#I’m tasting Honey Nut Cheerios

[themovementgeneration]

I Understand it Now/Meow.

〽️

Now I can rest in peace. 🕊️ ⚰️

Lake r’s~ in 5

Rest in Piece Ankh.

Sleeper Agent was so broken in Black Ops 6 🍕

[clover-the-awesomest]

Meanwhile me, who’s never enjoyed a soft drink, granola bar, pop tart, or cereal other than Honey Nut Cheerios in my life:

🤷‍♀️

i know vitamin c basically neutralizes adhd meds but lemonade good

[taylortruther]

Idk how often you have cereal but like, I probably have it once every 2-3 weeks and I’m sorry I know that everyone hate cows milk here but cereal just is not the same for me without cow milk 😭😭 like drinks, I can easily do any plant based milk but when it comes to cereal, it’s just never gonna taste as good to me

nah i'm with you, some honey nut cheerios or cocoa krispies with 2% just hits different!! also, ideal for dunking cookies

[beta-adjacent]

Actually, I’m not sure if the truth is an even funnier punchline so I’ll share that too. Yes, it’s true; I really have been meal planning this week. My question was intended to be funny…… but it wasn’t not genuine.

So uh. I started writing and realized maybe I do need someone to talk to hahaha…. ? So yeah, bit of a vent under the cut, but I think it’s still silly goofy enough to post

Hear me out.

It just happens that I‘ve needed to go grocery shopping for the last 3 weeks. I’m not the one in charge of that budget (or the transportation or the time or even the energy, but maybe I have more power than I thought because I was blamed for us not going this weekend? I can elaborate on that whole situation too if you want?? I don’t know how relevant that is to the story). But point is that I can’t go myself, not until at least this upcoming weekend. So, this week has been about getting creative with the food we do still have left. And the house just happens to have a shocking amount of pet food lying around, despite us not having pets and I’ve become a rather adventurous eater in the last few years.

So, I think all that considered, it was a pretty fair question to ask!! And to answer yours formally: I am ok, and while I haven’t actually attempted to season pet food yet, I am kind of considering it. Just as a backup backup backup plan, y’know?

Don’t get this twisted: we do have the money to go out and shop!!!!! It’s not like we’ve been eating takeout/fast food this whole time; we have plenty of delicious food in the pantry that we’ve had since we moved in, that we’ve finally started using now. It just sucks because that food in question requires more energy to make, like opening up cans without a can opener and cooking rice in a rice cooker (………which I say with equal parts comic sarcasm and authentic distress, haha. I’ve been trying to not beat myself up too hard for actually finding those difficult tasks right now. Especially the rice cooker, oh my god. It’s a whole Thing re: the dishes). We’ve been using my uni’s grocery benefits too because it’s just more accessible; I just can’t visit them until tomorrow afternoon. All the food left in the pantry is good still, like everyone in the house is capable of eating it, and that’s what’s really important. Lots of canned produce and noodles and stale snacks, which, no fuck you, I’m gonna make a quick PSA about this while I have the floor: if you have sensory issues with it, that’s totally fine, but sometimes stale/burnt/otherwise “bad” food tastes Far better than the “good” fresh version!!!!!!!! That is a hill I will die on!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sometimes I need a stale, dry cereal in my life. Usually when the milk has gone bad. But mostly because the texture is yummy too!!!!! Honey Nut Cheerios are kind of banger when they’re chewy

I cannot stress enough: we have all the ability and power and tools needed to make our lives easier in this sense, and we just have continually chosen to not take those opportunities. It’ll all be resolved eventually and NOTHING I’m writing is actually as bad as I’m portraying it. We have the money, we have good food in stock, we can easily survive Weeks without shopping still. I’m just a lil guy who’s hungry for food and knowledge, haha

Anyways, so yeah, if you’re affronted by this situation now, then definitely don’t ask me about my hair, or the dishes, or anything else regarding the basic needs in my life, bwahaha. I mean, you can, but you’ll get similar answers to this one

Anywaysssss,

pet food burgers! I’ve been thinking about it more, and I believe I could even get away with making meatballs with them too? That’d stretch pretty far with the pasta. OOH, and we have some flour somewhere!!!! Dumpling filling, anyone?? Ah, and meatloaf!!! We’ve got ketchup, and half a loaf of bread, and that’s like kind of all you need for meatloaf right? Guys, I think I’m really onto something here! Or I’m just hella hungry, bwahahaha. But no y’all, I could totally crush a Chopped episode where one of the ingredients is pet food; it’s a versatile protein source!!!

How bad can wet pet food actually be? I mean, you season that shit, fry it like a patty, serve it with some bread? That’s just some spam with the texture of canned tuna!

[youvebeenlivingfictional]

You Spin Me Right Round Part Two

Previous Part | Masterlist | Next Part

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Reader

Rating: M

Notes: Set after the series because Eddie is fine he graduated no worries. Not beta-read. I hope y’all are having a lovely weekend! ����

Also Ice Cream Cones cereal is a real cereal from the 80s. You can watch the commercial here!

Warnings: Cursing, mentions (but not use or abuse) of w e e d, fluff, some angst, negative feelings toward Reader’s father; Reader’s father is an absent figure.

Summary: “Don’t mind me,” Munson offers.

“That’s hard to do when you draw attention to yourself,” You point out. He gives a grimacing grin before he raises his hand to his lips, miming zipping them shut. Your eyes trail him through the shop, watching as he skims his fingers over a rack of classic rock cassettes before he disappears around a corner.

Circus Fun…Donutz Cereal…Kellog’s C3PO’s? Who the hell eats Star Wars cereal?...Then again, you can’t help but wonder…No. No. Frankenberry…Rocky Road…Ah, there it is. You reach in and take up the box you’ve been looking for: Honey Nut Cheerios. 

“Not gonna spring for the Ice Cream Cones?” 

You turn to the question-asker, and find a familiar guy smiling at you. It doesn’t take more than a second to recognize him—the shaggy hair, the jean jacket…But frankly, his smile is more telling than anything else. He’s got a sweet look to him, despite a somewhat intimidating get up. 

“Uh,” You glance back toward the shelves, eyes sweeping them for said box. Your eyes finally settle on the two varieties, “...No. No, I’m good.” 

“You sure?” He steps forward, picking up one of the boxes. He holds it up, giving it a shake, rattling the food inside. “You buy two and you can send in for a watch. And—” He holds it up beside his head, pointing to a graphic on the box. “It comes with Chumballs.”

Your brow furrows, head turning a touch. “Uh…What the hell are ‘Chumballs’?” 

“Gumballs to share with your chum! Haven’t you seen the commercials?” 

“No,” You shake your head a touch. You’re too embarrassed to tell him that it’s because you don’t have a television. 

“C’mon, you must’ve!” And then, to your utter shock, he throws his head back and crows, “My name’s Ice Cream Jones! I’m bringin’ the kids my ice cream cones! A crunchy cereal for breakfast! The great taste—of ice cream cones! Whooooa!” He flails, stumbling back with such force that you think he’ll fall. He straightens at the last moment, a grin across his face as he holds up the box again. “Right!”

When you shake your head a little, the guy scoffs in shock. 

“Haven’t even seen the commercial. Girlie, you haven’t lived.” 

“I have a feeling I’ll live longer if I never touch that stuff,” You retort as you stride past him. You hear the shove of a box against the others before his boots scramble and thud behind you. You glance back at him, raising a brow as he falls into step beside you. 

“Tell you what. Next time I get some, I’ll share my Chumballs,” He offers.

“Thanks, but maybe you oughta give ‘em to Cliff. I think he’d like them more.” 

“Yeah, maybe.” 

The two of you reach the end of the aisle, and before you can say or do anything, the guy is leaning over and peering into your cart, poking through your groceries. 

“Lessee, whadda we got…” He mumbles. “Bread…Milk…Eggs...Chicken...Spinach...Peanut butter…Jelly...” He lifts his head, peering at you from beneath his lashes. “See, this, ma’am, is what we call a boring cart.” 

“A boring cart?” 

“You know, it’s just the basics. Nothing fun, nothing that makes you throw the cabinets open and say, ‘Aw, shit yeah!”

“Maybe I’m a little biased, but opening the cabinets and actually finding food there is the kinda thing that makes me go ‘Aw shit yeah’,” You reply dryly. You round the aisle, expecting him to fall behind—but he keeps right on with you. 

“See, this is why you need Chumballs,” He insists.

You laugh a little, unable to help it. 

“I don’t know about that, but thanks, I think.” 

You stop in front of the canned foods, glancing over them and eyeing the prices. You can feel the guy fidgeting beside you, and can vaguely see him swaying back and forth, rocking from his heels to his toes. You finally take up a couple of cans of black beans, corn, and chickpeas. Then, at the last moment, you take up a can of tomato sauce, too. 

“What’re you doing with that?” 

“I’m gonna stack them and bowl at them.” 

“What are you using to bowl?” 

“Thought I’d get a cantaloupe.” 

He follows you from the aisle to the checkout, and waits as you check out. For one terrifying moment, you think that you may’ve picked up more than you’d been able to afford—you’d planned your purchases meticulously, but the cans of tomato sauce and corn had been last-minute choices. When the total comes to $19.87, you puff out a relieved little breath that you hadn’t realized you’d been holding. You pass over the twenty that your father sent you last week, giving the clerk a little smile. 

“How’s the Megadeath?” You ask Munson absently. 

“Huh?” 

Your brow furrows as you wrack your mind, then you shake your head. “Sorry, not the Megadeath, the, um—The Iron Maiden cassette you got?” 

“Oh! Good, yeah,” He grins, nodding. “Have you heard it?” 

“Nn-nn.” “Aw, ya gotta!” 

You smile a little at his enthusiasm, then turn to put the bags in your cart…Which is gone. Someone must’ve snagged it when you weren’t looking. Shit. 

“Here, lemme help.” 

“Oh, you don’t have to—” You start to insist, but the guy’s already squeezing behind you as the clerk holds out your change. You tuck the coins away, then turn to see Eddie taking up one bag, then another, and stretch for a third.

“You don’t have to take all of ‘em,” You chuckle. You take up the three remaining bags, shifting your purse on your shoulder before heading for the parking lot. The guy follows closely, and as the two of you approach your car, he puffs out a little breath. 

“This one’s yours?” He asks. Your chest tingles with self-conscious nerves. You nod a little. You know that your car isn’t the nicest, but it gets you where you need to go. 

“Yeah,” You mumble. You set one of the bags down on the ground, opening the trunk to put the groceries inside. You lean down, expecting the guy to pass your bags off and ditch. Instead, he’s shoving the bags into the trunk and rounding to get a better look at the car. You take the last bag up from the ground and arrange them all to keep them from jostling as you drive home. When you shut the trunk and walk around the car, you find the guy peering in through the window. His face and hands are pressed up against the glass. You raise your brows, unable to help your amusement. 

“She’s sweet!” He says it so sincerely that you can’t help but smile. 

“It gets the job done,” You nod. The guy straightens up, turning to you with a grin. You glance over him, then nod to the store. “You um…You didn’t get anything.” 

“Yeah, I’m gonna. I came with a friend.” 

“Oh? Wh—Where are they?” 

“He’s in there.” 

You smile a bit. “He’s gonna think you disappeared or something.” 

“Or just straight-up died, you know. Clean up on Aisle Me.”

You smile as he steps back, waving a hand kindly toward the front door of your car. 

“Thanks for the help,” You say. 

“Sure thing.”

You turn to the car, opening it and climbing in. You shut the door and start your car, glancing toward the window. The guy’s still there, and he gives you a little wave like he did at the shop. You smile, mirroring the wave before pulling out of the space. You can’t help but glance in your rear view mirror as you drive away. He watches you, too, and takes a couple of steps back, hands shoved into his back pockets. It’s another moment before he’s turning away, head ducking as he heads back to the grocery store. 

He’s kinda cute. 

Maybe you oughta ask him what his first name is one of these days. 

--

“New book, dorkazoid?” 

You roll your eyes, lifting your head from the book on the counter and resting your chin on your hand, eyeing Cliff.

“How’d you know?” 

“You’re not that far into it. Fewer pictures than the last one, I hope.”

“Whaddaya want.” 

“Just stopping by. I know you get lonely without me.” 

You mimic him childishly before glancing down To Kill A Mockingbird. Your attention is drawn away from it again when the door opens. The guy uses the right amount of force this time, and rather than looking around as he did before, he looks right at you. He grins, raising his hand and wiggling his fingers. You raise your brows, turning to look at Cliff. 

“He’s not here for you, is he?” You ask.

“No, no.” 

“You sure?” 

“Positive.” 

“Don’t mind me,” Munson adds, passing behind Cliff. 

“That’s hard to do when you draw attention to yourself,” You point out. He gives a grimacing grin before he raises his hand to his lips, miming zipping them shut. Your eyes trail him through the shop, watching as he skims his fingers over a rack of rock cassettes before he disappears around a corner. 

“He’s harmless.” 

You glance at Cliff as he offers the reassurance. You shrug, pushing yourself up to stand straight. 

“I might even go so far as to say that he seems kinda nice,” You retort. 

“Yeah, he is.” 

“How do you know him, anyway?” 

“He plays The Hideout sometimes, usually goes on, like, right before we do.” 

“Huh.”

“They’re pretty good…But he’s, like, the craziest of all of ‘em.” 

“Really?” 

“Dude shreds like you wouldn’t believe. It’s insane.” 

“Would I have heard of ‘em?” 

“If you ever did anything more than work, then yeah, maybe.” 

You roll your eyes, glancing over as the door opens again. You nod to another regular, smiling as she passes and pats on the counter on her way. You figure she’ll stop in the R&B section like she usually does, and she does linger there for a second…Before casting a nervous eye about and rounding the corner, out of sight. Your brow furrows a touch. 

“...Am I gonna have to kick them out? They can’t make out in here.” When you turn to Cliff again, you find him studiously rearranging the pens in your cup. “Cliff.” 

“It’ll be fine.” 

“How can you know that?” 

Not a moment later, your regular is rounding the corner again. She gives a quick wave before practically jogging toward the door. Your eyes narrow after her, and you turn your attention to Cliff. He’s still avoiding your eye as hard as he possibly can. 

“Clifford,” You warn. 

“Uhhh…” He glances over as his friend rounds the corner, hands swinging freely at his sides. “Gotta go.” 

You huff as Cliff hurries out of the shop behind your other regular. Munson’s brow furrows a touch as he comes to stand at the counter. 

“What was that?” He asks, nodding after Cliff.

“You tell me.” 

Munson’s brow furrows, and you sigh.

“Look, if you’re gonna sell pot outta here, I’m gonna need a cut,” You add. You expect him to deny it and hightail it out of there, or to laugh in your face. Instead, he leans against the counter, resting on his forearms. 

“How much?” 

The answer is so unexpected that it’s like a smack in the face. 

“I—What?” 

“How much,” He repeats with a shrug. 

“That’s not…You wouldn’t really.” 

“Why wouldn’t I? It’s quiet in here, the atmosphere’s rad…And when I’m not doing business, I can just veg out. So? How much?” 

You blink dumbly at the guy for a moment, mouth agape at his straightforwardness. 

“...How much is your average sale?” 

“Ten bucks.” 

“So I’d get fifty cents?” 

“Hey, that can add up.” 

You arch a brow, leaning back just a touch. The guy’s really serious. 

“...A preroll,” You counter. “Not per sale, just…Whenever you come in. One.” 

The man lowers his head, pushing out a low trill for a moment. Then he flips his hair back, knocks his knuckles on the counter, plants his elbow down, his hand open for a shake. 

“Deal.” 

You hesitate still. If your boss found out, you could be in really, really deep shit. But if you were smart about it, you’d score some free weed. You glance at his hand, then meet his eyes again. 

“I reserve the right to terminate this,” You warn, waving a finger between the two of you. 

“Absolutely. You say the word, I fuck right off.” 

You narrow your eyes slightly. That was too easy. No way he’d just go if you told him to…Right? But, Cliff said he’s a good guy. Cliff doesn't hang out with assholes. Hell, usually Cliff is the asshole. So you put your hand out, wrapping it around the guy’s gently. His slight smile turns to a full-scale grin as he pumps your hand. 

“Hell yeah.” He lets go of your hand, taking a couple steps back. “I’ll see ya in a bit.” 

“Yeah—Watch out—” You warn, then wince as he bumps into one of the displays. He whirls around to steady it before insisting,

“I knew that! I—That was on purpose.” 

You laugh a little bit, nodding. “Before you go?” 

“Yah.” 

“What’s your name?” 

He goes still, closing his eyes in mortification as his hands cover his face. 

“I am such a corndog,” He proclaims, the sound of it muffled through his hands. He springs back to the counter, hand out again. “Eddie Munson, at your service.” 

You smile a little, shaking his hand. 

“Nice to meet you, Eddie. I’m—” 

“Oh, I know! I mean—” He winces then, drawing his hand back to scrub at the back of his neck. “Cliff told me. I asked.” 

“You asked?” 

“...Yeah. I mean,” Eddie tips from side to side, “I didn’t think you’d appreciate me callin’ you pretty lady all the time, so.”

You smile a little. 

“Maybe just sometimes.” 

Eddie’s brows jump, intrigued, and he fixes you with a mischievous grin. 

“Noted.” 

You purse your lips to keep from smiling widely, and watch as Eddie takes a couple of steps back again. 

“I’m gonna go.” 

“Okay. Don’t bump into the—” 

“Hey, I learned my lesson.” 

He continues to walk backward, stepping sideways through the aisles, eyes still set on you. You can’t bring yourself to break eye contact, or fake reading your book. Eddie raises a hand, blindly searching for the door handle. 

“Bye, pretty lady.” 

You laugh a little, unable to help it. 

“See ya, Munson.”

Taglist: @missredherring​ ; @fantasticcopeaglepasta​ ; @paintballkid711​ ;  @massivecolorspygiant​ ; @blueeyesatnight​ ;  @recklessworry​ ; @amneris21​​ ; @ew-erin​ ; @youngkenobilove​​ ; @carbonated-beverage​​ ; @lorecraft​​  ;  @moonlightburned​​ ;  @milf-trinity​​  ; @nolanell​​ ;  @millllenniawrites​​ ;  @chattychell​​  ; @dihra-vesa​​  ; @videogamesandpoorlifechoices​​ ; @missswriter​​  ; @thembosapphicclown​​ ;  @brandyllyn​​  ; @wildmoonflower​​ ; @buckybarneshairpullingkink​​  ; @mad-girl-without-a-box​​  ;  @winchestershiresauce​​ 

[messervixen]

𝙼𝚊𝚛𝚊𝚞𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚜, 𝚂𝚕𝚢𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚗 𝚂𝚔𝚒𝚝𝚝𝚕𝚎𝚜, 𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝙶𝚒𝚛𝚕𝚜, 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝙲𝚘 𝚊𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜 𝚖𝚢 𝚏𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚗𝚍𝚜 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝙸 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚜𝚊𝚒𝚍

Marlene: Mouth, boob, same thing.

Sirius: I wanna be a shrimp.

Evan: You scared the living crouton out of me!

Regulus: Somebody just fuck me into sleep.

James: Please spank me with a paddle.

Marlene: Literally until now I thought a jester was a fancy stripper.

Pandora: Time is like a fruit loop. It’s non-linear and it doesn’t taste as good as you would except.

Sirius: It escalated from a knife to a staircase very quickly.

Alice: Do you mind if your socks are aged differently?

Regulus: Unlike Loki, I do like hurting people.

Dorcas: I don’t want a chunky bubble blanket.

James: Oh, I got eaten by a bathtub.

Sirius (talking about Remus): I’m gonna play with this old man.

Lily: I want my tits to be feather dusted.

Barty: I wanna be fucked by a feather duster.

Regulus: I want someone to choke me while kissing me.

Alice: I love Honey Nut Cheerios. It gets the tough stains out.

Barty: If I was a stripper my name would be Roxanne.

Regulus to Sirius: You’re so desperate for human contact, you would cuddle a cactus.

Remus: I give you permission to kill Sirius. Or me actually, I don’t really care.

Mary: Don’t let it marinate in your bra.

Marlene: My mouth is too cold for bare naked ladies.

Regulus: You have pretty eyes. Can I stab it?

Alice: I like killing the beans.

Sirius: Speaking of Almond milk, are you gay?

Regulus: I need water, I’m drowning.

Peter: Where’s the teacher? I need to wash my eyeball.

Mary: Your eyes are really pretty. They’re like, sparkling with tears in them.

Marlene: I hate fucking balls.

Remus: You’re breeding violence?

Sirius: Wow. Gay milfs.

Evan: I don’t want to die… well actually… wait, never mind.

Pandora: Nice people deserve nice bodies.

Dorcas: Weird question, are you gay?

Regulus: Yes.

Marlene: Cool, we’ll take all the girls you don’t use.

Lily: I don’t want the fish to choke so I’m feeding them grapes.

Sirius: Someone drew a penis on a sponge. So unoriginal.

Peter: I think my cat is a pterodactyl.

Sirius: Guys, my elbow pit is sweating!

Frank: Be gay on your own time.

James: Sirius is freaking out, help!

Remus: It’s because of me isn’t it?

Sirius: What’s the key to happiness?

Regulus: Ignorance.

Regulus: I’m gonna apologize for existing. That should cover all the bases.

Lily: I have to go hurt my sister.

Remus: My children are all guinea pigs and I’m still a shit parent.

Barty: My grandma’s not dying, she just had a birthday.

Evan: Yeah and it’s probably her last.

Marlene: A nose just hit my face.

Sirius: A baby would look good in a thong.

Lily: I can’t finger any more women because my finger’s broken.

Dorcas: No old men are invited.

Alice: Can I peel your skin off?

Regulus: I like making people think they have a chance at winning and then crushing all their dreams.

Barty: Being hot gives me motivation to clean my room.

Peter: I need a tracking app for my tracking app.

Pandora: Dying is fun if you’re scared!

Lily: I inhaled flowers.

James: Are you a beaver cause damn.

Marlene: Math was so much easier before they added numbers.

Alice: Noises of death.

Evan: That’s your leg? I thought it was a demon.

Lily: Sometimes I feel like killing people and then I remember that murder is illegal.

Remus: Flirting is just creative complimenting.

[eunwoo-bot]

for the girl of my dreams...

💌 — ♡ ×ㅤ ㅤ 101521 | LUNA’S BIRTHDAY.

for @lunaaofthemoon ღ

Although I know I'm not the best with words and I know I can’t give back to you in words the comfort and happiness you have given me throughout the past few months, I want to at least try writing you a special little letter on your day, a little appreciation for the loveliest, prettiest birthday girl.

It has been since what... 3 months since we first met? Gotta thank Juyeon for that. Cupid Juyeon? 🤭 No but seriously, would we have crossed paths if it wasn't through him? Anyway. Those three months have brought nothing but joy to me. The endless banters we shared, heck since day 1, I’ve been teasing you a lot, haven't I? I guess I like doing so because your reactions are funny, adorable even, priceless - all in one. Isn't so bad when I make it up to you hm? We could always re-act the wasabi incident~

It has been since what... a month since we've made it official? We could've gotten together sooner but it was hard finding the right moment. I knew you liked me but maybe, just maybe, a part of you has always been reluctant of how your heart loved. Too big, too easy, too kind. Maybe you’ve grown used to giving and giving and giving and perhaps, you probably thought this encounter wouldn’t be any different.

Baby, I won’t allow that.

I hope you know that I’ll continue to hold your heart with gentleness, not because it’s weak, but because it deserves to be loved and taken care of for a long, long time. You’re the only person my heart yearns, longs, and constantly loves. And with each waking day, you give me more and more reasons to adore you. You’re a very pretty flower that shouldn’t wilt or be left alone. Someone like you should be watered with affection and should be under a bright light called love, at all times.

In my eyes, you're the center of my world, the center of my omniverse, the apple of my eyes, my princess, my baby, my honey bunny and the list goes on and on. Everything we’ve shared—the stolen kisses, the whispered promises caught by the moon, the writhing heat we reveled in—all of it, being able to spend so much time with you for the past few months warms my heart so much, you don't have any idea. Just the thought of you brings me so much happiness.

I'm not gonna make this stupid long because I pour my heart out to you a lot, I think. So I'll cut it here. Now let's get to the gifts as it's a tradition for every birthday!

To start everything off, I know that you love drinking teas so I got a box of tea drip bags as well as a cute standing calendar where you can remove the guy every month and he'll hold a new month. 2 months till 2022, do wait.

Next, we have a heart-shaped bread. I thought it was pretty. Thanks to Soobin, it got delivered to me right on time. I hope everytime you cut a piece, you'd be reminded of me~

Flowers. I know you love purple flowers. Though, sorry I'm no flowers expert. I found these and simply thought the wrapping was pretty and honestly, the flowers are even more pretty? So I just had the urge to bring them back because.. just look at them. Absolutely beautiful. Fitting for a beauty like you.

Next up, having more t-shirts are always a staple so why not getting matching shirts. I don't know which shirt you'd like so.. you pick princess. We can be matching. Plus it's a cute yet simple design.

And lastly, as part of tradition, we can never forget the actual dessert - cake! Here we have a lovely vanilla cake with fresh buttercream icing topped with honey nut cheerios. Not sure if the taste is amazing but we'll see when we try it out hm?

Yeah, that's about it. Thank you for the time spent together so far, and more and more to come in the future. My love for you just continues to grow that I can't even express it. I can’t have enough of feeling alive because of you, looking at you, loving you, talking to you, caring for you, touching you, being with you and kissing you. If I’m feeling this way after only a month of staying together under the canopy of love, can you imagine what I'll be feeling like after a year? I love you to infinity. I love you to the moon and back, I love you more than there are stars in the sky and grains of sand on the beach. I’d go to the ends of the world for you and catch a drop of sunlight, or a falling star, if it would make you happy.⠀

Signed,

Eunwoo.

[mycatsaidwhat]

shit i’ve heard high schoolers say ULTIMATE EDITION (best of four years)

-who the hell allowed teenagers to have caffeine and hormones

-My life plan is to live fast and eat mac and cheese

-job qualifications? uh… self conscious and horny

-*reads first question on the test* where the fuck is my Advil

-Skate fast eat ass and don’t forget your hall pass

-My will to live is drying out like an old whiteboard marker

-(Which way do you go around a roundabout?) Straight through because I’m not a coward

-Ravioli is the food pyramid

-All I have is a bottle of vodka and a lot of aspirations

-You have to pay for a dog but I can be a dumb bitch for free

-don’t be that kid who hisses

-the last time i felt productive was when i took an adderall

-My thesis is so full of holes it's like goddamn swiss cheese

-I’m the human equivalent to the wrong bell on Jeopardy

-Please tell me it’s not another Grinch thirst post

-And I’d like to bang Scarlett Johansson like a shotgun in an old western movie but we don’t always get what we want

-I don’t actually want a girlfriend, I just want to be someone’s lock screen, like I’m not lonely I’m just conceded

-well this doesn’t work as well as the add said it did

-real shit where the sugar mommas at my car needs gas

-*eats ravioli out of shirt pocket*

-okay, WHO GAVE ME ACID

-I’m gonna get an A if it kills me but the problem is it might

-Do herbivores just hore verbs or

-You can’t just whisper “skinless frogs” into my ear like that

-Nuns are holy Karen's did I stutter 

-Just sell adderall like a normal teenager why do you have so many batteries

-Little Bo Peep in the Toy Story 4 trailer is the new black widow

-Who’s impulse control? I’ve never met her

-I put the gay in alligator

-Sure sex is great, but have you ever fit two puzzle pieces together

-It’s exhausting trying to think for you

-Cinnamon Toast Crunch is God’s work

-How small of a dick do you have to have to flex a sports car at school 

-Living on the edge is wearing your crocs without the safety strap

-Why don’t we just jack off instead?

-Self care is drowning yourself in the little big burger fry sauce

-Idk what the electoral college is, we should just have nose goes

-Damn if only you could write your AP Lang essays the same way you describe bacon

-I’m like the old lady who feeds pigeons in the park except I’m not old and I don’t feed them and I don’t go to the park

-(We got dinosaur juice in our grounds!) Do you mean fossil fuels?

-Umm of course Spongebob is gay have you seen his driving 

-Is it racist to say “go back to your state?” cause Californians TALKING TO YOU

-I get a boner just thinking about a particular kind of cheese

-The fact that not all Cheerios are honey nut Cheerios got me fucked up bro

-(just go find the candy aisle!) But Andrew this is Office Depot

-You can’t just flirt with my nap schedule like that

-spy kids is the latino black panther I said it

-Mike Pence is the human equivalent of mayonnaise

-Minecraft hunger games is why I have performance anxiety

-If you embarrass me I’ll go on a date with your mom

-I get high so I can knit and watch the office by myself

-So you’re telling me that your creative talent is creating 3D printed Shrek body pillows?

-My nips use he/him pronouns so technically tumblr, you can get fucked

-(so yeah I went to bed at like 3am) Damn, y’all need to start going night night earlier

-I cant even cheat right, I had notes written on my fucking hand and I still didn’t pass

-You bet your sister shit James Charles is quaking at my highlighter

-I spent the first 9 months of my life in a fetal position, who’s to say I can't do it for the rest of my life?

-straight men just take all of my fucking energy

-If anyone's wondering baby formula tastes like shit

-doctors always wanna ask if you sexually active… bitch why? You wanna fuck?

-(I’m having suicidal thoughts) Okay? Put some ice on it?

-So like if you gave a horse a handjob,,, 

-I just really want someone to slurp vodka out my belly button

-If you can shoot alcohol from your hand, there's a good chance you’re gonna befriend Jesus

-okay so milk in a bag taps 

-(you spent a lot of time on tumblr) Well yeah I was gay in middle school what do you expect 

-I feel like we could equate my boredom to the amount of custards I make this week

-Oop the worlds ending let me just nut real quick

-alright fuck this, i’m selling feet pics

-I’ve seen you hard but you don’t want to see me cry? 

-(You’ve jacked off at school?!) Hey man, there’s just something about pencil shavings 

-I will kiss you on the cheek. Don’t think I won’t. Full homo 

-1900s, that was like Medieval times, right?

-My fatal flaw is thinking men are hot 

-You are the rudest person. You’re off the Christmas card list 

-free spice girls tickets?! IT’S GAY CHRISTMAS

-(My printer is drunk and printed this bitch out in plain white) Cindy that’s the regular printer paper... you need to actually turn the printer on

-Why would I ever want to wear a thong? I don’t want dental floss in my ass cheeks

-I just wanna hibernate 

-Man these subway Spotify ads got me horny as fuck

-tell me why white people are such sluts for Ghandi 

-My favorite sport is playing Spot the Juul when y’all post selfies 

-For the last time, Stalin was in a meeting called the Ice Box he wasn’t in an actual icebox

-(bro I am so faded I need a beer right now for real) It is 9am 

-What if teeth were flaccid and got hard when you were hungry 

-Michael Cera give me strength 

-damn Mother Nature must have gotten some dick because it sure is beautiful outside 

-Did you just feel up my ruler? 

-for personal reasons I will be drowning in my sorrows as I sleep all day  

-is he cute or does he just have curly hair and you want a boyfriend? 

-where are you going?! To class! ................. why?

-get one of those Halloween size bowls of candy, fill it with cocaine and just eat that shit with a spoon 

-Kalishqua had a little lamb, little lamb, liTtle lAmb, Kalishqua had a little lamb with teeth as white as crack

-I need someone to break my 20  WELL I NEED SOMEONE TO BREAK ME

-What class do you have next? I don’t know I’ve never actually been to third period 

-How do you turn off your turn on? 

-*just got wisdom teeth taken out* wanna see my holes 

-Well I just ate half a pound of chocolate covered mango slices and cried about nutella for 30 minutes how’s your finals week going

-my backpack is weighed down with my bad decisions

-*school bell rings* oh fuck off little bitch

-I can’t wait until I’m in my 20s and I can have boujee private jet sex 

-Arsenic is my daddy

-Pansexual means literally anything. Like I would fuck that house

-ITS STILL A PDF GOD FUCK--

-But I have the right headphone which means that I am the alpha 

-If you really think I cared do you think I’d go outside wearing crocs 

-Is vodka a vegetable? 

-I imagine I’d taste unsalted and sad

-Idk man I’d like to have Keanu Reeves in my kung pow chicken 

-(You make playlists of bad country rap at 2am?) No, I make playlists of iconic country rap at 3am

-You’re not weird you’re just everything that means weird without saying it 

-Please don’t make me vote Mike Bloomberg please don’t make me vote Mike Bloomberg PLEASE DON'T MAKE ME VOTE MIKE BLOOMBERG 

-I don’t know what you’re talking about, James Madison was hot as fuck, a fucking snack 

-I can have several mental breakdowns per minute and will still steal your bitch

-I like my coffee with a little bit of cream, a little bit of sugar, and just a sprinkle of steroids

-Bitches be playing their music out loud without headphones. Like who do you think you are, the pope? 

-(What’s the state above Tennessee?) I don’t know my geometry 

-When life is going so badly that you might as well whip

-Is being a tomboy just lesbian preschool? 

-Jeffery Star is the Gatsby of our generation 

-I JUST WANT TO PLAY SUSHI CAT, FUCK OFF

-Glad to see your mind immediately goes to the economic benefits of repeated emotional trauma 

-My face looks like a fucking everything bagel 

-If I get this kahoot question wrong because I was looking at your ex’s foot I am gonna be so fucking mad 

-If I’m gonna die I want it to be with my middle fingers up 

-I want to cry I just like don’t have time 

-you know the seven deadly sins? Microwaving bacon is the eighth 

-If you’re gonna be depressing at least be sparkly about it 

-I want to cry myself to sleep but like that’s messy  

-K let’s be honest if there was a British exchange student at our school they’d get laid before they stepped off the plane 

-I don’t do truth, I do masking my feelings until they’re so suppressed I forget they’re there 

-Do bodybuilders masterbate with protein powder?

-So you know that self love shit people be preaching so like that ain’t gonna fly with me when my only talent is recreating the burnt chicken nugget vine 

-My worksheet bring all the boys to my DMs

-You miss a day of Latin and suddenly it's the language equivalent of imaginary numbers 

-what if we put a whole bunch of adderall into a toaster and just bake that shit

-what, do you just orgasm to jazz now?

-When a flute is the only dick you ever gonna get 

-*pours la croix in spoon* I need some floss 

[poorwayfaringstrxnger]

My friends that know nothing about Formula 1 make assumptions about Formula 1 drivers (long post incoming)

I joined in on the bandwagon! It was the most chaotic half an hour I’ve ever had and I need somewhere to express that. I asked for assumptions + a name based on what they look like! They knew Lewis, and one of them knew Kimi because of her dad. Oh, and one of them made no contribution except to say what foods they either looked like or looked like they would eat for their breakfast LOL

Here’s what they said...

I forget who started this trend I’m so sorry

Daniel:

"Is that Chewbacca?" ................................. "He seems like a fairly friendly bloke... though he'd probably run me over." (he literally wouldn’t) "His name is.... uhhh... James Harkinson."

Max:

"That's a motherfucking twink." (I SCREAMED)

"His trim (hair)'s a little offputting, but he seems nice."

"Name wise, he seems like.. a Thomas?" "He looks like if Honey Nut Crunch cereal was a human."

Charles:

"Why does he give off the vibe that he wouldn't hesitate to clothesline you?" "He looks like a Chad." (I DIED)

“How about.... strawberry flavoured Shreddies for him.”

I’m very sad they made no reference to how he looks tired in every photo.

Seb:

"He looks mildly like Mr. Dyer" (an ex teacher at our school) "He looks like he still eats Cheerios." "Name wise.... Russell." (LMFAO)

Pierre:

"Fucking hell... scary man." (meanie. he is not scary. never forgiving my friend for saying this)

"Full English breakfast..." Harper is obsessed with food. "When you said he was French, the name Pierre instantly came to mind." !!!! One later said that he looks like Jacksepticeye. I can't with these bitches.

Lewis:

"Alexander "Lewis" Hamilton." !!!!

"Oatcakes (a food from around where i live) with bacon and cheese." "There's a million things he could have done... But just you wait... what's your name, man? ALEXANDER HAMILTON." "Man is suave... and that's coming from a lesbian."

This was literally just them referencing Hamilton because they actually knew who he was

Carlos:

"Does he like protein drinks? Maybe he has coffee and toast."

"Norton." (I say he's Spanish) "NORTONÓ." "WAIT NO... IS ANTONIO A SPANISH NAME?" "UHHHH... JAVIER."

Esteban:

"He looks like a Joe." "NEVERMIND JOE ISN'T A FRENCH NAME" "His breakfast food is a croissant." "John." (referring to his name) "French guys aren't really that intimidating... he seems fairly nice. He looks like a Sebastian." (LOL wrong driver guys)

Lance: (had to ask them to be nice to him so I didn’t cry)

"He looks like the guy who plays Jacob from Twilight."

"He probably enjoys eating frumps... maybe not for breakfast though." (frumps are long marshmallows) "Canadian.... Benjamin." "2012 Minecraft youtuber is what I think." "BAJANCANADIAN."

“But also, his pose... I feel that.”

Checo:

"Vic." "His shirt says hype, he's immediately epic." "Pink." "Amazing vibes." "Also likes frumps. He shares them with Lance." (CUTE) "His vibes are immaculate." 

I think Checo is their fave..

George: "He looks like a William... OR A WILBUR" "Man's fancy with the cup, Jesus wept." "Wilbur Soot when his YouTube career goes bank." "The bracelets... THE BRACELETS" (there was nothing wrong with his bracelets my friend just has no taste) "Great vibes. Would hand him a Pepsi." "Why is the cup so big? Does he like soup?"

Lando:

"God, the stance, man." (referring to how he was standing in the picture I sent them) "My man looks smug as fuck and I'm here for it." "Phillip." "Is he okay?" "OH HELL YEAH" (after I told them he does livestreams) "PHILLIP IN THE TWITCH CHAT FOR TODAY"

Alex: (for context I sent them that one photo of him lying down on a bed)

"I can't give him a breakfast, he's not even out of bed." "He looks comfy in that. I envy him." "Mark." (this made me laugh bc it reminded me of Markiplier LMFAOOO) "He looks like he's wom a fair share of races, man. Man's go brrrr." "He eats peanut butter sandwiches as a late night snack." "Alex Almond milk..." (after I told them his name) (THIS MADE ME LAUGH SO HARD BC THE FANDOM CALLS HIM ALEX ALMOND)

Kimi:

"Why does he look scared?"

"Is he okay?" "That man has never had any seasoning on his chicken... ever." "Thinking of a suitable name is very hard.." "HUBERT." "He's not okay, he's being held at gunpoint so that strangers can make assumptions about him on Discord." "RICHARD" "OH I KNOW HIM" !!!!!!!!!

Romain: (made sure they respected him by telling them about his bad crash)

"Mr. Beast, low budget version."

"Kudos to him for not dying, man." "Swiss names..." "Teddison." (i cried laughing at this) "AYO ROMAIN" (after i told them his name)

Kevin:

"Fucking hell he looks intimidating." "He looks familiar..." !!!!!! "He does look pretty familiar.." "FRANK." "Does he like scrambled eggs?" "WAIT NO... BROCK" (both of those names are incorrect)

Jack:

"He looks like Guava Juice." (THE WAY I SEE IT OMFG) "The food jokes are mine but that was good..." (Me) "Think of a really basic name..." "JACK." !!!!!!!! "I think he would like pomegranates, or grapefruit."

In conclusion I think they’re both now Sergio Perez stans and I hate one of them because she said Pierre looks scary.

[succygirl]

Granola bar recipe

I know this is my succulent blog but what the hell have a recipe because I live on these granola bars. Basically everyday I don't have the energy to make food to eat, but every so often I do so I make these and stay alive for another week. Otherwise I'm eating dry Honey Nut Cheerios for every meal and I need at least some variety.

Granola Bars

Dry ingredients:

1 cup flour (I use gluten free because I have to)

2 cups old fashioned rolled oats

¾ cup packed brown sugar

¾ teaspoon salt

1 cup dried fruit (I like raisins) (can also be left out)

1 cup chopped nuts (whatever you want, mixed or not, chopped to whatever consistency you like)(can also be left out)

Wet ingredients:

1 large egg, beaten (won't be as moist if you forget it but it's still edible without, I've never tried a substitute)(I also don't pre-beat the egg I just dump it in there and kinda beat it up a little before I stur everything together)

2 teaspoons vanilla extract

½ cup canola oil

½ cup honey (make sure it's flowing, if it's crystalized heat that sucker up or mixing will be very hard)

Things I leave out but could be added:

¾ teaspoon ground cinnamon [I think it's gross]

½ cup ground flaxseeds (flaxseed meal) [has a strong taste im told, if you dont like it don’t add it].

Prepare a pan. Line with parchment paper so it's easy to get them out. If you don't have parchment paper you can spray the pan with oil, line it with aluminum foil, and then also spray THAT with oil too. 

Mix dry ingredients together then add wet. Mix well. Honestly doesn't matter what order you put them in but it'll be a much more thorough consistency if you do dry first, mix well, then add in all the wet ingredients.

Pat mixture into the prepared pan, maybe half an inch thick? If it doesn’t reach the edges curl up the aluminum foil to fit it. Or if using parchment paper… make more? Or you can add some aluminum foil to give it a firmer edge. My mother makes them like an inch thick and they're still good. If there's extra parchment paper sticking up I usually just cut it off.

This is a 14 ½" by 10"ish size pan with a double batch (just double all the ingredients) and it fits perfect.

Bake at 350 degrees for about 20 minutes then check it. I usually do a few more minutes, if you like them soft and gooey then do less time, if you like them more crunchy (mainly the edges will be crunchy the rest will not) then do more time. Once the edges are brown and it's stopped making bubbles is a good time and that's usually at the 22 minute mark for me.

Cool on wire rack, once cool invert pan and remove foil/paper. Cut into bars!!

This is what I call done, just starting to brown on the edges but it's still moist looking everywhere else.

Once cooled and cut these stick together pretty nice, though not as well as any kind of store bought granola bars I’ve ever bought (but those are also very hard and too chonchy for me)

And don’t worry I am trying to expand what I eat everyday but.... cooking is exhausting and I literally always mess something up EVERY time I try and don’t know enough nor am I confident in anything I do to know how to fix any mistakes I make. So I usually shut down when I’m trying to cook and something goes wrong, even something as little as my chicken sticking to the bottom of my pan.

Going to try making some soup eventually... I have a recipe but... cooking.... >.>;;;

[eternalstann]

Tongue Twister

In which Peter Parker orders a Pepperoni Pizza....and gives his best friend head.

Pairing: Peter Parker X Reader

Warnings: smut!!!

Word count: 2k

_______________________________

Your eyelids scrunched together at the sudden brightness and heat that hit your face. You heard quick footsteps across your bedroom. "Wake up!" Of course it was Peter. Rolling over onto your stomach, you buried your face into your pillows. You almost felt embarrassed once you remembered you only had on a t-shirt and underwear but you were too sleepy to move again. You felt the mattress shift and you knew that the way too giddy boy had climbed onto the the bed with you. You took a sharp inhale when you felt a pillow come down on your ass. "Its 11 o clock! Get up you bum!" Peter exclaimed before hitting you again.

"You're a whole new breed of annoying" you groaned, finally sitting up. Wincing as you opened your eyes, you couldn't help but crack a smile at your best friend. "I'm a whole new breed of man" he replied and you rolled your eyes. "You should've been spider-boy" you reiterated  for the thousandth time. "Why can't you let me be great? Anyways- what do you want to eat though, I'm gonna order some food"  You thought about what you wanted and Peter plopped down next to you.  He grabbed the remote to your T.V, without asking as usual and began scrolling through HBO. "Let's watch Westworld, I've been wanting to start that for a while..." he trailed off,  turning his head to look at you. He stopped to admire you, so pretty even when you just woke up. Your hair was up in a ponytail, lips and cheeks a little puffy still from sleep. You wore an old Ramones t-shirt of his that he'd given you after he shrunk it in the wash. He loved the way you looked in it. He loved the way you looked period. He didn't have a crush on you on you or anything though. You were his best friend. He just thought you were beautiful, smart, funny, and wanted to be around you all the time. That wasn't a crush was it?

He was pulled from his thoughts by the sound of your voice. "Lets get Alfredo. Shrimp or chicken though? Or maybe crab if you're feeling extravagant." He only partially heard what you said. "You want crab legs? That's so much work to eat." "Peter you weren't even listening to me! Never mind just order some pizza." Peter felt a little bad for not listening but how could he focus when you looked like you did.

"I'm sorry! I'll order, Leonardi's?" You gave him a look and he picked up his phone. "Hi, Peter Parker placing an order for a pepperoni pizza". You burst out laughing and he smiled before shushing you. You placed a hand over your mouth to try and keep quiet. "Do I, Peter Parker want my Pepperoni pizza for pick up -no delivery please. No, this is not a prank call. 223 Myrtle Avenue. 1 hour? Thank you!" You removed your hand and let your laughs flow freely.

"You're a joke - oh my god, that was damn near a tongue twister". Peter began laughing with you, his hand finding a place on your upper thigh. "Ooo you finally shaved your legs" "Shut Up! I had to, I went on a date". Peter leaned away from you with a shocked face, "You what?!" "Why is it so shocking that I went on a date? But yes, I did. Remember that guy we ran into at the train station - Nathan? It was actually really nice" You stared at your friend and waited for him to respond. "Did you have a sex with him?"

Your eyebrows rose up almost to your hairline, "Why is that your first question". You stood up and fixed your underwear, sliding your feet into your fluffy slippers. "Well, you shaved your legs so I assume it's because you intended to fuck him". You nearly choked on your on spit, "Jeez Peter, and no I didn't have sex with him. He just went down on me...then I left". It was Peters turn to choke. "What? He gave you head and then you bounced?!" You laughed, "Damn, it sounds bad when you say it like that. But okay, so boom, we kiss blah blah blah and he you know...goes down on me and it was horrendous. We're twenty now, I feel like I'm too old to have wack sex. If he can't give head then he probably can't fuck." You shrugged and Peter was looking at you like you had two heads. You walked to your dresser and began looking for a pair of pants to put on. "Wow, do you think all girls think like that?" Peter asked, he thought it was bad ass that you knew what you wanted and what you didn't want. And a little bit insecure. 

"I mean, I'm sure no one wants bad head" you replied. Peter couldn't help but wonder what your pussy tasted like. He guessed like his favorite cereal, honey nut cheerios. He shook his head, why was he thinking about you like this? The two of you had been friends since 6th grade. But holy shit your ass was gorgeous, how had he never noticed you had an ass like that before. "You know, I've never gone down on a girl..." he mumbled, looking at his hands. You were genuinely shocked. You knew Peter could be a little shy but let's be real, he was stupidly handsome. "Y/N, what if I'm bad at it!" he exclaimed. Peter tended to excel at everything he tried so you had no worries for him.  "It's not that big of a deal Peter, trust me you'll be fine." "But what if I'm not?" You laughed at his concern, about to pull your pants on. 

"Wait! What if I...what if I practiced, like, on you?" his voice got lower with every word. You couldn't believe you ears, your pants dropping to the floor. "You want to eat my pussy?" You asked incredulously. "No I don't....not like that; I mean I do but like in a friend way? Not that I wouldn't in a romantic way but like...fuck yes I do" he threw his hands in the air. You could feel your body begin to heat up at the thought of him tasting you. "Um.. if you want to, I guess, it couldn't hurt". Peter nodded, grabbing your hand and guiding you to sit on the bed. "Can I kiss you?" you asked, and Peter's heart raced at how innocent your voice sounded. He didn't speak, just leaned in to connect your lips. The moment your lips touched it was as if something broke inside the both of you. You could've kissed him forever. Peter's hands went to your waist, pulling you onto his lap, his fingers fiddled with the hem of your shirt. You moaned into his mouth and nodded giving him permission to lift the top over your head. Peter pulled away to look at you, letting a hand cup your full breast. His thumb ran back and forth over your nipple and you shivered from the tingle it sent down your spine. "Wow...when did you get these?" Peter asked and you laughed pushing him back against the bed. You pulled your panties off, and you realized you were naked and he was fully clothed. "Take off your shirt" you instructed and he obeyed. 

Peter lay back down, and you ran your hands down his hard chest. "Where have you been hiding these" you asked, letting a finger run over the lines of his abs. "I've been trying to show you for months! Now come here" he spoke grabbing your hips and pulling you upwards. "What?!" you wondered aloud. "I want you to sit on my face" Peter responded like he had just told you the answer to a math question. "I..okay" you muttered, a bit taken a back. You positioned yourself over his face. He grasped your hips, "Wait" he commanded and you hovered above him. "So pretty" he whispered. He looked up at you and smiled when he saw you were already looking down at him, your mouth parted into a small 'o'. He let his left hand reach under you, running his fingers between your folds, just barely brushing against your clit. You gasped and your hips jerked forward. Peter hummed, loving every second of having you above him. He let his thumb dip into your pussy, "So fucking wet" he drawled before putting the digit into his mouth to taste you. "Oh my god" you whimpered watching his sultry action. He'd had enough. 

Peter pulled you down to his mouth, getting straight to work. He let his tongue lap against the full length of your pussy, back and forth. His hands moved around to your ass grabbing handfuls of each supple cheek . He moved your body back and forth letting you ride his tongue. "Peter" you moaned, throwing your head back and letting your hands massage your tits. Peter looked up and nearly came in his jeans at the sight of your writhing above him. He'd never wanted anything as bad as he wanted to make you cum in this moment. He moved his tongue to your hole and began moving it in and out, fucking you with the wet muscle. You shook your head in disbelief of how good he was making you feel. "Peter I'm gonna fucking cum" you screamed, hand reaching down to grab his hair. He picked up the pace and wrapped an arm around your waist so he could could rub your clit. You didn't even get to warn Peter as your orgasm crashed over you. Your arms reached forward to grab the head board while you came so you could hold yourself up. Your chest heaved as you tried to catch your breathe. 

But Peter didn't stop. "Peter I can't" you whined, your body feeling spent. "Yes you can" he mumbled, barely pulling his mouth away from your pussy. You tried to lift yourself up but he held you down against his tongue, fuck him and his super strength. Peter looked up at you again, your brows were scrunched together and your mouth wide open. He tightened his grip on you, grinding you against his face. You felt your second orgasm approaching and Peter could tell. He moved his mouth upwards, sucking on your sensitive clit. You fell forward this time as you came, screaming profanities. Peter let you go and you collapsed onto the bed next to him. He was on top of you in an instant, kissing you like his life depended on it. Your arms wrapped around his neck pulling him flush against your body, wrapping your legs around his waist. Peter pulled away staring down at you. "How was that?" he asked, and you could tell he was serious. "It was amazing Peter, please fuck me, I need you to fuck me" you practically begged, thrusting your hips against his. His fist slammed into the mattress beside him at the feel of your pussy rubbing against his hard dick. "Holy shit, okay" he groaned and reached to undo his pants when you heard the door to your apartment slam. You both froze. 

"Hey guys, where are you? I'm here! The pizza guy was standing downstairs he said he was for like 15 minutes so I just paid, you can cash app me later.." It was Ned and MJ. "What the fuck" Peter whisper yelled. You pushed him off of you. Throwing his shirt at him. "Get dressed" you panicked. "Tell them I'm in the shower!" you squealed before locking yourself in the bathroom. Peter tugged his shirt on before realizing he still had the biggest hard on in the history of hard ons. "Fuck it" he mumbled walking out into the living room. He gave Ned an unenthusiastic wave and grabbed a slice of pizza. Ned was about to say hi when he noticed Peters boner. "Don't say a word" he grunted, taking a bite and shaking his head at his friends. 

"Every time I come over here something weird is going on..." Ned whispered to himself.

_____________________________

My first imagine about Peter Parker! Should I do a part two? Let me know, sending you all love.

Part 2 is up! 

[kandypants-fitpants]

Hey guys 😞

I’ve been really struggling. I’ve been doing everything wrong. I know I don’t have it as bad as everyone else and I know everyone is having the same issues as me. But I’m still struggling with my own issues. I’m literally doing everything wrong.

I’ve recently moved into a new home that I didn’t like. I’m slowly starting to like it as I put my own thing me into it and as I see how much my boyfriend and cats like it too. I’m still a little uncomfortable in the house though. But I know plenty of people are moving and not sacrificing their health.

My work schedule is all over the place. Sometimes I have a full work load and sometimes I’m stressing trying to figure out how I’m going to get at least 20 hours for the week. It’s been really different. I’m trying to be flexible but I’m not dealing with it well at all. It’s like I low key panic about the new change when it happens and then I calm down and am able to deal. But every time I panic it takes a lot out of me. And like I never really become me again?? I don’t know.

I haven’t been working out. At the beginning of a June I made this goal to walk a mile a day until August. I’ve done it....once? And it’s July. I haven’t been motivated to workout. My boyfriend hasn’t been motivated to workout. And the friends closest to me don’t workout.

I haven’t been eating healthy either. We’ve been eating out a lot between packing for the move and unpacking after the move. We’ve also just been plain lazy and haven’t felt like buying food to cook or cooking the little bit of food we have in our home. I try the “trick” of drinking water but I still have such strong cravings for cheddar sour cream and onion chips and cheezits mainly sugary things. Cookies, honey nut Cheerios, mini wheats cereal, or graham crackers. I can literally eat a box of Cheerios in two days. It’s so bad.

I keep saying that I keep eating and I can’t stop. Even if I don’t go to work I eat like a bowl of cereal at 6am and again at 10am and then eating again at 2 something and then again at 5 something and then again at 8 something and then at like 11 I’m like “let’s have some more cereal”. And like I can’t stop. Even when I’m full of water my body is like “this is not satisfying until I taste what I want”.

And it’s so bad. I don’t recognize myself in the mirror. I can’t wear my chokers because my neck is too big. I can only fit into 1 of like 7 pairs of shorts from last summer. When I lay down I feel these back rolls that weren’t there before. My work shirts are starting to feel tight where they were once starting to feel loose. I’m just really uncomfortable in my body. And I keep complaining without really changing any of my daily habits. And I don’t know why. I want to change but my cravings seem to have more control over me. I feel good while indulging and then really bad afterwards. I’ve never thought of myself as having an eating disorder but now I’m starting to worry.

My boyfriend suggested I go back on the eating plan where I pay attention to these container quantities and how much I’m eating and when. But I was so unhappy with it too. I don’t know whats the lesser of the evils. Being unhappy now? Or being unhappy with the containers?

07/05/2020

[lovemesomesurveys]

1 - When you're hanging out with friends + you become bored, do you just leave or endure the boredom? I usually wasn’t bored when hanging out with friends, like I was fine just chillin until I was ready to go home. 2 - What did you last plug into your computer? What were you doing with this? My wireless headphones were charging. 3 - Did the last pair of shoes you wore have laces or not? Yes. 4 - At what age did you learn how to tie your shoes? I think I was like 4. I just remember going around the house tying all the shoes, ha. 5 - Did you go to school this week? I’ve been done with school going on 6 years now.

6 - Have you gone swimming since last summer? If you haven't gone yet this year, when do you plan to go next? The last time I went swimming was about 8 years ago. I was never into swimming much and don’t have plans to go swimming for the foreseeable future. 7 - Have you ever had feelings for your friend's boyfriend? Did they have feelings back? No. 8 - Are you lactose intolerant? Do you know anyone who is? Wouldn't you hate it if you were, if you're not? I am and yes, my mom is as well. 9 - When you were in school and took physical education, what was your favorite sport to play in class? I didn’t enjoy PE at all. I was in an adaptive PE class throughout school because I’m in a wheelchair, but we still played sports and I hated it. 10 - Has a circus ever visited your school? Was it interesting / fun? No. 11 - Do you like the healthy cereals or the sugary cereals more? I’m all about the sugary cereals. Unless you count Raisin Bran as being somewhat healthy cause I can eat that one. Although, I don’t think Frosted Mini Wheats or Honey Nut Cheerios are all that bad either. 12 - Do you think it's dumb to wear long sleeves with shorts, or no? I don’t care, man. 13 - What about Uggs with shorts? Wear what you want. 14 - Do you mind sitting in darkness while on the computer, or does it hurt your eyes? I do that late night as I’m getting ready to go to bed, but it’s not completely dark because I do have my TV on. 15 - Do you get angry when people criticize your taste in music, or do you just shrug it off? That doesn’t really happen, but I wouldn’t care. I like what I like. 16 - When someone whom you don't want to talk to texts / calls you, do you ignore it or answer it / pick it up anyway? I would rather they just text me regardless cause I don’t like talking on the phone. 17 - Did you watch the LOST finale? What did you think? Was it anything like you expected? I never watched that show. 18 - Have you ever made Rice Krispies treats at home? Did you like them? I’ve helped my mom do that when I was a kid. Homemade Rice Krispies treats are the best. 19 - When people "cyber bully" you, does it really get to you? I’ve never been cyber bullied. 20 - Don't you hate when people think they know what they're talking about when they talk about politics, but really, they have no idea? Yeah. I hate how easily misinformation gets spread that’s so easy to fact check. I don’t know much about politics and don’t pretend to, but I try to make sure to do my research first. I really just avoid talking about politics at all, but yeah. 21 - Isn't it wrong when parents push something on their kids, for example, they wanted to be a lawyer when they grew up but that didn't happen, so they push their kid to be a lawyer? Yes. You can’t make your child live out your dream. 22 - You just won a trip to go to one state in the United States for a week. Where do you go and why? Hmm. I’d like to go somewhere with snow, but yikes a few places are really going through a horrific time right now with below freezing temps and no electricity. It’s really bad. 23 - Are you attracted to facial hair? I like a little scruff, but I’m not into beards or goatees. 24 - If you could go to any college, all expenses paid, which one would you want to go to? What would you study? I went and graduated UC already so I’m good. 25 - Has summer begun for you yet? No, thankfully. Summer can stay away, please. 26 - Have you ever gotten blisters on your feet? What about hands? From what? On my hands from being a wheelchair user. 27 - Do you want to go to any concerts soon? Which one? Do you think you'll be able to go? I miss concerts, it’s been over 10 years now since I’ve been to one. Who knows when there will be concerts again now and when I’ll be able to go to one. 28 - Have you ever ridden a trolley? No. 29 - If you have Tumblr, what makes you follow someone? If they post stuff I like, obvs. And they’re still active. 30 - Do you hate when survey makers end their surveys with, "DID YOU LIKE THIS SURVEY?" or "WOULD YOU TAKE ANOTHER SURVEY BY SO AND SO?" It’s just pointless cause odds are they aren’t going to see my response. Well, unless it was made by someone on here who sees my surveys, but the surveys I’ve seen ask that are ones that were made a long time ago and/or were made on Bzoink.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #275

i’m anxious and my head is hectic so i can’t think of a single song lyric to put here lmao

Have you ever dated anybody online? Yes, but we met up in person for a week+ at a time multiple times. Ever been stalked? No. Ever stalked someone? No. I never got to that point with him because shit’s creepy. Have you ever been called a slut, hoe, skank, whore? Only playfully by close friends because that’s how we show affection sometimes lmao. Have you ever snuck out before? No. Do you eat meat? I wish I didn’t, but I do. If so, do you like meat? Yes. If not, do you have anything against people who eat meat? N/A Have you ever gotten a manicure or pedicure? I went with my old friend and sisters on rare occasions just to hang out. Have you ever been close to getting kidnapped? Jc no, thank fuck. HAVE you ever been kidnapped? No. I’d be so goddamn terrified. Do you listen to Lykke Li? Never heard of ‘em. Have you ever self-harmed? Yes. Do you have any eating disorders? No. Have you ever met a celebrity? No. Do you like Monster Energy or do you prefer other energy drinks? Astonishingly with how much I love soda, I am nooot an energy drink fan. They taste like straight-up poison. Describe the best day of your life? I don’t really know what that would be. About how many times a week do you skip class or just school in general? When I was in school, I’d fake sick as a kid rarely, then in high school I had quite a few mental health days. College, too. Have you ever been suspended from school? No. Have you ever been expelled? No. Do you role-play? Only on designated forums and in serious stories. I need substance behind it. Irl, sexual, and pretty much any other RP doesn’t interest me. Do you watch Degrassi? I never did, no. What is one of the saddest novels you’ve ever read in your lifetime? Johnny Got His Gun by Dalton Trumbo. Jesus fucking Christ. Orbit or 5 Gum? Honestly can’t even remember their tastes… but I THINK I preferred the latter. Have you ever been in a love triangle? No. How bad are your hangovers? I’ve never had one. Do you think Taco Bell is nasty? No. Do you have a jacuzzi? Definitely not. Have you ever broken a bone? If so, what was the cause of it? No. Do you think vegans/vegetarians look down on people who choose to eat animal products? That’s a very generalizing statement… You can’t say that of them all. Some absolutely do, others don’t. Do your friendships tend to last a long time or are they short-lived? Definitely the former. Name the best and worst things about your current or most recent relationship. The best thing was absolutely that I felt accepted for entirely who I was, like I needed to hide not a single thing. The worst thing was easily distance. Fuck distance. How are you? Aggravated at a lot of things. What part of your body are you most insecure about? Absolutely my stomach. What’s one food you would be surprised to hear that someone doesn’t like? Chocolate. I mean I know at least one person who doesn’t, but boy does it catch you off-guard. Do you think your voice is higher or lower than average? It’s definitely lower than the average woman’s. Do you and your parents like any of the same bands/singers? Oh, loads! I couldn’t even begin to list them all. Is there any food in your bedroom? No. Do you know anyone who has road rage? MY YOUNGER SISTER. GOOD LORD. Riding with her is always a trip. How far away do your grandparents live from you? My only (barely) living one is in New York with family, probably until she dies. It’s like ten hours away. What kinds of cereal are in the cupboard? We have chocolate Special K, Honey Nut Cheerios, a Food Lion rip-off of Rice Krispies, and… maybe one more? Is your mom a big health freak or your dad? Or neither? Neither, really. Given her cancer, high blood sugar, and diabetes though, Mom is much more conscious of what she eats. Do you know anyone who wants to be the president one day? Not that I’m aware of. What kinds of chips are in the cupboards? We don’t have any. Mom and I try to keep snack foods out of the house because we know ourselves well enough to know we WILL eat them too fast. Do you have your mom’s or dad’s hair? Absolutely my mom’s. It’s thick as hell like hers was. What’s the first thing you see when you walk into your bedroom? Probably my massive Nightmare Before Christmas poster above my bed. Do you have any friends who have naturally red hair? Yes. Have you ever cried when a teacher retired? Yep. I’m never going to forget my first band teacher; he was a real comedian with a massive heart. We all adored him and got so excited when he would come back to substitute if our instructor had to miss and he was able to come. Oddly enough, I don’t remember his name… When’s the last time you wore heels? Oh Christ. Maybe Ashley’s wedding? Did I even wear heels? Do you have your mom’s or dad’s eyes? Neither. What’s the best date movie? I am such an average white bitch in how my answer to this will always and vehemently be The Notebook. How long has your current best friend been your best friend? Around three years. Have your parents ever been out of the country? No. Do you swear and yell while playing video games? No. I might curse under my breath. Is there any alcohol in the fridge? Oh I WISH. Do your pets chase after bugs? YUP. Roman loves hunting flies. When’s the last time you were so excited you couldn’t sleep? Why? Excited? Probably not since I was going to see Sara. I don’t know. What is your mom’s favorite movie? Oh shit, good question. How much older is your dad then you? Don’t make me math, please. 30-something years. Do you have any relatives who really spoil you? No. Do you know anyone who has security cameras in their house? Probably. What was the last movie to make you cry? No clue. Has anyone you know ever pulled the fire alarm in school, joking around? I think so? Who was the main character in the last book you read? Starflight. Is the last person you said goodbye to single? No, he’s married to my sister. Who are the last people you saw kiss? Like romantically/on the lips? Ummm probably a couple on Facebook or something. Have you ever posted a fan fiction on a website? No. Do you ever fantasize about your future wedding? Who’s the bride/groom? Not anymore. Do you have any relatives who are expecting a baby really soon? No. My high school friend did just announce she’s pregnant with her second child though. When you get married, who will be the maid of honor/best man? My mom. Does your best friend get along with their parents? Yes, they’re fantastic. Have you ever been in a wedding? What were you? Yes; I was the hideous bridesmaid that just cried all through my sister’s wedding. That was a fucking nightmare. Does it matter to you what kind of shampoo you use? I don’t really care, no. Do you have a sensitive gag reflex? Like STUPID fuckin sensitive. Where are you the most ticklish? Don’t touch my fuckin feet. What was the last situation to upset you? It was a petty envy thing that shouldn’t have upset me, let’s move along. Have you ever had an online argument? I’ve been socially on the Internet since I was 11 and am now 24, take a guess lmao. The general subject of your last text conversation? Asking Sara for permission for something RP-related. What is just down the hall from where you’re located? There’s not really a hall at all; my room opens up into the living room. Do any of your friends know you fill out surveys? Well besides the online friends I have here, no. Do you like the controversial/political surveys? ”It depends on if I have enough opinions (and energy) to give good answers or not.” <<<< Exactly this. Who/What did you last spend time worrying about? Myself and my future and my newfound fear of ending up homeless and hopeless after my parents pass away because I’m a very sorry Adult™. What was the last thing you prepared in the oven? Whoa, who knows. The oven scares me, so I don’t use it myself. When were you last offered something illegal? I don’t think I ever have been, actually. Did you accept or decline that offer? N/A When was the last time that you saw fire? On the way home like a week back or something. Someone was burning stuff in their backyard. Have you ever seen somebody get shot? No. What are you listening to? “Little One” by Highly Suspect. Gorgeous song. Do you chew on your hair? Um no???? Can you talk on the phone while having the tv/radio on? No. What size are all the televisions in your house? I don’t know the measurements, but it’s a large Vizio. One of the few really nice things we got when my parents were together. Do you have health insurance? Yes. How many times have you been pulled over by the cops while driving? Zero. What is one of your favorite movie lines? I don’t know, they’re not really something I memorize. What is one thing you look forward to every day? My morning Mountain Dew lmao it’s my coffee, essentially. What is one thing you dread every day? The inevitable part where I’m bored shitless by early evening. Ever lived through a natural disaster? Lots of hurricanes. What’s the longest you’ve lived without electricity? I wanna say around two days? Maybe even three? I don’t remember. Name all the drugs you have tried: None. Name all of the alcoholic beverages you have tried? Margaritas and sangrias with different types of alcohol that I don’t know. Oh, hard lemonade. Oh yeah, wine too, which was fucking repulsive. Name all the types/brands of cigarettes you have tried: None. What is one thing you stand strongly for? Fucking TRY ME on gay rights. What does your doormat say? We don’t have one. Who was the last person you were on hold with (on the phone)? I don’t remember. Who do you know that’s had a baby recently? Ummm I don’t think any *very* recently. Do you know anyone who got married recently? Again, not very. Do you know anyone who has died recently? No. Do you change songs in the car often? I use my iPod to play over it, where I select the songs to play, so I let them play through. However, if I was actually the driver, I definitely wouldn’t; it wouldn’t really matter because I’m so terrified of driving that I need almost no radio at all. What street sign do you find totally pointless? I’m not familiar enough with them all. What drinking games have you played? None. What made you pick up the last book you started reading? Sara got me into the series. Have you received any bad or troubling news lately? Welcome to 20fuckin20, y’all. When was the last time you were relieved about something? *shrug* What about your life concerns you the most? That I’ll waste it. Is there a common thing most people seem to do without trouble, but it scares you (talking on the phone, driving, interviews, etc)? When was the last time you had to do one of these kinds of things? When I went to the doctor a couple weeks ago, I signed myself in. Yes, that sets my anxiety off because I don’t know how to Talk. When was the last time you went somewhere for the first time? Uhhhhhhhh good question. I don’t go anywhere. What is a situation that makes you feel especially confident? Talking about meerkat behavior ha ha. If you’ve moved out from home, what was the scariest thing about it? What was/is your favorite thing about it? N/A Are there any fictional characters you like even though they’re “bad” or “evil?” What qualities draw you to a character? BITCH yes. I just like charisma. For villains, I really like when there’s a *reason* they’re bad, too, and not so just for the sake of it. And I am a SUCKER for sarcastic lil shit villains. What are your thoughts on “forgiving” murderers, rapists, attackers, etc? Do you think it’s even possible to forgive these people? This is a tough question, after I looked past my initial “hell no.” Like, people change. I suppose it varies case-to-case. What was the last series you finished watching? Do you have any plans to begin another? Actually finished, Ginga Densetsu Weed. I’m sure Sara and I will keep watching Avatar: The Last Airbender next time we see each other. What is one way in which you are different from a year ago? What is one way in which you are still the same? I definitely hate myself more than I did. And that’s the problem: I haven’t developed at all in a year’s time. Is there anything you’ve promised yourself you’ll never do again? Multiple things. Do you prefer fake tanning or real tanning? I prefer not tanning at all. Would you date someone who was addicted to drugs? No. I’m not getting into that shit. If the person was recovered, yes, but I wouldn’t hesitate leaving if they relapsed and didn’t seek help. Sounds brutal, but I’m serious about the damage drugs do, and not just to the user. Do you still talk to the person you had your first kiss with? No. It’s probably best we never do again. Can you make yourself cry? I’ve never really tried, but I don’t think so. Are you ready for kids? I’ll never be. Have you ever woken up crying from a bad dream? Plenty of times. Thanks, nightmares every fucking time I sleep. Do you eat breakfast? Yes. Cannot relate to people who don’t like wtf that’s the best part of the morning. Have you ever trusted someone too much? BOY OH BOY OH BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! How did you get your last bruise? I don’t recall. Last time you got a text message and smiled? Idk. What was the last kid’s movie you saw? Ummmmm good question. Have you ever shared a shower or bath with someone as an adult? Noooo, not into it. Sounds dangerous but also just… weird to me. Like let me clean myself in peace??? Are you bitter about anything? Oh, am I. Do you use emojis? Occasionally. I’m too biased to emoticons, growing up using those every sentence, lol… but I’m starting to move towards them depending on the platform, and the ones I use are very limited. Do you have any hidden piercings? (this includes bellybuttons) No. I took my snake eyes out. Has anyone called you perfect before? *lips against mic* that was a motherfuckin lie Have you ever liked someone that was in a relationship? Yes. Have you ever gone through a period of mass weight-gain/weight-loss? What was that time like for you? Both, actually. First, mass weight-gain happened due to a medication I was on that murders metabolism + I was a bad emotional eater after the breakup, and those two don’t mix. Then, through recovery, I lost over 50 pounds in around a year from being off of that fucking medicine and my eating habits returning to normal. What’s one incident that has majorly affected your self-esteem? Was it for better, or for worse? THE BREAKUP. It made me feel like an absolute waste of space and time. Do you have a close bond with your sibling(s)? Was it always this way, or has it been better/worse? Not really, but I wish I did. Ashley and Nicole are very close, then I’m like… awkwardly on the sidelines trying to find times where I can insert myself and be a proper sister. Ash and I ARE closer than we were as kids, while it’s a harsh opposite with Nicole. We shared a room and were very close, but now I feel like she doesn’t even like me. Have you used Limewire before? Ha, yuuup… Who do you envy the most, if anyone at all? I’m uncertain about the most.

[something-tofightfor]

Get to know me if you want

@madamrogers tagged me in this... answers under the cut, and if you’re seeing this, consider yourself tagged! 

Who were you named after? No one. My mom always tells me that after 36 hours of back labor three weeks earlier than she planned on having me, she didn’t care what my name was or how it was spelled. Lucky me. 

Last time you cried? I cried the other night because I am frustrated and overwhelmed. 

Do you like your handwriting? Sometimes. When I think about it, I think my writing turns out pretty nice, but most of the time it’s scribbles. 

What is your favorite lunch meat? Turkey. Smoked or cajun. I also really liike pastrami.

Longest relationship? The one I’m in now. We’ve been together since December of 2007 with a 7 month break from Feb. 2011 - Sept 2011. 

Do you still have your tonsils? I sure do. 

What is your favorite kind of cereal? Honey Nut Cheerios or Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

Do you untie your shoes when you take them off?  Depends on the shoes. A lot of my shoes aren’t meant to be untied. 

Do you think you’re strong willed? I am stubborn as FUCK.

Favorite Ice Cream? Vanilla bean. BUT. Ben and Jerry’s had a Willie Nelson’s Peach Cobbler flavor for like two summers that I could have eaten by the GALLON. .... so now that’s replaced with Jeni’s peach. I also LOVE Jeni’s goat cheese and cherry and sweet corn. 

What is the first thing you notice about a person? Posture. Hair color. Smile. 

Football or baseball? Baseball is always going to be my favorite, but I love going to football games, too. 

Favorite doughnut? I am a bitch with simple tastes, I like regular glazed. Nothing chocolate. 

Last thing you ate? Aldi’s brand cheezits. 

What are you listening to? I have the TV on, but I’m not sure which Food Network show is on right now. 

If you were a crayon, what color would you be? I honestly have no clue, so I’m going to go with some sort of blue. 

What is your favorite smell? Limoncello candle from Bath and Body Works. Anything citrus. 

Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? I called Chris last night when I was over at my sister’s planting seeds. 

Hair color? Medium brown. I need to change that. 

Eye color? Blue. 

Favorite food to eat? Potatoes in any form. Pasta. Cheese. Bread. 

Scary movies or happy ending? It depends on the kind of mood I am in. I think that a lot of movies with happy endings feel really forced. 

Last movie you watched in a theater? I honestly think it might have been Joker in October. 

What color shirt are you wearing? Green camo Mike Shinoda hoodie.

Favorite holiday? Thanksgiving. 4th of July. 

Beer or wine? Beer, but no IPA. I can’t drink wine much because it always makes me feel like absolute shit the following day.

Night owl or morning person? I honestly might as well be considered nocturnal. 

Favorite day of the week? There’s more than one day of the week? Uhhhh I honestly don’t think I have a favorite. 

Favorite animal? Red panda. Giant panda. Rhino. 

Do you have a pet? Yep. Neptune currently lives with me, but my first cat Beckett is still living, too, and she’s at my sister’s because I took her home for Christmas break one year in college and my dad decided she wasn’t going anywhere ever again. 

[mycatsaidwhat]

shit i’ve heard high schoolers say pt. 14

-who the hell allowed high schoolers to have caffeine and hormones 

-i feel like we can equate my boredom to the amount of custards i’ve made this week 

-who needs LSD when you have acid rain

-what, you just orgasm to jazz now? 

-you’ve heard of daddy, get ready for doctor

-i’d imagine i’d taste unsalted and sad 

-but i have the right headphone, which means that I am the alpha 

-i put on this headband and gained about $3000 to my trust fund 

-(i just realized that the world is round)

WHAT KINDA DICK YOU BEEN SMOKING?!

-this picture may be pretty but there’s no goddamn cereal (picture was of a sunset)

-for personal reasons i will be drowning in my sorrows as i sleep all day

-minecraft hunger games is why i have performance anxiety 

-the fact that not all cheerios are honey nut cheerios got me fucked up man 

-(just go find the candy aisle!)

but andrew this is office depot

-a dutch a day keeps the doctor away 

-it’s too early for me to want to beat the shit out of everyone in this room 

-who even goes to the gym this early, this is crackhead stuff 

-i hate that i’m wide enough that i have to wear normal shoes again 

-at my age it is important not to care anymore 

dude you are 16