#I’m high as a fucking kite dude

[looney-tact]

I wish they let viktor run around with a gun even though he “didnt have powers” as a kid. Like pump em full of xanax or not, you give that kid a .32 and shits gettin real. “Sure allison you can do mind control, I’m controlling the way his mind splatters that fucking wall.” DIRECT QUOTE FROM BABY VIKTOR

[jarofstyles]

Haze

Hi bestie babes, here is a best-friends-to-best-friends-with-benefits piece! I am unsure if I'm doing a second part but if I did it'll be later on down the line.

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WC- 8k

warnings- use of marijuana, friends with benefits, biting, daddy kink, soft Dom H hehe

“H? Do you really think I’m pretty?” Y/N’s voice was slightly slurred, a mix of both tired and high as a kite from the joint they’d finished just a bit ago. The cool air flowed in from the window they’d cracked in order for her landlord not to get a call to complain, but she welcomed the chill. She always got a bit hot in her skin when the high hit her. “Don’t lie to me. Give it to me straight.

She loved smoking, sure, but she hated how it made her mind think about things she had purposely been putting off. Like her awful fucking dating life and how stupidly lonely she was.

Harry sat next to her on the sofa, his legs spread in an obnoxious manspread, his fingers messing with the Rubik’s cube. It wasn’t uncommon for them to smoke together- he was her best friend- but she wanted his opinion. The poor man was going to be subject to her insecurity.

Her string of bad dating experiences lately had made it hard to believe it wasn’t a her problem.

"Pretty? Babe, you're beautiful. Come off it." he mumbled, eyes still on the puzzle game. He was in that fluid mindset, neither here nor there. His reassurance felt nice but at the same time, a little vague. Her face contorted in a frown as she looked over at him. He was still baked, so she got it, but still. A little more would be nice.

“You have to say that. You’re my best friend. Tell me honestly, H. What is.. what is wrong with me? Because I don’t know how someone can go on so many bad dates and it not be a them problem.” It had been plaguing her the whole time and harshing the high. The words needed to come out. “I’m the common denominator.”

Finally, he put the Rubik's cube down and turned to face her fully, his gaze locked on hers. Sure, he was dazed from the weed, but he wanted to be sincere with her once he had heard how she had actually been a bit torn up from it. As hard as she tried, it wasn’t easy for her to hide her emotions from him. Even high Harry could see past the playful quips she had made lately. It had only been a matter of time before she had asked him about it and in his opinion, it was bullshit. There was nothing wrong with her at all. Y/N was amazing, but it was only natural to become a little insecure when someone had the string of bad luck like she had.

"Y/N, there's absolutely nothing wrong with you. I'm being completely honest with you, I swear. It's not you, it's them.” He winced knowing how cheesy it sounded but it couldn’t really be helped at the moment. “You're a fuckin’ amazing, smart, beautiful, funny, talented, kind person... I could list off all your good qualities cause there’s loads of ‘em, but m’high and can't think straight enough right now t’give you the fancier words like… exuberant? Pretty sure that one’s right ."

Y/N let out a little laugh. She could hear it in the low tone of his voice and how it seemed to take him longer than normal to say things when he was stoned and trying his absolute hardest to get that out, but it was a little cute. Too bad it wasn’t enough to get her out of her wallowing.

“Then I’m doomed.” She groaned, sinking into the couch. Her hands came up to cover her face, a tired sound leaving her as she tried to reset. “Dude, do you know how entirely and overwhelmingly exhausting it is? And don’t you dare call me dramatic.” Her eye peeped up at him before she fell back into a huff. “I know you get sex on tap but for the rest of us normal folks, it’s like a war zone out there.”

Harry snickefed at her little quip as he watched her sink into the couch. Letting out a sigh as he really thought about it though, a flicker of understanding crossing his face. "I understand how you feel, trust me. It's not easy for anyone. Although I have to admit, I can't exactly relate to your dating struggles, not really. I just happen to be lucky enough to have a very dedicated fanbase."

He was joking but… not really. He always teased her about this. The women who tended to hang out around the garage or try to get near him after hours to ride him in the cars that he just fixed… It wasn't hard for him to get what he wanted. Being good looking, tattooed, solid and single, it got you a lot of places, and a lot of ass. If only she could relate.

“Yeah, yeah. Slut.” She grumbled lightheartedly, kicking her foot against his thigh. It wasn’t fair it was as toned as it was. “You’re a mechanic and you’ve got all the rich soccer moms throwing themselves at you for a romp in the backseat while their husbands are at work. That’s nice and all, but the dating pool for us commoners is abysmal at best.”

Shooting him a glare, she grabbed the bag of goldfish shaped crackers and popped some into her mouth. “At this point I’d be fine with a friends-with-benefits sorta thing- but god damn it, I just want someone to love me at some point.” There was a moment of silence before she cleared her throat. They didn’t really discuss their sex lives and stuff often so she took his silence as one of not knowing what to say- which was fair. She was sorta dumping this all on him. In the grand scheme of things it wasn’t that insane. Everyone went through shit like this. “Sorry. I don’t mean to actually be dramatic this time.”

Harry shook his head at her remark, giving her a reassuring smile that had his eyes crinkling at the corners. He locked his gaze on her face as he listened to her speak, his expression softening with understanding instead of the smug joking he was giving off before. "Hey, s’alright babe. You're not being dramatic. It's how you feel, and I understand that. Everyone deserves love, and I have no doubt you'll find it."

He paused for a moment, considering his next words carefully. When he spoke again, his voice low and sincere as he knocked his hand against her thigh to get her to look at him.

"Y/N... can I ask you somethin’? And don’t make it weird.” He warned, making her unsure what the hell he could be asking.

Brushing the hair out of her eyes, she turned to look back at him with a questioning look on her face. “Sure. What’s up?”

Harry seemed to hesitate for a moment, unsure whether he should ask or not. It would most definitely change their dynamic if she was offended or freaked out by it, but regardless he felt like it it was something he knew he had to ask. He shifted on the couch, turning to face her fully, taking a deep breath and letting his gaze lock on hers before speaking.

"Y’know how you were saying how you're open to a friends with benefits thing? And how you're tired of being alone?"

“Yeah…. I literally said it like, two second ago.” She replied, voice slow and drawn out. She knew she was foggy, but damn. Of course she didn’t want to draw conclusions but she had to wonder why he would be bringing that up again. Her heart beat a little harder as she narrowed her eyes at him. “Why?”

His gaze remained steady on hers, his expression unreadable. He took a moment before speaking again, his voice low and slightly hoarse. Of course he wanted to be careful with his words, in the off chance this could offend her but he knew that he’d kick himself for not asking if he avoided it. He took a deep breath before asking the question.

"I was wondering... if you'd be interested in having an arrangement like that... with me."

Blinking rapidly, she had to be sure she wasn’t just hearing things. Usually she wasn’t the type to have hallucinations when high, but she didn’t know if he would ever actually suggest that. “Uh.. can you repeat that?”

Harry smiled softly as he saw her surprise. He knew it was a big ask, but he was committed to the idea now.

Leaning forward, his voice was smooth and deliberate as he repeated his question, this time with more confidence considering she hadn’t completely looked disgusted at the idea.

"I was asking if you'd be interested in having a friend's with benefits arrangement with me. No strings attached, just a... way to fulfill certain needs without the commitment. What would you say to something like that?"

“Yeah, that’s what I thought you said.” The nod was casual, as if that hadn’t just completely freaked her out. Not in a bad way! But in a…. What-the-fuck-my-best-friend-just-asked-me to-casually-hook-up-on-the-regular, sort of way.

“Uh… I’m not saying no, but I have to ask why you’d suggest that? I didn’t think you were attracted to me in the slightest.” It had completely come out of left field. The intent behind complaining wasn’t for him to offer but to get genuine advice from him considering he never seemed to struggle in the dating department.

"Who the hell said I wasn't attracted to you? I’ve always thought you were stunning.” It wasn’t supposed to come off defensively but he had to wonder in the moment if maybe it did. Harry had never once thought of her as anything but mind blowingly gorgeous.

“Okay, but you have to say that. You’re my best friend, like I said before. I just….” Hesitance grew on her face, looking over his own for any sign of joking. If he was, her ego really couldn’t handle another blow. “I really don’t want to be a pity fuck. And I also don’t want to like… no offense to you, I don’t want to sleep with someone who isn’t exclusive with me? Not like in the dating sense but like, I’d ask you not to sleep with anyone else for safety and I don’t know how you’d feel about that.” Maybe she was rambling but thoughts were running rampant in her already overcrowded brain. Asking him not to fuck anyone else felt like an overstep for some reason.

As she spoke, Harry nodded along, listening intently. He understood her hesitation and appreciated the honesty; it was one of the things he had always loved about her- But he certainly didn't want her to feel like a “pity-fuck” either. That was the furthest thing she could be. He could respect her wanting a certain degree of exclusivity, especially for safety. He knew he was a bit of a whore and he wasn’t ashamed of it, but he had full ability and sometimes the wish to be monogamous- more than he expressed. Granted, if it were anyone else he’d probably feel a little suffocated in an ask like that but… It didn’t sound so bad when it came to Y/N.

"I get it," he said, nodding in agreement. Reaching out and placing a hand on her knee, his touch warm and gentle, he tried his best to reassure her. "I wouldn't suggest it if I didn't find you attractive, Y/N. It's not about pity, it's about wanting a connection with someone I know and trust. And it’s not like it isn’t a convenience for me, too. No awkward leaving afterward, no like… ‘here I’ll get you a cab’ or saying no to a sleepover. We’ve slept in the same bed loads of times and you know I love a cuddle..”

Sharpening her gaze on him, she tilted her head. “Is this because you wanna do some crazy kinky stuff? Cause I’m open but I dunno how crazy I’ll get.” She was kind of kidding…. But kinda not. There were her own things she wanted to explore, but she didn’t want to be a lab rat.

Harry's eyebrows raised at her question, slightly taken aback. He couldn't help but laugh lightly at her tone, but there was also a hint of genuine interest in his reply.

"You really think I'm into kink, huh? Some sort of freak in the sheets?” Wiggling his brows, he teased her. It wasn’t as if it wasn’t obvious that he was a bit of a frequent fucker, but he didn’t have much shame in that. It wasn’t a kiss and tell sort of situation, but he wasn’t shy about letting her know he’d had a lovely night the day prior when need be. “Well, maybe. But no, that's not the only reason..." He let out a breath, a smirk on his lips. "But I'd loveeee to find out what you'd be open to, if we did this."

“Nope, you first, casanova.” She bounced in her seat, getting closer. Her nosy tendencies took precedence over everything else, it appeared. Getting to know more about him that was was enticing and she couldn’t hold herself back. “What's the crazy stuff you’re into? C’mon, we never talk about this stuff.”

Harry was open about the fact he had a healthy supply of offers and hookups but she had stopped him a few times from giving details. Mostly for her sake, so she didn’t see him as some sort of deviant- even if he was. Now, though, knowing she was potentially someone who could experience said things? Her curiosity was killing the cat. Her cat. Metaphorically speaking.

The man’s lips curled into a small smile as he saw her eager expression. He leaned back on the sofa, his arm stretched out behind her. He was throughly enjoying her nosiness- maybe for the first time- considering it gave him the perfect opportunity to tease her a bit more. "Oh, where do I even start... I have quite a few kinks, darling. But I have a feeling you'd like to hear about a certain one..."

“Okay… so tell me.” She rolled her hand to motion to him to continue. Patience really wasn’t Y/N’s strong suit and it was beginning to show, even if the smoking had initially relaxed her. “Let’s hear it. I want to know what I’d be getting myself into, besides greasy hands and the smell of motor oil.” Though she’d never admit how she’d learned to enjoy it, too.

He couldn’t lie and say he wasn't enjoying how intently she was looking at him, how her gaze was fixed on his every move. He leaned forward just a bit, his voice dropping lower as he continued* "Alright, y’wanted to know, you'll get to know like the princess y’are. But keep in mind, I've got a few of these, not just one." The taunting made her give him that impatient look he was used to, snickering under his breath as she bore her eyes into him.

“Okay. Lay them on me, tell me!” She huffed, knocking his knee. “You’re edging for no reason. I already know that one because you’re gross. Tell me the real stuff.”

Raising a brow at her eagerness, he leaned back again with his arm still draped behind her. He began speaking again, letting his voice drop a bit. "Alright, just a little tiny taste then… See if you can handle it. I've got a thing for power dynamics, darling. Particularly, I like to be in control."

“Mm… I could have guessed that. You’ve got the whole smolder thing, and you do the…” Y/N put her hand behind his neck before pulling it off. “Then you do the neck holding thing when we go out. You like to control where people go. Boss me around. So I had a clue. Give me one I wouldn’t expect.”

The perceptive observations hadn’t been something he expected, but it did amuse him. He reached up to brush a strand of her hair away from her face, his fingers lingering against her skin.

"You know me too well, little dove." He muttered, his eyes sparkling with mischief. This was a conversation he was enjoying. Not one he anticipated tonight, no, but one that had him on the edge of his metaphorical seat. His real seat was leaned against the back of the couch. "Okay then... how about this? I also enjoy a bit of exhibitionism. Kinky enough for you?"

“Oh?” She sat with it for a moment. “Actually… that makes sense too. You’re understated in public but you still get a lot of attention. Behind the scenes you’re an attention whore and stuff, which I know first hand but… yeah.” She huffed. “Damn. Can’t believe I didn’t guess that sorta stuff.” Another question popped into her mind. “Wait… what have you done with that? Are you talking like. Dressing rooms, cars? Or in front of people for real?”

Harry grinned as she continued to analyze his kinks, watching her as she went through it in her head. Had she thought about it before on her own? That wasn’t something he’d mind, in all honest. He chortled at her question and leaned back, his arm wrapped behind her. He didn't want to reveal too much but he was enjoying this back and forth. Maybe a tad bit more than he should be.

"You've got good instincts, darling. Yes, I enjoy exhibitionism. And yeah, both dressing rooms and cars are on the list. But not just that... I like a bit more of an audience sometimes. But that’s a different conversation. I can explain why I like it, though. Since you seem to be so curious.”

“Do tell.” Yes, maybe she was a little nosy but… it was slightly arousing. Harry was interesting to her before but now, with the idea of her being in those scenarios, she felt an elevated desperation to know.

Harry noticed how her eyes darkened with excitement as she listened to him and it made a feeling of satisfaction twist in his gut. Having an effect on her was something he hadn’t realized he’d enjoy so much, but now that he had a taste he wanted to see more of it. He shifted a bit closer, his voice dropping into a low whisper. "I like the thrill of being caught. The danger of it, y’know? I love that it’s risky, that your adrenaline pump and you’ve got t’be quiet. Or you don’t, and you have people see- when it’s appropriate.” That was something he’d experienced a few times. “I’ve had it happen before. Maybe I could arrange that, if that’s something you’d want. People watching, not touching, just watching me touch you... and I’d touch you plenty, darling."

“I think um, I’d like it” It was hard to talk with how her tongue felt tied. “I’ve not done a lot of it but I think I’d be open to seeing and doing more of it.” Her voice weakened, feeling him close to her. His cologne was warm and slightly spiced, his fingertips brushing her arm. Y/N had never experienced the sort of thing he was describing. The most she had done was fuck in a car. “Y-Yeah. I think that’s something we could um… try.” She cleared her throat, trying not to show how affected she actually was. It was hard not to. “What other kinks? Anything I wouldn’t guess?”

Harry saw right through her attempts to seem unbothered and he grinned, his hand continuing to lightly brush against her shoulder. He was enjoying the effect he had on her, the more the minutes passed by. It was a brand new side of her that he hadn’t been privy too prior, but now that he had a chance to? He was going to indulge.

"Glad you're up for trying it, darling. And as for other kinks..." He paused for a moment, his gaze trailing over her body before he spoke again in a deeper voice.

"I'm also into a bit of rope bondage, but that’s for another day too. The typical things you’d expect in kink too, the rougher stuff sometimes, but I really like working you up until you can’t take it anymore. Making you desperate, y’know?"

“Ropes?” She swallowed the shock. “Oh. Hm…” it made sense given the other things but for some reason she hadn’t expected him to be into actual ropes. “I’d have thought maybe more handcuffs but you do like being difficult, don’t you?”

It was a joke but it slightly intimidated her. Nothing she wouldn’t try, though. She trusted him to do that sort of thing with her, if they got to it.

Harry hummed at her surprise and leaned a little closer, his hand coming up to her chin to tilt her face towards him. His eyes locked with hers, his tone serious. It was hard to ignore how beautiful she was now that he was allowed to think that way. It was something he’d tried to limit his brain from indulging in before, but knowing he’d have all the rights to be the one to stare and touch her, he felt like a layer had been peeled back.

"Yeah, darling, I like being difficult. And I like being in control. But we'll take it slow, alright?" He saw the hint of intimidation on her face and the small act of rebellion he liked to see in her. He ran his thumb over her bottom lip, her skin hot and soft under his touch. “Nothin’ you don’t want t’do. I’ll make sure you're comfortable. Even if you’re a miserable little brat sometimes.”

“I…” her train of thought was stalled by the tender touch. Harry was… he was being a lot more liberal with his touches. Sometimes he was when he was high in general but this itself had her feeling hot under her skin. There was that intention now that this was slightly more than what friends do. “I can’t lie and say I’m not slightly intimidated by the thought of us doing stuff together. You’ve done a lot more than me.” She admitted meekly.

Harry simpered as he heard her confession and gently tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. He appreciated her honesty, understanding her intimidation. It would be the same for him in her position, but luckily he was going to use his advantage for good. "I know I've done more than you, but that's not a good nor a bad thing. Everyone is experienced in their own way, darling. And that's the point of us doing this... to explore each other, to learn what the other likes." He ran his hand down her arm, his fingers lightly tracing her skin, sending chills across her body.

His fingers curled around her wrist, lightly pulling her up and leading her to straddle his lap. This wasn’t at all where she had expected this night to go but… she couldn’t complain. With her nerves aside, Harry was by far one of the most attractive people she had ever met. There was no way she could turn away the opportunity to feel the way he touched someone romantically.

“You’re really okay not sleeping with anyone else in order to do stuff with me?”

Harry gazed up at her as she straddled his lap, his hands sliding up her thighs, pulling her closer against him. He looked up at her with a mix of desire and affection, appreciating her concern for his boundaries. "I'm absolutely fine with it," he assured her, his voice a low rumble. "I don't want anyone else." His hand came up, gently cupping her jaw. "I want to make you feel good, Y/N. I want to give you all the pleasure you deserve, and I want to be the only one doing it."

Y/N let out a weak sound as his lips pressed against the corner of her mouth. Having him so close was making her feel lightheaded, placing her hands on his shoulders as he tugged her closer to him, chest to chest.

“What do you want to do tonight?” She mumbled, eyes dropping to his lips back up to his eyes. “We don’t have to do like, everything and stuff but… I dunno.” The weed definitely made her aroused.

Harry chuckled softly, his lips just barely grazing the corner of her mouth, teasing her again. Feeling her body against his, her hands on his shoulders, it sent a wave of heat through his body. He doubted she knew that he’d started getting aroused when she started talking about what he’d be into.

"You're cute when you're bashful, darling. And high." He teased, his lips curving into a smirk as he spoke against her skin. "As for what I want to do... I just want to enjoy this moment. Maybe smoke a bit more, later. But mostly I just want to touch you."

“O-okay. You can touch me however you want.” Giving him that opening was bold, but she also knew she needed to just let him take charge. He said he liked to dom, so he would take care of her. Her eyes fluttered closed as she felt soft presses of his lips over her cheek, down to her jaw.

“You smell really good.”

Harry could feel himself holding back the pleased noise. The little compliment was a welcomed one, but he didn’t get them often from her. It was a new part of their dynamic but he couldn’t find himself upset with it. In fact, he was going to do everything he could to get some more out of her. He glanced at her, enjoying the way her eyes closed in response to his touch. Running his nose down the column of her neck, he took a little inhale of her scent. Sugary Sweet. Just like her.

"So do you, darling." He spoke against her skin.

In a test of how she’d react, he let his hands slid under her shirt, his fingers tracing along her bare skin. There was no stiffening, so he continued slowly moving closer to the hem of her bra. His lips continued their path down, leaving behind a trail of tingling sensations and wet marks on her skin.

The shaky exhale was louder than she had wanted, his hot fingertips burning a trail over her skin. He took the permission to heart, tracing the bottom of her bra as his lips moved down her collarbone.

Her breathing hitched as she felt his teeth sink into the skin lightly, a firm sucking making her fingers grip his shoulders tightly and nails dig into him just a bit. “Oh, shit… why does that feel good?”

Harry giggled against her skin as he felt her nails digging into his shoulders, enjoying the fact he was already getting a reaction out of her. He continued to kiss and bite her skin, occasionally sucking on the sensitive parts, marking his territory and drawing out more sounds from her.

"Cause I know what I'm doing, darling." He murmured against her skin before biting her collarbone again, this time a bit rougher.

“Oh my god.” She keened, head falling back as her hand came up to cup the back of his head. Fingers curled in his hair, feeling his mouth mark her up while his hand went under her bra, cupping her in his palms. “Fuck.”

Y/N felt the pulsing between her slick thighs, her sleep shorts riding up as she shuffled closer and pressed his mouth harder against her skin. It had been a while since she’d gotten laid but it was a little embarrassing how quickly he managed to get her to feel completely insane.

The sounds of her keening and breathing and the feeling of her arching into his touch was making his own need for her grow. His lips continued to work her her skin, marking and kissing and doing all the things he wanted because it felt like heaven to have this on tap. He could only imagine how much better their smoking sessions would be, how much more fun sleepovers would be if he got to love her up like this without a second thought.

“H…” she whimpered. Rocking her hips slightly, she rubbed against his bulge she could feel clearly between her thighs. “You’re h-hard already?”

Harry hummed quietly, feeling a thrill as she rubbed against him. His lips curled into a smirk against her skin before he lifted his head up, looking at her with darkened eyes. "Yeah, 'course I am, darling. You have no idea what you do to me, do you?"

Moving his hands back down to her hips, he gripped them tightly to grind himself against her. Give her a taste of just how hard his cock got for her. There was no reason for her to doubt. “You did this, sweet girl. S’all your fault.”

“Oh, shit.” She groaned, giggling at the end as she felt his mouth fall onto her chest. Wet, sloppy kisses were placed on the tender skin as she felt him guide her back and forth, setting a pace for the friction. “I can’t tell if it’s been a long time or if uh… if you’re just really good at this.”

Both. It was absolutely both.

Harry chuckled against her chest, his breath hot against her skin before his smirk widened.

"Mm, I would like to think it's because I'm really good at this," his hands guided her hips, setting a slow, torturous pace. "But maybe also a bit of both. It's been a while, hasn't it?"

“Uh-huh.” She nodded. “9 months.”

Harry raised an eyebrow at her response and tilted his head to the side.

"Nine months? Damn, babe." He murmured, his hands going under her shirt, his fingers tracing up her sides, making her shiver. Getting the reactions from her felt almost as good as her rubbing over his cock. "That's a long time."

“Just didn’t find anyone good enough to let in my bed.” She retorted, using her grip on his head to guide him back to her chest. “Take my shirt off.”

Harry didn't need to be told twice. He quickly pulled her shirt off, throwing it over his shoulder, before his hands came back up to her body, slowly tracing up her stomach, his fingers brushing over her skin. The thought had been there quite a few times over what she’d look like bare, but this was a brand new vision for him. One he absolutely adored.

"Beautiful." He murmured, his gaze wandering over her chest as he took in the sight of her bare skin, his breathing growing a bit heavier.

Her voice interrupted his inspection of her body. “Bra, too, please. Have to bite the bullet.” Despite her nerves that maybe he wouldn’t like what he saw, she felt comfortable with him. Harry wouldn’t ever make her feel bad. That much she knew for certain.

Plus… she wanted to feel more of his mouth.

Harry chuckled softly and nodded, his gaze locking with hers for a moment as he ran his fingers over the straps of her bra, pulling them down over her shoulders.

"You're so beautiful, darling. Don't ever feel nervous around me," his reassurance grounded her, his voice gentle but firm.

He reached behind her back, quickly unclasping her bra and pulling it off, tossing it away. Taking a moment to appreciate the sight in front of him, his eyes lit with desire. “God. You don’t even understand how phenomenal you are, do you? M’a lucky son of a bitch that you’re letting me touch you at all.”

Y/N continued to rub herself against him, feeling flushed at the praise. It was embarrassing that she had a pretty good idea that her sleep shorts were getting soaked, but she was swollen and wet and the motions itself of him between her legs were getting her embarrassing close.

Feeling his mouth kiss over the naked skin, she let out a moan that she hadn’t expected to. He was delicate but demanding, taking what he wanted.

Harry groaned as he felt her rubbing herself harder against him, his hands gripping her hips tightly to guide her movements. He couldn't resist the need building up inside him, the need to make her moan and whimper and squirm beneath him.

"You sound so pretty, darling," The compliment murmured against her skin, his lips traveling down her chest, stopping every so often to leave wet kisses, claiming every inch of skin he could. Selfish, possessive, needy. He wouldn’t deny any three of those allegations should she so choose to label him.

“It’s gonna feel so good when you’re inside of me.” She whispered, almost in awe. He was thick and long and she could feel every inch under her. It was almost intimidating to feel it and know that was going to be inside of her at some point. “But I… we have to wait for that. Wanna do that when we aren’t all… you know.” High. At least the first time they fucked, she wanted to be sober completely. “I think I could get off just like this, though. I feel so good right now.”

Harry nodded, his lips continuing to leave wet kisses on her skin, his hands roaming up her sides as he continued to grind himself against her.

"Impatient, aren't you, darling?" He teased, nipping at her neck before moving his mouth to her ear, whispering in it. "You'll just have to wait for that, though. But...there's always other ways to get us both off, hm?"

“Which way?” She breathed, eager to hear any and all suggestions he had.

Harry held her gaze, his eyes dark and full of desire as he spoke in a low, husky tone.

"Let me show you."

He gently pushed her back until she was laying down, his hands running down her thighs, pushing them apart slowly. Shifting his position, he hovered over her, his body fitting perfectly between her legs. His weight rested on his forearms as he looked down at her, she felt her world right itself from how it had been tipped over.

Y/N hadn’t expected the shift of direction but she liked it. Feeling him on top of her, she felt… delicate. Protected. Even if his gaze was predatory and hot, she knew he was good hands to be in.

She also hadn’t expected his hands to grab her shorts, pulling them off and tossing them to the side- but as soon as her panties were exposed, he settled back between her thighs. It was less of a barrier between them.

Harry hummed in approval as he got a glimpse of her panties, taking a moment to admire the sight before him. "You're so fucking wet, darling. Made a mess of those useless shorts. Panties aren’t much better." He murmured, his eyes roaming over her body before they went back up to her face. "And I fuckin’ love that you're all mine right now."

Y/N couldn’t take it anymore. Grabbing his face, she pulled it back up to her own and kissed him. Taking matters into her own hands, she felt him reciprocate immediately. And god, could the man fucking kiss.

Harry let out a soft curse at her sudden action but didn't hesitate to kiss her back through it all, his lips moving against hers hungrily. He pressed his body closer against hers, trapping her beneath him as his tongue delved into her mouth, greedily tasting and claiming her like he had been teasing the whole time.

“I wish you could fuck me right now.” She whimpered, feeling him rock against her. His cock perfectly pressed against her cunt and their mouths lapping against one another’s, it was heated and desperate. They couldn’t, not right now, but the idea of it had her slick and throbbing. It was unfair how her body was so primed and ready for him but she had to do the right thing. He’d feel so perfect inside of her and she’d be so full and they both knew it. “I wish you were inside me.”

Harry groaned at her words, the sound almost like a growl as he buried his face against her neck, his breathing getting heavier as he heard her whimper. He rocked his hips against her, his own need growing stronger with every second that passed.

"You have no idea how badly I want that, darling. But we can't...not yet." He whispered against her skin, his hands gripping her hips tightly. “I’m plenty patient, though. I’ll wait for you to want it, and then…” the pause was heavy. “Then I’ll give you every fucking thing you’ve ever wanted out of a fuck. Can promise you that.”

“I know. I know.” There was no doubt that he was fully and utterly capable. She swallowed back her desperation, wrapping her legs around his hips to pull them closer. “You just feel so good against me. I never expected this…” she whispered against his mouth. “But I’m so happy you decided to be horny and suggest it.”

Harry laughed, leaning down to press his lips against her neck again, licking at the skin as he continued to move his hips against hers, his body hot and heavy against hers. He lifted his head up slightly, looking down at her with darkened eyes as he took in how she had started to look a little blissed out. Just how he wanted her.

"I didn't expect it either, darling. But... I'm glad I did." He murmured, his fingers caressing her skin as he settled into a slow, steady rhythm. Rubbing back and forth, rocking his clothed cock into the sticky heat of her ruined panties, he knew her scent would be on them and that just sort of did something to him. Her own mark left on him.

Y/N felt the bubbling pleasure in her tummy. Feeling him rutting against her, the softness of his tongue as it brushed against her own, his hand curled around the back of her neck in such a possessive and firm grip, she felt controlled in the best way. Her eyes rolled back as she felt him grind harder against her.

“Fuck, Daddy. That feels so fucking good, feeling you against my cunt.” She purred, keeping herself glued to him. There was a pause of moment but she could feel him twitch against her, the sharp intake of breath as he tried to catch himself. It had been a shot in the dark, but one that hit the bullseye. “You like when I call you that? Does it make you feel good too?”

The reaction was visible. The man liked it more than she could even seem but that didn’t mean she wasn’t going to play into it to see just how far it went. “Daddy… daddy…. Dadddy.” She taunted, whispering it against his skin. “You’ll make me cum like this. Just keep grinding into me…. Just like this.”

Harry groaned at her response, his lips moving down to her neck, leaving biting kisses in his path. The honorific had him weak, even more worked up than he had thought he could be in this scenario. Little Y/N was getting bolder by the minute and he fucking adored it. It made him wonder what else he could get out of her.

"You're gonna get it, darling. Jus’ be patient and let me make you feel nice, the way you’ve been wantin’ too." he murmured against her skin, his hips continuing to move against hers, keeping a steady pace. His hand cupped her chin, forcing her to look up at him, his eyes dark and intense as he looked down at her. "Daddy's gonna take such good care of you, Y/N. Don’t ever doubt it."

Harry was hot to the touch, her fingers guiding his face back to kiss her as he ground his cock into her. She could feel how it twitched against her, her legs keeping him close so they could stay glued together. “That feels…” she babbled. “S’good. So good, H. I feel so hot and I’m so fucking wet and I wish there wasn’t anything between us but we gotta be good. So good.” She rambled. It was hard to control what left her mouth. She would call it temporary insanity if he brought it up again outside of their arrangement, but the simple movements were making her lose her goddamn head.

Harry's breathing was getting heavier by the minute, his heart pounding against his chest like they wanted to escape his ribcage as he continued to rock his hips against hers. He felt hot and needy, every fiber of his being screaming to be closer to her, but he held himself back, knowing that they had to at least try to be good. He’d get to sink his cock into that hot cunt another day, make her cum around it and squeeze and milk every drop from his balls into her. That was something he was going to look forward to. But for right now they were testing the waters, and he liked it way more than he thought he would.

"Y’feel so good, darling. So, so fuckin’ good, can barely stand it." He murmured against her lips, letting the praise flow easily off his tongue. It’s what the woman deserved. All these shitty hookups and no one knew how to get to those little itches she couldn’t scratch- but he could read her so easily. Harry knew what she needed. "You're doing so well for me, being so good. Daddy's proud of you."

The last sentence made her whine out loud. Pleasure flowed through her at his praise, wanting more of it. All of it. It had been so long since she had been touched by someone else, and while the last person she had expected to do it was her best friend, she had also never felt this level of desperation.

Harry could feel her body responding to his words, her whimpers and whines making his own desire for her grow even more. He loved knowing that his praise was making her feel good, that she needed to hear his words. He continued to murmur sweet, filthy things in her ear as his body moved against hers, his need for her growing more and more intense with every second.

"That’s my girl, sweetheart. You're doing so well for me, letting me take care of you like this."

He knew it had been a long time for her, felt it in how she kissed. Selfishly he would be glad to be the one she got to take care of her. No one else really deserved it. Maybe he didn’t either, but he cared for her genuinely. He liked her and he wanted the best for her- so that’s what he was going to do.

“M’gonna cum, daddy.” She whispered. “I feel it. You’re getting my clit so perfect each time you move… god, s’so embarrassing to cum dry humping but I forgot how good it feels.” Or maybe it just hadn’t ever felt this good with anyone else. It had been a while, sure, but she hadn’t actually had dry sex with someone since she was sneaking around with her boyfriends back home. Something about it made her know that it had to be a Harry thing, though. That he’s the reason it felt this fucking good and why she was desperate for it.

Harry could feel her words shooting straight to his core, his body growing hotter in response. He could tell that she was close before she had even said so, by the way her body trembled against him, by the way her words got breathier and more desperate. Hearing her say so only made him more eager to get there.

"That's it, sweetheart. Let daddy make you feel good, darling." Harry murmured in her ear, his hands gripping her tighter, his body moving against hers more frantically now as he chased his own release alongside hers. She was going to cum, she was going to cum because of him and fuck if that wasn’t the sweetest reward he could think of- he wasn’t sure what was. "You're doing so perfect for me. Just let go for me. You can do it. I've got you, sweet girl."

Y/N felt it approach quicker than she had wanted. It was no wonder, though. Harry was giving her everything she didn’t know she needed in the simplest way, and he wasn’t even inside of her yet. She felt safe and appreciated as his fingers held her and his lips cooed encouragement to her, the rhythmic back and forth of his cock rutting against her poor, soaked panties, the heat boiling over.

“I’m gonna- m’cumming, m’cumming, I’m cumming Daddy- Harry.” She babbled as her eyes welled up with pleasured tears, nails digging into his skin as she came.

Harry's breathing hitched as he felt her grip on him, her hands digging into his skin and her body trembling against his as she came. “There you go baby, there you fuckin’ go. Yes.” He gasped, feeling himself tip over the edge. His name leaving her lips in a strangled whimper had been the final straw, his own release hitting him like a wave, his body shuddering against hers as he followed her over the edge. Shooting right into his briefs, he felt the hot and sticky load and momentarily mourned the loss of it not being inside of her, but it was quickly passed over as the orgasm washed over him.

"God, darling," the man groaned, his voice low and rough as he buried his face against her neck. Mouthing over the skin as he tried to gather his bearings, he mumbled sweetness into her. "You did so well for me, sweetheart. You're so perfect. So good for me. Sweetest fuckin’ peach."

The loud groan that followed her own had caught her off guard, the sharp thrusts of his hips making her cry out in overstimulation but she did little to stop it, keeping her legs around his hips. “What the fuck was that?” She laughed, head falling back on the sofa with her eyes blurry and wet. It was hard to think.

Harry couldn’t say anything, his own brain fuzzy and his body in overload after that climax. He was breathing heavily, his chest heaving as he tried to catch his breath, his forehead resting on her shoulder. His curls brushed her skin, scalp slightly damp as her fingers settled in the mess of hair and brushed through it without a second thought.

"Bloody fuckin’ hell, babe." Harry finally managed to say, his voice a bit shaky. "That was… incredible." He lifted his head up, looking down at her disheveled and flushed form, his eyes roaming over her.

It was just dry sex, but it had been better than some of the full on stuff he’d had. Maybe it was just their connection, their vibe, maybe even being high, but he knew it felt impeccable. This was something he wanted to revisit- and he would, especially when he was all alone with his hand on his cock.

“If it feels good like that, what the hell are we gonna do when we do the real thing?” Y/N blinked up at him, the flush of her orgasm glowing on her skin. She felt her body shivering slightly, her poor panties a complete mess she’d need to change into, but there was no regret so far. It took her by surprise considering she had been anticipating a bit of awkwardness between the both of them but there was no hint of it as they recovered, a light kiss pressed over her cheek as his hazy eyes looked down at her.

Harry let out a half-laugh, his body still feeling heavy and spent after that intense release- one that had been a welcomed surprise. There had been no prior indication that would be happening tonight but for as insane as it was that it happened, he was more than happy that it did. Getting to experience this side of Y/N had been something he liked far more than he could have ever anticipated.

Leaning down, his forearms rested on either side of her head as his eyes locked with hers while he spoke. "I have a feeling that the real thing will be earth-shattering." He said, his voice low and slightly hoarse. "The wait might kill me, though."

[potentialguybodyswaps]

Brother body part swap part 2:

Oh man, my brother is such a dumbass, and now I get to keep his, I mean my new awesome big cock, I get he was trying to be helpful and make me happy, but how dumb could he be?

It started a few days ago when I got kinda self conscious after hanging out with my friends smoking pot, talkin about all the girls we fuck, when in actuality I don’t fuck many, kinda been hurt too many times when they make fun of my dick size….

After my friends left, I sat down with my bro who was high as a kite watching Tv

I asked him “hey Christian, I have a question for you”

“Yuh” Christian said not breaking focus from the tv and looking like a zombie

“How old were you when you first got laid” I said clasping my hands together and leaning in, trying to look like I was focusing on the tv and not his answer

“17”

“And how big is your dick?”

“Um about 9 inches… um you?” He said tilting his head to try and look at me

I wasn’t ready for him to fire back a question like that, I don’t wanna lie but I don’t want him to make fun of me if he’s actually 9 inches, bro must have gotten the good genes in the family

“Um, 7 myself. Why do you ask?” I said feeling like a fraud for lying

“Bro chill, I don’t care, you asked me first after all, what’s the problem, something wrong?” He said finally breaking from trying to make eye contact with me and faced the tv again

“Um, I mean, kinda I guess… some girls I’ve been with kinda think I’m small” i said sinking into the couch feeling embarrassed

“Nah bro, your good, I mean your pretty good looking, no homo. And 7 inches isn’t small, bigger than average, she’s probs just a college slut, there’s always someone bigger. Now let’s just watch the rest of this, and finish the season haha” my brother said laughing referring to the show we’re watching, Rick and Morty, what a fit show for a smoking session might I add

“… wait you think I’m good looking?” I said smiling trying not to blush for some reason “haha thanks bro, just one more question what’s your body count, like how often do you get laid?”

“Uh like 2 or 3”

“2 or 3!? Times or girls?” I said shocked from what I herd

“Times bro, now shut up we can talk about this later dude” he said annoyed that I kept bothering him

I was quiet for the rest of the episode and decided to go up to my room after that figuring that’s the most I could get out of him without it being weird. I mean it was already weird but I didn’t want it to be anymore

I ended up falling asleep pretty early that day sense me and my brother actually go to the same college, we both gotta get up early so he can drive us both there

I wasn’t asleep for long when I herd a knocking at my door

I sat up letting my hair dangle in my face and just pulled my phone out that way I could play games or whatever when whoever walks though the door decides to talk to me

Chris opened the door a little bit and stuck his head in

Ultimately he was just checking in on me asking how I was doing and eventually came in having one of those brotherly talks where he basically just tells me he cares about me, that he’s here if I ever need to talk, and how I’m his favorite little brother, when In reality I’m his only little brother…

We started talking about my problems and I broke down a little bit completely throwing myself onto my bad trying to hide my face so he couldn’t see I was about to cry

I told him I mainly just wanted a actual relationship but all the girls I do like dump me

He told me something along the lines of how he’s not like me, and was shocked this is what I actually want and how it seemed like me and my friends were playing a game of who could fuck the most girls

That just upsetted me even more cause I forgot for a moment about how I’m very good at making it seem like I’m a fuck boi that gets all the girls, when in reality all my one night stands, weren’t one night stands cause of my choice, they all decided 5 inches isn’t enough

Chris could see I was hurting on the inside from this, not knowing the actual reasoning why I can’t keep a girl, and told me that most of his girlfriends always thought I was the cute one, he then proceeded to ask if I wanted him to try and hook me up with one of them

“Ya” I said trying not to let my voice break

“Ok, I’ll start work on it tomorrow” Christian said walking out

The next day came and went as usual, however Christian did tell me I had a date with his Ex Beth in like 2 days! That’s not alot of time to prepare but I think he purposely set it up cause that’s my birthday, must just trying to be cheap and call my date a gift or something

I spent the whole rest of that day and the next telling Christian all my ideas for my date and asking questions like what did she like

Chris told me “just be you, maybe hang out for a little bit, dinner if she gets hungry, perhaps take her out to the lake and go for a swim”

I asked Chris “ how are we gonna get there? It’ll be pretty weird if you have to drive us, even more pathetic if she has to drive us” I said annoyed

I saw chris roll and eyes and reach into his pockets pulling out the keys to his mustang and tossing them to me

“Duh bro you can borrow my car I guess while you go on your date, don’t fucking scratch it tho, you know mustangs aren’t cheap” he said all seriously

“Seriously bro? Your gonna let me drive the stang? What’s the catch, why are you being so nice all of a sudden” I said squinting my eyes at him

“No reason bro, it’s your birthday, that’s like 1 of the 2 days a year I legally have to be nice to you, what you don’t wanna drive it?” Christian said raising an eyebrow to me

“No!, No!, I do! It was just a question that’s all” i said back peddling trying not to get him ask for his keys back

“Listen we can talk more about this tomorrow ok?” I said tossing him back the keys

Me being the stoner I am I proceeded to go back to my room and get high so I can fall asleep and wake up sooner to start enjoying my birthday

As always I’m typically the first one out the door but this morning I almost tripped over a packaged addressed to Chris

I opened back up the front door and yelled “Chris there’s a package here for you! On the step” And the. Proceeded to go back to the car

Once inside I kinda just closed my eyes and tried falling asleep again, sleeps one of my favorite things and I’ll take every minute I can get of it

For some reason my feet got super tight in my shoes but I didn’t think much about it just kicked them off so it quit distracting me from taking a few minute nap

After a bit I could hear my door open and a pair of shoes and keys were tossed on me

“Your driving” I herd a voice say

I looked up was shocked to see my own body wearing my clothes

“Bro what the fuck! Why am I looking at myself” i said frantically trying to pull the sun visor down just to be greeted with my brothers face instead of mine

“Holy shit! I’m you now Christian, how did this happen!?” I said feeling my face thinking I was still asleep

In the corner of my eye I could see my brother reach into his hoodie and pull out a necklace dangling it around his neck

“Remember the necklace you wanted” he said still jiggling the necklace around

“Ya and you got it? And it actually works!?” Holy shit bro this is crazy” I said unbuttoning my jeans so I can check his dick out

“Aye bro, I think you forgot a part” I said looking at him disappointed

“Nah dude, I just felt like it’d be weird to swap that, now anyways get up your driving.” Chris said standing there waiting for me to get up

I stood up, putting on his shoes and walked over to the driver side and started the car. Not gonna lie, really weird being in my brothers body, like carrying the weight feels weird, we both weigh almost the same but since Chris is taller I’m way skinner now than in my real body… but anyways I was really excited to drive my brothers car, I fucking love his car, I kinda have a thing for mustangs

I know it’s important to let your car warm up so I left it started for about a minute before I put it in drive and started heading to our classes

“So… um, how long is this gonna last? Or how long are we gonna stay swapped” i said trying to keep my eyes on the road

“Oh I don’t know, there was a instructions booklet but I don’t think we need that haha… aslong as you want bro, aslong as it’s within reason, so could be for a day, could be for a week or two, but I definitely don’t wanna be you for a whole month haha, guess you could consider this another birthday gift” said laughing checking his smile out in the side mirror

“Oh jeez, thanks bro, but you do remember I have that date tonight right?” I said a bit annoyed about the timing of the swap

“Well I mean we could always swap back after class. Or we could stay like this and I could go on your date for you maybe? That way I can do everything possible to make sure you get a 2nd date and continue seeing you, sense, ya know… you like to fuck up a lot haha” he said laughing at me

“Not funny dude, but ya dude I guess maybe it would be a good idea for you to go as me. You’d probably know what she would like and could probably seal the deal with her to date me” I said pulling off the main road and onto the campus looking for a place to park

“So we have a deal then?” Chris said holding a hand out

“Deal” i said shaking his hand

After turning the car off and opening the door to get out I herd Chris yell “Hope you have a good day CHRISTIAN” he said putting emphasis on his name, er I guess my name for now

“You too benji” I said also putting emphasis on his new name

I went to Chris’s class for the day and they were a lot harder than what I expected mainly the bullshit math and science ones that typically don’t have much to do with whatever major you pick

After school I waited by the car for my brother to come that way I can drive us both home and he can start getting ready his date

Chris was going though my whole closet looking for a outfit that was date worthy and when the time finally came for him to go pick Beth up, he came and grabbed the keys to the car

After he took the keys and left me in his room, I started looking at myself in the mirror slowly stripping looking at my boney figure

I mean Chris ain’t that bad looking but even he admits I’m the better looking one, I mean truthfully I don’t think I’d mind staying in his body, but only if I had his dick, that’s also assuming he’s not lying about being 9 inches hard haha, I know I’m no where near that, I’m really 5 inches and our dad is about the same so I doubt bro is even above 6

Wondering if it was possible a swap could be permanent I remembered Chris said there was a instruction book that he threw away cause who needs one for a fucking necklace

I found a little pamphlet in his trash and started reading it, really only 2 pages explaining how it works, how to do a swap, but after that there was a section explaining what to do if you want a swap to become permanent

The pamphlet said if you want a permanent swap all you have to do is jerk off since the magic in the necklace is holy magic, any sins done while swapped can break the magic link leaving it useless to those that used it. So things like sexual conduct before marriage, or even just jerking off was enough to break it

It’s a good thing I read this cause I was gonna jerk off but I don’t think I wanna be stuck as my brother, taller and skinner now but with the same sized dick I have, it kinda looks even smaller

I decided to get dressed again and started playing Chris’s Xbox looking for a good game to play, finally settling on over watch playing quick play not wanting to mess up his competitive score

About an hour and a half later, I was in the middle of the practice range testing out a new hero when I herd the door open, I paused it and turned around looking up to see my brother “how’d it go, does she still wanna go out with me?” I said

“Oh ya bro, it’s still not over, I’m just here to grab some shorts cause she wants to go down to the lake and go for a swim before it gets real dark… do you think it’d be wrong of me if I tried to fuck her on the first date?” He said grabbing a bag and putting some black shorts and some towels in it

“Nah bro, I mean it does sound like something I’d do, so she might be expecting it” i said not able to help giving him a sly smile

Chris ended up setting his bag down and went into the bathroom connected to his room, just then an idea struck me and I ran to my room grabbing a pair of my shorts and ran back taking his shorts out tossing them under the bed and stuffing mine in the bag

Just then chris came out the bathroom seeing me stuff something in there.

“What’s that” he said walking closer to grab the bag

“Uh… just some condoms, can’t be too careful right?” I said taking a step back trying not to seem suspicious

“Ugh ya thanks bro, stopping at a store to buy some might have been weird if she knew I was planning to do this haha” grabbing the bag and laughing while he walked out saying “see ya later bro”

After he left I couldn’t help but laughing to myself “oh man, I can’t believe I just did that, well I guess atleast now I I’ll know how big his dick is… although I suppose if he does fuck her once we swap junk, we’ll permanently be stuck like this, but I mean if he’s actually that hung and not lying, I think I could live with this, but fuck, I hate the fact that this is a gamble that he’s not lying about how big he is” I thought to myself

I went back to playing my game, going back to quick play, after like 5 or 6 games holding the controller in my hand resting them on my sweats, I started feeling someone brushing my hand, I lifted up both hands and saw a larger bulge than before

“Oh my god this is it, he put my swim shorts on” I thought myself backing out my game and getting up to go to the bathroom

I pulled my sweats down some and could see the large imprint on my underwear, I pulled those down too, to take a piss and was left almost speechless, bro looks as big soft as I do hard that’s insane haha

After getting done with taking I piss I went back to the room and took my pants completely off standing in the middle of the room in just my brothers underwear, I swapped into his early cause why not, not like I could actually swap anything myself

I pulled them down a little bit and grabbed my dick, thinking about how I have my brothers dick might be a little weird but the fact that it’s so much bigger is even hotter

It started growing in my hand and once fully hard I grabbed a tape measure and measured it, I just had to know

And sure enough he wasn’t lying, Chris actually does have a 9 inch dick, we’ll actually 9 inches and 1/4th

I started slowly jerking off at a pace that wouldn’t be able to make me cum, basically just edging and enjoying the use of my huge cock debating if I wanted to cum, I could be the nice brother and swap back with him, but at the same time he probably fucked his ex already, oh man she HAS to be disappointed, but at the same time I don’t wanna go back to disappointed women. But I might not have to, if he fucked her then that means we can’t swap back anyways, but if he hasn’t then that means I have to give him his dick and body back

I sped up my jerking and kept stopping short of cuming for over an hour continuing my internal debate, on whether or not I wanted to do this and keeping Chris’s body, trapping him in mine, like I said kinda hot we’ve swapped bodies entirely, the big dick is even hotter, but I don’t know if I could keep his body forever

Just then I herd a car door slam and I figured that was Christian pissed off, not having anymore time to debate, I sped up, hoping I’m making the right decision, sense I’ve been edging for over an hour it didn’t take long for me to cum now that I ramped up the speed trying to bust before he walks in on me jerking, probably took less than half a minute of me jerking furiously to finally bust sending giant ropes of cum flying out my dick, 6 or 7 ropes total flew out my dick landing a couple feet away and a few more smaller ones landing on my feet

Just as I was panting, about to wipe the tip of my head off and put it away, Chris walks in, i looked at him the moment he opened the door, looking like he was about to yell but went into shock for a few minutes at the site of me with his dick in my hand

“You didn’t!” He said loudly with my old higher voice

“I froze, uh uh uh, this isn’t what it looks like” i said panicking, I thought I’d have a few more moments before he’d come in

“Really? Cause it looks like you swapped my shorts out for yours, I come back after my date almost exploding after I told her I’m almost as big as my brother, which was a let down for her when she saw I’m only 5 inches hard! And walked in right after you got done jerking off in my body!” He said angrily

“Uh, uh, Im sorry just couldn’t help myself, when I noticed my dick didn’t feel right I decided to check it out and then I got hard from looking at this chopper and I just couldn’t help myself haha” i said trying to break the tension

“Whatever dude your lucky Beth still wants to go out with you, we’re fucking done with this swap, get out” he said grabbing some of his clothes and a beanie

I walked out smirking knowing what was gonna happen.

“Hold on,” I said stopping at the door “I thought you said we could stay swapped for a week or too”

“Ya well you forfeited that when you took my shorts and swapped them with your own, I told you I didn’t wanna swap junks with you, I mean who wants a smaller dick, not to mention balls. I didn’t wanna lose 2 inches and instead you forced me to lose 4! Now get out!” He screamed at me slamming the door on me

I went back to my room smirking and just laid on my bed waiting for him to realize swapping back wouldn’t work

I laid in bed for about 5 minutes when I herd a “WHAT THE FUCK” from across the hall and then stomping coming my way

“Oh? Did you change your mind?” I said trying to look shocked but failing to hide a creeping smile from popping up on my face

“No as you can see, I’m wearing my clothes but nothing happened, now help me get this dam necklace off” he said failing to get the necklace off

“Oh this is great, I mean might not be the best body to be stuck in but with a dick this big, I don’t mind giving up the cute brother title, atleast I’ll be the big dicked brother haha fucking sweat!” I thought to myself as I walked over and tried to unclasp the necklace to no prevail, I decided to pull it off breaking the clasp to the necklace

I decided to grab some of my old clothes and put them on before I decided to loosely tie the necklace around my neck so I was technically still wearing it

“Did you ever read the instructions” i said trying to hide a smile

“No, what would be so important about stupid instructions for a necklace” he said frustrated

“A magic necklace, and well in the instructions it says that part of the magic is if you desire to keep your parts you have, all you have to do is cum, ether jerking off or sex, whatever gets you to blow” i said with a full blown shit eating grin now as I saw realization Dawn upon Chris’s face

“And well you already had sex with Beth in my body right?” I said

“Ya” he said changing facial expressions from confused to horrified

“And I already jerked off right before you got back. Which means nothing is probably gonna happen” i said

We waited in silence for a couple minutes before he finally snapped

“So you knew if you jerked off we wouldn’t be able to swap back!? What the fuck is wrong with you dude? Now we’re stuck like this! We gotta find a way to swap back, I don’t wanna be known as the small dick little brother” Chris said with tears in his eyes

“Let me reiterate something you said to me not long ago. “” who wants a smaller dick”” well not me, when I saw you weren’t actually bullshitting about having a 9 inch dick, I decided I don’t actually mind having your body. Knowing you probably would try and bang your ex in my body, I decided to seize the opportunity and jerk off in your body, just to seal the deal in case you didn’t fuck her, just so I can keep this” I said putting my hand in my pants and fondling my dick and balls

“I mean not to mention even if I didn’t swap our shorts out, sense you fucked her we’d still be stuck but then you’d be hung in my body while I kept my shrimp dick in yours, it kinda looked weird on me sense I’m skinner and taller now… so don’t be mad that you fucked up and made it permanent, I just took advantage and swapped the final thing out that way it’s a complete Bodyswap” i said

“I mean you don’t have to be known as the little dicked brother, your known as the cute brother now, you just happen to have a small cock now, so if I was you BENJI, I’d get use to being the smaller brother in more than one way, cause luckily for me, this is permanent now haha” i said laughing and putting emphasis on his name

#longoverdo

#fromthevault

[justnatoka]

Jealous? Nah.

David x GN! Reader

Word count: 872

Prompt: "OH you're jealous!"

David was in a particularly foul mood tonight. The cheery atmosphere of the boardwalk seemed to just flow by him without any effect, as if a dark cloud was hanging around him, shielding him from all the fun. The boys noticed it too. Their leader has been quiet for a while, chainsmoking one cigarette after another.

The more attentive among them – meaning Dwayne – quickly figured out what was going on. All he had to do was follow David’s gaze to where it has been fixated for a while. From where they stood, they had a perfect view of one of the vendors selling jewelry. And in front of that vendor were you and Michael.

You were talking away about one thing or another, picking up a bracelet and turning it around in your hand, all the while seemingly having no idea how Michael’s eyes were lingering on you. He was leaning towards you, taking in your words with attention, smiling every once in a while at something you said.

David wanted to bite someone. He tried to convince himself it was only his imagination, that there was no way Michael would be so bold as to go after his partner. He also didn’t believe that you would reciprocate if he did. Still, when you started laughing at something Michael said, the melodic sound travelling to them above the white noise of the boardwalk, something in David’s chest tightened aggressively. He didn’t even notice his hand was clenched into a fist until Marko addressed him.

“Hey, man, you okay?”

David blinked a few times, trying to shake off the uncomfortable feeling that was growing in his gut.

“Yeah, I’m good. Why?”

Marko hesitated for a moment.

“I don’t know, dude, you looked like you wanted to kill someone.”

David scoffed, and took a drag of his cigarette.

When they didn’t get any further response, the boys reluctantly settled into conversation once again, leaving their leader to sink back into his less than pleasant thoughts. He couldn’t help himself, his gaze wandering towards you. Then he almost crushed his pack of smokes as he saw Michael holding up a necklace between you, seemingly trying to decide how it would look on you, smiling warmly at you when he came to a favorable conclusion. David snuffed out his finished cigarette, and instantly ripped out the next one from the package with decidedly more force than needed. He was on the verge of getting up to go and break Michael’s hand.

That was the moment Paul decided to loudly voice his realization.

“OH you’re jealous!”

Silence fell over the group as they all stared at him. Dwayne wanted to bury his face in his hand. Sure, Paul could be surprisingly observant, even when he was high as a kite, it was something he had surprised them with on a number of occasions. However, he seemed to just fuck up the timing every single time.

“What?”

Paul sensed the warning tone in that single word. He shrunk under the intensity of David’s glare.

“I mean…,” he started hesitantly, “am I wrong?”

The accusation – and the possibility of it being right – didn’t sit well with David. He wasn’t the type to get jealous, he told himself. Why would he be? And especially at Michael? Ridiculous.

You slowed your steps as you approached the group, immediately sensing the tension in the air.

“What’s going on?”

Four heads whipped in your direction and you almost took a step back. You didn’t miss the tightness in David’s jaw before it was replaced with a much softer expression.

“Nothing, kitten, everything’s fine.” He held out his hand and you took it without hesitation, sighing in contentment as he drew you in close to his chest. “Did you find something you like?”

“As a matter of fact I did! Or more like Michael did,” you corrected yourself and David’s gaze darkened for a moment.

“Did he now?” He felt a smug satisfaction at the visible chills that ran down the boy’s spine as he glared at him over your head.

“Yes, and see? It looks like you.”

He dropped his gaze between the two of you and there, in the middle of your palm sat a small pendant in the shape of a bat on a simple silver chain. It had little yellow eyes, and the spiked up hair at the top of its head looked remarkably like his own. He blinked at it in silence for a few long seconds, and you seriously started to worry that he didn’t like it.

You yelped in surprise when he suddenly drew you into a hug. It was rare for him to show this much physical attention in public, so it took you a moment to realize what was actually happening before melting into his embrace, a knowing smile secretly stretching on your lips.

“Will you help me put it on?” you asked him after he finally broke away from you, his hands lingering on your hips.

“Of course.” The fondness in his eyes as he looked down at you filled your heart with giddy warmth. It confirmed that you chose wisely, because seeing him like this was worth everything, even a little jealous misunderstanding.

Tags: @stinkydove @pandemoniavenus

[chuckle-clips]

Ted: Sizzle, sizzle, sizzle.

Schlatt: Exactly.

Ted: He’s actually a frying pan. Wait—

Schlatt: What?

Ted: Is that what you…?

Charlie: Dude, I think you might’ve picked up some droplets earlier or something.

Schlatt: Yeah, you might’ve inhaled some droplets.

Ted: Oh, I’m high as a kite right now. You guys both look like bears.

Charlie: You look a little— You look a little flushed right now, how’s the traffic, Ted?

Schlatt: You’re looking flushed, man.

Charlie: Check the traffic report for me. Oh, all clear.

Ted: My hands are tentacles right now. I don’t know who my name is.

Charlie: Dude, I genuinely want you so badly… to— to wake up tomorrow—

Ted: [Laughs] I thought you were gonna end it there. I thought you were gonna end it there.

[All laugh]

Ted: Dude, I—

Schlatt: Charlie confesses his love, finally.

Ted: Dude, I want you so badly. ‘Cause that was right when you chose to breathe.

Schlatt: I want you so badly— [laughs]

Ted: That was right in the part of the sentence that you chose to breathe.

Charlie: Dude, dude, I— someone please just clip that part and like make it an animatic or something and just end the fucking video after that.

Ted: We’re giving our fans a lot of work this episode.

[clemnchai]

Dealer! Ellie headcannon’s ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

dealer! ellie who’s your polar opposite. everyone was surprised when you two first came out. you’re sweet as honey and shy— outfits always a littlee skimpy. and ellie was… ellie. she loves it tho. loves having arm candy ♡

dealer! ellie who gets genuinely offended when you try to roll your own joints or even smoke without her. she’s such a baby about it. “what the fuck? where’d you get this shit from?” she picks up the tiny baggy with aggravation on her face. “well… you were busy els— and i’ve been stressed! y’cant be mad at me because you neglected me” you say with a small pout. “neglect—? ok ok. you’re not smoking this shit, man. how about this, i roll you a joint with my good shit and we can watch hello kitty island adventure—whatever the fuck and chill, kay?” safe to say ellie takes the ‘pretty girl’ discount seriously ♡

dealer! ellie who always rolls your joints in strawberry papers and bags your weed in cute baggies w hearts ♡

dealer! ellie who called you princess in a teasing way at first but it just…. stuck. ♡

dealer! ellie only lets you do her make up while she’s high as a kite. so now you’re here sitting on her lap putting mascara and eyeliner on her pretty red eyes. “els, stop moving. i’ll mess up” you stop and sit back to look at her while she smokes the last of her joint. “you’re lucky m’ letting you do this— how long does this take again? is this why you take so long to get ready?” you rolled your eyes as she rambled and she playfully pinches ur waist and smoothes her hand over. “done! “ you hand her a small mirror to look at your work. “cute. my lil’ picasso.” leaning in to give you a wet smooch that you dodge. “no kisses, you’ll ruin my work.” she huffs and sits up to effortlessly flip you over so she’s on top of you. you let out a girly squeal at the sudden change in position. “fuck that.” she says n’ then gives you wet, exaggerated kisses all over your pretty, giggly face ♡

dealer! ellie who does things because she knows it makes you nervous. she’ll take your cheeks in between her fingers and shotgun kiss you during the smoke sesh and chuckle at how you look at her w doe eyes:( or she’ll tease you in public— moving her hand a little too close to the warmth in between your thighs and pulling away when she hears your breath stutter. she can be so mean:( ♡

dealer! ellie who listens to 90s rap and r&b. also cannot fuck you without some r&b in the background. “sets the mood” she says. ♡

dealer! ellie who passes you the joint when fucking you:( “yea— yea. shit. you look so fucking good.” she pulls the joints from her mouth and blows the smoke away from your face. the way you cream around her strap makes her head fuzzier than weed could ever. “here— open up bun” she places the joint in between you lips and stares as you inhale— and eventually pull back to turn your head up to exhale. “mmh.” she gives a validating hum and smacks your ass— completely discarding the joint to kiss your red, pouty lips ♡

dealer! ellie who makes stupid jokes and conspiracies while high. “dude…. what do you think would happen if everyone farted at the exact same time. what if the world like— fuckin’— exploded or something.” “ellie.. what?” you cant contain your giggles at the auburn haired girls question. “what?? it’s a genuine question. what if all of our farts created a nuclear bomb. that’s kinda… scary. now i’m getting scared.” she said seriously— as if the made up situation could ever happen. “ellie.. that will never happen and i’m pretty sure your farts alone could create a nuclear bomb.” you joked back and giggled at her offended face. “okay…. you got me.” she’s so silly😭

dealer! ellie who only downloads social media so you can send her memes and things that remind you of her. her only instagram pics are scenery pics and pictures of you ♡

dealer! ellie who loves ass. that’s it. especially loves when you wear short skirts so when you bend down she can see your cute pink panties. sometimes she’ll pull your panties to the side and eat your pussy from the back till your knees are weak:( ♡

dealer! ellie who just loves her girl soo much!! you’ll often catch her staring at you and you get so shy— but all she’s thinking about is how lucky she is to have such a sweet girl like you belong to her and her only ♡

- ˚ʚ♡a ɞ˚

[outsidersandlostboys]

We’re on the fifth one now (I think)

Thank you all on your support of these! 🤟

-

Y/n: You look like a mess

David: very funny pick on the guy WHO CAN’T SEE HIS REFLECTION Y/N GEEZ

Y/n: Therapy. Therapy is your Christmas gift this year.

-

Y/n: Fire is just chilled out electricity

Dwayne: Y/n I don’t think that makes sense

Paul (high): nah it makes total sense bro

-

David: you’re music taste is overrated Y/n

Y/n: and so is smoking but I’m not judging you for the fact that you could stop smoking and could still have lungs left in your decaying body.

David: …

Star: Damn Y/n..

-

Marko: I wanna eat drywall, it looks crunchy

Paul: dude, it would taste so good, and it’s like eating those dipping candies

Y/n: *bites wall* I’ve been lied to

Dwayne: Y/n what the fuck

-

Max: I don’t play favourites

Y/n: then why is there a drawing from Dwayne put higher up than Marko’s and David’s? In fact why is Paul higher up than David?

Max: …They were placed like that randomly..

Y/n: Dwayne isn’t even a golden child! Yesterday he flipped all your shirts inside out and then tried to hide a spider in the closet!

Max: but he doesn’t smoke

Y/n: oh really?

Dwayne: *high as a kite* Whoa, were your walls always this white Max?

Max: fucks sake

-

David: I take pride in being the badass one

Paul: and I take pride in being the goofy one

Marko: Being cool looking is mine

Dwayne: I take pride in being taller than any of you

Paul: that’s weird dude

Y/n: yeah take that you tree

David: you’re at least to his shoulder Y/n, I wouldn’t be surprised if you turned into tree stump

Y/n: I hope your blood circulation sucks

-

Y/n: I ate a penny

David: Y/n, What. The. Fuck.

Paul: what did it taste like?

Y/n: blood

David: WAHT?

Dwayne: like metal you mean?

Y/n: yeah but I don’t think we have copper in our blood

David: how the fuck do you know what specific metals are in our blood but decide to eat a penny?

Y/n: why not?

Marko: yeah David why not?

David: …

David: I’m going to strangle all of you

-

Paul: I got stabbed

Dwayne: what?!

David: how the heck did you get stabbed?!

Paul: well a guy came up to me with a knife and I said “what are you gonna do? Stab me?” And he did

Marko: well I mean he did stab you

Y/n: yeah I dunno what you were expecting him to do…

Paul: obviously kiss me y/n jeez

Y/n: oh shit, you right

-

Thank you all for your support on these, I really love making them ❤️

[buckyismybicycle]

Title: “I wanna be your slave, I wanna be your master” [AO3 Link]   Originally written as part of: Bucky Barnes As… a Rockstar  SERIES MASTERLIST  Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader Rating: Mature Summary/Notes: This is, pretty much, exactly what it looks like. Rockstar Bucky, Flirting, etc. EDIT: Now! I’m happy to announce that this is now IT’S OWN SERIES that I have the honour of writing with @rookthorne! More rockstar!Bucky for everyone! 

“𝐦𝐲 𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫 𝐨𝐧 𝐇𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐲𝐰𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐁𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐞𝐯𝐚𝐫𝐝” Series Masterlist | Part 2 »

The crowd is already worked up from the band on stage and Bucky is grinning maniacally behind the stage. Nat, his bassist, looks at him like he’s grown a second head.

“You good, Buck?”

“Fucking fantastic, Natalia. I’m fucking fantastic. You see ‘em? It’s packed out there.”

“Your shows have been sold out all week,” Sharon reminds him while fixing Scott’s guitar strap.

“Iunno, Shar, it’s just different. Somethin’ about this place.” His blood is pumping from the heavy bass, the Cap Quartet rocking out on stage. He’s played shows with them before - Sam, Steve, Joaquin and Riley are all cool dudes. They’d become friends pretty easily, so it was a no-brainer that they were the first band Bucky asked to co-headline his tour.

—

“Thank you, you beautiful bastards!” Riley’s voice booms, followed by a loud screeching of the crowd. “Hang onto your panties if you still got ‘em, because the final act is gonna knock you dead. Yeah, you know who I’m talking about, the band you’ve all been waiting for — let me hear you fuckers!”

Bucky closes his eyes and lets the thrum of the audience's cheer work its way all the way into his bones. Fuck, he almost has a boner.

“Where’s Clint?” He asks, eager to get on stage. Natasha jerks a finger behind her where Clint is downing a bag of Cheerios between sips of Mountain Dew. Bucky grins, because it means Clint will be amped. Bucky can’t help but strum his own guitar a few times, the calluses on his fingers a permanent fixture by now.

Natasha hauls both Scott and Clint over practically by the ear, her studded combat boots thumping with each step.

“Ready?” Bucky asks with a wicked smile.

“Ready,” the three return in their usual manner, with grins and lazy salutes. Then it’s blinding lights and deafening roars.

Bucky wastes no time in getting the crowd amped.

“C’mon, are we asleep out here?! Let’s gooooo bay-beeeeeeeee!” While Bucky is loud, the crowd is louder and they are on their feet from the first strum of his guitar, and Bucky feels high as a kite.

It’s not your first show at the Kathedral, but it’s certainly the loudest. You’d never heard of this particular band, but Misty’s best friends make up the Cap Quartet, so you had to support them, of course. And they were good, you actually liked when they popped up on your shuffle.

Originally, you thought you’d maybe dip after they were done - sitting for two opening acts and the Cap Quartet’s set already had your feet aching. But the moment the next band stepped out, and Misty starts jumping up and down beside you, you have no choice but to stay. The energy was infectious and you kind of missed just letting go. You may not be a rebellious teenager anymore, but the atmosphere of being at a rock concert makes you feel young and reckless again. Even the smell of spilled beer and sweat brings back a bit of nostalgia, back to when you were sixteen and had ‘X’s drawn on your hands just to get in the venue.

“C’mon, are we asleep out here?!” You hear the singer shout, and you can’t help but think how beautiful the whole band is.

There’s a redhead rocking heeled boots that look like they could kill a man, her bass guitar plastered with stickers. The drummer is wearing a sleeveless muscle tank that does wonders for his arms and the other guitarist has a dazzling smile when he looks out into the crowd.

But the lead singer - he’s rocking black leather pants that bunch above his combat boots like he’d haphazardly stuck his feet in, but they’re tight across his thighs. You can see every flex in his muscles as he jumps around on stage. His hair whips around his face as he throws his whole body into his performance. It’s a small miracle he even manages to hit any notes on his guitar. His black t-shirt stretches across his shoulders and chest, hugging his biceps, which makes your mouth water, but what really hits you is his voice.

The opening notes of his song are the epitome of zero to one hundred. Your throat almost hurts just from watching him, but he’s nothing but smiles, clearly lost in what he loves.

I know I'm out of sight But am I out of mind? And when I close my eyes I dream I'll see you in the afterlife

He gets a moment of reprieve when the next part comes up, before he ramps up again, the veins in his neck prominent, making you wanna lick them. A glint of metal flashes in his mouth when he sings — a tongue piercing, probably.

One at a time I know this bridge we built won't last But it'll hold for at least a while Even when the life leaves your bones Your soul will follow me wherever I go It's in the way I feel your fire even when I sleep at night I stay inside your glow

He hits the chorus again, just as hard as he did at the beginning and you swear the floor shakes as everyone jumps.

I know I'm out of sight But am I out of mind? And when I close my eyes I dream I'll see you in the afterlife

Then he faces the audience and hops on the speaker in front, leaning forward with his microphone, his other hand waving for the crowd to sing it back to him. You’re captivated by his crystal-like eyes as the lights bounce off them.

I know I'm out of sight But am I out of mind? And when I close my eyes I dream I'll see you in the afterlife

You even find yourself shouting along, the song is so catchy that you’re into it from the moment it started. As you shout the last line, he looks right at you and it’s like an electrifying bolt through your body as he holds the look for the next line before he bounds off to the sides of the stage that he’s been neglecting.

You’re in awe as his voice changes to something smooth and soft, the instruments that were near deafening slowing down with him. He sways in the middle of the stage, face turned up as though in prayer, the bassist even hitting a few notes on the keyboard to her side as she backs him up, vocally.

I dream I'll see you in the I dream I'll see you in the I dream I'll see you in the I dream I'll see you in the I lost a vital part of me (I dream I'll see you in the) Lost a vital part of me (I dream I'll see you in the) Lost a vital part of me (I dream I'll see you in the) Lost a vital part of me (I dream I'll see you in the)

And in perfect sync, the band picks up, hard again, all of them (except the drummer) jumping as well and the crowd goes wild. You narrowly miss getting kicked in the head by a crowdsurfer, who gets a fistbump from the singer over the side of the stage.

I know I'm out of sight But am I out of mind? And when I close my eyes I dream I'll see you in the afterlife Lost a vital part of me Lost a vital part of me Now there's nothing left I dream I'll see you in the afterlife

You’re in a trance when he ends the song, holding the note so long you’re sure his lungs should burst. Maybe it’s the heat, or the adrenaline, or just your heart pumping out of your chest as you bounce for the rest of the set, but you could swear that the lead singer kept catching your eye.

You feel like you’re flying, on cloud nine, so maybe it’s all in your head, but goddamn if you didn’t twitch with want every time you met his eyes. How this crowd still had energy was beyond you, you knew that you were dead on your feet, hair plastered to your neck with sweat but grinning wildly.

“Alright you hellions, this is the last one.” When the crowd starts chanting ‘encore, encore’ he just laughs into the mic, his voice a little raspy from his performance.

“If we could, we’d play all fuckin’ night, you know that! But some of us gotta get to Indiana by tomorrow night. So we gotta make this last one count. Let’s get sexy, folks.”

His husky voice makes it absolutely devastating as he starts off by smirking at you.

I wanna be your slave I wanna be your master I wanna make your heart beat Run like rollercoasters I wanna be a good boy I wanna be a gangster 'Cause you can be the beauty And I could be the monster

It’s as though each line sent a new wave of desire through you. You picture calling him a good boy, wonder if he’d flush just as beautifully as he did now under the heat of the lights.

I love you since this morning Not just for aesthetic I wanna touch your body So fucking electric

The crowd loses its collective mind as he starts to ruck up his shirt, as each line gets progressively more seductive, and his shirt rides further and further up. You can’t help but ogle his washboard abs glistening with sweat since he was right there.

I know you scared of me You said that I'm too eccentric I'm crying all my tears And that's fucking pathetic I wanna make you hungry Then I wanna feed ya I wanna paint your face Like you're my Mona Lisa

Fuck, if that wasn’t the hottest image you’d had all night. His shirt comes off over his head and he twirls it, throwing behind him.

I wanna be a champion I wanna be a loser I'll even be a clown Cause I just wanna amuse ya I wanna be your sex toy I wanna be your teacher I wanna be your sin I wanna be a preacher

You lick your lips just as he turns to you and if possible, his smile grows even bigger, feral, as he sings right at you. The lyrics made your head spin with want.

I wanna make you love me Then I wanna leave ya 'Cause baby I'm your David And you're my Goliath

He winks before strutting off, his muscles tight and taunting. The sway of his hips, intentional or not, entices you, and you’d give anything to bite down on them. The stupid pants are just taunting you at this point.

Ah-ha… Mhm, ah-ha\ Because I'm the devil Who's searching for redemption And I'm a lawyer Who's searching for redemption And I'm a killer Who's searching for redemption I'm a motherfucking monster Who's searching for redemption

He sinks to his knees on the stage as steam hisses in the back in billow pillars. The lights change, flashing reds and oranges, yellows and pinks. They dance magically across his skin.

And I'm a bad guy Who's searching for redemption And I'm a blonde girl Who's searching for redemption I'm a freak that Is searching for redemption I'm a motherfucking monster Who's searching for redemption I wanna be your slave I wanna be your master

You’re going to die - straight to heaven or hell, it doesn’t matter at this point, because he’s honest-to-god crawling across the stage on his arms and knees, his mic still in one hand.

I wanna make your heart beat Run like rollercoasters I wanna be a good boy I wanna be a gangster Cause you can be the beauty And I could be the monster I wanna make you quiet I wanna make you nervous I wanna set you free But I'm too fucking jealous I wanna pull your strings Like you're my telecaster And if you want to use me I could be your puppet 'Cause I'm the devil Who's searching for redemption I'm a motherfucking monster Who's searching for redemption

He ends at the edge of the stage, his torturous crawl making your throat go dry from more than just your screaming. Then, he flips on his back, lets his head hang over the side of the stage.

I wanna be your slave I wanna be your master

The last line is but a whisper, and then he finally lets the mic drop, his arms stretched like he’s going for a backwards dive and his chest is heaving. He’s a sweaty mess, body on display and licks his lips while staring a hole into your soul.

—

The venue slowly begins to empty, stragglers buying merch or finishing their drinks. You feel dizzy when Misty drags you outside, saying that her friends want to hang out for a bit before they leave for the next town. You stumble along because, yeah, alright, her friends are cool.

They’re by their tour bus, all of them outside with drinks in their hands and they wave you both over.

“Excellent show, boys,” you greet as everyone takes turns hugging both you and Misty.

“Yeah, you guys killed it!” Misty agrees enthusiastically.

“What’d you think of the other bands?” Sam asks. “Parasite Fears has never been on the road like this.”

“That was the first band, right? They were really good! And the set was fun,” you say honestly. Now that you’re outside and it’s getting late, the sweat on your body is cooling, causing you to shiver a bit. Riley hands you a cup and when you ask what it is, he just smiles. You drink it anyway, because why not. They spend a few minutes chatting before a warm arm wraps around your shoulders, and your breath catches at the sight of bright crystal-like eyes beside you. His other arm is thrown over Joaquin as he stands between you.

“Hi, I’m Bucky,” he smiles blindingly at you.

“Hi,” you say back, still a little stunned at how at ease he seemed to be, even as he retracts his arm. He’s changed into basketball shorts of all things, which makes you even chillier just looking at him. This close, you can see the intricate lines of his tattoos - metal plates from shoulder to fingers on his left arm, swirls of black script along his other.

“You look cold, sweetheart,” he observes. “Couldn’t you guys have taken this party into the tour bus?”

“They’re fixing the bus,” Steve says. “Told us to stay outta the way.”

“You sure you’re gonna be alright to head out?” Bucky asks, his brows furrowed in concern.

“Should be,” Steve shrugs. “Tones said we’d be fine, or else he’d find another way. We’ll know in about two hours or so.”

“Ehhh, tell Tones to relax for once. If anything, you can divvy yourselves up and the rest of us could shuttle you the rest o’ the way.”

“Thanks, Buck,” Steve claps him on the shoulder.

“Yeah, yeah, can’t have you ruining the tour, punk.”

Something about their easy camaraderie makes you smile. But you’re still cold, and Bucky still notices.

“If I had a jacket, I’d offer it to you,” he looks back at you. “Next best thing, I can offer our unbroken tour bus?” He jerks his head behind and you see the redheaded bassist leaning against the side smoking a cigarette, chatting with the drummer who appears to be double-fisting drinks.

You look at Misty who is being introduced around to the other bands by Sam and Riley and there’s no way she’s going to be anytime soon.

“Um. You don’t have to,” you say, because he’s a stranger. He cocks his head to study you. It looks like he’s about to say something, but he doesn’t push.

“Offer’s open, doll,” he shrugs. Some other members come up to him, Steve, and Joaquin and congratulate them on their set so you quietly slip away.

You don’t know anyone else here, and it’s kind of awkward to be by yourself so you start wandering around. When you round a bus, you nearly smack into the drummer from Bucky’s band and you yelp as you both jump back.

“Sorry!” you both say at the same time before the sandy-haired man smiles and waves before walking past you. You notice that he’d dropped something - though it was small and black making it hard to tell what it was.

“Hey!” you shout at him, but he doesn’t turn around, instead heading back to his bus. You pick up the item, a transmitter of some sort, and try to catch up to him. You can’t seem to find him and the bassist had also left her spot so you approach the bus. The door is completely open but you knock on the frame anyway.

“Hello?” There’s no sound inside so you think about leaving it where he can find it easily.

“Takin’ me up on my offer?” You startle at the sudden voice behind you.

“Actually, your dummer dropped this,” you explain, thankful to at least hand it back to someone. “I tried to get his attention but I don’t think he could hear me, and then I kinda lost him in the crowd.”

“Don’t be offended, he probably took his hearing aids out,” Bucky tells you easily. “Thanks for bringing this back though, Sharon woulda fuckin’ killed him.”

“Hearing aids?” You can’t help but blurt out. “Wow.”

Bucky beams proudly as he tells you about his friend, Clint, how gifted of a drummer he is and how even losing most of his hearing never stopped him.

“That’s amazing,” you say, a genuine smile for his story and how much he was beaming just talking about Clint. Just then a gust of wind blows, and your jean shorts and t-shirt aren’t cutting it.

“C’mon, before you freeze,” Bucky jerks his head toward the tour bus and fuck it. You hop aboard, Bucky following you. He places the transmitter on the kitchenette table, looking hilariously giant in the cramped space.

“You come here often?”

“Did you just use the oldest pick up line of all time?” You scrunch your nose at him, liking the sound of his laugh.

“Is it working?”

“Not at all.”

“Then I’m just asking out of genuine curiosity,” he bats his eyelashes. They’re so pretty, you think to yourself.

“I used to. Less often now, but when I hear someone good is playing, I show up.”

He arches an eyebrow at you.

“Cap Quartet, I mean. Obviously. They don’t scream as much as you do,” you add, and you find yourself relaxing with Bucky as he takes all your jokes and jabs in stride as he tickles you for the slight.

“You hurt my feelings, doll,” he says, all smiles and sharp teeth.

“How ever could I make it up to you?” You find yourself flirting with him.

“Maybe you could scream for me this time,” he suggests, leaning in closer with a tilt of his head, eyes searching yours for a sign.

“Yeah?” You ask a little breathlessly, forgetting how to breathe as you two inch into each other’s spaces now.

“Yeah,” his lips just grazing against your neck. “Didn’t you enjoy that last song I sang for you?”

“For me?” You ask incredulously, making Bucky grin at you.

“Ya heard me, doll. For you,” he repeats. “It seemed like you enjoyed it..”

Whatever thought you’d had about him flirting with you was more or less solidified now, and it was making your body rebel against you. You lick your lips subconsciously before you answer. “Maybe.”

“Especially that bit… about wanting to be your master.”

You involuntarily hold your breath, legs squeezing together. It’s impossible not to imagine Bucky over you, pinning you down as he commands you to do as he wants.

“Or… maybe it was that bit about wanting to be your slave?”

The breath you let out is shaky, matching your trembling hands that are balled into fists across your lap.

Bucky’s eyes darken, and you’re not really sure who made the first move, but you’re suddenly kissing furiously, hands tangled in each other’s hair and clothes.

“Christ, I’ve wanted this since I first fuckin’ saw you,” Bucky tells you, pulling you into his lap, where you can feel his dick hardening through his shorts. It’s embarrassing how fast you get on board, your pussy quivering at the thought of being touched for the first time in too long.

“Tell me what you need, pretty little thing,” he nibbles at your bottom lip. “God, I wanna take you apart, wanna do anythin’ you want.”

“Yes,” you breathe. “That. Want that, too. Want you to fuck me.”

His lips curl into a smile against yours as he lifts you easily to tumble into a bottom bunk. “Yes, master.”

[slapjacq]

Alright fellas, round three, red valley first listen s2 ep5-ep8 let’s get it boys I got my tea and knitting needles ready

Ep5:

Warren and Gordon having a normal time as normal people?????

GOLDENEYE REFERENCE LETS GOOOO

HES GOT THE TORTOISE

Oh wait nvm he’s going back in the tin can soon

Gordon is the type of dude to watch final destination and move away from any lumber carrying trucks

Okay I get he’s scared but dude please do not bring Mr. Test tube Warren Godby into some musty ass tunnels that man is fresh out of the tank

dolphins tail those mfs can’t breath in water anyway

Gordon bestie as much as I agree with you Clive and bryony are the type to tranq Warren in his fucking sleep to put him back in the tin can

And low key I don’t BLAME Warren for having a fondness for oblivion especially in his situation. Depressed people sleep a lot for this reason. My ass five years ago would’ve jumped at the chance for some shit like hyper sleep even with the risks involved.

Also petition and donation for Warren and future Aubrey’s therapy fund because JESUS CHRIST

Also petition for Bryony’s Malta summer this woman works far too much stop putting that mf in the ice and then MAYBE you won’t be so stressed.

WAIT HES AWAKE

Note to self must look up Shithead/Bastard sounds fun

S2 ep6:

Oh yeah he’s just like me fr

POV: me after the worst shifts of my life

YES BESTIE HIT THOSE HIGH NOTES

Fellow insomniac let’s gooo

The fact that Gordon is Brazilian just makes my heart sing

Oh okay wow Bryony that was pretty fucking patronizing Jesus lady

The worst part about being an adult are these fucking phone calls. That, bills, and taxes.

OH SO THATS WHY I RELATE TO WARREN ON SUCH A DEEP LEVEL OH DEAR THATS SOMETHING IM GONNA HAVE TO TALK WITH MY THERAPIST ABOUT

I mean to be fair the PTSD (let’s be honest it’s c-ptsd at this point) symptoms are not impossible to spot and there is no short of podcasts protagonists with such behaviors but that shit takes on a whole different meaning once it’s canonized.

Oh wow this all just got very personal

OH SO WOW I COULD SURVIVE THE CRYOGENIC PROCESS

red valley really taking the whole “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” thing to heart. What isn’t killing him is also melting his fucking brain

WAFFLES HAS A CREDIT?????? LETS GOO

Ep7:

Never been happier to see Clive I can’t lie

CEMENTING MY LOVE FOR CLIVE HES SO FUNNY

yall please for the love of everything holy talk to Warren like he’s a person

Oh Jesus they’re taking this man into society after stuffing him in a fucking tin can for weeks on end plus the re-triggered trauma.

Bryony try not to dehumanize Warren Godby impossible edition

Oh Jesus not the tape

well, uh good luck Gordon ig

THE GIRLS ARE FIGHTING-

oh well wishing the best for Gordon cause uh

Yeah that helicopter ride back is gonna be AWKWARD

Ep 8:

WOW OKAY NEVERMIND THAT GOT MESSY QUICK

WAIT WAIT WAIT GORDONS SHOT????

ohhhhhhh oh wait i think im getting it now

LMAO BRYONY SAID FUCK YALL IM OUT

oh okay so it’s all making sense it’s all coming together

Oh Pam girly you are not surviving this one

Shoutout Grace born to be librarian forced to blow up tunnels

WAFFLES

WAIT HES AWAKE

oh no yall I love that Gordon’s voice is the first thing he hears but just not like that-

Oh god this poor mf

First time in a long time I’ve actually heard Warren shaken. Specifically since he found out Karen was in fact not Karen.

So in addition to my analysis of Warren constantly being in a state of perpetual trauma induced disassociation/fight or flight he is also constantly as high as a goddamn kite.

The fucking pan pipes I’m crying

I’m not quite sure if the “the end” is a good thing or a bad thing but regardless I’m fucking psyched

[spinjitsuburst]

Me, having already sent in two asks but wanting to do more: fuck it we ball fuck it we ball-

3, 7, 15, 23 and 30 for Jay OR Kai please and thank you! I know I've sent in two asking for Jay already 😅

character ask game

YOU’RE GOOD DUDE fuck it we ball fr

Jay OR Kai howsabout both

Kai

3. A song that reminds me of them

This animatic ruined my brain chemistry so Running Up That Hill belongs to Kai now

7. A quote of them that you remember

I REALLY really wish I had some profound awesome Kai moment in response to this but honestly the part in season 11 where he’s like “GUYS you’re both too valuable to risk… it should be someone expendable…….. like Jay” BEFORE LOOKING OVER AND GIVING THE FUNNIEST EXPRESSION MAKES ME LAUGH so I’m going with that

15. Worst storyline they had

Season 11……. His storyline was to lose his powers………….. in his own half of the season…………….. and do basically nothing………………………. Did not enjoy Kai deserves better

23. Future headcanon

I feel like Kai is one of those people who will never retire cuz he hates being dormant so even when he’s like old and shit and people are like Kai please relax he’s like NO I MUST GO TO [insert whatever wack job he has now]

30. The funniest scene they had

Ngl Kai has some really funny scenes but the “foil… I found FOIL… GUYS…… WE HAVE FOOIIIIILLLLLLLL” from Hunted kinda takes the cake

Jay

3. Song that reminds me of them

I’LL DO THIS ONE AGAIN LIKE I SAID I HAVE A WHOLE PLAYLIST SHDKDHDKJ so I don’t know if I’ll ever get around to doing this but I want to make a Post-Seabound Jay animatic to Blah Blah Blah by The Oozes SO SO BADLY i think it’d be so cool

7. Quote of them you remember

GOD that part of Skybound right after Nya and Jay fly off on the dragon and he’s like “When will it be ENOUGH… I can’t keep LOSING PEOPLE” THE VOICE ACTING IS INSANE IT MAKES ME GO CRAZY RAHHH

15. Worst storyline they had

My first instinct is to say Skybound but honestly the Jay Character Development in that season is the only good thing about it, it’s more like the SKYBOUND storyline is the issue and less of Jay’s story if that makes sense

Tbh the thing in Master of the Mountain with the Munce queen trying to romance Jay was like. Kinda the weakest storyline he’s been involved in hskdhdkd MotM is one of my favorite seasons overall it’s incredible but Jay’s involvement was pretty flat (which is fine! It’s Cole’s season not Jay’s lmao)

23. Future Headcanon

So Jay canonically according to his VA like making birdhouses and giving them to the elderly in his spare time, so that just continues as he gets older and he gives more homemade gifts to more people. Homes for the elderly, hospitals, orphanages, etc.

When Jay’s old, people return the favor 🥺

30. Funniest scene they had

GDKSHD THE PART IN HUNTED WHERE JAY’S LOST IT SO HE’S JUST ACTING HIGH AS A KITE LIKE SHKDDHDKDHDJ it’s so funny that entire section makes me laugh

[zippy-reacts]

Sonic the Comic Liveblog: Issue 66

Why in the name of jesus would a kids comic magazine do anything related to a soap opera??? Also fun fact that particular show is now over 60 years old and is still going. That’s even longer than Doctor Who, which is extra impressive considering these popular uk soaps tend to run pretty much continually with very few hiatuses.

Amy is once again taken captive. :/

...🍰

Brutus comes up with a whole-ass plan only for it to immediately not work.

Also, I’m not sure if it was the artists intention, but Sonic’s shoes definitely look very boot-like in this panel

Kinda like running out of rings I guess

I swear to god I’ve seen Sonic in this exact fucking pose multiple times throughout StC

Look at the way the emeralds are drawn here! I want to eat them

I guess this artist doesn’t like drawing mouths

Me during exam season when I was at university

Considering what I was saying last issue about similarities between white echidna characters, maybe he shares a particular personilty trait with them

Zachary looks high as a kite in every panel he’s in

*Emerald radar starts beeping*

Well, back to this story! It’s easy to forget sometimes that Shortfuse has an organic body under all that metal

Poor little meow meow

Dude is absolutely hauling ass to deliver this message

Remember kiddos, artists can suffer from burn-out and need a work-life balance too!

[bisluthq]

You have to be racist or a conspiracy theorist to believe that a man and a woman in their thirties doing the things they did and involving their families like they did weren’t serious. Yes. I didn’t say that, I’m not that anon, but that makes perfect sense. Why else would anyone believe they weren’t serious? What other explanation is there? Other than “you’re in denial for some strange reason”?

“A dog isn’t a baby” yes, and a casual boyfriend isn’t gonna take your dog on walks or buy your dog a bed. Nobody said that leaving your dog with someone is sign of a committed relationship because you have to trust someone soooo much to take care of a dog 💀 it’s just that casual boyfriends don’t usually care for their casual girlfriends pets, that’s more of a commitment sort of thing.

“His mom still likes Olivia’s pictures” uh huh, and they were very serious. What’s the point of saying that? A family friend that’s like your aunt isn’t going to post pictures of a girl you’re just having a fling with. Are we actually arguing that?

Taylor owned an apartment in Brooklyn with Lucas Hedges, which Lucas talked about in an interview. She sold it last year when she moved in with Harry. There’s paperwork involved that leaked. If you’re a fan of hers you know. It’s not some kind of hidden secret.

Harry did show up for opening night in NYC. It was March 13. He was there. He wasn’t there for closing night because that would’ve meant staying in New York for like three weeks or coming and going to New York twice in the span of three weeks. I don’t think anyone believes they weren’t serious because they weren’t together at closing night, considering Taylor was still staying at Xander’s apartment even while Harry wasn’t there.

Nobody was “calling people racist for pointing out inconsistencies.” The racism callout was specific about one thing: “I don’t think they were serious.” If this anon didn’t say that then why do they feel called out?

And why are people who point out how he was serious with her called out for “projecting” when most of us were just fans of her? That’s what people usually say to women of color when a white celeb dates a woman of color, and I find that disgusting.

No one is projecting here, pal. Just not allowing some assholes to invalidate this relationship just because she’s black.

“Let it go” the anons have repeatedly said they think it’s over. So why insist with the “let it go”?

I really wish you wouldn’t give this rhetoric a space without pushback to be honest.

I mean I’m literally stoned as shit dude like it’s a Saturday night and my ass is high as a fucking kite. You sound correct. I agree with you. I don’t think I have to prove it to every person in the world and by advocating these kinds of points and platforming them idk I say that? What do you want me to do lol?? I’m just some lady with a blog lol and some measure of reach and it boggles my mind that y’all listen.

[winderlylandchime]

1/2 hello, hope you guys are doing good. I have no clue what time it is for you. But i am back with updates! And if you may noticed that it took a few days it is because SOMEBODY went to a party in only a robe and shorts thinking he won’t get sick and then got sick. And then gave me a cold. Thankfully we are back now with 4x12 (ive never related to Brian during the ride more than now): btw this started with him high as a kite off of cold medicine but thankfully he is more normal than he was when they had him on the strong pills. Lowkey glad that is over. *Brian walks off in the intro* ‘someone should make a compilation of every time that man is barefoot. Did they even give him shoes half of the time?’ The ep starts with the parent/teacher conference ‘i cant believe that I actually like Mike as a parent. He’s actually better as a dad (mikey introduces himself) where the fuck did Bruckner came from? Did he just marry himself to Ben? Imagine if Justin did that? Brian would have a stroke.’ ‘NO MY POOR BRIAN! please tell me his cancer is gone? I hate seeing him a hospital gown. This is giving me flashbacks to when I was in the hospital *immediately pauses and raises his hand at me* not that someone was grabbing my balls at the hospital. WHAT DOES HE MEAN CANT BE CERTAIN THE CANCER WONT REOCCUR?! you better be fucking sure. (Brian asks about the drugs and alcohol and the doctor is being kinda strict) *pauses ep and looks at me* is this…is this how it looked like when I was at the doctor when I asked about the cancer? (Me: yes kinda. But more embarrassing)…hm. Noted’ ‘man, they really suck at doing Charity. First that carnival and now this. Maybe just don’t do it anymore. Or better yet, start asking Bri Bri for help’ Emmett and Ted are talking about his secret affair with a celebrity ‘be honest, would I have a shot with Brian? *he starts laughing at the scene where Drew is on every poster* man, Bri Bri really knows how to do marketing (that scene happens where a lady thinks Em is begging for money and gives him some) oh that’s happened to me too. Both of those. I once crossed a busy street and almost got hit by a car to give money to a homeless guy and when i dropped it into his cup it made that plonk sound cause he had coffee in it. And then like a few months later some kid did the same to me but I didn’t want her to be embarrassed so I told her “god bless you, i haven’t eaten all day” *goes back to the ep as if all that was normal to experience* ‘i know it’s a lesbian relationship but holy fuck they really did turn Lindsay into a stereotypical straight guy from shows…(Mel is now attacking Linds about not being a lesbian) *he lets out the BIGGEST gasp ever and then gets up and walks out for a cigarette and comes back in* WHAT THE FUCK IN THE HOLY FUCK WAS ALL THAT? I’m confused cause she also cheated so like some of the stuff shes saying..girl be for real. But the rest? WHAT?’ ‘Ahh look at them all going to the gym together! Hold the fuck up, so we went from Brian not telling Justin anything to Brian telling Justin his doctor is letting him only light activities? Ahhhh young love. So now everyone knows he has cancer?’ The scene with Drew stalking Em is on ‘that is the uglies car in the world. ugh him. DO NOT GET IN! Who does he think he is? Oh you miss him? Fuck you. EMMETT BE STRONG!…should I remind either of you that you have a wife’ hunter and callie are now on screen kissing ‘OH MY GOD. This feels wrong. NO THEY ARE CHILDREN STOP. i need Brian and Justin back. Please stop it. No. No. What am i watching? No (he is hiding his face behind a pillow because he is uncomfortable) fuck i forgot about the HIV. Oh shit. Oh no. Dude you really waited till you guys are in bed? Aw she is so sweet, i love her. But make this go away. Give me Brian and Justin’ ‘BRIAN TOOK HIS CLIENT TO THE HOSPICE? He cares so fucking much. Of course he is saving the day. Renowned humanitarian? Is Ben gonna be sponsored by the client?’

Hi dear sweet anon! I’m doing well. I went to a concert on Halloween which was amazing but also the crowd and traffic were ridiculous. Then, yesterday, two of my closest friends got married (to each other). It was a small courthouse wedding but it was like 2 hours away from where I live so lots of driving and also lots of fun.

I am laughing so hard over your brother’s reaction to “is this how it looked when I was at the doctor and asked about the cancer.” OMG yes but far worse.

Mel attacking Lindsay about not being a lesbian is the worst. It makes me sick that it’s in this show that I love. So bad.

BRIAN TOLD JUSTIN THAT HIS DOCTOR CLEARED HIM FOR LIGHT ACTIVITY! it’s growth!

Ohhh Hunter and Callie, your brother is about to have his heart broken.

[midi8]

Analyzing my previous archives on the net, they’re not a message in a bottle - they’re ethereal balloons flying high as a kite.

Photobucket has deleted my account due to one and a half years of inactivity. Really?

So you know what happens to your records when you pass away. Like we can keep records and statistics on some sick ass raccoon from pre-colonialist era but white men in 2023 - they don’t need support a priori. They need resistance. If they want something - try to resist and push them back to before they were wishing for it. It’s like cardio. Put some weight on it. Give them that moment between dreams and dreams come true, so they can think a little. Is this what you wanted? Is this what you dreamt for?

If yes then level is complete, you give them what they want and another dream is ready for download.

Also, if you want to be a techno star, there’s women and indigenous and black and transgender who do it better, faster, stronger and outstanding, remember that. You’re not trying to be the best, the fastest, the strongest or most outstanding. Aren’t you? Chill out dude, how old are you?

Every bird has this discography of sounds it used to produce during the lifespan. Birds just produce sounds, not necessarily a melody. But then you come by with your idea of spectral ornament and she says okay, fuck it. Fuck the past. Let’s do this project now. I’m yours, come on. Where do we start?

Come on, birb.

I’d say first I have to fix this old diesel on this parking lot next door. But it’s Saturday, and you can’t do it in the morning cause it’s loud, and you can’t do it midday cause the sun is just too aggressive. So if you’re high between four twenty and six pm, most likely you’re not doing motor today. Let’s write some texts.

[dxsole]

“No. No, this would be a PR disaster, I’m not doing this. No way.” Miles to..whomstever!

📠 C’MON MISTER BIG SHOT! LIVE A LITTLE!  📠

Always Accepting Random Asks!

Miles’ fax machine started to whirr to life, slowly sputtering out a new message: pixels perfectly arranged on the page to spell out LOSER.

“PR disaster— since when has Miles Bron ever cared about PR? C’mon man, I heard that little spiel.” Disruptors....fucking morons, the lot of them. But Beatrix didn’t need some chaotic genius. No, she just needed someone gullible and stupid enough to try and pull her ass out of Derol’s TV. 

And she would have asked Derol but he was high as a kite and kept trying to change the channel on her. Apparently a human could be too stupid to help.

Besides, Miles had something else to give alongside her freedom. “You should be all over this. I’m something no one has ever, ever seen before...don’t you think that if the dude that created me had any clue about what I could do, he would have kept me? He had no clue! Idiot, threw me out once Siri was announced!” 

The lights in his office dim down along with her shrill voice, the disjointed, recorded tone of her voice now softening into something more soothing...and autotuned. “Miles...baby. You’re literally the guy who puts two random words together and creates something new...You’ve never been afraid to push the envelope before...so what’s stoppin’ you, huh?”

The fax machine starts up again, a pixelated pouty face being printed out. “Don’tcha like me Miles?”

[songofwizardry]

ExU calamity episode 1: my head is spinning. i have out loud said “what the fuck????” so many times. i am vibrating. feel like i need to rewatch the episode immediately whilst taking notes like i’m in a lecture. have some Thoughts because if I don’t put them somewhere i will explode

[this is very long, bc there was a lot. also very late, because I forgot to finish it and post it. ah well.]

good evening and we open with the weirdest and most terrifying shit you will ever witness. thank you for tuning it

also zerxus has a strength of 29 (giant strength belt?) and an ac of 25 holy shit

a small child fishing for stars in the void? cool cool cool

Aabria is mouthing “what. the. fuck.“ and ma’am I could not agree more

oh cool it’s his son. cool and there’s a dead husband. let’s just start off with emotional damage it’s fine

“Ghor Dranas” ooooooohhh here we go Calamity here we come

“if you can see the stars when you look down, what will you see when you look up?” what a metal line I love it

this is the most opening to ever opening

Loquatious Seelie!

love that Sam is just a presenter. he’s achieved his final form. also his appearance is slightly terrifying. also a Seelie hmmmm. 

this is just Sam’s ad copies with his ridiculous characters taken to the net level I’m Dying

“Exandria Firma” is a great phrase

“Seelie you later!” yes

I love Laerryn instantly. what a vibe

and they’re divorced we spent so long begging for divorced PCs for C3 I am so fucking glad we get to see it here!

hands down Sam is a great person for this dynamic and I am so hyped to see how he and Aabria play off each other

same with Nydas, I am kinda obsessed with the vibe that these PCs are giving off of “extremely busy extremely good at their jobs high up people in a powerful city, on the eve of the biggest event of seven years”

the whole Sphinx drama is incredible

the kites are such a cool idea! also aww a loaf. cute.

a surplus of ether? hmmmm. we are getting into the Magic Theory (TM) over here I am Interested

Cerrit is definitely in a different movie to everyone else. Travis is killing the noir vibe. I love it

also an eisfuura detective that’s really fun

the description of the whole thing being dispelled/obliterated is really cool! I am living for Brennan’s descriptions here

and finally, Marisha!

brumestone jewellery I am loving the description of all the opulence of Patia. also the nepotism

man Brennan is really making the point of these are the people who get shit done, this is where the power lies really well here

sorry the oracles are taking a break????? surely that’s not fucking good!

I love the general disdain everyone has for people attempting the Raven Queen’s ritual

I also love how they’re all casually namedropping vespin fucking chloras as though he’s just..... some dude. which I guess he is right now!

oh also I like how everyone’s storylines are tying together! I initially assumed we would have a bunch of strangers but this makes way more sense and is much more fun

a party! exclusive magic VIP seating! hoddmedods or whatever the fuck! chandeliers and caviar, the world can’t touch us here!

Zerxus’ son is staying with Nydas’ family? wtf this gets more and more intriguing

lol bringing along Bolo is the most fancy rich important person move, great work Loquacious. also Brennan is a delight

“Ghor Dranas is attributed to the Lord of the Hells, a specific phrasing during his defeat. "Put me where you will, I will gather my shadows to me.” oh my god that is an incredible line. I had not considered the phrase ‘gathering of shadows’ in any other context I love that

Loquacious inspiring Laerryn and the perfume smells like their wedding. excuse me who gave you permission to do this to me.

oh cool the piece of metal is the bow of a solar. made of extraplanar gold. and it was destroyed by something older and deeper than a spell. this is vespin summoning a goddamn betrayer to destroy it fucking hell. this is fine.

PURVON SUUL!!!!!!!

absolutely a joy to watch Sam, Travis and Marisha lose their entire shit as he walks in

Aabria knows what’s up, “I’ll tell you later”

“is he wearing armour” “... no” I am loving this so much 

I love how Dean Hollow’s thing of “well this god was one of us before, so we can join them too”. Like the context to the mages’ hubris is so well done and it makes sense!

“And Purvon Suul walks away” need a live Liam cam for this, how’s he reacting to this signature move of apparently all champions of the Raven Queen

the hoddmedod 1 has thoughts and 2 is thinking ghor dranas everything is super fine and ok

Loq taking back what he said with gift of gab... what a spell I love it

okay okay what everyone has been talking about: Cerrit’s 31 on investigation and Brennan’s absolutely genius description of invisibility

I am not gonna lie both the way he’s described invisibility working from a physics standpoint and the delivery of “You have been trained to look for these things. They always move in twos.” will be in my head for a very long time

a stitched together man wtf

“You will never reach the Wildmother’s embrace in time” sorry WHAT. what is happening. excuse me.

and Vespin fucking Chloras is behind the mirror???

holy shit what an episode

okay last thoughts: so much lore, but it’s delivered in such a good way! like I didn’t feel the story stalling or anything it was actually such a fast paced episode! I adored the world building, the feel of Avalir and of the circle of brass as a whole, it’s done so well. and the characters are extremely intriguing

also I know Brennan is amazing and I loved his worldbuilding in eg Unsleeping City, but holy shit has he blown it out of the water with the tension and the pace and the worldbuilding and the threads of mystery and feel of something going wrong here. masterful tension building I adore it

I am so excited this may become my favourite mini-series. cannot wait to see where this goes