#I’m going to fucking kill my self I stg

[actualsoyboy]

Is it colorism to draw a character as their original skin tone instead of the tanner skin tone they reached a few years later 🤔

[theylikeholdinghands]

A ramble of major spoilery thoughts after the prime premiere screening (episodes 1+2)

Under the cut. Very big spoils, I’m warning you.

My head is jumbled after the masterpiece I witnessed and all I’ll summarise are reactions and some stuff y’all already know from other screenings

Episode 1:

CROWLEY AS AN ANGEL OH MY GOODNESS HE WAS SO HAPPY AND JOYFUL AND HIS HAIR WAS STUNNING. Aziraphale definitely had love heart eyes at him and the whole “oh look at you, gorgeous��� thing was legit. Crowley said that and Aziraphale smiled thinking it was aimed at him and then turned as he realised what he meant, the whole cinema room went awwwwww.

No one told me Gabriel fucking rubs his naked self fully against Zira whilst hugging him, I actually died.

GOOD OLD FASHIONED LOVER BOY DOES PLAY WHEN CROWLEY IS RUSHING TO THE BOOKSHOP TO PROTECT AND APOLOGISE TO AZIRAPHALE. AAAAAAH

The whole cinema erupted in laughter when Crowley had to do an apology dance and I was screaming. He did end it with a ballerina pose I cannot. Aziraphale said he had to do that apology dance in 1650, 1793 and 1941 (so I hope we see that in the 40s minisode)

Aziraphale being all adorable listening to his records before he got interrupted by Gabriel aaaaaah

GABRIEL SAYS “I LOVE YOU” TO AZIRAPHALE AND ZIRA SAYS THANK YOU and then goes “I…hmm” SAVE IT FOR YOUR HUSBAND

Aziraphale is so sweet with Maggie but he has no fucking clue how to be a landlord i stg. Maggie also mentions the lockdowns, so the lockdown audio clip is canon.

Episode 2 Part 1 The Minisode:

The way Aziraphale enters this episode, dramatic ass bitch

I absolutely loved Azicrow’s initial argument about Crowley being evil and killing the goats and then the reveal he never killed them. ZIRA’S SMUG FACE BECAUSE HE KNEW CROWLEY WOULD NEVER HURT ANYTHING. Plus why do they look like they’re gonna kiss in that argument, I saw Zira looking at his lips… maybe his beard

Ty’s character is so camp when flirting with Zira oh my goodness

Gabriel’s long hair reveal got the crowd roaring

CROWLEY TEMPTED AZIRAPHALE INTO EATING AND HIS REACTIONS OH MY GOODNESS

The way they work together to trick the angels into thinking the kids are brand new is comedic gold

The very final scene of the episode is absolutely stunning. They’re both vulnerable and I love the line “I’m a demon, I was lying” comes back in so many ways this episode

CAN WE TALK ABOUT HOW EVERY REVIEWER SAID FRANCES MCDORMAND WASNT GOING TO BE BACK AND YET WE HEARD HER AND SAW HER NAME IN THE CREDITS

Episode 2 Part 2 Present Day:

CROWLEY SLEEPING IN HIS CAR, MOVE IN WITH YOUR HUSBAND DUMBASS

AZIRAPHALE CALLED THE BENTLEY “OUR CAR” and said he learned how to drive 90 years ago

Crowley’s romantic wooing involves a downpour of rain, sheltering under an awning and looking in to each others eyes to realise whats been there the entire time… ARE YOU OKAY CROWLEY

Crowley didn’t know Jane Austen wrote novels and knew her from a crime background. He picks up Pride and Prejudice in Aziraphale’s bookshop aaaaaaah

When Gabriel is alone alphabetising Zira’s books, he comes across P&P and reads the first sentence. THEN PICKS UP ANOTHER BOOK AND ITS THE FUCKING GOOD OMENS BOOK. NEIL I CANT BELIEVE YOU DID THIS

Anyway these are my initial reactions so sorry for the ramble. I hope y’all who haven’t been to a screening get to indulge and look forward to whats coming in just over a day now!

[sa4phire]

I feel alive for the first time ever

I used to ping pong between mania and depression while the depression seeped into my bones and the mania liquified my mind

Now? Now…

Now I feel like I actually have a chance at leading a normal life. I know I’m far from the stability I’ve been killing myself slowly to obtain my entire life… but this time around something is different.

I have a feeling of wanting to live like never before. There is no going backwards. Not anymore. I’m determined to figure out this thing called life and be good at it.

It’s all I’ve ever wanted. To love, and live a happy life with my love. I want nothing more than to show him the real me that’s not fucking insane. No one, and I mean no one, not even my own self has ever seen me like this before.

I’m taking care of myself. Even when I’m doing the bare minimum because of exhaustion, I’m still doing better than before. My bare minimum now is what my good was before. Give or take.

I’ve never been able to work a full time job. I literally am. It’s the first week, sure, but I’m fucking doing it. Like actually.

The meds are working. I was terrified before, that’s why I got off of them. But this mind break was much more detrimental than the first one. The first time, I wasn’t set up for success. I was sent to a place two hours from anyone, forced to submit even when on my hands and knees begging, and sexually assaulted. Put on meds that did not work at all. I felt like I was going insane. Because they weren’t treating me for my condition they were treating a symptom of it.

This time around, I went to a good mental hospital. I wasn’t bootyjuiced to my knowledge. I got out within three days instead of thirteen. I had family to take me in. My friends are close. I have a job close to home. I have support this time. It’s not all just thrown on my poor husband.

I’m truly blessed to even know that man.

But yea. I love you guys. I have hope now. I still struggle. But every day is a sliver better. Slowly but surely I’m getting somewhere mentally. I’m no longer stuck. The bandaid got ripped off and I stg I bled out for months. But now? The scab is forming and I’m not picking at my mind to try and go back. I’m focused. There’s nothing that’s going to take away my life.

I refuse to allow anything to stand in my way of living the life I’ve always wanted. Even my own self. I refuse to revert back to being in a mind of lack and a heart that was so heavy with the weight of everyone else’s struggles as well as my own. I’m being able to differentiate what is good and bad now. What is healthy and what is not.

I’m in therapy.

I will get better. I don’t care how long it takes me. Amen.

[firecrackerhh]

Ngl guys I think the fact that there are some people who hate Viv so much they’ll just automatically side with whoever the fuck, even if the person themselves is potentially shady as hell, is kinda fucking disgusting actually.

What the fuck is wrong with these people, they act like she fucking murdered their pets in front of them or something. The woman’s not a literal demon like these fucking brainlets think she is. Sure she isn’t perfect, no one is, but a lot of the shit on her name is from forever ago, and I frankly don’t give a single fucking shit about anything she’s done before the first season of hazbin, as she was still very new to show running at that time so she’s bound to fuck up, something that as human beings we all fucking do.

They look at Viv like she’s malicious or some shit it’s fucking weird. Sure maybe she’s said some shitty things before, big whoop, cry to someone who cares. I’m not saying she hasn’t fucked up at all, being rather unprofessional or immature in certain instances, that isn’t good, but I imagine she’s grown a lot since taking on the role of showrunner and I say let bygones be fucking bygones.

Stg I’m convinced the only way Vivziepop haters would be happy is if she killed herself or something honestly like these people want her to be “held accountable” whatever their version of that means, seems like they just want her to fucking self-flagellate herself on Twitter for everyone to see at all times. And even when she DOES apologize for shit many of them don’t even believe her anyway like WHAT IS THE POINT OF AN APOLOGY IF IT DOESN’T CHANGE ANYTHING? These people never let up!

Why WOULD she apologize if these people are gonna act like rabid animals at the mere thought of her existence? Why apologize to people who barely think of you as human?

Stg these bitches love throwing stones but if I were Viv at this point I would start throwing them back. If I were Viv I would go fucking nuclear like y’all wanna talk shit on my name, fuck around and find out Motherfucker you’ll be BEGGING me to shut tf up I would make you fuckers lives literal hell.

But that isn’t a “professional” response. I’m rather glad I’m not Viv, I can’t do professional. That shit annoys me. She wouldn’t be able to talk about it but God if Viv started suing people for defamation I think it would be soooo fucking deserved.

🔥🧨Firecracker out🔥🧨

[lokilickedme]

Somebody help me chill, this is insane.

(under the cut because long and also pretty traumatic, for me at least)

Crazy neighbor, remember her?  Her son destroyed a piece of equipment we had attached to one of our trees at the fenceline last week, she denied it and called us insane liars - that’s the most recent craziness in the ongoing saga of the neighbor from hell.  I was sitting here reading my dash tonight and happened to glance over at the monitor for the surveillance camera husband got me the other day to watch that exact spot (where the equipment was smashed) and guess who I see bent over looking through the fence peering very closely at that exact spot?  Neighbor’s equally insane son, who we know did the actual dirty work.  And I, stupid like I am, took a screenshot of him and then immediately jumped up and ran outside in the dark in my pajamas (nearly 9pm, pitch black, their porch light is off because obviously they’re doing something they don’t want to be seen doing) and I ask “Excuse me, what are you doing?”

This lunatic immediately starts SCREAMING at me - I mean top of his lungs SCREAMING abusive threats, calling me a stupid psycho whore bitch, yelling at me to get my ass back in my house and generally just acting completely off his rocker unhinged nuts - and then his mother comes out and comes over to the fence and gets in my face while I’m just standing there and tells me to mind my own business.  I say I am minding my business, I saw him looking through the fence at my property right where we had vandalism happen last week so I came out to find out why he’s interested in my property.  She laughed in my face and said “No he wasn’t, he was standing right here looking at his phone like this” and she does this little pantomine of someone looking at their phone, which is funny because she wasn’t out there when he was doing it and there are no windows on that side of her house at all.  I ignored her and asked “What are you looking for?”  He kept screaming incoherent animal noises and insults from behind her so I asked again, “What are you looking for?”  And that crazy woman grinned at me and said “We’re just looking to see what kind of new devices you’ve installed!”

OMG.  She didn’t even take a breath in between lying and then contradicting her own lie.  And she’s grinning smugly at me the entire time, gesturing around pointing at our property cams and mosquito light (it flashes and apparently she thinks it’s watching her) and my bedroom window - which means she’s been snooping.  There is a cam sitting in my windowsill, aimed at the spot where the device was smashed.  Every bit of this equipment is on our property, some of it behind a privacy fence.  I tell her it’s none of her business what kind of devices we’ve got on our property, but she just yammers over me, and of course numbskull is still ranting like a psycho behind her, screaming at me to mind my own business and get back in my house and leave them alone.  At this point he’s pulled out his phone and shoved it over her shoulder toward my face and is recording me, which is just...fucking hilarious...because I’m literally doing nothing but standing there in shock and awe at how nuts these people are, and he’s still screaming abusive curses and names at me while he’s recording.

Anyway, for about 4.5 minutes we stood there with them shouting over me (I know the exact time because it was later discovered that our doorbell cam recorded audio of the entire event) and a little ways into it he screams “I WILL TEAR YOUR FUCKING HEAD OFF!!”

At this point psycho woman finally turns around and says “Addison Case!” and pushes him back.  He lunges at me and she tells him to go call the police (??what??  I mean...I wish he had...my phone was in my hand frozen solid, locked up because of the glitchy surveillance app I had to install to see the camera, or else I would have called them myself - but my god they really thought I was the one the cops needed to come for??).  Meanwhile I’m just standing there on my own property in the dark in my pajamas, all 5 feet and 120 lbs of me, while this rabid animal - he’s a 21 year old college boy - is lunging at me and screaming nonstop, calling me a fucking whore bitch loud enough for the entire neighborhood to hear it while his phone’s camera light is in my face blinding me.  Crazy lady smiles that smug shit eating grin of hers and tells me to get back in my house, leave her alone, and move the hell away so she can live in peace.

Wow.  Just...holy shit.

This is the person who has allowed her dog to attack my very small 8 year old son on our property and send him to the hospital with injuries last year, then attempt to attack him again 2 weeks ago (he is now 9 at the time of the second attack) - again on our own property (in our back yard this time, in our front yard the first time), has allowed her dogs (multiple) to bark all night long and keep us awake (she leaves them outside and then goes away for the weekend and they bark the entire time she’s gone), then she had her crazy violent son destroy the BarkBox we put in our tree on our side of the fence last week (we put it up as a humane way to get the barking to stop without having to listen to her call us insane liars every time we complain about it).  Yet...she kept repeating over and over and over for us to leave her alone and stop harassing her.

All I could even do was stand there shaking my head.  It was surreal.  And frustrating, because they wouldn’t even let me get a word out without screaming over me, and she was doing that infuriating Karen thing where they shove their hand at your face and grin smugly while they’re telling you what you better do or they’ll call someone to make you.

I actually started laughing, it was so ludicrous.  She’s committed all those vile offenses against us and we’re the ones that need to leave her alone.  We’ve had to file four police reports against her and we’re the ones that are making her life miserable.  I just can’t stop thinking about that Liar Liar movie where the repeat offender keeps calling his lawyer to complain that the cops won’t stop arresting him and the lawyer finally yells THEN STOP BREAKING THE LAW ASSHOLE!!

It’s just like that.  My god.

SO -

She tells him to call the police again, and this limp dick shoves that phone light right up to my face and says “You think she’s worth calling the cops over?  Look at her, she don’t look worth it to me.”  And bitch starts laughing.  My god, these people are subhuman, I swear.  I’ve never seen anyone act like this in my life, over a person doing literally nothing to them.

So she finally orders her rabid son (who is just about foaming at the mouth, I swear he’s making these barking animal noises at me, it’s weird as hell) into the house and they walk away, with him still ranting like a madman until the door closes behind them.  I immediately go inside my own house and call my husband, who was way out at the back of our property in our camper (he self quarantines each day after work out there to protect us because there have been a lot of covid cases at his workplace) and he didn’t know anything was happening.  He immediately runs up to the house and I tell him I caught neighbor’s thug son messing around at our fence and that when I went out he threatened to kill me.

Tom grabs something - I don’t even know what it was, I think it was this piece of board that was sitting by the door, we’ve done a shelving project recently and a couple of leftover pieces have been there for a few days - and he stalks outside toward neighbor’s house.  I hear him yell COME OUT HERE BOY!!! and I stg you guys, if I wasn’t on the phone calling 911 I might have thought about getting naked right there and then because damn.

So anyway, let’s not go there.  This is serious by god lol (look for this to show up in a fic soon though because material like this doesn’t get handed to you for free every day).

I call 911 and say the neighbor’s son just threatened my life and for them to come quick because he’s still over there but I know he’s going to leave any second (this is his mom’s M.O, the two times the police have tried to go talk to her she gets in her car and leaves before they can get from my house to hers, and I know he’ll do the same because COWARDS).  Tom comes back and says the little pussywillow wouldn’t come out of the house.  He’s breathing fire, you guys.  Pure fucking fire.  I tell 911 to get somebody out quick before the kid leaves, and just about 2 minutes after I hang up he does just that - we see him blast past our house in his truck and he’s gone, and then the police arrive about 3 minutes after.  I’m so mad I can’t see straight.  If they’d been able to see him in the state he was in, they’d have arrested him on sight.

Two squad cars (big SUV’s) pull up and block her driveway with full lights flashing, which makes me laugh because suddenly we’ve got neighbors coming outside to see what’s going on.  I meet the officers outside, and the crazy bitch next door does the same, yelling “Hello Officer!” and waving to them as they’re coming up to my porch.

They talk to me and Tom for a long time, I tell them everything that happened, they interview Big (he and Little were inside the open door and heard it all), we fill out our statements and talk with them more until one officer goes next door to talk to neighbor.  We can hear her dripping her fake sugar and spice while they’re talking on her porch and my husband loses his shit - he heads toward her house and yells “We got the entire thing on recording, don’t even try to lie!  Your kid, threatening to kill my wife?!?”  (he’s referring to the camera in my bedroom window, which actually only recorded about 2 minutes because I don’t have it set up correctly yet, but they don’t know that). The officer yells at him to get back, which, yeah - he shouldn’t have done that, but for god’s sake the woman’s peckerhead son just literally threatened murder on a member of his family, this is the final fucking straw and he’s mad.  And as he’s coming back across the yard the officer that stayed with me points at our new doorbell camera, just freshly installed as of about two weeks ago, and asks if it’s on.  We haven’t even really figured out how to use it yet, but yes, as far as we know it’s on.  The incident happened around the side of the house, but the doorbell records audio.

God bless technology.

I invite the officer inside the house and Tom gets his phone, pulls up the app for the doorbell, and starts skipping through the recording looking for the right timestamp.  Up till this point all they have is me saying the guy screamed a lot of abusive profanities at me and threatened to tear my head off, and they’re taking me serious but probably not that serious, you know?  Neighbors fight all the time, wars start over barking dogs, things get exaggerated, we’ve all seen the TV dramas.

Until Tom finds the segment on the footage and starts playing it to them on his phone.  It’s kind of quiet because we were a good distance away, but you can hear the guy screaming just like I said he was.  The officer asks if we have a speaker we can play it through so he can hear the words more clearly, because he needs proof of threat and that’s entirely in the words.

You guys, I’m tellin’ ya, sometimes you get a chance to fucking SHINE.  My husband is a musician and this cop is asking him if he’s got a good speaker.  So within minutes Tom’s got this huge venue-style amplifier designed for broadcasting music to the back wall of a freaking stadium pulled out into the livingroom and he’s hooking his phone up to it, and then he hits play and the other officer comes back from next door to join us and I can tell by the annoyed look on his face that neighbor bitch has likely charmed him and shed a plethora of persecuted tears and spewed her lies about how we’ve been harassing her forEVER and I think for a second that it’s a total loss now, he’s made his mind up in her favor.

And then...away we go.  Tom cranks the volume on the speaker and they both lean in to listen closely.

Just about a minute into the recording they have their proof - thugnuts screaming I WILL TEAR YOUR FUCKING HEAD OFF!!!

Both officers nod, close their notebooks, and the second officer makes a phonecall while the first one turns to me and says “That’s terroristic threatening and it’s a class C felony.  You’re going to need to go to the PA’s office with all the reports you’ve filed against them so far and all your evidence from tonight including that recording and hand it all to them.  They’re likely going to issue a no-contact so that he can’t interact with you ever again.”

This is a victory, but it’s just the first step, and I feel sickeningly disheartened that it’s all in my lap to do everything.  I want them to go demand his whereabouts from his mother and just go get his ass and haul him in.  But no, I have a ton of legwork to do now because these horrible people won’t fucking stop.

After several more minutes of me asking questions about what exactly we need to do and where we need to go, etc etc (I’m competent but I’m also fucking rattled, someone threatened to kill me tonight and I’m blanking hard on the instructions he’s giving me) they finally wrap it up and leave.  They’ve been in my house for a half hour waiting for me to finish filling out the report (I had to ask for more paper because honey I’m getting ALL the details in there) and I can just imagine how freaked out neighbor is when she sees what time they finally move their cars from in front of her driveway.

And now I’m coming down from the weird calm that I had through the entire event, and my heart feels like it’s going to EXPLODE.  I had heart surgery two months ago, do I need this??  The pathetic part is that I know now just how stupid those people are, and I know this won’t be the end from their side by any means.  We’ll start finding more stuff broken, or he’ll start climbing over the fence back at the back of the property to steal stuff from husband’s tool shed, or my tires will get slashed.  These people are that dumb and hateful, they proved it tonight.  He said if we had animals he would kill them, and then he made the same threat against me.  How stupid does a person have to be to stand there with his phone out recording himself ranting and making threats against a woman standing in her own yard in her pajamas?  Big tough man there.  And his mama grinning at me the whole time, telling me I’m crazy and she’s concerned for her own safety because of me, while her son is standing right behind her threatening my life.

I’m just...my god, I don’t even know what to think.  I thought people only acted like this in TV dramas, seriously.  I’ve seen some shit in my life but this particular brand of stupid has up till now evaded me, but now it’s been in my face and I’m sort of in shock.

I don’t like guns.  At ALL.  Tom has always had at least one hidden carefully away, safely locked up away from the house, but now there are two inside my house in immediate grabbing range.  He insisted that I let him show me how to use them.  Rules were laid down for the boys - never touch, never, don’t even get close to them - and now there is a box of shotgun shells on my fireplace mantel and a singleshot rifle by the door.  I hate this so damn much.

Don’t pick it up unless you’re ready to use it, he told me.  Without even thinking, I said back, “If I touch it it’s getting used.”

I HATE THIS SO FUCKING MUCH

My god.  I told the cops that the drug lord that lived over there four years ago was a better neighbor than this woman.  They didn’t even laugh.

I guess they’re right, now that I think about it...it isn’t funny.

[guqin-and-flute]

Banquet Face Journey’s in Episode 26

(1) JGY: my bullshit detector is going off oh god oh no this asshole i stg

[TRANSCRIPT BELOW]

(2) Jin Zixun: hey i have the greatest fucking idea it’s so great like insult the central tenants of your clan great wanna hear it??? chug this

(3) LXC: *siiiiiiiiiiigh*

(4) LXC: okay so this is happening now, i guess

(5) Jin Zixun: DRINK MY WINE R U INSULTING ME TAKE A FUCKIN SIP BRO OMG AREN’T WE FREINDS?? C'MON U SCARED?

JGY: how u doin’, bb? i’m sorry about him

(6) LXC: i meaaaan not idea

(7) Jin Zixun: OMG DUDE WHAT’S UR PROBLEM IT’S JUST A DRINK MAN WHAT ARE YOU A PUSSSSSSS-

JGY: can u fuckin NOT?

(8) LXC: u ok?

(9) LWJ: i mean no i have the alcohol tolerance of a fucking baby turtle u know this plus i hate people and parties and this fucker in particular

(10) JGY: *tfw ur asshole cousin harrasses our straight edge boyfriend in the middle of a party*

(11) JGY: HEY I HAVE A GREAT IDEA

(12) JGY: LET’S STOP CAN WE DO THAT? CAN WE STOP NOW?? pls omg i hate this so much

(13) Jin Zixun: wtf party pooper

JGY: we are all having a nice evening could you please shut your stupid face

LXC: it’ll be okay, bro i got this

LWJ: don’t really think u do but ok

(14) JGY: i’m not gonna regret killing you even slightly

Jin Zixun: what?

JGY: nothing

LXC: ok bud u made wangji uncomfortable ur officially on my shit list

LWJ: i mean… i’m literally 2nd ranked cultivator

LXC: and i’m 1st hush now

(15) Jin Zixun: DUDE UR BOYFRIEND IS A WUSS WHY YOU FREAKING OUT BRO?

JGY: ah at the whims of assholes always where i want to be why do you do this to me

(16) LXC: i could literally end you right now, u know it wouldn’t even be hard this is really cool of u, jzx were it not for the laws ofthis land and my own self control, i would have slaughtered you

(17) Jin Zixun: CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG (x infinity off the page)

JGY: oh god he’s mad that’s his mad smile I’M TRYING HERE OK I REALLY AM

(18) LWJ: jfc could this day get any worse i’m just gonna think about all the great things that just happened in the forest OH WAIT there weren’t any

NMJ: should i be…doing something? stabbing someone maybe? keeping XICHEN from stabbing someone?

(19) LXC: WELP down the hatch i fuckin GUESS wow politics are just so fun

(20) LXC: *slorp*

(21) JGY: what’s the opposite of turned on? horrified? sounds about right

Jin Zixun: hell yeah bottoms up bro

LXC: #suffering

LWJ: wtf peer pressure is BAD brother

Random Jin Guard in the corner: hate these fuckin parties

(22) LXC: thanks for the invite, jin clan learned a lot today didn’t know alcohol tastes so much like rage hello darkness my old friend [in the headband] This_Is_Fine.jpeg

(23) Jin Zixun: READY, BABY LAN BITCH

JGY: i fucking hate family reunions

LWJ: i’m gonna crush ur fuckin skull with my m i n d

Bonus background stares

(BONUS) JGY: i’m so sorry ilysm

LXC: i also love you

JGY: i fuckin tried

LXC: i know u did

[i guess this will be a thing now? here’s more]

[allfortheaesthetic]

so now i’m going to post my reactions while watching jatp for the first time. enjoy (keep in mind i know a lot that happens because i got so spoiled because the internet)

1x01

“hollywood 1995” AHHHHHHHHHHHH i’m gonna cry

“sunset curve showcase sold out” MY SONS

“one two three” ALEX

i’m in public. don’t cry.

BOBBY HOLDING UP THE GUITAR

LUKES NOD AND THEN REGGIE BOUNCING OVER TO SHARE THE MIKE

THEYRE SO CUTE

BOBBY KICKING OFF THE DRUM STAND THINGY

“we ain’t searching for tomorrow” “tomoRROW”

THE GUITAR SWING

bobby!!!!!!!

you gotta appreciate them giving it their all for sound check

REGGIE’S WINK

THE HANDSHAKE/FIST BUMP THING

luke is an adorable puppy

so’s alex

NOT STREET DOGS

bobby “terrible flirting activated”

i mean he really tried the vegetarian

i relate tho because i also cannot flirt

“size beautiful” all y’all suck at flirting.

tho she got a free shirt so good for her.

i’m taking way too long to watch it because i keep pausing it to freak out. stupid second hand embarrassment

luke you did bobby dirty...i’d do it too.

yall i may be stupid but i would never eat hotdogs out of a CAR

“it’ll help with the rust” EXCUSE ME. NOPE. GO BACK INSIDE WITH BOBBY. BECOME VEGETARIAN

“that’s a new flavor” “chill, man, street dogs haven’t killed us yet” wow. yall stupid stupid.

okay. i know it’s sad. and i’m really upset about it. but the cut from the eating to the ambulance made me laugh so hard.

I HATE HOW THEYRE ALLOWED TO WEAR HATS IN SCHOOL IN EVERY KIDS SHOW BECAUSE ITS A LIE. A L I E

“hey underachiever” “hey disappointment” wow. that’s accurate best-friend representation. also damn flashbacks to my parents.

FLYNN IS NOW MY WIFE “demon”

ight so carrie may be... bitchy. but damn she’s got style.

matter of fact so does julie. and flynn. damn they’re all just better than me huh.

i love how the teacher says “take your time” like i know how it talks about how she said it was julie’s last chance but her being kind about it makes my anxiety ridden self wish my teachers were like that.

i love ray.

also the old instruments. i’m dying on the hill that bobby gave the house to rose and asked her to keep them.

THE CD OOOOOOH

poor julie was just vibing and then they show up 😂😂 also i love her slippers.

the crucifix!!

luke “that’s definitely not my six string” “can you give me a second? just one second!”

“maybes she’s a witch” god i love reggie

alex saying he’s got a softer touch and then loudly saying “why are you in our studio” these himbos

“it was gonna change our lives” “i’m pretty sure it did” i love these boys

“i’ve been crying for 25 years! how is that possible?!” “well you’re a very emotional person” “i am nOt”

“i-im luke by the way and this is” “reggie. i’m reggie. hey” “alex how’s it going” “ba-da” i love these boys so much it’s unreal.

they just hopped through that front door so cheerily.

luke really just wanting to play music where no one can see them 😂😂

she’s so good. i stg it’s not fair. i wish i had that talent.

1x02

i love flynn an unreal amount yall. and julie. and their friendship #doubletrouble

their clothes are still there?????? bobby???

reggie and luke crying because of ray

THEY REMEMBERED BOBBY

“guess that vegetarian lucked out” EXCUSE ME. MY MANS HAD THREE OF HIS BEST FRIENDS DIE AND HE “lucked out”

honestly i love the casual way it handles alex being gay. like it’s not a huge thing. he’s just gay and that’s how it deserves to be.

ALEX DOING THE BEAT ON HIS BODY OH MY GOD.

i’m gonna cry this is so cute.

the way luke ruined that sandwich for her by bringing up the hotdogs

damn. say what you will but dirty candy gets me hyped.

1x03

luke hurt about reggie saying julie should be the lead singers is the embodiment of this emoji 🥺

WILLIE

“i’m actually i think you’re joking her band” FLYNN IS MY QUEEN

1x04

the high school musical vibes tho

“one of us isn’t there. we had a blowout in 2031. my moneys in alex. he’s just so sensitive”

THEYRE IN THE MUSEUM. THEY HELD HANDS.

oh no. oh no. oh nonononono. they’re about to find out about bobby and the songs. i’ve got a who lot of feelings about this but i’m not about to go into a whole rant about that so.

willieeeeeeeeee

1x05

okay. calebs a bad guy i know. but the other side of hollywood is a BOP

and willie was looking nice!

but i feel bad for julie

and honestly is getting back at bobby worth all this?

1x06

honestly if i was julie and i had to partner up with my crush i would simply pass away. that would be it.

honestly reggie. fixing an amp in the rain???

their little sorry song is so cute.

i’m gonna cry. the way he’s sitting on that counter so sad and his parents setting out a cake. ahhhhhh 😭😭

okay i love tia victoria

1x07

reggie. i love you. your hearts in the right place but i don’t think this is going to end well.

i love ray

and i love reggie and ray’s, one sided, relationship

“and don’t you look shArp” the way he says sharp. i can’t y’all. 😂😂

poor nick getting called luke

luke’s hair oh my god!!!!

willie and alex! i’m gonna cry!

“girls am i right?” “no❤️”

willie! 😫 my poor son

1x08

yall. watching them get ready to go is depressing. like reggie saying “i’m gonna miss them” but oh my god unsaid emily

poor julie. her life’s going good and then BAM caleb. she even rejected nick?!?!

tho that artwork is good

and the poor guys.

1x09

yall it says panic at the disco! no exclamation point tho.

“i’d do anything for you” WHEN I TELL YOU I DROPPED MY PHONE I MEAN IT

“only love baby”

fucking caleb.

julie looks so nice!!!!

bobby!!!!!!!

his look that he gives carrie when she says, “been here before”

bobby looks so sad! those are his boys!!!

you know bobby probably think “wtf is up with luke’s hair”

julies gonna make me cry i stg

AHHHHH IT HURTS EVEN THO I KNOW WHAT HAPPENS

damn poor nick.

tho caleb be looking stylish and steampunky

aaaaaand now i’m gonna put the soundtrack on repeat. deuces yall ✌🏼

[dodo-begone]

New anon, I feel called out ASDFGHJKL—

A guy in my class confessed to me and I just blinked in confusion, thanked him, and walked away cause I thought he meant it as a friend HAHAHAHAH it took people who saw the whole thing going down explaining it to me THREE TIMES for me to realize it wasn’t a platonic confession. ^^;

Growing up with a parent that has NPD, I don’t have a lot of self confidence and though I have trust issues, I cling onto those who show me affection very easily. I’m also quick to apologize for something, even if I have nothing to do with it, and forgive people even quicker. I hate it, but someone could physically or mentality hurt me and/or my family, and I’d probably forgive them in a matter of hours (days or maybe weeks if it was bad enough) out of habit. I can never make decisions for myself (I was able to redesign, paint, and furnish my room and I told my mom to pick what to do with it for me because I honestly didn’t [and still don’t] care how it turns out. Just like, pick what you want and I’ll roll with it. I stg I thought my mom was gonna strangle me if I didn’t make a decision HAHAHAH—) and I’ll take anything dealt in my direction, positive or negative, without any resistance so long as my friends or family aren’t facing the negative as well. (But even then, I’ll forgive eventually).

It’s ironic because I don’t let my friends take any shit and always tell them to stand up for themselves—or I’ll do it for them—and then I’m quiet as a mouse with any major or minor inconvenience that comes my way. I don’t even think there’s anyone I hate, and I’ve dealt with shit from people. I just, idk, take it, forgive them, and move on I guess. Someone could stab me and I’d apologize for being in the way and offer to clean the knife and hide my own body before I die OOPS—

I put others, even those that are openly rude or cruel to me before myself and it’s just ksksksksk. Honestly, just give me physical touch and generally tell me that I’m a decent human being and I’ll do anything for you LOL.

My friends are already worried about how easily I let things slide and how little I care about my own well being, so having a yandere that’s worried enough to take me away wouldn’t even be surprising WHOOPS

Dream SMP yanderes would have a field day omg—

(Similarly to Loyal, I only know the DSMP OOOOP)

Yandere: so I may have killed your family and now you’re staying with me for the rest of your life

Me: Take me wherever, idc. No need to knock me out or anything, I’ve got legs and I know how to walk. Just lead the way.

Me: also, fuck you, my family was pretty pog >:( *still willingly goes*

We all getting called out by the new anon aren’t we? Pog-

Okay that guy confessing to you??? I’ve done that quite a bit. I guess?? Idk I just see them all as jokes bc they come from ppl in my classes.

Yo I, I know this won’t do anything, but I’m so sorry for that crap you had to deal with. But I can feel you on the indecisive stuff. I have such a hard time choosing and if there is even slight pushback I’m like “I can’t. Take the reigns since you’re apparently better” but that’s,,, only to my fam tbh.

(Yo it’s k. Idk much about Hermitcraft. I’m slowly learning though so don’t feel bad. That shit been going on for ages)

Haha I hope a yandere doesn’t kidnap us. Would be such a tragedy

[kalle-and-lita]

The thousand and one thoughts running through my head pt1:

*read at your own risk*

Work is gonna kill me, I stg, I'm so stressed out I dunno what to do-

God we're gonna buy a house?!? I don't even know how to start! Like wtf-

Hey guess what you've got medical debt for 2000 that you didn't know you had. Have fun with that while trying to fix your fucking credit score. Just when the both of you decided it was time to get a house. Ffs

Hey. Hey. Hey. Answer that fucking thread already you dumb b*tch. It's been over a week and you always say you'll get to it when you sit down, but you always forget.

You have like five plot bunnies on your desk right now. How about a sixth one. Just for funsies.

Speaking of, how's your novel coming along? You've finished the rough draft and managed to get through without completely hating yourself. How's the editing going? Oh you haven't touched it in weeks? Interesting. Paralyzed by severe self esteem issues because you're afraid that the story in your head will never be good enough on paper? Weak.

Hey you should fold the laundry. Its been in the basket for like two weeks now. Also, speaking of laundry. You need to wash the two other full baskets.

I know you nap because you have depression and a paralyzing fear of starting things so you sleep to avoid it. Coward.

That fight you had with your husband? You're a piece of trash for even letting it get that far. You never articulate yourself well enough to be heard and he always ends up misunderstanding you and/or taking your words way too fucking personally. Marriage counseling? What are you considering divorcing him? It's been a little over a year. Some people have it worse than you, suck it up. He's never gonna change.

God why did you agree to pick up your sister from practice. You barely get enough rest on your weekends as it is. Not to mention you agreed to go get Gingers nails clipped at the Groomers. Why? I know you love her but she's so fucking volatile in public that it makes it impossible to go anywhere.

Hey, remember that thing you did like 10 years ago? No, not that one but we'll come back to it. Yeah, that one. Feel bad about it. For like a month. No this isn't non negotiable.

Your sister is FWB with the sleaziest scumbag you've ever seen. It's stupid that she keeps making excuses for his dumb ass, and denies that she has feelings for him. We both know if she didn't care she wouldn't have asked you if forehead kisses mean anything. But you absolutely should feel like shit for speaking your mind and telling her you don't like him for all the above reasons. After all, it's why she isnt speaking to you. Congrats.

Hey. Hey. Hey. It's your fault that your father wasn't imprisoned for his abuse of you and your sister until like two years ago. She wouldn't have suffered if you hadn't been a coward.

Did you take out the trash like you told your husband you would? No? Unreliable, terrible wife. And you want to be a mother?

You're gonna be a terrible mother. You have so many anger issues as it is. What makes you think you can take care of a kid? You can barely take care of yourself!

Everyone around you? They hate you. You're a terrible friend. No, I won't elaborate on the feeling. You sit there and feel terrible about it.

[ziracona]

hey zira, what are your hot takes on all of the fo4 companions?

Haha, I don’t know how hot they are, but I can give you a speed run! (Also I am very excited to get this. FO4 was the first open world game I ever played and just the concept of that and the hugeness of the world and branching story & sudden feeling changes towards me in companion characters totally blew my mind, & it still lives rent free in my heart).

Ada, Old Longfellow, and Strong I /still/ haven’t maxed despite having too many hundred hours to want to list on this game—the former bc they were DLC, Strong because honest to god I left him at a nice settlement and then completely forgot about him and remembering that I am the energy in this Ryan O’Flanagan video but abt leaving my super mutant in a tiny settlement alone. I will get there! To max affinity I mean. But anyway, I don’t truly know those three, so my takes are incomplete. So far though, I really like Ada. She is a good girl just trying her best. Fucks me up I can tell her to self destruct. Even though I feel sure she would ignore me, I cannot imagine ever saying that to her. It was really sweet she was willing to forgive the Mechanist and move on with her life. A good girl. Longfellow I am maxing rn (was last time I played anyhow). I enjoy him. Gruff grumpy old man but he seems quite decent and I like his idle banter and when he sings to himself a lot. Seems like he’s had it rough. Strong I liked. He’s wild, and I loved how insane meeting him was, and am worried about him eventually understanding poetry and how that might mess up his sense of world understanding. But he’s a chill dude in his own way and I am glad they gave us at least one nice super mutant.

For the companions I actually do know like the back of my hand, the speedrun:

Nick Valentine: Best man on earth. One of two fictional characters I ever called husband. I would die kill or live for him. I want to be 1/4th the man Nick Valentine is. One of the best characters ever period and I adore literally everything about him. It fucked me up early in game where right after he offered to basically risk destroying his mind to help a stranger look for her son, he asked me how I was doing. First character in the entire game to do that. His first companion dialogue is abt how you’re doing TuT. The man is very kind and forgiving and fair, but knows when the draw the line and take no shit. Emotionally mature, kind, caring, longsuffering. Incredibly damaged and broken by life, but holding on and living kindly and to help others anyway. One of the four most marryablen fictional men I’ve ever seen.

Preston Garvey: Brave, kind, sweet man. I would defend him with my life. He really just wants so bad to make the world better and life has been so hard, but he’s still trying. A beautiful and underrated companion and I would throw hands for him on sight. I adore how he whistles. A true and gentle and loyal friend. Take him to Quincy and let him get his justice it’s what he deserves. People who hate him because he tries to get help helping civilians in that game are weak. I love him so much... please give him enough time to reach max affinity he’s so worth it.

Deacon: *To the tune of You Are My Dad* You are my friiiiend! You’re my friend! (Boogie woogie woogie). Initially, he pissed me off bc he lies all the god damn time, but after we got close enough he actually trusted me, he stole my heart and I would also die for Deacon. He’s a really good person who thinks he’s shit because of who he was on his past. Also him 🤝 Preston: massive survivor’s guilt. They should be friends. Poor Deacon has been the last member of the Railroad like four times, and it’s awful. Help him. Give him love and support. He’s one of my all time faves. Also, Railroad hands down best faction and if you kill them for any reason other than like a walkthrough route video and I ever get the chance I would 100% clock you in the face as hard as I can, like going for losing teeth, and feel no guilt. I know it’s a game and that’s wrong, and I’d be wrong, but I’d still do it. Also, Ryan Alosio (his VA) saw me do cosplay for Deacon once and told me it was great and it filled me with even more love. Anyway Deacon is great. Also, his whole “There are other organisations out there. And, in time, I'm sure they're going to spoon-feed you their own patented form of bullshit. Ignore the verbage and look at what they're doing. What they're asking you to do. What sort of world they'd have you build and how they're going to pay for it.” Is one of the like, two most iconic quotes in all of FO4 & just super good in general.

Hancock: Hardcore badass man but also a good dude and a champion for the people. Man really puts his money where his mouth is and you gotta respect that; another favorite companion for sure. Big fan of the way he stabs a guy for you upon meeting, and is a cool leader who organized his crime and does a decent job actually leading. He works hard to help people and bites back hard. Social justice advocate, dangerous man about town, not afraid to cosplay a revolutionary war hero 24/7 & u gotta respect the no fucks given attitude. A chill dude. Like that he fights the institute, hates the Brotherhood, helps the Railroad, and is friends with Nick. He’s legit af. Also, his VA gives a different answer every time someone asks him about the voice he did for hancock and they’re funny af.

Piper Wright: A cool spunky lady. Lois Lane on the case, kicking butt, and taking name. She’s nice but also hardcore and smart, supportive, fun. A good person. You always get points if you like Nick (which most companions do), and they’re good friends. She’s funny and I love her. A good heart.

Codsworth: He’s great. He’s family. He’s like my...weird brother. Getting to max affinity is heartwarming and also makes my heart go :’-] . Great early-game companion bc he kicks ass and doesn’t need stims to heal. I love getting called by my name and think that was a great feature (well, my PC’s name). He’s a wonderful funky little robot dude and I am so glad he likes me.

Dogmeat: Amazing. A good boy. Doggo of the year. His actor deserved the game award she won. Cute, full of love, and plays with a teddy bear if you give him one. 100/10z

Cait: I like her a lot. She’s been through so much shit, and it makes sense she is how she is. I like they actually gave her an emaciated and messy (though still pretty) design, since she is a drug addict. And that they make her main quest about taking that seriously and wanting to get help, and that she’ll call out the player if they fuck around and do drugs in front of her after she gets rehabilitated. Her relationship to the PC if good is really sweet, and I am a fan. I like that while she’s not sympathetic to synths and thinks they aren’t people, she forgets that every time Nick walks into a room and is like “Oh hey Nicky : )”. She’s a good girl who has been through a lot and still needs time to heal and find herself, but she’s making great strides.

Robert Joseph MacCready: Human disaster (loving). Homeboy a goddamn /mess/ but I love him. He tries so hard to be cool. I love he makes you pay him to come with, then chickens out and gives it back lol. A fool ball of anxiety and bad decisions and what he thinks brovado is. I wish he, Preston, and Deacon would quit fighting, bc I am always like “ :’-] </3 Boys Please” when they swap out, but I love them just the same. He’s doing his best, he’s just stupid and a fool. Like Philip J Fry. Keeping his goddamn soldier toy, which somehow is listed as junk instead of sent to Misc with quest items where it would be fine, safe?parylizes me with fear. I’ve lost 2 hours of gameplay reloading an old save bc I accidentally lost it.

X6-88: A more complex one to answer about. He’s bad, but like, I’m pretty sympathetic to how he got that way. He was created in a lab and had his emotions mostly dragged out of him in intense psychologically damaging training so he would be a weapon and view himself as an object. I was relieved he chose me over the institute even if he wasn’t a fan of the chocie, and think that means there’s a lot of hope for him. Wish he’d chill the fuck out and quit intimidating civilians for 6 god damn seconds, but I like him. I bring him fancy lad snack cakes home from travels all the time, bc Synths are supposed to like them. Really like that he’s the /most/ sympathetic companion towards Danse in Blind Betrayal, even though he should not be programmed for that, and Danse hated him and made it clear any time they interacted.

(EDIT) Curie: I FORGOT HER BABY IM SO SORRY. I like Curie a lot, despite the fact I temporarily forgot she existed. I stg I thought she was in here. Uhhh, okay. Curie: like her character and personality, HUGE un-fan of both the way her desire to get a synth body is to be ‘more real,’ as if Codsworth isn’t a fully realized person while the same robot type she is, instead of just like. Because it would make her happy. ALSO hate how much of a Born Sexy Yesterday she is, even intentionally in not-determinate affinity talks. It’s gross. But her herself, I like a lot. She’s my daughter and I will protect her. She works at The Castle right now as their on-site medic.

Paladin Danse: I know I’m gonna take heat for this but honestly? He didn’t do much for me. I like that he looks and sounds kinda like Buzz Lightyear, and that’s fun, but idk at all why people think he’s so hot. He’s very boring & generic looking to me. Like you’re valid! Taste all be different. But he doesn’t do it for me personally in looks or personality. I don’t at all like, hate him. Or even dislike. Tbh I am fairly neutral on him. It was funny making affinity with him though. Every other companion I had maxed, I liked more and more with each affinity talk. They’d be like “So my dad was a minuteman and died and I want to honor him” or “I just want to really feel like I’m a person, for real, myself, and I am glad I met you, because the good we have achieved together is ours, even if I can’t be sure of anything else,” or “My brother threw the cultural minorities out of our city for clout bc the rich citizens were all racist, and I tried to help—I snuck them food to the unsafe ruins they set up in for weeks, but eventually, they just vanished, and I still bear immense guilt and self-hatred over not having stopped that.” And Danae’s would be like “One time a buddy of mine got kidnapped by super mutants. They turned him into one of them, and they’re all abominations, so I killed him and it made me really sad.” And I was just like “...Oh danse. I really wanted to like you more. But what the fuck.” His relationship to Haylen is sweet though. And ofc I saved him in Blind Betrayal. I blew up the Prydwin so he’s safe now too, and he lives in the garden by my house and tells me how glad he is we’re friends, and I’m p into that. Overall, my feelings on him are not strong at all though.

Porter Gage: Not a fan. Like, I appreciated he helped me kill the old boss, sure. And bc I owed him for that, I went to max affinity to see what there was to him as a person. And like, as far as raiders go, he was okay. But he wasn’t deeply sympathetic, and he’s a slaver, and if you try to liberate the slaves he and the others own, he /will/ turn on and attempt to murder you immediately, no matter how close you were, so he made his choice, and it was to be a bad person and an asshole to the last. Really enjoyed the VA’s work a lot on him tho.

And there you have it 👈👈😎. Thanks for asking!

[genderenvywinchester]

Supernatural 1x05 Liveblog

- “i take it i was having a nightmare” of course you were, dumbass.

- also little girls doing crazy shit at sleepovers is just. that isn’t supernatural its just real

- what makes them think they’re gonna get let into this morgue

- “look man- no” iconic

- SAM. WHY DO YOU THINK PAYING THIS MAN IS- OH SHIT DID THAT REALLY WORK

- dean gender

- not even gonna go into more detail

- sam stop giving this man money

- if these first few eps have taught me anything, it’s that you should always listen to children when they tell you about freaky shit that’s going on

- dean winchester father of the year strikes again

- they’re gonna say it three times aren’t they

- who you gonna call. winchesters

- oh shit she’s gonna die in front of a mirror isn’t she

- JILL DON’T DO THIS

- oh my god she’s gonna die

- why does she have so many mirrors this isn’t a smart decision

- killed WHO NOW?

- ripped jeans dean winchester iconic. homosexual

- hey oh sneaking in through the window

- sam doesn’t know how to turn on night vision? not super smart are you, lawboy

- i stg if she ends up saying it....

- OH SO THATS WHO SHE KILLED

- WAIT THIS BITCH KILLED HIS WIFE? 

- OH MY GOD DUDE

- THIS IS BONKERS

- i think this girl should be part of the crew

- sam, dean, and this girl who’s name i forgot

- why must every woman be murdered. can none of them survive

- EXPOSE THIS GUY’S SECRET??? HELL YEAH THE CLUES ARE COMING TOGETHER

- NO DONNA DON’T SAY IT DON’T DO IT DON’T 

- your blonde friend can’t take any more of this

- please tell me blonde girl hasn’t killed someone i don’t want her to die

- please please please

- oh okay her name’s charlie

- i fucking hate donna. charlie is so cool and nice and she doesn’t deserve shitty friends like this

- seriously if charlie dies i’m done with this show (no i’m not. the power of hyperfixation knows no bounds)

- who did she kill.

- please tell me she didn’t kill someone- boyfriend? 

- oh this is valid. 

- babygirl this was not your fault, he was not stable, you’re only a kid it wasn’t on you

- now i’m sad

- but how does this really count as killing someone? because she didn’t do it

- sam. please. 

- go to therapy

- sam. you didn’t kill jess

- sam? WHAT HAPPENED 

- sam you are in a building FULL OF MIRRORS do you really think now’s the time to summon her

- sam pleaes just go to therapy this isn’t the time for self sacrificing

- DEAN DON’T LEAVE SAM ALONE WHAT THE FUCK

- okay but what secret does sam have i am. very curious

- sam OH SHIT SAM

- SAM NO

- SAM PLEASE JUST SMASH THE MIRROR I BELIEVE IN YOU SAM

- JESUS CHRIST

- yes dean punch those fuckin cops!!!

- SAM

- SERIOUSLY

- PREMONITIONS? ARE THESE HIS WEIRD BLOODFREAK DREAMS

- YES DEAN YES

- “sammy!” “it’s sam” well he’s fine, then

- OH FUCK NO

- GOD NO. WHY DID SHE. WHY IS SHE OUT OF THE MIRROR

- SHIT SHE’S KILLING THEM

- now she’s just looking at her reflection- OH SHE’S KILLING HERSELF??? OUROBOROS THE SNAKE EATS ITS TAIL

- see they should take charlie with them this should be allowed

- she should be part of the crew!! they need a woman here!

- dean’s eldest daughter issues can’t fix everything!

- oh fuck off sam with your “giving therapy to someone else when you actually need it”. i’ve been there too it doesn’t work out too great

- “there are some things i need to keep to myself” shut up and stop hallucinating your dead girlfriend

[professorspork]

today in the Andromeda Galaxy, GLITCHES TRIED TO KILL ME BUT I MADE IT WORK. or, well. Helen made it work, actually, and I was very grateful. (Elaaden, what do you have against my triangle button working? and wtf was that Nomad bug where suddenly I could see through time and the world contracted and my hair turned white????)

anyway.

this morning I joked to Helen that I was feeling very “I love all of my crew equally”/“I don’t care for Cora” so today I made a concerted effort to get to know her better--and tried a few Nomad combos where she wouldn’t sound like the fun police. (turns out, she and Vetra get along great! and also when I put her with Peebee she gets very self-conscious about how she’s totes not appropriating asari culture and it’s v embarrassing. on the OTHER hand, she makes fun of Peebee for peeping on Jaal and like, again, wtf, let me have my ot3.)

I started out finishing up that Morda drive core mission that glitched, and of course I gave the krogan the drive core in exchange for the outpost because I LOVE KROGAN and also RYDER LOVES OUTPOSTS. win/win tbh. but honestly the best part was getting to pick the dialogue option talking to Addison “fuck Tann” and Ryder actually getting to say fuck! it’s the little things.

after closing out Elaaden I decided to try and finish up a few errand-y missions like scanning plants, etc. in doing so, I got to play soccer with my very best friend Liam which was a heartwarming lot of fun, and fought TWO architects because just one was not enough. Peebee’s ex stole our beloved Proof Of Concept (I know the bot is called Poc, but honestly I think full-naming it is much cuter) and I was all “of course I’m gonna help you we’re in this together” which threw Peebee off her game because she’s still thrown every time someone cares about her. I AM, AGAIN, CANNOT EMPHASIZE THIS ENOUGH, GENUINELY SAD I’M GOING TO HAVE TO CHOOSE AMONG ROMANCE OPTIONS. this experience could not be more different from the main trilogy, where I romanced Liara out of a sense of obligation/curiosity faaaaaar more than any genuine interest or investment, and wasn’t tempted* to deviate from that by anyone else along the way. there are a thousand mechanical reasons why I think romance works much, much better in Andromeda than it ever did in the main series--among them the very pointed focus on found family throughout, the more nuanced ability to craft a unique Ryder by doing away with paragon/renegade and instead having the more robust conversation trees, and the overworld chatting on the Nomad giving EVERYONE the amount of personality off the bat that my OG crew had to like bite and claw for for two and a half games-- but like. I’m not gonna lie a big part of it is just that I just think more of these people are more interesting as potential partners. I THINK I AM AN ANDROMEDA GIRL. 

* well that’s a lie I would have romanced Tali in a heartbeat if I weren’t playing fem!Shep and that was illegal. and I’ll probably romance Sam Traynor after that. so. it’s not a total bust.

but I digress. 

saved that scientist’s baby on Voeld, and afterwards had my first ACTUAL, HUMAN conversation with Addison about--shockingly--the nature of friendship. I was genuinely surprised and pleased! look at us go! I also did some spying for that STG agent, and got the world’s most badly delivered “gee, are you really going to believe that old coot?” speech out of my main suspect, which was hilariously insulting.

and then, partly due to Helen’s advice and partly because, again, today was Learn To Appreciate Cora Day, I finished out her loyalty mission! I was shocked to find Sarissa alive after all the build-up-- I was certain that after that long a drum roll for how key she’d be in the Initiative’s growth that we’d find her mega-dead-- but as Helen pointed out to me, the trope is Don’t Meet Your Heroes, not Your Hero Is Probably Dead, Actually. her whole “be calm, soldier” routine @ Vedaria was kind of grating in the moment but is very cute after the fact, so fine. the whole muted sounds and gravity tricks of that final fight were super fun, even though I did accidentally jump into space once or twice. the big biotics lightshow was v impressive, but after I took a pretty hardline stance on Sarissa: come clean and shut up, and you’re fired. I did get a little offended when the asari captain was like “you could have killed us all, it was only dumb luck that Ryder found us” bc EXCUSE ME, SOME OF IT WAS DUMB SKILL, but still. it was good to get that all settled, and very good to hear Cora say what was immediately obvious to everyone but her, which is that her compulsion towards mentors and plans would have made her a poor Pathfinder but makes her a perfect XO. 

then I hit level 50 and spent a lot of time upgrading my gear, and like-- a kind god would have put the loadout console next to R&D and the buy/sell screen so I wouldn’t have to run up and down the Tempest corridor like an idiot. but whatever. Baby’s Fourth Beam Gun TM (an Avenger with a beam emitter) is working out splendidly, I’m slicing and dicing with my asari sword, and I’ve just put seeking plasma bolts on my Eagle which delights me. still shopping around for my ideal sniper before I commit but we’re getting there! 

then I went to start the new planet, but then realized Ark Natanus was right there, and ended up backtracking twice. First I ran back to the Nexus thinking there’d be another fun homecoming cut scene for the asari like there’d been for the salarians that I didn’t want to muddy with adding turians, too, only that didn’t happen. boo! I did remember to check on my mom, tho, so that was nice and emotional. then I went back to Netanus to start that up, only to realize I was wearing a very ugly and entirely face-obscuring helmet-- and once it was clear the entirety of the mission was going to be me emoting at Rix, I restarted the mission with a different armor loudout. yes, I am that vain, but only because opportunities for mlm/wlw solidarity are rare in this game (Gil’s been quiet lately, lol) and Rix deserved my best. though after doing all this, I am wondering: why do all the SAMs have different voices? surely making even one AI as smart and unique as SAM is difficult; then making each Ark’s SAM unique feels like an unnecessary burden? but whatever.

H-whateverthefuck is by far my favorite planet to Nomad around on. I’ve been complaining about the lack of low gravity mechanics since the Mako in ME1 (WE WENT TO THE MOON, THE LITERAL MOON, OUR MOON, AND NOT EVEN THAT HAD LOW GRAVITY?) and so this felt like pure vindication. (also, in general but very aggressively NOT for this planet because of the radiation, shout out to the Nomad for letting me get out no matter how poorly or vertically it’s parked, because lord knows I glitched the Mako many times trying to pause and get out in ‘impossible’ places the Nomad handles with ease.) anyway. the concept of a broken-up planet is terrifying, and the reality of it was eerie as all get-out. what neat execution!

and speaking of a neat execution, I’m so relieved going with the interrupt and firing at Meriwether while she held Sid worked, because I was again legit scared I might get Sid killed. as you’ll recall re: my Jaal loyalty mission, that’s the second time I was genuinely quite nervous there would be real consequences to screwing this up! I give the game a lot of credit for building a world where it feels like I really could screw up that badly. I’m very proud/fond of Sid, and the whole security camera mechanic was delightful-- a more fun version of the kind of stuff KOTOR always made me do. back on the Tempest, I decided to flirt with Vetra while the flirting’s still good, but tbh her flirt option (“I care about Sid bc I care about you”) wasn’t even all that romantically valanced, if you ask me! but also I love that Sid’s idea of justice is fast-tracking having cats in Heleus. 

phew! with so many big things now out of the way, I’m not sure how much dithering I can/should do before continuing with the main mission. but that’s a decision for future me.

[peachdoxie]

Okay! I’ve listened to eight more episodes of the Magnus Archives (99-106) and took notes on my phone in place of a liveblog, since my phone still can’t access tumblr. My laptop can, though, so I emailed the notes to myself. I figured I’d just post them all here for those of you following my liveblog, and also as a record for myself. It’s considerably more disjointed than when I usually post liveblog comments, but whatever. Anyway, below the cut are the notes. No spoilers, please.

Running list of the names that have showed up for sure

The Spiral

The Web

The Eye

The End

The Stranger

(Two others)

Possible names

The Buried? (Was this what Gertrude destroyed in the pit episode??)

The Hunt?

The Hive (is this the same as the Web)

The Filth?

The Meat (where does this fall??)

The Shrinking Walls (maybe the Buried?)

Episode 99:

Rip Jon worrying about his humanity and also the other people

Lol @jon worrying about the Admiral

WTF Gertrude's Michael is also the Michael???

How many Michaels are there???

Jon got kidnapped by the Russian/cockney guys

Episode 100:

Woman saw burning ghost of a woman in her flat. Jude?

Such an awkward episode lol

Peter Lucas person randomly shows up, static on tape, and says he has an appointment with Elias

"The only person you have to rely on is yourself" - but Jon is worried he's losing his sense of self, maybe?

Episode 101:

Michael doesn't want the Circus or the Archive to win

He wants to kill Jon for revenge

Did Gertrude sacrifice Michael for some reason? (Reminds me of the pit guy crying)

"To destroy our transcendence"

PETER LUCAS

Gertrude was good at "distorting the truth"

Michael (assistant) reminds me of Martin

Who the fuck was Gertrude???

"Of becoming. Of finally crossing the threshold into yourself."

Gertrude's map to Michael - who? how? why?

"And Michael became me."

What the actual fuck

"Reduced once again to feeding on the ??? and the confused"

Michael said Jon was a better Archivist than Gertrude—what???

The door is locked, but Michael says it's not (then he screams) WHAT THE FUCK

Helen Richardson....so Michael is now Helen, sort of. What's her game? She doesn't know yet. She is rescuing Jon though.

Episode 102:

The Dance, the Chorus

They need an important skin (hence the bear, but also maybe Jon's)

Jon having random knowing powers

I stg if Jon has to sacrifice Martin to save the world

Jon can read French

"stranger or filth"

There were several episodes with New Zealand

Get Jon some fucking therapy

Episode 103:

"Statement ends" *done sigh* (he does this like every episode lol)

So Jon used his abilities to get the traffic guy to get the paper

And now he's going behind Elias's back to meet with Daisy and get her to....?

Jon didn't realize he'd turned the recorder on. Huh. Was it him who did it? Was it a subconscious thing? Hmm.

WHY THE RECORDER

Episode 104:

Martin also zones out when reading statements

When did someone tell Martin about the Unknowing?

Tim has the circus book at the same time as all the stuff. Coincidence?

Why is Jon in China?

Also rip Tim. Why is his brother's disappearance relevant?

Ghost buildings. We've seen these before, like in the Pall Mall episode, and maybe the Archive as well.

I'm not surprised that Robert Smirck is involved

"The show must go on" what did he see???

Is this experience why Elias hired Tim? If so...why Martin?

How diegetic is the circus music? Didn't Jon say something about hearing music when talking about the circus earlier?

Huh. So Elias doesn't want Tim involved. Why?

Episode 105:

A sister organization. Hm.

Seeing the faces of those killed in the mirrors. And singing.

Was Gertrude searching for a new power? Why was she in China??

Oh, so Gertrude sent two files to somewhere in the US. Huh. Why?

Episode 106:

Didn't we already hear this guy speak already? I know the Daedalus came up before. I think.

"Existential vertigo"

This isn't the same one

OH this is isolation guy but from one of the other's perspective

Existential reasons - part of the psych profile?

Manuela and lasers

"The sense of a presence"

How does this connect to the isolation guy story?

Was this guy claimed as an avatar of this thing?

This is like the opposite of the shrinking walls. Are all the powers opposites?

Did Manuela also experience something?

Eldritch horror thing

This episode is quite unsettling

Where did that guy go? We’ve seen several “disappeared off the face of the earth” people

Also, when are they gonna connect the Daedalus statements together?

This episode passed the Bechdel test

Also, Melanie just....forgot? what she was reading

Also lol @them wondering if Jon and Martin are a thing

"I could have placed the ideas in your head" wtf who IS Elias?

FUCK. IVY MEADOWS. WHAT THE FUCK.

FUCK FUCK FUCK.

What is Elias doing to Melanie? What the fuck.

[whetstonefires]

hey for the 40 questions thing, 9, 10 and 28??

Okay first of all, massive props to you for sending a signed ask, that’s so rare, I did the hugest double take at your not being a Nonny. 😂💗 Anonymous asks are fine and all when people are being pleasant, but it’s always a little weird because my brain flips back and forth between treating all anon asks as being from the same faceless entity and being perfectly aware that the sender is a person, may or may not be the same person as any previous ask, and may even have a name I recognize. Internet gothic.

9) Which fic has been the hardest to write?

Oof. Quantifying that is...tricky, especially if I consider all my Cirque segments as separate fics. Disqualifying those, and everything that never made it to post-ready because it defeated me in the borning....

But A Walking Shadow is sort of Earth-3 adjacent but my battle with it is the battle with the compulsion to try to hew close to canon even after very deliberately tossing it out the window in chapter 1 on the grounds of ‘too goshdarn depressing, everyone is alive at all times.’ Stg the Titans death rate is so wild, after they got the go-ahead to start just making characters up they were allowed to kill people basically whenever, because nobody else needed them for anything.

And special mention should go to the 10k ‘chapter’ of my 5+1 AU collection fic that I finally posted just recently, after several years ago it decided that it wanted to be a full-length novel. But Self (I said) I Don’t Want To Develop An Entire Economy And Political History For The FFVII Setting So Cloud Can Make His Adopted Big Brother Be In Charge Of It! So that has kicked my ass pretty thoroughly. For about four years. 😂 I finally forced the opening (where Shinra collapses and small Sephiroth is abandoned in Nibelheim and Mrs. Strife finds him) to be done, and posted that.

But the thing is, neither of these would have expanded in the way they have and managed to destroy me so thoroughly were they not, in certain ways, extremely easy to write. So they seem like they can’t be the real correct responses.

So I guess the winner is that Red Hood And The Outlaws 10K fic I still owe to an anon whom I can’t consult about specs or anything because they made the request anonymously. Because I had to read Lobdell’s vol 2 run to fulfill the request and as some of you will recall, this process slaughtered me. I cannot with Lobdell. After great suffering I ran aground repeatedly on the shoals of Brainzarro.

NONNY IF YOU’RE STILL OUT THERE PLEASE CONTACT ME I’M VERY SORRY FOR BEING OVER A YEAR LATE, WE NEED TO TALK.

10) Which fic has been the easiest to write?

 Ooh, this is hard to assess for similar reasons. Sometimes stuff that took less effort wasn’t actually easier as-such, as a task, I just chose not to do it as well or as thoroughly; does that count?

Chaptered stories are inherently harder, of course, but generally the reason my chapter fics got so long in the first place was they were extraordinarily easy to write, and a great deal of them happened without too much suffering on my part. Either because the premise posed no significant complexities, or because I found it perennially inspiring.

Eventually that sort of progress always hits a wall, though, at least if you’re me. And you have to do the Work part. (This is pretty universal afaik.) I have several one-shot AUs to which continuations have been requested and in many cases sketched or begun, but not finished or posted because in addition to fleshing out the worldbuilding I have to grapple with questions like how much further I can take this concept without abandoning the particular tone in which I told the first part, and whether the tone or perspective I used is in fact the chief draw and so there’s no point.

This I eventually determined to be the case for ‘the tune without the words,’ the one where Jim Gordon runs into post-Under The Hood Jason at a bar, thinks he’s a traumatized veteran, and tries to recruit him to the GCPD.

There’s a plot there about Police Officer Jason, and the batfam reactions and interpersonal drama and whether and when and how Jason would fuck it up, and the identity porn of Batman knowing that Officer Todd Peters is the Red Hood and finding that telling Jim and not telling Jim seem equally unconscionable...but it’s not the same story as that scene in the bar. It’s the story that happens next, because of it. So I cut the bar scene loose from its hypothetical plot and posted it and it’s been quite well-liked.

But it’s certainly not the easiest, even though most of what’s in the posted fic went together fairly readily iirc, because giving up on making the subsequent story happen was such a fight.

...

What is ‘easy?’ What is ‘a fic?’ Watch me perish yet again at the intersection of epistemology and ontology. There are no simple questions there is only doom.

28) Share three of your favorite fic writers and why you like them so much.

OKAY THIS IS A DIFFERENT DIFFICULT. At least I’m not being asked to pick my Most Favorite, I’m so bad at favorites, I have to deduce my own favorite tea from behavioral cues.

I’m in the for-me bizarre position that more than three people whose fic I really enjoy are like, friends of mine and might see this. I cannot say any of them, the ones excluded would be Excluded, which I cannot do. So strangers only! Semi-randomly selected from my catalogue of faves!

Okay, let’s see. First one...AO3 user elanor_pam. We technically share no fandoms but I read their stuff for some reason (someone’s AO3 bookmarks I’m sure) and they just. They have really good sentences. I wind up caring intensely about whatever the story is about even if I have literally no idea what it is. And dialogue that’s just that really sweet balance of stylized and naturalistic. 

I’m following their fantasy webcomic The Path To Timbala, which is really good so far and also I’m doing the art historian/birdwatcher thing I do with like astolat where it’s like ‘hmm, yes, I recognize that theme/story element/aesthetic preference/pacing trick from [fanwork], how interesting to see it unfiltered through anyone else’s worldbuilding!’

Second. Mm. Slightly arbitrarily and on almost opposite grounds, Persephone_Kore, who hasn’t updated in like four years but contributed to a majority of my favorite fics in the Girl Genius fandom, which is not a crowded one, and wrote a couple others solo. Good combination of humor with pretty faithful characterization. Good rhythm in sentence composition, which allows for humorous asides without breaking narrative flow.

Third...hm, I’m gonna pick metisket for the distressing ability to drag my guts clear out on almost any topic. But especially fullmetal alchemist. Mostly I like that one AU where Al is dead and Ed is homicidally insane. But like, constructively.

None of these people are still writing fic and the webcomic just went on hiatus for six weeks, I am useless as a source of recs, have a nice day. 😂💞

[underwaterwoods]

so i saw the star war

spoilers ahoy

i guess this is just gonna be random bullet points

* i actually feel pretty chill about it. yay for being spoiled. also like.... if you ignore the ridiculous stuff there’s actually a lot to have fun with in this one. i don’t know how i’ll feel about it once i’ve processed it more. i just know i had fun while watching it, which i know isn’t true for everybody. i totally understand the negativity - it all makes sense to me. i’m just glad i sort of.... FORCED myself to have enough distance to just go in like ‘i’M PrepArED fOr wHAtEveR’

*i did like all the jumping around between locations in the first half and how ben would show up everywhere rey was. what a ‘you’re everywhere i go’ pairing. /chef’s kiss/. also having the different locations gives a sense of spaciousness (even if it’s all happening over a short period of time) which i missed in tlj.

*one of the things that gave me the most joy as the hux thing ??? X’’’D it was EXACTLY like that ‘the farce awakens’ ep where hux LITERALLY JOINS THE RESISTANCE cuz he can’t stand kylo. like what kind of fanfic...... how do the hux fans out there feel? (i really love the hux fans they’re a great bunch XD). shame that he was gone right after though.

* i actually enjoyed the trio dynamic? like i get the desire to move away from ‘trio mentality’ but the rey/poe tension with finn as mediator was fun. and finn and poe as joint generals? adorable. shame that the whole finn/poe thing got a bit clouded by.... stormpilot baiting and rose erasure and all the things... Also i’m not anti any character - i like zorii - but.... let poe stay a gay icon? i guess he can still be a queer icon it’s all good i’m down for whatever.

*speaking of finn.... loved seeing more of his humour back. didn’t love that there was no unpacking of how he feels taking out stormtroopers. but loved the found family of jannah and the other ex-stormtroopers. i feel like that gave SOME resolution/depth to finn’s origins. and finn being a non force user but seemingly super attuned to the force and its ways? i can roll with that.

*more speaking of finn... i wonder what they were doing with the ‘thing he wants to tell rey that he never gets to tell rey’. seems like an obvious ‘i love you’ thing. but at the same time we got reylo (/basks in that for a second/). it feels to me like throwing a bone to the finnrey people? like they didn’t get it in this movie but it could be a thing in the future? regaurdless, i did like how finn and rey were very connected and back to that loving friendship they had in tfa. we never quite got the ‘you have a force bond with the supreme leader?!!’ conversation but we got.... SOME conversation.

* speaking of the supreme leader... kinda love that we got renperor AND ben solo TM. i prefer to view ben more holistically (he is both ‘ben’ and ‘kylo’) but i get that making them two distinct identities was a helpful shortcut of sorts. he could ‘kill’ kylo and switch to being ben in a single scene. i always prefer Soft Boi Ben but if we were gonna get Bad Boy Kylo i’m glad they established it right out the gate. it was like ok, this is what to expect; this is where we’re at with this character. 

*ben with his costume change at the end....... omg. gave me BIG smuggler!Ben vibes. urgh, give me all the AUs. ben deserves more.

*the amount of swagger when he was fighting the KOR

*idk i feel like i’m not even touching on the big stuff. this was just a ‘get all my side thoughts out of my system’ post.

*adam’s smile after the kiss though......... ...  /the most beautiful thing in this world/

*truly iconic that people were right about the strategic, covert introduction of force healing via baby yoda like one month before tros.

*oh yeah it was wILD that so much of the imagery from the trailers/tv spots etc was in like the first five mintues of the movie ??? i totally assumed the ‘i have been every voice you’ve ever heard inside your head’ moment would be climactic rather than right up front

*oh yeah the vader mask.... that didn’t really mean anything in the end then did it?

* re: ben’s death. maybe it’s because i was braced for it but in some ways it’s the best way he could have gone. he was definitely happy and reunited with the light - both through love of rey and of his family. hIGHKey could have done with ben’s force ghost also appearing at the end? the only good thing about not seeing it is.... LF deciding to retcon his death ? ??XD obs they’re not gonna but if you want a crackpot silver lining there it is.

*what exactly does rey’s future look like, may i ask?

* oh yeah, Passing The Saber Through The Force. maybe my favourite moment. the force bond as a bare concept is so romantic to me i would watch a whole trilogy just exploring the magic system of that - it’s limitations and possibilities. 

* i do like that jj developed the visual style of the bond. we got to see them occupying the same space, the way each of them would be seeing the other (’can you see my surroundings, i can’t see yours, just you’)

*i miss that rian johnson sound editing on the bond though..... god, the iNTIMACY of the tlj bond scenes....

*’i DID want to take your hand’

*also just the word choice of ‘take your hand’/ ‘i offered you my hand’. it’s extremely marriage.

*there was also a moment in the hanger when ben was like ‘we’re one’ basically? he was saying it in the context of rey’s lineage but still...............the validation. one soul. 

*palps was like ‘you live and die together’ which made me REALLY think of skytalkers podcast. obviously assumed they would both have to LIVE together but.... /deep sigh/

*blah this could go on forever i’ll add more later

edit #1:

* OH YEAH! reverse anidala was such a thing! why did it have to be SO reverse anidala though? X’D instead of taking her life, he gives her his own. (i know it’s not clear anakin totally killed padme etc etc but ya feel me)

* ok i hate that ben died obvs obvs but, taking that for what it is, it was very romeo and juliet. i kinda love just the imagery of it. like... the physical blocking/choreography of adam getting daisy into his arms, holding her, then he falls and it’s her holding him. the way she catches his neck. really reminded me of the smoothness of the bridal carry. and rey’s flexed foot in that moment of shock. love the body language. back to that kind of ‘’staccato’’ rey of tfa days.

edit #2:

*lololol @ LF trying to establish how ‘bad’ kylo is by having him kill a bunch of people in the beginning. it was just.... Hot.

edit #3:

* rose deserves better. obviously. she looked so good though. i like that she had some moments with connix too. 

* ben called han ‘dad’......

*ben standing there, overlooking the waves, with his leG EXTENDED BEFORE HIM. wanderer above a sea of fog. wanderer above a sea of foggg.

* rey having compassion for the snake thing. we been knew. kinda nice to have it in there. obviously good set up for ~later force healing shenanigans~

* OH YEAH OH YEAH. i kept thinking about atla. i know people have been making comparisons to it from the start and i’ve been DEEPLY INTO those comparisons. but it was truly a blessing for me to remember.... there is a version of this out there that you love and that is Good Content TM. legit i can just go watch atla again to heal from this. omg yeah cuz REY HEALING HIS WOUND ALSO HEALED HIS SCAR. very crystal cave.......... nah but nah but - the ‘you are every jedi’ was EXTREMELY avatar-esk..... like, engage avatar state. i don’t like how it ended up being the same old conflict between jedi and sith - ‘good’ and ‘bad’ - OBVIOUSLY THE POINT IS TO INTEGRATE THE CONFLICTING PARTS OF SELF; THE SHADOW SIDE; TO TRANSCEND OLD DICHOTOMIES - but i did love hearing all the voices from past jedi. that’s some good ‘the ancestors are with you’ shit.

edit #4:

* i think the first thing we hear rey say is ‘be with me’? ngl i was like ‘pls be invoking the force bond’ X’D i am a clown. that was a beautiful shot though. and love that a version of the bond kicked in like two seconds after that. 

edit #5:

*there’s that bit where reylo are fighting on the death star ruins and he’s winning and rey kinda falls to her knees panting and lowkey defeated and, not to be a shallow bitch but..... it was Hot.

*also dark rey......... was HOT. SHE WAS SO KIRA, WHATEVER THE FUCK THAT MEANS, AND I WAS INTO IT LIKE HNGGGG

*obvs i wanted rey to be truly no one. but casting jodie comer as rey’s mum ? ????? urgh, pefection, i love it.

*palps was so random i stg..... his plan was.... convoluted to say the least. 

*also who was under all those hoods?

*the KOR just kinda... being around again was hilarious. no explaination required. the boys are back in town. ben facing them without a mask and essentially wearing his pjs? loved it. 

edit #6:

*seriously though ben’s redemption outfit.............. /heart eyes emoji into the sunset/.......... you can see his collar bone.............. /cares about the important things/.................

edit #7:

*one thing i loved about the reylo was how Space Wizards TM they both were in this movie. it so highlights their connection by making it clear that they are each other’s only peer. i thought it would be a thing of ‘why is the supreme leader constantly interacting with/going after this girl?’ but it’s not because it’s so clear that they are the only two people on each others’ level. no one would dare question the fact that they’re constantly circling each other in a lustful murderous rage.

[incorrectly-quoted-queers]

Drunk Punch Love: INTERMISSION ARCHANGEL

Pairing: FemShep and Garrus Vakarian (Shakarian)

Rating: PG-13 (with some tossed F-bombs)

Summary: Their awkward, badass journey through saving the galaxy and accidentally falling in love

INTERMISSION ARCHANGEL: 100 Days

Their team was growing faster than Garrus or Sidonis could keep up. Their first base was Garrus' shitty apartment in Zakera Wards, where he and Sidonis stayed. It only took a free drink for Garrus to get Lantar's story. Sidonis wanted to bite back because the Blue Suns used to use Ward kids to run errands, get info, sneak in where they couldn't. Like Citadel Rats, but much more dangerous. He was a homeless kid and they gave him persk and safehouses; he grew up in their systems and never questioned it. That is, until they upgraded Sidonis to be a handler and then willingly sent all of his kids at a target to get killed. "Had to test their guns", they said. Most of his life, Sidonis just thought the danger was normal, that none of it was a big deal. But after none of his kids came back, he realized he was just one of the lucky ones.

He wanted to help make more lucky ones.

Worked for Garrus, and having a remorseful ex-informant gave them a lot more options on Omega. Garrus' name caught a little too much attention from the mercs who'd run into him and Shepard before, so they leaned on Sidonis' contacts to build up a team and get leads. And after a few duo missions to get the point across that they were serious, the locals started calling Garrus "Archangel".

It was a good enough code name.

In only a few months, they picked up infamy and six other guys. Apparently, word of trying to strike back against the mercs travelled fast.

The first to join up were locals, like Ryel Eros, Jawth, and Nikolai Butler. Ryel used to work for Aria as a guard, but went underground when he found some of her practices unsavory. Jawth used to help the rich stay safe on Omega, but he got sick of how many cameras refused to look out. Reminded him a little too much of his fracture homeworld. And Nikolai spent all his life on Omega, even was a member of Eclipse for a long time. But then he fell in love with his wife, Nalah, and he couldn't make excuses for himself anymore. Especially not when Eclipse sacrificed her merc sister, Ezzi, in favor of some payday.

Oddball outcasts like Gibbon Allus, Ro'Wytte Vas Omega, and Danit Zol followed. Without their own homes anymore, they wanted to do some good in one of the worst places in the galaxy. Garrus could hardly say no to a Salarian explosives expert, a Quarian trap technician, or a Batarian tech genius. Especially since he was pretty sure Gibbon had been in the STG at one point and the guy applied to the team by blowing up a whole lading dock.

Everything they did started small; protecting a few local businesses, stealing some drop offs to get in the gangs' way. They called themselves a merc group, but their money didn't come from people paying them for protection. That would make what they were doing pointless, a new band of thugs taking over. No, they stole from those drop offs and worked with that.

Back in the day, Shepard called that "Robin Hood style", when they took from bad guys. He finally bothered to look up the Earth story. He kinda liked the idea of it. It was just his style, too; breaking the rules to do the right thing.

Over time, Ryel and Sidonis' old connections started to net them serious jobs, and get them serious infamy along with it.

By the time they succeeded in their first big operation, breaking a nearby blackmailed mining colony out of the Blood Pack's grips, Garrus couldn't even take his guys out for drinks anymore. His gear was too recognizable. Instead, Butler's wife picked up the booze and they celebrated back in the dingy apartment.

It wasn't much space, but it was enough to fit eight guys and all their gear, so for one night it would do. And Garrus was finally feeling like a real person again, like the things he did mattered, so he was more than happy to drown himself in that, no matter how crowded it was.

Maybe he wouldn't have to drown himself if he still didn't think of Shepard each time Nikolai ordered vodka.

Even when things were going good, though, it was hard not to think about her sometimes. She would've loved this. At first she'd just find it hilariously absurd, this sheer variety of misfits banding together to try to fight merc presence on Omega of all places. But then Shepard would've admired it. Hell, she would've put everything she had into it. Maybe that's why he found himself so dedicated to pulling these guys together.

Yeah, he couldn't think about that too long or he'd be lost in a glass of ryncol again. And he avoided doing that nowadays.

Garrus just tried to enjoy what he had at the moment. Some good fighters, a good team, and they were doing some damn good.

And thank fucking spirits, they never asked him to make speeches.

Butler did like to get real talkative when he started drinking, though. Between his name and attitude, he was like the bizarre love child of Joker and Shepard, something both of them would find disgusting. Garrus had to admit, it made him like the guy more.

Standing on the damned table, Butler said, "To the asshole turian that brought us all together. I'd let you snipe me anyday, Garrus."

"Sounds like a pick-up line, but I'll take it."

Butler wasn't done. "I shot my first guy when he was trying to mug my friend, and Eclipse took me in. I thought they were saving me. But this? This is what's saving me."

Garrus wasn't sure what Nalah put in their drinks, but soon all of them were getting nostalgic. Across the room, Danit was fiddling with this handheld puzzle he always had with him. He didn't look up, but he added his own comments. "People don't expect Batarians to be much more than gun-toting mercs. I like proving them wrong, in every category."

Ro'Wytte started chuckling. "Hell, I enjoy being a good guy Quarian rebel. The Flotilla doesn't get to tell me how to make the galaxy a better place."

"I feel that way about STG."

Jawth chuckled from across the room. "It's the only reason why I like you, Salarian."

The constant troublemaker, Ryel, was the one sitting in the corner with his arms crossed. "Yeah, we all know each other's reasons for being here real well. Comes up in a cramped apartment. But what about you, Garrus? You've been pretty tight lipped about what got you here."

Moments like these cut a little too close to the woman he was failing to run from. Luckily, Alliance military wasn't too keen on sharing Shepard's team dossiers and Sidonis was the only one with an obsession for battle vids. As far as they knew, he was just a skilled turian sniper who wanted to bite back.

Before he could open his mouth, though, Sidonis started talking. "Garrus has the best story, guys, he-"

Garrus cut the well-meaning loud-mouth off. "I'm no one. Just an ex-C-sec who got tired of the red tape. After the Battle of the Citadel, I... lost myself. Ended up here. Couldn't help but try to do some good."

Everyone else wasn't really paying attention or didn't really care that much, but Ryel smirked at him like he knew a secret. "Okay, Vakarian, keep your secrets."

Growing uncomfortable with the spotlight, Garrus was about ready to spin some bullshit about his childhood or a lost girlfriend. But Gibbon and Danit bored easily, so the second conversation lulled, they lured most everyone into some sort of card game. Only three people weren't playing: Butler ditched to go home to his wife, and he and Sidonis stuck to the sidelines. He could already feel the questions burning in Lantar's mouth before he said anything.

It only took all of thirty seconds for Sidonis to ask, "Why are you keeping your past a secret from them?"

"They don't need to know."

"I dunno, if I knew my squad leader helped take down a rogue Spectre I'd find that pretty inspiring."

He was trying not to get annoyed, he really was, but Sidonis just didn't get it. Everything about that time in his life was choked out by Shepard. He could share stories, ideas with them. But having them know he was close buddies with the now dead Savior of the Citadel? He didn't want to go down that road with all their questions. His heart used to hemorrhage so much blood he could feel it every second of every day. Now, it just got weak sometimes. Garrus couldn't go back just because his team got curious.

Them falling in love with his "old hero days" with her would not help.

And he didn't want his team talking about her the way the vids did; it would be fucking unbearable.

Garrus just tried to keep his answer simple, though. "I don't want to make what we're doing about who I was then."

"Oh, I get it. You want them to see you as their leader, not Commander Shepard's lackey?"

The question was so self-centered, it stunned him. But did he really want to keep this line of conversation going, the kind that tiptoed around the awful truths of Anya Shepard and her long-gone ballet shoes? Yeah, thinking about that much longer felt much fucking worse than Sidonis not understanding him. With a wave, Garrus said, "Sure. That."

"Okay, so not that." Sidonis leaned against the wall next to him and said, "You know, you're not going to be able to keep it from them forever."

"Says who?"

"You really like leaning into this whole mysterious, masked vigilante thing, huh?" Sidonis laughed at him, but the more Garrus glared at him, he only seemed to find it funnier. "You're a regular turian Batman, scowl and all."

"Who the hell is Batman?"

Even though his mood was pretty soured, Sidonis had this nostalgic grin on his face that was kinda infectious. If Garrus wasn't so annoyed, he wouldn't hate it. "When I was a kid, one of the other Omega Rats had these old Earth comic books. They were filled with superheroes and we idolized them. One was a cranky guy named Batman, who was just a normal human, but with lots of tech, training, and dark hero-type convictions. You kinda remind me of him."

Garrus just stared at the guy, because everything that came out of his mouth sounded crazy. But he also didn't want to admit it sounded like some of the crazy human stories Shep used to share with him. He'd bought a couple James Bond vids on impulse, down at the shops. He didn't want to tell Sidnois that. Instead, he focused on the absurd hero part. "Why would anyone take a guy named Batman seriously."

"Coming from a guy code-named Archangel." Garrus growled, but Sidonis just kept on smirking. "You can glare and growl all you want, but you're a hero, backstory or not. Get used to the fact these guys just want to know you because they believe in you." Then, he bumped shoulders with him and added, "But if you want to remain a man of mystery, I got your back."

This time, Garrus stayed quiet, no growling or glaring. Because he didn't want to remember the same words coming out of his mouth only a few months ago, and where that got him. Or the woman he said them to.

Across the room, Danit and Ro started to argue about who was cheating, because of course one of them couldn't just lose. It was starting some chaos, and Sidonis went over to break it up. However dumb it was, it was nice to be apart of something again; something that brought good, weird people together.

He hated to admit how much it reminded him of the Normandy.

Looking at his guys, maybe where he ended up after Shepard wasn't so bad, after all. If it didn't take losing her to get here, he didn't want to change anything, honestly.

But losing her was still going to be the hardest part of all this, no matter what.

The best he could do was enjoy what he had left. Walking over to the table, he asked, "Deal me in?"

Jawth tossed a hand of cards to him, ready to go. "Never thought you'd ask. We need another guy with the proper quads in on this."

No one took that very well, but Garrus was happy to play the game to the sweet sound of their bickering. He was really starting to love hearing it.

/

I like Garrus' team more than I probably should, and it definitely made me a little over-indulgent and distracted while writing it.

BUT I did name some of these characters after my friends so I'm a little biased.

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