#I’m tagging everyone because I need to people to know this
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thebroccolination · 20 hours ago
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Soooo when I said, “There’ll likely be a loud minority openly complaining about Krist topping and Singto bottoming and much more silent disapproval,” in my last post, I was giving the fandom way too much credit.
According to friends on Twitter, there was indeed a significant backlash over the sex scenes portrayed in the novel, some fans even going so far as to @ the series’ official account to complain about it.
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(Don’t want PhiTam, yet tagging Krist first. Mixed signals, fam.)
Multiple folks say the mood among the fandom on Twitter at large right now seems to be mainly denial, that because the novel and series are written by different people, Singto’s character will surely play the top role in the series—even though he’s the bottom in the novel.
But, y’know:
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And I, uh. I mean. This is:
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Y’all?
Even outside the series, they’ve been—
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Yeah, that.
So like. Y’know.
I mean, listen. To be so viscerally clear here, the reason I’m excited about Krist playing the top is because he played the bottom in both of his previous BL roles. (KristSingto had two shorts for Baby Bright where Krist seems more top-leaning, but I guess it was vague enough for people to ignore if they didn’t want to see it.) So I’m glad he’s getting versatility as an actor.
But it’s also because he’s been mistreated in the past by many KristSingto fans who, since they perceive him to be “the bottom” or “the wife,” seem to think this means he’s got to be docile and submissive and sweet, even when he’s pushed too far. To be honest, I had the realization recently that maybe the reason so many Peraya chose to ignore interfans calling Krist homophobic for so many years could be that they didn’t care either way. As one of the OG fandoms, it seems that their fans skew older and more conservative, so it could be as simple as that. They knew he wasn’t homophobic, everyone did, but real life queer issues didn’t matter to them, so they didn’t care that interfans were absolutely decimating his reputation among the queer community when it was OG Peraya stalking him and harassing him that made him post that story in the first place.
I mean, not to invalidate the high emotions going on over on Twitter dot com, but I can’t believe this upset over Singto’s character bottoming for Krist’s character wasn’t limited to a few silly temper tantrums from fringe fans with outdated beliefs about queer people.
Honestly, that there’s anger over this at all says plenty about how they must perceive the bottom role. Being on top is hot, but being on bottom is shameful? (What is this, Ancient Rome?)
I hope y’all know I try as much as I can to avoid making posts about fandom negativity and toxicity. I think emphasizing the positive aspects is more helpful in the long run. But many in KristSingto’s fandom continually treat both of them like products, and I am truly tired of it. Many whitewash Singto, many belittle Krist, and they need to fix their attitudes.
Personally, I consider myself part of all three of the KristSingto fandoms: Yuyu (Krist), Peraya (KristSingto), and Samoonjaopa (Singto). So when I criticize any of them, I’m not trying to burn the house down. I’m saying, “Stop playing with matches in the house.”
Many Peraya boycotted “Be My Favorite” which, like, whatever, watch what you like. But many among that many also openly complained about it while it was airing. Some went so far as to bully Gawin, using alt accounts to call him a halfbreed and a leech. When I called out this behavior, I was accused by multiple Peraya of trying to make the fandom look bad, that those alt accounts were clearly run by other fans trying to do the same. When the focus, as far as I’m concerned, should have been on protecting and supporting Gawin. There were very few Peraya who showed support for Krist’s friendship with Gawin continuing publicly, and their quiet likes and endorsements of tweets criticizing Krist did far more damage to their reputation than me standing up for Gawin ever did.
While I’m doing this, lemme just address the fandom ridiculousness that’s been going on across the board over the past year, shall I?
Some Samoonjaopa complained about Singto’s lack of solo work last year compared to Krist’s and went so far as to @ Krist to tell him that he wasn’t doing enough to keep Singto steadily employed. Which? Isn’t Krist’s job??? And ignores the possibility that Singto can get his own work, is a seasoned talent at GMMTV in his own right, and maybe just wanted to relax last year since the man is a dedicated introvert who’s openly and repeatedly said he’s prioritizing his mental health more these days? And again: there are many in Singto’s fandom who are continually, constantly whitewashing his photos. Stop whitewashing Singto. You’re his fanbase. The people who are supposed to love him most for who he is, not the fictional person you’re photoshopping him into for your aesthetic preferences. How do you think he’s felt for the past decade seeing not only the media whiten his skin but his own fans? Portray his melanin or stop posting photos of him at all. If you can’t see how beautiful he is tan, you don’t deserve to call yourself Samoonjaopa.
Meanwhile, some Yuyus have continually moaned about Singto’s return, complaining about Krist’s lack of music projects even though Krist himself said he’ll be focusing on that after “The Ex-Morning” airs. He’s already been hospitalized this year? Stop pressuring him to film a series, host, take care of his family, and work on an album? They’ve also accused Singto of coming back to GMMTV because he ran out of money, that his freelance career was bombing, etc. Calling him desperate and a leech. (People really like to accuse people close to Krist as a leech, what is that.) What’s worse is that some of them don’t even dislike Singto—they just want to piss off the Peraya. But hasn’t Krist made it devastatingly clear that he adores Singto? Was it not enough when he had to call out one of his own solo fans for trash-talking Singto last year when he was already getting backlash for his friendship with Gawin?
Fans in all three fandoms need to reevaluate why they’re even here.
This applies to all fans in all fandoms everywhere: if you spend most of your time in fandom fighting and policing people and spreading anger and toxicity rather than lifting up the real people you’re ostensibly here to support, then you’re doing this wrong.
Love brought you here. Act like it.
I left Twitter because the situation there was too toxic to stand, even to stay for KristSingto and BounPrem, and while I haven’t been there for months, I did predict that some Peraya would be upset about a possible dynamic switch. I just overestimated their maturity about it, clearly.
I probably should have said all of this while I was on Twitter, but people have to realize it on their own or it won’t stick.
So what I’m going to do instead is go on promoting KristSingto to fans who haven’t had the chance to get to know them yet, because I love Krist and I love Singto, and I think they deserve more fans, new fans who don’t treat them like property.
Obligatory final note that of course this isn’t the entire fandom behaving badly. If you’ll notice, I used qualifiers in this entire post. Some, many, etc. There are many lovely people in all three fandoms, but the ones ruining everything are loud and need to be addressed for things to improve. Ignoring them hasn’t helped so far. I say this because sometimes people get very upset and don’t utilize close reading skills.
All this over top/bottom dynamic switch.
Told y’all it was brave of KristSingto to do it.
Now to hope no one bothers KristSingto about it at the book fair tomorrow. 👁️👁️
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avochele · 2 days ago
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The Idol - Ruby Red.
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tags. idol!woozi x idol!oc, fluff, angst
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headquarter. <previous chapter. - next chapter.> Track #3 - cherries.
synopsis. In wich a girl has a way too personal connection to a ceiling fan and in wich people need to learn that not everything is what it appears to be.
“People desire me. Because of red. Especially men. I became an object of desire. An object of love. An object that was made through the colour of red. I am red.”
warnings. toxic fans, obsession, anxiety, objectification(?), stalking, blood, obsessive crazy and toxic fans, oc is a simp for woozi (but honestly who isn't?), both are hopelessly in love and too dense to notice, I have no idea how recording a song or being an idol works so please excuse my messy excuse of a song production etc., obsessive fan incidents inspired by tvxq's sasaeng incidents (because no one in their right mind could come up with stuff like that) (more will be added if needed.)
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I rock back and forth on my feet as I wait for someone to open the door. 
The hallway is bright. The window on the other side of the hall takes up almost all the space on the wall. You can watch over half of Seoul from up here. 
I cross my arms in front of my chest and ring the doorbell again. The blue elephant is now stuck between my arm and my chest. Watching the door. 
As I realise no one would be coming to open the door for me, I place the elephant next to the door. 
Hopefully they’ll see it when they come back.
We’re sitting in a more secluded corner of the cafe we’re in. Sena sits in front of me sipping on her iced Americano. 
She has her MacBook open on the table, staring intensely at the screen. On the MacBook she had stuck the sticker of my first solo album. 
It’s red. It says in black elegant letters ‘yaksok’. Promise. It was meant as a promise to always love and cherish the fans and to never stray away from the person I was then. 
I’m not sure if I was able to keep that promise as everything changed drastically after s:rens disbandment. Three out of six members started to study, one became an actress and two started their soloist activities. 
Sena had started studying at Enha Women’s University. Modern Art. She’s the only one I stayed in contact with. I sometimes see Park Suhyeon at music shows or award shows. But more than a friendly hug, a smile or a wave is nothing that we deem necessary. 
On top of it all we both know that the friendliness between us is fake. But none of us would ever admit that in front of our fans. I sometimes feel a sense of guilt about this whole situation we found ourselves in. But at the end of the day I know it’s not our fault. 
It all happened because of not well enough thought through decisions that led to us not renewing our contract in 2018 and the six of us separating. 
Everyone always says that being an Idol in a band means having a second family. That wasn’t the case for us. There was always a clear favouritism from the company building a strong competitiveness between us. 
We were coworkers if anything but never friends, let alone family. 
It was all fake. 
"This is making me sick.“ Sena breaks the silence and pulls me from my thoughts. "Still nothing?“ I ask her when she continues to stare off her MacBook in a rather pissed off manner. 
She’s been waiting since I arrived here. 
"What exactly are you waiting for?“ I ask her. Emphasising the ‘exactly’. "A mail from the exhibition hall. They said they’d get back to me by today because of the exhibition in two months.“ 
I carefully reach over the table and close her laptop. "They can wait.“ 
She pushes her blonde hair out of her face and takes the small fork in front of her. "Yes they can wait.“ she says as she brutally divides the cake into two pieces, "but I can not.“ she continues, as she pushes the bigger piece into her mouth. "Two venues have already canceled. This is my last hope.“ she says, chewing the piece. 
I wonder if people would notice when I’d take the other piece of cake. "You want that?“ Sena asks me and just like on autopilot I shake my head and cross my arms in front of me. Great. I should have taken it. 
She looks at me with a raised eyebrow before eating the other half too. "You should slow down when eating, you know. I don’t want you to choke.“ I say to her as she washes the cake down with her drink. 
"You sound like Jina Eonnie, you know that?“ she states and I look up at the name of our former Band leader. Eonnie?
"Are you still in contact with her?“ I ask. Sena looks at me as if I had caught her doing something very illegal. 
"No. I am not.“ she says. I don’t believe her. "You said Eonnie.“ I say. She wouldn’t call her that if they hadn’t been in contact for at least multiple times a month. 
"I call you Eonnie too. Eonnie.“ She tries saving herself. "No, you don’t.“ 
She avoids my eyes. "You know I don’t judge you on meeting her. I would have just liked to know. She was my leader too, you know.“ I say a little quieter this time. 
"I know.“ She says and finally looks at me again. "I’m sorry I haven’t told you. She’s actually getting married this year.“ I look at her with wide eyes. I didn’t even know she had a boyfriend. 
"What with who?“ I ask stunned at the new information. "Lim Woojin“ she says as if it’s the most obvious answer in the world. 
Lim Woojin was Jina’s boyfriend. Is Jina’s boyfriend, I suppose. They have been together since our debut. Our management and company didn’t know. They had been livid when they found out. 
We had always tried to keep it a secret for as long as possible. That was one of the few things where we actually worked as a team. Getting our boyfriends - or One Night stands - out of the dorm as quietly and unnoticed as possible. 
I had no Idea they were still together. 
"I thought they had broken it off in the last year of our contract.“ I say more as a question than anything else. 
"They did. But they got back together shortly after our contract ended.“ Sena must have known for a long time if the nonchalant tone meant anything. "I’m sure you’ll get an invitation. You don’t have to come though. I know how hard it is right now.“ 
She and Taeja were the only people that I had told about my paranoia. And the ‘cherry problem’ as Sena likes to call it. Even now it’s there. Sitting in a corner where only I can see it. Waiting. Watching.
"No. I’d like to come. I’ll see if it fits with my schedule and see then.“ I say taking a sip of my iced Coffee. 
Sena nods. Her eyes slightly distance. She’s not looking at me. More past me. "By the way, did you bring anyone from the company with you?“ she asks, lowering her voice and coming slightly closer. "No, why?“ I ask her. 
She breathes in deeply and answers: "There's a guy that has been looking at us for a good while now. I didn’t think much of it until he started pointing his phone at us.“ 
I freeze.
I’m sitting with my back to the other customers. It became a habit. I hoped no one would recognize me like that. Involuntarily I start trying to think of a reason for what would have given me away. 
Absent-mindedly I thread my hand through my curls. I didn’t feel like straightening my hair this morning. 
I pull the dark green baseball cap more into my face. My hair falls in wild curls over my shoulder. “Do you think he recognized us?” I ask Sena while shielding my face with my hair and leaning closer to her. 
She looks at me amused. “Well I’m sure he didn’t recognize me.” she says and leans back in her seat. I close my eyes. My face turning sour. She’s right. She’s been out of the media for a while now. Sena had dyed her hair blonde after disbandment. She said she couldn’t look in the mirror. Everything she sees is the Idol that didn’t make it. There’s no way they would recognize her after six years. 
“Do you want to come over to the company? I only have to finish recording today.” I suggest. In my studio we would definitely be able to talk without anyone filming us. 
She chews on the inside of her cheek. “You don’t have to if you feel uncomfortable.”I look at her, tilting my head slightly. Still shielding my face with my hair. 
She has been in my studio before, even though she often gets uncomfortable and excuses herself soon after. The aftermath of our group days. “Oh no it’s okay. Probably better to talk there anyway.” 
“Is he still looking?” I ask, trying to find the best moment to leave. I search through my bag for my face mask I stuffed in there earlier. Sena packs her laptop into her bag not looking away from the man behind me. 
“He’s not looking. Let’s go. Now!” she says and is already halfway to the door. I stumble after her. We’re walking fast to the company across the street. 
“He’s not following us right?” Sena turns around. “I don't think he is.” I nod not being able to form a coherent sentence as I try to catch my breath while simultaneously trying to stop my laughter. 
A short quiet melody plays as the door opens “Did you see how I almost fell as I got up?” I almost choke on my laughter as I turn around looking away from Sena. 
In front of me sits the most beautiful person I have ever laid my eyes on. 
Red. Everything is red. Now it’s louder. Not a background noise anymore but a loud prominent reminder. It jumped out. Laughing at me. Happy it caught me off guard. I might have laughed too if my heart would have let me.
He has his slightly long hair tied together in the back, leaving a few black strands of hair falling into his face. Beautiful. 
I feel a light push from behind me. I must have stopped abruptly. “What’s wrong?” Sena asks from behind me. I step aside, so she can see him too. 
I don’t see her reaction as I still cannot redirect my eyes from him. “What are they doing here?” She whispers. 
Beomju and Woozi are sitting with their backs to us. They are both wearing headphones, occasionally writing something down. 
“Is that Woozi from SEVENTEEN?” she continues, leaning closer to me. I nod slowly with my mouth slightly agape. “You know you should close your mouth if you don’t want flies flying in.” 
I close my mouth. 
I start towards Beomju. The red specks following my vision. Trying to keep a healthy safety distance between the black haired producer and me, I knock on the desk in front of my main producer. 
Behind me, Sena slowly lets herself sink down on my couch. Beomju looks up and takes his headphones off. “You’re late.” he says and stops the track, which makes Woozi look up. 
Those dark brown eyes. So pretty. 
“I don’t think I am.” I say slowly. I’m not sure if he heard me. My attention is on the singer next to him, who has just taken his headphones off. He leans back in his chair. My chair. 
Attractive. 
“You're half an hour late, we said three thirty not four.” he says, seemingly not noticing my lack of attention on him. 
“I kept her away, I didn’t know she had something scheduled this afternoon.” Sena speaks up from my couch. I would have defended her if my attention wouldn’t be stuck somewhere else. Beomju and Woozi look at her momentarily. They both stop at her. Maybe recognizing her? I don’t know. 
“Sorry I didn’t look at the time. We got held up.” I say glancing at the SEVENTEEN member. He looks back at me and suddenly I am hyper aware of the red colouring my vision. 
“Don’t apologise to him, apologise to me. You kept me waiting.” Beomju says while suppressing a chuckle. I look at him annoyed. 
“Sorry I was late and you had to put up with him for so long.” I say directly looking at Woozi, finally overcoming the red volcano eruption and sitting down next to Sena. 
I see how Woozi looks away and unsuccessfully tries to hide a smile. 
Beomju lets out an annoyed sigh. “I let Jihoon look over the last two b-sides we haven’t recorded yet. Give it a listen and tell us what you think.” Beomju says, handing me his set of headphones. 
I look at Sena. “Go ahead, I'll wait for my mail.” She says pulling out her laptop. I nod, taking the headphones from Beomju. 
At some point as we went over to recording, Sena had left to work on her own projects. Beomju had left too because officially the schedule had ended. But because it was my last schedule for today, I decided to stay a little longer. 
Woozi had suggested that he’d also stay because he finished all of his own schedules and would work on his own songs anyway. So a little change wouldn’t hurt. 
So now I am alone with him. With the possibly most beautiful person I have ever met. 
The red hasn’t left my vision since I came here. I feel a weird sense of comfort. It’s not too pushy. Not too loud. Just there. And somehow it makes me feel warm. Like the soup at my parents' restaurant. With people talking and cutlery scraping on plates. 
Normally my heart would start racing. My hands would start getting clammy. But right now there isn’t anything like that.
Yes my heart is beating way faster than normal but I’m not sure if it’s because of the red or the person next to me being dangerously close from touching my shoulder. 
“What do you think?” he asks and presses play. The final version of the last b-side flows out of the speakers. It’s beautiful. But honestly what is there that is not good that this man has produced. 
“I like it. It’s really good. Thank you.” I say looking at him. He smiles and looks at the screen again as my voice continues to flow out of the speakers. 
“Of course. I’ve liked your songs for a long time now. Thank you for letting me work with you.” He says and leans back in his chair. 
My heart jumps against my ribcage. I didn’t expect him to say something like that. He likes my songs. 
"Thank you. I like yours too.“ I say without thinking. I like yours too? Have you never talked to a guy? He smiles and presses a few buttons. 
"We should-“
"We should-“ we both start at the same time. He laughs lightly. His laugh sends sparks of red, warm electricity down to my chest and stomach. The soup is going down to my stomach. His laugh is pretty.
"You go first.“ I say looking at him. His hair is hanging slightly chaotically down his forehead by the way he continuously raked his hand through it over the past few hours. 
"We should probably head home now. It’s kinda late.“ he says with a side glance to the clock hanging next to the door. 2:48am. 
Oh. "Oh yes. Yes you’re right.“ I search for my phone between the stacks of papers in front of me. Slightly disappointed that our little work session ended. I enjoyed working with him. 
Slowly I get up looking for my bag. "What were you going to say?“ Woozi asks as I walk over to the couch. 
We should grab something to eat sometime. 
"Oh nothing. You took the words right out of my mouth.“ I don’t see his reaction. 
The ride down in the elevator is quiet. "Thank you for working on my songs today. I don’t think I would have gotten to finish them today without you.“ I break the silence. 
"Of course.“ It's quiet again. "If you need help with anything, I'll gladly help.“ he adds after a short pause in which I try to focus on the level numbers changing. Doesn’t help that they’re red, of all colours. 
I nod thanks. "Was that Kim Sena earlier?“ I look at him surprised. I hadn’t expected him to say more. Let alone ask about Sena. 
"Yeah, we met for coffee.“ I say, looking at him through the curls that had fallen into my face. I push them away. "It's great that you’re still friends with them. Even though it’s been a while since you disbanded.“ 
He knows about s:ren. I bite the inside of my cheek. Don’t let him notice anything. Everyone thinks you were best friends. Family. Don’t let him notice the lie. 
I lean back against the mirror and smile. "Yeah it is.“ Lie. 
“I like your hair like that, by the way.” He says looking straight ahead, “It suits you.”. I feel my ears going red. “Thank you. I don’t get to wear it like that often.” I say. Truth. “Why?” he asks. “The company likes it better straight.” He nods slowly. I wait for him to say more. He looks like he wants to say more. 
He doesn’t. The door slides open. 
“Thank you Woozi. For tonight I mean.” 
“Jihoon.” 
“What?”
“Call me Jihoon.” 
The hallway to my apartment is empty. The blue elephant is the only thing filling the empty space. 
They didn’t take it with them? They must have seen it. Maybe it’s not theirs? I should ask them the next time I see them. How else would it have come up here? 
I crouch down and take it in my hands. I turn it around as if that would tell me where it had come from. It’s a plushie. A normal blue elephant plushie. 
I get up still looking at the elephant and open my door. I place it on my dining table. 
I turn on my ceiling fan and close my curtains before I fall face first onto my bed. Marie moves from my pillow to the back of my head, curling into a white fluffy ball. I feel her soft white tail stroking against my back. Almost as if to say I’m here. You’re not alone. 
The red had succumbed to a big mass in the back of my mind. Not as prominent. But there. And never leaving my side. 
It’s watching me. Something’s watching me. Waiting.
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TAGLIST. @hazeljisulatte @thepoopdokyeomtouched @berriebeetles @rvebyntvr @neivivenaj @cookiearmy
This work will be simultaneously published on my Wattpad [click here.]
©AVOCHELE, 2024
All rights reserved. This story or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the publisher except for use of brief quotations in a story review.
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the-whispers-of-death · 9 months ago
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I know some writers don’t like it when being asked about oh when’s the next part or to continue xyz series (which that is super valid), but I’ll like it if you give me like a suggestion on where to go next in the series.
Like I have a request in my inbox to continue the DILF!Reader series and like I want to do it soo badly, but I’ve hit writer’s block and have no idea what to write for it. The answer is evading me.
And while I do have an NSFW request for the same series, I’m waiting until we’re further into their relationship to do that specific request.
So I’m truly just stuck. Despite the fact that I wishh I knew what was next for the series.
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pilonciillo · 3 months ago
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lol didn’t think someone giving money would give me anxiety
#to the judge that’s gonna see this case next year and the lawyer that is representing it assuming the state idk how this all works#why has the person to say the least get to go a whole year without consequence? a known criminal who after stealing from me and being#released and again getting arrest now for gang violence or some shit she was let go? she maybe associated to the group that killed that boy#last year. and here i am panicking because im afraid to carry cash. im paranoid that imma go outside and my car will be missing. i’m get#panic attacks when i drive to close to that gym and tired going back but physically cannot get out of my car and i start to cry in the#parking lot. i’m not sitting at work shaking forcing myself not to cry because someone handed me cash and i’m afraid someone is going to#steal my purse again. you think that’s not a big deal and honestly i didn’t think it was until my purse was gone. my cards stolen and used.#my key missing EVERYTHING in my purse GONE. so many things in there plus the purse i had money and all that is stuff i paid for now im out#all that cash i’m out 500$ for a key replacement i stopped feeling safe leaving my house all my non replaceable things gone and everyone#spoke to me like it was my fault and had to stand their crying while adults told me not to use a gym locker ??? but in the same breath telli#telling me this isn’t the first time she’s done this she has a warrant for her arrest she’s known to steal cars i’m the problem and there’s#nothing they can do to help me. so while i cry because all the money i had lost and never got back i had to do ALL the work to call my bank#track where my cards were being spent at call the jpay line she transferred money to look up the person she cashapped money to call the#business she was actively spending money at ask the manger if she is currently there and if they could give the police all the receipts and#video of her there for them to act like the hero’s for my brother and i tracking her down while you all belittled me#FUCK YOU AND FUCK HER i can’t be fucking normal about STUPID mundane shit i’m stuck here shaking and crying and what you tell me later it’s#not a big deal? give me all the content of your car and wallet or purse or backpack take nothing out and see what you’re left with and how m#much you need to spend to drive your car again and to tow your car home let a stranger have all your cards and address and tell me you feel#safe#OH and for the gym to tell me they know about her she used to be an employee there she doesn’t have a membership so they don’t know how she#got in and they can’t help but she did steal from another girl that night and an employee last month and who knows how many more ppl like#that’s convenient you pos sounds like she has friends that still work at the gym and open the back door for her or just let her in that’s#crazy no ? and this is all alleged because when if i lost all these things i can’t speak on what did or didn’t happen that’s some crazy bull#shit anyways the towing company felt bad for me maybe because i hadn’t stopped crying they gave me the key replacement number and told me to#mention he referred me so i could get a discount and the layman felt back for me because when i called him i started to cry and when he told#me the price i cried harder so 500$ was the cheapest but pretty much my whole check#key man*#bad** LET ME FIX TAGS#allegedly all these ppl are privileged kids from a privileged background that grew up in a sheltered community and thing there’s no#consequences to their actions because of the lack of accountability from their parents who willing pay for people to look the other way
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weaselishmcdiesel · 2 months ago
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#cat creech#cat creech is my vent tag i think. block it if you don’t want my venting#venting in these tags pls ignore this post if you don’t want to read vent#I feel like I don’t care about stories enough. I don’t read books watch movies or shows#the games I play I’ve already played before or have no story at all. I feel childish and trapped in familiarity#if I could slightly different versions of the same story over and over again I’d be happy. I don’t need stories at all it seems.#I even avoid it often. would opt for comedy or something baseless over a story.#and I wouldn’t be upset over this if I didn’t major in animation#I don’t want to be a director I don’t want to be a writer I don’t want to be in charge of story#but this stupid fucking school makes you do every part of the pipeline. I don’t read or watch anything so unsurprisingly my story is boring#my story for my thesis I mean. it’s uninspiring I’m not proud of it. and it’s changed so much from where it was in the beginning#it doesn’t even feel like mine anymore. I don’t like it and it’s not mine. I don’t want anything to do with it#and I think I realized that being a storyteller means having lessons to tell people or experiences to share#I don’t have either of those things. my life is uninteresting and I don’t learn from my mistakes. my mistakes themselves are boring#all my issues are boring and privileged. no one needs a story or lesson from me. what the fuck can I say that hasn’t been said#and even if I did have a story to tell I don’t want to? I don’t care to teach people or share my experience. that’s never been what art-#-was about for me. art is a selfish escape for me. nothing more. nothing artsy feely or intellectual. ‘why do you draw’ idk it’s fun#I remember old classes where people answered why theyre artists. everyone had interesting answers and here i was-#- I said because it’s fun. like a fucking childish moron. never should have pursued art as a job. you have to want to be an artist to make-#a living from it. I don’t want to be an artist. I just am one as a byproduct of drawing. not the same thing.#I don’t even want to fucking animate anymore. I don’t know what the fuck happened to me but I hate it I hate it so much#I miss when making art wasn’t a task or a job or homework. I really fucking do#I’m tearing up#anyway#weasel speaks#vent
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cuteniaarts · 8 months ago
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Digitalised + coloured + redesigned version of my Suiren and Vaatu sketch from two days ago, as promised!!
Coming up with Suiren’s design was a very long process of trying and failing because after you’ve drawn 9+ different versions of one character, the creativity starts to run a little dry, but I’m actually really proud of this one, she looks absolutely adorable <3
(Also yeah I did mostly just scribble Vaatu’s pattern because who has the energy to draw the all out accurately. Not me, that’s who, I’m chronically tired. People who draw him on the regular have my utmost respect. He’s still a funky little guy though :D)
Bonus, Raava incessantly screaming inside Suiren (and being completely ignored because Suiren is tired of her) while all this is happening:
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#and yeah I did say I’d do a fuckass background but all my energy went to figuring out Suiren’s design#plus I suck at backgrounds so.. woe. LoK screenshot be upon ye#my art#artists on tumblr#the legend of korra#avatar suiren au#original character#sotrl suiren#vaatu#I don’t really know what to say in these tags lmao#usually I reach the tag limit really really easily but between my previous post and answering that ask I’ve ran out of things to say#someone please indulge me in this au I have Way Too Many Thoughts about it#hmm…#you know. I think people often make different avatar aus because they dislike Korra or think she’s a bad avatar#I don’t. I love Korra. I would kill and die for her#(says the red lotus stan. yes I’m well aware. no need to call me out)#and I think she’s a good avatar who was dealt a shitty hand both in universe and by the show’s production team#I’m making this au BECAUSE I love Korra. if Suiren is the avatar Korra gets to be a normal SWT girl#she’ll get to grow up with her parents. not isolated and degraded all the time for not being perfect. maybe she’d have a sibling or two#and Suiren gets spared her sotrl trauma too. win win for everyone!!#(I return Suiren gets the weight of the world on her shoulders lmao. but it’s fine. 1. she isn’t alone in it. she has her family#2. three quarters of the LoK threats are basically automatically eliminated for her. the RL are her parents. she fuses with Vaatu#and all she has to do to defeat Kuvira is to take her dress off 😁 /hj. basically. she’ll be okay. better than in sotrl at least)#also look. I love Suiren. she’s my dear child who’s been with me since I was 12. of course I wanna make her the main character in everything#and dark avatar Korra AUs have been done countless times before me. Kat’s doing one right now!! I just wanna do something that’s my own#and also I wanna focus less on pain and trauma for once and more on the sheer hilarity of the shenanigans that will occur post-fusion#cause this isn’t Adumbration where Korra lets Raava go and fuses with Vaatu instead. here Suiren’s got both of them at the same time#and they have 10000 years’ worth of grievances to air out. it’s like living with your divorced parents#trust me I would know. except mine aren’t divorced. they’re Worse and everyone wishes they’d just separate#anyway. that aside. Suiren’s not getting any sleep any time soon while those two duke it out
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nymphoutofwater · 3 months ago
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getting ready for a party im hosting tomorrow and i feel like im forgetting something. oh i know!!! accidentally starting tumblr discourse bc i was curious about other people’s social norms!!! what should I ask this time?
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enterstellars · 2 days ago
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been reaaaaaally struggling with the whole disabled thing as of late
#i just got back from my trip and my god i just. the reason i like going home or going on these trips or whatever is because i have help.#i don’t have help whenever i’m at home and it’s fucking exhausting. i live by myself and while i love that autonomy it’s not feasible#i definitely need help on the living day to day end of things and for the majority of my life i just thought of it as#i like people doing stuff for me so i have no responsibilities which like. fair. living is hard. but like…no it’s not just that#there’s this whole other disability layer and it’s so clear when i live with someone else for even just a few days#i currently live by myself because i really do hate roommates and i’m not a good one but like. goddamn. maybe it’s time?#maybe i go back to having a roommate idk. i just. now that im understanding that i’m actually disabled it’s hard to#come back from a trip and not notice the difference you know?#also on another note very tough to see everyone like. already finished with sunrise on the reaping and i know it’s gonna take my ass a month#minimum to finish that book. easily. and like. idk that just sucks! cause i wanna talk i wanna engage but usually no one waits#idk i just. it really fucking sucks. people have always been ‘smarter’ than me because hey howdy hey i have a learning disability but i#didn’t know that’s actually what it was for years so i just kinda. didn’t speak up? and then now when i finally have an idea#i’m second guessing myself because no what if i got it wrong what if i read it wrong#like. it’s just not great and it’s really hitting me today just how fucking disabled i am and how that’s impacted my life drastically#anyway. it’s been rough mentally so i’m gonna do some laundry which is surprisingly a simple thing for me usually#and then relax by playing zelda or writing idk which. maybe both???#ask to tag idk if y’all want something extra on this.#i'm rambling again aren't i
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fancylala4 · 10 months ago
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“Blah blah blah I want marvelous to change things up little! Blah blah I don’t want them to go back to what it used to be. Blah blah sdv was made by one person and I put in more hours into that game than I did with rune factory 4 and story of seasons ever did!”
Good, go play that game instead of whining about sos/rf games not being like it on the fucking sos/hm/rf forum for the 100th time. Not everyone likes that game (I hated every single thing about sdv) and wants sos/rf to be exactly like that game.
I know I say this many times before but I will say it again. Sos: poot did change everything up and guess what? Everyone in the community hated that game. So much that they are worried that the next game is just like it. The last thing this company needs is to further alienate their audience by taking out and changing things that made them love the franchise.
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canarydarity · 1 year ago
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This post will make sense to exaclty 3 people here. But one day I will write a scene emotionally equivalent to the Baltimore reunion here in this fandom….one day…And the payoff will be so so excellent
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vaguehotels · 5 months ago
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hey just a reminder that sometimes you have to accept that you’re going to have to have feelings without a filter, and you’re going to have to tell people that you care about them, and you’re going to have to start saying i love you. if you want affection and love and adoration you cannot close yourself off forever and ever. keep up your walls as you must to protect yourself but not forever. and if you feel like you can’t ever let them down then i’m sorry. i hope you find someone that makes you feel safe enough to start saying and feeling these things.
#lolaa.txt#little thing about emotions.#i’m not affectionate. not really.#im a deflector and i laugh off affection and love a lot#and all it has ever done for me is push away people who want to help me so so badly.#and it’s a slow change. slowwwww. the tiniest steps .#and i go back so often.#today my boyfriend said he missed me and that i was pretty when i woke up and i told him i was going to never speak to him again#because i cannot accept these things and it so so hard to say that i appreciate it#but i know i know he needs to hear it and he needs to feel appreciated yknow?#and im working on it im trying so hard#especially when you have been fucked over for saying your feelings in the past. it’s hard. it’s so hard. and i’m sorry#just. tell your friends you love them. tell people when you’re excited or happy.#smile when you get to do fun things. laugh at jokes! scream and yell and cry and hit things and grin and be out there#numbness will not fix what problems you have. it won’t.#it’s comfortable but you can’t have love without discomfort sometimes#sorry about all this i’m just . i’m having a bad day and it’s really hard today to be open to everyone#so this is my try#i am upset. and i miss my friends. and i love my mom and i am also mad at her because i am frustrated with the world right now.#and i am tired but because its tiring to force myself to exist and feel#i need to relearn how to be a child about it#and that’s okay#that’s all ; sorry for the long tags. thank you for being here
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peapod20001 · 1 year ago
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Birthday you say?! Hm..... by any chance do you have any particularly favorite oc? That you would want to see fanart of? Jk jk..... unless👀👀👀
Lol Shirley is usually my go to when ppl ask what character they should draw. I’ve had them longer than most and they are easier to get for some people than my other characters. Also you can just dress him in literally anything and it works so that’s a bonus lol
Some others I’m more biased towards are Felix and Rory, I think really hard about em lol. Honestly I’d enjoy anything someone makes with any of my ocs especially if it’s a character THEY like cus I enjoy seeing which of my ocs ppl fancy hahahagahaga
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sometimes I’m scared that other people only think my outfits eat when they emphasize my waistline and make me look skinny and not when it’s an outfit that I put a lot of care into because it’s another form of expression for me
#silv's back on her bs#like I know I probably sound like ‘boohoo it must be so hard for other people to think you’re skinny’ but I just mean that like.#I’m really proud of the outfits I put together#I like my style and I like how I’ve spent the last couple years exploring with it and letting it be another extension of myself#and I’ve created a (very small) rep around having cool outfits#but the other day someone complimented my outfit and don’t get me wrong I felt nice that day#but it was literally just low rise sweatpants and a cropped tee (ie heavens forbid I had skin showing and my stomach was out)#like was it cute? sure but it definitely wasn’t an Outfit#and I got a lot more compliments because on it then I do on a normal basis#and idk. I wasn’t the biggest fan of that#and I’m scared that I’m also starting to use it as a crutch when I’m putting clothes on before I leave#like the other day I was putting an outfit together and instead of reaching for something that I think is really cool and being creative#I was genuinely met with a wave of like ‘okay but how attractive am I gonna be if I wear this’ or ‘would other ppl think I look good’#which is FUCKED#because I LOVE clothes!!!! I LOVE dressing up!!!! and I KNOW that I don’t need to look good for others that beauty and style doesn’t#have to be conventional that there’s so many cool things that lie outside that framework. And I used to be outside of that framework too#but UGH I hate that everyone else’s opinions on MY body are starting to get to me#anyways i feel like this should have a cw but idk what to add#ask to tag#ig(?)
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heir-of-the-chair · 2 years ago
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See I use tone tags, not because I usually find myself needing tone tags to understand other people, I just need everyone to know exactly what I mean at all times and make sure that it doesn’t get misconstrued or misunderstood.
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scionshtola · 2 years ago
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i love. y’shtola. so much
#way back in ARR when she was letting everyone know she thought the beast tribes were being treated terribly#and that the people responsible for that had to accept responsibility for the primals#and then when minfilia sends the wol to ask her what she thinks about the scions accepting money from other organizations/patrons she’s like#no because i want to tell people when they’re at fault without needing to spare their feelings 😌 and she’s right to do so!!!#and then she didn’t like how the crystal exarch was doing things. keeping secrets etc so she just. LEFT!!! and did what she felt she had to#she didn’t like uri keeping secrets so she told him. she didn’t like the way thanny was reading ryne so she told him even when he was angry#she literally had to separate herself from him so she wouldn’t say MORE#and all the times she puts herself in harms way for the people and causes she cares about it#ugh. i love cori’s tiny very direct impatient but empathetic and kind and also kind of mean wife i love her so much#also love that she can curse to an extent that makes BIGGS blush#and when she rejects magnai and he is so mad but she’s just like i don’t have time for this agshdjdks#i got here btw by way of that shtola and squelch gifset and was thinking about how he’s like ‘you are not people to me so it’s not murder’#well is it murder if shtola uses her staff to blow you up. what about that!#i need a text post tag#clearly i am doing so well today friends. so well.#*thanny was TREATING ryne omg. i’m not going back to fix that
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favroitecrime · 2 years ago
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twitter whacking that “i want it all” performance with kourtney and carlos & saying seb should’ve been ryan… maybe i don’t hate twitter
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