#I’m just jealous
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Sleep… Is for the weak (My insomnia’s acting up again)
#phobias rambles#I’m just jealous#Don’t wake me up in the morning#I will be tired#maintenance insomnia#insomnia#Treat me like I bear#I will kill you if you disturb my hibernation
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knowing everyone who treated me badly n made me the way i am is off living their perfect life’s absolutely unphased by my existence or the fact that i was part of their life meanwhile i’m forever stuck there and how i was treated n how it’s changed me
i’m never getting better i’m never changing only getting worse
why can’t i have the life i worked so hard for that i clawed at desperately , everything that i cried and prayed for despite not believing in God and ive gotten it and i’m still miserable bc of what they did
i just want to be happy
i don’t understand i try so hard to do everything right and to be a good person and have a good life but i’m so miserable i just want to die
i don’t understand how bad ppl just get everything and get to be happy without even working for it like what do u mean i put everything into it and ended up with nothing in comparison to them
ik comparison is awful and you’ll never be happy if u do but how am i meant to just sit here and see everyone being happy and fine and i can’t even get out my bed
i hate everything i want to die i just want to be happy
#it’s not fair#idk why i’m so upset#just hitting hard me cuz i’m so miserable rn#idc about them#but i do#i’m just jealous#i don’t get it#i’m still hurting#still experiencing the exact same issues#while everyone’s growing and moving#and getting better#it seems i only get worse#i feel like i’m losing it#autism#lonelly#social anxiety#actually autistic#rsd#bpd#tw vent#left behind
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u know who you are…. i’ll kill you
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they say they want me so bad but do nothing to proof it and take anyone to replace me whenever they get the chance, why am I even wasting my time with these mfs? I wish I could use all I got against them…I wish I could stalk them and harass them until they cry and beg me to stop…maybe now their begging will be genuine
(not about my darling or anyone specific btw)
#tw violent thoughts#🔪#scary dog mode#just kidding#I’m just jealous#obsessive love#stalker bf#stalker boyfriend#male yandere#obsessive boy#possesive love#obsessive yandere#stalker yandere#violent yandere#mlm yandere#gay yandere
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WDYM WHATS WRONG WITH ME
Cuz you can draw so goodly 😁 ! There’s something wrong
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boxer au simon “ghost” riley
⁃ everyone is exiting a kickboxing class you show up doe eyed with your little matching set and a bag the same color. simon immediately crosses the gym before soap or gaz get a chance to.
⁃ “i think i have something you’ll like.” simon offers hesitantly, if any other tall masked stranger approached you like that you’d leave for the sake of self preservation. but he’s so hesitant in the way he offers looking above your head and not making direct eye contact. his shoulders are drawn together like he’s trying to make himself smaller.
⁃ he ducks behind the desk and pulls out some Everlast hand wraps in the same color as your clothes.
“your favorite color.” he says jokingly
“how’d you know?” you laugh and for the first time he looks you in the eye and something shifts in your chest.
“you’ve got good taste.” he quips
he’s extends his hand in front of yours and you’re so dazed, you just hold his hand. simon is already tipsy of your laugh he considers kissing it. he begins wrapping your hand and the realization makes you flush with embarrassment.
⁃ until he starts talking… he’s explaining how the wraps work and which gloves he recommends and your initial reaction shifts into annoyance. you want to fuck with him just a little bit, because who is he to explain anything to you? he probably doesn’t even work here and you’ve been kickboxing for the last two years.
the stress relief it gave after your last break up worked wonders.
⁃ “do you want to practice with me love?” he offers after he lingers on your wrist
you concede and slip under the bar of the ring. his eyes tell you everything. eager to be close to you he explains a hook and a jab, of course you nod and smile feigning ignorance as he tells you how he’ll explain the kicking afterward. you’re feeling a little triumphant when the false jab distracts him as you sweep him, he falls and makes a jagged hurt noise.
⁃ your playfulness turns to panic
“are you okay? i’m so sorry i didn’t mean to actually hurt you. i kind of expected you to grab my leg or move or laugh? i didn’t mean to—” you fall to your knees beside him worried he hit his head. he shifts on to his back leaning lazily on he’s elbows and he’s smiling at you. that little fucker. or huge fucker honestly, he’s so tall he’s practically scraping the celling.
⁃ “you’re such an asshole.”
“wounded my pride, worse than a physical injury honestly.” simon looks up at you cheekily
“how long have you been doing this? do you work here? why did you come up to me?”
simon wants to toy with you a little more. he loves your short temper paired with your softness it’s intriguing. you’re so sweet worrying about him, would you be like that at one of his matches? anxious fluttering around saying a hail mary he won’t get hurt? or would you bask in the stadium lights, proud that he belongs to you? he intends to find out immediately.
“well ‘m a professional love, a man’s got to eat someway. my trainer, price, doesn’t love when i frighten the clients, but you’re too pretty to avoid.” simon winks at you like his voice isn’t flirtation enough
“i’m not afraid of you.” you lean in front of him on the mat and he gets a long look at your tits when he meets your eyes again you’re aware of how public this display is. you scramble to you feet and extend a hand to help him up and simon doesn’t move.
“get up.” you command in a harsh whisper
he shakes his head shamelessly drinking in your figure.
“seriously, get up someone could come in here.” you urge extending to gently kick him and in a moment he’s pulling your ankle shifting to ensure you fall directly on top of him. he places a gentle hand on the small of your back, respectful almost hesitant.
“now we’re even.” he teases
he smells like mint a touch of lavender and something distinctly him. you want him to lower his hand even though you’re in public. you almost want to kiss him, but then he’d get the wrong idea about your intentions. you were supposed to be scouring the price for this gym across from your apartment nothing more. he probably does this with every pretty customer that walks through the doors. you push yourself up using his chest as leverage.
“we are not even, you tricked me!” you scoff
“then let me make it up to you let me buy you dinner.” he offers
you can’t date this stranger at the gym across from you apartment. you’d see each other again, after dating your co-worker you decided not mix buisness and pleasure. boxing is an essential part of your routine, it’s safe and consistent. he’s roguishly attractive and probably not staying in the country.
“no thanks, you’re something but y’know you’re not from around here. i want a serious relationship.” you know your honesty will scare him away and you’ll never speak again
“well if you get off me, i can get on my knees and propose” simon smirks
you realize that you’ve been leaning directly on top of his chest, not shifting or standing.
“it’s one knee.” you counter as you slide off him and stand up
“for you i’d beg.” simon admitted
the way he looks at you for a second you almost believe him.
“i’m sure you offer that to ever pretty girl who walks in here.”
simon is serious about the begging, he’d wait as long you wanted to have you underneath him. but someday soon the sweet sound of you whimpering his name would be fill the room. you’d be the one pleading for him just to put the tip in.
“come to my match tonight. if i win, you let me buy you dinner. our first real date.” simon promises
he’s such trouble and you want him despite it.
how many girls batting their eyelashes and love struck boys come to his matches longing to see him afterwards? one of them will surely take your place if you don’t attend.
“what if you lose?”
“i won’t.” simon drawls
“you think you’re that good?” you taunt
“i think you’re lucky.” simon breathed
#simon ghost x reader#simon ghost riley#simon ghost riley x reader#simon riley boxer au#simon riley x you#simon riley x reader#simon riley x oc#i’m kicking and screaming#he’s so hot actually#there will be more chaos of this#soap is going to flirt with the reader just to make simon jealous#he’s having none of it#price is his trainer and so the reader is gonna be in this gym for free#simon in on his hands and knees for sure#jean writes
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yeah so this was insane
#i feel like too many people reduce this interaction to jason being like ‘lol same’#but idk :/#this chapter is from jason’s pov#and leading up to it he’s like ‘people keep walking on eggshells around me bc of the the michael varus stab wound’#and he hates it so when he goes on deck to help out with the storm#everyone’s like wtf except for percy#and jason states how much he appreciated percy not treating him like a sick kid#and i feel like it’s echoed in this sentiment where jason could say so many things like#‘you should never feel that way’ ‘im here if you need anything’#but he doesn’t make percy feel alone in his desire to just…. end it all#which ik for some people that doesn’t work but you’re not a character in hoo and percy is dealing with so much guilt#and he can’t tell annabeth bc she’s a main aspect of that guilt#and he doesn’t wanna guilt her more and he feels ashamed and when he describes this he feels weird for feeling it#so having jason this tough guy be like ‘yo i understand it bc i felt the same way#that’s gotta mean a lot to percy#also insane how jason who also struggles to display vulnerability#allows it in one of few times in this moment just so percy this guy he’s supposed to be jealous about#feels comforted and not alone in his guilt and shame#and also it’s just insane how jason’s wanting to kay em ess does not get talked about AT ALL#and just seeing his mom and the pressure of new rome getting to him#like this scene is insane and i’ll never shut up about it#also ignore me i’m just finishing my reread of hoo that took all summer#jason grace#percy jackson#pjo#ashla.txt
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who’s matching my trans grunkle stan freak
#gravity falls#grunkle stan#stanley pines#i’m just saying#disowned by his family. bicep training . jealous of his brother. changed his name.#gf#sketch
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Leon: My king, I didn't think you would participate in today's tournament.
Arthur: I changed my mind
Leon: Didn't you say that you was to remain in the balcony to accompany the visiting Lords?
Arthur: It's a matter of honor!
Gwaine:...
Gwaine: Merlin said Lance would win
Leon: Aaaahhhhh...
#He just doesn't want to agree with Merlin...#sure 🙄#not because he is jealous#bbc merlin#merthur#arthur pendragon#merlin emrys#merlin#ao3#merlin x arthur#incorrect quotes#reccs#fanfiction#incorrect merlin quotes#fic writers#writer block#writers on tumblr#fanfic ao3#in progress#multifandom account#blog fandom#girl blogger#fangirl#tvshow#tvseries#retro#i’m bad at tagging#king arthur#medieval#the knights ship merthur
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martin’s imagination of mag121 <3
(btw! the background of martin’s imagination is a painting called i believe “romantic encounter”, it’s GORGEOUS)
#tma#the magnus archives#jmart#teaholding#jonathan sims#jon sims#martin blackwood#oliver banks#mag 121#the magnus archive fanart#i’m not going to kill a man just because you’re jealous!!
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Okay consider Bruce Wayne is the very well known bankroller for the Justice League. Batman is still part of the league, but they don’t know he’s Bruce Wayne. So, due to Bruce Wayne being such a well known figure and very obviously connected to the Justice League, that has kinda made him a target for certain people which means the Justice League has decided to assign one of their members to help keep him safe. Insert notorious billionaire fighter Superman becoming the part time bodyguard of Bruce Wayne in this epic superbat romance
#where Superman falls in love with Bruce Wayne because it turns out he’s not that bad of a guy even though he’s billionaire scum#and Batman is not getting jealous of himself no sir#you’re crazy#this idea came to me while discussing comic book iron man so if you’d like to marvel this idea go for it#also feel free to make it any other hero but personally I’m more of a superbat kinda guy myself#i honestly feel like Superman is a bizarrely logical pick#because sometimes Gotham and Metroplois are like neighbors and Superman has super hearing/flight/super speed#(and all the other super powers that make him practically invincible)#also Batman obviously can’t do it because he hates all rich people and clearly has beef with Bruce Wayne (hence why they’re never together)#and Superman is such a swell guy obviously he’d be down to keep their bank account- I mean trusted civilian ally safe#this idea could probably still work fine with all the kids snickering in the background and maybe sometimes helping covering for Bruce/Bats#but personally when I read superbat I kinda like it to just be Batman and Superman 😅 not really Batfam and Superman#like this it’s own genera to me#anyways#my post#dc#dc comics#batman#bruce wayne#superman#clark kent#superbat#batman and superman#fan fiction idea#justice league
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#jealous girl#hell is a teenage girl#gaslight gatekeep girlboss#cinnamon girl#norman fucking rockwell#lana del rey#coquette aesthetic#girl interrupted syndrome#girlblogging#femcel#female manipulator#i’m going insane#lizzy grant#female hysteria#girl blogger#this is what makes us girls#this is a girlblog#just girly things#girl thoughts#female experience
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shipping chart thoughts
(billford always happens and they always break up. ford was obsessed when bill was his muse, then bill is obsessed after they’re no longer together and he realizes what he lost) (this dynamic is just canon, really)
(fiddauthor is always present at some point but in one route they end up together after canon events, and in another route fidd moves on) (it’s possible that they had a thing in college but consider it “typical college experimentation” because it’s the 70s and denial is strong. they still go through canon events)
(fiddlestan only happens during the fiddlestan route. otherwise canon events stay the same and they barely actually interact with each other. in the fiddlestan route they work together in the 80s and grow old together)
(billstan isn’t really romantic but it is a one-sided obsession. bill just can’t stop obsessing over the stans… for very different reasons…) (dare i say an unrequited kismesis dynamic?)
(ford and stan are brothers. that’s it. leave them out of the shipping dynamics.)
(fiddlebill isn’t really included here but i feel like the only way this would happen is if bill was possessing ford and wanted to fuck with fidd by using his crush on ford against him) (this one’s basically only possible if it’s fiddauthor-adjacent)
#do u see the vision#i can’t choose between fiddauthor & fiddlestan so i just have 2 different versions in my head where they both get to be endgame#also i enjoy billford but specifically when they end up in a terrible divorce#bill redemption and billford getting back together is fun and all and i enjoy content about it but. to Me that isn’t how it goes lol#i want that triangle to suffer. amen#billstan and fiddlebill have no shot at getting together in my mind sorry#bill being miserable and hating stan so much he becomes obsessive & being jealous of fidd are funny to me though#anyway. to me both fiddauthor & fiddlestan get to end with them as happily gay old men#lowkey don’t remember if i’ve posted something like this before so if i did then pretend i didn’t#😇😇😇#gravity falls#billford#fiddauthor#ford²#fiddlesix#fiddlestan#billstan#??#fiddlebill#????#i guess?#sorry 😭 not really but i’m talking about those 2 so i’m tagging them#i’m not tagging the brothers though. stay away please#stanford pines#bill cipher#fiddleford mcgucket#stanley pines
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they really put alicent in bridgerton blue on the reunion and genuinely expected me to think that she didn’t in fact march all the way to dragonstone to get wifed up? bfr
#I am only a girl living in a society#I make connections#she looks so pretty in blue though I want more#also you’re telling me that rhaenyra saw her walk in all cute looking to not completely crumble at the sight of her?#like my girl got all dolled up for you do something#rhaenyra IS a puppy dog when it comes to those bambi eyes shut up#Alicent was like you think you want her? I’m the love of your life you moron#and rhaenyra is like I KNOW#like she’s been trying to get the other woman to realize that very thing for the last 15+ years#and alicent’s all heartbroken like oh so you’re taking her to wife#and rhaenyra is like nO? WHAT?? all dumb and speechless cause jealous alicent was definitely not on her bingo card this year#whilst also having her own mental breakdown#because how on earth is she meant to explain this to her councel#or jace for that matter#that sure was goint to be a fun future conversation to have with her heir#but also Alicent just strutted into the room and started acting like a scorned wife?#which left rhaenyra feeling like the asshole parent who stopped paying for child support after the divorce#but also she never wanted a divorce in the first place?? and alicent doesn’t seem to get this?#like she’s already figuring out how to most efficiently empty daemon’s chambers for the woman to move in permanently#but alicent’s still yapping off about not having a place in court anymore and fleeing across the sea#and rhaenyra can’t help the bitter taste in her mouth as she states how that ship came in a little too late for them and it is messyyyy#hotd leaks#house of the dragon leaks#hotd spoilers#house of the dragon#house of the dragon spoilers#rhaenicent#alicent hightower#rhaenyra targaryen#bridgerton
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I always wondered why Katniss factored marriage and children into the equation when it came to reciprocating Peeta’s feelings for her. It’s a rather large leap, especially when Peeta himself never expresses wanting children at any point in the story. He uses children as a tool to persuade Katniss and the Capital to save her life, but the only time we see him express any desire/feelings of having one of his own is when he’s crying after the baby bomb. But we never hear his real thoughts.
But you wanna know who does express wanting children? Gale.
It’s one of the first thing he mentions in chapter one. And it pisses her off so much.
(I also want to add that Gale reframes/establishes the dynamic of Katniss and him caring for their siblings from something that is sibling-sibling to parent-sibling. And he is not wrong. Katniss doesn’t refute him. Both Katniss and Gale are surrogate parents to their siblings. Which is also why Katniss love and affection of Prim, is not just sisterly. I’ve seen people say Katniss is only sisterly to Prim- but she’s not. She’s parentified their relationship to the point she subconsciously see Prim as her child, which makes this a tragedy because she’ll loose her first child no matter what she does by the end of the story.)
But Gale’s phrasing here elevates himself as a potential suitor to Katniss by placing them both as the parental roles to these children. (Which irritates her a lot ). Which is why she brings the topic up with her relationship with Peeta. Because she’s subconsciously aware of Gale’s efforts and knows it will be a point of contention between them. It hangs over her head in a way.
With Gale, children are extra mouths to feed. (But Gale will do fine. He can work. He can hunt.) It’s all framed with calculated survival in mind. But it’s also not something she had planned in the future at any point.
But Peeta’s children? Oh they deserve to be born because Peeta deserves to be a father. He would be such a good father. They deserve to exist in a world where they can be safe and happy. (Even if it’s not with her.)
This is also why I think she subconsciously sees Peeta’s baby as her own. And I don’t think of it as a cruel/heartless thing, it’s just you’d be more protective of your own child compared to someone else’s. Katniss sees Gale as a reliable person who’s equipped to look after a kid. She doesn’t express the same kind of maternal instinct/yearning for the Baby Hawthrone’s safety as she does with the idea of Baby Mellark, because she doesn’t think of Gale’s child as her own. She never hopes for a better future for them, but she does with Peeta because he and that baby gives her hope. And she loves him that much.
#I’m just rambling#sorry if it’s obvious from the get-go#but I just realized the whole Baby+marriage and Peeta is Katniss dragging her issues with Gale into her relationship with Peeta 🤣#I don’t want to be mean#but Katniss does not give a shit about Gale being a father#she’s all like- yeah go find a partner#but I still want my hunting buddy#but Peeta???#he should be a father (says nothing about finding another woman) and his baby deserves safety#she also doesn’t mention jealous with Peeta#but does with Gale (I wouldn’t be jealous. but me hunting partner…)#which yeah#she plans on dying#but she also blocks out the topic of another woman completely#because I think it would make her sad/jealous#everlark#katniss everdeen#peeta mellark#thg#the hunger games#not tagging Gale lmao
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I love Companion Benny. I love the idea that he gets huffy-puffy and “just a little” jealous if you switch him out for another companion. He simply cannot cope with the fact that you’d toss him aside like yesterday’s trash for… what, some scribe in rags? A boring-ass first recon guy? A vaquero ghoul? (ok he thinks Raul is kinda cool actually but he won’t openly admit that)?? Benny has STORIES, baby. Interest. Intrigue. You wanna know all the juicy strip gossip? Guess what, you CANT now because you DISMISSED him. How DARE you.
Benny is VERSATILE, baby. His tagged skills are guns, melee, and unarmed. Good luck finding another companion that can do what he can. Yeah Craig “Frowns” Boone can headshot a cazador from a million yards away or whatever, *mumbling* show-off, he would’ve seen that cazador eventually *end mumbling* but Benny can shoot, stab, AND punch. Hey courier, watch this. I’m gonna punch the fuck out of this deathclaw. He does it (you gotta administer a few stimpaks) BUT HE DID IT. And he was only at half health. 400+ health honeybaby, Benny can take a few whacks from those deathclaw freaks. What was that? Showing off? Benny doesn’t have to show off, sugar plum. He’s just that good.
He also won’t complain that his feet are getting tired. Yeah he’ll complain about minor inconveniences and wants you to do something about them regardless if you realistically can or not, but at least he’ll walk miles upon miles in a day and not complain. He also won’t complain about going back to the Lucky 38. (he’ll just complain about not being able to get in there before the Courier showed up.) What, no one else complains about their feet hurting? Uhhhh BOOT-RIDERS. Silly name. But that’s how they rode the Mojave, dig? On their feet. He’s done this before. Experienced.
AND ANOTHER THING. how many companions shout words of encouragement during a fight. Go on. He’s waiting.
You’re doing great, baby! Show these punk losers what you got!!
I bet all the caps in Vegas you’ll miss that while getting shot to shit by the Fiends or whatever. Grumble. Benny hopes you come back in one piece, of course. He’d just rather see to it himself that you remain in one piece. Uhh BECAUSE HE’S JUST THAT GR-
(The courier left with their choice of companion hours ago. Swank is trying to work but Benny won’t stop gabbing his ear off. Dear god Benny just go be the Head of The Chairmen somewhere else. Swank is trying to do actual work here.)
#benny gecko#fnv benny#fnv#fallout new vegas#benny fnv#swank#fnv swank#craig boone#veronica santangelo#raul tejada#this post wasn’t supposed to get this long uhhhh#I’m trying to write Sadie and Benny’s dynamic to finally get it out of my head and onto paper#but the Benny brainrot fully took hold lol#wtf.txt#this is INCREDIBLY tongue in cheek btw pls dont think this extreme over the top nonsense is how i see benny SHDHD#though i DO stand behind him being jealous af and complaining to swank about it as if he wasnt jealous (he is)#i just love benny sm i'll write a more nuanced post abt him at some point im sure!#but for now pls enjoy whatever this is
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