#I’m looking at it now after finally getting some sleep and the proportions look weird af
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Inspiration hit me like a high speed train with something unrelated to hazbin after 3 months of nothing
Here’s a little dumbass cinnamon roll for you
*crawls back into my hole for the next few months*
#I’ve been watching saiki k when bored#and kaidou is the most adorable idiot ever I love him#I’m just about halfway through the show now#disclaimer I drew literally all of it in the middle of the night#experimented a bit with watercolour brushes#I’m looking at it now after finally getting some sleep and the proportions look weird af#might have gone a little overboard with the sparkles#but im not changing it idc#saiki k#saiki no psi nan#the disastrous life of saiki k.#saiki fanart#shun kaidou#kaidou shun#kaidou saiki k#kaidou fanart#fanart#thorium.art
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Body Swap ❤️
(Here's the previous piece I shared)
And a 1k snippet cus what the hell:
He wakes up, and he’s still Carlos. Well, he’s Charles, but in Carlos form- yeah...
He lays in bed for a while, staring at the ceiling and wondering how this all works. Is his own brain still in his body? It must be, right? So then, how is his consciousness in another body when his brain is still where it’s supposed to be? Is it his personality, but with Carlos’ brain? But it can’t be, or else, he’d be able to speak fluent Spanish right now (he tries, and in fact, cannot).
He tries to remember what happened the night of the race. He knows that they’d all gone to get drinks, the sting of his DNF and Carlos’ penalty still too fresh in their veins for sleep. But after arriving at the hotel bar, everything gets...fuzzy. Charles can’t recall anything, until the next morning, when he’d woken up as Carlos.
The gap in his memory is notable enough to make him think that whatever happened in that gap contains their answer for...whatever’s happening. But it doesn’t get him any closer to remembering.
When he finally gets up, it’s because his growling stomach becomes too insistent to ignore any longer. He only runs into a couple doorframes on his way to the kitchen, still not used to these specific proportions or controlling this body’s limbs. He finds Carlos already there, and it still shocks him to see what looks like his own body operating separately from himself. Carlos, obviously, knows where everything in his own kitchen is. But it looks to Charles like he, himself, knows where every dish and cup and ingredient is in his teammate’s kitchen, a kitchen he’s never been in until right now.
His headache from yesterday is already returning.
“Morning,” Carlos says, when he notices Charles lingering in the doorway. “Fuck, that’s weird.” Charles doesn’t have to ask what he means.
“Morning,” he says, shuffling over to the island and sitting in one of the stools.
“I’m making some coffee.”
“I don’t drink it,” Charles says, and then realizes that Carlos does. “Oh...”
“Yeah,” Carlos says, smirking. “Bet you’ll feel much better after.”
Charles is still resistant to the idea, but when Carlos puts a cup in his hands, the smell alone begins to wake up Charles’ senses. He downs the whole thing, the taste familiar and welcome on his tongue, and feels like he can almost function again.
“Better?” Carlos asks, and Charles nods, gratefully. “How did you sleep?”
“Okay,” Charles says. “You?”
“Yeah, okay, also.”
They descend into silence, and Charles feels distinctly like they’ve...forgotten how to be around each other. But they can’t be blamed for not acting themselves, when they aren’t themselves.
“So...what do we do?” Charles asks, and Carlos sighs.
“I did some research,” he says, and Charles raises his brows. “I don’t know if any of it is to be believed. But, I don’t know what else we can do.”
“Okay,” Charles says, gesturing for him to keep going.
“Well, first, I found just a bunch of things about virtual reality, which was not helpful,” Carlos says, scoffing. “And then, there were things about brain transplants which...I don’t think has happened.”
It’s strangely reminiscent of his own thoughts this morning, but Charles just nods without interrupting.
“There was something about ‘mirror souls,’ ” Carlos says, and it makes Charles’ ears perk up.
“That sounds promising.”
“Well, it is part of this...spiritualism thing. And there were people talking about their souls switching bodies with their ‘twin flame.’ But we are not...” Carlos trails off, and Charles frowns, not totally understanding what he means.
“ ‘Twin flame’ - what is this?”
“I don’t really know,” Carlos says, sighing. “But it did not sound like us.”
“Well...okay,” Charles says, feeling frustration building, but not with Carlos necessarily - just with the whole situation. “Did you find anything about how to undo this?”
Carlos hesitates, but then shakes his head.
“Not really, no. Everything was saying that either it is an energy exchange that should undo itself very quickly, or that we need to...understand something. About each other. And until we do that, we will stay...like this.”
They’re both silent again, Carlos letting him process the words.
“But how did this happen in the first place?” Charles asks, eventually. “Why can’t we remember that night, after the race?”
Carlos shrugs, his expression apologetic. Charles is struck by how it feels to see his own face with that expression aimed at him.
“We have to fix this, Carlos. The next race is in less than two weeks. We cannot still be like this when it’s time to drive the cars.”
“I know, Charles,” he sighs. “But what can we do?”
“We should...tell someone. Try to get advice-”
“You want to tell someone?” Carlos asks, disbelief in his voice. “Who would believe us, Charles? They will think we are playing a prank. Or that we’ve gone crazy. They’ll withdraw us from the race-”
“They wouldn’t do that-”
“How do you know?” Carlos interjects, his voice raising.
“Carlos...” Charles starts, taking a breath. “It will be a disaster. We will have to either learn to drive like each other, or else, entirely change our setups. It will be like...”
“Like learning to drive from scratch,” Carlos finishes for him.
“Exactly. This,” he says. “Impossible.”
“It’s not impossible, Charles. We’ve done it before. When we first got into an F1 car.”
“Yes, but-” Charles breaks off, scoffing. “You can’t be serious, Carlos.”
“What choice do we have?” he asks, and Charles doesn’t have an answer. “If we don’t know how to reverse this, then we have to focus on what we do know. We have under two weeks to get ready to drive each other’s cars, so...” He lifts his brows.
Charles sighs. He knows Carlos is right, but it means admitting that he’s gonna be stuck like this for longer.
“Okay, so...what now?”
WIP Wednesday
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gonna commit to writing a few shorties, just to get myself back into the swing of it 🫠
I finally came to, unblinking but definitely conscious, looking face up at a whole lot of ass.
Wait… My ass..?
“Whassup, Donovan?” I heard my deep voice say. My body scratched its head right before it turned around to face me, noticeably hard as a rock.
“What a trip, huh?” My body continued with a cheeky chuckle, said with the same perky cadence as my roommate, Jiao.
Fucking Jiao, I knew it! He’s always been into freaky shit and always ogled at me. Always with the homo shit, too... He orders shit online like money meant nothing to him, and... sure, I’ll admit that I’ve taken one or two things from his boxes when they’ve arrived in the mail, but only because I’m sure with his family money he wouldn’t be missing a lot. And so what? His designer clothes looked better on me anyways, especially how they hugged my frame due to his much smaller size. I thought that’s what the box on the coffee table contained when I opened it up this morning... some more of his hundred dollar clothing to add to my growing collection... but apparently not. I can only remember opening the box and... my fingers barely grazing whatever it was that was inside... and then nothing. Apparently, something much stranger was going on. I couldn’t move my head, I couldn’t move my lips, I couldn’t do anything. I was fucking paralyzed.
“Weird, huh?” He continued as I blasted through hundreds of obscenities and insults, each of them blazing through my head with red-hot fury but none of them able to come out of my mouth. “For a first-time transference? It’s… Whoo, boy, it’s a doozy. Feeling stiff? Feeling confused? It’s natural, don’t worry. But… Jesus, FUCK boy, your bod is fuckin’ TIGHT!” He said, shaking out my large arm muscles and reaching down to pick me up with a giggle.
He picked me up with incredible ease, as if I weighed nothing at all. I felt my fingers curl around me snugly, turning me over this way and that in the palm of my hand. What in the fuck was going on?? Why was I fitting around in his hand like a doll??
“Let’s take you on a little tour, hmm?” He grinned down at me. He hummed in my booming baritone as we walked towards the hallway to our rooms. Jiao stopped in front of the door to his own room and turned the handle. “And behind door number one...”
He opened the door to reveal his own body... Was it sleeping? Entranced? It certainly wasn’t moving, same stiff-as-a-board, lifeless state as I was currently in.
“Look familiar? I’ll just keep hanging out there until you and I are done here. But now... Ready to see the big reveal?” He grinned back down at me with that same knowing, dickish smirk. He walked towards his bathroom and I could see the reflection of my body walk into the mirror with that tall, glidy strut Jiao always had, but I couldn’t see my own reflection. Looking closely, I could see that he was holding.. some kind of action figure in his hand? Or was it a toy? But with that pink, pearlescent silicone, it looked like it could only be—
OH MY GOD.
“Love this new look of yours, by the way,” Jiao laughed out with a deep boom as he wiggled around the shiny, pink dildo between his fingers. As he wiggled, my vision went to and fro with the wiggle of the dildo. That FUCKING FAIRY turned me into one of his dildos!!
“Don’t worry though, babe, you’ll get back this sweet deliciousness,” he cooed, running a hand down my firm, hard-earned physique. ‘Babe,’ I hated when he called me that. “But first… we have a lot to do together.” He brought me up face-level to him, my own face staring back at me with giant-sized proportions.
“Oh man, you and I are about to get so much closer,” a slurred with a horny grin. He brought me closer to my own face and kissed around me with my soft, pillowy lips. After a few more kisses around the entirety of my new form, he paused for a moment but then rolled my massive tongue out to guide me into his mouth. I could see and feel the dark, warm, wet, fleshiness of the inside of my mouth around my body as he welcomed the top part of my new form into his mouth. He pulled me out with a strong exhale, a giant webby trail of his saliva tracing his mouth to me. He stared at me with this carnal, drunken look in his eyes—my eyes. Like a lion looking at meat.
‘Oh fuck,’ I thought, knowing if my eyes could roll they would.
“Oh fuck,” Jiao repeated hoarsely as if he heard me, fishing my rigid, fat cock out of my briefs, tugging it greedily and intensely as he opened his mouth wide open, plunging me deep into his throat.
As I felt the slick expanse of my new form slide deeply in and out of the fleshy, dark cavern of his mouth, I could feel a whirlwind of sensations. I felt his tongue lap hungrily around my form. I felt the vacuum-like suction of his mouth and throat pull my slightly stretchy form longer and thinner as I felt more of myself slide down his throat. I felt the booming vibrations of his ecstatic moans pulse through me.
He mouth-fucked himself with me for a while until he seemed to be getting close. At which point, he quickly pulled me out of his mouth and lowered me down to his crotch. There, he placed my new form right next to my body’s shaft—a hot, thick, veiny shaft, if I say so myself, though I’d never thought I’d be this close to it—and began to pump me and his shaft together with two hands. With a few more moaning, piston-like tugs, I came face to face with my own giant-sized cock head erupting a pressurized geyser of jizz into the air, spraying out in thick, spurting ropes and dousing the bathroom mirror with noisy splats. His hips seized with jerking thrusts as the last of it seeped out of him, with much of the residual creamy remains coating the entire side of my new form up against his shaft.
With heaving breaths of air, he lifted me up higher again until I was face level with him, widening his mouth open and extending his tongue out, bringing all of me into his mouth one last time with a final greedy suck. He tightened his lips around me as he pulled me out, making sure to ingest every little drop of spooge that found its way onto my body.
“Fuck you taste good,” he smiled with more heaving pants. “Well, not you you, that just tastes like silicone and chemicals… but your baby batter? Dude, I could bottle it up and chug it.” He winked as he pulled my briefs up over my deflating tool.
“Good thing I got that out of the way, too, it’ll make me last much longer,” he reasoned as he stepped out of the bathroom and out of the door towards my own bedroom. “Oh yeah, don’t think this is all over, gotta make back all that money you stole from me over the years. I couldn’t think of a better way!”
He walked into the bedroom and slapped me down onto the low dresser I kept in my room with the suction cup on the base of my form. As I waggled lazily in my upright position, I saw him saunter over to my desktop, waking up my monitor and finding his way online.
I could see over his—my—bulging shoulders that he’d made an OnlyFans account… but using my pics, my likeness, my name, my everything. He’d been planning this for a while, that conniving fucker… He opened the webcam, went live on the account, hit record, and gave a little welcoming speech to his new subscribers. As he talked, I could see him flexing different parts of my body, flaunting my muscles. He lied over and over again about his gym routine and his favorite muscle groups to work, flashing peeks and flexes for his eager fans. Watching him, pretending like he was me, like this was the real me doing something so flashy, so revealing… it made my blood boil.
“Why don’t I just give you people what you came for?” He finally interjected during the middle of his welcome. He slowly lowered the briefs he was wearing, and slowly, eventually revealed my thick cock and balls—still slick and shiny with our session not 5 minutes earlier—to the rest of the world, swinging them around and playing with him like they were his. Standing naked in front of the camera, he did little poses with soft groans between flexes, working my body like he’d always been in it. I could see the firm contours of my ass from my vantage point and wished more than anything that I could do something about my situation.
“Pretty fuckin’ big, right?” He asked the camera, swinging my pre-leaking rod. Goddamn it, I hated him. “But I wanna play with something else today.”
He went off camera for a second, slipping quickly into his room before he came back with a bottle of something. I watched him pound the bottle into my palm, my chest jiggling with the motion, as he opened the cap and squirted something into his palm. He walked over to me and lifted me off the dresser, my suction cup loudly detaching from the wood top. He ran his other hand up and down my form, and I could feel the slick, sticky, jelly-like substance in his hand lather me up from top to bottom. Of course, he squirted a little more and spread his cheeks for the camera, I’m assuming to surround his hole with some lube too, and crawled on top of my bed.
He groaned as he positioned himself downward, extending my firm, round ass into the air, resting on my thick thighs, and looked into the camera with a sly, sexy grin.
“I hope you guys like this as much as I do!”
He lifted me up behind him until I was head-on with my own spread cheeks, my ass hair looking lubed-up and sort of welcoming from this angle. Well, I suppose there wasn’t any fighting it at this point.
He pressed me against my own hole, and I could feel the tight muscles around the rim and the warm walls of my ass surrounding me. Finally, he exhaled and my hole widened enough for him to plunge me in, immediately feeling the tight, moist walls inside my hole surrounding me.
Last thing I remember as I swung in a piston motion in and out of my own virgin hole was the loud, ecstatic, mumbled moans of my own body from outside, relishing every second.
#male transformation#male tf#male body swap#body swap tf#body swap#male possession#possession#inanimate tf#inanimate#nerd to jock#revenge#human to inanimate tf#muscle#giant#macro#soft vore
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Blue Orchid
Flowers for Ishtar, Chapter 1
(Nonhuman!Mando x f!Reader) [+18!]
You’d had to bite down on the corner of your blanket when you thought of him pinning you to the wall or bending you over the dashboard, stuffing you full of his length while he groaned his praises in your ears until you were soaked.
This was not at all what you had imagined.
Next->
Summary: You discover your hunting partner isn't human, which in a galaxy far, far away isn't that strange until his alien needs become too much for him to hide.
Rating: Explicit as FUCK
Word count: 9.2k
Content warnings: Major kinks: breeding and pregnancy, eggs and oviposition, mpreg/fpreg, alien genitalia. Minor kinks: praise, eating and weight gain. Kink sprinkles: threw some things in like just a tad of sex pollen, hair pulling, spanking, a very brief daddy kink, the idea of a/b/o. There's a few more but if you're familiar with my writing you know what's up. Negatives: body horror, dysphoria.
A/N: Yeah... um... hm... So this is some weird shit but if you enjoyed Garden of Ishtar this will be right up your alley. If that was weird and creepy for you then this is not for you! You have been warned!!!
There’s something strange going on with your partner.
Mando, as he insisted on being called, even though that was clearly not his real name, had been acting differently recently. Though he was an odd one from the get-go, the burly, short-tempered, efficient hunter took some getting used to, but now something about him was off.
It was a strange partnership you’d gotten yourself into, ever since that day you had been sitting in the same cantina booth as him on Nevarro, arguing with Karga over the last available bounty puck.
“Karga, I’m not splitting a puck with this guy.” You’d barked, crossing your arms and leaning back with a huff. Next to you, the armored stranger grunted in agitated agreement, his plated shoulders catching the light as they stiffened. You didn’t know each other, and as far as you could tell the only thing you both had in common was that you both worked for the Guild.
“Well that’s too bad!” The old agent stated, shaking his head. “This is the last one I’ve got until next month, so unless one of you wants to wait until then, this is all I have left. You're going to have to work together as a team.”
“Unless I kill her first.” The iron giant said coldly, not even looking your way.
“I’d like to see you try.” A knife flew from your belt to the table as you buried the tip of it in the faux wood counter, glaring daggers with your eyes at his shiny metal head.
“Easy now, we’re all friends here! Can’t have my two best hunters fighting, or killing each other…”
“Bullshit, I’m the best hunter here, Kargsy, and you know it.” Fury seethed from your words, but it was seemingly lost on the other man. “Tinman here can go fuck himself.”
“You kiss your mother with that mouth?”
“No, but I fuck yours with it!”
Greef slammed a fist down on the table, making the trio of spotchka glasses bounce and spill. “That’s enough, either you two figure out how to play nice or neither of you will be getting this puck, or any other pucks for that matter! And that’s final!”
That was six months ago.
Despite your differences, the pair of you made for a terrifying duo, between his heavily armored body and your quick, nimble blades, it was like hell itself had released its most deadly demons. The bounty was found, hunted, and captured so quickly and easily that the minute the Razor Crest touched back down on Nevarro you were both excitedly harassing Karga for more.
Your newfound companion didn’t talk much, but what he didn’t say with his words he made up for with his actions. He gave you a little backstory, filling you in on his Mandalorian heritage and what that meant regarding his helmet and armor, and you were fine with the condition that he would never show his face around you. What he did show you was how lethal he could be, a whirlwind of blasters and beskar, an immovable object that coupled neatly with your unstoppable force.
It was poetry in motion.
Bounties fell at your feet like wheat before the scythe, wracking up credits like Kessel-running smugglers which you both blew on firearms and vibroblades as if the galaxy was ending tomorrow. What didn’t go towards guns and ammo went towards food and fuel, the Crest blasting off of Nevarro again and again and again.
As time went on, you slowly started to warm up to each other. You couldn’t really say you were friends, just work partners that happened to be flawlessly efficient at what they did. It was a fine arrangement, but over time small, but significant changes between you started to catch your attention.
You’d pinned a bounty, a large, malodorous Twi’lek that nearly squirmed out from your grasp, only to earn themselves a vicious cold-clocking to the back of their tentacled skull. Breath heavy and eyes burning with aggression, you’d slogged the captive into the carbonite freezer like you were taking out the trash, your wanton strength not going unnoticed by your companion.
“Good job.” Mando had said with a tilt of his helmet, watching your chest heave with adrenaline. “Such a strong verd’ika, can’t wait to see what you do to the next guy.” He’d never complimented you up to that point, if he spoke to you at all. It’d caught you off guard, but in a good way, and you knew right then you wanted to hear him say it again.
So you kept doing a good job.
And you did it on purpose.
The next bounty you held in place while Mando punched their lights out, holding steadfast against the living sledgehammer that was your partner, wincing every time you felt his fists explode against the Aqualish’s exoskeleton. When they’d keeled over, you let them fall to the floor, jumping slightly when Mando patted your shoulder, impressed with your ability to hold your own.
He seemed kind, when he wasn’t retaliating against your snide remarks or beating the living shit out of a bounty. Often when it was just the two of you he was almost soft spoken, asking you if you got enough to eat or if your wounds needed tending to, but not once did he ever make a pass at you.
That was somewhat of a surprise, but you didn’t even know what species he was, so there was a good chance you weren’t even on his sexual radar. He looked human, he obviously wasn’t a Togruta or a Twi’ with that helmet, and he was too tall to be a Rodian or Ugnaught. Too broad to be Gungan.
He was humanly proportioned to a sinful degree, his wide armored shoulders and cinched waist giving you wicked thoughts in the late hours. Even his fucking voice did something to you, the deep, gravelly husk of it almost reverberated in your chest when he spoke, and more than once you wished it would vibrate for you somewhere else.
But you were just two hunters making a living, nothing more.
Recently, however, something had started to change; and it wasn’t something that you liked. You weren’t buddy-buddy, but in the recent weeks his demeanor had started to wane. Mando was always private, taking his meals alone and keeping the fresher door locked when in use, but even when he wasn’t dealing with the necessary inconveniences of being alive he was starting to avoid you more and more.
At first you let him have his space, it was none of your business what was bothering him if he wasn’t going to speak up about it. But as the weeks seemed to drag on his temper began to flare more often, his sentences getting even shorter than they already were, his words sharp and vindictive.
You let it slide until he was rude to a merchant in a Bespin market, demanding more food rations than what he was being offered. Mando had left the market with so much dried meat and canned vegetables that it was falling out of his satchel, leaving a breadcrumb trail of bantha-in-a-can as he stormed back to the ship.
He was eating more often, too, squirreling himself away from your campfires or tucking himself up in either his sleeping cubby or the cockpit; whichever was further away from you at the time. You had your own space in the upstairs part of the Crest where he’d strung a ramshackle hammock for you, but it was so close to her reactors that you frequently woke up sweaty whenever you were in hyperspace.
On one such occasion you decided to sneak over to the ladder hatch when he thought you were sleeping, carefully peeking into the hold below. You could see him in his alcove, but just barely, only his back visible to you from your vantage point. He was eating, a lot. You watched his back and shoulders heave with each desperate bite of food, gorging himself as if he’d been lost in the desert for weeks.
The next cycle he kept his back to you almost constantly, like he was trying to hide something from view, but there were very little private spaces in the ship, especially while the stars streaked by overhead. Try as he might, he couldn’t hide his secret from your prying eyes, though you weren’t surprised with what you saw after watching him eat like there was no tomorrow.
He was gaining weight.
It was just a little at first, maybe just an illusion brought on by some extra layers of clothing; hyperspace was chilly, after all. However it soon became obvious as his extra warmth began to pudge over his belt and upset his armor that it wasn’t all fluff. You checked the larder after he went up to the cockpit to work on the navigation, and you were alarmed to find that almost half of your rations were already used up after having left Bespin only three cycles ago.
Something was definitely up with your partner.
You were watching him now from where you sat on one of the supply crates, toying with a vibroblade while he rigorously cleaned a plate of his armor, his back turned to you. His beskar was spotless, nary a drop of blood or spec of dust remained. He was just trying to distract himself from his newfound curves, but you were starting to get frustrated.
It was time to get to the bottom of this.
“Hey, are you feeling alright? You’ve been acting-”
“I’m fine.” he barked, the aggression behind his words making you jump. You weren’t afraid of him, or he of you. Your partnership was mutually beneficial and respected, and it wasn’t like him to be so short with you in close quarters. You weren’t having any of it.
“That’s crap and you know it, something's up with you, I can tell. You wanna talk about it?” Though he wasn’t looking your way, you cast your eyes at his pudge muffin, hoping he would catch your implications without you having to put it into words.
He said nothing, instead he rose from his seat and hurried up the ladder to the flight deck, sealing the airlock behind him.
You didn’t see him again until the ship dropped from hyperspace.
It was a quiet couple of days, and fucking boring too. Mando didn’t even come down to use the fresher or grab food, which made you nervous after seeing him stress eating like he had been. The Crest touched down on Jedha not far from an enormous crater that the Empire had put there in its heyday, but even when the engines went quiet, the blast door remained sealed.
“Mando? You still alive in there?” You asked tentatively with your ear pressed to the door, rapping your knuckles against the durasteel.
“Fine.”
“Are you coming out?”
There was a long pause, then: “...No.”
You grumbled and donked your head against the door. “Are you gonna make me go get this bounty myself?” He didn’t answer, which unfortunately meant the answer to your question was ‘yes’. You sighed heavily like you’d heard him do innumerable times. “You suck. Do you need anything before I head out?”
“No, thank you verd’ika.”
He was still alive, and talking, so those were both good signs, but you couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong with him during your entire hunt. The bail jumper you were after came quietly, which on a regular day would make you angry that you had even wasted fuel for such a lame chase, but you were anxious to get back to your partner.
You marched the delinquent up the ramp and goaded them into the freezer, filling the little cabin with carbonite fog. Though you were making a hell of a racket, you still hollered up the ladder before climbing it, only to find the cockpit empty. Nervously you searched the upper floor, checking everywhere from your hammock to the fuselage, but he was nowhere to be seen.
Jumping down the ladder, you quickly scanned the hold, only to realize that you’d run right past him. The door to his cubby was closed, like it always was even when he wasn’t in it, but outside on the floor near the entrance were piles of empty food tins. Horrified, you checked the larder, your eyes going all the way to the bottom of the crate. He ate everything!
“Mando! I’m back! Open up!” You yelled, pounding your fist on the door, not giving a flying fuck if he was asleep. Something was very, very wrong.
“You’re back already?” He called, his voice weak and hoarse behind the door, making your blood run cold. Oh Maker no, don’t tell me he’s sick.
“Yeah, and I’m worried about you! Open this damn door before I rip it off its rails.”
“You need to leave. You can’t be here.”
“‘Scuse me? Fucker I live here! I’m not-”
“Please, you’re not safe.” He pleaded, his voice sounded broken and desperate, like he was trying to choke something back.
“Not safe? Mando you’re not making any sense, I already took care of the bounty, they-”
“You’re not safe from me!”
A weird mix of emotions flooded through you, first the worry for the health of your partner, the confusion at his panic, and suddenly the rage that burned behind your eyes at the mere notion of him thinking you couldn’t peel him apart like a can of sardines.
You’d had enough.
“Fuck you, chum bucket, this ends right now! Hope you’ve got pants on because I’m coming in!”
“No! Don’t, please!”
“HERE I COME!” You bellowed as you slammed your fist into the glowing button panel on the wall, deaf to his fretful protests. The metal grate rattled as it rolled upwards, and briefly your eyes caught the back of his head right before his helmet sank down over the dark curls that he kept secret. The fact that he even had hair was the least startling thing of all.
What hit you first was the smell.
Inside the sleeping cubby where the Mandalorian was hurriedly scuttling into the deepest reaches, the pungent scent of...something hurtled through your synapses. It didn’t stink, quite the opposite, it smelled delicious. Warm and rich, like honey on fruit sitting out on a beautiful summer day, the alien aroma making your mouth water.
“What the fuck is that smell?” you roared at the man huddled as far away from you as he could get, his body lost to the shadows behind the scattering of armor he had discarded. You didn’t like that one bit, feeling something akin to pity at his doubled-over, armorless frame. You sniffed the air again, taking deep, greedy inhalations and trying to decipher what the fuck was going on. “Are you eating starfruit?! You fuckhole! You’re snacking without me!”
“Please leave me alone.” He grumbled, wedging himself even harder against the back wall. “I’m fine, really, I just want to be alone.”
“Well that’s just too fuckin’ bad, you’re sick, and the least you could do is tell me what’s wrong. I have a right to know if my partner is gonna up and die on me.” He pleaded again, his voice sounding whiny even through his vocorder, but you were having none of it. “I’m coming in.”
“Dammit all, why won't you leave me alone?!” He was yelling now, but in his anger he turned enough towards you that you could see his front, making you gasp.
Big.
“Holy fucking shit, Mando, are you… are you pregnant?!” Hidden by his broad backside no longer, his protruding belly caught the light, jiggling a bit when he wrapped his arms around it.
“No! I mean… sorta…”
“The fuck do you mean sorta?!” you were screaming now, blown away by his swollen guts and the fact that he was very much not pregnant only a few days ago. “What the hell is that then?!”
He was caught now, you’d seen his shame and there was no going back. “They’re… they’re my eggs.”
You stood a moment, staring at him while your mouth flopped uselessly like a dying fish. Welp, there’s your answer, he is not human. There were lots of sentient species in this great big galaxy you called home, many of which produced offspring via eggs, so you weren’t as surprised by that as you were by the suddenness of it. Of... him.
Mando rubbed at his belly, curling in on himself as if doing so would shrink him down into nothingness where he could disappear into oblivion. “Please, it’ll pass, I’ve just… I’ve never had anyone around me while I...grmph... deal with it.”
His groan of pain broke your stare, pumping determination into your legs along with the burn of adrenaline. “Do… do you need help? Is there anything I can do for you?” You leaned forward into the alcove, reaching for him. “Are you in pain?”
“...I-I’m f-fine.” He shirked away from you, avoiding your touch. “Happens every couple of years, just...hmmph… it’s not usually… so much.”
Now you were just plain fascinated, climbing up slowly on your hands and knees, trying to be delicate. “Mando, I’m your partner, I’m not just gonna stand around while you suffer. Tell me what I can do to help.” The warrior flinched hard when your fingers found his shoulder, reflexively protecting his belly. “I’m not gonna hurt you.”
“Cyar’ika, please, I don’t want to...hmmph… do anything that I-I’ll regret.”
“You already ate all our fucking food, what more could you do to piss me off?” You said with a laugh, trying to break the tension. Carefully you brushed your hand along his clothed shoulder, a thin smile dancing over your lips when you felt him shudder.
“You shouldn’t touch me, I’m dangerous.”
“You ain’t shit, and I’ve seen how you’ve stiched my wounds closed, you won’t hurt me. I know you.”
“No you don’t!” He screamed, flipping around all the way to try and shoo you out of the cubby, but his hefty gut kept him rooted in place. You couldn’t help but stare at his rounded middle, his flack coat straining to keep zipped shut as the weight of him wobbled delightfully. It made you laugh.
“Mando! You’re gonna be a m... da... parent! You’re gonna be a parent! Why didn’t you tell me?! I would have baked you a cake.”
“It’s.. it’s never been this bad.” he stuttered, consigning himself to the fact that he was stuck with you. “I grow a clutch every year or so, but it’s usually just a handful of... them.” he hissed with an air of disgust, shame creeping into his voice. “They pass without much issue, but it’s never been this much.”
“What do the other Mandalorians do when this happens?”
He shook his head, guarding his middle. “Mandalorian isn’t a race, it’s a creed. The Mandalorians rescued me after an army of droids killed my parents and everyone else in my village. I… I don’t know what species I am, and neither does my clan. There’s no record of my village, or where they found me, and I can’t find anything on the holonet about… this.” His visor tilted down to his tummy. “I might be the last of my kind.”
“Mando, that's terrible, but I’m sure there’s more of you somewhere. There’s gotta be! Maybe if you took off your helmet I could see-”
“No, helmet stays on. I don’t need to add the indignity of a broken creed to this mess. Now please, mesh’la I’m begging you, lock me in here and let me ride this out alone. I don’t know if I could live with myself if I hurt you.”
You scuttled closer on your knees until you were right up against him, cautiously reaching out towards his swell. His visor snapped at you, his body flinching harder into the corner, but he was trapped. “Why do you think you’ll hurt me?” You whispered as your palm met the straining fabric cradling his shameful secret.
He grabbed your wrist so hard you felt your bones grind from the strength of his grip. “Because…” he growled, the timbre of it so low you felt a shiver run down your spine. “Because I don’t know what I am, but I know I need to put these eggs somewhere, and I want...I need to put them… inside…” He trailed off when a painful contraction shook his body, making him let go of you to hold himself together. “Get out now! It’s starting… please I can handle this alone but if you’re near me… I don’t know what I’ll do!”
“Shut’cher gob and tell me what to do, and don’t tell me to leave because I won’t!” You didn’t know jack shit about human births, let alone alien gestation, but you’d been through some fucked up situations, what’s one more for good measure? “I’m guessing you need to get your pants off.” His breathing was heavy, his helmet tilting with each laboured heave, but he nodded and started to fumble with the zipper of his trousers.
Your heart leapt to your throat. In the darkness of your hammock you’d imagined what it would be like to undress him, taking each of his beskar plates off and trailing your fingers down his tight clothes, revealing the man underneath like unwrapping a gift. With your fingers lost between your legs you’d pictured his muscular shoulders and broad chest, maybe even a trail of dark hair that led you all the way down his beefy abdomen to his thick, heavy cock. You’d had to bite down on the corner of your blanket when you thought of him pinning you to the wall or bending you over the dashboard, stuffing you full of his length while he groaned his praises in your ears until you were soaked.
This was not at all what you had imagined.
His gloves and his girth were giving him a hard time, so diligently you stepped in to help him undress. Your nimble fingers found the button and zipper with ease, the heat of his groin making your cheeks flush rosy pink, and then red when you pulled the zipper across the bulge in his pants and flooded the tiny nook with the perfume of his sex.
The hair surprised you, you didn’t think that an egg-bearing creature would even have curls, but there they were. Dark brown and soft against your fingertips, growing from lovely, sun-bronze skin, but that was the last of his human traits from there on. Ultimately, you were expecting a cock, horrified by the implications of what that meant in this situation, but as the zipper’s teeth continued to split, your eyes were greeted with something that made your guts flip.
It was fucking blue.
The thing sitting heavily between his legs was the prettiest ocean blue you had ever seen, with coils of deep indigo veins running up it’s length between bands of bioluminesce. Long, thick, and glowing, Mando’s half-hard trouser meat sprang out of his open pants, a relieved sigh wheezing through his modulator. It was shaped like a wang dangler all the way up to the head, but there it was something else.
At his tip a circle of petal-shaped protrusions cinched together like the blossom of a flower right before it bloomed. The knobbed end of his thingy wept with clear juices, beading deliciously from between each little bud. Your eyes were locked to a particularly fat drop of precum as it slicked down his length to his base where you found another feast for your eyes.
A hole.
He didn’t have balls, you guessed they were somewhere inside him, instead he had a fat, juicy cunt, his quivering cock growing from where a clit would be on a human. It was just as alien as his length, a dark cobalt that lightened to vibrant teal around sharp teeth that lined his widely spread folds. Those rightfully made you nervous, and fucking confused. What the hell are those supposed to latch on to? Me?!
“I’m disgusting, I know.” He whispered, turning away from you to study the wall while you studied his excitables.
“What? No you’re not, you’re… you’re beautiful.” He snapped back towards you, his visor searching your star-struck eyes for the hint of a lie, but there wasn’t one. He was looking at you, but you weren't looking at him, you were looking at him, straight through his groin into his vulnerable soul. There was just so much, and you wanted to touch all of it. Reflexively you licked your lips, wondering if he tasted as good as he smelled. Your fingers crept forward, hovering inches from his cerulean length. “Can I?”
A sharp inhale echoed in the cubby, followed by a stark nod. “Be gentle… it’s... argh… sensitive!”
“Shhh, Mando, I’ve got you. I’m gonna take good care of you.” Your fingertips met his heated flesh, making him shudder and groan. His strange length twitched from your touch, making another pearl of precum shimmer from the tip. You wrapped your hand around him, stroking the velvety length that weighed heavily against your palm. His helmet hit the wall with a deep, guttural moan, sending molten waves of heat to your own growing need.
“Fuuuuuuuuuuck mesh’la...your hands are amazing.” The man purred, letting his arms fall from his belly to his sides where his fists tangled in the threadbare sheet. His hips thrust upwards into your slow tugs, rutting into your palm. In the tight quarters the mouthwatering scent of honeyed fruit grew stronger until you were sucking down your own spit to keep it from flooding your mouth.
“Hehe, yeah? You like this?” You flicked your wrist in languid spirals, running your thumb over the weeping blossom to drag warm slick down his length and towards your second goal. His toothy slit parted for you as you got closer, the pearly white fangs curling away from you safely. With one hand still on his beef, you rubbed your fingertips around his flushed hole, sinking a digit down to the knuckle.
“Yes.” he moaned breathlessly, his womb jiggling when he convulsed from your touch. You sank another finger inside, scissoring him open while you fisted his cock. “K-keep doing that and... and…” His heels scooted on the mattress when he clenched around you, his swelling length pulsating in your hand. A needy whine busted out of his modulator, and between your sunken digits you felt something grow.
“Go ahead, Mando, come on my hand, or in my hand, I don’t care. That’s a good boy.” He bucked into your steady thrusts, lost in the combination of filling and being filled. His walls fluttered around your fingers, and you felt something press against you when he bore down, but instead of something popping out of his cunt, something went up his length.
*Pop!*
From the tip of his spear, a bright orange ball sprang from him, surprising you so much you let go of his throbbing shaft and pulled your fingers from his slit. Excitedly you plucked the egg from where the halo of petals parted, presenting the orb to you like a priceless gem. “You did it! Look, Mando, it’s a… ball! Congratulations.” You were beaming, so proud of yourself for midwifing him through the process, but he was shaking his head.
“There’s more… and… and I’m starting to get desperate. You got me started, I can take it from here. Thank you for your help.”
“I’m not leaving til you’re done, but let me go find a bucket or something to… oh no!” In your hand the soft shelled egg started to dissolve and wither in the dry air, turning into goo that dribbled down your arm. “Oh shit! Oh shit Mando I’m so sorry! I-I don’t know w-what happened!”
“No no… It's alright.” He shook his head, bringing a hand up to caress his swell. “They never make it. It’s ok though, it's not like they’re fertilized. Please leave me now, your hands aren’t going to tide me over for long, and I don’t want to do something I’ll regret.”
“You keep saying that! I don’t understand, why do you think that you’ll-”
“Because I want to breed you.” The singular black eye of his visor snapped viciously towards you, making you pale. “I’m sorry, but it’s all I can think about. It’s been getting worse the closer I’ve gotten to my heat, but I don’t want to do that to you, I respect you too much. Please… forgive me.” He looked away from you shamefully, but his luminous length was still pulsing with the rapid beating of his heart. “I think being around you is why I’m so full, you’re just so damn beautiful… a-and I want you.”
Maybe it was the sickenly-sweet spice that he was putting off, or the cum soaking your hands, or even the vulgar fantasies that you imagined to yourself in the night, but you were intrigued. “You wanna do what now?”
“Breed you.” He growled, his voice so dark and sinful everything inside you clenched around nothing. “Fucking stars ever since you stabbed the cantina table I’ve wanted to be inside you. Feel your pretty little pussy squeezing me, hear those sweet moans you make when you’re alone at night… yes I can hear you. You’re louder than you think you are. But I want to be the one making you scream.” His growls turned to forced laughter. “I wish I’d gotten to before...this.”
“I don’t mind this…” You hummed, dragging your fingers along his velvety length, but he caught your wrist again, shaking his head.
“Stop, before I can’t hold back anymore.”
“Maybe I don’t want you to hold back.” You batted your lashes at him and bit your lip, leaning seductively towards his hunkered body. “Maybe I wouldn’t mind.”
“I don’t want to hurt you, and I don’t know what I’d do to you, what my… ugh… eggs… would do to your body.”
“Maybe we should… find out?”
“You don’t know what you're asking.”
“Neither do you.” With that you rolled forward to kiss at his big blue eel, making him curse out your name and grab a fistful of your hair.
“Mesh’la…”
You hummed and lapped at his crown, his nectar tasting even better than it smelled. Sweet and succulent, driving you crazy with need. Your venomous tongue could be so kind when it wanted to be, swirling around his knobbled head and flicking at his frenulum. Beneath you he was a mess, writhing and bucking with desperation. Lips slick with spit, you sank your mouth as far down as you could take him without gagging, fisting the rest with one hand and teasing his cunt with the other.
Fingers digging into your scalp, Mando fought the urge to fuck your throat raw, your obscene sucking threatening to toss him right over the edge. You hollowed your cheeks and spun your tongue, lapping around each sensitive bean and plunging into his slit to drink him down.
His muscles swelled and clenched with another pass, and you barely were able to pull your mouth away when a new sphere spat out his tip, rolling away from you to melt elsewhere. “Mando, they’re going to waste, what are we going to do about that?”
“Take your fucking clothes off so I can fuck them into you, pretty girl.” He was gone, the husk of his voice making the hair on the back of your neck stand on end. “Let me breed you properly, make you mine. Show you what it means to be mated by a Mandalorian.”
You obeyed, rocking back on your haunches to peel your shirt away, releasing your breasts into the hot, steamy space. The black swath of void where his eyes should be drank in the sight of you as if you were the last glass of water on Tatooine, his hand coming up to pinch at your pert nipple. “These are beautiful. I’ve dreamed about these for so long, but they’re so much better in person.”
“They taste better, too.” You crawled over top of him, your knees in between his, waving the heavy dewdrops in front of his armored face. “You wanna?”
“My creed…”
“Party pooper. Fine, then you better help me open up, you’re packin’ more than I think I can fit.” You’d taken lovers before, once you’d even taken a Wookie on a drunken dare, and if it wasn’t for the persistent wet dog smell it might have been the best sex you’d ever had. But Mando was thick, and even thicker when his cock swelled to push out an egg.
“Are you really ok with this? You’re not just saying…”
“Mando~” You purred, pressing your softness against his pulsating length, shivering when you felt his fangs scrape your thighs. “Breed me. They’ll just melt back out anyway, what’s a little...fun?”
He reached a hand up tentatively to your face, his helmet shaking slightly from side to side while he hunted in your eyes for any resistance, any clue that you were just saying that to make him feel better, but he found none.
“How did I get so lucky…”
“You’re about to get even more lucky.” You teased, taking his hand from your cheek to pry the black and yellow glove off, chucking it somewhere behind you. The flesh of his hand matched the flesh of his groin, a soft golden tone that looked like it was kissed by the sun, but not once had you ever seen him bare an inch. It was also very human, looking much like your own, save for the length and thickness of his fingers and the dark hair that grew from his knuckles. They were very much the hands of a man.
Yay!
Your pants fell away next, disappearing out of the cubby and onto the floor with the collection of empty ration tins and discarded armor. Naked as the day you were born, you clambered over him and flopped against his side, letting your legs fall open. “Touch me, Mando, get me nice and ready to be bred.” He growled against you, rolling on his side and cradling you to his chest so he could easily sink his fingers into your fluttering heat.
“Fucking stars, you’re soaked. This all for me?” You nodded and whined, your eyes rolling back when he dove one finger inside, then a second, curling them upwards to find that hidden patch of nerves you could never really reach on your own. “Gonna get you nice and open, make you cum so you can take my clutch. Would you like that, mesh’la, want me to fill you up? Swell your belly full?”
You mewled at the debauchery of it all, blissed out of your mind as he finger fucked you relentlessly. His fingers sank into you all the way to the knuckle, his thumb drawing tight, diligent circles on your clit. Mando snaked his free arm under your neck, pulling you in close to his muscular body and leaning his helmet against your brow. The cold metal burned against your sweating forehead, the steam of his breath coiling out from under the sharp iron edge with every ragged breath.
“That’s it, come for me, beautiful. Almost there.” Your nails dug into his clothed shoulders and made you realize he was way more dressed than you were. Need to fix that. With shaking knees you squirmed and writhed on his slick hand until he brought you over the edge, your walls trying to break his fingers as you came, drenching the thin sheets. “Good girl, such a perfect little cunt. Give me one more, cyar’ika.” All his gentleness evaporated as he thrust into you, his thumb pressed to your sensitive button and making you fall apart all over again.
“Fuck me, Mando, please! I want you in me, you’re not the only one with wet dreams, y’know.” He rumbled a laugh and pulled his arm out from under your neck and his fingers from your sopping mess, dragging the wet of it across your bare thigh. Hauling himself up, he moved until he was between your legs, pulling his remaining glove off and working to undo his flack.
With bated breath you watched him hurriedly undress, wondering what other fun alien treats he was keeping from you. As the dark fabric fell away, your eyes were gifted with the sight of his body, though besides the wandering blue tiger stripes and his obvious non-human bits, he was remarkably close to a man.
Except for the parts of him that were glowing.
Strings of faint teal lights followed the flow of his body, mixed intermittently with yellow stars. It wasn’t enough to illuminate the little alcove, but it was a beautiful sight nonetheless, a constellation of stars you could call your very own.
His chest was wide and muscular, a trail of dark brown hair dusting down his sternum and over the swell of his middle. His arms and shoulders looked like tree trunks, ribbons of countless scars marring his flesh with shimmering whites and pinks. Pushing his pants all the way off gave you an even better view, though he had considerably more glow streaks further down his legs, spanning from the sapphire spire around his hips.
He was fucking gorgeous.
What does his face look like, then?
“You’ll tell me if I hurt you, right?” He asked sweetly, grabbing his beast and dragging the leaking head against your thirsty little cunt. You bucked your hips up to him, trying to notch him in your entrance, but he pressed his tip into your clit to make you writhe. “Tell me, I need to hear it.”
“Yes, Mando, now please please fuck...me!!” He snapped forward and thrust his appendage into you, bottoming right out even though his full tummy was in the way. He held himself still, his body shivering with delight as your excited walls rippled around him. Deep inside you felt the little buds at his tip teasing at the tight ring of muscle that protected your innermost sanctum, politely asking for entry.
“Fuck-ing Maker, I knew you would feel good, but...ah… so much better than I ever imagined.” You giggled at him, reaching out and rubbing the taut flesh of his abdomen where it sat heavily against your own, rocking your hips side to side. His fingers dug into the skin of your knees with a broken curse, trying to hold you still. “Keep doing that and I’m gonna…”
“What? This?” You arched your hips into his, trying to coax him into gear. “I didn’t know you were such a tease, tinman.” His helmet vibrated with a growl before he was sliding himself out, making sure you felt every inch of his length drag along your walls. The head of it almost managed to drop out, sitting tantalizingly at your gates before thrusting into you with reckless abandon.
You shrieked, impaled on his otherworldly spire again and again, the noise of it wetly echoing in the cubby. Above you he grunted with the strain, hooking his elbows under your knees and going to town. You were helpless, head rolling back, eyes fluttered shut as he filled you over and over again, moaning out his name.
Though he was lost in the heat of the moment, he wished the name on your lips was his real name, the one he had sequestered away when he took his oaths. Din. He fantasized about it in the night, the short syllable tumbling from your full lips, wet from sucking him dry. Din! He wanted to snuff out the sound of it with his own mouth, capturing your tongue and tasting you fully, plundering the hot wet hole that would so beautifully sing his song.
“Din!”
But Mando would have to do.
For now.
Both of you could feel he was getting close to something, his thrusts quickening with his breath. You felt your heartbeat gallop in your chest, thundering against the walls of its cage with excitement. He was gasping, struggling to pull oxygen in through the iron that protected his face. Hips snapped against yours, the slap of skin sounding obscene in the little space. You arched your back and bore down on him, your coiled muscles milking out his release.
And then you fucking felt it.
The clever little buds on his tip stuffed themselves into the cradle of your body, teasing your cervix open and leaving something behind. Inside you felt the soft little ball swell your womb sweetly, giving you a feeling of fullness you’d never experienced before. You keened from the sensation, bringing your hands up to your belly, searching for your treasure.
“Are you alright? Am I hurting you?” Mando asked urgently between broken breaths, a weathered palm coming up to caress your face. You tittered and nodded, his relieved sigh felt through your legs and stomach.
“Got any more for me, big boy?” You purred, dragging your nails through the soft hair on his bulging abdomen where he obviously did.
“You’re going to ruin me, cyar’ika.” The pulsating length stuffed inside you slid out slowly, stringing a line of precum from your slick heat to his flushed blue tip. “Get on your knees and I’ll show you how much more there is.”
Scrambling out from under him, you flipped yourself over like a slutty little pancake, presenting your ass in front of him to feast on with his eyes. The rough pads of his fingers dug viciously into your fleshy globes, making both of you groan. “Gonna give you all of me, beautiful. Tell me you want that?” He was trying to be dirty, but the sincerity in his voice made your heart flood with honeyglow.
“I want it, tinman, I wanna be full!”
A dark, lecherous laugh rumbled behind you while he lined himself up, rubbing himself over your slit before plunging in. Stars flashed behind your eyes when he hit your deepest reaches again, making you drop to your elbows. He circled the bones of your hips with his hands, squeezing and rubbing at your waist while you adjusted to the new angle. Impatiently you clenched around him, earning yourself a stinging swat on your backside that made you squeal.
“Bad girl, you have to wait.” He growled behind you, making you whine and earning yourself another spanking that was followed by a soothing palm. “You gonna be a good girl while I breed you?”
“Yes, daddy.”
“‘Scuse me?”
“-snrt!-” You were having too much fun now, begging underneath him for friction with a roll of your hips, giggling through the cock-dumb grin on your face. “I’ll be good~”
“I know you will.” He slid forward, the angle hitting something destructive inside you, and you could tell he felt it. Memorizing your insides, he rocked forward again and again, building you up higher and higher to make you squirm. Fisting the sheets you cried when the lightning cracked up your spine, your cunt squeezing the life out of him and soaking him through. Your orgasm sucked another egg from his cock, the gentle weight sitting pretty next to the first.
“More…” you mumbled into the mattress, curving your ass up and brushing the underside of his swell. “Please…”
“You’re fucking perfect, mesh’la, so perfect for me.” His voice behind you sounded wildly different, lacking the gravelly modulation you’d grown used to, replaced with a rich baritone that tied your guts up in knots. Curiosity almost got the better of you, but before you could turn around to look at his bare face he covered your eyes, his broad palm spanning the entire width of your face. “No peeking. Be a good girl or you won’t get any more.”
He set his empty helmet down by your head, giving you something to look at if you could keep your eyes open, but his filthy cadence made your eyeballs roll back til they were gawking at your brain. Mando plowed you like his life depended on it, his fuckstick swelling inside your walls with each pass of his spend.
Reaching back, you rubbed your steadily-filling middle, the weight of his brood already making you show. Your devious digits kept going, fingertips teasing around where he melded into you, your lips stretched tightly around him. He jumped when you stuffed your hand back even further, careful not to catch on his goddamn crotchteeth to finger his cunt.
“Mesh’la!” He cried, bucking into you and pushing at least three more eggs into your womb with a single thrust. Above you he curled against your spine, his belly flattening while yours continued to swell. His arms left your hips to snake up your body, crossing between your breasts like a seatbelt and hauling you up off your elbows to his chest. Buckle up, buttercup! His sweaty pecs stuck to your spine while he kissed at the side of your neck.
You wanted so badly to look.
Instead you closed your eyes and let yourself get lost in the passionate kisses he pressed to your skin, his teeth grazing the tender flesh under your jaw. The fact that he even had lips crossed a few dozen species off of your list of possibilities, and even more when you felt the tickle of facial hair. Mando’s heated kisses tracked up your throat to nibble at your ear, his thrusting getting messy behind you.
“Can you cum for me again, beautiful? I wanna feel it.” The hand between your breasts slid up to your throat, pressing ever so gently while the second found your clit and spun devious little circles. His scruffy beard scraped your shoulder as you writhed on him, tears springing to your eyes with your crashing orgasm. “Mmph, that’s my good girl. So fucking perfect!”
His hips stuttered, slapping against your ass with a final burst, the fill of him swelling your middle to capacity, bouncing with fullness. Heavy, desperate breaths puffed against your skin as he came down from his high, caressing you with his hands and the sharp point of his chin; mumbling praises in your ear. “I didn’t think you could get any more beautiful, look at you…”
At his purring you flickered an eye open, looking down past your breasts at where you were swollen with his clutch as if you were swollen with child. His broad palms danced along the taut flesh, sliding from your precious tummy to the drops of your breasts, his hums of contentment rumbling between you. His chest and abdomen were flush with your spine, his body returned to its natural shape while yours had changed so drastically.
Between your legs his spent cock throbbed, making your combined arousal drip down onto the destroyed mattress when it softened and released. You whined from the loss, whining louder when he sneaked his fingers inside, feeling your stretched walls and musing about how wonderful you felt.
You reached forward for his helmet, handing it back to him and trying not to look at the warped reflection of his face in its sloping surfaces. He took it from you gently, letting it sink over his face so you could get off of your knees. You flopped heavily over on your butt, sitting upright and petting your full womb with a blissed out look on your face.
He laid next to you, holding you close to his body as if you were his cute little wife expecting your first baby together, and not a pair of interspecies hunters giving in to your primordial needs. You leaned against him, sighing contently and watching his serpent retreat into his body, the rows of teeth biting together and showing you why he didn’t wear codpiece with his armor.
“That’s fuckin’ weird, dude.” You laughed, brushing a fingertip along the glistening enamel.
He winced behind you. “I know, I’m sorr-”
“No, I like it.” you crooned, nuzzling your face into the crook of his neck. “That was fun. How often did you say this happens?”
“About once a year, but… uh… I can still get hard, without a clutch, if that’s what you’re asking?” You nodded with a laugh, curling up against his side so your full womb rested on his hip. He sighed contentedly, drawing circles on your belly with his fingers. “How does this feel? Does it hurt?”
“No, not at all, actually feels good. Feels full. I like it, I’m almost sad that it’s not gonna last.”
“Me too, you look so good like this. I could get used to it.” You hummed in agreement, shifting your legs apart so that when the eggs withered and turned to goo they could easily make their way out.
Should be any second now.
The two of you waited, laying together in post-coital bliss, just enjoying the feel of each other’s bodies, tracing scars and stars, exploring the wonders you’d kept secret from each other.
You waited.
And waited.
The minutes ticked by, at first it was a blessing, giving you time to bask in the afterglow together, but as the minutes turned to quarter hours, then halfs, you started to get worried. “Mando? I can still feel them, they’re not breaking down.”
“I’m sure they will, they always do.”
“Ok…”
They didn’t.
Hours went by, and even after waddling to the fresher shower and trying to squat them out, the eggs remained. You got washed up, half morbidly, half exuberantly watching the way the fresher water dripped from your belly while you cleaned up.
Outside the shower you toweled yourself off, taking extra steps to dry under the swell of your womb, but you struggled to reach all the way around. Mando knocked on the door politely before letting himself in, dressed only in his helmet and pants. Dutifully he took the towel from you and got to the places you couldn't reach while you were carrying his potential young.
It was surprisingly intimate, maybe even more so than being stuffed full of his length. He started on your legs, between your thighs and up to their apex, then softly wiped at your tummy and hips. His deft hands dragged the towel under each breast, then your shoulders and arms, then lastly your neck; draping the wet fabric around you like a cloak when he saw your bunching brows. You looked nervous.
“We’ll figure it out, mesh’la, I won’t let anything happen to you, I promise.” He stated with determination, brushing his thumb down the curve of your cheek and turning your eyes to meet his visor. Your hair was still wet, and now so were your eyes, the first twinges of fear creeping into their corners. He didn’t like what he saw. “Close your eyes, lovely girl.”
You did, squeezing back the mist that was starting to form. He let go of you, and you heard the sound of something heavy and metallic being set down on the sink. The towel around your shoulders was lifted over your head, draping it over your face. You were about to give him hell, mad that he would want to hide your face when you were clearly getting emotional, but instead you felt the wet fabric being lifted as he joined you underneath.
Then he kissed you.
Warm, petal-soft lips pressed against your cold wet ones, suddenly surprising you before you melted into him. His kiss was as gentle as his hands that were making their way up to your jaw, holding you steady while he slotted his mouth to yours. He felt human, the edges of his teeth dull like yours, thankfully not sharp like the ones between his legs. Tasted human, too.
You kissed him back, darting your tongue out with an experimental flick, licking his plush lower lip. He inhaled sharply, caught off guard by your forwardness. His fingers coiled around the back of your head, tangling in your wet hair as his kisses grew in intensity. The smooth muscle of his mouth danced with your own, letting you both taste each other for the first time.
“Ner cyar’ika, I’ve waited so long for this.” he purred against your lips, his words heavy with adoration. He kissed you again, pulling you into himself hungrily and tickling your nose with his mustache. Your own hands came up, slowly dragging over the expanse of his chest to the sinewy length of his neck, and finally to the edge of his jaw.
“Can I touch your face, Mando? I won’t look with my eyes.” He nodded against your lips, his nose bumping the side of yours. Cautiously you wandered your fingertips along the edge of his jaw, the stiff bristles catching under your nails. He shivered with need when you scratched him, carding through his scruff like you were taming a massif.
His sharp jawline led you up his cheeks, their softness dusted with erratic bristles. You ran your thumbs under his eyes, exploring his cheekbones and the creases that bordered his large eyes. Pressing your forehead to his and pulling your lips away, you circled your thumbs down the sides of his well-defined nose to the line of hair above his lips. The creases that your hands found told you he wasn’t a young man, but he probably wasn’t too far beyond your age either.
And you imagined him to be very handsome.
It wasn’t until your hands found his ears that you remembered he wasn’t the same species as you. They were pointed, and sensitive if his little moans of pleasure were anything to go by.
“I don’t ever want you to see those, they’re ug- oh!” You cut off his self depreciation to tilt his head between your hands, pressing a kiss to each of his ears with a seductive puff of steam. “St-stop, you’re giving me goosebumps.”
“Stop being so mean to yourself, buckethead, only I can be the judge of that, and I bet they're cute!” He laughed, the sound warm and brassy, but not enough to distract you from your current predicament. “What… what are we going to do about… this.” You took each of his hands in yours and set them on your full belly, letting him caress his handiwork.
He sighed, pressing a kiss to your forehead in the dark of the towel, his lashes brushing your skin when he dropped his brow to yours. You heard his lips part with a smile, imagining the way the wrinkles around his eyes would bunch, wistfully hoping that one day you could see them for yourself.
“Mesh’la I-… I have no idea."
Next->
If you liked this fic, check out Garden of Ishtar! It's chapter 9 in a series but can be read stand-alone. Enjoy~
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#the mandalorian#the mandalorian x reader#the mandalorian x you#self insert#din djarin#din djarin x you#din djarin x reader#din djarin x f!reader#smut
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synopsis: the jealousy in your boyfriend led to an unexpected sex warning(s): filth smut ig?? degradation, slight slapping, chocking, breeding, multiple orgasms and overstimulation to the point y/n squirted so minors kindly dni! <3 prompt(s): 83 - it's sir, understood? 88 - be quiet or i have no choices but let them know what a whore you are underneath me 89 - do you have fun teasing the shit out of me? notes: i get too carried on with the plot thus leading it to be quite long than usual </3 my apologies
it was unprofessional of him to behave like this. to be precise, was it even your fault to begin with? it was your job as an idol and you can’t just say no to your manager. you needed the money and you were sure you could gain more popularity by accepting the commercial. it was quite new for a rising idol to be modelling for a lingerie company, but you were proud with your body proportions. plus, the thoughts of money flowing into your bank account can’t bring the smile on your face away. however, you weren’t informed that you’ll have a co-model for the month of promotion. you were shocked once you saw the quite provocative images by the side, the team expected you to pose equally the same or at least giving such vibes with your fellow co-worker. a male voice appeared as you turned to face the owner of the voice, seeing lee sangyeon, the leader of your boyfriend’s group. it was definitely an awkward situation for both of you, especially when sangyeon often saw you hanging around in their dorm during your leisure time. it was too late for both of you to back out and you knew it would only cause an unnecessary scene, leading to a heavy dark weird atmosphere in the studio. therefore, both of you decided to put all the thoughts behind and posed for the camera professionally.
you didn’t dare to bring the issue to your boyfriend, afraid that he would feel weird or distance himself with his leader. that’s the least you want since their group was busy preparing for their comeback. though both of you had busy schedules, there wouldn’t be a time where both of you would empty your time just to meet even though it was only for a few minutes. strangely, both of you had free time during the weekend. your company decided to give you a break during the weekend after your hard work during the weekdays while for your boyfriend, juyeon, the company decided not to pressure them too much. they gave them ample time to rest during the weekends though they still have to practise for plenty of hours. well, better than nothing right? juyeon appreciated everything the company gave to him, thus leading both of you to cuddle in his room. thanks to their recent success, the company managed to provide a new dorm for the members for their own comforts and some chose to have their own rooms while some choose to be roommates with their own members. for juyeon, he preferred being alone and since it was hard for idols to go out for dates, both of you often have your dates in his room. he wasn’t alone to begin with, some members apparently bring their significant others to their dorm too and they planned a conspiracy to not tell their managers.
“how’s your week going?” his voice was so soothing, it almost brought you to sleep but you didn’t want to waste your free time with him sleeping. being in his arms as he cuddled you on his bed, you snuggled closer to his muscular body, getting a little bit comfortable under the huge comforter. the netflix show that was playing through the projector spontaneously became a music background, both of you weren’t paying much attention to what's showing since it was re-watched for the fifth time. since your arms were wrapping around his waist, you were drawing a circle on the naked skin, defining his packs. “nothing new, just as usual. how about yours? how was the preparation going?” it was your turn to ask him, looking up to face the beloved man in your life. with his right arm under your neck, casually landing his hand on your shoulder, he pulled you closer while rubbing your skin, “tired and stressed. preparing for a comeback would always be so bittersweet.” you nodded, understanding the feeling damn too well since you are an active idol too. “sangyeon leads us very well, i’m glad he’s the leader.” juyeon added, the day of you having a photoshoot with him suddenly flashed in your mind. starting to feel anxious, you fiddled with your fingers and the taller one noticed it. “something wrong?”
“promise that you won’t get angry.” the doe eyes started to play its role, making juyeon soften by your expression as he gently caressed your hair, tucking them behind your ear before touching your ear. “i won’t promise, but i’ll try my best.” that’s what you like about juyeon. he wasn’t a good liar, nor good at being straight-forward but he’ll always choose the right words to not hurt you. exhaling the breath you didn’t know you held in, you cross-sitting on the mattress, leading the other to sit too while leaning his back against the bed frame. unlocking your phone and immediately going to the gallery, you showed him a few pictures from the previous photoshoot with sangyeon. “the lingerie company i’m currently modelling in just told me that i’ll be working with sangyeon starting from this month's promotion. i didn’t know about it, nor was it mentioned in the contract. both of us were informed right when we arrived at the destination.” you finally confessed the long ago things you’d been wanting to tell him, hoping he won’t be angry for the sudden confession. “i didn’t want to tell you yet because you were busy with your comeback. i didn’t want to make you more stressed, let alone having the intention to make you feel bad..” you bit your lips, head down as your eyes glued to your legs, suddenly found your legs attractive to look on. you expect for a disappointed sigh or the sudden raise in his voice, but instead you earned a chuckle from your boyfriend.
looking up to face his reaction, it was true that he wasn’t showing any bad feedback at all. he rather gave you a smile before patting his lap and being the obedient girlfriend you are, you wasted no time in climbing to his lap. “do you think i would get angry at this?” you nodded, earning another chuckle from him as his hands went to grab your chin, the sudden grasp startled you and he forced you to face him. “well you guessed it right. what gave you the right to think that i won’t be angry?” his fingers slowly tracing down to your collarbone, sensually touching them before landing his fingers on each side of your neck. “did you have fun doing the photoshoot with my leader?” you shook your head as a no, reducing the intake of oxygen as he pressed the sides tighter. it can’t be denied, angry and jealous juyeon is one of your favourite genres. “cat got your tongue?” he lowered a few octaves as you shook your head again, “n-no..” his other hand straight went to cup one of your breasts, earning a choked moan from his girlfriend. “i was already mad enough to know that you are modelling for a lingerie company but having sangyeon as your partner? that’s fucking pathetic.” he soon added, “whores like you sure like to play with my friends huh.”
the sudden flip made you gasped, his strength never failed to impress you as he topped you, lips crashing with yours while fingers ripping every clothes of yours. as soon as your body was only covered by your undergarments, his lips went down to your neck, tongue casually covering your skin with his saliva. “fucking mad that you would agree with such stupid photoshoot,” he groaned against your skin, unclasping your bra to free your boobs and teeth sinked to one of your buds. “f-fuck juyeon-” “it’s sir, understood?” you nodded your head, so close to grip his hair but his hand was quick enough to pin your wrists on your head. “did i allow you to touch me? fucking needy slut who can’t keep her hands.” the pathetic whimpers that escaped from your lips produced beautiful melodies to juyeon’s ears, circling his tongue around your aroused nipples. the way he sucked into your nipples were quite hard to the point you were thinking if milk would suddenly come out but you knew it was impossible since you weren’t pregnant yet. after paying much attention to both of your breasts, his other hand cupped each of them, not wanting to leave it untouched while going south, facing your clothed cunt. letting out a sharp and loud moan, his hands now held your thighs, preventing you from moving much.
“be quiet or i have no choice but let them know what a whore you are underneath me.” juyeon growled and you nodded, biting your lips from letting out another embarrassing moan. teeth holding onto the band of your panty, he slid it off and threw it somewhere around his room. the sudden emptiness made you whimper, blurting out incoherent words which juyeon assumed you wanted something to be done with your pussy. it was helplessly wet and you were too horny for a foreplay, but you knew you weren’t in control- especially when the angry juyeon was in between your legs. flicking his tongue against your folds, you held in the moan though you were sure soft moans managed to escape, hands gripping the bed sheet tightly. the sounds of your mewl began to reflect the whole room, whoever passing by juyeon’s room would surely knew what both of you were up for. “p-please..” you shook your head erratically, not wanting to get teased by the man beneath you but instead earning a cold silence as he slowly moved his tongue on your clit. “mmmff-” the bite on your lower lips got harsher, your fingers were finding anything that was impossible to hold onto. “sir please, no m-more mmmh,” you rolled your eyes to the back in sudden ecstasy as he left a long lick on your clit. maybe you were too horny or you were sex deprived, the liquid on his face maybe could explain it.
“wow,” juyeon smirked, wiping the cum on his face with his thumb and licking it, looking up to face you as you were trying to easen your breath. “were you too fucking horny? i barely touch you,” the uneven breath responded to him, you can’t even form a proper sentence to the dominant one. “but above all of them, you came without my permission.” his tone got deeper as he reached for your neck, causing you to choke at the sudden grab. “and you know what sluts like you should do, right?” nodding your head off, switching your position as he now sat on the bed and you were in between his legs. “suck.” he demanded after you struggled taking his shorts off, greeted by the proudly standing wood right in-front of your face. licking the veins that stood out angrily as you pushed the tip into your mouth, slightly gagging at the sudden growth. you were taking too long and it wasn’t exactly what juyeon needed so he held your hair in a ponytail, pushing your mouth to the base and thrusting his hips up, causing you to gag. juyeon often informed you about the safe words and taps if it was getting overwhelming to you and since he didn’t receive any of them yet, he kept on forcing your mouth to his root, letting out a satisfied grunt by the warmth of your mouth. you knew that it was one of his favourite things in sex, well you liked it too, having his huge dick in your mouth. you preferred it more when he gets rough to you and that’s what exactly you got from him.
bobbing your head according to the rhythm the latter just set to you, closing his eyes as his climax reaching soon. noticing it, popping out with the sound of ‘pop’ before circling your mouth around his tip with your fingers playing with his balls, dangerously close to his hole, deciding to tease him a bit and that would be the worst thing you ever chose to do on that day. tightening the grip on your hair as he yanked you off from his dick, forcing you to face him. “do you have fun teasing the shit out of me? do you think it’s cute to tease me?” you shook your head as a no but only to be responded with a slap on your cheek and hell, that fucking turned you on. “answer me, whore.” “n-no.” “no what?” the overwhelming pleasure was too much for you, pressing your legs tightly as the knot in your stomach was appearing again. “no s-s-sir.” a cheeky smirk could be heard afterwards as he threw you on the bed, hand still on your neck while the other reached to his dick, lining it up to your vaginal hole. “sluts like you should be put into their places back.”
the sudden thrust into your hole caused you to let out another choked moan as he wasted no time in thrusting his hips against yours, the slapping sounds against wet skins were too obvious to be hidden anymore. following with your pathetic whimpers and sobs, you would have a hard time to face his teammates soon. knocking the breath out from you as he bottomed out, pulling out only to be slamming back into the tight hole of yours. the increase in speed led to another embarrassing moans of yours, incoherent words started to blurt out and the bed cracking against the wall surely left nightmares to whoever was in the dorm. “s-sir, s-sir mmmf sir please,” juyeon somehow managed to catch on what you were saying, raising an eyebrow as his hand went up to caress your hair gently, totally contrasting to the thrusts of his hips. “please what, kitten?” “anything s-sir, any-mmf fuck anything sir. just wanted to c-come,” the tears on the corner of your lips were getting clearer, the pleasures he gave to you were inexplicably good. “then come.” managed to get permission from your boyfriend, back arched as tears fell down, you screamed out loud as soon as you released, giving no fucks that he was still living with his members and some of them were probably having their rests in their own rooms.
the pretty moan escaping from your lips was soon muffled as his lips caught yours, hips still not stopping from thrusting into you as it got impossibly faster and deeper. you swore you could see the bulge in your stomach and fuck, that made you wet again. “gonna cum in you,” juyeon whispered against your lips as soon as both of you parted off, the thought of breeding you making him insanely turned on and it could be proven by the changes in thrusts. “would you like that?” he asked as you once again nodded erratically, moaning a ‘please’ causing him to smirk, “of course, sluts like you should be breeded.” soon followed by him cumming into you as you could feel the long and thick ropes filling you up. you too were turned on by the thought of getting breeded, not realising that you just squirted on his dick. finishing riding his orgasm out in your hole, juyeon slowly pulled his dick off only to watch some of his cum dripping down to your thighs. the combination of your squirt and his cum on your thighs were putting him over the edge as he leaned in to lap the liquid off, earning a whimper from you as you grip his hairs, shaking your head. “t-too much. too much sir,” you squirmed but he ignored you and that caused you to have your orgasm for the fourth time.
“good girl, my good girl.” juyeon praised you, giving endless pecks on your lips and forehead, “you did so well for me, princess.” ignoring the mess right in-front of them, he pulled you into a hug, pecking the crown of your head as you snuggled closer to him, finding no strength in moving at all. “did i went too harsh on you?” you shook your head as a no, wrapping your arms tighter around his well-defined waist and rested your head on his chest. “i’m sorry if i did, i got too carried away with my jealousy.” “it’s fine, juyeon. in fact, i like it.” you looked up to him and assured him with a peck on his cheek, responding to his smile. “next time, don’t hesitate to tell me if things like these happen again, okay? i promise i won’t be mad- at least, not like this. plus, you looked too hot for the shoot, guess i was too aroused by it.” you giggled at his sudden confession and nodded, pulling him closer to your body. “i love you.” “i love you too, my princess,” said your boyfriend as he pecked the top of your head again before putting both of you to a quick nap.
#juyeon smut#lee juyeon smut#the boyz smut#the boyz drabbles#the boyz juyeon#the boyz imagines#the boyz scenarios#juyeon scenarios#juyeon drabbles#juyeon imagines#lee juyeon scenarios#lee juyeon drabbles#lee juyeon imagines
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DON'T MOVE ON - QUINN HUGHES X READER
here is the hughesy angst i promised, i cannot believe i wrote it that quickly
likes and reblogs are always appreciated, hope you like it!
Word count: 2.5 k
Warnings: just a bunch of angst and then fluff
Summary: a month after a huge fight that ended your relationship you find out from Brock that Quinn hasn’t been able to move on too
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Today marked a full month since the fight that ended it all. You’d like to say you couldn't remember how it happened, how things got so out of proportion you ended up breaking up, but you did. You still remembered every painful detail.
It had been a long day, those that just drain you physically and emotionally to the point you want to get home and sleep so it's finally over. But you didn’t do that because the canucks were playing that night and you thought maybe watching the game at your boyfriend’s apartment and waiting for him to get back after it ended would make you feel better. You were wrong.
The canucks lost that night, it wasn’t a huge loss, just by one goal, a power play goal made by the other team after Quinn had taken a penalty. He obviously put the blame on himself and when he got home things got worse.
With both of you in bad moods things were meant to get nasty, but you never thought it would have reached the point it did. It started as a small fight but quickly things escalated. You knew you didn’t mean the things you were saying, but you weren’t thinking clearly. Suddenly all the little stuff that bothered you about each other started to accumulate and when he said you didn’t support him enough that was the last straw.
How could he say that when you were standing right in front of him in his apartment after having watched his game and waited for him? Even when all you wanted was to go to sleep and forget that day had even happened.
“I can’t believe you just said that. Seriously Quinn I do so much for you and this is how you pay me?”
“Then maybe if I’m such a bad boyfriend we should break up.” He knew that’s not what he wanted, but anger took over and he wanted to hurt you as much as you had hurt him seconds ago.
“Maybe we should.” you quickly replied and the room went silent. You looked at him, internally begging him to say he didn’t mean it, but nothing happened. The silence was deafening.
“Ok then. It’s over.” you finally said, already gathering your purse and leaving his apartment. Not having enough strength to give him a final look as you shut the door behind you and rushed out of the building.
You didn’t cry as you walked to your car or in the drive home, it was like you were on automatic mode, you just drove to your place in silence without a thought in your head.
But once you were inside your apartment it all dawned on you. Your vision got blurry and you let out a suffocated breath. Your legs stumbled and you fell down on the floor with your back against the wall, unable to take in everything that had happened. It was over.
That happened a month ago. You hadn’t talked to Quinn ever since that night. It had been the hardest month of your life. You didn’t realize he was such a huge part of your life till he wasn’t there at night to hold you as you sleep, making you a cup of tea while you studied, pointing at you in the crowd after a goal, rushing out of the lockers straight to your arms after a game, stroking your hair as you lied on his chest to help you relax after a stressful day. He wasn’t there anymore and you missed him with every bone in your body; but he never reached and you were too afraid to see him only to discover he was doing completely fine without you.
Focusing on your studies and work made it easier, you discovered if you had your head occupied the whole day you didn’t think of him. But nights were the hardest, lying alone in your bed with only your thoughts would make your mind go back to that dreadful night and you’d end up crying yourself to sleep. That empty feeling would turn from sadness to anger and vice versa, but no matter how hard you tried to get over him you couldn’t.
That’s why after weeks of pure silence it surprised you when you received a call from Brock. You debated on whether to answer or not, but figured if he called after all this time it was important.
“Hello?”
“Hey Y/N” he answered. “How are you?” You could tell he was hesitant.
“I’m … good I guess.” you replied followed by a long silence. “Why are you calling Brock?” you finally asked, wanting the exchange to be over.
Brock didn’t know how to phrase it, he knew why he was calling and what needed to be said, but he simply didn’t know how to say it without you immediately ending the call after hearing his name.
“It’s about Quinn- please don’t hang up!” he was quick to add.
“What about Quinn?” you asked. It felt weird to talk about him out loud, something you hadn’t even done with your friends.
“He 's bad Y/N. Really bad. He won’t come out of his apartment, only for practices and games, and then he rushes back home and we don’t see him again. We’re really worried about him, all the team and his friends, even his family. He hasn’t been calling them like he used to and Jack had to basically convince their mom not to take the first plane here to check up on him. Even Brady hasn’t been able to get to him. Plus he’s been shit on the ice lately, taking stupid penalties and getting into fights, he’s one bad game away from getting benched.”
“I get it Brock but I don’t know what you want me to do. It’s not my job to fix him.” you told him. The thought of Quinn suffering alone in his apartment broke your heart but after all he was the one who decided to end things and never reached you after it. You knew it was your pride talking, but he had put himself in this position.
“I know, I know. I’m not asking you to forgive him for whatever it is he did. Honestly we’re kind of out of the loop here because he won’t tell us what happened between you two. But please I’m begging you, talk to him. You don’t have to get back together, but I think he needs some type of closure or something. He can’t keep doing like this Y/N.”
You could tell by his voice he was genuinely worried, and you were sure this is something he had talked about with the rest of the team and friends. You hated to admit it but Quinn still had a place in your heart and right now it ached at the thought of him drifting away from his family and friends and even failing at the job of his dreams when maybe a simple talk could help him. So you decided to push your grudge aside, but not completely.
“I have a box with his things, tell him I’ll go by his place to return them and then we can talk.” you said, thinking that the box of his belongings you had packed some days ago and sited by the door waiting for the moment you were strong enough to give them back to him would be a good enough excuse. That was not the answer Brock expected but he knew it was the best he would get.
“Thank you Y/N. I know this isn’t easy for you, but thank you so much.” You hanged up.
-
You stood on the hallway in front of his door after knocking, waiting for him to answer. You kept repeating to yourself everything would be fine, that seeing him again after a month wouldn't be as hard as you thought, but the moment the door opened and your eyes connected with his, your heart stopped.
He looked like shit. Tired eyes, heavy dark circles around them, messy hair and you’d bet he had been wearing that old shirt and sweatpants for at least three days. You were also surprised to see that he was shocked you were standing on his doorway.
“Y/N?”
“I told Brock I’d stop by today.” you explained.
“You spoke with Brock?” he asked and then you understood his friend hadn’t informed him of everything.
“Yeah he called me yesterday to talk about … well about you.” you said, unsure if telling him you talked about him was the right thing to do. He nodded, still a bit confused but didn’t say anything. “Can I …” you said, gesturing to the inside of the apartment.
“Oh yeah sure.” He moved to the side to let you in. “Sorry about the mess.”
You walked into the all too familiar apartment where you had spent many days and nights, but now it didn’t feel like home anymore. The curtains were almost shut completely allowing little to no natural light at all inside, there were some clothes on the sofa and dirty dishes piling up in the sink.
“So I’m guessing Brock forgot to tell you I’d stop by to drop this.” you said putting down the box on his coffee table.
“He probably did it on purpose. If I knew he was going to call you I’d have stopped him.” he simply said, like it wouldn’t be a dagger to your heart to hear he didn’t want to see you. Maybe after all he wasn’t doing so bad, or maybe it wasn’t because of you.
“If you didn’t want to see me I can go-” You started to turn around, ready to once again leave his apartment brokenhearted like many days ago, but his hand on your wrist stopped you.
“No! It’s not that I don’t want to, it's just that … it’s hard.”
“Hard?”
“Yeah Y/N, hard. I haven’t seen you for like a month. After that fight you just left and I never saw you again.”
“Well you never reached out Quinn.”
“You didn’t either.”
“Yeah but you were the one that decided to break up. You want me to process my boyfriend breaking up with me and then also call to check up on him?”
His hand was still on your arm, making you stand close to each other, so close that you could tell how his posture changed after hearing what you had said.
“I’m sorry about that, about the break up and about every other stupid thing I said that night. You were the best girlfriend I could have asked for.” he said looking into your eyes. You could tell he was being sincere and that softened something inside of you.
“I also said some stupid stuff I didn’t mean. We were too caught up fighting to actually think what we were saying.”
“I’m sorry.” he almost whispered before letting go of your arm and quickly wrapping his arms around your body.
You were surprised at first but didn’t hesitate to hug him back. By the way you were hugging, with his head low into your neck and your arms around his frame, it looked more like you were consoling him, and in a way that’s what was happening. At one point you noticed he was crying, you couldn’t see him but you felt the warm tears against your skin and the way his chest shook between your arms as he tried to hold it in but failed.
“If I could take it all back I would, I really would.” he mumbled against your neck in between sobs. You started crying too, unable to keep on pretending you were fine anymore, unable to keep on pretending you didn’t care.
“I miss you so much Y/N.”
“You do?” you asked, genuinely surprised to hear him say it.
“Are you kidding me?” He pulled away from you to look you in the face, but your arms stayed on each other. “Look at me, look at my apartment. I’m a mess without you. I miss you every second of the day, there isn’t a moment when I’m not thinking about you Y/N. I mean I’m doing so horribly I’ve got everyone worrying about me: my friends, my family, my team.”
“You never called so I thought you had moved on.”
“I didn’t. I can’t move on from you and even if I could I don’t think I want to”
You looked at the mess of a man standing in front of you, crying in your arms, telling you he regretted everything, he missed you. It was clear to see he had suffered as much as you had for the past month. There was no doubt in your mind you still loved him, you tried to push it away but there it was, strong as ever, beating deep in your heart. So you decided to go for it, let yourself be weak one more time and if it didn’t work out then that’s something you’d have to deal with later; but if it did you knew it would be extraordinary.
“Then don’t.” you said and he looked down at you with furrowed brows. “Don’t move on.”
“Is that what I think it is?” he asked, eyes getting bright with hope at the thought maybe it wasn’t all lost.
“I’m willing to try again if you are. I still love-” you started to say but he cut you off mid sentence moving his hands to your face and your words died in his lips.
It felt familiar, like coming back home after a long trip. Both your eyes were closed, enjoying the kiss, savoring every second of it. Tears started rolling down your faces and you could taste them on each other's lips. Tears of joy because neither of you could believe this was actually happening.
“I love you.” he said once you pulled away to breathe, foreheads touching and lips millimeters away. “I love you, I love you, I love you!” he kept on repeating with the brightest smile on his face. You giggled before connecting your lips once again for another kiss, something you could never get tired of.
This time his hands moved to your sides, lifting you up in his arms as you wrapped your legs around him and let out a surprised squeal between the kisses. He walked over to the couch, threw away the clothes that were there with one hand holding you close to him with the other, to then swiftly lay on it with you on top of him.
“I’m never letting you go again.” he said, placing a kiss on the top of your head as you nestled yourself between his arms with your head on his chest.
“That’s fine by me.” you replied, earning a sweet laugh from him.
-
tagging those who asked or seemed interested:
@lovingbrock @mellany1997 @timothyjimothy74 @itoldmycatsaboutyou @stlbluesbrat @dermybaby
#quinn hughes#quinn hughes imagine#quinn hughes x reader#quinn hughes imagines#quinn hughes fic#nhl#nhl imagine#nhl fic#nhl fanfic#hockey#hockey fic#hockey imagine#hockey fanfiction#hockey imagines#canucks#canucks imagine#Canucks fic#vancuver canucks#vancuver canucks imagine
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Lines Get Blurred
{ Childe x GN!Reader }
{ Summary } Sometimes we don't understand our feelings, and that's okay. Series Masterlist
{ Warnings } Swearing, Undefined Relationship, Physical Intimacy, Mild Anxiety.
{ Notes } Written for @sailormakoto. Usually, I'd wait longer to start another part to make sure people were interested, but they said they'd like it, so... Now you have to like it even though it's a dumpster fire rolling downhill fast. Reader isn't good with their emotions and it very obviously shows. It's really just messy and bad but I don't know what else to do or how to make a cohesive, logical plot. Masterlist
{ Word Count } 1,783
Childe’s guard nearly jumped out of his skin, letting out a yelp of fright as you swept out of the apartment in a hurry. But in your rush, you hardly noticed him at all, the entirety of your focus was currently on your goal of escaping the embarrassment that was on the verge of consuming you whole. With your body moving on autopilot through the busy streets of Liyue, you retreated into your mind to wrangle your thoughts and gain some sense of control.
Why was it exactly that you felt such an overwhelming urge to run away? It wasn't that you didn’t like or want the kiss, it had been rather enjoyable for you. It had happened so easily between you, and that was the part that you found weird. You couldn’t understand why it felt so easy with him, things weren’t normally like this. It was certainly safe to say you had never wanted to kiss your other friends, and that’s what you and Childe were. Friends.
It’s not like you were in love with him, you were pretty sure you felt the same about him as you always had. Sure, it had been a few months and you’d gotten to know him better and found spending time with him more enjoyable, but ultimately he was still the same person he was when you first met. You got along with him, you laughed together and now sometimes you casually made out with each other. That was fine, friends could do that, right?
Perhaps you were blowing things out of proportion. A few kisses didn't change anything, really. It's not like Childe had confessed to having feelings for you or anything drastic. You two were just friends and everything was fine, things would eventually sort themselves out.
You hadn't even realized you had been mildly hyperventilating by the time you regulated your breathing back to normal and managed to get out of your head. With your focus now on your surroundings, you found yourself in Liyue's bustling market among the fresh produce. You decided it would be best to pick up some groceries while you were here, as you said you would. Picking out what looked best and haggling with the merchants over prices seemed like a good way to pretend your problems didn’t exist clear your head.
As it turns out, grocery shopping became infinitely more difficult when you didn’t know what was needed. It was clear Childe liked to cook but you didn’t know what it was he liked to prepare. Going back to get a list from him now would be incredibly awkward, so you decided to play it safe and buy a large quantity wide variety of ingredients. You decided you had enough when the bags in your arms felt like they were getting too heavy to carry. Fitting this much food into Childe’s kitchen was going to be quite the struggle. Well, well, well, if it isn't the consequences of your actions.
Dragging all your purchases back to the apartment was going to be quite the workout. You wondered if next time it would be possible to get one of the low-ranking Fatui to help you carry things. A few pedestrians gave you some odd looks as they saw your mountain of purchases, but no one offered you any help. Things only got worse once you remembered you had said you were going to buy some things from Bubu Pharmacy, too. You were going to be strong as fuck after going up all those goddamn steps.
The man at the counter wore a worried expression as he noticed the amount of bags you were dragging along with you. You brushed off his concern with something about how you were an adventurer and stronger than the average person, trying not to let it show that you were indeed struggling to carry everything. Even with superhuman strength, you had your limits. Unfortunately, the man accepted your words and busied himself with finding the ice packs you requested, along with an herbal tea you asked for because it had a divine aroma you noticed upon walking in. It's not like he was likely able to help you with the groceries, so you supposed it didn't matter.
By the time you returned to Childe’s apartment, your arms were ready to fall off and the scowl on your face must have been quite intimidating because the guard stationed at the door immediately did as he was told when you ordered him to open the door for you. He didn't say a word, not even giving you a nasty look for the first time. Despite the non-hostile treatment by the guard, you promptly kicked the door closed on him after entering the apartment, heading straight to the kitchen and letting out a sigh of relief after dropping all of the bags in the middle of the floor.
You hadn’t seen Childe on your way in and you couldn’t hear him moving around the apartment but you assumed he was home, the guard probably wouldn’t have been quite so willing to let you in otherwise. Even if you wore a scary expression. Not to mention, surely the Harbinger wouldn’t appoint a guard foolish enough to allow you in unsupervised, there were likely sensitive documents somewhere inside. You assumed it had been Fatui reports he was reading earlier.
Finding room for all the groceries you had purchased took your mind away from wondering about the location of your temporary host. Putting everything away proved to be a time-consuming task, but by the end of it Childe had yet to make an appearance, or even any noise indicating he was in the apartment. This was worrying, if he had left and gotten himself hurt you’d have to go out in search of him. After purchasing, carrying, and putting away all the food you had bought you weren’t sure you were up for tracking him down.
Taking one of the newly purchased ice packs to use as an excuse, you wrapped it in a towel before making your way to his bedroom. It seemed like the most likely place to find him if he was indeed still in the apartment. It was hard to imagine he'd have spent so much time silent in the bathroom. You felt strangely on edge as you stopped in front of the door, knocking softly three times.
No reply came but you weren't convinced he was truly not home, so you slowly pushed the door open, holding your breath. It didn’t make sense for you to feel so nervous about this, it wasn’t the end of the world if he wasn’t home. Maybe you were more worried about seeing him than not.
The sight of Childe sprawled out in the middle of his bed peacefully napping greeted you as you quietly entered. His blanket appeared to have been thrown off him in his sleep and his shirt rode up just a little bit. His room was tidy, but you were too busy appreciating the revealed section of his abdomen to take a proper look around. You were only granted a few moments to stare before he opened one eye, peering at you for just long enough to register that it was you in his room.
It was unsurprising that the Harbinger was a light sleeper enough sleeper to be woken by you entering his room, considering his line of work. Vastly more surprising was when, after determining it was you who had woken him, he closed his eye again and went back to dozing. You couldn’t help but smile fondly at this, a pleasant warmth filling you at the show of trust. Or maybe he was too tired to care.
Of course he trusted you, you were friends after all. The thought had your smile fading, but you weren’t sure why that displeased you. Pushing the thought from your head, you silently made your way to the bedside and placed the icepack at his side.
The sudden cold had ocean eyes fluttering open before focusing on you. You smiled playfully at his slightly disgruntled expression. That was much easier on your emotions than his prior vulnerability.
“Sorry, but it needs to be done.”
“Mm, whatever. Hey, did I make you uncomfortable earlier?” the Harbinger asked, causing your heart to pause. He certainly was good at getting straight to the point. You had to take a deep breath before answering him.
“No, not at all. I’m sorry, I don’t even know why I ran away like that,” you told him, the words rushing out of your mouth. Your heart was racing faster than you thought it should have been in this situation. It’s not like any of this was that big of a deal, certainly not the end of the world.
“Well if you’re not uncomfortable then how ‘bout you nap with me?” the Snezhnayan offered, and you were pretty sure it was almost entirely because he wanted to get back to sleep himself, “You look exhausted, you probably need it.”
High flags of color appeared on your cheeks at his words, you must not be looking your best for him to offer such a thing. It couldn't be that he was actually worried for you, but you couldn't reason out why he would offer such a thing. However, the prospect of rest was tempting, but you couldn’t help but think it would be easier on your heart if you just went to your room for it. Then again, if you rejected him it might seem like you had been lying about being comfortable with him.
“Stop thinking so loudly and just come here,” Childe said finally, opening his arms to you. You clenched your jaw, feeling even more embarrassed, but began climbing into bed with him.
“Fine,” you mumbled, letting him pull you close before covering the both of you with a blanket. He gently tucked your head against his chest before pressing a kiss to the crown of your head, luckily for you, it wasn’t possible for you to get any redder at this point. Not that he would see considering he had closed his eyes and was already nodding off again, but maybe he was able to feel the heat radiating off your cheeks.
“You worry too much. Relax and go to sleep.”
Despite your internal anxieties, you found yourself complying with his suggestion thanks to the fatigue already weighing you down and how comfortable it felt to be in his arms. All of it felt a little too intimate for being just friends, but you didn’t get much time to worry about it as you drifted off into unconsciousness.
#genshin impact#genshin#genshin impact x reader#genshin x reader#genshin childe#genshin tartaglia#genshin ajax#childe x reader#tartaglia x reader#ajax x reader#childe#tartaglia#ajax#swearing#physical intimacy#anxiety#fanfiction#fanfic#gn reader#gender neutral reader#reader insert#grocery shopping#napping with childe#it's really bad but#i don't know how to write#wait i almost forgot#tartagalicious
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Shoved it: chapter I - Grind
summary: You don’t like skaters. They’re unruly, misbehaved and rude. But this one encounter just might change your view. genre: fluff warnings: tooth-rotting fluff (seriously, make a dentist appointment), slow burn, mutual pining betas: @vanille–kiss as always I'm eternally grateful to you, I love you lots a/n: Written for ANILYSIUM (former HQHQ) Server Collab with the prompt “Meet Ugly”. Check the event’s masterlist here! series navi: masterlist | next wc: 1.4k
Books. You love everything about them - the scent of the ink, the feeling and texture of paper under the pads of your fingers, the sound of pages being turned, the way how 26 letters bloom as a whole new world in your mind.
It’s a beautiful spring day, one that carries the warmth of sunshine and scent of freshly revived greenery in the air. Birds are chirping sweet love songs, you’re wearing your favourite flowy dress, gentle breeze makes the short stray strands that slipped from your bun tickle your nape.
On a day like this, it’s extra hard not to bury your nose in the tome you carry around these days. Technically, you know you should pay attention to your surroundings, especially when you’re walking and not sitting on the bench, but it’s just getting to the good part, where the thief prince is about to steal a kiss (and a heart) of the princess and -
Huh?
It’s a beautiful spring day, the sun is finally out, no sight of rain clouds, no school today, absolute freedom. Which is why Suna Rintarou is rushing to the park, using his worn skateboard for the first time this year. He surely hopes he hasn’t gotten rusty with the break, but damn does it feel good.
The wind is ruffling his bangs that stick out from underneath his beanie, and it makes him want to go faster, faster, and maybe, just maybe, he might be able to fly. Or at least jump really well. So he pushes again and again, despite moving at a decent speed already.
There are stairs nearby, and Rin feels today is the day he beats his record at how far he can land. He’s approaching it fast, the top is right there, he can see it, so he pops the board and then shoves it, his ankle at a perfect angle, and shit, if it ain’t the perfect pop shuvit, and fuck, he’s middle air and knows he’s gonna fuck it up.
Because at the bottom, right where he predicts he’ll land, there’s you. A cute girl, with her hair and dress flowing with the wind, eyes trained on a book in her hands, and she doesn’t even see him.
Which is why he crashes with you, having enough mind clarity to push his board in another direction and cover the back of your head with his hand, before he falls on top of you on the pavement. You blink at him with a confusion clear in your gaze, almost as if you don’t know where you are. He smirks at you lazily, and in his most seductive voice lets out a,
“Hi.”
You still look at him with those huge doe eyes, like a little lost lamb, and he would love to sink his teeth in your flesh like a big bad fox. The boy opts for helping you up, instead. He can do that other thing some other time. As you shake off the dirt from your dress, he opens his mouth to say something more, but he’s met with
“What the hell?! That was dangerous! You could have hurt somebody! Have you thought about it? This is a public place, you… you… you punk!”
He’s staring at you dumbfounded, surprised at your sudden outburst. Definitely not what he expected after protecting you from the impact, and definitely not after presenting you his best smirk, the one that has every girl swooning. Suna shakes off his haze when you reach the top of the stairs, and mumbles at the sudden realisation.
“But… I’m not a punk?”
-----------------------------------
You’re running. Your feet hurt, lungs burn, and you don’t really see where you are or where you’re headed, but it’s better than getting caught by palace watchmen. The hand around your wrist has a tight grip, as you’re dragged through narrow dark alleys. Suddenly, the man in front pulls you behind a corner, his arm wrapped around your waist, both your chests heaving against each other.
“Are you okay, Princess?” He asks, voice still a little breathy from the exercise, and you nod. “I think the guards are gone now.”
“Are you the Prince of the Thieves?” His smirk grows wide in the shadows.
“I did steal you from the palace, did I not?” His face is coming dangerously close, olive eyes boring into yours. “If you’re not careful, I might steal your heart as well.”
His breath is fanning over your lips as he whispers the last sentence, you part your mouth…
Beep. Beep. Beep.
Shit.
Wait, why did the Prince have the face of that punk?
***
Luckily the bus you take to school isn’t crowded. You squeezed yourself into a window seat with earphones completely sealing you off from the surroundings. Hopefully upbeat music will be enough of the distraction from the weird dream. Hopefully.
Relaxed, you close your eyes and sing along in your mind, tapping the rhythm on your thigh. You let your mind wander, as you imagine yourself dancing to the song, feeling the endorphins pump through your veins.
Until an image of those greyish-yellow eyes glinting in the darkness flash in your head.
Well, shit.
***
If there was any hope of relief from being haunted by that intense gaze at school, it’s gone now. As a top student you were always focused on lessons, always ready with an answer for any question; but today it’s completely the opposite.
First, you somehow managed to forget a basic algebraic formula. While solving a problem on the board. The class was shocked, the teacher was not impressed, you were embarrassed… Still feeling the heat of shame hours later.
Then you completely spaced out, forcing the English teacher to repeat your name over and over, telling you to continue reading a text. And you didn’t even know which part you should continue from.
After that came chemistry, and you nearly blew up the lab after messing up the proportions of ingredients. Why were you so affected by some punk you didn’t even know? Why were you seeing those damn eyes everywhere? Even in the cafeteria, at the table across from yours, that boy also has those eyes.
Wait, no. Oh no.
You’re staring at him unabashedly, silently praying to be wrong, waiting for something, anything, to prove that it’s not the person from the park. It doesn’t come, but the heavens curse you instead.
In a slow motion you observe how his eyes meet yours, and as if it wasn’t bad enough, he smirks. You make off the cafeteria so quickly, that you nearly trip over your own two feet. Seriously, what did you even do to deserve this punishment?
It’s Monday again, and Suna would rather stay at home and sleep. But he has to show up to class, so he reluctantly crawls out of the bed, throws on his uniform, and after brushing his teeth leaves the house. It’s such a drag, honestly. Nothing interesting ever happens.
Rintarou nearly dozes off on the bus, the steady hum of the engine and gentle rocking serving as a lullaby. But he can’t sleep, he can’t miss the stop and be late again. So he forces himself to watch the monotonous scenery on the other side of the window.
As predicted, the day goes by slowly. There’s nothing amusing about listening to those old peoples’ rambling on subjects nobody even cares for. Like hell he’s gonna need inorganic chemistry or classical Japanese. So Rin is sitting at his desk, chin in the palm, thinking how it’s a waste of perfectly fine weather for skating.
Finally, the lunch break comes and he drags his feet behind Miya twins to the cafeteria. It’s not his favourite place, it’s crowded and loud, but his buddies fighting over food makes it worth the hassle. They’re doing this right now, Osamu trying to steal his brother’s onigiri, while Atsumu attempts to poke the other boy’s hands with chopsticks.
Suddenly Rin feels somebody’s intense gaze. It’s not like he’s not used to it, girls usually stare at them lovingly, but this feels different. Curious, he glances in the direction he thinks it comes from and sees… you; barely aware of the smirk curling his lips. But then you run off, probably flushed. That must be it, right?
Suna feels like he hit a jackpot.
#haikyuu x reader#suna x reader#suna rintarou x reader#suna fluff#suna rintarou fluff#haikyuu fluff#haikyuu x y/n#suna x y/n#suna rintarou x y/n#hq x reader#hq x y/n#hq fluff#anilysium server collab#shoved;it#mysh.whitedwarf.[hq]
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You’re Not Alone
heartwitchhouse request: Hey uh.. can I get Logan introducing Thomas to neurodivergent communities online?
Sure you can, babe! Thanks for the prompt!
Read on Ao3
Pairings: none
Warnings: also...none? there’s some discussion on having anxiety, depresion, and ADHD with some self-doubt but it’s not that bad
Word Count: 2899
It’s just a little off.
It’s not like it’s some big obvious thing that his parents immediately took notice of. It’s not something his doctor noted on his sheet and made sure to talk about. It’s not even something one of his teachers gently pulled him aside for.
It’s just…not quite right.
He knows that his classmates don’t struggle to stare at the board or their work for like…three minutes at a time, but he also knows one of his classmates who can’t do it for three seconds. He knows the others don’t lapse into gray hazes where doing literally anything feels like an insurmountable force, but he also knows the kids that can’t even come to school on certain days.
He knows people who are better, but he also knows people who are worse.
He has good days. Great days. Great weeks, even. It’s just…sometimes he’ll have a bad day and he can’t help but look at everybody else who’s having a worse day.
And here’s the thing. He knows how to work through it.
He can put his head down and just get things done. It doesn’t matter that he can’t focus for more than three minutes, he’ll do the work he can in those three minutes and then move onto something else. Maybe he’ll get to cycle back and pick it up again later. He can shake his head to clear it and squint at his work again, just to finish this one page through the haze. He can make it.
But it’s just that; making it.
He can’t deny the way the polite smile from his teachers settles heavily in the pit of his stomach saying that yeah, he did fine, but he could’ve done better. The way the list of things he needs to do gets checked off by just the bare minimum, something he’s going to have to redo in just a few days, makes his hands itch. The insecurities over all the things he could have done, could have done better, all the things he’s missed, pile up in his brain until he has to shove them all away just to breathe on bad days. But doesn’t everyone struggle with insecurity now and then? This is normal, right?
Or is it just a little off?
“Oh, I’m sure you’d feel better if you just exercised more! Get yourself a workout schedule, there’s no better free therapy!”
Running makes his chest feel like it’s going to explode. His arms and legs ache after the first round of whatever ‘beginner’ program he decides to try once. The gray haze only flourishes, steady as ever on bad days.
“Just focus on your studies, I’m sure once you’ve got more structure in your life it’ll help you feel better, sweetie.”
Work pounds into his head and he gets it done. All the things he could’ve done better stay there too, bold and bright on the page next to red slashes of ink. He puts his head down and goes, goes, goes. That doesn’t help the bad days, it just pushes them off. Then they get worse.
“Maybe you just need to go outside more often, sunlight can do wonders for you!”
Listen. He and the sun have an agreement. The sun doesn’t like him. He doesn’t like the sun. It’s better if they just…stay out of each other’s way. He could do without the achy headaches the bright light gives him.
“Are you sure you’re drinking enough water? Are you eating the right stuff?”
His budget quickly becomes strained with the amount of ‘healthy food’ he’s supposed to buy. The piles of ‘proper ingredients’ sit in his cabinet, unused, taunting him with how difficult it’ll be to figure out how to eat them. The guilt over not using them worries at his throat as he’s forced to toss them out as they go bad. He gets raised eyebrows from everyone with how often he has to go to the bathroom. The ensuing doctor’s visit is one he’d rather not repeat any time soon, even though at that point it’s just…you know those days where you’re like ‘this might as well happen? Adult life is already so goddamn weird?’
“At least you can get out of bed most days. You seemed fine yesterday!”
…yesterday was yesterday. And just because he got out of bed doesn’t mean anything. It wasn’t really a conscious choice, he just…had to do it.
“You’re not nearly as bad as—“
You know, it doesn’t really matter who they put at the end of that. The point is he’s not as bad as other people. So he doesn’t get the support that they get.
He doesn’t get the polite nods from professors when he needs an extension. He doesn’t get the medication prescribed to him for something that he shouldn’t need because he’s ‘healthy.’ When he finally tries therapy, the therapist compliments him on how easily he’s able to hold a conversation, maintain eye contact, and asks him if he’s tried keeping a diary.
During the nights when he can’t sleep, when the blankets feel way too rough, like sleeping on sandpaper that rubs persistently at his skin, he tosses and turns and thinks…would it be better if…
Would it be better if it were worse?
If it were more obvious, if he actually had depression, anxiety, ADHD, something with a name that people could recognize, or even just the freedom to say he had something…would that be better?
He doesn’t cry every day. He can still feel things most of the time. He eats. He drinks water. He sleeps. He goes outside. He doesn’t get high or drink or do anything to try and numb the pain or escape it. He doesn’t have suicidal thoughts.
But it still feels like he’s not quite right.
If he were worse…people would be more sympathetic. He wouldn’t be accused of milking anything for attention. He wouldn’t get scolded for making light of other people’s problems. He wouldn’t be faking it. Is he faking it? Is he blowing it up out of proportion?
Is it really as bad as he thinks it is?
He finds the perfect metaphor almost by accident. He’s over at a friend’s house one day and they’re in the kitchen, getting hot chocolate to drink before starting their movie night. He opens the cupboard and pulls out a mug with flowers all over it. As he turns to give it to his friend, he notices a chip in the rim.
“Oh, oh gosh, I, um, I’m sorry—“
“What? What’s wrong?” His friend takes the mug from his stuttering hands and squints at it. Her brow smooths out and she laughs. “Oh, are you worried about the chip?”
“…yeah. I don’t—I don’t think I did it?”
“You didn’t,” she says easily, filling it with hot milk, “it’s always been like that.”
“Oh, okay.” The black fuzzy things buzzing about his head settle at that as he leans back against the counter, ready to accept the mug of hot chocolate. It’s warm, pleasantly so, sending a rush of contentment up his arms as he cups his palms around it. “Where’s yours?”
“I’m almost done!”
He looks back down at the hot chocolate, shimmering brown with the kitchen light’s reflection. Tilting his head, he examines the chip in the ceramic. It’s not that big, barely noticeable, but there’s a sharp edge on the inside. He’ll have to be careful he doesn’t drink from that side. Wouldn’t do to burn his tongue and accidentally cut his lip.
“Alright! I’m ready, let’s—ah!”
Her yelp startles him out of whatever hot-chocolate-drinking-planning haze he’d been in, only to see his friend staring at the floor with her hands over her mouth.
“Hey, whoa, are you okay? What happened?”
“I, um—“ oh, no, she sounds so upset, let’s help her!— “I dropped my mug.”
Sure enough, as he hustles around the counter, he sees the broken mug, lying on the floor, hot chocolate spilling mockingly from the remains. He sets his mug—carefully!—on the counter, looking around for the paper towels.
“Did you get hurt?”
“What?” Her gaze doesn’t leave the floor. “No, no, it’s just…that was my favorite mug.”
A horrible sadness settles in his chest as he looks at her and he gently knocks their elbows. “It looks like it’s still got some pretty big pieces, we could…maybe we could fix it?”
“You came over here to watch movies, not to fix my mug.”
“We can do both, can’t we?”
So there they end up, with the lights on, newspaper spread on the floor, hot glue gun, superglue, carefully piecing together broken ceramic as Finding Nemo plays in the background. By the time the seagulls are all racing around the screen, frantically yelling ‘mine!’ they’ve set the now-fixed mug gingerly on the counter, out of harm’s way, and cleaned up all the spilled hot chocolate. As the night creeps on, their eyes growing heavier and heavier, they make it through Mulan, The Princess and the Frog, and The Nightmare Before Christmas. Just before they start The Black Cauldron, his friend gently taps the side of the mug.
“…I think it’s fixed!”
“Wait, really? That was fast!”
“Dude, it was like…at least six hours ago.”
“Is that how fast superglue sets?”
“Have you never used superglue before?”
“Hey!”
The sight of his friend with her favorite mug cradled in her lap makes him smile as he turns his attention back to the screen. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees her talking softly to herself, saying how she promises to be more careful next time, how she’s so happy the mug is fixed, it’ll be better now, stronger this time. And yet she still cradles the cracked, seamed thing with the same tenderness she did when they first picked up the pieces.
He looks back down at the chipped mug in his lap. The chip is so small. It’s barely noticeable. It doesn’t make the mug leak or anything. The mug still works as a mug.
He runs his thumb over the rim, feeling just the slightest pressure when he runs over the chip. If he tried to drink from that side, it would hurt.
She’s had this mug for…years?
He looks back over at the mug in his friend’s lap.
The broken mug gets fixed.
The chipped mug stays chipped forever.
“Thomas?”
Thomas blinks, looking up from his lap to see Logan standing next to him. Logan adjusts his tie.
“You took a moment to respond.”
“Sorry. Did we, uh, are we late for something? Did I miss a deadline?”
There’s a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it expression that flitters across Logan’s face. Then he adjusts his glasses and it’s gone. Thomas frowns.
“…you okay, bud? What was that?”
“What was what, Thomas?”
“You, uh, you made a face.”
“I have a face, Thomas, we all have faces.”
“But you made an expression.”
“…I believe I am…incapable of not making an expression.”
“Logan,” Thomas sighs, “please tell me what’s wrong.”
Well, he certainly takes him by surprise at any rate. Logan glances around—is he worried the others are going to show up?—and adjusts his glasses again.
“I suppose I was…perturbed,” he settles on finally, “that your immediate assumption when I appeared was that I was going to…reprimand you in some way.”
Oh. “Jeez, um, sorry, Logan, I didn’t mean it like that.”
Logan waves him off. “It’s quite alright.”
“But…no, it’s not.” Thomas shakes his head. “You…we gotta talk about this…more, but that’s not the only thing you’re important for. You know that, right?”
…well, Logan’s certainly making a face now. It’s the same one he made after Remus first appeared, after Thomas called him ‘cool.’ After a moment of savoring Logan looking a little flustered, he prompts him gently.
“Did you wanna talk about something?”
“Right,” Logan says quickly, shaking himself, “do you remember our conversation about neurodivergent communities?”
Right. They’d been talking about trying to find therapists during COVID and how it would be difficult since, y’know…going outside is more than kind of a no-no. Virgil had brought up how it’s almost impossible to get a good read on whether or not a therapist would be appropriate for them without a proper appointment, which…kind of led to everyone agreeing that maybe it would be better to try just the texting one first. Logan had mentioned trying to find a group of people to talk to, not just a single person, until Janus said something about not knowing how to navigate something like that.
Not one of their more productive conversations.
“Since your desire to try and see a therapist seems to have stagnated,” Logan says as Thomas nods, “I have found an alternative solution that I believe might be more suited to your current approach to your mental health problems.”
“I don’t—Logan, I don’t have—“
The look Logan levels at him is enough to get him to shush.
“What’s the solution?”
“One of the main obstacles for finding a therapist or seeking help in a group setting was an unawareness of how to properly navigate those dynamics, correct?” Thomas nods. “Then it seems that a solution would be to simply find a group where you do understand the dynamics, yes?”
“…how do I do that?” Thomas scruffs a hand through his hair. “I—look, I…I get that I should talk to someone, we made that clear but it’s just—I don’t—“
Logan waits patiently, his head tilted slightly, as Thomas struggles for words.
“…it’s not that bad,” Thomas says lamely.
“But we’ve established that—“
“I know, I know,” Thomas groans, burying his head in his hands, “but it’s just like—I don’t think I belong there.”
“Why not?”
“Isn’t that for people who have it worse?”
There must be some note of hysteria in that last word because Logan blinks and eases himself down onto the couch next to him, folding his hands in his lap and waiting patiently. When it’s clear Thomas isn’t going to be able to make words go for a while, he clears his throat.
“You don’t want to join a space in which you are not welcome, correct?”
Thomas nods miserably.
“This idea that you will not be welcome stems from the idea that your problems are not…severe enough?”
“Aren’t they?”
“Why must they be more severe for you to seek help?”
“I don’t know, I just—what if they think I’m faking?”
“Are you?”
That’s the kicker, isn’t it? When Thomas looks helplessly at Logan, uncertainty probably written plainly all over his face, Logan tilts his head.
“If you have to ask whether or not you’re faking,” he says in a soft voice Thomas rarely hears, “it’s almost certain that you are not.”
Thomas just nods dumbly.
“Mental illnesses can manifest in a variety of ways,” Logan continues in that same soft voice—and anyone who says Logan doesn’t understand emotion can get out—“and you do not have to fulfill a certain standard of ‘bad’ in order to seek help.”
“But then how do I find people to—who will—who are gonna—“
“…understand?”
“Yeah.”
Logan’s mouth quirks up. “When was the last time you were on Tumblr?”
Thomas blinks. “Excuse me? Also don’t you know that?”
“I do.” Logan gestures to Thomas’s phone. “You wanted a space where you understand how to interact with people and where talking about these types of things will not be a drastic breach of boundaries, yes?”
“…yeah?”
“You would be surprised at the amount of neurodivergent communities online.”
“So why’re you asking me about Tumblr?” The second it comes out of his mouth Thomas’s eyes widen. “Logan—“
“I am not suggesting that be your only source of help, by any means,” Logan says quickly, “but it might serve as a good starting point. You know what is to be expected from Tumblr—relatively speaking,” he corrects when Thomas makes a face, “and it will help you see that, despite what you may think, you’re not alone.”
Logan stands, giving Thomas one last look before he sinks out.
“…and you don’t have to be grateful it isn’t worse, Thomas.”
Thomas looks down at his phone. He opens the app and types something into the search bar.
Logan was right. People…people talk about stuff on Tumblr. Admittedly, it’s Tumblr, so it’s an absolute hellsite, but there is something a little reassuring about being able to just…word vomit into a post and see other people doing the same.
Friendly reminder that people’s symptoms are gonna manifest in different ways and you’re not allowed to judge someone who experiences something different than you
REMINDED THAT YOU DO NOT HAVE TO GRATEFUL THAT THINGS AREN’T WORSE WE DO NOT PLAY THE PAIN OLYMPICS IN THIS HOUSE
You’re not alone.
He’s still gonna have to figure out how to find a therapist. He’s still gonna have to figure out how to talk about this kind of stuff.
But for now, he can sit here and scroll and realize that there are words he can use to describe these things and it finally might start feeling right.
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true colors
@renegadesnet event 10: pride
↪ [ “But everything was temporary. And pain was one of those things. Well, except love. Everything but love was temporary. Or that was what he liked to believe.” ]
Summary: Two years after the supernova, after Tamaya notified them the gearboxes that contained the lights had gotten soaked and that she needed the money to buy more before the next day (June 1st), Simon realized they were not enough for him anymore.
Simon wanted a bigger flag.
No. He wanted two. The biggest pride flags he could find.
AO3
Hello, friends!! I hope you’ve been having an excellent pride month and have been eating a lot rainbow cake and pissing off a lot of conservatives with the mere fact of your wonderful existence:’) As my contribution to this month and the event organized by @renegadesnet, I decided to write a fic focused on my favorite gay dads and their sons (bc I’m me, and you should have seen this coming.)
Before you read, I want to give a trigger warning: at the start of a fic I talk about a homophobic attack, which is not graphic or violent per se (it’s someone in the middle of the night taking away the flag they put outiside the house), and I do discuss about internalized homophobia during some parts of the story. If you read it and are sensitive to this kind of stuff, proceed with caution and take care of yourself <3
Also, this entry is a collaboration with my talented mother @healing-winston-pratt, who is going to be uploading some fanart of this in a near future, so keep an eye on that👀 she’s the best skjhkjds thank you for accepting to collaborate, I feel this is a great bonding activity and I hope we can do this more often✨
I need to update my tag list because a lot of the people who were included are not active as active as they were before/changed their URLs. But I’m going to tag @the-wee-woo-rita @lackadae @all-weather-is-bad @chiyuki-hiro bc you guys are the only ones who are still active users who I had on my previous tag list lol
With that said, I hope you enjoy this fic. I think that despite the angsty parts, it came out really fluffy and domestic, it was fun to write. And to all my queer silbings who are reading this: I am very proud of you.
But I see your true colors shining through.
I see your true colors, and that's why I love you.
So don't be afraid to let them show.
Your true colors,
true colors are beautiful like a rainbow
Simon couldn’t remember a time when he didn’t know he was gay.
There was a time when he didn’t know he was gay, of course. He was probably too young to even comprehend the meaning behind that word. And there was also a moment in his life when he felt embarrassed about it, and sad, and angry, and really, really scared, and probably thought that no matter how hard he tried, he was never going to be happy living the life he wanted to live.
That the pain was never going to end. That he was going to be miserable for the rest of his existence, and that maybe, there was no point in existing if he was going to stay like that until the day he died.
But everything was temporary. And pain was one of those things.
Well, except love. Everything but love was temporary. Or that was what he liked to believe.
That was the reason why, the first year after the Day of Triumph, he told Hugh they should get a rainbow flag for their house. They went to one of the first stores that opened at the mall (that had just been remodeled after twenty years of being abandoned) and bought one at a not so affordable price. Simon offered himself to install it on one of the fence pillars and had to spend thirty minutes listening to Hugh telling him that maybe he should let him do it, that the ladder Kasumi had lent them was ratty, and that Simon was going to fall.
Fortunately, Simon didn’t. He did almost fall, though, when he was about to pass out from stress because seeing Hugh getting all anxious, made Adrian cry and he started to basically beg him to come down, given that now he was convinced he was going to fall, and hearing his dad saying “Look what you’ve done to the kid, Simon” didn’t help at all to make Adrian (or Simon) feel better.
That night, there was a thunderstorm and Adrian used it as an excuse to sleep on their bed. As soon as he cried himself to sleep, two hours later, after their dads did everything in their power to calm him down, hugging him, giving him kisses, and assuring him his aunt Tamaya wasn’t going to let the storm hurt them, Simon raised his hand to high-five Hugh and tell him that they were amazing parents, just to realize he was already asleep. Simon silently judged him for sleeping so soundly while his son was having a crisis instead of sleeping.
When he woke up (at five in the morning) Adrian was looking out their window, with the Baby Indomitable blanket on his shoulders. The sky was still cloudy, but it wasn’t raining anymore.
“Darling, what are you doing?,” Simon told him. “Today’s Sunday. Let your daddy and I get some more sleep—”
“The storm took our flag,” Adrian blurred out.
Hugh was already awake too. “What?”
“You said the storm wasn’t going to hurt us,” Adrian said, turning around to see them, “but the storm took our flag.”
Simon got out of bed, looked through the window...
And, yes, the flag was completely gone.
But for some reason, Simon knew it hadn’t been the storm.
“Why would the storm do something like this?” Adrian asked.
Simon didn’t know how to answer that. Luckily, Hugh did.
“Because the storm is homophobic, son.”
Adrian laughed out loud and then asked his dads if they could have pancakes for breakfast. He had already forgotten about the storm and the flag.
They didn’t. Neither of them ever forgot about it.
While Simon and Adrian ate their pancakes, Hugh went to his office because, according to him, he needed to check something. When Adrian finished his breakfast and went back to his dads’ room to watch TV, Simon stayed in the kitchen, doing the dishes, and Hugh finally came downstairs. He was pretty quiet, and Simon thought that it probably was because he had told him to eat the burnt pancakes he didn’t dare to throw away, but after he finished them all, he said:
“I lied.”
Simon threw a glance at him. “When did you lie?”
“When I said the storm was homophobic,” Hugh answered.
“Well, of course, you lied, love. Storms don’t have strong political opinions about gay people.”
Hugh didn’t laugh. “What I mean is— that it wasn’t the storm.”
Every joke Simon’s brain could come up with disappeared at that moment. So he continued doing the dishes, and Hugh, thinking he hadn’t made himself clear, continued talking.
“It was someone else. It was a person. I saw them on—”
“I know,” Simon interrupted him. “I know. I’ve always known.”
But even if Simon knew, he still told Hugh to show him the footage because four eyes were better than two (especially considering that the owner of those first two eyes needed to wear glasses). It was all useless, though; the storm made the image all blurry, and the only thing they could see was someone taking it and running away in the middle of the night.
Simon wanted to think that it was just some dumb teen whose friends had challenged him to do it. But when it came to things like those one never really knew.
On Monday, they had promised Adrian to take him to the park that was a few blocks away so they could teach him how to fly a kite, but the thought of going out made him feel as if something bad was going to happen to them if they did, so Simon told Adrian that he and Hugh were feeling sick and that they would stay in their room to get some rest. Adrian asked them if they minded that he stayed there too because he was in the middle of watching a movie he had never seen before.
“Only if we can watch it with you,” Simon answered.
It was a weird day to be alive. They really just stayed there, watching silly cartoons with their kid and listening to him ranting about the weird proportions those characters had.
During the afternoon, Adrian told them he was hungry, so Simon went downstairs to look for something they could eat. He was thinking that maybe they should order something from that Chinese restaurant Tamaya had taken him the other day, when Hugh entered the kitchen and told him Adrian had asked him if he could bring him water.
Simon felt his hands were trembling while he looked inside his wallet for the paper where he had written the restaurant’s phone number.
“Do you want to get another flag?” Hugh asked him.
And something hurt.
Something hurt inside of him. Something started to cry, and to scream, and to flicker, trying to make him invisible to the world.
And it told him, the same way Adrian had told him he was hungry, that someone had taken him by surprise and made a deep cut on his chest.
But Simon didn’t allow it to come out.
He just said: “No.”
And Hugh answered him: “Me neither.”
He called the Chinese restaurant to order some food, while Simon went to their room with Adrian again and cuddled with him, trying to tend to the wounds of that something that was bleeding out inside of him.
Little Simon was crying, and screaming, and flickering, and needed adult Simon to take care of him.
The next day, they talked about the incident with the rest of the Council during their lunch break. It was one of those few occasions the six of them were together in the same room during their work hours. Tamaya was furious about the flag situation. She ranted for a good five minutes without anyone interrupting her about how fucking horrible people were and that she was going to find that little piece of shit and cut his hands off. Kasumi nodded in approval while drinking some horchata she had bought for herself, probably thinking about how to ask Tamaya to let her join her revolution (something she didn’t need to do, since Tamaya always included Kasumi in everything she did). Evander, on the other hand, was very quiet, something that made him feel a little bit relieved because he was not a sensitive person and Simon didn’t want him to... Evander the situation.
He didn’t say anything insensitive that day, though.
In fact, he said something… helpful, even.
“What about a flag made of light?”
Hugh rubbed his eyes and Simon knew what he was going to say before he opened his mouth.
Because he said that phrase constantly.
“Shut the fuck up, Evander.”
But Evander didn’t shut up. “Dude, think about it. No one would be able to take down a flag made of light.”
And everyone realized that, now, it was not only one of those strange occasions when the six of them got together to have lunch during their work hours; it was also one of those strange occasions when Evander had an idea that was actually good.
So after spending another hour discussing how they were going to make it work, they decided they were going to lit up the building in rainbow-colored lights.
Tamaya and Hugh were the ones in charge of almost all the operation because Evander said he had already given them the idea, so he didn’t need to do anything else (and then got mad at Hugh when he told the media he was the one who came up with it). Kasumi helped them, but was especially insistent about putting a trans pride flag somewhere in the building, and after they agreed with her, she personally hung it on the main entrance of Headquarters.
They started turning the lights on each night of June since that yeat.
Hugh and Simon still didn’t get a flag. Three nights after they told their friends about what had happened during the thunderstorm, Simon was woken up by the sound of someone crashing against the trash cans and almost jumped out of the window with his dagger on hand to slay whoever was trying to break into their house, but when he peeked out to see what was going on, he realized the “robber” was Kasumi, who had put a bunch of small pride flags on some pots they kept on their porch and started crying as soon as she realized Simon was watching her, not because she was upset the surprise she had for them had been ruined, but because now she was covered in trash.
(That week was like a sign Georgie was sending them from the afterlife to tell them they needed to install a better security system.)
Those were the only flags they kept around the house. They were small and discreet, and, most importantly, no one had taken them away. Why? Well— because they listened to Georgie’s sign and installed a better security system. Not because there weren’t any more homophobes out there who were willing to do it.
Until that moment, those flags (the little ones Kasumi had given them in a rather unconventional way and the one made of light that Evander had come up with) had been more than enough for them. But, two years after the supernova, after Tamaya notified them the gearboxes that contained the lights had gotten soaked and that she needed the money to buy more before the next day (June 1st), Simon realized they were not enough for him anymore.
Simon wanted a bigger flag.
No. He wanted two.
The biggest pride flags he could find.
***
That was the reason why, after having pancakes for breakfast (because it had rained during the night), he took the car, took the other three people living in that house with him, and after he was able to read the map, they arrived at a store that, among other things, sold flags like the ones they were looking for.
“I want one too,” Adrian told them when they were at the flag section of the store. “For my room, you know. And I want to get ones for Danna and Nova because I don’t think they have any. They would’ve told me.”
Usually, when Adrian asked for something Simon hadn’t agreed to buy him, like some candy, an action figure, or a pair of sneakers, he would turn around and ask him if he had the money to buy any of those things himself, which would anger him so much he would stop wanting that certain thing.
But that day, he felt like buying them everything they wanted. As if money grew on trees (something he always told his kids didn’t happen.)
“Of course, darling,” he answered, “get them everything you want. It’s pride month.”
“It’s May 31th,” Max said. He was inside the shopping cart Hugh had grabbed the second they entered. It was something he always did, even if they weren’t going to buy a lot of things because, according to him, it felt weird and wrong not to.
“It’s almost pride month,” he corrected himself.
“So can I get something for Nova?” Adrian asked again, just to make sure.
“You can get something for Nova,” Hugh assured him, smiling a little bit.
Adrian quickly turned around and started looking for the flag he wanted while texting Nova about something Simon couldn’t read (not like he was trying to, anyway).
After making sure Adrian stayed on the same aisle as them, they started walking around, gazing at the flags and posters available. Simon felt pretty progressive because he was able to name every single sexuality and gender they were supposed to represent. He imagined Hugh was doing the same thing, but with a lot more difficulty than him. He kept his eyes fixated on each flag longer than Simon did, as if he were trying to remember what they meant, and when he did, he pushed the cart (with Max still inside of it, playing a game on Hugh’s phone because he had forgotten his tablet at home), and the cycle began again.
But suddenly, Simon saw ones that he didn’t recognize.
After three seconds of standing in front of those little flags, someone hit him in the butt with their cart. He turned around immediately, ready to say a really threatening “Hey” to whoever had done it.
Hugh was the only other person who was there. He had been the one who had hit him with the cart.
Suddenly, Simon felt a little bit stupid for thinking someone else had done it.
The two of them maintained eye contact for a couple of seconds until Hugh started looking at his own hands grabbing the cart’s handle.
“Simon.” Before Simon could ask him what happened, he added, with a deep voice: “Move.”
Simon didn’t move. Instead, he hit the cart with his hips, just out of spite. Hugh hit him again with it, making Simon feel the unexpected need to grab the cart with his two hands and use his own weapon against him, but Max was there and they couldn’t act like kids in front of him. So he just hit the cart with his hips again, a little bit harder than the first time, and left it there.
He realized he was just going to be wasting his time asking Hugh if he knew what that flag was supposed to represent.
“Cherub,” he called Max. “Do you recognize this flag?”
Max looked up from the screen. He usually didn’t like it when he called him “cherub” in public, but this time, he didn’t seem mad about it. “Um… no? Ask Adrian—” and continued playing.
Adrian came back with a basket full of pins, and for a second, Simon almost asked him if he really was that naive to believe he was actually going to pay for all of them. But then, he realized that it was only the basket where they kept all of the pins they sold and that Adrian had taken it to show them to them.
“Look, they have so many pins here—” he started taking random pins “—this is the aromantic flag… this is the genderfluid flag—”
“Interesting,” Hugh interrupted him, “but which flag is that one?” and pointed at the one Simon didn’t recognize.
Max took a random pin from the basket and started looking at it with curiosity. Adrian almost didn’t pay attention to it, and after a few seconds, he said: “That one’s yours.”
Simon frowned and took one. It was a handheld flag with green and blue stripes, with a white one in the middle. He touched the polyester with his fingertips as if that was going to give him the ability to communicate with it.
“But we don’t have a flag,” Hugh told Adrian. “I’ve heard of the lesbian fl—”
Adrian took a pin of the lesbian flag. “This one.”
“Yeah— but gay men don’t have one.”
“The rainbow is ours,” Simon said, without taking his eyes away from the blue and green flag he was holding. “Like, it’s for all queer people.”
Hugh directed his attention to Adrian again. “You’re messing with us.”
“I do mess with you a lot,” Adrian admitted, “but this time I’m not because if I do and you get mad, you won’t buy me all the stuff I want to get.”
“Huh.”
Simon knew Adrian and Max were a lot of things, but "dumb" wasn't one of those. And Adrian was especially intelligent when it came to convincing his parents to buy him things.
So he decided to believe him.
“Well, I like it,” he said. Then, he asked Hugh: “Do you like it?”
Hugh grabbed one and observed it for a while. “I like that it has blue on it,” he finally answered, nodding a little bit.
Simon noticed Max was spacing out while playing with the pin he had taken, so he waved the flag on his face, making him laugh and sneeze because the damn thing had a lot of invisible dust Simon didn't notice at first.
“Oh, sh—”
“You know? Maybe we should get two of these,” Hugh said, waving it too, but in his case, not on the face of one of their kids. “For our offices.”
“Matching flags, very romantic.”
Max rubbed his nose. “Why don't you get a big one for the house?”
Simon quickly started to look everywhere on that aisle, and he saw a lot of big versions of the flags he had recognized before (and some of the ones Adrian had mentioned), but there were no gay flags in sight.
“Maybe next year, I guess,” he shrugged. “I don't think they have them here yet.”
He grabbed two of the rainbow flags that were there, inside their respective plastic bags, gave them to Max, and he put them on his lap, still holding that pin. Simon made a quick mental note to remind his future self they needed to pay for that (he didn’t know if it had to with the fact that Max had been spending a lot of time with Maggie, Nova’s sister, but he had developed this weird habit of stealing the most random objects one could think of. Luckily, he limited himself to stealing things from his dads and, one time, from a store.) (Kids went through weird phases when they were Max’s age.)
(Because… it was a phase, right?)
Adrian received a text. “Danna says that she already has a flag, so I’m getting her a pin,” he said after reading it. “And Nova says she wants one too.” Then, his whole face lit up. “And I could get one too so we match.”
“Copycat,” Simon accused him, jokingly. “Your dad and I got matching flags, and now you want to get matching pins with your girlfriend.”
Hugh shook his head, disappointed. “I cannot believe you have betrayed your own family like this.”
They stayed at the store another 30 minutes to buy some other things they needed for the house, and from time to time, when he or Hugh grabbed something, they pretended they didn’t see Adrian and said: “Um, but the copycat may be listening” to a point he told them to stop, and refused to forgive them until they agreed to buy him the flag he didn’t intend to get anymore, but now was going to.
He got the last bisexual flag there was at that store.
***
The first time the four of them were together in their room was last June. Something went wrong with the A/C system of the entire house and the only room where one could stay without having a heatstroke was theirs because their A/C hadn’t broken down for some reason. Adrian and Max were sleeping on the air mattress until Simon (who hadn’t been able to sleep lately) heard that one of them woke up and asked Hugh something. He sat down on the bed, at the same time Hugh moved a little bit to allow Adrian to lay down between the two of them.
Then, in the middle of the dark, his eyes met Max’s.
He looked tiny. Young. Pretty young.
And far away.
Simon couldn’t remember who did it. He didn’t remember who talked that night. It could have been him, even. But he was sure that, at that moment, someone whispered:
“Get in here, kid.”
And Max obeyed. He crawled, raised his arms towards them, and Hugh grabbed him carefully by the collar of his shirt and placed him between him and Adrian.
It was a peaceful night. The bed was big enough for the four of them, and Simon was able to sleep and actually rest for the first time in weeks.
At least until their A/C turned off with a weird sound, and the four of them woke up at the same time, sweaty, uncomfortable, and almost at 11 AM, not because they weren’t necessarily willing to stay there longer, but because the heat was starting to get unbearable and suddenly the bed was too small for three adults and a little kid that was not that little anymore.
“This isn’t a room, this is a— a freaking oven,” Hugh said, while Adrian tried to push him out of bed to get the hell out of there and seek comfort on the air mattress he had abandoned in the middle of the night.
“And we are the... cookies,” Max giggled.
“The turkey,” Simon added.
Max turned around. His whole face was red and his hair was a little bit wet. “The lasagna.”
Simon grabbed him by the cheeks; a discreet way to check if he had a fever. “The cake.”
“The ham.”
“The—”
“Dad. Move.”
Later that day, Simon called someone to fix the A/C, and that was the end of the story.
When they arrived at the house, Adrian wanted to hang his flag as soon as possible, on one of his room’s walls, but Simon insisted that they should iron it first so it looked nicer. Hugh said that he was planning on ironing the ones they had bought for the house and offered Adrian to do the same with his, but when he insinuated that he didn’t trust him enough not to mess up his flag the same way he had messed up his favorite shirt (the one he wanted to wear to take Nova to a nice place during her birthday), Hugh reminded him that the only reason he kept doing that for him was that Adrian didn’t know how to iron yet, and decided that he was going to use that moment as a teaching opportunity. Max made the mistake of laughing at his brother when he thought no one was paying attention to him, but Adrian was and dragged Max into the teaching opportunity with him.
Simon joined too. Just because.
And suddenly, the four of them were in their room again.
With the A/C on, of course.
He didn't know if Hugh had noticed, but he had been so invested in his own explanation, that after he finished ironing the two rainbow flags, he started ironing Adrian’s without realizing it. Adrian, instead of giving up and stop pretending he was paying attention, was looking, kind of mesmerized, how he opened the bag of his blue, purple, and magenta flag, and proceeded to put it on the ironing board, now telling him that when Georgie had tried to teach him how to iron his clothes, she accidentally burnt Evander.
Simon was half-listening to the story, half-listening to the music video that Max was watching on the TV. He was sitting on a big and old ottoman they had bought a long time ago but had never found the perfect place to put it and just stayed there for years until they forgot about it. Max was in front of him, sitting on the floor and resting his back on the ottoman, while he covered his blond hair with small butterfly hair clips he had found at the store and bought just because he thought they were cute (who knows, maybe Nova wanted them for Maggie, or Kasumi could use them for herself, she loved them when she was little).
When all the hair clips were on Max's hair, he took a small mirror they kept in the bathroom (but Simon borrowed it for a minute) and gave it to him so he could see the final result.
“Look at me,” Max exclaimed, laughing. “I look so pretty.”
Simon grabbed one of the hair clips and pulled it a little. “Butterfly hair clips are a popular trend this time of the year.”
“This is definitely going to make me the most popular kid in the playground.”
“Definitely.”
He leaned forward to start taking the butterfly hair clips off Max's hair and was putting them on Max’s open hand when he noticed that he hadn’t let go of the pin they bought him at the store.
(Simon did remember to pay for the thing, but if he hadn’t done it, Max wouldn’t have said anything.)
“That was really nice of you,” Simon said.
Max looked at him, confused. “What?”
“Getting a rainbow pin—” he took his other hand and started putting the hair clips on it so none of them would get lost “—to show support.”
Max didn't say anything and Simon continued with what he was doing. After the music video finished, and another one started playing, Hugh gave Adrian his flag and told him he could go and hang it in his room, and as soon as Max heard that too, he gave Simon the hair clips and followed his brother out of the room, asking him if he could help him with it.
Simon, after realizing the bag where the hair clips came in had been destroyed by Max punching holes in it with the pin, took one of the empty pill bottles he kept in his drawers and put them there.
He closed the pill bottle and realized Hugh had been gazing at him during all this time, slightly leaning on the ironing board. “What?”
“That’s my pill bottle, Si,” he told him.
“Ah—” Simon pressed his lips “—can I have it?”
“No.” Hugh smiled at him. “Yes, you can.”
“So funny. Come here—” and patted the bed mattress.
Hugh, being extremely careful not to touch the flags he just ironed, lied on the bed and sighed.
“Do you want me to play with your hair?” Simon asked him with a soft voice.
He closed his eyes and nodded.
After a while of the two of them just being silent, he said, “Hey… I heard what you told Max, by the way.”
“The butterfly hair clips trend?”
“The pin thing.”
“What about it?”
Hugh opened his eyes, just a little bit. “Just don't tell Max I told you, all right? Because he told me he wouldn't tell anyone else until he was sure, but… I think it's important the two of us know,” he explained.
Simon was starting to feel his palms get a little bit sweaty. “Okay— but just tell me, please.”
He checked overhearing their conversation one last time, and that the kids were still at Adrian's room. “Max told me a couple of days ago that he has been thinking about… what he likes.”
He stopped playing with his hair for a second. But then, he continued.
It was his way of coping with the feeling of his stomach twisting inside of him. “What he likes?” Hugh nodded again. “Huh. And has he— does he has an idea or—”
“No, he doesn't,” Hugh answered. “He just knows that he doesn't like girls. Or that's what he told me.”
Simon raised his eyebrows and scoffed. “That sounds like a lot of things. Not liking girls.”
Hugh scoffed too. “That's what I told him. And that he can take all the time he needs to figure it out. Because he can—”
“Yes. Yes, of course, he can,” Simon assured, with determination. “Life is longer than we think it is.”
They stayed silent again. And Simon couldn’t help but feel relive inside his head the moment he called Max an ally, feeling his stomach twisting even more at every second it passed.
“I feel bad.”
“Why?”
His palms started to sweat again. “Because I called him an ally.”
“It’s all right. You didn’t know.”
“I shouldn’t have assumed anything.”
“You didn’t know,” Hugh repeated.
But Simon didn’t listen. “Si.”
Then, Hugh grabbed him carefully by the wrist, and, a little bit surprised, Simon tilted his head. Hugh usually didn't interrupt him when he was playing with his hair.
“What's wrong?” he asked.
“No, what’s wrong with you?” he deadpanned
Simon knew him well enough to know he wasn’t trying to be rude. It was just his way of asking things. Especially when he was genuinely worried and didn’t think about modulating his tone so it It fitted the situation better.
He sighed. Because he didn’t want to lie to him. “I assumed Max was straight.”
As soon as he said it, he realized how silly it had sounded phrased like that. But he also noticed his voice had broken and he had to put a hand on his mouth so he didn’t start crying.
And Hugh, instead of saying the encouraging phrase he expected him to say…
He smiled.
And for some reason, that made him want to cry even more. “Ew, why are you smiling?” he asked.
Hugh took his time to answer him. “Oh, it’s nothing. I think I'm just… happy.”
“Well, I’m not.”
Hugh smiled more. “I know, love, I know… It's just one of those things…” he tried to find the right words this time. “One of those things I didn't think we were going to go through together,” he kept saying. “Like… we're going to be together when Max finally discovers who he really is. Like we did with Adrian. And like other people did with us. And that makes me happy.”
Simon wanted to tell him to shut up and let him cry and be dramatic as much as he wanted because he considered he deserved it. But he tried to do it, the only thing that could come out of his lips was almost imperceptible “Yeah…” and then, a small tear started running down his face. Hugh quickly noticed this and wiped it away with his finger. Simon scoffed and looked away, rubbing his nose.
“Hey…” and he moved aside so Simon could lay beside him.
The space they had was a little too small but he didn’t mind because now he had an excuse to be closer to him.
And there it was again. Little Simon. Little Simon was there again with them.
Just that this time he wasn’t crying, or screaming, or even flickering. He was just… existing.
And all he wanted to do was to exist.
When Hugh held him that way, sometimes he felt as if it was the first time he did it. Which made Simon (and the sad, angry and scared part of Simon) wonder if there was a sad, angry and scared part of Hugh that also craved that comfort and validation, and if it was the one who hugged that younger version of Simon until they convinced each other that everything was fine.
That there was nothing wrong with neither of them.
Because sometimes it was as if people didn’t remind them that as many times as they needed. So the only option they had was to be there for the other, and tell him that it was okay to hug, to kiss, to touch, and to share until the one who was talking ended up convincing both of them.
Love wasn’t temporary.
And their love was as powerful as they wanted it to be.
Those younger versions of themselves wanted to stay like that forever every single time. But their adult versions knew they couldn’t do it because they had other responsibilities that they needed to attend.
Installing those two pride flags that were next to them, for example.
Their younger versions were excited to do that, but they also asked them if they could rest together a little bit longer. And neither of them had the heart to tell them no.
Hugh started to play with a lock of Simon’s hair. “We’ll be there to catch him.”
He knew he wasn’t talking about either of them. Even if, with his eyes closed, he could see little Hugh and little Simon holding each other’s hands and throwing themselves into the world, a little less sad, and angry, and scared than before, without being sure if there was going to be someone down there to catch them if everything went wrong.
“Together.”
And Simon agreed. “Together.”
***
“He’s going to fall.”
Simon rolled his eyes.
“No, he’s not,” Hugh told Max. “I’m here.”
“But what if—”
“Done,” Simon announced before Max could even finish his sentence. “Now, let’s just hope these things stay there as long as possible, because this ladder makes me anxious. I was trembling while putting the first flag.”
Max clicked his tongue. “It’s a windy day. The wind could have pushed the ladder or something.”
Now it was Hugh’s turn to roll his eyes. “Take my hand.”
Simon went down the ladder without letting go of his hand. Then, while Hugh took it and quickly went inside the garage to put it there, Adrian pricked his little brother up with his own rainbow flag pin, and in response, Max punched him in the stomach with all his might (which wasn’t that much). Adrian laughed and pretended to be hurt, but immediately asked him if he wanted him to help him with his pin.
Simon noticed that Adrian had already put his pin of the bisexual flag on his clothes, and watching him pull Max a little bit closer so he didn’t prink him again (now by accident), while Max gazed at his hands, trying to memorize his movements so he could do the same thing when he wanted to wear that pin again, made his mouth curved into a smile.
When his husband came back from the garage, he thought he was going to tell them to stop blocking the sidewalk and get in the house so they could continue with their day. But instead of doing that, he walked towards them and looked at their waving flags, flying on their mansion for the first time in years.
Adrian grabbed Max by the waist and carried him on his shoulders so he could have a better view. And he realized that there would be a day when they would throw themselves into the world completely alone, without knowing how people were going to act and aware that two of them were brave enough to take whatever blows that they were going to throw at them.
But they weren’t going to do it alone. Because Hugh, Simon, and their hurting parts weren’t going to spend a day without reminding them that they were going to be there, ready to catch them every single time they needed it.
Simon started to look for Hugh’s hand just to realize, Hugh was already looking for his too, and when they found each other, he couldn’t contain himself and stood on his tiptoes to kiss him on the cheek. Then, Hugh smiled and kissed him back, this time, on the corner of his lip.
Simon felt proud of what they were.
He was really proud.
And he hoped they were proud too.
#renegades#archenemies#supernova#renegades trilogy#hugh everhart#simon westwood#adrian everhart#max everhart#everhart-westwood family#the warden and the captain are sitting in a tree#obsi's writs#i should get an oscar for the homophobic storm joke
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hi! i was wondering if you’d recommend other authors that you enjoy or even specific fanfics you like? i’ve only just started getting into the steve/tony fandom and want to follow more people! thank you!
Hi there!!! Welcome to the fandom!!!<3<3<3
I’m so glad you asked this question since I’ve always wanted to do a fic rec post!!!!
HERE WE GO:
10K+ WORDS (ONE CHAPTER) FICS:
Quit while you’re ahead by magicasen
“It began, as things tend to between them, as a bet.”
the reason you ruminate the shadowy past by Mizzy
“So, Captain America effectively manages to cockblock Tony for a year.
It's not Steve's fault. Well, actually, it is. But he was just proving a point - that if a superhero is gay, how can it be wrong? Steve just picked the wrong superhero to make the point with. Now America will think they're dating - and Tony's not going to be the guy to break Captain America's heart.
There's only one way out. To save face, Steve and Tony have to become fake boyfriends. Steve thinks the "boyfriends" bit will be the hardest to act... but maybe it's the "fake" part that will be the hardest act of all...”
made to make you blue by gottalovev
“Steve, drunk for the first time since the serum, hits on Tony. It's everything Tony's ever dreamt about, but he refuses to have sex with a drunk Steve who can't truly consent. They do kiss, though, and Tony stays the night. The morning after brings a misunderstanding of disastrous proportion, where both men wrongly assume the other is uninterested. Life gets extremely complicated when Enchantress, mad at Thor, casts a spell that links people who love each other together, letting them feel the other's pain.”
On the Turning Away by thegraytigress
“Tony's new relationship with Steve is going great. They're a few weeks into it, and it's utterly amazing. He's feeling better and more sure of himself than he ever has before. Honestly, he's flying high.
But then he asks Steve a simple, logical, and seemingly innocent question: "do you want to spend the night?" And everything comes crashing down.”
love the sin, love the sinner by silkspectred
“It keeps happening. Not often, just once or twice a month, but it keeps happening. Always in the same way: it’s unplanned, sudden, unexpected, Steve is surprised and eager, his dick goes from zero to one hundred in two seconds, Tony’s touch is electric, everything he does drives Steve crazy, but he never lets Steve kiss him, he very rarely looks Steve in the eye, he never talks, never makes a sound when he comes, never mentions it later.”
Of Beards and Best Defenders by nannersmelo
“Tony finds out about when Steve had a beard once upon a time, and outraged that he never got to see it, decides to find a way to witness it by himself.”
Tony Pretends To Date Steve (Until He Doesn't Have To) by HappyStony
“"You alright?"
Of course he was not alright! Tony had a blue eyed, blond haired, six foot too high, two hundred who knows what pound, too sexy for his own good ninety something, mentally twenty, year old man on top of him. Who even asks that question in a situation like that?
Or: Basically the title. Tony pretends he's dating Steve until...well, you know.”
i have found the one (whom my soul loves) by soniclipstick (veriscence)
“It's been months since the Avengers were pardoned. One by one, they'd all gone home, until Steve finds himself alone in the grand old building T'Challa had given them.
But everything changes when Steve answers the doorbell, and Tony Stark strides in with more grey on his temple and make-up on his face than Steve remembers.”
Hating Steve Rogers by nanasekei
“The thing about hating Steve Rogers is that it shouldn’t be easy - but it really, really is.”
we have become something different, beloved (tragic and lovely) by Areiton, venusiaries
“"What's the Accords?" he asks, and Tony's head tilts. "I don't think that concerns you," he says. "But you don't deny that it's something." "There's a lot of something's I'm involved in that you don't know about," Tony says.
~~~~
There's a story, years long and publicly known, about the way the Avengers ended and why. And then there is the truth, carefully hidden and protected.”
remedy by quidhitch
““I like the walls,” Steve shrugs, knocking his knuckles against the side as if to demonstrate. “Makes me feel covered.”
A soldier in a fortress, Tony thinks, which is a pretty ridiculous thought to have about Captain America and his enormous limbs stuffed into a too-small bathtub, but there it is.
Or: Tony Stark learns a thing or two about what it means to be In Recovery™.”
Binary System by Annie D (scaramouche) ( @no-gorms )
“Tony tends to be tactile with people he trusts. These days that list of people includes Steve, which is a good sign of the progression of their friendship. For his part, Steve seems to enjoy it as much as Tony does... until Tony goes a little too far.”
The Best Policy by starknjarvis
“Tony Stark breezes through life on bluster and bullshit. When he gets hit by a truth spell, he locks himself away in his workshop so he can find a way to reverse it without anyone finding out. So why can't he say no when Steve keeps asking to spend time with him?”
Slipping off the Page into Your Hands by Sineala ( @sineala )
“Soulmates have their first words to each other written on their wrists. This should make it easy. For Steve and Tony, it is anything but. Steve's problem is that the future he has awoken into is nothing he was ever expecting: he has a soulmate now. Who might be a robot. And if his soulmate is Iron Man, how can he be so attracted to Tony Stark? It should be impossible. Tony's problem is that he is Iron Man, his soulmate is a man whom he in no way deserves, and he is going to fight everything in his heart and do his best to make sure Steve never, ever finds out the whole truth.”
How to Win Affection Without Really Trying by Annie D (scaramouche)
“Tony almost dies saving Steve’s life, but that’s just part of being an Avenger. It’s no reason for Steve to get all weird and intense around him afterward.”
A Certain Affinity by miobambiino ( @miobambiino )
“"They were like that a lot nowadays, ever since they got back from their little kidnapping escapade. Sure, they’d been close before then - they all had - but now… it was different. They were close, close. Squishing up next to each other, whispering to one another, playing with each others hair, apparently.
Steve inwardly grimaced at himself. He was being bitter and petty, he knew that. But he couldn’t figure out why, though. His teammates were getting along, which is only a good thing. Especially considering how they started things off way back on the helicarrier. But since when were Tony and Nat this cosy?"
Aka Steve is jealous of Tony and Nat's friendship, gets the wrong idea, and requires a little help from Nat herself to get some well-needed perspective.”
Admiring the Scenery by Annie D (scaramouche)
“Steve’s used to people checking him out, but when Tony does it, it feels… different.”
Symmetry Breaking by Annie D (scaramouche)
“After the Battle of New York, Steve rode off on his motorbike. That's how it went the first time.
This time he rides back, all the way to Stark Tower, where he asks Tony for help.”
MULTICHAPTERS FICS:
almeno tu nell'universo by silkspectred
“Tony drives off.
Well, he wants to.
But he can’t.
Because.
Steve Rogers is in front of his car.
Steve fucking Rogers. Is in front of Tony’s fucking car.”
take my heart clean apart by mistymountainking
“He’s tired, so tired of waiting, tired of touches with no meaning, tired of holding his breath when Steve’s in the room, tired of keeping this love to himself.
“I can’t—I can’t, if you don’t mean it.”
***
Tony comes home exhausted after an SI event. Steve acts as welcoming committee. It's an old, careworn routine they've perfected over the years, but tonight ends up going in a very different direction.”
Thrust Issues by Sineala
“A battle gone wrong leads Tony to the unexpected and pleasant discovery that Steve is much more well-endowed than he could ever have imagined. But when Tony learns that Steve has never actually been able to sleep with anyone because of his size, Tony does what any good friend would do: he offers to relieve Steve of his virginity. Personally. Tony's determined, Tony's methodical, and Tony has a plan. He's going to get Steve laid. Tony just needs to make sure Steve never finds out that Tony's in love with him.”
Overhaul by Annie D (scaramouche)
“Steve knows that Tony has feelings for him and, since he doesn’t return those feelings, has been mildly dreading the day that Tony decides to do something about it. When that day finally arrives, Steve discovers that Tony’s wooing strategy isn’t anything at all like he’d expected.”
Whatever Makes You Happy by WilmaKins ( @wilmakins )
“Steve and his team never stopped Avenging. So when T'Challa tells them about strange events at the site of an ancient landmark, everything seems quite simple. Of course they'll help Shuri to investigate it - helping people is what they do, after all.
Until they discover that a race of alien empaths are harvesting human emotions as a source of power. Specifically, they're using the misery of one Tony Stark.
So, until they work out what's really going on, the fate of the world might depend on them keeping Tony happy.
Not simple. Not simple at all.
Set six months after CA:CW.”
a catalog of non-definitive acts by firebrands ( @firebrands )
“Tony's seen the way Steve watches him, trails after him just for a moment, then catches himself. Let it never be said that Tony Stark doesn’t pay attention. At least, when it matters.
*
Or, Steve, Tony, and the emotional fallout of keeping secrets. (Set in some nebulous time pre-AoU.)”
The Single Biggest Problem With Communication by BlossomsintheMist
“In the wake of Steve's return from the dead and the end of Norman Osborn's reign of terror, the superhero community is recovering--Steve has taken on a new role and Tony is trying to put his life back together. Things are still awkward between them, but they're determined to put things to rights. But when a discussion about their feelings leads to further misunderstandings, they discover that might be more difficult than either of them realized. Set in the early Heroic Age after the end of Dark Reign, this is a get-together story about crossed wires--and second chances.”
Broken by livink ( @anthonyed )
“After Siberia, Tony Stark faces depression, a giant purple alien and a forced reunion. Ironically, he feels as if he's the only one who is broken in this journey. Until he comes across Barnes. Then, Bruce, Natasha and Wanda. Later, he realises that the man who broke him is broken too and this is a story where they heal and find their footings back.”
wonderland by Areiton
“Six weeks after being abandoned in Siberia, Tony wakes in a Tower, next to the man who broke his heart and his trust. But the world--whatever Wonderland world they’ve landed in--isn’t like their own. The Avengers are happy here. Tony and Steve are married here. With a direct line to Steve’s emotions and the team that he’s always wanted--Tony is more than a little tempted to stay. Seeing how happy Tony is, how healthy Bucky is--Steve doesn’t disagree. But there are cracks in Wonderland and the shiny paint peeling might leave a nightmare behind--one that Tony and Steve will need each other more than ever, to escape.”
when i run out of road, you bring me home by quidhitch
““Oh, I won’t bother you.” The tone of Steve’s voice implies that he definitely will be bothering Tony, aggressively and frequently. “Don’t worry about it. I’ll keep to my farm, you keep to yours. Solitude together.”
Tony opens his mouth to argue that that’s not how this works, but he snaps it shut at the realization that Steven Grant Rogers is fucking with him. That twinkle in his eye has accelerated into a full-on glimmer, and the ends of his lips are twitching. Jesus, he hates this man. Or maybe he wishes he did. Tony can’t really tell the difference anymore.”
Down in Lonesome Town by resurrectedhippo
“Tony eyes him. “Why do I always find my way back to you?”
Maybe he didn’t necessarily return to Steve, but fate is a funny little thing, and after living a life of loss, Steve wants something that’s his to keep. Tony deserves a love that’s unrestrained; Steve thinks he’ll erupt with it.
Love is messy, not easy, and takes work.
Maybe love feels like rage.
But maybe love could just be jumping off a rocky mountain and smiling anyway.
After the universe is restored, Steve is lost without any direction. Retiring from the Avengers, he moves across the country and ends up building a house by a misty blue lake. Across the bridge is Tony Stark’s new workshop.”
In the Stillness of Remembering by elise_509
“Steve Rogers is a reminder of a past that Tony Stark would rather forget. But when Steve’s own ghosts suddenly become the present, Tony finds he and Steve need each other to face the future.”
Good For You by orbingarrow
“Steve doesn't understand why Tony dates people who abuse him. Tony doesn't understand why Steve cares.
The rest is bad choices, good choices, rehab, milkshakes, paintball, YouTube videos, couples therapy and learning to put the past in the past. Or: How Tony finds his happy ending.”
SERIES:
Pulse-Point by itsallAvengers
Guys and Bots by Annie D (scaramouche)
AUTHORS:
I love very deeply each author of the fics I’ve listed, but these are the main blogs I follow here on tumblr who regularly post 1K (more or less) words fic:
@omg-just-peachy
@no-gorms
@maguna-stxrk
@natasharxmanov
@s-horne
@firebrands
@iam93percentstardust
@anthonyed
@ad1thi
@littlemissstark
@chirriko
@tinytonysnark
(Plus self-spam: MrsWinterBreath , my own ao3 profile!)
Lastly, check @sabrecmcstonyficrecs blog by @sabrecmc who is not only an extremely talented writer themself, but also incredibly patient and kind enough to offer masterposts with fics about any Stony trope you could ever think of!!!
This is a non-exhaustive list because there are a LOT more authors out there that deserve their works to be read, so I suggest you giving it a chance even to fics and authors you’ve never heard of, you might find a masterpiece without even realising it!!!!
And most importantly: always leave a kudos and comment if you liked what you read, this way I guarantee you the authors will be more than happy to keep on providing you with amazing works!!!!
#stony#stony fic#stony fanfiction#stevetony#stevetony fic#stevetony fanfiction#steve x tony#tony x steve#superhusbands#iron man#captain america#tony stark#steve rogers#stony fic rec#stevetony fic rec
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Foreign Exchange
This is a re-release since the previous version got blocked for unknown reasons. I’m not going to bother to find yet another photo that doesn’t break the content rule, so you’ll have to imagine the lower part of a slim, white guy wearing red trunks with the outline of a massive penis. Or read the original story and more on my Patreon.
It all started in what was supposed to be a one week stay in Cape Town. I don't know what the airline had smoked, but a round trip from Europe sold for almost nothing during a few hours. Probably some clerical error in the pricing department. Whatever the reason, I shuffled some tasks around and manage to arrange myself a one week spring vacation. I had no idea of what to expect. Only thing I knew about South Africa was the Kruger Park, the worlds first heart transplant, excellent red wines, Apartheid and Mandela.
It started out amazing. I found a cheap place in Green Point, close to lots of the tourist places, and started to drink my way through South African wine bottles. It was on the third evening I made the wrong move. No, life altering move.
I was heading back to the hotel after some late evening sea side action. I had emptied a particularly good bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon, rich with those mineral tones so prevalent in most South African wines. I was slightly sun burned, possibly lost and decidedly round footed when I walked up to two well dressed white men beating the shit out of black kid.
- Hey, stop that!
I said before my brain had fully reengaged. They did stop. One of the men stared right at me, eyes filled with disdain.
- What you say?
I didn't have time to answer him when something hard hit the back of my head with a thud and everything lost focus and disappeared.
When I came to everything was black and my head hurt like hell. I was lying awkwardly, hands bound behind my back, feet tied together, and some sort of bag tied around my head. The sound made me think I was in someones trunk, but I guess it could have been a van or a covered pick up flat bed just as well. In any event, the vehicle was running fast on what I assumed to be a highway. After a bit of struggle I concluded that I was not just bound up, but also tied down and couldn't move much at all. After a boring hour or so still drunk me slipped back into sleep.
Next time I woke up the vehicle was standing still. I was still as tied up as before, but I could hear someone speaking Afrikaan a few steps away. He came close, shuffled some things around, and then I felt a small prick on my arm. I barely had time to realize it was some sort of injection when I lost consciousness again.
Regaining consciousness was quite different third time around. I still couldn't see anything, but I could feel some swim style goggles around my head, probably blacked out. Now I was lying more properly on a firm bed or padded table. I tried to move, but like before I was tightly restrained. This time it felt more professional, like cuffs around arms and legs, and some kind of material pushing against the chest. And I was naked, I think. It was hard to determine, as the temperature was nice and I couldn't move, but I couldn't feel any clothes on my body. I tried to say "hello", but nothing came out.
This quickly became incredibly boring. I couldn't see or feel much. The smell was basically just some generic clean smell of faint detergent. With sounds there were a bit more variation. I could hear some HVAC rumbling once every 5 minutes, or so I guessed. In addition there was a constant low humming in the room. I could hear some faint sounds from outside the room. Perhaps infrequent cars coming and leaving outside the building.
By my estimate I was at least into the third wake hour when suddenly a door opened and I could hear a conversation between the two men who entered the room. They sounded quite far away, so the room was probably large.
"...so many in the database?"
"We use five key measurements combined into one value as sorting key. The circumference and length, both on flaccid and erect, are approximated into two cylinders. Balls are approximated as spheres. Then we just multiply the three volumes together to make the sorting key. First selection priority is of course bio-compatibility, but this size metric allows for fast selection within that set. It only brings candidates though. The final decision is more complex, of course."
"Complex how?"
"Well, let's ask the doctor himself. His coming here."
A third person entered the room.
"You talking about me?"
"Yes, we were just discussing the selection criteria"
"Ah. Well, since this is a demonstration we want to be bold, while being mindful of proportions and aesthetics. In addition to appearance we want to maximize as many of the secondary factors as possible from the paper. For this one we landed in using the Congo supply."
They were standing right next to me now. The "doctor" continued.
"So this is the subject. The first agent is being administered right now, as you can see. Any questions?"
I tried to say something. Anything. But only wheezing air came out.
"Is he trying to speak?", asked the first voice.
"No, he isn't. Come, let's look at the model", replied the doctor, and they left the room as quickly as they entered it.
6-8 HVAC cycles later I heard the door open again and several people walking into the room. I heard a women's voice close to me saying "Everything is green. Go ahead." and I again lost consciousness.
The room was barely furnished, completely white and bathed in light when I opened my eyes.
"Oh, how good. You are awake."
I heard a female voice in a strong South African accent. I turned my head and saw a fat, black South African lady smiling at me. I was super confused. I was in a hospital bed, but this didn't really look like a hospital, and she didn't look like a nurse.
"Wheh...", was as far as I managed on "Where am I" before my voice gave out.
"You need to drink a lot. Here, let me help", said the lady and gave me something that looked like a hospital version of a gym bottle. As I drank she continued.
"You had a traffic accident. Nothing serious. Just a concussion, so you were dismissed from the hospital to make room. This is a recovery home."
I was gulping water. Man, was I was thirsty. "Where are we?" I asked.
"Just outside the city, so still close to Johannesburg."
That's like at least 10 hours away from Cape Town. What the fuck had happened?
"What day is it?"
"It's Thursday today, dear. I'll go and get something for you to eat", the fat lady answered, and started to move towards the door.
Something just didn't feel right. It was Wednesday evening when I was kidnapped. "No, what date?"
"Thursday the 28th", she said from the door.
A whole fucking week.
I felt a sucking black hole in my gut. The lady seemed nice, but there was no way I would trust her right now. Perhaps she believed everything she had just told me, but clearly some things were not true. My head felt fine, as opposed to the last time I was conscious, but what about the rest? I didn't feel any restraints, just my body in a hospital gown, under some white sheets. In fact, nothing hurt anywhere. Just thirsty, still, hungry and a need to piss.
I could see a different door in another wall than the nurse had just left through. Presumably a private toilet for this small recovery room. A pair of slippers stood next to the bed, so I threw off the blankets began to sit up and swing out my legs. That's when I first felt it. It was weird feeling, familiar, but yet very different.
I quickly kicked my feet into the slippers and carefully, still a bit woozy, shuffled into the bath room. It was surprisingly roomy. Well, perhaps not surprisingly, given the number of people with casts, wheelchairs and whatnot passing through. But it had plenty of room around the toilet seat and sink, and a full length mirror next to the sink, presumably for wheel chair bound people.
I raised the gown from my knees to expose my front, and just stared for a several seconds to fully understand what I saw. My dick and balls were gone. In its place was the largest, most aggressively male genitalia I had ever seen, even in pictures. The massive dick went almost down to my knees, and thick as a can of red bull. And even though it was completely flaccid it was veiny as cabbage and the outlines of a massive head was clearly visible through the uncut foreskin.
Behind the dick were two softball sized testicles hanging low, but unevenly so. It was all topped off with a large bush of coarse hair. And all of it, the hair, the balls and the dong, where dark chocolate black.
I just stared in disbelief. Then tentatively I touched the penis. Yep, it was real and it was now apparently mine. Standing straight my hands couldn't even reach halfway down to the tip. My mind caught up with reality and was filling with questions. Who did this? Why did they do this? How did they do this? Isn't there organ rejection? Aren't you supposed to eat some sort of pills forever after receiving a transplant? Are there even any pants I can wear anymore? Did baller shorts just become underwear?
I went to the toilet and emptied my bladder. It worked fine. Better than fine even, as aiming just became a lot easier with such a hose, although using paper involved lifting. Lifting! I could feel that it was much more sensitive than what I was used to, and felt it starting to come alive. I quickly dropped it and went back to bed. Just as I did lunch arrived.
Once fed, and having checked with the care taker, Amahle, that she wouldn't be back for two hours, I decided to try out my new dong. Tissues were already on the side table. I sat up in bed, kicked off the sheet and had another look under the gown. I was again taken aback with the sight. It wan't just massive, but somehow everything, length, girth, balls, looked to be in proportion. I must admit that I haven't spent much time thinking about, looking at or describing cocks, but the first words that came to mind were aggressive, intimidating and virile. The black skin made it even more so, as the light from the window created contrasting highlights on the veins.
Carefully I looked at the border, where the black skin met my pasty, white body. Rather than a sharp line, as I had expected, there was a narrow gradient where one color blended over to the other. How on earth was this done? It looked like perhaps a decades old surgery where the scar had long since gone soft.
I resumed where we left off in the bathroom, slowly stroking it. It reacted right away, and apparently was a grower as well as a shower. Holy fuck was it massive. I just lied in bed and over perhaps 20 minutes had the best wank in my life. I have no idea whose dick I was giving a handjob, but this was clearly his loss and my gain. It was filled to the brim with nerve endings, making every stroke amazing. Or perhaps it was designed and grown in a lab somewhere? In that case, props to the cocksmith.
The head was leaking precum like crazy, sending small droplets of man lube for every noisy slosh of foreskin riding up and down the head. I was probably suffering from some sort of auto-erotic asphyxiation with so much blood displaced, but I managed to be amazed over how long I lasted, in the fog of pleasure.
When I finally couldn't keep it contained anymore, I erupted in rope after rope of cum going everywhere. On my chest, in my face, and some overshooting me all together. As I was catching my breath, sweaty and sticky, I was thinking about what to tell Amahle. Or if I should get up and do some attempts to clean up the mess first. I realized I had plenty of problems ahead of me. Cleaning up, getting home, ever wearing pants again, figuring out how to use toilets. But at least there and then I could not care less.
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Chapter 55: Movie Night
Lots of quotes from the movie Lilo & Stitch ahead! Fewer quotes, but some, from Trolls and Frozen.
Bold italics are trollish, ~tildes~ indicate goblin.
Content warnings for this chapter: Swearing. Here we reach the story's first F-bomb.
Also, there is some talk between characters about the harshness of life in the Darklands, how Changelings are treated by the Gumm-Gumms, and mentions of cannibalism.
This was supposed to be a light-happy chapter that got feels-y at the end, but then it went and got all dark on me.
Oh, also-also, (Not) Enrique finds out Claire flirted with Jim a while ago and misinterprets what exactly happened between them, but that gets cleared up fast.
Becoming The Mask
Once again, Javier and Ophelia Nuñez were out for the evening, leaving Claire in charge of Enrique. Claire had gotten permission to invite "some friends" over to watch movies. Jim and Toby arrived to find Mary and Darci already there – Jim suspected, like the time he'd 'babysat', that Claire had purposefully asked him to arrive after she knew her parents would be gone.
They set up piles of cushions and blankets on the floor between the couch and the TV. Jim propped the Amulet up on the coffee table they'd pushed to one side. Maybe some of the ghost Trollhunters would be interested in human movies.
"Finally get your fill of the touchy-feelies?" Enrique teased Jim, seeing how they were all seated separately. Jim snorted.
"Not hardly." He pulled the smaller Changeling in for a hug. "Humans just have different rules about casual touching, is all. Freezing to death's not really a concern in this climate."
"Wait, what?" said Toby, dropping the pillow he'd been holding. Jim looked up to see all the humans staring at him.
"Darklands thing," said Enrique easily. "Gets cold there."
"We'd sleep in piles," Jim explained. "I had a bit of a reputation for being … clingy."
"If you weren't good at finding food and soft stuff, we'd never've put up with ya." Enrique proved himself a liar by climbing onto Jim's shoulders instead of jumping back to the floor. He fluffed the hair on Jim's scalp. "Jimmy-boy got his first nickname for that."
"Shut up," said Jim playfully. "Anyway, humans get weird about touching around puberty. I can still hug Mom whenever I want, but Toby gets embarrassed if I hug him around other people, and Claire, Mary, and Darci haven't given me permission to touch them casually yet."
"… Did you … want permission?" asked Claire. "You, kinda, said you were uncomfortable with that, I thought."
"No, it was more wondering if you were flirting with me that felt weird," Jim assured her. "After that conversation I felt like it'd be awkward to bring up that I was open to hugging and such."
Jim thought he felt Enrique growl, to quietly to properly hear. His hand, still in Jim's hair, changed position so the tips of Enrique's claws were on Jim's scalp.
"When exactly did this happen?" Enrique asked.
"Claire kissed Jim on the cheek on his birthday and then Jim said he wasn't interested in dating her," said Mary.
"Also that I realized she might not have meant it in a flirty way and if I was misinterpreting things she could ignore what I was saying," Jim added. The claws retreated.
Claire looked away. "So what movie did we want to start with?"
"Lilo & Stitch!" exclaimed Darci, looking through the shelves. "I haven't watched this in forever!"
"That's a good one." Jim tilted his head to get Enrique back in his peripheral vision. "Enrique, have you seen it yet?"
"… Yeah."
"Isn't that the one that always makes you cry?" asked Toby.
"It's beautiful. Of course I cry."
Stitch was a constructed 'abomination', who shapeshifted to blend in, and his adopted family found out what he truly was and still wanted him. How could Jim be expected to keep his composure in the face of that?
"So, quick question," said Jim. "Is talking during the movie a crime, or is commentary what makes it a group activity?"
"Commentary," said all three girls together.
"Okay, good." Jim and Toby usually talked during movies, unless one or both of them were seeing it for the first time. Sometimes even then.
+=+
"Not guilty! My experiments are only theoretical, and completely within legal boundaries."
"We believe you actually created something."
"Created something? Ha! But that would be irresponsible, and, unethical. I would never, ever – make more than one."
"What is that monstrosity?"
"Monstrosity?! What you see before you is the first of a new species!"
"You have to wonder if she and Merlin ever had a talk like this," Enrique muttered in Jim's ear. Jim snickered.
"And as for that abomination … it is the flawed product of a deranged mind. It has no place among us."
Jim stopped laughing and cringed. He loved this movie a lot, but some of it stung.
+=+
"A quiet capture would require an understanding of 626 that we do not possess! Who, then, Mr Pleakley, would you send for his extraction?"
"… Does he have a brother? Close grandmother, perhaps?"
"Fun fact," said Darci, "in early drafts Stitch was a career criminal and Jumba was an old accomplice."
"Friendly cousin? Neighbour with a beard?"
+=+
"Surely the teacher won't notice I was late if he doesn't see me come in!" Claire narrated sarcastically.
+=+
"I'm sorry, Scrump!" Mary wailed, as Lilo ran back to retrieve the doll she'd angrily thrown aside.
+=+
"Let me illuminate to you the precarious situation in which you have found yourself. I am the one they call when things go wrong. And things have indeed gone wrong."
"As a cook, that kitchen horrifies me," said Jim.
+=+
"If you promise not to fight anymore, I promise not to yell at you – except on special occasions."
"Tuesdays and bank holidays would be good."
The entire group cracked up.
"How does kid Lilo's age even know what a bank holiday is?" said Claire. "I don't even know what a bank holiday is!"
"Maybe she saw it printed on a calendar?" said Toby.
+=+
A raindrop fell on Stitch's head. He fired his ray gun into the sky. It started raining, hard.
"Oh, no, I broke the sky!" Darci cried.
+=+
"Does it have to be this dog?"
"He survived getting hit by a truck, how much more sturdy and not-gonna-die do you want?" asked Jim.
"Yes. He's good. I can tell."
+=+
"I'm sorry I bit you. And pulled your hair. And punched you in the face."
Mary nudged Claire. "Remind you of anyone?"
Like sunflowers, everyone else popped up and turned towards them.
Claire blushed. "We got into a fight in first grade and for like two days we decided we didn't want to be friends anymore, then our moms made us say sorry."
"He will be irresistibly drawn to large cities, where he will back up sewers, reverse street signs, and steal everyone's left shoe."
"It's weird they get in trouble for everything but this," commented Enrique. "Human grown ups might not believe a dog stole a trike, but wouldn't they think Lilo did it? She's fought the other kid before."
"It's nice to live on an island with no large cities."
+=+
"It's not an angel, Lilo, I don't even think it's a dog!"
"Isn't that the rolling thing Draal can do?" said Toby.
"Yeah, more or less," said Jim. "I mean, I don't think Draal bites his feet – but maybe that's the trick."
"At least with those stick legs you've got," said Enrique. He curled into a ball and rolled in a circle around the group. "Face it, you're out of proportion for this move."
+=+
"626 was designed to be a monster. But now, there is nothing to destroy. You see, I never gave him a greater purpose. What must it be like, to have nothing? Not even memories to visit, in the middle of the night?"
"Now, this next bit I don't care for," said Jim. "The Ugly Duckling is a messed-up story."
"What've you got against The Ugly Duckling?" asked Mary.
"The blatant segregationist propaganda? 'A swan will never fit in with ducks and everyone is better off sticking with their own kind'. You don't even have to read it as a race metaphor. Between that and The Little Mermaid, I thought for while that Hans Christian Anderson was a Changeling writing cautionary tales about why we shouldn't get attached to humans."
"… Was he?" asked Claire.
"Probably not. I couldn't find any real evidence and the rest of his work doesn't match the pattern."
"Counterpoint," said Darci. "The Ugly Duckling is pro-integration. Everyone thought he was an ugly duckling because they didn't know what swans look like. If he'd grown up with ducks and swans around, they could've judged him for what he was instead of what he couldn't measure up to, and he might've had a happy childhood instead of only finding a community that accepted him as an adult."
Jim considered this, and nodded. "I guess I can see that, too."
+=+
"Heard you lost your job."
"Well, uh, actually, I just quit. That job. Because, you know, the hours are just not conducive to the challenges of raising a child –"
"Nani, no!" Jim begged. "I know almost nothing about Social Services but I'm pretty sure choosing to leave your only source of income looks worse to them than just losing it!"
"Thus far you have been adrift in the sheltered harbour of my patience; but I cannot ignore you being jobless. Do I make myself clear?"
"Perfectly."
"And next time I see this dog, I expect it to be a model citizen. Capiche?"
"Uh … yes?"
"New job. Model citizen. Good day."
+=+
"So, we saw Cobra on the beach after all the tourists got scared off … D'you think he was just standing there watching them the whole time?" Mary wondered out loud after the surfing sequence.
+=+
"Until we meet again …"
Lilo was about to tell Stitch about her parents. Without thinking, Jim grabbed the remote – on the coffee table, next to the amulet – to fast forward.
"What are you doing?" Darci cried. "This is one of the big emotional turning points of the film!"
Jim paused it. "Sorry. Uh … Tobes and I usually skip this scene."
"I think I can handle it," Toby assured Jim. To the girls and Enrique, he explained, "My parents died in a storm when I was two. A cruise ship, not a car accident. I got kind of upset the first time we watched this as kids, and, we got in the habit fast forwarding this part. I think I'm okay with it now."
"You're sure?" asked Jim.
"I'm sure."
"Okay …" He rewound to the point where he'd started fast forwarding.
"That's us before. It was rainy, and they went for a drive. What happened to yours?"
Jim watched Toby more than the movie for the next few minutes.
"I'll remember you, though. I remember everyone that leaves."
"Do you remember them?" Claire asked quietly.
"Only the stuff Nana tells me." Toby shrugged, and readjusted the cushions he'd propped up his arms on. "I've seen lots of pictures. A couple home movies."
+=+
"Don't run. Don't make me shoot you. You were expensive. Yes, yes, that's it, come quietly."
"I'm … waiting."
"For what?"
"Family."
"Ah. You don't have one. I made you."
"Maybe … I could –"
"You were built to destroy. You can never belong."
Jim blinked fast to keep the tears back. He sniffed, and pulled the blankets more tightly around him.
+=+
"Okay, talk! I know you had something to do with this, now where's Lilo? Talk! I know you can."
"Claire?" said Mary. "You okay?"
Jim looked over. Claire's jaw was clenched, and her hands were tight on the blanket, and her eyes were huge and fixed on the screen, and she was shaking.
"Ah … maybe the little sib getting snatched by otherworldly forces wasn't the best movie choice," Enrique said. He reached out like he was about to go to Claire, then pulled back his hand and hunkered down where he was.
"LILO! She's a little girl this big, she has black hair and brown eyes, and she hangs around with that THING!"
"I'm. Fine," Claire insisted.
"You're sure?"
"We can just fast forward."
"I said I'm fine!"
"Okay …"
Mary and Darci each scooted their blanket and cushion piles closer to Claire's, bracketing her on either side. Jim tactfully retreated to the Nuñezes kitchen to microwave a few more bags of popcorn. Enrique went with him. They could still hear the TV.
"What? After all you put me through, you expect me to help you just like that? Just like that?!"
"Ih."
"Fine."
"Fine? You're doing what he says?"
"Ah, he is very persuasive."
"Is it normal to feel bad for her?" Enrique asked.
"I think so? It's an awkward situation for both of you." Jim selected the white cheddar flavour. "But it's not like there's an alternative. You're not a polymorph. And really, the only reason she's upset is because she found out."
The Nuñezes had the same microwave as the Lakes. Jim didn't find the popcorn setting especially useful for this brand of popcorn – it tended to burn a third of the kernels– so he used the timer instead.
"I never apologized to you for that, did I?" Jim asked.
"It wasn't all your fault."
"Still, I'm sorry for my part in getting you caught."
The Changelings got back to the living room in time to see the unfortunate tourist lose his ice cream for the third time.
+=+
"Does Stitch have to go in the ship?"
"Yes."
"Can Stitch say goodbye?"
"… Yes."
Like he always did during this scene, Jim cried. He let himself do it this time.
+=+
"Wait, how is Little Mermaid a cautionary tale?" asked Enrique during the credits. The camera panned over a photo of Stitch reading to a flock of ducklings. "For getting attached, I mean. I thought the moral of that one was to control yer temper and be careful who you made deals with?"
"Sure, the Disney version," said Jim. "They adapted it to make a more dramatic, less depressing story. And give the characters names. In the older version, the sea witch is actually a neutral character. The terms of the mermaid's transformation are that she's traded her tongue for legs, but walking on land hurts, and she'll become fully human if the prince marries her, but if he marries anybody else, she'll die."
"That doesn't sound neutral."
"Wait for it. The prince gets engaged to a human princess, so the mermaid's older sisters trade their hair to the sea witch for a magic knife and a loophole; if the little mermaid kills the prince before the wedding, she can turn back into a mermaid and survive."
"Kay, I see it now."
"Except she doesn't go through with the kill, so she dies, and because she wasn't really human, she doesn't have a proper soul, so her spirit's not allowed to go to Heaven."
"… Whoa."
"I know, right?"
"I mean," Mary commented, "not murdering somebody is kind of a low bar for moral decency. It's not as if the prince owed her anything just because she was attracted to him."
"No, no, whether the prince deserved to die or not is irrelevant," said Jim. "The point is that the mermaid had a chance to, objectively, trade one life for another, and because she was attached to the particular person she'd have to kill, she didn't prioritize her own survival, and therefore suffered."
"Wouldn't the guilt of murder have caused suffering anyway?" Toby pointed out.
"Not if she wasn't attached," Jim insisted. How were they not getting this? "If she could've just cut the throat of any random human, she'd've been fine. The moral of the story is that caring about people causes pain. That's what makes it depressing."
"Do you like any fairy tales?" asked Darci.
"Sure. Just not most of Anderson's work."
"What should we watch next?" said Claire hospitably. "If we're on a 'sister movies' theme, I've got Frozen."
"Isn't that one also based on an Anderson fairy tale?" said Mary.
"Not really," said Jim. "The Snow Queen was more 'inspiration' than 'source material'. Elsa never kidnaps anyone, and they left out the broken enchanted mirror. Plus it's fun to see all the different ways humans think trolls are like."
"We also have the Trolls movie," said Claire. "I haven't watched it yet. My dad got it for Mom's birthday because she used to collect the dolls."
"I haven't seen that one yet, either," Darci commented.
"Should we?" said Mary. "Any other votes?"
"I'm game for whatever," said Toby. "This one's a musical, right? Those are always fun."
Jim squirmed.
He hadn't watched this movie despite his curiosity, after an online clip of the opening had explained the premise. Getting eaten alive was his greatest fear. Did he want to watch a movie about trolls narrowly avoiding being eaten? Did he want to explain why he didn't want to watch it?
While he debated, the movie got put in.
"Once upon a time, in a happy forest, in the happiest tree, lived the happiest creatures the world has ever known: the trolls. They loved nothing more than to sing, and dance, and hug, and dance and hug and sing and dance and sing and hug –"
Enrique started laughing.
Oh, shit, Jim hadn't warned him.
"Uh, Enrique –"
"Ssh! This is ridiculous. I mean, the huggy bit's kind of like you, but the rest of it – ha!"
"But then one day, the trolls were discovered by – a Bergen!"
"The trolls are gonna –"
"Ji-im! Spoilers!" Toby hissed.
"They were the most miserable creatures in all the land."
Jim grabbed Enrique and covered his eyes. The smaller Changeling yelped and squirmed. Jim switched forms so his fingers wouldn't bleed from the clawing.
Enrique got his eyes uncovered just in time to see the Bergen flick a troll into its mouth.
The onscreen troll's exclamation of "Oh my god!" was drowned out by Enrique's much more lurid cursing.
"What the –?" The girls and Toby all turned to stare. Claire pointed at Enrique accusingly. "I knew that didn't mean 'I'm sorry'!"
"The hell kinda movie is this?! Why would you watch this?!" He twisted to look at Jim, who let go of him rather than risk yanking his scruff by accident. "You knew?!"
"I saw a bit of it on the internet when it first came out. That's why I froze up when Claire suggested it."
That … that was the wrong thing to say. Enrique rounded on Claire. A techno-rock cover of In The Hall Of The Mountain King boomed from the movie soundtrack.
"Why in FUCK'S NAME would you think we'd WANT to watch trolls get EATEN? Is this some kind of threat?"
"How the fuck would it be a threat?" Claire shot back, stealing some cushions from Mary to prop herself up taller without getting out of her blanket cocoon.
"Most Changelings –" Jim started to say.
"DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY TIMES I'VE ALMOST BEEN EATEN?" Enrique roared. "I DON'T! CAUSE IT'S A LOT!"
"We've all had close calls," Jim finished. "Nyarlagroths, Hellheetis, goblins if you catch them in the wrong mood, Gruesomes if you're already hurt, Stalklings, and it's a … popular threat from Gumm-Gumms."
"You forgot the sloorbeasts," said Enrique bitterly.
"Nobody's gotten lichen patches that bad." At least, they hadn't when Jim got out. "Have they?"
"Still counts."
"Uh, excuse me." Toby raised his hand. "I think I speak for us all when I say, what?"
"The Darklands are a hostile environment with predators and scavengers," explained Jim. "That's the other reason we slept in groups."
"Bigger targets, but we could have lookouts."
"Okay, that's its own kind of horrifying, but I was more reacting to the cannibalism?"
"Changelings don't count as real trolls," Enrique said sarcastically. "We're Impure."
He left out the part where they'd eaten their own dead. Jim didn't add it.
(It wasn't like they'd hunted each other for food. Sometimes a Changeling just died, somehow, in a way that didn't get them eaten by something else, and … well, food was scarce in the Darklands. They couldn't afford to be picky.
It also paid to keep watch over the sentry posts. Gunmar occasionally used the Decimaar Blade to post a sentry and then forgot to order them to rest and eat. Once they died, the average adult Gumm-Gumm was a meal for twenty Changelings, easily, if they could get to the body before the Gruesomes did.)
"Okay, we're switching to Frozen." Mary made the executive decision. "Wait," she said, while exchanging the disks. "If Changelings aren't trolls, how does Jim's adoption work?"
Because of course this was the perfect moment to tell Enrique about that, right in the middle of a squabble with his adopted sister.
"For one thing, most of Trollmarket still thinks I'm human." Jim switched back to human shape to illustrate the point.
"You got adopted?"
"AAARRRGGHH and Blinky thought I should have legal standing in Trollmarket outside of my job."
Enrique stared at him. Green diamond-shaped ears were pinned back. Buggy, slit-pupil eyes were wide and hurt.
"You get everything," he grumbled. "Two nicknames, and the goblins liked you, and you could always find food, and here you're the boss's favourite even when you're a traitor, and your human family still likes you, and now you get a troll family too? S'not fair."
"Hey, the goblins liked you, too." Jim was fully aware that wasn't much comfort compared to all the rest of it. "They gave you your nickname, remember?"
"They gave you one, too."
"Yeah, but you got yours first."
They probably weren't supposed to hear Darci when she muttered, "I feel like we're missing a lot of context."
"Shit," Claire muttered back. "Not Enrique told me a bit of the name part. They don't remember their names from before they were Changelings, and they don't get real names until they have Familiars, so they use nicknames instead. From each other or from goblins, he said."
"They don't get names?" Darci's voice went squeaky at the end of that.
"We're trying to come up with something other than 'Enrique' for him."
"You're trying," Enrique corrected. Darci squeaked again.
"Can we maybe circle back to the cannibalism thing?" said Toby. "That feels like the kind of trauma that should get unpacked at some point."
"I would rather leave it packed," said Jim.
"The way you blurted it out like that feels like you need to talk about it."
"Not all psychology is Freudian, Tobes."
"Do your parents still have baby name books from when they were picking Enrique's name?" Mary asked Claire. "Real Enrique, I mean."
"They didn't use one. He was named after our abuelo."
"Okay, so what about your other grandfather? What was his name?"
"Jose María." Defensively, "It's gender neutral in Spanish."
On the television screen, the movie menu finished another loop and started again.
"I tried spelling my name like it sounds, en are ee kay, but Claire said it spelled 'Nrek'. You get why I couldn't use that."
Jim laughed.
"What's funny?" asked Toby. "Is that an insult or something?"
"No, it's goblin, in English it means 'bottle'," Jim translated. "Or possibly 'container of food'." The only bottles he's seen them use held formula for the Familiars, and the word hadn't come up on the surface, so the distinction was unclear. "It's either a silly name or a really morbid one."
"Aaand we're back to the cannibalism."
"No we are not!"
"Na na na heyana, Hahiyaha naha …"
Either somebody had decided to start the movie, or the DVD had that feature where it automatically began playing if nothing was selected after a few loops of the menu.
The conversation went in circles a couple more times, then faded out.
+=+
"And who's the funky-looking donkey over there?"
"That's Sven."
"Uh-huh; and who's the reindeer?"
"… Sven."
"Oh, they're – ? Oh! Okay! Makes things easier for me."
"~Riot~," said Enrique.
"Huh?"
"My nickname. Before. It meant 'riot'."
What are you doing? Jim wanted to demand. Was Enrique just – just giving up on a real name?
"You can call me that for now. Till we work out a for-real one. Better than 'Not Enrique'."
Jim stuffed some burnt popcorn kernels into his mouth to keep from protesting. He couldn't undermine Enrique's – Riot's – chosen name, right in front of a bunch of humans, when he'd been arguing with them about how rude that was for weeks now.
"Oh. Okay." Claire half-smiled. "Riot."
Jim shut his eyes to hide the flaring glow.
+=+
Previous Chapter (Angor Rot gets treated much better, and more sensibly, than in canon, and is correspondingly less vengeful)
Table of Contents
Next Chapter (Featuring either Otto or Gatto)
A quick thank you to Taycin on AO3 for providing some name-gender context when this chapter first went up.
#Becoming The Mask chapters#Trollhunters#Tales of Arcadia#Changeling Jim#My Fanfiction#Not Enrique#Claire Nuñez#Tobias Domzalski#Mary Wang#Darci Scott#hug#Monday is fanfic day!#caution: contains swearing#tw: cannibalism#Changelings#backstory#names#movies#Lilo and Stitch#Trolls (movie)#frozen
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In Sickness, In Health Chapter 5 - Broken Arm
Fandom: DuckTales 2017 / The Three Caballeros Rating: General Audience Relationships/Pairings: José Carioca/Donald Duck/Panchito Pistoles Additional Tags: getting sick, being cared for, mental health, injury, sore throat, common cold, chicken pox, broken bones, whooping cough, taking care of others.
Part of a Series Called: We’re the Three- Sorry, Six Caballeros!
Author’s Note: This chapter is self titled with what's about to happen. But please keep in mind this contains talk of broken bones. If I need to put further tags/warnings on this story, please let me know!
“Dewey, I’m serious, get down!” Huey frantically called.
“Sorry, can’t hear you. Too high up and doing amazing!” Dewey called back as he reached for the next level of branches.
“Dewey!”
“Let it go dude,” Louie commented as he scrolled through his phone. Leaning up against the same tree that Dewey was currently climbing. “You’re not getting him down from there. Just let nature take its course.”
While Huey glared at Louie, Dewey was continuing his trek up the tall tree. Humming his theme song (version 236) while he reached for another branch. His plan for the day was to reach the top of the tallest tree in the backyard so he could see across the bay. To hopefully see across it, maybe even see the entire world and what it had to offer. Maybe he could even find some place interesting enough to visit! Some place close!
Ah, he was so eager! He couldn’t wait to find out what the rest of the world looked like. Entire body shaking with eagerness, Dewey moved a bit too quickly...
He lost his footing first. Webbed foot slipped and Dewey quickly reached out to try and grab something for support. Only for his hand to grab at air. The branch just a bit too far out of reach.
It was as if time stood still for a moment. Dewey got a brief thought of ‘Huh...maybe this wasn’t the best idea.’ before he began to properly fall. It was strangely exhilarating to hear the wind rushing around him. Sort of like flying. Except the opposite. Because he was, in fact, falling. So this was worse.
Dewey hit the ground hard, Huey shrieking while Louie let out a cry of ‘Holy Cow!’ as they rushed over. The triplet dressed in blue sat up slowly. Looking around, dazed, but otherwise felt fine.
“What were you thinking! You could have been killed!” Huey huffed. Fear being replaced by anger as he glared down at his brother.
“I was thinking how cool it would be to see the view from the top of that tree. But I guess it wasn’t meant to be for the moment. Oh well, I’ll try again tomorrow-”
Dewey let out a yelp of pain when he tried to put weight on his arm. Pain shooting through it, the duckling swearing he was about to pass out from it. Taking a deep breath to keep himself awake, Dewey looked down at said arm. Which was clearly broken. Sticking out at a weird angle, but nothing else seemed ‘wrong’.
“I broke my arm.”
“WHAT?”
“Yeah, I’m pretty sure it’s broken. Check it.” Dewey casually commented holding up the mentioned limb. Louie looked close to vomiting while Huey turned very pale.
“Oh… Okay. Um, Louie, can you get Uncle Donald?” The youngest triplet nodded and dashed back towards the house, happy to not see the arm. Huey, on his part, bent down to examine the damage as best he could. “Ah...so… I don’t think I’m supposed to touch it. But it looks so bad!”
“Dude, it doesn’t hurt. Just breathe and leave it alone.” Truth be told, Dewey wasn’t really sure why he wasn’t panicking. Maybe it was because everyone else was already freaking out. But, it was probably the fact that, since it didn’t hurt, Dewey wasn’t too worried.
“Dewey!”
Ah, someone else to worry about him.
“Hi Uncle Donald!” Dewey beamed while being faced with a panicked duck.
Donald looked prepared to start pulling out his feathers in panic. “Okay, okay, Dewey, how are you feeling?”
“Pretty good, all things considered.”
“Okay, can you walk? We need to get you to the car.”
“Sure...I’ll just need help getting up.”
Dewey was more than patient as the rest of the family rushed around him. Helping him into the car, getting the seatbelt on, making sure he was okay before they set off. A quick trip to the emergency room later and Dewey now had a sweet cast and a story to share with his other two uncles.
“This is so cool! Benny had one of his arms in a cast too and he got people to sign it. Do you think I could do that too?” Dewey looked up at Donald, freehand knocking on the hardened plaster.
“Of course. You can start carrying some sharpies when you’re at school. Just as long as you don't make everything messy and you don’t distract the class.” Donald commented, finally relaxed now that everything was taken care of.
At first, Dewey was honestly thrilled to have his cast. It was like getting a fancy new piece of armor in a video game. Wanting to constantly show it off. Happily retelling his adventure with so much gusto to whomever would hear him. It was great.
Until it wasn’t.
The first issue was how uncomfortable the cast was becoming. It was heavy and clunky. He couldn’t sleep because the cast was just dead weight. His arm started becoming both itchy and sweaty. Hot and bothersome with no solution as to how it was supposed to be fixed.
The second issue was that there was no one else to tell the story to. All his classmates knew. All his neighbors knew. And, even if his uncles would listen to him, Dewey knew they were becoming bored by the story. The once great armor was now dragging him down.
The last issue was that he couldn’t do anything. Uncle Donald made it clear that Dewey wasn’t going to do anything with the cast on. Not that the duckling paid that warning too much attention. Until he realized that the cast was preventing Dewey from, quite literally, doing anything. He couldn’t grab anything. Couldn’t put pressure on it in any way. Hold anything. It was basically a useless arm.
“At least you have some time to work on your homework.” Huey offered weakly. Which was only met with an unamused glare.
Dewey was becoming so bored.
He was currently situated on the sofa during one afternoon. Eyes barely open, barely focused, as he ‘watched’ the television. Dewey wasn’t fully taken in what he was looking at. He was also pretty sure there was a string of drool sliding out from the side of his mouth.
“Well, don’t you look charming.”
Dewey merely rolled his head to the side to look over towards Donald. “Hello…”
“Hello to you too.” The older duck walked over, claiming an empty seat next to the blue dressed triplet. “I see you’ve moved your pity party from the bedroom to the living room.”
“Not pity.” Dewey weakly argued back.
“No? Then what are you doing?”
“Bored?”
“Ah, I see. Nothing like being sad for yourself.”
“There’s nothing I can to with my stupid arm is it’s stupid cast.” Dewey huffed weakly.
“You’ve done nothing but watch t.v. since you’ve gotten that cast. Why don’t you try doing something new?”
“Broken arm, can’t do anything.”
Donald rolled his eyes. “You’re not in a full body cast, you can still move. And your dominant hand is still ‘free’. I don’t mean trying to climb something new. Why not find a new hobby? Read a book, go take a walk, something.”
“All sounds boring.”
Letting out a slow breath, Donald took a new approach. “Well, I have something you might be interested in.”
“Doubt it.” Even with a heavy sigh of boredom, Dewey still followed his uncle.
They entered a small side room at the back of the house. One filled with mainly boxes and other unneeded odds and ends. They passed the stacked boxes, going towards the sole window. Where an artist easel had been set up. Paints and other tools cluttering a small rolling cart that had been pushed against the wall.
“What is this?” Dewey asked as he looked over the pile of paint tubes.
“My get away, if you will. When I want a break from everything, I come here and just paint. Just...put on some music and paint.”
“I’ve never seen you paint before…”
“Well, I did just start,” Donald commented, taking a seat in front of the easel. “I was told it would help me relax.”
“So, are you telling me to start painting?” Dewey asked.
“Sort of.” Reaching into a large bag that was propped up against the wall as well, Donald pulled out two items. A small sketchbook and a mechanical pencil. “You have an active imagination. Why don’t you try giving your words some pictures?”
Dewey was skeptical at first. When starting, it was frustrating. Nothing was looking right and it was maddening to try and figure out what something was supposed to look like. Seeing it in his head to transfer it onto paper was difficult.
Tio José swooped in to save the day. When Dewey crumpled up another failure. The parrot was more than happy to give his expertise on how to start off a drawing. Getting the basic shapes, proportions, how to look at the whole and the parts of an object, how drawing from real life can help draw from the imagination. After that, there was no stopping him.
Even with the cast on, it didn’t stop him. If anything Dewey started using it as a weight to keep the loose paper still. The rest of the recovery melted away. The blue cladded duckling happily returned to school with a fully healed arm and a number of handcrafted books to share.
#donald duck#josé carioca#panchito pistoles#jose carioca/donald duck/panchito pistoles#The Three Caballeros#the three gay caballeros#s-creations#fanfiction
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All These Things and More
Festive nature is not something Emma Swan is particularly familiar with. Even less so after nearly breaking her ankle in the middle of Central Park, and she can’t believe it isn’t someone’s job to de-ice those stairs.
As it is, her ankle appears to be swelling with every passing moment, and she can’t get her keys off the floor, and she’s pleasantly surprised she doesn’t flinch when the door across the hall from her apartment opens. Or when the guy who presumably lives behind that door offers his help. With her dropped keys, and, it turns out, just about everything else in Emma’s life.
‘Tis the season, or whatever.
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Rating: Teen Word Count: 8.8K, let’s all act surprised that these keep getting longer AN: Today’s prompt(s) come from @illicitaffairslongingstares and while she did say “or,” my mind was like LET’S USE ALL OF THEM, so here we have: "people are jerks, but not you.""a thunderstorm is rolling through town and you’re scared of lightening/thunder so i’ll protect you.""this is probably a bad time, but marry me?" Thank you for the prompts, babe. I hope you enjoy this massive pile of fluff.
|| Also on Ao3 if that’s your jam ||
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“Are you alright?” Emma bites her tongue. So as to also bite back the rather immediate and far too snarky response sitting there. Of course she’s not alright. She doesn’t normally walk like this — trying very hard not to bend her knee because somehow that makes everything hurt more, and she can’t quite believe that anything could hurt more than the twelve blocks she essentially dragged herself down, but there are also scrapes on either one of her palms and the lack of any creaking floor behind her means the voice has not left yet.
That only kind of frustrates her.
Hopping on the one good foot she has left, Emma nearly falls over more than once. Which is very impressive, actually. Both because she hasn’t moved very much and because the lack of stability in either one of her knees isn’t entirely biological.
He’s stupid good looking.
The voice, who she suddenly realizes belongs to that guy across the hall and she knew that guy across the hall had very nice eyes, from the few times she’d allowed herself to acknowledge such a ridiculous thing, but now she’s also got to deal with the knowledge that his hair kind of artfully falls across his forehead when he bends his neck at that very precise angle and—
“How did you manage to get up the stairs?”
Shoulders slumping, Emma lets out a breath she wishes she hadn’t been holding. She’s already running low on functioning body parts, doing any extra damage to her lungs just seems like a bad choice. Although that could be the sub-headline of her night at this point.
“Sheer force of will,” she replies, not quite able to keep the sarcasm out of the words and that almost feels like a vaguely twisted victory when one side of the guy’s mouth tugs up. The one she’s inexcusably staring at.
So as to distract herself from the overall color of his eyes.
Maybe she’s concussed.
That’d make her feel better, honestly.
“Still not really an answer, though.” “I’ve almost forgotten the question,” Emma mutters, and she’ll use her injury as an excuse. For the continued sarcasm, and what feels suspiciously like a fluttering heart because the guy’s mouth is starting to twist into something that looks suspiciously like a smirk.
Directed at her. He’s wearing gym shorts, it’s absurd. And no socks.
“Aren’t your feet cold?” Absolutely smirking. Still at her. There’s no one else in the hallway, it’s two in the goddamn morning. “They are, in fact,” he nods. His hair moves. It looks very soft. So she’s probably insane now. “But you’re very loud, so—” “—Shit, did I wake you up?” “Not really. I was admittedly a little concerned you were being attacked over there, though.” “Were you going to defend my honor from unknown enemies without any socks on?” “I was seriously considering it.” Laughing somehow makes several different muscles and at least half a dozen joints ache, but Emma can’t seem to help it and the overall tightness between her shoulder blades lessens ever so slightly. “Very gallant of you.” “That’s my schtick, for sure,” he agrees, far too charming and far too easy and Emma’s keys are still on the floor. That was her problem, really.
Getting her keys out of her back pocket was something of a challenge when she was trying to balance all her weight on her right foot, and the lack of feeling in her fingers after spending the last four hours chasing a skip through Central Park made it all but impossible to get the kind of grip she needed and, well—
Cursing every single God she could think of when she dropped those keys and then was apparently unable to bend the right way to pick them back up seemed entirely reasonable.
She hopes her ankle didn’t swell too much.
She hopes that skip also trips down some ice-covered stairs in Central Park and twists one of his ankles. Either one, Emma’s not going to be specific. And she hopes every single member of the New York City Department of Public Works gets coal in their stocking. Or whoever is in charge of de-icing Central Park stairs.
God, she hates Central Park.
Navigating that place continues to be an insurmountable challenge, no matter how long she lives in this city.
“So, uh,” sockless, very good looking neighbor guy continues, leaning across his doorway and Emma can’t believe she doesn’t know his name. She can’t ask him his name now. Then he’ll know she’s as insane as she absolutely is. “Should we rehash, then?” “About your question?” “And if you’re ok.” “Oh, right, right, right, I’m uh—”
Lying should be easier. Should be second nature, honestly. Lying’s part of the gig, lulling skips into a false sense of security that makes catching them easier and getting paid inevitable, and Emma would very much like to lie. If only to try and convince herself.
She shakes her head.
So, that’s a weird chance of pace.
Sockless, very good looking neighbor guy whose shirt is actually far tighter than Emma realized, gives her a tight-lipped smile, nods his head once, like that’s that and crosses the space between them. Which also feels much smaller, all of the sudden.
He picks her keys up on the first try.
Figures, he’s still in possession of two functioning ankles.
“Which one is it?” “Hmmm?” “Your keys, love,” he says, as if that’s something he can say and it’s entirely possible Emma simply imagined that. Delirium is admittedly starting to sink in just a bit. Everything hurts.
“Oh, uh—the uh...the one with the dot. The—the green dot on it.” Humming, he somehow makes sense of her garbled instruction and neither of them try to move closer to each other, but it happens all the same and he’s undeniably solid when Emma slumps against his side.
She still doesn’t know his name, it’s ridiculous.
She swats her hand against the wall as soon as her door swings open, finally finding the light and illuminating her apartment. Which is not very welcoming. Now or ever, really — but the inherent loneliness of the place feels as if it reaches out and slaps Emma in the face, while the very good looking sockless guy with questionably jacked arms is standing next to her.
Her cheeks ache. When she forces herself to smile.
“Thanks,” Emma says, “for the willingness to defend while not properly clothed and—”
One of his eyebrows lifts. “Do you not think I’m properly clothed?” “You’re not wearing any socks.” “You know more curse words than any sailor I have ever met.” “Have you met a lot?” Lifting a shoulder in what Emma can only assume is a shrug and a wordless brush-off, the glint in his eyes dims ever so slightly, but she also should not be noticing any sort of glint and she’s got to sit down. She’ll fall over otherwise.
“You should go to the doctor,” he says instead, nodding towards an ankle Emma can’t bring herself to look at. Feels like it’s swelling. To grapefruit-level proportions. “Urgent care, or something. Like—as soon as possible.” “Are you a doctor and a knight in sockless armor?” “You might be obsessed with my feet.” “Nah, there’s a name for those kinds of people and that’s not—” Heat rises in Emma’s cheeks when she notices him smirking again, and it’s disappointing to realize this is the first time a guy has been in her apartment in months. She’s so lame, it’s ridiculous. “If I tell you something will you promise not to laugh?” “Scouts honor.” “You were not a boy scout,” Emma challenges, which is patently unfair when she also doesn’t know his name, so—“Can I insult you if I keep referring to you as sockless guy in my head?” Leaving out very good looking is a victory she will cling to for the foreseeable future.
As is his answering laugh.
Not quite boisterous, but loud enough that his shoulders shake and his hair moves and she deserves at least two medals and possibly a plaque for not pushing her fingers into the strands.
“I’d rather you didn’t insult me at all,” he says, “but it does seem rude not to introduce myself when I know your name.” “Less knight-like, honestly.” “One of your friends has a habit of kicking on your door and shouting your full name. It’s exceedingly loud and absolutely impossible to ignore.” “You’re an eavesdrop.” “That’s not the right way to use that as an adjective, but your ankle is closing on pumpkin-type dimensions and—” An arm slips around her waist, directing Emma back towards her couch before she can even begin to object and she doesn’t want to object and he smells like soap. Nice soap. The kind of soap that could help lull her to sleep. As if that’s something a cleaning product is capable of. “Anyway,” he adds, “my name is Killian Jones, we should stop discussing my sock situation and I promise not to make fun of whatever you’ve already forgotten you were going to tell me.” “Rude.” “Your friend is ridiculously loud, do you know that?”
Emma nods. “That’s part of Ruby’s charm. And, uh—I don’t know that I can get back down the stairs. Plus, this isn’t really that bad.”
Liar.
Lying liar who lies. And Killian’s other eyebrow moved that time.
“I’d hate to see what could have possibly been worse. So, fine—don’t go down the stairs by yourself, then.” “Do you see a lot of other people in this apartment?” Bitterness replaces the sarcasm, which is far too telling an emotion and quite possibly Emma’s base emotion, but Killian doesn’t blink. He smiles, waving a hand through the air and it’s only then that she notices there’s only one hand and she’s got more questions and vaguely distracting thoughts about his eyes and his face and her lungs are doing that thing again. Not functioning properly.
“And here I thought we’d gotten past the insults.” Emma’s jaw drops. And pops slightly in the process, which is one of the more embarrassing things that’s happened to her that night. “You don't know me,” she argues, louder than she’d like, but she’s so ridiculously tired and that’s a much more sweeping commentary about her life than she’s willing to admit. “I could—I could be a murderer!” “Can’t be all that good at it if your murders end with broken ankles.” “Ah, shit you think it’s broken?” Killian shrugs. “I’m not a doctor, or a murderer. For the record as it were.” “Saying it makes me more suspicious, quite frankly.” “That is frank,” he chuckles, “and it’s not a trick, or anything except the kindness of relative strangers. Which, as everyone knows, gets accentuated at Christmas.” “Not for another two weeks.”
“Christmas lasts for all of December, don’t you know that, Swan?” Last names probably don’t count as endearments. This one sounds that way, though. As if it’s easy for him to say, and that probably has something to do with the return of the glint and her growing obsession with the various shades of blue in his eyes and Emma’s nodding before she’s totally come to grips with what she’s agreeing to. He gets her Tylenol before he leaves.
It’s not broken.
So, that’s something. And about nothing else. Negative else.
Purple bruises and some other color that almost resembles black swirl across the skin covering Emma’s absolutely worthless ankle, a pair of crutches under either one of her arms that are already starting to chafe her sides, and she took a perverse pleasure in the overall circumference of Killian’s eyes when let out a deluge of curse words in the Urgent Care office.
Part of him almost looked proud, though.
Which is just—it’s ridiculous.
Emma blames his ability to smirk as potently as it does. It’s throwing her off entirely. Although that might have something to do with her inherent lack of balance as well, and this might be Bill de Blasio’s fault. None of the sidewalks in this stupid city are clear.
And that is why, Emma will eventually argue, it makes entirely perfect sense to hobble up the stairs back towards her locked apartment door, drop her keys in Killian’s upturned palm and say—“Do you want to come in? I have tequila.” “It’s eleven in the morning.” “Ok.” The smirk gains power. Festive-based power, because they walked by at least four stores with garland in their windows and Emma’s always prided herself on her ability to ignore such emotional nonsense, but now this guy who is presumably wearing socks since he’s also wearing boots, keeps looking at her like she’s fascinating and not entirely depressing and there’s this little inkling of hope in the pit of her stomach.
‘Tis the season, or whatever.
It just kind of happens, really.
Over the next five days, Killian Jones doesn’t quite move into Emma’s apartment, but he becomes something of a presence at the end of her couch and he’s very good at dialing for delivery, and reminding her to take the medication the doctor at Urgent Care prescribed, and it’s so goddamn nice she cannot begin to cope with it.
He makes her laugh with startling regularity — helpful since August had adamantly told her she couldn’t come back to work without another doctor’s note because, as he put it, he wasn’t getting sued, Emma, but that also meant it was very difficult to get a paycheck, and it’s far too easy to fall into this routine.
Even when she starts to wonder—
“Don’t you have a job?” Emma asks on day six, which also happens to be a Friday and it’s kind of insane he doesn’t have something better to do on his Friday night. Than sit in the corner of her couch and scroll through GrubHub listings.
She’d do something drastic for some Indian food.
“Of course.” Widening her eyes, Emma waits for the rest of the explanation. It doesn’t come. Patience has never been one of the virtues she possesses, though. So. “And that job is...”
“Are you worried about my ability to pay rent, Swan?” “In theory. And curious, I guess. About—” “—Me?” Killian quips, but he’s far more accurate than Emma wants him to be and the overall force of his ensuing smirk sends her flying into the metaphorical stratosphere. Of friendship, or whatever. She figures they’re friends now.
If he orders her extra garlic naan.
“I teach,” he continues, “some gen-history classes at CUNY. Finished the semester about a week and a half ago, which is why you only sort of woke me up before. Grading is exhausting, and occasionally depressing and I was trying very hard not to fall asleep on top of all the essays like a giant cliche, when you announced your presence to the hallway.” Gritting her teeth, Emma fights off the wholly unacceptable wave of disappointment cresting her consciousness. She’d sort of—well, she’s not really sure what she hoped for, honestly. Maybe something sort of sweeping.
As if he simply had a sixth sense that she was in need of a quasi-rescue, and woke up to do that. Finding out she’d just interrupted his job is almost a little crushing.
In a friendship type of way, obviously.
“How does one become a teacher of gen-history at CUNY, then?” “I’m a professor, technically.” “Shit, that sounds very fancy.” He grins. Wide and honest, and almost like he’s preening a bit under Emma’s less-than-genteel praise. She’s going to eat at least three samosas too. “It’s exceedingly fancy,” Killian agrees, “and care of the United States GI Bill, which—” “—Didn’t stop after World War II?” “You learn something new every day, love.”
Flicking her finger against his arm happens far too easily. As if this has been going on for months, or years and that’s probably not a sign. Emma’s still firmly entrenched in Ebenezer Scrooge territory.
Although, some soft and distinctly traitorous part of her mind is quick to point out, even Ebenezer Scrooge had a girlfriend.
God, if she gets visits from obnoxious ghosts any time soon, she’s going to be really annoyed.
“Is that why you knew sailors?” “Past and present tense,” Killian amends, and the grin is still there but it also looks a little forced and Emma’s leaning forward. When exactly she decided to do that, she’s not entirely sure, and it obviously doesn’t matter when Killian’s hand flips.
Against hers.
He’s very warm.
Not a sign either, she’s positive.
A million more questions jump to the tip of her tongue, and Emma’s spent way too much time thinking about her tongue in these last six days. She doesn’t voice them. The questions, or the thoughts. Not when she can see the muscle in his clearly clenched jaw jumping with an almost alarming rhythm, and she’s always been very good at reading people.
It’s what’s made her such a good bail bonds...person. At least when she’s not nursing a high ankle sprain, and she hardly notices Killian’s hand shifting against her calf. To move that same ankle back up onto the pillows piled on top of her exceedingly wobbly coffee table.
Goosebumps explode everywhere. Possibly in her heart too, just for maximum absurdity.
“What’s the most random and historic Christmas fact you know?”
Narrowing his eyes makes it difficult to see whatever shade of blue they’ve evolved into, but Emma’s a bit more concerned with the inevitable pink on her cheeks and she desperately needs Killian to move his goddamn hand. To several other places. Across her body. Ebenezer Scrooge probably didn’t want to make out with his girlfriend this much.
Would have scandalized Bob Cratchit.
That wasn’t the right timeline for the story at all.
“Jingle Bells was written as a Thanksgiving song initially,” Killian says, “and was also the first song to be broadcast from space.” “Very different aspects of this fact.” “I like to bring a lot to the table.” “The Thanksgiving one?” “Any holiday,” he shrugs, expression not quite as lined and just a hint easier and Emma’s heart sputters. Like it’s flipping and flopping and possibly expanding, which is a totally different pop culture reference and she’s starting to lose track. “I think Trans Siberian Orchestra is overrated.” “Sounds suspiciously like an opinion.” “That’s also absolutely right,” Emma promises, and she doesn’t get into specifics. For what is very obviously an opinion of the emotion-based variety, and Killian doesn’t press and they order enough Indian food for the entire apartment building.
She doesn’t know anyone else in the building.
That’s not as depressing as it once was.
“Screw Steve Jobs.” “That’s the spirit, for sure.” “What about the other one?” “What other one?” Killian asks, not glancing away from the TV screen or the streaming options that limit their Christmas movie-viewing choices. “Are you just shouting names at me?” Emma tuts, wrestling the remote from his hand. “There’s no shouting involved, I’m just expressing my frustration at whoever is in charge of Apple now, and Steve Jobs and his legacy and how it’s preventing me from watching A Charlie Brown Christmas.” “I’m not sure how those things go together, but I can get behind hating on Apple if that’s actually what we’re doing.” “It is. Do people actually pay for Apple Plus, or whatever it’s called?” “If the overall popularity of that soccer show is any indication. And that one with Reese Witherspoon got a bunch of Emmy nominations, I think.” “Why do you know that?” His shoulder bumps hers when he shrugs. They’re sitting very close. “I know everything, I thought that was obvious.” “Can you get A Charlie Brown Christmas to play on my TV without giving any money to Steve Jobs?” “Technically, I think it’d just be his estate getting the money.” “Don’t get technical.”
He nods once, all confidence and charm and there’s got to be something else he could be doing with his time, but Emma doesn’t want him to be doing anything else and he pulls her laptop across the coffee table. She will never admit to counting the minutes it takes, or the exact way his eyes flit her direction more than once during those minutes, but then the laptop dings and Killian announces “done,” and asks if she “has an HDMI cable?” She doesn’t.
It takes three minutes for him to jog back to his apartment. And back, hooking up several things that genuinely impress Emma, and the first few notes of the Vince Guaraldi Trio tug on whatever heartstrings she’s still in possession of.
He calls her out for mouthing along with the lines, laughter clinging to his voice and the crinkles she’s only just realized exist around his eyes and Emma shifts out of habit. When the Peanuts start dancing on stage, all too aware of Killian’s eyes.
And how they linger. On her, specifically.
She’s less prepared for his wrist to flip the way it does. “May I?”
Thinking seems stupid in a situation like this, so Emma doesn’t think and the calluses on his fingers are enough to inspire a whole slew of other ideas, and they don’t really dance. Neither do the Peanuts, though — so, there’s something to be said for consistency and lower-body strength and they just kind of bob in time together, content to exist in each other’s space and there’s not that much space and that’s not necessarily a bad thing.
Neither are the tears that sting Emma’s eyes nearly twenty minutes later. She always cries during Linus’ speech.
Going stir crazy is inevitable and happens at precisely two forty-seven on the Tuesday before Christmas. The walls of Emma’s apartment suddenly feel much closer than they were at two forty-six, and she doesn’t bother grabbing her crutches. Before huffing out a frustrated breath, hopping across the hall and effectively falling against Killian’s front door. She resists the very legitimate urge to knock with her head.
And it doesn’t matter anyway.
The door swings open, another pair of gym shorts that make Emma’s brain short-circuit just a bit and Killian’s hair is damp. “Were you in the shower?” “No,” he shakes his head.
Oh. Oh. So, she’ll probably just die in this hallway then. That will inevitably be preferable to the realization that he works out, and she kind of knew that already because there’s absolutely no way people just have biceps like that, but she also cannot deal with even the idea of him doing something as absurd as burpees in his apartment. Not when the walls were already doing that thing before. “Should you be in the shower?”
Leaning against the door frame feels like cheating. On his part. Crossing his feet at the ankles is even worse. “Are you suggesting I should?” Killian drawls, and Emma’s come to realize he’s got this habit of only lifting the left side of his mouth when he’s trying to tease her. It’s very effective.
“Maybe before we go out.” “You want to go out? Where, exactly?” “I don’t know,” Emma admits, “anywhere. Somewhere. That is not my kitchen, or like—the mailboxes downstairs.” “I’ve gotten your mail.”
That’s true. He figured out which key it was on his own too, which shouldn’t have any lasting effect on Emma’s pulse at all. “Whatever,” she grumbles, “that’s not the point.” “What is, then?” “I want fresh air and—” “—Where are your crutches?” “In my apartment.” “Did you hop over here?”
Nodding, she’s not entirely prepared for the force of his laugh or the hand that lands on her hip as easily as if there are magnets there. “You’re going to have the most impressive calf muscles of any bail bonds person in the greater Tri-State area.” “Flatter me some more when we’re outside, please.” “I should probably shower first.” Emma hums, biting her tongue until she can taste blood because suggesting anything involving Killian and water and a distinct lack of clothing is only going to get her another smirk she cannot possibly be expected to deal with. He smirks all the same. So, the world hates her apparently. Waving an arm behind him, Killian ushers Emma into the apartment like it’s not the first time she’s hopping inside. “Make yourself at home,” he says, already halfway down a hallway that must lead to the bathroom because that’s what her hallway does and the layout is almost identical. “There’s coffee too.” “Do you drink coffee while you work out?” His eyes goddamn sparkle. “Sit down, Swan. Then we’ll figure out where else you can hop.”
He’s gone before she can even consider an appropriately sarcastic response, leaving her balanced between his living room and kitchen and there are very soft-looking blankets draped over the back of his couch. Music plays softly from a nearby speaker, not quite festive, because it’s 90s rap and Emma can’t decide which part of this is the most endearing.
Probably the frames.
Lining nearly every flat surface of the multiple bookcases he has, smiling faces gaze back at Emma from what looks like a dozen different places, and several faces repeat themselves. A woman with soft brown hair and a smile that makes it clear how nice she inevitably is, her shoulders are often covered by another man’s arm and occasionally that man’s in uniform.
She has to hop to the next frame, another uniform, although it has more medals, and this man’s eyes are familiar. Not blue, but the glint in them is unmistakable. Especially when he’s standing next to Killian.
Their smiles make something ache in the very center of Emma, the kind of deja vu she doesn’t want to understand. The man’s only in a few of the pictures. He looks happy in all of them.
Overjoyed, occasionally.
The water in the bathroom turns off.
And Emma only just manages to throw herself into the corner of the couch before Killian’s back in the living room, a towel pressed to even more damp hair. “You ok?” he asks, a very symmetrical question she can’t answer.
With the wad of emotion currently taking root in the middle of her throat.
Piecing things together is one of her better skills, after all.
“Fine, fine,” she stammers, “can we go?” “Have you decided where you’re going to hobble?” “Ah, that’s mean.” “Am I going to have to carry you down the stairs?” “Don’t be a dick.” He smirks. The bastard. And doesn’t really carry her down the stairs, per se — even if there’s more leaning involved than Emma would like, but that also means she gets to take full advantage of just how warm he is, and she’s starting to wonder if Killian retains heat solely for her benefit. It’s a very dangerous thought.
This can’t last forever. Not with modern medicine the way it is, and she’s been taking the medicine and the swelling has gone way down and—
Emma gasps when she puts more weight on her ankle than she’s entirely prepared for. Spinning on the spot, Killian’s center of gravity must be better than hers and that probably has something to do with sea legs, and waves, and his hands are back on her hips.
She’d very much like them to stay there.
First kisses aren’t supposed to happen in the middle of the sidewalk.
Outside a Duane Reade.
If she doesn’t kiss him soon, she might scream.
“C’mon,” Killian says, tilting his head towards the automatic doors and this wasn’t quite what Emma had planned. She had no plan, but it did not involve Duane Reade carpet or the holiday aisle, and Killian’s hands don’t move. They direct her. Towards that aisle, and the gingerbread houses on its shelves and he grabs one that has deluxe in the name.
“Makes it fancier,” he explains, presumably when he notices the overall height of Emma’s eyebrows. She doesn’t argue. Inflating his ego anymore isn’t part of her unplanned plan, either.
And there’s not really much of a discussion, but they somehow end up back at his apartment, pieces of gingerbread strewn across his kitchen counter while he changes the music, and—
Emma tosses a sugar plum in the air. So she can catch it with her mouth. “Color me impressed,” Killian says, and it’s her imagination. There’s no allusion. Nothing passably secret or unspoken in those words, and Emma refuses to let herself consider the possibility. Not with Bing Crosby in the background.
He was kind of a jerk in real life.
“Although,” he adds, “you’re using up all our decoration.” “They give you so many sugar plums! Who would need this many?”
“Mr. and Mrs. Gingerbread.” “I’m sorry, what?”
“Mr. and Mrs. Gingerbread,” Killian repeats, “who live in this deluxe, undeniably fancy gingerbread house.”
“Why would their last name be Gingerbread when that’s what their house is called? It’s like someone being named—” “—Wood?”
Emma sneers. “I’ll throw sugar plums at your face.” “Then we’ll really run out, and the peppermint swirls aren’t as decorative.” “Because peppermint is the inferior Christmas flavor,” Emma announces. “Tastes like you’re eating toothpaste, also they don’t make houses out of wood anymore. Learn about the industrial revolution, please.” He’s already started positioning gingerbread walls. “Mr. and Mrs. Gingerbread met by happenstance. Had passed each other in the Sugar Forest before, but—” “—These are absolutely horrendous names.” “You’re ruining the flow of the story, love.” Emma mimes zipping her mouth shut. “Anyway, they’d noticed each other before, but hadn’t ever spoken, until fate and festivity intervened, and they realized they had more in common than they expected and got along very well, and eventually they got married and lived happily ever after.” “Just like that?”
Her voice likely does not crack the way she imagines it does. That would be impossible. It’s because of the sugar plum, and all that extra sugar. Caking the inside of Emma’s throat, or something and that’s a kind of disgusting idea, but Killian’s staring at her with enough intensity that her cheeks are starting to heat on their own and it’s a crime she hasn’t gotten her fingers in his hair yet.
“Just like that,” Killian echoes.
He’s moving. Emma’s positive he’s moving. Maybe that’s her. Or the entire goddamn Universe. Flying off kilter and possibly right into the sun and it’s so stupid when she opens her mouth.
“How’d they get engaged?” The left side of his mouth tugs up. “They went ice skating.” “Did that not dissolve their legs?” “It was magic ice.” “Oh, right, right, yeah of course.” Definitely getting closer. “And the future Mrs. Gingerbread had fallen over. Wasn’t used to the skates, which Mr. Gingerbread found oddly enchanting, and while she was sitting there on the ice, cursing every one of Santa’s elves, he bent down and said, ‘This is probably a bad time, but marry me?’”
“What’d she say?” “She swatted at the sugar plums on his chest, but she was also swooning a bit and—” “—Losing frosting from sitting on the ice?” “That’s not how frosting works at all.” “They don’t give you much here,” Emma says, not a perfect change of course, but she wasn’t the sailor in this relationship and she's so stupid it's painful. “Can you make more?” Killian nods. It makes his hair move. And Emma’s pulse trip over itself. “Absolutely.” They make several batches of frosting, because deluxe gingerbread houses are apparently thicker than usual and require more, and at least half of it gets wasted when Emma keeps eating it. And swiping some across the bridge of Killian’s nose.
Neither one of them mention Mr. or Mrs. Gingerbread again.
Their house turns out very nice, though.
She blames the medication.
For telling him about the one high school she went to in Minnesota where they decorated their lockers for spirit week, and how the foster house she’d been living in gave her exactly one roll of dollar store wrapping paper and a box of ancient tinsel, and Killian barely flinches at the words foster home in that particular order.
He’s a rapt audience, like this is fascinating information, and not decidedly Scrooge-like, and “we didn’t have that at my high school,” he tells her. Which just about seals the deal, as it were.
Emma nearly kills herself more than once, burrowing through her closet and calling in favors from Ruby who only furrows her brows slightly when she shows up on a Thursday morning with a bag of Christmas decorations that—
“What are we doing, exactly?” “Decorating,” Emma says, and to her credit Ruby doesn’t object. Or kick on Killian’s door. Which is in fact, what they’re decorating. Lining the frame with garland, and lights that require an extension cord and are probably breaking their lease somehow, but he doesn’t wake up and no one tells them to stop, and the whole thing turns out pretty fantastic. If Emma does say so herself.
They opt not to hang ornaments off the door. For fear that they’ll shatter. But there are window clings taped to the imitation wood now, in addition to the garland, and Emma can’t imagine where Ruby found tinsel, but it’s appropriately festive and she uses her crutch to knock.
Killian only needs five seconds to answer.
Blinking at the scene in front of him — and an almost overjoyed-looking Ruby, who still mercifully hasn’t expressed the opinions Emma can practically hear vibrating around her skull, but then Killian’s turning and exhaling softly and the press of his lips to Emma’s cheek is jarring and sudden and absolutely perfect.
“You’re blushing,” Ruby drawls, soft enough that it can’t be heard over Killian’s praise of what may be lower Manhattan’s most obnoxiously decorated door.
Emma’s crutch collides with her shin.
“Thank you, love,” Killian says. Sincerity colors every letter, that particular shade of blue like the sky and the ocean and it’s not exactly a holiday color, but it might be Emma’s favorite color now and her mouth is very dry.
“That should be the other way around,” she objects, “for everything you’ve done and—” “I wanted to.” Ruby’s still standing there. With that specific wolf-like smile on her face. “Well,” she proclaims, “I’m going to go, eventually we’ll get officially introduced across-the-hall guy who’s very cute and—” The tips of Killian’s ears go red. More festive. “Take care of Emma on Christmas, will you?”
She leaves almost as soon as the question’s out of her mouth, Killian staring expectantly at Emma because she hadn’t admitted to the inevitable singularity of her Christmas in three days, but she just kind of figured he’d have other things to do and she didn’t want to be depressing.
They’d progressed past depressing by now.
And even the thought of going back to Storybrooke made her ankle ache.
Because well...what if he didn’t have actually anything else to do? What if he was home alone too? What if she left and there wasn’t anyone here and—no, Emma’s not doing that. She hasn't asked. She’s willing to risk the answer.
Or admit it to anything. At least not completely.��
“You’re not going home for Christmas?” Killian asks lightly, but Emma can hear the rest. She shakes her head. “Ruby wants me to, and I’m friends with her friends, but—” Her shoulders don’t move very easily on that shrug. “My ankles still kind of messed up, and they’ve got families and traditions and it always feels like I’m—” “—Overstepping?” “Something like that, yeah.” “You want to order Chinese food on Christmas Eve or Thai?” “Both?” Killian beams. Emma’s cheek is on fire, she’s positive. “Deal.”
“Lift with your legs!” “Would you like to come down here and help?” “Not really, no,” Emma laughs, leaning over the railing at the top of the second-floor landing, and the Christmas tree guy at the end of the block had been understandably concerned that they weren’t going to get the tree back to their apartment in one piece.
Neither one of them mentioned that they live in different apartments. And aren’t a couple. Or dating. Whatever, Emma’s too worried about Killian straining something to care about other adjectives.
“Invalid,” he calls back. Her smile’s going to stretch her face muscles.
“Put those arm muscles to good use!” “Are you ogling me, Swan?” “You show them off.” “Little of column A, little of column B.”
She clicks her tongue, the smile obvious in his voice even when there’s a tree blocking his face and they put the tree in her apartment. After getting a blanket out of Killian’s closet to put underneath it, and the guy had taken pity on them earlier, adding in the star as part of the tree cost because it was Christmas Eve and no one else was buying trees and Emma honestly does not mean to fall asleep with her head on Killian’s shoulder.
Waking with a start, Emma has to blink. More than once. To make sure she’s not still dreaming, but if she were there’d still be a shoulder under her cheek and preferably an arm around her waist, or maybe less clothing, and none of that is happening, so this has to be real.
“Are you ok?
Her voice doesn’t entirely sound like hers — still tinged with sleep and Emma’s only marginally worried there’s bits of tinsel in her hair, because obviously she’d had an extra box of tinsel from the door decorating and they’d thrown that, quite literally, at the tree. The one that almost appears to be shimmering in the bit of moonlight creeping through her curtains, Killian staring out the window at the—
“Is it thundering out?”
He nods without glancing at her. “Happens sometimes. Not often in the winter, but—” Another clap echoes around them, and that must have been what woke Emma up. Not the lack of shoulder, or her recently-acquired ability to read the exact angle of Killian’s shoulders and what that means and he flinches.
“Hey,” Emma says, almost able to walk towards him without wincing, “what’s going on?”
“I didn’t mean to fall asleep.” “That’s not a big deal, what’s happening with your shoulders?”
Turning slower than any human should be able to, Killian levels Emma with an incredulous stare. She juts her chin out. In something akin to almost romantic defiance. “Staring at my arms, now my shoulders. You’ll give a man a complex.” “Stop being an idiot, then.” “Huh.” Lightning joins the fray, snow swirling just outside that window and Emma’s not sure she’s ever been so grateful to be inside. Warm and maybe not entirely content, at least not yet, but definitely safe and even more happy, all of which seems as good a reason as any for everything that happens next.
“What happened to your brother?” Killian’s eyes widen, surprise mixing with something that’s almost dangerously close to anger. Only to disappear just as quickly, morphing into what Emma’s sleep-addled brain can only describe as disappointment. “He’s dead.”
“And?” “That’s usually the end of things.”
“Nuh uh,” Emma objects, which isn’t the worst thing she’s done, but Killian flinches again when she rests a hand on his tension-filled shoulder. “It’s depressing.” “Why’d you wake up?” He tells her. Only after forcing her back onto the couch, because “your ankle’s going to start swelling up again, Swan,” but then the story is as depressing as advertised, with storms and ships and the dead brother who has since achieved hero status in Killian’s brain. And the tears clouding his eyes don’t ever actually fall—which is probably for the best, because Emma isn’t convinced she’d be able to do anything except kiss them away, but he doesn’t look away from her either, and at some point her fingers start tracing over the blunt edge of his left arm.
He doesn’t move.
Doesn’t tell her to stop, or pull away. Just lets her trace over scars that are equal parts metaphorical and literal, and that’s enough. To help ease the cracks in her, swallowing once and meeting his depressing with equally atrocious, and to Killian’s credit there’s no interruption.
Not through foster home explanations, or the whole thing with Neal, meeting Mary Margaret and Ruby, and how it’s never felt like that life could be totally Emma’s, even when she wants it so much she’s certain it’ll explode out of her.
Minutes turn into hours and evolve into the middle of the night, and the snow doesn’t stop and the thunder doesn’t stop and there’s enough light lingering around them that Emma’s able to notice the flickers of blue in Killian’s eyes and the quirk of his lips and—
It was about time, honestly.
Her fingers curl into his t-shirt, all but yanking him closer because not kissing him is the dumbest thing she could possibly do right now. And she’s not dumb. So, that’s her only option, really.
And it takes him a second to respond.
Like he hasn’t also been counting down to this one, exact moment. It’s that moment that almost gives Emma pause, ancient worries rising up in the back of her throat and threatening to spill out her mouth, but then Killian’s mouth is moving and there’s more tongue than she’s entirely prepared for and fingers pushed into her hair, and she genuinely has no idea how she ends up in his lap.
Not that she’s complaining.
Makes it easier to find a rhythm, anyway. Rocking against each other with a sudden burst of friction that’s somehow not nearly enough, roaming hands and lips that trail across the side of Emma’s neck and underneath her chin, and it takes all her willpower not to groan too loudly when Killian laughs.
As soon as he notices the goosebumps on her skin.
“A complex,” he mutters, but it sounds like a compliment and something close to a promise and Emma’s rolling her hips before she can think of all the reasons she shouldn’t.
The groan she gets sends her flying. Metaphorically, literally. Some other adverb that doesn’t matter when there’s an arm around her waist and her legs wrap around Killian on instinct.
They don’t stumble once — although Emma’s feet never touch the ground, so she’s not sure she should be part of the equation, and her laugh bubbles out of her as soon as her back bounces against her bed.
Strictly speaking, the rest is a bit of a blur. Clothes are thrown with abandon, tossed this way and that, and Emma’s teeth find her lower lip when Killian pulls his shirt off, but then his eyes noticeably widen as soon as her leggings are gone and that’s a rather large boon to her confidence. And his hair is somehow softer than she expected it to be.
They’re also very good at kissing.
She considers both things very important.
And Emma’s got no idea what time it is by the time she’s flopped back to her side of the bed, only that there was no discussion about sides and that leaves her feeling warmer and safer and—
“Don’t leave, ok?” Killian flips his head. To smile at her. Like he could—no, not yet. They’ll get to that eventually, maybe. “I don’t really want to.” “Good, thunder kind of freaks me out anyway.” Sheets twist underneath them when he inches closer, and for half a second Emma wonders if he’s going to kiss her again, eyes already fluttering in anticipation. He does, just not where she expects. Not her lips. Everywhere else. The bridge of her nose, either one of her cheekbones and the edges of her eyes, across her brows and the tiny wrinkles in her forehead, each one feeling as if it stamps something onto her soul and her heart and she’s such a goddamn sap at whatever time it might be.
“I like you,” he whispers. “Yeah?” “Yeah. “Good.”
Snow covers the street when Emma blinks awake on Christmas morning, the scene looking like some idyllic version of a city that only a few weeks earlier left her with an abnormally large ankle. Now she can’t feel much except how much she loves this place, and this slightly drafty apartment and—
The noticeably empty right side of her bed.
Huh.
Flopping onto her back, Emma tries very hard not to let her mind wander, but her mind is already in the hallway and there’s talking in the hallway. The loud kind, not totally annoyed, but sounding genuinely confused and that cannot be the first time Killian has grumbled “this is not a big deal” in that exact tone.
Not thinking is really Emma’s greatest talent.
She doesn’t bother putting on shoes before she opens her front door, hair still a tangled mess and there may very well be hickeys on her neck if the look on the face of the guy standing outside Killian’s apartment is any indication.
“Oh,” the woman breathes, and there are apparently two people in the hallway. Emma’s admittedly staring pretty intently at Killian.
Who is not wearing anything on his feet either, and the whole thing is symmetrical and confusing and it takes her way too long to recognize the hallway people. From the frames. Ones that also included uniforms and wide smiles and the guy sticks his hand out like this isn’t the weirdest thing in the history of New York City.
“Will Scarlet,” he says, “and this is my fiancée, Belle. You must be the ankle girl.” Killian pinches the bridge of his nose.
“He did tell us your name,” Belle adds, and Emma’s breathing very loudly. Out of her mouth. Which is hanging open.
She can’t believe she’s not wearing socks.
“Were you stalking me?” she asks Killian, who immediately flushes and grits his teeth and it would be very easy to fall in love with him. Potential felonies not withstanding.
“No, no, no, that’s not what’s happening here.” “And what is happening?” “We’re inviting you both to Christmas,” Belle explains, “because Killian said he couldn’t come if you were here and—” “—You’re certainly here, aren’t you?” Will adds. Killian punches his arm.
Emma’s frozen. Stuck, and still breathing abnormally, eyes like pinballs as they try to figure out who exactly she should be glaring at, but none of the emotions currently churning in between her ribs resemble anger. Confusion, definitely. Possible attraction to the exact way Killian squeezes one of his eyes shut. But nothing even in the realm of frustration.
Huh, again.
“Explain what’s going on,” she demands. Both Belle and Killian’s arms move when Will opens his mouth, a soft grunt of pain that should not be as gratifying to hear from a stranger.
“Can you walk?” Killian asks.
“Are you kidding me?” “No, we kind of forgot about the medicine last night, so—” Hands flying to her mouth, Belle barely manages to contain her response, and Will doesn’t seem to bother, noise bouncing off the hallway and its ugly carpet and Killian’s hand finds the small of Emma’s back when they move. Away from his door and her door and he hisses in a breath through his teeth. “There’s no stalking involved, I swear.” “What is it, then?” “Pining, maybe?” “Pining?” Emma echoes, and the noise Will makes is way closer to a guffaw now.
Killian grimaces. “Not—I mean, not in a totally creepy way. I just...I wasn’t kidding about Ruby being very loud when she kicks on your door. So I’d seen you, and heard like...of you and—” Flustered is admittedly a good look on him. They all are, but Emma hasn’t had any coffee yet and there’s a peanut gallery watching this entire conversation, which is more accidental symmetry and Killian visibly exhales when her hand finds his chest. Still questionably solid. “Anyway, uh—you know how you’re aware of people and think they’re good looking?” “You think I’m good looking?” “Did I not make that obvious enough yet? That’s disappointing.” It’s her turn to blush apparently, ducking her gaze to stare at her bare feet so she doesn’t do something ridiculous like jump him. Emma’s ankle isn’t capable of doing that yet. “And then I heard you cursing Poseidon or whatever Gods you were beseeching that night—” “Ok, Poseidon was not involved,” Emma argues.
Killian’s thumb taps the side of her jaw. She doesn’t snap her teeth. Points. Christmas points, even. “So I opened the door, and found you there. Not being attacked, like I was legitimately worried about, and it all just—” “—Happened?” “Kind of. You kept inviting me inside.” “Well as far as I know you’re not a vampire, so that wasn’t a requirement to come inside, but—” “—I wasn’t just going to barrel into your apartment, Swan.” “No, no, I know,” she promises, waving her hands because she’s suddenly kind of flustered and she never responded last night and she’d like to respond with some emotions, but that’s never really been her thing, so all Emma can do is mumble, “most people I know are jerks, not including Ruby or Mary Margaret, who you don’t know, but—” Killian catches both her wrists in one hand. It’s patently absurd. “That’s not the point.” “What’s the point?” “You’re not.” “A jerk?” “No,” Emma says, trying very hard to smile without crying and it doesn’t really work. Tears land on her cheeks, throat apparently collapsing, and only one of those things seems like the end of the world. Until there are lips on her cheek again, following a pattern that can’t possibly be the one he traced last night.
Or this morning, she supposes.
That’s not the point, either.
“Why?” “Why?” Killian repeats softly. “Because you’re very easy to like.” “That’s not true, at all. I’m—prickly, and angry and I hate Bill de Blasio.” “Everyone does, that doesn’t make you special.”
Exhaling the way she does only ensures she sags against Killian’s chest, and he doesn’t mind all that much. If the way he smirks at her is any indication. “I didn’t want to go to Mary Margaret and David’s for a gazillion reasons, but it wasn’t just my ankle and I—” Her fingers tighten in his shirt. That helps, honestly. Makes her a bit braver and bit surer and kissing him once is more than enough to make Emma’s lungs function normally. “I like you too,” she says, loud enough that she kind of sounds like she’s announcing it and she supposes she almost is. “With or without all the Christmas stuff, but the Christmas stuff was really fun.” “That’s the first time I’ve cared about Christmas in a very long time.”
“Rude,” Will shouts, but Killian’s eyes don’t leave Emma and at some point these imaginary Christmas points became very important to her internal dialogue. He’s got, like, forty billion now.
At least.
“I would have wallowed,” Emma admits, “sat on the couch and hated on everything festive, but...well, I kept calling you good looking in my head.” “When? Before the cursing?” “Yeah, but especially during the cursing and like...now. Were you going to blow off your friends to spend Christmas Day with me?” “Yes,” he says, easy as anything and that’s absolutely, one-hundred percent a sign. One Emma is very willing to read. For as long as she possibly can. “Because he’s only a jerk to us,” Will yells. “You can come too, Emma. We weren’t going to leave you here by your lonesome!” “Except we wouldn’t call it that,” Belle adds, “because this isn’t a Dickenson’ian novel.” “She’s a librarian,” Killian explains when Emma glances questioningly at him, and his fingers are very close to the hem of her shirt.
“Oh yeah, yeah, that makes sense. I should probably shower before we go though.” Eyebrows jumping and smirk settling onto the mouth Emma is totally staring at makes it all but impossible to do anything except ignore the slight twinge in her ankle when she pushes up on her toes and kisses the ever-living daylights out of the good looking guy she hopes is her boyfriend now. They’ll get to that, eventually.
“What are you doing on New Year’s Eve?” she asks, not bothering to move away from him even as Will and Belle jeer from the other end of the hall.
“Whatever you want, Swan,” Killian says. They probably lose some Christmas-type points when he flips off his friends.
They don’t go out for New Year’s Eve.
It’s snowing again, and while Emma's ankle is the right color, it’s easier to claim sitting on the couch is a relationship-tradition when they’re both very eager to use that particular qualifier, and it’s more fun to make out that way. They'll go ice skating eventually.
#cs ff#captain swan#captain swan ff#captain swan fic#cs fic#festive fic a thon 2k20#the prompt i'm working on today may turn into several chapters because i have absolutely no chill whatsoever#and am starting a new job tomorrow so naturally my brain is like TIME TO BE INSPIRED#anyway these have been very fun i hope you guys enjoy them
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dialogue prompt for Sam/Maria: "I wish you'd told me first."
had no idea what to do with this for nearly a year. but now i do
When Maria joined SWORD, she was just expecting the usual problems: space travel, aliens without visas, and maybe Sharon coming back and annoying her about the “necessary” cappuccino machine in her office.
She wasn’t expecting to be on the personal team to help Sam Wilson adjust to being Cap.
This was...odd. It was weird for everyone. But she could roll with weird, so she asked Sam if he knew how to throw it like a Frisbee yet, or if his arm strength wasn’t there yet.
“Oh ha, ha, so funny,” Sam says, rolling his eyes. “Of course I know how, I’m badass. I am Captain America after all.”
Maria doesn’t say anything about the look in his eyes when he says that, like he’s so afraid that someone will tell him he’s not.
And people will.
Steve going back in time is on an extremely strict need-to-know basis.
You can’t tell civilians there are alternate timelines or else you get a mess of epic proportions and the news coverage will not stop blaring no matter where you go, and sometimes Maria likes going to coffee shops for peace and quiet and the occasional croissant.
Barnes is...Maria likes him. A lot, actually. He’s not what the history books painted him as, and he looks at situations like she does: carefully, and with the goal in mind.
Sam is a lot like Steve, which is...stress-inducing.
She had remembered when Sam had practically launched himself out of the old DC quarters and nearly died if not for the placement of the helicopter, and he’s not slowing down any time soon.
Hayward is getting on her about it and if she’s being completely honest, she’s about to pull experience rank and tell him to fuck off and focus just completely on getting his head out of his ass.
Sam is doing fine, considering every single circumstance he’s been put into and the minor PR fiasco by challenging Spider-Man to get his ass kicked.
“I’m going to kill you,” Maria says when Sam picks her up from the airport. She had to travel because somebody told her that she’d be needed on a mission, and Sam was too stubborn to tell her.
“We’re fine. Bucky and Sharon can help me.”
“Well too damn bad, you’re getting Hill,” Maria says.
“I wish I could take you seriously without the neon pink tank top you’re working with,” Sam says, grinning. “I think the brightest color I’ve ever seen you in is forest green.”
“False, I was at the party that Ultron crashed, you saw me there,” Maria says. “And I don’t do warm weather. I had to buy this last-minute, so you’re lucky.”
“You’ll need some other items if we’re gonna get anything done,” Sam mentions.
“Fuck me,” she mutters.
“Maybe later,” Sam responds lightly, and she gives him an eyebrow raise. He just shrugs and asks if she has a suitcase, which of course she does.
-
Sharon greets her with a smile and asking if she wants a beer.
“What kind is it?”
“Local stuff. Supposed to be hoppy.”
“Ugh, fuck that,” Maria groans. “I’m not doing the shitty IPA beer. Who bought that?”
“Me, and it’s good,” Bucky mentions from the couch. He’s a little worse for wear: it looks like he’s a day into his recuperation from the last mission. “How you doing, Hill?”
“Better than you,” she mentions. “What are we dealing with?”
Sharon fills her in, and Sam is reluctant to let her come.
“Director’ll kick my ass if you get hurt. I’ll kick my ass if you get hurt.”
“Quit worrying about me,” Maria says, pushing down the feeling of warmth that Sam’s statement gave her. “And if the director says shit, tell him to shove his boot up his own little-”
“Okay, let’s not get riled up over this,” Sharon says. “Bucky and I were surveilling a little bit of it from the ground, Sam over here had a lovely aerial view. So let’s get a plan...”
It’s a weapons shipment. Some old SHIELD stock that fell into the wrong hands and is falling faster and faster.
“You miss it?” Sam asks her later that night. They’ve made a meal, and Maria is completely real, she can’t remember the last time she cooked with friends.
(That’s a lie. It was after SHIELD fell and Natasha and her...well. It’s over and done with now.)
“Of course,” Maria says. “SHIELD was my life. It was my first real job and I loved it.”
“You think SWORD can do that?”
“Depends on if Hayward resigns,” Maria says. “I never got to enjoy working with Rambeau.”
“Was she the director?”
“The founder,” Maria says, smiling. “I had met her a couple times. She was close with Director Fury, personal friends with Captain Marvel. Died some years back. Her daughter is back now, helping with some confusion in New Jersey.”
“What’s happening in New Jersey?”
“Trust me, you don’t want to know,” Maria says. “But let’s focus on this mission, and get it done.”
“You think we’re entitled to some time off after this one?” Sam asks.
“If we’re lucky,” Maria says. “Why?”
“Wondering if you wanted to go to dinner with me,” Sam says.
Just as easy as that.
Maria looks over at him.
“It’s optional,” Sam goes on, clearly a bit worried. “Did I ruin this, or...?”
“No, no you didn’t,” Maria says, grinning. “But we don’t need to have time off for dinner.”
“No, but we’ll need it for other things,” Sam says, waggling his eyebrows. “Like getting you out of that godawful pink top.”
“Oh like you actually care,” Maria says sarcastically.
“The color? No. Getting it off? Yes.”
Maria snorts, getting up off the porch.
“Well come on, you insufferable romantic. We need to head to bed and get some sleep before tomorrow.”
Sam smiles, accepting her hand to get up.
“But you still want dinner, right?”
“Everyone wants dinner, especially with a good date,” Maria says. “But I’m not doing pizza.”
“What, no pizza?”
“Reserved for extenuating circumstances,” Maria says. “Goodnight, Sam.”
“Well, what about Mexican?”
“...maybe.”
“Chinese?”
“Could also work, we’ll see what we’re feeling tomorrow,” Maria. “If not injured and sore.”
She waves at the door at him, smiling to herself as she enters the room.
Sharon’s sharing the room, and snorts at her.
“So, you and Sam finally asked each other out instead of doing that weird flirty thing you do?”
“What weird flirty thing?”
“Where you pretend like you don’t let him get away with literally everything and he pretends like he doesn’t look at you like you invented the world?”
“He doesn’t look at me like that,” Maria mutters.
“You need to go to the eye doctor’s.”
“So do you.”
“Hey!”
She shrugs off her outfit of the day, changing into comfy pajamas.
Sharon’s dozed off, and Maria follows her in sleep, smiling to herself.
(On the other side of the house they’re staying in, Sam is threatening Bucky with suffocation by pillow if he doesn’t shut up about Maria.
Bucky is taunting him and saying that since Maria and he are friends if Sam kills him, he’ll never get that first date.)
#lovelyirony writes#mariasam#falconhill#hehe :)#maria hill#sam wilson#falcon#deputy director hill#maria and sam are like: yeah we like each other yeah we will argue#i like this one i think#good vibes#also yes bucky and maria are besties this isn't up for debate#sharon and bucky are simply getting free entertainment and neither are mad about it#(low-key kinda wanted sharonbucky in here but that will be for another time)
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