#I’m sorry I’m a failure. I’m sorry I’m too weak
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6#-> 💌: a letter has arrived from satoru gojo.
dear y/n.
i’ve been selfish, y/n. so selfish. sorry for not starting it like i usually do, sweetheart, but i have to be quick with this. i never told you how much i relied on you, how much i needed you to stay by my side. you’ve seen the mask, the facade. you’ve seen me pretending to be the untouchable, invincible one. but you need to know— i’m terrified. terrified of losing everything. terrified of dying. terrified of not being able to protect you, or anyone else.
but more than that, i’m sorry. i’m sorry for every time i pushed you away. every time i made it seem like i didn’t need you when i did.
i wanted to protect you, y/n. i wanted to save you from this fate, from the pain of losing me. but now, i realize that i’m the one who’s done this. i’m the one who’s failed. i know this is gonna hurt you, which is gonna hurt me way more, even after death.
i’m sorry for all the things i said. for all the things i’ve done. but now, i don’t have time to fix it. i don’t have time to make it right. all i can do is hope that you’ll keep fighting after i’m gone. keep pushing forward. because there’s still hope. there’s still a way to stop him, even if i’m not there to see it.
i’m sorry i couldn’t protect you like i promised. i’m sorry that i didn’t love you in the right ways, didn’t give you everything you deserved. i’m sorry i never let you see some parts of me that were just satoru, not the strongest, not the guy who’s supposed to help people, not the guy who's childish and can't shut up sometimes— but the man who would’ve done ANYTHING to keep you happy.
i wish i had more time. i wish i could be with you when the world doesn’t feel like it’s crashing down. but the truth is, i know i won’t make it out of this one. i’m sorry for that, more than you’ll ever know.
and that’s the worst part, isn’t it? i never wanted you to see me like this- weak, vulnerable. it’s not something i’m good at. i never let anyone see the cracks. i should’ve told you everything. i kept you out because i didn’t want you to worry. i didn’t want you to feel like you had to carry this burden with me. but i was wrong. i should’ve let you in. i should’ve trusted you more. i should’ve let you love me the way you wanted to.
and now.. now it’s too late. you’re going to hate me for all the times i pushed you away, for all the times i acted like it didn’t matter, like you didn’t matter. but it did. you always did. i just didn’t know how to say it. didn’t know how to show you. i didn’t think i deserved to have you that close to me. but i do. and now i’m losing you. losing everything.
please don’t blame yourself. please. this is all on me. on my failure. i’ve known for a while that this was coming. i just thought i had more time. i thought maybe i could fix it. but it’s too late.
i guess that’s what i’m trying to say in this letter: i’ve made mistakes, and i’m not perfect. but i did my best. and maybe that’s all any of us can do in the end. do their best and still make mistakes.
i want you to know that i’ll be thinking of you. i wish i could’ve done more for you. i’ll be honest with you, i always thought i’d have at least a little more time. but if nothing else, know that i’m grateful for the time that i had with you. i’ve had a lot of great moments with everyone. even though i acted like i had everything figured out, you kept me grounded in a way that i never told you enough.
if i don’t make it back, keep going. keep pushing forward. i’ll be rooting for you— hell, i’ll be watching from somewhere, if there’s a "somewhere" to be. if the somewhere is in your heart, then please let me stay there.
i want you to know that i’ve always loved you. more than you’ll ever know. and i’m sorry. so fucking sorry for all the times i took you for granted, for all the times i made you think i didn’t care, when in reality, you were all i ever cared about.
don’t cry for me when i’m gone. i’m sorry. i’m so sorry.
goodbye, y/n. i hope i’ll be able to send you one last letter. i love you baby, always have and always will.
p.s. i’ll always be with you, even if you can't see me. take care of yourself, y/n. that's all i ever wanted for you.. please give satoru the third a kiss for me every time you see him. that poor kitty.
#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#jjk x reader#jjk x you#jjk x y/n#jjk x gn!reader#jjk x gender neutral reader#jujustsu kaisen x reader#jujustu kaisen x you#jjk satoru#gojo satoru x you#gojou satoru x reader#satoru gojo x reader#jjk gojo#gojo x reader#gojo x you#gojo x y/n#satoru x reader#satoru x you#gojo satoru#satoru gojo#love#love notes#love letters#angst#jjk angst#jujustu kaisen angst#jjkangst#gojo death#seraphina's letters ✎
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having no reason to live really sucks because what am I struggling for?
#personal fuity shit#tw depression#tw suicide mention#living is hard and being alive sucks#yet I have to keep doing this shit everyday and for what?#I’m just doing whatever people put in front of me and I struggle and I work my ass off#but for what?#I struggle with simple task and everyday activities#my therapist keeps telling me I’m stubborn and ‘‘treatment-resistant’’#I get exhausted doing the simplest shit like washing my hair#but what am I even doing all this for?#I literally have no future plans and dreams#I just want to die and I’m tired of people getting mad at me over it#if people want me alive so badly they should try to help me more with it#but that’s selfish of me to ask and I know this is not how it works and I know I sound like a spoiled brat#I just want to die. man#this fatigue everyday is killing me#I don’t want to keep doing this anymore and then having to hide all I’m feeling because it makes others mad#I’m sorry I’m a failure. I’m sorry I’m too weak#I’ll have to keep going. even if it kills my mind. even if it destroys my body#even if I have to keep on cutting myself to cope. I’ll have to keep going#until I finally colapse and can’t go on anymore
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♡ 𝐓𝐨 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐈𝐬 𝐓𝐨 𝐁𝐞 𝐎𝐧𝐞 | 𝐎𝐭𝟖 𝐀𝐭𝐞𝐞𝐳 ♡
Day thirty-One - Dungeons and Dragons (Gang Bang)
【Synopsis】 : You want, needed to prove that you could achieve just as much greatness like the other guild members. So what better than a hunt that only you and your team can solve.
『Word count』 : 6.56k
-> Genre: Adventure Romance. SMUT. Sprinkle of angst.
Pairing: Ot8!Ateez x Fae!Reader
[Warnings] : Insults. Bar fighting. Mentions of Hongjoong being fwb with the reader. Pet Names. Tension!! Swearing. Getting trapped in a cave. Love confessions. Making out. Oral (multiple rec). Fingering. Breasts play and nipple play. Squirting. Cum eating? Inappropriate use of powers. Multiple orgasms. Unprotected sex. Rough sex. Manhandling. Dirty talk. Dom/sub dynamics. Marking. Biting. Blood drinking. Slight primal play. Sweet kisses. Facial. Slight size kink. Tummy bulge. Cum everywhere. Double penetration
Note: OH MY GOD HAPPY HALLOWEEN EVERYONE!! Wow. I honestly can not believe we actually got here. 34 fics done and dusted. Ahh. Thank you all for enjoying my work (Ima be more gushy when I make a post later), but!! I will add, lowkey forgot reader had wings in this fic...sooo. just uh pretend they're retractable or something cause whoops silly me was too focused on reader getting dick to worry about her wings. Sorry, ahh.
Networks: @cromernet @wonderlandnet @illusionnet @k-vanity
Masterlist | Navigation | Kinktober List | Tip Jar ♡
A little Fae like you was never seen as equal to anyone when it came to the hunting games. Every time you came to local bars looking for work, most contractors would just laugh, some even mocking you, saying you were just a little frail Fae. Not cut out for the bounty-hunting life.
You beg to differ.
You have fought your fair share of Orcs, Vampires and devil spawn. You weren't afraid to get a little dirty. But yet, one drunk can take a look at you, seeing your soft sheer wings and dub you weak. You were on your way through another town after having word of an impossible hunt. One that no one has ever been able to complete or lived to tell of their failures. But you had confidence on your side, cause unlike the lonely brutes you had agility, flexibility and most importantly magic.
They went through the trails with a ‘me hit thing first talk maybe later’. You planned to show all the hunters in the community that you were worth it. That every piece of gold you earned was because you knew how to fight and hold yourself. That you were equal to them.
“No.”
“What do you mean no!?” You were fuming at this point, having travelled all this was only for the dungeon master to tell you no bluntly to your face.
“I mean no. It’s a team quest. You need a team and besides…” He looked you up and down with a perverted look, a look you were all too familiar with. “You aren't exactly, hunter material princess.”
Your eye twitched at that last remark. You’ve heard about other hunters going in alone, so why have they seemingly changed the rules? Why now, when you wanted to try the trail, you weren't qualified, yet again. Sighing in defeat, you mumbled to yourself while heading for the door. If the dungeon master was not going to gift you passage, you’d find another way. “Stupid fuck, doesn’t even know what I’m capable o—Oof…”
“Hey, watch it!” A tall orc growls in front of you, sneering a huff in your direction. You had walked right into him without even realising, too focused in your own mind to notice the idiot lug of green mass blocking the front door.
“How about you get out of the doorway.” You spat back, looking up at the hideous beast. It felt like the tavern had gone silent upon seeing a tiny fae like yourself talk with such confidence towards such a beastly creature. But the beast did not falter at your words unlike the crowd, no, it laughed instead.
“And what are you going to do, pewny little pixie.” The orc hollowed, his wrinkled belly jiggling like a bowl of old porridge. Your face turned red, while your wings flared.
“I am not a pixie, you half-sighted boar!!” The tension in the pub thickened, seeing the large orc change colour. You had successfully angered the beast. In the corner of your eye, you can see the Orc reach for his hatchets, but before he could put skin to metal a whistle echoed through the hot air, stopping everyone's movements.
"There you are." A deep voice caught everyone's attention. It was another orc, but only he was smaller, less green. It was Jeong Yunho, or more known as Stormcaller. “I thought I lost you.”
You gulped quietly at the feeling of his arm draping over your shoulder, his musky scent invading your senses. The orc that you have just been fighting with scoffed looking at the seemingly “display of affection”. In orc morals, if an orc has a claim on someone then another orc cannot do no harm. So with a frustrated grumble, the stinky lump goes to walk away.
“Let's get outta here, hmm.” Yunho's whisper was daring and seductive, a charm he always carried when he was around You. And as he held the door open, you couldn't help but feel annoyed for not doing anything. just to show off in front of the drunken idiots… So in a split second, you turned back to the orc who—had his back turned—using your magic to lift up his hatchet and drop it on his foot making the large beast let out a guttural howl.
“Dukhal…[Bastard].” You spat before exiting the establishment, a smirk on your face as you walked with Yunho who had an equally sly smirk painting on his perfect features.
-
“Do I even ask?” Hongjoong pinched his nose as he paced in front of you and Yunho.
“To be fair it was really fucking hot.” Yunho laughed while taking a sip from his waterskin. You blushed at his sly remark but your focus was on the sorcerer in front of you. You haven't seen Hongjoong since you were in his bed at some cheap cabin house during last winter. It wasn't the first time one of you had slipped into each other's company for a night. But there was something seeing him being here now that felt different from the rest.
Last time you and him were together he confessed, his team. His friends—that you were all too aware of—had been… curious about your relationship with their captain. In other words—well Wooyoung's words—“Do any of us have a shot.” You left quickly after that, without a word. You were overwhelmed. It wasn't that you hadn't thought about sleeping or being with any of them before. But actually accepting was another thing. It wasn't common to be in love with more than two people, let alone eight. You always felt like you were broken in that aspect. That something wasn't developed right in your head. So you ran… like you always do when it came to love.
“Well, you're glad the guild didn't disqualify us for it.” Hongjoongs stern words caught you from your thoughts.
“W-why would they disqualify you? I did it. Not Yunnie..” You picked at your fingernails as you bit the inner part of your cheek. You watched Hongjoong whip out a piece of paper from his back pocket. It was a quest sheet, one a Dungeon master gives you. It was for the hunt you tried to join today but what caught your eye was all the names on the sheet. His team and…you.
“I had a feeling when you caught wind of this quest you'd come looking for a challenge.” His smile always made your stomach do flips. “That's why Yun was looking for you.” he snapped his gaze to the orc that was leaning against a fallen tree. “I just didn't think he would let anything like this happen.”
Yunho put his hands up in defeat but it was you to speak up. “It was my fault. I got carried away.” Hongjoong looked back at you, taking a step closer until his face was almost inches from yours.
“I don't doubt that. You have always been one to cause a scene.” Hongjoong’s voice was low, sultry. It caused Yunho to stare intensely. Your face reddened more if that was even possible, desperately wanting nothing more than to seal your lips against his. But as a cough echoed from Yunho's directions, you looked away taking in a sharp breath. “Hm…Well, l-lets get to the camp. The others will be waiting for us.”
Your nerves rattled as you walked with Yunho and Hongjoong to where the rest of the team would be finishing up with packing the campsite. Readying themselves to start the quest. Yunho had taken your backpack even though you said you could carry it on your own. But as you heard Wooyoung's piercing scream you knew this was going to be a long adventure.
You stayed close to Hongjoong as you all walked to the “spelunca cupiditatis”. A cave system that most competitors never leave. No one knows what the unknown language was or who had named the caves but most people have come to terms that the translation must be “caves of death.
”We're here.” Yeosang who was standing at the front of the team, his tail swaying as he focused on the map. Everyone stopped to gaze at the entrance. There wasn't much death vibes coming from it?
“You really want to do this…” you heard Hongjoong's voice whisper beside you. Turning You see concern on his face. All of you knew how dangerous this journey was. You all knew that you might not come out of it alive, but it was a risk you were all willing to take.
“Yes, Joong.” You grabbed his hand instinctively, letting the wandering eyes catch the obvious display of affection. “We do this together.”
Your smile always made Hongjoong feel better. If he was having a crap day he could always think about the times he made you laugh, your bright smile easing his heart. Your eyes fell from Hongjoong's for a moment, taking notice of all the men trying to pretend they were bluntly staring a moment ago. You couldn't help but giggle slightly, feeling a sudden tug to each of them in different ways.
The twisted vines and jagged stones bearing witness to countless tales of desperation and ambition were now going to show the story of you and the team and as you take each step forward you hoped and prayed the story was going to have a happy ending. So your heart raced, not merely from fear, but from the presence of Hongjoong standing close, his hand barely touching your own. You were glad to have his comforting presence but it also began to cause a tingle in your throat.
"We can do this," You whispered to yourself, trying to muster the confidence that had been wavering ever since you felt the bar. The energy was palpable as the eight men shifted uneasily, exchanging nervous glances that spoke volumes of the dread they shared. The “what ifs” loomed dangerously: what if they were the next failed adventurers? What if they never returned? Your what if were seemingly growing more and more worse by the second. Afraid of all of the boys' safety. What if they died trying to protect you? Trying to play hero was something they all had in common and it terrified you.
You couldn’t bear the idea of losing any of them. Each connection you shared with them pulsed with its own rhythm, enchanting you more deeply. Hongjoong's with his intellect that intrigued you, Jongho's with his inhuman strength and siren-like voice that was always comforting, Yunho’s warmth that was always inviting, Wooyoung’s vampiric wit that sparked excitement with every glance, Ser San's honour inspired respect something you didn’t ever think to learn before meeting him, Seonghwa's darkness that beckoned your curiosity and kept you awake most nights, Mingi's caring and gentle nature that always made your heart swoon and finally Yeosang's charm was utterly captivating leaving you breathless every time he spoke to you.
You couldn’t lose any of them. They are all so important if one of them died you would never forgive yourself━“Angel?...Are you okay? You’re squeezing my hand pretty tight.” you hadn’t realised Hongjoong had sneakily grabbed your hand nor the fact you almost stopped the blood to his poor fingers. Loosening your grip you apologised without any context leaving Hongjoong in the dark. But before he could protest a loud gasp echoed in the chamber you all found yourselves in.
As you all stepped into the large room—determined, or perhaps foolish, as the door behind them slammed shut with a resounding echo. You felt your heart drop at the sound, knowing the first trial had begun. The room was a shocking contrast to the cave’s tunnels and foreboding entrance. Lavishly decorated, it felt eerily reminiscent of a cosy home with walls adorned in colours that hinted at warmth and something domesticated. Golden tapestries draping the sides, flowering vines climbing towards the ceiling. In the centre of the room sat a peculiar floating silver bowl, it's surface glittering against the odd ambience. Curiosity piqued, as you watched the boys approach the bowl, but the locked door at the far end caught Seonghwa’s attention. It felt like a challenge—a puzzle waiting to be solved. “Let’s figure out what this is,” Seonghwa suggested cautiously, running his fingers along the door before noticing hold wear marks like the door had not been opened in centuries… comforting.
San leaned over the bowl first, squinting at the ancient script engraved at the bottom through the water. “It’s fae-ish? Uh…” Yeosang had a gaze. “That's old ancient fae…”
You pushed the men aside, trying to shake off the looming fear as you took a look at the writing. You didn't know a lot of the old tongue, but you were able to piece the sentence together just. “To open is to be opened, and to love is to be one.”
“What does that even mean?” Yunho asked, scratching his head.
“I think it means we need to express our feelings,” Hongjoong mused, his brows furrowing as he considered the possibilities. “But it’s not going to be as easy as it sounds…
“Oh wait what if it's more than that!!”” Wooyoung interjected, his tone mischievous but his eyes betraying a spark of fear. “What if we, like, confess our secrets or something? Not just feelings? Maybe that’s the key!” He laughed, but a nervous energy laced his voice. All of you chuckled half-heartedly, the prospect of revealing hidden feelings uncomfortable. Yet, the idea lingered. After a brief debate, spurred on by Wooyoung’s folly. "I'll go first!" He declared, stepping forth a little too energetically. He started listing all his loves—how he cherished their friendship, how he admired each one of them—but when he finished, the bowl remained unresponsive and the door was still sealed tight.
“Incredible. You killed the vibe, Wooyoung,” Mingi teased, rolling his eyes. All of you stood there lost, maybe all of you had to confess something? Yeosang pitched the idea and though half of you didn't wish to be as embarrassing as Wooyoung, but you all knew it had to be done. So one by one, the guys took turns professing their feelings, but the bowl stubbornly remained silent. Feeling the weight of your own unspoken emotions, your heart pounded as you noticed Hongjoong's thoughtful gaze. Somehow, those soft eyes sent a current of courage through you as you took a deep breath.
"It's my turn, I guess.." you whispered, taking Hongjoonds hand gently. You could feel the warmth of his presence envelop you, making you almost forget about the pending entrapment. "I’m so sorry for running away. I was scared. I realised... I was in love with you. And the question you ask…I didn’t want to answer it in fear of upsetting you.” Tears pricked Your eyes, and you quickly turned to the bowl, your palms sweaty. And to your lost hope the door remained locked.
“Hey…” Hongjoong grabbed your chin softly so you would look at him again.
“It..Didn’t work.” You felt so ashamed admitting to the single thing that's been eating at you and in front of not only Hongjoong but all of his team.
“It’s okay…We’ll figure it out.” Hongjoong wanted nothing more than to kiss your tears away right now but in the same breath was worried you’d recoil if he did. You just confessed you were in love with him and that was the reason why you ran when he offered his friends to you. You respected him too much to even admit that you had a slither of desire for his friends. “Let’s take a break, Wooyoung and Yeosang can get the food ready and use one of the torches to create a fire.”
He took notice of the small air pockets in the roof so at least they wouldn’t die from loss of oxygen. All the men started to move around like nothing happened but you couldn’t stop thinking. What else did you need to say? Was love not enough? The ancient words echoed in your mind over and over again., “to love is to be one…To love… is to be…” A gasp left your lips as you understood now: it wasn’t just about a confession. With renewed determination, you took a step back, making Hongjoongs hold of your slip. “I know what we’re missing…”
Without thought, you took a bold step, holding Hongjoong’s hands in yours as he tried to walk you to the others, his eyebrow raised as he tried to question. “What are we missing?”
“There is an ancient story in my culture about two lovers that built tunnels to hide their love…along with their treasure.” You looked at each of the men, only half of them following with what you were saying. “The story had gotten lost in translation over the years but the basis of it is that the only way to reach their treasure was to ‘become one.’” It was like all the lights went on in their heads as you said the last line given it matched the writing in the bowl.
“That still doesn’t explain what we are missing,” San interjected.
“Yes, it does…” You smile feeling proud you figured it out. “When they say become one, they mean to connect in a showcase of love…” You look back to Hongjoong. “This isn’t about telling each other how much we love one another. It’s about showing it…”
The room was deadly silent, Hongjoong and the others quickly sensing what you were meaning. The door wanted a display of affection, aka, sex. “So that means…” Wooyoung spoke up.
“We gotta fuck to open the door,” Yeosang said bluntly with arms crossed.
You suddenly felt yourself being drawn into a web of lust and anticipation. Waiting to see what anyone might add. But as you watched Hongjoong lean down towards your ear you felt your breath hitch. "Every single man here wants to taste what's between your thighs, angel. They want to feel your soft skin, hear your moans, and watch you lose control. What I told you that night was true. We all want you…for a while now.”
Your heart quickened as a wave of heat washed over you. The thought of being desired by all men at once was almost too much to bear. Maybe you weren’t as broken as you thought. "I want it…" You whispered, your voice catching in your throat. "I love all of you..."
“That’s my girl.” You could feel Hongjoong’s sly smirk against your ear as he suddenly stood up straight, taking you by the hand and leading you to the centre of the room. The others watched with hooded eyes, their cocks already beginning to stir with excitement and anticipation.
“This is really happening?!” Wooyoung gasped but Jongho was quick to elbow him causing the poor vampire to let out a wheeze.
“Shut the fuck up.” Was all Jongho said as they all went back to focusing on their leader and you. Slowly, Hongjoong began to undress you, peeling away your clothes layer by layer. His touch was delicate as if one wrong move would cause you to break. You felt like your heart was going to burst out of your chest at the sheer thought of being bare in front of all of them. But as Hongjoong untied the string to your undercoat, it fell breathlessly off your shoulders, leaving you completely naked for all of their hot gazes to eye.
The cool night air that slipped into the cave caressed your exposed skin, leaving goosebumps and shivers down your spine. Hongjoong's fingers traced the curves of your body, his touch both gentle and possessive. Spinning you around so your back couldn’t be flush against his chest, he brought his hands up to cup your breasts, thumbing your erect nipples, while his tongue flicked out to taste the sensitive flesh of your neck. Giving all the boys a perfect display of him playing with your body. You moaned, your head falling back against his shoulder in surrender. You could feel Hongjoong's hard cock pressing against your ass, but he teasingly denied you both the pleasure of going any further.. no, not yet. He wanted to savour the moment. He needed to watch all his friends lose their composure.
So Instead, he thought of an idea, lifting you effortlessly, by using his magic to support you in the air slightly, he sank to his knees in front of you, positioning your pussy directly in front of his face. Hongjoong's tongue flicked out, licking your slit from bottom to top, causing you to cry out, your hands flying for his soft locks. He latched onto your clit, sucking and nibbling as his fingers plunged into your wet cunt quickly. Your hazy eyes stared down at him for a moment before catching the gaze of all the other men in the room. Each of them displaying their own build of need on their expressions while a few started to palm their own cocks through their pants. Your hips bucked uncontrollably as you neared your high, your juices coating Hongjoong's face, some even dripping down his chin and neck.
Out of all the boys, it was Seonghwa who couldn't contain himself any longer. Moving closer, his golden eyes piercing you while his dragon form shimmered just beneath the surface of his human appearance. He reached out, pinching your nipples between his thumb and forefinger, rolling and tugging them gently as he leaned in to nuzzle your neck. His flaming hot breath and sharp teeth left marks on your delicate skin. As he kissed and nibbled his way up your jaw before his clawed fingers gripped your chin to look at him.
“Such a sweet little fae. A soft little rabbit.” You could hear the dragon beneath his breath, steam pooling out his nose as he huffed. Breaking one of your hands from Hongjoongs hair, you came to rest it on Seonghwa’s cheek, beckoning him to close the gap between you. “You want a kiss baby?”
His sweet almost taunting words made our cunt clench around Hongjoong’s fingers, feeling yours tread closer towards the edge. “Please, Hwa. I want you to kiss him.”
You were desperate, wanting to know how the dragon would kiss. Is he a slow and sensual lover or does he fuck with roughness and passion? “Since you asked nicely…” He rotated his fingers from your chin to squeeze your cheek together pushing your lips out. And without another thought, he sealed his slips on yours. You could almost feel the fire on his tongue as he practically shoved the large snake-like appendage down your throat.
You gagged slightly, whimpers mixing with light coughs but you ended up finding the rhythm to breathe through your nose. But what caught you off guard was suddenly feeling another body on the other side of you. You couldn’t look over to see who it was but when you heard the grunt in your ear you could take a guess. “You look so cute, doll. So tiny compared to all of us.”
It was Yunho and of course, this huge orc of a man had a thing for sizes. He was busy palming his large cock that was straining against his pants. He released his erection in the next second, stroking its impressive length as he groped one of your plump breasts, rolling your sensitive nipple between his fingers, while his long tongue licked along your neck. Your body felt like it was on fire, the pleasure building to an unbearable level. Hongjoong's skilled fingers and tongue pushed you over the edge, while Yunho and Seonghwa’s tongues and hands worked their magic. You screamed as your orgasm ripped through you, your slick squirting and drenching Hongjoong's face and chest.
Hongjoong stood, still holding you, and looked at his friends with a satisfied smile, licking his lips as he panted. "So…Whose fucking her first?" he asked, his voice laced with challenge and lust, a cheeky pip making all the boys look at one another trying to figure out how they could possibly choose. Before anyone could respond, Wooyoung took it upon himself to take you for a spin. Using his vampire speed in a blur, he snatched you from Hongjoong's and the other's arms. He positioned you over one of the old chair-like couches, your hands grasping the rough split wood as he lined up his throbbing cock with your soaked pussy.
And with a swift thrust, he impaled you, his length disappearing inside you in one smooth motion. Your and his screams mixed as the pleasure overwhelmed both of you, your body vibrating with the force of Wooyoung's frantic drilling. He pounded into you with his jaw slack, never feeling a better feeling than this. His hips were almost a blur, his cock fucking you deeper and deeper as he swore. “Fuck, you’re pussy is so fucking tight. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Are you sure Hongjoong has ever fucked you? You feel like a fucking virgin.”
The sound of his frantic jackhammering filled the room, wet flesh slapping against even more so wet flesh, your desperate moans, and Wooyoung's grunts of pleasure. The others watched in awe and slight jealousy. None of them even got to have a say on who went first, making them feel the possessiveness brew in their guts. Wanting nothing more than to have their turns. They all had their own hands working their cocks as they witnessed the erotic display of Wooyoung pounding you while you struggled to stay upright on the rickety chair. “WOo arh! AHH Wooyoung!!!”
Wooyoung's speed increased, and you could feel his vampire lust taking over. His fangs lengthened as he leaned down, his lips brushing your ear as he whispered, "I'm going to fill that tight cunt with my cum, baby. You're going to take every last drop fucking drop while I get a taste of your sweet blood.”
“Yes! Yes! Please, b-bite me.” You have no clue where your filter went but it clearly was left outside the cave. You heard a dark chuckle from the undead man pounding you and before you could beg again you felt his sharp fangs pierce your soft skin. His grunt as he drank from you, sent your mind spiralling as you quickly fell into another orgasm, your walls clenching around Wooyoung's thick cock tightly making the vampire tip over to his own release. His growls were almost primal, feeling your pussy clench around him while he tasted your blood rushing through him. He slammed into you one last time, his cock twitching as he flooded you with his cold cum, finally unlatching his fangs from you, making sure to lick up the wound so it could heal.
You slumped forward, as Wooyoung gently lowered you completely onto the chair. He kissed your cheek before grabbing your chin so he could seal his lips against your own, his tongue exploring your mouth as he let you taste your own blood.
"Damn, that was a sight," Hongjoong said, a smile playing on his lips as he crossed his arms. "But we're not done yet, are we, Angel?" He points to the door, seeing it hasn’t moved even an inch. You, still catching your breath, looked up at the circle of lustful men surrounding you making you visibly gulp with a small smile.
Sitting up slightly to sit on your ass, while biting your lip as you spread your legs to show all Wooyoung’s cum drip out of your puffy cunt. It was like it hypnotised all of them but without as much as a peep, Mingi came stomping over, as you suddenly found yourself in his powerful grip.
He spun you around, so he could take your place on the chair as his eyes darkened with lust, lowering you onto his lap. You gasped as you felt his thick cock sink deep into your sensitive pussy without a care. And to say this man was fucking huge all over, he was fucking huge all over. Stretching you further than you thought possible, and you couldn't help but moan loudly, your screams bouncing off the walls in sheer desperation.
Mingi growled, a low deep sound that sent shivers down your spine and tingles in your tummy. He began to move, thrusting up into you with fierce, rapid snaps of his hips. Your nails dug into his chest, scratching lines into his tanned skin as he marked your hips with his strong grip. The sensation of being fucked so roughly had your head spinning and seeing stars. Your cries grew louder, your voice hoarse and filled with need. But if that wasn't enough, Yeosang joined you. He grabbed a handful of your hair, pulling your head back to expose your throat. You let out a yelp at the sting while his other hand tilted your chin up, forcing you to meet his intense almost sadistic gaze. Then, without warning, and a big sly smirk, he sunk his cock into your waiting mouth. You moaned around his length, your eyes rolling back as you tried to relax your throat to take him in whole. Yeosang began to move, fucking your face with the same precision and determination that Mingi had. Your mouth filled with the taste of him, making you crave more. “That’s it pet, your throat is so warm. Are you going to let me paint this pretty face? Hmm?”
Mingi and Yeosang moved together in a frenzied rhythm. Mingi's cock pounded into your pussy, hitting your deepest spots, while Yeosang used your mouth for his own pleasure, holding your head in a tight grip as he thrusted deep. The sting tickled down your throat and the burn was tight in your jaw but you could feel yourself getting closer to the edge, your body trembling with the effort of holding back your orgasm. Mingi must have sensed you were close because he reached down, his fingers finding your clit, rubbing it in firm circles. Your cries were muffled by Yeosang’s cock while your juices flowed as you came hard, your pussy clenching around Mingi tightly. With a loud grunt, he emptied himself into you, his hot cum mixing with Wooyoung's, filling you to the brim.
“Fuuuckk.” Mingi moaned at the same time, Yeosang pulled out of your mouth, jerking himself quickly as he shot his load all over your face and tits, marking you with his release. You panted, your body spent, but you had little time to recover as the next man stepped forward to claim you.
“My turn, honey…” Jongho, using his inhuman strength, he lifted you up easily, wrapping your legs around his waist as he held you up against the nearby wall. You smiled lazily at him as he used what seemed like to be his shirt to wipe off Yeosang’s cum from your face. He gently licked the rest of Yeo’s seed, before kissing your cheeks tenderly. “Such a pretty baby…”
His sweet murmurs made your heart skip and your tummy tingle as you giggle. He held you close, gently stroking your hair as the other hand that held your thigh squeezed gently, easing the ache in your limbs. Your arms wrap naturally around his neck, reciprocating his love but gifting him kisses in return. But as he lifted you higher slowly, you knew what you were in for. His cock was already slick with your juices as he sunk into you carefully taking his time with you. His lips captured your cries as he devoured your mouth losing himself with every inch that sinks deeper inside your ruined cunt. You tasted Yeosang on his tongue, and it only served to heighten your forever-growing arousal.
Jongho may have started off softly paced but his thrusts soon became relentless, pounding into you with his superhuman strength, his thick cock hitting your sweet spot over and over. You couldn’t help but squirm in his hold, your legs tightening around his waist as you bucked your hips out of rhythm, feeling another orgasm building, quicker than the last. And just as you were about to fall over the edge, you felt your body being taken away from the wall, as it was replaced with a warm body and another cock nudging the entrance to your pussy. San’s charming chuckle made your foggy mind spin as he whispered in your ear, "Take a deep breath, beautiful,"
And then he was pushing into you alongside Jongho. The sensation of being so full sent you into a frenzy, and you came uncontrollably as if you had lost all control over your body. Your cunt clenched around both cocks as your juices squirted out, soaking the floor below you. The display was erotic within itself, as all the men kept their stares on the fresh entertainment. Jongho couldn't hold on any longer, and with a roar, he stopped his hips with a staggering whine, filling your puffy pussy with his hot seed. San followed soon after, his cock twitching as he emptied himself into also. You felt so full with four different loads deep inside you. You could feel it slowly drip out of you as one cock pulls out of you and a new one replaces it. You felt like a used sex toy, used, abused and completely satisfied.
You slumped against Jongho, your body spasming slightly from the overstimulation but you surprisingly begged for more. Your teary eyes glanced at the door for a moment, a part of you was wishing it was opened already so you could relax. But the other part wanted it to only open after you had your fill of each man in the room. And speaking of them…There were now just two men left, and they approached you with hungry eyes. Seonghwa and Yunho, each presented a tempting offer of passion, roughness and a lingering darkness… Yunho growled, his voice deep and rumbling, "It's time for the main event, little one."
Seonghwa had laid out a sleeping bag, a devious smile on his face. Yunho, gently but firmly, grabbed your figure from the other men before laying you down, your limbs splayed as you basked in the afterglow of your previous highs while also finally getting to relax without standing or being uncomfortably in the air. Yunho positioned himself between your legs, his cock a stunning green and unnaturally large. You couldn't help but bite your lip as you anticipated him, your pussy already beginning to throb with need. “Y-your so big…”
“I get told that a lot.” Yunho’s voice was cocky, charming and deep. He knew he was good and it showed. His hands grabbed the back of your legs where your knees crease, bending you almost in half. Your pussy was wide on display at this angle but there was no time to gawk as Yunho sunk into you slowly, his cock stretching you to your limits. You were mentally glad San and Jongho had fucked you together now to help you with this sting of Yunho almost breaking you.
You couldn't help but moan nonetheless, your nails digging into the sleeping bag as you tried to adjust to his size as quickly as you could. Once he was fully bottomed out inside you, he studied your face. Watching your brows knit and bend with a painful pleasure. He began to move, his hips snapping forward with each thrust while his balls slapped against your ass loudly. If you weren't so drunk on the idea of being passed around, maybe you’d be embarrassed by the sound. But right now all you cared about was getting this large orc’s cum deep inside your cunt.
Seonghwa came to stand beside you both, and with a gentle hand, he tilted your head up, urging you to take him in your mouth. With wide eyes you did so willingly, your gaze fluttering closed in pleasure as you sucked his length. Seonghwa threaded his fingers into your hair, holding you in place as he began to fuck your face, his hips moving in tandem with Yunho's. “What do you know, you’re throat does feel good, fuck.”
“You should try this pussy.” Yunho grunted, spitting onto your clit before rubbing it harshly. “I could stay in it forever.”
You were in complete ecstasy, your body being used exactly as you had always craved. Pleasuring all your boys, gifting them what they desire while also taking your own pleasure. You couldn’t ever ask for more. You scratched your nails down Seonghwa's thighs, marking his perfect skin as you felt Yunho's cock reach places no one ever had. Your pussy was on fire in the best way, and you could feel the bulge of his cock deep in your tummy as if he could literally rearrange your guts. You knew Yunho was huge, but the sensation of being so utterly filled was indescribable.
Seonghwa moaned, his hands tightening in your hair as he grew closer to the edge, moaning your name over and over. You looked up at him, your eyes glazed with lust, and you felt a wave of confidence to suck him harder, your throat relaxing to take him in deeper. Seonghwa groaned, his cock twitching as his hips stuttered, “Fuck fuck fuck. Lord nargh…” He filled your mouth with his release, his cum coating your throat as you tried your best to swallow it all.
Yunho, too, was close, his grunts and the slapping of his hips against your ass the only sounds in the spacious cave. And with one final thrust, he buried himself as deep inside you as he could, coming with an endless amount. His cock pulsed as he shot his thick load, letting you feel him twitching and shifting inside you. His fingers did not cease as he was on a mission to make your pussy throb with satisfaction. “Come on baby, cum for me. I wanna feel you cream around my huge fucking cock.”
You screamed, Seonghwa suddenly pulling out of you while you tightened around Yunho. He felt a second load empty as you milked him dry. He quickly pulled out right after, his cock slipping from your pussy with a wet pop. Laying on the sleeping bag, your body sticky with cum and satisfied beyond measure. The eight men stood around you, their eyes hungry as they admired their handy work. It was almost as if you all forgot where you were or why you were there in the first place.
But suddenly it was like the air shifted. The door behind all of you had creaked open, light spilling into the room like a promise of hope, illuminating your path forward. You sat up slowly with the help of Seonghwa and Hongjoong, smiles painted on all your faces. Leaning against Hongjoong’s chest you took a breath before speaking with a hoarse but soft voice.
“It worked…”
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Part 7
Content: Injury and Recovery, Care, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Washing, Self-Blame/Self-Hatred, Codependency
Hell, Nikto thinks, is not punishment for sin. Not a lake of fire or eternal torture for earthly misconduct.
No.
Hell, he’s just discovered, is the absence of god. It’s the black, empty space where the divine used to shine.
It’s your blood soaking his gloves. The scent of your fear creeping past his mask. The single diamond tear that slipped down your scraped cheek when you told him you’d be okay. Your labored breathing and cracked voice. The scream that echoed, echoed, echoed through the stairwell and into his useless skull, rattling against bone walls and too-fresh memories.
Hell has become a hospital room with blank walls and shiny tile. How does that story go — that the deepest layer of hell is frigid? This hospital may not be dusted in frost, but it’s cold enough. You look small and chilly on the thin cot, entangled in wires.
Alive, despite everything.
You don’t feel alive to Nikto.
You’re too still, too washed out. Even when you nap with him, you tend to twitch, eyes flickering beneath your lids. Flushed with warmth in sleep and peaceful-looking. But you don’t move now; barely look better than you did fresh off the helo, unconscious and still bleeding, bleeding, bleeding—
It’s Nikto’s blood in your veins now. His unworthy, corrupted blood turned holy in the chambers of your heart. It wasn’t possession that made him offer his own arm for the transfusion, but rather atonement. The bare minimum he could repent for his utter failure. To offer up even a fraction of his own life in exchange for yours.
He’s been holding vigil by your side ever since, even if he doubts his place there. Waiting for your awakening to decide. Waiting for your judgment. Like a sinner at confessional, though he knows no Hail Mary will cleanse him.
He’s not even sure if you can this time. Not when it’s you he’s wronged.
The change in your breathing is what alerts him.
His eyes have hardly left you since they let him in. Even when his weak body surrendered to sleep, he would face you, so that you would always be the first thing he laid eyes on. Now, though, he searches your face with earnest, searching for any signs of consciousness.
The squeeze of your eyelids. A light furrow in your brow. Your mouth twists as you groan a bit, head drifting before you get control of your neck muscles.
Your eyes blink open slowly, flinchingly. He gives half a mind to breaking one of the overhead bulbs to ease the glare. But he would never risk the shattered glass over your head, or startling you with the noise. So he shifts and waits desperately for you to adjust.
Then you take a deep breath and focus on the ceiling. Seem to take stock for a moment, confusion smoothing into recognition, remembrance.
You tilt your head and meet his eyes.
“Nikto,” you breathe. The long, long hours of unconsciousness have taken a toll though, and even that causes you to cough. You wince a bit at the pain in your side while he reaches for the little plastic cup of water a nurse left. His name alone has brought you pain. It aches through his bones like condemnation.
You make a breathy noise, struggling to sit up. So he eases closer, supports your back to help you sip little doses from the full cup. It’s room temperature, but he knows from experience it’s better that way.
You don’t fuss when he regretfully has to pull it away, mindful of the instructions the nurses left him with. Lays you back as gently as he knows how as you sigh in relief.
He doesn’t feel worthy of touching you and tries to pull away. But you twitch, catch his wrist with the arm attached to an IV. He freezes.
“Nikto.”
There’s voice to the word this time, not just a dry puff of air. It takes Herculean effort to drag his eyes up to yours.
You look tired.
Tired, but all too aware, all too knowing. Sniper he may be, he knows better than to try to wait you out.
“I’m sorry.”
A thousand unspoken apologies crowd on his tongue. All the remorse he never felt compounded onto this one monumental failure.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”
Your brow furrows but you don’t interrupt. Don’t try to stop him. Just tug him in to huddle against your uninjured side. Let him prostrate himself over your bed, forehead pressed to your hip.
“I’m sorry,” he babbles, “I should have been better. I should have protected you. I almost— I almost…”
The words jam in his throat and then evaporate. No combination of syllables or sounds will be adequate.
Your nails draw gentle circles on his shoulder, then draw in towards his neck. Slip your hand under the collar of his shirt and jacket, just beneath the various trappings that hide his identity. You find skin. The vulnerable, damp nape of his neck. You lay your hand there, cool and dry.
“I forgive you, Nikto.”
“Y-you—”
“I do,” you affirm, giving him a little squeeze. “And it’s my choice to do so.”
He can barely pull himself away, but he has to see your face. Has to know what unconditional forgiveness looks like.
You’re half-lidded, soft. Eyes warm, blinking slow. You’re relaxed, understanding in every curve of your features. For all the world you could be divinity in repose instead of frightfully human, injured and frail.
“Punishing yourself from now on wouldn’t be noble,” you continue, tilting your head knowingly, “it would be martyrdom. And you are not my martyr, Nikto.”
He has not cried in… well. Long before his mind was torn apart and stitched back together wrong. Doubts he even knows how to, now. But his eyes burn as he presses his face into your hip again and shudders hard.
How foolish. To think he had any grasp of what forgiveness is. To think he understood what atonement was. When the only one who could set the bounds for damnation is you.
“I almost left you.”
“‘Almost’ and ‘would have’ are poison. You can’t convict on an almost. An almost is a warning, nothing to hang yourself for.”
You squeeze his neck again, unfailingly gentle. Unfalteringly steady.
“You stayed. I’m alive. Let’s focus on recovery now.”
He nods, hands clenched tight in the once-smooth fabric of the hospital sheets. It comes away wrinkled, but still clean.
—
You’re released from hospital two days later.
The wound, while dangerous in the moment, was a relatively easy fix once you had medical care. A clean shot, only just chipping off a bit of rib and grazing your large intestine. Everything is sewn and medicated and healing now. You’re uncomfortable, but KorTac isn’t as stingy with pain management as a normal military outfit — especially not with Nikto looming over your shoulder.
And you, his precious angel, are an absolute trooper.
You let the medical staff poke and prod and peal your bandages without fuss. Sit up with little more than a grimace and a hiss. In good spirits, all around.
Nikto carves your care instructions into the walls of his mind, a New Testament — temporary though it may be. The nurses send you in a wheelchair down to the ground floor, but after that, you’re allowed to walk.
Nikto doesn’t like it. He’d carry you to the edge of the Earth if necessary. But you just wave away his concern and grab onto his hovering arm for stability as you stand. A bit unsteady, terribly uncomfortable, but determined.
He gets you back to the barracks, you cursing with every movement that’s not a smooth step on even ground. Nikto lets you lean most of your weight into him and tries to keep his aching heart steady.
You sigh when you reach the barracks. Let him lay you down and get you comfortable before giving you another dose of pain meds. He busies himself collecting things and rearranging the room.
Making sure there’s not so much as a sock between you and the restroom. Getting your computer, phone, and respective chargers within easy reach. Filling a cup with water and arranging your soft blankets over your legs.
He’s just finished with that when there’s a knock at the door. Konig, delivering a meal. Not just any meal — takeout from your favorite little restaurant in town. Complete with sweets.
You call a thank you to the Austrian, who expresses his best wishes, and then Nikto shuts out the rest of the world again to let you rest. You don’t seem to mind, beckoning him back to your side.
Sharing the food, the blankets and pillows. Get him to set up your laptop with a movie — the meds kick in halfway through, leave you drooling a bit against his sleeve.
Nikto does not care. You may have forgiven him, and therefore it is not his place to repent for this anymore. But caring for you has never been atonement. It is his reward for putting his loyalty where it belongs.
—
The next day is worse. Your mood has dipped a bit, the soreness catching up. Not that you snap at Nikto or anything of the sort. But he knows you, and can tell from the tension in your body and wincing expressions when you think he isn’t looking.
You brighten a bit when he finally remembers to take his mask off. He even lets you babble when the meds make you fuzzy and overly-complimentary. Nearly falls asleep to you absently mapping the ugly scars that score deep into his hairline.
At some point though, the misery seems to catch up to you.
“It wouldn’t be so bad if I could just… wash up, I guess,” you grumble, looking ready to throw something.
The nurses did what they could, of course, but their focus had been on fixing you and then keeping your wounds clean. Enough hygiene to avoid infection. But you’re still grimy in uncomfortable places and you hate being in bed feeling “icky.”
Nikto instantly sets to work correcting that. He digs out one of his clean shirts, your favorite sweatpants, a soft pair of underwear. You watch him curiously as he takes it all into the restroom. The shower is standing room only, unfortunately — and besides, you can’t get your stitches wet for a while still. But he can at least help you freshen up.
“Come here.”
You take his arm, let him sit you up and then guide you to the restroom. When you see the cloth on the edge of the sink you get a bit misty-eyed. He lets you sniffle for a moment, patient while you wipe your eyes and mumble a “thank you.”
Then he helps you strip to your underwear and sits you on the towel he’s placed on the toilet lid. He kneels and starts from the top, a little dollop of soap on the facecloth and hot water.
You offer up an arm, careful not to overextend, palm up and fingers lax. Nikto works from your shoulder down to your fingertips. Smoothing over bruised muscle, stale sweat, scrubbing away dirt and crusted blood at the nail beds. Rinses the cloth, wipes away the excess soap, and repeats the process on the other arm.
The bathroom is silent save for the falling water and your shared breaths. You tilt your head to let him caress over your neck, down to your chest. He pauses, unsure of his welcome here, but you mumble that it’s fine either way. His touch is perfunctory but careful over your breasts, though he marvels privately at the plushness, the warmth. Politely ignores the way your nipples harden as the water cools in the air. Even if he’s so… so tempted to provide care in other ways.
You don’t so much as twitch; he can feel your gaze upon him from above. Yet he cannot force his eyes away from his work. Each gentle sweep of the cloth feels like restoring a temple, like holy work. Like paying his dues more directly than any church’s offering plate. You are such delicate work, his attention cannot afford to waver.
At your ribs, he starts on your uninjured side. Counts as his fingertips bump along them. You hum when he reaches the soft tissue of your stomach, a little shudder going through you.
“Ticklish,” you explain when his hand jerks back. “I’m alright.”
He feels one side of his mouth tug when he dips the cloth into your navel and you snort a bit. The other side of you is still bandaged, clean and white. No damning spots of red. He avoids the medical tape to get what he can and then continues down.
More bitten off giggles at your hips. He indulges in arching his bare thumb over the bone, just to feel the warmth and silk of your skin. Then continues his work.
He braces your foot on his thigh as he swipes the cloth over yours, minding the pressure on the sensitive inner skin. Over your knee, down to the ankle before switching to the other leg. You lean back and sigh, knock your knee gently into his ribs. When he glances up to see if you need anything, you just smile. Soft and a bit drowsy.
Only then does he scrub your feet, making you twitch and laugh a bit, complaining that he’s doing it on purpose. He’s not, but he likes the sound of your laughter; he thought he’d never hear it again.
He washes the cloth out one more time and helps you stand, lathering circles into your back while you press into him.
You take over when he’s finished. This time he does turn away, though he aches to do so. But your hand is still on his back, using him for support while you finish cleaning up intimate areas.
“Done,” you murmur. He unfolds a towel and turns, keeping his eyes above your head as he wraps it around you from behind.
You hold it up while he pats over you, soaking up any droplets that haven’t dried yet.
Warm and clean(er), your mood seems much improved. He kneels again to help you into a new pair of panties, realizes he’s an absolute fool to put himself so close when you smell only faintly like the shared soap. The rest is you, and you smell delicious.
He swallows thickly and eases you into your sweatpants, split between longing and relief when he stands to put you in the shirt. If you notice the bulge in his own lounge pants, you say nothing — though he doubts you do. You’re nearly asleep standing, almost stumbling as he takes you back to bed. You reach for him weakly and urge him in with you.
“Thank you, Nikto,” you murmur into his shoulder. “Love you.”
And you’ve forgiven him, despite everything. So he allows himself just this one thing — and presses his lips to your temple.
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TIDAL WAVE OF LOVE
PAIRING — choi seungcheol x reader
WORD COUNT — 1.3k
SYNOPSIS — even the strongest of people break sometimes. you’re used to hiding your feelings; your boyfriend is there for you when everything gets too much.
TAGS — angst, self-esteem issues, fear of failure, mc has a bit of a breakdown :(( but also a lil comfort
NOTE — cleaning out the drafts! this is wayyyy shorter than my usual works but i still felt like posting it <3 i had a very stressful semester in uni before the summer break and i came across this video on twt of coups giving wonwoo a little comforting squeeze which i found very endearing sooo that kinda became the inspo for this!
the moment he calls out a greeting to you from his kitchen, you close your eyes for a moment. it would’ve probably been wiser to have gone home instead of his place.
you greet him the same way, hoping he doesn’t hear the crack in your voice.
“how was your day?” he asks you once he’s returned to the living room, giving you a kiss.
you press your lips together. “fine. nothing special.”
the first thing he notices is the lack of eye contact you make with him. you’re also being considerably less touchy with him than usual, which he finds strange.
“everything okay?”
“yeah.” you put up a smile that doesn’t appear genuine in the slightest.
he figures you could just be in a bad mood — but that doesn’t seem to be the case.
he knows for a fact that it’s not with the way you’re trying real hard to hide your face from him. you only do that when you’re upset about something.
“baby, talk to me.”
“about what?”
the response comes out snappier than you meant it to. you two have been together quite a while — so he’s come to know that you tend to get a little colder and distant before the dam breaks.
you look at him so briefly to the point where he’d miss the motion if he blinked. the expression equals a silent apology.
of course he always does his best to give you whatever space you need. that being said, he’s also come to know you get into your own head a lot, and sometimes there’s someone who needs to pull you out of it.
you bite your lip in a pathetic attempt to hold back your tears. “it’s fine, cheol, just let it go.”
“well, i care about you, sweetheart. what’s going on?” he’s persistent but gentle about it. you have a habit of keeping your feelings to yourself and hardly ever letting anything out, which leads to everything just piling up and making things worse.
“i don’t wanna talk about it.”
the lump in your throat begins to rise.
“i can see that, but you’ve clearly got something you need off your chest. are you okay?”
you don’t show anyone when something’s wrong unless they mention it first. and even when they do, you’re hesitant.
it’s an exhausting way to live, but you still choose to do so.
it’s one of the reasons why you hate crying. your glossy eyes always betray you.
then you make — what you consider to be — the mistake of looking into his big, worried eyes once more, and you just completely fall apart in front of him.
the tears begin to flow before you can even comprehend it.
“it’s just—god, i don’t even know why i’m so fucking emotional, i just—” your breath shudders, the mildly angry expression that was previously on your face now nowhere to be found, “everything’s been so stressful recently, and i’m scared i won’t pass my classes, and i feel like such a slow learner compared to everyone else—”
he’s rubbing your back, just allowing you to you let everything out. he keeps quiet.
“i feel fucking fragile. and weak. every little thing is just too much right now. i’m sorry, i feel stupid.”
he lets you cry into his chest as his arms are wrapped around you, one hand softly rubbing the back of your head. “don’t feel stupid, baby. you can vent to me, always.”
the sound of your heavy sobs hurt him, because he feels like you’re always so hard on yourself, but he’s glad you’re releasing them. it’s healthier to let it all out than to keep it in.
“it’s just like i can’t breathe, y’know?” you mutter in the crook of his neck, subconsciously wetting his shirt with your tears, “i can’t take a single break ‘cause i’ll fall behind. i’m so tired. i feel like i’m not even smart enough to take the damn course, let alone pass the fucking test—”
once he feels like you’re about to start hyperventilating, he moves back to let him look at you. “long breaths. you’re okay, just breathe with me.”
he purposefully takes long, deep breaths, counting the seconds out loud to guide you, and it works. your breathing is steadying bit by bit, sobs faltering, melting into soft hiccups and numbness.
with dried tears and a slightly hoarse voice, you let out a sigh. “i just hate feeling so incompetent. for once, i’d love to feel smart. i wanna feel like i’m able to keep up as well as everyone else does, y’know? i’m… i’m procrastinating everything and i don’t know how to change it. it all sucks.”
“it’s not easy, baby. don’t be too hard on yourself.” he presses a swift kiss to your skin, and you hold him tighter, as if he were to slip out of your hold if you didn’t.
“it’s not easy for me. it is for them.”
“there’s nothing wrong with that. would you think differently if someone in your class had to put more effort into passing the course? you wouldn’t, right? because at the end of the day, you both make it to the finish line. that’s what matters.”
deep down, you know he has a point. you put the pressure so high on yourself, yet don’t apply the same logic to your peers.
you don’t really understand why.
“and you say it’s easy for them, but i know for sure that they put more effort into it than you might think. trust me. you’ll get to where you want to be, one way or another. if you take a little longer to do that than a classmate, who cares. it’s your life. i know you’ve worked so hard—” he twirls a strand of your hair between his fingers, “even if you don’t pass that class now, it won’t be the end of the world, and there’ll be another chance. you’ll get there.”
now there’s just a few last tears running down your cheeks. “except i’m worried that i won’t.”
“you will. and once you do, you’ll be happy that you got to that point because you worked hard and deserve that success. if not today, then tomorrow. yeah?”
you take a deep breath, exhaling slowly, the last shudders of your breakdown bubbling to the surface as your heart rate finally slows back to normal. “yeah. thank you.”
to show your gratitude, you give him a hug, which he happily embraces, pressing a kiss to your cheek.
“anytime. i’m here for you.”
even the strongest of people break — but they can still pick up the pieces and start over.
do your best (but maybe not sometimes) <3
® SANAKIRAS — do not repost, remake or copy my work in any way whatsoever. translations are not allowed.
#choi seungcheol x reader#scoups x reader#svt x reader#svthub#seungcheol x reader#scoups fanfic#scoups angst#scoups fluff#choi seungcheol fanfic#choi seungcheol ff#seventeen x reader#seventeen fanfic#svt ff#svt oneshot#svt angst#svt fluff
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It's That Simple
Day 16: Praise Kink (Bob Floyd x F!Reader)
(For the 2023 Kinktober event that I created on my own because I am boring and basic and am trying to keep it simple this year...found here!)
CW: Light angst, kinda (Bob gets deflated); talk of panic attacks and self-doubt; smut (handjob); 18+ only.
Word Count: 5656
AN: This was requested by an anon!
AN2: If you've been around a bit, you know the drill: this isn't edited or re-read or beta'ed.
It’s another terrible first date.
Bob struggles to even snag a first date. He’s unassuming; he lacks the swagger and extroversion to stroll up to a woman and talk her up. Most of his dates are obtained from other members of the Daggers—double dates, set-ups, stuff like that.
The latest one was set up by Fanboy, a friend of his sister. Within moments of meeting his date, Bob knows it’ll be a mess: she makes a face when she greets him at the door, and it goes downhill from there.
It ends when she gets a text. An emergency, she tells him, and Bob is too smart and perceptive to buy the lie. But he’s a gentleman, so he nods seriously and offers to drive her home or wherever she’s needed, which she declines. He pays the bill of their abortive dinner, and he pretends not to notice how his date practically skips out of the restaurant and into the waiting car of a friend.
He should go home to lick his wounds. Another failed date, another night alone. He sees the stretch of his life in front of him and despairs that he’ll ever meet someone, and he should go home to sulk, but he goes to the Hard Deck instead.
He might as well break the news to Fanboy, at least, and maybe Nat can cheer him up with her usual sarcastic humor.
-----
The Hard Deck is as packed as always, and Bob—in his date clothes of dress pants and a button down shirt—stands out among the uniformed pilots and fellow wizzos. He finds the Dagger Squad, confesses his failure to Fanboy, then settles into a stool near Nat and Rooster.
Nat puts a hand on his shoulder and gives him a comforting squeeze. “I’m sorry, Bob,” she says.
“Her loss,” Rooster offers.
Bob shrugs. It’s not anyone’s loss but his, but he offers them a weak smile that fools neither of them.
It’s Hangman who sidles up to Bob, and in an uncharacteristic moment of thoughtfulness, the cocky pilot offers to be his wingman—which makes Bob laugh, and it comes out laced with some bitterness.
“No offense, Bagman, but you’d be a terrible wingman,” Bob says.
“What? Why?”
Bob lifts his hands in a helpless shrug. “Because you’re….you. And I’m not like you at all.”
“So?”
He scoffs in frustration at Bagman being so obtuse. As if any woman would look at Bob if he walked up to them with Jake at his side. It’d be like an Aston Martin rolling up alongside an old Honda Civic, and that’s the analogy he uses to make Jake understand. But Jake shakes his head, clasps him on his shoulders and gives him a friendly shake.
“Nah, Baby on Board. You got it all wrong. You just need some confidence.” Another teeth-rattling shake. “Trust me, there’s a girl out there for you. C’mon.”
Bob finds himself powerless to resist as Jake pushes him off of his stool, then shoves him gently in the direction of the crowded bar.
-----
The first pair that Jake sidles up to is a bust, but it’s not Bob’s fault: Jake had hooked up with the one woman before, forgotten about it completely. He’s moments from getting a drink tossed in his face when Bob tugs him away from the danger and they pull back, reevaluate.
The second pair is a bust too. The first woman doesn’t even let Jake get the full sentence out before she’s wagging her ring finger in his face.
“Married,” she says, her words clipped. “Move along, sailor.”
The third pair? The third pair works out. Jake hones in on one immediately, a blonde with big doe eyes, but the second one—you—rolls her eyes at him.
But when you turn to study Bob, you don’t roll your eyes. You hold out a hand, introduce yourself, ask for his rank, then pat the empty chair beside you.
“Settle in, Lieutenant,” and your smile is easy. “Let’s chat while we watch your friend strike out, huh?”
-----
It turns out you’re drunk, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing.
For one, you’ve fallen in with Bob Floyd, the most gentlemanly man a drunk, single girl could come across. He’d never take advantage, and in fact, he’ll end up driving you home at the end of the night, getting you into your apartment. He will take your shoes off of you, tuck you into your bed, and press a glass of water and a couple of ibuprofen on you before he sees himself out.
For another thing, Bob Floyd has fallen in with you, the most fiercely sweet drunk that a down-on-himself man could come across. You’re one of those loud cheerleader types when you drink; the kind of woman who chats up other women in the bathroom, who tells them they’re beautiful, that you love them. With your friend and Jake otherwise engaged, Bob finds himself caught in the tractor beam of your charm.
“You look sad,” you tell him around the rim of your glass. “Are you sad?”
You’re drunk and Bob is sad, and you’re staring at him with wide eyes that glitter in the low light of the bar, so he tells you. He tells you about his terrible date, the latest in a string of terrible dates, that he’s been single for so long and he’s not entirely convinced he’ll ever meet someone, that he’s too scrawny, that his glasses are terrible (one date called them serial killer glasses), that he’s too reserved to ever catch the eye of a woman, too unremarkable looking, let alone—
“No!” You cut him off by exclaiming it, a near-shout, and your hand finds his forearm and grips him there. “You’re gorgeous, Bill! Don’t even say you aren’t!”
He grins despite himself. “It’s Bob. But thanks. I mean, it’s nice of you to say—”
“Bob. Yes. Sorry. Bob, not Bill. I say it because it’s true.” You release your hold on his arm and sit back in your chair, your eyes narrowed now as you study him closer. You’re quiet for a long beat, and Bob squirms under your attention, but then you tell him more and he swears he breaks out in a full-body blush.
“You’re gorgeous, really,” you tell him. “It’s just that you have a sneakier handsomeness, you know? Like, that one there—” You gesture broadly at Jake. “—He’s, like, Ken-doll handsome. Like, he catches your eye because it’s all symmetrical and stuff, and he’s fine, but symmetry can be boring and someone like you, it’s sneaky. You have a nice face, and these nice blue eyes, and nice hair, and I bet people think about you after the fact like, ‘oh, that Bob guy, he’s not bad at all,’ and then even later it’s like, ‘oh, Bob, he’s pretty handsome.’ Because you’re that sneaky sort of handsome and that’s the worst damned kind.”
Bob isn’t entirely tracking what you mean, but he shakes his head at the unearned praise, and he can’t stop the smile that’s plastered on his face. He probably looks like a dope.
“Why’s that the worst kind?” he asks.
“Because it’s deadly!” You lean forward again, put your hand on his arm again. “Sneaky-handsome guys are like a virus because by the time you realize they’ve infected you, it’s too late.”
Bob chuckles. “I’m a virus? Suddenly my night has gotten worse, somehow.”
“No, not at all. It’s just…” You trail off, polish off your drink. You wave down Penny for another. “It’s just that you sneaky-handsome types never understand the power you have. Ken-doll over there knows he’s hot, and by the mere fact of him knowing he’s hot, he loses a considerable amount of hotness. But you have no idea you’re handsome, and that makes you even hotter.”
“I think there’s a string of women in the San Diego area that would disagree with your assessment,” Bob replies. “But I appreciate the compliment, nonetheless.”
“Oh, them.” You flap a hand, a dismissive wave. “There’s a lot of idiots in the world, Bob. You can’t let a string of women in the San Diego area make you feel bad.”
“I guess I just need to find someone who isn’t an idiot.”
“Ah, well!” You set your drink down and wave your hands in front of yourself in a ta-da sort of flourish. “Cal Tech graduate, Bobby. I work for NASA.”
He feels a warm flush at you calling him Bobby. “You’re a rocket scientist? Definitely not an idiot, then.”
“Astrobiologist, actually. And only an idiot sometimes, but never when it comes to the sneaky-handsome men here at the Hard Deck.”
Bob shakes his head, a little embarrassed at how much he likes you, a drunk stranger, talking him up. He tries to dial it back, afraid he’s going to fall in love before last call.
“You’re way too smart for me, then,” he tells you.
That makes you arch an eyebrow at him. “You afraid of smart women, Bobby?”
“Not at all. It’s just that smart, beautiful, and sweet? Do you understand the power you have?” He keeps his tone light, teasing, but he’s in over his head with this: he’s definitely going to fall in love before last call.
Of course he is. His question makes you laugh, a warm sound that knocks free the lump in his chest from his earlier failed date. Your laughter makes him feel drunk even though he hasn’t touched a drop; he feels warm and light and big-headed at how kind you’ve been to him, how sweet, but your laughter is the sound that makes him fall in love with you.
-----
The two of you stay until last call. Bagman and your friend disappear hours before then, and you shrug at Bob, say you called it all wrong, that you didn’t think Jake was your friend’s type.
Bob drives you home. You’re unsteady on your feet, so he hovers near you, but you manage reasonably well until it’s time to unlock your door. He watches you try it, then he reaches out and takes the keys from your hand.
It’s the first time he touches you.
He gets you inside. He gets you to your bedroom, and you flop gracelessly across the mattress, and Bob immediately goes into caretaker mode. He slides your shoes off of you, sets them in a neat row by your closet. He makes his way to your kitchen, gets you a glass of water, then stops in the bathroom. He rummages through your medicine cabinet—you use the same brand of toothpaste as he does, the same type of toothbrush, and Bob marvels at the strange intimacy of learning these things, the everyday things that not everyone is privy to about you. He finds some ibuprofen and shakes two out, then takes them and the water back to you.
You’re already drifting off to sleep, and Bob has to cajole you into sitting up. He gets you perched on the side of the bed and gives you the pills and water, which you take without complaints. He takes the empty glass back from you, and then there’s a moment—
—you sit on the edge of your bed and Bob stands over you, and you look up at him with your bleary eyes and he sees fear. You’re understanding what you’ve done, maybe: you’ve invited a strange man back to your place and you’re drunk, and he could do anything, and Bob sees the flicker of uncertainty, the beginning of fear in your eyes. It makes him feel sick because he’d never take advantage. It makes him sick that the world, being what the world is, makes this fear lance through the whiskey fumes in your head.
He reaches down to the foot of your bed where there’s a blanket neatly folded. He shakes it out, urges you to lie down, and when you do, he covers you up.
“Be sure to drink more water when you wake up,” he tells you softly.
The nascent fear fades out of your expression, and it’s replaced by a loose, goofy grin. You free a hand from under the blanket and give him a sloppy salute. “Aye, aye, captain.”
Bob sees himself out but not before he’s struck with a bit of brave optimism. He sees the little whiteboard by your refrigerator, and he writes out his name and his number. He drives home and sends up a silent prayer that his sneaky-handsome virus has already infected you, charmed as he is by your earnestly drunken (albeit clunky) analogy from earlier in the evening.
He wakes up the next morning and feels less hopeful. He queues up a playlist and sets out on his morning run, but his morning pessimism is misplaced: you call him a mile into his run, and Bob stutters in his steps to hear your voice—a little rough, but sunny nonetheless.
“I’m looking for a guy named Bobby,” you tell him over the phone, and he can hear the smile in your voice. “Lieutenant Blue Eyes.”
-----
The two of you make plans to meet up at the Hard Deck, but you don’t call it a date so Bob doesn’t either. He’s in unfamiliar territory: things have always been a date or not a date in the past, but he’s noticed that many of his Dagger teammates speak in looser terms—meeting up, hanging out—with potential partners. He’s unsure how to handle it; if he seems too casual, you might miss his interest. If he comes on too strong, he might scare you off.
He decides to just turn up in his uniform, as he usually does, and when he arrives at the Hard Deck, you are already there. You’re perched in a bar stool and chatting to Penny, but when he strolls in, you see him.
You smile at him as he walks over to you, but then you shake your head in a mock-rueful way.
“Oh, no,” you say as you hop off of your stool. You open your arms and Bob steps into them, and you hug him warmly like you’re old friends. “I thought maybe it was just whiskey-goggles that night, but you really are cute.”
Bob chuckles. He releases you, then takes the stool beside yours. “Well, I’ve been downgraded. You called me handsome that night,” he points out.
“Sneaky-handsome, actually.”
“There seems to be a whole spectrum here that I was never privy to.”
You wave down Penny who comes and takes your orders. Once your drinks are in front of you—a hard cider for you, a shandy for Bob—you click your glass against his.
“Here’s to the sneaky-handsome men of the world,” you say.
Bob ducks his head and grins “And to the rocket scientists,” he adds.
A date or not a date…the evening passes in a blink, and you leave Bob that night entirely sober after long conversations and a lot of easy laughter. You pull him in for another hug before you part, and this hug lingers longer than the hug you gave him as a greeting. When you pull away, though, you gaze at him with a somber expression.
“I wanted to thank you for the other night,” you tell him. “For being a gentleman when you took me home.”
“Of course.”
“No, I mean it.” Your hands on his upper arms squeeze him a little firmer. “You could have taken advantage, and you didn’t. You’re a good one, Bob.”
He shakes his head, tries to wave you off, but you squeeze him again. You don’t let him shrug off your thanks. You don’t let him downplay his goodness.
“You are a good man, Bob,” you repeat, and you stare at him, like you’re daring him to disagree.
Bob, who finds that you’re something of a force to be reckoned with, wouldn’t dare to disagree.
-----
He’s still not entirely clear if this is dating or not. Neither of you actually says the word. You text each other steadily, and you meet up sometimes at the Hard Deck, but your schedule isn’t great and Bob’s is even worse. He worries that he’s missed his chance. When he talks about it to the other Daggers, Hangman rolls his eyes and tells Bob he should have taken his shot earlier, that Bob is pretty much friend-zoned now, but Nat rolls her eyes at that and says he’s overthinking it.
Of course Bob overthinks it. Bob overthinks everything.
He doesn’t know yet that you overthink everything too. That you are going through your own pangs of regret, that you think you’ve missed your chance too, that your friends circle around you too and give you tough-love pep talks to build up your courage to take the lead on this burgeoning thing with Bob.
And ultimately, Bob’s hunch that you’re a force to be reckoned with is correct. In the end, you take charge.
-----
You end up inviting him over for dinner on a night when your schedules align, and Bob overthinks that too.
What if it’s a date-date, and he turns up too casual, with nothing in his hands—no wine, no flowers? Or the opposite—what if he dresses up a little, brings you a mixed bouquet, and it’s just a casual friends-type thing?
Bob has no idea how he can manage the systems on a sophisticated plane because his brain grinds to a painful halt the moment he starts to contemplate this dinner at your place. It’s Nat—it’s always Nat, with her no-nonsense lens into the mystique of her fellow women—who smacks some sense into him.
“Wear a nice shirt, shower beforehand, and take a bottle of wine,” she tells him.
“But what if—”
“It’s always polite to take a gift, Bob.” She rolls her eyes, heaves a sigh. “And it’s always polite to, you know. Shower. Show up fresh-smelling and neat. Jesus Christ. Just go.”
So Bob turns up at your apartment, a mid-tier bottle of wine in his sweaty hand. Freshly showered, a daub of cologne behind his ears, and a nice blue button-down that brings out his eyes.
And it’s a good thing he took Nat’s advice too, because you open the door in the sweetest sundress, and there’s music softly playing and the most heavenly smells wafting from your kitchen. Bob realizes all at once that it’s a date-date after all, and his heart does an alarming little stutter in his chest, enough to stun him until you take his hand and gently pull him inside.
-----
Part of Bob’s issue with women is his inability to pick up on subtle, sometimes invisible cues. He has always fallen in with the sort of women who play mind games, who play coy and say one thing while meaning another. He always feels back on his heels; it feels like women speak a language he’s only slightly fluent in, so he’s always playing catch-up to translate what they mean.
But it’s refreshing with you, in this moment, because as you both sit down to the feast you’ve prepared, you just talk with him. The two of you chat about your lives, you catch each other up since the last time you’ve talked, and Bob almost forgets to be nervous.
Almost. A pair of tapered candles flicker between you and cast your lovely face in a golden glow, and low, bluesy music sets the soundtrack as you eat. You sip at the wine he brought, and he eats your home-cooking, and Bob imagines an entire life like this…and he almost misses the way you keep swiping your palms along your thighs, like you’re nervous.
Almost. He leans into his WSO work, studies you closely like you’re a dashboard of lights and alarms and switches. He watches you a little closer, and he sees the way your throat bobs when you swallow a mouthful of wine, like you’re swallowing past a lump or going all dry-mouthed on him. He sees the deep breaths you take, the way you press the back of your hand to your neck, like you’re flushed and trying to calm yourself.
“You’re nervous,” he blurts out when he realizes it for sure, and you pause in where you’re lifting the wine glass to your mouth and stare at him.
“I am.” It’s that simple. No mind games, no coy pretending.
“It’s just me,” Bob says.
You smile at him, and it trembles a little at the corners. He can feel the nerves in you now, and he reaches out a hand across the table, palm up. He makes a grabby motion with it until your smile firms up and you lay your hand in his, and he grasps you lightly.
“It’s just me,” he repeats.
“And I like just-you,” you tell him. “Like-like, I mean. I wanted to tell you so tonight.”
His heart does that wicked little stutter in his chest, but he squeezes your hand. “Sounds like you just told me then.”
“Guess so.” You watch him, and your smile seems tremulous again, so Bob replies, “I like you too.”
It’s that simple. After you each put yourself through your own overthinking hell, each suffering through your own sleepless nights and needless worrying about dumb things like friend zones, it comes down to a moment so simple that it’s stupid: just the two of you holding hands as you confess your mutual feelings matter-of-factly.
-----
It feels too easy. After months (years) of struggling to even land the occasional first date, suddenly Bob’s dream girl turns up just like that. It feels too easy, and so Bob slips into his overthinking almost immediately.
It goes fine after dinner, when the two of you trade nervous kisses on your couch until the nerves burn off enough that your mouth slotted over his feels natural, that you move in concert with each other—your head tilting one way, his tilting the other, no longer bumping noses or knocking his glasses askew.
It goes fine as you climb into his lap, the solid weight of you a welcome sensation because Bob’s head feels like it’s filled with helium, drunk and fizzy from the feel of your lips against his, your tongue against his own.
It goes fine when you climb off of him, shaky-legged like a newborn foal. When you hold out your hand and take his to lead him back to your bedroom.
The moment he finds himself stripped down to his boxers and lying on your bed is the moment it falls apart.
It’s like every mean comment, every brush-off and ghosting, every roll of the eyes and beleaguered sigh and overheard commentary about him crowds into the room and leaves no space for this moment with you. Bob thinks of all the feedback he’s ever gotten on dates—the serial killer eye glasses, the lack of muscles, the lack of game. He tries to take a deep breath and finds he can barely pull in a lungful, and his throat feels like it’s closing on him—
And he can’t get hard. His near-erection from making out on the couch deflates, and even though you are perched over him—you’ve shed your sundress, and you’re in the sexiest, sweetest lingerie set, powder pink, like the underside of a cloud at sunrise—he cannot coax himself back to attention.
The panic that floods him—he recognizes the feeling. He’s felt it a million times. He feels the hot, splotchy redness as it breaks out across his chest and neck, and his face flushes furiously bright, and you notice it all in real time. The sultry, heavy-lidded look on your face disappears and is replaced by pure concern.
“Bob? Bobby? Are you…okay?” You reach a hand out and cup his face, and your palm had felt warm earlier but now it feels cool….which proves how hot he’s flushed, how feverish his panic makes him feel.
“I’m sorry. Shit, honey. I’m…I gotta go.” He tries to sit up but your mattress is soft and he flails a moment, and if Bob were just a bit younger he’d burst into tears at how sideways this has all gone so suddenly. You served him up the perfect evening, you’re kneeling right beside him in the hottest fucking lingerie, and he’s been reduced to a stuttering, red-face idiot who can’t even get hard—
“Hey.” You lay your hand on his bare chest, steady him. “Hey, hey, hey. Take a second. Just breathe, Bobby.”
“I gotta—”
“Just relax.” You press against his chest, tap your forefinger against his skin. “Breathe for me, okay? Everything’s fine.”
“It’s not. Fuck, it’s not!” He raises his voice, winces at how shrill he sounds, and the dam in him breaks. Something in him dislodges, and it all spills out: every mean, rotten thing he’s ever thought about himself. Every bit of unfair criticism, every insult and slight and how his own insecurity has twisted it all into a crippling imposter syndrome. How he only ever feels competent at his job but how he struggles with everything else, and now how he’s fucked it all up with you because he’s overthinking, always trapped in the own tangled maze of his mind, always waiting for the other shoe to drop because he’s not good enough, he can’t even get hard even with you looking like a dream—
“Hey. Whoa.” You remove your hand from his chest, but you scoot over to sit beside him, turned to face him, your expression very similar to the night he met you—the same easy smile, the same studious eyes.
“Nothing’s ruined. You haven’t fucked anything up. Take a breath. Is this because of that bad first date you had the night we met?”
He nods. “A little bit.”
“There’s been other bad first dates, I guess?”
Another nod.
“And now you’re worried this is just another bad first date?”
“Yeah.” It comes out a croak, a roughness in his throat.
“Hmm.” You lean forward, press a soft kiss to his forehead. “You wanna hear about my worst first date ever?”
“No, honey, it’s okay—”
“His name was Justin.” Another soft kiss, this one to his temple. “Good job, good looking.” Another kiss, to the other temple, right at his hairline. “Picked me up and gave me flowers, took me out to San Diego’s most exclusive restaurant that has a reservation list a mile long.”
Bob chuckles weakly. “Sounds awful,” he says, wry.
You hum again, kiss his flushed cheek. “He was charming at dinner.” A kiss on his other cheek. “Said all the right things. Asked about my life and listened to my answers.” The lightest of kisses on the tip of his nose, and it makes him smile despite himself.
“Halfway through dessert, a woman comes up to our table.” Bob feels the gentle press of your lips at the corner of his mouth, and he turns his head to kiss you back, but you pull away.
“It was Justin’s wife.” A flurry of kisses now, to his chin, along his jawline, near his ear.
“He was cheating,” Bob says.
“Nope.” A kiss, this one lingering, under his jaw, on his neck. “Turns out, this was a little game he and his wife play. Some weird cheating, cuckolding fantasy.” Your lips skate over his pulse point. “He takes a girl out, his wife pretends to catch them, and then they go to a nearby hotel to fuck each other senseless.”
“Oh, shit.”
“Oh, shit is right.” You lift your head to gaze at him. “Asshole left me with the bill for dinner too. So Bobby….you’re not my worst first date. You’re not even close.”
“Honey—”
“You have no idea how hard you’re gonna have to work to really, honestly fuck this up.” You grin at him, and then you straddle his lap again, and he lays his hands on your hips and stares up at you.
“Because you’re, like, exactly the sort of man I’ve always been looking for. You’re that sneaky-handsome sort, and you’re smart and sweet, and you took care of me that first night when I was too drunk to make good choices.” You cup his face in your hands, and you stare at him hard, that sweet forcefulness on full display, like you dare him to disagree with you.
“It’s already a sure thing, Bobby.” You lean forward, kiss him gently. “There’s no pressure to do anything tonight. Don’t even think about needing to do anything. How about you just let me love on you, and you just relax, and if you can keep your secret wife from busting in and turning this into a cuckolding fantasy, we’ll end the night just fine, okay?”
That makes him laugh, and it breaks the spell of his terrible ruminating. Bob laughs, and he slides his hands from your hips up to your waist to feel your soft skin.
“I didn’t even think of getting a secret wife before I came here,” he confesses.
“See? It’s a sure thing, then.” You lean forward again, whisper in his ear, your warm breath making him break out in goosebumps as you tell him to just relax and let you love on him.
-----
The antidote to Bob’s awful overthinking, as it turns out, is your care and praise.
As far as first dates go, this is the one where Bob learns something new about his own sexuality. He learns, thanks to you, that he has a praise kink, because your hands and mouth and body on his feels amazing, but it’s your words that make him hard.
Loving on him means you touch him everywhere. You kiss him everywhere. You stroke him, press your soft lips to him, lick against parts of him until he feels like he’s on fire in a way that is completely different than his panic attack. You kiss every inch of his face and neck. You trail your mouth over his shoulders and collarbones, across every bit of his chest and belly, and you praise him whenever your mouth isn’t otherwise occupied.
Look at you, Bobby. Hiding this body away under that uniform.
You praise his arms, the muscles of his chest and abs. You praise his shoulders and back, the smattering of chest hair, the trail of hair that leads down and disappears under the waistband of his boxers, and you glance up at him, the question in your eyes as you toy with the elastic.
“Can I?” you ask, and Bob nods, swallows hard, and you go lower, you push his boxers down and his cock is there, hard from your honied words.
“Holy shit,” you blurt out. “Bob, are you for real with this?”
It probably seems like a cliché, like the pretty girl in a movie who somehow never realized she was pretty, but Bob has never really considered his size. He’s been around plenty of other penises through the course of his career, but he’s never exactly eyed up other men and measured himself against them. The handful of women he’s slept with never said anything so he assumed he was average, but you praise him here too—you tell him he has a beautiful cock, and Bob blushes at the compliment. He’d never call it beautiful, but when you wrap your palm around his shaft and grip him gently, he’d agree to any adjective you might offer, so long as you never let him go.
This feels too easy too, but the panic never claws at Bob’s throat again. You’ve chosen him, you’ve made it a sure thing for him, and you’ve cut through his awkward moment of near-flight to get him to this: your body stretched alongside his, your breasts pressed against his arm, your hand working against his cock while you whisper praise in his ear.
And every time doubt starts to creep in—he should be touching you too, he should be making you feel good too—you hush him, you still his mouth by kissing him, and you tell him that he has all the time in the world for touching you, but he should let you take care of him now.
His orgasm creeps up in fits and starts, and it seems to ratchet closer with each bit of praise you lavish on him, more so than each movement of your hand working against his cock.
“I want you to come for me, Bobby,” you whisper against his neck. You kiss his pulse point, a plush, open-mouth kiss that makes him shiver as you grip him tighter, work a faster rhythm with your hand. “Come for me like a good boy.”
He wants to be good for you; he wants to do as you say. Some not-so-small part of him craves your approval, and maybe the two of you will play around with that sort of dynamic in the future, but for now, he just wants to obey you. He wants to do his part to salvage the night he thinks he almost ruined, so he breathes in time to your strokes, focuses on every sensation—the softness of your breasts pressed against him, your wet, hot mouth kissing him, the light scent of your perfume. The tension in his belly is a coil, and it tightens and tightens until it snaps, and his hips stutter against your grasping hand. He gasps out your name, warns you, and then a beat later, he comes. He spills over your hand, thick ropes of cum coating your fingers and wrist, spilling over onto his belly.
“Just like that, baby.” You kiss his panting mouth, and he feels the curve of your lips as you give a pleased smile. “It’s that simple.”
#bob floyd#bob floyd imagine#bob floyd x reader#bob floyd x you#top gun maverick#kinktober 2023#tropes and tales
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ᯓ★ alone together
ᝰ hwang hyunjin x gn!reader
ᝰ wc: 569
ᝰ an: i wrote it a few weeks ago when i wasnt feeling too well and then i listened to alone together by fall out boy and boom! i wrote this fic :3 i hope you'll like it, please remember to leave feedback !!<3
you didn’t know what time it was when you finally entered your flat. you only knew it was late - too late for your liking. letting out a loud sigh you kicked off your shoes, not caring about putting them neatly on the shelf. you only dreamed of going to sleep so the day could finally be over.
it’d been too much lately - the voices in your head got louder again and your boss had been acting like a complete bitch, making your life miserable and leaving you feeling like a failure. you were overworked and overwhelmed and you could only take so much before breaking down completely.
you dragged your lifeless body to the bathroom, stripping down of your work attire and letting the warm stream of shower water rinse the exhaustion and ache from your muscles. you didn’t bother doing your skincare - with your state, you were proud of yourself for just showering and every other thing seemed like too much of a hustle in that moment. leaving the bathroom, you felt a sting in the corner of your eyes and you let the tears fall down your cheeks, thinking it could be best. after all, even clouds cry when they feel too heavy.
you entered your bedroom with a foggy sight, not entirely aware of your surroundings, so when you heard a quiet groan you wiped your eyes, scanning the room in confusion.
“hyune?” you asked in a small voice, finally acknowledging that your fiancé was home. he hummed softly, not saying anything and it confused you even more. “baby, what are you doing here? i thought you were staying at changbin’s tonight?”
hyunjin shook his head, burying his face deep into the pillow, and you brought your hand to his hair, threading your fingers through his dishevelled locks. you took your time to massage his scalp and hyunjin seemed to visibly relax under your touch, finally looking up at you.
“why are you crying?” he whispered with worry, ignoring your question. he stretched out his arms and invited you into his embrace which you gladly accepted without a word. his strong arms wrapped around your body, creating a shelter for you and your messy thoughts. “bad day?” hyunjin added, placing a gentle peck at your temple.
“yeah,” your voice was small and weak as you replied, the tears starting to fall again. “you too?”
“yeah.”
there was no need for further explanation. without a word, you snuggled closer into hyunjin’s chest, hearing his heartbeat - your favourite lullaby. the silence filled the room, the only things that could be heard were your quiet sniffles and hyunjin’s heavy breathing as he tried to calm himself down. suddenly, a wave of guilt filled your body. you looked up at your fiancé, the sight of his troubled expression making your heart sink.
“i’m sorry i can’t help you right now,” you said, your voice barely above the whisper. hyunjin shook his head, closing his eyes.
“it’s okay, you’re hurting too. we can be two troubled souls together until we are ready to help each other, yeah?”
you nodded weakly, more tears spilling from your puffy eyes, and hyunjin was quick to wipe them from your face. you leaned to kiss him and he didn’t protest. it was messy, just like your minds at that moment, but neither of you seemed to care as you found comfort in each other’s arms.
ᝰ taglist: @astraystayyh @laylasbunbunny @l3visbby @like-a-diamondinthesky @hanjsquokka @xichien @inniescandy-01
#skz#stray kids#stray kids headcanons#stray kids imagines#stray kids x reader#skz au#stray kids scenarios#stray kids fluff#stray kids comfort#stray kids hurt/comfort#skz hyunjin#hyunjin x reader#hyunjin scenarios#hyunjin fluff#hyunjin comfort#hyunjin hurt/comfort#hyunjin headcanons#hwang hyunjin imagines
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FLAVOR PROFILE—afab+gn!reader, angst and comfort??? smoking, alcohol, established friendship, feelings, f!masturbation, loss of virginity, body worship, biting, scratching, tiniest hint of corruption (there should've been more I’m sorry) and possessive aku, praise, fingering, penetration, creampie
ABV—6.1k
BAR OSAMUCIDE IS STRICTLY AN 18+ ESTABLISHMENT. FAILURE TO PROVIDE VALID ID/AGE IN BIO UPON INTERACTING WILL RESULT IN REMOVAL FROM THE PREMISES. MINORS AND AGELESS BLOGS WILL BE BLOCKED.
"Really?"
He can't believe you're laughing at him. You swear you're not—you've sworn twice now. He just sighs and snatches your cigarette from you.
"I just kind of can't believe it, Ryuu," you rationalize, pressing your shoulder against his. "I'm not, I promise. I'm not laughing because it's funny. Just surprised, that's all."
Surprised, sure, alright. Look at me, he wants to spit at you, but he's hacking from holding the smoke in his lungs just a moment too long and so you work the dart from his fingers and tuck it back between your lips as he rights himself.
Akutagawa crosses his arms, not unlike a pouting child, and fixes his eyes on the brick wall across from you both and the one you lean back on as you're sat atop some wooden crate, one long discarded after a weapons shipment or whatever else. He can't help but feel a little small beneath your reaction, but you resume issuing soft kicks to the gravel beneath your feet like it was nothing—like you hadn't just drawn probably one of the most humiliating confessions out of him. He never really gave a second thought to all that before you came around, but now that he's beside you, elbows crossed over his knees as he draws them closer to himself, he suddenly feels like he should've before.
You finish your cigarette in silence, pointedly not moving away from him.
"I'm sorry," you say softly, sincerely as you chuck the butt to the ground in front of you. "Didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."
"I'm not uncomfortable." But he still doesn't look at you. Akutagawa's dealing with more than one predicament at the present moment and he needs to sort them before he can turn his attention back to you.
One—he doesn't know if it would've been more or less attractive, or maybe repulsive, if he could've said, yeah, I've fucked plenty of people before, or at least I've fucked someone, and Akutagawa's aware he's a lot of filthy things, but apparently he's neither a liar nor a whore, and it leads him right to his second predicament, which is this: why does he care whether you find him attractive or repulsive?
How long has he care what you think of him at all? And last: what does it mean, that he does?
It's that last one that his thoughts get snagged on.
You tap your foot beneath you. This alleyway is where you always drag him off to when you feel like getting away from work. He can hardly remember the last time he said no to you when it came to escaping Mori's iron rule for an hour or so. But he wishes he would've today, kind of like he wishes he would've skipped the only other time he can recall wishing to have skipped—the day you let him smoke one of your cigarettes.
It's funny how your conversation from that day parallels the exchange from minutes ago. It sticks in his mind right now. You, at least two years younger and having known him on a much more superficial level than you do now, had laughed a little; it makes him feel only marginally better about you laughing now. Even then you were reassuring him, not because it's funny, but just because—I don't know, that's what I do when I’m surprised, I guess. He's always envied your ability to find joy in small things like that, after all.
You didn't make him feel small just now. He finds ways to do that all on his own; he knows that. He must've been weak back then because he'd inhaled less tar than you, and he hated that, so he did it when you offered. But now, here he was. You know he's never even kissed anyone, let alone fucked. The sensical pattern, thinking back to that day when you tapped a cigarette out of your pack for him, lit it off your own, good-naturedly patted his back as the coughs raged out of him because he inhaled it all down way too fast for someone with clean lungs—
Where exactly would that lead now, logically?
It's not like he's never thought about it. But you don't need to know that.
Akutagawa turns his his head away from you, chin on his arms. He can feel his face burn. He won't let you see.
But he knows you now, and you know him. And he knows you'll offer anyway.
You sit in silence, maybe ten minutes more, kicking the ground and letting your eyes flutter open and shut, before you pull another smoke out of your pack and stick it in your mouth.
“Well,” you mumble as your lighter flicks, “If you wanna change that…”
He doesn’t move. He can still feel the crate trembling from how you tap your foot, which is good, because he’s a little restless himself. You draw off your cigarette; he sees the smoke dissipate in his peripheral as your head falls back to rest on the brick. What he doesn’t see is your little half-smirk, but he knows it’s there.
It’s not that Akutagawa doesn’t like you. Anyone that knows him well can probably see he likes you, or at least tolerates you—he lets you drag him here week after week, shift after shift, after all. He gives you grace, even if it’s small, when you fuck up on jobs—something he never gives to anyone else, hardly even Chuuya. He doesn’t flinch or swat you away when you absentmindedly pull him in some direction by his elbow or his wrist; he doesn’t scoff at you when you lean up against him, like you are right now, and shift away from you or push you off like he might even with Gin. To someone who doesn’t know him, he probably looks indifferent to you at worst, and indifference and tolerance, and maybe even liking, tend to go hand-in-hand when it comes to the wielder of Rashoumon. He’s not outright evil to you, and that’s enough—if for no one else, for you. But you know him by now.
And because you know him, you know what he’ll say next.
“No.”
And it’s not because he doesn’t like you, which is why you’ll do what you do next, and he knows you will because he knows you, too, by now���enough to maybe like you—you’ll press him.
“Aw, why not?” It drawls out of you lightheartedly, almost jokingly.
It might have something to do with the fact that you’ve never looked at him with fear, disgust, or hatred in your eyes—not even before you knew one another so well and he would regularly, in response to your antics, threaten to beat you to a pulp with his black beast. It might have something to do with how you seem to look right through him like that, and then inadvertently boost his ego by telling him you think he totally has the capacity to be cool, or even normal, doing things like fucking and smoking cigarettes. He wants to laugh at how silly it all sounds to him. Akutagawa’s never been good at letting himself understand why you make him feel the way you do. Why he deserves your kindness or companionship. Why you can’t see him for what he is: a war machine, configured from birth, far beyond—or maybe beneath—any sort of semblance of a normal destiny that includes indulgence. Love. It would make him respect you less, hate you, maybe, if it wasn’t so secretly pleasant, the fact that you don’t look at him like that. The fact that you seem to think he does deserve something more than misery.
I have a feeling this is gonna be a long partnership, so it’d be a lot more fun if you smoked! You said that the day you were assigned to each other, before you knew about his lung condition, and he knew he shouldn’t have ever accepted your offer that day in this very alleyway because he ended up liking the head high cigarettes gave him, even if it was horrible for him.
The same way he likes you, and it makes him unbearably soft. The same way he’d probably like kissing you. Fucking you. Another thing that’ll kill him one day, one way or another. He knows if he gets any closer than he is, and then for some reason you leave—die, run away, decide your relationship is awkward now and he’s horrible and you hate him, whatever—it’d kill him, undoubtedly. Better not to smoke the cigarette. Better not to fuck the only real friend he thinks he’s had since he was watching his back every moment he lived in the slums. Anything that felt good was almost certainly a trap laid to hurt him.
“Because,” he huffs.
If for sole annoyance or disgust, he would’ve bitched you out. But he doesn’t. You note this. So, you let it go. Because you know him.
“Alright,” you sigh. Not disappointed, not dismissive. Just affirming and understanding. It blows his mind all over again. He doesn't move, doesn't look at you. "Well, I suppose we should get back." Your eyes flick to your wristwatch. "Kouyou wanted us for something in about a half hour."
Some silly meeting in some bar. Chuuya's not there to keep her from getting off topic, so Akutagawa sits beneath the low light (on the edge of the booth, thank god), you next to him, while your superior's ordering another round of whisky sodas for the table.
When Kouyou distributes the drinks, Akutagawa slides his toward you, which you then slide to the man on your other side. His name's Shota—one of Chuuya's subordinates—and he takes it off your hands happily. You nestle your own between your hands on the tabletop.
"But as I was saying," the scarlet-haired woman continues, "it's going to have to happen over the weekend. I don't think it's wise to do anything until Nakahara's back from Tokyo, which will be Friday at the earliest, and the tracking number for the Makarov shipment on its way in got thrown in the trash so Hirotsu's going to have to..."
Akutagawa's gaze trains steadily on your hands; his own are busy, one propping his chin up, the other circling rings over the rim of his first and only glass, now empty. It's not out of the ordinary for him to tune out of Kouyou's tipsy ramblings, especially when Chuuya will be back in a few days to explain the game plan concisely and soberly. What is out of the ordinary is that he's still stiff, thinking about your conversation from the alleyway and the tone in which you so nonchalantly cooed aw, why not? Almost as if you'd been a little disappointed when he said no, he wouldn't take you up on your offer. Were you? He has to doubt it. You've always been a little too eager to get him fucked up on Chuuya's wine, drag him out of work, pull him out of his comfort zone—he'd seen the unmistakable excitement on your face the first time you'd jammed a cigarette between his lips. But that is way too far out of his wheelhouse, and he's pretty sure you both know it.
Even if he does keep thinking about it.
You, well—you sip your second whisky and take note of his fidgeting. Although your drink’s only half gone, you tap your foot against his, glancing between him and the door; he looks at you, then back down at his empty glass, clears his throat and nods ever so subtly. Code exhcange for I'm bored, wanna leave? Of course. So when the conversation lulls, you both stand.
"Kazuha has us at eight-thirty," you explain, bidding everyone good evening and seeing yourselves out the door before anyone has the chance to ask what for.
"Kazuha? That was the best lie you could come up with?"
"Are we still sitting in there or not?" you refute, cigarette dangling from your mouth as you walk with your hands behind your head in the direction of headquarters. "Can't wait to get home."
"Yeah, after your hard day," Akutagawa mutters.
"Hey, watch it," you poke. "I moved shit all morning. Need a shower bad."
Which is exactly what you do after you depart from your partner and scamper up to your apartment. But first you take the liberty of lighting a few candles, cracking your bathroom window for a breeze, dancing around to a little music as a bath full of lavender salts warms, and rubbing out your sore knees with that pain relief oil Higuchi recommended to you. It's true, you did spend all morning getting shipments from the port; the less luxurious side of the life and work of a mafioso moving their way up the ladder isn't something you're unfamiliar with, although you do it less now.
You settle in, sighing. Maybe it's wrong to still be thinking about it, but you had sort of hoped Akutagawa would take to your little quip earlier with at least a hint of curiosity, or bring it up on your walk home even if just to tell you how absurd it was that you'd even think such a thing; perhaps you should've been more deliberate, you think. Or maybe it's a good thing that you weren't. He's one of the last people you'd want to make things weird with—outside of being the (rather oblivious) object of your affection, he's still your coworker and, as of recent years, very best friend. Somewhat of a literal partner in crime. You snicker at that as your shoulders dip below the water. You momentarily debate trying to dismiss your little feelings for the night, and you will, for the most part—but while you're relieving physical tension under the soft flicker of your candles and the hum of the city below you, you figure you might as well dispel your disappointment, too, and you trace your fingers down the curve of your hip to find yourself wet in a way that has nothing to do with the water.
Meanwhile, Akutagawa is pacing his living quarters. He's already taken a cold shower to stave off what has only become more difficult not to think about now that you're gone—he doesn't have to hold it together for you or anyone, and he finds himself trying to sit still on the edge of his bed as his phone sits a few feet away on the nightstand. Should he text you about it? Call you? Fuck that—you do a fine job of flustering him when you're barely trying, but if he let you know—god, if he let you know, he'd never hear the end of it. Text or call you to talk about anything else, even if just to hear your voice and have your presence? No, he has a feeling that would drive him even further up the tree he's chased himself up; he's sitting, tapping his foot like you were earlier when he should've been able to answer you normally, his apartment is dead silent, his dick's half-hard in his sweatpants and he doesn't know what to do.
You probably weren't even serious. If he was smart, he would've jacked off in the shower and called it a night.
But he likes you. More than you realize—more than you can realize, because he's always stone-faced, no-bullshit, hard-ass Akutagawa and he doesn't know how to be anything else, even when you're around and ecouraging him to loosen up. You can't possibly realize how much you've done for him in terms of easing his anxiety over always being good enough, in terms of helping him understand his humanity, in terms of making him feel like a real person.
He suddenly feels like he's on a tightrope of keeping you close and messing it all up, and whichever way he decides to fall will inevitably bring unending frustration that he could've done something different, something better.
And maybe this is an opening. Or a pinnacle that his relationship with you was doomed to come to. Either way, he can't sit in his apartment. Marching forward, like he always does—no matter how hesitantly—he slips his jacket on and shoves his keys in his pocket before he's heading for the elevator.
It's not until he's staring at the interface of buttons that he decides between launching himself to the ground for a long walk along the port or punching in your floor.
And you're so close—your back's arching, your jaw hangs slack, you're spilling water down the side of the tub that pools on the floor, but you'll worry about it later—when you hear manic pounding coming from your hallway. Maybe it's not yours, you think, screwing your eyes shut and working your fingers back and forth in tight circles around your clit because you want it, damn it, but your apartment's so damn big that it's almost impossible to conceive of it being for anyone else.
"One minute!" you shout, rising out of the water with grumbling breath to wrap yourself in a towel and blow all your candles out in one swipe. But whoever it is doesn't hear you, or doesn't care—the harsh knocking pattern booms again, and you almost trip over your pile of discarded work clothes as you fumble out of the bathroom wondering what could possibly be so important, and on account of who, that they had to interrupt your first hour of alone time all day, not to mention when you were so deliciously close to an orgasm you'd been working yourself up to with painstaking care. You'd even edged yourself a little, just because you figured you had time; you would've gotten it over with if you'd have known you were on call, but here you are, unsatisfied and stomping to your door, about to crack it open and take whatever orders were about to be unloaded onto you with a smile and can-do attitude.
You fling the door open.
“What?”
Akutagawa’s fist is still raised to knock. You watch his eyes behind his sunglasses as they flit down to you—you in nothing but a towel—and his face breaks out in a blush you’ve never seen on him before.
If you were any less annoyed, you would’ve smirked.
“Ryuu, what?” you snap again as his hand falls to his side. Whatever it is, if someone needs backup, if it’s urgent, you wish he’d tell you already—it’s so unlike him to stand speechless that you almost want to ask if something else is going on. “Can you spit it out so I know if I should get dressed, please?”
No, he wants to croak out, but you’ll just keep barraging him with questions—all he does is fumble his way inside your apartment with please don’t get dressed on the back of his tongue and that really strange, dazed look behind his glasses. He can't even blame the alcohol from earlier—he only had one, and it's had ample time to wear off.
“Ryuunosuke—”
He freezes where he is, steely eyes locking onto yours, and his voice leaves him, hoarse. “Say that again, please.”
You look at him incredulously, scrunching your towel up beneath your fist that holds it up. “Tell me what’s going on.”
Akutagawa feels small again. This was the wrong decision. He should’ve gone for that walk. He should’ve jerked off in the shower and then went to bed and tossed and turned until he finally fell into an erratic sleep and he should not be here, he should wake up tomorrow morning, sleep-deprived and full of regret but knowing he’s safe because he didn’t go to your apartment to find you in nothing but a towel and he spared your relationship, he didn’t make it weird, and he’d look at you longingly for the rest of however long, only when you weren’t looking just so you’d never know how much agony your stupid little joke from earlier today put him in.
But you’re expecting an answer, and out of all the filthy things Akutagawa is convinced he is, he is not a liar.
His eyes fly to the ground. Your legs, knocking together from the chill of the water droplets that still cling to them.
“I haven’t been able to stop thinking about earlier,” he forces out. “What you said.”
You hesitate. “What I said…?” Had you said something wrong?
Great, he thinks, mouth falling open. So you weren’t serious.
“You know what, nevermind.” He shouldn’t be here. He goes to push past you, toward your still-open door, but you stop him, shutting the door and pushing a palm against his chest.
“Tell me,” you mean to say, but it sounds more like a question; his pale face flushes again, and you search him with your gaze. He seems to shrink a little more before he sighs and looks to you once more.
“If I wanted to change that I’ve never…”
You wait.
“Kissed.”
You blink, cock your head.
“Or fucked anyone.”
Your hand lets up on his chest, and you find yourself taking a step back—little, but it sends your partner reeling into self-doubt all over again.
“You want…” You speak, quietly, with less urgency than you have thus far. “You wanna fuck me?”
And Akutagawa’s nodding, more frantically than his pride would prefer. But he’s nodding. Not looking at you. Waiting for you to laugh and clap him on the shoulder with a yeah, as if and tell him to go home.
But your fingers slide up to curl along the side of his neck. When his eyes are still downcast, you cup his jaw in your palm.
“Ryuu, look at me.”
Here it comes. The big rejection. He’s ready. He’ll go home and punch a hole in his wall, but he’s ready to hold it together right now.
His eyes drift to yours again, still cold and nervous, like a dog’s when it’s about to bite.
But you smile, trace your thumb along his bottom lip, and whisper.
He has no idea how much you mean what you're saying next.
“I wish you would’ve just led with that.”
It’s like bombs are about to detonate in his brain. He knows what he should do next—he should kiss you, he should throw himself at you and let your tongue between his lips, but part of the reason why he’s here is because he never has, and he trusts you to show him—just what kind of weak has he become, trusting someone with their teeth so close to his throat? It doesn’t matter because he wants it, he just wants you to—
“Show me, please.”
To his displeasure, you don't latch onto him like a hungry animal. Instead, your fingers drift down to his and wind between them; you lead him past the couch to your bedroom, sit him down, and pull your towel a little tighter around you. He wants it off, he wants to see you—even if the thought of sitting naked himself, in front of you, makes his stomach flip, he wants nothing more than to tear the towel away, get to exploring the ways you like to be touched, hear sounds from you he's never heard before.
"Ryuu," you say, one hand on his shoulder. "Be sure you want this."
"I do," he squeaks out, hardly ever having heard his own voice so meek.
"Tell me. Say it."
"I want it," his words follow yours seamlessly, without another thought. He's already established in his mind that he trusts you. But he's still sort of waiting for you to start chuckling and tell him this is a big joke; his hands tremble as you stare, digging for uncertainty, but you don't find any. So as you hold your towel against you, you crawl carefully onto his lap, astride his waist.
And now, he has you. Between his fingers. They find the curve of your waist as you curl an arm around the back of his neck after you work the jacket off from around his shoulders, tear his glasses off, push his soft bangs from his face. Akutagawa looks at you with so much wonder, so much need; you set your weight on him, and you feel him, and his nails grip your ass through the towel.
"Please, don't be gentle," he whispers when your lips hover immediately over his. He can feel your breath, warm and inviting, as the tip of your nose brushes past his.
You smile into his mouth and wrap your other arm around him.
You let the towel fall as you kiss him.
Hot, slow.
And the bombs go off all at once. Before the towel can pool over his hands he's batting it to the floor, scooting back onto your mattress to accomodate you; he wants to shut his eyes but you grind down against him through his pants as your lips mold against his and he’s probably never felt so alert in his life. Akutagawa gasps in a certain way, another sound he's never heard himself make; when your fingers tangle into the hair at the back of his head, he groans, grips your waist, and his eyes melt shut, finally.
You kiss him until he's putty, and he follows your lead; you grab his wrists and guide his hands to your chest, which has his eyes flying open all over again as he feels his fingerpads twitch over your nipples. You work him onto his back, easing him down with your tongue against his, so warm, so wet; your teeth, harsh in his bottom lip, where your thumb stroked so tenderly before, force his hips in a circle, and, oh, god, you have him losing it already, completely helpless, completely breathless.
You pull back, grinning, before grabbing for the buttons on his shirt.
"This okay?"
It's not okay, it's insane. His pants are too tight. He's never needed someone like this. And you look so angelic above him waiting for him to nod, give you a small yes, before you work him out of his shirt next, taking care to trace every ridge and valley of his ribs and abdomen as you do. He shivers when it's gone, discarded with his jacket and glasses; his arms come to cover himself but you trace those, too, the dips in his lean muscle and severities of his shoulders, collarbones, elbows, wrists. Just as he thinks he might feel too vulnerable, you start mapping him out with a softness he's never felt before; he wants to sink into it, keep it forever. If he wasn't so painfully hard, he might not even need to fuck you; just laying, relaxing into the sheets beneath him as you look at him like he's beautiful, is a heaven of its own.
"You're so pretty, Ryuu," you mutter. You hunch to bite the juncture of his throat and shoulder, then soothe it with a kiss. "So, so fucking pretty. You know that?"
Akutagawa shudders again. "I told you not to be gentle."
You bite him once more, grinding your bare cunt along his clothed cock, and a groan throttles from his chest. After doing the same to the opposite side of his neck, your lips meet his again, and he forgets about shielding himself in favor of letting his hands rock you back and forth against him.
You feel him twitch below you as you work him into nothing but impatient breath and swollen lips; your irritation from not reaching your climax earlier doubles back on you in a wave of arousal, and you’re guiding him out of his pants and boxers at the same time, and thank god that’s all that’s left and that you’re so turned on already because when the tip of his pale cock hits his abs, all you can think about is sinking down onto it, feeling it fill you up and pulse inside you.
But you wait, looking at him low-lidded and asking him, “You want me on top, or you?”
“For fuck’s sake,” he curses, twisting a leg into the bend of your knee at his side; you’re not weak by any means, but in one smooth movement he’s got you on your back, pinned down by your wrists. “If you’re going to be gentle, then I won’t.”
Wasting no time. You almost giggle but you’re gasping, his eagerness streamlining into a searing kiss to your mouth and one of his rough hands snaking down to collect the wetness pooling between your thighs.
He knows he should touch you. He knows that much. He wants to know—
“Where? Tell me where,” he growls into your mouth, and you guide him by his wrist and fingers once again to draw tight circles over your clit—ones that make you arch, and after feeling how you do it he burns it into his brain, the movement you’re guiding him through that sends your head lolling onto the pillow. Akutagawa’s eyes widen. He could watch your expression replay for hours.
“That’s it,” you encourage him, breathy, letting him go as he memorizes your rhythm. “Feels so good.”
You bring your two wet fingers up to his mouth, which he accepts without hesitance; his tongue swirls around them and you realize how serious he is—he doesn’t want it slow and you’re losing your resolve against him and you think you need him in you, right now.
He stills when you reach for his cock, dark hair swaying as his gaze trails your hand; he sits back, heaving, as he rubs you, as you stroke him and smear a pathetically large bead of precum across his tip and down his length. Trying desperately not to stop, to keep making you feel good, he throws his head back when you squeeze just beneath the head of his cock and pull him back toward you by his shoulder.
“Wan’ you to fuck me, Ryuu,” you whine, lining him up with your weeping hole. He’s pushing in with hardly a second thought, and, oh—he’s groaning in yet another way he’s never heard before, watching himself disappear into you, bracing himself on your forearms until he fills you up to hilt. So wet, so warm. He hardly realizes how ragged his breath is until he hears your own.
You squirm, and after he presses another series of messy kisses to your lips to stifle the noises of pleasure leaving him that would be so humiliating if he wasn’t so drunk on you, you hold him by his chin and look so deeply into his eyes that he’s afraid for a second you’re doing that thing where you look right through him into his very soul, but your mouth is forming around words that he must hear, he must hang onto, you have to tell him what to do, and you do—
“Don’t be gentle.”
So he isn’t. He moves, on nothing but your words and intuition and the way you clench around him; there’s virtually no resistance when he pulls out, slams back in, pulls out, slams back in—and he loses himself in it so quickly, so noisily.
“Unh—fuck—” Your name leaves his lips like a song that has you linking your ankles behind his back as he writhes, pounds into you—and you understand all over again, he wasn’t kidding. He doesn’t want it slow. And neither do you, you realize, now that he’s dragging his perfect cock along your insides so deliciously.
He realizes something too, as he falls to his elbows and buries his open mouth into your neck; that he never wants anyone else to hear the sounds either of you are making ever again. He doesn't care that you're more experienced than him, or that your relationship is irrevocably changed now that this is happening; you're going to be the first and last person that ever hears him moaning like this, that ever has him blushing from face to chest at the lewd sounds that your bodies emit where they meet and then part each time he pistons in and out of you. You’re clawing at him, raking tracks down his back and biceps that spur him to a pace he didn’t know he was capable of—he can’t wait to see them in the mirror tomorrow when the rawness has left and they’re angry red, a testament to how quickly he’s learning you, how quickly you’re both falling apart, how much he thinks he loves you.
Yeah, he thinks he loves you—it’s muffled by your skin, but he’s saying it, he can’t help it, he can’t keep it in his lungs if he’s going to keep this pace up.
“Love you, Ryuu,” you echo, and he echoes you right back like he didn’t start it.
“Love you.” Thrust. “Love you.” Thrust. “Love you—mmh!”
"My good boy," you croon when he reaches down to touch you, to feel you squeezing him down on him. Your good boy. You could turn him into a whore if you kept saying that.
"My name, please," he breathes, high-pitched, almost wheezing; you hold him as close to your body as you can, shortening his unstoppable thrusts against the spot inside you that makes your toes curl, pushes rhythmic moans from your throat, and his hands are all over you, begging for it in his rough grips that undulate into soft caresses back to harsh nails back to gentle strokes.
"Ryuunosuke—" you choke out, "Don't—" Gasp. "—fucking—" Gasp. "—stop!"
The most gorgeous strand of strained moans, gasps, and growls leave him as his head batters insatiably against your cervix; he’s falling off that tightrope, and you’re catching him, all his shaking fingers and trembling thighs that still momentarily before he can warn you, before he can tell you—
"Cum in me," you sigh as you feel him, feel yourself breaking, coming undone as he forces his sounds down your throat; you swallow them all, crying out against his lips as he bites you, furrows his brow, pulls back to bore into your clouded gaze—he's sure he looks the same if not worse, more unraveled, mouth open, lips wet, when you arch back and pull him flush against you and he's cumming, taking you for every last bit you'll give him until you're hypersensitive, fluttering around him, helping him make a sticky mess beneath the both of you as his head falls forward again, into your shoulder, restless, groaning with aftershock, until his lips meet yours and he kisses you, kisses you, kisses you, neither of you ready to come down yet.
But soon enough you're reduced to exhausted writhing, slow bites, fingers through his hair and he's spent—pleasantly so. Weak, not in the way he feels after he's been brought to his knees by a formidable foe but in a way he will not be content to part with; a comfortable resignation that he could make a home in.
Akutagawa wraps himself around you, and you kick the blanket at your feet up until you can pull it over his shoulders and tuck your nose into his forehead.
"Still kind of don't believe you've never done that before," you think out loud, voice a little absent from how you’ve been sobbing for him.
And Akutagawa finds himself smiling into your skin. He sounds just as much of a wreck. "Never. Not until now."
It was good. Not only was it good, but you can feel him softening inside you, and you want him to stay.
"Meant it, by the way."
Then he looks up at you, quizzically. That strange, dazed look is in his eyes again.
But you just look back at him. Push his bangs back, mirror his tired smile. Wipe the drying sheen of sweat from across his brow.
When it clicks, he's buried in your neck again. Grumbling. "I meant it, too."
You hug yourself impossibly tighter around him, muttering his name, rolling you both to your sides where you cup his face once more, pressing smooches all over him, less heated and more playful, and Akutagawa scrunches his nose as you pepper him and start mumbling in between—
"Love you. Love you. Love you."
He catches you in your tirade and kisses you like you first kissed him—slow, deep. His own love you whispered, almost imperceptible. He'll stay. "Thank you. Love you."
Like he never knew he was capable of loving. He’s not uncomfortable. For once. For real. You caught him when he was falling. He hopes you’ll keep doing it.
But right now, he only has one more question.
"Do you have any cigarettes?"
You reach across him, over to your nightstand. “Who do you think I am?”
My angel, he thinks in response as you nudge the filter between his lips to light it. You, in control, let him puff before you steal it for yourself.
And he’s yours. The Port Mafia’s ferocious Hellhound is your good boy, your angel.
You’ll love him until he believes it.
#csm reference#kinktober? you thought.#vanillatober.#couldn’t help it with him i need to love him til he loves himself#i should’ve picked someone else if i wanted it to be nasty that’s my b you guys#akutagawa smut#akutagawa x reader#bsd smut#bsd x reader#bungou stray dogs smut#bungou stray dogs x reader#nnnsfw.ᐟ#kinktober 2024#with love—reid#mdni
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one piece characters after a fight (it was their fault)
includes: fighting, shitty apologies (that get corrected), sanji groveling, gn reader, me being too lazy to proof read
characters: zoro, sanji, crocodile, buggy
zoro
won’t actually apologize at first. he knows when he fucks up, but he refuses to admit it because of his ego. you’ll walk into your room to find your favorite snack, a new clothing item, shoes, etc. on your bed as his “apology”. unfortunately, a gift is not an “i’m sorry” and you don’t care about shattering his ego temporarily.
you walked into your room and sat on the bed was a soft, high quality sweater with a cute design that was basically made for you. it so happened that you and zoro got into a pretty big fight last night. you were training together and zoro took your weight from you, took off a couple rings, and handed it back, “you’re way too weak for that much, taking more than you can handle is just gonna result in failure”. ohhhh he had done it. you immediately got offended and blew up at him, going at it for a solid half hour until you just gave up. you marched over to zoro, shoved the sweater into his hands, and demanded an apology. “say sorry, i won’t forgive you, much less accept the gift, until you say you’re sorry” you said, crossing your arms. “i didn’t do nothin’ wrong” he mumbled in response. you shook your head and walked away, deciding he had earned himself the silent treatment. “wait! wait, wait, okay hold on,” he said, and you paused. “okay, well, that was shitty of me and…” he huffed a little, “i’m sorry for calling you weak, i just wanted to look out for you, that was really rude of me. i’m sorry.” turning back around, you smiled, knowing you had finally won and beat the ego barrier. “apology accepted” you took the sweater back and gave him a kiss, and he looked so, so much less cocky now.
sanji
you and sanji don’t fight often, and when you do he is groveling at your feet BEGGING for forgiveness. he’ll cry and moan, offering gifts and services as a peace offering. it’s always a little fun to mess with when he really fucks up though. it also really does not take long for him to apologize, he hates making you upset.
while out shopping for groceries with sanji to restock, you decided to go to the fruit stand right outside the deli sanji stopped at. there were some new fruits you had never tried in the mix, and you were sampling some of them. dragonfruit, rose apples, rambutans, they were so good! while sampling a lychee and thinking of a dessert you could make with it, you overheard your boyfriend talking to someone. you turned around to see him hitting on someone entering the deli on his way out, heart eyes and all. “i’m sorry, could you hold my order for a few minutes?” you asked, glaring in sanji’s direction, “i need to take care of something, i’ll be back in an hour or less” you stomped over to sanji, the fruit stand owner having a ‘yeah he’s fucked’ look on their face. you grabbed your boyfriend by the shoulders and spun him around, “sanji, my dearest. what the actual fuck is wrong with you?! flirting with someone else, especially when i’m only 20 feet away from you? have you no shame? no class? the audacity is amazing me.” sanji managed to stutter out a few “uh, i uh, uhm”s but failed. you dragged him back to the ship, threw him in the kitchen, and went back to grab your fruit and everything else on your shopping list alone. sanji was not getting let off easy today. when you came back, sanji was sitting in a corner of the kitchen crying. seeing you, he immediately ran to you, kneeling at your feet. “i’m sorry! that was mean, and stupid, and cruel, and gross, and dumb, and pervy, i’m sorry! i don’t deserve to be your boyfriend, i’m a no good dirty cook! please forgive me” he begged. you could tell he was truly sorry, but this was a little funny, and you were still mad. “no, not forgiven. your actions speak louder than your words, sanji. why should i forgive you?” you asked. sanji just sobbed more, “i’m so sorry! i love you so much, nobody is better than you! you’re the most stunning, most beautiful, most sexy, more gorgeous, most cute person in the world! i’ll do and get you anything you want, anything!” nah, you liked this too much. “hmm… keep begging, this is fun.” you said. that went on for a longgg time before you forgave him… and gave zoro some bullying material.
crocodile
he’s aware of when he does something wrong and makes it a quick apology with a LAVISH gift. on the few times he really made you angry/upset, he took you on a vacation or made an insane purchase for you.
crocodile had been gone for months, eleven to be exact. normally you’d still have regular communication via transponder snail, but he hadn’t called you or picked up your calls in almost two months. you grew so sad and lonely, having only house staff to talk to. you hadn’t gone out at all either, just staying at home passing time by reading or doing art. it had been officially eleven months and sixteen days since he had been gone when you were having tea with one of the guards and discussing your latest read. you both had started reading books at the same time like a mini book club to keep you occupied. then, your husband barged into the room. “sweetheart, i’m so happy to see you. missed you, c’mere and give me a hug” he said. you just froze up and the tears came without warning. all you could do was break down in your seat, teacup dropping from your hand onto the saucer, spilling onto the table. the guard immediately began to clean up the spill while crocodile just stared at you, shocked and just confused. “hey, hey, i’m sorry. i thought i’d be home sooner, or have time to visit. baby, please, i-“ he stopped, placing a hand on your shoulder and rubbing circles as you sobbed. you were sad, angry, and happy all at the same time. you were upset, but grateful to see him. “i thought- i thought you died! you didn’t call or- or write to me and…” you continued to break down. crocodile picked you up, making sure to pause to know if you’d be upset or not if he did, and carried you to your shared bedroom. the whole time he gave apologies and comfort to you. after sitting you down and letting you cry into his chest for a bit, he had you stay seated and re dressed you into your favorite comfy clothes. he laid down beside you, and you laid on his chest sniffling while he pet your hair. after a bit of silence, he spoke again “i’m sorry, my sweet angel. i didn’t mean to scare you so bad, i got really busy, i should’ve made better time for you. i should’ve made you more of a priority like i normally do. do you forgive me?” he asked. you nodded your head as a yes, and he kissed it. the rest of the day you spent with him, cuddling and reading together. the next day, you woke up to one of the most thoughtful gifts he’s ever given. “i know you have the bananawani, but they’re not really great for cuddling or playing as adults. i thought you could use a companion for the times i can’t take you with, and for the times i can. here, they’re yours, name them” he said to you as you woke up to two sweet little kittens purring in your lap. “and i packed a bag for you and the kittens, we’re going on a vacation. i think we needed a second vacation home.”
buggy
he’s so weird with apologies. he’ll refuse to say sorry and pout like a child, but the second you take away boyfriend privileges he’s crying.
you and buggy fought semi often, but it was never bad. mostly you scolding him or saying i told you so. this was one of those rare moments where buggy actually made you angry instead of mildly irritated. buggy is a clown, a silly guy! a silly guy who likes pranks, and takes them too far sometimes. buggy thought it would be hilarious to use his chop chop fruit powers to trick you into thinking he actually got seriously injured in a fight. he came on deck limping, two crewman acting as crutches. one of his legs past the knee was missing, and it was dripping with blood. “holy shit! buggy! what happened?!” you screamed, rushing over to help. he acted like he was out of it and in pain, only mumbling replies that didn’t even make sense. you got him laid down, made a tourniquet out of his bandana, and began to wipe up the blood with a cloth you snagged. and slowly, you realized he was fucking with you. you dropped the rag and stood up, “okay, no, what the fuck is wrong with you?” you asked before storming away. “it was just a joke! it was funny!” he yelled. you avoided him for the rest of the day, and he knew he had really done it this time, but like hell he was admitting it. when it was time for bed, you were cozied up and watching a storm through your window. buggy entered the room, sitting down beside you and getting ready to cuddle up next to you, until you stopped him. “absolutely not, get out. you can figure out somewhere else to sleep tonight.” you said. buggy gave you a ‘huh?’ look. “haha, you’re funny. do you want me to put on some music? i got a new-“ you cut him off, “i’m serious, buggy. out, now.” his cheery expression dropped into an agitated one. “it was just a prank, calm down! it’s not my fault that you can’t take a joke!” he exclaimed. “i said out” you said, pointing to the door. he stopped, looking defeated. he began to walk over to the door, until he turned around all teary eyed and sad. “i’m sorry! please forgive me, really, i’m really sorry! i’ll never do it again, i swear!” he begged. after a little more, you gave in and fell asleep listening to the storm in his arms. and his snoring.
#one piece x reader#one piece x you#one piece#one piece headcanons#zoro x reader#zoro x you#sanji x reader#sanji x you#crocodile x reader#crocodile x you#buggy x reader#buggy x you#roronoa zoro#vinsmoke sanji#zoro#sanji#sir crocodile#crocodile#buggy the clown#buggy
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✧ exile (what a ghostly scene)
. *. ⋆ Anakin / Vader x Reader
summary: you were bail organa’s ward, raised on alderaan with your younger sister. in the twilight of the clone war, you and anakin fell in love. when the war died, it dragged you and anakin to early graves with it — leaving only darth vader behind. even after years without you, he still wants you back. and there is nothing he would not do to bring you back to him. . .
tags: angst, tragic romance, suitless vader, no y/n, gn reader, inspired by the 2020 vader comics & vader immortal, past major character death, mourning, vader needs a hug, resurrection
note: my first reader/second person fic — i’m sorry if the tense is bad ajsjwjwjqjq. i’ve had this in my drafts for soooo long and i finally decided to finish it 🫶
word count: 1k
part 1 of 4
The stars have died, fizzling out into oblivion. All that remains is a charcoal heart that once belonged to Anakin Skywalker.
The boy from Tatooine is unreachable now, trapped inside the twisted soul of Darth Vader. The galaxy’s beloved Hero With No Fear is gone. With the rise of the Empire, the Jedi and their sympathisers will be erased from memory. A clean slate to start a new era.
Three years after the creation of the Empire, Darth Vader stands alone. His tower on Mustafar is isolating; its strategic position is a constant reminder of that day. His injuries still hurt sometimes: phantom itches on his now metal legs; scars from his burns that did not fully heal. The medical droids say he is lucky — the fire could have done more serious damage, and he could have been forced to rely on a suit keeping him alive for the rest of his days. Instead, the ebony coloured mask and suit he wears are to conceal his identity. A precaution so that Anakin Skywalker can fade from people’s tongues and memory, leaving the tyranny of Darth Vader in its place.
The weight of his failures is not the heaviest burden. Darth Vader drowns in his anger and grief. He was not strong enough to kill Obi-Wan Kenobi. He was not strong enough to save you.
(All things die. Even stars burn out.)
You were the stars in his sky, his light in the dark, the silvery moon to his blazing sun. So tender and kind. Perhaps your heart was too good for this world. Perhaps, it was your weakness all along. (How could peace ever love a dragon?)
Since you met, you had been Anakin’s sun. You anchored him; guided him home. You were his destiny. And, without you, the galaxy had turned cold. The fiery world outside, all hot air and lava fields, only stood as a reminder of his failure. He’d lost you. After everything Anakin had tried — surrendering himself to the dark side, betraying the light — he could not save you. Time had not quelled the pain.
Vader wonders if you would still recognise him. His copper hair has grown longer (he remembers how you used to cut it for him after he returned from another mission, and you’d giggle as you braided thin locks together), but his face hides behind an obsidian mask. You always loved the blue of Anakin’s eyes, but now they are blazing amber.
Mornings are the only time Vader allows himself to dwell on the past. It is when he finds himself alone and does not have to hide.
Vader recalls how you arrived on Mustafar like it was yesterday. (You haunt him every waking moment.) He could sense your conflicted emotions as soon as you disembarked your ship. Vader wasted no time approaching you, drawing you into his arms (where you belonged; where you were safe). His lips reconnected with yours, fitting together like puzzle pieces as he kissed you hungrily, his hands settled on your hips to keep you close.
You and Anakin had met after turning nineteen. He and Obi-Wan were called to Alderaan to protect the Queen and Viceroy from an assassination attempt. Being their ward, you had been there the whole time and quickly formed a connection with the young padawan — your relationship had blossomed during the Clone Wars.
He rested his forehead against yours as you spoke. “I heard terrible things. Tell me none of it is true.”
Vader hadn’t replied immediately and instead drew his head back to look at you. He would tell you any sweet lie if he needed to as he fought to quell the anger flaring in his eyes. “What have you been told?”
“Obi-Wan told me—”
Vader’s grasp around you tightened protectively. “Obi-Wan is alive?”
“He said you’d killed Jedi. Killed younglings.”
“You must not believe him, my love. He’s a traitor.”
It wasn’t the answer you sought, and you took a step backwards out of your husband’s grasp. “What have you done?”
“I did this for you. To save you.” He cupped your chin in his flesh hand and whispered your name. “I love you.”
Your eyes trained into his. There was no denial, no remorse in his stature; his only regret was letting Obi-Wan tell you anything.
He repeated his words. “I did this for you.”
From the shadows of your cloak, you drew a blaster. Only a small, weak thing. Vader watched your hands tremble. He did admire your courage. “Fix this,” you demanded. “Please,” you begged.
Anger flickered in Vader’s eyes. He had never seen you unimpressed with him. With an easy glide of his hand, Vader used the Force to knock the blaster out of your grip and pin your arms by your sides
“I am stronger than the Chancellor now,” he explained desperately, drawing you to his side. “I can overthrow him. Then you and I can be together; we can run away — just like you always wanted to.”
(But you didn’t. He lost you. Some might call you a traitor — Vader maintains that you were misguided.)
Three years later, regret still festers inside Vader’s hollow soul. There must have been a way to save you.
He misses you endlessly: craving your touch and the sound of your voice. (There is nothing Vader desires more than to have you back in his arms.)
Part of him wants to forget. To cast his memories of you into an abyss; to put the past behind him. But it is an impossible task. You are too well tangled into his soul. You haunt him. (And you’ll haunt him until his death.)
Today, there is no time to focus on you. A new morning brings meetings and training. You were Anakin’s Achilles Heel — but Darth Vader shows no such weakness. As Vader sits on his throne, reading over mission logs and other updates from the spread of the Empire across the galaxy, he receives a message: he must make his return to Coruscant immediately. (Your memory pulls him under the ocean again until he can no longer breathe.)
#anakin skywalker#anakin skywalker x reader#anakin x reader#star wars#star wars fanfiction#anakin skywalker fanfiction#anakin angst#anakin skywalker angst#anakin skywalker x you#darth vader#darth vader x reader#darth vader angst#darth vader fanfiction
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Yo sup! I love your blog soooooo much!!! Your writing style is great in my opinion ^^. I'd like a yandere! Rui (platonic) with sister reader. She actually puts effort into making "family bonds" and while she is nice to the other "family" members, she never questions Rui's methods and actions and genuinely loves him despite the behaviours he displays. He is really overprotective over her and he likes her attention. I'd love a scenario like that
Hmmm! Okaaay! I have never written for Rui yet so let’s try it out, I’m optimistic! Been getting a lot of Platonic Yanderes lately tbh!
Yandere! Platonic! KNY Lower Moon Scenarios: Ayaki Rui
Rui, on the inside, is a lonely miserable child that is so desperate to feel nearest and dearest love for once in his new life that he does truly cruel and twisted means to get what carves so badly
Rui finds weak, pathetic demons and transfers his strength to them so they become infused by blood, cementing them as his family for good. He has done this too many to count… but most go against him and end up fried
Rui figured you’d be the same. Another sister who dares to try run away from him and will become his next toasted spider but no. You’re nothing like the ones who came before you and he is very shocked at first
Rui, needing to know if this behaviour is genuine, begins to keep a close eye on you and is very pleased everytime with the answers. You’re sweet and considerate to the other family members he brings home, you never argue with his methods nor measures and you even ask him how he is
Rui suspected you’d be angry at him for his drastic punishments to your siblings and parents, but no. You never once go against him, you just smile and proclaim you understand if he must hurt you. But in that moment, he won’t lay a single thread on you, he gently pats your head and orders you return to your room
Rui becomes favouritistic towards you, to the point it becomes obvious to everybody in the house. You’re a real sister and he needs to keep you as his, at all causes. No demon slayer can take you away from him and no demon can try trick you into abandoning him, he grows a intense sense of overprotectiveness over you, his one true sibling
Rui never really gets the love he wants with this makeshift family he has forcibly created. You’re the rare diamond of the pebble pile, you give him love and affection with no fear nor opposing intent. He is very tense and tries to push back but once he realises you’re just kissing away the blood on his cheek, he lets you. His obsession over you growing in the process
His obsession over keeping you as his sister at all means. Must he kill all those other failures? None of them please him at all and none has true worth to him, Rui is tempted to just kill them all and keep you. Sure, two siblings aren’t necessarily a family but the risk of losing you, who actually loves him, over a family who doesn’t love him. He is going to pick you everytime
Rui eventually moves you out of the attic you were in with your surrogate siblings. You don’t deserve to be around those pieces of filth and he ends up giving you the room, right next to his. So he can come to you very easily and demand your affection without needing anybody else around
He wants you nearby 24/7, his one and only beloved. He wants you close so he knows you’re still here and you haven’t been twisted by anything else that can twist your views
Rui is very desperate for attention so he wants it from you all the time. He’ll just sit down before you as you read/other and wait for you to acknowledge him. He doesn’t get hissy nor attack like he usually would if you take a little while, since he knows you’ll apologise and give him hugs or kisses as extra sorries
Rui will never let you out of the house nor out of the forest. You can go outside when he is with you, just to make sure no slayer can hurt you nor a demon can intervene. It’s all from his anxiety that makes him step in and take those extra precautions to keep you with him
At all causes, he doesn’t care how big the bill is he must pay to have you
Rui holds your hand as often as he possibly can, loving the feel of your warmth. He summons you to stand besides him as he deals out punishment, he sends you to the safety of the household when he finds threats he must dispose off. He is loving, he is favouritistic, he is possessive, he is overprotective; he is all of the above and so much more
“My dear sister. Come here, I am exhausted from taking care of such useless humans, may I get some affection to ease all my tense nerves? I don’t suspect you’d refuse, here now. You know I don’t bite you”
#kimetsu no yaiba#demon slayer#kny imagines#anime and manga#headcanons#kny lower moons#kny rui#kimetsu rui#demon slayer rui#kny#yandere imagines#yandere#yandere love#yandere headcanons#yandere rui#yandere ayaki rui#rui ayaki#ayaki rui#rui x reader#platonic yandere#lower moon 6#lower moons#Rui is weirdly sweet#I can’t even be mad about it#Rui is big/little brother#it kinda cute
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hi! I see you have a bunch of requests so I’m sorry to request but do you think you could write an Elijah angst with fluff ? Like y/n is upset because she thinks that elijah likes Hayley but he’s actually in love with her and has been for centuries but has always been too scared to tell her.
Always
18+ ---- {Masterlist}
Upon your unexpected appearance at the compound, centuries after being presumed dead, Elijah has to grapple with feelings he long buried and the consequences that come with it.
~♡♡ Thanks for the request anon(s) & @vervain3 ♡♡ - I combined all three ideas and made a jealousy triangle {square? circle? idk}~
3k words - Warnings: a little smutty right at the end, drama, angst, jealousy... vaguely refer to events from season 2 & 3... Klaus interfering & loving all the drama (Regina George energy)
It was a rare thing for Elijah Mikaelson to fall in love, but when he did, it was forever. In his one thousand years of living he could count on one hand the number of times his heart had truly belonged to someone else and he could recall, with exact detail, everything about them.
There was Tatia, the first woman he ever fell for, and then there was Katerina, or Katherine, who was a thorn in his side and a constant source of regret.Then Celeste came into the picture, a beautiful and powerful witch, her loss and betrayal still a bitter taste in his mouth.
And then there was you, the brightest light in his dark life. Your face still burned brightly in his memories and your name still danced on his tongue like the sweetest melody. You did things to him that no one else could, dissolving his burdens with just a smile.
You had captured his heart with just one look and he had been yours, mind, body, and soul. He was so in love with you, it hurt.
So when you died, he was shattered, torn apart and left to deal with the pain alone. He would see your face everywhere, haunting him and reminding him of his failure to protect the one he loved. To never be able to tell you how he felt was the most painful thing of all.
Centuries had passed since he lost you, his grief now a dull ache in his heart, but nothing had ever truly made the pain go away.
Hayley's presence in his life mended the broken pieces somewhat, but they were still damaged. His feelings for the hybrid would never be enough to erase the ghost of his love for you.
He accepted being content with what he had, knowing he didn't deserve anything more. That he was lucky to have met his soul mate, even if you were never truly his. To know that true love was real, if not fleeting.
So when he saw you, sitting on the sofa in the courtyard, laughing and chatting with Klaus, his heart stopped. He wondered if he was imagining you again, if his mind was playing a cruel trick on him.
But you turned, your gaze meeting his and the world stopped. He felt his knees grow weak, and his heart race.
You were real, you were here, you were alive.
And you looked just as beautiful as the day he last saw you.
But there was a bit of a problem, he was with Hayley now. You were back and he didn't know how to feel about that.
"Elijah, how long has it been? You look well." You greet him with a smile, pulling him in for a hug.
Elijah hesitated before wrapping his arms around you, inhaling the scent that he had thought he'd never experience again. He couldn't help but hold you a little tighter, afraid that if he let you go, you'd disappear.
"Y/N," he whispers softly.
You pull back, noticing the way his eyes seem to burn brighter, full of emotions you couldn't read.
"How are you? I haven't seen you since..." you trail off.
"Since you died," he finishes, his eyes looking at you curiously.
"Since you left me behind," you corrected him.
Elijah frowned, not understanding what you were talking about. The night Mikael returned, you were killed and your body burnt, at least, that's what Klaus had told him.
"Klaus said you were killed, we didn't have time to retrieve your body."
You shake your head. "That wasn't me, he was mistaken."
"So where were you?" he asked, still unable to believe you were really here.
"Here and there," you said with a smile, none of that mattered now.
You always had a soft spot for Elijah, when you first met him and his family, you found him to be so stoic and melancholic. You delighted in making him laugh, his smile lighting up his whole face and giving him the air of youth and carefreeness that you knew he had buried deep within him.
Nothing ever happened between you, he tended to fall for more serious types. But you never stopped loving him, he was always going to be the one you couldn't forget.
"You're as bad as Niklaus," Elijah said, chuckling lightly.
"I'll take that as a compliment," you grinned.
You were interrupted by a beautiful brunette with stunning hazel eyes, she walked up and placed her hand on Elijah's shoulder, giving him a kiss on the cheek.
"Y/N, this is Hayley," Elijah introduced, his hand going to rest on her back.
Of course, you thought. She was exactly his type, beautiful and fierce.
You gave her a small smile, shaking her hand.
"How do you know Elijah?" she asked, curious.
"We met a very long time ago, in another place," you answered, giving Elijah a sidelong glance. "In another life."
Hayley looked between the two of you, sensing there was more to your relationship than you were letting on. She wasn't going to let you anywhere near what was hers.
"What brings you here? To New Orleans, I mean?"
"I heard the original family has settled here and I wanted to catch up with old friends," you replied. "But mostly, I'm just passing through,"
Hayley frowned, "old friends," she repeated, her hand tightening around Elijah's shoulder.
She had only just met you, but already, she knew she didn't like you. You seemed to have a permanent smirk on your face that reminded her of Klaus, and that made her distrust you instantly. And the way Elijah was looking at you made her feel uneasy, she had never seen him look so...happy.
"Oh," Elijah's expression faltered, his disappointment barely noticeable. "You're leaving?"
"Well, I don't want to overstay my welcome," you joked, your eyes flickering to Hayley's.
"How about you join us tonight for dinner," Klaus said, walking up and joining the group, he always knew exactly how to make an awkward situation worse. "There's someone I'd like you to meet."
You gave him a small smile. "Sure,"
When you arrived for dinner, you were surprised by the amount of people Klaus had invited. It was a bit of a relief, it would mean that you didn't have to be alone with Elijah and Hayley.
Klaus stood at the head of the table, making introductions, there were a number of vampires and werewolves present, including a werewolf alpha named Jackson and a handsome vampire named Marcel.
You greeted them all politely, before taking a seat next to Marcel.
"Y/N, this is my dear friend Marcellus," Klaus greeted, "you two have a remarkable amount in common."
Marcel smiles, "hello, beautiful."
"Hi," you smiled back, your eyes lingering on his, he had a killer smile and a charm to him that was difficult to resist.
You were glad to have someone to talk to, you could tell Marcel had a great sense of humor and you enjoyed his company. You also found yourself attracted to him, he was definitely your type.
"So, how do you know the Mikaelsons?" Marcel asked, a little confused. "I didn't think they had any friends outside their family,"
"Klaus turned me centuries ago, when they were hiding out in my town." You explain, taking a sip of your wine. "They needed allies, so he made some of us into vampires."
"Ahh, been there, done that." Marcel replied with a smile, leaning in closer, his hand brushing against yours.
Elijah watched from the other end of the table, his eyes flickering between the pair, his stomach knotting with every touch and look exchanged between you.
You didn't miss his glances, or his frowns, and you wondered what his problem was. He had his gorgeous girlfriend by his side, why was he looking at you this way?
Klaus delighted in the growing jealousy he could see bubbling up inside Elijah. He knew his brother had always loved you, but never made a move. And now, he was paying for it.
Klaus watched as you flirted with Marcel, enjoying the sight of Elijah growing increasingly frustrated.
"They seem cozy, how cute," he mused, his eyes gleaming.
"Yes, it appears that way," Elijah replied, his jaw clenching.
Hayley smiled at you and Marcel, "they’d make a good couple,"
"Would they?" Elijah asked, a hint of irritation in his tone.
Hayley didn't notice, she was too busy watching the way your eyes lingered on each other's and the way Marcel leaned in close and whispered in your ear, making you laugh.
Elijah didn't miss the spark in your eyes as you spoke with Marcel, the way your face lit up and the way his fingers traced patterns on your skin.
He wanted to rip his heart out.
He felt himself growing angrier by the minute, his hands clenched and his jaw tight. He could barely keep up with the conversation, his attention focused on you, his jealousy eating away at him.
There you were, so close, your laughter filling the air, the sound he had been longing to hear for so long. And he was stuck sitting across from you, watching you get closer to another man.
"Jackson, tell me about this ritual you mentioned earlier," Klaus said, interrupting Elijah's thoughts.
"Well," Jackson began, looking between Hayley and Elijah awkwardly. "It could possibly give the pack hybrid-like abilities,"
Hayley smiled, "that's exactly what we need Klaus, an army to protect our child."
"What would this ritual involve?" Elijah asked, trying to distract himself from the sound of your laughter.
"A marriage," Jackson answered. "Between myself and Hayley,"
"A marriage?" Hayley asked, confused. "I thought this was just a ritual?"
Jackson shook his head, "in order for it to work, we need to marry,"
Hayley frowned, looking between Jackson and Elijah. She wasn't sure how she felt about the idea of marrying anyone but Elijah, but she had no choice, she would do anything for her daughter.
"It would give us the power and numbers we need," Klaus agreed. "We could protect Hope from anyone who wished her harm."
Elijah felt strangely relieved, despite knowing how selfish it was. He thought he loved Hayley, that her marrying another would bother him, but he was more bothered by the way Marcel was touching you, he realized that his feelings for Hayley weren't enough.
He still loved you, and he always would.
"I guess that's it then," Hayley sighed, glancing over at Elijah, wondering what was going through his mind.
"We can discuss it further tomorrow, but I'm sure it's something that would benefit us all," Elijah said, his voice steady.
Hayley nodded, her heart breaking at his indifference. She didn't understand, she had hoped he would argue against it, at least a little bit, but it appeared she was mistaken.
She glanced over at you, seeing the way you kept looking at Elijah. She realized that your presence had shifted something in her relationship, and she couldn't help but feel a twinge of anger towards you.
After dinner, everyone had a drink or two and mingled. Elijah and Hayley found a private corner to chat about her wedding, their conversation awkward and strained, filled with hidden meanings.
"Are you alright?" Elijah asked, noticing the pain in her eyes.
"Yeah, fine." Hayley nodded, taking a sip of her drink. "I just thought you would... I dunno... Protest the wedding more."
Elijah hesitated, "we need to do whatever we can to bring home Hope." He spoke carefully, "you know that I... care for you."
Hayley looked away, trying to hide the hurt on her face. He 'cared for' her, but it wasn't enough.
"You care for me," she repeated, her voice lacking the inflection of surprise. "But you don't love me, do you?"
She looked up at him, their eyes locking. He looked at her sadly, the regret in his eyes telling her all she needed to know.
"You'll always have a place in my heart, Hayley," he said. "It's just-"
"She's back," she finished, nodding sadly. "You've always loved her."
Elijah didn't respond, instead he simply stared at her, their eyes full of unspoken words, unshed tears and the promise of a life together that would never be.
Hayley took a breath, blinking back her tears.
"I should probably go and join the others," she said, turning to walk away. "I'll… see you around,”
Elijah released a breath, running his hand through his hair. He stood there, debating whether he should go over and talk to you.
Hayley could tell from the way you'd been looking at him that your feelings for him were the same. She was hurt, and a little drunk, and a more than a bit angry.
Her eyes narrowed as she saw Marcel whisper something in your ear, his hand resting on your shoulder. You seemed to have every man here wrapped around your finger instantly, even Elijah.
Hayley walked up to you, her eyes flashing. "It's incredible how you just return out of the blue and have every man here panting at your heels."
You raised an eyebrow, not expecting the hostility.
"I'm sorry, have I offended you in some way?" You asked, giving her a confused look.
"No, you're just a slut who can't seem to keep her hands off the men around here." Hayley snapped.
You looked at her in surprise, a small smirk tugging at the corners of your lips.
"Well, if it makes you feel any better, Marcel and I were only flirting," you replied.
Hayley glared at you, her fists clenching. You could see the rage burning in her eyes, and you were tempted to push her further, just to see how far you could take it. But before you could, Jackson was by her side, a worried look on his face.
"Come on Hayley, let's get some air," he said, pulling her away from you.
Marcel watched as they left, his arm draped around your shoulders.
"What was that about?" He asked, glancing down at you.
"Your guess is as good as mine," you shrugged, your gaze drifting over to Elijah.
He was looking at you as well, his eyes wide and searching, as if he couldn't believe you were really there.
"I'm sorry Marcel, I think I'm going to turn in early," you said, smiling apologetically. "It's been a long day."
Marcel nodded, pressing a kiss to your cheek.
"Call me sometime, if you're interested," he said with a grin, winking playfully.
"Sure, thanks." You nodded, returning his smile.
You made your way over to Klaus, thanking him for the dinner, and bidding him a goodnight. You then approached Elijah, a small smile on your face, your heart pounding.
"It's wonderful to see you, after all these years," he said, his voice a little hoarse.
"You too, Elijah." You said, giving him a genuine smile.
"I want to show you something, before you go." He said, extending his hand out to you.
You hesitated, glancing down at his hand, a part of you afraid to get your hopes up, to believe that he saw you as more than a friend. But when your eyes met his, you could see something in his gaze, and it gave you the confidence you needed to take his hand.
"Lead the way,"
Elijah gave you a small smile, leading you to his study. He walked over to his desk, searching around until he pulled out a wooden box.
He placed it on the desk, opening the lid. Inside was a pendant necklace, a gold chain with a small emerald medallion hanging from it, with your initials engraved.
You hadn't seen it in centuries, not since the night you parted, and the sight of it brought a flood of emotions crashing down.
"You kept it," you whispered, your eyes stinging with tears.
"Of course," Elijah replied, his voice quiet, a smile playing on his lips. "It was yours, it belongs with you."
Your fingers gently grazed the pendant, the cool metal a reminder of your human life. It was given to you by your mother, the only thing you had left of her. You had treasured it, and when it broke, Elijah had offered to get it fixed for you.
But when Mikael arrived and you were separated, you thought it was forever lost.
"You got it fixed," you whispered, a tear rolling down your cheek.
"Yes, it was important to you." Elijah replied, his voice soft, a smile on his face.
"After all these years, after everything, why did you keep it?" You asked, confused.
"It was all I had left of you," he replied, his voice barely audible.
You swallowed, unable to speak, your throat tight and your chest aching. You'd never imagined he'd held onto such a keepsake, a reminder of you he held onto for centuries after he believed you to be dead.
Elijah gently picked up the necklace, placing it around your neck, his hands lingering.
"I'm happy to return this to you," he whispered. "It's where it belongs."
Your hand went up to the pendant, tears streaming down your cheeks. You turned to face him and his hand cupped your cheek, wiping away the tears. You leaned into his touch, his skin warm against yours.
He stared into your eyes, his expression filled with emotion, his heart beating erratically.
"I want you to know that I..." his voice trailed off as he struggled to find the right words. "That I have never forgotten you."
"I never forgot you either," you whispered, your gaze dropping to his lips, your own parting.
He leaned in slowly, closing the gap between you. His lips were soft, gentle, as they pressed against yours, you both sighed, melting into each other. His arms wrapped around you, pulling you close.
He moved you back until you hit the desk, his lips moving down your neck, nipping and kissing, causing you to moan. Your hands grasped at his clothes, tugging him closer, desperate for him.
Elijah lifted you onto the desk, pushing his body between your legs, his hardness pressed against you. His mouth was on yours again, his hands roaming your body, exploring every inch.
"Wait, wait," you panted, breaking the kiss. "You are with Hayley,"
Elijah paused, his eyes locked with yours, his chest heaving. "Not anymore."
You stared at him, confusion and desire muddling your thoughts.
"What?" You managed, still struggling to catch your breath.
"We broke up, tonight," he explained, his voice husky, his hands caressing your thighs.
You shook your head, trying to clear your mind, but his closeness and his hands on your body were making it impossible to think. He kissed you again, his lips hungry, his tongue delving into your mouth, tasting you.
You moaned, arching into him, your hands roaming his body, pulling him closer. His hands tugged at your dress, hiking it up your thighs, moving your panties to the side.
"I want you," he muttered, his eyes dark, filled with lust.
You whispered his name as his fingers slipped inside you, his thumb rubbing your clit. His mouth was on your neck, his teeth grazing your skin, nibbling softly. You gasped, your hands grasping at his belt, trying desperately to undo it.
He pushed his pants and underwear down, his cock springing free. He positioned himself between your legs, easing into you slowly. Your eyes locked, both of you filled with an intense, desperate need for the other.
Elijah groaned, gripping the desk, his knuckles turning white, as he began thrusting into you, slow and deep. You clung to him, your nails digging into his shoulders, your moans filling the room.
His movements became faster, more frantic, his cock hitting that spot deep inside you. You felt yourself getting closer, your muscles tightening, your breathing becoming shallow.
His lips crashed against yours, his hands gripping your thighs, holding them open. The desperate way he was fucking you was a testament to the feelings he held for you, and it only fueled your desire for him.
You moaned into his mouth as you came, your orgasm hitting you hard, making your body tremble, your muscles spasming.
Elijah buried his face in your neck, sinking his fangs into you as he let go, his body shuddering. You held him, stroking his hair, feeling his body relax.
"I've always loved you," he whispered.
"I love you, too." You replied, kissing his temple.
He kissed you again, his hands cradling your face. He smiled at you, his eyes filled with warmth, and a deep love that was reserved only for you.
It felt like coming home.
♡♡ Hayley is jealous of you -> you are jealous of Hayley -> Elijah is jealous of Marcel... & Marcel is too cool to care. ♡♡ ~What kind of jealously geometry is this??? I'm a writer not a mathematician lol~
#elijah mikaelson#elijah mikaelson smut#the originals#the vampire diaries#tvdu#vampire diaries#elijah mikaelson imagine#elijah mikealson imagine#elijah mikealson#elijah mikaelson x reader#elijah mikealson x reader#tvd#the vampire diaries x you#the vampire diaries x reader#the vampire diares imagine#the vampire diaries imagine#the originals imagine
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Hiiii.Welcome home and back!.How was your day?.I hope it was good.I miss you.Can I make a request about Han Yoojin x femreader?!.(This guy needs attention like Kim Dokja and Cale Henituse!!).The reader is very loyal and loves Han Yoojin.The reader and him were lovers in the first life before the reader died from the high rank dungeon.So they met again after he 'collected' the S rank hunters.Angst to Fluffy.Hehehe.I need something to cry then happy.
Thank you for listening. Take care of yourself.
The S-Classes that I Raised Heartstrings [1]
Part 2!
Summary: In which you don't remember Han Yoojin in this life, but he remembers everything.
Or, as Yoojin watches you from afar, he vows to make you fall in love with him all over again.
Pairing: Han Yoojin x F! Reader
Note: I'm doing good! Hope you're having a wonderful day too!
It is my job as a manhwa reader to complete the holy trinity. Also, is it just me or like it's a desert for this fandom for x reader stories??
Warnings: Angst and fluff served on a silver platter just for you anon! ★・・・・・・★
“Y/N!”
Han Yoojin pulled you in a hug, relief washing over him for a brief moment until he was pushed away harshly.
“Who are you?!”
“Woof! Woof!” Your dog, a Maltese, growls at him fiercely, trying to protect his owner.
Seeing your shocked and cold expression, one that screamed “touch me and I will call the police”, Han Yoojin struggled to come up with words.
You don’t remember.
“Stop Bong!” You called out, trying your best to calm your dog by slowly stepping back away. Once Bong was a little more tame, you looked at Han Yoojin with a suspicious look.
“I don’t know you.”
With a bitter smile, Yoojin swallows, before bowing and apologizing.
“Sorry, wrong person. The person I am looking for has the same name and looks similar to you.” Your hostile expression fades away to one of understanding and even empathy.
“Oh, that’s okay. My name is pretty common in Korea.” You smile awkwardly before dusting off your shirt.
“You seem very desperate to find this person, so I hope you find her soon.”
With a weak smile, Yoojin nods and waves goodbye. Watching you leave and hop onto a bus. His eyes follow you until you completely leave his sight.
“Hyung! There you are. What are you doing?”
“Just…meeting a friend.”
That’s right. You don’t remember.
Han Yoojin met you in his lowest times.
When his younger brother rose to the top of fame as a S-rank, he was left behind.
He was ridiculed by the world and abandoned by the brother whom he tried so hard to raise.
In the midst of trying so hard to understand and gain recognition, he met you, who was an D-class hunter that specialized in healing.
You, who reached out to heal his wounds and scars, and the first to see him without the branding of a failed older brother of a S-class hunter.
You, who helped him stand on his two feet again after each failure of a dungeon.
You, who stayed with him through his depression, and frustration.
You, who showered him with reassurance, kindness, patience and love, whereas he was too naive, envious, and took advantage of you for emotional support.
You, who taught him his worth-
And him, who couldn’t protect you.
“I’m sorry, (L/N) (Y/N) has died in the B-Rank dungeon.”
Your death has killed him too.
He remembered going back after your funeral to your shared apartment. He didn’t know how he made it back, he felt like he was simply drifting along without any meaning in life.
“Woof!” Startled, Han Yoojin looked down to see the white Maltese looking up at him with cute puppy eyes.
“Woof!” Bong patted his shoe, before running around, patting the door, as if telling Yoojin something.
Then, Bong sniffed your shoes.
Han Yoojin remembered breaking down then, crying, begging, and praying to God like a pathetic idiot he was.
In his next life, he will protect you.
He hugged Bong close, who seemed irritated and confused.
Bong didn’t understand.
For everyday he waited by the door, waiting for you.
Everyday that passed without you, Han Yoojin was dying.
He slowly went back to his old self, and society began to overwhelm him.
Until the day he too caused his younger brother to die, and he got the opportunity to fix everything from the beginning.
Han Yoojin wanted to see you so badly.
From the moment he woke up in the past, you and Yoohyun were the first he wanted to see.
But, he remembered how he was so weak and useless, and did not want to repeat that life again.
So he built up strength, collecting S-classes as he goes and making sure that he will never be a burden to Yoohyun or anyone he loves.
So that when he met you again, you didn’t have to take on the burden to take care of him.
This time, Han Yoojin swore that he will protect you.
Even if you don’t remember who he is, and even if no one else acknowledges you, he will.
Just like you have done with him.
“Bong!”
“Hyung!”
“Wait Yoohyun!” Yoojin stops his younger brother from making a mess, and watches a familiar Maltese stop in front of him with puppy eyes. He sniffs his shoes and then circles him excitedly.
“Woof!”
Does Bong remember?
“Bong, you can’t just run away like that!” You catch up finally, panting a little bit before meeting Yoojin’s eyes.
For a moment, time seems to stop as if giving Yoojin time to make a decision.
But luckily, he didn’t need to once he saw your potential showing above your head.
“Ah, you’re the man from before! So sorry about that. It seems like Bong remembered you.” You were embarrassed as you picked up Bong in your arms.
“It’s okay, I like dogs.”
“Yea, I don’t know why Bong is acting like this. Usually, he isn’t that friendly with strangers…”
“What’s your name?” Yoojin asked, and you sheepishly answered.
“(L/N) (Y/N), and you are?”
“Han Yoojin, and this is my brother Han Yoohyun.” You gasp, a look of realization flashed on your face, before bowing profusely.
“I’m so sorry, I promised we won’t bother you again-”
“It’s okay, actually, are you a hunter by chance?” You stood confused, but nodded.
“I am…but I am only a D-class healer-”
“That’s perfect, we were looking for one, and you look like you have potential. Right Yoohyun?” Yoojin quickly elbowed his younger brother, hoping that he would get the cue, and Yoohyun smartly responded with a nod.
“Are you sure? I don’t think my skills are that valuable.” Surprised and embarrassed, you fidgetted a bit and stroked Bong’s head.
“Don’t worry, I see potential when I see one.” With a hand extended for a hand shake, he smiled gently, just like how you reached out to him.
“I believe you can be better than you are now.”
This time, his skills can help you become someone more than a D-class hunter, but a S-class Saintess.
Because that’s who you are.
It was hard to get you to trust him.
It was even harder, managing the suspicious looks from Yoohyun and his S-class children, and ensuring you are safe from his potential enemies.
But it was all worth it, when you learn, grow and gain confidence in your skills.
With how close the two of you have gotten, both of you celebrated in a restaurant with beer after seeing a breakthrough in your healing skills.
“(Y/N), I love you.”
Yoojin said out of nowhere, and while he said it to activate his skill, it was also with a genuine heart.
“(Y/N), I love you.” He felt emotional, finally saying the words he buried deep in his heart that he wasn’t able to say easily back then.
You, who was tipsy and giddy, could only grin stupidly and joke at his comment.
“Haha! I love you too, Han Yoojin.”
Even though you probably will not remember tonight, or your time together with Yoojin in your past life, Yoojin is happy with this.
“Aww, boss, why are you crying?”
“Shut up and drink.”
“Yes sir!”
Seeing you laugh as you down each drink, he matches your energy with gratitude.
This time, he will be patient, he will be your emotional support and shield.
This time, he won’t be foolish, he won’t be a burden.
This time, he will treat you better, and cherish you with everything he’s got.
So if, by the off chance that you will remember the past, the two of you can still live a happy life together.
“Yoojin~ Did you find that person *hic* by the way? My twin?”
It became a running joke, one that embarrassed Yoojin, but also made him feel happy.
“I did.”
“I hope I can meet her soon!”
“Me too.”
When you finally knocked yourself out, he laid on the table facing your sleeping face and smiled.
“(Y/N), I love you.”
#manhwa#s classes that i raised#s class#han yoojin#the s classes that i raised#my s class hunters#han yoohyun#han yoojin x reader#female reader#x reader#manhwa x reader#light angst#angst#fluff
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Stitch up
Azriel x reader
Request: Could you please write a story where Azriel and the reader are on a mission, and the reader is injured and she needs stitches, and Azriel is the one who has to do it.
Warnings: vague description of injury, sad Az, hurt/comfort
“Sweetheart, please. You need to sit still so I can do this right.”
“Az, it’s not necessary. The bleeding has stopped and it’ll close up by itself. There are people out there that need proper healing, I need to get back out there.” You continued to evade Azriel’s flittering hands as he tried to hold your face still to assess the wound on your cheek. His large frame blocked the doorway to your tent, stopping you from slipping past and back out into the war camp.
“It is fucking necessary. Sit down now,” he was getting frustrated now but so were you. You stared each other down, neither bothering to hide your irritation from the other through the bond.
“You might give orders on that battlefield, Azriel, but you will not tell me what to do when it comes to healing my patients. Get out of my way,” you demanded, arms crossed over your chest. The stinging of the laceration on your cheek was long forgotten, and the Hybern General that had inflicted it was long dead thanks to your mate.
Azriel hesitated before stepping to the side, clearing your path to the door. But as you reached it, he spoke again.
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have spoken to you like that. Please just let me stitch you up, I’ll be quick.”
You turned to look at him, noting that the anger on his face had quickly melted to guilt and pleading. You glanced out of the tent to assess how much you were needed at the healers’ stations, and realised your colleagues had it mostly under control.
Without speaking, you walked back to your mate and sat down in one of the chairs he had pulled over from the strategy table.
He gave you a small smile, and his shadows brushed over your arms and hands in gratitude as he readied the suture kit. He began his task in silence.
“Why is this so important to you? You knew I would have been fine letting it heal on its own,” you asked gently, understanding there was an issue Azriel hadn’t voiced yet.
“I can’t let you scar,” he murmured quietly, not meeting your eye as he focused on getting his stitches perfect.
“The thought of a small scar on my face is really that repulsive?” you replied, trying to keep your hurt feelings from projecting down the bond.
Azriel’s head snapped up.
“No! Gods no, it’s not that. You would be perfect in my eyes no matter what, a scar couldn’t change that.”
“Then what’s the problem?” you urged again.
“I have so many scars. Probably hundreds by now. And they are all permanent reminders of times I was too weak to protect myself. I wasn’t fast enough or clever enough in a fight, or I wasn’t strong enough to deter my brothers from tormenting me. I can’t stand the thought of my failure to protect you today becoming a permanent mark on your skin,” he took a deep breath as he finished his speech and lowered his hands as they had begun shaking.
You took the needle from him and placed it on the table next to you before cupping his face in your hands. After a beat of silence, his eyes met yours.
“Azriel, you have never once failed to protect me. This wound is proof of that. A Hybern General marked me for death while I was too busy to defend myself, and yet I’ve walked away with barely a scratch. And your own scars are proof of nothing but your bravery and honour in everything you do,” you spoke with certainty, and sealed your declaration with a kiss to his chapped lips.
Never one for many words, Azriel simply nodded but his eyes were a fraction lighter than they had been before and the love he sent flooding through the bond was enough of a response for you.
Leaning forward to press his own kiss to your forehead, he picked up the needle and continued his task.
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A short but sweet one hopefully! Thank you for the request🫶
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Save Us
Request: Heyyyyoooo! Could you maybe do a dean x reader where she’s always been the rock in the relationship, even tho he’s not that emotional either, but she’s just literally never upset or seems sad, but one day she has a nightmare and then that just kind of starts the ball rolling and she just kinda finally needs dean and he’s there and comforts her?
Dean x Reader
Word Count: 2428
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“We’ll be home in about an hour,” Dean’s tired, flat voice tumbled through your phone speaker.
“Hunt didn’t go well, I take it?”
“We got the ghost,” he sighed heavily. “But not before it got some more kids.”
Years and years of being just too late definitely took a toll on hunters. Dean grew up in the life, so it was his normal. But even though he constantly said it wasn’t a big deal, or he was used to it, you knew it was a lie. He needed his downtime. He needed comfort. And beyond his need for that reassurance, he deserved it.
“I’m so sorry, babe.” It was so hard to hear him so down when you couldn’t hold him. “How’s Sam doing? Think you can convince him to take the weekend off and not look for another hunt?”
There was a low murmur on the other end of the call while Dean spoke with Sam. A moment later, you were put on speakerphone, the background noise of the car becoming louder.
“How’s your leg?” Sam asked.
“I think it’s almost all the way healed. If you keep your laptop shut for the weekend, I should be able to come on the next hunt.”
Sam chuckled. “Fine, fine. Radio silent weekend.”
With that out of the way, you said your farewells and hung up.
Your leg was perfectly fine. The fracture was healed and you’d been working out on it for the last few days while the boys finished up a two week long hunting spree across the country. But using your leg as an excuse gave Dean the space to not feel like this break was because of him. He hated being the reason you all took a few days off. He hated feeling like the weak link.
So you let him think he was doing this for you, when in all actuality, you would be spending the weekend building him back up, getting his confidence and mental strength back to their normal levels.
*****
“Son of a bitch!” Dean yelled, his voice echoing across the warehouse. After cutting down the Djinn’s victim, you transferred her to Sam’s arms before setting off in search of your boyfriend.
The Djinn had gotten away and all three of you were feeling the disappointment and failure. But after the last few hunts had gone awry, you knew that Dean was teetering on the edge. Hell, you all were, but he took it particularly hard. He always felt responsible for everything that went wrong. And when everything went wrong for a solid four weeks in a row? Well… nothing you could say to him would be heard over the spearing self-hatred that was surely chorusing in his head right now.
“Babe?” It was probably best to announce your presence before touching him. You knew he wouldn’t ever hurt you on purpose, and you could definitely handle yourself, but you’d rather not have to dodge his pent up swing and add that to his guilt that he nearly hit his girlfriend. “Hey, Dean. C’mere.”
He shook his head, hand pressed against the wall, head hung low. “He got away, Y/N. I had him right here.”
“We’ll get him, Dean.” Padding over softly, you wrapped your arms around his waist, pressing your cheek between his shoulder blades. It didn’t matter that his shirt was damp with sweat. It didn’t matter that you had blood spattered on your cheek. All that mattered was that Dean knew that you were there for him. “Maybe not tonight, but we’ll get him.”
You could hear Sam talking softly to the two victims you’d saved, but chose to stay with Dean. Sam knew what he was doing. You and he had a lot in common when it came to dealing with failure. And right now, Sam had a job, so he would be able to make it until he was alone, or until the three of you collapsed in the hotel room.
Dean however…
His breathing was slowing and heartbeat quieting under your ear. When he took one, last deep breath and straightened out, you loosened your hold around him, but didn’t let go. As soon as Dean turned around, you hugged him close again, breathing a sigh of relief when his arms surrounded you and his nose nudged into your hair, breathing deeply.
He was going to be okay.
*****
“I’m sure it’s just a cold,” you said through a stuffy nose, buried in blankets on your bed. “You two go. I’ll be fine for the weekend.”
Dean took a step forward and you held up your hand to ward him off. You didn’t want him getting sick too. “I don’t mind staying here with you, Y/N.”
“And leave Sam alone? Last time you did that, he ended up taking off for a few days to see some author read her book for hours on end. The kid needs you, Dean. Who else will pull him from his geeky ways?”
“I think my sick girlfriend needs me too.”
“All that’d do is get you sick too. I’ll just take it easy for a few days, watch some Netflix, take some baths, eat some soup… I appreciate it, Dean. But I don’t want you to get sick.”
He sighed, giving in. “Alright. Fine. But I’m gonna be checking in so often it’ll feel like I never left.”
“Wouldn’t expect anything less.”
As he came closer, you knew it was pointless to try to get him to stay away. He wouldn’t leave without a kiss, even if it was just on the forehead. And, to be honest, you wouldn’t want him too. Looking up into his shining eyes, you gave him a weak smile. “Love you, Dean.”
“Love you too, sweetheart. Take care.”
You watched as he closed the door behind him before you sank back down into the pillows. It wasn’t even half an hour later that your chills turned to shakes and you barely made it to the toilet before upheaving the light breakfast you’d been nibbling on. With your head in the toilet bowl, you didn’t hear the squeal of the garage door opening or the heavy footsteps coming down the hallway. It was the fingers on your head, pulling your hair back from your face that would have made you jump if you’d had the energy.
“Dean?”
“I’m here, babe.”
“What about—”
“Sam called Charlie. She’ll meet him down in Georgia. I couldn’t leave my best girl alone while she was sick, so I just ran into town for a quick supply run.” Once he had all of your hair in a messy bun in his hand, he settled onto the floor next to you. “And I don’t want to hear anything about me getting sick.”
“’m glad you’re here.” Getting through a cold alone wasn’t a big deal. But when it suddenly became the flu?
The porcelain of the toilet was cold against your cheek; a stark contrast to the heat in your cheek. For nearly fifteen minutes, you sat there on the floor with Dean’s fingers tangled in your hair. When you puked all you had left to puke, you sat back against the wall with a sheen of sweat across your forehead. “Why can I keep fighting after literally getting shot in the leg, but a stupid virus knocks me out?”
Dean chuckled beside you, reaching up to fill a cup with water. “As badass as you are, sweetheart, you’re still human. Here, swish and spit.”
Just the slight movement it took to sit up and spit into the toilet upset your fragile equilibrium and triggered more dry heaving.
It was going to be a long few days.
*****
“Dean! Over there!” you shouted, pointing at the ghost that appeared behind Sam, who immediately dropped so Dean could shoot the phantom with rock salt.
Once the ghost disappeared momentarily, Sam resumed digging the grave. The pile of dirt seemed to grow and grow and grow, but the hole didn’t get any deeper. “Sam, hurry up!!”
“I’m going as fast as I can,” he gritted out, throwing another shovel of dirt on the pile that was now nearly as tall as him.
Three small kids ran out from behind the dirt pile just as your breaths started coming out in cloudy puffs. It seemed like your body was paralyzed. You tried to run to the kids, but couldn’t move as the ghost advanced on them instead. Desperate, you called out to Dean, trying to get him to shoot rock salt at the ghost for a brief reprieve.
But he didn’t respond.
“Dean!” You tried calling out again, again receiving no response.
The tell-tale sound of a shovel hitting a casket pulled you from your paralysis and you found that you could move again. Hinges creaked and you looked down in the hole that seemed to be a mile deep as Sam opened the casket. “Toss me the fuel and salt, Y/N!”
The fuel… the fuel… where the hell is the fuel? You looked all around you for the duffle bag that you swore was right next to you just moments ago only to see a patch of grass. The green grass shriveled into dusty brown specks before your eyes.
“Y/N!” Sam’s shout came again, but you couldn’t tear your gaze away from the grass particles that were carried away by the wind.
Suddenly, the three kids were right in front of you. Blood dripped down their faces and they spoke in concert: “You didn’t save us. Why didn’t you save us, Y/N?”
“No… no!” Backing away from the awful scene, you tripped and fell backwards, arms reeling as the grave Sam had just dug stretched into a seemingly never-ending fun house mirror effect. Children’s faces watched you from behind the mirrors, angry frowns morphing into chilling grins, damning you for your failures. Their deaths were on you. Further and further you fell, some unknown force pulling you towards purgatory.
Then you were standing in an old motel room. You gasped for air, doubling over. Equilibrium should have returned, but it was as if you were on a merry-go-round and the world wouldn’t stop tilting.
“Y/N.” Dean’s voice normally grounded you. But now? His deep rasp reached into your body and gripped your throat. Your air supply was cut off so suddenly that you couldn’t even gasp for breath. Those green eyes you loved so much glared daggers at you. “They died because of you. It’s all your fault.”
*****
“Stop it!” You shouted, waking yourself.
Dean’s head shot up from where he was bent over a laptop on the desk. “Whoa, Y/N.” As your chest heaved, struggling for breath, Dean hurried over. He immediately wrapped his arm around your shoulder. “Baby, you’re okay. It was just a dream.”
You shook your head. “No, no it’s–” You cut yourself off and forced a deep breath in. Sure, the events were a dream, but the words? They were true. They were true, and they caught up to you. You’d spent so long shoving aside reality and focusing on the brothers and what they needed. What Dean needed.
Dean.
He didn’t need to deal with this. As soon as you could, you would fortify yourself again and push it all away. You’d be back to good again.
Another deep breath and you shook your head again, this time to clear your mind. “Just a dream,” you whispered, repeating his words. “Just a dream.”
“That’s right, sweetheart. Just a dream.”
You focused on Dean’s hand moving over your arm, drawing comfort from the familiar action. When you felt calm enough, you looked up at Dean, intending to thank him. But he took one look at your eyes and his brow furrowed.
“Sweetheart?”
“It was just a dream, Dean. I’m fine. I just… It’s the life, right?”
Calloused fingers trailed down your cheek and Dean brought his forehead to hers. “Sure, sweetheart. But that doesn’t mean nightmares don’t get to us.”
“They don’t get to you,” you whispered.
He sighed, breath disturbing the air between them. “Baby, they do. But I’ve got you. I get to wake up next to you and I remember that whatever the hell I’ve gone through and whatever I’ve fucked up in my life, somehow I’ve managed to do something right enough that you love me.”
“I do love you,” you murmured.
“Whatever your nightmare was about, whatever was said… Baby that’s not real. I love you. And that’s fucking real.”
For a long moment you sat in silence, just taking in the warmth and affection from Dean. Then you cracked a timid smile, taking the first step out of the tailspin that the dream had sent you into. “Since when do you say such pretty words, Dean Winchester?”
“Since the day I fell in love with you. And every damn day that I get to stand by your side and hold your hand and feel how much you love me.” His thumb traced over your cheek bone, drawing your eyes to his. “I don’t need to know the details about your dream. But if I can manage to deserve someone as amazing as you in my life after the shit I’ve done, then you sure as hell deserve sainthood just for putting up with me, not to mention for all of the people you’ve saved.”
“I didn’t save them all, Dean.” Your eyes fell from his as the kids’ faces from your dream flickered across the sheets in front of you.
“Baby, we couldn’t save them all. We tried every damn thing we could. Sometimes, it just isn’t possible.” Dean brushed his lips across your cheek. “You taught me that. Guess it was past time that you got that reminder, huh?”
You gave in and leaned against him, physically and mentally. “Pretty words from a pretty face. How did I get so lucky to have such a great boyfriend?”
“You think I’m pretty?” He smiled. “Cause I think those pretty words came from your pretty face first, sweetheart.”
His nose nudged yours moments before a soft kiss was brushed across your lips like a paintbrush feathering a sunset onto a canvas. The rumble of thunder in Dean’s voice settled you like a comforting weighted blanket. “‘sides, sweetheart… you saved me the moment I met you. If you can save a bastard like me, anything that tells you that you failed can shove it.”
Eyes shining, you fell into his eyes. “We saved each other, Dean.”
“Damn right, we did.”
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Hi! Idk if you’re requests are still open but!
Could you do a Donnie getting mad/having a bad day and he kinda explodes (with no reason/gratuitamente) with reader (she)? And they stay away from the lair for a while, and happy ending! (Just want heart-crushing angst with happy ending hsuahs)
(Tbh the prompt I actually thought was “Donnie was stressed and tired of being different, reader who’s autistic says they relate, so he explodes saying they don’t, how could they?” But idk if you’re ok with writing that, so I simplified it! ~I’m autistic, that’s why I thought of that~)
If my ask is to complicated or didn’t inspire you that’s tots ok! I understand! (Sorry this ask was so big too!)
Have a good day/ night! ☺️
It's okay, your prompt is amazing ☺️ Sorry for keeping you waiting for too long... I had to deal with college in the past several months.
I hope I did write the way you asked. Enjoy 💜
It was a quiet night in the lair, but that didn't reflect Donatello's internal state. The laboratory was plunged into darkness, save for the dim light of the monitors that cast dancing shadows on the walls. The frantic sound of the keyboard echoed, the only sound apart from the hum of the machines at work. Donnie was exhausted, physically and emotionally. His brain was burning with data overload, with formulas and calculations that didn't fit together as they should. It had been days of incessant research, of failed experiments, of trying to find solutions to problems that seemed to multiply.
Every mistake, every failure, was a nagging reminder that he needed to be better. He had to be better. There was no room for weakness. His brothers depended on him, the world depended on him. And the constant pressure to deliver results was starting to implode inside. Exhaustion weighed heavily on his shoulders, but he kept pushing, ignoring the body that was crying out for rest, ignoring the accumulated stress.
She entered the laboratory, as she had done so many times before. Her steps were soft, as if she were trying not to interrupt, but her presence always brought a sense of comfort that Donnie appreciated, even if he never admitted it out loud. He was so focused that he barely noticed her coming until he felt the soft touch of her fingers on his shoulder.
"Hey, Donnie..." Her voice was soft, a gentle touch to his swirling mind. "Are you all right?"
Donatello barely lifted his eyes from the monitors, trying to recalculate a complicated sequence. "I'm busy now," he muttered, his fingers still running across the keyboard.
She waited for a moment, watching the tiredness on his face. She knew that he threw himself into his work when he was frustrated or anxious, and she had learned to give him space when necessary. But now, there was something different in the air. He seemed more tense than usual, more closed off.
She let out a little sigh, hesitating before speaking again. "I know you're busy, but... maybe it's time to take a break? You've been at it for hours..."
Her touch should have been a comfort, but at that moment, something in Donnie snapped. The pressure, the frustration, the accumulated tiredness - it all blended together in an explosion of emotions that he could no longer control.
“I said I'm busy!” His voice echoed louder than he had intended. He stood up abruptly from his chair, his eyes blazing with anger, anger that wasn't hers, but which ended up being directed at her. “Don't you understand? I can't stop! If I stop, I'll fail. If I fail, everything falls apart! And you here, distracting me with… with your unimportant things!
She took a step back, shocked. The impact of his words had hit her like a punch in the gut. Never, in all the time she had known him, had he spoken to her like that. Always so calm, so controlled… but now, he seemed on the verge of collapse. Her eyes filled with tears before she could control herself, but she refused to let them fall. She didn't want to show how much it had hurt her.
“I'm sorry for… bothering you.” Her voice was low, broken, almost inaudible.
She turned quickly and left the lab before he could say anything else, before the tears flowed. Donnie stood there, his heart racing, the echo of his words still hanging in the air. For a few seconds, he remained motionless, trying to process what had just happened. Then the guilt began to set in, slow and corrosive.
He had hurt someone who had never been anything but kind to him. He had hurt her.
She walked aimlessly through the streets of New York, the cold of the night beginning to bother her, but nothing compared to the tightness in her chest. The emotional pain was much stronger than any physical discomfort. She couldn't stop thinking about his words, the tone of his voice. It was as if the Donnie she knew, the one who always cared, who listened and understood, had disappeared, replaced by someone she barely recognized.
She walked for hours, wandering around the city, trying to find some clarity amidst the confusion of feelings. Part of her wanted to understand why he had exploded like that. He was overwhelmed, that was obvious. But did that justify what he'd said? The sharp words still echoed in her mind, and she wondered if he really thought that.
While she was lost in thought, Donnie was back in the lab, but his focus had completely disappeared. The screens flashed in front of him, but he could barely see what was written. Guilt was consuming him from the inside out. He knew he had made a mistake, that he had said horrible things. The frustration he felt wasn't her fault, and yet he had taken it out on the person who least deserved it.
Finally, he got up from his chair and left the lair. He needed to find her, he needed to correct the mistake he had made. He didn't know exactly what he would say, but he knew he had to apologize, he had to make amends.
After some time, he found her. She was sitting on top of a building, her gaze lost in the horizon. The evening breeze swayed her hair, and Donnie felt his heart squeeze at seeing her so far away, so hurt. He hesitated for a moment before approaching. Each step seemed heavy, weighed down by guilt and regret.
“Hey,” he called, his voice softer than before, almost fearful.
She didn't turn around immediately, but he knew she had heard. Donnie sat down next to her, keeping a respectful distance. The silence between them was thick, full of unspoken words, but he knew he needed to speak, needed to break through that wall he himself had erected.
“I'm sorry,” he began, his voice low, sincere. “I… I shouldn't have spoken to you like that. You didn't deserve that. None of it was your fault.”
She remained silent for a few moments, and he almost thought she wouldn't answer. But then she sighed, her eyes still fixed on the city.
“Why did you do it, Donnie?” her voice was broken, and he realized how much his words had really hurt her. “I just… I just wanted to help you. And you pushed me away.”
Donnie closed his eyes for a moment, feeling the weight of his own failings. “I know. I know you were only trying to help. And I… I was an idiot. I was frustrated, tired, and lost control. But that's no excuse for what I did.”
She finally turned her face to look at him. Her eyes were watery, but the anger had given way to a deep sadness. “You didn't have to hurt me like that, Donnie. I'm always here for you, you know that. And yet… you blew up at me, as if I was part of the problem.”
Her words dug deep into Donnie's heart. He had been the cause of her pain, and now he could clearly see the impact his actions had had. It wasn't just the momentary explosion, but what came after - the insecurity, the doubt. He needed to fix that.
Donnie swallowed, feeling small in the face of what he had caused. “I never meant to hurt you,” he said, his voice full of regret. “You're… the last person in the world I wanted to be cruel to. I was just so overwhelmed, with all the pressure of being the brains, of having to sort everything out for my brothers… And I ended up taking it out on you.”
She sighed, looking at the horizon again. “I understand that you have this responsibility, Donnie. I know how much you carry. But I was also there, trying to share that weight with you. And you pushed me away, as if I wasn't important.”
Her words pierced his heart harder than any physical attack could. She was right. He had spent so long concentrating on his own burden that he didn't realize how much she was trying to help, how much she wanted to be there for him.
“I was wrong,” he said, with more conviction this time. “I was wrong about everything. I know I can be controlling and stubborn, but I need you. I… want you by my side. You're important to me. More than I can express.”
She remained silent, absorbing his words. He moved a little closer, reaching out hesitantly and placing his hand gently on hers.
“I promise,” he said, his voice soft but firm. “I promise I'll try to be better. I'll work on myself, on how I handle things, so that this doesn't happen again.”
She looked at him, her eyes finally meeting his, assessing the sincerity she saw there. And she realized that, although he had made a mistake, he was willing to do whatever it took to make it right. It was a long road, but she knew Donnie was committed to walking it.
“I want to believe that, Donnie,” she murmured, her voice still tinged with a slight pain. “I just… need some time.”
He nodded, understanding. “I understand. And I'll give you as much time as you need.”
They sat in silence for a few more minutes, side by side, watching the city lights. The noise of life below continued, indifferent to the emotions that filled the top of that building. But there, between them, time seemed to have slowed down, making room for reconciliation, for forgiveness.
She leaned forward, resting her head on his shoulder, a small concession. He felt relief run down his spine, as if that simple gesture was proof that things would eventually be all right. He knew he was lucky - lucky that she was still there, by his side, even after everything.
Donnie wrapped his arm around her, gently pulling her closer, as if he were trying to protect her not only from the outside world, but also from himself. His heart was pounding, but this time, not out of guilt or anger, but out of gratitude. He knew he had a second chance, and he would do his best not to waste it.
They stayed there for a while longer, the silence now less heavy, more comforting. The cold night wind blew lightly, but Donnie felt the warmth of having her close again. She was still hurting, and he knew it would take time for everything to heal completely. But he was willing to wait, willing to do whatever it took to win back her trust.
Finally, she stood up slowly, and Donnie followed her. She gave him a small smile, still shy, but which warmed his heart. “Let's go home,” she said, and those words were all he needed to hear.
Together, they descended from the building and headed back to the lair. The walk back was silent, but the tension between them had eased. She didn't hold his hand, but she didn't push him away either. For Donnie, that was a start.
And he knew that, in time, they would find a way to heal - together.
*****
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#tmnt#teenage mutant ninja turtles#bayverse tmnt#tmnt 2016#tmnt 2016 x reader#tmnt donnie x reader#tmnt donatello#tmnt donnie#tmnt 2014#tmnt fanfiction#fanfic
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