#I’m not the best at romance tbh
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(Luca/mer au)
What would moon or montys ideal date look like 🥺🙏
-definitely not @icechillix
Ppfpptpf this is a weirdly relevant question
I would say a day on the beach, pulling pranks on the other beach goers, staying there until late at night
They just enjoy spending time together really, it doesn’t matter as much what they are doing
#moondrop#luca au#monty gator#I’m not the best at romance tbh#but they are very cute together to me#Monty would give the world to moon if he could#moon loves Monty but thinks Monty deserves better than him#there’s also the whole trying to kill u thing
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gith girly 4 my new run 🐸
#between Gale and astarion 😙#4 romance 🤔#but yeah. many thoughts on her.#she has a whole complex abt being githyanki since she was raised in a little village#she def got my best faerunian girl by mitski on repeat💔#her top took me forever …. 😵#I’m always open to asks and stuff too if yall wanna know anything about her ever or anything at all tbh.. I be bored#leia meadowvine#my art#githyanki#bg3#baldur’s gate 3#baldurs gate 3#tav#bard#also her adoptive parents SPOILEDDEDDDD her. they died later tho </3#I’m not sure abt the earrings tbh. we’ll see#also she embroiders stuff on her clothes and makes jewelry n shit she crafty 😈#myart
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danganronpa is so fucking crazy bc it’s like “hi. this is a game series with a fucking amazing premise. unfortunately the writing sucks and is bad and you will spend half the time going ‘eugh why did they write that’ but you will play the whole thing anyways and get attached to your favorite characters and cry when they inevitably die. also it is filled with romance subplots that will stay in your brain forever” HUH??????
#marzi speaks#like. dr sucks but i like it.#but it sucks#but then like. there’s just??? so much in-depth romance and it makes me want to cry???#like. like. thh. asahina + sakura (so sorry lesbians i do not know their ship name). they are so cute and then they are so tragic#and ishimondo. GODDDDD ishimondo. you get to go ‘oh HELL yeah’ for a chapter and then they make you HURT#even like. makoto w/sayaka. start of the betrayal girlfriend trend. love it#and even toko and togami are interesting!!! like they will not date and should not date but they are fascinating#and then sdr2. do not get me STARTED on komahina what sort of psychosexual freudian bullshit are they on i will never know#but there’s also like. hinanami who r SO good. and mahiru and hiyoko who. tbh i wish they were handled better but still#fuyupeko. they make me crazy. and their parallels to akane and nekomaru. aaaa#SONDAM oh my goddd. they’re so#i may not be a v3 fan but they DID give us a lesbian love triangle and i do have to thank them for that#also the best polycule in the world in the form of the workout trio#kokichi i don’t like. but i DO like his little crush on shuichi even if i think it’s one-sided#kiibouruma will forever be real to me tho. world’s worst polycule. for balance#anyways why does dr have so many good romance plots. they’re so. why are those so good#AND WHY ARE LIKE HALF OF THEM QUEER. WHY DOES THE HOMOPHOBIA GAME HAVE SO MUCH QUEER CODING#idk i’m insane. <3 i’m a little crazy. komahina what the hell even are you….
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It’s a shame the rest of Black Friday doesn’t translate to the outsiders super easily because guys hear me out. I know the first instinct would be Darry = Lex but hear me out. Darry in the arc of Tom Houston
#minus the romance probably because I can’t think of who it would be#<- wait I’m literally an idiot. parry#I think the best thing would probably be a very far au in which Darry is Tom and lex combined#but lex if I had to isolate her would be like. actually this is hard no one in this story has hope 😭#I could see her as soda and Ethan as Steve and Hannah as two bit#but soda would never be trying to get away from Darry is the thing#or like dally as lex Johnny as Hannah and. Tim Shepard??? as Ethan?????#we’re only filling the hatchetfield plotline here tbc the president is not an outsiders character#Linda Monroe I truly have no idea. she could stay as herself or she could be. Bob??? Bev????#probably bev tbh#but again she could also just be herself#og#the outsiders#darry curtis
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i cannot wait to read the ben winona reconciliation in burn bright 😁
#okay i’m realizing this maaaaaaay not happen in burn bright and there might be more waiting assuming he’ll have multiple books#mine#cobalt empire series#but this post is also making me realize how much beef ben has to resolve with various family members omg???#i think it’s realistic to expect that ben and winona’s friendship will be restored in ben’s books#because that feels like a distance that’s HIS fault. like she never wanted to drift from him but his own issues led to their separation#and therefore we need his pov for the resolution#but tbh ben and xander is a mixed bag. we still don’t totally get why there is so much tension between them so it could go either way#but god i hope we don’t have to wait that fucking long#like if it isn’t in ben’s books then they better have some plan for the rest of the kid’s books to start releasing alongside the cobalt empi#and then charlie and ben there is definitely a LOT of animosity on both sides but imo this is mostly charlie’s problem#he is a big bully to ben and ben’s treatment towards charlie is simply reactionary#this isn’t necessarily set in stone though bc idk if ben and charlie could realistically live together with this much turmoil between them#like it makes sense to me that we need to see charlie’s perspective of this and he will need to be the one to take the reins#in order for there to be a resolution. but will they really wait this long? unless maybe charlie’s books are right after and it gets split#anyway. CANT WAIT TO FINALLY SEE BEN AND WINONA’S FRIENDSHIP FIRSTHAND#I HOPE IT ISNT RESOLVED AT THE LAST MINUTE SO WE GET REAL BFFS CONTENT#BOY GIRL BEST FRIENDS ARE EVERYTHING TO ME!! especially when there’s a zero chance of romance#and i really hope ben easton and xander become an epic friendship trio
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i cannot believe i played all three high school story books romancing MICHAEL the first time. girl why did you do that caleb is sooooo much better omg it’s ridiculous actually
#unfortunately it only works to romance caleb if you play as a guy#just because the mc’s best friend is emma and emma had that little crush on him and if you’re a girl and you date your bestie’s crush that’s#like soooo deeply unethical. especially when you’re 16 like that’s evil fr#it’s okay if they’re gay though and then you get to set emma up with luis who is soooo insanely Your Friend’s Ugly Ass Boyfriend but like we#can’t win it all i guess.#next time i play it i’m gonna play as a girl again and romance emma <3#and then the only romance options i won’t have done will be aiden and maria#but i don’t want to do aiden ever because he’s lame#maybe i’ll play it a fourth time and do maria idk#but it takes me so long to play these things i probably won’t get to it a fourth time tbh#like i started this replay like a year ago and i’m still only at the start of book 2#to be fair though 2 and 3 kind of suck. where 1 is sooo fun#anyway. you guys should all download choices and play my little books#it’s almost lame that you all will watch the worst tv shows known to humankind but won’t play choices. like. lol#choices
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LAEZEL’S SUNSET SCENE OMGGGGG 💘💘💘
#why is she so frickin ADORABLE#omg i totally picked right for my first bg3 romance#she’s best girl fr 🥺🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍#apple babble 🍎#apple plays bg3#idek who i’m gonna romance after this tbh like#she’s THAT character for me it’s gonna be impossible to pick anyone else 😭#baezel
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I tried reading this urban fantasy called Jane Yellowrock or something like that, and she was basically a base-cougar shapeshifter. Like she could spend a lot of time as a cougar comfortably, and it matched her body mass pretty much. When she was little, she had a bobcat or something. Oh, and being shapeshifted gave her twilight-werewolf-kind-of-immortality, though that might’ve just been a her thing. She spent like a century in cat form.
Transforming into other animals was harder. When she needed more mass, I think she ate? And/or used a stone or log lying around and absorbed its mass. It’s been a while. When she turned smaller, she converted her extra mass into a stone and generally tried to get that stone back, because it was magically easier to reintegrate.
She had to keep a body part from the animal to shift into it I think. And she always shifted into that specific individual. And I think she was kind of getting swallowed by the part of her that spent a ton of time as a cat.
I was trying to think about the ole "what would shapeshifters do with their extra mass when they turn into something smaller" and I thought "maybe they just convert it all to energy" and then I thought "uh my guy that's a lot of fucking energy"
#this is vaguely remembered#the series got racist after a while so I stopped reading#tbh it was very hand-wavey Indigenous inspired stuff#like Mercy Thompson but way worse#but I stuck around for a bit because I hoped it would get better#it didn’t#anyways if this kind of stuff interests you#probably the best to check out is Kate Daniels and Mercy Thompson.#they do try a lot more than this series does#but it’s a low bar. Kate Daniels is Eastern European (sorry I don’t remember more)/#Ancient Human probably from the Middle East (her dad is complicated)#and that series does decently with her cultural background and the side character’s backgrounds as far as I could tell#I don’t remember her name but there’s a funny girl white tiger shifter who is South Asian American#and because (?) her tiger form is the type to often have vision problems she has to wear THICKASS glasses and prefers to hang out as a human#(shifters in that world were people across the globe who had been carrying the gene since the last age where magic was around. so her#parents aren’t magic I’m pretty sure. magic and science get turns being in charge every 10k years in that world lol and the time came for#magics turn) and anyway she gets romanced by a hot (jaguar or wolf?) guy in her side story. it was fun#aha! just relooked it’s up. Dali Harimau is actually Indonesian American and likes to drive fast and crash hard & her bf is Jim the Jaguar#then there’s Mercy Thompson. she’s a bit of a stereotype - half Coyote-spirit but raised by her white mom so she doesn’t have a ton of#knowledge about her Dad’s culture really. she did kind of get mentored by an older brother type but he was usually off doing his own thing#but the author does kind of try#tbh she does a lot better with fae and werewolf stuff probably because it’s “easier’’ to work with (note the quotes) but it’s still very#fun to read more me. lots of murder and mystery.#funnily enough Mercy also likes cars. she’s a mechanic when she’s not solving magical bullshit
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The goiji fic updated too fast, I just read the last chapter last night-
#I was late reading it tho#it’s so good I’m kicking my feet up into the air Ijichi picked Gojo up at the airport and Gojo was so surprised and happy to see him that he#picked him up and swung him around in the middle of the airport I want to throw up#it’s such a fun read 😭#60k+ words and 13 chapters into this fic and there hasn’t been any romance yet this is awesome skkaksksrjdjd#they might as well hold hands already 🗣️#rambling#it has some of the best characterization that I’ve ever come across for Gojo fan wise he’s so well written and Ijichi is as well#it’s hard coming across ff this great tbh#Jessie voice right on#I wanna draw fanart now hahhhhjakakka
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I am begging the The Bear fandom community to not ship the only single female character with the only men who are absolute trainwrecks and at least 10 years older than her on the show.
Ideally, don’t ship anyone, but that’s just me. But if you’re gonna ship somebody ship her with the only person she hung out with outside of work. Or ship the cupcake dude with the roommate. Maybe don’t ship her with the dude that literally called her a “baby” bc of her age.
#sam speaks#the bear#not trying to start any fights just wanted to make a statement#I just finished season 1 so maybe something happens later but I’m sick of romance in shows wheeee it doesn’t need to be#we just went a whole season with zero romance and my ace heart is soaring#I know it’s in tumblr dna to ship the people and write smuts about them but I beg not her and him or him#I’m surprised y’all aren’t shipping carm and the best friend together tbh#edit: I blocked the tags but still#with peace and love I will be a hater but in a chill way where this is the only post I make about it
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can i play baldurs gate anytime soon? no. am i still excited to see the entire CC tomorrow so i can start mentally sketching my tav and durge? absofuckinglutely
#i’m so hyped#tbh imma peak at the romances as well#my best choices are made when i know what’s coming#it’s how i became a solavellan junkie#i watxhed that romance on youtube after like two playthroughs as a human and i was like i GOTTA GET IN ON THIS#AND thus lailani was born into heartbreak SJAJAJA
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yes, and? | max verstappen
summary: max’s impossible crush finally notice him, but he’s stuck in a pr relationship
fc: simone ashley
a/n: so i try something a bit different with this one and made it on the longer side (if you’ve listened to ariana’s song you know this is gonna be messy for sure) (also, simone ashley??? or the prettiest woman ever??? i’m obsessed with her)
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liked by charles_leclerc, landonorris and others
maxverstappen1 life off track
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username i screamed cried and fainted
username second pic should be illegal
megan.galanis 🥰
username not the pr girlfriend 🙄
username omg let them live!
username they’re dating, get over it
username the third pic pls he’s so POOKIE
username number 1 stan of max’s thighs
username thirsting on main???
username PLS because how can you not ??
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ynusername bridgerton press tour at it’s finest 💍
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username MOTHER
username you’re the prettiest woman alive😩
username yn just one chance please !
bffusername slayyyy
yourusername 🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽
jbayleaf viscountess activities😎
yourusername 🐝🐝🐝
username im in love with a woman i’ve never met
tiktok comments
username never took max for a bridgerton guy???
username not complaining tho
username max in his regency romance era🤭
username now i get why he’s always in y/n’s likes like damn i too would be obsessed after watching her on that show
ynusername thank you! <3
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ynusername it’s the monaco grand prix! i never miss the grand prix🏁
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username yn and f1 my two passions❤️
username the way yn always serves cunt MUST be studied
bffusername is it? who’s playing?
username ohhh the reference i love them!
username gorgeous! 😍
username i’m in awe
maxverstappen1 🤣
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maxverstappen1 P1 in Monaco🏆🇲🇨
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username the icon, the legend, the moment
username max verstappen, the only man ever🫶🏽
charles_leclerc nice one mate, congrats! 👊🏽
username no megan appearance, no like, no comment… are we out of the woods?
username oh wow, she didn’t go to 1 race, they obviously must have broken up 🙄
username no but seriously, did her contract ended or something?
username girl why are you so obsessed with their relationship? just leave them alone srsly
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f1gossippofficial max verstappen has been seen lately on multiple dates with actress y/n y/l/n around monaco
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username he’s been seen on WHAT
username with WHOM
username but… what about megan…
username what about her?
username never thought of y/n as a homewrecker
username never thought of max as a CHEATER!
username im not mad about this pairing tbh🤔
username megan liking this post and unliking it???
username and y/n’s best friend liking it also
username she’s so unserious
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ynusername moments📷
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username bestie who took the pics?👀
username don’t be shy you can tell us🤭
username THE PEOPLE’S PRINCESS
bffusername the most beautiful and pretty and talented and funny and smart and
ynusername i’ll marry you rn😩
username after those pics with max i can’t see her the same
username HOMEWRECKER
username haters gonna hate fr y/n i love you if you see this! 💕
maxverstappen1 🥰 (liked by ynusername)
username oh that’s not…
username this is so wrong in so many levels😭
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maxverstappen1 another successful weekend for the team, hopefully many more to come! 🇨🇦
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username “hopefully many more to come” as if we don’t know he’s gonna win all the races already
username being a red bull fan is sooo easy and fun i love it here
username i miss seeing megan in the paddock :(
username jesus christ who understands you, when she was there you hated on her and when she isn’t you miss her
username also, she just missed two races, like😭
username let’s goooo super max
redbullracing many more to come👊🏽
ynusername 🏎🏎 (liked by maxverstappen1)
username she really has no shame huh?
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ynusername yes, and?
tagged maxverstappen1
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username this was the last thing i expected when i open instagram
username pls the caption😭
username she’s NOT a serious person and i love her for it
username welcome back ariana grande😍
landonorris and my credits for the last picture?
ynusername props to you🙄
username hottest couple imo
username this post single handedly convinced me to watch her show
username it’s so good honestly!!
username yesss y/n and max bringing back messy celebrity couples we love to see it!
maxverstappen1 my one and only girlfriend you’re everything❤️
ynusername you’re too much love!💘
username not the “one and only girlfriend” !!
#max verstappen#max verstappen x reader#max verstappen one shot#max verstappen imagine#max verstappen fluff#f1 x reader#f1#formula one#formula one x reader#max verstappen x y/n#max verstappen x you#max verstappen fanfic#simone ashley#mv1#smau#max verstappen smau#f1 smau#formula 1 smau#social media au#mv33#ariana grande
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25 - Nicholas Alexander Chavez x fem!reader
summary: (Y/N) decides to get her brother’s best friend’s attention and he’s more than willing to give it to her.
warnings: 18+, unprotected p in v, brother’s best friend!nicholas, dominant tease/bratty submissive, slow burn, forbidden romance??, implied age gap but not by much tbh it’s mostly just power dynamic
required listening: 25 by Veruca Salt
word count: 7,742
a/n: ik I try to wait a week between fics but I’m sawriiii I just loved this one too much to not post immediately. I do have another fic in the drafts but honestly I hate it now so I don’t think I’ll post that one. anyway im already planning on continuing this one YUPPPPP 🙂↕️ i just love listening to my playlist and writing xoxo lmk if you’re a veruca salt fan
reblogs, likes, and replies are greatly appreciated and let me know if you'd like to see more!
I never meant to eavesdrop on my brother’s conversations with him — Nicholas. Their voices, along with the sounds of Call of Duty blasting through the tv speakers, always managed to spill through the Jack and Jill bathroom that bridged our bedrooms. I would catch myself lingering by the bathroom door, my book or phone in hand as a cover, pretending I just happened to be nearby. My brother would crack some joke, and Nicholas’s laugh would come through low and warm, and my skin would prickle at the sound. Or sometimes I’d even hear the salacious stories of Nicholas and his fling of the week. Either way, I listened intently.
Nicholas and my brother have been best friends for years. He just showed up to the house one day and just kept coming back, like what happens whenever you find your best friend for life, like how I did. But my brother and I don’t run in the same circles, not really; he has his friends, and I have mine — and they never mixed, not even at our backyard cookouts where we’d each invite a friend or two. We always found ourselves at opposite corners of the house, and it was probably because they were a little older than us.
As a result, I never bothered, or was too nervous, to exchange more than a few words with Nicholas other than the occasional polite conversation, but he always managed to get under my skin either way. It was like he knew, somehow, like he could see right through me, past all my attempts at being casual or indifferent.
I couldn’t control the way my heart skipped a beat every time Nicholas’s eyes flicked over to me whenever I’d pass by them in the living room or as we passed around plates at the dinner table, especially not when I’d pass by him in the hallway and he’d flash me that all-too-famous smirk. I guess that’s why I eavesdropped on them; it was the only way I got to know him without having to say a word to him.
So, I didn’t know what was so different about that night that I just had to get Nicholas’s attention somehow, even if for just a second. I wasn’t sure if I would’ve bumped into him in the hallway, or even the bathroom, or not, but I still decided to slip into the skimpiest set of pajamas I had — a delicate pair of shorts that barely reached the back of my thighs and a camisole that clung to me like second skin. My mom had told me to never wear it whenever there were people over; it was “too revealing.”
“(Y/N)!” My brother’s voice traveled through the bathroom, shouting over his TV.
Hesitantly, I rolled out of my bed, my sock-covered feet quietly shuffling across the floor over to the bathroom. Before I reached the door to his room, I looked down at myself and suddenly grew shy. Maybe I was trying too hard. Would Nicholas notice? Second guessing my sudden boldness, I carefully hid half my body behind the door frame when I cracked open the door to his room.
My eyes flickered to Nicholas, who was perched on the edge of my brother’s bed, controller in hand, leaning forward slightly as he focused on the screen. He didn’t look over right away, but the second I peeked through the crack of the door, his gaze shifted back and forth between me and the TV, his thumbs hesitating on the controller.
“Yeah?” I asked quietly, trying to sound as casual as possible, one of my feet cricketing against the other.
My brother barely glanced at me, his eyes glued to the team deathmatch round they were playing. “Do we still have any snacks left in the pantry or did you finish them?”
I hesitated, feeling Nicholas’s eyes on me. His gaze lingered, scanning over what little of me was visible behind the door. His dark brown eyes were unreadable, but there was something in his expression, something curious, that made me feel both exposed and exhilarated.
“Yeah, there’s still some cookies and chips. I'm not a vacuum,” I said finally, my voice softer now and muttering the last part. I rested my cheek against the frame, my gaze flickering between Nicholas, the floor, and my brother.
“Could you bring us some?” My brother asked, his fingers violently attacking the buttons on the controller, the sounds of loud gunshots and footsteps responding to his every button mash. “We’re in the middle of a round.”
I rolled my eyes. “Sure,” I murmured, trying to keep my voice even. I pushed off the doorframe and stepped back into the bathroom, catching the way Nicholas’s gaze dropped briefly, taking in more of me now that I wasn’t partially hidden.
I ducked back into my room, the air feeling heavier as I padded toward the kitchen. My heart was racing, every nerve in my body alive with the lingering awareness of his gaze. It wasn’t just my brother’s casual request that stuck with me, but the way Nicholas had looked at me — like I wasn’t just his friend’s little sister sneaking glances from behind doors.
In the kitchen, I opened the pantry and pulled out the cookies and chips, my nerves bubbling as I anticipated the moment I’d walk into my brother’s room wearing this outfit. I wasn’t sure what I’d expected — maybe a quick glance and nothing more, but the idea was scintillating either way.
My mom strutted into the kitchen then, still in her work clothes. “I thought I told you not to wear that when people were over,” she smirked knowingly. I had a little bit of a tendency to defy orders.
I glanced over my shoulder, feigning innocence. “It’s hot out,” I shrugged my shoulders as I closed the pantry and scampered past her with snacks in tow.
I returned to my brother’s room with the snacks in hand, pausing at the cracked bathroom door before taking a breath and sheepishly walking in. I stepped fully into the room, my bare legs feeling more exposed than they ever had before. “Here,” I called, keeping my tone neutral, like nothing about this moment felt significant, even though my pulse told a different story.
My brother barely spared me a glance as I set the snacks down in front of them, his attention glued to the screen. Nicholas, on the other hand, wasn’t as discreet. He leaned back slightly, one arm draped over his knee as he finally looked up from the game. His dark brown eyes swept over me, slow and deliberate, lingering just long enough to make me feel like every inch of my skin was on display under his gaze.
He didn’t say anything, didn’t smirk or tease the way he usually did. My cheeks burned as I shifted on my feet, my fingers brushing against the hem of my shorts, unsure what to do with myself.
“Thanks, (Y/N),” Nicholas said finally, his voice cutting through the tension. It was smooth, casual.
I smiled softly, more out of nerves than anything else, and started to retreat toward the door. “Don’t get used to it,” I mumbled, glancing over my shoulder. I cast one last glance at Nicholas. He was still watching me, his head tilted slightly, the corner of his mouth twitching like he was suppressing a smirk. It was like he knew exactly what I was doing.
Now, I don’t know why I did it, maybe because I was so flustered that I didn’t notice or maybe I subconsciously knew what I was doing, but I left my bathroom door open just a smidge, enough for the soft light of my room to spill out and shine through the darkness of the bathroom, like a beacon in the night begging to be followed. Maybe it was a dare, or maybe I was just curious to see if he’d take the bait.
I threw myself onto my bed, stomach down, trying to calm my ever-racing heart as I replayed the moment Nicholas’s gaze lingered on me. I couldn’t bite back the smile forming on my lips as I pictured the look in his eye when I walked into the room. It sent a thrill through me. Did I finally manage to pique his interest as much as he piqued mine?
My heartbeat was unrelenting, so I reached for the book on my nightstand, hoping that reading a few pages might calm me. Of course, though, I wasn’t focusing on the pages. How could I? When my older brother’s hot best friend was right on the other side of that door?
Eventually, the sound of video games and laughter died down as the minutes ticked into the late night, replaced by muffled conversation before trailing off into complete silence. The only sound I could hear, now, was the occasional turn of the page and my thumping heartbeat, maybe the imperceptible hum of the lightbulb coming from my bedside lamp.
And on the other side, Nicholas could also hear the faint scratch of a page turning, too. He was lying down in his makeshift bed of blankets on the floor, quietly scrolling on his phone. The screen of his phone cast a faint glow on his face, but his attention wasn’t on the timeline of tweets he had planned on reading through. It was on that tiny crack of light spilling into the dark bathroom, the faintest view of my room on the other side.
He couldn’t sleep. How could he? The tight, little number I was bold enough to wear but still shy enough to hide behind the door frame, the way I glanced at him when I passed through to give them snacks, the subtle sway of my hips as I disappeared back into the bathroom to my room as if I hadn’t worn that number on purpose. And now, the crack in my door was basically daring him to walk through.
I didn’t know it, but it wasn’t the first time he’d noticed me. He always looked forward to seeing me scamper through the kitchen as quickly as possible whenever they took it over for whatever they were doing, and he was always equally curious about what would happen behind my door, especially when he could hear me laughing with my friends or my CD player blasting Veruca Salt.
His friend — my brother — was out cold, snoring like a chainsaw. Nicholas glanced at him, then back at the door, then back at him, then back at the door. It was a bad idea; he knew it. I was off-limits. My brother hadn’t told him that explicitly, but he did express his distaste when Nicholas made an off-handed comment about me some a couple years ago and that was enough to deter him. But tonight, my brother was asleep, while Nicholas and I were still awake.
Nicholas turned his phone off then, quietly pulling the blanket off himself and standing up, padding quietly to the bathroom and closing the door to my brother’s room behind him. He tiptoed toward my door, taking a peek through the crack and hoping that maybe just indulging himself in the image of me would satiate him. But the moment he saw me on my bed — twiddling with the end of a braid or two or many as I laid on my stomach, propped up on my elbows as I read, my legs crossed at the ankles, the pajamas I wore barely covering anything — he knew just looking wouldn’t be enough.
My heart raced when I heard the faint creak of my door, but I didn’t look up right away, choosing to pretend I was so engrossed in my book that I couldn’t be bothered to see what had made the noise. What did make me glance over my shoulder, though, was the light clinking of glass.
I turned my head and saw Nicholas leaning against the doorframe curiously inspecting a nail polish I had left on the dresser that was near the bathroom door, a smirk on his face. That set my heart racing.
“Nicholas,” I spoke quietly as I closed the book in my hands, watching him as he continued to fiddle with the things on my dresser — nail polishes, bracelets, a hairbrush.
Nicholas didn’t say anything at first, just let his dark brown eyes sweep across my dresser one last time before they swept across my room, then finally landed on me and took in the scene — the book in my hands, the way I was sprawled across the bed, the faint flush on my cheeks that I couldn’t seem to shake.
He glanced over his shoulder back toward my brother’s bathroom door, still closed, before looking back at me. “Are you usually up this late?” he said finally, his voice low, like he was afraid of breaking the stillness of the moment.
I turned onto my side, giving him a better view of me in my pajamas. His gaze lingered on my torso, and I bit back a smile. “Sometimes.”
He dropped his arms and stepped in, his movements unhurried as he quietly closed the door behind him and looked around my room. I couldn’t believe it. He was in my room.
“Your brother’s out cold,” he said, almost like an explanation, as if I didn’t already know. He turned his head to look at the Heart poster on my wall, arching his back to stretch, his shirt riding up a little to show off the happy trail adorning his lower abdomen. I just about choked at the sight.
When he looked back at me, he had that familiar smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth, “You left your door open.”
“Did I?” I asked quietly, lying back down on my stomach but looking at him over my shoulder.
His smirk deepened, like he didn’t believe me for a second. “Didn’t you?”
My stomach flipped, the challenge in his tone making it impossible to look away, but I had to if I didn’t want him to see the heat rising to my cheeks. So I turned my attention back to my book but the words blurred together. I couldn’t focus, not at all. “You shouldn’t be in here.”
He stepped further into the room until he was at the edge of my bed looking down at me, still smirking. “You don’t sound very convincing.”
I shrugged, letting my fingers trail along the edge of the pages. I decided to give him an out, something that would test his resolve. “My brother’s gonna kill you if he finds out.”
He hesitated, just for a moment, before sitting down next to me. The mattress dipped under his weight, and I shifted slightly to face him. “I know,” he whispered as his eyes trailed my bare legs.
He slowly laid down on his side beside me, and it all started with a touch — his hand reaching out to rest on my thigh, his palm hot against my skin. My breath hitched, but I didn’t pull away. Instead, I let my leg drift closer toward him, the faintest encouragement.
“I should go,” he murmured softly, his fingers brushing up and stopping just short at the hem of my shorts. His eyes flicked up to mine, gazing at me through his abundance of eyelashes.
I couldn’t look away from his dark brown eyes, the way they softened as they met mine, yet held something deeper — something that made my pulse race. I was quiet for a moment, savoring the heat of his hand on my hand, the warmth spreading all over my body. “Yeah, you should,” I whispered, my voice lacking any real conviction.
Neither of us moved.
Nicholas’s lips parted slightly, like he wanted to say something, but no words came out. Instead, he just watched me, his gaze flicking to my lips, then back to my eyes. His hand inched higher, stopping just at the edge of my shorts again, as if he were waiting for a signal. And I gave him it, letting my book fall through my fingers and shifting closer toward him.
That was all it took. He leaned in, his hand sliding up my thigh as his lips captured mine in a kiss that stole the air from my lungs. It was slow at first, like he was testing the waters, but it didn’t take long for the tension between us to boil over. Quickly, the kiss deepened. His hands roamed, pulling me closer as I melted into him, my fingers tangling in his hair.
“Tell me to go,” he murmured against my lips, his breath warm on my skin.
I tugged him closer, “Stay.”
Nicholas’s weight pressed into the mattress as he rolled me over, his hands sliding along the curve of my waist and down to my hips as our legs tangled together. My fingers curled into the fabric of his t-shirt, pulling him closer as the world outside my room melted away. Every shift of his body against mine, every brush of his fingertips against bare skin, ignited a fire I couldn’t ignore.
His lips trailed down to my jaw, slow and deliberate, sending a wave of heat rushing through me. His breath was warm against my neck, and I arched into him instinctively, feeling his body tense in response.
I tugged at the hem of his shirt, and he obliged, pulling it over his head and tossing it to the floor. My eyes traced the lines of his shoulders, the way his muscles moved as he leaned back down, his delicate chain dangling over me, his hands framing my face like he needed to commit every detail to memory. My own hands wandered, exploring the warmth of his skin, the tension in his back as he pressed closer.
The cool air hit my skin as he slid the strap of my camisole off my shoulder, his lips replacing it with a trail of soft, heated kisses that moved to my collarbone. My heart raced as I looked up at the ceiling of my room, every sense heightened as his hands roamed lower, his touch firm but unhurried.
My breath caught in my throat as Nicholas’s lips continued their slow descent, every kiss igniting sparks along my skin. My hands moved of their own accord, tangling in his hair, pulling him closer as I arched into his touch. His hand slid under the hem of my camisole, his fingers splaying over my ribs as he paused to look at me, his dark brown eyes asking the silent question.
I nodded, and his lips were back on mine in an instant, the kiss growing more intense, as he bunched the fabric in his palm and pulled it off of me, leaving me bare-chested. He pulled back and drank the sight of me in, his jaw going tight as he closed his eyes and pressed his forehead against mine.
For a moment, I grew self-conscious, thinking maybe he would pull away completely now that he’s seen me half-naked. Maybe I didn’t measure up to the girls he’s been with. “Is something wrong?” I quietly asked.
Nicholas shook his head almost immediately, his forehead still resting against mine as he let out a shaky breath. His hands moved to cradle my face, his thumbs brushing over my cheeks as his dark brown eyes opened to meet mine. They were softer now, but no less intense.
“No, fuck no,” he muttered, his voice low and rough, like he was trying to find the right words and failing. He pulled back just enough to look at me, his brown eyes locking onto mine. “You’re perfect, (Y/N). That’s the problem.”
The raw honesty in his tone made my breath hitch, my heart pounding so loudly I was sure he could hear it. I swallowed hard, my gaze dropping for a moment before flicking back up to him. “Then why did you—?”
“I needed a second,” he interrupted softly, his voice almost strained as he cupped my cheek, his thumb brushing over my flushed skin. “You’re just—you’re making it really hard to be the good guy here.”
His words sent a rush of heat through me, my heart pounding in my chest as I searched his face. “I’m not asking you to be the good guy,” I whispered, my voice trembling slightly.
“You sure?” he murmured against my lips, his voice barely above a whisper. “Because if we do this, there’s no going back. Your brother’s gonna kill me if he finds out, and I don’t—” He broke off, his jaw tightening as he pulled back to look at me again. “I don’t want to fuck this up.”
I reached up to frame his face, my thumbs brushing over his cheekbones as I held his gaze. “I want this, Nic,” I said softly, my voice steady now despite the chaos in my chest.
For a moment, he didn’t say anything, his eyes searching mine like he was trying to figure out if I really meant it. Then, with a quiet curse, he groaned quietly, like he was fighting an internal battle, before he leaned down to kiss me again. This time, it wasn’t tentative or testing — it was all-consuming.
I gasped softly into the kiss, my hands gripping his shoulders as he pulled me closer, his body pressing against mine with a heat that made it impossible to think straight. His hands slid down my sides, his touch rougher now, less restrained, like he was done holding himself back.
Nicholas’s lips trailed down my neck, his teeth grazing the sensitive skin there, and I couldn’t bite back the quiet moan that escaped me. He groaned in response, his fingers gripping my hips tightly as he buried his face in the crook of my neck. “Jesus, baby, you’re gonna wake the whole house,” he muttered, his voice rough and muffled against my skin.
I let out a breathless laugh, tugging on his hair to make him look at me. “You’re the one talking so much,” I shot back, my voice barely above a whisper.
His dark eyes narrowed slightly, the corner of his mouth twitching in annoyance. “Oh, is that right?” he said, his tone low and dangerous as he leaned in close, his lips brushing against my ear. “You’re the one moaning like you don’t give a shit if your brother hears us.”
My cheeks burned, and I glared at him, my hand smacking lightly against his chest. “You’re an asshole,” I muttered, but the smirk at the end of my lips betrayed any conviction I’d intended to convey.
Nicholas caught my wrist gently, grinning and clearly pleased with himself, and pinned it against the pillows above my head, “And you’re a fucking tease,” he whispered, a teasing glint in his eyes. He planted a wet kiss on my lips, murmuring, “Okay, we both stay quiet then, deal?”
I bit my lip, narrowing my eyes at him, the corner of my mouth twitching with a mix of annoyance and amusement. “Fine,” I whispered, my voice barely audible but dripping with playful defiance.
Nicholas’s grin deepened, and he leaned down, brushing his nose against my own before pulling back completely and resting back on his heels as his fingers trailed down to the waistband of my shorts. His fingers lingered, his touch light but deliberate as his dark brown eyes locked onto mine. His teasing smirk faltered, replaced by something softer, something that made my heart pound harder than I thought possible. He hesitated for just a second, like he needed one last confirmation, and I gave him a small nod, my breath catching in my throat as I lifted my hips slightly.
He exhaled softly, almost like he was steadying himself, before he slid my shorts and underwear down in one smooth motion, leaving me completely bare beneath him. The air felt cool against my skin, and I had to fight the instinct to cover myself. Instead, I forced myself to hold his gaze, my cheeks flushed and my heart racing.
Nicholas’s eyes swept over me, slow and deliberate, like he was committing every detail to memory. He let out a quiet curse, his jaw tightening as he ran a hand through his hair. “Fuck,” he murmured, almost to himself, as he leaned down to rest his forehead on my stomach and leaving lingering kisses near my navel.
My fingers instinctively found their way to his hair, tangling in the soft strands as I looked down at him. He rested there for a moment, his breath warm against my skin as he closed his eyes, like he needed a second to process everything.
I let out a soft laugh, the sound trembling slightly as I tugged gently on his hair. “You’re so dramatic,” I teased, my voice light but full of warmth. “Are you sure you’ve seen a girl naked before?”
He shot his head up, his eyebrows flared in surprise, and for a split second, I thought I might’ve caught him off guard. But then his smirk returned, sharper now, and he grabbed both my wrists in one hand, pinning them above my head as he shifted to cover me completely. “Oh, you’re gonna regret saying that,” he growled playfully, his voice dropping an octave as his free hand skimmed down my side, his touch light but promising.
I squirmed under him, trying to hide the way his teasing touch was already getting to me. I don’t know what it was about Nicholas that brought out this side of me — teasing, defiant — but I loved it.
“You’re such a—” My words cut off in a gasp as he pressed his hips against mine, the sudden pressure of his sweatpants against my bare self making me lose my train of thought completely.
Nicholas chuckled softly, the sound low and dangerous as he leaned in closer, his breath warm against my ear. “What was that, baby?” he murmured, his tone smug. “You were saying something?”
I glared at him, my cheeks burning, and wriggled my wrists under his palm, “Nic, the longer you’re not inside me, the more time you’re giving my brother to wake up.”
Nicholas froze, his dark eyes widening for just a second before narrowing into something almost predatory. The smirk tugging at the corner of his lips turned wicked, and his grip on my wrists tightened slightly as he pressed his forehead against mine. But then, he let out a soft laugh, shaking his head as if he couldn’t believe what he’d just heard. “Fine,” he murmured, his tone dropping even lower, sending a shiver down my spine.
He released my wrists, and I immediately brought my hands to his chest, letting my fingers trail over the defined muscles before sliding them down toward the waistband of his sweatpants. My heart raced, my cheeks burning as I hooked my fingers under the fabric.
Nicholas shifted slightly, propping himself on his elbows as he watched me, his dark eyes hooded with intensity. The faint smirk tugging at his lips remained as I hesitated for a moment, my fingers gripping the waistband of his sweatpants. I could feel his breath on my skin, warm and steady, as if he were daring me to go further.
Slowly, deliberately, I tugged the fabric down his hips, the soft material sliding against his skin. His muscles tensed slightly beneath my touch, and I couldn’t help the way my breath hitched as his length slipped out — ready and aching. The tension between us was palpable, the room heavy with anticipation as I pushed his sweatpants lower until they pooled around his knees.
Nicholas’s hands found my hips, his grip firm but not rough as he leaned down to kiss me again, his lips capturing mine in a way that made me forget everything else. His body pressed against mine, the heat of his skin sending a rush of warmth through me as his hands trailed up my sides, fingers skimming the sensitive skin just beneath my ribs.
For a moment, we just stayed like that, our breaths mingling as we stared at each other, the unspoken tension between us reaching its peak. Nicholas’s gaze was intense, his dark eyes searching mine as if he were asking for permission one last time.
I didn’t bother nodding. Instead, I reached to wrap my hand around his length and guide him in, to which Nicholas responded by burying his head in the crook of my neck and muttering a quiet, “Fuck,” before reaching to replace my hand with his own. “You’re so wet already.”
The air seemed to still, the only sound in the room being the soft rustle of sheets and our breathing — ragged, uneven. Nicholas moved slowly at first, his grip on my hips tightening as he inserted himself into me. I let out a whimper as I felt every inch of him, the way he stretched and filled me, his warmth burning into me like a fire I never wanted to put out.
My hand found its way to his back, my nails digging lightly into his skin as I arched beneath him, a quiet gasp slipping past my lips. “Nic…” His name came out in a breathy whisper, and the sound of it seemed to spur him on. His hips moved, deliberate and measured, and every movement sent shockwaves through me.
“Baby,” he murmured into my neck, his voice strained and breathless. “You feel so fucking good.”
The heat pooling in my stomach grew with every roll of his hips, my body responding to him in a way that felt instinctual, like I had been waiting for this moment all along. His hand slid down to grip my thigh, pulling it higher around his waist as he angled himself deeper, drawing a sharp cry from me that I quickly muffled with my free hand.
“Shh,” he teased softly, his lips brushing against my ear as he chuckled, though his voice was tight with restraint. His breath was warm against my skin as he added, “You don’t want your brother barging in, do you?”
I shot him a glare through my haze of pleasure, but it was useless. Nicholas was in control now, and he knew it. The rhythm of his hips changed, slower but impossibly deeper, making it even harder to stay quiet. I bit down on my lip, my hand reaching to clutch at the sheets as waves of heat rolled through me with every deliberate thrust.
Nicholas shifted slightly, his lips brushing over my jawline before capturing my lips again in a kiss that was just as demanding as the way his body moved against mine. His free hand trailed up my side, his thumb grazing over the sensitive skin just below my ribs, making me shiver beneath him. His hand trailed further down, pressing down on my lower abdomen as if he could feel himself moving inside.
The added pressure made me gasp, my head tilting back as pleasure rippled through me, sharp and consuming, and quickly I covered my mouth again. Nicholas groaned in response, the sound low and guttural, and I realized just how loud he was getting. My heart raced, panic and desire tangling together as I reached up and pressed my other hand over his mouth, muffling the next moan that slipped from his lips.
His dark eyes widened in surprise for a split second before narrowing, a flicker of something mischievous and dangerous sparking there. His hips slowed, the deliberate roll of his body against mine making my own breathing hitch. He didn’t protest my hand, though — instead, he leaned into it, his tongue flicking out to trace along my palm teasingly, his eyes locked onto mine as if daring me to keep him quiet.
I clenched my jaw, trying to hold onto some semblance of control, but it was useless. Every movement of his hips, every flick of his tongue against my skin, was breaking me down piece by piece. He shifted slightly, angling deeper, and I bit down hard on my lip to stop the moan that threatened to escape.
I peeled the hand I had over my mouth, “Nic,” I hissed under my breath, my voice shaking as I glared at him. “You’re impossible.”
He grinned against my hand, his dark eyes hooded and filled with heat as his hips rolled again, drawing another muffled gasp from me. His free hand slid up my thigh, gripping firmly before pulling my leg higher around his waist, allowing him to press even deeper. The sensation was overwhelming, and my fingers flexed against his face as I tried to stifle my own sounds.
Nicholas groaned again, louder this time, and I pressed my hand harder against his mouth, shooting him a warning look. “Shh,” I whispered harshly, my voice trembling as I struggled to keep my own composure.
He nodded slightly, his lips brushing against my palm in silent agreement, but the way his hips moved told me he had no intention of slowing down. If anything, his pace quickened, each thrust more precise, more deliberate, as if he were testing just how far he could push me before I completely unraveled.
My hand stayed over his mouth, but I could feel the vibrations of his muffled groans against my skin, each one sending a fresh wave of heat coursing through me. My free hand clutched at his shoulder, nails digging into his skin as my body arched beneath him, helpless to the rhythm he’d set.
The tension between us was unbearable, every movement, every touch pushing me closer to the edge. My heart pounded in my chest, my breaths coming in short, uneven gasps as I fought to stay quiet, to stay in control. But Nicholas wasn’t making it easy. The hand he was using to press down on my lower abdomen slipped between us, his fingers brushing against the sensitive spot where our bodies met, and I couldn’t stop the sharp cry that escaped me.
His eyes flicked up to mine, a wicked smile tugging at the corners of his lips even as they remained muffled against my hand. He pressed his fingers harder, circling with just enough pressure to send me spiraling. My body tensed, every nerve ending on fire as pleasure crashed over me in waves, and I had to bite down hard on my lip to keep from crying out. That’s when he let go of the thigh he had wrapped around his waist and guided his hand over my mouth, pressing down to muffle my sounds.
And now, we were both there, covering the other’s mouth with our hands, trying so hard to fight back our moans. All we could hear was the sounds of skin and our labored breaths blowing through our nostrils.
The room was thick with tension, every sound amplified as we moved together, muffling each other as if the act itself were part of the thrill. Nicholas’s hand covered my mouth firmly, his dark eyes locking onto mine as his hips drove deeper, more deliberate. Each thrust sent waves of heat rippling through me, my body trembling as I teetered on the edge of control.
My breaths were shallow, uneven, my free hand clutching at his shoulder as the tension in my stomach coiled tighter and tighter. His other hand slid down my thigh, pulling my leg higher around his waist to angle himself deeper, and the sensation was overwhelming. My head tilted back, the cry building in my throat muffled against his palm.
I was close — so close it felt like every nerve in my body was on fire. Nicholas must have sensed it because his pace quickened, his movements more erratic as he chased the edge with me. His lips curved into a smirk against my hand, but the dark intensity in his gaze told me he was just as affected.
When the tension snapped, it was like a dam breaking. My thighs trembled around him, my breaths coming out in sharp, uneven bursts, as I arched beneath him, a wave of pleasure crashing over me so powerful it left me shaking. Nicholas’s hand pressed tighter against my mouth, muffling the sharp cry that escaped me as I clung to him, my nails digging into his back. He groaned in response, his movements faltering as he watched me fall apart beneath him, my hand covering his mouth falling limp over my forehead.
“Fuck,” he muttered under his breath, his voice rough and strained. His hand stayed firmly over my mouth, his other sliding down to hold my hip as his pace grew erratic, desperate.
I barely had time to catch my breath before I realized he was close too. His movements grew rougher, his control unraveling as his own breathing turned ragged. The hand covering my mouth loosened slightly, and I took the opportunity to nip at his finger, earning a low growl from him as he pulled it away.
Nicholas’s eyes snapped to mine, wide with surprise. “What the hell—” he started, but I cut him off with a fierce whisper.
“You better pull out,” I hissed, my voice sharp despite the trembling in my tone.
Nicholas’s jaw tightened as my words registered, his dark eyes narrowing with a mix of frustration and urgency. His breath hitched, and I could feel the tension radiating off him as he fought for control, his hips stuttering in their rhythm. “I’ve got it,” he muttered, his voice strained and low, almost as if he were trying to reassure himself as much as me.
“Nic,” I pressed, my tone firm despite the lingering haze of pleasure coursing through me. My nails raked lightly down his back, urging him to listen, to not lose himself completely.
He nodded, his movements becoming deliberate, careful. His hand shifted to grip my waist tightly, steadying himself as his breathing grew heavier. “I’m not gonna—” His words cut off with a guttural groan, and I felt his body tremble against mine, his restraint fraying with each passing second.
At the last possible moment, Nicholas pulled out with a strangled curse, his hand reaching down to finish himself. His dark eyes fluttered shut, his jaw clenched as his release spilled across my stomach, warm and lingering. The sight of him unraveling like that, the raw vulnerability etched into his features, made my chest tighten.
For a few moments, the only sound in the room was our heavy breathing, his body still hovering above mine as he tried to catch his breath. His head dipped forward, his lips brushing softly against my temple as he whispered, “Are you okay?”
I nodded, my voice catching slightly as I answered, “Yeah, I’m okay.” My hands found his shoulders, grounding both of us as he shifted to sit back on his heels. His gaze softened as it roamed over me, searching for any sign of discomfort or regret.
“I didn’t—” he started, his voice hoarse and unsteady, but I cut him off with a small smile.
“You didn’t,” I reassured him, reaching up to trace the edge of his jaw.
Nicholas exhaled sharply, his shoulders relaxing as he leaned down, pressing a lingering kiss to my lips. It wasn’t rushed or heated like before; it was gentle, filled with a quiet kind of affection that made my heart ache. When he pulled back, his fingers brushed lightly across my stomach, his touch careful and almost apologetic.
“Let me clean you up,” he murmured, his voice soft as he reached over to grab a discarded shirt, maybe mine, from the edge of the bed.
I rolled my eyes, my lips twitching in amusement as I watched him carefully clean me up, his movements surprisingly gentle despite the teasing smirk still tugging at his lips. When he was done, he leaned down to press a soft kiss to my stomach, his lips lingering for just a moment before lying down beside me, pulling me into his arms without hesitation. His body was warm and solid against mine, his breathing still slightly uneven as his fingers traced idle patterns on my shoulder.
The silence that followed was thick but not uncomfortable. Nicholas’s fingers moved gently across my skin, as if he were trying to map every inch of me. My cheek rested against his chest, his heartbeat steady and grounding beneath my ear. I closed my eyes, letting myself sink into the moment, even as a thousand unspoken thoughts swirled between us.
It felt natural, lying there with him. His hand slipped to my hair, tangling in the strands softly, and I let out a contented sigh. Neither of us said anything for a long time, the stillness interrupted only by the sound of our breaths syncing together.
Nicholas was the one to break the silence, his voice low and husky. “What time is it?”
I blinked, my mind still clouded from everything that had just happened. I tilted my head toward my bedside table, squinting at the digital clock. “Almost three,” I mumbled.
He groaned, dragging a hand down his face while tightening the arm he had around me briefly before letting out a resigned sigh. “Your brother’s gonna wake up in a few hours.”
“Exactly,” I muttered, untangling myself from his arms and sitting up, “which is why you need to get out of here.”
Nicholas smirked as he sat up as well, his dark brown eyes watching me closely. “Kicking me out already?” he teased, his voice low and playful. “I’m starting to feel used, baby.”
I rolled my eyes, climbing out of bed and walking past my dirty camisole that was discarded on the floor to reach into my dresser and pull out a clean shirt, “You’re impossible, you know that?”
“You’re the one that asked me to stay,” he quipped, leaning back on his hands as if he had all the time in the world.
I shot him a warning look, but it only seemed to amuse him further. Letting out an exasperated sigh, I grabbed my shorts from the floor as I walked back over to the bed and tossed them in his direction. “If you’re so eager to hang around, you can help me get dressed. I think that’s the least you can do after fucking your best friend’s sister.”
Nicholas froze for a moment, his smirk faltering as his dark eyes widened slightly at my words. A laugh escaped him, low and incredulous, as he shook his head. “Wow, you really don’t hold back, do you?”
I crossed my arms, raising an eyebrow at him, smirking. “Am I wrong?”
He didn’t answer immediately. Instead, he grabbed my shorts from where they landed and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees as he beckoned me closer with a playful glint in his eyes. “Alright, princess. Let me help.”
With an exaggerated sigh, I stepped closer, though the flush creeping up my neck betrayed my nonchalance. Nicholas patted his thigh, gesturing for me to stand between his legs. His hands were warm as they slid up my calves to my thighs, holding me steady as he crouched slightly to help me into the shorts.
His movements were slow, deliberate, as he guided the fabric up my legs. He tugged the waistband gently, his thumbs brushing against my hips before snapping the shorts into place. His dark eyes flicked up to meet mine, and for a moment, the teasing glint softened into something quieter, something that made my heart stutter.
I reached for the clean shirt I’d left on the bed, but Nicholas beat me to it, picking it up with a smirk. “Arms up,” he instructed, his tone mockingly authoritative as he held the shirt open.
Rolling my eyes but unable to stop the small smile tugging at my lips, I raised my arms, letting him slip the shirt over my head. His hands brushed against my skin as he adjusted the hem, smoothing it down over my waist. When he leaned back on his hands to admire his handiwork, his smirk returned, but it was softer now.
“There,” he murmured, his voice lower now. “Good as new.”
“Thanks,” I said softly, my stomach fluttering. I bent down and reached for Nicholas’s clothes and tossed them to him.
Nicholas caught the bundle of his clothes easily, the smirk on his face growing as he stood to pull his sweatpants back on. I watched as he stuffed his dick into his sweats, my cheeks growing hot as he then slipped into his shirt. The chain around his neck glinted faintly in the dim light as he adjusted it, his dark eyes flicking back to mine.
Nicholas smiled softly, running a hand through his tousled hair as he stepped toward the bathroom door.
I followed him as he reached for the door, keeping my voice low. “Please don’t tell anyone about tonight.”
He turned to face me, leaning one shoulder against the doorframe as his smirk softened into something more genuine. “Relax, baby. Your secret’s safe with me.” The teasing lilt in his voice was gone, replaced by a quiet sincerity that made my chest tighten.
I nodded, swallowing hard as I tried to ignore the fluttering in my stomach. “Good.”
He pushed the door open slowly, peeking into the bathroom to make sure it was still quiet on the other side. Just as he stepped through, he glanced back over his shoulder, his smirk returning in full force. He winked, disappearing into the bathroom with a quiet click of the door.
I rolled my eyes, biting back a smile. I stood there for a moment, staring at the closed door as the reality of everything that had just happened settled over me.
My skin still tingled everywhere he’d touched me, his hands, his lips, the way his voice had dropped when he whispered my name. It all replayed in my head, over and over and over. With a deep breath, I turned back to my bed, doing a horrible job of biting back the smirk on my lips.
I should’ve been panicking — thinking about what my brother would do if he found out, but all I could feel was a heady mix of excitement and disbelief. I had just slept with Nicholas, my brother’s best friend.
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ho, ho, hoe ⎜m.barzal
🎄pairings: mat barzal x afab!reader 🎄genre: romance ⎜christmas special ⎜smut ⎜friends to lovers⎜ 🎄warnings: mat is in love and not great at hiding it ⎜alcohol consumption ⎜ drunk sex ⎜missionary ⎜p in v⎜pretty vanilla overall ⎜ marking/hickeys⎜ just a dude in love ⎜awkward love confessions ⎜very minimal smut tbh ⎜ 🎄synopsis: an accidental christmas hook up, becomes so much more when your hoe of a best friend catches feelings. 🎄word count: 5.2k 🎄authors note: this is my first of several christmas fics - there will not be a part 2 but I hope you all enjoy!! christmas fic list
(unedited)
“Come on, you promised,” Mat said, his voice teasing as he nudged you out of the car. “It’s one party. You’ll survive.”
You glared at him, tightening your coat against the icy December air. “You ambushed me. I never said yes.”
“Details.” His smirk deepened, and you hated how easily it chipped away at your resolve. “Besides, you’ve been sulking at home for two weeks. Consider this an intervention. No one should be this much of a Grinch in December.”
It was impossible to argue with Mat Barzal. You’d learned that years ago. He had a way of wrapping his words in charm and layering them with just enough humour to get his way. It didn’t help that his ridiculous good looks made you forget you were supposed to be mad at him.
Mat was your best friend—the kind of friend who’d been there through every bad breakup, every celebration, every boring Tuesday night when all you needed was a movie marathon and pizza. He was also, as you liked to call him, a professional-grade hoe. Always flirting, always texting someone new, always shamelessly charming his way into trouble.
So, of course, it was Mat who had dragged you to this Christmas party. And of course, he’d conveniently forgotten to mention that the guest list included a suspicious number of his teammates, their dates, and not many people you actually knew.
You tugged your itchy sweater down and shot him a glare. “If this is your idea of a fun Friday night, I’m starting to question our friendship.”
“You’ll thank me later.” He slung an arm over your shoulder, steering you toward the door. “Trust me, you’re gonna have a great time.”
What Mat didn’t say—and wouldn’t dare admit—was that he’d spent weeks working up the nerve to do this. To spend more time with you outside the cozy bubble of friendship. To finally figure out if the feelings he’d been burying for years were one-sided or if maybe, just maybe, you felt the same way.
But Mat was a coward when it came to you. A hoe, sure. But only because it was easier to flirt with strangers than risk what you had.
Inside, the party was in full swing. Twinkling lights strung across the room, the faint scent of pine and cider in the air, and a playlist that was just loud enough to drown out awkward small talk.
Mat stayed close, his hand brushing yours as you made your way through the crowd. He didn’t miss the way you wrinkled your nose at the chaos, and his grin softened. “Alright, Scrooge. Let’s get you a drink.”
You let him pull you toward the kitchen, rolling your eyes. “I don’t know why you’re so insistent on dragging me out like this. Don’t you have ten other girls you could be charming right now?”
His smirk faltered for just a moment, so brief you almost missed it. “Maybe I like spending time with you.”
The words hung between you, light but heavy, before he quickly added, “Besides, no one else would put up with your terrible attitude about Christmas.” You laughed, and Mat felt the tension ease, though the knot in his chest didn’t loosen.
One day, he thought.
One day he’d tell you the truth.
The kitchen was quieter than the rest of the party, the hum of conversation and Christmas music muffled by the thick walls. Mat handed you a cup of something that smelled strongly of peppermint schnapps and took a long sip of his own.
“This is terrible,” you said after a cautious taste, wrinkling your nose.
Mat grinned. “It’s festive.”
“It tastes like someone melted a candy cane into rubbing alcohol.”
“Exactly.” He raised his cup in a mock toast. “Happy holidays.”
You clinked cups with him, rolling your eyes. Typical Mat—always the life of the party, always ready with a sarcastic comment or a sly grin to keep you on your toes. You couldn’t help but smile as he leaned back against the counter, his dark hair slightly messy and his cheeks already flushed from the heat of the room.
“So,” he said, tilting his head toward you. “Having fun yet?”
“I’ll let you know when it starts.”
He laughed, the sound warm and familiar, and you couldn’t help but join in. It was easy to relax around Mat, even in a setting where you felt like a complete outsider.
As the night wore on, the two of you lingered in the kitchen, your drinks steadily disappearing. Mat’s stories became a little louder, his laugh a little freer, and you felt yourself loosening up too.
“Remember that time we tried to make cookies in my apartment?” he asked, his voice slightly slurred.
“How could I forget?” You grinned, leaning against the counter beside him. “You set the oven on fire.”
“It wasn’t a fire,” he protested, gesturing with his cup. “It was a… controlled open flame.”
“Your neighbours didn’t think so.”
“Yeah, well, they hated me anyway.” Mat chuckled, his eyes crinkling at the corners. “But you stayed. Even when I ruined the cookies.”
“You had alcohol,” you said simply, and he laughed again, shaking his head.
“I mean it,” he said, his voice softening. “You’re always there for me. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
The sincerity in his tone caught you off guard, but before you could respond, he downed the rest of his drink and changed the subject.
“Okay, real talk,” he said, setting his empty cup on the counter. “What’s your deal with Christmas? Why do you hate it so much?”
“I don’t hate it,” you said defensively. “I just think it’s… overrated.”
“Overrated?” He looked at you like you’d just insulted his entire family. “You’re breaking my heart over here.”
You laughed, shaking your head. “It’s fine. It’s just not my thing.”
“Maybe you’ve been doing it wrong,” he said, his grin lopsided. “You should let me show you how it’s done.”
“And how’s that?”
“For starters…” He reached over, tugging gently at the sleeve of your overused christmas sweater. “This thing has got to go. You look like a rejected elf.”
“Excuse me?” You stared at him, mock-offended, and he burst out laughing.
“I’m kidding! Mostly.” He leaned closer, his voice dropping slightly. “You’re the only person I know who can make something that ugly look good.”
The comment sent a flutter through your chest, but you brushed it off as just another one of Mat’s usual flirtatious remarks. He was always saying things like that—half-joking, half-serious—and you’d learned not to read too much into them.
Still, as the drinks kept flowing and the night wore on, Mat’s comments started to feel… different. Softer. More pointed.
“You know,” he said at one point, “sometimes I think you don’t see yourself the way everyone else does.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
He shrugged, his gaze fixed on his cup. “Just that you’re… you know. Amazing. Like, actually amazing. And you don’t even realise it.”
You laughed nervously, unsure how to respond. “Okay, you’re definitely drunk.”
“Tipsy, maybe,” he admitted, a crooked grin on his face. “But that doesn’t mean I’m wrong.” Before you could press him further, someone burst into the kitchen, dragging Mat into a conversation about hockey and leaving you standing there, your mind buzzing as much from his words as from the alcohol.
As the night wound down, you found yourself back where you started—leaning against the counter, your cup nearly empty, with Mat by your side. The party had thinned out, voices from the living room fading into a low hum.
He was quieter now, his usual spark mellowed by the weight of the night and whatever thoughts had been lingering behind his lopsided smile.
“You’re staring,” you teased, breaking the silence.
“Am I?” His lips quirked up, but he didn’t look away. “Maybe I’ve just got a lot to think about.”
“You need a brain for that” You hoped your voice sounded steadier than you felt.
He hesitated, his fingers tapping rhythmically against the countertop. “Like how you’re still here,” he said finally. “When you could’ve bailed hours ago. But you didn’t.”
“Maybe I’m a sucker for bad holiday parties,” you joked, but the warmth in his gaze made your chest tighten.
“Or maybe,” he said, stepping just a little closer, “you like spending time with me as much as I like spending time with you.”
It was the kind of thing he’d say all the time, casual and easy, except now there was something behind it. Something that made the air between you feel heavier. Charged.
Maybe it was the alcohol?
Or maybe it was something you had been feeling all night - a shift.
“Mat,” you began, but the words caught in your throat when his hand brushed against yours, tentative and testing.
“Tell me to stop,” he murmured, his voice low and serious now. “And I will.”
You didn’t.
You couldn’t.
Instead, you closed the space between you, your fingers curling around the front of his shirt to pull him down into a kiss. It wasn’t careful or calculated—just instinct, like you’d been waiting for this moment longer than you cared to admit.
His arms slid around your waist, pulling you closer as the kiss deepened, and for once, the rest of the world didn’t matter. Not the bad music, not the overplayed holiday cheer, not even the fact that anyone could walk in at any second.
“Guess the party’s starting now,” he said breathlessly when you finally broke apart, his forehead resting against yours.
“Shut up,” you muttered, laughing as you pulled him back in.
Mat’s laugh rumbled softly against your lips before his hands shifted at your waist, pulling you even closer. The kiss slowed, turning into something softer, sweeter, but no less intense. His fingers traced light patterns along the curve of your back, and you found yourself melting into his touch, the rest of the room falling away entirely.
When the sound of voices drifted closer—someone coming down the hallway, loud and unsteady—you both broke apart, the spell momentarily shattered. Mat took a step back, his eyes lingering on yours, a sheepish grin playing on his lips.
“Guess we’ve got an audience incoming,” he said, nodding toward the approaching voices.
“Probably shouldn’t give them a show,” you replied, your cheeks burning. Your hands dropping to straighten out your sweater, your cheeks burning a bright red as you turn away from your friend - taking a few sobering breaths. You turn back to Mat slowly, your eyebrows lifting as you find him already staring at your, his cheeks burning as much as yours.
“I don’t think I’m finished with tonight.” He says slowly - adding, “but I’m definitely done with this party.” His Adams apple bobbing as he watches your mind turn a hundred miles an hour.
“Oh, well there’s a bar down the street thats usually open late.” You note, Mat’s brows furrowing as he shakes his head.
“That’s not—,” Mat lets out a soft sigh, his smile soft on his face as he spits out, “I’m trying to ask you to come home with me.”
The words hung in the air between you, heavy and electric, like a string pulled taut. You blinked, unsure if you’d heard him correctly, or if the adrenaline coursing through your veins was playing tricks on you.
“Home,” you repeated slowly, testing the word on your tongue. Your voice came out softer than you intended, barely audible over the distant thrum of the party.
Mat nodded, his gaze steady but vulnerable, like he was bracing himself for the answer. “Yeah. With me.”
Your heart hammered in your chest, each beat reverberating in your ears. The room around you blurred—the noise, the decorations, the faint smell of spiked cider—and all you could focus on was the way his thumb brushed against his palm, the slight twitch of his jaw as he waited.
This wasn’t like him. Mat, the always-casual, too-cool-to-be-flustered Mat, was standing in front of you looking like his world might tilt depending on your response.
You took a breath, your pulse skipping as you leaned in just enough that your words were for him alone. “Okay,” you whispered, the weight of the decision melting into something exhilarating as you saw his grin break through.
“Yeah?” he asked, voice quieter now, carrying an edge of disbelief, like he couldn’t quite believe his luck.
You nodded, a small smile playing on your lips. “Yeah.”
His hand found yours again, this time with more certainty, fingers lacing through yours as he gave a gentle tug. “Let’s get out of here before someone stops us.”
You followed without hesitation, weaving through the scattered crowd, ignoring the knowing glances and side comments. The cool night air hit your face the moment you stepped outside, sharp and refreshing compared to the stuffy warmth of the party. Mat didn’t let go of your hand, his thumb brushing over your knuckles in a way that sent shivers down your spine.
And as he led you down the street, your hand still in his, you felt something settle in you, a kind of rightness you hadn’t expected and couldn’t deny.
The walk to Mat's place was quiet but charged, every step a wordless conversation. The city hummed around you—car engines purring in the distance, the occasional laughter spilling from a bar’s open door—but it all felt like background noise. The real energy was in the small, subtle touches: the way his fingers tightened around yours when your hands brushed, or the way he glanced at you when he thought you wouldn’t notice.
When you reached his building, Mat paused at the door, his free hand fishing out his keys. He hesitated, looking at you with a crooked smile, his breath visible in the cool air. “Last chance to back out,” he teased, but there was an edge of seriousness in his tone.
You rolled your eyes playfully, though your heart skipped. “Mat, if you don’t open that door in the next five seconds…”
His laugh was soft, barely louder than the jingle of the keys as he unlocked the door. “Alright, alright,” he said, pushing it open and holding it for you. “Come on in.”
The warmth of the lobby hit you immediately, a stark contrast to the chill outside. The building smelled faintly of pine—probably some festive candle someone had left at the front desk—and you followed him to the elevator, the silence between you comfortable now.
Inside the elevator, the closeness felt different. More intimate. The quiet hum of the machinery filled the space, but all you could hear was the sound of your own heartbeat. You caught Mat glancing at you out of the corner of his eye, his lips twitching like he wanted to say something but couldn’t find the words. Instead, his thumb resumed its soft pattern against your hand, grounding you.
When the doors slid open, Mat led you down the hallway to his apartment. The tension built with each step, your stomach doing little flips as you reached his door. He unlocked it smoothly, gesturing for you to step inside first.
His place was exactly what you’d imagined—warm, lived-in, and distinctly him. The couch had a throw blanket draped messily over one arm, and a few mismatched mugs were scattered on the coffee table. String lights twinkled softly along the windows, their golden glow casting cozy shadows across the room.
“Sorry about the mess,” he said, scratching the back of his neck as he shut the door behind you.
“It’s not messy,” you replied, taking it all in. It was charming, actually, and it felt... safe. “It’s nice.”
Mat exhaled a laugh, his shoulders relaxing a bit as he stepped closer, the space between you narrowing again. He reached out tentatively, his hand brushing your arm before sliding down to your hand.
“Still sure?” he asked, his voice quieter now, laced with something vulnerable.
You nodded, your fingers curling around his. “Still sure.”
That was all he needed. Mat pulled you in gently, his other hand finding your waist as his lips met yours. This time, there was no hesitation—no second-guessing. It was slower than before, but somehow even more consuming, like he was trying to memorise the feel of you, the way you fit against him.
One of mats hands reach up, tugging slowly on your hair scrunchie pulling it from the bun, letting your hair fall loose, his fingers playing with the strands as he leads you to his bedroom, his mouth never leaving yours as your arms loop around his neck. Mat’s lips make his way down your neck - pressing soft kisses as he tugs on the hem of your sweater, his lips only leaving your skin as he pulls the thick fabric over your head, his eyes immediately dropping down to your bra.
“I’m about to fucking combust.” Mat groans, the two of you falling onto his mattress, your head buried among the pillows as Mat sits up on his knees, taking in the sight of you as he rips his own soft hoodie over his head, his hands reaching out for the button on your jeans.
“God, you’re stunning.” Mat coos, as he slides your jeans down your legs, throwing them off to the side as he smoothes his hands down your body, his hands stopping at your knees as he pushes them apart, his body slotting slowly between them as he leans down to reattach his lips to your jaw - sucking harshly against the soft skin, a soft whine escaping you the blood rushing to the surface as an obvious bruise starts to form.
“Perfect.” He whispers, against your neck as he picks a new spot and sucks again.
“Mat.” You hiss, as his hand slowly dips in the waistband of your underwear, gently teasing your clit, his teeth skimming the skin on your neck as he pulls away. “If you don’t put your dick in me right now I swear to god.” You continue, your nails digging into his shoulders as he dips an experimental finger inside of you.
Mat doesn’t need to be told twice as he makes quick work of his own pants, his cock painfully hard as it leaks with premium - his body leaning over your as he rifles through his bed side table. “Wrap it before you tap it.” He jokes, your hands pulling your own underwear down your legs, throwing them off to the side as you take in Mat.
“Don’t ruin the moment.” You sigh, but your smile betrays your serious tone. You always knew the hockey player had a good body - his fitness levels beyond the average person, but seeing his stone cut figure was about to make you drool - your hands reaching out for him as he rolls the condom on his dick.
“Tell me if you need me to stop.” He whispers as he crawls back on top of you, his body slipping perfectly between your legs, his lips pressing a soft kiss against your cheek as he lines himself up. His head dropping into the crook of your neck as he pushes in, his movements slow and purposeful as he lets you adjust with each inch. “Is this okay?” He whispers into your hair, his hips moving excruciatingly slow as he pumps himself in and out.
He smiles as you nod, your lip trapped between your teeth as you let out a soft whimper, his hands placed on either side of your head as his movements speed up a little. “My pretty little pillow princess.” Mat coos, his fingers playing with the ends of your hair as the sound of skin on skin fills the room.
“Fuck Mat.” You hiss as his pelvis brushes against yours, your cunt clenching around him - his hips stuttering as he lets out a low groan.
“I’m close.” He hisses, your head nodding in agreement as your nails drag up his back tangling in soft hair, tugging lightly.
“I need more.” You breath out, Mat eye brows furrowing as he lifts himself up slightly, lifting a hand off the mattress, his fingers dipping between your body as he teases your clit softly.
“Shit.” He grunt as you squeeze around him again, his orgasm being pulled from him as he bottoms out inside of you, his fingers still working on your clit until he feels you clench tighter around him, a long whine escaping you as you cum. Mat’s body falls against yours, the two of your breathing heavily as your fingers continue to scrape against his scalp, a please sigh leaving him as his body melts on top of yours.
“Mat, I need to go to the bathroom.” You mumble, your eyes almost forcing themself closed as the heat radiating from your best friend tries to lull you to sleep. Mat lets out a grunt, lifting himself up just enough to capture your lips with his, his mouth spreading into a wide grin as he rolls off of you, discarding the condom as he lies on his back.
“There should be your favourite stuff under the counter if you need it.” He says softly, his eyes already closing, “Come back to me quickly.” He adds, his arm thrown over his eye as his breathing evens out.
You watch him for a few moments before dashing into his bathroom, facing the mirror as you take in your nest of hair and your flushed cheeks. “What the fuck did I do?” You sneer at your reflection, the bright red bruises on your neck sticking out like a sore thumb. You turn on the tap, using the cold water against your face before cleaning yourself up as quickly as possible, your frown deepening as you step out of the bathroom, Mat fast asleep in the bed, his body turned towards the empty space besides him.
“I’m sorry.” You whisper as you make your way over to the bed, leaning down and pressing a soft kiss against his temple before pulling your clothes back on as escaping your best friends house.
+
+
Three days passed quickly - your phone constantly dinging with a barrage of messages from Mat. You couldn’t bring yourself to respond. Your phone sat face down on the counter, Mat's unread messages and missed calls an ever-growing weight on your chest. You didn’t know what to say to him. You didn’t know how to face him after what had happened.
Every time you closed your eyes, you could feel his hands on you, his lips against yours. The memory of his soft laugh, the way he had asked you to come back to him—it all made your heart ache.
You fucked your best friend.
And then you ditched.
What if this ruined everything?
What if he regretted it?
You finally pick up your phone, glaring down at the messages waiting for you;
Matty ♥️: Hey, just wanted to check in, is everything okay?
Matty ♥️: I know this might’ve made things awkward but maybe we should meet up and talk?
Matty ♥️: I know you’re reading these, please answer me.
Matty ♥️: I miss you.
Fuck.
+
+
Mat was - rightfully - going out of his mind.
He hadn’t heard a word from you—no texts, no calls. You were ignoring him, and it was eating him alive. Every time his phone buzzed, he scrambled for it, only to find some pointless notification or a message from someone who wasn’t you.
He couldn't get the memory of your touch, your laugh, or the way you had whispered that quiet "I'm sorry" as you left his place. That had stuck with him, playing over and over in his head.
What were you sorry for?
Leaving?
Crossing the line between friends?
Or something more?
Matty ♥️: I miss you.
His most recent text. He’d sent it hours ago.
No response.
Again.
“God, what did I do?” he muttered to himself, running a hand through his hair. You had been his best friend for years. He knew you inside out—or at least, he thought he did. But now, it was like there was this wall between you, and he hated it.
Mat stared at his phone, his leg bouncing with nervous energy. His apartment felt suffocating, every quiet moment filled with the phantom echoes of your laughter or the soft murmur of your voice. He could still see you everywhere—in the hoodie you had borrowed and never returned, in the stupid inside jokes you’d scribbled on his fridge, in the way his couch smelled faintly like your perfume.
The silence was driving him insane.
He stood up abruptly, pacing the length of the room. “Fuck it,” he muttered under his breath, grabbing his jacket off the back of a chair. He didn’t even hesitate as he shoved his keys into his pocket and stepped out the door.
The drive to your place was short but felt agonisingly long. His grip on the steering wheel was tight, his mind racing with every possibility.
What if you didn’t want to see him?
What if this was it?
What if you hated him for what happened?
But he couldn’t sit around wondering anymore.
He needed to see you, to talk to you, to fix this—whatever this was now.
When he finally pulled up outside your building, the glow of your apartment light felt like both a taunt and a lifeline. He killed the engine and sat there for a moment, his heart pounding so hard he could feel it in his throat.
What was he even going to say? Hey, sorry I ruined everything, but also, I think I might love you? That sounded pathetic, even in his head.
But before he could second-guess himself, he was out of the car and heading toward your door. His knuckles rapped against the wood before he even realised what he was doing.
Inside, you froze. The sound of his knock sent a jolt of electricity through you. You hadn’t expected him to come here—not after how you had ghosted him. Your stomach twisted with guilt and something you couldn’t quite name.
“Hey, it’s me,” his voice came through the door, quieter than you’d ever heard him sound. “I—I know I should’ve waited for you to reach out, but... I can’t. I need to talk to you.” Your heart clenched. Part of you wanted to pretend you weren’t home, to let the silence stretch on. But the other part—the part that missed him so much it hurt—had already pulled you to the door.
You hesitated, your hand hovering over the doorknob. “Mat...” you finally said, your voice barely above a whisper.
“I’ll leave if you want me to,” he said quickly, his words spilling out like a flood. “But please—just tell me what’s going on. I’m going crazy over here.”
You bit your lip, a lump rising in your throat. The wall you’d been trying so hard to build was crumbling, and you didn’t know how to stop it. Slowly, you unlocked the door and opened it, just enough to see him standing there, his expression a mix of hope and heartbreak.
The sight of him made your chest tighten. “Mat...” you said again, your voice trembling.
“I’m sorry,” he blurted out, taking a small step closer. “For whatever I did, for whatever I said that made you leave. But you—you can’t just disappear on me like this. I need to know if we’re okay.”
And there it was. The question you had been avoiding. The answer you weren’t sure you even had.
You looked up at him, your eyes meeting his, and for a moment, everything else fell away.
“Are we?” you asked softly, your voice breaking on the words.
His brow furrowed, his gaze searching yours. “I don’t know,” he admitted, his voice rough with emotion. “But I want us to be.”
And just like that, the ache in your chest spilled over, and the tears you’d been holding back finally came.
Mat’s expression softened immediately at the sight of your tears. His hand twitched like he wanted to reach for you, but he held back, unsure if you’d let him. Instead, he just stood there, the weight of your silence filling the small space between you.
“I’m sorry,” you whispered, your voice cracking under the emotion. “I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know how to...” You trailed off, shaking your head as more tears spilled down your cheeks.
“Hey,” he said softly, stepping closer, his hesitation melting away. “You don’t have to apologise. I just—I’ve been losing my mind not knowing what you’re thinking. If I pushed you too far, if I—”
“It’s not that,” you interrupted, your voice firm despite the tears. “It’s not you, Mat. It’s me. I... what if we made the wrong choice?”
That stopped him. His brows knit together as he studied you, his confusion clear.
You sucked in a shaky breath, trying to gather your thoughts. “What if we ruined everything? What if things will never go back to how they were before? You’re my best friend, Mat, and I don’t—” Your voice broke again, and you bit your lip hard, willing yourself to keep it together.
His eyes widened slightly, something soft and vulnerable flickering across his face. “You think I don’t feel the same way?” he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.
You stared at him, your heart pounding so loudly you were sure he could hear it. “I don’t know,” you admitted, the words barely audible. “I don’t know what to think. I just know I can’t lose you.”
He let out a breath, running a hand through his hair as his gaze dropped to the floor. “You’re not gonna lose me,” he said finally, his voice steady but thick with emotion. “But, God, you’ve got to stop running away from me. From this.”
“I don’t know how,” you confessed, your voice trembling.
He looked up at you then, his eyes filled with something that made your chest tighten. “Then talk to me.”
Before you could say anything, he closed the distance between you, his hands finding yours with a gentleness that made your breath hitch. He held them tightly, grounding you in the moment.
“I don’t regret what happened,” he said firmly, his eyes locking onto yours. “Not for a second. And if you think for one minute that I’d let that ruin what we have, then you don’t know me as well as you think.”
His words hit you like a wave, crashing over the fear and uncertainty that had been suffocating you. You searched his face, looking for any trace of doubt, but all you found was sincerity.
“I’ve been in love with you for years,” he admitted, his voice soft but unwavering. “But I’m not scared of ruining what we had because what if I want something more?” He pauses taking in a deep breath, “What if I want you?”
The tears came faster now, but they felt different—lighter, freer. You didn’t know what to say, so you didn’t say anything. Instead, you did the only thing that felt right.
You stepped closer, your hands slipping from his to cup his face, and kissed him.
It wasn’t rushed or frantic like the first time. It was slow and tender, filled with everything you hadn’t been able to put into words.
When you finally pulled back, his forehead rested against yours, both of you breathing hard. “Don’t run away again,” he whispered, his voice shaky, “Please.”
“I won’t,” you promised, your voice steady this time. “I won’t.”
#mat barzal#mat barzal fic#mat barzal smut#mat barzal x reader#nhl#nhl fanfiction#nhl fic#nhl x reader#nhl smut#christmas special#christmas smut#nhl christmas
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Jarofstyles Fic Rec 2023 🪽
hello my loves! Here is our updated fic rec.
[some may be repeats of last year because we reread them!]
Also check out our fic rec account, @jarofstylesrecs for some we most definitely missed!
There are so many I want to put on here and I’ll update it again, but here we are! Let me know of any fics you recommend 🩷
WATTPAD-
Bambi- vanillasoy (or @queenofgraveyards here) (ceo soft H, in my top 5)
Flower- vanillasoy (bodyguard/grumpy h x sunshine ofc)
Devil’s Due- petite_cerise (classic dark!H)
Adonis- temptress_ (dark!H and fierce OFC)
Valhalla- temptress_ (Viking!H)
Baby Blue- theasstour (artist!H and model y/n)
Lucky Penny- alisonfelix (teacher h, soft, ofc finding herself)
Informed Consent- alisonfelix (college romance, absolutely tooth rotting fluff I’m obsessed)
One Night Stand- alisonfelix (short story, pregnancy one night stand plot. A lil angsty but cute)
Ladybug- _screamingcolour (50’s au, super cute)
Pirouette- _screamingcolour (ballerina ofc, so fucking cute it hurts)
Flower Girl- sushirrrry (idk how to describe but chef’s kiss)
Celestial- sushirrrry (WIP, it hurts but it feels good, nerdy h who loves the stars)
Wildflowers- latenightgab (assholeish tattoorry, single dad)
Jezebel- latenightgab (sugar daddy ceo x dancer teacher)
Office Hours- latenightgab (lawyer and professor H x student)
Pink Slip- stillhurtingstyles (plus size! Assistant y/n x boss h)
Always - styleslegend (my OG favorite fic, nerdy h x popular y/n, old but good)
A Lifetime With You- anenglishbird (supernatural au, witchy, adore it)
Inclination- peanutboyfriend (sexuality discovery, so good)
Aerial- peanutboyfriend (aerialist h and ofc, 60’s set, another top 10 fic)
1789- everlasts (period piece, just read it. French Revolution)
Breaking The Ice- sarbearfive (hockey!H)
Sail My Ridges- @1800titz (new but soooo fucking good. Piraterry, writing is phenomenal as usual)
The Devil is a Gentleman- @1800titz (again, writing is incredible. Kink heavy, lovely, bdsm club, masks, real estate agent H- just please read it)
Sinners Place- @shroombloomm (so fucking good, preistrry, all the good drama, 10/10)
Do I Wanna Know? - @eatyourhoneyh (trust me, stripper ofc. Obsessed)
Boston- witchysunflower (hockey h, cheating plot)
Haste- htownrry (pregnancy plot but unconventional, racer h, very good)
TUMBLR-
Prosecco- @moonchildstyles (older!H)
Gravity- @moonchildstyles (camboyrry)
Aster- @moonchildstyles (tattoorry grumpy sunshine)
Èlan- @moonchildstyles (bodyguardrry that pulled my heart strings)
firemanrry- @jawllines (softest H, made of sugar and the little puppy :( )
Ballerinarry- @jawllines (enemies to lovers, obsessed)
Young American- @0nlythrowharrybeaux (tattoo artists h and y/n, so well written)
Wolves- @0nlythrowharrybeaux (Wolfrry!!!)
A Good Fit- @0nlythrowharrybeaux (trust me, read)
LVRS CLUB- @0nlythrowharrybeaux (sex club slay)
Best Friend’s Dadrry- @gurugirl (exactly what it says. So good)
The Arrangement- @gurugirl (sugar daddy h!)
The Ex- @gurugirl (trusf me again)
The whole Knockout series- @freedomfireflies (yall don’t even know how feral this series makes me…)
404- @freedomfireflies (again obsessed, nerdy enemies chefs kiss)
Silk and Rope- @cupid-styles (dom/sub dynamic, so soft)
Only Angel- @cupid-styles (tattorry, experienced h, shy y/n)
Complicated Freak- @lukesaprince (best friends Dadrry is a weakness)
Rich- @lukesaprince (older! H, age gap,)
Mutually Beneficial - @cherryjuiceblues (Dom/sub dynamics, perfection!)
Could You Live With Just a Taste- @frioamor (Dom/sub, smut is mind blowing)
Love’s Divine- @atlafan (nanny!h omg)
Peaches & Cream- @atlafan (anything they write tbh)
You’re Someone I Just Want Around- @adashofniallandasprinkleoflunacy & @sunflowervolvimp3 (I put this every year bc I reread it every single year. I’m obsessed. My Roman Empire. I’ve never heard ‘like real people do’ the same since.)
Please You- @adorebeaa (again just trust me)?
Wolfrry- @adorebeaa (please I’m obsessed w this and the smut is incredible)
The Dark King- @shroombloomm (so so so so so good, dark obviously but I love it)
Achilles Heel- @angelisverba (I’m obsessed w their writing and plugrry but this smut is mind blowing)
#fic recs#fic rec#jarofstyles fic rec#jarofstyles#harry styles fanfiction#harry styles one shot#harry styles fanfic#harry styles smut#harry writing#harry styles imagine#harry drabble#harry styles blurb#harry styles writing#harry styles fic rec#harry styles fanfics#harry styles au#harry styles oneshots#harry styles angst#harry styles fluff#harry smut#harry fluff#harry angst
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hello! can I request txt the morning after you guys shared a bed for the first time?
The morning after sharing a bed with txt 。・:*˚:✧。
genre: fluff; romance
warnings: absolute fluff, kissing
description: The txt members reaction to waking up with you (sfw)
☾ Yeonjun
- as soon as he wakes up, he’ll just wrap his arms around you so tight, giving you the best sleepy hug ever
- “How did you sleep, baby? was it good?”
- he’s extra soft in the morning times, and now that he’s fully comfortable, he’s giving you bunches of kisses and hugs non stop
- Babes is just so happy he’s with you, honestly you guys just spend half of your day just enjoying each other in the bed
- he starts babying you so much too, like cuddling you and making sure you need and anything or if you are okay at all (he’s so in love with you tbh)
☆ Soobin
- morning cuddles are the absolute best with him let me tell you.
- you would wake up feeling so comfortable, like you could sleep for the whole day, he’s just so comfy
- He would ask you how you slept and check up on you as soon as you woke up
- but the mornings would be so relaxing and slow with him, it would be so nice and refreshing waking up to him
- He just wants to stay wrapped up with you forever :( Pls hug this baby extra tight
✧ Beomgyu
- he wakes up feeling so refreshed, when he sees you asleep on his chest, he feels so so happy.
- If you want to get out of bed, you’ll have to practically drag him because he is just so comfy in his own spot
- “Cmon, let’s just stay a little longer, please?”
- He gets so clingy and cute with that same goofy smile all over his face, except to be kissed all over by him
- now every night after that, he literally texts you every night that you aren’t with him wishing that you were, I bet he even has a special pillow with your perfume on it just so he is reminded of you when he falls asleep
♡ Taehyun
- Takes him a second to realize that he’s actually in the same bed as you, but when he does he starts blushing so hard
- I feel like he’d be the type to wake you up with a 5 star breakfast in bed with your favorite breakfast foods
- it would be so nice but he just has to go all out for his bae 🙈💘
- “How did you sleep? Was it easy falling asleep last night?” He’s so cute omg
- Will literally try to find his way in your skin, that’s how close he wants to be with you when he cuddles you
⚘ Huening Kai
- Baby just woke up to the best sleep of his life
- he literally went to bed smiling, now he woke up smiling
- has to wake you up with kisses, just because why not??? Like you are his literal favorite person ever and deserve a good way to wake up
- ugh has to cuddle you the whole morning because he loves you so freaking much
- Honestly the whole time he just looks at you with complete love in his eyes, after your night together, i think it would be really hard for him to go to sleep without you :(
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a/n : Thank you sm for your request lovely!! I’m so sorry that i have been inactive :( but i’m glad i’m back! Requests are open so make sure to request again if you’d like!! (also you can find on me on tiktok @macxdc where i post there too!) Love you guys
#ithinkabouttzu#kpop#txt#txt ships#tomorrow x together#beomgyu#soobin#taehyun#yeonjun#hueningkai#txt x reader#txt smut#txt fluff#txt headcanons#txt reacts#txt reaction#txt reactions#txt post#txt fanfic#txt imagines#txt oneshots#tomorrow x together reactions
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