#I’m feeling the hand again
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Not well. Not well at all again
#a dog I’ve grown super attached to is dying bc the hospitals are shit. my moms freaking out. I broke again#fucking can’t even stay good for a month#I’m so done. so done#back again. back again.#same little girl who can’t cry without hurting herself#because what did mommy always say?#aren’t allowed to cry unless your bleeding or dying. or she’ll give you a reason to cry#I’m back on the floor of her bedroom#I’m back in my room#im back in the car#I’m back in the living room#I’m back to that school#I’m back to the gym#I’m hearing myself die#I’m feeling like everyone around me is dying#I’m feeling the belt again#I’m feeling the hand again#im feeling the tiredness as I feared to go to bed#I’m feeling the terror of a five year old girl who can’t handle her own brain#I taste the vomit in my mouth again#I taste the blood again#always back. never free. always that girl.#delete later#I’m dying and I still can’t cry#I’m back to it all. I’m always back
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Something about Vegapunk using the dna and blood of a caged and experimented on child to create more caged child experiments and the cycles we perpetuate.
Because what does it mean that all that King has left as proof, that the lunarians were real, that they existed as a tribe, as a people, are seven manufactured children he doesn’t even know about, enslaved as weapons to the government that wiped out the culture they’ll never get to be a part of, and Alber himself another enslaved child lost to something he’ll never fully know.
And what of the warlords? Already young once and hurt by their government, young again and slaves to it. Boa looking at a version of her practically pulled out of time stuck in her worst nightmare or Jimbei looking at a version of himself living out a past he escaped by the skin of his teeth but so many he loved didn’t, even Doffy once again at the mercy of the people that already abandoned him, has Kuma not suffered enough? Given enough, is this child version of him doomed to repeat the same path he already could not escape from . Property of the world government, beholden to the celestial dragons, this version of me that cannot go free?
It’s interesting that Vegapunk joined the government so that he could do the most good, but look at the long line of people right infront of him that he’s hurt with his own hands.
#god I did not mean for it to be this memo dramatic but I have alot of feelings about the seraphim#again I don’t think Vegapunk is a bad man he’s blinded by the greater good tho and his own thirst for knowledge#and while I’m sure that his invention did some good the flower pellets for one does that really erase the bad?#is he responsible or can he be held accountable for the good or the bad#but Vegapunk plays fast and loose with who he sees as humans#the other vegapunks while he acknowledges them as really just extensions of himself he treats them like people#same with stussy who is also a clone#but there is no humanity for the seraphim even tho they seem to feel more than the average pacifsta he treats them strictly as robot weapon#it’s strange and niche how he goes about classifying this in his head maybe it’s the only way he knows to live with it#because if the seraphim where children and he handed them Off to the government to become murderes and weapons of mass destruction#what would that say about him?#one piece#throwing thoughts to the void#dr vegapunk#vegapunk#warlords of the sea#7 warlords#boa hancock#jimbei#bartholomew kuma#donquixote doflamingo#seraphim#seraphim one piece#king one piece#alber one piece#king the wildfire#lunarians#op#one piece meta#one piece analysis
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I don’t KNOW what I want from their dynamic!
I just know it’s INTENSE!
(How are we feeling today, lads? 👀 I’m getting scared of the trailer personally!)
#grey art#fan art#ofmd comic#our flag means death#ofmd fanart#edward teach#stede bonnet#Izzy hands#edizzy?#maybe?#this situation is messy as hell I want more of it!#also#I’m finally starting to like drawing digitally again!#I’m having so many feelings and most of them are about Izzy#but ed is looking real feral these days too so I might switch it up
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✨ I don’t know what this is so don’t ask ✨
#mine#me#I’m blaming this post on the margarita and sangria I had tonight#also not really 100% sure that I’m back to posting stuff again#so don’t make it weird???#just like pretty please don’t make me regret posting these yeah??#I have maybe a handful of photos that I feel really good in and want to share#but I don’t want the bombardment of messages that come with that#so be nice pls
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*slides this across the table* is this anything
(trying to work on my body poses cause I hate drawing anything other than a 3/4 bust but we’re tryinggg)
ref pose under the cut
#my art tag#art#house of ashes#jason kolchek#dark pictures anthology#the dark pictures anthology#dark pictures house of ashes#supermassive games#how are we feeling about this….. I’m trying my hand at digital art again but I’m nervous cause it’s been forever#and I essentially need to relearn ALL OF IT#so anyway have some Jason practice
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Here you go fellow gays enjoy some tranquil scenery with the favorite fruity robot ever. Spend a late night chatting with him on a balcony as the laughter rings out in the air. Can’t quite get any better then this
#uhhhh yea sorry about the lack of talking here—I know it’s not every day I’m left with zero thoughts to elaborate on#but it’s 11:46pm and the right side of my head loves to make me suffer#like I can’t think straight despite being sober. Either it’s sleep deprivation once again or simply a developing migraine#no clue!! and I’m not going to stay awake a second longer to figure that one out!! 🙃#anyways yea kinda lean to the headcannon of Puzzle’s being bisexual#he’s talked about being a ‘damsel magnet’ or whatever and that could read as him being into the feminine qualities#however he’s clearly not conventional in that heteronormativity#he’s just too fruity to ever be contained. you couldn’t slap the strait label on him even if ya tried#it’ll just peel right off like those cheap banana stickers#which can only mean one thing—that man’s gay AND European!!#cue the rest of the musical number#….help I’m going to black out genuinely#I can’t even feel my hands at this point uhhhh#hplonesome art#smg4 mr. puzzles#mr. puzzles smg4
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Ashes to Ashes, Dust to Dust.
#Do you ever think about the fact Ted held the love of his life in his arms while she died?#Do you ever think about the ash covering his hands? The dust stuck inbetween his fingernails? His tears making the ash stain his palms?#Heart in hand - interlocked with all his love between each finger - desperatly trying to not let it fade away?#Thinking about since the Old Testement ashes have been a symbol of repentance and penitence - a token of self-abhorrence and humiliation#Specifically ‘Wherefore I abhor myself and repent in dust and ashes’ (Job 42:6 KJV) and the entire concept of Ash Wednesday#I know that probably wasn’t the langs intention but as a ex-church kid I can’t stop projecting religious imagery into media I like#also is anyone surprised I drew this man with a clock and a halo again? I physically cannot stop myself from doing it#Anyway I’m not sorry for drawing this but I’ll go back to being a silly goofy guy with my fanart and tags….until next time :)#ted spankoffski#theodore spankoffski#JennyBear#Jenny nmt#Jenny starkid#god I feel so evil for tagging Jenny#starkid#starkid fanart#team starkid#starkid productions#time bastard#starkid time bastard#time bastard nightmare time#nightmare time#starkid nightmare time#hatchetfield nightmare time#nmt#hatchetfield#hatchetverse#hatchetfield universe#fanart#my art
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sherliam week 2023 - day 1: time-loop; continuation of this au where they started as friends
thanks to sherliamweek for finally making me draw part 2 of this idea FOUR months later.
#hahahaha some angst and cute to attack ppl on day 1?#blame my hands and sherliam they just take over PFF#guess this is more “parallel timelines” than “time loop”#but I’d like to think some things repeat or feel familiar in other timelines or reincarnations#I’m SO weak for reincarnation or alt timeline stories I’m so glad I got to do it again for this dear ship#sherliam#yuukoku no moriarty#moriarty the patriot#ynm sherlock holmes#liam james moriarty#sherliamweek2023
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I picture when Peppino rants about something he talks with his hands, A LOT
I know Gustavo would listen, he’s letting him ramble to get his temper out, he’ll be fine after a couple minutes-w-
(Based off a post from @/rascal-rose 👀🫶)
#Pizza Tower#Guys I need to draw again it feels like I haven’t in a while 🥲#ALSO THE HANDS ACTUALLY- I’m so proud of them!!#I think moving hands are my fav thing to draw THEY’RE SO FUN 💥💥💥#Peppino#Gustavo#I did this a couple nights ago and I just remembered to post it. Sorry guys 😅#ALSO ALSO help I just clutched a project that’s due tomorrow MY BACK HURTS 😭
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IF MARISHA IS MAKING LAUDNA’S ARC SOME TWISTED PARALLEL OF VAX’S I’M GOING TO THE WOODS AND BECOMING FERAL
Like, that conversation between imogen and laudna could have easily been between Keyleth and Vax towards the end of c1. “Promise me you’ll live.” “I don’t accept this.” They’re having to work with gods they don’t care for. It’s Delilah’s fault. I’m furious.
#please tell me other people see this I feel like I’m losing my mind#on the one hand: yes! vaxleth is the blueprint!#on the other hand: please no I can’t do this again#cr spoilers#critical role#imodna#vaxleth
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i love having a snzfucker girlfriend so much she makes me feel so attractive and special in moments that i’ve normally been made to feel gross and embarrassed and small, like i should be ashamed of things i can’t control.
not only does she treat me with kindness and patience when i’m having a horrible allergy attack and can do nothing but sniffle and sneeze, she makes me feel pretty and worth loving and even sexy and it’s so special and i’m never going to get used to it
#idk i’m just soft#our first night together i was falling asleep while still having a fit#and i had been stifling but i started drifting off and before i realized what was happening i had sneezed fully and really harshly#directly into the palm of her hand (which she had cupped and ready in front of my mouth and nose the second i started hitching)#god it was so embarrassing and i immediately sprang up and apologized over and over#but she just cooed and shushed me and told me that i had nothing to be sorry or embarrassed about#and got me back to sleep#and then the next day when i apologized about it again#because it really was like#a very spray-y sneeze directly into her hand#she told me how much it turned her on and how adorable she thought it was#sorry i’m so soft and a little tipsy and decently sick so#i sm feeling very emotional and i just have so much to say about my gf#god
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Enough dancing around it.
I need a loverboy. One who is insane though. Plans out in excruciating detail all the firsts (firsts dates first kisses first oral fem receiving), loves to gift roses and champagne, says I love you every ten minutes and always means it sincerely and with his whole heart. Takes everything incredibly seriously, cherishes every moment with his lover, would literally kill someone for hurting his little puppy and probably already has.
#SIGH.#once again.#tw yandere#cw yandere#one day I will dismount the yandere horse but for now it Carries me onward#perhaps I will make this boy#call me daddy Frankenstein#I’m just thinking about like#you give him your hand and he lights up like a dog with a treat#like it’s a GIFT#like every moment you spend with him is incredible and important and he loves to gush to you about how much EVERYTHING means to him#like the character concept is Romantic Dialed up to One Hundred#the trade off is when things are going poorly. well. he feels his feelings.#yknow?#Jasper is ALMOST this but like. he’s too willing to be unromantic#he’ll bang in the back of his car and think the sounds the suspension is making is HILARIOUS#this other boy-type…. will still bang in the back of the car but would instead be focusing on how strong the love must be that they can’t#even wait to get to a bed#squawk tag
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all fun and games having an oc hyperfixation and having to make all the content yourself until you lose the ability to make anything lol
#wrist issue has not improved#have a soft diagnosis of bilateral carpal + cubital tunnel and waiting on nerve testing to confirm rn#this semester has been the Tough Love From God semester and i’m kind of over it#if i have to put my comic on hiatus again it may not go well for my brainmeats methinks#vent#i guess#sparks speaks#such a petty complaint in the grand scheme of things but it’s weird to suddenly feel so aimless and purposeless#any time i think things are improving my hand is suddenly too shaky to draw for days
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hey Bestie Con what do you mean by that. what does this mean. I’ve seen that photo with Izzy’s foot all bandaged up with that party lighting is that what’s going on here
#is this about the picture of Izzy with his foot all bandaged up#I feel like I should actually research izzy hands again bc I’m having vague memories of something having happened to his foot#Izzy hands peg leg era#our flag means death#ofmd#ofmd s2#izzy hands
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Am I aware that adderall can’t do its job if I don’t get enough sleep?
Have I utterly failed to make use of this knowledge?
Am I, an entire adult with a wife and a salary, hoping “you wouldn’t want to disappoint HP, would you?” is the thing that finally motivates me to go to bed before two in the morning?
The answers to these questions will probably not surprise you!
#one of the worst parts of adhd#is the way it collapses everything from ‘five minutes in the future’ to ‘five years in the future’ into one The Future#‘the future isn’t real. it can’t hurt me.’ does make it a lot easier to deal with anxiety#but on the other hand#‘if I stop doing [activity] I won’t get to do it again until The Future. which is basically like never being able to do it again.’#‘sure I should be getting ready. but I don’t have to be there until The Future and that’s not for a long time.’#‘I am hungry. but making food takes several minutes which means it’s in the future and unrelated to Present Me.’#I would describe all of these thought patterns as A Problem#and adderall helps but not 24/7 and not if I’m chronically staying up late#which can feel a lot like needing a key that’s locked inside a box in order to open the box’s lock#so here we are. help me make better life choices fictional character. fictional character please motivate me to make healthy choices.#sleepless domain
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Bus au comic gift for @drawbauchery it takes until night-time for Hajime to finally have time to give Teruteru his one hour hand holding time, he fell asleep. Here you are Teruhina fans your fill. :3
#teruteru#teruteru hanamura#hajime hinata#danganronpa#dr bus au#bus au#fanart#Teruhina#Gift for drawbauchery#How could I’d not draw these boys being cute and holding to point I made a mini comic on them.#I hope you don’t mind drawbauchery me drawing an idea scenario of when they holds hands. :>#mini comic#danganropa 2#I’m happy with how it turn out but I also feeling I need to practice on arms >.<‘ and the colouring okay but I need to get better at shadin#God sorry for the rambles my inner art perfectionist is showing again ovo’
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