#I’m just imagining overbearing stage parents

[dulcewrites]

So y’all know how unnerved is lowkey a different extension of fmo (if reader was frankly leaned into being messy). I was thinking about what would be the modern/djats (I guess Valyria since I like that name) version of unnerved. And it came to me.

Reader started as child actress/singer (think Britney, Christina.. basically all the female Disney/nick acts. Or even like brandy with Cinderella/moesha. Wholesome image). She’s ready to shed her good girl image for her second album as she transitions into womanhood. Her label thinks some collabs with unconventional artist choices would help. Enter the targs and their group

Aemond is, of course, against this. He does not want some teeny bopper girl ruining the image he has perfectly crafted for the group. He gets outvoted by the group (Helaena is a big fan of reader’s lmao, Aegon and quinton just think she’s hot so they’re for it). It’s a mess. Aemond and reader instantly butt heads. It doesn’t help when he walks in on her and Aegon snorting coke 🫠.

But in the vein of unnerved, reader is accurately aware of her role/image as a woman. She understands how sex sells in music. It causes a lot of disassociation with her own life. A toxic pattern of not wanting that to be her lot in life but also sort of getting a sick sort of rush from using it to tease people. Throwing their attraction to her back in their faces bc it’s only power she has

[x-pair-o-dice-x]

DICE i saw you talking about qsmp g/t on the dc server and i have a long history of not talking in that server SO i come to your askbox instead :D

tiny tallulah. would wilbur take her on tour with him? maybe have security take care of her which could spark like. wilbur constantly getting distracted while on stage?

maybe he keeps her in his pocket (with noise-cancelling headphones so it's not overbearing) just because he's absolutely attached. ALSO maybe tallulah after that starts playing a lvjy song on her flute :D

or as another au could you imagine tallulah as the giant? all the eggs as giants? t!parent is always an underrated g/t trope 👏✨

pspsps if you have any thoughts about this lmk because qsmp brainrot is sublty real >:)

also u don't have to answer this if your t!tallulah thing was just a quick hc thing,,

OOOOOO!!! YES YES YES, I LOVE!!!!

the tiny!tallulah thing was just a quick thing, sure, but like. i am totally up for thinking a bit more about her.

(also the not talking stuff is valid and a mood,, dkdnkdndid)

i am holding all these ideas gently…. and i am Looking at the giant!eggs tiny!parents thing!!!

oooo,, now i’m imagining a human tallulah who lives on her own, getting found by a borrower wilbur……… he doesn’t want to keep going back to her, it’s against the borrower rules!! but he finds that the more he ends up coming across her, the harder it is to stay away….

that’s about the extent of my thoughts right now, have to head to school in a bit.

[fallinfl0wers]

hellooo! this is the first time i request something from a blog :D could i request headcanons of diluc, scara, kazuha and xiao when their s/o tells them they're pregnant and possibly how they'd get used to having a kid? tyy! dont forget to take breaks and relax!

Literally baby-sized trouble.

summary: you're pregnant! how does he react to the news and how do the get used to your child? includes: diluc (26 bullet points), scaramouche (24 bullet points), kazuha (17 bullet points) and xiao (35 bullet points) warnings: fem!reader, pregnancy, children, non-explicit/non described giving birth, mostly fluff with a little bit of hurt/comfort and angst. format: headcanons thank you for your request!! this was so fun to write! >< imagining the characters being soft with children is just so cute :") i specially like these four a lot >< when i wrote this i was in a xiao mood if it wasn't obvious that his turned out longer than everyone else's lol, and it's also the first time i write for kazuha so it was shorter than the others, but i think his is the sweetest ><! i hope you enjoy it! ps. the names and meanings- i got them from google, feel free to correct me if there's anything wrong with them ><

Diluc

He's going to stop functioning the moment he hears the news from you.

Literally, he's still as a rock and completely taken by surprise.

He... can't say he'd never wanted children. He's pretty traditional and, since he has this beautiful relationship with you, he assumed it might happen sometime in the future.

But oops guess it will have to happen in the close future, since you're already pregnant.

After staring at you with widened eyes for a while, he speaks up: "...is... is it true?" You hold his hands on yours with a smile on your face, nodding. "Yes, Diluc. We're going to be parents." Hearing your words, he starts to tear up as he hugs you, his touch almost hesitant, as if you were so fragile he could break you if he wasn't careful. "...thank you." He'd whisper between silent tears, hiding his face from your sight.

Very supportive and very protective!

You will have the most comfortable of pregnancies. He will make sure you don't need to move a single muscle to get anything you want.

If the two of you aren't married or engaged yet, he's going to propose to you very soon, keep that in mind ><

He starts reading every book he can find on pregnancies and babies so that he knows what to do to help you when you give birth and how to take care of his child once they're born ><

You have to convince him that yes, you can go and eat in the dining room and you don't need to eat everything in your room or stay in bed all day and yes, you can still do most things and no, he doesn't have to worry so much.

But yeah, in later stages of your pregnancy he gets more overprotective because he doesn't want anything to hurt you or your baby :(

He couldn't be calm enough while you gave birth and had to wait outside of the room, which only made him more nervous </3

But when he finally held your little baby on his arms for the first time, he broke down crying.

You two had a boy! He looked a lot like him, too... with the red hair and eyes... so cute...

He's not sure of what to name him, he'd thought of some names before, but they all disappeared when he saw the little bundle of joy in his arms;;

So you two will have to think about a name again!

In the end, you settle for Felix; name meaning "happy" or "lucky"!

Diluc is a very busy man, but he still does his best to be there for you and his son as much as possible!

He's also not very sure as to how he should interact with him...

But he does know he LOVES playing with him as soon as he starts to understand how to play with his toys.

But... there are not so cute parts about having a kid, after all.

At times, he worries whether or not he'll be able to be there enough for him.

He wonders if he can be a good father, given how awkward he is with his emotions.

What if when Felix grows up he starts hating him for being absent? He wouldn't be able to stand it.

You always reassure him as you both put the baby to sleep on his crib.

All Diluc wants is for his son to have a happy childhood and a loving family, but worries he won't be good enough of a father.

However, when Felix's first word is "'iluc!" as he stretches out his tiny arms towards him, he thinks that maybe, just maybe, he can do this right.

Scaramouche

He thought you were joking, so he laughed.

When you didn't laugh along with him and was met with your blank face, he understood you were serious.

He never even thought he'd be with anyone in a relationship before you came along, let alone have a child with anyone... So he's obviously very shocked and confused as to how to proceed.

After an awkward moment of staring at each other, he cleared his throat and crossed his arms, looking at you with an equally blank face. "So? What do you want me to do about it?" "H-huh?" "In the sense of- what do you want to do? Keep it or not." You huffed, and when he heard your determinated answer, he sighed and gave your head some soft pats. "Alright, alright, whatever you want, I guess."

Okay listen here- it's not like doesn't care but it isn't like he cares so much either...

This man would do anything for you, really, and that's what happens.

He does anything and everything for you, because he's worried about you and not necessarily about the baby you're carrying.

It's not like he hates children- because you can't hate anything you don't perceive as equal or superior to you and a baby ceirtainly isn't either for him-

It's more like he doesn't know what to do with them because he's never been around children enough to understand them.

He's overall very indifferent towards the child ngl.

Then he sees you cradling your baby -a girl- in your arms and his mind just... goes blank. Huh, so that's what a human looks like right after being born.

Your little daughter looks more like him than she looks like you, sorry. But he can clearly see on her face some factions that will look like yours as she grows up.

But...

"Now what?"

He'll help you look after her however he can, since he doesn't want you to be too tired because he never knows when he'll have to leave for weeks or even months without notice.

He's not entirely cold or indifferent towards her, even if sometimes he might resent her a bit for taking away some of your attention.

But like when you were choosing a name for her, he gave a few suggestions and in the end you choose one of the names he thought of!

Her name is Hikari, name meaning "light"!

Due to the nature of his job, he doesn't want to be seen around either of you at the moment in public. It would only put a target on your backs.

And it takes a long, long while for him to warm up to her.

It disheartens you a little, but when you see him looking down at Hikari's sleeping form on the crib, softly poking her cheek with a strangely child-like curiosity on his eyes, you feel at ease.

And he thinks that he can probably handle this parenting thing better than he ever expected. Maybe it's not that bad, after all.

Ceirtainly, he thinks, as he holds her in his arms one day after she spoke her first word to him, this parenting thing is not really that bad.

(Her first word was "papa!")

Be ready, because once he gets attached to your daughter he won't stop spoiling her!

Kazuha

"Are you sure, love?" "Yes, I'm sure. We're having a child!" A smile painted itself on his face as he leaned in to kiss your forehead. "I hope I can be a good father for them."

So the Kaedehara family is getting a new member, huh!

Not that there's much left to his name, especially now that he's a fugitive... but he's excited nonetheless!

Although he's not one to settle down for long, he will make an effort for both you and the child, since it's not good for someone who's pregnant to wander around.

He's very protective, but not in an overbearing way! He simply wants you to take it easy and relax, he can take care of everything else on his own!

That being said, he's not rich like Diluc or Scaramouche, so he's also going to work harder than ever to get everything you or the baby need in advance so that neither of you have to stress out!

He's the one who takes it better out of everyone here, he's not extremely worried or outright indifferent, he's simply worried enough, excited and happy!

He already knew you were the one he wanted to spend the rest of his life with, so the idea of having a child with you didn't scare him or intimidate him in the slightest!

He's still a bit worried, though.

He is a wanted fugitive in his homeland, after all...

He can only do so much and wish for the situation in Inazuma to change soon, so that he can take both you and his child to see the places he loved to spend his time at when he was a child.

But for now, he's happy enough simply holding his child on his arms, sitting next to you in your small shared home.

You have a girl too! She has Kazuha's hair color and your eye color, she's super adorable ><

He wants you to name her, and you both agree on naming her Izumi, meaning fountain or spring!

"Kaedehara Izumi... it has a nice ring to it." He'd say, smiling down at her.

While Kazuha enjoys travelling more than anything in this world, he's reticent to leave you and your daughter alone or even bring you along with him. So he stays around for as long as you need it.

He will talk a lot to her all the time, so don't be surprised when she picks up very complicated, flowery words from a young age!

He wants her to grow up to be free as the wind and be able to do whatever she wants without fear, so he wants to do his best to be a good father for her!

Xiao

You can practically see the panic on his face when you tell him the news.

It's the most scared you've ever seen him be, and you've been there to help him through his karmic debt.

So yeah, he takes it the worst out of everyone.

"I'm not mad." He manages to tell you before disappearing to somewhere else in a panicked haze, he needs to sort out his emotions quickly before he can properly talk to you about it. The last thing he saw before he disappeared was your eyes, glinting with sadness. And that only made him feel worse if that was even possible.

It takes him the whole day to come to terms with his feelings on your pregnancy and finally face you again.

He's really, really afraid of hurting you and your child. Not to mention he fears he might've passed some kind of curse from his karma to either of you through the pregnancy :(

Like he said, he isn't mad. He's just scared.

He... he literally never, never thought he would get to be a father.

Family was a foreign concept to him, as were a lot of other things you've slowly helped him understand throughout your time together, so knowing he can have one of his own now... makes him happy, and scared, at the same ime.

He's worse than Diluc when it comes to protecting you and worrying about you.

He won't let you do anything alone, even if he doesn't want to be near you because he doesn't want the karma to harm you or your child in such a vulnerable moment of your lives.

Okay so that aside-

How do people care for babies?

What is he exactly supposed to do?

And- do half-adepti babies need any sort of special treatment in comparison to human babies?

He has no idea on what to do if it doesn't involve a physical fight with a tangible foe, so he goes asking for advice to everyone he knows that could have knowledge on that field.

Verr Goldet and Ganyu are a great help for him. Xiao listens with attention to everything they have to say and asks everything he doesn't understand.

Ganyu tells him about her own experience growing up as half-human so that he can understand what raising a half-human, half-illuminated beast baby might entail.

He also goes to Zhongli for advice and he gets more of the same advice he's already heard, along with many, many reassurances that sound like everything you already tell him every day.

He's very worried, but as the months go by and your child's birth comes closer, he can't help but feel a little excited about it.

Everyone who knows him is happy to see him openly happy for a change on those small moments when he gets excited about his new family with you.

When your child is born, Xiao doesn't want to hold him. It took too much willpower to stay as close as he was right now, standing next to your bed as you held your baby in your arms.

He was so adorable, so small, so fragile, so pure- Xiao was afraid of touching him and breaking or tainting him--

He was already crying, he'd started crying the moment he saw you holding your son for the first time.

He feels so... strange. He's crying, but this isn't a painful, or sad feeling. He feels... happy, but scared, but...

The feeling starts to make some sense to him when he finally convinces himself that it's okay for him to hold the little boy in his arms, when he stares with awe at his face.

The baby looks a lot like the both of you. Arguably, more like him, since he has the same hair and the same bright eyes, but in his face all he can see is you.

And he cries more.

You both named him Liàng, name meaning brilliant!

Xiao does his best to try and get used to parenting, and it gets hard at times.

But he tries, and that's all that matters. He tries to be a good father, and is always there to protect both you and your son from anything trying to harm you.

Even though he was so scared at first, you know he loves the new family you've formed together.

Especially when you catch him trying to hold a conversation with your son, sitting down on the bed next to him as he toys with a soft teddy bear, the two of them surrounded by pillows.

The soft look and smile he wears while he does so tells you that everything is going to be alright.

The three of you are going to be alright, and Xiao wants to make sure of it.

His son will never have to live what he lived or see what he saw. He will make sure of that, no matter what.

[furiousgoldfish]

Learning more about trauma recovery, I realized that even if we all have similar cptsd symptoms (emotional flashbacks, inner shame and guilt, abandonment issues, fear of other's negative reactions to us, fight/flight/freeze/fawn response, highly anxious behaviour, perfectionism, catastrophizing, chronic exhaustion and pain, panic attacks, struggle expressing anger, dissociation, grief, negative thinking, fear of the future, hopelessness, suicidal ideation) it's usually one or two of them that are specifically strong and tako a hold of someone's entire personality. For instance, someone will try to find a way out of fear by constantly doing more and more and try to always be perfect, another one will freeze and do nothing in a stressful situation; some will avoid people altogether, some will run from one painful relationship to another. Some might find their inner critic so powerful they get unable to do anything due to the constant shame and berating from inside of their head, and some will sink into dissociation and numbness in order to withstand being alive.

For me, it was the inner catastrophizer that was so loud, overbearing, and impossible to fight; I hadn't recognized it as a trauma symptom because I believed every bit of it was true. My imagined catastrophe was dying from lack of resources, or being tortured to death. Both felt like a very likely scenarios to happen because I do live in poverty, with minimal resources, and I've already experienced torture so it seemed like it's highly possible for it to happen again. I couldn't see that I've survived years on my own, without any help, and that I've became more resourceful than most people, or that I had saved myself from torture and kept myself safe. Every single time a minor stress would appear, I would spiral into wild scenarios of myself homeless, dying, or in unbearable pain. It would trigger a nervous breakdown, lots of flashbacks, panic attacks, and bring me to such highly anxious state I wouldn't be able to move for days. I didn't see a way out of this, I believed I was brainwashed to experience this over and over again, and panicked severely when it started getting worse.

It was only when I found out about other survivors having the exact same imagined catastrophy, I was able to see it was fake. People with jobs, friends, family, loved ones, resources and safety, were having the exact same fear of dying homeless. Circumstances don't matter to the catastrophizer, it will find a path to your worst, most painful scenario even if it's next to impossible for it to happen.

Reading the 'Complex PTSD' book, I learned that these catastrophic thoughts can and should be de-escalated and stopped in their tracks by a stream of logical, factual thoughts that challenge the unlikeliness and fakeness of the imaginary disaster. I trained my mind to do it immediately, unspeakably relieved to know it's something I can do on my own, it's do-able, it's progress I can make just by arguing with my own thoughts!

Ever since that day, I haven't allowed myself to spiral into a catastrophic thoughts once, and it's done wonders for my recovery. It was like dragging myself from the bottom of the pit to a place where I could breathe again. I only now acknowledge how extremely damaging it was on my body to be broken down like that regularly, how impossible it was to live always followed by that terror, how unreasonable it was to expect from myself to endure it. I still break down a lot, but from grief, which is healthy for me to break down about, and it doesn't throw me into a paralyzing pit of terror.

I also need to acknowledge that this is not something I'd be able to do at the beginning of the recovery; at the start I had every single symptom screaming in my face, it was all I could do to stay alive thru it all. Over the course of several years, a lot of the symptoms quieted down on their own, just because I was getting used to life in a non-abusive environment. The catastrophizer was one that kept getting bigger and more stressful as others got smaller and more manageable.

I believe most of my symptoms died down because I was allowing myself to seek out a comfort zone; giving myself a place to feel safe and not triggered by whatever, gave me a lot of peace, a refuge to hide in. After finding a little peace of the world I was safe in, this world began to expand, until I saw a way to have a life in it. It has its limits, of course, and if I try doing certain things I will absolutely get triggered and my well-being will be obliterated. But I'm not looking for a life where I can do everything. Only to stay alive, and to not be in terror. It's a humble yet very complicated desire for a traumatized person to have.

I no longer have to actively stop my catastrophic thoughts; my brain now does it for me. If I start spiraling, a voice in my head will go 'Wait a minute, that doesn't sounds realistic, isn't it more likely x will happen and it will be okay? Come on, you don't have to be terrified about this, because it's not real. It will be okay, and here's every single instance where a similar event went well for you. You will pull thru this one, and even if you don't, the consequence won't be death, or torture, or everyone alive hating you. At worst you will feel slightly bad, so it's okay to feel good now. You've done a lot to get this far. All will be well.'

And that is a very pleasant inner voice to have, and I am grateful for it. I wish so badly that I had this earlier in life, but I guess looking at my parents, there was no way.

What is your worst reoccurring symptom that stops you from progressing in your recovery? If you feel like you're at the stage where you can recognize it and talk about it, it would be beneficial for everyone recovering to read more experiences.

[pumpkinpot]

MHA at a CON or FEST

Hi, so over the last couple day I have been going to the local Fan-con in my state and I was curious while there what some of the MHA characters would be like as panel or meet and greet guests and you as a vendor. 

Hawks- He is a fan favorite. For him I’d imagine the tickets to meet him would sell out almost immediately and if someone was lucky to catch one late, it would likely be from a peddler outside the stadium. He is so good with his fans very professional in his hero costume, taking pictures and signing things. (he kind of has to be.) As sort of a subliminal messaging thing, he’d keep some of your merch just strewn on his table, like it was just left there and would send feathers to you periodically throughout the day to let you know he’s thinking about you, or has some major tea about a crazed fan. You’ll know which depending on the frantic-ness of the delivery. 

Mirkou- She is so unashamed about her nerdiness. You cannot convince me you two don’t ren and, "women with swords" is her aesthetic. So don’t expect her in her hero costume. Not the one she actually works in at least. Her meet and greet costume is a modified knight-core version with chainmail and leather. She had a special bit of her armor etched with a little symbol of your two’s design. like a crest of your love... lol... nerds.... Preferably she can see your table from where she is, so she can point you out as her (royal title). “for I am their knight, and they are my Queen/King” is what she says all Stokely. Don’t expect to much professionalism from her, she’s too excited.  

Aizawa- How TF someone got him to do a meet and greet is beyond me, but he’s not happy about it. Its too loud, too crowded and he’s often asking himself why this big of an event is important to hero work and if its safe to have so many heroes in one place. (its a pretty big target.) But he’s amiable enough. He does it mostly because some of his students are there and so are you. At first he’s rather fitful, but when a little kid hands him a picture of a kitten drawn by them he softens. Its a complete coincidence he became the children's favorite. Parents wondering why their child chose a homely gremlin over Hawks. When he has any time free he’s watching you wow people with your own products just in awe of your passion, but behind that is a small excitement building for the epic sleep that yall are having tonight after such an involved day. 

Bakugou- You cannot convince me he isn’t into this. For a couple reasons. One he gets to show off a little bit. I feel like the Bakugou that would get big enough to have a meet and greet is not the “I’m better than everyone,” guy we’re used to, but he does like the idea of seeing what kinds of people flock to him. It’s def not what he expected. Book nerds, and introverts. If you’d have told him that was his fan base, he’d have laughed in your face, but now that he’s seeing it with his own eyes the pieces start to click. its very “every Hufflepuff needs a Slytherin” vibe. (though I don’t think Bakugou is a Slytherin, different post different time.) He actually begins to enjoy the time. Its not as loud as the other panels despite the doubled mass at his stand. When he has any time away from the greet table he’s with you, checking out the food truck district. of course their is a radius so he’s not swarmed, but he does tip the staff really really well.

Midoryia- Despite going to so many cons for Allmight stuff when faced with his own booth, and seeing his own fan art, Midoryia becomes very, very overwhelmed. This results in a lot of check ins with you and sloppy smiled pictures. It’s not that he tries to be awkward, but people constantly telling him how much they love him makes him wonder if he ever became so overbearing to his mentor. After a while you make some arrangements to move your booth into veiw of his and after that, his demeanor completely changes. Not having to stare at the art booth with only his face in various mediums staring back at him, but you with your passion sprawled out across a table and your friendly smile. It gives him courage to relax a little. Overall he’ll only do those kinds of events if you are there. If you’re not public with your relationship, how long will it take the public to realize you’re always so close?

Ochako- Baby girl is eating it up! Not because of the crowd per say, but because of the smiles. She’s had to use her quirk to save lives so many times, I could see her floating peoples hair and floating up to make funny faces behind people in photos. Her and some of the other hero's decided to get in on a corner of the meet and greets together so they can interact with fans together. (photobombing each others pics and such.) When she has the time she’ll sneak off to you with a churro in each hand with a social battery check in and a mandatory water check. If you’re feeling drained she’ll ask one of her assistants to watch your booth while she floats you both somewhere to watch the crowd from above.  

Mina- She is too hype for the occasion. Her and Ochako def got a space near each other. She goes above and beyond for her fans, decorating her whole booth in flower vines and twinkle lights. she did it for the gram for sure. She is great with her people and loves to ask them actual questions when they meet her. “how are you really babydoll?”, “tell me about your day.” and is the queen of complements. when she’s on break she’s with you hyping up your booth to anyone within hearing distance. “hey! have you all seen how amazing my love is?!” she def is out here to do the most in the best way.

Kirishima- Baby boy is nervous. He’ll never admit it if not forced, but he’s never been to an event like this, as a guest or greeter and the sheer magnitude of it all is.. daunting. It isn’t until he sits down and actually people watches the line of fans ready to meet him does he calm down. specifically a little boy with foam hands of his signature fist to fist in hardened mode. (Like the Thanos gauntlet you can buy at walmart) The kid was so excited to meet his favorite “shark” and it was that day that Kiri saw how far that comparison (him to a shark) actually went. He overall realizes his fan base is mostly made up of people like him. People who didn’t feel like they had the right bits in their bones to fit into society. He loved being that oddball for them. At lunch he sneaks away with you to eat junky foods hidden in an empty stage room or somewhere secluded. He’s got so many stories about so many cool people and keeps a copy of the pictures of his favorite fans for himself. to remind him why he does what he does. 

[a-pretty-nerd]

Your Favorite Bastard Men As Parents

Shigaraki, Aizawa, Shinsou, and Amajiki x pregnant reader headcannons!

ALL CHARACTERS ARE OF 👏 LEGAL 👏 AGE 👏 18+

A/N: This was bound to happen. If you follow me, you know I have a breeding kink, and YOU KNOW I'm a slut for some good x pregnant!reader content! So here's a few hcs for my favorite boys!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

1. Shouta Aizawa

Initial Reaction:

"That can't be right."

Denial.

It wasn't planned. He never even planned on settling down with anyone, much less having his own kids!

It's a wonder how you even ended up with him in the first place!

He's not super upset, he's not angry or afraid. He's just in disbelief.

Truly he doesn't even believe its real till he sees a sonogram and you're starting to show.

Pregnancy:

Aizawas an all or nothing dude. Once he feels how real things are getting, he's all in.

He stays up late doing research, books, parenting blogs, birthing videos. You name it, he's looked into it.

He worries about you constantly. He calls you from work every chance he gets a break.

He makes you eat uber healthy, gross green smoothies, stinky teas, anything and everything good for you and the baby.

It becomes a habit for him to reach over and run his hands over your belly. It's soothing for him.

Fatherhood:

A+ Dad.

Turns out being used to not getting enough sleep is perfect for parenthood.

He feels bad he doesn't spend more time home, even if he's plenty home.

He doesn't always understand his kid, but he'll always support them.

Very patient.

Catch this man asleep in the rocking chair with the baby passed out on his bare chest.

Ugh, so sweet. ❤

2. Hitoshi Shinsou

Initial Reaction:

"You can't be serious."

He scares you at first. Not because he's mad but because he looks void of emotion at first.

He's not mad. Actually, he doesn't know how to feel at first.

I imagine you wouldn't be activley trying, but you weren't against the idea.

He holds you close when he realizes he's frightened you. He smiles and rubs your back.

"This is incredible. I love you so much."

Pregnancy:

He's 100% lost.

Suddenly, he knows nothing and he's trying his hardest to help you.

Really, he'll do almost anything you ask.

He'll even try your strange cravings with you. Turns out peanut butter pickle sandwhiches aren't all that bad!

Shinsou is a body worship kind of guy and when you get pregnant...omg be prepared.

He LOVES the way you grow. When your belly gets big, he can't keep his hands off you. Not that he could before, how do you think you got pregnant in the first place? Damn.

Fatherhood:

Again, he's very lost.

But he's so determined to be a good dad.

He's amazing once he gets the hang of it. Really, he's great.

He loves, loves, LOVES his baby. He comes home every day so excited to see them.

Annoys his coworkers with baby pictures.

Imagine Shinsou doing baby talk. ❤

3. Tamaki Amajiki

Initial Reaction:

"What? Really!? Are you sure!? You're sure you're sure!?"

Nervous wreck.

Even if you were trying, he'd be nervous. Overjoyed, but nervous.

What if something went wrong? What if something happened to him at work? What of he couldn't be there for you?

He's excited, but so scared.

What if he's not a good enough dad?

He starts to become a little overbearing.

Pregnancy:

He worries about you constantly.

If anything, I mean ANYTHING goes wrong, he starts to doomsday prep.

He's always so quick to get you to the dr, the hospital, the midwife, whatever.

He's obsessed with your body though. The way you look all round and plump and so perfect. He's in love all over again.

He cried when he first heard the baby's heartbeat. Like, "it's just so fast and l-little."

Tries to be there for everything. Every dr appointment, every couples class, all of it.

He becomes a hermit. He doesn't wanna go anywhere or do anything. He just wants you, him, and the baby home and safe.

Fatherhood:

He cried so hard when he first held them.

So nervous but so determined.

He just wants to be a good dad so bad.

He's a bit of a push over. He spoils them rotten.

Cant stand to hear the baby cry. He rushes over even at the sound of fussing.

Gets to the crib faster than you most of the time.

He loves to sit in the rocking chair and feed the baby. Its very calming and it makes him feel like a good dad. ❤

4. Tomura Shigaraki

Initial Reaction:

"...What?"

Fear. Absolute utter terror.

He's petrified the moment the words, "I'm pregnant" leave your lips.

He's very quiet, his movements are slow, he looks calm, but he's shaking.

He doesn't know what to do or what to say.

He loves you, he truly does. You're the first person he truly respects and trusts and cares about. So why is he so afraid?

He doesn't know the first thing about babies, and becoming a father, the very figure he struggles with most, shakes him to his very core.

Pregnancy:

At first, he goes through the stages of grief. Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, but finally, he accepts.

He hides you away when you start to show. If anything were to happen, he needs to know the two of you would be safe. He visits, often, almost everyday. But he doesn't live with you.

There's apart of him that wants this. Wants the normalcy or a family. He wants a chance to redeem himself.

To be good at heart. He takes very good care of you. He's very specific about hiding the pregnancy from others.

At this rate he's the leader of an army, a movement, he can't risk you being involved in that anymore.

He loves being able to care for you. Something in him loves being so sweet and kind just for you. You're the only one he could ever love and trust this much.

Fatherhood:

When he first saw them, something snapped in him. Something so small and precious, he helped make that? Half of that, is him?

But they're so...perfect?

Even though he has full control of his decaying quirk at this point, he's afraid to hold the baby.

So for a while he'll only hold them close to his chest, tucked into his arm. He balls his hands into fists to be sure he doesn't touch them.

He's in shock and disbelief because he can't believe the baby is so perfect. At first he's convinced something is wrong with them. But as time goes on, he's reassured, they're fine.

He's constantly thinking about them. Constantly wanting to make them happy, to ease their crying, to soothe them.

It's heartwarming to watch him read to the baby. He reads to them, every night. ❤

[jaskiers-sweetkiss]

The Mercer Legacy - Part 1

Pairings: Reggie x Luke x Reader, Willex

Word Count: 1.8K

Warnings: none? 

a/n: welcome to the first part of my social media JATP au!! Im really excited about this series and I hope you like it!! Let me know if you’d like to be added to the taglist! 

Masterlist  TML Masterlist

___

“Beep beep! Coming through!” You heard somebody call from down the sidewalk.

You stepped to the side, lifting your dress so that the white fabric didn’t touch the grass but Alex wasn’t as lucky. Your best friend apparently hadn’t heard the warning and before any of you knew what had happened, Alex and the skateboarder were both sprawled on the ground.

“Oh, you dinged my board!” The skateboarder whined as he stood and you saw Alex scowl.

“I dinged your board? Dude, you ran me over! You’re lucky I didn’t-“ Alex stopped abruptly and you smirked, recognizing the expression on your best friend’s face as he actually looked at the boy who had run into him.

You knew that look, that was Alex’s gay panic look. However, before Alex could regain control of his brain long enough to say something his mom interrupted, calling out from the car.

“Alexander, Y/N, let’s get a move on! We don’t want to be late!”

The skateboarder nodded apologetically to Alex before riding off, leaving Alex to stare longingly after him. When he finally turned back he was met with a teasing grin from you.

“Don’t say a word,” he grit out, glaring at you and you laughed.

“Whatever you say, lover boy.”

“I hate you.”

“You love me.”

___

The event was about as stuffy as you’d imagined it would be. After they’d lined you all up and announced you to the attendees, the master of ceremonies turned it over to the orchestra to play for the rest of the evening.

“How much longer do we have to be here?” You huffed, plopping down very un-ladylike into the chair next to your best friend.

“At least two more hours, probably longer,” Alex responded dejectedly and you sighed, taking a sip of your fruit punch as you surveyed the room.

Most of the attendees, both debutantes and parents, were slow-dancing to whatever piece the orchestra played. You would be perfectly content if you never made it onto the dance floor though you knew it was unlikely considering Mrs. Mercer’s overbearing and controlling nature. She’d be damned if her son didn’t dance to at least one song which meant you’d be dancing with him.

“Y’know, whoever chose fruit punch as a beverage for this event is an idiot,” you declared, holding your cup up to eye level as you stared into the red liquid. “It would be so easy to spill this all over my pristine white dress. Maybe I should. We’d probably get to leave and…” You trailed off.

Though distorted and colorized due to the liquid in your cup, you thought you recognized one of the young servers. Lowering your glass slowly as to not spill your drink (sure you’d threatened to but really this was a nice dress and you didn’t want to ruin it) you peered more clearly across the room at the boy.

“Hey isn’t that your boyfriend?” You asked Alex, grinning teasingly at him.

It was hard to be certain when the guy had traded his helmet for a neat bun at the base of his neck and his street clothes for a tuxedo shirt and black slacks but you were pretty sure that was the same boy who had run Alex over with his skateboard.

“What?” Alex hissed, looking around frantically and you weren’t sure if he was checking to make sure no one had overheard (no one had, you’d checked before you’d said anything) or looking for the boy in question.

“Your skater boy,” you explained. “Isn’t that him over there with the tray of hor d’œuvres?”

“Oh my god.”

“Well, what are you waiting for? Go introduce yourself, get his number!”

“I can’t just go over there,” Alex exclaimed, parroting your words back at you. “He’s working!”

You huffed and rolled your eyes at his reluctance.

“Fine. Then I’m hungry let’s go get a snack,” you stood, dragging him out of his chair with you.

You looped your arm through his, not allowing him to get away as you pulled him across the room. You stopped in front of the skater boy, pretending to be occupied with selecting an hor d’oeurve from his tray. You felt Alex freeze up next to you and you nudged him with your elbow.

“Alright well, Alex, I’m going to go sit over there,” you gestured over to a table nearby, “and let you guys talk.”

You slipped your arm from Alex’s, winking no-so-discretely at him as you moved away.

“I hate you,” you heard him hiss in your direction but you just smiled cheekily in response.

“So, Alex huh?” You heard the skater boy ask before you were out of earshot and you smirked.

You sat down at a nearby table alone, keeping an eye on Alex in case you needed to rescue him. However, once you saw him relax you let your gaze wander. Your new seat afforded you a view of the orchestra and you found your gaze drifting off towards the musicians. You hadn’t realized you’d been staring at one particular musician until the dark-haired cellist winked at you.

You felt heat immediately rise to your cheeks and you quickly averted your gaze, embarrassed at being caught by the cute musician. Of course, your gaze then fell to a violinist across the orchestra setup. To your surprise he was already staring at you, a cocky smirk on his face as he continued to play, completely disregarding the sheet music and conductor in front of him.

He was undeniably attractive, though in a different way than the other musician who had caught your eye. Still, you had the undeniable urge to wipe the smirk off his face and make him as flustered as you were so you did what the cellist had just done to you moments before. You winked. However, it didn’t seem to phase him very much, the flash of surprise crossing his face quickly replaced with a smug grin and you groaned internally. Not wanting to drop your facade and surrender, you did your best to smile back demurely before you looked away, eyes going back to where Alex and his skater boy had been standing.

You couldn’t help your surprise when you discovered that they were no longer standing where you’d left them. Your eyes began to flit frantically around the ballroom, searching for the familiar frame of your best friend but you couldn’t find him. That’s when you noticed that the skater boy was nowhere to be found either and you smirked to yourself, realizing that they must have snuck off somewhere.

Yeah, Alex definitely owed you.

You had just pulled your phone out to text him as much when the orchestra stopped playing. The sudden absence of sound shocked you and you looked up to see the MC stepping up to the microphone as the musicians began filing out. The MC explained that the orchestra was taking a brief break and you tuned out the rest of his announcement, your eyes being once again drawn to the brunet violinist. He tilted his head towards the stage door, silently inviting you to join him backstage and you quirked a brow in surprise. He winked in response, smiling cheekily before he turned to follow the rest of the orchestra off the stage.

You sent a quick text to Alex in case he came back before you snuck out the back, doing your best to blend in with the musicians. You were certain you were unsuccessful given your white gown and their concert blacks but nobody stopped you so you didn’t give it much thought.

It took you a moment to locate the violinist and you were surprised to find him with the dark-hair cellist who had winked at you. The violinist was sitting backward in his chair, elbows resting on the back while the cellist sat crisscrossed on another. They both looked up at you as you made your way towards them, each smiling at you, though the violinist’s was more of a smirk.

“Pull up a chair, mystery girl,” the violinist invited gesturing to a nearby black plastic chair when you approached.

“Mystery girl?” You quirked a brow quizzically as you slung the chair around to face them. You sat down gingerly, careful of your gown before pulling off your white gloves, gratefully to get rid of the fabric now that you were away from the rest of the attendees.

“Well we don’t know your name,” the violinist explained, studying you intently as if he was trying to figure out how you fit into this whole event.

“Well I don’t know yours either,” you tossed back with a smirk of your own as you crossed your legs and leaned back in your seat.

“Oh, well, I’m Luke,” the violinist introduced before gesturing to the cellist, “and this is...”

“Reggie!” The cellist chimed in, “Can we know your name now?”

“Y/N,” you answered simply with a smile. However, that smile turned into narrowed eyes and a look of suspicion as you watched the two boys exchange looks.

“You’re Alex’s y/n,” Reggie spoke aloud and you did a double-take.

“I’m who’s y/n?” You spluttered in disbelief.

“You are Alex’s best friend right? Alex Mercer?” Luke asked, leaning forward and causing his chair to tilt onto two legs.

“I- yeah, but how do you know that?”

“We’re in a band together! I play the bass and Lu…” Reggie trailed off, his voice going from excited to confused as he watched your expressions shift. “You don’t know about the band.”

“No, I do not,” you grit out, mind starting to wonder what else Alex had left out. Your best friend seemed to be living a secret life. “I’m gonna fight him.”

You pushed out of your seat, ready to hunt your best friend down and force him to tell you everything.

“No, wait!” Luke reached out a hand to grab your wrist, stopping you in your tracks. “Why do that when we could mess with him?”

You turned, giving him a thoughtful look. “Go on.”

“Well, obviously he kept us apart for a reason, imagine how freaked out he’ll be if he finds out we already know each other!”

“I like the way you think,” you smirked, sitting back down in your chair and pulling out your phone. “Okay now smile.”

You took a couple pictures of the two boys, wanting some options to post on Instagram later.

“Oh wait! We need some of you!” Reggie exclaimed, having caught on to your plan without you having to verbalize it.

You nodded in agreement as he pulled out his phone. You did a couple quick poses before dissolving into laughter, unable to take yourself seriously. The three of you sat that way for a few more minutes, getting to know each other and plotting your revenge on Alex.

Before you knew it the orchestra’s break time was up and the musicians began to file back onto the stage, leaving you to sneak back into the ballroom. Alex was waiting by the side door with a quizzical face.

“What were you doing back there?” He asked and you had to fight to keep the smirk off your face.

“Just visiting some friends.”

Part 2

___

TML Taglist: @bright-molina​ @bright-patterson​

JATP Taglist: @meangirlsx​ @morganayennefertyrell​ @n0wornever​

[yanderecandystore]

hi! since lots of schools have shot down because of the pandemic, how would the twins (separated) would react to not being able to see their crush (gn) at all because of their school shutting down? kisses and take care 💗

Okay so- I personally try to bring the pandemic as minimum as I can because I personally prefer using fanfic writing and reading as a way of escapism- But sure boo, I could try!

And thanks boo, take care as well.

TW/Tags: I won't lie to you, this I'll be very a very short hc // pandemic related (mentions of virus, mental health issues caused by the lockdown, quarantine issues, disease, deaths, etc-) // gender neutral reader :3 //

🍭꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍰꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖🍭

Take care [Yandere!Bullies OCS x GN!Reader - Headcanons]:

→ Adrien Coldwell:

I'm sorry boo, but I don't think he would allow you to be far away for such a long time.

At the start of the pandemic, sure! He thought that quarantine would be over earlier, so he wasn't really caring about being away from each other for a couple of months. His reaction when noticed that the lockdown wouldn't end any time soon was to enter the 5 stages of grief over not being able to see you because of his parents' fear of anything happening to their son.

They were almost so overbearing with the hygiene and the constant protection, yet he knew why they were so careful to not attract and pass the disease. At least they were listening to the instructions and we're making all that they could to protect their children and reassure that everything will be alright.

I guess they aren't scared anymore, just a bit shocked still from how absurd this whole event sounds like. No one really expects something like that to happen in their lifetime- Adrien certainly didn't.

Then again, it's true he shouldn't see you at all during these times but- Really? Do you really think he would hold it in for a whole year?

Adrien stalks your social media like it's the sacristy thing he ever read, he sends a couple of private messages here and there, and even if you block him he won't stop being annoying. He constantly asks if you're doing alright and how has your day been, what have you done today that made you feel better.

It's endearing but also very, very annoying. Unless you try your cell phone in the nearest lake, I don't think you'll have peace during quarantine.

And even then- He would still buy and send a new one to you, so ya know- It's useless trying.

He would try to convince you to spend some time in his mansion- I mean, come on, if you aren't disrespecting the hygiene instructions and keeping a safe distance, you could totally stay there for like…. A month….. I-If you want, you could stay like- Forever, but that's on you.

→ Alexandra Coldwell:

She is probably more devastated than she should be. Alexandra also thought that the lockdown would end sooner- But here we are! Struggling to keep her patience and sanity as she cries away her yearning for you.

She is a bit dramatic, but I do think that this situation is causing a lot more harm than people think it is- Alexandra is a really social person, and she is an athletic gal who likes going out so- Being inside the mansion not being able to see other people and keep her self fit is stressing her out. Of course her parents don't want her to go out and about, and she also doesn't want to put anyone at risk-

So you can imagine her constant struggle to keep on touch with you, and also trying to maintain a civil conversation without being mean and causing you to hang up on her.

Maybe you would enjoy her calling here and there- It makes you feel a bit better remembering what your routine used to be like, even if that means a routine of bullying and mean comments. At least she is trying her best to be friendly, she sounds very concerned about you.

She would call you to maybe come over whenever you felt like it- Maybe you two could even get something to eat, right?

🍭꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍰꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖🍭

[hypmic-writings]

How would Riou, Rosho and dice be as big brothers? headcanons please!

━━ ∘◦ ☆ ◦∘ ━━

Pairing: Riou Busujima x sibling!reader; Dice Arisugawa x sibling!reader; Rosho Tsutsujimori  x sibling!reader

Genre: Fluff; Platonic

Warnings: None

A/N:  Just a disclaimer that I don’t have any brothers, only sisters, so I’m sorry if any of these seem like incorrect brotherly interactions. Definitely let me know though; I’m always looking to improve writing scenarios I don’t have personal experience with! Anyways, I hope you like it~

⋘ ──── ∗ ⋅◈⋅ ∗ ──── ⋙

Riou Busujima:

Riou is definitely going to be the slightly-overbearing yet incredibly supportive older brother

he’s going to want you to be able to do whatever you want, so he’s more than happy to take the blame from your parents when the two of you mess up

however, he’s also the type to be the overbearing big brother and lecture you if you do things you’re not supposed to do

not because he’s trying to be mean, but because he wants to make sure that you’re being safe and doing the right things

he definitely encourages you to try out for every sport and every club and if you don’t make the team, he’s going to tell you that it’s okay and that there’s definitely a club that’ll appreciate you

he’s gonna nit-pick and make sure that you’ve done all your chores and cleaned your room and made the bed

one time you jokingly said that if he liked making his bed so much, he should just join the military and surprisingly that stuck with him

he had his growth spurt early and whenever he didn’t want you to have something he literally just holds it above his head or puts it up on a shelf somewhere which would make you seethe with anger

he might snitch on you if you sneak out of the house but I promise he’s doing it out of love

growing up you might have found this annoying or argued with him that he’s not your dad so he can’t tell you what to doo

but once the two of you are older, you’ll appreciate the fact that he shielded you from a lot of things that gave you the freedom to do what you wanted when you were young

he never texts you back but then will call you once or twice a month and the two of you will talk on the phone for hours

he wants to know everything about your life and surprisingly, he’ll remember almost everything from the previous call 

when he’s old enough to leave home, he’s always calling to check up on you and ask how your parents are doing

whenever he comes home for the holiday the two of you always hang around the house like you did when you were younger (99% chance one of you brings out the old game system and you get pissed when you lose because it’s been 10 years and  you’ve still never beaten him)

Dice Arisugawa:

Dice is the type of brother that you would be really close with but who would also just be annoying 24/7

don’t get me wrong, you love each other but he’s going to be the worst

growing up, he would definitely play all kinds of pranks on you and would buy all of the items at the joke shop just to mess with you 

one time he stole your prized stuffed animal and sold it for lunch money because he gambled his lunch money away in the school yard with the kids

your mother told you she would buy you a new one but THAT’S NOT THE POINT MOM

HOWEVER

he’s very clear that only he can mess with you like that though

I can 100% imagine Dice being the type to tell his friends how annoying it is that he has to take care of you, and they would say ‘you they’re so annoying’ and then he would scowl because only he’s allowed to be mean to you like that

if anyone ever bullied you, Dice is ready to swing

one time he got suspended from school for two days for beating up one of the kids because they called you a bad name

you yelled at him afterwards saying that you didn’t need his protection, but he just shouted back that it’s his job to protect you, no matter how annoying of a little sibling you are

the two of you ended up crying together after the argument and it actually brought you closer together

the two of you definitely bond over your annoyance with the lavish lifestyle your parents live

whenever your mother would throw fancy parties, the two of you would sneak away to go play video games or hide and seek

once Dice leaves home, you make sure to keep up with him (you always make sure that he at least has enough money to pay the phone bill so that you can reach him when you need to)

definitely the type to call you in tears, asking you to send him food and you begrudgingly do it because you’re not gonna let your brother starve

and that’s when he’ll compliment you and be nice to you of course

but you’ll just tell him he can repay you by winning the next rap battle and having enough money to pay for a place to live

Rosho Tsutsujimori:

Rosho is going to be the protective and caring brother

growing up he was probably relatively quiet and straight-forward, so he would always be up front about telling you to take care of yourself and be careful

the two of you would get on well and be on good terms, and Rosho would never involve himself too heavily in your life, wanting you to do your own thing as much as he wanted to do his

definitely the type to stay up late and help you with your homework if you asked him too, though

whenever you have friends come over, they always comment on how scary Rosho looks, but you would just shrug and say that’s just the way his face is

one time you almost choked on your school lunch because a friend of yours said that there was a rumor that Rosho was a delinquent

you love your brother and he could dress like a delinquent all he wanted, but there’s no way you could imagine the man who literally made you kill the spider in his room the previous day, as a delinquent

definitely lots of bickering and name-calling at the dinner table, but as soon as your parents gave you ‘the look’ the two of you would stop

there’s a lot of quiet time that you spend together - doing homework in the same room, just watching tv or even just playing on your phones

even though the two of you aren’t necessarily best friends, you spend a lot of time together 

when he starts to develop his stage fright, he wouldn’t want to lean on you, seeing it as a weakness from an older brother, but when you do support him, he’s going to be grateful for it

Rosho’s a pretty independent guy so unless you actively ask him to do things with you or help you, he’s going to want to give you space to do your own thing

however, as soon as you tell him you need his help, he’s giving it his all to make sure nobody’s bothering you or that he helps you however he can

once the two of you are older, you actually get a little closer and I can imagine you have a text chain that’s just filled with recounts of annoyances during the day and cute gifs of cats

you make it a point to meet up with him at least once a month just so that you can both catch up and still be a part of each others’ lives

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

[stormra]

For Osomatsu-san: How would the brothers treat their S/O, who’s a popular musician but has to travel around all the time (tours, concerts, etc)? Would they come with their S/O? Or stay and support them from afar because they don’t want to get in their way?

❝ 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐬𝐮𝐧𝐨 𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐩𝐨𝐩𝐮𝐥𝐚𝐫 𝐦𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐧 𝐒/𝐎

— type : headcanons

— characters : the matsuno brothers

     

𝙊𝙎𝙊𝙈𝘼𝙏𝙎𝙐  : 

❧     While he’d support you and love you unconditionally regardless of what you want from him, he’d definitely want to leech off of your successes. You can expect him to instantly say yes upon being asked to travel with you. Staying home wouldn’t even be a consideration for an array of arguably stupid reasons that read as follows:

❧     “It’s no big deal! What’s mine is yours and what’s yours is mine, baby~”

❧     However, if you’re into being a less-official version of a sugar Mommy/Daddy/Parent, you might not care about him tagging along and using you for your money/fame. At least he loves you? Just look at it that way! Osomatsu isn’t all that bad.

❧     Sure, he’s greedy, but he’s not extremely selfish. He’d recognize that you have feelings that deserve to be acknowledged. Besides, we all know he doesn’t think very highly of himself in the first place. 

❧     He’d love to listen to you play/sing for him and would often go out of his way to watch you perform. While he might not know much about music, he’d value your dedication, as he has exactly 0 ounces of that mystical concept. Knowing that the people he loves are successful is euphoric.

❧     If you show him off to the public or so much as walk around with him in public, expect him to die. He wouldn’t be focused on suddenly gaining fame and popularity like some others would. Instead, he’d be stuck on the fact that you, a popular musician, chose to show the world that you belong to him and that he belongs to you... just a lowly NEET dating someone exponentially more successful. Something about that would warm his heart and make him feel valued for once.

❧     Did someone say he’d finally accept his identity? He’s constantly having internal crises. Your presence would only solidify his existence.

❧     While he wouldn’t be much of a comforting boyfriend, he’d pose as a great distraction. The celebrity life can get rather tiresome; Osomatsu would recognize this without a problem. Instead of coddling or comforting you, he’d use his childish nature to distract you from the stresses of the music industry, influencing you to take breaks and lazy days with him.

❧     He’d constantly ask to be in any sort of photo shoots you may have. He just wants to pose in funny positions with you! 

𝙆𝘼𝙍𝘼𝙈𝘼𝙏𝙎𝙐 :

❧     While Karamatsu wouldn’t exactly want to stay home in order to keep himself from making things harder for you, he’d do so if you asked or made it clear that you’d prefer such an option. If you’d expect him to ask, no. He’s far too polite to do that. 

❧     It’s important to note that he considers himself to be a bit of a musician as well. Therefore, he’d be even more compelled to go with you, but, again, he’d never ask. You’d have to ask him and express a trillion times that you actually want him to tag along. 

❧     This might sound like a stretch, but that grandiose act he loves so much? It would disappear rapidly with the knowledge that so many people could learn of his existence just by dating you. Without even being the celebrity in the relationship, he’d crack under pressure, reverting back into the timid, people-pleasing man he truly is. Get ready to have some fun teasing him and/or helping him establish true confidence. 

❧     Expect a lot of praise to fall from his lips. He would admire your successes without being overbearing. In fact, you’d inspire him. A lot. You can also expect a lot of his own songs to center around your success and beauty.

❧     Honestly? Give him musical advice! He’d accept it wholeheartedly; especially if it comes from someone like you. Your career would influence him to grow and learn from his mistakes in the field. You might have a model singer as a boyfriend before the end of the tour! While giving him critique, be sure to praise him just as much. He loves you endlessly, but lots of critique with little praise will leave him feeling a bit insecure. However, I’m sure you know this, as this aspect of his character is far from unnoticeable. Be gentle with him. He deserves it!

❧     If you imagine playing/singing duets with him, you’re on the right track. He’d love to sing for you and hear you sing with him in return. The same can be said for any instrument you may happen to play. He’d eat it right up! You’re his everything, after all.

❧     Will wear your merch—especially merch with your face on it. Please wear his tank top with his face out of respect.

𝘾𝙃𝙊𝙍𝙈𝘼𝙏𝙎𝙐 :

❧      Although some would assume he’d want to stay home for your sake, as he calls himself the most “responsible” brother, I know it wouldn’t be anything like that. Have you seen the way he acts around Nyaa-chan? This guy would ask you daily, disguising his motives with innocent claims. He’s a tricky bastard who should never be underestimated.

❧     “I only want to make sure everything goes smoothly for you!”

❧     “Don’t you need an assistant? Emotional support?”

❧     “If you don’t want me to come, I understand, but I think this could be a learning experience for the both of us!”

❧     While he would be more than willing to be your crutch and sense of normalcy, for he isn’t heartless, we all know he has a weird thing for idols and that would primarily spawn his desire to travel on tour with you. It doesn’t matter if you’re nothing like the idol he praises. You’re close enough and that’s undeniably attractive to him. 

❧     The fact that he’s even dating a musician is enough to scare him. Can you imagine how he’d act traveling with one? Pushy and controlling, you’d hardly catch a break, as he’d be riding your ass to get things done and to take care of yourself. If you like that sort of thing, good for you. If you don’t, then you’d need to talk to him about it. Although executed with good intentions, his overbearingness can be... well, overbearing. 

❧     Please keep him humble. As we know his ego is the size of the sun, he’d willingly or unwillingly use your existence as his partner to set himself apart from his brothers. Again, we know he already thinks very highly of himself, so I wouldn’t be surprised if he started using your relationship as a boost to get ahead of his “worthless” siblings. 

❧     “I’m dating a musician and you five can’t even get jobs!” 

❧     However, he’d never you to show him off to the public.

❧     On a more wholesome note, as I feel bad for giving him mostly negative headcanons, his doting-ness would be welcomed as well as detested. On your bad days, he’d be there to comfort you and offer objective solutions. Albeit uncharismatic, he’s rather skilled at speaking and getting his words across when they need to be conveyed properly.

❧     He buys all of your merch and wears the shirts everywhere. Really. 

𝙄𝘾𝙃𝙄𝙈𝘼𝙏𝙎𝙐 :

❧     It would take a lot of convincing on your behalf if you desperately want this man to travel with you.

❧     The threat of exposing himself to the public is a deep-rooted fear that keeps him from doing simple things within his mundane life—so one can only imagine the stress that would sit on his shoulders in an environment such as the celebrity one. He’d constantly find himself within ruts and deep pits, trying to stay out of the spotlight. 

❧     In that case, he’d be staying home. Let him stay home. However, the problems wouldn’t end there, so you best be on your toes.

❧     Jealousy can overrun the best of us. Ichimatsu couldn’t stomach the idea of going with you in the first place, but that wouldn’t stop the intrusive thoughts telling him that you’d end up leaving him for another musician who is leagues more talented and better looking. This obviously wouldn’t be your fault; he’s always been disgustingly insecure. A lot of communication would need to be reached: such as phone calls and texts. Although he wouldn’t be clingy, he’d need some frequent reassurance that you, in fact, love him. Praise him for being so sweet for you. Call him handsome as you FaceTime. Hell, write a short song for him. 

❧     On another note, you as a musician would literally be his northern star. As a man so shrouded in negativity, seeing you, a person who can communicate feelings through fingers or a voice, shining like the sun whilst on a stage surrounded by thousands, would leave his soul feeling all light and fuzzy. The mere thought that his partner is someone so ethereal would bring him some form of internal peace.

❧     He’d listen to your music every night. It’s how he’d fall asleep. 

❧     Surprisingly, he’d be the best at comforting you and helping you stay grounded. He knows what it feels like to feel hopeless. 

❧    ��Sing him to sleep over the phone! If you play an instrument, play for him! Oddly enough, he’d have one of the most prominent adorations for your musical skill out of his brothers. Something about it just warms his heart. You’d impress him to no end and inspire him to try and do something with his life. 

❧     He’d name one of his cats after a song of yours! 

𝙅𝙔𝙐𝙎𝙃𝙄𝙈𝘼𝙏𝙎𝙐 :

❧     Undoubtedly, he’d be the most eager to travel out of his brothers. He’d ask you daily, jumping up and down like a hyper puppy. He’d hardly have a reason as to why he’d like to go, but something about it would forever and always appeal to him for some unspoken reason. He might just crave adventure and some excitement. 

❧     Are we really surprised?

❧     Identical to a dog, he’d beg. He’d ask with various bone-crushing hugs and weird stares that are hard to deny. He’s not exactly the brightest, but he’s cute and knows it. No, he’s not manipulative, but if he wants to go, he’ll sure try his best to convince you to take him with you. 

❧     He compares you to Karamatsu a lot. In good ways, of course. 

❧     Upon letting him travel with you, he’d be one of the best distractions on a bad day. Of course you can’t silence discomfort by just “being happy”, but Jyushimatsu sure likes to make you laugh even on your darkest days. He’d be a great listener that lets you spill all of your darkest worries as an artist. He wouldn’t give the best advice, but his presence would be an award in it of itself. Like Osomatsu, his childish nature is a breath of fresh air. He’d also be remarkably skilled at reading how you feel. 

❧     Undoubtedly the loudest supporter at your performances. Will go out of his way to make sure his voice is the one you hear screaming over a sea of thousands. Also, I can’t promise he won’t tackle-hug you after performances, let that be offstage or onstage. Be ready! 

❧     He’d love wearing your merch—specifically oversized t-shirts with your face on them! Much like Karamatsu, he thinks that’s all sorts of romantic and cute. He could care less about being viewed as weird. 

❧     There’s no way you can keep Jyushimatsu out of the public eye. He loves you and he loves having fun! The poor guy would probably have a hard time understanding why he shouldn’t tackle you in front of your fans. Your best bet is to establish some boundaries and come to a conclusion that works best. If I’m being honest, he’d be a harmless public partner. He’s just all smiles and laughter... mostly. (:

𝙏𝙊𝘿𝙊𝙈𝘼𝙏𝙎𝙐 :

❧     Ultimately, this little bastard is hard to read. He can either be the sweetest man to ever grace the Earth or the most devilish and selfish.

❧     He’d tell you he doesn’t need to go on tour with you, but the answer he’s looking for is a yes. He enjoys playing “hard to get” and wants to come off as responsible and kind. Much like Choromatsu, he knows how to play his social cards and will do what he can to seem like a perfectly indecisive partner who is “totally okay with whatever you want.” That’s a lie. If you wouldn’t allow him to travel with you, he’d try to give you reasons as to why you should let him go. He’s complicated and I won’t sugarcoat that. You’ll find that I try to be realistic with these heavily romanticized NEETs. 

❧     Regardless, if and when he goes on tour with you, except to have yet another mini assistant. He’d always try to offer fashion tips and elements of which you should include in your songs to appeal to the public. Although a NEET, he’d have a strong idea of what the fans are looking for and what you could do to be more appealing. However, he’d understand if you’d like to keep up with your own thing and stray from conforming. He’d be fine with whatever you want, but that wouldn’t stop his opinions and tips. Maybe he should become a musician. 

❧     He’d get fussy over not having enough of your attention. His degree of fussiness wouldn’t become overbearing, but it’s always important to acknowledge the feelings of your partners to reach a conclusion. Remind him that you love him and he’ll eventually come around. 

❧     Easily the best advice-giver. Can both solve your problems or be the shoulder you cry on. He’d be fantastic at helping you through the trials and tribulations that come from being a musician. While he might seem apathetic, he really isn’t and understands just how pressuring expectations can be. This star of hope has seen some things.

❧     Although it may seem easy to assume he’d only be there for the fame, that wouldn’t be his only motivator. He’d truly want to see his beloved grow beyond others. His confidence will skyrocket whilst on tour with you.

❧     He’d design most of your merch: very minimalist designs that fit in with almost all aesthetics. When all is said and done, he’d wear the clothes with pride. What a dork.

❧     Likes to post pictures of you with him on his social medias. 

[buckleysjareau]

masterpost of all of my fics

!hey hey, here’s mostly everything i’ve ever written for 9-1-1 and Criminal Minds. Reblog if you like any of them, and always come back to check and see if it’s updated. It’ll always be pinned. :) Everything under the read more line!

AO3: 9-1-1

Buck Goes To Pride (buddie, getting together)

Thinking back to that cold winter afternoon when Buck broke down in her arms after the shit show that was his coming out, she never thought she'd be helping her brother get ready for Pride. He shut that part of himself away for a long time. But eleven years later, she's handing her brother a box with a pride flag in it, and he's grinning from ear to ear.

Buck goes to his first pride featuring his journey of coming out, lots of hugging, and Hen being the best.

...or you could have mine? (buddie, pre-relatioship)

There's too much going on between his agitation, people talking over each other, the way his uniform feels more scratchy than it ever has, and the bright lights. He can't sit still and he knows he's starting to annoy everyone but he can't help it no matter how much he wishes he could with his medication.

ADHD Buck

agree to disagree (buddie, getting together, friendship)

Whoever thought a night of heavy drinking between Buck, Eddie and Chimney was a good idea, were out of their minds. When sober, they were idiots but shot after shot of tequila plus the couple of beers they each had before meeting up multiplied the absolute stupidity of the three men.

Buck, Eddie, and Chimney get wasted and Athena wins a bet.

i put a spell on you (buddie, getting together)

Eddie Diaz absolutely loved Halloween. Ever since he was an excitable eight year old boy he’d been known to go all out for the holiday. Twenty-four years and a son had not changed that.

4k+ words of Eddie being happy, scaring his friends, and loving Halloween.

baby you know i just wanna leave tonight (buddie, pre-relationship)

If there was one thing that people knew about Evan Buckley, it was that he didn’t want people to know him.

People find out more about Buck then he ever wanted them to know when the Buckley’s come to town.

i woke up from a never ending dream (buddie, getting together)

Knock. Knock. Knock. Knock. Knock.

Sensing the urgency, Eddie jogs the rest of the way. He doesn’t know what he’s really expecting, his mind not entirely focused, but for the second time that night, Buck surprises him.

“Buck?!”

Where Buck is going through it and Eddie has anxiety but they help each other through it. Featuring pet names and lovesick Eddie.

you feel like the sun on my face (buddie, established relationship)

Buck has a way of doing things and saying things that even in Eddie’s worst moods, he still can’t fight his smile.

Eddie's view on Buck's Wikipedia spirals and the beginning of the brilliant idea it inspires.

Part 1 of 3 in the ‘cause of i’m not too far and you’re my favorite place series

you feel like the perfect escape now (buddie, established relationship)

"In the symbolic language of jewels, a sapphire in a wedding ring means marital happiness."

Eddie planning his proposal with the help of Hen and Karen. Featuring good ol' Buck and Chimney banter, soft and in love boyfriends, and tooth rotting fluff.

Part 2 of 3 in the ‘cause i’m not too far and you’re my favorite place series

everything is blue (may + buck friendship, buddie, getting together)

When Evan Buckley is ten, he discovers nail polish.

In which Buck paints his nails, Eddie is flustered, and May is a matchmaker.

it weighs on me (buddie, established relationship)

The bad weather is gone, except it’s not.

In which Buck has a bad day and Eddie holds him through it.

101.9 (buddie, getting together)

Evan Buckley did not get sick.

Based on a tumblr prompt where Buck’s fever won’t fuck off so Eddie makes him take a cold bath.

when i’m walking in my sleep (buddie, getting together)

He finds that maybe he’s a little in over his head when Buck greets him with a loopy smile. He’s just a tiny bit in love with Evan Buckley, and having dealt with post-surgery Buck before, Eddie is sure his heart might burst with every zany grin and stage-whispered expression of appreciation.

Eddie takes care of a loopy Buck after he gets his screws removed, and truths come out.

you’re in my heart  (buddie, established relationship)

"I will not be broken... I will not be... fine, fine, you win! Stop with the face."

Eddie sings Buck to sleep after he finds out Eddie can sing.

we’ll be fine, you and i (buddie, established relationship)

He couldn’t believe his luck. He never imagined he’d be able to have this and now, he’s here. He has everything he could ask for and more in his boyfriend’s arms. Stability, happiness, love.

dizzy hurricane (buddie, pre-relationship)

“I’m a medic,” Buck mocks. “You’re a medic, but you can’t take care of yourself, apparently!”

Eddie refuses to admit he’s sick and finds his medic expertise is unreliable when it comes to himself.

tongue forgot the words and feet forgot the earth, it’s true (buddie, established relationship)

Eddie feels like he’s drowning in insurance payments, tuition raises, overbearing parents and anxiety. Things had definitely been worse on him when he didn’t have a whole new support system on his side but things just kept piling on, one after another, it was impossible for him not to feel suffocated. Every muscle in his body was sore from being completely tensed all of the time, the lack of sleep was getting to him, he’s in a foul mood to everyone that loves him. He just wants a break, needs a break.

Eddie finally gets a second to breathe.

you are my glitter and my gloom, i am so numb without you (buddie, getting together)

But right now, with Eddie by his side, he doesn’t worry. For the first time in almost a year, he doesn’t have to worry.

Buck has a flashback, or six, after the landslide. Eddie is there to bring him back, like always.

double vision wrapped in last night’s party clothes (buck centric, pre-relationship buddie)

"I have always been honest with you." When Eddie's voice cracks, Buck's composure almost cracks with it. "Why can't you just be honest with me?"

When Buck is let in on a long kept family secret, he doesn't know what to do. He almost ruins things with the one person that keeps him from feeling like he's floating away with no way to land, but it ultimately turns out okay with help of a little communication.

safe, better keep that thought to yourself (madney)

But days after, he still can’t stop hearing it in his head, over and over.

I love you, Howie. I love you, Howie. I love you, Howie. I love you, Howie.

with friends like ours anywhere is home (buck & tk, background buddie)

[@evanbuckley: you have two new follow requests.] @marjanmarwani would like to follow you. @tkstrand would like to follow you.

@tkstrand liked your photo. @tkstrand liked your photo. @tkstrand liked your video.

@tkstrand So, I see you have a boyfriend, too. I’m sorry for assuming haha

Wait, what?

Buck and TK’s long distance friendship featuring love advice, horrible nicknames and background Buddie.

wish i could keep you in amber, safe from the outside (buddie)

Neither of them say anything as Eddie takes shelter in Buck’s arms, face tucked in the crook of his neck, sheltered from all the bad that’s happened. A safe place.

He can only hope that he’s Buck’s safe place, too.

In which Eddie and Buck are struggling after the shooting and they finally have a much needed talk.

AO3: Criminal Minds

you light my fire (jemily, AU)

Emily's face stays complacent as JJ reaches out her hand to shake, only dropping the smug act and smiling genuinely when she reaches for JJ's hand. "Welcome to the team, Pennsylvania Petite."

Jemily Firefighter AU

Tumblr: 9-1-1

“i saw this and i thought of you immediately.” (buddie)

keep you warm (henren)

wheels up, buck (9-1-1, criminal minds crossover)

stand, you’re gonna run again (buck centric, buck & bobby)

bows and ribbons and glitter (buck & chimney, madney) 

“i believe that would be murder” (buddie, pre-relationship)

mac-and-cheesy (buddie, established relationship)

his saving grace (buddie, pre-relationship, buck centric)

what i love about the south (pre-relationship buddie)

unconditional, unadulterated (buddie, getting together)

home isn’t a place, it’s a feeling (buck & athena)

he’s special, they’re special (madney, meet-cute)

Tumblr: Criminal Minds

rough nights end in hot chocolate (garvez)

[ohscorbus]

1) The thing about Scorp and Al having PTSD was 👌 This might just be me, but I also like thinking of how it affected family. Like for Albus, I imagine James would feel so ashamed cuz he's the oldest so he "has to take care of his siblings" and Albus ended up hurt cuz James didn't do his 'job', so he would recede into himself as a kind of punishment for letting Al get hurt. Meanwhile Lily gets physically overprotective and defensive of Albus.

2) They think they weren't "the best" siblings and figure they should've been able to do more. "We never helped Albus out with bullies or with dad". But while Lily would throw herself into trying harder, James would straight up "I lost my chance cuz I'm crap" and spiral into trying to punish himself. Idk why my head goes there tbh.

I think that’s exactly the path James goes down in his head. He comes across as more confident and put together, but I don’t believe he’s totally a ‘what you see is what you get’ kind of character. I think underneath all that bravado he’s just as unsure of himself as Albus. He simply deals with it in a different way. He’ll act like he has the answers but really he’s just doing the best he can. That’s his Gryffindor bravery. But when this all happens and he’s hit with the uncomfortable truth it wasn’t enough? Oh it really hurts.

The thing about Albus and James is that they are two different types of people at the same stage in their lives where they’re so focused on figuring themselves out and how they fit into the world, that it’s all too easy to lose sight of each other. Especially with someone like Albus, who’s self imposed isolation after his sorting screams that he doesn’t want or even need James anymore. Although I do believe James sees through that. I just think he was simply at a loss as to how to deal with this Albus. (That he does have in common with his dad.) So learning that something has happened to him probably doesn’t surprise him, but it’ll shake him to his core.

One of the last interactions we see between them on stage is James boldly waltzing into Albus’s bedroom and showing off his pink hair and teasing him about having the invisibility cloak. It’s very James. He’s annoyingly happy and blatantly trying to get a rise out of Albus. His goal isn’t to necessarily upset him, it’s to bait him into any reaction because something is better than nothing and this usually works. Plus the two of them arguing over a toy or attention? That’s familiar ground. He can navigate that. But Albus barely acknowledges him. I always imagine James goes back to his room then and privately lets his mood stop matching his hair colour. I dread to think what goes through his head when he hears the shouting start though... but that’s for another post.

I think the worst part for James was the not knowing. Albus is missing and his parents and teachers alike are probably keeping him in the dark for fear he’ll do something equally as stupid to save his brother. And they’re not wrong. We don’t see James coming to Albus’s rescue with the bullies but then we don’t exactly get to see a lot of his school experience. James wouldn’t share classes with Albus but he shares the corridors between lessons, the Great Hall during meal times, and everything else in between. Students don’t just live in their common rooms and classrooms. I refuse to believe James didn’t step in when he could. But I can also see him holding back at Albus’s glares telling him not to intervene. It’s a delicate game James knows he’s getting wrong and I also bet he’s the kind of kid who lies in his letters home because he’s embarrassed he can’t mend the ties quicker than his brother is severing them. His energy should be spent defending him, not fighting him. He knows that. But his brother’s defensive shield isn’t one he’s used to being permanently on the outside of.

Albus’s eventual return brings relief to them all. But it’s also when the guilt, which has been slowly seeping in over the years, will fully take root in James as now he’s got to face Albus. Because no matter what anyone says, as the eldest it is his job to protect him and he failed. You’ll never convince him otherwise. And not just with Delphi, but everything that happened before that. Maybe none of this would have even happened if James had been able to reach him like he used to. I’m sure he does beat himself up about it, there’s so many ‘what ifs’, but his need to fix things is going to pull him out of that spiral pretty quickly. He let him down once, he won’t do it again. Albus is the wallower of the family. He’s the one who will drown himself in self pity. Whereas James is going to internalise then do something about it, and unpack it all later on. His focus right now is Albus and Albus needs his big brother at 100%. And that’s what he’s going to get. All he ever needed was a chance.

Albus will recognise his efforts this time for what they are and even though I’m sure it’s overbearing at times, he won’t push him away again. I don’t think it occurred to him what this was doing to James and Lily and when Albus is confronted with that he’s ashamed. He loves his siblings and he can’t imagine losing one of them, and he feels terrible for having put them through that. Like I said in my last post, Albus doesn’t always see the bigger picture. He’s intelligent but his big heart sometimes blinds him from connecting all the dots. But I like to think the two brothers come to an understanding though. They don’t blame themselves or each other, just promise to do better from now on. It’s not an instant fix. Rebuilding their relationship takes time. Albus will endure the occasional Sunday breakfast with his brother (at the Slytherin table) and terrifyingly, James will even befriend Scorpius. They both want nothing but the best for him so they’re exactly the kind of energy he should be surrounded by. He even lets them drag him to Hogsmeade. (The first round of butterbeers are on him, apparently.) It takes him a while to realise that allowing himself to accept this support has made school, and life, more manageable. Scorpius is everything to him but his family was his missing piece. Now he’s whole again he’ll thrive. Slowly, but surely. Yet I don’t think they become really close again until after they’ve both left Hogwarts. But they definitely do get there. The teasing, the heart to hearts, the unconditional love and support. They’re too important to each other for them to give up. They come back closer and stronger than ever before.

But it’s not just them. Lily is also part of this equation. I think Albus’s relationship with her is very different from his relationship with James. Albus gets frustrated being the little brother but he takes on his role of big brother wholeheartedly. He absolutely adores Lily. I won’t go into this now but I think her being sorted into Gryffindor affects him way more than he lets on. Because if there’s one person he’ll hide his feelings from to protect, it’s her. If anything, I bet he felt even worse because he felt disappointed. Especially since she was so excited. But anyway. She’s so young when all of this happens that it wouldn’t surprise me if her initial reaction is to just fiercely hold onto both her brothers. Quite literally. But I don’t think she’ll feel the need to spend more time with him at school because I don’t believe Albus was ever capable of completely shunning her in the first place. James was easy to push back because he’s already insecure, but Lily is very sure of herself. She knows Albus loves her and that he knows she loves him. So whether he liked it or not, she was already checking in with him on a fairly regular basis. He’d get quick side hugs in passing and he was her go-to for potions help. That kind of thing. The only difference now is that sometimes James has beaten her to it. Or Albus is the one who comes to find her. It’s a welcome change for all of them.

[kshitij1997]

Well, I always felt we are missing a sister for Anna and Elsa. Like as Elsa is driven by fear and her concern for Anna's safety, and Anna is driven by abandonment and the wish to connect with Elsa again. I would write another sister character who's driven by rage and bitterness at the situation the three find themselves in. The third sister would be the most self aware and mature, and would try to support the family through all their limitations.

By virtue of her bitterness and alert nature, she would be very cautious and extremely sensitive to any danger or threat against the family.

Another thing I would like to add is that while the movie explores Elsa's state of mind well, it doesn't go all the way. I believe that Elsa's state of mind would be far worse, bordering on obsessive, a point I would make in the scene when she builds her ice palace.

while the ice palace is beautiful, it is pretty hollow. I would have added some statues of the people who Elsa gives importance to in her life. She's so starved of affection and so deathly afraid of what could happen, that she would rather build sculptures and embrace them for comfort.

Giving it a quality similar to a shrine, or a museum if you will

With that in mind, we can imagine that when the weselton assassins try to attack her in her palace, and destroy some part of her palace by accident, her fragile state of mind gives way to murderous rage, which I explored further in an extract I posted here some time ago.

As for Anna, I would explore her fragile state of mind as well. Beneath a joyous veneer of optimism and an ever cheerful aura, may live a girl almost on the verge of cracking and collapsing into hopelessness and sorrow.

While writing a basic outline and conversing with some offline friends, someone pointed out that the three sisters in my fanfic are like , emotionally crippled and stunted. That sentence shook me; it was a fitting description.

Coming to Hans and how he would come in all of this, I believe his courtship with Anna would go as it was shown, as would his interaction with Elsa, with some moments of fleshing out. However, his interaction with the third sister would be very interesting to explore. As the two characters are self aware in different ways, and they have a somewhat similar outlook, then would really connect, which would make the inevitable betrayal far more devastating, I think.

Furthermore, as to why Hans did that, I would also try to explore that, and maybe shed some light on his humanity. Maybe an overbearing mother, a neglectful and exhausted father? Or a lifetime of being tethered then being let loose on the world stage. Maybe a close friend whose cause he is sympathetic to, and feels that power is the only way out?

Olaf, Kristoff and Sven are perfect the way they are written.

The third sister is just as frustrated with her lot as are Elsa and Anna, and is trying her damn hardest to make sure the three of them are reconnected, but it is easier said than done, with such complex personalities at play

Would the third sister have a fault of being unable to be emotionaly open or clear with the other sisters. Like she deeply cares but may be too prideful to show it, maybe even embarrassed? So she does everything she can to help

Yeah, I think she could be, however I see her as more bitter and confrontational towards others, and maybe her conversation with Elsa and Anna may come off as patronizing to the viewer or reader. Like she needs to be a sister to them, but she ends up trying to parent them

And also I think her past experience has left her wary of vulnerability. Therefore she would try to find all answers possible, backed by her caution

so when Olva warns Hans about not being sincere, she hopes that maybe he would know better than to deceive them. However Hans may conclude that she's onto him, and may also have begun to have feelings for her, panics and makes the decision that Olva has to go

Hans does what he does to Olva with a heavy heart, but he steels himself for he can't stop now. That's the road he chose, and there may be more infactuations in life, but it hurts terribly in the moment. Therefore in this version of the story, he may be more cruel to Anna out of spite, maybe projecting his own self-loathing, self-pity and anger he feels at himself, not just being cold-blooded

Olva's power lies in the tough choices that she makes, but she doesn't truly wish to be the public face, Anna and Elsa are more than capable of that now.

These were some ideas I had for the multi chapter fanfic I'm writing before it became an epic version with a tangled crossover. Ah well, these ideas are too good to be thrown away ;)

[mirkwoodshewolf]

Accidents happen; Queen x teen reader

*Author’s note*

Hey all, okay so here I am with a new request. After people seeing my last Queen x teen reader ‘time for us to look after you’ this anon wanted another teen fic with Queen but with the reader being older. So in this fic imagine you are 18. Now to the anon in the light that as I was writing and trying to finish your fic during Deacy’s birthday I kinda leaned a more close bond with our beloved bass player so I hope that’s okay with you. Hope you all enjoy my lovely darlings :)

Warnings: parent death from drugs, head injuries, fluff, bit of angst. But MOSTLY FLUFF FROM OUR BELOVED 4 BOYS :)

Taglist:

@psychosupernatural

@plethora-of-things

@ixchel-9275

@waddles03

@platawnic

@geek-and-proud

@queendeakyy

@coolcxt

__________________________________________________________

I was up on stage rewiring some of the bar lights so that when my dad would go to do the light cues to light up the bottom of the stage, they would hit the boys exactly on cue.  Wearing special gloves to ensure that no fingerprints got on the covering or the actual bulb smudged with fingerprints dimming the lights when they go up on cue.

“(Y/n), oh (y/n) baby~” I perked up my head and turned around to see my favorite Queen member the one whom I’ve considered a big brother to me, John Richard Deacon.  Known to most as the bassist of Queen, the ‘quiet’ guy, but to me he’s the Disco king, father to three beautiful children, loving and dedicated husband to his lady Veronica and as stated before, my brother from another mother.

“Yes?” I asked wearily.

“You wouldn’t happen to know where my Fender bass is at, would you?” I stopped my work and stood up.

“How dare you would accuse me of stealing it Deacy, I’m hurt.”

“I didn’t say it was you, I just asked if you had seen it.” Oh bugger. “But since I know it was you, where is it?”

“I plead the 5th!”

“You’re in England love, it won’t work here.” I gulped and quickly raced off with Deacy chasing after me.  I hopped off the stage and ran through the rows of seats with Deacy right behind me.

I would jump over the seats just to get into the next row before Deacy could grab hold of me.  We’d just stare each other down as we’d fake each other out trying to either escape or go on the chase.  I then raced towards the end trying to jump back onto the stage.  

As I rolled across the stage and just before I could make another run for it, I felt Deacy’s arms wrap around me and pin me down to the ground.

“Gotcha! You gonna tell me where it’s at?” I shook my head and that’s when I felt him start to tickle me.

“Gahh Nohohohoh! Deheheheacy stohahahp!”

“Then fess up love, or I won’t.” he mocked. “I have no problem doing this all night love.”

“Okay! Okay uncle! I’ll tell you!” He ceased his attack then before I could speak I heard the voices of the rest of the band come up from backstage.

“Ahh I see you’ve caught your culprit Deacy darling.” Freddie said.

“And it would seem you got a confession out of her.” Stated Brian.

“And now here we have the evidence. It was in her dressing room up against a guitar platform.” Roger presented Deacy with his bass.  He stood up and took his instrument back and I said as I got up.

“Ya’ll are snitches. Good to know I’ll be able to trust you guys in prison.” I joked.

“(Y/n)!” we all turned around and there stood my dad, Queen’s stage designer and main light technician.  “You know better than to distract the boys from their rehearsal.”

“Sorry dad.” It was then Roger came up and said.

“Ahh no worries (f/n). She wasn’t distracting us. She never is.” Roger said as he gave me a playful noogie.

A little background information about me.  As you know my name is (y/n) (l/n), my mum died of a cocaine overdose back in America 2 years ago.  Wanting a new life for me, my dad moved us across the ocean here to London where he got a job working at the Odeon Hammersmith theater.  After Queen performed their famed Christmas Eve concert back in ’75, they hired my dad as their permanent stage designer and light director because they loved what he had done to make them look good.

And just to get me out in the work field during my holidays, I helped with lighting all thanks to my dad for teaching me the ropes.  That’s kinda what helped Deacy and I connect was our knowledge of electrical engineering, and why the two of us just clicked with each other even being 8 years younger than him.

And of course bonding with the rest of the guys wasn’t hard either.  Freddie was the first one to just instantly love me cause of my genius work with the lights, he was even impressed when just last year my dad had allowed me to run the lights all by myself.  Brian and I bonded with each other due to our love for animals and Roger and I—we already kinda had that teasing big brother-little sister dynamic.

I’d embarrass him whenever he’d tried to bring in one of his ‘flings’ and he’d be the overbearing big brother when my dad was too busy to pick me up from school and intimidate the boys at my high school.  You know that kinda of stuff, but he’s also always there for a comforting shoulder and a good bear hug.

“Alright. But you better get back to work missy. I’m gonna start the light checks in half an hour and if those stage lights aren’t done by then, we’re gonna have an issue here.”

“Don’t worry dad I’ll get it done.” He just grinned at me suspiciously before heading back up to the control panel in the very back of the arena.

“You work too hard darling, we can back you up if you need a break.”

“Thanks for the offer Fred but I’m good. I’m….still kinda grounded for going to that party you invited me too last week.”

“Still? That was over 3 weeks ago.”

“Yeah and punishment is hard labor. But at least it’s not staying in my room with cabin fever.”

“I suppose.”

“Go on, you guys get ready for soundchecks, I’ll be five minutes anyways.” I then went back to the edge of the stage and continued my work on the bar lights.

Afterwards I was up on a high elevation machine to screw in the lights that hung along a track up on the ceiling.  Once I got done tightening the last screw so that it wouldn’t fall almost 20ft and really kill one of the guys, I saw all four of them starting their soundchecks. Since I was closest to Brian I couldn’t help but say.

“Hey Bri, I can finally see the top of your head.” He looked up at me and I swore he was probably giving me a bitch face.

“Ha-ha very funny (n/n).” he said.

“Oi (y/n), what’s it look like from up there?” Roger cried out.

“No different, just looks like a waterfall of curls sprouting out of his head.” I told him.

“Alright enough of this, you all had your fun.”

“Aww Bri I’m kidding. You know I love you right?”

“Sure you do.” He sneered sarcastically.  I chuckled and pressed the down button on the machine.  As I was being lowered down, I radioed my dad.

“Everything’s all good here dad.”

‘Good job sweetie bell. Head backstage and help Robert and Sam with the backdrops.’

“You got it pops.” Once I was successfully down and out of the elevator crane, Derek and Jason wheeled it away and I went to find Bobby and Sam.

It was getting close to concert time and as I was walking along stage right when I saw Deacy in his normal side of stage right practicing his bass and just when he thought no one would be looking, he’d try and work in one of his little Disco moves.  Which is why I have given him the endearing nickname, Disco Deacy.

It was then I heard something from up above.  I took out my binoculars and noticed that something didn’t look right with the track railing, especially on the left side.  There was this creaking and groaning sound and that’s when I had to act fast.  Quick as I could I cried out to Deacy and shoved him aside when I felt something hit my head and the next thing I knew, my world went black.

*3rd Person POV*

When John overcame the suddenly shock of suddenly being shoved aside, he turned around and saw probably the most horrifying thing he would ever see in his entire life.  There lying underneath the track railing was (y/n).

She wasn’t moving and it didn’t look like she was breathing either.  Without a word he rushed over and tried to lift up the railing but it was just too damn heavy with all the extra lights screwed onto it.

“Deacy! Are you alright we just heard a—oh my god!” Freddie gasped in horror.

“Don’t stand there gawking like idiots help me!” Deacy snapped.  Soon all the band members, plus a couple of stage handlers all piled into helping Deacy raise the railings to get (y/n) free.

“What in the samhell is going—(Y/N)!!!” Her father soon came in on the scene after hearing the crash.  He raced up towards the stage and he ordered. “Okay everyone lift slowly on three; One, two, three!” Soon the seven men began to lift the track with all their might. “Slowly, slowly, okay I can pull her out, keep it off of her.”

He then pulled his daughter out from under the track, finally seeing a small pool of blood on the stage.

“Okay slowly lower it back down. One, two three! Easy! Slowly!” Once the track was on the ground, the four band members surrounded the father and daughter.

“(Y/n)? (N/n), can you hear us?” Roger spoke.

“Here press this to her head.” Brian said as he got his jacket off and handed it to her father.

“Medic!”

“Someone call 999!” Soon the stage medics came in and took (y/n) out of her father’s arms and began checking her over.

Outside the ambulance finally arrived and the medics were loading (y/n) up into the back of the truck.

“Go with her (f/n) darling.” Freddie said.  (F/n) turned to Freddie and said.

“But what about the show?”

“For once there won’t be a show. We’ll tell John to cancel the show and refund all the tickets. We won’t have enough time to fix the stage. Plus none of us will be focused after seeing that blood.” Explained Roger.

“Go be with your daughter, we’ll try to get there as fast as we can.” Brian assured him.  (F/n) nodded and thanked the four band members for their help, most bands would’ve just left it be and not have gotten involved as they did just now.  

He raced up and asked the medic to ride with her, the paramedics allowed him to ride with them and once he entered the back of the van, two medics closed the door and the male tapped the door and almost immediately, the van took off for the hospital.

It took some convincing but Reid managed to work out with the manager of the stadium and they made an announcement to the audience that an accident happened and the show had to be canceled.  

Freddie, Brian, Roger and Deacy managed to find (y/n)’s dad in the waiting room.  He told the band that she was in surgery right now and come out once they had news.  Hours passed and finally by 4am a doctor came by with a clipboard and said.

“(Y/n) (l/n)’s father.” It was then the four band members along with (y/n)’s father all stood up.  The doctor was confused until her father walked up to him and said.

“I’m (y/n)’s dad.”

“Your daughter sustained a massive head injury. We did all we could to help her but the best we could do for her now is have her be in an induced coma.”

“Does that mean she’s—” her dad feared to continued but the doctor assured him.

“It’s up to her. She’s stable and all vitals are normal. It’s…..just gonna be up to her whether she wakes up or not.” He sighed heavily but thanked the Doctor.

“Can we see her?” asked Freddie.

“Of course. She’s in room 302, you can visit her now.” They all nodded and headed towards the room.

When the five of them came to the door, they saw (y/n)’s head wrapped in bandages, IV’s in her arms and all these hooks and wires attached to her as the machine showed her blood pressure, brain activity and heartrate.

“(Y/n), (y/n) it’s me. I’m here sweetie bell.” Her dad choked out as he took his daughter’s hand in his. “I’m here baby girl, I’m right here. Oh please let me see those pretty (e/c) eyes of yours. Let me know you’re gonna be okay.” He sniffed and kissed his daughter’s hand.

Taking this harder than anyone else, Deacy stepped out trying to compose himself as he gripped his head in his hands and tried to keep his sobs in, but they kept coming out in chokes.

“Deacy darling?” Deacy sniffled and wiped away his tears but refused to speak to Freddie because he knew if he tried to speak, all that would come out would be sobs. “This was in no way your fault darling, you couldn’t have known the track would collapse.”

“But……but…..”

“No buts darling, you. Didn’t. Cause. The. Collapse.” Freddie emphasized.  Deacy sighed heavily and cleaned himself up and he choked out.

“If she doesn’t wake up……I’ll never forgive myself.”

“She will. Our little light goddess is a fighter. She’s like a wild mustang. Can try to break her, but she’ll always keep bucking and fighting.” Freddie brought Deacy into a comforting hug, patting his back and rubbing it comfortingly.

Over three weeks passed and still there wasn’t any changes of (y/n) waking up. Even with the News of the World tour, any chance the boys got when they would perform back in England or they managed to get a day off, they’d go see (y/n) and ask her father if she had shown signs of improvement.

Currently Deacy was in there alone with (y/n).  As he listened to the machines that were his sign of her still being ‘alive’.

“I—I uhh….I know I’m not much of a singer, so if—you can somehow hear this I don’t want any teasing. As you know I wrote this for Veronica, but ever since meeting you, some of the lyrics seem to resemble you. You’re….like the sister I’ve always wanted and—I hope this song helps you see it.”

He took out a keyboard piano and placed it in his lap and began playing “You’re my best friend” as well as singing the song to her, hoping that somehow this could help her wake up.

*My POV*

I woke up to hearing the sound of a piano playing and a voice singing.  It wasn’t as powerful as Freddie’s, nor as high and strong as Roger’s and Bri’s, so….no it couldn’t be, could it?

Slowly I tried opening my eyes but for some reason they were so heavy to open, it was like my eyelids were made of lead.  When I did manage to open them, all I saw was a bright light and white walls. I also saw what looked to be balloons in the room as well.  I turned to my right to see dozens upon dozens of flowers, balloons and stuffed animals all in a “GET WELL SOON” package, as written on most of the balloons.

I then turned to my left to see Deacy sitting there with a keyboard on his lap and I finally pieced together that the voice was coming from him.  He briefly stopped and looked like he was about to break down crying.

“Don’t stop now Deacy.” I croaked out.  Wow how long have I been asleep? His head shot up and the second he looked at me, he looked like he was about to explode with a million emotions.  He quickly set aside the keyboard and rolled the chair closer towards my face as he said.

“Hey, oh my god you’re—you’re okay.” I felt him stroke my cheek and he repeatedly yet lovingly kissed over my face repeating ‘you’re okay.’

“A little dizzy and exhausted but yeah I guess.”

“Dizzy? Your vision’s not blurry is it? How many fingers am I holding up?”

“Deacy, relax. No my visions not blurry, and you’re holding up two FYI. What happened?”

“You—you don’t remember?” he asked me concerned.

“That’s a little hazy. I mean last thing I remember was running towards you and my vision went black after that.”

“(Y/n). The track beam that held the lights came down. You pushed me out of the way but got caught under the end of it. It took seven of us to get you out. God you….you were bleeding heavily from your head.”

“But—you guys still did the show last night, right? Did it still happen?”

“Uhh love. That happened over 3 weeks ago.” My eyes widened and that’s when I saw the three remaining members of Queen enter in with more gifts and when they saw me awake, they all proclaimed my name and raced over toward me talking all at once.  “Alright! Okay you guys step back, give her some air.” Deacy snapped.

“Oh love you still remember me don’t you?” Freddie begged.

“Of course I still remember you. How could I ever forget Freddie Mercury?” he sighed with relief and said.

“I was just worried that you had gotten memory loss from the bump on your precious noggin. Thank god you didn’t, and don’t you ever scare us like that again you cheeky darling.”

“In his own dramatic way, he’s glad you’re safe and awake (y/n).” Brian assured as he stroked my shoulder.

“Was I—really out for 3 weeks?”

“It felt like forever.” Roger stated solemnly.

“Where’s my dad? Is he okay?”

“He’s fine. Hardly left your side the poor man. Finally took Deacy being here to watch over you for him to finally head home and bathe.” Said Freddie.

“As well as get some rest. He looked like he was ready for an early grave.” Roger stated which earned him a back of the head slap from Deacy.

“It’s okay Deacy. It—couldn’t be hard for him. I mean first he lost my mom, and now the thought of losing me, it must’ve devastated him.”

“Well he won’t have to worry about that anymore. Because you’re back, and soon you’ll be on your feet in no time!” Freddie proclaimed.

“And he won’t be alone in taking care of you, because he’s got 4 willing volunteers to help nurse you until you’re back to normal.” Roger stated as he gently poked my nose as he emphasized the ‘you’.

“And just who would those four unfortunately souls be?” they all proclaimed at my negative answer but I couldn’t help but playfully stick my tongue at them.

And they did as promised.  But god never did I imagine what mother hens these guys were.  They always hovered over me any chance they got, never leaving my side, making sure I was given my medications, and if any signs of discomfort came they’d even have a fight about who got to be my ‘body pillow’.

Mostly Rog, Bri and Fred were the ones to duke it out, which only allowed Deacy to make his move.  So nine times out of ten he was my body pillow leaving the other three to wallow in self-pity of not being my body pillow/teddy bear.  As Deacy and I were alone, I told him.

“You know I don’t blame you right?” he sighed heavily.

“I know. But seeing you on the ground, blood pooling out from your head. I should’ve heard the thing snapping off. I’d give anything for it to have been me and not you.”

“But what if you had died? Where would that leave Veronica? Your boys, your baby girl, the band, me? Deacy you are valued and the most important person in so many people’s lives. I’d never forgive myself if it had been you in that bed when I knew I could’ve saved you.” He gently stroked the back of my head and kissed my forehead.

“Just promise me never do something that reckless again.”

“I’ll try, being a stagehand is dangerous business.”

“I’ll make you my assistant or fashion designer if it means you’ll be safe. And you know I can make that happen.”

“Yeah but it’d totally backfire cause for one I’ve got 10 left fingers when it comes to drawing, and I’d be the worst assistant ever.” He grinned and gently bopped my nose.

“I don’t think you would. Veronica loves you and she knows you’d give me every message she had regarding her or the kids.” I softly smiled and leaned against his chest listening to his heartbeat.

“Sing me a lullaby.”

“Love you know I can’t sing.”

“I know, but you sang to me at the hospital three days ago.”

“That was when I felt you wouldn’t be able to hear me.”

“C’mon pwease?” I begged with the puppy dog eyes. “Injured girl with a concussion demands her favorite Queen member sing to her.” He sighed but held me close rubbing my shoulder with his thumb and first hummed the opening notes to my favorite Beatles song “Here comes the sun”.

I soon heard him beginning to sing softly.  Now while he may not have a strong voice and sure it cracked at some parts, mainly when the range went a little higher, Deacy still had a descent voice. And when he would sing in a normal, low range tone to fit his range, it actually sounded good.  Soon enough his voice sent me off into dreamland.

“Goodnight poppet. Sleep well.” Was the last thing I heard before feeling a kiss right over the very spot where I had been hit.

[devianta]

MDZS/Persona 5 xover that literally no one asked for

I just feel like there’s so much potential for this. Think about it, both of these works have themes surrounding the damage gossip can cause, getting punished for doing the right thing (no good deed goes unpunished), what constitutes justice, and the consequences of shitty parenting, amongst other things. 

Mostly I just want to run wwx’s palace. He has a palace, there’s no doubt about that, and I want to run it. I’d kill 500 men for the opportunity. Also, pretty sure his treasure would be his lost golden core. Meaning, that if you successfully steal that shit you get to give to it him and then he’d have a new one without 1) him having to die and be brought back in a new body or 2) having to fuck anyone else up. (Phantom Thievery ftw!) You’d just have to successfully complete the palace. That’s all. 

Can you imagine wwx as a boss? Like, can you imagine that boss fight? He’d have at least 12 health bars. I mean, this is the guy who got shot by an arrow, pulled it out, and threw it back, instantly killing the bitch who shot him. This is the fucker who got disemboweled by his brother, stuffed his intestines back in, and then went and bought potatoes. This guy got a super experimental operation done on him, got stabbed with his own sword by wen chao (at least in the donghua, can’t remember if this happened in the other adaptations), and was then thrown into burial mounds. Like after all that, he was literally thrown off a cliff and he was still able to move around. Wwx is not unlike a termite: there’s really not much that can kill him. During the Sunshot Campaign he managed whole battlefields on his own. He played the flute days and nights on end without rest. 

His boss fight would be near impossible but I would be so willing to try. BTW, I’m imagining this taking place after he’s moved into Burial Mounds with the Wen Remnants but before jzx gets dead. You know, before everything gets irreversibly fucked. So the Stygian Tiger Seal will definitely feature in the boss fight. Most likely it’ll be something you need to steal it during the fight. I’m imagining that he uses to summon endless waves of corpses that prevent you from getting any hits in so you have to distract him in order to steal the seal off him and finally be able to deal actual damage to him. That’ll be stage one of the fight. Stage two will be fighting wwx and shadow wen ning. You have to defeat wen ning before you move on to stage three. Wen ning exclusively uses physical attacks. Wwx never uses physical attacks. He mostly commands wen ning but throws out curse and almighty attacks every one or two turns. Stage three is just wwx and he starts hitting you with a crap ton of curse damage with some almighty mixed in to spice things up. He repels most physical attacks and all curse moves. He’s weak to bless skills but has a 50% dodge rate for them. Beating wwx earns you no money (b/c he’s poor af) but he drops 2x Shijie’s soup (restores full sp to all party members), 5x wen qing’s needles (cures any status condition), 5x curse talismans (does 50 dmg), and one (1) golden core. 

What does wwx’s palace look like? Where is it? I want to say Lotus Pier and the distortion (what he thinks of it as) is a graveyard/mausoleum/something along those lines. But an argument could be made for burial mounds. I’m not sure what the distortion would be though in that case. I feel like wwx sees burial mounds pretty clearly. No, I think wwx’s distortion revolves around Lotus Pier and his family there. Mini bosses? Jiang Cheng definitely. Maybe Madame Yu? Shijie would show up (his palace wouldn’t be complete without her) but she wouldn’t be a shadow you’d fight. She’d offer guidance or healing items. Lwj’s shadow would definitely be there but I’m not sure what his role would be. At that point in the story, wwx’s unknowingly in love with lwj and sees him as a nice guy who asks wwx questions he can’t answer. He believes that he and lwj will inevitably end up on opposite sides of the battle field but ultimately wwx does not want to fight him. He feels that a death at lwj’s hands would be a good death. So he might be a shadow you have to impress or prove yourself to before receiving help. I feel like wwx’s palace would be a bit like Futaba’s in that he wouldn’t have full control over it because he no longer has complete control over himself or his demonic cultivation. Which is why I think there would be shadows in wwx’s palace that act counter to his purpose of pushing others away (not unlike in Futaba’s palace). If anything, I feel like his palace would be like a weird mix of Futaba’s and Nijima’s palaces. Because wwx has that distinct self-blaming loneliness that so permeated Futaba’s pyramid but he also has that single-minded determination and overbearing hubris that featured so strongly is Nijima’s casino. I don’t know. Nijima, in her boss battle, repeatedly yelled “I must win! I must win at any cost!” and I can kinda hear wwx saying something similar but it would be more along the lines of “I must protect them! I must protect them no matter what!” “Them” of course being his family and the Wen Remnants. 

 Other palaces to conquer in the MDZS universe? (It might be easier to list the people who wouldn’t have palaces.) 

Jiang Cheng definitely has a palace. A very purple palace. Lotus Pier, the Revenge. But what does he see his home as? An empty house? Jyl did say in the Untamed that three of them must remain together forever. And what happened? Wwx ran off with the last of the Wens and Jyl got married and left. If anything, jc is lonely. All he wants is his family back. So his palace would either reflect the state of his existence: alone in an empty home with no one to call his own, or it would reflect his deepest desires: his whole family returned to him. What sort of palace ruler would he be? He has that inferiority complex and brother and mother and father issues. (So. Many. ISSUES.) I can see his wwx shadow being completely obedient, because that’s sort of what he wants. He wants his brother home again and fulfilling his promise, to be the other half of the twin heroes of Yunmeng. It might be fun to fight shadow!jc and shadow!wwx at the same time. The Phantom Thieves vs the Twin Heroes of Yunmeng, loser gets sent to the Shadow Realm! (Just kidding. Unless...?) The other possibility is that wwx is completely absent from the palace but his absence is blatantly obvious to anyone that gazes upon the palace, like walking into a bedroom with no bed. There should be a bed there. Everyone knows a bed belongs here but there is no bed. Jc’s palace should have a wwx but wwx is not here. But he should be.

What would jc’s treasure be? His original golden core? Probably not. As far as he’s concerned (at this juncture) the golden core in his body is his original, restored by baoshan sanren. So it’s not that. The puppies that he lost as a boy, that he was forced to trade for an errant brother? A possibility. That was seemingly the start of jc’s problems. First he lost his beloved dogs, then he lost the love of his parents. Jfm focused on wwx to the detriment of jc and madame yu wouldn’t shut the fuck up about how jc couldn’t compare to wwx. If wwx hadn’t come to lotus pier, jc’s parents might’ve been satisfied with him. But I sincerely doubt that. There were clearly problems between J-fucking-M and Mad-Yu’s (can you tell that I think nothing of these two assholes god what I wouldn’t give to kick their asses in the metaverse I’d tear their fucking hearts out to quote ryugi) marriage prior to wwx’s arrival. Wwx’s presence there only brought those problems to the surface. Whether jc is capable of recognizing that truth is another matter. (Sorry, jc but your parents are shit and their marriage was doomed to failure before they even made their bows.) 

Or would wwx himself be the treasure? Jc’s parents are dead; they can’t be returned to life and therefore are unattainable. Jyl didn’t necessarily abandon jc and I doubt he sees her leaving as a betrayal. Jyl’s marriage was more or less inevitable. She’s able to easily visit. There’s no real conflict there. Wwx, on the hand, defected from Jiang sect. Jc has to pretend to loathe him, to not want him back when the opposite is in fact the case. Most of jc’s problems, wishes, and desires center around this one person. It wouldn’t be inaccurate to say that wwx is the locus of jc’s world, the axis upon which all turns: the triumphs and failures, tragedies and victories. When wwx is missing, jc looks for him. When wwx drops his sword, jc picks it up and returns it to him. Whatever happens to one brother affects the other. Even if/when wwx isn’t obviously present in jc’s life, he’s still there, even if you don’t see one brother next to the other. Even though jc doesn’t know it at that point in the story, wwx is the core of jc’s body and, therefore, it would make thematic sense for him to the be the core of jc’s palace.

Other palaces? Well, Jin Guangshan and Jin Guangyao obviously. Su She is debatable. I feel like he’d be a Mementos run. Besides, he’s not important enough to warrant a palace. Likewise, Jin Zixun would be a Mementos case. Wen Ruohan would have a palace but we don’t get to really know him as a character so I can’t say what his palace would like look except that it would encompass the whole of Ancient China. Wen Chao would likely have a palace even though he doesn’t deserve the attention ripping his palace apart would require. Most likely it would be a cross between Kamoshida’s and Kanoshiro’s. Jgs’ palace would probably look like Kamoshida’s and Jgy’s would probably be like Shido’s. 

Am I missing anyone? What do you think the characters’ palaces would look like? Whose palace would you most like to run? Let me know! 

[morningfears]

Morning Fears [Chapter One]

Rating: M | This is smut! No one under 18!

Summary: Charlotte Harper met Dylan Hemmings her freshman year of college when the two girls were randomly assigned to be roommates. With Dylan came her father, Luke. Charlotte never expected Dylan to become her best friend and she certainly never expected her small crush on Luke to become anything more. But when Dylan left her alone at their graduation party and Luke offered to take Charlotte home, their lives changed. | This is an AU in which Luke is a single father (aged 40/41) and Charlotte is a recent college graduate (22).

Word Count: 14.2k

Author’s Note: Even if you’ve read the previous version, this one has seven thousand more words and is a bit different. The next chapter will be significantly different so I recommend reading to catch up! This can also be found on Wattpad!

Chapter Two  | Chapter Three

“So, how does it feel to be a college graduate?”

Charlotte Harper, who had spent at least ten minutes staring at the pale pink cocktail sitting on the table in front of her, lost in her own thoughts, lifted her head at the sound of his voice. She blinked, ridding herself of the fog that clouded her brain, before she paused to take in the increasingly familiar sight of Luke Hemmings, the father of her random freshman year roommate-turned best friend. The moment she met his eye, Luke smiled warmly at her and took the empty seat to her right before he placed a glass of water onto the table and slid it across the black tablecloth until it rested in front of her.

Charlotte mumbled a quiet thank you, her voice lost in the noise of the graduation party surrounding them, before she took a sip and contemplated how to answer his question.

“It doesn’t feel that much different, if I’m honest,” she answered with a slight shrug as she tapped her nails against the plastic glass. “I kind of thought I’d wake up and feel like a different person but maybe it just hasn’t hit me yet.” She paused for a beat of silence and returned her gaze to the tablecloth in front of her before she shrugged again. “Maybe it won’t hit me until I finish grad school and am really, truly done. Whatever it is, it just doesn’t really feel like an accomplishment, you know? It doesn’t feel as powerful as I thought it would.”

Luke, who had felt an immense sense of pride upon seeing Charlotte cross the stage with more regalia than almost anyone else, frowned at her answer and shifted in his seat to move closer to her. He reached out to her, his touch gentle and warm against her skin as he took her hand in his. “It is an accomplishment,” he reminded her gently, his voice just loud enough to be heard over the thumping bass of a top-forty remix. “You have worked so hard these last four years. Everyone could see it by the ten pounds of cords and medallions you wore today.” 

When a small laugh escaped her lips, Luke smiled and gently squeezed Charlotte’s hand. She felt a surge of energy rush through her body, something akin to a jolt of lightning, at his touch and bit back a sigh of content as she attempted to focus on the words leaving his lips.

“You should be proud of what you’ve accomplished these last four years, Charlotte. You’re not the same person I met when I moved Dylan into her dorm room four years ago. You’ve grown so much and surpassed any and all expectations for you. It might not feel like it until you graduate for good but you’ve done something incredible. I know your parents are beyond proud of you. They gushed the entire ceremony,” he informed her with a grin, “and I know it might not mean much, but I’m proud of you, too.”

Charlotte could feel her cheeks begin to burn at Luke’s compliment. She knew that beneath the layer of foundation she’d applied early that morning, her cheeks were likely tinted pink and she hoped that her hair would cover her burning ears as she smiled at Luke’s encouraging words. She’d always been in awe of how quickly he could switch from being the goofy dad-next-door-stereotype, tripping over thin air and dancing to classic rock, to a pillar of moral support. It had always been a gift of his, though, and it had always been one of the things that Charlotte appreciated most about him. Hearing him tell her exactly what she needed to hear made her heart feel as if it would beat out of her chest and she couldn’t appreciate it more.

“It actually means a lot to me,” she said with a nod, a small smile on her lips as her tone conveyed just how sincerely she appreciated the encouragement. “Thank you, Luke.”

Luke, pleased with Charlotte’s smile and the obvious sincerity in her tone, nodded his head at her and gave her another soft smile. He kept his eyes on her for a long moment, a look that she couldn’t read in his eyes, before he turned his head to glance at the packed dance floor, his hand never leaving hers.

Though she’d known him for four years at that point, Charlotte had never understood why she had always wanted to impress Luke. From the moment they met, she had been desperate to gain his approval. She wanted him to be proud of her, wanted him to see her as an adult who could take care of herself rather than simply seeing her as some dumb kid who needed an adult to hold her hand and walk her through life. She wanted him to see her as an equal, as a partner, and not just his daughter’s best friend. 

She knew that he probably meant he was proud of her in the same way that he was proud of Dylan, it still thrilled her to know that he’d at least taken notice. It thrilled her to know that she’d at least gotten that far.

If she truly sat down and thought about it, if she let her mind wander to the subject of Luke long enough, she would have realized that the reason she was so desperate to make him see her as an adult, to make him proud, was because of the crush she’d had on him since the day they met. After spending hours watching him lift boxes and look incredible while cracking the best, lamest dad jokes she had ever heard, something she hadn’t expected to like so much, she couldn’t help falling for him.

Her crush had only gotten worse the more she interacted with him and she was reminded of just how deep it ran as she glanced at the exposed sliver of skin peeking out of the unbuttoned collar of his shirt.

Charlotte tried to be discreet, only looking when Luke glanced out at the partygoers milling about the dance floor, as she allowed her eyes to rake over the silver necklace that she’d never seen Luke without. She worked to memorize every detail of the silver chain before her gaze continued downward to take in the deep burgundy of his button-down. She bit at the inside of her cheek to stop a groan from leaving her lips as her eyes raked over the tight black pants covering his thighs, the same ones he’d worn to the graduation ceremony earlier that day, and she wanted to drop her head to the table and ask for forgiveness as she imagined sitting on them.

“Are you alright?”

Charlotte blinked at the suddenness of Luke’s question and nodded quickly as she averted her gaze to the dance floor. She removed her hand from his grasp and attempted to discreetly wipe her sweating palm on the tablecloth before she took a sip of water. “Fine,” she hummed after she cleared her throat. “I’m okay. Just a little tired. It’s been a long day.”

She couldn’t see it but Luke smiled at Charlotte’s flustered state. He nodded at her rushed words and said, “I can imagine.” He paused, following her gaze out to the dance floor, before he returned his full attention to her. “Do you have a ride home?”

“Dylan and Alex are supposed to give me a ride,” she informed him as she chanced a glance around the room, searching for her best friend’s familiar head of curly blonde hair. However, no matter how hard she looked, Charlotte couldn’t spot Dylan anywhere. Upon coming up empty handed, she frowned and reached for her cellphone. “Uh, at least, I hope they’re going to give me a ride home.”

As Charlotte unlocked her phone, Luke adopted the same frown she had worn only seconds before. “Dylan left half an hour ago,” he informed her.

“Fuck,” Charlotte whispered as she glanced at the message thread between her and Dylan. A text containing the same information, letting her know that Dylan and Alex had opted to head home early, greeted her and seemed to mock her as she stared at the too-bright screen. Charlotte let out a huff and her frown deepened as mumbled, “Well, Uber it is, then,” and tapped at the icon on her cellphone.

“I could take you home,” Luke offered with a slight shrug as he watched Charlotte tap at her phone. “I know it’s probably safe for you to take an Uber but I don’t like the idea of you alone with a stranger so late at night.”

“Oh, I couldn’t ask you to do that,” she refused with a shake of her head as she glanced up at him. “It’s fine, honestly. You probably have something better to do than drive me home, anyway. It’s really not a big deal.”

Luke laughed, a quiet sound, as he shook his head. “I cleared my day for the ceremony and the party. I’m all yours,” he informed her with a smile. “If you want me to take you home, I don’t mind at all. I don’t have any other plans.”

Charlotte hesitated for a moment, uncertainty bubbling in the pit of her stomach, before she nodded slowly. Luke’s offer sounded much more desirable than taking an Uber back to her apartment, she’d always had the worst luck with drivers, so she agreed. “If you’re sure it’s not a bother,” she said, “thank you. I really appreciate it. I’m not going to lie, I hate taking cabs or Ubers or something if I’m alone. My mom watches all those, like, Sixty Minutes type shows and is always telling me how dangerous they are. Every time someone goes missing, she sends me a text and reminds me not to go anywhere on my own. It freaks the fuck out of me.”

Luke, though he had never been an overbearing parent himself, could understand where Charlotte’s mother was coming from. He didn’t like taking her side, he never really liked her at all, if he was honest with himself, but he could sympathize with her on the issue of ride-share apps.

“I can understand where she’s coming from,” he told Charlotte as he offered her his hand to help her out of her chair. “It’s dangerous out there. I’m glad you and Dylan are practically attached at the hip. Makes me feel better knowing that you both have someone to watch out for you,” he said as he began leading her out of the ballroom.

Charlotte would usually offer a rebuttal, some kind of snarky comment about agreeing with her mother or treating her like a child, but she chose to bite her tongue as she allowed Luke to lead her out of the venue. Silence, not awkward or uncomfortable, fell over them as they entered the elevator and Charlotte found her mind clouded with a frustrating mixture of lust, guilt, and nerves as she allowed herself to get lost in her thoughts once more.

Being alone with Luke felt new and unnerved her as the elevator traveled down from the rooftop bar they’d spent their night in. She didn’t know how to behave without Dylan’s presence, questions of propriety running through her mind as she risked a glance at him from the corner of her eye.

Luke had become a parent young, only nineteen when Dylan was born, and despite the hardships he faced as a single parent, Charlotte had always noted that the years have been kind to him. Despite his age, or maybe because of it, Charlotte still found Luke to be incredibly handsome. The thought returned to her as she took in the soft curls of his blonde hair and the light stubble lining his jaw. The first thing she noticed about him when they met was the beautiful blue of his eyes, perpetually shining with kindness and warmth, and they’ve always made her want to lose herself in them. His nose, pointed at the end and an odd feature for her to find so endearing, has always made her want to grin and that was how she knew that she was completely fucked.

When the image of waking up beside Luke, kissing his nose and mumbling a soft morning greeting, flashed through her brain, she realized that she didn’t just find her best friend’s father attractive. She had an honest-to-god crush on him and she couldn’t seem to help but fall harder and harder, despite the nagging feeling of guilt that bubbled in the pit of her stomach.

Charlotte was never one to have a schoolgirl crush, had never been boy crazy, and those closest to her assumed that she’d never settle down. They assumed that she’d spend the rest of her life working, chasing success, and that she would be happy doing so. And for a long time, she believed that, too.

She sometimes wondered if she was broken, if there was something wrong with her for not having crush after crush or falling in love with perfect strangers as her best friend seemed to do, but she never really tried to change it. She accepted it, told herself that maybe love wasn’t for her, and moved on.

That was what surprised her the most about her feelings for Luke. The fact that her crush persisted, that it went farther than a simple physical attraction, had sent her into a tailspin at first. She had spent the night hyperventilating, worried that something really was wrong with her, until she reasoned that she just liked the unattainable. She reasoned that having a crush on Luke was safe, that nothing would ever happen, and that it was a healthy way to feel something without actually having to get emotionally involved with another person.

However, as she stared at Luke’s reflection in the shiny metal elevator doors, she realized that this was more than a crush. She had never felt the way she felt for Luke, had never wanted anyone so badly, and she realized that it was a genuine feeling of romantic interest settling into the pit of her stomach, right alongside the guilt. She genuinely wanted him, she was certain of that, but what remained uncertain was the question of whether Luke would ever want her back.

When the robotic voice announced their arrival at their destination, Charlotte barely paid it any mind. She moved on autopilot, following Luke out of the elevator and toward the parking lot as she stared at his back.

She couldn’t help but wonder what would happen if he actually did want her. What would their relationship even look like if something were to happen between the two of them? What would Dylan think? What would her parents think? Would it be an actual relationship or a meaningless hookup? Was she wrong to want him? Did it make her a bad person to want to be with him? Would it make him a bad person to want to be with her?

Those questions swirled through her mind as she followed Luke through the parking lot, each hitting her harder than the last. She didn’t notice Luke slowing as they approached his car, didn’t notice him come to a stop, and she only realized he was staring at her when she bumped into his chest.

“You’re spacing out on me again.”

Charlotte blinked, shook her head to rid herself of her swirling thoughts, and stepped back as she apologized for bumping into him. She noticed that Luke looked somewhat concerned, his eyebrows furrowed and his gaze intense, despite the teasing tone to his voice. “I’m okay,” she assured him quickly, a small smile quirking her lips at his show of concern. “Just thinking. Sorry.”

“You don’t have to apologize,” Luke assured her as he opened the passenger door for her. “We all get lost in our thoughts sometimes.” Charlotte watched, her eyes glued to his figure, as he rounded the car and settled into the driver’s seat. Before he buckled his seatbelt, he turned to her and said, “You don’t have to, of course, but if you ever need someone to talk to, I’m here. I can’t promise I won’t laugh if it’s embarrassing, but I will be here to listen.”

Charlotte playfully rolled her eyes at Luke’s teasing and shook her head as she watched him buckle his seatbelt. A quiet laugh escaped her lips despite herself and Luke looked pleased with himself as the sound reached his ears. He grinned to himself, immensely fond of the soft look on her face, before he connected his phone to the car’s bluetooth and pressed play on a classic rock playlist that he knew Charlotte would love.

A blinding grin settled on Charlotte’s lips as the sound of an Ozzy Osbourne track filled the car. As they sat at a red light, Luke watched her with a soft smile on his lips. She was lost in the moment, quietly singing along to Mr. Crowley, and it warmed his heart to see her look so content. He was reminded of the girl he met four years ago, carefree and happy, as he watched watched her dance in her seat. She looked carefree and happy, unburdened by the weight of the world on her shoulders, and Luke was happy to see some of her stress melt away, if only for a moment.

Luke noticed that Charlotte suddenly looked every bit the twenty-two year old she was and he was both completely enamored and battling the thoughts swirling in his head as he glanced at her out of the corner of his eye.

Though he’d known her for four years at that point, Luke had never been able to figure Charlotte out. She’d always been a source of enchantment for him, a figure that he’d wanted to understand but never could, and he’d sometimes forget just how little life experience she actually had as she always seemed to be such an old soul. But as he watched her, glancing at her out of the corner of his eye at every red light with the wind blowing through her hair and the moonlight illuminating her beautiful face, Luke almost hated himself for thinking of her as anything other than his best friend’s daughter.

A war raged within his mind as the playlist of classic rock continued to fill the silence. Luke had never been interested in younger women. Even as a twenty-something himself, he was interested in women a few years older. He always looked at their experience as a bonus, their wisdom as a necessity, and he didn’t imagine that would change as he got older himself. As he saw his colleagues date younger and younger women, appearing at work events with girls younger than Dylan and Charlotte on their arm, he wondered if he would end up becoming one of them.

He never wanted to, never wanted to be that person, but he knew that he couldn’t help who he was attracted to. Being interested in Charlotte was a new feeling for him, something that he never imagined he would feel, and it served as a constant source of guilt for him beginning the moment he realized he felt more for her than he should.

Luke knew that Charlotte had a crush on him. He had known since the moment they met how she felt about him. He could see the pink blush tinting her cheeks and ears, could see the nervous smiles and careful looks she leveled at him, and it was cute. Dylan told him once, not long after she and Charlotte really became friends, that Charlotte didn’t believe in love and that crushes weren’t really things she had experienced growing up and it flattered him to know that he could be that for her.

As Luke stared at Charlotte at the final red light on the drive to her apartment, her Freddie Mercury impression bringing a smile to his lips, he realized that he couldn’t quite pin down how he felt about her. He liked her, as a parent likes their child’s friend, that much he knew for certain. But the rest of his feelings remained an uncertain jumble in the pit of his stomach as he began to sing along to Bohemian Rhapsody with her.

Seeing her smile so widely, relaxing into her seat and channeling her inner Freddie Mercury, brought a smile to Luke’s lips. He wanted northing more than to continue driving, to bypass the parking lot of her apartment building and let her continue enjoying herself, but he knew that the night had to end somewhere. As the final chords of Bohemian Rhapsody rang through the car, Charlotte seemed to realize where they were and breathed a quiet sigh Luke was sure he wasn’t meant to hear as he pulled into a visitor parking space.

As quickly as her genuine smile faded, a smile that Luke can instantly pinpoint as being fake replaced it. “Thank you for driving me home,” Charlotte nodded, her appreciation genuine though her smile was not. “I really appreciate it. And, uh, sorry for the mini-concert. You have great taste in music.”

“The concert was the best part of the ride,” Luke assured her with a smile. “And you don’t have to thank me. I was happy to do it. Have fun with your parents in the morning. Dylan told me you guys were going to get breakfast and do some sightseeing before you head home for a few days."

“Oh.” Charlotte nodded slowly, her fake smile dropping as she glanced out the windshield at the apartment building in front of them. “Um, plans changed a little bit. My mom got a migraine during the ceremony. The lady behind you guys was wearing a perfume that didn’t sit well with her. They left as soon as we got a picture at the end of the ceremony and drove home. I’m driving back by myself tomorrow.” 

Luke’s own smile fell as he watched Charlotte attempt to keep her facial expression neutral and her tone even. He could tell now that her parents disappearance was at least part of why she had been so melancholy at the party and he wanted to reach out to her, to comfort her, but she quickly shook her head and returned the fake smile to her lips.

“It’s not a big deal,” she assured him with a shrug. “A few of my cousins are graduating high school on Friday so we’re having a big party on Sunday for all of us. We’ll just celebrate then.”

Luke’s frown deepened as he watched Charlotte attempt to put on a happy face. He noticed that she had always done that, had always attempted to please everyone and keep them from knowing when something truly bothered her, but he could see beyond that attempt as he stared at her. He knew that he shouldn’t attempt to fix it, knew that he should let it go and tell Dylan to check in with her later, but he couldn’t bring himself to do that.

“So you’re going to be alone tonight?” he questioned, his tone reflecting his concern. “And on your drive tomorrow?” When Charlotte repeated her shrug but said nothing, Luke’s frown deepened. He shook his head and glanced at her apartment building to think for a moment before he returned his gaze to her and said the first thing that came to his mind. “You should be celebrating tonight, Charlotte. You should be too hungover to drive tomorrow. You should be having the time of your life, celebrating a milestone.” He hesitated for a moment, let a beat of silence pass, before he said, “You should be surrounded by people who love you tonight.”

A warmth settled in the pit of Charlotte’s stomach as Luke’s words washed over her. The genuine concern in his tone, the softness of his voice as he relayed his dismay at her having to spend the night alone, brought a soft smile to Charlotte’s face as she shrugged yet again. “That’s just the way it goes for me,” she informed him with a sad sigh. “This isn’t the first time I’ve celebrated something important alone and it won’t be the last. I’ll probably still be too hungover to drive tomorrow,” she told him with a slight smile, “but it’ll be because of Chopped reruns and a bottle of wine. And, I mean, like I said earlier, this doesn’t really feel like that big a deal anyway. I got to party with you and D and Alex so that was enough.”

Luke stared at her, the frown not leaving his lips. Dylan had told him before that Charlotte had a fairly lonely childhood, that her parents often paid more attention to her siblings than to her and that she had learned to deal with disappointment in a way that broke Dylan’s heart, but to hear Charlotte so nonchalantly shrug off her parents leaving her graduation broke his heart.

When Luke opened his mouth to point out that she shouldn’t have to be alone, that the party was a surface-level gesture, if anything, Charlotte truly laughed. “If you’re so concerned about me being alone, please feel free to come up and watched an episode or two of Chopped with me. I have to warn you, though, I’ve seen all of them so I can tell you who wins the moment I see the chefs appear.”

Charlotte’s playful smile made Luke laugh, his frown lightening for a brief moment, before he hesitated. He knew that it wasn’t a good idea. He knew that the best thing for him to do would be to go home and possibly send Dylan over to ensure that Charlotte didn’t spend the night alone, or at least get her to send Charlotte a text, but Luke has found himself making bad decisions in Charlotte’s presence and this proved to be no different.

Before he could stop himself, Luke nodded. “I haven’t watched much Chopped but I guess I’ll just have to try and choose my own winner before you can tell me, then,” he teased, a soft smile on his lips, as he unbuckled his seatbelt. “Maybe while I’m at it, I can keep you from getting too hungover to drive home tomorrow.”

Charlotte playfully rolled her eyes at Luke’s teasing comment and sighed, “My hero,” before she laughed and reached to unbuckle her seatbelt. Before she could open the car door for herself, Luke rounded the vehicle and opened the door for her. When she thanked him, Luke nodded his acknowledgment and gestured for her to lead the way up the stairs. 

Luke had only been to Charlotte’s apartment twice before, the first time to help her move into the apartment and the second to help her and Dylan put together a birthday surprise for Alex. He remembered it being cozy, small but comfortable, with black and white and blue pieces decorating the entire space. He remembered noting a lack of photos on the walls, a lack of art and personal effects, and it all made sense to him after Dylan told him about Charlotte’s life. He understood why there were no reminders of her childhood or her family scattered around and he wondered if anything had changed since his last visit.

As Charlotte dug through her bag for her keys, she mumbled, “I have to warn you before you come, my place looks like a hurricane hit it. Between packing for the trip home, getting ready for graduation, and work, I haven’t had much time to clean.”

Luke rolled his eyes at Charlotte’s words because he knew her. He knew that she was the tidiest twenty-something he’d ever met, like would ever meet. Every time he visited the dorm that she and Dylan shared, the only cleaning supplies he found were tucked away in Charlotte’s closet. Once, he’d even walked in on Charlotte cleaning the apartment that Dylan lived in alone after they both moved into one bedroom places of their own.

Luke imagined a pair of shoes scattered near the door or makeup left on the bathroom counter but he felt a jolt of surprise the moment he entered the small space. Her black duffel bag had been left open on the dining table with clothes scattered around it and a pile of shoes sitting on one of the chairs. A wine glass was left on the coffee table and he raised an eyebrow. Luke shook his head, an amused smile on his lips, as Charlotte grinned sheepishly at him. By her standards, the place really did look like a mess, but he found it to be charming. It was just another glimpse into a side of her that he hadn’t, until that point, been privy to.

“Do you want something to drink?” she asked him, her voice pulling him out of his thoughts as she stepped around him to grab the glass from her coffee table. “I have wine, obviously,” she laughed as she scrambled to tidy the mess that he knew was killing her. “I have Jack, some rum, some vodka… I also have, like, non-alcoholic stuff, too. Grape juice, I think, and some water. I have La Croix that Dylan drinks and I think there’s a soda in my fridge but, honestly, I probably wouldn’t drink it. I feel like it’s been in there since I moved in and I doubt it’s any good anymore. I should through that away…”

Luke remained rooted in his spot by the door for a long moment, just watching with an amused smile on his lips, before he stepped toward the living area and began helping. He tidied up the coffee table, straightened a stack of papers and returned books to the shelf that served as a television stand, and by the time Charlotte noticed, he had already folded the oversized throw that had been lying in a heap on her couch.

Before Charlotte could argue that he didn’t have to help, he shook his head. “I know that it’ll be on your mind the entire time if your apartment is “messy” and someone is here to witness it,” he said as he adjusted the throw and straightened a pillow, “even if you know that someone has a daughter whose definition of cleaning is kicking things under her bed or throwing them into a closet. How did you even deal with sharing a living space with Dylan?”

“It was a challenge and taxing on my mental health,” Charlotte laughed as she zipped her duffel bag, now filled to the brim with clothes, and placed it into a chair in the corner, “but I feel like she gets it pretty honest.”

“Hey,” Luke laughed, an exaggerated frown on his face as he narrowed his eyes at her. “I’m a busy man. I clean when I can.”

“I don’t know that I’ve ever actually seen the desk in your office,” she laughed as she stepped around him once more to get into the kitchen. “Is there actually a desk under all those papers or do you just have so many files that they’re basically a house of cards, standing on their own?”

“There is an actual desk,” Luke confirmed as he leaned against the doorframe and watched her place her wine glass into the sink. “But the papers are holding their shape pretty well at this point. I feel like if I moved something, they’d all come tumbling down.”

Charlotte laughed at Luke’s admission and shook her head as he shrugged, unable to defend his actions. She beamed at him, a triumphant grin that made him smile in earnest, before she grabbed a clean glass from her cabinet and asked, “So, drink?”

“Just water, please,” he requested, watching as she poured her own glass full of grape juice instead of wine. “I see you’ve decided against the hangover. My plan is working.”

“Mm,” she hummed as she reached for another glass from her cabinet, “you can tell yourself that if you’d like.” Luke shook his head at her playful teasing, biting back an even bigger smile as he watched her settle into the personality Dylan loved to gush about but he had yet to see, and nodded his thanks as she handed him his glass.

“I figured I’d be annoyed enough with the traffic,” she explained with a shrug, “I hate California traffic more than just about anything.” She paused for a moment and glanced at her glass for a moment before she returned her gaze to him and smiled. “Juice always feels better when you drink it out of a real glass,” she defended as he grinned at her choice. When she held up her glass, asking for a toast, Luke humored her before they both took a sip of their respective drinks. “Now, Chopped marathon or no?”

Luke smiled at her and gestured for her to lead the way before he followed her back to the couch. “You’re a dad, you like technology, I’m sure you can navigate my Hulu. Chopped is on my ‘keep watching’ tab. Do you mind if I change out of this dress super quick? It’s stupid cute but I feel like I might die if I have to stay in it any longer.”

“What kind of monster would I be if I let you die?” Luke asked with a laugh as he grabbed the remote from her outstretched hand. “Take your time, get comfortable. This is your place, after all. This will give me a head-start in trying to figure out who wins before you can spoil it for me, anyway,” he teased as he settled into his seat and tossed an arm over the back of the couch.

“Ah, a man with a plan,” Charlotte nodded, her tone light as she laughed and placed her glass onto the coffee table. “I like it! I’ll be back. You can choose whatever episode you want. They’re all super good, though,” she informed him before she bounded down the short hallway and shut her bedroom door behind her.

Luke laughed at her words and Charlotte tried not to let herself dwell on the sound as she rummaged through her drawers for a pair of comfortable (but cute and appropriate) pajamas. She tried not to think about the fact that Luke, a man that she’d had a crush on for nearly four years, was sitting on her couch, waiting to watch Chopped with her. She tried not to think about the fact that they had fallen into a sort of a routine, laughing and joking with one another like friends. She tried not to think about the way that he was treating her less like a kid and more like an adult, not quite the way she always wished but close enough to make her feel like inviting him up wasn’t a complete mistake.

As she tossed a t-shirt, one of the few without holes or bleach stains, onto her bed, she tried not to think about how badly she wanted this to be more than Luke just pitying her. She tried not to think about how badly she wanted this to be him, genuinely interested in her, waiting for her after a date or a long night at work. She tried not to think about how nice it would be to come home to Luke, waiting to watch bad television with her and laugh as she ultimately spoiled every episode. She tried not to think about how badly she’d like to curl up beside him, his arms wrapped around her and his fingers gently combing through her hair as he listened to her ramble about anything and everything. She tried not to think about how nice it would be to kiss him, to feel his lips against hers and his hands on her hips.

She tried not to think about how she shouldn’t want anything with Luke, especially not a real future.

But she couldn’t help herself as the overwhelming flood of thoughts rushed to the forefront of her mind as she grabbed a pair of shorts (possibly the longest ones in her collection) and a pair of fuzzy Christmas socks, decorated with penguins because her toenail polish had long ago started to chip.

She stood there, staring at the pile of clothes on her bed, for a long moment. Every thought swirling in her brain threatened to devour her, threatened to swallow her whole, and it nearly overwhelmed her as she began to pace the small space between her bed and dresser. 

She felt everything so clearly: the guilt of knowing that if anything were to happen, Dylan would be the one to get hurt; the anxiety of not knowing how Luke felt about her, if he felt anything at all; the rational, reasonable portion of her brain telling her that wanting a man in his mid-forties was a terrible idea; the impulsive part of her, telling her to just go for it and figure it all out in the morning.

Her entire body felt like it was on fire and she wanted nothing more than to grab a bottle of wine and drink until she felt the pleasant warmth that came with it, forgetting why she was so flustered in the first place.

But as she glanced at her bedside clock, she realized that she’d been standing there for too long so she quickly stripped out of her party dress, dropping the pretty black garment onto her bed, and pulled on her pajamas. She attempted to calm her racing heart, took a few deep breaths and steadied herself by her bedroom door, before she returned to the living room and settled at the opposite end of the couch, leaving as much space between her and Luke as physically possible.

“So, did you figure out who is going to win yet?” she asked, desperately attempting to keep her tone light, as she reached for her glass. “Because I know who it is.”

Luke rolled his eyes at her comment and turned his head to glance at her. “Not yet,” he hummed before he fully took in the sight of her. His eyes raked over her form and he couldn’t help but smile at the sight. She sat there, her knees pressed against her chest, clad in a pair of pale pink shorts and a too-big t-shirt that he knew came from some sort of event. The penguin socks, a gift from her grandmother, were his favorite part and the sight of them made his smile grow wider.

“What?” Charlotte questioned, her eyebrows quirked in confusion and a slight frown on her lips. 

Luke could see her flushed cheeks, could see the mild embarrassment brush over her, so he knew that she understood what his look of fondness was for. She, like anyone else, just wanted to hear him say it. So he shook his head, a smile still on his lips, as he said, “You look so cute, Charlotte. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this dressed down. Even when you stayed over at my place with Dylan for Christmas a few years ago, you were in jeans every time I saw you.”

“I’m not cute,” Charlotte huffed, her eyebrows furrowed and a pout on her lips as she shifted in her seat and returned her glass to the table. “And, I mean, I’m sure you’ve seen me in clothes that aren’t, I don’t know, clothes? I know I wore shorts at the beach and I wore that royal blue bikini at the pool.”

“I didn’t see it,” Luke assured her with a shrug, “always jeans. Or, more recently, work clothes. Blazers and pencil skirts. Definitely never seen the fuzzy penguin socks but I can assure you that those are my favorite, by the way.”

“My nana bought them for me for Christmas last year,” Charlotte explained with a huff, “she buys me penguin stuff for Christmas every year because they’re my favorite animal. Don’t be mean about my fuzzy socks.”

Luke laughed as he watched Charlotte curl her feet beneath her in an attempt to cover the aforementioned socks before she turned her head away from him to pretend to focus on the television. He hesitated for a moment, unsure of whether he would be crossing any boundaries, before he decided to try his luck and reached out to gently tug at her ankle.

“I’m not being mean about your fuzzy socks,” he assured her with a soft smile as he waited for her to straighten her legs, “I wasn’t making fun of them. I love them, they really are cute.” When Charlotte straightened her legs, settling with her back against the arm of the couch and her feet near Luke, he gently patted her leg and said, “Penguins are my favorite animal, too.”

“Really? Everyone thinks that a penguin is such a weird favorite animal but they’re just so cute! Watching them walk is the most fun thing. And baby penguins? They’re so fluffy! I got to hug a penguin once and I cried for, like, ten minutes.”

When Charlotte blinked, a look of realization dawning on her face, she huffed a breath and mumbled, “I don’t know why I just told you that. That’s fucking embarrassing.”

“No, it’s cute,” Luke laughed as he reached out to brush the top of her sock, the material soft beneath his fingers. “That’s adorable, Charlotte. It’s nice to see you like this, soft and sweet. I always see this tough exterior, this girl with the weight of the world on her shoulders who feels like she has to be perfect to even exist so it makes me really happy to see you relaxing a little bit.”

Charlotte wasn’t sure if she should shrug off Luke’s comment or if she should share her thoughts with him. She didn’t know if he would laugh at her, though she imagined he wouldn’t, or if he would play it all off as the way that life goes. She didn’t know how being candid with him, telling him the truth about her emotions and her feelings, would make him see her but something about him had always made her want to trust him. She had always wanted to confide in him, to be treated like an equal rather than a child, so she took a leap of faith and decided to talk to him.

“My family is kind of robotic,” Charlotte explained with a shrug as she picked at a fraying string on the hem of her t-shirt. “Perfection is the only thing they really understand, you know? Emotions aren’t our thing. My brother was, like, the definition of perfect. Star athlete, top of his class, got a good degree, got married; same with my sister. Neither of them ever really dealt with being human, I guess. At least, not openly. We all just pretended that feelings weren’t really a thing because they’re messy. They require you to communicate and our family doesn’t talk to each other. We occupied the same space for a while but we never really spoke to one another.”

Luke fell silent at Charlotte’s admission. Dylan had explained to him that opening up was hard for Charlotte to do, that she wasn’t one to trust easily and that it took her months to even begin talking about the good feelings, so to hear her Charlotte tell him a little bit about her life made Luke’s heart simultaneously sink and soar. His heart broke for her as he could see what living in a world where feelings weren’t allowed had done to her. He could see how the pressure to be perfect had affected her. But he could also see how those things made her stronger, how they made her more empathetic toward others. He saw her encourage Dylan to talk about her feelings, he saw her assure Dylan that perfection was overrated; he saw her tell her friends the things she wished her parents had told her.

As she spoke to him, as she confided in him, Luke realized that she had chosen to talk to him. He knew that there were only a few people in her life that she spoke to so to be one of the lucky ones, to be one of the ones that knew even a little bit about her life, thrilled Luke. He wanted her to know that she could speak to him, that he would be there to listen, so he told her as much.

“Feelings are messy,” he confirmed, his voice quiet as he reached out to brush his fingers along her shin, “but they’re what make us human. You shouldn’t have to pretend they don’t exist. You shouldn’t be ashamed of them. Talking about them is important and occupying the same space as someone but not really speaking to them isn’t really existing at all.”

Luke hesitated for a moment, his eyes locked on Charlotte’s form, and took in the soft smile on her lips. She looked content, almost happy, and he didn’t want to ruin the moment. He wanted her to know that there was someone, even if it was just him, that would be willing to listen to her. “I know that it might be weird but I’m here any time you need someone to talk to, Charlotte. Seeing you as human, seeing you like this, it makes me happy. It lets me know that you’re willing to be human and that’s something that took me a while to learn how to do.”

Charlotte smiled at Luke, a real smile, and stared at him for a moment. She could hear the sound of Ted announcing the basket ingredients in the background, could hear the humming of the small fan in her bedroom, but nothing seemed to be as loud as the beating of her heart as she took in the soft look on Luke’s face. He smiled at her, genuine and happy, and it kept her from hesitating as she whispered, “I like letting you see me like this.”

Luke wanted to believe that he imagined the softness in her tone of voice. He wanted to believe that she didn’t mean those words in the way that he knew she did. He wanted to believe that she just saw him as a positive adult figure but as he stared at her, really and truly looked at her, he knew that that wasn’t the case.

He could see the apprehension in her eyes as she glanced at him from beneath her lashes. He could see the admiration shining in her eyes, swimming alongside a bit of fear, and he found himself having to look away as she shifted just a little closer to him on the couch. He saw the fear of rejection in her eyes and he could tell that she was anticipating him judging her or maybe letting her down gently and he knew that he should. He knew that he should tell her that all he could ever be for her was an adult who could offer the parental advice she never got but something about her, something about seeing her drop her walls let him in, sent a pang of longing surging through his chest. 

Luke felt for her something that he hadn’t in years, something that he wasn’t sure he’d ever feel again, and it sent an icy prickle of fear shooting down the base of his spine as he glanced at her out of the corner of his eye.

He knew that it was a bad idea, that they would only hurt themselves in the end, but he couldn’t bring himself to crush her heart when she so willingly placed it into his hands. So, instead of moving away from her or nudging her back to the opposite side of the couch, he shifted his hand a little higher and traced his fingers along the exposed skin of her shin.

“I’m glad,” he finally answered, his voice just as quiet as hers had been, but Charlotte could feel the overwhelming sincerity in his tone as he gently squeezed her ankle. “I want you to be comfortable around me.”

Charlotte smiled at that and nodded at him. “I am,” she assured him, “more so than I ever thought I would be.”

A comfortable silence fell over the pair as her words settled into the air. She could feel her heart pounding in her chest, anxious and unnerved as she decided to tell him what she figured he already knew. “You’ve always made me nervous,” she admitted with a small smile, her voice quiet as she watched his fingers trace nonsensical patterns across her skin. “But it’s better now. I can finally breathe around you.”

Luke, somewhat surprised at her confession, turned his head to glance at her. He knew that she’d always been nervous around him, could see that by the way she acted, but to hear her admit that he’d taken her breath away was something he hadn’t expected. Luke didn’t know how to respond, he wasn’t sure what he could tell her, so he settled for a warm smile and another gentle squeeze before they lapsed into another, more tense, silence.

Luke’s fingers left a trail of fire in their wake as they gently brushed across Charlotte’s skin. He could feel jolts of electricity, warm and pleasant, wherever his skin made contact with hers and it sent both their minds reeling. Neither of them knew how to handle the situation, neither of them knew what exactly this moment meant for them, but they both knew that they wanted to live in the moment forever.

Luke wanted to spend forever, unthinking and unbothered, sitting with Charlotte in a comfortable silence. Charlotte, too, enjoyed the atmosphere far more than she ever imagined she would. She didn’t want to break the spell that came with the silence, didn’t want to risk having to return to the awkward relationship between a young girl and her friend’s father that they’d previously shared, but she decided to take a chance as she met Luke’s eyes once more.

She stared into the blue, darker in the dim light of her apartment than she’d ever seen them, and found herself asking, “Is it bad that I really want to kiss you?”

The moment the words left her lips, Charlotte regretted them. She could feel her heart threatening to beat out of her chest as her mouth went dry. She wanted to look away from Luke, wanted to tear her legs away from his grasp and run and hide in her bedroom but she knew that she couldn’t. She couldn’t bring herself to do anything other than sit and stare at him as he battled his own mind.

“Charlotte,” he whispered, his voice quiet as he tried not to hurt her. The tone of his voice told her everything that she needed to know and she felt desperate to move out of his grasp, desperate to get away from him. He could feel her attempting to tug her legs away from him and he could see the blush creeping up her neck and covering her cheeks as she shook her head.

“No, I know,” she nodded, her voice sounding close to tears as she reached out to swat at Luke’s hands. “I know, it’s dumb. I’m sorry. I, that shouldn’t have… I’m sorry. Fuck.”

“Charlotte,” Luke repeated as he kept his hands firm on her ankles to keep her in place. “Just wait a second,” he said, his voice still quiet as he reached out to pause the television show. Without the noise of Chopped in the background, the apartment fell silent around them. 

Luke could hear Charlotte’s breathing as she tried not to cry, embarrassed tears welling in the corners of her eyes as she looked anywhere but directly at him.

“It’s not bad,” he assured her as he loosened his grip on her ankles. “I just don’t think it’s a good idea,” he told her as he watched her sink back into the cushions of her couch. “I’m an old man,” he reminded her gently, his voice soft as he shook his head. “You shouldn’t want me. You should want someone your own age, someone young.”

“But I don’t,” she answered, her voice quiet and her eyes fixed into the most wide-eyed look of sincerity that Luke had ever seen. “I do want you. I know that I shouldn’t, but I do.” Charlotte hesitated for a moment, her heart in her throat, before she continued. “I’ve wanted you since we met and I know that it’s a bad idea. I know that it’s weird and complicated but can you just pretend that you want me, too? Just for tonight?”

Luke knew that he should have gotten up and left before anything happened. He knew that he should have told her no and kept his distance. But she jumped, took a flying leap off the highest peak, and expected to him to catch her. He couldn’t let her fall, not when he felt the same way about her, so he nodded his head.

He gave in to her, just as he always imagined he would if she ever got bold enough to ask.

“I want you, too. I know that I shouldn’t, but I do.”

At Luke’s confession, Charlotte felt as if all of the air had been sucked out of the room. She found herself unable to breathe, unable to think, really, and she felt as if it was all a dream she would wake up from at any given moment. She didn’t know if he was just saying that out of pity, if he was simply playing along with her wishes and giving her what she wanted, but she decided that it would be enough for her.

If she only got one night with him, if she could only have him for a moment, she would take it.

She shifted closer to him, stopping just short of the cushion he sat on, and said, “Please, Luke, kiss me.”

Luke knew that he should refuse. At the very least, he knew that he should hesitate. Charlotte was his daughter’s best friend, a girl that he had seen grow from a shy eighteen-year-old to a confident twenty-something. She was never meant to make him feel this way.

But she stirred something in him that he never imagined she would and Luke couldn’t bring himself to refuse her.

The moment the words left her lips, he pulled Charlotte closer to him and reached out to gently cup her cheek before he pressed his lips to hers.

Luke felt any doubt that had swirled in the pit of his stomach that he shouldn’t be doing this disappear as a content sigh left her lips. He felt her relax against him, settling in as close as she could get with her knees pressing into the side of his thigh, as she reached up to tangle her fingers in his curls. At the feeling, Luke relaxed into the couch, sighing contentedly as he felt her lips move against his.

They lost themselves in one another, the world around them ceasing to exist as Charlotte focused on feeling what it was like to kiss Luke after four years of pining. As Luke brought his hands to her waist, fingers warm against her skin, Charlotte imagined that she could spend the rest of her life right there and she wouldn’t mind at all.

However, her lungs were not on the same page as her brain so she was forced to pull away from Luke and take a deep breath. As she blinked at him, her chest heaving and lips slightly swollen, Luke couldn’t help but reach out and gently brush his thumbs across her cheekbones.

He stared at her for a long moment, his heart hammering in his chest, before he whispered, “You’re so beautiful, Charlotte.”

The look in Luke’s eyes was as soft as his tone and it made Charlotte’s heart beat that much faster. She stared at him, smiling at the way his curls fell into his eyes, and shook her head at the image of him. She’d always wanted him to find her beautiful, had always wanted him to shower her with compliments and make her feel like the most important woman there was, and now that she had it, she wasn’t quite sure how to handle it.

Hearing Luke call her beautiful made her feel like crying and she couldn’t help but think the same thing about him as she moved her hands and brushed the curls out of his eyes. Her fingertips trailed over his forehead, down the bridge of his nose, and dusted across his cheekbones. She attempted to memorize the feel of his skin beneath her fingers, soft and warm and real, and Luke’s eyes fluttered shut as she treated him as he was made of glass.

He couldn’t help thinking that their roles should be reversed, that he should be the one worshiping her, but he knew that she had wanted him for so long and had come to terms with her desire in a way that he had yet to. He knew that she felt for him something that he couldn’t understand, a love that he couldn’t fathom, so he resigned himself to let her take the reigns and take what she needed from their encounter.

As her fingers brushed his skin, a featherlight caress against his heated cheeks, Luke almost forgot that he had spoken until Charlotte returned his earlier sentiment with a whispered compliment of, “You are, too, Luke. You’re so beautiful.”

Luke didn’t understand how she could believe that. He didn’t understand how someone like her, young and beautiful and well on her way to making something spectacular out of her life, could think of him in that light but the reverence in her tone made him want to believe her. He wanted to believe that she saw him in that light, as someone who was worth her time, so he let himself fall into the fantasy.

“You make my heart feel like it’s going to beat out of my chest,” she confessed, her voice shaking as her fingers ran along his jawline and down the column of his throat to dip beneath the collar of his button-down. She rested them over his heart, her palm flat against his chest, and Luke opened his eyes to look at her once more.

He remembered that feeling, one he’d only gotten once before a long time ago, and he’s reminded of how confusing an onslaught of new feelings can be. He wanted to tell her that feeling everything at once, so intensely and so vividly, was simultaneously one of the best and worst feelings in the world but he imagined that that would only serve to remind her just how old he was. He didn’t want to remind her that he had so much more life experience than her, that he understood where she was coming from because he had already been there, so he didn’t.

Instead, Luke returned his hands to cup her cheeks and whispered, “Could I kiss you again?”

Charlotte couldn’t bring herself to respond verbally. Instead, she shifted so that she was a little more comfortable, tucked into his side, and tilted her head to return her lips to his.

The second kiss that they shared felt far different than the first, Charlotte imagined, as Luke’s hands moved from her cheeks. She felt a shiver run down her spine as Luke’s hands brushed the heated skin of her arms, his fingers a barely there presence as he made his way to her hips. Though she expected it, the gentle touch encompassed her and drove all thoughts of Luke out of her mind as she shifted to place a knee on either side of Luke’s thighs without breaking the kiss.

Luke’s grip on her thighs tightened as Charlotte shifted on his lap to get more comfortable. She could feel him hardening in the black pants that hugged his thighs just the way she liked and the idea that this could go beyond a makeout session on her couch had her returning her hands to Luke’s golden curls and tugging at the strands.

As Charlotte ran her fingers through his hair, Luke’s hands dipped beneath the hem of her t-shirt. His thumbs brushed her hipbones and he allowed a quiet groan to pass his lips as she shifted against him. He knew what she wanted, could feel the desire rolling off of her in waves as she crowded ever closer to him and tugged at his curls. He knew that her mind was clouding with lust and, ordinarily, Luke would take that to mean that he was doing his job. However, as he remembered exactly who was sitting on his lap, Luke gathered his wits and broke the kiss.

“Charlotte, honey,” he breathed, his voice quiet as he pulled away from her just enough to see her face, “we shouldn’t be doing this.”

Charlotte, with her flushed cheeks and kiss-swollen lips, opened her eyes and Luke could see the hazy confusion in them. He could see the sting of rejection flicker in her eyes before she shook her head.

“If you really don’t want me,” she whispered, her voice sounding just as broken as she felt, “then that’s fine. It hurts, yeah, but that’s okay. But if you’re trying to protect me or if you’re worried that I’m making a stupid decision and that I haven’t thought about it, then don’t. I know what I want, Luke, and what I want is you.”

Luke stared at her and she felt as if his eyes were piercing her soul as she met his gaze head-on. He wanted her, he really did, but he didn’t want her to wake up and regret the night they shared. He didn’t want to wake up and regret the night they shared. He wanted this to be the moment that she had dreamt of and, as he stared at her, he realized that anything he would agree to give her was exactly what she wanted.

“Are you sure about this, pretty girl?” he asked, his voice quiet as he gently brushed his thumbs across her heated skin once more. “Are you really sure you want me?”

Charlotte stared at him and Luke was amazed to find that no hesitation flickered across her face at all. She looked confident, certain, and Luke could see just how strongly she felt as she nodded her head.

“I’m so sure,” she whispered, her eyes never leaving his. She could see the concern written clearly on his face and she didn’t hesitate to move her hands from his hair to cup his cheeks. “I’m an adult, Luke,” she reminded him gently, her tone softer than before as she brushed her thumbs along his cheekbones. “I want you. Do you want me, too?”

Luke searched her eyes for any hint of doubt. In them, he saw only certainty clouded by a prominent lust and that was enough to make him nod. He knew that he shouldn’t, knew that he should deny wanting her and leave her apartment before he could do something he imagined they’d both regret, but he couldn’t help himself. Before he really thought about it, before he could control himself, he relented to her.

“I do,” he nodded, his voice just as quiet as hers had been. “I want you,” he breathed before he tapped her thigh with the tips of his fingers, “but I don’t want to do this on your couch.”

If things had been different, if the situation wasn’t as intensely emotional as he knew it was, Luke would have laughed at Charlotte’s eagerness to climb off of his lap and reach out for his hand. He would have laughed at the curses that fell from her lips as she bumped her knee on the coffee table or the way she slid against the tile floor as she lead him down the hall to her bedroom. However, the situation didn’t call for that and laughing at Charlotte’s endearing clumsiness was the farthest thing from Luke’s mind as he followed her into her bedroom, decorated in blacks and reds and far more sensual than he had ever imagined it to be.

The lingering doubt they both felt, the pricks of fear and shadows of anxiety, melted away as the pair of them stepped through the doorway. It seemed as if they both left their inhibitions in her living room as Luke’s hands returned to Charlotte’s body the moment she closed her bedroom door.

Luke pulled her forward, flush against him, before he reconnected their lips in a blistering kiss that was a mess of teeth and tongue, of passion and lust. His hands began to wander, drifting across her skin as if she was made of glass, and Charlotte could feel him brush the swell of her ass as she reached up to return her fingers to his hair.

The pair of them stood in the doorway of her bedroom, hands roaming over clothes and lips brushing, for what could have been hours. Despite the underlying anxiety, the electric fear they both felt, neither of them hurried. They both wanted to savor the moment, enjoy the fantasy and indulge themselves, and Charlotte was half-convinced that it was all a dream. She decided that she was bound to wake up at any moment and she wanted to have the most pleasant dream she could because she didn’t know if she’d ever get to experience it again.

Luke decided to let Charlotte make the first move. He wanted whatever happened to be on her terms and when he felt her fingers brush the buttons of his shirt, he whispered, “If you want to take it off, you can. If not, I’ll keep it on. It’s up to you, pretty girl.”

Charlotte hesitated for a moment, her fingers tracing the dark buttons of his shirt and her questioning thoughts returning full force as she stared at his chest. She wanted him, wanted this, more than anything so she elected to ignore anything that didn’t involve undressing Luke and popped the first button.

As Charlotte worked diligently to unbutton the remaining buttons of Luke’s shirt, his hands dipped beneath her t-shirt to splay across her ribcage. The warmth of his palms made her shudder and he smiled against her lips as he carefully brushed her heated skin. His fingertips moved to trace the band of her bra, lightly brushing the patterns of the lace, and she shivered at the feeling of his fingers tickling her skin. The cool metal of his rings bit at her skin, the contrast almost painful, but the moment his hands moved away from her, she found herself desperately searching for his touch once more.

Luke smiled at the quiet whine that escaped her lips and moved his hands to cup her breasts through the fabric of her bra. He squeezed, his touch gentle, and Charlotte arched into him as she gripped the material of his button-down between her fingers.

Emboldened by the feeling of his hands on her breasts, Charlotte decided to encourage him. She pressed herself closer to him, her skin feeling as if it was on fire with every breath she took, and whispered, “They feel better without a bra.”

In a style that Charlotte had come to identify as uniquely Luke, he smiled. His tongue pressed against his teeth, grin bright and amused, as he gently squeezed once more. He stared down at her, his eyes raking over her slightly disheveled form, before he said, “They feel pretty damn good with a bra.”

Charlotte playfully rolled her eyes as she pulled away from Luke and nudged the button down off his shoulders. He glanced at her, seeking permission, and tugged the t-shirt up and over her head following a small nod. The moment her shirt joined his on the floor, his breath caught at the sight of her standing before him.

Luke hadn’t been lying when he said he’d never really seen Charlotte in anything less than a pair of jeans or maybe a nice dress for work. However, as he stared at her, he felt as if he couldn’t tear his eyes away.

The black lace of her bra proved a stark contrast against her skin. The intricate patterns caught his eye and held it as he worked to memorize the patterns of the pretty piece that he didn’t know if he’d ever see again. “Fuck,” he breathed as he lifted his eyes from her chest to her face, “you’re so beautiful.”

When Charlotte dipped her head to hide her face, her cheeks burning at Luke’s whispered compliment, he reached out and placed two fingers beneath her chin to gently tilt her head up. “I mean it,” he assured her quietly, “you are so beautiful, Charlotte.” Luke hesitated, his voice catching in his throat, as he met her eyes. He had so much more that he wanted to say.

He wanted to sing her praises, to lavish her in compliments and shower her with sweet words. He wanted to tell her that she was the most beautiful he had ever seen and that it wasn’t because of her physical beauty. Yes, she was stunning to look at, but Luke knew her better than that. He knew her well enough to know that the little things, the endearing little quirks that can only be seen after truly getting to know someone, were the ones that made her as beautiful as she was but he couldn’t seem to get the words to leave his lips.

They felt too intimate, too serious, and Luke didn’t know if that was what Charlotte wanted from this encounter. Hell, he didn’t know if that was what he wanted from this encounter.

So, instead of speaking the words that swirled in his mind, Luke whispered, “If you’ll let me, I’d love to show you how beautiful I find you.” 

Unable to do more, Charlotte nodded at Luke’s request and returned her hands to his shoulders as he dipped his head to press a searing kiss to the column of her throat. He began walking her backward, his lips never leaving her skin, and only stopped when the back of her legs hit the side of her mattress. 

“Could you take off your bra for me, pretty girl?” he asked as he glanced down at her, his eyes dark and clouded with lust. “And do you mind if I take these?”

Charlotte swore that she could feel her heart stop as Luke hooked his thumbs in the waistband of her shorts. When she gave a small nod, her entire body alight with a giddy nervousness that she’d never felt before, Luke tugged the article of clothing down her legs and settled into place in front of her.

Luke nudged her back toward the bed and gestured for her to take a seat on the edge of her bed. Her bra joined the pile of clothes on her floor and she felt certain that Luke could see her arousal as he gently nudged her thighs apart to step between them.

Contrary to what she had experienced with past partners, Luke took his time. He pressed his lips to her jaw, trailed kisses down the column of her throat, brushed his lips across her collarbones, nipped at her chest. He only paused when he reached her breasts to glance up at her from beneath his lashes. With a nod of approval from Charlotte, Luke allowed his fingers to gently pinch and tug at one nipple while his mouth enveloped the other. His tongue swirled around the hardening bud, warm and enough to leave her thoughtless and floating as he worked.

Luke kept his eyes on her face as he gave her breasts the same treatment. He watched the way her eyes fluttered shut, how her lips parted and her cheeks tinted pink. He watched her tongue dart out to wet her bottom lip, watched her nose scrunch when she tried to keep the quiet moan from slipping past her lips, and it made him dizzy with want. He had never imagined himself here, never imagined himself in this situation with her, but to watch her, to see her react from this alone, made him desire nothing more strongly than to see this sight again and again.

Luke quieted the part of his brain that told him he was making a mistake as he pressed kisses to the heated skin of her stomach. He placed featherlight pecks, barely there brushes of his lips, against her skin and stopped just above the waistband of her panties to settle onto his knees before her. His hands gripped her thighs, fingers gentle against her skin, as he breathed, “Lie back, pretty girl,” against her skin. He lifted his eyes to look at her, the beautiful blue shining even in the dim light, and Charlotte swore she wouldn’t make it through the night if he kept looking at her like that.

Luke moved slowly, avoiding the area that she truly wanted him to touch the most, as he nudged her thighs farther apart. He placed kisses along her inner thighs, nipping and sucking at the skin and leaving small red marks in his wake as he moved as close to the apex as he could without actually touching her. Charlotte knew that he was trying to work her into a frenzy, trying to build it up just to break her down, but she realized as he pressed a kiss to her folds through the thin material of her panties that this wasn’t simply intended to tease. This was meant to be foreplay, more than any experience she’d ever had, and she couldn’t help thinking that she wouldn’t be able to handle an entire night of it.

However, the thought of not being able to survive Luke’s foreplay quickly left her mind as he tugged the lace material down her legs and tossed them with the growing pile on the floor. She decided that she’d gladly take an entire night of this, of whatever Luke wanted to give her, as she felt his tongue brush her folds. He was in no hurry, his movements almost lazy as he explored her with his hands on her thighs to keep her spread open for him.

He savored her, spent as much time as he deemed necessary between her thighs, with just his mouth for so long that Charlotte knew it wasn’t intended to make her orgasm. Instead, it was meant to be a starting point, a place for him to begin, and she found herself happy that he began there as he shifted so his shoulder pressed against her thigh to free one of his hands. His fingers brushed her entrance, one carefully slipping into her heat and giving her a moment to adjust before a second joined and he began working her open.

Charlotte didn’t think she’d ever felt anything this clearly. She could feel every drag of Luke’s fingers, could feel every brush of his skin against hers. She could feel his lips wrapped around her clit, his fingers repeatedly tapping at the small spot that had her seeing stars, and she almost felt embarrassed at how quickly the coil of her orgasm built in the pit of her stomach. However, Luke took the tangling of her fingers in his hair in stride and shifted just enough to breathe, “Cum for me, pretty girl. Let me see how beautiful you look when you cum,” before he returned his lips to her heated skin and worked his fingers just a bit faster.

It was as if Luke’s words were magic. Charlotte could feel herself falling over the edge far quicker than she ever had before but she couldn’t bring herself to care as she lost herself in the aftershocks of her orgasm. Luke’s fingers remained gentle against her thighs as he brushed her heated skin and she didn’t know what else to do other than to reach out and intertwine her fingers with his.

Luke remained on his knees for a moment, staring at her and watching her chest rise and fall rapidly as she struggled to regain her breath, before he stood and whispered, “So beautiful like this.” His words were quiet and Charlotte didn’t know if she was supposed to hear them so she said nothing. She simply watched as he leaned over her, one hand pressed to the mattress beside her head, and closed her eyes when he pressed a kiss to her lips.

Charlotte felt warm, her entire body felt like it was floating and her head felt pleasantly muddled as she laid on her bed. She wasn’t sure how much time passed with Luke pressing gentle kisses to her mouth, to her jaw, to her cheeks, but time itself seemed to stand still as she whispered, “Want you,” against his mouth. “Need you, Lu, please.”

Luke observed the blissed out look on her face, the way her eyelashes fluttered against her cheek and her lips looked so beautiful and kiss-swollen. A smile quirked his lips as he moved his hand to brush stray pieces of hair from her face and took a moment to breathe her in before he pressed a final, gentle kiss to her lips. “You’ve got me, pretty girl,” he promised her as she reached out to tug at his belt. “Can you move up for me?”

She pushed herself up on shaking arms and moved to the head of her bed as she watched Luke shove the black pants she’d found so enticing earlier in the night, what felt like decades ago, down his legs. His underwear, a pair of burgundy briefs that contrasted beautifully with his skin, followed shortly after she Charlotte stared unabashedly as he kicked them off and let them join the pile of clothes decorating her floor. She watched, her eyes wide and lust-blown, as he climbed onto her bed and moved to hover above her. The silver chain around his neck was sandwiched between and she found the metal to be a cool contrast to the warmth of Luke’s chest pressed against hers as he pressed another kiss to her lips.

“Do you have any condoms, pretty girl?”

“Nightstand,” she whispered, still slightly dazed from both her orgasm and the realization that a fantasy she’d held for so long is on its way to becoming a reality.

Luke nodded, reaching out for the foil packet from a box tucked in the very back corner of her nightstand, and glanced away from her to roll the latex onto his cock. He situated himself before he paused, his warm eyes meeting hers, and asked, “Are you sure about this? If you have any doubts, please tell me. We’ll stop, no questions asked, no hard feelings.”

“I’m so sure, Luke,” Charlotte nodded and Luke noted that she looked just as certain as she sounded. She reached out for him, her arms wrapping around his neck, and tangled her fingers in his hair as she leaned up to press another kiss to his lips. “I really do want this. Please.”

Luke nodded at her assurance and placed a hand on her hip as the other gripped the base of his cock. His lips brushed hers, a barely there presence, as he sank into her heat. She could tell that the torturously slow pace that he’d set would continue through the night as he took his time fully settling into her. By the time he was sheathed to the hilt, she was already on edge again. He paused, giving her a moment to adjust, a moment to process that this was reality, before she clenched around him and he couldn’t help himself.

He moved his free hand to her center, his fingers brushing her clit as he fucked into her. His pace was slow, deep, and she could feel every drag of his cock inside of her. She felt as if she couldn’t breathe, her lungs constricting in her chest, and it was maddening. She couldn’t control her volume, her moans spilling freely past her lips as any concern for her neighbors dissipated, as Luke’s eyes met hers.

She wanted the moment to last forever. She wanted the moment on a loop in her memory, the feeling of Luke’s body pressed to hers engrained in her mind forever, but her orgasm felt as if it was barreling toward her and there was nothing for her to do but cling to Luke’s shoulders and give herself to him as he snapped his hips just right. He buried himself inside of her and she flew over the edge for the second time, clenching around him so tightly that all Luke could do was give her a moment to ride it out.

He moved to pull out, to finish himself off with his hand, but she gripped his wrist and shook her head. “I’m okay,” she assured him, her breathing ragged and her eyes heavy, “you can keep going.”

He looked like he wanted to argue, like he thought better of it and knew he should let her rest, but she clenched around him and his resolve crumbled into dust beneath his fingers. 

Charlotte was so sensitive. Every nerve ending in her body felt as if it was on fire but she wouldn’t have traded the feeling of Luke chasing his orgasm for anything. His breath against her neck, his heated skin pressed against hers, his hand intertwined with her own, it all felt overwhelming in the best possible way. And when he grunted, breathed her name in such a reverent tone that she knew she wasn’t meant to hear, Charlotte couldn’t help the choked moan that spilled past her lips.

Luke was gentle as he pulled out, both of them groaning at the loss. He tied the condom, tossed it into the small trashcan in her bathroom, and settled beneath the covers beside her. He hesitated for a moment, unsure of whether he should wrap his arms around her, but when she shifted closer to him, he decided that there was no more harm to be done. The worst had already happened so he pulled her tight to his chest, pressed a kiss to her forehead, and tugged the blankets over the pair of them as he felt his eyes growing heavy.

He wanted to talk to her, to ask her how she felt, but her own eyes fluttered shut and Luke took that as a sign that conversation was to be avoided. But while he fell asleep fairly quickly, Charlotte’s mind raced with the thoughts she’d pushed aside the moment Luke laid a hand on her. 

She could feel her heart begin to beat wildly in her chest, her anxiety pooling in the pit of her stomach, as she wondered if this encounter meant nearly as much to Luke as it did to her. She wondered, briefly, if this would ever happen again. She wondered if anything more than a few orgasms and a chest full of guilt would come from this.

But as she wondered these things, as she pondered the future that remained wholly uncertain, she thought of Dylan. She thought of her best friend, the one who had given her everything and asked for so little in return. She thought of the girl who had been her rock in her hardest times, the one who stayed up with her and made coffee to keep her awake as she studied for exams. She thought of the girl who kept her sane, who kept her grounded.

She thought of the girl she had just betrayed.

Charlotte’s stomach turned as she thought of Dylan and of how this would make her feel. No matter how Charlotte herself felt, no matter how Luke felt; Charlotte couldn’t shake the pure terror that filled her veins at the thought of Dylan finding out. She had done something unforgivable, something that would ruin the best friendship she had ever had, and she knew that if this happened again, it would only make matters worse.

As Luke slept beside her, his chin resting on her forehead and his arms wrapped tightly around her, Charlotte listened to the steady beat of his heart. She wondered, idly, as he hands raked through his golden curls, if any of this was worth it. She wondered if she would still feel as strongly for him when the morning light entered her bedroom window or if, along with the morning light, her senses would return and they would both realize that they’d made a terrible mistake.

_______________________________________________________________________

Author’s Note: Thoughts? Feelings? Questions? This was fun. I forgot how much I love Morning Fears.