#I’m literally never destined to be happy I always pick the worst ones

[kxlance]

……

I kinda miss klance

[alyjojo]

Past Life 🪡 Karmic Spread January 2024 - Aries

Character Card: The Painter rev & The Diviner rev (both lives)

Gender I’m Picking Up On (in the past life): Female in both lives

Who You Were: 6 Cups & 6 Pentacles

What You Did: 9 Pentacles

How It Ended: Temperance

What Karma Was Brought With You: 2 Swords

Who You Brought With You: Ace of Pentacles

Additional energy: The Tower rev & 9 Swords

Past Life Oracle: Knighthood & Atlantis (past), Imprisonment or Slavery (both lives)

Dreaming Way: Anchor (past), Man & Dog (present)

Charm:

Horse 🐎 and Queen Elizabeth Coin 🪙 on Knighthood

Angel 😇 on Temperance

Telephone ☎️ on Man

Snowflake ❄️ on 9 Swords

Yours is not an easy story. It’s not the worst, but not the best. That was your life. I picked up on England before I even pulled any cards, but Knighthood, Horse and Coin confirm that. This life is very old, I’m hearing “lords and ladies” as titles. Your life is about a difficult marriage, loneliness, and unhappiness, much of this owing to your position as a woman during this time. You weren’t always unhappy, you were a very happy child and I’m getting that you loved your family very much. You were betrothed from a very young age, you always knew you were going to marry someone in particular, but I’m not sure how much you *knew* them. Just knew of. Good family, good stations or titles, maybe friends of your family. There’s a “royal” status with both of your families, though I don’t get this actually being royal, your families were of a higher class status of that time. It could’ve been your second (hopefully) cousin for all I know, there’s an emphasis on family, and the customs that go along with that. You were happy, this was the life you knew, and you were happy to get married, be the dutiful wife, I get there being a strong religious faith in your family, you were “brought up well”.

At the time you were married, still very young, it was a victory to you. I don’t always take Knighthood literally, but with Horse and the time period I’m getting, he may have actually been one. Or someone in that lane, held in high esteem. You were overjoyed to be doing your part, being considered a woman (as a child, probably a teen), able to provide in the ways that women could…biblically. I’m getting you remained positive for a long time, you went above and beyond the call of duty as a wife, tending to your husband’s every need, cooking, sewing…other traditional women activities. But your husband never came around to you, it was him with the issue. You gave him all of your efforts, all of the time, always 110%, and he never seemed to care, reciprocate, genuinely feel anything. This began the war inside of you, your beliefs, culture, family, and social customs demanding one thing of you - and your inner self, always in tears, wondering why you’re not good enough. This feeling slowly turned into depression, that’s what The Painter and Diviner rev are. Your faith started slipping, you lost your confidence, your excitement and eagerness to please, you started losing hope and feeling like nothing you ever did was going to matter, and there was nothing you could do about it. God had destined you for a lovely, rich, prison cell. The image I have is a candle slowly burning out 🕯️

Your faith kept you strong. During the preshuffle & what I got initially, I was sure you left, ran away, but you didn’t. You just thought about it, all of the time, every single day. But you knew you couldn’t, either due to circumstances, laws, money, but mostly your own faith. You were a godly woman, faithful, humble, you sacrificed everything and followed God’s word, even asking for forgiveness for wanting to leave. Not only was your husband not interested in any expression or affection, he was hardly around. Gone for days at a time. Weeks even. You spent the majority of your life completely alone, except for church, I get that being what you looked forward to, it kept you going. I had to ask separately about children, especially in that time, it was unavoidable and expected, but I’m getting there was no sex in this marriage. Very little if any. It was brought up, planned even, excused away, nothing ever came of this, your husband ducked and dodged every attempt you’d make to try for children. He didn’t want them. I don’t get that he was gay either, he shows up as possibly narcissistic & cruel when it comes to family, marriage, domestic things, but I don’t get that being open knowledge either. Quiet and avoidant, intimidating, looks that could kill, a cold manner, disdain even, not an expressive person - at all. You hardly ever saw him, and still even years later, you looked forward to when you would. You always tried. They never did.

Over time you found happiness in other things, you had to. You always gave your concerns to God, and were forever faithful to this life He had given you. I do get people being around periodically, I’m not sure if they’re servants, friends, neighbors, family, idk, and it wasn’t all the time. It was enough for you, Anchor describes your whole life, you were a rock of spiritual faith & honor to someone with high esteem and little substance. Any time he’s around it’s extremely uncomfortable, that’s the only way I can describe it, you just smile through it and try to cheer through the day, and it’s like he just gets weirder. Oi. Atlantis is here as fanciful daydreaming, what else did you have to do, after every bit of everything you could do was done - and it always was, you’d dream of escape, and then repent like it was wrong, sometimes even cry due to guilt/shame. End of life, I’m getting you lived a long time, and so did your husband. I hear 40, or close to it, it was a very long life as far as you were concerned, I get it was natural, maybe an illness led to it in the end, and you were never afraid of death. You longed for answers, and knew you would get them when it was time “to go home”. It was a patient waiting game, you were sent for a purpose, you were God’s servant, you did everything you could, and you waited to join him. Sacrificial & extremely humble. With a smile even, always, at least to the world.

Now I’ve gotten a story just like this before, it seems to be a theme with those that have been held captive, in slavery, in prison, these same feelings - but were innocent & good people. In this life, the red carpet has been rolled out for you. You can do *anything* you want to do, in fact I’m hearing all you have to do is ask, and you only maybe have to work half as hard as someone else, you have the favor of Spirit on your side. But, you keep yourself locked in a prison, willingly. Due to indecision, a lack of confidence and direction, you don’t have enough faith in your abilities or talents to feel you *can* do anything. You hesitate out of fear that the worst may happen. You stress yourself out about life, career, goals, the future, LOVE. But you could literally do anything and Spirit will help 💙 You don’t though. You have no clue what you want. Spirit knows that too.

You’ve brought a gift, someone that offers you something to get you financially stable, could be a job, they’re like an acquaintance, a recruiter, a manager, a teacher but more like mentor, I’m seeing an internship possibly, or that’s how it’s being described. Someone that sees potential you can’t see, it’s like they just know, I’m getting this was a church friend or someone dear to you in the past. They had a deep knowing then too & they genuinely have your back. I get them being temporary though, they’re here for a purpose and then go. You also have a gift for making money, you may not even know it. It’s like it’s unconsciously led, you’re divinely guided, because Spirit knows you wouldn’t just choose it, not initially anyway, and they’re not going to let you go without - again. There’s also extreme trauma and fear on a SOUL level in regards to love, you fear it, you think everyone is out to get you. Cold people terrify you generally. You feel like you’re destined to get with someone that’s just fkn awful, and there may have been a run-in with your husband…just enough to get this sickening feeling in your gut. I don’t get you being with him though, it would’ve been someone with that same personality I described him as that makes you feel terrible just being around you, it could be a casual person, coworker, school mate, you don’t deal with them very long, and not much. They’re still an asshole, and I get the interaction being karmic for them, not you 💯 You are terrified of love but there’s one with Man here, and Phone, you talk to this person, they’re in your world. Or will be, very chatty, open, expressive, transparent. He’s looking at the Dog, this is a loyal man, he means what he says and is probably the person you’re supposed to be with. Could love dogs/animals. If you worry about him, don’t, he’s going to stick around forever if you let him. Your life is mostly free will. If you could do anything, what would it be? You may not think you can, but you can.

As I was wrapping up and putting cards away, I heard “both of them”. That last message is for two people. One that this story actually applies to, and the other is going to feel something, a chill, goosebumps, some deep resonating with the whole & not the details - they too have deep insecurities, fears, and doubts, they don’t feel they can “make it” and they share this message of “you can do anything”. I’m hearing that’s also why there are two character cards here.

[roger-that-cap]

weatherman

at first, you loved the words on your body that connected you to your soulmate, your one and only. but the older you got, the more annoying and mocking they became. what weirdo sings rhianna when they first meet their soulmate, anyway?

steve rogers x fem!reader

soulmate au!

word count: 1.7k, she’s a baby :,)

warnings: none besides the fact that this was written in an hour and a half, flufff!

By the time you were old enough to read, the song wasn’t out yet. At the time, you had no idea it was a song, of course, and the words were still cute. It sounded like you had a sweet soulmate. You thought of your soulmate coming to you in a million different ways in your imaginative little brain every single time it rained.

But when you were eight years old, the song came out. And then, you were teased for your words relentlessly. They started to hum the song when you walked by. Someone drew you a picture of a raindrop. One kid was even bold enough to laugh right in your face and tell you that Rihanna herself was your soulmate.

And every morning, you would turn on your side, lift your arm up, and look at the words inscribed in semi-neat cursive, your soulmate’s writing.

You can stand under my umbrella

Who even said that? It was so… cheesy. As the years went by, you doubted that it was rain at all that made the words come out of your soulmate’s mouth. By the time you were in high school, you were certain that it was a pick up line. You no longer longingly stared at every rain shower that happened.

Even though you had a certain, tiny disdain for whoever was behind the words, you knew that you missed them in a way that you didn’t understand fully yet. Perhaps the reason was that everyone else around you was happy with their other halves, living perfect lives with the person destined for them, but you knew that wasn’t their fault that you didn’t have yours. By the end of high school, most people already met their soulmates. You didn’t have yours yet, and it was your second year of college. Naturally, you started to worry.

What if they didn’t exist at all?

The possibility of not having a soulmate and just having filler words in the form of a Rihanna song plagued you every day, and the thought only got stronger when it rained. When you were younger, rain meant good luck, and it was your comfort weather. Now, all it brought was the cold and negative thoughts.

§§

It was your lucky day, because it was quite literally pouring while you served the drenched customer her coffee. You watched her yank the door open and rush towards her car through the glass windows, and you swore under your breath when you remembered something.

Your car was in the shop, and you were supposed to be walking home from work. That meant walking home in the torrential downpour.

You sighed and shook your head, leaning over the counter and already anticipating getting ultimately drenched on your short walk home.

Your boss let you go home early and started closing shop, and you didn’t know if you wanted to thank her or send her the bird for not letting you wait out the storm. She had never let you go home early before, not once in the entire history of you working there. It was unusual. You had full intentions of asking her if she had a hot date, but she started to turn off the lights before you could ask her what made her want to do something nice for once.

You shook your head again as you realized that you didn’t even have a hood or jacket or even worse, and umbrella. You sighed and braced for the cold, yanking the door open and folding your arms, pushing through the uncomfortable feeling of the cold, wet rain with your head down.

You got caught at a crosswalk and had to watch cars fly by. Of course you did. There were footsteps behind you, and you sighed and regretted the second that you stomped your foot, looking up to the sky and letting the rain hit you right in the face. “This is the worst fucking day of my life.”

There was a gasp from beside you and you didn’t even open your eyes. You assumed that whoever it was, was offended by your language. “Sorry,” you said, but you didn’t sound apologetic at all.

Someone cleared their throat from beside you, and you turned your head to the side to see a handsome blonde man with a dark blue umbrella and a pink flush on his face smiling at you, already moving the umbrella your way. Your heart raced. This couldn’t be it. Was it? Your hands were suddenly shaky as you waited for the man to say something, anything. No, not anything, you were waiting to hear the predestined offer (or pickup line) that you now loved again.

“Here,” the man said, and the sound of rain hitting the roof of the umbrella was almost as empty as you felt in the moment. You mustered up a smile at him and said a small thank you, trying to mask the disappointment that came with being so close meeting your soulmate after all.

The man held the umbrella for as long as he walked in the same direction as you, and then he apologized for not being able to hold it for you any longer. “It’s alright, thank you” you said, and hoped that the sound of the pounding rain was enough to hide the tremor in your voice. You were not about to cry.

You went to stand under the roof of a building on the side of it, hoping that the wave of rain would be over in a few minutes. It was better than running for two minutes, you supposed. You saw another blonde man with large strides walk past, with an even darker blue umbrella in his hand, and he was dry.

You groaned. “How am I the only one who didn’t know about the rain?”

The man stopped in his tracks and turned around, looking at you with wide, blue eyes as you stood nonchalantly under the roof, arms crossed and still a little hurt after the universe teasing you with the first umbrella man. When all he did was stare at you, you have him a harsh look and looked away. Staring men always meant trouble, and the meaner you were, the faster they would leave you alone.

“You can stand under my umbrella,” the handsome man said, and slowly, your head turned back his way. Your eyes locked again, and it was your turn to stare like an idiot. “I-I mean, if you want to.”

You leaned off of the wall of the building and took a step towards him. “Did you really just say that?”

A grin lit up on his beautiful face, and you already decided that his smile was your favorite thing on earth. Screw churros from the fair. “Depends, did you just say something about being the only one who didn’t know about the rain?”

You threw yourself into his arms, and he nearly dropped the umbrella just to hold you. His embrace was warm and strong, and he used just enough pressure for you to feel he was there. “I didn’t think you were real.”

It truly did felt surreal. You were in your soulmate’s arms after all that time wondering, worrying, and losing sleep, and now it all felt like it was going to be alright. You could see the happiness in you near future coming your way, the questions and the subtle and uncontrollable bitterness towards others fading away quickly. You already held this man high in your mind, and just like that, he was a priority. And you didn’t even know his name yet.

Instead of asking him for the name that you so desperately wanted to know or saying any of the cheesy words swirling around in your mind, you decided to talk about the words. “Because, who quotes Rihanna?”

“Who doesn’t look at the weather before leaving the house?” He retorted, pulling back a bit to study your face. You were glad that he was able to do it, because you discovered that his face was just as comforting as the warmth of his arms.

“Shut up, weatherman.”

He smiled down at you, blue eyes giving you a fond look that only soulmates could give each other after meeting so suddenly. He poked you right on your nose, a fluttering touch that made your heart skip a few beats.

“I can walk you wherever you need to go.” Your heart warmed at his kindness. It turned out the younger you that hoped that your soulmate was a sweetheart was right, after all.

“No, it’s okay, it’s probably out of your way,” you said anyway, disregarding the way the inner you was screaming at the part of you that had control over your mouth.

“I’m not even supposed to be all the way over here right now, and I think I already missed my appointment.”

“Where are you supposed to be?”

“The barbershop.”

You frowned at him. The barbershop was all the way on the other side of town, and he didn’t seem like he was lost. “How’d you find yourself over here?”

He paused for a second, like he was debating on whether or not to tell the truth. “Something told me to walk this way.”

You could have fallen apart, and you believed that without even knowing you, he would have known how to put you back together again. “Looks like you listened,” you breathed out, in awe of the man before you, who was staring at you with the same look of bewilderment.

“How could I not?” He took one of your hands in his after asking for permission with his eyes, and you felt the tingling build up at the connection. “I’m Steve.”

You told him your name, and he repeated it once, and then twice, and then a smile was on his face, like that was the one word he needed to hear. You resisted the urge to touch his face now that you could see the subtle stubble growing in. “Don’t wear it out, weatherman.”

You took a step forward, and his long legs only took half of his normal stride to match up with you. He walked you home while you talked about anything and everything with him, every now and again talking about the words on your respective wrists and how glad you were that you found each other.

It felt so right.

You met him the next day at the park, and it was as sunny as it could be. He was carrying a tackily designed gift bag that he put red tissue paper in, and from then on, you knew he was a big goof. He handed you the bag with a huge, dopey smile on his face, and you cackled when you opened it.

It was an umbrella, an poncho, and a copy of Weather for Dummies.

******

omg omg not my first soulmate au lmao and many more to come in different shapes and sizes bc-

i’m obsessed

hope y’all liked it!!! <3

[ourloveisforthelovely]

Revelation

Harry Potter Marauders Era-post Hogwarts 

Summary:  After James and Lily's deaths, you have to face secrets from your past. Secrets that caused a lot of pain are going to be brought back from the furthest corners of your heart. You have to learn to care for your nephew in the midst of a war that no one wants to deal with.

Pairings: Regulus Black x Reader 

Rating: M- sensitive themes 

Shout out to @regulusheadcanons for some kick ass ideas

________

Home again...it should be a happy occasion but it wasn’t. You had received word from Sirius that James and Lily had been killed. Your older brother and sunny sister-in-law and best friend were gone and your sweet nephew was an orphan.

Y/n, I have Harry but I need your help. Remus and I need you and you’ll need your family in the coming days. Please come home.”

You had read the letter multiple times on the flight from the US back to the UK and felt even more guilty with each second. If you had just stayed home and didn’t run off to the state after your break up with Regulus; maybe James and Lily would still be alive.

Whether you were home or away if James and Lily were destined to die it would happen.

Remus’ words came back to you from the night before. You had spent an hour before bed last night crying to Remus over the phone. As usual, Remus was the one person that could calm you down. It could have been Regulus but he totally shot that to hell.

Regulus was still a sore subject for you...a secretive sore subject. The two of you had dated “in private” since the fifth year. You thought that the two of you were in love but Regulus wasn’t ready to “let his parents down.” Those were his words, not yours. You were under the impression that after graduation the two of you would begin a life together as Jams and Lily did. When Regulus ended the relationship because he knew that his parents wouldn’t support it. There was no way that Walburga and Orion Black would be happy with their heir dating a Potter that was in Gryffindor.

To deal with the pain of the breakup, you packed a bag and took off to America. You had left your brother and close friends in a state of confusion. They couldn’t wrap their minds around why you would just vanish in the middle of the night with literally no explanation. You played it off as some kind of “getting to know yourself” adventure and everyone seemed to believe it.

Now here you were going back home to rejoin the order that Regulus was apparently now a part of. You were trying to think of ways that you would be able to be in the same room with him and not act as if the two of you once had a passion-fueled relationship. Did you still have feelings for Regulus? Yes, you knew that there was no sense in denying it. You also knew the first time that you laid eyes on him all of those feelings would multiply...I’m screwed.

(1 hour later)

Regulus stood beside Sirius and Remus waiting for your plane to land. He had no idea what he was doing by tagging along with his brother but here he was.

You’re here because you love Y/n and are desperate to see her. You want to tell her that you were a fool for not manning up and telling mum and dad to bugger off.

Regulus thought as he tried to calm himself. The thoughts were truthful. He never should have let his family’s reputation affect his decision on how he handled the relationship that he valued the most...but he did. Now here Regulus stood a miserable lonely bastard with a brand on his left arm that he couldn’t get off.

Life sucks.

He had no family, no prospects of a successful future, and no lover. The life that Regulus knew so well had gone down the all-mighty porcelain shit hole in the course of one year. After finding out that her “heir” switched sides, Walburga banished Regulus from the family. Lucky for him, Regulus drained his Gringotts vault before his mother could leave him poor and penniless. Regulus could deal with the whole not having a successful future part. Working for the order should provide him some kind of satisfaction (eventually...maybe) The not having a lover part was the worst of all the three.

Regulus hated the way that he felt over the past year that you had been gone. He had attempted to date other girls but it always went south. There was something wrong with every girl that Regulus went out with.

This one talks too much.

This one has no personality.

This one bit me when giving me a blowjob.

None of them was the one girl that he wanted the most. Not one of the girls was the one that Regulus knew...the one that he loved.

“Hey grumpy, are you okay over there?”

Regulus looked up when Sirius spoke. Rolling his eyes, Regulus turned to face his brother with a sneer.

“He’s so charming.”

Sirius said with a smirk as he elbowed Remus in the side. Remus was used to the banter between Sirius and Regulus. It was mostly Sirius nagging Regulus and Regulus either rolling his eyes or calling Sirius a twat.

“There’s Y/n.”

Sirius quickly said before walking out into the aisle. He smiled as you finally met his gaze. You quickly threw your bag down before running to Sirius and jumping in his arms. What you didn’t see was Regulus watching the whole thing with a furiously jealous expression on his face.

Is there something that I’m missing? Of course, she likes Sirius. Why wouldn’t she? He is sooo good looking! He has such a charming attitude.

Regulus thought bitterly as Sirius held you a little longer than necessary. Were the two of you in some kind of relationship that Regulus didn’t know about and if so why hadn’t Sirius mentioned it? Regulus would go ape shit if the two of you were dating...you were his...used to be his.

What Regulus didn’t know was the hug was purely therapeutic and comforting for the both of you. Sirius needed you as much as you needed him (in a strictly platonic way). You were as good as a little sister to Sirius and seeing you after James and Lily’s death soothing. Sirius knew that you needed the support as much as he did.

Sirius didn’t want to think about the fact that Harry and yourself were the only Potter left now. His “new” family has quickly diminished before his eyes. Sirius had been so thrilled to finally have a family that loved him and now it was mostly gone. In Sirius’ mind, he had already made a personal pledge to make sure that nothing happened to you. He would make sure that both Harry and yourself were safe until the day that he died.

You let yourself slide out of Sirius’ arms as he smiled down at you. This was the first that either of you had smiled in a few days.

“Look at you. One year across the pond and you are still as adorable as when you left.”

Sirius said with a smile You rolled your eyes. This was typically Sirius Black. He always knew how to say something to make even the worst situations a bit better.

“And you always know what to say. It's good to see you...especially now.”

Sirius nodded, his face darkening. It was no secret to the two of you that the days ahead would be some of the darkest of your lives. Sirius pulled you into another hug. Pressing a kiss to the top of your head Sirius had to fight his own tears that were threatening to spill from his eyes.

“We are going to make it. We have to for Harry.”

You nodded in agreement. James and Lily made it clear that if anything should happen to them, they wanted Sirius and yourself to take care of Harry. The two of you, a couple or not, were the ones that would be the best fit to care for and love their son the most.

“We’ve got this.”

You said in agreement. Both Sirius and yourself sucked at making your true feelings known. It would be easier to say that the two of you were devastated and didn’t know how life would ever go back to normal...but you wouldn't...you couldn’t.

Sirius finally let you go before wrapping an arm around your waist.

“I have a surprise for you. I dragged Remus along with my grumpy brother. Don’t mind him, he just hates everyone equally.”

The moment that you looked up and locked eyes with Regulus, your mouth dropped. There he stood...he was so close that you could run to him.

He hurt you. He doesn’t deserve a moment of your time. Kick him in the shins if he tries anything.

The sassy voice in your head picked up as your brain went into over-protection mode. As much as you wanted to hug Regulus, you weren't. You would admire him from afar.

“Hello, Regulus.”

He nodded, not saying anything. Regulus had a feeling that if he spoke, feelings that he didn’t want Sirius or Remus to know would spill out. He would look like a fool in the middle of the airport.

Regulus wanted nothing more than to tell you that he had changed. He wasn’t the man that he used to be. If you would just give him a chance, he could prove it...or was he too late. Had Sirius stolen you from him for good? Would Regulus be able to watch the two of you as a couple? Hell no! Regulus would rather be killed or just die in some tragic way than watch you be his brother’s lover.

Sometimes dead is better.

Before Regulus was able to make a comment, Remus stepped in and pulled you into a hug. Regulus put his head down with an insolent frown. What he didn’t see was Sirius watching him with a suspicious frown. Why did Regulus suddenly look like a jealous lover?

Arriving back to Sirius’ house, you were thrilled to automatically be greeted by Marlene and Dorcas. Both of your friends took turns hugging you and cradling you like a baby.

“You look so pretty! Dorcas, doesn’t she look pretty?”

Marlene squealed. Dorcas nodded.

“Of course, she looks pretty. We’ve missed your face.”

“Um, you two are kind of hurting my face.”

You squeaked. Both Dorcas and Marlene backed away as Sirius stepped into the room with Harry in his arms. Your happy smile faded as you laid your eyes on your nephew that looked so much like his father.

Sirius smiled as he placed the baby boy in your arms.

“Harry, say hello to your aunty Y/n. She’s a doll, huh?”

Sirius smirked as he noticed Regulus step into the room. The younger brother immediately locked his eyes on you.

Crap….

He was dreading the moment that you met your nephew for the first time. Regulus dreaded seeing your tears and here you were cuddling the baby with tears in your eyes. He hated it even more that he couldn’t comfort you like he used to. When something was bothering you before, Regulus took care of it. He knew how to make everything better. Whether it be simply cuddling you, kicking someone’s ass in “secret”, or physical comfort...Regulus did it.

“Uh oh, I think someone needs a change.”

You stated, pulling Regulus from his thoughts. Sirius pointed to the little bedroom off of the kitchen.

“That’s his room. Feel free to do whatever you need to. I normally put him down for a nap about this time.”

You walked from the room with a smile leaving Sirius and Regulus alone in the kitchen.

The moment that you were gone, Regulus sat down at the table and reached for the newspaper in front of him. Sirius, meanwhile, decided to ask questions about his suspicions.

“So, Reg, I have a curious question.”

Regulus didn’t look up from the newspaper. His dark eyes were focused on reading. The less that he had to deal with his brother the better off he was. He was too busy trying to control his emotions over you and didn’t have the strength or patience to deal with Sirius and his nonsense.

“The answer is yellow and you are not a woman.”

Regulus replied with a small smirk. Sirius gave his brother an annoyed sneer.

“I’m aware of that fact and I have no idea what yellow has to do with anything. My question is what happened between Y/n and yourself?”

Regulus looked up, obviously surprised.

“Excuse me?”

Sirius glanced over his shoulder to make sure that you weren’t listening.

“I saw how the two of you look at each other.”

Regulus resumed his “cool as a cucumber” attitude. Turning the page of the newspaper, he went back to reading.

“I should ask you the same question.”

It was Sirius’ turn to look confused.

“Huh?”

Regulus snorted.

“The way that you two go gaga over each other. It's disgusting. I wish James would come back from the dead to kick your ass.”

Sirius blinked. The way that the two of you acted at the airport was typical “Sirius and Y/n” behavior. Anyone that knew the two of you would agree to that. It was playful fun between friends. Sirius didn’t look at you like…

Oh my god, Regulus is hot for Y/n!

Sirius’ mouth dropped at the thought. He quickly pointed at his little brother.

“You like her! Have you two...done dirty things?”

Regulus looked up. He placed his elbows on the table to place his chin on his hands.

“To answer your question, yes we have done dirty things. If you think that you are going to be half the lover to her that I was, you are sadly mistaken. I bet she hasn’t called you daddy before.”

The words left Regulus’ mouth before he could really think about what he said. Normally, Regulus typically was very calculating with what he said. This comment, however, just came out leaving Regulus feeling like a jealous 13-year-old girl who was deciding who could sit with him at lunch and who couldn’t.

“Huh?”

Sirius questioned. Regulus didn’t blink or move.

“What?”

Regulus replied, with a sneaky smirk. Sirius, meanwhile, stood with his mouth wide open as he realized exactly what his brother said. Regulus didn’t make any facial expression as Sirius scratched his head. How long had you been sleeping with Regulus? When did this happen and where was Sirius? How did he not pick up on this and you called Regulus “daddy.”

Sirius would never think about his little brother in that particular context. He still saw Regulus as his innocent quiet brother who he assumed was still a virgin but obviously wasn’t (and he was apparently good at doing the “deed.”)

Regulus-fucking-Black is a kinky dude... it's always the quiet ones.

Sirius thought before speaking gibberish when he tried to question his brother on when and where this all started and how did he miss the memo?

“Y-wh-she-where…”

Regulus smirked before going back to his newspaper leaving his brother to question everything about a world that he thought he knew so well. He only looked up again when you stepped into the room with Remus behind you. The two of you were talking quietly and stopped at Sirius’ strange actions.

“Sirius, what’s wrong?”

Remus questioned as you looked between both brothers. Sirius motioned to Regulus then to you and uttered a strange slew of words that were mixed together so much that no one could understand. Had you not been so confused, you would have found Sirius’ over the top dramatic motions to Remus amusing. He clearly expected Remus to understand what he was talking about but Remus just blinked and scratched his head.

“Uh-huh.”

Remus politely replied and decided that he was not going to try to decipher what Sirius was freaking out for the moment. Once Sirius got himself together, Remus was sure that he would hear about whatever it was.

Regulus stood up with a pleased smile on his face.

“My work here is done.”

You had a feeling on what happened. Sirius was just let in on the “big secret” and was having the reaction that you expected. If James was still alive he would either be doing the same thing or he would have Regulus in a headlock...it would be a real toss-up. Hopefully, somewhere in heaven, your brother wasn’t giving Lily too hard of a time.

Waiting a moment longer, you turned and followed Regulus outside onto the front step. He was in the middle of lighting a cigarette when you stepped out with no coat on. Rolling his eyes, he didn’t want to let his attention linger too long but couldn’t help it.

“Go back inside. It's cold out here.”

Regulus commented. He felt bad that the first thing that he said to you was an order. The last thing that he wanted was for you to get ill. You crossed your arms over your chest as the cold autumn air surrounded you.

“So the first words that you say to me is an order. Is that how it's going to be?”

You questioned as Regulus took a drag on the cigarette before turning back to you. He groaned before tossing the half-smoked cigarette into the waiting ashtray. Pulling his coat off he gently wrapped it around your shoulders.

You were clearly surprised by his action. Surprised and heartbroken was the exact feelings that you had going through you. The coat smelled just like Regulus always had from the time that you had gotten to know him. That comforting scent that always made your overly anxious nerves relax anytime that he was near you.

“Um...sorry. Hello, sorry that I’m an ass.”

Regulus offered, clearly confused as to what you wanted from him. You sighed.

“You told Sirius about our relationship didn’t you?”

Regulus shook his head.

“Not exactly. He asked if we did dirty things and I simply said that I bet you haven’t called him daddy before.”

All of the thoughts came to a screeching halt in your mind. Regulus had actually said that to Sirius and now Sirius knew! You blushed at the realization that you would have to explain this to Sirius soon. There was also the annoyance that Regulus didn’t seem to mind letting his brother in on the secret but he couldn't open his mouth to his parents. Maybe you were right all along? Perhaps the relationship was just about the sex to Regulus and when he said “I love you” he didn’t really mean it.

“You’re comfortable telling Sirius what we do in the bedroom but you don’t have the balls to tell your parents anything...lovely.”

Regulus’ face was unreadable for a moment.

“I don’t talk to my parents anymore. You would have known that if you hadn’t run off to America.”

“You broke up with me. I had nothing to stay for. As far as I knew, you were stuck on being a death eater and wanted nothing more to do with me. Did you honestly think that I was going to wait around for you to walk all over me again? I’m not dirt under your shoe just because I am not some member of some super elite club of pureblood morons.”

Regulus didn’t expect the venom to ooze out of your mouth the way that it did. Now here he stood looking at you with an annoyed expression.

“It looks like you’ve moved on just fine with my brother.”

You laughed at that comment...hard.

“Sirius and I? Wow, you must really be fucked in the head if you think that I would date someone who is like another brother to me.”

“I'm fucked in the head? Did you really say that?”

Regulus snapped. You nodded.

“Yep. Sure did. You know what, maybe I should date Sirius. At least, he was there for me. He wanted to make sure that I was okay and even offered to come to America to get me. You didn’t. In this whole year that we have been broken up, how many times have you tried to contact me? I’ll answer that...none. All that I have to say to you is, Regulus Black you aren’t getting your coat back.”

You turned on your head storming in the house and slamming the door behind you. Regulus stood looking at the place that you once stood with an annoyed frown.

“Fuck!

________

@amelie-black @regulusheadcanons @truly-insatiable @fandomsxxregulus @realgaytrash @quuenofblacks @lucasfilms77 @fific7 @hazncalsgal @teletubiswszpilkach @exhsle @acciosiriusblack @whymyparentscheckmyphone @criminalyetminimal @bennyberry @mimisparkle12 @jessyballet @knreidy1 @rubyroscoe1 @spiderxalmighty @brokencasbutt67-writer @authoressskr @fandom-trash-worth-it @summer-novak @hankypranky @emiwrites3reads @shaylybaby2032 @li0nh34rt @tas898 @stuckinsaudi1 @untoldshortsofthefandoms @sprnaturallover @deanwherescas @wontlookaway @shitfaceddaniel @mycuddlycorner @marichromatic

[wordsablaze]

5 Times Witchers Were Too Asexual For This

…and the one time Jaskier firmly got it through their lovable and yet ridiculously thick skulls that a little confusion here and there doesn’t change how much he adores them.

A/N: self-indulgently inspired by the sheer amount of times i've mentally gone "aha nope, i am too ace for this" - happy ace week <3

-

1 - Geralt

Geralt can never comprehend how Jaskier gets into so much trouble.

He’d always thought the worst kind of threats came from mages and their ridiculous games of illusion and power but travelling with Jaskier makes him reconsider because it’s genuinely concerning how many people have death wishes on his behalf.

“Who is it this time?” Geralt asks, folding his arms and promptly cursing at himself for doing so as it proves he can be just as dramatic as the bard he’s trying not to concede to.

Jaskier grins, clearly picking up on the same thing. “It doesn’t matter, my dear witcher, because you already know you’re coming with me!”

“I do not!” Geralt argues, unfolding his arms and glaring.

“Oh come on,” Jaskier scoffs, winking at him, “we both know you’re already trying to figure out how to get out of wearing the clothes I’ve already had made for you.”

Geralt sighs. “Jaskier…”

But said bard has already left the room to return downstairs and as the sound of his lute travels through the inn, Geralt groans to himself.

He’s still groaning to himself when he’s dressed in three different shades of blue but he and Jaskier arrive at the feast the next day. He hadn’t bothered to ask what the occasion was so he just settles in the corner and watches as Jaskier weaves his way between everyone, biting down the part of his heart that yearns to be right by Jaskier’s side.

Hours pass before he’s forced to move, spotting a rather tall stranger crowding Jaskier against a wall and feeling the subtle scent of fear radiating from them.

“-idn’t mean to, I swear! I’m certain you can also appreciate the beauty of-”

“My wife?” the man interrupts, practically spitting anger.

Jaskier laughs nervously as Geralt makes his way over, clearly stalling for time. “You must believe I had absolutely no inkling that she was betrothed and while I’m aware my apologies will not undo our actions, I implore you to perhaps-”

“Jaskier. There you are.” Geralt says, glancing between him and the angry husband.

“And who are you?”

At that, Jaskier bristles. “Were you not listening to my performance? I just sang about-”

“A Witcher. What, did he also sleep with your… uh…?” the man falters, clearly deciding that he’d rather not offend someone who carries around swords.

Geralt and Jaskier share an amused look before Geralt shakes his head. “My bard was cursed with… irresistible urges… by a mage. You can’t blame him for it.”

He’s almost certain Jaskier will grumble about this particular excuse for days - to which he’ll remind him that at least it’s not the one where he was kicked by an ox - but the angry husband seems to buy it, throwing him a pitying look.

“I didn’t know, I’m sorry,” he says sincerely.

Jaskier clears his throat. “Yes, well, it’s not something that one should sing about publicly, is it? You know how troublesome rumours can be…”

The man nods understandingly before leaving, at which point Jaskier punches his arm. “Geralt, you prat!”

He shrugs, a tiny smirk on his face. “I wasn’t entirely wrong.”

Jaskier seems to consider this before humming, leaning forward to plant a kiss on Geralt’s cheek. “Thank you.”

He doesn’t get a chance to reply before Jaskier has slipped away to continue performing but really, it goes without saying that although Geralt doesn’t understand Jaskier’s actions half the time, there’ll never be a day where he doesn’t want to protect him from the consequences.

-

2 - Eskel

Eskel can never predict when the scent of watermelon will fill the air.

It’s a strange scent that he thinks should probably please him but for some reason only serves to surprise him every time it radiates from Jaskier at seemingly random moments.  To his credit, Jaskier tries his best not to make it too obvious or slip away before it becomes too overwhelming but sometimes it catches both of them by surprise and there’s no avoiding it.

He and Jaskier have been travelling north for a few months when they reach a town that Jaskier seems to recognise, immediately elbowing him. “Eskel! Eskel, darling, this is the town I was telling you about with that absolutely magnificent tailor!”

Eskel hears the question without Jaskier having to ask and smiles. “Yes, we can make a quick detour.”

Jaskier grins, squeezing his hand in thanks as the two of them continue walking. As expected, Jaskier launches into a comprehensive description of every doublet he’s had made by this one specific tailor as they make their way there, Eskel only really half paying attention.

“Jaskier!” someone calls out excitedly.

“Mikhail!” Jaskier calls right back, waiting until Eskel nods in amusement before letting go of his hand and embracing the man who must be the tailor.

Leaning against a wall, Eskel watches as the two of them start discussing the latest fabric patterns and shapes of buttons - he’s not even remotely interested but if Jaskier can learn how to take care of goats for his sake then he can stick around during a discussion about fashion.

And anyway, it’s a rather nice workshop, quiet and calm in comparison to the rest of the town. He doesn’t mind waiting, focusing on the sound of Jaskier’s excited voice as he lets his eyes close, one hand on the hilt of his sword just in case.

It’s only when he hears Jaskier gasp and the cool scent of watermelon fills the room that he opens his eyes again, raising an eyebrow automatically. Jaskier glances over to him immediately, clearly about to explain, but Mikhail whispers something to him and he reddens, biting his lip.

“Really? Buttons?” Eskel asks, equally as confused as he is amused.

Jaskier just shrugs. “I’ll, uh, catch up with you later?”

Part of Eskel wants to know what in Melitele’s name Jaskier finds so appealing about buttons but also, he really doesn’t. He’s learned from experience that sometimes - almost always, actually - not knowing certain things about Jaskier is better for both of them.

“Don’t get in trouble, bardling,” Eskel warns as a way of politely taking his leave.

“Love you too!” Jaskier calls after him, and not that he’ll admit it if asked but Eskel doesn’t stop smiling even after the scent of lust fades away entirely.

-

3 - Lambert

Lambert can never figure out why Jaskier flirts with almost everyone.

Not that he has anything against Jaksier’s flirting and the way it seems to plant warmth inside his chest but really, it seems pointless to flirt with so many strangers. And yet Jaskier does it the same way he breathes, which is to say he does so without really thinking about it. And every time, Lambert watches as he trades carefully constructed compliments in exchange for food or wine or coin or literally anything else.

“Lambert? What are you frowning about?” Jaskier asks, flopping into the space across from him.

When Jaskier raises an eyebrow, he only frowns harder. “I’m not frowning,” he lies.

Jaskier snorts. “And I’m a witcher.”

“You wouldn’t know what to do with a sword if your life depended in it,” Lambert retorts.

“Depends what kind of sword,” Jaskier replies, stealing a potato from his plate.

He tries to think back to a single time where Jaskier has successfully beaten anyone in a swordfight but when his memory draws a blank, he frowns again. “You’re bloody useless in fights unless we give you daggers.”

He doesn’t realise that Jaskier is trying really hard not to laugh until he does exactly that, almost choking on the potato before shaking his head. “Sorry, sorry, just- gods, you witchers are so adorable.”

“Adorable?” Lambert echoes incredulously, seemingly destined to frown for the entire evening. “Like f-”

“Jaskier!”

“Fabiann! It’s been too long!”

Lambert grumbles under his breath but tunes out their mindless flirting out until Jaskier abruptly stands and coughs pointedly. “Lambert, I’m afraid I might need to leave for a little while.”

What?

Oh.

It doesn’t exactly take a genius to figure out that for some reason, simply talking to someone is apparently far too appealing for Jaskier to handle.

“We leave at dawn,” Lambert reminds him.

Jaskier blows him a kiss before grinning and leaving with Fabiann. Sighing, Lambert turns back to his plate only to find that he doesn’t have any potatoes left. For some reason, that annoys him far more than the bard’s departure.

He ends up turning in early but the other patrons are too loud and he hates every second of each minute that passes. That is, until the door to his room opens and lets in not only the one person who won’t be punched for entering without knocking but also the soft scent of lavender.

“Are you still awake?” Jaskier whispers.

After a moment, he hears Jaskier sigh before the bed gently dips behind him and one of Jaskier’s arms settles on his waist.

“I’m sorry for leaving,” Jaskier murmurs into his skin, shifting even closer.

Only because Lambert can’t stand the subtle guilt in the air - they’ve talked about this but the bard stubbornly refuses to continue feeling bad - does he place his hand over Jaskier’s and feign a yawn. “Shut up, Jaskier.”

“Adorable,” Jaskier replies, kissing the back of his neck before pulling the blanket further onto them both and proving that okay, maybe he can accept that adjective under very specific circumstances.

-

4 - Vesemir  

Vesemir can never understand why Jaskier loves Kaer Morhen so much.

He loves the place more than anything himself, of course he does, but there’s always a lingering bitterness in each room, a lingering reminder that the walls had once been witness to pain and sorrow and heartbreak.

Jaskier doesn’t see any of it.

Instead, he fills any room he walks into with music and smiles and displays of affection that Vesemir hasn’t seen witchers indulge in for decades. It takes a few visits but soon enough, he’s on the receiving end of those displays as well and it's just as beautiful as it is surprising.

He finds himself loving the keep more when everyone smells of happiness and training sessions are filled with laughter instead of grumpy insults but those are aspects of life that he’s almost certain only a witcher can appreciate and as far as he knows, which is pretty far thank you very much, Jaskier is not a witcher.

“Who stole my salts?” said bard yells, jolting him out of his musings, “I know you can all hear me! Give me back my salts, you handsome thieves!”

Vesemir chuckles to himself as he hears the telltale sound of Jaskier running through the halls, no doubt going to fail in locating his bath salts because he’s almost sure he smelt them in the springs yesterday. He goes back to reading, ignoring the general noise of Jaskier hunting the others down in the name of bathing justice until the bard bursts into the library, flushed and breathless.

He looks almost guilty as he spots Vesemir. “Apologies, Vesemir, I didn’t mean to intrude. I was merely- well, you most likely heard everything, right?”

When he nods, Jaskier glances around again, a small grin blooming on his face. “Does that window overlook any training grounds perchance?”

Vesemir sighs. “No, you cannot attempt to throw something at them from the window.”

Jaskier has the audacity to pout but judges his tone well enough, making his way over to the window anyway. It’s only when the unmistakable scent of arousal appears that Vesemir somewhat regrets his decision; he looks over to Jaskier, who seems torn between wanting to flee out of embarrassment and wanting to continue staring out of the window for the rest of the day.

“I- I don’t really have an explanation for this but uh, witchers?” Jaskier manages, gesturing outside to where Vesemir knows the other three are probably mid-brawl.

“All I wanted was to read in peace, Jaskier.” Vesemir pinches the bridge of his nose, closing the book.

Nodding quickly, Jaskier places a hand over his chest. “I swear I won’t even think of entering the library for… for a whole week! Yeah, I can do that, I’ll make sure to stay as far as possible for as long as you like but just um, could you maybe not hold this against me, please?”

Vesemir wants to explain that he couldn’t possibly hold Jaskier loving his boys against him but he’s pretty sure Jaskier knows that and is just nervously rambling so he walks over and gently claps the bard on the back of his head. “As long as you’re not stupid enough to jump into a fight just because you’re attracted to it.”

“No promises,” Jaskier replies, winking.

-

5 - Kaer Morhen

Kaer Morhen can never shut its doors to Jaskier.

And really, none of the resident witchers would want to do anything of the sort since they love bringing their bard home for the winter and they love having a non-witcher around because he brings comfort with him. Unfortunately, he also sometimes brings about immense exasperation.

Nobody’s complaining, of course, because they’d rather die than disrespect one of the few people so openly welcome at the keep, but that doesn’t stop them from sometimes needing to walk out of the room to avoid punching something or someone.

Naturally, a bunch of wolf witchers walking out of the room wherever Jaskier confuses them is utterly hilarious to anyone else who visit.

Especially Aiden.

He and Jaskier get on remarkably well, much to Lambert’s relief, and it only ever takes a few days for the rest of them to get used to the scent of Cat once again. They never get used to the way the two of them interact though, trading words at rather worryingly high speeds. It’s usually not a bother until Aiden starts showing off his swordsmanship.

“Wait, you’ve never done that last one before!” Jaskier exclaims, closing his journal as he leans forward, his eyes wide.

Aiden grins. “Glad you noticed, I learnt it last season.”

Lambert throws an apple at him, scoffing. Aiden simply catches it, taking a bite before throwing it to Jaskier, who may or may not loudly yelp as he receives it.

“Show off,” Lambert grumbles, folding his arms.

Taking a moment to bow, Aiden turns back to Jaskier. “Want to see the rest of my sword tricks?”

Jaskier chokes on the bite he’d taken of the apple but nods even as he coughs, ignoring the concerned looks he gets from the wolves. He gets about halfway into the apple before Aiden’s movements are just a little too smooth and intricate for his heart to handle. Well, not just his heart.

“For gods’ sake, Jaskier,” Geralt mutters, swiftly standing up and making his way out of the room.

“I’m not to blame here!” Jaskier calls, trying his best not to think about everything he’s practically being baited into thinking about.

Eskel is the next to sigh. “You think too loudly sometimes.”

Aiden watches in utter bewilderment as both he and Lambert make their exit too, the two of them grumbling about wanting to eat in peace. He turns to Jaskier with one eyebrow raised.

“They’re not fond of when I smell like sex to them,” Jaskier explains sheepishly, “and I’m pretty sure it’s a wolf thing.”

There’s a slight pause before Aiden nods slowly. “That explains a lot actually. Why didn’t I pick up on that while travelling with Lam?”

Jaskier’s not sure if that’s meant to be a rhetorical question or not so he takes a chance. “I’d be surprised if you did, they feel bad about it so they act as if they’re allergic to discussing it.”

Then something seems to occur to Aiden and his eyes widen comically. “Wait, all the wolves?”

Catching on immediately, Jaskier goes red. “I’ll have you know, Vesemir was somehow the easiest to communicate with about all this.”

“You’re crazy,” Aiden laughs, bounding over and taking the apple back despite Jaskier’s half-hearted protests even as he decides to respect the bard just a little bit more.

-

+1

Jaskier can never guess when he’s going to have a crisis.

He wishes he had some witcher-like ability to detect trouble before it arrives but alas, he doesn’t. He doesn’t have the power to stop himself panicking and he doesn't have the power to prepare for every possibility and he doesn’t even have his witchers and by the gods does he yearn for their presence.

But he’s not selfish, he isn’t going to ask them to accompany him to bardic competitions because a city full of bards being bards is most definitely too overwhelming for them. He’s sure they’re more than happy killing drowners and bruxae and wraiths and who knows what else wherever they are but he’s certainly not happy.

Although that’s a lie, of course he is.

He loves being around his fellow bards - some more than others, of course - and he loves that they can effortlessly switch between discussing chords, sharing the latest court scandals, and making fun of one another’s love lives. What he doesn’t love, however, is being alone at the end of every day.

“I hate this room,” he mutters to himself as he flops onto the bed.

“No you don’t,” Geralt says quietly.

Jaskier is loath to admit that he jumps so badly he literally falls off the bed.

“There’s that grace and dignity we all love,” Eskel teases.

“What the he--eyy!” Jaskier manages as Lambert all but tackles him, sending them both back to the floor he’d just picked himself up from. Neither of them move to get up though.

“There is a perfectly adequate bed right beside us, if you would kindly give me a moment to recover from your pleasant but wholly unexpected arrival!”

He hears Geralt and Eskel laugh and the next thing he knows, he’s sandwiched between three witchers on the bed that’s mercifully large enough to accommodate all four of them. He’s almost entirely certain Priscilla had something to do with that upgrade and makes a mental note to thank her later.

“You smell sad,” Geralt says eventually, frowning.

Jaskier sighs. “I’m not sad, my dear, I’m just worried that three of you won’t enjoy your stay here, what with all the… bardic watermelon.”

Eskel’s arm around his waist tightens. “We don’t mind if you don’t mind.”

Jaskier’s face scrunches up as he tries to make sense of that and Lambert, who’s curled up in front of him, snorts. “You’re gonna give yourself wrinkles.”

“Take that back, I am not!” Jaskier argues, pouting. Before he can be totally distracted, he manages to turn his entire body around so he’s now facing Eskel and Geralt. “Are you going to explain what I’m meant to be minding?”

Surprisingly, Geralt finds his words first. “Just that… that we can’t always help you. We can’t be what you need or what you want and-”

“I am going to stop you right there before I end up punching you,” Jaskier interrupts, his voice a strange mix of cold and loving.

“It wouldn’t hurt,” Lambert supplies reassuringly, now from behind him.

Jaskier groans, butting his head against Eskel’s in frustration. Not even particularly hard but Eskel looks so confused that Jaskier ends up wiggling out of their cuddle pile and glaring at three of them when they sheepishly sit up.

“Did the lot of you trade all your marbles to get here?” he asks, folding his arms.

Lambert opens his mouth to reply but Eskel clamps a hand over it, correctly assuming that they’re not meant to answer that.

“I won’t lie and tell you I’ll only say this once because I will gladly repeat it whenever any of you act like you’ve forgotten but, my loves, I do not care. I do not care if you don’t enjoy all the same things I do and I do not care if your desires are different to mine. The only thing - and you must believe me for I would never ever lie about this - that I truly care about is you. All three of you.”

“But we don’t always know how to take care of you,” Geralt whispers, his voice filled with enough emotion to rival half of Jaskier’s ballads.

“Don’t you?” Jaskier asks, tilting his head to the left. “Tell me this, Geralt: why are you here?”

“You don’t like being alone after important performances,” Geralt replies without missing a beat.

Jaskier grins at him before turning to Eskel. “And you?”

“You deserve to have our support,” Eskel says softly, as if it were a common truth.

Lambert shrugs when Jaskier turns to him. “Why would I let you get drunk alone?”

Waiting until they’re done being amused, Jaskier glances between the three of them. “Don’t you see? You already know exactly how and when to take care of me. I can manage what little you can’t and I am more than happy with that because I am more than happy with you. Each of you. Just as you are. Do you understand?”

“If we say yes, will you stop being so bloody dramatic?” Lambert asks, definitely not swallowing an obvious lump in his throat, definitely not.

“We understand,” Eskel adds before Jaskier can reply, a soft smile on his face.

The four of them settle into their cuddle pile once again, Geralt reaching over Eskel and placing his hand on Jaskier’s waist as he whispers, “Thank you.”

Jaskier wants to laugh because he honestly can't see how his gorgeous, kind-hearted witchers continue to think they're not the most perfect bunch of people on the continent despite the flaws they actually have and the ones they only think they have, and he has no idea why they can't see that if they're lucky to have one of him loving them, he's thrice as lucky to have three of them loving him.

“The pleasure is all mine,” Jaskier whispers back.

-

credit to that one post i can’t find atm about what lust smells like to witchers as well as @cloudspeck for giving me names for minor characters !! also, sorry for the canon divergence / ooc vibes but i just wanted some fluffy ace validation, yaknow? 

-

thanks for reading! masterlist | witcher blog: @itsjaskier

[mashiraostail]

please momnight conent? Like student reader is upset/struggling with the material and goes to her for help or something literally please momnight im begging u

omg u do not have to beg kind anon i am happy to write momnight

“I’m sorry I feel really stupid..” You scrub at your face sitting in front of your teacher, she’s crouched down to eye level, one arm draped across your desk. “I just don’t understand this part at all..” You set your pencil down to use both hands, scrubbing at both of your eyes now.  “Hey come on, don’t say that!” Nemuri squeezes your wrist, “you’ll hurt yourself, just try reading it over again, sometimes that’s all it takes to get it to click.”  “I’m wasting your time, you have way more important things to be doing.” You mutter, “I’m sorry Midnight I think I’m a lost cause.” She lets out a loud gasp at that.  “Don’t say that sort of thing! NO way are you a lost cause!” She closes the book between you, “look at me.”  “I’m embarrassed. I know I’m strong but when it comes to bookish stuff I’m totally useless. You must think I’m an absolute moron-”  “No, I think Present Mic is a total moron.” She rests her chin in her hand as you finally look at her, chuckling to yourself over her jab at your English teacher.  “There we go. A little smile helps you feel much better huh?” She nudges your calf underneath the desk, you nod meekly.  “And anyways... I don’t think you’re a moron, I think you’re a kid. A student with a lot to learn. But you’re learning, even if its hard. Honestly, that's commendable, if this doesn’t come naturally to you putting in all the work to still do well is admirable, you don’t have to be the best you just have to do your best.”  “But I-” “No buts.” She frowns, “don’t talk back to your teacher.”  “Ow did you just pinch me- stop!” You pull your legs up into your chair as her attack on your leg continues.  “No one is good at everything. And yes I mean no one. Not a single person.”  “Well... what about All Might?” As soon as you finish she’s rolling her eyes. “He can’t even make a cup of coffee, and he’s never sent me a text that doesn’t have some sort of spelling error.”  “Principal Nezu?”  “He’s not a person he doesn’t count.”  You snort at that and rest your chin against your bent knees. “Well what about you? It sure seems like your good at everything...” You hug your legs to your chest and she pricks up a bit as you continue, “I just wanna be like you. You’re strong and smart and everyone likes you and you’re reliable and even if people underestimate you you always prove them wrong, even when you aren’t in the spotlight you’re doing the most to help...I... I wanna be like that, I wanna be just like you Miss Kayama.”  “Oh god I...I think I’m gonna cry.” She sucks in a deep breath. “What? Why would you do that dont-! Don’t cry!” You fumble as she sits back on her haunches.  “Well then don’t be such a little cherub!” She argues and then sighs, “look, I’ll be honest with you okay?” She reaches out and takes your hand, “it’s a really long time coming. Three years is a lot longer than it seems, and you’ve got a lot to learn. But you’re right, you are strong, and you are smart, smarter than you think.” She promises as she rests her chin on your desk, “even by coming to me for help you’ve proven how much you want this, how much you care about getting to your destination and..you know between you and I..you really do remind me of myself when I was your age.” She sighs wistfully and you grin at her, “yes you do, we’re practically spitting images of each other.”  “Shut up Midnight.” You chortle, unfolding your legs. “Ouch! What happened to Miss Kayama?!”” She pouts, picking her head up, “I’ll report you for insubordinance.”  “No you won’t.” You cheese at her and she shrugs, waving her hand.  “Ehhhh, yeah I guess you’re right. I won’t. especially not after you said you think I’m perfect.”  “Well are you or aren’t you?”  “Hm...I’d like to think I am.” She taps her bottom lip with her free hand and you snort, “though Mic says I have a terrible music taste, and Eraser says my sense of humor is shot...once Vlad told me I’m the worst driver he’s ever had the displeasure of accompanying on a grocery run, All Might says I’ve got one of the messiest cars he’s ever seen...oh Hound Dog also told me once that I make the worst cup of coffee on the planet and Cementoss agreed with him. But those are just opinions and they’re subjective so I’m...subjecting them to the trash.”  “I don’t think that’s how constructive criticism is meant to work.” You grin at the thought of her fellow teachers digging into her though.  “Ehhh..you say tomato..” She waves it off and then piques, “now I’ve got a question.” “if it’s about this material then sorry because I’m really shot for-”  “No, no. You really want to be like me?”  You flush, you can feel it in your ears, you murmur, “...yes...”  “I’m sorry I couldn’t hear you-”  “Yes!” You shout it a little louder than intended but she’s just laughing. “Really? Me?” I didn’t think I was exactly childhood role-model material.”  “That’s why I liked you..” You pluck at the fabric of your shirt, “everyone always wrote you off, but you always came through in the end, you always proved you were a lot more than your branding. I thought it was cool...that you didn’t try to be one dimensional, that you could be pretty and strong and smart.” You look up at her, “everyone likes you, everyone relies on you. I want to be that sort of strong. Forget picking up cars, forget punching in villains..I want people to need me like they need you. Like I need you.”  “Wow, I’m really gonna cry.”  “I told you don’t cry!” You snap, “you’re embarrassing me.” You cross your arms and she gasps. “You’re the one who went on the wild tangent!” Her laughter fizzles out and she stands, “come on.” She offers you a hand, “I think you get to call it for the afternoon, you’re probably the last student left here.”  You let her pull you out of your seat, she wraps an arm around you and squeezes you into her side, “how about an extra day to work on the assignment?”  “Are you playing favorites?” You ask her wearily.  “No. If someone else needs an extra day all they need to do is ask.” She hums, “try rereading the chapter tonight, and writing a summary of it. Give that to me tomorrow and I’ll let you know if you’re on the right track.”  “What if I’m not?” You gnaw at your lip nervously. “That’s what I’m here for, duh. Now let me walk you back to the dorms.” 

[prose-for-hire]

Clueless

Pairing: Angel x reader

Request: As I said, Spike will always be my favorite, but every now and then you gotta mix it up. 😅 So here comes my Angel request! 😀 The scoobies find out he has a human girlfriend. And when they meet you they get the impression that you have no idea of the supernatural. So they try to subtly prod if you're aware of what Angel is. You on the other hand are enjoying to play with them. Pretending to be clueless as hell even though you're well aware. 😂 Thank you Darling! 💞

Requested by: @kind-wolf​

A/N: I really enjoyed this one !! Reader is older than the Scoobies and works in the school library. The timescale is reaaally made up. Giles left to open the Magic Box while the Scoobies are still in high school.

[Also i know the gif has nothing to do with anything but it makes me giggle every time so I had to use it !!]

You were the new School librarian. Giles had left to open the Magic Box but still always managed to be in your library when you turned around. The excuse at the moment was that his personal collection had been left behind, but you new there was something more going on. You had a boyfriend that told you of the real side of Sunnydale.

His name was Angel. You had met him after dark, a shining ember amongst all of the despair. He was kind to you and you had kept running into each other until he decided it must be fate. So he asked you on a date. It was the Bronze and you both stuck out like a sore thumb – him for his dark clothing and because you were both slightly older than the regular clientele. You and Angel had been going steady for a while now. He was heavy into courting and doing everything properly. He wanted to keep you happy and ensure you felt safe with him at all times.

He called you his sunshine. You were the one thing that made his un-life worth living. The brightness in the centuries of black. The fiery flame of passion that could never be put out. You were his light. A kind of salvation he didn’t know he needed. All of his guilt. The doubt. The brooding about whether he was enough for you, for the world. For any of it. You filled in these cracks with light. With love and the most important thing: hope.

He knew that he needed to limit the amount of people that knew about you together to a minimum. You hadn’t understood why at first, but one evening when you had been wrapped around each other in bed, he confided in you. His relationships were not destined to last. Literally. He told you everything, almost reducing the both of you to an emotional mess. You laid there, underneath the sheets as you both recounted the worst moments of your lives. The secrets, the fears. Everything.

“Are you embarrassed about dating a human? Is it frowned upon in vampire… culture?” You asked, half embarrassed and half fascinated. He shook his head as you were still speaking, clasping a hand to yours and brought it to his unbeating heart.

“I, uh, just want this for us. You’re too special to me, y/n. I don’t want anyone else to ruin it. I love you more than you can imagine”

“You love me?” You ask, eyes shining with emotion. He nodded, pulling you into him as you told him how much you loved him back. Your voice muffled as you rested in the crook of his neck. He held you to him so delicately as if he was scared that you would break. That if he didn’t hold tight enough, you would disappear into nothing.

The Scoobies had caught glimpses of you around school and sometimes after school when you popped into the magic Box to ask to speak with Giles. Just to ask for tips on your new job in the library (and to check if he had stolen any of the dusty occult books you had started to lock away in case he was snooping again). You didn’t really know the Scoobies, you just recognised their faces from around school and now obviously you had heard the lowdown from Angel. But you weren’t so familiar that you could tell which one the slayer was if you were asked to pick her out of a line up.

One afternoon after you called your goodbyes to Giles and nodded at the teenagers on your way out of the store, talk quickly turned to you. Anya, Xander, Willow, Buffy and Cordelia were all whispering before the door had even closed properly behind you. The Scoobies loved to gossip. And each of them had their own titbit of information that they had heard from someone who had heard from someone else about you. Even Giles had become involved in the discussion as he had started to become aware you were making his life difficult and

“I heard they mastered kung-fu judo which is the most lethal form of martial arts”

“Apparently they were fired from their last school for literally throwing students out for talking too loud in the library”

“Well, they’re apparently an undercover agent planted by the CIA to monitor the supernatural”

“I heard that one – but they’re FBI, not CIA”

The piece of information they found most interesting was that you were human. Despite being the coolest librarian like, ever. Most of the librarians the student body had come across were positively fossils, most recent librarians not included. Suspected kung fu martial arts hybrid training aside, you didn’t have any supernatural powers to speak of. As far as anyone was aware. So, this became the most interesting thing about you, until Cordelia told all.

“They’re totally sleeping with Angel!” Cordelia said, as everyone looked extremely interested in this news, “I saw him open a door for them as if they were in some period drama! Way over the top but their eyes said everything! They’re having sex”

“You can’t tell that from a look”

“You can!” Anya insisted as Cordelia nodded along.

“Yeah, I can tell from hot librarian and the salty goodness that is Angel” Cordelia replied matter-of-factly.

“Do you think they know he’s-” Xander mimed fangs and held his hands up to imitate a vampire, “They can’t know. Why would anyone want to do that with Angel?” Xander insisted as the women of the room, and Giles, stayed silent. He looked around looking for some support for his statement but got nothing.

But now the fact was, they were concerned that Angel hadn’t told you about himself. The vampirism. The soul. The curse. So, the meddling kids decided it was their duty to make sure that they were acquainted with you and made sure you knew who Angel really was. Which was exactly what Angel presumed was going to happen. They were convinced that they were worried about how clueless you obviously were, but also it was their duty is seemed to get involved in other people’s personal lives.

This had been the plan, but it appeared that you were a very busy. You never stayed long hours after the school day ended like Giles used to. Nobody could follow you home because you always sped off in a shiny car. Plus, you often wore headphones in the corridors so you didn’t have to talk to the students.

It had been a while after their plans to befriend you and they had almost given up seeing you in your private time. They wanted to make sure the rumours weren’t true. That Angel wasn’t taking advantage of some clueless human.

Unfortunately, the whole gang stumble into you both while they’re on patrol. On date night. their eyes widen, it looks so normal. You’re both sat in the restaurant in the window seat and they all just stopped and very obviously stared. As if you were zoo animals. They noticed that Angel had ordered human food and had been moving it around the plate a little for appearances. This confirmed it. they decided they needed to save you. Who knew what horrible bad luck would befall you if you kept dating a vampire. 

Angel looked a little embarrassed when he sensed being watched and looked up to see none other than the people he had wanted to keep this from. Buffy had scowled at him, shaking her head. She wasn’t impressed that he would do this. Especially if you didn’t know – it wasn’t fair she decided. You noticed his look but didn’t comment until the group had walked past with their wooden stakes badly concealed under their jackets.

After your meal, you walk back together (he always insists on walking you to your car) and you softly ask why he was embarrassed. You wondered if it was because you were a librarian. You tell him you know people don’t think it’s a great job, but you really enjoy it.

“They just don’t think us being together is a great idea” He said and you nodded along. You understood. There was a history there. The Slayer obviously is the only one that makes and breaks the rules.

“Well lets introduce them to me properly?” You offer, trying to soothe him. Reduce the fretting. He had wanted just one thing. One good thing that was yours and his. “I know they’ve been trying to talk to me all week. I’ll make some lemonade and you can invite them over” You offer. He nodded, curling an arm around you as you walk together both in thought.

It had been a week and the day was finally here. You were meeting the... friends? Weird kind-of family? Annoying brats that were always under both of your feet? 

Angel had gone out to pick up some blood from the butchers before it closed now that the sun was down. This left you hosting solo for the moment. You showed them to Angel’s living room and started to offer them lemonade and snacks. They start dropping hints instantly to try and gauge whether you know about Slayers or vampires. For some reason, you decide to play dumb.

“Have you, uh, ever seen Angel’s teeth up close?” Willow asked, barely above a whisper.

“Yes, we do kiss if that’s what you’re asking sweetie. Don’t worry, I’m sure you’ll have your first kiss soon” You smiled at her mock-sympathetically as you turned to the rest of the room.

“What about, ah, those specialist books I told you about, y/n? Have you read them as of late?” Giles questioned, his hint much craftier than the younger members of the group. The books had been vampire history and very specifically passages were highlighted about Angels past.

“Oh yes, Angel said he would give me the overview - he’s read them before” You smile as Giles shook his head and started to clean his glasses. This wasn’t a lie, Angel had told you instead of reading through that book he would tell you anything that yo uwanted to ask. Every gruesome detail if that was what you needed. But you had told him you cared for the person you knew now instead. “Isn’t he just the perfect man?” You continue, smiling dreamily (which if you’re honest isn’t even an act). 

“Man isn’t the word I’d use” Xander muttered and Buffy had to elbow him to make him be quiet. You frowned, but they didn’t realise that you had caught onto what they were doing. Angel entered and the room quietened. He nodded at everyone but came straight to sit beside you.

You sat comfortably, leaning against Angel as chatter started to warm up a little again. After a while, there was a bit of doubt from some in the room whether meddling was the right thing to do or not. You appeared friendly and you definitely cared about Angel. And he definitely cared for you. His eye was always on you and he had kissed your forehead more than once when he thought the others were wrapped up in conversation.

“Do you like Halloween? What about vam-” Cordelia was cut off as she yelped and scowled as someone had stepped on her toes to get her to be quiet. Especially after he had already said something himself that could have made things obvious. You and Angel shared a look and then a shrug as conversation started up again.

You excused yourself to make more lemonade after three more not-so-subtle-hints about your man’s true identity and Angel followed you. Meanwhile, they were whispering about how clueless you appeared and how familiar you both were in front of them – as if you were going to hide that you were in a committed relationship. You knew this as Angel was telling you everything that they said, between light kisses he was pressing against your neck. From your position pressed between his body and the kitchen counter you were grinning as you rested a hand against his side and used the other to lock your hand with his. He hummed softly, only able to get through this strange indirect interrogation was that he knew he always had you.

When you returned and offered everyone refills, one of them asked while you were pouring, “Does, uh, Angel like garlic bread?”

“You might have to ask him on that one, we’re still getting to know each other” you smile sweetly before catching Angel’s eye. He raised his eyes at you but didn’t say anything to ruin the fun. In fact, he had a glint in his eye too. This was the reason he loved you, you turned even a potentially serious situation with the Slayer into something that you could make fun.

 “Uh, have you ever seen Angel in the light?” the questioning continued.

“Have you seen his face? He’s beautiful in any lighting” You smiled sweetly, looking over at him again. He shook his head at you and you knew he’d be blushing if he had any circulation.

“Yeah but- in the daylight?”

“No, he has a sun allergy, isn’t that right sweetie?” You smiled around the room at their horrified faces. They knew it! They knew Angel had been lying, they just needed to find a way to break the news to you. Or warn him away from you.

When asked about his (and your) sleeping habits, you replied, “Some nights he’s dead to the world” You smile, “He sleeps really deep, sometimes I have to check on him – it looks like he isn’t breathing” You have to stifle a laugh at this one as Angel snorts out loud. It was awkwardly covered by a cough and he had to leave the room to hide his laughter.

He was happy with you, the only sunshine he wasn’t allergic to apparently. He was so happy in this relationship he was often worried that Angelus was only around the corner. You caught him stuck in his head, worrying about the what-ifs but you always offered your comfort any way you could. He was glad of you being there for him. Willow and Giles had been talking of working on a way to lift the curse, or at least make it so that it wasn’t so simple for him to change back into Angelus. That was the last thing any of them needed.

The evening started to darken further and conversation had started to lull. You were trying to think of a way to politely hint yourself that maybe it was time for them to go (your hints a lot more subtle and well-practiced than theirs). But before you had chance to open your mouth, you were interrupted, “Demons. Thoughts?” Anya asked bluntly. Nobody cut in this time, they wanted to hear your response now they suspected Angel was lying.

“The ones that creep in late at night when you’re trying to sleep? I try and just ignore them, or get a book to read if I really can’t sleep” You say smiling as you knew Angel had heard that one too when some plates clattered in the other room. You knew him inside out and, although rare, when something like this tickled him it really made him smile. You just wished he had been in the room so you could see his expression. His face lightened when he smiled and you told him all the time his smile was your favourite feature of his. He would also probably be shaking his head at you, trying to discourage you from getting into too much trouble with them.

Angel returned to the room and you couldn’t help yourself. You stood up and instantly closed the space between you. You looped your arms around his neck and kissed him softly on the lips. It was only a lingering peck, nothing too scandalous as these were students at your job. You always missed him when he wasn’t close by. You felt like a lovestruck teenager when he was around and admittedly, so did he. Giles saw the way you both looked at each other. Moved around each other, anticipating  and saw how real it was. It was the same he had with Jenny. He couldn’t let the rest of the group ruin this kind of love. It was rare and he wouldn’t wish it on anyone to lose it (not even the man with the face that tore his from him).

Giles shook his head as Buffy was about to shout something to break you both apart. Something about demons and vampires. About Angel and evil. His apparent lying. To try and warn you. She closed her mouth, rolling her eyes.

 “We need to go patrol- uh, not patrolling, just – walking. At night” She muttered instead, taking her jacket and giving Angel a hard stare.

“Make sure you watch out for vampires. There’s a couple extra stakes in the weapon’s closet if you’d like to take them” You smile sweetly, “You can never be too careful, some bite” you teased before kissing Angel on the cheek and reluctantly moving from his arms which were loosely looped around your waist still. You started walking over to clear the coffee table from the glasses everyone had used when they visited. Leaving the others wide-eyed and eventually laughing at the way you had kept up the pretence so well.

[nostalgiahan]

Still Into You

genre: songfic, fluff, smut

pairing: graffiti artist!changbin x afab!reader (gender-neutral language)

word count: 2k

warnings: drug use (cannabis,) trespassing, oral sex (f,) car sex, little dialogue, changbin and reader run from the cops lol

a/n: i was listening to still into you by paramore and this just kinda. came into existence. it’s also very song focused so if you’ve never listened to 2000s alt rock... i’m sorry lmao. the sugarmill in the story is also a real place that my friends and i used to visit and smoke take pictures at, although the cops never found us there haha. anyways enjoy folks.

Your nails had been tapping on the windowsill enough to wear them down to nubs by the time Changbin pulled up in front of your house. When his beat up Subaru pulled up next to the curb, you just about jumped out of your skin from excitement. Today was your fourth anniversary, as well as Valentine’s Day, and the adrenaline rushing through your blood was a sign that you were more than looking forward to whatever fun plans he had up his sleeve.

Compared to most couples on Valentine’s day, your outfit was pretty plain and not at all glamorous. Practical boots, jeans, an old band hoodie and Changbin’s dark green parka were your clothes of choice, but you knew that your boyfriend wasn’t going to take you to some fancy restaurant. No, you two were going adventuring.

As soon as you hop in the passenger seat of the car, shoving a couple of receipts into the foot well, Changbin reaches into his hoodie pocket and gives you a card. It’s crude, made of a folded sheet of printer paper and hastily scribbled on in pen but it’s very fitting for him.

“You better enjoy the card,” he says with a smirk, “because it came to me in a dream. This is pure, undiluted Changbin, packaged for your enjoyment and convenience.”

Giggling, you open the card. Inside is a barely legible “i love you so much y/n” surrounded by hearts, and in the corner is a drawing of a cow dressed in a lab coat and holding a beaker labeled “Moorie Curie.” It’s perfect, but what else did you expect from him?

“Happy anniversary, my love.” When you look up at Changbin, he has the widest smile on his face, cheeks dotted with flecks of paint and eyes crinkled up into little crescents. He’s dressed similarly to you, hair sitting in a pile on top of his head, clearly not having been paid attention to before leaving the house. It doesn’t matter, though, since the both of you will be wearing hoods over your heads anyways. You lean over the center console to give him a quick kiss, although it takes a couple of tries to get his lips since you’re both smiling so hard.

Changbin kicks his old car into gear as he sets off towards his destination. He’s explaining where you’re going, but you can barely hear him over the car speakers blasting Simple Plan and Green Day.

“So yeah, it’s this sugarmill that caught on fire in, like, 1910, and they never renovated it. There’s a bunch of cool abandoned shit around there, too. I think there’s, like, three fucked up couches.”

As you listen to him talk, you stick your fingers through the gap at the top of the side window. It’s permanently cracked open like that, and you have vivid memories of trying to throw cigarette butts through the gap when the two of you were bored.

After a while of listening to pop punk and playing with Changbin’s fingers over the gear shift, you arrive at your destination. Several charred brick buildings sit in the middle of a field, dead trees framing an open area in the center where someone has set up some logs and rocks to form a makeshift circle. Your boyfriend’s eyes scan the landscape, looking for his next canvas. Eventually, he tugs your arm and leads you towards one of the buildings, smiling back at you. “C’mon, let’s go explore this place.”

The two of you wander for a while, over rickety walkways and up staircases, taking pictures with your Polaroid and holding hands the whole time. Eventually, Changbin finds a stretch of wall big enough to start his work. Setting his duffel bag on the ground, he beckons you over and crouches down, inviting you to hop onto his back.

He pulls out a can of white spray paint, shaking it and popping the cap with his thumb. As he starts to paint, making large, sweeping motions with his arms, you really wished he had worn something sleeveless, however impractical. After lighting a slightly crushed joint you’d fished out of your pocket, you nestled your nose into his shoulder, holding the joint up to Changbin’s lips. He takes a few pulls as he works, the previously bland wall turning into a beautiful blend of blues, purples, and whites. It’s always fascinating to see how he works, seemingly not thinking before laying down a line of paint, yet each stroke seems to perfectly fit in with the others.

As he’s switching colors, Changbin lets you off his back, settling his hands on your sides. He stares at you for a bit, trying to study every bit of your face that isn’t covered by the oversized hood of his jacket. After a while, he smiles, pulling you close and kissing your forehead. Changbin always called you his muse, but you never expected him to take it as literally as he did, often staring at you or asking unrelated questions when he was stuck with a piece. He sways gently back and forth, pressing little kisses to your head, as Good Charlotte emanates from the tiny phone speaker in his back pocket. Occasionally, he’ll pull back just a tiny bit to really study your face, kissing you softly and muttering something along the lines of “i really can’t believe how fucking incredible you are” or “i love you so much it’s unreal.”

It’s not until a few more songs have ended that he pulls away, inviting you back onto his back as you light another joint. The piece is almost done, the tag “SPEARB” painted in blobby letters, shining artificially. All he has left is the outline, but his work is cut short when you hear the faint sound of sirens approaching and the light creeping in from the broken windows flashes a faint red and blue.

What happens next is like clockwork. You hop off of Changbin’s back, putting out the joint on the wall and throwing it into his duffel bag along with the other cans of paint he’s left out. What you’re supposed to do next is grab the bag and run, but Changbin is trying his best to finish a really specific detail and the more time he has that can in his hand, the less time you guys have to get the fuck out. After what seems like an eternity of whisper-yelling and (gently) stomping your foot at him, he caps the can and throws it into the bag. Finally, the two of you are off. As he’s picking up the bag, however, you notice what he was taking so long to finish. In tiny lettering, in the bottom corner of the piece, 4 words. “fuck cops” on one line, and “for y/n” on another.

As the two of you clamber over wooden planks and piping, pulling your hoods over your heads and your masks over your faces to hide your identities, Changbin grabs your hand and squeezes. He lets go almost as quickly as he grabbed it but the sentiment is still there; i’m here, i’m gonna keep us safe. It’s a welcome sentiment when shouts of “police,” and “show yourselves” echo through the abandoned hall.

Fifteen minutes of running and one chain link fence climb later, you’re back at the car, cops nowhere in sight. You’re panting heavily as you throw off the parka and throw it into the backseat, and Changbin doesn’t look any better as he’s gulping water and fanning his face. Right as you’re about to climb in, he grabs your arm and spins you so you’re pressed between him and the car, holding your cheeks in his hands and grinning at you.

“God. Fuck. Wow. You’re unreal. I love you so much.”

You’re unable to do anything but nod. The two of you are still breathless and in that moment you realize that’s what your love was like. In the four years of you dating, your love never went stale, you never settled into a routine. You were always doing new things, like going on spur of the moment road trips or fucking around at playgrounds in the early hours of the morning. You never thought about the future, just did your best to enjoy your time in the present and bask in the glow of each other’s affection. You expected that after such a long time together you’d at least feel a little duller, but everything still feels as fresh and new as when you were teenagers and sneaking out to make out on park benches when no one was looking.

As you’re lost in thought, Changbin pulls you impossibly closer and presses his lips to yours, hard. Music is still playing from his phone as the kiss becomes more heated, and you make sure to add 1985 by Bowling for Soup to your “running from the cops” playlist later. Almost every memory you have with Changbin is attached to a song, and this one is no exception.

Changbin pulls away to wrench open the back seat door, guiding you to sit and kneeling on the dirty floor. He heaves the duffel bag on the seat next to you and you dig through it, searching for the joint you threw into it earlier. Once you’ve gotten to My Own Worst Enemy, you’ve lit it and Changbin has gotten your jeans halfway down your legs and your thighs over his shoulders.

Your boyfriend wastes no time in burying his face in your heat, licking hot stripes up and down and moaning loudly into your core. He pulls away to rest his head on your thigh and take a few puffs of the joint, and in that moment you remember your Polaroid exists and manage to snap a picture of him blowing out smoke, with your hand in his hair and his face squished between your legs.

Changbin pays it no mind and gets straight back to work, sucking on your clit and easing his tongue into your hole. Your grip on his hair tightens and you arch into his mouth, fucking yourself back on his tongue. Picking up on this, he hooks his arms under your thighs and pulls your towards him, close enough that you’re afraid he’s going to suffocate himself trying to pleasure you.

It’s hot and sticky and perfect, and the atmosphere combined with the weed and the fact that Seo fucking Changbin is eating you out is too much for you and you cum all over his tongue, which eagerly laps up your release, taking long, languid strokes to make sure he gets every drop. As you come down, Changbin is stroking your thighs and sucking hickeys into the soft flesh, and you register that Misery Business needs to be added to your “dirty car sex” playlist.

After basking in the yellow glow of the car’s overhead light and the thrilling afterglow of just having done something you shouldn’t have for a while, lazily finishing off the rest of your joint, the two of you get your things in order and begin the journey to Changbin’s apartment, speeding down the highway with the windows cracked the whole way. He carries you into the building like he always does, setting you down gently on the couch before heading off to the kitchen so you can make some blueberry muffins together. You do, and they’re terrible, so you heat up leftovers instead and watch reruns of old James Bond movies, cuddling on the couch. The night ends with Chasing Cars and you laying on Changbin’s chest, naked and sweaty and anticipating lots of aches in the morning, whispering tiny i love yous into each others’ skin and it’s perfect. But everything is always perfect with him. What else could you possibly expect?

please let me know if you guys enjoyed this!! feel free to send an ask, i always love receiving them🤌🏻🤌🏻

[chilling-seavey]

Qui Totum Vult Totum Perdit (d.s.) - The Fight

A/N With Hope’s intense google doc analysis of trying to piece together Daniel and Avalon’s fight through his flashbacks, I figured I should give you the real thing!

“Your ignorance is fucking incredible, Daniel James!”

Her words were venomous, punctuated by the slam of the front door the moment we stepped back inside the house. I was still trying to put my wallet in my pocket after paying the taxi driver, showing exactly how quickly she decided to snap back at me after we already endured a terribly tense flight home. Yet, apparently a simple question of “are you okay” was completely disgusting of me to ask.

“You can’t just lose your temper like this every time you get a bit upset, Avalon! I’m just trying to talk to you.” I called as calmly as I could as I set my computer bag on the kitchen island.

She grabbed herself an empty glass from the cupboard and slammed the door shut before turning on the tap aggressively. Her brown eyes glared daggers in my direction over the rim of the glass as she raised it to her lips to take a sip and the diamond ring on her left hand caught the light of the late evening setting sun coming in through the window. Flickers of orange light writhed on the marble countertop between us and died when she lowered her hand out of the incoming rays.

There was a moment of silence as the beginnings of this obvious inevitable fight lingered between us.

“Trying to talk to me?” she repeated my words slowly as she stepped around the island, water glass held in both hands as if she was ready to interrogate me, “Well, gee, Daniel, that’s the first time in days you’ve even bothered.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I frowned.

“You spent most of our honeymoon with your laptop and your goddamn work rather than with me.”

I sighed, “Ava, come on, you know I had to-”

“No! You didn’t have to do anything! The only thing you had to do was relax for the first time in your goddamn life but that was too much to ask, wasn’t it? God…stupid me.” she shook her head in near disbelief, “I thought you might have actually given a shit about me once we got to Costa Rica but apparently, I was wrong.”

A rouge was rising on her sun-tanned cheeks, a clear indication of her true anger she felt, but her accusations weren’t making it easy for me to simply let her have this one. It was a fight we had before and were probably destined to again. It just came with the job.

“Give a shit about you? Avalon, you’re my fucking wife, of course I give a shit about you! You were the one complaining about wanting to leave the entire time. That doesn’t make the trip very fucking enjoyable.”

“You weren’t around me!” she yelled, tapping her hand against the cup in her hand so the sound of her ring against the glass punctuated each of her words. “What person wants to spend their honeymoon alone? Of course, I wanted to go home! I was basically there by myself and I was miserable!”

“I had to get some shit done! Jonah needed me to double check a few things while we were away. It’s not the end of the world and I’m sorry if you feel that way!”

I could see her visibly tense and she turned her head so she didn’t have to look at me, jabbing under her breath, “That’s always your excuse, isn’t it? ‘Always gotta get some shit done’. Well, I’m sick and tired of coming second to your work all the time.”

“Well what do you want me to do?! Do you not like having this house and a nice car and that huge fucking diamond on your finger? Well sorry to break it to you, honey, but without this job, you wouldn’t have any of that!”

“There you go again!” Avalon threw her hand up in my direction, “It’s not all about your fucking money, Daniel! I don’t care about that! I would even be perfectly happy living on the side of the fucking street with you because I love you! None of this other shit that you think is required for a happy and fulfilling life; because – news flash – it’s not!”

“Well it makes me pretty damn happy.”

“Oh really? Are you happy now? Huh? Does this make you fucking happy?”

“Yes! Because at least my house or my car doesn’t spew this fucking bullshit at me all the time!” I yelled back.

Avalon literally scoffed and took a step back, her voice lowered to a steady unimpressed drawl, “You’re a selfish prick, Daniel Seavey. I’m done trying to help you…you’re such a lost cause that…God…sometimes I wish I never married you.”

“Then why did you? If I make you so fucking miserable all the time! Are you that insecure that you’d rather be miserable with me than be alone? You can’t stand yourself either, can you?”

“Fuck you!”

“My brother always told me you were too fucking weak to be my wife…couldn’t handle the baggage that comes with the job.”

“Leave Christian out of this. He doesn’t know bull-fucking-shit about us and especially not about me. Neither of you know how hard it is!”

“It’s not hard, Avalon! You sit here and look pretty and I buy you sparkly things! It’s not fucking hard! You’re just being an obnoxious brat about everything, and you always have!”

“You invalidate my feelings all the time!” she yelled.

“You’re too goddamn sensitive! It’s not a big deal!” I shouted louder to top her.

“God, I fucking hate you!” she huffed. She turned to set the glass angrily on the kitchen counter but it fell and shattered on the kitchen floor between us, silencing our screaming match except for our heavy breaths and Avalon’s sniffled tears.

I sighed at the realization that the whole confrontation went on too far and I tried to reach for her, but she pulled her hand back and moved away from me, “Aves.”

“Don’t.” she snapped.

“Avalon, I’m sorry, I-”

“Sorry doesn’t fix everything.” she retorted sharply, yet I could hear the exhaustion in her voice. “I’m sleeping in the studio tonight.”

I swallowed thickly and nodded, glancing to the ground with a heavy heart, the pieces of broken glass shimmering in the kitchen light between us. She went to step around me but I instinctively reached out a hand to her to keep her back from accidently stepping on any broken glass, “Careful.”

“God, Daniel.” she huffed, “Please don’t.”

I didn’t make a move to stop her as she walked around me to storm across the living room and to the back door. She didn’t look back as she opened the sliding glass door and slipped out into the darkness that the falling night brought. I watched her disappear out of the house and into the backyard, her form fading from view like she had been a figment of my imagination the whole time, the cruelest most perfect kind of dream.

Oh, how I loved her. And I was so, so stupid.

I busied myself in her absence by bringing my laptop bag and our shared suitcase to the master bedroom and rested them against the wall just inside the door. I returned to the kitchen to clean up the broken glass and spilt water, glancing out the back door as if half expecting her to come back inside. I was met with darkness.

I squinted slightly to try and see the light from the backyard studio window but it was still pitch black. Odd. Usually you could see the light from the main house. I brushed it off that she simply went to bed early after such a fight and focussed on the broken glass. I had just crouched down to pick up the worst of it with a steady hand when the pling of the security camera peaked my attention. It rang steady from the monitor’s spot on the front counter and I headed over to it to check on the studio cameras, but the alarm was disarmed from the studio before I could reach it, sending the kitchen back into silence.

My phone buzzed in my pocket at that moment and I pulled it out to read the text from my older brother,

Did you get home okay?

I hesitated as I read his message, not particularly wanting to be honest with him and have to endure his confessions of his dislike of my new wife and her very personable opinions on my job. It was our private relationship and Christian seemed to like to weasel his nose into it sometimes. Ah, well. He meant well. Before I could decide if I wanted to answer him right away or not, I heard a faint scream from the backyard and my head shot up to look towards the sliding glass doors. I paused, expecting Avalon to come running in to ask me to kill a spider any moment now.

But there was nothing.

I pocketed my phone and walked briskly across the main floor of the house, broken glass forgotten, and slipped outside into the warm LA evening. The studio was only a few paces from the back porch and I jumped down the three steps and across the stone tiles to the door. I didn’t bother knocking before I went inside, the darkness that consumed me when I entered already adding more concern to my conscious, and I reached for the light switch blindly.

“Ava? I thought I heard you scream, are you-”

The scene that met my eyes with the flick of the switch had my breath stopping in my throat, my words falling into silence, and my heart dropping into my stomach. Avalon was laying over the rug across the small room, eyes staring blankly into the ceiling, and her throat slit until she was laying in a pool of her own blood.

“Aves.” I breathed shakily, taking a step towards her, then a second, “Avalon, honey…”

She wasn’t moving. I barely made it halfway across the studio but with my back to the door I had entered through, someone came up behind me and grabbed me, slapping their hand over my mouth and holding me down by an arm around my waist. I struggled and tried to get away but they had a good grip on me as they swiped my feet out from under me and took me to the ground. The sharp slam of my head hitting the side of the piano on the way down was the last sound in the room before I blacked out.

Detective Team: @jonahlovescoffee​ @randomlimelightxxx​ @stuffofseaveyy​ @hopinglimelight​ @tempus-ut-luceant​ @br4nd1s​ @xkelsev​ @hiya-its-amber​ @the-girl-who-cried-wolf​

[kaqeyamas]

♡ —  folklore plots.

okay so, i just wanted to take a moment to make sure it’s known that these plots aren’t direct interpretations of the songs on taylor’s new album. they’re just ideas that i came up with based on little pieces of each song, or while listening to it!

The 1

give me a plot where muse a & muse b are exes. their relationship was actually pretty decent, despite muse b never showing enough attention or affection, hence why even after a year or two of being separated, muse a is still hung up on the other, and kind of searching for them in every new relationship and behind every corner. they were convinced they were the one, and seeing them again certainly hasn’t made that feeling go away at all??

Cardigan 

“but i know you, dancing in your levi’s, drunk under a streetlight” and i’m just picturing this pair of friends who have always kind of gotten into trouble, who were absolutely the type in high school to sneak out to get drunk and wander around town together, whether it lead to drunkenly adventuring the sidewalks of random streets in town, drinking and dancing along the way, or finding themselves at the local lake with half a bottle as they talk about everything and anything under the moon. they were literally like... night owls and that’s when their friendship really existed?? and maybe as adults, they haven’t seen each other in ages and when they do all of these old memories come back like “wow i was never that happy with anyone else??”

The Last Great American Dynasty 

toxic toxic toxic. these two bring out the absolute worst in one another, but one thing is certain -- the only way they were ever going to escape was if one of them died. muse a comes from money, and lives as such. expensive drinks, and infidelity. muse b is made into a monster in the town’s eyes, because they know of their partner’s cheating and they’re rightfully angry and upset, but they stick it out, because the money is too good to pass up on. it’s messy, and they’re constantly fighting, but when things are good? they’re so good. almost good enough to forget the bad. 

Exile 

muse a was growing restless in a relationship that felt like it was going nowhere, and muse b was oblivious to it, until it was too late. now muse a has a new partner, and muse b can’t stand it. but neither of them can truly shake the idea that they’re meant to be together -- muse b just needs to do something about it.

My Tears Ricochet 

i’m just not writing this one out because i honestly can’t think of anything that’s not super toxic, and that’s not my cup of tea. (TLGAD already is pushing it; sorry y’all!)

Mirrorball 

muse a has never truly felt like they fit in anywhere, until muse b shows up. they aren’t exactly sure what it is about them, but just being around them makes muse a want to be somebody completely new. whoever muse b would be interested in. making jokes to get noticed. wearing flashy outfits to keep their attention. but, at the end of the day, muse b thinks they’re perfect just as they are. this has super soft vibes and i’ll accept nothing less. 

Seven 

picture this -- they’re seven years old, and next door neighbors. fighting off monsters and building forts in their living rooms. their parents think they’re going to end up getting married when they’re older, and that probably would have been true, if muse b hadn’t switched schools senior year. fast forward ten years, and they run into muse a in their home town and every good memory comes flooding back because best friend love never dies.

August 

this is nothing more than a summer fling. (or is it??) muse a and muse b get to spend three months together, wrapped in the sheets and enjoying the sunshine together. making memories and ignoring the reality that they couldn’t last once the season ended (maybe one of them had to go back home in august) but they made those three months count in every moment. smiles and love songs and fall came in and stole it all away. (make it angstier by saying this fling only happened because muse b had broken up with their significant other before the fling started but by august, they want them back, leaving muse a heartbroken)

This is Me Trying 

muse a and muse b were head over heels. madly in love, and destined for it all. the big house, the happy family, wedding bells and all. until one drunken night, muse b makes the mistake of cheating on their partner. but they know they fucked up, and they’re not about to let the worst mistake they’ve ever made ruin the best thing in their life. they won’t go down without a fight, and if it takes apologizing for the rest of their life, they’d do it, just to get muse a back. lots of angst, and super sad. honestly?? i want this to make me cry.

Illicit Affairs 

make my whole life and give me a cheating plot. but not the kind of cheating plot that’s built on toxicity and mindless decisions!!! muse a is married and unhappy with somebody that doesn’t treat them right. maybe it’s abusive, maybe it’s just empty and the passion isn’t there? cue muse b, who lives down the street and has always made a point to wave and smile when they spot muse a outside, and their friendship builds to the point of sleeping together on accident. but it’s not a one time thing, or meaningless. they fall into bed because when they’re together, it’s the first time muse a has felt alive in ages, and suddenly they’re in a whirlwind romance, sneaking around to hook up and share little moments together. muse a feels guilty and shameful, muse b hates putting them in this position but is too attached to stop, and they both know that muse a’s marriage is going to implode if they get caught. -- but that’s not enough for them to give up. (make it interesting -- let them get caught?? END THE MARRIAGE!! give me angst.)

Invisible String 

you guessed it. this is a soul mates plot, and i’m not even sorry. muse a and muse b have never truly met, but their lives have always overlapped. whether it’s crossing one another in the grocery store, or sitting in a resturant at the tables that face one another. sitting in the same movie theater on opposite ends, or accidentally getting one another’s coffee at the local starbucks. after too many run ins, it’s impossible to ignore the similarities and the coincidences, and they decide to spend an evening together, getting to know one another -- and to nobody’s surprise -- they’re a perfect fit. muse a gets all of muse b’s jokes, and muse b likes all of muse a’s “flaws” and they’re just as dopey and gross as you’re probably imagining. 

Mad Woman

i’m not writing this one either.

Epiphany 

this one could go either way, and it’s entirely up to you and what fits your characters/what you feel most comfortable writing! muse a is either a soldier, or a healthcare worker. either way, they’ve both been through a lot, and seen more loss than any person should. but in a seemingly bleak world, muse b exists. the reason muse a works so hard. whether it’s somebody to come home from, after being overseas (if muse a is in the army!) or squeezing in time between doubles after a four car pile up came into the hospital (if muse a is a healthcare worker!), muse b is there to hold them, and remind them that there are good things left in the world and they’re just so healthy. 

Betty 

i’m just here to hurt myself at this point, but !!! give me a couple that everyone thought would make it. years together, and completely wrapped up in one another. they’ve been dating since high school, and now they’re about to enter their last year of college. muse a went back home for the summer, while muse b stayed at their apartment near campus. they stayed in touch, but as the summer progressed, muse b heard from muse a less and less, only to find out that muse a had spent the summer with somebody back home. when muse a finds out, they end things, but immediately regret it -- even if they won’t admit it. they’re just praying that muse b will come to their senses and come back. meanwhile, muse b is just trying to find the courage to face them, knowing that they only made this mistake because they were young, and thought they were bored of the “same old thing” even though it turns out nothing could ever compare to muse a. suddenly they’re at muse a’s front door in the middle of the night, knowing and hoping that they’ll get the love of their life back. (will muse b actually accept, despite how much they miss them? or will they slam the door?? will it be awkward if they get back together? will the trust ever come back??)

Peace 

muse a has always struggled with money, but when they fell in love with muse b, they swore they’d do whatever they could to provide the best life for them. but words don’t pay the bills. no matter how hard they work, it feels like they’re always struggling to keep their heads above the water. while the late fees build up, however, there’s no denying that their relationship is based on the purest love. the kind of love that leaves a person speechless. muse a would do anything for muse b, and vice versa. muse a constantly feels as though the other deserves better, because they want to give them more. give them everything, and they just can’t. but they don’t realize that for muse b, their love is enough. 

Hoax 

alright, so... this one’s not healthy. but, i’m writing it anyways because i’m in love with this idea?? SO muse a and muse b have been on and off for years. they’re always finding ways to hurt each other, whether it’s flashing their newest fling in the other’s face during the breaks, or picking fights for fun when they’re still together. when it’s bad, it’s so bad. but when it’s good, it’s so good, in ways that only make sense to one another, because no matter how many people they sleep with or relationships they break, they always find their way back to one another, convinced that there’s not a single person that understands them the way they do. they’d rather be angry and fight than be without one another. no matter how many times they call it quits, their hearts belong to each other and nobody can even begin to compare. make this more interesting by developing growth!! make them realize it’s not healthy! make them realize what they want, and that they have to work to have it! sacrifices and affection! real love! not just passionate sex and pillow talk secrets. not just years of history, but the effort to make it work because wasting times on their silly game just isn’t working anymore!

[bordeleaubeau]

when worlds collide - ryder donovan

chapter one wc: 5167

“and y/n, you’re paired with ryder.” mrs. wilson smiles as she reads off the final pairing of partners, and you can feel the color draining from your face. you turn to your left, looking over a few rows towards where ryder donovan sat. a near stranger right now, but he sure as hell wouldn’t be in a few days. “okay. so i just ask that everyone pairs up with their assigned partner and you sit together, and then i’ll go over the rules, got it?” 

the once silent classroom is then filled with the noises of chairs screeching against the tiled floor. your classmate, juliana who sits next to you, lets out a sigh. “well, good luck with ryder, y/n. you’ve sure hit the jackpot. make sure no girls steal your partner, okay?”

you give her a look as she grabs her book bag, standing up from her desk that was right besides yours. “yeah well, chances are i’m gonna be doing all the work. so yeah, lucky me right?” you roll your eyes. juliana gives you one last pitiful look before she’s off to her partner. 

you’re reaching down to pick up the strap of your book bag, but you glance up and see the blonde headed boy heading over in your direction already. you let your bookbag fall to the floor, and in a few short seconds ryder is taking the spot juliana had once sat in. 

“i’m y/-”

ryder cuts you off, a half smirk on his face. “i know who you are, smarty pants. no need to introduce yourself.” he says, placing his book bag down on his desk. “man, what even is this project.”

and it seems mrs. wilson hears him from across the room. “good question, mr. donovan. so as you’ve observed, i’ve placed you in male to female partnerships for this project. and i know you’ll all probably be ready to kill me after this, but i think it’s going to open your eyes to the real world.” you and ryder are already exchanging nervous glances with each other. “the baby project.” immediately, there are groans from all around the room, and your teacher starts to talk over them. “my job is to basically teach you to stay abstinent. and there’s no better way to teach you than this project. you and your partner will be a couple for the next two weeks - you can be ‘separated,’ ‘divorced,’ whatever you want. but you’re taking care of a child together. you have to maintain the ‘happiness’ of the child whenever he or she may start to cry by using a designated key. but failure to stop the crying after multiple attempts will result in an automatic five percentage deduction from your grade. now, choose between yourselves to decide who comes to pick up your baby.”

you and ryder are both blankly staring at each other, mouths dropped open wide. you’re sure nearly every girl in the class is jealous of you and for reasons you can quite clearly tell. ryder was attractive, smart, and a crazy level of popular. but that’s what you get as your school’s hockey team captain, right?

“uh,” ryder mumbles, eyes glancing down at the pencil he’s fumbling in his hand. “i’ll go pick up, the uh-”

“the doll, ryder. it’s not real. no need to get so spooked out,” you cut him off, letting out a huff as you lean back in the chair. ryder wordlessly nods and gets up from his seat and goes up to the front of the room. 

you’re minding your own business, pulling your phone out of your pocket when you feel a tap on your shoulder. you turn to see keira bradley, the captain of the girl’s lacrosse team. “so, y/n,” she smiles sweetly, placing her hand on your shoulder. you don’t have the heart in you to shrug it off, even if you’ve spoken maybe three words to the girl in all of high school. “cute outfit today! that color blue really brings out your skin tone. well, anyway, i was wondering to you maybe wanna switch part-”

“not happening, keira,” you hear ryder’s voice, and for once you’re grateful for it. keira lets out a huff. “nice try, though.” 

when keira turns back around, you look over at ryder. “what, wanna stick with a partner that’ll end up doing the whole project for you? strategic, donovan. real strategic.” you mumble, leaning back in your seat once again. 

“that’s not what-“ ryder sighs. “i just don’t think we should switch. mrs. wilson gave us our partners for a reason. but anyway, i think we have a girl, and then this is our worksheet for her name and stuff.”

you take the paper from ryder’s grasp, glancing over the questions you have to answer throughout your time with the baby. at the top, you write down yours and ryder’s names, stopping when there’s a spot for your baby’s name. “what do you wanna name her?” 

“uhh, what about, uh just saylor?” ryder looks up at you for approval after his suggestion of the pretty name. you shrug, writing down ‘just saylor’ down on your paper. “oh come on, smart ass,” ryder lets out a laugh, grabbing your pencil and paper away and erasing the ‘just’ you had written. you see his eyes lingering on the last name you had written for your fake baby. “hey, i like that last name.” he smirks, referring to the fact that you had written donovan.

“you did say ‘just saylor,’” you mock ryder, a soft smirk on your face as your eyes go back up to your teacher standing in the front of the room, trying your very hardest at ignoring the blush on your cheeks.

“so!” mrs. wilson exclaims, regaining attention from your class. “i don’t expect you guys to be together twenty-four seven. that’s not realistic as high schoolers. but i’d hope you both put in effort. maybe one of you has the baby one day, the other has it another and you alternate. but you have fourteen days.” ryder sighs, his hand raising and waiting for mrs. wilson to nod in his direction. “yes, ryder.”

“mrs. wilson, i have hockey like, every day. and games. home and away. i’d feel bad leaving y/n to do all of that.” you hate all of the eyes that turn to look at you. normally, you loved mrs. wilson and you looked forward to her class. but right now? you were ready to drop dead. as if the looks from the girls weren’t deadly enough already. they’d kill to be in your position. 

mrs. wilson smiles at you sweetly, and you know you’re in for a treat. “well, miss l/n is a sweet girl. i’m sure she wouldn’t mind going to a few of your games, right y/n?”

you force a smile, “right, mrs. wilson.” 

“but, ryder, i do appreciate your dedication to your team,” mrs. wilson adds on before she looks back up at the clock. “we can end here for the day. if you aren’t familiar with your partner, get to know them. if not, feel free to do whatever with your free time.”

ryder puts your project worksheet in his binder and you put your pencil away, leaving you to simply tap your fingers against your desk seeing as there wasn’t a point in taking out your phone. 

“so,” ryder speaks up pulling your attention away from your desk. “i can have her for the night. we had practice this morning so i can take care of her. and then you can just meet me at my locker tomorrow morning and we can switch off, and then you can go to my game tomorrow night and we can switch. how does that sound?” 

if you’re being honest, you’re skeptical. sure, you’ve talked to ryder here and there throughout your four years of school together, but as ryder got more and more popular the less and less the two of you talked. but you didn’t really have a choice - and you never really did talk in the first place. you didn’t even think he really knew who you were let alone your name.

“yeah, that sounds good. it shouldn’t be a problem.”

ryder gives you a smile just as the bell rings signalling the end of your class. “great. i’ll see you tomorrow morning then, y/n.” ryder picks up the baby carrier your fake doll is in and he slings his bookbag over his shoulder. you watch as he walks out, meeting up with a few of his teammates while you’re left to wallow in the thoughts of what’s going to be the worst two weeks of your life. 

-----------

“so you’re telling me you got paired with the ryder donovan. for a baby project. where he’s literally your baby daddy!” kennedy has no sense of an indoor voice as she basically screams in the cafeteria, her eyes wide and her palms pressed flat down on the table. “y/n! this is huge!” 

you roll your eyes at your best friend as you take a sip from your water. “you’re ridiculous, kenna. you sure you don’t wanna trade places with me? it’s just a project. it’ll be over in two weeks and then he’ll forget i ever even existed.” 

“or! or, you two realize you’re meant to be and you fall in love, just like you were always destined to be.” kennedy lets out a sigh of bliss, her chin resting in the palm of her hand as she gazes past your body with a soft smile on her face. 

“classic ken. hopeless romantic, as per usual,” josie says from beside you. you nod at her before looking back at kennedy who’s now pouting. 

“sorry i’m the optimistic one out of all of us. someone has to be,” the blonde mumbles, ducking her head as she continues to eat her food. 

you let out a sigh. of course you didn’t intend to make her feel bad, but sometimes kennedy got into her own head and made up her own fantasies. you would know, seeing as you had dealt with it since you were eight years old. “kenny, i just don’t wanna get my hopes up. with a boy like ryder, i’m lucky if i even end up as his friend after this whole thing is over. time will tell, alright? but until then, i need you girls with me at his hockey games.” 

kennedy’s eyes widen right away and you smile, knowing you’d get that reaction out of her. “like-like, logan anderson’s games too?” she sputters out, the fork in her hand falling onto the lunch table.

josie cracks up, “he plays on the hockey team, doesn’t he ken? and because he’s ryder’s best friend chances are when we wait for ryder after the game, logan will be with him too, and you can finally make your move.”

“yeah, you’re funny.” kennedy mumbles. “as if i’d ever make a move on logan? you’re funny, jose. really funny.” 

“oh come on, kenny! you two would be adorable. and if your far fetched fantasy of ryder and i getting together comes true, imagine all of the double dates we could go on!” you exclaim, your hand reaching across the wooden lunch table to rest on kennedy’s arm. she finally begins to smile. “there’s that smile!”

“okay, we’ll see, okay? just, it’s logan. i don’t wanna make a fool out of myself.” she admits sheepishly.

josie lets out a sigh, “well we’ll make sure you don’t and you’ll get the boy.”

-----------

later that night, you’re sitting at the kitchen table eating dinner with your mom, dad and your brother, william. “so, honey, how was school?” your mom asks, looking up at you from across the table.

you shrug, “well, i have a baby.” you say straight up, causing both of your parents to nearly start choking on their food. your dad goes to open his mouth to give you a piece of his mind, but you beat him to it. “please don’t freak. it’s a fake baby for my child development class. i’m partnered up with ryder donovan.”

your dad blows out a breath at the mention of ryder’s name, as he was the head coach for denfeld’s hockey team - aka east’s rival school. why you went to east, you couldn’t quite say. “now that’s something,” your father admits, mumbling down towards his plate. “so, tell us more. where’s the baby?”

“we’re doing a rotating schedule with it. he has it one day and then we’ll switch off. speaking of which, ryder needs me to go to their game tomorrow night so when i get the baby tomorrow i can give her to him that night,” you speak, looking at your dad for his reaction. you can’t quite read it.

whenever denfeld played east you always told your dad you were rooting for his team, but in reality you were actually rooting for your school. but you wouldn’t tell him that. but tomorrow night, now you would really have to root for east seeing as you wouldn’t want a grumpy ryder - and logan - after the game.

“well that’s gonna be something,” your little brother, william, spoke up from beside you. “y/n, it’s your turn for dishes tonight, by the way.”

after you finish eating and putting away all the dishes, you go up to your bedroom to see you have a few snapchats from none other than ryder donovan himself. you sit down on your bed and situate yourself before pressing on his name.

‘saylor misses her mommy’ was across one of the photos, where ryder had a forced pout on his face as he held your fake child. another one had ‘she won’t stop crying’ with his hand in the middle of running through his hair. finally there was one of him smiling, ‘just kidding, she finally stopped:)’ across it. 

you snap back a picture of yourself smiling with a thumbs up, ‘you’re a natural dono. if our baby is still in one piece by tomorrow morning i’ll be surprised’.

ryder sends back a photo of his mouth dropped open, ‘not cool, y/n/n. but anyway, what’s your number? it’s easier talking about this over text, not snap.’

you send ryder your phone number, and only a short few seconds later you get a text from an unknown number.

(218)-xxx-xxxx hey it’s ryder 

y/n:  i couldn’t have figured that out on my own or anything

rydes dono:  oh shut up. i just wanted to check up on my baby mama 

y/n:  i am not your baby mama, donovan.

rydes dono: well, you kinda are. anyway, meet me at my locker at 7? you know where it is right?

y/n: how could i miss it, you’ve got your own fan club of girls at your locker every morning.

rydes dono: oh lighten up, they all annoy me anyway. clara is bugging me to shoot around with her, so i’ll talk to you later?

y/n: yeah for sure.

to say the least, you fall asleep with a smile on your face and you pretty much wake up to it still spread across your face. you roll over, turning your alarm off before scrolling through your phone where you see you have a text message from ryder. 

rydes dono: good morning y/n/n, remember, meet me at my locker 

y/n: morning dono. really think i forget? or do you wanna get rid of saylor that bad

rydes dono:  just thought you’d forget.

you roll your eyes with a smile even though ryder can’t see you, and you leave it at that. you throw on a pair of black leggings and a baggy umd quarter zip sherpa along with a pair of low top converse. you grab your bookbag from the corner of your room and start to head downstairs, grabbing your car keys from the island counter in the kitchen.

“william! let’s go!” you yell, and only a mere few seconds later you hear the fifteen year old running down the stairs in the middle of fixing his tie that he had to wear on game day. 

“sorry, sorry,” william mumbles, looking up at your figure where you’re impatiently waiting for him. “okay, let’s go. what are you waiting for?”

you give your little brother a look before he’s following you out of the house and down to your car. you take the short ten minute drive to school, taking a five minute delay to get caribou for yourself and william, not bothering to get any for kennedy and josie as they had almost always gotten caribou for themselves as well.

“excited for tonight?” you ask, glancing over at william at a red light. “it’s your first game playing against dad. how you feelin’, bud?”

william looks up from his phone, his eyes widening slightly. “i’m a little nervous, not gonna lie. there’s a big difference in my game from last season to this season, and i don’t think dad has realized that just yet.”

you nod your head listening to him talk. william had been the hot shot freshman coming up that the entire coaching staff was excited for. william had just been cut short from the varsity team in 8th grade, but worked his butt off the entire summer. after his coach mike randolph at east saw his performance at summer tourneys, the excitement for the incoming freshman was surreal. as much as you hated to say it, they hadn’t been this excited for a freshman since ryder donovan.

“you just gotta kick his ass. and stay humble, too please. i don’t wanna be the girl with the idiotic brother, okay?” you say and william lets out a laugh but he stills nods. you know he would never do anything stupid, but still, it wouldn’t hurt to say anything. 

you pull into your parking spot, and almost immediately william jumps out to meet up with some of his teammates, which of course happen to be upperclassmen since william was the only freshman on the team - or rather, the only freshman that actually got ice time.

“bye y/n! have a good day!” william smiles, waving over his shoulder at you with a smile on his face.

“bye will, have a good day too. i’ll see you tonight at the game, buddy.” you watch as will walks away with his teammates leaving you to walk into the school alone. that was normal for game days, as soon as will saw some of his teammates he was gone. but you were okay with it, seeing as he had made such a close bond with his teammates regardless of how much younger he was.

once you get inside you head towards the senior locker bank, checking your phone to see that it was 6:59, and there wasn’t a single bone in your body that would doubt the fact ryder would give you shit for being even a minute late. you can see his locker even from all the way down the hallway. there’s probably about four girls there this morning, one being keira bradley from your childhood development class.

you have a tight lipped smile on your face as you approach the small group, where ryder, logan and ricky are standing with the girls. as soon as ryder sees you, a smile forms on his face. keira notices the smile and turns over her shoulder, her flirty smile turning into a grim one as she sees you.

“don’t worry, i’m just here for our baby,” you say rather awkwardly, trying to make your way to ryder. “morning, dono.”

“morning, y/n/n. here’s saylor,” ryder says, but then he unzips his bookbag and pulls out a sweatshirt. “and for the game tonight. gotta let everyone know who my baby mama is.” the smirk that’s on his face it lets you know he knows exactly what he’s doing. 

“oh my god, ryder,” you mumble, taking the sweatshirt from his hands with blushing cheeks. “i’ll see you in child dev.”

“see you, y/n/n,” he’s biting his lip slightly after he says it, only adding on to the blush of your cheeks as you walk away, trying to ignore the conversation between him and his friends. 

you walk towards your locker, holding saylor’s carrier in one hand and ryder’s hockey sweatshirt and your coffee in your other hand, that you’re sure has his name and number on the back judging by his comment. when you get to your locker kennedy and josie are already standing there waiting for you, and of course they both have caribou in their hands as well. 

“what is that!” kennedy screeches for way too loud at 7 in the morning, pointing right at ryder’s sweatshirt in your hand. “and why are you blushing!”

you lift your hand to cover your face with the hand that’s holding ryder’s sweatshirt and go towards your locker, only lowering your hand when you have to set the coffee on the top of your locker and placing the baby carrier on the ground. you put in your combo and right before you open it, you show josie and kennedy the back of the sweatshirt, donovan and the number 22 pressed on it.

“no fucking way, y/n,” josie says, reaching out to touch the sweatshirt like it wasn’t real. “do you know what this means, y/n?”

you give josie a weird look, and before you can respond kennedy beats you to it. “y/n/n. logan has told me before ryder doesn’t give anyone his sweatshirts. let alone his team one. or his jersey. are you sure he doesn’t have a crush on you?”

“there is no way he likes me,” you scoff, folding the sweatshirt and placing it in your locker for when you grab it at the end of the day. you grab your binders for your first few classes and put them in your bookbag before shutting it and turning to your best friends that are giving you looks. “what?”

“i think ryder likes you!” kennedy sings, and you’re quick to shush her to shut her up. her mouth closes immediately.

“we don’t need that spreading around, kens. that’s probably the last thing ryder would want, especially when pretty much everyone knows my dad coaches denfeld and i constantly get shit for it.” the three of you then begin to walk towards your respective homerooms.

“speaking of denfeld,” josie smiles, “how’s our secret favorite l/n? is he excited for tonight? nervous?”

you sigh, but there’s a happy smile on your face. “he’s a little bit of both for sure. he’s gonna feel bad no matter what tonight, and there’s gonna be someone that loses. it’s the first time will’s played against our dad’s team, so i guess we’ll just see what happens tonight.”

“something tells me ryder is gonna make sure he has a killer night, y/n/n.” kennedy says. “there’s no way he doesn’t. those two set each other up like, every game. mostly all of ryder’s points are because of william and most of william’s points are because of ryder.”

you shrug as the three of you finally reach your homeroom, “well, we’ll see tonight, yeah? see you at lunch, girls.”

-----------

when you walk into your child development class, the first thing you notice is that ryder is sitting in the desk next to you just like he was before class ended the day prior. it’s like he has a second sense when you walk into the room, and right away he looks up and gives you a smile. you try to bite back your smile as you sit in your seat, setting down your baby carrier down on the tiled floor. 

“how’s she been today? she didn’t give me a lot of trouble last night, only a little bit here and there,” ryder asks, leaning back in his chair and looking over at you.

“she’s been an angel. i think she may be broken,” you joke, glancing down at the baby in your carrier. that’s for the better, too, even if it feels impossible peeling your eyes away from ryder when he’s dressed up for game day and looking as good as he does. 

ryder shoots you a boyish smile, one that nearly makes your stomach do flips and you have to look to the front of the classroom to prevent yourself from blushing. “nah, pretty sure you’re just that good as her mother.”

“ryder donovan, what am i gonna do with you?” you let out a breath as you speak, and you’re practically saved by the bell as mrs. wilson begins to talk after the bell rings.

“good morning guys! hope you all had a good first night being new parents and i hope there weren’t too many complications. does anyone have any questions?” she asks, surveying the room to see if any hands shoot up. she nods when she doesn’t see any. “great. now can we go by group by group and share one thing we learned about your baby? who wants to go first?”

as if he couldn’t be more of a mr. perfect, ryder raises his hand and mrs. wilson nods in his direction. “it’s a pretty good replica of an actual baby and they’re just as sensitive. and rocking them also helps to stop them from crying, it’s not just trying to figure out which key helps with what.”

“very good ryder, that’s spot on.” you even have to say you’re impressed by ryder’s answer, turning to give him an impressed look, in turn you receive a smug smile from him.

you listen as one person from each group that had their baby for the night says what they learned or observed, until finally everyone in the classroom gives their answers. “okay, so here’s the part two to this project.” immediately there’s a few groans coming from around the room. “yeah, i know. but this part is a little bit more fun. because you’re supposed ‘teen parents’ you’re going to have a tighter budget than normal. you have to make do with eight hundred and fifty dollars. all fictional, of course. and make a budget of what you need for your newborn baby. and that includes a stroller, a highchair, a crib, diapers, anything you could possibly need for a baby.”

you and ryder both turn to look at each other. “is she serious right now?” ryder mumbles, glancing up towards mrs. wilson before looking back at you.

“i guess she is.” you sigh, crossing your arms over your chest as mrs. wilson begins to explain the second half of your project.

“do you think it would just be easier if one of us just goes to the other’s house?” ryder leans over to ask you quietly and you shrug. “that’s not a response, y/n.”

“well you always have hockey, donovan. one of us is gonna end up doing this entire portion by themself.” it’s not that you’re blaming ryder and his hockey schedule, because you’re not, it was just a bit annoying that the project was planned during the most hectic sports season at your school.

“i’m sorry, y/n. if we’re away for the weekend and you have her for multiple days i’ll make up for it, i promise,” ryder whispers, noticing the glances mrs. wilson is giving the two of you that’s silently telling you to stop talking. 

“now, let’s talk some extra credit.” all of the ears of the kids who needed a grade boost suddenly perk up, including ryder, who’s eyebrows raise. “you can make a family scrapbook. all you have to do is make a slideshow, put pictures of you and your little family and present it in front of the class if you so choose. like i said, it’s only extra credit and it isn’t necessary, but, it’s definitely a little more fun to do.”

“we’re doing that,” ryder whispers as quietly as he can, leaning in closer than he had before. “i have a high c in here and i need to get it up to a b.” 

you nod your head not risking mrs. wilson giving the two of you another warning look as she finishes explaining everything, which ends up taking up the rest of the class.

“so i’m gonna see you tonight, right?” ryder asks as he slings his bookbag over his shoulder. 

“of course, wouldn’t miss it for the world, donovan,” you smile at him, slinging your own bookbag over your back and picking up your baby carrier. as if on cue, saylor begins to cry and your eyes widen. “rydes.”

ryder turns around at the sound of not only the wail of his name, but also the robotic pre recording cry of the baby. “y/n, just pick her up. have you ever taken care of a child before?”

you sheepishly shake your head. you and william were so close in age you didn’t ever take care of him when he was a baby and you don’t remember him being a baby since you were so young. ryder steps in close to you, picking up saylor and positioning her in your arms. 

“just like that,” ryder mumbles, reaching into the carrier to grab the set of keys that would assist in stopping the crying. “i fed her this morning, so she probably needs a dirty diaper change.” ryder mumbles to himself, grabbing the yellow colored key and holding it over the baby’s chest where the sensor was. and just like that, she stops crying. 

“how are you so good at this?” you whine, placing saylor back in the carrier and covering her with a blanket. ryder shrugs, a shy smile on his face.

“i have four other siblings, y/n. i may be the forgotten middle child, but i picked up a few things with my younger siblings.” ryder says, helping you cover up saylor, your hands brushing over each other’s. the warning bell rings, and that’s when you realize your chances of being late to lunch are now extremely high. you look up at the clock and curse under your breath. “what’s up, y/n/n?”

“just gonna be late to lunch, that’s all. kennedy probably stole my seat,” you roll your eyes, picking up the carrier as the two of you begin to make your way out of the classroom. but your eyes catch mrs. wilson, and the younger teacher grins at you, making you smile shyly with blushing cheeks.

to say the least, she knew what she was doing. 

“lunch? try econ with gates, if i’m late to his class i’m gonna have detention for a week.”

you shrug your shoulders, “better get running then, dono, or your ass is grass.”

“yeah, yeah. i’ll see you tonight, y/n. and you better be wearing my sweatshirt.” ryder says and he begins to walk the other way. “oh, and y/n?” ryder asks, and you turn around to see him walking backwards so he’s facing you. “ don’t forget to tell your dad they’re going down tonight.”

chapter two

[stxvercgersslut]

Finally A Happy Ending

Pairing: Hayden (Harvard Hottie) x female! Reader

Description: You’ve never had the greatest luck when it comes to love but that all changes when you bump into Hayden

Warnings: Tone of fluff, language, Smut towards end but it’s really fluffy and nothing too raunchy.

A/n: Gif is not mine! Bits in at Italics means that it’s a flash back. THIS HAS NO BUSINESS BEING THIS LONG 😂

It didn’t seem real, in fact none of this felt real. How on Earth did you ever get to this moment without screwing everything up for yourself like you usually did? Was this a miracle? It had to be right? It had to be some sign that God didn’t hate your live life after all.

Well miracle or not, you were still sat in a hotel room getting ready for the big day. Thats right. You were getting married to the most amazing human in the world. The love of your life. Never had you ever thought that you would get so lucky, especially like this. In fact you hadn’t even expected to ever find love, let alone get married. Yet here you were, being assisted into your gorgous white wedding dress by your two best friends, Annie and Emily. This was most certainly a dream come true.

“Babe are you sure you haven’t gotten the wrong size? Or the seamstress just hasn’t done the correct measurements? Because this dress doesn’t look right nor does it fit right. It’s practically suffocating your rib cage and We haven’t even managed to zip it up yet!” Your bridesmaid Emily commented as she struggled to completely zip up your dress since it haulted just below where the hem of your white lacy panties ended. Probably from the slight weight gain after your expensive trip to Brazil with Hayden a few weeks before your wedding. You guys had never eaten so much food in your life.

“No! I’m positive I got the right size!” Still completely in shock. Why the hell were things so difficult on what was supposed to be the best day of your life?

“Well either you’re got fat or someone shrunk your dress without you even realising because there is no way this dress is getting past your stomach unless you really breath in.”

“Just keep trying!” You replied before completely falling silent desperately trying to suck in your slightly swollen belly as much as physically possible, still in shock. Whilst you’re bridesmaids continued to help you get your somehow ridiculously tight dress to close, you couldn’t help but begin to daydream about that one writers evening that just so happened to be the luckiest night of your life. The day everything fell into place and reminded you that maybe life wasn’t always full of disappointments and that it’s actually full of good times too.

❅──────✧❅✦❅✧──────❅

“You have got to be kidding me!” You groan as you plunge your hand back into your ridiculously expensive Chanel bag for what felt like the hundredth time tonight in search for your purse. But unfortunately, still no damn purse. Where the hell could it have gone? And to make matters worse you were literally in the back of a cab right now with no money to pay the driver. “No no no.....this can’t be happening! Not tonight of all fucking nights! Where the hell is it?!?” You sob quietly to yourself, a few fustrated tears trickeling their way down your cheeks, praying to any god that was listening that you’d find your purse. But still no luck what so ever. Great...now you were completely stuck in a cab that was most likely going to kick you out once the driver finally realised that you weren’t going to be able to pay him back. Unfortunately, you had another hour until your destination. How could you just stay there in the back seat riddled with guilt. You had to say something! So that’s exactly what you did,

“I.....I’m so sorry...” you began, swallowing thickly before continuing once you had been sure that the cab driver was actually listening to you. “My...purse....I must have forgotten it at home when I left....I’m so sorry...” you rambled, already beginning to allow tears to fall from your eyes once again. This was already the worst night of your life. Of course it was.

A loud screech echoed through the cab as it came to a sudden stop. “You’ve got to be kidding me! I just drove 2 fucking hours thinking I was getting my $400 and now you tell me you can’t pay me? Don’t act like you didn’t know what you were doing!” The driver yelled angrily as he yanked his seatbelt off before literally getting out of the car, opening the back door and literally yanking you out of the veichel in one clean swoop, sending fear shooting down your veins.

“I didn’t know! I’m so sorry please just.....if you take me back I can pay....I’ll even pay you more!” You tried to reason, knowing that your begging probably wouldn’t get you anywhere but it was worth a shot right?

“Don’t lie to me bitch! I’ve been round your type before! Greedy little stuck up princesses who think that everything in life comes free. Well it won’t work with me Princess and I’m sure as hell not driving you 2 hours back home! You can get lost!” The man spat, as he took hold of your arm, causing sparks of fear to jolt through your spine. This couldn’t end well could it?

“HEY! Get the fuck off of her! She doesn’t owe you shit!” A males voice echoed, ripping you from your fearful state and sending an over whelming sense of relief to flood you.

“Oh is that so? This bitch made me drive 2 hours out of town and then tells me she hasn’t even got her fucking purse! That’s not a coincidence” the cab driver bit back.

“How much has this cost you?” The mysterious man questioned, sending a quick sympathetic look your way before looking back towards the other male who still had a piercing grip on your wrist.

“What?” The cab driving questioned totally taken aback by the mans kindness.

“Oh sorry are you deaf?! How much has the drive cost you? I won’t ask again” this time the blue eyes beauty stepped forward, a threatening look replacing his kinder side.

“$400” He snarled still not letting go of your wrist.

“$400?!?” Now the kind strangers eyes were buldged so wide that he could have sworn that they would pop out of his head if he wasn’t careful. “I don’t carry that amount of money on me...do you do card?” He asked, taking out his wallet and beginning to rummage for his card, almost instantly finding it.

“What? No no you can’t do that! I couldn’t possibly ask that of you. You don’t know me....” you spoke, eyes widening as he placed his card against the machine watching as it processed his information and took the $400 from it in an instance. “Too late” he spoke jokingly, placing his card back into his wallet before practically yanking the drivers hand away from yours causing a sigh of relief to run through your body. Thankfully.

“Now you have your money so I expect to never see you around here again! And if I so much as see you picking on another women like you did just now then I will not hesitate to report you to your boss got it?” The Male asked with a angry smirk on his eyes. Clearly he wasn’t lying. Not when it came to scumbags like him. It wasn’t fair! Not at all.

The driver didn’t say another word, just scurrying back to his cab before eagerly driving off back to wherever the hell he came from. As long as it was far away from you you didn’t give a shit.

“Thank you!! Thank you thank you thank you so much Erm....”

“Hayden...”

“Hayden...thank you...I really can’t thank you enough. I promise I will pay you back when I get home.....” you spoke trying hard to keep your cool since you were literally standing in front of who you thought was most certainly the sexiest man alive. No one could be cuter then him right?

Hayden laughed sympathetically once more before shaking his head over exaggerating each movement to further prove he was serious. “Nonsense. A pretty girl like you shouldn’t be treated the way he treated you. Are you okay? Because if you’re not you know you can sue for physically abuse and threatening behaviour him right? In fact if you wanted to you could literally sue the entire company for everything that it’s worth! You shouldn’t let him get away with it. It’s not fair” as the Male continued to ramble on about every possible way you could take legal action on the taxi ferm you couldn’t help but realise how handsome he truely was. The kindness just making him even more sexy. “I guess I just don’t want the trouble...” you spoke with a weak smile. Beginning to shake due to the cold air beginning to seep it’s way into your thin jacket. Wasn’t the best of choices but you didn’t seek to care.

Hayden sighed, taking in a deep breath as he watched your skin turn a slightly blue due to the cold. His heart beginning to throb when he noticed your shivers. How could he just leave you out here cold and alone with nowhere to go? If he was a decent guy, which he was, then he had to do something. Maybe he could drive you home? Take you back to his apartment? Pay for your hotel? Get you another taxi and pay for it? Just anything to make sure that you were safe and not stuck out in the cold all night where you’d probably freeze to death. And without a purse? Well you’d end up stuck out here till at least the morning. Just wasn’t fair.

Without a second though he shrugged off his jacket, instantly draping it over your shoulders not even caring if you shrugged it off. But you didn’t, which for some reason seemed to just hold it closer, placing your arms through the sleeves and grasping the zipper on each side to pull it closer around your body. Clinging to it like you were scared that it wasn’t real, like all of it wasn’t real. Like HE wasn’t real.

“Look....” he began, pressing his right hand to the back of his neck in though, desperate to help you in any physical way that he could. “Is there anything that I can? Where were you heading? Maybe I can drive you there? Or just take you home? I could even pay for another ca—“

You stoped him, you had to! Of course you did. Hearing him even so much as offer to pay another $400 in order to get you home. That just wasn’t fair. “No no I can’t ask that if you! Besides it’s 2 hours back that way...it wouldn’t be fair ...” you argued, pressing your palm against his chest as he walks further. Clearly he was reach for the hem of his jacket that you were wearing but you didn’t care. You still took it as an opportunity to feel at his chest. And me oh my how you were happy you did. He seriously was built like a fucking god! “I was going to my mothers.....but she’d probably have gone to sleep now. Plus I need my purse anyway....” you explained. Taking a deep breath whilst continuing to feel at his chest. Surprisingly he wasn’t pushing you away. So you just took that as a sign that he didn’t want you to stop. In that case you wouldn’t.

You were driving him crazy, no actually you were intoxicating. Drawing him in closer and closer with ever word. Causing him to beg and pleas to be with know you, to feel you close and kiss you. God how he wanted to kiss you and he’d only just met you. “Alright....then where do you live? I’m not leaving you out here on your with nowhere to go! Let me drive you home? It’s the least I could do to ensure your safety. It’s almost midnight and it’s pitch black. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if something happened to you. Please?” Now he was begging, pleading and whining. Pretty much losing every scrap of dignity that he had left. Not caring how he sounded. As long as you were safe then he didn’t care.

He waited, and waited and waited for what felt like hours until you finally answered, replying with a simple thank you and a boss as to show that you were accepting his offer. Thank god for that. It was like a rush of relief flooded through him once you accepted his offered. Knowing that your be safe with him until you got home. So that was exactly what he did. He drove you home. And later, stayed the night to keep you company in your empty apartment. Of course, the pair of you exchanged number rather quickly before he left in the morning. This was the beginning of what was about to be the most romantic 4 years of your life.

❅──────✧❅✦❅✧──────❅

The sound of you dress zipper finally giving up and actually going the entire way up, no matter how tight it was, had been enough to tear you from your romantic daydream. Causing you to realise exactly we’re you were. You were really marrying Hayden right now? How? How on Earth was that happening right now? How had your relationship lasted 4 years already? Oh you were a lucky girl.

“Y/n/n you ready?” Annie asked as she placed a hand on your shoulder, a soft smile laced in her features. Both of your bridesmaids were just so sweet, clearly excited to even watch their best friend get married to then man that you loved with you entire heart. Nothing would change that. Not one thing.

Slowly you were fully revived from your dreamlike state, actually now completely comprehending what they said “Hmm? Oh yeah....I’m as ready as I’ll ever be...wow is it really time already? That’s strange. Thought I had 3 hours left? God that’s gone quickly. Well time to get married I guess” you spoke shakily, a little panic begining to deep through as you slowly began to strut your way out of your hotel room and down to the main hall. Thankfully everyone had already been seated in the grand garden outside where the wedding would be held. So you had time to sneak your way out into the hall, narrowly avoiding being seen by your husband to be and the rest of the guests through the large glass windows right in front of the garden.

Neither of you had many guests. Hayden had a couple of his good friends from college, his father (although he didn’t seem to actually want to be there) and a few other people but in all fairness he only had 15 guests. Where as you didn’t have any parents, your father sadly passed away before you’d gotten to the age of 17. And your mother? Well she had died 5 weeks before the wedding. So you only had Emily, Annie, your 3 friends from college and your uncle. So in total you only had 21 guests. Not that you wanted too many anyway. A small gathering of people was more then enough for the both of you.

Emily quickly ducked her head out to the garden, giving the band and the wedding planner a thumbs up before sneaking back inside and behind you to hold onto your train. It wasn’t too long but still if you attempted to walk without aid right now then that would be sure to end in disaster.

“Let’s get you married” she spoke, kissing your cheek before giving you an almighty shove to force you out of the door. Not that you even needed the shove right now. Especially since you were more then willing to walk out there to Hayden in a heartbeat. He was the love of you life after all. That much had been clear from your very first date.

❅──────✧❅✦❅✧──────❅

A week later He’d barely gotten a chance to ask you on a date before you were accepting his invitation to go out to a rather expensive restaurants near his apartment block. How he’s managed to book a table somewhere that was usually completely booked up was beyond you. Yet you still accepted the offer. Excited for what was awaiting you.

Saturday night was your date night, and you’d spent almost 5 and a half hours getting yourself ready. Curling you h/c silky smooth hair into gorgous beach waves, carefully and somewhat shakily applying your makeup (practically packing it on to make yourself presentable for one night that was bound to be the best night ever) and standing at the mirror having a mini fashion show in front of it as you tried on several outfits, before finally landing on a beautiful silk short sleeved red dress that rested at your knees. Pairing it with some slightly darker red heals before finally just sitting on your couch and nervously waiting for to turn up at your door.

You practically bolted out of the house the second that you’d seen his car pull up outside of your house, running in heals over to him and pulling him into a tight hug. What? You just couldn’t help it. In some weird way you’d actually seriously missed him and it had literally only been a week since he had quite honestly saved you from being thrown into jail for refusal to pay your cab fee. Not that you could have.

“Woah, hello to you too” he laughed, wrapping his arms around your waist equally as fast as he inhaled your cinnamon scented perfume whilst closing his eyes. “What’s brought the hug on beautiful?” He pondered.

Beautiful? He’d never called you beautiful. Well you’d only known him a week so he hadn’t exactly had the chance to. The nickname instantly causing a peachy blush to pierce its way through you what felt like seven layers of foundation. “Nothing, think of it as my way of saying thank you”

“Thank me?”

“Yeah”

“Thank you for what sweetheart?” yet again another new nickname.

“For everything that you’ve done for me...and this...it’s just....I’ve never actually been with a guy that actually cared..most just wanted sex. So thank you for not being like those me” you admitted. Smiling weakly as you patted down your dress and patiently waited for his reply. Although what he did next actually surprised you.

Slowly Hayden lifted one of his hands, placing it delicately on your cheek as if he was terrified of breaking you. Like you were made of porcelain. “Well I’m not like any other guy....I’d never treat you like any of those idiots ever did! You’re a beautiful women who deeerves to have men worship the ground you walk on, not sleep with you and leave.” His voice no more then a whisper as he leaned in closer and closer towards you, barely even an inche away from your lips now. Oh he really was different. Especially since he didn’t kiss you, he stayed right where he was, not wanting to force you to kiss him if you didn’t want you.

But owe you so wanted to. Ever since you’d met him last week you’d thought of nothing more then to press your greedy lips against his and kiss him. Maybe that was your virginity trying to tell you something, that it was time to let go and divulge. But not yet. So instead you just wrapped your arms around the back of his neck, yanking him insanely close and soon pressing your lips to his.

The kiss was short and sweet, his lips gliding along yours whilst your hands were now carded in his hair. Messing up the soft wisps of hair. Neither of you wanted to pull away but when a large spray of rain came shooting down from the sky, practically beginning to shoak you already, it was evident that you had to pull away. Unless you wanted to get hypothermia.

“Wow..how romantic..” he begun, smiling like a big dork as he literally dragged you into his car to shelter from the rain. “I’ve never done that before...” he admitted, shying away a little.

“Never what? Kissed a girl?” You wondered a little puzzled by his words.

As if it was even possible Hayden’s cheeks began to burn a much darker shade of red. Almost covering his entire face before actually speaking. How was he so nervous? What was it about you that seemed to draw him in closer? “Well yeah I’ve kissed girls before....of course I have....but I’ve never...kissed them right before the first date...it was nice. If the rain hadn’t began to pour then I would have kept kissing you” he admitted that sweet dorky smile soon coming back.

“Well...who says we have to stop?” You asked suggestively. A cheeky little smirk landing there on your face.

“Our 8:30 dinner reservation actually.”

“Oh shit....I forgot about the date part”

❅──────✧❅✦❅✧──────❅

Once again, you’d been dragged from yet another day dream by the studden feel of Hayden’s hands pressed against yours, dragging you closer so that you were only a small foot away from him and the sound of the Priests voice beginging to echo through the room God he wanted to kiss you right, both of you just half drowning out the Priests voice as you stared into each others eyes with love burning inside of you. However, your heard the priest gesture towards Hayden you actually began to listen. Now it was finally time for the vows, something you were more then excited about since you’d both decided to write your own vows.

Haydens hands were shaking as he took the piece of paper from his father, trying his hardest to calm down his nerves but it wasn’t working. So instead he just began to speak. “Y/n....ever since I met you those 4 years ago, I knew that we would be together. Everything about you was perfect back then and it’s still perfect now! Seriously how do you stay so perfect?” He asked with a happy wife smile on his face, causing all your guest, apart from a few, to burst out into laughter. “You’re not only the love of my life but you’re also my best friend, my partner and my soulmate. I promise to love you with all my heart, to respect you every single second, to never argue with you when you’re clearly going to win” once again the guest burst out into laughter, calming his nerves ever so slightly “I promise to never ever buy you that awful take out food ever again” more laughter “and most of all, I promise to be the best husband that you will ever have. No matter what happens on the future, what obsticals we both face, I will always be by your side. We will face life head on together because baby? You’re never getting rid of me, you can try but trust me baby, you won’t.”

And with that Hayden took the ring from his best man, slowly taking your ring finger and slowly sliding it onto it. “With this ring, I promise to love and respect you for the rest of my life” now he really was calm, having now gotten everything that he wanted to say out into the open he heart had stopped pounding. So now he was just staring at you. Patiently waiting for you to begin.

“You know....I had so many things that I wanted to say to you! But nothing on this sheet would ever be able to describe how much I love and care about you. From our first date, to our first kiss, to our first fight, to our first house and now to our wedding I have loved you the entire way. And that’s never going to stop I hope you know that!” The room fell silent now, everyone watching to engrossed in listening to your vows to even so much as laugh since yours were so much calmer and more serious then Hayden’s. “I promise to be a good wife and treat you right, to try and stop getting jealous every time you talk to another girl, to go with you to bars when you ask me to and actually have fun for once” finally the crowd began to laugh, most so mesmerised by how two people could love each other so dearly to completely take in everything that you had said. “And most of all I promise to not get mad at you about everything when I’m only actually mad at you about one thing” with that you laughed softly along with Hayden before slowly taking the wedding band given to you by Annie and slipping it onto his finger. The most adorable smile gracing your face as you did. “With I promise that everything I have vowed to you is true. I will live and respect you for as long as I live”

The part of you barely managed to get through the I dos with out crying tears of joy. But finally once the priest had announced that he could now kid the bride he just couldn’t help himself, he had to kiss you. Pulling you close to his chest and just pressing the most humongous kiss to your lips. So full of love that you literally forgot about everyone around you. They all faded away, none of them seeming to feel to important to either of you right now.

❅──────✧❅✦❅✧──────❅

The night Hayden had proposed to you had coincidentally been the exact night of your first fight.

You’d been so distraught after that you’d literally stormed out of your shared apartment. Not really caring where you went, just wanting to get as far away from Hayden as humanly possible.

He’d hurt you, yelling at you at your weakest point and continuing to shoot you down and accidentally insulting you twice over some pathetic reason that neither of you could actually remember. So deep into the fight that he’d barely noticed you’d left until he heard the front door violently slamming shut.

That night, when you finally got home, he tried his hardest to make it up to you. Holding you close when you finally let him finally touch you, leaving little kisses all over your body whilst whispering sweet nothings into your ear.

He even went as far as to eat you out after a few hours of kissing you. Eating your pussy like it was his favourite meal in the world. Which to be perfectly honest you were his favourite. He sucked at your clit, nibbling on it ever so often before sucking it into his mouth, sucking hard on it until you were practically screaming. Making you cum 5 times until you finally forgave him. It was a long 5 times but who were you to complain?

He just wanted to make it up to you, especially after accusing you of cheating only to find out that the man you were with wasn’t only homosexual, but he was your uncle. His friend had clearly gotten it wrong, so of course he needed to ensure that you knew he was sorry. Clearly Hayden was jealous but he hadn’t exactly expected to feel so strongly towards you. Especially like this.

“Marry me” he’d whispered as he began nibbling at your folds, it wasn’t exactly the greatest time to ask, but it had just slipped out. Half way through eating you out. God what a way to ask.

“Wh—what?...” you asked, still practically fucked out from the firth orgasm he’d ripped from you just a few seconds ago.

“Marry me” he repeated, still keeping his tongue pressed against your clit. Each one of his words causing a wave of pleasure to shoot down your spine.

You couldn’t take it, couldn’t talk whilst he was attached to your pussy. It was way too difficult to concentrate. “S....stop bab....y” you spoke, gripping onto his hair and yanking him away from your cunt. Thankfully he obliged and kissed up your body back to your lips. Letting you taste yourself on his lips making you moan gently before he pulled away completely to let you speak. “Do you really mean what you said?”

“What do you mean? Of course I meant it. I wanna marry you. We’ve been together for 3 years already baby girl, it’s time for the next step don’t you think baby?”

“Yes”

“Yes?”

“Yes”

“Yes what baby girl? What are you agreeing to?” He asked, a slight smirk on his face as he finger slide down to your pussy, making you yelp as he began to play with your already swollen and sore clit. He really did wanna push you to the limit. Especially since you were waiting for your wedding day to actually have sex.

“Yes—I will....m—marry you..” you moaned out.

“I love you” he replied whilst strumming at your clit.

“I love you too” was the last thing you moans before cumming for the 6th time that night.

❅──────✧❅✦❅✧──────❅

“Earth to Y/n!” Hayden spoke as he ran his hand through your hair, placing a kiss to your forehead before finally getting your attention “Are you okay baby? You’ve been quite for a while. Everything okay?” He asked worriedly whilst swaying the two of you back and forth, enjoying your first dance as a married couple.

“Hmm?” You asked. Still a little dazed from your third daydream of the day. “Oh yeah....yeah I’m fine just remincing on our relastionship. The good times..” you explained whilst slowly placing your forehead against his, being extra careful not to transfer any of your foundation to his face. “Oh really baby? And what are thought good times? Anything in particular?” He asked with a slight raise of his eyebrows, placing a soft kiss to your nose before allowing you to speak “memories like the day we met, our first date, the night you proposed.” You teased gently pulling away a little as you placed your lips against his. God he adored you, in fact he adored everything about you.

“Oh really? Well how about we escape from here and go to our suit? It’s almost midnight anyway baby, wanna go recreate our engagement night? With a twist?” He asked with a smirk on his lips. Not giving you enough time to reply before he was dragging you off the dance floor and through the hotel.

The pair of you had barely made it to your honeymoon suit by the time that you’d began making out in the hallway, both too engrossed in each other’s love that you didn’t even begin to care that there was an elderly couple ogling the pair of you as you attacked eavhither with your mouths. The pair Laughing and muttering something along the lines of ‘clearly newly weds about to seal the deal’ before walking past you to leave the pair of you to it. If you weren’t both careful then you’d most certainly end up having sex right in that very hallway. Not that that would be a bad thing, apart from the fact that this was going to be your very first time. Not just with Hayden but over all.

“Hayden.....stop baby.....” you muted against his lips, whining a little as he nibbles on your bottom lip with a small bit of pressure before completely letting go after your plea. His eyes so wide with list that he didn’t even need you to expand on why you’d stoped him. He just somehow knew.

So without another word, he dragged you over to the honeymoon suit, opening the door quickly. Egarly tearing the dress from your body and ridding himself of his suit until the pair of you were left in his boxers and your panties, before picking you up and throwing you onto the bed rather brutally.

“Hey!” You whined “be careful! You’ll hurt the baby.” That made him stop in his tracks. Questioning everything that he never knew.

“Wait what? What baby? Y/n/n you’re a virgin. How can you be pregnant? Are you lying to me? Have you not been a virgin this entire time?” He asked, worry seeping through his voice.

“No silly, I’d never lie to you. I mean the baby I want you to put inside me” you spoke the words in themselves causing your nose to crinkle up. Okay maybe you’d had a little bit too much to drink. Well yes of course you had, it was your wedding night you couldn’t not drink.

“Oh is that so? But this is your first time...”

“We’ve already establishes that...what’s your point?”

“My point is, that don’t you want your first time to be special and memorable instead of having your first time be trying for a baby?”

“But your my husband? And married couples try for children. You’d die you wanted a baby. Did that change?” You pondered, wondering exactly what was going on inside his head. If only inside out was an actual real thing that you could see.

With that Hayden pressed a sloppy kiss to you forehead, scattering time little kisses to you cheeks, chin, eyes and finally you lips. Trying to call you down before he began to explain. Once he was satisfied, he finally pulled away from your kiss swollen lips. “No no of course not y/n...I just.....didn’t expect you to want to try for a baby straight away.” He explain, stroking his hand along your cheek.

“Do you want to?” You asked.

“Of course. If you want to start right away then I’m more then happy to oblige my love” he replied.

“Then let’s get down to business lover boy” you teased, slowly pressing your hand against his boxers as soon as you got the chance.

“No baby, that’s not fair, my girl deserves the lovin tonight. I can wait. Just want you to feel good” he spoke lovingly, prying you’re warm hand away from his boxers before slowly making his way down your half naked body, taking he sweet time showing appreciation to each little part of your body, making sure nothing goes without his appreciation. But after a while of just listening to your whimpers and begs for him to finally touch you where you needed him the most he finally got down to your white lacy panties.

“These are beautiful baby, but their Gonna have to go” You giggled as he slid them down your legs slowly, revealing your already aching and throbbing core to him. Something felt different about this. But it was a good different.Kissing every inch of them. Shivers raced down your spine as the inevitable neared closer. Sure you've done stuff with him but it's never ended in sex. No, you've been saving that for tonight and now it was here you felt nervous. But even with the nerves, you craved his mouth on your heat. You needed to feel his tongue all over you.

“God....always so wet for me baby, haven’t even really touched you yet.” he groand causing you to cover your face with your hands, hiding your cheeks as they heated up.

However, he was right. You’d always been so responsive to Hayden’s touch. Even if you both hadn’t experienced sex with each other yet. you still being a complete virgin just made this so much better.

He moved them away almost as soon as they were there, his eyes locked on yours "I want you to watch as i eat this pussy baby, don't go all shy on me now" he ordered, his smile growing each time you felt his breath fan against your already puffy folds. God how you needed him more then you had ever needed him before.

Your back arched at the all too familiar feeling of his mouth on your bundle of nerves. You griped onto his hair, messing it up in the process as you tugged. His fingers circled your tight hole before he slowly sliped one in. You winced at the stretch, he'd never done this before but he did promise to prepare you for the big moment.

He knew it’d been something that'd lived in your head rent free. He knew you're scared to fully give yourself up to him. But he was going to make sure that he prepared you as well as he ever could. Stretching you until his fingers would move painlessly through you with precision, then AND only then would he finally slip into you inch by inch letting you feel every inch of him. But for now, he’d settle for eating you out until his heart was content whilst his finger stayed still inside you for now, feeling every little quiver of your pussy as he sucked visiously on your clit whilst a second finger poked and proded at your entrance before sliding in beside his over. Slowly beginning to move them in a scissor like formation which cause you to hiss in pain. It wasn’t the most painful thing in the world but it was still uncomfortable of course it was.

“Shhh baby, it’s okay I’ve got you. Just relax. Everything will be okay” he hummed against your clit, twisting and pulling at it with his teeth before slowly but surly pulling it into his mouth, sucking harshly as he continued to make you sing with his fingers, curling them delicately against your fluttering walls. Listening to each moan and each curse that you made.

“Always so verbal my love, and always so delicious. Taste like honey” he informed whilst licking at your clit. Never once letting go whilst his fingers began to speed up inside you. Stretching you out until you no longer felt the pain each time he curled them up to your g-stop. And that was your downfall. With one last curl of his fin he ran and one last suck of your clit you were cumming, moaning his name loudly whilst tugging hard at his hair.

But he didn’t stop. Not until he was completely satisfied that you were ready for him. Beckoning 2 more delicious orgasms out of you before he was satisfied that you had suffered enough from the fourplay. It was time to finally give in. Already rock hard in his pants he pulled his boxers down. Letting out a moan as he felt the relief of finally releasing the pressure. But still he longed to be inside of you.

“Now I’ll ask you one last time baby, are you sure you don’t want me to wear a condom baby? This is a big deal” he spoke softly, clearly worrying for his new wife more then you’d realised. This man really was the kindest Male you’d met. “Yes....I’m ready baby, I want a child with you” you whispered lovingly as you mumbled against his lips.

Needing to feel him once more before of course feeling him beginning to push into you. Hissing in pain as he fully stretched you out further then his fingers had. A small line of tears slowly leaving your eyes as you tried to calm yourself, small trickles of blood visible. But of course he didn’t let you look, he never would. Instead he kissed your lips. Giving you as much time as you needed to get used to the usual fullness of his cock inside of you. Finally becoming his.

“Hayden.....please....move” you begged after 10 minutes of just feeling him inside of you. Your entrance raw as he finally began to thrust carefully into your aching pussy. Moans and grains filling the room. This wasn’t fucking, this wasn’t just sex. No in fact this was truely making love. And from that moment on you’d be forever his.

❅──────✧❅✦❅✧──────❅

2 years later

The years leading to this very moment had been perfectly normal, little to no disturbances. In fact the pair of you led a pretty normal life together.

“Y/n love? Can you help me please? I need to feed Lilah but Maisie and Kaden won’t stop clinging at my legs.” Your husband of 2 years now begged as you wandered into the kitchen, laughing as you saw your 1 year old twins Kaden and Maisie grabbing at Hayden’s legs.

“Alright you two little minx’s get off of daddy shall we?” You spoke, softly scooping the little one up off of the floor and into your arms as they giggled, happily his curling into your arms. Allowing your husband enough time to feed your new born little baby Lilah. “Thank you gorgeous” he spoke, slowly kissing your neck lovingly before pulling away. This was the life you’d made for yourselves and you loved it.

Tag list: @jtargaryen18 @et-lesailes @chuckbass-love @cevans-fics

[hiccanna-tidbits]

5, 6, 7 & 8 for OTP asks with Hiccanna!!

HELL YEAH BRO

Soulmate AU: Who is eager to meet their soulmate? Who absolutely does not want to meet their soulmate?

Anna, hopeless romantic and “true love” fanatic that she is, is incredibly down to meet her soulmate. One of her biggest fears is being inherently unlovable and that no one will ever love her for who she is (parents dying and sister shunning you has to leave some abandonment issues babyyyy), so she takes a lot of comfort in the idea of a soulmate--at least one person is basically certain to love her, right?

Hiccup, meanwhile, is apathetic at best and annoyed by the idea of a higher power dictating who his girlfriend is at worst. Unlike Anna, he doesn’t really fear no one will ever really love him for who he is--rather, he just accepts it as fact. Growing up with no friends and an emotionally-distant father, Hiccup came to believe that he was never going to feel the kind of deep, boundless love he’d seen between other people--and he made his peace with it. Being a more introverted scientist and inventor-type, Hiccup tends to spend a lot of time alone anyways and believes (maybe not fully accurately) that he prefers it that way. Besides, the logician in him thinks the whole “magic cosmic soulmate” thing is probably bullshit, and he just can’t figure out how something like soulmates could ever be backed or supported by modern science. Ultimately, Hiccup figures he’s going to date who he’s going to date (if he can even find any girls who are interested, that is), and he really couldn’t care less what the stars have to say about it.

When Hiccup and Anna do finally meet, and eventually start dating (knowing how shy and awkward they’d both be about confessing, it would take months to years after them meeting to actually get together, even in a goddamn soulmate AU), it isn’t revealed that they’re soulmates right away. Maybe it’s revealed by their hearts glowing a certain color when they first realize they’re in love with the other person? Idk. 

When Anna finds out they’re soulmates, she’s absolutely stoked. Like the girl probably runs around their home for a solid 15 minutes planning a soulmate reveal party or something. Hiccup, meanwhile, is just kind of like “Oh! Neat!” and then immediately goes back to whatever he was doing XD

Anna is a bit hurt that Hiccup is so, ah...unconcerned about them being literally destined to be together. She’s mainly worried that it means that he doesn’t like...cherish their connection enough and whatnot. After he picks up on the fact that she’s kind of upset about his definitive lack of a strong reaction to the whole thing, he explains to her that he didn’t really care because he’d 100% date Anna whether or not she was his soulmate. Saying their souls were deeply connected was basically just putting a formal title on what he already knew.

And Anna has to take a minute, because honestly? Hiccup confidently saying he’d be with her in any reality, even one where he risks angering cosmic forces to do so, is actually much more romantic than them being supposedly “fated for each other” since the beginning.

Single parent AU: Which one is the single parent? (Alt. if they’re both single parents: Which one is open to starting a new relationship from the start? Which one is never planning on finding love again… Until they meet the other and are instantly smitten?)

I think I’ll have Zephyr and Nuffink be the single parent kids because I Just Think They’re Neat! That, and I honestly can’t bear to make lovechildren for Anna with anyone but Hiccup XD (those of you who know me will know making Krist/anna lovechildren in any context is RIGHT OUT).

So in this AU things didn’t work out with Astrid and Hiccup is pretty heartbroken over it :( I imagine she ultimately left him because she wasn’t really feeling the spark anymore, and they have joint custody of the kids. Meanwhile, Hiccup and Anna were neighbors growing up, and were pretty close friends as kids until Anna moved away and they lost touch. She eventually comes back to their hometown as an adult, and she and Hiccup reconnect. They’re also both like “ah shit, my old buddy got HOT” XD

I actually think Anna and Zephyr would really hit it off, mainly because Anna sees a lot of what she loves the most about Hiccup in Zephyr. Zephyr has Hiccup’s anxiety, cynicism, inventive streak, overall social awkwardness--and because Anna knows Hiccup so well and knows how to best accommodate all of his quirks and oddities, it’s not hard for her to extrapolate how best to befriend a younger version of him XD Zephyr, meanwhile, has had trouble befriending kids her age due to her bluntness and general “nerdiness,” so she’s always happy to find someone who accepts her unconditionally and takes a genuine interest in her wacky inventions--even if it’s her dad’s new girlfriend, who by all accounts should be a weird person for her to get close to XD Zephyr also devours science books like they’re going out of style, and is very pleased that Anna is more than happy to listen to her ramble on and on about random science trivia. Zeph still loves her biological mom, for sure, but she starts thinking of Anna as a second mom. She brags to all the kids at school that she has two moms, which leaves them very confused and wondering if Astrid ended up marrying another woman after she divorced Hiccup (which, to be fair, wouldn’t be entirely out of character).

Nuffink, meanwhile, is a little more unsure about the whole situation, if mainly because I headcanon him as a bit of a mama’s boy. He doesn’t dislike Anna so much as he’s just...wary of her, and doesn’t know how to feel about his dad falling in love with someone who isn’t his mom. He also can’t help but feel out-of-place when he, Zephyr, Hiccup, and Anna go out on “family outings” because he kind of looks like he doesn’t belong. With her reddish-brown hair, her blue eyes, her aundance of freckles, and her fondness for wearing twin braids, Zephyr could definitely pass as Anna’s daughter (I’ve even seen Anna used as an older version of Zephyr in video edits, which is hilariously ironic). Although Nuffink has his dad’s eyes, he very much has his biological mom’s hair and doesn’t look like he’s related to Anna at all.

I think what helps them finally bond is that they both have a love of combat! Nuffink definitely does some kind of martial arts or fencing training if he can access it, and Anna is more than happy to teach him some swordplay and spar with him if he wants! Because Sword Anna is best Anna, fight me. Nuffink is also open-minded enough that hey, if his cool big sister likes someone that much, she can’t be that bad. Hiccup is just...continually super impressed with how much Anna knows about fighting--and it makes him fall all the more in love with her, because he loves that in a woman XD Once Nuffink warms up to Anna, he’s constantly trying to impress her ith how tough he is--mostly shown by him ramming his head into walls. Poor Anna worries about Nuffink a lot XD

I imagine there’s a little bit of tension between Anna and Astrid in this AU. Not really because Astrid resents Hiccup moving on--she’s actually pretty happy for Hiccup that he found someone better suited for him than her--but more because she worries Anna is trying to replace her as the kids’ “true mom” XD Anna, meanwhile, can’t help but resent Astrid a little for breaking Hiccup’s heart and doesn’t get why they kids can’t just have two moms! The more people who love them, the better, right???

I don’t imagine Anna and Hiccup having any biological kids in this AU, because I think two stepkids would be plenty for Anna! Of course, since Zephyr and Nuffink are Hiccup’s, she loves them with all her being and tries to be the best stepmom she can be. But I think having more than two kids would stress Anna’s ADHD ass the fuck out, and she doesn’t strike me as the sort of person who would feel a need to have biological kids with Hiccup if she already had Nuffink and Zephyr to parent. Our girl is perfectly happy adopting!

Doctor AU: Which one is the longsuffering doctor? Which one is the patient?

Hiccup is the long-suffering doctor, although not entirely by choice. Often he wonders if being a doctor is actually what he wanted, but his dad was like “WELL SON! YOU’RE SMART, SO YOU GOTTA BE A DOCTOR SO YOU MAKE BIG BUCKS!” (I’m headcanoning in this AU Stoick is a professional athlete of some kind, and has made BANK since he was young. He can’t really conceive of his son NOT pursuing a well-paid profession). Hiccup doesn’t really want to disappoint his rather intimidating dad, so he goes along with it.

It’s not that he dislikes it, when all is said and done. He does care about people and wants to help them, although he hides it underneath about 10 layers of snark. Still, it’s stressful and thankless work, and often he worries about whether he took the right path. Too late to pursue something else now, he supposes.

Then he meets Anna, rushed to the ICU with a collection of third-degree electrical burns. She tried to plug all of her Christmas light strings into the same power strip, and uh...it did not go well. Hiccup is there monitoring her vitals when she wakes up, and she just kind of wearily sighs and admits to him that living on her own wasn’t nearly as fun or exciting as she thought it would be. As it turned out, Anna had insisted she could be trusted with putting up her apartment’s holiday decorations, and she very much should not have been.

Anna ends up having to stay a couple weeks. She needs a small skin graft (yeah, she fucked herself up THAT bad), and then needs a bit of time for the surgery wounds to heal. Hiccup is assigned to do checkups on her regularly, and starts to look forward to it. Her perky disposition (despite being stuck in the hospital with burn wounds) is contagious, and she never fails to make him laugh after a long, draining shift. As stressful as his job is, Anna becomes his one respite.

He has to admit, it’s nice to have at least one thing to look forward to.

Hiccup is a little sad to see Anna go. Of course, bumbling, socially awkward foot-in-mouth fool that he is, he doesn’t have the courage to ask for her number so they can keep in touch. That would, uh...probably be unprofessional or something. Besides, it would probably crush his heart and soul if she was weirded out by his soft spot for her so like...maybe best not to even open himself up to the possibility.

Then, not two weeks later, Anna shows up at the hospital again--this time having broken three bones in a hiking accident. Apparently she got too excited about a particularly nice view, and toppled right off the top of a very steep bluff. He, once again, takes on her care, and is delighted (albeit guiltily) to have her back. He, once again, has something to make work not suck as much!

Oddly enough, this turns out to be the first of many hiking accidents. Anna comes in next month claiming to have nearly burned her arm off in a rogue campfire, and then again the next month claiming to have been mauled by a bear (although Hiccup is pretty sure those bleeding gashes were just left by a very big dog, and Anna is too embarrassed to admit it). Odder still, Hiccup distinctly remembers talking to Anna during her first hospital stay about how much he loved hiking and the outdoors, and now all of her new string of injuries just happen to be hiking-related. He can’t help but be baffled about how her insurance even covers all of this, but apparently having a family lineage distantly related to Norwegian royalty has its perks.

On roughly her 7th hospital stay, Hiccup finally gathers up the courage to ask Anna for her number, if only because he figures it would be nice for them to see each other without Anna having to nearly get herself killed first every time XD

Bodyguard AU: Who is the bodyguard? Who are they protecting? Which one is secretly pining for the other?

OMIGOD SO

I HAD AN IDEA FOR THIS

What if Anna was sent to bodyguard Hiccup in an AU where Arendelle is a lot more militaristic???

Basically what I'm thinking is that this is in an alternate timeline, Hiccup didn't injure Toothless's tail when he shot him down. The beginning of HTTYD plays out the same, but Toothless can still fly and just yeets off after Hiccup frees him, supposedly never to be seen again. However, this still leads Hiccup to believe he may not be dragon-fighting material after all. The poor boy still yearns to find a way to prove his worth to Berk, though.

As Hiccup gets older, his strength doesn't really improve, and it becomes clear to Stoick that he's always going to be pretty scrawny. Because of this, he's hesitant to put Hiccup in dragon training for the sake of his son's own safety--and hey, Hiccup seems to have lost interest in dragon-fighting anyhow, so it's not like Hiccup will fight him on it. Nonetheless, the dragon raids are getting worse, and Stoick worries about Hiccup being able to protect himself at all. Knowing most of the older villagers are busy with dragon-fighting and other jobs, and honestly doubting any of the village's teenagers would protect Hiccup if push came to shove, Stoick sends out an appeal of sorts to neighboring villages and kingdoms requesting a bodyguard for his skinny disaster of a son.

Back in Arendelle, shut-in princess Anna is surprised yet intrigued when a messenger from the Viking village of Berk shows up at Elsa's coronation. In a timeline where Hans and Anna don’t have their chance encounter, Hans sets his wooing sights on the newly-crowned Queen Elsa (and fails), and no push ends up being strong enough to make Elsa lose control of her powers at the ceremony. Anna, however, still feels hurt by her sister’s seemingly reasonless rebuke earlier in the evening and finds herself aching to explore the world outside her castle and be close with someone--anyone--again.

When the Viking messenger requests a bodyguard for the Chief of Berk’s son, Anna is quick to volunteer. The messenger scoffs at first, but to his surprise, the soft-looking princess isn’t entirely unqualified. She filled many of her long, empty childhood hours training with the Arendelle guard, and her swordplay is admirable. To prove her worth, Anna faces off with one of the Berkian warriors in a duel--and holds her own shockingly well. While Queen Elsa is hesitant to let her sister run off to a faraway nation, Anna vehemently insists that Arendelle doesn’t need two monarchs, and this will be great for diplomatic relations in the long run. Of course, she also longs to explore and get away from the place she’s been trapped her entire life, but Elsa doesn’t need to know that part.

When Anna arrives in Arendelle, Hiccup has absolutely no idea what to make of his new bodyguard. On the one hand, a girl who’s good with a sword is hot, and he’s long since given up on Astrid anyways. On the other hand, Hiccup is definitely irked that his dad sees him as so weak and incapable that he’s the only Viking in the village who needs a full-on bodyguard, and he hates feeling like he’s being babied and coddled (not that this is Anna’s fault). Still, his bodyguard is essentially the only person who’s ever seemed to actually want to be friends with him in...well, his whole life, and honestly? He’ll take it.

Anna, meanwhile, still aching for love and connections of really any kind, is nigh-instantly smitten. His brains, his creativity, his constant snide jokes, his snark-coated good heart, his weird, messy hairdo--all of it has an 18-year-old Anna completely over the moon. Hiccup, feeling hopeless in the world of romance after being rejected by Astrid, is honestly just relieved to finally have a friend--to the point that it doesn’t even occur to him that Anna’s a girlfriend option.

Not long after she arrives in Berk, Anna is put into dragon training to prepare for raids. She does a bit of training of her own with Hiccup, teaching him some swordplay to try and boost his confidence. It’s not hard to tell that he has mixed feelings about having to have a protector, and Anna hopes that by teaching him some basic fighting skills he can at least feel a little better if he’s ever in a situation where she isn’t there to defend him.

As she gets deeper into her dragon training, Anna asks Hiccup why he never gave dragon training a go. Granted, him being as physically small as he is would be a disadvantage, but he could still learn to hold his own decently well using speed and stealth. It would help him be able to protect himself, if nothing else. Hiccup seems very reluctant to talk about the whole subject, but he says Anna needs to trust that he knows he can’t kill dragons. He tends to give the shortest answers possible to her questions, and nigh-instantly changes the subject. When Anna presses too much, he gets snippy.

As they get closer, Hiccup finally opens up to Anna about the time he shot down a Night Fury and couldn’t bring himself to make the final kill. He admits to cutting the creature free, and how the dragon nearly killed him--only to spare Hiccup just as Hiccup had spared him. “I saw more than just a ruthless killer when I looked into that dragon’s eye,” Hiccup tells her. “I saw myself. I think there’s so much more to them than anyone knows, but...you’re the only person I feel like would actually give me the benefit of the doubt on that.”

During the next raid, Anna pays closer attention to the dragons than before. She watches how they interact with the villagers, and notice that they never seem to go out of their way to go after people. They only fight Vikings when Vikings initiate, and the dragons’ main concern always seems to be taking sheep and fish. Left to their own devices, they don’t seem to want to hurt anyone.

Unfortunately, Anna standing off to the side and trying to watch what all the dragons are doing leaves her distracted--and vulnerable. She’s not prepared for a camouflaged changewing to melt out of the wall behind her, whipping around and backing her into a corner. Anna grabs for her sword but can hardly move, frozen in terror as the massive dragon stares her down.

She holds up an arm, bracing herself for a wall of fire, but none comes. There’s a swish of wings and a gust of wind blows her back. When she looks up, the dragon is gone.

It would’ve been beyond easy for the dragon to kill her. The creature clearly saw her--could have taken advantage in her moment of frozen stupor and burned her to a crisp. And yet...the dragon spared her. Just like the Night Fury had spared Hiccup.

Anna realizes Hiccup might be onto something.

Together, Hiccup and Anna decide they’re going to get to the bottom of what dragons are really like--and why they’re stealing the village’s food. While claiming to go out for “battle practice,” Hiccup and Anna track down dragons and study them in secret--observing them, writing about them, seeing how they behave and how they interact with one another. They’re surprised by what they see: left to their own devices, dragons are good-natured and compassionate, and they take care of their own. Strangely, they never seem to feed the stolen food to their young. Hiccup predicts they’re not actually keeping it for themselves, and taking it somewhere nigh unreachable for humans. For what actual purpose is anyone’s guess.

Anna starts using the info she gathers observing dragons with Hiccup in dragon-training. She finds ways to sooth them and calm them down in the ring by using things they seem to enjoy in the wild. Scented grass, bits of fish, soft touches, slow, gentle movements. The village marvels at her newfound skills, and can’t help but wonder where she developed such a knack for controlling dragons despite spending basically all her time around “Stoick’s little runt.” She couldn’t be training with him, of all people...could she? Astrid, for one, is definitely none too pleased about her spot at the top of the class being threatened.

Meanwhile, Anna and Hiccup can’t help but grow fond of the dragons they watch. They start becoming more bold, and leaving snacks of trout and mutton for the scaled creatures. Anna is delighted when the food ends up attracting none other than what she’s pretty sure is the same changewing who spared her, as well as a curious snaptrapper. She’s never gotten to see a snaptrapper up close before, and is completely undeterred by the triple-jawed four heads. Rather, she is far more preoccupied with coming up with the perfect name for each head.

“Omigod, he’s so PRETTY! And he smells like CHOCOLATE!”

“...you know they probably emit that scent to lure in prey so they can slice it in three, right?”

“CHOCOLATE, HICCUP!!!”

With each new meal, the local dragons grow more and more comfortable with Hiccup and Anna. After a while, the changewing and the snaptrapper even let Anna touch their noses. Anna falls in love with watching the changewing seem to melt around the forest as she camouflages, and rolling in the mud with the snaptrapper after a summer storm. Hiccup starts catching what seems to be glimpses of the Night Fury he freed, and it appears that the curious creature has come back to investigate him.

The Night Fury appears more and more, drawn in by Hiccup’s trout feast. Hiccup notices the dragon’s wing is injured, likely shot by someone from the village. Although he’s not completely helpless, he’s having trouble. Hiccup sets to work on his most daring project yet--making a “brace” of sorts that can mend the ripped wing.

When Hiccup and Anna attempt to distract the Night Fury long enough to climb up and put the wing brace on, something unexpected happens. The dragon shoots up to the sky, both unwitting passengers clinging onto his tail for dear life.

Once they get their bearings and clamber up to his back, the Night Fury (who Hiccup has nicknamed “Toothless” for his retractable teeth) takes them on a flight through the clouds. Unable to help herself, Anna laces her arms around Hiccup’s waist--if only so she can supposedly “hold on better.”

Hiccup, of course, still doesn’t get it.

The flight takes a sinister turn when Toothless takes them to the dragon nest, and Hiccup finally gets his answer about where all of the villages food has been going--to their queen. Unsure what to do or how to free their new friends from the Red Death, Hiccup and Anna promise each other one thing or sure--none of the rest of Berk can know about the dragon nest. If they attack it, it spells disaster for both dragons and Vikings--not to mention the question of how they got there is sure to dig up their secret dragon-related activities as of late.

With each dragon raid, Anna finds herself more and more reluctant to fight dragons--especially now that she knows what’s actually going on. She only does the bare minimum to protect the food and the village, never going out of her way to attack a dragon or landing a killing blow (although by this point, she’d definitely be skilled enough to). During one particularly intense raid, Anna is finding it harder and harder to fend dragons off without doing lethal damage. While driving out a particularly tenacious monstrous nightmare, Anna happens upon the same changewing she’s befriended in the forest, limping to safety.

It would be incredibly easy to finish the dragon off, but Anna refuses. The dragon knows she’s beat, and so Anna lets her leave without so much as a swing of the princess’s sword.

Unfortunately, Astrid sees.

After the raid, Astrid storms up to Anna and chews her out in front of the whole village, yelling about how weak she was to not go for a dragon kill when she had the chance. It turns out Astrid’s also been noticing Anna going intentionally easy on the dragons, and how much the Arendelle princess seems to hold back when fighting him. Astrid knows it’s not physical incompetence, or a lack of skill--she’s seen Anna subdue plenty of dragons in training.

No, it seems to be the princess’s heart that’s weak. Her kingdom must be nothing but a bunch of bleeding-hearted morons, and she’ll never be tough enough to really belong in Berk.

As he watches Astrid yell and the Berkians all turn to sneer at the scene, Hiccup feels a sudden rush of protectiveness for his friend. Tears are starting to form in the corners of her eyes, and something gives in him seeing her subjected to the very ostracization that left him completely alone for so many years.

He walks up beside Anna, and suddenly he’s shouting like he’s never quite had the courage to before.

“You’re wrong, Astrid! You’re all wrong!”

Before long, he’s spilling everything--how dragons are intelligent and caring creatures, how they’re only stealing food to feed a ruthless queen, how he’s sure humans have killed far more dragons than vice versa. The village stares, horrified. When Stoick storms forward, Hiccup and Anna know it’s nothing good.

Stoick is disgusted. The very bodyguard he had brought all the way out to Berk to give his son strength did nothing but fill Hiccup’s head with softness and dangerous lies. He banishes Anna, warning her never to set foot in Berk or speak to his son again.

Hiccup will not have it. He says if Anna’s leaving, he’s coming with her. He’s made his choice, and he’s standing by the only person who ever really treated him with unconditional love and kindness.

“Fine,” Stoick says simply. “We’ll be rid of two traitors, then.”

Cast out from Berk, Hiccup and Anna find themselves with a new mission: Find the nest before the rest of Berk does, and take out the Red Death once and for all.

With the help of Toothless, the Changewing (who Anna has nicknamed “Flicker”), and the Snaptrapper (whose heads Anna have very creatively named Leafy, Greeny, Spiky, and Badbreath. It’s beyond Hiccup how she tells all of them apart, but she’s very adamant about which is which.), they find the dragon hive again, and attempt the impossible--attacking the queen. It seems hopeless at first, but once more and more malcontented dragons see what they’re doing, they join in and rebel.

It’s a tough fight, but the two humans and the revolting dragons come out on top. Not before the Red Death has one last hurrah, though--letting out a final, massive blast of fire that knocks Hiccup askew and sends him tumbling down into the flames. Toothless, Flicker, Anna, and the Snaptrapper dive after, and are quickly engulfed in red and orange.

Meanwhile, the Berkians have sent out ships following Hiccup, Anna, and their dragons, guessing the nest is where they were headed. By the time they get there, the fight is over--and Stoick and Gobber just manage to catch a glimpse of Hiccup plummeting into the flames.

Anna screams Hiccup’s name until the smoke burns her throat so much she can’t anymore. She remembers swooping underneath him and just managing to grab hold of his limp body before everything goes dark.

When she comes to later, it’s still dark--but she feels something soft and warm in her arms, and feels scales pressed against her back. Her arm is searing with pain, but she barely notices it as her eyes adjust to the darkness. Hiccup is curled up against her--groaning, but alive.

Not sure she’ll ever get another chance, she puts a hand on his cheek and finally tells him the truth. “I love you.”

He opens his eyes and looks, gaze shocked until a slow realization washes over him. He smiles. “I love you, too.”

They both pass out, still wrapped up in each other.

When the flames clear, Stoick sees what looks like a pile of dragons, all pressed together with their wings folded in. Slowly, they lift their wings to reveal two humans--charred in places, but alive.

Wracked with guilt, Stoick realizes he was wrong. Hiccup’s new bodyguard helped his son become stronger and braver than the chief of Berk ever imagined.

It turns out taking down the queen saved the dragons and the humans, and thanks to Hiccup, Anna, and their dragon friends, Berk will never have to worry about dragon raids again.

It turns out Hiccup’s leg and Anna’s arm didn’t quite make it out of the fire. Luckily, Gobber has always been handy at prosthetics--and Hiccup manages to make a fairly dextrous and functional metal hand for Anna. Anna is utterly delighted with how cool it looks.

After the whole Red Death incident, it’s decided that Hiccup is probably competent enough that he doesn’t need his own bodyguard anymore. Nonetheless, Anna is welcome to stay in Berk as long as she likes. And with new dragon friends and an incredibly cute new boyfriend, she’s not going anywhere anytime soon!

***

This is in reference to this post! I’ve already done these questions for Moanida. Theoretically still willing to do any questions I haven’t yet for Hiccanna and Moanida, although these were exhausting to write out so I might not give as long of answers XD

[excitedlysuffering]

Deidara Headcanons Collection

Oh god I’m like minutes from being too late but HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEI🥺❤️😍

What He Looks For In A S/O~

• He would most likely want someone who was an artist, cuz he needs someone who understands and relates to his passion and will challenge him on perspectives (respectfully, ofc)

• Needs someone who is as active as he is, he could not deal with someone who wanted to stay home all the time

• Dei is a wild child so whether he knows it or not, he’s going to need someone to balance him out with a more calm/logical outlook on life

• But that’s not to say he wants to date a square cause that’s a big fat LIE

• He needs an S/O who’s able to keep with his spontaneous attitude and mood swings

• He’d probably be drawn to the innocence of his S/O, he’s seen and done a lot of hard things in his life so would love to be able to leave the darkness behind around you

• If his S/O was a shinobi he’d be relieved cause they can take care of themselves, but he would also want to accompany you on missions because this boy can WORRY

• If you’re not a shinobi, he wouldn’t mind all that much cause he doesn’t have to be concerned with you getting injured on missions, but he would want to teach you the basics defense combat

• This boy just needs some love with a capital L, tbh

Relationship With Dei Stuff~

• He’s surprisingly empathetic and can pick on your emotions/moods quite easily but that doesn’t mean he always acts on it

• He’s a naturally happy person so negative emotions are a bit hard to deal with

• If you’re just grumpy, he’ll just stay out of your way (a bit) but if you’re really struggling or on suffering through Satan’s Week he’ll try to do his best to comfort you

• (be patient with him)

• Even though he can’t take you out on dates to the city like he wants to, he’ll improvise

• Boi isn’t an artist for no reason

• Ofc he takes you out to see his art and to fly on his creations, but he’s a romantic at heart and loves cheesy cliches

• Watching the sunset on picnics

• If he’s free camping in the forest

• Or just art dates where you guys will find a common project and will work on it together

• Bonus points towards you if you and Sasori can at least tolerate each other

• They might never admit out loud, but they are best friends

• Even if no one could ever tell

• The three of you are around each other a lot so if you and Sasori are always arguing or getting on each other’s nerves your relationship could suffer a little because of it

• LOVES to spoil you. Like just because

• If you and Dei are dating, you two make a great team whether it’s art collabs, missions, or just life in general

• He can be a real sweetheart and is more sensitive than people give him credit for so if you just love on this boy you’ll have him forever

How To Lose/Annoy Him~

• Insulting or just plain not acknowledging his art goes without saying, I would think

• I haven’t seen this mentioned before, but hating on or trying to avoid his mouth hands. Although they’re a huge part of his life they’re also strange so he can be a bit insecure

• Being insensitive about his speech tic (un, yeah, hm) he’s already come to term with them, but he doesn’t need you, or anyone else rubbing it in

• As stated earlier, not being able to get along with Sasori, or him just generally disapproving of you more than he does the average person

• Being overly clingy. Example, when he’s working on his art and you’re all over him, infringing on his special time

• Playing hard to get or trying to make him jealous. Dei is naturally impatient so it makes no sense as to why you’re trying to get a rise out of him. He can pretty blunt and he expects you to just come out and say it if something is bothering you.

• Slightly nsfw, but pulling on his hair. He doesn’t like his hair being ripped out in the slightest

• Being friends with Tobi

Soft Deidara Things~

• Definitely one for matching shirts (i.e His= Art is a bang! Yours= I’m a bang!)

• He loves to just cuddle up with you after a long day, no words he’ll just collapse on you

• PLAY. WITH. HIS. HAIR.

• Brush it, braid it, comb it, whatever, but it’ll soothe the heck outta him

• He really loves to pick out your clothes. Dei is a fashion master and he loves seeing you in clothes he likes

• Will be that one person to sleep crazy to the point of kicking you off the bed. Now you sleep literally on top of him so he’s pretty still

• Loves to wake up before you to look at you like ‘wow she loves me??’

• Can actually cook really well (i mean he did live on his own for a while) and loves having you try new recipes he’s come up with

• Just loves being around you, you’re presence can calm him like no other

Random Dei Facts~

• His love language is a mix of words of affirmation and physical touch

• As much as he likes to go go go, he also appreciates a good nap here or there

• He’s bad at taking care of himself like he’s on the brink of artistic genius and he’ll genuinely forget to eat or sleep

• Has a big thing for music, whether it’s a song or just instrumental he loves the environment it brings

• He doesn’t quite have PTSD, but somethings do trigger him or make him anxious. You just can’t live like he does and not be effected

• That one scene where he’s recruited and is under Itachi’s Sharingan/genjutsu and calls Itachi art and then is repulsed by the thought really makes me think that one of Dei’s biggest fears is thinking/realizing someone’s art is better than his own

• He isn’t religious but is a strong believer in fate, karma, and such things

• Contrary to popular belief, he doesn’t use his hand mouths for anything other than art. Those are his art tools, his partners, and he’d be much too weirded out to use them for anything different

• He’s like a scarily healthy eater. Not necessarily vegetarian/vegan but is a calorie counter and has a very balanced diet

• He loves to do little not so harmless pranks on Itachi as mini revenge. He’s even more ruthless as Itachi begins to lose his eyesight

Little Things~

Favorite:

• Place to kiss- Behind your ear because he loves hugging you from behind and surprising you

• Way to hug- As previously stated, from behind cuz he feels like he’s protecting you and you fit in his arms like a puzzle

• Thing to do with you- Discuss or work on art projects together or in each other’s general vicinity

• Cuddle position- Lotus (you in his lap, facing him, your legs around his waist) cause he just loves to hold you and you can easily mess with his hair

• Type of date- Anything that’s just the two of you spending quality time away from his busy life

This or That-

• More of a summer person, he loves the outdoors, even more now that he has someone to share it with

• Definitely a night person. He gets more done at night but also loves being able to unwind with you

• Likes to cook more than being cooked for, cause he likes treating you

• Is not much of a reader, it can’t hold his attention for long, but occasionally will ask you to read to him if he likes the sound of your voice. He does

Conflict Happenings~

• Passionate and Stubborn Boi™

• If you’re also headstrong, there will be plenty of arguments, usually over small things

• Best case scenario, something says something that makes you both laugh and problem solved or you end up making out (cuz oh my jashin scowling Deidara can step on my NECK)

• Worst case scenario, someone storms out and you don’t talk for a bit

• When he wants he can give a verbal tongue lashing harsh enough to make anyone cower

• Eventually, one of you will cave. You miss each other too much and even art isn’t filling the void

• Apologies are mumbled but heartfelt as to not bruise either of your egos but also cuz you’re both genuinely sorry

• However, if you’re not confrontational, it might actually cause him to mellow out a bit (only around you though)

• He can’t bring himself to have a one-sided argument with you. It makes him feel guilty and does a lot of damage

• Instead, he might actually talk things out, courtesy of self-calming techniques you probably showed him at one point

Modern Dei~

• He’s that one college student that is at every party but still gets great grades??

•!He has a double major for sure, art and chemistry, cause how else is he going to make perfect explosions?

• If he wasn’t recruited to a sports team (I could see him doing gymnastics or wrestling honestly) then you had best believe he’s a serious martial artist

• He’s smart and sells (non-explosive) sculptures for money on the side

• He loves road trips, doesn’t care as much about the destination, he just loves driving places

• A serious ride or die friend, like loyal to a fault, but if you ruin that he won’t make any efforts to restore it

• Incredibly independent and struggles to ask for help even if he’s bad at a particular subject

•’CEO of completing assignments the night before its due and still acing it

• His living space is purely organized chaos like everything has it’s own system even if it looks like a mess

• Wouldn’t mind having a roommate, but he’s also used to living alone so he’s fine either way

• If he did, it’d probably be Sasori, cause he’s one of the only people who could TRULY handle Dei 24/7 (barely)

• Isn’t an overachiever, but just like with art, if someone’s going to see his work, it’s going to be his best work

• Even when his friends drink, he’s not that big on it. Feels like it hinders his inspiration and he gets AWFUL hangovers and can barely handle it

• Modern Dei is a great Dei, cause no matter what our blonde baby is best. Period.

[olivay-official]

Scenes from Red: The Untold Story of a Reluctant Hero

Jay is just your average college student with a secret superhero identity. The deep underground crime world knows her as Red, a sarcastic pain in the ass hero who is annoyingly good at stopping their nefarious activities despite being terrible at her job. Though not what one might typically imagine as a hero Oliver, aka Napster, gladly took up the role of her techs sidekick cleaning up the messes left in her wake. Despite how closely they work together Oliver is clueless to Red’s true identity, while Jay struggles to act normal around him in civilian form. Balancing a social life with friends with the looming threat of Suped up villains created by a mad scientist with the face of a lizard isn’t easy and Jay and Oliver definitely make it look much harder than it is.

“Would you put away your phone? This is supposed to be a tech free weekend!” Andre made a grab for Jackie’s phone. She pulled away holding it close to her chest.

“And I promise I will put it away when we get there!” She shot back.

“Why are you so big on camping Andre?” I called from the backseat.

“Dude, some of my best memories were camping with my brothers and pops. And I think that we can all do with getting out of the city for a few days.” Andre looked at all three of us pointedly.

“Really all I remember from camping was having to pee in a hole, and getting eaten alive by bugs,” I answered bitterly. I wondered absentmindedly if my blood would make a super mosquito now.

“I remember trying to go camping with my mom once, then a bear ate our food so we ended up leaving and getting breakfast at a diner,” Jackie giggled.

“I’ve never been before,” Oliver said quietly.

“Lucky you,” I muttered.

“What?!” Andre practically screeched. “Oh no you girls aren’t going to ruin this for Oliver. Oliver my boy you are about to get the full camping experience!” Andre said exuberantly. I rolled my eyes as I dug a soda out of the cooler in the backseat.

“Hey what are you doing, those are for the camping trip!” Andre said indignantly.

“Well then it’s a good thing I packed extra!” I grinned as I popped the tab of the can with an overdramatic display of defiance.

“Seriously Jay! I had everything planned! You guys have no faith in me!” Andre waved his hand in frustration.

“Are you kidding me? Do you know how much this girl eats? She could eat all four portions of food you packed for us and then some,” Jackie snorted. Oliver smiled looking around at the three of us as he relaxed into his seat. I watched him for a second, curious. He looked at ease, happy even as he looked between Andre and Jackie but behind his eyes there was an odd mix of worry and anticipation. He checked his phone several times within a few minutes as if he was waiting for something. I smiled finally realizing what he was waiting for. He was worried that Red would need him even though I had told him Red would be gone til Tuesday. His phone would lose service as soon as we started winding up some of the backroads and his connection to Red would be cut off or so he thought anyways. I wished I could tell him it would be fine but I had already told him once as Red. There was nothing more I could do here.

The rest of the car ride went by much like that. We played music belting out the classics from our high school days, we talked about old camping memories, and Jackie and I shared stories from our childhood the humor of which was completely lost on Andre and Oliver. Andre complained about Jackie and Oliver being on their phones. Oliver complained about my laying across all the backseats including the one he occupied. Jackie complained when Andre shut off her music trading it for a much more classic form of music- the CD. Many of which were burned and included songs in no particular order that only Andre recognized. We had three phone calls from Enzo on the way up who was worried he would get lost and at least two pitstops for me to pee. During the drive I had consumed three cans of soda, a bag of chips and a burrito I had picked up at a food truck. Andre complained about my eating habits and I threw wrappers at him. All in all it was a good time.

When we got to the campsite Enzo was already there, tent set up.

“Sorry we are late, someone made us stop for a burrito on the way here.” Andre glared at me.

“Damn you’re probably not hungry then,” Enzo said holding up a bag of takeout from my favorite burrito place. I swear I fell in love with him right there.

“I am always hungry,” I beamed at him.

“No you are helping us unpack first,” Andre demanded. I rolled my eyes at Andre and gave an apologetic smile to Enzo.

I followed Andre back to the car so that we could unpack all our crap. I opted for the large cooler in the back seat. It was a heavy item but with my abilities it would hardly be a problem. I had only managed to pull the container about three quarters of the way out the car when someone came up behind me, their hand brushing mine as they took the container from my grasp. The rest of the cooler came sliding out the car. His hand reached over me to grab the other handle just in time.

“Careful.” Oliver smiled at me. “This probably weighs more than you,” He chuckled. I put my hands on my hips.

“I had it,” I said confidently. Oliver smirked.

“I’m sure you did but why don’t I just carry it instead yeah? You can grab the firewood.” He smiled at me that infuriatingly adorable smile. I stared at him for a moment fixing him with a stern look before I walked over to the back of the trunk. He raised his eyebrows in anticipation. I fixed him with a glare before I dared reaching into the trunk to pull out the bags of firewood. Balancing one in each arm I started to walk back to the campsite with Oliver in tow struggling with the weight of the cooler.

“Want to trade?” I teased.

“As much as I’d love to see you carry this, I think I got it,” He said with a sardonic hint to his tone. I shrugged and kept walking at a much faster pace than he could manage with the clunky weight of the cooler. I enjoyed watching him struggle to keep up. We crossed paths with Enzo and Andre who were heading back to get the remainder of the food and supplies.

Oliver set the cooler down at the edge of the campsite with a grunt. A thin sheen of perspiration dotted his forehead. I admired the site as he rolled up the sleeves of his fitted black thermal shirt over his lean arms. He ran a hand through his dark hair letting it fall back down in shaggy disarray ends pointing in all different directions. I busied myself with arranging the uneven bags of firewood so they wouldn’t fall all the while letting myself peak up at Oliver. He really did look good in black. His deep eyes met mine, I managed a half smile before letting my eyes drop back down to the firewood, finalizing their arrangement.

I was by no means a camper. I liked having running water and actual toilets. Mostly the toilets because who the fuck enjoys squatting in a bush to go to the bathrrom completely exposed and vulnerable to attack by bear or an unhinged deer.

Growing up camping had never been a part of my childhood experiences needless to say I should be out of my element here. Thanks to my powers, however, I was a galdamn pro. A few helpful survivalist videos, and several episodes of naked and afraid later and I could probably survive out here on my own for months. I set up mine and Jackie’s tent in record time while the boys were tangled in heaps of collapsable sticks trying to find which end to start with. While they struggled Jackie and I busied ourselves with making our camping space comfortable. Just because we were camping did not mean Jackie was going to give up all the luxuries of a home. She had made me drag her mattress topper here and just about a dozen blankets and pillows on top of the sleeping bags.

“Damn that’s romantic, you aren’t trying to seduce me are you?” I asked, giving her a quick wink.

“You wish!” Jackie laughed.

“When you’re done hitting on my girlfriend would you mind helping us out here Jay?” Andre asked from under the tent’s tarp.

“I thought you were such a big camper Andre.” I rolled my eyes. “Wouldn’t want to ruin your trip by getting in the way.”

“You’re the absolute worst.”

When we finally got all set up and situated Andre began packing bags for a hike. He was determined to give us the campiest of camping experiences apparently. Andre took the lead, compass in hand, with the rest of us in tow. Enzo fell in step behind me. The trail was only big enough to walk along single file. Andre’s hiking style was hard to keep up with. Some moments without warning he would turn on a dime shifting directions and surging forward.

The final destination of the hike was a small waterfall. I had to hand it to Andre. It was a pretty picturesque spot. We sat down to have lunch but I had other plans. I was hot and sweaty from the hike and that water looked damn good. I quickly started stripping down.

“Jay! Seriously!” Andre shouted at me. I rolled my eyes.

“Don’t worry I’ll keep my panties on,” I winked at him which he did not find amusing. I dove into the water and almost immediately regretted it. The water was fucking freezing. When I broke the surface Andre was looking smugly at me.

“Cold isn’t it? You’re an idiot,” Andre said.

“Worth it!” I said through chattering teeth. I’d be damned if I’d admit I was wrong to Andre. I swam around in the water despite the cold finding myself a nice sun baked spot of water that wasn’t too terrible.

“Jackie, that’s literally snow run off,” Andre warned. I didn’t need to open my eyes to know the splash of water was Jackie joining me. We both laughed. Oliver and Enzo looked at each other finally both shrugging. They stripped down and attempted lifting Andre into the air - he was forced to strip or get his clothes wet. Finally we were all in the water and for the first time in a long time shit felt totally normal. No super villains lurked in the woods to demand my attention. There was no Red or Napster. It was just me and my friends and it was so nice to play normal even if only for a few days.

I was shivering by the time we got out of the water to dry off. Enzo stayed close to me doing his best to warm me up, offering me his jacket that he’d been smart enough to bring on the hike. While I laid out on the warm rocks trying to get my body temp back up Enzo went back to our bags to get us food. Oliver flopped out of the water and onto the rock next to me.

“I think I like camping,” He said shaking water out of his hair. I laughed.

“Please don’t tell Andre that, he’ll want us to go every week,” I said.

“Is there a reason you love torturing him?” He asked.

“I mean other than the fact that it’s so darn fun? Andre and I lived together for like a week Freshman year, there was a mixup with the dorms. Since then we have been great friends but our friendship is based on the fact that we love torturing eachother,” I said.

“You and Andre lived in a dorm together?” Oliver raised his eyebrows and laughed.

“Oh yeah I probably know more about his deep dark secrets than you do,” I said.

“And you introduced him to Jackie?” He asked.

“Yup! Really he has me to thank for his happy relationship,” I beamed. Oliver smiled at me turning back towards the waterfall. I tried to ignore the way the water glistened off his body. I turned back to the water.

“He picked a really good spot,” Oliver said.

“Yeah as much as I hate to admit it, he did a good job. Probably wanted to impress Jackie,” I said.

“Well I’d say he picked one hell of a romantic set up,” Oliver mused. I glanced over at Oliver ready to fire off a smart remark but the words died on my tongue. Oliver was already staring at me, his eyes running over the curve of my body. The sun was starting to get lower creating an orange glow that framed him like a greek god. His eyes caught mine and he cleared his throat quickly looking away. A light blush colored his cheeks. My face felt warm as I looked away.

Great, that was sufficiently awkward.

I only hoped the orange light of the sunset might hide the blush creeping across my own face.

The sound of a branch snapping caused me to straighten, muscles tensing. My eyes narrowed as I stared out into the forest searching.

“What was that?” I whispered to myself.

“Probably a deer or something,” Oliver attempted to sound nonchalant about it but I could see his body stiffen at the sound and refuse to relax.

There was a rustling in the bushes. I stood in a fighting stance. What I was planning to do if it was a bear or something I don’t know, maybe punch it in the nose. More rustling. Then everything happened in a blur. A woman emerged from the underbrush looking half crazed. Under her skin her veins flowed orange and red like molten fire. Her irises were the same glowing color, the sclera pitch black. The smell of burning hair filled the air. She looked scared out of her mind and in agonizing pain but that didn’t stop her from lunging at me like the last shrimp at a buffet.

“Help me! It burns!” She cried. The woman grabbed hold of my arms. Her touch seared my skin burning my arms. I hissed in pain rearing back and punching the woman square in the jaw. She stumbled back.

I shook out my hand cursing under my breath. Her skin burned to touch. The woman surged forward again tackling me to the ground. I cried out in both fury and pain as we hit the ground. I kicked the woman off of me and up over my head. I scrambled to my feet. The woman’s hand caught my bare ankle causing me to scream. Oliver was there, shouldering the woman into the shallowest part of the lake. Steam hissed as she his the surface. She let out a horrible screech struggling to get out of the shallow depths. I whipped around and clocked her square in the face, hard enough to knock her out, silencing her screams. She landed on the shore skin still sizzling.

“Ah Fuck!” I shouted as I shook out my hand and bounced around on one foot. Of the injuries my ankle was definitely fairing the worst. Heat and pain pulsed through the seared flesh with each heartbeat.

Everyone finally came running over to us their eyes bulging out of their head when they landed on the unconscious woman that lay at my feet. Enzo was next to me in a second wrapping his arms around my shoulders and pulling me to him.

“What the hell just happened?!” Andre asked.

“Hell if we know. She jumped out at us from the woods,” Oliver said kneeling down next to her. Suddenly the woman’s eyes snapped open. She locked onto Oliver.

“Burning!! He promised it wouldn’t hurt! Now it burns! Please-” She grabbed Oliver’s hand. I could see the pain in his face but he didn’t pull away from her touch. “Please make it stop,” The woman begged her voice strained and hoarse. With those final words her eyes closed and her grip on Oliver’s hand relaxed. He removed his hand from hers. He held his good hand up to her mouth and shook his head.

“I think she’s gone,” He whispered. Carefully he moved her head to the side and tilted his head inspecting a single mark on her neck. Looking over his shoulder I immediately knew what it was. My hand came up to touch the invisible injection site. The one that gave me my powers…

“We better call someone. I’ll go see if I can find some service,” Andre said. Jackie clung to him not wanting him to be alone and not wanting to lose the comfort of having him near. Enzo guided me away from the body to sit on the rocks once again. He made me show him my ankle which had cooked meat hanging off of it, turns out I did not smell like barbecue. Oliver came over to us with the first aid kit cradled in his good hand. While Oliver went about treating his hand, Enzo cared for my injuries. Other than my ankle my knuckles had burn blisters splayed across them from where I hit her. My arms however were mostly unharmed.

When the authorities finally showed up it went without saying that the camping trip was officially over.

[ahoeinplainsight]

james headcanons that are important to me

- has the WORST insomnia

- never sleeps at night but always sleeping during the day

- you will never catch this boy awake in history of magic

- used to chain smoke but when he started dating lily, he stopped because he knew she didn’t like the smell of it

- sirius stopped smoking as well because he didn’t want to tempt james into smoking again

- bisexual king

- until the day he died, he would’ve been completely fine marrying sirius and even in the afterlife

- literally has the BEST friendship with sirius it’s not even funny like everybody is so jealous

- mother hen :’) 

- since he never sleeps at night, he’s always awake at the crack of dawn and is always waking the boys up with him

- “if i don’t see feet on the ground in thirty seconds, i’m opening the curtains!’

- “don’t you make me count to three, mister!”

- “sirius get out of the bathroom, peter needs to pee and he can’t hold it anymore” “you didn’t have to tell him that james!” “we’re all men here, peter, grow up and learn how to tell people you need to pee”

- super smart 

- loves the library but refuses to admit that he does

- once quoted shakespeare at lily and later, she told him it was one of the reasons she fell in love with him

- actually has really good sportsmanship

- like of course he gets super butthurt when he loses anything but he makes sure to tell the other player or players that they did a good job 

- literally the nicest asshole you’ll ever meet

- like he’ll hit your books out of your hands and then help you pick them up

- resorts to physical violence because “it gets the job done faster moony don’t lecture me”

- has punched snape before but only because he called sirius privileged and james was not having it

- has a toad at home

- never told anybody about the toad (her name is cecilia and he loves her very much) so when sirius moved in and saw the toad vibing on his window sill, he flipped his shit

- cecilia pees on sirius every time he picks her up but it never stops him

- james is sure sirius loves cecilia more than he himself does

- when remus and peter find out about cecilia, they also flip their shit

- cecilia becomes the marauders mascot

- lily finds out halfway through seventh year that they have a mascot and it’s a toad named cecilia and teases them endlessly about it

- also has a cat at home

- his name is sandwich (james named him when he was four) and he’s best friends with cecilia

- the potter family owl is named odessa (james calls her dessy) and she hates james but james loves her

- he had a crush on regulus in his fifth year and never told a soul. remus knew but didn’t say anything

- his friendship with remus :’)

- it was his idea to become animagi (he read about it in a book) and it was also his idea for the map

- he did a lot of the charm work on the map

- there were a lot of ‘hypothetical’ questions for flitwick during this time period and flitwick was all too happy to answer them

- took ancient runes and arithmancy from third year to seventh and made an O in both

- took divination in third year with sirius, remus, and peter but he was the hermione in that group

- while remus, sirius, and peter were like ‘alright i can dig it’ with divination, james was getting SO heated about it 

- for the remainder of their school career, he made sure to tell them all the flaws in divination at any chance he could

- lily was super into divination, though, just because she thought it was really interesting and there were too many instances of it being real to be counted as coincidences, and james literally almost imploded when he found this out

- when they heard the prophecy for the first time, james literally stood up and left lmao

- “i’m not believing some bullshit prophecy that tells me my son has to die at the hands of voldemort, lily!” “what if it’s not bullshit” “are you fucking shitting me right now lily”

- only agreed to go into hiding for lily 

- also took care of magical creatures from third to seventh year and also made an O in that

- when they learned about unicorns, the unicorn looked at all the girls in the class and then trotted past and stood in front of james

- james never stopped gloating about this ever

- “sorry what was that? i couldn’t hear you over the sound of being trusted by a unicorn” “a unicorn trusted me minnie why would i ever break the rules like that”

- didn’t actually mind slytherins

- was almost one himself and def wouldn’t have made a huge deal about it because euphemia was a slytherin when she went to hogwarts and he knew they weren’t all bad

- the only reason he never styled his hair was because his dad invented sleekeazy’s. that’s it, that’s the only reason. he did it to spite his dad.

- momma’s boy !!!

- until the day euphemia died, james was not embarrassed to hold her hand as they crossed the street and tell her he loved her

- could not fathom a world without his mother so when she died, he shut down for a good month and a half

- used to actually be afraid to curse

- said his first swear word in fifth year and never looked back

- “what the fiddlesticks” “for the love of all that is holy, just say fuck”

- “f-f-” “yes, you can do it” “i’m nervous”

- fleamont found out that he smoked when he was in his sixth year and he ripped him an entirely new asshole before pulling out his own cigarette and lighting it

- cannot hold his alcohol

- was drunk by the third butterbeer

- was destined to be the chill dad because his dad wasn’t

- yes you heard that right. euphemia was the chill parent. fucking deal with it.

- was an amazing liar purely because of fleamont

- like this boy could lie straight out of his ass the second he learned how to talk

- “james fleamont potter did you break this vase” “didn’t I tell you, dad? the manor’s got a poltergeist!” “we do?!”

- the manor did have a poltergeist but he didn’t know that at the time

- humble rich kid

- his house is huge but so is his heart

- sirius found out his middle name was fleamont when he moved in because fleamont yelled his full name SO often

- james hates that sirius knows his middle name

- sirius loves that he knows james’ middle name

- sirius and sandwich the cat have a silent feud going on that james fuels by privately telling both of them that they’re his favorite

- his actual favorite is cecilia

this got super long but still, feel free to add your own weird james headcanons!