWE related, let alone with Roman Reigns. “Not a lot. Just enough to see how you’re doing exactly what I always knew you could do.” 

Joe stares, appreciatively, gently adding, “you always believed in me.” 

“Of course, I did.” It’s always been so visible and obvious. From the very beginning, you recognized his potential and knew he would excel once they finally released him from his shackles. You find yourself leaning against his body and grab onto his arm. “I could never have a bum for a baby daddy.”

You don’t have to be looking at him to know he’s rolling his eyes, that expression of his that’s a mixture of a scowl and smile. 

He doesn’t say anything after that, not immediately, and that’s okay, because just sitting here, with him, not alone and in your head is a great comfort.

“She has my last name.”

You look up at him, surprised and confused as to why he’s saying this like he didn’t already know it. But it’s in that looking at him, you see it’s because he clearly didn’t already know this.

He was unaware. 

Sitting up, you ask, “you didn't know?”

He shakes his head, explaining, “when I got here, I said I was here for Calista, and she said Calista Anoa’i.” That’s it. How he found out. How his daughter, who he hadn’t even known about up until not even two months ago, shared the same last name as him. All of these major life reveals being dropped on him like it’s nothing.

You feel terrible again, just for different reasons. 

“I never wanted to erase you from her life. I just—” It’s hard to explain something you’re starting to not even fully understand. In such a short timespan, Joe has done a tremendous job stepping into the role of dad. So much so that it has you deeply regretting depriving him of the almost first five years of her life.

Depriving yourself of having a partner to raise Callie with.

“I just went about it all wrong,” is the best you can land on to describe what you’re thinking and feeling. “And I'm sorry you found out like this. I guess, I just thought it would have come up by now.”

“It’s fine.” It’s not. He’s just trying to be mindful of where you are emotionally right now. Always considerate, despite his own feelings. 

Grabbing a hold of his arm, you lean into him again, eventually murmuring, “no, it’s not.” You’re starting to feel more and more like there was never a good enough reason to rob him of this, to have a child walking around this earth with his last name, his blood, and him be in the dark. Him being married was a factor, but it wasn’t a firm reason. “I’m sorry.” 

“You don’t ha—”

“Yes, I do,” you interrupt him, already knowing he’s going to try to pacify you, to try to convince you that it wasn’t that bad. Bullshit. “You missed out on so much, because of me, and I’m truly sorry, Joe. My own shit got i—”

“Excuse me?”

You sit upright, attention automatically redirected to the Caucasian woman in front of you with a bad bleach job, crows feet that probably contrast her actual age, and a clipboard. It’s the damn clipboard that kills your thought that maybe Callie is out her surgery and you guys can see her. 

Wishful thinking.

“Bill it,” is your short, curt reply as you lay back down against Joe’s arm. His eyes are on you, curious. 

The woman gives a small, fake laugh. “Excuse me?”

“You’re here to discuss insurance shit, right?” Her silence is the answer you need. “Well, I’m telling you to bill my insurance and then send me a bill.” 

She extends a more authentic smile to Joe, and you almost could swear you see the faintest hint of blush on her pale face. “Well, aren’t you three steps ahead?” When you don’t say anything, she awkwardly clears her throat and continues. “I actually wanted to know if you’d like to take advantage of this really great option we have where we give you an estimated cost and accept payment now so that—”

“Lady, my daughter is in surgery right now. I don’t give a scathing fuck about your great option. Bill it, and get the hell away from us.” Your words are blunt, coarse, and very much to the point. You couldn’t give two shits about anything she has to say if it’s not regarding Callie being out, up, and all better.

Joe chuckles above you, still saying nothing, just watching her walk away with her tail between her legs. “You had some restraint. I’m proud of you.”

“Shut up,” you mutter, eyes closing as you try to allow yourself to bask in the comfort he provides. It’s such a different experience. The last time you had to rush Callie to the ER, she was two, your mom was out of town on a women’s retreat, and Mariah was off on her honeymoon. It was just you, by yourself, waiting to find out what the hell was wrong with your toddler. 

Having someone with you in this moment, having him with you, means more to you than he could ever imagine.

“How’d you come up with her name?” He asks after a few moments of silence.

This brings a smile to your face, a genuine one that you actually feel in your body. “A book.” 

“Like a baby name book?” You should have known better. Joe is many things, a man of specificity being pretty high up there. 

You hesitate to respond. “Not exactly.”

He glances down, assessing your expression before tilting his head back. “You didn’t.”

“Hear me out.” 

“Did you seriously name our daughter after some character from one of your freaky ass sex books?” You’re grateful for the little laughter this conversation provides you, and it makes you realize how much this man must have missed you to remember that. To remember your guilty pleasure for smutty kindle books. Not so much as you’ve gotten older and just genuinely don’t have the time to read them.

Resting your chin against his massive arm, you defend, “first of all, rude. Secondly, it wasn’t even that freaky. Unfortunately.” He rolls his eyes and you continue, “the character was actually really interesting and not awful. And I’d never heard the name Calista before, so when I looked it up and saw it meant most beautiful….it just fit.” Toward the end of your pregnancy was when you fully allowed yourself to embrace being a mother, regardless of the circumstances. It was a blessing and beautiful experience, and you found yourself counting down the days until your due date. “Her middle name is Manaia.” 

He chuckles, softly. “That’s Samoan.”

Chewing on your bottom lip, you rest your cheek against him again. “I know…I told you, she’s just as much you as she is me.” 

—-------

Joe approaches the front desk, seeing a brunette woman scrolling on her phone with a bored expression. Understandable, given the room is empty sans a janitor making the rounds. It’s probably the first and last empty emergency room he’ll ever come across.

“Excuse me.”

She looks up, and her mouth parts, an instant smile growing. One he’s used to but wholeheartedly couldn’t care less about. 

“Hi.” Her tone is much more breathy than what’s necessary, some attempt at coming off flirtatious would be his guess. Zero shits are still given.

Joe doesn’t waste any time, already wanting to get back to you, even if he knows you went to go call your mom and let her know what happened. Still, he needs to, at the very least, get back before he has to feed you some bullshit excuse about where he was. “I need to add a new card on file for Calista Anoa’i.”

She leans forward, chin in her hand, uneven, needle thin eyebrows wiggling. “Are you dad?”

Obviously. “Yes.”

“Lucky kid.” He’d take a good guess that she doesn’t recognize him, which for that, he’s grateful. She just finds him attractive, which is still irritating and unprofessional as hell. Have an attraction, but don’t be so vocal and desperate. “Mom too.”

Ignoring her comment, he grabs his wallet, pulling out his card and sliding it over.

“Do—”

“Change it to the default payment,” he instructs, not in the mood for whatever else she wants to try. It’s all in vain. He has eyes for one woman only, and it certainly isn’t her. “Is there any way you can set it up for autopay?”

She gives Joe a strange expression, like she questions his ability to consent. Because no one in their right mind would authorize a hospital to have such power with their money. “Umm, we can, but it’s really not recommended because you can never guarantee just how much insurance will and won’t cover. So, if they deny the claim in its entirety, then they’ll charge the entire balance—”

“That’s fine,” he cuts her off. “Just do it, and make sure any future charges go to that card only.” He thinks about it, asking, “matter of fact, can you take mom’s card off file altogether?” Joe knows you’re gonna bite his head off for this, and he doesn’t care. He knows medical bills can get costly, and you’re not making bank on a teacher’s salary. The least he can do is take care of his daughter’s medical costs.

“Uhh, sure, as long as you understand—”

“Money isn’t an issue. At all. Do it.”

She shakes her head but types away eventually reaching Joe his card. “All done. You can call and change it at any—”

“I won’t.” And that’s a fact. “Thank you.” 

Joe doesn’t give her a chance to respond or try anything else, turning to head back to the waiting area and is relieved when you return only minutes after he’s sat down. 

“Well, as expected, she’s upset I didn’t call her but calmed down a little bit when I told her you’ve been here with me,” you catch him up, sitting down next to him again. “And she’s on her way. She wants us to go back to my place to get some sleep.” 

Immediately, he protests. “We can’t leave Callie.”

You open your mouth to mostly agree with him when you hear footsteps and feel your stomach flutter seeing Kai heading in your direction.

He gets straight to the point. “Surgery was successful. She’s gonna be fine.” There are no words to properly describe your relief. The past hour felt like the longest period of your life and to know that it wasn’t in vain is so utterly comforting. 

“Thank God,” you breathe, also standing up with Joe. “Thank you, Kai.” You briefly close your eyes, shaking your head and correcting yourself. “I’m sorry, uhh. Dr. Sawyer.” 

“Come on, Y/N. I’ll always just be Kai to you.” It’s said so innocently, and it’s also then you notice the wedding band on his left hand. But, Joe must be giving him a look, because he’s suddenly awkwardly clearing his throat. “Because she’s so young, I'd like to keep her a couple more days to monitor her.”

“Of course,” you agree. There’s no protest at your daughter having medical personnel surrounding her at all times following a surgical procedure. 

He nods and starts to walk away when you remember something, catching him and moving away from Joe to speak privately. 

“Ummm…..” you haven't a clue how to approach nor explain this but try your best. “Joe…..he’s just now in her life. She—she doesn’t even know he’s her dad. It’s….a long, complicated story, but we’re trying to keep everything private—”

He says your name, interrupting you, “ever heard of HIPAA? None of what happened tonight leaves this emergency room.” You nod, slightly assured. “And if it makes you feel any better, I’ll remind the nurses of that too.’

That gives you all of the relief. The last thing you want or need is this becoming fodder for the media. One of the many reasons you love your town is how off the grid it is with a lot of things. Most of them probably wouldn’t even recognize Joe, and the few who do would never dare speak of it outside of this same town, respecting that he’s still a human being. 

“Thank you, Kai. Seriously.” 

He offers you such a genuine smile and adds, “I’m glad I got to see you, Y/N. The circumstances weren’t the best, but I’m pleased to see you ended up happy.” He starts to walk backwards, adding with a slight smirk. “About time you moved on from the likes of Amir and Mariah.”

That throws you for a loop. You understand the part about Amir, but Mariah?

What did he mean by that?

You don’t really have time to think about it, because Joe is at your side, holding your hand and reminding you that you two need to get back in the room for Callie. That’s enough to put the confusion about what just occurred to the back burner. 

Thankfully, when they roll Callie back into her room, she’s still slightly out of it from the anesthesia. But when she comes to, she’s thrilled to see the both of you and announces in a small, proud voice, “I did it.”

It gives you another genuine laugh, and the two of you enjoy her, your brave, sweet little girl. 

As you expected, your mom enters the room, immediately going and comforting Callie. She gives you a little slap on your arm for not calling her, still upset about that. 

That’s also expected.

What isn’t entirely expected is your mom talking to Callie about why you and Joe need to go home for a little bit to rest because you’re tired too. She’s not entirely wrong, Now that you’re out of the flight of it all, you’re crashing and crashing hard. Even Joe looks tired. 

Surprisingly, your mom is able to get Callie to agree with this. It takes more convincing for Joe, but he also eventually relents. And instead of driving all the way to your place, you suggest you two just go to his hotel room which is closer to the hospital.

That’s an easy sell for him. 

Reaching the hotel, you convince Joe to shower first, as you have something you need to take care of. It takes some convincing, but he eventually agrees. Once you hear the shower running, you pull out your phone, surprised to see it hasn’t died and has enough, hopefully, for you to shoot out one more message. 

One you’ve been putting off, but desperately need, especially as of the last 24 to 48 hours. 

Alexis,

Hi. I know it’s been a couple of weeks since my last email, and I’m sorry. I would text you, but I have no idea where in the world you are right now or if you have reception. So, email it is. A lot….a lot has happened. Joe is back in the picture, and he knows about Callie. But, interestingly enough, that’s not an issue at all. He’s so good with her, and she already clearly loves him so much. We haven’t told her he’s her dad, but he plans to do it for Christmas. Callie also had to have emergency surgery last night. Her appendix. That was….a lot. She’s good now, made it out of surgery fine. Thank God. Also, Joe’s divorced. And he more or less told me he wants us to be together, and I don’t know how to feel about that. Sorry, this is all over the place. Joe and I have been up all night with Callie at the hospital, so my brain isn’t working. I just needed to send this now, because I keep forgetting, and I miss you and could really use some advice right now. I need my long distance best friend. 

Love,

Your favorite college roomie

You should probably reread your email before sending it, but that requires energy, and you’re literally operating on fumes. When Joe steps out of the bathroom, shirtless, you don’t even bat an eye, which is unlike you. You’ve always been insanely attracted to him, for obvious reasons. 

You just accept the shirt he offers, close the bathroom door, strip naked and step into the shower. So exhausted, you don’t even realize until halfway through you forgot to use the shower cap but thankfully only a little bit of your hair gets wet.

Not that it matters. Even washing yourself is such a task. 

You’re out of the shower as soon as you feel adequately clean, rid of hospital germs. You don’t even care that the shirt is the only thing covering your otherwise nude body, breast stretching against the cotton. 

It is what it is. 

Stepping out of the bathroom with your clothes tucked under your side, you settle on placing them on a nearby chair. Or maybe it’s a table. You’re not too sure nor do you care all that much. You just need to sleep. 

But, it’s also when you see he’s moving toward the sofa, you know you need something else. 

Someone.

“Joe.”

He turns around, and you move over to him, reaching for his hand. The tug is slight but enough to have him follow your guidance toward the bed where you switch positions so he falls on his back. Moving to the side of the mattress, you climb into the bed and turn on your side, back toward him. You don’t need to ask, because his strong arm is suddenly around you, pulling you into his hard chest.

Sighing in content, you allow his mouth to graze your temple as he pulls the blankets over the both of you.

Hand on his thick forearm that’s keeping you close against him, you murmur, “Callie comes first. We get her straight, make sure she’s okay.” You roll on your back, meeting his telling gaze. “Then we figure out us.”

Joe is staring down at you with an affection you hadn’t realized you missed so deeply until this moment. He doesn’t say anything, just nods in acknowledgment and caresses your cheek. Grateful and tired of so much thinking, you push your body against his, shifting with him as moves onto his back and keeps you close against him.

He doesn’t say anything, and neither do you, because none of that matters in that moment. You don’t need to think about anything, don’t want to think about anything, just want to be close to him, just be with the man you’re almost certain now that you never stopped loving. 

And also now wonder if he once felt the same, still feels the same. 

If he’s always felt the same way. 

[miercoooles]

Leclerc! Sister and her brothers definitely have sweet sibling evenings which ends with all four passed out and Pascale sending the pictures to their partners who then cue at them.

ya know, I haven’t answered your last ask because i’m procrastinating it, so I’ll give you this one

When you and your brothers were growing up, Pascale made sure to make it a habit that you have a family day every week. Meaning no matter how busy you are, whether it be school or work, you have to make a free time and spend it with the rest of the family. And let’s just say Pascale was successful in keeping that habit alive now that you are all adults.

It was early Tuesday morning when you, Charles, and Arthur arrived home in Monaco for a break since the race tired all of you out. Your significant other (any driver) couldn’t accompany you because he was needed back in their headquarters while Charles’ gf had her own errand. You quietly entered your home as you knew your mum and Lorenzo were sleeping. You kissed your younger brothers good night before retiring to your own bedroom.

Sighing softly as you closed your door, you leaned against it, taking soft and steady breaths as you knew what was gonna happen today. You loved family days, it was everything. You and your siblings bonding, chatting, spilling teas, even arguing about everything while Maman just watched is everything. But sometimes life could drain you especially when you had an awful race week. So freshening yourself up, you slid under the comfort of your duvet and snuggling on your pillow as you slowly drifted to slumber.

A few hours after, you were awakened by shouting and arguing downstairs which signalled you to get up already. You grumbled to yourself about your sleeping getting cut short before preparing yourself then heading out downstairs. Dragging your legs to the kitchen, you were greeted by Lorenzo and Charles fighting what they should make the four of you for breakfast, and being to tired to join them, you pushed past them and started cooking, doing it yourself.

The two started protesting until you raised one hand while the other cracked eggs into the pan. They both shut up and you mentally sighed in relief as you instructed them to fix the dining table and wake up Maman and Arthur. Both of them being to scared to argue, followed immediately.

Even though Lorenzo is the eldest out of the four of you, he was terrified of you, and you had never found out why. But honestly, it was funny to your side, watching your supposedly other brother scrambling and scared of you whenever you’re pissed or not in the mood.

Finishing what you were cooking, you served them on the dining table right on time as Maman and Arthur walked down the steps, Charles and Lorenzo following behavely behind them. Sitting down on your respective chairs with Pascale in the middle, you all said your prayers before digging in on your food. The first to speak up was Arthur complimenting your cooking while the two others stayed quiet.

Maman noticing something was up, she immediately brought it up and you started explaining what happened so early in the morning. Pascale only sighed, wondering to herself why the four of you always gets into a fight with each other when you all grew close and sweet to one another.

Maman stood up as she finished her food before announcing that she was going out. The four of you looked at her in disbelief before raising your concern how it was suppose to be family day today and that she should be here. But she was having none of it, shutting all of you down before going upstairs.

Completely shunned, you leaned on your backseat, your shoulders sagging, your three brothers doing completely the same clearly disappointed. All of you stayed in the same spot, not moving one inch as Maman bid you good bye, shutting the door behind her.

Minutes passed and none of you did anything as silence filled the whole house, until you felt your stomach grumble. So you sat back up and finished your meal before putting your plate in the sink and going to the living room, shouting behind you that the last one to finish their food will be the one responsible for washing all the plates and utensils used.

As soon as you finished what you were saying, you heard spoons and forks clinking with each other as the three started competing with each other other. Laughing to yourself, you reminded them to slow down and chew their food properly as you sat comfortably on the couch.

The two that came out of the dining room was Arthur and Lorenzo, meaning that the one left in the other room complaining was none other than your fellow middle sibling, Charles. You laughed to yourself as you switched the telly on while Arthur sat to your left and Lorenzo on the solo sofa. So when Charles finished his chore, he sat to your right, making you sandwiched between your two younger siblings.

Finally choosing something to watch, the four of you sat in silence as you focused on the film, sometimes making comments and starting a discussion about the movie. After the movie, the four of you decided to play the simulator competing with one another. You decided to call each other as you were in your respective rooms, playing on your own different set up. As you all played against each other, you accidentally hit Arthur’s rear and he got pissed that both of you started a discourse that heated up.

You and Arthur rarely had fights, but when you both did get into one, it was the worst that could happen. A lot of different things can be brought up when you both fought, so before it escalated, Lorenzo and Charles dropped their games and headed to each of your room, stopping both of you from talking.

Hours has passed by and it was almost sun down when you and Arthur calmed down and made peace with one another. That was when Lorenzo suggested, you all go to your secret hideout where all of you watched the sun as it set when you were younger.

Agreeing almost immediately, the four of you hiked for a while as you reached your secret spot. It was a small, abandoned building that was built in an elevated part of the country, high enough to look over the ocean. When you reached the highest floor, the four of you sat on the edge of the structure, you in the middle of Charles and Arthur again, while Lorenzo sat beside Arthur.

As the sun began meeting the ocean, you leaned on your head on Charles’ shoulder, reaching out for his hand and squeezing it in a sisterly, assuring kinda way. Charles gave you a soft smile as both of you had a silent connection being the middle child and all.

While watching the view, you all started talking about memories you all cherished, laughing and teasing one another as cringe memories were brought up. And when the sun finally disappeared against the horizon and the moon came out to brighten the dark sky, the four of you lie down on the roof, pointing at the stars and still reminiscing about your life as kids.

Lorenzo realising how late it was and how the three of you still have flights the next day, decided to wrap it up. You, Charles, and Arthur wanted to protest but you understood that your older brother, so you all followed him.

Arriving home, you immediately went straight to your bedroom and hopping on your bed as you quickly started dozing off. But it was shortly disturbed when Charles jumped on your bed too, followed by Arthur and Lorenzo. When you started whining about not having personal space, the three squeezed you more between the three of them.

When you figured out that you were not gonna have any space, you stayed quiet, enjoying the presence of your brothers as they huddled and provided you warmth. Slowly dozing to sleep, you whispered good night to your brothers. The three of them hearing your words made them smile as they said it back to you, kissing your cheeks before going to sleep too.

When Pascale came home and noticed the house was too quiet for her own liking, she started becoming suspicious like what if you all already dueled to death. So she immediately rushed in the house, but seeing it empty and dark and not covered in blood, it didn’t relieve her. So she went up the stairs and saw the Lorenzo, Charles, and Arthur’s room was empty, and she started worrying. But when she heard soft snores in your room, her chest started to loosen up as she realised what was happening.

Opening the doors softly, she was greeted by her children all sleeping snuggly, cuddling with one another. More like squeezing each other. Lorenzo slept at the edge of the bed, and Charles on the other side, while you were in the middle of them, and Arthur diagonally placed on top of all three of you. Pascale smiled to herself, thinking how her plan was a success.

Wanting to keep the memory, she took a snap of all of you, mentally taking note that she needs this printed out and framed. She kissed you and your brothers’ foreheads, fixing the blanket so it was covering all four of you, before turning off the lights.

But before she retired for the day, she opened her mobile phone and sent the photo on the groupchat she made with all of your significant others with a caption, “look at your Leclercs’ completely passed out.”

[hayanwulf]

Your Scent is An Oasis

Warnings: A/B/O, Heat/Rut Cycles, Referenced Torture, Captivity, Mention of Past Rape

There will be sequel, and things will get better. :)

---

“Stark.”

Tony didn’t have enough energy to respond, or even look the wizard’s way. He resorted to letting out a low groan in response.

“Are you in heat?”

No shit, Sherlock, he wanted to respond. God he really tried to. He thought that he might’ve been more successful had he not had an uncountable number of injuries all over his body, many of which still bled. His mind was a haze from all the pain, his heightened senses compounding onto it. He didn’t know how was he still conscious.

“Oh god,” That baritone voice whispered. There was some shuffling sounds as a presence crept closer to his body, smelling too strongly of blood to discern any other scents. Then, something touched his shoulder and he immediately flinched away, a small whimper escaping his lips even as he tried his hardest to control his reaction.

This was like Afghanistan all over again, just worse.

He’d been badly injured even then. He’d been pushed into a heat without the availability of suppressants. He’d been..

He’d been trapped. He’d felt helpless. He’d felt terrified as he had progressively lost more and more of his conscious thoughts to the haze of his heat.

He’d been.. violated.

Now he was once again so far away from home — trillions of miles — encaged aboard his greatest enemy’s spaceship with Strange, both of them being coerced into giving up the location of the Time Stone. There were no suppressants, because why would aliens care about those? Even the food they got was just barely enough to keep them alive.

And no one was going to come to their rescue.

He was trapped here. Trapped in this small grimy room with no escape & no tools, with an unknown Alpha. His entire body’s nerves screamed in pain, his throat felt parched, he was losing his sanity, barely at the edge of consciousness—

“Stark, let me help you.”

“No!” He somehow managed to yell out even though it hurt his throat, his body lurching further away from the Alpha that sat not two feet away. He looked up at Strange like a frightened animal, curling in on himself, bad memories of the past flooding his thoughts. He might have been shivering too. He wouldn’t know.

There is no escape.

“Stark..” The Alpha carefully raised his hands in surrender. “I just want to help. Your body will overload itself trying to compensate for both your injuries and your heat.”

No one will come for you.

Tony was vaguely aware that he was shaking his head in denial. It was futile. His conscious mind — was he even conscious anymore? — knew that there was nowhere to run, no way to prevent it. They were in a small room with no exit. If the Alpha wanted him, he’ll have him no matter how much Tony denied or thrashed or tried to fight back.

Contrary to his expectation, though, the Alpha did not pound on him, nor used his Voice, nor showed any sign of anger for Tony’s misbehavior. Did not even move from his place. He just.. sat there, the blue eyes carefully observing Tony.

“Stark.. Tony, I’m not going to do anything to you. I’ll just stay by your side and let you scent me. That’s all I will do, I swear. It will alleviate some of the pain and make you feel better. Let me help.”

Tony twitched a little in place, expecting a catch. Maybe it was a lie. Maybe it was some cruel, twisted kind of fake reprieve before the Alpha would pin him down and have his way with Tony, laughing maniacally at him for even considering for a second that he was going to be spared kindness.

Again, instead of doing any of that, the Alpha simply made himself comfortable where he sat on the floor, his eyes watching Tony. “Come to me?” The Alpha asked, extending a shaking hand.

Tony looked down at the hand and found it bathed in blood. His chest ached at the sight.

It cleared some of the haze of terror from Tony’s mind and he found himself looking back up at the sorcerer’s face.

There was blood still trickling down the cuts on his face. His robes which used to be dark blue once, now seemed to be a much darker shade with the blotches and stains of dried blood everywhere. He even smelled of copper, gone was that pleasant scent that Tony had caught that day in the Central Park. He still remembered it though. It had been like fresh tea leaves and rain and incense.

Just like himself, Strange was just a prisoner. Trapped. Injured. Suffering. Possibly starved.

Logic and common sense seemed to return to him, and he wanted to kick himself for reacting the way he had. He supposed, though, it didn’t matter. They had learned to let go of their walls and just.. be vulnerable around each other inside their cell. If they didn’t let it out here, they would break out there, during one of those sessions.

He took a second to take a few deep breaths, then nodded towards his companion, and started to shift himself closer to the sorcerer with whatever energy was left in his limbs. Once he was close enough, he allowed himself to fall on the Alpha’s body, who caught it, thought not without a grunt of pain.

Strange guided Tony’s head into his neck, and Tony sucked in a sharp breath when he smelled fresh tea leaves and rain through the overwhelming scent of copper. Only now was he also aware of the calming scents Strange had been trying to send to him. He weakly wrapped his arms around the Alpha, for the little help that they would do, and tried to bury his face into the neck. Something obstructed him, and he opened his eyes, frowning.

Oh, the collar.

The goddamn collar around Strange’s neck that blocked his magic.

Tony whimpered a little, trying to bury his face as much as he could on Strange’s neck, trying to inhale as much of that pleasant, calming scent as he could, trying to ignore the bite of metallic scent in the air. Strange wrapped his own weak arms around Tony’s body, both on them leaning onto each other.

In the end Tony couldn’t scent nearly enough, but what he could was still an oasis in the middle of a hot Afghan desert.

[tremblingmuse]

Nico, prompt 16, Angst Level 8

Context: Nico and reader get into a huge fight and she tries to run away from him, and immediately he runs after her, grabs her, and pulls her close and says prompt 16 gently into her ear

You have to try.

Hope this is was you envisioned! Can’t wait for you to start posting again btw!

“Nico, you have to do this.”

Y/n overheard Nico talking to his doctor. She didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but she did. He was offered lifesaving treatment and he turned it down. She asked him about it later.

“How’d you even find out? You spying on me?” He paced around the hospital room.

He shouldn’t be moving around, he’s growing weaker.

“Will you just please sit down?” She asked him.

He rolled his eyes and sat on the end of the bed with spite. “I wasn’t going to tell you.”

Y/n was hurt to say the least. He told her everything, well she thought he did.

“Why? Because I’d tell you to do it? Nico this could cure you!” She insisted.

He knew that. But what if it didn’t? He’d be back to square one. In and out of the hospital just like he’s been his whole life.

“I just want to enjoy the time I have left. I’m so sick of this!” He motioned to the room. To the hospital.

“No, I think you’re scared.” She could barely look at him.

He rolled his eyes. Of course he was scared. Who wouldn’t be? Going through another invasive treatment that might not get him anywhere? That might leave him worse off than he was before?

“I’m not scared! I’m tired of all the stupid treatments!” He lied.

She didn’t recognize him. This wasn’t the Nico she knew.

“So you’re not gonna at least try?”

“This isn’t your decision.” He reminded her with malice.

It wasn’t, she couldn’t tell him to anything. So she slung her bag over her shoulder and went for the door.

“Yeah, you’re right. Giving up is the best course of action here.” She quipped. “Wouldn’t have it any other way!” Y/n stormed out.

He didn’t mean to chase her off. He followed her.

“Y/n! Babe! Wait!” He ran down the hall. He found her as she rounded a corner.

“Go lay down, you shouldn’t be up.” She didn’t look back as she marched out the door.

It was a sweet sentiment. But her tone was laced with poison.

He couldn’t let her leave, it wasn’t right.

Nico desperately grabbed her wrist and pulled her to face him. She was forced to look into his tired eyes.

“Please don’t go.” He mumbled in her ear. His lip quivered.

“If you’re gonna decide to die, then I shouldn’t have to watch, Nico!” She pushed herself off of him with a a sob. “You’re saying you’re giving up! I can’t fucking let you!”

She took a few steps back. She wanted to gain a little distance. If y/n stayed in his arms for too long she’d give in, like she always does.

A boy so filled with sun, was going dim.

“I’m scared! Okay, I admit it, I’m terrified!” Nico walked closer. “Cause it never works! I’ve been sick my whole life!”

She shook her head.

“But it could work. You won’t even take the chance! That’s not the Nico I know, it’s not the boy I fell in love with!” She clutched her bag, pain oozed from every inch of skin, her eyes, her throat.

“It’s not gonna work.” He insisted.

“If it doesn’t work, then….” She took a sorrowful pause. “Then I-‘ll.” She was choking.

He waited for a response.

“I’ll sit with you, everyday.” She continued.

Tears fell onto his cheeks.

“And I won’t make you get better, I’ll just be there. I won’t talk about it, won’t tell you to get treatment.”

He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Y/n had been the thing keeping him going for so long. Telling him to take his meds, listen to his doctors, to rest, to eat. In many ways she kept him alive, in spite of the cancer. In spite of everything.

Y/n had read paper over paper his condition. To help him.

“But you have to try.” She finished, barely audible between sobs.

Nico thought about all the pain he’s been through. Then he realized how much pain he put her through. He was so absorbed in his own suffering he couldn’t see her’s.

“Okay.” His response was weak.

He gave in, now she could too.

Y/n threw herself at him, into the tightest hug he’s ever had. Her knees were so weak she considered falling to the ground.

“I’ll be there the whole time.” She promised as they wrapped their arms around each other.

“I love you, so much.” He said earnestly.

“I love you too.”

[bbangsuns]

don’t break my heart again | r.c

warnings: angst, slight nsfw themes, rafe is just a little ooc but not much, terrible writing, mentions of drug addiction and overdoses, ward cameron. i think that’s it?

a/n: part 2 to this fic. this won’t have a lot of smut, but if you guys want a 3rd part with just smut i’ll write one <3

a/n part 2: i’m not happy with this ending at all i might redo it soon 🧍🏽‍♀️also this isn’t beta’d so sorry if there are any mistakes

word count: 1.4k

after your talk at the chateau with the pogues, you made the decision to head to your brothers house for the first time in a few weeks, wanting to rest as much as possible before you talked to rafe.

you knew it would be difficult to sleep after everything that happened, but you never expected it to be damn near impossible. after tossing and turning in bed for what seemed like years with the big red ‘1:37 A.M.’ taunting you from your alarm, you decided to go for a walk on the beach to hopefully tire yourself out. climbing out of bed and putting on your shoes, you opened your window as carefully as possible, trying to not wake your older brother up and slipped out, extremely grateful for the fact that you lived in a one story house.

the walk to the beach was peaceful, the sounds of nature soothing your nerves almost instantly. arriving to the beach in 10 minutes, your eyes were immediately drawn to the figure sitting near the shore, your body tensing up once again. however as you moved closer, you were almost positive you knew exactly who it was, and your suspicions were confirmed as soon as you got close enough and spoke.

“rafe?” his head whipped around so fast you thought the poor boy would get whiplash. he went to stand but you stopped him with a hand on his shoulder, opting to sit down right next to him. you could feel his eyes on you and turned your head, and even in the low light you could see his bloodshot eyes and swollen lips, assuming he’s been picking and biting at them all day. you went to softly reprimand him for his bad habit, but he beat you to it.

“i’m so sorry, doll. you have no idea how much I regret saying those words to you. i was just so fucking frustrated after my fight with ward and i know you were just trying to help me feel better, and i know that’s no excuse but i wasn’t thinking.” he breathed out, his voice cracking at the last few words. staring at the broken boy in front of you, you couldn’t help but bring your hand up to his cheek, caressing it lightly. rafe’s eyes fluttered shut and his shoulders sagged slightly, leaning into your touch and you took this opportunity to speak.

“what you said really hurt me, rafe. it made me feel so small and belittled. now, i know you weren’t in the right state of mind because of ward and i tried not taking it so personally, but god hearing that from the person you love more than anything is something that shakes your core no matter how badly you wish it didn’t.” you said it with a voice so full of hurt that rafe felt a shiver go down his spine, hating that he was the cause of all the pain you’ve been feeling over the last few months. he went to open his mouth to speak again but you shook your head, signaling you weren’t finished so he closed his mouth, staring at you.

“i know you’ve been going through a lot with ward and the high expectations he has for you, but the way you’ve been coping has been hurting me and our relationship. every time you have a fight with ward and storm out of the house, i stay awake wondering when or if you’ll come home. and if you don’t come home, i imagine the worst scenario, asking myself if you got into an accident because you drove home high, or if you took it too far this time with the cocaine and you overdosed somewhere i wouldn’t be able to find you. it terrifies me beyond words, rafe, and i don’t know how much more i can take before it’s all too much.” by the end of your confession you were crying again, the tears spilling out of your eyes and your breathing becoming erratic. you removed your hand from rafe’s cheek, pressing your palms into your eyes harshly, attempting to keep the tears from falling anymore.

rafe didn’t know what to say, his heart breaking all over again at the sight of you crumbling in front of him. he felt his hands shaking, his own tears slipping out at the fact that he’d been neglecting you and making you sick with worry for so long. he truthfully hated himself for it, but he felt the desperation in him, the need to try and fix your relationship any way he could. wiping his face, he grabbed your hands and pulled them away from your eyes, using one hand to hold both of yours, his other one was now on your cheek, turning your face towards him. his thumb stroked the skin, wiping away the tears that continued falling.

“i’m sorry for never noticing how much you were hurting. i’m sorry for pushing you away when all you wanted to do was help me. i know i haven’t shown it for a while, but you’re truly the best thing that has ever happened to me and i’ll do anything to show you that. whatever you want, i’ll do it because i can’t stand to ever lose you.”

the way he spoke to you, the slight panic in his voice and watery eyes, you knew he was being genuine. but, there was a part of you that was still skeptical, scared that he wouldn’t be able to keep his word and he’d slip back into his addiction, and you don’t think you’d be able to handle that cycle again. rafe noticed your hesitation, his stomach sinking at the idea that you wouldn’t want to stay with him after what he’s put you through. as he went to say something else, you interrupted him.

“i want you to stop using drugs, rafe. if you can’t do it on your own, you can go to a rehab facility on the mainland and i’ll go with you, maybe find an apartment there or something. but i need you to do it, love. if not for me, do it for yourself. i wouldn’t be able to handle something happening to you all because of that shit you’re putting in your body.” you spoke with a certain determination, almost demanding that he stop chasing a high, and rafe wasn’t dumb. he knew that if he didn’t get his shit together, you wouldn’t stick around to watch him slowly kill himself, for fear it would kill you inside too. so, he agreed to quitting, not willing to risk seeing you walk away.

“i’ll do it. i’ll do whatever it takes to fix things between us, i just don’t wanna lose you.”

you looked at him, a small smile on your face knowing he would never truly lose you. you kept that thought to yourself as you leaned in, placing your lips on his to which he kissed back immediately, moving his hand to the back of your neck to keep you close. you broke the kiss only to seat yourself on his lap, and you connected your lips as soon as you sat down, wrapping your arms around his neck. biting your bottom lip, rafe took advantage of the small moan that left you and slid his tongue inside your mouth, taking control of the kiss. sliding your hands under his shirt, you tugged at it, wanting to remove it as fast as possible. he pulled away from your lips, quickly removing his shirt and attached his lips to your neck, nipping at the skin as he left a trail of wet kisses all the way to your collarbone. rafe moved you off his lap, laying you on the sand and hovering over you, one hand slipping under your shirt, his thumb and index finger grabbing your nipple and rolling it between them, causing a low whine to leave your lips.

“rafe, don’t mess with me. just make me feel good.” it came out as more of a whine, a small pout on your lips. after going so long with him not touching you, you just wanted to feel all of him, sand be damned; you’d deal with that annoying detail later. rafe just laughed at you softly, leaning back on his feet to look down at you.

“whatever you want, baby”

that night you didn’t leave the beach until almost dawn, not wanting to risk anyone seeing anything, but you both left feeling the happiest you’d ever been in a long time. pure ecstasy was flowing through your body knowing that you and rafe were going to be okay and that your relationship was going to be stronger than ever.

[agentplutonium]

Seraph leige and 1920s!Milo/SH pls!!

(talking about this game)

hehehe my two favourite wips (lying they're all my favourite)

OKAY SO Seraph Liege is a wip of mine for NeXus and the general concept is the idea that Liege is trying their hardest to reach their "final form" (A seraph, but like, severely fucked up cause they are NOT supposed to do that). They do this through the help of the Priest that they came across in their first audio. I will give a small snippet but I am unsure if this is ever gonna go anywhere outside of this. (CW: manipulation, I think, just to be safe)

“Get up, Darling. It’s time to go.” “Who are you?” Liege paused, turning back to look at the priest. The poor thing was huddled against the wall, nearly cowering from them. The priest was terrified. “Whatever do you mean?” “Do I know you?” Liege made their way back, stepping over their latest victim to do so, slowly and deliberately as if to not scare off a stray animal. They crouched when they were close enough, face soft. “Of course, you know me, Darling. You know me very well.” “I…” Liege frowned at the response, or better lack thereof. Good pets didn’t have thoughts that didn’t revolve around their master. And they certainly don’t think about themselves, especially in the presence of said master. They flooded Darling’s mind as Liege sat there with good memories—only some of them being fabricated this time. Ones where they were there for Darling, ones where Darling worshiped them, memories where Darling felt amazing, being praised for doing what Liege wanted. Anything to get back on track.  They didn’t have time for this, but you can only expect so much from a pet. Liege will have to stop training Darling until they get the desired results. “Do you remember now?” Liege asked, lips still turned down at the corners. “I wouldn’t want to overwhelm you after that blow to your head.” Darling shivered as Liege’s hand came up to caress the back of his head.  “Yes, my Liege.” “Good. Now, get up, pet. You’ve wasted my time.”

and and the 1920's fic my beloved. This was something that was inspired by the amazing @dizzy-n-busy who made this amazing art of Milo

here's the jist-- Criminal Milo met Investigator Sweetheart at a bar, they hit it off, Milo finds out that Sweetheart is an investigator. There's a bit of drama. Sweetheart shows up with the shade case. They get closer again. Sweetheart gets hurt. Milo runs into the shade, gets into a fight, kills it, gets in trouble with the law, and has to be interrogated. Sweetheart gets in there, helps Milo get out of there, and they meet at the end and decide to go on an official date. This fic is actually ongoing currently (Biting the Hand that Feeds on AO3) but here's a snippet from chapter 1 because I like it ^^

“Your friends are here,” Sneaks said, almost sounding disappointed. Or, maybe that was just Milo being hopeful. “I’ll go. I’m sure you want to be alone with them.” They moved to get up, but Milo’s hand shot out to stop them. He didn’t think about it until he felt the warmth of their wrist against his palm. Sweetheart also seemed to freeze at the contact, staring at their hands. “I want you to stay,” Milo said finally, letting go. Sneaks’ eyes shot up to his for a moment, capturing his attention immediately. “I wouldn’t want to intrude,” they said softly, almost hesitant to accept the invitation. “I insist,” Milo said. Sneaks was still looking at him, analyzing him. He felt like he was an open book to them, and he had no problem with that. If it meant that they looked at him like that then he is more than fine with it. “Okay,” they said quietly. “I’ll stay.” “Thank you.”

[justanotherfanfolks]

Twisted Wonderland Main Story Scattered Thoughts (Prologue Chapter 13-16)

So is this the one where they break the chandelier? The chaos music is playing. Is Deuce gonna throw Ace now?! Grim is such a menace to society. HOW DID HE EVEN GET UP THERE?! The way Deuce’s brain works amazes and amuses me. I need to summon something to hold onto something else and that I can move. Oh, I know! I’ll throw my classmate! Brillant Deucey, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Ace: Why are you aiming at me!? Deuce: Because I’m gonna throw you. Duh. God, they’re so stupid, I love them. Yuu’s just there bearing witness, and not really doing anything. He’s flying! Faith, trust, pixie dust Ace, you can do it! ABORT ABORT! I’m enjoying this too much! THE ZOOM ON DEUCE! I LOVE THIS GAME! Ace signing his will right here and now. Weeeee! I love that sound effect! AHA THERE IT IS, BROKEN CHANDELIER! Deuce really be doing a murdering Ace speedrun, first the cauldron and now this, Ace has a thick skull! Oh yeah, the landing, DEUCE! I saw the “-”, Crowley jumpscare? Oho, he’s scary. I called it, but oh! I’d be terrified if I was Ace, he killed the music. I am so shocked this kid did not get expelled. I mean this wasn’t really his fault entirely, but oh he is so lucky to have stayed at this school. HE MAD! Grim is giving such cat vibes right now, cat he is then! Hey Crowley, I’m sure Ortho’s done worse. OH THEY WERE EXPELLED! OH MY GOSH! They actually got expelled! Wow, was fixing the chandelier a deal they made? I didn’t know they had to bargain for that! Crowley no! Ah, poor Deuce. He was literally just vibing and got dragged into this. I mean he was being dumb, but he’s Deuce, it’s a charming kind of dumb, you can’t really get mad at him for it. He’ll pay for it? Child, you’re poor? Burns for eternity, huh, cool. Love to see it some time. Can I get more details about this legendary artificer? Oh no, IT’S AN HEIRLOOM! Since the school existed? Ooooo, that’s no good. Sorry guys, guess this is it for you. ONE BILLION?! I’ve only ever had a million, oh gosh-! Get ready to sell your souls, boys! What limits, I need details buddy. Magestone fetch quest? A magestone cannot easily be replaced, but there’s a whole cave of them, right? Heh, wouldn’t it be wild if that phrase foreshadowed something horrible down the line? No, Mama Deuce! Crowley just conveniently thought up the solution to the problem after saying it was a no go? Little sus there, sir. Umm… what do you mean no magestones? CAMP BARGAS, CROWLEY! It was literally a task! And yes I know it’s Vargas. Unless this is why they knew it was a possible task, then I’ll shut up. They had one night, ooo, the deadlines. Wee, teleportation! Wait, I just had a thought. Did- did they ever get those windows clean?

Yay, Twistune! Spoopy music. It also plays when we introduce the next oberblotter, right? Overblottee? Overblot… uh, do they have a name? Wait, does that mean the gems from Snow White are magestones?! Ink monster lurks there, Grim! Ace, that house looks abandoned. Hold on. I literally played Camp Bargas and I still just realized. Is this the ACTUAL Dwarf cottage from Snow White!? It’s the same layout, can it be? That’s so cool! 7 chairs, and Ace thought they were for kids. Oh yeah, this is it, folks! Ace, no trespassing, this is a historic site! “It’s pitch black!” then light a match. Your ears glow, aren’t you a walking lamp? Ghosts! First in ten years? Is this a translation thing or has it actually been 10 years? If so, throwing it onto the theory crafting pile. Twisty Tune time! Ah, the red/blue twistunes, this is where they came in! But it’s sideways… Pray for my brain. I was asking how a ghost could be out of breath and Grim immediately asked the same thing. Well, excuse me Ace for wondering about ghost lore! You know your Great Seven lore, let me have my ghost lore!

Battle. Battle… is this a ghost battle or the monster battle? I wonder why ghosts are so hostile. Oh no, the boys are fighting again. Ancient history Ace? That was like 1 or 2 hours ago or something. The finger pointing is astounding. I like the zooming and sliding, you can have so much fun with the visuals in this game! Is that…? “Neva…iv…ou”? Oh MY GOSH! Dang, what the heck? It’s wearing the same clothes… what is it anyway? It’s giving overblot creature, but I’m not sure what it is. Or why it’s obsessed with stones. Oh, now they’re in sync. Stones are real! Deuce is determined to stay at this school. Ace, uh, not so much I guess. Ace wants to live. Oop, battle time. Hm, is this turn, endurance, or unlimited? Endurance I guess. I’ve done these before. Oooo, pretty lantern! 12500. Mkay. That took one turn instead of half a turn, cool! I’m getting cocky, this isn’t good.

Hey, that’s the song from when someone’s gearing up to overblot! Drama music. DEUCE, NO! ACE! MY DUDES! Oh no, not Grim! Magestone! Oh thank goodness, I thought the Ramshackle Duo ditched Adeuce in that retreat. “I’d rather die than get expelled” buddy, no! Are we gonna get Deuce lore now? Gang Deuce. They way Ace and Grim talk a big game with their magic when they are literally beginners. Ah, there’s Yuu’s thing! Yelling. Nah, I’m just kidding. Yuu’s here to keep the peace. With some sass along the way. The magic of cooperation! Hey, teamwork isn’t a joke, Ace! Ay yo, Master Planner Yuu, just like the novel! Scared or Hungry, by Grim. Confident Yuu or Pray Yuu? Ugh, such a cliffhanger to leave off on! I really wanted to finish the prologue today, but I’m tired. I’ll finish it up first thing tomorrow!

[breatheinbitedown]

i’m getting my bug out bags organized. one for my car (best case scenario) and one for my room (fallback if i can’t get to my car).

for now i’m sleeping with my key fob hidden in a specific spot in my bed to give me easy access and to make it hard for someone to slip in at night and take my keys. it’s next to my knife, just in case. hopefully soon i’ll have a taser i can keep on me instead rather than only having my knife to rely on.

the plan is to save the zipper pocket boxers for sleeping. one pocket will be for my car fob in a case so i can’t set the alarm off in the middle of the night. the other pocket will have the key to my padlock in it. that way i can sleep with them on my person, even in my unventilated room in the bama summer heat. when it’s cooler i can go back to sleeping in street clothes and keeping things in my pockets.

today we installed a latch system on my bedroom door. i wish i could use it 24/7 but the potential consequences put me in a body bag so for now it’s only there for emergencies. it should hold him off long enough for me to drop out of the window and make it to my car (or far enough from the house that they don’t know where to start looking immediately).

the trunk and the padlock are exciting. i can keep my emergency shit (important documents, highly sentimental items), the shit my dad likes to steal (my medication, money, wallet), and my “mind your business” shit (sex toys, my vape and smoking shit, my journals), and my devices (laptop, switch, my second phone that i *should* have in a couple of weeks). if i need to bail out quick - not emergency bug out quick, but get the hell out of dodge and figure out the rest of my shit later quick.

for now i’ve been staying out of the house from the moment i wake up til 1-2am. now my partner and i use discord to video call from my laptop overnight while we sleep (or try to sleep) to deter my dad from making his way in here at night. they’re working on getting obs set up to screen record the whole call so it’s like security footage almost. i’m case something happens.

the big thing now is that i’m not a minor. i’m a fully grown adult and i have a lot more going for me when he does things. my word is just as powerful as his because i’m not a kid anymore. on top of that, i have more eyes on things now. my partner, my mother in law, and my aunt (who my parents respect and are mildly terrified of).

my bedroom is directly off of the kitchen. the lights in the kitchen always stay on. i have my mugs on a rack over my bedroom door. so when my door gets opened, my mugs clang loudly and the room gets flooded with light. it’s like it’s own alarm system. there’s a box fan i keep on directly in front of the door, so anyone who tries to walk in has to stop and move it out of the way. it gives me a second to get my bearings before i have to potentially fight him off.

only a few more months. i’ll be out for good this time. i’ll be on my own phone plan and i’ll have a new number they don’t know. i’ll have the car title in my name. i’ll get my own car insurance. i’ll have my own health insurance. all of the things they refused to let me off of so they could keep me dependent. im not asking this time. i will never have to see any of them again. so i won’t. im so close. i survived worse i can survive this.

[blu-joons]

Crisis Talks ~ Lee Minho

The blank expression on Minho’s face was something that you had gotten used to as you returned home from your day at work. You never expected him to jump up, but you didn’t get a word out of him as you walked through the house, taking a seat on the other sofa in the room, staring across at him in the hope that you’d get something.

The atmosphere in your home had been unsettling for some time, with Minho slipping away from you, with no explanation as to why. With such a tough day now behind you, all you wanted was to come home and be with Minho, but instead, you got nothing.

You couldn’t even pinpoint where the cracks started to show, not even knowing what the reason was behind your faltering relationship. Each time you tried to mention it, Minho shut down, slowly exhausting you every single day.

With your eyes still on Minho, you were hoping that he would look around, say something, anything. He was trying to push you to one side though, knowing that your stares had every intention of making him feel even more uncomfortable than he already did around you.

“Have you got something that you want to stay?” He eventually asked as he reached his limit.

“It’s just nice to hear your voice to be honest.”

Minho scoffed at your sarcastic reply, “if that’s how you want to be, then that’s fine, I don’t even know why I bother.”

“You don’t bother?” You immediately challenged, keeping your eyes on him, “I might as well not be in the room, or in this house, with the amount of effort that you make.”

You were hoping for civil, but as most things seemed to turn in your home currently, it quickly became hostile. The two of you suddenly found yourselves struggling to string a sentence together without having to have a bit of snap to it.

“You can’t even say anything, can you? You can’t tell me that I’m wrong,” you scolded.

A sigh came from Minho as his hand ran through his hair, knotting through strands. He didn’t know what to say, he didn’t have the answers that he knew you wanted, and worst of all, he was terrified that if he opened his mouth and spoke again, he would end up making things even worse than they already were.

Just like you, Minho didn’t know where it all went wrong. Each time you tried with him, he lost all enthusiasm, he couldn’t fight like you could, because he was exhausted, even though he knew that it was winding you up and pushing you further away.

“Minho, come on,” you sighed, still being left with nothing, “if this is how it’s going to be, then I really will walk out of the door. I’m not going to keep coming home to nights like this time and time again, I’m trying my best to give you something, but you’re not working with me.”

His eyes flickered across to you as you stood up from the sofa, “take one step forward, I dare you, I can bet that there is no way that you will walk out of the door right now.”

“Do you really want to see how serious I am Minho? Because I promise you’ll be the disappointed one.”

You moved slowly across the room, picking up your bag that you had thrown down when you arrived home. You began to pack a few things into it, before heading for underneath the stairs, pulling out one of the suitcases that you stored there.

As you did so, your eyes watched Minho, catching him keeping a close eye on you too. “Do you think I’m joking? Do you think what’s going on between us is funny to me?”

“I’ll believe it when I see it,” he coldly responded, folding his arms across his chest as you made your way upstairs to start packing your things up.

Minho still sat on the sofa in disbelief until he heard you come back down the stairs a few moments, clattering around from the weight of your case that was filled with as many of your belongings as possible.

As you reached the foot of the stairs, you pulled your keys out of your back pocket, finding your key to his place, beginning to unwind it from the chain until a hand swatted it away. “Don’t leave me. Stay here Y/N.”

“I thought you said that I wouldn’t do it?” You immediately challenged as Minho took the handle of your case too and pushed it across the room.

As he felt how heavy your case was, the weight on his shoulders pushed down too, knowing that what was happening was his fault. His hands shakily moved to hold onto yours, trying to pull you into his chest, but you stood your ground.

“I don’t want you to go,” he whispered with his voice wavering, trying his best to not let the tears that were threatening fall. “I know I’ve been a pain, and done plenty of things wrong, but I can’t let you walk out of the door when I love you.”

“Say that one more time,” you whispered in reply, “the last bit.”

“I love you,” Minho repeated.

Your eyes closed, you could hear his sincerity, but your heart was still all over the place. “If you love me, then what are you trying to do to me Minho? This isn’t fair, I’ve done nothing wrong to make you treat me like this.”

“I know that,” he acknowledged, pulling you a little further away from the door, “sorry just isn’t enough for it all.”

“What has been going on with you?” You asked him.

“I don’t know,” he admitted, hanging his head low in disappointment, “right now it feels like my spark has gone, you, my family, work, the boys, nothing seems to give me that boost that I need to be able to fight for anything Y/N.”

Your heart shattered as you heard Minho speak, recognising the pain straight away. You hadn’t seen how much he was struggling, just like how he had failed to reach out to you when all along that was what he needed to do.

“I wish you would have just told me that you weren’t feeling yourself,” you sighed, allowing your hand to loosely wrap around Minho’s. “For weeks you could have talked to me, stopped what’s been going on between us so that I could be there for you, if you’re feeling low, then you don’t have to be alone through it.”

“It’s not just that,” he responded, “work has been stressful too, we’ve constantly got new songs to release, new routines to learn, I don’t feel like I get a break. I feel bad for you Y/N, I don’t have the time to spend with you anymore, and sometimes I really wouldn’t blame you for actually walking through the door.”

“Isn’t that something for me to decide?” You asked him.

Minho’s head nodded as he brought his eyes up to look across at you, noticing the small smile that was on your face. “I wish that I could do more for you, you always do so much to look after me, I didn’t want this to add to what you already do, because for me, you already too much for me anyway.”

“I always want to help you,” you reminded me, “shutting me out is never going to give you a positive outcome Minho.”

“I know that now,” he frowned, “I always know that you’re there for me, but I just don’t ever want to be too much for you.”

Your head shook, “you’re never too much, especially when you’re having a hard time.”

“I’m sorry Y/N, just for everything.”

---

Masterlist

[casuallyimagining]

Fix You (1)

hybrid!Min Yoongi x female!reader

Summary: When you take in a stray cat, you have no idea he’s secretly a hybrid trying to escape his past. Can you help him heal?  Genre: hurt/comfort, angst, slow burn, fluff Word Count: 3,660 Rating: M Warnings (may not appear in every part): minor character is a dick to animals, mentions of a gun, main character injury (non-serious), discussion of physical abuse, emotional abuse, discussion of sexual abuse, discussion of self-harm

Notes: This is for the March project for @thebtswritersclub. The prompt word was ‘adventure’ and I mean, what’s more of an adventure than adopting a pet? Banner by @birbdae; thanks to @voiceswithoutlips, @taetaesbaebaepsae​, @hoebii​ and @aroseforyoongi for editing various parts of this for me.

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“That cat got into Rick’s chickens again. Killed a couple chicks. He said he’s going to kill it if he sees it on his property.”

Your dad had said it nonchalantly, barely glancing over his newspaper. Without a second thought, you were out the door. There was no way to be sure, not really, but the sinking feeling in your stomach made you run a little faster down your parents’ driveway.

You could have sworn you saw that cat slinking under Rick’s fence on your walk earlier.

Rick’s property neighbored that of your parents, but you wouldn’t necessarily consider him their neighbor. If you stood on their front porch, you could just barely make out Rick’s house through the stand of trees that served as the property line. Your parents had chosen to let their piece of the world be natural, carving out just enough space for a house and a decent sized yard all those years ago. It had made for some great childhood adventures in the woods: pretending fairies were real, living out your childhood fantasies of being some sort of wizard, making friends with the trees--normal kid stuff.

Rick, on the other hand, had turned his land into farmland, even though he neither farmed nor cared for the land. The vast rolling fields of Rick’s “farm” were mostly bare. He had a pond in one corner on the other side of the property, and he had a small cabin for hunting when game season started. Mostly, though, Rick raised chickens. Annoying things, the chickens were, not unlike Rick himself. It wasn’t uncommon to hear the hens’ incessant clucking from your parents’ house, and the roosters never seemed to shut up.

When you moved to the city to attend college, you were elated to get away from the chickens.

According to your dad, the cat had showed up in the woods a few weeks ago, and it had made an enemy out of Rick almost immediately. The poor thing was skinny--too skinny, like it had been living on the streets for a while--and though its dark fur was ruddy and matted, you could tell it would be a beautiful onyx if taken care of.

As you got closer to Rick’s farm, you heard barking and a sharp yowl, and you hurried in the direction of the sounds, afraid of what you’d find. Rounding the corner of the chicken coop, you gasped in horror.

Rick stood with his back to you, shotgun in his hands. His dog, an old bird hound with caramel spotted fur, had the cat clutched in his mouth, the dog’s teeth sunk directly into the cat’s shoulder. The cat, to its credit, had puffed itself up greatly, its tail nearly double its normal size. It was growling and hissing, and, despite the pain it was almost certainly in, was swiping at the dog with its front claws.

“Call your dog off, Rick.” Your voice was steadier than you thought it would be. You were out of breath from the run over there, and being anywhere near Rick with a gun and his snarling dog made you a little uneasy.

“Fuck off.” The man barely turned his head to you. “Damn cat’s been a pain in my ass since someone dumped it here. It killed four of my chicks.”

“Look at it. Of course it’s going after your chickens. You don’t keep them in their coop. It’s starving.”

“Damn thing should stay at your soft-ass parents’ house if it wants handouts.” Rick cocked his gun, pointing it at the cat. The cat’s copper eyes flashed to Rick at the sound. It looked terrified.

The fact that it knew what a gun was and knew to be afraid of it broke your heart a little bit.

“Call off the dog,” you said again, taking a step toward him, hands splayed out in front of you placatingly. “Calm down. I’ll get the cat out of your hair, and you won’t have to worry about it again.”

“Ain’t going to replace my chickens.” Rick’s voice was gruff, but he lowered the gun.

“I’ll pay for your chickens. Just call off your dog.”

He stared at the cat, the gun clutched in his hands but no longer pointing it at anything. For a second, you thought he was going to sicc the dog on the poor thing just to spite you and make a point. You had a feeling he was the type of person to do that. But after a tense stare down, he whistled through his teeth.

“Drop it,” he commanded the dog. The dog looked to its owner, and he repeated the command. It took a second, but the dog released its bite, and the cat slumped to the ground. Rick regarded the cat with a sneer before turning to you. “Take care of that thing. If I see it on my property one more time, it won’t be so lucky.”

You nodded tensely, and he whistled again. The dog trotted over to Rick’s side and the two walked off. You stared after him for a moment. A pained yowl drew your attention back to the cat.

The cat looked angry, and you didn’t blame it. Its tail was still puffed up, and you could tell that if it hadn’t just been attacked by a dog, its hackles would be straight up. Its copper eyes glared at you, its ears flat against its head. You approached cautiously, and it growled deeply in its throat.

“Hey, it’s okay,” you soothed, crouching down to make yourself less threatening. “I’m going to get you help. Is that okay?”

The cat hissed at you and attempted to back away. It made two limping steps before collapsing into the mud around the coop.

“That’s alright. It’s okay.” You sighed, unsure of your next steps. You didn’t want to traumatize the cat by coming any closer, and you really didn’t want to risk injuring it further by picking it up and having it fight you.

You looked at the cat, blinking slowly when you accidentally made eye contact with it. You had read somewhere that blinking was a way to show a cat that you weren’t a threat, and though you felt kind of silly, at this point, you were willing to try anything.

“What am I going to do with you, kitty?” you questioned, sitting down in the mud. The cat looked at you curiously, as if asking what the fuck you were doing. “I don’t want Rick to hurt you,” you confessed. “I’d like to take you somewhere safe.”

Truthfully, that was part of the reason why you were even visiting your parents. Your mom had told you about the cat, and how it didn’t seem to be wearing any collar, and while you were visiting them you wanted to try to trap it, either to bring it to live with you, or to take it to a nice shelter where it could get a good meal and hopefully find a nice family.

“Can I take you to the vet, at least?” You really were desperate, talking to the cat as if it understood what you were saying. The cat, to its credit, looked at you, copper eyes staring into your face before it blinked, just once, slowly and deliberately.

When you reached out to it, it didn’t growl.

You stood and approached the cat, doing your best not to make any sudden moves. You scooped it up gently, careful not to jostle his left shoulder too much, and cradled it close to your chest.

The walk back to your parents’ house was slow, but the trip to the vet was even slower.

It was a weekend, so the vet in your parents’ sleepy little suburb was closed. You had no choice but to pack your bags back up and make the trek home to the city to take the cat to the 24/7 emergency veterinary hospital.

You tapped your hand on the steering wheel. Traffic wasn’t usually this terrible on a weekend, but there was some sort of sporting event happening, so of course, all the roads into the city were clogged.

Stopped at a red light, you spared a glance toward your passenger seat. The cat laid on his side--it was a him, your mother had confirmed--his breathing labored. You could tell he was still on edge. His tail was still puffed up like a cat-of-nine-tails, and he kept eyeing you warily. But he had let you wrap him in a blanket and carry him to your car, and he had stayed on the seat, almost like he knew it was the safest place for him.

“Almost there, kitty,” you mumbled, changing lanes, finally free of the congestion. “Hang on just a little longer.”

Thankfully, the vet wasn’t busy, and you were able to get in with the assistant almost right away. You explained everything that had happened to her as she examined the cat, tutting slightly as she checked his shoulder.

“There are some punctures, but nothing that’s too worrying. I can bandage it and give you some antibiotics.” The assistant pulled her hand back as the cat swatted at her for touching his shoulder a little too forcefully. “Do you know if he has an owner? It would be helpful to know his shot records.”

You shook your head. “He just showed up in the woods one day.”

“We’ll get him a full round of vaccines, then, too.” Copper eyes met yours, and for a second, you thought you saw a look of concern cross them. But then he blinked, and it was gone.

The vet ordered an MRI, and thankfully, because it was a large veterinary hospital connected with the local university, they were able to do it the same day. So you ended up staying at the vet for two hours as they anesthetized the cat and did the scan. While the cat was waking up, the vet called you into the exam room.

“We checked for a microchip, and there was none,” the vet--Dr. Jung--informed you, his brow furrowed. “Based on the cat’s malnutrition and the condition of the coat, it’s likely he was a stray for at least a few months.” You nodded. The poor cat. “We should have the MRI results soon. I’ll give you a call in a few hours once I get a chance to read them. Normally, since he’s a stray, we would contact our foster network to see if anyone would be able to take him in. But since you brought him in-”

“I’ll keep him,” you said quickly. You were planning on it anyway. Just because he was hurt didn’t mean you were willing to give him up.

“Good.” Dr. Jung smiled at you. “My assistant is wrapping his shoulder now, and we’d like to just monitor him for a few more minutes to make sure he’s coming out of the anesthesia well, but you should be clear to take him home after that.” He placed a box on the table between you. “This is Clavamox. One millilitre twice a day for seven days. I don’t think he’ll develop an infection, but since he was so dirty, I think it’s probably better to be safe.” You nodded and pocketed the box. “We also gave him a rabies shot while he was here. It’s standard because he was bitten. If you notice any symptoms, please call us immediately. Once he’s feeling better, we can get him the rest of the vaccines he needs.”

You nodded. This was a lot all at once. And you didn’t even know what you wanted to call the cat yet.

Dr. Jung seemed to be able to tell you were feeling overwhelmed, because he offered you a comforting smile and patted your shoulder. “I’m going to go check on him. You can come if you want.”

As soon as you entered the room, groggy copper eyes were on you. The poor thing looked stoned out of his mind, but there was recognition there, and that gave you some comfort. At least he wasn’t glaring at you anymore. Dr. Jung’s assistant had wrapped his shoulder, so he had a bandage from his upper left front leg wrapped all the way around his chest and up around his shoulders.

“What are we going to do with you, kitty?” you questioned softly, reaching out and gently placing your hand on his head.

After checking the cat’s vitals one last time, Dr. Jung let you leave.

He was limp in your arms as you carried him into your apartment, still a little drugged up from the anesthesia. The whole way back to your apartment, he had sat in the passenger seat and looked out the window like a drunk, moody college student.

“It’s up to you if you want to stay, kitty,” you told him, gently laying him down on your couch as soon as you kicked your shoes off. Of course you wanted to keep him. You had grown attached to him in the few hours you had been with him. But if he was miserable, you were willing to help him find somewhere that was more suited for his needs.

He tried to stand, succeeding only long enough to give a dramatic wobble before collapsing back into the overstuffed cushion. While he was completely recovered from the anesthesia, Dr. Jung had warned you that the cat might be feeling the side effects for a day or so. You reached out to pet him, but his copper eyes slanted into a glare, and you pulled back.

Assuming the cat was hungry, you left him alone and headed into the kitchen. You had some chicken in the fridge, and you thought maybe he would enjoy some fresh meat he didn’t have to steal. You weren’t sure when his last real meal was, so you wanted to go easy on his digestive system until you knew he was feeling better. You’d have to stop and get cat food at some point, but for now, chicken would do.

You did your best to trim off all the fat from the chicken breast. You knew he wouldn’t mind eating it--cats ate weirder things from fresh kills, after all--but you figured with how thin he was, lean meat would probably be better. Carefully, you cut it up into small, easy-to-chew chunks and put some on a plate, wrapping the rest and putting it into the fridge for later. You used a dropper to evenly spread the required dose of the antibiotics onto the chicken in hopes that it would make it easier to give him the medicine.

Returning to the living room, you noticed that the cat hadn’t moved aside from doing his best to curl up as small as possible in the corner of the couch. You tried not to make eye contact with him as you pulled the blanket from the back of the couch and draped it on the cushions. You weren’t particularly keen on having raw chicken all over your furniture, but you sat the plate on the blanket anyway. There was no way you trusted the cat to be able to jump down off your couch at this point.

“Here’s some chicken, kitty.” You gestured toward the plate, and he eyed it warily, unmoving. You supposed he would feel more comfortable eating if you weren’t in the room. “Don’t leave it too long--it’ll go bad. I have to go do some work. I’ll be in my office if you need me. It’s just down the hall.”  As you stood up, you paused. You were talking to a cat. You were talking to a cat as if it could understand exactly what you were saying.

Maybe your parents were right. Maybe you had been living alone for too long.

Your mother had suggested you get a hybrid when you first moved to the city--a nice, loyal, protective one, like a German shepherd hybrid or a golden retriever--but you had never gone further than passively looking.

You were happy for the hybrids. A majority of them were still owned, but they could move about their lives freely and without question. It was illegal to treat them as servants, and all ownership had to be consensual, though you weren’t sure how well those rules were enforced. You didn’t really understand how someone could just own a hybrid--they were people, after all, even if their DNA was a little altered. It was weird to you, owning another sentient being like that.

Their lives were certainly much better than they had been. Some hybrids were naturally occurring, but others--a majority of them--had been created by rich and powerful individuals and the government in secret during some shady human experiments in the early 20th century. And, of course, because they were experiments, it created a whole host of problems regarding rights and discrimination.

But despite all the improvements, there was still a long way to go. There was nothing wrong with owning a hybrid if it was consensual, but that didn’t mean you were necessarily comfortable with it.

After a few hours of sitting at your desk working on your most recent graphic design project for work, you turned away and stretched. If you had to stare at the color chartreuse for ten more minutes, you thought you would go blind. It was time to check on the cat anyway, and you wanted to make sure you threw away any chicken that was left on the plate you had given him so he wouldn’t get sick.

When you entered the living room, you were immediately confused. The cat was gone, but so was your blanket. The plate was still on the couch, almost exactly where you left it, but it was entirely empty. Wonderful. You had taken in some sort of Houdini cat.

You grabbed the plate and put it in the sink, trying to look for your blanket as you went. You found it when you returned to the living room, the corner sticking out from under your TV stand. There was just enough space between the bottom shelf and the floor for the cat to fit under, and apparently he had taken the blanket with him. You couldn’t really blame him--it was April, and it was late evening, and your floors were still a little chilly.

“Hey kitty?” you called, bending down to see if you could see him under the shelf. You had thought about it while working, and at this point, you were just going to lean into the whole ‘talking to the cat like he’s a person’ thing. “It’s starting to get late. I’m going to go get ready for bed, okay?” You could just barely see his copper eyes hidden all the way under the TV stand. His pupils were blown wide to capture all the ambient light they could. “You can explore or whatever you’re comfortable with tonight, but please don’t ruin my stuff. Please be a good kitty.”

He blinked once and continued to stare blankly at you.

“Okay, well… if I don’t see you, goodnight.”

You stood and headed off to your bathroom to start your nightly routine. It only took you about a half an hour, but you were soon laying down in bed with your book. You had started it a few days ago, but you were hooked, and you were already almost done with it. The author had managed to somehow insert a space alien robot into today’s modern digital age, and you found it fascinating. You would never look at social media and influencers the same way after reading this book.

It was cozy in your room with the little bedside lamp on, snuggled up in your blankets. Your bed was soft--it was one of those that you could change it using a remote to fit your mood and preference, but you almost always preferred it soft--and you had plenty of blankets and pillows to make it comfortable.

You only had a few pages left when you noticed it, the shadow lingering in the hallway, slowly getting closer to your open bedroom door. It started out against the wall across the hall. When you next looked up after glancing down to your book, the shadow had moved to your doorway. He even had turned his head away like he was pretending it was a coincidence that he had ended up in your room.

He was walking with a slight limp, which was unsurprising given the bandage and the fact that he was attacked not even 12 hours before. He was much more lucid than he was when you first brought him home, though you could tell he was still a little groggy. You didn’t say anything to him--you figured if you did, he would bolt, so you let him do what he wanted.

After a few minutes--maybe 15 or 20--you closed your book quietly, careful not to startle the cat. You glanced at the doorway and didn’t see him, so you put your book on your nightstand and turned off the light. It took you a second, but you snuggled down into the blankets, pulling them tightly around you. You were just about to drift off when you felt it.

Something landed gently on your bed by your feet. It paused for a moment before slowly making its way up the bed to your head, its gait uneven. When it got to the other pillow, it laid down. You risked opening an eye then, and were met with copper eyes staring back at you.

He watched you warily, as if waiting for you to yell or kick him off the bed. When you didn’t, his eyes narrowed, and he slowly allowed himself to lay down, his head on his paws, curled up as best as he could be.

You fell asleep to the sound of him snoring lightly.

As always, your feedback is appreciated. Feel free to pop into my ask box with questions or thoughts about the series. I’d love to hear from you!

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[angry-geese]

Hello. I found your last post by Sukuna very nicely written. Can I make a request for this? S/o didn't feel very good there. Would you write a scenario where s/o has a very bad cold?

of course anon! here you go <3

Oddity - Sukuna x Reader

Warnings: none! mention of illness but its just a cold. sukuna being dramatic as usual. sfw. gn!reader

a/n: This one is quite a bit more light-hearted than the last. I went with true form Sukuna because i'm absolutely feral for monstrous men being soft for their s/o's

Word Count: 1.4k

Your arms stretch out only to find the other side of the bed cold.

The previous night hardly brought any rest. You awake exhausted, and with a headache, and you'd very much like to stay in bed, but the dryness in your throat makes you stir. Your throat hurts, talking is a chore. You have a cough that doesn't want to go away. It's interrupting your sleep, making you irritable.

Sukuna is the first to figure out something's wrong.

He doesn't need sleep the same way humans do, but when he lays next to you, he dreams for the first time in centuries. There's something oddly human about waking up next to you. He lost his humanity long ago. The man is a monster. But when he’s next to you, slivers of his old self shine through. His feelings on that are conflicted. He wasn't very good when he was human, but all humans have their similarities. All humans dream. That's part of what makes them human. His feelings about that are conflicted. Not all dreams are good. And Sukuna finds himself irritated that he can't control them.

When he has the time, he stays until you wake up. He has all the time in the world to do what he wants. You don't. So when you sleep, he only wants to be by your side. This morning was a special case. Someone demanded the King of Curses’ attention. He’s not sure what could be more important than him spending his morning with you, his beloved pet, but it required him to leave.

He’s far from sentimental. But you’ve grown on him. Though he can't stand most humans, the things you do interests him. He makes note of each and every one of your small habits.

You go about your morning like usual. Aside from overall feeling awful, you think nothing of it. It's not bad enough that you can't ignore it. Your first instinct is to say it's allergies. You’re not sure what's around here that causes them, but it's the first to come to mind. There’s not a whole lot you can do about them. At best you can wait them out. They were never that bad anyway. Your lack of sleep has left you tired, and short tempered. He blames it on the fragility of humans. Sukuna, in turn, has managed to piss you off first thing in the morning.

He leaves you alone for a good part of the morning. He finds himself irritable, his mood souring. Your bad mood only makes his worse. Any servants that bother him are quickly dismissed. Word spreads to leave him be.

When you only get worse, he gets worried. It's times like these that Sukuna realizes he doesn't know a whole lot about how humans work. Unless he’s causing it, illnesses all but slip his mind. He knows how to cause harm, but fixing it is a different story. Though he's normally calm and collected, his mind immediately goes to the worst. To him, you're dying.

Never in his life could he imagine himself getting so worked up over a human. He curses himself for it. Humans are fragile creatures. Their life is fleeting. Death is a silent, constant companion, walking hand in hand with life itself.

You’ve gone back to bed when he returns to your shared room. The curtains have been drawn tight, not allowing any light to pass in. Bright light makes your head hurt. You’re content with staying in bed until late into the day. If that's what you want, he can't see himself arguing with you.

The mattress dips under his weight as he sits. You grumble something, still half asleep. His hand smooths across your back. He’s not sure what he wants, but some part of him has to touch you. His nails are getting long, and feel nice against your back. Your pride wants you to tell him to piss off, but him scratching your back feels too nice.

He doesn't remember you getting injured. You show no sign of injury, so that’s quickly ruled out. At first he thinks you’ve been poisoned. You have not. Nobody in their right mind would poison you, mostly out of fear of Sukuna’s wrath. Their fear of him transfers over into a fear of you. Not that you’re as frightening as the king of curses himself, but out of fear of what he would do after.

"You're hurt." He says.

"It's a cold," you say, "I'll live."

You aren't noticeably warmer, but you are feverish. The back of his hand presses to your forehead. He's not sure what he's looking for, but he's seen this done before by mothers consoling their sick children. When humans get sick, they warm up. He knows that. He wants to call for Uraume. The man knows more about humans than he does- he is one. If he asks you, you’ll only say you’re fine, and wave him off.

"I'm alright," you say, "it's just something I've got to wait out."

He thinks he understands. Outward his only emotion is indifference. His mood does improve. You’re not dying. There's that. Even after being reassured you’ll be alright, he’s still worried. He knows humans are fragile. But they’re also rather persistent.

You audibly protest when he pulls away.

“I thought you wanted me to go away.” He says, following this with a dark laugh.

“I do!”

“Then why are you trying so hard to make me stay?” He asks.

As you try to stand, he moves, preventing you from doing so. Frustrated with him, you try to shove him aside. You do nothing to him. Even in a non-weakened state, he’s much stronger than you. Fighting against him is futile, but you do so to preserve your pride. You can't give up without putting up some sort of a fight. His chest presses against yours, your smaller body is caged in his arms. He litters your neck with wet, open mouth kisses. His lips are soft, and tickle your skin, sending you into a giggling fit. A coughing fit wracks your body, making you double over. You let out a squeak as he pulls you into his arms, cradling your body against his chest. Your arms loop around his neck. He runs warm naturally, you’re rather glad to steal his body heat.

“Do I have to hold you down?” He asks. “Or are you going to stay put and let me take care of you?”

You nod, too tired to put up much more of a fight. Your stubbornness, however irritating at times, was endearing to him. He pulls the blankets up around you, tucking them under your chin.

Sukuna slips out of the room, leaving the door open. He doesn't plan on being gone long. The hall is well-lit, albeit unusually quiet. A moment later he returns with tea, mixed with lots of honey. If you need it, he’ll have a servant fetch you medicine. You don't seem to be at that point yet.

When he returns, you’re still in the same spot. You sit up once you see him. He sits, opening his arms. Instinctively you go into them. He’s dragging you into his lap as if you weigh nothing. To him you don't. It's both impressive and terrifying. Your body feels so small and arm against his, he can't help but huddle closer to you, trying to leech off of your warmth.

He holds the cup up to your lips. It's warm against your already feverish skin. Your hands wrap around his, and the cup, as you drink greedily. The warmth of the drink leaves you feeling sleepy, the honey helps with your sore throat. He sets the cup down on the bedside table with a thunk. Steam coils off the surface of the tea.

The intimacy of the moment does not go over his head. It's far too early for him to go to bed, but since you insist, he can't find it in himself to refuse. His hand cups your cheeks as he leans down to kiss your forehead.

His arms wrap around you, pulling you flush to his chest. Your head leans against the crook of his neck. Your fingers idly trace along his tattoos. He pulls the blankets up around you, tucking them around your shoulders.

It's still early in the day, but in his arms, your head resting against his chest, you find yourself slowly drifting off to sleep.

You’re feeling better already.

[darkmulti]

(Yandere and non con warning)

Def not the only one who wants a 18th century h.c of possessive and controlling, husband!Jungkook x forced wife!reader. Jungkook gets jealous after witnessing another man asking you out and when you come back home at night, he breeds you. Please make it rough and non con. Thank you❤️‍🔥

-> you’re definitely not the only one. I can assure you that I’ve thought about this too many times😫

⚠️: NON CON, YANDERE!JUNGKOOK, Squirting/piss play, Physically, mental and emotional abuse, spit play,

-> sorry for any mistakes

Your parents owned a local bakery store

All the recipes were from your late grandmother

You spent almost all of your time there because you were in charge of everything

The store was under your parents’ name but you were the one running it

Sometimes, you even slept there because it’d be too late to walk home

Your dedication to the bakery made it successful

Although, you were the one doing all the work, you parents took all the credit and money

They weren’t paying you because you’re their child

They don’t need to pay you

“It’s a women’s place.” Your father said

You wanted to go back to school however, your parents laughed in your face

“School aren’t for girls, Y/N. Learn how to cook and clean. That’s all you need to know. Let the men handle everything else.”

You were tired of fighting with them and eventually stopped because they threatened to set you up in an arrange marriage

Now, it was just you and the bakery

You had many loyal customers and recently, one has been coming everyday, at the same time

He’d always buy a loaf of banana bread and if he was in a good mood, a blueberry muffin as well

Then, he’d sit in the corner table and eat two - three slices before getting up and leaving

He’d always leave a tip behind and you always kept it for yourself

One day, he didn’t come and you were surprised

For a year straight, he came and bought the same two things

Now, he hasn’t visited in 4 days

Tonight, you came back home for the first time in a while

Your parents had visited the bakery to collect “their” earnings and told you that you have to go somewhere with them that evening

After closing up and cleaning up, you went home and got ready

Your parents were taking you out for dinner as a treat for all your hard work

You were really excited because they were finally acknowledging your hard work

Once you arrived at the restaurant, your parents lead you to a table that already had three people seated

You immediately recognize one of them

It’s that guy who buys your banana loaf!

You sat in front of him while your parents greeted the two other strangers

“Oh, so this is your daughter? She’s gorgeous! Come here and give me a hug.”

You awkwardly chuckled and got up to hug the middle aged women

“Oh! Where are my manners? My name is Jeon F/N, this is my husband, Jeon F/N and this is our son, Jeon Jungkook. We’re your soon to be in laws!”

You heart dropped to the floor

“I-in laws?” You asked, confused

“Yeah, honey. Is this your first time hearing about this? We’ve been talking to your parents for a while now.”

You snapped your head towards you parents and they looked emotionless

“No, no they didn’t tell me anything.”

Dinner with them was hell

Your parents were talking about your wedding arrangements right in front of you

You didn’t know what to do

You wanted to rebel but then your parents would disown you

Just like that, you’d be homeless with little money to survive

In the end, you’d be paying the heavy price

You looked at Jungkook who was staring at you the whole time

You wondered if he knew about this

Maybe, that’s why he came to the bakery everyday

“Did you know anything about this?” You said loud enough for him to hear

“I did.”

“For how long?”

“Since last year.”

You eyes widen, in shock

You were right!

“Why didn’t you stop it?”

“Why would I stop it when I’m the one who wants it?”

You scrunch your eyebrows, in confusion

“What’re you talking about?”

“Since the first day I met you, I wanted to marry you. I told my parents and now, we’re getting married.”

Now, you were mad

You got up and stormed off, catching everyone’s attention

You walked to the bakery and locked yourself in

Here, you thought your parents were acknowledging you for first time, when they were actually setting you up for a marriage so they don’t have to take care of you

You cried yourself to sleep that night

The next couple of weeks, the bakery was closed due to your wedding

The wedding was spectacular

You would’ve love it if you weren’t being forced into a marriage

After the wedding, Jungkook took your precious virginity

He made sure to pleasure you until you passed out

He was so in love with you

Now, he was finally able to show you how much he loved you

And mark you as his

The next couple of months, he was attached to you

He took over his family’s business and you took over your family’s business

He’d visit you every day at work to check if you’re with another man

He was so paranoid about it, sometimes he’d come by 3 or 4 times to make sure you were not cheating

You thought he missed you and that’s why he kept stopping by (which is half true) however, you had no idea that he was possessive and controlling

You had to learn the hard way

Sometimes, you wouldn’t leave work until midnight

You had so much things to do like preparing for the next day, making a to-do list, making a grocery lists, and cleaning every area of the shop

It’s time consuming, so obviously you finish up pretty late

Jungkook absolutely hates that

Although you stay late in the shop once in a while, he can’t stand it

He wants you to be in his arms every night

Jungkook gets angry when you’re not

This was your fourth time staying out late in the shop and he’s had enough

He couldn’t help but feel paranoid about what you were actually doing in the shop

What if you lied and went on a date with another man?

What if you were running away from him?

Or even worse, what if you were having sex with another guy?

He raced to the bakery and banged on the door, which scared you

You saw that it was him and let him in

“W-what’s wrong?! You scared me!”

“Grab your stuff, we’re going home.”

“But I’m not done yet! I only have a couple more things to do and then I’ll come home. I told you already-”

“I don’t think you fucking heard me!” He yelled and grabbed your hair

“Grab your shit, we are leaving right now.”

He pushed you towards the counter and crossed his arms

You let your breath out in shock but scurry to get your stuff

You’ve never seen him like this and it terrified you

“I have my stuff.”

“Good, let’s go.”

He helped you lock the door and wrapped his arm around your waist

The walk home was silent

You were scared shitless

All you wanted to do was run back into your parents’ house

But he didn’t let you move an inch away from him

Once you got home, he started pushing you around and arguing some more

“Jungkook, I told you this afternoon when you came to visit! I said I have to stay late so I don’t have to stress myself out in the morning!”

“Don’t fucking lie to me! Who were you fucking seeing?!” He screamed, frightening you more

“No one! I swear, no one!” You whimpered

He corned you into your shared room and locked the door

“Jungkook, I swear! Nothing happened!”

He didn’t believe a single word coming out of your mouth

It was like you were talking to a wall

He pushed you onto the bed and stripped you naked

Jungkook pushed two fingers into your cunt and pretended to scoop out cum

“If nothing happened, why is your cunt full of cum?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about! I didn’t have sex with anyone!”

You weren’t very educated about sex, so Jungkook had an advantage

You began apologizing even though you didn’t have sex with anyone

You just wanted peace between you two

“I’m sorry! I didn’t cheat or anything, but I’m sorry if it hurt you! I really am!”

Jungkook slapped you and spat on your face

“Dirty slut. Telling me that you’re not cheating but still apologizing.”

“No! Please, I didn’t do anything!”

Jungkook pulled his cock out and shoved it in without warning

You were still new to sex so when he didn’t let you adjust, you automatically started screaming and crying

“Please, slower!” You cried, holding onto his biceps as he went faster and deeper

“Stop! Please!”

Jungkook loved the sound of his balls clapping against your ass

It honestly made him harder

All night, he was on top, fucking you hard

Your legs were spread apart, tears in your eyes and sweat dripping down your forehead

You looked like a hot mess

And he loved every second of it

“Mmh- Jungkook!”

You squirted around him and had a trembling orgasm

You couldn’t stop releasing your liquids on him and he couldn’t stop pounding you

The bed sheet was soaked by the end of it

He pushed his cock deep inside and came

After Jungkook fell asleep, you cried for while

How were you supposed to tolerate him for the rest of your life?

The next morning

You woke up in severe pain

You lower region was begging for some pain relief

But there was nothing you could do about it

Jungkook was still sleeping next to you

You decided to leave before he wakes up

After getting ready by leaning on everything, you slowly walked to town

When you arrived at the bakery, you saw a big “for sale” sign

You panicked and went inside the store, only to be greeted by your parents

“Mother, father! Why is there a “for sale” sign on the bakery?”

You parents looked at each other in disappointment

“You see, we have to explain the obvious to your daughter. Be grateful that someone willingly married your idiot daughter.” Your father said before walking out

His words did hurt but you cared about the bakery more than your father

“Why’re you selling it, mother? Can you not afford it anymore? Why-”

“Shut up, Y/N! You’re married now, you have wifely duties. You don’t have time for this bakery so the best option is to sell it.”

Your world fell apart right before your eyes

“But mother-”

“Save it. You already made your father upset. I’m warning you now, you don’t want to get on my bad side.”

You cried the whole morning

After you opened the bakery, lots of people gathered in line

All breads, cakes and muffins were going on sale

After you served the people in line, you went up to the tables and took their order

After you served them, a regular customer who was sitting alone gestured you to come over

You went over to the man and asked him if he needed anything

He told you to take a seat and accompany him

Since the crowd died down, you sat down in front of him

“You look a bit stressed and sad. What’s on your mind?”

You were touched by his words

Finally, someone cared about you

You told him you were upset about the bakery closing

He understood and even offered money to help you keep it open

You were flattered but didn’t accept the money

“Money’s not a problem, my parents just don’t want to keep this shop open.”

You talked with this guy for a couple of hours

Although this was your first time talking to him, you talked to him like he was your best friend

When closing time came around, he got up and asked you out on a date

You didn’t know what to do

You were married but you really liked this guy

You were considering saying yes when someone pulled his shoulder back and punched him across the face

“Jungkook! What the hell is wrong with you?!”

“You think I didn’t see that?! I saw it all. I saw you flirting with my wife for three hours straight and then asking her out on a date!”

Jungkook beat the crap out of the guy and pushed him outside

He then came back in the store, looking at you with devil eyes

“Yesterday’s punishment clearly wasn’t enough.”

The entire way home, he was yelling at you, slapping you, spitting on you, pulling your hair, pushing you to the ground and choking you

You were crying the whole time, apologizing over and over

When you arrived home, he seriously had no mercy on you

No foreplay, no lube, no adjusting

Just a raw, thick cock being forced into you

You were begging him to let you go but tonight, nothing was going to stop him

He was moving his hips insanely fast, not giving you enough time to breathe

You were choking on your own sobs

“Jungkook, please no! I’m sorry!”

“Why did you hesitate to deny his offer? You are a married fucking women!” With each word a hard thrust followed, knocking all the air out of you

“Answer me! Is he better than me? Does he take care of you? Does he provide money for you? TELL ME!” He was yelling so loudly, it was making you cry harder

“N-no, he doesn’t. He was just the first person to care about me.” You whispered the last sentence but, Jungkook was able to make it out

“Are you saying that I don’t care about you?”

He got more aggressive and fastened his pace

“Tell me, Y/N! Do you think that I don’t care about you?!”

You couldn’t answer him because you couldn’t catch your breath

He was going too fast and you were crying so hard, you couldn’t breathe

Jungkook noticed how much you were struggling and added onto your struggle by holding your neck down

“Apologize, right now Jeon Y/N!”

You softly apologize but it wasn’t good enough for him

He lifted your legs a little, giving him better access and fucked you till you squirted

This time you sobbed your apology and begged for forgiveness

“I’m so sorry, Jungkook! It’ll never— ah! It’ll never happen again! I’m so sorry! Please for- forgive me for my dumb m-mistake. Please! I’m begging you.” You held onto the bed sheet, praying he would stop

He huskily growled and pushed his cock in deep

“For the next 9 months you’ll be swelling with my baby. Now, everyone can back off.”

He shot his hot cum right into you, filling you up to the rim

Sorry for any mistakes. It’s 3:41am 😄

[ray-ray-writings]

A Dedicated Pig-Technoblade

#3 and 47 from this prompt list! Check out my masterlist here! This is in the DreamSMP Au. I

This is a Technoblade x GN reader! 

So in this AU I am making it so that your cannon lives are shown on your left wrist. And if someone types something in chat or if someone joins the server, it appears as text on your right arm until you dismiss it! If you are confused feel free to ask me any questions!

Part Two! Part Three! Part Four!

Y/N finally meets the one that everyone has been walking on eggshells over.

Y/N’s POV

I will never forget the gasps, murmurs, and then tense silence that followed the notification that everyone received on their right arm. Technoblade had joined the SMP. I didn’t understand why it was such a big deal though. Of course I had heard the stories. The horrors that he had done. The fights he picked and won. The amount of blood that had been shed at his hands had earned him the title of “The Blood God”. But when push comes to shove, he’s just another mortal man.

Everyone was a little freaked out and on edge because of the new addition to the server. I mean, Schlatt had just banished Techno’s family, his two brothers, from the nation that they created and fought for. Everyone knew that family was everything to Techno and if there was one thing Techno would do anything for it was his family. He would literally go to hell and back if it meant that his brothers and his father were safe. 

Finally after a few minutes of everyone holding their breath, I scoffed, rolled my eyes, and went on with my work, cleaning up the election decorations. All eyes turned to me “Y/N” Niki hissed, “Do you not understand what just happened? He could be anywhere” I let out a joyless laugh as I looked at my best friend, “You really think he’s going to come here right away? With nothing on him? With his brothers on the run? You think he’s going to worry about coming here, where it would be a 1 vs…” My eyes scanned the crowd doing a quick mental count, “15 plus? Come on Niki, think with that big brain of yours.” I claimed, a little annoyed, as I took down a banner. 

Niki let out a shaky sigh but nodded and continued helping me. “You’re right,” I chuckled at her response and bumped her shoulder, “You know I always am”. Soon, everyone went back to their own tasks, forgetting the news we all had just received. ‘See Mr. Pig Man Blood God’ I silently thought to myself, ‘You’re not as scary as you may think’. 

*Time skip*

A week and a half had gone by since Technoblade had joined the server and no one had seen him. Like I had predicted, he immediately had searched and met up with his brothers and had stayed clear of the main part of the server. That being said, I should have known that he would rear his pink head at some point…

When I first joined the server, I had made myself a small farm for food. Well of course everyone found out about it and wanted a part of it. So my small farm grew and grew. When Niki built her bakery, she needed a steady supply of well… supplies. Sugar, wheat, eggs, milk, and all that. I had plenty and I was more than happy to give her what she needed in exchange for baked goods. So once a week I would haul boxes of supplies across the SMP from my farm to her bakery. 

Everyone was aware of this and so on these days everyone would stay out of my way. Which is why I was so surprised to slam into someone while carrying a box of eggs to the bakery. 

I let out a huge gasp as the sound of eggs cracking filled my ears as I slammed into someone. The box fell out of my hands as raw egg covered my hands and body. “What the hell!” I cried out, looking up to yell at whoever had just crashed into me. I was momentarily stunned. There in the flesh, right in front of me, stood the Blood God himself, Technoblade. My surprise  didn’t last long as I remembered why I was angry in the first place. 

“What the hell are you doing here? It’s bakery day, sure you didn’t know that, but you should have taken the hint not to be here when you didn’t see anyone walking this part of the Prime path!” I shouted at the pink haired man. Techno’s brown eyes widened as I verbally attacked him. “And now I’m covered in raw egg! This is not pleasant! It’s gross and sticky and cold and I do not enjoy it! You are sooooo lucky I have a change of clothes at the farm and that my chickens laid a lot of extra eggs this week or else you would have had to explain to dear sweet Niki why she wouldn’t be able to open her cute bakery this week.” I hissed out. 

“I’m sorry,” Techno began with a raised eyebrow, “Do you not know who you’re talking to?” He questioned with a deep voice. I let out a loud scoff at the audacity of his question, “Of course I know who you are, Mr. Blood God,” I mocked. “So. You do know who I am and what I am capable of.” I scoffed at his smug words. “I said I did, didn’t I? And frankly I couldn’t care less about you and your reputation. You’re just a guy. A guy that has ruined my day because I now have egg all over me!” I complained, wiping my hands on my pants. 

I reached down and began picking up the box and the eggs and egg shells that had fallen on the ground.“You know, I could kill you with no hesitation?” Techno claimed as he crouched down, moving his face close to mine. “I’ve done it before to many others. They blink and my sword has entered their chest. I’ve probably slaughtered more people than you’ve ever met in your life,” Techno mused, a smug smirk tugging on his lips. 

I looked up from my box with a blank expression on my face, “Am I supposed to be scared of you? Is that supposed to scare me? Make me shake in my boots?” I questioned, my eyebrow raised. Techno’s smirk slowly slipped off his face. He quickly stood up and stared at me in shock, “Didn’t you hear me? I could kill you!” He explained. I rolled my eyes and also stood up. “So could another human. Literally anyone else. So could a fall from a huge height. So could a dedicated chicken. You’re not special.” I stated, turning on my heel and began walking back toward my farm. 

“So you’re really not scared of me?” I heard Techno question as he began to jog to catch up to me. “Haven’t I made that clear? You may have scary stories and legends surrounding you, but when it comes right down to it, you’re a man. Well, part pig, part man, but a man and mortal all the same.” Techno let out a scoff, “Technoblade never dies,” he claimed. “But you could. You have three cannon lives just like the rest of us.” I concluded. 

Techno silently followed me as I moved through the barn, replacing the eggs that had cracked when we collided. After I filled the box once more, I set it down before stepping into the bathroom I had built. “I’ll be right out. Don’t touch anything.” I commanded. Techno gave me a mock salute before looking around the barn once more. I closed the door and quickly cleaned up. I took off my egg covered clothes, washed my hands and body before putting on the clean clothes I kept here. 

I found Techno where I left him. “You ready to go?” I questioned softly. His eyes trailed from my horses back to me as he gently nodded. I made my way back to the boxes before picking the egg box back up. “Is this going to?” Techno asked. I looked over and found him pointing at the last box needing to go to the bakery. “Yeah, but you don’t have to-” I was cut off by Techno picking up the box. “Let’s go” He said walking out the door. I let out a laugh before following him, being sure to close the door behind me. 

The two of us made small talk about anything and everything on our way to the bakery. Techno told me all about Wilbur and Tommy’s constant squabbles and I told him all about everyone’s wariness ever since he joined the server. Techno helped me put everything away, which caused me to be done a lot sooner than I usually get done. The two of us left the bakery and made our way back outside. We began strolling the prime path and subconsciously came to a stop where the two of us met. 

Our conversation died down and the two of us stood there for a moment, just staring at each other. I finally cleared my throat, “Thank you for helping me today. I really appreciate it.” I thanked, running a hand through my hair. Techno mirrored my actions with a shy smile on his face, “No problem. It’s the least I could do.” There was a slight pause before he spoke again, “Hey. Listen. I’m sorry for threatening you earlier. It’s just… Everyone I’ve ever met has been terrified of me and when you weren't… It really threw me for a loop. So… thanks. Thank you for giving me a chance.” I let out a giggle at his vulnerability, “It’s no problem…. Maybe when this is all over and you and your brothers are welcome back into L’Manberg, we could hang out more.” I offered. Techno gave me a soft smile and a gentle nod, “Yeah. I’d like that. A lot.” 

“Techno!” A voice whisper shouted. The two of us jumped at the sudden interruption and turned to look at who had called the pink haired man’s name. It was Wilbur. “There you are! Where have you been?!” He questioned, marching up to the two of us. Techno made a gesture to me. Wilbur’s eyes shifted to me. I gave him a smile and a wave. “Hey Wilbur. It’s great to see you” Wilbur’s eyes softened as he gave me a smile, “Hey Y/N. It’s so good to see you too. We’ve got to go. Techno was supposed to be on a spy mission, but I see he got distracted…” I laughed at his words and nodded. “Something like that,” Techno claimed, rubbing the back of his head a blush. 

“Well it was great to see you Wilbur. Tell Tommy I miss him and that I say to stop trying to decorate with things that aren’t his, yeah?” Wilbur gave me another soft smile and nod, “Will do Y/N. Tell Niki I miss her?” I returned his smile and nod. I then turned to Technoblade and gave him a smile as well, “It was lovely to meet you. I really hope this is over soon so I can show you my weapons collection.” Techno’s eyes lit up and he nodded. “It was amazing to meet you too Y/N. And I would love that. So much.” I giggled at his response and nodded. “I knew you would. Bye guys.” I gave them both one last smile before turning and headed back to my farm. 

As I was leaving I overheard the next part of Techno and Wilbur’s conversation. “So… Y/N huh?” “Shut up.” “Who knows, when this thing is all over maybe you’ll get together and have pink haired, Y/E/C babies… Oh I would be the best uncle and-” “I’ll give you a five second headstart.” “Oh come on Techno-” “Five” “Please” “Four” “Tech-” “Three” “You know it’s-” “Two” “Oh come on” “One” “OH GOD! RUNNING!” 

I let myself look over my shoulder at the two. Sure enough Wilbur was sprinting down the prime path as fast as he could, but Techno was right behind him. “Get over here!” Techno shouted after Wilbur. “NO!” I let myself giggle at the two’s antics. My eyes focused on the two for as long as I could, but soon enough the two were out of my view and my ear shot. Oh I can’t wait until this is all over. 

There you go! I hope you enjoyed! And I hope I did the anon that requested this justice! If you did enjoy, be sure to leave a like! And maybe even a reblog or reply telling me what you liked about it! Until next time!

[atlas-of-a-human-soul]

Draw your swords, pt. 13

Summary: Terrified of losing Y/N, the Darkling lets his defenses fall.

Warnings: angst, slight fluff, sexual content

Part one // Part two // Part three // Part four // Part five // Part six // Part seven // Part eight // Part nine // Part ten // Part eleven // Part twelve  

=================================

“Stay with me”, the Darkling trembled as he rushed back to the camp. He held her body close to his chest, her head slumped right where his heart beats thunderstorms in her name.

She’s slipping away, he can feel it. The injuries she suffered and the power she used weakened her irreversibly.

He should be angry with her, enraged, but he had no strength to spare for violent emotions. His heart couldn’t bare much more than the pain he found himself drowning in. It wasn’t the pain of his own wounds, rather the pain of her parted lips and ragged breaths that came like final gushes of air her lungs released.

“HEALER!” He shouted, hoping, praying to the Saints he never believed in before.

“HEALER!” There was something in his screams for help, an unimaginable pain behind it.

Y/N’s fingers twitched, her chest rising in a strange manner; what should expand with an inhale suddenly draws in, a paradox he had seen in dying soldiers.

“HEALER!” It was the kind of scream that went straight for the heart.

Everyone tensed, following the Darkling – a man who never showed genuine emotion other than rage. His call for healers felt like a cry from the heart and soul that stretched across the foundations of who he is. The anguish tore through him as he saw a healer run toward him.

Letting out a shuddered breath in relief, he collapsed to his knees. “Not me!” He growled as the healer tried placing her hands on him, “Help her! Save my wife!”

Nodding, the healer looked down at Y/N with wide eyes. Another healer arrived too, then another, and another.

The Darkling refused to let her out of his embrace as two of the healers tried to take her away. “No!”

“We have to take her”, the first healer insisted. “She doesn’t have long and we have to act fast and that’s not going to happen while you’re clinging to her!” Eyes wide, she covers her mouth as it dawns on her who she’s speaking to. “Respectfully, General.”

Staring at her with raw suffering, Aleksander licked his trembling lips. He closed his eyes and wrapped his arms around her. Leaning in, he pressed a kiss to her temple instead of her forehead – forehead kisses in this moment would feel as if he’s kissing her corpse before her final rest. 

He couldn’t stomach that thought.

“If you die, I’ll never forgive you”, he whispers. 

This isn’t how it’s meant to be, how it’s supposed to be. He could never believe anyone ever loved anyone the way he loves her.

Nothing ever made him so frightened as the thought of losing her.

“Take her”, Mal tells them. Looking down at Kirigan who seemed incapable of standing back up on his own, he realized he had to take over.. “And send someone for your General. Send everyone for the wounded in the field.”

Aleksander looked up, jaw clenched and eyes swimming in tears he has yet to shed.

“I’m not leaving”, Mal quipped. “She’s my General.”

Y/N wasn’t able to scream, despite the pain darkening her mind. She tried to focus on her breathing, on staying alive. The only awareness she had was of Aleksander’s arms around her – she felt his scent. When he touched her face, when he tried to gain her attention, she couldn’t open her eyes. Her ears kept ringing, mixing with a rumbling inside his chest. She managed to blink her eyes open once, just one more time to see him, but all she managed to get was a glimpse of his chin and beard.

She wondered how he’d look without it, if it would make him seem boyish, softer. Maybe it would have erased the burden on his shoulders - they may be wide, but they shouldn’t have to carry all that weight alone.

Suddenly, his scent was gone. She tried to reach for him, but her arms could not move, hanging freely instead. Cold seeped in, clinging to her insides, wrapping itself around her heart.

Slowly, her agony had faded. The pain gradually lifted, dissipating like fog. For a moment, she wondered if this is what death feels like – no more pain? No more suffering? Being alone and cold?

Despite everything, if she had a choice, she’d embrace the pain. If pain means she would return to him, to his warm arms, she’d gladly suffer.

Dizzy, confused, she felt herself being pulled up into reality. The disjointed haze receded enough for her to make sense of the world around her. Her eyelids feel heavy as she opens her eyes, the edges of her vision flickering. Blinking fast, her eyebrows knitted as her vision blurred.

‘Aleksander’, she wanted to call, but couldn’t say a word. 

How odd it is that he’s the last one she thought about when she thought she’d die and he’s still the first one to come to mind when she wakes? 

She no longer felt cold. He always had the ability to keep the cold away.

Sniffling, she jerked her hands away as she became aware of another’s touch. Sitting up on a table she was laid upon, she pulled herself aside before looking to the one who touched her earlier.

“It’s just me”, he raised his hands in mock surrender. “I needed to see you.” His voice is soft, sweet like honey.

Scoffing, she narrows her eyes at him and the cup of water he held out for her to take. Her mouth is dry, her throat like sandpaper. She may be angry with him, but the water he held out felt more important than their fight.

“Are you in any pain?” He asks, watching her drink all of the water in one go. “I could have them come and take it away.”

Letting out a loud sigh, she wipes her mouth with the back of her hand. Raising an eyebrow, she licked her dry lips.

“Can they take you away?”

Snorting, he suppresses a smile. As long as she’s capable of annoying him, she’s going to be fine.

“What were you thinking?” Threading his fingers through his hair, Aleksander frowned. “You could have died.”

“Would have saved you a lot of trouble in the future”, she quips. Standing, she stumbles.

Feeling his hands on her waist, Y/N felt her heart skip a beat. Even now, when she’d like nothing more than to walk away, her body reacts to him. Looking up at him, she inhales sharply as she sees the tears in his eyes.

“I’m scared”, he admitted and she blinked.

“Of what?” She frowned, “Me?” Does her power frighten him? Because it frightens her.

He shook his head, “Of me”, he looked at her. His hands trembled as they touched her skin, “I’m scared of hurting you.”

“I’m scared of you hurting me, too.”

Dropping his hand, he takes a step back. “I don’t think I’m capable of ever hurting you.”

“Tell that to my neck”, she remarks. Her hand brushes over where his hand had tightened its grip just the night before, fixing his gaze on him. He seemed to regret it.

‘Good’, she thought. ‘I hope it haunts him, because it will haunt me.’

“I apologize”, Aleksander swallows thickly. He can’t remember the last time he apologized to someone. A part of him questioned if he ever apologized for anything he’s done in his unusually long life. “I had no right to act the way I did.”

“You once told me I could choose the way to punish you if you ever hurt me”, she takes his hand, intertwining their fingers.

Aleksander nods, “I’m a man of my word.”

“What’s your name”, she asks. “Real name.”

His eyes locked on hers like magnets of different polarities. Isn’t that exactly what they are? She’s his polar opposite in every way, fated to attract.

“Aleksander Morozova.” He uttered a name long forgotten; a name he wanted to forget. 

Aleksander was a weak boy who failed everyone that cared for him. He was soft, young, naïve and a damned fool for ever believing Grisha would ever be free. Even now as he elevated their status, Grisha had to serve a human – the Tsar.

Her eyes held barely contained anger. As her hands clasped, a few stray flickers of light appeared on her fingertips. Unclasping her hands immediately, she raised her chin up. “I want to know everything. Tell me your story.”

“And when will I hear yours?” Darkling demanded, swiping his thumb under his lower lip.

“You seem to mistake this for negotiations”, she maintained eye contact defiantly. “Last night you told me to either go back to the Palace or to cross the fold and return to my father. It’s a choice that would easily mean I can choose to stay with you or leave and never look back.”

Placing a hand on his chest, Y/N smirked. “You can either tell me the whole truth or watch me leave.” She spoke through gritted teeth, “Don’t push me unless you’re willing to lose.” 

Cupping his left cheek, she allowed a luminescent glow cast a light on his handsome features. She was angry, so angry and tired and her own power often terrified her. For once, she wanted to use it for her own benefit rather than hide it.

“What good will it do?” Aleksander’s bottom lip quivers as her light illuminates tears collecting in his dark eyes. “You’ll hate me as they all do. Even my mother saw me as a monster.”

“I’ve seen what you really are. And I never turned away…what makes you think I will now?”

She felt his jaw clench under the palm of her hand as he swallowed thickly, “You would if you could see my heart, all of it.”

Exhaling through her nose, she shook her head. Her eyes soften, her lips parting. How could she ever be indifferent to his suffering? She wished she could be colder, to leave him in tears and not look back. Hearing his words, his belief that he’s unlovable tugged at her heartstrings. 

"Have you no faith in me?"

In a fight, they’re lethal, but around each other their armor is gone.

“I’ve waited for you for centuries. I dreamed about you for hundreds of years before I ever saw your face. I longed for you, missed you, died and lived for you.” Taking her face in his hands, Aleksander bends. His forehead meets hers as his nose brushes against the tip of hers.

“Ever since I laid eyes on you, my dreams have been clearer, focused on you. And in my dreams I am kissing your mouth and you’re whispering ‘where have you been’”, his eyes overflow with tears as he continues with a fractured smile. “I say, ‘I’ve been lost, but I’m here now’.” 

Swallowing thickly, he felt as if his heart was breaking. “You’re the only person who has ever been able to find the real me. You saw me underneath all the darkness.” Reaching for her hand, his fingers tremble. “I was waiting for you without knowing it. I’ll make up for all the mistakes, for all the years I was supposed to be kissing you.”

“So why is it so hard for you to be honest with me?” She whispers, her hands trembling as they hold onto his shoulders.

His frown deepens, “Why weren’t you honest with me?”

“You once joked and said I’m no Inferni”, she shrugged. “You were right about that. My mother was. Father never knew about either of us. Your turn.”

“I was honest”, he sighs. Stepping back, he frowns. “I told you my name, I answered your questions about the black heretic.”

Reaching for him, she felt her heartache intensify once his tears began to flow freely across his cheeks.

“Don’t”, he recoiled from her touch. She wrapped her arms around her own waist, hurt by the rejection. 

“It’s not easy for me to talk about my past. It’s as if I’m cutting myself open, letting the ugliness spill out. It’s not painless.” Swallowing thickly, Darkling’s eyes widen as he tries to hold back more tears from escaping him. “It would have been simpler to close myself off and find an unremarkable lover who’d never dare defy me, but I keep taking the risk because I want to be with you and I hope that one day you will feel the same way about me.”

“I want”, she stopped, tucking her hair behind her ears. 

His voice was quieter, “What do you want? I’ll give you everything.”

“I don’t know”, she replied honestly. “I’m hurt, Aleks. You hurt me after you promised to protect me.”

Running a hand across his face, wiping his tears away. He averts his gaze. Watching her break because of him deepens the cracks in his poorly stapled, bleeding heart.

“What do you want”, she looked to him with a weight in her chest. How can loving someone hurt so badly even when the love is reciprocated?

“Never mind what I want”, he turned away. Facing her now would have chipped away at his fragile sanity, so he did what a coward would – he hid.

“You asked what I want”, she placed her hands on her hips. “I want to know what you want.”

Shaking his head, he let out a breathless chuckle. “You”, he smiled. “I’ll always want you.”

Closing the distance between them, she closed her arms around his neck. Before she could reach for him, he gripped her by her thighs and lifted her effortlessly. Wrapping her legs around his waist on instinct, she got lost in the rush of blood to her head when he pinned her against the table behind her. He paused, searching her eyes. 

Whatever he was looking for, she hoped he found it.

“I don’t own you”, his eyes flicker to her lips as she sinks her front teeth into the soft flesh of her bottom lip. “I never did. Human or Grisha, you always owned me. I was just too blind to see it.”

Brushing his lips against hers, Aleksander smiled in resignation. His eyes are so different in moments like these, softer than she ever imagined eyes could be.

“Your silver tongue won’t get you far”, she struggled to keep her eyes open with his lips a whisper away. “But you’re free to try.”

She felt his burning gaze, finding it hard to concentrate on much besides breathing. He observed her, capturing her soft, naturally charming and appealing nature. She’s genuine and sweet, the reason why everyone’s head turns when she walks into the room.

How did he not realize it before?

She’s the sun.

She always was. 

He always did squint angrily at her like he does with the fireball in the sky.

Y/N’s hands ran up and down his chest as her lips claimed his - passionately, roughly, determinedly. Without a word, she started to unbutton his kefta, her cold fingertips brushing his warm skin - until she lost patience and ripped the bottom part wide open, pressing her palm against his chest as he broke the kiss.

“Are you sure?” He raised his eyebrows in concern.

“I’ll be mad at you tomorrow. Kiss me”, she ordered, drawing a smile on his lips as she pulled him closer, her lips reattaching to his, her teeth sinking into his lower one.

Pushing him onto the floor, she didn’t waste time. Her bottoms were down so quickly he hardly had time to take a proper breath before she unfastened his pants too.

Heaving, Aleksander could hardly get enough of the view on top of him - her beautiful mouth opening in pleasure every time she sunk down on him, her eyes rolling back into her head, her hands placed over his chest to keep herself steady. She speeds up, prompting his loud, uninhibited moans that drew an honest smile upon her lips. He trusted up and into her as his high hit fully, taking her by surprise. She gasped, his thrust giving her an unexpected release as she clenched around him.

Gasping for breath, she laid on top of him. Y/N was very aware of his arm around her as it pulled her close, his hand on her hip, giving it a light squeeze. He leaned into her, his lips pressing a tender kiss to her temple, making her tingle with anticipation of something more - something she shouldn’t think about after their argument.

How can she trust his change of heart has nothing to do with the fact she’s the Sun Summoner? How can she ever trust him at all?

Clearing her throat, she pulled herself off Aleksander. “Put something on, someone might come in”, she told him as she secured her pants back on. She could hardly look at him, afraid he’d weaken her resolve. She couldn’t forgive him so easily, even if her heart ached for him.

“Let me in”, a voice from outside the tent made Y/N look to the entrance with a frown.

She crossed the distance swiftly, her hands ready in case she had to use her sword. She goes to place her hand on the hilt only to find her sword is not on her.

It’s a good thing that’s not her only weapon.

“Hey!” She shouts at the Grisha as they pulled someone away. “Stop!”

“General?!” Mal laughs as he manages to look back at her, fighting against the Grisha.

“Mal?” She chuckles, glad to see he’s still alive. 

“Leave him alone!” She orders, feeling a presence behind her. She didn’t need to look to know it’s Aleksander. Unfortunately for him, she wasn’t in the mood for anymore talking.

“You’re alive?!” Mal goes in for the hug, but his eyes catch a glimpse of Kirigan’s glare and he slowly backs away. “We need to regroup.”

“How many have we lost?” She frowns.

“You’re Grisha now”, Aleksander speaks up. “You don’t have to fight for the humans.”

Glancing over her shoulder, she scoffs at him. How could he even think she’d give up on her people now? 

“That’s not something I’d like. I enjoy my humanity.”

She was the flame who lit his life on fire and while he was burning, he wanted to thank her for it and ask her to stay a while longer. Darkling nearly chuckled at the thought of calling her fire, but she is and he craves the burn.

The Darkling wanted Y/N to be the one addicted to him, in equal measure as he was addicted to her. He wanted to give her a reason to stay with him, if not for love, then for lust. He’d find a way to her heart in the meantime and knowing they’ll have a forever comforts him, but he needed to have her in every other way until then.

He knew he could make her truly happy if she’d let him and he wasn’t about to let her go.

Not without a fight.

Watching her walk away with the soldier, he clicked his tongue. Mal, whoever he is, poses a threat he needs to handle.

Swiftly.

=============================

A/N - I struggled so much writing this chapter, hope you guys like it. I’m probably gonna pass out now, I’m exhausted. xx

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PART 14