#oops I keep making cute shit

[todayisafridaynight]

My brain is like all over the place but like I haha no uno reversed card my breakup and we're just on break now- one of the things I find funny is that he still wants my updates for y7 so that's fun (I'm not even upset I'm just confused 🧍)

huh

[minomadamu]

Why doesn’t yen press do box sets.

[seungisms]

( skz headcannons ) his favourite ways to kiss you .ᐟ

🖇️📂 … or how skz likes to kiss you inside and outside of the bedroom

genre: smut, minors dni, warnings: unprotected sex, semi-public sex, dry humping, oral (female receiving) note: swear this was meant to be pure fluff but my finger slipped oops 😮‍💨 ngl i got kinda carried away so this is extremely nsfw - sorry, i can’t help myself when it comes to these pussy munchers 

방찬. BANG CHAN

his favourite past time is making out with you

so you best believe he goes all in

no way he’s half assing it

loves slow, lazy makeouts at night when he’s all tired and stressed from work, forgetting all his worries as soon as he gets your pretty lips on his

sits with you on your little worn out sofa, arm slung around the back of it to keep you tucked into his side, jaw working your mouth open

real slow and gentle with it, groaning into your mouth when you nip and sigh cutely against him - hands bunching up his shirt to pull him even closer into you

could sit with you like that for hours

and when you break away to suggest going to bed cause you both have to be up early the next day, he just chases after your swollen lips with a pout on his face, muttering ‘just five more minutes’ before shoving his tongue down your throat again

and five minutes always turns into another half hour with this guy

he just can’t get enough of you :(

FOREHEAD KISSES!!

also loves to give you little pecks on your neck and behind your ear whenever you’re cuddling

and will blow raspberries against your skin like the little shit he is

you better believe he pours every ounce of love he has for you into every little kiss

especially when he has your legs wrapped around his waist with his cock bumping into your cunt

lets out the filthiest groans and grunts into your mouth and doesn’t leave you alone for a minute, eating up all your little gasps for air

you’ll literally have to force this guy off you 

“chan honey, i can’t breathe.”

“i’m sorry 🥺 you just taste so good 🥺🥺🥺”

he’s obsessed

this guy just has to keep his mouth busy or else he’ll go insane

not able to keep his lips to himself

they’ll be attached to your tits, collarbones, neck; literally everywhere, licking and nipping at the pretty skin when you sink down painfully slow on his dick, hitting so deep inside you it knocks the wind out of you

he mostly does it to muffle his needy whimpers, strong arms arms snaking around your waist to pull you even closer to his chest, so close you’re practically one

and with every sink of his teeth in your skin and desperate hump of his hips - nudging his cock even deeper into your tight, hot cunt - has you trembling in his arms, brain cloudy and fogged and full of him

hardly able to do anything but sit pretty on his cock and take it, gasping and whining and clawing at him

until his lips are making their way back up to your neck, pressing a sloppy kiss against your lips just as you finally cream on his length, spurring a few more desperate thrusts of his own until he’s pumping you full

and your sweet little whimpers don’t even get a chance to slip past your lips before they’re being swallowed up by him

extremely gentle with you afterwards, pulling his softening cock out of your warmth and shushing your whine when his cum gushes out of you and onto your thighs

pressing a few more heated kisses against your mouth before they’re back on your chest, kissing the marks he left better

리노. LEE MINHO

good luck getting this guy to kiss you in public

number one hater of pda

loves riling you up and watching as you tug on his arm to get his attention, a cute whine leaving you when he doesn’t so much as spare you a second glance

he just wants to see you beg first :(

but the second he sees a little pout thrown his way and your eyes staring up at him all needy and pretty he’s f o l d i n g

he gets so carried away too

so you won’t be able to even give him a little kiss throughout the day cause as soon as you try to walk away he’s pulling you back flush against his chest, ignoring your protests before planting his lips onto yours - hand stroking the curve of your back making you melt into him

and he loves seeing that dumb fucking look on your face when he slowly pulls away, eyes hyper focused on his lips and itching to kiss them until they’re bruised and swollen and only craving you

“if you’re gonna kiss me at least do it right.”

yeah he just can’t help himself when it comes to you

gets to the point where you’ll have to leave the house without even saying goodbye to him cause you know you’ll end up in his lap with your skirt bunched around your waist, his pretty lips working you up for the next half hour if you do

loses his mind whenever you wear lipgloss

loves the sight of your lipstick stain all over his face whenever you makeout, tasting your strawberry lipgloss on his tongue, sticky and pretty pink

he’s all over them whenever he’s stretching you out nice and good around his cock

quietens your desperate gasps of pleasure with a rough kiss, all open-mouthed and sloppy as he fucks up into you

telling you to stfu or he’ll stop

but you just can’t help yourself when he’s so big and hitting so deep 

he’ll reach down and rub his fingers against your nub as you close in around his length - panting into the kiss as you deepen it even more, tongue pushing into his mouth and lapping up his taste

king of lip biting!!

takes your bottom lip between his teeth when he feels you’re too far gone, eyes unfocused and dazed as you struggle to keep yourself grounded, hands all over his back, arms ass - anywhere you can reach

just to feel

and his little tug on your lips has you coming back to reality, cunt pulsing and hot as he slows inside of you, pulling away just to ask,

“you okay baby? sure you can take what i’m giving you? looks like you’re lost in that pretty little head yours.” and he’s sososo smug about it

you can do nothing but pull him back to your lips, just wanting him to shut up and fuck you like he means it, making him grunt into your mouth as he brings his hips back to their wild pace

likes playing with your clit when he’s inside you too, soaking his fingers up in your wetness just to bring them up to your mouth not a second later

and you just can’t stop bouncing on his cock, moaning lewdly when he shoves them between your lips, kissing and sucking on the digits in desperate need

nearly nuts right then and there when your eyes roll into the back of your head from tasting yourself, pulling them out just to replace them with his mouth - tasting your pussy on his tongue

makes his cock swell up even more 

and it won’t be long until he’s panting your insides with sticky, white ropes of cum

his mouth continuing to eat up your begs

창빈. SEO CHANGBIN

wishes kissing you all day paid a mortgage cause if it did that man would have you TORTURED 

he’s just a simple man

and he has one simple ideology

pretty lips / they’re gonna get kissed

and what is he supposed to do when you have the prettiest lips ever

just begging to be kissed

bro will have your lipgloss LICKED off you

he’s so playful with it

likes to squish your cheeks between his fingers and kiss your pouted lips over and over until you literally have to fight him off

he’s so annoying

the only form of currency this guy accepts is in the form of kisses

YOUR kisses

so if you ever want smth this guy will make you beg for it

doesn’t matter if you’re in public

this fucker gets a kick out of embarrassing you

points at his puckered lips and giggles like a little shit until you finally roll your eyes and give in

and he just can’t help himself but get so lost in the sweet taste of you that he’ll forget you’re in the middle of the fucking mall and full on making out with you

and laughs hysterically when you get scolded by a worker

such a brat istg

but how can you not possibly give him what he wants when he’s looking at you all 🥺

likes kissing you all slow and sloppy on his off days, cozied up in his bed and completely wrapped up in him - his clothes, his arms, his lips coaxing pretty sounds from you

pulls away every now and then just leave a few more tired pecks against your lips - smiling all smitten against them and pulling you even tighter into him

has to keep his lips busy or he’ll crash tf out

l i v e s for fucking you on his studio chair, sweat and gasps filling up your senses as his cock hits all those sweet spongy spots inside you - watching your head loll back and your eyes roll into the back of your skull - and what’s a man to do when the skin of your neck is looking so delicious and kissable

he’ll be groaning and grunting and muttering the most vile shit into the crook of your neck, sweet kisses being placed on your jaw as he soaks up all your sighs

loves seeing your pretty tits all marked up

and can feel himself get hard again when he sees them once he empties himself inside of you

definitely nuts as soon as you mark him up

this man literally makes out with your pussy

all messy and full of spit and cum and he just gets absolutely lost in you

pulls away now and again to kiss the inside of your thigh, leaning his cheek against it after to look up at you

and just loves how easy he’s able to make you fall apart on his tongue

watching your chest heave and hands claw at the bedsheets, looking for anything to ground your fucked out form before his fingers are intertwining with his own, urging you to meet his pretty eyes

“you okay sweetheart? haven’t even got you on my cock yet and look at you.”

and as soon as you nod numbly he’s diving straight back in, nose bumping and leaving hot open-mouthed kissing against your cunt - coaxing all those sobs and whimpers out of you like your pussy was made for him

현진. HWANG HYUNJIN

staying strong on my tease!hyunjin agenda 🗣️🗣️🗣️

likes to brush his lips against your own as if he’s gonna kiss you, only to tut mockingly before pulling back just when you melt into him

just to see the cute way you try to chase his lips with your own

bro thinks its the funniest thing ever when you huff and try to walk away

before he’s pulling you back against his chest and silencing your complaints with a long, needy kiss

and before he knows it you’ve got him completely wrapped around your finger

cause he’s so head empty and all he can think about is the feel and taste of your sweet lips against his own

so when you even try to pull away he’s whining and chasing after you, begging you to just ditch your plans for the day and just makeout with him

and he will not stop annoying you until you finally cave

but if you decide to ignore him and leave him alone he will nonstop call and text you

“baby when are you getting home? i miss youuuu.”

and you just have to laugh cause he’s so unknowingly smitten for you

he just gets so drunk on your lips

if you go over two hours without seeing eachother he’s all over you

those lips will be KISSED believe me

he’s ready for your kiss no matter what

have you seen those lips

that shit is moisturised af

HAND PLACEMENT!!

likes to keep a hand tangled in your hair, titling your head slightly as he works your jaw open even more, breathing deeply and nipping at your bottom lip - his other hand laying flat on the curve of your spine, keeping you pressed tight against him

another to lose complete control, every time you guys makeout it’ll end with him inside you without fail

doesn’t matter where you are

he’s completely unhinged whenever he gets off stage after a performance 

all sweaty and full of adrenaline and soso desperate for you

you swear he’s never looked hotter

he zeroes in on you the second he steps into the room, ignoring anyone and everyone trying to get in his way

and you don’t even have time to congratulate him before he’s pressing into you - a long moan being grunted against your lips the second he gets a taste of you and your sweet mixture of lipgloss and cranberry soda - the hard erection of his cock bumping against your tummy

and he b e g s you to follow him into an empty dressing room or some tightly spaced supply closet, cause he feels like he’s gonna go insane and the feel of your lips moaning and panting against him is enough to work him up even more - bulge pressing hotly in the confines of his pants

bro does not wear underwear so he just whips it out the second he gets you alone

and as soon as he bottoms out inside of you you’re whimpering and withering against the wall he has you propped up on, squeezing your thighs from where they rested on his hips

and he can’t do much to quieten down your begs but press his lips against your own, swallowing up all your cries as he fucks up into you - drunk on the warmth of your hot cunt

“you’re gonna have to be quiet for me pretty girl, don’t want anyone else hearing those cute moans.”

gets so much in his own head and can’t think straight when you’re clamping down on him so snugly

he wouldn’t be able to escape even if he wanted to

so he finds it hard to keep kissing you, telling you to bury your face in his neck to muffle your cries

and there’s just lipstick and bite marks plastered all over him and he just knows his makeup artist is gonna be tearing her hair out tryna cover them all up later

gives you a final long kiss when he cums so deep inside you, grunting like a whore and your name falling off his lips like a prayer as he taints your insides with his seed

he just can’t wait to have you riding his dick later, letting out all those pretty noises you want

한. HAN JISUNG

obsessed 

smitten

head over heels

whatever word there is to describe, its how han jisung feels about your lips

so it’s no surprise he just can’t help himself and keep his lips to himself

THE GOAT OF PDA

he couldn’t give a shit if you’re in public, this guy will sneak in a kiss any chance he gets

and you’ll have to scold him every time cause before you know it he’s completely kissed all your makeup off

but what’s a girl to do when your boyfriend is looking at you all needy and begging for attention

and you just can’t resist cause have you seen this mans lips??

bro is a babygirl and has a babygirl type pout on his face permanently 

he goes too far with it every time though

to the point where the other boys boo and throw imaginary rotten tomatoes at you and tell you to get a room

and he’s just like :)

and drags you away to kiss you some more

his fav activity hands down

hands will be ALL OVER YOU

on your ass, messing up your hair, dipping under your skirt - you name it, his hands are exploring it

and you’ll have to shoo him away every time cause he’ll just get too carried away and try to finger you in public

he’s such a sucker™ for you 

he just about melts whenever you’re the first to initiate a kiss/makeout

he’s all over you 24/7 so to see you chasing after him, all needy and cute whines is a big ego boost

he won’t be able to keep up his smug act for long though before you’re tugging him down by his shirt, an embarrassingly loud groan being choked out against your lips the second he feels your tongue licking and kissing away at him - and you’d roll your eyes at how desperate he’s being if you weren’t so busy tryna slip your hands into his pants

he’s such a needy boy so whenever he gets too overstimulated he’ll beg you to kiss him, his cock all red and swollen in your hand - leaking with precum and just begging you to finally sit on it

and he just wants to stay grounded and focused, his pretty eyes all teary looking up at him, heavy pants into your mouth when you lean down and work his lips open with your tongue

and he’s letting out the sluttiest little whimpers, bucking up into the hand fisted around his dick

small fucked out begs of “please angel, just move your hand, suck me off, sit on my dick - anything. i’ll take anything, just do something.”

and he just sounds so ruined the only thing you can do is smile mockingly against his lips, thumb pressing down on the slit of his cockhead causing him to tremble in your hold

by the time you’re done with him he’s all sticky and used, and he can barely respond to your comforting kiss

whimpering into it when your small praise of “you did so well sungie,” hits his ears

whenever he’s eating you out he’ll leave little pecks against the plush skin of your thighs to work you up, watching the way your pussy glistens so prettily the closer he gets

he’s fucking gone the second he clamps his mouth down on your pussy, eyes rolling into the back of his head and whining as the taste of you invades all his senses

plants a big messy kiss against your cunt before eating you out like a man starved 

someone feed him

필릭스. LEE FELIX

soft boy™

loves loves loves kissing you in the morning

he thinks you’ve never looked prettier

with your hair all disheveled and eyes all sleepy, throwing him a tired smile as you cuddle into his side

and morning breath be damned cause he just can’t help himself from titling your head towards him, humming into your mouth as he leaves a loving kiss against it

doesn’t matter if he as work in an hour, he will take his time loving on you, ensuring every kiss he places is as meaningful as possible

kisses your eyelids, your forehead, your fingertips

anywhere he can reach

the way he kisses you is so affectionate each and every time, as if he’s silently telling you how much he loves you

he knows you have him wrapped around your finger, time slowing to a stop every time his lips come in contact with your own

and he’d rather be no where else, the slow buzz of the traffic outside droning on in the background as his lips capture yours again and again, snuggling you deeper into the sheets

kisses you as if you are both disconnected from the rest of the world

gets soso huffy whenever his phone dings while he’s lost in you, silencing it without even breaking away from you and you’re like

“lix, you were meant to be in work an hour ago.”

“just another minute.”

and you can’t even fight him on it cause his lips are so soft and addicting and you swear you could stay like this all day

literally will only pull away if chan barges in and tells him to get his ass into the studio already

oops

will not regret a thing though

will spend the rest of the day thinking about you and your pretty lips

all over you whenever he’s drunk

literally can’t help himself from kissing you any chance he gets, changbin will have to hold him back - reminding him you’re all in public and it probably isn’t approbate to corner your girlfriend against the wall and kiss her like no ones watching

and he’s just like ‘idccc, i just wanna kiss my pretty baby 😩😩😩”

acts like he’ll die if you don’t kiss him every five minutes

and will not do ANYTHING you ask until he’s rewarded with your sweet lips

gets so giggly and can’t stop smiling into your kisses

he’s so head over heels for you

and it shows in the way he fucks you too

even when he’s stretching you out all nice, he’s still so gentle with it

shushing your cries inbetween heated kisses, and leaving small pecks to the side of your head when he finally buries his cock to the hilt inside you - swearing you’re doing so well for him

extremely vocal

and no matter how much you tell him to stfu cause you’re sharing the dorm with the other boys he just won’t listen

letting out the prettiest mewls when you grind your cunt down onto his cock

so you’ll just have no choice but to eat up his noises, finding it hard to keep up with his needy tongue fucking coupled with the desperate, sloppy thrusts of his hips

could absolutely waste the day away on your lips :(

승민. KIM SEUNGMIN

tries his absolute hardest to keep up his little tsundere act up

but the second you lean into him all teasingly, looking up at him beneath your lashes before planting those sweet lips against his own - he’s kicking his feet and twiddling his thumbs like a fucking schoolgirl 😭

can’t help but hum into your mouth, pulling you even closer against his chest and titling your head up to get better access to your kisses

and when you pull away he wouldn’t be able to fight off the coy smile that takes over his face

until he overhears hyunjin and changbin teasing him about how cute he looks when he’s in love

istg he tries to fight them

and god the amount of kisses it takes to subdue this man is criminal

but you eventually manage to convince him to not murder his hyungs, at least not in public

truly not into your small, little chaste kisses

loves his makeouts to be as hot and messy as possible, just wants to feel you fall apart in his hold

likes it when you take care of him when he’s had a bad day, sitting him down on your sofa and coaxing yourself on his lap

lets his head hang back against the back of the couch and eyes slip shut as your fingers massage through his tangled hair, lips painting his neck in marks before making your way up to his face, kissing away the stressed furrow between his brows

all the while whispering pretty words of praise

and with every kiss you leave against him he can feel the hot stiffening of his cock against your cunt

just loves having you sit pretty for him in his lap, quick to rid you both of your clothes to feel your bare pussy drag against his cock with every hump of your hips, groans and sighs being gasped into your sloppy kiss

and he’s more than happy to eat up every little noise you let you, every whimper from when his dick bumps into your entrance, nipping when you whine a little too loud - making sure to leave them all swollen and bruised with his need

his favourite type of kisses is when you’re stuffed full of cock

his lips will be everywhere all at once, just absolutely depraved and trying to urge more of those needy moans from your parted lips

likes kissing you when you can barely respond, watching in excitement when your eyes loll to the back of your head and tongue hangs slightly out of your mouth, legs trembling and back arching - feeling the tight fit of his dick pressing into his snug walls just begging you to gush around him

gasped whines not even getting the chance to breath before they’re being swallowed by his hungry kisses

bro eats all that shit up!!

and you can barely keep up with all his licking, teasing, biting - too focused on the movement of his hips fucking into you

and he’s sososo mean about it

“c’mon baby, not even gonna kiss me back? think i at least deserve it for making you feel so good.”

“gonna finally kiss me if i make you cum?”

and his words are just so nasty, laughing when you can do nothing but sob so beautifully, the stretch of his cock being just on the verge of a bit too much

but you wanna fight him on it so bad

cutting his laughing short when you drag him down by his dangling chain to press a hot kiss to his open mouth, legs wrapping around his waist even tighter to press his cock impossibly deeper inside of you

and he can’t even help but chuckle into your mouth like the bastard he is, dick finally hitting that familiar spot inside you, so deep and snug it has you twitching around him

and he’ll just keep kissing you as you cum around him

sometimes when he’s being extra mean to you he’ll kiss your forehead after, planting a soft one on your nose then your lips

telling how much of a good girl you were

아이엔. YANG JEONGIN

worships the ground you walk upon istg

sometimes he thinks he’s coming onto you too strong so he tries to hold himself back when he’s kissing you 

but the second you wrap your arms around his shoulders and pull him firmly against you, fingers playing with the small hairs at the bottom of his neck, he just about loses it

always afraid to kiss you first so he leaves it up to you

and god he kisses so good

smiles into it and toys with the end of your pretty little skirt, nipping occasionally at your bottom lip to pull a gasp out of you

and you’re just like 🤨🤨 who taught you to kiss this good mf

genuinely think he’d be the best kisser in skz

he just takes his time with you

makes you feel so comforted and protected in his arms

bro will not leave for work until he makes sure you’ve been kissed all over, no matter how late he is

and he just spends the whole day unfocused, thinking about getting home to you and kissing you until you’re just as obsessed as he is

will n e v e r kiss you in front of the others though

treats you like a homie

guy held your hand once and never heard the end of it

probably got walked in on by changbin or smth while making out with you and got teased relentlessly

didn’t kiss you for a month straight after

he’s such a hermit and wraps himself up in his room all day playing video games

and the only way to get his attention is planting yourself pretty on his lap when he’s lounging on his gaming chair, doe eyes looking up at you all confused and lips parted ready to ask you what tf you think you’re doing before you’re shoving your tongue down his throat 

and you swear his controller nearly broke from how quick he flung that shit to grab fistful of your ass instead

ignoring his teammates shouts over the headset as he dies in whatever fuckass game he’s playing

he doesn’t care, all he can focus on is you, on his lap, working your pretty lips against his own

his kisses become so eager and rushed whenever he’s in the mood

you could be making ramen in the kitchen at 2am and this guy will pop a boner

presses himself up against you, his hard cock fitting perfectly between the crevice of your ass as he leaves sloppy kisses on the back of your neck, working his way up to your jaw

and he’ll never just ask you to fuck, he’ll just grind against you like a little bitch until you finally allow him to finally push your panties to the side and nudge into you

buries his head into the crook of your neck when he bottoms out - planting long kisses against your back from were he has you bent over - all pretty and keening for him

soaking up all your soft gasps and mewls, whimpering a mixture of his name and endless pleas as it all becomes a little too much 

© seungisms - all rights reserved. reposting/modification of any kind is not tolerated.

[ssunnysdream]

big tits reader

🧷 NSFW (18+ minors dni), afab reader, reader has big tits, consensual sex, titfucking (sampo), nipple play (sunday, kaveh), nipple piercing (wriothesley), cuming on tits (wriothesley), they are basically all obssessed with you oops ૮꒰ྀི >⸝⸝⸝<꒱ྀིა

–‧˚꒰💌꒱༘⋆ 𝐀𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐄

"No matter how many times I fucked you, you're still as tight as ever baby... I love your pussy, could spend hours taking care of it" Aventurine's breath is hot, his hips stuttering as you clench around his lenght. "And don't get me started on your breasts..." he moves back from your neck to look down at your bouncing tits, flushed and covered with lovebites. "They're yours to use", you murmur softly as you know Aventurine is obssessed with them. "That's right, all mine." He eagerly grabs your legs, bending you in half, fucking you deeper and harder. He fondles your tits all the while fucking the shit out you, whispering the nastiest words into your ear.

–‧˚꒰💌꒱༘⋆ 𝐒𝐀𝐌𝐏𝐎

"Here you go, you're doing such a nice job for Sampo. I will reward you well, you won't be disappointed", Sampo chuckles breathlessly as he stares down to watch you squeeze his cock between your tits. "You better keep that promise this time", you mumble before squeezing his lenght tighter, earning a surprised gasp from Sampo. Before he could reply something back, you slowly open your shiny lips and swallow his flushed tip, swirling your warm tongue over it to collect all of his salty precum. Sighing in pleasure, you suck the tip all the while working his cock up and down between your tits. Sampo hisses but he simply tightens his grip on your hair, encouraging you for more. And how could you refuse ?

–‧˚꒰💌꒱༘⋆ 𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐃𝐀𝐘

"M-mh fuck... this feeling is delightful my dear", Sunday is struggling to keep his composure as you ride him into oblivion. What's even harder for him is to keep his cool from the sight of your tits bouncing up and down. The urge to grope, to pinch, to lick... Sunday can't stare away, those sinful thoughts leading him to attach his lips on one of your nipple as the other makes its way to grab your breast. The sudden sparks of pleasure is making you slow down, shivers running all over your body. You flush as Sunday stares up at you, "Dearest, why did you stop ? Keep riding me as I take care of your pretty nipples." You oblige, rising your hips up and down over Sunday's cock, his moans muffled as he keeps on nibbling your nipples desperately.

–‧˚꒰💌꒱༘⋆ 𝐊𝐀𝐕𝐄𝐇

"You're gonna be the death of me I swear", Kaveh takes a deep breath before wrapping his arms around you, bringing you closer to admire what you're offering him. Your breasts are covered with a lovely lacy bra, the fabric embracing your clevage and making it look perkier. Kaveh's cock twitches at the thought of gropping them as he fucks you nice and deep. You let out a tiny sob as he lazily traces some patterns over your bra with his skilled tongue, paying more attention to your nipples poking through the thin fabric. Kaveh looks out of it already, eyes filled with arousal and mouth slacked. You widen your legs, giving him more space as he pulls down your bra, your tits on full display for him. "I'm so hard for you baby, feel that ?" Kaveh grinds his covered cock against your pussy. "Got hard just looking at them", he groans as you roll your hips up against him, ready to make him cum just like this.

–‧˚꒰💌꒱༘⋆ 𝐖𝐑𝐈𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐒𝐋𝐄𝐘

Pupils blowed with lust, Wriothesley can't hold back his grunts when all he can focus on his your nipple piercings. The cute jewels making your tits even more gorgeous. And to Wriothesley, it makes them sexier. "Look at you, you're loving this uh ?" he says lowly, twisting your pierced nipple and watching you squirm over his lap. His thick cock streching you open is overwhelming, but so is the constant tug on your perky nipples. "I'm gonna fuck you properly now. Be good for me and pinch them as I destroy that pretty pussy of yours". Your arousal is clearly messing Wriothesley's thighs but he doesn't seem to care as he keeps bouncing you up and down on his lenght, manhandling you like you weight nothing. It soon becomes too much, Wriothesley's cock twitches and he quickly pulls out and pumps his cock over your chest until hot cum spills all over you.

© please do not repost and/or claim my posts as your own

[cryley]

I bought baldur's gate 3 this morning and I'm ready for it to ruin my life

[l3viat8an]

Mammon waking you up by going down on you (with prev consent ofc) or you waking Mammon up with a BJ >_<

Nsfw!

Honestly thought this posted already- cuz it was supposed to be in queue for Mams birthday jsksjsk

I feel like that would happen all the time after you start dating Mammon! I mean he just can’t get enough of you and it is a rather nice way to wake up~

And really some mornings he gets so needy and you look so sweet laying there next to him that he just can’t keep his hands or lips off of you.

At first Mammon was just planning to kiss you, a few kisses down your neck and chest wouldn’t hurt right?- then he starts going lower, moving your clothes out of the way so he can keep kissing your skin, down across your chest and tummy and somehow he ends up between your legs… oops~

You wake up slowly, your mind groggy with sleep and pleasure as your eyes open and all you can see of your boyfriend is a lump under the covers. But as soon as you wake up and start grinding your hips to meet his face a little harder Mammon grabs your hips to pin you back down. At the same time he lifts his head to look up at you, which makes the covers fall back a bit so you can see his face, (his hair is an absolute mess too but that’s not super important :D) a crooked little smirk on Mammon’s face as he sits up enough to press a few more soft and wet kiss across your tummy. Mumbling out “Mornin’ darlin’.” against your skin before he goes right back to what he was doing- making you cum on his face-

He thinks its cute how you try to prop yourself up a bit on your elbows to look down at him and enjoy the show, chuckling to himself as he sucks on your clit just right, that it has your head rolling back and you have to plop right back down onto the pillows because it felt that good.  After all he knows all your sweet spots.

Neither of you talk much but Mammon would praise you for being so good and cummin’ for him, ya should let him take care of ya more often~

Sooo of course it’s only right that you ‘repay him’ wake him up head the next morning.  

Again not hard Mammon almost always has ‘morning wood’ when you sleep in the same bed.

While you’re under the covers tease his tip a bit -trust me- before taking his cock all the way into your mouth.

As soon as you start Mammon’s awake and you can hear all his breathlessly, little moans of “Yea~” and “Oh fuck, yes darlin’, just like that” I’m telling you he can’t keep his mouth shut- “S-shit- Don’t stop fuck.” and even more, “Please- Yea, like that, faster.”

There is a special something -not quite tenderness but that’s the closest word you can think of- to Mammon in these moments. Even as you have his cock in your mouth, even as he groans under his breath and his legs tense. Even as he grabs a handful of your hair and gently pushes you down a little bit to see if you can take him even further down your throat, he’s not trying to be mean but he loves it when you gag on him. Making him moan even louder “Shit- So fuckin’ g-good treasure.” as he cums down your throat.

Maybe it’s the way he smooths over your hair as you swallow his cum. Or maybe it’s the way he starts to pull you up to lay your head on his chest and wraps his arms around you as tightly as he can immediately after. It’s all done with care, as if you’re the most precious thing in his room. And of course to him you are.

(Although if you wanna tease Mammon a little more instead- sit up before he can pull you up and let the covers pool around you as you make a show of licking the last few drops of his cum off your lips ;))

[silentscrying]

🐾 snowprints

vet student!megumi x dog owner!reader

summary: when you find yourself in need of an emergency trip to the local vet clinic, it's late and the sign on the door is flipped to closed. luckily for you, animal science student megumi fushiguro is still around, and he's willing to help you and your dog out—and maybe get a little more than he bargained for in the process. but he's not used to letting people in, and you've never been particularly patient. when winter rolls around, will you be spending the holidays alone?

content/warnings: 20.7k words. complete. sfw. f!reader, you have a dog, megumi has his dogs, they are unbearably cute, megumi doesn't know how to communicate for shit, language, no use of y/n, christmas yay!!, aged up characters, including riko, she's in college, and she's a menace, (light) angst with a happy ending, mentions of deceased parents (typical fushiguro canon), soft, fluff, you know when your sister psychoanalyzes you at the kitchen table, car crash, alcohol, reader studies environmental science but can't keep plants alive for SHIT, so much unnecessary pining, gratuitous overuse of italics and em-dashes

note: this takes place in the same universe as out of my mind, but you don't have to read that to know what's going on here! though it may help with some context. happy hella late birthday megumi fushiguro you will always be famous

PART I // BATMAN & ROBIN

IT’S TEN O’CLOCK and dark when Batman decides to cause problems.

Batman, of course, being your three-year-old German shepherd mix, the one currently whining and staring up at you with big, dark puppy eyes while he holds one paw up limply.

“Oh, little buddy,” you sigh as you squat down in front of him, despite the fact that he hasn’t been little in a very long time. He’s been restless all night, so you caved and took him on a late night walk, and it’s so dark you can’t tell what’s wrong with his paw even in the glow of the phone flashlight.

God, fuck. Where’s the closest vet? The one in the city is definitely closed. You’re fairly certain there’s a smaller one somewhere on the outskirts of the JU campus, though, one that the pre-vet students use for clinicals.

“C’mon, champ,” you murmur, tugging gently on Batman’s leash. “Let’s go get you checked out, huh?”

The early September air is chilly, a little bit of a bite to it. You’re glad the temperatures haven’t yet dropped below freezing, so you don’t need to let your car defrost before going. “Up,” you say, patting the passenger seat with the door held open for Batman.

You punch the clinic into maps and pull out of your suburban street into the busier roads. It’s not far, thankfully, and you make a beeline for the door with Batman on your heels, not noticing until you’re right in front of it that the massive sign hanging on the door is flipped to CLOSED.

“No,” you groan, leaning forward and pressing your forehead to the cool glass of the closed door. You close your eyes, wondering what the fuck you’re gonna do, and then—thump.

You nearly jump out of your skin, eyes flying open and gaze raising to meet the amused eyes of a guy on the other side of the door, who’s trying and failing to suppress a smile that feels a little teasing. Oops.

You step back and wave sheepishly, and the boy unlocks the door and swings it open, taking in the sight of you and your limping dog.

“I’m sorry,” you blurt. “I know you’re closed and it’s some ungodly hour on a Tuesday, I just didn’t know what else to do—”

“It's fine,” he says, waving it off. “I’m just cleaning up, it’s not a hassle. Come on.” Batman has no qualms about following the guy through the open door, so you follow, glancing around the small clinic. It’s pretty sparse, save for the bulletin board overflowing with pet photos on one wall.

“Fushiguro,” the guy says in introduction, glancing back over his shoulder at you. He’s got deep blue eyes that match his dark scrubs, and his hair sticks out every which way in a manner that feels intentional. He must be around your age. It takes you a beat to remember yourself and give him your own name, stuttered out as you pass into the back exam room.

There’s a white coat tossed haphazardly over a spinning chair, and the guy—Fushiguro—picks Batman up like he weighs nothing and situates him on the metal table.

“Hey, bud. What’s your name?” he asks, scratching behind Batman’s ears. Your dog is usually weary of vets, but today his tail pounds on the metal of the table as he raises his head to sniff at Fushiguro’s face.

“Batman.”

Fushiguro’s gaze snaps to you and he blinks, evidently thinking you’re joking. “No.”

“Yes.” You hold your index fingers up above your head to imitate your dog’s pointy ears. “Batman.”

“Oh. My god,” he says. “And what, you’re Robin?”

“I am not the sidekick in this situation.”

“Batman dragged you out here at eleven on a school night. You absolutely are the sidekick.”

You scoff, moving up to the table and stroking Batman’s fur. “Am I just a sidekick to you, little guy?” you coo. “You wanna be a hero so bad?” He noses happily at your palm.

Fushiguro side-eyes you, half-grimacing as he grabs Batman’s paw to look at it. He doesn’t seem to mind, which is honestly a shock. He hates people touching his paws, even you. “You baby talk your dog?”

“You judge your patients?”

“Course not,” Fushiguro says, smirking as he looks back at you. “Just their owners.”

You roll your eyes but can’t help the huff of laughter, and his dark eyes reflect the fluorescent overhead light as he turns away. He’s undeniably attractive—you don’t remember seeing him around campus.

“You go to JU?” you ask, and he nods.

“Sophomore. Pre-vet. D’you?”

“Nah, Kaisen.” Your school is a lot smaller than the neighboring Jujutsu University. They’ve got something of an athletic rivalry with Kaisen College, but you really don’t care. “Environmental science.”

“You know everything there is to know about trees, or what?” His tone is teasing, and you know he doesn’t mean anything by it. The fact is you do know more about trees than normal college students probably should. Doesn’t mean you can keep plants alive for shit, though.

You’d guess there’s actually a fair bit of crossover between your course of study and a pre-vet student’s bio track, but you say, “I specialize in rare long grasses, actually.” It comes out so deadpan that he glances at you, brows knit together, trying to gauge if you’re being serious. You only last a second before you crack under his scrutiny, and he shakes his head and huffs as he turns back to Batman, who is now trying to lick Fushiguro’s nose.

“Excuse me,” he says. This only seems to encourage the dog kisses, but Fushiguro decides to just ignore them. He hums, grabbing a pair of tweezers and squinting as he moves to pull something out of Batman’s paw. “Just a splinter. The pad of a dog’s paw is one of the most sensitive parts of their body, so it’s not surprising he was so worked up about it.” You watch as he pulls out a thin sliver of wood, probably from stepping on some splintering twig, and drops it into a tray on the table.

You watch as your dog drops his paw back to the table and stands up, tail wagging at lightning speed, like nothing was ever wrong. He jumps off the table before Fushiguro can grab him and bounds over to you, rubbing himself along the outside of your leg like a giant cat.

“How much do I owe you?” you ask, pulling out your card, but he waves you off.

“It was literally a splinter.”

“But—”

“Honestly, it’d be more work to boot up the payment system again anyway. Don’t worry about it.” He holds your gaze, and you can’t tell if he’s lying about the payment system or not, but you slide your card back into your wallet without complaint.

Something passes between you, some weird spark of recognition—not that you’ve met before. You know you haven’t. But you don’t typically have this kind of easy banter with strangers. Something about this guy intrigues you, and you don’t particularly want to stop talking to him.

But you’ve already kept him past close, and you need to get home.

The moment breaks when Fushiguro clears his throat, leaning over to grab something off the counter. “Right. Well, give me a call if he starts limping again, but he should be alright.” He holds out a hand and you realize he’s offering you a business card, weirdly professional for a student.

M. FUSHIGURO Veterinary Technician Trainee, JU

His number and email are printed beneath it in small sans serif lettering.

“Oh, you’re fancy.” You raise a brow at him, tucking the card into your jacket pocket. “Thank you. Seriously.”

“Well, who am I to refuse Batman?” he says wryly. He walks you to the door, and you try not to think too much of it—he just needs to lock up behind you, probably.

Before you slip out, he leans down and pats Batman on the head, earning a happy little tail-wag in response.

“Drive safe, Robin,” he calls, and you groan at the nickname as you unlock your car.

At home, you key his number into your phone and save the contact as fushiguro (cute vet). You sit there for way too long debating over whether you should text him—Batman’s fine, and it’s late, and he gave you a business card. Not exactly an invitation to flirt, tempting as that might be.

But you really want to.

“Should I text him?” you ask your dog, who’s decided to curl up right beside your bed and look up at you, waiting for an invitation. Your twin bed is not big enough for this and he knows it, but he always seems to think he’s a smaller dog than he really is.

Batman, unhelpfully, tilts his head at you, his perky ears flapping with the motion.

Maybe it’s because it’s past eleven and it’s dark out and you’re exhausted and you don’t have the best sense of judgment right now. Maybe it’s because Fushiguro’s just really cute.

“You’re right,” you say, nudging Batman with a socked foot. “No use waiting. Say cheese.”

you: [1 Image Attachment] you: gotham city’s savior says thank you

It’s kind of embarrassing how you sit and stare at the screen for two minutes, waiting for him to answer. Batman snorts, like he’s making fun of you, and you lock your phone and toss it on the bedside table. “Oh, don’t start.”

Your roommate and best friend, Setsuko Sasaki, is studying abroad in Japan for the semester. It’s been lonely, strange without her occupying the second bedroom of your little rented townhouse. You’d like to say this is why you’ve resorted to talking to your dog, but that would very much be a lie, because you’ve always done this. Sometimes, when she’s home, Suko adopts a gruff, low voice and answers for him.

You jump when your phone buzzes and make yourself count to three before checking the screen.

fushiguro (cute vet): don’t mention it. always had a soft spot for batman, anyway. fushiguro (cute vet): his sidekick’s alright too.

“Oh, he likes you,” you tell Batman. “Wingman. Thanks, little buddy.”

you: well, send a bat signal if you’re ever in mortal peril and i might show up

After that, you try to push Fushiguro to the back of your mind. He doesn’t go to Kaisen, so it’s not like you can stalk him in the university directory. You have no reason to run into him around town. As the semester ramps up and you fall back into your routine of classes and exams and friends, you don’t think too much about the cute vet tech who happened to be around that one night.

Or, you don’t for a grand total of six days.

You’re on a jog with Batman, afternoon sun making up for the fall chill in the air that’s hung around since it stormed last night. You don’t intend to stop, but Batman abruptly sticks his nose in the dirt about halfway through your run and refuses to move.

“Dude.” You backtrack and see that he’s discovered a couple pairs of dog prints, pressed faintly into the damp earth. “Oh, you smell friends, huh?” He tugs you forward, following the scent of these other dogs. “Hey!”

The thing about having a massive German shepherd mix, even one as docile as Batman, is that he is inarguably a lot stronger than you. So you don’t really have much of a choice but to stumble along after him as he bounds across the grass and comes out on the other side of the path—you don’t normally come this way, because there’s a dog park over here and he gets way too excited.

But today he’s on a mission, and you only see two other dogs in the fenced-in park—two huge balls of fluff, one white and one black. “Fine,” you say begrudgingly, undoing the gate and letting Batman off his leash. “Go play. But we aren’t staying long.”

He bounds off toward the other dogs while you latch the gate behind you, and then a familiar voice has you spinning around with your eyes wide. “Bat signal wasn’t me,” Fushiguro says, raising both hands in a gesture of innocence. “They did it.” He points at the other dogs, who are now engaged in a butt-sniffing circle with yours.

“Fushiguro!” You grin, making your way over to him. Once the other two dogs have deemed Batman a worthy playmate, they move on to you, sniffing at your palms and circling around you until the black one jumps up and nearly knocks you over with the force of it. “Oh, hello!”

“Kuro,” Fushiguro chides, rushing forward to tug at his collar. “Hey. Down.”

“It’s okay,” you promise through a fit of giggles as Kuro tries to basically hug you. “Oh, you’re cute, aren’t you? Hi, Kuro.”

Fushiguro huffs out a breath of relief when Kuro finally gets down. “That’s Shiro,” he says, gesturing to the white dog, who is now chasing Batman around the park. “Think she’s found a friend.”

“He dragged me all the way here,” you tell Fushiguro. “Guess he missed you or something.”

“Just him?”

You grin. “What, you think I was out here pining after you?” He only smirks in response. “I don’t even know your name, M. Fushiguro. What good is a business card without your first name on it?”

He hums, shoving his hands into his pockets, considering. “Guess.”

“Guess,” you echo. “Okay. Um. Michael.”

“Absolutely not.”

“Max.”

“Nope.”

“Um, Maverick.”

“What the hell?” He looks at you with furrowed brows. “Who in their right mind would name their kid—”

“Okay, hey,” you interrupt, holding up your hands. “I just watched Top Gun, okay? What do you want from me?”

“M—”

“Nope, out of tries for today. Three strikes, you’re out.” He shrugs, wholly unaffected, like this is just how the world works and he’s got no say it in whatsoever.

You gape at him, planting your hands on your hips in affront. “I hope you know I will be insufferable every single day until I’m right.”

Batman trots back over, prancing between you and Fushiguro until he crouches down to pet him. “You come here a lot?” you ask, glancing around the empty park. “I’ve never seen you here. Or your dogs. I think I’d remember giant balls of fluff like that.”

“Yeah, not often,” Fushiguro says, pushing back to his feet. “But Kuro’s been so restless all day. Had to let him run his energy down somehow.” The dog in question is chasing his own tail in circles while Shiro looks at him, unimpressed. “You live over here?”

“Few blocks out, yeah.” Your place is between the two campuses, an easy walk to both places because Suko takes Japanese classes at JU. Apparently Fushiguro doesn’t live too far away, either, just on the other side of the skate park where you know your friend Hajime hangs out all the time.

By “hangs out,” you mean he probably (definitely) buys weed there, but that’s not your business. Maybe he and Fushiguro know each other—they both go to JU. But Hajime’s a senior, so probably not.

You don’t get the chance to ask because Fushiguro’s phone rings, and he sighs and answers it with a glance at you that might be apologetic or might be mildly irritated. Hard to tell with him.

“Yeah, that’s fine,” he says gruffly. “Okay. See you.” He hangs up and tucks his phone back into his pocket, then whistles for the dogs. “Time to go.”

“Good to see you,” you blurt before he can turn away. He seems a little taken aback, but you don’t break eye contact, and you think he might be on the brink of a smile.

“You too, sidekick.”

—

After that, the two of you start texting more often, gradually moving from photos of your dogs to real conversation. And you keep your promise to be insufferable about finding out his name. You send him new M-names every day, never seeming to get any closer to the truth. For his part, he refuses to call you anything but Robin, cementing your existence as a superhero sidekick and nothing more.

you: new theory you: the M stands for mr you: monsieur you: m’lord

He dislikes the messages in response, and you send him a teary-eyed emoji and hope the guilt is enough to get him to tell you.

It is not.

You and Fushiguro are in some sort of convoluted orbit around one another, sometimes colliding, sometimes drifting away. There’s really no reason you should keep stumbling across him, considering you go to different schools, live in different places, study different things.

But after that first day at the dog park, you might take Batman there a little bit more often.

Every time you talk, Fushiguro starts to take up more and more headspace. You find yourself searching for his flash of ink-dark hair, spiky and disheveled, in every crowd. Every set of fading prints in the grass or mud might be his, might be Shiro’s or Kuro’s. It’s stupid, how much you’re thinking about this boy.

At some point you start dragging your friends out to the coffee shops between your two campuses to do work, rather than the one in the student center. You justify it to yourself with the half-assed excuse that if you run into your friends less, you’ll get more work done, but really you’re just hoping he’ll be there. And your friends are happy to oblige, especially Riko, if it means she’ll get a glimpse of this mystery vet man you don’t shut up about.

Riko’s a year below you at Kaisen, but you know her from back home. She’s a frenetic ball of energy and indignation, and she’s fully prepared to go to every coffee shop in a ten-mile radius for the purposes of what she calls “the mission.”

But the coffee at the second place you try is actually god-tier, and you wind up there regularly after that, hunkering down to grind out your assignments in your spare time. It’s there that he finds you, sliding into the seat right across from yours so abruptly that you nearly fall out of your chair—your noise-canceling headphones really block out the entire world. He smirks as you sheepishly tug them down around your neck, glaring.

“Warn a girl, Jesus!”

“I did,” he drawls, taking a sip of his coffee. “Twice.”

“Boo.” You kind of forgot about your own drink because you were so into your work, and you pick it back up now, mostly for something to do with your hands. “Well, hi. What’re you up to?”

“Same as you, I think.” He nods at your laptop. “Mind if I hang out here?”

“You certainly can, but you’ve just stolen someone’s seat and you might have to fight for your life when she gets back from the bathroom.” His eyes widen almost imperceptibly, and as if on cue, Riko is beelining toward the table from across the room.

“Well hello, Mr. Seat Thief. Pleasure to make your acquaintance.”

Fushiguro seems to be gauging Riko, and you realize this is kind of the first look he’s gotten into your private life outside of your dog, and you’re irrationally nervous about it. But he scoots over and grabs a chair from the next table over, giving Riko a mocking bow in response.

“Better?”

Riko nods, and then grabs his coffee and takes a long drag out of it. He doesn’t object, and that should have been your warning—you can see when the bitterness of it hits her all at once, her face twisting in some combination of shock and despair and mild outrage.

“Oh my god,” you say as Riko grabs her water bottle and chugs to get the taste out of her mouth, aggressively shoving Fushiguro's coffee back toward him. “Of course you drink coffee black, you fucking loser.”

“What, you dump six cups of sugar in yours? That’s not coffee.” You flip him off instead of justifying this with a real response.

“I was gonna use that as payment for your crimes,” Riko gasps dramatically, leaning over the table, “but I was instead punished. You’re in my debt now.” She glares at him fiercely, turning up her nose, before abruptly abandoning the bit and grinning at him. “I’m Riko, by the way.”

He snorts, but a very small hint of a smile appears in a corner of his mouth. “Fushiguro.”

Riko nods and glances from him to you, as if to say really? This guy? You can already hear the analysis she’ll be giving you on the way home. Easy on the eyes, I get it, but does he like, have a personality?

“I did research,” you tell Fushiguro, nudging Riko’s shin under the table in warning. “On you.”

“You stalked me online, is what you’re saying.” You’re learning that he’s not a very expressive person. He treats laughs and smiles like rare currency, and everything you need to know about what he’s thinking is in the tiniest shifts—a downturned brow, a blink, a tilt of the head. You’re still learning, but you like to think you’ve got it down enough to know that this doesn’t actually bother him, despite the resting angry face.

“Yes,” you say, shameless. “Except when I typed in Fushiguro and your school, I got all these results for the editor of your campus paper. You have a sister?”

If he’s surprised, he doesn’t show it. “Tsumiki, yeah.”

He doesn’t offer more, so you push. “Older?” You already know the answer, but best let him believe the depth of your internet stalking is shallower than it really was.

“Two years. She’s a senior.”

“Cool. I don’t know a ton of siblings that go to the same school.”

“You’d be surprised,” he sighs. “My cousin and her twin sister both go there, too. And one my roommates’ half-brothers.”

“Convenient, I guess,” you concede. “Sibling discount or something?”

“Nah, but it was easier this way,” he says, pulling a textbook out of his bag. “Go—uh, our legal guardian works around here anyway.”

Riko raises a brow but doesn’t ask, which is a remarkable show of restraint for her.

Legal guardian. Parents aren’t in the picture, then. You want to ask but you don’t, not yet.

The three of you buckle down and get some work done, casually exchanging conversation over the next few hours, and eventually Fushiguro has to head out. “Rehearsal,” he says.

“Rehearsal?” Riko asks, glancing at you as if you know what he’s talking about. You don’t, but you have some absolutely ridiculous mental image of Fushiguro in choir and you almost laugh out loud.

But he just says, as if it’s nothing at all, “Oh, yeah, I’m in a band.”

“What?” you nearly shout, jumping out of your chair so fast it pushes across the floor with a scrrcck. “You’re in a band? You didn’t think to tell me this before? What’s it called? Can I listen—”

“Nope.”

“But—”

“Nice to meet you, Riko,” he says loudly, cutting you off as he slings his bag over one shoulder. He mock-salutes you, two fingers to his brow as he turns to go. “Robin.”

You sink back into your seat and watch him leave, only turning back to Riko when the door swings closed. She opens her mouth and you hold out a hand. “Don’t start.”

—

At some point you start calling, letting yourself fill the silence of your little townhouse with idle chatter as he listens. He’s not one for small talk, you learn, and he’s a good listener. And he pays attention. He remembers the stupid little details you give him, the names of classmates and professors you can’t stand.

“Katie from Ohio?” he asks when you’re ranting one day about the partner you’ve been assigned in enviro. “We don’t like her, correct?” We.

“We do not.” Katie from Ohio does not pull her weight in group projects, and it’s driving you up the wall.

“You tell your prof about it? Isn’t this your favorite one?”

“Yeah, he is,” you groan. Haibara teaches your conservation bio class, and he also taught ecology your freshman year, and he’s the best teacher you’ve ever had. “But no. I don’t want to bother him about it. It’s whatever.”

He hums, unimpressed. “Is it?”

You groan, feeling like you’re getting lectured by your parents. You hate when other people are right. “You want me to talk to him.”

“I’m just saying, if you get a shit grade and it’s Katie’s fault, don’t come crying to me.”

“I will, though,” you say, putting your phone on speaker and setting it on the counter while you pour dog food into Batman’s bowl. “It’ll be super dramatic. I’ll sob in your arms and everything.”

He snorts. “Talk to your prof, Robin.” You stick your tongue out like he can see you.

But you do talk to your prof, and Haibara is your favorite for a reason. Katie gets a shit grade. You do not. Fushiguro does, in fact, say “I told you so.”

By mid-September, you still have no idea what Fushiguro’s first name is. You’re at the end of your rope.

you: GOOD MORNING MASON fushiguro (cute vet): no. you: MORT fushiguro (cute vet): no. you: why don’t you want me to know. is it crazy you: melvin fushiguro (cute vet): NO. you: marie you: meghan fushiguro (cute vet): … you: well, that’s it you: i’m calling you maleficent until you tell me you: i’m gonna do it in public too you: so loud

INCOMING CALL: FUSHIGURO (CUTE VET)

You don’t greet each other when you pick up—you never have. Instead, Fushiguro just says, “You could’ve picked like, ten other Disney characters and you went with Maleficent?”

“Don’t hate. You’d rather be Mufasa? Boy’s dead.”

“Oh my god.” Everything Fushiguro says sounds long-suffering. You wonder what it sounds like when he laughs, really laughs, if those walls ever break down and he lets himself actually outwardly express his emotions.

“I can call you Mickey Mouse if you really want—” Batman starts barking from his spot at the window, and you groan, waving your hand at him pointlessly as you try to get him to stop. “Hey! No! There is nothing outside, what are you on about?”

“He probably just thinks you’re barking with him,” Fushiguro says unhelpfully.

“Oh, and yours don’t bark out of turn?”

“Not really.”

Now that you think about it, you actually aren’t sure you’ve ever heard Shiro and Kuro bark aside from excited greetings at the dog park. “What the fuck, dude? Do they teach you the secrets of the trade in vet school?”

“Nah, I’m just a natural.” He says it so deadpan you aren’t sure if he’s joking or actually being cocky.

“Come over and help, then,” you say, before you can think it through. It’s a Saturday night, and clearly neither of you have anything better to do.

You aren’t sure what exactly you’re expecting him to say, but for some reason you’re surprised when he just responds, “Okay.”

“Bring the dogs.” You text him your address, and half an hour later he shows up with the dogs in tow. Meeting him at the door, you see his car parked along the curb. It’s small, black, as unreadable and practical as everything else about him.

“That,” he says, pointing to the long-deceased cactus in the pot on your front stoop, “is dead.” Probably because it’s been there since August and you forgot it was there after one week.

“Yes, thank you, very astute.”

“Isn’t keeping plants alive your whole thing? What are they teaching you?”

“Okay.” You start to close the door, but Shiro bounces forward and noses between it excitedly, and you laugh, opening it to let her and Kuro in. “Be nice,” you warn Fushiguro, letting him step inside. He rolls his eyes as he passes, and Batman nearly knocks him over with how excitedly he leaps up to greet him.

He’s also barking, and you raise a brow at Fushiguro expectantly. “Okay, Dog Whisperer. Do your thing.” You close the door behind him, and in the two seconds that you’re turned away, Batman fucking stops barking.

You whirl around, planting your hands on your hips, and find Fushiguro kneeling in front of your very silent, very happy dog.

“What the fuck.”

He looks up at you with the most smug expression on his face, and you throw up your hands in exasperation.

“Hey, don’t pout about it,” he teases, standing and following you into the living room. “That’s what you wanted.”

“I wanted you to teach me how to make him stop, but apparently you just slipped him treats behind my back.”

“Insult to my talents,” he says, hesitating when Kuro leaps onto your couch. “Are they allowed—”

“Ah, yeah, it’s fine.” Batman follows suit. “Got enough dog hair on that couch to make another couch, probably.”

You suddenly find you don’t really know what to say. Because Fushiguro is here, in your house, on a Saturday, your dog is not barking, and you’re alone. Alone with a guy you are very much attracted to. Suddenly you just don’t know any of the words in the English language.

But Fushiguro seems entirely at ease. He always does, really. There’s a quiet sort of confidence about him, and you aren’t sure if it’s fabricated or not. He just looks like he belongs wherever he is, nonchalant about everything.

“Done any more stalking?” he asks, sitting next to Shiro on the floor. You flush a little, feeling weirdly caught out when you aren’t the one bringing it up.

“No, but I might if you don’t tell me more about this band of yours.”

He shakes his head, absently playing with Shiro’s fur. “Just a crazy idea my housemates had. We just practice in the basement. Probably not very good.”

You opt to sit on Shiro’s other side on the ground, and Batman uses the opportunity to lick you directly in the face, since he’s on the couch and you’re now eye-level. “Thank you,” you tell him dryly, shoving his snout away.

“Don’t get humble now,” you tell Fushiguro. “What do you play? Or do you sing?” You really can’t imagine him singing. Everything about this guy screams quiet bass player.

Apparently you’re right. He won’t tell you the name of his band, and allegedly he doesn’t have any gigs this month, so you let it drop—but only for now. “Cagey,” you accuse him, but you’re smiling.

You talk about your courseloads for the semester—his is pretty bio and anatomy-heavy this semester where yours is mostly ecology and conservation-focused, but there’s a bit of overlap in your curriculum, and you find that it’s easy to make conversation about your respective career paths, even though he won’t stop bringing up the fact that you managed to kill a cactus.

“They’re notoriously hard to kill,” he drawls. “Did you try to?”

“No!” You cross your arms over your chest indignantly. “Mean.”

“Honest and mean aren’t the same thing.”

You don’t really notice the sun going down until the living room is swathed in shadow and you have to flip on the floor lamp. It’s been hours by now, but it’s felt like minutes. Every thing you learn about Fushiguro opens up ten new lines of questioning, and you want to know so much more about him. But he shrouds himself in this mystery you can’t seem to get around.

Eventually you stand up to grab snacks from the kitchen, and when you return you find Batman practically on top of Fushiguro, licking his face while Fushiguro just takes it. Cute, you think uselessly.

Batman. But also Fushiguro. And also just the sight of Fushiguro playing with your dog and looking entirely at home on your shaggy living room floor. Fuck, he’s really cute.

“Have you always had dogs?”

He shakes his head as he sits up and nudges Batman off of him, gaze going just a little distant. “Not ‘til I was a teenager.” There’s more there.

“Your idea? Tsumiki’s?”

He shrugs it off, picking at loose threads on his sleeve that don’t exist, some nervous tic he’s developed that seems to only show up when you try to talk about him. Hence, shroud of mystery.

Like you gathered at the coffee shop, his parents aren’t in the picture—dead or absent, though, you’re not sure. He does tell you a little bit about his legal guardian. His name’s Gojo, and according to Fushiguro he is certifiably insane. He says this enough that you know he means it fondly—if he didn’t, he just wouldn’t bring Gojo up at all.

It shouldn’t be possible to talk so much and learn so little, but the hours keep slipping by and finally neither of you can hide the yawns punctuating your conversation. “I should go,” he says, and you reluctantly lead him to the door, crouching to say bye to Shiro and Kuro before you open the door.

“Drive safe, Fushiguro.”

You don’t expect him to respond, but he pauses halfway down your drive, turning to look at you over his shoulder. The moon is out now, and it casts him and his dark clothes in silver. You suddenly find you can’t look away.

Not that you really want to.

“Megumi,” he says.

“What?”

“My name.” He swallows, looking away quickly before looking back. “You can call me Megumi. If you want.”

Chill. Be chill, you tell yourself, trying to school your features into that same neutral expression Fushiguro—Megumi—always has, but you know it’s not working. You can’t help but smile. You feel, weirdly, like you’ve earned something.

“Okay,” you say, leaning on the doorjamb. “Megumi.”

Megumi.

You do one last little bit of internet stalking that night, because you just want to know.

His name means blessing.

—

Everything about Megumi’s house speaks to the collision of three wildly different college-aged boys tempered by the saving grace of one girl.

Remotes for a range of gaming consoles are sprawled across the floor, there are way too many half-empty bags of Doritos, and you’re pretty sure there’s just a single half of a drumstick stuck between two of the couch cushions. But there are also nice, dark tapestries pinned to the walls, string lights bordering the room, a couple plants that are better-kept than any of yours have been.

You know very little about Megumi’s three housemates except that one is a golden retriever in human form, one is a skater boy, and one is a senior named Kirara who somehow keeps them all in check.

“Sorry for the mess,” he says, gesturing at the controllers and chip bags that honestly don’t constitute a mess in your book. Not after all the boys’ dorms you’ve seen, including Hajime’s.

“I like it,” you say honestly. “Also, it smells good in here. I’m proud. Kirara?”

“Kirara.” He nods and leads you to the couch, where you confirm that yes, that’s a broken drumstick.

“I don’t even—Jesus,” Megumi says, pulling it out of the gap between the cushions and tossing it onto the low coffee table. “He breaks more of these than I think is normal.”

“He being skater boy or golden retriever?” you ask as you tug your legs onto the couch to sit cross-legged, facing him. You dragged Batman with you—Megumi said his dogs would appreciate the company—and he’s taken it upon himself to sniff every corner of the house before deeming it suitable for playtime.

“Golden retriever. His name’s Yuji. Skater boy is Ino.” None of his housemates are here—it’s a random Thursday afternoon and the two of you happened to not have classes after two thirty.

“How’d you meet them?”

“Kirara went to my high school, so I knew her before coming here. I knew Ino too, actually. Yuji—I don’t know that anyone really meets him so much as gets forcibly adopted by him?” He somehow manages to make his scoff sound affectionate. “Him and our friend Kugisaki. They’re crazy, but we were all in the same orientation group freshman year.”

“Your friends sound fun.” You like the idea of two outgoing freshmen just deciding Megumi had to be their friend. “How’d you know Ino?”

He tugs at the sleeve of his black henley, picking at a nonexistent string. There’s a bit of a pause before he says, “His—I don’t know, his mentor? Nanami, he knows Gojo. So he was around sometimes.”

You don’t really know what to ask, simply because there’s so much to ask. It doesn’t take a detective to know there’s a lot to unpack in Megumi’s past. “How long have you been…” What’s the proper term for this? “Has Gojo been around, like… since you were a kid, or...?”

Despite your attempt to catch his gaze, Megumi’s eyes are trained on the far wall. “Kind of. Yeah.”

When he doesn’t elaborate, you fight to keep your lips sealed, to not push. You don’t have a right to his past. He can tell you if he wants to. But you’ve always been impatient.

And it’s starting to become a pattern, this strange caginess about his own life. His family, his friends. Every so often he lets something slip, and then it’s like you can see the doors in his mind slam shut—six deadbolts holding you out.

You know a little bit about Gojo, but that’s where the information stops. You drop hints that you want to meet Tsumiki, and whether he’s protective or just too oblivious to pick up on them, you can’t tell.

Maybe, then, the issue is that you haven’t given him much either. He’s met your dog and Riko, but maybe you need to offer him more of yourself before he’s comfortable reciprocating.

So you do. You tell him about your family, sitting on his couch with Shiro at his feet and Batman between you, Kuro unable to sit still. He listens while you talk, unsettlingly attentive eyes intent on you. You live about a half-hour drive away from your parents' place, you tell him, though you don’t go home often.

“It’s not that I don’t like my family,” you sigh, leaning back into the couch cushions and stroking Batman’s fur. “It’s more just that they’re never there, always on business, wrapped up in their own shit. So there’s just… no reason for me to stick around, except a couple times a year on holidays.” You shrug. “At least here it’s not an empty house. Or it’s not usually. When my roommate’s not in fucking Japan.”

“At least Japan’s cool,” he says, shrugging.

You sit up, leaning toward him. “You’ve been?”

He shrugs. “Yeah, once. Gojo said Tsumiki and I weren’t allowed to hit sixteen without having been on a stupid-long flight somewhere. Which sounds insane, but that’s pretty standard Gojo logic for you, I guess.”

“That’s so cool,” you sigh, part of you wishing you could be on a stupid-long flight right now. On the way to somewhere warm, preferably. Fall is starting to give way to an early winter, and you’re not looking forward to running Batman in the cold.

Travel, at least, seems to be a safe topic, and the two of you trade stories about road trips and flights and different cities. You challenge Megumi to Mario Kart at some point and immediately regret it, because why is he so good?

After he thoroughly kicks your ass, you sink back into conversation, walk the dogs, and eventually part ways so you can get some work done.

megumi (cute vet): you know when somebody says they’ll text you when they get home megumi (cute vet): and they don’t? you: SHIT SORRY megumi (cute vet): you’re not dead. you: NOPE you: sorry i got back and then batman knocked over a lamp megumi (cute vet): you don’t have to cover for his vigilantism, sidekick. i already know.

You do feel bad for forgetting to text him, but part of you is a little warmed by the fact that he was worried. Not that he’d ever admit to being worried about anyone, except maybe a dog.

you: okay fine he was stopping a robbery you: happy? megumi (cute vet): depends on what they were trying to steal

The work on your desk says you should stop texting and buckle down on your assignments, but he starts teasing, and you start feeding into it, and then you’re on the phone again, and by the time you finally hang up it’s too late to reasonably get anything done.

You can’t say you’re particularly upset about it.

—

The semester ramps up quickly, and you’re drowning in work. That’s your excuse when your basil plant by the kitchen sink dies a week after you bring it home—you’re just busy.

Megumi notices, and the next time he’s over a rosemary plant mysteriously appears in its place. He denies any involvement.

When you aren’t with Riko or Hajime, on the phone with Suko, or hanging out with friends from class, you’re with Megumi. His place, your place, the dog park, the coffee shop. It hasn’t reached a point where your friends comment on how much time you spend together (except Riko, who has a loud opinion on everything and does not care if other people don’t want to hear it), but you like the hours you steal during the week just walking around or drinking coffee or trading idle conversation.

You even visit him at work one Sunday when the clinic is slow, watching him handle the few dogs and single cat that come through. He’s easygoing with the clients and has that same calming effect on every animal—like he speaks some secret language, understands them in a way other people don’t. You love watching him like this.

You like this guy. It’s not rocket science—you put him in your contacts as “cute vet” the day you met him. The hard part is that Megumi is too difficult to read. If he has feelings for you, you have no idea. You don’t think he’d go out of his way to spend time with someone he didn’t genuinely like, but whether it’s platonic or not is so fucking over your head.

Until you finally meet one of his friends.

It’s Riko’s doing, really. The two of you are at the coffee shop when she strikes up a conversation with a redhead in line, and it doesn’t take long for her to make the connection, probably because they’re both talking ten miles a minute and not holding anything back.

“Oh my god!” Riko screeches, turning to you after you place your order. “Hey! This is Nobara. She’s friends with Fushiguro.”

She beams at you. “How do you guys know Fushiguro?”

Riko answers for you. “The vet. She has a dog, the clinic was closed, he was there. It was probably super romantic.” You groan.

Nobara’s mouth forms a small O and then she says, “Ah, you must be the sidekick.”

You can’t stifle your laugh. “He even calls me that when he’s talking to other people?”

She laughs, shaking her head. “No, he doesn’t tell anyone anything. Ever. But that’s what you’re in his phone as, and I saw his screen before he could hide it.” She leans in conspiratorially. “He won’t tell us who you are, which means he’s into you, y’know that, right?”

“Um. Is he? I don’t really—”

“Girl,” Nobara says flatly. “He doesn’t talk to people. Yuji and I have to force that guy out of the house half the time. If he’s hanging out with you, it’s because he likes you. Not that he knows that, probably. He’s horrible at feelings. I offered to give him a free therapy session and he said he’d rather become a monk.”

Riko mutters something about how that wouldn’t be too far off from whatever aesthetic he has going on right now, but you’re hung up on something else—Yuji and I.

“Oh my god,” you say, realizing something. “You’re Kugisaki.”

Her entire face lights up and she bounces on the balls of her feet. “He told you about me?” she squeals. “Ooh, he does love me! I’m gonna give him so much shit! What did he say? Was it good?”

The three of you end up talking for half an hour, after you all get your coffee and find an empty table. Nobara talks a mile a minute, but you can’t help hanging on to every word she says—she has a lot to say about Fushiguro, and you feel like you might be learning more about him this way than from the numerous conversations you’ve had with him.

She lives down the street from his place. She knows Gojo, who is apparently exactly the way Megumi described him—loud and eccentric and kind of stupid, but a guy who obviously loves his kids. She and Yuji, true to Megumi’s recollection, basically forced their friendship upon him on the first day of school, and they’ve been a trio ever since.

“He doesn’t tell anyone shit,” Nobara says, echoing her own words from earlier. “I feel like I probably know more about him from Gojo than anything. Or reading his notifications over his shoulder.” She smirks. “But he’s a good guy. I wouldn’t put up with his shit if I didn’t mean that.”

“About—what you said earlier, about him… maybe having feelings for me,” you start.

“Definitely having feelings for you,” she corrects. “Whether he knows or not? Undetermined.”

“Right. Uh.” You don’t get the idea that Nobara is a person you ever want to argue with. “Could you not… mention anything about that? To him?”

She sighs. “Course I won’t. Y’know, the guys always say I can’t keep my nose out of things, but two of my roommates have been in love for years and haven’t done anything and I haven’t said a word. Even though it sucks out part of my soul every time they’re in a room together and they just stare longingly when the other one isn’t looking. They’re so stupid.”

“You and Fushiguro are also stupid,” Riko says helpfully. You glare at her, and she throws her hands up in exasperation. “What? You like him, right? You can’t look me in the eyes and say you don’t like him.”

“He is a good friend,” you say, feeling the burn in your cheeks give you away even before Riko starts cackling.

“I like you,” Nobara tells her, sizing her up. “I might regret saying this, but I think I need you to meet one of my housemates. You could be chaos goblins together. I feel it in my bones.”

Riko rubs her hands together like she’s plotting something, and you think you should probably keep her as far away from said housemate as possible.

Eventually, Nobara pushes to her feet, draining the rest of her coffee and slinging her bag over her shoulder. “I gotta go, but I’m so glad I ran into you. I feel like a spy, knowing Fushiguro’s secret girlfriend.” She wiggles her brows at you, and you don’t bother denying it, just burying your head in your hands instead. “You guys should give me your numbers. I can give you Fushiguro intel.”

Riko immediately accepts Nobara’s phone. You wonder how Fushiguro will feel about all this—fond exasperation seems like the default emotion when it comes to his friends. But you give her your number, waving goodbye as she skips out the door, and lean back, thinking as Riko immediately starts to tease you about your boyfriend-not-boyfriend and how at least he has cool friends, even if he doesn’t have a personality.

You just keep looking out the window, trading snarky comments with Riko as it gets dark—earlier now, at the end of September.

“Are you ever gonna tell him?” Riko presses. “I don’t wanna watch you pine for the next six months.”

“We haven’t even known each other that long,” you insist, tracing patterns aimlessly on the tabletop. “And I don’t… I don’t know. I kind of want him to be the one to say something. Because if Nobara’s wrong and he isn’t actually into me, I could fuck everything up—”

“Isn’t actually into you?” Riko exclaims. “Oh. My god.” She waves a hand in front of your eyes. “Can you see? Do you need to get your vision checked? Do you—”

“Okay!” you laugh, swatting her hands away. “Message received, Jesus. Chaos goblin was right.”

“I wear that as a badge of honor,” Riko says solemnly.

Yeah. She can never meet Nobara’s housemate.

—

It’s a Wednesday, and you and Megumi are walking back to your place from the dog park. His car’s at your house, and the dogs have just had a very high-energy playdate that hopefully knocks them out for the night. The air is chilly and the sky dimming, and everything about it feels immaculately fall.

That’s where your conversation has ended up—the upcoming fall break, which is really just a Friday where neither of your campuses have classes. A three-day weekend really shouldn’t be called a break, you think. It’s misleading.

“You’re not going home?” he asks, and you sigh, shaking your head.

“Parents won’t be home. Not really much of a point.”

“We could—” He clears his throat. “We can hang out that weekend if you want. If you need the company.”

“You’re not going home either?” You glance over at him, a little puzzled. “Like—to Gojo’s?” His lips become a thin, tight line, and you wonder if you’ve somehow crossed some invisible boundary. You’re about to tell him he doesn’t have to talk about it if he doesn’t want to, despite being on the brink of insanity because he doesn’t tell you anything, ever.

But then he says, “He’s a bartender. Not around weekends, usually.”

“Ah.” Nobara mentioned that.

You did tell Megumi about running into Nobara in the coffee shop, and he immediately looked like you told him that you hung out with Gojo and saw all his baby pictures.

“She’s nice!” you insisted, and he sighed, raking a hand through his hair.

“She has no filter.”

“She’s fun.”

“She’s Kugisaki.” He shrugged. “Learn anything interesting?”

You told him about your conversation, minus the whole feelings thing, and he agreed that Riko and Toge Inumaki should never, ever meet. “For the good of the entire world,” he said solemnly. “People would die, Robin.”

Now, as the two of you turn onto your street, he glances at you like he’s trying to find something. And maybe it’s how tired you are, maybe it’s the way his eyes look so bright even though they’re so dark, maybe it’s that weird streetlight-night aura that makes everything feel a little bit not real, but you find yourself studying him right back, meeting his gaze without shame.

You want to know him, to be a part of his life in the way he’s become a fixture in yours. You want to meet his housemates. You want to meet his sister, his family. You want him to open the door and stop acting like you’re going to rob him or something the second you get inside. He knows you better than that, right?

He blinks, and you smirk. “I win.”

“Wh—that was not a staring contest.”

“It’s okay,” you tell him sympathetically. “You can’t be good at everything.”

His laugh—his��real laugh—isn’t anything like you thought it’d be, but somehow it’s even better. It transforms his whole face, some blink-of-an-eye shift that lights up his eyes and makes everything about him brighter, louder.

You want to make him laugh like that again. As often as you can, really. Always.

“What?” he asks, staring at you, the light lingering in his eyes, some sort of afterimage of his joy.

“I just—I like your laugh.”

He stops, and you realize you’ve reached the end of your driveway. You drop Batman’s leash and let him run around the yard, and Megumi’s dogs follow suit, knowing better than to go far.

“I like your laugh, too,” he says, a crooked smile spreading across his face. And somehow that feels more like a confession than anything he’s ever said to you.

You’re very close.

He’s leaning in and you’re almost subconsciously reaching up to meet him, heels leaving the ground, and he’s still got the slightest curve of a smile lingering on his lips, and—

“Oh!” Shiro jumps on you from the side, tail wagging excitedly.

When you look back up at Megumi, laughter on your lips, his smile is gone, and he’s looking away, hands shoved in his pockets.

“Megumi—”

“That’s my cue,” he says, a forced-sounding chuckle punctuating the sentence. “I should, um. Get back.”

“Oh. Um, right. Yeah. Totally.” You’re kicking yourself now, feeling stupid, foolish. Did you just mess this whole thing up? Was it too soon? Did you read it wrong?

Megumi opens the back door of the car and lets the dogs hop in before circling around to the driver’s seat. “Robin…”

You look at him, trying to squash the hope adamant in your chest. And he looks like he doesn’t know what to say, for a moment, his lips parting and then closing and his eyes darting around before they finally land on you again. “Night,” he says quietly.

“Night, Megumi.” You lift a hand in a half-wave. “See you.”

Batman stares at the street long after the car has disappeared around the corner, and so do you.

“Fuck,” you murmur, and then again, louder, “fuck.”

—

Megumi’s texts over the next week are less frequent and more distant—at least, you think so. Maybe you’re getting too in your own head about it.

From then on, he’s pretty quiet. You wonder if you fucked up. You haven’t talked about it, the kiss. Almost-kiss. Your texts start getting fewer and far between, and in the chaos leading up to midterms you almost don’t notice. Almost.

Lots of almosts, lately.

you: still on for break?

Part of you expects him to go back on his word, say something came up. Especially when he takes a half hour to respond. He’s just busy, you tell yourself. Stop being dramatic.

megumi (cute vet): your place at 5, right?

“Oh,” you say aloud to nobody but Batman, smiling a little. Well, that’s good. You can ask him what’s been on his mind lately. He just seems… preoccupied.

When break rolls around, you spend Friday out with friends and Saturday catching up on schoolwork until Megumi comes over. You’ve hung out so often—you don’t know why you’re nervous.

And it seems contagious. He still shows up at your door and immediately picks up a conversation you left off on the last time you texted him, but he just seems slightly out of reach, somehow. You let it slide for about twenty minutes before you sit him down on the couch and ask.

“Okay. What’s going on with you?”

“What?” You don’t know if he’s playing dumb or just actually doesn’t realize he’s been acting strange.

“You’ve been… look. You’re acting weird. And I feel like we need to talk about whatever happened last week.”

The ensuing silence makes you want to take it back, or say something else, or do anything to create sound in the little bubble of waiting that's formed around the both of you. But you make yourself wait. Give him the space to find words.

“I guess… there is something I wanted to talk to you about,” he says suddenly, flatly, without looking at you. Your mouth slams shut and you find yourself drawing back a little, the remoteness of his voice almost physically distancing.

“Uh,” you say, like the eloquent person you are. “Okay?”

He swallows once, hard, and he looks at you with so much reluctance you almost wish he’d just look away. Your heart is twisting itself into knots.

“I think we should… take a step back.”

“What?” you whisper. “What do you mean?”

He sighs, raking a hand through his hair. “I mean—this is going… do you want a relationship?”

The question feels so abrupt you’re momentarily shocked into silence. But you know where he’s going.

He doesn’t want this. Doesn’t want—you. And it hurts more than you thought it would. It’s not so much a sharp stabbing sensation as a thousand needles worming their way into the crevices of your heart, slow and numerous and deadly.

Because you do want this. You want him.

“Yes,” you admit, quiet.

And he says, “I don’t.”

In general, you want to ask, or with me? But the words stall in your mouth, all blocked up and sticky, and you don’t say anything at all.

“You shouldn’t,” he murmurs, looking down. “Want that. With me, I mean. It’s…”

“It’s what?” you ask, hesitant. Another long, horrible silence.

“It’s never going to work,” he says, detached. Almost cold. “Us. This.” He’s still not looking at you.

“Let me ask you something, then,” you say, hating the unsteadiness of your voice. “Do you want it to?” Do you have feelings for me? You want to know if this is something he’s denying himself or if he really just doesn’t like you.

You know your own intelligence, though. You haven’t made up whatever this feeling is between you.

He doesn’t answer your question. Just murmurs, “You don’t know me.” And somehow it sounds like an accusation.

“You won’t let me!” you burst out, your voice louder than you intended. But all this caginess, this dancing around everything real, it’s got you at the end of your fuse. Shiro looks up and whines, Kuro leaping off the couch to stand in front of the both of you, curious. “I told you everything! I told you about my family and my friends and my classes and my hometown and my car problems and fucking Katie from Ohio, and you don’t say anything, Megumi, you won’t talk about your family, you won’t introduce me to your roommates. You won’t tell me about your band or your childhood, you took weeks just to give me your first name! What—are you just embarrassed of me? Do you think I’ll judge you? Do you not trust me? Is that it?”

“No,” he practically growls. “God, it’s just—you don’t understand—”

“You’re right, I don’t!” you exclaim, throwing your hands up. Batman paws at your leg, wondering why you’re shouting. “So help me understand. I know I’m not patient, but if you have shit you’re not ready to talk about, that’s fine. But just say that. Tell me to wait and I’ll wait. Just—give me something.”

He looks at you and he’s utterly unreadable, doors slammed shut.

“If you don’t want me in your life, just fucking say so,” you spit, but your voice is wavering now, uncomposed and only loud so it doesn’t shatter. If he really said it, said I don’t want you, you don’t know what you would do. It would be too sharp, too painful, too much.

“You don’t want this,” he says instead, averting his gaze. His tone is measured and even and emotionless.

“Don’t tell me what I want,” you seethe, but your words come out quiet. “If you really think I don’t want this, it’s because you won’t let me.” You’re whispering now, worried that if your voice raises any more, it’ll crack the paper-thin walls holding back your tears. “Megumi…”

“S’better this way.” He rubs the heel of his hand over his eyes, a messy movement that seems so at odds with the evenness of his tone. “I… I have to go, Robin.”

And the strange, unstable feelings of betrayal and confusion and hurt morph abruptly back into something hotter, something angrier. Because how dare he come here, spend fall break at your house, listen to you spill your heart onto the carpeted floor? How dare he run away, say he doesn’t want this, and then still call you that stupid, endearing fucking nickname?

“Yeah,” you say icily, glancing away with your arms crossed over your chest. “You do.”

You count to five, silently, before he moves, and you don’t look when he does. You blink tears out of your eyes when Kuro hesitates, nosing at your hip before following Megumi out the door.

It slams, hard, and Batman stays perched at the entry, tracking him as he walks out of your house, your life.

You don’t move for a very long time.

INTERMISSION // A REAL GOOD START

MEGUMI FUSHIGURO IS in deep, deep shit.

That is to say, he’s lost control of the situation, which is the one thing he does not allow to happen. Ever.

He can’t stop thinking about you.

Sleep is hard to come by in the days after he fucks everything up. He keeps thinking about how it could have gone if he’d just—if he’d done anything else. If he hadn’t run off after he almost kissed you, traitorous heart thumping in his chest even while his brain screamed danger!

You became part of his life so fast and so naturally he didn’t know it was too late until the damage had already been done. If he let himself kiss you, he would drown.

But he didn’t. He shut you down instead, on a Saturday night that could have been different.

He makes excuses when Gojo invites him over Sunday afternoon, going into work early just to avoid him. Even if Megumi’s perfected his poker face, nothing gets past Gojo. It’s like he has some sixth sense for when his pseudo-kids are in emotional turmoil. He’ll force Megumi into a talk therapy session (run by the most unqualified bartender of all time) and he’ll die of embarrassment on the couch.

So instead of talking to someone, anyone, he throws himself into his work, into rehearsals, into school. He goes to the clinic early and leaves late. His fingers are sore from plucking the same lines out on his bass until his housemates go to sleep. His eyes are dry from staring at his laptop until three in the morning. But it doesn’t matter what he does. He can’t. Stop. Thinking. About. You.

The thing about being in a band with all of his housemates is that there’s really no world in which they don’t notice something’s off. They’re spending even more time together lately than usual with the Battle of the Bands going on, and his only relief is that none of them say anything—at least not aloud. There are a number of raised brows and the occasional questioning shoulder nudge, but it seems Yuji, Ino, and Kirara know him well enough by now not to push. That, at least, he’s grateful for.

Nobara Kugisaki is a different story.

It’s a Monday when she storms into his living room—she didn’t even bother knocking on the front door. Shiro and Kuro run happily around her legs, and normally she’d be fawning over them, but today she looks furious. He can almost see smoke coming right out of her ears, eyes narrowed to dark slits as she stares him down.

“Fushiguro.”

“You,” he points out, “do not live here.”

“And you,” she seethes, “have one minute to explain to me what the fuck you did.” Before he can say anything, she waves her phone around in the air and says, “Hi, Nobara, I was just wondering if Fushiguro seems okay to you? Things kind of fell off and I would feel weird reaching out but I’m just a little worried.”

She’s quoting you.

Texts from you.

Shit.

Megumi knows that you and Kugisaki have met, but for some reason it just did not cross his mind that you might have exchanged contact information.

Control the situation.

He clears his throat, refusing to break eye contact. “Well, she said it,” he huffs, his usual toneless expression. “Things fell off.”

You still wanted to check on him. He treated you like that and you still…

“You broke up with her.”

“We weren’t together—”

“You broke up with her. Are you a fucking moron? This girl—” She jabs her finger into her phone screen so hard he’s surprised it doesn’t hurt— “is so fucking cool. And she puts up with you. And you like her. And now you’re acting all weird. So what, you go over there and tell her you can’t be together? What the fuck, dude? Why?”

What a loaded question that is.

“Because,” he grits out. “It wouldn’t have worked.”

“It wouldn’t have worked,” Kugisaki repeats flatly, walking over to the couch and making herself at home way too close to him, staring him down. He turns his head away. God, she is so persistent. She is so annoying.

“Yeah, congrats, your hearing works. Can you leave me alone?”

“Tell me you don’t have feelings for her and I will.”

“I—”

“Look at me and say it,” she snaps.

Megumi looks at her. “I don’t,” he mutters.

Kugisaki rolls her eyes so hard Megumi can’t believe they stay in her skull. “Okay, sure,” she says skeptically. He doesn’t like this tone, where it’s going. “So if I set her up with Toge, you wouldn’t mind?”

“I—” He clamps his mouth shut, hands curled into fists. “Kugisaki, that’s not—”

“That’s what I thought.” Normally she’d look smug, victorious after pulling one over on him, but this is worse. She just looks… concerned. He hates it.

“Look,” she sighs. “You’re not going to talk to me, so I’m not going to waste my time. But when you figure this out—and you will figure it out, or I might kill somebody, and it will be you—I’ll be all ears.” Her gaze might as well be pinning him to the wall with how fierce it is. Sometimes he lets himself forget how much of a force Kugisaki can be, and right now, she’s got that glint in her eyes that he hates, the one that makes him feel like she knows something he doesn’t. “Understood?”

“If I say understood, will you get out of my house?” he grumbles. She says nothing, just looking at him, and he thinks maybe she could win a staring contest with a fish. For a long, tense minute, he doesn’t say anything, and neither does she.

Whatever. She doesn’t know what she’s talking about. She’ll forget about it eventually.

He sighs, tipping his head back against the wall.

“Understood.”

—

Things seem to happen around Megumi, to him, not because of him. The last conscious decision he made was to end things with you, and now he’s just a passive witness to his own life. Ino has something going on with Nobara’s housemate, Yuji’s scrambling to pass his midterms, Kirara bounces between their house and Hakari’s place faster than he can keep track of, and Megumi… he just exists in the periphery, goes through the motions.

He keeps finding his thumb hovering over your contact name. A dog with a silly name comes into the clinic and he wants to text you about it. He hears a song that reminds him of you (every song reminds him of you) and he wants to play it for you.

He wonders if Riko has him on a hit list yet.

A voice in the back of his head that sounds an awful lot like Kugisaki keeps repeating, Why?

Why did he end things? Why did he bite the bullet so fucking hard?

Because you deserve better than him, honestly.

You don’t know me, he told you. What he didn’t say, though—because you wouldn’t want me if you did.

Part of him knows that’s probably unfair to you—your words keep playing back in his mind and not even his music can drown them out. You won’t let me! But there are things he can’t imagine saying out loud. Explaining the way his dad disappeared, not even showing his face again when his mom died—eighteen-year-old Gojo from across the street on their doorstep, promising he and Tsumiki wouldn’t go into foster care. Bloody knuckles from fighting middle school bullies. Gojo and Geto trying to raise a bunch of kids when they were still kids themselves.

Gojo didn’t leave, but he should have. Megumi knows he threw away so much of his life for him, for Tsumiki. He could have done so much more. He could have done anything he wanted. But Megumi held him back.

Maybe he’s holding him back even now. He knows Gojo would deny it.

The point is, Megumi has shit to figure out for himself, and you shouldn’t have to sit by and watch him deal with it. That’s not fair to you. Yeah, he went about it wrong, but—but this is for the best. You can find someone who actually gives you everything you deserve, and he can… whatever.

Megumi’s band, Shibuya Incident, doesn’t perform this Friday at The Fix—Shoko and Geto’s bar. They’ve already made finals. Tonight will just decide who their opponents are. But even if he’s not up there playing, the Battle of the Bands is a welcome distraction. Even if Ino’s just making lovesick puppy eyes at the stage the whole time and Yuji won’t shut up about wanting Taco Bell. Megumi lets himself get a little lost in the music, and Kugisaki’s band is good, really. He votes for them as soon as the digital form opens and then vows to never tell her.

They should win, but Black Flash takes it again. Kasumi Miwa and Maki’s sister and their friends. They won the whole thing last year. Great, Megumi thinks.

The night comes and goes, and he dodges Gojo on his way out of the bar despite knowing he’ll get a text about it later. And then they’re all piled into Yuji’s car on the way to get his beloved Taco Bell, and he’s just about convinced he’s done with feeling anything at all when Kirara screams.

For a second, there’s nothing at all.

And then the world comes back to life around him in a shock of colors and sounds and a lot of cuss words, mostly coming out of his own mouth.

“Holy shit!” Yuji shouts, yanking the wheel hard to the right, and Megumi can barely process the sight of the white car barreling toward them before there’s crunching metal and shattering glass, and it’s like he feels the collision as an aftershock, shaking all his bones back into place. The airbags go off and he’s blind, wind knocked clean from his lungs, and then he’s moving—no, he moves. No more passivity. This is real.

“Everybody out,” he demands, wrenching the passenger door open and taking in the sight of the crash. Smoke is billowing from the hood of Yuji’s car, the vacant passenger side of the other one entirely smashed in. “Everyone okay?”

Yuji circles around the back of the car and Megumi clocks immediately that he’s holding his wrist weird, wrong. “Yuji—”

“Ino, come on—hey. Hey. Ino.”

Kirara’s got one knee on the edge of the backseat and one hand braced on the roof of the car, and Ino is not making any move to get out.

Sirens. Who called the cops?

“Kirara?” Yuji asks, moving to help her, but she holds up a hand and looks back over her shoulder.

“Don’t. I got it. We’re fine. Just—bad memories, I think.”

Megumi knows Ino hates driving. He doesn’t know why, but he can guess. So he doesn’t push it. Kirara’s the psych major, after all. And probably the one with the most emotional intelligence and any semblance of tact. She’s got him.

He’s about to turn to Yuji when somebody stumbles out of the other car. The car that had been driving in the wrong lane,directly toward them. If Yuji hadn’t reacted so quickly, they’d all be dead.

“What the fuck,” he hisses.

It’s his cousin.

“What,” he says, louder, “the fuck? Naoya!” He storms over and grabs Naoya by the front of his shirt—his breath reeks of alcohol, and he’s laughing, like he didn’t just almost commit vehicular manslaughter. “What the hell, man? What’s wrong with you? Are you—”

He hears… screaming?

But not from here. Not in person. It’s…

Megumi looks at the cracked phone on the ground, having been flung straight through Naoya's shattered windshield. He looks at his shitbag cousin, who’s half tipping-over, legs like jelly under him.

“Naoya,” he growls. “Who. Is. That?”

“Hah,” he slurs. “Mm. My ex! My ex. She is… she is.”

He’s not making sense, but Megumi might get back into Yuji’s car and drive it into his cousin on purpose. Naoya was dating this girl—Megumi knows her. She's friends with Yuji. Some brand of art major, he’s pretty sure, and she's nice, way too good for him. And then what, she finally gets away and he still torments her? By drunk calling her from the car, letting her listen as he crashes? The blood in Megumi’s veins might as well be venom.

He shoves Naoya back with a scoff, letting him stumble over himself, and grabs the broken phone off the ground. “Hey,” he says, and she’s still screaming, this poor fucking girl— “Hey! Hey. Calm down. It’s—hello?”

“Naoya? What the fuck, Naoya—”

She’s definitely talking through tears, maybe angry, maybe scared.

“Not Naoya,” Megumi sighs. “Uh, this is Fushiguro.” She’s quieting a little on the other end, and he hears a guy’s voice trying to talk her down. “Listen. Naoya’s fine. Just… drunk. And an asshole. Are you okay?”

After that, the entire night is a blur.

He talks down Naoya’s traumatized ex-girlfriend on the phone, Ino’s girlfriend shows up and calms him down, and then Gojo and Nanami and Shoko are there and Hakari shows up and Gojo’s dragging Megumi to the ER with Yuji to get his wrist checked out and it’s sprained and Tsumiki is running into the waiting room and hugging the life out of him and Maki calls and Naoya’s got a DUI and then finally, finally they’re home. Megumi can barely keep his eyes open. He doesn't know what time it is.

He sleeps harder than he has in months.

—

Megumi is so fucking exhausted that when his phone starts buzzing the next morning at the kitchen table, he doesn’t actually think it’s real for a second.

INCOMING CALL: SIDEKICK

He’s hallucinating. Sleep deprivation, or something. Or maybe he actually got a concussion in that car crash and now he’s seeing things that aren’t real. That’s the only explanation.

That or you butt-dialed.

He doesn’t bother explaining himself to the others as he stands up and retreats to the hallway, almost letting the phone ring out before steeling himself and swiping to accept the call.

“Hey?”

He’s never greeted you like that before. It sounds so fake. He usually picks up the phone and just starts talking about whatever you texted him, or whatever weird thing he saw that he has to tell you about. Not hey. Hey is for people he doesn’t know. Doesn’t care about.

“Um. Hey.” It is stupid, what just the sound of your voice over the phone does to him. “I just saw this article about a car crash? Are you—”

“I’m fine,” he says, too fast, too sharp. Stop it. “Sorry. I’m—yeah. We’re all fine.”

You clear your throat on the other end of the phone. “Okay. That’s—that’s good. I just… wanted to make sure.”

He pushed you out, and you texted Kugisaki to ask if he was alright.

He pushed you out, and you’re calling to make sure he’s okay.

I’m not, he wants to say. I fucked up. I fucked this up.

I miss you.

“Thank you,” he murmurs. “I… appreciate that.”

Maybe he can still salvage this. Still be friends with you, at least. But that’s a slippery slope, isn’t it? He’ll just hurt you again. But…

“It was my cousin,” he offers, not really knowing why he’s saying it. Maybe as a peace offering. He didn’t tell you things before, important things. Maybe he can start now. “Drunk. On the phone with his ex.”

“Oh,” you say. You sound surprised, but Megumi isn’t sure if you’re more shocked about his words or the fact that he gave them to you. “That’s… awful.”

“Yeah,” Megumi breathes. “Um. Yeah, he’s taken care of now.”

“Good. That’s good.” A dog starts barking, and Megumi feels his lips twitch up into an almost-smile.

“There he goes,” he murmurs. You laugh, and he’s actually smiling, now.

“There he goes,” you say fondly. “I should… go calm him down. I’ll…”

“Yeah, yeah, go,” he says, not sure how to end this. “Um, good… luck.” Stupid. That was so fucking stupid.

“Thanks. Bye, Fushiguro.”

“Bye, Robin,” he says, but the line’s already gone dead.

—

Megumi sees you three times in the month of November, and every time he feels ten times closer to a train wreck.

It snows in November, because it’s stupid and cold and winter comes early here, and there are prints leading toward the dog park. Imprints of dog paws and boots, side by side, and he’s a vet student. He knows what size dog those prints mean. He knows exactly who it is.

He lets Shiro and Kuro tug him all the way to the dog park, and he doesn’t even remember letting himself through the gate. He just knows that you see him right after Kuro starts panting excitedly, and you freeze.

He half-waves in the most pathetic, lame response ever known to mankind.

“Robin,” he says, the nickname falling off his tongue like nothing ever changed.

“Fushiguro.” You smile, hesitant, and he wishes it didn’t feel like a needle that you used his last name. He walks over to you—just following the dogs, he tells himself, that’s natural. Batman almost knocks him over in his excitement.

Megumi can’t not smile at a dog. That would just make him a bad vet, wouldn’t it?

“Hey, bud,” he says, crouching down to pet him. “Yeah, I missed you too.” When he looks back up, your gaze is a little distant, and he closes his eyes for a second, collecting himself. He pushes back to his feet and turns to you.

“Did you know I’d be…” You don’t finish the sentence, but he knows what you mean.

“I… snowprints,” he says, shrugging. It seems to be enough of an answer for you.

“Snowprints,” you echo. “We found you with tracks too, the first time. Didn’t we, Batman?” Like he understands, Batman slaps his tail against the ground and flicks his ears forward and back. Yep. Sure did.

He scrambles for something to say in the silence—small talk is the bane of his existence, but is it ever small talk when it’s you?

Small talk doesn’t matter.

Everything you say matters.

“So. They teach you how to keep plants alive yet?” he asks, and has to fight not to physically cringe after he says it. God, it’s like he never learned how to talk. But you laugh, which he counts as a win.

“No, but someone is significantly less barky, so thank you for that.”

He has you for five minutes before your phone rings, and you chuckle, showing him the screen.

“Ah,” he says. Riko. He doesn’t object when you go, slipping out through the gate with your phone pressed to your ear, because he doesn’t have the right.

But you text first, later.

sidekick: it was good to see you sidekick: and the dogs. obviously

“Look at that,” he mutters to Kuro, whose nose is nearly touching his phone screen. “You’re my good luck charm.”

megumi: you too, sidekick. megumi: and batman. obviously.

The second time, you’re crossing paths in the coffee shop, both of you on your way to other places. It’s brief and stilted and still leaves him feeling like a mess.

“Black?” you ask, nodding at his coffee. You’ve got a hat tugged haphazardly over your head to ward off the persistent snowflakes outside, and it’s—you’re cute. Fuck.

He huffs a laugh, looking down at the sleet-stained floor just to avoid staring at you and your cold-flushed cheeks. “What else?”

“Vanilla latte,” he says, glancing at your cup, because he wants you to know he remembers. Maybe it’s just wishful thinking, but he thinks you look pleasantly surprised.

The third time, you don’t see him.

He knew you had friends at JU, but he’s never seen you around campus before. You’re with the guy with the blue hair, always pulled up into two knots on the top of his head—Hajime, maybe?

You throw your head back and laugh at something he says, and it’s like—fuck. Laughter shouldn’t sound that poetic.

And he knows he can’t lie to himself anymore.

It’s time to talk.

Kirara would probably kick his ass the second he told her anything. Ino’s busy with his new girlfriend, Yuji’s an idiot, Kugisaki is… well, she’s Kugisaki, and he can’t handle that lecture right now. And he sure as hell isn’t gonna talk to Gojo.

Which means he only has one option.

When he knocks on the door of Tsumiki’s apartment, she takes one look at him and sighs, long-suffering.

“You finally ready to talk?”

This was probably a grave miscalculation. If Kirara would kick his ass for the way he treated you, Tsumiki might actually hang him from his ankles out the window and leave him to die. But not before he apologizes to you. So at least he’s got time.

He walks in without responding and ignores her invitation to sit, pacing the kitchen instead in an uncharacteristic show of nerves. “I fucked up.”

“Yeah, I gathered,” Tsumiki says dryly, but she hops up onto the counter and looks at him, patient as ever. Tell me, she doesn’t say, but Megumi hears it anyway.

“I think I might be in love.”

—

To her credit, Tsumiki is dead silent for the entirety of Megumi’s rambling explanation. He’s a little hoarse by the end of it—honestly, he never talks like this. He feels like he just dumped his heart onto his sister’s kitchen floor and is awaiting some sort of judgement.

“Also, I think she hates me,” he finishes, finally sinking into a chair at the kitchen table. He tilts his head back and stares at the popcorn ceiling. “And I deserve it.”

For a beat, Tsumiki is silent. And then she says, “You wrote a song about her.”

He snaps his gaze to her so aggressively it hurts his neck. “What?”

She rolls her eyes and pulls something up on her phone, sliding up the volume and pressing play. She scrolls to some random point in the song, and Ino’s voice sings, “She’s got me up late starin’ at my phone, waitin’ for a text, feelin’ all alone.”

“Tsumiki—”

She turns it up, and Megumi looks anywhere but at his sister. There are plants everywhere, warm light filtering in through the windows onto herbs on the kitchen windowsill and succulents in the living room and god, everything reminds him of you.

“And she don’t even know what she’s doin’ to me, all my hopes are high-strung and she’s just gonna leave, no!”

“Okay! Okay, stop, I get it,” he huffs, dragging the heel of his palm down his face and trying to ignore her smug smile. “How did you even know?” he mumbles. “I’m not on the credits.”

“I know you,” she says dryly. “I also know Ino, and his lyrics are not that… I don’t know, poetically nihilistic.”

“I really can’t tell if you’re trying to insult or compliment me right now,” he says, sighing.

“Also,” Tsumiki says pointedly, “because this is what you do, Gumi.” He gives her a quizzical look in lieu of a response. “When people get close to you, you lash out and then you run away.” She hops off the counter and crosses the room to the table, pulling out a chair across from Megumi.

“No, I don’t,” he grumbles, tilting his chair away on its back legs and inadvertently proving her point.

She just looks at him until he relents, burying his face in his hands.

“I don’t think it’s unprecedented,” Tsumiki says gently, “considering the way we grew up. But you can’t keep shutting down good things, Gumi. You wouldn’t even be friends with Itadori and Kugisaki if they hadn’t forced their way past your bullshit. And you love them, right? They’re great. You know they’re not gonna hurt you.”

“Nobody knows that,” he huffs. “College will end and we’ll all go our separate ways and I’ll never hear from—”

“Nope,” Tsumiki says loudly, cutting him off. “Okay. My turn to talk. Shut up.” She glares at him, planting her elbows on the table. He feels stripped raw. “The whole pushing-people-away-before-I-get-hurt thing? You need to stop. You cannot look me in the eyes right now and tell me you don’t have people who would die for you, Gumi.”

He opens his mouth to object, but she swipes a hand through the air, silencing him. “I’m not done.” Megumi has only seen his sister like this a few times in his life, and he is fairly certain that if he tries to interrupt her again he might not leave this apartment alive.

“You have me. You have Gojo. You have Geto and Shoko and Nanami. You have all of your housemates, and Kugisaki, and probably all of her housemates too,” she says. “And none of us are going anywhere, okay? No walking out on the kids, no betrayal, no kicking you to the curb. So you need to get your head out of your ass, Megumi.”

Well.

“Look. It’s a defense mechanism. I get that,” she says, a little gentler now. “But you are not doing yourself any favors. And this girl? You’re in love with her, Gumi. That means she’s pretty special, okay? Because I don’t think I’ve ever even seen you look twice at a girl in your whole life. And I know she doesn’t deserve this, just as much as you know. So you have two choices.”

Megumi doesn’t think he’s going to like either of the two choices.

Tsumiki leans back in her chair, shrugging. “You can let her move on without you and keep screwing yourself over, or you can go tell her you fucked up and ask her to forgive you.”

He’s never liked asking for things. Tries to avoid it, actually. But he’s finding there are a lot of rules he’s willing to break when it comes to you.

“But if you’re going to ask this girl to step back into your life, you need to make sure you’re ready for it,” his sister says firmly. “You need to have your shit together. You need to know how you feel.” She pauses, catching his gaze, and once she has it she might as well be holding his face in her hands. He can’t look away, not when she’s looking at him this intently, like she’s waiting for an answer she already knows. “So. How do you feel?”

When he doesn’t answer right away, Tsumiki knocks on the table, like a dismissal. “Okay. You think about that, and when you know—you know.” She looks at him for a long moment after he stands up, those eternal curled locks of hair falling into her face, and he’s suddenly hit with a wave of affection, of gratitude, so strong he can barely stand it. Yeah, so he doesn’t have a mom. And fuck his dad. But Tsumiki—thank god he has his sister.

“Miki,” he says, before he can stop himself. “Uh—thank you. I…” He swallows once, hard. “Love you.”

Her smile is slow but wide, the kind that makes her eyes narrow just a little. “I love you too,” she says softly, and then she winks. “Hey, those words? That’s a real good start.”

—

When Megumi sees you next, he’s going to be ready. Just like Tsumiki said. He needs to know how he feels. So he thinks, and he thinks, and he thinks.

There’s a notebook in the bottom drawer of his desk, scrawled song lyrics he’ll never let anyone see. He fills page after page after page trying to figure out what’s going on in his head, in his heart, how he can make it make sense. Fit together like two hands, two sets of prints in the snow. He tries to imagine what he’ll say to you, how you’ll react, but every word he thinks of falls short, everything just sounds stupid in the face of how much you deserve and how little he can give.

He keeps thinking.

It’s December 19, Kugisaki’s Christmas party before everyone parts ways for break.

Megumi won’t admit it, but he’s having a good time. He brought the dogs, and he and Yuji have been bouncing around talking to their friends. Tsumiki’s here too, and when he loses track of Yuji he makes his way over to her, leaning silently against the wall.

“They’re cute,” she says fondly, and he follows her gaze to the hall—Ino is standing there with his girlfriend, Skipper, and there’s mistletoe hanging right above them. No doubt Kugisaki’s doing. Skipper laughs and pecks Ino on the lips before he says something and drags her down the hall, and then Maki and Yuta glance up at the mistletoe, look at each other in mutual horror, and pointedly do not walk beneath it. They’re finally together, but they wouldn’t be caught dead kissing in front of other people.

And he wonders what you’d do, if you were here standing under it with him.

He doesn’t have to say anything. Tsumiki reads him like a book.

It’s like this:

Megumi is very well-acquainted with loss. But he’s not sure he can handle this one.

He let his own insecurities ruin a good thing, a bright thing. He shut it down before it could start. He struck first and he fucking regrets it.

That’s it, then. Pity party over. Delusions down the drain. It’s time to get over himself, to get real.

Because the truth of it is that he doesn’t give a shit about his birthday, about Christmas, about the trees and the lights and the stupid fucking carols, if you’re not there with him.

Oh, he thinks. His sister has the audacity to smirk.

He stays, because this is Kugisaki’s party and despite everything, he does love her. He’s getting better about that, about acknowledging it—he has people who care about him, and he has people he cares about.

But when he heads out just a little bit early, after whispering your name in Kugisaki’s ear, she nearly slaps him for not going sooner.

“Shiro, Kuro,” he calls, heading for the door. “C’mon. We’ve got somewhere to be.”

PART II // TO TRYING

FOR A WEEK after Megumi walks out your front door, you drown in self-pity like the flower you killed in September with too much water. 

And then you open your computer and type his name into the search engine with jujutsu university and band. It’s not hard to find—one of the first results is some Instagram advertisement about a Battle of the Bands at JU, from a couple of weeks ago. One of them’s got to be his. You could just ask Nobara, but—it feels weird, somehow. Wrong. Like you’re encroaching on part of his life that he so clearly doesn’t want you to be a part of.

You can’t helping asking her to check on him, though. You just—it’s probably stupid, but you want him to be okay. Not that you think him pseudo-dumping you would tear him up or anything. But there’s a not insignificant part of you that doesn’t believe what he said that day. Part of you that knows a defense mechanism when you see one.

The thing is, you could’ve asked your friends about him. Hajime goes to JU. He might know Megumi, and if not he could’ve found out. But you wanted this for yourself, this mystery of earning his first name and his history and his heart, except you thought you’d gotten two of the three and it turns out he’ll only ever give you one.

You start typing in the bands one by one, figuring eventually one of them has to be his. A search for Black Flash turns up an artist image of a group of people surrounding a grinning girl with bright blue hair. No Megumi, though.

Shibuya Incident, then. You key it into Spotify and rub your eyes when the artist profile comes up, like you’re maybe seeing it wrong. No. It’s him.

There’s a dark-haired girl who must be Kirara leaning on a familiar-looking guy with pink hair, face split open in a smile. Front and center is a brown-eyed boy with a beanie tugged lopsided over his hair. And in the back, standing, looking characteristically bored, is Megumi Fushiguro.

Why are you doing this? You shouldn’t be doing this.

But you’re scrolling before you know it. Most popular songs. They have an EP called Over Duress. And they have a single—released recently, it looks like.

Strike First.

You only allow yourself one second of hesitation before you press play.

“Catch feels real quick,” a voice sings—Ino, must be. “And they go real deep.” You can’t help paying attention the bassline. It’s steady, constant, holding the rest of the band together as Ino sings. The lyrics almost sink into the background until the chorus snags your attention, and you have to go back and replay it.

“I can hear the heartbreak saying, ooh, I’m on my way. So you strike first, strike first ‘cause she’s not gonna stay.”

Oh.

You understand, then, even if his name isn’t listed in the writing credits, even if you have no proof. Megumi wrote this song. You can hear him in the unfamiliar voice of the lead singer. You can feel him in the pattern of the words. It’s his.

He didn’t want you to leave, so he left first. Is that it?

You understand, but it’s not enough. Abruptly, you’re just—you’re angry. What a stupid reason to let something fall apart. You don’t owe him patience. If he’s not ready to commit, that’s not your problem, it’s his. He needs to figure himself out, learn to let people in, and you can’t just sit here and wait for him to do it. It’s not your responsibility.

It’s not.

There’s some sort of grim satisfaction in knowing that there’s nothing else you could have done.

“Forget that,” you mutter, closing out of Spotify and intending to just toss your laptop on the bed. Case closed. Moving on.

But something in your search results catches your eye first.

JU senior issued DUI after crash on 34th and Olson Blvd Friday night

Okay. So. Nothing to do with Megumi, right? Except it’s showing up in your search of his name. You click on the article, heart suddenly pounding.

Jujutsu University Campus Police responded to an emergency call at 11:41 last night after an automobile collision on 34th Street and Olson Boulevard, four blocks from the popular campus live music bar, The Fix.

“No,” you breathe. “What the fuck?” You keep skimming, everything in you loosening up when it says nobody was seriously hurt, but it just—whose car is that, Yuji’s? It’s bright red. Not Megumi’s.

You’re not really thinking when you make the call. It rings for so long, and right as you’re about to give up, he’s there on the other end of the line, and you realize you have no idea what you’re supposed to say.

“Hey?”

“Um. Hey.” You sound more breathless than you should, just sitting here on your bed with your laptop open to a student news publication. You don’t wait for him to ask why the hell you’re calling, barreling on before you lose your nerve. “I just saw this article about a car crash? Are you o—”

“I’m fine,” he says quickly. Defensively. Oh.

Right. This is overstepping, probably. He doesn’t need you checking up on him. You should’ve just texted Nobara. You should’ve just not read the article, actually, shouldn’t have typed his name into your search engine. He probably thinks you’re a creep who put Google alerts on for his name or something. You don’t have any real excuse for how you stumbled across this fucking article.

But then he says, “Sorry. I’m—yeah. We’re all fine.”

Thank god, you think. But you just clear your throat a little and say, “Okay. That’s—that’s good. I just… wanted to make sure.”

The silence is so long you think for a moment that he’s hung up on you. But then, very quietly, he says, “Thank you. I… appreciate that.”

You don’t really know where to go from here. He’s fine. Of course he’s fine. Why the hell did you call him in the first place? It’s not like he’s going to offer you any information. Because he doesn’t tell you anything, which was the whole problem in the first place—

“It was my cousin.”

You blink.

“Drunk. On the phone with his ex.”

“Oh,” you say, more of a surprised noise slipping out before you can bite it down. It’s less shock at the actual words than the fact that he’s giving you something, that he’s offering you this. You scroll down in the article. Naoya Zenin. The senior in the headline who got a DUI. “That’s… awful.”

“Yeah,” Megumi breathes. “Um. Yeah, he’s taken care of now.”

“Good. That’s good.”

Batman chooses this moment to start barking at absolutely nothing out the window. He actually has been a lot better about that recently, but it’s like it’s his mission today to embarrass you on the phone with the guy who dumped-not-dumped you.

“There he goes,” Megumi says lightly, and you laugh a little, because he sounds almost fond when he says it.

“There he goes,” you echo. “I should… go calm him down. I’ll…” What? You’ll what? See you around? No you won’t. Talk to you later? Unlikely.

“Yeah, yeah, go,” he says. “Um, good… luck.” With what? Batman? Life?

“Thanks. Bye, Fushiguro.”

You slam your finger down on the red button before he can reply.

You don’t want to know what he says. Your name, or sidekick, or Robin, or nothing at all.

—

You try to forget about him, but it’s hard.

Every time your phone buzzes with a message from your friends, classmates, family, your heart jumps, foolishly thinking it might be him. You follow Batman to the dog park without making the conscious decision to, and berate yourself when you realize, lead him off in another direction. Your rosemary plant dies and you hear him in your head, teasing you—isn’t the environment your whole career? Better shape up, sidekick.

Riko prepares a half-hour long PowerPoint presentation about all the reasons he didn’t deserve you in the first place. She must’ve told your roommate, too, because Suko calls you in the middle of the night, Japan time, just to check in.

A week into November, it’s dulled a little bit, the hurt. You’re still startled when he shows up at the dog park, but… not unpleasantly so.

“Snowprints,” he says when you ask if he knew you were here. One word, but it means more to you. Snowprints means he knew what he was walking into, and he came anyway. Snowprints means he saw a chance and followed it to you on purpose.

That’s progress, isn’t it?

You see him at the coffee shop and he remembers your order. It shouldn’t mean anything, but it does. Snowprints and a vanilla latte.

He said he didn’t want this, but you just… don’t believe him.

But you’re not waiting for him. If the cute guy from ecology asked you out tomorrow, you’d say yes. This boy isn’t dictating your life while he figures himself out.

You hope he does figure himself out. But you won’t hold on to scraps.

And you do start to forget, a little. The cute guy in your ecology class does not ask you out, but your friends and your studies and your needy dog are enough of a distraction that Megumi isn’t in the front of your mind all the time. The semester is flying by, and you make an effort to keep in touch with Nobara despite everything—she really is fun.

It’s approaching break before you know it, and you’re going home for the holidays soon, though you’ll probably be back before the new year because Setsuko needs a ride. Man, you’re excited to have a roommate again.

Your suitcase is half-packed, poorly folded clothes covering the whole of your bedspread in some futile attempt at organization. Christmas is in six days—well, five, you think idly, glancing at the clock. Half past midnight. You should go to sleep, but your bed is covered in clothes and you need to finish packing for your drive home in two days.

“Hey, no,” you lecture as Batman sniffs at a shirtsleeve dangling over the side of the bed. You can tell he’s considering making the leap and taking a nap on top of all your freshly laundered clothes. “No. Stay down.”

You push to your feet, yawning, and then Batman freezes in place, his ears perking up and forward like he hears something.

“What’s up?” you mutter, and then his head snaps toward the door. “Dude, what? It’s past midnight—”

The doorbell rings.

“The shit,” you mutter, trudging to the front door. Irrationally you wonder if your roommate’s home early, but that’s stupid—she’d have needed a ride from the airport, and she has a key.

You don’t know what you expect when you nudge Batman aside and open the door into the cold night, barely holding him back from the cracked door with your leg.

Oh.

You’re face to face with Megumi Fushiguro, and your heart does a diving, spinning leap into the bottom of your stomach.

His lips are slightly parted like he stopped speaking mid-word, eyes wild with urgency, and you suddenly wonder if he’s in trouble, if something’s really wrong. Snow peppers his dark hair, the porch light bouncing off the white specks and making him look like he’s sparkling.

You can’t find any words. None at all, nothing that can actually articulate the shock and confusion and barely-squashed hope. What is happening?

“Robin,” he says. And then he says your name, your real name, and—it’s like a dam breaks.

“I’m sorry,” he says. “I’m so fucking sorry. I—I’ve had some time to think and I really, really messed up and I don’t know how I’m ever going to make it up to you but I have to try to explain, I—it’s me, it was all me, all my fault, you’re amazing and I’m insecure and I let that get in the way of something really fucking good and that was stupid, so stupid, and I like being with you and I like knowing you and I want you to meet my friends and my weird messed-up family and I want you to know me, I want to let you know me, and I’m sorry I didn’t just because I got too in my own head about it, about you. You take up so much headspace it’s insane and I haven’t stopped thinking about you since—since, I don’t know, since I fucking met you, and I—”

The multi-colored Christmas lights strung between the pillars of your front step cast colors and shadows over him as he rambles, his cheeks red from the cold and maybe something else, and you can’t take it, watching him like this, desperate.

“Fushiguro.”

But he’s on a roll now, the words spilling from him like they’ve been building up in the hollow space of his throat for years, and he’s not stopping now. You’re not sure he even hears you over the rapid, panicked lilting of his own confession.

“You should turn around right now, slam the door in my face, I get it, I deserve that, and I don’t have any excuse that matters, but I realized how important you’d become and that scared me more than anything I’d ever felt because that meant I could lose you, you could leave—”

“Fushiguro.”

“And it’s—I fell in love with you months ago,” he breathes. “I’m sorry, and I love you, I’m so in love with you, and I—”

“Megumi.”

He finally stops, panting, every part of him frenzied and undone. His lips are still parted around a word he hasn’t said, freeze frame, the remote in your hands. “Will you just come inside?”

The silent second feels like ages, years, maybe, and you can see the disbelief in his irises, like he’s afraid to trust this, afraid to hope.

“No,” he breathes suddenly, and something comes dangerously close to cracking in your heart. Did he come here, say all this, only to leave you again?

“I—”

“No, because I brought the dogs and they’re sitting in the back of my car right now,” he explains, sheepish. An unbelieving, slightly hysterical laughter bubbles up out of you, warm and surprising and not at all unpleasant.

You grab Megumi by the dark fabric of his coat and yank him toward you, pressing your lips to his cold ones, hand slipping up to tangle in the hair at the nape of his neck. It’s like your warmth leeches into him limb by limb, slowly unfreezing him both from the cold and the frantic fear that you’d turn him away again, and it’s below freezing but he’s melting beneath your touch, and you missed him so, so much.

You pull back, your breath fogging in the air like an echo. “You idiot,” you tell him. “Go get them, I want to see them.” You cross your arms over your chest, leaning on the doorjamb and finally processing how cold it is out here. It’s like it’s sinking right into your bones. “And then get your ass inside.”

He smiles breathlessly, standing still for a moment, and then it’s like he just snaps into action, like he’s afraid you’ll change your mind if he waits another second. The dogs run up the path before he does, and you let them barrel into you and then have their little reunion with Batman while Megumi catches up.

“Come sit down,” you tell him, shutting the door and closing out the cold air. “And tell me more.”

It’s almost like nothing ever changed.

You talk for hours in the lamp-lit living room, surrounded by three tired dogs and a record spinning in the corner. But this time, Megumi talks more than you’ve ever heard him talk. He tells you everything.

How he pushed you away and justified it to himself by saying you deserved better, when really you deserved the truth. How his dad left and his mom died young and Gojo was barely legal when he took him in. How he had a lot of issues with his self-worth growing up, and even now, and how it took him a very long time to accept that people care about him. How it was Tsumiki's idea to get the dogs, because after their mom died he couldn't stop having nightmares. How he wanted to call you every day and then he finally cracked and he went to Tsumiki and she psychoanalyzed him at the kitchen table and he sorted out all his shit so he could show up here like an absolute nuisance and beg you to give him another chance.

“That’s all I wanted, you know,” you tell him, the both of you on the floor, leaning against Shiro and Kuro as they sleep. Batman’s made himself comfortable on the couch, occasionally using his vantage point to lick you right in the face. “You, being honest. You didn’t have to tell me about your parents, y’know, if you didn’t want to. But just…”

“I know that now,” he murmurs sheepishly. “I’m sorry. Really. But I’m trying to get over the whole self-sabotage thing. Trying to… try. In general. With people.”

And he means it. Because the only time Megumi has ever lied to you was the day he told you he didn’t want this, and you knew even then that it wasn’t true. He might try to be all stoic and poker-faced, but he’s not a very good liar. You smile. “That’s a good start.”

You’re facing each other, knees touching, and you reach out, hand palm-up between you. He glances at you before he makes any move, like he’s asking—are you sure? But then he laces his fingers through yours. His hands are way bigger than yours, fingers folding over your own, warm and encompassing. Something about it feels very right.

“So I was wondering,” he starts, and this new side of him that is so hesitant but also hopeful is maybe the most endearing thing you’ve ever seen. You squeeze his hand a little, and that seems to embolden him enough to ask whatever it is waiting on the tip of his tongue. “Uh, would you… want to meet my housemates?”

—

“They’re crazy,” Megumi says, standing outside his house with you the next day. “I mean it. I don’t know how to prepare you for—”

“Megumi,” you cut him off, laughing. “No disclaimers. I’m friends with Riko, remember?” This actually seems to be an effective argument, because he smiles a little, putting his hand on the door.

“Yeah, okay. That’s fair.”

You are tackled the second you cross the threshold.

“Hi!” someone practically shouts in your ear, full-on bear-hugging you as you stumble back, laughing.

“Oh my god,” Megumi groans. “Itadori—”

“Sorry!” he yelps, pulling back and awkwardly offering a hand like he didn’t just squeeze the living daylights out of you. “I’m Yuji. Kugisaki’s told me all about you and Fushiguro said—”

“Itadori,” he says again. You immediately understand what Megumi meant. This boy is legitimately no different than the two dogs who have come to crowd around your legs. Actually, Shiro and Kuro have greeted you significantly more calmly than Yuji has. It’d be difficult not to like him, you think.

“No, you’re fine,” you laugh him off, using the handshake to pull him back in. “You’re fun. I like you.” Yuji grins victoriously at Megumi and lets you go, and you finally move out of the entryway and into the familiar living space.

“Ino,” you say, pointing at the boy in a beanie, and then shift to the girl crouched in front of the TV, rummaging through a bunch of games. “Kirara.”

The conspiratorial smirk Kirara gives you—along with the way the Wii games are scattered all around her like a personal hurricane—makes you think she might not actually be the long-suffering order in a house full of chaos. More likely, she and Ino and Yuji are only kept in check by Megumi’s neat freak tendencies and blunt nature.

“Hey.” Ino grins. “Okay, I gotta ask, is your dog actually named Batman? Because that’s awesome.”

“She’s been here for two seconds,” Megumi chides, but you nod happily. You are very proud of your dog’s stupid name.

“Well, I approve,” Ino shrugs, patting the space next to him on the couch.

And it feels natural, the way you fall into place with the rest of them. For all Megumi pretends they drive him insane, it’s obvious he loves his friends, and he seems relaxed around them even as you waste away the afternoon chatting and arguing and getting your ass kicked in Mario Kart (specifically by Kirara, whose undefeated record pisses off all the boys but makes you even fonder of her).

By the time night falls, you feel like you’ve been friends with all of them for years. You learn all about the band—Megumi didn’t tell you that they won the Battle of the Bands, which you plan to give him shit for later. They ask you about your school and friends and seem to actually, genuinely want to meet them.

You go home for Christmas, getting your annual few rare days of quality family time, but Megumi sends you photos from Gojo’s with Tsumiki and the dogs. You respond with a picture of Batman in a Santa hat.

megumi: they really want to meet you when you get back. if you want.

A smile splits across your face before you can stop it. Because this is exactly what you wanted—for Megumi to want you to meet his family, to know that part of his life.

“What are you smiling about?” your dad asks from the couch, and your blush must be answer enough, because he turns to your mom with a raised brow and mouths boy. You shove your phone in your pocket. You weren’t prepared for the interrogation, but it’s too late now.

The thing is, if your family had asked you if you were seeing anyone even last week, you’d have nothing to say. And maybe you shouldn’t dump all this information on them when it’s still so fresh, so new.

But something tells you this is going to last. He wants you to meet Tsumiki, to meet Gojo. You won’t keep him from your family if he doesn’t keep you from his. Plus, your parents leave on another trip in two days. You’re not sure when else you’ll get the chance to tell them this in person.

“So,” you say, before they can start grilling you. “His name is Megumi.”

—

There are prints in the snow.

It feels uncannily familiar, walking your usual path with Batman and seeing the two sets of paw prints and accompanying boots. You place your own footsteps in their wake, laughing at how they dwarf your own shoe size.

You aren’t supposed to see Megumi until he picks you up to go to Gojo’s tonight, but it seems fate—or Batman—has other ideas.

You let him drag you all the way to a big, snowy clearing, where you see your boyfriend and Kuro standing in the snow. It takes you a whole five seconds longer to make out Shiro, who basically blends right into the landscape.

The dogs, per usual, see you first, and Megumi turns at their excited noises to see you. He wastes no time setting off across the field toward you, and you grin, meeting him in the middle.

“So is this a coincidence, or is someone following me?” he asks, meeting you at eye-level as you crouch to greet the dogs. Batman basically shoves his nose in Megumi’s face in response.

“Snowprints,” you say, gesturing to the trail behind you. “Seems to be a theme.” Behind the wall of Kuro’s dark fur, you plant your hands in the snow, letting a mischievous smile grow on your lips. “Anyway, I’m glad I ran into you, because—”

You throw a massive snowball right at Megumi’s face.

“Oh,” he says, swiping a gloved hand across his eyes but leaving flakes of white stuck in his brows, on his lashes. “You’ve done it now.”

“Protect me,” you whisper to Kuro, and then you run.

All-out war. The dogs are thrilled at every snowball that misses its mark, all of them leaping to catch the wayward projectiles in the air, and you and Megumi chase each other and trip over the snow and wind up in a big, snow-covered mess on the ground, staring up at a shockingly bright afternoon sky.

You can barely breathe, you’re laughing so hard. “You’re crazy,” you pant, pushing yourself up onto your elbows, then your palms. An absolute mess of snowprints—his, yours, Shiro’s, Kuro’s, Batman’s—cross over each other in the snow, revealing patches of browning grass here and there, showing the signs of your battle. “Aw, hey. It looks like a giant heart.”

“Sap,” Megumi snorts.

“Buzzkill.”

“Instigator.”

“Oh, yeah?” You grab a fistful of snow and put it right on his head, letting it melt into his tousled, snow-streaked hair. “Well, I’ll instigate, then.”

He laughs, shaking his hair out like a dog, and tackles you back into the snow. “Then I’ll instigate something else.”

You’re so cold you can barely feel half your face, but it doesn’t matter. Not when he kisses you like this.

—

The first thing you think when Satoru Gojo opens the door is damn, he’s tall.

The second is holy shit, those are the bluest eyes I’ve ever seen in my entire life.

“Gumi!” he shouts, enveloping him in a very one-sided hug.

The third thing? Yeah, you like him.

“Gojo,” Megumi grumbles, half-heartedly pushing him away, but the fondness of the interaction doesn’t escape you.

“And I’ve heard all about you,” Gojo grins, pulling you into a hug as well—you don’t hesitate to hug him back, because now you know exactly what this man has done for Megumi and Tsumiki. And he’s important to Megumi, so he’s important to you.

Megumi telling you about his childhood and Gojo was one thing, but him actually wanting you to meet his family is another. You feel warm all over as Gojo ushers you into the apartment, where Tsumiki is already busy making dinner. She nearly drops the pan in her hands at the sight of you. “Hi!”

“You all hug so much,” Megumi says flatly when she hugs you too, and she just grins and forces him into an embrace as well.

“Don’t tell me you’re jealous.”

“Shut up.”

“Love you too.”

“So,” Tsumiki says, turning back to the stove and insisting you sit down and make yourself at home when you offer to help. “Tell me about you.” Instead, she enlists Megumi to be her kitchen assistant, and you aren’t sure why it’s so surprising that he knows how to cook, but it is.

The four of you talk about school and the dogs (who are at home with Suko, now that she’s finally back from Japan) and your families and friends, and you can see Megumi growing more comfortable as the night goes on, once he’s sure that Gojo isn’t about to whip out a bunch of embarrassing pictures of him as a kid or tell you all his darkest secrets. Tsumiki is sweet and you take a liking to her immediately, talking all about her job running the campus paper. Gojo tells you about the bar he works at, about his college friends who founded it.

“Do you have to work tomorrow, then?” you ask between bites of the best meatballs you’ve ever had.

Gojo shrugs. “Yeah. But if I wasn’t, I’d be hanging out with all the same people I work with, anyway. Not so bad, huh?”

“We’re actually probably going to swing by the bar tomorrow,” Megumi says, avoiding Gojo’s gaze in favor of looking at you. Gojo lights up. It’s endearing, how excited he is at the prospect of seeing all of Megumi’s friends. “You coming?” Megumi asks Tsumiki.

“To the bar or the house party?”

“Both,” Megumi shrugs.

“Only if you are,” she says not to Megumi but to you, teasingly.

“Yeah, I gotta meet the rest of his friends. All of Nobara’s housemates.”

“Oh, I love them!” Tsumiki says. “Mm, you’ll get along with Yuta. I mean, everyone does. Oh god, and Toge. And S—yeah, okay, all of them, actually. Have you met our cousin Maki?”

“No, but they all sound great,” you say honestly.

“They are!” Gojo says loudly. “They can give you so much dirt on Megumi.” Megumi glares at him with a complete lack of heat.

“You and my friend Riko would get along,” you say, but as soon as you say it you’re not sure it’s true. Either they would immediately gang up on Megumi and make his life a living hell, or Riko would have the same dynamic with Gojo and they would argue until somebody threw a punch.

Megumi stares at you incredulously. “They can never meet. Ever.”

Except they do, because you bring Riko to the bar the following night. You feel like this might have been a dire miscalculation, because not only does this mean she’s meeting Gojo, but it means she’s meeting Nobara’s housemate who, in her words, is a kindred “chaos goblin.” This means that they’re both comm majors with too much time on their hands and they make it everyone else’s problem.

Toge Inumaki is the very possibly the only person you’ve ever met who can match Riko in terms of sheer chaos. It is terrifying. They’ve known each other for a grand total of five minutes before they’re planning a full-on bracketed Just Dance tournament with Rasputin as the final battle.

“You’re insane,” you tell Riko fondly, and she grins at you.

“I think we’re brushing over the fact that you think Rasputin is the hardest one on there,” Gojo says, leaning over the bar incredulously.

“What, you think your old man knees can handle it?” Riko asks shamelessly, and you excuse yourself as they launch into bickering worthy of siblings.

But nothing explodes, and you meet Shoko and Geto and Utahime and Nanami, and all of Nobara’s housemates, including Megumi’s cousin. She’s very no-nonsense in a way that you appreciate, and after you shit-talk Naoya with her, you feel like you’re probably going to be very good friends.

It’s well past eleven by the time you all get back to Megumi’s place, leaving Gojo to ring in the new year with his own friends. Someone puts the ball drop on the TV in the living room and you all scatter across the space, a swell of conversation and laughter as midnight inches closer.

It’s like this:

A living room full of your friends and his, laughing and smiling and teasing and playing Just Dance really aggressively (but that’s just Toge and Riko, really). Megumi’s knee pressed against yours as Tsumiki forces him to smile for a picture with you. Nobara throwing her arms around you, insisting you settle a debate between her and Yuta about the superior shape of pasta noodle. Sneaking off to Megumi’s room while Yuji is distracted, stealing kisses in the dark. Listening to his whispered commentary in your ear as the drinks and sleep deprivation start hitting Toge and Yuta and they get existential on the floor. Suko telling everyone all about Japan and the occult club she started at her university there. Yuji being way too into the idea of starting one between JU and Kaisen, launching animatedly into a discussion of all his favorite conspiracy theories.

Five minutes to midnight, Kirara pops open a bottle of champagne and passes you a glass, and you wave it in front of Megumi teasingly.

“What, you wanna toast to something?” he teases, leaning in toward you. “You gonna say to us? That’s pretty Hallmark movie of you.”

You hum, swirling the glass, lifting your gaze to meet his. “To trying,” you say. “And also vigilantism?”

And there’s his laugh, better than the ball drop, the streamers, the disco ball that came from god knows where in the corner. “I can get behind that,” he says, clinking his glass against yours. “To your superhero dog,” he says, leaning in closer. “And his pretty cool sidekick.” He kisses you as the countdown hits one, and you’re laughing against his lips, savoring the warmth of his hand on the back of your neck.

When he pulls away, it’s only by centimeters, just enough for him to lock eyes with you. “And,” he breathes against your lips, “to trying.”

directory // my masterlist | out of my mind !

jjk taglist open: just send me a message!

@shutuppeter @mikikkoo @reactwithjan @theclassbookworm @lilactaro @bisforbuse @risararelywrites @idkidk32 @gojodickbig @stargazing-with-choso @anonymity-222 @honeyyhuggs

a/n: sorry this took like twenty years and it's SO LONG. heh. i'm incapable of short-form content. it was fun to write though. let me know what you thought, and be sure to pop over to out of my mind (and, if you're curious about naoya's ex, greta's sukuna spinoff, if you are NOT a minor)! thanks loves :)

[toiletclown]

⋆｡𖦹°⭒˚｡⋆ you wanna kiss me so bad it makes you look stupid.

spencer agnew x f!reader

fluff <3 word count: 6354

summary: being best friends with spencer agnew was the greatest gift the universe ever gave you. you don't have anyone else in your life who keeps up with you like he does. which is why the flirty banter between you two is so fun, right? it's silly. it doesn't mean anything. right??

(basically the you wanna kiss me so bad x that's so gross get tf away from me freak bestie to lovers trope. or whatever. i don't know. love u.)

⋆｡𖦹°⭒˚｡⋆

“Spencer, ew!” You yelled from across the Board AF table. You were in the middle of a Moose Master shoot, and it had very quickly turned to chaos – as usual. Luckily, Moose Master shoot days meant a long, long lunch after wrap to recuperate the massive amount of energy you lost after screaming and laughing like a banshee for an hour. 

“What, you don't think that’s funny?” Spencer shot back. He was using his freshly-pulled Echo Master card on you, because of course he was. “I'm the one in charge here! You're my echo and you have to say baaaabe if I say it.” He dragged out the word, a whiny cadence, then crossed his arms in front of his chest. Cute, he was attempting to put his foot down.

“I’m not doing that, Spencer!” You crossed your arms right back. Two could play at this game.

Being best friends with Spencer Agnew was the greatest gift the universe ever gave you.

Courtney, Chanse, and Angela were just whipping their heads back and forth, following the banter from each side of the table.

“Alex!” Spencer called out, a last ditch effort.

Alex laughed from off-camera. “Sorry, Y/N. He has the card, he makes the rule.”

“Judas!” You hissed. 

Everyone was laughing at this point, and despite your bickering, you were over the moon. You loved your job, and all your friends. 

“What’s wrong, babe?” He winked at you, and you pretended to gag.

“Babe, nothing is wrong,” You deadpanned. You didn't use the same inflection as Spencer, wondering if he would try to argue that that counted as a penalty.

“Penalty card! Pull a penalty card!” Spencer’s face was filled with childlike glee. Bastard, of course he would pull that shit. Although, you selfishly loved seeing his face light up like this. You loved seeing him happy. 

“For what?” Courtney asked, no malice in her voice – they were enjoying the show.

“No answering questions!” Spencer yelled, thinking he pulled one over on you.

But really, Courtney pulled one over on him. “Penalty card, pull a penalty card, Spence!” You mocked him, rubbing it in his face.

“Bro, you want to kiss me so bad right now,” Spencer made several kissy noises at you.

“Do we still have a yeet bucket available?” You begged, tipping your head back and rolling your eyes.

“Do we?” Spencer asked you, remembering the rule that got him yet another “bummer, this is your penalty card to keep!” card. It was first to seven, and he was at six. You, however, were at four.

The game went on and on, you echoing Spencer’s babe, incessantly. You finally missed one and took your penalty card, but you had lasted several rounds of play and were still proud of yourself. However, if this was a bummer card, you would lose.

You hold the penalty card face down, attempting to build suspense. “Can I have a drumroll?”

Spencer immediately began tapping his fingers on the table.

You squealed. “Lucky day! Hmm, who shall I give this to…” You held the card up to your face, tapping it against your chin as though in deep thought.

Everyone started shouting names. Courtney called for Spencer. Spencer called for Angela. Angela called for Chanse. Chanse called for Spencer, too.

You shot the card across the table to Spencer, and it hit him in the face. “Oops! Sorry, I’m a bad shot,” you shrugged, knowing he wouldn’t actually care.

“I gave you a drumroll!” He yelped, incensed that you would do this to him, knowing he was one card away from being out.

“Sorry, babe, it wasn’t the right tempo.”

⋆｡𖦹°⭒˚｡⋆

You and Spencer decided on Homestate for lunch, sitting in your car in the Smoffice parking lot, bent every which way to be comfy and facing each other in the small car.

You loved having time alone with Spencer, and you refused to think deeper into why. You weren’t that extroverted in your real life. It was easy to be extroverted on camera, especially when your best friends in the entire universe are there with you, making you double over in laughter, egging you on to take a joke further.

The past few times you’ve been one-on-one with Spencer, you had gotten a bit nervous right beforehand. You’ve never, in all your years of friendship with Spencer, felt nervous before seeing him. And you were choosing to blame one Courtney Ruth Miller for this.

“Spencer’s thirst trap edits on TikTok,” Courtney giggled.

Shayne breaks into that high-pitched laughter that only Courtney brought out of him, and Amanda was laughing in either disbelief or agreement. Actually, it was probably both.

“No, I don’t save them,” Courtney clarified. “But I send–I send them to him.” 

“Check this out, dude,” Shayne said in his frat bro voice.

“And also me, why don’t I check it out again?” Courtney laughed again.

“Also, where did I save that? Hmm…” Amanda added.

The room devolved into a fit of giggles.

Courtney left out a small part of the story. You were usually the one that sent the edits to her.

You wouldn’t say that you had a crush on Spencer. Or that you even had feelings for him that weren't platonic. But sometimes, late in bed, scrolling on TikTok, your for you page would really be for you and put a thirst trap edit of your best friend on your feed. Sometimes, once you sent a video to Court, your algorithm would pick up on it and put a bunch of edits in a row. You’d watch them all, sending half of them to Courtney, fawning over how pretty he was.

You didn’t have feelings for Spencer, you just had eyes that worked. You knew he was beautiful, with his wild, curly hair, his glasses, his humor. Everything about him was attractive to you. He was extremely funny, never took a joke too far, and respected your boundaries. These were all desirable traits, normal things to find attractive in another person.

But, when you watched that Smosh Mouth episode, and dared to look at the comments, your stomach started burning.

The spencer thirst edits is so real, courtney

I also send my friends spencer thirst edits <3

Spencer thirst trap enjoyers rise up !!

You couldn’t place the emotion that was rising inside you, swallowing you. You weren’t dumb, you knew that other people saw those edits. You once saw one with over 20k likes, clearly Spencer being attractive wasn’t a hot take. And it wasn’t – he was objectively hot in looks alone, right? But knowing him personally, well, that only endeared you to him more. 

Jealousy. You felt… jealous. You had pinpointed the emotion that was skyrocketing your body temperature, but you needed to pinpoint the reason now. Why do you feel jealous? What is there to be jealous of? He’s not yours. 

You had had a bit of an anxiety attack over it all when you woke up this morning. You let it all fade away once you got to the office, but sitting in your tiny car, cramped up next to Spencer… the confusion, the jealousy, it was all rearing its head once more.

“You good, babe?” Spencer asked, followed by a large bite of quesadilla.

For some reason, the pet name – despite its frequency in conservation with Spencer – burned you just a little more.

You moved your food to the side, no longer hungry. “Yeah, Spence. I’m okay.” But your voice was tight, and you knew it gave you away. Spencer always knew.

“Y/N, you know you’re a shit liar.” He tossed a crumpled up napkin at you, his way of encouraging you to open up. 

You let out a laugh, weakly. “Shut up.”

Spencer tapped your leg, prompting you to meet his eyes. “Hey. Please? Let me help my best friend,” he said, and the platonic tone he used made you want to shrivel up and pass away. His best friend. That was all you were, all you would ever be. You thought you had made peace with this sentiment, years and years ago. You thought this was a thing you understood, a thing that was an unspoken agreement. 

But maybe it wasn’t. “I don’t think I want to talk about it just yet. Let me process a bit more, and you’ll be the first one to know.” You held out your right pinky, silently asking for a pinky swear.

Spencer smiled, a beautiful sight in the afternoon sun, and linked his pinky with yours. You both leaned in, kissing your respective thumbs to signify the pinky swear was official. It was something you had done for so many years at this point, that the motion was entirely subconscious. 

You pulled away with more force than was necessary, but if Spencer noticed, he took mercy and he didn’t question you. “Let’s talk about you!” You blurted out, desperately trying to redirect the conversation. “How are the apps treating you?” You said ‘apps’ with a certain sense of disdain, meant to come off as a joke but coming out more truthful than you meant.

You’re not sure why this was your best choice for “redirecting the conversation”. Because whatever he was going to say wasn’t going to be any easier to hear.

“Oh, I deleted ‘em.” 

Eyes wide, you leaned forward again, your body constantly stuck in a gravitational pull towards him. “What? When? Why?”

“Who, what, when, where, why, and how?” He mocked you, and you made a big show of rolling your eyes.

“You’re so dramatic, Y/N. I love it.” He said. 

So, you did what you always did. “I might be dramatic but I’m always right.” You loved your friendship with Spencer, because he was the only one that pushed you hard enough. You loved to volley insults back and forth, and to have someone keep up with you when you’re really in the groove. Here you were, starting up your game. A back and forth of barbs with frightening frequency, always on the same page. Spencer never had a problem keeping that insane pace with you. It almost seemed like you were the one running, and he was on a leisurely stroll right behind you, never struggling to keep up with you. Always right there.

“Best friend my ass, why didn’t you tell me!” It was a rhetorical question, and you didn’t need or want an answer to it. You were afraid of what his reasoning would be. 

What if he met someone?

He didn’t seem to pick up on your internal battle. “I don’t know, we haven’t really hung out lately.” His voice was suddenly a lot lower, an air of sadness in his tone. “I feel like this is the first time I’ve had you to myself in a month.” 

Your heart skipped a beat, just for a moment, at that. You decided to push your luck.

“Had me to yourself, eh?” You winked at him, “And you say that I want to kiss you so bad.” You leaned back again, letting the space between you and Spencer return to a normal, friendly, platonic amount. 

To his credit, Spencer was usually the one that made the suggestive jokes. Then, you would shut him down immediately. You would call him disgusting, say he could only have you in his dreams, make a small dick joke, something. That was how the bit went. But you were surprised to see how dumbfounded he looked.

“Sorry I stole your bit,” you exhaled, a bit breathless at the way he was looking at you. Like you were always surprising him, and that he loved it. Like he could maybe love you.

Your phone’s alarm went off, signaling it was time to go back inside. You didn’t have another shoot today, but Spencer had a livestream. Maybe you’d sit in, but you’d more than likely go for a walk to try and get rid of this negative, nervous, jealous energy.

Spencer groaned, and you laughed. “What?”

“I just wanted more time with you is all,” he started, measuring your reaction. When you raised an eyebrow, he pushed his luck. He leaned over the console, right up to your face. Your lips were merely an inch apart, a soft, warm kiss just a small distance away. You stayed silent, and you stayed still. 

A beat.

He looked down at your lips.

Another beat.

“Wanted to see how bothered I could get you,” he whispers, and as he speaks he loses his balance for a second. Your lips brush for the quickest moment. It wasn’t a kiss, not really, just a slight touch. Lips to lips, but no pressure. No romance. 

Somehow, you both managed to keep your faces straight.

Then, Spencer pulled away, agonizingly slow, tantalizingly slow. You didn’t breathe for a moment. It felt like recess again, like you had just run around too hard for too long and now your little lungs couldn’t fill up all the way. 

You forced yourself to stay silent. He smiled again, a wickedly beautiful thing. Then he left you in your car, a raging fire fueled further with every one of his antics.

⋆｡𖦹°⭒˚｡⋆

After three full minutes of deep breathing exercises, you finally reentered the office. As soon as the door came to a close behind you, Alex came sprinting up to you, scaring you a little with their sense of urgency.

They came to a stop right in front of you, and after doubling over trying to catch his breath, he finally spoke. “Angela got sick after lunch,” Another quick breath, “can you come do the livestream with Spencer in her place?” 

All that fucking nervous energy came flooding back in, thousandfold. Those deep breathing exercises were useless. All for naught.

Alex was desperate, and despite your current problem, you loved him. And Spencer. And Smosh. Fuck it.

“Yeah, of course I can. Is there anything planned?” You said, following behind them when they rejoiced and started heading for the stage.

They laugh, which makes you laugh, only his was genuine and yours was nervous and obvious.

“Oh, no, what?” You asked, another nervous chuckle coming out of you.

You had reached the door to the stage, and when you walked in you watched as Spencer rattled on about – you listened a bit closer – Family Guy? What the hell, sure. Alex probably told him to start the stream and keep it going while they grabbed someone to cover.

You’d like to think you were Alex’s first choice. You knew that you and Spencer had incredible chemistry on camera, which was only because you had incredible chemistry for real. There was a not insignificant amount of the fanbase that shipped you two. Sometimes, if your TikTok FYP didn’t serve you Spencer thirst traps, it served you edits of the two of you flirting. Compilation videos of moments you shared on camera would come up in your YouTube suggestions. And you watched them all. All the way to the end.

And that never really made much sense, now did it? Why watch these videos speculating on the romantic nature of the friendship you cherished so dearly? You wanted it to be just friendship. That’s what you’ve wanted for nearly ten years now.

And now, all of the sudden, it really was starting to feel like ‘friends’ wasn’t enough. Like you wanted more, and you wanted it bad.

Shit.

You walked over to the livestream setup, making a loud whooping noise to announce your arrival. “Big dick daddy’s back in town baby!” You said, for some fucking reason. While you were doing your breathing exercises in your car, you were also on Twitter. Clearly the brain rot was influencing you. Or it was the gas leak.

You went with that.

“Whoa, coming in hot, eh?” Spencer said, looking up at you while you fiddled with the headphones before sitting in the comfy little swivel chair next to him.

His eyes were full of love, but you knew that was just because you were saving his ass right now.

That was all. You couldn’t indulge yourself in the possibility of it being more. 

You just realized, as you nestled into the chair next to him, that you and Spencer hadn’t done a solo stream together yet. You were in a few of the group livestreams together, when there were four or five cast members involved. But you had yet to do one this… intimate. You shuddered mentally at that word.

“I’m here with Mr. Spencer Agnew, sir, can you tell us what we’ll be doing today?” You asked Spencer, holding your fist up like you had a microphone in. You leaned closer and shoved your hand in his face.

He laughed, and if you actually did have a mic in your hands, the audio would have peaked from the sheer sound of it. You didn’t think your bit was that funny, but you appreciated his enthusiasm.

Spencer played into all your bits. You were always thankful for that. You were never made to feel like your joke was going to bomb. He put his mouth right up close to the ‘mic’ you were holding, and he wrapped his hand around yours like he was trying to steady the ‘microphone’ himself. You threw your head back, giddy.

“Well, Mr. Big Dick Daddy, today we have a FNAF livestream! Super excited to be here, super excited that you are here, because I know how much you hate jumpscares.”

“Alex! You fuck!” You screamed in his general direction. That was why they had laughed when you asked them what was planned.

Spencer snickered, then added a dramatic gasp. “Hey! I was the one who decided that we were playing FNAF, don’t give them all the credit!”

“The only thing I’m going to give you credit for is giving me a heart murmur at such a young age, dickwad.” You crossed your arms in defiance, then bumped shoulders with Spencer to make sure he knew you were okay. “You play, please?” You asked, timid, picking up the controller. “I’ll watch. Please?”

Spencer couldn’t deny you much. He’d proven time and again that despite the way you both spoke to each other, your best friend had a soft spot for you. He gave you a reassuring smile, grabbing the controller from your hands. Just out of frame, one of his hands landed on your knee, a sign of safety, a hint of comfort. You instantly found yourself calming down, despite knowing you were about to get wrecked in the chat for your reactions to the jumpscares.

You looked over at chat for the first time since you sat down, and a blush started forming. The monitor displaying the chat was just off to your left side, and you were able to eye it surreptitiously. 

fuck they are SO cute

shayne and courtney truthers turned to spencer and y/n truthers WAKE UP!! it’s our time!!

the way she’s leaning into him goddddddddd ME AND WHO?

between the shourtney lore we’ve been getting and now these two, i’m going to explode

they act just how me and my now wife acted before we made the leap from friends to lovers. i have faith !!

The last comment stood out to you the most. So much so, that you didn’t realize you didn't answer Spencer’s question. The chat was flying, the comment you committed to memory long gone.

“Sorry, I zoned out. That Homestate was so good, I think I need a nap now.” You decided to acknowledge it while still deflecting. 

Spencer chuckled. He was swapping through the cameras in the game at warp speed, click, click, click. Click, click, click. You didn’t know how he even processed what he was looking at, or for. “You didn’t even finish it, how are you this tired?” 

“If I remember correctly, I was interrupted.” You shot a fiery look at him, pushing him. This was a livestream, nothing could just be cut out of it. He had to be careful. You wanted to see if he would be.

“You want to kiss me soooooo bad, Y/N.” To anyone else, that retort was normal. He’d said it to you on camera about a hundred times. Hell, he said it a few hours ago. But he was pushing back. Teetering dangerously on the line of caution.

You were trying to figure out if you should just push both of you over the edge, sending each other tumbling into madness. But you also wondered if you should pull him back by the sleeve of his stupid hoodie. “Maybe, maybe not,” was what you settled on. 

Chat exploded again, you could see the feed rapidly updating in your periphery. For your own sanity, you decided not to actually try and read anything being said.

“Oh, ew!” Spencer shouted. Your look of confusion, borderline a look of hurt, sends him spiraling and he hurries to explain. “You always say something mean to me when I flirt with you, I figured I’d return the favor this time.” He ended his declaration with a wink. Spencer wasn’t being mean, he was giving you a dose of your own medicine.

Fuck the cliff, fuck any sort of ground you’ve ever stood on. You were free falling, hurtling at record speed, mere moments away from going splat! all over the comically large bullseye painted below. It was the best adrenaline rush you’d ever experienced. All-encompassing, consuming, hungry.

“Ohhhh,” you said, like you just got the joke. “Okay, let’s go again. I’m ready this time!”

Spencer continued playing the game, focus never breaking because this was everyday for you. Neither of you had an on-camera persona when you were next to each other. It was just your friendship. The things you said off-camera, you said just as loud on-camera.

You watched as his thumbs flew around on the controller, flipping through the cameras, shutting the doors. No major jumpscares yet, but the knowledge that they would come was still in the back of your mind.

His hands were nice. Not too big, his fingers stopping not far above the tips of yours when you would hold your hands up to each other’s. You were both big on physical affection, so that was often. They were extremely dextrous, watching him type on a mechanical keyboard felt near-religious. The way they sped around, key-to-key, no effort needed, no concentration, no looking at the keyboard. 

He finally spoke again. “I’m waiting for you to do your line, babe.”

Spencer was on the brink of the danger zone. He didn’t call you babe on camera that often, as though he wanted to keep that for just the two of you, as often as possible. When he did, it was either a whisper – low enough the editor would have to add in an on-screen caption – or in a mocking manner like today’s Moose Master.

“Shit, sorry. Okay.” You did a few speech and breathing exercises, rapidly moving from noise to noise, just to make him laugh. “If I remember correctly, I was interrupted.”

“You want to kiss me so bad, babe. You want to kiss me so bad it makes you look stupid.”

Your head turned to him at Mach 1. Not necessarily because of his words, but because of how nonchalantly he spoke them. Like you didn’t have at least 5,000 eyes on you right now. Like you weren’t livestreaming, on the internet, for everyone and their fucking mother to see.

Like you weren’t having your heart ripped out on a live feed. 

The universe decided to throw you a bone, but it was unfortunately in the form of a jumpscare. It had you screeching, knees pulled up to your chest in your chair, both hands suddenly gripping Spencer’s hoodie. Your heart rate was through the roof, and anything you felt a minute ago was gone, replaced only with this new strain of adrenaline and a little bit of fear.

“Fuck!” You yelled one last time, your string of expletives sure to get clipped and bleeped to death for TikTok. “Sometimes I try to play this game and I remember that literal children can play this. This shit scares me at my big age, and my little cousins are telling me all about the fucking lore like it’s fun!”

“It is fun!” Spencer cut in, defending Scott Cawthon’s honor. The game was still on the ‘game over’ screen, and he was making no moves to jump back in. He wanted to make sure you were okay to continue, and you loved him more for it. He was so thoughtful, you wanted to throw up.

“No, no, the game is fun, please don’t attack me, chat!” You said through a fit of laughter. “I like the game, I promise. I can watch Spence play it, but I can’t ever play it myself because I simply freak out at everything. It’s embarrassing!”

“It’s cute.” Spencer restarted the night, since you had lightly tapped his knee to let him know you were okay to keep going. But now that he said that, you weren’t as sure. He was going to be the death of you, and he was likely going to enjoy it. Sadist.

After a few small jumpscares, another big one came in the form of Foxy. You yelped, again, shutting your eyes and grabbing onto Spencer’s hoodie for the second time in less than twenty minutes. “I told you that you would give me an irregular heart beat, but I think you just want me to die on camera.” 

“Hey,” Spencer said, voice soft and serious while not being too vulnerable. You were being watched after all. “Don’t say that.”

You kissed his cheek, deciding that nothing fucking mattered anymore. So what, you were in love with your best friend. It’s okay that he doesn’t think of you that way, because at least he’s in your life. You might as well do some fan service. Have some fun. 

“Sorry, babe.” Your head found his shoulder, curled up into him. Far too intimate for a Five Nights at Freddy’s let’s play livestream, far too intimate for ‘friends’. But Spencer just readjusted to wrap his arm around you, reuniting his hand with the controller once you wiggled around a little to get comfortable. It was a tight fit, but it wasn’t a bad one. It was comfy. You’d played video games like this with Spencer before, though usually you were in a dark living room, illuminated only by the TV screen as you watched him play Fortnite or Resident Evil or as you played Stardew co-op together. Never like this, cameras and microphones and viewers. But it felt nice, that he wanted to love you so loudly, despite you just being friends.

⋆｡𖦹°⭒˚｡⋆

Ian called you into a meeting room two minutes after the livestream ended. Both of you, actually.

“Ian? What’s going on?” You asked, feeling panicked.

Ian sat down and let out a breath, contemplating his word choice. “Okay, so,” he paused, once again trying to figure out his wording. “So, I just have to ask, because I’m your boss, and because this is unfortunately a ‘business’ –” he added air quotes around the word ‘business’, which made you and Spencer chuckle, “Are the two of you in a relationship?”

You were genuinely too stunned to speak. You looked at Spencer, who was already looking at you. Because of course he was. Because of course Ian’s asking this question. Because why aren’t you dating? Why have you been wasting all these years as ‘just friends’ when you’ve both clearly been in love with each other this whole time? You finally broke the silence.

“Not that I’m aware of?” It was a cop out, but you needed to talk to Spencer one-on-one. This wasn’t a conversation to have in front of your boss. “You?”

Spencer slowly shook his head before looking at Ian once more. “Yeah, no, not as far as I know.”

Ian sighed. “And you would be one hundred percent honest if this changed?”

“Yes, Dad. If me and Spencer decide to start making out, we will ask for your consent first. Sorry, Dad.” You said, trying to ease the tension in the room. It was making you claustrophobic.

Thankfully, Ian and Spencer laughed. “Yeah, sorry Y/N’s Dad. We promise to ask you first. Please make sure you do not have Slack alerts silenced at any time.”

After some laughs, Ian stood back up and wrapped you and Spencer in a hug. Once he pulled back, he whispered, “Please tell me first so I can win the office bet.” And then, he was gone.

“Office bet?” You asked, turning to Spencer in confusion. 

He shrugged, “I’m not sure.”

“Okay. Well, can you come over tonight? I think I want to talk to you about that thing from earlier. I think I’ve processed enough.” You smiled at him, baiting him in.

“Well, I was supposed to hang with Alex tonight, but they’ll understand.” Spencer grabbed your hand, linking your fingers loosely. “I’ll see you tonight, babe.” 

And then you were alone.

With a lot of thinking to do.

⋆｡𖦹°⭒˚｡⋆

You had agreed that Spencer would be at your place at 9pm. It was currently 8:45pm and you were on the verge of passing out from stress. You’d been doing laps around your apartment for an hour, and you’d never been so happy to be on the bottom floor. You cannot imagine being someone’s upstair’s neighbor right now. 

You paced once more, repeating the cycle. Kitchen, living room, bedroom, bathroom, kitchen, living room, bedroom, bathroom, on and on forever. Luckily, Spencer was always a little early. He knocked on your door at 8:50pm.

You rushed over, but waited a second before opening the door. You didn’t want to seem too eager. This likely was going to be an extremely emotional conversation. What if you came off desperate?

Once you had paused for what felt like a normal amount of time, you opened the door to Spencer’s beautiful smile. “Hey, babe,” he greeted.

“Hi.”

He nodded towards the entrance, “Can I… come in?”

Oh, right. You were still fully blocking the way. “Oh, sorry, of course!” You laughed, stepping to the side. “Entrée!” You were acting like a fool, but you were nervous as hell. You deserved some slack.

As he entered, you could tell he showered before coming over. You could smell his body wash and his cologne. And it… excited you. You loved the way he smelled, which is why you were constantly stealing his hoodies. 

You followed him through your kitchen and into your living room, sitting down next to him on the sofa. Instinctively, you curled right up to him. Though, as soon as you actually noticed this, you pulled back and put a bit of space between the two of you. You can’t be cuddling him when you’re planning to have a heavy conversation about feelings.

Spencer cleared his throat, and you finally met his eyes. “Is everything okay?” He reached a hand out, and you graciously accepted it. You needed a little grounding right now.

Without your consent, tears started pouring out of you, but you did your best to get your words out. “Yeah. Yeah, Spence, everything is okay,” you let out a laugh, and even though it sounded sad due to your state, it was a happy laugh. “Everything is great. I just, um, I just have a question. And it might be silly, but I want you to be honest.” You were thanking the universe that you got everything out without choking. Your tears were still falling, but luckily they were mostly silent.

“Of course, Y/N. What’s up? You’re starting to scare me a bit.” His thumb was rubbing at your hand, a featherlight touch that was so comforting, you could start sobbing all over again.

“Um, Spencer, are we in love?” You were sheepish, admittedly. It was a strange question to ask, and you were terrified at what his answer could be. It seemed like any answer was going to hurt, whether it was a ‘yes’ or a ‘no’.

Spencer started blushing, and sputtered a bit before saying, “Uh, are we in love? Like you and me?”

You couldn’t help but laugh. “You’re saying it like it’s impossible!” Even though that thought should hurt, a stab wound with the knife ripped out to make sure you keep bleeding, it didn’t. Because it wasn’t impossible, it was the reality, and you knew that.

“I-I mean, fuck, Y/N. Yeah, I’m definitely in love with you. I just didn’t know it was a mutual thing.” Spencer was getting teary-eyed now, and you just wanted to hold him.

So you did. You climbed into his lap, straddling him. Not in a sexual way, in a, I-need-to-be-close-to-you-right-now way. In a way that brought both of you comfort and peace. You hugged him as tight as you could. “I’m sorry, Spencer. I’m sorry it took me so long to understand.”

Spencer was hugging you just as hard, and when he laughed you felt the vibrations blossom in your chest, too. What a beautiful thing, physical touch. 

“It’s okay, babe. I was okay with waiting,” Spencer was softing running his hands through your hair now. “I knew I was going to have to wait – you’re fucking oblivious.”

You pulled back with a gasp, “Hey!”

“Baby, it’s been nearly ten years. I’ve been flirting with you excessively and loudly in videos with millions of views for years.” Spencer’s eyes were shining again, and you let yourself get lost in them for a moment. 

“I watch YouTube compilations of us flirting!” You blurted out, again, for some fucking reason. What the hell was going on with you today? 

Spencer’s laugh was boisterous, and it shook both of you. You were laughing just as hard. “Hey, I do, too. One time someone on Twitter caught me liking a fancam of us. I’m secretly very happy likes are private now.” 

“Wait, am I your girlfriend now?”

“Do you want to be my girlfriend now?”

You shook your head, “That is not how you’re asking me out, Spencer Agnew.”

He laughed, “My bad, let me start over. Y/N, baaaabe? Will you be my girlfriend? FInally? After ten agonizing years? Please?”

“Oh, my god, Spencer, that one was bad, too!” Your laughs were slightly betraying you, however.

“Baby, please, be my girl. Please?”

You broke out in a feverish blush, and put your head on his shoulder. “Yeah,” you laughed, “Yeah, I will.”

Spencer pressed a soft kiss to your head. “Sorry, what was that?”

You pulled back to look him in the eyes. You grabbed his chin with both of your hands so you could really drive your point home. “Yes, Spencer. I’ll be your girl.”

“Thank fucking god, can I kiss you now?” He was borderline panting now.

“Anytime, babe.”

And he did. He kissed you hard, and he kissed you soft. He was rough, and he was slow. He was everything, all at once, and it was dizzying and intoxicating in the best fucking way.

You weren’t sure how long you both sat there kissing, but it was well into the morning. You woke up in the middle of night, legs tangled with Spencer’s. You had both fallen asleep on your couch, and you were sprawled out across Spencer’s sleeping body. He was snoring very faintly, which was fucking adorable.

You fumbled around in the low light for your phone, checking the time. It was 2:04am. You also had a message from Ian.

I’ll have the HR forms on your desk in the morning. Love you both <3

Damn him.

You woke Spencer up after you had gotten up to pee. After a few minutes of attempting to get him to stand up, you both migrated to the bedroom. Under the covers, you both cuddled up to each other instantly. He sleepily kissed your forehead and wished you a good night. It was the most peaceful sleep of your life.

⋆｡𖦹°⭒˚｡⋆

When your alarm went off a mere four hours later, you both were tempted to ignore it. Unfortunately, you both had extremely busy days to tend to. You showed Spencer Ian’s text, which he laughed at. “I hate him.”

You snorted, “Same.” Despite this, you shot him a text.

I’ll bring my favorite pen to sign them with. We’ll be a little late this morning. Busy night :)

“Oh, don’t tell Ian that, please.” Spencer laid back against the pillow with his arm over his eyes, always the drama queen.

Ian’s reply came in, Please respect my boundaries of not discussing my employee’s sex lives. Love you both.

You laughed at his semi-contradiction. You won’t talk to your employees about personal shit but you’ll tell them you love them. Okay, Dad.

You then sat your phone down, and cuddled back up with Spencer. Just for another quick moment. “Five more minutes of this? Then we can get ready.”

“Yeah, I’ll steal something from cast wardrobe today. And I’m sure one of my hoodies is in your car.”

You gaped at the accusation, “Ugh! You don’t know that.”

“Y/N, I saw my grey Legacy hoodie in there yesterday.” He smiled at you, and you loved that he paid attention to you like this. You knew that that hoodie was in there. But it was in the backseat under a number of random items, because you were trying to conceal it. But he saw it anyway, because he sees you. And you were beyond thankful for that.

“Yeah, yeah.”

You both laid in silence, just breathing each other in. This was nice. You could get used to this. You were excited to have this part of Spencer, this side of him that’s just for you. The one that’s extremely soft and caring, but still extremely hilarious. The side that’s so understanding, so observant, so loving. 

Maybe loving Spencer Agnew was the greatest gift the universe ever gave you.

[tangerineastronaut]

Hi! I saw you take requests.

May I request something with GOT7 Jackson Wang and best friend!reader, in which the reader starts developing feelings for him and start thinking he’s the one for her? <3

Friends, Just for Now | Jackson Wang (Part 1)

Part 2

The one where your best friend can't keep his secret anymore (and you're oblivious).

Pairing: Jackson Wang (GOT7) x Fem!Reader Genre: Fluff, BestFriend!Reader, idiots to lovers Requested: Yes w.c. 6.6k (oops) Warnings: Cheating (not between jackson and reader), lots of profanity, nicknames, namecalling, minor injury, reader wouldn't know love if it smacked her in the head, holy shit they're kind of annoying af A/N: this was so fun to write, love me a good idiots friends to lovers. I'm also cheesy af, feel free to call me out. Please excuse any errors there may be, I usually proofread after posting. ❣️The love I received on my yunho imagine has literally made me do happy dances, I haven't posted anything on tumblr in 8 years and you guys are just literally the best. I love you all so much! Requests: Open (link below)

Requests | WIPs Masterlists: BTS | ATEEZ | GOT7 | Stray Kids

🎧 FRI(END)S by V

“Come on, pie, I told you this was gonna happen. You never listen.”

Two things went through your mind, though you refused to lift your head from where it was tucked against your knees. 

One, you hated that nickname. Pie. He thought it was so cute, and it probably would’ve died off had you not reacted to it the way you did. One missed smear of cherry on your nose 3 years ago and suddenly you’ve been christened. It was his favorite story to tell. 

And two, Jackson Wang was going to get his shit rocked if he didn’t leave you alone. 

“Fuck off,” you say bitterly, pulling further into yourself.

He was right. He had warned you.

You’d hoped Leejin was different, that the rumors were just exaggerated. Surely he didn’t cheat on every girlfriend…right?

“Wrong,” Jackson had laughed. “He’s a fucking dog, y/n.”

You’d rolled your eyes, and then Jackson said three words to you that had kind of hurt. Not kind of. A lot. They’d hurt a lot. 

“You’re not special.”

Leejin was so nice, he was smart and funny and headed for a successful career with his family’s business (so what if his parents probably paid off the school to make sure those student conduct violations never stuck). You wanted to be special. Spent 4 months trying to be. It wasn't an eternity, but you tended to put your whole heart into everything, and it almost always ended up like this.

But Jackson’s words rang true, painfully so, when you received a text from an unknown number earlier today—screenshots of messages between Leejin and some girl, including explicit photos. The unnamed person had said nothing else; you wondered if it was the girl from the screenshots, but you didn’t reply. You simply texted Leejin to go fuck himself before blocking him on everything, running straight home to your apartment, praying that Jackson wasn’t there. He was, of course, as you split the rent. You hated the look on his face when you barged in, nose red and snotty from crying.

It wasn’t smug, it was just…"come on, pie, I told you this was gonna happen." 

You heard him sigh now, no doubt running a hand through his hair. It was blonde; you’d made fun of him at the time he'd dyed it though begrudgingly had to admit it suited him. But he was going to be bald before he was 40 if he didn’t stop tugging at it when he was stressed.

“Hey. Hey, stop. I hate it when you cry, you know, makes my joints hurt or something,” he says, kneeling beside you.

The fuck…? What does that even—

But you were too upset to stop, so he muttered under his breath, poking at your head until you whipped it up to slap him away. He looked like such a boy, hugging his knees and giving you a pleading look. Fine. Bastard.

You sighed and uncurled yourself, your knees screaming from the pain of turning into a human rollie pollie for the last half hour. Jackson sighed as well, no doubt relieved that you weren’t ugly crying anymore. 

He waited until your sniffles were a few minutes apart before moving, sitting criss cross on the floor. His brown eyes were soft, a rarity, truly, though you knew he was already formulating ways to tease you about this when it was more irritating than painful. 

“Done?” he asks, more to comfort himself than you. You sniff and nod, wiping your nose on your sleeve. Well, his sleeve. He made a face, realizing that you were wearing one of his sweatshirts, but made the apparent decision to yell at you later. 

“Don’t be mean to me,” you mumble, resting your cheek on your knee. 

“When am I ever?”

“Jackson, I swear to fucking—”

“I didn’t say anything, pie.”

“If you don’t drop that god damned nickname, it was one time, one little bit of cherry filling, I don’t even like cherry pie, you’re so fucking annoying—”

It was his turn to interrupt, but he didn’t. He just watched you, an irritating twinkle of amusement in his eyes. You scoffed and tucked your face away again, wishing he’d stop looking at you like that. Or at all, really. If there was one thing you’d learned after being friends with him for so long…the asshat had some eyes on him. Had this way of using his gaze to set the mood, able to stop your arguments or rile you up with micro expressions like an olympic gold medalist of manipulation. 

“Want some ramen?” he asks, tilting his head as though speaking to a kicked dog. You crinkle your nose without looking at him. “Want some cake? Some candy?”

“I want you to leave me alone,” you grumble. 

“Want a bath?”

You sigh, refusing to humor him with an answer he already had. He snapped his fingers like he’d just solved the equation of the century, having the audacity to ruffle your hair as he stepped over you unnecessarily to get to the door. You could hear him down the hall, the sound of the bathroom cabinets opening and closing, the water running, hopefully set on hot like you liked. 

“You're out of bath bombs,” he called. You frown. 

“I’m not, they’re under the sink.”

“Why’d you move them? Next to your menstrual equipment, eww.”

That’s why. You felt sorry for whatever unfortunate woman Jackson decided to wife up—the man was addicted to hot baths and cotton candy bath bombs. You’d have to move them again though, now that he knew about your stash. Besides, you’d sent him to the shop more than a few times when you were cramping and out of pads (and chocolate); he would not be impeded by them.

Jackson was waiting for you by the time you dragged yourself to the small shared bathroom. He bowed dramatically, gesturing toward the tub which was steaming hot, as you liked—a meal’s gotta cook. 

You mumble a thank you as he walks past, though he pauses in the doorway, eyes narrowed.

“Get naked, and give me my damn sweatshirt,” he says, pointing accusingly at you. You pout, immediately clutching your pearls.

“Is that why you never get laid? Jesus, would’ve thought you were smoother than that,” you huff. He impatiently tugs at your sleeve, rolling his eyes in that sassy way that always made you giggle and made him more irritated—a win win scenario. 

“It’s a $30 shirt, not a snot rag…pie.”

“You’re a snot rag,” you mumble. You turn your back to him, crossing your arms at the hem and tugging it over your head. You were still in a bra thankfully, though still covered your chest as you tossed the material at him. 

Jackson caught it smoothly, though he wasn’t even looking at the sweatshirt. You didn’t realize he was looking at you until you reached for the button of your jeans. His eyes weren’t lower than your lips, but he looked a little…off. You expected a joke about a food baby or maybe how pale you’ve gotten, but he says nothing. 

“Hello?” you say, shaking your head. “Is that all? Want my pants too? Gonna do my laundry for a change?”

Jackson blinks like his brain finally returned to his skull. He bit the inside of his cheek, shaking his head and backing out of the doorway. Before he closed the door, however, his eyes leveled with yours, so intense it made your breath catch in your throat. Was he mad? Over a sweatshirt?

“Leejin is a fucking idiot,” he says before turning on his heel and heading down the hall. 

You stare at the spot where he stood, even after he’s gone. The hell was his problem now?

By the time you’ve finished your glorious bath, you waltz into the living room like a princess. Jackson looks up from his place on the sofa, deadpanning and tossing his phone on the coffee table as he takes in the freshly purloined hoodie you're sporting.

“Gonna lock my closet,” he says, shaking his head. You beam at him, cutely crinkling your nose as you pad to the kitchen. You tug open the fridge, thinking maybe you could cook something simple for the two of you. It was kind of late to make anything grand, but you wanted more than ramen. 

The empty shelves make your eye twitch. 

“Seriously?” you huff, gesturing around. “Would it kill you to get groceries once?”

“You always complain when I do,” Jackson shrugs, flicking through netflix with the remote. “Got the wrong brand, got too many, didn’t get enough—”

“I always text you a detailed list, but whatever,” you grumble, low enough that it doesn’t provoke a response. “Since you’re a big man baby incapable of buying groceries, you can buy us something at the convenience store.”

“I am perfectly capable, thank you,” Jackson says, narrowing his eyes. 

“Of what? Weaponized incompetence? I agree, get dressed,” you hum. 

Ten minutes later, you’re walking side by side down to the convenience store. The apartment’s location was perfect—five minutes from campus one way, five to a 24 hour convenience store another. Perfect because you both had a habit of wanting to come home when you were drunk after a party, starved and craving foods that you’d regret the next day. 

The doors chimed a welcome as they slid open, allowing you inside. You made a beeline for the sweets, Jackson went straight for the energy drinks. 

You perused the aisle for a few minutes, making your choice and going to find your roommate. You rounded the corner and froze. 

Unfortunately, it wasn’t possible to block someone in real life. So while you’d never see Leejin’s social media posts, it didn’t mean that you wouldn’t run into him on a saturday night at the convenience store near your apartment. 

You feel a mix of emotions—anger, shame, disbelief among them. You knew it wasn’t impossible, it wasn’t even unlikely, as this store was one of only a few. But it felt so damn unfair that he’d happen to be here, hours after you found out about what he’d done. 

“Is that all you’re getting?” Jackson snorts, frowning as he eyes your bag of chips. But he notices your stillness, following your gaze to see Leejin, casually chatting on the phone as he looks at the protein bars.

You expect him to snort, maybe make a comment just loud enough for the other to hear before pulling you away, but Jackson surges forward so quickly he nearly knocks you over. You grab his arm, both to steady him and stop him from…whatever the hell he’s doing. 

“Where are you going?” you whisper, tugging him back with as much strength as you could muster. 

“He broke your heart and I’m gonna break his fucking face.”

He moves again, this time dragging you along on the linoleum floor. Fortunately, Leejin is too preoccupied with his call to notice. The thought makes your stomach twist, briefly wondering who he’s talking to. 

“You’re gonna get us kicked out, what’s the matter with you?” you hiss, trying to shake sense into him. Jackson yanks his arm away from you, dropping the energy drinks on the nearest shelf before storming off. You stare after him, mouth agape in disbelief. 

You arrive home 15 minutes later, having hid near the bathrooms until Leejin had left. You’d bought (and paid for, irritatingly) your snacks and Jackson’s drinks, but when you shove into the apartment, it’s empty. Lights off, no sign of him. You worry for a few seconds—had he waited for you and bumped into Leejin instead? But you surely would’ve heard something outside. You opt to text him and choose to believe he’s being broody and walking through the streets like a sad music video.

> what the fuck? is your deal? Where are you??

You’re confused and groggy when someone taps at your cheek, not realizing you’d even fallen asleep on the couch. You rub at your eyes, squinting, processing the sight of Jackson standing over you, t-shirt stuck to his form, beads of sweat rolling down his cheeks. 

You’ve had weird dreams about him before, ones that you’d rather never speak of again, and they usually start out like this. But this Jackson rolls his eyes in a way that sweet, sweet dream Jackson would never. 

“Get up, jesus. Your back is going to hurt,” he says. You slowly sit up, realizing he’s right. Apparently not only had you fallen asleep on the couch,  but you’d fallen asleep sitting up, sleeping in an unnatural slouched position. 

“Ow…”

“Told you.”

“No it’s…hey,” you snap, waking up a bit more now that you  remember that you’re actually pissed at him. “It’s your fucking fault, what happened to you? You just disappeared! I was worried!” 

You’re surprised to see Jackson bristle. He’s not shaken easily, least of all by you, but he glances to the side and tugs at his t-shirt, separating it from his damp skin. 

“Went to the gym. Figured I should cool off,” he says. You want to be pissed at him more, say something else, but your back hurts and you’re sleepy. Plus, you’re glad to see he’s alright. Mostly.

“Whatever,” you finally grumble, trying to stretch out your neck. “What time is it?”

“Dunno, around 2 a.m.,” he replies casually. “I’m gonna shower.”

“Great,” you huff. “You go shower. I’ll go roll over and die happy now that I know you’re alive.”

You stumble down the hall to your room, sighing at the sight of your unmade bed. What was the point if you were going to mess it up anyway? You hear Jackson follow shortly after, the bathroom door opening and closing. The shower starts, and you shuffle beneath the covers. 

You wake up not long after, whining in protest as you’re jostled. 

“It’s me,” Jackson says, rudely pushing you over. “Scoot.”

You wanted to shove him away, to point out that “scoot” should be said before you rob someone of their bed, but you can’t be bothered. Besides, once he settles next to you, you realize that he’s not wearing a shirt and he smells nice and clean. 

Sleepy, groggy, annoyed, relieved, you curl against him like a bunny seeking warmth. You feel him stiffen, though you think little of it. 

“What are you doing?” he asks, not sounding the least bit tired. You couldn’t say the same for yourself, unable to open your eyes as you reply. 

“Mm. ‘s warm down here. Night night.”

You hear him sigh, then shuffle, and then he’s rolled over to face you, offering a human-made cocoon that you happily burrow into. He’s soft and warm and smells like his manly body wash—and your shampoo, damn it. 

“Goodnight, y/n,” he says, soft enough to count but not enough for you to notice. 

Waking up tangled with Jackson was, unfortunately (?), not all that unusual. When you were upset, you found your way to his bed, and despite his protests you knew he didn't actually mind. It went both ways—you'll die before you admit that you like it, if only because he's a human heater.

You still feel groggy, squinting and fumbling around for your phone. Such a task is difficult when there's deadweight slung over your waist, but you manage, bringing the device to your face.

10:43 a.m.

Oh good. You slept 8 hours—and half the day away, to your brain at least. You toss your phone down, debating whether or not you should just go back to sleep. You choose instead to roll over, addressing the sleeping shirtless man keeping you pinned to your bed.

Your camera roll was filled with photos just like this, because Jackson slept like a baby. Literally. Hands curled into fists, face relaxed, head tilted to the side. His blonde hair is mussed from sleeping with it wet last night, and you dodn't hesitate to run your fingers through it for no reason at all. It was soft and surprisingly thick, but you weren't about to dial back on the baldness theory.

Jackson stirred, though didn't wake up, shifting to lie on his back. Freed from your restraints, you sat up and had to cover your mouth to stifle a laugh.

Of course the curtains parted like that, of course he was sleeping like a prince now, sunlight arcing off of his jaw—it even highlighted his stubble in an annoyingly poetic way. What kind of gods were kind enough to give him of all people that face?

He really was kinda...pretty.

No, not kinda. Jackson Wang was beautiful. You were his best friend, but you weren't blind. Maybe you'd become a little numb to his charms, but you'd seen what he could do to people with just a look, even without malicious intent. He was charismatic on top of that, though you were the only one who got to see the side of him that wasn't.

The side that stole your shampoo and commandeered your bed, anyway.

So fine, you knew he was pretty. But he was kinda sorta extra pretty right now, and maybe you wanted to remember it later.

You shifted to grab your phone—a never-ending quest for material to bully each other over—but the movement apparently jostled him awake. You sheepishly smiled as he blinked a few times, using the heel of his palm to rub the blurriness away.

"Really?" he asked, voice rough, eyes leveling to the phone in your hand. "Fucking creep."

"You have like a thousand pictures of me sleeping," you point out, narrowing your eyes. Jackson nods, rolling over and hugging your waist, his head resting against your hip.

"That I do—you're cute when you drool all over yourself. I'm working on a collage."

"Asshole," you mutter, prying his arms off of you. You make an attempt to escape, but as expected, you're smoothly hauled back down.

"Where you going?"

"I need to pee, wanna come with?"

"It's early."

"It's almost 11."

"Yeah, early."

Jackson grunts before you can reply, practically placing you in a chokehold as he rolls over. You have no choice but to go with him, ending up flopped over his chest like a dead fish.

He says nothing for a moment, and you wonder if he's fallen back asleep. It's not difficult to squirm out of his grasp this time, though rather than allowing you to slide off, the apparently-awake-Jackson moves both hands to your hips.

Your stomach does that funny thing it sometimes does around him, like a little alarm that says 'hey! getting too close!' Listening to this alarm had prevented a lot of mistakes over the course of your friendship, mistakes like wanting to kiss him when you were tipsy, noticing the way he looked after a long workout, hair plastered to his forehead, the fuzziness you felt that time your heating pad broke, and his warm hands wound up on the lower half of your tummy to stave off the cramps.

Mistakes like that.

His eyes open again, and you do your best to look irritated.

"I'm sorry about last night," he says, suddenly unnaturally serious. "I was just trying to cool off, and my phone died, so I didn't see your text until after I got home."

You're not really sure how to respond—it was always strange when conversations got like this between you, regardless of the topic. It was so jarring, so far from the usual cracked out nonsense. You decided to nod, then shake your head, then nod again.

Jackson was a badass, most people knew as much. He was trained in martial arts and practically ate protein for every meal. But despite this, he wasn't typically an aggressive guy. You'd only ever seen him throw one punch—an ex of yours a couple years ago who threatened to post a nude photo of you. Needless to say, the guy deleted them, made difficult thanks to the blood smearing his screen as it dripped from his nose.

"It's fine, I get it," you say. "Just...why were you so mad at him? Did he do something to you?"

Jackson blinks up at you, shifting so that he's partially sitting up on his elbows.

"I told you, y/n," he says, shaking his head like you're an idiot. "He broke your heart, I was gonna break his face. You should've let me get one hit in at least."

"He didn't break my heart," you groan, rolling your eyes. "It wasn't that serious, you know that. We'd only been dating for 4 months."

"...I watched you cry for an hour because someone stepped on a worm—"

"—that's different. It's literally a living little creature, what if that's someone's girlfriend, hm? What if she asked her boyfriend 'would you still love me if I was a worm' and he said yes except now they can't live wormily ever after because she's smushed all because some horrible person can't be bothered to step aside for a worm?"

Jackson stared up at you, blinking slowly, looking 175% done with your shit.

"What the fuck is wormily ever after?"

You sigh, leaning forward until your head is on his bare shoulder. You have half a mind to bite him, though you resist. You will be civil—for now.

"I don't know," you mumble. "No early birds, no hot sidewalks?"

"I....you're so fucking weird."

"Lots of guys are dickheads, but you were ready to knock him out. Really, Jackson, was that all? Promise he didn't say something to you?" you ask, voice muffled against his warm skin. Just one lil munch. It'd be good payback for him scaring the hell out of you last night.

Jackson exhales, and there's suddenly a hand tugging at your tangled mess of bedhead until you're sitting up, looking down at him.

"I wanted to kick his ass for the same reason that I never bring anyone home," he says quietly. His eyes are serious, no sparkle of humor in them, and it makes your stomach twist. You didn't like it when Jackson got serious.

"What? Because of me?" you ask. "I don't care who you fuck as long as I don't have to cook them breakfast."

Mostly true—you were afraid of walking out of your bedroom one morning and running into a really pretty girl, someone with perfect grades and clear skin, who has the audacity to be beautiful and nice. Someone only Jackson deserves. But you leave that bit out and give him a half teasing smile.

Jackson doesn't return it. He grunts, moving his hand up to tug at his hair. You slip yours beneath his, mumbling for him to stop doing that.

"You really don't?" he finally asks, swallowing hard enough that you see his throat move.

"Don't what?"

"You don't care who I fuck?"

His question catches you off guard, though not as much as the fact that he still looks dead serious. This seems like something the two of you should be laughing over—not something to talk about whilst you're currently straddling your best friend in your bed, who happens to be naked from the waist up.

"I mean...no?" you say, shaking your head in confusion. "Should I?"

"I don't know, should you?"

Should you? What the hell was that supposed to mean? You didn't like riddles, and this felt like one. You'd tried to stay out of his business over the four years you've been friends, though come to think of it...you'd never met any of his girlfriends after the first six months. You'd assumed he was so busy with classes and his extracurriculars that there just wasn't much time for anything past shallow hookups.

But...you couldn't remember a single time that had occurred. He was home every night, never brought company over for that purpose.

"Jackson," you say quietly, palms resting on his chest. When the hell did he get so muscular? There was a noticable firmness beneath your fingers, and you briefly considered billing Leejin for your services in making sure he didn't get the shit beat out of him. "I feel like this is an inside joke and I'm out of the loop. You're upset? Why?"

"Why would I be?" he counters, irritatingly smooth. The hands on your hips squeeze once, like he's trying to talk to you in morse code. It's annoying.

"Quit," you mumble, biting your lower lip. "I'm trying. Stop being mean and just tell me."

He sighs, moving a hand to his face.

"If you don't already know, then it doesn't matter, alright?"

"Wh—"

You're cut off as he suddenly shifts from beneath you, leaving you tumbling to the sheets when he stands. Just like the last two times for some damn reason, he prepares to storm out of the room.

"Jackson, wait—shit."

You trip over the edge of your nightstand, catching yourself on your hands. Your lamp tumbles to the floor, thankfully not shattering on the carpet. Still, the ache brings tears to your eyes, and you bite the inside of your cheek as you sit down.

"How many times have I told you to push that against the wall!?" Jackson says, rushing over to you. You lean back against your bed, grimacing as you look at your knee. It's not the worst scrape you've ever gotten, but it is bleeding, and it burns.

"Hang on, pie." He leaves the room, and by the time he returns with the pack of bandaids and peroxide, you're covering your face with one hand and hugging your knee with the other.

"Hey, it's not so bad," he says, obviously in partial panic mode as he kneels in front of you and tugs at your ankle. He probably thought that's why you were in tears, but it was moreso the fact that he was being...just...weird, and you didn't like it.

You quietly sit there, hands over your eyes as he uses a cotton ball to dab at the blood. You don't even flinch, it doesn't burn—perks of having an MMA star for a roommate; he knew how to bandage a cut (a common occurence for your clumsy ass, unfortunately).

After a few minutes, he pats the side of your calf, and you finally uncover your eyes. There's a bandaid over the scrape now, and you let your knee fall to the side. Jackson is looking at you, and you nod.

"That's good, thanks," you mumble quietly.

"You sure?" he asks. You frown, nodding quickly. But his hand moves up to your cheek, cupping it as his thumb swipes below your eye.

Tears.

That alarm goes off inside of you, but Jackson doesn't move his hand, so you let it sit there and you feel your stomach tying itself into a knot. You're a little worried it's not gonna come undone.

"I wasn't crying because of that," you say, swallowing as you glance away shamefully. "I...I don't like this, Jackson. Feels weird. If I did something to make you mad, I wish you'd just tell me—"

"I'm not mad at you," he replies. You sniff, and finally his hand slips away, though only to rest on your uninjured knee. His fingers twitch, like he wants to do something but won't let himself. Slap you, maybe, for never listening to him and always ending up hurt because of it. You would, if you were him.

"You keep running away from me," you point out, a little surge of anger from last night returning. "You keep acting like I'm supposed to know everything you're thinking, and I don't, because you won't tell me stuff. I tell you stuff, the least you could do is text me a grocery list of what the fuck is going on inside of your brain, so I'm not sitting here thinking I'm gonna lose my best friend and roommate over something I don't even know that I've done. I'm sorry we ran into Leejin, it's not like I knew he was gonna be there. I'm sorry for thinking I was special in the first place and ending up where you said I'd be."

Jackson sighs and tilts his head, and you hate yourself for crying more. It wasn't a big deal, things were a little crazy after yesterday. You didn't even love Leejin, it had just...hurt? Your pride? No one wants to know they're less than a second choice. But Jackson had acted like Leejin was out for his blood, and every time he runs away, it feels like he's escaping you.

"You're not gonna lose me," he finally says, glancing down at the floor. "I just...I've got a lot of shit to work through, you know? It's not...it's not your fault though."

"Like what?" you ask, worry lining your brow. "If you'd just—is it money? Because we can figure out rent—"

"It's not money," he interrupts. "I promise, it's nothing like that."

"Then what?" You huff, a little more irritated than concerned. "Parents? Grades? Girl trouble?"

"Yeah," he nods, licking his lips. "That last bit."

"Girl trouble?" you ask, somewhat surprised. For some reason, the fact that he hadn't told you about a girl bothered you more than the idea that there was one at all. You shared everything with him; if he'd kept her a secret, it had to have been a little more serious.

"Do I know her?" you ask tentatively. Please say no, I don't want to go through a list of the hottest girls I know.

"Yeah," he replies. Fuck.

"Oh. How long have you been dating?"

"We're not."

"Then...?"

"She's an idiot."

"It's a mystery as to why you're single, really," you say, rolling your eyes. "So she's an idiot because she won't date you? Sounds kind of shallow on your end."

"She's an idiot because she keeps dating jackasses who don't give a shit about her. I don't give a damn if she ever chooses me or not," he says plainly. You frown.

"Maybe she's insecure?"

"She is. Very."

"Huh. Is she pretty?"

"Beautiful."

"Oh. Hm."

Well what the fuck were you supposed to say to that? Congratulations? Sorrows, sorrows, prayers?

"Okay..." you say after a beat. You were not good with advice, especially when it came to love, obviously. He didn't say love though. Infatuation, maybe. Still, you were not an expert. "So if she keeps dating jackasses and won't date you, why do you bother? Why not just forget about her?"

Jackson's eye twitches. You don't notice.

"Hard to forget someone you see every day, pie," he says. You scoff.

"Okay, I'm calling bullshit. I'm literally the only person you see every day."

"Mhm."

"Then you're lying?" you ask. Jackson deadpans.

"Please, for the love of god, never reproduce."

"Rude," you mutter. "Fine, so I know her, she's insecure, pretty, dates assholes, you allegedly see her everyday?"

"All of the above," he says. You frown, lips pursing as you rack your brain for answers, going through the hot insecure girls you know like a filing cabinet.

Wait.

Your eyes widen. Jackson's do the same, and then he smiles, like he's proud of you.

"Oh my god, is it Kim Sujin?" You ask, covering your mouth. "The girl with the—"

"Jesus fucking christ, y/n," he groans, running a hand through his hair. "Are you...you're fucking with me? That's what this is. You're not this dumb, right? Please say no. I feel like I'm in middle school right now, holy shit."

You open your mouth to argue, to insist he was being unfair (you didn't even like puzzles!) but he suddenly leans forward, palms cupping both of your cheeks. He pulls you toward him, nose inches from yours. You've been this close to him before, but you're suddenly dizzy now, a little out of it as you wonder if this is really happening to you—or if this is another sweaty-jackson-standing-over-me dream. Jackson, who has freckles on the tip of his nose and won't stop looking at you like that, the knot pulling tighter and tighter.

"Stop thinking before you hurt yourself. 'm gonna kiss you now, is that okay?" he asks.

Is that oka—?

"Kiss?" you mumble, swallowed up by those god damn pretty brown eyes. Jackson nods, head tilted, primed to kiss the cluelessness out of you, apparently. "Y-yeah, that's fine."

"It's gonna be...it's gonna be a lot, okay? Like not just a peck. You're fine with that?"

"Yep," you nod.

Jackson nods back. And then he kisses you.

He doesn't release your face, squishing your body between himself and the bed behind you. His lips press to yours, insistent and warm, though you can tell he's being cautious—if you wanted to push him away, you could. But you did not want to do that.

Because Jackson Wang was kissing you, and he's a really good kisser.

You briefly forget that you have hands, so when you remember, you waste no time in using them. One cups his jaw, feeling the edge of it press into your palm. The other fists his blonde hair, tugging it gently.

Jackson groans into your mouth, and that alarm in your belly turns into a fucking war drum. You feel the knot tighten and snap, and suddenly you're pushing him back, scrambling into his lap.

You kind of want more, kind of want to put your tongue in his mouth because he's warm and tastes good and you can only imagine how much better it would be, but he beats you to it. His tongue swipes over your lower lip and you eagerly open for him. He breathes in as soon as you do, and it feels like he's stealing your soul. Fuck it? He can have it?

It's messy, a tad bit desperate, definitely not the poetic kiss of rom coms, but you don't give a shit. It feels good, feels warm and right, like you've been kissing him in your head every day for the past 4 years.

By the time you manage to separate, you're trembling an embarassing amount. You'd blame the buzz on coffee if you'd had any, but you just hide your flushed cheeks and rest your forehead against his shoulder. You can tell that for once, Jackson's brain seems to also have short circuited, as it takes him a minute before he finally wraps his arms around you. You can hear his breath—as shaky as yours, thank god.

"Was that okay? Was it weird? Did I make you uncomfortable?" he asks, tilting back on one palm to look at you, his other arm secured around your waist. You sit up, shamelessly biting your lower lip, refusing to meet his eyes. He mistakes this for discomfort, all but shoving you out of his lap, hands flying to his hair.

"Fuck, I...I shouldn't have...I didn't mean to. I wasn't gonna...I'm so fucking sorry y/n, if you want me to move out—"

"You're gonna go bald," you mumble, a little blitzed out as you rest on your hands.

"Huh?"

"Nevermind. Stop freaking out, okay?" you offer, finally looking up at him. God he looks...scared. Hair messy, brown eyes wide. So unlike his usual cocky self that you're a little shaken, caught between wanting to protect him and wanting to kiss him again.

"I didn't make you uncomfortable, did I?" he asks softly. That alarm is now everywhere, setting off in your chest at his concerned tone. You shake your head.

"No. I'm okay," you reassure him. "A little irritated."

Jackson's head snaps up, worry on his face. You feel guilty, so you quickly clarify.

"You said I'm not special," you say quietly, looking away. "If you were talking about me just now...why did you tell me that?"

He looks confused, like he can't remember (of all the things he's said to bully you—while you kept a detailed record). But he seems to finally recall the conversation, rubbing his forehead as his lips spread into a smile.

"What's funny?" you puff.

"I meant to him, pie. You're not special to him. Not that you weren't special at all, or to...to me," he explains, looking part amused and part shy. You soften a bit, unable to help but pout.

"Then you should say that!" you say, gesturing at nothing. "You can't just go around telling people they aren't special."

"I don't make you feel special?" he asks, dipping his head to meet your eyes.

Well, yes, but that's not the point. You choose not to reply.

Just like most things when it comes to you, however, he already knows the answer. He looks a little too proud of himself as he reaches for your wrist, pulling you back into him. You're not quite in his lap, but you lean heavily against his side, your chin resting against his chest.

"What if we mess it up?" you ask, looking up at him. He frowns, not understanding. "Us. What if...what if we mess us up?"

"I don't see how we would," he laughs. "We're practically married."

"Gross. We are not."

"We split the bills, pie."

"Most roommates do."

"We cook together."

"Most roommates do."

"My mother loves you."

"Your mother loves everyone."

"Not true. And my father loves you."

You pause, then squint.

"Your father has good taste," you say. Jackson rolls his eyes. He looks a little conflicted, like he can't decide what's too much, what's too soon.

"I do," he says quietly.

You hate that, for once in your life, you know exactly what he's saying without him saying it. And god damn it, you feel your eyes burning.

"Don't...ugh," you whine, looking away from him. But he's not having it, taking your chin and tilting your face up. You're faced with glassy eyes that make you want to die.

You hated it when he cried. Maybe you make his joints hurt or whatever, but you've only seen Jackson cry twice, once when his family dog died, and another when he was drunk and had convinced himself you weren't his friend anymore. Both times, you'd never felt so helpless. The way you feel now.

"Y/n, I—"

"Please don't," you breathe quickly, swallowing down your tears. You immediately panic at the look on his face, like you've slapped him. But you tuck your hair behind your ear and shake your head.

"No, I-I mean, I know you do, and I...I'm pretty sure I do too. I just...I can't say it now, alright?" you explain. "I'm sorry, I just—you know me better than anyone. I don't...don't wanna fuck it up, you know? I don't wanna lose you, I'm so bad, so stupid when it comes to this—"

"Hey, hey, shh..." Jackson says, gently shaking your chin. "I'm not upset, okay? Just relieved, a little scared. I don't want to fuck this up either, yeah? I want...I want what we are today and I want it tomorrow, even if that means we stay just like this."

His thumb brushes your lower lip. God, you want to kiss him again.

"No rush, pie, okay? I'll wait for you, even if..." he sucks in air and looks away, as though the idea hurts to even consider. "...even if it's never for us."

You want to kiss him again. Would that even be appropriate? After what you just said? After the emotions threatening to disrupt the foundation of your life for the past four years?

"Can...can I kiss you again?" he asks softly. You swallow and nod.

"Please."

Part 2 is out now!

[misserabella]

femme fatale

prompt; toxic reader that keeps coming back to spencer when she finds out he’s started dating someone new ‘cause she knows he can’t resist her.

cw; toxic! relationship, reader being a little shit, cheating, arguing, spencer being rough, talks of spanking and punishment, smidges of bdsm?, heavy kissing, make out session, poor max, inspired by s15ep06…

you’re smiling, as pretty as ever as spencer opens the door.

“what are you doing here?” you pout at his harsh tone, his arms crossing over his chest as he stares you down.

“aw. so angry…” you tease him. “aren’t you gonna invite me in?”

“no.” you chuckle. “you can’t keep doing this, y/n. i’ve moved on.”

“have you now?” you step forwards, and him, backwards.

“yes, i’m with max now. so i need to ask you to leave.”

you step inside his apartment, completely ignoring him and looking around. nothing’s changed since the last time you were here. every book is on its place, every photo and picture still hands from its hooks on the walls. it smells like him. you love it.

“is this her?” you take a polaroid from the wall, showing it to him. when he doesn’t answer you hum. “she’s cute.”

“stop it.” he tries to take it from you, but instead you move away your hand quickly, keeping it.

“or what? you’re gonna punish me? you loved to do that.” he groans, but you know that the memories affect him. you smirk. “remember? my pretty ass all red with the imprint of your hand?” you purr.

“enough.”

you sigh. “so boring. that max girl has make you boring.”

“no she hasn’t, she’s the best thing that has happened to me.”

“and a liar.” you rectify yourself, and he almost rolls his eyes.

“what are you doing here?” he asks again, getting tired of these games.

“i want you back.” he closes his eyes, and sighs.

“you always do this… you can’t keep coming to my apartment every couple of months expecting to get me back, y/n, not when you were the one who broke up with me.”

“why not? i always get what i want.” you bite down on your lip, rising your free hand to caress his cheek, but he captured it before you could reach him.

“not this time.” his grip tightened and you moaned for him.

“that’s the spencer that i like. i bet miss little perfect is a vanilla in bed. don’t you miss it?” you step closer. “miss me?” he stares into your eyes.

“no.”

“so many lies. you seem to forget i too am a profiler, baby.”

“shut up. don’t call me that.”

“make me.” you whispered against his lips, smirking when you see the change in his eyes, on his body. you had won, again.

spencer was quick to let go of your hand and cup your face with his hands, pulling you in in a rough and heated kiss. you quickly corresponded. god, you’ve missed this.

his tongue pushed into your mouth with a groan. he was kissing you as if he were starved. as if he had been drowning and you were air.

“spencer, thanks for the flowers, you didn’t have-“ the door of his apartment opened, and spencer hurriedly pulled away from you, but it was too late, an astonished max had already seen the two of you kissing.

you smirk and wipe your lips with the back of your hand. “hi, max.”

she stares at the two of you, before letting go of the key —that you had told her would be under the doormat in the card of the flowers you’d sent her and in which you’d asked her to come to spencer’s apartment— and the flowers and turned around to walk out.

“max! wait!” spencer tried to go after her, but stood helpless at the door frame. it was too late. he turned to look at you and you smiled.

“oops?”

-

a/n; i actually love this prompt and reader.

[brbsoulnomming]

Heart On Your Sleeve Part 6

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5

written for steddiebigbang2024 and belatedly posting here!

-----

Steve keeps dropping his heart.

Somewhere buried deep inside him there's an edge of terror that he's going to damage it even worse - but it also makes a muffled schloop sound every time it hits the ground that is, objectively, the funniest sound he's heard all night.

Robin thinks so too, because she keeps giggling every time it happens - first these tiny little snorts, then somewhat hysterical giggles, then a full on bark of laughter, and then he's dropping it again because he's laughing, too, and she's so cute, how is he supposed to not be a little in love with her?

Dustin and Erica don't seem to find it that funny, though.

"Oh my God, Steve, put your heart in your chest!" Dustin hisses at him the next time they have to slow down to wait for him to scoop it back up.

The very idea sends a chill through him, and he makes a face at Dustin.

"No!" he retorts.

"No? Are you serious? It took me weeks to get you comfortable taking it out around me and now you want to wave it around? No, that's not what I - stop that," Dustin scolds him.

Which is rude, considering Dustin is the one who told him to wave it around in the first place.

But maybe he also has a point, because Steve's grip on his heart slips on a downward wave and this time he doesn't so much drop it as toss it, sending it skittering over the floor.

"Oops," Steve says.

Robin bursts into a sharp bray of laughter.

He loves her so much.

Dustin's gone chasing after his heart, and he flinches when the kid picks it up, expecting it to hurt, to feel wrong the way it had when -

But no.

It feels nice.

"Huh," Steve says, watching Dustin bring it back over.

"Why is it all wrapped up?" Erica asks, wrinkling her nose at it.

"So it doesn't explode," Steve replies, then giggles when Robin nods solemnly and mimes an explosion with her hands.

Dustin rolls his eyes, trying to shove it at him. "Put it away!"

Steve twists away. "Nooo," he protests. "I can't breathe."

Dustin's expression goes from frustrated to concerned so quickly it gives Steve whiplash. "Your ribs? Did they break something? Shit, Erica, can you-"

Erica's already at Steve's side, tugging up his uniform shirt and squinting at his ribs. "What am I supposed to be looking for?"

"Can't breathe with my heart inside," Steve clarifies, even though he's actually pretty sure he does have a broken rib or two. It doesn't hurt, so it's a way lower priority. "I hate it, it feels like it's trapped and hollow and alone."

Dustin and Erica look at each other. Steve doesn't think they look irritated, but he can't really tell.

"Steve," Dustin says softly. "Since when?"

"Since always," Steve replies.

There's silence in response, and he worries briefly that he's said the wrong thing. But then Dustin sighs and pops open his chest, nudging his own heart aside so he can drop Steve's next to it. He closes it up again before Steve's even managed to get a fully formed thought, let alone words, and -

His heart gives a little stutter, and it's weird to feel the emotion that causes it without feeling the corresponding pounding against his own chest.

Dustin apparently feels it, though, because he squints at Steve. “What was that?”

“What was what?” Steve returns.

“You felt something!” Dustin retorts.

“Wait, you can feel what I'm feeling?” Steve demands.

“Of course I can,” Dustin scoffs, like it should be obvious. “I have your heart, don't I?”

He looks over at Robin, to see if she knew that, too, but she's too busy snickering at something the light is doing in the fountain, and -

Oh.

Wow.

Okay, that's much better.

He feels so much better, and even when he's handed his heart again after he and Robin are deposited in the movie theater -

The feeling lingers.

—

In a too bright bathroom that smells like bleach and vomit, Robin holds out her hands for his heart.

“Let me see,” she insists, and Steve doesn't think twice about handing it over.

She might as well have just put her own heart in his hands, after what she just shared with him.

Still, he feels trepidation when she unwraps it, even more when she blanches at the sight of it. But -

“Hey,” Steve says, leaning in to look more closely at it. “It looks better.”

“Better?” she demands. “This is better?”

“I guess I should put it back in my chest if it makes it better,” he says reluctantly.

Robin frowns. “But it hasn't been in your chest. Just Dustin's.”

Wait.

That's right.

“I learned about this!” Steve snaps his fingers, trying to place it. “Science class. People survive things they shouldn't if they give away their hearts?”

Robin, bless her, either remembers it better or has figured out what he's trying to say. “Your heart heals better if someone's keeping it safe for you?”

There's barely a second before she's opening her own chest, taking out her heart and putting his in instead.

“Here,” she says, handing her heart to him almost carelessly. “Watch this for me.”

The moment it's settled in his chest, though, he can feel - how scared she is, how terrifying this all seems. The edges of it are still dulled by the drugs in both their systems, but it's there.

“I'm sorry,” he tells her quietly, guilt twisting from him to his heart in her chest.

“I'm not,” she replies, sharp and stubborn.

And the thing is -

She isn't.

—

The paramedics don't insist on keeping him.

Steve thinks they might, if they could hear his own heart, but it's Robin's heart beating strong and steady in his chest, so they assume that no matter how bad he looks, he must not be in any danger.

He doesn't know what his heart sounds like, but judging by the look on the guy checking over Robin - it's not good.

But she's physically unharmed, so they must assume it's more emotional damage than anything else. He and Robin are two halves, right now, but put them together and they make a somewhat stable whole.

God, he loves her.

She must pick up the echo of his love, because she looks up, meeting his gaze. Her smile is a little sad, and he feels a rush of affection so strong that it almost takes his breath away, even if it's a little bittersweet.

"It's not like that," he tells her, as soon as she and him can huddle together away from the paramedics.

She frowns at him, a clear prompt to continue.

"I don't know if I know how to love someone this much, if it's not like that," he admits. "But I'm learning. I'm going to learn."

For Robin, he'll learn how to love someone so much he doesn't want to know what life is like without them, in a way that isn't romantic at all.

—

Robin comes home with him that night, their hearts still in each other's chests.

Steve almost can't bear the thought of taking his back at this point, and what he can pick up from Robin tells him she feels the same way.

There's a blinking light on the answering machine, and when he presses play, he smiles a little at hearing Eddie's voice.

“Hey, Steve, it's, uh, Eddie. Know I haven't stopped by in a while, but I saw the news tonight about the mall, and - can you just let me know you're okay? Okay. Yeah, okay, bye.”

He sounds a little like he's trying not to panic, and Steve feels himself go soft and fond.

“...huh,” Robin says, clearly getting an echo of what he's feeling. “Steve?”

Steve shrugs, a little helpless. “I don't know,” he admits.

She considers for a moment. “Okay.”

“Okay?” he asks.

“You don't have to know,” she tells him.

“Okay,” he agrees.

He calls Eddie back while she showers, propped up against the bathroom door with the cordless phone in his hand.

“Hey,” Steve says when Eddie picks up. “It's Steve. Sorry, I know it's late.”

“No!” Eddie rushes to say. “No, it's okay, I was up. I saw - are you okay?”

“I've been better,” Steve admits. “There was some explosions, some rubble from the building collapsing. I've got cracked ribs and a concussion.”

“Jesus Christ,” Eddie mutters. “If you could stop getting beat up, it would really give my heart a break.”

Steve grins a little. “You worried about me? Thought it was my job to look out for you.”

He can't see him, but he's pretty sure Eddie's rolling his eyes. “Yeah, and who looks out for you, huh, asshole?”

Steve hums. “It's good to hear your voice. I missed you.”

Eddie's quiet for a moment. Then, “Do you want - do you need someone to come keep an eye on you, make sure you wake up every hour?”

He kind of wishes Eddie'd finished what he started to say, because yeah, he does want him, but that's not the question Eddie ended up asking.

“Robin's here,” Steve says. “She was caught in it, too, but she didn't get too injured. She's going to stay over tonight.”

There's a moment of silence.

“Right, of course,” Eddie mutters.

“Can you come over tomorrow?” Steve finds himself asking without really thinking about it. Eddie's never been over - he's technically never hung out with Eddie outside of school or work - but shit, he wants it. “I think the drugs'll be out of my system by then, so I won't be too annoying. You can meet Robin.”

“You do know I've met her, right?”

Steve makes a tsk noise. “You've met Robin from band, just like she's met Eddie from the lunch tables. But you don't really know each other, not like I-”

He cuts off, because he's not really sure he has the right to say that. Does he really know either of them like that?

Whatever. If he doesn't, he wants to.

“You do better as part of a trio, huh?” Eddie asks quietly.

“Well, yeah,” Steve agrees. “But this is different, this is better.”

Eddie snorts. “Sure, you're not the third wheel anymore.”

“It's not that,” Steve protests. It feels important for him to get this right, though he's not sure why. “I don’t care about being a third wheel, it never bothered me. But Tommy and Carol… there were always conditions, with their friendship. The older we got, the more there were. And I love Nancy and Jonathan-”

His heart spasms. He can't feel it, but he feels the emotions, and Robin's heartbeat in his own chest kicks up. He mutes the phone, for a moment, knocks on the bathroom door. “I’m okay!” he calls through it, feels a wave of relief coming from her, and lets himself feel simple, uncomplicated affection.

“But things are complicated with them,” he continues after he unmutes the phone. “I think they always will be.”

“And what, I'm uncomplicated?” Eddie asks, but he sounds more amused than anything else.

“You're something,” Steve agrees, not bothering to try not to sound warm and fond.

Eddie blows out a puff of air. “I have band practice tomorrow,” he says. “But I'll call you sometime later, okay?”

No, that doesn't sound okay.

“Is this one of those things where you're not really asking me if it's okay, you're just saying it so it sounds better?” Steve asks. “What would you do if I said it wasn't okay? If I said I really wanted you to come over?”

Eddie's quiet again. “Do you want me to come over?”

“Yes,” Steve replies immediately, because he's had it saved up since Eddie didn't finish asking him it in the first place.

If his heart were in his own chest, he's pretty sure it would be thumping in anticipation.

“Not tonight,” Eddie says finally. “But I do want to be friends with you, okay? I'll call you.”

He hangs up after that, and Steve stares at the phone until Robin comes out of the bathroom and finds him like that.

She doesn't have to ask what happened - probably because she felt what happened - she just sits next to him a while.

This is already written, and my plan is to post one part a day until it's all up here!

-----

Part 7

Taglist (always happy to add more to this if anyone wants): @fairytalesreality @lostonceandneverfound @wheneverfeasible @awkwardgravity1 @theintrovertedintrovert @thewickedkat @ravenfrog @scarlet-malfoy @missmagillicuddy @xxfiction-is-my-realityxx @ollyxar @cringe-culture-is-dead-99 @thedragonsaunt @makewavesandwar @cryptid-system @ajeff855 @mae-liz @the-fantastical-asexual @jettestar @warlordess @persnicketysquares @samsoble @my-love-of-books @mydysfunctionallife @dreamercec @holyangelstudentuniverse @breealtair @shunna @xtraordinarally

[burrowdarling]

A Magical Surprise

Summary: You plan a trip with your little family to Disney, but you have a magical surprise for Joe of your own. Requested by this anon!

Pairings: dad!Joe Burrow x mom!reader

Warnings: none, some Disney adventure fluff, Joe having major dad energy, pregnancy announcement

Note: Hi! Thank you to the anon who requested this. Some good ole tooth-rotting fluff after all the spice I've written recently. I think this turned out cute, and I somewhat proofread it (oops). Hope you all enjoy!

Word Count: 1.8k

Check out my Masterlist here!

Taglist: @burrowbarbie @definitelynotdomanique @one-sweet-gubler @plushkhiii @enchantedinfinity @iosivb9 Feel free to comment or message me if you'd like to be added to the list!

You and Joe had talked at length about taking your little family on a getaway. The two of you as a couple hadn’t taken a trip since you had your son, aside from going to see Joe play. It took a bit of time for you to get to that point and were only able to travel to so many games. Your son had not taken a trip outside of Joe’s games before either, having both of your families local was a blessing. After some planning and brainstorming, the two of you decided what better place to take him than Disney. He was at that age where he was able to go on the rides and actually enjoy it as well as you and Joe getting to bask in some memories while he was little. Everything was still so new to him in his little world, that being able to bring his favorite characters to life would be an amazing sight to see.

In the days leading up to the trip, you had been feeling somewhat off. You hadn’t thought too much of it, but there were some similarities to the symptoms you had felt when you were pregnant with your son. You decided to play it safe and take a pregnancy test before you traveled. Sure as shit, the small plus sign popped up fairly quickly and confirmed your suspicions. You were so excited, having discussed before that it felt like the right time to try for baby #2. It was eating at you that you hadn't told him yet but had the perfect idea planned out to surprise him during your trip. 

You were able to play how you were feeling off to Joe by saying how you must’ve gotten a little bit of something from work, but how you knew you’d be feeling better in time. He seemed wary, but took your word for it, doting on you for anything you asked for. 

“I just want to make sure you’re okay mamas, gotta be feeling well so you can enjoy our trip” Joe would say, bringing you crackers and seltzer to settle your stomach. Little did he know, it was your morning sickness hitting you in full force. You couldn’t wait to tell him.

Your flight was a breeze, your son sleeping the entire way like a saint. It gave you and Joe some time to catch up and just talk. It was so nice getting to reconnect together with no other worries to bother you while you’re in the air. Being married to a star had its perks, having taken a private flight meant no needing to wait around in an airport full of strangers and a smooth arrival, avoiding baggage claim and a car waiting for you. Joe loaded in all of your bags while you got your son settled into his carseat, making your way from the tarmac to the hotel. 

After a long day of travel, you got your son to settle down to bed somewhat easily. You were laid in in the hotel king bed when Joe came in from 

You got up bright and early the next day, hoping to beat the rush of the crowd. You’d also hoped you wouldn’t be bothered, having the fast pass as well as going during an off peak time. Your son's face had lit up with excitement the moment he got inside the gates, wondering what someone as small as he was must’ve been thinking about everything around him. His entire childhood was right before his eyes.

“I wanna go on dumbo” he exclaimed, about to take off before Joe reached out to scoop him up into his arms, a fit of giggles ensuing.

“Not so fast little man, this isn’t like the park at home we got to keep you close by. We can go on Dumbo, let’s go get in line” Joe said after he got him to settle enough to listen, his little arms flailing with elation at his dad’s word. You look at your two boys with a warm feeling in your chest, knowing today was the day you were going to tell him he was 

After quite a few rides, it was getting to be lunch time. You could tell that your boys were hungry, knowing you’d need to stop for food soon if you were gonna keep at it for the rest of the day. Your little boy was starting to get a little hangry, ready to throw a tantrum when he was told to wait for his mouse ears hat he wanted. You assured him he would get it, after he got some much needed food in his belly. That was, until you realized this was the perfect opportunity for your reveal idea.

“Hey hun, would you be able to grab us some lunch? I’ll wait for the hat to get made and meet you both at the table” you said, silently hoping he would abide by your request. The food court wasn’t far from the stand, knowing he could keep an eye on you from a close distance.

“Sure thing, want your go-to?” he asked, your boy in his arms resting on his side. You nodded, giving him a kiss of approval before he walked off to get some lunch. You exhaled a breath you didn;t realize you were holding in, knowing this would be a big moment for you two.

You got to talking with the park employee that was working the stand, explaining your idea to her and gushing over how cute it was going to be. You were going to have your son’s name stitched into the front of the hat. On the back, you had her add in “Big Brother”, letting the reveal come from the little hat on your son's head. She got it back to you fairly quickly, the sight of it beginning tears to your eyes from how happy this life has made you. 

You were excited to be growing your family with the man of your dreams, snapping yourself out of your thoughts to compose yourself. You were making your way to your family when your heart melted all over again. Joe and your son were sitting at a picnic bench, your son trying his hardest to reach the table on his own from the bench seat, but being lifted up by Joe to be sat on his lap. He seemed perfectly content with the new seat, easily able to reach his food on his own. 

Joe looked up at you as you approached the table, a big grin across his face when you sat down. Your son had matched his energy, eyes lighting up when he saw you with the ears in hand.

“Hey mamas, we got you some chicken tenders and fries” Joe said while your son had cut him off “those are your favorite, mine too” he said as he reached over to take some of your fries with his little hands. You laughed as he did so, pushing the small tray closer so that he could reach. 

“I got your hat for you sweetheart, we can put it on after we eat. What ride do you wanna go on next?” you asked, hoping to keep his immediate focus off of the hat clutched in your hands. He placed his index finger on his chin, tapping as if he was deep in thought. He pointed his finger straight up with a look of surprise on his face when he must've made his decision.

“I wanna see Mickey Minnie castle” he cheered happily. You couldn’t say no, even if that was on the other side of the park from where you were currently. You and Joe exchanged looks, knowing one of you was going to be carrying him not too long into your walk.

As you got closer to the castle, your son was itching to walk. He looked absolutely adorable with his little ears on, seeing the secret stitched onto the back as you walked close behind your boys. You snapped a quick picture as they walked up to the castle, knowing this would be a memory you wouldn’t want to forget. 

When you reached the castle, you asked one of the many photographers around to get a photo of the three of you. The photographer snapped a couple of shots, thanking her and moving on before you made your move towards the reveal. 

“Joe why don’t you flip his ears around, I think there was something on the back” you said nonchalantly as you stepped away from him. He tilted his head in confusion, but listened to your words. You watched as he slipped the elastic band from under your son’s chin and turned the back to the front, pausing to read the words in front of him. 

Joe turned his head slowly towards you as he processed the words “Big Brother” on your son's head. He seemed at a loss for words for a few seconds before he spoke up.

“Are you serious? You’re pregnant again?” his voice hopeful as you saw tears begin to well in his eyes. You gave him a small nod as tears started to come up for you too. Joe took a few steps over to you with your son in his arms as he embraced you in as tight of a hug he could muster.

“I’m so damn happy baby, how long have you known?” Joe questioned, his voice full of adoration from the news. 

“Not too long, it’s the whole reason I haven’t been feeling well. It’s been the hardest secret I’ve had to keep, you have no idea how badly I wanted to tell you” you laughed lightly, watching him process and a realization cross his face.

“I knew you couldn’t have gotten something from work that fast. God, I’m so excited I get to go through all of this with you, this was such a cute way to tell me even though I wish I knew sooner so I could’ve been there for you more” he set your son down, giving you a one-armed squeeze while your son grabbed onto your leg.

“Everything you did and still do for me is perfect. You’re an amazing dad to our little boy and I can’t wait to see how you handle one more little boy or girl” you said, giving him a kiss to add a finality to your words.

“Is it bad that I’m hoping for a girl so we both can have our own little minis?” Joe asked while lifting your son onto his shoulders to give him a good view.

“I just know you would be an amazing girl dad if it’s anything like how you treat me” you said, imagining Joe with your daughter and knowing how much he would spoil her.

“If I treat you like my queen, I would treat her like my princess,” he said as you all looked up at the castle in front of you. Your life felt like a fairytale that you got to live with your dream man.

[harrysxcarolina]

casually fallin’

pt. 2 / pt. 1

b. eilish

wc: 8.4k

warnings: wlw, smut, angst, fluff, underage drinking, cussing, also half way proof read.. lol oops there’s probably more if so let me know

come out and play

august 27th, 2021

sophomore year

You were running late. Clasping your stuff in your hands as you slam the door shut trying to juggle all the shit in your hands. Groaning in annoyance as your phone vibrates causing it to fall out of your grip into the grass. Choosing to ignore it you quickly pick it up and rush the remaining distance to your car.

Throwing your stuff onto your passenger seat you check your phone.

Chels

I’m here, waiting in this long ass line. Didn’t think this place would be so packed. Who would have guessed everyone would be in a rush to move back in lol

Chuckling to yourself you send her a quick reply that you’re on your way and that you call dibs on the bigger side of the room. She responds back with the laughing emoji. Tossing your phone on the seat next to your other stuff you quickly start your car and make sure you can see out of all your windows.

Ignoring the fact you may have slightly over packed again this year you put your car in drive and make your way towards campus.

***

“Okay I think that’s the last one.” You mumble as you carry the last box into your shared room. Placing the box down on top of your desk flinging your body over your bed with a groan your legs feel like jello. You hear Chelsea’s laugh behind you. “Don’t laugh at me.” You state as you turn your body to look at her. “Well if you didn’t bring every single thing you own you wouldn’t be struggle bussin’ like it’s leg day.” Chelsea chirps back as she walks over and pulls you out of your slumped position.

“Maybe if they didn’t put us on the third fucking floor I wouldn’t be struggling.” You grumble as you try to fight her pull but fail miserably. Chelsea’s laugh echoes off the walls, “Keep tellin’ yourself that kid. We see how well it’s working for you now.” She finishes as she succeeds in pulling you to your feet. “C’mon. We gotta get you all unpacked. We got plans tonight.” She says with a smirk and a shimmy of her shoulders.

Trying to get you to laugh, it works, a small smile works its way across your face as a soft chuckle leaves your lips. “Do we have to stay long?” You ask as you grab your first bag of stuff and begin to sort it on your bed. “Act like you won’t disappear as soon as you see Billie,” Chelsea snorts as she grabs hangers out of the shared closet and starts to help sort your clothes.

Your cheeks heat up at the mention of Billie. You couldn’t deny the feelings that have slowly blossomed over the eight months spent with Billie. You’ve spent every free second you had together. From helping each other study for your first exams. To surprising each other at your jobs. Every weekend since that night last December have been dedicated to each other. The cute dates you’ve both taken each other on.

You both still weren’t out publicly both still new to this world of dating. If you’re being honest you have grown to become confused about your and Billie’s relationship. You did everything together. You’ve spent many nights tangled up in each other's sheets exploring each other's bodies. You’ve shared your deepest secrets and desires, yet the one question that has been bouncing around in your head the last couple weeks has still yet to be solved.

Were you ever going to be official?

Were you ever going to be her girl?

You’ve talked about it before. Once.

“Hey you,” you hear her soft voice before you see her take a seat next to you. Laying her books down on the table and slinging her bag on the back of the chair. Pulling her chair closer to yours she quickly reaches for your free hand under the table and gives it a squeeze smiling at you.

You feel your heart flutter as you return her smile.

“Hey,” you whisper back glancing down at your hidden intertwined hands.

“You okay?” She asks concern laced through her voice as she searches for your eyes. Her piercing blue ones look right through you as you take a deep breath. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just been- just been thinking.” You reply.

“Oh yeah? About what, pretty?” She asks, her smirk growing as she adjusts the backwards cap covering her dark locks.

Biting your lip you debate on whether to bring it up. Especially now in the middle of the library. Not that anyone was partially paying attention to the two of you, but still it’s an important, well private, conversation.

Billie senses your hesitation causing her smirk to drop slightly. Her eyes searching for yours once again. “Pretty?” She asks softly, giving you her full attention.

“Just about us-“ you whisper glancing down at your opened book your fingers loosen around hers as you feel your heartbeat pick up. She’s quick to tighten her grip on your hand pulling your attention back to her.

“What about us?” She asks hesitantly. Her thumb rubbing the back of your hand in a calming way. “Just that,” you take another deep breath. “Just that I really like you Billie and I can’t help but wonder if there is going to be more than this?” You state. Looking around you, lowering your voice, “I love spending time with you and I get it if you’re not ready for more, but I don’t want to just have you privately. I want more with you..” the words whispers off your lips squeezing her hand before letting go.

She sits there stunned. “We should- um- we should probably get back to our notes.” You rush as you turn back in your chair and go back to studying. Out of the corner of your eye you see Billie slowly, hesitantly, copying your actions. Grabbing a pen out of her bag and opening up her book, you notice her leg bouncing anxiously under the table. The tip of the pen between her rosy pink lips. You notice the way her jaw ticks as the tip of her tongue plays with the pen. The way her throat swallows out as she lets out a quiet cough.

You spend the next hour starting at the same paragraph. Your thoughts run wild as you try and steal glances at Billie. You feel your chest tighten as you chew on your cheek. Definitely wasn’t the time or place.

That was back in May. Shaking your head trying desperately to rid the thoughts you quickly grab the set of folded clothes and place them in a drawer.

“Do you think it’s a little weird that she still hasn’t asked me to be her girlfriend yet?” You quietly ask Chelsea as you keep your back towards her distracting yourself with clearing the box out on your desk. Slowly putting all your desktop supplies in the mapped out spots nervously waiting for a response from your best friend.

“I mean you guys did start seeing each other in January, but that's not taking into consideration the time you two also spent together from the moment you first met leading up to New Years Eve. You guys were weirdly drawn to each other very early on. Why do you ask?” She responds as she plops down on your bed looking at you with her hands folded in her lap.

You weren’t getting out of this one.

“I just have been thinking that I’m- I’m ready for something more than casual dates and hookups.” You admit as you pause your movements and glance over your shoulder at Chelsea. Her eyes soften as they meet yours.

“Have you told her that?” She asks hesitantly.

Nodding your head yes, “Right before finals.” You state leaning up against the desk chair playing with the rings on your fingers. ”And what did she have to say?” She questions as she stands up off the bed and walks over to you, her eyebrows furrowing in confusion. With a shrug of your shoulder your lips find themselves between your teeth. “It wasn’t exactly the time and place for the conversation.” You admit.

Chelsea nods her head in understanding.

“You haven’t spoken of it again since then?” She asks as she reaches for the now empty box and places it under your bed. Your silence is the only answer she needs as she turns on her heel and makes her way towards the closet. “Well then let's make tonight so great you forget about all the thoughts swirling around in your head. Everything will work out the way it’s supposed to when it’s supposed to. You can’t rush these things.” She states as she scans through your side of clothes until something catches her eyes. Smirking and nodding her head she pulls out one of your brand new dresses.

Holding it up for your approval you nod your head slightly with a small smirk working its way across your face.

***

Walking into the cramped house you can’t help but question why you always say yes to these things. You’d much rather have a night in with either a good book and a nice cup of coffee or binge watching your favorite movies with your friends. Grabbing Chelsea's arm tighter as you lead the both of you through the swarm of bodies invading every inch of this house. Working your way towards the kitchen in hopes that it would be less populated.

“Finaaaallllyyyyyyy!!” Chelsea yells as you push your way through the last cluster of people. The breathable air flowing in through the open windows takes over your senses as you welcome the clean air over the smoke, alcohol, and sweat filled inhabiting the previous rooms.

“You want a drink?” You ask over your shoulder as you walk up to the wild arrangement of options on the counter. “Are you really asking me that?” Chelsea jokes as she bounces her way over to you and helps you pick out your poisons for the night.

You and Chelsea laugh as she accidentally over pours and spills all over the counter. Quickly trying to grab paper towels before the liquid spreads too far you hear one of your favorite sounds. A familiar laugh. Her laugh.

Your eyebrows furrow as you look around trying to find where the sound is coming from. Glancing over your shoulder you hear it once more but louder. Noticing through one of the open windows a group of people migrating in and around the open hot tub that sits in the backyard of the frat house. Taking a step closer and leaning up against the kitchen counter you peek out the window.

Your heart stops at what you see.

It’s Billie.

Submerged in the hot tub.

Sitting across her ex, Josh’s lap.

Wearing from what you can see his oversized white t-shirt. Her dark hair tied up in a loose bun. A few fallen pieces framing her face perfectly.

Her head is thrown back in laughter as his arms are wrapped around her waist holding her lower torso against him as his smile grows seeing her reaction to his previous words.

Your stomach drops and swirls as the pit of your stomach grows in knots.

Your grip on the counter tightens and you start to feel the tips of your fingers get tingly.

“Whatcha looking at?” Chelsea asks as she skips her way over and bumps into you. Her laugh falls short as her eyes catch sight of what stole your attention. ‘“Oh.” Is all she was capable of saying. Her eyes glancing up at you as her eyes soften.

“Maybe it’s not-“ She starts.

Shaking your head fighting back the tears that are swelling up you turn your back and lean against the counter. Lacing your arms tightly around yourself your bottom lip finds its home between your teeth. The mingling outside continues as you and Chelsea stand there in silence. Smacking her lips together Chelsea lets out a huff as she makes her way back over to your drinks.

“Like I said, tonight is going to be a great night. With or without Billie.” Chelsea demands as she holds your cup out for you to join her. Reaching for the cup and tipping it back while taking a drink the side door creaks open as outside voices invade your space. Looking up not missing the group of wet half naked people waddling their way in you catch eyes with Billie. You don’t miss the rosiness of her cheeks. The way the water droplets gracefully slide their way down her porcelain skin.

Looking away you quickly wipe your eyes and begin talking to Chelsea about needing to go to the store to get a few more decorations for your guys room. Trying to distract yourself from the girl slowly making her way towards you. Billie grabbing one of the folded towels off the counter and quietly saying goodbye to the group. Her pulse is racing as she can’t help but notice the way you are clenching yourself. The way your bottom lip is swollen and red is no doubt caused by your teeth. The way your chest slightly heaves as if you were trying to catch your breath.

“Hey you,” she cautiously whispers as she finishes wiping the water droplets off her exposed skin.

Throwing her a quick glance, a small weak smile that barely reaches your cheeks. “Hey.” You respond.

“I think I saw Amanda back there dancing her little ass off. I think I’m gonna go join her. Let me know if you need me.” She states as she slowly starts backing herself away. Your eyes widening silently begging her not to go just yet. Slightly shaking your head in protest as her eyes state ‘you’ll be okay’ as she turns on her heel and zigs zags her way back down the hallway slowly disappearing in the crowd. Taking a deep breath you bring the red solo cup back up to your lips and welcome the tangy liquid.

“I thought you weren’t coming tonight?” You ask as the shakiness in your tone is evident. Gulping down your courage you steal a glance at the blue eyed girl beside you, who was silently itching to trace your warm skin with her chilly fingertips. Wanting to kiss and trace all the hurt away. She is silent for just a split second before taking the last step towards you. Her body heat slowly comes back with aid of the warm summer air.

“I didn’t think I would be able to, and then work let me go early knowing it was move-in weekend. As I was leaving I got a message from Chelsea stating you guys would be here and that I should come if I had the time-“ She rushed out trying to explain.

“How did you end up in the hot tub with your ex if you came here to see me?” You ask the heat rising to your cheeks as your temper gets the best of you. The confusion racing through you as you think of every single moment spent within the last eight months with her. All the butterflies. All the kisses. The touches. The dates you guys spent hours planning for each other just to make the other smile. All the moments she made your world stop by her compliments. Just to bask in how shy and nervous she makes you feel. Just to have your heart feel like it shattered all in the matter of a mere few seconds.

Your thoughts were running wild as you stood there in complete silence. Were you just a joke to her? Was it all a game? The thought that this wasn’t as serious as you thought it was causes an unsettling feeling in the pit of your stomach.

“Honestly, I’m not sure how we all ended up out there in the hot tub. We were all just hanging out and I was waiting for you. Someone had asked if we wanted to get in,” She said as her shoulders caved in and her head hung low. Her lip between her teeth. Reaching her hand up to grasp your hip. Taking a step back, you place the cup down on the counter. Her hand froze in place as she looked up at you. A flash of hurt glazes over her orbs as she takes a baby step towards you.

“I don’t- I don’t get it,” You whisper, glancing down at your hands as your body rocks slightly back and forth on the heels of your feet. “What are we doing Billie?” You state finally meet her stare. Eyes flickering between all your features as she shakes her head in confusion. Licking her lips as she feels her heart beating faster against her chest.

“You don’t get what?” She asks as her thoughts swirl around her pretty head. Tucking a piece of fallen hair behind her ear she takes a deep breath glancing around the room. Silently thanking that no one else was gathered in the kitchen. The loud music is slowly fading into the background as you both feel the soft breeze from the open window. The chatter of all the different conversations invade for just a brief second.

”What do you want with me?” You question as you grab the red solo cup once again and finish it off. Turning quickly to grab a bottle off the island you pour yourself another drink. You hear Billie scoff as she follows you.

“You aren’t serious are you?” She asks as she positions herself between you and the counter stopping you from adding anymore alcohol to your cup. Glancing up at you, your eyes meet. “Why do you always avoid the question?” You snort back.

“I’m not avoiding the question!” She exclaims as her posture straightens up. “I just don’t understand why you’re asking me that question like that.” Chuckling to yourself, “Billie it’s been eight months of whatever you want to call this. So let this be the last time I ask you. What do you want with me?” You state firmly. Your chest heaving slightly as you try to control the tightness that is building in your chest. Your fingers grip the cup tighter as the tension in the air gets thicker.

Billie gets quiet. Her bottom lip found a home between her teeth. She takes a deep breath as she takes her hair out of the messy bun. Her dark locks cascading down her shoulders framing her face perfectly. Which didn’t help with the burning want for her that was growing deep in your core despite the hurt and confusion flowing through your veins.

“I-” she starts but stops herself. Giving her a couple seconds in hopes she chooses to let you in her head. You notice she starts to fidget with the rings that lay perfectly along her fingers.

Raising your eyebrows as a scoff leaves your lips.

“I guess that answers my question.” You state as you bring the red solo cup back up to your lips downing the entirety of the drink. Billie gripping your wrist quickly as she watches you in shock.The both of you knowing you weren’t one to drink often.

“Would you stop trying to get wasted while we talk?” She exclaims as she removes the cup from your grasp, placing it on the island. The look on her face is pure stunned as she watches the colors change in your eyes. She sees the pang of hurt flash across your face. “What conversation Billie? You can’t give me an answer anytime I try to talk to you about it.” You exclaim as you begin to pace the kitchen floor. Your hands racking themselves deep into your hair trying to rub away the thoughts that were swirling around like crazy.

“Do you know how frustrating that is? How confusing is it? To have all these feelings for you, to feel things I’ve never fucking felt before, for a girl who tells me privately she wants me only to find her on her exes lap laughing and having a great time. Especially after you canceled on attending with me.” You express as you fight the tightness that builds tighter and tighter in your chest. The realization that you’ve fallen in love with Billie, not sure if she feels the same as you, hits you like a ton of bricks. The tears swell up in your eyes, stopping your movements in the middle of the kitchen. Your back to her as your arms cross over your chest trying to hold yourself together as you can’t fight back the hot tears anymore.

The silence is deafening as the cool breeze blows through your hair gently tickling your warm cheek. Quickly wiping your face before anymore tears can escape you freeze as you feel a pair of familiar arms wrap themselves around your waist.

She quietly shushes you as she pulls you tighter against her front. You welcome her scent and the familiar pull of her arms around you for a moment. Closing your eyes, taking a deep breath, as your mind finally quiets down.

“I’m sorry,” She whispers into your back.

You feel your heartbeat begin to slow as you even out your breaths.

“I can’t keep doing this Billie,” you breathe out as you gently place your hands on top of hers. Giving them a gentle squeeze before removing them from your body. You feel her body tense up as you take a step away from her. Her eyes widen in panic as she watches you turn to face her. Dropping her arms to her side she feels her hands get clammy. Her heart beating so hard she swore she could feel it beating throughout her body.

“I can’t keep feeling like this. I feel crazy,” you whisper. Glancing down at the floor as the tip of your shoe scuffs the hardwood floor. “Billie, I've fallen in love with you, and I can’t help but think that this is all one sided.” You state coming clean. You hear a gasp escape from Billie causing you to look up through your lashes. You fight back the knots growing in your stomach as you notice her stare is fully on you.

“You really think that low of me?” She whispers as she quickly reaches up and wipes the tears that broke through hopeful that you didn’t notice. You did. Her hands balled into fits at her side as the baggy t-shirt slowly slid down her shoulder. The neck stretched out no doubt caused by it being over worn. Reaching up you slide it back up to its rightful position. Your warm skin gently brushes hers causing a shiver to consume her.

“I don’t know what to think Bils-” you respond quietly. “I can’t just be your little experiment. I can’t pretend that this isn’t more for me. I know what I want, so maybe I just think it’s best if we-”

“No, don't say that.” She rushes as she quickly looks up at you taking a step forward so the tips of your shoes just barely touch each other. Her hands find themselves on your hips. Holding you in place. “Please- please don’t.” She begs. Her lower lip captured between her teeth looking up at you with the softest pair of blue orbs.

“I’m sorry Bils, I just think we are on different pages, and it’s not fair to either one of us to continue further.” You reply before you slowly remove her hands from your body taking a step back before grabbing your cup off the counter. Grasping the rim tightly as you turn on your heel hoping that the weight of the cup in your hand would be enough to distract you as you walk away from Billie. Your free hand clasps your chest tightly trying desperately to hold yourself together as you zig zag your way through the crowd. Refusing to look back at the dark hair girl you poured your heart and soul into.

You made the right choice. You had to walk away. You had to. Just breathe. You’ll be okay. You made the right choice.

The chant running over and over in your mind. Trying to talk yourself into believing it.

***

The loud music echoes off the walls. Searching through the crowd of people in hopes to spot Chelsea but fail miserably. Groaning under your breath you knew coming was a bad idea. The cup in your hand slightly spills over the rim and down your hand as someone brushes past you. They shoot a quiet sorry as they shuffle their way deeper into the crowd. Taking a deep breath you wipe your hand on your dress and search for a quiet place to escape to as you decide to just try and text Chelsea’s.

Sighing happily as you find an open room down the hall. Closing the door behind you as you glance around. Chuckling to yourself as you notice they must have turned this room into a storage room as you see boxes upon boxes stacked up along with other household items they probably had no idea where to put.

A small smile works its way across your lips as you slide yourself down the open wall. Pulling your phone out and quickly shooting a text to Chelsea to see if she is ready to leave and letting her know where you are hiding out at.

Taking a deep breath you scroll on your phone in hopes to distract you of the recent events between you and Billie. A few moments pass before you see a response from Chelsea letting you know she’s getting a snack to sit tight.

Before you have time to respond you hear a soft knock on the door and are soon greeted with her presence. Glancing up at her as you set your cup and phone down on the floor you feel your chin quiver and the tears swell back up. Not fighting against them this time as you let them flow freely.

Chelsea is quick to sit beside you putting her snack down beside her pulling you into her side as she holds your head tightly against her person. “Shh, shh it's okay darling. Let it all out.” She whispers as she holds you. Letting you take your time to collect yourself. You don’t know how long the both of you sat on the floor before your body had nothing left to give you. Your cheeks stained from the saltiness of your tears. Your lashes clumped together by your ruined mascara. Your chest heaves slightly as you try to match your breathing to Chelseas. Letting you take all the time you need she grabs the spoonful of peanut she had waiting in the jar up to her lips.

“Do you wanna tell me what happened?” She softly asks as her fingers run themselves through your locks. Gently massaging your scalp with her fingers. Shaking your head no against her shoulders as you play with a loose string on the hem of your dress. She offers you the next spoonful of peanut butter. You feel her take a deep breath before she presses her lips to the crown of your head as you take the spoon from her grasp. “You know she’s going crazy out there looking for you right?” Chelsea states as she moves all the fallen pieces of hair that lay in your vision. Tucking them behind your ear as she still holds you to her side. Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion as you work the peanut butter down your taste buds.

“Tracked my ass down on the dance floor and demanded that I help her find you. So whatever happened between the two of you she clearly wants to fix it. She wouldn’t take no for an answer.” She states with a chuckle. “A stubborn one that one is. Here I thought you were the stubborn one.” She jokes. “Look I know that this is all new territory for the both of you, and I can’t imagine that it would be easy to navigate it, but what I do know is that that girl is head over heels for you-”

“Chels-” you start.

“Uh-huh let me finish. Now I haven’t spent as much time with her as you, but one thing is clear. She is head over heels for you. People get scared, love. People do stupid things at stupid times that we can’t explain, but that doesn’t mean they can’t love you or that they don’t love you. You’ve always been so ready for love. So open to it, but others need time to- need time to process and work through it. There’s no time frame on love, especially if it's the real deal. It’s always worth the wait for the right person.” She finishes as she uses her free hand to gently tip your chin up causing you to make eye contact.

“I think that she is your real deal.” Chelsea states as you both sit there in silence.

“It doesn’t matter anymore. I fucked it all up Chels. I-I-I really messed up, and I don’t know if it’s fixable.” You whisper as your chest tightens once more. The tears build up and threaten to escape. Her warm hands instantly cup your cheeks. Looking up into her eyes you can’t help but capture your lip between your teeth. Shaking your head before closing your eyes as the thought of you leaving her behind hits you once again. You hear her broken voice on repeat.

“Please- please don’t.”

“Hey, look at me. It’s fixable. I promise. If you really love her and you really want it to work you will find a way to fix it.” She nods as she wipes the last of your tears and aids you in standing up. “She’s outside waiting.” She states as she bends back down to pick up the open peanut butter container. Your eyes widen in shock.

”What?”

A smirk works its way across her face, “I told you she wouldn’t take no for an answer.” She shrugs as she takes the spoon back and takes a step back to look at you. “Okay, I’m going to go back out there and probably get fucked up. You’re going to stay in here until you both gush out all your feelings and may just maybe fuck it out.” She states with a smirk as she looks around the room. Her smirk slightly falls, “and they say romance is dead.” She looks up at you with a shrug of her shoulder.

“You really think we are going to fuck in here Chelsea? Girl for one we are at a damn frat party, and for two, I literally just broke off whatever was going on between us not even an hour ago. I doubt either one of us will be in the mood to do anything but cry.” You whisper as you tuck your hair behind your ear and adjust your dress, quickly running your hands across your ass hoping to wipe away any dirt or dust.

A deep laugh erupts off Chelsea, “You really gotta get out to more parties love. There’s a lot more fucking then you think. Plus, who knows maybe just maybe this will all work out and you’ll be crying out in pleasure instead of pain.” Her smirk takes over her face as she slowly backs away from you, inching closer and closer to the door.

“Way to be cliche,” you say as a soft chuckle falls off your lips.

“You ready?” Chelsea asks as she grips the door handle, looking at you for confirmation before she lets the girl who stole your heart walk through the door. Taking a deep breath before nodding your head you do one final look over, making sure to fix your hair of any fly aways before Chelsea slowly opens the door and steps out. You hear their muffled voices as you fight the urge to look at the door and wait for her to walk in. Afraid to confront all the unspoken thoughts and feelings brewing between the both of you.

Within seconds you hear the door creak open wider as her figure slowly steps in. You are quick to move your gaze up and take in her presence. Her body slightly slouched as her head hung low. Not sure where to place her gaze as she takes a few more steps towards you. Her hands reaching up and swiping the baby hairs out of her eyes. Her tongue makes quick work in wetting her lips before she moves her gaze to you.

“Hey you,” she whispers in a hushed broken tone you’ve never heard before. Her hands dig deep into her pockets as she stops her movements just inches from you. Her once flushed face is now pale as she nervously nibbles on her lip. Her foot kicks the floor beneath her as she moves her gaze down to the floor as well.

“Hi you,” you reply softly, causing her eyes to quickly meet yours. A small flash of emotion you can’t identify flashes through her orbs as she fights a one sided smile. Her gaze moves throughout your features before landing back on your stare.

“You walked away from me.” She states as she hesitantly takes a step closer.

Your breath catches deep in your chest. You can’t help the pang of hurt that erupts in its wake as you fidget with your fingers. Biting your lip as it quivers your gaze moving down to the floor. You feel her presence before you hear her soft voice. Her fingers gently grab yours as she squeezes your hand before she interlaces them. “Please don’t ever walk away from me again.” Taking the last step before she is standing directly in front of you. Inches apart.

You feel her body heat radiating off her in waves as her scent invades your senses.

It hasn’t even been an hour and you’ve desperately missed her. Even with all the hurt and confusion racing through you she was the only one you wanted. The only one you needed. Her forehead finds yours as she breathes you in.

“I’m in love with you too, pretty girl.” She confesses as she moves her free hand to hold your hip gently pulling you flush against her. Not letting you go this time. “I should have told you sooner. I should have just been honest. I’m so sorry. I was so scared that I would mess everything up. That I would do something wrong and you would leave.That I wouldn’t be a good enough girlfriend for you.” She rushes out as her hand flexes against your hip. You feel her chest brush against yours as she looks up at you meeting your eyes.

Your breath catches as you reach up and trace her cheek smiling when you see them warm up under your touch.

“The only thing that you could do to mess it up would be to keep all those thoughts locked up in that pretty head of yours. I can’t read your mind.” You state with a soft chuckle.

“You’re the only thing ever on my mind. From the second I wake up to the movement I close my eyes at night. You are everything to me. God- I never- I never met to hurt you. Everything just got so jumbled in my head and I fucked it all up.” She proclaims as her lip quivers.

You’re quick to grip her cheeks between your hands. Forcing her to look at you.

“Someone once told me that if they are the real deal they are worth waiting for. You’re worth waiting for. I’m sorry for how impatient I’ve been. I should have been more understanding and seen that you needed me to be patient.” You whisper as Billie drops your intertwined hands and reaches up to cup your cheek, her thumb gently rubbing your smooth skin.

“No, don't do that. None of this is your fault. You tried to talk to me. I made you feel- made you feel like, shit I made you feel like I wasn’t in this.That I can’t stand the thought of losing you. I made you think that my whole world wouldn’t fucking stop having to watch you walk from me. My heart fucking shattered. It’s literally all on me, my love. I’m so sorry.” She declares before crashing her lips onto yours. You freeze as your whole body feels like it's on fire.Your hands drop to your sides. Her hands are still gripping your cheeks as you move your lips against hers.

A low moan leaves her lips as you kiss her back, her grip working its way to your hair pulling you down to her. Your hands land on her torso slowly sliding themselves behind her back tugging her forward so her stomach and chest is pulled tightly against yours. Tilting your heads deepening the kiss as her tongue swipes across your lower lip asking for permission.

Slowly opening your lips to her warm tongue you can’t help the smile that crosses your face. Her grip on your hair tightens as she works her tongue against yours. Her soft mumbles of ‘i’m sorry’s’ brush against your lips anytime you pull apart to breath. Moaning softly as she slowly works her lips down your jaw.

“Say it again?” you ask her softly as your eyes close in bliss. You feel her smirk against your neck. A low hum vibrates against your skin as she gently nibbles your skin. Her free hand works its way up your back searching for your zipper as her lips trail down your jaw to your sweet spot right behind your ear. Your grip on her back tightens as you lean your head back giving her more room. “Say what again pretty girl?” She teases as her grip in your hair tightens holding you tight as she slowly lowers your zip down your spine. Her lips not faulting as she feels your heartbeat quicken against her lips.

Groaning loudly, as you grip her hips tightly. “Please say it again?” You beg as her teeth graze your earlobe.

“I love you,” she groans in your ear as her hips rut against yours. “I love you so much, mamas,” She whines as she pulls your lips to hers. Your lips battle against each other as she slides your dress down your body as your hands grip the hem of her shirt and quickly remove it off her body.

“Are we really about to fuck in a storage room?” You question as you pull apart from her to catch your breath. A smirk works its way across her lips before her bottom lip gets tucked between her teeth. Her hands slowly slide down your body making their way to her own hips as she unbuckles her belt and button. Stepping out of her pants as she keeps her eyes on yours. A soft shrug leaves her shoulders a coy smirk on her face. Your eyes work their way down her half naked body.

“I want to make myself very clear on some things,” she starts as she takes a step closer to you. Her eyes linger on yours as she waits for you to acknowledge her. Nodding your head as she licks her lips once again.

“You most definitely aren’t some little experiment.” She states as she motions for you to lay down. Raising your eyebrows in protest before her hands grip your hips as her lips find your neck. Her teeth grazing your skin as you can’t hold back the moan that leaves your lips.

“Let me show you how much I love you. Please,” she whimpers against your skin as her fingertips tease the skin above the waistline of your panties. Nodding your head as you slowly lower yourself to the floor. She’s quick to follow as her body hovers over yours. Arms on either side of your head. Reaching up and pulling her lips back to yours. Your back arching off the cold floor as her hips sliver between yours.

Your fingers tangle themselves in her in dark locks as your heads tilt deepening the kiss. Her teeth capture your bottom lip and gently pull, causing you to lose your breath. Chest evening as your hands grasp her back pulling her down fully against you. Her moans seep into your skin as you welcome the weight of her body and her warm skin touching yours.

Her hands gripping your torso as her lips work their way down your neck to your cleavage. Making sure to leave no skin untouched as she leaves open mouth kisses everywhere. Arching into her touch as you gently rock yourself against her. Her breathing hitches as you rub up against her core just right.

“Fucking shit-” she moans as she ruts herself harder against you causing the both of you to lose it in moans. Her lips enclose around your nipple as her free hand grips your hip, getting lost in the feeling of you beneath her. Tongue flicking and teasing your sensitive bud as her lips suck you deeper in her mouth. Your hands roam her naked back as you feel the wetness pool between your thighs.

“Please,” you moan quietly as she moves over to your other breast giving it the same attention.

“Please what, pretty? Use your words for me.” She mumbles as she looks up through her lashes with a heart stopping smirk plaster across her face. “Touch me.Touch me please baby,” you whine as you grip her free hand and move it between your hips. Her fingers brush against your dripping core. Your hips buck up unintentional as she slowly rubs circles on your throbbing clit.

Her head falls onto your shoulder as she lets out a low growl as she quickly removes your underwear and slides her hand right back in between your folders. Working her fingers through your wetness as her lips make their appearance leaving her mark all across your chest. Teeth grazing every few kisses loving the way she can feel your heart stop every time she bites down making you hiss beneath her.

Her fingers teasing your sensitive bud as she slowly rotates up and down, around and around until she has you gasping for air pulling her down harder against you begging her,

“Please, please don’t stop!”

“You're close already mamas?” She snorts her hot breath hitting your skin, her fingers never faltering as she matches the pace of her hips with her fingers as she slides two in without warning. Moaning at the fact she easily slides in as her palm presses hard against your clit. Rubbing just right as her hips thrusting against her hand causing her fingers to go deeper searching for that spongy spot to cause your mind to go fuzzy and your nerves to feel like they are on fire.

The act of her fingers fucking your deeply with the force of her hips grinding against you has you spirling and melting like puddy in her hand. Your moans grow louder as you wrap your legs around her hips causing her to lose her grip beside your head fallen on top of your. Your hands make quick work to unclasp her bra and slide it down her arms. Leaning up freeing her breast you waste no time in leaning up and capturing one of her buds between your teeth biting and gently pulling. Her hips sputter against yours as her head falls against her shoulder moaning loudly from your actions.

“Shit baby, your tongue feels so fucking good.” She moans as she leans up her hips continue to thrust against you and her hand curling her fingers just right against your sweet spot. Thighs clenching together as your hips grind up against her.Taking everything and everything she has to offer you. Pulling her in deeper wishing this moment would never end. Her free hand reaches up and wipes the hair out of her eyes so she can take the sight of you in. Her tits bouncing perfectly in front of your eyes. Your lip between your teeth as your chest heaves up and down. Hair sprawled out across the floor as your body rocks perfectly against hers. Your wetness dripping down her hand and thighs. Your core getting tighter and tighter the longer she stares down at you.

“Hey you,” she whimpers above you. Your eyes working their way up from her bouncing breast to her icy blue orbs. Smirking up at her as your back arches up off the floor slightly asking for her touch. Without hesitation her hand grips your tit. Squeezing and pulling as she flexes her hand between your clenched thighs. Rubbing both your sweet spot and clit just right causing you to see stars as you unfold all over her fingers. Moaning her name over and over again as your hips grind against her faster in hopes of prolonging your high for as long as possible.

“I love you,” you moan, reaching up for her wanting her lips on yours. Falling into you her lips crash into yours as she moans against you. “Fuck, I’m never going to get tired of hearing your say that baby.” She admits as she clasps your cheek in her palm, bringing your lips back to hers. Her hand slowly removing itself from between your thighs. Her smirk grows as she watches your cum drip down between her fingers.

Her tongue doesn’t miss a beat before she's lapping your juices from off and between her fingers. Her lips sucking every last drop as her orbs darken with a jerk of her hips against yours. Moaning, gripping her hips tightly as you lean up begging for her lips. Granting your wish she captures your lips and slides her tongue in not asking for permission. Swallowing her moans as you slowly slide your hand between her thighs as she gently rocks her hips against your palm. Her breath catches as your middle finger teases her clit.

Foreheads together as her hot breath fans across your face. Her lips bunched between her teeth as her tits sway against yours. Nipples rubbing against each other causing electric shocks to fire across your skin.

Her breath ragged as you spread her wetness all around her clit looking up at her through your lashes. Biting your lip as you grip her hip with your free hand helping aid her in her motions against your fingers.

Your middle finger flirts with her as your lips find her neck. Kissing along her hot skin, leaving your mark, as your tongue soothes the love bites. Billies groans echo off the bare walls as your fingers slowly slide into her heated core. Her back arching as you thrust and twist your fingers against her walls. Her breathing gets heavy as you guide her hips to rock faster against your fingers as you whisper in her ear how badly our want her to cum. Begging her to show you how much she loves you.

Billie loses control as she clenches around your fingers. Her hips rotating against your palm as you rub her clit just right. Her lips search for yours as she crumbles on top of you. Her hips slowing down but still moving gloriously against you. “I’m cumming- shit baby right there.” She moans against your lips as her body shakes against yours. Breathing each other in as you gently rub up and down her spine. Gently placing soft kisses as you slowly thrust your fingers riding out her high. Soft whispers of ‘i love yous’ bounce against each other's lips as you try and catch your breaths.

You feel her smirk against your lips as you slowly remove your hand from between her thighs. Reaching your hand up to your lips your tongue traces between your fingers as your eyes meet hers. Moaning at her taste on your tongue her smirk matches yours as she leans down and searches for your lips. Capturing them she traces your bottom lip groaning as she tastes herself on your lips.

“I think I’m ready to go back to the room now.” She whispers against your lips. Your cheeks heat up as your eyes meet hers. Nodding your head as you aid her in sitting up you search for your dress. Reaching around to grab it but you’re stopped mid turn, confusion laces your features as you’re met with her soft orbs.

“Ask me again please?” She asks softly as her fingers trace your cheek. Her eyes flickering between your eyes and lips as she holds her breath waiting for her answer. Searching her eyes for any sign of hesitation you take a deep breath.

“Billie,” you whisper with a giggle. Her face lights up as she fights the smile working its way across her cheeks. Nodding you on waiting for you to continue.

“What do you want with me?” you ask your gaze dropping as you can’t hide the shyness that takes over. You pulse quicken as you fidget with your fingers. Not for long before Billie grips your chin tilting your head up to meet her gaze.

“I really want you to be my girlfriend, so will you please” she whispers before she brings her lips down to yours. Laying a soft peck on your swollen lips before quickly pulling away, “pretty please be my girlfriend?” She asks as you swear you could hear her heart beating against her chest. Gripping her checks and pulling her lips back to yours. Devouring her moans as you deepen the kiss.

“I really want to be your girlfriend.” You declare as you pull away with a quick peck.

“So you’re my girlfriend then?” She asks with a smirk. Needing verbal confirmation.

“Yes.” you grin. Her face lights up in pure joy as she pulls you in for one last kiss before telling you to get dressed. Wanting to head home and devour you in every way possible. Not sure what the future holds, but as the both of you start to redress yourselves you can’t help but think you both were ready to face whatever would be thrown your way as long as you had each other.

pt 1

[eunseoksimp]

Obsession ; Lee Donghyuck

Pairings: Ex Boyfriend! Donghyuck x Fem!Reader

Genre: angst, smut

Description: trapped in a web of desire and destruction, you find yourself drawn back to donghyuck—a man who thrives on your desperation, wielding your vulnerabilities like weapons for his amusement. he's cold, cruel, and intoxicating, a storm you can't resist even as it tears you apart. torn between guilt and longing, between a love that nurtures and a lust that consumes, you surrender to the chaos, knowing he’ll leave you broken but always coming back for more.

Warnings: donghyuck being your piece of shit ex that you can’t resist, infidelity and questionable morals, fingering, unprotected sex, use of swear words

a/n: it’s been such a long time since i’ve written something, but i saw the dreamies live three weeks ago and i couldn’t get haechan out of my head. also isn't a riize post oops. also trying to slowly ease back in to writing a bit more smut without cringing :)

. ݁ ˖ ࣪ . ⋆ * .♡ *:･ﾟ. ݁ ˖ ࣪ . ⋆ * .♡ *:･ﾟ. ݁ ˖ ࣪ .

“i’m starting to think you’re enjoying this a lot more than you let on,” he drawls, his voice a velvet blade, cutting through the fragile resolve you tried to muster.

what could you say? what excuse could possibly justify why you always found yourself drawn back here, like a moth courting the flame it once swore to avoid?

the door swings open, and there he stands, the glow from the hallway casting a golden halo over his sharp features—a devil in disguise. his lips curl into that infuriatingly lazy smile, a smirk that teeters on the edge of arrogance and amusement, gaze raking over you, deliberate and slow, before his fingers loop around your wrist and pull you inside.

the warmth of his touch shoots through you, a traitorous shiver trailing in its wake and he catches it, of course, his smirk widening, as you practically feel the weight of his ego swelling in the confined space.

nine months. nine months since you stormed out of this very apartment, every door slam echoing your hurt, every bitter word hanging in the air like a ghost. you had left him, shattered and raw, swearing it was the last time. yet, here you were—cruel fate, or perhaps just your own weakness, leading you back to the scene of your undoing.

“shut up, hyuck,” you murmur, keeping your gaze firmly anchored to the floor. even now, you can’t bring yourself to meet those molten eyes, the ones that always seem to see right through you.

“cute,” he muses, his tone dripping with mockery. “you think pretending to hate this will make cheating on your boyfriend any easier to justify?”

the words hit like a lash, shame igniting across your skin. but then he moves, closing the space between you with the ease of a predator circling prey. each step is deliberate, calculated, until your back hits the edge of his marble countertop, the cold surface seeping through your clothes, a stark contrast to the heat radiating from him.

his hands settle on the small of your back, the grip firm but not harsh, like he knows he doesn’t need force to reel you in. his touch drags you forward, and your breath catches as the cool metal of his rings presses against your sides, tracing small, maddening circles.

shame courses through you like a tidal wave, bitter and suffocating, but it’s no match for the inferno he stokes within you. desire, hot and all-consuming, rises to meet his touch, stealing the air from your lungs as he tilts his head, lips ghosting dangerously close to yours.

in this moment, your body betrays you completely, leaning into his pull, despite the fractured pieces of your conscience screaming in protest.

and he knows. god, he knows.

“look at me,” hyuck’s voice is a low, deliberate murmur, the kind of sound that slithers down your spine and pools in your stomach. his lips hover near the shell of your ear, the heat of his breath prickling your skin. your fingers dig into the edge of the table, the hard wood biting into your palms as you fight the tremor threatening to buckle your knees.

you don’t dare obey. you know better than to meet his gaze—those dark, magnetic eyes that have always been your undoing. one look, and you’d be lost. he’d have you exactly where he wanted, and like the fool you are, you’d let him.

instead, you shake your head in protest, squeezing your eyes shut as if that flimsy barrier could shield you from the pull of him. you don’t see it—the way his tongue darts out to wet his lips, the way that wicked grin carves its way across his face, sharp as a blade and twice as dangerous.

and then you feel it.

his hand wraps around your neck, firm and unrelenting, his grip just enough to force your eyes to fly open. a gasp tears from your lips, sharp and startled, as you’re dragged back into his orbit.

“you know I hate asking twice, angel,” he says, his voice dripping with mock sweetness, though the pressure of his hand tightens ever so slightly. your pulse throbs wildly against his palm, and you hate—hate—the way it echoes the same rhythm pounding between your thighs.

he sees it all. knows it all. and the glint in his eyes says as much.

as if to drive the point home, hyuck pulls you closer by the neck, erasing the last sliver of distance between you. his gaze doesn’t waver, locked on yours like a predator reveling in its prey’s surrender.

“but of course,” he purrs, his lips curling into a smirk that’s pure sin, “you probably like making me have to bend you to my will.”

you can’t speak. whether it’s from the pressure of his hand around your neck or the weight of his question, you’re not sure. but deep down, you know the real reason—the truth festering in the corners of your mind that you could never bring yourself to admit.

how could you say it aloud? that you relished this? that the chaos he stirred in you, the reckless abandon he ignited, was something no one else could replicate? certainly not your sweet, dependable boyfriend.

your boyfriend. the thought flickers briefly, like a distant beacon you don’t really want to follow. he was kind, attentive, always answering your texts with care, never vanishing into thin air to “enjoy the night” or leaving you second-guessing yourself.

he was everything hyuck wasn’t. and yet, here you were.

because there was something about hyuck—the way he upended your calm, the way his unpredictability set every nerve in your body alight. you knew the butterflies in your stomach weren’t some romantic thrill but a warning, your body screaming danger. yet, you ran toward it anyway, like a ship steering straight into the storm.

you’d leave your boyfriend’s place with flimsy excuses—work, errands, anything to mask the truth—and find yourself here, wrapped in donghyuck’s intoxicating pull.

donghyuck, with his honey-brown skin that seemed to glow in the dimmest light. donghyuck, with his dark hair falling just so, framing those piercing eyes that stripped you bare, laying your soul out for him to toy with. no one else had ever reached you like this—peeling back layers you didn’t even know existed, exposing raw emotions you didn’t know how to hide.

and he knew it. of course he did. that’s why he’d send you pictures of other girls he was hooking up with—deliberate, cruel, knowing exactly what it would do to you. he fed on your reactions, thrived on them, wielding them like a blade. and like the masochist you were, you let him. you always let him.

“enlighten me,” he taunts now, his lips curling into that smug, wolfish grin. “why is it you keep showing up at my door, hmm?”

“i thought you told me you found everything you deserved in him.”

his voice is low, teasing, but there’s an edge to it, sharp enough to cut. he knows the answer, of course. he always does. but he wants to hear it fall from your lips, to drag the truth from you as if it’ll make his triumph all the sweeter.

“words, angel. i need you to use them,” he coos, his mockery wrapped in honey. his lips purse into a feigned pout, as though this were some mundane conversation, as though his fingers weren’t still wrapped firmly around your neck, holding you in place.

“i-i…” the words stumble from your mouth, fractured and useless. the dizziness comes next—a hazy swirl from the weight of his grip, but worse, the heat that floods your body as his lips descend.

they graze your neck, soft yet deliberate, each kiss a spark igniting a trail of fire beneath your skin. goosebumps erupt in his wake, your body betraying you yet again. you head tilts of its own accord, baring your throat to him as if in surrender.

and hyuck? he chuckles softly against your skin, low and smug, like he knows exactly what he’s doing to you.

“so eager for me. i wonder,” hyuck murmurs, his voice a silken blade that slices through the last of your composure, “if you’re this pliant for sungchan.”

the name lands like a blow, a reminder of the person you’ve betrayed in your spiral back to hyuck’s clutches. your breath hitches, eyes squeezing shut as the sting of guilt prickles behind them.

you bite down hard on your lip, desperate to stifle the sob building in your throat. what kind of person does this? what kind of girlfriend are you, when your body—traitorous and weak—only seems to come alive for him?

a single tear escapes, tracing a slow, shameful path down your cheek. hyuck’s low chuckle follows, dark and knowing. the click of his tongue reverberates through you, his enjoyment as palpable as the air that thrums with tension.

he releases your neck, his hands sliding up to cradle your face instead, his thumb swiping away the tear with a tenderness so contradictory it makes your chest ache.

“don’t cry, silly girl,” he croons, his tone both mocking and saccharine. “i already know the answer to that question.”

you try to look away, but his grip keeps you steady, his gaze locking onto yours with the kind of intensity that burns.

“of course you don’t,” he continues, his lips curving into a smirk that doesn’t reach his eyes. “nobody knows how to make you feel this way but me. that’s why you keep coming back.” he leans in closer, his words brushing your skin like an intimate caress.

“isn’t that right, sweetheart?”

your resistance crumbles under the weight of his words. against your better judgment, your eyes meet his, truly meet them, for the first time tonight. you take him in, every detail. the dark flecks in his irises, the scattered moles you once traced with your fingertips, the way his hair falls a little longer now, grazing his lashes.

your heart slams against your ribs, a violent rhythm that feels too loud, too desperate. you swallow hard, unable to tear your gaze away as your eyes trail down, drinking him in like you’re parched and he’s the only thing that could ever quench you.

god, he hasn’t changed. not a bit. he still burns with that same maddening allure, that magnetic pull that sets your world ablaze. the fire he ignites in your stomach roars to life, an uncontrollable inferno that only he seems capable of sparking.

and that’s the most terrifying part of all.

you’ve tried to move on, tried to fill the void he left behind with someone kind, someone stable. but it was all in vain. every attempt to leave him behind had been futile. every lie you told yourself unraveled the moment you stepped back into his orbit.

because no matter how much you pretended, no matter how much you wanted to believe otherwise, some part of you—the most vulnerable, broken part—would always belong to him.

the silence between you is unbearable, charged with the kind of tension that tightens around your chest like a vice. his thumb lingers on your cheek, dragging slow circles as if savoring the tear he just wiped away. his gaze, dark and piercing, drinks in every crack in your composure, but there’s no softness in his eyes—only cold amusement.

“you’ve always been so predictable,” hyuck says, his voice as smooth and sharp as a blade. “throwing yourself at the things you know will ruin you. it’s almost pathetic, angel.”

your breath hitches, and his smirk deepens, smug and unrelenting as his hand drops to your throat again, holding you in place. his grip isn’t tight—yet—but the promise of his strength makes your knees tremble. you wish you could deny the power he has over you, but the truth is in the way your body responds to every word, every touch.

“maybe,” you manage to whisper, though your voice wavers under his scrutiny. “maybe i like the way it feels to fall.”

he lets out a low laugh, humorless and biting. “oh, i know you do. that’s why you’re here. why you always come crawling back.”

his hand slides down to your collarbone, then lower, the heat of his touch searing through your clothes. his eyes rake over you, slow and deliberate, like you’re nothing more than something to be dissected, picked apart piece by piece.

“you’re just so easy to break,” he continues, his lips curling into a smirk that doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “always so eager to let me destroy you.”

your fingers twist into his shirt, your grip trembling as you try to ground yourself, but it only seems to fuel his cruel amusement. his free hand wraps around your wrist, pulling it free with a force that feels more like a warning than a rejection.

“look at you,” he says, tilting his head as if observing something trivial. “you don’t even try to hide how much you like this, do you?”

the sting of his words slices through you, but shame only tightens the knot of desire in your stomach. he knows it—sees it in the way your lips part, the way your chest rises and falls as you fight for composure, how you’re struggling to clench your thighs together.

“say it,” he demands, his grip tightening on your wrist as he yanks you closer, his voice a low growl in your ear. “admit it. admit that no one else can make you feel like this.”

you want to fight, to cling to some shred of dignity, but it’s useless. he’s already unraveled you, stripped you bare, and he knows it.

“i hate you,” you whisper, but even to your own ears, it sounds like a plea.

he barks out a laugh, sharp and mocking. “liar,” he spits, before his lips crash into yours.

the kiss is rough, bruising, a clear reminder of how little control you have. his hands are relentless, sliding over your body like he’s claiming you, like every inch of you belongs to him alone. and in this moment, it does.

the counter digs into your back as he presses you harder against it, his grip firm and unyielding. your fingers claw at his shoulders, desperate to find something to hold onto, but he doesn’t care. you’re nothing more than a toy in his hands, a distraction to pass the time.

when he finally pulls back, his eyes are cold, calculating as they search your face. he doesn’t need to say anything to remind you of your place—you see it in the smug curve of his lips, the way his gaze lingers like he’s already grown bored.

“see? that wasn’t so hard,” he murmurs, his voice dripping with condescension as his thumb brushes your bottom lip.

“you always give in eventually. it’s almost too easy.”

your chest heaves as you try to steady your breathing, your head spinning from the intensity of him.

to him, you’re nothing more than a game. a way to stroke his ego, to remind himself of the control he wields. and yet, despite knowing that, you still find yourself reaching for him, your fingers grazing his arm as if you can’t bear to let go.

hyuck chuckles, low and derisive, before shaking his head. “pathetic,” he says, the word cutting deep, but you don’t flinch.

because he’s right. And you hate how much you like it.

“hyuck—” your voice cracks, trailing off as your fingers clutch at the hem of his tank top again. the fabric is soft but stretched taut in your grip, an anchor in the storm of your own undoing. you tug him closer, your hands trembling, though whether it’s from desperation or shame, you can’t be sure.

“what?” he drawls lazily, his voice dripping with mockery. “what do you need from me, princess?”

the nickname isn’t affectionate. it’s laced with condescension, a sharp reminder of how thoroughly he has you wrapped around his finger. you can feel the weight of his gaze, studying you like a specimen caught under glass, a plaything meant only to amuse him.

and you hate yourself for the way it thrills you.

hyuck tilts his head slightly, feigning ignorance, though the smirk tugging at his lips betrays him. he knows why you’re here—of course he does. this is his game, after all. you’re just the piece he maneuvers however he pleases.

“come on,” he presses, his voice smooth and teasing, like a predator drawing out its prey. “you’ve got something to say, don’t you?”

your breath hitches, your chest rising and falling as you try to force words past the lump in your throat. but all you can manage is a shaky, “hyuck, please.”

his smirk widens, and the way his eyes gleam—dark, triumphant—makes your stomach churn with both desire and self-loathing. “please,” he echoes, as though the word tastes foreign on his tongue. “you’re so weak. you can’t even say what you want, can you?”

the sting of his words leaves you breathless, but it only tightens the knot of longing in your chest, and most importantly between your thighs. you’ve walked willingly into this trap, after all.

this is what he does—feeds on your vulnerability, siphons every ounce of emotion you have to give, leaving you hollow and craving more.

he closes the sliver of space between you, his shadow swallowing you whole. his eyebrow arches, the picture of bored indifference.

“you’re an adult,” he snaps, his tone sharp enough to cut. “start acting like one. if you want something, you better speak.“

your grip on his shirt tightens as you stare up at him, trembling under the weight of his presence. the cruel set of his jaw, the way he looks at you like you’re nothing more than a toy he hasn’t finished playing with—it shouldn’t excite you the way it does. but it does. god, it does.

you take another deep breath, trying to piece together a coherent thought, but your mind is a blur, your words caught somewhere between your heart and the tightening ache in your stomach. he’s watching you unravel, his gaze cold and calculating, like he’s already grown bored of this moment and is waiting for you to catch up.

“hyuck,” you whisper again, though it’s more of a whimper now, your voice trembling as you meet his eyes.

he chuckles, low and derisive, the sound reverberating through you like a pulse. “that’s it?” he taunts, his hand shooting out to grasp your wrist. his fingers curl around it firmly, not enough to hurt, but enough to remind you that you’re his for the taking.

“all that begging and you can’t even tell me what you want? what a waste of my time.”

his hand moves, gliding from your wrist to the base of your throat, his thumb resting just below your jaw. he tilts your chin up, forcing your gaze back to his, his smirk cruel and unwavering.

“let me guess,” he says, his tone mocking as his eyes trace over your face.

“you want me to ruin you, don’t you?” his voice slithers through the air, coiling around you like a noose.

your breath caught in your throat, chest rising and falling in uneven gasps as his eyes bore into you—dark, sharp, dissecting every inch of your trembling frame. the room felt impossibly small, the air heavy with the weight of his presence, thick and suffocating, like you were drowning in him.

“you want me to take every last shred of dignity you have,” he murmured, his breath hot against your skin, “and destroy it.”

the words hung in the air, a challenge, a promise, a sentence. you felt the floor beneath you disappear, the groundlessness of your own desire swallowing you whole. the ache inside you was unbearable, raw and clawing, a hunger that could only be sated by him.

he tilted his head, watching the way you trembled, the way your lips parted without sound, as if your body couldn’t keep up with the hurricane of emotion ripping through you. his smirk deepened, cruel and predatory, as though he were feeding off the desperation radiating from you, drinking it in like nectar.

“do you see yourself?” he sneered, dragging the back of his knuckles down the curve of your jaw, slow and deliberate, as if savoring the way you leaned into his touch despite his words. “allit takes is a few words, and you’re already falling apart for me.”

your voice faltered, your throat tightening as shame and longing tangled into one insidious knot. he knew exactly what he was doing, dangling you on a string like some pitiful marionette, pulling at your every weakness with precision, unraveling you with his callous control.

you craved the way he broke you down, stripped you of everything you thought you were until all that remained was your raw, unfiltered need for him. it was dangerous, maddening, addictive. the fire in his eyes burned too brightly, and yet you leaned closer, knowing it would consume you.

“say it,” he pressed, his hand cupping your chin now, forcing your gaze upward to meet his. his grip was firm, unyielding, and the dominance in his stare made you feel as though he could see every fragile piece of you, exposed and laid bare.

“say you want me to ruin you.”

You swallowed hard, shuddering, your chest heaving as you try to steady yourself, but it’s no use. you’re already undone, every wall you’ve built crumbled to dust at his feet.

“i—” you start, but the words die on your tongue as his grip tightens slightly, just enough to make you gasp.

“speak, princess,” he sneers, his smirk widening. “if you can’t even do that, stop wasting what little patience i have left for you.”

the cruel dominance in his tone makes your head spin, your body betraying you as heat blooms in your core. you hate him. you hate how easily he breaks you, how effortlessly he pulls you apart. but more than that, you hate how much you need this. need him.

“i want- i want you to ruin me. love it,” you finally manage to choke out, your voice barely audible. tears prick at your eyes, but you don’t care. he’s already seen every ugly, vulnerable part of you. there’s nothing left to hide. “i love the way you ruin me.”

hyuck’s smirk sharpens, his satisfaction rolling off him in waves. “good girl,” he murmurs, his thumb brushing over your lips. “you’re learning.”

he tilts his head, his smirk curving into something sharp and predatory. His fingers trail down your jaw, the cool press of his rings sending shivers through you.

his touch is light, teasing, but there’s nothing tender about it. every motion feels calculated, designed to make you unravel just a little bit more.

“you’ll say anything I want, won’t you?” he murmurs, his voice low and condescending. “you’d do anything just to keep me interested. it’s disgusting.”

“you hate yourself for it, don’t you?” he continues, leaning in until his lips are just a breath away from your ear. “hate the way you keep coming back. like a moth to a flame. like you don’t know you’re going to get burned.”

you can’t answer, can’t even look at him. your head dips, but he catches your chin between his thumb and forefinger, forcing your gaze back to his. his eyes are dark, devoid of warmth, but the power they hold over you is suffocating.

“you think you’re special?” he asks, his tone almost amused. “that i actually care about you? that i lose a single second of sleep wondering if you’ll come back?”

“i know what you are,” he says, his voice soft but laced with venom. “you’re nothing without me. just a sad little thing, begging for scraps of attention.

“is that why you keep coming back, hmm? because no one else would put up with how pathetic you are?”

you flinch, the tears threatening to spill again, but his smirk only deepens, pleased with how easily he can manipulate your emotions. his thumb brushes over your bottom lip, tracing it slowly, almost mockingly.

“cry all you want,” he murmurs, leaning in just enough for his breath to ghost across your face. “it won’t change anything. you’ll still be here, won’t you? letting me do whatever i want. because you can’t help yourself.”

“hyuck,” you whisper, the sound of his name barely audible. your voice shakes, and you hate how desperate you sound, but the way his eyes glint with satisfaction tells you he loves it.

“what is it, angel?” he mocks, tilting his head as if he’s genuinely curious. “tell me what you want. use your words like a big girl.”

you bite down on your lip, struggling to force the words out. Your mind is a mess, every coherent thought drowned out by the sheer presence of him—overwhelming, suffocating, intoxicating.

“say it,” he demands again, his tone hardening as his hand drops to your throat, the pressure just enough to make you gasp.

“i want you,” you finally choke out, your voice breaking. “i want—”

he cuts you off with a laugh, sharp and cruel, as if the mere idea of you wanting him is a joke. “of course you do,” he says, his grip tightening slightly.

“you always want me. no matter how many times i push you away, no matter how many times I remind you that you’re nothing to me, you come crawling back. like a good little toy.”

you squeeze your eyes shut.

“open your eyes,” he commands, his tone cold and unwavering.

you hesitate, but his hand tightens around your throat, and your eyes snap open instantly. His face is so close now that you can see every detail—the sharp lines of his jaw, the faint shadow of stubble, the glint of malice in his eyes.

“good girl,” he says, the words dripping with mockery as his thumb brushes over your pulse. “you’re so easy to control. so desperate to be wanted, you’ll let me do whatever i want, won’t you?”

you nod, your breath hitching, and his smirk widens.

his other hand trails down your side, his touch firm and possessive. the room feels hotter now, the air thick with tension as he presses his body against yours, pinning you against the counter. his gaze never wavers, holding you captive as he takes in every crack in your resolve.

“you don’t even care that this is going to destroy you,” he murmurs, almost to himself, his smirk curling into something sharper, more dangerous. “you just want to feel something, don’t you? even if it ruins you.”

he’s right. you can’t deny it, can’t fight the truth in his words. no one else makes you feel this way—alive, raw, completely undone.

“my room. now.” his voice cuts through the charged air, sharp and commanding, leaving no room for hesitation.

he doesn’t bother sparing you another glance, already turning on his heel as if your compliance is a foregone conclusion. of course, it is.

you scramble to follow, nearly tripping over yourself in your rush to keep up with his lazy, unhurried strides. the disparity in your urgency and his indifference couldn’t be more stark, and it only serves to amplify the tight coil of tension in your chest.

there’s no warmth in the way he looks back at you—if he even bothers to look at all. he doesn’t need to. he knows you’ll follow, knows you’ll stumble through fire and glass just to stay close enough to bask in his shadow.

it’s dehumanising, and yet you can’t stop. you don’t want to stop.

your breath comes shallow and quick, anticipation crackling in the air around you like a live wire. the hallway feels endless, every heavy footfall echoing in the suffocating silence. it’s all-consuming, this quiet, and it does nothing to mask the way your heart hammers against your ribs or the way your palms tremble.

hyuck barely spares a thought for your clumsy attempts to keep pace, his hands shoved casually into the pockets of his sweatpants. if anything, he seems amused by how desperate you are to match his rhythm, your starry-eyed eagerness practically oozing from your every movement.

“you’re really just a pitiful thing, aren’t you,” he mutters under his breath, the words low and dismissive, but it hits you like a freight train nonetheless.

when he finally reaches the doorway to his room, he doesn’t pause. he pushes the door open with a careless shove, the motion so casual it’s as if he hasn’t already consumed every one of your thoughts, hasn’t already rendered you into this trembling, obedient shell of yourself.

he strides inside without looking back, leaving you lingering at the threshold for a heartbeat too long. the hesitation doesn’t go unnoticed.

“are you just going to stand there?” his voice is sharp, laced with irritation, as he glances back over his shoulder. The way his lips curl into a faint smirk is a silent dare. “or do you need me to drag you in, too?”

the air feels thinner now, harder to breathe, as you finally step inside. the door clicks shut behind you with an unnervingly loud finality.

“look at you,” he says, turning to face you fully now. His eyes rake over you, slow and deliberate, and it feels less like admiration and more like dissection. like he’s picking you apart piece by piece, savoring every crack in your composure.

“you can barely stand still,” he taunts, his tone thick with mockery.

“what’s got you so worked up, hmm? is it the way i talk to you? the way i remind you just how insignificant you are to me?”

your throat feels tight, your pulse hammering in your ears. but even now, even when he’s baring his cruelty so plainly, you can’t bring yourself to turn away.

hyuck takes a single step forward, the distance between you shrinking until there’s barely a breath of space left. his hand finds your chin again, his grip firm as he tilts your face up to meet his gaze.

“do you even realize how pitiful you look right now?” he murmurs, his smirk twisting into something sharper. “standing here, waiting for me to throw you a bone. it’s almost sad.”

almost. the word lingers, cruel and deliberate, reminding you that whatever scrap of validation he might offer will always come with a price.

but it doesn’t matter, not when his thumb brushes over your lip again, not when his presence feels so overwhelming that you can’t think straight. the shame, the desperation, the sheer exhilaration—it all blends together, until you can’t tell where one ends and the other begins.

his gaze darkens, his smirk never wavering as he leans in just enough for his breath to ghost over your lips.

“you love being treated like this. like a toy I can pick up and toss aside whenever i feel like it.”

“of course you do,” he says, answering his own question with a laugh that sends a shiver down your spine. “you wouldn’t keep coming back if you didn’t.”

he pulls back slightly, just enough to give you a moment to catch your breath, but the space he leaves feels suffocating in its own way. his hand doesn’t leave your chin, his thumb still resting against your skin as he watches you with a cruel sort of satisfaction.

“go on, then,” he says, his tone light but laced with command. “tell me how much you need me. how much you hate yourself for it.”

and you know he’s enjoying every second of this—the power, the control, the way you’re crumbling under his touch. because for all his apathy, for all his cold detachment, there’s nothing he loves more than watching you fall apart for him.

“i need you,” you whisper, voice trembling as your fingers clutch at his shirt. “please. i want you so badly—please, hyuck.”

the words tumble out of you like a confession, raw and unfiltered, and for a fleeting second, the weight of your own desperation threatens to crush you. but then his laughter cuts through the silence, low and mocking, and it draws your focus back to him.

he leans against the edge of his desk, arms crossed, the corner of his mouth quirking into a smirk as he takes you in. your tear-streaked cheeks, the way your chest heaves with shallow breaths, and that reverence in your eyes—it’s intoxicating. you look at him like he’s something divine, something worthy of worship, and he drinks it in like it’s his lifeblood.

“you’re a fucking mess,” he says finally, his voice laced with amusement. “crying, begging—do you know how stupid you look?”

his words are cruel, but his tone is almost light, as if this is all just a game to him. and maybe it is. you can’t be sure anymore, not when he tilts his head to the side and his dark eyes glint with unspoken intent.

“you really can’t help yourself, can you?” he muses, reaching out to swipe a thumb across the wet trail of a tear, his touch deliberate but devoid of any real tenderness.

“such a wretched little thing.”

his hand doesn’t linger, pulling back as quickly as it came, and the absence of his touch feels like a punishment in itself. you shift, uncertain, waiting for him to say something more, to give you some sign of what he’ll do next.

“you’re my stupid girl,” he says, his tone almost conversational, like he’s stating a simple fact. “aren’t you?”

his grip on your chin tightens, just enough to demand your response, and you nod weakly, your voice barely above a whisper.

“yes.”

his grin is wicked, devoid of anything remotely kind, and he lets go of your chin, stepping back just enough to make you feel the loss. he watches as you sway slightly, unmoored without his touch, and the satisfaction in his expression is unmistakable.

“good. on your back for me, pretty.”

the command, simple and sharp, slices through the tension thickening the room, and relief rushes through you like a flood. you obey instantly, scrambling toward the bed with a clumsy urgency that only feeds his amusement. propping yourself up on your elbows, you inch backward until your shoulders press into the edge of his bedframe, waiting for his next instruction.

hyuck takes his time, leisurely closing the space between you as his dark eyes sweep over your body. his tongue darts out, wetting his lips, and his gaze lingers shamelessly on the curve of your thighs, the hem of your skirt pushed just a little too high, the knee-high socks hugging your legs like they were made to tempt him.

“you’re such a sight,” he says, more to himself than to you, his voice low and edged with a cruel sort of amusement. “and all mine to play with.”

heat blooms across your skin under his scrutiny, but you stay perfectly still, holding your breath as though any sudden movement might break the fragile thread of attention binding you to him.

“you’re going to be a good girl for me, aren’t you?” he steps closer, towering over you now, his shadow stretching across your trembling form. the corner of his mouth tilts into a smirk that doesn’t reach his eyes.

“take everything i give you without complaint, right?”

you nod frantically, lips parting to form a shaky affirmation, but he clicks his tongue in disapproval.

“words,” he reminds you coldly, his tone clipped. “you know i hate repeating myself angel.”

“yes, hyuck,” you blurt, voice barely above a whisper. “i’ll be good. i’ll take it all.”

satisfaction flickers across his face for a fleeting moment before he leans down, pressing his palms into the mattress on either side of your head. his proximity sends a shiver rippling through you, his scent—clean, sharp, and intoxicating—wrapping around you like a noose.

“no tapping out until i say i’m done.”

the warning in his voice is as sharp as the glint in his eyes, and the way he says it leaves no room for negotiation.

it’s not a question, it’s a sentence, handed down by the man who holds all the power in the room, and you know better than to argue.

“yes,” you whisper, though your voice trembles. “yes, hyuck.”

hyuck doesn’t rush. he takes his time watching you squirm, his fingers tugging at the edge of your skirt as he basks in the control he wields so effortlessly. the corner of his mouth twitches, his smirk deepening as his eyes lock on yours.

his hand reaches out, brushing against the side of your face, his touch deceptively soft as he tilts your chin up.

they trail lower, down further until he stops at your thigh, tapping it once, then twice, watching your face for any reactions.

you try your hardest to stay still, taking heed of his earlier words, knowing that any time you showed your impatience or tried to take the lead would only make things worse.

leaning down, he places a soft kiss on your stomach, before placing several more down the expense of your thighs. it’s torture, having him so close to where you wanted him to be, yet still too far.

“you’re getting better at being patient for me, aren’t you angel?”

you nod, sucking in a harsh gasp as he uses his middle finger to pull at the hem of your panties, as he slowly slid them down till they stopped mid thigh.

stupidly, your cheeks heat up as you feel embarrassed as the way hyuck’s gaze rakes over your bare skin, hungry even, as he positions himself between you, your legs encompassing his broader frame.

without warning he plunged a finger inside of you, not caring to take off his rings because he knew you liked it like that, the edge of the metals soothing your burning cunt.

you cried out his name, fingers clutching the sheets as a way to anchor yourself against donghyuck’s viscous attacks. the spontaneous addition of his tongue only intensified your pleasure, and he worked hard to make sure your body stayed planted on his mattress.

the truth was, sungchan was too soft when it came to having sex with you. he was always too concerned with not hurting you, taking things excruciatingly slow as he constantly checked up on you, asking if you were okay, pressing soft kisses all over your body.

he was the complete opposite to hyuck who so violently used your body like it was nothing more than a ragdoll to him, bending and moulding you to his liking, throwing you around and treating you like nothing.

even now, you shudder as he adds another finger licking and sucking on your cunt as if starved, making your toes curl and your fingers card through his hair.

it’s embarrassing how fast you feel yourself approach the edge, the tell tale sales making themself more apparent as you moan pathetically, your senses on overdrive.

“you wanna cum?”

“please —fuck— please please please. i’ve —shit — been such a good, such a good girl.”

“good girls don’t fuck their exes while their boyfriends wait at home. you’re not a good girl, you’re a cock drunk whore,” you clench around his fingers at his harsh words, another pathetic moan escaping your lips.

“yours—shit— your whore.”

the grin that breaks out in hyuck’s face is so wide yet so delicious as he adds a third finger, your whines only spurring him on as he uses his thumb to trace circles on your clit.

one particular thrust has your head thrown back against the pillows, your hands instinctively reaching out to his wrist, the pleasure becoming unbearable.

“that’s the spot, isn’t it baby?”

“oh hyuck– fuck it feels so so good.”

you’re incoherent, the only thing on your mind is chasing the delicious orgasm burning in your lower stomach. thoughts of sungchan have been pushed so far back in your mind, your own selfish release tainting you.

“yes– yes– yes,” you’re chanting, your words slurring as you buck your hips to the pace of hyuck’s feelings that piston in and out of your dripping core, legs already shaking uncontrollably until you scream out his name, gushing all over his fingers as your thighs trap his hand.

“look at all this mess you made slut,” he doesn’t seem to care much about your sensitivity of having just orgasmed, collecting your juices with his fingers, spreading them all around your lower body, as if he were painting on a canvas.

“i’m not even close to being done with you,” he tells you once he’s done, tugging his shirt off with one hand, hastily reaching for the drawstring of his sweatpants as he discards of them somewhere near the foot of his bed.

It had only been two weeks since hyuck had last been inside you, but staring at the heavy bulge protruding through his boxers, you knew the stretch would burn all the same.

as he grabs a hold of your ankles in his hands, you can’t help the eagerness spread so obviously on your feautures- biting down on your lip as you look up at him through your eyelashes.

like a habit your hands hold onto his thighs, your eyes trained on his cock as he holds the base of it, so dangerously close to your welcoming, wet pussy.

as much as he ridiculed you—mocked you for being the desperate little thing you were, so consumed by lust and your filthy cravings that you discarded every shred of dignity—there was a flicker of something untamed beneath his carefully crafted exterior.

hyuck prided himself on being detached, the puppet master pulling your strings for his amusement, but even he couldn’t entirely deny the rush that coursed through him as he looked down at you now. the sight of you, flushed and trembling, your ruin written all over your tear-streaked face, did something to him. something primal.

you were his creation. his masterpiece. every tremor in your limbs, every shaky breath, every ounce of humiliation and need—you wore it like a brand, and he was the one who burned it into you.

and that knowledge? it fed something dark inside him, a satisfaction so raw it was almost animalistic.

be tilted his head, the smirk on his lips widening as his eyes roamed over you again, slow and deliberate, like he was savoring every second.

“look at you,” he drawled, voice dripping with derision. “you don’t even know how filthy you look right now, do you?”

your lips parted to respond, but no sound came out, just a shaky exhale that betrayed every effort to keep yourself composed.

he chuckled, low and cold, the sound curling around you like a chain and you feel a shudder wracking through you at his words.

“that’s right,” he murmured, his voice dipping lower, his smirk twisting into something cruel. “you’re mine. no grace, no dignity, no self-respect—just a pretty little mess for me to destroy over and over again.”

“you ready for me princess?”

you nod, heart leaping out of your chest in anticipation, throbbing as the tip taps on your clit twice.

as he pushes in you can’t help but screw your eyes close, the feeling euphoric as he sinks in. your legs automatically come around his waist and his hands reach up to cup your breast, squeezing them between his palms, his thumb rubbing over your sensitive bud.

but he knows how you really like it, and so both hands dance up your body till they stop at your neck. he squeezes, hard enough at first to knock the wind out of you, delighting in the way your moans now come out in breathless squeals as he drives himself impossibly deeper into you.

He reached out, fingers grazing your jawline before gripping your chin, forcing your head up until you had no choice but to meet his gaze. His touch was firm but cold, an unyielding reminder of who held all the power here.

“i could tell you to walk out that door right now,” he said, his thumb brushing over your trembling bottom lip, “and we both know you wouldn’t make it five steps. you’d be back before you even reached the elevator.”

you whimpered, the sound pitiful, but it only made his grin widen, his amusement at your weakness as sharp as a blade, revelling in the way you were falling undone on his cock.

“say it,” he demanded, voice low and commanding. “tell me why you’re here. why you keep sneaking off from your boyfriend.”

“b-because i— fuck” you stammered, your words catching in your throat as tears pricked at your eyes again, feeling him so deep inside of you that you were sure he would leave a mark, the tip kissing your cervix so deliciously.

“because you need me,” he finished for you, his tone dripping with mockery. “say it, angel. i want to hear you admit it.”

your breath hitched, shame warring with the unbearable heat pooling in your stomach and the way he lifts your legs and lazily throws them over your shoulders.

“i- i need, i need you,” you whispered, the words so soft they barely reached your own ears, any morsel of strength dissipating.

“of course you do,” he murmured, the satisfaction in his voice undeniable. “you need me to tell you what to do. yo remind you what you are.”

“he leaned in, his breath hot against your ear as his hand slid lower, skimming the edge of your waist as his nails dug into the plump flesh, eliciting a hiss from your lips at the cocktail of pleasure and pain.

“a toy,” he continued, his voice a velvet whip. “something for me to use when i’m bored. isn’t that right?”

you swallowed hard, tears slipping down your cheeks as the last vestiges of your pride crumbled beneath his words.

“yes,” you choked out, your voice raw and broken.

“i’m your stupid toy. stupid slut, stupid toy,” your words are garbled, hardly making sense as he kisses up your neck, feeling dizzy as his hair tickled your skin, the sweet smell of his cologne mixed with sweat invading your senses.

he pulled back just enough to look at you again, his eyes gleaming with cruel satisfaction.

“sweet angel,” he said, the praise cutting as it was rewarding. his thumb swiped at a stray tear, his smirk softening into something even more chilling.

“now let’s see if you’re as obedient as you claim to be.”

the night stretched painfully as hyuck pulled orgasm after orgasm out of you, cruelly making you keep score, and rewarding you with a harsh slap to the cheek if you were wrong.

you were writhing in his hold, your hands feebly pushing against his pelvis as you reached the climax yet again, swallowing shallowly as you will yourself to manually breathe.

“good slut, there you go. how many was that?” he makes no effort to stop to help you catch your breath and your eyes gloss over, and your mouth lolls open, the feeling of being filled so well too much for your brain to handle.

a stinging pain accompanies your right cheek as punishment for not answering hyuck’s previous question and he flips you over on your stomach, plunging into you without warning.

“dumb sluts so fucked out she can’t even use her fucking mouth,” he enunciates every word with each thrust, your thighs quivering as you bury your head into the sheets.

you had no more intelligible answers to any of hyuck’s words, brain turned to mush as the sound of skin slapping together becomes overbearing.

“too – fuck – too much – can’t– fuck please hyuck,” you whine, tears spilling from your eyes as you try to find strength to speak.

“what was that? you want more’” he’s cruel in the way he lifts you up by your neck till your body is plush against his own, the new angle only making your eyes roll back even further.

“i don’t give a fuck about how you feel. i’ll be finished when i decide i’m done with you, so be a good cum slut and take it all.”

he presses a kiss to your temple before releasing his hold on you, fucking you further into the mattress, your whole body quivering as your face screws tight.

it feels like you could snap at any moment, your body so frail and limp, as the only thing that keeps you from collapsing in a heap on hyuck’s bed is the firm grip he has on your hips.

“fuck.. pussy’s sucking me in so deep, it’s practically made for me,” he groans, the restraint he had been practicing for the last half hour withering, his face screwing at the feeling of your walls hugging his cock unbearably tight, like it didn’t want to let go.

he wanted to push you even further, to keep going until you teetered on the edge of life and death, but he knew he couldn’t last much longer.

he lifts one of your legs up, jackhammering into you with as much force as he could gather, using his strength to keep you in place as he continued to fuck into you.

“fucking take it, useless slut. that’s all you’re good for,” his chest rises and falls, dick twitching at the sight of your head cocked to the side, eyes glimmering from all of your tears as you try to push him away, your body seizing.

“move that fucking hand and take it,” he swats your hand away with ease, deepening your arch as you let out a sharp gasp before your body is convulsing again, your fourth orgasm of the night washing over you with such intensity that hyuck had to hold you up by the waist to stop you from collapsing.

it was hard to keep you in one place as he fucked you through your orgasm, but he’s bigger and stronger than you as he tightens his grip on your body, racing towards his own release.

“gonna fill your pussy till it’s dripping down your thighs. hope that – shit – hope your fucking boyfriend finds out how much of a whore you are.”

his thrusts get choppier as he loses himself to the feral urge to fill you up, to paint your insides pearly white and let the world know who had the ability to ruin you like this.

“yes please – need it – need it please – need it so bad,” a heavy groan rips through donghyuck at your words, thrusting into you a couple more times, pushing himself impossibly deeper inside of you as he pours hot spurts of cum inside of you, overstimulating himself so that it reaches deep before he lets go of you as you fall into a heap on his sheets.

the room felt oppressively quiet now, save for the sound of donghyuck’s soft footsteps as he moved away from the bed. he didn’t look at you, didn’t speak. his attention was already somewhere else, his movements casual, indifferent, like nothing had just happened.

you lay there, sprawled across his sheets, the aftermath of it all still clinging to your skin. your chest heaved as you tried to steady your breathing, but the hollowness in the pit of your stomach made it impossible to feel grounded.

you turned your head, watching as he crossed the room without a backward glance, already flipping the power button on his game console, simply throwing a towel in your direction with an infuriating amount of carelessness.

the screen illuminated the corner of the dark room, and you could hear the familiar chime of the startup music as he slid onto the chair, controller in hand, as though this was just another ordinary evening for him.

for you, though, the silence pressed down harder. the ache in your chest began to mingle with something sharper, something you were too scared to name.

your phone buzzed from the nightstand beside you, pulling you out of your haze. the sound felt jarring in the stillness. turning your head, you reached for it with trembling fingers, watching the screen light up, and the name at the top of the message.

sungchan.

i miss you. let me know when you’re home safe, okay?

the words reverberated in your chest, soft and full of kindness, the exact opposite of everything donghyuck was.

sungchan was stable, predictable, safe—the type of person who held doors open and kissed you goodnight like it was second nature. but here you were, sprawled out in another man’s bed, the ghost of his hands still lingering on your skin.

you turned your head toward donghyuck, searching for something in him. something human. something that might tether you to the idea that this meant more than it did. but there was nothing—not even a flicker of acknowledgment as he barked a low curse at his game, his focus unwavering.

and yet, despite his cruelty, despite the hollowness he left in his wake, you felt yourself drawn to him like a moth to a flame. it wasn’t love, and it wasn’t even lust—it was the gravitational pull of your own self-destruction.

the bed creaked as you sat up, the cool air biting against your bare skin. your phone buzzed again, its screen lighting up the darkened room. sungchan’s name flashed across it once more, and the guilt twisted like a knife in your chest.

this was wrong.

you knew it was wrong.

but as much as you wanted to gather your things, to walk out of this apartment and leave donghyuck behind for good, you knew you wouldn’t.

“you’re thinking too loud,” donghyuck muttered, his voice cold and detached as his fingers moved deftly over the controller. he didn’t even look at you.

“i should go,” you whispered, more to yourself than to him.

this time, he glanced over his shoulder, raising a brow in mock amusement. “then go,” he said simply, his tone devoid of care, as if your presence—or absence—meant nothing to him.

your throat tightened, tears threatening to spill again. you gripped the edge of the sheets, your knuckles white, your mind warring with itself. every rational part of you screamed to leave, to call sungchan, to beg for forgiveness.

but the irrational part of you—the part that craved donghyuck’s indifference, his cruelty, the way he stripped you down to your rawest form—kept you rooted in place. because for all the emptiness he left behind, donghyuck made you feel something.

the shame, the desire, the heartbreak—it was all consuming, chaotic, alive. and as much as it hurt, it was better than the numbness you felt everywhere else.

your phone buzzed again, the sound cutting through the air like a razor. sungchan was waiting. he always was. and yet, you turned your gaze back to donghyuck, who had already dismissed you, his attention back on his game.

you would stay.

you always stayed.

and as you sank back into the mattress, staring up at the ceiling with tears pooling in your eyes, the frailty of your willpower sank in like a stone. you hated yourself for it, hated how weak you were, hated how easily he broke you.

but deep down, you knew you’d come back again.

you always did.

[romanarose]

I Miss You, Mr. Miller

DBF!Joel Miller x fem!reader

Masterlist

Summary: Joel makes you WET wet.

AKA

There's a pun here about eggs somewhere.

Warnings: Masturbating, sex toys, body worship, "little bunny", joel making sure reader knows he's old man, degrading, almost getting caught.

Immersivity: Reader is fem, dresses very feminine. Drinks and celebrates Christian holidays, not is christian but like family and culturally. Major age gap. Big girthy age gap but reader is 21+. Mentions of church.

A/N: Part of the DBF!Joel Holiday fuck series but you don't gotta read the previous part. I missed Easter OOPS so now we get a flashback.

1.3k words

You liked to start off slow, take your time with yourself. Hands, gliding over your shirt, feeling your body all the way down to your thighs. You learned this from Joel.

Sure a quickie was fun, especially under the threat of being caught, but Joel preferred to take his time with you. Likewise, you started to mimic this when masturbating. Joel you could, theoretically, take the vibe to your clit, put on some Gone Wild Audio and git’er done, but why? Why not show your body the appreciation it deserved. You were beautiful. You were sexy. Joel wasn’t the only one who could enjoy it.

Joel knelt before your spread legs, hands running up and down your pretty little Easter dress. Your dad had invited Joel over for Easter dinner, and you’d stayed in your dress all day to make sure he saw you in it. Joel was certain to show his appreciation.

“Such a pretty dress… such a pretty little bunny…” His fingers tweaked your nipples as he eyed you. “M one lucky old man.”

You giggle. “Thank you, Mr. Miller.”

Joel hummed. He loved when you called him that. Today, he’d had to hide the bonner he was sporting after you greeted him as Mr. Miller in your cute dress, hair all done up… he couldn’t stop thinking how he’d railed you in the church bathroom after Good Friday services… dirty, dirty girl.

Your hand skimmed over your clit at the memory… you might not need any porn this time, you were so turned on, so sensitive… you whimper at the first touch. Cupping your breasts, you try to get the feeling Joel gave when he touched them, but it wasn’t the same. Joel’s hands were large, rough, sure… Still, it felt good touching such sensitive parts of your body, and you sigh. You remember how much Joel praised you on Easter, touch yourself to the echo of his voice.

“Darling, beautiful girl… just look at you, cock dumb girl begging to be fucked with her dad downstairs… surrounded by teddies and pink frilly pillows… act’n like such a good girl, but you ain’t, are yuh?”

“Joooooel” You whine under his touch. “No, I’m a good girl…”

“Nuh-uh” Joel rips open your white tights to find you bare. “Good girls wear underwear to church.” he runs two fingers up your slicked up cunt. “Good girls don’t get wet for grumpy old men.”

You plunge two fingers into your core quickly dissatisfied so you add another. That makes you moan. You begin to pump them in and out of yourself, nowhere near as thick and god, not hitting close to how deep Joel hits you, when he fucks you raw. It’s wholly unsatisfying, but you were just getting started.

Joel finger fucked you, his two middle fingers pumping you at a rapid pace. “Naughty, naughty girl, little cunt clenching on my fingers… I can feel how tight you're getting, but you can’t cum yet… you wanna behave, don’t you? Or are you just as bad as I thought you were… Jesus Christ darl’n, can’t wait to get my cock up my bunny girl's guts again, shit, ‘m gonna miss you.”

Sarah was graduating college next year, and Joel was taking her on a road trip for a few weeks to tour colleges. Tommy had joked, saying he could ‘take care of yuh’ while he’s gone but Joel smacked him upside the head.

“Joel” you whimper. “I think… fuck… I think I’m gonna pee” 

Instead of getting off you, Joel grinned. “Keep hold’n, baby… Ima take care of you.”

You stuff your cunt full of four fingers, just trying to get a taste of what Joel left you with, a bit of that memory. Chanting his name, ‘Joel, Joel, Joel’ You chase that high that’s starting to build in your stomach. You remember how he fingered you, how he kissed your neck, arms, stomach, legs, every single inch of your body he loved so much.

“Joel!” You try to warn him again, but he’s not listening. Instead, he brings his face close to your dripping hole. 

“Let it go, sweet bunny, let go.”

Fuck. He edged you for 20 minutes, even as your mom walked past your door gossiping on the phone about Mrs. McKenzie’s nose ring. You’d warned him, now he’d deal with the consequences. Can’t be as bad as when you’d thrown up on him after St. Patrick's Day.

But when you let go, you cum. It’s hard, liquid shooting out of your body but it didn’t feel like pee. Your legs shake, body seizing up in shock from the sheer force of your orgasm. Joel laps it up, hungrily devouring your, drinking you up like you were communion wine. 

Vibrator on your clit, you remember how Joel ate you out as you came, grinding his hips against the bed, small little moans escaping his pretty little mouth, he bucked and licked and humped and sucked, growling when you stopped and eating you out until you came again, desperately biting your lip to not scream his name. Here in your apartment, in your own bed that Joel carried up here on Presidents Day, you could scream if you wanted to. And you did. Your orgasm hitting you, you keep the vibrator to the exact pressure it was at and ride out your orgasm wishing it was on Joel’s face.

Joel kissed you, his soaking wet face and beard all over yours as you lay there in shock, completely spent from the orgasm. 

“What…” You pant. “Was that…” 

Joel couldn’t keep his mouth off your skin very long, only barely managing to mumble that you squirted. “Such a good girl, oh my god, I was wrong, you’re just, fuuuuck, such a good fuck’n girl…”

You smile against him. “You gonna fuck me or what, Mr. Miller?”

Joel ground his crotch against yours. Wet. “Your little stunt make me cum in my pants like I’m a fuck’n teenager again, yuh lil brat.” He flicked a tit playfully.

Once every last bit of pleasure was exhausted, when you had cum your hear out to the thought of Joel fucking Miller between your legs, loudly and proudly. You sit up and smile at the phone at you pillow, still recording. You make sure to save the voice note in messenger, then cue it up to send it to Joel.

Sweet Thing: Use headphones, don’t open around Sarah ;)

*Send* You fall back on your bed, smiling.

“Joel?” Your dad called along with your name, making you startle. “I know you’re in there!”

You look to Joel in a panic, eyes wide and scared. Not scared of your dad, perse, he was good natured. Scared of disappointing him.

Your dad again. “Your boots are still at the door and it’s too muddy to go outside without em, open the damn door.”

Joel turned to you, whispering. “I’ll take the fall, it was my idea.”

You and Joel both stand, looking more proper. Joel’s black pants covered the fact he came in them, and your dress covered your ripped tights“Joel, no-” But he cut you off with a stern look.

“Ima take care of you, darl’n, understand?”

You nod. Joel unlocks the door and your dad steps in, arms crossed. “I know what you two are doing.”

Joel steps forward. “Listen man, it ain’t her fault.”

Your dad held out a hand. “Hey, I don’t care if you guys smoke weed together.”

You blink. He thought you were sneaking off together for a blunt? “Oh… you don’t?” You don’t smoke weed. Joel does, but you never found much interest. 

“Nah,” He waved his hand. “Just do it behind the garage, okay? It ain’t legal here yet. The neighbors can see your window from here.”

Joel cleared his throat. “Right, right, thanks man.”

“Thanks dad, sorry.”

Your dad chuckled. “I’m the cool dad, remember!”

 Your dad was absolutely not cool, but he was fun. A good dad. And you and Joel dodged a bullet, but you needed to be more careful. You run off to pretend to smoke a blunt.

SORRY IM LATE YALL LMFAOOOOO

Lum to me: Are you not doing the holiday Joel series anymore ;-;?

Me: Did I miss a holiday?

YEAH JUST EASTER I GUESS

I relayed this story to Clem and said "not my fault, I don't celebrate easter anyway, Jesus means nothing to Jews"

Clem "DIDN"T YOU CELEBRATE EASTER FOR A CHUNK OF YOUR LIFE?"

She's right! but she didn't have to say it :((((((( lmfaooooo

Anyway I did a new chapter of this AND and new Room's on fire so, y'all'er welcome XD

Check out my upcoming pride event!

hugs!

Im phasing out my taglist, so make sure to follow @romana-updates

@fandxmslxt69 @runa-falls @k-ra @ahookedheroespureheart @mikaelak @littlenosoul @stevenandmarcslove @pikapuff-316 @del-ightfulling @faretheeoscar @harriedandharassed @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @campingwiththecharmings @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin @milly-louise @casa-boiardi @joeldjarin @mrs-oharaxx @pedge-page @readingiskeepingmegoing @survivingandenduring

[averyfuckingtiredyounglady]

What kind of crush would SKZ be??

Ot8 x gn reader

This is like what vibe they give off to me/scenarios i can imagine them in

-Finished ver-

(Wow no smut this time)

BANG CHAN

close but not close enough

Chan is someone you always saw around. You lived in the same neighborhood and rode the school bus together. However, he was two years older than you and you never took classes with him or had much reason to talk to him at all but boy did you have a big fat stinking crush on him. You just did. If all he did was look your way or if he GREETED you?? It was the highlight of your day. Once he gave you back a pencil that you dropped.. you had kept it since.. Eventually chan ended up moving away and you never saw him again, you soon forgot about your little crush… until he came back home to visit…

LEE KNOW

classmate crush

Minho sits in front of you in class. He pretty much keeps to himself and he has a small group of friends. He’s known to have a dry personality but you cant help but notice his cute little quirks. His phone case with the pictures of his cats, the ugly face hes always doodling in his notebook and passing in notes to his friends. You dont have any friends in this class so you dont have anything better to do but stare at his back just wanting to reach out and tap him on the shoulder and say hi.. or anything… but something makes you feel like itll be too awkward so you never do. Miraculously, one day in the hall you hear him from behind you whisper yelling your name “hey! Y/n!” But when you turn to face him you notice hes unable to meet your eyes. “Hey umm.. i dont know if anyone else told you, but… you have toilet paper stuck to your shoe.”

CHANGBIN

the already taken

Changbin is your friend’s boyfriend… and you like him a lot… like.. a lot a lot.. Oops. Well… YOU LIKED HIM FIRST.. but he liked her more… at least you’re pretty sure he does. You never told anyone about your little crush so you can’t blame anyone but yourself. So whenever you see them kissing, holding hands, or, lord help you, whenever youre third wheeling while hanging out with them, you want to beat yourself unconscious with the nearest heavy object.

HYUNJIN

Love at first sight, beautiful stranger

On any standard day at work you come across some attractive people of course, but sometimes you see someone and it just… hits different. And you CANT stop staring at this one customer… like what the fuck?? They make em like this??? Holy shit… and you know youre staring but youre like… in shock.. he clearly just came from working out or something because he has a light sheen of sweat.. he just looks kinda wet… all over… but its hot??? You watch him disappear into one aisle after the next while hes doing his shopping and suddenly youre imagining your first date. Youre checking out the customer in front of you but youre still thinking about him… by the time youve married him in your imagination, hes finished shopping and coming toward the registers and youre holding your breath thinking “please dont come to me. Please dont come to me.. pleeeasse dont fucking come to my fucking register!!!” Aaaanndd there he is.

Han

Friendzoned

Han Jisung is so full of shit… he won’t date you because you’re “too good for him”. What a crock of horse shit… You wish you’d never confessed and right now you’re at a restaurant and he’s talking to you about god knows what. You see his mouth moving but you’re consumed with your thoughts, replaying the conversation in your head when he friendzoned you like its a fucking snuff film… and what in god’s name is he yapping on about? “Y/N! Are you listening? Can i have some of your fries?”

FELIX

Childhood friend

Everyone loves Felix.. That’s what you tell yourself. Your feelings are normal. The feeling that you would kill to see him smile… Come oooon. Its Felix. Who wouldnt??? Yeah, you get angry when you see him getting close to other friends and yeah you don’t like sharing his company with anyone else.. You’ve known him practically since birth. Being with Felix is like returning home. If nostalgia was a person. it’s only natural to have an attachment right? You know him better than anyone else and nothing can threaten the bond you two have. Yep. You and Felix are just a couple of BFFs. Nothing less… nothing more.

Seungmin

Dense crush

You and Seungmin are in the same department at work. You started as juniors at the company hired around the same time. He started a little before you, helping you with some of the knowledge that he himself had just learned. You were nervous to start a new job and honestly a bit intimidated by the whole thing but Seungmin made all that so much easier.. he was so respectful and hard working and helped you more than he needed to. The way he buttoned his shirt all the way to the top and hid his smile when he laughed was so cute to you.. and you admired that he was such a perfectionist with his work and before you knew it… you had a work crush. You tried dropping hints. You tried complimenting him on his work which you felt he would especially like. But he kinda just nodded at you. You noticed when he got a haircut and told him it looked nice. You put extra effort in your clothes and hair enough to be noticed but not to be obvious and skipped your lunch break like he usually does a few times just to be in the office alone with him… You really should stop the games and just be more direct but WHAT MORE DOES HE WANT FROM YOU? Youre just a girl for Pete’s sake. When all else fails, you start to put your master plan together when you and Seungmin get put on a work project together.

I.N

Too young for me… but?

🎶 You saaayy it’s because of my age, girl. But, age ain’t nothin but a numbeeerrr. It ain’t nothin but a nuuummbbeerr, babyyyyy 🎶

It’s easy to sing along to these lyrics in a song that have nothing to do with you at all.. and thats what you were doing, quietly singing to yourself when you were out on your early morning walk in the park and happened upon a young gentleman, a rather young gentleman, jogging on the same trail. He gives you a respectful nod as he goes by. You let your eyes linger on him for longer than they should have. Why not? It’s free! He had on some running shorts too…Woo chile! If you were his age…he just don’t know… You shake your head at yourself and huff out a quiet chuckle, picking up your pace. You meet each other again and again as you both make your laps. At one point you see him taking a break, bent over with his hands on his hips, chest heaving up and down, trying to catch his breath, his hair sticking to his forehead with sweat. You started to get some inappropriate thoughts and you decided you might as well go home. Acting like an old pervert is not how you wanted to start your day. As you’re changing out of your tennis shoes and chucking them in your back seat you feel a tap on your shoulder. You jump a bit because you didn’t know anyone was there and remove your headphones. It’s him. Of course it is. He has a shy smile.

“Sorry ma’am. I didn’t want to bother you earlier while you were, ya know, busy, but… you’re really beautiful and—“

You start to chuckle softly.

“That’s sweet but you just called me ma’am. I’m way too old for you, dude.”

“Oh. Sorry. It’s just a habit. I mean, I can tell you’re older but it’s nothing I can’t handle.”

“Oh? Is that right?” You taunt.

You squint your eyes at him, reading his expression… what is wrong with this young man? Oh, what the hell? What’s the worse that could happen?