#I’m not Normal enough for ‘irl’ people if that makes sense

[astralarias]

I’m so lonely I’m gonna die. Nvm I’m fine. I’m so lonely I’m gonna die. Nvm I’m fine. I’m so lonely I’m gonna die. Nvm I’m fi—

[rubylovessharks]

Hiiiii! I just stumbled across your blog and I’m in love. (Me rn-😍😍😍) Anywayssss, would you be willing to do some sfw/nsfw head-cannons for the seven demon brothers from obey me? If not all seven Asmo, Beel, Belfie, and Levi are my faves! Thanks so much in advance if you don’t want to do this I completely understand and my feelings won’t be hurt.

Please remember to drink plenty of water and get plenty of rest. With luv, Madzzz. 💜💜💜

^^^^Btw this is me manifesting you see this^^^^

omgg ofc i can!! (try-) alsoo thanks for the whishes, staying healthy is super important, so you should too! :D <3 gn!mc x the demon bros ;) considering the fact that you havent specified the gender of the mc im doing gender natural if thats ok- ok! so! sfw and nsfw hcs!!

so sorry if this wont be what you were hoping :(

Lucifer

🩷sfw🩷

can we all agree that this guy when he gets drunk he becomes clingy af?

he just sends you a bunch of messages telling you to come over

and when you do come over he's just laying in bed there, eyes half closed and face red.

anyway you get the point. when Lucifer gets drunk he wants to cuddle you for a few good hours

drunk times aside- normally your actual dates are more active.

by which I mean either you two talk about random stuff or Lucifer takes you somewhere

❤️nsfw❤️

the only time I think Luci will be willing to get fucked is when he's drunk. but you do need his consent waaay beforehand. as you should irl too

other then that he doms all the time.

I feel like he'd be into bdsm

i kinda think he'll be into rope stuff. he seems like the type who'd want to tie you up, but also in a pretty way ;)

also spanking.

Mammon

🩷sfw🩷

the typa guy who'd give you gifts saying he "coincidently" found it(asifhewasntlookingforthebestthingtogiveyou) and the moment someone sees you with it and asks about it and you say that it's from your boyfriend he becomes the happiest ever <3

also is really into pda, like he won't admit it- but he NEEDS to hold your hand in public. how else will people know you are his???

Mams is also really into kisses. like any kisses really- forehead kisses, cheek kisses, hand kisses, nose kisses ANY KISSES

unfraternally he'll sometimes come to you to ask to borrow money.... but he'll get you back

with a kiss on the cheek and the possibility of taking your walking privilege...

❤️nsfw❤️

switch, leaning to sub

the last thing I said about your walking privilege is true. Mammon thinks he just needs to fuck you hard enough as payback for letting him borrow some money

and with the stamina he has, it's totally enough to fuck your brains out ;)

I think he's into cuffs, won't matter if it's on him or on you, but if they go on his hands it has to be roleplay

what roleplay? cop stuff :3

Mams acts as an inmate or robber who just got caught, and you as a cop who is arresting him or punishing him

kinky stuff ya know?

I feel like he'd be into getting his cock milked as you ride him for hours upon hours

maybe has a choking kink? towards him I mean- he's too scared to choke you to death.. but there is a possibility that he'll choke you when he fucks you out of jealousy

Leviathan

🩷sfw🩷

gaming dates <3

canonically Levi isn't really one to like going outside so it makes sense that he'd prefer to hang in his or your room (mostly in his)

it'll take him some time until he'll actually be comfortable to be all touchy and physical.

but i like to think that even then he'd be more simple and not all clingy

aquarium dates ♡ once in a while, when he's actually ready for the outside world

he finds aquarium dates to be a little bit fun once or twice a year

but yeah it's mostly just gaming dates and dates where you watch anime and such-

AND cosplay dates

mostly ruri cosplay dates, but still cosplay dates as a whole ♡

❤️nsfw❤️

like with physical touch it'll take him a long time until he'll be ready for sex

he'll be all blushy and, sorry, kinda sweaty when sex is mentioned.

he's just so not used to it :(

LEVI IS A SUB.

well switch technically- but he's more in the being fucked out of his mind position then the fucking you out of your mind position

but how do you get him in a domy mood? probably either by making him jealous, or in a more competitive mood.

what do i mean? well just egg him on, tell him that you can totally win this game round, and the next one, and the next one. well you gotta win for it to actually work- but still. the more you do it the more upset he is

it doesn't work all the time, but he has a bit of a competitive side ;)

he's a kinda kinky guy, he'd probs be into things like tons of praise but with a mix of humiliation (to both sides)

like if you were to tell him that he's been soo good for you and what he does is probably sit on the floor while his mouth and face is being used for you to get off

Satan

🩷sfw🩷

reading dates :D

can happen in his/your room, but can also happen out in a cat cafe or a park outside :3

and if you aren't a person who likes to read Satan is willing to read for you once in a while

you and him will definitely take in cats without Lucifer's agreement, you'll just keep them in Satan's room or your's and take care of them there.

you, him and Belphie are out to get Luci. and if it's just the two of you without Belphegor it feels like a date idea for Satan :p

from time to time you'll hear Satan talk on and on about different research stuff that he's into for the time being

and you'll tots be hearing this guy talk a lot about his detective books

❤️nsfw❤️

cockwarming while Satan reads.

is there more to say? like do ya'll need an explanation????

this is getting in a more kinky-noteverydaykinks territory but can we agree that Satan is into collars?

it just seems right idk. like it won't matter to him who's wearing it- he likes wearing them, and seeing them on his s/o

another switch, i mean i like to think that most of them are switches.. but like I'll still say it every time.

leaning into dom territory, but he won't mind being fucked into oblivion

angry sex. who knows what might've started it but if he needs to take out his anger on something your hole will be number 1 (ofc he you say you dont want to he wont- everything is consensual)

also into roleplay stuff, probs petplay. kinky stuff

Asmodeus

🩷sfw🩷

first thing I'm going to say is painting nails dates. spa dates. any beauty care dates will happen.

and you can't escape it :)

he WILL post you on any of his social medias with captions that say things like "look at my lover ♡ aren't they the cutest!?" :3

I think Asmo will be the type of person who'd like to get gifts as a receiving love language, and as a giving love language it'll be physical touch

i feel like as a whole he likes being physical, I mean have you seen this guy?? but I think he feels more special when you buy or make him gifts <3

❤️nsfw❤️

THE KINKIEST GUY EVER

like he literally is the avatar of lust. like doesn't that make him kinky enough??????

switch and it's literally is 50/50 with sub and dom with him

toys. toys all the way. when he doms he uses toys, when he subs he uses toys. toys are something he really likes

of course there will be times when he doesn't want to use them and really get more lovey dovey ♡

during sex you two may switch between sub and dom at least once.

Beelzebub

🩷sfw🩷

shares with you anything he wants to eat ♡

it'll probably be half eaten if he already has his hands on it but he tries his best to control himself so you'd at least have even the smallest of bites <3

he sometimes accidentally bites you, like not super hard and painful but there are times it leaves a mark-

can and will give you piggyback rides if you ask him

when you two go to a restaurant and in typical Beelzebub fashion he eats too much and the bill is huge he'll tell you he'll be the one paying, even for your share.

COOKING DATES!!!!!!!!

sure he might eat half of the ingredients- but he'll try his best to not eat it all so you two can have a finished product ♡

❤️nsfw❤️

I know everyone says this but it's true. this guy eats you out like a pro.

and it doesn't matter if you have a pussy, a cock or anything else- it doesn't matter. he knows how to put his mouth to good use. and he can go FOR HOURS and not get tired. it's like his favorite thing♡

we all know this man is packing. probably has the biggest dick of them all(maybe diavolo's is bigger who wants to help me measure :))

and he's so sweet when you try to take him ♡ ♡ ♡

he'll tell you things like "You can do it" "I know..it is pretty big...but you took it before!" with such a sweet smile you know he says this not to make fun of you, but because he actually thinks you can take his huge cock ♡

Beel will proooobably lose control and kinda start fucking you like an animal in heat after a few while of fucking

but after that he does such nice aftercare!

Belphegor

🩷sfw🩷

naps all the way :3

you are the pillow. you can't say anything but yes.

I like to think that he has dreams about you, and if he dreams of something that he's actually willing to do in real life he'll ask you if you'd like to do it :D

when you two do go out he likes to hold your hand, for more then just pda. he might fall asleep while standing and walking from time to time, so you can notice if he fell asleep or not.

do you know what I think you two might do? go to bed stores and try out the beds :3

❤️nsfw❤️

sadistic fuck. (affectionate)

he's a dom, even when he's half asleep.

I think he'd kinda tell you to ride him even when it looks like he's about to fall asleep, and the moment you stop he's immediately awake telling you to continue

will degrade you, like he's real mean

he does like the idea of chocking you but ya know.. might take a while....probs a few years-

well anything too dangerous will take a few years until he feels like he can actually do anything to you..

he's into anything that can and will humiliate you

he'd be into somnophilia but towards himself

maybe towards you? with consent ofc but mostly towards himself

why? cuz he can and will fall asleep during sex. and if it's something like you riding him he'd be totally fine with you still going even when he falls asleep.

[mattscoquette]

my experience meeting the triplets/ going to their tour ౨ৎ ⋆.˚ ✧

first i just wanna say, i am so so so insanely grateful to have attended both tours and to have met them twice. i’m not trying to brag or anything but a lot of people ask me and i figured it be easier for me to make one post rather than answer inbox questions a million times that get lost.

2/5/23 - let’s trip tour

i met the triplets for the first time during the let’s trip tour. i vividly remember being at work when the tickets went on sale and i was gonna go w my coworker but things fell thru and i went alone, and that alr was nerve wrecking enough. but i met a lot of cool people on line and everyone was super friendly. i got the pre-show small talk package, so i got to meet them before i saw them on stage. i also wrote them letters (idk if they ever opened them) but it was honestly fate when i stopped to drop them off in the present bin because there was a group of three girls in front of me so i wasn’t super rushed when i was meeting each triplet.

i met chris first! i was soooooo nervous but the second i started talking it all went away. the first thing i noticed was how small they are irl and immediately after was how fucking good chris smelled 😭 he was soo sweet. i told him how i loved watching their videos w my mom and that she was his favorite. i can’t rlly remember what else i talked about him with, and i tried to screen record my camera but i didn’t turn the mic on so i lost all the audio 😭😭

next was matttttt the loml. i was immediately soo comfortable around him, i was literally just talking like a normal conversation without even thinking. i asked him how the tour was going and he told me he was sad it was ending soon. and then i told him how one of my best friends is a triplet and we talked about that, he told me his dad is a twin and that everyone thinks he nick and chris are identical but they aren’t. he was so sweet and really listen to what you have to say, i had such a nice time talking with him.

when i met nick my auto pilot like shut off and i froze 😭😭 i literally out loud was like “i am so nervous” and he was so sweet about it, he hugged me a second time and was like “no don’t be it’s okay!” lmfaoo. i didn’t get to talk to him as long but i remember him telling me it was super nice to meet me after.

on line for the red carpet, i met madi! she was just walking around the venue, and she was over by me and i asked for a photo. she was soo sweet (and so pretty irl omfg). i didn’t wait in line for the red carpet for very long, i got merch, and then i did my photo w them :,) tbh i honestly don’t lovee it because i rlly don’t look the best in it lolol. bur ill pull thru and show u all. but this was back when u got to pick ur own poses and we all did hearts with one another (idk if that makes sense) and i stood next to my mannn😛😛

i look so diff now like i actually hate how i look when i met them but that’s beside the point 😭😭 but they all looked sooooo good. also for reference im about 5’3-5’4ish.

show-wise, it was sm more fun than the versus tour tbh. i got to see yung pleit perform and he opened w miss me and everyone was going insaneeeee. i was literally like one person behind the baracade, i was so close it was so so so cool. the triplets went on for maybe twenty minutes but they read the question i asked them which was so cool. and mary lou, jimmy, justin, and nate were all at my show!! they were on the balcony above the stage and were waving to us it was so cute. i had such a fun time at this show i wish i could go back

10/9/23 - the versus tour

this show was soooooo so so so special to me. i was going through a really really hard time. and this show made me so happy and gave me such a nice break from everything. this show wasn’t as close as the first show so i went to with my mom (she was team orange lol). i also got to meet some old online friends i made which was so nice :,) like the last tour, i got pre-show small talk. my only complaint though is that when i bought tickets backstage wasn’t available, some friends and i called the venue and they told us there was no backstage , but there actually was :( but im still sooooo grateful i got to meet them!

the order was the same as last time- chris, matt, then nick. i was so nervous about meeting them again, i literally almost forgot to take a pic w chris LMFAO. he was so sweet, he asked me how i was doing, if i was excited, all that good stuff. this time was a lot more rushed than the first, but i still got a decent amount of time with each triplet. i also got them each to draw me my fav angel numbers to get tattooed, i still haven’t gotten it yet but when i do i’ll post it :)

i was sooo nervous to meet matt again lmfao but as soon as i went up to him i felt fine. i complemented his outfit (he had on his white eeyore jacket 😭😭 so cute) and we took our picture and when i was leaving he told me it was rlly nice to meet me :,)) he is sooooooo pretty irl like his eyes r so blue and his earrings r so sparkly i was literally like in a trance. omfg.

nick was soo sweet he gave me such a big hug and was so smiley and asked how i was doing, same as chris. he also rested his head on mine when we took our pic togetherrr. he was so so kind.

my show was a monday so they had uploaded a podcast while i was on line for the red carpet, so i listened to that a bit while waiting. this tour we had pre-picked poses, but i did the hearts again. i stood in between matt and chris, and i said i wanted hearts and matt immediately did half the heart and put his arm around me so we did the heart tgth 😭😭

lowk not a fan of this pic either but :( so sweet. i love them so much. i also wore platform shoes this time lol so that gave me some height.

the show was so good! so much more entertaining than what the triplets did the first time. it was very engaging, and so fun to watch. lowk bitter i didn’t get picked to be matt’s teammate but we move. anyway. each challenge was so fun, me and my friend knew almost all the trivia questions they did 😭😭 and jenga was sooo stressful to watch lmfao it was so close the whole time, i think we had one of the longest jenga shows of the tour lmfao. chris ended up winning bc matt dropped the jenga tower and they were both tied. it was such a fun experience im so grateful to have gone !

© mattscoquette

[tachiguin]

Is Tanizaki really more evil than Dazai?

I don’t think I’ve ever written a longer meta about “Tanizaki is the person who comes the closest to “evil” among all the Detective Agency employees”, which is something Asagiri mentions at a BSD Exposition, but I do have a lot of thoughts about it. I think the most popular reaction to this statement is ‘more than Dazai?!’ which is fair. Because Dazai is a former Port Mafia executive and has a rap sheet longer than Tetchou’s saber. But I think there’s multiple angles at which you can tackle this: The qualifier being “among all the [ADA] employees”, what makes someone more evil than another, how you define ‘evil’. 

The easiest way to justify this if you firmly believe that Dazai is more evil than Tanizaki is to separate PM!Dazai from ADA!Dazai. Say that PM!Dazai is more evil than ADA!Tanizaki, who is more evil than ADA!Dazai, who after Oda’s death promised to be on the side that saves people. Current Dazai is making an active effort to be less evil than he may have the potential to be, and that counts for something. Whereas Tanizaki knowingly throws all pretenses of being a good guy out the window as soon as someone he cares for is put in danger. 

Though, I raise a further question: if PM!Dazai is more evil than ADA!Tanizaki, who is more evil than ADA!Dazai, would PM!Tanizaki be more or less evil than PM!Dazai? Perhaps we will get our answer if Tanizaki does end up transferring to the Port Mafia.

However, I also don’t necessarily want to shut down this discussion by just saying “Well Dazai is in the ADA now, he was definitely more evil when he was a PM executive”. It feels like a cop-out. Rather, I think that depending on how you define ‘evil’, you can definitely argue that Tanizaki is far worse than Dazai. Is it evil to be indifferent to committing evil acts, or is it evil to situationally want to commit evil acts? Is it evil to be aware of one’s moral faults, or is it evil to think oneself innocent—normal, even—as one is willing to do any atrocity under the right circumstances. Honestly, we can argue morality and try to assign quantitative values to “evil” back and forth, all day until we die. There’s really no “correct” answer here. But for the point I’m making that’s good enough. Depending on how you view “evil”, you could easily see how Tanizaki is closer to evil than Dazai, who never really saw a real difference between evil and good.

I think one of the most ‘evil’ things about Tanizaki is that he thinks he’s normal, with his whole chest. He’s the first person to suggest murder as a solution to a problem, and he just doesn’t understand why everyone else shows reluctance.

He seems to have some vague awareness that his morality is somewhat less than that of his coworkers, as in the Light Novel he thinks that he “[has] a mediocre sense of justice]”, but he mostly equates this to just being cowardly and timid, rather than the full blown self-awareness than we see in Dazai, who is able to articulate to Oda that he feels there is no real difference between the side of “good” and the side of “evil”, and embraces this knowingly.

I also think that to a degree its Asagiri's nihilism at play. Because BSD is a world full of characters with shifty morals, and characters like Kunikida who cling to their principles like a lifeline are a minority. So in a way? Tanizaki is the most ordinary guy.

And he’s not evil on purpose, or performative about it (like other characters, to a certain degree, like Fyodor) it’s completely ingrained into him. It's just that he isn’t a good person, but he’s not necessarily invested in being a bad person either. He simply cares about himself and the people within his circle, to the point that he doesn’t care what he has to do for their sake. I think this is also something that appears subtly in his irl counterpart’s works: the idea of love/affection as evil. Tanizaki-sensei used this kind of oxymoron a lot: ugliness and beauty, hurt and pleasure, destruction and love.

"[his] self-immolation, [...] with which he changed his whole life in an instant, turning the ugly into the beautiful, [...] it was very nearly the act of a saint." — Tanizaki Jun'ichirou, A Portrait of Shunkin

"Little by little, the loathsomeness changed into an unfathomable beauty." — Tanizaki Jun'ichirou, A Fool's Love (Naomi)

"It was evil incarnate, without any question, and at the same time it was all the beauty of her body and spirit elevated to its highest level." — Tanizaki Jun'ichirou, A Fool's Love (Naomi)

Maybe that’s why Tanizaki is closer to evil than Dazai. Because ‘evil’ is second nature to Tanizaki, in part because it goes hand and hand with love and care.

I don’t think Tanizaki’s “evil” could be reasoned with, in the same way you might be able to convince Dazai or Mori not to do something awful. Because Dazai’s evil is ruled by indifference, and Mori’s evil is ruled by logic, they’re both less personally invested in their evil acts than Tanizaki, whose evil is ruled by emotion. You might be able to give Mori a reason why the more logical approach would be to not commit a homicide, but the same reasoning would never work on Tanizaki, because his evil is coming from a more fundamental desire to commit the morally corrupt action, rather than seeing it as a means to an end. In this regard, you could easily see how Tanizaki is closer to evil.

Still, returning to my point about how nebulous the definition of “evil” is—you could also argue that it’s more evil to coldly commit evil acts as a means to an end, as opposed to doing evil acts out of love or affection for another person. However, I think it’s clear why Asagiri made a statement that implied Tanizaki to be more morally corrupt than Dazai, regardless of whether you agree or not.

[sepublic]

The Rapture, the Day of Unity, and Happily Ever After

I wouldn’t be surprised if the upper echelons of the coven regime weren’t concerned with being sustainable, because they were privy before the public was to the Day of Unity, which was itself essentially one big rapture where everyone goes to a perfect utopia! They don’t have to worry about the world they’ve left behind, they just need to last long enough to make it to this endpoint, like Belos talking about how he only needs to ‘live long enough to see this through’.

So it must’ve been quite a shock, realizing that’s not it; There’s nothing for all their hard work. They have to go back to their lives as normal, but knowing it’s eternal in the sense of worrying about living life until it naturally ends for them, and making society run ahead of them for the next to pick up. Now people have to do their jobs in creating an actual functioning society instead of loftily dreaming of a fantasy, which is of course topical to the show’s themes about being beholden to the world and people around you as you make dreams practical.

I can see a comparison between the apathy that came from the Day of Unity and how a lot of rich, powerful folk —especially the ones running fossil fuel companies— don’t care about destroying the Earth and its environment, because they’ll be dead before it gets bad enough that the devastation reaches them in their cushy little suites. On the Day of Unity, Emira’s frustrations over her mother only caring about money feel in a similar vein, it all hearkens back to the same problem with these CEOs where their personal, material enjoyment is the only priority.

And this makes me think of the rapture comparison too; It comes from the Evangelicals, who are the descendants of the Puritans. I can see the writers playing with how Marx called religion the opiate of the masses; The idea that Christianity was often exploited by the upper class against the lower class to justify their suffering. The idea was that if you were poor, you didn’t need to worry about improving your material world because as long as you remained pious and faithful, you’d eventually inherit a heavenly afterlife.

Thus, working-class Christians were made complacent, believing their mortal suffering was just temporary and even a test for their ascension. Whether you think they actually got a heavenly afterlife is an entirely separate real-life theological discussion, but the point was that it was an excuse by those in power to avoid being held accountable in making the living world actually tolerable for everyone else, and everyone else would not hold them to that standard because they thought it didn’t matter anyway.

So I can see the Day of Unity functioning exactly like that, in fact I’m pretty sure it just did onscreen because we see wild witches such as the Demon Hunters accept the coven bindings because for whatever losses they suffer, eventually the Titan will make it all worth it right? And this framing of the Titan as an abstract God who will take you to an abstract universe is interesting; We know tangibly that other worlds exist of course, but in the context of the show, the utopia bit is a lie.

And if we apply it to real life, much how the show calls out IRL witch hunters (and its fictional one, because TOH’s fictional witches warranted nothing for their existence) as insincere… I do remember a college lecture in things like Animism or cosmocentric belief systems; They saw the ‘spirits’ as not existing on a separate plane, but our own. There was no afterlife or heaven, it was all in this world, people live on when they die and break down and are consumed by other beings, that sort of thing.

The practices of wild magic and the worship of the Titan seem to follow in a similar vein to these and Animism; The Titan is sacred and her body has its own life reborn as the environment, but she’s also undeniably dead, as pointed out by a Deadwardian witch. Eda stresses learning from the natural environment around you for magic, their ‘god’ is a mortal being and also their tangible world. The magic comes via glyphs in nature, as well as the magic in everything that witches get their own magic from. There IS something resembling an afterlife in-universe but we never get to see it, the beliefs of wild magic seem to be at odds with Belos’ Christian colonialism, and again its promise of a rapture and a separate, abstract God and utopia.

Point is; There is no universe after this, or at least that’s not how wild witches treat it. The focus is on the here and now and making this world last, and making it last for the future generations that will take your place. And this defiance of a rapture in favor of life always going on makes me think of how Dana hates the term Happily Ever After, for the implications of everything just being over and that’s it. That’s the end. All the problems are solved now, there is no story left to tell.

I can’t say this was intentional on a conscious level or otherwise, but I do have to draw a connection between this and how TOH’s ending was in response to this critique; Life keeps going on, the protagonists have to keep fixing the Boiling Isles, and then keep it going even if it IS fixed. They just undid coven bindings and King found his first glyph. The Archivists are still out there. The protagonists don’t get an eternal unambiguous happy ending where there’s nothing left to do, they don’t get a ‘heavenly afterlife’ as one could call it, and that’s good!

From a meta standpoint, you can see how it encourages fans to write more stories, to be inspired to keep it going, and it’s another way Dana made the shortening work in the show’s favor. Dana said back in 2020 that she encourages fans to build off of things, as she did as a kid with her own shows, she also wanted it to be that deep growing up! So both in-universe and IRL, TOH isn’t meant to be over, there is no absolute ending because fandom lives on.

Hell, Dana even professed interest in a prequel following Eda’s childhood; She’s since become pessimistic about the possibility, more than likely on account of her cutting ties with Disney and executives’ disinterest. But the point still stands; Life keeps going, IRL. The lives of the characters keep going, in-universe and IRL through fandom.

I also wonder if you could discuss Lumity under this lens; I’m making exceptions for queer romances, especially in children’s media, because they often have to deal with censorship pushing them to the last minute. But when it comes to romance in general, romance involving the main character largely consists of Will They/Won’t They, with the climax having the romance achieved. But because of the Thrill of the Chase, a lot of writers don’t want to explore how characters actually navigate a relationship, hence why it’s drawn out and saved for the ending; The romance has been nearly tied up as a Happily Ever After, there’s no more story to tell. So when they get a continuation, they’ll often undo progress.

Lumity avoids this; Lumity has them get together at the halfway point of the series, and then actually explores their dynamic as a couple together, without creating misunderstandings or breakups or anything. We see how they work as a couple, how they get to enjoy each other as a couple. So them getting together isn’t the ending climax, it’s just another stage in their continuing dynamic. There is no Happily Ever After; There’s problems for them to face together that do sometimes strain their relationship, but they still work on it together; Dana was adamant on showing these things instead of settling for them asking each other out and letting the rest be an implication.

And I think that’s so much more healthy to show kids than just idealizing the Thrill of the Chase and its climax, without appreciating the mundanity of just being together. Because kids grow into adults and don’t really expect or care to pursue a romance past that point, and I wonder if this is part of the culture behind cheating, of still reaching for something unattainable because media doesn’t normalize already having things when it comes to romance. Nor does it care for tackling things together as a couple most of the time.

Dana was raised Catholic, which is separate from Puritanism, but she did have to deal with Evangelicals growing up, as they raged about innocuous things like Pokemon; And Pokemon was her Good Witch Azura, a last gift from her father before he died in a car crash. It’s something Dana still enjoys and she’s done crossover art for it and TOH.

So I can see the coincidence/connection in Dana critiquing Evangelicals’ rapture ideology and how the end of everything is used to placate people instead of worrying about what needs to be eternally maintained, and like. Her feeling similarly with stories and even romances where it ends definitively and perfectly. Because fandom keeps going and she’s a part of it too.

The world keeps going, there is no endpoint to history IRL or in the show; People have to adjust going back to the banality of continuing to live and worry about running society in the long-term, rather than expecting it to not matter because they were going to be raptured anyway. And you know what, this could be good, it means it lasts forever as we see Luz and co. embrace it, happy to enjoy their lives, actually getting to be in a relationship; But life is fragile as we see with the Titan, so we gotta work to keep it going, so that even when we get our definitive end, the people after get their time.

[scaly-freaks]

Kind of going off your post about how brown and black characters in HOTD and GOT are completely wasted or demolished or turned into a crude caricature.

Ummmm the HATE that is thrown towards Elia Martell is absolutely absurd. The way they hate the idea of this character and are honestly happy with how her character was destroyed is so telling and disgusting.

The hatred and discontent is so real and frightening and we saw a glimpse of that with those leaked texts from some random discord. I guess what I’m just trying to say is racism is far from dead and it’s seen in this fandom.

And yes the entirety of Arianne Martell’s character being a seductress is insane.

Also wanted to mention that the only other time I’ve seen brown characters in the show are as brothel workers. Of course nothing wrong with that sort of work. But it’s the sexualization that’s creepy.

Yeah. Yep. It's just depressing. Sometimes I find myself accepting it because it's so normal at this point, but then I'm like...no???? I hesitated making Amara Dornish and visibly non-white because my own self doubt made me want to . I thought eh I'll just make her from the Riverlands or something, it's less complicated. But then I make her, and people love her and it's not an issue (it's just stuff I've internalised over the years thanks to how society is set up). Which obviously goes to show the people who create our media are deliberately fucking up representation so that we just stop asking. They can create compelling characters that are centred they just don't want to a lot of the time.

That being said, British TV that specifically isn't popular outside of the UK, represents non-white characters quite well and doesn't turn them into caricatures of their culture/ethnicity (at least most of the time). In this case I am talking about American productions and non-British audiences.

On the note of Elia Martell...a lot of the times she is fancasted as Indian. Stereotypes about Dorne are also stereotypes used against Indians ('she smells Dornish' - no two guesses on what Aerys meant). I've seen Indians be used as punching bags for racism by every other race as if it's a free-for-all, to the point where very horrible and very real issues like misogyny in India are treated frivolously and with 'oh well they're all just like that.'

The mistreatment and racism against Elia has real life parallels because of the otherness of Dorne, and since Dorne brings to mind South and Western Asia so much (the way they hid in caves when the dragons came is very reminiscent of Afghan guerilla tactics and their tough terrain that invaders can't adjust to) that's usually the area of the world I associate it with.

It's all very other other other and now pair that up with snow-white daddy Rhaegar and his lily-white, dark-haired Stark girl (because mind you, I understand white blondes have had issues with how they're represented as slutty caricatures onscreen and brunettes as more clever and by extension more desirable in the long-term).

Elia didn't stand a chance against two white people pairing up, and that is honestly the only time when I'm like "you know what, stop fan casting her as desi." The woman is raped in front of her children and watches those same kids die in front of her, and even that isn't enough to stop the cruel jokes.

And yes, absolutely, there's nothing wrong with being a brothel worker. I adore stories about people in the grassroots, brothel workers especially, just trying to survive and get by in the world. But watch the brown workers be immediately depicted as more "comfortable" with this lifestyle, and just naturally promiscuous as compared to their white counterparts.

Meanwhile irl, if the brown person in question is a Muslim for example, their values in terms of modesty are mocked and derided and deemed an extremist 'other'. And then I guess you can be a Mormon in Utah and be just fine.

I honestly don't know if any of this made sense, or if I articulated without room for misunderstanding. Trust me, I do think about this a lot. I'm Kashmiri, and I've lived in England all my life, and my dating pool has mostly been white because that is what's more available. I've dealt with fetishisation/sexualisation (never for the ethnicity I am which most people couldn't even guess...uhhh hilarious) and it's forefront on my mind despite my active decision to leave it out of my fics as much as I can.

It can be very cathartic to talk about, but sometimes I'm like, you know what Amara, I'll take this extra little bit of suffering away from you bc girl you're already dealing with a lot (Aegon)

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for talking irl to somebody who has me blocked online?

Backstory: I (18M) was friends with someone I’ll call Emery (18 NB, they/he). I met them in freshman year of high school and we were pretty good friends. We stopped talking because I moved schools, but still followed each other on Instagram and reconnected through that near the end of our senior year.

Since I still live in the same town, we ended up hanging out in real life a few times, going to the movies, sleeping over once or twice, just hanging out at the grocery store and shit, etc. I was really excited for this because I missed him a lot when I moved schools.

From what I could tell, he enjoyed our rekindled friendship just as much as I did. He even suggested that I got a job at his workplace and helped me through the process. (I didn’t get the job though unfortunately 🥲)

However, one day I realized that their Instagram account was… gone? This was the only place we contacted each other so I was worried and asked a mutual friend what happened. The mutual told me that his account got deleted (They’re a chronic comment arguer so it made sense lol) but that he had a new account! So I clicked the name the mutual sent me but… it said the account didn’t exist. I asked if they mistyped the username and they assured me they hadn’t. I ended up looking up the account on my brother’s phone and sure enough it was there. The fact that only I couldn’t see it confirmed what I worried about in the first place: They had blocked me.

I reread our DMs and looked at my recent posts on Instagram wondering if maybe I said something wrong, but couldn’t find anything in particular, so I have no idea what caused them to block me. However, I’m still going to respect it obviously and have tried my best not to worry about it and just accept the L and move on. I know how annoying it to make a mutual friend ask about that so I didn’t ask them to other than just saying “did they say anything about why they blocked me?”. Maybe I made a mistake or maybe they suddenly decided I have bad vibes; I’ll likely never know what it was so there’s not much reason for me to continue thinking about it.

Anyway, flash forward to now, there’s an event that started up recently that has meetings every week on Monday. I went to it last year and am planning to go every week this year as well. However, when I went on the opening day, there was Emery. I panicked, because wtf are you supposed to do when you interact with someone who has you blocked online!? I just said hi and tried to ignore them for the night, and they did more or less the same.

I don’t know what I’m supposed to do from here though. I don’t want to go to them and be like “sooo why did you block me btw?” and I also don’t want to ignore that and talk to them like it never happened, but I also know I can’t just ignore them when I see them every week… The meetings only have about 5-10 people in them. We have to speak sometime.

So WIBTA if I tried to talk normally to somebody who has me blocked online??

What are these acronyms?

[beheba8]

since one direction came into my life, every version of me that has existed has loved them.

at 12, i only knew the words to one thing. at 15, i got to introduce the same song to my 6 year old brother at the time who loved it so much that he would constantly make me play it on my tablet and we would jam out together. it is a core memory of mine.

and not long after, i was watching “one direction funny moments” compilations till early hours of the morning, i was so hooked.

at 14, “1D” was spray painted in massive font on my bedroom door. how i got away with putting straight up black paint on a wooden door is beyond me, but remnants of that sign exist to this day in my childhood bedroom. the same bedroom where, for 4 beautiful years, i got to build a sense of self, and get into a lot of fights on the internet, thanks to these five men.

anyone who knows me irl will tell you that to this day, even as a 25 year old college graduate, i credit my understanding of the english language to the fact that i read a lot (and i truly mean a LOT) of one direction fanfiction on wattpad. before watching your favourite concerts on a grainy livestream was a thing, teenage me was getting up at unholy hours to go on youtube and watch every single concert video from the night before. and not only did i follow OTRA from the other side of the world, i stayed in bed for 7 hours straight on 1D day.

i sobbed for hours upon hours in March of 2015, and then again for their last tour stop at Sheffield, and one more time after their performance of History on X-factor. sadness came to me easily- it was the only plausible way to feel in times like these.

i can’t say the same for myself today. i was at my desk at work, doing something on excel for a project, when i got a text from my friend, yelling at me in all caps that a member of one direction- the band that i love so dearly that even at my grown age i refuse to discuss in front of people who know me in real life because they simply won’t get it- has died. my heart sank to the floor, and i couldn’t believe that i’m meant to go about my work day as if everything is normal.

liam’s death made me dissociate from real life from the minute i heard to about ten minutes ago when i started typing this out. knowing and understanding the one direction fandom means that i knew instantly that the public noise surrounding this news will be vapid and abhorrent- especially for his victims who have been courageous enough to speak out about the abuse they have been put through by this man. the exhaustion i felt when i logged onto twitter on the 16th, from the god awful things people were putting out into the world with no regard for the very real people who are being affected by his death, is unfortunately as eerily close to 2013-2015 as i have ever felt.

much like 2013-2015, though, i couldn’t do anything but keep going on twitter. seeing posts from long dead 1D stan accounts who were the only people who could understand the deep confusion and sadness that i was feeling. my timeline hasn’t been this inundated with pure one direction content in many many years, and these were the only people who made me feel less alone. og directions, who have for a while now stopped being a supporter of liam payne for the terrible things he has done since the band’s dissolution, are the only ones who know how confusing this grief has felt.

and then came the joint statement, signed in order of oldest to youngest, from louis, zayn, niall, and harry, and their tributes to one of the 5 (now 4) people in the world who lived through the phenomenon that changed the course of music history for the rest of time. the versions of liam that each of them chose to share with the rest of the world, their love for him, and even the regrets that came from the distance that grew between them- that hurt me more than my own sorrow. at the end of the day, you can’t really take the parasocial obsession out of the teenage girl who lives in me.

i’m sad that in the wake of his death, those he has harmed are going to be unfairly and unjustifiably blamed by the insufferable people who refuse to accept that death does not absolve someone of their wrongdoings.

i’m sad over the loss of a human life, and the loss of the version of one direction- the ot5 version- that is now gone forever. the same one direction that gave me so much joy, helped me through unspeakable pain, and will mean so much to me for as long as i am alive.

[zara-renata]

i have thoughts about your most recent fic and tumblr’s comment character limit has brought me to your ask box again 🙈

omgggg it’s so good to know sylus’s POV during that wine night!! and i don’t know why and how, but sylus’s thoughts about mc here, esp how he feels about her selfless tendencies (to her detriment), makes me feel vulnerable and seen. when i read reader-insert fics, i tend to imagine a separate character for mc even though it’s technically supposed to be me in my head. perhaps the character i made up resembles me (but better lmao), but different enough that she’s like an individual on her own. but when i read this fic, it’s like sylus was talking about me, as in the real me, which made me emotional. it could be that the way mc handles herself poorly in here resonates with me due to some irl stuff, but honestly it’s primarily how good you write about a character’s emotions and thoughts. it’s like the words reached across my screen and tugged at my heart. you’re such a great writer when it comes to expressing a character’s innermost thoughts. it’s like i’ve been placed inside a character’s mind to bare witness their raw self.

again, i love how your sylus x mc dynamics, at least for this series, revolve around an mc oblivious to how much sylus cares about her. it seems she doesn’t even believe she’s deserving of such affection, nor is she fitting to be the object of such primal desires. in a way, she’s kind of self-sabotaging in the sense that she thinks she doesn’t deserve kindness, help, and affection. she’s genuinely fine with taking the brunt of the pain and suffering – and not even in the hero, martyr kind of way. it seems it’s how she’s always been, such behavioral tendencies of hers seem to be as normal as the sky is blue, which is sad and concerning because she deserves so much. i’m honestly excited to see sylus try to knock down her hardened walls and have her realize how deserving she is of so many things. i hope she realizes she can relax, rest, take it easy, and feel safe. especially with him.

i actually laughed out loud about how unhinged sylus can be about his sexual desires for her. like the man is blue-balled to heck, but he isn’t the kind to succumb to his base urges. he really respects and loves mc. i think i would even say he reveres her, given the fan theories around their past. it’s like his urges are just something that come with his intense adoration and care for mc, which is so so admirable and attractive.

maybe i’m just a tad sensitive today, but i completely zeroed in on the emotional aspects of this fic – quite a difference as to how i salivated over your previous fic in your ask box LMAO. coincidence is such a funny thing because i feel like i really needed to read this fic today. i feel much better and more ready to face the day. this has been such a good read, and i humbly offer my apologies for yapping at your ask box yet again 🧎‍♀️🫣

First off, you never have to apologize for sending me your thoughts. I'm so happy every time I receive an ask, it's always an unexpected surprise. And your asks are always really thoughtful and fun to read! I wasn't just patronizing you when I said last time that it was really fun to receive such a spicy ask about the NSFW aspects of Sylus's character and dynamic with mc in these stories. A huge part of his appeal is his physicality and how he shows his affection through actions. Hot, hot, actions.

To be honest, this message from you is really reassuring, because I've noticed that a lot of the fanfic that gets a lot of traction in (any) fandom is of the NSFW variety (which, duh, I totally understand and appreciate and consume happily), and I worry that because I'm not currently focusing purely on that aspect of Sylus that people will be less interested in reading what I'm sharing, especially the installments that are so mc POV heavy. So to hear that you also like being in this mc's head, and can relate to this mc, that how I have Sylus respond to this mc's issues and hangups and trauma brings you comfort, is amazing for me as a wannabe writer. Although I also want to give you a hug (with your consent of course) if you can really relate to this mc because no one should ever have to feel what you so accurately point out about what this mc feels: that whatever pain you're experiencing is normal, and expected, and you can hardly imagine that someone would be so dedicated to helping relieve it for and with you. Because everyone deserves to feel cherished and demand more than the bare minimum from the world and the people in their life. I'm hoping that I can keep writing this story as an exploration of Sylus teaching mc that, and that you continue to derive comfort from it. Because in the end, fanfic can serve many purposes. And just like it can be a vehicle for exploring incredibly dark and disturbing and cathartic themes using our favorite characters, I think it can also be the ultimate comfort food, and sometimes you should just be able to feel fucking good reading it. I'm so happy to hear that this part did that for you. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts.

[fulgurbugs]

got someone in the mail a day early!

it’s spa day lagoona!

let me tell you, she’s been a lower priority doll for me for a little bit, one of the ones i decided i’d get only if i saw her on sale. then, all over reddit, i was seeing people find her in walmart clearance for 9 dollars- which i thought was going to be my chance. i mean, a playset doll that normally goes for 40 for 9 dollars is insanely good. unfortunately, i checked all the walmarts near my hometown (and the only one that’s close to my school) with no luck finding the fabled 9 dollar lagoona.

however, i was still occasionally checking for her online, and did see her for 20 dollars, which was a good enough deal that i decided to go for it. my walmart is terrible with mh stock so i figured it was my best shot.

here she is free! there’s two reasons i was interested in this lagoona- her makeup (it’s one of my fave lagoona looks) and her hair. i do plan to restyle this lagoonas hair, and the reason i put her on my wishlist in the first place is that i saw some really cute restyles of her online.

obviously, her hair is extremely long. i think the longest on any doll i have, as it goes all the way down to her feet. makes sense though, this is a hair play doll. she comes with lots of hair styling accessories, for her and for you, theoretical small child who’s playing with her.

we’ll ignore that i’m 21 and have short hair. here’s everything she comes with

we have

-one bathrobe

-16 hair clips (8 beads and 8 seashells)

-seahorse comb

-face mask for lagoona

-2 hair chalks

-blue hair elastics

-seashell storage case

-temporary tattoos

-matching set of human and doll sized hair clips

(i’ll actually missing one of the human size hairclips, which makes me think mine may have been a return. i’ll take having a missing piece that i would’ve just put into storage than some child who actually wants the hair items be missing one)

you can fit all the clips in the little seashell case :D

here’s the seahorse comb next to the one from goreganizer draculaura. weirdly, the teeth are much wider. these are also the colors of the hair chalk (the purple one isn’t that blue irl, but it is bluer than the purple case)

i’m tempted to put the temporary tattoos on my hands or something. maybe when i’m done doing dishes after this, i’ll update lol.

this lagoona has a lighter, paler blonde than core lagoona. i know i said in that post that i liked core lagoonas shade of blonde, but i think i like the paler blonde more. putting them next to each other, you can kinda see how yellow core lagoona is (though, it looks fine still with her rainbow theme. spa day lagoona has a more concentrated color palette)

shoe time! theyre actually asymmetrical, which i didn’t notice at first. cool detail!

face card! i really like the shade of lipstick and the pink and blue eyeshadow they went with for her on this one.

.5 shot (of course)

decided to display her with the robe on. it’s cute. anyways, that’s spa day lagoona, and i’ll probably end up restyling her hair tomorrow when i can get my supplies from the studio, so i’ll be sure to post that when i’m done. thanks for reading!

[anti-katsuki-lounge]

Recientemente en mi pais, una niña mato a otra porque la reto a un duelo, la niña que lamentablemente fallecio dias despues por un trauma cerebral, fue porque queria detener el bullying que le hacian, la otra niña agarro una piedra y la golpeo en la cara, lo peor es que compañeros grabaron y animaron a la bully!!

Te cuento esto porque me recordo mucho a la situacion de bakugo, el usaba su quirk sobre izuku, ERAN EXPLOSIONES, tuvo suerte de que no se murio!!

Es muy triste porque aunque siento que no es la intencion de hori para nada, puede normalizar la violencia y hacer creer que no importa que haga el abusador, su victima resistira todo como si fuera de metal, o peor qur pueden ser amigos.

A pesar de que es un error de escritura o que en el mundo de bnha es normal esta situacion, sigue sin ser sano, porque no representa la realidad de una situacion asi.

I don’t speak Spanish so I’m going to leave the Google translate for this message here:

“Recently in my country, a girl killed another because she challenged her to a duel, the girl who unfortunately died days later from a brain trauma, it was because she wanted to stop the bullying that was done to her, the other girl grabbed a stone and hit her on the head. face, the worst thing is that colleagues recorded and encouraged the bully!!

I'm telling you this because it reminded me a lot of the situation with Bakugo, he used his quirk on izuku, THEY WERE EXPLOSIONS, he was lucky he didn't die!!

It is very sad because although I feel that it is not the intention of hori at all, it can normalize violence and make believe that no matter what the abuser does, his victim will resist everything as if it were made of metal, or worse that they can be friends.

Despite the fact that it is a writing error or that this situation is normal in the world of bnha, it is still not healthy, because it does not represent the reality of such a situation.”

My response:

I 100% agree with everything you’ve said. Even if people in MHA are sturdier than irl humans, Katsuki should’ve killed Izuku by now with how much he launches explosions at him, if not scar him. Some Stans will say “Katsuki’s smart enough to not mark him” but the bullying’s been going on since they were four. A four year old’s not going to know how to control an explosion.

Also, the story you mentioned does shed light on a terrible issue when it comes to bullying: people tend not to care. In fact, bullies are usually accompanied by crowds and are defended by said crowds. Izuku’s time at Aldrea is relatively realistic due to this. However, MHA is supposed to criticize this mindset and it never does. Even in a new environment where Katsuki is supposed to be amongst equals, he’s still allowed to bully others, he’s still allowed to run his mouth with no consequences, and he’s still seen as a diamond in the rough DESPITE how he’s unsuited to be a hero. U.A was supposed to be different, but it’s really not. Katsuki still gets to be a POS without having some sense smacked into him and the relationship between the two boys is framed as “they need to get along” instead of “one is bullying the other and we need to correct the aggressor’s behavior while letting the victim know we’re on his side”.

Even if none of this was intended by Hori, the issue is that this is how he wrote the story, and as such, is a failing in said story.

[larry-hiatus]

Writing “Goals” for 2024

I made a list of writing goals in 2022 and 2023, so I decided to make one for this year too! (I’m putting “goals” in quotations because these are some things I would like to do, but I’m not necessarily aiming to definitely do them, if that makes sense. We’ll just see what happens!)

1. Tackle some ideas from my list - I keep adding to a list of potential fic ideas, and it’s getting long! They often get added to the list and then forgotten about, so I would love to write some of these instead of always starting fics from brand new ideas.

2. Write a long(ish) fic - This one is ehhhh, nerve wracking. I feel like I’m rubbish at longer fics (long by comparison to my normal stuff, which doesn’t usually go above 15K). I don’t have the attention span or motivation, I’m not good at plots or world building, and if it’s not PWP, I feel lost. That being said, I have ideas for longer fics, and I think it would be nice to try them out. We’ll see!

3. Write a non smut fic - As I mentioned above, non PWPs are not my strong suit. However, I usually try to make it a goal to write at least one non smut fic each year. It’s difficult for me. I was able to do it a few times this year, my favorite being my Halloween fic. I don’t always like how my non smut come out, but sometimes I have ideas that I want to write that don’t include smut. I think it can be a good challenge.

4. Finish and repost a specific old fic - Way back during One Direction’s prime, I wrote chaptered fics on Tumblr. They were well liked, and I enjoyed it! There is one fic that I really loved and never finished. I posted it on AO3 a couple of years ago, but I have since privated it. I would love to finally finish it, maybe even go back and update some of the old chapters to better reflect my writing style and abilities now, and then share it again with everyone.

5. Write for Wank Fest - In 2022, I wrote an infamous fic for Wank Fest, and I had a lot of fun. In 2023, I wanted to write for it again. I even had several ideas, but I didn’t have enough time or motivation to finish them! It would be great if I could come back to the fest this year.

6. Write a spur of the moment canon fic - 2023 was the first year that I did this, whipping out a fic in a couple of days based on an event that just happened IRL. I did it when Louis got new hand tattoos, when Harry accidentally posted his 1D shirt selfie, and with a series based on Harry’s naughty HSLOT shows. Obviously I can’t predict what will happen IRL or what will inspire me this year, but ya never know!

7. Write some fics for CSW based on past concert moments - Speaking of my HSLOT series, I had said that I might go back and write more fics for it based on older show moments, either Harry’s solo shows or even some 1D shows. I don’t have any immediate or definitive plans for that, but it’s in the back of my head!

8. Write a dark fic - This was something else that I did for the first time last year. I didn’t even understand why people would want to write or read a dark fic, but once I got into it, I loved it. I’m so proud of the fic I wrote, and I think it would be awesome if I could explore that kind of thing again.

9. Write a sequel - Yet another goal that I completed in 2023, and I’m adding it to my goal list again! I definitely have ideas, and I’ve gotten requests, so it’s definitely a possibility!

10. Use a beta more often - I never used to post fics without getting them betaed first. However, this past year, I haven’t done it as much. Part of this is because I was doing so many sudden fics that I wanted to post ASAP, but another reason is because I have a hard time taking criticism and finding a balance for what kind of betaing I want/need. I think it would be beneficial for me to try and push past that a bit!

That’s all I’ve got for now! I’ve reused some old goals, but hey, they’re good ones for me lol. We shall see what happens as the year goes on!

Going to tag some lovely writers—I would love to hear some of your goals, plans, hopes, or ideas for the year if you haven’t already posted a list! @lunarheslwt @alwaysxlarrie @larrysballetslippers @enchantedlandcoffee @hellolovers13 @zanniscaramouche @harruandlou @loveislarryislove @red-pandaaa @nooradeservedbetter @greeneyesfriedrice @hl-obsessed @beelou @28goldens @huggieshalo @justanothershadeofblue @littleohs @louieshalo @allwaswell16 @parmahamlarrie y

Feel free to say I tagged you if you want to share your writing goals too!

[multifairyus]

Spicy Brelwyn Playlist Update

Tl;dr—What should the Playlist name be?

Disclaimers:

1. Idk how to make a post Mature/Explicit so uuhhh if you’re too young for this then like…don’t engage. If you’re a minor, I’d appreciate if you took a back seat in this discussion please and thank you!

2. I personally headcannon the whole “Early College” thing in Legendborn as just normal college. Sexy situations aside I think aging up the characters it solves plot contrivances and makes things simpler where the more complicated option isn’t terribly interesting. As such, the relationship discussed between Briana and Selwyn is between two adults. Moreover, while Sel’s demonia makes an ~appearance~ and influence, this playlist is meant to be conceptualized without the looming threat of him descending into demonia and subsequent blurring of the lines between “safe, sane, and consensual”, as is in Demonia’s Descent. So like…in my headcannon/playlist AU, the power of love makes Sel better at edging his demon? Yeah. Yeah? Sure.

…look, I’m not here to make this shit actually make sense with the plot. That’s for the lovely theorists, fix-it/alt POV fic writers and resource gathering fandom members’ forte. I’m here to provide the official soundtrack of Legendborn smut for those of us on the front lines when there was under 100 fics total on AO3 and for the new fans that will come when Book 3 is released. I do have an aspiration to take undue credit for one of playlist songs ending up in the Legendborn TV show—oh y’all couldn’t tell me NOTHINGGG. If nothing else, I just want people to enjoy and create fan works to the playlists, cuz this is my own kind of fan work 😊

Image from OpenMeDesigns

Aight now let’s get INTO ITTTTT

So, Of Our Own Volition had Brelwyn making love for the first time. The earliest one could theorize it happening (with a non heteronormative definition of sex) could be Into Orbit…tho personally? It’s when The Line was clearly crossed in Virgo’s Scorpio’s Groove. Immediately followed by Sel having a damn religious ascension with Submerge: Until We Become the Sun. We get some afterglow and end on a flirty, playful, even experimental note with We Might Even Be Falling In Love (feat. Bryson Tiller for my Spotify peeps). It’s all very saccharine and tender and sweet and I love it…

This is not that playlist. They are grown and fucking fucking now. We are getting explicit. We are getting kinky. I allowed myself like one and a halfish toxic song in this playlist, since there’s more than enough excellent but SUPER TOXIC relationship songs for the TLC trio, regardless if you’re OT3 endgame or Brelwyn endgame. …A Toxic OT3 playlist will come in due time, with my softboi hours (Brickel? Nickee? Brick?) Brick Playlist along side it as a palette cleanser.

But now? I want input for what a grown and sexy playlist would be for these two!I like wording and terminology from the book—“Everything in Between” isn’t bad but feels too wordy? I’m open to phrases from fics too, especially from who have published excellent Brelwyn smut already—you know who you are (because I tagged you cuz y’all’s work deserves more hype @sweetestblacktea @justbrainrot @thoughtfulbearpanda @ficnoire2 )

I will crowdsource opinions on kinks our lovely couple is into, giving or receiving, in the comments. For scientific reasons, of course. I’m a chemist irl, and I know chemistry when I see it! 👩🏾‍🔬🥵👌🏾😩

Onto my specific thoughts I think may be helpful to answer my query!

~*~*~*~*~*~

I think I wanna have transition songs like the instrumental tracks in O3V and DD. But my searches for “sexy violin” are not giving what I need it to.

An idea I have is to instead have shifts be denoted by a lil “Demonia Dip” as I call it. Not full on Act V of DD bad but like, compared to the rest of the playlist you’d be like “oh yeah it’s that bastard again” we’re talking For Your Entertainment by Adam Lambert and a reappearance of Tonight You are Mine by the Technicolors.

This is an R&B slowjams playlist for our protagonist and King Bree first and foremost… but Sel IS a white boy with THAT kinda playlist for his deepest, darkest desires…it’s only fair the cambion brain gets a few tracks, if only to signal “oh we are NASTY nasty now huh—“ Plus I let the white boy freak flag fly by starting off O3V with Sweater Weather. He can have a dip or two. As a treat.

Track Teasers (in no particular order)

F.U.C.K., Victoria Monet

Earned It, The Wknd (Often and Lost in the Fire are going to the top of Toxic playlist because I couldn’t add them in good faith with content or language I disapprove of in it 🥴 but the Wknd couldn’t NOT be in here)

Speechless, Buddy

Skin, Rihanna

A Muse, dvsn

Rope Burn, Janet Jackson

Teehee this is gonna be fun y’all 💖

Kthxbai

-Fairy

[jenny-from-the-bau]

Loved the new episode of the podcast— I’m going to do a re-listen later since I was multitasking the first time. I, too, love how after Emily got back on the horse Emily is just unapologetically being Emily.

And again, you guys are so right, Evolution!Emily feels like a culmination and natural progression of all the Emilys she’s been before. She’s open about manipulating people for good. (And Jill is wrong, Emily can lie with the best of them if it’s needed!).

Also, I love Emily treating Tyler like a little brother. Tyler and Luke have a similar background, but Emily also has a similar background to Tyler’s covert/black ops history. I feel like Emily knows the struggle Tyler is currently going through. Covert Intel sees Covert Ops.

But also with all this Jason Bourne style creation of an Operator, I feel like Evolution could really expand more from violent serial crimes and into hunting for domestic terrorists… just like Bailey wanted but they get to keep the BAU team identity. (Especially, since apparently that is IRL BAU are doing).

Sicarious Network, Goldstar… they’re not far off from being a terrorist cell. In fact, isn’t that one of Emily’s pitch to Bailey to keep the team together?

I totally think Emily was being a "bad liar" on purpose haha She knew that Jill would see through it, but also be affected by how Tyler kind of looks like her son. Emily is tricky!

Emily and Tyler's relationship is actually so cute. It's like he's Emily's son! I love that! You're right that Emily and Tyler do have similar backgrounds, but they have very different training and skill sets, I think. I do agree that Emily probably understands his struggle to reintegrate into "normal" life REALLY well. She's probably so sympathetic to his struggle! Love that!

Ooh, I like the idea of them doing domestic terrorism! Maybe they could have like one longer domestic terrorism case each season and then smaller single killer cases each episode. I really like that structure tbh and I think the BAU is def skilled enough to do that. It would make sense for them to hone in on one terrorism group at a time, whereas other departments have to be aware of a lot of people at once.

Ugh, I miss Dougly T_T one day I'll write that fic lol

[lepertamar]

Stalking & The Glory of God 2019 vs Revised 2023 comparison

Since it's a short story this is also gonna be just one post! The few changes are still cool enough to have warranted a good bit of rotating in the brain from me though.

to be clear, stalking was published before Birds or Lives, it's mostly only a prequel or comment on Stars and there's no need to wait until after the full series to read it LOL. it's also free and right here.

I've chatted a bit with people who have read the earliest ever version which was actually all the way back from 2016 (this version i have not read since i only discovered this series in late 2021) and learned some things about eg, tamar's characterization, which is so much more boring/bland here than in stars, because it was apparently written before stars. so that aspect is accidental but somehow fits the narrative of stars really well. the 'i didn't have myself...' etc, the way she kind of made herself Become someone blistering and real through her apprehension of an awakening desire etc, sometime in the gap between here and the prologue of stars......it's cool lol. the way safirah here bears so much more resemblance, not exactly in content of personality but in form of metalness and presence, to stars-era tamar, than tamar here bears to her stars-era self.

anyway as usual, new revision changes/additions are in bold, and deleted old things are in strikethrough red

First, a small bit:

Plastered onto the front of one of the cases is some kind of promotional image of two people wearing way too many shiny things. One’s even a demon, as though to say, even a demon can’t help but indulge in what this shop’s got to offer.

I Love Defamilarization So Much. obviously a 'demon' is 'those extremely non-indulgent guys who live apart from society and wouldn't usually be tempted by worldly materialism'. Duh. What else could the term demon mean. anyway it's a nice little curb-cutting before the holy, with it's similar defamiliarized disconnect between irl connotations of term and the in-universe worldbuilding + cultural understanding. The previous version was:

In what Tamar thinks must be some attempt at inclusivity, one’s even a demon. Either that, or she’s just a normal woman with yellow contacts and fake horns, in which case it’s probably the opposite of inclusive.

Which is uhhhh rather cringey and immersion-breaking lol :P Inclusivity even as a concept, let alone phrased in such post-2010s American Leftist sort of language, isn't really a thing on people's minds (or honestly implied to be something being struggled with much) in Sehhinah.

That woman, it was her mouth that was her price for what she did, right? 

Just a little tweak that imo does a lot, especially to someone unfamiliar with the series :) the mention of price and 'for what she did' which leaves the punishing vs approvedness of it ambiguous, especially in terms of how laypeople think of it.

It makes her think of the feeling of awe.  Or fear.  Or curiosity. 

changed from

It makes her think of the feeling of awe.  Or fear.  Or reverence. 

Reverence, too, is not a very culturally salient concept in Sehhinah, I can't think of a single other time such an idea was mentioned in regards to G-d. Curiosity, of course, is incredibly Tamar.

“If you were to do what you’re thinking of,” Elīya continues, “you would have to report back to me on any feelings of guilt, and your overall moral sense of the experience.  After all, it sounds like you have a little bit of morality these days, from my influence, so you should be able to handle that.” Tamar raises an eyebrow, though Elīya can’t see it over the phone. “Impressive bending of moral codes.”

changed from:

“I’m honestly not sure whether you should go into academic philosophy or be a lawyer,” Tamar says, “what with that impressive bending of moral codes.”

It just slightly allows a pause on just how insufferable Eliya is and exactly what Tamar ran away from and had no idea how to explain herself to in Stars when she did LOL. it also mirrors some phrasing that happens in stars, when eliya or yenatru make an expression tamar can't see.

Couple scenes later:

And their left arm is blackened.

Well, it’s more like a reddish-brown, with a slight, flickering glow under the skin.  But it’s burned, burned horribly—the skin twists and turns, and it’s easy to see how it wouldn’t be usable at all.  Adding to that impression is the fact that Safirah doesn’t move it, not even for balance: it really was their price, then. Her breath catches.  It’s beautiful. Actually, as Tamar continues to look at it—she’s allowed to, she reminds herself, no one will even care or notice—she realizes that the twists on the skin are actually moving.  There are patterns there, patterns of flames and not of flames at all; Tamar squints at it.  She continues to watch Safirah’s arm as the debaters take their seats, trying to follow the patterns there.  She’s becoming half-convinced that they mean something—

I flipped out about this passage back in this post but the thing is it's not even a revision thing. It's always been there!!! In plain sight!!!. I've read it multiple times before the revision and somehow just never snagged on these things.

BUT that incredible passage is heightened by the deletion of a single also very cringey line that seems to have been shoehorned in to try to reassure the readers (or the author herself) of its 'normalcy', as a virtue, at the expense of narrative power or the power of a price as a worldbuilding element in the culture:

Her breath catches.  It’s beautiful. And it certainly doesn’t inspire revulsion, and from what Tamar can tell about the crowd’s lack of reaction, that’s a general fact. Actually, as Tamar continues to look at it—

blech right??? just like those books so afraid of being problematic they're ridiculous. the revision is MUCH better.

she focuses on Safirah’s face, trying to discern if there’s anything in the way they smile that hints at the power underneath them. The power that has burned them, changed them. She looks long and hard, finding her eyes drawn to Safirah’s. They seem hard, somehow. Like diamonds. Then Safirah begins their opening speech, apparently having been spurred to do so by the announcer: “This will come as no surprise to those of you who have read my writings, but my answer to the question posited by this debate is no.  Not for myself. Yes, as you can see, I have experienced the glory of God firsthand, here, in this life”—they use their right arm to lift their left, for emphasis—“and that’s not the only thing I intend to experience.  I’m one for variety, and if there’s one thing we know about the world after the Resurrection, it’s that it’ll have a lot of that. “Our lives argue for us—they argue for what we want to happen after the Resurrection, what kind of new world, or worlds, I suspect, God will create then.  And I want to experience that—I want to experience it all.  Heaven is already right here in my arm; in my other arm, maybe there can be something else.” Safirah smiles, sharp.

safirahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ;-;

Another observation that has nothing to do with revision, because it already existed this way before, but i love how much this echoes Lucifer's description of what the resurrection will entail, albeit less gratingly phrased, and, also characteristic of safirah (and of stars-and-lives-era tamar) very casually, unselfconsciously, and self-assuredly packing way more background assumptions that fly in the face of what's spelled out more didactically by other characters, regarding theurgy. (the word 'theurgy' never appears in this short story, the word 'manifested' only appears once and in an oblique manner, and only in Israfil's dialogue).

A friend of mine joked, regarding this:

"safirah, accidentally intuiting the entire plot of sehhinah: "

Another change, are a few words in the angel Israfil's speech:

“I came to existence this way, God’s fire in my veins—and I have loved it, have loved most of all my role in helping make the world, in adding what is of me to what exists physically. Truly, God would not have been able to make any of this without Their angels—and I say that not just to toot my own horn, but because it is true. Their soul is many things, but ground, water, air… are not among them. So of course They could not have manifested those into existence, not without more varied souls.

despite being only a few words off, the original was, on second look, an absolutely BAFFLING and flying-in-the-face-of-all-continuity-and-worldbuilding:

“God made me this way, Their fire in my veins—and I have loved it, have loved most of all my role in helping make the world, in bringing great plans to fruition. Truly, God would not have been able to make any of this without Their angels—and I say that not just to toot my own horn, but because it is true. Their soul is many things, but ground, water, air… are not among them. So of course They could not have manifested those into existence, not without more varied assistants.”

angels as assistants?????? angels as crafted in a certain way for a purpose???????? G-D '''HAVING'''' '''''PLANS'''''???? LET ALONE PLANS THEY PLANNED TO BRING TO FRUITION WITH ANGELS?????????????? all these things are assumptions that are so commonplace as to be unnoticeable in any other fiction or discussion of g-d and angels and creation, but are so, so anathema to everything in the rest of sehhinah they are completely explicitly contradictory to canon and jarringly misleading. and it is TRULY delightful that this series is so specifically a stickler about how many things in its worldbuilding can NOT be glossed by reference to common assumptions.

Tamar looks back to Safirah’s arm.  The burns, the swirling burns, seeming to draw her in with their suggestiveness, their hints of what has happened to them… she is so curious….

changed from

“The burns, the swirling burns, seeming to draw her in with their promise of pain and joy both…”

ahhhhhhh <3 just another bit of characterization and worldbuilding rigor: no promises, no specificity, just a sexually-charged word 'suggestiveness', riddling hints, another appeal to Tamar's curiosity, and the ambiguity of whether the word 'them' refers to the burns, or to Safirah, or either/both. The phrasing also echoes Lives, where when g-d Sees tesena, tamar's pov on the shockwave is:

she doesn't understand anything at all and it's a delight to see it, a delight to see it all, but yet she is so curious...

Then more of what i was flipping out about in that other post, most of which, again, was there All Along, only one line at the end has been added in this revision:

God, the patterns of the burn really do seem to be moving—and wait, the glow… oh.  The glow beneath their skin moves too, in a different way from the marks on the skin itself.  In the glow also, Tamar swears she can see patterns, if only it would stop moving for a second.  She wonders if they’re the same patterns as the ones on the skin.  Do they complement each other?  Do they mean something different? God doesn’t communicate in words, Tamar knows, so they’re unlikely to be letters—but then, maybe, feelings? Or, since that burn in Safirah’s arm is God—is God, Themself, Safirah chose to have part of their body be that great and flaming soul—perhaps it’s not something consistent at all.  Maybe it represents whatever God’s thinking about, right now, at this moment, or what if it’s even what God and Safirah are thinking, saying in reaction to each other…?

auuuugh....... ;-;

next up:

She has prayed to God before, of course.  Out of curiosity, mostly when she was younger—but though she felt the vague turnings of wheels, the sense of God having a whole bunch of eyes, it all felt distant. Like, sure, praying leads to a feeling of a flurry of flames of flapping wings that responds to your thoughts, but it always seemed just… that? A flame like the sun being there suddenly… but yet no closer than the sun.

But having seen a Holy’s mouth, wreathed in flame… a Holy’s arm, burned to a crisp and still swirling… Tamar grins, watching those patterns, watching them…

changed from:

She has prayed to God before, of course. Out of curiosity, mostly when she was younger—but though she felt the vague turnings of wheels, the sense of God having a whole bunch of eyes, it all felt distant. Like, sure, praying leads to feeling bright light and feeling a response to your thoughts, but it’s not much more than the light from sunbathing. So it never interested her that much. But having seen a Holy’s mouth, wreathed in flame… a Holy’s arm, burned to a crisp and still swirling… well, it turns out that praying is barely even a window into the real experience of God. Tamar grins, watching those patterns, watching them…”

this is a bit more in line with how other characters (yairen, tesena, nam'ir -- and the characters in Lives after the Pillar, but that experience is extremely atypical lol) experience g-d while praying: something big, but with very varied experiences regarding how much meaning could be extracted from that non-holy communication. and the trailing off after 'swirling...' is of course superior.

Safirah sighs, long and rough.  They raise their left leg and press Tamar’s chest to the wall with their knee.  That done, they remove their right arm, the one that originally did the pressing, from Tamar’s shoulder.

changed from:

Safirah sighs, a long and rough thing, not at all what Tamar might have assumed one of the Holy is supposed to sigh like, if they are supposed to sigh at all. They raise their left leg and with their knee press Tamar’s chest to the wall.

This is another excellent deletion of a more blandly-commonplace, but completely-out-of-continuity-with-the-rest-of-the-series idea of how the holy are viewed by characters in-universe.

Safirah’s laughter fades into quiet giggles, and they look at Tamar and say, “Oh, kid, you were afraid you were stalking?” Tamar isn’t sure if she should answer that question, but she nods slightly anyway. “Not to say”— another giggle interrupts Safirah’s speech—“that you entirely weren’t stalking.  Oh, but you were so concerned about it!  That’s really sweet, especially when I was half-expecting an actual attack.” Tamar finally makes it to the point where she manages out one word: “What?” Ēnnuh’s nowhere near that dangerous. “Depending on what you’re asking, for starters, I did read your mind, if that answers your question.” Tamar had figured out that much. “Or—well, the other obvious question I can answer is, yes, an attack.  Nothing to do with the city itself, just with me. As I’ve directly argued that little to nothing would be lost if the option for Heaven were removed—not that I expect or want such to happen—I’ve been a target for a decent share of nasty letters lately. Now, usually those types don’t actually follow up on their threats, but when I heard suspicious and yet poorly concealed footsteps behind me in an alleyway… I admit I may have jumped to conclusions. As I think I am generally skilled at not doing in the context of writing, debates, and so on, this one included.”

there is soooooo much more suggestiveness here than in the previous version. maybe my jewishness is showing but i just really enjoy the whole idea of safirah being targeted with hate mail because their ideas are considered dangerous or serious enough to warrant it.

the original was a much less interesting and rather clunky 'a mugger, due to safirah reading too many crime novels' rather than 'an attack, due to safirah getting nasty letters (death threats?) about their work':

Safirah’s laugher fades into quiet giggles, and they look at Tamar and say, “Oh, honey, you were afraid you were stalking?” Tamar isn’t sure if she should answer that question, but she nods slightly anyway. “Not to say”— another giggle interrupts Safirah’s speech—“that you entirely weren’t stalking. Oh, but you were so concerned about it! That’s really sweet, especially when I was half-expecting muggers.” Tamar finally makes it to the point where she manages out one word: “What?” Ēnnuh’s nowhere near that dangerous. "Depending on what you’re asking, for starters, I did read your mind, if that answers your question.” Tamar had figured out that much. “Or—well, the other obvious question I can answer is, yes, muggers. This may be a major city, and very Holy-respecting at that, but to someone motivated enough, my arm may read as a weakness to be exploited—or maybe I’ve just been reading too many crime books lately. What I’m trying to say is, I am neither weak nor always the best at thinking on my feet when in an unfamiliar city. Though I think I did well in the debate.”

this is kinda boring imo. lol. it didn't stand out to me as bad or good before, but one of the really fun thing about all these revisions is how i can really feel how much more thoughtful and/or efficiently-packing-in-implied-ideas-and-info basically all the revision changes are! which is honestly really motivating/idea-generating to me if i ever try to write fiction in the future? how to replace anything bland or whatever-feeling with something that holds more information (including just aesthetic/emotional information).

[scary-narco-psychopath]

Blog introduction/common misconceptions

Brief intro post so people aren’t totally off put by my username/photo/misunderstanding what it’s all supposed to mean. Hi, I’m a self identified psychopath and narcissist. In this context these words mean something different to me than their clinical definition. I am 18 years old, American, and my gender is irrelevant. To answer your most pertinent questions:

No, I do not murder people for fun (or for work, for that matter)

No, I do not kick puppies and torture newborns

No, I do not derive pleasure from others suffering (not very often, anyway—it takes a real asshole for me to wish harm unto someone)

No, I am not an abuser, manipulator, or generally an asshole. I’m actually a pretty normal and nice person if you know me irl—you wouldn’t even know I’m a narc/psycho at all.

Yes, I respect other people’s existence and have basic cognitive empathy—treat others as you would like to be treated. Basic stuff.

Purpose of blog/why call yourself that?

I identify this way because I do not fit into a conventional category of mental illness for the reasons stated above (and many more), yet I find myself perpetually isolated, alone, and alienated from the “shared human experience” that unites the rest of society (supposedly anyway).

To be fair, I am clinically diagnosed—with depression and anxiety—but that is much besides the point. The issues for which I made this blog have hardly anything to do with my Major Depressive Disorder or my Generalized Anxiety Disorder (though, to be honest, they do exacerbate some of the symptoms of those conditions).

In essence, I have discovered I lack many basic, fundamental “normal” human traits, including but not limited to:

Genuine love and attachment to people and living things. I do not form bonds or real “relationships” in the proper sense—to me, people are functionally objects. I will treat them with great care, but only to the degree required of me. Furthermore, If they leave my life, I will not miss any of them.

Sharing of emotion, or “affective empathy” — I do not “feel for” other people. I do not rejoice in their happiness. I do not grieve in their despair. When I hear of tragedies or witness horrific violence, I feel barely anything more than casual disdain for the world. The only thing I really care about with people I know is if they have something in jealous of or if they can provide me with something I desire. Other than that, I have no genuine interest in them and their emotions.

Interest outside of myself and my image—kind of explained in the last point, but I am very narcissistic—I think largely about myself, almost all of the time, and there is little thought I dedicate to other people—when i genuinely try to “think” about others, it is highly forced and unnatural. I try to be subtle as I can about my narcissistic tendencies, but ultimately all I genuinely care about is my own happiness and personal whims—the service of others is secondary.

Ability to grieve or “feel gratitude”

There’s probably more I’m forgetting but those are some basics about me. Basically, I’m externally “functional” and have enough decency and cognitive empathy to distance me from the label of ASPD, as well as not enough trauma or disruptive symptoms to have NPD. I am also not autistic (though I’ve had some doubts in the past). However, I fall in a grey line between normal and abnormal, and the perpetually isolating reality of my condition is crushing to me. Hence why I’m here, making this blog.

I suppose part of me wants to hope someone out there feels a little bit like me, too—not because I care about those people, but so that I don’t feel quite as painfully alone.

Or maybe this blog is just another way to stroke my huge ego and fill the boundless void inside me that craves constant and endless attention from people.

Follower rules

All that aside, I hope you enjoy my blog. Almost anyone is welcome to browse or interact, regardless of mental health status, as long as you are not an asshole or acting aggressively and hatefully. Feel free to drop me questions in my inbox about anything, related to these topics or even random questions. Keep in mind I have the right to decline a question if I deem it too personal or wish not to answer, but I invite you to ask whatever you want—respectfully of course.

You are not welcome on my blog if you are:

Transphobic

Homophobic

Racist

Xenophobic

Bigoted

A Zionist

A nazi

I believe that’s all for an intro post. Sorry for making it SO long, just wanted to be thorough and establish a clear idea of what this blog is for, what the rules are, etc. I hope you enjoy your time and stay sane out there! It’s a crazy world <3