#I’m horrendously sad and I feel like this idea shows it lol

[halonicheart]

I adore Royal aus as much as the next person… I just can’t picture one for any of my OCs thus far. That could change though. Royalty aus are so fun.

I guess it mainly applies to Lovette cause I couldn’t picture her as a princess at all. Just can’t make it work in my head. So any wolchefant knight-royalty aus I live vicariously through others.

I did think of one AU though, where Royal Knight Haurchefant falls in love with a mournful spirit, a banshee. Banshee’s in modern day are misconstrued to be evil harbingers of death when originally they were far from. Where the kingdom feared this wailing women, Haurchefant found her cries hauntingly beautiful. He was warned never to find her. For countless nights he would listen for her cries with a heavy heart, aching so viscerally to cry out back to her, to comfort her…

How does one comfort a spirit? He wasn’t sure but he would damn well try even if it made him a fool. When he finally had enough of this spirit crying alone, Haurchefant ventured out into the woods in the dead of night. There, he finds a ghostly pale woman with dark flowing hair, her white dress soaked and tears streaming down her face. ‘How cruel…’ He thinks. ‘To be cursed to mourn alone..’

The woman does not speak, she can only stare in shock as this man willingly approaches her with not an ounce of fear. The spirit is even more shocked to find this strange man reaching to swipe her seemingly never ending tears. Often did her wails scare away others, it mattered not to her before, but he was different. He sought her out despite her shrieks of pain. He looked at her with nothing but kindness. For the first in a longest time, or even the first ever at all, she smiles as she grabs the hand still caressing her wet cheek.

Haurchefant is left breathless. He grew up on tales of her kind, not a single one came close. They told him they were vengeful specters, the kind that would snatch you into the grave upon eye contact, a being whose very scream could still your heart. She was none of that nonsense, quite the opposite. Just beneath her deceivingly cold surface was something warm. “Oh my… what a beautiful smile you have, my lady!”

Never before did he think a banshee could blush, her cheeks painted the palest of pinks. Haurchefant was enamored by the sight. The Knight needed, yearned to know her name. To whom should he call out for when she cries alone… and so he asks. “What do I call you…? What is your name, dear lady…” He worried she was incapable of speech due to what she was. Haurchefant was pleasantly surprised to find that she could.

In a hushed voice she answers simply “Lovette.” -and shares nothing more.

“Lovette! A most splendid name… tell me Lovette… what ails you? Why do you wail and mourn? Whom do you mourn?”

That she cannot answer. Forces beyond even her comprehension prevents her from spilling the truth. That is why she can only scream in hopes of someone understand. Even if she wanted, she would not tell this kind knight who made her feel more than just some wretched thing, that reason she mourns was for his very own coming death.

It was cruel of fate to bring him to her, even crueler she can not stop what is to come, most cruel of all… the heart Lovette thought she lost began to beat again for a man time will snatch away.

[monarchisms]

i guess with even more horrendous shit from rt/ah coming to light with no signs of stopping, especially with this insightful thread from caleb, it just clicked to me how deep the whole "friendly ribbing and bullying" shit on camera was with the company, AH in particular, and how at its worst, it was just regular bullying with us as a general audience not knowing any better.

i've really only ever said in the past that the "bullying" AH did to matt made me mildly uncomfortable because i think he's a cool dude, and him getting dunked on could get old and sad if done excessively, and that's something i still believe. however, that turned out to not even the worst of it, upon some reflection i did over this weekend.

i learned of the existence of rt, and eventually became a big fan of AH, sometime in early 2014, so i must have been 13 years old at the time. yikes, i know lol. this was back when ray and kerry and caleb and such were in the gameplay videos more often at the time. i, the impressionable fucker i was, and lowkey still am, latched onto the... jokes? callbacks? bits??? whatever the hell they're called of caleb being the cheating screen-looker who is absolutely obsessed with frisbees and shit. i repeated back what i heard the guys said like a parrot to myself because they found it fun to do, so i eventually did, as well.

i find the jokes pretty funny on their own back then and now, but what i never acknowledged back then was how constant that all was, to a concerning degree, even to the point where caleb was getting harassed and was sent death threats from other "fans". fucking mind-boggling! i never went that far because i wasn't that fucking stupid, but i currently feel a bit of shame, for lack of a better word, because of how much that hurt someone i liked watching on screen.

it's the same deal with gavin. bird noises. british humor. jokes about his way of explaining smart ideas poorly. all of that. dude was constantly egged on for years. it's calmed down since then, but that, and the physical stuff (one i remember semi-clearly was geoff pushing gav in i think a minecraft let's play to prevent him from winning some competition in the game) was insane, looking back on it. but since i was just a kid, i just laughed along.

#stopthebullying, #startthebullying, the brazing of newer hires like joe, god knows how much “friendly” ribbing towards kerry and jack. god, i’m not a fan of watching much older rt/ah videos because i’m guaranteed to hear a slur of two, but the comments from other fans who have been here longer than me about how jack got shit on in early AH stuff and the rt podcast/drunk tank episodes he appeared in can be its own separate fucking post, the poor guy.

i don’t know how to end this post, really. most of it was written at 4 am, and it shows. my brain has been a mess this past weekend, and so has rt since its inception. bye.

[withcolebrock]

Medieval Tavern Music

Corpse Husband x fem!reader

Summary: Y/N is sad and Corpse cheers her up

Warnings: sad stuff but mostly fluffy 

Word Count: 1,261

Author’s Note: it is most definitely way to late for me to post this but oh well, also this idea has been stuck in my head since I saw someone on Tumblr post that clip of him talking about it and I love it teheh.. also this was very rushed, so I'm sorry if its not my best I tried lol.. I hope you guys enjoy it!

~~

She normally never gets upset, or shows her emotions. She was really good at hiding her feelings, but today something took over her. Tonight, her stream she was really excited about kept glitching and her chat kept blaming her for it. Except her Internet these past couple of days hasn’t been working correctly and it was completely breaking her. She had to stop a few times to compost herself, muting herself she would take long deep breaths but nothing was working.

It wasn’t just the stream acting up that had been bothering her, she had been having a stressful last couple weeks in general.

She was only playing for an hour, much shorter than she normally would be playing, “I’m going to head out guys,” she said, her voice was shaking as she spoke. Glancing towards her chat, most of the comments were annoyed with her for cutting it short. Everything was completely overwhelming her.

“What? No,” Rae whined, shutting her conversation short with Lud. Everyone else in the lobby quickly begged Y/N to stay. She knew they were only trying to help but her emotions were ready to tip over.

“I-uh, my Internet is acting up again, nothings really working well, but next time guys,” she explained, trying to hide the cracks in her voice. The group wished her the best, as Y/N said a quick goodbye to her chat. “I’m sorry that this was so short guys, I just-tonight wasn’t the best to stream I guess, see you next time,” she said into her mic before ending her stream. After a few short minutes of finalizing her stream she was finally done.

She leaned back into her chair and rested her hands over her eyes. She let out a long shaky breath. Pulling her headphones from her ears she rested them onto her desk and quickly took a hold of her phone. She saw a few texts from her friends who watch her stream, asking if she was alright. Ignoring the messages, she walked out of her streaming room.

She glanced towards the couch, seeing Corpse sitting with his computer on his lap. He lifted his head as he watched her walk towards the kitchen. He smiled to himself as he watched her. He pushed the laptop onto the couch shutting it, he slowly stood up from the couch. He pulled the eyepatch from his eye and shoved it into his jean pocket. He walked towards her.

Pulling the fridge open, she pulled out a water bottle. “Hey,” he drew out the word, as he furrowed his eyebrows together. “You weren’t supposed to be done for a while,” he continued after a long moment of silence. Avoiding his gaze, she chugged the water. He tapped his fingers on the countertop, his ring hitting it every few times, breaking the silence. “Are you okay?” he finally asked, knowing she hates that question.

She let out a puff of air as she rested the bottle of water on the counter and began walking towards their bedroom. “If I talk about it, I’m going to cry,” she explained while pushing open their bedroom door. Corpse quickly followed her, rarely ever hearing those words coming from her. He walked into the room seeing her pull the shirt from her body over her head. She reached into their closet and took a hold of one of his hoodies.

A small smile formed to his lips as he watched the hoodie fall over her body. Y/N climbed into the bed completely submerging herself under the covers. Corpse’s lips fell into a pout as he watched her, he slowly walked towards the bed. He slowly pulled the covers up and climbed under them with her.

He didn’t say anything at first, he simply lifted the covers up enough to watch her. She laid facing away from him, but her knees were tucked close to her chest. Corpse took in a long breath as he slowly wrapped his arm around her waist. Slowly pulling her body towards his. She sniffled as she rested her hand onto his. He leaned down and pressed his lips to her jaw and whispered, “Talk to me.”

She smiled softly at the sound of his voice, but she didn’t say anything right away. She shut her eyes, a tear slipped from her eye onto her cheek. With her hand resting on top of his, she slowly started to trace shapes on his hand, it was comforting her. She took in a long breath, “I’m just overwhelmed with everything, I am just so tired,” she let out, a small sob leaving her lips.

His eyes widened as he pressed his lips to her skin again, as he lifted his hand and slowly ran his hand along her side. “I’m so sorry, Baby,” he whispered. She smiled softly, pressing her lips together to stop them from trembling. “Do you want me to make you some hot chocolate? I know they always make you feel better,” he offered, “Or I can draw you a bath,”

She thought about it, they both sounded nice but she didn’t want to move. “I just want to cuddle, if that’s okay?” she sighed as her voice cracked. He nodded his head as he pressed soft kisses to her skin.

“Yeah, we can do that,” he muttered as he rested his head into the crook of her neck. Every few minutes he would hear her sniffle, holding back a sob. He hated seeing her like this, but he didn’t know what to say. He ran his fingers slowly up and down her arm, hoping any one of his little movements would help her.

He slowly reached into his hoodie pocket, pulling out his phone. His orginal plan was to check the time, but a thought popped into his head. “What are you doing?” she questioned.

“Just looking up something,” he explained while kissing her jaw reassuringly.

She immediately knew what he was planning on doing, “Baby, please don’t,” she said.

“You don’t even know what I’m going to pla-”

“I do, Corpse, I’m not in the mood-” but before she could stop him, the joyful medival tavern music began to play, right next to her ear. She shut her eyes as she began to giggle. He found the music years ago, and there are countless times he would play the music for her. A lot of the times at the worst times. During her streams or her business meetings. He slowly began to bob his head back and forth to the music, moving the phone back and forth over her head.

She couldn’t help forgetting everything that was affecting her, as the song continued to play. It wasn’t the horrendous song choice, or the weirdly cheerful music, it was Corpse. He knew exactly how to cheer her up, he was perfect. It didn’t take much, but her body no longer felt tense.

“See you’re laughing, Baby, it’s working,” she tilted her head to face him, she saw the wide smile on his face. He raised his eyebrows as he watched the corner of her lips turn upward slightly. He placed the phone down onto the pillow beside their heads, continuing the song. She wiped the tear that was about to fall, as she looked into his eyes. “It’s an adventure, Baby,” he whispered as he rested his hand onto her cheek. He slowly ran his thumb along her skin.

“You’re such a dork,” she shook her head, he nodded his head.

“Well, yeah,” he mutters while giggling.

[delaber]

Chipped

Rafael Casal x Reader

Note: I love when you send me prompts 😭 I asked for angst and you delivered! Thanks to all the lovely anons and to @theatrenerd86​ of course!

Words: 3K

Warnings: fist fight 🙃

Tagging: @exrthangel @theatrenerd86 @lonelydance @ohsoverykeri @summerofsnowflakes @ramp-it-up @alexander-hamilhoe @honeysucklechocolatedrippin @riiyy @mysearchforgratification @janthony-stan @sillyteecup @biafbunny @einfachniemand @cashskid (Imma keep tagging you unless you say something lol).

The minute you stepped in the door, everything changed. Time seemed to slow down. The music became distorted. Rafa could've sworn that the lights dimmed considerably. The billiard ball rolling in slow motion in front of him suddenly wasn't as exciting anymore. All he could focus on was you and the heavy heartbeat in his chest.

You looked around the room, shot him a small wave from afar and headed straight for the bar as his senses seemed to return to normal, time speeding up again.

You'd shown up to the party late and even though Rafa had only seen you from a distance, it was obvious to him that something was wrong - again. Even though you had held your head up high, your confident body language was outshone by the fake smile and the sadness in your eyes. Rafa watched your squared shoulders as you poured yourself a drink while trying to look brave. And although you were doing a splendid job pretending everything was alright, he didn't believe a second of it. You had never been able to keep anything from him. He knew you too well.

"Are you seeing this too?" Diggs mumbled as he had also noticed the way you were carrying yourself.

"Yeah," Rafa breathed as he looked at you wipe away a small tear, the smile still broad on your lips. His heart was aching in his chest. It hurt seeing you hurt.

"What are we guessing?" Diggs continued in a quiet mumble, "Rob?"

"Definitely Rob," Rafa said darkly. Of course you were crying because of your asshole fuckboy of a boyfriend. The biggest fucking clown to ever walk the face of the earth. Mr Dickbag himself. Rafa's nemesis.

Rafa and Diggs had absolutely hated Rob from the minute you had introduced him to them - not only because the man was absolutely no good, but also because he had come out of nowhere, pulling you away from Rafa at the worst possible time. Before Rob, you and Rafa had - much to Rafa's satisfaction - flirted quite heavily. Hell, on special occasions, Rafa had even been granted access to your bed! But from the moment you had met Rob, everything had been about him, and Rafa had been degraded to being your old buddy again. ...And he absolutely fucking hated it! And he hated fucking Rob for stealing you away. Fucking Rob with his fucking stupid hipster haircut and his fucking badass Michael K Williams scar.

"We should go talk to her," Diggs said quietly, and put down the billiard cue without looking away from you.

"Yeah, I'll see what I can do," Rafa answered without really paying attention to Diggs.

"You? Alone?" Diggs arched an eyebrow at Rafa, "are you sure that's a good idea? Last time you nearly broke them up."

"That's still the plan," Rafa sent his friend a challenging look, "or do you want him to continue breaking her heart?"

"Of course not. You're just... partial," Diggs sent Rafa an equally challenging look. He was all for you and Rafa getting together, but he also knew that Rafa was in neck-deep water.

"Shut up, dude. I know what I'm doing," Rafa mumbled and started walking towards you with determined footsteps before Diggs could stop him.

"Don't stir shit up!" He heard Diggs yell behind him.

Rafa ignored his best friend and took a few brisk steps towards you before he was standing by your side. You were pouring yourself half a glass of tequila, downing it in one go.

"Hey..." he smiled when he caught your eye.

"Rafa!" You jumped a little at the surprise of suddenly having him in your face, "hey. How are you?" You poured yourself another tequila, your fake smile still broad on your lips. You hoped he hadn't noticed your rather weird mood.

"Better than you it seems..." Rafa eyed the contents of your plastic cup.

"Is it that obvious?" You shot him a look.

"You're drinking tequila as if it was water..." He leaned in close and spoke quietly so only you could hear, "Do you want to talk about it?"

"No," you lied, "I wouldn't want to ruin your night," you said quietly. The truth was that you actually did want to talk about it. Maybe with Jasmine or Emmy - but definitely not with Rafa of all people! You already knew how he would react; he hated Rob and would go absolutely ballistic.

"You could never ruin my night," Rafa smiled softly. "Come," he said and grabbed your hand, tugging you along. You followed him hesitantly but ended up sitting down next to him on a small bench outside the house, determined not to tell him a thing. However, as he immediately put his arm around you and pulled you close, the treacherous tears started welling up in your eyes the second you felt his hand caressing you.

"Hey, are you okay?" he asked softly.

"Yes. I'm just having a really shit night," you mumbled while wiping away an annoying tear.

"What happened?"

"Nothing, I'm okay," you croaked, trying to keep him away.

Of course Rafa didn't believe you, and in a matter of seconds, his expression changed dramatically, "Did Rob hurt you? If he hurt you, I swear to God I will kill him!"

You looked over at Rafa whose nostrils were flared, clearly already angry at the scene he had set in his own mind without even knowing if Rob was involved or not.

"He didn't hurt me, Rafa. Stop jumping to conclusions just because you don't like him..."

"So this has nothing to do with Rob?" Rafa arched an eyebrow at you.

There was no way back now. You knew that Rafa would do absolutely anything in his power to get you to tell him about what had happened. You shot him a sideways glance, trying to determine how angry he was before you admitted to Rob's deeds. "It's Rob, alright - but he didn't do anything on purpose."

Rafa clenched his jaws shut and curtly said, "just tell me what happened."

"Promise me you won't hate him..." you whispered while biting your lip.

"No. What did he do?!" Rafa demanded through gritted teeth.

"He - uhm -" you considered shooting Rafa a lie but knew that he would see right through you immediately. Eventually, you decided to tell him the truth even though you knew nothing good would come of it; "Rob - uh - accidentally kissed someone else last night," you mumbled quietly while carefully examining Rafa's face. He looked as if he could punch something so to diffuse the situation, you quickly added, "- but he feels really bad about it and he told me everything straight away!"

"He cheated on you?" Rafa tried to say as calmly as he possibly could although he was doing a horrendous job. Of all the terrible things Rob had ever done to you, this one definitely took the cake.

"He didn't do it on purpose!" You added quickly, "Please don't be mad at him!"

"Why are you defending him?" Rafa said desperately. His face was distorted, his eyes livid, "He cheated on you! Tell me you broke it off with him!"

"He didn't do it on purpose. He's been going through some stuff lately and he told me that he feels terrible about it..."

"Good!" Rafa said angrily and gritted his teeth, "fucking suits him right. Say the word and I'll deck him in his smug face!"

"Stop trying to save me, I can handle myself! This has absolutely nothing to do with you..."

"I'm the one who has to see you like this," he said softly.

You shot Rafa a look, "you pulled me aside!"

"Yes! Because I see right through your fake smile - and it hurts to see you like this!"

"Rafa, I didn't ask for you to take care of it."

"You'd do the same for any of your friends. I don't know why you can't see that he's bad for you!"

"It's just a rough patch! I know he loves me, he's just been stressed lately."

"Are you not listening to what you're saying right now?" Rafa desperately pulled at his hair, "The guy made out with another girl and you're excusing it? You should be livid!"

"I am livid," you shot Rafa a hard look, "why else do you think I'm sitting out here, talking to you about it? If I didn't care that he kissed someone else, I would obviously be inside right now, enjoying myself!"

"If you're truly upset about it, don't excuse his behaviour! Break up with him! He's toxic as fuck!"

"Would you stop that?!" You said sternly, "I know you aren't his biggest fan but he's my boyfriend."

"Why are you even with him? He's a fucking low life!"

"He's a low life?" You said in a shrill voice, not able to hold back anymore, "as opposed to whom, Rafa? To you?"

"As opposed to anyone!" Rafa spat, "why can't you see that there are so many guys out there who are a million times better than fucking Robert Havert?!"

Rafa's words hit a little too close to home and you got really angry with him, "you really want to go there?" You couldn't help yourself.

"Go where?" Rafa shot you an irritated look

"Riddle me this, Rafa; do you by any chance consider Rob competition?"

"No," Rafa said curtly, looking away from you.

You crossed your arms and tapped your foot, "really? Because you've been sending me some weird fucking signals lately while trying to break me and Rob up."

Rafa's feelings were bubbling inside him and before he could stop himself, he spat, "Of course I consider him competition! Isn't it obvious that I'm in love with you?! You and I had something special before he came along and corrupted you!"

"He didn't corrupt me!" You answered through gritted teeth.

"Why did you turn your back on me then?" Rafa said loudly, his voice breaking. He instantly looked ashamed of himself. He obviously hadn't meant to show you so much of his emotions.

"Because I fell in love with Rob! ...What you and I had was a mistake..." you desperately cried out, "sleeping together was obviously a mistake!"

"If it was a mistake, why did it happen three times?" Rafa spat angrily before his eyes became glossy. He was panting hard, his face all screwed up, "please don't regret me," he croaked, his chest aching horribly, "you can't be serious..."

"Of course I don't regret you, Rafa. But we would've never worked out."

"...Because of him?" He shot you a dark look, his chest heaving up and down.

"No, Rafa," you desperately put your hands on him trying to calm him down, "Because you're you and I'm me. We've been friends for ages."

"I don't want to be friends," Rafa whispered before he angrily looked away from you.

"Rafa, honey," you whispered while searching his face, "I love you - but not like that..." you put your forehead to his. Your hands were now on his chest and you could feel the heavy heartbeat through his shirt. "I'm sorry if I-" Your words were drowned by a car door slamming hard and a voice behind you yelling loudly; "Step away before I punch you in fucking the face, Casal!"

Rob was coming at you and Rafa at full speed, an aggressive look in his eyes. You let go of Rafa as if you'd been scorched by fire and ran to your boyfriend, trying to stop him from beating up your friend. You hadn't told Rob about you and Rafa's escapade but Rob had long ago figured out that Rafa was into you - and you knew that he had been looking for every excuse to fight it out with him.

"Everything's fine, baby," you tried, "Rafa didn't do anything. We were just talking. Everything's fine, I swear!"

Rob's eyes were huge, his nostrils flared as he gently pushed you aside and went head to head with Rafa, "what the fuck are you doing, Casal?! Are you trying to get with my girl?"

"I'm protecting her from you."

"And you plan on doing that by hooking up with her?"

Rafa stood up straight, trying to make himself a few inches taller, "I plan on doing that by actually showing her some emotional support!"

"Don't fucking touch what isn't yours!" Rob was snarling angrily.

"Rich coming from you," Rafa said calmly with a small growl, "do you feel like a big man when you cheat on your girl?"

Rafa's choice of words had Rob shooting him a sickening smile, "that's right, Casal," Rob smiled humourlessly "she's my girl. Not yours. And you know what? She never will be yours. You will never get to touch her, to kiss her, to fuck her. She will never want you. I know you've been dying to experience it but you will never get to see her with your cock in her mouth," he said devilishly.

"Rob!" You interjected, disgusted with how your boyfriend was talking.

Rafa couldn't help himself. He knew he would be disloyal to you and that it would escalate the situation immensely, but he was desperate to wipe away Rob's stupid grin so he too smiled before he calmly said, "oh, you don't think I know what she looks like with my cock in her mouth?"

"Rafa!" You hissed loudly from behind your boyfriend.

Rob's smug face fell considerably and although Rafa could hear the disappointment in your voice, he continued, "what? She didn't tell you?"

In a matter of seconds, Rob's face went from red to purple. He took a firm grip in the collar of Rafa's shirt and plunged his head forwards. Rob's forehead hit Rafa's face with a sickening crunch, and Rafa staggered backwards but was on his feet not long after, decking Rob in the face with his closed fist.

"Please stop!" you pleaded them and tried to pull them apart, but Rob punched Rafa in the stomach, causing him to fall to the ground with a thud when all the air was knocked out of his lungs.

Rob plunged forward, put a leg on either side of Rafa and started hitting him repeatedly.

Rafa was desperately trying to defend himself against the rain of fists that were coming at him, but was so busy trying to avert Rob, that he didn't have the ability to fight back. Luckily, Rob was grabbed from behind by two guys that hurled him backwards and off of Rafa. Rob unsuccessfully fought to wrestle himself free from Oak and Anthony'a grips while yelling, "I'm going to break your fucking skull!"

Meanwhile Rafa, who was now back on his feet, was trying to wrestle himself out of Diggs' grip, responding with a "I'd like to see you try, you fucking pussy!"

As Rob and Rafa were trying to fight the men off of them, you stepped in, "what the hell is the matter with you two?" you bellowed.

Rob looked as if he had almost forgotten you were there, the sound of your voice immediately making him stop squirming in Anthony and Oak's arms as he looked at you. Ant and Oak released their grip on him, and instead of flying towards Rafa, Rob took a few deep breaths, his eyes piercing through you as he tried to calm himself down.

"How about breaking my skull now?" Rafa yelled at him while squirming around in Diggs arms hoping to break free.

Rob's gaze flew towards Rafa, while Oak and Anthony took a step closer, ready to punch him to the ground if he tried anything. Rob felt the two men nearing him and looked as if he had only just realised that if he jumped Rafa again, he would have to deal with Oak, Ant, and Diggs too. He took an ultimate decision and with a last look at you, he huffed, turned on his heel and angrily walked away with balled up fists.

Diggs loosened his grip on Rafa who immediately ran to you, "are you okay?" He almost yelled, his voice laced with concern, "I'm so, so sorry you had to see that!"

You looked up at him with a dark expression, "how fucking dare you!" You started out in a whisper but your voice gradually became louder as your tone changed to anger, "how dare you talk about me like that! As if I'm some conquest that you brag about to your mates!"

"I know I'm sorry," Rafa panted, avoiding your gaze, "Heat of the moment."

"Rafa look at me," you searched his face, "this is over," you said slowly, painfully aware that you were breaking his heart in front of his friends.

"It's over?" He looked as if he didn't understand what you were saying.

"We can't see each other anymore. It's over!"

"What? You're choosing that clown over me? What does he have that I don't?"

"Rafa why can't you see that you're just as big of a clown as he is!"

"...what the fuck are you talking about?!" He panted desperately, "I'm just trying to make you realise that he's a dick! I'm helping you. He's treating you like shit!"

"I don't need or want your help. What I want is for you to stay the fuck away from me," you said angrily giving him a small shove. With one last look back at Rafa, you turned on your heel and desperately ran towards your boyfriend who had almost reached his car.

Rafa watched you chase after Rob. He watched you desperately explain the situation to him. Watched you apologise of all people. Watched Rob take you in his arms as if he was the one who had to forgive you. He watched you kiss Rob's cheek before you started crying. Rafa's heart was aching horribly. He almost couldn't stand still.

He watched you get in Rob's car, kiss the man passionately before he pumped the speeder, sending Rafa a smirk as you once again kissed his cheek. Rafa painfully watched you drive away and all he was left behind with was a black eye, a chipped tooth, and a broken heart.

[allexteriordark]

Can I just ask why you're so interested in the john/dean dynamic? I just never found it interesting, John wasn't in the show enough for me to grow an interest, so I'd like to hear it from your pov :)

@ghost-go-roasty-mctoasty let me start off by saying i cannot possibly explain or phrase this in a way that's better than what others have said.... refer to nikki fearlastyear and bug familyhorror for real 🥴 but i get that you're asking why i'm like this so

i'm gonna put a read more since i'm incapable of being succint. i just rambled on and you'll have to take it because that was enough time spent on this. and like, i might not be satisfied, might not feel like i conveyed what i wanted to, but i don't feel like i can pull anything better out of myself lol and that's okay

and the answer, the relationship i have with my dad is certainly something and i'm projecting 💗 no but the key to dean and john is that a lot of it is off-screen. we're told about the night azazel paid a friendly little visit, about john being a vietnam vet, an ex-marine who just wanted to settle down, about sam and dean's childhood, about dean's problems with identity and self-worth. the show tells us a lot of things about them, just not outright. a lot can be deduced imo!!

the appeal is this: dean was devoted to his father, served him as well as he could, idolized him, despite john being absent and despite how he treated his sons. like,, john was his god. (i don't see this kind of intense devotion often in media when it comes to fathers - or it doesn't do it for me?? why i latched onto them probably has something to do with john's character. anyway,)

i feel like i was shown enough of john to... find him interesting enough to make me think about him and how he raised his boys? from very early on, john was dean's hero. as @familyhorror said, the night mary died intertwined their lives, not just because trauma, but because from that point on they were sharing this mission: protect sam, avenge mary and the sanctity of family.... i'm interested in dean's space in this family, in this unit, when the three of them were together (especially with me having a shitty family like i had to raise my sister and protect her from my parents sometimes. relatability points!!)

i wonder how dean and john operated when sam, the disobedient son, the one who didn't put family first, left them. that was a shared pain, shared betrayal to an extent. and from when sam left to when john went missing, it was just the two of them. that's all dean and john had 🥴 i'm probably definitely underestimating how many friends and acquaintances john had (pastor jim was definitely in the picture from early on..) but the stanford years couldn't be insignificant!! their relationship must have intensified. so they were sergeant and soldier, but also john, broken man on a revenge mission, and dean, his only true companion and provider of comfort.... tugging at john's coat when he was sad (above the clouds of pompeii by bear's den is actually about them just so everyone knows) and telling his dad it'll be okay after he came home from a hunt. dean did that, when he was small o_o i doubt he stopped wanting to care for his dad

sam wasn't elevated to the level in the family dean was elevated to. because dean's the oldest. the parent's supposed to provide the comfort, children can't possibly make good friends for their parents, no matter how much the parent needs a supporter. "i put too much on your shoulders, i made you grow up too fast. you took care of sammy, you took care of me" !!! dean turned into his dad's partner, in a way, because john needed one. total coincidence that my mom also thinks i can care for her like a friend and forgets that i'm her daughter ahaha <3

with mary dead, someone also needed to do the tasks traditionally assigned to like, the mom. i just doubt john always did the laundry and cleaned up when there was a mess and acted as a health care provider and did the dishes, it makes more sense to me that he passed most of the khmm ""duties of a mother"" off to dean... i mean. john definitely didn't do a lot for the comfort of his boys, in the name of nurturing them.... but dean had a baby brother, he had to make things better for his brother, i feel like when john left a spot empty, when something wasn't done, he stepped in. sometimes. this doesn't mean dean was a good wife replacement or that he was the only one who cooked or anything like that lol i'm just saying that dean definitely took on more responsibility than a kid's supposed to and his relationship with his father existed mostly so john's needs would be met. he wasn't just a son to john, that's what i think of them

also once sam left i think john could just, pull dean even deeper, have him be more obedient, on the same page as john - i'm doing this for your perfect angel of a mother and for family and for sammy, i'm doing this to you for your own good, because the world is a dark place and i love you so much. and isn't it interesting, dean thinking the abuse is justified? that john was right to leave them to go on hunts and to move them from motel to motel, eradicating any chance of connection they could've had outside of family and any chance of feeling like they have a home? and of feeling safe.. that's another thing: when dean's a kid all he knows is something killed his mom, there's monsters out there, but dad's gonna make it better :) of course he clung to a perfect image of his father and he stayed with john and modeled himself after his dad. (of course that's interesting to me)

dean loved like his father, learned love from him, because he learned everything else from him too actually, and he became his father. isn't that level of devotion insane. i don't just mean the music, the jacket, the car, or the lifestyle, or the alcoholism and violence later on, i mean more like, the very foundations of who dean is. his morals, his being is based on john. so his entire life his father never left him :) there's something religious about this, and also something that reminds me of platonism: john being the idea of absolute good and true, that dean wants to take inside himself,,, as much of john as possible. he could never be good and heroic enough though (the american hero he was trying to measure up to is like. not real ofc). dean sold his soul for sam, even though that's what john did for him and it was a terrible burden, to be saved, through sacrifice, but he couldn't help it :) and he comes back from hell and is told that his father lasted longer, could withstand more, he'll never be the hero john was.

so, the abuse was passed on (dean violating sam's autonomy because he can't live without sam, and, other stuff like that. i couldn't list everything dean did that was fucked up <3) and the selling your soul for your family, for your kid, was passed on!! horrific, turning into your parent and fucking someone up the same way they fucked you up. i'm very compelled by the winchester family and what they do to each other, because, that's family, to me at least, it's horrendous and the only thing that matters :/

and this is the part where i talk about my dad 🤪 so get this: i fucking hate him. i despise him, i want him dead, the intensity of it scares me. he turns me into something ugly! i can't forgive him and there's really nothing to salvage here, in what i have with him, and i've thought about it a lot. for a while i thought, okay, then i just let him go, see, it's done, i don't care about him, no more pain!! he's nothing to me he can't hurt me! but then turns out that i can't do that, because now that he's dead to me, i have to mourn him. i can't let go, family doesn't work like that! haha silly me!

so i miss the father i never had, and will never have, so much. it's worse that i have no connection to him, in a way, than if it was a love-hate thing. i think it makes sense that i'd latch onto dean winchester's intense connection to his father. i'm envious as fuck :)) <3

i hope you got a bit of a look into what compels me about dean and john. if you have any questions though, if something wasn't clear, i'm happy to explain anything!!

[initiumseries]

Which parts of BTVS did you not like and how would you have changed them?

Yes! Great question. 

So, if I’m being honest, most, if not all, of my issues with BTVS start after she graduates high school. I feel like the show lost the magic of the Scoobies bond and the older they got, the more distance we had from them as characters, the more OOC it felt like everyone started behaving, So, I’ll start with s4, buckle in this is gonna be long lol.

Season 4

So as usual, I like the idea of season 4. The gang has graduated, they’re growing up, and trying to find their place in such a big pond. On top of that, the Initiative is on campus (which makes sense, you can’t just blow up a high school and there are no repercussions for that, and it’s kinda cool the idea of instead of a govn’t lockdown, they infiltrate Sunnydale and are running experiments to weaponize demons. Clever, fun. I like it.), and ofc Buffy’s given up having a normal life, but now she just wants a normal relationship, and doesn’t even get that. I’m on board. Especially the idea that the gang inadvertently drifts away from each other because that’s real. That happens when you go away to college, even if you go away together. So my issues, are rooted in the details. 

Maggie Walsh turned into this weird obsessive surrogate mother, who wanted to get Buffy out of the way, except the execution was so sloppy. I LIKED commanding, no nonsense, bitch monster from hell Maggie Walsh, and I would have liked to see that follow through in how she attempts to dispose of Buffy, and how she handles Riley. She becomes this soft, weirdly maternal unhinged force after trying to kill Buffy, and I don’t really understand why. I would have liked to see more of that motherly role, while still rooted in that commander in chief sort of aura she exudes when we first meet her, when it comes to Riley. I also thought her death came too soon, like they just didn’t know what to do with her after she executed her function *coughs in the Anointed One* of creating tension between Buffy and Riley (which, honestly, his being in the Initiative at all would have been enough conflict if they had leaned into that without stuffing so much stuff in there). I definitely would have had Maggie maintain that strength and authority, while softening where necessary to emotionally manipulate Riley. I’d make it really clear that Riley is deeply confused because we believe the hold she has on him, and withdrawal on the drugs would have been a nice touch, but I think it came too soon. Which leads me directly into: 

Super cool. I remember when I first watched this on TV and the gang finally rebonded (after a HILARIOUS episode of them finally addressing their conflicts), they’d reached the climax with the Initiative and Adam and Buffy does a very Sailor Moon thing of all the different emotional strengths of her friends bond together to give her enough power to defeat Adam. LOVE IT. 

Except what’s the point? Prof. Walsh created Adam...for what exactly? We never really get a clear, salient reason for that, bc they kill her, and Adam’s exposition is...not sufficient to explain why she had an off the books project to stitch together a...demon son. It’s weird and especially because Adam doesn’t really do all that much, it really leaves me wondering like, what was the point? For me, I feel like, instead of making Adam a spectator for a lot of the drama that takes place in s4, I would have preferred him be the driving force. behind most things. 

Also: Riley’s Black friend would not have been such an angry misogynistic raging asshole because I’m tired of Black people being The Worst to make the white characters look better, more reasonable.

I would have needed a stronger explanation for Adam trying to turn Riley into...whatever that was. 

Willow would have been bi and I absolutely would have, if I went in that direction, had a much more fleshed out discovery of that fact (Because in this world Seth wouldn’t have left lol). I also would have made sure Willow and the actress who played Tara would have had the chemistry they deserved.  

Anya would not have stayed in Sunnydale. She would have left. She was a poor man’s Cordelia and had 0 character growth or interest. 

Season 5

Again, love the ideas. Suddenly Buffy has a sister we ALL knew wasn’t there before? A God shows up? What I love(d) about Buffy is that the escalations felt so natural? Like it didn’t feel like the show was like HoW dO wE oUtDo oURsElVes aGaIN?! It felt more organic like, well, yeah, the govnt. Oh shit, a GOD? D A M N! And Glory had personality! She was crazy! And it also matches alongside Buffy’s coming to grips with her own abilities. She’s one of the oldest slayers on record at this point, watching her in s1 and in s5 you SEE, her skill level is above and beyond, and now she meets a foe that still provides such a challenge, Buffy is scared. LOVE IT.

So Spike, getting neutered, was interesting at first, but it really starts to wear out its welcome for me, about this time. My problem being, he poses so little of a threat, that all his scenes start to feel like filler and not like they’re driving the plot forward in any useful way. His obsession with Buffy becoming sexual, was INLINE for Spike, but I liked Spike because he was a DICK, he was also dangerous, and after a lot of hilarious moments in S4, watching his basically creep around Buffy’s house and try to manipulate her into spending time together (which felt soooo pathetic to me in a way I didn’t like) and like, the Buffy bot (fucking ew) all season was just, not a fun time. I think, for me, I would have had Spike maintain his dignity as a character and I absolutely would not have had him threaten Dru’s life to drive home his obsession for Buffy. Ew. Yuck. Cringe. I just think there had to be more that Spike could do this season than run around chasing Buffy’s coattails. 

One again, Tara/Willow. Tara had no character development (even in an episode that was created to provide her with development? I definitely would have made use of that episode to create more ACTUAL depth for her character) so then to turn around and have her become mindless for basically the REST of the season, is just, rude lol. And because they have no chemistry and their relationship feels so...baseless, when this moment happens, I don’t feel anything. I don’t believe WIllow would be this angry, this heartbroken, this devastated that she’d take in such dark magicks and blindly go after Glory. I’d believe it if it were Oz, but Tara/Willow do not get the same level of build up and relationship establishing for me to buy this. I would have changed that.

Unpopular opinion, but I also would have made Dawn less of an UTTERLY irritating, shrill, whiny, screaming white tween. I get it, she was supposed to be the baby. But I get nothing from watching a white girl who is mostly just bored and irritated with her life, start shoplifting from her sister’s friends and in general, because she’s kinda sad sometimes. Get a grip. The only time I feel bad for her is when she finds out she’s not real. Actual problems. Wicked, I’m on board. But I think I would have just made her less fucking annoying and whiny and a lot more sympathetic. She still could have been frustrating and bratty, but in a way that was a bit more likeable, so that in those moments where she’s *genuinely* struggling, you feel for her on a broader scope. I would not have made her do all of those incredibly infuriating, incredibly stupid things, like running away in the middle of a dangerous situation. Because it ends up reading to me, like Buffy’s anger, frustration and criticisms of Dawn aren’t her being too hard on her as the eldest, as the Slayer, but accurate because Dawn is a horrendous nightmare of a new human being with no real redeeming qualities. Definitely a better ways to execute that. 

Also, I feel like this season is where the Scoobies drift again, but this time we aren’t really addressing it? Buffy’s dealing with Joyce getting sick, Riley being a POS, Spike stalking her, and she never leans on Willow for any of it. They never even really talk about any of the things going on. It’s such a missed opportunity to lean back into the core gang navigating growing up together. Willow is now basically the guardian of her new partner, and again, we don’t really see WIllow lean on Buffy at all. And Giles is preparing to leave, which, to me, felt organic. He felt like Buffy had outgrown him, but I think he was also trying to rediscover himself, but is pulled back into being a Watcher and he seems both grateful and disappointed. I would have liked to, I donno, make that a little clearer. Also what is Xander doing at this point? He’s outgrown his usefulness as well, so he kinda just becomes a hanger’s on. If Xander doesn’t just leave Sunnydale after s3 or 4. He needs to do *something*, he should have been reintegrated into the group in a new way if it wasn’t through school. 

Season 6 

This is so hard. I feel like this season is just, SO dark, SO heavy, and absent the levity that had been established up til s4. But it’s also really earned. Buffy is going through it. The layers are wonderful. I LOVE IT. But I also needed like...emotional breaks? And this is also kinda where I needed the scoobies to feel like scoobies, and trying to figure out how to help their friend.  Xander and Willow have been friends their entire lives, and season 3 really fleshes out that emotional shorthand they have, but it’s so quickly abandoned in s4 and onward. Suddenly Willow/Xander feel like strangers with Anya and Tara between them. I feel like there should have been more moments of Xander and Willow just..being, and struggling with Buffy’s loss together in a way that only the two of them really understand because like Buffy said Xander has a piece of her that Oz, and so then Tara, can’t reach. That should be a constant thoroughline. Xander should have been the first person to see something wasn’t quite right with Willow and the magic. 

Giles should have left earlier to give more time between him leaving and Buffy coming back. I like the idea of Giles beginning to build a life for himself in England and literally dropping everything once he found out Buffy was back. I emotionally hate the conflict of Willow threatening Giles, but I like it as a character development issue, and Giles definitely should have side eyed Willow, maybe even brought up his concerns later with Xander. 

I think I also would have had Spike leave Sunnydale and come back when Buffy does. I didn’t need a reformed Spike, and it would have been interesting to see him ingratiate himself with the group now that Buffy is back, and he’s the only one who sees how much pain she’s in. 

I HATED Warren and the group. The disgustingly overwhelming and unchecked misogyny and Warren was INSANELY unlikeable. I don’t need to like him, but I needed some catharsis way before we got it. He was HORRENDOUS. 

Even in death, Tara is bland. 

Willow’s magic addiction legit comes out of nowhere. I needed more organic build up than Amy, who has been a rat for like 3 years, suddenly being like “hey I know this guys who can give us magic drugs!” 

The chasm between Willow and Buffy this season would have hit if they hadn’t been distant since s3. 

I think we needed the seeds for Dark!Willow planted a lot earlier like I described. 

Also a lot more evidence that Willow was running away from her nerdy past because when it comes up here, it’s completely left field.

This would have hit harder if they still felt close. 

Season 7

Fuck man, the whole thing was awful. But I ESPECIALLY would have thrown out that left field retcon of Buffy having been in an asylum. I lost sleep over that shit lol.

 But I would have totally rewritten season 7. If Spike’s involvement was necessary (it wasn’t), then I absolutely would not have had her defend him against Wood and Giles. I would have had her treat him extremely coolly. Like a tool they require. There would have been *some* level of redemption for him that was believable within the confines of his character, but not so much that we forget he’s an assaulter.

 The Potentials would have been WAY fucking less horrendously annoying and I really would have leaned into conflict avoidance with the scoobies that reaches a peak when Xander loses his eye. Giles and Buffy would have renegotiated their adult parent/child relationship in a far healthier way and we would have had a lot more interiority with Buffy like we’ve had, pretty much since the show’s inception. 

Angel would have been there when Buffy was isolated and alone, not Spike. Because #bangel4lyfe lmao. They still woulda kissed as a “greeting” lol. Buffy would not have told Spike she loved him, or that she ever loved him. She woulda told that dude thank you and dipped out of the cave lol. 

[sheblah]

003 for Double Trouble! (this was an obvious one haha) Or 002 for catrouble if someone already asked the other one :)

FINALLY a reason to rant about my favorite things lol

002 | Catrouble

When I started shipping them: When Double Trouble, at the mere hint that Glimmer might be attacking Catra, decided to leave their post and walk into a burning building to save Catra's life. I know it's just good business sense to not let your employer die, but come on. That's very ship-worthy.

My thoughts: Their relationship would not necessarily be healthy (least of all for everyone else), but it sure would be fun!

What makes me happy about them: They have chemistry, which is something Catra hasn't truly had with anybody since Adora. And you know what? Between Adora's low emotional intelligence and Catra's horrendous emotional repression, DT actually jives better with Catra most of the time. They can read her and understand her, even when she's trying like hell to hide her feelings. Though Catra tries not to let herself like DT at first, it's a battle she clearly loses. They enjoy scheming together, DT gets her to have fun being the villain, if only briefly, and they're able to actually make her laugh during a period when she's more stressed-out than ever. Like, uproariously. There's a lot to like about these two.

What makes me sad about them: They probably won't have any more positive interactions after DT's betrayal and that brutal dressing-down lol :')

Things done in fanfic that annoys me: Oh boy. Where do I start? I know this ask is about Catrouble, but I have peeves about the general use of Double Trouble in fanfic. So few of the fics about Double Trouble are actually about Double Trouble. Usually they're about another solitary character (usually Catra), and everything DT does and says is for the express purpose of making that character feel a certain way so the fic can explore that feeling. DT's feelings and motivations are rarely acknowledged. In these fics it feels like the author sees them as a prop, not a character. That bothers me. Specifically regarding Catrouble, that tendency shows up in a very specific flavor that I find quite bitter: DT transforms into another character (usually Adora) to have sex with Catra, usually at Catra's request, and sometimes for pay. It's not that I couldn't see that happening, in a darker version of the SPoP universe... but that's not Catrouble. That's Catradora with DT as a stand-in. But it gets tagged as Catrouble because technically they're the one being intimate with Catra. Once again, it's never about DT, it's about Catra and her pining and her pain. This type of fic could be done in a way that acknowledges DT's perspective and agency (how does it feel being used as a stand-in for someone else during intimacy? Have they done this before with other people? Does this perhaps damage their ability to believe they can be loved as themself?), but so far I haven't seen it. On top of that, there's often this gross undertone that implies DT is somehow taking advantage of Catra's feelings for Adora to get paid, when, personally... I think it would be pretty messed up to even ask someone for such a service, even if you pay them for it. Who wants to hear that their work friend wants to be intimate with them, but only if they turn into someone else? Like, there's great potential for angst in these fics, but it's only ever explored from a Catradora perspective, and I think that's a damn shame.

Things I look for in fanfic: Both of them proving with their actions that they care for each other, even if neither of them wants to admit it or even have these feelings? That's the good stuff 👌😩

My wishlist: Just... let them talk to each other again. Let them acknowledge that they had a good thing for awhile. And if I'm being really hopeful, let them reconcile and actually be friends.

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: Adora for Catra, and for DT... most ships with them are pie in the sky since they've had very little interaction outside of Catra, but I like the idea of them with Scorpia... and honestly almost all of the princess alliance because there's some great potential interactions, but the show probably won't explore them lol.

My happily ever after for them: TALK EARNESTLY. ADMIT YOU GENUINELY LIKE EACH OTHER. CAUSE CHAOS TOGETHER. HAVE ANNUAL VACAYS IN THE CRIMSON WASTE.

003 | Double Trouble

How I feel about this character: 🦎❤🦎🧡🦎💛🦎💚🦎💙🦎💜🦎 They're beautiful, they're sinister, they're funny, they're sadistic, they're intelligent, they're eccentric, they're cute, they're mysterious... they're the whole package and then some. They knocked my other fav out of first place the moment they were announced.

Any/all the people I ship romantically with this character: Catra, Scorpia, Glimmer, Bow, Perfuma, Huntara... like half the characters in the show honestly lol

My favorite non-romantic relationship for this character: Also Catra. I love what they had in S4 before DT switched sides. I could see them being great friends if Catra worked on her issues and DT learned to openly care about other people.

My unpopular opinion about this character: 1) Their main motivation isn't drama, it's survival. 2) They did care about Catra. They just cared about themself more. 3) They're not pure evil any more than Catra is pure evil. Both characters do evil things, and both have been shown to enjoy them, but neither of their motivations are simply wanting to do bad things. If you believe Catra has good in her, it shouldn't be impossible to believe DT does too.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: P-please... backstory...

Favorite friendship for this character: My first thought is Scorpia, but the more I think about it... Bow. I don't know where the idea came from but I know I'm not the only one who wants to see them interact. It would just be so interesting if they got along - an amoral mercenary lizard and a good-hearted, down-to-earth human. The best part would be DT learning that this sweet, honest boy basically lived a double-life for years and successfully kept it from his dads.

My crossover ship: I don't really like crossovers? I prefer to keep my canons separate. But one character from another fandom who they'd jive with might be Envy from FMA. I haven't even watched FMA (it's on my list) but I know they have a lot in common lol

(Edit: added the ns//fw tag due to sex mention)

[illegiblewords]

Emet-Selch: Illness and Accountability

I’ve seen some posts where people are trying to argue that no compassion/sympathy/remembrance should be paid to Emet-Selch because of the total annihilation of multiple worlds he participated in.

People gonna feel how they’re gonna feel lol, but my opinion has a bit more gray I think. Buttloads of analysis and some psychobabble under the cut, spoilers up the wazoo.

- Obviously causing apocalypses and encouraging the worst qualities in people to that end is evil, unacceptable, and had to be stopped. Imo even if that ends in his death. That level of tragedy is horrific.

- Amaurot’s tragedy is still immense, and the nature of Amaurotine society and the stunted nature of its inhabitants (being unequipped to deal with loss, their own/humanity’s evils, or other forms of suffering) only further ensured that the unsundered would not be mentally or emotionally capable of dealing with the aftermath of that loss. A regular person would have been devastated. Amaurotines were left with zero ability to cope.

- Tempering makes it SIGNIFICANTLY worse. Emet-Selch is pretty blasé about it yeah, but he is not a reliable source on this subject. Consider that when lesser primals like Ifrit, Leviathan, or Titan temper people they need to be killed without question. They often aren’t even considered themselves anymore. Zodiark is to them what the sun is to idk Mars. Wouldn’t go so far as Mercury but it’s still an insane difference in power, intensity, etc. Lahabrea shows indications of being more heavily effected than Emet-Selch and Elidibus but honestly the only reason they’re not going “your words are my bread” 24/7 as per Ifrit thralls is probably specifically because they’re unsundered Amaurotines. That doesn’t mean that they aren’t hugely warped.

- Imo Emet-Selch has absolutely been driven insane. Not hallucinations necessarily, but honestly he’s right at the brink of that level. He has the ability to more or less take things from his head and materialize them externally, and he’s gone full throttle with that for Amaurot. He has a fake place where he can make believe things are still okay and his friends are still alive and he still has a home to go to. He also vomited out his PTSD nightmares and sometimes subjects himself to that experience again. It would not surprise me even SLIGHTLY if pre-Scions showing up he’d used that dungeon to try and figure out from his memories if there was anything he could have done differently, anyone he could have saved. The whole area existing basically indicates he’s developed a level of masochism. He’s been doing this for at least several hundred years if not more, if the Ondo are to be believed. EDIT: I may have misremembered and have timeline questions about this now. Need to investigate further to determine how long fake-Amaurot existed and in what degree of completion. Emet-Selch might be good about covering this up in conversation for the most part, but that doesn’t make it any less real. My opinion on very specific kinds of insanity, this one included, is that responsibility is somewhat alleviated and it becomes more the product of the illness/situation rather than a person being horrible. None of that means that the results are less terrible or that the person shouldn’t be stopped by whatever means necessary. It just means that the personal judgment on the perpetrator is different from what it would be if they were in total control of their faculties.

- All of the above said, the posts circulating where fans call him a little bitch and fantasize about saying they won’t remember read a bit like kicking someone when they’re down to me. Fictional situations yeah, but honestly there is not a single person in the scenario who isn’t suffering in horrific ways and doing that helps none of them. To me it reads kind of like an extension of revenge fantasies that seem to be popular these days, and honestly the revenge mentality is something I’m pretty exhausted with. This probably comes a lot from me having seen more angry people around in-general (not mainly FFXIV), and it just kind of makes me sad. Seeing how many fans were able to find compassion and mercy in them for Emet-Selch was a huge relief for me in light of that. It’s probably in part because of how obvious it is that he’s depressed out of his mind and dealing with several millenias worth of PTSD. The sleeping thing screams it pretty loud in a way I suspect a lot of people recognized.

- I seriously, seriously think that part of what was going on with Emet-Selch was on some level being aware that he’d become a monster and what he was doing counted as murder. The reason his reaction at the Ladder was shown and important is because it exposes his process of recognizing the reality of sundered people still counting and needing to actively remind/convince himself otherwise. It is way too neat and convenient for him to know that the way to get his world and people back is to sacrifice countless sundered through rejoinings, but none of those people are real anyway so it’s not a difficult choice.

The reality is way more ugly and horrifying, and my theory is he’s unable to deal with the weight of it. Knowing that not only were all the lives he ended real, often innocent people--they were pieces of his own beloved people would 100% destroy him past functioning. If he doesn’t have that denial mechanism in place he isn’t going to be able to survive, much less save anyone.

Another fan explained it really brilliantly imo with:

He probably has a mantra he repeats to himself, every time he feels himself starting to form an attachment to one or more of these pitiful, ephemeral beings: "They aren't truly alive, they aren't real. Things will be better when they are whole - better for THEM, even. This is for the good of us all..." Especially NOW; the sunk cost fallacy is STRONG. To stop now would be unthinkable. Even if they were willing to acknowledge the murders they've committed, if they were to cut things off all those murders would have been in vain, cruel sacrifices for no purpose. Eight worlds full of life extinguished, and that doesn't even include the horrendous loss of life on the Source with each Rejoining. They may feel they OWE it to those lost to see things through - and each new murder is another obligation on the pile...

- Sometimes situations can just be fucking tragic and sad for all involved. Anger is usually easier because it feels powerful, directed, and simpler while sadness tends to come from a more helpless, hopeless, and uncertain place.

- Even if on the off chance that Emet-Selch was totally sane, not compromised, and just plain evil with zero gray involved that would warrant sympathy... the people of Amaurot were innocent. Why be like “I’m not gonna remember shit :)” on those people? Imo heroes should remember ALL of the innocents lost... and the villains who couldn’t be saved too. It’s tragic when it comes to loss like that. Necessary sometimes, but still tragic.

- Separate but slightly related, I am side-eyeing the people who try to go “X is a stand in for Y real world genocide group and if you have sympathy for X you support Y you monster” SO HARD YOU HAVE NO IDEA. Not every evil empire, even the totalitarian and fascist ones, are stand ins for specific real world regimes. Understanding doesn’t equal agreeing with or endorsing. Having sympathy for individual suffering, especially in fiction, also doesn’t mean that you support the person’s ideology and goals. As a society we desperately need to remember the difference between understandable versus justifiable. :/ And for what it’s worth, Garlemald specifically has bits and pieces of MAAAAANY different real world authoritarian governments using a range of strategies and positions.

Disclaimer I got no ill will toward people who been jumping on the “IDGAF” train but I disagree and needed to get my thoughts out haha. Didn’t want to go into full-debate with people who might not be looking for that in the post itself and don’t want to discourage others from exploring their own interpretations! Just figured airing my opinions this way might be aight. Like I alluded to I’m also coming from a place where I’ve dealt with really intense moral policing by fans in the past (not within FFXIV), so that definitely shapes my perspective some.

[strawbrymilkshake]

i just watched the first six episodes of the mp100 netflix show for no good reason other than that i apparently hate myself, so to not put my pain to waste here’s a half-review half-rant thing

i guess ill start with the good and make my way to the shit i hated about this show, but as you can probably guess there’s hardly any good

tome was fun, i guess. she’s got that same chaotic™ energy and had some of the only lines i genuinely laughed at, but also she’s the only member of the telepathy club for some reason? and they merged her character with mezato’s, so i guess she’s got more to do. but judging by the sfx i doubt they had the budget for even one (1) more actor, so ig i can forgive them for that. overall probably the only adaptation that both wasn’t painful to watch and actually warranted the changes they made

teru (from the little i saw of him) was also pretty good. the fight had some....changes, but on his own i thought he was fine, pretty harmless adaptation overall. i stopped watching once i realised that they weren’t gonna go all in and give him the cactus hair so points deducted for that

and the last thing i liked about this show: ritsu! they got a young actor who was good and i didn’t have many issues with him. there was one interaction he had with tome that i liked when she introduced herself and he said ‘oh! tome’s my grandma’s name!’ and tome was like ‘...yeah you and mob are definitely brothers.’ the reason why he’s lower than tome and teru is because. for whatever fucking reason. he is in every. goddamn. scene. like even when it doesn’t make any sense. when mob joins the body improvement club? he’s there. when mob is taking down the lol cult? he’s there. the teru fight? he’s there. i lost count of how many times i was asking myself ‘why the fuck is ritsu here?’ he was inescapable. his presence in those scenes didn’t even add anything to the story. also he’s friends with tsubomi for some reason....i guess to give him more things that mob can be envious of?

speaking of tsubomi.....god. not to be like ‘they didn’t understand the source material!!1!!11!1!!!’ but like. please. it hurt. i get that they were probably trying to lean into the ‘guy gets the girl/high school romance’ type show more but uhh....way to horribly misunderstand the source material, guys. the problem with her is that she is in it so much that it almost entirely defeats the point of her character & what she’s supposed to mean to mob. they interact like every other scene! she’s a pretty close friend to ritsu, so that means they interact even more! she’s their next door neighbour ffs! i only watched the first six episodes and i think i still saw more of her than her entire screen time in the anime put together

and apart from her being so close to mob that it completely destroys the point of him idolising her, it also meant that the writers had to come up with a full personality for her and an actual dynamic for her and mob. and hoo boy they really went and decided that the two of them would have the most awkward, unappealing dynamic ever, huh. like there’s this running gag where she always messes up the words to common phrases, and mob has to correct her, and it’s painful every time. which, i guess (????) makes sense for what their relationship is in the manga & anime, where they’re not close anymore and mob doesn’t even know what she’s like/what he likes about her, but in this show, they were trying to push them together to lean into the romance tropes, so their uncomfortable dynamic doesn’t make sense anyway??

the stageplay got it fuckin RIGHT when they went and cast NO ONE for tsubomi. like. the legend jumped out. they got mob pining for a silhouette. chef’s kiss

holy shit this got long fast. ok the rest is under the cut

i guess im just going character by character now so: dimple. weird guy. the cgi was awful, but you knew that already. but he was just....so weird. and by that i mean he was awkwardly,, never there? when teru exorcises him it’s supposed have at least some impact, but in this show he had like three (3) scenes before it (rather than a couple episodes leading up to it) (and also they cut a shit ton out of the middle of the lol cult arc for...whatever reason) so when he gets exorcised here it’s like...oh no.....that guy...........did mob even speak to him more than once.....

speaking of the pacing of this show: it’s horrendous!! good lord i hate it!! the pacing is shit awful, and it feels like they’re just throwing in ‘’’’’’’’interesting’’’’’’’’ scenes that should take place later in the story bc they know that the audience isn’t going to want to stay around for the atrocious writing! case in point: we see the flashback of mob and reigen meeting in the second episode. the second fucking episode. the reason why it’s delayed so much in the anime (and even more in the manga) has a lot to do with the unfolding of reigen’s character depth and they just?? throw it in so early?? it feels like they’re just going ‘oh by the way, he’s good, or whatever. yeah, he’s totally complex and interesting. just trust us, okay, keep watching the show’ and the pacing of that completely throws off reigen’s character arc

i can’t really remember which episode(s) this was in but they also have this weird subplot with reigen going to the bar alone (yknow..like....s2 scenes...) and lowkey being friends with the bartender guy?? i gotta be honest i wasn’t paying much attention during these scenes but suffice it to say: god i hated reigen. like sure, he’s a sleazy character, but they just made him disgusting. netflix reigen does not drink his respect women juice, and that’s all i wanna say about that

also why is he like 40 years old

anyways back to the pacing, apart from throwing in scenes from wayyy later in the plot, this show also tried to have like four or five plot threads going at once. the place that this hurt the most was probably the teru fight, where the anime spends like two episodes entirely on it and nothing else, but in this show it keeps cutting to the start of the big clean up arc (probably just so they could keep showing ritsu) and reigen’s weird subplot 

and there’s other stuff like that, where they kept cutting to the awakening lab & the scars doing psychic stuff or whatever, i guess trying to entice the audience like ‘we swear there’s plot stuff!! it’s not just slice of life!! there’s evil™ people!!’ and i guess they were gonna pull the ol’ switcheroo™ where the audience thinks the awakening lab and the scars are working together but oh no!! only the scars are evil!! the awakening lab was actually on our side!! but i can’t be bothered to watch that far

also in the teru fight, they got most of the message across (don’t use your psychic powers against other people....mob and teru are the same...) but because they kept cutting away from it they lost the dramatic impact of all of it. the choreography and sfx weren’t as bad as they could have been i guess, but they definitely showed the budget. it also didn’t take place in a school (which...fine, whatever) but it led to something i actually did like: teru attacked mob with glass shards instead of knives, and although i do like the knife metaphor + imagery, you could also argue something about the destructive nature of his power use coming back to hurt him in the shards of glass, and also something about reflections or...something. i just thought it was neat, although i don’t know why they changed the setting from the school in the first place

also in the teru fight: it was raining and ???% stopped the rain katara-style mid air, and even though the cgi still wasn’t all that good, i thought that was a rad concept. but then he just made a tornado instead of ripping buildings apart and you get the idea not a lot of it was good

back to things i hate because i don’t have a good segue!! the writing!! bad!!

i see the writers of this show engaged in the age old storytelling practice of ‘tell, don’t show’

when reigen tells mob to be a good person: “ok, i won’t show off my powers or use them against other people. i’ll become a good person”

when mob loses control of his powers and hurts ritsu as a kid: “these powers are awful and cause nothing but trouble. i’m not going to be using them again”

god i wish i was exaggerating

and, going back to the lol cult, for whatever fucking reason they decided to have that latter line of dialogue to be the full explanation of mob’s complex. like i get that there’s a time for exposition and a time for subtly, but take some cues from the original author and maybe fucking explain the main plot device of the show and not the protagonist’s sad vague backstory rather than the other way around. want to confuse and alienate your audience? good fucking job!! you’ve done it!!

and just because this was my favourite episode in the anime and im fucking bitter!! they cut out so much of dimple’s monologue and just had mob get to 100% pretty much after all dimple says is ‘get a clue.’ like. he puts the mask on, it doesn’t work, ‘get a clue,’ 100%. yeah im totally gonna care when this character comes back to try and manipulate mob later.

also....mob...........

i havent talked about him that much here, have i?

okay specifically w the lol cult first, the whole thing where they put the mask on and he’s not smiling is completely devoid of any impact because!! he’s full on emoting throughout the rest of the show!! like he’ll look worried, embarrassed, he’ll cringe or smile or whatever, and the most it looks like is that he’s just slightly uninterested, but otherwise has a pretty good grip on his emotions. unlike the anime + stageplay where it’s clear that he’s (seemingly) completely unemotional. the reason why i bring up the stageplay is bc, while i know that setsuo ito is 10ish years older than the guy that plays mob in the netflix show, i kinda wish that they just....cast him anyway.....bc they clearly didn’t have any hangups on casting adults for all the other middle schoolers, and ito did such a good job in the stageplay. he’s the only guy who is mob to me lmao (kyle mccarley is on thin ice but he can stay)

i mean mob just straight up showing emotions through the show could have been down to the directing as well. also i’m pretty sure a majority of it is bc he’s constantly around tsubomi, so. stupid decisions lead to stupid outcomes!

and that’s basically it for my weird review/rant on this show. the writing’s bad, the pacing’s bad, they didn’t care at all about the source material, i’m not entirely sure if they cared about the audience either, there was maybe two (2) changes i liked, if that, and everyone should go watch the stageplay. there were probably way more points that i wanted to bring up but i think my brain is already repressing the memory of it for my own safety

if i ever try to watch the rest of this show, shoot me

[my-whumpy-little-heart]

💥 and 🍅 for Floyd and 🔮 and ❤️ for percival (it it’s not too many anyway ahdjdjdk)

Thanks Allen :DD Never too many questions my dude

💥 Are there any emotions your OC doesn’t know how to deal with, doesn’t understand or hates having to feel? Any reason behind this? (For Floyd)

Ooh I think a lot of emotions are hard for Floyd. The only emotions he really feels comfortable with are Being Nice To People and Vague Sadness That’s Always Kinda Stirring Since He Has Unresolved Emotions He Doesn’t Feel Like Dealing With. See, he never really learned How to emotion very well. His childhood was spend in the lower class and working from the earliest age he could. Which, considering this setting is akin to the 1800′s, was probably around the ages of 8 or 9. 

But before I spill his entire life story, yes Floyd had a bit of a hard time and from that has learned the very healthy skill of not wanting to show or deal with his deeper emotions. Feeling too happy in general can make him uneasy, waiting for someone to come around and tell him to knock it off, because a smile must mean he’s been causing mischief and that’s a punishable offense.

Feeling a lot of strong emotions could have impeded him from survival so he doesn’t really like that. Even something like fear, which he felt so so often, stirs those old memories and instincts inside of him. So yeah you can see how that’s working out for him in the main story at the moment lol. (thinks about how i need to write more of that. thinks about all the ideas i’ve got written down. pokes motivation. motivation wibble wobbles and says nothing. i will beat it up later)

🍅 How easily is your OC embarrassed? What subjects make them flush and why? What event has made your OC the most embarrassed they’ve ever been? (Also for Floyd)

Damn, really coming for Floyd’s emotions and insecurities today. Alrighty, well, Floyd gets really embarrassed when he makes a mistake. It’s always been a bit of a thing for him. Just ingrained really, but it’s gotten worse as he’s been mocked or punished for mistakes throughout his life. 

If it’s a particular subject, that’s probably any sort of confrontation. He’s very good at immediately assuming the worst, and will probably flush in a one on one conversation if he gets uncomfortable. The one exception to this is talking with Ray because Floyd trusts him the most and has had a lot of harder conversations with him which he’s handled very well. This buildup of trust has led them to form the close bond they share now. Even so, Floyd still doesn’t like to discuss the more personal topics, it’s just easier now with Ray than anyone else.

Oh, and the most embarrassed he’s ever been... That’s probably gotta be some of the first days Floyd was on the pirate ship. Being found out as a stowaway hiding in their kitchen really wasn’t ideal for him, and sharing a bit about his general life situation to Ray made the man so intensely empathetic that Floyd nearly misinterpreted it as looking down on him even though that’s not what he meant at all. So yeah that adjustment and everything came with a lot of embarrassment.

🔮 What does your OC think is their best trait. What is actually their best trait? What about their flaws? Are they one to admit these flaws or do they like to pretend they’re perfect? (For Percival)

OOooh hm. I think Percival is definitely proud of his swordplay skills and that’s something he values a lot. Which, well, it’s definitely subjective there as to whether or not they’re actually his best trait. Yes, he can hold his own in a fight, but that’s often due to some level of cheating with his magic. Whether surprising an enemy by attacking after having been invisible or avoiding blows by phasing them through him (have I mentioned that power? was that gonna be a secret? yeah part of the invisibility thing is sorta transparency as well, being able to phase through objects or phase objects he’s in contact with through something and wow thinking about that more just gave me a whump idea oh yes. Anyywayyy). So in a level playing field sort of battle where he couldn’t use magic he’d be fairly decent, but yeah his sort of cheating definitely plays a part in his confidence there.

If he had another best trait, it probably would be incredible control over his magical powers. He may not feel like it, but he’s been honing them for a long time and even started developing them at a younger age than most who have magic in this universe. His powers kicked in and saved his life a few times when he was a kid, but he often didn’t notice at the time. So long story short yes he’s very skilled with magic and doesn’t quite realize just how difficult it takes to get to his level of power and control (hehehee and that certainly doesn’t make things easier for Floyd ;D)

Oh and flaws. Wow this is getting long. Well, he’s a fucking narcissist to start. So he isn’t gonna be admitting to any of these flaws anytime soon. But he’s a fairly horrendous leader, not ever doing much to participate with or assist his crew. Though he does care for and respect them more than it may seem, he isn’t much for teamwork and prefers to watch on and do nothing. People flock to work for him because of his status and reputation, not because of his kindness.

❤️ What inspired you to make this OC? How long have you had them? How have they changed in the time you’ve been developing them? (Also for Percival)

Aha, well. I had this crew of really nice pirates going out and being super cool and awesome. And I’m sitting here like: hm I need a reason to hurt this one boy though. Brain said “alright it’s Evil Pirate Time” and I was like yes absolutely I would like that. So Percival came into being. His appearance has changed at least five times in my mind except for his eye color and height (wait that may have changed too oh man who even knows at this point). I knew nearly nothing about his personality or backstory when I started writing him and I just had to kinda go along with it. I’m out of touch with him rn and that hasn’t been making my life with the story easy, but he’s always been pretty spontaneous for me.

So yeah that whole thing happened back in November, so nearly 7 or 8 months now (oh my god it’s been so long that’S WILD WHAT EVEN) and he’s been hanging around being mean and stuff ever since.

[beathewriter-blog]

Forgotten [Darkiplier Short Fanfic.]

Request: none, but I wanted this.

Summary: Dark finally snaps at Y/N after a dire mistake was made, anger that had been held at bay for months now finally hitting the shore.

Word Count: 1,999 words 10,633 characters

Warning: Yelling/Crying, just overall angst. It doesn't really fit cannon, so that’s something too lol

----------------

“You have no idea what it feels like, so don’t you dare act as if you do!”

“Damien-”

“Don’t call me that!”

Dark’s voice had roared so loudly, so unhinged, it left his throat sore. His words were almost incoherent, harmful to the ears the way it shook and skipped, glitching as if it was a broken record. His hair was wild and frizzy, a messed brushed to the side of his splotchy, red face. His eyes were wide, pupils so small that they were barely seen in the dark. His white suit had been scuffed, tie undone as he gasped for air, nails digging into the desk he was leaning against. He looked drunken and furious, a dangerous mixture.

His body trembled as he was slowly failing to contain his anger, jaw clenched as he ran a hand across it, once again taking a deep breath. He breathed, the room silent for a beat before a puzzled look of confusion had masked his face. Even despite all these signs, Dark was hard to read- confused was too vague, yet staring at him had given no answer to how he was feeling. 

The nearly pitch-black room was ominous and eerie, the only light shining from who knows where right onto Dark who had his signature red and blue aura around him. The sound of static had filled the place where silence should be, tension thick and heavy on your shoulders, weighing you down.  When Dark speaks again, his voice is low and gravely, shaking in his fury.

“You know what he did, and yet you still went with him. You still saw him. Still smiled.”

“Laughed.”

It was a statement, not a question. The aura of bright blue and red had darkened greatly, turning into an almost murky black, with just hints and highlights of the colors they once were before. Despite standing still, his body had glitched back and forth, a copy of him even shown screaming even though no sound had come out. He runs his hand through his messy hair, only worsening it. You can see the tremble still in his hands as he continues to run his hand through his hair, before just grabbing it and tugging it as he let out a horrendous scream full of raw, untouched anger that had been buried deep down inside him.

It becomes hard to breathe, the atmosphere had darkened so much. Your ears shook and then started to ring at the glitchy sound of his scream, and it shuffled back and forth in your head so much that your eyes began to water and you stumbled, unable to stand up fully at the pain it caused. Seeing how this affected you, he took a deep breath, a shred of regret lingering in his eyes. Your chest slowly starts to ache, a depression laying over you as a sadness started to creep into brain. As you struggle to breathe, you had to focus on not crying. You wanted to say something- anything that would make him feel better but nothing came to mind.

“Why can’t anyone see that I’m the victim here?”

Dark’s voice was barely above a whisper, hardly heard by the human ear. The only reason you even understood it was because of how he glitched and stuttered, so it was more of ‘W-why, why can’t can’t’ and so on and so forth. His voice echoed as if he was speaking to a backing track. 

“I was murdered! My life was taken away from me out of spite.”

Questions swam in your mind, you felt lost in the void. What were you to say? He was right. Hell, we have even right to be angry- to be upset. But, you could hang out with Mark if you wish, right? It was your choice. You weren’t a bad person for hanging around Mark, were you? You didn’t even know if they were talking about the same Mark. 

Upon receiving no response, Dark had shook his head slowly, his anger becoming completely silent and still. He was no longer shaking, but his breathing was still ragged and harsh. He was still angry, you were sure of it, and his sudden silence was so absolutely frightening that you just froze in place, paralyzed with fear. His eyes just bore into you, as if he was seeing through you, his expression blank and mouth held in a straight line. His body stood straight and tall, towering over you. 

“I really am the perfect villain in his story, he was right. The hero with humble upbringing.”

“Or am I wrong? Am I the hero instead?”

As he spoke, he began to walk towards you in slow and steady steps, an even pace. If you could shrink any more, you would, and it seemed your silence only angered him more as he awaited your answer. The depression had completely dissipated, making the pressure on your chest only grow more. Bug-eyed, you just stare in silence.

“Me? The bad guy? As if! Have you been paying attention to my story?”

You just manage to let out a long-held breath and give the smallest nod you could muster.

“I’ve tried-”

“Obviously not hard enough.”

You open your mouth to argue, but almost immediately shut it. You wondered what Dark had been thinking, what thoughts that may have come to hid mind. He looked troubled, on the brink of snapping. Eyes were the windows to the soul and yet his were blank, void of emotion. He began to pace back and forth, away from you as he wrung his hands together, fiddled with the cuffs on his sleeves and ran his fingers through his hair.

“Allow me this one moment of self-indulgence, because I feel as though I am great. I did nothing wrong… and yet..” 

His words still echoed and glitched, rushing out fast and stressed. He was speaking so fast, you could tell his heart must be racing and panicked, his brain having trouble keeping up with the pace he was running.

“Do you know what it’s like to have no choice? This is all his fault and now he just left me here to rot.”

His voice cracked, stressing some words and rushing past others. You don’t think you’ve heard such raw emotion from him in one sitting before. However, he asked for his self-indulgence, so you shall let him speak.

“I always thought you were a pawn in his game, helpless, lost, I know the feeling. But you’ve been doing it willingly?”

Dark looked at you, his brown eyes stared deep into your soul- in your eyes, helpless and searching for answers. He stopped pacing, stood completely still, leaning forward and looking into you. And then, out of all things to do, he gave a soft smile, shaking his head back and forth. It made him chuckle, light and sweet which turned into a laugh that quickly died out.

And then, if you stared really, really closely at him as he hid behind his hands, which at first were just covering his mouth, muffling his words, they moved up to wipe tears from his eyes as he was silent as could be, shoulders shaking.

“Perhaps I’m the crazy one.”

He shrugged his shoulders, raising his hands in a big grand gesture. All of his movements were drastic and animated as if he were in a play. It was something truly extravagant to see, no matter how bizarre or psychotic it seemed.

“Did you just miss my pretty face? Is that why you never tell me to leave when I come and see you? Or do you truly hate me, and wish to torture me in such a way?”

He began to guilt you, eyebrows raised as he awaited an answer, and he just gave a wink and a sneaky smile like a snake. He rolled his hands as if to say ‘hurry up! Answer me, I’m waiting!’ and the whole time he was smiling something sinister, and you can’t shake the feeling that he is just trying to mess with you, to get in your head. Your look of discomfort must have showed because he laughed.

“I’m sorry to interrupt, were you having fun? Am I making you sad? Don’t you think you deserve to be after what you did to me? Only a terrible, horrible person would do that.”

His words echoed in your head, nearly physically impacting you. His eyes were narrowed, voice in a sing-song, taunting tone. Now, when Dark had glitched form place to place it was calm and calculated, multiples appearing of him every time he rephrased himself as he paced over to the desk once more.

 “I just simply don’t understand.”

He appears behind himself, the two walking in sync.

“I can’t seem to wrap my mind around it.”

And now three.

“You truly have confused me.”

He suddenly appears in the desk, weaving his ring through his fingers, although he had been a few feet away mere seconds earlier, doing something completely different. His face was no longer red, eyes calm and a slight blush on his face. His legs were kicked up, and he was obviously relaxed, enjoying to toy with you. Fully aware of what he was doing and still not caring. He raised an eyebrow, slowly taking his legs from off the desk and leaning forward.

“I have so much power- I have all the answers, and yet you’d still choose him after all he did to me?”

Dark rested his head on his hands, head tilted like a dog lost and thought. In the dim light of the red and blue, he looked so innocent with his fluffy hair and chocolate brown eyes, face focused and zeroed in on concentrating. His eyebrows were furrowed as if he still wasn’t understanding.

“Is it your goal to make me suffer? Because I would really hate that for you. You don’t understand quite what you're doing, Y/N.”

His hands covered his cheeks, and he bit his lip, lost in thought as he scavenged for answers.

“Do you think I’m lying? Have you truly forgotten? I’ve been stuck. Trapped.”

“He said he would let me out. He PROMISED!”

The room shook, and the once again Dark had suddenly changed, becoming sporadic.

“I wore the white suit just for you. White’s always an angel’s color, so I suppose it fits, does it not?”

He lets out a long sigh, shoulders sagging slightly and ruining his rather perfect posture.

“I’ve been waiting patiently, I missed you. Now that we are here together, we can really get to know each other.”

His voice was soft again, but loud enough for you to hear- steady like a rock.

“Did you miss me?”

Upon once again getting no answer, he just laughed, and you start to wonder if you broke him. He seems something demonic, revengeful even. His eyes were happy and sparkling, night and day from when he had cried. His fingers were rung together, his thumb running back and forth over his ring. He hummed a small, static and glitchy tune as he flipped an idea over in his head.

“Games were always his forte, but I’m sick of giving anyone a choice at this point.”

He smiled again, waving his hands over you from head to toe. His eyes scanned you, taking you in and he simply blinked and brushed you off.

“We have both seen where free will has gotten us, have we not you traitor? My little Y/N.”

He spoke your name as if he was disgusted by you. And it hits you- he wasn’t happy. He was still angry; you had made a dire mistake. You had misunderstood.

“My, you made me suffer, it’s your turn now! We have an eternity here, and I think you should take a seat and listen. I’ll let you go once you know my story. What’s I’ve been through and suffered through,”

“Even from the hands you.”

[starlight-matrix]

Nabari no Ou 15th Anniversary!

@nabaridays wrote up some prompts to celebrate the 15th anniversary of NnO and as it’s my favorite manga series of all time, I had to join the fun!

Unfortunately, I wasn’t aware of the prompts’ existence until we were about four or five days in, so instead of starting in the middle of the prompt list, I wrote all mine up in a Google Doc and decided to do a big masterpost in the day of the anniversary. And here it is! Beware for a lot of reading, this shit’s at 4.1k words.

- Catherine Lynne / catielynnelove.tumblr.com Fan of NnO since 2012 -

DAY 01 (Jun. 3rd) - Favorites

My favorite character has always been Miharu, though I do struggle to choose between him and Yoite. I have always been fascinated by his apathetic nature, the way he uses is as a shield while loving the people in his life so incredibly fiercely. He appears neutral and uncaring, but the moment you look beneath the surface, you recognize that he would give his life for those he loves in a heartbeat - and has shown this on multiple occasions.

I also love his development over the series. His apathetic facade slowly falls out of use after he meets Yoite, and he learns that feeling your emotions is important, that letting the people you love know when you’re happy or sad or pissed the fuck off is important.

In the first few chapters we as readers honestly can’t tell a whole heck of a lot from what we’re shown of Miharu. He’s plain, uninteresting, even to us (unless you’re the kind of person who automatically reads between the lines, but let’s face it, not a lot of people are). But by the end of the series, he’s such a vibrant and expressive character that I marvel at Kamatani’s ability to drastically a character’s personality in a way that feels so gradual and natural.

Another reason Miharu is my favorite character is because I tend to see parts of myself in him, as many people do with the characters they like most. I can understand and relate to his apathy in the beginning of the story. His memory of his parents deaths is so deeply traumatic and that the very fibre of his being (objectively, Shinra) locked the memory, and most of his childhood, away for years to come. Because at that time in his life, the pain of it all would’ve broken him.

(E/N: I now remember that Asahi actually erased Miharu’s memories of that event, but I think a good chunk of this will still make sense, and I’m lazy, so I’m not gonna edit it out. Enjoy.)

Emotions, especially ones he didn’t understand - or couldn’t understand, like his feelings toward his childhood that didn’t quite make sense because of his augmented memories - were simply so overwhelming that Miharu pretty much just went “lol don’t wanna deal with those so yEET now they’re gone” and locked them up in a box to be dealt with at a much, much later date. That speaks to me, as a person who has struggled with depression, and the fact that he finds a way to recover from this is very reassuring.

Overall, Miharu is a very complex and realistic character that undergoes more vivid character development than I’ve seen in almost any western media. I love him very much.

DAY 02 (Jun. 4th) - What got you into Nabari no Ou?

This is actually quite a funny story, so buckle up for a wild ride y’all!

When I was 12 years old (God, this sounds like the setup for an angsty villain backstory), my family had a housemate who liked anime. One day I came to beg for him to let me use his video game console to play Little Big Planet and he happened to be watching the second half of the anime - I distinctly remember the second Alya Academy episode being the first one I ever saw. It was my first anime experience outside of a Studio Ghibli film, and to this day remains close to my heart, even though the anime adaptation itself really… just… well, it sucked.

After I finished watching it with him, I went and found the first half of the series on Netflix (back when Netflix did the whole send-a-DVD-to-your-house thing) and watched the whole thing from episode one. And then very quickly became obsessed. I probably watched the anime four times in two months. I had every single one of the English VAs names memorized. I was dedicated.

Eventually I looked up the manga online, and HOO BOI, this is the point where my Nabari no Ou origin story becomes ridiculously hilarious (and stupid).

When I read the manga, I was disturbed by the idea of Kouichi being a villain-type character, as he had been one of my favorites when I watched the anime. And, at the time I was first reading the manga, the apparent “ending” from my perspective was the scene where Kouichi takes the newly-made hijutsu scroll from a bleeding, dying Thobari.

Looking back, I figure the website I was reading it on just didn’t have all the chapters, or perhaps I had happened to start reading while the manga was on hiatus, but at that age I didn’t know of or understand either of those concepts and accepted that sad scene as the end of the manga.

And as such, I wrote the manga off as terrible and ignored it for years.

Flash forward to about 2014, two or three years after writing the manga off as a Fat Mistake, I finally decided to give it another shot. And BY GOD did I cry reading it a second time. Whether it was the two years of maturity, my experiences during those two years, or simply the fact that I read the whole thing that time - I was sobbing in my desk chair over NnO.

It was the most beautiful story I’d ever read. Even now, after five more years of reading beautiful manga, Nabari no Ou remains my absolute favorite, and likely always will.

DAY 03 - What are your favorite scenes?

I’ve always had a soft spot for the Alya Academy arc, even back when all I’d shunned the manga and all I had to go off of was the inaccurate anime adaptation, simply because of how well the character relationships are shown during those sequences (this is one thing the anime did really well in my opinion, actually - Shijima’s verbal reflection on how humans connect to each other and how important those connections are is stunning). Not to mention the displays of how the characters care for one another regardless of what side of the war they’re technically on.

I’ve always loved Subaru as a character, too. I find her motivations to be very realistic and really quite understandable, and I love the little easter eggs in later chapters that imply the Kouga ninja are helping Miharu’s side of the fight even though they’re not visibly involved. The scores from the Alya Academy arc are especially chilling and memorable as well.

Another of my favorites are the chapters following Miharu and Yoite’s escape from the Kairoshuu and their travels afterward. They feel mundane and peaceful, yet blanketed with this layer of grief, like we’re all aware that at any moment their calm could be destroyed and lost forever.  

The scenes about Yoite’s gender were very special to me as a teen still learning about the LGBT spectrum and how different people could be, and the scene of Yoite bandaging Miharu’s aching feet? My heart literally swells every single time I think about it! It was so sweet and loving, my fragile fangirl heart does flips when I read over it.

DAY 04 (Jun. 6th) - Photos & Fashion

I like to think that Miharu keeps every photograph he’s taken and has them stored safely away in a box or chest or drawer. In my experience, people who have lost loved ones tend to treasure photographs, more than someone who hasn’t experienced loss might. A lot of times a photo is all someone has of someone they loved outside of a memory, and contrary to popular belief, if you don’t look at someone - physically or in a photo - for a long time, you do forget how they look.

Miharu has lost many people: his parents, Yoite, Kouichi and Shijima, even Shinra, in a way - so I imagine this observation would be doubly true of him. Especially if he has Yukimi as an example to go by - pretty sure that guy has kept every photograph he’s ever taken in his life!

(As far as fashion goes, I honestly think everyone’s fashion in NnO is horrendous, so...)

DAY 05 (Jun. 7th) - Favorite character design in the series?

Gosh, it’s hard to choose, I love so many of them! Gau is fascinating to me because I figure his hair must be difficult to draw, with all those little curls and cowlicks. Shijima’s too, with the way it frames her face and leaves just a tiny little opening for her eyes to peer out at you through.

But, as with most of these character-specific prompts, my answer will have to be Miharu. The idea that Asahi reshaped his face to look more like her own when she used Shinra to save him is very interesting, and the fact that Kamatani manages to draw Miharu in a way that both clearly shows their resemblance to one another and establishes Miharu as his own character with his own unique features and gestures and ways of carrying himself is incredible.

Miharu’s stance are also very telling to me as a reader: he often stands loosely, almost lazily, as if he really couldn’t care less about where he is and what they’re doing, which rings true for a good chunk of the story. It matches well with his (mostly) fake apathy and kind of makes him seem bland and boring as a character. But as the story progresses, he becomes more open, shows affection more easily. He’s quicker to stand up for his beliefs and the people he loves. All of this shows in the way he carries himself throughout later chapters.

DAY 06 (Jun. 8th) - Favorite location in the series?

The Shimizu estate, without a doubt.

The secluded area, the forest in every direction, the house itself - it’s all so beautiful to me. Ot gives me the feeling of rural Japan and more traditional Japanese living. Even after the house has burned away and all that’s left is a field full of Spider Lilies, there’s a kind of sober beauty lying over the place, made even more intense when Shirogamon stands watch over it.

DAY 07 (Jun. 9th) - Positive Influences

The thing that I preach about the most when I talk about NnO to others is the fact that the series has no absolutes. There is no true right or wrong, no clear villains nothing that actually puts our heroes above anyone else. Which, in a way, means that are really are no heroes in the story at all, which is a very rare and interesting way to tell a story.

The entire series deal with a greyscale in morality. There’s no bad vs. good or moral vs. immoral, just your own goals and people whose goals don’t match yours. Opinions and ambitions differ vastly even between people on the same side of the fight - Thobari and Raimei want to seal the Shinrabanshou, Kouichi wants to use it to defeat his immortality, Miharu even changes side on a few occasions - yet they all work together together to achieve their own very different ends.

Even those who can be coded as villain on the surface have something motivating them to do what they do, and more often than not, those motivations are understandable to the reader and actually have you sympathizing with the character. Hattori wanted to rid the world of the need for war. Subaru wanted to save the person she loved most in the world. Yamase wanted to win his family back (I think? It’s been a while).

Even Katarou and Kannuki, two characters who have practically nothing to redeem them, at least have motivations that are pretty damn realistic. Kannuki wanted to capitalize on Kouga’s Forbidden Art and use it to grow Alya Academy’s profit and power through the surface world. A Lot of people are like this in real life, and while you may not sympathize with him over it, it is a motivation that is true of our own world as well as the one in this story.

An Katarou, as far as I understand, is obsessed with Shinra herself, rather than the hijutsu and the power it holds. He manipulated hundreds of people and hundreds of situations to suit his own needs, then literally got himself killed - just to see her one last time. And… yeah, I don’t think anyone really sympathized with him, but hey, I can see what pushed him to do what he did.

To me, Katarou is symbolic of someone with an addiction - their mind is so clouded by a need for some specific thing that all other human aspects of that person just fall away, and they’ll do whatever it takes to get what they want.

I also appreciate how the characters handle their differences throughout the story. Their honesty with each other, the way they support each other even when they’re all heading in opposite direction. The Alya Academy arc (I really love this arc okay) especially shows this, in how the ninja from Banten and Kairoshuu - two very opposing factions - fight together against the Kouga without hesitation, despite the fact that in most other situations, they’d be fighting each other.

It’s a wonderful thing to promote: that even though people might have different opinions or goals, it doesn’t mean they have to hate each other.

DAY 08 (Jun. 10th) - Favorite Extra?

I am IN LOVE with the little between-chapter 4koma pieces, especially the ones from the Alya Academy arc (God, I’ve talked so much about this arc). Subaru fantasizing about Miharu being her little brother and making her birthday cake? Adorable. Miharu and Yoite getting stuck behind a bookshelf and terrifying an opponent by asking for help out? Hilarious.

I love that Kamatani put those in, both as a peek into happier aspects of the world he created, and as a way to add a bit of sun in between the much darker, much sadder chapters.

DAY 09 (Jun. 11th) - Headcanons

I’m not much of a headcanon person, to be honest, and especially not with this series. It feels off to me, to try and add to something that’s already so perfect. However, I do agree with a couple of headcanons I’ve seen - particularly the ones theorizing that Yukimi is aro-ace. It makes a lot of sense to me in how his character is portrayed when nearly every other character in the series has a romantic match, and as an ace person myself, more representation is always welcome.

DAY 10 (Jun. 12th) - Alternate Universe

I once started (and quickly abandoned out of shame) a very cringey, very out-of-character fanfic, in which the Nabari world didn’t exist and all the characters meet through natural means in the surface world. Other than that, however, I’ve not put much thought into Nabari no Ou AUs.

But something I would LOVE to see is a crossover between NnO and Shimanami Tasogare, as the two stores canonically take place in the same location - NnO being in Banten, a fictional town  based on the real town of Onomichi, and Shimanami Tasogare being confirmed to take place in plain old Onomichi itself. It’s been a while since I’ve read Shimanami Tasogare, but I remember the leader/owner of the little house the cast gathers in as giving me a distinctly Nabari-world vibe, and I think it would be interesting to see the NnO characters react to a community like the one presented in Shimanami Tasogare.

(And also perhaps have some romantic relationships and sexualities proven canon. Perhaps.)

DAY 11 (Jun. 13th) - Favorite song from the OST?

It’s a firm tie between the opening theme and the second ending theme. I have every song in the OST memorized after years of hearing them day in and day out, but those two themes always give me this tingling nostalgic feeling, like rereading a book from your childhood or finding a toy as an adult that you’d thought was lost forever. The animation and symbolism in those themes are also very telling of the series and the character’s connections to each other (a bit obviously, at times), and the lyrics are special to me in a way I can’t describe. They’re precious to me, and  to me experience of NnO as a whole, considering I started with the anime first (a bad idea).

DAY 12 (Jun. 14th) - Are there any songs that make you think of NnO?

“Neopolitan Dreams” by Lisa Mitchell ( X ) ( X )

I once watched a cute Raimei/Kouichi AMV set to this song listened to the lyrics, I understood how the author had put them together. I very much feel like the lyrics echo Raimei’s thoughts on how Kouichi starts to act in later chapters, becoming more and more distant until he almost appears to be an antagonist rather than one of the perceived heroes. The song also makes me think of Raimei’s stubbornness and pride, her unwillingness to accept option besides her own conclusions until she’s had the full story and nothing less.

I can never get their faces out of my head while listening to this song, which I guess means the song reminds me more of Raimei and Kouichi than NnO in general, but it still counts, right?

DAY 13 (Jun. 15th) - Food

I’ve never really thought too hard on it, but now that I am, it’s actually very interesting to note how different characters use food - the Rokujo Okonomiyaki shop, in particular - to their advantage.

Thobari uses his (implied, before the start of the overall plot) regular visits to try and get Miharu to believe him about the Shinrabanshou and the Nabari world. Thobari uses the close proximity to explain his motives to Miharu, who physically cannot leave the situation, lest the food burn to a damn crisp (and I figure Naoko wouldn’t be pleased if that happened every time Thobari came in). He also very clearly uses this to keep tabs on Miharu when outside of a school setting where Miharu has no choice to be in Thobari’s sight, and later, as a way to either catch up on what’s going on in the Nabari world or - as in several cases - simply demand answers from Miharu.

Raimei uses the shop as a way to get closer to Miharu. She charms her way into getting free food (and sometimes, free lodging as well) and I assume her thinking is probably something on the lines of “Free Food + Spend Time With Miharu = Information on Where Raikou Might Be.” Of course, this likely isn’t her motive in later chapters, because, well, character development.

Food is also an important bonding thing for Yoite and Yukimi. In a lot of the scenes where we see Yoite and Yukimi in their home, they’re eating together, and I always took it as a display of their familial relationship - cooking dinner for Yoite the way a dutiful older sibling would for their younger sibling - thoughI doubt either of them would admit they’re like brothers. The significance of lemonade should also be noted for this topic - I could go on for ages about it.

(But I won’t unless people ask me to, because this piece is long enough already!)

I don’t have much memory of this scene being as big a deal in the manga as it was in the anime - but I also haven’t seen either in a while, so I could be wrong - but the birthday cake scene from the latter half of the anime left an impact on me even back when I’d only seen the anime, and it was the first thing that came to mind when I saw the prompt was “food.” Gau’s pride in the cake he made and his determination to get any kind of praise out of Yoite is very touching, especially when you take into account that Yoite literally saved Gau’s life, and that Gau knows this, as well.

The Kairoshuu - particularly Yukimi, Raikou, Gau, and Kazuho - are all shown bonding on more than one occasion at Kazuho and her husband’s sushi shop, and there is significance to those occasions in the rather heavy conversations they have during those visits. And there’s also the time Miharu cooked okonomiyaki for all the main Kairoshuu member after he’d first joined their clan - similar to how a recently hired employee would bring cookies for their new boss.

Food has a lot of significance in Nabari no Ou, no matter where you look.

DAY 14 (Jun. 16th) - Favorite village, and thoughts on the Forbidden Arts?

As far as morals and motivations go, I would have to choose Banten, as their (or at least Thobari’s) main opinion is that the Shinrabanshou shouldn’t be used because it throws off the balance of the universe. I definitely understand this opinion, because a lot of things can go wrong if the wrong kind of person is making wishes to Shinra and having them granted.

Although, I think that if anyone were to use the ability in a way that leaves the balance of the world intact, it would be Miharu, and this is even shown in the series itself. He doesn’t have the kind of greed or anger that would taint a person’s motivations when making their wishes, he just wants to do what is best for others- especially Yoite. Yoite is important to him, and therefore Yoite’s wish is also important to Miharu. And, as we see in later chapters, Miharu puts granting Yoite’s wish above even his own happiness. I feel I would make a similar decision were I in his shoes.

(For aesthetic, though, I’d choose Fuuma. Their village is hidden and surrounded by forest and in that lovely traditional Japanese style, and their uniforms are great. If Saraba were Chief I’d join.)

DAY 15 (Jun. 17th) - Favorite minor/supporting character

Gau! Definitely Gau! Gosh I love him so much. He’s optimistic and tries his best to look for the best in situations and in people, and his smile is so freaking sunshiney, I bet he lights up rooms with it. He’s awkward and quirky and I can relate so hard. But he’s also strong? He stands up to other ninja even though he really doesn’t have the physical ability to defend himself or others. He puts his life in danger to tell Raimei the truth about her family immediately after swearing silence to Raikou, his boss, who could 100% kill him if he found out Gau had broken his promise. And I bet you Gau would’ve told Raikou about him telling Raimei as soon as he’d gone home, if the bullshit at the Shimizu property hadn’t gone down the way it did.

And speaking of that scene- he throws himself in front of Raikou’s katana to save the life of a girl he hadn’t known for more than a day, who had threatened to kill him, who was seeking to kill the person he treasured most in the world. Who does that?! Gau apparently. He literally gives his life for just the possibility that Raikou and Raimei can make up and be happy siblings again. He gives his life so that the person he loves can maybe reconcile with someone else they loved.

He makes a conscious effort to include Yoite in conversations in which he would otherwise be largely ignored, and while I doubt Yoite would care either way, it’s the thought that counts, right? And, at least in the anime (it’s been a while since I read the manga) he puts his life on the line to help Yoite and Miharu even though, as I said before, he can’t really defend himself all that well.

Basically, I’m in love with Gau and want him to be happy. Sweet baby!

DAY 16 (Jun. 18th) - Free Day

I don’t really have anything else to say but I’m posting all of these today (I was late for the original posting by like four days so I figured I’d write them all out and post them together) so I’ll count this as my day 16 entry! Thank you so much if you’ve read this far, I know it was probably daunting to look at this long as fucking post but I’m glad you took the time to read my personal reflection on NnO! This manga means a lot to me and it’s nice to discover other people who love it as much as I do (I’ve literally met two people in my entire life who’ve read it without me suggesting it).

Keep the love going y’all, I hope to see you again! And feel free to hit me up if you’d like to talk about NnO, I’d love to connect with other fans! Seeya owo

[advernia]

i’m amazed that i’ve been active for at least a couple days straight??? is it the effect of lesser fe3h playtimes + the silly coworker writing challenge at the workplace??? oh well ∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿

since i remembered i was trying to make work commentary a thing here, more rambling / author’s notes under the cut!

jul 6th // ikerev

push your way through the cracks is the first edgar/mc i’ve written here and while i’ve mentioned there that edgar is my fav out of the cast, i fear that i’ll probably take me a very long time to write another one bc... he’s my favorite. i noticed i have the tendency not to write much (or have finished works) about ships i really, really like despite... you know, liking them. hopefully not - shipping aside, i like exploring the characterizations of enigmatic types like edgar.

about the fic, i pretty much like it save for the second part bc i think i could’ve done something more with it - not exactly change the setting, but expounded a little further on it. i don’t know, it feels lacking somehow in comparison to the first two.

there are a lot of flower-related descriptions tossed here and there, but i think i succeeded in not being so purple prose-y? hopefully! this was pretty descriptive, i guess.

with this edgar fic present, that means i have 2 more red army doods to write about, namely zero & jonah. i was really aiming to make edgar the last one tho haha.

jul 12th // ikerev

weave me into your web is canon based, specifically pt. 24 of sirius’ route where they say ‘goodbye’. note those quotation marks.

i think i wrote this after a discussion i had with a friend about sirius & his route - she read some posts commenting on the route and she wanted a nearby opinion. we got into an agreement: while we do find sirius to be indeed husbando material, his route would’ve risked nothing if they gave him more / emphasized his flaws. his flaws, not mc’s, gosh. 

no, seriously. in my opinion, mc fretting so much about being immature sort of blinds her from the little things that prove sirius is not so composed as he appears to be. it gets even worse when she realizes she’s fallen in love with him, and while i enjoy the black army going kira-kira rabu support team + seth being hopeless suitor, i’m going 50/50 on mc. she’s written to be indeed very single-minded come the war phase and while that’s not necessarily bad since she gets to broaden her perspective as she always does, i think i would’ve appreciated it if she came to most of the realizations on her own by reflecting on them based on how the events around her are progressing; and not simply by sirius / someone else pointing it out for her. no wonder she’d think she’s immature in comparison - it also irks me a bit that she keeps on fretting about her feelings for sirius. this is what i’d be sad to see again in other routes: the romance overthrowing the potential / present character development. 

side note: i understand that in relationships with a notable age gap, maturity / perceived maturity can be a problem - i just wished that the route downplayed on this bc honestly, there are other things more interesting to explore than that angle, like, say; isn’t she from another culture or world or something????????? will those differences affect our potential relationship??????????????

on sirius himself, i recall reading on reddit that one person didn’t pick up ikerev for the reason that the cast is too perfect. that’s a fair opinion. i think i can relate this to sirius himself: while throughout the route you do see some flaws in him, he’s still overall the dude you’d write home about + that dude you’d dream introducing to your parents complete with that suave voice (thank u junichi suwabe). no, i’m not saying that he has to have some unlikable or quirky trait / wangsty backstory, it’s just that in my opinion he’s desirable but not exactly relatable. let him struggle, let me see him rise up from it. show me his humanity. there’s the scene with him and lancelot, but i want more. tho him being afraid of being alone is what i find extremely relatable and endearing about him, very nice. otherwise... well, maybe i have to reread the route again or smth.

anyway. the fic emphasizes actually on his character trait of self-control / restraint. did u know too much is bad for u??? it can reflect that since you hold yourself back too much, it could mean that you’re masking your true feelings, for example. there are various psychological studies on that. *stares at sirius* hMMM.

i took care to be quite descriptive on that kiss scene and at the same time, not to be so emotional on it bc it’s still sirius lol - i believe he’s not one to lose himself completely to his emotions, but he’s not that afraid to succumb to some of it - especially if he actually wants to feel them.

... this turned out to be a rant portion rather than a fic commentary now didn’t it

aug 24 // ikerev (i’m seeing a pattern here)

a beginner’s guide to waltz was seriously just some formatting experiment, then it blew up to something larger. i actually like it tho, it’s cute.

writing oliver is actually fun, not bc of the reason that i can be rude. he is rude, but he’s not like that for just the sake of being so. as seen with blanc, it’s probably a result of habit. why exactly he chose to be verbally aggressive is something i’d like to know in his route.

i have no idea how the relationship shift is portrayed either, but i do hope it’s a mortifying revelation on mc’s part lol. like, lookie here, that little kid with his wee shorts and pretty hat that you hang out with all the time and don’t care about acting so ladylike around was that hot hunk who saved you before! oliver’s so amused and never letting her live it down.

for the line ‘i’m not interested in asking you about a decision you’ve made since you arrived here’: the decision mentioned is mc’s promise not to fall in love & to go home. i think oliver would be one of those routes where he falls for her but wants her to go home anyway, but the difference in his route is that he’s very adamant to make her leave. maybe thinking along the lines of ‘i don’t want you to end up like me’ or something. idk. idk what i’m trying to type at this point, lol.

just some random thought, but i do hope ikerev artist tcg someday draws mc in the game outfits / hairstyles bc she’s actually rly pretty. the description of mc’s outfits / fashion of part 4 of the fic was out of me just staring at the my closet portion of the game. don’t ask - i like the hc of oliver & mc having elegant wardrobes / fashion sense, and since i’m too lazy to check up 19th century london fashion trends...

sep 28 // collar x malice

haunted by something still alive was the result of me thinking about guns. don’t ask me either. maybe it’s also a result of me wanting to write something else that isn’t from my horrendous drafts folder lol.

these were actually nice drabble practices, and the first one i clearly had i mind was shiraishi’s. i honestly think it would be fitting, probably around the start of the route where they haven’t got to know each other so well.

from there on i tried to do the drabbles in the route order i did when i played the game, which was mineo - sasazuka - okazaki - shiraishi - yanagi. but tbh when i was writing it became shiraishi - mineo - yanagi - sasazuka - yanagi again - okazaki, lol. i rewrote yanagi’s and okazaki’s three times.

subtitles have their respective mathematical operations on it - i find it kind of cool and funny that those are their symbols (amnesia had the card suits), but when you do think of it properly, it does relate to their characters.

... never forget that hoshino ichika is canonically good with guns.

sep 28 // ikerev

in absence of glass slippers as stated was a part of one of my first ikerev drafts. still a draft until now, but the portion i posted is one of the ‘finished’ sections of the fic.

i don’t headcanon mc as a respectable lady from a equally respectable house or her being a well-off girl, but i like the concept of her being a self-taught lady of society aka she learned stuff like manners, dancing, and etc. out of curiosity or for more practical reasons like fitting in. 19th century london is still the victorian era, so social class and propriety was still a thing.

her taking off her shoes to practice dancing with ray is a sort of a challenge, actually... his measure of improvement will be based on the times that he steps on her feet / how many blisters her feet would gain by the end of the session, lolol - that’s why she says that stepping on a rock is the least of her problems. pretty hardcore, isn’t she?

thus the title actually - glass slippers (mary janes actually) are pretty delicate, but don’t you think a lady’s foot is much more delicate?

with ray’s fic up, i’ve officially written a piece for all of the black army men! nice.

sep 29 // ikerev

neither heaven or hell is holy shit, an mc-centered fic! hella rad - i was half thinking to classify it as a drabble, but since i decided that drabbles are pieces that i may get back on, i kept it as a full fic instead since i’m happy with how it turned out.

all of my screamings are in the tags, so i don’t have much to add besides that lol. however, the writing here is pretty different, and that’s because i was trying to do a three sentence fic challenge kind of thing. buuuuut it became three paragraphs with three lengthy sentences instead lol.

also, there’s some stuff highlighting mc’s london-er/english-ness. washing powder is the british term for laundry soap. 19th century roofs for royals were usually panels, and wooden beams for commoners. different as chalk and cheese is a british expression. i’m certainly not british but i just like emphasizing the fact that mc is of another culture/world, thus there should be differences in how she perceives things / her mannerisms & actions / her way of speech. i’ve been conscious of that in all of my fics involving her.

actually, i do make it a point to watch her way of speaking. i really like the polite way of speaking of 19th century britain (and also of today), so i try to integrate that despite the fact that i’m not british myself lol. it’s hard to fully convey it, but i try with hoping that it doesn’t seem too off. i should probably look for more references to practice it.

this was a very spontaneous piece with actually minor editing involved, and i’m pretty proud of how it turned out.

[comicteaparty]

November 4th-November 10th, 2019, 2019 CTP Archive

The archive for the Comic Tea Party week long chat that occurred from November 4th , 2019 to November 10th , 2019.  The chat focused on Princess Pop by carcarchu.

Featured Comment:

Chat:

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- WEEK LONG BOOK CLUB START!

Hello and welcome everyone to Comic Tea Party’s Week Long Book Club~! This week we’ll be focusing on Princess Pop by carcarchu~! (https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/princess-pop/list?title_no=173793)

You are free to read and comment about the comic all week at your own pace, so stop on by whenever it suits your schedule! Remember, though, that while we allow constructive criticism, our focus is to have fun and appreciate the comic. Below you will find four questions to get you started on the discussion. However, a new question will be posted and pinned everyday (between 12:01AM and 6AM PDT), so keep checking back for more! You have until November 10th to tell us all your wonderful thoughts! With that established, let’s get going on the reading and the chatting!

QUESTION 1. What has been your favorite scene in the comic so far? What specifically did you like about it?

QUESTION 2. What do you think Kizumi’s secret is that she seems to be hiding? Why is she convinced it would change how others saw her? Additionally, how does Ritsu know the secret and why is Ritsu willing to keep it a secret?

FeatheryJustice

Just started reading but I wish I knew more about the poor girl who left her spot for Kizumi. Must be so disappointed later.

carcarchu

@FeatheryJustice I actually have plans for her but it'll will take forever to get to them at the pace i'm going

FeatheryJustice

Ohhh! I'm glad, I want her to be actually really good and it's like the feels bad moment if she just was able to stay in line long enough she would have been able to get in XD

Also so far I don't trust Rain, bubbly girls make me scared XD

carcarchu

ok this is somewhat of a spoiler but goldie (girl who's spot got taken by kizumi)'s entire character gimmick is that she has horrendous luck. in season 1 she tried to audition but got horrible food poisoning and couldn't make it too. basically her greatest enemy is herself

FeatheryJustice

RIPPO I love her

RebelVampire

@carcarchu Just so you know, spoilers get archived along with the rest of the chat. So make sure it's something you don't mind the public knowing before posting spoilers.

carcarchu

Yep it's no problem! Thanks for letting me know!

RebelVampire

QUESTION 3. At the moment, who is your favorite character? What about that character earns them this favor?

QUESTION 4. Given Yuna originally didn’t do so well at the beginning of her own season, what do you think changed how she sung and eventually caused her to win? How will this play a role in Kizumi’s story?

snuffysam

3) Hmm... I'd say my favorite character is... Luna. She's abrasive, but she's very practical rather than just being mean for mean's sake, which I like. Like, I find it interesting that Luna's deciding to be Kizumi's friend even after she (allegedly) tried to screw her over, because Luna knows Kizumi can be helpful to her. 4) My guess as to how Yuna's story plays into Kizumi's story is that Yuna sees herself in Kizumi. Like, she sees the potential for Kizumi to go beyond like she did (which I'm guessing is why she was disappointed in Kizumi's team performance). As for what specifically caused that change... no idea. Could be something like "she sings from the heart", or perhaps a really rigorous singing practice regimen?

RebelVampire

QUESTION 5. What has been your favorite illustration in the comic so far? What specifically about it do you like?

QUESTION 6. What do you think Ritsu’s story is given how cynical and serious she is about the world of idols? Do you think her mind can be changed, or will she continue to suffer through everything?

jaciopara

5) any panel with Luna being a snob in it. Shes my fav. We stan a queen 6) shes gotta have some kind of like,, tragic my parents were celebrities bg or like a bad experience with kizumis kind of hopeful personality

RebelVampire

1) My favorite scene so far has probably been the group session where Kizumi enacts her plan to have everyone just skip solos. It was nice to see Kizumi and Luna work together, and I kind of liked that someone not Luna was the "villain" in that moment. It really spoke to the fact that no matter how nice all the girls might be, they're all also rivals. 2) I feel like Kizumi must have some past as a celebrity. Either through her parents, or maybe she had been a failed child star. Or maybe she was a baby in a diaper commercial. I kind of feel like this isn't her first time singing though, granted probably the first time singing for people on such a large scale. Which I think this must be how she knows Ritsu. Ritsu recognizes her for showbiz way back in the day.

3) My favorite character is probably Kizumi. I like her overly polite attitude, because I kind of relate to that in a lot of ways. That and I respect her attitude to just want everyone to get along. I also like that this is kind of a double-edged sword, where sure she can play peace keeper, but then she get walked all over and dragged into contests she didnt want to be a part of. So I just really like this cute and sweet aspect about her. 4) I feel like Yuna must have had some transcendental experience. Like maybe before she wasn't inspired and that although she tried her best, she didn't have the right motivation to win. And then she met a singer who really inspired her and who changed how she viewed singing in general. And instead of something that sounds nice, she strived to make her singing something that changed the hearts and minds of those around her. As for how this plays into Kizumi's story, given this mysterious Nagato figure, I assume that is who changed Yuna's life. The joke dark theory I have is a storyline ripoff from one of my fave mangas where the singer made herself sing better by tapping into sad emotions. Which she made herself sad by killing people close to her. So maybe that's what Yuna did.

5) It's definitely the illustrations from Yuna's performance. https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/princess-pop/chapter-12/viewer?title_no=173793&episode_no=15 I like the color schemes used, but legit, I am super biased this time in terms of favorites. I just honestly really love Yuna's outfit. I could look at that outfit all day. <3 6) I feel like Ritsu was happy go-lucky, maybe kind of like Kizumi, and then got super betrayed and super burned because showbiz is cut throat. And I also feel like she must have people around her who have put intense pressure that she has to succeed as an idol. So Ritsu feels trapped while also incapable of showing trust. So this makes her cyncical and mean because that is not a fun way to live. I feel like Ritsu's mind could be changed, but I think she either has to be convinced to trust again or convinced that showbiz is dumb and do things that make you happy. I feel like either is a challenge, but I do think Kizumi could help her since they have this mysterious past connection.

carcarchu

@RebelVampire THANK YOU for your long and thoughtful comments!! i won't say how close you got on some of your theories but it was a joy to read them!

RebelVampire

QUESTION 7. Which characters do you enjoy seeing interact the most? What about their dynamic interests you?

QUESTION 8. What do you think this story has to teach us about rivalry, competition, and how people handle it? In what ways do you think rivalry will get the better of the characters, and what ways will they triumph over those obstacles?

redbeanbunny

1. Favorite scene is definitely Kizumi making the plan proposal to Luna, and their meeting afterwards. It's one of the most intriguing personality bits we've seen of Kizumi, and it's cool to see that Luna isn't a cookie-cutter prissy rival. Kizumi is a nice girl but she's not just passive! I'm so interested in what Kizumi will bring to the table in the future! >:3 (alsoluna'soutfitsareallstylish) 2/4/6. I think Kizumi may be related to Nagato, the singer Yuna likes, whether he was a relative or maybe someone who she met up with randomly and joined during singing sessions. IDK, maybe in a park somewhere lol? There's no way she would just be a wildcard singer with no training or interest! Yuna was probably fibbing a little bit about seeing herself in Kizumi, she really made a connection between Kizumi and that singer even if it was just through her voice or style. Maybe Kizumi didn't want to be judged for being related to a celebrity. Or maybe... when she was a child she accidently did something in the past that prevented Nagato from continuing to sing. Depending on what it was it could possibly make people angry with her and she avoided a great opportunity for it. Is it really a coincidence her home is so near the filming site of this contest? :3c I think Ritsu knows about it from childhood bc showbiz and is angry at Kizumi for giving up on something she worked hard to get but was easily given to Kizumi, and maybe she knew Nagato too so thought that Kizumi wasted his efforts on her. Maybe she was involved secretly maybe accidentally and this contributes to her anxiety? Who knows.... but someone is definitely putting pressure on Ritsu maybe forcing her to stay in the biz.(edited)

redbeanbunny

3. My favorite character so far is Luna. She's kind of mean, but she's direct, confident and knows what she wants. Not to say she's not complex, but right now being straightforward makes her stand out from the cast. But my favorite design is definitely Yuna. I think I need to know more about everyone. 5. Probably the last panel of Ritsu in the group concert. Her pose is so powerful. It's so different from her backstage anxiety, makes me wonder about her! (I also love the endcard of Kizumi in a black dress and pink teddy jacket ) 7. It was short, but definitely Luna and Kizumi for the aforementioned reasons. They both have potential to be successful for different aspects and really compliment each other! Like Rain is nice too, but I feel like she doesn't have much going for her right now and it's also a reason she didn't have the presence to bring together her team. Marina is hilarious (I'm sorry for laughing at your suffering Marina but I can also relate to people not pulling weight on a big production T^T...) and I thought the scenes where she was reacting to Kizumi to be great, even if it's more as commentary than them interacting. 8. I think there will be lessons about taking what you're given and working with it to solve problems and move forward. You can only go so far without support, but you can't just go with the flow with others. You can already see the differences in the group elimination. I'm not really sure what the winner of Princess Pop gets, but maybe the girls will find something else out of their time on the show.

RebelVampire

QUESTION 9. What sorts of art or story details have you noticed in the way the comic is crafted that you think deserves attention?

QUESTION 10. Who exactly is Nagato, and why is Yuna so obsessed with them? What does this have to do with Kizumi? Additionally, how might Yuna’s obsession bias how she judges the contest, and what consequences might there be for that?

RebelVampire

7) I enjoy seeing Kizumi and Luna interact the most. At first, I thought they were gonna have the typical bully/rival relationship. But then not only did Kizumi willingly say "Hey, let's work together," but then Luna through a curve ball saying, "Hey, let's be friends." Nothing about their relationship is typical for what their characters would normally be expected to do, so I like this aspect of figuring out exactly what their relationship is. 8) I feel the story shows us that there are two ways we can go about rivalry. We can use rivalry to drive us to a better place and use it as motivation to do better, in a respectful and friendly manner. Or, we can let rivalry and competition bring out the worst in us in the most self-absorbed way possible. Sadly, I think this comic is true to life in that we've seen a lot more of the worst than the best, and that when it comes to competition, we should probably prepare for the worst (and not think ourselves immune). I feel like the characters will are going to overcome the obstacle of having to hate your rival. But I think there's going to be lots and lots and lots of betrayals as characters have to pick between new friends theyve known a short time and their lifelong dreams.

9) I've really enjoyed the inclusion of bits from the last episodes in the new episodes at the very beginning. I know this is one of those things people will feel really mixed on, but I think in terms of not reading the comic in bulk, it's super helpful in the presentation. Sometimes people need a refresher if it's been a while, and the moments are pretty short so it doesn't hurt the bulk read all that much either. 10) As I theorized earlier, I think Nagato is someone who Yuna was moved by and influenced her own singing to the point she won the competition. I would say that maybe Kizumi is Nagato's reincarnation, but not sure that's the direction this story is going. Maybe Nagato is one of Kizumi's parents or something though. Also, yes. Yes this obsession will totally bias Yuna. We already saw it happen since she criticized for not being able to hear each singer individually. And I think the others will pick up on the fact she has a preference for Kizumi and get super mad at Kizumi for that. It's legit probably just gonna make Kizumi's life hell. ;_;

RebelVampire

QUESTION 11. What do you think are this particular comic’s strengths? What do you think makes this comic unique? Please elaborate.

QUESTION 12. Given recent events, why do you think Luna is suddenly interested in being Kizumi’s friend? Is it genuine, or does Luna have ulterior motives? What do you think Luna’s backstory is in general?

jestershark

11. I think this comic's strengths are definitely in the character interactions -- like all good idol competition shows! I also think one of the most compelling things is the subversion of some of the expectations that you have going in. 12. I think Luna is both interested in Kizumi and in it for her own purposes-- I think she's genuinely curious and interested in Kizumi, but maybe thinks of it as more of a self centered move.

redbeanbunny

9. I think a plus point is that everyone has a really unique style that i think matches their personalities, even ahen wearing different clothes. I also like when the artist tries to do something fancier with panels for moments like showcasing Ritsu in the group song or for Yuna singing. 11. I think the comic's strength is where some of our expectations of characters are challenged, while keeping it light-hearted though. 12. I think its probably that she's genuinely interested! I mean Kizumi technically reached out first after all. But she'll probably be okay with some messing and around and manip, but not malicious. Its competition. And you know what they say, keep your friends close and your enemies closer xD

RebelVampire

QUESTION 13. What are you most looking forward to in the comic? Also, do you have any final thoughts to share overall?

QUESTION 14. At the end of the day, who do you think will win the current season of Princess Pop? Will it be Kizumi or someone else? What do you think will become of the winners and losers?

RebelVampire

11) I think this comic's strengths are how it kind of defies expectations. There are a lot of moments in the comic where you think the story is gonna go one way based on past story flows and general character types. But then it doesn't. Instead, it takes you to a new place, so each plot point is really interesting to explore since the outcome keeps you on your toes. 12) I think Luna sees Kizumi as useful. So instead of trying to oust Kizumi from the start, she's decided keeping Kizumi in the competition longer is more interesting and more beneficial in the long term. As for this longterm benefit, it's hard to say. Maybe Luna feels that Kizumi's lack of cutthroat passion to slay the competition at all competition makes her sort of a weak leak when it comes down to individual competitions. So Luna can essentially focus on getting rid of the opponents she feels are stronger first and then easily oust the weaker links, so to speak. As for Luna backstory, I feel she's the type of person who must of had parents who put constant pressure on her and told her winning was the only important thing. So Luna developed a personality that was highly geared towards being self-confident, snobby, and a little bit manipulative, since those are the things most likely that have helped her in the past to win.

13) I am actually looking forward to Kizumi coming to a head with her roommate (whose name escapes me atm). But either way, I feel the roomie is not as innocent as she pretends, and I want to see their relationship pushed as the competition gets more heated and they both come to accept they can't both win. 14) I don't think it'll be Kizumi. I feel like though the experience will inspire Kizumi to go on to have a singing career, I think ultimately it'll be someone else who wins. As for who, I'm torn cause I need more backstory. I think it's gonna depend on who reason for singing is simultaneously sad but filled with surprisingly innocent and sincere passion. I feel like the winners who wanted a singing career will get that. But I think a lot more of the girls will discover showbiz sucks and instead pursue other things that fulfill them more. Cause kind of how we see through Ritsu, showbiz looks glamorous from the outside, but is 100% not for everyone and constantly exposes you and make you vulnerable. And I think they'll also learn you don't have to have a professional singing career to sing for fun and spread music around, especially when the internet is all powerful.

Kabocha

It's gonna take me some time to answer questions, but I'm going to answer them out of order! Huzzah! 14. At the end of the day, who do you think will win the current season of Princess Pop? Will it be Kizumi or someone else? What do you think will become of the winners and losers? You know, I'm kind of hoping it's Luna? Ritsu might have the skill, but I think being showbiz is going to destroy her emotionally. Kizumi may make it to finals, but I feel like she might just step back at some point for someone else to win. Seems like her type, especially since she's only going forward with this because her dad suggested it might be a good idea. (Besides, what happened to the REST of Kizumi's life, anyway?)

3. At the moment, who is your favorite character? What about that character earns them this favor? My favorite character... I like Rain, honestly. She's so cheerful, and has such starry eyes... ...Literally, too. She's a cute. A shame it looks like she's going home. I wonder if we'll see her some more? Maybe on the outside, she'll exchange numbers or contact info to talk to Kizumi.

2. What do you think Kizumi’s secret is that she seems to be hiding? Why is she convinced it would change how others saw her? Additionally, how does Ritsu know the secret and why is Ritsu willing to keep it a secret? I kind of wish I knew what her secret is! I feel like the audience drama could be heightened by knowing what Kizumi's deal is, and seeing what the potential fallout for the other girls knowing that is. In any case -- I feel like maybe she and Ritsu met in school, but Rebel's suggestion of her being a model or celebrity in the past makes sense too. Maybe there was a singing competition for school or somesuch, and Kizumi did well there, but Ritsu understands the stress of being popular and saw how it ate Kizumi then, and will probably eat her again. Or maybe the secret's just as simple as "Well, you took goldie's place" and that's it. And everyone kiiiinda knows that, but...

4. Given Yuna originally didn’t do so well at the beginning of her own season, what do you think changed how she sung and eventually caused her to win? How will this play a role in Kizumi’s story? Someone in her life died. ...I dunno. I don't think we have enough information at Yuna to really theorize, tbh. But I mean, clearly Yuna had something happen, and it made her want to change. So she did. It could just be realizing that the prize money coulda been used to help someone? Or having the career woulda been beneficial to meeting her goals? Who knows.

9. What sorts of art or story details have you noticed in the way the comic is crafted that you think deserves attention? THE DRESSES Gawsh, they're cute! Just... hhh. Yuna's dress during her special performance kind of inspired me so maybe something will come of that. Who knows.

Kabocha

7. Which characters do you enjoy seeing interact the most? What about their dynamic interests you? I really like Kat and Lobelia - and I'm curious to see how they play off one another as siblings. Will they do any sort of duet outside of the group? Will they simply go solo? What if one of them wins? How's that gonna affect their relationship?

Honestly, I can't see that going well in some regards, but hopefully they'll find a way to work it out since they're siblings.

Kabocha

6. What do you think Ritsu’s story is given how cynical and serious she is about the world of idols? Do you think her mind can be changed, or will she continue to suffer through everything? I'm inclined to think that Ritsu just has issues with getting panicky in crowds. It might not be anything more complicated than that, and she's just like, "LISTEN, if you don't do well with crowds, this is NOT THE JOB FOR YOU" But I suppose we'll seeeeee~.

Kabocha

12. Given recent events, why do you think Luna is suddenly interested in being Kizumi’s friend? Is it genuine, or does Luna have ulterior motives? What do you think Luna’s backstory is in general? You know, I wonder. Luna seems like the type who might avoid making friends just on principle. In competitions like these, it would be difficult to keep friendships made among contestants, so it's just better to be standoffish. I wonder if she expects Kizumi to be less likely to backstab her if they're friends? It's hard to tell.

mathtans

I thought the topic for the comic looked interesting and I needed a break from doing report cards so I'm going to participate this week. O.o Will peek at questions before other answers.

1. The scene where Kizumi calls her dad stands out to me, I think because it helped to ground everything in a sense of reality. Having parents is a thing. Also amusing that he was a fan of the show.

2. Kizumi is secretly an android. ... Okay, no, but not sure aside from probably relates to her family. Ritsu knows her from way back, so that makes sense, and I think all of them would hold off on saying things they could use for blackmail. O.o

3. I'm leaning towards Rain. I like her mix of seriousness and goofiness. Also, nice entrance ducking down from the bunk above.

4. Yuna may have been like Kizumi in terms of just going along for the heck of it, until she realized she might have a shot - or possibly didn't want to see someone else win. So that could connect.

5. I kind of liked the Halloween costumes, am I allowed to pick that even though it wasn't canon? Though in general I like how the art flows down the page, a bit like how one's eye would when looking at someone singing. And there's some neat extra arts at the end sometimes.

6. Ritsu may have family issues, could also be why she wouldn't out Kizumi for family issues. She may feel like she has to suffer for her art.

7. I rather like the Kizumi/Yuna interactions. Feels like there's always something under the surface there. What with Kizumi feeling like not measuring up and Yuna kind of dancing around straight answers.

8. I feel like the plan of "flying under the radar" works well when there's multiple rivals, as we kind of saw, but that only works for so long. Not sure what else it will get into. I could see some of the more naive characters falling for ruses.

Kabocha

Yuna? Straight answers!? That would involve Kizumi actually asking a direct question, too XD

mathtans

9. I guess I already mentioned the flowing down the page matching the tracking of an eye. I also think that some of the art reuse is well done, not simply as a quick recap to start, but callbacks to people singing, or in the dream sequence... that was clever. And some of the explanation font stuff (like 'applause') doesn't come across as weird or goofy.

Kabocha: Heh. You're not wrong. She only really seems to have opened up to Rain, and then only in part.

Kabocha

Yeah. I kind of wish Kizumi would come out more with what her deal is - it would save her a lot of drama! But on the other hand, this comic does give me a very shoujo-manga sort of feel, and those sorts of misunderstandings are a pretty staple trope in the genre :3 So it's not a bad thing, it'd just be interesting to see where it went, yanno?

mathtans

10. I don't recall the Nagato thread, I've been reading very sporadically over the past week.

11. Well, the topic seems to have drawn me in. And it seems to have a good sense of which characters to bring to the forefront out of what is theoretically an oversized cast. I'm not great at this sort of analysis. O.o

12. Oh, Luna definitely has ulterior motives, but I think for the moment the offer is genuine in that she sees Kizumi as being someone who would hold her own. And better to be friends with that sort of person than on their bad side. The ulterior motive being a belief that she could win if it came down to the two of them. Something like that - Luna seems to be a strategist too.

13. It'll be interesting to see how the field gets narrowed, as it is the writer managed to cut the field in fifths with one contest. Pity about Rain, I'm wondering how she's going to handle things. Also some of those helpers/employees in the background got full bios, I'm wondering when and how they'll pop up again.

Kabocha: Also good points there too. And yeah, though I like that there's not so much misunderstandings at this point as much as secrets.

14. Goldie will win, in the most bizarre twist ever. Seriously though, uhhh? Maybe it'll be a tie. That'd be a twist too.(edited)

Kabocha

That's fair Math~ And oh god, if Goldie came back.. That would be really interesting

The final showdown is between Kizumi and Goldie! That could be amazing.

carcarchu

Ahahaha very interesting analysis's guys~ it's very difficult to sow all these seeds and then have to wait so long to be able to pay them off, i hope it will all be worth it in the end!

Kabocha

It'll definitely be interesting to see as it goes on!

I have to admit, that starry dress that Yuna wore was sorta inspiring in a weird way. It's sparked the urge to make some new brushes, too so we'll see what comes out of that. XD

mathtans

Been reading through the other comments. Interesting idea about Ritsu having been burned in the past, I can see it. (It's interesting how she was set up as a rival and then Luna became an additional wild card.) I didn't mention Marina, and that's an oversight because she was a fun character.

mathtans

Also, how could I NOT end by doing ships? With so many wonderful female characters? I mean, there's the obvious Kizumi-Rain, but I'm not sure I see that going beyond friendship. Kizumi-Yuna has potential. Ritsu seems like a bit too much of a lone wolf... whereas Reeni could pair with any of them, she's precious. Luna-Yuna I like for the name alone. (Lyuna?) But part of me likes Luna-Kat, having secret romantic walks in the morning.

redbeanbunny

13. I'm excited to learn more about Ritsu and Luna, and I hope some healing from Ritsu. They say that ppl are most critical of the flaws they have in themself, and for now she's still lashing out at Kizumi. Also to get to know the other contestants. I have no idea who the cannon fodder is right now and who will actually stay and make it to the end. For all I know Luna could get booted in the next round (noooo...). I think there are so many ways things could potentially go. And not to be shallow but more outfits for the gals, please!! Excited to see how things roll from here on out ^^ 14. We haven't met everyone yet, have we? So there's still others to consider. And I think that the other bickering characters haven't revealed their full potential yet. We don't even know the interns that well yet and what they have to put in. I mean there has to be a reason they have names I assume others will be getting their time to shine, so to speak. I just have this feeling the winner won't be Kizumi or Ritsu,,, but eh that's my gut. Who will win is one thing, I wonder who will actually continue their singing career. Maybe someone will get an image change (Ritsu? maybe she'll switch to a different style in the future). (Also Kizumi and Luna duet please at some point!). I think the real wildcard has yet to show up, kind of like how Yuna suddenly changed in the middle of the competition. This is one of the reasons why I'm so confused about what she sees in Kizumi (besides the whole Nagato thing and Kizumi possibly being his protegee). Could be Rain even. You know, like those shows that bring back the old contestants to raise the tension(edited)

Kabocha

13. What are you most looking forward to in the comic? Also, do you have any final thoughts to share overall?

I'm looking forward to getting ANSWERS! What is your deal, Luna? As far as final thoughts, I look forward to see how this goes forward. I'm glad I read this week's comic, honestly :3

FeatheryJustice

I didn't have time to finish reading but I have to say I like the concept at least

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- WEEK LONG BOOK CLUB END!

Thank you everyone so much for reading and chatting about Princess Pop this week! Please also give a special thank you to carcarchu for volunteering the comic and creating it! If you liked Princess Pop, make sure to continue to support it via some of the links below!

Read and Comment: https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/princess-pop/list?title_no=173793

carcarchu’s Twitter: https://twitter.com/kurumadraws

[rantingnbanting]

It’s finally time

Spider-Man: Far From Home Movie Review

Hee hee i had a shit ton of this done already and then my dumbass accidentally closed the tab so yeah :’)

For some reason, this took me so long to want to write. I saw the movie this afternoon, and it’s almost midnight as I’m writing this. Granted, I am on vacation and was a little busy, but I just needed time to process this movie. The movie seemed really dense to me, and I just had to scroll through tumblr looking at other posts to finally get the nerve to write this.

So, the moment you’ve all been waiting for...

***SPOILER WARNING. MAJOR PLOT POINTS AND THE ENDING OF THIS WILL BE DISCUSSED SO IF YOU DO NOT WANT SPOILERS DO NOT CONTINUE***

Just as an FYI, I saw this with my sister, a fan of the MCU, and my dad, a diehard DC fan but just saw this for shits and giggles. And I will be referencing endgame a lot during this too.

- Did I like it?

Yeah!!!! I loved the humor in it, and the plot was well written. Mysterio is an awesome character in this, though he is a villain.

- What didn’t I like?

(I’ll go into more detail later) The cgi in this, the lack of some of the topics introduced in endgame, the casts’ age, and some of the Peter X MJ scenes (I said some! I do love Peter and MJ together!)

- Pacing?

Honestly? Pretty good for a marvel movie. Marvel usually has some issues with pacing *cough cough endgame cough cough*, but I was thoroughly impressed with this one. Everything seemed well drawn out, and I was never left feeling that a certain scene was too long/short. Kudos because that I am very picky with pacing lol

- Humor

This movie is probably one the funniest movies in the MCU, and it was one of the most memorable aspects of the movie. The morning announcements made my sister and myself wheeze and I had tears rolling down my face as I cackled. Ned and Betty were the truest presentation of Highschool romance I have ever seen. Starting on a whim, being attached to the hip for a few weeks (maybe even a few months), and then breaking up. I honestly loved them together. I’m happy they didn’t go down the “sad and neglected best friend” route with Ned because he deserves so much better. “I’m strong and sticky” made my stomach hurt because I was laughing so hard. PETER BITCH-SLAPPING FLASH WHEN HE WOULDNT GIVE BACK THE GLASSES. AHDHDBDJDHDJ

- plot?

I thought the plot was really clever. Like I said earlier, anyone could see mysterio’s real side from a mile away, but the way they went about the conflict and the climax of the story was very interesting as well. The only thing is that when they were first explaining the secret plan and thinking everyone, I got a little lost. I did finally realize how the bots produce an illusion, but I kind of had to figure that on my own. I was confused how things were being broken and destroyed by the creatures, but the team said that nothing was actually getting broken because it’s all just an illusion. Idk there were some plot holes, but they got mostly filled, so I’m not worried about it lmao.

- Favorite character?

While I do love Ned with every fiber of my being, he just didn’t have the same spark that he did in homecoming. Maybe that’ll change as I see the movie again, but my favorite character in this movie was definitely Mysterio. Jake Gyllenhaal is a phenomenal actor, and I don’t think anyone could have pulled off Mysterio like he did. As I assume most of the internet knows, Mysterio is an actual villain in the Spider-Man comics, and he has powers that create illusions, and I thought that this was a really cool way to portray Mysterio with making him a person. Even without knowing that Mysterio is a villain in the comics, it wasn’t that difficult to predict that he would reveal that he’s a villain. Thinking back, there was a part during the the fight with the fire monster in Prague when something broke off of the Ferris wheel, and I thought to myself “damn, it was almost like the Ferris wasn’t really there” And the illusion scene was by far the coolest scene in the entire movie. It gave me strong Doctor Strange vibes (I wonder why I like I so much lmao) and it showed how vulnerable Peter is. But Mysterio has the aura that just made you love to hate him, and I love characters like that.

- Soundtrack?

It was awesome. Mysterio’s theme is definitely the best. I actually listened to the soundtrack before I saw the movie, and it was cool to hear some of the familiar tunes. It would fucking awesome to hear an ensemble perform the Far From home suite live.

- Peter and MJ

Okay, I understand what they were trying to do with their relationship: display a typical, awkward high school relationship. Ngl, they kind of overdid the awkwardness. Not every relationship is both people constantly stuttering and muttering when they’re next to each other. And that fuckin kiss. It made me so uncomfortable. Me and my sister literally looked at each other and said, “That was the most awkward thing I have ever seen in my entire life” after the kiss. I like that the writers were trying to break from the stereotypical high school relationship, but I do think they overdid the awkwardness a bit.

- WHERE THE HELL WAS MORGAN STARK

HOW DARE YOU RIP A FATHER FROM A BOY AND GIRL AND NOT HAVE THEM INTERACT AT ALL. This is probably one of my biggest critiques because this movie makes it look like they introduced Morgan just to take her away. Same with Harley! Imagine how awesome peter and Harley could be together.

- CGI

Okay, I blame my dad for this. He was the one who introduced me to CGI (Computer-generated imagery) and how to spot it. In marvel movies, CGI is not uncommon, especially in the fight scenes. And I honestly did not give endgame enough credit when it came to CGI hulk. He looked absolutely phenomenal, but I have to say that a good amount of the CGI in this movie was rough. I always say, if you can tell it’s CGI, then it’s bad CGI. It’s really hard to explain, but if something looks like it belongs in a video game rather than in a live action movie, then the CGI is pretty rough. It takes experience to learn how to point it out. Mysterio didn’t look bad the entire time, but some shots of him floating (like the rooftop scene) just looked so fake. And the swinging scene at the end was absolutely horrendous. It looked like MJ was swinging with the peter from the ps4 videogame. The background imagery and the elemental monsters looked real for the most part, and they looked great and real. Just some character mods were really wonky.

- Cast

Okay, I’m going to just say it. What the fuck was that cast? To me, everyone looked so much older than the first one. Like I get it that some of them were “blipped” and aged, but holy shit Ned and peter looked so much older than in the first movie. And, holy shit, Peter is ripped in this movie. I know Tom mentioned in an interview that he was more buff in this movie compared to homecoming, but he was so much more, for lack of better phrasing, wide.

I mean, come on

If the next movie is set in high school again, I honestly have no idea what they will do because, right now, Tom is 23 and Zendaya is 22. And yes I get it that it’s not that old, but if the next one is going to wait 2 years at least for the next Spider-Man movie, they’ll be less like high school students and more like adults.

And while I would have been extremely pissed if they changed the cast, I’m just kind of peeved on how mature the cast looked.

- Ending?

The first ending was what everyone wanted. I could have left the theater then and would have been perfectly fine. But I had to watch the end credits scenes. And then my world crumpled. Hearing Mysterio reveal Peter was so surreal. Almost too surreal... but that’s for another post ;). It provides for a great cliffhanger, but it makes me wonder how they’re going to continue the MCU from here. Obviously, they’re going to do the Black Widow Movie and Guardians of the Galaxy Volume 3 (hopefully) but what next? Is there going to be another “avengers” movie? If so, what about Peter? Bc he’s in quite the pickle rn. And the pair credits scene just confused me ngl. So, Fury and Hill were never actually there? It does make sense why fury didn’t catch onto some things, but it does allow for some interesting conversations. This plus BARF equals who knows what for the future because this stuff is practically the reality stone. No one knows what’s real or not. And that’s scary. Also, does the multiverse exist? I know Beck and his crew made some stuff up for the purpose of tricking Fury and Peter, but the avengers still used the quantum realm to time travel, and who knows what types of alternate universes that created.

What does the future hold? No one knows

But it does allow for interesting theories ;)

Side note: I really noticed the resemblance in these in ffh

Hey marvel please introduce Deadpool played by Ryan Reynolds into the MCU thansk ily

[eldritchsurveys]

198.

Have you ever watched The Golden Girls?: >> I love that show. I’m wearing a Golden Girls shirt at this very moment, in fact (it was a Christmas gift, lol... I wouldn’t have bought it but since I have it... guess I’ll wear it).

Did you ever like the Ninja Turtles?: >> No.

How often do you drink water?: >> Daily.

Last alcoholic drink you had?: >> The rest of my pink moscato.

When’s the last time you were at a hotel?: >> The Traverse City trip, I think. So, like 4 years ago.

Do you like Easy Cheese?: >> Not even a little bit.

How are you feeling right now?: >> Neutral.

Name a movie with Freddie Prince Jr.:: >> That one Scooby-Doo movie.

Ever been in a meaningless relationship?: >> No. They all meant something at the time, but meaning doesn’t say a whole lot if the relationship is built on shitty foundation.

What kind of soap do you use?: >> Yardley brand.

Who would you kiss right now, if you could kiss anyone?: >> Hm.

Do you get cravings to smoke?: >> No.

What color is your couch?: >> It’s a horrendous floral pattern.

Do you like tape?: >> I... am ambivalent.

Are you afraid of the dark or were you ever?: >> I’ve never been afraid of the dark, per se.

When’s the last time you went outside?: >> Ha, too long ago, I guess. I just can’t be bothered.

Do you have trust issues?: >> Mild ones.

What’s your favorite food?: >> ---

Does anything on your body hurt right now?: >> Nope.

What’s your favorite place to go when sad?: >> Inworld.

Know anyone on birth control?: >> Yes.

Can you play any instruments? >> Nope.

Would you go swimming right now if you could?: >> 1. I can’t swim; 2. it’s 20 degrees outside.

How long was your longest relationship?: >> *shrugs irritably*

Are you tired?: >> Nah.

What are you looking forward to in the next 3 months?: >> Phantom of the Opera and New Orleans.

What are you known for?: >> I don’t know.

What town do you live in? >> Grand Rapids.

Have you ever had a serious accident?: >> Nope.

Do you want to get married?: >> I’m ambivalent, but it’s happening, so you know.

Has anyone ever threatened you?: >> Plenty of times.

When’s the last time you burned a candle?: >> I don’t remember. I usually burn incense.

What’s your dream job?: >> ---

Could you take a nap right now?: >> No, I just got out of bed like an hour and a half ago.

Where’s the closest stapler?: >> I don’t think we own one.

Have you ever watched the t.v. show Friends?: >> Yeah, but I never was interested in it.

Have you ever gone frog hunting?: >> No.

Who’s the last person to seriously hurt you?: >> Hm.

Do you ever suffer from dry skin?: >> Oh yeah, especially in the winter.

Do you still sleep with a stuffed animal?: >> I sleep with two (and Sparrow sleeps with one).

Do you like getting dirty?: >> Not at all.

When’s the last time you were embarrassed?: >> I have no idea.

Are you a very flirty person?: >> No.

What’s the closest electronic thing? >> Besides the laptop I’m typing on, my phone, which is next to me.

Would you rather have a boy baby or a girl baby?: >> No.

How’re your grades?: >> ---

Have you ever been scammed?: >> Probably.

Do you like dogs or cats more?: >> Dogs.

Did you like the movie Four Christmases?: >> I’ve never heard of it, let alone seen it.

What’s the weather like right this moment?: >> Overcast and cold. My least favourite kind of weather.

Have you ever been to Duluth, Minnesota?: >> No.

Who was your favorite babysitter?: >> I didn’t have babysitters.

Are you supersticious?: >> Nope.

Have you ever cried wolf?: >> I... maybe?

When’s the last time you ran 1 mile?: >> Ha! Probably in high school, when we had to in order not to literally flunk.

Do you like crowds?: >> Nope.

How often do you brush your teeth?: >> Once a day.

Do you swear?: >> Sure do.

Are you gullible?: >> I can be on occasion, but I’ve cultivated a pretty healthy sense of skepticism, I think. I just mostly don’t care if I’m being lied to, because a lot of the possible lies I hear don’t affect me all that much.