#I’m not a girl except sometimes I am and sometimes I hate it we’re going w the flow idk man it depends on the day

[leatherforhell]

just a reminder that Clara and I are not cis. u know when janet form the good place says “not a girl?” that’s us. in different ways but that’s the overlap

[canthelpit0]

American

Pairing: matt x poc!reader

Wordcount: 2.2K +

Summary: reader is a third culture kid. Her parents are immigrants, and she hates it. She wants to be everything she is not.

Warnings: angst, crying, hating your own culture, racism, internalized racism, middle eastern!reader, reader discerned as average, established relationship, pet names, hurt/comfort, no use of y/n, no oc; reader described to have curly hair, brown eyes and hair.

(A/N: not me reflecting lmao. asks and req are open <3 feedback is appreciated! Ps: I am Türkisch, and this isn’t meant to be racist, it’s just thoughts about myself that I used to have portrayed by y/n. This is for awareness abt internalized racism)

I hate my culture. I hate my frizzy hair, I hate the fact that my eyes are a plain brown. I hate the fact that I’m not white. I hate that when someone asks me where I’m from and I say America, they go “no where are you actually from?”. I hate my brain. I hate the way I think. I hate the way I wish I was someone else. I hate myself, and I hate the way I hate myself.

I was never considerably pretty. Well not really. Sure the facial harmony, the potential is there. But I’m just not good enough.

I wish my hair was straight.

I hate the way I hate my own culture. I really do. But I literally can’t fit into the American beauty Standards , but I can’t fit into the middle eastern ones either.

My home country is America. I was born and raised here. But both of my parents are immigrants from turkey. -Wich means we’re not very wealthy.

I hate it when people ask me where I’m from because I look ‘exotic’.

I wouldn’t consider turkey my home country. I hate it there. And I don’t know if it’s just my internalized hatred or whatever, but I do.

Even in the country itself I’m not considered Turkish enough. In the US I’m not American enough…

I’m never enough.

Not to my parents, not to my siblings, not to my boyfriend. Not to myself. I’m not good enough.

we go to turkey for vacation every year and I’m sick of it.

I speak the language enough to communicate. I hate half the food because I’m a picky eater. It hurts even more because I’m not even considered properly Turkish.

I hate the way all my cousins, except for one, live In turkey. I hate the way they’re so close to each other. And despite being in the cousins group chat, they’ll always send in pictures of them all together. Pictures that I’ll never be in, simply because I’m halfway across the world.

Years ago, whenever we visited, it didn’t matter, the fact that I live so far away, but now they were judgy.

Besides I don’t trust anything there. Sure the stuff there is cheaper, but you could literally put me in an official Nike store and I would still tell you the shoes are fake, even tho they obviously aren’t.

I did an internship at a disposition and shipping company. I know that those shoes come from the same warehouse. I just don’t trust anything Turkish.

Growing up with so many myths that my parents taught me to live by, until I realized it’s just a bunch of bullshit, made me believe that nothing purchased in turkey is of any quality.

And it’s not even to hate on the nation or anything, it’s probably my own fault.

I hate the way all the other middle easternerns are so confident in where they’re from, flexing the fact that they naturally know more languages than Americans.

But I just wish I was one of those stupid Americans. Oblivious to the rest of the world and all the flaws in human nature. I wish I was a skinny white woman born into an upper middle class American family.

But instead I have to be what I am.

I hate it when I hear people talk in my ‘native’ language. Even tho that’s the only language we speak at home.

Sometimes I feel great knowing that I have culture and just naturally great genetics, and potential and resources to be better than those stuck in a village in my ‘home’ town.

But then it dawns on me that I’m not American, even if I was born and raised here it’s not my home country. And as much as I feel like it should be and is, it’s not.

It dawns on me that I’m not white. I’m not one of them. And I never will be.

And that makes me question why Matt is even dating me.

There is so much internal self hatred and racism going on in me, yet still he chose me over those white girls.

And I don’t get it.

Every time I look at myself in the mirror I sigh. Let’s ignore the fact that I’m not white like that and will never be. Even being middle eastern, or whatever the hell turks are considered, I don’t look like that either.

I fit literally nowhere. Sure I have dark brown hair and brown eyes, I look pretty average. But I still don’t look Turkish, I don’t have that straight hair or painfully skinny body.

I let out a heavy sigh without even noticing. These thoughts were getting loud again.

I hate how strict and conservative my parents are. I hate the painful lack of empathy they show, because I always have to be perfect, when I’m oh so confused of what type of perfect.

I don’t know if they want me to be a cheerleader and prom queen and top of my class like they never could. Or if they want me to be conservative or something.

Probably the latter, but-

“What are you thinking about?” Matt’s voice suddenly snaps me out of my daze. We literally had laid down to sleep and all I could do is pity myself.

I feel a lump in my throat and only now realize how i feel like I’m going to break into sobs.

Matt must’ve heard my uneven, shaky breaths.

Matt was spooning me, his arms wrapped around my waist, holding me close to him. He rubs my sides gently, tracing shapes on my skin.

I sigh in response. I feel like I haven’t used my voice in so long. I feel like if I speak now, I’ll break into sobs.

“Baby?” He whispers softly. I feel him pull away slightly until he turns me around to face him.

“Talk to me sweetheart.”

Matt is such a kind soul. I literally didn’t tell my parents we were dating until we were already dating for 7 months, just because I was that scared. I wasn’t allowed to date or do anything intimate. As if it wasn’t normal for a teenager to want to.

“Why do you like me Matt?” I blurt out before I can think.

“First off, I don’t like you, I love you. And second where is this coming from?” He asks sweetly his eyes having a tinge of concern to them. He looks so sweet and caring.

“Why tho?” I inquire. My voice low. I know my eyes are glassy, I’m quite literally holding back tears.

Matt licks his lips and sits up. He turns the bedside table lamp on. The dim yellow light aluminates the room slightly, just enough so that I can see his prominent features even better.

“What do you mean?” He asks again now sitting up fully. He has his legs Chris-cross, looking down at me while I still lay on my side.

I sigh trying to gather my thoughts. I purse my lips lying back on my back. I stare at the ceiling for a moment.

“Why do you love me?” I purse my lips. I blink furiously trying to hold back tears.

The way he looks at me is sweet and caring. I sit up just like him. Both of us now sitting across each other, Chris-cross.

Matt and I have been together for a long while, so he knows me. But I never openly talked about it.

“I love you because you’re kind, and caring. I love you because you could talk for hours about things you are passionate about. I love your voice, I love your face, I love the way you’re so delicate with everything. I love the way you touch me. I love you because even when we were just friends you were so kind to me and everyone around. I love you because you’re you.”

By the end of his rant I was crying. Tears streaming down my face while i try to hold in gut wrenching sobs.

Matt’s eyes soften even further. He shifts again so his back is against the head-bored. He grabs me gently and sets me down on his lap facing him.

I cry. Feeling vulnerable I burry my face in the side of his neck. I try not to sob too loud, but I can’t hold it in. With my sobs my body shakes as I try to breathe through it.

“Shh you’re okay baby.” He comforts, gently rubbing circles into my back.

I let out shaky breaths and sobs as I try to calm down. I feel like I’m overreacting. Sure I feel shitty about myself, but then again I can’t do anything to change who I am, so what’s the point in crying about it.

I don’t know for how long I cry, I just know that after a while I couldn’t anymore. I cried so much I ran out of tears.

“You want to talk about it?” Matt asks softly under his breath.

I let out a shaky sigh and shift slightly. I look him in the eyes for a second before letting my head fall forward closing my eyes. I know my eyes are probably red and puffy.

“I just..” I trail off, thinking of a way to describe this to Matt.

“I hate being an immigrant’s daughter..” I say slowly trying to figure out a way to understandably say this without sounding crazy or overly sensitive.

I feel Matt’s hand ghost over my cheek caressing my face gently. He picks up my head slowly so I’m looking at him. My eyes meet his as I try not to cry anymore.

“Talk to me, honey.” He says oh so sweetly.

“I just wish I was American.” I sob. Without even realizing tears were rolling down my face again.

Matt doesn’t say anything waiting for me to continue. He wipes away my tears gently, his eyes full of concern.

“I hate myself and everything I stand for.” I breathe out under my breath as if I’m terrified by that fact. And I am. I hate that I hate myself.

“Baby..” Matt whispers softly. He looks at me like I am everything. He looks at me like I’m the only thing that matters and me saying that I hate myself tears him apart.

“I don’t have a culture. I mean I do, but I’m a third culture kid, I’m not enough for either culture.” I sob. I can physically feel my bottom lip trembling.

“Baby, I love you for you.” Matt says again softly. He wipes away my tears.

“But I hate myself Matt. I hate the fact that I exist.” I breathe out. I close my eyes tightly, because after all, I could barely see anything through my tears anyway.

Matt, being the empath he is, was on the verge of crying too.

No American ever pronounces my name right, but the actual right way just sounds wrong at this point.

I will never find my name on those keychains. And while today, I don’t care about it, back when I was younger and everyone had those, I just couldn’t find one.

“Don’t say that” Matt breaths out. He was still actively wiping away my tears while trying not to cry himself.

“You don’t get it Matt. I’m the problem.” I breathe out harshly. “I feel like I always act like such a brat about it. But my parents had dreams too.” I breathe out.

I see a tear roll down Matt’s cheek and it feels like a slap across my face. I feel my stomach drop. I hurriedly put my hands on his face wiping away the tear while crying myself. Matt’s hands go to my waist holding me.

“Don’t say that.” He breathes out. “You’re allowed to feel things.”

Another wave of sadness washes over me. But before I can break out into sobs again he pulls me into him.

Matt cradles my head into his chest hugging me tightly. I feel safe in his arms. I know Matt loves me for me, but sometimes it still felt like a cruel joke.

Like when I was asked out in middle school as a joke. But we’ve been dating for almost a year now.

“I love your hair, I love your eyes, I love your face, I love your culture, I love your humor. I love you.” Matt assures me. He rubs my scalp gently as I continues to let out small sobs that shake my body.

“I love everything about you. I love you the way you are, and you know that.” He uses his other hand to rub my back comfortingly.

I continue to cry in his arms listening to the sweet nothings and the praises Matt whispers to me.

It hurts knowing I hurt him. And I really want to believe him, and I do. But I don’t agree.

After a while of crying I calm down again.

This is a topic I’ll never be able to talk about without crying. It’s a deep rooted pain.

Being how I am, I hate it.

After a while we move back to a laying down position. “We’ll talk about this later.” Matt assures firmly yet he was still looking at me kindly.

I simply nod. Matt turns the bedside lamp off. He pulls me closer to him. He cradles my head to his chest and I hug him back. I cling to him like my life depends on it.

I know it’s not going to be easy, but it’s exhausting to hate myself this much. I wish I didn’t. I really do.

Masterlist

A/N: All of us third culture kids have probably at some point have experienced some type of internalized racism. I wrote this in a fit of sadness after realising that my dreams are just dreams. I cried so many times while writing this. I hope you guys liked it 💕

‼️please don’t copy my work/idea‼️

Taglist: @muwapsturniolo , @sturnad , @iluvm4ttsturni0l0 , @evie-sturns , @me09love , @fratbrochrisgf , @spideylovin , @chrissgirlsstuff , @stunza , @whicked-hazlatwhore , @sturniooolos , @ecliphttlunar , @orangeypepsi , @klaus223492 , @char112244 , @sst7niolo , @slut4chriss , @mattsturniololoverr , @th3-3d3n-g4rd3n , @st7rnioioss , @t1llysblogs , @nonat-111 , @blahbel668 , @rockstarchr1s , @sturnsintrouble , @nayveetbhh , @tillies33ssss , @sturncakez , @strnilo , @somegirlfromasgard , @mattslovelygf , @sturnsmaeve , @sturnstvr , @lucianastrun , @jnkvivi , @jamiesturniolo

[koitarou]

|| fatherhood. ||

girldad!kiyoomi x fem!reader; wc: 1.2k of pure struggle; cw: reader is not present in the picture, imagine whatever happened to her, mid 50s kiyoomi, sad ish?, im thawing out cut me some slack, kiyoomi is a gorl dad missing you a/n: fuck you kevin hart, i wanted to watch a comedy movie and not BAWL. alexa play daddy issues

Kiyoomi guesses it’s been a while since he has missed you. 

Kokomi takes up every minute, every second he has to offer— not that he minds it. Maybe sometimes he hates it, hates being so preoccupied with her that forgets to miss you. The last thing he wants to do is forget you, even when he is old enough that his already greying hairs start to fall out.

You’ve been gone for long enough that he has forgotten what you felt like in his arms, how you smelled when he hugged you close to his chest. He hates that his senses are giving up on him.

But he hasn’t forgotten everything about you. He hasn’t forgotten the way you rolled your eyes at him whenever you disagreed, how you always latched onto his arm whenever you got scared watching a horror movie, how you kissed his forehead twice for each mole he has— because she does the same.

Kiyoomi is glad to have Kokomi in his life because everytime he looks at her, he sees you. It’s not a stretch when someone asks if he misses you and he says no, because he never will. He might forget what you feel like but he will never forget you, the you who gave him the best gift in the world, his daughter, his baby. 

The more she grows up, the more she resembles you. As he grows older, he sees Kokomi growing older and it’s bittersweet. He’s proud of her for everything she’s achieved in her life and proud of himself for bringing up his amazing daughter. It was tough at first, balancing his career and her, but with everyone's help, it was possible. It takes a village to raise a child, but what good is a village if it has no head. That’s what he felt like when he was just starting out, he felt lost without you to help him. He had his team, his village, to support him through thick and thin but he used to miss you. 

As the team grew and so did your daughter, he realised everything was indeed good. He feels proud of them as well, Atsumu, Bokuto, Hinata, Komori, everyone. 

He likes to believe you would’ve been proud too— of Kokomi, of the team. 

But he especially misses you today. Seeing your daughter off to college, he remembers your face glowing when you used to talk about milestones of your baby’s life and her going to college.

“Kiyo, she’s gonna be amazing I know it.”

“Yes baby, she will be,” “You have to lay off her though.”

“What”

“I know you'll be crying the day she goes to college and fussing all over her. Ugh, especially with boys”

“No, I won’t. Except boys, I don’t trust those hormone ridden monsters”

“Of course you don't, darling. Because you never were one, right? You were a toddler and straight up went to being an adult.”

And then you rolled your eyes at him the same way Kokomi is doing right now, “Dad, I’m going to be honest with you, I can’t swear off boys. I just can’t–”

“Yes, you can. Promise me.”

“Dad—

“Promise me that you’ll be my little girl forever, never leaving me, ever.”

“We’re literally standing in front of my dorm room. You’re gonna have to leave at some point.” She narrows her eyes at him, still holding onto his hand.

He notices that. There were a lot of things he saw of you in her but she was his daughter too, he notices the way she’s picking at her nails, a nervous habit she’s has had ever since she was 5. She doesn’t want him to leave, not with the grip she has on his hand. 

“You know I am here for you, right?”

“Yes, dad and I love you too.” Never good at words but they both managed, understood each other even though you weren’t there to do the talking for him.

“He’s bein’ mean again, y/n!”

“Tsumu you know he doesn’t mean that, he appreciates the thought you put into this gift.” “Yeah, I’m surprised he could think at all”

“Kiyo!– Tsumu, he means it’s great, he’s just affectionately dumb.”

He takes in a deep breath, the tingling sensation at the back of his throat feels familiar and he lets out a chuckle because he’s really going to cry now. Standing at her dorm room’s door, his heart feels heavy, and he’s looking at her now, ready to start a new chapter of her life, all on her own.

He cups her face and plants a kiss on her forehead, “One for me–” He kisses her temple, his hand holding the back of her head as she reaches out for a hug, “–and one for mom.”

She’s holding onto him tightly now, her fists balled up with the back of his jacket balled up in her fists, she mumbles, “I’m gonna miss you so much, dad. Promise to visit me, please?” 

“Every weekend, Kokomi, I promise.” He smiles and wraps his arms around her, cradling her head as he lets his jacket soak up her tears. He feels happy and he knows you would’ve been happy too and that’s all he needs to know.

Kokomi starts to draw back but he tightens his grip on her, and with a shaky voice, he whispers, “Give your old man a few more minutes more, please sweetheart.” 

Kokomi hums and they both stand there silently, until she breaks the silence with a ‘hey dad?’ and this time Kiyoomi hums in response, pulling away to look at her and finally let go.

“Mom would’ve been really proud of you.” 

Oh.

Kiyoomi doesn’t realise he is crying until he tastes the salty tears in his mouth and Kokomi wipes his cheeks, “And I am proud too. One more thing–” With a smile as she goes on her tippy toes to kiss his moles, “–One from me and one from mom.” 

Kiyoomi guesses it’s fine he didn’t miss you a lot, he never had to.

“And dad?”

“You weren’t serious about the ‘here every weekend’ thing though, right?”

“How much do you wanna bet at least one of your uncles will be here every weekend?”

Kokomi begins to whine in defiance to his response but is interrupted by a wailing Atsumu rushing towards them with Hinata, Bokuto and Komori in hot pursuit.

“Our baby’s all grown up!” Atsumu cries from behind Kiyoomi, sniffling and pushing him out of the way as he rushes to bring Kokomi into a bear hug and pats her head rather desperately, “Don’t forget about us, yeah?? And don’t forget us, we’re all here for ya. Also boy’s are disgustin’, ya won’t like ‘em anyways–”

“Why’s everyone obsessed with tha-”

In a flash, she’s squashed between 4 middle aged men bawling their eyes out and preaching they’re thoughts and views and promising to lay their lives down for her as she starts tearing up with them, telling them to take care of each other as well as her father since she won’t be there everyday.

Looking at this scene, Kiyoomi thinks his village did just fine. Plus he guesses it’s okay he didn’t get to miss you a lot because he believes it’s better to never not stop thinking about someone than miss them.

And he thinks– no he knows, you’re proud of him.

☆⌒ (ゝ。∂) ©️ all credits belongs to @koitarou 2022, do not repost, modify or translate my work on any platform. Plagiarism is strictly forbidden.

☆reblogs, likes and comments are super appreciated!

[fixated-on-something]

I think about the magicians too much so here are some of my favourite quotes

Silly ones

Julia and Quentin: DO WE NOT AMUUUUUSE?

Julia: We made up that dance and it was TERRIBLE!

Quentin: oh god

Julia: It was so.. white.. and BAD.

Penny: I like your sweater

Quentin: Are you saying that to be cruel?

Penny: No. I like your sweater, I saw no reason not to share

Quentin: Well then, shall we go fuck some shit up?

Penny: Yes.

Margo: Yes.

Eliot: Yes definitely. Definitely yes.

Penny: Agreed. Feelings are bullshit.

Alice: Is that a traveller thing?

Penny: It’s a hearing voices thing

Alice: Well at least it beats whatever you were snorting

Penny: Marginally.

Kady: Ok, Mindslut?

Quentin: I don’t know you EITHER, except that we just summoned a killer MOTHMAN from another WORLD!

Marina: Did you figure you wanted to learn magic at your blow dry last week?

Penny: You’re welcome. (Blows kiss)

Quentin: What does that mean????

Quentin: you really don’t have to try to make me feel better we basically just met

Eliot: Well, I bond fast. Time is an illusion…

Eliot: How about I find you, and I don’t say magic is real, but I do seduce you and so lift your spirits that life retains its sparkle for decades…

Quentin: …yeah that sounds nice thank you

Dream Alice: If you would shut up for 2 seconds this sex dream could pass the Bechtel test, Quentin

Eliot: Once one of them offered to blow me for a spell. It was barely worth it.

Quentin: Is someone being creepy on purpose?

Margo: that is…. Not super consistent with the books

Quentin (genuinely very distressed): no!!! It’s not!!!! And I find that devastating!!! ☹️

Quentin: You can’t possibly want to be a dick more than you want to live!

Eliot: Oh yes very pristine, it’s been taken over by a kiddy diddling mutant.

Penny: The hell are you drinking?

Alice: I don’t know- triple sec?

Penny: What did Quentin do.

Margo: So we are fucked without grease

Quentin: Sounds like us

Eliot: Must be a Monday. Onward to glory.

Penny: Whoa WHOA WE ARE NOT. NOT. Killing a U.S. senator. But we will commit a felony… almost as stupid.

Eliot: IHEREBYDECREE! Rulers… done gonna rumble.

Margo: Ps we still hate you, but it’s the 21st century it shouldn’t be this hard for a girl to get an evil demigod abortion.

Niffin Alice: what’s this bitch doing in my room?

Margo: By agreeing to marry a stranger on the spot?

Eliot: I did it!

Margo: That was different.

Eliot: You’re right. This would only really be equivalent if Ess was a girl, and you found pussy you know, interesting in a ‘sometimes you like Thai food’ kinda way and now it’s all Thai food forever TILL YOU DIE.

Eliot: Hooolyyy shit the walking plot twist returns

Penny: Hi I need something

Eliot: Shocker. Hey Fen look it’s Uncy Penny! That’s right, I knocked her up. No big deal.

Penny: Uh- congratulations?

Eliot: like I needed more people calling me daddy but yes, thanks, we’re… thrilled.

Eliot: I am in way over my head. I’m not even in control of which of my bodies is awake and my sexually aggressive wife- she could wake me up at any moment in Fillory and-

Fogg: There are certain student teacher boundaries which I prefer not to cross.

Penny: “Let’s go hunt the white lady?” People like me get SHOT for saying shit like that.

NOW THE HEART SHATTERING ONES

Eliot: Do you think it’s real?

Quentin: Some of the good parts have to be. At least I hope so.

Eliot: Things aren’t usually worth caring about

Margo: Eliot he’s gone. why are your torturing yourself?

Eliot: Because he’s gone. And it’s my fault. And of all the people in the world who don’t understand, somehow you top the list.

Quentin: Every book every movie… is about one special guy. The chosen. You know in real life, for every one guy there are a billion people who aren’t.

Margo: I'm a king. Not a goddamn princess. A king.

Julia: I think it’s because it happened. And there’s nothing… magic about it anymore.

Emily: I don’t blame myself. Except for when I first wake up… and when I go to bed, and all the time in between.

Then obviously any quite related to 3x05 and pretty much the entirety of The Mountain Of Ghosts

I missed a bunch and these are mostly season 1-2 because that’s when I was taking notes during my rewatch

[cloudlessly-light]

Sometimes I feel like I keep sending my promts like a crazy fan girl. But I think I am a crazy fan girl. So I have this thing in my mind. Hotch and Em saw each other naked once and Emily knows that bossman has big dick energy and HUGE DICK in his pants. So after they got together Aaron is afraid he will hurt Emily (cause nobody could take him all inside) so that’s why he doesn’t go all the way but Emily is sooo excited and says “I want it all”. I hope I’m not too crazy :)

A/N 1: Hey all you wonderful people, I’m officially back from my little break and I have a few things in the works that I really hope you like, but first we’re going back to old school Sara and doing a Hotchniss filth based on an ask! A/N 2: Hi Anon! Thank you so much, I always like hearing that people enjoy these silly little writings of mine! Title: Give me everything you want and need Summary: Emily accidentally walks in on Aaron in the shower when they’re forced to share a room. She’s impressed. Rating: Explicit Word Count: 3,1k Warnings: Smut, dirty talk, BDE Hotch (Yes that deserves its own warning), multiple orgasms, spanking (blink and you miss it)

 It’s an accident, it’s not like she planned for it to happen, it was one of those moments that she’d think back on and wonder why. But she was also happy that it happened, even though it was embarrassing, it was kind of their turning point.

She’s coming back from JJ’s room, the woman too pregnant for it to be fair for her to share a room so Emily had ended up sharing a room with Aaron. She didn’t know that he was back from the precinct, to be honest she kind of figured that he’d stay there all night. So she enters the hotel room and pulls her shirt off, followed by her pants and is heading into the bathroom when she sees him.

Aaron looks as shocked as she feels as he quickly grabs the towel on the sink, completely naked in front of his subordinate.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry!” She doesn’t mean to stare, but for a moment she lets herself. She sees the droplets of water dripping from his short hair, down his chest, covered with fine dark hair and further down where she got a glimpse of Aaron Hotchner in all his glory. And what a glory it was.

“Prentiss!” He all but yells when she doesn’t immediately turn away which makes her realize that her tiny thong and almost sheer bra is barely even covering her and she slams the door shut.

“I’m sorry!” She says again through the door as she frantically pulls her clothes back on. “I-I’ll sleep in Derek’s room.” Her voice lowers as he comes out of the bathroom, towel secured around his hips and a glare in his eye. “I thought you were still at the station.” She tries to explain but he just keeps staring at her and she feels herself wanting to squirm under the intensity of his gaze.

“It’s almost 2AM.” He says and she’s unsure if that’s his response to why he’s back to get a few hours of sleep, or his way to object to waking up Derek and Spencer in the next room so she just stares mutely at him.

The tension is thick, both of them simply staring at each other for what feels like hours until he sighs.

“Just, don’t mention this again.” He says and she hates the fact that her cheeks tint pink at the mere thought of him naked.

“This never happened.” She tells him and he offers a small smile.

It doesn’t surprise either of them when Emily finds herself outside his door less than two weeks later, kissing him with all the desire she’s felt for years.

But they don’t end up in bed that night, instead their kisses turn into a long talk, admittance of attraction and feelings until they fall asleep wrapped up in each other. So they start dating, and it’s easier that she’d ever thought it would be, except for the fact that Aaron would stop her wandering hands or searching lips once they got past the point of making out like teenagers.

It frustrated her, because she could feel him, huge and hard and pressing against her as she straddled his lap but he would stop her every time. A few weeks go by and she’s so wound up that she was sure that she’d implode from the heated tension that never seemed to leave her body, even after trying to take matters into her own hands, literally. But she didn’t want to rush him, she figured that he wanted to take it slow because she’d be the first woman after Haley, he wanted to be sure and she respected that.

They’re working a local case and she had just finished an interrogation with him, he had been intimidating and arrogant, bordering on aggressive with the unsub cowering in front of them. And Emily could feel the way her thighs clenched under the table, the steady thump of want, the heat of her arousal. He had always been impressive, had always demanded respect with as little as a look, but since they started dating she found it harder to control her body’s urges.

They leave Quantico that night with a case solved and a murderer in custody and Emily doesn’t question when he follows her home in his car. The team didn’t know about them yet and she would be lying if she said it wasn’t fun sneaking around.

“You were hot today.” She muses against his lips as he presses her against her front door before she turns in his arms, her hand trembling as she tries to get the key in the lock.

“Is that so?” He chuckles and presses a chaste kiss to her neck from behind and then patiently waits for her to unlock the door.

“Yes.” She opens the door and turns to take his hand, big and warm and starting to feel right in hers. “Always appreciated a handsome man in a suit, being decisive.” Her eyebrow arched as she smirked when his hands landed on her hips, pulling her closer to him just as the door closed behind him.

“I see.” He nuzzled her nose, teasing her before giving her a kiss that is supposed to be quick, but he easily finds himself unable to move away. She was addictive, a drug he never wanted to quit. He only pulled away from her when her stomach rumbled and he chuckled. “Are you hungry, sweetheart?”

“Didn’t have time for lunch.” She shrugged, it wasn’t unusual but Aaron hated when she skipped a meal and he frowned at her. “Italian?” She asked before he had a chance to reprimand her.

“Sounds good.” He was already picking up his phone and dialed the number to the restaurant he knew she loved. “Go shower, change, I’ll pick up dinner.” He smiled and Emily tried to ignore the flutter in her chest that he knew her well enough already to know that she always wanted to shower the stench of murder off her the moment she came home.

She showers quickly and changes into an old shirt and shorts that she knows are too short but she doesn’t care. The way his eyes lingers on her exposed legs when she comes back down the stairs makes satisfaction tingle along her spine and she pretends not to notice the way his jaw clenches and he swallows harder.

“This smells delicious.” She says instead and sits down at the table where he had just finished putting the food out. “Thank you, honey.” She kisses him after he’s sat down next to her, her lips lingering a little longer than necessary. She hums softly when his hand lands on her thigh, his fingers digging into the soft skin for a moment, like he’s trying to refrain himself from doing more.

“Let’s eat.” He mumbles when she pulls back and he almost groans at the familiar way her pupils dilated with want.

They eat and talk easily, always finding things to discuss and share, but there’s a tension between them, the same tension that had been in that hotel room when she walked in on him in the shower. She could tell that he was nervous but she couldn’t figure out why.

She lasts through dinner and approximately twenty minutes into the movie they decided to watch before her lips find his jaw, slow kisses pressed against his stubble as she laid halfway on top of him already. His respond is almost immediate, his hands tightening on her waist and moving down to grab her ass, his lips on hers as he pushes his tongue against hers.

“Aaron.” She sighs into his mouth and it’s breathy and low and he groans. The sound encourages her and she straddles him fully, her hands on his chest as she looks down at him.

“Em.” He tries to control his body, but the mere thought of having to stop her again felt like an impossibility. He had wanted her for years, the last few weeks had been close to agony, but he didn’t want to hurt her, knew that he probably would because how could he not when no woman had been able to take him before?

“Don’t.” She whispered, her hands fisting his shirt in desperation. “Please don’t.” She grinded on his lap, felt the evidence of his arousal pressing against her through his pants.

“I don’t want to hurt you.” He said quietly, his eyes moving over her face and he could see the realization hitting her.

“You won’t hurt me.” She said softly but she could feel want and desperation clouding her senses, her hips subtly continuing to roll against his.

“No one’s been able to- to take all of me.” He almost stuttered over his words and he was sure Emily’s eyes only darkened, her cheeks flushing pink as she leaned down to press a teasing kiss against his lips.

“I want it all, I want all of you so badly I can’t even think straight.” She whispered, her words falling against his face in soft puffs. “I’ll stop you if it’s too much.” She promises and she can feel his hands gripping her tighter, his eyes boring into hers. “I promise.”

He takes another moment but he can see the desperation on her face, can feel her body pressing into his and his own arousal painstakingly clear.

“Okay.” He nodded and kissed the grin from her lips. “But let’s go upstairs to your bed, more room.” He smirked at the way her eyebrow arched and then all but chased her up the stairs as she hurried up towards the bed.

Emily laughs when he pulls her against his body, immediately going to tug her shirt over her head. She gasped as he licked over her pulse, bit the junction of her neck and shoulder, his hands moving the newly exposed skin until he tugs her nipples between gun-calloused fingers.

“I’ve thought about this since that damn bathroom.” He mumbled against her ear and she shivered.

“You’ve been the one making me wait.” She tries to tease but it packs little punch when she whimpers and arches into his touch. Her fingers move over the buttons on his shirt quickly and she thinks she deserve some credit for not just tearing it open in her haste to get him naked and inside of her.

“No more waiting.” He all but growls and pushes her back onto the bed. His eyes rake over her exposed torso, his fingers soon pulling her shorts off her hips, a smirk on his lips when he realizes she’s not wearing underwear. “Dirty girl.” His voice is so low she shudders from it, his eyes predatory as he crawls between her spread legs.

She tries to sneak a hand between them to get his belt unbuckled but grabs her hand, pins both of them above her head with a low hum of satisfaction as the other move between their bodies, the tip of his finger moving through her wetness gently.

“Gotta get you ready.” He mumbles lowly then kisses the whine from her lips as he pushes one finger inside of her. “So fucking wet, already.”

She blushes, the pink of her cheeks trailing down her chest as her hips buckle into his touch.

“You’ve teased me for weeks.” She huffs and he chuckles at her impatience, his smirk only widening when he pushes a second finger inside of her and curls them causing her to arch into him.

“So tight.” He breathes against her neck and she twists in his grip but he only tightens his hold on her wrists. “You’re going to come all over my hand.” His words are hushed and she can’t do anything but whimper in response. “And then you’re going to take all of my cock, aren’t you?” His hips grind into the bed at the thought, his hesitations gone now that they had gotten this far.

“Yes,” She whines “all of it, please.” Her legs widened as the palm of his hand rubbed against her clit, the pleasure building steadily as he kept curling his thick fingers inside of her, her wetness coating his hand. Her jaw went slack and her head fell back against the bed when he pressed a third finger inside of her, stretching her cunt and making her moan breathlessly.

“That’s it, good girl.” He watched the pleasure reflected on her face, could feel her walls tightening around his fingers.

“Don’t stop.” She gasped as her thighs trembled. Her hips buckled into his hand, her body chasing the release she had craved for weeks. “I’m so close- I- fuck!” Her orgasm ripped through her fast and hard, causing her to gasp for air as her eyes rolled back and her hands fisted above her.

Aaron bit back a groan as she came all over his fingers, her pussy so tight he could barely move his fingers so he focused on pressing the heel of his hand against her clit, drawing out her pleasure until she was whimpering and trembling underneath him. When she finally relaxed he gently let go of her wrists and removed his fingers from inside of her. He licked her wetness off them and waited for her to stop panting with a smug look on his face.

“Aaron,” She breathed as her eyelids fluttered open and she looked up at him, dark eyes, breathing labored, his cock hard and huge as it strained inside his pants. “fuck me.” She sat up so fast he barely registered it and claimed his lips in a kiss, her hands moving to get his belt unbuckled and pants undone. She helped him kick them away and when he finally hovered above her again she wrapped her legs around his hips.

He groaned against her lips as the tip of him nudged between her lips, let himself grind against her for a few moments, coating the underside of his shaft with her. He looked down at her when he pushed his cockhead slowly inside of her, careful not to go too fast.

Emily whimpered at the stretch, his cock easily the biggest she’d ever had inside of her. Her fingers dug into his shoulders as he pressed inch after inch inside of her, the stretch painful but deliciously addictive.

“Don’t fucking stop.” She grunted when he faltered, her legs tightening around him. Her eyes met his and she nodded at his wordless question. “Don’t stop.” She repeated quietly.

“Fuck Em, you’re perfect.” He mumbled against her lips as they kissed messily, his hips pressing into hers until he was fully inside of her. She was clenching around his shaft, trying to accommodate to the stretch, but instead of pushing him away she relished in it.

“Move, Aaron move.” She warned, desperate for him. She could feel every ridge of him, could feel her the slightly painful stretch morph into pleasure when he started to pull back, her walls clinging to him.

He groaned loudly as he started to thrust, slow and long strokes of his hips, almost pulling out before filling her completely over and over again.

“Fucking made for me, made to take my cock.” He mumbled between haste kisses against her neck, his forehead soon landing on her shoulder as he started to fuck her harder.

“Jesus Christ, you’re so fucking big.” She panted as her short nails scratched over his shoulders and arms, leaving evidence of her on his skin. He was hitting into her perfectly, making the heat of a second orgasm build in record time, her moans and whimpers only spurring him on.

“Come on me again, let me feel you squeeze my cock.” He pushed up to kneel between her legs, his thumb finding her clit and rubbing it in circles.

She could barely breathe as he forced another orgasm through her, her back arching and hands fisting the sheets to keep herself grounded as the heat inside of her expanded by every thrust of his hips.

His name fell from her lips like a mantra, the only word she could get out through her loud moans until she was coming again with a cry of pleasure. She could barely hear his grunt as she tightened around him, could barely focus on anything but the earth-shattering pleasure of her orgasm until he was flipping her around and filling her from behind.

“Your cunt is mine.” He growled in her ear as he straddled her thighs and fucked her into the bed, no longer concerned that she wouldn’t be able to take him. “Say it!” He spanked her twice in quick succession and she only pushed her ass up, so he did it again.

“My cunt is yours.” She whined, the slight sting of his hand only making her shiver with want.

“Good girl.” His graveled voice sent tingles down her spine, his hands on either side of her shoulders, keeping her trapped between his strong chest and the soft bed. “Gonna fill you up.”

Emily couldn’t answer, she could barely breathe as he fucked her hard enough to make her body jolt, her clit pushed into the bed by every thrust. She was too sensitive, it was too much, it was perfect. She felt his teeth dig into the back of her neck, felt his ragged breathing against her sweaty skin as he chased his own release.

“Aaron, please…” She wasn’t sure what she was begging for, her mind delirious and hazy, all she could feel was him, all she could think about was him.

“Gonna cum again?” It was rhetorical, his voice smug even as he panted above her, he felt her body tense, felt her walls tighten and Emily nodded.

“Yes, yes, yes I’m so close.” She felt his fingers intertwine with hers as his hips somehow sped up even more, slamming into her hard enough for the bed to quake.

“Come with me.” He grunted in her ear, the strain in his voice palpable. She was still nodding when her orgasm ripped through her, dragging him with her as they strained and moaned together.

Emily felt the heat of his release deep inside of her, making her gasp and then he collapsed beside her exhausted body, his panting harsh as he started to laugh.

“That was amazing.” He pulled her into him, pressed a haste kiss against her forehead and cheeks, then against her lips. “You’re amazing.” He breathed with a smile.

“You are too.” She whispered happily, her hand on his cheek. They fell into a comfortable silence as they let their bodies relax and their breathing returned to normal. After a few minutes she turned to him with a smirk. “You should have just fucked me in that hotel.” She teased and he chuckled.

“I really should have.”  

[kinzis-writing]

Only Exception Pt. 4 | Robert ‘Bob’ Floyd

Summary: After almost two years of being together, Y/N had only met Bob’s family once. Turns out the next holiday her boyfriend had off was Christmas and it just so happens that he has an important question to ask the Mitchell girl and the girl has a surprise for him.

Warning(s): mentions of marriage, mentions of pregnancy, maybe a few cuss words, mentions of alcohol, spending time with in-laws (not really a warning but sometimes it should be.), Mentions of sexual activities, mentions of clingy ex.

Series Masterlist: Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four 

*Not Edited!* 

*Not my Gif! sorry if I wasn’t suppose to use it.* *Also I got the names of Bob’s family from another post I saw on Tumblr. I am not trying to copy and I would definitely give the person credit if I remembered their name!* 

It had been almost two years since the mission that had Y/N on the highest dose of anxiety medication. Since then, Bob hadn’t been on too many suicide missions. That didn’t mean that he got any free time off work, but neither did Y/N. The Mitchell girl had worked at the base for six months and decided not to renew her contract with the navy. She had actually packed up and moved wherever Bob went. That is why she became a travel nurse; the pay was slightly better than a stationed nurse and she had a contract that allowed her to follow her boyfriend around whenever he had to be stationed all over the country. 

“Good morning.” Y/N mumbled as she looked up and noticed Bob checking his phone. The couple knew that they had a flight to catch in order to make it home for Bob’s family’s Christmas. 

“Good morning.” Bob replied sitting his phone down and turning his attention towards his girlfriend. “How’d you sleep?” he asked softly as his hand rubbed up and down y/n’s arm. 

“Amazing.” She mumbled as she sat up slightly to lean over his body, the sheet going with her to keep her naked body hidden from the morning air. “I needed all of that last night.” she mumbled as she leaned closer to his lips. “The shared bath, the massage, the orgasms, just being with you.” she murmured before gently pressing her lips to her boyfriend’s. 

“I’m glad I could help you relax.” He whispered once the two pulled out of their kiss. “We have to get ready if we’re going to make it to the airport on time.” he mumbled. 

Y/N nodded before sitting up fully and getting out of bed. She grabbed her clothes that she laid out the previous night and headed towards the shared bathroom. She would never admit it, but she was nervous. It had been forever since she met his family, and she wasn’t sure if they liked her or not. Given, it was a short visit so his family didn’t really get to know her as in depth as they would have liked. This time the couple would be spending a full week with the Floyd family and that was why she was so anxious. She didn’t have to try to impress them the last time she saw them, now she had to make sure that she didn’t do anything to make his family hate her. 

“Baby, we have to leave in ten minutes.” Bob called out from the bedroom. The man knew that it would be Y/N’s first time not spending Christmas with her father, she had expressed how she was fine with going to visit his family instead of the pair spending the holiday with Penny and Pete. 

“I’m done.” Y/N spoke as she walked out of the bathroom. “so, for anxiety reasons, who all am I going to have to impress?” 

Bob let out a small laugh before racking his brain for everyone that is going to be there for Christmas. “My mom and dad, obviously.” he stated as he was silently making a list. “My sister, My brother, My aunt and uncles, and My sister might let Elaine come.” Bob stated before walking over to his girlfriend and letting a small smile grace his face. “I just want to tell you before we get home, that Elaine and I have some history. It’s nothing serious... but she seems to keep holding on to what happened in high school before I joined the Navy. I gave my sister specific instructions to keep her away the first time you met them because you are important to me.” 

Y/N nodded taking everything he said in, “So what’s different about now?” The Mitchell girl asked as she raised an eyebrow at her boyfriend. 

“The difference is that I know for a fact that nothing can come between us now, I was still a bit insecure in our relationship back then.” He mumbled causing Y/N to smile bigger than she had during the whole conversation. 

“Were you scared to lose me, LT. Floyd?” She teased before kissing his cheek and walking around him to pack her toothbrush that she had just used in the bathroom. 

“Actually, I was.” He admitted before grabbing their bags and heading out to the vehicle. 

** 

The flight was not as long as Y/N expected, and they were in Bob’s hometown. The first time the girl had met his family, she was shocked to know that Bob was a bit country. His family lived on a ranch, and she thought it was beautiful. It seemed so peaceful and quiet, having all that land to do whatever you wanted with. 

“I love this place,” Y/N spoke out as their rental car arrived at the ranch. There were already quite a few cars in the driveway of the house. “It seems so peaceful to be surrounded by nature.” 

Bob was over-the-moon about how well his girlfriend liked where he came from. Given, he knew that she liked nature and there was plenty of it on their property Once the car was in the park, the couple got out and grabbed their items from the trunk. Y/N let Bob walk in front of her because of it being his house and she didn’t feel comfortable just walking in. “Mom, Dad?” Bob yelled once he opened the door and came in without knocking. The chattering in the kitchen halted upon hearing Bob’s voice and the sound of footsteps heading towards the beginning of the room couldn’t be missed. 

“Robby!” A high-pitched voice squealed as Bob got tackled in a hug. That made him have to regain his balance. The strong smell of cotton candy wafted over to Y/N which caused her to crinkle up her nose.

“Elaine, what did I tell you?” Bob’s sister spoke up as she got in sight of what was happening. “He has a girlfriend, if you’re going to act like that just go home.” She spoke up again while rolling her eyes. The younger girl gave Y/N a small apologetic smile before yanking her best friend off her older brother.

“It’s good to see you Bub,” Reagan spoke as she walked up to her older brother and pulled him into a hug. “Nice to see you again, Y/N.” She added as she pulled the girl into a hug. “Ignore Elaine, she’s had her mind set on marrying Robert since they dated in high school.” she whispered before pulling away and giving the couple a smile. 

“Good to have you back, little brother.” Bob’s older brother Sean spoke pulling Bob into a hug and nodding at Y/N with a smile on his face. “Nice to see you again, Y/N. We’ll get to know more about each other during your stay.” He added before heading back into 

“I’ll take our bags to my old room.” Bob spoke as he picked up all the bags. “where’s mom and dad?” he asked his sister as he passed her.

“They went to the store for last minute items that mom forgot she needed.” Reagan spoke as she followed behind Bob but turned into the kitchen instead of going to his old bedroom.

“So your Y/N? The girl that everyone talks so highly about?” Elaine asked like she was trying to size the girl up.

“I guess so.” The Mitchell girl replied before heading in the direction where Bob went.

“Don’t be fooled,” Elaine started causing Y/N to roll her eyes but she stopped to face the desperate girl anyway. “Bob promised me a future too.” She stated before prancing off into the kitchen.

Y/N walked into Bob’s old room where he was putting his clothes away in his old closet. The younger girl was rubbing her temples before plopping down on her boyfriend’s bed. “What’s up?” Bob sighed as he stopped what he was doing and joined his girl on the bed.

“You really did a number on Elaine, huh?” Y/N muttered while she laid her head over on Bob’s shoulder. The jet lag was starting to set in, and the annoying voice of the girl downstairs was making the girl have a headache.

“Believe it or not we weren’t that serious. We dated for like four months and then I graduated and decided to go to the navy. She begged for me to marry her so she could say she was married to someone in the military.” Bob explained as he laid his head over on hers. “I didn’t see a point in marriage. I tried to love her but I couldn’t.”

“What about now?” Y/N asked quietly as her nerves set in. The couple hadn’t really talked much about marriage, but they had painted a picture of their future together. “Your view on marriage, I mean.” She whispered.

“I see us getting married.” He answered softly as his hand grabbed hers “I’ve never loved someone as deeply as I love you. Even if we broke up now, you’ve already ruined me, Y/N.”

Y/N let out a small huff and snort mix, “yeah right, bobby.” she muttered as she glanced up at him and noticed his blue eyes staring a hole through her. “I promise you that I am not that special, there are millions of girls out there better than me.”

“That’s where you’re wrong.” The wso replied as he leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on his girl’s lips. The couple heard the door open, and voices pick up. The shuffling around and sound of grocery bags were enough to make Bob grab Y/N’s hand and head out of his room 

“We noticed the car in the driveway, did Bob and Y/N get here?” A sweet lady’s voice asked as Bob’s siblings started talking amongst themselves.

“We made it about 30 minutes ago.” Bob spoke up as he walked into the kitchen with the Mitchell girl’s hand intertwined with his. Irene and Joe walked over to hug their son before Irene pulled Y/N into her embrace. 

“It’s so great to see you, honey.” Irene smiled as she pulled away from the hug she started. “I hope my son’s been treating you right.” She stated with a knowing look. Some how her statement sounded like a question in a way. 

“He’s been great, perfect, really.” the Mitchell girl spoke as her cheeks got a bit red. She never liked being put on the spot and knowing that this Christmas will determine if Bob’s family likes her was enough to make her double check herself. 

The rest of the evening was spent with Bob and his family catching up. Irene getting to know Y/N before the girl excused herself after dinner and headed to bed. Claiming the Jet lag had gotten ahold of her but she’d be up for more bonding time tomorrow. 

“I can come with you.” Bob offered starting to stand up before she ushered him to sit back down. 

“No, spend time with your family.” Y/N insisted. “You can come to bed later. I’m just going to call my dad and tell him that I made it, before going to sleep.” She assured. 

That’s what the girl did, she went to Bob’s old room and called Pete so he wouldn’t worry from not hearing from the girl. After talking to her father she had laid in bed and slowly drifted off to sleep. Bob had come to bed around 10 pm and carefully climbed in his bed to not wake up his girl. 

*2 Days Later*

Over the last two days the Floyd household had gotten pretty full. It was now Christmas Eve and everyone was getting ready for the evening dinner and then the first round of presents. The second round of presents would come tomorrow morning, something that Bob’s aunt and uncles came up with to encourage their kids to go to bed early. 

“Mrs. Floyd, I can help you if you want to go open presents with your kids.” Y/N offered as she stepped into the kitchen. Bob’s aunt and uncle were trying to settle everyone down. “I can hold the food down until you get done.” she explained a bit better as she walked over to where she was fixing a pre-dinner. Something that Y/N didn’t know about, the fact that they have a big dinner on Christmas and a medium dinner the night before. She wasn’t used to big dinners, honestly. 

“No, Hunny, they can wait. You have to open your presents too.” Bob’s mom told the younger girl as she started on her potatoes. “and please, call me Irene.” 

Y/N was confused about why she would have presents under the tree. She had only met Bob’s family once before this and they only stayed for a day. No one really got to meet her and get to know her. “Bob and I aren’t exchanging gifts until in the morning. So I can really take it off your hands.” She offered again softly. 

Irene gave the girl a smile. “Did you know that you are the first girl that Robert has ever brought home since he joined the navy? He’s told us about a few girlfriends but later he ended up telling us that he didn’t see a future with them.” Y/N’s shocked expression stayed on her face for a moment before she came to her senses. “That tells me that you’re important to my son and so Joe and I bought you a few presents too. We never like anyone to feel left out.” 

The Mitchell girl felt herself blush before glancing through the door into the living room. Bob was in there playing with some of the kids that had showed up this morning. They were his cousins and she heard him apologize not knowing that his entire family would be here and not just the usual. Y/N understood, he was home from the Navy and that wasn’t a common thing. “I love him, a lot.” She spoke up as Bob met her eyes and gave her a smile. She finally turned around towards her boyfriend’s mom again and let Bob go back to what he was doing. “I hate to ask and I trust Bob completely, but what’s the story behind Elaine?” She whispered so no one would risk hearing her. 

Irene huffed a bit before thinking about the problematic girl that Reagan had brought to Christmas this year. The older woman knew that Elaine never stood a chance when Bob was bringing Y/N around his family. Not that she stood a chance anyway. “I don’t even know why Robby dated her in the first place, he wasn’t interested in her. Maybe he just wanted to have some experience before he went out in the world.” Irene huffed making Y/N cringe at the news that those two were probably each other’s first. “They broke up when he joined the navy, she kept on pushing for them to get married since he would be away all the time. He kept telling her that he didn’t want to settle down at that young age. I mean he was freshly 18. He hadn’t really got to experience other relationships.” 

“Was she in love with him or just obsessed?” Y/N asked softly as she helped the older woman put all the food in the rightful place. Dinner was basically done now and they just needed to get the plates and silverware out. 

“Both, i guess. I’m not clear on that.” Irene answered before she turned to the younger girl that she knew held her son’s heart. “He loves you, Y/N. so so much. I can tell by the way he acts around you.” 

Y/N went to answer before a voice interrupted their conversation, “What are you two talking about?” Bob asked softly as he entered the kitchen and went over to his mother and girlfriend. 

Irene sent a wink to the Mitchell girl before leaving the kitchen to go get the rest of the family. Bob raised his eyebrow at his girlfriend as he waited for her to talk. “You need a hair cut, ya know.” Y/N stated as a smile grew on her face. 

“You aren’t going to tell me?” Bob asked before he kissed her cheek. 

“Not a chance, Lt.” The girl laughed as the family started gathering in the kitchen to get ready to eat. 

* 

“I’m sorry my family went all out on those gifts,” Bob sighed as he ran a hand over his face. “I didn’t tell them what you liked so if you don’t like them, then we can do something.” 

“Babe, it’s the thought that counts. But they were lovely.” Y/N honestly wasn’t expecting to receive what she did from the Floyd family. You could tell that they spent the same money on you as they did Bob, which was crazy since he was their son. “I love you, you know.” She told him even though she knew that he knew how she felt.

“I love you.” Bob mumbled before pressing his lips to hers.

**

The couple woke up to the smell of lunch already cooking. Y/N could smell the ham and turkey baking as she looked over at the clock on bobs nightstand. 10:49 lit up in big red letters causing the girl to furrow her eyebrows at how she slept so long. “Bobby.” She whispered as she turned around in his arms so she was facing him. “Babe.” She mumbled again.

“Mhm?” He questioned as he stretched. The sheet falling down his shirtless chest, evidence of their previous activities. “Is it really 10:52?” He asked as his eyes caught the clock.

“That’s why I was trying to wake you.” Y/N mumbled as she got out of bed and put her undergarments back on and grabbed her outfit for Christmas out of her bag. “I have to put on light makeup, I’ll be down in a minute.”

Bob got ready and headed down to his family that was waiting in the kitchen and living room. Y/N quickly put her makeup on and did her hair so she looked decent and left the room. Y/N knew that she needed to talk to Reagan before everyone started opening gifts. Mainly because she needed to know if what she felt was true was accurate.

*

Two pink lines popped up instantly on the test that Y/N was holding. Reagan had taken the girl to the store with a few questions asked along the way. Turns out Irene had forgotten a condiment from the store and needed that as well.

“So?” Reagan mumbled from outside her private bathroom. She had noticed what the Mitchell girls bag held and immediately wanted to know if she was going to be an aunt or not.

Y/N walked out of the bathroom with her hands trembling, “it’s positive.” She spoke, the words sounding foreign to her. She carefully handed the test over to Reagan.

Before either of the girls could say anything else, the Floyd girls bedroom door opened and Sean walked in with Elaine behind him. “Mom’s been looking for you two.” Sean spoke up before looking down in his sisters hand. “Is that?” He asked looking between the two girls.

Reagan and Y/N looked at each other as the Mitchell girl was pleading with her eyes to take the fall. Reagan understood that the other wanted to tell her brother before the rest of his siblings or family. “It’s mine.” Reagan spoke up. “It’s negative.” She added before walking in her bathroom and throwing it away. “Those one night stands getcha sometimes.” She added as she ushered everyone out of the room.

“Thank you.” Y/N whispered as she passed her boyfriends sister.

The four joined the family down in the kitchen. The kids were already eating and other family members had started a line around the kitchen. Bob was nowhere to be found in the kitchen, which made Y/N sneak away from the rest of his family and wonder off to his bedroom.

“No, Natasha. I can’t talk right now.” Bob was whispering when Y/N quietly entered the room. You could tell that he didn’t hear his girlfriend come in. “she doesn’t know, and rooster can’t know either. why? because he’ll kill me.” Bob mumbled. “If either of them knew what we have been doing this last year, rooster would kill me, and I don’t even want to know Y/N’s reaction would be.” the slightly younger girl felt tears well in her eyes. Of course, it was partly her pregnancy maybe, but the fact that Bob sounded suspicious had her worried. She never once doubted him, not in slightest, so why did this all sound like cheating to her. 

“Babe,” Y/N called making herself known. She was hoping that she was masking the worriedness and sadness on her face. “Your mom is wanting us.” 

“Listen, I have to go. Talk to you later.” Bob hung up the phone and walked towards his girlfriend. “Sorry, Bradley called. Apparently, them two are having some troubles.” 

If there was one thing that Y/N Mitchell picked up from Pete, it was how to hide emotions. Something that he had been good at since Goose’s death. “I hope they work it out.” She mumbled as Bob intertwined their hands together before they left his room. 

After everyone ate it was time for presents and that is when Bob and Sean took the gator to go check on some animals. Y/N sat alone in the corner until she was joined by Elaine. The Mitchell girl dreaded what was to come, but she knew that she wouldn’t make a scene. It was Christmas after all. 

“What’s wrong?” Elaine asked softly. The annoying sound in her voice completely gone. “I know, I was bitch earlier... I just wanted to see if Robert was serious. I am sorry for how I acted.” She apologized making Y/N give her a small smile. 

“Even though I probably shouldn’t trust you, I heard a strange conversation between Bobby and a mutual friend of ours. It honestly sounded like they had been cheating on me and my brother with each other.” Y/N mumbled as she watched the kids go crazy over their gifts. 

“The positive pregnancy test in Reagan’s trash can has nothing to do with your feelings?” Elaine asked softly and quietly. Y/N’s eyes widen slightly as she turned away from the girl. “Don’t worry. I won’t tell anyone.” 

“Reagan told you it was hers.” Y/N stated as she felt the nerves act up and her hands get clammy. 

“I have been out with Reagan everywhere; we are best friends after all. She hasn’t hooked up since her ex-boyfriend. That was way too long for her to want to take a test.” the younger girl explained. 

“I haven’t told him yet.” Y/N mumbled as she played with her fingers. 

“I know. If it helps, Robert is head over heels for you. Whatever you heard had to be a mistake. He’s always been loyal to everyone, even if he wasn’t happy.” She whispered as the two boys entered the room. 

The two girls gave each other a smile as Sean asked to speak with Elaine for a moment. Bob had joined his girlfriend in the spot that his ex-girlfriend had left. 

“What was that about?” Bob asked softly as he grabbed your hand. 

“She was apologizing.” Y/N said before turning towards Bob. “We need to talk.” 

Bob nodded before he stood up and offered his hand for Y/N. She grabbed his hand and stood up. “I want to take you somewhere.” With that the couple made their way out of the house and to Joe’s gator that was sitting outside. “I know you said that you love how peaceful it is here, so I want to show you around for a bit.” Bob said as he helped her up in the UTV. 

The couple made their way away from the ranch house. Y/n honestly thought that he would stop and show all of the animals that he took care of as a kid and so on. That’s not what he was doing at all, and she realized it once they passed all the animals and headed towards a trail in the wood lining. She figured now was as good as any to ease into the natasha talk. She didn’t want to come straight out and accuse him of cheating, it wouldn’t be like either of them. “It’s crazy, isn’t it?” she asked softly as she took in the beautiful scenery. 

“what is?” Bob asked softly as he drove carefully on the trail. 

“How we’ve been together for so long.” Y/N stated as she looked down at her freshly polished finger nails. “I almost figured you and Natasha would have eventually ended up together.” she whispered but loud enough for Bob to hear her. 

The Floyd boy let out a laugh, “She’s like another sister. I am head over heels in love with you, Y/N/N. I already told you that you have ruined me and i meant that.” 

Y/N felt a bit at ease, but she knew that her worry would still be there until she figured out why he was calling Natasha in secret. It was still a bit of an uneasy feeling. “I have something I really need to tell you-” Y/N started only to cut herself off when the trail ended at what seemed to be a hunting cabin. The cabin had lights hung up around it and the porch was decorated beautifully. 

“I want to give you a tour and then you can let me know if you’d like to stay out here tonight.” Bob spoke before getting out of the gator and then heading towards the other side to help his girl out. ‘I thought we could use some alone time.” 

Y/n gave her boyfriend a smile before waiting for him to open the cabin door. It wasn’t very big, but you could tell that it was made for a hunting party or maybe even birthday parties for the Floyd’s. 

“This is the living room space, it isn’t much but the couch does pull out into a bed.” He explained. “Then the kitchen is over here, it isn’t anything fancy, but I already stocked it up with your favorite snacks.” He blushed a bit making y/n squeeze his hand. “In this room is an extra bathroom and this one is the extra bedroom. bunk beds. And then the master bedroom.” He stated as Y/n felt his hands start to sweat a bit. “Open it.” he urged softly. 

Y/N gave him a look before grabbing the door handle and twisting the doorknob. Pushing the door open, a small gasp left her lips as her hand came to cover her mouth. She felt her eyes watering up as Bob stepped in front of her slightly. The room was covered in rose peddles, had blackout curtains hung up so the candles and fairy lights were the only lights in the room. Mini letter lights spelled out “Marry Me?” on the bedside table. 

“Y/N, I have loved you since you took notice of me in the hard deck. I thought you were beautiful when you came over to greet Bradley and I wasn’t expecting this to go anywhere because you are way out of my league. How i managed to get you and keep you is out of my knowledge. I love you so much and i know that I want to be with you forever. Will you please do me the honor of marrying me?” Bob asked. 

Y/N could sense his nerves and she knew there was a lot more that he wanted to say. She knew what her answer was even if he didn’t get everything he wanted to say out in the open. “of course, Bobby.” She mumbled as tears came down her face. Bob slipped the shiny diamond ring on her finger before standing up and pulling her in for a kiss. “I love you so much.” 

“You still have a few more presents at the house, so we should probably get going.” Bob mentioned after he placed another kiss on his fiancee’s lips. 

“Were you serious about staying here tonight?” She asked bob as he nodded, ‘because I would love to celebrate alone with you tonight.” she mumbled. 

The ride back to the ranch house was silent. The two were just enjoying each other’s peaceful company before the Floyd household would start celebrating. Y/N had no idea that one of Bob’s Christmas presents were waiting for her back at the ranch house to congratulate her. Of course, Bob asked Maverick for permission before he proposed. He asked him months before he even asked, he wanted the time to be perfect and he knew the Floyd hunting cabin would be the perfect place. That’s when he knew it would be around Christmas time.

“I’m ready to go spend the night with you.” Y/N whined slightly as her left hand made its way to the back of Bob’s head as they pulled up to the house.

“You can in about three hours.” Bob mumbled. He then grabbed her hand and gave it a kiss before getting out and helping her out of the gator. “Your next present is right through that door.” He mumbled kissing her head.

Y/N gave her fiancé a small smile while shaking her head. “You’re something else, Floyd.” She stated as she walked into the house first. The multiple shouts of “congratulations!” And balloons flying everywhere made the girl jump. Before she noticed what bob was talking about.

“Congratulations, sweetheart.” The older man said as he opened his arms for his daughter to come give him a welcoming hug. “How did my little girl get grown up so fast.?” He mumbled with his voice growing in sadness.

“Time flies.” Y/N mumbled pulling away from Maverick. “I’ll always be your little girl.” She added as she wiped the tears from her face and her father did the same. Maverick never liked showing emotion in front of anyone and over the years he had slowly been okay with showing emotion in front of Penny, Y/N, and Bradley.

“I know you will.” He nodded before Bradley pulled the girl into a hug.

“Brownie, don’t mess up the hair.” Y/N groaned as she shoved her brother figure off of her playfully.

“Here I thought I’d be married before you.” He shook his head.

“Grow a pair and maybe you still can.” Y/N winked as she playfully hit him. The girl then looked over and saw Natasha beside Bradley wearing a smile on her face. She nodded at the girl, still feeling uneasy about the situation earlier. She quickly turned around and wrapped her arms around bob. “Thank you so much. It means a lot that you’d ask my dad and brother to fly out here.”

“Anything for you.” He mumbled before pulling her into a kiss. “I love you so much.”

*a few hours later*

After opening presents from everyone, the families all made their way to bed. Bradley, Natasha, and Maverick was staying in a guest loft inside an extra barn that the Floyd’s had used for their stable men. With Joe being retired, they didn’t need to hire anyone to help with animals anymore so the loft was left unused and was cleaned up for Y/N’s family to come stay in.

Y/N and bob had made their way to the cabin about 30 minutes ago, where Bob had immediately drawn the couple a bath to unwind. That’s where they were, in a soaker tub (which was a new upgrade) and relaxing against one another. The bubbles covered their bodies as Y/N’s back laid against Bob’s chest.

“So, did you propose to me in the room you lost your virginity in? Cause if so, very classy Lt. Floyd.” Y/N joked with a laugh and intertwined her left hand with his hand. His fingers playing with the ring on her finger.

“No, you were actually only the third.” He admitted honestly. Most people had the talk before getting engaged but it didn’t bother the couple. They knew that they were each other’s forever and that’s what mattered.

“Elaine?” She asked expectantly.

“Never did.” Bob spoke softly. “I wasn’t very popular and I wasn’t the one that people went for. One night stands were never my thing. I was 21 when it happened. It was with someone I thought I loved, but now I know that I didn’t know what love was. I’ve never loved anyone the way I love you, that’s how I know you’re my forever.”

Y/N turned her face up so she could look at her handsome man. “I lost mine at 18.” She mumbled before placing a kiss on his jaw. “It was someone I almost married, he was in the army, turns out he knocked up another girl while I was engaged to him so, that’s why that ended.”

Bob’s hand came up and rubbed over her jaw line as he lowered his head and placed a soft kiss on her lips. “That’ll never happen with me.” He promised.

“I have to ask you something,” y/N whispered so she wouldn’t cause tension. “I heard you on the phone with Natasha, earlier and you lied to me and said it was Bradley.” she started. She could see bob’s gears shifting in his head, trying to see where this was going. “You said that Bradley would kill you and that you wouldn’t wanna see my reaction if I found out what you two were doing.”

“Did you think I was cheating on you?” He asked carefully as he noticed panic in Y/N’s eyes. “Baby, it was Natasha helping me buy things for the proposal and ring. I told her not to tell Bradley that I asked for her help instead of his for ring shopping. I also didn’t wanna see your reaction if you found the ring before I was ready because I really wanted it to be special.”

Y/N gave him a small smile, “it was my anxiety, it wasn’t me in general. I know you’d never do that.”

The two carried on with conversation before getting out of the bath and headed towards the shower to clean themselves. After finishing showering the two went to their bags that were placed on the king bed in the cabin.

“Bobby,” y/n called as she tucked her towel so it would stay up on its own. “I have one more present for you, I just didn’t want to give it to you in front of everyone.”

Bob gave his girl a look before carefully grabbing the gift box out of her hand. It wasn’t too big but it wasn’t super small either. It was neatly decorated with his name scribbled on top. “You didn’t have to get me anything else.”

“Just open it.” She urged with a smile. She could feel the tears coming while she waited for him.

He sat down on the end of the bed with y/n standing beside of him. He carefully opened the box and read the top before his eyes widen and he noticed tue white stick with a blue lid. A red plus sign on a test, and pink two lines on the other stick. The box contained a letter board reading “I can’t wait to meet you daddy.” And the lid of the box, which he read first said, “to the best daddy ever.”

Y/N wanted to get a pair of booties or a onesie to put in their but she didn’t get a chance too. She wanted to wait and make it special but today was special just as well. “Are you serious?” Bob asked with tears in his eyes. “Am I gonna be a dad?”

Y/N nodded as her own tears started spilling, “you’re gonna be a daddy.” She whispered as Bob stood up and pulled her into a hug. “I just found out today and the only one that knows is Reagan. I thought we could wait and tell everyone after our first ultrasound to make sure everything is okay.”

“Baby, you’ve just given the best gift ever.” He mumbled as he rocked the couple back and forth.

“I love you forever, Robert Floyd.”

“I love you, Y/N Floyd, forever and always.”

| The last part! It took so long because I had so many other problems but it’s all good. I have a Jake “Hangman” series coming so… if you like him then you can check my profile because it should be up in the next few days! It could have ended better but it is what it is.|

[desertdollranch]

Hi, I am Amy from Adelaide!

"I love sport especially Netball, Soccer and Football. But when I grow up I’m going to be an actress. I think that would be so cool!"

"Where we live we are too far away from the country and too far away from the city. Stuck in the suburbs."

"Well, I guess the park is something."

"There are netball courts, and goals for soccer and football there."

"Oh! And I’m part of the junior netball team! We’re called the Pink Galahs. I practice all the time, so that one day I’ll be really good. I like to practice everything I do over and over again till it’s perfect.

"I live with my mum, dad and my two little sisters. They are twins and can be a bit annoying sometimes, but they are small and cute so they get away with it. I’m the big sister. That means I get my own room – finally. I had to share with the twins for ages.

"My house is kinda small and I’ve lived in it my entire life. We live next door to an empty lot, and nobody ever goes there except me and my friends when they visit."

"There are a few trees and the grass is really long. Dad says it’s probably filled with snakes, so I always whack the ground with a stick when I walk through the grass."

"Emily told me that scares them away. She should know because she hates snakes, and her big brother told her so it must be trues."

"Me and my friends built a cubby house there, and it’s our secret place. Not even the twins know about it, because if they did they’d want to play there with us all the time and that would be annoying. The empty lot is the most interesting thing at my house."

(--from Australian Girl's profile of Amy)

[livvyofthelake]

breaking my silence on what i’m reading (for this book. not for the last ones) because i decided i need to complain properly i’m so over speaking in stupid redacted code. and. ok i’m not Complaining. ok i have a lovers soul. i’m just saying that sometimes a book series needs to end. they can’t all go on forever and ever and spawn multiple spin off series and books and bad fucking disney plus adaptations. yeah it’s the gay percy jackson book. i don’t careeee about percy jackson but i used to in 8th grade so i’m listening to this book 🙄 and. anyway can i complain. not a question i was obviously going to do that anyway. so as you should have guessed, i am NOT caught up on this franchise, nor do i wish to be. i read the first one of those trials of apollo books when it came out and i didn’t care for it and i had grown out of the franchise by then and i never kept up with it after that. and then i found out via the internet that jason died and i won’t ever forgive that man for that. and then i found out via the internet that jason was apparently a fandom hated character. which was insane to me because he’s literally never done anything wrong… he’s a nice young man what’s so wrong with that….. you hated him for his kind realness and glasses swag. fuck you for real. anyway. um clearly back when i cared about this franchise jason was a favorite of mine. and i won’t get into it but to this day one of my favorite fanfics i’ve ever read was this jason and piper au where he was a teen pop star (sounds ridiculous putting it like that but dude just trust me). now i read that at age 14 and never again so perhaps i’m not qualified to make a quality judgement but that’s not what i said, i didn’t say it was good i said it was my favorite… anyway all that to say. i was a jason girl!!!!! i do not want to read a book where he dies!!! you will never catch me catching up on that franchise!!! well except that i’ll read THIS book apparently. anyway my complaint is that this book has already referenced multiple events of books i have not read (which i’m powering through) and now we’re talking about jason being dead. and i got sad about it. ok i might actually need to read a wiki fandom website page summary of events or something. or i could just pick up the vibes. i’m smart i can pick up the vibes. what ever. idk why i didn’t want to say i started this book you were gonna find out eventually. actually in hindsight i think i even told you all i was planning to read it. and now you’re gonna get an extra special exclusive sentence for the besties who have read this far. this reads like jegulus fanfic lowkey. ok peace and love on planet earth !!!

[aroaceconfessions]

I am aroace but I’m in a relationship with an allo person that pretty much resembles your average romantic/sexual relationship from the outside. I see it as a committed long-term relationship where we both love each other, just not in the same way which is OK with both of us. Everyone they know thinks we’re perfect together and should get married asap. Everything is going great except I think I’m at least a little romance repulsed. Seeing couples out in the wild with even minor PDA like hand holding or thinking about how other people view my relationship makes me feel uncomfortable and a bit sick.

This is a problem when anything comes up where mentioning my partner would be relevant, because my options are a) downplay their existence and feel like I’m betraying them because they apparently talk about me frequently to their friends or b) come out to people and have to explain my complicated feelings towards romance in public. This came up today when a few people from my college class asked what I was doing for the weekend and I decided to mention I was going to celebrate my partner’s birthday. The girl who asked immediately got very excited and started asking if they went to this college, what they do, etc. and to see a picture. It should not have been a big deal but I’ve felt kind of gross about it all day. I would start wearing aroace pins around but my parents are very conservative and that would cause more problems than it would fix.

I would never want to be anything but aroace, but I am really worried about my long-term feelings. I want my partner to feel that they are important to me and talk about how cool they are (because they are), but I can’t sometimes because I know what other people are thinking and it just feels wrong, and if I try to talk about it it just sounds like I hate them, which is wrong. I should probably see a therapist to help me figure this out, but then comes the problem of finding an aro-friendly therapist in my area who won’t relate it to my subpar people skills or low empathy. Anyway thanks for letting me vent, love you guys (platonically ofc)

Submitted March 30, 2023

[yukidragon]

Sunny Day Jack - Beautiful

Sapphic thoughts got me like whoa last night, and I wrote out a short, sweet, and lightly spicy little number between Funshine Jill and Alice. We’re kind of overdue for some Funshine Jill fics aren’t we?

Don’t worry, Jack x 1st person narrator is going to get his turn soon. It’s just that story is running away from me and will take a little longer. Sometimes my muse runs away with me in directions I never expected.

Warning - suggestive content and discussions of body image issues.

@channydraws @earthgirlaesthetic @sai-of-the-7-stars @cheriihoney @illary-kore @okamiliqueur

...

Funshine Jill was everything anyone could want in a woman. She had a pretty face, voluptuous curves accenting a trim and fit body, and a sunny personality that lit up a room whenever she walked in.

Alice adored Jill. The time they spent together was priceless. She never felt so loved and accepted before. Their days were filled with laughter and sunshine.

Except when Alice was reminded of her pudgy body. Next to the star of the SunnyTime Crew Show, she was positively frumpy. She was fat, and ugly. It was a truth she heard so many times from her peers while growing up, and nothing she did could ever change that. The negative comments she got whenever a photo of her appeared online just reinforced that truth. She hated looking at herself in the mirror sometimes.

That was why Alice felt absolutely overwhelmed whenever Jill would shower her with praise, especially when she wasn’t expecting it.

“Oh, sunshine, you’re so cute,” Jill cooed as she wrapped her strong arms around her sunshine, spooning the smaller woman from behind. “Do you know just how lovely and sweet you are?” She sighed happily. “How did I get so lucky?”

Alice could only manage a squeak in response, her heartbeat spiking out of control as her girlfriend cuddled her close. The fact that she could even call Jill her girlfriend was almost overwhelming in and of itself.

“Alice,” Jill practically purred in her lover’s ear. “My sunshine. My beautiful, sweet, perfect sunshine.” She kissed Alice’s neck, sending a shiver through the shorter girl. “I love you so much.” Her smile grew as Alice moved to make room for her, allowing her to leave a trail of kisses along her soft skin. “Such a pretty girl you are…You’re the most beautiful person in the world, do you know that?”

Alice shivered again as her lover’s words and those hot wet kisses stoked a fire in her core. “Th-that’s not true,” she muttered, almost reflexively.

Jill raised her head a bit to look at her sunshine’s face, though Alice couldn’t manage to look back at her. She reoriented the two of them so that they faced each other, trying to coax Alice into meeting her gaze. “Alice. Have I ever lied to you?”

“No…,” Alice reluctantly admitted, her face burning as their eyes met. Jill’s warm brown eyes were molten, filled with a hunger that made her grip her girlfriend just a little tighter. “But you’re so much more beautiful than me.”

“Aww,” Jill cooed as a blush colored her cheeks a shade of pink to rival the markings on her face. “You’re so sweet, sunspot. I’m glad you think I’m beautiful, but you’re wrong about me being more beautiful than you are. The truth is that you’re far more beautiful than I am.”

Alice shook her head. “I-it’s not just me. Anyone would think you’re more beautiful. Just look at you!” She gestured at the taller woman emphatically. “You’re gorgeous! You’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen in my life.”

“Oh, Alice,” Jill sighed softly as she pulled Alice closer. “That’s really sweet of you to say so, but you really have no idea just how beautiful you are. Anyone who says otherwise isn’t worth listening to.” She stroked her lover’s cheek softly as she leaned back a bit to gaze deeply into those pretty blue eyes that captured her heart. “It doesn’t matter what anyone thinks about us. What matters is how we feel about each other… how we make each other feel.”

“Jill…,” Alice said softly, but she didn’t have time to say more before she found herself lost in a kiss that made her blood sizzle. It was hard to think of anything when Jill gently invaded her mouth, their tongues twining in a lurid dance as the taller woman started to caress her body.

“Don’t think about anyone else,” Jill said breathlessly once the kiss ended. “Let me show you just how beautiful you really are.”

Alice nodded, shivering a little as Jill then proceeded to show love to the parts of her that were softest and made her feel most insecure, as well as every other inch of her body. She made sure to return the favor.

[thevulpinehero1]

Not sure where to put this, but I recently decided to transcribe the entire unhinged yandere rant from Adachi and Shimamura after rereading the series, so here's 1.5k words of a likeable if emotionally unstable character in a mostly fluffy slice of life romcom doing a double backflip off the deep end.

 “Adachi, slow down –”

“I don’t want you having fun without me! Or holding hands with some other girl – just me! I want you to be with me! I wanted to take you to a festival myself! I wanted to be there while you were smiling and having fun! That’s what I wanted! My head hurts so much because

I’ve been thinking about you nonstop and losing my mind and… I was waiting for you to call! Why don’t you ever call me or start a conversation? Why does it always have to be me? Don’t you… don’t you care about me even a little? Nothing? Not even a bit? Just friends? Just regular friends? I don’t want to be regular friends – just one step above that! That’s all I want… Shimamura, what do you want me to do? Well? Shimamura, are you listening? Really listen. How do you feel when you hear my voice? Do you feel something? I want you to feel something, anything, even just comfort. That’s what I want. Is that so wrong, Shimamura?! Because it’s you! You’re the one I want! I don’t want anyone else or need anyone else – I only need you! Is it really so selfish to want one measly step? Just one! I don’t care about anyone else – I don’t want them around – so why do you? Just come find me and be with me and stay with me and don’t leave! I don’t want anyone being with you except me. I want to be there with you, so just let me!

Who even is she? I don’t know her. I don’t want you to turn into someone I don’t know! I want to know everything about you; I don’t want you to keep anything from me. I hate not knowing because it hurts! It hurts so much, Shimamura… I’d ask you to hang out, but I wanted to take you to a festival. I wanted to go with you, but you went with her! Are you hanging out with her? Where are you right now? Are you with her, Shimamura? Shimamura, are you listening? It’s like I’ve been talking to a brick wall this whole time. Normally you talk a lot more. Why? What’s different? Am I different? Yeah, I must be. I can tell. But I want to know… I want to know about you so bad, it’s messing me up. I don’t want to be apart from you… I want to be with you all the time… I don’t care where we are as long as we’re together… But I haven’t seen you and I miss you but if we met up right now I think I’d cry… I’m already crying… I keep wondering who she is and what she is to you… Are you still listening? Would you rather be with her than with me? Am I not good enough? What part of me isn’t good enough? I’ll work on it, so just tell me… I’ll fix it, I swear, so please just tell me… I want to know… You’re really special to me, you know that? Even if someone else was exactly like you in every way – but they’re not, so it doesn’t matter! Just forget all that! It has to be you! I want us to get along, but it’s just… I want to talk about more than just this, but I can’t stop thinking about it… I mean, you were smiling! I don’t want you smiling at anyone who isn’t me! It sucks, you know? Don’t you ever feel like that? Have you ever had a crush? Do you have feelings for someone? Or anyone at all? Do you know what love is? Sometimes I get scared, wondering why you stay with me. I mean, we’re friends, aren’t we? I think we’re at least friends. Do you think we’re friends? Does it… Hhhnn… Shimamura, say something. Let me hear your voice. Talk about me… I want you to understand me better than… better than anyone. I want to know you, and I want you to know me. I want you to be my number one, and I want to be yours… but… whenever something bad happens, I feel like I’m gonna break down… because it never feels like… I don’t know… like you cherish me? ‘Cherish’ is a weird word, but… but I want you to cherish me! I want to be cherished! Don’t treat me the same as everyone else – just a tiny bit special is all! Do you ever even think about me? We haven’t seen each other all summer, but… have you thought about me at least once? Because I’ve been thinking about you the whole time! Just you! Nothing but you! So I want you to… think about me, too… Not that we’re the same… I know I’m different… but I still keep hoping… I try to stop it, but… even when you… betray me like this… I still want to talk to you on the phone… But now look at how it’s turned out… and there’s nothing I can do… I don’t know what to do, Shimamura. Shimamura? The call’s still connected, right?

We’re still connected? But you’re so far away, and I miss you. I want to see you in person, and see you smile… I want you to stroke my hair and tell me it’ll be okay… Where are you right now? Where? Are you with someone? Is it her? Who is she? I keep asking you – is it that big of a secret? Are you close with her? Closer than me and you? I don’t want that! I don’t want anyone to be closer than me! I don’t want that… Tell me I’m wrong! I need to hear it! Because I think about you all the time! Is that not enough? Not good enough? If you need more than this, then what do I have to do? I don’t know the answer! I keep thinking about it, but I only ever screw up, so just tell me what you want me to be and I’ll try my best, I promise. Truth is, I don’t really care about the other girl. The real problem is that I miss you and I need to make a change, Shimamura. I get that, really… Hey, Shimamura, what are you thinking right now? Am I being weird? Acting crazy? Tell me about you. Talk to me. Chase me. I’m the one who always has to do the work! Me, me, me! This is what happens when the friendship is a one-way street! I’m falling apart, so I need you to meet me in the middle. Do you hate me now? You don’t hate me, do you? Please don’t hate me. I don’t want that. I don’t want you to hate me. I want – I want you to love me. Someone please love me… but I want it to be you… Do you hate me? Like my mom does? Are you going to stop talking to me now? Pretend I’m invisible? What do you want me to say? How do I get you to notice me? Grow wings and fly? Jump up and down? Hold your hand? Even if I tried, nothing ever seems to work… so what was I supposed to do all this time? How do I make it so nobody… Shimamura, please, I want to hear your voice… Say something… Reassure me… I just don’t want you to smile at anyone else. Smile at me! ME! My head hurts… and my stomach hurts… I’ve been agonising over this for so long – why didn’t you ever call me? Why didn’t you tell me? I want to know… I want to know about you… My feelings are all jumbled up now and I keep talking in circles, but I can’t help it. I mean, you’re all I ever think about, Shimamura… You’re all I’ve ever cared about and you’re all I ever will care about. I cherish you… I want to cherish you. I can’t not cherish you… so please just notice that I exist, okay?! I need you to notice me, Shimamura… I don’t want you thinking about other girls. I don’t want that… Are you going to hang out with her again? Where will you go with her? Downtown? To somewhere I’ve already been with you?! Don’t do that! Don’t replace me! Don’t replace our memories together! Will it be any different if you go with her? Will you see different things? No, no, NO! I don’t want that either! You have to be with me, and we have to share the same things… Feel the same things… You’re acting so weird! No, I know. I’m the one being weird.

But I can’t help it… I can’t get you out of my head… You’re always there, Shimamura… Shimamura… Shima...mura… Hhhnn...nnn...hic… Shimamura… Shimamura… Hhh...ghhck...nng… Shimamura? I want… Shimamura… Shimamura… Shimamura… All I want is you… That’s all I want… so please… I’m begging you, Shimamura… Please, just… Shimamura…”

(I actually had to add a paragraph spacers there because of Tumblr's formatting rules, but originally it was a full rant, uninterrupted by paragraphs)

[screampied]

well, if it helps, both your layout and your writing always makes me foam in the mouth. i’ve been following you for quite sometime, even before i started to be post here, and you’ve never failed to make me go aaaahhh, pretty!!!!!

wait a carrie fic would go so hard, actually, pls do!!! ONG halloween is my favorite time of the year (and we don’t celebrate it in my country), but i love the vibes of spending the night with horror movies. what’s your favorite btw? mine is freddy vs jason, and i like the first conjuring a lot, but fucking hate lorraine and ed (the real ones)

spine tattoos are so fucking cool, except this one girl i went to high school with, she made one and fucks sake i’m not one to judge others tattoos (physically can’t because mine are weird af) but she made all the wrong choices one could do, she is a terrible person so let’s just say it was karma, i guess.

how many piercings you have? i have 5, want to do my lips and eyebrow until next year, and more tattoos, as well.

i want to, really do, but i’m not comfortable with my drawings yet, you see when you are born in a family of artists and you have a sibling that is a tattoo artist you kinda keep comparing and going “i fucking suck at this” but at least free tattoos for moi :)

anyways i yapped a lot, the more i talk the more embarrassed i’ll be when i come clean on who i am, totally worth it tho.

nut anon

nutty baebae ur so sweet ily :( YOUVE BEEN FOLLOWING MEEEE for a long time omg, just know i appreciate you and im glad we’re chattin together <3 i always look forward to ur asks heh

MAYBBEEEE. im gonna rewatch carrie actually so the inspo can spark 🤌 same, i loooove halloween too ugh best season. speaking of, i wanna try pumpkin pie this year. kinda basic but i love any scream movie (except 5 bc fuck 5) and i also rly love classics like halloween, psycho, and texas chainsaw massacre. unpopular opinion but i really liked the 2022 reboot 🌞

i have seven piercings! mostly on my ears, a belly one, and two near my hip dips. & that’s valid tho !!! 🫂 but i bet ur super amazing n talented! oughhh i want a eyebrow / lip piercing so bad i always found them attractive

[simmerdowndee]

WINDENBURG YEARS S2EP7 FOUR

After the party, everyone came back to see our new home. Noah has already seen the home, seeing he helped Theo with the cribs. After the tour, everyone left except Noah and Laura. They really wanted to talk to me before they left. Noah doesn't want me to be upset with Laura because she was just honoring his wishes (which I can understand). He sincerely apologized to me and Theo. He does want us to remain open though, as he claims she’s different now and just wants to keep the peace. I told Noah that I am happy he found someone he loves. If he's genuinely happy, I am happy for him. He promises that if this doesn't work out and he moves on to someone knew, I will be the first person to know. Serves him right, damn near ruining my baby shower.  Theo and I are now getting ready for bed. It's been a hell of a day. 

Dakota: You want to try my new face mask with me?

Theo: Of course babe.

Dakota: It's green tea. I need something to soothe me after today. 

Theo: That was a mess. 

Dakota: Wow, your face is so smooth and clear. 

Theo: Mom’s genes. 

Dakota: You know what bothered me the most about the whole thing?

Theo: What?

Dakota: That he felt he couldn't just tell me. Regardless of how I felt about her, I wouldn't have just denounced their relationship. 

Dakota: I hate being the last one to know. It doesn’t feel good….

Theo: I feel like some of that stems from me….

Theo: I’m sorry. 

Dakota: Babe, you cannot continue to beat yourself up about something that happened forever ago. 

Dakota: We are married, with two girls on the way. I’m not blaming you. 

Theo: I know, but sometimes I just feel bad.

Dakota: Dont. 

Dakota: I’m very happy with our life. 

Dakota: I’m happy with you. 

Dakota: I love you, so so much. 

Theo: I love you too babe. 

Dakota: But let’s not dwell on this either. Noah and Laura both apologized. I’m going to move on. 

Theo: Good. 

Theo: Now that we’re at home and you can't commit a crime, I can tell you that she tried flirting with me at the party.

Dakota: I knew she wasn't completely changed *eye rolls*

Dakota: She better not hurt him. I’ll drop these babies and drop her ass. 

Theo: *Laughs*

Theo: Your mama is so violent, yes she is.

Dakota: *Laughs*

I think the lesson here for everyone is that I should NEVER be the last one to know anything or all hell will break loose. I did have a good time for the most part at the shower. By the way, regarding the gift competition, I’d say Noah won this round; Only because Theo was very excited. Laura got me the expensive stroller I talked about from my registry.. Noah got them both custom made power wheels with their names on the license plate. Theo is so excited to play with those.  Just a few more weeks and our girls will be here!

[cloudlessly-light]

Find me where the wild things are (chapter 1/5)

A/N: For one of my favorites @sapphoe-sun zodiac sign month so she’s getting gifts in the form of fics! Happy Cancer month to you pretty girl! So happy we both got raging daddy issues!

(I am aware that this is NOT everyone's thing so if it's not, please don't read it, this is the only warning I'll give!)

Summary:  AU story. Emily is just shy of 18 when she meets her mother’s new boyfriend, Aaron Hotchner. He’s 30 years older, he’s brooding, he’s kind of boring, he’s gorgeous. And she was screwed Word Count: 1,9k Rating: Explicit Warnings: Smut, power dynamics, oral, dirty talk, daddy kink, daddy issues galore, restraints, praise kink, additional tags to be added if needed in later chapters

Emily met her stepfather as her mother called him the summer before she turned 18. She looks at Aaron Hotchner with a raised eyebrow and a scoff because he had obviously no idea what he was getting himself into. After her parent’s divorce there had been a handful of men that Elizabeth had introduced to her daughter, all of them taking off running in less than a year, either too intimidated by a powerful woman or getting tired of Elizabeth’s travels and schedule. Emily didn’t expect anything different from this one. 

Except she underestimated Aaron Hotchner. She realized quickly that this man, was different. He didn’t talk much but there was something about him that made Emily pause, something stoic and intriguing about him. He works almost as much as her mother but instead of traveling all over the world he travels within the country, works from DC when he’s not. Maybe that’s why it works between them, because they both were busy and knew that kind of life came with strings. To her surprise he stays, moves in and puts a ring on her mother’s finger and when she packs up to go to college a year later he’s there helping her load boxes into her car. It’s one of the few times she get’s to see how strong he is, carrying heavy boxes like they weigh nothing and she wonders what his large hands would feel like wrapping around her waist.

There was always tension between her and Aaron, had been from the start but he was never unkind. He was determined, stiff, keeping her at a detached distance but she came to find that maybe that was what was best, after all she shouldn’t be fantasizing about her stepdad, she knew that, even if she sometimes had to remind herself of that fact.

After she has places the last box in her car and he closes the trunk, ready to start college, to get away she turns to him, hoping that he doesn’t notice the slight blush on her cheeks.

“Thanks for helping me carry those.” She says and he shrugs halfheartedly.

“Not a problem. Drive safe.”

She avoids his gaze after a somewhat awkward goodbye and tries to blame the fact that she shivers when he hugs her is because of the slight wind, not actually him and his big hands and dark eyes. It couldn’t be him, he was her stepfather.  

When she’s at Yale her mother seems adamant to try and keep some sort of contact even though they never had before. ‘It was different now, you’re an adult’ Elizabeth would say if Emily asked about it. So they get into the habit of skyping once a month and as much as Emily hates it, she does it without fighting.

“How are you Emily?” Her mother asks as Aaron sits beside her on the couch.

“I’m fine, mother.” She says with a sigh. “Everything good with you?” It’s awkward and tense, there always seemed to be when Aaron was on the call, her attraction to him not lessening but after almost a year at college she had learned to accept the fact instead of denying it.

“We’re good.” Elizabeth says and looks to her husband who nods. “Busy with planning the wedding and all that.”

“That’s great mother.” She didn’t want to think about the wedding that was occurring in just a couple of weeks, about the fact that she’d have to go be a bridesmaid just to appease Elizabeth.

“How are your studies?” Aaron asks, as if he can tell that she’s uncomfortable with the subject. She realizes that he probably is, his job making it easy for him to read people. She sees the way he sits straight, always imposing even through a screen and she bites her bottom lip to distract herself from his dark gaze.

“It’s all going good…” She starts but then Elizabeth stands up abruptly as her assistant asks about a call and she leaves with a quick goodbye. Emily rolls her eyes and clears her throat as Aaron simply looks at her, dark eyes and slightly furrowed eyebrows and she forces a laugh. “Like I said, it’s going well.”

Aaron nods as he looks at her through the screen and clenches his jaw as she sighs softly.

“Well, I guess we can do this later, your mom will probably be a while.” He mumbles quietly and Emily chuckles sarcastically.

“Yeah, what else is new.” She swallows hard as his eyes narrow a little and she feels a tingle down her spine. “I should go, going to meet a friend for dinner.” It’s not a lie, but he doesn’t need to know that it was still another hour before she had to leave.

“Goodbye, Emily.” He says curtly, always an aloofness to him that Emily found more attractive than she should.

“See you at the wedding. Bye.” She hangs up the call and shuts her laptop quickly. As she’s getting ready can’t help but wonder what his face would look like lost in pleasure. What her name would sound like as she pulled pleasure from his body.

 She comes back for the summer before starting her second year of college. Elizabeth would be gone and Emily took advantage of the fact that she could be home without the pressure of her mother, their relationship, although better than it had been in years, still strained to say the least. What she hadn’t counted on however, was the fact that Aaron would stay in DC. They were married now and Emily hated that her mother had found and married a man that she herself felt so drawn to.

The first few days go pretty smoothly as she sets back into her old room, intent to spend the summer reading and relaxing and spending her nights out dancing. Aaron was working long hours so she hadn’t seen much of him, nothing but a short nod in acknowledgement from him if they saw each other in the kitchen. He knew that she was not a morning person and she was thankful that he respected that. Her mother never did.

She’s been back in DC for almost a week when she’s getting ready to go out for drinks, her fake ID in her purse and a glass of wine beside her on the vanity as she is finishing up her makeup. There’s a knock on the door and she turns just as Aaron opens it. 

“Are you going out?” He asks as she stands, his eyes moving quickly over her exposed legs, the hem of her dress ending high on her thigh and the heels looking dangerous. He averts his gaze instantly and tries not to notice that the pink lipstick she’s wearing is making her eyes look even darker than usual.

“Uhm, clearly?” She refrains from rolling her eyes but the sarcasm is clear. “I told you that you can’t just walk into my room.”

His eyebrows narrow at her response but he doesn’t reprimand her, it was still sometimes hard to know where he stood with Emily. He wasn’t her dad, far from it he barely knew her, but spending the summer in the same house as her was starting to blur the line of where they stood as she clearly had no respect for him, and he still expected some level of respect from her.

“I was going to see if you were having dinner here tonight, but I’ll take that as a no.” His eyes landed on the glass of wine on her desk. “I think I’ll take that.” He said and gestured to the glass. 

“Good one.” She scoffed and crossed her arms over her chest, enhancing her cleavage as she did. 

“You’re not 21, give it to me.” He walked a couple of steps closer and held his hand out. “Now, Emily.”

“Yeah right,” She snatched the glass of the table and took a sip just to spite him while she felt her thighs clench in response to his authoritative tone. “Mother doesn’t mind.” It wasn’t a lie, but it wasn’t completely true either. Elizabeth knew she drank but Emily had never actually had a drink in front of her mother. 

“That doesn’t matter, she’s not here I am and I’m deciding what goes and what doesn’t while you’re here.” He reached his hand out for the glass, and Emily frowned at him. “This is my house, you’re going to live by my rules.”

“It’s not your house.” She chuckled dryly and his eyes flashed with something dark, something dangerous and she felt the familiar tingle down her spine. They were caught in a stare-down, a battle of wills and she had to force herself not to squirm as he walked another couple of steps closer.  

“Fine.” She finally huffed and gave him the mostly empty glass before grabbing her purse from her bed. She started to walk out but turned back to him the doorway, and that’s when she saw it. His eyes, roaming over her, a split second of want in them as his jaw clenched and she knew that she didn’t imagine the way he had just looked at her. He looked at her like she wanted to look at him.

“Don’t wait up.” She smirked at him, wordlessly letting him know that he’d been caught and she saw his eyes widen slightly. She was out the door and halfway down the stairs when he called after her and then his footsteps came up behind her. But she was fast, even in her heels and she turned in the doorway.

“I said, don’t wait up.”  

He stared at the closed door for long moments, his mind reeling. He was sure he didn’t miss that look on her face, was sure that instead of her shying away from his clear want, she leaned into it. He knew that he had to put a stop to it before it even began, but how could he when all he felt was aching desire every time he looked at her?

It was going to be a long summer, he thought. 

 Aaron didn’t want to think about Emily the way that he did, didn’t want to acknowledge things he had thought about a girl 30 years younger than himself, about a girl that was the daughter of his wife. He had ignored that he was almost taken back by her beauty the first time he had met her. Then she would open her mouth and she was stubborn, disrespectful and for reasons unbeknown to him, he found himself thinking about her at the most unacceptable times. He shouldn’t find her attractive, he shouldn’t find that his first instinct when she was flat out rude was that he wanted to grab her and shut her up in the most inappropriate ways.

Then she comes home to stay at the house and he has to deal with her without Elizabeth there to remind him that he shouldn’t stare at her 20 year old daughter. And then there were the outfits, short dresses and skirts, tops that barely covered her, bikinis so tiny he wondered why she bothered to wear them at all. 

He knew that he was in trouble, but Emily Prentiss was a menace but he already felt like he’d be willing to risk it all.  

[jaidasstuff]

“Best Friends” - Chris Motionless

Summary: confessing his feelings for his best friend

It was a Friday evening, Chris and I met had up at 6 pm, like every week. You could say that it was a kind of tradition between us and usually we did it every week, except for when Chris was on tour with his band. his band is called motionless in white and to be honest i’m quite a big fan girl. Him and I have been friends for basically a decade now and we both consider us best friends, at least i think we do. Lately he's been acting strange around me but I guess it's just some odd phase going on. don’t get me wrong we’re both acting strange sometimes but this time it’s something else, i can tell. I know he's a pretty busy person since he's famous and all, but I really miss the old Chris, it's a bit selfish i know that but I wish he would've never gotten this excessively famous. Things changed between the two of us these past weeks and I hate that. I'm a person that always despised change, because of my social anxiety. although it’s not just that, if I'm being honest I fell for him a while ago but never told him anyway. I won't consider it now, since there's a lot he could lose from being in a relationship at this point. chris loves his fans and they would be furious if they knew, or at least i’m fearing they will. "Y/N!" He loudly said, confused as to why i was zoning out, it got me back to reality real quick. "Oh gosh sorry, I was just lost in my own thoughts" I apologized, feeling guilty that I didn't listen to what he was actually saying. i didn’t even know what topic he was speaking about.. Gosh I must've been out of it for quite some time. "I guessed that already, Y/N" he replied smirking at me which made me roll my eyes, that little fucker always being sarcastic, which only made him even more attractive to me "but seriously we need to talk now" he said and sat up since we were both laying on his black king sized bed. "Sure what's wrong?" I asked nervously since I didn't really know what this actually was about. To be honest I was scared that he'd say something along the lines ‘i noticed your little crush on me, can’t have that so i’ll be going now’ but you never know until you do talk about it and maybe it’s just my anxiety speaking up."So I've been meaning to talk to you about something or well uh rather tell you about something" he stuttered, not looking at me but the movie that was muted and still on. "What's this about Chris? You know you can always talk to me if something is wrong or you need someone, we're best friends" I reassured him, giving him a sweet comforting smile. At least I tried to hide my nervousness which seemed to work at least a bit. Wow am i good at hiding stuff?! "I know Y/N but that's exactly what i'm talking about it.. that's the actual problem!" Chris sighed and i was confused as hell. What was the fucking problem? Us being best friends? I really couldn't think about any reason why he'd say something like that as a reply to what i just said. "Huh? I don't quite understand what the problem or well our problem is. Aren't we fine? Are you mad at me? Did I do something wrong? at least tell me what i did before you stop being friends with me?" I asked him shaking my head, i’m getting even more nervous now. "No that's not what I meant at all!" He sighed and i knew he was getting frustrated by now "then tell me!" I replied, now looking at my best friend. I really felt bad seeing him like this but what was I supposed to do when I literally don't know what's going on.

"I fell for you, Y/N that's our problem!" He yelled and got up, trying to walk away from the situation. No that's definitely not gonna happen, he better not try to really walk away now! now I got up as fast as possible and got in front of him. Chris was very tall compared to me, it's one of my favorite things about this man. his height is something I've always loved. There are too many things i like about my best friend, it's ridiculous by now. if someone asked me to name one thing about him, i wouldn't be able to stop myself from listing everything, not just one thing. "Please don't walk away now! You know we have a rule about this" i told him as calm as i could, looking at his troubled face. Chris and me only have one fucking rule in our friendship, but it's the most important rule for me, he agreed to it because he knows why it's so important. We would never leave while fighting, it basically means we don't go to sleep while still mad at each other or walk away, anything like that practically. I'm so thankful that this promise was always kept and he never left me, so him trying to means it's troubling him a lot more than i thought. "I know, I'm sorry angel. i really didn't mean to do that, right now it’s just stressing me out so much" he softly whispered and looked down at me, he earned a small nod to reassure him that i'm not actually mad at him. "Also I do love you too you know that, right?" I admitted shyly trying to avoid looking at the man that i dearly loved. "What?" He asked, in disbelief, so I'm gonna prove it to him. I got on my tip toes and kissed him genuinely, at first he tensed up a bit since he usually doesn’t like sudden skin ship but he ended up kissing me back. that’s a good sign! It felt like fireworks exploding in my whole fucking body, i loved this already. "so what does that make us now?" i asked chris after a while of us kissing each other. "that means you, Y/N, are my girlfriend now" he replied cockily while pulling me down onto his bed "wanna watch another movie? that one was actually boring, wouldn't you agree?" he said making me laugh at his silly behavior "yes let’s watch another one! which one do you want to watch?" i asked him looking at my boyfriend. chris smiled sweetly at me while putting on some movie before replying "let's watch your favorite movie the emperor's new groove". gosh i really loved this guy!

[eli-t-spoon]

WIP preview

Since it's pride month, I wanted to highlight one of the characters in my current WIP. Briar is a demigirl, who uses she/they pronouns, and this is her introduction in the book.

“Mind if I sit here? Everyone else is paired up with a friend, except old Silas back there, and he likes to conjure up his own little buddies,” the latest arrival said, gesturing at the seat next to her.

Bethany looked around the small room at the others waiting. There were only seven of them here, including herself, and a wide range of ages. Oisin waved to her from the other side of the room, where she was sitting with another young girl. An older man, somewhere in his fifties from the look of it, had taken a seat in the back corner and buried his nose in a book called ‘The Beginners Guide to Conjuring’, while a pair of teenagers were giggling to themselves in the front row.

“Sure, go ahead. I wouldn’t mind some company myself,” Bethany said.

The person nodded. “First lesson? Don’t worry, Darian’s a really good teacher,” they said. “I’m Briar, twenty-eight, she/they. It’s nice to meet you…?”

“Bethany,” she said. “Have you been learning magic for long?”

“Only a couple of weeks, but I’m still stuck on the theory. There’s something blocking me from actually casting anything, we’re not sure if it’s a mental block or something else, but I can still learn the ideas behind it all.”

Bethany nodded. “Sounds like a good plan. I have no idea if I’m even going to be able to do that,” she said. “I was stuck in basic education the whole time, they never let me near a magic book."

Briar made a sympathetic noise. “Ooh, that had to suck. Which hold were you in?”

“Balacai, and it did suck. I was the only one in the class over the age of ten, everyone thought I was some kind of idiot,” Bethany said. “Where were you from?”

“I’m from Koranat, from what I’ve heard it’s one of the more relaxed holds. Since I couldn’t get the hang of magic, they offered to help me find somewhere out here that I might fit in better, and here I am.” Briar was quiet for a moment. “Balacai, that rings a bell. Has something happened there recently that might have been passed around other holds?”

Bethany thought back. “Not that I know of, but I don’t really know much about what goes on in other strongholds. I guess you might have heard us mentioned in history class or something.”

“That might be it. We’ll have to compare notes sometime, see what we’ve been missing,” Briar said. They pulled out a small mirror and fluffed at the short half of their hair. “Do you think this style suits me? I wasn’t sure whether to have it long or short, so I went with half of each.”

Bethany looked at them properly. The right side of Briar’s hair was long, dark and straight, with bright pink streaks all the way down, while the left half was bleached almost white and cropped short. “Both look good. It’s definitely a unique style,” she said.

Briar laughed. “Usually when someone says that it means they hate it.” They clicked the mirror shut and winked.

“Oh, no, I didn’t mean it like that, I just meant I’ve never seen that kind of style before and it’s different,” Bethany tried to explain.