#I’m going through it tonight
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Screaming crying wailing throwing up over Francesca by Hozier
#he’d go through eternal pain and suffering just to hold her for a minute#it’s all worth it to him just for 60 seconds of perfection#I’m going through it tonight#hozier
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JC will always be number one bae, but watching hot ones tonight fully reminded me of my very lengthy period of NSYNC fandom when I was a feral Joey girlie.
#😂😂😂#outing myself as a Joey stan tonight#yes I wrote a massive NSYNC self insert fic in my teens#and wrote my bestie’s character in a love triangle with Justin and jc#while my self insert was with Joey#and then later Jacob from otown Lmao#but can we talk about how Joey is still lowkey daddy tho?#I’m going through it tonight
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phoebe was right when she said i hate you for what you did and i miss you like a little kid.
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Okay can I be a bitter Anders fan for like. Just 2 minutes here lmao
Cause bioware released some game stats for veilguard and apparently 72% of players redeemed Solas which is like. Okay yeah the game kinda pushes you towards that. But when I think of all the shit I used to have to put up with just for enjoying Anders like at all and…
(This is not me being anti-Solas, I do not care if you love or hate him, but I am gonna say what he’s done is like. Objectively worse than literally every other companion so lmao. And that’s fine! You can still enjoy him! I’m not saying you can’t and it’s important to me that people understand that! I’m just saying he did in fact do objectively morally worse things in game than Anders did and I don’t think that’s really debatable. And I can’t really make my point here without saying that but I do want to make it clear this is not some moral condemnation of Solas enjoyers cause it’s not)
Getting anon hate on the regular, being told “oh you’re allowed to like Anders as long as you regularly talk about how much he sucks”, people gleefully describing how much fun they have killing him ON your posts about the fact that you like him, the devs making jokes about shitty fates for him when fans asked innocent questions about him, the absolute audacity of his writer to say half the shit she did in interviews (about bisexuality and mental illness, most critically), and then being beaten over the head again in inquisition about how Anders is the worst character to ever exist and there’s no redemption for terrorists who lie to you one time in the entire game and he deserves death or worse and that’s it
And now… 72% of people are down to redeem the guy who lies to you for 2 games straight and who did a lot of questionable things that includes creating the fucking blight and. Like. I guess I’m glad that Solas fans can live in a world where they aren’t constantly harassed and can give their ship like. A pretty damn good ending all things considered. And that the devs love Solas and actually give the option for that happy ending and have characters go to bat for Solas throughout the game and the most annoying thing they have to see are people making scrambled egg memes. I would not wish anyone to have to deal with the shit Anders fans had to put up with back then cause it sucked. It really sucked. And I’m glad it’s not being repeated with a different character, if nothing else
But like. Man there really is a difference when the writers actually like the character who does the thing, huh
#shut up nerd#anders#I’m sorry it’s just. really hard to not be bitter tbh#like the shit we as fans went through#just for liking a damn character#tbf I do actually think if the game came out today perceptions would be different#I think people would be more comfortable with revolutionary action now than they were then#but even still#it’s not even about that you know#it’s about people (both fans and at times the actual devs) being mean when they really didn’t need to be#and the DA trenches are probably why literally no harassment phases me anymore lmao but#that’s not a good thing slskd it’s just a useful consequence I guess#so yeah idk#am I jealous that Solas fans get to have a better experience?#yeah I can’t deny I feel a bit of that#but I’m also just. idk tired and sad for what that time was. and also glad that it seems to be over#but also a little bitter that I had to go through it when it didn’t need to happen at all#idk just feeling a lot here in this chili’s tonight lmao#(why do I say that I don’t think my country even has chili’s)#ANYWAY#dragon age#veilguard spoilers
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can’t help but think of how, if we choose to go by sirius’ characterisation as a private, arrogant teen who only lets a select few into his circle, sirius’ post-azkaban life just have been such an utterly humiliating experience for him.
especially OoTP. when he has all these near strangers in his childhood house, that he hated and loved and ran away from and couldn’t ever escape. if he spent his entire pre-azkaban existence building a cold and aloof persona, not letting people know what his home life had been like, then to have all of these people get a front row seat to it because of kreacher and portrait walburga’s shenanigans must have been near unbearable. to have the entire order, including snape whom he disliked and mistrusted, hear the kinds of names he’s being called.
not only does he have to deal with the retraumatisation of his childhood, but also the fact that he’s flayed open for everyone to see. it’s not only his freedom, innocence, dignity that has been snatched from him but his privacy also. it’s such a cruel thing to experience, on top of everything else.
to have literal children, his godson who he has been kept away from all this while, whom he presumably wants to be able to look up to him, to have him see into the deepest parts of his soul. to have to be so weak in front of him. not only is he subjected to such vileness but he also cannot do anything about it.
sirius has not had a moment of peace in all the time we knew him. it is indignity upon indignity that is heaped onto him. every other character has gotten a moment of respite but him. it fully breaks my heart.
#sirius black#i am in the mood to sob tonight clearly#i just#was reading a fic#where it recounted walburga ad kreacher’s screams and taunts#and it suddenly hit me how humiliating they are?#like#even if it’s an inanimate object and a house elf#to be called an embarrassment and shame of my flesh and filth#by the only remaining members of your family#and to have it be traced back to your family#to know that your mother was alive but did not care that u were in azkaban#and that everyone else knows it too now#to walk around in every corner of your childhood house and be able to see exactly how u grew up#no boundaries no limits#to have other people keep touching parts of your family with the audacity to throw them out#and move it around#to call your home names#i just. cannot imagine.#the level of helplessness he was operating with#is it really any wonder he was the way he was#hell. he was actually so much better than he should’ve been#lesser men would’ve been catatonic or going off on a rage fuelled warpath#it’s so embarrassing to have your parent even correct u in front of friends sometimes#and to hear all this abuse. shouted at you.#and not one person ever stands up for him#or shows him any empathy#i’m actually amazed that even after all these years i’m able to find new tragedies in sirius life#HAS THAT MAN NOT BEEN THROUGH ENOUGH#pen’s notes
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Late night scribbly again. I just like drawing face touches.
#dragon age#dragon age the veilguard#DAtV#Emmrich volkarin#my art#been busy today packing orders and going through comms#Brain is just craving soft visuals again#so soft touches it is#Emmy being so sweet with a warm hand touching him#holding him gently#leaning into it and just lying on rook#before falling asleep in each others arms#soft thoughts tonight#I’m so eepy
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#wonbiinz.rambles#oof … i’m really going through it tonight y’all … i miss seunghan so much :( i hope we get to see him again soon#riize#seunghan#riize seunghan#hong seunghan
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When your game crashes and you haven’t saved in several hours
#NO!!!!!!!!#I HATE IT HERE 😭#This is the WOOOOOORSSTTTT#I can’t. I don’t have the strength to play through all of that again. There’s no way 😭#At least not tonight. I have to go back to work tomorrow so I can’t stay up late regaining all my progress#It sucks bc the game auto saves too! But it hasn’t auto saved in a while 🥺#I’m so. Sad. I’m just sad#And a little frustrated. Lol#Shima speaks
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Spinning the RITF lyrics in my mind as one does and like. Damn. It’s obvious Darry’s having mental health problems but when you look closer at the lyrics he’s REALLY having mental health problems
#I’m not letting myself analyze in detail tonight I should be showering then watching my film studies movie for tomorrow right now#so maybe demain I will monologue about Darry going through it#og#the outsiders#the outsiders musical#darry curtis
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aaron “thick dick” hotchner. aaron “can last forever” hotchner. aaron “y’all be afraid to moan but i be in my girl ear like….” hotchner. aaron “i know, but you can take it. you always do.” hotchner. aaron “tummy and arms” hotchner. aaron “lazy sex” hotchner.
#sorry i’m going through it tonight#[hotch]#i need that dick……. i need it to burn going in. i need it to drag along that spot and make me feel it in my spine.
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GOOD MORNING HAPPY FRIDAY TO YOU ALL!!!! ITS THE END OF THE WEEK WE PUSHED THROUGH ILY ALL 💞💞💞
#nina rambles~✦#I haven’t done one of these in a bit#BUT#updates#on my writing and stuff#requests are closed in the meantime#my inbox is open to your thoughts but full on requests are a Nono#I have over 30 asks that I’m going to sift through tonight and weed out the requests from the non requests#and over the weekend I’ll be writing a bunch of requests#I really want to clear my inbox of any and all things#because I want to do a follower event#I’ve had one in my drafts since fucking January#and I’m well past the milestone it was meant for#but yeah the next time my requests will be open again is for that follower event#and I’m excited!!!#I’ve been busy these past two weeks but this weekend seems clear enough to write for a while#teehee#okay#enough rambling#back to work I go#adios
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s3 episode 6 thoughts
it’s been an exhausting day. work was awful. i was brave and didn’t cry whilst there. and for that, i deserve this episode even more than usual.
oooooh it’s an internet episode!!!! an episode about an internet killer!!! that probably felt new and scary back then!!! i’m excited to see something i assume as naturally dangerous as hitchhiking to be seen as scary and new. let us jump in, and enjoy the adventures of our agents, and numb ourselves to the hardship of the outside world.
these two people are in a car. he is smooth talking her. oh… they only waited three months to meet in person after talking online. hmm… is that speedy or not? i guess that depends on who you ask. for me, i’m gonna say speedy. because they didn’t even see each other’s faces before this.
he has mysterious scars on his neck. yeah, i noticed that very conspicuous camera panning. the music is very ominous. and now they’re kissing.
OH??? THERE IS A STICKY FLUID. IN HER MOUTH. an unusual one. not whatever you were thinking. what the hell… was that man some kind of insect????? there was real goop in there, man. eughhh it was very gross.
cop is approaching the car next day. and she is like. jelly? as in, covered in gel. the gelatin monster has struck and apparently he’s surfing the net.
(trust when i say i’m not a gelatin monster. or don’t trust. perhaps skepticism is better)
okay, investigation time. this guy shakes hands with mulder and entirely ignores scully. tells me a lot about his character very quickly. mulder has also got some more conventional looking shades this time around. perhaps his other ones were just not keeping the sun out like he had hoped for.
body reveal! so it seems that the goop has um. melted her skin? EUGH. mulder swabs the goop. it’s just a prop, i tell myself to avoid gagging. a prop with excellent construction that was very carefully crafted. shoutout prop team as always.
detective looks real freaked out by the goop. yeah he’s not special in that regard.
mulder says he has heard of similar killings from women placing ads in the paper! i don’t want them to separate though, as he announce he’s going on an investigation while she does an autopsy. c’mon, can’t we do some teamwork in the same room?
scully looks disgusted at the bloody goop in her hand. this is appearing to be a universal sentiment.
the goop man is at the computer typing to another woman. and smiling mischievously. we learn, from a woman dropping a key off at his door, that his name is mr. incanto, and she thinks that since he types and gets a lot of packages, he must be a writer or an editor. and she wants him to read her poems. wow. leaping to conclusions here. i admire it. it’s clear she’s flirting with him, and the idea of a person you’re attracted to reading your poems is a wild one for me to entertain. personally i would rather explode crazy style.
scully is scrubbed up <3 and she is so cute <3 i don’t mean this in a condescending way… she just looks cute in a fully “i respect her capabilities” kind of way. don’t worry. but this man is not respecting her and is shocked she’s a doctor. rude as hell… could never be me.
he says he’s old fashioned. umm okay if you want to be all manly about it how about you cut up the goop body yourself… oh that’s right you can’t. because you don’t have the skill set. or even any skill sets, as far as i can tell.
he says this is effecting her judgement because the victim is a woman and he isn’t being sexist. IF YOU DON’T SHUT YOUR MOUTH MAN…. she is so patient even when she ought to rip his heart from his chest with her teeth
she’s making a face when he leaves like she really IS thinking about doing some heart ripping and then she gets into the recording mode. and the body has increased in goopiness. in fact. there is only a skeleton now and a LOT of liquid. oh…
mulder is asking about the murder victim, and he’s sitting on a very 90’s printed couch, and yeah he looks good. don’t worry about it. he’s asking the victim’s roommate what chat room they met in. now personally, if i was talking to people on a chat room, i would not be telling my roommate the names of said chat rooms, but maybe it was different vibe wise at that time. imagine if my roommate knew i ran a blog like this. i couldn’t picture such a thing. and the victim would READ her roommate the letters???!? OH I CANNOT IMAGINE SUCH A THING!!!!
he uses the roommate’s house phone to call scully, who is dealing with a very wet skeleton. but that’s so funny to me. he wanted to use someone else’s phone to call her. maybe his phone still hadn’t been replaced since that kid melted it in episode 3.
he’s putting out a localized online warning… is that a thing? wow. you learn so much on this television program.
“in life, bones have the tensile strength of forged iron”, says scully. and i’m giggling. n kicking my feet.
ohhh the bone is SQUISHY. it is not supposed to be this way. but it did look quite satisfying. again, props team, shoutout.
oh tea… the body fat wasn’t there!!! it disappeared. scully is like, why would he do that, steal a victim’s fat. and i would love to know the same thing.
another woman is preparing to meet with the goop monster. oh, but someone is telling her there was a warning SPECIFICALLY for woman in cleveland to not go meet people online! but she’s like nooo i’m a good judge of character. LIES LIES LIES. she’s only been talking to him for a MONTH???? HOW CAN YOU JUDGE A CHARACTER IN A MONTH?
the killer’s at a fancy restaurant looking place with a bouquet of flowers and he’s checking his watch. oh and he dumps the flowers!!! queen of self preservation saved herself tonight by standing him up??? yes, it appears this is the case!!
now there are a bunch of ladies on the side of the road. i have only seen this happen in this show and never in real life, but maybe i'm not looking in the right direction. NO! he sees a woman and smiles. they go to a back alley… no!! but she won’t kiss him. okay, i think, she has a chance. alas. i was wrong. so he attacks. OH AND HE IS SLURPING ON HER BODY???? another woman finds her goop-ified.
they’re at the scene and the detective is being awful (shocker!) but mulder hands over some of the letters from the killer, and notes that they contain letters from 16th century italian poems. which tells me he is familiar with 16th century italian poems. ohhhhhhhhhh. blushing a lil.
focus. so the fellow would have access to niche italian poems, is what we are learning here. likely a college professor, or a grad student, or something along those lines.
the killer should also have a wound pattern, they note, because the woman scratched him very well.
and BLEGHHHH, cut to his place, where he’s cutting his wound??? like straight up trimming it like it’s fabric or something. nasty nasty nasty nasty!!!
someone is bringing him a package. and the woman who asked to show him her poems asks him to dinner?!?!?! but he says he’s busy. the teenage daughter reads him for filth. he’s creepy and smells weird. delivered by a girl who meant every word she said.
scully is posing impeccably, looking as someone types on a computer. it was formidable.
mulder comes by with some results and he sort of. scoops her out of the room. 😳
theory time in the hallway! hallway theory time!! always one of my favorite times. “okay, it’s not yet the finely detailed insanity that you’ve come to expect from me” <- at least he’s self aware
FAT SUCKING VAMPIRE LET’S GOOOO. such a preposterous creature. i have to admire it.
there are examples of this in nature, right? “i don’t know too many scorpions who surf the internet” scully, you just offended the coolest scorpion alive somewhere out there. but they couldn’t hear you so it’s okay. just don’t ever say that again…
scully wants to brief the people involved in the case and the detective is again being weird. mulder recognizes this. i can see it.
okay, so the killer has some more niche italian poetry. and an email from the woman who saved herself by not showing up! nooo, i thought she had escaped!
knock at the door. it’s scully. but not at the door of the right guy!! the detective is at the door of the right guy!!!
mulder makes some remark about not being a good salesman because no one answered the door. and yeah i giggled. but she cuts him off with the fact the detective hasn’t answered his calls or returned… has he been gooped?!
now the killer is out with the woman who previously saved herself. and she sees his skin. and she offers to drive him home!!! noooo ellen :( don’t fall for his tricks and lies
the poetry woman is at his door. she puts a HUGE thing of poems under his door.
but back in the car he is about to smooch ellen. somehow poetry lady let herself into his room??? and a bunch of flies are around.
(we later learn she was the housekeeper or landlord or something so yeah. she would have access to the keys. but at the time i was baffled)
goop monster and ellen don’t smooch because he sees the poem lady is in his room!!! and the detective is in the tub!!! and he walks in right as she sees this!!! oh no. violence ensues…
her daughter comes to the door. and asks where her mom is. and he GRABS her weird as hell. and says he’s leaving.
mulder is sitting on a table again because he’s weird. but the girl calls the police!!! and they found her mom’s body and the detective's. the little girl asks scully why someone would do this and she says she doesn’t know… STOP I’LL SOB
okay, this dude’s name is virgil and there are no records of him existing. virgil. damn. maybe he’s FROM 16th century italy, because that’s a 16th century sounding name. are there any italian legends of fat sucking vampires? can’t say i’m very familiar with their lore
they’re trying to get into his computer and all the files were deleted. ohhh they have floppy disks!!! i love floppy disks 💾
the killer went to ellen’s place?!!?!? and she locks the door. ellen please pull out a glock at this time.
scully sent out a warning to everyone in proximity. and three of them were already missing!!!! that is evil :(
and ellen got the email but he’s in the room. and he starts attacking… oh lord, just as the agents roll up.
they get in formation and then kick down her door and WHEW they way they work as a team… i’m eating it up. sweeping the rooms. guns cocked.
ellen is under some sheets and coated in goop whilst mulder does parkour to go and find this guy. GO GO MULDER RUN RUN!!! his voice is all growly while he holds a shadowy figure at gunpoint, but he only runs into a teenager. no! poor kid :(
NOOO… THE KILLER WAS HIDING IN THE BATHROOM AND SCULLY WAS GOING IN THERE TO GET SOME STUFF TO TAKE CARE OF ELLEN!! he smashed her head in the mirror and he starts to goop her until ellen does in fact roll up with a glock. and shoots him in the chest. YES ELLEN I KNEW YOU HAD IT IN YOU <3
so they have him in custody now and his skin is suuuuuuper dry and peeling and nasty. and scully asks what the hell he was doing and he goes on about stuff blah blah blah and then he quotes some italian and she gets freaked and dips. and we end with a hannibal-esque shot of his evil peeling nasty face. and some contemplative music.
so. that was gross.
grossness established. i once again kind of enjoyed this episode. like was i gagging, and not in the good way? yeah i was. but again with the suspense. i think the plot could be absolutely ridiculous- like an actual fat vampire- and if the plot and pacing are the right tempo, i’ll find myself fully absorbed into it.
but i can’t help but feel that i’m missing something. the italian seemed too purposeful. is there some medieval tale of a fat vampire? i’m being so serious btw like actually. is that a reference that flew over my head? is it in dante’s inferno or something? i love history but middle ages europe always puts me to sleep so i can’t say i’m familiar with the literature or tropes beyond what i learned in art history class. where we never covered ANY sort of vampire. just a lot of baby jesus and also mary and sometimes adult jesus.
hmm. so i’m wondering here what that was about. and yeah, i could google it. but again, more fun when you tell me things.
i mean, if it was something they just made up for fun, i get that too. like earlier we had that evil mermaid baby that lived in the waterways. and we had that evil twin that looked like the fiji mermaid. and eugene tooms the lizard man. the seriousness with which the situation is played enhances the campy angle when you ponder it.
overall, it was interesting to see a world where the internet was new and fresh and scary. now it’s scary in mostly familiar ways. but it was not always this way! and while i am a little confused on the concept of the episode itself- who exactly our monster of the week was, if he even WAS a monster of traditional sort of means- i won’t lie, the episode had me invested. there were also moral questions raised about how someone could do something so evil, specifically in relation to scully’s character, which probably speaks to her biggest fear being that anyone could pose a threat, which i think i’ll contemplate at another time, because it is fascinating, especially when you consider… i think it’s s2 episode 13? where the narrative also really dives into this question. how can people do evil things, and how can good people cope with knowing that it’s impossible to know who is capable of doing terrible things?
after a hard day at work in which a million things went sideways, it does feel nice to watch my pals mulder and scully do some sleuthing, no matter the situation in which they find themselves.
the goopsterrrrrrrr
#well the episode might have been creepy but i wanted to see them tonight so i enjoyed it#i was at work today head in my hands mumbling god let me get through this i need mulder and scully time#you know what i was thinking about at work today? so far i don’t know much about their music taste#and by “much” i mean anything at all#but no spoilers… maybe it’ll be mentioned eventually. i’m keeping an eye out.#when i get further in i am going to find SO many spotify playlists for them#both of songs that relate to their characters/storylines AND songs people think they would like#i intend to let it change my life and i look forward to the experience#anyway. long day. probs another one tomorrow. just glad i had time to post tonight#but tbh i would have carved it out either way because sometimes you NEED to blorbo blog or else#juni's x files liveblog#3x06#the x files#x files#txf
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trick or treat
HAPPY HALLOWEEN ANGEL !!!!! Here is a 5 min sketch of Millie PLUS LITERALLY EVERY DRAWING IVE DONE OF HER…HER WITH ELOISE…BEA…(I have drawn a lot for you😆😆)
#it’s cool to go through all of my art & see how I’ve improved etc#also I’m obsessed with Millie’s hair..I want to steal her…#I might stop these for tonight but I’ll get to the rest tomorrow!!!🫶🫶🫶#(it’s bc I’m going to post the next chapter of my fic tonight and I need to reread it before posting😆)#I also have a new Sebastian painting but I’ve been posting so much today that maybe I’ll save it for tomorrow lol#hogwarts legacy#hogwarts legacy fanart#hphl#hogwarts legacy mc#hogwarts legacy oc
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A Human, Romulan, and a Klingon all on a ship together, all from a different century who got wormholed into the future, who all think they’re the only one from the past trying to navigate the future
They get stopped by a federation ship with a Human captain and the other two turn to the Human for an explanation and they’re just like “oh because I’m a Human, I know all Humans? Those faces and names mean nothing to me” and the captain is like. James T. Kirk.
#I really think later tonight or tomorrow I can go through my notifications and messages#which I’m really excited about because I thought I saw a couple asks in my notification box <3#star trek#scenario that’s probably only funny to me#humans#Romulans#Klingons#james t kirk#jim kirk#james tiberius kirk
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Milfs WANTED!!!
in my bedroom tonight
#continuing to go through kathryn hahns filmography tonight#that’s why I’m being like this#also now that I’m home idk what to gif hmm#rambles
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