#I’m proud for finishing this. it was a little success I needed for myself

[kimtaegis]

some original materials I made for this one here

[youaintnothinbuta]

“A little extra encouragement was all you needed.”

Summary: you have trouble orgasming and don’t know why. Jack is determined to figure out what’s going on and make you orgasm. Spoiler: he’s successful.

Pairing: jack kelly x fem!reader

Word count: 1760

Warnings: SMUT, 18+, unprotected sex, p in v, oral sex (f receiving), and as always, probably typos.

Request something here !

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“Jack.” You mumbled his name, his head looking up from being buried between your thighs.

He broke the suction between his lips and your skin, a quiet popping sound as he did so. He inhaled deeply, partly to get some more oxygen in his lungs from all the sucking and kissing he’d been doing, but mostly because he knew what your next words were going to be.

“I don’t think it’s gonna happen.” You sighed, disappointed. Not in him— never in him. You had always had trouble finishing, no matter what. This time was no different, and he always felt immensely guilty for the fact that you couldn’t even describe the sex you two had as love-making because it wasn’t— it was him fucking you until he came and then trying (unsuccessfully) to bring you to orgasm after with whatever energy he had left. He did everything right, and nothing ever felt bad necessarily. Actually, the opposite. You couldn’t understand it. He described it to you as this feeling that starts in your tummy and gets closer and closer until you have no control of your body, but no matter what words he used, you never could relate to what he was describing.

He whined, tucking your skirt back over your legs, crawling up to lay his head on your chest, “I’m sorry.”

“It’s not you, Jack. Maybe I just can’t.” You ran your fingers through his hair, slightly damp with sweat.

“No,” he shook his head, his voice laced with determination, “I have to— you have to. What if we try something different? Can you show me what you do when you masturbate? I mean, what you do to get yourself to cum?"

You sighed, his head falling with your chest, “I can’t even get myself to finish.”

He really felt bad now, and a little shocked. “So you never had an orgasm before?”

“Don’t think so.”

“You’d know if you did,” he shook his head slightly. Of course, sex isn’t just about cumming but it’s a pretty big part of it, he just wanted you to feel the way you were making him feel. Every time he brought you close, the crescendo would slip away, and he ached at the thought that he couldn't quite take you there.

He laid on your chest for a while, both of you silent, you almost drifted off to sleep, but he couldn’t— too busy thinking about you.

A few days had passed, and you and Jack were once again cuddled up in his bed, you tucked neatly into his chest. He’d done a lot of thinking, about your situation.

“Are you self conscious, do you think?” His spoke, his question rather out of the blue, earning a confused and slightly offended look from you.

“I mean, do you find it embarrassing? The thought of having an orgasm.”

He was met with silence. Trying to salvage his point, he continued, “I just mean, I know girls are made to feel guilty for—“

“Jack,” you laughed a little at his ramble, “I think you might be right.”

“Really?” He asked, shocked yet somewhat proud of himself. “I— okay, can we— can we talk about it? Why do you feel embarrassed?” The excitement in his voice pulled him upright, and he held you close as he sat. It was as if he had stumbled upon a piece of a puzzle he was determined to solve.

You smiled at his eagerness. “I just, I don’t know, I like watching you cum, it’s sexy. I just feel put on the spot, like I’ll do something weird or make a weird sound or I don’t know— I don’t know what I’ll do.”

He scoffed in disbelief, “look at me when I say this, darling,” he spoke, his finger pushing your chin up so your gaze could meet his, “I want to hear every noise that pretty mouth of yours makes when you cum, okay? I need to see and feel you cum underneath me. Trust me, there's absolutely nothing you could do that would make me doubt you're the sexiest person alive. You understand?”

Your cheeks flushed bright red, you felt like you were overheating. Partly because of embarrassment, partly because, well…woah. You already knew everything he just said, sort of. But to hear him say that explicitly in words— you didn’t know if you felt more turned on or comforted.

“Do you understand?” He repeated himself, a gentle smile gracing his lips as he pressed a kiss against your rosy cheek.

“Yeah.” you murmured, your voice carrying a quiet intensity as his words reverberated through your thoughts. Shifting your face, your lips found his in a tender collision, a kiss that initially held sweetness but soon escalated. With a gradual increase in fervour, you leaned into the kiss, pressing against him with some urgency. Your fingers curled around his shirt, gathering the fabric tightly within your fist as each of your lips were coated in the others’ saliva.

Jack’s hands worked their way over your body, unclipping, untying and removing all your clothing, piece by piece, until you were bare in front of him.

“My beautiful,” he kissed your chest, “beautiful girl.” He kissed it again, moving down to your breasts, before gently pushing you back and continuing down your tummy to your thighs.

“Baby, look at you, huh? Just drippin for me.” Your body jumped slightly at the touch of his index finger running through your slit, gathering a string of your wetness on his finger. You whimpered involuntarily as he rubbed your fluids between his thumb and fingertips, wanting his hands to be back on you instead.

He got comfortable between your legs, one arm gripping your thigh, holding your leg up to give him better access, his other hand on your tummy, tracing delicate lines with his fingertip over your skin. You felt his breath lightly against your sensitive skin, so desperately waiting for the moment he would decide he’d teased you enough. You knew better than to squirm around though, for the more impatient you’d act, the longer he’d smile up at you and chuckle at your desperation.

A small gasp left your mouth as his warm lips met those of yours between your thighs. He worked his tongue over your clit, up and down and in circles, groaning as he did so, just to make sure you could hear how much he was enjoying himself— something he thought might help you feel comfortable enough to orgasm.

“Jack,” you tugged on his hair lightly, pulling his face off of your body, “please, I need you.”

“Okay, sweetheart.” He panted, catching his breath as best he could, while also stripping himself of his clothes as quickly as he could. He lined up his hips with yours, letting his hard cock sit against your clit, ever so slightly rubbing back and forth, feeling the wetness of your arousal and his saliva on himself. He reached for your left hand with his right, holding it beside your head, gently interlocking fingers with you, before doing the same thing with the other hand.

He slowly pressed into you, placing small kisses on your forehead as he inched his body further into yours.

“Good girl, sweetheart. You feeling okay?” He asked once he’d gotten all the way in, holding still as he let you adjust to him.

“Yeah, I’m good.” Your reply was hushed, most of your focus on relaxing your muscles around him. He always let you take as long as you needed to, just happy to hover over you and make sure you’re okay as he waited for the familiar feeling of your walls loosening around him.

He began thrusting, in and out, slowly at first, gradually increasing his pace, talking to you as he did so, “god, ‘feel so good.”

You began to whimper, as you normally did. It never really went passed whimpering and whining when it came to the sounds you made, but this time. He was determined to get you to let go, to get you to understand that you don’t have to fight the feeling of pleasure.

He placed his mouth by your ear, letting a string of mumbles and whines tumble off his tongue as he continued to thrust in and out of you. He brought his gaze back to yours, watching your expression. He noticed your jaw begin to open, and brought his voice to continuous, desperate, fervent moans, noticing your jaw begin to drop more as his volume increased.

“Let me hear you, sweetheart, I need to hear you.” He encouraged, realising he was approaching his own climax.

You did as he instructed, your voice starting off quiet, but as he joined in, masking your sound with his, you were able to release moans and whines that he’d never heard before. Suddenly, you felt it. You pushed his hands off of yours and instead dug your nails into the skin of his back, not knowing what to do with the intense feeling that was quickly building inside of you. Your whines now completely uncontrolled and desperate, he knew you were close.

“Let it out, baby, come all over my cock, I need to see you come underneath me.” He encouraged once again, not daring change his pace, no matter how hard he was fighting the beginning of his own orgasm.

With your hands frantically switching between gripping his back, his hair, and the sheets beside you, and a few more pumps of his cock, your arms flew around his neck, hanging on as your body convulsed and shuddered against him with a moan of release.

“That’s a girl.” He whispered as you unraveled beneath him.

The sight, the feeling, the sound, he couldn’t wait a second longer, spilling out into you as he erratically got those last few thrusts in, as deep as he could, before pulling out and watching you ride out your first orgasm in front of him. He watched as your chest rose and fell, as you brought your knees up and shut your legs tightly together, toes still curled. Still panting, he leant down to kiss you.

“How do you feel?” Jack asked.

“So good,” you mumbled, “thank you for helping me.”

“No need. A little extra encouragement was all you needed.” Jack smiled with a little shake of his head, getting comfortable in bed beside you, his arm wrapping around you to hold you as you both just enjoyed the moment.

He pressed a kiss to your forehead.

“I love you.” You smiled, pressing one back on his forehead.

“I love you, too.”

[kvthgok]

Surprise? | Miguel O’Hara x Teen Spider Reader (Platonic)

Warnings- none

Summary - Durning a mission you get hurt and try to hide your injury from Miguel

Side note - IM SO SRRY YALL THAT I HAVENT BEEN POSTING LATELY 😭🙏. SOMEWHAT PROOFREAD BTWWWW (ALSO to those who did request ideas I DID read them and am currently writing them 🤍🤍)

It was like any other day in the spider society. Fighting and sending anomalies back to their earths. But things had taken a slight little turn.

You had asked Miguel if you could tag along on a mission with him. It had token some convincing but half of it was just you begging. Miguel didn’t really like the thought of you going on actual tricky missions. He would normally send you on missions to catch the anomalies of the week. But not serious dangerous ones, especially the new anomaly Spot.

As you and Miguel were standing on a building Miguel was going over emergency plans.“Okay kid if anything goes downhill and you open a portal back to HQ immediately. I’ll be fine and finish up the mission myself.” Miguel looked at you trying to reassure you that he would be fine if you needed to leave.

Miguel sighed and then looked at the mission in front of you. “Ok you ready?” He asked you. His tone shifted back to a bit more stern and serious.

Yup!” You Said putting on my mask

The two of guys both put on your mask then swung off the building to the chaos down there.

Skip time after fight (cuz I’m to lazy & suck dookie at writing fight scenes🤭)

Miguel had met back up with you and was checking to make sure you were alright.

“You alright kid?” Miguel said having a tiny hint of concern in his voice.

He was about to say something else but stopped himself. He didn’t want to seem to over protective.

“The mission was a success. Good job kid.” Miguel said instead with a slight proud smile

He looked down at you and raised an eyebrow. “Yeah you alright kid? You didn’t get injured out there right?” He didn’t look too concerned but he had that same small hint of worry in his voice.

“Mhm yeah im fine.” I Said with a Small smile.

You had lied. Your hand was hurting like a bitch. The anomaly had stomped on it while fighting. You only lied to Miguel so he didn’t have to worry. Your lie seemed to work though.

Skip few days

These past days Miguel has noticed you had been laying off one of your hands and questioned you one night about it.

“Kid remember that time on the mission when you told me you weren’t hurt?” Miguel asked with a neutral expression.

“Yeah..why?” You said trying to act normal.

Miguel sighed and looked at you for a few seconds. “Don’t try to act like your normal. I’m not that stupid. Show me your injured hand.” Miguel’s tone had shifted back to being stern.

You still tried to act like you didn’t know what he was talking about.

He sighed out of annoyance and called out for Lyla telling her to scan you. She did find something. Your hurt hand.

Miguel was more annoyed then anything at this point. He had known you were lying to him this whole time. “So your telling me you’ve kept this injury hidden for a few days and didn’t tell me?” Miguel asked you while looking annoyed.

You nervously smiled not knowing what to say, “Surprise?”

He had a pissed off look on his face as he looked down at you, “Your not funny.”

“Why didn’t you tell me you had an injured hand when we got back to headquarters. I could’ve done something about it.” Miguel said with a stern tone.

“I didn’t want to you worry that’s why I didn’t say anything about it.” I said scratching my head looking down

Miguel looked at you for a few seconds. You could tell he was trying not to lash out. He sighed a bit and then spoke. “The next time you have an injury like this tell me please. This injury could’ve gotten a lot worse if you kept quite and let it fester for long periods of time.” Miguel spoke with a gentle tone even though he was pissed.

Miguel looked down at you once more. He could see that you had learned from this mistake. “I get it you didn’t want me to worry. Just don’t make that mistake again.” Miguel said looking a little less annoyed about this.

“Sorry Miguel” I Said in a low tone

“Its alright kid but next time just tell me. I want to make sure your always safe alright.” Miguel spoke with his eyes looking slightly softer and less stern.

[astrasae]

꒦꒷‧˚₊‧꒦꒷꒦ ꒷꒦‧˚.⁺꒷꒦꒷‧˚꒦꒷꒦꒷‧˚₊‧꒦꒷꒦ ꒷꒦‧˚.⁺꒷꒦꒷‧˚꒦꒷.⁺꒷꒦꒷‧˚꒷‧˚

•How do you guys spend time together•

•Little gifts he gives to you•

featuring: Lo’ak, Neteyam.

warnings: none. just fluff.

a/n: pls let me know if there’s grammatical or any kinda mistakes.

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Neteyam

He would take you to go fishing. Even if you don’t know how, he will teach you.

He would take you to a place full of flowers, animals, just a lovely and peaceful place. So you guys can have deep convos and cuddle.

“So I just need to,” I say while trying to catch a fish. “Yeah and keep your hand like this, steady.” He says correcting my hand. “Just like that. Then you can shoot.”

“Okay,” I focus on one fish. I calm myself and shot the arrow. “Y/n! You did it, seysonìltsan!” Neteyam says while smiling at my success. I smile back at him, and go get the fish. “Look, its a big one.” I says happily.

“Tonight’s dinner is from you. Proud of ya” he says. I hit his forearm while laughing.

“Come on let’s go back to the hut.” I say. As we are walking Neteyam stops infront of some flowers. He picks one and gets infront of me. “You know these flowers represent tìyawn, right?” He places the flower on one of my braids. “I know you’ve told that to me like 10 times. Every time we walk by them.” I hug him by the shoulders, he hugs me from my waist. I look into his eyes, that are full of love. I lean to kiss his cheek. He smiles, “Come on, give me a real kiss.” I giggle at his cuteness. We both lean in, and finally our lips connect. I swear this boy’s lips are so soft.

After a good minute of making out in the middle of the forest. “It’s getting late, I think we should really get going.” I say. “Yep, you’re right.” He agrees.

He walks infront of me and a pick a flower, the one that represents love. “Hey Neteyam.” He looks at me and I tug the flower between his braids. He looks shocked. “And now we can match.” I say kissing his cheek. I smile at him and he returns the smile back. “Come on.” We hold hands all the way back to the hut.

He would give you necklaces, bracelets basically jewelrys he makes himself only for you.

And he would make matching bracelets for the two of you.

“Neteyam, Where are you?” I search for him in the Sully’s hut. “Over here.” I hear from the other room. I go inside to see him working with something. “What are you working on?” I ask, trying to understand what he is doing. “Bracelets.” He simply answers. I still look confused. “Bracelets for just me and my girl.” Ahh, now I understand, he’s making bracelets for me and him.

“We don’t have any matching things, so I decided to make us bracelets. I’m sure you’ll love it.” He says. “Well, that would be lovely, and cute.” I smile. Watching him tying the ends.

He finally finishes doing the bracelets, he gets close to me and “Choose one. I mean they’re obviously the same but,” he laughs “just choose one.” He looks at me while I choose the right one. He takes it and ties it to my wrist. It really looks pretty. This boy is really talented.

“Neteyam, It is really pretty. Thank you.” I say and give him a peck on the lips. “Your welcome love, Can you?” He gives me his bracelet, I take it and tie it to his wrist. Being careful not to tie it to much to hurt him.

Then we bring our wrist next to each other. After admiring our bracelets, I jump onto him to hug him really tight. I kiss him all over his face, then finally his soft lips. I look into his eyes, “I love you ma Neteyam.” “And I love you ma Y/n.” We both smile and he leans in for a long kiss. After we pull away, I put my head on his chest, his arm goes around my waist and we just fall asleep just like that.

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Lo’ak

He loves to stargaze, at first he found himself staring at those beautiful stars. Then he started to take you to stargazing with him.

Sometimes you’d sit on the edge of the sea, sometimes laying on the back of Payakan.

It really doesn’t matter where you guys are. As long as you are together, you will have a peaceful time.

I was staring at the ceiling wondering when I will fall asleep. Lo'ak was sleeping so close to me, his head almost on my chest. I know I shouldn't wake him up but, it looks like I'm not gonna get any sleep and its starting to get boring. I shake him a little bit from him forearm, I whisper his name twice anf he finally starts to open his eyes.

"What, you ok yawne?" He whispers with his sleepy voice. He looks a little bit worried, I mean he is right its middle of the night and I just woke him up. “Sorry, I couldn’t sleep.” I say softly. “You wanna go and watch the stars with me?” He asks, “I’d never say no to stargazing with you.” I say as we start to get up.

We get out of the pot, being careful not to wake anyone up. We finally reach the sea and Lo’ak calls for his ilu. He gets on his ilu “Come on,” he offers me his hand. I get on behind him and secure my hands on his waist. “Where are we going exactly?” I ask, putting my head on his shoulder. “To see Payakan.” He smiles. I kiss his cheek and we swim to Payakan.

“Payakan! Where are you bro?” Lo’ak shouts. I sense a movement in the water behind us. “Lo’ak,” I get his attention to me and show him the movement. Payakan comes next to us, telling us hi with his singing voice. “Hey Payakan.” I greet him with a sweet voice. Lo’ak does the same.

We get out of the ilu to get on Payakan. We sit on his back, talk to him a little bit. Then we lay down on his back looking at the stars. “Are you comfortable, my tanhì?” He looks at me, “Yeah,” I hum in ease. I get close to him, I put my head on his chest and he hugs me from my waist.

“Show me again.” I say, “Ok so, that is the star that my dad came from, Earth. And that is, if I’m not wrong, is Saturn. The one that has rings around it.” He explains. I am amazed by his interest in stars and planets. “Lor.” I say, “Hmm, you are.” He says looking down at me. He leans in and gives me a long kiss on the lips. We hug eachother tight, and watch the stars until sun rises.

He’d give you crystals or pretty things that reminds him of you.

He’d find these cool rocks or crystals he finds while he’s on a mission with his brother and father.

I cut some Yovo Fruits while waiting for the Sully boys to come from a partol around the forest. After about 10 minutes, I hear their voices outside the hut. They get inside, I put the fruits into a bowl. “How was your patrol?” I ask them. “Good, except Lo’ak was always talking about you.” Neteyam says. “What?! No I didn’t.” Lo’ak objects, Neteyam and I laugh at his actions. “But, I collected some cool things for you. Come on, I wanna show them to you.” He holds my hand and leads me to another room.

“Um, I saw this between two flowers, it looked shiny, so I got it for you.” He gives me a crystal that looks deep purple. “It’s an amethyst I think.” I say. He smiles and “And this is a normal reddish rock but I think we can make matching beads with it.” I smile at his idea, he always wanted matching things after all.

“And lastly, I’ve got this cute little green crystal. You can make yourself a necklace with it.” He gives it to me, I look at it the little crystal with love. “Thank you. Really Lo’ak.” I say softly. “Its nothing Syulang.” He kisses my forehead. I hug him really tight as a response. He hugs me back, I pull away a little bit to kiss him all over his face. He laughs at my actions.

“Come on, I’ve cut some fruits. And I’m really hungry.” I say while getting up. “Tell me there are Yovo Fruits.” He says behind me. Yovo’s are his favorites. “Yes, they are. I thought you’d want some today.” I laugh. “You know me really well yawne.”

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Yawne: beloved, Syulang: Flower, Lor: Beautiful, Tanhì: Star, Tìyawn: Love, Seysonìltsan: Well Done!

a/n: So I had this idea of writing headcons, this is my first try I think it turned out good. Anyways enjoy reading! And if you have any requests or recommendations, feel free to let me know!

[ros3ybabe]

Life Update After a Few Days: October 18th, 2023 🎀

I’ve been a little busy with school, work, resting, and starting my workout routine back up, so here’s a little update!

I’m getting a tattoo soon! I know the aesthetic of my blog is pink and girly and coquette and I love everything that comes with the aesthetic and the lifestyle but I have an affinity for gothic style/spooky tattoos, so I’m getting a decent sized spider tattoo on my right thigh and I’m super excited! This is the first big ish sized tattoo besides the two small ones I have, and it’s the first tattoo appointment I’ve ever made so I’m really excited. A little anxious, especially for the shading portion of it, but I’m looking forward to how good it’s going to look when it’s finished and how much more confident it’s going to make me!

I’ve started working out at the gym again! My current schedule is three days of weightlifting (pull day, leg day, push day), and two days of just cardio. It feels so nice both mentally and physically to be taking care of myself like this again. I even bought some new workout shorts and gym clothes and I’m feeling better than ever! I’m focusing on improving my mental health right now and working out is doing wonders for me!

I’m working so much right now, but it’s worth it because I need the money for rent, tattoos, gym stuff, groceries, and whatever other necessities and wants pop up. I’m pulling doubles most Saturdays and it’s a little tiresome and energy draining but I’m managing pretty well. I won’t pull doubles every Saturday tho because that drives me straight into burnout and I’m trying to avoid that.

I hit 31 days on Duolingo and I’m at 28 days on Busuu, super proud of myself for keeping up with those two goals for now! I’m still working through the first two lessons of Genki and I’m still using the Kanji app but my studying has been a little bit more spread out because of my busy schedule. I’m trying to learn how to better balance multiple things without hyperfixating on just one and forgetting about everything else. I’ve noticed I tend to do that and that’s not the most productive thing for me.

I think I mentioned in a previous post that I spent a lot of money on stuff from Amazon (and Ulta) and most of it is here already besides the last couple Amazon items coming in today! I love the workout clothes I bought and the fitness/health tracker planner I bought is really interesting. I also got my language tracking bullet journal stuff in the mail so I am super looking forward to starting that up soon. Again, I noticed I tend to hyperfixate on one thing at a time but right now I’m trying to balance all my interests and things I need to do. My current “balance breakup” is: fitness/nutrition, Japanese language study, school/classes and academic success, work/making money, self care (sleep, skincare, reading, journaling, etc), boyfriend time, appointments, and chores/cleaning/housework. Sounds like a lot but there’s 24 hours in a day and 7 days in a week. Not everything has to be done in one day and as long as I manage my time efficiently, then I’ll be successful. I also try to take into account my energy levels, daily tasks, possible “curveballs”, and my current physical and mental/emotional well being. Flexibility is a must in my life but I do like having routines and things to stick to, plan and schedule wise.

I’ve been working on some posts ideas for this blog so it’s not just daily updates and stuff, but actual tips, advice, and my current routines and schedules too, to maybe help motivate and inspire you guys! I have some things in mind currently, so hopefully I can find the time to type them up and post them!

Thank you guys for 850+ followers! I never thought my blog could grow like this and I’m super happy it has! This community has given me such a safe and comforting place where I can just be myself without worry. I appreciate all of you so much!! I hope all of you have amazing days, amazing sleep, amazing skin, amazing grades, and that life is going great for all of you!

that’s pretty much all I have to update you on for now. I will be posting a Daily Check In tonight about how today went as well, to help me get back on track with posting!

til next time, lovelies 🩷🤍

[sobeautifullyobsessed]

Of Magic, Miracles, and Moonlight

a Stephen Strange x OFC Romance

genre: pre-Infinity War, slow burn romance, older man/younger woman, teacher/student to friends to lovers characters: Stephen Strange, Wong, Teyla of Hadeeth (OFC), Moraine of Hadeeth (OC), additional OCs as Kamar-Taj staff rating: general audience to begin with, later chapters contain 18+ material

Ngl - I'm really hoping some of the authors in the Doctor Strange x Reader community will be kind enough to give this a read.🥺🥺 Even more so, a reblog - because I'm quite proud of my writing in this work, and I believe it deserves some love. Maybe some love could see me on my way to updating, even finishing, this WIP. It's lain fallow for far too long!

Chapter One

“Stephen, it’s nearly time.”

Wong’s voice pulled him from his scrutiny of the thick, weathered tome that had become his latest project.  Since the passing of his mentor, the Ancient One, Stephen Strange was one of very few left in Kamar-Taj who made a regular practice of studying the advanced manuscripts, spell books, and obscure histories, which she had amassed during her centuries of service as the Sorcerer Supreme.  His eidetic memory served him equally well in this pursuit, as it had in his previous vocation; as one of the world’s most talented and successful neurosurgeons he had learned the lesson early on—that knowledge was power—though the power he sought now he would wield for a even nobler purpose than those of his previous life.  

“Remind me, Wong…it’s nearly time for…” Stephen let his voice trail off with the question, focusing just a few moments more on the script marking the page before him.

“For the arrival of the emissary from Hadeeth, Stephen,” Wong replied, “As well you know.  Need I remind you that our alliance with Hadeeth goes back nearly four hundred years?”

“Not at all, Wong.  I’m acutely aware—down to the smallest minutiae—of the terms of our accord the with the Hadeethans, having familiarized myself with every scrap of parchment the Ancient One left behind, detailing the particulars of our relationship.”  Strange closed the leather-bound book before him, stretched a mite, and then rubbed thumb and forefinger upon his closed eyelids. “I’ve got a rotten case of eyestrain in the process, but I suppose I’m as ready for this as I can ever be,” he grumbled, “Although I’m not entirely certain why I have to be the one to meet with their envoy.  A Master with years of experience—and not one with barely twelve months--would surely make a better representative of Earth. Let alone Kamar-Taj.”

Refusing to be pulled back into the ongoing debate, Wong remained impassive.  “Of the Masters left in Kamar-Taj, you are the best qualified by virtue of your life experience.  And in the absence of a Sorcerer Supreme, a Master of one of our Sanctums is the best that we can offer.” 

He clapped Stephen on the shoulder, “Accept that you’re destined for this bit of diplomacy, Stephen.  It can’t be anywhere near as complicated as navigating your way through the human brain to excise a pin point sized tumor.”

Strange rose to his feet, favoring Wong with a scowl, “As usual, Wong, your vote of confidence is underwhelming—but I will do my best not to provoke a diplomatic incident with an ally that has had Earth’s back for hundreds of years, and in some hairy situations.”

A young attendant placed the tray with fresh-brewed tea and a sampling of Nepalese delicacies on the low table before him.  Without a word, she filled a cup with the hot liquid, and set it down beside the pot, before sliding a plate of almond honey cakes closer at hand to him.  Stephen nodded, murmuring his thanks—though he was a little too nervous to partake of one of his favorite dishes.  Instead, he stirred a bit of honey into his tea, briefly reflecting on the first cup of honeyed tea he had partaken in this very room, barely more than a year ago.  With a shock to his system, he had been quickly educated as to how very much he did not know about the world, the universe, and the human mind and spirit; and since then, he had learned much more than he would ever had imagined of things he’d never even entertained as plausible.  He considered himself a work in progress, truly humbled for the first time in his life, when he took into account how much he still did not know.

Yet, he had earned the respect of his peers here and—just moments before her death--the Ancient One had appointed him Master of the New York Sanctum.  Strange took that responsibility ever seriously, having seen and experienced for himself the sort of assaults from other dimensions which Earth would be prey to were it not for the ancient protections provided by the band of sorcerers, bound in service to mankind.

The man he once was—before the accident that had deprived him of his livelihood, and the purpose by which he defined himself—Doctor Stephen Strange had the hubris to consider himself the best his specialty had ever known, and the ambition to pursue the loftiest positions of influence and power in his field.  Now, as he split his time between New York and Nepal, he was in a constant quest for knowledge that would enable him to do this job to the best of his ability, while never seeking glory for himself.  He would not—could not, in fact—allow himself to aspire to the title of Sorcerer Supreme…although more often than not these days, he was given--by some silent agreement (to which he was no party)--the deference and the responsibilities that came with that designation.  Today, he would prefer to be a mere rank and file mage—but he could not turn his back upon the service that was asked of him.

Stephen rose when Wong appeared in the entrance way, ushering a stately, robed woman into the room.  “Master Strange, allow me to present Mistress Moraine of Clan Kayolo, member of the Hadeethan Ruling Council,” Wong gave her a nod of respect, before moving to Stephen’s side.    

Following the formal protocol which the Ancient One had chronicled, Strange bowed at the waist before speaking.  “Welcome to Kamar-Taj, Mistress Moraine of Hadeeth.  We are honored by your presence, and offer hospitality and friendship to you, and any others under your protection, for however long you sojourn here.”

She bowed in reply, and recited her opening remarks smoothly, her rich voice that of a woman accustomed to oratory, “The honor is mine, Sir.  On behalf of my people, and in the name of our alliance, I accept your hospitality, Master Strange.”  Moraine paused, studying him closely, before adding, “May the worlds we serve continue to benefit from our partnership.”

Strange motioned her to take a seat, then sat himself, while Wong moved forward to pour tea for the Hadeethan woman; the ensuing silence enough to allow Stephen an observation or two.  She was definitely dignified (royalty was the first word that came to his mind), aloof and otherworldly; she wore her thick, silver hair loose and unadorned, for surely nothing could flatter her more than it’s natural glory; and the only subtle sign of age he could discern, were small crinkles at the corners of her pale grey eyes--but since he knew the average Hadeethan lifespan was upwards of 150 Earth years, they gave no clue regarding her actual age.  There was a palpable feel of strength of will about her, as though her spine were made of steel.  Moraine appeared—in short—to be a power to be reckoned with.  He vowed to tread carefully regarding whatever topic she had arrived to discuss.

She sipped her tea, then nodded her approval, “Ah…it’s been far too long since I sampled this welcoming taste of Kamar-Taj.  Though I regret I shall never raise my cup with the Ancient One again.”

“Her loss remains a heavy one for us to bear, Mistress Moraine,” he replied, a truth he felt most keenly every day, “And nothing would make me happier than for her to be here in my place.”

“I bear the condolences of my people for the dread passing of a wise leader and constant ally,” she told him, “And for myself, I share in your grief; for I had known the Sorcerer Supreme from my youth—as a teacher, then a mentor, and at the last, a friend.”

“I envy you that,” he admitted, “We all miss her guidance—but we have done our best to go forward as we believe she would see fit.”

Moraine narrowed her eyes, looking for the truth in his reaction, “And you do not seek to guide in her place?  To bear the mantle she wore for centuries?”

Stephen shook his head vehemently, “I assure you, I am not that man.  And honestly, I can’t think of anyone who could fill her shoes.”

She nodded, pleased with his reply, than raised her cup.  “It is always so with the best of leaders.  May we all do her proud in the service we provide to our worlds.”

“May we indeed,” he echoed, drinking from his cup as well.

Formalities now aside, Moraine was swift to reveal the surprising purpose of her visit.  “I come on a personal matter, Master Strange.  ‘Tis my hope you will entertain my request, if not for the sake of relations between our worlds, but for she whom we both miss.”

“I am certain we can accommodate you, Mistress Moraine.  The resources of Kamar-Taj are at your service.” 

“Even as I had anticipated,” she asserted, wearing a small relieved smile, “As you may know, Hadeeth has a good share of practitioners of the mystic arts.  And in our culture, this is a thing well-known, even aspired to.  In fact, by long standing tradition, the majority of those who sit on our ruling council are skilled in magic.”

Strange nodded, having gleaned those facts from the Ancient One’s notes, “Magic being the primary reason our worlds are well-suited as allies.”

Moraine bobbed her head in a brief acknowledgement, then continued, “On Hadeeth, we have found that the aptitude for magic, and the strength to wield it properly, are most prevalent in certain bloodlines.  As a result, it is not uncommon for a particular clan to hold a council seat for several generations.”

“I take it that is your own experience,” he inferred.

“It is, Master Strange.  But seats are not granted automatically—and those aspiring to them must pass a series of tests, unique to the individual.”

“And these tests involve the use of magic?”

“Exactly so—and thus arises my need for your assistance,” she admitted.

A bit perplexed, he might’ve asked, but Moraine had anticipated his question.  “Not for myself, Master Strange—for my daughter, Teyla.”  And then surprising him, she added, “A daughter of both our worlds.”

Not having known such a mingling of their races was even possible, it took a moment for him to respond, “You’re asking that we train her here, in Kamar-Taj?”

Moraine’s face took on a pleasant sort of softness, clear sign of the depth of her feelings for her child.  “She has ever been my greatest treasure, and from the moment in which I discerned that she possessed aptitude for the mystical arts, I had planned to entrust my own best teacher with her tutelage.”  She lowered her eyes, her voice become sorrow-tinged, “Who could have anticipated that such a plan would go unrealized?”

Stephen remained speechless, moved by her quiet show of grief.  In the months since the Ancient One fell, he had learned things about her he had never expected—always making him long for the fruits of the wisdom she might have shared with him.

Having set aside her sorrow, Moraine looked to him again, firm of purpose, “Teyla’s skill--her strength—lies in the healing of body, mind, and heart.  And though this ability is a miracle in itself, it does not suit well the sort of trials she is likely to face in the fullness of time.”

The doctor in him wanted to ask more of Hadeethan healing magic, but the situation would not allow for it—though he made a promise to himself to learn more of their practices when possible, with an eye towards the exchange of knowledge that might enable him to fulfill again that purpose of more than half his lifetime.  “What training would best prepare your daughter for these future trials?”

Moraine looked please at his show of willingness, “She will need to develop defensive skills, for both her own safety, and for those who may someday fall under her protection.”  She paused, gauging his reaction, and then concluded, “Teyla also possesses a small degree of prescience, although she is not yet capable of employing it at will.  She dreams, yet cannot tell when the images may come to pass; she has strong, yet unpredictable, flashes of intuition, which she finds difficult to interpret.  This gift is useless to her until she can cultivate the proper wisdom and discipline.”

“There are no teachers on Hadeeth that might guide her?” he asked, “Seers are rare, even in Kamar-Taj.  I can’t guarantee our knowledge is enough to guide her beyond the most rudimentary training.”

“They are rarer still, on Hadeeth,” Moraine shrugged, “So rare they come but a handful of times in each generation.  Though I am her mother, I haven’t even a touch of that gift.”   

Stephen nodded, considering her request a moment.  “We will do our best, Mistress Moraine—but in this case, I can make no promise.”

“I understand, Master Strange.  And with this understanding, I will entrust you with Teyla’s further education.  For the sake of our alliance,” she reminded him, “And for all the hopes a parent has for their child’s safety and happiness.”

They had concluded their meeting by settling upon three Earth days as the interval until Teyla would arrive at Kamar-Taj.  “Of course, we’ll need to see what magic your daughter is already capable of, before we proceed with any training plan,” he cautioned her, as he and Wong escorted her back to the courtyard for her departure.  “Please be sure she understands what lies ahead.”

“Oh, she is already more than prepared for that,” Moraine told him gratefully, “And she has spent a share of time on Earth--living with her father for several years--so you should find she will easily acclimate to your world.”  With that, she drew on her sling ring—the magical tool which the Ancient One had shared with the Hadeethans, in consideration of their partnership—and conjured a portal back to her home world.  Stephen could discern very little of what lay on the other side; a room half lit with what could be daylight, vague shapes that were likely Hadeethan furniture.

Moraine turned his way, and bowed low, and then rose to meet his eye.  “Please keep in mind, Master Strange, that some of the tests Teyla may come to face are dangerous.  I beg you to see she is properly prepared to survive, beyond the training I have already given her.  I will be in your debt, and Earth’s, for the remainder of my days—and look forward to the day when I can be of service to your world, in return.”  She stepped into the portal, and raised her hand in farewell, closing the circle before he could utter a word in reply.

“Well, this should prove interesting,” Wong observed, “How much experience do you have dealing with teenagers?”

“Barely to none,” Stephen confessed, “And I hadn’t counted on being asked to play a schoolmaster to a rookie sorcerer.”

Wong chuckled, amused at Strange’s befuddlement, “I’m thinking diplomacy will turn out to be child’s play, compared to the task you have ahead of you.”

“Yes,” Steven agreed grimly, heading back to the library to continue his studies of earlier. “And I’d much rather be navigating my way through the human brain, then babysit an angsty adolescent.”

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[miraculous-ninjabird]

TLDR for my rant: it’s perfectly okay to admit you are bad at something, say something YOU made looks bad, and/or talk about the ways something you made didn’t live up to your expectations as long as someone does not internalize the message that because they are bad at something or did something bad doesn’t mean that they themselves are a bad person.

Desperately trying to explain to my therapist the difference between ‘I’m a terrible artists’ (self-derogatory and self-defeating) and ‘I’m a terrible artists (I fully acknowledge that I could be better at this skill given time and effort and that all art has value to someone. However. I am specifically choosing not to hone this skill due to a number of reasons and will never consider myself an ‘artist’. Thus, my art will never get better and I am okay with this)

And how I fall solidly into the latter category and how frustrating it is that it’s never seen that way. I say ‘I’m not an artist lol’ or ‘look at my terrible little drawing!” <-worst drawing you’ve ever seen but that’s okay. It’s always, always met by ‘don’t say that! Everybody is an artist!’ And ‘don’t talk bad about yourself and the things you create :(‘ like.

NO!

Some people do desperately need to hear and internalize those messages but I’m not one of them! My art is terrible! That’s the point! I’m never going to be good at it because I’ll never care to but damn if I’m not having the greatest time ever creating terrible art!

I don’t love the online implication (and real world implication when I tried to take art classes) that being okay with the fact I am bad at something is…a bad thing. A simple fact of life is that everyone is bad at something and it’s okay to both admit and be okay with that fact.

Tangentially related but it’s also okay to admit that when you are new at a skill…you’re probably gonna be bad at it. Like. Someone who’s still learning is gonna have some terrible first efforts and that’s the point. It gives you a growth point.

Example: I made a bag. I decided to add a zipper. It did not go as planned and the end result is in fact rather terrible. Simply a fact. However! I put a zipper! In a bag!! And maybe it does look horrible but that is something I’ve never done before and I did it all by myself and I can simultaneously admit it looks awful but be proud of the fact that I figured it out.

Like art I could be content with the success of finishing the project, but I can also use this as a launching point to get better. What I choose to do is up to me and I don’t appreciate people trying to tell me that I’m not allowed to call an objectively terrible finished project as such.

You cannot and will not ever get better at a skill if you are unwilling to accept that you will be bad at it. It makes that learning that acceptance all the harder when people are taught that they shouldn’t ever say bad things about what they make.

Rather than teaching the message ‘nothing anyone makes could possibly be bad in any way (skill wise)’ we would promote acceptance of ‘this is bad and that’s okay’

Thank you for coming to my TedTalk about ‘not every negative self-comment about something someone is self-deprecating’

[ofburningskies]

Just a Lesson

Authors note: Completely forgot I had this one in the drafts. As a singer myself I always wondered what would come of spending so much time with someone who literally sings as his job and what interesting thoughts could come from it. This is basically a little singing lesson that evolves into something else. Might end up writing a part 2, lmk if you're you'd like to read that! As always minors dni, this blog is 18+ even though this fic isn't explicit.

-Quartz

Warnings: Suggestive but not explicit, choking, grinding (if you squint), general allusions towards sex

Word Count: 1.5k

Music. Something was always playing regardless of whose house it was. The source could be disputable whether coming from an instrument of an additional guest, a record being spun, playlists through the stereo system, or mindless singing while going about chores. Spending so much time in the presence of a professional singer definitely had its perks, listening in on mini performances that many could only dream of listening in on, no matter how casual. Even Josh made mistakes like voice cracks or overshooting notes but the intimate setting of it all had a certain charm.

She too was a singer, by no means professional, with a voice following her about her day. Although there was no judgement there were moments in which she found herself shy singing in his presence despite his constant encouragement and kind words of advice. Cleaning up around the kitchen after having the rest of the band over, she softly sang a tune that had been part of her regular listening recently. He quietly listened along, always loving when the air was filled with her music. He took note of small improvements she could make while sorting glasses away, waiting for her a moment to mention it. She soon cut the song off short, resorting to quietly humming it instead as she stood in thought, attempting to remember the spot of a specific bowl.

He turned towards her, “Mind if I give you a tip?” He tilted his head innocently, hoping he hadn’t come off strong.

She turned to meet the source of those words, “Yeah, of course,” She replied with a smile, “Just know I’m not nearly as good as you,” she chuckled playfully, receiving her an unsatisfied yet playful glint in his eye as he took a few steps towards her.

“Make sure you support your air from here,” he started carefully, his fingertips gently tracing just below her ribs, “You won’t get the power you need unless you focus on keeping it stable.” Her centre tensed slightly at the unexpected touch. He leaned in towards her, a natural and often innocent tendency of his while talking. His fingers lingered momentarily as he eyed her expression, making sure she understood as she attempted to stabilise any wandering thoughts as he traced lines over the same spot to solidify his point. This seems to be a rather promising lesson, she silently concluded. “Got it?” He questioned, his voice beckoning and welcoming in tone, receiving him a nod from her.

She took a deep breath, feeling her lungs fill with a conscious focus of the support of her diaphragm once his hand finally left her. Singing the same short melody, she worked to support her voice as he told her too. She watched him gaze at her, focused as his eyes darted between her face, neck, and middle with eyes much too objective to be scanning her body. Upon finishing the line, she felt a heat rise to her face, knowing her thoughts would soon devolve into something much off topic. He pursed his lips, brow furrowed gently in partial satisfaction, a few jagged nods of his head followed as he processed what he had just heard before meeting her eyes. 

She suddenly felt hot under his gaze, taking in a quick breath at the intensity of his look before he gestured for her to try again. Repeating the same instructions, his eyes instantly brightened as he nodded slowly; more successful the second time around. A smile crept to her lips once she concluded, proud to have satisfied such a skilled singer.

“Good job,” a slight lilt of pride took to his voice, the praise alone sending her mind into a whirl, “Now to push it even further.” He closed their gap once again as she instantly felt her heart rate rise. He stepped in close, much too close to keep the settling feeling in the pit of her stomach at bay. She made the mistake of moving her attention towards his face. His gaze aimed at her neck, eyelashes gently curling, lips parted ever so slightly, and curls delicately resting against his forehead. She dry swallowed at the sight, trying her best not to reveal too many thoughts swirling through her head as he innocently tried to teach her.

“Your sound is coming from here,” his fingers traced gently over the centre of her chest, “for what you’re doing, you want to raise it to keep it lighter; get rid of the edge you’re giving it. Right up here-”

He wrapped his index finger and thumb around the base of her throat just above her collarbone with only a hint of force in the touch. Seemingly unaware of the thoughts in her head, he blinked in response to her hitched breathing at the sensation. His hand was warm and firm, confident in its experience and where it was to reside.

He adjusted his hold, reinstating the exact spot she should focus on which only drew a barely noticeable whine from her. Had his hand not been on her throat, he would not have noticed the hardly audible sound without the slight vibration under his fingers. He simply smiled sweetly at her reaction, only causing her cheeks to flush more at the almost dismissive behaviour he displayed, focused on giving her a tame singing lesson.

“Now, with that in mind try it again, sugar,” he spoke with a smirk just ghosting his lips. Oh. He knows. She mentally cursed herself for being too obvious, but then again, he was always much too observant. Their eyes met at once, the tension now much more present than before and impossible to ignore. Yet, they continued the same game. “Maybe hearing an example would help, yeah?” he continued to speak as she was rendered speechless, simply nodding quickly to his words while he finally pulled his hand from her. 

She stood there for a moment simply watching him, unsure of what to do as her thoughts continued to move without restraint, forcing the sight of him alone to overwhelm her. He reciprocated her gaze, a seemingly smug air to his features as he nonchalantly angled his chin slightly up, inviting her to do the same as he was before. She took a sharp inhale, her cheeks flushed as she attempted to calm her nerves. 

She tilted her head down, looking up at him through her lashes as her nails traced over the familiar white fabric on his chest before resting at their destination. She carefully wrapped her palm around the base of his neck with an odd sense of certainty in the action. Solidifying what her true intentions were, he simply met her eyes with a cold confidence before singing his example back to her. The vibrations ran through the hand attached to his neck, concentrated only in that spot and never travelling elsewhere. Stunned by the sheer perfection of his control and the buzz she received from having her hand around him this way, she brought her hand away in a slight daze as she nodded her understanding. 

He quickly reached to grab her wrist, her eyes meeting his once more in questioning. He guided it to rest just above his hip before quickly moving his hand to grip at her throat once more, slightly restricting her air. She gasped at the touch, instantly feeling a rush as his intentions were clearly different this time around. He backed her up against the kitchen island, pulling a groan from her as she felt the countertop hit her lower back.

“Now, what were you thinking about? I thought you’d get a thing or two out of a little lesson but it seems you've been having other thoughts,” He placed a playful bite to her neck on a spot his hand wasn’t occupying, she could feel him smiling against her skin. A single, soft moan slipped past her lips as her half lidded eyes stared at the ceiling. “Use your words,” he whispered, punctuating it with a languid lick along her jaw. 

She forced her hips against his, leaning back into the countertop with a frustrated huff, “You know exactly what I’m thinking. Don’t make me play this game with you.” Her hands scaled up from his thighs to rest in his curls, grabbing his roots and pulling him closer. His hips moved against her in response, forcing another breathless sigh from her at the mere hint of friction. 

He pulled back to look at her, his cheeks flushed, pupils blown and lips damp. He pulled his hand away from her neck as she chased the feeling automatically. He scoffed lightheartedly at the motion looking at her with eyes much too playful for the setting, “Then we won’t play any game at all. Didn’t we have things to do before this anyway?” Although his voice was gravely from arousal, his tone was neutral, almost as though he didn’t just have his hand firmly around her neck. He removed himself from her at once turning around to the sink as she stood leaning back, attempting to make sense of what happened. 

“How about this. We finish what we were working on and then I-”

“You’ll give me another lesson?”

“Yeah, I’ll give you another lesson.”

[cloudys-fics-and-art]

Hey! It’s CureDeity (sorry tumblr makes me ask from my main). I am here, in your inbox today, to rattle my little empty coin can and ask you to list some of your favorite beyblade fanfics! I’m going around asking a lot of people this, so feel free to ignore it if you want, but I thought this might be a good way for people to shout out some of the fanfic they really enjoy! Btw, if you can, I thought it would be helpful to list which site this fic was on so others could find it easier if they wanted to. Also, if you’ve written any fic (or have fic ideas, as we all know, imagining the same scene over and over again is the bread and butter of a writer), please also take this chance to have a massive, amazing ego and tell us which of your fics you're most proud of/is your favorite/etc.

Favorite MFB fics:

Boy was this not an easy question to answer. I’ve been in this fandom for a very long time, so I’ve read many MANY fanfics! In fact! The MFB fandom was my first fandom ever, it’s how I discovered fanfiction at age 13! Another funfact: many MANY fanfics I loved were deleted many years ago. So, I will go with what’s left!

Choosing my favorite fics was a toughie but I did my best to compile them in this answer! (I put links in all the titles, so you just click on them if you want to check them out!)

Life at the WBBA: Written by my lovely long time friend Liv aka Ollie! This fanfic is pretty much a lot of one-shots about the legendary bladers living at the WBBA, this fic eventually inspired my Adoption AU! So…If you want to see the OG, read this!

Almost Got 'Im: Also written by my beloved friend! Based on the iconic episode of Batman the Animated Series, the villains of the show reunite for a poker night while discussing how they almost beat Gingka. Spoilers: None of them did.

How to Make a Successful Match in Only Three Phases: This fanfic is something the lovely Liv actually wrote for me back in the day! As many of you know, I actually came up with the Yuki/Motti ship, and I’ll be honest, I thought I would get kicked out by the fandom. But instead Liv reached out to me and told me they had been inspired to write this thanks to one of my fics! This story is Benkei being a matchmaker, need I say more??

A Season Of Festivities: Now we go to another absolute legend! JuniperGentle aka Pippin! Their fanfics were always an absolute delight and this one is one of the most heartwarming ones! An anthology of MFB characters celebrating their winters holidays! Your fav character probably has a chapter, so give it a try!

Phosphorus: THIS FIC OMG! Okay, so, it’s still unfinished BUT GOSH IS IT GOOD! It’s an AU where Tithi is the one that follows Ryuuga around instead of Kenta!

Kenta's Imagination: This is one of the first fanfics in English I’ve ever read, and frankly, the concept of Kenta playing pretend is timeless!

 Underappreciated: Ever since the old fanfic days, Madoka would get the short end of the stick thanks to weirdos writing hate fics about her like there was no tomorrow. HOWEVER, there were a few good writers that wrote nice fics featuring her. I think this is my favorite, it’s simple, adorable, and it explores her character nicely!

Yu and Kenta's Scavenger Hunt: Literally what the title suggests! The sillies in a scavenger hunt!

The Best Nickname: Hands down THE BEST old fanfic that explores Yu’s and Tsubasa’s friendship. Tsubasa ponders about why he is the only one Yu never gave a nickname to! But little did he know, he has one. Yu is just secretive about it.

What Makes Her Different: Okay, so this one is a bit personal. This was the very first fanfic in English I read by myself without google translator. I was still struggling learning the language, but I loved the few things I understood about this fic, so I would read it over and over until I managed to fully understand it! It’s an abandoned fanfic (the writer had an incident with their old computer and could never finish it). It’s about Madoka suddenly getting sick and her friends taking care of her because she always looks out for them. It might be incomplete but it’s sweet!

As I was writing this list, I realized that most of the fics I like from AO3 are already on your fanfic list, so I decided to not add them. I hope you like this little list of recommendations!

To answer you another question, it is very hard to choose because I love most of the fics I’ve written.

However…I think I would have to go with five fanfics:

The Backdoor: I cannot express how much fun I had writing this. I loved coming up with the bits of Beyblade history, including details from Zero G, and having Yuki and Motti go through this little adventure! I am also pretty sure this was one of the first fics I wrote after I got back into the MFB fandom after many years. Thanks to a silly series of events on Tumblr, I met a lot of wonderful people in the fandom that I’m glad to have in my life!

So a Few Villain Kids Walk Into a Youth Group and...:

Writing this was such a challenge, but I am so happy I managed to finish it! I been having a lot of headcannons about the cult of Nemesis for a long time and this fic is just the tip of the iceberg! I loved writing Johannes dealing with group therapy and having to face the fact that he has friends.

 They Are My Boys:

When I wrote this fic I was a bit scared of sharing this AU with the world. But the fact that it was received so warmly just encouraged me to keep writing!

I'm Not Nice!:

So…Writing this one was a surprise even for me because I have a confession to make…I can’t stand Kyoya. But something about writing a fanfic with everyone dunking on him and his bad boy persona was so fun!

And finally…

The Drawbacks of Being Raised in an Isolated Temple:

So, writing this fic took me a lot of work because I had to talk to a lot of people about some questions I had to make this fic work, and the amazing support I got from those friends made me realize how much I love to write friendship and found family. I loved writing the friendships and dynamics in this fanfic and then the reception was so overwhelmingly positive, I was ecstatic!

There is another reason why this fic means a lot to me, it’s a bit personal but let’s just say that it brought something back to my life and I couldn’t be more thankful!

Thank you so much for this ask! I hope my answer was satisfying!

[gasha40k]

Been a while, but I’m back! In a recent heatwave that hit my city, a bunch of my paints dried up. Included among those were a bunch of my main colors, like Leadbelcher and Retributor Armor, but most importantly, my Agrax Earthshade. I live and die by the wash. They’re a hugely integral part of my painting process, so combined with the fact that nearly all my brushes had either frayed, hardened, or snapped in half, painting was kind of off the table.

For a while, life events had me in a spot where I couldn’t readily replace any of my shit, nor was I in a spot to buy any new kits or bits. And having just started a “bigger” project—segment painting my classic Daemon Prince—I was pretty discouraged from hobby work. But things are coming around and I’ll soon be in a much more stable place that’ll allow me to get my gay ass back in the mines.

Needless to say I am hopelessly addicted to the gradient

So, uh, as a way to sort of ease myself back into painting using two paints that I still had (Abaddon Black and Mephiston Red), I decided to learn blending. I’m still not great at it and I’m not sure I entirely understand the process, but I think that whatever I’m doing is… functional, if not consistent. That being said, it’s super fun. The results are really nice and add a lot to an otherwise very simple model.

Many of my Bloodletters are still primed, so I visited by LGS, picked up some more paints and two brushes, and whipped up a few more of these boys as a way to practice blending. I’m very proud of them! The little horns on the first Bloodletter are a subtle detail and I think that the gradients on the second one’s horns are fantastic looking. I definitely need to keep practicing and figuring out my technique, because at the moment, I can’t tell if I’m wet blending or glazing.

I think I’m doing some insane combination of both. I can’t properly wet blend because I kinda don’t understand it, but here’s my process so far:

Place two colors on palette, both watered down to a normal standard (milky consistency)

Use brush to place both colors next to each other on the model, touching, mixing them together very slightly

Clean brush and mix the borders between the colors, adding more of whichever paint I need to balance the gradient

This is far from efficient and very difficult to control on larger surfaces, but it makes a pretty nice effect when it’s successful! If anyone has tips on how to do this better, I’m totally open to hearing them.

This is maybe the best example I have of my newfound blending skills. This is the torso of my Daemon Prince. I decided to learn blending when I got him in the mail, as the official paint job for this model uses blending as a way to imply the transition between melded flesh and armor. I really wanted to emulate this, and I think I got pretty fuckin’ close. Very proud, and this catastrophic painting dub has definitely reinvigorated my motivation for this model.

I even finished his pants. He is now bepantsed. Dismembered, but bepantsed. Soon he will be whole, and he will be spooky, and he will kill shit. His torso and pants are the only pieces I have primed right now and I’m a little too broke for primer, so I’m just gonna really pimp out his armor before I move on.

I’m going to try logging all of my games this edition using the Tabletop Battles app

I had a lot of strong anti-armor. On the board was a Firestrike and a macro plas Redemptor, and off the board I had a squad of Eradicators in reserves, which are absolutely disgusting in this edition. Much like last edition, funnily enough. I knocked out an opposing Land Raider in the first BR, which gave me a significant advantage as the game went on, and I think it’s what eventually lead me to the win.

Actually got to use my Firestrike for once, which don’t feel like a horrible use of 80pts anymore

I also got the chance to play Combat Patrol with a friend of mine who hadn’t played 40k since before I started this blog, I think. I played my Khorne Daemons patrol against his Sisters of Battle. It was a super steady game until I got my Bloodcrushers in the fray, and then it was kind of a stompfest. As an observation, the Sisters patrol is an excellent counter to the Daemons patrol, because while the Sisters patrol isn’t particularly strong in melee, the fact that most of their units have Invulnerable Saves completely negates the excessive amounts of AP that Khorne weapons have.

This Rhino ended up exploding and killing way too many Bloodletters

I won almost entirely because my opponent was super rusty and didn’t know his unit rules or the mechanics of 10th. Key blunders like misusing his high value melee units and underutilizing his ranged attacks left him super undefended, but considering everything, he played a really solid game.

I really like Combat Patrol. I think it’s a great way to pick up and play, and we were able to set up a game super quickly. Cutting down on listbuilding complexity really allows new players to build and game, and I think it’s a great way to play more casual games. I played a lot of 500pts games back closer to the beginning of 9th Edition, and I can pretty confidently say that Combat Patrol is a lot more balanced than that. Combat Patrol went on well into BR3, whereas the 500pts games of old were usually decided the second your most expensive unit died. This one felt like an actual 40k game. There was a decent amount of objective play, which was noticeably lacking in older 500pts games because it was much easier and much more efficient to just wipe the other army off the board.

In conclusion, it feels good to be painting and gaming again. I’ve also been doing a lot of Horus Heresy reading since the beginning of the year, and I just started Betrayer. Maybe I’ll post about that soon.

[actioncatmusic]

So I’m trying to follow the advice of successful authors to write every single day. I set my daily goal at 1k-3k words per day, and I stop anywhere within that range as soon as my writing quality starts to diminish from any mental exhaustion.

I started the second draft of my novel (a companion to a punk/rock concept album I’ve been working on over the last couple years) on Wednesday. I’ve made sure to work on the book on all 6 days so far. Wednesday through Monday. This will say I posted it on Tuesday, but that’s because I haven’t gone to sleep yet. 🙃 I made sure to write a minimum of 1k words each day. If I reach 1k that’s a decent day, 2k is a good day, and 3k is a great day. I only hit 3k once, Monday night, where I got sucked into the story and wrote a ridiculous 3,598 words, after which I stopped, despite only being a couple pages away from the end of the chapter. I really wanted to just finish the chapter, but I had promised myself I would stay within a limit, and so I did. There were two days where I found it difficult to get to 1k words, and it took me almost just as long to get to 1300 as it had taken me to get to 3k today. Everyday was a little different, depending on the difficulty I was having with different sections/scenes/chapters in this story. I’ve been stopping anywhere within a scene or chapter once I decide I’m too tired to write as well. I’ve found it fairly easy to pick up from wherever I left off the previous day, so no need to push myself past my limits unnecessarily just to finish any particular section.

Results so far are 14,493 words written in 6 days. I worked anywhere from 2 hours most days, to 4-6 hours on the few days I had written over 2k words in a sitting, typing 10wpm at the slowest (lots of pauses) to 50wpm at the fastest (this speed was rare tbh). Not only is my weekly word count very high from following this advice, but I’ve also seen greater improvement than expected in prose, descriptive detailing, and dialogue within my story. I’ve never felt so proud of my writing before.

I do admittedly write fast. I averaged 4K-8kwpd when writing the first draft, as I was focused on getting the story into the real world, not on making it good. But I would often only write 1-2 days per week, and sometimes take weeks or months off between bouts of writing. It was very clearly unsustainable. I had gone full pantser as well for the first draft. I don’t think that kind of writing speed would be possible if I were following a proper outline. The point of putting myself into a 1k-3k limit was to make writing daily a more obtainable goal, and to give myself more time to really get deep into the story while I write.

A daily writing goal doesn’t have to be a minimum of 1k words either. At 300 words per day, a person would still complete a 50k word novel in 6 months, and they would see improvement in their writing over time from all of that beautiful daily practice.

So yeah, when the top authors in the world keep giving us the advice of “write everyday no matter what,” when we ask how to become better writers, they’re not fucking around. It really does work, and the good results are quick to present themselves. I highly recommend giving it a shot.

[redwonyism]

day 16 - tuesday, october 17, 2023

hey! sooo today has been a pretty boring and slow day. i’ve eaten *okay* today. i went to the gym, but honestly my workout was only *okay* too. i’m pretty sure i’m still in a deficit though, so it’s all okay.

one thing that hasn’t been great is that my new birth control has been making me feel lightheaded and giving me headaches :(( like right now i feel kinda lightheaded, but i’m currently sitting in the practice room waiting for dance practice to start >_< here’s to hoping i don’t pass out. honestly, i really really really don’t want to practice today (or ever honestly LOL), but we have a performance next week so i know we need to. i guess the problem is just that i already feel confident in the choreo and i don’t need the extra practice at the moment. i can learn a song’s choreo in 10-30 minutes and master it in a day, adding my own details and style. i can have it performance ready in a week. context: i’ve been dancing since i was about 5 or 6 and i’m 18 now. so idk

tomorrow is going to be a really busy day, so the plan tonight is to get ahead on my work so i don’t have to stress about finishing homework tomorrow. i also want to study at least a little tonight to make sure i’m fully understanding the content before my classes tomorrow. the goal for tomorrow is to eat well, pay extra close attention in my classes, and have a good workout because it’s cardio and abs (which i really don’t like, so i’m going to try and make it good) so i can really burn some calories and increase serotonin.

that’s another thing: i’ve already felt so much more depressed since starting the birth control. rough life! i’m feeling superrr unmotivated, but i think the gym has been making it better, which is good because it’s even more of a motivator to workout! remember everyone: wonyoungism isn’t all about dieting and getting fit or whatever. it’s also about ensuring that mentally you are at your best and that you’re happy and successful (whatever that means for you)!

working hard this week to be successful and feel proud of myself! 화이팅!

[burstingsunrise]

2022 Writing Evaluation

thanks for the tag bella @clumsyclifford​! thinking about writing and stats is weird for me in a lot of ways right now but I thought this might be a nice way to try to reflect on it in a constructive way.

1. number of stories posted on ao3: 21

2. word count posted for this year: 341,517

3. fandoms i wrote for: 5sos

4. pairings: cake, muke (I know what I like)

5. story with the most kudos/bookmarks/comments: 

Kudos - for real

Comments - this city screams your name (which makes sense because chapters) but then there’s a massive drop to a ton of fics that all have about the same amount.

Bookmarks - new shapes and for real are tied

6. work i’m most proud of (and why): 

hmm. I think probably for real? It’s the longest fic I’ve ever written and one of the few this year that generally came fairly easily for me overall. i really thrive in a world where I can just describe Luke in a way that feels very true to actual Luke but also am scared of canon friends to lovers, so famous aus are a sweet spot.

And I guess maybe interlude too, because I hadn’t really done a “big” muke fic in a long time, and it was challenging, but in an overall rewarding way.

7. work i’m least proud of (and why): 

I guess I don’t often feel good about a fic before I post it these days, but there’s not necessarily one that stands out here as something I’m least proud of. 

I’ve posted a few fics this year that have just been lingering wips I managed to wrap up, and they tend to feel the most incomplete to me, like lowercases and capitals and keep these dreams. I feel like you can tell that I originally wanted more for them and just didn’t have the inspiration to make it happen.

8. share or describe a favorite review you received:

Meg read my muke! And made a meme!

9. a time when writing was really, really hard:

It’s been hard all year. Especially the second half of it, there were multiple times I wasn’t sure I’d ever finish another fic. And I’m still kind of in that space of…I’ll keep trying to write, but I can’t guarantee anything will get done. 

I think some of that is just because after writing for the same fandom for a certain amount of time, it’s kind of hard not to just feel like you’re repeating yourself, which saps inspiration. There’s also so little engagement with fic these days that it’s hard to actually tell if your writing is any good, which makes motivation difficult for people like me who don’t write specifically for engagement but DO have a strong desire to Be Good.

That said, I’ve still managed to post a lot of content, so the way my brain is processing this isn’t necessarily in sync with reality, and that’s something I can try to be aware of and try to reframe when I get in my head about it.

Above paragraph brought to you by meg encouraging me to be positive and celebrate the work I’ve done this year.

10. a scene or character you wrote that surprised you: 

Maybe comfortable silence Luke. He really turned into something a lot more nuanced than I expected. 

that fic in general became a lot different and more than i expected. it wound up being maybe the most “real” thing i’ve ever written and ever will write.

11. a favorite excerpt of your writing: 

Oh god. um. That would require me to remember what I write. I literally have no idea. There are some scenes that stand out, like the beginning of for real when calum and luke meet for the first time at the coffee shop, and the porch scene in new shapes.

12. how did you grow as a writer this year? 

I’m not sure that I did. And I don’t mean that in a bad way necessarily. I just feel like I fell into a groove in 2022 and have not really grown but am also quite comfortable in my groove.

13. how do you hope to grow next year? 

I think to grow as a writer I need to work on my perspective in terms of what counts as “success,” what are reasonable expectations to have for myself, and learning how to be better about dealing with the times I don’t feel inspired. Figuring out how to do that in a more constructive way mentally.

And, in answering the next question, I thought of another thing - I tend to assume people don’t want to hear about my writing unless they ask directly. So I stew in things a lot. I get stuck, I get frustrated, and I feel like no one cares, so I just don’t talk about it. But when I do manage to talk about it with the right people (see below), it’s always helpful. so maybe trying to get out of my own head more and be more proactively open about my writing.

14. who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc)?

Meg @kaleidoscopeminds​. It’s meg. In so many ways. Not just in terms of supporting and encouraging my writing and helping me through sticky spots, but also being my audience. Like even if no one else reads a fic, I know meg will, and that makes it worth posting.

Aria @calumthoodshands​ has also been a key influence here by being an idea machine, always prepared with suggestions. Not to mention the moodboard she made for comfortable silence before it was finished, which ended up inspiring several scenes in the fic.

15. anything from your real life show up in your writing this year? 

there’s at least one fic that’s very specific to personal experiences in many ways, but I think generally the way real life sneaks into my fics is through little details. Things that have happened to me, things that have happened to someone I know, or just things that I talked about with someone. Like in the spirit is the direct result of a “real” conversation with meg, even if nothing in it is remotely real.

16. any new wisdom you can share with other writers? 

I think last year I talked about writing something even if it means writing out of order or jumping between docs. And I still think that’s good advice for a lot of writers.

Beyond that though…this year has been all about learning to create in an environment where it doesn’t feel like the content is really being consumed. Finding ways to be okay with sending a fic out into the world and not really knowing how it’s received. Which is something I’m still working on.

17. any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year? 

This is going to sound more negative than it is - but not really, no! I have a couple WIPs that I might at some point get inspired to finish - including podcast cake! But I have no big ideas for new fics, and I don’t have anything I’m currently working on that I feel enough strong inspiration about that I’m confident I’ll finish. 

But you never know when something will hit, and there’s something nice about the sense of possibility there.

18. tag some writers whose answers you’d like to read: 

@ashtcnirwin @calumthoodshands @daydadahlias​ @crossedwiress​

[astrobei]

✨ 🎉 ⛔️ + 🧠 (for mike and will) !!

omg hi there !!

✨: Give you and your writing a compliment. Go on now. You know you deserve it. 😉

YELLINGGGG WHY WOULD U MAKE ME DO THIS THAT IS SO MEAN !! i am genuinely so bad at perceiving myself but for u i will think of something ! um. i think i’m pretty good with imagery ! and being rly descriptive in scenes that call for it so i am Proud of that sometimes !

(sweating, shaking, throwing up)

ok anyways now that that’s over !

🎉: What leads you to consider a fic a success?

oooh this is very interesting ! ofc as a fic writer it’s easy to get bogged down by stats and interactions and all of that so it’s easier said than done to say that stuff doesn’t matter ! but i Am trying to care less abt it so personally i just rly love when someone says a fic means something to them! like it made them laugh on a bad day or they rly connected w a character in it or maybe they just needed some comfort! i just Love knowing that ppl r finding joy in my fics bc that’s pretty much the reason i write them for myself and decide to share in the first place !!

⛔️: Do you have a fic you started, but scrapped?

oooohohoho ok so it’s only been recently that i’ve even started working on more than one fic at a time bc i like to finish an entire fic and then get rly into another so i don’t have any that are fully Scrapped ! just set aside,, Indefinitely 🤸 i have had an idea for a companion piece to my first chaptered fic (i’ve come home, i’m so cold) for a While but what i have so far is very similar to my sickfic so i’d probably have to rewrite it if i ever resurrected it LOL but maybe someday i will ! i feel like it could fit rly well in between ichisc and my sickfic so . it’ll work out eventually! probably!

🧠: Pick a character, and I'll tell you my favorite headcanon for them.

ooooh ok i dont have a Favorite that i can remember off the top of my head but i do have this little one i was thinking abt on the bus ride home (bc i’m a loser) that will’s body temp has always run a bit on the cooler side, ever since his ordeal w the mind flayer, and mike has always run a bit warm so when they cuddle it’s like . they’re reaching thermodynamic equilibrium :^) except then will sticks his hands up mike’s shirt just to mess w him and watch him shriek and then mike smothers him w a blanket in retribution ok maybe that’s just rly lame it was the first thing that popped into my head !!

wishwofnwkf thank u sooo much for these they were so much fun ! Even the compliment . kind of

[f1]

I took a bit of a gamble Ricciardo reflects on decision to leave Red Bull and if he has any regrets

Daniel Ricciardo insists he has no regrets about leaving Red Bull at the end of the 2018 season, despite moves to Renault and most recently McLaren yielding comparatively limited success. After debuting with Hispania in 2011 and swiftly moving over to Toro Rosso (now AlphaTauri), Ricciardo secured promotion to Red Bull for 2014, going on to claim three pole positions and seven race victories during his time at the squad. READ MORE: ‘It was something I couldn’t really grasp’ – Ricciardo pinpoints the main cause of his struggles during two-year stint at McLaren However, in 2018, and after younger team mate Max Verstappen had signed a lengthy new contract, Ricciardo opted to depart the team in favour of a fresh start at Renault, a two-year stint that brought a couple of podium finishes, before embarking on another new adventure with McLaren. While Ricciardo claimed a victory during his first season racing for McLaren at the 2021 Italian Grand Prix, it proved to be the highlight of an otherwise difficult spell that saw the two parties go their separate ways after the 2022 campaign – one year before his contract was due to expire. Ricciardo won seven races for Red Bull, including three during his first season with the team in 2014 Recently appearing on F1's Beyond The Grid podcast, Ricciardo was asked if he ever pondered what might have been had he stuck with Red Bull, given that Verstappen has claimed 30 wins and two world titles since his exit. “I don’t look at it like that, because nothing is sure. If I stayed there the last four years, could I say I would have had more podiums than I’ve had? What have I had, maybe three or something? Yeah, I’m confident to say I would have had more podiums than I’ve had,” said Ricciardo, who has rejoined Red Bull in a third driver role for 2023. READ MORE: From battling in Baku to magic in Monaco – Daniel Ricciardo’s 8 Grand Prix wins ranked “But you just don’t know. Obviously at the time I felt like it was right for me. I felt like I needed a change and I needed to kind of just remove myself a bit. If I continued [at Red Bull], would that urge have grown? Would I have become, let’s say, more curious or less happy, or whatever? “It’s not a sure thing that it would have been great if I stayed. I don’t look back and say, ‘Man, I shouldn’t have [left]’. But, of course, I can be honest with myself and say, ‘Yeah, I took a little bit of a gamble on myself’.” This feature is currently not available because you need to provide consent to functional cookies. Please update your cookie preferences Watch: Daniel Ricciardo sending it Ricciardo added that he remains proud of elements from his time at Renault and McLaren, having returned the former to the podium and the latter to winning ways, while taking a philosophical approach to his recent struggles. “I still feel like the Renault [move] was pretty good, especially 2020 – [that was] one of the best seasons I’ve driven in F1. To get the team back on the podium, I was very proud of that,” he commented. ANALYSIS: Why are Ricciardo and Red Bull reuniting for 2023? “But obviously the McLaren one, even with the win… the win was a high and I can’t remove that, I can’t ignore that. I can look and say, ‘I tried as well with this one [and] it didn’t quite work out’. “You live and you learn, but I don’t look back with regret. I just say, ‘Okay, it was a challenge I took on, and it didn’t work out how I hoped'.” To hear Ricciardo’s full Beyond The Grid interview – which also covers his new role at Red Bull, his advice for McLaren replacement Oscar Piastri and much, much more – hit go in the player below, or head here to catch it on your preferred platform. via Formula 1 News https://www.formula1.com

[teddyoverthinks]

Choosing Personally Significant Mantras

There are several English definitions of the word mantra, a borrowed word originally essentially meaning sacred utterance, but used in American English to mean a statement used frequently, typically with a connotation of deep importance. This post is about the phrases, which we find significant enough to consider sacred, that we repeat to ourselves when we need to hear them. I use this account to discuss spiritual practices which improve our emotional and mental health. I typically pull from fanfiction as a sacred literature, because I consider the retelling of stories to be a sacred practice of all human cultures. Throughout this account you will see me pull from fanfiction to create prayers and mantras and discuss how I use them. Today, however, I want to talk about the words that come from within ourselves. Of course, I will use my sacred literature as a mechanism to discuss it.

I have crossed a mountain range, he realized. I have gone under some of it and over the rest and I have lived to tell the tale. And he thought of his little armchair back home and the warm hearth that awaited him, and the memories stirred the same homesickness that they always did. But something new rose in his breast as well. If I go home, I will be a hobbit who has crossed a mountain range twice. Once on the way there and once on the way back again. I could stay in Bag End for the rest of my days, and nothing could take that from me.

—Margo_Kim, The Fine Art of Small Talk 

Bilbo Baggins—in Tolkien canon, various adaptations, and much of fanon—is almost always portrayed as a master of self-soothing via mantra. In the animated film The Hobbit (Rankin/Bass 1977), Bilbo reminds himself of “Eggs and bacon, a good full pipe, my garden at twilight, ...cakes,” throughout his journey. It becomes a mantra that he relies on for comfort. Home was good, and all of this stress and misery is not all that this world contains. Home grounds Bilbo in times when he might be fainting from terror.

That mantra works well, but I prefer the block quote from Margo_Kim. Their Bilbo thinks of his home—and misses it and loves it still—but he also finds a value in his trials themselves. He has survived them. This idea is a powerful one. Bilbo can rely on it, because it will always be true that he has survived doing something so unthinkable as leaving home. 

It doesn’t escape me that out of all he’s done at this point—dealt with the trolls, stayed with the elves of Rivendell, seen stone giants and goblins and Gollum, fought to save someone’s life—crossing the mountain range is the success he fixates on. In my mind, the crossing of the mountain range stands for the commonality of all of those experiences: the fact that he has traveled far, far out of his comfort zone. 

It's a simple thing to be proud of, but that's what makes it so useful. 

With this idea—leaving is something to be proud of—Bilbo has changed the foundation of his whole point of view. Focusing on the comforts of home is good, but it easily leads to homesickness; to wishing one never left at all. The realization doesn’t dull his homesickness, but it does strengthen his will to stay and dedicate himself to Thorin & Co.’s cause. It changes his attitude and makes him a better teammate. 

This isn’t a sermon about how Bilbo made the right choice, by the way. I’m not here to talk about perseverance or fighting for a cause. Not all mantras encourage us to stay in a situation. 

‘Rest will refresh my brain, and this will be easier tomorrow.’ is a mantra of my own making. It helps me sleep when I might stay up until a task is completely done. 

That mantra is the result of a realization I had that I was worsening my sleep schedule with a different mantra. I used to tell myself, ‘Finish this, then sleep; push through it, I’ll have a second wind.’ over and over, slowing down all the while. I was losing out on sleep, because I was doing tasks that really did go faster in the morning!

So we have to think carefully about the mantras we use, and why we use them. But how do we even get there? In general, I try to be aware of my thought process, especially in the way I motivate myself. The two greatest questions are the following:

Why do I want to change what I’m doing, and how do I plan on getting there? 

The answers to these questions vary, based not only on situation, but also the person asking them. We all have different goals and methods of achieving them.

But once we figure put the answers to those questions, we have to ask ourselves a lot more:

Are our methods healthy? Are they efficient enough? Do we balance our goals, or do we employ our most efficient mantras to ignore one goal over another, no matter how pressing the other goal is? Do we find ourselves biased in which goals we prioritize? 

This has been a long winded way to say that the question isn’t “do you tell yourself braving your situation is something to be proud of, or do you try to go to your happy place when you’re upset?”. I’m not even here to tell you that you should do one more than the other. 

I’m here to tell you that you might benefit from thinking about which mantras you use the most. And maybe that’s the real purpose of my page as a whole. I share passages, prayers, essays about things that obviously mean a lot to me; but for you, I think it’s just a prompt to get you thinking. I don't know how many people will end up using my prayers! But maybe my sharing them will help others find their own. Maybe my sharing WHY I am praying will get others to think about situations that affect us all. That’s what I hope for, anyway.

I’ll end this with a 3-step overview of my method for achieving change to my subconscious beliefs via my daily mantras.

Step 1 is self-observation. That involves paying attention to the mantras we use, and asking ourselves the aforementioned questions about them.

Step 2 is allowing change to one’s perspective. That means occasionally accepting that our goal or mantra was leading us astray. We find our way to a new one.

Step 3 is actively changing our behavior. That means, once we find a goal that suits our new perspective, we find a new method of achieving it and then we work to do so.