#the series got racist after a while so I stopped reading

[deathsmallcaps]

I tried reading this urban fantasy called Jane Yellowrock or something like that, and she was basically a base-cougar shapeshifter. Like she could spend a lot of time as a cougar comfortably, and it matched her body mass pretty much. When she was little, she had a bobcat or something. Oh, and being shapeshifted gave her twilight-werewolf-kind-of-immortality, though that might’ve just been a her thing. She spent like a century in cat form.

Transforming into other animals was harder. When she needed more mass, I think she ate? And/or used a stone or log lying around and absorbed its mass. It’s been a while. When she turned smaller, she converted her extra mass into a stone and generally tried to get that stone back, because it was magically easier to reintegrate.

She had to keep a body part from the animal to shift into it I think. And she always shifted into that specific individual. And I think she was kind of getting swallowed by the part of her that spent a ton of time as a cat.

I was trying to think about the ole "what would shapeshifters do with their extra mass when they turn into something smaller" and I thought "maybe they just convert it all to energy" and then I thought "uh my guy that's a lot of fucking energy"

[halfmoth-halfman]

Leaving this blog.

With my mini-series finishing up soon, I've decided to leave this blog as well as my AO3 account once it’s finished. This is not a decision I've made lightly, but circumstances have left this a place where I no longer feel safe.

As of now, I won't be deactivating this blog and will be leaving my fics up for anyone who'd still like to read them. I can't say this decision won't change later, but right now I feel that I've put too much work into this blog to simple delete it.

Below the cut is an explanation of why I'm making this decision, and what has been happening on this blog since the end of last year. It's not required to read or anything to understand the gist of this post; it's simply for my own peace of mind knowing that I spoke up about it. There will be topics that are possibly triggering such as harassment, threats, and racism so please mind the warnings and tags.

The mini-series is queued to finish next week, but there will be no more fic polls or wip wednesdays. I'll still be on here to make sure the queue does its job, and maybe post some stuff from my old drafts as a last bit of fun.

I'll have dms tentatively open for the next two-ish weeks for those who'd like to follow my new account, however I will not be answering anything from empty blogs. After that, asks and dms will be turned off, and I won't be coming back to this blog very often, if at all.

I cannot say thank you enough to the wonderful readers I've had and the amazing people I've met. I don't think I would've ever continued writing without your support and friendship. There's nothing I can do to show my appreciation for all of you.

Maybe we'll see each other again. If not, I hope your inspiration is always flowing, and 2024 treats you kindly.

Mothie 💜

Again, TW: rape/death threats, violent racism, repeated harassment, and mental health.

Back in November, I started getting rude, mean-spirited anons. It wasn't anything I was too bothered with because it didn't happen often and, honestly, my inbox gets flooded for a week or so anytime I post about certain topics. I blocked, deleted, reported and moved on thinking whoever it was would get bored and leave.

However, what started as a few rude anons calling me a bitch or stupid turned into a lot of anons being vile and racist which only worsened over the next few months.

I spoke about it in this post (link) near the end of November. In that post, I mentioned that those were the nicer asks and that was not an exaggeration. I have gotten my fair share of shitty anons as seen here (link) when I had to take a break from my blog because of said anons, but I have never gotten the amount of vitriol that I saw in these asks.

When I turned anon off, I started getting even worse messages from empty blogs that would either be blocked or deactivate within a week. When I turned my askbox off, I started getting hateful DMs. When I turned DMs off, it jumped from Tumblr to my other social medias which I had to private, completely avoid, or outright delete.

I got messages attacking my writing, calling me slurs, threatening to find me and rape or kill me, sending me explicit porn and rape videos while insulting my sexuality, and going into gross detail about how much people I interacted with hated me or how I would never be as good as them. I tried to power through it, pretending everything was fine while I pulled away from this blog, from writing, from friends that I loved and talked to every day. Everything about this blog, the fandoms I enjoyed, the people I talked to, made me so anxious because of these constant messages.

I took several breaks while dealing with this in therapy, repeatedly trying to come back and get comfortable on this blog, but within a few days of coming back the messages would start up again, either here or on any of my social medias I tried to unprivate, and I couldn't deal with it.

Only in the last week or two has it started to slow down and stop on a few of my other socials, which is the only reason I even feel comfortable making this post. However, in regards to this blog and my feelings toward it, the damage is done.

I don't think I can ever truly convey how isolating this has been. So many of these messages were about how I've spoken about my struggles as a black woman in fandom, how much of a burden it puts on the people who interact with me, how inferior I am to them and that I am everything that's wrong with fandom.

I felt scared and anxious to talk to anyone about this, especially people mentioned in those messages, out of fear that this harassment would jump to them. There are friendships that I stepped away from that I will never get back because of that. There are friends that I've felt like I was betraying by never telling them about what was happening because I felt too ashamed about letting this get to me.

I constantly worried that making a post like this would feel like, "Oh, Mothie's whining and trauma-dumping into the void about fandom racism again", that those messages would be right and it would force people to feel like they had to support me. Or worse, that people would agree and it would only make things worse. I've wrestled with so much guilt trying to decide to make this post and figure out what to do to make me trust myself again.

Ultimately, I don't think I was wrong for talking about my issues in fandom, and I don't think anything I've said has warranted this kind of harassment. I don’t know the who’s or why’s behind of this, but I've come to terms with the fact that I'll never really know. Truthfully, I'm not sure it even matters at this point. In the end, I think moving on from this blog entirely would be the best thing for me right now.

But, man, does it fucking suck.

This was the blog where I felt comfortable enough to start writing again, to start posting my fics. It's the blog where I met so many friends, got the courage to join new communities, found new hobbies, new music, new things to enjoy in life. It feels silly to say about a blog, but this was a place where I felt like I was able to carve out a space for myself. I put so much work into making it my own, and now the only thing I feel about it is anxious.

Hate messages and threats and racism have always been a part of fandom, and the internet as a whole. I’ve known since I started participating in fandom spaces that it was going to and continue to happen. I've known that I had to have a tough skin, especially if I ever spoke up about problems I faced because no one was going to have my back if I didn't have my own. I thought I had learned how to deal with it, and how to make a safe space for myself. But this goes beyond that. I did not deserve this. No one deserves this.

In some ways, it feels like admitting defeat, like I'm weak or hypocritical for not being as strong as I pretended I was and leaving. In other ways, it feels freeing to start over, and I'm choosing to view look at this optimistically even if it bittersweet. I don't want to let this scare me away from writing or from speaking about things that are important to me. All I can do now is say I'm so incredibly sorry to those I've hurt by stepping away or keeping this secret, and make sure I'm able to at least leave this blog on as happy a note as I can have.

[danvy121994]

Fracture pt.1 (ghost x f!reader)

Author note: this is my new series, I’m working on it at the moment, so let me know if there’s anything anything wrong with it since English isn’t my first language. Reblogs and Like are appreciated, hope you enjoy the read!

Synopsis: YN is a profiler and her and her team are called to help task force 141 after they realise that the serial killer that they are searching for is connected to a terrorist group that the task force is working to bring down.

TW: (the terrorist group is basically a white supremacy organisation) themes of racism and anti-lgbtqai+ community

“ I feel like I’m gonna get shot at every minute like-“

” Be professional, at least while we work with other teams…Jesus Christ”

The constant back and forth between Sam and Mr. Grey fills the silence in the car as we are being escorted to an undisclosed location in the middle of the British countryside, a military base to be precise. In the past 3 months we have been going after a serial killer that has been targeting minorities all around London. We had an approximate profile of the unsub, or as the media calls them “troubled poet“, hate that name. The profile indicated that they were between 1,80cm to 1,95cm, pretty tall so possibly a man, at least in their thirties judging by the few by standards, even if they were under shock so the information might be slightly wrong, white, and that they had a fascination with humiliation as an example living the bodies often naked and in public spaces, littered with discriminating and racist messages carved on them and the most important factor of them all is that all the victims were non-white or part of the lgbtqai+ community.

We had a main suspect: Johnathan Wood, 37, white, 1,82cm, he expressed a huge hate online towards minorities off all kinds, has been sued two times because of aggressive behavior toward customers that fit the profile of the victims and the last straw for him, which is what we thought was the reason of the killings, was his girlfriend cheating on him with a black woman. We had him in our care, interrogating him, trying to make him admit to the eight murders when we got a call from our tech-team saying that they had found footage of him being at a bar during the time of one of the killings and once in a mall during the time of another, proving his alibi.

We had nothing. Another week had passed and two bodies were found, the killer was accelerating his rate, the media was relentless, questioning our abilities and giving even more notoriety to the killer, inflating his ego. Until one day, when me and my team were looking over evidence trying to find something that we could have missed when my boss got a call by a CIA agent, saying that us and her team were all looking for the same person and that we could help each other out, us with our minds, them with fire.

So this is how me and my team ended up in a military truck being escorted into a secret base, fucking mental. I was looking over the files ,that they gave us after the signed agreement that stated that we could not talk about anything or anyone that we saw, and read that apparently the symbol carved in each of the victims wasn’t just a sign, like we thought, but a simbol, of a cult like terrorist group. Apparently they didn’t know much, so that’s why we are here, to enter inside of these people's heads, dissect them and give them a profile to find them and exterminate them.

After god knows how long, we finally arrive at a stop, a fence with a gate in front of us. After the soldiers show the guards they’re IDs we enter inside the base . We stop in front of the first part of the compound, there’s a group of five people waiting for us outside; I recognise the CIA agent that called Mr. Grey, Agent Kate Laswell,she greets us all with a firm handshake “how was the car ride? No problems I hope?” She says looking at our captain “ all god, no problems” after some little small talk she finally introduces us to the task force we are going to work with, task force 1-4-1. “This is agent Robert Grey, the captain of the team, agent Samuel Dickinson, agent Linda Ross and lastly Doctor Y/N Y/S” we shake the hand of their captain, John price, which then introduces us to his team, sergeant Soap, sergneant Gaz and lieutenant Ghost; they all had aliases, safety reason I suppose, but the one that intrigued me the most was Ghost, that was wearing an actual skull mask.

The profiler part of my brain turned on and I immediately started questioning to myself, why the mask? If it was just to hide his identity, which the other didn’t do, then why was it so impractical, it must be heavy, right? Insecurities maybe? Like he doesn’t feel scary enough? But I mean… he’s a fucking unit…so maybe it's for a disfigured face? So still insecurities but different reasons, or maybe its a sign, a mark of recognition, who knows. Now, what I didn’t notice is the fact that since this thought started I never took my eyes of off him and I didn’t notice until he was right in front of me saying “you got a fucking problem?”, he didn’t seem angry but early calm, “c'mon mate, be a little bit more friendly, will ya?” Said the man that identifies as Soap. Ghost just grunted going back to where he was before, I think I heard him muttering under his breath “fuckin hell..”. Weird dude, but the others seemed alright I guess.

As we enter inside the buildings to go put our luggage in our private spaces, I see Sam, my best friend coming towards me and leaning against my ear to tell me something, which is never a good sign “can I be honest with you right now?” “…yeah?” “Smash.” I can’t believe him sometimes. “Honey…what?” I say giggling with him “oh Y/N, they could choke me right now and would thank them" "you are unbelievable”.

After giggling the entire time during the tiny tour of the base and getting death stares by Mr. Grey we finally arrive at our respective rooms. After unpacking and taking a shower I go straight to bed, thinking about the killings, the profile of the killer and assimilating the scarce informations about the cult that we have. I go to sleep with these thoughts plaguing my mind, hopeful to return to my somewhat normal life as soon as possible.

Author note pt.2: @doedearlizz you told me you would like to read it so I tagged you in the first chapter, let me know what you think! And sorry if I tagged you but I don’t know how to respond to comments yet.

[nightlilly0110]

This is literally a villain death tally for BNHA. Spoilers, obviously. I…hate this. I absolutely hate this. I knew some of them would die and I know that character deaths don’t necessarily have to have meaning, they could just be casualties, but the way this played out, it just seems to fit into a neat little box of “the bad guys are not allowed to have a happy ending.” Which. Goes against the entirety of the premise of Deku’s reasoning to become a hero of “I want to save people.” The only named character I can think of that he saved was Eri (not counting rescuing Bakugou from the League, Iida from Stain because they’re not civilians, feel free to tell me any others I missed) and she fits the stereotypical Perfect Victim trope. She’s just a child. Anything bad she did (rewinding people out of existence) it was done by accident, because she didn’t know any better. She has the chance to be rehabilitated into society without any of the bitterness that the League carry with them.

I really don’t like that there’s a subsection of this fandom that’s like “well they got what they asked for.” And yeah. Don’t use whatever issues you have going on as an excuse for your shitty behaviour (read: don’t be like “well the villains are abused so they have a right to kill people”) but also maybe think before saying “I think it’s good that the guy who got abused and manipulated as a child and groomed into being a mass murderer died. I think killing the murderer instead of addressing the societal problems that made him that way will fixeverything.” Your “they got what they asked for” also falls a little tone deaf with “what they asked for” boils down to “don’t be treated like shit” and the narrative of the manga has always been “we should save people.”

I also think these deaths are in bad faith when you have the hero side critically injured every five seconds and coming back from that (with the exception of Midnight, don’t get me started with that I hate that she was the only named casualty of that arc other than the racist guy) with Bakugou literally having his heart stop especially, and then with the villains it’s like “well can’t do anything about that, bye loser.”

So yeah, here’s what we know about the villains with the last three-ish chapters pending and a bit as to why I’m more than pissed about how this turned out, keeping the above sentiments in mind.

TLDR They died in vain. They accomplished nothing, no one bothered to listen to their message, and they died.

Magne - died protecting her friends from Overhaul. Body not recovered because it was cut in half (top half exploded) and only her legs remained. Might be reading into this a bit too much but a little weird that the trans woman was the first death we had in the series. Also weird that her motivations to join the League was presumably her horrible treatment for being trans but we don’t get that context until the circumstances surrounding her death. We know very little about her backstory.

Twice - Literally stabbed in the back while trying to flee. Body left in an active war zone, assumably recovered by the Hero Commission/whoever is responsible for cleanup. Mild closure in the fact that he did find out that he was the real copy of himself but not really because we still have people, years after this death, saying that it was “justified” and “a necessity” because Twice was resisting arrest trying to flee while being a non-combatant. I cannot stress enough that he was unarmed while he was running, ran past Hawks and did not attack him, and the “help” Hawks was offering him was throwing him in jail and never letting him see the light of day again. I don’t want to talk about this anymore.

Toga - Sacrificed herself to save Uraraka (semi-implied she might have been in love with Uraraka). Only Uraraka knows of her sacrifice. Has to endure in death people saying that she was nothing more than a villain, same as in life. Nothing changes for her - she’s still considered creepy, a freak, a villain. Body assumably left in an active war zone recovered by Hero Commission.

Mr. Compress - Arrested and in prison. We still don’t know why he joined the League. (Thank you @themattress for correcting me in this, glad he’s not dead but damn.)

Kurogiri - MIA. Assumed dead. Not mentioned in the final act and without closure as to his identity, only that he is still loyal to the League.

Spinner - Hospitalized. Says he’s going to preach about Shigaraki’s message. Honestly, it’s a good sentiment, but he’s clearly going out into a society that is a) hostile to people with mutant quirks like him b) hostile to villains c) canonically resistant to change and resistant to anything related to Shigaraki if those TV interviews were anything to go by. It’s a lost cause.

Dabi - Alive, but barely. He’s restrained and being kept alive by medics equipment but it’s clear his life will be short and in pain. I saw someone say that it’s “ironic justice” because he always wanted Endeavour to watch him and now he has no choice in that his family is going to be (in Dabi’s words) “gawking at him like a tourist attraction.” He’s miserable, he’s going to die, and he doesn’t even get the freedom that he wanted while his abuser walks off without punishment and still adored by society. This isn’t justice, it’s cruel, especially when we know it’s possible for him to be properly put back together (since that’s what happened after he “died” as a teenager).

Shigaraki - Dead, turned to dust after being possessed and used as a puppet by AFO after being his puppet and manipulated by him for years. Was not saved despite the fact that the entirety of the last arc was propped up by the sentiment that Deku was trying to reach out to him and save him, specifically Tenko, the spirit of a little boy who wanted to be a hero. I don’t believe in redemption through death. People calling this a redemption arc is an insult. It wasn’t a sacrifice - he was killed. He had no agency in his life and didn’t even get to choose his own death. Deku tells him to his face that his death is his own fault (what happened to saving him?!). He died hoping his friends would be able to carry on and something about hero society changed. His friends are dead, dying, or have lost everything, and society stayed exactly the same as it was at the start of all of this.

[ranticore]

Out of curiosity, have you ever read the Temeraire books by Naomi Novik? If you haven't I could say it's an alternate historical series with dragons set during the Napoleonic war, but that would be a lie. Really it's a slice of life of the most polite, oblivious, 'for king and country' English man with the wildest life story as he's radicalised by the giant housecat dragon companion he didn't really want at first but quickly comes to wholly love into dragon suffrage, and Napoleon is there.

yes and i didn't like them

fhksjdg no i'm sorry anon i know you're recommending them in earnest and didn't ask for a rant but seriously i was very disappointed by Temeraire as each successive book felt like a very boring, padded-out tour of worldbuilding which was not particularly relevant to the story or the ongoing war and eventually i gave up when they all got sent to yet another country on yet another contrivance.

my favourites were the first book and the fifth, but especially the fifth as it was set in britain (i.e a country we already knew and also had prior emotional ties to, so didn't need the agonisingly long-winded 'and here's how we do dragons in THIS country' worldbuilding that every new country got), during wartime, with Temeraire's POV for the first time, and dealt specifically with the dragons as their own fighting force absent of aviators. it was interesting and engaging. and Will during his Just Committed Treason phase was the most interesting version of him to me as a lover of character-driven stories (why stoop to giving him sitcom amnesia later... cmon now...). i've reread the fifth book a bunch of times because i like it a lot, and i haven't touched any of the other books since their first read.

reading these books all for the shreds of interesting characterisation in between the endless eternal road trip was too annoying after a while and I had to stop when they got to russia. but i also find that in most stories/sequels/etc i don't like every new book to be set in a new place, i start to wonder what it is about the original place (britain i guess) that was so inhospitable to a good sequel story. like damn i just got here let me enjoy it a little before we go somewhere else

and i can't really speak with any authority on this & haven't done much research but some of the books (particularly the fourth, and the one set in south america whatever that one was) struck me as playing into racist tropes and stereotypes.... i really had to force myself to get through the "kidnapped by a violent African tribe" storyline tbh and i'm not sure i should have. but any time the series comes up no one ever mentions this so idk

[teecupangel]

Tee, I'm re-reading Esama's glorious Sailing the Stars again and, a few chapters in, I thought- if the Desmond who could Hear Us got caught up in this scenario, many of us would be screaming at each other. Some in panic, some in excitement, and a few/one of us are starting to sound slightly unhinged from how long we've been laughing (read: cackling) for and how it's been growing so loud that's it's more like mad howling and it starts to drown out everyone else through sheer Awkwardness and how Unnerving it is.

Meanwhile, Desmond is just standing, awkwardly, before either a couple of Jedi or the entire Council- who are also slightly frozen in awkwardness because the Force is being as unhinged as the Cacklers but less Awkward and Unnerving and more, laughing/howling at a joke that it's decidedly Not Explaining. To Anyone.

And then the cackling suddenly stops and someone says, with a slasher grin you could almost hear: "Hey Des baby, can you go ruin the entire fucking careers of some Siths for us? Pretty please?"

Not sure which time Desmond would come out of, but I find it hilarious if Desmond manages to appear during a time when Qui Gon Jinn and Dooku were having problems later in their relationship but before he takes Vosa as his padawan and now Jinn has to deal with not only the knowledge that His Master Fucks but also has, and does occasionally, Fuck with Sifo Dyas and Madame Nu when the time and preference arises. The mental damage alone has some of Us laughing our asses off. Not to mention the implicated existence of Actual Gods/Patrons and the multiverse.

Sailing the Stars by esama (If you love Star Wars and Desmond Miles, go give it a read if you haven’t… or reread it if you already have XD)

This… isn’t exactly a fanfic of a fanfic because this can be summarized more as “Desmond gets awaken in the Star Wars timeline during maybe the Tales of the Jedi series? and he can still hear us”. I don’t think you need to have read Sailing the Stars to get this little snippet, at the very least.

.

.

Desmond has no idea what to do.

By this point, the voices in his head, the capricious ‘watchers’, would be giving him directions or suggestions but they were all still freaking out.

Because, according to what he could actually understand from their freak outs, he was not supposed to be here and this was a ‘crossover’ and “OH MY GOD” and the occasional “I don’t know enough about this!” sprinkled here and there would imply that he wasn’t in his ‘universe’ anymore.

Even the first who talked to him had fallen silent after a dreadful “fuck, this isn’t my fandom” and that was definitely not a good sign.

The other voices he could recognize were too busy freaking out and they were arguing where Desmond.

To be more exact: they were questioning if Desmond was in ‘canon’ or in ‘legends’… whatever that meant.

There a low chant of “Desmond for Darth Revan!” that was being shushed once in a while

And here he was… just… standing.

This council of what they call Jedis was staring at him with furrowed brows, something about how the Force was surrounding him and was… very ‘chaotic’?

But not in a bad way?

Like the kind of giddy chaos that children would get into?

At least, that was what that short green… alien?

Is it racist for Desmond to call him an alien?

Aren’t they all aliens anyway?

Isn’t Desmond an alien too because, apparently, he’s different from the other humans that the Jedis have on record.

Being both more primitive and also too ‘different’ to be considered one of the older ones, whatever that means.

Desmond would have assumed that it was because of his Isu-human gene ratio but the more logical reason would probably be because he was…

Well…

Not from this universe.

Not that he was going to say that.

Even if he did, they would probably just assume he meant not from this specific ‘galaxy’ or whatever.

Desmond would take any kind of distraction at this point and he finally got his wish when the door slid open and two more men entered the room.

The voices were silent for a moment before some of them began to shout, “Oh my god. Is that Count Dooku?! He’s soooo young.”

“Oooohhh, Qui Gon Jinn! Look at him! He’s so baby!”

Desmond’s eyes met the older man that he was certain was supposed to be Count Dooku and the voices hushed for a moment before someone whispered.

“300K, slowburn, corruption arc, hurt and comfort, BAMF Desmond Miles, Good Count Dooku.”

Desmond wanted to sigh.

Maybe he should just run away at this point?

[chibishortdeath]

Genuinely debating just deleting all my accounts and starting new doing something else because I am miserable. The Castlevania fandom is the worst fandom I’ve ever been in my whole life.

Vent under a cut. Read the warnings in the tags.

First time I started being a fan of it I was a young teenager. At the time I was heavily suicidal, playing SotN is what got me distracted enough not to do it. Started out with Instagram because that’s where I heard most people went to start an art portfolio and do commissions.

First few months of being a fan of the series the hashtags were frozen due to the election happening, so I, a suicidal teenager, was immediately subjected to graphic gore porn of my favorite character (Simon) who I turned to looking up for comfort that was stuck there until the hashtags were unfrozen. For months I could not turn to my source of comfort without seeing that, and turned to dissociating even worse than I already was instead. That was the first red flag.

After this I had some sincerely good experiences with some live streams. Genuinely nice people doing cosplay and gaming. But there was one person I watched who did not end up as good as everyone else. This person followed me, liked my outfit stories, talked to me in chat. I was still in high school. Not gonna go into details for anonymity’s sake, but long story short I got groomed. And at around the same time I had made another “friend” in the fandom who turned out to be homophobic and would take out all their problems on me, a teen, while they were a grown ass adult. Instagram continued to get worse. Found out someone I was close to made some racist rant behind my back. Found out another was a MAP. So on and so forth. And the worst part is how many people I knew who were close friends with these people, people who would not have believed me if I’d told them. Especially since some of them were more popular than I.

So I gave up on Insta, stopped posting, stopped talking, and I got a discord. Which started out fine! Found a small server of nice fans, made good friendships I still have. I had Reddit for a short amount of time and found out how dogshit it is when a smaller server I thought was cool started bullying a small artist for drawing gay fanart. I use it purely for game dev and vocaloid help questions now. Eventually I got the courage to come here, to tumblr. Months into that move I run into CP. And then several TERFs. And then a necrophile in the main tags. And then misogyny. And then racism. And then defending CP. Then a surge of transphobia. And then I get shit for getting the courage to call out CP. I try to go to YouTube to find content and escape— run into out in the open slurs and people bluntly claiming albino people aren’t human in comment sections about Juste. I try to watch videos and see the art of my groomer being used everywhere. I am constantly reminded that I am outnumbered.

I go back to discord. The main mod of it ends up interacting creepily with minors and is transphobic to my friends. Whole server blows up. Large amount of people take the mod’s side and blacklist us from a large amount of servers, gossiping about everyone involved to completely unrelated people while not telling the whole truth, all while being horrifically transphobic about a friend. Someone else in the server turns out to be an abusive piece of shit. I don’t even try making a twitter because it’s a hellhole anyway, and someone I’d know about from most other platforms I’d been on harassed a friend of mine on there. Not to mention the transphobic roleplay account that’s still around somehow.

I swear I have to block a new person in this fandom every. single. day. I swear some bullshit happens in this fandom every. single. day.

I want to draw a vampire hunter and not be absolutely thoroughly terrified that I am going to run into more vile shit and dangerous situations if I talk to anyone. I want to draw a vampire hunter and not be deeply afraid of meeting new people in this fandom. I want to draw a vampire hunter and not have my paranoia confirmed every day. I want to draw a vampire hunter and find comfort in doing so again.

Is that too much to ask.

[sonicjustbecause]

How I got fooled twice by purists of Japan, plus what was like being a purist (this time of America, but is also true for Japan too.

Episode 1 - Fooled by purist of Japan

I started to get seriously interested in anime stuffs when i was 11 years old. I grew up watching both Japanese, American and Italian cartoons (yes, back then Italy did cartoons too. Aosth and Sonic SatAM are Italian/American. Topo Gigio is Italian/Japanese), but I shifted comletely toward Japanese cartoon when I was 11 years old.

Some Sonic Generations vibes, uh?

Unfortunately, I had to wait to be 15 before getting more serious into anime.

I used to read Kappa Magazine (I discovered the serie 'Genzo', recommended as itself, not from KM). There was all I wanted, comics and curious fact about anime, including those I saw in Italy. And once there was one that caught my attention. It was about the last episode of Sailor Moon (episode 200, I think). It describled the censorship and the localization. There were also few pictures, but nothing to compare by my own, unfortunately.

Sorry for the censorship. but I don't want this blog getting the same treatment of my main blog, where I can't even have an avatar.

I stopped to read Kappa magazine when it shifted to 18+.

Years later I could finally watch the episode 200 of Sailor Moon the way it was. Yes it was censored. But a good part about localization was a lie.

Fooled once!

Part 2 - Choose to be a purist of America.

As purist of Japan, I must say I was tame. I was not like the one who call all American enternaiment estimators 'bunch of idots who lack of sense of aestetic and good product'. There are far worse purists around.

But as purist of America I was fierce, even obnoxious. At the point of bordering the troll territory (I trolled with other three purists once and I got banned). All what was outside the circle was shit. I also fought against miself to purge myself from all japanese influcences i had, especially in drawing style

It was fun at first, but after a while it becomes stale, the standards get impossible. This is what a purist feel. At certain point you start to hate your own fandom, I moved from being a purist of Japan to be a purist of America because of this.

Then I chose to be neither. Just liking what I like, regardless. Fuck elithism.

A panel of my original manga. I already stopped to be a purist for a while when I drew this. Usually I don't share my drawing, they're not worth. Do you recognize the place?

The story takes place in 2001, so Key Arena is.

3 - Fooled by a purist of Japan for the second time.

About 2 years ago I came back to Sonic fandom for the third time. I started to follow a blog of a Sonic fan on Tumblr, I still hadn't open Sonic Just Beacuse blog.

This person seemed an expert. She wasn't so extreme at the start. She mostly talked about Sonic's personality, about what she enjoyed, mostly light hearted. She showed her collection of Sonic merchandising, including Archies and IDW comics.

But one day everything changed. 'This blog is Japanese only'. 'SoA Evil!' 'Ian Flynn evil' 'Takashi Iizuka the only god' 'Don't call me SoJ purist, U RaSSists!' (of course not near this level of stupidity, just to show the kind of mentality. The racist one was truly explictily said, though).

Ian Flynn according to SoJ purist

The blog had became a collection of boring repeated posts against Sonic Prime (five times a day, for two week straight), suicidal though because of a umpteenth disappointing Sonic product (maybe even written by her dear Iizuka - it was getting messy), against Ian Flynn (this was damaging, because of her I learned to mistrust Ian Flynn abilities as a writer for a while, she share all the bad examples. I had to go through both his good and bad stories to make my opinion and clean the idea of him I had. This was the worst disservice).

Also, she showed the differences between some lines in Japanese VS English (it was mostly the wording, like Cheers/Thanx/Thank you), completely removed from their context, deliberately missing part, it was close to a scam. And for the racism part, she (like many SoJ purists) describled the SoA members like the tyrannic black arms and the SoJ members like many little confused amnesiac Shadows who can't still properly defend theriselves and are forced to succumb against the tirannical black arms). Half way between paternalism and conspiracy theorist.

I can't picture, for example, Iizuka like that. I'm not a fan of the guy and his views but one thing I learned he certainly is not somebody you can bury or trample. Also SoJ and SoA work togheter for two decades or more nowadays, way before Iizuka. They're not enemies.

Like it or not, they are not enemies!

But if you like, this is also named Takashi Iizuka, and this one will break your bones.

How this ended? This person had a discussion with another Sonic Fan on YT. One who watch Sonic as a whole, Japanese, English, IDW comics, Sonic Prime, everything. One who definitely is not a purist. And contraddicted her vision, using Japanese material no less. At the start she answered to him, the discussion seemed fine, no insults, no trolling, it was mostly like two adults talking about two different point of view. But in the end she first erased all the discussion she had with him. Later she denied the possibility to comment to her post. And finally, after few days, she erased all her blogs, accounts, everything, retreating. Is 6 months and she can't bee seen nowhere. Not really trustworthy, but what I can't truly forgive her is making me hate Ian Flynn when I still had no cleal idea about his writings.

Fooled twice!

No love no hate, Ian has his high and lows, certainly I prefer him other writers, boyth American and Japanese. The one I like most was Shiro Maekawa, but Ian gives lots of satisfactions too. There are downsides but is worth.

A dream team but the picture is not mine.

Conclusions:

Do I still follow SoJ purists? Actually some people i follow are purists. I avoid those that focus only on analysis, but there are a couple of people I follow because they do really cute and enjoyable creative stuffs and they care for the quality. But I don't trust their opinion anymore. I take them as what they are. Opinions.

[mdhwrites]

Which character stands out the most for you in Star Rail?

Meet Guinevere, though known nowadays as Guinaifen or Little Gui after her planet blew up and she moved to the Xianshou Loufu to be a street performer.

She is actually one of the characters I DON'T have leveled right now, though she's high on my priority list. This also means that she's caught my attention despite the fact that I'm not mechanically using her and she's also a four star so she's not one of the characters you have to go hard on trying to get ahold of. In fact, come 2.0, one of the events for that patch will include the chance to get a free Guinaifen (if you pick her over the other options available.)

No, this actually just comes down to the fact that she is a very VIVID character, even without reading her character story. In the game, she has had two major appearances. One was when she first came out and was given a small introduction in the Pokemon parody event where she introduced herself as an outworlder living on the kiiiind of racist Xianshou Loufu as a street performer which would not be an easy job to put it mildly. Little Gui is her online handle/her performance handle and her performances include, not kidding or over exaggerating: Slurping Noodles While Doing a Handstand Brushing Teeth While Whistling Smashing Boulder on Chest (She even has a special equip that literally shows and talks about her doing this with her bestie) Blocking Pike with Neck Swallowing Sword to Stomach CATCHING BULLET WITH HANDS

AGAIN. NOT A JOKE. AND THAT'S NOT EVEN A FULL LIST.

And mind you, with this being a space fantasy, live streaming exists and yes, Little Gui is a streamer. What sort?

That sort. Also, meet Sushang, her best friend. They are maybe the only two female friends in this game, along with their HuoHuo, who I do not go "AND THEY WERE ROOMMATES!" But yeah, she's a bit loud, she's trying really hard and she's just got so much energy.

But... This is where we get into why she is actually interesting. See, when this cutscene happens... She's in a slump. See, the majority of her content effectively revolves around her being an outsider of the Loufu, where she lives now. Her first big hit series was actually doing food reviews and detailing the best dining spots and delicacies on the ship. She's not been doing those lately though. In fact, she hasn't been streaming as much either.

Also, if you question her as she wants to go to the haunted garden, she will actually drop the act. Her VA, English one since I don't play with Japanese voices, is actually INCREDIBLE here because you can genuinely tell the shift in just her voice to be a little deeper and little more relaxed as she stops trying to hype things up. Little Gui is NOT Guinaifen after all. It's just her stage name.

Mind you, she also isn't entirely a liar either. She is passionate and excitable, she has the right energy to do this sort of work, but the game doesn't try to pretend that she's cranked up to eleven at all times. She's just a human being trying to make it in this world. I haven't seen many streamer characters admittedly but I genuinely love how real she feels as a performer like this while staying a person.

Part of her standing out admittedly is helped by being a part of literally the best content on the planet she's a part of. Fyxestroll Garden is a great expansion with a nice story that eventually starts mixing the science and fantasy sides really well as Guinaifen helps lead the Ghost Hunting Squad! She deals with the social media side of it to keep rumors down and keep the rest of the Loufu from understanding quite what is going on while her, Sushang and the little girl with paw eyes from the trailer, Huohuo.

The trio are all helpless scaredy cats. Little Gui is the bravest of all of them and as you saw in the video, that isn't saying much. But through the events, she had to confront her old fans, show us how she works and be just a lot of fun. It also makes sure that you always remember her as part of this trio, giving her people to bounce off of and add to her cheer and charm.

And that's despite the fact that her PLANET IS FUCKING GONE. Yeah, the biggest antagonistic force of the universe literally destroyed her home planet. She can never go back and it's REALLY easy not to properly realize this because it comes up in a TEXT MESSAGE and from her character stories which you only get if you level her up. It's admittedly MUCH more explicit in her character story page, I'm reading them now on the wiki, but you only get those parts of her if you actually use her. Here is her singing of it as a part of a folk song, which is another talent she uses for her performances. I was truly from that outworld court named Camelot, and has my siblings altogether a dozen lot. Our days were peaceful and joyous to boot, but who'd thought that the Ruin Author made trouble all afoot. Parents fought back the invaders and arms they took, yet the Legion broke the nation's back. Powerless Dad stood. Elder brother led us siblings wandering without a root, to an IPC mining planet covered in dark soot. Eke out a living with meager scraps we undertook, homeless and meal-less often was our wont. My brother a timid man, doing back-breaking work. To piracy he was forced, interstellar raider forsook. Commercial shipments he only waylaid, homes he never burnt. They sing he was a hero among bandits, distributing his loot. He led hundreds of poor souls in a desperate force, terrible to look. Fallen wayward in the eyes of the law, just so we get enough food.

...Have Little Gui juggling to rinse that out a bit.

(This is one of her two idles and I love it.)

But the fact that this backstory isn't the core of her character, it is instead how she has decided to rise from the ashes that's important, is part of what I love about her character. If you just want to treat her as a fun performer, that's okay! If you want to see her as another pair of lesbians with ShangShang, the game allows for that too. But there's just... A lot. A lot of potential while still have a fleshed out and realized person behind it. It's part of why of all the characters I'd love to next see get a 5 star upgraded version (we've gotten one already), I'd LOVE to see Princess/Queen Guinaifen someday who manages to bring her old home and new together into something even better.

If she never does though, I won't complain either. Not when I'm already a fan of Little Gui and SMASHED that subscribe button.

And just to finish this off: She is currently considered the third best Damage over Time, DoT, character in the game (there are six if we count Black Swan who comes out in five days) and the best of the four star DoT characters. Her kit is actually REALLY strong, even mimicking one of the best parts of a 5 star DoT character in retriggering a certain type of DoT. Not only that but she debuffs the enemy to make them take more damage from anything the more times they get burned, her style of DoT. She also has just an absolutely amazing ult animation even though I can't tell you why these small dogs, called Ditings, are related with her so much.

(I wasn't able to find gifs for this that would actually work for either this or her idle, hence the videos.)

So yeah, if she's caught your eye too, she's actually really good and super viable as a sub-DPS/debuffer. It's something I will always keep pointing out because the 4 stars in this game are genuinely strong and Guinaifen is no different. I just unfortunately took a while to realize and have also been using so many resources on upgrading other characters.

But yeah, I could keep going but she herself would tell me to leave the audience wanting more. So leave another ask if you want to hear what I think you could do non-canonically with her or the like, or just to hear thoughts on other characters like the rest of the ghost hunting squad themselves. For now, she still stands tall as one of my favorites in the game and honestly, probably my favorite character from her planet, even if it isn't her original home. The Loufu desperately needed a laugh though and this firecracker is just what the doctor ordered.

======+++++======

As a note: I don't know if I'd say she's my favorite character. She's up there and almost certainly is top three or five but she's got some stiff competition. She is probably the person I want to see developed further the most though which is why I chose to talk about her for this blog.

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

A Twitter you can follow too

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.

[sshbpodcast]

Character Spotlight: Data

By Ames

It’s the man you’ve all been waiting for! He’s one of the most popular Star Trek characters of all time. He teaches us humanity and friendship and science. He’s the outsider character of his series and uses his unique perspective to open our eyes to the world and the people around us. And he loves cats! No wait, we already spotlighted Commander Spock. Just kidding. I’m, of course, talking about Lieutenant Commander Data!

It’s hard for us at A Star to Steer Her By to narrow down the best moments from our android friend because he gets to do so damn much between The Next Generation series and movies, and he’s also my personal favorite character on the show, but we’ve somehow managed it! So use your positronic brains to read on below and listen to our discussion on this week’s podcast episode (tricorder scan to 1:03:10) to see where we drew the line. Saddle up!

[Images © CBS/Paramount]

Best moments

You are fully functional, aren't you? As we mentioned in our Picard spotlight, “The Naked Now” has the strangest mix of great and terrible character moments, and I couldn’t not include the incredibly hot Data/Yar romance that it created. It’s just nice to know that Data is programmed in multiple techniques, a broad variety of pleasuring. And later, the physical acting we get from Brent Spiner in that lean and fall was great!

My thoughts are not for Tasha, but for myself While the rest of “Skin of Evil” and the anticlimactic death of Tasha Yar aren’t really our cups of tea, we do have to admit that the tribute scene at the end is moving and well done. And that final moment when Data and Picard talk (even so briefly!) about the point of the ceremony and how empty it will feel without Yar… I’m tearing up just thinking about it.

Tied game, we’re going into overtime I also have to give Data credit for all the times he uses his big android brain to solve a problem, an advantage he has over pretty much any other character. For example, when he busts Sirna Kolrami up in a game of strategema by forcing a constant stalemate in “Peak Performance,” it feels like a win because he thinks outside the fluorescent holographic box!

One android with a single weapon Every so often, we also see Data in command, questioning his leadership skills or having difficulty connecting with his peers (more on that one in a second). But when he’s the only one who can survive the radiation on Tau Cygna, he takes charge to get its colonists to leave by blowing up their aqueduct in “The Ensigns of Command.” Try withstanding Sheliak attacks now, losers!

Thank you for my life While some of us on SSHB didn’t care much for Lal, you’ve got to admit that all of Data’s actions in “The Offspring” are on point. From questioning why he shouldn’t be allowed to create life, to letting his offspring self-identify, to keeping her out of the hands of Starfleet, it’s all good parenting. But what takes the cake is the heart-wrenching farewell scene after he tries to save her.

He who dies with the most toys… is kind of an asshole While we don’t get the cathartic release of Data phasering the hell out of Kivas Fajo in “The Most Toys,” we do get to take some pride that he is capable of overcoming his ethical subprogram to do away with someone who really has no right existing. When Geordi says that he detects a phaser firing in the transporter beam, you know he just needed a fraction of a second more and Fajo would be toast.

Your request for reassignment has been noted and denied Like in the afore-mentioned “The Ensigns of Command,” Data has some trouble adjusting to command when he takes control of the Sutherland in “Redemption, Part II.” It sure doesn’t help that his racist XO Hobson undermines his every decision, but that doesn’t stop Data from single-handedly foiling the Romulans’ plan and telling Hobson exactly where to shove it.

I've never been to a better funeral When it’s apparent that Geordi has been killed in a transporter accident in “The Next Phase,” Data grapples with the loss of his best friend in a very touching way, similar to how he mourned Yar as we mentioned above. And before he solves the puzzle of the episode and saves them, Data throws the best funeral I’ve ever seen for La Forge and Ro! People are just dying for a funeral like that!

The most human decision you’ve ever made We gave Picard a lot of accolades when we discussed his standing up for Data’s right to live in “The Measure of a Man.” Data gets a similar moment in “The Quality of Life” when he refuses to trade the lives of the Exocomps for those of other beings. It’s a nice episode of paying it forward, and we also get to see the scientific method on high display when he and Crusher deduce the little guys are alive.

Radioactive. What does that mean? Speaking of the scientific method! Even with his memories wiped in “Thine Own Self,” Data is able to piece together why the radioactive materials are hurting everyone in the village on Barkon IV. And with that clear slate of mind, we see that in all forms, Data is curious, caring, and willing to help people who are in need, even if it gets him speared in the back a little bit.

Felis catus is your taxonomic nomenclature… We’d be remiss if we didn’t bring up Data’s beautiful relationship with his cat, Spot. As everyone on SSHB is a devoted cat person, we found it a treat whenever we saw Data interacting with Spot, testing which food she’d like, and writing cat poetry. The best might be when Data reunites with her after the Enterprise crashes in Generations AND he has the emotions to appreciate it!

Resistance is fully functional We noticed in our TOS spotlights that it’s in the movies that most characters get to shine, and First Contact is that chance for Data. His scenes getting tempted by the Borg Queen are dead sexy and you can’t tell me otherwise. And his betrayal of the Collective by purposely sparing the Phoenix and then fumigating engineering to kill Borg Queen are the climax we all needed. I’ll be in my bunk.

—

Worst moments

I am stuck Especially in the early seasons, Data got used to make bad fish-out-of-water jokes. It was a silly habit the show had of depicting him as naïve about human culture even though he’s lived in it for years (and has the memories of the Omicron Thetans when the show remembers). Seeing him get stuck in a fingertrap in “The Last Outpost” is just such an example of dumb sight gags to make him look goofy.

I can’t use contractions, sir This is just a pet peeve of mine that could have been fixed so damned easily. Listen, writers, if you’re going to make it a plot point that Data can’t use contractions in episodes like “Datalore” and “Future Imperfect,” then be consistent. Run an apostrophe search in Microsoft Word and replace them, because in episodes like “We’ll Always Have Paris” when he states “It’s me,” it pisses me off.

Take my Worf, please! Don’t worry, we’re not done pointing out all the bad jokes told at Data’s expense that we see throughout the series (oh god, and just wait for the movies). And it’s a shame because Brent Spiner himself has such great comic timing and delivery, but when you make his jokes so obviously idiotic like in Ames’s least favorite TNG episode “The Outrageous Okona,” we cringe so hard.

Is anybody out there? We mentioned this one in our prime directive chat before, since Data just tramples all over it, but “Pen Pals” has some good discussion on the pros and cons of the situation. But that doesn’t excuse Data for making the decision on his own to get involved with the Dramen people, much less to bring Sarjenka onto the bridge (for crying out loud), necessitating a Pulaski mind wipe!

One seven three four six seven three two one four… There are a handful of times in TNG that we find it a terrible idea that Data (or any single being) has as much power as they have, considering how often they get possessed by things or duplicated by other things. So when Data single-handedly takes over the Enterprise in “Brothers,” disrupting the mission to save Willie Potts’s life, because Soong hacked into his brain, we raise eyebrows.

Jilting by association While I could joke that Data ever introducing Miles and Keiko was a mistake (and I have!), there’re still a lot of bad moves he makes regarding their relationship in “Data’s Day.” When he gets stuck in the middle of their nuptial stress, he’s so clueless how to handle the situation and keeps making things worse when, frankly, Miles and Keiko should have kept things to themselves.

Who programmed the book of love? Moving on to even more lousy relationships: Data’s brief, unnecessary romance with Jenna Desora in “In Theory” proves to be just another example of too many “Data doesn’t understand humanity” jokes that we hoped the show was over by this point. But alas, he’s written himself a love program to basically treat the situation like a sitcom and we were done with it.

Point that thing somewhere else From the moment Data stands directly in front of Bashir’s mystery device in “Birthright, Part I,” it’s obvious he’s going to get zapped by it. Really, Data? You couldn’t have stood literally anywhere else than in front of what is clearly an energy beam? And the rest of the episode, we’re stuck going on a dream adventure, and you already know how I feel about those!

Stop it, stop it, stop it Like in “Brothers,” it just seems weird to have Data getting controlled by his kooky family members when it happens again in “Descent.” This time, Lore has given Data the emotions he thought he wanted all along, but it turns out the very first emotion Data embraces is sheer rage. When he takes pleasure in killing Borg, you know maybe emotions just aren’t for him, and yet…

Open sesame! …when we get to Generations, Data has a fully fledged emotion chip that really needed more testing first. We’re subjected to just way too many of those dopey Data jokes, from Open Sesame to Mr. Tricorder to cackling at a 7-year-old joke. And to add kidnapping and torture to insult, it’s when Data is having a particularly bad reaction that Geordi nearly gets killed by Klingons!

I have been designed to serve as a floatation device We’re not done yet with the Data humor (and just way too much humor in general that doesn’t land) in Insurrection. While this film really gives Jean-Luc his time to shine, the rest of the cast are treated like afterthoughts, including Data who seems to be around for punchlines, like remarking about how the women’s boobs feel firmer, and serving as a life preserver.

Going out in a blaze of failure Finally, I need to criticize Nemesis yet again, as I am wont to do. It’s just… Data’s sacrifice for Picard is so unearned. I’d debate that it’s worse than the Kirk sacrifice in Generations that we put in that Worst Moments list too. Most of it is probably the abysmal script. I’ll sum it up by saying this: if you can’t make me care that my favorite character died, you’ve done something wrong.

—

Now that we’ve found Data’s off switch, we can wrap things up this week. Don’t worry, we’ve got tons more character spotlights for the coming weeks, so keep your sensors here, journey over to SoundCloud or wherever you get your podcasts to follow along with our Enterprise watchthough, break the Prime Directive with us on Facebook and Twitter, and delete that comedian holoprogram from the computer!

[lqfiles]

guess who is back 😍😍😍

I JUST FINISHED THE SERIES I KNOW IM LATE BUT OH MY GOD THAT WAS SO GOOD I ALMOST SHOF MYSELF (positive) LIKE SWINGING MY FEET GIGGLINGGG LIKEEE..

like coming back after a while and reading this reminded me of how we literally text the same and how you’re Funny Silly and the Best AND LIKE UGH YOU JUST ARE SO ⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️ GOOD LIKE ⁉️⁉️⁉️ i live for ur humor it’s toooooo good…

but omg lowkey i’ve been going through it so i needed a minute (a thousand years) bc college and life is out to get me bc im so funny smart sexy and so humble.. yessss…. BUT im SOOO back we are SOOOO back (im gonna jump. /j)

but i made a new account on twt and now im back on kpop/stantwt omg... bc my old one got s worded in 2019 bc i was being Real… (told a racist person to keep themselves safe) BUT WE (singular) ARE BACK😍😍😍

how have u been though i missed u 😞 i hope you’ve been great and taking care of yourself and i missed all anons too i hope you’ve all been doing well!! but yes i missed ur content and as per usual ur work makes me laugh and giggle and smile like ur just so good at what u do 😞😞 BUT YEAH I HOPE YOUVE BEEN GOOD I MISSED YOU (try not to repeat urself challenge impossible)

- 🌷

OMG HI BESTFRIENDDD we missed you so much over here 😭🫶🏽

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOOOUUU ughh i still can’t believe it’s actually finished like i’ll miss these two cutiebears.. but faaackkkk you’re too sweet and you’re making me blush like.. you think i’m funny.. biggest compliment ily fr YOU ARE THE BEST i’ll make sure to keep the humour up

HOPE COLLEGE IS GONNA START TREATING YOU WELL cant believe they’re having you go through war over there.. stay strong 😭 at least you have holidays now right? AMAZING!!! WE ARE SO FREAKING BACK EXACTLY

HSJDKSKS you sacrificed yourself 💔💔 i can’t imagine getting mine suspended i literally have 24k tweets on my private account istg if that account ever gets suspended we ALL have to get suspended.. kpoptwt is kinda ehh these days like everyone is just trying to get hit tweets 😑 i’m sure you’ll have fun tho, unfortunately i spent a lot of time on there too and UNFORTUNATELY i enjoy twt too 😭

awwwee i literally love you 😭😭😭🩷🩷🩷 i’ve been well, kinda doing nothing with this holiday and just chilling, i’ll be back soon with content tho THE GRIND NEVER STOPS 🙏🏽 i’m sure all the anons are doing well, they seem to be doing well, and i hope you’re doing well too!!! i’ll try to continue being good at what i do omg I MISSED YOU MORE LOVELY PLZ TAKE GOOD CARE OF YOURSELF AND HAVE A GOOD DAY OR NIGHT <333

[stampstamp]

Finished re-reading F*shigi Y*gi part 1 and the first and final arcs still spark joy so I'll keep my collection but volumes 9-11 were so frustrating that I'm gonna roast them a little under the cut (and be a bit critical of other aspects that don't hold up 30 years on)

Major spoilers and references to SA in the series under the cut! (And it's a super long rant!)

The dip in quality from 9 onwards was such a shame! The plot just turns into various enemies trying to rape the 15-year-old protagonist for three volumes! Not to be a pearl clutcher but Watase says the target demographic is middle school - junior high students and there's just a whole arc where:

It's implied that Nakago raped Miaka. It's later revealed he didn't manage to penetrate her and everyone is like 'oh phew! 😄' and her traumatic nightmares about her memories of him stripping her and pinning her down before she fainted just stop. 🤦

Also, in the author note alongside that part Watase comments that things are getting dark but points out that we've just learned that Yui didn't actually get raped by strangers so it's not all bad. Mate, your protagonist is being assaulted?? We can't take much solace in that revelation right now!

Then there's a bit where Amiboshi climbs on top of her while she's sleeping naked and kisses her without her consent (his parents had drugged her).

Meanwhile, Soi disguises herself as Miaka and tries to seduce Tamahome. I know it's a product of it's time but ughh the way Tamahome almost getting raped is handled so differently to scenes where Miaka is assaulted - it's awful. And there's also a 'gag' parody page where it replicates the scene where Tamahome found Miaka after she's been assaulted by Nakago but makes it look like one of the gay characters had raped Tamahome.

After his comrades have failed to take her virginity and stop her from summoning Suzaku, Tomo, who Watase confirms is gay, also tries to rape Miaka. 😑

In the last volume, Watase shares the ideas that there wasn't space for and they were so good 🥲 maybe you could have removed one of the SA scenes or one of the twenty times Miaka or Tamahome breaks it off and runs away to protect the other?

I used to like the author notes but this time they kept rubbing me the wrong way. Watase would say things like 'too bad we HAVE to spank our tiny terrier puppy to discipline it 🫤' or share racist travelogues about trips to China.

But it's kind of funny that in the author notes, Watase hinted at shipping Tamahome and Nakago 😂 never really gushed about how much she loved Tamahome/Miaka as a ship though. I quite like Keisuke/Tamahome as a ship - they got on well.

I was thinking about ranting about how Nuriko is handled but that's hard because 1. 90s 2. Another culture 3. Watase later came out as X gender so the offensive character notes were probably well intentioned and might be regretted now? 4. The translators had to do the usual thing of deciding which pronouns the character that's almost certainly trans would use, while also translating jokes that implied Nuriko is simply crossdressing for funsies and deciphering whatever the hell happened in vol 8 where Nuriko decided to be cis and in love with Miaka for a chapter or two.

I started shipping Tasuki and Nuriko this time and I was delighted to see 20 whole fics on AO3 but almost all of them misgender Nuriko. Maybe the anime subbers used different pronouns or Nuriko's backstory was different in the anime? Watase said someone did a Tasuki/Nuriko doujin and they wanted to read it. Same!

I used to think I wasn't attached to most of the Suzaku warriors beyond Tasuki because I'd re-read the first few volumes way more times than the rest but Watase really didn't give the others much to say or do! 😬 I feel sorry for the fans of Mitsukake(?) Apparently there were lots of Hotohori fans but I always found him creepy; despite his gentle actions, he never seemed to listen to Miaka's wishes. Yandere behaviour. Lucky for me he wasn't in it much (I also feel sorry for his fans lmao)

Forgot how much character death there was towards the end. It's impressive that Watase included characters from the Genbu and Byakko arcs decades before they were written IRL. I don't think I'll read those since FY suggests they ended badly? I wonder if much was retconned.

[goosebumpsbookclub]

The Curse of the Mummy's Tomb

Would you believe me if I said I actually read this book, like, ten months ago? And yet I haven't brought myself to write about it. It's just... so... odd.

So, okay. Mummies. Yes. It makes total sense that R.L. Stine tackled mummies early on in the series. But the weird thing is that he actually kind of didn't. Hear me out.

This book stars twelve-year-old Gabe, who's on vacation in Egypt, and starts out with this banger of a line: "I saw the Great Pyramid and got thirsty." Gabe is Egyptian American, which I think was an unexpected choice on R.L.'s part. He's not just a tourist; he's visiting family while his parents are on a business trip. So he has a personal connection to Egypt, although he also regards it with a sense of detachment, probably because he's grown up far away from the country his grandparents were born in. That's a compelling tension that R.L. probably isn't really equipped to mine, and doesn't seem interested in mining. Instead, Gabe just complains about being hot and fantasizes about "[f]ighting off ancient Egyptians who had come back to life to defend their sacred tomb, and escaping after a wild chase, just like Indiana Jones." Listen, I'm not Egyptian, so I could be wrong, but it seems a bit odd to me that an Egyptian kid--especially one whose dad is super interested in history--would find his first trip to Egypt boring because he didn't get to fight his ancestors in hand-to-hand combat.

But, okay, it is kind of refreshing that this isn't just another white kid. And his uncle Ben is a famous Egyptian archaeologist--like, an actual regular scientist from Egypt, not a Harrison Ford type. Ben is cool; he's fun, he's smart, he's kind of dorky. I liked him! His daughter Sari is the obligatory Annoying Girl Character. Ben is investigating tunnels under the pyramid and brings Gabe and Sari with him, where they meet Ahmed, who is just kind of ambiently scary. Whoops! We had a good thing going with Gabe and his family being normal, not-scary Egyptians, but I guess we needed to throw in one spooky one who likes to stare menacingly and rant about ancient curses. Oh, Robert.

What follows is a bit of filler: Ben's team starts getting sick, presumably for curse reasons. Gabe and Sari go to a museum and Ahmed chases them through it because he's weird and scary. We are now late in the book and there have been no mummies beyond the regular dead ones in the museum. When Gabe, Sari, and Ben return to the pyramid (why does he keep bringing these kids to work with him), they end up in a mummy preparation chamber, and Ahmed tells them they have to die for violating the chamber of an ancient priestess, which, okay. He even reveals that he scared the "sick" workers off in an effort to make Ben stop his investigation. So far--and we are nearing the end--this is not a fantasy book but instead a sort-of thriller about a Scooby-Doo villain. Then Gabe activates the totally normal mummy hand Ben gifted him, which is actually "the Hand of the Priestess" (what are the chances!), and all the mummies in the room come to life and scare Ahmed off. This is page 67 of a 70 page book. The mummies quickly go back to being dead again, and that's it. That's the entirety of the actual mummy content.

What happened here? Did R.L. Stine forget he needed to include monsters in his books? I can't imagine he would have handled them very well--he does a shaky enough job with Egyptian history and culture in the rest of the book--but I at least expected them to be there. Imagine if the undisputed king of racist mummy tales from the 90’s, 1999’s The Mummy, was an hour and forty-five minutes of Brendan Fraser noticing that things are getting a little spooky around here and fifteen minutes of there being a mummy. That's this book. I don't even know what to say, what to analyze. I'm so stuck on there being basically no mummies.

It’s worth noting the obvious, though: This book falls into a long tradition of white colonialist fascination with ancient Egyptian artifacts and dehumanization of the people mummies were in life, an attitude that even British museum curators, famously not the most anticolonialist bunch, have started pushing back against. I’m not surprised, of course—Goosebumps is much more about repackaging classic (white American) horror tropes for kids than it is about challenging them—but I reserve the right to roll my eyes at it.

There's no plot twist at the end, a rarity for Goosebumps, but I know there's a sequel. So I'm expecting there to be more mummies in that one. There must be. Right? Right?

Cover: Both the old and the new covers prominently feature a scary mummy, which is misleading. What I like about the old Jacobus one is that the mummy is definitely scary, what with the glowing red eyes and everything, but he's also just some guy. He looks like he's taking a school picture. 2/5

Scare factor: None. Nothing. It's only scary if you find Egyptian history (and present-day Egyptian introverts named Ahmed) inherently terrifying. In which case I have some questions for you. 0/5

Monster content: -12/5. Do better!

[teyums]

since in the last post you told us about your hometown and yourself. take this one as a chance to tell us about your interests! your likes and dislikes, opinions, and just whatever you feel like.

say what's on your mind! ;)

-☘️

i love how when i’m asked basic questions about myself i completely forget who i am, this took some time 💀 also clover anon ily!

(putting a read more for those who don’t want to scroll)

likes!

- I’m obsessed with jewelry. When i say obsessed i mean obsesseddd. Both my arms are always dressed with lots of beaded bracelets. There are 12 on each arm currently. And i got them from a market here in West Africa! some from last time I visited and others from this current visit as I bought a bunch more recently. they’re all natural stone beads. I never take them off, i sleep in them, shower in them they’re basically my second skin. i have three waist beads on my waist. I wear a pearl anklet on each leg and I usually have one certain necklace i keep on for months at a time before I switch it out with another. If i’m going to play volleyball or something, i’ll remove my bracelets so I won’t break them. But I put them back on right after bc i feel naked 💀

- I love piercings! I’m very expressive through jewelry on my body. I believe I have 13 last I counted. Four on one ear, three on the other. My first lobes are gold guages, but I like to mix silver and gold jewelry. My belly button, two nostrils, a septum, my ashley (middle of the lip), my smiley, and I used to have my tongue pierced but i swallowed it LMFAOO

- i’m such a foodie i don’t think i’ve had a food i don’t like and i’m not picky at all i love trying new things. but spaghetti takes the cake for my fav (simple i know) i also really like sushi!

- i love rain, don’t like getting wet though lol

- SQUISHMALLOWSSS

- favorite colors are pale green or forest green, soft purples, and burnt oranges!

- i love animals. my favorites are my two kitties, but i also have a dog and a bearded dragon who i also love

- I LOVEEE lemonade. Literally cannot last more than two days without lemonade in my house. That and water is all I drink lol, i’m not a big soda person.

- I love to write, have been doing it since I was in middle school. As cringy as it sounds it is like an escape lol. Just give me wifi (for dictionary and thesaurus) and my notes app and you won’t hear from me for a while.

dislikes!

- i hate ignorant people like anyone should. that includes any of the “phobes” and “ists” (that are bad). transphobes, homophobes, racists, fascists, ableists. you name it i hate it lol

- loud noises. i do not do well with loud noises at allll. makes me very anxious and for some reason angry?? this also applies directly for heat. even right now, i’m in my grandma’s room because it’s quiet and cool lol

- men ❤️. although i have been cursed with being attracted to them. so maybe i should say men who AREN’T fictional

interests

- to start with the obvious one, i have been obsessed with avatar since 2009! yes me, as a 6 year old, sitting there with my eyes covered by my parents’ hands when that scene of jake and neytiri came on screen. (we have the extended movie on blu-ray). that did not stop me from looking up exactly what happened on youtube and going down the rabbit hole that still has not ended. 😭 I’ve watched the first hundreds of times with my dad, so when we found out the 2nd was coming out we actually almost shit ourselves

- often confused with avatar, one of my favorite series is avatar the last airbender. after long debate with my sisters we have decided i would be an earthbender like toph (queen!!! also the name of one of my cats <3)

- i’m very spiritual. i like to meditate, sage and incense my room multiple times a week. I’m very cautious about who i allow around me because i do believe energy is easily transferred. I’m a great judge of character and can often tell if a person is good spirited or not.

- i’m a very opinionated person. anytime something is up for debate best BELIEVE i will be there to shout my opinion from the high tops. some people hate that about me, some love it, but hey i am who i am!

- was a monster high fanatic until like 14 i can’t even lie to y’all but anybody who liked monster high is a bad bitch now sooo

- late last year i picked up crocheting, really fun once you get the hang of things! i was over the moon when i made my first tote bag you couldn’t tell me anything 😭

[staring-aita]

@am-i-the-asshole-official Alright it's me, the submitter. Multiple people asked stuff so here goes nothing. (Warning: rape mention, read at your own risk)

Q/ Why can't you use photos or selfies instead of making them model?

Our school bans phones and photos, they're confiscated on the spot. Girls still sneak them sometimes but very discreetly so it's risky to just hand them over to someone else and leaving it with them for a long time. They could show me photos after school technically but I wouldn't go to anyone's house for a drawing. I didn't have a relationship with anyone outside of school except Lilo (17F, bffs since 1st grade) because we're neighbors. Personally I'm thankful I didn't have access to anyone's photos. So many things could go wrong with that.

Q/ Why didn't you just stop drawing them?

Easier said than done. I tried but they nagged and whined because they wanted the drawing. They would corner me in groups and shake my shoulders until I finally said yes. They said nice things which made me feel bad about saying no, I felt like I couldn't hold a friendship without giving a little, and currently I don't make any new friends in fear of history repeating itself.

They want me to draw them without looking and I explained that's not possible. They said nothing further and I assumed my explanations were enough. They also complained the drawings don't even look like them because I tried to hurry and finish it up so I don't stare as much. Also, I know my post made it seem like multiple girls asked me to stop but in fact only like 1 or 2 did. The rest were only dropping hinting that went over my head because I'm autistic and I didn't know how they felt until they reported me. They just would ask, "why are you staring?" And things like that which I answered honeslty because I didn't realize that was a rhetorical question.

Q/ You should've told them what modeling is like beforehand so they can decide if they're not comfortable with it.

They knew. Everyone is present when a girl is being drawn, they're all watching me and begging to be next. We also have art classes where these things are explained in details.

Q/ Why did nobody defend you?

Sorry for being vague. That's not the case. The only consequence to my action was being told to stop talking to those girls. I wasn't punished otherwise, I didn't get an official warning or temporarily suspended or even had my parents contacted because Lilo advocated for me. I didn't ask for her help when I was being pressured because she's black and I didn't want her to be bullied for my sake. The people here are very racist. However, I didn't know this until very later but Lilo was going to be expelled for getting in a physical fight with the girls who spread the rumors, but she was forgiven thankfully.

Q/ Part of the story is missing/You must be leaving something out on purpose.

Sorry I forgot to mention that this happened a while ago, I'm actually out of school now, an adult (but I'm still very much affected by the situation) So I was ashamed to admit the reasoning behind my "we're all girls" comment. Basically, I meant for that to be comforting. I'm a sex repulsed asexual so I never Google mature stuff, and as a result, I'm incredibly naiive and ignorant even now. I actually didn't know it was possible for girls to have sex, I thought lesbians hold hands, hug and kiss, innocent stuff like that. It wasn't until I got reported that Lilo pulled me aside and explained everything, because I was confused what the heck a predatory lesbian was. So basically by saying we're all girls, I was assuring her that I //can't// do anything to her.

Other than that, this particular situation was in a series of other situations that happened all at once but they're irrelevant and I didn't bother to mention them because I'm sure I'm 100% NTA on all them while the only one I'm second guessing about is one the original post.

But here's the full story so you can judge by yourself, I bet it's gonna sound more wild:

The main girl in this situation is Rosa (21F, yes, she failed a few years), she was the oldest and basically the leader of the friend group?? The friend group consisted of 11 girls, 2 were on my side, the others took Rosa's side and they stopped talking to the 3 of us after this incident.

It started by Rosa inviting me and my 2 friends to sit with them at breakfast (yeah we don't have lunch breaks, only breakfast). She was friendly and encouraged me to talk to people more, I have social anxiety and I rarely speak with people who aren't Lilo or the friends I made through her. I can't initiate anything, it's always the other person. I always had doubts but Rosa was too nice and patient, she made feel comfortable with her and her other friends. I started opening up to them, talking more with them, visiting them at home, walking home together, (trying to) adventure etc. Until these incidents took place:

1. The drawings happened first. When they reported me, they claimed the drawings were done without their consent.

2. All girls in the class were voting for prettiest girl. Each of us voted and explained why. Yes I know if you want to compliment a person's appearance you pick what they have control over, but in this context the girls were talking about natural beauty so it was appropriate of me to say Rosa has pretty green eyes, clear tan skin and hourglass figure, I voted for her. She didn't appreciate that, all the girls said similar compliments when they were voting so I know I wasn't out of line.

3. A few days later I wanted to chat with her but I was sick and about to fall over. I glanced at her wanting to talk, changed my mind because I thought I might throw up, and laid my head on my desk. She thaught I was watching her and felt "unsafe" being alone with me in class, which I didn't know about until she reported me and said she was afraid "I was gonna rape her." Everyone else confirmed I was too sick to be able to do anything that day.

4. There's a vacant apartment in the second floor of our house and my grandpa is the landlord. My parents said there are signs of a group of men breaking in the apartment at night to do illegal stuff. I got curious and secretly decided to "investigate" but during the day for my safety. I told Rosa and her friends decided to spin it on me by claiming I was HOSTING those men and sneaking out to drink and do drugs with them and sleep with them all. (How they spread this rumor AND the predatory lesbian rumor at the same time, beats me.)

I was reported soon after midterms, Lilo speculated Rosa wanted to cut us off because we refused to help her cheat during the exams, but the drawing things had happened for longer than that so I'm not sure. However, Lilo heard Rosa tell the admins that I'm too ugly and she didn't want to be friends with me. But I was always "ugly" even when she invited me to the friend group???

Several months after the fact I witnessed Rosa crying in a teacher's lap and the teacher was comforting her and told her she didn't deserve any of that and referenced the incident so I kept wondering if I'm the asshole.

AITA for staring at my classmate's body despite her asking me not to?

I'm an artist (17F) I go to an all girls school and I usually draw between classes. I have commission prices and keep advertising them, but my classmates always request free art and are pushy about it that I end up feeling pressured into it.

Sometimes classmates would ask me to draw them and I ask them to sit down and not move. My style is somewhere between realism and anime. They think the drawing would take like 2 minutes and I tell them to be patient. I usually need 15 minutes to sketch. I like to be accurate and draw the exact body type they have and similar stylized facial features. They keep telling me it makes them uncomfortable that I stare at them. I say "deal with it, this is art." or "we're all girls, does it even matter?" Or "I can stop drawing you if that's what you want, you know." Despite that they want the drawing but expect me to draw their bodies from memory.

Now I have the reputation of a creep and a "predatory lesbian" despite not being a lesbian in the first place. I was reported for the drawings. I defended myself by blaming them for pressuring me to do the art and I was told I'm dismissive of people's boundaries, I was banned from speaking with the classmates who reported me despite them previously claiming to be friends with me. Who is the real asshole here?

[livgr3]

Viewing Response 1: West Side Story (1961)

In "The American Film Musical," Rick Altman ultimately finds that a movie musical is a "cultural problem-solving device" which advances by fleshing out two poles of a social binary, rather than advancing linearly through a series of subsequent events as a typical non-musical film is expected to do (27). Lauren Davine analyzes Robbins and Wise's West Side Story as a "device" which explores racial difference as its central conflict, with the film allegedly favoring Puerto Rican subjugation and assimilation to white American culture as a sign of the times in which it was created.

Make no mistake, the whitewashed casting and subsequent use of brown-face in this film are absurd and inexcusable. The ways in which the film deals with racial difference are neoliberal wishes for a "post-racial" society at best, and a way of pushing a racist agenda at worst. That being said, as a woman of color watching this film, I strangely found myself developing an interpretation of it that was sort of a rereading or reclaiming of the representation of gender and racial identity in the film's world, especially through the incredibly performed character of Anita.

If Altman posits that a movie musical explores a "problematic dichotomy," then I think there are two dichotomies of similar importance at play in West Side Story: White/Puerto Rican, and Masculinity/Femininity. In my idealistic reading of the film, I found that toxic masculinity was the ultimate antagonistic force of the narrative, while femininity was portrayed as much more clever and complex.

The Prologue... What a way to open a film!!! In its first minutes, West Side Story hits us with a seemingly never ending display of performed, choreographed, bodily masculinity (if you choose to suspend your disbelief and accept the fact that snapping, skipping, and jumping are indeed masculine in the world of this film). Despite the fact that the young men are literally fighting through dance, this activity seems weirdly freeing. It provides them with non-stop movement and what seems to be an unlimited control of the city. In fact, no one else can be seen, not even any moving car on the street, in this dance sequence until the interference of the police at the number's end. As free as the two gangs seem to be through their dance though, wider shots show a constant sense of confinement within the city, as the buildings stretch yards and yards taller than them. I find this confinement within the city's walls to be symbolic of the larger social order which condemns the boys to this behavior while also dividing them across lines of race. When the police come after the number, their dismissal of the Sharks and lecture of the jets exemplifies this racial disparity. While both gangs danced/fought with the same vigor, the Jets are essentially told to “go play in a park,” as though their innocence can still be salvaged. The Sharks, on the other hand, are never given any chance of rehabilitation, as their delinquent behavior is assumed to be synonymous with their race.

From this moment, dancing and fighting remain critical to both the Sharks and the Jets throughout the film, as Doc even says “You saw how they dance. Too much feeling and they’ve got to get rid of it. That’s how they fight.” By the second act, the endless fighting renders itself pointless and tiresome. It is in this way that I think the film is both pitiful and mocking of the constraints of toxic masculinity. Tony's longing for Maria is of course a site of tension for its being interracial by nature, but his longing for "Something Coming" even before he meets Maria seems like a longing to escape the never-ending fighting of the masculine world and embrace his more "feminine" emotions.

More to say but I'm well past the word limit so I'll save it for class discussion!