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jodilin65 · 32 years ago

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MONDAY, AUGUST 31, 1992 I’m on my patio which is very well-shaded. We need a massive thunder and lightning storm.

I went down to check the mail but there was nothing. I hear if any day he’s late, it’s Mondays. I’ll go check again in an hour.

I called for my test results and it still shows that I have a bacterial infection. Now I have to use a cream that’s been called in. That’s bad enough that I always have one fucking infection after another. What’s a whole lot worse is that in two months I must have another pap smear! No way. Those things are too painful. The nurse said to see if I can bring someone with me. Yeah, right. Get real. Like anyone cares?

I also called the phone company and found out two new things today. One is that I can get a letter of credit from CT to waive the $170 deposit. Two is I don’t have to pay $5 a month for long-distance blocks.

I will go talk to Tara later about her taking me to Hatcher St. with the form I had my doctor fill out. After I show them a rent receipt, proof of income and all that crap, they send the form to someone else. They’re the ones who either approve it or deny it. I have a feeling this is gonna take forever and I’ll be waiting there for 3 hours just like at the food stamp office. Also, one worker says you need to make an appointment, another says they don’t make appointments. That’s typical, huh?

I hope Andy can take me to Goot’s pharmacy. I’m so glad I was switched from Alupent to Proventil. I like it so much better cuz I get less of a pounding and racing heartbeat and I don’t have to use it as often. My asthma’s improved so much and today was the first day in years I did not have to take my Proventil when I woke up! I always used to have to take the Alupent or Proventil when I’d first wake up, but today’s the first day in years where I didn’t have to! I only took my Theodur and the Azmacort which are preventions, not meant to be taken whenever you feel like it. The Alupent and Proventil are the ones you take as needed to wipe out the wheezing instantly unless it’s so bad that you must go to the ER.

I think I will go and check the mail now, then go for a swim. I hope I’ve got a letter from Kim or somebody.

Later…

As usual, I didn’t get any mail at all. I think UPS will come tomorrow, rather than today.

I’ve spoken to Tara and Tonya a few times and we’ve had some really good talks. Tara said she appreciates having a woman around to talk to.

I’m gonna bring them my manicuring books and also an extra pair of scissors they mentioned needing. Then I’ll see when it’s convenient for Tara to take me to Hatcher St. I’m gonna have to wait till around the 15th, though. That’s when I can get a current rent receipt.

In the meantime, you know my rule. I’ve made the first move, now let them come to me. I sort of want to quit while I’m ahead and not see them too often to avoid problems just like I don’t see Kara every day. But Kara is a good friend and I do like her.

I’m gonna see if Andy wants to pay for us to go see the Twin Peaks movie, Fire Walk With Me. I’ll pay him back my share in food stamps if he wants.

The other day was so funny when Stephanie saw me coming to the pool with Tara and Tonya. She grinned and winked at me. I told Tara and Tonya that she was gay too and that I think she thinks we’re together. They laughed and thought that was funny. I told Stephanie alone, that they’re really nice and that they’re roommates who just moved in. I told her I doubted anything would happen, but I’d keep her posted.

That was the day I played volleyball in the pool with Sue, Steve, Robert, his cousin and a few others. It was lots of fun and Kara, Tara and Tonya were shocked at how many people I know around here.

Andy and Steph were talking about Tara and Tonya and Andy says Steph really likes me as a friend. That’s cool. I like her too.

A few days ago, due to Kara’s helping me, I gave her some cigarettes and made her, Ashley and myself a hot dog. We had lots of fun swimming, too. I put on my nose clips that time so I could go underwater and use both hands to do somersaults and handstands. Whenever I’d do a backflip, my hair would be in my face. It was really goofy looking and the look on Ashley’s face was so funny. I’m gonna go grab my nose clips and see if they’re home and want to go swimming now.

Later…

I went over to Kara’s and we all went swimming. You can tell Ashley’s getting to know me and recognizes me. Hopefully, she won’t be so fussy tomorrow when I babysit her. Kara’s mom got her a playpen for $5 at a yard sale. She’s gonna bring it over tomorrow which is great. That way I won’t have to be chasing her all over.

I now see Fay heading towards the other pool.

Last night, there was a knock on my door and it was Ellie. She goes, “Grab a cough of cuppee and…”

I cut her off saying I was busy and then I shut my door on her.

Today’s the kids’ first day back to school. Man, was this always a depressing day for me! Any miserable times as an adult sure beats my childhood. What a miserable kid I was. I hated school, and when I wasn’t in school I’d have to deal with my mom. Or Brattleboro and Valleyhead.

My nieces start school this Wednesday. Lisa’s excited, so thank God at least she enjoys school.

Tammy told me they’d get a letter out to me as soon as they get situated. I’ve got to get a letter out to Tammy and mom and dad. I have Sarah’s b-day card ready. I can’t remember if she’s gonna be 2 or 3. Becky’s 5 and Lisa’s 9.

I can’t wait till my family can come see me. I really do miss all of them and I’m dying to show off where I live and how happy I am.

Oh, guess what happened yesterday? When I went over to see Andy he asked, “Have you any idea why the Norwich police dept. would call at 5:11 in the morning?”

At first, I couldn’t think of any reason, then I remembered my letter to Debbie. The way I see it, it’s my constitutional right, there was nothing threatening or sexual. Just very very strange, but I’ll write no more letters to her. I told Andy to just ignore the call and that if he got a call and he didn’t recognize the voice and they asked for me, to say there’s no Jodi there. I mean, what the hell are they gonna do about a letter that makes no sense with a few pieces of hair in it?

Going for another swim now!

Later…

I am out on my patio now and I have been in such a good mood. Since I moved here I have had so many happy days despite the money problems. I wish I moved here a long time ago. I have had more happy days since June 9th than I’ve had in years. After being miserable for so long, I really appreciate being so happy now. It feels great. It also feels great to have my asthma be so much better.

Tomorrow marks two special anniversaries for me. One is that 7 years ago I began losing 40 pounds. Two is that it’s been 3 years with no Navane. I knew as well as other supportive and understanding people that I didn’t need any drugs. I needed a life with good people who were willing to deal with me, let me be myself and be there for me during my good and not-so-good times. No drug can replace what I have now, even though I’d still like to be a singer.

When I last went to the pool, Andy came in for a swim and we had a nice talk. We admired the beauty around us and compared it to back east. Here everything’s so new, cheap and beautiful. Back east everything’s old, dumpy and expensive.

There’s been an awesome breeze out and we’re due for a storm, I hear.

Andy and I made burgers and hotdogs on the grill. It took forever to get it lit cuz it was so windy. We also made collect calls from the payphone. He’s coming over in an hour or so and we’re gonna play cards.

I’m getting tired now, so if we do get a storm and he wants to go drive on top of the mountain, I don’t think I’ll go. I told him I would, but now I really am starting to tire down. I got up at 7:30.

I think I’ll go to the Jacuzzi now and later I’ll write about Tara. I really really like her!

Later…

It’s dark now and I’m on my patio. But I have my light on just inside my sliding glass door so I have plenty of light.

I went into the Jacuzzi a little while ago, then went to see Tara, but there was no answer.

Andy may have fallen asleep by now as he’s been up so long. I’m getting tired myself now so I’ll finish tomorrow.

Later…

I hope I get my package tomorrow!

Tara’s gonna take me to Goot’s, then I gotta be back by 3:00 at least so I can babysit.

Even though Kara’s moving two minutes away, I wish she wasn’t.

I met another girl who lives above Kara who’s also named Kara, but she prefers to use Linda which is her middle name. I’ve seen her boyfriend around several times as well as her.

I saw Sue today, too. Also, Stacey. Not Kara’s sister, but the other one who I couldn’t figure out why she left me hanging. Her son was in the hospital with pneumonia for 4 days and she hasn’t gone out cuz he’s still not quite over it. I told her to let me know if she needs me.

Andy was so funny at the pool earlier when we were cooking and on the pay phone. I had my suit on under my skirt which I took off to go for a swim. He put it on and started dancing around. Two people I didn’t know, along with Tara and Kara were cracking up. Then Paula was on her way around the corner showing apartments to people when I yelled out to him that she was coming. He quickly slipped it off, thanking me for the warning. Then says, “And these are the people that live here.” We were laughing our asses off, then I went and had a nice talk with Tara. I really do like her and I’m glad we met, but I’ll write all about her another time.

Current Location: Arizona

SUNDAY, AUGUST 30, 1992 Well, now I have to wait another month or so before I can lie out in the sun. I have this hideous sun poisoning. It’s an itchy rash all over that looks like lots of reddish zits. What a bummer, huh? Just when I’m beginning to really tan. I spoke to Dad earlier and he said to wear a T-shirt till it cools down.

He also said he called SS and for me to tell them to take a little at a time. I have 30 days to talk to them or ask for another waiver form, even though that’ll do no good. He said that September’s check will be the full $426 as they can’t touch it till they send me a letter stating how much they’re gonna take per month. The whole thing is so stupid. They’re doing this cuz I didn’t tell them sooner that I’d be moving.

All states are different as far as what they pay. New York and Massachusetts are the highest. Connecticut’s lower and Arizona’s nothing as far as SSI goes.

There’s a special edition of Unsolved Mysteries coming on, so I want to get a bite to eat. During commercials, I’ll write.

SATURDAY, AUGUST 29, 1992 I just polished my toenails and I’m writing while they dry.

Mark next door is occasionally fun to be around, but overall I’ve come to hate him. His attitude stinks and he hates the whole world. All he can do is rank on my friends, talk about sex and pressure me about getting stoned with him. So, yesterday when he knocked on my door to go swimming, I said I’d go and decided to turn the tables around. I reminded him of how he said he likes aggressive women who dish back to him what he dishes out. After all, I do give what I get. So, I started pressuring him into things I know he’s not into and ranking on all his friends. He said he no longer has any friends cuz they moved. I really gave it to him good at the pool. It was fun for both of us and when I said something that wasn’t too funny in his opinion, he pretended to laugh anyway.

Later…

I didn’t see Fay or Andy yesterday but Kara left a note on my door. They’re moving next Tuesday and I’m gonna babysit Ashley. Not that I’m looking forward to it, but it’s helping a friend while earning a little money.

Robert has his cousin visiting from Santa Fe. Luckily I woke up at 6:00 as at 8:00 he was running around up there to get the place cleaned up. It would’ve woken me up if I were sleeping and I’d have been pissed. His cousin’s getting up tomorrow at 6:00 and he says he’s a gorilla. I told him he better not be or I’ll be a gorilla. I have a right to my schedule, too.

I had a great time yesterday with Tara and Tonya. So far they’re super nice for such good-looking girls. We talked about all kinds of things and they’re definitely very open-minded and accepting of me.

Tara’s an awesome artist! She showed me an awesome airbrush painting she did and Tonya’s done some modeling. She showed me portfolios and several pictures and they were beautiful.

Their apartment is gorgeous. They have a 2-bedroom and there are also 2 bathrooms. One bathroom is just like mine and the bedroom’s the same size as mine. That’s the one Tonya has.

Tara’s room is huge and her bathroom’s big, too. She has a sliding glass door off of her bedroom that goes out to the patio along with the sliding glass door off the living room.

They each have their own car so they told me to let them know if I’ve got to go anywhere.

I showed them my place and my drawings, too. Tara’s drawings make mine look sick, though. I also showed them all the pictures Andy took. You know, the ones my mom flipped out about.

I had begun to tell them stuff about themselves I shouldn’t know. I thought, oops! I was afraid I’d freak them out, so I explained it to them. They thought it was so neat. They said they always wanted to meet someone like that and that they wish they could do that.

Well, there’s so much more to write, but I need to lie down for a little bit.

FRIDAY, AUGUST 28, 1992 I got up at around 3 AM and now I am eagerly waiting for the pool to open. It won’t be open till 8:00, said maintenance. I have my sliding door open and my windows. My ceiling fan’s on.

Every morning the maintenance guys go around the grounds collecting garbage with these tong-like things. They do various other stuff too, like repairs in apartments, painting, cleaning the grills and taking care of the pools and the grounds. Monday mornings suck. That’s when they mow the lawns.

While I was asleep, Kara left a note on my door. She wants to know if I’ll babysit Ashley next Tuesday. God knows I don’t want to, but I will to help my friend and earn a little money.

It amazes me that I never heard her knock.

Fay came over with a peace offering. A little table for my patio. We had a good talk and I told her how I felt. She is a nice person, she’s funny, and she’s helped me and cheered me up, but if there are any more lies, I’ll end it with her permanently with no peace offerings. She promised me that if she has anything to say about me, she’ll come say it to me.

I haven’t really seen Ellie and I don’t miss her. I think I’ll only be able to handle her if I see her very occasionally.

I got more color yesterday at the pool but I have this obnoxious itchy heat rash.

I didn’t see Sue at the pool, the girl I just met who works for the children’s protective services. Instead, I saw Angel, Brian, Bonnie, Stephanie and Tara.

At 11:00 I had gone to Tara’s to tell her the truth, but there was no answer. She said maybe she was in the shower as she’s home all day unless she’s got errands.

Fay gave me good advice. She said to go over, be honest, tell them the truth and what happened with Rosemarie. Fay said to tell them to make up their minds and keep them made up. Don’t go jerking me from one extreme to another and contradict themselves as Rosemarie did.

So, while I was using the grill I saw Tara at the pool. I told her I must be honest with her up front and she’s to take it or leave it. When I told her she laughed, saying she thought I was gonna tell her some big horrible thing, like I killed someone. She said her aunt’s gay and she and Tonya both had gay friends back in Colorado.

I told her I’d stop by her place sometime today. I’ll go see Kara also.

When Robert came down to go to school, he said to let him know if I find a black wallet. I asked if it was finder’s keeper. He said there was no money in it. Only his driver’s license. Oh well.

I’m waiting for Mark to come out to go to school. I’m gonna pounce all over him. I’ll write about that one later. Now I’ve got to have a bite to eat while I’m waiting for Mark and waiting for the pool to open. I need a good swim to wake me up.

THURSDAY, AUGUST 27, 1992 Yesterday my food stamps came! I was so psyched and I literally cried tears of relief. Angel’s husband Brian took me to the store cuz Andy was asleep at the time. Once I finished shopping and was in the checkout line, I saw Andy at the courtesy desk. He ran over to the thrift store, then brought me back. It feels so great to finally have a full refrigerator and full cabinets. I will now eat quite well.

Andy and I spoke yesterday at his place. He was very upset with the people who are supposed to fix his car.

He also said several things Fay and Ellie said that were bullshit. I’m so sick of Ellie’s delusions and moods. Her mood changes every 5 minutes and the woman is a nut.

Also, I’ve been catching Fay in more and more lies that are just adding up too much. I also know she was the one who lied to Rosemarie and Rick and got them to come over here. She said that if she did, it was her business. Yeah, well they really made it my business too, though, in the end, she did me a favor.

Andy told me other lies that he said he knew were lies. He also says he thinks Fay’s jealous cuz I’m tiny and she’s a 270-pound bitch. Also, she said she was gonna dump me (to Andy) and Andy feels she doesn’t want me to have any friends. She won on that one, cuz I’m not gonna have many friends.

I went over to her place and told her I’ll dump her and do the job for her. I told her how I feel and that she and Ellie cannot have a 24-hour-a-day friendship with me. They said they understood my schedule’s crazy, but naturally, they contradicted themselves on that one.

I’m tired of both their games and attitudes and I told them both I no longer want anything to do with either of them.

Andy says all this is still worth meeting people. What, does he want to get hurt? And see others get stepped on? I’m sorry, but I have self-respect and if I allowed myself “friends” like them I wouldn’t be a true friend to myself. Hey, that’s what happens when you lie. You do lose friends. True friends don’t do the things they’ve done.

I’ll write more later. I need a smoke now.

Later…

I got up last night at 2 AM. I’d have preferred to sleep till 4:00 or 5:00, but at least I have food and cigarettes.

I washed my hair and I’m gonna make sure I don’t get it in the pool today. When I go tanning I’ll put it up. I got some good color yesterday and I want to get more today. The only obnoxious problem is that I get a heat rash. Heat rash and break out with lots of little itchy bumps that look like thousands of zits. Mainly on my chest, stomach, thighs, and a little on my shoulders.

So far in the 3 months I’ve been here, or almost 3 months, I’ve been stabbed in the back and dumped by two people, and I dumped one liar and 1 nut job. Real good, huh?

Every time I want to be left alone and ignored, there’s somebody else there. Do I have a sign on me that says: Be my friend and real nice at first, then dump me or give me a good reason to dump you?

I was in the pool on my raft when some girl called out hi to me as if she knew me. She spoke more than I did and we discussed many things. Mainly about Arizona, other places and people. She told me she studied a lot about human behavior and when she mentioned her very good job as a children’s protective worker and all about the school, it scared me. Her job’s no match for one on disability and once again, just cuz I know I’m not stupid and I know myself, am happy with who and how I am, know my feelings, and I don’t need her coming down on me. She didn’t, though my head was saying not to talk to her. My heart was saying don’t prejudge her by others, wait till she does something. I told her this up front too, and that I’ve had a lot of problems with some of the people there.

Well, she’s OK as a pool buddy. Then again, I wonder if pool buddies are a cool idea. When they fuck me over, I’m gonna want to go to the pool and I’d appreciate not having to see them or know they’re there. Makes me wanna puke when I see Donna or Rosemarie and now Fay and Ellie.

Tonya wasn’t at the pool but Tara was. She wrote down her number which I never asked for. There are 3 things I could do, and I don’t know which one I should do. One, I could go over there and say nothing. Two, I could tell them I’m gay, accept it or leave it without changing their minds later on down the road. Three, ignore them. God, do I hate this! What do I do?

WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 26, 1992 Well, I didn’t sleep as long as I’d have liked to. I slept till 12:30.

My neighbor, Cliff, who lives above Mark, says he’s got the day off tomorrow and can take me to the store. I hope I get my food stamps tomorrow, but I doubt it’ll be that soon. Yesterday, though, I did get my food stamp ID card. I hope they’re on their way for once, but if not I’ll have to use the few dollars I have to get a few things. I need to spare my cash for cigarettes and I hope mom and dad have money on the way.

It seems like 80% of my journals are all about my need for money. Is this how it’ll be for the rest of my life? But of all the reasons I can come up with that are not worth living for, this is another one. Who wants to go through life having no food half the time? You don’t have to feed a dead person and mom and dad don’t have to worry or help a dead person financially. A dead person can’t worry about not being a singer. A dead person can’t be burned by jerks. A dead person can’t want to be with someone.

God, I hate feeling this way! Especially here. It’s too beautiful here to have to worry about food and money. I’m glad that it’s gotten much easier these days knowing I cannot have a career as a singer, or the ideal relationship, or a child, but I’d be super, super, super happy if I could eat, pay the rent and bills and have a little left over for fun.

Thank God my parents and their place is OK. Dad says within two months I’ll have the rest of my stuff back.

Yesterday I sent out my electric bill and letters to Lisa, Fran and Nervous. I sent out Andy’s letter as well as Debbie’s letter. I also had junk mail with no-postage-necessary envelopes. I’ve sent in Debbie’s request for a jewelry catalog as well as for a Visa card. In a few months, Barbara will get a letter. Meanwhile, whenever I have a no-postage-necessary envelope for whatever, I’ll send it to Barb and Debbie along with various other people. I have to get a letter out to Mark, Tammy and my parents next.

Later…

I am dead tired today. I didn’t even sleep 8 hours and wish I’d slept a few hours later. Once I’m up, though, I’m up. I’ll just feel groggy all day. What would really perk me up would be to get my food stamps today, go shopping, come back and go swimming and work on my tan.

I spoke to Ellie and Fay briefly yesterday. As usual, Ellie started off cheerful, then she got crabby.

I helped Fay fill out a form for her yearly food stamp review. I left her alone in the apartment for a few minutes to go tell Mark I’d get a ride from someone else (he was drinking) and she stepped out saying she’d be right back. I hope she didn’t steal anything which I haven’t discovered yet. You know how paranoid I am about that. I also do a damn good job of attracting people like that.

I very quickly spoke to Stephanie and Angel yesterday. Angel’s sister Grace has gone back to Idaho where they’re from and now another sister of hers is here. I guess her name’s Bonnie. On my way out of the pool area, Angel asked me how things were going. I told her I’d be friendly and say hi, she’s never done me wrong, but I’m being cautious and keeping my mouth shut. I told her thanks for her concern, she’s a nice person, but I’ve been burned twice unfairly. I’m keeping to myself.

I also met two really nice girls who are roommates named Tara and Tonya. I met each one once before. They both have cute faces and medium-length hair blond hair. Tara’s a little heavy and Tonya has a very nice figure.

Tara says she plays the keyboards and they both want to get together with me. Once again, they all seem nice in the beginning, so I really hope they don’t pursue my friendship. I don’t think they’ll really bother seeking me out. They seem fairly stable and not the type to do such things. I have no idea how open-minded they may or may not be, but they seem like the dumpers, more than the dumpees.

The maintenance man came and fixed my bathroom faucet which dripped. He also moved my underwear almost behind the toilet but left my shorts and tank top where they were. I gave him permission to come in if I wasn’t here and I guess males are always males no matter what. I shouldn’t have left the clothes there either. The maintenance men stare me down all the time. They’re shabby scabby Mexicans. The exact type that would stare me down. I gave a show on my patio the other day. I pretended to be fighting with someone in my apartment.

I got some more CDs in the mail. That was fast.

When I go to the store, it’ll be after the mail gets here, but I doubt my food stamps will come today. Fay said Friday or Saturday, but I hope sooner.

Later…

I just spoke to Mark briefly, then went into the Jacuzzi.

Fay was on the pay phone and I headed over to Ellie’s for coffee but she was asleep. I could see her in bed through the side of her blinds.

I borrowed Andy’s vacuum yesterday and I woke him up. Well, I didn’t, his door did. He’s got a very squeaky door. Sometime today, I’m gonna vacuum my bathroom and kitchen after I scrub them down.

At 9 AM I’m gonna watch a talk show.

MONDAY, AUGUST 24, 1992 I am a little anxious now as I’ve heard on the news Florida’s gonna be hit by Hurricane Andrew. It’s supposed to be the worst in history. We’ve been hit here with tropical storm Lester and we’ve had lots of rain. I guess Miami’s gonna get it worse, but they say the coast is always the main target and I’m worried about my folks. No one in this family needs any more shit. We’ve all had enough and should they lose their home I’d be just as affected. I don’t mean to sound selfish, but my pictures and other things of mine are there. Also, I need their help financially. All they need is that crisis on top of what’s happening to me now. I’m scared for them and I’m scared for myself. This hurricane is supposed to be worse than Hurricane Hugo in 1989. They’ve also already estimated 10 billion dollars worth of damage.

Not only do I pray to you God to lift the curse off of me and allow me to be OK real soon money-wise, but leave my parents alone, too! Don’t let this hurricane destroy them. What is it I must do to make everything OK? With my parents and with me? If you can hear me up there, please spare my parents and find a way for me to go to the grocery store fast. For a huge shopping order. Please let them send me my food stamps this week. I promise to behave and keep out of trouble if you make sure I have enough food and cash. Also, please let my test results be OK and the visit with my parole officer be OK. Take care of my parents and me in the way that I ask and I will try to be as good as I can and I will keep to myself. Remember how happy I was when I first came here, even though I had a bad vibe? Allow me to feel that again, worry-free with no bad vibes. All I can say is that I’ve been through too much. Enough is enough and I don’t want to “prove” my strength anymore. I miraculously went through the crap I did in CT and with money here and never cut myself. Isn’t that enough? Isn’t that good enough proof for you? Let me be OK so I can relax and be happy. Free me from worries, fears and anxieties. Take care of my parents. There’s nothing else I can say as I’ve nailed it to the point.

Later…

I’m watching Matlock now and I think I’ll go to bed after Oprah. I’ve been up since 8:00 last night. I hope no one knocks on my door or Robert walks too hard so I can sleep hopefully much later than 8:00.

Starting at 8:00 Eastern time I began trying to reach my parents and got no answer. At 9:30 Eastern time, I got in touch with Tammy after the line was busy for a while. She’d just spoken to Ma and they’re fine and so is the island. She did leave on the 1st but they went other places before getting to Mom and Dad on the 10th. On the way back a suitcase of clothes fell off the top of their van. Dad said the same thing happened on the way down.

I spoke to Mom and Dad and they’re fine.

I do have more to say, but I’ll write later. I’m getting very tired.

SUNDAY, AUGUST 23, 1992 I’m watching Little House on the Prairie. The Twin Peaks movie is finally out. It starts on the 28th. It’s called Fire Walk With Me.

Last night I thought of a great way to mail letters free with no stamp. You write the address of the person you want it sent to as the return address. Put a phony name and address as the one you’re gonna send it to and it’ll get sent to the one you want it sent to returned for postage.

I made up a letter for Robert upstairs with some of the hair my dad sent. I also got a new and better letter for Debbie back in Oakwood Knoll with some hair. Next will be Barbara a few months from now. I want to space them out. I also have several others to send mail to in MA. Besides Nervous, Fran and Kim.

When I get a phone I’ll contact Jessie collect. If it won’t go through, I’ll try from a payphone or write her a letter. I also am gonna send Andy a letter. It’s got his address as the return one, of course, and Jayke in Chicopee, as who he’s sending a letter. He always says he never gets letters anymore since I moved here. It’ll be a surprise as I haven’t said anything about it.

I’ve got to stop for something to eat. I’m fucking starving!

Later…

I’m boiling water now to make some noodles.

Earlier I ran into Robert and two of his buddies. He introduced us (I forgot their names) and I joked once again about how I saw him profiled on America’s Most Wanted. He laughed and said he saw me on his milk carton. I told him I ran away from Taxachusetts.

We all went to the Jacuzzi and were laughing and telling all kinds of jokes.

He reminded me of our little arrangement and asked if I knew of any girls for him. I told him I didn’t and he knew of no one either.

He asked if it was me who made those funny calls and I burst out laughing. He said he knew of some pranks for me and they were all laughing at my calls to him. I told him about the letter and I gave it to him when we got back.

I have to send a letter to Mark next door. Then again, I’d rather send one to Donna. It’s been a long time since she’s heard from me. I have to try this on my mom and sister, too.

I wonder if my sister’s back home now. She said she’d call me when she returned but I have not yet heard from her.

Monday I need to call my bank about my balance. Also, I’ll call Peggy Sue at DES (Dept. of Economic Security) about my goddamn mother-fucking food stamps. Will I ever get them? If I don’t and what with SS fucking me over, my parents are gonna need to send me around $300 a month. I mean, they’re absolutely gonna have to. I can’t be evicted and totally starving. So they may have no choice.

I’m managing fairly well to try to keep my fear, anger and anxiety in check and smile and laugh. I’m also nervous about the results of my pap smear and when my parole officer comes to see me. I also want a phone!

Now with no more babysitting jobs except for Kara’s baby occasionally and not knowing what the fuck’s going on with my money, I better wait on getting a phone. I hate babysitting with a passion but I do need the money. I’m gonna call up Stacey, or go over there and thank her for leading me on, rather than telling me what’s going on.

I’m so sick of worrying about money! My stomach problems are worse since I have no choice but to not eat right. I never ate right all the time when I did have food money, but now it’s been so long since I’ve eaten right or enough. Not since last May. What is my purpose in this world? I wanna try to enjoy myself here the best I can without worrying about money, bills and food. And mind my own business, stop being so friendly and stop making friends. Just say hi to people and leave it at that.

I wish I could go to bed now and get up at 1:00. That way I can tan. Tomorrow’s gonna be a great day for that at only 94º.

FRIDAY, AUGUST 21, 1992 Not too much happened today. Andy and I went to get my meds. I got my Theodur and Azmacort, but they say as of Aug. 1st, the state will no longer pay for Alupent. It figures there’s got to be some problem for me. The woman there is gonna call Dr. Kareus and see if it can be changed to something similar like Proventil or Ventolin.

I’m really nervous about the results of my pap smear. This bloating stomach of mine, along with the funny feeling in my lower belly and the discharges has been going on too long. It’s really obnoxious. I am DES-exposed after all, and I do have a much higher chance of cervical cancer.

I swear that if I ever did need surgery again in my life for something that serious, I’d refuse. I’d rather die first and I still feel there are more reasons to want to drop dead than to live for. There are too many more problems in this world, even though things have improved as far as my living conditions. Too many more fucked up people than good and too many second-best and settlements to live for.

I still feel there’s a curse on me and there’s still a long way to go to getting food stamps and financial security. Something’s out to get me and get me good. It would’ve sounded crazy to me a long time ago, but now it’s rather obvious. So much goes wrong that I didn’t deserve. People shit on me I never shit on.

The horriblescopes, as we call them, in the TV guide are always accurate. What I read scared me. I went over to say hi to Fay. She gave me some cups and mugs she no longer wanted and whenever she’s got the TV guide I read the horriblescopes. I can remember reading these from TV guides a few years ago and what they said was true. The only thing it was off on was romance cuz it doesn’t apply to me. I read the horriblescopes from last Sat. to this Sat. It said to keep isolated and distance myself from people, otherwise, they’ll burn me whether I ask for it or not. It was right. The horriblescope from this Saturday to next Saturday was scary, but I figured as much anyway. It said delays and frustrations are right for me now.

Gee, thanks a lot! When is this shit gonna end with food stamps and SS? Taking away my dream of becoming a singer and having lust is enough. Making life one big settlement’s enough, but can’t I eat and pay my bills?! When it’s over, you know it’s over, but I can still sense more trouble ahead. Sometimes I wish I would come down with some terminal disease. One that’d wipe me out quickly and painlessly. I doubt there’s any such way to go, but I have had just way too much physically and mentally. Why can’t I just have one solid year of non-stop happiness and peace? This crap with Rosemarie was one thing. That much I can deal with. I’m so used to it, but give me my God damn food stamps and get SS off my back with their lies and bullshit! That way, settling will be easier and the smaller problems will be more tolerable. I have too many major setbacks which all hit me at once. All can go OK for a while, then I’m hit with several major issues and problems. Space them out and cut them down in size and severity, please God!!

Later…

We’re having a thunder and lightning storm which is awesome. We’re also having a cool spell. It actually feels cool and very comfortable. It’s around 75º but it feels so much cooler. If it were 75º at home, it’d be hot. Probably muggy, too. We do have some humid days here but nothing like back east. Notice how I refer to it as back east, rather than back home. Anyway, it’s very dry now and there’s a fantastic breeze. I always open my two windows and my sliding glass door when it’s windy to air out the place. The storm’s over now but before, during and after a storm it’s very windy.

Now I see what Andy means when he tells me it does get chilly in the winter. Too chilly to swim and when it gets below 60º it’s chilly. It feels cooler than it actually is but when it’s 110º, you feel it!

My asthma’s doing great. Tomorrow it’s supposed to be only 94º! That’ll feel like 80º and today they said it was 102º. I slept all day, of course. I think I can stand to turn off my AC tonight, or at least push it way up. I wish I lived on the 2nd floor so I could sleep with my windows open and have more privacy. I’ll just keep the blinds down. The girl on the second floor next to Andy’s moving out. He’s gonna talk to Stacey, the complex manager, about breaking up the $95 transfer fee in payments over the next year. I doubt she’ll go for it, but we’ll see. I have all the free time in the world so it doesn’t bother me. It’s something to do.

THURSDAY, AUGUST 20, 1992 I’ll now write about what happened with Rosemarie and Rick the other night. I was already in a bad mood due to that letter from SS. I still hadn’t gotten ahold of my dad yet at that time. I was making coffee when there was a knock on my door. It was Rosemarie. Apparently, Rick was hiding around the corner cuz at that time I didn’t see him. I guess she felt she needed his protection. She said she came to “set me straight.” I told her she did that a month ago when she told me she wanted nothing to do with me. She was the one who went from claiming to be so open-minded and accepting to being unable to accept people who aren’t just like her. She stabbed me in the back and prejudged and misjudged me.

Then she said she heard I was running around telling people I want her body. That’s bullshit, of course, as I’ve only told Andy, Fay and Ellie and I don’t see why they would tell the whole complex this. She also said something about me saying she was beating the shit out of me. I have no idea about that one either, but I just hope I didn’t misunderstand what was really her threatening me and me not jumping her for it, with or without Rick’s protection. She said not to leave letters on their door. Well, of course, I know all about that one but denied it, even though a red flat with Fay’s name went up on that one. Could she have told her about that? Would she tell her about that?

She added that she and Rick are fighting, though I don’t know what this has to do with me. I told her they’re all worked up over nothing, and their paranoia and fighting is their problem, not mine.

Then she said, “So, you’re saying she’s lying?”

I asked who’s “she” and she said she couldn’t say cuz she promised she wouldn’t say her name.

Yeah, sure. Whatever. It was probably Fay she misunderstood or something unless now it’s Fay’s turn to turn into a backstabber. Anyway, they made up everything except the letter, which I denied, of course.

Then as I opened the door and she was leaving, Rick appeared. He said, “I’m bothered, but I do understand your fantasy. Leave us alone. Don’t hang by the pool, don’t lurk.”

I said that I don’t “lurk” and if I want to swim in the pool, that’s my choice and my right. And sure he understands my “fantasy!”

Then they left. I’m sure the reason why they never attacked me was cuz they didn’t know how it’d come back on them by way of management or the cops. Plus, I know where they live. They sure as hell pissed me off. Big time. I was already in the foul and shittiest mood and I snapped. I’m sick of being the nice one, not asking for the shit I get, and people getting away with giving it to me. I wanted to show them who they were dealing with and who they just pissed off and over the edge.

As I opened my door to walk out, Dave the security guard was there. He said he was just coming to knock on my door and I told him exactly what happened. Then as I headed over to their place, my anger building more and more, his supervisor heard it all over the walkie-talkie and thought I was trying to commit suicide. I was really throwing rocks up to their place yelling for them to come down and face me again. I was so pissed! I really wanted to fight and get my anger out! It would’ve been on the right people, too. I know they heard me, but they never had the guts to open their door. Again, even though I wasn’t threatened (at least I don’t think I was), I was so pissed and wanted their asses so bad. I was sick of being shit on. Maybe I should’ve gone up and tried kicking their door down, even if I would’ve gotten arrested.

Then I headed back to my place and Dave followed. We talked and he began to calm me down. He said he understood I’m not usually like this and knew I’d never go off like that without a good reason. He said, “Smoke your cigarette and calm down. You’re doing well. I’ll get you a glass of water.”

So then two cops came and they were very friendly and I told them what happened. They said not to worry and that all will work out fine. Gee, I hope so cuz I’m really, really sick of this shit with the people here!

I saw him earlier tonight and he gave me a hug as I thanked him for talking with me.

Now I really, really mean it when I say no more friends other than the people I already know! I’m not talking to any new people. And now I have to try to figure out if Fay really is a friend or not. How else would Rosemarie know it was me who left the note on the door unless she or Rick saw me?

After I go make coffee, I do have more to write about concerning Kara.

Later…

Everything on TV was boring tonight, so now I’ll write about Kara. She came over and asked if I was OK and she told me she saw 3 cruisers pull up. I told her what happened and we ended up having a long, very nice talk. Between her and her mom and sister, I always took a liking to her most of all. I could sense she was the most open one of them all and the easiest to talk to. I could sense she and her sister were complete opposites like me and my sister. She told me her sister is a bitch and they were never close. She also says Stacey’s not very dependable. As in babysitting. I told her to tell Stacey to tell me if she’s not interested in a babysitter flat out, rather than leave me hanging.

I also wonder about the other Stacey, too. If I don’t hear from her in a week or so, I’ll call her. I will tell her just the same. “Tell me you’re not interested, but do not lead me on, keeping me wondering and waiting.”

Kara and her mom are moving across the street to a 2-bedroom apartment at the Via El Camino complex. She told me she’d always need me to babysit here and there, but especially so if she gets a job.

I also had another “sense” about Kara. When I told her why Rosemarie shit on me, I told her she could run out, too. I’m used to it. She said she knew gay people back in Michigan where she’s from as well as here and that she’s slept with women, too. Mostly during threesomes. I told her I wasn’t shocked. I sensed it. She also said she’s got a good 6th sense and she suspected I was gay. It’s funny how in the bars they all swear I’m straight, yet more and more people outside of bars tell me they’ve suspected me. And you know I look far from dyky. Maybe it’s my muscle tone and firm “don’t fuck with me” attitude I give off at the same time I give off an open, sensitive attitude and have a sense of humor. I know she’s bi, but she’s more into men. The funny thing about Kara is that she’s plain and homely, but she’s not. I don’t know why but I constantly think of her. Naturally, I’d never ever dare tell her. I know she’d never turn around and punch me out, but I’d still never tell her. It’s my secret and she’s more into men and could think I’m ugly for all I know.

She did ask if I’d like to go out to this place near the Metro Center. A place with pinball games and stuff like that.

She said anytime I need to talk, she’s there. I was so afraid and so hesitant about being her friend and she said she understood why. I said I hope our friendship does stick and she said it’ll stick with utter confidence. That’s cool and I really do like her and appreciated her talking with me. She came over a few days ago too, to visit with me.

I’m gonna go out on my porch and have a smoke. I really shouldn’t smoke in the apartment.

WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 19, 1992 My God, I cannot believe all the things that have happened since I last wrote! In less than 24 hours my whole world turned upside down once again. There’s always one problem after another that I don’t ask for. Mainly with money and backstabbing people. I’m cursed no matter where I live but the problems are mainly food and money. I’ve been so damn happy here otherwise, so why can’t whatever’s cursing me leave me alone?

Upon arriving here in Arizona, I had a horrible vibe about money and food. It’s like I could hear something telling me it’ll only allow me so much to eat. Enjoy food when you’ve got it cuz it won’t last long. Something’s out to starve me and get me real good. The only thing I can think of as to why this is happening is cuz I billed a couple of calls to Gloria, but the punishment doesn’t fit the crime. What happened with Rick and Rosemarie is enough. Why keep me with money problems, very little for me to eat, and keep the food stamps stalling? Gloria’s fucking rich!

Rosemarie’s a bitch who’s no surprise. I mean, typical happenings with the ones I’m attracted to and I’m used to that. But sex with Rosemarie or other gorgeous women isn’t a necessity. Food is. And paying the rent and the electric bill.

Ellie never came to my door like she said she would and I fell asleep at 9 AM. Kara knocked on my door asking me if I could babysit her daughter Ashley from 2:00 - 3:30. I said I would and she went to a job interview. I was psyched, and she gave me $10 in food stamps.

I woke up in a fine mood even though I was quite hungry.

I told her I was gonna go check my mail, then get the baby. As I walked closer to my mailbox, my hopes for any food stamps began to fade. A bad vibe came on stronger. I knew they were gonna come after my SS check! They pulled the same shit they pulled when I moved to CT. They say I’m overpaid and are gonna snatch $231 out of my $426! But I never even was overpaid. Then they said I didn’t tell them I was moving in time to prevent the overpayment. Also, they proved that me paying the money back wouldn’t put a financial hardship on me. Ha! How do you call using $200 to pay rent of $277, the electric bill and food no financial hardship? Oh yeah, that’s really easy.

These people are fucking fucked in the head and they don’t give a shit about no one but themselves and taking away people’s money to spend it on garbage. The food stamp people only care about minorities and single mothers.

While I babysat Ashley I sat there crying, wishing I could enjoy my happiness here without worrying constantly about food and money. Wishing I could drop dead so as not to worry about being able to eat, pay bills, depend on others for help and live a second-best life. Life is one big settlement. Any curse here is better than being in Norwich. However, I feel like life’s one big sentence and I’m just waiting till my time’s up. Whatever it is up there took away my music and I’ll never have real serious lust, but why this? Can’t I have smaller problems less often? Can’t I eat OK and pay my bills easily enough? Kara gave me a couple of TV dinners and I tried calling mom and dad. As usual, when it’s urgent and you really need them, they’re not home. If you’re happy and just gonna say hi, they answer. Next time something important comes up, I won’t even bother calling right away. And with one curse after another, I know it won’t stop at this point. I finally did get in touch with my parents at around 8:30 my time. Dad answered and I told him the whole story. I told him I’d send him a photocopy of the bullshit letter from SS. He said not to worry and that it was a minor problem he can take care of. He said let them take it out of my check and he’ll send me some money. Meanwhile, he said to call the food stamp people and tell them I need my food stamps.

But I’ve been doing that since June 9th!

I have tons and tons more to write about, but I am way too tired. I’m sneezing my ass off and I hope I’m not coming down with anything. I have a doctor’s appointment tomorrow. Also, I think Terros is coming out.

Later…

I am here now at Dr. Karius’ office and I guess it’s a good thing I brought this journal. The receptionist told me he’s way behind.

I never could fall asleep last night till nearly 6 AM. I couldn’t stop sneezing. I got up and took some Suditab my mom sent me, then fell asleep. Right now, I am still very tired. I kept waking up constantly. Every hour or so. I’m not sneezing too much now but my eyes are a little swollen and puffy even though Andy says they’re perfectly white.

I still haven’t gotten my food stamps today but am I surprised?

I left off last night with my talk with my dad. After I ask the receptionist if there’s a place around here where I can get some coffee and a bite to eat, I’ll continue with Rosemarie and Kara.

Later…

I am home now, thank God. I was at the doctor’s for so long. Around two hours. The doctor said never to make appointments on a Wednesday. Shouldn’t he have told me this before?

Hunter’s going on now so I’ll write when it’s over.

Later…

We’re having a humongous thunder and lightning storm now.

There’s not much to say about the doctor’s visit. But he did say there’s still a funny discharge. I’ll call in a week to find out the results of the pap smear. It certainly didn’t tickle and I was bleeding afterward. He said that can happen.

I weigh 99 pounds. He also filled my prescriptions. They filled out my TAP form and photocopied that letter from SS. I hope it’s not raining inside the mailbox I threw it in.

TUESDAY, AUGUST 18, 1992 I am not in the best of moods right now. Two other people I know got their food stamps. What in the hell is going on with me? Why do they continue to do this to me? I can’t keep eating only soup and crackers on a daily basis! If the food stamp people still plan on never sending me my stamps, I’ll starve cuz for all I know my next babysitting job could be ages from now. I only have a few bucks on me and a little in the bank. That’s got to be used for my electric bill. What did I do to deserve this? Is this compensation for my moving here? Just cuz I moved, God’s got to take away my food? Taking away my singing career and good sex is enough! Can’t I just have enough food to eat every day? Please, God! Take away the singing, take away Rosemarie and other people like her, make them dump on me, but don’t take away my food! Let me eat! Please let them send me my food stamps this week!

The only good news is that I got that journal through priority mail from Kim.

Later…

I thought I’d get up early today, or yesterday, I should say. I thought the lawnmowers would wake me, but I thought wrong. I was actually falling asleep as they were mowing the lawns.

Ellie is gonna wake me up at 1:00 with coffee.

I desperately need to go tanning. I don’t know about that, though. I just heard them say on TV it’ll be 112º tomorrow! I may have to hold off on my deep dark tan until September or October.

Wednesday I have a doctor’s appointment and I sure hope I’m not told anything I don’t want to hear. Andy says he’ll pick up my prescriptions the next day on his way home from work. I hope he remembers. He’s got shit for memory but he claims to be giving up pot for a few months.

I still haven’t made up my mind on whether or not to slip Rosemarie that note. I’m sure I’m wasting my time, and again, if it were meant to be I’d have found that out long ago. I’ll never be able to sleep with a woman as beautiful as she is. With my luck, she’ll refuse to even take the note when I hand it to her. If I do. Hey, why not one of these days? So what if I know it’ll come to nothing. The game of it is still fun.

Later…

Speaking of notes, I almost forgot to mention what Andy did. He delivered the same note Mark got to Rosemarie. At 11:30 or so, he was out taking a walk and he taped it to their door. Fay said she thinks Rick leaves before Rosemarie and I hope she’s wrong. I hope she gets it, but even if she doesn’t, naturally she’ll hear all about it. What a confusing way to start off your morning, regardless of who gets it first!

MONDAY, AUGUST 17, 1992 I can’t sleep so I figured now’s a good time to write. I still have some updating to do. Well, my sister’s 35 now. I guess she, Bill and the girls will be home in a few days. I sent out a letter to Becky and now I’ve got to get one out to Lisa, Tammy and my parents.

When in the hell will I get the rest of my picture collection sent to me?

Stacey, Justin’s mom, got fired from her job last Monday. She still says she and her husband will need a regular babysitter. She says she’ll let me know when she needs me to babysit. The other Stacey said that too, and I hope they both hurry the hell up. I need the money. I swear God’s out to starve me! He just doesn’t want me eating on a normal and regular basis. But why? I still don’t believe I’ll ever get food stamps till I see it. It’s been 3 months now. Why are they doing this to me? Last Friday I got the form to sign from the woman who did my phone interview. I signed it and enclosed a rent receipt and my electric bill stub. I mailed it out that day. I’ve done all that’s required of me, yet for all I know, they’ll wait another 3 months. Even a whole month is too long unless I can babysit.

I learned how to use the grills here, which is easy. Very convenient, too. No dirty frying pan to clean after I make a hamburger.

I ran into Ellie that night and I played with her head a bit and teased her. She also trimmed my hair at midnight on the 16th. I had her take off 2”, trim my bangs, and blend my antlers, as I call them, to make it look better as it grows out. She did a very nice job and of course, my hair is now in shock. If you only trim your hair once or twice a year, it will go into shock. It appears 3 or even 4 inches shorter, but the great thing about it is, is that in only a week it’ll be back where it was. Then, it’ll fly. I mean, it’ll grow so fast. When my birthday comes, I’ll be sitting on it without having to put my head back. It’s still very very very curly. Spirally curly. When I pull the curls straight, it is 4” longer. Pulled straight, it was to the crack of my ass before she trimmed it. Now when you pull it straight it’s at my waist. Let go of it and let it curl up and it’s just above the waist. Mark and Andy said they didn’t notice it at all. Maybe that was cuz I had it all brushed out.

Later…

Now to finish the sick, cruel, mean and unfair Rosemarie story. Typical, though, cuz this is what I always get from the ones I feel a “spark” with. It comes as no real surprise to me. I asked for it by wasting my time with her and set myself up for what happened but it was fun till I got burned.

After I gave Rosemarie a piece of my mind for dumping on me, Stephanie jumped in the pool when I jumped in with her. She asked me what was up and I said, “That goddamn mother-fucking son of a bitch!” She asked me who I was referring to and I gestured towards Rosemarie and said, “That one!”

Then I told Stephanie and Harriett what happened. Right away Stephanie understood, but Harriett was sort of holding it against me, saying something about me having a lot of anger. Yes, I did, and I had reason to, as I pointed out. Then she asked me if I always take my anger and misery out on everyone, though I don’t know who she thought I was supposed to be taking it out on. I thought, gee, here we go with another winner out to judge a person and a situation they don’t even know. Just as I was saying, “Hey, you don’t even know me or what happened” (I was actually talking to Steph), Stephanie defended me and told Harriett that she’d be pissed and go off, too. Afterward, I did chat with Harriett and it was nice. I’d never want to be buddies with her, though.

Rosemarie heard everything we said and eventually got up to leave, never once saying a word or even looking at me. Stephanie, Harriett and I were yelling out all kinds of weird shit along the way.

I still think she was influenced by Rick (probably cuz he knew I wouldn’t include him in the sex I wanted to have with her). If she were single and living alone, then just maybe she’d have a mind of her own. For now, I’ll never know what she’s really thinking and feeling. I doubt I ever will, either.

Later…

Since I still can’t sleep, I’ll finish with Rosemarie. I’m pissed that my schedule’s all fucked up again. For the last two days, I tried setting my alarm to get up earlier, but it never worked. The hard part is pulling myself out of bed. If I could just pull myself up out of bed, have a bite to eat and some coffee, I’ll be OK. Tired, but at least I’ll be up. Then I can go lie out and relax by the pool all day. Or as long as I can stand it. It’s hot. I mean, really fucking hot! I’m losing all my color too, and that pisses me off. Tanning will be easier and more tolerable in a month or two from now when it gets cooler. I do have my Walkman and nothing to do tomorrow.

Andy and I went out for Chinese food earlier and I withdrew a little money. I need my food stamps!

He and another gay guy he works with were gonna go out to a bar, but I guess they never did. He mentioned doing karaoke tomorrow night but he’s got to have dinner with his friend Anita who’s moving to Florida. I hear she hates it here, mainly cuz of the people. Andy and several others have said the same thing. That compared to several other states, Arizona has the worst people. People come off as friendly at first, then they stab you in the back. Donna and Rosemarie are perfect examples, but I say people are screwed up everywhere. There are sick, cruel, vindictive, insensitive, narrow-minded, stupid and judgmental people all over the world. Again, leave it to those who are pretty and emotionally and financially stable to screw you up and over. On the other hand, I really believe that people like Donna and Rosemarie are what you call “great pretenders.” They’re the ones who do the best job of seeming as if they’ve got their shit 100% together. Rosemarie has no backbone of her own. She’s got to kiss society’s ass as well as her boyfriend’s. If she really is curious and or not completely happy with Rick, why doesn’t she leave? Or say how she feels? Is it that difficult? I’m 98% sure she can support her own self and she seems like she could survive on her own. She does not seem like the so-called desperate type.

Why can’t people associate with those who are different? Can’t she tell herself, “OK I’m not into what she’s into, but she’s who she is and I’m who I am, just be friends,” and that’s it?

Life would be too boring if we all were the same and did the same thing, said the same thing, thought the same thing, wore the same clothes, did the same job. What’s wrong with variety?

Rosemarie and Rick had claimed they were so open, accepting and fascinated with all types of people. Ha, Ha. Donna said the same thing.

Fay spoke to Rosemarie in the laundry room and I guess the fear of AIDS came up. Fay simply reminded Rosemarie that straights can get AIDS, too. And straight women are more at risk than gay women. Fay said Rosemarie said she felt bad and didn’t mean to hurt me. Also that Rick was in fear of losing her and she’s in fear of Rick as he supposedly beat up some other girl. She really did want to come and see me, she claims, but Rick was watching her like a hawk. Lastly, she’d communicate with me through Fay, and for now, I shouldn’t say hi to her at the pool cuz of Rick.

So the next night at 10:00, Fay and Rosemarie were to meet in the laundry room. Fay waited half an hour and she never showed up. At 10:45 I went to the pool and made it look like I was looking for someone. I saw Rosemarie and Rick outside their door. It seemed as if they were arguing, but I couldn’t make out any words. I ran and told Fay, who said they do have their fights.

The next day Fay told me that shortly after that, they both showed up at her door. Rosemarie had changed her story and went along with Rick. Fay said Rosemarie was kissing Rick’s ass but agrees that she may handle things differently without Rick in the picture. I told Fay I already figured as much. Fay also said that if I were straight, Rick would have no fear of me hanging around with her. Also, if I were bi, I may have been able to go in on a threesome with them. God only knows there are plenty of folks into that scene.

One day while I was tanning I saw Rick as he was walking by. Shockingly, he did say hi. Then the Saturday before last, Rosemarie was leaving the pool area as I was walking in. She shocked the shit out of me and said, “That’s a pretty bathing suit.” My head told me to tell her to fuck off, go to hell and die. My heart was jumping for joy and I said thanked her while I tried to hide the grin on my face.

It’s so hard when it comes to the ultimate attraction like this, but not as hard as it used to be. Once similar situations happen over and over, they get easier to deal with. I’ve been dumped numerous times and they were all usually by the beautiful ones. You do get used to it and immune to crying really badly. You learn to pretty much expect it. Back when I knew Mary, Norah and Nissan, them dumping on me was very hard on me. I was young and still inexperienced as far as being dumped was concerned. Now it’s far from anything new.

I must get a bite to eat.

Later…

God, I wish I was just waking up. When I do fall asleep, not sleeping too late should be easy. Monday’s the day they mow all the lawns at 6 AM.

I wonder if I should slip Rosemarie a note? I’d probably be wasting my time, but once again, the chase is fun. It can be a fun game if you make it that way. Wondering is fun even though I’d die to get her in bed just once. Ellie says that once you get that ultimate attraction, you won’t want it anymore. Sort of like the end of the race at that point. I hope she’s right and if so, I especially hope I get it soon. Yes, I know I am only dreaming when I say that. Maybe in my next life. I have a note written up anyway. In it, I ask if we can meet up in the laundry room at 10:00 tonight. I don’t know exactly when and if I’ll really ever give it to her. We’ll see.

God, just send her to me! Have her tell me she’s curious to try it once but to never tell anyone. I can keep a secret. Other than with Andy, of course.

My fortune cookie last night said a letter of great importance will come in the mail. It better be good and about my food stamps! I hope I get some letters and packages. I also hope Kim lives up to her promises of a letter, a journal, and blank tapes. I still have tons of editing to do.

I’m also gonna get 3 people in trouble. Donna, cuz I can’t stand her, and 2 others who have cats. They live on the 1st and 2nd floors where they’re not allowed. Donna’s got blinds hanging up on her patio to block the sun. Those are not allowed. Why should everyone else be allowed to break the rules while I was forced to give up my cat?

Well, I guess I’ll try to get some sleep now.

SATURDAY, AUGUST 15, 1992 I don’t think I’ll write too much tonight as I am kind of tired. That’s good, though.

I got another job from another girl here named Stacey. This job seems like it oughta be better than babysitting for Justin. By the way, she’s from Taxachusetts, too. Haverhill, which is about a half-hour from Boston. She says she’s very flexible and I will be working at night for her. She may need me to clean and babysit her 13-month-old son on Saturday nights when she goes out. She works for MCI and has very little free time so she goes out on Saturday nights usually from 7 PM - 1 AM.

Soon I can get a phone and do some very serious shopping. Andy and I did go to the mall earlier and I bought 3 new journals. I also got cigarettes and some ice cream.

I hope I fall asleep by 3:00 and can get up at 11:00 or noon. I need my tan back!

FRIDAY, AUGUST 14, 1992 Two days ago was my parent’s anniversary and I asked Dad, when I spoke to them on the phone, how many years it’s been. Dad said 41 years and I said, “Wow, 41 years with the same person!”

Dad said, “Yeah, I gotta get used to it.”

Ma said, “And almost 27 years with the same daughter.”

Well, at least I got one thing in my favor over Tammy. She’s been Tammy’s mom for 8 years longer than mine.

Who can I send the hair I got to? There’s enough to send to a few people. I’ll mail Nervous Dad’s letter and perhaps mail Bob’s letter to either Rosemarie or Donna. It was the same letter I stuck on Mark’s door.

When you’re just hanging around talking to Mark, he’s a good guy. If he’s drinking or with his friends, they’re all weird together.

I took an old address book over and asked him if he knew anything about it. I said I found it by my door. I did it cuz he never asked me about the letter. I knew this would bring up the subject and it did. He said it had his name in it, along with Michelle’s (some chick he screws), and he read it and had no idea what the hell it was. I asked him if I could have it to play a joke on Andy. Sure, he said.

I don’t know Rosemarie’s or Rick’s last name, but I sure wish I knew that along with their phone number and Ellie’s. I’ll get Ellie’s eventually.

One of Mark’s friends says he’s moving back to Texas and he may give me a small table for my porch. It’ll be nice to do my writing out there once the weather cools off and becomes more bearable. I don’t know. You know I never buy anything unless I see it. I may eventually buy a medium-sized color TV for $25 from Mark. We’ll see.

I still have so much writing to do even though I’ve got tons of other stuff to do. I want to get letters out to Tammy, Becky and Lisa so they’ll all have them when they get home. I guess they’ll be home on the 20th, according to Tammy.

Because I slept till 3:30 PM, I’ll be up till around 9 AM and I’ll only get a few hours of sleep. I want to get up and call the bank to inquire about my balance and also I must get on with my tan. I promised to be very dark by now and I’m not. It’s hard to keep patient about it and tolerate the heat. It’ll be about 107º tomorrow. I think in a month or two from now, it’ll be much easier to tolerate tanning.

Even though I will be exhausted, at least I can make money under the table, at home. The hard part tomorrow will be pulling myself up out of bed. If I can just do that at noon, take my meds, and have coffee, I can lie down, close my eyes and relax at the pool. I’ll take my Walkman which has fresh batteries. Andy took it to use on the plane and he put new batteries in it. I still have to get batteries for my wall clocks here. Once you put them in, they last forever. My flashlight will need some, too.

So, the only stressful part of tomorrow is chasing the kid all over here trying to keep him out of my stuff, but at least I’ll be paid tomorrow. The first day he was OK and he took a nap for an hour and a half. When he woke up he cried for an hour or so. The last time the little beast cried for 3 hours. I couldn’t shut it up and I have no idea in hell how people do it on a regular basis whether they’re single or not. It’s not worth it and it makes me wonder how and why I wanted one for a while. First, there’s the physical part of it. The morning sickness, the labor, delivery, being forever fatter, and the baby blues. Then there’s the screaming and crying while you never can sleep and are tied down unable to go anywhere while they trash your place and cost thousands and thousands of dollars.

Well, it is at home, under the table. I need the money and it’s not my kid. I told Stacey that I’ll only take him from 4 PM-8:30 PM, Monday, Wednesday and Friday. I’ll do a very occasional Saturday. It’ll be around $130 a month and they’ll be paying me weekly. She said it’s $30 a week no matter what unless I do more than that. This week I’ll get a bit more.

When Andy came back he said, “Remember your $150 debt with me? Well, that’s over now.” Now he’s paying me around $40 monthly to clean.

My food stamps will be about $111 whenever the hell they get here. The lady there is sending me a form to sign and I must send her a rent receipt and a copy of the electric bill. That was only $55 this month. I have a doctor’s appointment next Wednesday at 4:45 PM, and I’ll bring that phone form to him.

I’m no longer cleaning for Ellie as she’s a sorry, bitchy paranoid nut with a million problems. She goes on and on for hours complaining about this and that. She says she’s gonna die and that there are 5 organizations after her. She’s another one who goes back on her word and says I never said things I really did say. First, she swore she could afford to pay me $100 a month to clean for her and now she’s sorry she said that. Her son needs her money yet her son hates her and never comes to see her. She bitches and complains about how I clean and she’s always argumentative. One minute she’ll apologize for being a bitch, then she’s bitchy all over again.

Dave, the security guard and I were laughing about some of her delusions. The things she hears and sees. GI Joe, the physician, management putting petroleum through her vents to kill her like a cockroach along with those 5 organizations. She really is funny and you can have a field day playing with her head at the pool. You just wouldn’t want her at your apartment and you wouldn’t want to clean hers. Every so often I’ll go over to her place to play with her head.

I need to take my meds, eat and have some coffee. Maybe listen to music, too.

Later…

I’ve got to ask Andy to take me to the Metro Mall so I can buy more journals. I spoke to Kim who swears she’s sending me a blank journal she has, a letter and some blanks to make her funny tapes with. Edits, the complex argument, and other conversations with Bob and I.

She also says that next year she wants to travel across the country and she’ll see me when she does.

I guess Mark’s moving out but she’s not sure if she’s staying there on Elm St. She said she’ll let me know if she moves and I told her that I’ll mail her my number when I get a phone.

I still have other odds and ends I must buy. Like a pail for the kitchen, and I once saw a $14 electric typewriter at the thrift store that I’d like. As soon as I get money saved, I’m going shopping! If I got an electric typewriter, then Mom and Dad could keep my portable one and not bother to ship it. It isn’t the greatest typewriter. You have to really slam the keys down and my fingers always fall through the keys. Between them, I mean, and I cut my fingers. Electric ones have a closed keyboard.

I still haven’t contacted Jessie, Paula or Jai. I sent Jai a wacky letter and maybe I’ll write him a serious one, one of these days. Maybe try to get ahold of Jessie by calling her collect from Andy’s phone. She’ll accept the charges. I wonder if Steve moved and if he’s made any attempts to contact me. I’m sure Ann Marie has tried calling. Ha, ha to her! Bet she never thought I’d up and disappear and blow her off!

I am definitely no longer open to any new friendships whatsoever. I’ll keep Fay for now but I must stop being so friendly. If someone starts chatting with me at the pool, I’m just gonna be like yeah, yeah, yeah, till they get the message and screw off. People are so fucked in the head and I really do hate them. The same old pattern goes on where I’m either the dumper or the dumpee.

If I didn’t dump Ellie, she’d have stuck to me like glue forever. All I get are the metal cases while the so-called “better” people dump me. Same old shit. I keep to myself more and more cuz I’m tired of running around dumping people and getting dumped. Also, being dumped on by those that I dump or am dumped by. Rosemarie helped to continue to reinforce it in my head along with Donna and so many other queen snobs and mental cases.

Now for the Rosemarie story which is typical of what I get. Especially from a girl who’s gorgeous and has a good job. She works for some lawyer. She’s the ultimate attraction and she’s doing OK financially and emotionally as far as I can see on the surface. She’s the opposite of the Nervous, Fran and Ellie’s I get with no problem. She’s been steady with Rick but they do have their fights like every couple. I am not in the least bit shocked over what happened. I left off by saying how great my visits were at their place. They made me feel very accepted and welcomed. They said not to think they felt anything less about me cuz I’m gay. Their place was always open to me. They seemed so open and we laughed, joked and had nice talks. Rosemarie said don’t worry about other people being so snobby due to my getting SS. Oh, and she knows what I’m going through.

Does she? When has she ever gotten SS? She has a good job.

After two weeks went by where they seemed to be avoiding me, I caught Rosemarie alone at the pool. I walked up to her and said, “OK, what did I do?”

She said, “You didn’t do anything, but I’m not going to lie to you. We’re kind of religious and I thought about it and I decided I don’t want to have your type around.”

Can you believe how quickly people change? From white to black, instantly. And doesn’t religion teach people to accept everybody as they are? I’ve heard that they do, but then others say it bashes gays. Either way, what’s religion got to do with what we’re attracted to? It shouldn’t matter.

I pointed out that she said the direct opposite; that my gayness wasn’t a problem, and she said that she thought about it after I left.

I wondered if Rick may’ve influenced her. I always got the feeling that he was the type to boss her around.

I asked if we could talk about it and she said she’d rather not. At that point, I said what I had to say anyway. I said, “As far as I’m concerned, any prejudiced person is insecure with themselves. Why do you want people to be just like you? Can’t you be around different types of people? Why throw away good people over who they sleep with? And what’s religion have to do with who you’re sexually attracted to?”

I called her a lying, contradicting, backstabbing bitch and she was silent the whole time I spoke and never said another word. Then, Stephanie and her new roommate Harriett came into the pool as the other pool was closed. I’ll pick up the story from there another time. My hand is killing me.

THURSDAY, AUGUST 13, 1992 Now, I’m going to write about several things before I get very backed up again. I have several things to write about so I may jump from subject to subject as I remember things. Sometimes I find it’s better to write something right away before I forget.

The major topics are Ellie, Rosemarie, Fay and babysitting.

Then there are little things like Ray, the parole officer. He’s going on vacation now for two weeks and he’ll drop by when he returns.

Yesterday I had my unexpected phone interview with a lady at food stamps. Just when I was about to give up after being jerked around for 3 months the notice came in the mail. Know why it took so long? It had been returned to them for postage. That’s welfare for you!

I still have lots of editing and editing down to do. Also, letter writing, and coloring the poster Fay gave me.

I got a couple of packages from Mom and Dad. The other two chairs to my table which are out on my patio, more tanning oil, lotion, napkins, toilet paper, paper towels, baggies, garbage bags, a nice shirt with a floral pattern that fit perfectly, and some coupons. There were 3 small notepads with Barbie on the cover.

Also, a bag with a glob of hair in which Dad taped a note saying, Jodi, I got a haircut, Dad.

I know it’s not his hair cuz this hair was brown. If it was his hair, he’d be bald due to the amount that was there. It’s cute anyway and when I get my hair trimmed, now that I can afford to have Velma trim it, I’ll send some their way.

I got a $10 bill along with Dad’s letter today.

The evening of the 11th I called Florida collect from Andy’s phone while he was out at bingo. I spoke to Mom, Dad and Tammy. The girls and Bill, who I don’t miss, were staying in someone else’s place. I could’ve spoken to the girls, but I’ll write to them.

Tammy said she and Lisa sent out a letter before they left, but I never got it.

Tammy originally told me she left on the 1st. Before, she thought she’d be around during Andy’s week at the beach and she was gonna join him there. Dad said in his letter she was to arrive on the 10th so obviously, she was afraid to tell me. Maybe she decided she didn’t want to visit Andy and thinks I’ll be upset knowing she was there when he was. As you know I wrote in a previous entry how glad I was they wouldn’t get together so they wouldn’t talk too much when I wouldn’t be around to defend myself. If she had really left on the 1st and mailed me a letter before going to Florida, I’d have gotten it by now. If she left on the 10th and mailed it the day before, I should get it tomorrow or the next day.

If everything I just wrote is true and is really what happened, and I do believe I’m right on the money, Tammy will be shocked. I’ll catch her off guard and she’ll be like, gee, how’d she figure all this out? Maybe she is too smart to fool.

TUESDAY, AUGUST 11, 1992 Tonight Reasonable Doubts will be on. Thank God the Olympics are over. Of course, it’s a repeat but Marlee Matlin’s worth it. Someone will surely knock on my door but I won’t answer it. Ellie, Fay or Mark next door will knock. Mark and his friends get drunk and stoned and have nothing to discuss but sex. I’m getting really sick of it, too.

Guess what I found on my door while I was out last week? A card from Ray M, a parole officer. I called the number and asked why I was on parole when I’ve never been to prison. I’m on probation, not parole, but I guess that cuz I came from another state, this is how they do it. Maybe I’ll call his office tomorrow. Or maybe he’ll come here.

Andy had a great week back home. He enjoyed the beach and his cottage after so many years. He saw the M's and Charlotte. Supposedly the M's are friends with his family, and Andy’s aunt Joyce got permission to park in the M's driveway. Then someone supposedly overheard Charlotte saying, “Let’s get this car towed.”

Why? After so many years, I wouldn’t even bother starting shit like that. Why can’t people let dead dogs lie? I never realized Charlotte was that vindictive and was such a grudge-holder. I’ve also been told my folks and Charlotte and Jim had some kind of falling out a few years back and are no longer buddies. What else is new? No friendships seem to last any more than relationships. Is this why they live 90 miles away from each other? Aunt Ruth and Uncle Marty live an hour away, too.

Andy told Char how I love it here and have met lots of people. He said she said that’s good as she heard I had a hard time in CT.

Yeah, I’m sure you did, Char! I’m sure you heard all about it and so much more, thanks to Dureen’s big mouth.

Well, I always knew I was the most talked-about member of my family. That is, regardless of how much is true, blown out of proportion, or total bullshit.

Andy’s friend Brian thought of a great name for Connecticut. We’re so shocked we never thought of it - Connecticunt. When I first met Nervous he told me two great names. Ofelia Cunt and Ivan Cutchacokoff.

During Andy’s trip back east, Nervous and I had a great talk. The best chats we’ve ever had and I fully believe he’ll come visit me someday when he’s got the money and time off from work. He’d come out to visit me long before he’d write a letter. I’ve gotten no letters from anyone. Not my nieces, Tammy, Kim, Bob, Fran or my folks.

I spoke to Fran and Bob, but I wonder if Tammy’s heard anything about Barbara and Debbie’s collect calls? Oh well. Neither of them has yet to get letters from me. I’d like to wait a while till they think I’m long gone out of their lives. Their letters, of course, will have no threats or anything sexual. They just won’t make much sense and will be very confusing.

I have the talks with Nervous and tons of stuff on tape which I gotta edit and edit down. Even Fay spoke to Nervous. First I must edit before I edit down. If you take a 20-minute conversation and the first 10 minutes are boring and erase it, you could be throwing away a few good edits, at least. This is why I edit, then edit down, omitting any boring parts.

MONDAY, AUGUST 10, 1992 A lot has happened in the last 10 days. Both good and not-so-good. I still feel so much happier than I ever have in eons, so that’s worth a lot to me.

Believe it or not, I am now babysitting an 11-month-old boy named Justin. So far he is very well-behaved. Totally the opposite of my niece Sarah who was always crying and fussy. Justin is quite calm and has not cried or broken anything. Right now he is drinking his bottle and I’ve got CDs playing.

Andy came over earlier and he’s gone to the store now to get a few things for both of us.

The food stamps are history and even though I know I’m eligible and by law, they can’t deny me, they have by jerking me around and playing with my head. I filled out a second application and they were supposed to call me with an appointment and they never did. Then, they went ahead and told me they’d send a phone appointment in the mail to do an interview over the phone. That was bullshit, too. If they were gonna give me food stamps they’d have given me them by now. Anything they say, I don’t buy, as they’ve lied to me only about 10 times. They say one thing and then another. They bullshit me by saying they misplaced my application and all kinds of things like that.

I had put ads up in the laundry rooms letting people know I was available for housekeeping and babysitting. Justin lives with his mother, Stacey, who doesn’t live here. Her sister Kara does, though, with her own 8-month-old daughter, Ashley, and their mother. I guess Monday, Wednesday, and Friday from 2:00-8:00, I’ll be babysitting and possibly Saturdays, too. I could be making $130 a month and $160 if I babysit on a Saturday.

I’m hungry, so I wish Andy would hurry up and get here.

Last night I left an old letter from Bob on Mark’s door. I wonder if I’ll hear about that. Of course, I’ll be playing dumb and trying not to laugh if I do.

I have several other things to write about later about Rosemarie, Fay and Ellie.

Later…

Justin slept from 5:00-6:30. When he awoke he was crying and still is. So much for this being a peaceful kid. Stacey should be here in half an hour and boy, I can’t wait to hit the pool!

I’ve got to do Ellie’s laundry tonight and mine, too.

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simp4bwayladies · 4 years ago

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Helene: I was born for politics. I have great hair and I love lying.

#incorrect great comet quote #HELENE FOR PRESIDENT #source: brooklyn 99 #I’m just gonna keep posting these every so often till they’re all out of my drafts 😅#source: b99 #great comet #helene kuragina

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ladyartemesia · 3 years ago

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TEASER: Kim Seokjin and the Mean Omega

Pairing: Nerd Alpha Kim Seokjin x Popular Omega Reader

Genre: A/B/O • Enemies to Lovers • (Sorta) College AU • Best Friend's Brother AU (Who is surprised? No one?)

Teaser Word Count: 3.6K

Teaser Warnings: A/B/O sexual dynamics • suggestive content

Rating: Explicit (18+) (Teaser is PG-13)

Summary: In the modern world, alphas are almost unheard of so why even bother learning about them? After all, as a spoiled (but reasonably kind-hearted) omega who is used to getting whatever she wants, you have better things to do. However, when unexpected circumstances throw you in the path of (extremely) nerdy and (probably?) shy Kim Seokjin, you're shocked to discover that he won't be wrapped around your little finger as easily as all the rest. Bringing that infuriating geek to his knees quickly becomes your personal mission in life... But it turns out that Kim Seokjin is not what he appears to be and the mean omega who eats beta boys for breakfast is about to get way more than she bargained for...

Author’s Note: This story would not be here without the love, support and friendship of my incredible support system. You talk with me, you laugh with me, you listen when I’m crying, and you read my chaotic drafts when I am ready to pull my hair out of my head in frustration. I love you all. @ppersonna @xjoonchildx @untaemedqueen @lemonjoonah. ALSO thank you to each and every one of you who encouraged me to post this story. This fic is dedicated to all of you as a token of my love and appreciation. Your support keeps me writing. Never doubt that for a second.

“...due to discriminatory anti-alpha policies in the late nineteenth and early twentieth century, alphas were nearly eliminated from the general population…”

You heaved a weary sigh and rolled your shoulders—stretching the buttons of your high-end Oxford shirt to their limit. The beta sophomore to your right whined audibly and you smirked.

“...despite efforts to restore the genetic balance of designations, alphas currently comprise less than one percent of the population…”

Your back arched slightly as you crossed your legs, letting the absurdly short hem of your skirt ride up even higher. The poor boy you were tormenting shifted miserably in his seat.

How was he supposed to focus on a Human Biology and Designation Studies lecture when the living breathing embodiment of every sweaty undergrad’s fantasies was twisting her fingers in her hair and wrapping her pretty pink tongue around a strawberry lollipop right there in the middle of class?

“...unlike betas and omegas, alphas possess enhanced strength and the ability to compel other designations with their voice. Unmated alphas especially were often baselessly feared and distrusted...”

You knew exactly how you affected boys like him. You were a shameless tease who relished their attention and the power it brought you. Who needed drugs when driving a man mad with desire was a rush more potent than any high?

“...and that’s all for today so please read pages 450-466 in the text over break and remember to turn in your essay on scent and consent in intimacy—”

That poor sophomore looked like he had finally worked up the courage to speak to you, but you were already out the door and tearing down the hall toward your beautiful (and entirely platonic) counterpart, Kim Taehyung.

“Do you think Professor Moore is unaware that class is over at 3:25 or is he just torturing us for science?”

Taehyung shrugged, falling into step beside you with practiced ease.

“I mean I would torture you for free so it’s hard to say.”

The corner of your mouth quirked up at his characteristic dry humor, but the irritation at being held in that sweltering lecture hall for an extra ten minutes had frayed your temper.

“It’s the last class before spring break, I’m sure he was on some sort of twisted power trip.” You dug around in your purse for some chapstick, ignoring Tae’s amused snorting, “Alphas barely exist anymore and none of us are likely to meet one. Why bother learning what they can do?”

Taehyung tilted his head in amusement.

“You might be surprised.”

The final party before the beginning of spring break was always a laid back affair.

Many people had already caught planes to their various destinations, but your flight was scheduled for early tomorrow morning—leaving you with some time to kill.

Taehyung pressed his newest experimental concoction into your hand within minutes of entering the house (a surprisingly neat bachelor pad owned by two seniors, Jung Hoseok and Min Yoongi) and then darted back to the kitchen to craft more questionable alcohol potions like a deranged party warlock.

You had just found a comfortable place on the couch and were contemplating whether sampling your best friend’s mad scientist elixir would be worth the probable damage to your body when—

“H-Hello...”

It was that sophomore from your Designations Studies class. What was his name again? Jungwoo? Jinwook?

“Jungkook,” you smiled, delighted to have remembered before it became awkward. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

You motioned to the empty cushion next to you and the man in question scrambled over like he’d won the lottery.

“I—I know we don’t know each other well, but I noticed you were absent during Professor Moore’s lecture on intimacy and scent consent so I—” he blushed deeply, “I wrote the essay for you—and I brought a copy on my flash drive if-if you want it.”

Your heart melted immediately.

“Oh my gosh Jungkook, that is so sweet of you!”

Your gaze darted over his muscular form and thick brown curls.

Sweet indeed.

“I don’t want to miss out on the learning though,” you pouted, placing a hand on his tattooed bicep. “Can you explain it to me?”

Jungkook nodded vigorously even as his wide eyes fell to where your fingers were sliding slowly over his chest.

Scent consent was a pretty basic and universally known concept, but you really were touched by the handsome sophomore's consideration.

Why not give him (and yourself) a little reward?

“Um so basically if two people are involved in...intimate activities—”

You leaned forward to nip his ear lightly and he whimpered.

“Like this?” you asked innocently.

“Y-Yes. Like that.” He gulped. “In an intimate situation consent or refusal can be smelled. The scent of refusal or reluctance in intimacy is strong, unmistakable, and has a high chemical potency.”

“Is that so?” you drawled, sliding over onto his lap. Jungkook’s eyes rolled back into his head and you bit back a grin.

He was adorable.

“Uh-huh—it—oh my gawd,” (you were nibbling on his ear again) “it can immediately block sexual arousal and performance in the other partner. Meaning, if consent is not present, then it becomes difficult or—ahh” (his voice began to waver under your continued attention) “—or even impossible to continue with intimate acts.”

Your hand slid up to his cheek, bringing him closer till your lips were almost touching.

“Then what does it mean if I’m still so turned on right now?”

“It means,” Jungkook shuddered—nearly delirious with your scent, “that I really really want you.”

Across the room, Park Jimin chuckled as he watched you seduce his enthusiastic friend.

Jeon Jungkook was such a sweet kid.

Hopefully he wouldn’t get too attached.

“Wow... Some people are genuinely born blessed I suppose.”

Jimin turned to see Jung Hoseok eyeing the dimly lit corner where you and the eager young sophomore were exploring each other.

It was a rather...provocative spectacle. Not quite raunchy (you weren’t truly an exhibitionist)—just insanely sexy.

Jimin’s gaze lingered on the smooth curve of your thigh where Jeon Jungkook was currently holding on for dear life.

Lucky bastard.

“Ah you know how she is,” he sighed. “That boy isn’t going to get any farther than anyone else.”

It was relatively common knowledge that you liked to mess around but rarely—if ever— fully hooked up with anyone.

Jimin asked you about it once during a drunken game of truth or dare and you had just shrugged, mumbling something along the lines of avoiding STDs (which—to be fair—was at least part of your motivation), but the truth was a little more complicated than that.

In terms of experience, you weren’t a virgin, but... you hadn’t actually had sex in years.

You loved the chase, the foreplay, the build-up—the game of cat-and-mouse between two people who were attracted to one another.

But the final consummation was always so…

Wildly unfulfilling.

Every encounter left you frustrated. Empty.

Grumpy—even.

So you stopped bothering with it all together. (That was what sex toys were for after all.)

At the end of the day you were perfectly content being labeled a tease—it meant that people tended to know what they were (or rather weren’t) getting into when they rolled the dice with you.

Besides…it hadn’t even put a dent in your throng of admirers.

You were sunny, spoiled, indulgent, almost universally adored—

And you loved every minute of it.

“You know…” Hoseok took a long sip of his drink. “I always thought she would end up with Taehyung, but it’s been three years.”

Like you, Kim Taehyung was a trust fund brat and it was only natural that two beautiful and absurdly privileged people would gravitate to one another. You met at a freshman pledge party and had been an inseparable (and formidable) dynamic duo ever since.

The undisputed king and queen of campus.

Yes—maybe the two of you were a little self-absorbed at times, but it was hardly your fault that people tended to instinctively cater to the force of your combined looks, wealth, and charisma.

And it didn’t hurt that neither of you were ever intentionally cruel or unkind.

Just... habitually thoughtless.

(Though not when it came to each other. If anything your friendship was one area where you were both a little more human.)

Jimin shook his head.

“Nah that’s never gonna happen.” He tapped his nose. “They’re scent-crossed.”

Hoseok’s eyes widened.

“Really?”

Scent-crossed pairs didn’t smell sexually attractive to each other.

Like. At all.

No matter how physically or visually appealing an individual might be, it would be near impossible to form a sexual or romantic attachment to them if you were scent-crossed. Alphas, betas, and omegas were all subject to their noses first and foremost in the realm of attraction.

You and Taehyung smelled like comfort and home to one another...

But you were more turned on by a crisp cup of apple juice than you were his scent and the feeling was quite mutual.

He might as well have been your actual brother.

“That explains so much.” Hoseok snorted as he watched a drunken Taehyung do a flying leap on top of both you and Jungkook.

“Why is sunlight so offensive?” you croaked, dragging yourself and your luggage toward the boarding ramp next to an equally miserable Taehyung.

“The next time I book a flight before 9 AM, please shoot me,” he grunted.

Your parents were celebrating their twenty-fifth wedding anniversary with a month-long European cruise so your best friend had graciously invited you to spend two glorious weeks of spring vacation at his family estate.

The invitation had actually come as somewhat of a surprise because—for all your closeness—Taehyung was uncharacteristically tight-lipped about his family.

Not that he was deliberately withholding information per se… It was just that he never really brought them up beyond an occasional passing comment.

The one time you did ask him about them directly he sighed and said—

“We’re very close, but… I suppose we’ve just gotten used to being very private.”

There was clearly more to the story, but you were confident that Tae would share it if and when he was ready.

“My parents are in Seoul opening a new branch of the company. They took my little sister with them and my older brother has his own house so it will be just us.” He snuggled deeper into the first class seat directly next to yours. “We’ll hang out by the pool and chill during the day, then hit up some of the new clubs or whatever at night.”

“So… No one from your family will be there?”

Perhaps the invitation was not so surprising after all.

“Nope. Just you and me and thirty acres of ocean front property.”

You grinned.

“Perfect.”

“Whose room is that?”

The two of you were lugging your bags down the main hall of Taehyung’s expansive mansion when a strange hint of...something caught you right by the nose.

Your friend turned to find you frozen and staring curiously at a familiar door near the balcony.

His eyes widened, but you were too preoccupied to notice his momentary concern.

“That’s just Jin’s room.”

A firm hand wrapped around your wrist and dragged you away, but your eyes stayed glued to the source of the mysterious scent until you were around the corner and out of sight.

Your suite for the next two weeks was right across the hall from Taehyung’s. There was a whirlpool, a full bath, a balcony, and an ocean view that would rival the cover spread of any travel magazine.

Tae headed for the shower (to ‘wash the airplane off’) immediately after showing you the room and you were thinking of doing the same except…

Your mind kept going back to that door and the hint of scent you detected.

There was something… different about it.

It was faint—and far from fresh (which made sense considering that one of the few things you did know about Kim Seokjin was that he hadn’t lived in this house for years).

But still…

The need to smell it again pressed insistently at the back of your mind.

Suddenly the sound of Taehyung singing raunchy lyrics in the shower carried over through the walls and you found your feet moving almost of their own accord.

What Tae doesn’t know won’t hurt him, you rationalized, making your way down the hall toward Jin’s door. Besides—it’s not as if I’m going to steal anything…

You just needed to find that scent again.

By the time your fingers closed over the knob every one of your nerves was strangely—acutely—alert but nothing could have prepared you for what was waiting behind the door.

Oh. My. Gosh.

“What a colossal nerd.”

The room was covered floor to ceiling in Nintendo memorabilia.

Bright primary colors assaulted your eyes from all directions in the form of action figures, posters, pillows, and every other conceivable merch variety known to man.

In the center of the suite stood a large king-sized bed covered in a custom black couture toile-style Mario-verse bed set (that looked every bit as expensive as it was geeky) and a mountain of high quality Nintendo character plush toys.

Everything was simultaneously luxe and nostalgic—a rare combination of sophisticated aesthetic balance and childlike indulgence.

And the scent was there.

It was faint and covered under layers of cleaner and air fresheners, but still lingering just below the surface—too weak for you to get a really good whiff, yet potent enough to torment you.

You moved forward unconsciously toward the strongest source of the hypnotic smell—the strangely inviting expanse of Kim Seokjin’s mattress.

Suddenly the urge to climb—no crawl—across the bed itself and roll around in it like a kitten in catnip gripped you out of nowhere.

“What the hell?” you muttered, rubbing absently over the mating gland at the base of your neck.

Something very odd was going on with your body.

Your restless gaze zeroed in on one of the stuffed toys piled atop his pillows. It was a cute little mushroom man your brain recognized as a Mario character named ‘Toad’.

Take it.

Your mouth dropped open in shock.

You need it.

“Am I going insane?” you wondered aloud.

You have to take it.

Muscles in your hand began to twitch involuntarily. You bit your lip.

Bring it back with you.

Several minutes later a freshly washed Taehyung wandered over to your room and found you sitting perfectly still on your bed while staring off into space.

His head tilted in curious concern.

“Everything ok?”

You started a bit at the sound of his voice, but recovered quickly.

“Never better!” you chirped—almost too brightly. “Let’s go get some dinner, I’m starving.”

Then you grabbed his hand and pulled him down the hall toward the kitchen—shutting the door before he could catch a glimpse of his brother’s stuffed Toad doll stashed underneath your pillow

“...a critical water main rupture in the city’s New Market district early this morning has forced several residents out of their homes as flood water swelled up to nearly two feet. The governor declared a state of emergency and ordered hotels around the city to accommodate the displaced citizens. Crews are still clearing the water and assessing damages. We expect—

“Hey!” you shouted through a mouthful of cereal, after Your best friend switched off the television, “I was watching that!”

“And what you should be doing is getting ready for the pool.” Tae snatched your cereal bowl and dragged you by your shirt collar toward the stairs. “It is the first morning of our vacation. I’m not trying to waste any time. Now go.” He shoved you forward, smacking your ass for good measure.

You swatted back at him half-heartedly as jogged back up to the room where you enjoyed a surprisingly restful sleep last night.

Kim Seokjin’s door glared at you accusingly as you shuffled past—unable to let you forget that you had kidnapped it’s little mushroom man in an unexplained fit of kleptomania, but that was a problem for your future self.

The you of right now was going to zen out in the Kim family's premium glass-enclosed indoor pool (it was still a little chilly for the outdoor pool) with her best friend and bask in the simple joys of good company and no responsibility.

...Or not.

A few minutes later you bounced into the living room wearing a simple black tankini with a cute floral cover only to find Taehyung on the phone with his head in his hands.

“Yes, sir. I understand… I...I know this is my responsibility...”

That didn’t sound good.

After a few more tense moments, Tae hung up and collapsed backward into the couch with a heavy sigh.

“That water main break you heard about on TV this morning was the last straw between the province and its current contractor. They called an emergency meeting for new bids.”

Your heart dropped as you sank down beside him.

“Your dad wants you to go...doesn’t he.”

Taehyung nodded miserably.

“He can’t leave the Seoul opening on such short notice and managing government construction contracts is part of what I’ve been training for. This could be huge for our company.”

“Well...why doesn’t your brother go?”

“Jin is the brains behind most of our patented gaming and tech innovations. He wouldn’t even know where to begin with this sort of thing. Besides,” his lips quirked up in a rueful grin, “my brother doesn’t have the patience to stroke entitled geriatric egos for hours on end—which is likely what I’m going to have to do.”

The two of you headed back to Taehyung’s room where you helped him pack some suits and toiletries for his trip.

Naturally you were disappointed but...this was a great opportunity for your best friend to prove himself in his chosen field and you both knew it. In fact, he was already starting to brighten a bit.

“The meeting is about a hundred miles north of here. My dad’s secretary already handled the flight and hotel room.” His eyes darted around the suite to see if he was forgetting anything.

It was clear he was nervous, though you were sure he didn’t need to be. Kim Taehyung was a trust fund brat, but he was also talented and deeply passionate about his family’s company.

Someday this would be the norm. The two of you were stealing time in college, determined to live a little before the expectations of your powerful families transferred fully onto your shoulders.

It was becoming more and more clear, however, that your carefree time was slowly running out.

Mother had already spoken to you about potential marriage alliances and your father expected you to intern with his Vice President this summer just as your elder sister had...

Taehyung’s voice suddenly interrupted your bittersweet introspection and you couldn’t help but smile at how grown-up he looked in his suit and briefcase ensemble.

Everything was going to change, but not quite yet.

“They estimate negotiations should take around a week or so…” He walked over and pulled you into a tight hug. “There should still be some vacation left for us when I get back.”

“Hurry back then,” you mumbled grumpily into his chest and he chuckled.

“I will.”

Taehyung had been gone for less than twenty minutes when you decided that the best use of your time would be to eat more snacks.

The last thing you expected when you skipped merrily into the kitchen was to find it occupied by a shaggy-haired homeless man in glasses.

Your first instinct was to scream which caused the homeless man to drop the apple he was biting right onto the floor where it rolled around for a small eternity before coming to rest at his ankles.

Your second instinct was to grab a butcher’s cleaver from the nearby knife block and wave it chaotically at the intruder while shouting something along the lines of—

“You’ve made a huge mistake! My boyfriend is the biggest, meanest mafia boss in Seoul! Leave now and he might let you live!”

The homeless man continued to stare at you with a mixture of confusion and shock, but made no move to run away in terror like you were hoping.

So you tried again.

“Didn’t you hear what I said?! The last man who touched me drinks his steak through a straw now! Do the smart thing and leave before my boyfriend comes down those stairs and it’s too late!”

Infuriatingly, the homeless man was still not fleeing for his life and frankly you were starting to get frustrated. You drew in a deep cleansing breath and were prepared to issue another grandiose threat when he finally spoke.

“I’m sorry, miss. I... think there’s been some sort of mistake. Who is your boyfriend?”

There was no rational explanation for what came out of your mouth next, but it rolled off your tongue so smoothly and you didn’t even flinch.

“Kim Seokjin.”

For the first time in your entire exchange, the intruder looked truly alarmed.

Now that’s more like it.

“You’ve heard of him I see. He’s a dangerous man and my body belongs to him.” You slammed the cleaver down onto the countertop with a (hopefully) menacing slash. “Kim Seokjin doesn’t like when other men put their hands on what belongs to him.”

There was a long, unpardonably tense moment of silence…Then the stranger slowly reached forward and picked up a mobile phone from the table in front of him.

His eyes remained locked with yours as he pressed a quick series of buttons, brought the phone to his ear, waited a few seconds and said—

“Taehyung… Would you mind telling me why there is a half-naked, knife-wielding omega in our kitchen claiming to be my girlfriend?”

Hello! Please comment on this post if you would like to be added to the taglist!

You guys were all so wonderful, and encouraging, and excited that I literally got this teaser out in three days! If you like what you read so far, please let me know! I cannot put into words how meaningful and valuable feedback is to me. I truly treasure it! It fuels my creativity and keeps me writing. I would love to hear from you!

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storiesforallfandoms · 3 years ago

Text

sweethearts ~ devon bostick

word count: 1446

request?: yes!

“I’m not sure if you do this but can you do a Devon Bostick imagine where they met on the set of Diary of a Wimpy Kid and they’re still together till this day? Possibly like them being asked about their relationship in a interview or something. Thank you so so much :))”

description: in which they’re teenage sweethearts, and everyone finds this fact absolutely adorable

pairing: devon bostick x female!reader

warnings: swearing

masterlist (one, two)

Landing the role of Jessie Jones in the first Diary of a Wimpy Kid movie was a massive deal for me for many reasons. First, it was my first starring role - I was playing a family friend of the Heffley’s and would be featured heavily in the movie. Then there was the fact that this was a movie adaptation of a very popular book series, a series that I had also been into at the time.

Walking onto set that first day I was shaking with nervousness. There were so many people - cast and crew - and they all looked so professional and used to a film set. I felt so out of place and I wondered if I should’ve been there.

“Hey!”

I looked up to see a boy around my age approaching me. I tried to swallow my nerves, but I found them just becoming heavier with someone actually talking to me.

“Are you our Jessie?” he asked.

I nodded. “Yeah, that’s me. I’m (Y/N).”

“Devon, I’m playing Rodrick.” He shook my hand. “It’s nice to meet you.”

“Yeah, you too.”

I felt so awkward and I was so sure Devon could feel that. I just wanted to melt into a puddle on the ground and have the awkwardness be over with.

“Have you been to costume and makeup yet?” he asked. I shook my head. “Well, I have to go to costume now, I can show you where it is.”

I sighed with relief. “That would be great.”

“Follow me.”

He led me from the set to the group of trailers outside. I tried to peer at the signs on the trailer doors to see what they were, but we were walking so quickly I didn’t really have time.

“Is this your first movie?” Devon asked.

“Kind of,” I said. “I’ve had mainly small roles or background work. What about you?”

“A few bigger roles. I’m in the Saw movie that’s coming out this year, actually.”

“That’s awesome! Although I am a massive pussy so I think I’d skip on that one.”

Devon laughed. “I don’t blame you. They’re scary movies. I don’t even know if I’m allowed to watch the movie.”

Our conversation was interrupted when we arrived to the costume trailer. We were both whisked away to get ready. I didn’t see Devon for nearly an hour, but by the time we reunited we were preparing for the first scene of the day.

It didn’t take long for me to lose my nerves. Within a few minutes of shooting I got into the character and almost forgot about the cameras and the crew watching me. At the end of the day I didn’t even want to go home, I just wanted to keep filming.

Devon found me as I was waiting for my ride home. “Hey, great job today rookie.”

I chuckled. “Thanks. It helps to have such great castmates.”

“You seem pretty professional as is, but maybe we could hang out and run lines for tomorrow’s shoot. If...if you want?”

He seemed so shy and awkward, the exact opposite of how he had been all day. It was kind of cute...okay, really cute.

“That’d be great actually,” I said. “Where did you have in mind?”

“There’s a fast food place not too far from here. We could walk there.”

“Sounds good. Lead the way!”

~~~~~~

10 Years Later

My giant husky, Heimdall, came bounding into the room and onto my lap as I was talking to the talk show host on my laptop. I let out a groan as I felt the air being knocked out of me.

“Well, this is a pleasant surprise,” the talk show host chuckled.

“For you maybe,” I joked. “I don’t quite enjoy my big dog thinking he’s still a puppy or a lap dog, but I can’t really pretend like this is something new for him.”

Heimdall licked at my face as I scratched his head. Devon appeared in the doorway moments later, a guilty look on his face as he tried not to be too much on camera.

“Sorry, I didn’t realize the door was open,” he said.

“It’s okay,” I said to him.

Devon whistled for Heimdall to follow him out of the room, which led to the giant dog digging his paws into my stomach as he jumped off of me. I groaned again, playfully glaring after him as he trotted out the door.

“Interesting interlude there,” the host teased. “Was that Devon Bostick we heard in the background there?”

“It was indeed. He took Heimdall out for his daily walk while I’m in the interview. I’ll likely get tackled by the big brute again when I leave the room.”

“How often do the two of you get asked about Diary of a Wimpy Kid and your relationship starting there?”

“Not as often anymore. It’s been nearly 10 years since we started dating and eight since the last movie in the trilogy, which I wasn’t really in. I’ve been asked every now and then about it, but not as often as you would think.”

“Pardon my brief gushing, I just think the two of you are adorable. I mean, you were both teenagers when you met on set and started dating shortly after, and you’re still together all these years later! Most high school sweethearts don’t make it this long as it is, let alone being in the public eye for basically your entire relationship.”

“Well that’s the thing, we haven’t really been in the public eye all that often. We kept pretty lowkey when we first started dating, which wasn’t hard cause neither one of us was all that famous. Once our careers got bigger and we started getting noticed we had basically figured out how to hide from paparazzi and cameras and all. We don’t post about each other on social media all that much either, just a picture every now and again. We’re not sharing our day by day lives with the world basically, which I think is the best way to keep a relationship private and to navigate through being two celebrities dating.”

It had worked thus far in mine and Devon’s relationship. Even after confirming that we were dating just before the release of Rodrick Rules, neither one of us posted the other on social media at all. It wasn’t until the first set of breakup rumors started swirling that we decided to make tiny posts about each other when we felt like it, which was mainly on birthdays and holidays really.

Although, even if we were super public with our relationship, I didn’t think anything would pull us apart. As cheesy as it is to say, I did think Devon was my soulmate. We clicked so quickly after that first time hanging out (which we decided had been our first date years later), and I had never felt so confident that I was meant to be with someone. I wasn’t surprised that we were still together all these years later.

I continued with my interview for a while more before saying goodbye to the talk show host and leaving the video call. I sighed and stretched my back out, feeling the tensed muscles from sitting for so long popping. As I expected, the moment I opened the door, Heimdall came running for me.

“One of these days you’ll realize you’re not such a small dog anymore,” I told him, kneeling down to pet him. He licked at my face in response, which I figured meant he would never realize that.

“Did we derail the interview too much?” Devon asked, coming to join me on the floor.

I shook my head. “Not much. We talked about our relationship a little bit, but we moved on almost immediately after that.”

Devon smiled. “Yeah? What were you talking about?”

“Oh, the usual: meeting on set, keeping our relationship lowkey, when you’re gonna put a ring on it.”

He gave me a playful look. “You say that as if you’re not the one who said you’re more than okay with just being common law married until we’re 30.”

I nudged him. “Yeah, whatever. Let’s go take this oversized baby and watch some movies downstairs.”

Devon nodded and leaned forward. I gave him a quick kiss before pulling away and shoving the massive dog towards him. While he was incapacitated, I took the opportunity to run down the stairs. Heimdall was to his feel and chasing after me, Devon following closely on his tail.

I couldn’t imagine a better life than this, with my teenaged sweetheart and our fur baby. The perfect happily ever after if you asked me.

#Devon Bostick #devon bostick imagine #devon bostick x reader #imagine #one shot #request #fanfiction #fanfic #fandom

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defectivefanboy · 3 years ago

Text

meet my standards... as head canons

this is basically just school head canons I have for characters, as well as a way to give my friends context on some characters, cause I don't wanna answer their questions. [everything I do now is for their approval /hj]

C/W: me cursing, spoilers maybe? basically all the mf I simp for, don't mind the title, smoking/alcohol.

venti

this the mother fucker in school that be singing at the bottom of the stair well because of the “acoustics are really good”

also in the bathroom

and in the back of class

lowkey the where my hug motherfucker but he does it in like the ‘I'm not gonna ask but imma stare at you till I get it’

comes to class but goes to the bathroom for half an hour

tried joining all of the clubs but wasn't allowed too

and the ones he did get into he barely goes

flirts to get class work

“its not like I'm failing I just wanna make sure I'm right”

cant shut the fuck up in class

always in the counselors office

doesn't like to smoke often because he coughs too much after sometimes

will be drinking every weekend though

if he can

he’s broke

though he somehow can get anything you need

a bottle?

got you

a dime?

no need he already has it

idk either man

scaramouche

bratty pretty boy

has all my love

he tries to act like he doesn't care about the work, but secretly does all the work before a week before class

only sits in the back or by a window

tried to be student council president but he cursed out the other electives during the speeches

no longer allowed in clubs because of that

always has a headache

tries to bring pills, but since the school searched him after he threatened a kid he wasn't allowed too no more.

if you give him medicine for them, good luck trying to get rid of him

short scary dog

if someone says something stupid in his opinion, he’ll speak up which leads to

always getting sent to the counselors office

just shut your mouth boy

will not, and will never admit that he smokes tree

but if you do get close to him friendship wise

there will be times you smell it on him under his cologne

if you have it on you

it becomes an enteral debate.

“you tell anyone and you're dead”

kaeya

the where my hug at mother fucker

everyday

every class

goes into your class too

somehow knows the teacher????

never in class

ever

sometimes if he likes the teacher

also cant shut the fuck up if hes in class

clubs?

oh like night clubs?

THERES A SCHOOL CLUB?!?!

no.

all the girls and gays def know him

the straight males don’t know how to feel

always with venti in the counselors office

“i mean its a party ain’t it? I'm supposed to have fun”

the one who gets venti to smoke some nights

but he’s considerate about not pushing it

will be drinking as well though too

always has something with him

a bottle

joint

both

just these two are dangerous

xiao

they're playing my chemical romance

you know I'm scared of emos

edgiest mother fucker there is

trauma dump?

no his the trauma dump itself

there's so much shit in there

fucking truck loads

always in class but never seen after

mother fuckers so pale the possibility that he is a ghost is high

doesn't like clubs, but he joined student council and has a pretty good memory with remembering contracts, forms and people.

he also never talks to who knows

might join a few clubs but only if they are quiet and keep to themselves

only in the counselor office when he needs to be or gets called in.

will only smoke tree in the comforts of his room or in the middle of the woods

will smoke cigs anywhere though

BECAUSE HES A FA-

anyways

doesnt like to drink because he doesn't like the taste

also another short scary dog

xingqiu

I post so much about this man I cant forget about him

he’s just in the library if he’s not in class

or in a café

or the roof

or a tree

honest to god anywhere reading a book or writing somewhere

would def write smut in school and class it class work

he’s also council president

even though he is constantly pulling pranks

never gets caught so that explains it

def has a boyfriend

if your friends with him he’ll get you out of class

only bc the teachers can ONLY understand his name among his chicken scratch of handwriting

cant shut the fuck up in class also

fucking blabber mouthes

he over looks some clubs so he doesn't have time to be a part of them

but he does hop around to each one to spent a few moments there

though has time for the occult club

cheeky bastard-

only really talks with the counselor when it evolves council related

depends on how he’s feeling

rarely smokes but the smell sticks to you like a mother fucker

drinking? maybe

again depends on if he has work to do

chongyun

oh look his boyfriend

hey guess what

he’s vice president

what a surprise

though he pulls xingqiu to class

bc another shocker

they have the same classes

works most of the time

pretty quiet in class

but if he ask a question he goes on a lengthy ramble

he stops when xingqiu stops him though

he has his own club

its an occult club

xingqiu gave them their own room

and the books

and the supplies

just wants popsicles

oh an has a mini fridge and freezer

mans stacked in there

really welcoming to everyone

anyone can join

lowkey just becomes the gays and witches. and gay witches

rambles to the counselor whenever he’s with xingqiu

“drinking? what?”

“what do you want me to drink?”

“im not sure i understand.”

same thing with smoking

too pure for his own good

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fangroyal · 3 years ago

Note

#3 What is that one scene that you’ve always wanted to write but can’t be arsed to write all of the set-up and context it would need? (consider this permission to write it and/or share it anyway)

Fun Meta Asks for Writers

Adding the link to the ask game at the start this time, 'cause this is gonna be a long one, y'all. 😂

Where do I even begin? First of all, @angie-leena, thank you so SO much for sending me this ask! It was the kick in the ass I needed to get me to actually write this scene, and for that I’m extremely grateful. I still don’t know if I’m entirely happy with the finished product, but it exists now, and that’s something.

So some of you may remember (if anyone actually follows my ramblings, haha!) that I’ve been simultaneously complaining about and obsessing over this gigantic WIP I’ve had since fucking March 2019. Nearly two and a half years have passed since I put the first word to paper, and oh how I’ve loved to cry out in frustration about how I have about 12k written on the stupid thing and yet not a single scene finished.

AT LEAST

NOT UNTIL TODAY

YES, I’VE DONE IT. I’ve finished a scene on this amazing, wonderful, and incredibly stupid WIP, and I could just cry.

FYI for anyone who doesn’t know what the fuck I’m talking about (which I’m sure is everyone, ‘cause I don’t expect anybody to remember this insane thing I’ve been shouting about all this time, LOL): this is the Slytherin My Gryffindor WIP. Yes, that is a working title. 😅 I will find a better one.....some day.......Ron/Draco is the main pair, but there will also be plenty of others sprinkled in the background.

Anyway, about this ask and that context I haven’t been arsed to write yet...

Context required in order to understand this scene 😂:

Fred Lives AU

The Muggle world and the Wixen world has kind of mixed in recent years, and it’s very common for magical people to be using Muggle technology

The Weasley twins have opened a second shop in Diagon Alley...selling sex toys (yes, really)

Their first original product line issssssss..........dildoes shaped like the Weasley brothers’ own dicks (and a fleshlight kind of thing for Ginny)

Yes this is crack!fic (but, like, also not???)

Ron has been made general manager of the shop and is there all the time, as they’re incredibly busy

Draco wants 👏 that 👏 D 👏, but is worried about Ron finding out, so keeps coming into the shop randomly hoping he won’t be there (and of course he always is)

Eventually there’s a day where Ron’s in the backroom, Charlie’s visiting and helping out at the register, and when Ron emerges, Charlie informs him that Draco Malfoy has just run in and bought Ron’s dildo

Cue Ron being incredibly turned on by this notion

So that pretty much brings us up-to-speed for this scene - it’s been a few days now, and Ron’s been trying to figure out a way to contact Draco to talk to him about the whole thing, since they never became friends or anything after the war and don’t regularly talk unless they’re just seeing each other around

The fic is meant to touch on, like...fame in the aftermath of the war (i.e. why anyone would be interested in sex toys modelled after the Weasley siblings in the first place)

Ron has evolved from his teenage self and grown to hate the fame - it prevents him from being able to date, because the press can never let him keep anything private

After this scene, the fic will focus on Ron and Draco developing a sexual - and eventually romantic - relationship (originally under the guise of “testing out” other products from the shop together)

They will try their best to keep their relationship a secret, but, like...everyone knows 😘😘😘

Also Draco is a model in this one (not important for this scene, but just thought you might want to know 😂)

In addition, some warnings/content to make note of before reading:

NC-17 (smut incoming!)

Technology circa 2005

Phone sex

Semi-public sex

Sex toys

Both Ron and Draco are a little drunk (but very consenting!)

Crack taken way too seriously

Of course, this hasn't been betaed or Britpicked, so I apologize for how very rough it is right now, lol. It will likely be a little (or a lot!) different if I ever actually finish this whole fucking fic and post it later on. I am treating this scene like a “sneak peek” of the fic, because I definitely do still want to try to finish it someday...

HOLY SHIT, I had a LOT more to say about it than I thought. 😅 So anyway. Scene under the cut.

Friday night at the Dragon's Head was packed. It took a bit of initiative, but Ron, Seamus, and Dean finally managed to snag them all a table in the back corner, hoarding the extra seats till Harry and Neville finally arrived, trailed closely by Ginny and Parkinson ― who were curiously short one blond wizard.

Ron tried not to think about it. He bought the first round with Harry, listening to him chat about the recent Puddlemere match against the Magpies. They ordered nibbles for the table. Ron munched on chips, his heart skipping every time the door opened across the room and another few patrons trickled in.

He was on his third pint of the evening when he started getting antsy. He sipped his Simison, using the light smoke curling around the rim of the glass to discreetly glance around the pub, hoping to spot a familiar head of blond hair in the crowd. His foot tapped impatiently on the floor.

"Is he coming, then?"

Ron's head snapped to attention. Ginny checked the door as well before turning back to Parkinson.

"Who?" Neville asked, snagging a vinegar-soaked chip from the bowl in the center of the table.

"Malfoy," Ginny said, craning her neck to see her girlfriend's screen.

Parkinson tapped away on her mobile, shaking her head. "No. Says he's already curled up with a bottle of wine and a good book, and doesn't fancy getting all done up."

Fucking hell. Ron drained the dregs at the bottom of his glass. It wasn't often Malfoy joined them on a mostly-Gryffindor outing ― not unless Parkinson could convince him. Somehow, Ron felt he should've known it wouldn't be in the cards tonight. Conversation pivoted again, and Ron ran his fingers up the sides of his empty pint, thinking.

At some point, Seamus and Harry set off to get another round, and Ginny hurried away with them after a quick peck to Parkinson's cheek. Neville and Dean had gotten into a chat about proper Mimbulus mimbletonia care, and Ron saw his chance. He could feel his heart start to thud in his chest as he cleared his throat, raising his voice to catch her attention.

"Parkinson?"

She turned back from watching Ginny leave, a small smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. "Yes?"

"Think you could give me Malfoy's number?"

The smirk she gave him in response made his hands shake a little as they drummed against the tabletop.

"Whatever for?"

Ron stared her down, knowing full well any excuse he told her would never be enough. Parkinson's expression was predatory ― as if she already knew the answer anyway. He waited for her to comment, bracing himself.

To his surprise, she instead dug her mobile back out of her handbag.

She turned the screen towards him, and he typed the number directly into the dialer on his phone. He waited a few minutes until everyone ― Parkinson included ― had moved on to other things and forgotten about him, and then slipped from the table.

Ron shouldered his way through the crowd to the loo, pushing inside and locking the door behind him. It was a small room, hardly bigger than a broom closet. There was a toilet and a sink, a grimy mirror hanging above it, and a dim ceiling lamp that barely lit the space.

Ron backed up to one side of the room and slumped against the wall. He gripped the phone in clammy hands. Those pints had picked a perfect moment to hit him all at once. Ron blinked away the creeping dizziness, staring down at the numbers glowing dauntingly on the tiny screen. He'd been unable to get it out of his mind for days ― the image of Malfoy riding his dildo ― and now that he had a way to contact him, he was frozen. The leaky faucet dripped, the sound maddening as it mingled with the rush of blood in his ears. This was stupid. This was so bloody stupid.

He hit call.

Ron held his breath, cupping the phone to his ear. The line rang and rang, until he started to realize he didn't have a plan B. What if Malfoy didn't answer? What if he had to leave a voicemail? What would he even say? He should've just texted him, damn it.

Then, suddenly, the ringing stopped. There was rustling and a mumbled, "Bloody useless thing." Then, louder, "Yes?"

"Malfoy?"

"Yes, this is ― Weasley?"

Malfoy sounded surprised. Ron breathed out gradually, his heartbeat slowing with it. Malfoy's voice was clear and present on the other end. No looking back. He tried to think of something to say, and only came up with one thing.

"Haven't seen you round the shop yet this week."

"Don't tell me that's really why you called." Malfoy sighed, trying to sound put-upon, but Ron could hear the hint of nerves underneath. "If you must know, that would be because I found what I'd been looking for."

"I know."

There was a sharp intake of breath on the other end. For a moment, Ron thought Malfoy might hang up. But then he cursed quietly. "Damn that brother of yours. Incorrigible."

So it really was true. Charlie hadn't just been taking the piss. Ron felt a warmth flare up in his belly, spreading down to the tops of his thighs.

"Try growing up with him. And the twins? Now that's a real nightmare."

"I was trying for discreet, but you were always there."

Ron leaned further back against the wall, staring up at the dark ceiling above. He thought of all those times Malfoy had dropped in at the shop, only to hurry out again if Ron ever came too close. Malfoy had jumped at the chance when Ron had been called away to the back that day.

Malfoy cleared his throat. "Well. You know. So what, then? Looking to mock me for it?"

"You always assume the worst with me. Why is that?" Although Ron couldn't exactly blame him. He hadn't given Malfoy much else to go on in years past. Neither of them had. "No. No, I was calling because…" Why had he been calling? It had seemed such a natural thing when he'd asked Parkinson for Malfoy's number not five minutes ago. "I was curious. If there was, er." He waved his free hand, searching for the words. Nothing sounded right. "Any particular reason for it."

Malfoy laughed ― a short bark of a sound. "I mean, obviously yes. It's a sex toy, Weasley."

Ron snorted, taken aback. "That's not ―"

"Actually, I thought it'd make a nice statement in the middle of my dining table. It would be an excellent conversation piece for dinner parties."

"For fuck's sake, Malfoy, I didn't ―"

A chuckle rumbled through from the other end of the line. There was that snark again. Merlin, it made Ron hot, his skin blooming from his collar up to his ears. He chewed his lip, pulling back the grin that threatened to spread across his face.

"I only meant ― was there a reason? That you'd picked mine?"

The line suddenly went quiet. Ron had to check his phone just to make sure the call hadn't dropped.

When Malfoy finally replied, his voice was soft, uncertain. "What would possess you to call and ask me that?"

Ron breathed in slowly, his hand tapping an incoherent rhythm on his thigh. "Well, I'm a bit pissed, to be honest," he admitted, still feeling the slight burn the Simison had left in his throat.

Malfoy didn't say anything more at first. The lamp above buzzed as the faucet continued to drip. Ron could hear the noise from the pub pressing up against the other side of the door.

Then, Malfoy said, "Maybe there was."

Ron felt his heart jump into his throat. "Was what?"

"A reason why I bought it," Malfoy said slowly, deliberately. "Figure it out, Weasel."

Oh, bloody hell. Ron took a shaky breath. Every nerve felt like it was on fire.

"And...how was it?" Ron heard himself ask as if from very far away.

Even over the din of the music beyond the bathroom door, he could hear Malfoy swallow. "It was good."

"Oh, ta." Ron chuckled despite himself.

"No, I mean...Bugger." It was nice hearing Malfoy so flustered. A rare occurrence, and one that the little fluttering pixie in Ron's stomach very much wanted to repeat. "It was brilliant, alright? Happy?"

Brilliant. The word tingled down Ron's spine. For some reason, he couldn't wipe the smile from his face. Bloody hell, was this really happening? He thought of fleeting insults thrown in the school corridors all those years ago ― then he thought of a night just a few months ago, the look in Malfoy's eyes as Ron told him about the shop.

"You wrote a song about me once, if I remember correctly," Ron said, feeling deliriously happy.

"I suppose I did." Malfoy sighed.

Ron's eyes flicked to the door, to the noise of the crowd beyond. "Why didn't you want me to know?"

"Oh, please, Weasley," Malfoy said bitterly. "Pick a reason."

"I know, but ―" Ron tried to argue, but Malfoy cut him off.

"You don't owe me anything. It would be incredibly unfair for me to expect you to be interested in return."

Ron supposed that was fair enough. He'd had similar feelings towards Malfoy until very recently.

"I would be, though. I mean ― I am."

Saying the words out loud gave them a weight Ron hadn't felt before. He let them roll off his tongue, flattened the tip of it along his lips as he thought about flashes of icy blond hair, high cheekbones, and long fingers swirling around the rim of a glass. He thought of the moment he'd finally realized Malfoy had been looking back.

"Oh." Malfoy paused, seeming surprised by that revelation. "Good to know."

Malfoy fidgeted. Ron listened intently, hearing the breath he released and the scrape of his fingers against his mobile.

"You wouldn't ― ah." Malfoy caught himself, and Ron waited for him to continue, his ears ringing. "Would you want to…?" Malfoy trailed off, finishing his thought with a scoff.

"Would I want to what ― oh."

Oh.

Ron swallowed hard. He wanted to believe Malfoy was asking him what he thought he was asking him, but even after everything, it was almost too good to be true. The long stretch of awkward silence on the other end told him he was right, though, and that made him jittery, his hand coming up to rub at the back of his neck.

"I could be reading too much into this," Malfoy muttered.

"No, no, definitely not. I mean." Ron licked his lips, his mouth suddenly feeling far too dry. "I just don't want you to think I expect this."

Malfoy made a sound, and Ron could practically feel him rolling his eyes on the other end of the line.

"Oh, so you don't ring up every person who buys a model of your cock and ask them how they enjoyed it?"

"What? No, of course not!" Ron stopped, realizing, and laughed at himself. "You're joking. That was a joke."

"Terribly clever, this one."

A sudden jiggling of the door handle made Ron jump, almost dropping his mobile in the process.

"Occupied!"

He fumbled with the phone, his heart thudding wildly. When he put it back to his ear, Malfoy was laughing. The sound made Ron feel weak in the knees.

"Where are you?" Malfoy asked, still snickering.

"In the loo at the Dragon's Head."

"Oh, of course." Malfoy sucked his teeth contemplatively. "Hang on. Is there anyone in there with you?"

Another frustrated turn of the door handle.

"It's a single."

"Good." Malfoy lowered his voice conspiratorially. "Do you want me to use it?"

Ron pressed his hand flat against the door, waiting until he heard the bloke give a huff and storm off. "Use what?"

"Your dildo, Weasley."

The silken drawl of Malfoy's voice spread like gooseflesh across Ron's skin. "Right now?" he asked incredulously, although he was already half hard at the thought.

"I could give you an exclusive product review. Unless you don't want to."

"No, I do!" Ron replied quickly, and Malfoy laughed again, making him blush.

"Eager, are we?"

"Yes." Ron passed a hand over his face, trying to laugh as well, but it came out shaky. Merlin, it had been all he could think about for the past few days. Still, he'd never imagined Malfoy would offer it outright. "Just didn't take you for the phone sex type."

Malfoy hummed. "You caught me in a randy mood. Now how do I ― ah, right."

Ron assumed he'd been put on speakerphone, as there was now an echo. He dug out his wand for a moment and cast a quick Silencio on the bathroom. It was a wonder how he had the brain power to spare, when all the blood in his body was suddenly rushing to his cock. He could hear Malfoy fumbling for something on the other end.

"Where are you?" Ron asked in return, trying to distract himself from the heady thrum of anticipation.

"In bed. Naked," Malfoy added with a hint of a smirk in his voice. Ron groaned, shutting his eyes against the image of Malfoy stretched out on soft sheets, hard and waiting for him. Merlin, had he been naked the whole time they were talking? Ron pressed the heel of his palm to the crotch of his jeans.

Malfoy went silent for a moment, until there was a faint intake of breath. His bed creaked distantly in the background.

Ron licked his lips, cupping his hand around the solid, hot line of his cock under his trousers. "Are you prepping yourself?"

"Of course." Malfoy breathed out steadily, the bed creaking again. "You're bigger than I thought you'd be. Although I'd always wondered."

Fucking hell. Ron arched against his hand. Was he really going to get his cock out in a pub toilet? The last shred of his resolve melted away when he heard Malfoy moan, low and guttural, a sound that shot straight through Ron, all the way to his toes. He imagined Malfoy laying back, his knees bent up, and slick fingers down between his legs, pressing in and out of his puckered hole. Ron was switching the phone to his left hand before he could give it a second thought. He flicked open the button on his jeans and pushed his pants down to hook under his balls, taking himself in hand.

Ron rolled his hand down over his length. Malfoy's breath hitched, and he cursed, the bed shifting with him. Ron caught his lip between his teeth, wondering how many fingers he had in him. He imagined himself leaning over Malfoy on the bed, licking a hot stripe along his neck as his hand worked him open, his thighs falling open as he settled between them.

"Fuck, I needed this," Malfoy breathed. Ron moaned, pulling his foreskin back and rubbing over the weeping head of his cock.

Malfoy muttered a Cleansing charm, and then a drawer was pulled roughly open nearby. Ron heard Malfoy pick up the phone, moving and setting it down again as he bounced on the bed, adjusting himself.

"Are you ―?" Ron wanted to ask, but he couldn't finish the thought, left hand gripping the phone hard as he tried to steady himself.

"Yes, gods."

Ron paused, listening as Malfoy shifted and panted on the other end. He didn't have to ask when it was fully in. He knew the moment Malfoy's breath faltered, the gasp he gave sending shivers down Ron's spine.

Malfoy huffed, the sound so loud to Ron's ears as the whole world funneled down to a point, to this moment as he listened to Malfoy move the toy inside of himself. He moaned, and Ron thought he could hear the squelch of lube on the other end of the line as it entered him.

"Talk to me, Weasley."

Malfoy sounded wrecked. It was enough to make Ron's toes curl just to hear it. It was almost too much to handle ― the idea of Draco Malfoy being thoroughly fucked out by a dildo modelled after Ron's own cock. Ron's head thunked back against the wall. His hand trembled a little as he began stroking himself again.

"Get on your knees for me," he said softly.

Malfoy swore. Ron heard him flip over, his panting breaths suddenly closer to the receiver. In his mind, he could see Malfoy bent over the bed, arse in the air and cheek pressed against the mattress, lips rosy and parted. He imagined himself knelt behind Malfoy, hands gripping his slender hips.

"There's, uh." Ron swallowed. "There's a self-shagging feature. If you want. The spell's ―"

"Oh, we're well acquainted."

"Fuck," Ron moaned. No way he was going to last like this. He rocked his hips, thrusting into the tight circle of his fist. Malfoy sounded like he was trying to collect himself, even as his voice broke on the last word. Ron couldn't begin to explain why that aroused him so much, but he didn't care, already speeding up his hand as it flew over his cock.

Malfoy cast the spell, and Ron felt his cry as the toy began to move on its own. The bed gave a jolt under Malfoy's weight. He gasped again, and Ron heard his fingers scrambling across the sheets.

Ron could almost see it. He imagined Malfoy's bowed back, his knees slipping and spreading apart, his toes curling. The bed creaked with each movement. A dildo of Ron's own making, Malfoy arching back onto it as it fucked him down onto the mattress. Merlin, he should've known Malfoy would take it so well, his eyes rolling back as he listened to the sounds Malfoy made as it thrust into him.

Ron closed his eyes and felt like he was sitting in the room, watching the whole show, watching a copy of his cock pound into Malfoy again and again. The pub outside the bathroom door fell away from him, and all he could focus on was Malfoy's voice and his hand on his own cock.

"Tell me how it feels," Ron choked out, wanting to hear it, see it, touch it, to watch Malfoy unravel under Ron's hands and cock, to capture each cry with his tongue.

Malfoy groaned. "So ― good ―"

"Tell me," Ron rasped again, thrusting his hips forward into his hand. "Tell me ― ah ― how good it is."

"It's so ―" Malfoy cried out, his hands skittering over the sheets. "So good ― so big ― I ―"

"Fucking hell, Malfoy."

At that point, Ron didn't know if he wanted to be watching the toy fuck Malfoy or if he wanted to take over for it. Was he really getting jealous of a dildo? He wished he was there. He wanted to tell Malfoy as much, but he couldn't manage it, instead moaning loudly as he felt his balls begin to draw up against him.

"Fuck, Weasley, you're gonna make me come," Malfoy whined, his posh accent slipping.

Holy shit, and that was what did it. Ron made a gut-punched sound, his wrist flicking over the head of his cock. He was coming almost before he'd even realized. He barely had the presence of mind to do anything about it before the first spurt had dribbled onto the floor. He pushed off the wall and lent forward, pumping the remainder into the sink. He heard Malfoy swear, and Ron slumped back against the wall again, listening as he came apart with a shuddering cry.

The line went quiet once more. Ron rested his head on the tiles behind him, closing his eyes, holding his softening cock. For a long time, all he could hear was Malfoy breathing on the other end, his own heartbeat equally loud in his ears.

"I liked that. A lot."

Eloquent as always. Ron half expected for Malfoy to say just that, but instead he heard a very soft chuckle ― and then, quietly, "So did I."

Now that his heart rate was gradually slowing, the noise of the club outside wormed its way back in, reminding Ron of where he was, and what he'd just done. He shuffled his feet uncomfortably, glancing at the door when he heard a chatty couple pass by. How long had he been in there? Were the others looking for him?

Another person suddenly banged on the door, and Ron started, pushing off from the wall and quickly withdrawing his wand, disabling his Silencio and spelling himself clean.

"Right." He wanted to say more. Merlin, he did. But instead all he said just then was, "Well, I should probably, er, get back to it. You know?"

"Of course." There was rustling on the line, and then Ron was off speakerphone, Malfoy's voice close and intimate again in a way that made him shiver. "Have a good night, Weasley."

"You too, Malfoy."

Ron exited the bathroom, ignoring the irritated look the other patron gave him as he slipped past.

The entire way back to their table, he felt like he was floating on a cloud. Harry gave him an odd look when he slid into his seat, pulling the fresh pint they'd bought him an indeterminable amount of time ago towards him. Ron couldn't even begin to catch up with what they were all talking about, his mind drifting to thoughts of Malfoy, his mobile a leaden weight in his pocket as the night wound on.

#writer asks #dron #ron x draco #ron weasley #draco malfoy #harry potter #hp #fanfiction #harry potter fanfiction #hp fanfiction #fangqueen writes fanfiction #fangqueen speaks

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galarsbookstore · 4 years ago

Note

How abt Headcanons with raihan and Leon with a gender neutral reader/SO who doesn’t eat that often? They just constantly forget to eat or don’t feel hungry all that often, which kind of means in general they run on low energy throughout the day. How would the boys react to that and deal with trying to get the reader to snack more, things like that?

Here you go! I mean like, I tried to make this not seem inaccurate, but my low energy is cause I'm clinically sad.tm so I’m not sure about how it feels/body reacts due to low energy caused by low food intake, so I tried my best! also hello sorry I keep taking so long to do these I’m just- university is hard you guys lmao. And I’m lazy.

not related, but related to pokemon: I did a drawing meme challenge w/leon if anyone wants me to post it owo

HCs: Leon and Raihan with a S/O who forgets to eat/doesn’t feel hungry often, so they’re generally low on energy throughout the day.

Leon:

Honestly, he forgets to eat sometimes too.

He’s so busy all the time, that he sometimes just.. Forgets to eat, doesn’t even realize he’s hungry till someone mentions it to him.

But he has people who remind him all the time, be it the chairman or Oleana, or another staff member from the league or maybe another gym leader like Raihan, or Melody, Kabu. So he eats well enough!

But with you, having someone he sees forget to eat, that doesn’t eat often, he becomes much more acutely aware not only about when he needs to eat but also to when you need to eat.

It is beneficial to him, and to you, because now he’s more aware, and makes sure you both eat when you need it.

He won’t force you to eat if you just don’t feel hungry, but he’s gonna try to make sure you have a snack or something with you.

Takes the time to make sure you guys eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner together, and makes sure he learns your favourite foods so you might be more inclined to eat it.

Worries a lot about you- and realizes people probably worried about him when he worked so hard he’d forget to eat.

If you aren’t eating a healthy amount of food, he’s not gonna just leave it alone. It’s not healthy, so he’s going to find ways to get you on a healthier track.

Cause it makes you low energy, aside from making sure you at least get snack before dinner, etc. y’all gonna take vitamins.

Vitamins good for you, take the vitamin.

“Why don’t they make these cool gummy bear gummies for adults? That’s lame...:

Raihan:

I see Raihan as a bit more self-conscious about his food intake and when he’s hungry than Raihan is.

He’s a pretty healthy eater, like not only is it good for you, but he actually does like healthy foods that a lot of people don’t.

Will indulge in fast food and sweets though quite a bit, but he balances it out.

Takes vitamins- gotta keep yourself healthy! Esp. as a gym leader, it’s demanding. And also just... It makes you feel good.

Not one to care about what people eat despite being a generally healthy eater, but he’s going to care a lot about you and how you eat.

Not because he wants you to be like him or be a health nut, but because you don’t eat a lot and it leaves you with little energy during the day-

Now there’s nothing wrong with a nice afternoon nap, but if you do it every day because you aren’t eating enough to maintain enough energy for the day, he’s going to have a problem with it.

Pushier than Leon about making you eat; but he means well. And he does know when he should stop pushing you; he knows your limits.

He knows you may not feel hungry, but that doesn’t mean your body doesn’t need to be fed- so if it’s having small meals throughout the day instead of three big ones then that’s what he’ll help you do.

He’s into protein shakes tbh, esp. after he works out, etc. so he’ll let you try them too- but he’s also a huge water drinker, and water can help you not just stay hydrated but it can also energize you.

Hello matching water bottles, now you two can have big matching refillable dragon-themed water bottles!

#pokemon #pokemon swsh #pokemon imagine #champion leon #gym leader raihan #raihan #pokemon fanfic #pokemon hcs #pokemon headcanons #champion leon x reader #raihan x reader #Anonymous

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unkownknowledge · 4 years ago

Text

Since I have yet to receive any request, I'm just gonna post fanfiction/headcanons for my current team

The team: Kaeya, Tartaglia, Bennett, and Diluc.

-the team formed because Aether had to hurry to Liyue, but only him and Fischl were really strong enough and could leave monstadt, so they had Diluc(as a favor for the darkknight hero quest) train Bennet so he could join them(with the plan to have Aether and Fischl go ahead).

-Kaeya joined in to annoy Diluc, and Bennett was to excited to have a real knight on the team for Diluc to say no.

-Tartaglia joined in because he was on some business, but decided to mess around for a bit, one encounter later and Bennett got Tartaglia on the team by using his puppy dog eyes to convince him(noone can say not to that face)

-Diluc and Kaeya both know Tartaglia is a fatui harbinger, but it's better to just let him have his fun and go than try and fight him and die, so they don't object when Bennet brings him to the winery for recruitment.

-Tartaglia is leaving for Liyue soon anyway, might as well have Bennett go with a harbinger rather than by himself.

-Diluc is not at all happy with the team, but he's a man of his word and he already agreed to this so he can't back out now.

-Kaeya is nervous of Tartaglia at first, but after them both sharing one brain cell to annoy Diluc he's quite happy about the current arrangement.

-Tartaglia is extremely happy about having some fun slaying monsters, but if he can annoy the darkknight hero AND get some strong comrades as well? He is absolutely estatic!

-Bennett often has to hold back his tears of joy, he's so happy to be in an adventure team, and with knights aswell!

-Bennett constantly calls the team "Benny's round table" because he is convinced that Tartaglia is a knight(Kaeya and Diluc did this to keep him from doing anything stupid out of a desire to be a hero, ie taking on a fatui harbinger), and he already knows Diluc is the darkknight hero because Kaeya being a jerk to Diluc.

-"Bennett, why do you call us your 'round table'?" "Because your all knights!" "But I'm not-" *cut to Diluc kicking down Kaeya's door*

-Diluc is the dad of the group, and he's starting to rethink his disdain of alchohol.

-Kaeya need to be reminded that, no, a wine cocktail is NOT the same as a grape salad. Nor is a grape salad a good breakfast anyway!

-he constantly asks Jean for help.

-"how the HELL do you deal with Kaeya all day!?" *jean slides Diluc an address to a cafe* "ask them for 'Jean's three bean soup', you'll need it."

-Diluc has to stop Tartaglia from bumrushing every enemy they see.

-"Childe no!" "But big monster!" "CHILDE-"

-Diluc has to rescue him because Tartaglia usually rushes ruin guards when he is severely hurt.

-and he has to do all this while training Bennett!

-one day Diluc brings Venti to the back of his bar and gets on his knees, "lord Barbados please give me patience." "You mean strength, right?" "Depends on whether or not you give bail money as well."

-Kaeya isn't all bad though, and Tartaglia treats his comrades well, so they both pitch in to train Bennett.

-Kaeya teaches Bennett fast movement and schemes, and if they can get a horse you bet your ass the cavalry captain is training him to be a cavalry master!

-meanwhile Tartaglia teaches Bennett combat strategies and how to deal with longer ranged targets, also teaches him financing because Bennett needs to learn how to manage his money.

-does not help that all three can't help but spoil the boy.

-Diluc teaches Bennett how to use his vision, how to fight certain enemies, and anything else he has from his time as the darkknight hero.

-Diluc is the embodiment of 'if you can dodge a wrench you can dodge a ball, except for him it's: "if you can kill a Mitachurl you can kill a slime"

-many, many injuries are sustained until Kaeya points out that Bennett should be training to fight in a group.

-Bennett develops a crush on Diluc, it's inevitable. But I'll save those HCs for later.

-Kaeya and Diluc start showing signs of making up, but it takes a while.

-for now though, it's just a few small things here and there: Kaeya not insulting Diluc when he drinks grape juice, Diluc making Kaeya death afternoons and not purposely mess it up, Kaeya offering to help Diluc with his darkknight duties and Diluc not pushing him away.

-it will be a while, but their getting there.

-however: remember when I said Kaeya and Tartaglia share a brain cell?

-hoo boy.

-Diluc has to deal with Tartaglia's constant pranking, and thanks to Kaeya's scheming ability he can never see it coming.

-Diluc walks out a door? Bucket of water. Diluc goes to bed? Tartaglia uses his vision to make him wet himself. Diluc goes to the bathroom? Firecracker on the seat.

-Diluc cannot catch a break!

-despite being from different sides, Kaeya and Tartaglia become friends. Kaeya even learns his real name.

-might do some romantic HCs idk, but this is platonic.

-because they're friends, the pranks don't stop at Diluc: La Signora and Jean are about to feel the wrath of two tactical geniuses with the brains of 4 year olds.

-La Signiora's makeup gets replaced with the wrong colors and a mirror that shows it as right, so she ends up looking like a clown.

-Jean wakes up every day and has to deal with every wall in Monstadt graffitied on, and a Klee that has had four shots of espresso!

-Albedo likes it though, until he also has to deal with Klee.

-archons help them.

-and whatever is above them, please help scaramouche. He knows what he did to deserve this but, he's willing to repent if it saves him from this hell.

-as for Tartaglia and Bennett? Like brothers.

-Tartaglia has a soft spot for kids, and even though Bennett is sixteen he has the mind of a four year old.

-Tartaglia has considered adopting him.

-but Tartaglia also recognizes that Bennett wants to get stronger, and his brotherly love makes Tartaglia train Bennett until he DROPS.

-they spar all the time, Tartaglia even says they should stop when he beats Bennett, but Bennett keeps getting up and going at it again and again.

-Tartaglia might train Bennett till he drops, but Bennett keeps going until he is a bloody pulp, and then he gets up again.

-Tartaglia has never felt more pride in someone else before, he's going to cry!

-they're all one big happy adventure party.

#genshin #genshin imagines #genshin impact kaeya #genshin diluc #tartaglia #bennett

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softbiker · 4 years ago

Text

Pairing: Steve x Reader, Bucky x Reader (not Stucky)

Word count: 3k

Warnings: maybe a couple curse words? I don’t remember. Lots of coffee

Summary: Steve is fond of a particular barista. Bucky has a favorite customer. Let’s see where this goes!

A/N: Somewhat inspired by real life events, this is (hopefully) going to turn into a new series! No idea where I’m going with it or how often it will update, but let’s have fun and see where it goes! As always, let me know what you think and thanks for reading <3

It’s July - early morning and already hot - and the door squeaks loudly somewhere over her shoulder as she preps a fresh batch of coffee to brew. She doesn’t look up or turn around, intent on her task, but she calls a distracted “good morning”, along with her coworkers. The humid morning air has left a sticky fog on the windows and doors, on skin and clothes, and it follows them inside, in spite of the air conditioning. She’s already regretting the long-sleeved shirt she plucked from her laundry pile, though it was the only passable shirt she could find and still be in dress code.

“Hey, you got front?” Bea, her supervisor, pipes up over the headset. Her head bobs over the open door of her bar fridge, where she’s counting milk.

With a nod, she turns back around from the brewing machine, putting on her customer service smile as she sees-

“Oh, morning, Steve,” she laughs, her smile blooming genuine. “I barely heard you come in, sorry.”

“No worries,” Steve smiles. His eyes look tired, but she knows hers are as well - it’s 6:30 in the morning and they’re already into their work day. He ducks his head, leaning a hip against the front counter. “I’m quiet, I guess.”

“What can I get for you?” she asks, tapping away at the screen to open her till. “Just the americano with stevia and almond milk?”

Steve chuckles and blushes under the dark stubble on his cheeks, rubbing the back of his neck with one hand. It strains the seams of his plain white t-shirt, stretched too tight already across his broad shoulders.

“I’m predictable, huh?” his nose scrunches as he asks, and she drops her eyes back down to the screen in front of her, displaying his order as she rings it up.

“Nothing wrong with that,” she shrugs, pursing her lips in an effort to contain her smile. “Anything else for you?”

“Uh, yeah actually, can I get an iced coffee, too? With a little bit of cream?”

“Sure thing,” with a couple of swipes at the screen she’s got the order rung up. She pushes it through, prompts him to swipe his card, and glances down towards the bar, wondering where her coworkers have suddenly disappeared to.

“Well - I guess I’ll get those ready for you,” she quirks an eyebrow at him as she makes her way down towards the espresso machines, with Steve following along, separated by the counter between them. He watches, her head down, labeling a cup and pulling espresso shots, turning for a stevia packet.

“So,” he clears his throat. “How you been?”

“Oh, you know,” she shrugs. “I’m here - and it’s 6:30. And hot.”

“Yeah, yeah,” he laughs. “Tell me about it. I’m already sweating.”

“Same here!” Her face disappears as she bends down to dig in the fridge for a tetra of almond milk. “I mean, I really played myself today - wearing long sleeves. I don’t know what I was thinking.”

“Wow, rookie mistake,” Steve shakes his head.

She slides the americano out at the end of the bar, after adding a cardboard sleeve to protect against the scalding heat of the water. Their eyes meet over the drink, his fingers just slightly brushing hers even as she spins away and grabs the cup for his iced coffee. Conversation lulls; he clears his throat, takes a small sip of the drink and enjoys the slight burn on the tip of his tongue. She’s fast and smooth, never quite looking at him but never turning completely away from him; he’s in the corner of her vision and she’s the center of his. The cream swirls downward into the iced coffee, softening the color and the taste - though Steve has never been a fan of cold coffees, but he knows how Sam takes it.

“Here you go,” she holds out the iced coffee with a polite smile, plucking a straw from the caddy next to her and extending it in her other hand.

“Thank you-” he trips over whether or not to say her name; he wants to say it, and it’s written right there on her apron, offered on the tip of his tongue. He’d like to taste it. But the leap of familiarity scares him, as it has the last two months he’s been coming in here, and he swallows down the letters. Settles for an answering smile.

“Guess I’ll see ya tomorrow?” he half-jokes, coffees in hand, backing towards the door one step at a time. He watches her head bob as she ducks down to grab a rag out of her sanitizing bucket; she wrings it out and wipes down the counter, sparing him a lifted eyebrow, a sly sideways glance.

“Maybe-” she smirks, swiping an already clean spot on the counter before dropping her rag back in the bucket. “I might be off tomorrow.”

“Might be?” Steve’s head quirks to one side. “You don’t know?”

“Well…I asked someone to trade shifts with me so I could have the weekend off…” she sighs and crosses her arms. “But I haven’t heard back from her, so it’s probably not happening.” Her wry smile is accompanied by a one-shouldered shrug. “It’s just as well, though. This place would probably fall apart without me.”

“Oh, definitely,” he chuckles. “So I guess, maybe I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Have a good one, Steve!” she waves as he ducks out the door, bell jingling overhead at his departure. It really is hot today - her cheeks feel warm. Her whole body does, actually; but the cafe is quiet and empty now, the sun just rising over the buildings outside, and she gets a sip of water from the cup she keeps stashed under the front register.

“So how’s your man today?” Bea jokes over the headset. Looking over, she can see Bea’s mirthful expression peeking around the corner from the back of house where she’d been washing whip canisters.

“Yeah, when are you and Steve gonna go out?” Ally’s voice joins in the teasing, innocently sarcastic in her trademark way.

“Come on, guys,” she huffs, glad that neither of them is out front on the floor, where she was unable to hide her smile. “Steve is just a customer. He’s just another nice regular, that’s all.”

“Uh huh. That’s why you giggle every time we bring him up?”

“I do not!”

“Well, you just keep telling yourself that,” Bea smirks, banging through the back of house door with an armload of milk. “But you should know that store is taking bets on when he’ll finally ask you out.”

She chooses not to answer, just rolls her eyes and heads out the front door to set up the patio umbrellas. It’s July, early morning and already hot, but at least there’s a breeze out here - enough to cool the blazing in her cheeks even as she wrestles the umbrellas open to shade the outdoor tables. Her mind drifts away, to Steve’s easy smile and Steve’s breathtaking eyes, and the way he always dropped a dollar or two in the tip jar. Not to mention, the stretch of his white tees across those ridiculous shoulders.

Well, anyway. He is a nice regular. That’s why she enjoys him coming in every day, that’s all.

**********

“She there today?” Sam smirks as he eagerly plunges the straw into his iced coffee, swirling the cream into its depths. He waggles his eyebrows at Steve’s flushed cheeks while he takes the first satisfying sip.

“Yes.” Steve clears his throat, keeping his eyes down on his own drink. They’re sitting in Steve’s office - well, Steve is sitting, safely behind his desk. Sam posts himself in the doorway, leaning against the frame with his feet crossed. He watches his friend’s flustered fluttering behind the desk - Steve shuffles papers, taps on the keyboard of his computer to open his email, moves his coffee to one side of the laptop and then the other.

“Well?” Sam prompts, gleefully swirling his iced coffee, listening to the ice rattle before taking another loud slurp. “You ask her out yet? Give her your number at least?”

Steve scowls up at his buddy over his laptop screen.

“Sam you don’t get it-” he huffs. “This girl…she’s - God, she’s so beautiful, Sam. You know how many guys must hit on her every day? In a town like this?” He shakes his head. “I’d just be another asshole to her; she’d file my number away with all the other guys she’s not gonna call.”

“Whatever, dude,” Sam rolls his eyes. “That’s just an excuse for you to not take a chance on it. You just gonna keep going in there early in the morning and wasting money on coffee you used to brew at home?”

Steve doesn’t dignify that particular dig with a response, instead choosing to take a large swig from his coffee - he had to admit, she made a damn good cup. Simple as it was. But he knew, as many excuses as he made, he was addicted to more than just the espresso; her sweet smile perked him up in the mornings the way caffeine just couldn’t quite cut it.

He’d been going into the cafe at the crack of dawn for at least a month now. Sam practically begged him once to go out for an iced coffee, an early morning at the end of May, and with a sigh he’d agreed, though he complained loudly about wasting money on expensive coffee shop brews when he preferred to make his own in the coffee pot sitting three feet away from his desk.

The bell dinged over the door, the sun already streaming through the windows at the early hour, summer flushing full and bright. Familiar coffee shop sounds and smells carried across the empty cafe as he strolled in, hands in his pockets, taking in the quaint tables and mismatched chairs, an overstuffed sofa invitingly empty in one corner. Cute. He shuffled towards the counter, not really looking, till he heard a voice welcoming him in and-

She turned around from the brewing machine behind her, smiling soft and brilliant, her eyes a 6 am combination of sleepy brightness, caffeine buzzing in her own veins already.

One hit. That’s all it took to get him hooked.

*********

Her shift couldn’t have ended soon enough. The bright sun and gorgeous summer weather had her itching under her apron, aching to get outdoors in spite of the heat. Every few minutes it seemed she turned to the register to check the time, or slipped her phone from her pocket. Never quite time, never quite close enough. Until-

“Okay, if you’ll just wipe down the bar, you’re good to go,” Nat sighs as she ties her apron, looping the strings around her waist and knotting it in the front. Nat usually takes afternoon and evening shifts, so they haven’t gotten to know each other well, but there’s something about the redhead that she both likes and fears.

With a little whoop of joy, she whirls around to her bucket and grabs the rag for the last time (today at least) and wipes away the splashes of syrup, coffee, and milk that have accumulated over the course of her shift. The counter is a little sticky, but a little elbow grease dissolves the tacky syrup puddle, and with a flourish she stows her carton of coconut milk in the fridge under the counter, tosses her rag back in the bucket, and flashes a peace sign to the other baristas on the floor.

“Alright, I’m out you guys!” she calls, already tugging her apron over her head. Her tote bag hangs on a hook in the back of house, and she rolls the apron up into it before stepping over to the computer to clock out.

“Whatcha doin’ this afternoon?” Bea is off now as well, having handed off the keys to Nat, and was tucking her own apron into her backpack, her Juul sticking out of one corner of her mouth.

“Mm. It’s such a beautiful day…” she sighs. “I think I’m going to go read at that new place I like, get a cold brew, maybe sit outside.”

“Leaving this coffee shop and going to another one?” Bea laughs, taking a hit off her vape, a little cloud puffing in front of her face. She’s not supposed to have it inside the building, definitely not supposed to use it inside at least, but the current manager hasn’t quite worked up the nerve to tell her to stop, so she carries on as she pleases.

“Gotta support local business.” She swings her tote bag up on her shoulder, regretting her habit of stuffing it so full that it’s uncomfortably heavy, and then she’s on her way out the door. “See ya later!”

Besides being a proud supporter of local businesses, she’s also totally addicted to the Garage - the other café and pub she frequents whenever she gets the chance. Their cold brew? Smooth and chocolatey. Their patio? Perfectly shaded and comfortable. Their vibe? Grunge-y without being dirty, hipster without being pretentious. She’d loved it from the first moment she stepped inside on her afternoon off, looking for an iced drink and a cozy spot that wasn’t her own home. What she found? A near-perfect coffee shop with amazing sweet potato fries.

“Oh, hey welcome in!”

Well. And there’s that, too.

“Hi, Bucky - how’s it going?” she smiles at the barista and bartender behind the counter, who is currently stocking the pastry case with an assortment of mouthwatering scones. His hair is swept up in its usual bun, and his mechanic’s shirt is tucked into a pair of black jeans, the short sleeves rolled over his biceps to reveal one flesh arm bearing a full sleeve of tattoos, and one gleaming polished prosthetic.

“Oh, it’s going,” he shrugs, a little bashful. He wills his eyes back down the the pastries at hand, though it’s hard with the way she smiles, hands in the back pockets of her shorts as she approaches the counter.

“Been busy today?” she asks, giving the menu a customary glance, though she’s too far gone on their cold brew to ever order anything else.

“Not too bad, no,” he shakes his head, sliding the glass panel behind the pastry case shut and tossing paper box from the bakery in the trash bin. “Little bit of a rush earlier around lunch, but nothing like what you guys get in the mornings.”

“Oof, for your sake I hope not,” she shudders. “The morning rush is wild, you’ve got no idea.”

“Oh, I’ve got some idea, I’ve seen that drive thru line,” he smirks, leaning his elbows on the counter. Unconsciously she takes a step closer, leaning against the other side of the wood, a mere couple of feet between them.

“I’m literally triggered by the words ‘drive thru’,” she says, with an exaggerated eye twitch that makes him laugh.

“Alright, alright, I won’t bring it up again, my bad,” he raises his hands in supplication, an almost prayer, watching her nose wrinkle and rearrange the pattern of the freckles there.

“Well, anyways, can I get a cold brew, please?” she sighs, looking at him under her lashes.

“You got it,” he nods, tapping the counter. “Perfect day for it, too.” They both glance out the wide front windows of the café, where the patio furniture is arranged under a well-shaded awning strung with criss-crossed globe lights. In the midsummer afternoon, it’s a perfect place to be lazy in public, to sip a drink and read, to pretend to be the sort of person who gets to do those things in the middle of the day.

“It is,” she sighs, looking wistfully at the patio.

“You can go on and get a seat,” he lowers his voice as a couple new customers shuffle into the café. “I’ll bring it out to you.”

“Oh, you sure?” She glances around, noticing that he seems to be the only staff member here. Their shop is laughably less busy than hers, able to survive on a single barista for any length of time during the day, but she still doesn’t want to make more work for him. “I don’t mind waiting.”

“Nah, it’s no problem,” he smiles, dimpling his scruffy cheeks. “I’ll have it out in a minute.”

She’s back out the door and at her favorite table; he can see her from his place behind the bar, with her feet tucked up on the sturdy outdoor ottoman, her bag stuffed under her chair and book already cracked open in her lap. She’s not looking at the page, though - the beautiful day seems to distract her, as she lifts her face into the breeze and stretches her legs out further across the ottoman, spreading out to catch even more of the sunlight.

Wanda hip checks him as she breezes through from the kitchen, having come in through the back door.

“Your girl here today?” she teases, raising one brow suggestively. Bucky scowls at her, embarrassed and flustered and a little guilty.

“She’s not my girl, Wanda,” he corrects her. “She’s just a customer.”

“Pretty regular customer,” Wanda shrugs.

“Doesn’t mean anything. We’ve got plenty of regulars.”

“No other regulars that you look at like that.”

He doesn’t respond. Turning his back on her, he takes a straw from the condiment bar and grabs the cup of cold brew he just poured, and stalks around the counter towards the door.

Wanda stands in the kitchen door, a bin full of dirty dishes under her arm, and watches as he crosses the patio, tucking one hair behind his ear and smiling at the sweet girl with the book in her lap. The girl smiles back, squinting in the bright summer sun, and laughs at something Bucky says, while Buck ducks his head and shoves his hands in his front pockets. He lingers, lingers far longer than required for delivering a single cup of cold brew.

Yeah, sure. She’s just a regular, alright.

#steve rogers x reader #bucky x reader #steve x reader #steve x you #steve x y/n #bucky x you #bucky x y/n #steve rogers x reader fic #bucky x reader fic #steve rogers imagine #bucky barnes imagine

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nightswithkookmin · 4 years ago

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Hi Goldy! I am curious about your take on how Jikook are edited in the behind the scenes clips since October (such as the ones for the Life Goes on music video, ABC Holiday Dynamite, and the Japan one (search on youtube for BTS japan shoot || behind the scene of Japan)). Do you think Jikook are interacting less, being just friends, being more professional, or is BigHit editing their interactions out? It just seems so different from the ones before Oct (FILA, Dynamite MV, Season's Greetings 2021)

Huh???😲😲😲

BigHit is doing what what now?😥

Do you mean that as a fact or theory?🤔

Why though?👀 They are not Tae Kook? 😥

There's Bangtan video of Jimin with his third leg dangling loose in the air somewhere on the internet, I don't think BigHit is that savvy.

Lmho. I mean I see what you mean but they are editors and cutting is what they do for a living. But this is Jikook sis. I don't see BigHit's incentive for 'cutting' Jikook's moments and you shouldn't assume that-

Unless...

You don't think Jikook's been groping eachother homoerotically on set lately have you? Cos, chile I'll believe that! I don't trust Jikook anywhere near eachother's vicinity and personal space.

I've seen enough to traumatize the devil himself. Chilee. Lol.

Bighit, in recent times, mostly tend to cut scenes and moments if they are a bit risqué. Like JK shoving his butt in Jimin's groin face, sliding his hands down Tae's chest...

Often times too they cut moments if its redundant. If a part of a scene is already in the main content they don't bother showing it in the behind scenes. From my observation.

When an interaction is awkward they skip it too, I feel. I mean I am still waiting to see JK touching all over Jimin and feeling him up in Run 106- honey, I'll pay to watch that shit with my kidneys. Lol.

Often too they save some scenes for memories or some other shit that they use all those pent up footages for. Lol.

BigHit is a business, they produce content that per their research and analytics garners more engagement, audience retention and a whole other metrics. They put a lot of creativity into what they do as creatives and artists- I mean if the baby noises is anything to go by. Those bites are tired!

But often times too, they're tired and they're lazy, and they just put anything together and toss it out there without giving it much thought- isn't that how they leave Jin or Tae out of packages, how certain Jikook moments that should have never made it into screen time ended up in screen time- how JM's third leg made it to the internet? They should have cut that shit before uploading it with those subtitles and yet here we are.

I think people give BigHit too much credit- talking about JK shouldn't gay panic and run away from certain moments with JM if he knows BigHit editors are going to cut those moments.... JM's dixk begs to differ. Chilee, Jimin you should have just worn pants. Can't trust these phony ass editors my guy.

The editing is really not a big deal. Not to me. But I love your question anyway. Especially the bits about what's different about Jikook and the content BigHit has been putting out since October.

Well something sure did go down in October, I don't care what anybody says.

I keep saying BigHit banks on the bond and intimacy of the boys, and the boys are more than happy to showcase their bond for the cameras just as Tae said and confirmed in a recent interview- Tuktukkers y'all did an Oopsie on the whole Taekook don't like to show their bond on cameras! Lol

Tae said it himself not me- he lives to showcase his bond with the other members. *where is my skull head emoji. Lmho.

I think what has changed since JM's birthday in October to now, to me where BigHit is concerned, is the general marketing strategy of the company.

It seems to me the company is adopting a marketing module opposite of the strategy they had been using before the pandemic. I think I've talked about this though...

Hate to say I said it, but I said it. Lol.

They are limiting access to the boys to drive sales as and when. BTS dominates the internet and have amassed greater reach and attention partly due to the free content they put out on the internet. But those were never monitised- not in a direct or significant way.

In the wake of the virus, they've had to monetize their online presence. A single tweet from their Twitter account is a phone brand promotion as I pointed out in past posts. There's been an increase in their sponsorship collaborations, in Soop and many of the content they've put up this year. They even turned on ads on their YT channels it seems.

Like I've been saying, this situation is global and novel, they are going to experiment with means and methods till they find that sweet spot and that is what I feel we are experiencing- amongst other things.

Unfortunately for us, our access to Jikook is gonna take a hit like I said before because the numbers are in their favor. I mean go to their YouTube page and see the metrics for yourself.

Jikook's holiday remix pulls way ahead of their counterparts. If their going to monetize any ship brand in BTS it's Jikooks. Trust. But that doesn't mean any ship in BTS is spared.

Someone asked me a while back, when I talked about this, whether all these changes the company was going through was going to affect the way Jikook interact on camera and I couldn't answer that with conviction then.

But I mean we are seeing a subtle, if not drastic change in the way Jikook interact with eachother and with their glass closet.

What that means for us, I think, is the company is going to choose when and where to show us content and certain interactions but that doesn't mean Jikook aren't interacting- know what I mean? I mean they have them. The juicy moments that's gonna make us slap our mamas. BigHit has it all. They are just gonna save it for as and when based on their marketing strategy, if you know what I mean.

I mean we all saw that blackswan performance, we all saw the holiday remix performance etc.

And you are right about the less interactions post October and I've shared my thoughts on it so I won't go into it. But I will state again that they are not broken up either, not to me. Lol.

I think we need to examine what interacting less means. To me, I consider Jikook interacting less if they have an opportunity to interact and they don't interact in a way that is usual of them.

Majority of the content we've gotten in recent times are pretty much very official contents, interviews, etc. The entire BE era, as I said is not about Jikook or even BigHit.

It's about BTS, all seven and Jikook can't monopolize the shine like they tend to do in other BigHit marketed contents in my opinion.

Jimin tried to be funny and chill in the dynamite mv and RM nearly went ninja turtle on his ass when he called him out for not taking things seriously enough during the shoot- Left to grandpa Joonie, the kids will sleep at five. Lol.

Seriously though, there is a huge gap between what BTS views as marketing and marketable and what Jikook or even BigHit views as marketing, in my opinion. And conversations like that between RM and Jimin goes to prove it.

Another interesting thing about this whole marketing approach is how BigHit isn't substituting any other particular pair in Jikook's stead. I see them giving equal screan time to the individual members- well not in a technical sense but I think you know what I mean.

Are Jikook required to be professional in certain situations, absolutely. And in previous years, I think they took too many liberties with it. But as I said, now more than ever they are learning and need to learn to read the room because they wouldn't be able to get away with much if they don't.

BE is a self produced project, after Soop- after when they were isolated to help them bond and repair fractures in their bond. If there were anything they were not happy with that led to Soop, trust that they are going to fix it post Soop and it's going to reflect in every sphere of their interactions.

RM for example has chilled on his monitoring and censorship of Jikook, Jikook have been pretty considerate of the group and have tried not to do anything to have RM pop a vein, Tae has been stepping up too- with the members going out their way to praise him and push him to the fore front of the group unlike in previous years *cough cough I don't want trouble but chilee.

I mean Jimin pointed it out in the Be behind when he said Tae was working hard and putting his best foot forward because the members had been showering him with lots of compliments in recent times and he wasn't kidding.

In the LGO comeback live, RM praised Tae for working hard forgetting it wasn't just Tae and JM's reaction was telling. Of course he backpedaled to compliment JM too.

Suga did the same thing in the Be behind video when he was talking about JM and praising him- I mean it's Suga and his Jimin, uWu. But then he too backpedaled to compliment Tae when he realized what he was doing and I was like CAN SOMEONE PRAISE KOOKIE TOO PLEASE AND THANK YOU. Lol.

Anywho, the company is equally chilling on their Jikook agenda which I have speculated on several ttimes so won't get into- it's all so very kumbaya and God, I hate it. Lol.

Give me the chaos goddammit!

I feel Jlkook loosen up in contents that aren't like super official business moments and that's when you see their domesticity. Lol.

You see them having their me time in the background of some of the content, and in one of the interviews where they were sat a good feet apart but they kept moving closer and closer till eventually after their lunch break cut, they were sat very close to each other.

I'm not a fan of the cameras being shove in their faces during their private moments- Kookie certainly doesn't appreciate that either.

But they are working for a living nonetheless and making content is what they do for a living. So we are definitely gonna get the content from them alright, the fanservice, the organic moments passed off as fanservice, the moments that should never make it to screen- all nine. Lol.

We are just not going to get them in a way we are accustomed to. And it certainly doesn't help that they are each on their own personal growth journeys- gradually disconnecting from their fanbase, I mean Jk's been long gone duh, and Jimin did say he has come to the realization not everyone in the fandom loves him and he is learning to react less strongly to them; which to me translates as bye bitches you don't deserve me. Lol.

I mean dude didn't bother posting for new year this year- y'all Jimin is done with our ass. We might as well pack our bags and join him in Kookie's Casa. I call dibs on the broom closet under the stairs. Lol.

Jikook gets called fanservice and other creepy slurs in this fandom but people forget all of this is their choice too. They choose, are choosing to share all the bits of them they share with us, with us. Inspite of all the hate and insults, they choose to do that- if they did it for the fanservice don't you think they would have called a time out on it long ago because it's not worth it?

I hate it here.

I guess what I'm saying is, you are right about these observations you've made and some of the things you've pointed out are facts.

But we have talked about all of that so it really shouldn't be anything new? Kindly check my previous posts. I think I shared my point of view on what I think is going on with Jikook, BigHit and BTS.

Other than those, I don't think there is anything major up with Jikook honestly. I keep saying I don't think they are broken up. I don't see either of them closed off, emotionally open to connecting with the others.

If anything I said I feel Jimin is falling in love all over again with Kook. I mean when he looks at him he looks to me as if he is seeing Kook in a different light.

And it's funny how all through out 2020 he kept reiterating how his friends and family and relationships were important to him, shading the ef out of Kook during the Japan Stay Gold promos claiming his relationships were important to him and was what was Gold in his life.

He even went on to talk about picking an accent spending time around his friends and talking with his friends around his birthday but suddenly in the Be behind scenes he was talking about how he's come to the realization BTS is his only true friends and how friends come and go.

Clearly he's had an epiphany of a sort and has been through something post his birthday that has him setting his priorities straight in the aftermath.

In his Weverse magazine, he mentioned how he's recently discovered something about himself, about how he loves to be loved. He then went on to clarify that when during festa he talked about having a desire to perform with the members for a long that that he meant to say he wanted to be with them for a very long time.

But then JK said Jimin said that bit to him first. And if this is the interpretation Jimin is giving to that statement then- one plus one is two honey. Numbers don't lie.

Dude don whispered those sweet empty nothings in JK's ear telling him he wants to be with him for a very long time and shit.

And now homeboy out here setting up roots in gay boulevard. I don't think their well is drying up any time soon. Lol.

They are in a honeymoon phase again and they are not showing us. Stingy bastards! Lol

And when JK said to JM in response, that BTS is his home- wow. He really said that...

He is Jimin's home. Literally. Please, my heartu😭

Jikook is real. Please support them.

Signed,

GOLDY

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glitteronadumpsterfire · 4 years ago

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I'm a fucking wreck rn I haven't been sleeping for a week and I'm getting some rest from the bullshit factory that is my brain only now, but I just wanted to say that last year for me has been saved by tumblr and all the friends I made along the way.

Before you go below the cut, a special thanks goes to the Bee Movie Anon, who, rightfully, I can't tag so I have to say it here in the hope that they'll see it. Your hunger for chaos made me feel a lot of emotions, and I'd have never in any time or space thought that the Bee Movie would be such a prominent part of my life as it is now thanks (read it with a note of sarcasm) to you. Thank you for providing us an infinite amount of both entertainment and suffering, hell, some of the friends I made were because of YOU. I'm still not sure what was your drive to go and start this absurd crusade for the bee movie in the 80s metal fandom, but I don't know, I don't think bee so, I'm not gonna question your ways.

@arnold-layne being the first in line, you kept me sane somehow in the first phases of quarantine and dedicated a lot your time to talk with me and helped me enormously with creativity. If it wasn't for you, that Cyberpunk Comic That Is Kinda Inspired By The Crüe and Shout At The Devil would've been already down the drain. I would've given up probably, because I didn't know how to exted the concept and have an actual plot. A dream that I've been having for literal years wouldn't even have such cool characters with a rich storyline if it wasn't for you. I know I kinda left it after a month or so of intense brainstorming with you, I was literally drained at that point both physically and mentally, but oh boy I haven't forgot about the characters that WE created. How could I after all? Russ being the wreck of a tormented junkie protagonist that he is, Dylan the happy-go-lucky fuck up that seems to do nothing right but with the best intentions, Frankie the runaway sassy and wary androgynous teenager whose gender is a mystery even to themselves, and the epitome of the found family trope, ex gov agent part Japanese, part Russian, part cyborg Vik, whose story isn't still clear yet but we'll give him a very good one, eventually.

You gave me the curiosity to read fanfiction again after literally NINE YEARS of being distant from that part of the fandom and honestly I don't regret it one bit. In fact, I discovered literally my favorite writer in fanfiction. That is you, Arnold. I don't care how frequently you write, I don't care if sometimes you can't do your best. I'll always be there waiting for the next chapter and I'll always think that your art is sublime. I'll have to admit, I don't read your works as often as I should. But it's because I love them so much that I want to always save for later. It's like a drug, or a delicious cake that you want it to last as long as possible so you can enjoy it for much longer (I should be reading your fic more often either way tho like, at least so I can make more art for it. I'll make sure to change that this year and give you the recognition you deserve 🖤).

Everytime I make art, everytime I make a post, I always wait for your name to pop in my notifs. And fuck if I'm happy when I see it, and I rush to read your tags and it always makes my day. Like seriously, you mean so much to me and I admire how you can still be any amount of sane with all you're going through. You're strong as hell, keep going. 🖤

@i-dont-like-rice dude, how can I explain it. You're my best bud here. You're my chaotic sibling from another mother. The other braindead I share the single braincell I have with. The Nikki to my Tommy. Or the Tommy to my Nikki, I'm still not sure which of us is which (I guess I'm Nikki and you're Tommy? lmao it's ironic how even them are an italian and a balkanian) but you get the point. Every interaction we have, I laugh my ass off till my whole body hurts every time. I think I worried my mother and annoyed my sister at least a couple times for bursting out laughing for five minutes straight out of the blue, especially if it was late at night, and all the times, I swear it was because of you. You are as chaotic as you are kind, and it's always so disarming to see you worry or take care of others when you are definitely in a worse situation. Please, be more selfish, goddammit. For your own sake. And be more confident of your art. Draw shit and post it. Who cares if it's not perfect and you hate it and you don't want anybody to see it, it's tumblr, nobody will ever reblog it or give you the well deserved recognition anyway! So it's worth a try isn't it?

@no-stone-no-bone seriously, I'm so glad I met you. You're like the third element of chaos that holds me and Andi together. All three of us are literally unstoppable. You're extremely sweet too and I wish you the best, and DON'T HIDE SHIT IN THE TAGS GODDAMMIT 😂

@white-lightning-625 @viiinceneil I know we really haven't talked much, and we met through unfortunate times, but I'm so glad that something good came out of the chaos and drama, which is being able to talk to you and getting to know you both better. And the fics. My god, the fics. Frankie, I already told you this but MY GOD. I still find it incredible that I've read a fic about a band I didn't even know what they looked or sounded like and I was HOOKED from start to finish. And Katie, I should definitely read more of your works because I love what you've got going on. You're both very sweet and talented with a very distinct, beautiful way of writing and I can't wait to sink my teeth into the pulp of your work, because I know that by now I only scratched the surface.

@awrestlinggirlwholoves80sbands Bruh, conoscere una fan su tumblr the parla la MIA STESSA LINGUA (e che ha pure il mio stesso vero nome lmao cosa sta succedendo)??? Che concetto innovativo!!! Le nostre conversazioni sono sempre disgiunte, ma non importa, adoro ogni nostra interazione. Sei seriamente una delle persone più dolci e gentili che abbia mai conosciuto. La tua creatività stimola sempre la mia. Le tue moodboard sono sempre 👌👌👌 e ogni volta trovo sempre qualcosa che sì, ci avevo pensato, ma mai nel modo in cui lo poni tu, e di solito sono una persona che resta vicina alle proprie idee, ma tu riesci a farmi alterare prospettiva, e trovo questo meccanismo mentale molto affascinante. Ti ricordi lo swapped instruments AU, con Tommy come cantante, no? Giuro che è un concetto a cui penso ancora dopo mesi. Spero di avere la capacità mentale per tradurre quell'idea in arte il prima possibile, perché cazzo, lo adoro troppo

@tattooed-lies thank you for providing the fandom the best gifs in the fucking platform and thank you for giving us the vinikki content that everyone, even if they're not aware, deserves and needs. Thank you for being the only Vince stan that I know. Thank you for being the sweetest person alive 💖

@nbtommylee honestly, I wish I was cool like you. Your sense of humor is impeccable, much like your critical thinking. I have never read something from you that wasn't a valid point. You don't talk shit and that's extremely sexy of you, y'know? And having a "gender dysphoria buddy" to be jealous of our Rockstar Gender Of Choice with is always fun to have, so that's definitely a plus. Can't wait to see (and read!) more of your art, I just love your style so much and you deserve to be Known

@metalmelkor @emometalhead @polka-dot-duff I'm always so happy to see you in my notifs and y'all are oh so very sweet and cool, we haven't talked much but I love every interaction we have, sorry for having the social skills of a stale piece of white bread 🖤

A special thanks goes to @awesomgrlgr8job bc you're literally one of my very first mutuals since I made the decision to make this dumpster fire of a blog and holy shit it's crazy to think about that. I don't even know if we ever interacted that much but it's always such a joy to see you around, ily and I hope you're doing well and thanks for putting up with my clownery for so long 💖

Like seriously, thank you all. I don't even know where I would be without you. Here's to another year of chaos, but only of the good kind 💖

#witchy.txt #I didn't think I would've rambled so much ahshdhjfjf I'm so sorry you have to go through all that #there are a lot of people I could've mentioned but we never really talked so I wouldn't have much to say #but believe me when I tell you that I love seeing you on my dash and in my notifs #I really mean that #and I hope y'all are doing well bc ily 💖

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lucas-koh · 4 years ago

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2020 appreciation

I got tagged in a load of these (THANK YOU) and haven’t got round to doing mine yet I’ve been so scared I’ll forget someone but... here we go! The list of people who made my 2020!

Organised alphabetically.

@ajs-wife Reid! What would I do without you... my first proper friend in the fandom and you’re been such a great one. Always checking in and so kind and just know you’re so loved okay?🧡

@americangrunge juul my chaos mother, you’re hilarious and you know I love the shitposting😎 and your writing is literally insane, I get all the feels from it and it’s so so beautifully done. No exaggeration when I say yours is some of my favourite writing I’ve come across💛

@anotherbeingsworld always love seeing your thoughts on Stitches so much😭 and you’re so sweet and that appreciation post you wrote was so so lovely I nearly cried aksndjf and I just know when I get a chance to read your writing I’m going to be blown away❤️

@ariendiel first of all you’re a crazy good writer. I’m literally in awe of Rosehill House and the other stuff I’ve read from you. Leader of the Noah simps you might be turning me into a full on Noah simp... there’s no one else I’d rather write Henkub/Lubby with💜

@bellarxse an amazing writer and an amazing person!🧡 seriously, your writing is so so crazy good and I have no idea how you produce so much😆 I can’t wait to get stuck into your twc stuff. you’ve also been such a helpful and kind friend to me and I appreciate you so much💚

@bobbyboops the first person who spoke to me in the fandom🥺 also the amazing author of the first fic I read!!

@bobbyscupcake I know you’re not as active any more but I love how supportive you are and so kind and such a pillar to when I find joined the fandom💗🥺 keep doing you!

@bobbymckenziess we don’t interact loads but you make me laugh a lot with your asks and posts in general and I love ciwyw and your moodboards are gorgeous🥺💚

@bratzlahela I know you’re inactive but it wouldn’t be right if I didn’t tag you. You’ve been the source of so much happiness to me this latter part of the year and I hope you know that! You’ve heard me say it all before but you’re so talented and your songs are insanely good like PLS I want them on Spotify so I can listen all the time😭 and you even write fic so well too??? Leave some for the rest of us maam. Your comments are my favourite thing, every time I get one I squee and react along with you🥺❤️

@bubblelaureno you’re the sweetest! So dedicated to your work and talented too, your edits are stunning and your writing is such a breath of fresh air in the sea of bobby fics. You’re also so kind and understanding, never stop being you❤️

@bubblybabynailpolish some of your edits have had me crying they’re so funny, not to mention the legit ones which are actually so cool and well done. Generally you’re super hilarious and nice and it makes me laugh when you always get bobby asks😂💙

@bumblebeesbuzz-litg an icon!! You’re so funny and kind and I love listening to you talk about BTS even tho I never have a clue what you’re on about😂 you’ve always been so helpful and welcoming to me and it means so much and I’m happy I now get to call you a friend☺️🖤

@daisybarks i don’t know if we’re still getting poly-married but😪 it’s fine ig. Lmaooo you’re amazing and so so funny and insanely talented (emotional support fic writer!!!) and you deserve all the good things💜

@deuchess I’ve missed seeing your litg stuff as you’ve moved over to twc, but since I’m there now too👀 you’re absolutely hilarious I can’t tell you how many times your responses to asks have made me laugh. So sweet and welcoming too!!💙

@fuseboxmusebox ash!!! You’re so sweet and funny even if I do scare you sometimes on discord😪 you’re also crazy talented and I will wait so long to read your stuff - never worry about that!! You’re a fantastic person💖

@katbee you’re one of my favourite writers and I also cannot wait to read your twc stuff (and get caught up on SLM😌)!! Thank you for being so supportive and kind and for your comments on my work too they mean the world to me❤️

@kiki-the-creator foot friend! So lovely and funny and your support before was everything☺️ I need to find time to read all your work I know it’s gonna be good🥺🤍

@kingkassam your comments!! They make me so happy every time - not to mention you’re so funny and creative with these gorgeous moodboards 💙

@kittidot I’m so in love with buried love as I told you back when I first played it - you created something so fun and well executed and it’s just amazing. All the characters are so good and different and the writing is👌 You’re so lovely too and I can’t wait till I get a chance to read more of your stuff!💓

@lahellacute you’re so supportive and you know your responses to Stitches make me so happy🥺 but I’m also glad we got to talk and you’re so lovely!💚

@longbobmckenzie Sarah you are the best for putting up with the chaos squad😂 youre also a great voice of reason when I’m worrying about something silly and you know I adore w&s😌💙

@loveislandff always so sweet and kind and you know I ADORE your art! And the little bit I read from your fic was so sweet😭 I just know your talent is gonna keep developing and I can’t wait to see more from you🤍

@maraudern05 according to costar I don’t have to avoid you today 😌 thanks for laughing with me at mr pug and being so so kind and helpful and EVERYTHING! You deserve the world!💜

@mchamster you just make me laugh so much. So many of your posts have had me in absolute tears😭 you’re also super supportive and kind - never stop being you mchamster❤️

@mountainmanxoxo my other chaos parent😌 I love your humour and playfulness and you make my day so often that I can’t pick specific moments because there’s too many. You’re also so supportive and thoughtful and you have an amazing heart ♥️

@mrsgaryrennell you’re so sweet and the amount of love, care, and detail that goes into your characters and writing is amazing😭 the day I get to start blue and hazel I know I’m gonna be blown away!!💖

@nerdferatum the sweetest, most talented, lovely, and also funny person?? That’s you!! Honestly your reactions and stuff often have me laughing so much and well, like I said, you’re just so genuinely nice and your art is bloody stunning. You’re an amazing person and amazing friend and I’m so glad I get to talk to you!🥺❤️

@spicysriracha LILI!! You’re so sweet and one of first accounts I found here and MWS is one of the first fics I read! I love the British solidarity 👏🏼😎 and you’re just great, keep being you🧡

@therealityofthematteris I’m so happy to be able to call you a friend! You’re so supportive and helpful and lovely and talented - take a hint is one of the best fics I’ve read this year and you absolutely deserve to be proud of it! ONS was the first fic I really raved about. Thanks for letting me ramble about the randomest of things and always helping out! And also, for making me laugh! ❤️

@venueska you were so welcoming and lovely to me back when I was a fresh account and I’ve always appreciated that so much🖤 among us with you was so funny and you’re generally funny and your fics are amazing too! I don’t know if you’ll ever come back to them, but just know I loved them☺️

@zigtheeortega also super sweet and helpful and your writing is such a treat to read - for both choices and litg!! (You literally made me so damn sad with out of time aksndjfk) Again, can’t wait to get stuck into your twc stuff😆♥️

So I know I’ve forgotten people, I just know I have😢 if we’ve interacted at all in any way this year YOU BELONG ON THIS LIST!! Everyone I’ve come across on here this year is amazing and special and y’all mean the world to me💓

#margot talks #margots mutuals #amazing people

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catnaples · 4 years ago

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HAIKYUU: TIME-SKIP GENERAL HEADCANONS 1

MASTERLIST

Here’s yet another post that no one asked for lmao. These are just some things that live rent-free in my head that I compiled. I’ll be slowly moving through some more requests today as long as everything goes well! ♥

SLIGHT SPOILERS (MANGA TIME-SKIP)

♥ Sugawara can crochet/knit and around the holidays or birthdays, he knits sweaters and scarves for everyone and will lowkey turn into scary Suga if they don’t wear them right away. It doesn’t matter how hot it is, wear it if you want to live

♥ Daichi and Kuroo like to exchange dad jokes whenever they see each other, and then when they use it on their former team mates they like to text each other and laugh at how their friends reacted

♥ I lowkey think Kenma would CRUSH Project Diva.

♥ Whenever Kenma, Kuroo, Bokuto and Akaashi hang out, I think they form teams and play Project Diva on Hard mode and whoever gets the lowest scores has to pay for dinner/lunch/drinks

♥ Hinata would learn Portuguese with Oikawa so that they can speak in a language that Kageyama doesn’t know, and then they’d rub it in his face when he’s making them mad

♥ I think that Yamaguchi watches sappy kdramas with Hinata, lmao you can’t change my mind. I bet you his favorite is either Boys over Flowers or She was pretty

♥ Bokuto is all beefy and tough but the second any tiny little inconvenience hits him he's a cry baby (which I guess is kinda canon actually lmao). For example one time he was trying to help Akaashi with his work and he was stapling things and he stapled the very edge of his finger and he bawled like a child for hours

♥ Kageyama would 100% accept a sponsorship from a milk company change my mind

♥ I think that Tsukishima keeps a mass collection of collectible toy dinosaurs in his living room so that he can admire them, and will ABSOLUTELY roast anyone who tries to make a smart comment about them

♥ I also think that Tsukishima’s idea of a romantic date is to drag the unsuspecting person to a large museum and force them to listen to him prattle on about the stuff there (mainly the dinos lol)

♥ Akaashi probably slips an idea to another coworker about a manga that tells the story of an aloof spiky haired muscle man with his strong and silent best friend making their way through high school together (hint hint)

♥ Kuroo and Bokuto are bros till the end. Going out for a beer or something, just the two of them instead of forcing their quiet friends into loud conversations. They probably wear matching bro t-shirts lmao can you imagine? They make a lot of dumb decisions while drunk too ppffft. Like they steal a duck from the local park and get in trouble the next morning because they were caught on camera doing it

♥ I have this soft idea in my head that Ushijima and Tendou go out for dinner once every month and they’re sitting there drinking fancy wine and catching up on the months news, and Ushijima is just softer now than he was in high school ugh plz soft Ushi

♥ I’d like to think that Tendou would grow out his hair again and wear it in a loose man bun, almost like Kenma but not y’know? And if he started dating someone he’d probably let them braid his hair the longer it gets

♥ Okay I know that Oikawa and Iwaizumi really hate Shiratorizawa and Ushijima, but like the idea of Oiks, Iwa, Ushi and Tendou all going out for drinks every now and then to laugh and “playfully” argue about their middle and high school days kinda appeals to me.Like they’re not best friends, but they have some mutual respect for each other. Idk i love all of them and I want all of them to love each other lmao

♥ Can we also talk about Hinata and Oikawa being BFF’s? So this idea lives rent free in my head 24/7, but the idea of them getting matching tattoos in a slightly hidden place (cause VB y’know) and one day it just gets revealed and Iwa and Kags are like “Dude wth”

♥ Okay and let’s talk about another idea that lives almost rent free in my head: Bokuto traveling to Brazil with Hinata since they be best buds, and Hinata shows Bokuto where he trained and they just do a lot of dude bro things y’know? I love platonic Bokuto and Hinata so much, it actually kinda hurts lmao

♥ I feel like Kiyoko and Yachi both run popular blogs. Kiyoko runs one on being a mom, and Yachi runs one on baking and stuff. They often meet up at a cute little cafe to have a coffee and to catch up!!

♥ I think that Kiyoko and Tanaka end up having a girl and boy, and the boy has a lot of Kiyoko’s personality traits while the girl is a lot like Tanaka

♥ I’m just gonna lay it out there, I think Yachi would marry an angry looking female who’s actually even softer than Yachi herself

♥ Whenever Oikawa has a huge press meeting or something, he gets a manicure beforehand so that his hands look neat (and sometimes he’ll force Iwaizumi to come with)

♥ Sometimes Matsunn and Makki like to sneak out to Oikawa’s hotel whenever he’s back in Japan, just so they can harass and prank him for the entire night. Bonus points if they get really drunk, too

♥ Hinata and Bokuto have never had a Bang (which is a super caffeinated energy drink) and Atsumu brings some in to try from America. When they drink it, he instantly regrets that decision, because Hinata and Bokuto are literally vibrating. Which is an omen for what’s to come in about 30 seconds-

♥ Bokuto and Kuroo regularly kiss each other's cheeks and heads (only while wearing socks though) as a sign of broship. Also sometimes cuddles

♥ I would like to believe that someday after the Olympics every single character in Haikyuu gets together again and they all just end up in a large gym catching up and playing volleyball again. Oikawa and Hinata team up to play against Kageyama and Ushijima, and Iwaizumi is watching from the side with his eye out on Oiks because of his knee. And then Suga is finally setting again and there’s just so much happiness in his eyes, and Kuroo is blocking all of Kenma’s dumps. Ugh and Akaashi is setting to Bokuto again and Bokuto is literally crying while he’s spiking because he just missed playing with Akaashi so much. And Goshiki and Shirabu are actually working together and have gained mutual respect for each other even though Shirabu still makes smart remarks. Omg omg and then Tsukishima ends up playing on the same team as Bokuto, Kuroo, and Akaashi and they’re watching him whoop ass and they’re just having flashbacks to that first training camp when they met him!! And Kenma gets to set for Hinata, and Yaku and Noya are going head to head to see who’s the better Libero! There’s too many characters that I could keep talking about So I’m gonna stop but come on that’s some real sentimental shit right there lmao. Actually you know what I’m gonna make a whole other post dedicated to this scenario lmao idk

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oftenderweapons · 4 years ago

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The Calm After the Storm - maknae line

Pairing: maknae line member x reader

Wordcount: 1.1-1.2k words each

Genre: smut, fluff

Rating: 18+

Hello jell-o to everyone again! I usually try to publish by Sunday night but it’s exam season so I’m a bit busy with uni. Also, Jin’s part was super difficult to start but then boom, it turned out to be the longest, so every delay is due to that and I refuse to postpone again so I’m publishing it unedited. Might reread in a couple days and actually edit the post. Every piece is about 1100-1200 words (they’re getting longer and longer!)

The original theme for the week was going to be aftercare, but me being a chaotic mess made me go a little bit wilder than just aftercare. I tried to adjust every scenario to how each boy would approach intimacy with his partner, and how each couple would recover from different types and degrees of interaction, It also depends a lot on the kind of ideal girlfriend I imagine for each of the boys.

TRIGGER WARNINGS: ahem. It’s very descriptive, some parts more than others. So, let’s get this started. Oral sex galore (highly recommended if you’re a fan of being eaten out yay!) crude language, unprotected sex within a safe and established relationship (please be careful guys, use condoms and dental dams I can’t recommend it enough), voyeurism, overstimulation, biting, spanking, some bold PDA, cockwarming (you know who that is), sex toys (more specifically ben-wa balls), slight angst/insecurity/trauma due to toxic masculinity

Member disclaimers: Jimin is a brat and we all know it, can actually dom but need aftercare afterwards, I love him loads, he’s my squishy and I’m gonna protect him for life. Taehyung is an art freak and an overall freak whoa yeah, let’s move on (also, Where, When and How pt.2, The Return of The Sex Toys). JK goes from soft boy to hard dom to soft boy again in 0.2 seconds and I still don’t know why or how. He’s young and wants some fun and loves his girlfriend because she’ll always embrace his softer side and have fun with his naughtier/playful side. Enjoy!

Here you can find the hyung line

And here you can find my masterlist

Jimin

“Who’s been a good girl?” He teased, the tip of his sex resting on your entrance.

“I have.” You beamed, satisfaction filling your voice as he smiled down at you, his spare hand gently reaching for your cheek, caressing your face and slipping his thumb in your mouth.

“You have, my princess, indeed.” He pushed the tip inside. It was the loveliest shade of pink, pillowy and thick where it attached to the shaft. You knew it very well since you love looking at it and you were just done having it in you mouth for almost forty minutes. You had provoked him endlessly, keeping him on your tongue without moving, just the tip laying there, your lips wrapped delicately around it. No suction, no friction, just there. In the meantime his hand had started toying with the hem of your panties, finally moving them aside, letting one of his fingers rub on your skin.

“Please, Jimin. I’ve been so good.” You dragged your vowels as you breathed out, getting adjusted to the feeling of him inside you. His size was all you needed, not too much and not too little. His dick was the most beautiful you had ever seen, the colour, the texture and the dimensions making it look so pretty you didn’t feel the usual embarrassment or fear that you usually felt while approaching your previous partners.

“It’s all yours, love.” He said with a small grunt. He got relatively more quiet and whiny as he kept pushing in and out of you, staying close to you, the position so intimate you felt like he was becoming your whole world, his hips working their magic on you.

“Are you gonna cum for me, princess?” He asked, his hips keeping up the pace.

“Yeah, so close.” You gritted out of your closed teeth.

“Good.” He moved his mouth to your chest, your left nipple engorged in his pretty pout.

“A little faster, please.” You asked.

“Such nice manners. You aren’t giving me any reason to punish you, princess. Such a good girl.” He praised you again.

This kind of role reversal didn’t happen very often, but sometimes Jimin liked taking care of you, reminding you that he is both your boy and your man. That he can be whatever you want him to be. He needs to feel like you could never do without him. You addressed this sense of inadequateness of his, every now and then, reassuring him and helping him state his own self and his needs.

“Do you like it? That I’m doing exactly what you want me to?” You asked, but you both knew you were asking whether he felt like being harsher and punish you.

“You like obeying me, pet?” He asked, his voice dripping in sugar as he pronounced your nickname.

“I love you, Jimin.” You said softly.

He almost mewled at that, reassured by how that sentence, that feeling meant that he was at your own level, how much of a praise it was to be your equal, to be strong enough to match you, to own you.

“Are you close?” He asked, his thrusts becoming more intense. “I want to take you from behind but if you’re close I can keep going.”

“From behind, please.” You squealed, already eager to change position.

He grinned and slipped out of you, the shift happening so quickly you felt a bit dizzy when you realised your face was pressed on the pillow, your ass up in the air as he entered you again. He started slamming into you his hands pressing your ass against his hips, the sound warning you that the whole attitude had changed too.

“You like it like this, princess? You like getting it all dirty and rowdy?” He groaned, his voice anything but his usually loving and obedient self.

You emitted a muffled ‘yes’ as your hand reached your clit.

“You touching yourself, ____?” He said, using one hand to turn your face towards him. “You better come quick or else you’ll have to lick me till I’m hard again. You’re not gonna cum without my cock inside you, understood?”

“Yes, sir.” The title riled him up enough to get his pace a bit faster, sending you miles deep into pleasure.

His cry echoed yours, signaling his own orgasm. After taking a couple deep breaths he slipped out of you, removing the condom and getting rid of it quickly. He was in your arms again a couple seconds later, laying by your side, one leg entwined around yours, his arms hugging your middle, his head nuzzling in between your breasts.

“You alright sweetie?” You asked.

“I feel so good when I see you that happy. Fills me with joy.” He kissed your breastbone, then, as you lifted his chin with your forefinger, he pressed his lips to yours.

“Do you need anything? Some water? A snack? Shall we get in the shower?” You caressed his hair back, looking at how sweaty he was.

“A shower would be amazing. But I want you close.”

“Would you prefer a bath?” You kissed his forehead. He was all small smiles and fidgeting with your fingers.

“Yes, please.”

“Such manners, always so perfect.” You almost snickered at the contrast between him right now and the man he’d been a few minutes ago.

“Let’s go.” You said, sitting up before he got too tired to get out of bed. “You look amazing, babe.” You couldn’t help but comment, looking at him sprawled on the covers.

He smiled, his pupils disappearing behind his crinkled lids, then he stood up, thinking whether he should wear something or not and feeling insecure for a second, but then following your cue he decided to stay naked.

As you slipped into the tub you let him slide in with his back against your chest, hugging him to you, your nose nuzzling the top of his head. “Is it to your taste?”

“Yes, thank you babe.” He replied. “I really like your bath soap.” He yawned, smiling some more as you caught him. He looked ten times lovelier right now. You felt that fuzzy feeling in your stomach intensifying, and you began rubbing the tense muscles on his back out of fondness and gratitude. “That's truly amazing.”

“You are truly amazing.” You kissed his nape and continued with your caregiving, washing his hair, rinsing him, helping him out of the shower, drying him and applying some lotion over his skin, smiling at him with your eyes through the reflection on the mirror as you brushed your teeth while sharing the sink.

“I love you,” you whispered in his ear as you hugged him under the sheets.

“I love you, too.” That’s bliss.

Taehyung

“Don’t you dare move, you little demon.”

With a forceful hammering of his hips against your bottom, Taehyung slammed into you at an impossible pace, finally snapping forward as he lost his regular rhythm and bent down, his head propped on the back of your neck, his breath fanning out along your spine before he grunted the manliest sound you had ever heard.

You were shocked: laying there, ass up, your boyfriend collapsed on top of you with his exceedingly long dick planted inside you, its girth becoming slightly less bearable as the high of your climax ebbed away.

“Tae, it’s so good.” You moaned. “Too much.”

“Stay put, love.” He helped you lay down, without any intention of parting from you.

“We can’t stay like this forever.”

“Watch me.” He replied cockily.

The whole night had been wildly unusual. It had all started in the afternoon. You had been to an art gallery where the whole exhibition verted on photographs of naked bodies painted into art. He had held you tight, his hand gripping your waist, his thumb fooling around the hem of your jeans, tentatively trying to slither under the fabric. He had asked you about your favourite, pointing out pieces he was very enthusiastic about. You had looked at him baffled as he pointed out the picture of a woman with two big breasts and a Virgin Mary painted on her belly, the model’s pubic hair painted a strange rainbow mesh of colours as if simulating a cloud from which the painting was emerging.

You had been slightly uncomfortable standing before it, but the rest of it hadn’t been that extreme. Well, except for another couple pictures.

One had also attracted your attention. In the back of the gallery one very explicit picture had sparked something between the two of you. As you walked in you thought it was just an empty room but as you turned around you saw a giant poster of a vagina, every detail so precise that you asked yourself what kind of lens and camera could take a picture with such impressive high quality. On the women's thighs seven lines of paint mimicked two branches of a rainbow leading to the model’s inner labia, while a sun — or a halo — surrounded the clit. The poster occupied the whole wall, at least three metres tall and five metres wide.

You were standing in the middle of the room, taking in every detail, seriously impressed by the piece. You were as tall as her slit, for God's sake…

"It looks like you really like this one." Taehyung said, hugging you from behind, his nose toying with your earlobe. His voice made your insides tremble.

"I really get it." Taehyung said. "I would do that too." Silence stretched as he got caught in his thoughts and fantasies. "Your pussy's so good I would take an absurdly high quality picture of it and have it printed as if it were wallpaper and installed in a private room in my apartment and simply sneak in sometimes and stand in front of it and just admire it."

You kept looking ahead, too caught by the luscious way his hips pressed against the small of your back. "Your cunt is art, babe." He whispered and pressed some more into you. "Literally paradise. I'd lick it for days and fuck it till I can't even get hard anymore."

You tried to get your mouth to salivate again. He was playing it dirty. And the fact that you had to go back home and get ready for a nice dinner together and a night at the club with Jimin and his girlfriend made you even more tense. You knew you would have to wait for some relief.

As you reached your apartment Taehyung decided to pick your clothes and have you get ready right in front on him. He settled on the bed, sitting, as you rolled on your stockings and wore a suspender belt that matched your underwear. Slowly you let your deep green silk slip-on dress roll down your body, and you felt his hands stretch towards you, grabbing you by the waist. You stood at the edge of the bed, his chin propped on your belly. "My dove, I have a question for you."

"Yes," you replied, your hands pushing his hair back.

He showed you a blue velvet pouch and you smirked. "Do you want to?"

"You wanna help me wear them?" He nodded.

And that's how you found yourself grinding on him desperately in the club after he had fed you chocolate-covered strawberries for dessert. Not that you complained about that. But the Ben-Wa balls heavily rolling and rubbing against your g-spot were making it difficult for you to fully enjoy your night out. Especially since every time you closed your eyes you saw Taehyung's lips wrapping around them and lubricating them before he helped you insert them.

It didn't take long for the two of you to get too desperate to care about decency, but since you needed to think about Taehyung's reputation you decided to call it a night and feign tiredness in front of Jimin's eyes — who called both of you out on your state of arousal and blessed your intentions for the rest of the night, letting you go home without making too much of a fuss.

When you arrived at the apartment you were both too impatient to reach the bedroom and used the sofa to dull the edges of your needs, Taehyung staring at you wide eyed, kneeling on the floor between your legs while you rubbed yourself passionately. As you reached your first high he dove in between your thighs, his mouth landing on your clit, sucking on it devotedly, eyes fixed on yours. Overstimulation hit you hard, the geisha balls still moving inside you. He made you cum again with his tongue lapping and lashing at your wetness.

He carried you to the bedroom in silence, his gaze dark and desperate, completely oblivious to the way his long and heavy sex strained against his linen slacks. Laying back, you let him tower over you, teasing the underside of his erection as he took off your dress definitively. "You're so beautiful." You whispered religiously.

"Are you talking to me or my cock?"

You chuckled lightly. "Mostly to you."

"Mostly…" He mused.

He pressed his hand to your belly, removing the silver spheres from inside you.

"Mostly, uh?" With that he entered you violently, thrusting in with one smooth, powerful stroke.

"Tae—" You whined. He kept doing you like that, with evenly paced, blunt thrusts. However, since you kept teasing him with the firm squeezing of your inner walls encouraged by your own fingers brushing your clit, he pulled out of you, flipping you around and pushing your backside up, entering you once more. It didn't take long for him to get lost in his own rhythm, for his hand to come up to your tender spot and rub you until your legs gave out.

And now heavy with the sleepiness of bliss, you questioned whether your boyfriend was intending to get out of you. "Tae, baby, we should get cleaned."

"Let me stay inside, love. Please. I feel like I'll want to go at it again in a while, just let me stay in." He muttered, his hands pressing against your hips to keep you close.

"You sure you don't need anything?" You asked again, knowing how needy he could get when he gets sleepy.

"Just you pressed up and around me. This is heaven."

A small laugh. How could you deny him?

Jungkook

You had loved every second of it. The gentle way he had kissed you on the sofa, and how he had carried you to bed. How delicately he had touched you and held you, how he had made love to you. It had all been amazing. Until the initial feelings of fondness and devotion gave way to a hunger deeper and more desperate. Then he had pushed you around, sitting himself up on the balls of his feet, dragging you up with him in the process. You could still feel the echo of the beastly groan he had emitted against your ear as he let your back slide down his chest, his sex entering you and reaching so deep inside you. Your head had rolled back against his shoulder as one of his hands grabbed your breast and played with your nipple.

“You like it, don’t you? You like me so deep inside you.” He had stated, his tone so arrogant. “No wonder you can never get enough of me.” He picked you up by the waist, using you as if you were nothing but a cocksleeve, dragging you up and down his dick. “That’s it. That’s what you like. Being a lazy princess and making me do all the work. You love it when I force you a little, don’t you.” He dropped you down with exceptional violence, moving one hand to squeeze your breast, the other angling your face towards him. “Answer me.”

“Yes.” You replied, almost unconsciously. You were willing to do whatever could please him, make him start again.

“Yes what?” He grabbed your other breast, his hand heavy and possessive.

“Yes, I adore when you use me.”

“That’s my little toy. So mature and composed, but so dirty. You love that I get all those naughty things you like.” The way he propped his hands behind his back and leaned on them shifted the angle once more, his hips snapping back and forth with a mind shattering intensity.

“Come on. Get it how you like it.” He freed one of his hands to slap your ass. It didn’t take that long for the both of you to orgasm, especially after he moved the hand on your chest upwards, his fingers merely resting around your neck, without even needing to hold it, while his other hand worked your clit matching the rhythm of the contractions of your insides.

He clinged to you almost desperately when his high subsided, his hold almost too tight. You were trying to compensate for the lack of contact during the latest round, your hands struggling to find any part of him that you could hold, until your fingers intertwined with his over your left breast.

“I thought I would lose you during the last month. I was never home.” You understood his insecurities. You also thought he would find someone more suitable to his career, someone who could understand what it means to belong to that world.

“I thought anyone could make you see how much of a shitty boyfriend I am.”

You let him continue.

“I thought you would meet a smart university kid at campus, or that cute barista at the coffee shop at the end of the street. I thought of how they would court you, all the attentions, the pretty dates, the small gifts. I thought of them taking you out for dinner, of them taking you home. Trying to kiss you. Sometimes, late at night, I asked myself if you would invite them upstairs. It always got me so fucking mad. Once I almost hit my personal trainer because I was thinking of that. He got mad, told me to keep my head in the game.” He was still inside you, you could feel his shaft throbbing softly, as if it was his heartbeat. Maybe it was just an impression. His head fell to your shoulder.

“I would never, and you know it.”

“I know, but some part of me can’t help but go there. If you could only see the way men look at you when you’re not watching. And our relationship being private only means that they don't know that you’re taken. Makes them think that they’re allowed to look at you like that. I feel so hopeless whenever they act all bold. I can’t be like that. I can’t give you the time and attentions they can give you. Because of who I am, because of me being so fucking shy...”

“I love you.” You said, as if it were a magic spell that could fix all his insecurities. You turned your head to look at him. “And right now you’re inside me. You’ve made me cum twice tonight, with nothing but your body, the way you moved on top of me, behind me, inside me.” He blushed a bit at that.

You loved talking with him after sex. It was so common for the two of you. Sex was like a key to open a secret place of vulnerability and intimacy. All the confessions Jungkook had offered you in bed, laying close to you, protected by you, had very often come in the aftermath of bliss. “I am with you,” you continued, leading him to lay on your side.

“I wanna stay inside you, but I also want to face you, look you in the eye.”

“Same here.” You needed to see his face.

“And I also need a snack.” He considered. He took a long pause. You waited for him to formulate his thought. “If you ever realised you’re no longer happy with me, you would tell me, right?”

“Of course I would tell you. However, I think you should know I don’t think that could happen in this life or in any on the next ones.”

He giggled. “I can’t wait to get you away from anyone. We should do like Namjoon hyung and his girlfriend: get on a private island for vacation. Wear nothing all day. Stay in bed for how long we want. Swim when we want. Make love under the stars. God, that’s heaven.”

“You would miss the guys, you know it.” You smiled knowingly.

“Just a week or so. A quick getaway.” Some part of his mind was already plotting.

“I’ll see what I can do. But would you resist without working out?”

“We could workout together,” he mused naively.

“Yeah, yeah...” you conceded, voice dripping in irony.

“Can I carry you to the kitchen to grab a snack?”

“Maybe if you turned me around and I held on you like a koala bear?” You chuckled

“Do you think that if I lay on my back and you sit up and turn around I can get you to climb me like a koala-bear without me having to get out of you?” He asked, the honesty in his voice getting you to fully laugh out loud.

“I think that’s called corkscrew — it’s a corkscrew if you turn around me… whatever” You thought out loud.

“Let’s try! Ready? Three, two, one, Go!” You both laughed at your attempt, joy filling your hearts.

—————the following morning —————

“So, uhm...”

“No.”

“But—”

“No.”

“Please.”

“Guk, listen, I love you, but you’re not dragging me to the gym at eight a.m. on a Sunday morning after what we did last night.”

“But I love you. Like, a lot.”

“No amount of love will ever fix the organs you so thoroughly rearranged last night.”

“I’m sorry.” He looked like a scolded puppy. “But it’s not like you didn’t like it. You actually begged for it at some point.”

“So rude of you to remind me of that.”

“Sorry. I love you.” He kissed the tip of your nose.

“I love you too. Now go back to sleep.”

“Okay.” He palmed your chest lovingly and closed his eyes again.

#bangtan sonyeondan #bts imagine #bts reaction #bts #jimin x reader #taehyung x reader #jungkook x reader #jimin imagine #taehyung imagi #jungkook imagine

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