#I’m just bad with ideas in general
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I have been thinking about dipping my toes back into writing in the absence of ideas for drawing things. Anyone want to suggest ideas for little one shot stories or other vague short story ideas related to mysme?
#mystic messenger#writing#i don’t even know#I’m just bad with ideas in general#the drive is there the ideas are not lol
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it’s early in the morning so i can’t phrase this well but there’s something interesting about rose and jason as people who try to be their own kind of vigilante outside of their father’s influence and yet still have all the visual elements that clearly label them as being That Man’s Kid
#also like. rose being part of the titans and generally working against the expectation she’s a bad person based on said visuals#and jason pushing back against the idea he has to be a good guy and play by the rules just bc he was a Robin#I don’t know what I’m saying. but I’m saying it.#text.tb#holy identity crisis batman!
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Does anyone want some Bloodmoon doodles? I’ll just leave them here for y’all
#I have a favorite#and of that favorite and in my aus of them I have a favorite#sams au#Quiet Throes in Pooling Oil#sams bloodmoon#tsams bloodmoon#sams bloodtwins#doodle dump#is this technically spoilers of them post-fic? yeah#look I wanted to draw them chillin’ and I couldn’t do that with them still in the fic arc#oh and fun fact! I have been rotating the idea of them experiencing hallucinations in my brain for a bit#Sun hallucinates New Moon hallucinated(?) Moon as well. why shouldn’t Bloodmoon?#it’s only happen when they’re under extreme stress of course I’m thinking October 2024 since they basically lock themselves in the bunker—#—the whole month without even telling KC or Sol where they are so the isolation and general bad memories would definitely press on them#not to mention their insistence on not sleeping#anyways—#yeah Bloodmoon#I love them#Bloody and Harvest just chillin’
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Had to ask for a religious/ethical exemption for a digital art assignment to get out of having to use genAI. On an assignment. In university. I feel like I’m going insane.
The professor said he “wasn’t aware that there was any ethical issues with AI”, but that he had no problem coming up with an alternative assignment for me to do. Like I’m glad he’s accommodating but. Sir.
Ok. I understand some rando on the streets not being aware of the ethical issues surrounding genAI. Most people do not have the time and energy to devote to giving a fuck about things that don’t directly affect them and I can respect that. It’s rough out there. But you are a professional graphic designer, and a college professor, in digital art. How. How do you not know. How are you requiring your students to do this in class and just not knowing. Why are you shocked that a student might object to being required to use the Art Theft Glacier Melter 9000 for a grade. This should not be a surprise to you. Why is this a surprise. Am I fucking crazy
#fellas is it weird to think stealing is wrong and destroying the planet is a bad idea actually#it’s bad enough I have to use adobe at all man I’m not using the genAI#he wanted us to generate reference images with AI. Sir we’ve been using free stock images all semester why can’t we just keep doing that#why do you need me to generate a picture of a panda. those already exist. for free. and they aren’t even stolen or anything#like a human person took a picture of a panda. then they put that on the internet with a license that tells us we can use it however#why the fuck are we using ai. like I get mentioning it. for education. but why are you making us use it#gen ai#genai#anti genai#art stuff#university stuff#digital art#local queer classicist posts#did this make any sense I’m really tired honestly
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not to bring tiktok drama on tumblr but like every time a ‘scandal’ comes out with one of these ‘production companies’ that make fan films i always hope we’re finally gonna discuss how they professionalize something that should be an hobbyist endeavor… and yet every single time i’m disappointed.
#like I know we’ve been talking about it here on tumblr and i remember seeing like one or two videos on tt about it#but other than that creators really don’t seem to be engaging critically with the impact that the very nature of what they’re doing has#and look i truly do love the art that some of the people involved in the project make#like arone is truly one of the most talented cosplayers i know#ethan is an amazing actor and I’ve followed him since before he was even in the marauders#dorian is a great writer and idk the others as well but I’m sure they are all great artists#((naming the just cause i feel like being vague would be worse in this case))#and i do believe they engaged with the project with the best of intentions#without knowing or trying to afford grace on past controversy#and it truly is a horrible predicament to have your work be tainted like that for something you had no control over#but like i do think we should be questioning the very idea of how this fanfilms have been made is inherently a problem#like fanfilms are essentially fanfiction on camera#so as long as a few cosplayers want to get together with their iphones write a script and shoot at the local park I don’t have a problem#but if you are putting in place a product that somehow requires you to fundraise consistently for two years then I have a problem with it#ESPECIALLY IF YOU ARE SELLING THE SCRIPT TO DO SO#cause even if that script hadn’t been ai generated#that script is fanfiction and you do. not. sell. fanfiction.#seriously like… do we need to go over our abc again?#like fanart and cosplayers are a bit different in the sense that people sell fanart/do commissions and they can be professional cosplayers#but for any other fanmade project that requires you to put pen to paper (or keyboard to chatgpt ig)#you need to be engaging with several ethical questions regarding any exchange of money#and personally i don’t think that there’s been engagement with those ethical reflections#and this isn’t about any of the people involved and not even about mischief productions specifically#it’s about a wider issue in how we have been collectively normalizing a way of doing things that should not be normal#and like yes star using ai and being overall not good is bad but like can we talk about EVERYTHING ELSE please
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the dichotomy of arikenny is some days i wake up to them carrying me piggyback up a mountain trail and telling me they have a surprise (they’re gonna show me the fireworks :3) but other days i wake up in the middle of the woods with my hands tied behind my back and a note on the ground next to me that just says run <3 . and i just have to deal with that
#little mouse and a big bad wolf#they’re so deranged but it’s . a cute & fun dynamic in my brain 💀#also probably violently detrimental to my anxiety#and mental health in general#but that’s okay <3#recently i have been thinking abt kenny just moving me around while i’m asleep#sometimes they just stare at me until i wake up#but then . other times. they get the aforementioned ideas#i am not Safe#ari noises ✩#selfshippy stuff ✩#kenny !! ✩
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I'm sure that there s a perfectly good reason, but it's just really funny to me that Pompeyo has beef with a teenager (Marcus). What a way to NOT copy Sulla
lmaoo yeah
honestly, it’s very one sided: Pompeyo is trying so hard to get along with Marcus and it’s just not clicking because Marcus distrusts him for being a (former) political ally of Felix.
like, from Marcus' point of view, Pompeyo let Felix fuck Crasso over for his own gain, and fully expects Pompeyo to behave exactly like Felix once Pompeyo fully realigns himself with Crasso. Marcus really only acts civil to Pompeyo because of Publius (who. god. he needs a new name so bad. Paolo? Paris? I might give up trying to pick a name that begins with P and just name him Celestino or something, tbh), and even then. the civility is debatable.
later tho! it takes two events that happen several years apart from each other, but they do come to an Understanding. Pompeyo is actually totally unaware of the moment that Marcus decides that Pompeyo is part of the family.
Marcus still gives Pompeyo a lot of shit, but it's no longer actively hostile. just regular, garden variety fucking around (affectionate) and making Pompeyo's life a little bit difficult on purpose because it's kind of funny.
#I’m thinking of changing Marcus’ name to Mark to give him another degree of separation between him and his historical namesake#I’ll have to do some sample dialogue scenes to see how it goes#ask tag#anyway. i actually miss so much people stopping by at 11 and pulling out the coffee mugs and the instant coffee and sitting around#uh. wait. this might need a cw#what's. the cw for famine related hunger#cw starvation //#cw child death //#bad governance the series#WAHOO anyway it's all rough drafts so you get to see all of my blocking notes. subject to change the next time i do edits etc#like already ive decided that the weight of marcus changing his opinion on pompeyo has another part to it i just didn't have it#sketched out. so for now. this is the general very barebones idea of the scene
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Listen to me right now. Picture this. Steve’s parents are as uptight and shitty as they are always depicted in fics. But in a small duration with which they are home, Steve decides to have the gang over. His mom has been badgering him about meeting his friends. They meet and unsurprisingly are not too over the moon about steves choice in friends. But they’re the type of people to talk about others when they’ve left the room. So they say their quiet introductions to the group. Steve’s mom shakes everyone’s hands in a really fake cordial manner. Steve’s dad does the same. But he stops when he gets to Eddie. They all suck in a breath, half expecting some sort of insult or outburst. But neither come. Instead, Steve’s dad jerks his hand back, and his face gets a little flushed, and he can’t find it in himself to actually look at Eddie. It’s only for a split second before he straightens back up, says his goodbyes, and holes himself up in the garage. They all sense the weird nature of it but don’t talk about it, and spend the rest of the night hanging out. Steve seems to be the only one who knows just how weird and out of character the interaction was for his dad.
The next day he catches his dad working on the family car in their driveway. He decides to address it. He expects his dad to tell him to shut up, or that it was nothing, that Steve was being stupid. But he doesn’t. He sighs or closes his eyes like he wishes he could wish Steve away for a minute. Steve notices the color coming back to his cheeks, and his jaw working like he’s trying to keep himself from crying. He looks Steve dead in the eyes.
“You just had to be friends with the munson boy”
And he stalks off. And Steve’s perplexed. He hadn’t remembered mentioning Eddie’s last name. His parents weren’t in hawkin’s enough and didn’t care to know about the whole drama surrounding Eddie. So how did he know?
It’s only later, months or maybe years later, when Steve’s going through his dad’s things that he finds pictures. Tons of them. Pictures of his dad looking younger and happier. And along side him, in almost all of them, is a young man with long dark hair , dark eyes and a shit eating grin. There are pictures of lake trips. Some of them of the dark haired stranger is under the hood of a car. Some they even have their arms locked around each other, or their hands interlocking. The man looks almost identical to Eddie Munson. On the back of the pictures are dates spanning months(maybe even years) and names. One name belonging to Steve’s dad and the other belonging to none other than Eddie’s own father.
#stranger things#steve harrington#eddie musnon#this idea just came to me okay#nobody come after my neck#i’m emotional#steddie#look I need more parent lore okay#I am a victim of generational trauma#happy go lucky young adult turned shitty parent because of one bad experience” is something I know very well
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#like. i have a lot of shit wrong with me and i think generally an accurate idea of that stuff#i get that#but i’m always alone. all day all the time i’m just. alone#other people are also flawed. without being always alone#in fact Every one of the biggest assholes i know has person(s) that’s intentionally and voluntarily merged intimate daily lives w them#so like. of all my known problems#i still don’t understand which is the searing neon red flag#that MUST be visible and obvious to everybody else#what about me is so bad? what about me is so much shittisr and worse to be around than other people#or is it something missing? something other people have and i don’t? because i don’t know what that is either#there’s a point where a generally positive opinion of yourself breaks down p rapidly#and that’s when you realize for just how long#and by how many people#you’ve been passed up#like you can think you’re great all you want#and that’s generally important. and can help bridge lonely gaps here and there#but you go a certain length of time where you can’t seem to get anybody else to agree that you’re#worth anybody else’s time or care in a serious and real way#and it’s like oh okay well. so in the real world i’m not worth anything then. that’s what that means#you know. like. me deciding i Am Good is arbitrary and unfounded n doesn’t mean anything#shrugggggggggggg
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boo *exu calamity au’s your bad kids*
#riz cerrit gorgug laerryn kristen zerxus fig loquatius adaine patia & fabian nydas btw. if anyone cares#(nightmare king era cass as asmodeus… obviously w/ fig instead but ayda evandrin… ANYWAYSSS)#i can’t remember her name but that One Bitch patia & laerryn hated is kipperlily copperkettle… patia as adaine for that let’s go haters!#need to do a rewatch honestly just to Remember shit also to maybe fully flesh this out#like i have a lot of thoughts here that i could expand upon rn but i’ve forgotten SO many parts of calamity atp bc i’m not into cr &-#have only watched it fully the one time & just generally rewatched certain parts idk how many times#me trying to explain how nydas’s perspective shift with the prophecy is sooo fabian but i can’t remember literally anything: so uh… because-#fantasy high#the bad kids#listen these tags might not be saying much of anything but when i say fig gorgug ayda loquatius laerryn evandrin TRUST ME ok… it’s sooo#same w/ zerxus asmodeus kristen nk!cassandra#also thing i think is funny: purvan or whoever is tracker & trackerbees are still exes and there’s just CRAZYYYY gay tension in every scene#wait i’m sorry even more stupid idea: yk how nydas has the hodmedods? fabian has those rats that show hole. there’s truly an army of them
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can’t sleep therefore. brainstorming
#the fic thang trying to write again#didn’t exactly like where the last one was headed orz#and it threw f*li under the bus which. i don’t want to do! she’s fun when she ain’t written like how she was in 20th#also while i’d like to stick to canon as close as possible i fuckign love the comet trio family fics they’re great#i’ll just tone down the obsession thing if i get to it. big if tho love of that kind ain’t a thing i’m really interested in#who knows tho could be a fun exercise. or just fun to explore in general. speaking from a complete lack of experience here akajdhsk#blurry babbles#i need a refresher on landmarks in primp tho if you guys could tell me where nahe is in relation to the town that would be Awesome#like a map or something the one on nexus didn’t really clear anything up for me#getting ideas down for the thing tho and the characters i’d want in it. disorganized as hell but it’s helping i think.#might be forgetting a few that could really work here memory bad and bedtime was 2 hours ago :’)#i’ll check the wiki later but i like the one(1) other guy i settled on. limiting myself here cause i think lemmy would get out of school-#earlier than the primp kids and also maybe f*li (sure it’s a middle/highschool thing going on here)#don’t know exactly how those work tho i’d have to google that in the morning. she won’t be here tho i think idk still brainstorming#anyway gonna stop talking now woo#also the whiplash in this document. you get character speculations then the next line is my uncle at sega tell me now akajdhsk.#keeps me motivated i guess
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Fanon is so funny sometimes. Like, both unironically and ironically. Anyway, still an anti of Fanon!Tim but that’s just on his personality. When he’s like actually a person, I do still find fanon concepts interesting, like him being the Wayne’s neighbor or the whole photographer stalker thing.
And before I got really fed up with the generalized Tim characterizations, I did like to read the fanon “Tim becomes Robin to rescues Batman from himself” angst trope. I think it’s fun to think about Tim kinda just slowly inserting himself into their lives like trying to attract a stray cat. It’s a bit more emotionally involved than the actual events of A Lonely Place of Dying imo. Like, the storyline literally ends with Tim getting a pat on the back from Batman and just becoming Robin right after. Like, Tim is the quintessential 90s-early 00s YA protagonist (almost like the comics equivalent of HP). There’s a reason he’s so fucking popular.
Anyway, this whole post is just me realizing that so many fanon Batfam fans don’t actually know the events of A Lonely Place of Dying. Like 2F is usually constricted to “arms bearer mob boss” in fanon spaces but he’s got So Much history with Batman and the Robins. I haven’t read the Two Face storyline with Damian’s Robin run yet, but it looks super interesting. Two-Face doesn’t get as much attention as Joker does nowadays, and that’s such a fucking shame. He really should be more popular, but it’s Joker who gets the spotlight because he did actually succeed in murdering Jason and marking an irreparable change in tone in DC even though 2F did it first by beating Dick’s Robin to shit.
#personal#dc#this is super generalized#I’m probably wrong#but this is what I understand#anyway I like 2F more than Joker#he’s just not executed as well as he could be#even though conceptually he SHOULD be the most intriguing#like he was Gotham’s White Knight as DA!#and now he’s a major recurring villain!#who literally stars in some of the most character focused issues#but the puns are So Bad#at least joker can be funny ironically#Starkid’s Two Face is probably a good idea of how the general public perceive 2F#and that’s such a shame#harvey dent
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life is like a metronome sometimes I reread my fics and go “heehee silly fun times” and other times I can’t get past 3 sentences with out going “NO this is CRINGE and BAD everyone that has ever said something nice about my work is a LIAR and an ENABLER and just FEELS BAD FOR ME” actually that says less about life and More about My Issues I think 🤔
#go back to therapy challenge. maybe In the new year#no actual hostility towards anyone that is nice 2 me lol#I simply just feel Insecure 🧍 but that’s a ME PROBLEM!!!#I’m on my lunch break writing my Kalim fic (???) (Idk Hes Kinda the pov protag) in my phone#chapter 2….. lol I was outlining it the other day like general points I want it to have#and like I have a GENERAL idea of where I want it to go. kind of.#but I really am kinda going into this blind#it’s ok it’s not meant to be a long deep fic#just like idk maybe a handful of chapters#but like I said. I’m much more used to writing the jami/azu so that’s kinda been the driver of the story#so much that I keep forgetting the silver/kalim part lol OUGHHH#lads idk if I’m gonna be able to pull this off. but I must try 🫡#it’s ok if it’s bad I do not have to make a masterpiece but hhhhhh#I will be embarrased if I forget to include key points HAHA hdjfvjdjdjdjfjgj#knowing WHEN to introduce certain parts is the toughie#cuz there’s stuff I want to happen and things I want ppl to say but#lol organizing hard…. pacing hard…. we’ll see lads we’ll see#that’s why we r doing this… we r learning by doing lol 😭 DONT LOOK AT ME
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genuinely it is so depressing to spend money drinking just to end up doing nothing interesting and just sitting around
#i need friends who like. doing things.#i need more friends in general but i mean yeah.#would love to have an actual college experience one day. I’ve been in college 4 years or so and I’ve never been to a party and I’ve never#made lasting/close friendships. since pre-covid I haven’t really made friends at all#all my friends (all four of them) are from high school#it’s really fucking pathetic actually how incapable I am of making friends or having a life#and it just feels like a huge fucking waste of time and a waste of a college environment#part of me wishes I would rent at a place full of mostly other students and get a roommate I don’t know (as much as that’s a bad idea if#it’s anything like last time) just so I can be around people and be forced to meet people#also so I can avoid getting lowkey fucked over because my friends I’m supposed to be renting with eventually don’t want to pay a#significant amount of rent and I’d end up paying way more than them just because they supposedly can’t afford it (we all have about the same#income.)#gehsdhdhdhshhd#they also want to rent a place with four of us total and I just. really don’t want to live with that many people. like I think it would#drive me fucking insane. I need control over my surroundings and that leaves me with no control and I don’t like it#and a million other reasons I don’t like the idea#it was originally just supposed to be me and one friend. so. this was not the plan#hahsgshhshh anyway kill me#I’m in that post-drinking state where all pleasant affects of the alcohol have long since worn off and I’m just sort of left a hollow shell#depressed and disappointed.#and I have to go to work this afternoon woohoo awesome so cool#kibumblabs
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real talk in the tags for a second because i have a crush on a girl and i. a hehe. ahehehe.
will be burying this in reblogs and never touching on it again
#so random disclaimer this girl is like a year older than me and in high school it’s like a nono for older and younger batch to like be#a thing so i know i generally have no chance but i like to live in my own insanity and the progression of my crush on her has been absolute#ly cuckoo bananas. so like it started out as ‘i wanna be your friend’ and progressed into ‘shit they’re really pretty’ to ‘wow ur so??’ to#‘fuck i like them’ and then it died down and then by all golly it came back but more of a hallway crush now which is bearable bc i’m#not really a part of their life?? like we know each other but we don’t wave and shit and we don’t like ever interact that much so i was lik#ok this is fine bc they literally never think of me so i’m just admiring from afar. and the FIRST inciting incident was i request them onig#and i expect to not get accepted because according to their friends they onyl accept close friends and i’m like k this is a bad idea probs#but the worst that could happen is i get left in their follow requests right?? RIGHT?? but then within like two hours of reqing. lord.#i got. ACCEPTED. and they requested back. and suddenly it’s +1 tangibility like ok?? maybe we’re not as strangers as i thought we were#i later discovered i was not that special for this but also?? cool?? anyways for a while it kind of laid dead and we never spoke at all eve#tho i was in their acc now (at this time they barely posted but whenever they did it was so?? funny like they would slap the randomest shit#on that acc) and it was still a hallway crush altho my friends r awful (/pos) people who would always make me pass their hallway and i#would run into them so often but at this point we only ever like exchanged glances and they would walk right past me like i wasnt even ther#but THEN the second incident happened which was basically we had to play instruments for this christmas event thing and bc they’re literall#y amazing they played for it and i was roped into it and. i was so gay the whole time. bc who wears a leather jacket to school and gets the#prettiest haircut ever right on the last day before a long break?? and the worst part is whenevr something confusing happened they would#turn to me and this one other person and we’d b laughing together. like we r friends. and they’re so fucking nice they were checking up on#us the whole time i was literally dying i kept dropping my pick and stealing looks AURURUGH and they’re so gen funny and interesting i just#and the first few days of holiday break i just couldn’t stop thinking abt them it was so bad? like that was the moment where i was genuinel#like is this more than a hallway crush… eventually it died back down until the next event we had to play together where they were being SO#SO much more comf w me? like exchanging knowing looks when smt funny happens and that stuff.. at this point i didnt even know what to like#think of my crush on them so i just let it be yk. atp they’re not even waving at me in the hallways at all still so maybe they’re just bein#nice! BUT NO. THAT IS UNTIL I AUDITIONED FOR A BAND (theyr in charge of accepting) AND THEY ACCEPTED ME WHICH COOL BUT LIKE A DAY LATER I#HEARD FROM OUR MUTUAL FRIEND THAT THEY SAID ‘yeaa im so happy i got (my name)’ AS IN IN THE BAND. LIKE. HELLO?? HI U THIUGHT ABT ME?? and#during the first band mtg where everyone’s all awk they kept making eye contact w me and asking if i was good and making sure i got to say#smt before anyone made a decision and it. murdered. me. i’m sorry maybe it’s the fanfic writer in me or this shit is literally nothing and#think they’re just nice to everyone but who cares bc it means they’re nice to ME too. and then last week happened. which was like the nail#in the coffin. INTERACTION ACTIVITY. I IMPULSIVELY ASK IF THEY WANNA B GROUPMATES AND THEY SAY YES. THEY ONLY TALK TO ME AND THEIR FRIENDS.#I ACT STUPID. THEY ALUGH AND TOUCH MY SHOULDER. I ASK ABT THEIR CAMERA AND THEY GO ON A LONG-ISH (cute) RANT ABT SMTH. THEY ASK WHY I HAVE#BIG ASS STACK OF POST ITS. WE TALK. THEY LAUGH AT MY JOKES. SUDDENLY. THEY SAY A FULL HELLO IN THE HALLS. THEY WAVE AT ME A DAY LATER. FUCK
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do you have a list of what all the phighters are gonna be in your mermaid au :0
still really nervous to say who’s who because I don’t want people to copy any of my ideas because I’ve seen someone be scarily close to what I’ve been doing and stuff (no blame on them though because to be fair I guess it’s a little generic, it’s just a tad nerve racking I would say :’DD!), but you can refer to some of my older posts for what’s what :DDD! Sorry LMAO I just got anxiety and I’m silly like that
#Yeaaaaaah specifically I saw someone earlier with ideas really close to mine#And it kind of made me errrrr really nervous since I don’t want it to come off as me copying others#Yeah I know that technically a mermaid au is pretty generic but I’ve seen a lot of other people do it and yeah to be fair people do have th#Same ideas a bunch :DD!#There’s no harm in that of course and it’s not like I’m angry or anything :3!#I just don’t really want someone (specifically I’m afraid of bigger artists) to see my au and copy it to an absolute t so and then have to#Risk getting on someone’s bad side because they think I’m copying them!#So yeah :’DDD#Just refer to my older posts and I explain a lot of it there#Sorry LMAO I feel like such a jerk typing this because I don’t wanna gate keep mermaid aus#People are 100% free to make whatever they’d like for an au!#It’s really cool seeing other people come up with ideas!#Irs just a bit scary when they are SCARILY close to mine :’DD#Anyways YEAH SORRY MY GUY#Qna#cro chatter#PHIGHTING mermaid au
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