#I’m just venting into the void
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I hate being a teacher sometimes.
Like, I love the work. I love getting to talk about my content, I love the kids, and overall it’s a career that I enjoy.
But I’m just
So
BUSY
All the damn time.
While at work this week, I’ve been working nonstop. Outside of my 29-minute-long lunch, which was typically spent working, the only chance to relax and properly breathe was when all the kids left my room on Friday and I took a 20-minute Guilty Break before cleaning up my room and prepping it for Monday.
I’ve put in more than my fair share of work this week. I’ve stayed in my classroom at least an hour and a half after my contract hours ended every day this week (except Friday, where I only stayed an hour after). Hell, one day I stayed three and a half hours after the school day ended. The only people left in the building by that point were the janitors and roving packs of theater kids getting ready to head home. All to grade, or do paperwork, or prep for a group project the kids start next week, or design upcoming lessons, or or or or…..
And I’m still not done. I have to grade 150-some-odd short-answer-response tests that the kids did this week by Monday morning, because that’s when grades lock for progress reports. To grade each test well, I would need to spend at least 5 minutes reading each response and evaluating what they wrote.
But that would take twelve and a half hours.
I have yard work to do. I play Pathfinder with friends. My spouse and I are having a friend over for dinner on Sunday (and, on a related note, the house needs to be cleaned). I do not have time to do this.
Add on errands, and meeting up with family, and so many other things that happened this week. The most relaxation I got this week was the two hours I spent on the couch putting together my lesson for Friday because I’d never actually gotten a chance to make it.
Everything that happened this week was something that needed to happen (like grading), or was something that I wanted to happen (like meeting up with family). But now I’m so damn tired, and I’m going to have to grade those tests fast in order to make the Monday morning deadline, and next week promises to be more of the same.
I genuinely, truly, absolutely love my job. But sometimes it feels like the only way for me to finish everything I need to do in a given work day is to not have to teach kids. Which, you know, would kind of defeat the purpose of the work I’d be doing in the first place.
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the “just following orders” crowd when it comes to azula is so aggravating to me at this point. A) you realize that line’s been used to attempt to justify atrocities throughout history, right? it’s not the flex you think it is.
B) so many of these people show their hand because they apply that ‘logic’ to azula but not zuko. and to be clear—they shouldn’t! zuko trying to capture aang may be “following orders” but it’s still wrong. the difference is that zuko actually LEARNS this and atones for it. a huge part of his arc is realizing he CAN’T justify the wrong he’s done by following his father’s orders.
so the hypocrisy is kinda staggering.
#woke up in a mood lmao#don’t want to Start Shit i’m just venting into the void and to the five people who share my frustrations lmao#anti azula stans#mine#text#atla#azula#zuko#fandom critical
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Why did the Christian streaming service have to take my silly K9 crime show 🫠
There’s at least two whole episodes missing [that I’ve found so far] and so much censorship that it’s… barely watchable.
This is a known issue with them and a majority of the shows they broadcast, but I’m still going to scream about it for a second, bear with me-
So you can show the blood, the murder, the violence, and… all the other things traditionally shown in crime shows, since that is their subject material, but “hell” and “damn” [and trans people] is too much?
Besides the questionable censoring, it’s completely inconsistent, and they don’t censor things you’d assume they would
Mind you this is also only a problem because I live in the US, I’d have other options for watching it if I didn’t live here 💀
Again to the fact that crime shows aren’t typically rated for children for obvious reasons, so trying to dumb down a crime show for them seems a little… odd to say the least
#hudson & rex#hudson and rex#slight vent#sort of#i’m just. a little pissed#needed to scream into the void of the interwebs#swift's rambles
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Having imposter syndrome as a writer is a bitch
“What if I release this and I don’t get the reaction I was hoping for?”
“What if it’s not good enough?”
What if what if what if like omg I’m gonna lose my mind
This is one thing I really didn’t miss about writing tbh
But yeah this is why I haven’t released anything in almost a month lol, but im pushing through and still working on things despite all of the negativity my brain likes to throw my way sooooo 👍🏻
#vent? kinda? idk#I’m honestly just ranting to the void cause idk why not#writer problems#imposter syndrome
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Fuck my imposter syndrome is insane rn
Whyyyy
#Tis frustrating#I want to enjoy stuff but literally with anything from my hobbies to my job I see other people doing stuff and I’m like#holy shit you are nothing compared to that#and on a logical level I know that’s not true#but damn#really wrecking my enjoyment of life rn#vent post#just yapping to the void
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Maybe if I drink more coffee that will make today better
#hhahahahaaaaa#I’m going to explode#I’m okay just venting#more#this is what I did before I was in therapy#oh I remember this well#posting yelling into the void#it’s kinda chaotic#I appologize#this is why consistent therapy is good friends#even if you don’t think you need it#also I’m#not out of therapy#my therapist is just on vacation#well deserved#uh o these tags are getting scary#if you got this far#I guess#hi
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*sweats*
#should I ramble about my own AU’s with doodles?#eh I’m bored and I like rambling into the void#This is Teacup and Francine#Teacup finds Francine terrifying cuz she once (lovingly) threatened to make her a part of her dress cuz of how sweet she can be#Teacup is a plush :3#Francine is just venting#wh fairground au
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it’s weird to feel extremely chatty but not really want to talk to anyone. or I guess not want to chat with anyone in particular, but maybe it’s just cause the emotions I’m feeling borderline as venting and the idea of venting to anyone (at least at this point in time) makes me feel actually sick sometimes
#delete later probably#also venting only leads to festering for me at least#it’s funny how making vent posts is the one thing I’m okay with#but I think it’s cause it’s like talking to the void#and people have the choice to interact or not which I feel much better about#than subjecting one person to listening to me#<- for the record I do think venting/talking about stuff can be helpful#it just. doesn’t work for me I’ve come to realize.#which is fine but it feels like hell trying to explain that to people
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does anyone else have this issue where you belong to a group, you know you do, but whenever other people of that group talk about shared experiences across that group, you suddenly have the horrible and unmistakeable feeling that you are some kind of fraud? that you hear things that should promote camaraderie, but actually leave feeling less assured of your place when everyone else looks bolstered? that you need to be alone a long while to remember you belong, and feel confident enough to rejoin the group, only to sit there feeling like a hollow wax figurine, shifted and placed to sit just slightly out of line, just a little too close to the fire?
#hey maybe we’ll just pretend this is an edgy passage from a new story I’m writing. That sounds good. Damn what an edgelord am I right? Lol#vent#I’ll delete this dw. I just have no one to talk to right now. and I need it out so I can move on.#please don’t feel compelled to respond or anything. I really am just screaming into the void rn
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Sometimes I worry my sister is getting a bit too close to some terf rhetoric
#not anything about trans ppl but just a lot of ‘men suck men are the worst’ shit that feels like it leans into the ‘men are inherently Bad’#idea yknow#and she once said ‘I’d rather you be a man than a furry’ to me to emphasize how much she hates furries#which is a whole other thing I’m not happy with#plus she’s been misgendering me more often but it COULD be a mistake#it’s just weird bc she always teases/makes fun of me for my weird speech patterns and inability to speak#so the fact she’s misspeaking so frequently over THUS SPECIFIC THING uh. doesn’t sit right w me#and she constantly teases me about my memory issues and will make comments like ‘oh it’s not like you’ll remember’#and ‘parents asked me to do [task] because they know you’ll forget’#oops this has become venting all my gripes with my sister time#aegis talks to the void#vent
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Maybe I’m wrong but from The looks of it the sonic fanbase just didn’t like Amy making the moves. And half of y’all would still hate Amy’s guts if she was overtly fawning over sonic and if sonic ended up actually having a more positive reaction to her crush Instead. from what I’m seeing which might be wrong y’all just wanted Sonic to be more domineering and Amy to be more subservient and watered down. I don’t hate Amy’s new characterization at all but some of the takes I’ve seen just give off this vibe to me. We can talk about Amy’s flaws sure but Amy being open, truthful, and passionate about sonic being her hero isn’t one of them. Once again I’m open to being wrong but damn like what’s wrong with being a fangirl?
#I’m sorry but I just want to protect Amy’s go get em attitude so I vent to the void#amy rose#classic amy#classic sonic#sonic the headgehog#sonamy#sonic x#sonic prime#sonic frontiers#meta#hope I used the right tags
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woke up at 4am feeling the weight of my life crushing me, so I’ve been sitting out in my car for the last couple of hours because I just need. to. be. somewhere else.
#tumblr ate something like this but I think I deserve to shout uselessly into the void#shits rough dawg#I know it’s rough for everyone. I feel shitty even talking about myself. still… compelled to vent… big butts#haven’t really been on here much since it hasn’t really scratched that itch lately & just makes me feel lonelier#it’s cold#saw the Jazzercise studio open across the street. 5am for Jazzercise? wow. early.#and then everyone left an hour and a half later. lights out. everybody gone. weird schedule. I am perplexed.#went down the road and got a soda and I’ve been sitting in my driveway contemplating for the last 2.5 hours#guy at the gas station tried to talk to me but I just half assed a smile and nod and left#even though I know I’d love to just… talk to someone. I suppose it has to be ‘on my terms’ whatever those are#I miss having a therapist. or even just when my little brothers would talk to me. when anyone would. blegh#my insurance is still a mess and I’m about to run out of one of my blood pressure meds this week#maybe I’ll have a stroke. scary to think about. I think about dying a lot but that potential feels too real. just… pop! and I’m done.#I’ll try today to finally push to straighten it out but everything feels daunting#woke up with so much anxiety. about my health. my hearing. no money. my life. had to get out of the house even if it’s just right outside#hate to say it but I need(want) thc. haven’t wanted to spend money on it but I could have really used it this morning#can’t be sad if you can’t feel anything (jokingly but also not. whichever is less sad sounding)#actually treated myself to Dune 2 last week and it was so so good. wish I could go again. but it’s drugs food or movie right now. so…#I know. dumb priority but BIG SCREEN. maybe it’ll hit theaters again for the next awards season hopefully. just a real nice loud experience#anyway… I should go inside. almost 7am. need to take my brothers to school then drive my mom to her daily appointments#I’ve felt so hollow and angry and sad for so long it feels like. I feels so weak and sad and I’m tired of it. I’m so tired.#I’ve been eating about 1 meal a day and sleeping a lot. this is the worst my body has ever been. I feel like I’m just waiting to die.#is this relatable?#just have to look past it. it is nothing. this body is nothing. just enjoy your soda.#gonna look at pictures of butts now#ok gotta go I love you goodbye forever#you can ignore this#text
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”your mental health is bad since you’re always on that phone”
Hush
my device is the one lifeline I have
If I’m left alone with my thoughts I will hurt myself
it’s a form of escapism but if if do not possess it I will do something drastic
I am so, so close from having a mental break and my access to the internet is the one way I can prevent it
is it unhealthy? Maybe
but it’s a better coping mechanism than anything else I could do in this shit mental state.
#tw destructive behavior#tw vent#vent#rant#this is my blog I post what I want#If I don’t scream into the void now I’m going to loose it#I’m stuck at a small group#I hate it here#i don’t know anyone#The boys are too loud and won’t shut up#i just want to go home
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WHY do they always pop up out of nowhere when you start to move on?
#like are you serious#and with the stupidest fucking ice breaker too#like it’s not my fault you’ve ignored me and haven’t talked to me in 2+ months#lowkey miss him though 👀#ima stay strong though#boy bye#personal#just ignore i’m venting to the my diary aka the void that is this hell site
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guys i’m totally and completely fine with the fact that no one ever cares about me as much as i care about them ^U^ <- lying
#i just kind of lost my friend group#there wasn’t a fight or anything i think they just drifted away from me#or maybe i drifted away from them#i don’t really know what happened but none of them message me anymore#i realized that i only talked to them if i started the conversations#so i just stopped starting them#it sucks because for a while i thought i had a best friend (which i haven’t had since i was really little or maybe ever)#but i think i was just doing the thing i do where i idolize someone for a while and see them as perfect#and now i’m trying to make new friends and it’s not going terrible#but i can’t help but feel like this is cyclical and it’s gonna happen again#and eventually i’ll run out of people willing to put up with me#and i’ll never find someone who cares enough to stay#and even if i do i’ll push them away because i don’t believe them when they say they care about me#i’m so jealous when i read about or see good friends because i want that so bad#but i don’t know if that’s ever going to be something i get to have#anyways that’s where im at rn#sorry for the vent lol#barking into the void
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Tumblr is the best place to scream into the void. it doesn’t hurt quite as much if no one gives a shit because that’s ok. it’s just Tumblr.
#nothing bad about Tumblr btw#just saying. this is really the screaming into the void website#whereas it feels more like an obligation to interact on places like Discord#and more like a personal failure if no one does#but that’s just my rejection senstivity talking#I’m fine. this is fine#cw vent#my posts
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