#I’m going to try to draw more this year and it will probably mainly be faustus tbh

[bloop-bl00p]

In defense of Octavia

TW: Lots of Trauma Dumping, Mention of abuse

She’s been wronged way too many times in this fandom for some reason. Look at her vibing, how can you hate her?

I’m a fan of Helluva Boss, mainly because of its potential but the quality dropped dead in the second season. We’re gonna talk about a character I’ve seen other fans misinterpreting in favor of the so-great Prince Stolass.

I want to talk about her mainly because I do what I want and because after studying her character I just realized that she’s just like me. Especially regarding her relationship with her father, I see myself in my younger years.

All of that to say…

She has all the right to feel abandoned.

Octavia obliviously has a stronger bond with her father, it shows in her behavior and little background details

When she wants to draw her family, she draws her and Stolas, we mostly see her being happy with him which leads me to think that she’s emotionally neglected by Stella. To her, Octavia is just an ‘egg’ that fell off her and she doesn't care about the impact killing Stolas could have on her daughter.

Despite being emotionally absent, Stella has a much more physical presence than Stolas. Most of the time Stolas is alone in his castle which leads me to think that Octavia is somewhere else with Stella. They did mention the two went on a weekend somewhere. This leads us to this question…

How can Octavia feel more close to her father?

Here’s the thing, I see a lot of my family dynamic here. My mom doesn’t pay attention to me at all, she doesn't want me to bother her and she makes it clear. My dad, however, who’s absent like 90% of the time, always tried to spare time with me. He explained to me that he was working and why he was doing all of this (I was like barely ten) but it never prevented him from trying to play with me, sharing his hobbies, going on a walk, and else.

He was there emotionally and, as a kid who was bullied, had no friends at all, and a mother who didn't give a damn, I cherished this relationship.

I believe the exact same thing happened with Octavia, we never see her with friends or even outside the castle, she’s isolated. Stolas has Prince duties, we’ve seen him carry them in the shows, hence why he’s mostly absent leaving her with her mother. But, at least when she was a kid, he tried to do stuff bringing her to Loo-Loo Land or being the one to comfort her. That is why she clings to her father, he’s the only one who actually shows her love and she’s terrified of losing that.

Regarding her mother, Stella obliviously doesn't care about her so the feeling is reciprocated. From a narrative standpoint, Stella is an unpredictable force of nature getting angry for pretty much anything that doesn't go her way. So Octativa learned to not cross her mother's path.

I know this expression, this is the “Oh fuck… they’re at it again?” she’s used to her mother's constant screaming, she's used to her parents fighting.

She did say they were a time when a parent didn't hate each other, which to me refers to the time when Stolas tanked Stella’s abuse. But, that doesn’t mean that Stella wasn't abusing him in front of a younger Octavia, she’s erratic and they did imply that she can get physical in her toxic behavior. Since Stella was passive, it was probably mostly harmful comments.

Putting personal things here, my mom was also very abusive to my older sibling. Since I was extremely young I learned not to ‘be a burden’ to avoid being abused as well, which includes things like not talking to her unless she does it first. Whether Octavia is aware of the physical abuse or not, she must know enough to know that it’s a bad idea to annoy Stella.

This is the only picture where we see her seemingly having a good relationship with Stolas, which to me feels like she’s faking it considering all we know about the family.

She has a pretty shitty household but her relationship with her father make it bearable until Stolas did a 180°

He randomly started to prioritize Blitz and don’t spill me the bullshit of ‘he’s trying’ he stopped trying long ago.

Let’s analyze this episode by episode:

In Loo Loo Land, Stolas seemingly tries to rebuild a visibly strained relationship with his daughter by bringing her to a park she liked when she was a kid. To this, she immediately responds with an “I’m not 5 anymore.” and an “I rather kill myself.” There’s no room for miscommunication, she doesn't want to go there, and she won’t enjoy it as much as she did back then. Still, he decides to go there, showing that he doesn't listen, and, he brings the one the thing that is currently ruining his already horrible marriage because of his own actions. Blitzø.

He’s trying to spend time with his daughter after a long time (this is mentioned in the episode) and he decides to bring in that one guy he’s hooking up with to deliberately make sexual remarks about him in front of her.

She’s uncomfortable the whole time, not just because she allegedly doesn’t like listening to her father's comments but because she doesn't like the park. She said it, yet Stolas doesn't acknowledge it, he doesn't realize the faces she makes which are to me pretty communicative of her annoyance and discomfort.

This is not even subtle body language, yet he only notices it when she runs off. The worst part is that he still finds a way to think about Blitzø when his daughter leaves.

He looked upset that Blitzø didn't follow him! Did he expect that guy to pursue him constantly? He was in the middle of an argument with his daughter, I personally would have stepped away to give them space to talk and reconcile. But no, apparently Blitzø should be at his beck and call all the time.

But you know what, after all of this. He still apologized. That absolutely does not negate everything he did during the day but, at the end of it, he finally listened to her and even brought her to a place she actually wanted to be. Which is good, he acknowledged her discomfort and did something she liked.

Until Seeing Star.

Look I know Stolas was busy with Stella but he clearly doesn't care about her and her stuff.

Don’t tell me he couldn’t pinpoint Stella’s location with magic and teleport all of her belongings to her. Their discussion was barely about the furniture, he could have said that they were gonna be delivered and hung up the second he saw Octavia. Arguing with Stella is pointless, he’s the number one guy that should know that! Why does he continue to insult her, he’s just fuelling the fire!

Moving out her belongings would have been 10 times faster if he just hung up the phone, then he could have had a more mindful talk with Octavia without the constant bickering of his ex-wife.

But he didn't for some reason, fair enough, I guess. The writers do whatever they want. Anyway, Octavia got angry and ran to go see the stars on her own.

So, Stolas’ castle is in Pride but my point still stands, Octavia had the time to run from home and make the way all from her father's place to the city, find the specific building Blitzø held his organization in and Stolas didn't notice a thing.

You cannot tell me Stella managed to get his attention for that long AND you cannot tell me that his castle is close to the shitty disaffected building and the populace. His daughter ran off and he did not notice a thing.

Not only that but he has the nerve of blaming Blitzø for not watching the book. Like, dude! You should have watched your daughter instead!

Then he spills out more bullshit.

I don’t know Stolas, how could you possibly find her when you were shown to have countless abilities to do so?

Like bubbles projecting the image and locations of people.

Or that on time when you possessed corpses and one woman just to go full eldritch monstrosity just for one that one guy you’re cheating your wife with. And don’t whine about “They don’t love each other.” it’s still affecting his family, mainly his daughter so it’s still bad.

Of course, you do all of that without your grimoire without any problem, brushing it off with a…

I guess he forgot his ‘ways’ when it came to Octavia. But honestly, Loona literally found her easily just by looking at her Instagram account, couldn't he just call her or something? The girl had her phone the whole time and he didn't just think of calling her.

Me when I forget that I have teleportation power when I am in an enclosed space with nobody is looking.

You’re certainly not worrying right now. Via literally told him to his face that she was scared and he kept flirting with him even though he once again caused her to run away because of his neglect.

He’s not trying his best, THIS IS NOT TRYING!

No Loona, his daughter communicated very clearly issues related to their relationship, rather than reassuring her and being there for her as much as it’s realistically possible (he still has duties to carry), he gets in an avoidable petty fight with his ex and keeps an unhealthy dynamics with an imp he's been obsessing over. He doesn't focus, his priorities aren’t straight, and now Octavia feels abandoned.

I did mention that I had a good relationship with my father back then, but it stopped abruptly. His focus changed and he went out with friends after work and gradually stopped spending time with me. Until we never spent time together again, (to give you an idea the only moment where I could see him was in the morning for breakfast) now that can sound silly but I was a child, with no friends and a neglectful mom, losing the only good thing I had in life broke me. I knew his schedule, I knew he was spending time with work buddies and that just stung my self-esteem even more leaving me feeling like a burden when I was just a kid who wanted to feel love.

This is why I don’t like the “He’s trying.” I know what a trying struggling parent looks like and I know what happens when they stop. If you keep trying to do something and you’re constantly failing, either your technique isn’t the right one or you’re not and you’re convincing yourself you are.

And then there are people that’ll tell me that “He lived through the abuse of Stella for years for her.”

If you read all of this then I don’t feel like I need to explain how Octavia was at least partially exposed to Stella's toxic behavior and was affected by it.

For those who don’t know how it feels to live with an erratic mood-swinging person, it’s pure constant stress. You have to think constantly before you talk or move because you know that if you fuck up you’re gonna pay the price. And if you still eventually mess up you can never know with these types of people! You can’t defend yourself because the punishment will be far worse. You are ALWAYS in the wrong.

So he lived through the abuse of Stella just so his daughter could get neglected and abused in a less physical way?

The difference between my parents and Octavia is that they love each other. Stolas doesn't give a damn about Stella, he did say he was nice at first because he empathized with her they were in this shitty situation together, and fine, it's reasonable. But she never changed! Stella stayed the same! Why didn’t he leave her when he stopped carrying about her?! There’s no trauma bounding, Stella isn’t guilt-tripping or manipulating him, they got the child he could have divorced her easily without consequences! If anything, she’s the losing part of this divorce she’s lower in the hierarchy! “Andreaphul will get angry.” HE’S A MARQUIS! Hierarchically speaking Stolas is far more important and he mopes the floor with his peacock ass!

Am I supposed to be empathetic with that one dude who willingly let his daughter grow up in a hyper-toxic environment with an emotionally neglectful and unpredictable wife?! Am I supposed to believe he cares when he kept sleeping in his house in his bed with the same guy his daughter clearly is worried he’s going to leave her with?! Really?!

Don’t ever tell me that this is trying.

[neo91502]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TOMM TIREDSMASHBROS!!!

note for tomm under the read more... lalala💥💥 @tiredsmashbros

ohhh tomm. tomm tiredmashbros, oh do you even know what has happened this, what, past half a year and counting? There has been so, so much improvement these past few months, whether that was to be art or even being able to grow the confidence to actually make a discord server and how well it is and how active it is to this day!!! It’s genuinely felt like it’s been so long, but truly only has been maybe about. since september so like 4 months maybe of the discord server? and so much has happened since then.

Onto the actual much deeper depths of paragraphs, you genuinely have changed my life in ways that I don’t think I could even achieve. Many days on vc’s, joking about the most random things, to the (about) most unexpected things, late night vc’s, the silly sleepover vc’s (technically late night... but shhhh), your paragraphs here, your just genuinely amazing self and personality. Even if you’re just another person in this world, I think you’re some of the best among everyone that I could’ve had the pleasure of getting to meet and know you.

I always loved the times when we vced and went “hey it’d be funny if we watched this video” then did that or, mainly, plan ahead and all. The pikmin iceberg (even if i fell asleep. whoops.), isaacwhy ltlvc, epic the musical, and so much more probably HSJDNSJ. I’ll always remember the first vc I was in with you, or at least the one that I think is the first since I think we both were muted then eventually unmuted JSIDJSSJ I still don’t remember who was all there... i think it’s really funny that like 1-2 months after that, we vced so much and literally couldn’t remember who was there in the first vc JSAKJSKDJD i think that vc was when we had that silly “IM NOT A TYPER” or something i think... I DONT HAVE THE ORIGINAL IMAGE SAVED RN JAHDJDSJ 💔💔💔 and i sounded in such despair because it was like 1 or 2 am for me and i had to be quiet... I always absolutely LOVE our vc’s together, even if i’m caught, i typically don’t actually feel that bad since it’s just like. augh. i have no idea how to explain it💔💔 but yeah 💥💥💥 —> EDIT HERE... LTIERALLY TALKING TO YOU IN DMS AND YOU LITERALY HAVE JT ON HAND. THE IM NOT A TYPER. BROOOOO IM GONNA GET YOU

The surprise you gave me for my birthday and the fact that you did an entire PARTY IN THE SERVER ???? dude i was genuinely so gobsmacked, even if i was late to it NSKDNSKAJA... there was so much going on, i’ll be so fr i literally can barely remember it other than you asking my favroite scene and saying flowerfield sunset and then some bit later you surprised me with the fanart of neo like GUH?????? oh my GOS AJAJSNSNbut even just the MERE IDEA of having a birthday party and the fact that you wanted to do one for me was so surprising and i’m so genuinely hyped for yours like GUH. I’m so HSJSNSJSJSKSKNDJD

as you already know, the drawing above took about 12 hours and 30 minutes to fully finish. honestly, to my first fanart of tsb to this one is just amazing and i wouldn’t be able to see such improvement if it weren’t for you, for your amazing lore of tsb (i will yap about this later...), stealing some of your silly techniques here and there, and so much more. i’m just. baffled at the thought of being here with your birthday today.

oh and your ART. oh my GOODNESS. Where do i even START. for one, i know for a FACT i have stolen silly little things out of your style because of how unique and silly it is and how i do this with all of my friends because i genuinely appreciate and love everything that everyone makes,,, i especially LOVE, oh my goodness do i LOVE how you do your coloring and shading. it’s so unique in a way that works so damn well with how you do your lines, whether it’s sketchy or not, the outlines, everything bro. the rendering gets me the most. you WITNESSED me STRUGGLE to recreate it because i really wanted to try out and do a piece more in your style of things!! i do want to say it had been actually so fun doijg that... i should do it again lalalala... BUT ANYWASY!!!!! i’ve always just. oh my god. LOVE and just BUSHSURHEJSNA i just love how do you comics bro,.... no matter if they’re the ones like your final or the ones like the memories tsb lore... and especially the SPEED YOU GET THESE DONE AT ???? BRO IM SO JEALOUS IN THE BEST WAY POSSINLE... i don’t think i’ll ever stop looking up to you bro...

and now the lore. oh my Lore. Lore lore lore lore . im gonna gET YOUUUUUUU. i’m so INVESTED in tsb’s lore... the creation of this whole universe with cartoony characteristics (it’s literally just. HOW DO I EXPLIJA IT ITS BASISLY LIKE JUST A CARTOON WHDJSNS AND I LOVE IT), pipedream, watchman, the mysterious feeling, the character development. bro EVERYHTING. i cant BELEIVE you hide so much shit in the tiniest things, make entire comics out of what look like such simple asks but no your ass is over here producing COMICS for this bro..... i’m so jealous oh my GOD...... there’s so much i can think of but it feels so little of what we actually know (confirmed) so far... also i see you editing the playlist... your ass is NOT SLICK!!!

comsider all of these paragraphs and everything i’ve said to you already in vc as revenge for all the genuine most kindest paragraphs i’ve read in my life in the reblogs of tsb fanart... guh.... also off topic from this, i realized this is the first time you’ll see me draw emmet oh my god....

i’m so sure i have more to say but my ass actually cant think of anything brooooo.... maybe i’ll send you paragraphs in dms when i think of it and actually remember it GUH.... OH OH WAIT WAIT ALL THE JOKES THAT WE’VE MADE. dude i’m always just being so silly in vc and i think it’s really silly and comedic when you’re over there making silly little doodles and i just go “you should draw tsmg4/smg4 with long hair/smg34” or other alike things.... i don’t think i’ll also ever live down the times when i fell asleep on vc and you were there for i think all of them except maybe 1 ? i have no clue... bro your voice genuinely so calming i’m gonna fall asleep again some day 😭😭

okay enough yapping about that i THINK...., when I first found you, it was literally from the lipbite part 1 comic 😭😭 and i was like “oh hey, i actually kind of really like this person’s art!!” so yk. i followed you!!! if i told my past self that i’d be sitting here right now, typing all of this out, they wouldnt believe me. I’m genuinely just so baffled at the mere thought of being here and being able to call you a friend. hell. i’d even say best friends / close friends bro... i cannot even fathom the thought of that in the past, yet, here i am, able to call you a friend that i talk to about regularly i’d say.

I want to say it again; Happy birthday Tomm, I hope you have one of the best birthdays in your life and thank you for everything.

-Neo 💙

also,,, here’s a silly meme

part 1 of 2 ... i mean. who said that!!!!

part 2 here

[certifiedposeidonhater]

what do you have against Poseidon? /gen - asking as a fan of seafam. he wanted to keep Percy and help him avoid his fate, but Sally said no for immortality to both of them so Poseidon respected that and stayed away to not draw Zeus and Hades' attention (bc they would kill Percy).

and after everything's revealed, Poseidon actually does as much as he can for Percy while obeying the no-interference laws? actually no - he breaks them a few times to help Percy. Like by mortal standards I know he's neglectful but by godly standards he's literally the best in pjo?

unless your referring to cotg poseidon which in that case - hate away. cotg poseidon is the worst and feels incredible fake/performative.

love your headcanon posts BTW!! those are some of the best takes I've seen. especially since you dont shy away from the more angsty topics like gabe and the suicidal thoughts.

Okay, so i promise i have many many reasons for this so this might be a bit scattered around so bare with me :))

In the books, we only see him interact with Percy a few times—which is much more than any other godly parent, i’m not denying that—but mainly (practically only) in the first series, before the war and before Percy has to choose between Kronos and Olympus.

So, how much of that do you think was Poseidon being a “good godly parent” and how much of it was Poseidon trying to make his son feel loved so that Percy didn’t turn on the gods. Because after Percy’s 16th birthday, Poseidon basically completely disappears from Percy’s life and when they do interact in say CotG, Poseidon is much more “godly” than he was when he was interacting with Percy in earlier books. He doesn’t try nearly as hard to make Percy feel heard or loved. He acts like every other god Percy has come into contact with.

The idea that Poseidon was just trying to manipulate Percy into choosing the gods’ side would also explain how Poseidon was able to contact Percy so easily without Zeus or the other gods throwing a hissy fit. They all knew that they needed Percy to like them, or at least they needed Percy to feel like they (Poseidon) cared about him.

Again, Poseidon stops interacting with Percy after the Battle of Manhattan. We do not see him at all throughout Heroes of Olympus (except for the final battle, when they fight together. However, they don’t talk after that and Percy is still just a weapon in that scenario. There is no father-son bonding in that scene at all.) I mean, i give him some grace during that time bc he was like tore between Neptune and Poseidon so that kinda makes sense but, with how much he was “present” in the earlier books, it was kinda weird that Percy had ZERO contact with him (if we’re going under the impression that Poseidon actually cared.)

Then, we see him in CotG and he is not like the Poseidon that Percy met in the earlier PJO books. He treats Percy like every other god does; like a weapon. And when he sees Percy in CotG, it’s not to check in and see how he is doing, it’s to give him more quests. It’s to remind him that he will never be anything more than a weapon. It could have just as well been Apollo (well actually not really bc Apollo was kinda all mortal-y at that time so never mind) or Hermes giving him the news and nobody would bat an eye. The Olympians could’ve even planned for Poseidon to be the one to give Percy the information about the quests because they thought it might lighten the blow, or Percy would have the chance of being more calm. It was probably all a manipulation tactic.

Also, i’m still kinda annoyed at Poseidon for him calling Percy a “wrongdoing” and an “unforgivable mistake.” Like i know that might not have been exactly what he meant to say, but he’s literally a thousand year old god. What do you mean you don’t know how to eloquently talk to a child? I feel like that’s just him being lazy. There is NO WAY that a thousand year old being doesn’t know how to put what he means to say into words. I can do that and i’m literally 14. Poseidon saying that and people using the excuse “well he didn’t mean it that way” is giving weaponized incompetence.

And, coming from someone who grew up with a manipulative parental figure, half the “compliments” and praise Percy gets from Poseidon feels very much like…well, love-bombing might be the right word for it? It feels fake and like he’s just trying to make sure Percy isn’t starting to feel bitter toward the gods. Or like he’s trying to distract Percy from the way the gods are manipulating him by showering him with gifts and advice and whatnot. But none of it actually feels real.

The books with Percys interactions with Poseidon are also completely from Percy’s pov, meaning that it’s an unreliable narrative. Percy desperately needs a good relationship with Poseidon because he needs a father figure in his life. There’s a very good chance that the interactions with Poseidon are much worse than what Percy says because he perceives them differently. He makes himself believe that Poseidon is being genuine and that he actually loves Percy because Percy knows he wouldn’t be able to take it if all of it was fake. He knows he wouldn’t be able to handle another person leaving him.

Overall, Poseidon was a manipulative god. He never really saw Percy as his son, he saw him as a weapon, just like all the other gods did. He manipulated Percy to prevent him from becoming bitter toward the gods before his 16th birthday. Paul Blofis is wayyyy better than Poseidon ANY DAY.

Paul>>>>

(also i don’t have time to proofread this so if anything looks weird that’s why)

[dokidokitsuna]

Magical Girl #1

So I realize I haven’t been posting a lot here lately…there are several reasons.

Most of it was just a garden-variety depressive episode, which was unfortunately extended after I had to go on antibiotics for a couple weeks. It got to a point where I considered canceling a bunch of projects because I just didn’t like to draw anymore. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ (Still recovering from that, tbh…)

After a while I decided to focus on my writing instead, at least to take my mind off that frightening thought. ^^; I got pretty far into a new novel (which I’ll probably talk about later) but more importantly, I managed to complete a 19-page script for ^this concept, the first new original comic idea I’ve had in years.

It’s basically my take on the idea of a solitary magical girl, which you don’t see so much of nowadays…I think the most famous is Cardcaptor Sakura, and even she had some magical sidekicks (iirc, they just had different sources of power, something like that). I’m not familiar with any examples in the genre where it’s literally just her, ala typical Western superhero…

But that’s not really the reason I wanted to write this story– I developed it mainly to explore the idea of a solitary protagonist, someone who doesn’t have any conventional social relationships outside of their family, AND doesn’t use the story to form any. How could I develop an entertaining story around such a person; what sort of character arc would they go through? Might this character realize, to some degree, that they’re not a ‘traditional’ protagonist, and have some thoughts about this…?

For a while I toyed with the idea of applying this framework to an existing idea, but then I figured it’d be easier (and shorter) to write a completely new self-contained story. Which led to the creation of Anno the magical girl, and her partner Armitage. ^^

My #1 rule was ‘no crutches’: No making her (2) family members stick to her like glue and take the place of the usual friendgroup, for instance. This rule also forced me to change the usual characterization of the helpful fairy sidekick to that of an abusive parasite…which ended up being one of the best writing decisions I ever made. ^^ I love Armitage; not only are he and Anno a great comedy duo, but I think his meanness makes Anno a stronger character.

His worst ‘friendless loser’ insults towards her are just simple statements based (oddly enough) on things I’ve heard people express about themselves. So his dialogue becomes almost cathartic, and Anno’s reactions to it become more realistic as a result. She can’t just brush off his comments as meaningless hate; she kinda has to internalize them whether she wants to or not…if she were just a little more sensitive, this story would probably have a very unhappy ending. ^^;;; But as it is, it’s just an introspective comedy about a neurodivergent girl learning to love and trust herself.

I’m not 100% sure what I’m going to do with the script now that it’s done…mostly I’ve just been using it as motivation to draw for fun again, and to continue developing a manga style (I think I’m getting close to something solid).  But will I actually attempt to draw the manga? Will I try that thing I always wanted to try where I commission some artists to draw it with me…? Or will I just hang onto it and start writing a sequel in my spare time, like I usually do? ^^; Only time will tell…

[thefaiao]

seeing your clowns made me go feral since my fixation is cringe and clown flavored

Who let you cook like that who let you cook AUTHHFFH UR ART IS SO COOL IM BEING DRAGGED AWAY

You’re hatching is so fucking inspiring since it’s soMETHING I try to do in my own work I LOVE UR ART

would it be fine to ask what brushes you use? I love ur values also, you’re so so good at shapes and form WAAAA I LOVE UR STUFF. I did dig up an old ask you made iirc, but I’m not sure if it’s changed

Hey! Thank you very much. I'll go through the brushes I use for each program: Drawpile

From what I understand most of these are MyPaint brushes... but I only know them as drawpile brushes because that's what I use. Main ones I've used lately is Irregular Ink and a default brush for coloring

I don't really change the size of irregular ink much and the pressure doesn't matter that much. It has high stabilization which I haven't changed, but I'm sure you could get away with lowering it. For the other brush I'm pretty sure it's a default one that I slightly tweaked (drawpile is a bit bad about communicating what brush exactly you are using to you.) I quite like it because it feels like playing with clay, makes it easy to map out the volume. I use it for those lineless pieces I do from time to time too. I change its size a lot while drawing. I've also used these two, one of the pencil brushes and a second one I stole from Jokioro that I have no idea what is called

I used the first one for the D'arce I did a while ago and the recent VTMB piece. It's great at emulating sketchy graphite pencils, I like layering it to do multi-colored hatching rendering. The second one I don't know how to use super well yet but it's probably my fourth most used as of late. It works very weirdly so if you wanna figure out how to make it work I recommend looking at how Jokioro draws. Clip Studio I bounce around a lot with all the brushes, but I use a loooot of stuff from the Frenden pack. Mainly Meeko Leako for lining and even coloring, it has a great texture to it, very fun

This has been my most used brush for years. It's great for super straight lines and produces a great difference in value between quick lines and thick lines. I haven't used it as much since I picked up drawpile more recently, but it's amazing! Other than that I use the default G-pen when I just want simple lines without much texture

It's a bit ugly at a glance but I think if you lock in it's great for super clean lines, just trying to get the point across without much noise. I also like coloring with it at times, when I'm going lineless. SAI Binary pen. Use the binary pen. It's the best brush ever made

It just feels super right to draw with it, it's so simple but it makes your lines look super slick, and it's just a binary pen. I guess they just got the behavior down perfect for it. But yeah, love this brush. IRL I've always used these archival ink pens in different sizes for basically everything I've done traditionally, and of course just a simple number 2 pencil for sketching and such. I've used a bit of charcoal recently, and been wanting to deep into darker pencils for detail, but this is still the default. I also will probably try out dip pens sometime

That's all I can think of immediately, but I always like to mess around to try and find another great brush, and you should do the same even if you end up using these a lot.

[clock-06]

Some more PM thoughts cause they’re rattling round my brain at hyper speed now that people know about them

PM! Ford and Canon Bill would fucking destroy the universe fighting each other. Battle of two giant egos. There would be homosexual overtones of course, but they both have a craving for power and enough power to leave a trail of destruction anywhere they interacted

Canon Ford would be very weirded out and like? Not scared but primal instinct of wrong about PM!Bill, who is nice to him off the bat. c!Ford would bring up weirdmaggedon and trickery and PM!Bill would just be like “oh yeah. I was gonna do that, but I’ve honestly had a lot of fun with my Ford just traveling dimensions and helping him research. I may get back to that eventually” and c!Ford is dumbstruck and suffering from emotional whiplash. Eventually neither of them would really talk to each other and sit in silence.

c!Bill thinks PM!Bill is pathetic and a failure, and by his standards, he is technically right in both of those opinions. PM!Bill thinks c!Bill is an idiot for sabotaging the one good thing he had, but is very light around the topic. It’s very c!Bill as a kind of annoyed as fuck third wheel. He holds a lot of hate for both PM!Bill and PM!Ford, mainly hating the latter for not being the Ford of his universe, as he loves the violence and lust for power PM!Ford holds (he’d never admit it out loud though).

c!Ford is convinced PM!Ford is possessed by Bill somehow. Convinced there’s no way any route could lead to him acting like that, or be that successful. Basically 100% sure that PM!Ford sold his soul in a deal with Bill and being soulless is why he’s like that.

PM!Ford and PM!Bill have a lot of deals laid out, most of which are for Ford’s benefit and a few at Bill’s deficit (but he’s too in love to realize that). They are technically married, moreso in the legal contract sense than a ceremonial sense. Ford spurred this on, getting Bill enamored with the idea of them being together forever and explaining the human tradition of marriage in a mostly accurate way. They have matching rings, gold with a triangle surrounding a circular gem (probably something rarer than diamonds that they found while traveling) and Bill’s acts as a binding magical artifact while Ford’s is entirely mundane. Bill is unaware of the effects of his ring, and probably wouldn’t take it off knowing them (y’all don’t get to know yet sorry).

Ford can defend himself pretty well due to his tech as well as some physical enhancements from deals with Bill, so he does go on solo missions without Bill, especially if it’s to keep Bill in his loyal arsenal. A few characters try to join them, and they even have a run in with the axolotl (who is mainly concerned for Bill and despises Ford), but Bill and Ford are a very exclusive duo and the intentionally created co-dependency means no one travels with them for long. There is a point where they run into Fiddleford for reasons it’s….. gonna be fun to write and draw let’s just say that.

Ford does come back through the portal after 30 years, mainly because through Bill’s surveillance, he’s been gaining interest in this generation of pines twins, especially Dipper’s potential as a researcher.

And that’s where I’m gonna leave my infodumping for now because my lunch is ready and I have to get my mail

<3 toxic old man triangle yaoi keeps me awake at night

[harpersdragons]

New Fic!

Theft in the Family...By Jason Todd

Talia tasks Jason with taking Damian to his father, and a few things change

Primary Tags: jason and damian met in the league, mainly fluff

I've written through half of chapter 4, i'm expecting 5-6 chapters

Chapter 1 under the cut:

word count: 1327

Jason’s life changed (for the third—fourth? Fifth? Fuck Jason’s lost count—time) the day Talia burst into his room in the league headquarters.

Jason snaps to attention, drawing the knife from under his pillow.

Talia may be like a mother to him, and he may love her little boy more than anything, but this is still the league. If you’re not hypervigilant, you’re dead. Threats are everywhere, even where you don’t expect them.

“The clown is dead.” She announces.

Jason relaxes, then tenses up again once the words register.

“You’re not kidding.”

“No. I have personally ensured it.”

“What…what about the plan?”

“It has been changed. You will still go to Gotham, but you must take Damian with you.”

“What.” He didn’t mind Damian coming with him, but taking him from Ra’s was declaring war on the league.

“I need you to deliver him to his father. It is not safe for him here.”

When Jason agrees, she hands over a letter.

“Give this to my Beloved. Come, you leave now.”

“I’m—I’m not packed.” He didn’t want to see Bruce, maybe he could keep Damian for himself?

As soon as the thought pops in his head, he dismisses it. He wouldn’t be able to give Damian a fulfilling life, he’s barely 17 for fuck’s sake. (He thinks, anyway, the whole being dead thing makes knowing his age difficult).

“You will find everything you need on the plane.”

They weave through the labyrinth of corridors, eventually reaching the plane Talia’s arranged.

Damian is already there, sitting primly in one of the chairs in the cargo hold.

Talia exchanges a tearful goodbye (on Damian’s side, Talia is as immovable as ever) with her 6 year old, and Jason readies for takeoff.

When they arrive in Gotham, Jason lands at a private airstrip just outside of Gotham. Bruce would probably find out about it, since he seems to know fuckin’ everything, but that’s really not Jason’s problem right now. Talia had provided a small car, so he packs Damian into the backseat and drove off towards Bristol.

“Alright, Princeling, the rules are different here. Your father has two other kids, and you need to get along with them. No killing, no maiming, no trying to assert yourself as the rightful heir.”

“But I am the rightful heir, am I not?”

It still shocked him how formal Damian was. No matter how many times he heard it, hearing a six year old talk like he’s an old monarch or some shit is something you never get used to.

“It doesn’t work like that here. Bruce…Bruce loves his children equally,” Jason may not believe it—the Old Man has favorites, and you can never convince him otherwise—but Damian needs to. Bruce needs to accept Damian, and that won’t happen if the kid is trying to kill his siblings. “No killing and no maiming are the main rules, but make sure you listen to whatever Bruce and Alfred say, alrigh’?”

“Ok, Akhi.” Damian’s voice is sleepy, and Jason can practically hear him drifting off.

He smiles softly, having Damian around helped tremendously with getting the Pit Rage under control, and he’s sure that’s what Talia’s plan was. The rage is useful for some things, but if she wanted to get Damian out of Nanda Parbat for his safety, she had to make sure he wouldn’t be overcome with pit rage and kill the kid.

The drive passes pretty quickly, though he does catch a few glimpses of Bats on rooftops on his way to the manor. He makes sure they haven’t followed him, and then parks in the woods about a mile from the manor.

“C’mon, Habibi.” He grabs Damian out of the backseat and settles him on his hip.

“I can walk, I am not a child!” His voice is still sleepy, but the exclamation is still there.

Jason couldn’t help but snort.

“Actually, by definition, you are a child. I’m not making you walk a mile, I can carry you.”

“I can walk, Todd!”

“Quiet, Habibi. You’re not walking.”

“Tt.” Damian huffs but settles down.

The walk passes quickly, if you ignore Damian’s annoyed grumbling, and then they’re standing before the gates of the manor.

Well, kind of.

They’re standing off to the side and in one of the camera blind spots.

Jason takes a second to analyze the fence line, and finds a shorter tree they could climb and hop over.

Hopefully Bruce didn’t drastically change the security measures on the grounds.

He carries Damian over to the tree and prompts him to grab the lowest branch. Once he is safely sitting in the tree, Jason climbs up after him.

”Can you jump over the fence and land safely?”

Damian tosses a scathing glare (well…as scathing as a six year old can be) at Jason and prepares to jump.

”That wasn’t an answer, and I really need one. The ‘safely’ was the most important part of that.”

”Tt.” Damian throws himself off the branch, flipping in the air and lands softly on the ground.

”You’re gonna get along so great with Golden Boy…” Jason mutters before following. He doesn’t flip, but he does manage to land almost as softly as Damian. He eyes the yard for a few seconds, trying to spot the security triggers.

He scoops Damian up again and picks his way across the yard, heading for the Manor.

He stops a little ways away, within view of the driveway and front door. “Ok, I’ll stay here until you’re inside.”

Damian furrows his brow and turns his inquisitive gaze on Jason. “You are not coming with me?”

”This isn’t my home anymore, Princeling.” He smiles sadly, “Your father won’t want me around, this is somewhere you have to go alone.”

”I do not want to live there without you! Why can’t I stay with you?”

”You need to stay with your father. He can keep you safe.” Jason crouches to be eye level with him, and runs a hand through Damian’s soft hair. “I will always come if you call, Habibi. I promise you.” He tugs two letters out of his jacket, one for Bruce and one for Alfred.

He wrote the one for Alfred specifically. Damian needs to know how to contact Jason, and therefore someone in the family will too.

“Give these to Alfred Pennyworth when he opens the door.” He hands them to Damian, “Go on now.”

”No! You can’t leave me.”

”Damian.”

”Why do you have to leave me?” Damian’s eyes started watering.

”I don’t belong here, ok? I can’t stay.”

Damian huffs and glares at him, tears still leaking out of his eyes.

“I’m sorry, but you need to go.” Jason pulls him in for a quick hug. “I love you, Habibi. If you need me, tell Alfred, alrigh’? He’ll be able to contact me.”

Damian doesn’t respond, just buries his face in Jason’s chest, in an uncharacteristic show of affection.

Eventually, Damian pulls away and wipes his eyes. “I do not want you to go, Akhi.”

If Jason stays any longer he just might stay, damn Damian’s convincing.

“I can’t, Dami. Bruce doesn’t want me!”

”How do you know?”

I’m not your father. I don’t have to deal with your teenage rebellion.

I’m not your father

I’m not your father

”Because he fuckin’ told me so, kid.”

”Tt.”

”Dami…” Jason sighs, “I’ll visit, how ‘bout that? I’m sure we can figure it out.”

”That is acceptable, I suppose,” Damian’s tone is sullen, and he refuses to meet Jason’s eyes.

”Good. Now go on, the bats will probably be back from patrol soon.”

Damian darts in for another quick hug, then makes his way towards the door.

Jason watches as he knocks, then a few seconds later Alfred opens the door. Damian hands over the letters and is ushered inside.

Time for Jason to head out, then.

“Bye, Habibi.” He murmurs, then leaves the way he came.

[lovelymindescape]

hi!! I’m obsessed with your match ups I think that’s such a cool idea! could you please tell me who you ship me with in squid game? :)

im a cis, bi-curious female, 18 years old, 5’8, thin, i just dyed my hair pink, and my style fluctuates but rn i would say im going for a girly street style kinda thing

i’m not super experienced with relationships, i honestly find myself getting icked out and tired of the other person pretty fast so i’ve never been in anything long term. i also just don’t really go looking for relationships or anything

i think my love language is compliments/words of affirmation when done right and not excessively. i’m not a huge fan of overly sweet or overly clingy people but i also want a partner who is fun and makes the relationship exciting everyday. like a perpetual honeymoon phase kinda thing

for fun i honestly like to party, i drink with my friends on the weekends and am always up for spontaneous hangouts. my friends and i hardly plan anything

i am bi curious but i defiently am mainly attracted to men

because i’m not super experienced with long term relationships i don’t even know what i would say my negative traits are. i think if anything its honestly just my patience. i don’t know why it’s difficult for me to hold interest in people when im talking to them romantically

i like someone who is more mature and dominant but i am also a dominant person so they can’t try to make me submit to them, it has to be an equal partnership

thank you! sorry if this is was confusing lol

It wasn't confusing, dw ! Hope you like it 💕

I ship you with…

✨ Gi-hun (especially S1 Gi-hun)✨

- You two would meet during a chaotic event, where your spontaneous energy and his knack for adapting to sudden changes would create an immediate spark. Despite his more reserved personality, Gi-hun would be captivated by your boldness and carefree attitude.

- His mature, yet playful nature would balance well with your energy, leading to a relationship full of fun, with plenty of spontaneous adventures that keep the excitement alive.

- Gi-hun would appreciate how you keep things fresh and lively, avoiding routine. He’d love that you both can enjoy parties and hang out with friends without a rigid plan, always letting things unfold naturally.- As someone who isn’t clingy, Gi-hun would respect your space, but his occasional quiet affection would make you feel valued without overwhelming you. He’d offer simple but thoughtful compliments that hit just right.

- You’d admire his sense of responsibility and maturity, as he has a calm confidence that draws people to him. He’s protective but in a subtle, understated way that aligns with your desire for an equal partnership.

- Though you both love a bit of independence, he’d be there when you need reassurance, with a calm, grounded presence that helps you stay centered. His support would never feel smothering.

- Gi-hun would love your girly street style and would probably find the way you carry yourself both impressive and intriguing. He’d even surprise you with thoughtful gestures, like picking up a little something for you that suits your style.

- He wouldn’t push you into anything serious too quickly but would slowly create a deeper connection that feels comfortable and genuine. He’d show his affection in little ways, like making sure you’re taken care of during the chaotic moments of your life.

- His teasing and sarcasm would match perfectly with your wit, making for a fun and playful dynamic where you challenge each other while keeping things light.

- When life gets overwhelming, Gi-hun would provide the perfect balance of maturity and understanding, helping you through moments of impatience with calm advice and a bit of humor.

- While he isn’t overly vocal with his feelings, he would express his affection through actions, like planning a spontaneous hangout that makes you feel special and appreciated.

- Gi-hun would respect your space and independence but would quietly show how much he values you in his own subtle, mature way. Together, you'd create a partnership that's equal, exciting, and never boring.

[roses-bel-air-darling]

In one way, at least Touya’s end is kind of ambiguous so we can make our own ideas! I mean yes, there are the implications of him dying and such. I won’t deny it still sucks considering Endeavour and all. But, in one way at least he will be able to talk with his family, reconcile with them. I like to think (might be wishful thinking on my part) that eventually he gets better and maybe lives with his family again, or something, to give him a chance at normal with his family. He might be under house arrest or something, unless he still stuck in a tank after all those years, or did die. But if he did, I like to think he and his family made peace before he did.

Idk, it’s just unfortunate how the Todoroki plot wrapped up, but at least his family didn’t push him away. Honestly I’m probably in denial with it all because maybe he is dead considering he wasn’t shown in the flashbacks, but who knows?

Toga and Shigiraki’s deaths were unfortunate, HK really fumbled on the end. Honestly I dipped when the last chapter released, and when I came back, I realized that a lot of people/blogs didn’t have many thoughts on the end. Almost unanimously it seemed everyone was in radio silence 😅

I am so sorry that this is long!

That's the tiny bit of hope I have for touya. Although, I'm trying not to be a negative nancy. There is the last volume and the official fanbook both coming out this December. We could possibly get a final update on touya. Good or bad.

Hori confirmed that he forgot to draw a few things in the final chapter and is going to put it in the final volume.

I'm not going to be cautiously optimistic. I'm just going to expect something.

Personally, before the manga ended, I was on the villain trio big save train. I was so sure they were going to get a 'happy' ending and heading towards their bright futures as it was intended to throughout the story. (Note: I won't elaborate on the whole villains bad, must die arguments. It's tiring and gets old super fast the moment those sentences are used to justify the deaths of toga, shigaraki, and touya. Different topic, different day.)

Now, looking back, I just want him to have a peaceful death with his mom and siblings there by his side and knowing he's not alone and loved. I don't want him to be alive and be a part of the society that still rejects someone like him, toga, and shigaraki. You must be a good victim to be accepted back into said society, and bad victims don't deserve a second chance, sympathy, or to be heard. Doesn't matter how much pain and abuse you have been afflicted. No redemption. Death is the only option.

Onto the last parts, with the todoroki family plot. I hated that dabi, shouto, and the rest of the family became plot devices for endeavor's "redemption."

Shouto and dabi's moments are being overshadowed by endeavors, constant apologizing, and yapping. Over and over.

Hori didn't know what to do with endeavor and it showed.

Poor shouto's arc being ruined.

The unnecessary parts of the final todoroki chapter of endeavor's talking as if touya is still a villain by accepting his invitation to Dabi's dance and natsuo's comment about that was the only time he thought his dad was a badass. It felt so off and OOC of natsuo to say that.

I lost interest during the entirety of the ACT 3 of the manga. I only cared about the villains at the time. I think hori in the end. He just wanted to end the manga. There were a bunch of breaks during Act 3 due to his health and stress, and it affected the story. Hori deserves a long, long vacation as being mangaka is draining. I also hope he recovers as well.

I'm sorry for yapping, but I felt the same that I wish we didn't get these endings for the todoroki family and the villain trio. I would say more on toga and shigaraki's outcome, but I would make this reply WAY too long. Almost a 20-page essay. 😂

Lastly, with the blogs I follow on tumblr and Twitter on the reactions I saw to the last few chapters. It was mainly negative. And yet other bigger blogs in the fandom it was crickets. I agree I think the silence was loud and clear too. I'm like... 😬

I don't go on the BNHA reddit as the posts call the ending bad cause people's ships didn't become canon. Which with shipping vs. story arcs, themes, and narratives. I only care about the story in general when I read. Shipping? Nah.

For real, tho, I just wish the manga ended on how it was originally going to.

My headcanon is that the league is in an island somewhere, just soaking in the sun and having fun. Spinner and shigaraki brought a whole TV and gaming consoles to the beach, toga swimming and teaching twice how to swim, dabi cooking some BBQ while texting shouto asking how's he's doing. Compress is getting a tan and scolding shigaraki and spinner for bringing electronics to the beach. Big sis magne is not with them as she modeling in a big fashion show.

Just a happy little misfits being a family. 💗

Sorry anon! For the long reply! I wanted to share my opinions on the ending as well. Take care!

[paracosmicka]

Hey! I love your art so much 💖 I wanted to ask what program you use for 3D modelling?

aw thank you!! :3

and to answer your question i’m going to warn you this is going to be kinda long because i’m gonna use this post as an excuse to show my 3D models that aren’t awful (sorry lol).

i actually use two different programs, both for different purposes, but you don’t need to get both, it really depends on which kind of modeling you want to do.

1) the first is called Nomad Sculpt on the iPad, you do have to pay for it unfortunately but it’s definitely one of the best modeling apps for the iPad. i know Blender is free but my computer is really old and doesn’t run the program very well, and at this point i’ve already gotten used to nomad sculpt.

anyway tho, i use it for art-related things like the obvious 3D models, but recently i’ve been playing around with just making scenes to use as references for my drawings. they’re not anything impressive, most of the time i actually use it to make little figurines to print and turn into earrings/little friends that sit in my room just for fun.

i’m gonna show this first bc they look cooler once they’re printed and colored (also you can tell i printed mini crowley and aziraphale when my sonadow hyperfixation started bc i never actually painted crowley) (he’s just kinda sitting there oops).

the little red guys are actually my favorite bugs (goliath beetles), i made them about a year ago but i still wear them like every day.

and here’s what they look like in the app, it’s a little intimidating but once you get used to it it’s actually kinda fun just playing around and seeing what you can do.

2) the second program i use is Shapr3D (also for the iPad, but i think they made an update where you can run it on windows/mac). you also have to pay for this as a subscription which sucks, i’m only able to use it since the engineering program i’m in pays for it.

Shapr3D is one of the many CAD software programs out there, but it’s nice bc it’s very beginner friendly and very easy to use. CAD is mainly for architecture/engineering but i honestly think more 3D artists should give it a try. it’s really nice once you get the hang of it and (i’m probably biased bc i’m a student) i honestly prefer it over just normal modeling software because i feel like you can be a lot more creative with it.

right now for my engineering class, our semester final is to design and present something that’s functional, and we can either explain the math behind it or just 3D print it and demonstrate how it works, and i’m making a functional mini model of “the rack” trap from Saw III (i’m not psychotic i swear i’ve just had a Saw hyperfixation for 5 years).

i’m definitely gonna post it when it’s finished just bc i’m already excited with how it’s turning out, but for now here’s a couple at-home projects i’ve done:

(above) i have a bunch of wet liners and i designed a stackable holder thingy with bolts between the shelves and a little cute star screw to fasten it at the top.

(above) i also made a few rotating brush holders at home (bc the ones that actually rotate are like $40 for some reason) by buying a set of small sphere bearings at home depot for like $5 (that’s what those little metal things are inside the third one, i took it apart bc i don’t know how to put a video and a picture in the same post) (just pretend they’re spinning rn).

anyway that’s all!! if you actually read this whole thing i love you so much bc engineering and design is one of my special interests so thanks for letting me tell you about the silly things i’ve made :3

[crescenthoax]

a nightmare before Christmas • pt2

🎄or an Annika, Floris, Willa and Targtowers Christmas tale🌟

Part One

Part two

Part three

Summary: Aemond, Daeron, Aegon and Helaena had different things planned for Christmas, but one same fate: their father’s old cabin.

Basically an i’m never gonna love again christmas modern AU because we need to spread some joy on these times and I wanted to write something fun. Mainly centred around Aegon x Female OC.

Part 2/3. Part 3.

🧣⋆.ೃ࿔*:･⍣ ೋ *ੈ🎄‧₊˚ . *ੈ✩‧₊˚ ೃ࿐🌟

“I can't believe you convinced me to do this,” says Aegon, shaking his head. “I don't need no game nor excuse to get wasted.”

“Oh, come on. We’re all going to play,” Helaena tells him, amused. “Even Aemond.”

It translates easily to: ‘You can't be more boring than him.’

It’s not that Aemond is the boring type, in fact, he's just so reserved and responsible that he's gotten used to having fun in other ways. But everyone has seen him drink whiskey as easily as soda and smile as if he had two hooks on his face and scarlet–flushed cheeks while dancing during Annika's New Year's party on the yacht in 2019.

Everyone sits in a circle around the coffee table in the huge living room. Logan stirs some logs in the fireplace, trying to revive the flames before sitting down between Helaena and Annika on the couch. Aegon is sprawled on one of the individual and comfy, green velveteen chairs, just like Aemond on the other, and Floris sits with Willa and Daeron on the other couch.

“So, does everyone know how this works?” Annika asks, finishing pouring herself a glass of white wine. On the table, there is an exaggerated amount of drinks to choose from. “Someone says something, and if you've done it, you drink. If you haven't, you don't. It's simple.”

“Never have I ever explained a game we all know just to seem smart,” Aegon laughs. “And now you drink.”

She sighs and takes a sip of wine after flipping him off. So much for the ‘truce.’

“Logan, why don't you start? That way, we can get to know you better,” Annika insists.

He feels a bit pressured with the number of new and curious looks around him, but he seems to handle it wonderfully. “Hmm. Never have I ever... been to a party I wasn't invited to.”

“Easy!” Aegon singsongs and drinks from his beer. Daeron, Logan himself, Annika, and Helaena follow suit. Surprisingly to everyone, Floris also drinks, drawing attention. “Are you kidding me?”

“Why do you sound surprised?” She shakes her head, pretending to be offended. “Never have I ever gone skinny dipping.”

“I love the new Floris,” Aegon mocks, drinking. “Singleness agrees with you.”

Everyone drinks this time, except for Annika and Daeron, and she gets some skeptical looks. She puts her feet up on the couch to get more comfortable, her black ballet flats shining even brighter than the Christmas tree. “What? I find it unhygienic.”

“Never have I ever creeped an ex on social media,” Willa dares to say this time. Helaena and she are the only ones who don't drink, and Floris joins them while she shifts uncomfortably, seeing that Aemond does drink.

Aegon sees the opportunity to create a tense moment and seizes it. “Never have I ever lost my virginity to someone in this group.”

“Are you serious?” Helaena sighs.

“Very.”

The only ones who drink are the broken–up couple and the one that sticks together like peaches and cream. Willa takes a long gulp of her fruit cocktail, probably trying to shake off the embarrassment. She has not yet understood that no one really cares.

“Never have I ever had a crush on my siblings’s friends or on my friends's siblings,” Aemond says, accusingly looking at Aegon.

“All hail Cassandra Baratheon,” Annika murmurs before drinking. Daeron and Logan follow her, and so does Aegon, without any problem. Helaena turns her head trying to make sense of the situation, but Annika quickly adds, “Never have I ever been with someone of the same sex.”

She drinks. It doesn't surprise anyone that Aegon also drinks. It surprises everyone that Floris does.

“What!?” Helaena demands, laughing. “When!?”

“Never have I ever had a threesome,” Aemond basically answers for her. Annika chokes on the water she's drinking, and Aegon bursts into laughter when he sees the ex-couple drink, along with Logan and himself.

“Well, I don't have to know everything,” Daeron complains, wrinkling his nose in disgust. He usually is the one who always lags behind when it comes to knowledge about his brothers's lives, and to be honest, sometimes he feels it's better that way.

“Never have I ever broken the law,” Willa says. It's not surprising that everyone drinks this time, except her and Logan. Rich people thing, apparently.

“Never have I ever gotten a piercing,” Logan offers.

Helaena is the only one who drinks, her navel and ears heavily jewelled. And then, Aegon looks at Annika and shakes his head.

“I can't believe it. After all this time, and you still are a fucking cheater,” he addresses her.

“Excuse me?” She chuckles, feigning ignorance.

“You just lied.”

“But she has no piercings,” Floris defends her. Annika tightens the glass in her right hand and shifts uncomfortably on the couch.

“She has her right nipple pierced!” Aegon growls.

“Aegon!” Annika shouts, annoyed. “That's not something yours to share.”

“God, you always do the same thing and cheat on this stupid game. Why did you want to play if you're not going to expose yourself?”

“I don’t need them to know what I have pierced and what I don't. It's not about that,” she grumbles, crossing her arms.

Daeron furrows his brow. “How do you know she has a nipple piercing?”

“And when did you pierce your nipple?” Helaena asks, confused.

Annika bites her lip for a moment, suddenly too aware of the piercing that now seems to be warming up, the sensitive, raw skin against her bra. She was supposed to get both nipples pierced, but she couldn't bear the pain, at least not sober. She would come back someday for the next one, of course.

Aegon had taken her to get it done when she visited him in San Francisco last spring. The last time they saw each other. He promised her it would feel good afterwards. It's not something she has experienced yet.

He notices what the memory does to her. Annika moves again, too uncomfortable under his accusing gaze.

“I saw her naked this afternoon. I found her in the shower when we arrived. It was accidental,” Aegon explains casually. Annika's cheeks flush, yet she's grateful that Aegon thought so quickly to cover his tracks.

Now, that’s kind of a lie.

He had seen her naked since Annika's 20th birthday. She spent some time at the Targaryens’s house in London during lockdown, and there came a moment when they were so bored that one night, after swimming and drinking by the indoor pool, she came out dripping from a dive and went into the changing rooms to dry off. He followed her and didn't say anything; he was so bored that he held her against the wall and ate her out until she cried. He always had a thing for her and knew she was as bored and lonely. That night, she sneaked into his room, and he fucked her until she begged him to stop. Earlier, she had told him not to stop when she asked, so they fucked until he passed, and she had trouble walking the next day.

She had never felt such connection with someone before. They got along so well inside the bedroom that it was almost addictive. When they were alone, they got along even better than they did when they were with the others. And it made sense. It made all the sense in the world for them, but not necessarily for the world.

So when they wanted to have fun, without explanations, they flew to see each other. Or they met in places where they couldn't be found, like the time he fingered her at the Eiffel Tower on a random Thursday night in March.

And no one ever suspected. Until...

“I can't believe you said that,” Annika clicks her tongue. “Okay, if that's how you want to play. Never have I ever used Aemond's toothbrush.”

“You did what?” Aemond grumbles, turning to his brother with unease. “Dude. What the actual fuck?”

“Well, thank you very much, you witch,” Aegon rolls his eyes and takes a sip of his beer. Then he smiles at the blonde sitting across from him and extends his can to her. “Never have I ever used Annika's toothbrush," he says, finishing the can with pride.

“God, you're such a pig!”

“Now I understand why Aegon's room is always a suite,” Daeron mocks, putting an arm around Willa's shoulders and leaning back on the sofa, pulling his girlfriend towards him. “You never used my toothbrush, right?”

“I once used dad's toothbrush to brush Sunfyre's teeth,” Helaena adds, tipsy as she could be. Everyone looks at her strangely, and they burst into laughter instantly. “I was really mad at him.”

“Why?” Willa laughs.

“I really don't remember. It must have been important for me to decide to brush Aegon's dog's teeth with his toothbrush,” she shrugs. Logan looks at her amused and shakes his head.

“It's such a Helaena thing to do,” Floris adds. “Remember the time Annika released Helaena’s spiders in the classroom and told Cressida they were poisonous?”

“Why would you do that?” Willa asks.

“Because I hated that bitch,” she replies simply. “She was sort of like my nemesis. She hated me too.”

“I fucked with her,” Aegon adds, “in her cabin when we went to that horrible camp with our school, during lunchtime.”

Floris grimaces in disgust. “But she was in our cabin.”

“I know. She insisted on doing it on Annika's bed,” he laughs, and her jaw drops. “She got back at you; you have to give her that.”

“And you participated in that?!” She screams. “Aegon, I can't believe you!”

“Oh, don't be so pristine. It was over the sheets. And hey, we could have put your toothbrush in the toilet of public bathrooms, but we didn't,” he replies.

“Okay. Never have I ever done it in someone else's bed,” Logan intervenes, somewhat familiar with the dynamics of distracting Annika and Aegon from tearing each other apart like wild dogs.

Everyone drinks, except Annika. “As I said, it's unhygienic.”

“What do you not find unhygienic?” Daeron teases her. “Okay, I want to know this, and I think it's the moment. Never have I ever been with a teacher.”

“You're still on that? I already told you I didn’t!” Aegon leans in to push his younger brother's arm playfully.

“You were sober when I asked you! I thought you were lying for my sake,” Daeron defends himself, laughter vibrating through the walls. “I had heard the rumours.”

And everyone's laughter accompanies his, except Aemond and Floris, who remain in a creeping silence, looking at each other.

“I mean, it's something he would do,” Helaena shrugs.

“No, I had heard that...-“ He stops speaking, the smile on his face turning from confusion to more confusion than grace when he looks at Aemond in deafening silence, just like Floris by his side. When everyone notices it, the atmosphere seems to dissipate. “I had heard that... Hum, one of my brothers... That...”

Helaena and Annika look at each other. Then Annika looks at Aegon, who keeps his mouth in an ‘O’ shape and remains motionless, trying not to add more fuel to the fire.

“C’mon,” Floris speaks for the first time. She and Aemond exchange glances, and the coffee table is not the only thing separating them because it feels like there are miles between them. Floris's voice is cold, just like her eyes. Annika knows her well enough to know that she's drunk. “Rules are rules. If you've done it, you drink.”

“I don't understand,” Logan murmurs, a bit lost.

“No? Well, let me try again. Never have I ever found my boyfriend fucking one of our high school teachers in my own bed, only to find out they had been screwing behind my back since we were in high school.”

Floris finishes her glass of red wine in three long gulps. Helaena stays silent, her hand resting on her mouth to hide the surprise. Logan and Willa shrink in their places, while Daeron scratches his head uncomfortably, and Annika bites her inside cheek.

Aegon takes a small sip of his drink with a loud noise. “Aemond… This is fucked up. Really, really bad. The kind of thing I would do.”

Floris leaves the empty glass on the table with so much accidental force that it breaks. Helaena startles, and Floris stands up, swaying. “This has been fun. Have a good time.”

She walks away without even looking back at Aemond, leaving everyone too bewildered to react quickly. He sighs, leaves his drink on the table, and tries to stand up.

“Floris, wait...”

“Haven't you done enough?” Annika spits venom, getting up and pushing him back into his seat. No one understands if Aemond doesn't resist her push or if she really used brute strength. Through gritted teeth, she points at him with her index finger. “No. Don’t you even dare.”

It's she who takes light steps and disappears upstairs, following Floris. Aemond shifts uncomfortably.

“I wouldn't do it if I were you,” Aegon warns.

“Man. What the hell?” Daeron sighs, running his hands over his face. “How long has this been going on?”

"I don't know. It happened a couple of times in our graduation year, and then we met each other last year, and... I don't know. It's been...”

“Aemond, right now, no one has a worse opinion of you than I do,” Helaena tells him, placing a hand over her heart. “Who did you screw?”

He puts his hand on the bridge of his nose. “Mrs. Rivers.”

“The health teacher? Seriously?” Aegon jokes.

“And you didn't think, I don't know, to break up with your long term girlfriend before doing it? Or after?” Logan intervenes. Aemond looks at him seriously.

“Who the hell do you think you are?”

“Hey,” Helaena tells him. “He's a friend.”

“He's not my friend,” Aemond hisses. “He's just a stranger who came to our door like a lost puppy.”

Aemond stands up and disappears, not up the stairs but towards the dining room, and Aegon is almost sure he hears him heading to the yard. Surely to smoke a cigarette secretly from all of them because God forbid he lets his friends and family know that he also feels and makes mistakes and drinks and smokes and is not the perfect child everyone thinks.

“Hm, Willa, do you want to eat something? Would you help me clean this up?” Helaena offers to the girl who looks terribly uncomfortable. At the same time, she signals Aegon to check on Aemond.

Aegon shakes his head, and Helaena stiffens her face. She has a look that's too demanding sometimes that reminds him of his mother's, and it gives him chills. It makes him get up from the couch and hit Daeron's shoulder to follow him to the yard.

He obeys, a bit confused. “Where are we going?”

“To see if Aemond is okay.”

“Of course he's okay. He's Aemond. And if we had to be checking if someone is okay, it should be Floris,” he says.

Aegon stops him in his tracks and grabs his shoulders. He looks at his brother, although he's taller than him, he still needs to learn a thing or two. He understands that the age difference between them is enough, but he also understands that Daeron is no longer a child.

“You're a man now, and that means you must learn something about this family. It's a twisted family of fucked–ups, and we screw up every day. I've messed up. Helaena has messed up. Mom and Dad specially, blah, blah. It happens, it's like it's encoded in our DNA. Aemond screws up too, and I'm sure you'll do it someday too. Not necessarily with Willa, it just will happen. And no one understands the feeling better than us,” Aegon explains. “This is what being part of this family is about. And we have an unspoken agreement; no matter what it is, we get through it. We don’t judge. Aemond is our brother, so we are not gonna judge him even though he deserves it.”

“Alright. I understand,” Daeron says and follows his older brother. As they suspected, Aemond is smoking, to the youngest’s impression. “I feel like I don't know you.”

“You don't,” Aemond mutters.

“Are you okay?” Daeron asks, resisting the urge to punch him or roll his eyes. “Why didn't you tell us what happened?”

“Yeah, like I would judge you for it,” Aegon laughs. “I hooked up with mom's pilates instructor while dating Alysanne.”

“Oh my God. I'm not like you, Aegon.”

“Realization sucks, right? It's tough. We've all been there. Fortunately for you, I'm the worst of us,” Aegon laughs. The two youngest ones remain silent, and the sound of crickets is the only thing heard for a moment. “Screw you both. You could try telling me otherwise.”

“Well...” Daeron hisses.

“Fuck you, seriously” Aegon flips them off. “Back to the important stuff. What happened with Floris?”

Aemond gets lost staring at a fixed point on the snow-covered ground, as if he's recalling all the events that led him to do what he did. But he can't. “I don't know,” he confesses sincerely. “I don't...”

“Do you love her?” Daeron asks.

“How could I not love her? She's been with me all my life. And I've been with her all her life. Since we were kids. School, my accident, high school. Birthdays, funerals, parties. She's always been there. We've always been me and her. Just like Helaena and Annika. Or Aegon and… Alcohol.”

“Oh, no. You’re making jokes now?” Daeron panics, and Aegon chuckles. “That doesn't mean you love her. It means you're used to her. And Floris doesn't deserve that. Neither do you.”

“I know she doesn't. She deserves something better,” Aemond says. “And I really care about her, and it hurts to have lost her, and it hurts to think about a life without her.”

Aegon rolls his eyes. “She'll always be there. You know, Helaena will never let go of those two girls. They've always been a pain in the ass for us and always will be. That's the fun part of being us.”

Aegon knows they would always be with them because their friendship with Helaena was not going to end. He knows Annika and Helaena would always be friends. But Aegon and Annika wouldn't always be together.

“I guess you're right.”

“Why didn't you invite me to come here with you?” Daeron asks suddenly. “I could have... I don't know. I understand you didn't want to spend Christmas at home, but I didn't think you wouldn't want to spend it with me.”

“Hey, you didn't want to spend it with us either. Otherwise, why did you come here with just your girlfriend?” Aegon questions. “We thought you'd get bored, and honestly... You are still not old enough to enter the casino or drink excessively.”

Daeron rolls his eyes. “You think I don't have a fake ID? I could have come with you.”

“And if you had come, we probably would have avoided this nightmare before Christmas situation,” Aemond says, scratching his good eye. “I don't know, I guess it’s hard for us to think you’re not longer a kid.”

“Sometimes it hurts being left out all the time, you know?”

“Welcome to being a Targaryen in the real world,” Aegon says, patting his shoulder. “You're officially invited to our Christmas getaway in 2024. And this time, it will be just the three of us.”

“No, I think I'll go home for Christmas next year,” Aemond shakes his head. “It's a pain in the ass, but not as much as being here in this situation.”

“I shouldn't have asked about the teacher thing,” Daeron laments.

“You had no idea. I didn't even know either,” Aegon sighs. “Did she tell the girls? Helaena seemed surprised. And I don't think Annika knew either.”

Aemond shrugs. “When it happened, she packed her things and didn't say a word to me. We know Floris; she's quiet, reserved, and she won't show what she doesn’t want you to find out. She wouldn't go with Helaena to tell her that her brother is a liar and a cheater, and she wouldn't tell Annika because she's also my friend. Was. Whatever.”

“I don't think she'll stop talking to you; she'll just give you a hard time. You know Annika,” Daeron reassures. “By the way, is it true about the piercing?”

Aegon smirks. “It's true.”

“Did you see it?” Daeron asks, with a grin.

Aemond smacks him on the back of the head. “Have some respect.”

“Oh, I saw it,” and other things. Daeron wants to ask what he has always wanted to ask, but he bites his tongue, remembering the situation that unfolded because of his questions. Aegon notices and appreciates it. “Well, the party is obviously over. We should eat something and go to bed. If we're lucky, the storm won't be so bad, and you can leave tomorrow.”

“Oh, yeah,” Daeron says, suddenly a bit dejected. He actually wants to stay. “Right. That sounds good.”

🧣⋆.ೃ࿔*:･⍣ ೋ *ੈ🎄‧₊˚ . *ੈ✩‧₊˚ ೃ࿐🌟

Annika and Floris made no appearance while the rest had dinner watching a horror movie. The girl went downstairs for some food for Floris and then apologized to Willa and Logan for their absence, going back upstairs with her friend immediately.

Aegon drank more beer with dinner, and as soon as they finished eating, Aemond tried to wash some dishes, then went to his room alone without saying a word. Daeron had looked at Logan and Helaena, who were talking and laughing as if nothing had happened, with a strange expression and asked, “Where do you plan on sleeping?”

Helaena pinched his cheek as if he were a little kid. “You are adorable.”

It was her kind way of telling him to fuck off.

And although Daeron invited Willa to swim in the indoor pool, she claimed she wanted to go to bed, too tired to even breathe. If he had to be honest, all the drama had exhausted him too. So, the gang was reduced to Aegon, Helaena, and Logan. Aegon couldn't stand to third wheel with her little sister and a guy who dresses like some dude out of a Netflix Christmas rom–com , so he grabbed some beers and went up to his room with plans to drink until he passed out.

It doesn't happen.

He grunts and gets out of bed, exhausted from trying to sleep. The drunkenness already is part of his natural mental state.

The only lights on the house are the Christmas tree lights tinkling at a strange pace, and besides the muffled music echoing from the pool and the occasional laughter from Helaena, the only thing that can be heard is the squeaking wind. He makes his way to the kitchen feeling utterly cold; the heating in his room was so high that the change is brutal. He's not going to bother looking for the heating controls at this hour, and the fire in the living room fireplace has almost died down.

The refrigerator light beams on Annika's figure. She's sitting on the counter, with a glass of water, a pack of cigarettes, and staring at her dimly lit phone screen. She's wearing a black and pink satin pyjama set, tank top and shorts, and a somewhat warm robe, but she looks frozen. Her hair is wet.

“Late-night swim?” Aegon asks, startling her. “That brings back memories.”

Annika clicks her tongue. “No, I had to shower. Needed to get Floris's vomit off me.”

“Yikes,” he sticks out his tongue. “How's she doing?”

“Well... She... It's going to be tough.”

"You didn't know about…?”

She shakes her head, putting her phone aside. “No. She came to our flat one day with suitcases and teary eyes, and there was no need for her to say anything. We assumed that, well, she would tell us in her own time. She just said they wouldn't be coming back together, not like other times, and we figured it must be serious because she flew from Boston to New York,” she explains. “Did you know?”

“No, of course not,” he shakes his head. “Hey, don't give Aemond a hard time.”

“I couldn't care less about Aemond.”

“Did she fall asleep?”

“Passed out from crying too much, rather. I can't believe he did this to her. I mean... Ugh. It's something we might have expected from you, certainly not from him.”

“Oh, well,” he shrugs as he takes a seat on the bureau next to her. “I know my limitations, believe it or not. For starters, I would never be in such a closed relationship for so many years. They were in a cage, both of them.”

Annika rolls her eyes. “Can you believe they had a threesome?”

“I know, right?” Aegon laughs, and she joins in. “The kind of stuff I'd expect from you. Trying to revive a relationship that's clearly dead by adding a third party.”

She laughs. “Sounds like something I would do. You know how much I tend to cling to things even when the odds aren't in my favour.”

Aegon sighs. “So...”

“So...?”

“Can I see it?” Aegon suddenly asks, and Annika looks at him confused. “Your piercing.”

“I thought you said you saw it in the shower,” she says, placing the glass of water on the marble table. It makes a noise that feels louder than it actually is, and she squirms uncomfortably at the thought that someone might have heard it and finds them there, alone, together.

For someone who claims to be a loner, Aegon has a constant need for attention and contact, especially if it's from Annika. It's nothing new; he used to pull her braids when they were kids to attract her attention. Now he begs her to let him see her boobs. Normal.

He smiles. “I didn't. Everything was full of steam and foggy.”

“But you saw it. You were there when I got it done,” Annika reminds him, embarrassed. “You gave me the little piece of chocolate when my blood pressure dropped. You put a can of Coke on the back of my neck and helped me button my blouse.”

“First of all, it was Dr. Pepper. And second, it doesn't count because I didn't see it properly. And you left before we could do anything...” He shrugs. Annika squints her eyes. “I want to see it. Please.”

“You exposed me in front of everyone and almost got us caught. Why would I show it to you?”

“Because you're good at giving me what I want,” he says, devilishly smiling as he leans toward her.

“And what about what I want, huh? Not everyone can have what they want. I want a unicorn, for example.”

“I'll buy you a horse and pay to have a surgical pink horn put on it. Damn, I'd pay to have wings attached and teach it to fly if you want a freaking rainbow pegasus,” he roars, his voice deep.

Annika laughs and lowers the strap of her satin pajamas so Aegon can see. Not sure why she does it, but Annika loves to give him what he begs for. He doesn't ask for permission to stroke the side of her breast with his thumb, right at the curve. He moves her wet hair back and sighs as he feels the goosebumps on her skin.

“I like it. Although sometimes I catch it with the towel, and it's a little annoying,” she tries to ignore the fact that he's touching her after months and that when he touches her, her skin turns scarlet, just like everything around her. She looks up to find his gaze. “You were right, anyway.”

Annika never knew how, but it was he who had convinced her to get them because she was so sensitive in that area. Maybe she just wanted to please him, or maybe he knew that Aegon, even if he didn't admit it, knew her very well. He always knew better when it came to her.

“Have you tried it?” He asks.

“No, not really. I'm afraid it might still get infected. Besides...” She paraphrases, and Aegon lightly strokes the surface of her skin with his fingers. Another shiver runs through her, and she falls silent. “We shouldn't.”

“It's Christmas Eve. We're both alone...” He suggests, brushing the tip of his nose against hers. “I know you don't like being alone on holidays. You always have someone to warm your bed. And your options here are quite limited.”

“You're alone because you want to be alone,” Annika tells him, letting out a sigh. “I might have left, Aegon, but you let me go.”

“And you never tried hard enough either,” Aegon retorts. He pushes her swiftly, standing up and cornering her against the kitchen counter, slipping between her legs hanging from the high stool and placing his arms on the counter on either side of her body. Their breaths mix. “Please, let me do it.”

“I mourned you, Aegon,” Annika reminds him. “It hurt, what you did. How you laughed when that woman at the store mistook us for a couple. How you looked me in the eyes and said that what we had was all in my head. It was humiliating. That's why I left, because you hurt me. And after all that, you blame me for not reaching out for you? How can you say that?”

“I would have hurt you worse if you hadn't left, and you know it,” he says. He doesn't ask for permission either when he delicately strokes the tip of the jewelled nipple with care, and Annika hisses, hypersensitive as ever, melting in his hands. He smiles. “There it is. That’s my sweet girl. My favourite girl.”

She doesn't say anything and covers her mouth when he leans and catches her nipple between his teeth carefully. He knows how she likes it best, and the taste of the soft flesh mixed with the metallic aftertaste it’s exceedingly erotic. It's so intense that she has to close her legs together immediately as she feels that tingling sensation, although his body doesn't allow it. The way she feels stimulated inside and out is almost unbearable, and she unconsciously puts her hand through her shorts because she knows Aegon will spend a while playing with her before even doing anything.

When she tries to ease that discomfort, Aegon grabs her wrist and removes her hand from her shorts. She shivers when she loses contact, but he brings her fingers to his mouth to suck them clean, and Annika breathes heavily.

“Please,” she implores, grabbing him by the neck. He knows she's not asking him to fuck her exactly; she's asking for more. She tiptoes, grabs his cheeks, and tries to make him look into her eyes. “Aegon, please.”

He grunts with difficulty. He shoves his hand inside her shorts, pulls her underwear to a side and, without warning, shoves two fingers in; she's so wet that it offers no resistance.

“Isn't this enough?” He asks, moving the way he knows she likes. Annika opens her mouth and moans against his lips, and through the refrigerator light, he sees her wet eyes and a tear sliding down her cheek. “Why isn't this enough, huh?”

Why am I not enough for you? If I were, maybe we could be.

“I want...”

“No,” he hisses to silence her and prevent her from finishing that sentence. “You want to come on my fingers, that's all. You want my body. And I want yours. That's it.”

No, it's not.

She shakes her head. He doesn't stop, feeling Annika's heart beating against his own chest and how she tightens around his fingers as she struggles to stay still and not make any loud noises.

“I want you,” she tells him, quickly and muffled in a moan, against his lips when she orgasms. Aegon kisses her and swallows the pathetic declaration she utters, holding her with the other hand to feel her close before she goes away forever, but she seems to read his mind. “It's me, Aegon. Me. I'm not going to leave, and I want you. And I want everything from you.”

He wishes he could say yes to her, but he doesn't. He can't do that to Helaena, no matter how much he desires the same. He has to sort out his life first. He's not going to stop drinking. He can't see himself working in his father's company, marrying her, having children. He can't see himself disappointing her over and over when he turns out not to be what she wants.

She wasn't raised for the conventional either. She also has an intense fear of abandonment that would make her do anything for him to stay. This ends in two ways; either she leaves when she realizes she made a mistake and hates herself for letting herself be hurt by him, or she becomes an unknown version that assembles and disassembles for his entertainment.

In both scenarios, he loses her. Physically and emotionally. Two sides of the same coin.

Aemond couldn't stand a relationship of so many years and cheated on Floris. Aemond. The perfect son, Aemond. The perfect boyfriend, Aemond. The gentleman who would propose as soon as he graduated from college, buy an apartment, provide for his family, and have Alicent's first grandchildren...

“Say something,” Annika begs him, pulling him out of the thoughts that have fallen one after the other like a row of dominoes. She clings to him while with the other hand she runs it over his bare torso. He hasn't realized that he no longer feels cold. “Aegon. Anything. Anything, please.”

He can't.

“This is who I am. This is what I can offer you.”

“I'm not a child anymore. I don't want to fly to another country to see each other in secret and act like a couple for two weeks just for you to discard me like trash and go fuck someone else when you’re bored of me.”

He’s never bored of her, though. He just drinks her away. Smokes her away. Fucks her away.

And he knows it's been enough when she sobs.

He puts his hands over hers and separates her from his body. Now he feels the cold of Aspen again. If there was mistletoe above their heads, it's most likely withered. He gives her a kiss on the forehead and wipes away the tears falling down her cheeks.

“I'll leave my door open,” he warns her as he walks toward his room without looking back. But he knows it's useless; Annika won't come.

He leaves her crying in the kitchen, silently, on Christmas Eve. Because that's the kind of person he is. Annika knows. She has always known. She has seen the girls crying in the kitchen before; this time is no different. She has seen the girlfriends he brought on family trips. How he runs them dry. How he breaks their souls.

But Aegon knows that Annika is not like them. He knows that Annika means much more than anyone else. And he knows he can't. He would feel like a bird trapped in a box. He would make her miserable...

He promised to her mother he wouldn’t.

And he knows she deserves something better.

“At least admit it,” she asks him, from the other end of the kitchen when he's about to cross the door. He doesn't turn to look at her. “At least admit that it was real.”

But he leaves nonetheless.

🧣⋆.ೃ��*:･⍣ ೋ *ੈ🎄‧₊˚ . *ੈ✩‧₊˚ ೃ࿐🌟

Freya died when Annika was fifteen, and Aegon seventeen. She had been diagnosed with one of those strange and lethal diseases a few months earlier. Aegon couldn't remember the name, but they had told him. He still doesn't know why to this day.

Perhaps because he was the eldest. Because Alicent had pushed him out first, a measly two years before Helaena, and two measly years before Freya gave birth to her daughter. Annika only found out about her mother's illness a month before she passed away. And when it started to get ugly, her parents sent her away. She couldn't be with her when she died, couldn't say goodbye, couldn't ever come to terms with it...

And she never found out that Aegon knew all along.

Alicent had always told him that he had to take care of his younger siblings and, by extension, Annika, who seemed more like a sister to Helaena than he ever was. Annika wiped Helaena’s tears and Annika fought Helaena’s bullies and even Aemond’s at times. Freya said that Annika could take care of herself, but she wouldn't object to having Aegon around. At times, Aegon might have felt that Freya was the only person who still saw him as the golden child and not as the boy who fucked up everything he touched. Freya would entrust Aegon with her most precious possession without a second thought.

But one day, on one of those days when she was pretending to be okay for her daughter's sake, she saw Aegon drinking his third glass of the evening and shook her head. She put a hand on his shoulder and sighed. “I'm not going to ask you to take care of her once I’m gone; it's not your responsibility. But it would hurt me a lot if you were the one who ends up hurting her.”

Two years later, he went off to college and said he wanted nothing to do with that damn debutante ball, but he made the damn mistake of attending anyway.

The rest is a story not fit for Christmas.

🧣⋆.ೃ࿔*:･⍣ ೋ *ੈ🎄‧₊˚ . *ੈ✩‧₊˚ ೃ࿐🌟

The holidays should be a time of love and peace, and yet, in the Targaryen Aspen retreat cabin, the only festive thing is the fact the atmosphere is as bitter as the mistletoe. Helaena, Logan, and Willa, the designated cooks and the only ones who seem to know how to use the stove and microwave, are the ones preparing breakfast. Floris sits on the windowsill, watching as the snow falls heavily and sticking to the ground outside. The noise of the television and the crackling fire is all that can be heard.

Aemond and Daeron play a game of express chess after setting things on the coffee table for breakfast. Aegon watches them while smoking a cigarette inside, much to Helaena's dismay, as he has no desire to step onto the icy exterior.

Annika is the last to appear, wearing those ridiculous fur boots and a pink Chanel sweater with a Camellia logo. Her steps and the sound of the two huge suitcases being dragged down the stairs make everyone look towards the staircase, desperate for someone to break the ice. She shrinks under the attention, very uncharacteristic of her, and Aegon sees Helaena and Floris exchange worried glances.

“What are you doing?” She asks, watching them prepare pancakes for breakfast.

“Breakfast,” Willa says. “Do you want coffee?”

She shakes her head. “No, I don't want coffee. I want to leave. The night has passed. I thought everyone would be ready to leave. Usually, I'm always the last to be ready.”

“You can't leave. The roads are filled with snow that probably no one will clear until after Christmas. There was a storm last night. It's not safe,” Logan reminds her, pointing to the TV where the weatherman urges residents and visitors to stay indoors until further notice. “Even if you could cross the road, there are no flights available.”

Annika smiles and takes off the sunglasses she was wearing. “No, I'll ask my dad to send his pilot, duh. I'm not taking any commercial flights. I wanted to ski for Christmas, and that's what I'm going to do. I'm going to the nearest place with snow and a sauna.”

Daeron and Aemond look at each other, aware that the unpleasant part of Annika is speaking. Something is wrong.

“Well, I don't want to leave. We're here already, we can make it worthwhile,” Hel tells her. Annika rolls her eyes.

“Fine, you stay. Floris?”

She opens her mouth and sighs. “It's not that I want to stay, but flying in these conditions... I don't know. It's only two more days. Maybe even tomorrow we can leave. I'm not going to risk it.”

“Great. I guess it's just me,” Annika grumbles, grabbing her suitcases. “Well, have fun, I suppose. Au revoir. Arrivederci. Goodbye. Chau.”

“I'll go,” Floris says, resigned, and walks behind her. Daeron does the same, and Aegon follows them out of pure curiosity. “Annika, you can't leave!”

“She's right, it's not safe!” Daeron shouts from the door. She has started to drag her suitcases down the stairs with difficulty, the stupid boots slipping on the ice. The car is covered in snow, and it will take her a while to clear it, not to mention that the snow keeps falling.

“Watch me!” She says, reaching the bottom of the stairs with the first suitcase. She holds onto the railing and makes the ascent again, slipping several times. Then she grabs the other suitcase.

“At least let me help you,” Daeron offers. He shakes off the cold and takes Annika's suitcase. She struggles for a moment, insisting she can do it, but he prevails and lifts it.

“Be careful,” Floris says, putting a hand to her mouth. “Annika, would you call when...?”

“Fuck!” Annika yells when she slips down the stairs. Aegon sees her lose balance and fall to her ass, hitting herself several times before reaching the stone path.

If he weren't concerned because he heard her hit her head against a step, he definitely would have burst into laughter. Floris also screams, shocked, and Daeron drops the suitcase in the snow to rush to help her.

“Annika!”

“Daeron, don't throw my suitcase in the damn snow!” She reproaches him, holding her head with one hand.

“Yeah, she’s okay,” Aegon deduces, descending the porch steps carefully. Annika doesn't even acknowledge his existence.

“What happened?” Helaena asks, coming out with the rest through the front door. “Oh, God. Are you alright?”

“I'm fine. I tripped,” she admits, defeated. Daeron and Floris take one of each arm and help her to her feet. When she stands and puts her weight on her feet, she begins to whimper in pain and holds onto both. “Ouch, ouch!”

“What's happening?” Daeron asks.

“My ankle!” She complains. “It hurts, hurts! Oh, God. What if it’s broken? What if I can't walk ever again?”

“Calm down. I don't think it's broken; if it were, you'd be crying,” Logan tells her, quickly descending the stairs. He replaces Floris' grip on one side of her body. “Can you put weight on it?”

“No, it hurts like a son of a bitch. Shit,” Annika moans, and Logan lifts her into his arms to take her back into the house. “Daeron! Bring my suitcases!”

He sighs but obeys. The last thing he wants is to bother her more than she already seems. Everyone enters behind Logan, and he takes her to the living room while Floris cleans the melting snowflakes from her hair.

Logan leaves her on the couch and sits in front of her on the coffee table, resting her foot on his lap. Without asking for permission, he tries to untie the boot, but he doesn't understand much about its operation. He tries to remove it with pressure, but she screams and writhes in pain.

“No, no! Don't do that!” She scolds him. “Damn it. I can't believe it.”

“I don't want to say I told you so, but I told you so,” Floris says, arms crossed. “Those boots are the death of you.”

“Maybe we just need to cut the boot off,” suggests Aemond.

Annika throws a cushion at him for the brutal idea.

“Not the Moschino. No!”

“It's probably just a sprain. But either we cut it off, or I could still trying to take it off and hurt you even more,” Logan tells her.

“I would sacrifice the boot,” Helaena tries to reason. “We can get another pair. You can't get another foot; that's for sure.”

“Kill me. Kill me now,” she says, bringing a cushion to her face and screaming into it. “Fine. Cut them. Kill them. Just do it quickly. I don't want to see.”

Helaena squeezes her shoulder, standing behind the sofa where Annika has put her head on the backrest and taken the cushion to her face. Willa hands Logan a knife, who puts it through the boot and tries to cut the material with considerable difficulty while Annika whimpers. If one were to see the scene from a distance, they would probably think they were cutting off her foot.

When he removes the boot and the thermal sock, everyone analyses the extremely swollen ankle with disgust.

“Is it bad?” She asks, removing the cushion from her face but not daring to speak. Aegon puts it back on her face, wrinkling his nose, but she hits him. “Don't touch me. Logan. Is it really bad?”

“Well...”

She opens her eyes wide. “Oh, my God!”

“Hey, don't worry,” he tries to calm her, patting her knee gently when she starts to cry. “You'll be fine. Painkillers, rest, and lots of ice. Everything will be fine; you'll be walking in—“

“Give it to me,” she reaches out her arms.

“What?” Logan asks, confused.

Aemond lightly hits his arm. “She means the boot.”

“The... The boot?”

Aegon nods. “Yes, she's crying over the boot.”

“It was so beautiful!” She exclaims when Willa hands it to her, and she hugs it with distress. “It's not fair. I bought them on our trip to Milan. They were the last pair. Do you remember, Flo? Do you remember how we were walking, and I saw them in the shop window, and...?”

Logan looks around, not understanding how no one seems surprised or confused by the girl's attitude. It's Daeron who whispers in his ear, “She cries over trivial things to avoid crying about what she really has to cry about. The odds of her being incredibly sore are very high, but she won't admit it.”

“Oh, well,” he scratches his neck, uncomfortable. “Bring her some ice. Try not to put weight on your foot for a while and keep it elevated.”

“Hey, look on the bright side. At least you didn't ruin your cashmere sweater,” Helaena says cheerfully. Willa frowns, observing her pink sweater for a moment.

“I want to go home,” she protests. “Why does everything have to happen to me?”

“It'll be okay. We'll have breakfast so you don't take a painkiller on an empty stomach, and you can try to leave when the swelling goes down,” Logan reassures her, getting up from the table and walking to the kitchen. Then he turns to Floris. “Yeah, she's not going anywhere. Not today, at least.”

Floris bites her lip, a little amused, and shakes her head. “A Christmas Eve to remember,” she says, and then helps everyone set the table for breakfast.

By mid–afternoon, everyone has had a few drinks and taken a dip in the indoor pool. Floris and Aemond maintain an incredibly mature distance, astonishing Aegon as he discusses it with Willa. Daeron seems to have become very friendly with Logan.

Annika didn't want to move, and in a sour mood stayed on the couch watching some stupid Christmas movie.

“They are cute,” Willa says, referring to Helaena and Logan. Her red curls are dripping water, and she holds onto the edge of the pool while sipping a sip of a daiquiri Aegon made for her.

“Whatever,” he says, rolling his eyes.

“Don't you like someone making her laugh? Daeron always says she's a pretty lonely person and has a hard time getting along with others.”

“Aren't we all?” He chuckles. “I guess... It's always us who bring our girlfriends home. I mean, if we don't count the little friend Daeron brought home at seven years old who started crying when he showed her Aemond's snake, and his mother picked her up half an hour later, you would officially be the first girl Daeron brought. And Aemond and Floris have been together forever. And I...”

“Bring a different girl to every gathering?” Willa laughs.

“Yeah, as pathetic as that sounds,” he continues. “The point is, Helaena has never brought anyone else but Annika. She's her person. We got so used to it that now it's weird to see her with someone else. I don't think any of us realized that one day we would meet her partner.”

“It's weird. They seem to have that confidence that makes you think they've known each other forever,” she ponders. “Anyway, it's nice that they get along. She can't be with Annika all the time, I think. Eventually, they'll have to find a significant other.”

He dips his head in the pool to avoid hearing the last words and then emerges, leaning his elbows on the pool's edge, rubbing the water off his eyes.

“And that will be a great day for everyone,” he sighs ironically. Willa inspects him carefully. “What?”

“Nothing,” she shrugs. “I mean... I'm very observant.”

“Yeah, I remember. A very curious little mouse, I told Daeron.”

“When we went to your house in San Francisco, do you remember the day it got really cold, and the airline had lost my luggage?”

“Hm, vaguely.”

“You gave me a sweater to wear while Daeron and I replaced my clothes.”

“I did?”

“Yes. You told me to be careful not to ruin it,” Willa tries to make him remember. “It was a pink cashmere sweater with a Camellia. Like the one Annika's wearing.”

Aegon bites his cheek. He knew he shouldn't lend the clothes Annika had forgotten at his apartment. Man, Annika never lends her clothes. How could he be so stupid?

“Sure... It's… It was mine. We bought it on sale. You know, two for the price of one,” he says, nervously laughing. He’s more worried about Annika finding out he lend her sweater. “It's very soft, much softer than any other fabric. I like wearing it. Yes. And I love pink. I have that sweater at home, and a lot of other pink clothes. I'd show you...”

“Aegon,” she sighs amused. “I'm not going to say anything.”

“You're not going to say anything about what?” He asks, trying not to sound mortified.

“You and Annika,” she murmurs, so only he can hear.

Aegon laughs. “There's no me and Annika.”

“You knew about her piercing, and she looked too worried when you mentioned it, but not surprised. Come on. I think everyone knows; they're just waiting for you two to say it and pretending not to know,” Willa tells him.

“There's nothing to say. It was... Nothing. Just something physical. It didn't mean anything.”

“What didn't mean anything?” Daeron asks, appearing out of nowhere behind Willa and hugging her around the waist. “Is Aegon bothering you?”

“I think I'm bothering him,” she says playfully.

He climbs onto the pool's edge, coming out of the water dripping, and walks to grab a towel without saying a word. After almost completely drying himself, he goes to the living room where Annika watches the Grinch, sitting in the same position they left her, with a blanket over her lap and ice over her head.

“He looks like you,” he tells her, ignoring the fact that he left her crying in the kitchen the night before. He always does that.

“I'm not in the mood,” she says, not moving her eyes from the screen. He peeks behind her and shakes his head to wet her. “Bite me.”

“Aren’t you a delight,” he says, taking a seat next to her. “Are you in pain?”

“No,” she replies, arms crossed and clearly a bit drowsy from the painkillers, without even looking at him.

“I thought we called on a truce.”

“I think we shouldn't talk at all,” she tells him. The indifferent tone stirs something acidic in Aegon's chest, and he squirms with sadness. “Oh, sorry. Was I too harsh?”

“I don't understand why you're angry. I should be angry. You gave me the blue balls. At least you got to finish.”

She looks at him and lets out a laugh. “I can't stand you.”

“Where do you think you're going?” He asks when he sees her trying to get up.

“Far away from you,” she says, being careful not to put weight on her foot. Aegon takes her arm and throws her back on the couch. She lets out a groan and wriggles, trying to escape his grip, but he holds her by the waist and presses her to his chest. “Let me go.”

“There’s something you need to know. Willa knows about us,” he warns, putting his mouth to her ear. She shifts uncomfortably. “It's just a matter of time before everyone finds out.”

“Then you kill her to keep the secret. God forbid someone finds out you touched me, or even looked in my direction.”

“Do you think that's the problem?” He asks, his palm resting on her stomach, lips against her neck. “You think I care if anyone finds out?”

“You made it pretty clear.”

“Do you want me to make you come again in this sofa where anyone could walk in and see us?” He asks, kissing her under the ear as he moves his hand from her navel to her centre. “You might understand that’s not what I’m worrying about, then.”

Annika hits his hand off and lets go of his grip. “No. I want you to leave. I'm serious. I don't want you to talk to me, look at me, or breathe in my direction. I don't want you near.”

He smiles crookedly. “Definitely harsh.”

“Go away. I can't go up the stairs, so I'm asking you to leave.”

She leans back against the backrest and covers herself with the blanket, resting her cheek on her hand. Aegon sighs in defeat. He’s not used to being rejected by her, if she ever got complicated usually some sweet talking and his fingers worked like charm to remedy her.

“Annika...”

“I don't want to hear your pathetic excuses,” she says. “You can take your blue balls and shove them in the snow as far as I’m concerned. And if you feel lonely, you have two hands.”

He looks at his hands.

It would hurt me a lot if you hurt her.

If he stays, he'll hurt her. If he leaves, he'll hurt her.

Freya was wrong. His mother, too. He can’t take care of her.

“Can I stay here and watch the movie at least?” He sighs, noticeably tired. She looks at him sideways and doesn't answer, but gives him a piece of her blanket. He settles a bit closer to her and curls up in his place, feeling a bit cold. “Do you want something to drink?”

“I want you to shut up.”

He nods. “Okay. Deal. I'll shut up.”

But he can't. He glances at her certain times, focused on the movie and looking as unhappy as ever. He clicks his tongue.

“You know...”

“No. I don't want to know.”

“Fine,” he nods again. Moves his leg frantically and manages to keep quiet for two full minutes. “But, if you think about it...”

Annika puts the TV on mute and turns to look at him. He stays silent when those green eyes haunt him. “It was real. It wasn't a waste of time. I wasn't just another one of your girls. It was different. It always has been. You were there, and it was real.”

“Of course, it wasn't a waste of time,” he starts saying. Freya's voice drills into his head. It would hurt me a lot if you hurt her. “And it was real.”

“And why don't you admit it?”

“What do you want me to admit?” He sighs, tired, and rests his cheek on the back of the sofa. Silver hair wets the green fabric, but he doesn't care.

“That you want me.”

“I can show you how hard I am so that –“

“That you love me,” she corrects.

He tries to escape, almost panicked, but she takes his cheeks and forces him to look at her. Her eyes are hypnotic. Her cheeks. Her skin. Her hair. The nose and eyelids reddened from crying so much because of him.

Of course, he does.

She's so close that their lips almost touch. He has leaned over her, because he does love her. Because she's right. And she no longer wants to run away... But he can't say it. However, he finds another way to be honest.

“I knew when your mother got sick,” he says, delicate as if confessing a sin. “I always knew. And she told me I shouldn't take care of you because you could take care of yourself, but that the idea of me hurting you would sadden her. I can’t do that to her.”

She leans back even though he tries to kiss her. She moves back so much that it cuts through his chest.

“What?” She gasps, not understanding. “What... What are you talking about? What does that even mean?”

And there's more. And there's so much you don't know. Because I've loved you since we were kids. Because I've taken care of you since we were kids. You don't have the right to treat me like a villain. I've always taken care of you. This time is no different.

“Aegon,” she calls him, in a sob. But he doesn't react, so she hits him in the chest. “Are you fucking kidding me? Why would you say something like that? Why would you even –“

“Because it's the truth. You wanted to know the truth. There it is,” he says. “We can't be together, Annika. I've learned to live with that, and you should too.”

🧣⋆.ೃ࿔*:･⍣ ೋ *ੈ🎄‧₊˚ . *ੈ✩‧₊˚ ೃ࿐🌟

Floris pours herself a glass of water while Aemond looks at her with a dangerously careful gaze. He has always been tough, since they were kids, and it worsened after the incident with his eye. The sapphire only makes him appear tougher, ruthless, even.

But Floris cannot see anything other than his good side. His heart. The way he cares about his family, even Annika, with whom he always had a somewhat distant relationship. He cares.

That's why it was strange when she found him with their professor. It wasn't strange to have packed her things and taken the next flight to move from one state to another in less than six hours though.

He didn't object.

It's the first time they see each other, and there's a lot to say. He sent her things, and everyone moved on. She doesn't know what happened to the apartment or that damn snake of his that wouldn't let her have a puppy because it might eat it.

“Floris,” he finally calls her. She can't look at him. She can't see the person who cares and matters to her, who would never have hurt her. It's a different person standing beside her. “Please, look at me. We need to talk.”

She shakes her head. “We don't need to talk.”

“We need to clear things up.”

She smiles ironically. “What do you want to clarify? You slept with a teacher multiple times over these past few years and brought her to my house, to my bed. Do you have a valid reason? Other than the fact that you obviously no longer love me?”

Aemond weighs it for a moment. And then nods.

“I do love you.”

She laughs. “Sure.”

“You're my best friend. The best I've ever had in my life.”

“And then? Why did you do this to me?” She asks. There's no anger in her tone, as if the anger had dissipated after the exhaustive conversation with Annika, who she covered in snot and vomit. It's curiosity, no more, no less. It's intrigue.

“It has nothing to do with you.”

“I know I have my issues, but I firmly believe I've never done anything to hurt you. Not intentionally at least. I haven't been a bad girlfriend or a bad friend either. So, I ask you again, if you love me, why did you do this to me?”

“Because I love you,” he nods. “It's easy for me to love you, Flo. It's warm, and you feel like home to me. But I'm not a kid anymore, and neither are you. Adults have to leave their homes to create their own paths.”

Her eyes fill with tears. “I thought we were happy.”

“We were. I am. And I really don't want to lose you... But I cannot keep doing this,” he sighs, and gently takes her hand. “I'm sorry. It was stupid. And I don't think you can forgive me, but...”

“You're right, I can't,” she tells him, sniffing. “You should have told me what you felt when you felt it. You shouldn’t have let me waste all this past years. We could have found a solution; we did when, you know… Or we could have... –“

“Flo, there was nothing else to do. We tried everything,” Aemond tells her, a bit firmer now. “You don't love me in that way either. I know you, and I'm sorry. I've felt this distance between us for a while. You're not happy in Boston. You're happier with Annika and Helaena in New York. You would be happier if you had a dog instead of a snake. You would be happy if you explored a bit of who you are and what you want to be besides me.”

She sobs. “How am I supposed to go on after this?”

Aemond knows she might not, but maybe, after all, it's the only way for her to understand that between them, there's nothing but the love they've outgrown. Childish, puppy love.

“I'm sorry. It was stupid. And I'm not even seeing her. I guess I needed a getaway car, and that's the one I found... I guess you'll have to be the better person here and forgive me. It will take time, but I hope you know that I really mean it when I say I regret what I did to yoy.”

Floris clicks her tongue and rubs her face with her hands. “Well, you never apologized for anything. So I guess you are saying the truth. But it only makes me feel worse because this means you screwed up big time and you’re aware of it.”

He lets out a little laugh and leans in to kiss her on the forehead. “You taught me a lot. More than anyone else in my life. You gave me everything you could, and it's time for both of us to move on with what we taught to each other. When you're ready, when you're at peace... I hope I can be your friend again. Because I can't bear the thought of you not being in my life anymore.”

She understands what he means. Not in a romantic way, but they know each other too well. No one will ever know him so much, and vice versa. No one will ever live what they lived together.

“I’m always gonna love you,” she confesses. Again, not in a romantic way, but there's no need to clarify that.

Aemond tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. “I’m always gonna love you, too.”

“I need time. A lot. When I go back to New York, I'm going to transfer a university there. I fell behind a bit, but I'll catch up. I'll go to therapy, and I'll learn to forgive you. But I don't want to see you for a while.”

It hurts him almost as much as the pain that sometimes paralyzes half of his face.

But he knows he deserves it.

“You'll be fine,” he tells her. “You were always… Resilient. More so than me.”

“I know,” Flo smiles. “I’ll be fine. I got my girls with me.”

[narrators-journal]

How about a P2 EP “what-if” fic about Jun and Tatsuya both being Deja Vu boys and saving the world together while trying to avoid Maya and the Adult EP gang? Maybe when Tatsuya bumps into Maya at the end of IS, Jun helps him pick up the papers and when their eyes meet they remember everything and both go “Oh. No.” Maybe when Tatsuya goes to the shrine again he sees Jun they exchange keepsakes and both decide to work together to fix everything. Jun could have a brand like Tatsuya but instead of it being hands it’s a winding pattern of thorny rose stems. Maybe Jun can let Tatsuya stay in his apartment because he knows Tatsuya is scared of encountering his brother. You can probably shove a lot of romantic stuff in there, too. They would absolutely still be in love despite the events. (I’m sorry I might’ve put way too much thought into this idea)

Okay, so this might be very rough, but I tried my best. The main issue with trying to write this was mainly the fact that this sort of prompt is far too big for a simple scenario. This would require a whole entire fic, probably of the same length or longer than my own Ryomina story, just to cover the complexities that would awaken in the story. Which! Is a story I WHOLEHEARTEDLY encourage you to write! This is a WONDERFUL idea! Go, be free, write your tale dude! Take inspiration from my interpretations of the characters if you want, or, if you’re not an authorial type, draw it as a comic. Either way, I encourage you to make it bc holy shit do I wanna read it lol.

That being said, because the plot would be too dense to write as a simple scenario, I tried to zero in on the emotional side of things. I hope that is clear, and I hope you enjoy this little glimpse into what feels like a much, much bigger au lol.

Sumaru was an easy place to take for granted when you lived there for eighteen years of your life. If Jun had lived anywhere else, he no longer remembered it. So, it had taken the end of the world as he knew it for Jun to appreciate all of the things he’d missed in his own misery.

The friendliness of the strangers, the safety that allowed children to run around and play at Alaya or go shopping for their parents, and the energy that the town had with its colorful nightlife and the chaos that teenagers discovered when their usual hangouts were closed for the night. It was all superficial, and Jun knew too well how tainted those joys were with the cruelty of his peers, his parents, or humanity in general. But, after he’d bumped into that brunette in front of the train station and had to awkwardly explain why he had a long empty lighter that fell out of his pocket, he began to see the good side of that darkness too.

Or, maybe it had been the other way around. The ravenette had begun to see the darkness hidden within his ideal life. His mother’s adoration and support for him was now backlit by the ego she had as an actress. His father’s hardworking, studious nature felt one step away from an absent, neglectful chase for whatever passion he had in the moment. It was as if that awkward brunette had struck the spark wheel of his lighter and illuminated the parts of Jun’s life that he didn’t want to see.

Then had come the nightmares. Dreams of wings ripping from his ribcage, of burning shrines and agony-rich wails of pain, of his own mother staring back at him, wishing he’d never ‘ruined her body’ and for her career back. After that single five-minute meeting with the brunette, almost every night had been plagued with memories so bad that more than once Jun had been shaken awake by his mother or father.

One meeting. One chance encounter on his way to school, Jun Kashihara’s life had begun to fall apart like a precarious house of cards. How did that fucking lighter even get on the sidewalk? It was deep in my damned pocket. He fumed as he stood across the street of seven sisters high. The schoolyard quiet for the moment. And why am I even looking for this bastard? If anything, he’s the reason my life’s like this now. Plus! I don’t even go to this damned school anymore! Though, despite that thought, the small ravenette stayed put on the bench with a burr stuck in his gut.

“Don’t you go to Kasugayama?”

Jun jumped and spun around to look up at the tall brunette who had seemingly manifested out of his thoughts to stand beside the bench. However, as the ravenette looked up at the man, he could tell that he’d gone through a similar shift that he had.

Those warm brown eyes had been lively and bright when they’d first met, and his pageboy haircut had been well-brushed and washed. Now, Tatsuya’s hair was a disheveled, unwashed mess, and his eyes had darkened with the weight of the apocalypse he’d witnessed, with bags beneath them to tell of the nights he undoubtedly didn’t sleep. Hell, even his sun-kissed skin seemed paler than before. “You’ve remembered too, haven’t you?” Jun asked without thinking, the heartache that filled his chest audible in his words while he watched the tall brunette tense up and study his face. So, for a long moment, the two of them sat in a silence that was only broken when the school bell screamed across the street. Yet, even as students poured out into the street to go home or to the shops, or to hang out with friends, the two men simply sat and stared at one another in a silent conversation. Until, at long last, Tatsuya spoke once more, this time in a harsh whisper. “I’m so sorry, Jun…” And, despite how he wanted to argue, or offer some form of comfort to soothe the pain that glittered in those dark eyes, he couldn’t bring himself to do more than open his mouth a few times. Some part of him wanted to reach out and grab one of Tatsuya’s shaking hands, to do anything to help him. But, all he could do was sit in silence on the bench and turn his eyes back to the throngs of chatty teens who went about their days. Blissfully unaware of the deranged gods playing with their lives like chess pieces. If either of us should be apologizing, it should be me… Was the best he could do, and even then he couldn’t find the words to voice it.

And, after a moment, Tatsuya sunk onto the bench beside the dark-haired man. So, they both simply sat and watched the people around them live their lives. And, to some degree, Jun figured that was all the two of them could really do for the moment.

[tjakev]

Stance regarding the Vefve situation

(TL;DR for those who suffer Attention Deficit like I do)

While yes what vefve has made is undeniably weird, I don’t think it’s a justification to those who are becoming almost unhealthy obsessed and will dedicate their entire blog to hating on Vevfe.

LONG STATEMENT:

I’ve been following this whole Vefve situation for a bit now, it’s insane to consider since I wouldn’t even be on tumblr without Vefve via their about page on youtube.

So when I started browsing and discovered this overwhelming hate for Vefve I was initially shocked and yet also intrigued, I learned more. By the end of it, I came to the conclusion that there were parts that were well deserving of Criticism, and others that I think were kind of overblown, mainly by a small yet vocal minority of especially butthurt Vefve Critics, to the point where it was creepy within itself.

I’ll start with the stuff I believe is worth critiquing, then the stuff I’m 50/50 on, then with the stuff I feel like was overblown, ending with how bad some have been about this whole shebang.

The Chris x Kennith ship:

This was the one where I felt like it was justified in terms of critiquing, Chris’s entire schtick is he’s a self entitled manipulative scumbag who has no issue mentally breaking down people one by one, and he’ll smile the whole way through. While Kennith was a Homosexual who was gullible, manipulated by Evelyn into basically almost causing an apocalyptic style mass murder and ended up taking his own life. So to ship One of the most Manipulative characters with one of the most Mentally destroyed is like trying to mix Water and Oil, it’s completely backwards in terms of logic and common sense. I know Vefve has this whole Fnaf fan styled “Alternate Universe” where the characters are slightly tweaked, but removing Chris’s manipulative behavior is like removing Frank Sinatra’s ability to sing, you completely remove the entire reason Chris is the way he is.

Not to mention the two were born almost a century apart, and Chris’s soul stayed in the Manor making it almost impossible for the two to really meet.

Vefve’s Immaturity and Echochamber:

Another thing that Chrisoncrack brought up as their main argument was how immature Vefve was and has been throughout this whole 2-3 month scandal. Their inability to take criticism and feedback, mostly bad feedback, is the whole thing that’s been stirring the pot that is this drama.

Instead of either Apologizing or standing her own ground(IN A MATURE MANNER). She instead throws a hissy fit and blocks anyone who dares to give her the slightest pushback, I’ve seen many and talked to many who’ve been blocked for some of the most simplistic call out posts or comments, hell they don’t even need to do that! They just need to simply reblog someone else’s posts and BOOM you’re blocked. Also I’m fully aware Vefve will probably block me too, not remembering I can use Alt accounts or Safari lol.

Vefve also constantly teases the people criticizing her by drawing art of the Chris and Kennith stuff(which I’ll go into depth about next).

Next is the topic I’m 50/50 about.

Vefve self shipping with Chris:

I’ve seen many people get mad at how Vefve self ships/simps for Christopher Pierre(which does explain why she washed any manipulative habits of his away but I digress).

Chris is 17 while Vefve is 23 meaning that it would be considered Pedophillic or illegal for Vefve to ship themselves with Chris. Now yes, I 100% agree that it’s odd to be an adult and ship yourself with someone who is underage. Where I become divided on this is the fact that 1. She has been shipping herself with Chris since she’s been apart of the community, which has been 5-6 years meaning that she was 16-17 when she started shipping herself with Chris. Aka a minor, so this isn’t an instance of an adult whose shipping themselves with a minor all the sudden while they’re an adult. This is an instance of a minor shipping themselves with another minor, but Vefve became an adult after the fact.

Once again I still think it’s weird, in general I think self shipping is weird in general. But I don’t think we should be throwing the word Pedophile with Vefve without substantial evidence, especially when entire peoples careers like Alex Kister and Pyrocynical have been almost thrown away because of false Pedophile allegations people threw around and everyone accepted.

Finally onto the only overblown topic:

Vefve’s fan comic and the Necrophilia Accusations.

Oh boy I might get some shit because of this, but honestly I didn’t think from at least what I’ve read that the comic isn’t that bad. Is it weird to have these Characters who represent various forms of Trauma and Abuse be Halloween monsters, yes. Is it weird Chris killed kennith and then basically made out with his decapitated head, of course.

But to say that there was this underlining tone or message of Necrophilia is a WILD thing to say. I don’t like the comic either and I sorta don’t wanna defend it . But The comic is about horror and as such the part of Chris kissing Kennith’s head was probably written to be an extreme form of horror. But to say that this is Vevfe’s underlying fetish is a very out of pocket thing to say and the fact she’s being harassed over this fact amazes me. Because this is exactly what happened to the creator of “The Coffin of Andy and Leyley”. Where a part of the game has the siblings “do the do”. Which was supposed to be a shock value moment and supposed to be taken as a bad ending. Turned into people accusing the creator of being into incest, to the point where the harassment was so bad they had to sell the rights and basically erase their own existence off the internet.

And I don’t think we should be accusing someone because they decided to add a form of horror to their horror based story, I know authors will often add stuff in their story’s that’s underlying of their actual motives and thought process. But it’s one thing if it gets really nsfw and sexual and constant in their works and it’s another thing if it’s a one and done thing in the media.

Now let’s get onto the echo chambers on BOTH sides of the spectrum.

First starting with Vefve fans, I’ve been seeing a lot of things fans of Vefve have been doing that is insane, from the metaphorical meat riding of her to apparently doxxing someone on tik tok. It’s honestly wild how close minded her defenders are, I get defending what you love but Jesus, there’s defending someone and then there’s ruining someone else’s life over petty tumblr drama most won’t care about or remember in 5 years.

This goes both ways, I won’t name drop who but there’s this user I’ve been noticing who has a massive hate boner for Vefve and anyone who slightly defends her is given the boot and is told to basically kick rocks and fuck off. Even if they have a decent point. Once again it’s okay to defend and criticize someone but if it comprises most of your modern blog page and it becomes this almost obsession, it just makes you look worse than the people you accuse. Go outside, get some Ice cream and go on a walk, trust me, it’s a better way to spend your time than to ramble about tumblr drama in a niche community for months. Trust me I’m already losing my mind after typing this for an hour and a half.

I won’t be bringing this topic up again and anything I need to add will simply be edited into this post cause I don’t like to constantly reignite drama. I only made this cause I wanted to get it out of the way before people started asking me to pick sides and shit. If you have any counter arguments or points you wanna bring up, absolutely feel free to do so! Just PLEASE keep it Civil and friendly.

That’s all, stay tuned for more drawings of Slurpee and Friends I got in the works, Stay cool, stay chill,

AAAAAAAAAND P E A C E

[mewnia]

thank you! i enjoy tales of sunday but i would love to see more oc stuff esp if that's more fun for you too :3

i'd love to ask you some questions about your ocs if you're willing to answer! i've been through the tags but there's definitely more to know about all the characters. one character i didn't see a lot of info on was selah! what's her background like? how did she grow up? what is she getting up to around the time the main story takes place? what's her relationship to the rest of the cast like? her relationship with abriel? what's her general role in the story? any other cool stuff you wanna spill? you can answer as many or as few of these questions as you like! i'd love to read your ramblings :p

Ahhh I love my girl Selah! She’s one of the more straight-forward characters so I often don’t have to draw concepts for her, if that makes sense? I probably should, it would help me connect with her character more!

She’s a very silly girl, at heart. A reference that I usually follow is relating her to Jessie from Toy Story but more farmer-ish rather than cowboy. She definitely follows her gut. Selah and Abriel’s family are farmers of medicinal herbs protected by Autumnest’s royal family. These herbs come in extremely handy to both residents of Autumnest and to researchers in Springland. No one knows how they got these herbs. According to Selah, their plants just one day started having healing properties!

To other characters, Selah is a sibling all-around! Her more focused relationships (besides Abriel) are with Ella and Mel. Selah relates to Ella’s predicament with her father, who is ill, and knows one day Ella will need support to deal with what’s coming. Meanwhile, Selah is so energetic and playful, she’s a breath of fresh air for Ella. With Mel, I’m still playing around with, but the main gist is that Abriel seems to have a really close interest in them. Therefore, Selah wants in, too!

Selah is incredibly close with her twin brother Abriel. She loves having someone there by her side, someone who is both a huge, personal part of her and yet their own person. She loves doing the whole twin-matching thing, and Abriel goes along with it to see her smile. Actually, Abriel is sometimes there for her a little too much, if that makes sense. The siblings try to out-do each other in service to one another often. Apparently for their Quinceañera/Quinceañero, both of them made such tall, towering cakes for the other that they ended up feeding their whole village for days! The twins refuse to say who made the tallest… Local villagers will tell you it was a tie ;P

Mel, Ella, Abriel, and Asher, when going unchecked can get very doom and gloom very quickly as characters. So Selah is here to hopefully lift the party’s, an especially the viewer’s, spirits <3

Here are some other drawings of Selah! One of her for MerMay that I plan to finish in October for OC-tober, and the other from an entry in Asher’s journal — 10 years before the main story. This journal hasn’t been posted on my blog, mainly because I’m embarrassed of my writing skills, haha

Thank you for asking, I don’t mind at all! I meant it when I said I could talk about my OC’s for days. It’s a long post, that’s for sure :P

[your-unfriendlyghost]

How'd you end up discovering your art style?

Well, it wasn’t much of a discovery- it’s just how I draw, I guess! It evolves over time and changes based on what artists I’m looking up to and what styles I’m into

But I can give ya a (recent-ish) evolution of my style/a break-down on all its influences over the past two years if ya wanna see how it all happened!

-

Some stuff from July-October of 2022

Two-three-ish years ago, for instance, it was more classical painting inspired. I was real into Over the Garden Wall and also just…general American history back then don’t judge I was coming off of my first American history class since elementary school and I thought it was so cool So my art had more of like…that going on yk? It wasn’t as good as my stuff now at all, because I’ve since improved my anatomy skills, learned how to draw fabric folds (sorta), and learned a bit of color theory lol. But they’re ok for what they are, I guess.

I think my main problem back then was the fact that I did not fully know how to use references- and a lotta my references were like. Cartoons. And stuff that was very much not meant to be painted in the amount of detail I aimed for at the time.

(Even here, you can tell I was dissatisfied, because they all look pretty different from each other yk?) (and you can see how hardly any of the fabric has folds and how little I understood lighting 😭)

-

January-March ‘23

Anyhow, after this, in uhh early 2023, I had a 80s-90s comic book/pop art phase, which was a pretty drastic swing in the opposite direction. I still rendered things sometimes, but things were less soft/warm. BUT I was starting to use real photos as references which was vital

I was also watching a lotta tmnt with my kid brother, which is what I blame for why the proportions got so stylized- folks in the 2012 version of that show were just kinda built funny, which I think subconsciously impacted my art. My posing did get a bit stronger in this time as I practiced more, and I think things got less stiff

-

June-August ‘23

Next, as the summer months came, I had a lotta changes in inspo and also just in life lol. I had temporarily moved to my neighbor’s place, and I didn’t have a car yet/any friends who I liked enough to hang around with, so all summer long I rewatched a lotta 80s movies, fell in love with the first season of Stranger Things (not the others as much tho 😭), skateboarded, and watched a lotta art tutorials online. (I specifically remember Jackie Droujko’s yt shorts saving my assss- I loved her stuff so much. Definitely check ‘em out she explains things real well)

I improved slowly, but I DID IMPROVE a HELLUVA LOT. I focused a lot on trying to draw people who looked recognizably like themselves, but also stylized because realism (usually) bores me. I also got better at coloring- the first two here ain’t great in terms of colors, but I was learning. Plus, back then I was very into oddly saturated color schemes. (I mean it is a solid vibe. I may not do this a ton anymore but I can dig it still)

-

October-November ‘23

As autumn came, I was pretty enamored with all the like…✨fall vibes✨ that time around. My life was goin’ well, so I had a lotta optimism and a re-ignited love for nature, forests, and fantasy. Plus I was dating this girl who was really into vintage-y Wes Anderson stuff so I think some of that uhhh twee-ness rubbed off on me lol

My influences here were mainly old storybooks, a hint of Lord of the Rings (as you can probably tell by the hobbit), and a decent amount of Fantastic Mr. Fox. And for faces I was mainly using the Laurenillusrated Brushpack at the time I think? I don’t use the “Sketchy” brush in it as often anymore as I did then, but I should. It’s a great brush, and I actually am really liking all the little sketchy lines. It adds a nice touch.

also don’t look at my goddamn long hair in that self portrait on the left. I hated it on me then and I hate it now too. I cannot believe I ever let it get that long it was really bad

-

December ‘23-April ‘24

I honestly did like a total of like. Seven drawings in these four months. As opposed to my usual…uhhh I wanna say 25 every four months. Idk what was up- art just wasn’t fun at the time. I mean, it was also just a lousy few months in general, so I’m sure that’s a part of it lol, but yk. This style is pretty close to my current one- my inspiration just came from x-files-ish sci-fi and American gothic stories/images as opposed to nowadays’ Beat generation and greaser inspo.

May-Now (October) ‘24

The Outsiders kinda dragged me back into enjoying drawing again honestly. I’d read and loved it back in 2023, but upon rereading it/watching the movie in February of 2024, it just sorta…entered my headspace and stayed this time. (Still, I didn’t really draw any Outsiders/greaser-y things till May)

Lately, I take artistic inspiration in 2d animated films, like the ones by Disney with the real nicely drawn fabric folds. And also just a lotta inspo from real life. I also do a lot of black and white comics, because I find that I generally have a “Go big or go home” mentality about most things- which can be a LOT of pressure! By allowing myself to draw simpler doodle-y things, I’ve regained that love for drawing. I think for a while it just felt like work, but in letting myself take it easy, art’s become a good time again :))

[hazbinhappy]

If you wouldn’t mind doing a matchup for me, I’d appreciate it. Only characters I would like to avoid would be Adam & Valentino.

I am on the aroace spectrum. Demi for both. I am bi-oriented. My pronouns are they/them.

I am autistic so I have sensory issues. I also have social issues and would like to get a service dog specifically for DPT (deep pressure therapy, applying pressure to the body to help ground & regulate heart rate) and social interactions.

I am a big animal person. I have four pets in total right now but have had many and will have many more. I’ve had animals of all kinds, birds, reptiles, dogs, cats. I’ve even worked with horses before. Very big on animals. I prefer them to people.

I wouldn’t say I’m shy necessary, more so just traumatized. When I’m in a space I feel comfortable I’m very loud, very opinionated. I tend to use bullying as a form of affection but never let it go too far. I’m petty as fuck. I’m also very blunt and brash. In spite of that I do try to be kind and help people but if you ask me for my opinion I’m going to give you my unfiltered opinion. Yes, that dress washes you out give it away.

I enjoy writing, reading, drawing, and theater. I cook and bake a lot. I like to have things organized, obsessively so. I also enjoy dance. I specifically would like to try pole dancing but for a while I hyperfixated on swing dancing. Of course, I never had a partner though. I do try to maintain an active lifestyle by going on walks with my dogs among other things. My goal is to build up enough muscle to carry dogs of all sizes and a future partner.

My clothing style tends to lean alternative. I like blacks, purples, blues, and greens. I’m not a fan of warm toned colors but I will wear maroons. I like wearing tight fitted clothes and crop tops but I also have a special interest in historical fashion so I’ll wear just about anything.

In terms of a demon form for me specifically. . . I feel like I’d be a moth, a thylacine, or a bobcat type demon. I honestly don’t really care which as long as I get fangs because fangs should be gender affirming care.

Anyway, hugs and kisses if you want them.

- @am-i-interrupting

Your Matchup is...

Husk!

This was a bit hard because it was either him or Vaggie, but I landed on him! Mainly due to how you described your personality and I think you two would get along great and just :) i made it up to your interpretation if it's romantic or platonic! @am-i-interrupting

y'all would meet either through the hotel or during Alastor's seven year absence! most likely the latter so let's run with that for this

he was probably on his way TO the casino (as if he shouldn't just live there with how much he frequents it) when you guys bumped into each other!

one of your dogs who was a bit too friendly today decided to run up to the grump and ask to be pet

Husk being Husk immediately backs up while you're trying to apologize for the dog's action and explain it away, but Husk also isn't a complete asshole so he lets it go

but it's on his mind for the rest of the day.... and so what does he do? he takes that same path every day at the same time hoping to bump into you

after like the fifth time he finally pets the dog and you two maybe share a few words. maybe several dozen times later you two start to hang out a bit

once Alastor's back though you're sad to not have you're walking friend anymore

but when you heard Alastor was back and at a hotel you suspected that is somewhere where Husk bit be (good thing for hunches!)

i wouldn't say you'd frequent the hotel because it looks very far out, but on your more free days you might take the dogs out for a longer walk for them to see their grumpy friend

(As for the other pets, they do get to occasionally come, but only if Nifty is super busy. Only the dogs and cats aren't scared of her. Honestly I'd just be scared of her period)

"Well look who showed up here."

"You say that every week, fool. You should expect me at this point. Where is everyone?"

"Charlie and Vaggie are attempting to campaign this whole failure again, Angel is working, Sir Pentious is in that weird blimp, and Alastor is fucking somewhere."

"And Nifty?"

"Haven't figure it out."

"Good things I did not bring over the little guys then. Just the dogs."

You unclipped them from their leashes to let them roam around the main floor of the hotel, though they stuck behind the bar with Husk.

"Alastor still has you stuck here? Not even a little break?"

"Convincing that bastard to give me a break is like pulling teeth outta a bear. Never gonna happen."

"Man, fuck him. He's a weirdo asshole."

"One that owns my soul."

"Dumbass."

"Fuck you."

"Love you toooo."

A/n: Thank youuu XOXO (You also did my matchup which I really loved!)