#I’m sleepy and incoherent but I love them so much I’m crying

[rrr-is-gay]

Nobody understands how much Ram and Bheem love each other. They both have this consistent, immediate, full body reaction to each other’s company that just radiates peace and comfort and safety every single time. It’s fucking insane cuz neither one of them has time for this, like, they’re both on missions in Delhi. They don’t actually want to be there. And yet!!!! The pain of what holds them both there disappears when they’re together, only reemerging when they do things like work alone or walk on opposite sides of the barbed wire fence. Solitude is misery; Togetherness is bliss!!!!!!

It’s actually such a beautiful prelude to how they return to one another at the end and help each other achieve their goals, only as a united front!!!! Dosti shows us two men that are so blissfully in love when they’re together, but held at a distance by secrets and shame and the crushing weight of individual responsibility. Together We Rock shows us two men JOINING TOGETHER AS ONE, stronger and more powerful through their unity than they ever could be individually.

Their love is a microcosm for revolution!!!!!!!!

[mrsnancywheeler]

silver springs

finnick odair x gn!reader

2k words

masterlist

summary: finnick's cycle of self destruction stops for no one, even if it tears the two of you apart, but you refuse to fade into the past.

warnings: angst, lots of it, self destructive behavior, mentions of trafficking, allusions to consensual smut, reader values their virginity, arguments, break ups, trauma, unhealthy relationship dynamics, unhappy ending, but could be interpreted as hopeful if you want it to be, unedited, no use of y/n

𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒

Finnick knows he should just fall asleep, let himself rest and turn his brain off from overthinking, but he can't. You deserve better, so much better than the broken boy from District 4 who will forever be playing his role in the puppet show. Where you've fought the demons off with compassion for each person you've come across, it shames him how easily he can fall into the facade of the egotistical Capitol darling. Eventually his outlook will consume the joy you've harvested to forcefully in the depths of your heart and he knows not a minute will pass that he can look at himself in the mirror knowing he did that to you. So he has to end it, to let you be free for a much happier life, at least that's what he tells himself as he prepares for you to wake.

You're so beautiful in the moonlight that glows on your sleeping face and he's even more enthralled when the sun begins to rise and it's like you're an angel in the colors. He's not sure when he let a few tears shed thinking about how when you wake up it'll be the last time he sees you like this, but it's for the best. When you do hazily wake up, blankets falling off your bare body as you sit up, all your sleepy smiles make his heart clench even more, but his brain more certain.

“Good morning." You mumble out, leaning in for a kiss which he scoots away from and your incoherent brain snaps to attention. No matter how long it's been since you've been in the arena, you doubt that instinct will ever go away, the need to be constantly on edge if something seems slightly off, and he is. Finnick is usually the type to be just returning from a swim with some fish he caught in the morning or arms wrapped around you. “What's wrong?" You can feel a defense mechanism settling in with the numbness of your voice, had you really finally had the courage to let someone have your body only for them to pull away from your love the very next morning? What a cruel master the universe seemed to be no matter what cards you played.

Finnick's eyes were glossy and he rubbed his face as he sniffled, forcing the words out of his reluctant throat, “I don't think we should see each other anymore." Before the words have even finished tumbling out of his mouth you've pulled the blanket back up to cover your exposed chest. How could you be so cautious of something only for it to come from the person you least expected, apparently you weren't cautious enough.

“Oh." It's humiliating, if you could just disappear into the air you would give anything to do so. You can't cry, it would only further that humiliation, so you robotically move to the side of the bed to grab the panties that had been so lazily thrown off by him the night before. “Congrats on the score, Finnick, hopefully I'm worth a good amount of points." Your voice can't be allowed to crack or shake, but it's fighting against your willpower.

“It's not like that." Finnick quickly says, observing you, and he'll never say it, but he's scared. He doesn't want you to hate him, to break your heart, he just wants you to be free of his chains.

You scoff and have to force yourself to stand without the protection of the blanket so you can find the rest of your strewn about clothes. “I’m sure that's what you tell all of them.” All of us, he's always been a rumored playboy, but with what the Capitol did to him that was what you'd placed it on. Not that he played people, but that he was unfairly used, now you reasoned, two things could be true at once. Him having past partners had never bothered you when he began talking to you, but now you wondered how he left them. You glance back for less then a second when you see he's buried his head in hands, not answering.

He knows this isn't true, that he's doing this because he cares too much to let his darkness eat you alive. Maybe he'll even have to say that to you, so he won't have to live with the additional weight of your resentment.

“I just-" Your throat breaks on a sob you're holding back, “I know it's not important to everyone, but it was important to me, Finnick. I gave you something that I wasn't ready to give anyone else because I thought…” You sighed, "It doesn't matter what I thought, but it's so fucked that you took that away when you knew.” A stray tear has forced its way through which you're wiping away as soon as you can. Your pants are in a pile at the end of the bed which you quickly grab.

“I'm sorry." His voice isn't hiding the tears as he looks up from his hands, he's genuine and you can tell as much from his voice, but it doesn't stop the internal berating of being so stupid to finally share that intimate part of yourself when he would leave you hours later. “I didn't plan it like that, honey, I didn't."

“Please, don't call me that." He nods his head in retreat after your request that was meant to be more forceful, preferably he'd never speak to you again.

“You deserve better, so much better." You agree, the bare minimum would be a day before he broke the news not hours after you'd slept with him. “Better than me, I need you to have better.” He feels like a child, knees pulled up to his chest as he gives you up so you'll be far away from his destruction, but you feel more like a toy he's gotten bored of playing with. Like a hurricane it hits you that he means being with you, a sentiment he’s murmured many times in your relationship even if you insisted otherwise at each utterance. Yet you can no longer find it in you to assure him otherwise, no matter how much you disagree.

“Oh my god, this is the ‘woe is me, I'm Finnick Odair, so unlovable’ act again!” You could tear your hair out, "I could love you, Finnick! That's who could and I'm so sick of this push and pull thing you play at. But we are all dealing with things inside and you refuse to be, not even helped, but at least cared for!”

He's gotten up from the bed, shaking his head with as much intent as he can muster, "If you loved me it would kill you.”

"Says who?” You no longer care about whether or not you're keeping composure or yelling, you've spent every moment you can trying to assure him and within the hours you slept he decided to tear it all apart. "Oh right, just you! You and your endless piles of self doubt, I'm not asking for that to go away, but you could at least be open to hearing others out."

“It's for you, honey, I couldn't live with myself if I put you through that."

Any movements you were making stop as you stare at him, he's so honest, so eager, and you radiate an anger he despises himself for making, but wants to catch the last few sparks of before he leaves forever. “You are so selfish. Have you ever even considered the fact that I would suffer more without you, then with you, or were you too busy trying to punish yourself for not spending every moment of your life in a pile of guilt?”

He doesn't answer and you know it's a no. Part of you says it's wrong to tell a man who's always eating himself up from the inside that he's selfish, but you feel like you're on autopilot.

"I'm a person, Finnick! Everyone you've ever dated is. You do not get to play house for a year to live in a fantasy and then push us away whenever your thoughts are too much, that's why it doesn't work, you won't let it. And everyone who puts in the effort to love you, to care about you, has it all swept away when you're ready to wallow again. That way when you briefly decide it's over you can do it all over again.” You're pulling on the pants before you can look around for the shirt in some hidden spot.

Finnick feels like he's running cold, part of him knows you're right that his cycle is neverending, but you can understand, he tells himself. Even if you're a fellow victor, no one can help him, he's resigned himself to it and you're too light of a bubble to let you pop. So he has to live in denial, that he has to protect you from himself even if that is really what's attacking you now, “I care and I can't do this to you. You don't understand, I'm like a whirlpool waiting to suck everything in with me."

“You have." You find the shirt and button it up with fumbling fingers, blood pulsating in anger, sadness, and the want to beg him to change his mind and let you sit with forever. But you know you can't subject yourself to his cyclone of self-destruction any longer, not when you have your own struggles to deal with. The things you couldn't tell him about because of the constant pressure to be the light in his bleak outlook of the world, even when you were so tempted whenever it seemed like he was in his true state. The Finnick that was sweet and giving, or maybe you were an idealist wishing for a man that he could truly never be. “I won't fade into obscurity over you.” Your voice has become considerably softer and you gaze at his shaking body.

"What?” He asks, he knows that you won't understand why he has to do what he's convinced himself he must, but that doesn't prevent him from wanting to take it all back, embrace you, and promise to do better even if he knows he won't.

"I'm a victor too, Finnick. Every party, I'll be there, when you have to watch required programs on the television, I'll be there. I won't take a step back just because I'm hurt, we're all wounded dogs, Finnick, some of us just handle it better and I won't quiet myself just because it might remind you of another person you've pushed behind.”

“I'm not asking you too."

“No, but it's what you're used to. I'm not just someone else from home, you will always hear my voice, see my face, and I need you to know that. I want you to get better, Finnick, because I care about you more than you can even fathom, but I will be a hitch from what you're used to. You deserve to know that, I'm sorry if that makes it more difficult for you or maybe it's what you need. A wake-up call that whatever you're doing is what's actually hurting people not whatever fucked up fantasy it is you're listening to in your head.”

Finnick wanted you to know how much you cared, but said nothing as he pushed down more tears when you left, never to be in his room again. The mornings spent in your comfort are officially gone. You'd been right of course, he couldn't wallow and move on because you were everywhere. Your laugh in his ears at every party, your saccharine voice on the screen, your presence around every turn. Maybe you'd even been right when you insinuated this was what he was missing, he couldn't forget about you long enough to fall into his routine, especially not when the echoes that once told him he had to let you go sang a different tune. How destructive he was for letting the one person who could even attempt to anchor his tortured soul go.

𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒

Thank you for reading, as always feedback, comments, likes, reblogs, is all super appreciated! I was going to write another chapter of the lakes but I had this idea in my brain presenting so here it is. 💋

[fict1onallyobsessed]

Hey!

Rhea/Demi x fem reader. Where they’ve been dating for about 2 months and Rhea doesn’t know that reader has a 4 months old baby from the previous relationship. After reader opens up about it and introduces them Rhea falls in love with the baby.

Thank youuuuuu

Surprises

Rhea Ripley x Reader

Ty for the request :)

Your hands shook with worry, squeezing the steering wheel until your knuckles turned white. Demi sat in the passenger seat, eyeing your nervous form since you started driving.

You’d told her you needed to tell her something, but you’d have to explain at your apartment. She only raised a brow and nodded, both of you climbing into your car before you drove to your apartment.

She’d asked and reassured you throughout the drive, but you just gave her nervous smiled and hums. It made her even more confused, but she let it go and let you park in your parking spot.

Your hands fumbled with the key, finally opening the door to your apartment. Your sister sat on the sofa looking at her phone when you both entered. She instantly stood up and greeted the both of you before getting her stuff and leaving.

“What is it? Why are you so nervous?” She asked, watching as you sighed and asked her to follow you. Walking through the small corridor and into the room, you walked in first and turned on the little light in the corner of the room.

Your daughter, only four months old, sleeping soundly in his little crib. The light only slightly illuminated his face, but it seemed to wake him up anyway. Rhea walked in behind you, staring with wide eyes at the little baby.

“Hey.” You chuckled, reaching out to pick up Alex from her crib. Cuddling your child in your arms until she stopped crying, you spun to face your girlfriend of two months, who stood stunned at the baby.

“This is Alex.” She looked up at your eyes then back at the baby, stuttering over her words or what to say.

“S-she’s yours?”

You nodded hesitantly, sighing deeply as you prepared yourself for the worst.

“I had to tell you before it was too late-”

Both your heads snapped when Alex started babbling, making incoherent noises to interrupt your speaking. You smiled down at the child, and Demi looked at how in love you were with the kid. Obviously, she was yours, but she didn’t think she could be anymore in love with you than she already was.

“Can I?” She asked, holding her hand out as a silent ask to hold the baby. Your eyes widened, but you nodded nonetheless, carefully passing her the child.

You watched as Demi held your daughter with one arm close to her body, the other reaching to let the kid grab her thumb in her little thumb. Demi’s smile only widened the more she looked down at her, only seeing your best features in her face.

Once Alex started looking sleepy, Demi gently placed her back in her crib and left the room to talk to you in the kitchen. You weren’t expecting such a great reaction from Demi, considering her career. So you hoped she’d stay, but you’d understand if she didn’t.

She walked into the kitchen, after closing the door to your daughters room, sighing deeply as she tried to process everything she just experienced.

“Why didn’t you tell me earlier?” She asked gently, walking towards you.

“I was afraid you’d get scared off.” You admitted, leaning against the kitchen island.

When you felt hand wrap around your waist you spun around, letting Demi envelope you in an embrace. As much as you didn’t want to overthink, this could potentially be a hug goodbye. Who knew?

“I’m not leaving because you have a kid.”

You relaxed in her hold, exhaling softly in relief.

“I wish you’d told me sooner.”

Nodding you whispered a weak ‘I know. I’m sorry.’ Before Demi kissed your forehead.

Ever since then, Demi had become like a second mother to Alex. After work you’d walk into your apartment and see Demi sleeping on the couch, holding Alex in her arms as she slept soundly too.

It melted your heart, knowing the two people you love the most got along. It was all you really needed, Demi, you and Alex as one happy family.

(Demi would also constantly post pictures of Alex online once your relationship was public, but that’s a story for another time)

THE END

IMAGINE DEMI ASLEEP WITH A BABY ON HER CHEST BYE IM SO GAY AND BABY FEVER PLS HELP ME LORD

[taechaos]

Little Secret

pairing: step-dad!Jungkook x fem!Reader

synopsis: From a fun celebration to not getting to the bathroom on time, you pee yourself in the middle of the living room and your step-dad has to take care of you.

warnings: smut, pseudo-incest, urine, fingering in tub, dubcon

word count: 2.4k

a/n: this is the disgusting fic i was talking about 🥰 not proofread, just smth i wrote in one day for fun. enjoy as long as u dont hate piss lol 😔👍

It's a night of celebration—the end of high school. It's the best celebration yet because you, after surviving hell of twelve years, are at the legal age to drink in a bar with your friends; the best night you can recall in your drunken state. Dancing, singing karaoke, giggling: pure joy.

So why are you crying while stumbling around in the living room? You sob and hiccup with a hand over your face and the other holding the couch for support. It has never been so difficult to stand straight, and you're thankful your mother's sleep is so heavy that she wouldn't wake up from your wails. 

But your step-dad's sleep is as light as a cat's, and you don't hear his heavy footsteps or grumbles as he climbs down the stairs. He rubs the sleep away from his eyes and they widen the moment they lay on you. He's about to call your name until his eyes trail down to the dark patch on your jeans. He doesn't need to ask why you're crying so loudly; it's easy to tell you're under the influence, and well, it apparently makes you very emotional since you're so upset about peeing your pants. 

But you're not exactly doing anything about it.

"Oh, it's okay," Jungkook coos and walks over to you to bring you into a light hug. 

You snuggle your face into his loose white shirt and sniffle. "I didn't– I didn't mean to," you snivel. "I-I couldn't get to the," you inhale shakily, "b-bathroom on time."

"That's okay," he runs his fingers through your hair soothingly, equally disheveled as his. "Don't cry, sweetheart. It happens; it's not a big deal. We'll get you cleaned up."

"I-I ruined it!"

"The washing machine—"

"No," you whimper pathetically, "it's ruined. My denim—" your head rolls back along with your eyes to the back of your skull. You go limp for a few seconds, and Jungkook holds you tightly. Just as he's about to ask you if you're alright, you continue, "the denim is forever ruined!"

Stepping away from his clutches, you rub your palms against the knees of your jeans and then the damp crotch area. The crotch and knees feel different; it makes your face scrunch up in sorrow. "Never the same," you exhale in a trembling voice.

Jungkook watches you in surprise and amusement. You tend to be closed off around him, well in the past year that he's been married to your mother at least. It makes him feel guilty to like you better drunk—extroverted.

"We'll get you new jeans then," he tries to comfort, but you only shake your head. 

"Feel it."

He sighs with a breathy chuckle and feels your jeans as you asked. He touches your pockets and then your crotch, practically cupping your heat. It's still warm with your urine and you pout at the look he gives you. You misinterpret it as disappointment, but it's a look of suppressing laughter. "Like I said, it's not a big deal. I'll wash it, okay? Your mother won't know."

You scoff and wipe your tears away. "Thank you. I-I'm very sorry, so sorry."

"Don't be. Let's go to your room," he slings his arm around your shoulder and walks you upstairs. You hold onto his waist and keep your gaze downcast. 

Your hiccups don't cease when you face the door of your bedroom. He twists the doorknob and lets you enter first. With puckered lips and tear stains on your face, you wait for him to come after you. He does, and then turns away from you. "Hand your jeans over to me, okay? I won't look."

He hears you shuffling behind him, and you don't take long to place the tainted pants in his waiting open palm. Your feet don't stay planted on the floor and you eventually land on your bed. The bathroom is right behind you, but you can't muster the energy to sit up nor open your eyes. "My underwear," you mumble with the side of your face squished against the sheets. 

At your indirect request, he cranes his neck and takes a peek at you. You're lying on your stomach and his eyes unintentionally travel to your ass. For being your step-dad, he thinks it to be okay for him to drink in this erotic sight. It isn't as if he's about to take advantage of a drunk girl, no less his step-daughter.

"You can't take them off?"

"Mm-mm," you shake your head.

He blows out a deep breath and stands before your feet. The sight of your wet panties isn't meant to be attractive, but it does get his stomach in knots. He grabs the edges of your underwear and asks you to lift your hips, which you do sluggishly. They're off within seconds and he picks up your jeans from the floor before aiming to exit. He has to get out and cleanse his mind of all his filthy thoughts from seeing your bare pussy two inches from his mouth. "Don't fall asleep before taking a shower first," he reminds with flushed cheeks and pushes the door open.

"Help me," you whine childishly before he can leave. 

He sighs your name as if exhausted—reluctant.

"Please!"

As if it's not bad enough that he got a small glimpse of your pussy, now you're asking him to give you a shower while completely naked. He's trying to be respectful by keeping his focal point at bay, but your ass is still hanging out while you're on the verge of a tantrum.

"Oh God," he mutters to himself and pinches the bridge of his nose. He gives in.

After throwing your dirty clothes in the washing machine downstairs, he returns quickly so he doesn't catch you fast asleep. Thankfully you're still awake, but not so alert.

He warns you to keep your eyes open while he fills the tub in your bathroom. There's a water bottle on your bedside table, which he tells you to drink lots from until he's back. He throws in a pink bath bomb sitting on the edge of your tub so you can hopefully relax. Never has he seen someone be in such a childlike headspace after drinking.

But childlike doesn't fit the current scenario when he's lying under your naked body in his boxers in the bathtub because you seem to be a lot clingier when drunk. You don't move a lot, which is a plus, but your butt is pressed against his crotch, which doesn't make the situation any better. 

"I'm sorry," you slur sleepily, "I really didn't mean to." He can pick up the strong scent of vodka lingering around you better in this position.

He tightens his arms around your shoulders with his hands clasped above your chest as he whispers, "Don't apologize, sweetheart. You won't remember this when you wake up, and I'll keep it a secret. Don't you worry about a thing."

"Why are you crying?" he asks softly when you start to sob again. It's a dry cry, and he's certain you don't know what you're doing yourself at this point.

"I can't do anything," you complain, "I'm so tired and-and I can't move."

He stays silent so you can comfortably babble on and on about nothing until you say, "Wash me. Please."

Jungkook lightly pecks your neck and eyes your tits before dipping his hands in the warm, pinkish water and scrubbing your shoulders. You sigh at his gentle touch, prompting him to switch to your knees. "My knees are not dirty," you grumble incoherently.

"Hm? You're not dirty?"

"I'm not dirty there."

"And you're dirty where?" He's teasing you, knowing exactly where you want to be cleaned, but that'd further agonize him with how little freedom his erection has under the tight restraints of his briefs. It wouldn't be appropriate of him to use you to get rid of it, but is it against the law to simply bathe you?

"Down," you vaguely murmur.

He can't see anything of your lower region from the courtesy of the blanket of colorful hue that the bath bomb transitioned to, which both annoys and relieves Jungkook. But his hand only listens to you as it trails down to your pelvis. "Here?"

You nod against his shoulder, and that's all the confirmation he needs to palm your vulva. You gasp and slightly jump before adjusting to the feeling of his hand. The adjustment proves to be futile when a small moan slips past your lips at his fingers grazing your labia. 

“You want me to stop?”

“No, no,” you breathe with a shake of your head. “I want to be clean, otherwise no sleep.”

“That’s right,” he chuckles and starts running his fingers down your folds. Stopping at your clit, he starts to circle the hood to thoroughly give you the cleaning you desire so much. It isn’t with any ill intentions that he gently cups your pussy and moves it up and down while you squeak out moans without shame. After a few rubs and touches, he's confident there is no more remaints of your drunk mistake. “You’re clean now, love. Want to go to bed?”

“I’m not,” you whine loudly and hold his wrist to keep his hand in place. “I’m not clean,” you cry out and he knows you’re going to start sobbing again, which you do—except your volume might risk waking your mother.

He tries to hush you, but you don’t stop with the crocodile tears. “Baby, baby, look at me,” he pulls your face by your chin, but you escape his grip easily and continue with your tantrum. “I won’t clean you if you don’t look at me.”

With your newfound defiant attitude, it's with a few huffs and puffs that you finally face him and he silences your sniveling with a press of his lips. It's not a kiss in his defence; neither of you are moving your mouths, which he appreciates now that you've gone quiet.

Now that the risk of your mother waking is taken care of, his hand is on your hidden heat again. At this point, it's easy to tell you're not worried about being clean anymore. You aren't sleepy, though you keep your eyes closed from being in this intimate proximity with Jungkook, you're in need of a climax. It's a shame that he's in a similar state as you, but if you're drunk to the point of asking your step-dad to touch you, it wouldn't be clever of him to ask you to return the favor.

Despite his clear lack of vision, Jungkook is a human anatomy professor and he finds your clit and squeezes it between two fingers easily, not to mention he's already experienced in the sex field. Your lips part into a whine and he opens his mouth to swallow your sounds as he slowly rubs your clit.

You lean into the—now labelled as—kiss needily, and he lowers his hand to poke at your entrance with his middle finger. He stupidly peeks an eye open to see if he's located it correctly, but your subtle thrust is approval enough. He cautiously shoves it inside your tightness and uses his palm to continue pleasuring your sensitive nub, grabbing your tit with his other hand to play with your nipple. 

"Oh God, hmmm," you moan against his lips and sloppily make out with him, smearing your slick saliva all over. He hums into you, unbothered by your raw affection as he thrusts his finger inside and pinches your nipple to get you to cum faster. He can't have you sobering up any time soon.

"Are you close, love?"

You murmur something in response, but it's not intelligible enough for him to understand, so he assumes you're at least getting somewhere. He quickens the pace of his thrusts, his palm against your clitoris; massages your boob more roughly and moves his mouth down to kiss your neck. As he's giving you a small love bite, your breathing turns into mere gasps with little broken moans. If he could, he would add a second finger to your pussy, but your clenching hole doesn't feel so ready when he curls his knuckle. 

You clutch onto his hair, chanting, "I'm gonna pee again, I'm gonna pee again…" 

"Try to hold it in, baby," he cuts in hoarsely without ceasing his movements. He does slow down when your legs start to shake and tremble, splashing the water as you do as he leaves calming pecks on your neck, collarbone, and a few on your lips. Not as a warning to lower your voice—your last moans are ones to savour—but to ride out your high. He has no idea if you did squirt in the tub, but he isn't going to take another shower to wash it down. He wants to feel it on his skin.

He can feel your pounding heartbeat under his hand as your body spasms and grinds on his erection. A moment of silence passes with your shaky inhales and exhales while he pets your hair. 

When he feels you calm down, he asks, "Do you feel clean now?"

"Bed."

"Alright," he whispers and kisses your cheek. Your eyes are closed and he predicts you'll be fainting soon, so he pulls the plug with ease and waits for the water to drain before pulling you up by your pits. It's a bit of a struggle because of your slippery wet skin, as well as the water weight on you, but manages to get you out and immediately throws you on the bed. He grabs a towel hanging on the bathroom door and dries you before himself.

Jungkook considers himself an honorable man most of the time, but he can't refrain from jerking off to your naked body while you doze off. Like he said, you won't remember a thing, so it'll be his little secret as he releases on your tits with a groan. He wipes off the evidence of his unorthodox actions, pecks you and your pretty little pussy before dressing you in your pajamas. 

He puts on his clothes and tucks you in before leaving your room with a quiet, "Good night, sweetheart."

All there's left to do is persuade you into doing this again while sober, because he didn't marry your wretched bitch of a mother after two months of meeting if not to have you all for himself. He doesn't mind letting you in on that one secret with time.

[manjiropie]

Hello! I really like your blog… could we have maybe some Angry, Mitsuya, Inupi and Rindou and some fluffy cuddles?

stop, you'll make me blush

:: warnings: none, just love and peace today <3

:: pairings : Souya (Angry), Mitsuya, Inupi & Rindou - aged x reader

a/n: I don't know about this but I hope you like it. I've been busy with school and shit but I love to imagine how it'd be cuddling with them (Souya was longer bc I have a special place for him in my heart, sorry sorey)

Souya.

It was a really pleasant weekend, the holidays came with a nice weather. You liked the holidays, which meant you had a break from school/work finally. However... It also meant that your two-years boyfriend, Souya, would spend the weekend working at the ramen shop he owned alongside his twin brother.

You pout helplessly as it hit five o'clock that Sunday. The previous day you'd spend with Hina, wandering around the streets and listening to her rambling about how excited she was for her wedding. You were proud of your boyfriend, of course. The shop was a success! But... You couldn't help but him there with you. Suddenly, you had an idea.

Souya would probably be worn out when he arrived home from work, so you, an exceptional girlfriend, decided to prepare him a little surprise. It wasn't going to be much because it were the last minutes, but you knew he'd like it.

You were in your most comfortable pajamas; the bed you shared with him had bowls of candy and popcorn– caramel flavored, it is his favorite. If you couldn't go out with him, you'd have your time chilling in bed then.

You awaited for him eating some candies here and there because you couldn't wait. Finally, when it already felt like ages but had only been twenty minutes, you hear the sound of keys coming from the other room. You jumped out of the bed and ran barefoot to meet him. Souya was putting down his keys when you came and embraced him from behind.

"Hi!" he greeted. It was so cute when you two started dating how you'd catch his lips turning upwards slightly whenever he saw you. It is still cute, who are you kidding? "Sorry I couldn't be with you this weekend." He apologized in a small voice.

"Oh no, no, no," you grabbed his hand and started yanking him to the bedroom. "I have something for you!" You spoke like a kid leading their parents to the living room on Christmas morning.

You turned on the bedroom lights and watched him as he squinted his eyes, adjusting to the bright light. Oh God, his messy curly blue hair reflected the amount of work he must have had... He looks so cute though, serious face with a frown, like a little kid with cotton candy hair.

"Let's watch a movie, I already chose your favorite one!" You pushed him to the bed where he sat leaned back. His face was of pure confusion, which made you giggle.

"Fruitvale Station." Souya said to himself. He loved the movie, it always made him shed some tears. You get up from the bed and turn off the lights, kissing him in the mouth briefly before sitting down and hand him the popcorn.

Despite the fact you literally shoved him into the bed and shoved the popcorn bowl onto his face, Souya appreciated it dearly! He liked to watch movies with you, unlike his twin brother, who'd ask something every five minutes, you watched the movie and he enjoyed it.

But when you look at him when the sad part of the movie comes up, you see that his eyes are drifting close and the bowl– now half empty –is almost slipping from his hands. You put the bowls aside, carefully taking the one from him. He blurts out something when you slowly pokes him on the shoulder to make him lay down.

"Uh... The movie's over?" he opens a lazy eye.

"Yes, love."

"Didn't even cry this time." he adjusts his he's don the pillow, the sound of your laugh makes him a bit more awake and all of sudden you feel two hands pulling you to his side. He lays on top of your stomach and snuggles his head down on the soft fabric of your clothes. You smile to yourself and plays with his hair.

"Sing for me?" You hear his sleepy voice.

"Sing?"

"Mhm."

You open your eyes and stare at the ceiling, that's new. You don't sing, you just hum a soft melody your grandfather used to sing for you. You hope that it'll content him and all your doubts are cleared when you listen to his soft breathing and incoherent mumbles as he hugs your waist like a plush toy.

Mitsuya.

Mitsuya is the king of cuddling, change my mind. You can't. It doesn't matter if he's had a tough day at work or it was a lazy day at home, he will look forward to cuddling you in any circumstances.

Mitsuya likes to hold you with your back on his chest. But he won't go to sleep immediately, no. You two will lay in that position (most of the times he's the big spoon, he likes holding you and you love how you feel sheltered in his arms) and will talk about your day. Mitsuya takes this moment very seriously. He wants to know about your day, what were the things you did, what did you eat, if you enjoyed it... All of it while rubbing your back/arms/waist or fiddling with your hair. He also leaves feather kisses on your shoulders.

Cuddling with him is always so good even if you're not going to sleep. Whenever he's not so busy sewing he will grant you your wishes and will lay down with you talking about all and nothing.

He likes it though, it's not like he's doing it just because you asked, he enjoys it. The proximity of you two and how he's showed you that there are other ways to love without being sexual. You love that about him.

Inui.

At first it was complicated to bring Inui to cuddle. It still is sometimes, but he is working on it.

From the very beginning you've noticed that whenever you'd be talking to him and looking him right in the eye he'd look away or turn his head away. He probably didn't his burn scar. It didn't matter how many times you'd tell him you thought it made him look tougher and cooler, he wouldn't believe you.

As you two lay down, the way you like to stay is face to face, very close. You will put a leg over his and throw an arm over his shoulders, caress his hair or trace his features.

Inui knew what he had gotten himself into, but when you two made your relationship official it became much clearer how clingy and touchy you are. He still doesn't like this much touch but he allows you because of how you'll smile until you're asleep. He likes the view so he makes an effort.

He's a pretty good listener, so you will mess with his hair and sneak some kisses here and there as you tell him whatever it's in your mind. He'll listen carefully while examining your sleepy face. You always fall sleep first and he watches you with puppy eyes.

Rindou.

Rindou is another hard case. Rindou HATES cuddling. He pretty much would rather have his own blanket and turn to the wall than sleep tangled with you. The reason to that it's because he sweats a lot. I'm not kidding. And it's not in a bad connotation, it's just that he sleeps with the blanket covering all of himself leaving out only his nose –sometimes not even the nose. He's just in a silly goofy mood every night and likes to pretend he's a butterfly in a cocoon 🤪

He will cuddle with you in the couch though, with you on top of him or in a large armchair. No talking though, he reads a lot so you can sneak into his lap and enjoy his warmth in deep silence while he reads and adjusts his glasses on his nose every seven minutes.

He likes to hold you close, and will rub whatever part of your skin that's showing. But remember, don't talk while he reads or he'll push you to the floor!

<~>

[keewriting]

Cove x MC - One Shot #7 (request)

[Read on google docs to insert your MC's name]

CONTENT WARNING: mild spooky imagery in the beginning!

The cobblestone stairs twisted up the spiral tower endlessly. Your breath was short as you struggled to navigate each gnarled step. You couldn’t see your legs, but they felt gelatinous. As much as you tried, you couldn't push your body to move faster.

The tumultuous sky loomed overhead and shifted unnaturally. Green light stretched upward from the base of the tower. The blinding rays were lifelike in their movement. You frantically turned around and caught a glimpse of the horrid Thing. It moved slowly.

The shadowy form clung to the wall of the tower. Bony, black protrusions jutted into the stone from its body. The hollow cracking sound made you nauseous. A sheer membrane shielded its face. You whipped back around to focus on climbing the tower.

The steps in front of you crumbled. The hollow cracking rang in your ears. The Thing rose from the misplaced steps. Dark clouds tumbled around your body. The membrane peeled back, revealing pale skin that clung to a contorted expression. Its mouth hung agape, allowing you to peer into the void of its maw. The hollow eye sockets began to glow green. The ghastly Thing lunged forward as the ground beneath you collapsed. You opened your mouth to scream, but you couldn’t hear your own voice.

You jolted awake in a tangle of bedsheets. Your chest felt tight and your limbs were immobile. The darkness felt heavy on your wide eyes. You heard a shuffling sound from the floor. Your heart pounded, the reality of the situation had not yet settled in. Still reeling from the nightmare, you prepared for the worst. Instead, a mess of green hair popped into view.

Cove stood up and walked to your bedside. Your heart rate slowed, but your limbs still felt stiff.

Cove: What was that?

Cove’s voice was low and hoarse.

Y/N: What?

Cove: You screamed, Y/N. Are you okay?

You blinked heavily. Your mind still felt fuzzy.

Y/N: I’m sorry… I had a nightmare.

The moonlight leaking in through your window lit up Cove’s face. His expression was soft and concerned. He placed his weight on your bed. You didn’t object, so he lifted the blanket and settled in next to you.

Body still rigid, you couldn’t scoot over to make more room for Cove. His options were to hang precariously off the edge of your bed or close the gap between your bodies. He hesitated for a moment before sliding his body closer. He propped his elbow on your pillow and tucked his other hand close to his chest.

Cove: Can I do anything to help?

Y/N: Stay here with me.

Your heart rate leveled with Cove’s presence, but you still felt shaken. You squeezed your fists, finally in control of your body. You brought your palms to your eyes and rubbed them with a low groan.

Y/N: It felt so real, Cove.

Your throat tightened while remembering the nightmare. Images of the Thing flooded your mind. Tears pricked behind your eyelids as you tried to regain control of your thoughts. You lowered your hands to your chest and took a deep breath.

Cove: Y/N…

Hearing Cove’s soft voice broke you. Your lip quivered as tears rushed down your cheeks. Cove gasped beside you. He tentatively placed his hand on yours. His palm felt hot.

Cove: I’m here, please don’t cry.

You turned toward Cove and nuzzled your face into his chest. He raised a shaky arm to cradle it behind your head.

Cove: Do you want to talk about your nightmare?

Your strained vocal cords could barely utter a reply. They faltered under your sobs, but Cove got the message. He held you in silence for a few minutes. His body felt tense. You tried to calm your breathing and relax but it was futile. Cove realized the situation was not improving.

Cove: I’ll tell you a story to distract you.

Cove waited for your nod of approval. He settled his arm under you and rested his head on your pillow. The other arm still cradled your head. He stroked your hair as he spun the tale.

Cove: This is a true story. It happened long ago, only a few miles out from this very coast. Deep under the ocean, in a bustling underwater mecca.

You closed your eyes to imagine the story, but the gaping mouth of the Thing appeared instead. Your eyes snapped open. You opted to focus on the junction between Cove’s neck and chest. The shallow dip above his clavicle rose and fell with his breathing.

Cove: The most beautiful merperson lived in an extravagant coral castle at the heart of the city. Their shining smile warmed the hearts of every fish they met.

Cove described the merperson. Every detail seemed to match your appearance and demeanor perfectly. He spoke casually, almost as if he was hoping you wouldn't catch on.

Cove: There was one lucky merman who—

You absentmindedly traced your finger over Cove's chest, causing him to stumble over his words.

Cove: The uh— the merman. He was lucky. Lucky…

Cove was flustered, but he took a deep breath and powered through. You caressed the soft, warm skin. It vibrated under his low voice.

Cove: This merman got to spend every day with his beautiful friend. Basking in the warmth of their sunny smile. He knew he was lucky, but there was always something picking at his heart.

Your face felt hot. Butterflies dancing in your stomach replaced the tightness in your chest.

Cove: The problem was, the merman didn’t know if their friend felt the same about… how much he cared for them.

Your heart lunged into your throat. The heat from your face traveled throughout your entire body. Cove’s voice continued shakily throughout his tale. The merman and his beautiful merperson went on adventures across the sea. They had an unbreakable bond even through uncertainty and adversity.

Cove’s storytelling immersed you in a fantastical realm. You listened intently and your nerves settled. Soon, your eyelids felt heavy.

Cove: In the end, the merman realized that it wasn’t simply luck. It was an indescribable magic. The most magnificent treasure in the sea.

You submitted to your sleepiness and allowed your eyelids to fall. Your mind clouded with ethereal images of a sweet love between two merpeople. As your consciousness faded, you felt Cove push the hair from your face and delicately kiss your forehead.

Cove: Sleep well, Y/N.

You blinked your eyes open to bright light and warmth. You stretched your arms and knocked into Cove’s face. You didn’t realize he fell asleep in your bed with you.

Cove: Oww…

He grumbled and swatted at you gently. His arm fell and dangled off the side of your bed. You sat up to get a better look at his face. It was rare for Cove to sleep in longer than you.

Y/N: Cooove��

You crooned, hoping to wake him. He mumbled incoherently. You extended your finger and poked his cheek. His eyes fluttered open and focused on your face. They snapped open wide.

Cove: Oh, shit—

Cove’s hand clamped over his mouth. He scurried to sit upward. You couldn’t hold in your laughter. He smiled sheepishly but maintained his distance.

Y/N: Good morning, sleeping beauty.

Cove: I’m glad to see you’re in a better mood.

His eyes softened and his body relaxed. The spot next to him looked inviting. You shifted your position and rested your head on his shoulder.

Y/N: I feel a lot better thanks to you.

Cove’s hands fidgeted in his lap. He gnawed on his lip, lost in his thoughts.

Y/N: Cove?

You moved your hand next to his and nudged his pinky with yours. He lifted it and allowed them to hook together.

Cove: I’m sorry I slept in your bed. I didn’t ask. I was going to get up but you fell asleep and then I fell asleep.

Y/N: I wanted you there.

Cove: Oh. Then... I’m not sorry.

A goofy grin spread across his red face. Your heart overflowed with affection for Cove.

Y/N: You know, I was thinking about the story you told me last night. To me, the beautiful merperson is the truly lucky one.

You sat up straight to face Cove. His eyebrows rose quizzically.

Y/N: I know from experience that having someone willing to swim across the sea for you is the best feeling in the world.

Cove’s cheeks flushed red. He leaned forward, then hesitated. Your heart swelled.

Cove: I um—

His words got cut off by your mom calling your name loudly from downstairs. You stared at each other in shock. This was one of those unapproved, in through the window sleepovers.

Y/N: Window!

You hissed urgently under your breath. Cove was already scrambling to the window when you heard footsteps climbing the stairs. You followed Cove to see him off on his journey. The footsteps grew louder. You whipped your head towards the door, then back to the window.

To your surprise, Cove’s face was inches from yours. His eyes met yours before he leaned in for a kiss. It was quick, barely a peck. He ducked out the window and made his exit without another word or glance in your direction.

You shut the window and turned around in time for your mom to knock on the door. She invited you down for breakfast. You grabbed your phone from the desk and followed. You were stuck in a daze with the feeling of Cove lingering on your lips. You worried that Cove would regret the kiss.

The phone vibrated in your hand, breaking your trance.

Cove 8:27 AM: See you later?

Y/N 8:28 AM: You know it.

You clutched the phone to your fluttering chest. Only Cove could so effortlessly ameliorate that dreadful night. The memory of the nightmare felt so small compared to the story and the kiss.

[imagine-your-love-story]

You don’t know where the thought came from. But the certainty hit you like a freight train.

Your f/o was going to leave you.

You couldn’t point to anything specific that led you to that conclusion. You just...felt it. Deep in your gut. 

How could anyone love you as much or as deeply as your f/o did? It was too good to be true. And you knew - without a shadow of a doubt - that your f/o would grow tired of you. Eventually, you would be left behind for someone who loved them better than you ever could. 

You always knew they deserved better than you anyway.

The thought wouldn’t leave you alone. Every time you looked at your f/o, every time they made you laugh, your stomach would squeeze.

You were going to miss this. You were going to miss them.

You spend weeks - maybe even months - on edge. Waiting for the other shoe to drop that you’re SURE is bound to come. Every minute of the day, you expect that moment when your f/o says, I don’t want to see you anymore.

The nerves finally culminate and you can’t breathe from the crushing weight of it all. 

It’s a picture-perfect day while you have a picnic with your f/o. The sun makes you sleepy, the food makes you satisfied. You’re laughing about something silly with your f/o - you don’t remember what, you’re just giddy and happy.

And then suddenly you’re crying and you can’t catch your breath.

Your f/o is freaking out. Even if they’re the type to be completely calm under pressure, seeing you go from laughing to crying over NOTHING is alarming.

Something is very wrong and they really don’t like seeing you upset. They’re not sure if they should touch you??? If they should hug you or give you space...????

So they sit there, staring at you, looking utterly helpless and baffled because WHAT is going ON????

“Sweetheart...did I do something wrong?”

You shake your head and insist that no, they’re perfect, they’re always perfect, they never do anything wrong...and now you’re babbling and pretty much incoherent.

Finally, your f/o manages to drag it out of you.

“You’re going to leave one day. And I’m going to miss you.”

Your f/o understands what you’re saying. But also...they don’t understand because it’s a ludicrous idea.

“Why would I want to leave you? You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

If you like hugs, your f/o welcomes you into their arms and holds you for hours.

If you don’t like touch, your f/o pats the blanket beside them and they point out shapes in the clouds and split the last cookie with you, whispering that they will always be right here, next to you.

[dismal-alien-darling]

Restless

Alcina Dimitrescu x gender neutral reader 

Bela Dimitrescu, Cassandra Dimitrescu, Daniela Dimitrescu

Summary: Can’t anyone get any sleep around here? 

Warnings/tags: restlessness, midnight snacks, a possible threat, worrying about dying, Lady D comforts you

You sighed as you once again tried to get comfortable. It’s not like sleeping in a luxurious bed cuddled up with a nine foot tall vampire wasn’t comfortable, it just so happens you were restless that night. Normally when you were having trouble falling asleep you would snuggle in close to Lady Dimitrescu. You would listen to her breathing or put a hand on her chest and the motion of her chest rising and falling would put you to sleep. Sometimes an incoherent mutter would escape the lady’s lips leaving you to chuckle. But tonight you just couldn’t seem to turn your brain off. However, there was a reason. You had overhead Lady Dimitrescu and Mother Miranda talking about a mysterious incoming threat. It’s not like you were scared per se since the girls had started teaching you how to fight the best way a human could. You were more concerned with loosing Lady Dimitrescu or one of her girls in an effort to save your life. You didn’t want to be the reason any of them died because it would rack your soul with such a deep pain. Just the thought of that made you want to be sick. You shook your head getting up and exiting the bed doing your best not to wake the lady of the house. She stirred for a moment before she began her sleeping breaths again. You slipped into your cardigan and made your way to the kitchens. Maybe some tea would help you sleep? Milk and honey? Perhaps. You reached the door to the kitchen and noticed a dim light coming from under the door frame. You furrowed your brow before pushing the door opened. 

“Daniela?” you asked as the redhead turned around a scrap piece of an organ hanging out of her mouth and her hand in a glass jar with other scraps. 

“Hi y/n,” Daniela said her words distorted by the snack in her mouth. There were a few candles lit in the kitchen giving it a dim yet cozy atmosphere. 

“Can’t sleep?” You asked folding your arms. “Something on your mind?” You probed hoping she was worried about this mysterious threat as you were. 

“Nah I’m just hungry! I haven’t eaten all day, too busy catching vermin,” Daniela said with a wicked smile as she chewed on another piece of an organ.

“I see,” you replied making your way over to the tea cabinet. 

“Are you ok?” Daniela asked noticing your demeanor.

“Oh I’m fine, just annoyed I can’t sleep is all,” you lied picking a raspberry tea from the cupboard and you started to prepare it. Daniela shrugged as she continue to snack on the bloody scraps. Voices outside the door made the two of you whip around.

“Are we late for the party?” Bela mused as she and Cassandra entered the kitchen. You and Daniela laughed.

“Nope you’re right on time,” you said as you added sugar and honey to your tea then sliding up on the counter sitting with your legs crossed. 

“You guys hungry too?” Daniela asked her sisters.

“I’m hungry Cassandra is thirsty,” Bela replied dipping her hand into the same jar Daniela was snacking out of.

“Mhmmm raspberry tea! You have the right idea y/n!” Cassandra exclaimed heading to the same cabinet you had previously. You stirred your tea. ‘Great.’ you thought. ‘None of them are restless for the same reason I am.’ Not that you wanted to girls to be worried you just needed some validation. The four of you sat on and around the island chattering lightly with the occasional laugh. You were just starting to feel more at ease and dare you say sleepy when the very recognizable footsteps of Lady Dimitrescu were heard approaching. 

“There you are draga mea!” Alcina said dipping under the doorframe. The four of you smiled up at the matriarch of the family. She surveyed the scene. “Nibbling are we?” Lady Dimitrescu asked lightly chuckling. 

“Yes honey,” you replied finishing the last of your tea. 

“I was practically famished,” Daniela said placing the jar back on the self seeing as her and Bela had had their fill. 

“Y/n and I just wanted a spot of tea,” Cassandra chimed in in an overly exaggerated English accent. Alcina laughed. 

“Oh my sweet little ones,” she said as the girls laughed but she cut her eyes to you as you placed your cup in the sink without as much as a smile. Seeing Alcina had made you start to worry again which was odd because she normally had the opposite affect on you. “All right, I think it’s time for all of us to think about sleep,” Alcina said with a yawn picking you up and holding you on her hip. The girls simply nodded in agreement each letting out a yawn. You and Alcina bid them all a good night as they swarmed away to their respective rooms. You rested your head and hands on Lady Dimitrescu’s shoulder while your outer leg swung lazily by the knee. Lady Dimitrescu didn’t ask you what was wrong while she made her way up the steps and back to your shared room but she had every intention to. She knelt under the doorframe not letting you down only taking a few strides to arrive at the bed. She sat down still holding you to her hip. You didn’t make a move to get off just staying on her side. 

“What’s wrong my dove?” Alcina asked tilting and turning her head to look at you. 

“Nothing.” 

“That was convincing.” 

“I’m fine Alci really.” 

“Again so convincing,” she said taking you in both her hands so you were now facing her. “What’s wrong drag mea? Tell me please so I can make it better.” You let out a deep sigh realizing there was no way out of this. 

“What were you and Mother Miranda talking about the other day? Should I be worried?” 

“Draga mea, there’s always threats present. Of course any lesser family wants to overthrow the four lords. Not that we must be worried but on alert. Does that make sense my love?” Alcina explained lifting your chin so you were looking at her. “Oh don’t cry Iubirea mea! No need for tears, it’s nothing serious I promise you.” Lady Dimitrescu reassured as tears now fell from your eyes. 

“I always worry when I know Mother Miranda has warned you about some looming conflict. I’m so afraid........I don’t want you or one of the girls to get hurt or....d-...die protecting me because I’m so weak and I can’t defend myself!” And with that you started to absolutely sob. You realized how much this had been eating away at you that your own sobs surprised you but it was too late to suck your tears back in so you just went with it. 

“My poor sweet y/n! It’s ok, hush hush, oh my dear y/n.” Alcina pulled you in close your tears staining her nightgown as you gripped onto it for dear life. “I would be glad to lay down my life for you and I know the girls would to.” 

“That shouldn’t matter! I should be able to defend MYSELF and the girls can only teach how to fight to a certain extent!” You were bawling now and couldn’t get any more words out. 

“Shh, draga mea, calm down, come now,” Alcina said in a steadying voice scooching back so she could lay the both of you on your sides. “Y/n!” Lady Dimitrescu said in a stern yet still comforting tone. This caused your sobs to subside enough to listen to her. “When I took you into this castle and into my life that meant something. If I die protecting you then I would have done my job. Same goes for the girls. You ARE a Dimitrescu and this family prides itself on loyalty. So I don’t want to hear you say anything of the sort ever again....understand me cel mic?” Alcina finished her tone softening again. 

“Yes...Alcina...Iubirea mea, thank you,” you sighed. She cupped your face in her hands and kissed your tears away. You allowed your body to relax and when you did you were finally ready for sleep. She pulled you close to her so your cheeks were gently pressed together. You tossed your leg over her waist and she placed a hand on your thigh while her other wrapped under you resting on your shoulder. You wrapped both of your arms around her neck resting your hands on the back of her head. You fell asleep with a sense of relief knowing your presence wasn’t a liability but a joy. 

[just-jordie-things]

Ghost

word count: 11,648 warnings: swearing, mentions of death, reader is an orphan,  summary: John B was the closest thing to family that (y/n) had left, and now he’s gone and disappeared.  Fortunately JJ’s there to help her feel whole again. based on this song ___

[ yelling at the sky, screaming at the world // baby why’d you go away?... heaven only knows where you are now ]

August 10th, 9:30 p.m (The Night Of The Disappearance of John B Routledge and Sarah Cameron)

“Unfortunately… we lost them” Officer Thomas said, hanging his head shamefully.

Pope broke down right away, Kiara at his side, comforting him with a hug and soft words.

“What do you mean you lost them?” JJ asked, jumping straight to anger.  “They’re just gone? They’re dead!?”

(y/n) stood back, glancing down at her cold hands, finding that they’ve begun to shake with the new information.  She didn’t know how to process what she was hearing.

“We don’t know for certain-” Thomas tried to explain, but JJ wasn’t having it, he lashed out completely.

“You drove them right into the storm!” He yelled, lunging for the cop, grabbing him by his shirt and shaking him violently.  “You killed them-!”

“JJ..” Kiara cried out, clutching tighter to Pope’s side as she began to quietly sob.

He released the cop with a shove, turning back to his remaining friends.  Pope pulled Kiara into his arms, crying into her hair silently.

But (y/n) was frozen in place, her expression hadn’t changed since Thomas had told them what happened.  Tears were streaming down her cheeks quickly, more and more spilling over with each passing second.  Her whole body shook, and she wrapped her arms around herself.  She wasn’t sure if it was the grief or the cold, but either way, her own embrace provided no comfort.

“(y/n/n)- sweetheart…” JJ stepped towards her, his hands outstretched for her to take if she needed, but she didn’t move.  Her eyes didn’t even meet his.

“John B…” She whimpered, her lip quivering as she sniffled.  “Sarah…”

When a sob escaped her, JJ was there in a second, grabbing onto her and holding her as tightly as he could in his arms.  She continued to sob, screaming and crying as her body finally reacted.

She thrashed in his hold, squirming and pushing at him, hands smacking at his arms and chest, trying to pry him off of her, even though deep down all she craved was to be held, comforted.

“It’s not fair! It’s not fair,” She was screaming, drawing the attention of the surrounding officers, as well as the Carreras and the Heywards who had shown up to comfort their children.

But (y/n) had no one to show up for her, they were all dead.

“It’s not fair- It's not fair it’s not fair” She continued to cry against JJ, until her knees gave out and she crumpled to the ground.  

The blonde boy followed with her, gathering her back in his arms no matter how much she fought and pushed him away.

But eventually her body tired out, and she gave in.  He could feel her slump into his shoulder as she rested all of her weight on him.  His own tears soaked into her hair and tee shirt as he dropped his face to her own shoulder.

“Not fair” She mumbled, on repeat, until her crying made her too incoherent to understand.  

He didn’t know what to say, he didn’t know what to do, he’d never seen (y/n) like this before, much less how you were supposed to react when your best friend, and your kinda new friend, were lost at sea.

“I’ve got you,” He said instead, knowing that there were no magic words to heal her.  “I’m here, I’ve got you”

They didn’t fix everything, but they seemed to do the trick, because she finally wrapped her arms around his shoulders, her hands fisting into the material of his shirt as she clutched onto him with the same intensity that he held her with.

They spent hours in that tent, long after Pope and Kiara’s parents took them home, they were still there.  Technically they were supposed to wait for a parent or guardian to pick them up.  But JJ’s father was a coked up piece of shit, and (y/n’s) parents were six feet underground.

She didn’t push him away again.  She spent the whole night in his arms, clinging onto him with an iron grip.  And ever since that night, she hasn’t really let go of him. ___

[ how do i love? how do i trust again? ]

September 10th, 3:00 a.m (One Month After The Disappearance of John B Routledge and Sarah Cameron)

“Wake up, (y/n/n), wake up”

The girl gasped for air as her eyes flew open, and as quickly as she’d woken up, she settled back into her pillow, eyes falling shut again as she let out a sign.

“I was doing it again, wasn’t I?” She muttered, squeezing her eyes shut tight as she tried not to cry, and tried not to remember the vivid details of her nightmare.

Which was more of a traumatic memory than a nightmare, really.

JJ, who was lying next to her, was quiet as he gazed down at her, watching her calm herself down as best she could.  He always gave her the space to relax on her own before stepping in.  He wanted her to know that she was capable of recovering on her own, but that he would still be there for her as soon as she needed him.

After a few deep breaths, the girl rolled onto her side, her face colliding with his chest as she continued her steady breathing.

“Will you hold my hand?” She mumbled, and he simply nodded, reaching for her trembling fingers, and gently slotting his fingers through hers.  She continued to tap her index finger over the back of his hand at a rapid pace.

She did this for a minute or two before speaking again.

“I’m sorry”

“Don’t be sorry, baby, it’s alright,” He murmured to her softly, followed by a kiss to her forehead.  “I’ve got you”

A small choked sound came from her as tears threatened to well up in her eyes again.

She’d spent the last month in bed with him like this.  No matter how much time passed, and no matter how much her grief started to melt away and she began her coping process, she’d still wake up in the middle of the night from awful nightmares.

She hadn’t planned on being a regular guest in JJ’s bed at the Chateau, but she also didn’t have anywhere else to go.  She didn’t have a place of her own, she’d lived at the Chateau since she was six and John Routledge had taken her in.

She was just a child when her parents got into a freak boating accident and died at sea.  She hadn’t understood why she was put in the system, or why she couldn’t go home to her mom and dad.  But for some reason, her friend John B had gotten his dad to take her in, and after a day or two of moving in, she’d understood.

John and John B were her family now.

But then a year ago, John Routledge was declared lost at sea, and it was just her and John B.  It was hard, since he was pretty much the only father she’d ever known, and since he was announced dead, in the same way her parents had been.  At least she still had John B, who was a brother to her.

Fate had a sick sense of humor though, sending him off into a storm, likely killing him.

And she ended up losing him, too.

JJ’s free hand smoothed over her back, caressing her hair, and then rubbing circles over her back again.  He always did his best to comfort her in any way she needed.  And it had been a month of waking up with her to her nightmares, so he always knew just what to do.

“Can we go stay in his room?” She asked quietly.

That was a new request that JJ hadn’t been expecting, but nonetheless, he nodded, and helped her to sit up.  He reached his hands out for her, offering to help her get out of bed, but she limply hung her arms in the air, silently asking him to carry her.

“Alright, you big baby,” He teased in a tired murmur, and leaned over to wrap his arms around her torso, picking her up and pulling her into his chest.

Her legs instinctively wrapped around his hips, and her head laid down on his shoulder.  Had she not been so shaken up, she could have fallen right back asleep.

“But I’m only doing this cause you’re so damn cute” He told her as his hands shifted to hold her from under her legs, and he carefully made his way through the dark to get to John B’s room.

The flirty comment provoked a small and sleepy laugh from the girl.  It wasn’t much, but it was something, and it provided a certain comfort to JJ.  it had been a while since she truly laughed.  He missed the sound dearly.

(y/n) had spent some time in John B’s room during the long summer days.  But she’d never spent the night in it.

JJ would often find her in there, cleaning up, reorganizing his book shelf, playing his CD’s, feeding the fish he’d won at a carnival a year ago that was miraculously still alive- she’d do anything and everything to spend time in there.  To her, it was all that was left of him.

JJ had even caught her putting on his clothes, worn tee shirts, strangely-patterned button downs, sweaters that were too big for her- but she always took them off before anyone could see.  JJ pretended not to notice, and never said anything.  Both because he didn’t want her to feel embarrassed, but also because sometimes when she spent all of her time in that room, he’d feel just the tiniest amount of jealousy, and it made him feel ashamed.

[ i stay up all night, tell myself i’m alright // baby you’re just harder to see than most ]

“Alright, here we go, baby,” He said as he delicately set her down on the mattress.

(y/n) visibly deflated as she melted into the cool sheets.  Her limbs were still wrapped around JJ’s figure, so she pulled him down with her as she got situated, but he didn’t mind.

With great caution, he slipped out of her hold just enough to lay at her side, so that he wouldn’t pass out on top of her.

He watched as she seemingly relaxed for the night, finally.  She pressed her face deep into the pillow her head was under, taking in a deep breath, the lingering smell of cologne and the beach and something that was distinctly John B flooding her senses.

“It still smells like him” She murmured.  She doesn’t sound like she’s going to cry again, but JJ keeps a watchful eye on her, just in case.

When she exhaled, she opened her eyes, meeting his gaze.  He gave her a small smile, which she faintly returned before moving in closer to him.

“Thank you” She whispered as her forehead touched his gently.

His arms wrapped around the small of her back, pulling her into him completely.  And then he kissed her forehead again, and then her nose, before tucking her head against his chest, just under his chin.

She tended to lean her ear against his chest, using the steady beat of his heart to lure her to sleep.

“You don’t have to thank me, sweetheart” He told her, like he had a million times before.

“I know, you always say that,” (y/n) murmured, lips brushing over his neck as she spoke.  “But I mean it anyways.  Thank you, Jay”

Her hand finds a comfortable place to rest just over his heart, and soon she’s drifting back to a seemingly peaceful sleep.  JJ just hopes she makes it through the night.

He lets his hand brush through her hair, untangling the locks until his fingers can run perfectly smooth through it.  He does this until he falls asleep. ___

[ i put the record on, wait till i hear our song // every night i’m dancing with your ghost ]

July 4th, 10:00 p.m (A Month Before The Disappearance of John B Routledge and Sarah Cameron)

Neither of them had made a move yet, but they both knew all too well that there was something between them.  Something fiery and exciting, something soft and intimate.

JJ always flirted with (y/n), long before he realized he actually had feelings for one of his closest Pogue friends.  They’d been friends since they were kids, and they’d technically been living together for the past few months, but only recently had it dawned on him that he was falling in love with her, and it was happening fast.

“As flattering as I find your staring, you look very zoned out,” Her voice drew him from his thoughts, and he found himself grinning as (y/n) walked up to him, beer in hand.

John B and Pope had thrown a Fourth of July kegger, and it was probably the craziest party they’d had in years.  Tourons and Kooks had shown up from all over the island, and every kid on The Cut made an appearance that night.

A couple of Kooks had even brought in their own kegs to help supply the party with enough beer.

But despite all the people here, all the hot Tourons to be exact, JJ had been content that (y/n) had approached him, with her sweet smile and revealing bikini.

“What’s goin’ through that pretty head of yours, hm?” She asked, only half teasing.

All summed had been like this.  The flirting intensified, and they both stopped pursuing one night stands with the Tourons that came to these things.

“Absolutely nothing,” JJ grinned back at her, and she laughed, believing him.  “Where you been all night? Fighting off all these guys I hope?” He asked, half joking.

Coincidentally, a group of basic white tourist boys walked past, one of them letting out a low whistle as their eyes wandered over (y/n’s) figure.

JJ scowled at him, stepping forward threateningly, one of his arms instinctively wrapping around the girl’s waist as he glared down the Touron until he cowered away.

“Wow,” (y/n) chuckled, one of her hands pressing against JJ’s chest, but she didn’t push him away, so he didn’t move.  “You made your point tough guy, jesus,” She said, raising her brows at him.  “Jealous much?”

“Me? Jealous?” He asked with a scoff, to which (y/n) mimicked the sound.

“That’s real hot coming from the most jealous and pissed off guy in the OBX” She teased with a growing smirk on her lips.

“Well, sure, but I’m not jealous of that guy,” JJ told her, gesturing at the lame Touron who was miserably failing at shotgunning a beer.

But as he watched the idiot with an amused grin, (y/n) just smiled up at the blonde boy, admiring his side profile for a moment.

Unlike most stories of friends who became lovers, where they weren’t sure when their friendship blossomed into something more, (y/n) knew exactly when she fell for JJ.

It had been last summer.  They’d been on the HMS Pogue on a fishing trip, and while she’d never been fishing before, she was eager to let JJ and Pope teach her how.  When she caught her first fish, JJ had cheered, but he could tell that it made her sad to throw it in the cooler.  So he told her it was alright if she wanted to throw it back.  He showed her how to carefully take the fish off the lure so it wouldn’t be as hurt, and let her throw it back in the water.

He must have felt her staring, because suddenly he was turning back to her, his eyes locking on hers instantly.

“Look who’s starin’ now” He teased, his fingers brushing against her hips in an attempt at tickling her.

She giggled and wiggled a bit, but she still didn’t pull away from him.

They were very close, so close that if JJ hadn’t been wearing his hat backwards, then its brim would have been bumping into her forehead.  So close, that she could just faintly feel his warm breath hitting the bridge of her nose.  So close, that it would be so easy to kiss him right now.

Curiously, her eyes wandered down to his lips, pink and inviting, begging to be kissed, she thought.  No wonder girls would throw themselves at him, he had the most perfect looking pair of lips.

Of course, before she could decide if it was worth it to throw reason (and the only Pogue rule) out the window, Rafe and Topper were causing trouble somewhere on the beach, and soon JJ was peeling himself away from her and racing off towards the conflict.

He was always there to end it, never one to shy away from a fight.  (y/n) had come to terms with that a long time ago, knowing it was something she’d never be able to change.

But looking back on it, if he hadn’t left her to get his ass kicked by Rafe Cameron, then they probably would have crossed that line between friendship and something more that very night. ___

[ Never got a chance to say a last goodbye ]

September 15th, 9:45 a.m (Two Months After The Disappearance of John B Routledge and Sarah Cameron)

The sun was unrelenting as it shined in through the window, forcing (y/n) to wake up despite her longing to sleep in bed all day.  It wouldn’t be the first time that she refused to get out of bed.

But she told herself that she should.  The sun was telling her that she should.  Even if she did manage to close her eyes and ignore the brightness streaming into the room, she knew she wouldn’t sleep comfortably.

Today, she was going to get up and make herself breakfast.  That felt like a good start for taking care of herself today.

She rolled over with a groan, in an attempt to reach for JJ to see if he was awake.  Some mornings he would wake up before her and she’d find him laying there on his phone, but sometimes he would just peacefully lay there as he waited for her to wake up.

However, as she lazily slung her hand towards the other side of the bed, she only ended up hitting pillows.  And suddenly the easy morning started to turn upside down.

Don’t freak out, she told herself, even as she scurried out of bed.  

Don’t panic, it’s fine, he’s probably just watching tv in the living room.  

As she was about to run out of the room, she decided at the last second it was probably best to throw on a pair of shorts.  The large tee shirt she well fell just past all of her curves, but it would be embarrassing if she ran through the Chateau in front of Pope and Kiara in a worried panic without pants on.

Or maybe he’s making breakfast, like that one time he brought you breakfast in bed, that was really sweet.

None of the calming ideas that crossed her mind actually calmed her, as she searched through the living room, there was no sign of JJ.  The kitchen was empty, the bathroom door was hung ajar, and also empty.

There was a logical explanation for him not being here, deep down she knew that, but then why didn’t he leave a note? Or wake her to let her know he’d be leaving? Why would he leave without saying anything at all? Didn’t he know that this was her worst fear come to life, again?

Panic took over, and next thing she knew she couldn’t take in enough air as her throat closed up and her legs stopped working.  She stood in the living room for a solid minute, hands glued to her head, fists tugging on her hair tightly in a terrible attempt to ground herself to the moment and not spiral any further.

But her heavy breaths turned to sobs and she didn’t know she was crying until she felt the tears on her cheeks.

There’s a logical explanation, there’s a logical explanation, she repeated in her head like a mantra, hoping to god that she’d start believing it soon.

Slowly, she crouched down on the floor, because sometimes when she had panic attacks she got dizzy so it was better to sit down now.

Or maybe he went boating with Pope, they like to fish early in the morning, she thought.  Maybe they hit something, the marsh is always changing with the weather.  Maybe the boat capsized, maybe they drowned to their deaths-

No! Don’t think that!

The sobbing got worse as she assumed the worst, taking in gasping breaths of air, desperate to fill her lungs that felt like they were about to collapse.

Maybe they went into town to pick up breakfast.  Maye they got stopped by Kooks, or Barry, maybe they were murdered in cold blood-

The girl whimpered, trying to ward off the horrific images rolling through her mind, but as terrible as they were, she reminded herself that these weren’t unrealistic worries, that these things had happened before, and would happen again.

He promised me he wouldn’t get on a fucking boat, he promised me he’d start biking around the island, she told herself.  JJ wouldn’t break a promise to her, especially that one, but the anxiety inside of her was still whispering into her ear, telling her that all of her friends very well could have been gone forever.

Maybe he just left.  Maybe he got sick and tired of waiting around.  Maybe he was just being a nice guy the last two months.  Maybe he didn’t care anymore.  Maybe he didn’t miss John B or Sarah.  Maybe he finally fled for the mainland like he’s been talking about since he was a kid.  Maybe he’s with a girl.  Maybe he didn’t care about you anymore.

Her hands covered her face, wishing that she could just stop and focus on something else, calm her breathing.  She wanted to run out of the Chateau and go looking around the island, but she remained frozen on the floor.

“(y/n)?” A voice called, and she could faintly hear the screen door swinging open and then shut.  “Woah, hey, (y/n/n)”

Through blurry eyes, she could just barely make out Pope’s figure, kneeling in front of her.

Pope, Pope is here, she thought to herself, and it sort of helped relax her.  You’re not alone, Pope is here.

She shakily reached her hands out to him, grabbing onto his forearms and anchoring herself to him.

He’s real, he’s right here.  His hands are holding your elbows, he’s real.

“Breathe, (y/n), deep breaths, you can do it,” His initially stressed voice calmed when he realized that she was having a panic attack.  He’d seen her have them once or twice before, but it was always JJ who rushed in and helped her out of them.  “Copy my breathing, can you do that?” He asked.

She nodded her head, eyes meeting his as he took in a long and deep breath, held it for three seconds, and then slowly let it out.  He kept on repeating that action until her exhales weren’t shaky, and her body relaxed.

“There you go, you’ve got it, you’re alright…” He said smoothly.

His thumbs caressed over her arms gently, reminding her silently that he was there for her, that he cared about her.

“You want to talk about it?” He offered, and (y/n) shut her eyes tightly, willing the rest of her tears to dry up.

“I- I woke up and- and-”

When she began to stutter, Pope hushed her soothingly, and helped her through another breathing exercise.

“Okay, now try again,” He said softly, once her breaths evened out again.  “Slowly”

“I woke up,” She said, slowly, and then exhaled.  “And JJ wasn’t there- and then he wasn’t out here-”

When the rambling began again, she breathed in deeply again.

“It’s alright, he’s right outside,” Pope told her, relieved that the problem had an easy solution..  “You want to go out and see him?”

(y/n) nods back at him, and he helps her stand.

“Kie and I came over this morning, we brought donuts,” He said, hugging her into his side.  “We were just on the porch, Jay said you were asleep”

Pope opened the front door for her, as they went onto the porch, and her entire body relaxed as her eyes landed on JJ.

He was sitting on the beat up sofa that had been out there since forever, while Kiara was leaning against the citing of the house, a blunt between her fingers.

JJ smiled as (y/n) came out with Pope, tucked into his side the way a child clings to their mother at large events.

“Morning baby,” He calls to her, and pats the space next to him on the couch, before resting his arm over the back of the cushions.  

In no time she peels away from Pope and is sliding into the space under his arm, her side and her legs pressed up against him.  It feels like that first sip of coffee in the morning, and she forgets about the anxiety attack she’d had just moments ago.

He eyes the way she’s twirling the ring around her thumb, almost obsessively.  She hasn’t taken it off since he’d given it to her, and he doesn’t think she ever will.

“You hungry? Kie and Pope brought donuts” He offered, gesturing to the box on the decorative table Kiara was standing next to.

“Maybe in a little bit” She mumbled, her head falling against his shoulder as she let herself feel relieved.

Some days it was hard to feel content with being content.  But JJ was a huge help with that.  His presence alone was enough to calm her, that much was obvious.

He’s a little thrown off, but wraps his arm around her nonetheless.  His rings are a chill on her hot skin, but it’s somehow comforting.

Panic attack, Pope mouths when the blonde boy looks to him, silently asking what happened.

JJ nods discreetly, before glancing down at the girl under his arm.

“How are you feeling?” He asked softly.

Kiara and Pope pretended to argue over the last chocolate sprinkled donut, so that they had a little bit of privacy between them.

“Fine, now,” She whispers back.

Her fingers aimlessly play with the chain around his neck.

“I- I had a panic attack” She admits.

“What happened, sweetheart?” He asked as the tips of his fingers grazed up and down her arm.

She lifts her head to look at him properly, her fingers still twirling his necklace around her fingers.

“Um… you just… you weren't inside…”

It felt embarrassing to admit that something as simple as that had set her off.  When she was in the moment it was a lot more terrifying.  But JJ made sure she wasn’t ashamed of that feeling.

“Well, I’m right here,” He told her with a grin.  “You know you can’t get rid of me that easy” He added, hugging her tight against him and kissing the top of her head.

She always went pink when he did that, that’s why he did it more often than he used to.

“I know,” She mumbled back.  “I just… you know…”

She doesn’t know what she wants to say.  That she’s scared to lose him too? That he’s the only anchor she had left? The only remnants of family she had left? That she loved him more than words could describe?

Whatever she had planned on filling the blank with, JJ seemed to understand her perfectly.  He’d gotten really good at understanding what she was trying to say in between the words she was actually saying.

“I know, baby,” He says softly.

Her head falls back onto his shoulder.  Selfishly, she wished that she could sit here with him like this every day.  Maybe then she'll start to really feel better.

Meanwhile there’s a nagging feeling in JJ’s chest.  Worry, fear, something terrible that began to manifest.  An anxiousness that (y/n) won’t emotionally recover from the disappearance of their friends.

He knew grief took time, that learning to cope took time.  But she’d already had to face those things time and time again, what if this was it? What if this was the last straw, and she gave into them?

His arm around her tightened a little, and (y/n) hummed as she nuzzled her face into the crook of his neck.  She placed a little kiss there before sighing.

“Thanks, Jay,” She mumbles.  “You always know just what I need”

He doesn’t say anything, just smiles and rubs her arm comfortingly.

Despite her words, he still worries on the inside. ___

[ i gotta move on, but it hurts to try ]

August 10th, 1:00 a.m (The Night Of The Disappearance of John B Routledge and Sarah Cameron)

(y/n) and JJ had been stuck under police supervision for the last three and a half hours, sitting under the large tents, listening to the heavy rainfall while passing officers would offer their condolences.

It was all bullshit though, and it was starting to piss (y/n) off.

But finally they were allowed to go home, and were escorted to the Chateau.  Which is where they stood now.

(y/n) looked like she was glued to the floorboards of the porch, frozen in place like a statue.  The wind whipped at her hair and the rain still hit them even as they stood under the little roof over them.

“Come on, let’s go inside,” JJ said, reaching out to take her hand, but even as he tugs, she hardly moves.  “(y/n)-”

“I don’t want to,” She mumbles, eyes trained on the front door.

A part of her longed to see John B appear, open the door with a laugh and scold the pair for standing outside in the rain.  The harder she looks, the more she wishes to see him there.

“But I don’t have anywhere else to go” She whimpered, finally tearing her eyes away from the door to look at him.

JJ steps forward, his arm wrapping around her back as he slowly guides her inside.  Her feet shuffle along, but they barely lift off the ground, and she’s barely moving.  He’s just glad to get her inside and out of the rain.

“I just don’t want you to catch a cold, sweetheart” He told her, which was true, but he just needed to say anything to get her to come into the house.  He didn’t know what he’d do if she refused.

“I don’t care” She mumbled, but she was already standing at the inside of the doorway.

“Shoes off,” JJ told her, having already left his shoes at the door and was heading into the house.  “You know how JB feels about shoes in the house”

(y/n) nods, shakily, and starts to kick off her shoes

But now all she can think about is the first time she’d accidentally tracked mud into the house, and how funny it was when John B freaked out.  Thinking about it now, it was just sad.

When JJ came back in the room, she was crying again, silently, she might not have even been aware she was doing it.  She was untying the laces on her boots as tears spilled over her cheeks.

“Come on,” He spoke, and suddenly there was a towel wrapped around her shoulders.  “Let’s go get you cleaned up, okay?”

“No,” She mumbled.  “I just want to lay down”

Her hands gripped onto the fluffy towel almost violently, her knuckles were white, and her hands shook from the force.  JJ noticed.

“And you will, but you’ve got to shower first,” He said.  “Look at you, you’re soaked to the bone from the rain-”

“JJ-”

“No arguments, lets go” He replied, quiet and calm as ever.

She gave in, mostly because he didn’t have the energy to argue with him.  And then she was back to shuffling along with him to the bathroom.

She stood uselessly at the door while he turned the shower on for her.

“How hot do you want it?” He asked, one hand on the noz and the other under the stream of water

She shrugged, mumbled incoherently.

“You’ve got to speak up, honey” JJ said.

“I don’t care” She mumbled a little louder, wrapping her arms around herself.

“Yeah you do, I’ll put it on hot” He answered for her, and adjusted the nozzle accordingly.

But as he turned back, about to leave the room, she didn’t bother to move.  Her eyes were downcast, and her hands had released the towel only to wring her hands together.

“Hey, I’ll be in my room, you can-”

“Wait-”

She grabbed his wrist before he could leave the room, and her glossy eyes met his, her mouth opened but no words came out, so she closed it again.  He waited until she could find the right words.

“Please- please don’t leave me in here-”

Her breathing grew ragged and the tears started to fall from her eyelashes, and JJ nodded at her, silently confirming he'd stay so she would feel safe.

“Okay, okay, I’ll stay right here,” He told her, both of his hands wrapping around hers.  “I’ll wait right in here for you, alright?”

She nods, still a bit shaky, but she turns towards the shower and slowly works on taking off her clothes, so he thinks he’s doing the right thing.

In all honesty, he had no idea what the right thing to do was.  As he turned his back to her and stressfully ran his hands through her hair, he didn’t know what to say or do, what the right way to comfort someone was.

He knew that Kiara and Pope were at home with their families, probably hugging, telling each other they love each other, the kind of shit you see in movies.

But you didn’t see this part of the movie.  The part where the girl you love is going borderline catanoic as she stands in the shower, limbs heavy and heart shattered.

Was he supposed to talk to her? Offer what few comforting words he knew how to say? Was he supposed to tell her he was there for her, that he loved her and he would never leave her? Was that an overload of information?

“JJ?” (y/n) called from the other side of the shower curtain.

“I’m here” He said, sitting on the toilet seat so he’d be right next to her.

She peeled back the curtain, just enough to peek her head out, and then held her hand out to him.  A slight frown tugged on his lips, but he reached his hand out to hers anyways, softly clasping onto it, as though if he’d put any pressure into holding it, then she’d break like a porcelain doll.

She closed the curtain again and went about her shower.  It wasn’t a bother with only one hand, but JJ could still hear her soft whimpers from inside.

After ten minutes she turned off the water.

“Close your eyes” She directed, her voice was still a mumble, but without the noise of the water running JJ heard her clearly, and followed her order.

Her hand let go of his as she grabbed her towel and wrapped it around herself, but it was only briefly, as she was grabbing onto it again as soon as she was covered up.  She gave it a small squeeze to let him know that she was decent.

When he looked up at her, she was staring down at their hands, focused on the rings on his fingers.

The one on his thumb, she had given to him.  Not for a special occasion, she’d just found it in a shop and thought it would look fitting and cool on him.  

She was right.  

He never took it off.

There was another ring on his middle finger, that one was from John B.  He’d swiped it from a second hand shop because it had a neat but very faint engraving of a snake around it.  He’d originally stolen it for himself, but it hadn’t fit right, so he handed it off to JJ.

(y/n) ran the pad of her thumb over the engraving now.  The snake wasn’t very visible, but she could still feel it.

JJ squeezed her hand, drawing her eyes back to his.

She wasn’t whimpering anymore, but the tears hadn’t stopped.  She had to be exhausted.

“I’ve gotta take a shower baby,” He said softly.  “You want to go to bed?”

She shook her head, looking back at his rings.

“You want to wait in here?” He asked.

With a small nod from her, he stood up, pressing a quick and gentle kiss to the crown of her head before turning the water and going through the same routine again.

It took some time as he showered and (y/n) waited for him on the toilet.  When he’d finished and gotten out to find that she was still wrapped in her towel, he’d convinced her to let him help her change into pajamas.

When she’d finished, she wrapped her arms around his neck, stepping forward and hugging him gently, with little to no force at all.

“Alright, let’s get you to bed” JJ said, lifting her up with ease, one arm hooked under her legs and the other.

“You’ll stay, right?” She asks meekly as he brings her to his room.

“Of course” He hums back.

They get situated under the covers, and finally (y/n’s) tears seem to stop.  JJ doesn’t keep his hopes up, though.

He pulls her head to his chest, one arm wrapping around her back at his other hand takes a hold of hers.  For good measure, she hooks her leg over one of his, just to be sure she won’t roll away from him in her sleep.

“You won’t leave?” She murmurs.

The exhaustion and the misery that her body is facing is clear to him as she tilts her head back to look at him.

He gives her a small smile, before letting go of her hand, so that he can take the ring off of his middle finger.  He takes her hand again, and slides it over her thumb.  It’s a little loose, enough that she can twirl it around with ease.

“Now you can have a little bit of both of us with you,” JJ says to her.  “I’m not goin’ anywhere”

She doesn’t quite smile, but her expression relaxes as she looks at him, and he takes it as a good sign.

“I’ve got you, baby” He tells her softly as she settles against him, sleep finally starting to overcome her.

“I can’t lose you too” She tells him right before her body gives out. ___

[ how do i love? how do i trust again? ]

November 10th, 6:30 p.m (Precisely Three Months After The Disappearance of John B Routledge and Sarah Cameron)

(y/n) had been sitting on the couch all afternoon, replaying the day’s events in her head like a flashback scene in a movie.

She’d woken up with JJ, they made breakfast and went on a walk, avoiding the beach.  They went to visit Kiara at The Wreck with Pope, and then went back to the Chateau to do some chores.

(y/n) liked to keep the place tidy and clean.  It gave her something to do, and deep down, she knew that if John B came home, he’d be happy to see everything was just how he left it.  If not a little more organized thanks to her.

And then they’d gotten the call from the Sheriff’s Department.

JJ came into the room, a glass of water in one hand and a bottle of advil in the other.

“Here” He said, handing them both to her.

“I don’t need it, my head doesn’t hurt” (y/n) replied quietly, barely even looking at him.

“Not now, but from the look on your face I can tell it’s going to soon.  Just take it now, please” JJ said, holding out the cup and bottle towards her again.

(y/n) gave in, knowing he was right, and there was no use in arguing with him because he’d only bother her until she just took the pill.

JJ sat down next to her as she swallowed down the medicine, along with a few more drinks of water.  She hadn’t realized how thirsty she was, and suddenly wondered how long she’d been sitting there.

“Where do you think they are?” JJ asked out of nowhere, and she turned to him.

“What?” She asked, voice barely above a mumble.

“John B and Sarah,” He said their names so easily, so casually her heart clenched.  

She almost never spoke their names.  And when she did, she was usually in a fit of tears.

“Where do you think they are?” JJ repeated his question.

(y/n’s) mouth opened, then closed.  And then open and closed again.  She didn’t understand what he was asking.

JJ could tell, and he sat back to stretch out on the soda, his legs kicking out as his back leaned against the arm rest.  (y/n) turned her body to look at him properly, but didn’t crawl into his arms like he’d expected.  She was too confused trying to comprehend what he was saying.

“I think they’re in Florida,” JJ thought aloud, realizing (y/n) wasn’t going to entertain the question.  “And I think they got married”

“Married?” She mumbled, blinking at him.  “You think they’re... alive?”

“Of course,” JJ said, as sincerely as he could.  “Don’t you?”

She doesn’t answer, but she doesn’t have to.

“There’s no way they aren’t.  John B’s a pretty tough guy, and Sarah’s the most stubborn person I’ve ever met.  More stubborn than you” He spoke with such ease, it threw (y/n) off.  

His knee knocked against her side, and he held his hand out to her, beckoning her to lay with him.

Warily, she leaned forward, crawling into the space between his legs, and then flipping over to rest back against his chest.  JJ’s arms wrapped around her middle naturally, and he continued to let his thoughts roam free.

“Do you think they’ve got some new treasure hunt going down there?” He whispered into her ear.

“Yes” (y/n) replied, finally giving in to the conspiracy.

“Yeah?” JJ asked, glad that was entertained by the idea, and hopefully comforted too.

“Yeah… I’ll bet… I’ll bet they’re tracking more gold… or… or jewels… or something”

JJ smiled at how hard she tried to let herself get used to the idea.  He knew how badly she wanted to move on, and how she felt stuck in the past.  This was a significant step forward, and he was more proud of her than he let on.  He just didn’t want her to think he pitied her.

“They’re probably filthy rich by now,” JJ told her.  “She’s probably turned him full Kook”

“In a good way,” (y/n) spoke, her smile shining through her words.  “He was so…”

“Whipped” JJ muttered.

“In love,” (y/n) corrected with a soft exhale.  “They only had a week together before they… left,” She said carefully.  “And I… I’ve known John B my whole life and he’d never looked at anyone the way he looked at Sarah”

From where her head laid on his chest, JJ couldn’t see well, but he just knew that she was smiling as she spoke, reminiscing in the good memories.

“So you think they got married when they got to Florida?” JJ asked, speaking it like it was a truth.

“Yeah, I think they just might have,” (y/n) said.  She thought for a moment, and then let out a small giggle.

He was surprised by the sound, especially when it erupted into more joyous laughter.

“You know,” She ponders aloud, “I think that when they got wherever they were headed, and realized they were safe and alive, he proposed to her right then”

“Yeah?” JJ asked, amused, and revelling in the sound of her laughter.  

He had missed the sound so much, he’d worried he’d never hear it again.  He closed his eyes as he listened to her soft giggles, and melted at the way her back slightly shook against his chest.

“Yeah,” (y/n) confirmed, and one of her hands reached for his that lied on her stomach.  “It probably wasn’t romantic at all.  He probably didn’t even get on one knee”

“You’re so right,” JJ laughed with her.  “He probably was just like ‘we should get married’ and Sarah was like ‘oh John B, i love you!’ And-”

(y/n) burst into laughter at JJ’s high pitched impression of Sarah.  It didn’t sound like her, it didn’t even sound like any girl, but it made her belly laugh, and she sat up slightly so she could turn to look at him.

“Why are you laughing at me? That was a spot on impression” He told her.

“No, it wasn’t,” (y/n) said, shaking her head as she looked down at him.

There were crinkles at her eyes and her lips were pulled into the widest smile he’d seen from her in months.

He had convinced himself that he wasn’t 100% sure what love felt like, but right now it felt like his heart might just burst because of it.

He hadn’t just missed her laugh.  He’d missed her.

“It’s almost like you have no idea what a woman sounds like- but Jay, you’ve been living with one for like three years now- what?” (y/n) had cut herself off from her teasing when she saw the way he was staring at her.

He looked sad, but he was smiling, so she didn’t know what to think.  Usually she could read him pretty well, but she’d never seen this look before.

“What?” She asked again.  “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“No reason, I just…”

JJ sits up, trying to find the right words as he instinctively grabs a hold of her.  She turns to face him again, her legs hooking behind him as she waits for him to continue.

“I’m just thinking” He finishes.

“Well that’s dangerous,” She replies, the banter coming as naturally as it used to.  She lets out a little snort of a laugh as she smiles at him.  “What about?”

JJ’s hands smooth around her hips, the way they did earlier when they’d gotten the call from Officer Thomas himself, but now it wasn’t to comfort, it was simply because he could.

“You ever think about what would have happened if we never went on that treasure hunt?” He asked, quietly, like he was trying not to upset her.

She goes still, but she doesn’t push him away, and she doesn’t choke up.

“All the time” She murmurs back.

Her voice comes out through a quiet exhale, and if he wasn’t so close, he might not have heard it.  But in the last three months his ears had been practically trained to hear her every breath, and catch on to every mumble.

“Really?” He asked, and she nodded, her bottom lip tucking in between her teeth as she looked back at him.

“Of course,” She quietly replied.  “How else do you think I keep sane during all the quiet moments?”

It’s a sweet thing to say, paired with a soft smile that JJ felt relieved to see.

“Well then what do you think we’d be doing right now?”

“Something stupid,” She answered right away, followed by a small laugh.  “Something sketchy.  That’s all we ever did”

“We fished too, fishing’s legal.  And surfing, that’s legal too”

“That’s fair,” (y/n) hummed.  “Kie and Sarah would’ve gotten along better,” She added.  “It would’ve been nice to have a girls day”

“I’ll have a girls day with you” JJ told her, making her laugh again.

“I know you would,” She said, setting her hands on his shoulders.  “But it’s not the same”

JJ shrugged.

“You can braid my hair and put makeup on me, what else do you do on a girls day?” He asked, and again, she giggled.

He hoped he could keep making her laugh.

“What do you think we’d be up to?” She asked once the laughter subsided and she was left staring into those baby blue eyes again.

“Macking”

The laughter bubbled back over, her hands swatting at his shoulders as she threw her head back.

“Well you don’t have to laugh that much,” JJ said, brows furrowed as he pouted.  “It’s true, we would be”

“Maybe,” (y/n) corrected.  “If you’d ever actually made a move, maybe”

“What do you mean ever actually made a move?” He asked, offended.  “I maed plenty of moves! Lots and lots of moves”

“Oh really?” (y/n) asked, quirking an eyebrow.  “I don’t think we’re remembering it the same way, because I only seem to remember you scaring other boys away from me...”

“Well, yeah, among other things,” JJ said, shrugging casually.  “Can’t have a bunch of lame Tourons crowding my girl”

She laughed at his idea of flirting, but she knew fully well that it had always worked.  JJ Maybank was charming in his own unique way, and even now it made her melt in his hands.

“So you’re saying that eventually you would have done something about it?”

“About it?”

“Yeah, you know, whatever was… between us,” (y/n) clarified, her finger twirling around the space between them.  “I have a hard time believing you would have asked me out”

“I would have!” JJ said, pretending to take offense at her accusation.  “Eventually”

“Mhm,” She hummed, and then shook her head.  “Well, we’ll never know now,” She sighed, dropping her hands to her lap as she started to fiddle.  “I think we skipped a couple steps”

“I think we skipped all the steps, sweetheart,” JJ chuckled, taking her hands so she would stop fidgeting.  “But that’s alright, I wouldn’t take it any other way.  You’d be the only one for me no matter what happens,”

Her face turns a rosy shade of pink, which brings JJ to kiss both of her cheeks with a proud grin.

“You wanna talk about it?” He asked.  “Have the what are we conversation”

Surprisingly, (y/n) shrugs and shakes her head.

“I mean, I don’t think we really have to, do you?” She asks softly.  “If there’s no one else for you, and no one else for me…” She trails off, her eyes flickering in between his.  “I think it’s pretty clear to me”

“Yeah,” JJ agrees, nodding his head.  “Pretty clear,” He repeats.  “I just hope you know what you’re getting into” He teases.

She giggles, wrapping her arms around his neck as she leaned in closer.

“I’ve lived with you for quite some time now, I think I know exactly what I’m getting into”

There’s a beat that passes between them, a quiet, contemplative beat.

But then (y/n’s) shaking her head, and she’s smiling at him so brightly that it’s contagious.

And then she leans over just a little bit, just enough to tenderly press her lips against his.

He’s quick to react, his hands reaching up to her face, pulling her impossibly closer to him.

She’s so slow and careful with her movements, and JJ thinks it might have been the softest kiss he’s ever been given.  Her lips are warm, inviting, and he begins to kick himself for not making a proper move on her back when everything wasn’t so heavy.

They pull away, their grins equally wide, and (y/n) leans her forehead into his, her eyes still shut.  JJ stares at her, awestruck, admiring every curve and freckle on her face.

His hands fall to her waist again, and he pulls her down onto the couch with him, allowing her to tuck herself in against his side as they lay comfortably.

They talk for a long time, theorizing on where they’d be now in another life, and what Sarah and John B are up to, wherever they are.  There’s a few tears that JJ has to wipe from the girl’s cheeks, but she’s smiling.

She has hope, for the first time in months, she’s filled with hope and love and deep down she truly believes things will get better.

Even if the day started with the Sheriff’s Department calling to let them know that John B and Sarah Cameron are officially and legally declared dead, since they’d been missing for three months.

It might get worse before it gets better.  But it was bound to get better. ___

[ i stay up all night, tell myself i’m alright // baby you’re just harder to see than most ]

February 19th, 2:45 p.m (Six Months After The Disappearance of John B Routledge and Sarah Cameron)

“I’m not sayin’ that I will key their cars,” JJ argues, “I’m just saying that I would!”

Pope and Kiara burst into fits of laughter, knowing full well that JJ would bust up Kook property at any given chance, even unprovoked.

(y/n) rolled her eyes from next to him, patting his arm gently.

“Sure, Jay, sure” She says, completely unconvinced.

Normally he’d continue to argue that he was just making a joke, but no one would believe him, and truth be told, he wouldn’t even believe himself.

They’d all gotten together today to hang out and eat lunch at The Wreck.  It was one of Kiara’s off days, so for once she actually got to sit at the table with her friends.  It was a nice afternoon, and definitely much needed quality time.

“You want more water?” (y/n) hummed, already picking up her and JJ’s empty glasses.

“Sure, thanks,” He answered with a charming smile while she got up.  “Oh, but wait” He called, reaching out for her arm before she could walk away.

“What?”

He tugged on her arm so she would bend over and he could swiftly kiss her cheek.  She giggled, swatting gently at his bicep, but nonetheless she blushed as she headed off to the counter.

Kiara and Pope each made their faces at JJ.  Winks, wiggling eyebrows, wide eyes, smirks, they couldn’t help it.

“Shut up, both of you” JJ chuckled before they could even say anything.

“We didn’t say anything” Pope grumbled.

“It’s just about time, that’s all,” Kiara said, putting her hands up in surrender.  “You two have been dancing that dance for years”

JJ didn’t say anything, just smiled as he poked around his plate of fries.

“Look at him, he’s so in love with her” Kiara cooed.

But Pope wasn’t looking at him at all, he’d turned in his seat when he’d caught sight of Rafe Cameron eyeing (y/n).  He’d known it wasn’t a good sign.

“Pope,” Kiara called, trying to get his attention, but realized his gaze was focused elsewhere.  “What are you…” She trailed off, turning to follow his line of sight.

She only groaned at the sight of Rafe, before turning back to their own table.  Kooks came to The Wreck on occasion, but not usually Kooks like Rafe Cameron and Topper Thornton, who were in a booth across the restaurant.

“What’s he doing?” Pope mumbled, now watching Rafe get up from his booth, and make his way to the counter, where (y/n) was chatting with one of the servers.

JJ started to get up, but Pope was quick to put a hand up.

“Wait, doesn’t start anything,” He warned, and for some reason, JJ listened to him.  “(y/n) was friends with Sarah”

“That guy’s a fucking prick- and a murderer-” JJ started to argue, but Pope hushed him, telling him to keep his voice down.

“Just wait a minute before you swoop in there and make a scene,” Pope said.  “He’s Sarah’s brother, Sarah was a good person”

JJ muttered a string of profanities, but sat back down in his seat.  He didn’t take his eyes away from the counter though.

“(y/n) (y/l/n),” Rafe called, letting out a low whistle that made JJ bristle.  “Long time no see”

(y/n) barely looked at him before shooting her gaze down to the cups of water.  JJ can tell that she’s playing with the ring on her thumb.

“Yeah, I haven’t really been… around” She’d answered.

“Why doesn’t he just say his piece and leave” JJ muttered, both of his hands in his lap, curling into tight fists.

“That’s too bad” Rafe responded.

(y/n) wasn’t giving him any of her attention, so JJ knew he shouldn’t be so upset right now.  But he didn’t trust Rafe for as far as he could throw him, and he definitely didn’t trust him around (y/n).

“She can hold her own” Pope reminded him, knowing that JJ was starting to see red.

Yeah, but he’s a creep, he thought to himself.

“I’m sorry about Sarah,”

(y/n) spoke suddenly, soft and sweet, displaying nothing but kindness to a boy she knew wouldn’t know what kindness felt like if someone handed it right to him.

“I didn’t get to know her as well as I would have liked, but… I did like her a lot.  She was definitely a special-”

Rafe cut her off before she could say anything more.

“Well, you move on fast, don’t you?” He snarled.

(y/n) blinked, eyes going wide at the rude comment, even if she didn’t understand it.

“What-?”

“Your Pogue boyfriend’s only dead for a few months and you’ve already latched onto another, huh?” He asked, gesturing towards JJ.

(y/n’s) eyes wandered over to her boyfriend, who had just stood up from his seat with such force it fell backwards, and was now making his way over.

Please don’t get in a fight, she begged silently.  Please don’t make a scene, this isn’t worth the attention of the whole restaurant.

“Rafe, you’ve got it all wrong,” She told him quietly, trying to diffuse the situation herself.  “John B wasn’t my boyfriend, we grew up together, he was a brother to me-”

“You’re disgusting,” Rafe spat at her.  “If it wasn’t for your Pogue friends and your Pogue slut self, Sarah wouldn’t be dead right now!”

It felt like (y/n’s) heart stopped at the cruel accusation, and for a moment, she thought she might burst into tears in front of him.

“She’s not dead” She mumbled, her throat going tight.

JJ was at her side in a second, his arm winding around her hips and pulling her into him, about to drag her away without a word to Rafe.  He knew she didn’t want him to act out, and as hard as it was, he didn’t want to let her down.

He prompted her to follow him back to the table, forgetting about the water on the counter, he just wanted to get her out of this restaurant as fast as possible

“She is dead, they’re both dead because of you!” Rafe called after her, desperate to get the last word in.

“Why don’t you shut the fuck up?” JJ hollered back, throwing the Kook a threatening look over his shoulder.

“That’s fine sweetheart!” Rafe shouted, and (y/n) tried her best to block him out.  “Let your shiny new toy fight your fights for you! Just like John B did.  Do all the Pogues you fuck become your guard dog?”

That was it.

Any chance of her crying went out the window and next thing she knew, she was ripping herself out of JJ’s hold and lunging towards Rafe, swinging without any aim, but enough force that when she hit the Kook in the nose, she could feel the crunch of cartilage against her knuckles, and blood splattered onto the counter.

“You bitch-!”

Rafe barely had a chance to fight back before JJ was grabbing (y/n) by the waist, lifting her up and physically carrying her out of The Wreck.  Pope and Kiara hastily followed them out, laughing joyously.

“Are you crazy?” JJ asked, only setting her down once they were down the street, and they were certain that a group of Kooks wouldn’t follow after them to finish what (y/n) had started.

She was still scowling, and rubbing at her jaw where Rafe had just barely nicked her with his knuckles.

“Fuck,” JJ grinned at her, taking her by surprise.  “You are crazy”

“You’re not mad?” She asked, and all three of her friends laughed.

“Mad? Of course not, you just broke Rafe Cameron’s nose, baby!” JJ cheered, cupping her face in his hands and pressing a quick kiss to her lips, and then her nose, and then her cheek.  “That’s my girl!”

The whooping and hollering of her boyfriend, echoed by Pope and Kie, made her blush red and butterflies erupt in her chest.  Breaking a Kook’s nose was a strange thing to feel bashful about, but the attention made her shy.

“Come on, let’s get home and ice that before it bruises” JJ said, nodding to her jaw.

As they made their way to the Chateau, their hands latched and swinging between them, JJ continued to gush over how badass and amazing she was, no matter how much she laughed it off and begged him to stop making her blush. ___

[ every night i’m dancing with your ghost ]

February 19th, 3:15 p.m

“You’re lucky I pulled you outta there before he landed a whole punch,” JJ told (y/n) as he pressed a bag of frozen peas against her jaw.  “This coulda hurt a lot worse, why didn’t you duck babe?”

(y/n) let out a huff, swinging her legs from where she sat on the kitchen counter.  JJ was standing between them, coddling her much more than necessary.

“I dunno, I’m not some pro fighter like you” She retorted, and hissed when he pressed a little too hard against the sensitive skin.

“I know that was supposed to be sarcastic, but I’m gonna take it as a compliment anyways,” JJ retorted, earning a good natured eye roll from the girl.  “You know I’m proud of you, right?”

“I know,” She giggled back.  “You haven’t shut up about it”

“Can’t help it, it was fuckin’ awesome,” JJ gushed again.  “It was so hot, the most perfect punch, I wish I coulda taken a picture of the look on Rafe’s face, priceless.  You’re such a badass, I fucking love you”

He didn’t seem to catch what he’d said, but (y/n) did.  

Her eyes blew wide, and her lips parted momentarily, at a loss for words.  And since she didn’t know what to say, she decided the next best thing was to lean forward and capture his lips in a passionate kiss.

The kiss took JJ by surprise at first, but then the realization of what he’d said hit him, and he pulled away from her abruptly.

“Oh my god, I didn’t mean- well I did, but I-”

“JJ,” (y/n) giggled as he rambled, her hands laying across his cheeks.  “It’s okay, I-”

They were cut off by the phone ringing, which was odd, because it wasn’t their cellphone’s ringtone.  It took a second to even realize that the Chateau had a landline.

“What the fuck?” (y/n) pushed the bag of peas JJ was still holding away from her face, and hopped off the counter.  “Who even has this number? Oh my god, do you think it’s Thomas again?”

(y/n’s) heart began to race as she darted out of the kitchen towards the phone hanging on the wall.

“(y/n/n)- do you want me to take it?” JJ asked, worried that she’d freak herself out too much to actually answer the phone.

But she’d already unhooked the phone from the wall.

“Routledge Residence, (y/n) speaking”

There was a chuckle on the other side of the line, followed by a teasing, “I just knew that you weren’t gonna move out”

JJ couldn’t hear what the caller had said, but from the look on (y/n’s) face, he knew it couldn’t have been a telemarketer.

She dropped to her knees, the cord on the phone uncoiling completely as it stretched all the way down.  A choked sound between a sob and a gasp escaped her, and in a second, JJ was kneeling in front of her, jumping right into panic attack mode.

“(y/n/n), what is it? Who is it?”

“JJ there too? How are you guys-”

“John B?” (y/n) mumbled, voice shaky, scared that this was some practical joke at her expense.

JJ’s eyes went wide, and she finally looked up at him, his jaw slack.

“The one and only,” He laughed again.  “Guess I’m lucky you were at the house, I don’t remember any other phone numbers”

“I can’t believe it- are you okay? Is Sarah okay? Holy shit, John-”

“We’re okay, we’re both okay,” He chuckled, cutting her off.  “You’re not gonna believe this… but… we’ve got it”

“You’ve got it?” She repeated, confused.

“The gold, (y/n), we’ve got the gold”

“No shit-”

“Sarah says hi by the way,” He added.  “We’ll be back as soon as we can with it, okay? I don’t know when, but we’re working on it”

“What’s he saying?” JJ asked, but (y/n’s) brain was in a clusterfuck of information.

“I miss you- well all miss you- we miss you so much” She stammered out.

“We miss you too, (y/n)!” Sarah called, sounding distant through the speaker.

“We miss you a lot,” John B added,  “I’m sorry we didn’t call earlier, we just had to be sure there way it could get tracked-”

“It’s okay, it’s okay, I forgive you,” (y/n) said through a watery laugh.  “Just- just be safe, and get back as soon as you can, okay?”

“We will, promise,” John B replied.  “And I’ll try to call more too, okay? Look we’re… we’re working it all out right now”

“Okay, good,” (y/n) sighed, and wiped her teary cheeks with the back of her hand.  “I can’t wait to see you both”

“And when you do, we’ll be millions of dollars richer,” He told her.  “Look, we have to get going, Sarah has work.  The Kook Princess has a job here!” He told her with a laugh.  “I’ll call you when I can, alright?”

“Alright,” She agreed.  “Okay, call soon”

“Stay safe, (y/n/n), talk to you soon”

“Bye, John B”

He hung up, leaving the phone to ring a low dull sound, and (y/n) and JJ to stare at each other in amazement.

“They have the gold” (y/n) mumbled out.

“For real?”

“For real,” She nods back at him.  “They’re working on a plan to come home-”

Before she can finish, he tackles her to the ground, hugging her tight, and just letting the phone hang by it’s cord.  They’re laughing, she’s crying, and they can’t remember the last time they’ve felt joy like this before.

(y/n) sits up slightly, enough to wrap her arms around him and kiss him chastely.

“They’re in the Bahamas, and Sarah has a job, and- and they’re gonna come home” She rambled on as tears streamed down her face faster than JJ could wipe them away.

He’s grinning at her, kissing her whole face, everywhere he could.

She starts to giggle from the kisses, her shoulders raising from the ticklish feeling.

“JJ- JJ!” She cried out, having to grab him by his shoulders to get him to chill out.  “We have to go tell Pope and Kie!” “Okay, come on, let’s get going, I’ll drive you there now” JJ said, pulling her up to her feet, but before racing for the door, he wrapped his arms around her and spun her around in the air.

“I can’t believe it, I can’t believe it!” (y/n) cried out, giggling when he finally set her back down, and grabbed her hand before dashing for the front door.  “We’re going out tonight, baby!” She was so ecstatic, her body was practically vibrating.

He laughed, grabbing the keys to his dirtbike from the counter.

“Wait wait wait, JJ!” (y/n) called, her grip tightening on his hand as she pulled him back towards her.

“What? What is it?” He asked in a hurry, his eyes wild as he looked back at her.

She just grinned at him, before pulling him in closer, and leaning up on the tips of her toes so she could kiss him.

She could feel his tenseness fade away, and when she smiled it broke their kiss.

“I love you too,” She told him, her smile brightening before she reached up and stole another kiss.  “And I’m glad you’re here with me, always”

“Well, we do live together, sweetheart,” He teased.  “But you know I’d never go anywhere else”

“I know,” She hummed, and leaned in to kiss him one more time.  “You ready to go?”

“Yeah, quit trying to distract me!”

(y/n) laughed as she followed him out the door, an overwhelming amount of delight flooding through her as she got on the back of JJ’s bike, rehearsing in her head what she wanted to say to their friends, and how impatient she was to see John B again.

___

xoxo ~ jordie

[heynikkiyousofine]

A Deal With A Demon

Summary:  Kagome’s struggling to keep her family’s bar afloat after her mother’s death. One night, a demon makes a deal, intriguing her to change her life.

Trigger Warning on this fic! I'm so sorry I forgot to mention it before, there is an attempted assault in the first part.

Part 1 l Part 2 l Part 3 l Part 4

ao3

Dedicated to my dear friend @enchantedink-ag Much Love! 💕

Kagome didn’t think she could cry anymore, her face permanently puffy and red over the last week. Smoothing her knee length black dress, she looked around the empty bar, deciding that she needed the distraction after the funeral. Sango had made sure she was okay before heading back to their apartment, leaving Kagome alone in the bar. 

Grabbing her bag, she headed for her office to change into jeans and a navy tee, thankful she always kept a back up of clothes here. Hanging her black dress on the back of her door, she sank in to her chair and laid her head on her forearms. She wasn’t sure how long she laid there when she felt clawed fingers stroking her hair. Bolting up out of her chair, she screamed, ready to attack whoever had snuck in, fearing the worse.

“Hey, hey. It’s okay Kagome. It’s me.” Inuyasha calmly stated, holding his hands up in surrender. Once she realized who it was, her shoulders sagged in relief. Her emotions had been all over the place, her chin began to tremble and Inuyasha scaring her just push her over the edge. She sank to the floor, tears trickle down her face.

“Kagome, what happened?” Inuyasha crouched down beside her, cupping her face to wipe the never ending stream of tears. She closed her eyes, whimpering as he continued to soothe her. She gripped his cloak tightly, focusing on the deep red color.

“My father died. My mother’s gone. My family didn’t even show up for the funeral. My family’s bar is failing. I’m going to have a shut it down, sell it. I’m so far in debt, I can’t see which way is up. My life is crumbling around me and I don’t know what to do anymore.” She sobbed, bringing him closer.

He wrapped his arms tight around her and pulled her into lap, stroking her hair softly as she sobbed, her tears soaking his clothing. She continued to cry, mumbling incoherently, while he continued to stroke her hair. Her sobs quieted, but she didn’t want to move, afraid of his reaction. Getting sleepy, she felt him shift her in his lap and was vaguely aware that he was walking with her in his arms. She snugged in closer, her arm wrapping around his neck, keeping her eyes closed. Yawning, she heard him soothe her once more and drifted to sleep in his arms.

————————————————————————————————————————————

Yawning, she stretched her arms up high over head, hitting them softly against a velvet headboard. Frowning, she looked up, only to see a deep shade of red. Sitting up, she realized she was laying in a large plush bed, surrounded by red, silk pillows, covered in a soft duvet. Stroking the blanket, she smiled softly. I should be terrified to wake up in some stranger’s bed, but this color reminds me of Inuyasha. Speaking of, where is he? Wiggling her toes, she pulls the blanket off of her, feeling the room’s cool air brush against her feet.

Still wearing her jeans and shirt, she stood, looking around the room. It was decorated finely, like an old manor, with a roaring fire and lots of books. Maybe he’s a vampire demon, his room is decorated like one, she mused, smiling to herself once more.

Deciding to head towards the door to search for the home owner, she turned, only to see Inuyasha leaning against the door frame staring at her, an amused look on his face. His arms were crossed, his red shirt tight on his muscles, with his markings vibrant against his tanned skin. Ignoring the fluttering in her lower half, she looked at him, pursing her lips, bring her hands to her hips.

“And just what is so funny?”

“I was wondering the same thing actually.” He smirked, pushing off the frame to walk towards her.

“I was wondering if you were a vampire demon, since your room is decorated for their tastes.” She giggled.

“Oi, wench, I like my books.” She giggled some more, staring up at him as he stopped right in front of her. She suddenly had the urge to run her hands up and down his chest.

“Why did you bring me here?” 

“You were upset, I did the only thing I could think of. Are you mad?” She shook her head, staring at him in wonder.

“You are the most confusing demon I’ve ever met.”

“And you are the most intriguing and strong woman I have ever met.” She shook her head, smiling and glanced around the room once more.

“Want to give me a tour of your home?” She asked excitedly. She wondered if he had more of an updated home, or if it was old fashioned. Either way, she was determined to see it. He could sense her excitement as well, grabbing her hand in his and squeezed, laughing.

“Come on.”

————————————————————————————————————————————

After what felt like the twentieth room the explored, she stroked her fingers along a wooden rail, admiring the shelves lined with books in the library. She sighed dreamily. His house was beyond perfect, having everything you would need to live comfortably for a long time, including a private movie theater and an extravagant kitchen. She wondered if he was rich, since he seemed so young and she realized she knew very little about him.

“Inuyasha?” She called over her shoulder, reading the titles of the shelf she was currentlywalking by.

“Yes?’

“How old are you?”

“A little over 150, why?” She stopped in her tracks, staring at him in shock.

“What?” He chuckled, clearly amused by her reaction. She blushed and stared, mesmerized by his laugh.

“I’m 154 years old. I’m a demon, so we don’t age very fast.”

“That makes more sense. I was wondering if you were a millionaire or something.” She bit her lip, hiding her laughter at her own embarrassment. He chuckled again, gesturing her to sit in a oversize comfy loveseat. She sank into the forest green cushion, feeling tiny in the seat. Bring her legs up, she continued her questions. After he answered more, he leaned forward in his own seat, leaning on his thighs, a serious look crossing his features.

“Kagome, we need to talk about earlier.” Her stomach dropped, forgetting all about the outside world and her parents.

“I’m okay now, thank you for checking in on me.” She hugged her legs closer, tucking them in under her legs. She stared into the fire, their silence soothing to her mind. She still had a small headache from crying so much, but it was fading.

“I want to ask you something, Kagome. You have the option to say no, but I really want you to think about it.” He spoke to her slowly, keeping her gaze. No matter how he spoke her name, she loved it, the syllables sending vibrations through her.

“What is it?” She asked softly, biting her lip.

“I want to make another deal with you.”

————————————————————————————————————————————

Kagome smiled once more for the fox demon and his wife, a beautiful cat demon, as they paid their tab. Ever since she returned from Inuyasha’s home, her bar’s business had been steady and rapidly rising, keeping her preoccupied with drink orders. It seemed her deal with him was working. As the night came to a close, she locked the door, flipping off the neon sign overhead, her shoulder sagging with relief. She didn’t realize how tired she was, but was thankful in many ways. In the last two days, she had managed to settle her debt with the bank, thanks to Inuyasha and business was growing. At this rate, she could put some money away to remodel the bar and take some time off. She would need to hire someone else to help.

Glancing at the clock, she figured she should get a start on cleaning before heading home to continue packing the last of her belongs. As she polished the glassware as it came out from the dishwasher, she looked back on her conversation with a certain silver hair demon.

“I want to make another deal with you.” He stared at her in all seriousness.

“What is it you had in mind?”

“I will fix all your issues, save your family’s bar, make sure you are financially set, if you do me one thing.” She swallowed, waiting anxiously for his part of the bargain. “I want you to come live with me, for the rest of your life.”

It hadn’t taken her long to decide yes, that she would talk to Sango in the next few days and move her belongs after the weekend. She had loved everything she had seen so far and realized his home wasn’t very far from hers, well her apartment. She didn’t see any harm in this, except for maybe falling for him more, especially if the feelings weren’t mutual. It wasn’t until now, she realized that if she were to live with him the rest of her life, it would be short compared to his. The thought made her sad and she cleared her thoughts, focusing on the task at hand. He hadn’t visited her, told her he would be waiting for her when she needed to move her things, to not worry about handling all her boxes.

She only stared at him in amusement and they had dinner, ordering take out, ending the night talking by the fire and getting to know one another. Looking back, it was clear, she was falling for him and wondered hopefully if he felt the same.

Her conversation with Sango had been a different story, but was welcoming when Sango had pointed out her feelings. She had stuttered over her words after that, blushing hard. Her best friend asked her to do one thing before she left, not including staying in contact at least a few days a weeks.

“Can we meet him first? Miroku and I? I just want to make sure he is who you say he is.” Sango asked, a glint in her bright, brown eyes.

“I don’t think he would mind.” She giggled, picturing Inuyasha meeting her best friends, like he was her boyfriend or something.”

Sango wouldn’t quit teasing her long after that. They decided that when he would arrive to take her back, they would meet. She realized she had no way of contacting him. Frowning at the thought, she carried her cash register drawer back to her office, thankful she decided to close the bar for the next week to get settled in, then deep cleaning her bar, doing minor repairs.

————————————————————————————————————————————

Monday afternoon rolled around and Inuyasha arrived promptly at three, knocking softly on her apartment door. She rushed, opening the door, smiling for him and he smiled back. Butterflies erupted in her stomach once more and she bit her lip. What I would do for those lips on mine…

“I want you to meet Sango and Miroku first, before we go. Is that okay?” She asked softly, pleading with him.

“Sure, anything you want.” He murmured, stepping in. Kagome grinned, shutting the door and grabbed his hand, leading him towards the living room, where Sango and Miorku sat. When they walked in, two two rose and shook hands, everyone introducing themselves.

“So you’re doing this for her, correct? You’re not some kidnapper or a serial killer?” Sango asked, gripping his hand tightly.

“Sango dear, I feel no ill will within him. I think Kagome will be much more than okay, so you can let go of his hand now.” He winked at her, causing Kagome to blush brightly.

“My only concern is Kagome. She will be safe with me.” He smiled, glancing her way. “I enjoy spending time with her.” He added softly. Her cheeks flushed even more and she looked down, embarrassed at so much public affection.

They continued to talk a bit, getting to know one another, Miroku and Inuyasha finding themselves having more in common than they realized. Sango kept sneaking glances her way, waggling her eyes brows in his direction and Kagome thought more than one to herself that Miroku was rubbing off on her. When the sun had begun to set, Inuyasha stood his feet, holding out his hand, wiggling his claws.

“Are you ready to go, Kagome?” He asked. She nodded, placing hers in his.

taglist: @enchantedink-ag​ @yukinon-writes​ @jeremymarsh​ @thejustmaiden​ @sailorbabydoll92​ @loveinu40​ @knittingknots​ @dawnrider​ @moonandwind​ @lavendertwilight89​ @malditamigs​ @coyfoxmama​ @hazelhalfpint @sailorlolo @liz8080 @eriimoonsstuff @gottalottasocks @swaggingtomboy​ @kalcia @splendentgoddess @wheremydreamsliethereyoullfindme @elcubanpapi13 @kawaiichan67 @mandirox89  @banksdelivers @keichanz @sorayastrife @abominablesnowpickle @joaniemae @sheremylunadandelion90 @babeewiththepowerr  @betrosed @misteria247  @bluejay785 @misteria247 @that-one-nerdy-gal @adorabubblesblog @snowleopard302 @melissaurie @banksdelivers @mybloodstream-caffeine @cazzy96 @hylianghoulart @briartss @hny-moroha @xcaeli @imextraordinarilyordinary @prettybaby89 @grapefruitwannabe

[beetle--bug]

HALLO~i saw the requests is open so I want to send one! If you don't mind writing them but I have this idea in my head for a while now SO

A long distance relationship! because I practically live across the world from em and I need some of that content and I'm terrible at writing lol

if you don't mind I'd be very appreciated ( ꈍᴗꈍ) I kinda want it to be like a hc for the people you write for but if its too much, could I get a tommy and tubbo? I'm a minor, so, yea(GN! reader would be great)

Thank you!

Ps. Its ok if you can't though! Thanks again! ✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧

Sure!

✧ Long Distance relationship with dsmp members ✧

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Warnings: none!

Included: Dream, Tommy, Tubbo

A/N: this was a similar ask to @lukerycyja (for some reason I can’t tag them?) so I did them together! Hope that’s okay

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

(っ◔◡◔)っ ♡ Dream ♡

You know that your brother Tommy streams a lot

I mean, everyone on your block must know he streams from the amount of screaming he does.

So when he’s actually doing a quiet stream, you walk in unexpectedly.

‘Y/N GET OUT OF MY ROOM HELP ME HELP ME’

The whole scene was hilarious, and after talking about it with your brother, you thought it would be funny to play a prank on the dream smp

While you weren’t as experienced as Tommy with Minecraft, you still knew the basics of it.

Dream was wanting to write the next character arc for Tommy, and that is how you joined a discord call with Clay.

‘So Tommy I was thinking that-‘

‘Hello?’

‘You’re- not Tommy??’

‘No, I’m Y/N, Tommy’s older sister.’

‘Oh, nice to meet you y/n I’m Clay’

The two of you got on really well and so you called more often.

And you start to get a crush on him (˶◕╰╯◕˶✿)

So you tell him, you can’t keep something like that from your best friend!

And he’s so happy!

‘I- I like you too Y/N!’

After a few weeks of you two dating, he’d show you his face

Falling asleep on call together ٩( ๑^ ꇴ^)۶“

Well, one of you would fall asleep since your time zones are different

After begging and pleading your parents let you go to America to meet him (★^O^★)

Ohmygodhessosweettoyou;;

And he’d take you on a date!

Very fancy and romantic ♡♡+.ﾟ(￫ε￩*)ﾟ+.ﾟ

He w o u l d cry when you leave

And he calls you when you’re on the plane

(っ◔◡◔)っ ♡ Tommy ♡

This boy is S O F T when it comes to you

After a stream he’ll call you

It’s not that late for you, so you’re not as tired as him

‘Hi Tommy, how was your stream?’

Incoherent Tommy mumbling

Him being the stubborn person he is, he’ll refuse to sleep until you call him

And you’ll just be comfortable in each other’s silence

Virtual movie nights (★^O^★)

If he had his hair cut, he’d show you how poggers it was on a video call

‘Aww Tommy! You’re so P R E T T Y!’

‘Y/NNNNNN’ >////////<

He is a hardcore simp for you no I do not take criticism

When he’s really sleepy he is so clingy

‘TOMMY I SWEAR TO GOD GO TO SLEEP’

‘Mmmmmm, okayyyy, I love you y/n’

And he completely denies it the next day

8/10 he won’t sleep

(っ◔◡◔)っ ♡ Tubbo ♡

He has a custom ringtone for you so he doesn’t miss your calls

You two make a bed sanctuary together :0

Sometimes he forgets that you have different time zones and he’ll call when it’s 1 am for you

Only to be surprised when you answer

If you fall asleep while you’re on call with him, he’d just kinda look at you (not in a creepy way lol)

Because you’re so P R E T T Y!

Why do I feel like he’d doodle you on his wrist?

Because he definitely would!

He’s just so soft I-

On your birthday he’d fly over to see you

‘Y/N’

‘AAAAAAA’

9/10 you can’t hug him every day

[sugarsymphonyy]

alright, akaashi taking care of his catgirl!reader while shes in heat,, I've been thinking about this for a week straight I loooove the idea teehee

YES ! THIS !! I LOVE YOU !!!

Akaashi x Catgirl!reader in heat

Warnings : NSFW, catgirl(duh), edging, overstimulation, Dom!Akaashi, squirting, very very light degradation, PRAISE, orgasm control, oral (receiving), dacryphilia, fingering, toys

I'm so certain that when he's dom, he's soft with his words and a huge meanie with his actions

Like- he's gonna be so sweet with you, tell you how well you're doing for him, call you his good girl, his sweet little princess, etc...

But then edges you for hours, makes you make yourself cum on his cock, then when you finally beg enough to cum, he'll let you cum again and again and again

Also- I'd like to take this time to point out the fingers on him

His hands are canonically bigger than Bokutos simply because his fingers are so long 🥵

Thank him, you know how to use your manners, use them

SO NOW

IMAGINE

You and Akaashi both knew your heat was coming soon. It was nothing new, but he had just a little bit more work to finish up for his job, and his deadline was soon. You agreed to wait a little bit, you knew this was super important, and he promised it was just a little work anyways.

So naturally, after an hour and a half of waiting patiently for his help, you decided to go check on him. Face red, panties already half soaked, you strutted over to him.

"'Kaaasshhiiii~" you whined, running your hands over his shoulders then down his chest. Your tail flicked softly back and forth, lightly wrapping around his neck.

He looked up at you, "I know princess, just wait a little bit longer for me, okay?" He had kissed the back of one of your hands and smiled softly. "Just be a good girl for me a little bit longer princess."

You whined and then sat down on the ground next to him, rubbing your legs together, allowing him to work again. This didn't last long. After a couple of minutes, you get up and move to sit on his lap, then started grinding.

"Fuck... baby, I'm almost done, wait just a little longer." He still your hips with his hands, holding on tightly to be sure you stopped. "Just a little longer, then I can help you all night."

And as tempting as it sounded, you were already such a horny mess that all you could do was whine back at him and tried to grind again. "I need you now~" was all you could get out. "Pleaseee! I need you to make me cum~"

He tightened his grip on you and looked you dead in the eye, "Not yet" he hissed out, slightly agitated, "now be a good little princess, and wait"

You whimpered and got off his lap, deciding to go back to sitting on the ground where you were before. Akaashi smiled down at you, "good girl, now, I'm almost done. Wait just a little bit longer, I promise I'll make you cum if you do."

You nodded, not really as agreeing, but more as acknowledgment, you had your own plans. "Okay, 'Kaashi~"

...Like hell you'd wait any longer for pleasure, so you decided to take matters into your own hands and slipped off your now fully soaked panties. "Mmng~.." you whined, bringing your hand down to your folds and running your fingers along your slit, then up to circle you clit.

Akaashi just sighed, saved his work, then got up and look down at you. "You just couldn't wait, huh?~" You whined and whimpered, moving the fingers on your clit a bit faster.

He picked you up and took you to your bed, then laid you down softly. "Really are such an impatient, slutty princess~" He pinned your legs open, holding your thighs down. "Just so eager to be fucked stupid, hm?"

You nodded quickly, "pleaseee!~" Your tail was flicking all over sporadically, completely out of your control. Akaashi just smiled down at you, then went between your legs and sucked your clit. "Ah!~"

He chuckled against you, the vibrations adding to your sensitivity and only making you louder, encouraging Akaashi to keep going. "Fuck... you taste so good~"

You grinded down on him more, gripping his hair tightly and moaning loudly, needing more of his tongue. He only sped up, shoving a couple of fingers in, only for you to yell out pathetically, already trembling.

"So sensitive, hm? Already trembling for me" he said against your cunt, then curled his fingers to hit that soft, spongey part right inside you. "Fuck!~ 'm gonn.... 'm gonna cum 'Kaashi!"

He pulled his mouth away from you, stilling his fingers inside you. "Not yet, you don't get to cum yet... you were so impatient earlier, gotta teach you how to wait now" he softly rubbed the inside of your thigh, then slapped it, making you cry out with pleasure.

He softly planted small kisses along your thigh. "Be a good girl and wait to cum a little longer" He flattens his tongue and licks your pussy again, causing you to jolt, before he pulled away again. You whined pathetically at him, wanting more. "Be patient for me baby" he insisted.

You nodded and whimpered, trying to grind your hips against anything, to get any sort of stimulation. Akaashi gripped your hips tightly in one hand, stilling you, "I told you to be patient, or else you will have to wait a lot longer" he warned. You nodded and stayed still for him.

He slowly started to move his fingers in you again, pumping at an agonizingly slow pace, "There's my good girl~" His fingers curled to hit inside of you just right to make you scream.

You tried so hard not to move your hips, but its starting to get impossible now. "Please.. please more..!" All he did was kiss and bite the inside of your thighs, still moving his fingers slowly in you.

You really were trying not to move much, but it was starting to get too difficult after 5ish minutes of slowly being fingered and every once in a while having a tiny bit of clit stimulation. You kept begging and whining throughout the entire thing, but all of it got you nothing more than what you already had.

He only smiled a little bit at your attempts for more. "My precious little princess wants more? Look at you, such a crybaby~" and you really were. Fat, hot tears were rolling down your face, leaving Akaashi to wipe them for you. "You're so pretty when you cry for me..." he punctuated it with a sharp thrust with his hand, making you yell out in pleasure.

He kept up a quicker pace this time, only to have you moaning out loudly for him and how good it felt. "Awww, listen to yourself princess, you sound like the sweet little bitch in heat that you are~" he sucked on your clit, driving you insane. You were already dumb, humping against his tongue subtly, trying not to get caught. But, of course, it wasn't subtle enough.

He laughed at you lightly, vibrations going right to your core, making your mind hazy. You were clenching around his fingers harshly, making it hard for him to even move. "My good girl wants to cum?" You could only nod quickly, trying to string together coherent words, but failing miserably. He pushed his fingers even further in you, "cum then, cum like the needy little thing you are.."

You shook violently as you did, gushing around his fingers that didn't stop moving, driving further into madness. "Such a messy little thing... my pretty, messy girl" his tongue worked smaller, faster circles on your clit, licking down to your hole and his fingers then back up again every so often.

Your mind was blank, clouded by pleasure and pain from being so overstimulated, back arching and screams coming from your mouth. You were being sent hurdling into your next orgasm, and Akaashi could tell. "One more for me, just like this, then I've got a surprise for you"

He knew you wouldn't be able to respond with anything other than frantic nods and loud moans due to your heat making you much more sensitive than normal. You squirmed against him, the pleasure too much, and had your second orgasm. This time, it racked your body even harder, making you choke on a small sob of pleasure.

Akaashi slowed his fingers and mouth to a stop, kissing your thighs lightly, praising how well you've done. "Stay right here, I have to go get my good girl her surprise, okay?" He stood up, softly planting kisses up your torso, across your shoulders, then to your lips. You nodded to him, "m'kay..!" still a bit out of it, but excited to see what he was going to get.

When he came back, he was holding something behind his back. He walked to you, lightly slapping the inside of your thigh, making you whimper loudly. You tried to focus your eyes on him, but failed. He went back down between your legs, taking the small bullet vibrator out from behind his back and turning it on, trailing it along your thigh, getting closer and closer to your twitching cunt.

You whined and squirm, already feeling overwhelmed with all the previous and current stimulation, but still needing more. He circled around your clit, then down to your hole, gathering slick and pushing it in. Even on its lowest setting, it's still almost too much. "Such a sensitive little thing you are" he said softly, licking and biting at your clit again.

He turned up the vibrations slowly, getting more and more intense with his mouth on you. You looked absolutely fucked out now, and he loved it. "You look so pretty when you're all dumb for me, my good girl~" He pulled the vibrator out of you, swirling it around your clit, then pushing it on you roughly.

You thrashed against his arms, babbling out nonsense, incoherent thank yous leaving your mouth as your cum splashed against him. Akaashi chuckled deeply, not removing it until you were sobbing and pleading for him to slow down and to give you a break. He did so, turning off the vibe and putting it next to you both, standing up between your legs and leaning you over you. "So pretty for me like this.." he kissed up your torso and chest, to your lips softly.

"Feel good?" You nodded in response, still not able to fully form words. "You did so good" you whined lightly in response, on the verge of passing out from exhaustion. "Sleepy, baby? How about we get you cleaned up first, yeah?" You shook your head no, gripping his forearms, wanting him just to stay there with you as you fell asleep.

AHHH THIS TOOK SO LONG FOR ME TO GET OUT IM SORRY!!! But I hope you liked it! I really had fun writing this one❤

Send in more requests if anyone wants to!

[dreamkidddream]

Ah sorry, I forgot to specify;; I meant the quote <3

Aw thank you! 🥺 tbh I’m surprised that this is the first Dazai request for the prompt special but I ain’t mad at it cause this was super cute ☺️ also this got kinda short so hope it’s okay and reader is gender neutral! Also look at how cute he looks in the gif UGH smiling Dazai >>>>>>

TW: typical Dazai suicide attempts/mentions, spicy/suggestive but fluffy, and nothing graphic is mentioned

Prompt: “I know I kissed you like, ten times, but just another ten, please.” with Dazai!

Waking up to kisses being showered across your body, as you found out, is not a bad way to be woken up. It’s great when it’s on your day off, and the best when the one giving them to you is off too.

Dazai loves waking you up like this, seeing your nose twitch and your face scrunch up as he gently pecks any available area he can reach (and if he can’t, he’ll find a way). Doing this just reminds him of something that he has in this cruel world. Seeing you rise out of your slumber giggling and leaning towards him is a sight that he will never tire of. He’s not able to do it as much as he wants to (which is really every morning, really he wants to do all day), so he has to savor every chance he gets.

He’s not a morning person by any chance, but it becomes more than tolerable every time he presses his lips against you.

“Good morning sleeping beauty.”

You stretched and groan, his efforts finally paying off, “G’morning Osamu.”

Dazai could just lay in bed with you the whole day peppering you with kisses and die happy (dare he say it would be the perfect double suicide) on the spot. He stopped his attack momentarily after you tried to escape his grasp, keyword tried. As soon as you started to inch your legs towards the floor, he maneuvered his way to tangle both of your legs together, burying his head in the crook of your neck and continuing his onslaught of kisses.

“Trying to leave me already? You know I won’t let you go that easily. I know I kissed you like, ten times, but just another ten, please”, you shivered at his voice, he knew exactly what he’s doing. His sleepy voice retaining that sort of roughness does things to you (honestly his voice just do things to you in general), and he knows this. If he keeps this up, you wouldn’t be leaving the bed anytime soon, and that’s his plan. As pleasing as that sounds, you both do have to eat, and your stomach growling agreed with that.

“I know, but can we eat first? We have the whole day to laze away, but I don’t wanna starve while doing it”, you began to massage his scalp, softly snagging any knots that you came across. “Then I can give you all my attention and kisses after.”

He just smiled into your neck, climbing higher and edging closer to your lips. “Hm...Nope! I want them now, and I’m not waiting any longer.” And he reiterated his point by just snuggling deeper into you, breathlessly chuckling at your form giving off a shiver once again. He loves way your body reacts to him, and with the way you’re accepting his nonstop kisses, he knows that he’s going to be getting his way very soon.

“Osamu pleaseeeee? We can even do breakfast in bed! I know that you’re hungry-”

Pinning you down to the sheets, he didn’t waste any time in catching your attention and making your stomach flutter in anticipation.

“If you know, then you won’t mind helping me, hm? You’ll be more than enough to satisfy my appetite.”

Once again, Dazai never fails to take your breath away, and you might as well cancel any plans you did want to make today.

Dazai already had plans being completely selfish with you, and you could only hope that you’ll still be able to function tomorrow.

—

The next morning, Yosano eyed you up and down in suspicion. You walked in practically glowing, greeting everyone with an upbeat in your voice, with Dazai right behind you, and even he looked a bit more brighter himself. Usually it would take you some time to fully wake up and adjust (you still greeted everyone, just with incoherent mumbles) but it seemed that you were wide awake this time. Except there was one issue bugging her...

“Morning Yosano!”

“Good morning...? Are you okay?”

“Of course! why do you ask?”

“You’re awfully lively this morning. And why on Earth are you wearing that around your neck? Out of all the clothes that I picked out for you, and you don’t even wear them.”

“Oh I was...running late! Yeah, and laundry didn’t get done yet, so”, you gave a weak laugh. “You make with what you got, ya know?”

She’s not buying it one bit, and her eyes narrowed even more at your fashion crime. “Not to mention the fact that you’re limping.”

You felt your mind going blank as she just gave you a smirk.

You’ve been made!

“So I’m assuming that your day off was fun?”

You cleared your throat, “Y-yeah, it was nice. Just relaxed, nothing special about that.” A beat of silence passed between you, that caused you to sweat and fidget more and more. Before she could even open her mouth to comment, Dazai came up behind you and dragged you away under the pretense of being “too lonely to type up reports”.

“Are you proud of yourself Osamu?”

“I’m sorry, I might have went a little overboard yesterday”, he rubbed the back of his neck. “Can you blame me though? Hearing you cry out for me-”

“OKAY MOVING ON! Just”, you jabbed a finger to his chest. “You owe me!”

He just gave you a soft laugh and a kiss on your forehead. He knows that you’re a bit upset with him, but he can’t help it that you look too cute pouting!

“Our next day off is going to be dedicated to me and me only. I want the royal treatment: feeding me food, massages, the whole nine yards. And don’t think you’re getting out of this easy too!”

Rubbing circles onto your hands, he brought them to his lips, alternating between the two. “I wouldn’t dream of it. Besides”, he licked his lips.

“I’m just dying to get another taste.”

[irgmugurg]

Belphie's Music Taste

Mammon's Music Taste

Asmodeus's Music Taste

Belphie listening to lofi songs is simultaneously the cutest and funniest thing that I’ve ever heard.

Aw is the bratty little cowboy gonna listen to windchimes and sparkles. Yes. Yes, he is.

Aight hear me out. JUST LISTEN

Belphie listening to country music.

HE HAS THE COWBOY AESTHETIC ALREADY MIGHT AS WELL GO ALL THE WAY.

He’d start it as a joke but he’d gradually love falling asleep to the slow drawl of the music.

he thinks their super cheesy but proceeds to press play

"ugh more country music?" *clicks play*

Or even listening to those sad country army songs about being soldiers and missing your family

He 100% relates these songs to Lilith and having to fight for/against the celestial realm.

AT SOME POINT he’s layed with Beel and they both cried about country music/Lilith (think If Your Reading This and a bunch more by Tim McGraw, Arlington, and Your Gonna Miss This by Trace Adkins)

Butterfly Kisses by Bob Carlise. FUCK. I’M GOING TO CRY.

I know some of these songs are from the point of view of a daughter and their dad but Belphie can’t help but think of being able to grow up and show Lilith how the world has changed.

Doesn’t even care that most of country songs are religion-based and yeah sometimes he gets so angry at Father for what he took from him but he remembers that now Lilith is up there still. Doesn’t make it hurt any less though.

Wishes he could still hold her, see her grow up, him and beel being her best men at her wedding, connecting the human and celestial realm

listens to circus songs and fucking cries

NICKELBACK. (he isn’t THAT bad okay, sometimes his songs SLAP) ((lullaby,,,belphie relates this song to his feelings of overwhelming anger in the attic)

Falling asleep holding each others hands, reminiscing about Lilith and the times they had together.

Mammon and satan, just to piss him off, played the wild west theme songs (The Good The Bad The Ugly theme) whenever he walked in a room and he would go demon mode (only for them to laugh harder, cowboy looking ass)

gets embarrassed if you hear him listening to country music

changes the song quickly, he can't have people knowing he genuinely likes it

listened to If I Die Young once and thought of Lilith

proceeded to block all mentions of this song

Anyway LOFI MUSIC.

He loves how soft and sweet it is even though it doesn’t match his “style”.

This motherfucker can be berated by Lucifer and he’ll put on headphones and just watch Lucifer scream at him and only hear soft Lofi music.

Lofi hip hop, Jazz, pop. He does not discriminate.

Very often gets the beats and small portions of the lyrics stuck in his head.

LOVES Shiloh Dynasty and all the remixes

But that is not the only thing that Belphie listens to. Oh no, definitely not.

Loves nightcore. Alvin and the Chipmunks who?

Alternatively likes listening to slowed down songs

Listens to the front bottoms and thinks about punching lucifer in his face

OUCH! By Matt Watson

HE LISTENS TO SCREAMO AND EMO MUSIC.

MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE, SLEEPING WITH SIRENS, PIERCE THE VEIL.

Emo headass.

Is very much stuck in the 2010s (probably the last era he was able to listen to before getting locked in the attic and since getting out has been stuck there) and if MC introduces him to any more then even 2020 music.

It’s the emotions that he relates so heavily to but it also helps him stay awake to do tasks.

His turn to do dishes? Unearthly screaming comes from the kitchen. Please don’t worry he is just vibing.

He has the screamo voice. He doesn’t use it often because I don’t see Belphie as someone to sing along, more bopping to the music and swaying, MAYBE mumbling under his breath but nothing more.

Will do it with Lucifer around just to fuck with him

Why is the thought of Belphie on stage, smudged mascara, black leather clothes and screaming on the top of his lungs hot????

would 100% let you dress him up in that outfit but acts like he doesn't like it

Stop *bonk* being *bonk* a *bonk* belphie *bonk* simp *bonk*

He doesn’t like making playlists because its so much work so if he puts on Lofi to go to sleep to and he will stay sleeping on wild screamo music.

Listens to it most in the attic because that’s where a FUCKTON of his resentment/rebellious vibes come from and because he doesn’t want to bother Beel while they are sleeping.

Asshole probably doesn’t use his headphones anywhere else tho.

Asmodeus and Mammon don’t understand him but they love him nonetheless.

*demonic screeching* “Okay sweetie don’t forget about the student council meeting later today <3”

If Mammon vibes with a song he WILL scream along, incoherently though because he doesn’t know the lyrics.

Beel just kinda sits there. Doesn’t get it either but loves seeing Belphie look so at peace.

Old man lucifer “is that what you kids listen to today?” (but can he talk?? really?? listening to cursed records bc iTs InTeReStInG)

Satan gets it the most out of anyone else. When they have Anti Lucifer-League meetings Belphegor puts on the most rebellious, and relatable (for their cause) at least, songs and they both scream the lyrics.

he isn't shy showing these songs to you but has once attempted to show off his emo scream please don't laugh at him

OKAY BUT CLEANING UP THE LIVING ROOM WITH BELPHIE WHILE YOU BOTH SCREAM IS SO CUTE

Trophy Father’s Son by Sleeping With Sirens, Can You Feel My Heart, Keep Myself Alive, Sleepwalking by Bring Me The Horizon, Last Resort by Papa Roach, A LOT OF LINKIN PARK, Monster by Skillet, and OF COURSE Bring Me To Life by Evanescence

He probably wouldn't listen to wolf in sheeps clothing but *pointing* THATS HIM

Belphie has spent time crying over these songs. On late nights when he can’t sleep he cries about how he thinks Lucifer doesn’t love him and blames him for Lilith’s death. How MC must really hate him for how he’s acted. How different he is from his brother’s. (part of why he won’t listen to it in front of Beel)

please hold him and promise him that you don't hate him

He also LOOOOOVVES classical music but due to his history with it will not listen to it.

Aka how he used to lay on lucifer’s lap while he plays lullabies for him.

If Lucifer is playing classical music in the area tho? He can’t help but suddenly feel really sleepy. And no he didn’t fall asleep close enough to hear Lucifer scribble away on his paperwork (Lucifer knows he does and always has a blanket ready for when this happens).

lay with him and if you listen very carefully you can hear him mumbling the lyrics under his breath as he runs his fingers through your hair

One of my biggest things about belphie is that he is really smart even though he doesn’t like to put in the effort.

He likes to dissect these songs (typically passing thoughts and really paying attention, he won’t put to much effort into it) and get into them and it backfires because that means he’s really listening to these lyrics and it hits him THAT much harder. (STICKING LITTLE WHITE FLOWERS ALL UP IN HER HAAAAAIIRRRR)

End Note: Belphie doesn't have the largest music selection but the songs he listen to either help him sleep or makes him get all up in his feelings (bc he is emotionally stunted and its the only way he can cry).

[rocorambles]

Not me bumping up in here AGAIN to say now im hust like, its the next day and like reader promised she goes to make it up to iwa and hes like wtf and telL me why all i want is for iwa to beat up makki and have oikawa and mattsun have to pull them apart and then just getting fucking RAILED by iwa later cause he doesnt blame you, not really, but hes still PISSED and JEALOUS and NEEDS to prove that hes the only one that can make you feel good, should be the only one to EVER make you feel good

Really, did Makki think he’d actually get away with what he did to Iwaizumi’s darling that night? 

Part 1 where Hanamaki takes advantage of Iwaizumi’s sleeping/sleepy darling here

Warnings: NSFW, Degradation, Humiliation, Dumbification, Implied/Mentioned Past Non-Con/Sexual Assault

Green eyes narrow down at you in suspicion as you cling onto him all day, eyes brighter than normal, grin wider than normal, body infinitely more affectionate than normal as you nuzzle and purr against him like an over sized kitten. Iwaizumi doesn’t mind publicly displaying his love for you, no stranger to holding hands or a sweet peck here and there despite the raucous uproar it causes among his fellow third-years, but this is far beyond what he’s used to and he wonders what you’re up to. 

But nothing could have prepared him for the way you pounce on him as soon as the two of you have said your goodbyes and packed his car, making your way back home from the sleepover, and he curses as he almost swerves the car when your fingers teasingly creep up his inner thigh, barking at you to stop it and at least let him find a more remote area to safely park the car. 

He’s not complaining as the two of you dive towards the backseat and you push him down, grinding and moaning against his rapidly hardening cock. But something doesn’t feel right and in between sloppy wet kisses and the rustling of clothes, he manages to ask what’s gotten into you, only for his world to come to a screeching halt when you purr that you had promised to make it up to him last night. 

Last night? Promise? 

You cock your head in confusion when calloused hands come to your shoulders, fingers keeping you still and arms length away from him as he sits up and stares at you quietly for a moment before hesitantly asking you what you’re talking about. And something ugly and nauseating churns in his stomach as you recount last night’s events, confusion morphing into sick realization when he remembers exactly who had been sleeping on the other side of you, when he remembers how he had pretended not to notice how a certain teammate’s eyes always seemed to linger a bit too long on you, how he had ignored the way Hanamaki always seemed more interested in you than his own longtime friend.

Acceptance turns to raging fury and you squeal and hurriedly fix your clothes, strapping a seat belt around you nervously as Iwaizumi makes his way back to the front seat, foot slamming down on the gas as he returns to the house you two had left just earlier today, unsure what’s happening, why your boyfriend is so angry. You plead with him to calm down, to tell you what’s wrong. Why are you going back to Makki’s house? You already told them that neither of you were going to stick around for breakfast! 

But all questions slip from you and you stare in horror as Hanamaki cheerily opens the front door when Iwaizumi knocks, only to double over with an agonized howl as the ace punches him in the face. And then there’s a second blow. A third blow. And you’re rushing over to the duo on trembling legs, tightly wrapping your arms around your boyfriend’s waist from behind, sobbing and begging for him to stop, screaming for Oikawa and Matsukawa to come out and help. 

You cry in relief when your two classmates come rushing to see what the commotion is about, swiftly stepping into help, Matsukawa pulling a bleeding Hanamaki away from Iwaizumi’s grasp, Oikawa helping you restrain your lover. But you all freeze at the accusation that comes tumbling out of Iwaizumi’s mouth. 

“How dare you take advantage of my girlfriend, you sick fuck! I thought we were friends!”

There’s silence as you all process his words, the four of you slowly turning to stare at Hanamaki, waiting for him to say something, deny the claim, anything. But when he just turns his gaze to the ground, unable to look Iwaizumi in the eyes, you feel bile rise in your throat and you drop to your knees, shaking and dry heaving, barely cognizant of a broad figure crouching in front of you, a gruff voice still thick with anger, but laced with concern as it tells you to breathe and calm down. And the world is a hazy and confused mess as you’re ushered away, tucked back into Iwaizumi’s car and driven back home as Oikawa assumes his captain demeanor, forcing all parties to separate and cool off a bit first before coming back together to discuss this later. 

It’s silent as Iwaizumi helps you carry your bags to your room, but the click of your bedroom door closing behind the two of you has you throwing yourself at your lover, wailing and apologizing for how stupid you were, how sorry you were, pleading and begging him to believe that you had no idea, that you would never have let it happen knowingly, that you only love him. But you instantly shut up as lips come crashing down on yours, rough and demanding, possessively claiming you as his and you gasp as you’re thrown on your bed with a force that has you bouncing from the impact. 

“Haji-Hajime?”

You trail off, thighs clenching and throat nervously gulping as he stalks towards you, green eyes dark and cloudy, angry and hungry, instinctively backing away from him as he approaches. But that only seems to infuriate him more and you squeal as he pulls you back towards him by your ankles, shoving your panties down and shoving two thick fingers inside of you, swallowing your mewl as his lips once again devour yours. 

It feels so good. Everything feels so good. And your world narrows to his tongue twining with yours, the fingers rubbing your clit and curling inside of you, dragging against the spongy spot inside of you that has you seeing stars, the need to prove and show him how much you love him. You’d do anything, let him do anything. Anything to take away the hurt in his eyes, to erase the doubt you see as he gazes down at you, to reassure him that you’ll always be only his, just like he’ll always only be yours.

“Hajime, want you to fuck me so hard that all I can think about is your cock.” 

Those words have any last dredges of restraint inside Iwaizumi crumbling to the ground and you scream as your leg is thrown over a broad shoulder, as he plunges his cock inside of you in one thrust, an aching pleasure rolling through you from the sudden fullness and intrusion. 

“Going to fuck you dumb. Going to fuck you until the only thing you can think of and remember is my cock. Going to fuck you so silly that everyone will know that you’re MY cock slut.”

He cruelly laughs when he feels you tightening around him with each degrading word, when he sees how your eyes roll back in your head and you blabber incoherently as pleasure spikes through you. 

“You like that, huh? Look at you. You already look and sound like a stupid bimbo, MY stupid bimbo. Maybe I should make you go around wearing a collar with my name on it. Make the message really clear. Maybe I should lock you in a chastity belt at all times unless I’m fucking you. Make sure no one else can get inside this sloppy slutty cunt.” 

You moan at the thought, humiliated tears streaming down your face, but it only makes you even more aroused and Iwaizumi almost cums right there and then when you obediently nod your head and tell him you’ll do whatever he wants, absolutely sincerity in your eyes as you lovingly look up at him. 

“Such a good fucking girl. Now tell me who’s making you feel good? Who’s the only one who can make you feel good? Who’s the only one allowed to make you feel good?” 

Your body tenses and you desperately claw and clutch at his shoulders and back as the knot inside of you tightens and tightens as he increases his pace and bends you even further in half, shrieking “only you” and “please make me feel good”, “make me cum”. And then you’re tumbling down in ecstasy, body thrashing and convulsing, drool and lewd broken cries pouring out of your mouth as his fingers rub your clit, wailing as he continues to ram in and out of you, relentless as he chases his own high in a frenzied flurry of motions that has your nails leaving long vicious scratch marks in his skin. 

You moan in relief and contentment as hot thick spurts fill you, as his body carefully collapses on top of yours, encompassing you in his sturdy and comforting presence as the two of you pant for breath, chests heaving up and down in a sweaty slick mess. But you let out a breathy laugh when he buries his head in the crook of your neck and tightly wraps his arms around you, mentally envisioning the pouting mope you know is on his face despite the fact that you can’t see it from the position you’re in. 

It takes a bit of work to move his dead weight as he refuses to budge and help you, but with a grunt and a push you maneuver the two of you so that you’re both on your sides, face-to-face. And you playfully rub your nose against his, littering his face with butterfly kisses, laughing as his sulking turns into scowling, giggling and flailing when he tucks your head under his chin and hugs you tightly to him in punishment when you grossly lick his cheek and smile victoriously as the corners of his lips finally twitch upwards. 

But eventually he lets you up to breathe and the two of you rest your foreheads against each other. 

“You know I had no idea, right, Hajime? That I love you and only you, right?”

You lean into his touch as a calloused hand cups your face, purring as a thumb delicately strokes your cheekbone. 

“I know. I know it wasn’t your fault and I love you too. More than anything or anyone else in the world.” 

And that’s all the reassurance you two need as your lips intimately connect once again. 

[imaginesupply]

Homecoming - Chapter Four

(Gif's not my own.) 

Summary: The day has arrived, Captain Syverson is going home. For good, this time. He is going home to a civilian life he can hardly remember and a wife he barely knows, with memories of the war still fresh on his mind. Love might not be able to heal everything on its own, but it’s a good start.

Genres: Romance, drama.

Story warnings: Smut (always fully consensual), mentions of PTSD and nightmares and mental health, angst, hurt and comfort, fluff, mentions of war (minor), mentions of cheating (minor), mentions of pregnancy (very minor), police appearance (very minor), violence (very minor).

Notes:

-It’s my first time writing for one of Henry’s characters and I’m unsure I did Sy’s character any justice.

-This is a Capt. Syverson x OFC (Ada) story, written in 3rd person POV but OFC’s physical description is very limited so it could also be read as Capt. Syverson x Reader, I think.

-English is not my first language, so there might be some mistakes. Proofread, but not beta’ed. We die like men and all that.

-Timeline is a little wacky: The movie takes place in 2003 and the U.S. forces were withdrawn from Iraq in 2011, but I never set a precise date because I don’t think it’s essential for this story. However, some elements might not be realistic because if we set this story in 2003: Phone cameras quality was not as good as it’s now, but for the purpose of the chapters, I will need you to imagine you could film great videos with your flip phone haha. Plus, it says Sy is coming back after being deployed for more than three years which makes no sense unless we set this in 2006 or later. I am asking you disregard any time inconsistencies.

-Also: I am not American. I only lived in the US for six months and it was in the Midwest, not Texas so please bear with me if I write something stupid.

-Finally: This will be a Christmas fic and I intend to post the last chapter (there will be seven in total) on or before Christmas. However, religion is never mentioned in this story and the Christmas-sy elements of this story are limited to family gathering, gift giving and tree decorating.

Chapter Four starts after the cut. (Chapter Three can be found here.) Let me know if you wish to be tagged in future chapters or if you wish to be removed from the tag list.

Chapter Four

Chapter warnings: PTSD, angst (or as much angst as I’ll ever write), couple’s fight, outdated expectations of marriage (is that even a warning?), mentions of masturbation.

This chapter is a little different from the previous ones and it’s stitched together weirdly. Also, there’s no smut (which is unusual for me!), but Chapter 5 will be more humorous and lighthearted.

°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°

“When’s your next leave?” Harper asked from behind the wheel, knowing better than to take his eyes off the sand road. He had been transferred to the Special Forces after the whole water pumping station incident, with Sy’s approval.

They were at the very back of the convoy, like always. It was the only way Sy was able to keep all the Humvees in sight and look out for everyone.

“Not sure I’m gonna be seeing home before July.” Sy replied, blue eyes scrunched up as he tried making something, anything out in the darkness surrounding them. Doing this scouting mission at night hadn’t been his idea, but the order had come from higher up and it was when the guards were at their lowest.

Harper smiled, a short huff escaping his chest. “Ah yes! What are you going do once you’re home for good?” The soldier asked, the tiniest hint of teasing in his voice. “Give your wife a small army of Texan babies?”

Sy scoffed, his chest shaking beneath the heavy protective vest. “Eyes on the road, soldier.”

“Yes, captain.” Harper chuckled even as he obeyed the command.

The rest of the drive went by in silence. The whole point of doing it at night was to be unseen and unheard. Confirm it was an armory so that an airstrike could later destroy it. Quick and easy.

Sy absentmindedly rubbed his finger through the thick glove, trying to feel the wedding band beneath. He never took the thing off, but it still somehow eased his mind to make sure it was there – make sure she was there across the ocean. They had talked on the phone the night before and he could still hear her shriek as she stubbed her toe on the doorframe whilst pacing around the house as she spoke to him. She wanted to order new tires for his pickup truck because she was afraid the current ones would be expired once he got back. He told her not to worry about any of that, but she insisted and then asked about Aika, changing subjects. No matter what they talked about, he always slept better after hearing her voice.

The landscape changed ever so slightly. They were there, right outside the deserted town’s walls. Sy gave everyone the order to pull up and get ready. It was only when he stepped out of the Humvee, his feet landing swiftly on the soft sand and the cold night’s air hitting his face, that he realized that Sy had been there already. He was dreaming again.

He had been there hundreds of times, taken the same steps, given the same orders and run away from the same explosion. After having the same nightmare night after night, the shock and the surprise element had lessened, but the dread remained unchanged. Sy was cursed to relive the same scene again and again, for moments even wondering if he lacked imagination so much that his mind was unable to come up with anything else.

Still, every night, he'd try changing the outcome, attempt to take control of his past self and make different decisions: refuse the mission, take a different team, catch Lieutenant Wilkins before he had a chance to run into the trap. It never worked. The result was always the same with him shouting for everyone to retreat and grabbing on to the back of Wilkins' uniform, trying to drag him out of the building, unsuccessfully. Then the telltale detonation followed, the building shook and they were thrown backwards with the explosion. When Sy landed on the concrete, there was a corpse - or what remained of it - on top of him. It was what had shielded him from the worst.

He once tried to warn Wilkins about the child's voice asking for help, to tell him it was a trap and that they needed to ignore it, but he was unable to speak. They were there, on the exact spot, a large room right down the stairs with no windows or lights, only three parted doors. Unlike the first time, the real time, he knew what was about to happen, through what door the grenade would be thrown out of before rolling on the dusty ground. And he went through it all over again.

It was the noise that alerted him the first time, the impact as it hit ground and then the rolling sound on the uneven surface.

"Retreat!" Sy heard his own voice shout loud enough for the rest of the team behind them to hear, then an echo of hurried, heavy footsteps followed.

He knew what happened then. Sy waited for the faint, unidentifiable cry for help and for Wilkins to blindly bolt towards the voice, the grenade.  He knew he'd unable to stop him this time just like all the others. What was the point of making him relive the same failure over and over again?

"Help!"

Sy froze on the spot, unlike all the other previous nights. This time it was not a random infantile voice. It was Ada's. She was crying out for help, for him.

This time it was him who dashed after the voice, the grenade exploding before he could reach her.

°°°

Ada thought that they had dodged the bullet, that they had somehow managed to avoid all the stuff she had crammed her head with when she had found out Sy was retiring from active combat sooner than expected. The notes she had taken, the websites she had visited, the therapists she had researched and ranked according to online reviews; she had started to think none of these would come in handy. Apart from that small incident when grocery shopping and the whole thing with Tom, Sy was okay, they were okay. Or so she thought.

It only took maybe eight days of Sy being back home to find out that wasn't true. It was almost like when you took a plane and fly halfway across the globe. The first days you’d eat dinner at 3am and go to bed three hours later and nothing felt real. Then it settled in. But this wasn't a spontaneous holiday or a mid-life crisis, this was an honorable discharge. Sy wasn't leaving behind an unsatisfying career, he was leaving the war.

He came home. They reunited, caught up with each other, basked in other's presence. Ada had to keep reminding herself that she could fall asleep at night without the anxiety of feeling like she was wasting away his leave with something as frivolous as sleep.

Only sleep wasn't frivolous, Ada soon came to realize. Sy slept well the first few nights back home. The exhaustion helped, so did sex. Sy would kiss her, roll over, pull her into his arms and fall right asleep after it.

That changed quickly. On the eight night, she woke up to pee hours before dawn only to find his side of the bed empty. She found him downstairs playing on his new console. It was the jetlag that made him unable to sleep, he said. Ada knew better, even as she acquiesced.

The following night, after making love and taking care of her, Sy didn't even bother pretending he was going to bed. "I won't be able to sleep anyways and I don't want to keep you up," he claimed, putting on a t-shirt and some sweatpants before going out for a run. It was past midnight.

After going two days with barely shutting his eyes, Sy did finally fall asleep in bed with her. Ninety minutes later, he was awake again.

"You okay?" Ada groaned softly, forcing her eyes open but it was too dark to see anything. She had woken up with his tossing and turning.

"Yeah, just go back to sleep," Sy replied dismissively, turning on his side and facing the window away from her.

Ada was about to do just that, believing his words in her incoherent sleepiness, when her hand touched his clammy back. He had managed to sweat through his t-shirt, but his skin remained icy.

"You're not okay," she whispered to herself before switching on her small bedside lamp and sitting up.

"I told you to go back to sleep, Ada," Sy protested, still facing away from her.

She shook her head softly and tried to pull him into her arms, but he was too heavy, and she couldn't move him without his help. "If something's wrong, you can tell me, you know."

She waited in silence for him to answer, to say something, anything at all. She had planned on watching podcasts, meeting with veterans and whatever she could do to help, but Sy had come home several months earlier than planned and she didn't know what to do, what was expected of her as a wife, as his partner, as his support person.

"Alright, you don't have to talk if you don't want to," she attempted quietly, sliding back into bed and moving in behind him, doing her best to be the big spoon for once. "We can just cuddle until you fall asleep."

Apparently, that turned out to be the wrong thing to say. Sy jumped out of bed as if her touch had burnt him. "I'm not a fucking child, Ada. I don't need your cuddles."

She flinched at his tone, taking a deep breath but her voice still came out strangled. "I was not implying you were a child, Sy. I just thought - no - I just hoped that you would find some comfort with me," she admitted but he was already getting dressed, sweaty skin and all. "Clearly I was wrong."

His face was red behind his full beard. He was pissed, she could almost feel him buzzing as he tried to restrain his anger and not - she didn't know what he was keeping himself from doing. Whatever it was, Ada was sure his next words hurt just as much as whatever he was initially going to do.

"I don't need you to fucking comfort me, woman!" He spat out, putting on a pair of boots. "I don't need anyone's help and certainly not my wife's!"

With that, he marched to the bedroom door, forcefully throwing it open. "I'm going out for air. Don't wait up for me."

They barely saw each other the next day. Sy texted that he was going to spend some time with his mom. Still hurt and offended, even though she knew this was not about her, Ada left for the day without telling him her whereabouts.

She took her car and drove to the animal shelter to help out. No one was expecting her there, but they gave her some work to do and it did help her feel better for a couple hours at least. But it was barely noon when she was done and she refused to go home, meeting up with friends instead. None of them asked why she wasn't at home practically glued to Sy. They were used to their friend pretty much vanishing off the face of the Earth whenever Sy came home for two or three weeks, but they were wise enough not to question it.

His words had stung. Ada was aware he had been mad, and that people always said dumb stuff when they were mad, but she did find some truth in his words. Why would he need her comfort? Her help? Or even a wife at all?

Sy had lived thirty-three years without knowing her and then three more married to her but living continents' apart. He could command soldiers, lead missions, plan attacks and whatever it was that he also did back in Iraq. The house was his, his mom would be overjoyed to cook for him and do his laundry again if he didn’t want to do it himself and Ada didn't kid herself - if he wanted sex, all he had to do was walk into a bar.

So, technically speaking, she knew Sy didn't need her. He was a grown ass man who could survive on his own better than ninety-nine percent of the population. What had hurt her was that he didn't want her, nor her help or her comfort. And if he didn't want her to try and make his life a lil' bit better, what was even the point.  Ada didn't know and all the cocktails she consumed didn't provide an answer either, but they did end up forcing her to eat almost her own weight in food to soak up all the alcohol before driving back home at ten.

She was still fishing out her keys to open the front door, when Sy pulled it open with so much force, it almost flew off its hinges.

"Where the fuck have you been?!" Sy shouted as soon as she set a foot inside.

"I was out with friends.” Ada took off her shoes by the door. "How's your mom?" She looked up only long enough to find him staring down at her with his thick arms crossed in front of his chest.

"I sent you a dozen texts and called you just as many times, but you never picked up." Oh, his tone had switched to that unsettling calm before the storm.

"I apologize, my phone was on silent," Ada replied. It was true, though she had still noticed his calls and texts. "Look I am tired, and I am going to take a shower." She said before walking upstairs to their bedroom.

To her surprise, Sy followed her up, stopping only at their room’s threshold as if he weren’t allowed inside without her forgiveness. "I am sorry for yesterday," he sighed, leaning against the doorframe.

“It’s okay.” Ada shook her head, undressing rapidly and balling up her dirty clothes to throw them in the hamper. She smelt like a whole bar and she was desperate for a shower.

“I didn’t mean it, what I said,” he added, finally walking inside the room but still keeping his distances.  

“It’s okay, don’t worry.” She reassured him, disappearing inside the en-suite. This was just a fight. Couples had them all the time. Sy had even apologized. “I am sorry too. For today.”

His voice startled her, Sy was closer than she had expected. “Do you have need for me?” He asked, making her still as she bent down to fetch some fresh towels from the drawer. Did she have need for him? Ada frowned even though he couldn’t see her face. She heard him sigh again behind her.

"I felt useful back in Baqubah. I ran that city, commanded soldiers, gave my country something and then an explosion happens, two of my men die. And you know what they do? They send me home. Not to punish me for fucking up; they send me home because they thought I had witnessed enough shit and deserved an honorable discharge. Whatever the reason, my services weren't needed there anymore."

"Then I come home to my wife, to you, Ada. And you know what?” He asked before providing the answer himself. “The doors don't screech, the mirror has been replaced and my wife doesn’t even need me to take her out on dates or to the movies because she already has someone for that. So really, what's my goddamn purpose here? The house doesn't need me. You don't need me. Even my mother doesn't need me what with her new boyfriend. So why the fuck did I come back?"

He paused and Ada took it as a chance to stand up and face him. She didn’t know what this was. His voice wasn’t loud, he wasn’t shouting, and his posture didn’t appear hostile. They weren’t arguing, this was something different. “That’s not-” Sy cut her off.

"Then, last night, I realize that while you don't need me, I sure as hell need you, Ada. And that's not how I imagined my marriage would be. I should be the provider. I should be taking care of you, not the other way around."

"This is not the 1950s, Sy," Ada chuckled faintly despite herself.

"That don’t matter. It's how I was raised: preside, provide and protect. I don't care about the presiding part; I knew from day one that I'd never be able to boss you around and I didn't want to. But I still very much believe in providing for and protecting what's mine, and instead, you're the one doing that. So, not only did I fail my men back in Iraq, but now I’ve failed you too."

“No. Stop right there.” Ada interrupted him, more forcefully than intended. "Okay, first, you never failed me. Don’t you ever say that.” Sy huffed from his spot by the door, clearly unconvinced but she was determined to get this out. “Second, I... I think you need to stop settling for being needed and instead accept that you are loved, at least by me."

Sy stiffened against the doorframe, his face taking over an unreadable expression beneath his beard. Shit. Did she mess up again? "Did I say something wrong?"

He didn’t reply right away. Ada took a few steps to him when his words took her by surprise. "You said you loved me."

She stopped in her tracks, opening her mouth and closing it again a few times, stammering. Confusion was evident on her face. "Well, yeah."

"You've never said it before," Sy explained, the hint of a smile on his lips.

Ada frowned, a little unsteady on her feet as she thought back. "Are you certain? I'm pretty sure that is what I ended all our phone calls with."

He shook his head. "I meant in person.”

"Oh, I never realized.”

The cold bathroom tile floor was not the place either of them would have picked out under different circumstances, but it was where Sy finally allowed himself to be cuddled into the warmth of her embrace for the first time, his head resting against her naked breast with her slow heartbeat lulling him into a different kind of peace. “I do love you, Sy.”

Ada was no fool, this wouldn’t soothe all his troubles, but for now, it was a start. And that was all she could ask for.

°°°

Sy sat down on the chair in their study. Most walls were covered with Ada’s textbooks from floor to ceiling. He huffed at the sight. If you’d told him five years ago that he’d end up with an academic wife, he’d have laughed in your face. Now, he tested touched the shelves, watching them wobble slightly and decided he ought to build her something sturdier.

First, he had to take care of some administrative bullshit for the new job he'd be starting at Camp Marbry in January. He had always hated bureaucracy but there was no escaping it. He had learned it the hard way as a private. Maybe it was also time he started going through their utilities folders. Ada had taken over all of it when they got married, managing their bank accounts and paying the bills. Sy hadn't taken of that shit in years but he probably should relieve her of some of those chores.

His eyes wandered over to the neatly organized shelves under the office desk, trying to find the correct binder when his attention landed on what appeared to be a fancy silver notebook. Was that the one Tom had mentioned?

Sy knew he shouldn't go through her stuff, but he was curious and it was not like she had hidden it or anything. Ending his hesitation with a shrug, he picked up the notebook only for stray bits of paper to immediately fly out and land on the carpeted floor. "Shit!"

He bent down and gathered them all up quickly in his hand, lest Ada find out he was snooping and chide him like a soldier. He sat back on the chair and started reading through some of the bits and slips of paper he had caught: "shaving gel not cream!", "dog treats (the fancy ones)", "boxer briefs in L"... They were all dated too. Sy figured they were just old shopping lists until he opened the notebook.

The first part appeared to be a logbook of sorts with notes about each and every one of their calls for the past year. Sy went over some of them, grinning despite himself. He never imagined Ada took notes during their weekly phone calls.

"Sy says it's really cold at night in the desert."

"He seems a little down..."

"Aika has a sweet tooth." Damn, he missed that dog!

“Explosion. Two men dead.”

He skipped over the next few pages, remembering it all too well. After the logbook part, came a set of lists, all dated. "The monthly care packages," Sy realized, reading through them and concluding that this was where the bits of paper had fallen from.

All the care package lists were cross-referenced with the calls logbook. Sy had never understood how she always managed to send him exactly what he needed. He wasn't even aware that he had mentioned most of these small things to her. Most of the time, he didn't even understand how she managed to fit so much stuff into those small USPS boxes. Whenever he tried putting everything back in the cardboard box for safekeeping, half of it didn't fit back inside.

He flipped through a few more care packages before landing on a particularly long list. The date was highlighted, it was the package he had received on the month of his birthday. Ada had made him promise not to open it before the 18th. “You can open the box, but I will know if you open the present before your birthday, Sy,” she had warned him on the phone, trying to sound very stern.  “And if you do, I’ll come to Iraq just to whoop your ass.” He had laughed so loudly, Harper had knocked on his door to make sure he was alright.

Sy laughed again as he went over the list, remembering how the private from the deliveries and postal department kept on complaining because packages this big were 'not usually authorized' and that he was getting 'favor treatment' because he was captain and that Ada shouldn't even have been allowed to ship a box exceeding the maximum dimensions. Sy had taken the package from the soldier and asked if he fancied a trip to the infirmary. That had shut him up quickly.

There had been candy (no chocolate because it had melted through its packaging once when she had tried sending him some), gum, the two first James Bond novels, dog treats, a new photo of his niece and nephew, underwear that was way too fancy for him and a handwritten letter from Ada.

What had immediately caught his attention was the very neatly wrapped gift box with a big red bow and a small card that reminded him once more not to open it until his birthday and only when he was alone.

Sy laughed, remembering how giddy he was to open that damn box. They'd gone on a recon mission on his birthday and when they got back, everyone was exhausted and dirty. He had hurried to the showers, cutting off some soldiers and then rushed to his private room to open the gift.

In all his adult life, Sy could only remember blushing three times, two of them the same day. First was when Ada said 'I do’ and he tried sliding the ring on her finger, but nervous and tipsy like he had been, the damn tiny thing slipped off his hand and fell on the carpet. Second was when the limo supposed to bring them back to their hotel was caught up in traffic, and the two of them decided to get it on in the chapel's storage room while another couple was getting married. Not only did they promptly – and accidentally, might he add – knock over all the props, he literally ended up fucking her through the cheap and unstable dry wall. The look on the couple’s face had been priceless!

The third time was on his birthday. Inside the box, he had found a handful of professionally made photos of Ada in lingerie and sometimes not even that much. If that didn't have his mind spinning and his dick throbbing after so many months away, he certainly couldn't believe his eyes when he found a small tube of lube and a transparent fleshlight.

It was not the gift as such that made him blush. The photos had him beyond excited and he was all too eager to try out the fleshlight. No, the embarrassment only settled in afterwards. More specifically when Sy remembered that despite having a private room as a captain, the washrooms where shared and he found himself cleaning the fleshlight in the sink with the little water they had, hoping no one would see him.

"Oh shit!"

Sy jumped in his chair at her voice, he hadn't heard her get home, let alone upstairs.

"Fuck. You weren’t meant to see that, Sy.” Ada babbled, quickly walking up to him with a sheepish look on her face.

Sy smiled, interrupting her as he seized her hips and pulled her down to sit on his lap. "It’s okay, darlin'."

Ada's eyes widened incredulously. "Really? You’re not even mad at me for meeting with a therapist to get advice?"

Sy closed his eyes, nostrils flaring for a moment. Right. Admittedly, he had not yet made it to that part but while he wasn't exactly keen on discussing his private life with strangers, he felt no anger at finding out that Ada had tried to look after him. Her words from last night had somehow made it through his thick skull.

"No, I'm not angry, not even for that. I know you were just trying to-"

Sy opened his eyes again at her silence only to find his wife grinning like the Cheshire cat as she looked at the open page on the notebook.

"You didn't even make it that far, huh?" She chuckled, pointing at the list. "Nope, you were still stuck with that ridiculous birthday gift I gave you!" While her tone was accusatory, Sy could see that she was trying not to burst out laughing.

Rolling his eyes, he pried the notebook from her hands and set it down on the desk. "It was not a ridiculous gift. I kept it all," Sy reassured her, pressing her body closer to his. "Well, not the lube. That was gone in weeks. And the photos are definitely a little used now but-"

Ada kissed him out of the blue, shutting him up. "Sy, I really love you but you're giving me secondhand embarrassment right now."

The bear of a man laughed, holding ever impossibly tighter before kissing her forehead. "I love you too, wife." Then, another thought crossed his mind. “Do you think it’s possible to send a care package to a dog?”

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