#this semester has been the Tough Love From God semester and i’m kind of over it

[emberglowfox]

all fun and games having an oc hyperfixation and having to make all the content yourself until you lose the ability to make anything lol

[xomakara]

No One But You

SUMMARY | One drunken night with Xiaojun gave you the most precious thing in the world, your son. Years later, Xiaojun returns from overseas and finally gets to reunite with you and his son. PAIRINGS | Xiaojun/Fem!Reader GENRE | non-idol au, daddy!Xiaojun, smut, unprotected sex, fingering, oral sex, slight angst, fluff RATING | Mature LENGTH | 6,813 words AUTHOR’S NOTE | Originally, this was supposed to be a fantasy with the whole isekai theme. But this idea had been swimming in my mind lately and so here you go. I hope this makes sense and that it flowed okay. I struggled a bit haha. Hope you all like it.

"Just give it some thought," Renjun, your best friend, muttered one day. You were both sitting in your favorite cafe, drinking your lattes and getting on each other's nerves with an annoying amount of frequency. It was a pretty standard Sunday afternoon to be honest - so you had just agreed to meet here.

Nothing special.

"And what do I get for this?" you asked, glancing up from your coffee. Renjun had been pestering you to join him at this new company your friends Mark and Johnny established. They promised it would be very profitable and the pay was good as well. And he was very persistent. Like never ending. He'd been talking about it nonstop since yesterday morning when you woke up.

You rolled your eyes and went back to sipping your coffee. "I mean it's not like I don't want to help them out, but they're not giving me any kind of perks."

"You get to see eye-candy all day long." Renjun snorted. "How is that not a perk? At least this way you can finally find someone who'll satisfy you better than-"

"Don't you dare say his name." You muttered under your breath.

"C'mon Y/N." Renjun patted your hand. "It's been years since you last dated Jungwoo. I’m sure he’s happily married and has kids. Besides, you have a son now, too. Does Xiaojun know?"

Xiaojun...

The father of your son.

You've known Xiaojun since your college days. He was a friend of Renjun, Mark and Johnny and he always tagged along whenever you hung out with them. Back then, he used to flirt shamelessly and his charm would always manage to make you laugh and blush simultaneously. You were in a serious relationship with your ex, Jungwoo, during that time, but that all changed however, when you ended your three year relationship with him. Your relationship just didn't work out. He cheated on you multiple times. You loved him with all your heart, though. But you couldn't be with someone who hurt you constantly. Your heartbreak left you feeling empty and lonely. Your entire world crumbled around you and you felt like nothing could ever go right again.

Your friends were there to help you through your tough times. To cheer you up, Renjun and the others dragged you out to the biggest Neo frat party of the semester, despite your constant protests. Of course, you had fun that night. It was a relief to forget about your troubles for a while. In a drunken stupor and clearly horny, you found Xiaojun dancing nearby. Without thinking twice, you walked over to him and grabbed his hands to sway to the music. And god, he was sexy in those leather pants and tight black shirt. It was hard to resist him and not give into temptation. After a few minutes, you decided to dance closer to him. And God, he smelled so good. Like fresh air, soft lips and spring flowers. That did it. Before you knew it, you were making out with him against the wall.

Things quickly escalated and before you knew it, the rest was history. It was just a one night thing between you two. And you never did date him. He left to study overseas a few weeks later and disappeared off your radar.

When you found out you were pregnant a month after that drunken night with Xiaojun, you were scared and confused. You never imagined that one drunken night with him could have changed your future so drastically. The urge to tell him that you were pregnant was overwhelming. You wanted to reach out to him, talk to him, tell him about the baby, apologize for what happened that night. But you also couldn't deny that your decision that night wasn't completely your own.

You'd been depressed and lonely since your breakup with Jungwoo and Xiaojun provided you with the comfort you needed. Was it wrong of you to use him that way? Or did you deserve something more? If you chose to keep the baby, who would take care of it? Where would you live? Who would be its father?

You had to tell someone and you eventually told Renjun, Mark and Johnny about your pregnancy, revealing that Xiaojun had to be the father since he was the last person you’ve slept with. Your friends reacted predictably: they offered their unconditional support and told you that you were strong enough to raise the child on your own. They were your best friends and they wanted to be the best uncles they could be to your son.

But even after that fateful night, you continued to think about what could have been if he had stayed. If you had found out you were pregnant if you were together.

You shook your head. "No, he still doesn't know about our son."

Renjun sighed. "You know he's back in town. He’s been asking me about you too. Its just a matter of time before Xiaojun talks to our friends and finds out he has a son. You should tell him before that happens."

"I know but I can't just tell him I got pregnant after one drunken night together. There are too many details involved."

Renjun ran his fingers through his hair. He sighed and leaned forward, placing his elbows on the table. "What are you going to do, Y/N?"

"That's the problem. I don't know what to do." You mumbled. "I don't want him to resent me or hate me. I want him to love my son and accept him. That's all I ask for."

"Then just tell him. I'm sure he won't mind if you told him the truth."

"But what if he does?" You replied, looking down at your cup. "Wouldn't that complicate things? Especially since we have a child together. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if he blamed me for ruining his life or something. I wouldn't be able to look at him or be near him anymore."

Renjun shrugged. "Who says he will blame you? You guys are adults, after all. Plus, we’re not children anymore. Our lives are different. It's not the same as back then. I think you're just being paranoid."

"Am I?" You looked up, frowning. "Do you really believe I am?"

He shook his head, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Not really, no. I know you, Y/N. You're more forgiving than most people. But sometimes, people need to face the consequences of their actions. And even if they don't, there are plenty of other fish in the sea. It's not like your son needs a man around to protect him."

Renjun waved away your concern. "So don't let your feelings towards him ruin your happiness. You deserve to be happy, Y/N. So tell him about your son."

“I’m home!” You called out as you stepped into your apartment.

You heard the pitter patter of small feet and a small figure ran out of the bedroom before launching unto you. “Mommy! Mommy!”

You cooed as you picked your son up in your arms. He wrapped his arms tightly around your neck and buried his face into your chest. "Hi Dongjun, my beautiful angel. Did you miss me?"

"Of course!" He squealed excitedly. "I missed you, mommy."

“You’re so silly.” You giggled as you planted a kiss on top of his head. “You don’t need to miss me because you’re going to see me every day. Right?"

Dongjun giggled excitedly and nodded his head. "Right mommy!"

"Good." You hugged him tightly. "Because I missed you too."

The two of you walked slowly down the hallway. Dongjun held onto your hand and grinned widely as he talked about his random adventures with Uncle Jisung, your younger brother. When you asked where Uncle Jisung was, your son pointed at your brother's room stating that 'Uncle Jisung is studying'.

“Hey Mommy, wanna watch a movie with me?” Dongjun asked, tugging at your shirt sleeve.

“Okay honey, but first, can I change into comfy clothes?” You questioned, pointing towards your bedroom.

“Mm hmm.” Dongjun nodded enthusiastically as he plopped on the couch and proceeded to watch TV.

After changing into sweats and a loose t-shirt, you settled down next to your son. You placed your hand on his head and smiled as you stroked his hair gently. It was nice being able to spend quality time with your son. Dongjun was so happy when he was with you. He loved watching movies and playing games with you. You could already tell that he was smart, mature and creative. If only you could turn back time, things would be different.

You wondered how life would have been if you told Xiaojun about Dongjun. Or how it would be if you got together with him. But looking at your son, you knew that whatever happened, you made the right choice. No matter what choices you made in the past, your son will always be yours.

“Alright, time for bed. Let’s snuggle.” You told your son as you pulled him close to your body.

“Yes!” Dongjun grinned happily.

You leaned over to kiss him on the forehead and you smiled as you closed your eyes. At least one good thing came out of that drunken night, you thought.

"Mommy?" Dongjun suddenly asked as he poked you in the arm.

"Hmm?" You opened your eyes and glanced at your son. "What is it honey?"

"Did you love daddy when you first met him?"

“Hmmm…now that’s a tough question to ask me, squirt.” You pinched his cheek. “How should I answer it?”

“I think you loved Daddy.” Dongjun said confidently. “Because if you didn’t love Daddy, then I wouldn’t be here today. So you must have loved Daddy when you first met him.”

You smiled as tears welled up in your eyes. Dongjun was such a sweet boy.

"Sweetie, you are the most important person in my life. And no matter what happens, I will always love you." You hugged him tightly. "I am very lucky to have a child like you."

"Aw, Mommy. Thank you." Dongjun wiped away the tear from your eye. "Now let's go to sleep, okay?"

"Yes." You nodded. "Night-night, Sweetie."

Dongjun yawned as he curled up in your lap. You kissed his forehead again and whispered good night in his ear. Then you watched as he drifted off to sleep.

You didn't expect that your life would turn out like this. You had always dreamt of finding true love and getting married someday. But fate decided otherwise. Now you were living alone, raising your son singlehandedly. A part of you wished that things could have been different. Maybe your son would grow up knowing his father. Maybe you could've dated Xiaojun or find another man to share your life with.

But all those questions went unanswered as you drifted off to sleep.

There was nothing you could do about it. The past is the past. And there was no point dwelling on it anymore. Your son was the only light in your life. Without him, you would have been lost in despair and misery. You may not have found love, but you learned to accept what fate gave you.

Everything else was secondary.

God damn, he's still handsome.

You couldn't help but bite your bottom lip as you watched Xiaojun put in his order with the waiter. Even after all these years, you still found him attractive. And he noticed you noticing him. His smile widened and he leaned towards you slightly. You held your breath as you smiled politely.

There was no denying that you felt some attraction to him back in your college days. If you weren’t dating Jungwoo back then, you would have jumped on the chance to get with Xiaojun.

But you never acted on those thoughts. There was no reason to start a relationship with him when Jungwoo was willing to be by your side. But that was before there were problems in the relationship. Before you broke up with Jungwoo. Before you found yourself alone.

Back then, everything was perfect. You were the happiest girl alive. Everything seemed so easy. You spent all your time doing fun stuff with your friends and boyfriend. As long as you were with them, you couldn't imagine a life without them.

It was an exciting time in your life. You were young, carefree and optimistic. Life seemed limitless. You had so much hope and dreams. What would you do now that all those hopes and dreams have faded away?

All that was left was regret and pain.

And now here you were, years later, sitting across from him as he gave you a sweet smile. That smile was one thing that always got to you. Especially after all this time. You tried to act natural, but the truth was you felt like you were caught in your own private show. And you weren't the only one noticing him. There were quite a few women gawking and flirting with him, although he seemed to not notice.

Xiaojun stared at you intently for a few moments before speaking. "So how are you doing, Y/N?"

"Eh, good, thanks." You shrugged. "How are you?"

"Glad to be back home." He said, smiling broadly. “I really missed Korean and Chinese food here."

You gave him a small smile. "It’s good to see that you were doing good overseas though."

"It was tough but it was worth all the experiences." Xiaojun grinned.

“I bet.” You nodded, trying not to look at his mouth. Jesus Christ, he still looked edible. You were tempted to lean forward and kiss him, but you managed to hold yourself back. "So Renjun mentioned that you've been asking about me. What's that all about, huh?"

Xiaojun blushed as he fidgeted in his seat. "Uh, well…" He paused. “I guess I just miss hanging out with you and the others."

"Life has gotten in the way, that's all." You sighed. "But I promise I'll try to spend more time with you now that you’re back home."

"Really?" Xiaojun raised an eyebrow. "Like, on a regular basis?"

"Maybe." You grinned sheepishly. "Or maybe not. Depends if you keep bugging me like Renjun always does. I wonder why I'm still friends with him..."

“Ha ha, you wouldn't trade him for the world.” Xiaojun replied with a laugh.

"True that.” You chuckled. “He’s my best friend after all.”

A small silence followed. Both of you simply stared at each other awkwardly. Finally, Xiaojun broke the silence. "Listen…I'm sorry about what happened in college. I never meant to hurt you. You're one of my closest friends and I don't want anything to ruin that."

"You never hurt me, Xiaojun." You shook your head, a faint smile on your lips. "I was heartbroken when Jungwoo dumped me and I needed a distraction from the pain. We were both drunk and horny at that frat party. I don't regret that one night with you. I don't blame you for it. None of it was your fault."

"You're a good person, Y/N." Xiaojun muttered quietly.

"Thanks." You replied sincerely. "Sometimes I feel guilty for using you to distract myself. And even after all this time, I can't bring myself to look at you without thinking about Jungwoo. It's a stupid reason, huh?"

"No, it's understandable." Xiaojun smiled gently. "People need distractions sometimes. Plus, that one night turned out to be pretty good for you. You enjoyed yourself, found comfort in someone's arms, and felt loved. It helped you get over your broken heart. Even if it was just for one night."

"Yeah. And thank you for that, by the way." You smiled softly. "For taking care of me that night. For listening to me cry about my ex."

"Don't mention it." Xiaojun said as he waved away the compliment. "You were hurting and I cared about you. You needed some comfort and I wanted to provide that for you."

"That makes me feel better." You laughed. You sucked in a deep breath. “Xiaojun, can I tell you something?”

"Of course." Xiaojun assured you.

You hesitated for a moment. It had been years since you talked to Xiaojun but you hoped that he would understand where you were coming from. After a few minutes, you decided to continue.

"It’s hard for me to say this but…” You took a deep breath. “Xiaojun, you’re a dad…”

“Wait, what?” Xiaojun gasped.

“We have a son,” You answered quickly. “His name is Dongjun.”

Xiaojun blinked several times. “Are you sure he’s mine?”

"You were the last person I had sex with before I found out I was pregnant." You nodded your head and pulled out your phone, scrolling through the pictures of Dongjun. “He looks exactly like you. Just look at the pictures.”

Xiaojun stared down at the photo of Dongjun on his phone. He took in the picture and blinked slowly. His expression softened as he looked back at you.

“Our son…” He murmured quietly. “Wow.”

“I know you might be mad or disappointed that I didn’t tell you but…” You paused. “I wasn’t ready to face you after I found out I was pregnant. I didn’t want you to feel obligated to come back to Korea and take care of me and the baby because we had that one night together.”

Xiaojun shook his head, a small smile on his face. "Y/N, don't worry about that. I know our relationship is complicated but there is no way I would ever resent you or the baby. In fact, I feel happy to hear that you're raising our son well."

“I’m glad you think that.” You smiled. “I never really talked about you. When Dongjun asks where you are, I just tell him that you had to work somewhere far away. How do you tell a four year old that his mom and dad aren’t even a couple? How do you tell him that his mom and dad were drunk and horny one night and that’s how he was conceived? Telling him that you worked far away was the best option.”

“Yeah, I guess that’s true.” Xiaojun sighed. “Can I meet him? Please, Y/N? I would love to meet my son.”

“Of course, I’d like you to meet him.” You agreed, nodding. “And knowing Dongjun, he already loves you very much.”

“I already love him too, you know?” Xiaojun gave a slight laugh. “I wish I had met him earlier. Things would have been different between us. I wouldn’t have gone overseas. I would have stayed and we could have explored if there was truly a connection between us.”

“Maybe things wouldn’t have changed that much.” You reminded him. “Even if you did stay, we were really never together. Not after that one night. All we did was sleep together. There was nothing more than sex going on. You flirted with me, sure. And I needed comfort from a broken heart. So there was nothing binding us together.“

“Yes, there was.” Xiaojun argued. “The first moment I met you, that first time you smiled so sweetly at me when Renjun introduced us, I knew I liked you right away. It’s like I could see you clearly for the first time. The way you walked, your attitude, your body language, everything was so perfect. But you were with Jungwoo at the time. I didn’t want to ruin your relationship with him, so I just tried to hang out with you whenever possible.”

He sighed, looking at you softly. “After you broke up with Jungwoo, I realized that I was in love with you. That one drunk night at the frat party made me realize how I felt about you. And I never stopped loving you since then.”

“But why didn’t you tell me?” You asked, suddenly feeling sad.

“I didn’t want you to rush anything. You were healing from a broken heart and I didn’t want to add more problems to your life. I just knew that you needed love and comfort even if it was for one night.” Xiaojun explained. “And I didn’t want to scare you off by telling you how I felt.”

“I understand.” You whispered sadly. “But you should have told me sooner. Maybe I felt the same way.”

“Well, I’m telling you now.” Xiaojun said, giving you a reassuring smile. “Did you ever felt anything for me? Like, was there any chance that you could have fallen in love with me?”

“Yeah.” You nodded. “If I wasn’t dating Jungwoo back then, I probably would have started to develop feelings for you too. Maybe even developed them into something more.”

“I’m glad you said that.” Xiaojun breathed out a sigh of relief.

“Xiaojun, now that you’re back for good…” You paused. “Do you think that we could give this another shot? Maybe see where things really go between us? If you just want to be friends or just in Dongjun’s life, then it’s fine with me. But I just thought…”

“I want that too.” Xiaojun cut you off. “I want to see where this goes. With you, and Dongjun. I can be the father that Dongjun deserves and I will make sure to devote myself fully to my son and to you.”

“Okay.” You agreed. You stood up and grabbed his hand. “Come. Let’s go see our son.”

It took you but minutes by car to reach your apartment. You reached your door and unlocked it, calling out, “Dongjun! I’m home!”

Dongjun ran out of his room with a huge smile on his face. As soon as he spotted you, he jumped into your arms and gave you a big hug.

“Mommy! Mommy! I missed you!” He exclaimed happily.

“I missed you too, baby. Where’s Uncle Jisung?” You questioned, wondering where your younger brother was.

“Uncle Jisung is watching TV.” Dongjun suddenly noticed Xiaojun by the door. “Mommy, who’s that?”

You and Xiaojun exchanged looks. He opened his mouth to speak, but stopped himself.

"Well… Let's introduce ourselves, shall we?" You offered nervously.

Dongjun looked between you and Xiaojun curiously, wondering what was going on.

“He looks exactly like me.” Xiaojun muttered. “I can’t believe we made such a beautiful child.”

“Dongjun, this is your daddy.” You introduced the two of them.

“Daddy!” Dongjun squealed excitedly, jumping off your lap and running towards Xiaojun. Xiaojun hesitated for a second, still unsure whether he should accept Dongjun’s warm embrace. But after a brief hesitation, he leaned down to hug Dongjun with a big smile.

“Hi Dongjun. I’m your dad.” Xiaojun said softly.

“Dad! Dad! DAD!” Dongjun exclaimed loudly, unable to contain his excitement. He wrapped his tiny arms around Xiaojun’s neck, hugging him tightly.

"Oohh." Xiaojun gasped, surprised by Dongjun’s reaction. His body went rigid and he clutched onto Dongjun even tighter.

"Is everything alright?" You wondered, noticing the tension in the air.

"Uh… Yeah, it's fine." Xiaojun laughed. "Just caught me off guard, that's all. He’s just so energetic."

You nodded, chuckling. “Don’t worry, Xiaojun. You’ll get used to it.”

“I love him already.” Xiaojun breathed out. “This is the happiest day of my life.”

You smiled widely. You couldn’t help but tear up at the sight of Xiaojun being so affectionate with Dongjun. This must have meant so much to him.

"We're both so happy that you're here, daddy!" Dongjun exclaimed, planting kisses on Xiaojun's cheeks.

"Thank you for welcoming me, Dongjun." Xiaojun replied gently.

Dongjun giggled and wrapped his arms around Xiaojun's neck once again. Xiaojun laughed at Dongjun's enthusiasm. You grinned and looked at each other, sharing a small laugh.

“This is going to work out really well.”

It had been a few months since Xiaojun had moved into your apartment. Your brother Jisung had moved out and said that he and his friend, Chenle, found an apartment to share. You knew that Jisung didn't want to get involved in the love fest between you and Xiaojun.

Yours and Xiaojun’s relationship slowly began to blossom and develop into something more. It started with a few sweet kisses here and there. Soon enough, they became an everyday occurrence. At first, you were nervous and embarrassed. You wanted to wait until Dongjun grew older before letting him catch you kissing his father. However, you soon realized that letting Xiaojun seduce you was the most exciting thing you had experienced in a long time. And not only that, but seeing Dongjun's excitement while witnessing these intimate moments between you and Xiaojun, well…

It was adorable.

At some point, you started falling for Xiaojun. Hard. Your heart raced every time you saw him and every kiss sent shivers through your entire body. Soon enough, the longing to be with him outweighed everything else in your life. You knew that Dongjun loved Xiaojun as well, which helped ease your worries.

One night, the three of you were watching a movie when Dongjun asked you and Xiaojun a question.

“Mommy, Daddy, can I ask you a question?”

You looked over at Dongjun and he was eagerly awaiting your answer.

“Sure, honey. What is it?” You asked.

“Where do babies come from?” He inquired.

You and Xiaojun looked at each other, smiling awkwardly. After a few seconds of silence, you decided to take control of the situation.

“Honey, babies are actually made when mommies and daddies love each other very much.” You told him.

“Ohhh…” Dongjun stared at you and Xiaojun intently. “Then does mommy and daddy love each other very much?”

Xiaojun turned to look at you with a wide grin on his face. “Why yes, my little prince. We do.”

Dongjun beamed at the sight of Xiaojun's prideful expression. Then he looked at you and smiled.

“Does that mean I can have a baby brother or sister?” He asked, nodding vigorously.

You and Xiaojun exchanged looks again, smiling at each other silently. Finally, you pulled Dongjun into a tight hug.

“Of course, honey. One day, I hope that you'll have lots of siblings.” You whispered softly.

“Mmm. I'd like that.” Dongjun murmured, snuggling closer to you. "I love you, mommy. I love you, daddy."

You squeezed him tightly. “I love you, sweetie. So much.”

Dongjun eventually fell asleep in your arms. You glanced over at Xiaojun who was sitting next to you on the couch, playing with Dongjun's hair idly.

“Xiaojun?” You called out softly.

“Hmm?” He responded, continuing to play with Dongjun's hair.

“I've always wanted to tell you this.” You admitted, reaching over to squeeze his hand. “I love you.”

His eyes widened at the sudden confession. A few seconds passed before he spoke.

“I love you too.” He whispered, leaning forward and pressing a soft kiss against your lips.

Your heart fluttered at the sensation of his warm lips on yours. You felt yourself become flush as you pressed against him.

The moment was broken when Dongjun yawned, causing you to let go of Xiaojun's hands. You watched as he gathered his sleeping son into his arms. The two of them quietly made their way upstairs, leaving you alone downstairs.

Your cheeks were flushed red and your mind was filled with images of Xiaojun making passionate love to you on the sofa. Even though it was completely innocent, you found yourself feeling extremely aroused. You wondered if Xiaojun was feeling the same way.

After tucking in Dongjun, Xiaojun returned to the living room. He sat down beside you and looked at you lovingly. “I love you, Y/N. I want no one but you.”

“Who would have imagine one drunken night would lead to us being together again.” You sighed.

“That night changed everything for us.” Xiaojun agreed. “Our lives haven't been the same ever since.”

“I know.” You sighed, leaning against Xiaojun's chest. “If it weren't for that night, I wouldn't have had Dongjun or met you again.”

Xiaojun nuzzled his nose against your forehead. “Neither of us could have predicted how fate would bring us back together. And I am so grateful that it did.”

Your hands caressed his cheek. “I don't regret a single second we spent apart. I think our time apart made us realize how much we needed each other. Without you, Dongjun would never have existed.”

Xiaojun cupped your face in his hands and leaned in to press a tender kiss against your lips.

“Let's enjoy every minute we have together, okay?” He suggested.

You melted into his touch. Every kiss, every touch felt so right. For the first time in your life, you truly felt like everything was coming together perfectly.

"Yes, Xiaojun." You agreed, nipping his bottom lip playfully. "Should we give our little one a sibling?“

He grinned. “Definitely.”

“Have fun and don’t come back pregnant!” Renjun called out, Johnny laughing next to him.

“Dongjun, be good for the uncles!” Xiaojun called out, Dongjun excitedly chasing Mark.

“Yay! Sleepover with Uncles Renjun, Mark and Johnny!!” Dongjun shouted happily, throwing his arms in the air.

Renjun grabbed hold of him, swinging him around in a circle. “Yeah! We’re gonna have so much fun!”

You and Xiaojun exchanged hugs with Dongjun before getting into the car and driving back home. Both you and Xiaojun thought it would be good idea to have the guys take your son for the weekend so that you both can spend some time together alone.

Xiaojun held your hand as he was driving. His thumb gently stroked your fingers, sending goosebumps across your skin. Your mind drifted to thoughts of what would happen later tonight.

The only time you had sex with Xiaojun was that one drunken night all those years ago. Since you’ve officially gotten together, you’ve slept in the same bed but you’ve never touched each other intimately. You didn’t want Dongjun to catch the two of you if you were being sexual in any way shape or form.

But tonight was different.

Tonight you planned to surrender yourself to Xiaojun completely. This time you wanted to remember everything that happened and now that you’re together, it would be easy for you to recall all of the feelings and sensations.

As soon as you walked into your apartment, Xiaojun pulled you close and kissed you passionately. You groaned at the taste of his mouth on yours. His strong arms enveloped your waist, holding you firmly against his body. You slid your hands up his muscular arms and ran them through his hair. You savored the sensation of his scalp under your fingertips. His dark locks glistened with drops of sweat as he released his lips from yours and looked deep into your eyes.

“Do you want me?” He asked breathlessly.

“Always.” You breathed, closing the gap between your lips once again.

Xiaojun growled deeply as he pulled you closer to him, deepening the kiss. He moaned as your tongue met his and instinctively he slipped his hand under your shirt. You gasped as he traced the edge of your bra, your nipples hardening instantly.

"I need you. Right now." He breathed heavily.

Your breathing matched his pace. You peeled off your shirt and unhooked your bra, allowing it to slide off your shoulders and drop to the floor. Xiaojun smiled widely as he looked down at your naked breasts.

"God, I forgot how great they looked." He remarked, licking his lips hungrily.

He reached down and took your hands, pulling you closer to him. You stood before him, waiting patiently for him to make the first move. Suddenly, his mouth was on your left breast, sucking strongly on the nipple. Your hands immediately clutched his head, encouraging him to continue. You couldn’t help but moan loudly.

"You know..." He murmured between licks and kisses. "I've always wanted a repeat of that night. To feel your naked skin against mine... to kiss your body... to feel you come for me."

"Me too..." You gasped. "At least this time we're sober."

He laughed as he brought his lips back to your right breast, sucking and nibbling lightly. Your hands continued to run through his hair. You closed your eyes as his warm breath tickled your skin. When his hand finally reached your shorts, you grabbed his hand only to help him pull your pants off. Xiaojun slid his fingers underneath your panties and into your wet folds. You trembled as he played with your clit.

"God, you're so fucking wet." He muttered, chuckling. "And so ready for me."

He pulled away momentarily, to pull his shirt off. He slipped his fingers inside of you as you undid his belt buckle and zipper. Soon enough, his cock was freed from his pants and you wrapped it with your hand. As soon as you started stroking him, his hips bucked upwards.

"Fuck!" He grunted, removing his fingers from you and sliding your underwear down your legs and throwing them to the side.

His eyes met yours as he bent his head down and captured your mouth in a kiss. You moaned as his tongue found its way inside your mouth. You were still stroking his length as he pushed you towards the sofa.

You sat down, running your hand over his muscular chest. You looked at him with lust filled eyes. "Xiaojun..."

"Yeah baby?" He asked, brushing your hair behind your ear.

"Can I... suck you off?" You requested, leaning forwards.

"Oh god." He breathed. "Are you sure?"

You nodded your head.

"Y/N..." He groaned as you wrapped your lips around the tip of his dick.

You hummed as you sucked, using your tongue to flick it quickly across the tip of his shaft. Xiaojun slowly stroked your hair as he watched you work his cock with your mouth. His own eyes were half-closed as he basked in the pleasure.

You took more of him into your mouth, moving your head up and down slowly. You could hear him moaning in pleasure as you moved your mouth faster and faster. He gripped the back of your head, keeping you firmly in place. You could feel his member throbbing as you took him deeper and deeper.

You began to increase your speed, taking more of him into your mouth at a rapid pace. Xiaojun grunted as he reached his limit, jerking his hips violently. You kept going until he was completely spent, spurting his hot cum onto your tongue.

You swallowed his seed greedily, wanting to taste every last drop of it. After cleaning his cock with your tongue, you withdrew your lips from his member and rested your head on his thigh. You turned your head to look at him, a small smile gracing your lips.

"Good job, baby." He praised, running his hands through your hair. "You're amazing. But I'm not done yet."

He kneeled in front of you, placing his hands on either side of your head and leaned in to kiss you passionately. Your tongues tangled in a heated embrace as you moaned into each other’s mouths. Xiaojun began to stroke your inner thighs, eliciting a loud gasp from you.

"Xiaojun...please...inside me..." You whimpered, unable to hide your desire.

"Not yet." He whispered huskily. "You've been so good for me already. I don't want to stop just yet."

Xiaojun knelt in front of you, kneeling on the floor. He pulled your legs apart, admiring the view. Your pussy was swollen and wet, calling out to him. He bent down and kissed your inner thigh softly, his breath tickling your skin. You shivered uncontrollably. Xiaojun raised his eyes to meet yours.

"Open your legs wider." He commanded, gently pushing your knees further apart.

"Mmm..." You moaned. "Yes, Xiaojun..."

You were lost in ecstasy as he placed soft kisses on your inner thighs, one by one. You could feel his fingers spreading your moist lips apart, exposing your swollen pink flesh to his gaze. He lowered his head to lick your slit delicately. You could feel your juices beginning to drip down your thighs. Xiaojun lifted his head to stare at your flushed cheeks, grinning widely.

"Your body is perfect." He remarked, tracing the outline of your lips with his index finger.

With one swift motion, he plunged his finger inside of you, making you cry out. He moved his hand slowly, circling your g-spot while also stimulating your clitoris with his thumb. The combination of pleasure overwhelmed you and soon you were clawing at the sofa cushion in an attempt to grab onto something.

"Xiaojun, please...oh my god!" You cried, unable to contain yourself.

"Do you want me to fuck you?" He asked softly, trailing his tongue along your inner thigh.

You nodded vigorously, unable to find words.

"Say it, baby." He urged.

"Please... fuck me." You begged, panting heavily.

Xiaojun got up off the ground and looked at you. You had the cutest blush on your face as you gazed up at him. He cupped your cheek, smiling brightly at you. "Come here."

He walked towards the bedroom, dragging you behind him. Once he got there, he sat on the bed, grabbing your hand and pulling you on top of him.

"Y/N, I love you." He said, brushing your hair out of your eyes. "No matter what happens, no matter where we go, no matter what our life has become... I will always love you. Please believe that."

He looked deep into your eyes, watching as tears began to stream down your face. "I love you too." You choked, tears falling freely.

His eyes softened and he wiped your tears away with his thumbs. "Let's get married. Let's give Dongjun brothers and sisters to play with."

You closed the gap between you and planted a tender kiss on his lips. You felt his erection growing beneath you and slowly maneuvered yourself to sit atop him. His fingers wrapped around your waist as you settled yourself comfortably on top of him. Xiaojun caressed your face with his hands.

"I can't wait to make you my wife." He whispered, looking into your eyes.

He slid one of his hands down to grip your ass, lifting you slightly. You sighed as he pressed himself against you. The tip of his cock nudged against your opening, getting you excited once again. Xiaojun groaned, pressing forward slightly. You threw your head back and forth as you felt his member slip inside of you. Xiaojun leaned down and pulled your lower lip into his mouth, sucking gently on it. You moaned as you felt the fullness inside of you.

"God... Xiaojun, that feels so good." You panted.

He lowered you down and continued to thrust upwards, hitting that sweet spot every single time. His hands held tightly onto your butt as he pulled you harder and harder onto him. Your cries of pleasure echoed throughout the room.

"Oh shit... Y/N... baby, I'm gonna-" He started, but you cut him off with a kiss.

"Xiaojun...not yet..." You mumbled against his lips. "I don't want it to end just yet."

Xiaojun chuckled softly and kissed you deeply. You ran your hands through his hair as you pressed against him. He continued to thrust rhythmically into you, his balls slapping against your ass. You could feel your orgasm approaching rapidly and you moaned loudly.

"Cum for me, baby." Xiaojun ordered.

You dug your nails into his back as he picked up his pace. Xiaojun knew exactly when to slow down or intensify his movements. Every time he touched you in the most intimate of places, it sent chills all throughout your body. Your hands clenched the sheets beneath you, nails scratching against the material. You bit your lip hard as Xiaojun fucked you harder than ever before.

"Baby, I'm gonna..." Xiaojun warned. "Fucking... shoot my load inside of you."

"Fuck, Xiaojun...please!" You cried, grasping at his back. "Cum in me!"

"Ahhh fuck... Y/N!" Xiaojun cried out, losing control. He pulled your hips back to meet his strokes, burying his entire shaft inside of you. You screamed out in pure ecstasy as he filled you with his cum. His cock pulsated inside of you as he came, coating your insides with his warm fluids. Xiaojun fell limply onto the bed beside you, both of you panting heavily. You rolled over to face him, gasping for air. He grinned at you as you traced your fingertips along his jawline.

"That was incredible." You declared, giving him a passionate kiss.

Xiaojun pulled you closer to him and wrapped his arms around your body. You snuggled close to him as you let out a content sigh.

"So what do you say?" Xiaojun whispered into your ear. "Would you like to be my wife?"

"Yes." You whispered back, giggling. "Of course. I want no one but you and Dongjun. Only us. Always."

[mskimkaty]

Quit | J.JH

Angst, Smut, fluff (little bit on the end)

Synopsis: You might think that some people who did you bad have little impact in your life, tip toeing from situations that you knew could repeat the same mistakes but there will always be that one person who will destroy all your resolve and you’ll find yourself fucking your rules for them.

Word Count: 7.1k

A/N: love u all. pls enjoy! (not really proof read)

Edit: uhmmm pls don’t judge me but this is actually my bf and my story of how we met to how we become couples. Alright. Enjoy!!!!

You hated how you didn’t take “searching for college schools” seriously, and now, you’re all but stuck for the rest of your college years in the same school you graduated from High school. You know it’s a good school, having to be in the top 7 elite schools all over the country that has an institution that offers all levels of education— but you honestly don’t care about that right now. You wished you didn’t choose the easy road in finding a good college because now you’re stuck with a university that has zero-base for their grading system, 75 marks as their passing grade, and put their students with fully loaded units— having up to 30 units per semester. How Asian can it get?

 Fourth-year high school wasn’t your year, when a particular boy, Jeon Jungkook broke your heart. He was a close friend first before he became someone more than that, you told yourself not to be involved with the likes of him in any way, you first meet during your junior year by a mutual friend—Joy, your best friend, was in the same class as him, thus, the reason the both of you became close.

 Joy warned you about him and you knew because that’s what you told her base on your first impression on Jungkook, but you still tested the waters. And that’s how you broke your heart for the first time, you let yourself trust him despite all the bad things that you heard about him, you ignore everything because you were happy around him, but you were tired of having a relationship without a label and the fact that he doesn’t want you to be seen together speaks so much. You went on a retreat for 3 days in your senior year as it was a requirement for every graduating students by your catholic school, you weren’t going steady per se, but you still talked nonetheless, as he was getting busy with basketball, and you, having the cheerleading competition around the corner, training, exams, and graduation. You both have so much on your own plates.

 You kept on seeing red flags— the way he’s not responding to your calls and messages for a week, you haven’t really seen him around the school as varsity players have their own retreat, and when you saw a photo posted in his Instagram account with a girl in your year. She was a transferee, that’s all you remember after receiving a text message of him saying sorry. You hated how forgiving you can be, you hoped you can be tough and talk back to him— but no, you never had the chance to say what you wanted to say to him. You just let everything go. You can’t even ask someone to comfort you because of the fact you were a secret. You didn’t even know why you agreed with that kind of set up in the first place. Why did you choose something temporarily for a piece of mind? You hated how easy you can get sometimes, but you closed that chapter in your life after cursing him for months in your head and some Friday night parties until you graduated High school.

 And now, you’re in your second year of college and very much single. You received a message from Seulgi, saying that she needs to cancel your plans from eating out because of a midterm exam that got rescheduled she was your best friend together with Joy, Irene, and Wendy since high school but college happened and the five of you went with different schools except for Wendy and Seulgi who enrolled at the same University. You have a heavy sigh, it’s not that you don’t have friends in your own department, you do. It’s just that all your girlfriends have classes and won’t be done until 3 in the afternoon— and you’re very much hungry.

 You saw a very familiar face exiting the lesson hall next to yours and you’re quick on your feet to hide behind the walls of your classroom.

 “Y/n, I’ve already seen you, you know.” Suh Johnny stands beside you with Ten beside him smiling at you, you three both did your handshakes after getting drag out of the room. “Have you eaten already?” Ten asks and you shook your head. Johnny put his arms around your shoulders and the three of you walked out of the campus to eat out.

 “Oppa, what’s that?” you asked Ten preferring to his phone when you all settled down while Johnny browses the menu on what to order. “Jaehyun asked if he can join.” He says to the both of you, you look at Johnny as you both shrugs. Jung Jaehyun was once an IT student, he shifted after a year into your department and incredibly smart in mathematics. He was instantly everyone’s friend in your year.

 “I’m cool with him,” Johnny says and they both look at you. You’re not really fond of everybody and not entirely friendly with everyone. You’ve been close with Johnny and Ten who were much older than you only because you knew them since High school. “It’s cool.” You muttered.

 “But you wouldn’t be comfortable around other people, though.” Ten commented. They were completely aware of your introverted ass. They know what happened to you during your fourth-year high school, not only with Jeon Jungkook but the fact that all of your female classmates during your senior year made you an outcast. You honestly find it funny now, since you know that you have four amazing friends who stuck with you through thick and thin. You wished you had taken up the opportunity when Seulgi asked you to join her for hunting college schools before graduating High school so that you can be with her throughout your college years, but what’s done is done, what happened to you in the past brought you here right now and made you who you are. It wasn’t a problem for you— you like having the quality over quantity. You like how your circle of friends isn’t that big, too many people in your life can cost you too much trouble in the end, you know that because you’ve already experienced it first hand, having many people in your life will only lead you to disappointments.

 You weren’t familiar with Jung Jaehyun, per se, you just had a class with him during the second semester of your first year of college, that one professor you disliked so much teaching algebra instead of business mathematics and had the audacity to fail you. You hated how you got a failed mark while Jaehyun passed the subject despite his absences, you acknowledge him for having a big brain when it comes to numbers but you still find it unfair how he passed and you failed, you wished you could be as smart as him. You first met him when Mark introduced you to him after your Psychology class, you were talking with Mark about your Final output for the subject when he came up to Mark— fist-bumping, while wearing a white hoodie and black jeans, had those big Nike bags that you knew Basketball players uses, his white sneakers clean and you look at yours— completely worn out and definitely needed a new pair.

 He was smiling at you, eyeing Mark while waiting to be introduced to you. That got you rolling your eyes at him unknowingly, making him slightly intimidated with you. You shot Jaehyun a fake smile— he was cute, charming, tall, and obviously another varsity player. God, your skin starts to crawl, another varsity player is being too friendly with you. You bid Mark goodbye, and that was the start of your acquaintances with Jung Jaehyun, he was everywhere, becoming the Mr. Congeniality of your Department in no time when he shifted after a year in Information Technology.

 The three of you waited for Jaehyun to arrive before ordering your lunch, you waited for another minute before the door opened and Jaehyun walked in wearing a black long tee and denim jeans paired with his clean white sneakers. He settled down beside Ten who was in front of you and you started to become uncomfortable. Johnny and Jaehyun decided to get your orders and you were left with Ten in your booth.

 “Y/N, Jaehyun’s a good guy, you already know him for half a year, why are you still uncomfortable around him?” Ten asks you as you heave a heavy sigh. It’s not that you're uncomfortable around him because of your trust issues, you’re uncomfortable because clearly, he’s your type, and you’re not comfortable with the idea of it, you know he already had a girlfriend, you saw his wallpaper for a second when he put it down on the table before locking it. “I’m not. It’s just that—Oppa, can’t I be shy around people?” you countered, Ten looked at you funnily. “Don’t kid with me, y/n- ah. You guys both have International Cuisine, right?” he asks and you nod. “Then, you’ll be around him more often from now on, loosen up, He’s a great guy, if he did something to you, just tell me and Johnny and we’ll take care of it for you.” he flashed you a smile and you brush it off while giggling at him. “Thanks, Oppa, but no thanks.” You say and the two came back with two trays full of food. “It’s on me.” Johnny settled down next to you and you shoot him a grateful smile as the four of you started digging.

 “Are you throwing a party for your birthday?” Johnny suddenly asked, you nod at him and he muttered a small okay while your eyes darted at Jaehyun— it would be totally rude not to invite him for your birthday party when the topic is already laid on the table. Plus, he was looking at the three of you intently, seemingly out of place with the subject of the conversation. “Jaehyun, you should come on my birthday, It’s on the 19th, just some drinks and food on me, nothing too grand.” You find yourself saying and Ten and Johnny were shocked that you invited him. you clear your throat and continued “Can you guys ask everyone? I haven’t seen Yuta, Jungwoo, and Taeil Oppa but I already asked a bunch of people.” You added. They all agreed. “Thanks for inviting me, I think I don’t have anything going on that day,” Jaehyun commented. “Sounds like a plan.” You say and the four of you continued digging in.

 That night on your birthday, everything made a 360-degree turn in your life. Having 23 boys in your flat and some of your girlfriends turn out to be so much fun. When you run out of drinks you find yourself on Jaehyun’s passenger seat as the two of you drive to the nearest store to purchase some alcohol— You and Jaehyun seem like the only person sober enough to walk and drive your way outside the comforts of your home. You felt really comfortable around him, he hasn’t made a move on you or anything, and you think that maybe it’s because he already had a girlfriend and is faithful to their relationship.

 “Why didn’t you bring your girlfriend with you?” you asked just to start a conversation. “You knew?” he asked you while throwing you side glances, you nod your head yes. “It’s kind of complicated, plus, we're not official.” He continued which made you shocked, he was being open with you shockingly. “What? Why?” for some reason, it made you really curious. He gives you a heartily chuckle “It’s complicated.” You only nod.

 When you came back to your flat, you and Jaehyun were left to sit together, Mark and Haechan were completely out of it, while Joy and Irene are having a conversation with Jisung and Chenle. It’s nice to see them conversing with each other. Johnny was busy preparing the drinks with Yuta, Taeyong, and Seulgi, while the others are setting up the karaoke on your flat screen Tv hanged on your living room’s wall.

 You thought that was the last time you’ll see Jung Jaehyun, or you thought that was the last time you’ll be together in the same room as well as be at the same table together. You forgot that you both have classes together, that you’re practically in the same department, you honestly forgot that you’re both in the same circle of friends.

 You’ve been closer with the guys as time goes by, they were nothing like the people from your High school, they were honestly cool to be with, it just that, they like to unwind sometimes, and that “sometimes” means every Friday of the week, unwinding with drinks and such. This time, Jaehyun was the host, and Jungwoo together with Taeil managed to dragged and convinced you out of girlfriend nights. You have been hanging out with them more than usual and you were getting closer with Jaehyun, particularly, you keep on looking for him at gatherings and he kept on looking out for you. There was an unspoken mutual understanding between the two of you, you know it was wrong, even if you find yourself giddy and happy when he messages you or when he calls you before you go to bed when the two of you meet in between subjects just to eat together. You knew you were repeating the same mistakes as you did with Jungkook, and you can’t help but fuck yourself because everything is wrong at the same time feels right. How screwed can you get? Why do you always choose temporary happiness over a peace of mind?

 That night, when most of the guys left to go home and some of them left to smoke outside, you find yourself alone with Jaehyun in his living room. You poured him and yourself a shot, the guys were surely taking their time outside. “One-shot.” You tell him and you both down the tequila in seconds, hissing at the taste burning your throats. You stared at him, thinking that you have to start distancing yourself from him, you don’t want to ruin what he had with his girl. Your stomach turns just by thinking about the possibilities of ruining someone else’s relationship. You were better than that.

 You move your gaze away from him, you were about to pour another shot when you felt Jaehyun’s warm hand on your neck pulling you closer. You felt his warm lips on yours, it was sweet and warm, burning you within, but the taste was anything but sweet— you tasted the tequila out of his lips as he licks your bottom lip that got you responding to him, you closed your eyes and find yourself fucking your boundaries for him. You wrap your arms around his neck as he pulls you closer by the waist, rubbing small circles on your skin. You break the kiss as you put your forehead on his, trying to catch your breath. He was about to kiss you again when you move your face away from him, trying to put some distance away from him. “Did I do something wrong?” you heard him saying. You wipe the smudged lipstick on your skin below your lips as you face him. “Jaehyun, you’re not completely single.” You said. “But I’m not in a relationship either, I told you months ago, it was complicated.” He sits beside you properly, a hand clamped together as you look at him.

 “Jaehyun, this is non-negotiable. I don’t want to ruin someone’s relationship.” You say, and Johnny walks in. you poured yours and Jaehyun’s shot glass clicking with his before downing it in one go. If Johnny felt the thick air between the two of you, he doesn’t comment on it.

 You choose to forget what happened when all of the guys started walking back inside. Started conversing with Johnny about this student in your department that got kicked out of the university because of some issues. You got your self a couple of drinks before standing up to head to the bathroom, but since it was your first time at Jaehyun’s house you ask him where it was, plus Lucas was incredibly taking his time in the bathroom so Jaehyun leads you to his room instead. “Just use mine, Lucas is taking forever.” He said. You nod and head for the bathroom in his room. His room was surprisingly clean and very much boyish in your opinion, the walls are painted blue, his bed covers are white and was neatly done, the cabinets are on the side while a bunch of basketball trophies is beside his computer.

 When you were done with his bathroom, you find him sitting at the end of his bed, browsing his phone while waiting for you. “I thought you already went down,” you said. Jaehyun looks up at you. “Can I look at your trophies?” you asked him and as he walks to you and standing beside you to look at his achievements during his High school days.

 “Wait, you went to Santa Clara?” you asked him. “So, you know, Jeon Jungkook?” you asked shocked at the information when he said as small “Yes. Why?”

 You shook your head and muttered nothing. “We went with some tune-up games in the past, but I know him, he and his group keep on hitting on our cheerleaders it was kind of funny.” He says to you and you laughed. “What’s new, but— wow, what a small world.” “Oh, that’s right he graduated from St. Vincent, right?” you turn your head at him and you see Jaehyun looking at you while waiting for your answer, you only nodded your head, not having the gusto to talk about Jeon Jungkook at the moment. You felt Jaehyun’s hands circling around your wrist, turning your body against him making you look up to him.

 You were completely drawn to him, from the way he pulls you closer by the waist, the way he lifts your head as he put his other hand to your face, he has you completely wrapped around his fingers. You felt his lips doing wonders to you and this time you let him kiss you. You find yourself wrapped around him for the second time. “Jaehyun—”

 “Hmm.” You felt him deepened the kiss as he pulls you impossibly closer, hips to hips pressed together and you hated how right it felt. “We need to go down.” you tried to push him away but he won't budge. Jaehyun, slips his thumb just above the exposed skin on your hips, rubbing small circles that got you moaning “If you haven’t noticed, I’m actually crazy for you right now.” He says under his breath and you felt warm all over. Jaehyun has his brows furrowed, his expression as if he was hurting all over the place, and you laugh at him. “Fine, I’ll spend the night here.” You hear yourself saying and Jaehyun only pulled you closer for a hug.

 When the night ended, Jaehyun tells the guys that he’ll be the one to give you a ride and no one suspects it— agreeing to him and biding the two of you goodbye while the two of you cleaned up the living room. Moments after, you find yourself having second thoughts about staying the night with him. You know this will only lead to you on Jung Jaehyun’s bed. “Do you want to go home?” he asks you as if reading your mind, and you shook your head. “But can we go grab some late snacks? I’m kind of hungry.”

 The both of you drove to McDonald's and ordered some take-outs, Jaehyun drove to a good spot and parked his car, handing you your orders after putting on some good music— fit for the atmosphere. “Ohhh, this is actually good, huh.” You say while smiling at him. Jaehyun put your drinks in the cupholder between the both of you and handed you some tissues after. The warm feelings are back and you hate to admit that he gives you butterflies in your stomach.

 “I mean, this could be our thing, y/m.”

 You didn’t comment on that. Digging into your burger as a distraction to the strange sensation that you kept on feeling. You were quietly eating your food while having mixed feelings about him. you know this familiar feeling— you’re not stupid enough not to know your catching feelings and that you’re starting to fall in love again.

 When you finished up, you turn your body towards Jaehyun, deciding to confess, it’s better to be turned down than to keep on catching feelings for someone who isn’t going to return it at all. It’s not like you to be so brave, in the past, you always wait and that was the problem. You wait until the opportunity slides away from your fingers— from you. Deciding to risk everything this time, you braced yourself for the rejection.

 “Jaehyun.” You started and he turns his head towards you. “You know, I like you, right?” you continued. “You’re not stupid and you know there is something going on with the both of us.” Silence feels inside his car to the point it got so thick you can even cut it with a knife. “I may sound like a bitch but you have to choose between me and her.”

 “Remember when I told you on your birthday that my relationship with her is complicated?” you nodded your head. “I wasn’t lying about it. We’ve known each other for a while and it’s been eight months that time when I wanted to take our relationship to another level.” Hearing him talk about some other girl and the fact he wanted to make their relationship official hurts you in so many ways possible. You find yourself nodding at him as you ignore the lump in your throat. “But she won’t even admit that she likes me, not even one “Thank you” for all the effort I’ve given her, I understand that saying she loves me is a different level, it’s an understatement, but you know, I’m just someone who also needed affections. I don’t understand her for being so high maintenance.”

 “I actually talked with her personally this morning.” He continued. “Was that the reason why you’re absent?” you asked mad over the fact that he was absent for some uncalled reason. “Okay, let me finish before you get mad at me, baby.” You hate how endearing that sounded but you let him talk anyways. “I told her, I was done waiting and that I was sorry that I didn’t keep my promise.”

 “You actually courted her?” you asked and he nods. “Yeah, she is high maintenance and stupid.”

 “And you know what she replied? She says that she’ll say yes to me if that will make me stay or shut my trap, even, you know how the thought of actually agreeing to that one person to be together was gone just for the benefit of the doubt? She should have said yes from the beginning, I don’t have issues with waiting, I waited for almost a year, I know I can do it again, but not like this.” He moves his hands in the air just to set his point. “Was it my fault that I fell out of love?” He asks you and you turn your head away from him, guilty with the fact you are the reason he fell out of love with her. “Y/n, just give me time, I don’t even need that much.” He says and you nod your head.

 When both of you got back to Jaehyun’s flat, it was already midnight, Jaehyun handed you his white clean shirt and boxer shorts to change in to. Giving you some privacy that you needed while he brushes his teeth downstairs. So many things have been running through your mind for the past hour, Jaehyun didn’t turn you down but he didn’t say that he likes you back, either. So where do you stand in his life? You should have gone home; you didn’t want the same mistakes you did in the past to be repeated, but you were tired of waiting and beating around the bush.

 Confessing to Jung Jaehyun that you liked him first made you feel naked around him, having your feelings out in the open. When Jaehyun walked in you were still dazed, thousand of thoughts running through your mind. This wasn’t the first time that you’ve to spend the night with him having sleepovers at Johnny’s or the others but this was definitely your first time spending the night with him.

 It wasn’t an issue for you to sleep beside him since you already confessed, anyway. And in no time, you slip off to dreamland instantly, shocked at how comfortable you are with having his arms around you as you drifted off to dreamland.

 You stir in your sleep when you felt Jaehyun’s hands all over your upper body as he peppers your neck with wet kisses. you fight the sleepiness and look at his nightstand to see that it’s only been two hours when you drifted off to sleep. “Jae, It’s only three in the morning. Can’t you do this later?” you asked as you fight the sleep in your eyes. You felt Jaehyun’s hands hover around your left mound, squeezing it slightly and you look at him fully. “You agree on doing this later?” he asks out of breath.

 “You expect me to fall asleep when you’re on my bed in my clothes?” he whispered in your ear and you moan when his fingers slip in your undies— rubbing circles in your clit. “Already this wet?” Jaehyun continued his ministration on you, adding another finger inside you while he kisses you on the lips. You felt him retract his fingers away and you were about to protest when you felt him lift your shirt just below your chin, your mounds completely in view and ready to be played with. His hands went back on your thighs as he separated your left leg from the other, urging you to open your legs more. His fingers are back on your clit, drawing small circles that made you clenching on nothing. Jaehyun frowned when he felt your walls incredibly tight when he inserted two fingers at a time. “Baby, so fucking tight.”

 Jaehyun throws his shirt over his head and helped you undress, completely impatient, and you tried palming him just to get a reaction. You heard him grunt lowly, shocked at how big he is when Jaehyun got rid of all the clothing. “That won’t fit on me.”

 “Where’s your casual bravado at?” he asks as he pulls you to his lap. You look anywhere but him as your cheeks started to flush. “Don’t tell me— are you a virgin?” you nod your head at him as you felt his cock stood out more to the revelation. “Fuck, well take it slow, baby.” Jaehyun guided you to his lap as you ride him, moving your hips as you coat his dick with your juices. You have your bottom lip trap between your teeth as you let his dick slide in your pussy’s lips. Feeling embarrassed but desperate you tried to push yourself back to meet his hips as you whine with the newfound sensations. You look so lewd above him riding his cock as your tits bounce from your movements, your eyes start to water from the thrill Jaehyun gives you. “I need to hear you.” Jaehyun pushes the messy strands of hair that frames your face.

 You moan at the feeling of his veiny cock sliding in between your pussy’s lips. He hums, pleased with your sounds around him, and rewards you by inserting his fingers all the way inside you, the numbers doing wonders and stinging you a bit, but it still felt better than having to clench at nothing. Jaehyun marks you up all over your neck and just above your mounds, flesh to flesh as you moan for him. He pumps his fingers in and out of you as you ride his cock continuously. He gathers you in his arms and lays you on your back, pulling your thighs against your chest, keeping your legs spread as he pushes inside you slowly, grunting. “I wasn’t planning on putting it inside, but you just feel so fucking good.”

 You cried at the stretch, slowly tearing you apart as he moves inch by inch just to be inside you fully. When he’s all the way inside of you, his breath leaves him in a shaky sigh, and he takes a couple of moments for the both of you before he started moving. You know Jaehyun was holding back, as he focusses on your breast as they bounce up and down in a humiliating manner as he pushes into you slowly for his liking, while his hands keep your legs spread wide for him, you felt embarrassed and humiliated with the way you’re positioned under him, but you can’t help every moan that escapes you as it started to feel amazing more than a while ago. The sting you felt was gone and all you can think is the pleasure that he gives you.

 “Fuck, you’re tightening up.” You turn your head to the side, trying to bury your face in the pillows around you as you hide your face from him, but Jaehyun doesn’t allow it, he bends down— his upper body draped over you, his face mere inched from yours, the new positions has his right hand pulling your right leg further upwards, thigh pressing harder against your chest. “Say it, baby. I need to hear you.” His gaze pierces through you, ordering more than asking you to obey him, and you find him looking sexier as he looks even as his skin glistens and how some strands of his hair started to stick over his forehead.

 Docilely and submissive, you answered him. “I- I want to cum, please.” You sounded so lewd; you didn’t even recognize yourself anymore. His gaze doesn’t free yours as his hips started to pick up the pace. “Do you know how hot you look right now? Spread out on my bed with nothing but my cock in you? fuck, fuck.” You started clenching around him as he put his thumb on your clit, drawing circles as you cry out his name in ecstasy.

 He fucks you through your orgasm, grunting as your walls get even tighter, making it harder for him to keep on moving inside of you but that made him ravish you more with fervor. Your orgasm feels like it will never end as he drags it out in order to reach his own high, finally, his hips stutter as he pulls out of you and pumps his dick more as he comes in your stomach and breasts.

 When he was done, he moves away from you and walks to the bathroom, you heard the faucet running and Jaehyun came out with a wet, warm towel in his hands and uses it to clean up the mess the two of you made. When he’s done, he tosses it to the side and scoops you in his arms, covering both of your naked bodies with his blanket that smells like him. He had you trap in his arms and sure it felt good to be treated like this, the feeling new to you.

 “Sleep, let’s not think about what happened for now.” He murmured and you agree. “I’m sorry.” You heard him say. You look up at him and see different emotions flickers in his eyes. “Honestly, I’ve seen this coming, I’m not usually like this but I always find myself fucking my rules just to be with you.” Jaehyun pulls you closer to him. “That’s because you liked me.” He told you before you drifted off to sleep for the second time.

 The next morning, Jaehyun give you a ride home, you— being awfully quiet after realizing everything that happened when you saw the bloodstains in his bedsheets that morning. You didn’t utter a word throughout the ride, reality downing to you one by one. Did you just sleep with a guy who wasn’t your boyfriend in the first place? When you got in the comforts of your home you smack your head for the stupidity. You knew how boys can be, and you just give Jaehyun the chance to have his way with you easily without a fight.

 When a day passed by without seeing even a shadow of Jaehyun, you sent him a message asking what was he doing. You waited for hours but you didn’t get a reply from him that day. You’ve been overthinking things and didn’t have the energy to be productive at all, you tried calling him but he wasn’t answering at all. The next day came and you checked your phone for any notification from him but there was none, you were about to get up when you heard a car honking in front of your house— you walk towards your window and there, you saw Jung Jaehyun, standing beside his car in your front yard, smiling up at you with his hands tucked inside his jean’s pockets. You ignore the raging butterflies in your stomach and hide the blush creeping in your cheeks with your hair as you give him a bashful smile in return.

 When you came down after washing up and getting ready for school, you kissed your mom goodbye saying you’re skipping breakfast and will just eat out in the café next to the University. You run to Jaehyun, his arms open and ready to catch you in his arms— and you embrace him. “Haven’t heard from you yesterday.” You push your self a little away from him to see a smile playing at his lips. “I miss you too.” He answered and for some reason, cat got your tongue.

 “It’s still early, do you want to eat out?” Jaehyun asked you when you both settle down inside his car and you nod your head after checking your wristwatch, you still have two hours to kill before your classes start, it’s Tuesday, so the both of you are packed up with your chef’s uniforms in your bags.

 “I hate cooking.” You tell no one in particular as Jaehyun started to drive away, “But you’re the top in our department.” you only give him a glance as you relax your body.

 When you arrived at the café next to your University, it was still spacious as it was still early, most of the time students would fill the room up, studying or just talking with their peers. You both settle down on the booth next to the window— Jaehyun, ever the gentlemen ordering and buying you your food. “Jaehyun, I really appreciate you spending your money on me, but next time let me pay for my own food.” You say when he came back with a tray of pastries and coffees in his hands. “Why?” he asked.

 “Because it’s your money, and we’re still students you know, we shouldn’t spend recklessly.” Jaehyun was bewildered by what you said and it was clearly written on his face. “Why?” you asked scared that you might say something wrong. “It’s just that, I was used to spending money for her even if I get to eat nothing as long as she gets hers.” He says. You felt horrified after hearing that. “No way, if you ran out of money, you say it and I’m going to pay for us, all right?”

“You sure you haven’t been in relationships?” there was a bashful smile playing at Jaehyun’s face, “No, it’s called basic manners, Jung Jaehyun.” You laughed at him. “So, I haven’t heard from you at all yesterday.” You watched as Jaehyun sipped at his iced americano— nodding at you as if you’ve stated the obvious.

“I ended everything with her, what she said doesn’t really sit on me right. I didn’t take her to be that hypocrite in the first place.” Jaehyun started. So, he was with her last night, you think, but not in the way that you think, he meets with her to cut and finish everything between them. “I just hate that every time we fought, she would always turn the tables around, guilt tripping me so I can admit that I’m wrong when she also has her mistakes in the first place. Don’t think that this happened because of you, it started happening before you even came, I don’t want you to beat yourself thinking that you ruined my relationship with her, because in the first place there’s no relationship between us.” You nod your head and all you can do is listen.

“Do you regret everything that has been happening?” you asked as you hear your heart beating rapidly inside your chest, you look at him and he did the same. “No. You happened unexpectedly, but no, I don’t regret you.” you fought the tears away, feeling the warmth and comfort inside, this has never happened to you, someone choosing you over anything, and you can’t help but tear up.

“Why are you crying? It’s not me who’s choosing you but you’re the one who is choosing me. If you haven’t noticed a lot of guys wants to be with you, so I’m really grateful that you liked me instead.” Jaehyun wiped the tears that threatening to fall down your check and pulling you close in his arms after. You put your head in his arms, everything feels surreal and if ever you are dreaming you don’t want to wake up anymore. “I really like you,Y/n.” you look up to him laughing as you cry harder, all this baggage and walls gone because of one person.  

That was the start of your relationship with Jung Jaehyun, all those crazy days and nights with him, long drives and Friday nights, eating and pigging out with him, he knows you more than the back of his hands, he knows that you get moody every month, he knew about your introverted ass, he knows that you can be basic and simple at times— you don’t expect too much of him and he does the same with you, on your first year of being together, you introduced Jaehyun to your whole family on your reunion day and they instantly love him— specially your brother and cousins. They enjoyed talking to him, and you’re honestly surprised at how welcoming you parents are to him, asking him to sleep over, Jaehyun and your brother having the same interest, playing computer games until the sun rises, His mother sending a box full of apples to your mother because he mentions that it’s your mom’s favorite.

Sometimes you get scared of breaking up with him, fighting isn’t something that the both of you can avoid, there are times the you just want to strangle him to death, but that makes everything real, being jealous and having make up sex, all those time the both of you fight for something trivial, those moments make your relationship stronger. And now you’ve been with him for the past 4 years, going steady and strong.  

“Babe, you ready?” you both settle down on his car, you just finish your final exams for this week, you and Jaehyun are up for a 2 hour long drive to get to your vacation house, most of your family are already there since this morning and the both of you have to finish your exams and classes first before joining them, you nod your head at him as he pull his jacket over his head and handing it you. Jaehyun knows that you get easily cold but you don’t want to turn the heater up and make him suffer as he tends to sweat a lot, that leads you to having his hoodies stack up in your closet.

“You have to cut your smoking off you know it’s not good for your health.” You say as you saw him scratch the back of his neck, a freshly lit stick in his mouth, when the both of you started going out you have seen him smoke a couple of times to the point that it got you curious and tried it, you have been smoking in the past but you cut it off as it was unhealthy. Jaehyun on the other hand finds it hard. “old habits die hard.” He told you once.

“You got to compromise, baby.” Jaehyun blew the smoke outside— his window rolled down and one hand on the stirring wheel, you got to admit though, your boyfriend looked hot. “Fine, what do you suggest?”

“Marry me after we graduate.” Your head snap back to look at him, as you waited for him to laugh and say that he was joking. Jaehyun throw the cigar outside reaching for the rubbing alcohol to clean his hands, you tend to hate the smell that clings to his hands whenever he smokes. You were awfully quiet, shocked at what he said, and you found yourself caught in your thoughts.

“If you promise to be with me forever, until the day that our hair turns white, then I promise to cut my smoking off.” He smiled at you, reaching for your hands that was placed in your lap as he pulls it closer to his mouth to give it some kisses. You can’t really say anything as tears started to fall one by one, you we’re just so happy that he thinks of being together with you for that long. “I know I’ve done so many things that disappoints you, but you still choose to be with me, and for that, I’m really grateful. So, I’m asking you this right now, I know we still have to graduate and we still have a long way ahead of us. And I would still have to buy you the most beautiful ring in the world. What I can give you right know is my hopeful words— promising you that I would be faithful and love you until the end, so are you going to say yes?” he asks while holding your hand.

“Yes.” the both of you laughed at the situation as you reach out to kiss him in the cheeks. “Babe! Stay seated or will get into an accident” he shouts but laughs with you.

You definitely don’t regret falling in love with Jung Jaehyun.

  Fin

[not-me-simping-for-blasty]

Silly Little Symphony - Bakugou Katsuki

Track 1: Paralyzer- Finger Eleven

—/—

Bakugou is not a fan of half-assing things.

He hates it, despises it actually. Bakugou feels like anything worth doing deserves 100% effort, and if you give it any less than that you might as well not even attempt it in the first place. That’s his motto and that’s what he sticks with and that’s what he’s doing right now, too. Obviously.

Except- why does it feel like he has to convince himself?

It’s like there’s this lingering feeling in his mind that he’s taking the easy way out. That he’s taking the cheater’s way out, but it’s- there’s just no other choice, alright?

Bakugou knows he’s a brave guy, knows that he could shred anything he set his sights on, but by that very same logic, he’s knows even more that he’s not a very soft guy. His feelings for you are his feelings, and yes he might acknowledge them, but that doesn’t mean he could ever communicate them delicately. Even when he runs fantasy scenarios in his head, the words still come out all wrong. They’re too loud and too brash and too forceful and you always end up offended.

Bakugou doesn’t want you to end up offended- at leasy more than you already have. So, he quickly decided on a different method of communication.

A playlist.

A playlist full of songs that convey what he’s been wanting to, but also sound angry and scary and tough- because he’s a tough guy who listens to nothing but rock and punk and metal, and has definitely has not searched up songs with your name in the title before, and has definitely not then added those songs to his library. Because that’s ridiculous and soft, and like determined before, Bakugou Katsuki is not soft.

What he actually is, is a guy with a playlist full of specially-curated songs. And a guy with absolutely no idea how to give them to you.

The thing is, he’s read manga and watched movies and read all sorts of articles about these types of confessions (not that he’d ever admit that), but none of those felt like him. He was not a smooth talker or a brazen flirt or even just a kind guy- no, Bakugou was mean and loud, and he knew full well that he’d much sooner be cast as the antagonist than the romantic lead.

So all of that was a problem, and then you also currently didn’t even like him. You made it very clear, though every sneer and comment and biting comeback, that only feeling you held for him was begrudging respect- and even that was only on the battlefield. Once he stepped out of the hero uniform than you were back to hating him, and he only made it worse with every childish insult he threw your way. Bakugou knew it was a stupid way to get your attention, but it was also the most efficient one; and he was a man of efficiency.

So that left him here- pining the same way he had been for weeks, staring down into a playlist full of songs he couldn’t figure out how to play for you.

He sneaks a look at you, red eyes just barely skimming over top of the bus seats. You’re sitting a few rows ahead, sharing a snack with Tsuyu.

Bakugou thinks you’re stupid. He thinks you’re stupid for eating junk food right before a day of training, and he thinks you’re stupid for choosing to sit all the way in front like a nerd, and most of all he thinks you’re stupid for sharing your snack with that damn frog face when he’s right there. And obviously much better in every comparable, concievable way. Obviously.

Bakugou presses his headphones more securely into ears, and slouches down deep into his seat. All he can see now is the back of the seat, and he thinks that’s a better alternative. At least it won’t piss him off- not like the sight of you, sitting up front and laughing where he can’t hear, will.

With a grunt, he hits shuffle on his playlist, turning the volume to max. He closes his eyes dropping his head against the window. Drum fills and a guitar riff flood his ears, and he’s relaxing a bit, sinking into the sound, and all is well and good until-

Well just look at that girl with the lights coming up in her eyes. She's got to be somebody's baby.

God dammit.

Fuck Phantom Planet. Bakugou thinks. Fuck them.

Then he’s growling as he hits the skip button, throwing his phone onto the seat next to him.

—/—

As it turns out, all Bakugou needed was to beat the ever-loving shit out of something.

Cracking his palms and shaking his limbs, Bakugou launches at another robot. He thinks the machines feel weak under his explosions, almost offensively feeble in their construction. Like all of U.A’s staff went braindead that morning- like they couldn’t even bother to cook him up a worthy opponent.

When Bakugou looks around, that’s clearly not a shared statement. There’s the usual standouts of course, stupid deku and stupid icyhot and even stupid dunce face is doing well for once, but the rest of them are average. Mediocre. Completely and utterly inferior to him- and then you enter.

Your quirk, blink, is a bit useless in this scenario, but you’re not letting that stop you. There’s purpose in your movements, quick and controlled actions as you strap your home-made bombs around the base of each robot’s leg. Machines don’t blink, so you’re shit out of luck for your main speed ability, but your training makes up the difference. With practiced ease you’ve darted out from beneath the robot’s feet, and then you’re hitting the detonate on your remote.

Bakugou thinks you look unreasonably fucking cool as you sprint away from the blast. So cool in fact, that he might even consider your tech explosions as cool as his quirk ones. Maybe.

Bakugou wipes his palms, muffling a yawn. He’d blown up all his assigned robots ages ago, and now was left kicking rocks and generally doing nothing.

This training was supposed to act as a benchmark test- the idea was to drop a similar opponent into the ring, one that emulated the entrance exam, to test how far everyone had come since the beginning of the semester. It could’ve been good in theory, but Bakugou thought it was just a waste of time. Robot’s were easy for him then and they sure as hell were easy for him now.

Still though, he was the first one to kill all his robots, so not all was lost. Bakugou still walked away a winner and that meant he was feeling much better than earlier.

Smirking with shameless pride, Bakugou saunted to the exit area. More students began to file in after him, and he kept mostly quiet, but he couldn’t keep his mouth shut when you walked past him.

“Fuckin’ fifth? With your overpowered-ass quirk?” He sneers, voice loud. “Waste of talent.”

Bakugou watches spin on your heels, watches your face melt into something deadly. You’re storming towards him, and he can’t even think past hoping you’d get a little closer.

“Robot’s don’t fucking blink, you jackass.” You’re red in the face and glaring, hands curling into fists at your sides. “You try getting. anything done without your quirk. Asshole.”

Then you’re stomping away, hardly giving him a second look as you cheer on your friends.

Bakugou can’t even begin to decipher what possessed him, to say those words, but he’s also not surprised. His words always come out wrong and he can’t say anything nice without wanting to scratch away his skin.

What he really wanted to say was that you were impressive even without your quirk. That you were admirably smart and tactical and well-prepared with your own bombs, and he thought that you looked really hot sprinting away from the wreckage- but that’s not what he said. Of course that’s not what he said.

Well, there goes his good mood. No amount of previous wins could ever distract him from how much of a loss that interaction was.

Eventually the rest of the class finishes, and then they’re all gathering breathless and tired back to the bus. Unfortunately, Kaminari fried himself completely and Mineta managed to break an ankle and that meant that they needed their own seats. That also meant that two people who had their own seats on the ride there, would now be sharing on the way back.

As shitty luck would have it, the class chose drawing straws as the deciding factor, and even worse than that, Bakugou got the shortest straw. The day was already shaping up to be pretty frustrating, but when you pulled the second-shortest straw it got even worse.

“We can always share instead, L/n!” Tsuyu’s says, hand on your shoulder and voice mediating. “Really. I don’t mind.”

Bakugou watched you sigh for a moment, and then you’re turning your head towards him. Your eyes meet his and Bakugou can’t help the smirk that rolls across his face- you’re looking at him and paying attention to him and even if it’s just you making a point he still likes that attention. He watches you squint your eyes at him in response, voice hard and steely as you speak to Tsuyu.

“No. It’s alright. We picked staws, and fair is fair.” Your squint morphs into a glare. “And besides, I’m not gonna let that smug bastard throw a fit into getting out of this.”

The statement should piss him off, and if anyone else said it it would’ve, but Bakugou finds it does the opposite. It just reaffirms how brave you are and how you’re not scared of him like everyone else is and how much he likes you for it- not that he’d ever tell you any of those things.

To save face, Bakugou instead pretends to be pissed about your words, his palms popping and crackling as he glares right back. He hopes it looks like a genuine threat and not a panic reaction, because really he just thinks you look so cool talking back to him directly like that and he definitely doesn’t know what to do with that. So instead he does what always works; what always makes him feel better when he gets a feeling too big to handle- he preps to blow shit up.

“Calm down, man. It’s just a seat.” Kirishima comes up behind him, pressing a water bottle into Bakugou’s crackling palms. “Here, take this and please don’t blow up the bus. Or L/n. That’d be so totally not heroic of you.”

“Shut the hell up.”

“No I’m serious, dude. Chill out, okay? L/n’s actually pretty nice once you get to know her.”

“I said, shut the hell up, Shitty Hair!” Bakugou barks, gritting his teeth.

Then he’s shoving his palms into his pockets, leaving Kirishima and the water behind, and stalking towards the bus before anyone else does. Bakugou figures that if he’s got to share a seat, then at least he’s going to be the one sat next to the window. He’ll make sure of it.

Still, there’s something sitting heavy in his stomach though- how does Kirishima know you’re nice?

The comment made his blood boil. Bakugou thinks it’s strange because usually he’s pretty tolerant of his friend, and even finds himself enjoying his company sometimes, but those words pissed Bakugou off. Pissed him off a lot.

”Wow, don’t look so goddamn thrilled.” You say sardonically, and Bakugou watches you drop into the seat next to him. “Might accidentally think you tolerate me, blasty.”

“Don’t fuckin’ call me that. Useless extra.”

Bakugou wants to smash his head into a wall- because why the fuck did he just say that?

Oh yeah, because apparently his jealousy was plastered all over his face, clear enough for you to comment on it. And even if you didn’t know that’s what the expression was, he’d still rather bite your head clean off than admit it was there in the first place.

“Yeah, whatever. I don’t want to fight.” You say, clenching your jaw as you settle back into the seat. “Look, it’ll be easier for both of us if we don’t talk, so I’ll just sit here and not bother you, alright?”

“Fine. Shut the hell up then.”

Once again, Bakugou wants to obliterate himself.

He doesn’t know why he can’t just tell you- why he can’t just say that he wants you to keep talking to him and that he wants you to keep snarking back at him. Why he can’t just say that he thinks your voice is one of the least grating ones in the whole class.

He thinks all of those things, but says none. Instead he keeps a fist clenched as his sides, scowling as he pulls out his headphones. He makes an intentional effort not to play your playlist and instead hits shuffle on all his music. He’d hoped that the loud drums and guitars would settle his emotions, but they didn’t. Nearly 10 minutes have passed and Bakugou’s as riled up as ever, but he’s also now completely convinced you’re trying to kill him.

You’re shifting in your seat, your arms extending out as you slip on your jacket. There’s little room, and every time you shuffle the sleeves to adjust them, you’re knocking your shoulders into his.

Then you stop.

You just stop and you go still and his skin isn’t tingling anymore and Bakugou is all kinds of pissed all over again. Because of you he’s nervous and flustered and you have the audacity to just sit there, unaffected. He has to snarl just to keep himself from blushing when he speaks.

“Why the fuck were you touching me?”

“It’s a small seat and I was putting on a jacket.” You reply, short and clipped. “I don’t know what you expect me to do about it.”

“Tch. Just don’t do it again. And shut up the fuck up already.”

“You- you talked to me first!”

“And? Who the fuck cares?” Bakugou grunts, turning the volume of his music up. “Now shut up.”

Jesus christ. Bakugou thinks to himself. Maybe I should just blow myself up for once.

Another few minutes pass, and Bakugou swears he’s really is dying. You’re still so close to him and he’s feeling very, very flustered, and while he doesn’t love the idea that you’re mad at him, he can’t say he hates the look on your face right now either. You’ve got your jaw clenched and your eyebrows set low and your hands are balled into fists as you steadfastly ignore him. Bakugou thinks you look scary- fucking terrifying.

He likes terrifying.

“Hey.” You suddenly nudge him with your shoulder, pointing to his earbuds. “I can hear it- your music. Turn it down.”

“Why the fuck would I do that?”

“Because that’s basic courtesy.”

“What the fuck makes you think I have that, hah?”

“Oh my god, you’re fucking impossible.” You rolls your eyes, heaving a frustrated sigh. “Listen, if you’re gonna keep it up that loud then at least skip that song. It’s shit.”

Bakugou glances down at his screen.

Fucking Nickleback.

Jesus, could his day get any worse?

“Shut the hell up.” He snaps, squinting his eyes. “What the fuck do you know about good music? You don’t know shit.”

“I know that song sucks, so skip it. If you’re gonna accost me with loud music at least make it good.” You bite back, and then Bakugou watches as your face melts into an easy smirk. “Unless... all your music is that terrible?”

“Sounds like you’re pickin’ a fuckin’ fight!”

“I am, you asshole!”

Bakugou doesn’t know when the two of you got so close, but now you’re only inches away. He’s got his palms up and you’ve got your lips pulled back into a snarl and suddenly the bus seat seems so much smaller. It’s so much smaller and all Bakugou can think about is the red in your cheeks and the fire in your eyes and how much he likes the sight of both.

“Just skip the song or turn it down.” You finally huff, falling back in your seat, and all Bakugou can think about is how that breathe would’ve been on his cheek if it was two seconds ago.

Bakugou is mad. He’s mad at you and your stupid witch powers that leave the air feeling cold and your stupid breaths that he can’t stop focusing on and your stupid comment. Your stupid comment that had his blood burning in his veins and irritation settling in his temple.

Bakugou listened to cool music, okay? Cool, loud music for cool, loud guys. You just insulted that, insulted him so this wasn’t just a means of confessing feelings anymore, it was a pride thing and that’s why he says what he said next. It’s definitely not because this was the golden chance he’d been waiting for.

“My music is fuckin’ good.” He growls, and then he’s yanking an earbud out and shoving it towards you. “I’ll fucking show you. Now shut up and listen.”

“So goddamn pushy, jesus.”

“You gonna fuckin’ take it or not?”

“Oh my god. Fine.”

Bakugou watches you fit the earbud into your ear, his mouth set into a determined line. He knew he’d fucked up every other part of this conversation, monumentally fucked them up even, but he wouldn’t mess this up. He was prepared and this was the chance he was waiting for. Only an absolute idiot could mess this up and Bakugou Katsuki was not an idiot.

So he plays the first song he’d added to your playlist. Paralyzer.

To his surprise, you start nodding your head almost immeadiately. You know this song. The drum fill starts and then you’re looking over at him, giving him the tiniest little smirk of approval.

“Not bad, blasty.”

“Fucking told ya.” He can’t help the pride that swells in him at your validation. It’s warm and heavy in his chest, nearly drawing a smile out of him- and then he remembers he’s supposed to be mad. “And I told you, don’t fucking call me that.”

“I’ll call you by your name when you call me by mine.”

“Wipe the smirk off your stupid fucking face,” Bakugou growls. “Or I’ll blast it off.”

“Oh, really?”

“Yes! Fuckin’ try me, extra!”

“Okay.” You huff a laugh at him. “Don’t blink then. Champ.”

Then you’re raising your hand, shoving it in his face and snapping before he can stop you. Bakugou flinches out of reflex and by the time he’s opened his eyes, you’ve already used your super-speed ability.

You’re sitting back against the seat, calm and collected and smirking, with both of Bakugou’s earbuds in your ears. You’ve got his phone in your hand and he watches you twist the cord around your finger, cross your legs casually and he’s stunned. He’s pissed that you got the better of him, but he also just really thinks you’re hot when you’ve won. He watches in dazed silence as you turn up the volume on his phone to max.

Well I'm not paralyzed, but I seem to be struck by you. I want to make you move because you're standing still.

Bakugou decides two things in that moment: One, he fucking hates Finger Eleven. And two, he wants to blow the entire fucking bus to smithereens.

—/—

eee i hope u all enjoy, but especially u @bakugouswh0r3 and @definitelynottrin :))

[simonsrosebud]

the one where someone doesn’t know who kevin day is, pt. 5

part one two three four

extra kalton content

games are over for the rest of the winter, and since winter break doesn’t officially start for another week it means that kevin spends most of his time at dalton’s apartment.

which, to be frank, isn’t any different than normal.

what is different, is that now kevin has much more free time to worry about meeting dalton’s family. how did he let himself get roped into staying there for a week?

oh right. because he’s trying to be a good boyfriend. and being a good boyfriend means doing this for dalton because it’s important to him. that’s probably why it’s stressing him out.

kevin flinches when a carrot hits his cheek. “come back to the present, will you?”

he drops his head back against the sofa. “sorry. i zoned out.”

and when dalton is dropping him off at his class for his first final of the semester, “are you okay?”

kevin shrugs. “i’m nervous about meeting your family.” he looks at dalton’s lap instead of his face.

dalton puts the car in park and leans over the center console to kiss his cheek. he stays there for a moment. “i know it won’t help to say there’s nothing to worry about, but it’s still true. they’ll love you because i love you.”

oh.

oh.

what?

“what?” kevin drags his stare up to dalton’s face. he’s smiling, he knows exactly what he’s done.

and dalton takes kevin’s face in his hands. “i love you. and i don’t expect you to say it back, and me saying it probably isn’t helping to make you less nervous, but thinking about me loving you is probably nicer than thinking about meeting my family.” he kisses kevin. “you gotta go, kev.”

kevin’s mouth is still hanging a little, and when he drags himself out of the car he leans into the open window. “you-you’re just gonna spring that on me and leave?”

“yep. and you’re going to think about it when you’re doubting yourself taking this exam.” he puts the car in drive, and blows him a dramatic kiss. “text me when you’re done?”

“no- i mean, yes, but-“

“good luck, love you!” and he drives off.

kevin watches his car until it turns the corner, and tugs at his hair before going inside.

he may have failed his exam, he may not have. he can’t really tell. either way, he lies a little to dalton when walking out. just got done, still have to wait for the class to end the exam before we can leave.

that kinda sucks. just txt me when ur done

kevin doesn’t know who to call, but his thumb eventually lands on abby.

“hey. are you okay? i feel like you never call me,” she laughs, and kevin grimaces. he should do it more often, then.

“i’m just stressed about something and… you’re the only person i thought to call.” he sits on a nearby bench outside his building. before abby can say anything he gets back to it. “dalton said i love you this morning and i don’t know what to do about it.”

“well, kevin, you don’t have to do anything about it. you can say it back? if you feel the same way?”

he does. he thinks. does he? is it just him thinking he should say it back because it’s the nice thing to do? he and thea never said it.

kevin shakes his head. his relationship with thea was toxic and a little fabricated.

kevin freezes. he’s never said i love you to someone and meant it. he takes a deep breath. he’s so fucked up. he knows he’s fucked up and it makes his head spin, but he can’t dwell on it because more of his reality would crash around him, and he’s already working through enough of it with bee behind the scenes.

“kevin?”

“i’m here. i don’t know if i feel the same, yet.”

“i know. you don’t have to say it. you can wait until you’re ready, or you don’t ever have to say it if you never feel it. he seems nice, i mean, i’d surely think that he’d be okay with you waiting?”

why did he call her? no one really knows his relationship but him.

he calls dalton. “i’m out, now. can you take me to the stadium?”

kevin shoots on an empty goal, hounding balls at cones for what’s probably close to two hours before the door opens.

wymack looks at him expectantly. “remember when betsy said you shouldn’t be spending more time here than necessary? like you did last year with the god-awful night practices?”

kevin plants the end of his racquet to the ground. “i had a lot on my mind.”

wymack retreats back through the hall. kevin follows. “should i be playing dad or coach right now?”

kevin doesn’t think he’ll ever get used to him saying things like that. about being his father. it’s not like he ever thought of him as just his coach, the day he found out that david wymack was his father that’s all he’s been able to think of him as in his head. the reality of it is just… different. shocking, even now.

“both?” wymack turns, an eyebrow raised. “dalton told me he loves me. i can’t say it back yet, so i don’t know what to say to him when i see him.”

he crosses his arms. “hey, dalton, you know i’m basically head over heels for you as anyone can tell, but i can’t say i love you yet because i’ve got shit up here that i need to settle first.” and after a moment. “too coach?

kevin shrugs. “it’s what i expected.”

it’s close enough to what he tells dalton, too. just without the head over heels and softer wording of “i’m fucked in the head”.

and he feels a little lighter when dalton kisses him and tells him it’s okay. “i told you you don’t have to say it. are you uncomfortable with me saying it again? do you want me to wait?”

and he doesn’t want to- or know how to say no, i need you to keep saying it until i believe you. i need you to keep saying it so i don’t forget. so that i know you mean it.

instead, he shrugs. he’s been shrugging so much lately. he’ll turn into neil. “i like hearing it.”

“kay.” dalton smiles. “i love you, then.”

he wasn’t planning on telling dalton anything past that, but then they start making out, and dalton lies him down, and he panics. “hey.” he says.

dalton has his lips on his neck. “hey.”

“no, hey, stop, d.” and he’s off of him quicker than he can comprehend.

“are you okay?”

“yeah,” he breathes. “no, i’m fine, i just…” he sits up. “i… can’t say i love you yet because i’ve never said it to anyone.”

“i’ve only been in two other real relationships before this, that’s okay-“

“no, i mean.” he sighs. “when i was... with the ravens, you know... saying i love you, or even like, oh love you man to a friend just... wasn’t something that-that we did. especially the way i was raised, i may have said it to a friend once or twice. but i don’t...” he looks up, and dalton feels pain in his chest from the pure vulnerability in his eyes. he slides his hands up gently to kevin’s face as he whispers, “i don’t think i’ve ever said i love you to anyone and meant it.”

“hey,” he whispers back. “that’s okay, kev. that’s okay.” he hugs him and kevin takes the biggest breath ever as he tucks his face into dalton’s shoulder.

and two weeks later, kevin’s standing on the porch of the miller family home in bowie, maryland.

he glances down at the address in his notes. this is the right one.

he should have let dalton pick him up from the airport. he knows he feels bad about it, but he didn’t want him to see how nervous he was.

he knocks on the door.

it opens after a few moments. a girl almost his height stands inside the door, and kevin panics. “hi.”

but she grins. “hi! you’re kevin! come in!” she steps back and it’s so fucking warm in the house compared to outside. “i’m so excited you’re here, dalton told us all about youuu” she coos as she leads him further into the house. dalton is shouting as he runs across the kitchen to turn down the stove to stop something from boiling over, and when he turns he grins.

“kevin!” he very obviously tries not to run over to hug him, and almost lifts kevin off his toes. “how long have you been here?” he whispers.

“twenty seconds.”

“oh good. okay. how was your flight?” he shrugs. “okay, cool, uh, let’s take your bag to my room.”

dalton kind of rushes them downstairs. his room and a spare bedroom are the only ones down there, and when he shuts the door behind them he takes a deep breath. “i’m sorry. i’m really nervous. my family’s kind of loud and my sisters are those people who just kind of act like they’ve known you for a while within five minutes of meeting you, so they probably won’t care to be weird in front of you. and my dad acts real tough and he’ll do the dad thing from movies and hammer you” kevin has no idea what he’s talking about. “um, and my sisters are annoying and if they bitch at each other just ignore it- it’s just what they do. and i just-”

“dalton it’s fine!” kevin shrugs out of his coat. “you forget i’ve lived with andrew, nicky, and neil. every awkward or tense moment is created because of them.”

he also knows how to school his expression in strange situations. again, he’s grown up in the spotlight.

so dalton leads him back upstairs where his mother is standing at the stove and his two sisters are at the table leaned close and whispering. they stop and both turn when the boys come up. “sorry, stole him for a second. um, mom, this is kevin.”

“oh, call me anne. it’s so nice to finally meet you! dalton’s told us plenty.”

“you as well. i’m just glad i was able to come out here this winter.” he’s got on his press smile on instinct. he’s so nervous, he feels like he’s sweating.

“i’m carmen, this is bella!” the girls wave from their spots at the table, and before he can say hello carmen speaks up again. he’s not complaining. “so you play exy? bella plays exy.” bella elbows her. “what!”

“i really don’t. i joined intramural at school so my friend wouldn’t be alone. i’m really bad.”

“not terrible, he could teach you some moves. he’s incredible.” now kevin shoots dalton a look. “what.”

“no, it’s okay, i mean i know who you are.” kevin’s stomach drops a little. “not like- i know that you’re famous for exy, i don’t like know you.”

kevin’s trying hard not to regret coming. why did he think he could act normal with someone else’s family?

but surprisingly, things smooth out after a few more minutes of painstaking conversation. granted, after kevin meets dalton’s father after comes home.

“kevin day. it’s a pleasure to meet you, sir.” he’s proud of his handshake, but mr. miller doesn’t pay it any mind.

“george. nice to meet you.” he nods, and grabs a bottle from the fridge. “beer? dalt, you get him a drink?”

kevin stiffens as he sits back at the table. “i don’t drink, sir.”

george frowns for a moment. he doesn’t remember how old dalton said he was. “you’re not underage, are you?” only three years younger, right?

“no, i just don’t drink.” anymore.

“fair enough.” he sits back at the table, and gestures towards his face. “see you’ve got a tattoo. why the face?”

“dad!” carmen is doing homework on her laptop, but looks up with a shocked look on her face. “don’t be rude,” she mumbles.

“i’m just asking!”

kevin honestly doesn’t know who to go by, but he feels his dad is the right route. “it’s a cover up. the one under it was a cocky premature thing with... uh, my, my-”

“his kind of brother.” kevin wishes carmen would butt out. but he has to play nice.

“oh! i’m sorry, i thought dalton said you were an only child.” and his dad actually seems sorry that he got his information wrong, despite it not even coming up yet, that kevin feels bad. he balls his fists under the table.

“we weren’t related. i just grew up with him. my family situation is... complicated.”

george holds his hands up after a speedy glancing at dalton. kevin thanks god for whatever face dalton must have made at him. “not my business to intrude. forget i asked about the face.”

and then things smooth out. they eat dinner, and kevin helps put dishes into the dishwasher to boost his morale with anne before joining dalton and his sisters in the living room. he sinks into the couch. dalton looks bored at what bella has on, the history channel, but kevin zones in on it. he tends to watch it a lot when andrew and neil aren’t there. or while he’s doing homework.

an hour in, both kevin and bella are enamored by whatever segment they’re playing. when dalton gets up to grab a drink, carmen smiles to herself and tosses a mini pretzel at bella, it lands on her sleeve, but she doesn’t notice.

she shakes her head. she does the same to kevin. it lands in his hood, and when he doesn’t move to take it out carmen leans forward.

dalton walks back in and lingers when he sees her. “you ever watch these two watch the history channel?” he frowns. what? “you could cut the sexual tension with a knife!”

bella snaps and kicks carmen. dalton rolls his eyes and sits with his head in kevin’s lap. carmen looks at him with a challenging brow. dalton isn’t going to let her win her little experiment.

he leans up and kisses kevin’s chin. “wanna go downstairs?”

kevin slides his hand into dalton’s hair, looks down at him for a moment. “soon. there’s still twenty minutes left.”

dalton’s jaw drops. carmen cackles.

at least he’s fitting in.

the rest of kevin’s trip to maryland at dalton’s family home are when they go to NYC for a day, and when he and dalton are just lounging around at the house and kevin says i love you

[bounce-a-coin-off-your-witcher]

lip sync your way into my heart

( @thecomfortofoldstorries and I got into a fun head-cannon debate last night about Tik Tok POVs and this is what happened)

--- Jaskier has never really been in the loop when it comes to social media. He was behind the curve when he made his Tumblr and he was two years late to sign up for Twitter. It’s no surprise that he finally downloads Tik Tok and makes an account several months after it’s become a viral platform.

That also means all the good usernames are taken; Jaskier types in @buttercup-bard, sees that it’s available, and calls it a day. This isn’t an app he’s going to care about. It’s just to waste time during his forty minute commute to and from campus. 

Alas, he has ADHD...and this shit is addictive.

Especially, he hates to admit, the thirst-trap hotties who do weird, obscure, edgy POV videos. Jaskier knows they’re aimed primarily towards teen and young adult women but he’s a red-blooded Redanian gay. He’s horny. He can watch a few POV Tik Toks on the bus and thirst after pretty boys with big muscles...as a treat.

By Jaskier’s second week of classes he’s found a definite favorite Tik-Tokker (is that what they’re called? Or is it influencer? Jaskier doesn’t care). The guy is gorgeous. He has beautiful honey-gold eyes and long, silvery-white hair; which is appropriate since his handle is @whitehairdontcare. He makes a wide range of content, too. Perfect for Jaskier’s Concerta-focused tastes. There are some dances here and there and some Q&A videos, but for the most part he does POVs. 

Jask and his roommates, Essi and Priscilla, have spent many happy hours poring over Mr. White Hair’s account, watching and re-watching their favorites from his vast repertoire of content. Essi loves his weird, edgy-boi shit. Stuff with titles like “POV: I fight the bully who insulted your haircut” or “POV: you make a deal with the devil for true love”. Stuff that Jaskier would have been into when he still listened to My Chemical Romance on the regular (okay, he still does, but don’t tell Essie). 

Priscilla is a huge fan of Tik Tok dances. She follows every challenge and ranks her favorites, compiling them into a YouTube series that’s more for her self-gratification than anything else. Mr. White Hair is generally towards the top of her list whenever he deigns to follow a trend that doesn’t involve badly applied makeup blood smears. The guy clearly works out and the definition of his body (and the movements of said really hot body) make the dances look so much more fluid and fun. Jaskier and Priscilla clearly share a brain-cell when it comes to appreciating Mr. White Hair’s hotness.

Jaskier’s favorites, of course, are the cute little POVs that lie scattered between all the edgy ones. Stuff made for the softies of Tik Tok. Stuff made for boys like Jaskier. “POV: I fix your car for you” is the one he’s probably re-watched the most. Mr. White Hair is lying on his back beneath a jacked-up blue car, oil smeared in a few strategic places on his face, chest, and arms. At the very end of the Tik Tok he moves the wrench out of the way of his face completely and winks directly into the camera.

Jaskier hates to admit it, even to himself, but no matter how many times he’s watched that stupid twenty-give second video, that wink drops his heart straight down into his shoes and fills his stomach with butterflies.

---

“Hey do you guys carry fake blood here?” an almost terrifyingly deep voice asks from behind him. Jaskier twirls around on his heel, Retail Smile firmly in place, and loses his shit the moment he sets eyes on his latest customer.

It’s Mr. White Hair.

Here. In the middle of the aisle of the Party City where Jaskier works every weekend. He’s either going to throw up or pass out or both. 

He doesn’t though. Instead, the Demon Lord of Retail possesses his body momentarily and nods, “Right over this way!” He leads the insanely attractive influencer over to the year-round section of Halloween FX makeup and gestures towards the shelf filled with various fake blood capsules, bottles, and packets. 

“Thanks,” Mr. White hair smiles. Jaskier nods again, silent, and drifts back towards the counter in a daze. He’s the only one on shift right now (it is not a very busy Party City) and he knows that he can’t pass out on the dirty tile floor or he’ll get fired (and perhaps tetanus). He just needs to power through the next few minutes and then he can crouch next to the helium tank and freak the fuck out.

But not until Mr. White Hair is gone.

Just as Jaskier is re-learning how to breathe normally, the sexy internet star makes his way towards the counter with an armful of products and the retail worker loses it again. Thank god for the ability to compartmentalize.

“So, just these for you?”

“Yeah, thanks.”

“No problem! I love your Tik Toks by the way,” Jaskier replies automatically. His eyes widen slightly. Why the fuck did I mention his Tik Toks!?

“Thanks,” the guy says and blushes. “I didn’t know they’d gotten so popular.”

“You have like two million followers?” Jaskier laughs. “I think that makes you pretty popular. Maybe even famous.”

“Oh yeah...right.” 

“Anyway, your total is going to be twenty-one fifty.”

Mr. White Hair pays and Jaskier bags all his fake blood, wondering the whole time exactly what kind of content he can look forward to seeing. More of Essi’s edgy shit, apparently. As he’s handing the plastic bag over the counter, Jaskier smiles and works up the courage to ask, “Is your hair naturally white? I don’t mean to pry, it’s just really pretty.”

Geralt’s face goes slightly pinker than before and he nods. “Yeah. Weird genetic thing. Thanks.”

“No problem. Right on,” Jaskier beams. “Well, it was nice meeting a famous person. Thanks for stopping in.”

“Thanks for helping me out,” the Tik Tokker replies. Jaskier watches him exit the store before ripping his phone from his pocket and dialing Essi. He needs to talk to her before he spirals into a giddy panic attack.

---

“Hey Jask have you seen that hot guy’s latest Tik Tok?” Priscilla asks, lounging across her futon like a queen. Jaskier looks up from his copy of The Collective History of Aedirnian Funeral Dirges and wrinkles his eyebrows in confusion.

“No, why?”

“You should go check your phone. I think you’ll be happily surprised.”

“Oh-kay,” Jaskier says, drawing out the ‘kay’ for as long as it takes him to get up from his seat on the floor and exit the room. He retrieves his phone from the charger in the kitchen and returns to Priscilla’s bedside. He opens his new favorite app and pulls up @whitehairdontcare’s page. There’s a new POV from earlier this morning and Jaskier taps on it. 

His eyes go round when he reads the caption: “POV: You’re the cute cashier at the Party City and I’m bad at flirting”. 

Mr. White Hair is staring into the camera with those beautifully golden eyes, awkwardly rubbing at the back of his neck with his hand while he lip syncs to whatever song is playing. He’s wearing a tight, navy blue v-neck and Jaskier can see the movement of every one of his ridiculously defined muscles as they flex. The silver wolf’s-head necklace Mr. White Hair always wears around his neck is in its usual place, dangling down between those perfect collarbones…

Jaskier takes a shaky breath and glances up at his friends, who are staring back at him with wide eyes. “It could be about anyone.”

“How many Party Cities do you think he went to yesterday?”

“I’m not going to get my hopes up,” Jaskier snorts. “He’s a social media influencer and I am one semester away from finishing my degree and my thesis. Why would he ever want to be with someone like me?”

Essi rolls her eyes and Jaskier goes back to his homework. 

---

Later that night, alone in his room, Jaskier plugs his earbuds into his phone and watches the Tik Tok over and over. He finds the song Geralt used and adds it to his Work Is Tough playlist, which he’s allowed to play over the loudspeakers at the store so long as he’s working a solo shift. 

He watches Mr. White Hair’s plush pink lips move around the words and dreams of kissing them someday, as far-fetched as that scenario is (because this video is definitely not for him, that’s impossible):

“My hopes are so high that your kiss might kill me.

So won't you kill me, so I die happy.

My heart is yours to fill or burst, to break or bury,

or wear as jewelry; whichever you prefer.”

Fucking Dashboard Confessional. Of course. One of Jaskier’s favorite bands from his emo days in middle school. If this really was for Jaskier, if this really was a legitimate attempt at online flirtation by Mr. White Hair himself, it was working.

 Jaskier buries his head in his pillow and sighs. 

[jungshookz]

i just saw this on tiktok & idk if it’ll make sense when i explain it but,, imagine y/n finally gets the balls to confess to someone (i was thinking yoongi but anyone else would still be cool) & does it but he has his headphones in,, the thing is he actually isnt listening to anything but he pretends that he didn’t hear her (bc he’s vv silly) and she’s just like “nvm” and then without blinking he goes “oh... well i like u too btw” & then BOOM they get married

➺ pairing; min yoongi x reader

➺ genre; unsurprisingly this is a university!au, fluff!!!!!!, friends to lovers duH

➺ wordcount: 3.3k

➺ what to expect; “i like-you like you… romantic… style… you know?”

➺ note; for the first time ever i have nothing to say but happy reading!!!! y/n’s awkward and yoongi likes to bully her whaT’s new

(original gif source unknown :-( but i found it off here!!)

                          «────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

okay

you know what

this is going to be great

this is going to go super well

you know why?

because you practiced this like, at least a hundred times over the past month!

you know what you’re talking about

you know exactly what to say and how to say it

(you might’ve written a script for yourself just to be safe)

((it’s scrunched up at the bottom of your bag))

“nothing to be nervous about…” you mumble to yourself as you fix your hair in the mirror

you tuck a strand of hair behind your ear before promptly untucking it

…and then tucking it again

maybe you should do hair tucked behind your right ear but untucked on the left ear

or does that look weird??

how about if you pull your hair up into a bun?

…

well now you just look like a freshly boiled egg, so that’s certainly not going to work.

“i’m not nervous. not at all.” you mutter, turning side to side to make sure that all angles of your face look somewhat decent

the other day yoongi pointed out some unblended concealer on your jaw so now you’ve been beating your face twice as hard every morning to make sure that everything is blended to perfection

speaking of yoongi

he’s actually the reason why you’re talking to yourself in the bathroom like a crazy person

…you like him.

well, you’re pretty sure you like him…

you pause for a split second before shaking your head

no, yeah.

you definitely like him.

the two of you have known each other for about a year now?

the story of how your friendship started isn’t all that exciting, now that you think about it

you were both in the same psychology class and he was late on the very first day and the only empty seat that was closest to the door was one that was next to you

you were hoping to make a new friend this semester but yoongi definitely wasn’t the kind of friend you had in mind

you were hoping for someone bright and chipper anD it wouldn’t hurt if they just so happened to be very intelligent and helpful when it came to coursework

“sorry.” the latecomer mumbles when his foot accidentally nudges against your backpack on the floor

“all good.” you smile politely and lean down to push it under your legs

you let out a breath before bringing your attention back to the prof

“-now, i know that not everyone likes doing this, but it is the first day of class, so how about some icebreakers?”

you resist the urge to let out a groan of protest upon the mention of icebreakers

gOD

seriously?!?!

icebreakers???

you guys have to do icebreakers??

how old do these professors think you are??

you hate icebreakers

they’re the absolute worst!

especially the ones where you have to tell people three things about yourself or three hobbies you have

because you can never come up with interesting factoids about yourself when you’re put on the spot like that

you remember last semester one of the icebreakers for your english class was two truths and a lie and to make matters worse it wasn’t like a ‘turn to the person sitting next to you’ exercise, it was a ‘everyone’s going to go around the room and share with the entire class’ exercise

and when it was your turn, the only thing you could come up with was: “i… am a human being. i… have teeth. and i… like… cilantro…?”

…

what the hell was that?

you clear your throat quietly when everyone looks at you like you’re insane

well, you technically followed the rules of the game

you aRE a human being

you DO indeed have chompers

and you hate cilantro!

but uh

out of all the things you could’ve said, those three were admittedly a little odd

“is the lie that you’re a human being? because you’re acting like an alien trying to fit in with us humans, my friend!” the girl sitting next to you (you later find out that her name is judy and you’d just like to say that you nevER liked her because she was one of those overly ‘i’m just happy to be here!!’ people that made you want to slam your face into a wall) nudges your side and you resist the urge to slap her hand away

the class immediately bursts into scattered laughter and you flash your prof a sheepish smile

so yeah

icebreakers have never been your forte and you don’t think they ever will be

“turn to the person next to you and… god, i don’t know…”

see??

even the prof seems reluctant to do this so wHY is he forcing everyone to do this????

“okay, how about this! tell them what you ate for breakfast, lunch, and dinner yesterday. you can tell a lot about a person by what they eat in their every day lives. there we go.”

you press your lips together as you awkwardly manoeuvre yourself so that you’re facing the left

you force a smile onto your face when the stranger turns to face you as well

“do you wanna-”

“so like-”

the both of you speak at the same time and you immediately clamp up

well, this is just wonderful, isn’t it?

two seconds in and you already want to hurl yourself into the middle of a busy intersection

“oh, um, i’m y/n, by the way.” you lean in a little in case he can’t hear you

“cool, nice to meet you.” he nods as his fingers drum against his kneecap, “i’m yoongi.”

“oh, cool. yeah, nice to meet you too. yeah…”

“yeah…”

oh dear god

this entire interaction just makes you want to shrivel up and die

“so… should i go f-”

“look, we don’t have to do this, like… i personally hate icebreakers and i think i’ll survive without knowing what you ate yesterday. no offense.” yoongi chuckles before scratching the back of his neck, “we can just go back to doing our own thing until the professor calls time.” he shrugs before putting a single earbud in

you pause

oh!

okay

well

that worked out in your favour

“alright, no problem. i hate icebreakers too, so…” you turn back to look at your laptop

you stare at your empty google doc as your fingers drum aimlessly against the trackpad

you turn to take a look around

everyone else is just chatting their mouths off so you feel a little awkward sitting here doing nothing

…okay fiNE you’re just going to say something

“i mean, i guess it’s a good thing we’re not sharing anything with each other because i had, like, an embarrassing number of goldfish crackers for breakfast yesterday.”

yoongi nods before offering you a tightlipped smile

you press your lips together before slumping down in your seat a little

alllrighty

tough crowd this morning!

whEn is the professor going to call time??

at least you can use this time to think about where you’re going to sit next time

maybe you’ll sit in the front

smart people usually sit in the front, right???

you-

“what flavour?” you perk up when yoongi suddenly speaks up

he’s still scrolling through his phone and noT looking at you but you’ll take it

“the cinnamon graham cracker ones.”

he turns to raise a brow at you, “what? that’s not a flavour.”

“sure it is!” you scoff and open up your browser to search them up

“i only know about the cheddar ones. and cheddar is the superior flavour.”

you turn your laptop to show yoongi your screen, “see, check it out! there’s more than just cheddar.”

“oh. wow.”

and yeah

that’s how your guys’ first interaction went!

see?

nothing to rave about

it’s funny because you remember after hanging out with yoongi for the first time (the both of you had an hour and a half gap before your other classes) you told yourself that you weren’t allowed to like him

you have this tendency to immediately fall in love with someone just because they’re nice to you

like one time, this guy held the door open for you at the library and shot you a smile and a ‘no problem’ after you thanked him and you couldn’t stop thinking about him for literally two weeks straight

you’ve given him the affectionate title of library boy

you still think about him from time to time!

so you were pretty surprised to find that you weren’t slowly crushing on yoongi a month after meeting him

(you like to think it’s because sometimes he talks with his mouth full and that’s one of your turn offs)

this was a personal achievement for you!

not falling in love with someone after one day of getting to know them?

gold star for y/n!! :D

and you were pretty sure that this ‘friendship’ was just going to be one of those semester friendships

you know, the ones where you hang out a lot solely because you’re in the same class and it’s good + convenient to have a buddy in the same class

and after the semester ends you promise to meet up with them next semester and it never actually happens so it’s just an endless cycle of ‘hey, you free this week?’ and ‘i can’t this week, what about next week?’

and eventually you just stop talking to the other person because that’s just how it is

and when you see them in line for coffee at starbucks you’ll obviously say hi to them and the two of you will be like omg we have to hang out soon!!! but in your minds you’ll be thinking something like even if the world was ending we are not going to find time to hang out

you know, that kind of friendship!

not to mention, you don’t have a lot of boy-friends in the first place so you were positive that this was a business only friendship

so you were more than shocked to see the ‘i’m starving. let’s get pizza for lunch. where u at?’ text from yoongi at the beginning of the second semester

and now, here you are!

one year later and you’re still getting i’m starving. let’s get [insert food of choice here] for lunch. where u at? texts from yoongi

the only difference between now and then is the fact that you are completely and utterly whipped for yoongi

110% in love with that man

you don’t even know what changed!!!!

one day he was telling you a story with his mouth full as per usual and instead of finding it gross you actually thought it was cute how he seemed to resemble a chipmunk

and then you started to notice other things about him that you found cute

like the way his eyes light up whenever you bring him an iced coffee

or the way he throws his head back and places a hand on his chest when he’s laughing reaLLy hard over something you said

or how he leans back in his chair before sticking his foot up on the seat in front of him while chewing on the lid of his pen

and even your tradition of flipping each other off after you hop off the bus at your stop has your heart fluttering

you really can’t explain what happened

you kind of just woke up one morning and was like:

…do i like yoongi?

omg DO I??

this is… month five of your crush on him?

the only reason why you finally decided it was time to tell him about your feelings was because you spent the entire weekend reading friends to lovers fan fiction and now you’re all revved up and ready to rumBLE

if it can happen to a fictional character it could certainly happen to a very real human being like you

and even if he doesn’t like you back (womp womp) it’ll be fine

it won’t be the end of the world!

yoongi’s always been super chill so you’re pretty sure it’s not going to destroy the friendship

if anything he’ll just use it to tease you sometimes (“hey i’m thirsty do u maybe wanna buy a drink for me? …the love of your life?”) and you’re completely fine with that

sure, it’ll be a little embarrassing to have to sit through the ‘i just think you’re a really good friend’ conversation but you’ll get over it

“look who’s finally back.” yoongi glances up at you, “did you have a nice poop???” he says loudly and you can’t help but scowl when you get a couple glances your way

he giggles to himself before looking back down at his phone

“very mature, yoongi.” you snort as you take your seat, “you child.”

a beat of silence ticks by and you feel your leg started to bounce anxiously under the table

maybe this isn’t a good idea

…

NO

you’re not allowed to back out of this!

you literally spent so much time hyping yourself up in the bathroom

you’d have wasTed hours of rehearsing if you change your mind now

“okay, i’m just-” your voice wavers and you clear your throat quickly, “i’m just going to say something, and… and don’t interrupt me or anything until i’m done, because then you’ll ruin my train of thought.” you pause to let out a breath, “i like you, yoongi. and not, like, in general… i mean i do like you in general but i like-you like you… romantic… style… you know?”

okay

well

it seems that maybe you needed to practice what you were going to say one last time because ‘i like-you like you romantic style’ definitely wasn’t in the original script of this tragic screenplay

“to be honest, i’m really not sure what changed. i know that we’re pretty good friends and all but i just felt like i had to tell you about my feelings. you know, i… i really care about you and you’re one of the most important people in my life, if i’m being honest. you’ve always been there for me and, i don’t know… i’ve liked you for nearly five months, and the only reason why i didn’t wanna tell you was because i didn’t want to, like, potentially ruin our friendship? oh, and it’s totally okay if you don’t like me back, i just figured you should know! i mean, it’s literally fine if you don’t feel the same way, and you don’t have to give me the whole pity speech because i know from firsthand experience that you’re literally the worst at trying to make someone feel better so… yeah! i guess that’s all i had to tell you. i like you.”

you twiddle with a strand of your hair nervously as you conclude your little speech and wait for yoongi’s response

…

…

…

yoongi looks up at you before plucking an earbud out

“what?”

you immediately feel all the blood drain from your face

he… he didn’t even…. he didn’t hear a sINGLE thing of what you just…

you just poured your heart out to him and he was listening to music this entire time?!?!?!

if anything, this is a sign from god

this is god giving you a chance to rethink the whole confessing your undying love for yoongi thing

this is god telling you that you should thank Him and spend the rest of your life praising Him for saving you from a lifetime of embarrassment!

you swallow thickly before letting out a nervous chuckle, “wh- what?”

“did you say something?”

“me? i did, but it’s not important.” you wave it off before letting out a scoff, “it’s whatever. it’s… yeah, it’s fine. all good.”

“‘kay.” yoongi sighs as he plugs his earbud back in, “but for the record, i like you too.”

“yeah, well-” you look back up at yoongi quickly

what did he-

did he just-

are you hearing things??

“um-” you shake your head quickly before leaning in a little, “sorry, what?”

yoongi sets his phone down before reaching up to pluck out both his earbuds

“did i stutter?” he sniffles before folding his arms and putting them on the table

you blink

you can’t tell if he’s joking or not because of the complete lack of emotion in his face

like that one time you were really upset over completely bombing your midterm and yoongi looked at you with the pokeriest of poker faces and was like: “this one, single test doesn’t define your intelligence. you’re one of the hardest working people i know and you’re a very diligent student. i’ll help you study for your next midterm. i believe in you.” and you were just like ?????

so right now with yoongi telling you that he likes you back..,., you genuinely can’t tell if he’s teasing you or not

“i don’t… i don’t know what you’re saying…” you feel like your eyes are going to dry out from how wiDe they are

“i’m saying that if you asked me if i wanted to go and make out with you behind the bookshelves right now…” yoongi hums as he leans back against his chair, “i would say yes. i would even go as far as to say hell yes.”

??????

what is happening?????

are you having a fever dream???

is THIS what a stroke feels like???

“actually, i’m starving. let’s go get some food.” yoongi gets up from his seat before grabbing his backpack and flinging one strap over his shoulder

you feel like you’re on autopilot mode as you get up slowly from your seat

you’re just… trying to process… what the hell is going on…

okay

um

so he does like you back??

“hey-” you look over to see that yoongi’s already picked up your backpack for you and has his free hand sticking out, “are you going to hold my hand or not?”

see???

how are you supposed to interpret that???

you look down at his hand and blink at it cluelessly

so he wants you guys to hold hands??

“for god’s sake-” yoongi rolls his eyes before grabbing your hand and gently tugging you along, “i have to do everything for you-”

“oh, that is so not true!” you snap out of your trance to defend yourself, “i’m just thinking about- so you could hear me the entire time??”

your stomach does a flip when yoongi suddenly brings your hand up to his mouth before brushing a sweet little kiss along your knuckles

“i like-you like you romantic style, too.”

help me help you make your wishes come tru (aka send me a request)

requested drabbles masterlist

[mrs-dynamight]

Be Nice To Me 2

Part 1.

*************************************************

Pairing: Katsuki Bakugou x fem!Reader, Denki Kaminari x fem!Reader

Warnings: Eventual mature content, angst, hurt/comfort, love triangle, the reader is lowkey toxic, everything will be adressed in every episode (:

Chapter warning: Swearing but just a little bit of it. Mentions of past relationships between the 1A students. Everything else is pure Fluff.

Chapter: 2/? Still don't know how long this is going to be, I just have so much to write ;-;

Synopsis: You're in love with your best friend Bakugou, and you're cofessing to him but things get a lot more complicated when Denki starts to treat you different *wink wink*

Word count: 1.7k

Author's note: I love friends to lovers troupe sm, this chapter and the next one gave me butterflies writing it O=w=O

Chapter 2 Do you want to die together- Stars

We walked the rest of the way talking about hero equipment and how much of a cry baby he is and about that new shojo magazine every girl (and Bakugo ofc) have been reading.

In the front door of the UA was Ochako and Tsuyu, they saw us walk together and gave me a thumbs up, I was so embarrassed that I could feel my heartbeat in my throat. Bakugo just said his usual “Tch” and kept walking, I just said “see ya” and waved. As I walked towards my friends I noticed a strange look on their faces so I asked them if there was something wrong.

-Y/N, you really like Bakugo- Said Ochako with a big grin in her face

-I mean yeah, I guess that I like him a lot- I say a bit embarrassed and a light pink flush in my cheeks

-No but, you actually love him, we can tell just by looking at you- Said Tsuyu followed by a classic Tsuyu “Kero”

-I can’t believe you haven’t made a move yet, I think he likes you back, I mean it’s Bakugo, you can never tell, but you are way too obvious, since day one- Said Ochako

“Since day one…” I think my friends knew I was falling for him way before I did, besides that I didn´t wanna admit that I had feelings for my friend.

The first one to notice was of course Tsuyu-Chan, she saw us coming out of the gym one late afternoon and I was mocking him about how ridiculous was every option he had for his hero name and Bakugo being Bakugo was angry as he can be, telling me how “an extra like me” would never get an awesome name even if it punched me in the face.

-You like him- Said Tsuyu, it wasn’t a question, and it didn’t have any rude intentions, for her it was a mere fact.

-WHAAAAT?? Fcourse not- I said blushing.

-Y/N, I’ve seen how you look at him, you even blush when he addresses you- Tsuyu said.

God, what if she’s right?

-He’s just my friend, maybe a little crush, I’m sure it’ll pass -

But it didn’t, if anything only became more painful obvious and difficult to handle, I caught myself staring at him in class, thinking about him any time I saw something spicy, every time I saw a Pomeranian my head automatically went “Bakugo”, any skull related thing had his face imprinted in my mind, every song had his drums in it, even when watching fashion shows with the girls at UA dorms made me think about his family issues. It was undeniable I was falling deeply in love with Katsuki Bakugo. I didn’t wanna ruin our friendship, so I just sucked my feelings up and keep on with our routine like I wasn´t completely captivated by everything that boy did. That was until I decided it was enough. It was now or never, the last year, I had to make my move.

That was one of the longest weeks in my whole student life, I spend most of the time avoiding any kind of contact with Bakugo, and it was obvious to everyone, I usually hang out a lot with the whole Bakusquad, but this time I just simply started walking the opposite direction every time I crossed them in the hallways.

-Are you sure you’re doing the right thing avoiding him completely? - Said Deku with a concerned look in his face

-I just don’t wanna say something stupid in front of him and have him regretting having a date with me- I replied giving a big much to my lunch

-I’m sure he thinks that anything anyone besides him say it’s stupid, so I wouldn’t worry about that Y/N- Said Shoto

-Yeah, and besides, you were the one who said that you didn’t wanna ruin your friendship, so don’t do it and just keep everything normal- Said Ochako.

Normal… Nothing will be “normal” again between us after today, in the worst scenario possible we will stop talking, our friendship will be ruined completely and there will be no turning back to how things were before; in the best, the feeling is mutual and we start dating. Dating Bakugo, I’ve pictured it a hundred times before, but now that it might happen… No, focus Y/N there is still a long way before that actually happens, first I have to survive today without throwing up all these years of butterflies in my stomach.

It’s finally the last class for today, just this last one, going back to the dorms for a quick shower and a change of clothes, and I’ll be having my first date with the boy of my dreams; but before I entered the room someone grabbed my hand and pulled me into an empty classroom, it was Denki Kaminari.

-Denki wha…- I started saying but he interrupted me abruptly

-I don´t know what I did Y/N but please talk to me again, I’m so sorry if I did or said something wrong, I’m really really sorry but please don’t ignore me like that- He said with tears in the corner of his eyes.

Me ignoring Denki? Oh shit, I didn’t thought of that when I was avoiding Bakugo, I didn’t even realized it, was so worried about don’t messing it up before today that I forgot that his friends were also my friends

-Denki I’m so sorry, you didn’t do anything wrong, it’s my fault I was so caught up with my stuff lately, I didn’t realize that I was ignoring with my friends-

He looked a little confused when I said that, he looked directly in my eyes.

-You weren’t ignoring me specifically? – He almost sounded offended

-Of course not, I guess I was being distant with everyone but you were the only one who noticed it, I’m sorry Denki- I went for a hug but he stopped me

-You don’t have to apologise Y/N, is just that I wanted to talk to you this past days but anytime I ran into you, you seemed to run away from me and I just, I don’t know, I thought you didn’t wanna be my friend anymore and I was so scared and…-

This time he didn’t stopped me and I hugged him. He put his head in my shoulder and sighed.

-I wanted to be like this for so long- He said wiping the tears in his eyes and looking away

-We should head to class, if we are late again Aizawa will kill us- I said grabbing Denki’s sleeve, but he stopped me.

- Y/N wait, I wanted to talk to you, it’s kinda important- He was as red as an apple and his eyes were fixed on his shoes.

Is Denki Kaminari confessing to me?!? I mean, yeah he has always been kind to me, and we do spend a lot of time together, and have sleepovers with mina and sero, and I go to every one of his gigs, and that box of chocolates for valentines, and those playlists, and the pinterest moodboard, and… Oh fuck, Denki Kaminari likes me. Before I could say or think anything he says:

-I have a gig next week, I know you come to every one of them, but this one is special and I would love seeing you there, not like the others weren’t special, because they were, you know how much I like when you come to see meUS! I was thinking maybe arrive a little earlier with me, to the soundcheck, I know it’s a little boring buuuuut I get really nervous if you’re not there and I just…, please come with me next week- He was clearly a handful of nerves, and knowing Denki he rehearsed that words over and over, he was so cute.

What? I could have sworn he was going to tell me something else, but a Gig? I’ve seen every performance ever since the first one at the cultural festival from first year, he didn’t have to get so nervous for that, unless there is something else he isn’t telling me, or maybe I misinterpreted all of it, maybe it was actually something special and he is afraid of asking anyone else for emotional support, yeah that makes sense, we always have been there for each other when things got tough, when he found out that Jirou was in love with Momo in first year he spend a whole week crying in my dorm, when he and Shinso broke up I had to force him to come out of his bed and act like a semi-functional human being, that was a whole semester of romantic comedy, sad music and junk food, thank god we both passed the year; it makes sense he came to me if he was feeling nervous about anything, nothing more, right?

-I would love to, Denki, I love seeing you on stage. I didn’t knew you get nervous when performing- I say with a chuckle.

-Well I usually don’t but this time I’m going to sing a song, and let me tell you, the struggle is real, have you heard Bakubro criticism? In the last rehearsal he made me cry five times-

Denki is going to sing?! OMG, usually Jirou is the one who takes the lead vocals, he just sings the harmonies, I’ve only heard him actually sing in karaoke nights, this is going to be so much fun, of course I wouldn’t miss it for anything in the world

-Yeah, Bakugo tends to be a real pain in the ass sometimes, but don’t worry I wouldn´t miss this gig for anything in the world-

-Pinky Promise? – Asked Denki with his best puppy eyes

-Pinky promise- I replied intertwining our pinky fingers and feeling a little electrical buzz

-OUCH! What was that for? – I said giving Denki a playful punch in the arm

-That was for ignoring me all week, I really missed you Y/N- And then he lean in and kissed my forehead -Now let’s go before Aizawa wakes up and see we are not in class, I don’t want to clean the common room in the dorms, again-

“And before someone sees us and thinks something wrong” I thought to myself.

************************************************

Part 3 here

OMG! I have so much fun writing this, remember if you want to be in the tag list just message me, hope you enjoy reading it as I had writing it

[rosie-are-roses]

Movie Review: Josee, the Tiger and the Fish.

Posted on September 11, 2021.

“Grandma, the world isn’t scary at all.” - Josee. 

 YO, HOLY SH*T, IT’S BEEN MORE OR LESS 4 YEARS SINCE I LAST POSTED.

God, reading my old reviews just brings me back my past memories. A lot of things has happened, and somehow my coping mechanism has kind of fully switched from writing to drawing, because I’ve became illiterate lazy and unmotivated, a lot of bad things has happened the past 4 years. I’m now on the 7th semester or final year of my college. Okay, I will stop here, no one wants to know about your pathetic and uninteresting life, writer.

So, on the very beginning of September 2021, I decided to watch Josee, the Tiger and the Fish, originally just to listen to Ao no Waltz, one of the OSTs of this movie (Please listen to it I’m begging, it’s a masterpiece: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pyDCubgU57g) my all time favorite song, sung by Eve, the Great Amazing Eve. I didn’t expect the movie to be THIS good! Why and how? I will tell you!

It’s a light melodrama movie, but once the tragedy or main conflict happened it’s kinda depressing lmao, but there’s a rainbow after rain. I cried a lot too, prepare a lot of tissues, really! Overall, my rate is 10/10, it’s REALLY worth a watch. The animation is TOP TIER (Of course, it’s Studio Bones after all, the same studio who did My Hero Academia, I was amazed throughout watching, the visuals are outstanding, the OSTs are beautiful, everything about it is stunning. Definitely in my top 5 anime movies, not higher than Spirited Away and Howl’s Moving Castle, though.

Josee, the Tiger and the Fish is an anime about the bond between a marine biology student and a (disabled) paraplegic women. It is directed by Kotaro Tamura from a screenplay by Sayaka Kuwamura, with original character designs by Nao Emoto, released on big screen on December 25, 2020.

That’s Josee! Pretty, right? TMI: I LOVE her voice, kudos to whoever her voice actress is. (It’s Kaya Kiyohara, by the way.)

Josee, paraplegic from born, on a wheelchair since born, never really came out from her house because her grandmother always told her that the world is a scary place, so for a 24 years old, she has a pretty childish and spoiled personality. She’s beyond demanding, but Tsuneo never lost his patience dealing with her (Yo, that’s a good husband material right there.), he has always been so supporting to Josee. Tsuneo, a final year marine biology student who dreams of studying abroad and diving in tropical waters, (He is struggling with part-time jobs and final research paper, and I can relate! Because I’m also struggling with internship and college final project!), he is a dream student and husband, he has good grades, he also got a scholarship study abroad in Mexico. His job is also going pretty fine. He has nice and supportive friends. 

Sounds nice right? 

Until he got run over a girl on a a wheelchair who lost control over it, freefalling on a downhill road. Don’t worry, they both are fine, no injuries and such. And kids, that’s how I met your father. That was their first meeting. Tsuneo offered to walk her home because as he should! You men has to have basic manner! After reaching Josee’s home, he was greeted by Josee’s grandmother, Kumiko, her one and only guardian, and was offered a dinner. Josee couldn’t refuse and decided to take her offer. They had a good dinner, but Josee doesn’t like him, she talks to Tsuneo in a rude tone so Tsuneo wondered what is wrong with this girl?! 

Anyway, Tsuneo shared that he is struggling to find another job to pay his bills, so grandma Kumiko offered him a well-paid job, and that is to babysit be Josee’s servant, who has to accompany her and listen to all of her demands. Josee is really demanding, so it was a tiring job for Tsuneo. He kept ranting to his friends at work, Mai and Hayato, that he couldn’t stand Josee!

One day, Josee felt the need to go out and go to places, she needed to see the outside world inside of being trapped in her room full of drawings about oceans. She wanted to see the ocean, so they made sure grandma Kumiko was sleeping and quietly took Josee outside. They went to many places together. The aquarium, the zoo, the recreation park, and had so much fun. She went to the ocean and felt the saltiness of the ocean water because she never got to experience it since both of her parents died. She has always been stuck drawing in her room, only imagining what is it like outside, is it really scary like her grandma described? Turns out it isn’t like that at all.

That until a really depressing tragedy happened to both Josee and Tsuneo (What is it? I won’t give any spoilers.) It’s so depressing that Mai, one of Tsuneo’s friends who got a crush on Tsuneo (Let’s be real, who wouldn’t.) told Josee to stay away from Tsuneo and free him, because since Josee came into his life, his peaceful life has went downhill. Josee was a pretty selfish girl, I must say. But there’s always a room for development and change, right?  All of you will find her annoying in the beginning and maybe until the end, but she got a good character development in the end. I can’t decide if I want to have a Tsuneo or Josee, both are good characters.

Then how did Tsuneo fall in love with Josee? You’ll have to find it out by watching it, the movie is available on Netflix.

This movie basically tells you to go on with life and not give up after falling into the deepest pit of nightmares, to still have and chase your dreams despite having limitations. It’s so healing and heart-warming to watch on a pandemic like this. Tsuneo is such a patient, good and loyal man. Josee, an inspiring and tough women. Both suits each other, I’d say. (Although I was team Mai at first.) They both inspire and support each other to live their dreams, a sweet heart-warming love story.

Not to mention, the OSTs are sung by The Great Eve: please give Shinkai and Ao No Waltz a listen, it’s my top 2 favorite Eve music, I always listen to it whenever I’m sad, I was at a war with myself and found peace on these songs.

So, what are you waiting for! Go watch it!

[maybedefinitely404]

Day 5: Logicality

@tsshipmonth2020

Day 5 - Any intense emotions your soulmate feels you will also experience.

Content Warning: strong emotion (duh), yelling, food mentions (one line).

Word count: 1.8k

He remembered back in high school, when things had gotten rough for him. Not that they had a reason to. Virgil had told him countless times that it was okay that he didn’t have a reason, he was allowed to feel sad just because, but his childhood friend’s words meant nothing during the times he was curled up on his bed at three am with a black hole in his chest, quietly sobbing apologies to the soulmate that could certainly feel his sadness as intensely as he did. If it was just him suffering, it wouldn’t have been so bad. 

When university began, and his mental health began to improve, Patton was giddy. It took him a few months to adjust to missing his family, getting used to the crowded dorms, and the increased pressure of classes. Except now the classes were about things he really enjoyed, clearly pushing him forward in his Psychology career, and the people were so much nicer than in highschool. Bullies didn’t really… exist in college, not the way they did back there, and he found himself flourishing. 

But now, no longer constantly focused on his mental health and that alone, a part of him, deep inside, was a little bit worried that he didn’t even have a soulmate. He never really felt the strong emotions his friends claimed to feel, emotions clearly detached from them but oh so real. Virgil was privy to spurts of pure courage, almost ecstasy, that would have him jumping off his bed to pace on the floor with a huge grin stretched across his face, trying to dispel the energy. Janus, a friend he made in one of his psych classes, sometimes talked about the negative emotions he got from his soulmate, the surges of hatred and bitterness that made him curl his slender fingers around the nearest object until it snapped or his fingers cramped up. The borrowed emotion, both good and bad, were something Patton hadn’t experienced yet, and the implications of that frightened him. He wanted a soulmate so badly… he would be crushed if he didn’t have one.

These were the thoughts rushing through his mind as the three of them walked into Philosophy 109, Virgil and Janus having an animated conversation about last classes homework. Something about Karl Marx; he wasn’t sure what they were torn about, exactly. He always had a tough time listening in this class, not due to the content of the lectures, but just because something about the prof set him on edge. Virgil offered that ‘his voice is kind of irritating’ and Janus pitched in that ‘his slides are always sloppy’, but none of that was quite… it. It wasn’t anything he could put a finger on, but just walking into the classroom had him stewing slightly. 

Just as Janus was seemingly reaching the peak of his arguments, hands waving wildly, Virgil dug his elbow into Patton’s ribs.

“Hey, did you want to get dinner after class or wait until before English?”

The elbow in his side hurt, and before he realized what he was doing, Patton had shoved Virgil off of him. The shorter man stumbled, nearly knocking into the professor that had just walked into the room before catching his balance. His brows furrowed.

“Dude, you good?” 

Patton’s eyes widened, almost comically, “Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry. I don’t know where that came from. Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Virgil glanced at Janus, who merely shrugged, “Class is about to start.” He gestured meekly at their usual table and they sat, Patton taking the aisle spot before Janus could. Another look was shared between the other two. Patton was usually overly eager to sit in the middle, giggling at Virgil’s snarky notes and stealing Janus’ snacks, but right now he felt on edge. Defensive. Angry. 

Huh- that was new.

His leg shook under the table as the professor greeted the class, nearly knocking Virgil’s travel mug off the table if it weren’t for his quick reflexes. He was running frantically through his mind, trying to find the trigger that had caused his anger. The day so far had been nothing unusual; morning classes and lunch at the cafeteria (grilled cheese, heck yeah), study session with the dorm in the lawn outside his building. Nothing had gone wrong, and even if this prof wasn’t his favorite, it wasn’t anything he couldn't get over so why-

Oh.

Somewhere in the back of his mind, it occurred to him that these weren’t his feelings. This wasn’t him. And that thought alone should have snapped him out of it, should have made him jump up and dance on the table because oh my goodness he actually has a soulmate, his worries were for nothing!

Except he couldn’t. Virgil’s concerned glances were increasing in frequency as his pen dug into his paper, trying his hardest to concentrate on the lecture over the raging blood in his ears. His teeth hurt, and he realized he was clenching his jaw hard enough to bite through rock. His leg still jittered, his notes were becoming more sloppy, and for the love of god, if this prof doesn’t stop talking I’m going to-

“WILL YOU SHUT THE HELL UP ALREADY?”

At first, Patton thought he was the one who said it. His note paper had been ripped from his notebook, crumpled beneath his fist, and Virgil and Janus sure both looked shocked enough. But then the voice continued, coming from the back of the class.

“You’re a terrible professor, are you aware of that?! Did you get your teaching degree from a fucking Dollar Store?! I’m surprised you graduated middle school, you half-witted, socially insensitive, entitled, piece of-”

“Mr. Starr, out of my classroom! Now!” The prof bellowed, causing Virgil to shrink into his hoodie. The man flew past the three of them, slamming the door behind him. Patton didn’t even realize he was following him, water bottle in hand, until the prof tried to call him back to his seat, which he ignored. 

That was his soulmate, he was sure of it. 

By the time he was standing in the empty hallway, his rage had started to calm down. His hand was starting to unfurl, leaving red crescents in his palms from his nails, but he could still feel the simmering anger rolling and lapping at his insides. Curling around his stomach, pushing at his heart, twisting in his fingertips like a flag in a gentle wind. 

A slam down the hallway reminded Patton of what he’d set out to do, and he took off after the sound, hoping and praying that he wouldn’t lose the man he was chasing. After that freak-out, he wouldn’t be surprised if the man dropped the class, since he obviously hated the prof so much. And he didn’t get a good enough look at him, so if he lost him now, who’s to say when he would find him again? 

Patton exited the building, assuming this was the door he’d heard a moment ago, panting slightly. He surveyed the parking lot desperately, the lawn surrounding the building, the walkways leading across the campus like vines, and… yes! There he was, standing against one of the trees, head tucked to his chest, hands shoved into his pockets almost aggressively. 

This is stupid, what are you even going to say? He pondered as he crossed the grass quickly, sizing up the man in front of him. Black button up, blue jeans, hair pushed out of his face, and Patton was reminded of just how gay he was. This man was gorgeous, in an I-could-kill-you kind of way. 

He didn’t acknowledge Patton as he approached, but he could see the man watching him out of the corner of his eye suspiciously. Wordlessly, Patton handed him the bottle of water, trying to hide a smile when he took it hesitantly, popping the top off and taking a sip.

“Thank you.”

“No problem,” Patton squeaked, taking it back when he was done.

“I didn’t expect anyone to follow me.”

“Well…” He gestured to himself lightly, giggling, “I’m here.”

The man stood his ground, seemingly uncomfortable with the attention, “You don’t have to stay. I wouldn’t want you to fall behind.”

“Nonsense!” Patton grinned, “I’ll just steal a friend’s notes. Plus, I’m sure you need someone to talk to.”

“I don’t want to bother you-”

“I’m not bothered! I’m serious. Sit down.” Patton gestured at the ground, flopping down onto the lawn. He looked at him warily, like he was weighing the pros and cons in his head, before joining him, leaning against the tree.

“I’m Patton, by the way.”

“Logan.” 

“Nice to meet ya, Logan! So, why d'ya scream at Jacobson like that?” He said it lightly, but he didn’t miss the slight wince from the other. 

“I’m sorry you had to see that. I’m not generally one to lose my temper. It’s just…” He looked like he wanted to apologize more, stop talking, like he was being a nuisance. Patton gave him what he hoped was a reassuring smile and a nod, which seemed to be enough to spur the other on.

 “I can’t stand him. He injects his own philosophies and values into the concepts we’re studying, and it muddles the main ideologies to the point where it’s hardly about the original topic anymore. It’s as if he’s teaching a course on himself.”

“Why don’t you just drop it?” He hadn’t meant it to sound so cutting, but if Logan was bothered, he didn’t show it in the small shake of his head.

“I need the credit. And by the time I realized how flawed his lessons are, it was past the drop date. I didn’t have time to fill out the paperwork, so I figured I’d muscle through it.”

“Well… it is half way through the semester, so you did pretty good.”

He murmured something under his breath that Patton didn’t catch, something that sounded suspiciously like ‘not good enough’, before looking up to meet Patton’s eyes for the first time. Boy oh boy, if Patton hadn’t been able to breathe before, he was fairly certain he would die at this point. 

“Why did you follow me?”

It was at that point that it occurred to Patton: he had no proof. Sure, the rise and peak of his mysterious anger coincided perfectly with Logan’s outburst, but if their interaction so far was anything to go by, this guy wouldn’t fully trust something that wasn’t one hundred percent factual. Claiming to be his soulmate might just scare him away, and for all that was good and holy, Patton didn’t want that to happen. So… he’d waited nineteen years to meet his soulmate, he could take it slow. Bring up his history with depression, the emotions that Logan must have felt at the same time, and maybe, hopefully, let him come to his own conclusions. He wasn’t in a rush.

“I just thought you might want a friend.”

[random-imagines-blog]

Promise Me {Reggie Mantle One Shot}

Requested by: @13reasonswhystan Wordcount: 3292 Summary: After your bad break up with Sweet Pea, Reggie Mantle tries to get your attention.

You’ve been in bar brawls at the White Wyrm, you’ve been in fights at Riverdale High School - but no bruise, cut or bone break hurt more than the betrayal that you had at the hands of your best friend and boyfriend, Sweet-Pea. It felt even worse because you liked Josie, after having seen her perform a couple of times. She was a sweet girl, a very pretty girl, both things you felt like you weren’t. You were just y/n Jones, sister of the highly inquisitive and weird Jughead and daughter of the King of the Snakes. That earned you the nickname Snakling, though you hated it. It sounded like a cross between a snake and a duckling which was some Griffons and Gargoyles type shit. Add that onto the fact that you were best friends with Toni Topaz - all anyone thought of you was 'Snake’. What they didn’t know was that you had a heart underneath the hard exterior and now it was shattered. 

“Oh wow, the snakling emerged without her boyfriend!” Reggie Mantle, the loudmouth of Riverdale High said on the first day back to school after Summer. You didn’t retort - he was never worth your time. You continued to walk past him and to your locker, which unfortunately wasn’t that far from where he was standing, right by the prime vending machine. There goes your chance of having a bag of chips for breakfast. He didn’t follow that up with anything, which was slightly surprising. After you got your locker open and started to replace your old books with your new ones, you peeked over at the football player. He was staring past you, down the hallway.

Josie McCoy was walking into the hallway, wearing a cute little sundress, her curls perfectly bouncy and all. And beside her was Sweet Pea, who kept his eyes down on his feet. Clearly he was trying to avoid you. The two of you haven’t had a conversation since you had caught him with the pretty dark girl, and had just straight up said that it was over between the two of you. You felt like there was nothing more for you to say apart from that. But though you had no words for him, you had a certain finger that you wanted to wave in his direction.

You slammed your locker door shut, making a couple of other students jump because of how loud the impact was. You performed the role of the angry ex perfectly. Even Reggie didn’t dare to say anything as you walked past him towards your first class of the semester, but looked from the new couple over to you with confusion and finally with understanding. His eyes narrowed at Sweet Pea, though no one noticed this motion.

“Y/N, can we talk?” Josie asked from the end of the hall before you disappeared into the classroom. You didn’t stop, not even for a second. God, it hurt even more because she was just so nice. You would have preferred her to be bitchy or smug or anything other than the sweetheart that she was. It would have been much easier to hate her.

“We can but we won’t,” You shut her down. “Unless you’ve been living under a rock this whole time, you might have noticed that we’re not friends.”

“You should hear her out-” Archie said from across the hallway. You rolled your eyes at him - the redhead always intruded on everyone else’s business.

“Do I look like I wear a stupid hat and listen to you?” You shot back, making Reggie grin. “I’m not my brother, so you don’t get to tell me what I should and should not do.”

“Y/N...” Sweet Pea said with a frown. He truly didn’t mean to hurt you, that much was obvious, but you weren’t in the mood for dealing with his guilt. He dug his own grave.

You took your cellphone out of your pocket. The cellphone with the pictures of the both of you, the cute text messages, the phone case that he ordered for you online. You let it drop to the floor and stomped on it with your boot. “Oh look, deleted our history. Feel free to pretend we never happened. I know I will.”

There were looks of shock from other students as you walked into the classroom, kicking away the remnants of your cellphone. You weren’t exactly well off and it would be hard to get a new phone but that felt damn good. You kept up the tough exterior until you were at your desk by the window, turned your head to gaze out at the sunny day, and let out a groan you were holding in. This year was going to be fucking tough.

-

You weren’t in a rush to get a new phone. There wasn’t anyone that you really wanted to talk to. Toni, your best friend, was busy with Cheryl all of the time, and Fangs was glued by Sweet Pea’s side at all times. Instead, you used a small amount of money to buy a tape recorder, and you recorded all of your classes so that you could doze off, then listen to the lecture back later. You needed an education if you were going to get the hell out of Riverdale like your mother did.

A strange effect of your breakup with Sweet Pea was Reggie Mantle. Ever since your public dispute with Josie McCoy, everyone knew what had happened. And most people took the young musician’s side, if there were sides to join. You had a reputation for being a hardass, for being unfeeling, for being intimidating. You guessed it didn’t surprise them that your boyfriend, someone who was supposed to love you through all of that, would choose someone who poured out her emotions through music and stupid little cat ears. But Reggie actually seemed to take this opportunity to get closer to you. It started slow, such as him calling out flirtatious things as you walked past his vending machine. Then the words took on actions as he’d walk beside you to class, despite not having the same schedule. You didn’t encourage this behavior, and didn’t talk to him much, but his presence was actually somewhat comforting during these lonely times.

Just because you weren’t particularly fond of him, didn’t mean that you didn’t think he was extremely hot.

“It’s my birthday next week,” Reggie said, joining you on your way to your first class after you switched out your books in your locker. “I was thinking after football practice of going to Nuit Blanche for a drink, and I want you with me.”

“Are you asking me, or telling me?” You asked, in your usual flat tone. He was surprised to actually get a response, but extremely pleased. His million watt smile was saved for this occasion.

“Both.”

“Then I’m saying no, and don’t tell me what to do,” You brushed him off, walking faster and disapparing into the classroom. Reggie stood where you had left him, his smile somewhat fading. It was very rare that a woman challenged him like this but damn, he was kind of into it. He walked faster to the classroom and stood in the doorway, leaning against it, giving you his best smoldering expression.

“Then you decide what we do. I’m putty in your hands,” He winked.

Half of you wanted to groan, but the other half of you was flattered. In order to keep up your facade, you smirked, looking him up and down. “We’ll see how much you can handle being stretched apart, boy.”

-

There were way too many people invested in seeing what you had planned for Reggie’s birthday. The fact that you had said yes to planning it was a surprise to a lot of people, considering how different you and the Riverdale Playboy were. When Reggie went to his usual spot in the morning to talk to his football friends and get presents from the adoring cheerleaders, there was a bigger crowd than usual. It was his birthday, but it was you getting all of the attention! The fact that you didn’t even show up and a quarter of the school were late to their first classes made it all the more interesting, and frustrating to Reggie.

When lunch time came around, you still didn’t show up. Reggie’s mood was getting worse and worse, and he was snapping at anyone who even asked about you at this point. He sat with the rest of his football team in the cafeteria, and was tearing his way through the shitty sandwich that he had bought but wasn’t all that hungry for. He felt like you had really let him down, and nobody did that to Reggie Mantle.

He was just about to take another bite of his sandwich when a hand went on his shoulder and pulled him off of his chair onto the ground. The cafeteria went silent as he hopped back onto his feet and turned to face Sweet Pea. The two of them never got along, but there was a lot more tension since the first day back. “What sort of game are you playing with her?” The serpent hissed.

“You’re one to talk about games, player,” Reggie shoved the serpent away from him. “She’s none of your goddamn business anymore.”

“Okay guys, let’s take a breath-” Jughead attempted to get between the two of them. “She’s nobody’s business.”

He was ignored, and pushed out of the way by the two bigger teenagers. “If I hear you’re going after her because you think you can be some sort of rebound...” Sweet Pea said, speaking slowly to give himself time to think of something to threaten him with.

“Who is the one who left her that way, huh?” Reggie said, remaining cool, and smug. “I can’t wait to see what she has planned for my birthday. See how far I can stretch, she said.”

That made Sweet-Pea see red. He pulled back his fist and was getting prepared to punch Reggie in the face, but Jughead managed to grab hold of it and bring him down. “Cut it out Sweet Pea. You messed up. Just let it go.”

“Just let it go,” Reggie repeated, pushing on Sweet Pea’s shoulder once more, and laughed when the Serpent stormed off, out of the cafeteria.

After class, he went straight to Football practice, which was a good place to let out the frustration that he was holding. Padded up, he ran straight into the heavy dummies that were supposed to represent the other team, slamming it down onto the ground. A whistle blew and he got back up onto his feet and started to set it right, when his eye caught on a form sitting on the bleachers. Not many people came to watch the practices, so you stood out like a sore thumb. When your eyes caught, you gave him a subtle nod, which he returned with a wink. When he turned around to go back to the starting line, he was grinning again, all of his doubts disappeared. As if anyone would give up the chance to spend time with him, especially on his birthday. He could have asked any one of the cheerleaders or the other girls in school and they would have latched onto him all day, but the fact that it was you who was here made it special. You were out of place here, but you still came. That meant more than he would ever express.

“Knew you couldn’t resist,” He said, walking over to the bleachers once the practice was done. He took his helmet off and ran his fingers through his dark hair, knowing that he looked damn good. But he didn’t get a reaction out of you. You weren’t the swooning type but come on - not even a giggle? Not a blush?

“I’m only bringing you out tonight because I have no one else,” You said with a shrug. “Jughead’s always with the blonde, and Toni is with the redhead. They both apparently need to bone all the time so I’m on my own.”

“Did you seriously just say bone?” Reggie asked, raising an eyebrow, ignoring the first thing that you said since it didn’t match his confidence.

“Bone, bone, bone,” You repeated, straight faced. “Also, I heard that you almost fought my asshole ex boyfriend in the cafeteria today.”

“Almost,” He said, that grin coming back. “But he wasn’t worth it, so I let him go.”

You nearly snorted, getting onto your feet. “You should have punched him right in the nose, I’d say it’s worth it,” You shrugged. “Go shower and get dressed, I’ll meet you in the parking lot.”

“What are we doing?”

“Oh Reggie, you’re going to get stretched in ways you never dreamed of.”

-

Okay, so Reggie put up with riding bitch on the back of your bike. He didn’t like it, but he strapped on the helmet and he held onto your waist, which was the only good part of it. He put up with leaving his car behind in the parking lot of Riverdale High, though he didn’t trust that it would be safe when he got back. He put up with the fact that you raced past two counties to get to a third.

But asking him to come inside of the obviously gay nightclub? On his birthday of all nights?

“For the record, this is not what I thought you had planned.”

“I know,” You said, crossing your arms in front of your chest as you looked up at the neon lights. “But your idea was stupid.” Before he could say anything to protest that, you continued. “Veronica’s speakeasy? Where McCoy performs all of the time? You can be an asshole sometimes Reggie, but even suggesting that was too much.”

“What about your shitty Southside Bar then?” He asked, trying to find an excuse to get out of this.

“Sweet Pea,” You concluded as if it should have been obvious. “It’s drag night, so no one will even pay attention to us. But if you’re scared, I’ll take you back to the safety of Riverdale.”

Reggie knew that it was a challenge, and that your teasing was just to get him to go along with the plan, but still, the word scared was an affront to his pride. “Oh, I’m not scared,” He assured. “Just promise me one thing.”

“What’s that?”

“You won’t get too jealous when I have the Queens all over me,” He smirked, adapting his attitude to the situation.

“I’ll try to restrain myself,” You said, going ahead and opening the doors. Inside was very high-energy, with neon colored lights just about everywhere. Music was playing loudly from a stage, where a drag queen was doing her act, lipsyncing to Rhianna’s ‘Bitch Better Have My Money’ and doing a damn good job of it too. You waved at the bartender, then went to one of the tables near the back.

“Do you come here often?” Reggie asked, noting how the bartender had waved back.

“Once in a while,” You admitted. “It’s my safe space, away from the Serpents. None of them would ever dare come here.”

“I can see why,” Reggie said, looking around. There was no way that any of the North Siders would be here either. He thought about just leaving out the door and calling for a ride home but you got back to your feet.

“I’ll get our drinks,” You said, leaving before Reggie could even tell you what he wanted. The bar could be in big trouble for having a couple of minors here, but they were at least wise enough to not give you alcohol. Instead, they gave you virgin cocktails that had the full flavors that you liked, and were sugary and fizzy enough to give you a rush that was close to alcohol. You came back with two tall glasses filled with a purple liquid. “Just try it. As much fun as it would be to torture you, even I wouldn’t do that on your birthday.”

Reggie eyed you but then took a sip of the drink. It tasted almost like blue raspberry, but with some sort of soda added. “It’s not bad,” He admitted. You showed him a true smile, one that you didn’t show many people. It made you look like a whole different person, he realized. He liked the person that you were when you smiled. And it was all the more special because it was just for him.

“Drink up, then we’ll dance. I can’t guarantee that one of the beautiful Queens won’t flirt with you or feel you up but ... I have the feeling you won’t mind.”

Reggie laughed and took another sip of his drink. “The more the merrier.”

-

Reggie had never seen anyone so beautiful in his entire life. You weren’t trying to be sexy like all the other girls that he’s danced with. You were having fun, and bouncing along and moving, and not caring what anyone thought. But there still seemed to be a shy look to your eyes when they met his. The lights that were going all over the place made him feel a bit dizzy, like he had stars caught on his pupils.

The way that you interacted with the drag queens and the others in the bar was unlike a side of you that he had ever seen. You were softer, you were giving out compliments, and hugs, and love and just positivity. He liked your snarky self of course, and this was still you but ... it was hard for him to grasp. You  were not at all like anyone that he knew. You were in a league of your damn own.

After a couple of hours, you two stumbled out after last call. There was no alcohol in either of your veins, but you still had the giggles as if you were tipsy. That much sugar could do it to a person. “Promise me something, Reg,” You said, letting him put his arm around you to keep you warm on the way back to your bike.

“What’s that?” He asked, taking in the cool night air and the feeling of you wrapped up beneath his football jacket. “That you’ll never hurt me the way that Sweet Pea did,” You asked, looking at him, staring right into his eyes. “Because I might have to take off your clothes and throw you to the Queens if you do.”

“I promise,” Reggie said without the slightest hesitation. You both got to your bike and he was about to put his helmet on when a question came to him. “Why not do that with Asshole Pea?”

You laughed at the nickname, and how almost dirty it sounded. “As if I would ever want him to know about this place. It is, or was, my little secret. Guess it’s ours now.”

You winked then put your own helmet on. Reggie did the same, put his legs around the bike, then held onto you as you started back towards Riverdale.

Ours now - he really liked the sound of that.

[born-to-strange-sights]

Waif/🐶 and King Adolphus/👑?

1. “Waif/🐶: If you could shapeshift into anything, what would it be?”

Hmmmmmmmm well I often bemoan that I am not a simply a ridiculously content house cat living with an adoring family (a wish often voiced aloud as a fond yet jealous remark towards my own cat) so I think that would be just the ticket for me. Well... actually nah, that’s more of a ‘swap lives’ situation....... for shapesifting only, if I could only choose one animal, I think a would say, believe it or not, a pigeon. Very sneaky. They can fly, not a ton of natural predators in a city setting, and are extremely common. The perfect spying animal. Bonus: theyre the perfect balance of both pretty and stupid-looking which matches my countenance quite well. Absolutely primo for living a double-life — because, if you could shapeshift, I think it’s fair to say that you would have one. Or wait!! actually a crow... i feel that has a little more dignity while retaining all those other aforementioned benefits of being a pigeon. Yeah. A crow. Locking in that answer *buzz*

2. “King Adolphus/👑: What is your favorite kind of sweet/pastry?”

Ooh. This is tough. I was considering saying the cranberry scones from Breadsmith or just a good old chocolate croissant. But I have to say that sfogliatelle have a rather special, sentimental place in my heart. They’re an Italian pastry that originated in Naples. They look like this:

They are EXTREMELY crunchy and layer-y (the pastry is very hard, brittle and papery, in a good/interesting way), and are usually filled with ricotta that has been flavored with cinnamon and orange (and sometimes bits of candied/dried fruit). Heavenly.

I have been extremely fortunate to have visited Italy twice — Once several years ago for a week as a high school trip, and once last year for a month on a gap semester, right before the pandemic really started hitting (it was actually exactly one year ago today that I got told I had to leave a month early; I was supposed to be there two months). On the school trip, we stopped in Naples very briefly on the last day, and our lovely tour guide surprised us all by spontaneously buying all of us sfogliatelle from a nearby food truck. I had never had anything quite like it before... it was SO good. I was so enchanted that I got another one at the airport later that day, thinking it might be very a long time until I could have another.

Then, during my gap semester in Rome, I was thrilled to discover that they were sold in many cafes there as well. The school was about two blocks from the Pantheon... many days during break between classes, I would walk over, grab an espresso and a sfogliatella from the Cafè Tazzo d’Oro, and sit on the fountain steps, contemplating the temple of all gods, and crunching down on shatteringly-crisp layers of pastry. I was in heaven. I’ll never forget that time.

I have since discovered that this very beloved Italian trattoria-style restaurant in downtown St. Paul called Cossetta’s sells them in their pastry shop. We’ve gone there all my life and I’d never noticed that they had then until my dad took me there on my birthday last year to pick up a cake and he let me pick a pastry of my own as well. Sfogliatelle are kind of hard to come by, so I was absolutely over the moon when I saw a tray of them hidden away in a case full of the more neglected, simpler, less flashy pastries and cookies. I split it with my dad and he split his espresso with me... and for a second, it almost felt like I was back in Rome. That was such a lovely birthday.

(here’s the pastry shop btw. makes me feel just a lil bby bit like I’m at Cesari’s:)

[lnc2]

baby please (come home)

Summary: It’s the first Christmas after Hawkmoth’s defeat and Adrien is struggling without his lady.

A/N: This is an @mlsecretsanta​ gift for @dailyplagg who requested ladrien.  I hope you like it!

AO3

The words bah humbug never had a place in Adrien’s vocabulary.  But as he hit the snooze on yet another alarm he felt he was as close as he ever would be to sympathizing with its originator.

Ebenezer Scrooge had nothing on him.

Adrien didn’t need corporeal manifestations of the past to haunt him into the holiday spirit. He had enough ghosts hanging around as it was.  His father’s empty house, his father’s empty chair. He was used to missing his mother this time of year but burying her in the spring reopened old wounds.

Reporters stopped calling months ago but Adrien still saw the occasional photographer in the bushes across the street.  No amount of quiet menacing from the Gorilla could keep them all away but then again who could resist the tragic son of a convicted terrorist?

Not the tabloids. 

The first few weeks were the worst.

The shock, the pity, the speculation. 

The trial.

Adrien didn’t think he would ever be able to explain just exactly how it felt to testify against his father, not once, but twice.  The press was quick to point out how somber Chat Noir was in those days, unable to muster a smile even for his lady.

His lady.  

Hah.

His third and final ghost sat like a weight on his chest, an ache in his hand, a phantom limb.  She’d never understood why Hawkmoth’s reveal had rattled Chat Noir as much as it had, but she’d rarely spent a night away from him in the beginning.  His days were filled dodging reporters and hiding out with well meaning friends like Nino and Kagami and Marinette while his evenings were spent racing across rooftops with his partner who didn’t know his reasons but knew his hurt.

Until she left.

“Just for the semester,” She’d assured him, quickly taking his hand in her own as they ignored the city laid out before them in favor of each other’s eyes.  It had been that way for a while now, long enough for Adrien to hope that maybe his lady was finally his lady.  A fledgling desire that was quashed the instant she told him she was leaving.

“I have an opportunity… I can’t turn it down.”

Adrien understood.  He did. Even if his heart didn’t quite believe her when she said,

“I’m not abandoning you.”

But the last thing he wanted to do was hold her back.  Wherever it was Ladybug was going, whatever it was that was taking her away from him, well, she deserved it.  Paris was safe now. He knew she was in university like him. She couldn’t keep her life on hold forever.

But that didn’t mean he didn’t miss her.

Some nights he’d wonder where she’d gone, who she was seeing, what she was doing.  If she were happy, if she would stay.  

If she were thinking of him.  

Those last thoughts sent him into a melancholy spiral that even Plagg couldn’t pull him out of.

And as the days turned into weeks into months, he found himself sinking further into his despair.  His therapist, an Alya-Nino-Marinette intervention insistence, told him it was only natural to feel low as the holidays drew near.

“After all,” She’d said, fixing him with the best earnest, non-judgemental glare money could buy. “You’re coming up on some big anniversaries.”

The happiest time of year indeed.

Sighing, he snuggled deeper beneath his covers, ignoring his alarm as it once again filled the room.  Plagg would take care of it when he was irritated enough- right now Adrien couldn’t muster up the energy to reach across the bed.

Maybe he should just skip the party tonight.

Even as that tempting thought crossed his mind he knew it was a nonstarter.  Nino would skin him alive if he bothered sending the sorry bro i’m just not up for it text he was already mentally drafting.

“It won’t be the same without you,” His friend had said when Adrien tried to reject the initial invitation. “Don’t bail on us at Christmas. Between you and Marinette the group has been pretty small lately.”

Nino wasn’t wrong.

Audrey Bourgeois had offered Marinette another opportunity to intern with her in New York and this time she’d accepted.  It had been tough, missing not just one but two of his closest friends these last few months. But Marinette had been in constant contact through group chats, instagram, and on one particularly rough night three weeks back, a two hour long phone call to talk him down from a panic attack.

At the time she was the only one who would answer her phone but in the end Adrien found she was exactly who he’d needed to talk him down.  He’d panicked later, texting her apology after apology, but her long string of emojis and all caps insistence that that’s what she was there for went a long way to easing his guilt.  Still, he was dying to thank her in person.

But Marinette wasn’t due back in Paris until after the New Year.  Making it that much harder for Adrien to drag himself out of bed and into the shower so he wouldn’t be late.

“Do I even need to shower, Plagg?”

His kwami gave him a sniff.

“You smell great to me.”

A shower it is.

Groaning Adrien rolled himself to his feet and shuffled off to the bathroom.  If he hurried he could still meet Nino at Alya’s place before they left for the bar.

It was hard to leave once he got there though and he found himself lingering under the hot water.  If he hadn’t given the Gorilla the week off he might have asked him to drive him over but as it was his best bet was probably taking a cab. Bribing Plagg to transform was always an option but with Ladybug out of the city Chat Noir was making fewer and fewer appearances.  Transforming tonight was guaranteed to attract attention, which was the last thing he wanted these days.

Resigning himself to a cab and a stranger’s curious stares, Adrien stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around his waist. At this rate he was going to have to meet his friends at the party.  He stepped out of the bathroom to grab his phone and update Nino only to stop short.

Ladybug was sitting on the edge of his bed.  She was kicking her feet together, agitated, as she stared down at her fidgeting hands.  Her hair was longer and pulled into a ponytail but she was otherwise the same as he’d last seen her yoyoing off into the fading summer sunset.

Something like a whine escaped his throat and her head snapped up.

“Adrien!” She squeaked, jumping to her feet.  “I– you– oh .” Ladybug’s face flushed pink and her eyes roamed over him once, twice, before resting firmly on his forehead.  “Your w-window was open so I…” She gave a jerky wave. Adrien glanced towards his windows and then back to her, not entirely believing she was actually here.

“ Lady- bug?” He said, voice cracking on the second syllable.  Her eyes, blue and familiar and dear, flicked down to his.  She bit her lip, a nervous habit he didn’t know he missed, and nodded.

Something tight and painful eased in his chest.

“I thought you left Paris.”

Ladybug’s smile was too sad, eyes too knowing when she said 

“I came back early.”

“Oh.” His hand found the back of his neck and he gripped it tight to keep himself from reaching towards her. “When…?”

“My plane got in an hour ago.”

“I see.” He said, not seeing at all. How heres and why mes flooded his thoughts but before he could even begin to give them voice Ladybug shifted, averting her gaze away from his.

“I didn’t mean to catch you at a bad time.”

It took him another moment to realize he was still wrapped only in a towel.  Adrien yelped and crossed his arms over his chest only to scramble back to grip the towel again as it threatened to slip down his hips.

Oh god this isn’t happening.

“I– can I have a moment?”

Ladybug nodded, eyes focused somewhere above his head, and Adrien rushed to his closet to pull on the first set of clothes he could find.  It wasn’t until he was already running back to her that he realized he’d pulled on the red and black Christmas sweater Nino bought for him as a joke.  The sweater was a monstrosity that read Jingle Bug in bright gold letters with every black spot adorned with a matching gold bell.  Adrien loved it when he unwrapped it but wearing it for his friends and wearing it for his lady were two entirely different things.

Horror filled him as he jingled back to her. 

Ladybug’s lips twitched.

“Please don’t,” Adrien groaned, running his hands through his hair.  “It was a gift from a friend.”

She giggled, shoulders shaking with poorly suppressed laughter and even though it was at his expense, Adrien’s heart flipped at the sound.

How many months had it been since he’d heard her laugh?

“I missed that,” He said, smiling softly.

Ladybug’s eyes sparkled in the overhead lights as she met his smile with her own.  It wasn’t until the silence stretched between them that he realized there was something wrong with this picture.

“What– um,” He coughed, blushed.  Tried again. “What are you doing here?”

Ladybug’s smile fell and he rushed on.

“Not that I’m not happy to see you.  Because I am. Happy, that is. But, um… why...” me?  He swallowed. “Why here?”

It’s not like they’d never spoken before.  Adrien found himself caught up in several akuma attacks over the years, unable to transform and rescued by his lady. And even after his father… well, after , Ladybug made it a point to stop by every once and a while to check on him.  More so in the early days, when the press and police and speculation about his own possible involvement in Hawkmoth’s schemes were under scrutiny, but still.  It wasn’t completely out of the question that she would drop in on a random evening.

Just not like tonight.

Even in his wildest daydreams, he couldn’t delude himself into thinking Adrien Agreste was so important to Ladybug that she’d be his first stop on her return to Paris.  Not before checking in with friends and family. Not before checking in with Chat .

Adrien’s heart beat an unsteady tattoo as he searched his partner’s face.  Ladybug’s eyes were soft, her smile kind as she reached forward and took his hand in hers.

“I heard you needed me.”

Always.

The word, fierce and quick, stuck in his throat.  It’s what he wanted to say. It’s what Chat Noir would say.

Adrien could only tremble as she entwined their fingers together.

“I’m just sorry it took me so long to get here.”

“My–” He stopped, his hand squeezing hers tight.  Her figure blurred behind the tears in his eyes and he was horrified to find some had already escaped down his cheeks.

Ladybug reached forward to cup his cheek with her free hand, thumb brushing away his tears, her spandex cool against his heated skin.

“It’s okay, chaton,” She whispered and even as the words left her mouth Adrien found himself collapsing into her arms, clutching and pulling and holding her to him.  His shoulders shook with sobs and he buried his face into her neck, relief and joy and exhaustion overwhelming him.

Ladybug’s knees buckled beneath their combined weight and Adrien sank with her to the ground.  Arms clasped tight around her waist he planted frantic kisses across her cheek, her ears, her forehead until they were both reduced to a teary, giggling mess.

“Silly kitty,” She murmured when he’d finally calmed down enough to pull away from her.  Adrien’s ribs felt tight around his chest at her sweet smile. She tapped his nose, once, twice and shook her head.  “I told you I’d come back.”

“How though?” He stared at her, his beautiful, wonderful Ladybug.  “How did you know?”

“You told me.”

“What?”

She blushed and made to push herself away from him but Adrien held her tight.

“My lady,” He coaxed, pulling her closer and rubbing soothing circles across her back.

“You, um, you called me.” Her eyes flicked to and away from his.  Adrien buried his face in her hair. “T-three weeks ago. You were kind of upset and let some things… some Chat things... slip and I… put it together.”

Adrien’s hands didn’t stop their movement even as realization crashed over him.  Three weeks back and a panic attack he couldn’t control. A late night phone call with one of his dearest friends, abroad for an internship and absent for the last few months.  Incoherent rambling about his father, the press, his lady.

The breath fell out of him and his grip on the stiff woman in his lap tightened all the more.

“Marinette,” He breathed.  Slowly, realizing he wasn’t about to push her away, she returned the embrace.

“Marinette.” He said, again, for the joy of it.

“Adrien.” Ladybug, Marinette, said and he could hear the smile in her voice.

Not wanting to miss seeing the real thing, he pulled back and grinned in return.

“You’re home.”

“Yeah, kitty.” She murmured, shyly playing with the bells of his sweater.  “I’m home.”

[for-ests]

Love It If We Made It: Oikawa Tooru x Reader (Part 1)

[ my masterlist ] Part 2

Warnings: angst, few mentions of death

Word count: 5, 105

Summary: You are Karasuno's volleyball manager, and when you tag along to their first match against Aoba Johsai, you reconnect with your childhood friend, Oikawa Tooru. A relationship soon develops, along with feelings that weren't present before. Problems soon arise though, because of his reputation, and your troubled past that he didn't know about. 

Everything happens for a reason.

That's what you always told yourself, realizing that one choice you made could lead to endless possibilities and situations you never thought you would find yourself in. It was far too easy to slip up, and let the world you had spent years creating turn to dust and fall between your finger tips.

You learned that the hard way, yet you were strong enough to pick yourself back up.

Joining the Karasuno Volleyball club as their manager came out of desperation on your end. In truth, it was a favor for your friend Kiyoko, who knew you were going through a tough time. When she explained the challenges, but emphasized that she couldn't do it all herself, you decided it was a good way to take your mind off things, while also helping others. Kiyoko was quiet, but it was her way of showing you she cared, by sharing her world with you and providing an outlet.

You needed something to do. Something that you could focus your energy on to forget your ex-boyfriend, the boy that had broken your heart. Along with that emotional trauma, you also had to deal with a devastating death in your family, your younger brother. Within the blink of an eye, those two events had changed you as a person. For two months, you had locked yourself away in your room to deal with it. And those who cared for you had started to grow worried.

That's why you were beyond relieved when you first walked into that gym, bombarded by underclassmen that soon became your friends. They were so happy, they were so passionate. Their optimistic nature began to inspire you in other aspects of your life.

Knowing you had a rambunctious group of boys to take care of, all the while alongside your friend, the massive hole in your heart began to repair itself.

As the weeks passed, the bond between you and the Karasuno volleyball club grew stronger, and you found yourself falling back into your healthy habits. You were smiling again, you were laughing again.

"What are you thinking about Y/N?" Hinata surprised you suddenly with a question. He had practically teleported to your side so quickly that you jumped.

"Oh!" You laughed, looking down at him with a smile to mask the once nostalgic expression that had graced your face. "I'm just really proud of you guys for making it this far."

The two of you stared down at the polished wood floors, the rows of stands, and the many, many schools that were preparing their fan sections for their upcoming games. It was the fall tournament, and the boys had won their first couple games—but now they were going to face an strong opponent- Aoba Johsai.

"Not you guys, it's us." Hinata said, conviction heavy within his tone. "We couldn't have done this without you."

A chuckle escaped your lips as you nudged him. "You're laying it on thick today."

Grinning, the orange-haired first year gave you a thumbs up. "I just want our Senpai to know that she's appreciated."

"-you have done a lot for us." Nishinoya joined in as the rest of the group caught up with you and Hinata.

All the boys had heard about your brother's accident. The trauma of it all was still looming over your head, threatening to take over your conscious at any moment. Perhaps the boys knew that being able to help and take care of them was a replacement for the family member you had lost. It felt good to be apart of a group again, with people who appreciated your time and efforts.

"Then I hope we win today." You made sure to use the inclusive pronouns. "So you didn't waste my time!"

"There she is!" Tanaka laughed a little too loudly. "Stop looking so nervous and keep making those jokes."

"I'm not nervous." You puffed your lip out, realizing the entire team had now surrounded you.

"You look really nervous." Kageyama finally spoke in monotone, seeming to deal with his own nerves in a completely different way.

"Okay fine." You grumbled. "I'm nervous."

The boys laughed.

"Why?" Kiyoko joined the huddle, looking concerned as she gazed at your face. You were trying really hard to remain calm.

Awkwardly twirling your hair between your finger tips, you tried to avoid locking eyes with anyone. "I don't want to put pressure on any of you-"

"Just tell us, it's okay Y/N." Suga's calm and reassuring voice whispered from behind you. The look in his eyes conveyed that he already knew what you were thinking, because that was also what was on his mind. This was your last year. Your last tournament. If you lost; it would be over.

"I really need you guys to win." You said. "Because I don't want this to be our last game."

It was true, when you thought about it for long enough, the threat of your time in the Karasuno volleyball club could be over in an instant.

Kiyoko gave your hand a reassuring squeeze, knowing you had grown to love the sport, and it's players, as much as she had. This moment was bittersweet.

"We will try our best, Y/N." Hinata said without his usual smile. Whenever that happened, you knew he was serious.

A brief moment of silence hung over the group, as if their situation had finally sank in.

You finally lifted your head to meet everyone's gaze. "Thank you all, really. Being apart of this team has helped me more than I can explain."

All of the boys replied instantly, more than happy that you were there with them. You could tell you meant a lot to them. Well, except with Tsukishima— but you knew you would eventually get there.

"Alright everyone, let's get to work." Coach Ukai encouraged as the tender moment faded. "We can't disappoint our managers."

He nodded at you, and you smiled back. When you really wanted to, you were a great pep talker.

"Now, Use your looks to distract our opponents!" Tanaka teased as he walked past you. Teasingly, you stuck your foot out to try and trip him- but his fast reflexes allowed him to casually step over it.

"Nice try!" He boasted.

Giggling from the interaction, you and Kiyoko crossed the volleyball court and to the coaching staff benches.

"Third years now have the ability to participate in the spring tournaments." Kiyoko said as the guys wandered off to begin warm-ups. "So if you want to, we can come back next semester."

"Really?" You breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank God."

"I could tell you were getting sentimental."

Feigning discomfort, you slumped next to her dramatically. "Knowing that beforehand would have been nice. I just embarrassed myself in front of the team."

"I think they needed to hear that from you." She said with honesty.

The genuine expression she wore warmed your heart. You and Kiyoko were incredibly different, yet incredibly similar. You always appreciated the time you spent with her, she was an important friend.

Your eyes drifted to the opposite side of the net. The team still hadn't arrived for warm-ups.

"We're playing Aoba Johsai right?" You asked, eyes searching the gym for their supposed school colors.

"Yes." Kiyoko had already immersed herself with writing down notes on her clipboard.

The name Aoba Johsai felt so familiar, as if you knew someone who attended that high school. Yet, you couldn't quite put a finger on it.

Though you were well-known at Karasuno, you were unsure about other high schools in the area. You weren't the type of girl to care about people you didn't interact with on a daily basis, even if you were considered popular.

You just went about your days trying to be kind, and trying to make a name for yourself. The last thing you wanted to be known for was what happened earlier in the year. You didn't want to be pitied.

But sometimes, the people from your past are the only ones that can heal you. Sometimes, it's better to reflect and appreciate everything that happened, even if it hurts.

Everything happens for a reason. Even if that reason doesn't seem clear at first glance.

The gym doors squeaked open, and in waltzed Karasuno's opponent- Aoba Johsai.

Though only a portion of the fan section had arrived, excited cheers sounded from the stands. You scowled, wishing your classmates had come to support your team. It definitely would have had an effect on the players, since half of them loved praise and affection.

Starting from the bottom already put you at a disadvantage. Unlike your opponents, Karasuno had a reputation to build back up. Every game counted. Every game mattered.

With that thought in mind, you had lost focus through all the noise. You could feel your nerves creeping back, threatening to overtake your smile, one that was needed as a morale booster for your players.

"Look pretty." Kiyoko teased, mocking Tanaka's ridiculous suggestion. Not every boy got worked up about girl managers with good looks like him and Nishinoya.

But still, out of habit, you ran a hand through your hair and flipped it behind your shoulders. Though you weren't the star of the show, you could still feel eyes on your back.

You needed to keep your composure. Because of her extended time as the volleyball club manager, Kiyoko has perfected her posture.

"I'm going to get some water." You whispered, standing up from the bench. That would definitely be the best option since your throat was starting to tighten.

Walking quickly, you reached the shared water table that was provided to both teams. A great plus when participating in tournaments.

Out of curiosity, as you grabbed a water bottle and took a sip, your eyes drifted to the other side of the net, where you were met with a striking, familiar, set of deep brown eyes.

For a moment that seemed to stretch past time limitations, you stood frozen in place.

"Tooru?" You whispered, voice drowned out by the cheering and movements of the players on court.

Your heart fluttered at the sight of him. It had been years since you parted ways.

Oikawa had been staring at you before you realized it was him. His look of astonishment quickly switched to one of wonder once he realized your lips had formed his name. "Y/N?" He mouthed back, flashing his notoriously handsome smile.

Without thinking, you crossed the threshold to the other side of the court.

"Oh my god-" You managed to choke, stopping abruptly in front of his towering figure. "I never thought..."

His expression wavered, as if it was begging you to follow through with the natural actions that filled your mind.

As if you had done it the day before, you threw your arms around his neck and pulled him down for a tight embrace. For the first time in a long time, you didn't care what anyone else thought about your actions.

"Hi again." He chuckled at how rash you had become, knowing you must have been overwhelmed to see him with how openly you were showing your emotions. Curling his arms around your torso, Oikawa chuckled in your ear. "You look great."

You pulled away, studying the changes he had made to his appearance. He had grown into his stalking height, one that he used to get teased for. His hair was silkier, his eyes wiser.  "So do you!"

The boy's touch lingered. "Wow." He breathed, short on words. "I never thought I'd see you again, but I really hoped."

You met his piercing gaze, one that seemed to flicker across parts of your body that a normal friend would restrict themselves from staring.  "Me too."

Your excitement passed though, as soon as you realized that the eyes of both teams were on you. Darting your eyes away in embarrassment from your rash actions, you recognized another familiar face. The regret that had built up inside of you dissipated within an instant.

"Haijime!" You waved, beckoning him to come closer.

"Hi, Y/N." He smiled, also bending down to give you a friendly hug. A hug that was much different than Oikawa's.

Teasingly, you continued the conversation. "I see that you two are the same. Still obsessed with volleyball."

Oikawa rolled his eyes. "Duh, of course. But what's more surprising is that you're a volleyball manager?"

"Yeah, I never thought that would happen." Iwaizumi added. "We inspired you, didn't we?"

Grinning from ear to ear, you nodded, reflecting on the hours that you had practiced with them. Before you had moved, the three of you would spend hours at the gym. Joining the Karasuno volleyball club had rekindled your love for the sport. And the boys were surprised that you had so much previous knowledge, which was now obvious that it had come from Oikawa.

Though what saddened you was that you had forgotten all about that. Your wholesome memories had been replaced with something far more grim.

"Hey!" The Aoba Johsai coach yelled from the opposite side. "Get back to business, all of you!"

The three of you turned and noticed that the rest of the team had stopped what they were doing, and seemed to be gossiping about your relationship to Oikawa and Iwaizumi. You immediately blushed, your contempt flooding right back in.

"Oi! don't look at her like that! She's not a piece of meat!" Oikawa pointed aggressively at his teammates, causing them to scatter and pretend they had been invested in their warm up practices the entire time.

"You're just mad that everyone is staring at her, and not you." Iwaizumi gave him a slap on the back for good measure. "Focus now."

Iwaizumi wandered off, leaving you one more brief moment with Oikawa. He glanced behind him, then back to you, looking somewhat regretful. It was most likely because the outcome of this game was going to be disappointing for one of you.

"Wait for me after the match, okay?" He asked, yet it came out more desperate. In a way that caused your heart to hammer in your chest. You really couldn't figure out if it was because of him, or if it was because of all the eyes you could still feel pointed towards you.

Throughout your younger years, Oikawa had boosted your confidence, and pushed you outside of your comfort zone. But things were slightly different now. Someone as outgoing as him could tell you had become timid, for reasons he didn't know yet, but hoped he would eventually figure out.

"Good luck, Tooru." You smiled. "You'll need it."

All he could do was flash you a devilish smile.

Oikawa had always been a flirt. It was somewhat comforting to know that his bubbly personality hadn't changed. At least on the surface. He had always commanded the attention of everyone in the room, which made your more reserved nature recoil in embarrassment.

But now, at least on the surface, you could handle it.

Because your parents moved all those years ago, you had never gained the opportunity to tell him how much he had meant to you. But as you watched his presence command the movements of his team, you realized that now was your chance.

Turning back to your teammates, who were all as equally surprised, you scratched the back of your neck awkwardly. "I'm sorry for interrupting." You apologized.

"Y/N, you know Oikawa?" Kageyama was the first one to ask.

"Y-yeah... we were friends in middle school, before I moved here."

"Interesting." Hinata dramatically set his chin in his hand, stroking it as if he had a goatee. "Y/N-chan knows both the kings!"

Kageyama immediately smacked the back of Hinata's head. "Shut up dumbass!" He scolded.

You stifled a laugh, encouraging them to continue on practicing, reassuring them that you were still crossing your fingers for Karasuno to win.

"Y/N took my suggestion a little too seriously." Tanaka sighed, watching you shyly make your way back over to the coaching bench.

"She's so popular and beautiful." Nishinoya added. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but I really wish I was Oikawa right now."

Feeling more pumped up than you had before, you shouted a cheer from the sideline. "Don't disappoint me boys!"

❀∙∘✿∘∙❀

Knowing that volleyball meant the world to Oikawa, you were somewhat relived that Aoba Johsai had won the match.

You would be there for your team in the end, but in this moment, you couldn't be there for Oikawa. You hadn't been for years. That's why you were relived, knowing you couldn't stand to see him upset.

"Don't look at me like that." He teased.

"Like what?" You deadpanned, trying hard to remain upset with him, since he had just ruined Karasuno's chance at participating in the fall nationals.

"Like you're trying to hate me. Because I know you can't."

Finally cracking a smile, you averted your gaze with embarrassment. "You're right."

Oikawa instinctively stepped closer. The proximity caused your heart to pound in your chest, surprisingly because you had never felt like this with him before.

"Even if we lost, I still would have felt that I won." The boy didn't need to explain what he was referring to, because you knew it was about you. It was because you were in his life again.

Trying to remain calm, you scrunched your nose. "Now you're laying it on thick."

Seeming to accept the challenge, Oikawa continued with his flirtations. "I find it strange that I usually get everything I want, but I somehow never got you." The third year laughed sadly, staring up at the pale blue sky. He had always hoped to see you again, but he had never expected it to be in this way.

"You don't even know me anymore." You said, not intending for your words to come out so harshly.

You were right. Oikawa hated it, but you were. And for some reason it made you that much more attractive. Personality wise, and looks wise. Your maturated appearance didn't help his thoughts from wandering.

He had missed your presence more than he had realized. Knowing that you were going to be in his life again gave him a strange sense of hope. It seemed that he had been holding onto them at dream since you parted ways at the end of junior high.

Your parents moved away, taking you along with them. Since your childhood friend was no longer your neighbor and you didn't go to the same high school, your friendship prematurely ended.

Oikawa wish he had tried harder to keep contact, but something told him you might be better off without him. He was going through his own troubles, and needed to focus on himself.

"I should have called you, or something... I don't know." Oikawa admitted. Though it had been years, he still felt comfortable enough around you to speak his mind.

You were the only girl he could ever do that with. He had searched far and wide to replace you, but he always ended up empty handed. Perhaps he should have searched for you instead.

"It's okay." You assured, knowing that life had moved fast for the both of you. You would never hold a grudge against him for that, being young and naive, trying desperately to fit into your new environments. It also didn't help that neither if you had cellphones when you moved away, therefore making it practically impossible to keep in contact. "We were both busy."

Oikawa knew you were putting on an act, but it also seemed genuine. To him, you had always been confusing, your thoughts and emotions so complex that it frightened him. Girls like you had always been hard to find. Ones that were able to explain their resonating so well that it caused them to reflect on their own actions and behaviors. You had always kept Oikawa in check.

But right now, the spirit that he had grown to love was barely visible. He could tell you were happy to see him, but something inside you had been wounded. Whatever it was, Oikawa could tell you were hurting. And every fiber in his being wanted to fix it.

"What happened to you, Y/N?" He asked suddenly, the look in his eyes convincing you that you had done a terrible job concealing your emotions.

Averting your gaze, you shifted awkwardly on your toes. "A lot has happened, Tooru. Too much to explain now."

You could hear the boys loading into the bus, some of them shouting your name in reminder to hurry up your conversation. You glanced back and saw that Kiyoko was waiting outside the vehicle for your return.

Smiling to dispel the haunting memories, you continued. "I would rather hear about you for now. You must be really happy that you won."

"I worked hard...I worked my ass off for years to get where I am today." He kicked a rock across the cement sidewalk. "Watching Kageyama play so well helped me realize that I had been slacking. I guess I forgot what that feels like."

"But?" You pushed him to continue.

Oikawa grimaced, and for a moment, you wished you hadn't asked that question. "Our next opponent will be harder."

It was true. Oikawa had worked hard all his life. He hadn't been blessed with raw talent like his underclassmen Kageyama, but he followed his dream, he had followed his heart.

For some reason though, as he stared at your glowering expression, he began to second guess himself. Maybe he had been doing it wrong.

"Don't give up then." You said, voice wavering with conviction that surprised him. "Whether you were born with it or not, you still have talent. There's still ways to utilize that after High-school. If you really love volleyball then you will continue."

Oikawa's eyes widened.

"This is strange coming from you, who's been rubbing off on you?"

You chuckled. "Nobody. I just know what to say to you."

You were right again. You encouraged him in the most perfect way, but you never praised him like the others. Oikawa's mother always told him to never accept too much praise, and to never get too full of himself.

You were real. You weren't fake like the other girls who only fawned over him for his looks. He would have preferred you to watch him from the stands with genuine interest for the sport, unlike the other girls who were only there for him.

Why?

Because it was the truth. And it was normal. People who work hard to get to a certain point, stop once they reach it. But that's not what he had done. He kept trying. The boy tried harder than he needed to become the best.

No matter what anyone said, Oikawa knew he had to keep trying. He couldn't let his pride get the best of him like it had in the match against Karasuno.

Just by looking his way, he knew what you were thinking. Only a girl as special as you could make him realize that. A girl that had known him from the beginning.

He laughed at first, causing your eyes to drift towards him. You didn't seem surprised, instead, you were calm. "Well, I'm glad that hasn't changed."

You smiled as your hair rippled to the side from a gust of wind. "I missed you, Tooru." The tone of your voice was filled with hope, directly asking him to make the first move, and to not let you leave without a promise to see you again.

"I think it's finally time that you gave me your number." Oikawa held his phone out for you. You tried desperately to hide the blush that was creeping along your face. Everything he did was flirtatious, yet in a way that was childish and made you remember how you used to play with him back in primary school.

After typing in your number, you handed him back his phone. The entire time, you could feel his eyes on you, studying, lingering.

"Well," you apologized, gesturing behind you. "I can't keep them waiting."

"Go ahead, Y/N. I'll text you."

"I'll be waiting." You whispered, barely audible enough for him to hear. Turning on your heels and jogging towards the bus, you glanced behind your shoulder one last time, as if you were afraid to let him escape your gaze. Times were different now, you would see him again. You were sure of it.

You flashed him a smile.

Oikawa shoved his hands in his pockets. You would never know that you had already won over his heart. You had all those years ago, and your presence within him had remained.

Then you left, hoping and praying that he would keep his promise. Hoping and praying that nobody had taken your place.

True love wasn't real, you knew that well enough from your past experiences. Yet deep down, your heart claimed differently. You could anticipate what was going to happen.

❀∙∘✿∘∙❀

Four months ago

Your hands trembled.

Your thoughts raced as you swung your legs over the railing of your balcony, gazing at the stars that twinkled brightly in the sky.

Your bare feet brushed the plants underneath you, fresh dew gathering in their crevices.

You managed to smile.

It was a quiet and beautiful night. The moon illuminated the oak trees so mysteriously, it would have intrigued you on any other night.

But right now...

All you wanted to do was forget him.

It had been almost a month since the breakup, but you couldn't seem to forgive his iniquitous mistake.

You were a relatively calm and understanding person. But his betrayal had left you in shambles. Haruki was his name, and he had cheated on you with a girl in a different class- who knew that he was your boyfriend. A girl that hated you for no reason, only because you had something that she did not.

You had never been in a situation like this. Nobody had ever taught you how to handle the feelings that came along after heartbreak.

Your supposed first love had cheated on you, yet you didn't know how to respond. How could love just... disappear? Did he ever even love you? Had you wasted the last two years of your life on him?

You were bitter, angry, and confused. Time was supposed to heal wounds, and it did, but only to an extent.

You were a completely different person now. Some would say stronger, but some would say weaker. You had been out of touch for quite some time. And now you were finally sinking back into reality.

But what made you the most addled, was that you couldn't remember his face. It made you so angry to realize that you could forget a face you had studied for so long. Your stomach felt sick as you tried to remember the color of eyes, the taste of his lips, his smile, anything... But you were blank. You had already started to forget about the man you loved, but with good reason.

You had been so lost. And that's why it hurt so bad. You had been vulnerable, you had been taken advantage of. You felt sick knowing you didn't break from his spell on your own.

You winced, partly from the nighttime breeze, and partly from the cold hard truth. Haruki was the liar. But somehow you felt like it was your fault. How could you ever trust someone like that again? You had fallen head over heels for someone who was way under your league, pouring all of your love into the relationship.

You had tried your best to make it work, you had given him everything. All of your time, all your emotions, and all of your body.

But it was never enough. Why were you not enough?

You had made a fool of yourself. You had begged him to stay, because you felt guilty about letting him take your virginity. Haruki had cheated on you, thrown your love away like it was nothing, and left without seeming to care. But the thing was, you still cared.

You could only hold yourself together around your family and friends. But when you were alone like this, your mind drifted away.

You regretted the decisions you'd made with him. You really did. You had blindly followed a boy into a destructive relationship, thinking that he could be a man. Thinking you could fix him, and thinking you could make him better.

But if someone doesn't want to change, they won't. It hurt like hell. Because that's when you realized that people always lie.

Your love was wasted on a boy who didn't deserve it.

Guilt crept into your subconscious. Though you didn't want to admit it, you felt that you had disappointed whoever you were going to end up with in the future.

You leaned against the metallic railing, ears perking up at the undertone of cicadas. They sang mindlessly into the night, like you once had.

It wasn't meant to be, and that was alright. Yet it was still painful, the memories causing tears to prick at your eyelids. You felt helpless at times like this. Why couldn't you just forget about everything and move on?

You desperately wanted to, but deep inside, something was urging for you to never forget this pain. You had spent countless nights in this very position, staring up at the stars, cloudy sky or clear.

And it finally spelled out for you. You were never meant to brush these emotions aside. Instead, you urged to hold them close to your heart. You would never forget your mistake, so you would never make it again.

You had learned, you were stronger. You were different.

You had to put on a show for far too long, masking the pain Haruki had caused you until it was too late.

Now your broken heart was already healing.

Looking up into the black sky once again, you smiled for the first time in days. Tomorrow you would be looking at the same stars through a different lens.

You were changing, while he would stay the same. That was the greatest revenge of all. You would live on without him.

That was what you had convinced yourself until your mother called you the next day, and relayed the devastating news that your brother had died in an accident.

And just like that, two of the most important people in your life were gone.

And back into the spiral you fell.

❀∙∘✿∘∙❀

Tag list!! lmk if you want to be added for the next part <33

@ardorwrites-hq-mha​ @cuddlyasahi​ @vventure @writeiolite​ @allywritesimagines​ @benewol​

[honeypiehotchner]

Alone Together part two -- Bucky Barnes x Reader (College AU)

Summary: You’re warming up to Bucky and you equally hate and love it. Bucky has no idea what to do with himself and calls some reinforcements.

With each day that passes by, you’re a bit friendlier to James.

You weren’t going to. You genuinely expected yourself to accept his apology, and remain civil, which you have been, but you’ve been doing more. You don’t escape the room the moment he walks in anymore. The two of you washed your sheets together just yesterday. You were doing it first because your mom had been nagging you to, but James walked in with his own sheets just a few moments later.

It was a strange moment, having the both of you on the same page. Yes, it was about washing sheets, but it was something.

You take walks around campus every couple days just to get out of the building, and James joined you on one today. In complete silence, but you didn’t mind. That’s your whole point of walking is to listen to the world around you.

But you know you’re warming up to James, despite your inner protests, because when he invites you to hang out with him in the common area, you agree.

Two rounds of pool (both of which, you won) and one rematch of ping pong later (James won that one), you both crashed onto the couch, bored out of your minds.

“So…” You decide to try your hand at some conversation. You must seriously be desperate for human interaction. “Why aren’t you at home?”

“Home is Romania,” James says quietly. “They got hit pretty early on and so there aren’t any flights going in or out of the country right now.”

You frown deeply. “I’m so sorry.” He’s literally stranded here. That sounds awful. 

“It’s alright,” he shrugs, nodding in your direction. “What about you? I really wasn’t expecting you of all people to be here.”

“What do you mean me of all people?”

“I just figured you had a boyfriend or someone that you’d be jumping at the chance to go home to.”

Your face flushed at the comment. “No...uh, no boyfriend or anything. My sister is high risk, and I didn’t want to accidentally give her the virus — or anything. I’m always super careful when I go home, but this is like on an entirely new level.”

To your surprise, James is serious. “I’m sorry, that must be really hard.”

“Not as hard as being literally stranded here,” you tease. 

He accepts the change in tone. “Hey, I’m just lucky they let students stay on campus. Some colleges kicked everyone out. I’m lucky to have this roof over my head right now.”

“Same.”

You don’t know what you would’ve done if you were forced to go back home. Probably quarantine yourself in your tiny bedroom and refuse to let your sister come anywhere near you. You know she wouldn’t listen, though. She never does, and so that’s ultimately why you made the decision to stay here. It’s harder, sure, to be away from your family right now, but it’s for the better.

“I guess it’s not as bad as I thought it would be, though,” James stretches, discreteness being one of his absolute weakest skills. “Since you’re here to keep me company.”

You raise an eyebrow at the arm that is dangerously close to being wrapped around your shoulders. “You’re an idiot, Barnes.”

He retracts his arm. “Why am I an idiot?”

“I’m not falling for your charm. Quarantine or not, keep that shit far away from me.”

He nods. “Note taken.” 

You cross your arms over your chest triumphantly. “Good.”

A few beats of silence pass between the two of you, leaving you wondering if James’s intent really was to charm you. But he speaks up again before your brain has the time to give that too much thought.

“Hey Red?”

“My name is Y/N.”

“Fine,” James breathes slowly, almost annoyed, if you had to guess. “Hey Y/N?”

You sigh. “What, James?”

“My friends call me Bucky.”

You roll your eyes. “Are we gonna watch a movie or not?”

Bucky laughs loudly, nodding his head. “Yeah, we can watch a movie. Let me hook my laptop up real quick.”

He slides off the couch to do as promised and you have to cover your smile. Well, you don’t have to considering his back is facing you right now, but you want to. You shouldn’t be smiling. James Barnes is bad news.

+++

“I don’t know what I’m doing, man.”

On the other end of the line, Steve Rogers laughs loudly. “I have to say I’ve never seen you this messed up over a girl.”

“This isn’t funny, idiot,” Bucky mutters, fisting his hair, leaning his head back into the pillows on his bed.

“It’s hilarious!”

Bucky groans. “Why do I even call you for help?”

“Because you need help courting, and I’m the master,” Steve replies, deadly serious.

“Courting? This isn’t the 40s, and you’re not the master. You’ve had one girlfriend.”

“I still have her, thank you very much,” Steve scoffs. “And we’ve been together for long enough that I consider myself an expert.”

“Whatever, man.”

“Do you want my help or not?”

“Yes, damn, okay, I want your help. It’s why I called you in the first place.” Bucky stands from his bed and begins pacing. “She...She drives me crazy, Steve, you don’t understand.”

“I understand,” Steve says, hint of knowing in his tone. “I was the same way when I met Peggy.”

“Yeah, but you and Peggy, you— You’re practically soulmates. She wanted you from the day she met you, and Y/N, she— I think she’d rather be dead right now than be stuck here with me.”

“Didn’t you just watch a movie with her yesterday? And hung out the whole day?”

“Yeah, but I told you what she said,” Bucky pauses his steps, the memory flashing behind his eyes. “She rejected my move, man.”

“Of course she did, you dumbass,” Steve can’t contain his laughter. “Geez, Buck, I didn’t think you’d be this stupid.”

Tiredly, Bucky rubs his forehead. “I don’t have time for this right now. If you’re not going to help.”

“Forget all you’ve ever known about courting a girl,” Steve replies, slower and more serious. “This isn’t about a hookup—”

“No, God, no.” Bucky likes you way too much for that. All of his hookups in the past have been because the girl didn’t want a relationship. But you’re not like that. Bucky isn’t either, deep down, and it’s killing him. 

“Okay, good,” Steve says. “But that means you’re gonna have to actually get to know her. You know that, right?”

“Of course I know that,” Bucky hisses, defensive. “I want to. You have no idea how bad I want to, but she wants nothing to do with me, so what do I do now?”

“I think you’re overthinking,” Steve replies honestly. “I don’t know about you, Buck, but from what I know about Y/N, if she didn’t want anything to do with you, even this quarantine wouldn’t make her spend time with you. If she really wasn’t interested in at least a friendship, I don’t think she’d agree to watch a movie with you. Or go on a walk. Or kick your ass in pool.”

“Yeah,” Bucky says, absentmindedly. “Wait. How do you know her?”

“Peggy and her are friends, sort of. They were in the same history class last semester, so they studied together a lot in the library. I never talked to her a ton, but I saw her when I’d stop by to say hi to Peg.”

“Where? I literally never saw Y/N in there.”

“You weren’t looking hard enough,” Steve chuckles. “Or she was hiding. Probably the latter.”

“Hiding from who?”

“Probably you.”

Bucky’s eyes widen as he throws his hand in the air hysterically. “Great, thanks Steve. Really boosting my confidence here.”

“Hey!” Steve laughs. “You’re the one who decided to be the school’s resident playboy. You did this to yourself. You should’ve known better than that. Tools don’t attract the good girls.”

“Then who does?”

“You’ve gotta be yourself, Buck,” Steve pleads. “Just quit overthinking and quit — for the love of God, quit the arm stretch move. It’s ridiculous.”

“Thanks grandpa.”

“I’m not the one who rejected your move, but okay.”

Bucky mutters something inaudible under his breath. His best friend has a point with that one.

+++

You’ve been lying on your bed for the past hour, staring up at the ceiling. You’ve been to the kitchen to make an omelette, around campus for a walk, and attempted to play a game of pool against yourself, all with the smallest of hopes that you’d see Bucky. But you haven’t.

And when it dawns on you that you even had a sliver of hope about seeing him, you texted your best friend. Please tell me I’m not crushing on Bucky.

“Wait, hold on a second,” your best friend leans closer to the camera. She Facetimed you after you texted for a few minutes because she apparently just had to see your face for this conversation. Even though you didn’t want to answer her call. “You’re telling me a few days ago you were ranting to me about how much you were dreading quarantine because of James and now you’re calling him Bucky and you hung out with him all day?”

“Not all day!” You protest. 

“Most of the day!” Your best friend fires back. “You watched a movie! And went on a walk!”

“And beat his ass in pool,” you mutter under your breath, realizing a second later that you’re doing nothing to help your case. “That’s not the point.”

“It is most certainly a point,” your best friend replies pointedly. “What are you thinking?”

“I’m thinking I have to be going insane.”

“What?!”

“I hung out with James Barnes for God’s sake!” You cry, giving her an incredulous look. “He’s the exact kind of boy I avoid.”

“And now you have a crush on him.”

“I do not!” You hiss, wanting to chuck your phone out the window. “I said please tell me I don’t.”

“Well I can’t lie to you.”

“God,” you run your fingers through your hair, falling back into your pillows on the bed. Quarantine was fine before James showed up -- or, before you knew he was here. Before then. Everything was fine.

“Can I ask you a question you’re not going to like me asking?”

You sit back up, giving your friend a suspicious look. “No.”

“Tough shit, I’m asking anyway,” she snickers. “Why have you been avoiding him?”

“He’s a fuckboy,” you reply easily. “I avoid all fuckboys, you know that.”

“Not Sam.”

“Sam’s different.”

“How so?”

You stay silent. You know what your answer is. And your best friend knows it, too.

You don’t find Sam attractive. Sure, he’s not ugly by any means at all. But he’s not your type. Who is your type?

James. Bucky. Barnes. All the way.

It’s obvious. The guys you’ve had crushes on in the past have fit the same bill. Dark hair, sharp jawline, kind eyes, blinding smile, strong shoulders. Not to mention, James’s style. He’s all monochrome and black leather. You’re the same way, though you experiment with maroon and forest green more. 

But the point is...James fits everything. 

And you’ve had a subconscious crush on him since the very first moment you ever met him. 

You remember the day perfectly, too. You were in the dining hall with your best friend. She had gone to the game (maybe it is football, then) just the day before. He recognized her from there and typical James, he made a conversation. You stayed silent and escaped into your phone, but you didn’t miss the way he looked at you before running off to class, saying it was nice to meet both of you, as if you hadn’t just ignored him.

Since that day you made sure that you were never in the same place as James Barnes, which, to be fair, wasn’t hard at all. You’re not the biggest fan of sports, so unless you have a real reason to go to a game (like a friend performing or very rarely, when Sam asked if you were coming and your best friend would answer for you, inevitably dragging you in), you never went. As far as where you like to hang out, the library is high on the list, and you like to be in a back corner, hidden away from everyone. You like getting genuinely lost in the shelves, both to avoid others and honestly, to avoid yourself.

The dining hall, though. That was always a game to play, a fine line to walk. You mostly kept yourself busy with a book or some form of work, or sometimes so engaged in conversation that it physically pained you, but no one ever interrupted.

But now...now everything is different. 

The barriers are gone. The distractions are no more. And you’re stuck in the same building with him for who knows how long.

“He’s not a bad guy,” your best friend tries to explain. “He really isn’t.”

“He hooks up with girls like it’s a sport,” you remind her.

“But do you see him ghosting them? Do you see them feeling betrayed because he led them on?”

You stay quiet.

“James-- Or Bucky, I guess, he’s...I think he kind of went after those girls because he knew nothing would come of it. He wasn’t looking for anything real and they weren’t either. He wasn’t doing it because he wanted to hurt them. And they’re not hurt, trust me. He’s still friends with a lot of them.”

“But he’s just-- We’re so different.”

“From what you’ve been telling me, you’re a lot more alike than you want to admit.”

“How do I know this isn’t just because of quarantine, though?” You murmur. “He never paid attention to me before.”

“He did,” you friend replies quietly. “You were just too busy to notice.”

You aren’t sure what to make of that. And you don’t have the energy to ask. So, you stay silent. Until your friend says she needs to go.

After hanging up, you go back to staring at the ceiling, and battling your own feelings. You have a crush on Bucky. There’s nothing you can do about that.

[slapshot-to-the-heart]

Flatbush & Atlantic: part i

Quick note: This is taking place in the 2020-21 season, as if the Islanders still play at Barclays; I know they won’t in actuality. In the story, I’m also going to be taking some liberties with what the duties of a team’s general counsel and legal team would actually be in charge of. My understanding, as a pre-law student, is that it’s more on the corporate angle, dealing with contracts and stuff — in addition to that, Cass will also be dealing with some more immigration and employment law as well. 

part i

October 1

“Adiós, mamá. Hablamos pronto. Te amo.” Cassidy hung up, breathing out a tense sigh and rubbing her temples with the heels of her hands. Talking to her mom usually helped to calm her down, bring her back to Earth, but for whatever reason it wasn’t taking. She took a brief glance at the casebook open on her dinged-up Ikea desk. Federal Indian Law. She liked the class, genuinely, but her day had started off bad and gotten worse pretty damn quickly. First she was out of her favorite tea, then her advisor cancelled their meeting, then it started raining as she walked back to her MTA stop, so she had missed the train. Another came fifteen minutes later, but the damage was already done. The only bright spot in the day, aside from calling her mom, had been the cute guy at the Polish deli down the street who had put extra peppers on her Philly cheesesteak. She unwrapped the sandwich, taking a moody bite out of the end. A caramelized onion dropped to the floor. Sighing, she leaned down to pick it up, hurtling it in the direction of the trashcan but only half-looking to see if it reached its target destination. Despite the name, Cass had never had a cheesesteak before she moved to New York, and it wasn’t even because she wasn’t a sandwich person. No, Cass loved a good sandwich, but between her proclivity towards a good BLT and her mom’s homemade Mexican food, she just hadn’t gotten around to it. 

Her laptop dinged with an email notification. What now? She swiped over to the mail page, taking another bite as she read the subject line. Experiential learning requirement - unmet. Her brow furrowed. Unmet? Clicking it open, she scanned the email, clearly something automated from the registrar’s office. Yet to complete Columbia’s experiential learning requirement...We suggest you connect with professors...You have until October 8 to submit...Cassidy never finished her sandwich. “Oh my God,” she muttered to herself, feeling her cheeks heat up. “How could you do this? How could you be so stupid, Cass?” She was normally so on top of everything, never missed a date, never forgot an assignment, so how could she have missed one of the only things left to do to graduate? Her law school required all of the graduates to complete some sort of experiential learning requirement — some kind of externship, clinic, summer associate position, anything to get them “out in the real world.” That’s when it hit her. She had coached her high school’s mock trial team the summer after her first year, and interned at the Hartford County DA’s the summer after. But they paid her. Her school had a weird ‘double-dip’ policy, where you weren’t allowed to take a position for class credit and get paid at the same time. It was a confusing rule, convoluted and bizarre and probably a little bit elitist, but it was a rule. As if the day couldn’t get any worse, and then somehow it did. 

Turning to her laptop, she started searching for just about anything that could possibly help her. The school’s website, the Manhattan District Attorney’s, state offices, NGOs, federal prosecutors, anyone that might have a lead. Frantically dragging over her resumé and throwing together a cover letter that probably (hopefully) looked way more interesting than it actually was, Cassidy fired off email after email after email. Two hours later, she had sent off some twenty-odd applications, hoping that at least one or two would end up panning out. Glancing at her watch, she let out an exasperated breath. 12:22 A.M. Her classes didn’t start until nine, but it took almost an hour and a subway connection to get to Columbia, and she had to eat and shower before. So, really, it meant getting up at about seven. She needed to go to bed. 

Stomach reeling and feeling more resigned than anything, Cass haphazardly brushed her teeth, flossed — it didn’t matter how tired she was, she’d never forget to floss — and clambered into bed, wearing a faded, way-too-big Rangers t-shirt. I’ll be okay. She took a deep breath. It’ll be okay. It has to be. Cassidy Cabrera Shaw was tough as nails and stubborn as hell, and she wasn’t going to let everything she had worked so hard for fall apart so easily. 

Whenever Cass was nervous, or anxious, or afraid, she was never able to sleep well. She ended up waking up at ten past six, sitting in her bed for fifteen minutes praying that she’d fall back asleep, and finally accepting her fate that sleep just wasn’t going to come. Rolling over, she grabbed her phone from where she had left it charging on the nightstand. Nightstand was maybe a generous term for it; technically, it was a wooden milk crate that she had spray painted white when she and the other girls had moved into the apartment two years prior. She had a little bit of money set aside from college, but every penny possible was going towards tuition and those ungodly-expensive books that she had to buy every semester. The mattress and frame were from Ikea, and Cass had brought some things like bedding and a desk from her old room. The rest of it — rugs, lighting, and decorations like her six-inch ceramic peacock (his name was Charles) had come from a combination of Goodwill runs and senior citizen yard sales. 

Wincing as she did so, Cass pulled up her email, bracing herself for the inevitable barrage of rejection. After scrolling past ten or so automated “no longer hiring” and “position has been filled” messages, one caught her eye. She had sent a few emails to professors of hers, not expecting to hear anything back for a few days. It wasn’t perfect by any means, but there certainly were advantages of going to school in a city as massive as New York. All of her professors knew someone and had some kind of connection from their own education, or days in the practice, or childhood summer trips to the Hamptons with someone who just so happened to be a judge on the Second Circuit Court — that last one was last year’s employment law professor. One particular subject line caught her eye. Thought you might be interested, Professor Murakami had written. David, as he preferred to be called, was her Sports Law professor from last year. She didn’t go into the class expecting to enjoy it all that much, if she was being honest. She had gotten a crappy registration time and most other classes were filled, so it had started out as a placeholder and nothing more. Over the semester, though, it had quickly become one of her favorites, combining pieces of everything else she had studied into one cohesive course. Cass also wasn’t in a position to be turning down any potential offers, so she opened the email and started reading. 

I got your email, Cassidy, and think I might be able to help. Okay, so far, so good. I happen to have a contact in the counsel’s office of one of the professional sports teams in the city. That’s exactly what Cass was talking about — where do these people meet each other? Is there some kind of exclusive speakeasy you’re given the password to as soon as you’re admitted to the state bar? Chris Cohen works for the Islanders, and I remember you talking about how interested in hockey you are. Okay, true, but the Islanders? She had practically been born with a Ranger’s jersey on. Beggars can’t be choosers, she thought. I gave him a heads-up that I’d likely be sending a promising candidate his way, so just let me know if this sounds like something you’d be interested in and I’ll send along your contact information. 

Cass couldn’t respond fast enough. Yes, please! 

---

Wednesdays were her ‘easy’ days, if you could say that. She had Environmental Law and Human Rights back-to-back, but anything after noon was pretty much fair game. That being said, it certainly didn’t mean that she was any less stressed. There were at least a hundred pages to read before class the next day, she had a sample essay due for bar prep, and her mind was still racing about the email. Grabbing a gyro from the cart outside of her last class of the day, Cass stress-ate with one hand while continually refreshing her inbox with the other.  Food wasn’t allowed in the library, so she ate the last few bites right outside the doors, throwing away the wrapper and squeezing past the hordes of clearly overwhelmed first-years running to get to class on time. 

Popping her Airpods out of their case and into her ears, Cass briskly made her way up the stairs to the third floor, crossing her fingers that her usual spot, a big blue chair over by the research desk, was open. She was in luck, pulling out a water bottle and laptop and getting to work on editing. Four hours later, she had reached some semblance of satisfaction with her work, shutting off her computer and making her way to the subway. There was about half an hour before she had to transfer to the line that would take her to the apartment; squeezing into one of the last free seats, she tugged out a textbook and a highlighter. Why her professor insisted on assigning the entire text of the United Nations charter was a mystery to her, but she’d rather jump off a cliff than be cold called on without an answer. Transferring at Grand Concourse took about ten minutes — it was rush hour, so the first train to come was entirely full — and another twenty or so minutes later, she was letting herself into her shared East Bronx apartment. 

Hanging up her denim jacket by the door and toeing off her sneakers, Cass let out a not-so-subtle exasperated sigh. 

“One of those days?” Alicia piped in from the kitchen. Alicia also lived in the apartment, one of the four sorority sisters-turned-roommates who had made the move from Connecticut down to New York after graduation. Cass padded into the kitchen, where she was greeted by Alicia in front of a skillet and rice cooker, intensely sautéeing some vegetables.

“You have no idea,” Cass said, hugging her from behind. “Whatcha making?” There were obviously some nights when not everyone was home — most often either Cass or Ryanne, who was in med school — but they always tried to have a few nights a week where someone would cook a meal for the whole house. 

“Japchae, it’s my mom’s recipe,” she replied. “I called her and asked how much sesame oil to use, and she just said ‘until it tastes right.’ Like, I love you, Mom, but that doesn’t really help my cause, does it?”

Cass snorted. “Oh for sure, it’s the same way with me. Do you remember the first time I made tamales down here?” Cass had grown up eating and making tamales with her mom and abuela, but she had never been allowed to really take the reins. She had the recipe, though, so the first night after they were moved in, she ventured down to the closest bodega, bought the ingredients, and decided to try her hand making them from scratch. The recipe, however, left out the key piece of exactly how much water to use for steaming — Cass didn’t know, and her mom had always just eyeballed it. So she had ended up putting in way too little and setting the stove way too hot, and to make a long story short, ended up setting off the fire alarm. The one saving grace was the extremely attractive police office that came to double-check the false alarm, but even he couldn’t wipe the mortified expression off of her face. 

“How could I forget?” Alicia responded with a grin. “Go put your shit down, it’ll be ready in a few.”

Cass playfully rolled her eyes, heading towards her room in the back. “Yes, mother.” Their apartment was a three bedroom; while obviously it would have been amazing for everyone to have their own, it was still New York City and none of them were exactly rolling in the dough. Cassidy and Ryanne were obviously still students, and while Alicia and Stella had actual jobs  — Stella worked international business down by Wall Street and Alicia did something with satellites in Queens — none of them were exactly inclined to set out on their own just yet. So Stella and Alicia shared a room, and she and Ryanne had their own. She shrugged off her jacket, slinging her backpack onto the bed before chugging the rest of her water bottle and checking her phone. Two new emails. A 20% off coupon to Lush, and one from Chris Cohen. Chris Cohen? It took her a minute to remember, but when she did, she couldn’t read it fast enough.

Honestly, Cass didn’t read the whole thing, but got enough information to know that she had an interview Friday afternoon at the office in Brooklyn, that Chris  — he had said to call him Chris — said she came with a stellar recommendation from Professor Murakami (an old law school buddy, figures) and that there was no way in hell she was going to fuck this up. She wouldn’t let herself. 

---

Cass was lucky her Thursdays were so packed; if she had any extra time to stress over her impending interview, she would have, but she couldn’t. She had two ‘free’ hours in between classes, but after she had scarfed down lunch (Alicia had, mercifully, made plenty of leftovers) it was the only stretch she had to hit the gym. Coupled with the time it took to walk there, change, and shower after, there really wasn’t much in the way of downtime. After classes was her bar prep group, and the day was so exhausting that it was pretty much all she could manage to take the train home, microwave dinosaur chicken nuggets, and stumble into bed. After flossing. 

---

If Cassidy lived in any other city, she would have felt wildly out of place on her morning commute. Who shows up to school wearing a suit? She wasn’t an absolute masochist, so her heels were in her bag. But for once in her life she didn’t feel so out of place among the presumably-highbrow, presumably-making-six-figures crowd surrounding her. The suit had been her first big purchase for herself  — she had scraped by without one in college, but invested as soon as she had a little saved up from her summer job at a boutique in town. Her mother had always told her that it was the woman who made the clothes, rather than the other way around, and Cass always did what her mom said. 

Samaira, one of her friends and another editor on the Columbia Law Review, caught up to her as they both left the twice-weekly morning meeting. “You seem kind of jumpy, Cass. What’s up?”

Cassidy wrung her hands and shrugged her shoulders. “I told you that I missed the internship requirement thing, right?” Samaira nodded. “Well, I have an internship in,” she paused to look at her watch, “two hours, and I’m so nervous I’m going to mess this up. I don’t know what I’m going to do if I don’t get it. There’s not time to look for something else, there’s no alternative, and I don’t know what to do if my own stupidity and forgetfulness is the only thing standing in between me and something I’ve worked so fucking hard for—”

Samaira cut her off. “I’m going to stop you there. That’s bull, Cass, and you know it. You are the furthest thing from a disappointment. You’re one of the kindest, sharpest, and most creative people I know, and you’re not going to let something as petty as a deadline stand in your way. Time gets away from all of us sometimes, and it’s nothing to beat yourself up over. I want you to be confident and have faith in yourself, because you deserve it, but if you don’t, it’s okay. I get it. I believe in you enough for the both of us.” She squeezed Cass’ hand. 

She managed a watery smile. “Thanks, Samaira.”

“Any time,” she replied easily. “I’ve got to run to class now, but I want to hear how it went the second you get out, okay?”

“I will.”

Samaira rolled her eyes. “I mean it. You’re going to crush this, Cass. Love you!” She added, waving goodbye as she turned the corner.

There was half an hour before Cass needed to head over to the interview, and before she knew it her feet had taken her to her favorite spot on the north side of Central Park. Grabbing a bagel, she thankfully found the bench empty. After finishing the bagel — she would have preferred cheese, but they were out, so cinnamon raisin it was — and the better part of her Hozier-dominated acoustic playlist, it was time to catch the train. She jumped on with barely a second to spare, grabbing a strap and trying to avoid bumping into anyone. 

A seat opened up about halfway to Brooklyn, and Cass took the opportunity to unceremoniously tug off her much more practical flats and switch into the much more professional ankle-strap heels that had been stuffed in her backpack all day. For a fleeting moment, she was worried what everyone around her would think; she was, after all, technically changing on public transportation. A man got on at the next stop who was dressed head-to-toe in neon orange while carrying a Pomeranian in his purse. Nobody batted an eye. She got over herself pretty quickly.

Getting off at the Barclays Center station, Cass pulled out her phone, opening up the camera to give herself a quick once-over. As much as she hated it, first impressions really were everything. Lipstick? Not smudged. Hair? Minimal flyaways. Teeth? No spinach to be seen. Triple-checking that she had the time right, Cass walked through the doors of the office building, Islanders logo emblazoned on the wall behind the secretary’s desk. 

“Hi,” she said tentatively, catching his attention. “I have an interview with Chris Cohen at 2?” 

The secretary nodded, smiling warmly at her. “No problem. I’m Josh, you can have a seat over there,” he nodded to the small waiting area off to the side, “and I’ll call you when he’s ready for you to be sent up.”

Cass didn’t wait for more than five minutes before Josh gave her the go-ahead, and she was soon headed up the elevator to Chris’ office. “Fourth door on the left. It should have his name on it,” Josh had added. 

She raised her fist, knocking quickly on the frosted glass. It swung open a second later, a kind-looking man with glasses and salt-and-pepper hair answering. “You must be Cassidy. I’m Chris Cohen, so nice to meet you. Come right in,” he said, ushering her through the room, where several other associates sat at desks, and into his office. 

“David’s always good at keeping an eye out for me in his courses, and I was happy he passed you along,” Chris said, pulling out her resumé. “And you’re a 3L, correct?” She nodded. “Good. So let’s dive right into it. What courses and work experience do you have that you feel best position you for success in this position?” Much though Cass was loath to admit it, if there was anything she was good at, it was talking herself up. There was a reason her high school superlative was “Most Likely to be Able to Talk Their Way Out of a Ticket.” She launched into a well-rehearsed response, making sure to lace in her love for hockey once or twice. If nothing else, it would hopefully at least get her some brownie points. He had a few questions about her resumé, asked about her work on the law review, a few hypotheticals about contract law. She was batting a thousand until he asked the dreaded final question. “Do you have any questions for me?” 

Cass was wracking her brain, trying to come up with some intelligent-sounding thing to ask, but nothing came. “Uh—” she started, but was saved by the bell. Or, rather, saved by a frantic door opening and a panicked-sounding Mat Barzal bursting into the room. “Chris, I’ve got a problem.”