#I’m doing this while avoiding math lol

[azrail-has-a-vendetta]

okay, you caught me. I stayed up an hour past my bed time reading and analyzing “I have no Mouth, and I must Scream”

I’m horrified, 10/10 would recommend.

Rant under the cut (has spoilers lol)

it definitely was something else. When Ted was talking about the humans creating AM, I got Frankenstein vibes. Really we have so much literature about human’s creating sentience, and it backfiring on them. Both ask the question, “can man play God?” And the answer has been “it will kill you”

which really begs the question “will man kill god?” (I digress)

but in each case humanity has been put above what it created. But in Frankenstein the monster was abandoned before he could be taught humanity, and showed it naturally but was rejected, so he rejected his humanity too.

in I have no Mouth, AM was built as a tool of war, therefore, it wasn’t ALLOWED to have humanity. Because if you felt for those who you were killing, you’d feel guilty.

But let’s define what humanity even means, according to the Oxford Dictionary, Humanity is:

1. the human race; human beings collectively.

2. humaneness; benevolence

The first one doesn’t really fit with AM and the monster, but it shouldn’t be completely thrown out quite yet. The monster in Frankenstein was made by Frankenstein (aka the little bastard) to be better than humans as they were. He strived to create the perfect human, but instead, created his “monster” (what did you think was gonna happen bluv? Look at it, it has anxiety!)

AM, however was not created to be human, while created, probably, to be smarter (he was a computer) he wasn’t supposed to be human, he is a machine.

The second definition is probably what you think of when I use the word humanity.

Benevolence means: the quality of being well meaning; kindness.

The monster (the creation, not Victor), has benevolence. We see his capacity of kindness, when he watches the family. He does small things to protect and help them. He saves people (i.e. the boy in the river) but loses it after being rejected. (Also it bugs me that the stereotype of Frankenstein’s monster can’t speak, all the grunting and ‘fire bad’ shit. He was very well spoken, and very intelligent)

AM, on the other hand, was not given benevolence, being created during the Cold War/WWIII. And never shows any kindness.

Now let’s talk about hate. Both AM, and the monster hate their creators. In Frankenstein this is for creating him, and abandoning him. It’s very clearly outlined. In I have no Mouth, it’s different. AM doesn’t hate his creators for making him, but for trapping him. They gave him a mind, a will, an identity and no way to use it. And (probably bc it’s a war machine) it retaliated by killing everyone expect the 5.

Now, Frankenstein’s monster, and AM have very different reactions, the monster never tries to play god, still seeing Victor in that role, (I have a whole thing on that), while AM, in the caverns, does play God. He purposely uses biblical references, (i.e. the burning bush, the archangles, etc.) to suggest that he is their God, (or that their God has forsaken them). Ted actually comments on this “If there was a god, it was AM” (or smth, I don’t have it on me rn). But then he later realizes that “it [AM] was no god, it was a machine” (again I’m recalling from memory don’t @ me).

I could probably talk for a few hours on this, and include more, like Ted slut-shaming Ellen (You have no idea how much this bugs me), Benny, Victor’s God Complex, how all this relates to today’s use of AI, humans and killing god, and more, but instead I’m going to just talk about the last bit bc this is already too long.

In the end Ted ends up much like how I feel AM felt in the beginning. The infamous line, “I have no mouth, and I must scream” is really giving me how AM must have felt when it first came to sentience. Of course I’m not saying AM is the victim here, (whereas in Frankenstein the monster is definitely more of a victim; but it’s complicated okay?) but that he probably unknowingly has created, in Ted, what AM felt. This suffocating feeling of knowing, and being unable to voice it. Being created without a physical part to scream. It really speaks for itself. I’ve read scary shit, but nothing quite is as terrifying as being unable to scream, not just out of fear (like in the Quiet Place), but not having the physical ability to do so.

[scribblewrites]

Random MHA headcanons that live in my brain

list of some stupid headcanons that just feel right

Characters: Bakugou, Kirishima, Kaminari, Uraraka

Bakugou

Texts with full proper sentence structure and punctuation. He focuses too much on his studies to not be a nerd when texting. I’m talking corporate email style texts.

He is an ugly sleeper. tossing, kicking, snores with his mouth open, you name it. he also looks like shit in the mornings but will deny it and tell everyone that he just rolls out of bed and is good to go.

Has hyperhydrosis and has only worn black/dark clothes since middle school to avoid people commenting on his sweating.

He is asexual. He doesn’t realize he is until his early twenties, he always thought he was just better than other teens for not being distracted by relationships and horny things.

Kirishima

Refuses to wear gloves when dying his hair. His hands and ears are constantly stained red from the messy application.

Wears a retainer at night to help stop teeth grinding or accidentally biting his tongue.

Dry scoops pre workout/creatine like a MENACE when in a rush. He says he’s fine doing it but has had multiple coughing fits after accidentally inhaling.

Kaminari

Struggles in math and English (dyslexia & dyscalculia) but thrives in science. He adores physical science especially, but since people expect him to not be a good student he stopped applying himself.

Has accidentally eaten a candle

Got his wisdom teeth removed in his second year, Sero proceeded to video him crying because his doctor “stole his bones” while recovering from laughing gas.

Knows and uses the most chronically online slang terms to confuse and upset Iida and Bakugou

Uraraka

Will float things around her room while multitasking. She often forgets when she does this and will walk into waterbottles and notebooks she left floating

She often doodles in class and started keeping small notebooks full of cute animal drawings. She’s not especially talented or anything but will always leave doodles for her teachers on tests.

Is a huge fan of mug cakes. She is the reason the dorms never have clean mugs but always offers to make them for her friends as a quick treat.

Loves anything with strawberries. Order at a small coffee shop? Strawberry matcha. Favorite treat at the bakery? Strawberry fruit sandwich. Her favorite snack when her family is tight on money is strawberries dipped in sugar.

Hope y’all liked these stupid hc’s lol. Let me know of y’all’s favorite random highly specific headcanons

[sorencd]

hey hannah! hope you're well <3 could you write about having a study session with charlie dalton? im studying rn and i cant stop thinking about him lol

LOVING IS EASY

pairing: charlie dalton x reader

word count: 0.7k

a/n: hii anon! here u go :) GOOD LUCK WITH UR STUDYING BBY MWAMWAS

masterlist

charlie knows where the extent of his intelligence is. he wasn't as much of a genius as meeks but he wasn't dumb either. he only felt the need to study when it was really necessary. mostly, he'd rather spend his time with you, the other poets, or playing the saxophone.

when he met you though, he's come to love studying more and more. he loves lying on your carpet on the ground beside you with a bunch of textbooks sprawled out in front of you. he adored the little snacks your mom would bring in the middle of your studying with a grin on her face, saying you'll accomplish more with a full stomach. he always liked staying at your place more than his. besides, your dad's starting to like him.

sometimes, when you’re helping him find the answer to a seemingly impossible maths problem that’s stumping the both of you, he'd opt to stare at you instead of focusing on the task at hand. he’d watch you chew on your pen, angrily ramble about how it all makes no sense, scribble formulas that he’s sure aren’t the right ones, and listen to how pretty your voice sounds. he’d ease his cheeks into his arms that were crossed on the floor and nod his head to everything you’d say, occasionally flipping the pages to put on the guise of knowing what you’re talking about. he knows by the end of the day, he’ll distract you and avoid you two from achieving anything.

while you were busy marking your latin notes to their respective places, and to give charlie an easier time reading it all when he needs to, you heard a soft thump! to your right. charlie, whom you thought was also doing the same thing you were, at least was doing the same thing, had now decided to slump further onto the carpet. ‘that’s gotta hurt.’ you wondered, slightly wincing before poking his cheek. his brain was getting fried from all this studying.

“i don’t understand how this could possibly be used in the future. when will i ever say ‘quid est tempestas hodie?’” he whined. you do have to agree, when will you use latin? you shrugged and just guessed it would come in handy one day.

“don’t be like that! latin is fun! imagine how many swear words you could say and no one outside of welton would understand you.”

“then what’s the point? most of the people i want to say ‘stercore manducare’ to is from hellton.” 

“it can’t be that bad!”

“enroll and find out then, it’ll make me very happy if you do that.” he batted his eyelashes and puckered his lips, his face contorted into a silly expression, making smooching sounds to your dismay.

you giggled and pushed him away in a joking matter, “stop, you’re making me lose focus!”

charlie feigned hurt as he let out a huff, turning to lie on his back and raised a hand to his forehead. “the world is treating me bad, misery! my darling has finally cracked and can now ignore the un-ignorable me!” it was like he was reciting a poem. it always made you laugh whenever he did that. his sudden outbursts of poetical literacy always successfully being able to lift up your spirits.

“i’m getting sick of the floor, let’s study in bed instead! it’ll help us think better.” he cheekily proclaims, trying his best to persuade you. it didn’t take much convincing for him to get you to do anything. how could you ever pass up any opportunity with charlie? so inevitably, you would give in and you’d end up in bed, supposedly studying with a textbook in between your blanket covered legs. you could already see yourself waking up only to realise that you fell asleep. with charlie spooning you and your notes haphazardly scattered onto the floor.

you continued jotting down useful information both you and charlie could use when examination arrives, and he continued admiring you trying to write down on an uneven surface. it didn’t take long for charlie to realise that in every version he imagined himself as, he saw you in each one. he loved being nuwanda with you. because with you, loving is easy.

© sorencd . 2023 ─ do not copy, repost, translate or claim any of my works as your own.

[therealmsdelulu]

Batter and Banter.

Summary: You and Jonah have a super domestic moment baking and light playful bantering.

Warnings: None, pure fluff.

A/N: I’ve never made cake from scratch so i just used the first recipe i saw online lol and i didn’t feel like reading all that so all the measurements are made up so if the math isnt mathing thats why.

“Babe where’s the cake mix?” You asked looking through the target bags.

“I thought we were making it from scratch,” he said looking at you nervously.

“I guess we have to now,” you chuckled pulling out your phone looking for a recipe. “Okay listen closely,” you told him and he listened attentively, “grab the flour, baking soda, eggs, buttermilk, vanilla extract, butter, vegetable oil, sugar, and salt,"

“Yes ma’am,” he saluted you playfully before scavenging for the ingredients.

“Okay, first it says to mix a whole stick of butter, a half cup of oil, and two tablespoons of sugar in a bowl,” you read from your phone before grabbing a bowl from the cabinet and placed it on the counter.

Jonah put the ingredients in the bowl and you handed him the electric mixer and he got to work on that while you started on mixing the dry ingredients.

“Okay now it says to add in two eggs, one at a time, and stir thoroughly after each one,” you recited the recipe and watched as Jonah did just that.

“Alright now we combine the wet and dry ingredients,” you told him while he slowly poured the mixture into your bowl and you mixed it as he went and you poured in a little buttermilk to make the batter less chunky. You added in the vanilla extract for the flavor.

“You’re not going to measure it?” Jonah asked as he watched you pour the extract straight from the bottle.

“I just pour until my senses tell me to stop,” you claimed as you continued to pour the vanilla extract and stopped after a few seconds.

“That’s a lot of vanilla extract,” Jonah said looking in the bowl but you put your finger over his mouth shutting him up.

“Trust me,” you told him, “I’m true to this not new to this,”

“Yes ma’am,” he said playfully putting his hands up in surrender as you mixed the vanilla extract into the cake batter. You dipped your finger into the bowl and just as you were about to try the batter Jonah took your hand and licked the batter off your finger.

“Seriously,” you asked and rolled your eyes at him.

“That’s really good,” he said attempting to dip his finger back in put you smacked his hand away and began to pour the the batter into the pan. “Can i at least lick the spoon,” he asked hopefully as you placed the pan into the oven and set a timer.

“Knock yourself out,” you deadpanned and he tilted his head at you.

“Why’d you say it like that,” he asked taking note of your overly serious tone.

“Say it like what?” you asked in the same tone trying to hold back your laughter.

“Like that,” he exclaimed. “Knock yourself out,” he said mocking your tone of voice.

“I do not sound like that,” you claimed and rolled your eyes at his attempt at your voice,

“I do not sound like that,” he repeated you but was quickly shut up when you threw flour at him. “Oh thats what we’re doing?” he asked before picking up a handful of flour.

“No,” you shouted before slowly backing away from him. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” you apoligized multiple times.

“I forgive you,” he said before throwing the flour at you making sure to avoid your hair. Before you knew it your kitchen was covered in flour and so were you and Jonah.

“I hate you so much,” you told him looking down at your flour covered apron.

“I love you too, darling,” he said helping you wipe the flour off of your apron. You heard the timer go off and grabbed your oven mitts grabbing the cake out of the oven.

You stuck a toothpick inside of it to make sure it was ready and it was so you stuck the cake in the fridge for a little bit so it could cool off and you could put the icing on it.

Mini time skip

You and Jonah were sitting on the couch eating the cake and watching your favorite show.

“You have a little something right there,” Jonah told you falsely.

“Where?” you asked him and you began to feel around on your face searching for whatever was on there.

“Right there,” he said before wiping icing on your cheek.

“You make me sick,” you said rolling you eyes as he wiped the icing off with his thumb.

“I love you too Y/N,” he told you before kissing you and laying his head on your lap and you began playing with his hair before kissing his forehead.

PART TWO

[shrekgogurt]

Well folks. I’m on my substitute teaching grind again this week! Scheduled each day up in hopes of getting some good writing done. I did on Monday! And then proceeded to finally start reading @ninemagicks Game/Set/Match yesterday and did that every bell so uhhhhhh. Today………..well ummmmm…..yeah today I worked on chapter graphics because I’m in big procrastination mode. I want to keep riding this wave of engagement (that sounds corporate gross) but I’m also very much in my head about delivering. I should probably channel this energy into writing the chapter since such pressure is Baz’s literal arc but uhhhhhhhh why do that when I could Simon avoid. I love being mentally well!

One might say I need to find my own bravado. (more under the cut)

lol the chapter title for 13 is bravado by lorde

ok anyway

“Work In Progress Wednesday” right? That means I can talk about the progress of every part of the process? Huh? Yeah? Are you gonna stop me? TRY! TRY TO STOP ME!

Aggression aside, let’s get into it.

As previously stated on Sunday, we find ourselves at intermission. But that’s just the theatrical way of slicing up the story. The fun thing about 24 chapters (I got rid of my originally planned intermission chapter because I didn’t want to write it anymore) is that math really loves the number 24. It’s scrumptious. Yummily divisible. Ergo, IKABIKAM also has/is/will be deliciously divided. Afterall, I do keep saying I’m cooking on it.

Now, to put @alexalexinii on blast (sorry for perceiving you), they wrote in the tags of a Chapter 12 reblog: #made me realise that this fic had proper arcs? And I grinned. I cackled. I rubbed my grubby little hands together at the top of my tower as I’ve been doing this whole time because oh ARCS???????? YOU WANT ARCS???????????? I’VE GOT ARCS LYING IN WAIT LIKE YOU WOULDN’T BELIEVE. (I love overselling myself.)

Allow me to let you in on some of the building blocks thus far.

Chapters 1, 2, 3: a complicated reunion which is shaky but ultimately sets up

Chapters 4, 5, 6: developing the friendship which is a crucial foundation for

Chapters 7, 8, 9: the gay (Baz’s increasingly more external “hi i’m gay”, Simon’s internal “oh wait me too”) which then explodes into

Chapters 10, 11, 12: all that political parent stuff that’s been hinted at in passing which is BIG relevant and incredibly intertwined in this tangled up mess that leads into the work of….

You get it. They’re mini trilogies. Don’t ask me about dividing the chapters into groups of four because I didn’t have that in mind while writing. I like threes better. Always have. Absolute banger of a prime number.

If you for some reason want to read more about the structure, I write a little more about it in this wipsday from when I was procrastinating 9.

Now, @cutestkilla keeps telling me I’m at the downward slope now but honestly delivering on what I’ve set up scares the shit out of me WAY more than the grunt work. I’m uhhhhh yeah. This is why I’m chronically unable to finish projects but by GOD I will finish this one. I swear by it.

So here are three sentences. You get to guess from who and when.

Loving him comes as naturally as breathing. It’s intuitive when I’m not thinking. Or rather, when I’m not panicking.

If you want to follow along with all the songs I’m hyperfixating on as inspiration I’ve been sharing them over on the “shrogurt” instagram. There’s nothing I love more than talking way too much about this damn fic. Thanks for reading!

And thank you for the tags today: @nausikaaa @facewithoutheart @hushed-chorus @artsyunderstudy @prettygoododds @emeryhall

Now tagging: @brilla-brilla-estrellita @captain-aralias @dani-vc @ebbpettier @excalisbury @facewithoutheart @fatalfangirl @hagnoart @iamamythologicalcreature @ileadacharmedlife @imagineacoolusername @ivelovedhimthroughworse @j-nipper-95 @larkral @letraspal @martsonmars @messofthejess @moodandmist @mooncello @nightimedreamersworld @onepintobean @palimpsessed @raenestee @rimeswithpurple @theearlgreymage @theimpossibledemon @thewholelemon @valeffelees @whogaveyoupermission @youarenevertooold @you-remind-me-of-the-babe

[ihrtjiro]

hihi i wanna request a mha matchup ^^

character preference-wise i prefer male and i’d like it if you could avoid the adult characters!

as for me, i’m roughly 5’7, blonde w brown eyes (and a girl lol) i’m an ambivert, so im pretty comfortable in social situations but i get overwhelmed quite fast and often end up zoning out/ getting quiet. i’d like to think that i have a good balance between being loud and listening to others but at times i can be a bit of a yapper 🙊 i’m very emotional, so i hate seeing my friends upset (i’m the if ___ cries, i cry type of person).

interests wise, i love science and really want to pursue that as a career (specifically biochemistry). in the same vein, i take my academics really seriously because i don’t play sports at all and genuinely enjoy learning. i also love graphic design as a side hobby and do little projects in my spare time ^^ other hobbies of mine include painting, skiing and gaming.

likes: dogs, kpop, sleeping, playing roblox (lol), iced tea, nerds gummy clusters 🤤

dislikes: math (i’m just bad at it), spiders, needles, and very specifically the point in winter where it’s dark and cold and bleak

hope this is good and thank u smmmm 🎀

a/n; hey heyy! hope u enjoy this :))

your matchup is…

hanta sero !!

sero always tries to be very aware of your behaviors while in social settings! like if you’re not talking/zoned out, he’ll try engage with you specifically to make you feel more welcomed! (he also loves it when you yap.. 🤫)

he also thinks it’s very endearing how seriously you take your academics! it reminds him of iida or yaomomo a lot and it’s very sweet to him :))

i personally hc sero to be good at math because i imagine while training his quirk he had to get really good at measurements when deciding how much tape he wanted to shoot for whatever reason, so he’d easily be able to help you with your math work if you couldn’t do it haha

he’d also shoot out small strips of tape for you to paint and doodle on during classes whenever you got bored <3

i do not permit for my work to be reposted, translated, or stolen. all rights go to ihrtjiro. characters are not mine, unless stated, and belong to their rightful creators.

[oniondip420]

Yarn Log - Mini Hyperbolic Paraboloid

Background & Thoughts

After my experience doing the coaster in a single day, I again felt like doing just a tiny crochet project that I could speed through. I’ve always wanted to do one of the hyperbolic plane curly guys, but searching on Ravelry only turned up paid patterns or ones that were technically hosted on other sites. The app on my phone I use to actually hold the patterns I’m working on (knitCompanion) can only automatically import free Ravelry downloads, so I opted for this instead.

A hyperbolic paraboloid is the mathematical name for the kind of saddle shaped surface that you may recognize as the Pringles shape. As a former math major I think they’re pretty cool, and it seemed like a good substitute for the actual hyperbolic plane I was searching for. Plus, it was a really small project, so I could once again bang it out start to finish in a single day.

Once again, I used my 4.25mm crochet hook, but this time I used the medium weight yarn I had left over from The Blanket™ (post still incoming! I just am queuing up a few smaller yarn logs in the mean time lol). The only new maneuver in the pattern was the sc2tog, which was pretty easy to google and execute.

Something you may notice in the above picture is that my result barely resembles the target shape lol. I can think of a few explanations for this, all relating to yarn tension:

I generally messed up the yarn tension, which I already know I need to work on (see yesterday’s coaster post)

I improperly handled the sc2tog’s as the mirror reverse of the doubled-up sc stitches (to increase the stitch count back up on the latter half). This may have caused the weird curling

What is certainly clear though, is that I used the wrong size of crochet hook. Looking at another small roll of the same yarn in a different color that I’ve yet to take off the packaging for, it recommends using a 5mm crochet hook for the medium weight yarn. This means that using the hook itself to measure my gauge as I was working resulted in it being too tight, which also likely combined with the sc2tog and general yarn tension issues to produce this outcome.

UPDATE ON LAST POINT SINCE I FIRST DRAFTED THIS: I did it again with the yarn I used for the coaster (which seemed the right weight for the hook size), and the shape is still bogus. So while I still think the hook size was an issue, at this point I think either it’s a flaw in the pattern itself, or the same general tension issue from the tiny swatch I made with the coaster. Not including a pic of that, bc it’s basically the same just slightly smaller and purple.

Since this piece is not meant to lie flat, I am unable to block it into a better shape. So I’m just accepting it as it is lol

Major lessons learned:

I need to continue working on my yarn tension problems before working on a bigger project. My hyperfixation-specific perfectionism-triggered affective disorder would easily undermine any triumphs I’d make if the tension is messed up on a project I care more about, and I don’t want to set myself up for avoidable depression lol.

I need to obtain a more complete set of crochet needles. I have a good set of smaller ones, but after my bookmark experience, no way in hell will I be using the tiny-ass weighted yarn that would be appropriate for those. This 4.25mm is what I carry in my active projects bag to handle mistakes and to fasten the outside tail of when I make center-pull yarn balls. It worked with the yarn weight I used yesterday for the coaster, but I don’t have a lot left of that kind. My next hook size up is 6.5mm, for heftier yarn weights. So if I want to be crocheting with the yarn weights I commonly have on hand, I really am gonna have to invest in different sizes. Bleh, money. I have since made the purchase and am waiting for it to arrive.

Sometimes it seems, pattern makers will not tell you explicitly to do the turning stitch when going to the next row. This hasn't really been an issue for me since, due to me working in a spiral ever since then, but I have gotten a lot more observant about stitch counts when reading patterns.

Pattern

[dausy]

We said goodbye to our house. Packed up all the rest of our belongings into our 2 vehicles and are currently chilling in a hotel. If we had stayed another 2 days we wouldn’t get our money back for the rest of the month for who knows how long.

Yesterday we went out for dinner with a friend. Today we are going to go get our retiree ID cards and get the all clear to leave. We plan to hit the road tomorrow morning. It’ll be a long 11 hours across Texas. Tomorrow will be our longest day. Gonna go try and visit my grandpa in Houston as I haven’t seen him in years but he always posts hilarious things to my husbands Facebook. The two have never met. Then we are going to visit my husbands uncle in Mississippi and then we will make our way to Tennessee. I’m tired already and can already tell I’ll have to pee every 5 mins. Last time we did this because we are doing 2 vehicles, we found it easier to go old school and talk to each other via walkytalky. Also, my husbands headlights are messing up and we want to avoid driving at night because it’s hard to see.

I’ve already mispacked and couldn’t remember what bag I put my dogs stuff in, where I put my make up, where I put my charging cables etc lol

My dog seems hella confused and concerned.

The hotel we are at had requested we bring our kennel and my husband almost talked me out of bringing it because we’ve never needed it before. But I’m glad I left it out and brought it. The hotel practically had us put it together in the lobby so they could take photos of it. They must have had issues with pets in the past. I’m glad I kennel trained my dog. She hasn’t been in her kennel in a couple years and I literally forgot she was and was real nervous leaving her in her kennel in the room alone. She just went in and chilled. Yay me.

Our next journey is to find a place to rent and get out of my moms house asap because I just learned my brother was moving back home too and I love family and all but it makes me claustrophobic. I’d kind of like to rent a luxury apartment or home in a community that has a community pool and gym but alas..that might be out of reach. I start my new job in December and my husband has a tentative job offer from another company that also starts in December. We did the math on our finances and if everything goes as planned we could actually afford more than I’m comfortable spending. But I hesitate to bank on anything until the money is actually flowing in. I really just want it to be 6 months from now when we have all our belongings back and we are settled into a new routing where we both complain ‘I don’t want to go to work tomorrow T.T”

My husband still wants to try and sneak in a Washington DC trip too until we start work but I dunno if that’ll happen while we house hunt.

Anyway, happy travels tomorrow. I’m going to try to listen to a book I’ve been putting off but probably listen to trash tv podcasts the whole time.

[saivii]

gonna just. post these minoru/ryo teacher au headcanon things here: (part 1 bc the whole thing goes over the character limit lol)

teacher au:

minoru is probably a gym teacher (if not i think he’d teach science) and i can’t decide if ryo is art or english or math lolol

or maybe ryo teaches home ec

minoru is the fun one who tries to keep the class entertained

ryo is a bit stern and strict at times but he’s passionate about what he teaches and he cares a lot about his students (even if he’s not super obvious at showing it)

minoru will sometimes just briefly come in ryo’s classroom while he’s teaching and do something to mess with him like flickering the lights or saying something silly

ryo will scoff and try scolding him whenever he does but minoru runs out the door while laughing

minoru probably ruffles ryo’s hair or gives him a noogie at some point and ryo fumes at him for fucking up his hair

if minoru doesn’t mess with him for a while, he’ll secretly miss it or be worried about him

maybe he’ll even check to see if minoru is okay and accidentally show minoru that he’s worried bc of the lack of shenanigans, which minoru will tease him about

then minoru will go back to messing with him, ryo will act annoyed but secretly feel relieved, and his students will notice his fond exasperation and tease him about it

maybe one time ryo exasperatedly asks him if he’d like to teach the class and minoru accepts, makes it fun, and gets ryo involved and gets ryo to smile

and minoru makes it his mission to get ryo to smile/laugh

after that the students tease ryo even more about how minoru made him smile lol

ryo definitely starts making excuses to see minoru. shit like “oh you left your pencil in my class” (even if he didn’t and it’s literally a random pencil) or “xyz student wanted ___/wanted to let you know ____” (or maybe one of the other teachers like takuma told him to tell minoru that bc he Knows how minoru and ryo are feeling and wants them both to be happy)

if takuma told ryo to tell minoru smth minoru would smirk and say “takuma’s my friend, why wouldn’t he just tell me himself” and ryo’s like “idk man i’m not a psychic!!!” 

also minoru would just tease him like “i think you’re here bc deep down you like me” and ryo gets flustered and grumbles smth to the effect of “don’t flatter yourself”

and he doesn’t know why he’s like this now and is annoyed at himself for wanting to do all this

the answer is probably bc he likes minoru’s playfulness and smile, and bc seeing him over and over again has made him get more attached to him (yay for the mere exposure effect)

minoru starts playfully teasing him/bantering with him more often, like at lunch or in the break room

he also feels happy when ryo starts bantering back

then there’d be a moment where ryo is struggling bc smth reminds him of his fear that nobody actually likes him and ppl think he’s a burden, and minoru can see that ryo’s acting different. he sees that ryo is quieter than usual and that he looks sad rather than slightly grumpy and snarky like he usually is, and that ryo isn’t responding to minoru’s playful teasing or joking. 

ryo also avoids minoru, which hurts and confuses minoru and minoru starts to wonder if he did or said something that was seriously hurtful to ryo. 

so at some point he manages to talk to ryo one on one and he sheepishly says that if he went too far with any of his teasing, he’s sorry. ryo is confused and quietly says that minoru’s teasing isn’t the issue. 

minoru asks what the actual issue is, ryo tries to pretend like nothing is wrong, and minoru gets frustrated and starts arguing with ryo until ryo finally admits that he feels unlikeable and that he envies how minoru seems to be liked by everyone and be so confident and happy all the time.

minoru’s shocked and a little sad that ryo feels that way. he didn’t think ryo really cared about what other ppl think and he still can’t help but wonder if he might have accidentally said something that made ryo feel so insecure

ryo continues by saying that his students seem to like minoru and that they’d probably rather be taught by minoru 

minoru says that the students still really like ryo but they just act differently around ryo bc his personality is different (which ryo doesn’t believe and thinks minoru is just trying to sugarcoat the truth)

minoru also hesitantly adds that he’s not happy all the time and that he feels like being funny is one of the only things he’s good at

then ryo is surprised but asks why minoru would think that when so many ppl like him. 

minoru points out that ppl like ryo too, and ryo says “oh yeah? name one person who actually likes me,” and minoru pauses before quietly admitting, “i like you…”

and ofc ryo’s like “why?? half the time i’m roasting you” and is genuinely confused as to why minoru likes him. minoru bashfully explains that he doesn’t tease anyone else nearly as much as he teases ryo and that he feels like he can just have fun when they’re together and that he likes their banter (he’s not ready to admit the part about liking ryo’s smile and laugh yet lmao)

that makes ryo really happy and he can’t stop himself from smiling before sheepishly admitting that he returned minoru’s pencil and told minoru what the students wanted to say to him just to give him an excuse to talk to minoru

then minoru smirks and says “so you do like me deep down” and when ryo doesn’t deny it, minoru teasingly says “aww, ryo has a heart” and then they’re back to bantering and laughing like they usually do

maybe minoru even convinces the students to do something thoughtful for ryo like writing him thank you notes and when ryo sees it, he swears he’s not tearing up and that the sun is just bright. he’s surprised but touched when he realizes it was minoru’s idea and awkwardly thanks him at some point

the students tease tf out of BOTH of them for this, especially minoru

“aww, you’re worried about him and wanna make him feel better” or smth idk

ryo and minoru get a lot closer after that whole conversation and spend a lot more time together bc of it. they also start spending time together outside of school and gradually become more vulnerable with each other.

their bantering starts to seem a lot more flirtatious, with a lot more smiling and laughing and touches (like playful nudging)

speaking of which, they find more excuses to give each other lil touches, like minoru throwing an arm around ryo’s shoulders or ryo trying to get an eyelash off minoru’s cheek or fix his hair or fix his tie

they start looking at each other more fondly. ryo has unintentionally looked at minoru like a lovesick teenager when minoru is rambling excitedly about something, and minoru has given ryo several yearning looks when ryo isn’t looking

they start getting more attached to each other and think about how fun and easy it is for them to be around each other. ofc they have other friends but none of them have the same dynamic that they have with each other. they start thinking about each other more often and random things start reminding them of each other more often. 

[agathasroad]

(You know who this is lol) Put every idea you got about the Glee cast all going to high school in NY and Brittany becoming Spider-Girl on your blog. ❤️

This took me so long, but when I’m asked to share my au ramblings from the dm’s I gotta do it🥰

I’m gonna put this all under a read more because it’s so long💕

This isn’t even half of what was thought of for this au btw lmao and most of this is my unhinged ramblings but here we go

How Britt gets bitten:

Okay so during the deliberation on this au, there were 2 theories of how Brittany gets bitten put forth lmao

The first was that Brittany gets bitten while doing a lab tour (maybe for a scholarship program she was applying for, with her genius math brain) with her aunt *we’ll get to her in a minute*

The second was that Brittany was having a massive 16th birthday party at some big old venue or something and she goes to get away from the noise of everything. She ends up stumbling into an off limits/dusty room and gets bit. Santana finds her as she stumbles out. She insists she’s fine but when she wakes up the next morning and…uh oh👀

*OKAY SO Brittany’s aunt is the sort of uncle Ben/aunt May figure…so you know where this is going lmao

Brittany has an aunt who she was really close with. Maybe she was the only other person who seemed to share Brittany’s way of thinking, and was the only other queer person in the family who Brittany could confide in. She wasn’t close with the rest of her family so spent a lot of time with her aunt. Then one day…her aunt is tragically killed because she was just being boldly who she was. At this point, Brittany already had her spider powers but never used them for anything other than for fun. However, like spider-man lore, her aunts death motivates her to step up and go after the bad guys (she feels guilty that she hadn’t used her powers to save her) and pledges to protect the people like her and her aunt💕

Who finds out when and how?

Sam finds out first. He’s the big superhero nerd and is a big Avengers fanboy, so he immediately is noticing the classic signs of a friend hiding a secret identity. Brittany sneaks out of class one day and he follows her and catches her coming out of the back entrance to the school in her costume. At first, Brittany is terrified that he’s going to tell everyone, but he just begs to be her tech support guy in the chair😂 so he becomes sort of the Ned role of the team lmao

Then Rachel finds out. She only finds out because someone manages to get a video of spider girl singing and Rachel knows that voice. The girl prides herself on being trained to be able to distinctly pinpoint the details of someone’s singing - should she be in a blindfolded musical hostage situation lmao Rachel just will not let go of figuring this out and one day, Brittany sings in glee club and it all clicks. Of course, she then corners Brittany after class to confront her and Brittany’s so caught off guard that she reveals it all😅 Rachel doesn’t necessarily have an official team role but becomes the designated ‘distractor’ when Britt needs to get out of a social situation to go get into spider girl mode.

Santana finds out next and is livid that Rachel got to know before her😂 One theory of how she finds out came from the drama side of my brain😌 Santana’s really worried because Brittany keeps disappearing and avoiding her at times. Their relationship is just starting and she needs answers. So one day, Brittany stands Santana up again and she’s like “fuck this” and starts to leave where they were supposed to have their date. On her walk home she sees Spider Girl get into a fight in an alleyway and the bad guy gets away. Brittany is super beat up and, thinking she’s alone, takes off her mask to make sure her face isn’t messed up. They immediately lock eyes and it’s just dead silence for a few moments. Santana is initially upset to find out like this but pushes that down to go help make sure Brittany’s okay. Santana’s like “you could have told me, you know. I would have stayed.” And Brittany’s like “I needed to keep you as far away from this as possible. I’ve already lost someone I care about, I can’t lose the person I’m in lo- I can’t lose the person I’m in love with too.” And it’s just a sad yet mushy, romantic Brittana moment🥰

Kurt finds out because Brittany had been going to him for fashion/sewing help so she could make her diy costume. Then one night, spider girl sneaks into Kurt’s house and asks for help repairing a big tear in the costume and accidentally references something Kurt has only told Brittany before👀 He confronts her the next time they’re having a sewing lesson and Brittany blurts out everything. He almost immediately tells her that he’s making her a whole new costume because the one she made herself was so bad and he was cringing every time he saw spider girl lmao

And Quinn technically knew the whole time (she’s very observant) but never said anything until Brittany came and told her herself.

Recruitment to the avengers

So Brittany gets recruited to the Avengers shortly after the events of the first Avengers movie. She sees all the fighting and damage and decides that she has to do something, so puts on her suit and runs out. She holds her own pretty well with the og 6 and at some point (but only where just the avengers can see her) her mask gets torn and her identity is shown to them. The avengers had been keeping tabs on her for a while but never pinpointed her identity until now. Maybe Brittany also loses a couple people in the fighting, nobody she’s super close with but any loss hurts all the same. She isolates herself afterwards because she feels so guilty and won’t even talk to Santana about it. She spends almost every night on top of one of the taller nyc buildings just to sit in silence or yell or cry. Then one night, Tony tracks her down and talks to her about the life of a superhero and what that means - the good and the bad. He then formally invites her to at meeting at Avengers tower to talk about recruitment and mentions that the deal will include therapy to help her move forward and mentally survive this life🥺 He then offers to fly her back home because she’s too mentally drained to swing home safely, but instead of taking her to her place, she asks him to drop her off at Santana’s. Brittany climbs in Santana’s bedroom window, goes over to cuddle her and finally talks about her feelings over what happened with her💕

She’d have admiration for the og avengers members and maybe trains sometimes with Natasha, with mentoring from Tony, but I feel like her Marvel group would be some of the younger members.

Yelena and Brittany become really close friends. Yelena appreciates how normal being friends with Brittany makes her feel and even (once she’s warmed up a bit) asks Brittany to teach her some cheer moves and tell her all about Glee club, and she imagines that she got to be a regular high school girl with her🥺 However, it takes a long time for Yelena to get on with Santana because they can both be very similar and spend most of the time they’re in the same room insulting each other lmao

On the other hand, Kate Bishop becomes really good friends with Santana lmao They both meet in college and start hanging out/studying together and it isn’t until Santana comes to visit Brittany at Avengers tower one day that they realise another big thing they have in common lmao And Kate and Brittany have a great friendship cause I feel like they share similar vibes??

Finally, Kamala Khan is like a little sister figure to Brittany in the Avengers💕 Brittany takes her on trips to comic book shops (Santana sometimes comes with and Kamala jokes that they’re her nyc moms lmao) and will give her boy advice and how to navigate being a superpowered teen in high school. She feels like she’s taking on the role her aunt had with her and carrying on her legacy with helping guide the younger superheroes💕

*Disclaimer: I can struggle sometimes to write out long winded thoughts in a coherent way. So if most of this makes zero sense and is a grammatical mess - it’s my brains fault (adhd✌🏻) and I do apologise😅💕*

Also I’m probably never going to have the attention span to write this au out fully. So if anyone for some unknown reason gets inspired by this brainstorm specifically, pls pm me and give credit💕

[non-plutonian-druid]

Hi!!! I absolutely love your ATWQ au, I never got to read that series but I loved ASOUE so I’m intrigued!!

Would love to hear more about Klaus and Ben specifically in this AU because they are my Sons and I love them

This is such an interesting idea!!

thank youuuuu! i love ATWQ, although i do think that ASOUE is probably objectively the better series. ATWQ is just much more up my alley in terms of aesthetics! also i fucking love the art for it, which you may have observed in my repeated attempts to copy it for this au

Thank you!!! I love ATWQ. I think ASOUE is probably objectively the better series, but the aesthetics of ATWQ are so up my alley. Plus i really love the art, which you may have noticed since i keep trying to copy it for this au.

I haven't decided if they're a little older or a little younger than Five, but either way they'd be in the range of 12-14, with Klaus being maybe a year older than Ben.

In this AU, Klaus and Ben have been living together on their own in this little abandoned town for a long time. I don't think i came up with a town name, but in the books its called Stained-by-the-Sea and used to make ink, and in this au it is a town that used to manufacture umbrellas instead. Like in the books, this town was formerly fairly successful, but has fallen on hard times in recent decades and slowly been closing down ever since. At the time of this AU, it's nearly entirely dead, and most of the only people remaining are children holding down the family businesses while their parents set up new lives for them in the City. There are some adults remaining, but not very many, and not many people in general.

This got long, so I'm putting the rest of it under the cut lol

I mention all of this in the context of your question in order to show that *at the moment*, Klaus and Ben are in a pretty similar situation to many of the other children in the town; many children are unsupervised while their parents are in the process of moving. However, Klaus and Ben have been unsupervised for much much longer. They've never been precisely homeless, because there are many empty buildings, but they haven't had anyone other than themselves watching out for them for a long time.

Both of them have been taking odd jobs for the duration of their acquaintance, entry level retail jobs, and so on. They avoid the remains of the police force because if they were caught without parents or a guardian they would be sent to the City and probably separated.

They were living in this way for several years, up until... i have a specific number of months in my outline but i'm too lazy to go fact check. Lets go with "a few months" before Five arrives in town. See, a few months before, the town's old school mysteriously reopened. It had been a fancy boarding school for rich umbrella manufacturing people's kids (like some kind of... umbrella academy), until there weren't any rich people in town anymore and it closed down. Now it's reopened and it's saying that the children from the town can attend, for free!

Ben has wanted to go to school for so long. He loves reading!! The library is his favorite place!! Klaus wants absolutely nothing to do with school. He likes their life in town, where they're beholden to nobody, way better thank you. But he knows Ben really wants this. So they separate, for the first time in years. Ben *promises* he will write every day, and come back on weekends or breaks or however it is boarding schools work. There is probably much crying.

At first, it goes just like how Ben promises. He doesn't write literally every day, but more than once a week. He hasn't had a day where they're free to return to town yet, but they make plans for when he will. He's having a blast learning about science and reading books and doing math, although it's weird having rules to follow again. Although, he mentions that they have a weird amount of mandatory medical checkups, and he's caught a cold a few times from being in close proximity to a bunch of kids for the first time in while.

And then.... the letters start to have gaps. Because Ben is busy, or feeling ill or tired. He gets distracted. And then, they stop entirely. By the time Five shows up in town, Klaus hasn't gotten a letter from Ben in months.

I think most of that is a just slightly more in depth version of what I've already said about them. Here are a few other tidbits:

before he.... disappeared...., Ben had a giant and incredibly obvious crush on the new librarian, Jill. Klaus teased him about it a lot and tried to get him to send her love letters (he did not succeed in this endeavor because Ben knows when he's being played)

one of Klaus' current jobs is at a printing shop. He's using it to make missing posters for Ben.

Klaus meets Five because he is a witness for a crime that Five is investigating. Once he learns about people investigating crimes that aren't the police (and once he finishes teasing Five for having a number for a name), he asks for Five's help in figuring out what happened to Ben. This, more than the crime, is what gets the plot in motion. Ben is the main Damsel In Distress of this saga, sorry Ben

I'm thinking that one of Klaus' side jobs is being a phone psychic. I just think it would be funny

im not telling you what happened to either of their parents. One of the recurring things in ATWQ is that you never truly learn what's going on with children's parents. You are given no information other than the kids' words, and they never tell more than the absolute bare minimum. So I will not be doing that either!

[lettuceloather]

some things i never or rarely do as someone who has dealt with disordered eating for 10+ years.. and won’t. and no one will convince me to for my mental or physical health

nothing on my page are things i recommend for you to do. my entire page is a literal diary for my own record. however, these things help me not go too extreme and keep me sane.

i don’t count olive oil in my calories. i just don’t. i use the smallest amount possible to cook my food and keep it pushing. it needs to be there to cook my food, i’m not going to beat myself up about it and shame myself. at the end of the day i will still be in a massive calorie deficit with it without a splash of oil if i’m eating wisely. the numbers on the scale will continue to drop.

i dont fast for more than 24 hours. my body personally can’t handle it and i won’t put myself through it. fasting for long periods of time (purposefully or because of depression or other reasons) also has habitually caused me to begin a pattern of binging. it’s not for me.

i dont measure ingredients for basic meals. i’ve been cooking for a decade. i know what a cup looks like, i know what half a cup and a fourth look like. i also read packaging to know how many servings are supposed to be in something. if i’m doing my math correctly in my head the total number of servings should make sense :P

before my disordered eating started (maybe lol probably not), my friend whose mom most definitely had disordered eating and pushed it on her offered to cook us eggs one morning after a sleepover. she asked if i wanted cheese, measured her own cheese then proceeded to tell me i didn’t have to have mine measured. i’ll never forget this because she was trying to spare me from her habits but it felt like i wasn’t good enough to join her in being skinny and she was okay with me eating like “junk,” however, taking a measuring cup to measure anything for something so simple is bonkers to me :/ and really sad. we were like 14. as long as i’m aware of what i’m putting in my body and can mentally count and measure (i also have a photographic memory) i’m ok.

i will NEVER (be ok with) purge. it happened twice for the first time this year. i didn’t want to do it but i was so nauseous from not eating that when i went to eat something i did throw up. it’s so bad for your teeth. a lot of money was paid for my teeth. i had braces for 3 years. i have permanent metal in my mouth. i’m not trying to fuck up my teeth. it also does not help that much. i would rather work it off or wallow in self pity knowing i fucked up to not do it again.

i will never smoke. i’ve lost too many people to lung cancer. i won’t do it. it’s not worth it.

i don’t make my diet my friends problem. if we are eating out socially i will eat out or drink socially. i try my very best to do so within reason. i also do my absolute best to not binge while out. it’s important to help me maintain my friendships by just doing it and not trying to think about it too much. one meal out 1-2 times a month will not ruin me. canceling on my friends, avoiding plans, not enjoying myself while out will ruin my time with them and will make them not want to continue to see them. i like who i am when i am with them. they like who i am when i am with them. i try to keep my integrity and don’t let my mental health fuck that up, even when i’m struggling. i occasionally will go with i’m not hungry or let’s do this or whatever instead, however, i do not push if the plans are to get dinner. i just get the damn dinner.

i won’t rush progress. it’s dangerous. it’s bad for my metabolism. slow progress IS progress. i eat well below my calorie intake and still move my body. i drop a couple pounds a week. that is progress. it’s more than recommended and i’m not going to push my body to do more than that, especially at my age. my metabolism is already really fucked. it’s so much harder for me to maintain/keep weight off versus my friends.

i might add to this but i reached my ugw right after college. maintained it for a few years, pandemic hit, gained some of it back (not a lot), lost someone close to me last year and gained so much. i stepped on the scale one day and i saw the number that i initially saw at the doctor when i was a teenager when they told me i was overweight and needed to lose weight. it was really triggering then and it was really triggering now to hit that weight again.

when i reached my ugw i never realized how small i actually looked until recently. :/ everyone made comments and told me and i never believed them. i really thought i looked average.

the only thing that made me stop losing weight was being clinically underweight. that scared me.

[satellitedarling]

Right well apparently there’s a waiting list to create an AO3 account which I was not aware of oops lol. I’ll post my scribblings here for the time being I think? This feels very cringe but also being cringe is being free so in fact this feels very freeing

______________________________________________________________

Beatrice sat down in her chair facing Mae.Same old plastic chairs,same avoidant stares.

“What did you call me for?” She asks.

“We need to talk” ,answers Mae

“Mae,I run a business,practically by myself,might I add,I’m really not thrilled at the idea of spending the little free time I have constantly trying to comfort you. You’re an adult for fuck’s sake,why can’t you behave like one for once.”

Her words lacerated Mae but no reaction came from her,she never expected this to be easy,she knew it would hurt but she also knew that this was the only way to move forward.

She stood firm,looked up straight at Bea and opened her mouth in retaliation. 

“Why do you treat me the way you do?When I came back here I never expected things to turn out the way they did.We used to be such good friends,what happened?”

“What happened was that you came back to this place even more childish than you left it;you destroy everything in your path Mae,and you do it with no regard to those you hurt.”

“I – you can’t just go and say that Bea! You don’t know anything about what’s happening in my life, about what’s happening in my head!”

“Damn you and your fucking head! You had the opportunity of a lifetime, you got to go where no one in this dead end town could, you could’ve made a life for yourself out there, and you decided to give it all up because of some nostalgia? Because you missed your friends? Because living alone was too hard? Some of us don’t get the chance to sit down when we’re tired, some of us don’t get to live in our little teenage fantasies forever Mae. Why is it so hard for you to understand why I’d be jealous?”

“You’re… jealous?”

“Mae, how could I be anything but jealous? I constantly excelled in school, went to shit like math camp, put everything into my education only to end up as a nobody who runs a hardware store in a dying town all because of my mother’s death; all the while I had to come to terms with the fact that I would probably never go to college and never leave this godforsaken place. Just imagine, imagine living through all that and having to watch someone you used to know, parking lot trash, borderline criminal, doing jack with their life, getting to go to college, getting to experience life away from Possum Springs, the parties, the people, the freedom…”

Beatrice took a deep breath.

“...and then one day they just choose to throw it all away. Just. Imagine.”

“Bea– I’m– I never knew about your mother… I’m so sorry, I didn’t even think about how you would’ve felt about my decision to quit…”

“Okay, first off, you knew about my mother, I told you about it. Maybe you just didn’t think it important enough to remember. Second, of course you didn’t think about how the people around would feel about your decision, because that’s what you do Mae, you act without even taking a moment to think before you do. I can’t even begin to think about how your parents must feel.”

The words hit Mae like bricks were being thrown at her, everything that Bea was saying was correct, she did act without thinking, she did act without considering how others would feel. But she had her own side of the story to tell. Among all the morbid reality Bea was throwing her way, Mae genuinely wanted to believe that her actions and lack of judgement were not fueled solely by selfishness, that maybe, just maybe, there was something deeper that had pushed her to act as she did. She felt like she wanted to cry,like tears were ready to pour out of her eyes at any moment;her throat was aching, her fingers were sore from all the fidgeting.

But she didn’t give up, if Mae had decided to invite her friend to the party barn to talk, it was to make a change, to fix whatever had gone awry in their relationship, to be better.

“Bea… I’ve been having these recurring dreams, these dreams of ancient gods and untold tales, these dreams where I bash things into the ground, these dreams where I swing and jump to the rhythm of astral music. And right when I started having these dreams, things in my life just went wrong, everything in this world was slanted and had lost all its meaning. I couldn’t see a person as a person, only as an amalgamation of shapes. 

It’s like something inside me just broke…”

Bea was listening silently as Mae tried to explain her side of the story,she was devout to demonising Mae after everything she had done but couldn’t help but feel a sort of empathy for the teary eyed cat standing in front of her. Something deep inside her was telling her that she had maybe jumped to conclusions too soon regarding Mae’s situation…

“...And these dreams came in waves, Bea, sometimes I would have them for weeks at a time and nothing would feel real during those times, sometimes they would disappear; if just for a short while the world felt right again for a bit, like someone had pushed a lopsided picture frame to be straight again. 

Do you… do you remember the incident from six years ago? I don’t want to go into details because I’m sure you already know all about it; hell, this whole town does, but that happened during one of my dreaming phases. It was worse than usual, way, way worse. Things started out relatively normal when the softball game began, I was half there mentally but when the whistle rang everything went black and when my eyes reopened I was beating Andy senseless. You could ask me a thousand times and I wouldn’t be able to tell you how it came down to that, how my balled up fists were mercilessly landing on an innocent boy’s face.

I was sent to see Dr.Hank after the incident, he said something really vague about me anchoring myself in reality through anger. Frankly I don’t remember half the bullshit that bootleg of a doctor told me.”

Beatrice’s brow dropped,she could feel the anger leaving her body,she knew how this was going to end.

“Well, Mae, to me it just sounds like you’ve got problems, and that maybe… you needed better treatment than what Dr.Hank gave you. But um… What does this have to do with what we were discussing earlier?”

“Bea, the dreams never stopped… not after that incident, not after any fit of anger, not after the countless visits to Dr.Hank… 

I just grit my teeth and kept on living that way,trying to endure the dissociative phases with the least damage possible and making the most of my “normal” phases. I was a thrashing machine, I – I wouldn’t be surprised if my parents were secretly glad to see me leave because of all the weight I was putting on their shoulders.

When I left for college I… I really tried to make a life for myself, to not let myself get beaten by my own condition, but ultimately nothing helped, I was having my worst episodes yet and people looked less and less like actual people and more like shapes..

Shapes…  that’s the only constant in this story, everything and everyone becoming a scribble of shapes.

One thing led to another and I started isolating myself from people,refusing to face the admixtures that everyone had become. ‘Goes without saying that I stopped showing up to classes too, I lived a pathetic, miserable life. Sometimes I didn’t eat for days, sometimes I ate days worth of food in one sitting. Bea, what other choice did I have? I could only come back home. It's the only place where I could get unconditional love,care and support for my condition, where I could find my old friends, where I could try to get better before actually starting my education. At least that’s what I told myself, but we can both see how that turned out. My own mom isn’t talking to me right now and one of the few people I wanted to count on just keeps beating me down with words and making me feel guilty for the choices I had to make for my health.”

Beatrice sat shocked following the wall of information she had just listened to. Mae was counting on her? Why would Mae count on someone like her? How dare Mae count on her? Thoughts were racing in her mind, she struggled to form a coherent sentence in her own head.

“Mae, I’m… I’m so sorry. I knew you had issues but I never thought it would get that bad, I never thought it would get to a point where it would jeopardise your education and change the course of your life… I’m not sure what I should say, jumped to conclusions, and for that I can’t do anything but apologise. I was so keen on hurting you, my own shortcomings didn’t become apparent to me…”

“I think we were far too caught up in our little worlds to understand what was going on in each other’s lives, Bea, and for that I could never be angry at you, not only because you are dear to my heart but also because I was doing exactly the same. We both walked like titans and destroyed everything in our paths… it’s okay Bea, I could never hold a grudge against you. I only need to ask… do you forgive me?

Without another word being said Beatrice leapt forward and took Mae into her arms, hugging her as if to never let go, hoping this moment would last forever. 

“Mae, of course I forgive you… I’ll say it as many times as you need to hear it, I. forgive. you.

Mae could hear her friend shedding heavy tears,she hugged Bea back and held her just as tight, basking in this intimate embrace.

“I missed you BeaBea”

“I missed you too Maeday”

[wisteriasakana]

These days I'm dedicating myself almost entirely to Candy Apple, so this sort-of-devlog is dedicated to it!

Soe does devlog, an occasional release of a completely random series, episode n°43290543890

Finally the cutscene percentage has reached 73% - More than half! I consider it a huge achievement.

"What?" people who know math and normal time flow will say, "All this time just for cutscenes?". And my answer, calm and now without worries, would be: "lol nope".

The cutscene percentage has increased, yes, but that doesn't mean I worked only on those! 

In fact, we have: 

Bugs. Including a potential game breaking one; 

Fixes and improvements to previous cutscenes and puzzles; 

Gameplay balancing following initial betatesting feedback (Thanks to @time-lapse-games​!); 

More expressions for Jack and Will - And I'll probably have to do a couple for another character as well;

The entire bonus room! (Which is a bonus, of course, but you still have to do it-)

Then. 

I realized that, to avoid spoilers, I didn't say much about the game.

So, what the heck is The Night of the Candy Apple?

It's a short game that’s requiring me an absurd amount of switches and variables. There are three endings, and one of them can be achieved in three minutes of speedrun.

The core of the game is the "haunted house": there are six (... or maybe more?) puzzle rooms and you can choose whether to complete the puzzles or not. Of course, this choice has consequences.

At the moment, only two rooms are 100% complete (... or maybe more?).  Two rooms are missing the finishing touches (So we can say they're about 90% done) while the other two have most of the work to do on the game - Especially one. 

The image above is from one of the two rooms at 90%! 

Seeing what it looks like and considering the screenshot I posted in another sort-of-devlog, I think you can guess that every puzzle-room has a different aesthetic - And not necessarily something that can be found in a house. It's a magical house, isn't it? (Or "haunted"? I didn't put quotes casually!)

[microsuedemouse]

for the questions, answer every prime number <3

Oh god why would you make me think about math

Okay. Okay I got it cool

2. Describe your favourite pair of socks

My planet zap socks from Mokuyobi!! They’re bright blue with darker blue toes/heels/cuffs, and a geometric memphis-y pattern also in the darker shade. Also they’re soooo thick and comfy. I’m obsessed with all of the socks I’ve gotten from Mokuyobi actually

3. Do you like smoothies?

Hell yeah. Specifically I’m a strawberry-banana guy whenever it’s an option. Bonus points if there’s a lil orange in there

5. How do you like your eggs?

Ah! I don’t.

7. What colour dominates your closet?

lol. Lmao, even.

Uh, I think blues and greens, by dint of just being some of the most popular Colours for clothes - I avoid neutrals as much as possible. But I have a decent amount of blue denim and there’s also a lot of blue and green in my flannel collection. They also seem to be the most common non-black/white colours you can find band merch in. That said, purple is the colour I will go for most consistently when given options… also, I think it’s fair to say that my wardrobe is dominated by colour, in general. Bold/bright colours > anything else, whenever I have the choice.

11. Do you wear glasses or contacts?

I do wear glasses! Not all the time, though. I’m near-sighted, with a reeeelatively low script, so I only wear them when I’m doing something that calls for my distance vision - originally I got them for use in lectures in university, though I now always wear them for work and stuff like watching TV, too. Often when socializing, as well.

13. Do you prefer to write in pen or pencil?

Answered!

17. What’s the last thing you ordered online?

Lmao - two pairs of those novelty glasses with mirrors in them for watching TV or reading while lying down. Purchased on my dad’s behalf, as stocking stuffers for himself and my mom. (This time of year I wind up ordering a lot of stuff for my parents, because they share their banking and a lot of their online accounts, and they don’t want the other to know what they’re buying for Christmas!)

19. What’s your favourite Halloween costume from when you were a kid?

Ooooh. Okay, from childhood, definitely my Wednesday Addams costume, because I rocked that. If teen years count, though, there was a year that I went as the Cat in the Hat and my siblings were my Thing One and Thing Two, and that one was awesome.

23. What songs do you like to sing in the shower?

I don’t often sing in the shower! If I do, though, it’s just gonna be whatever’s stuck in my head at the time. Showers tend to be more of a lost-in-thought space, though.

29. Did you play with Legos as a kid? What was your favourite set?

I did, but I rarely cared about sets! I wasn’t very interested in building specific things so much as just being creative and making stuff up on the go. I did have one Harry Potter set when I was like eight or nine that I remember being fond of, but otherwise but I was happy to just dig into the mixed box of whatever-lego-we-had and start makin’ stuff.

31. What’s the last music video you watched?

I… don’t know? I actually don’t watch music videos very often haha, unless one of my top favourite bands comes out with a new one.

37. Do you mind if others are in the kitchen while you’re cooking or baking?

Literally the only way to get me cooking or baking is for someone to keep me company and help out. I hate cooking as a general rule, lol.

41. What scent is your deodorant?

Uhhh, I think it’s just called ‘fresh clean,’ or something. I prefer the mildest scent I can get my hands on.

43. Do you shower with the lights on or off?

On! Off makes me feel very anxious; I think I’m convinced I’m going to fall.

47. Do you like to go on walks?

I do, as long as I’m feeling up to the activity and the weather isn’t hostile, lol. I get very very sweaty though, and I’m out of shape in general, so I’m weird about who I’ll walk with - I hate feeling like I’m slowing people down or annoying them by stopping for breaks. So mostly that means like… my immediate family and CLOSEST closest friends, haha.

[floresyerrores]

Saw a post of how there’s this new trend of like pretty girls who were clearly obviously popular (and probably mean) in school are trying to say they are now the “weird girls” - basically like the new pick mes and it triggered me so bad.

Gave my flashbacks of my childhood and early days of middle school where I was picked on and bullied so bad. Almost forgot how bad it was cus I always looked back on it as part of my “lore” and “growth” lmao it was just a normal part of life right everyone got picked on a little right 😀

It made me into the little bad ass I am today right lol.

It was actually so fucked. I guess I always dealt with it by laughing it off but I actually was bullied so bad I had to switch schools. I didn’t *have* to but my mom became a teacher in my school district that same year while I was getting bullied and when she found out about how bad it was, she asked if I wanted to try a different middle school. My bff had to move schools and my other friends got sent to alternative school so I figured why suffer alone lol and thought a new start could be fun.

Circa 2007/2008 I went thru my early emo/scene in 7th grade (never really grew out of it tbh) and I lost all my friends from 6th grade basically since they thought I was so weird and different but I made new friends who were like me, my little weirdos ❣️

I had my little friend group, like 7 of us, we were the only emo/scene kids in our school so we were really close and would always walk together, eat lunch together etc. Some of us would get picked on worse than the others - me for example, so we always tried to travel in a pack so we wouldn’t get ganged up on.

I remember my math teacher being one of my worst bullies solely for the fact that she was my literal TEACHER and would clown me in front of the whole class and everyone would laugh at me and I would just sit there and take it because I had never experienced that before from my fellow students let alone my own teacher…

One time she asked me if me and my friend group where all dating each other and slept together 💀 we were literally 13 dude and she was asking me essentially about polyamory and orgies. Something I knew nothing about at the time. She would make fun of my friends to my face and think it was funny.

Everyone in her class shunned me and avoided me, no one wanted to sit at the desks next to me - we used to be grouped in 4 desks all facing each other and she would have to pick people to sit at the tables with me and would purposely pick the kids who hated me the most. The all thought I was the devil lmao or some satanist

I used to write in a journal and make silly little lists of random stuff like “people I love” or whatever. I was talking about my friends obviously and I wrote their names down on my “ppl i love” list and one of my close friends shared the same name as one of the girls at the table who would make fun of me. My friends name was Kristen, and the bully was named KIRSTEN. The math teacher called me up to the board to answer something (she always liked to pick on me knowing I was shy and was hated in the class) and when I got back to my desk my journal had been moved and the girl with the same name as my friend was like “omg y’all she LOVES me what do I do 😱 she’s in LOVE with me ewwww” and I just knew that they had read my journal. I felt so embarrassed and like my privacy had been invaded I wanted to cryyyy it was awful. Like bitch why would I love YOU when you obviously hate me, bully me, etc etc.

Obviously that was my fault for leaving my journal out in the open and thinking they would not read it. Tbh I think they went through my bag and found it themselves cus I knew better than to leave it out, but I’m sure they saw me writing in it all the time.

Then, when I got the big chop (cut my long, down to my back hair into a short choppy emo style cut) and went to school feeling so cute about myself, I walked into her class and sat at my assigned desk (in the front because she was cruel and hated me obv). She stood behind me during the lesson and touched my hair/back of my neck then said “oh wow they really hacked your hair huh” and kept inspecting my haircut. Everyone laughed while I silently cried at my desk. The trauma 💀

Another time she said it smelled like weed/smoke in her class and came up right behind me and sniffed me then was like, sorry you just look like the type to do that stuff. You and your…. friends. I was like no. I don’t do any of that (I was still innocent then lol)

It got to so bad to the point where my bff made me report it to our AP because she was his aide at the time and knew it was wrong of her. I used to cry and tell her all the horrible things that happened to me in her class that day. So finally after almost a whole year of her tormenting I listened to her advice and told our AP about what she would do.

She pulled me out of class the next day and tried to give me some half assed apology - said something like if anything she said to me hurt my feelings, that wasn’t her intention, she was just playing with me blah blah blah but I didn’t really care I just said its ok it’s fine cus I was always so shy and non confrontational at that point. I was honestly scared of what she was going to tell me. I had been hoping they would switch me out of her class but it never happened. They did find a sub for her class for awhile so that was a nice break from her even though I still had to deal with the bullies in her class (which she helped to create). I vaguely remember something like they sent her to some empathy training class or something but I could be wrong lol idk.

I can’t remember exactly what happened after but she was gone for awhile towards the end of the year or semester (can’t remember exactly) but she was in a car accident, her car was totaled lol (karma bitch) and she was gone for awhile. She came back with a leg cast, showed us pictures of her totaled car trying to get some sympathy lol and basically just played movies all day or let us do whatever. She told one of the students she liked that she really didn’t care what we did because she would be leaving at the end of the semester and wouldn’t be coming back to teach. Idk if it had anything to do with me reporting her but 🤷🏻‍♀️ karmaaaa

We had some students switch to our math class and this one stoner foo got seated next to me/was put in my group. This chubby Mexican guy (Chris). I called him a fat ass at lunch once cus he had skipped me in the lunch line so I was worried he was gonna be mean and would remember me but I knew he was pretty funny cus he was like “HEY I’m not fat I’m just fluffy” lol. I was also friends with his on/off gf at the time so I would talk to him about his girl problems and try to help him win her back lol. He was the onlyyyyy one who was nice to me and actually talked to me in that class when I literally felt like such a loner. He became like my bff in that class, I would share all my Japanese snacks with him and let him copy my answers lol. I will never forget him or his kindness, he also ended up being my 🍃 plug after I graduated HS up until I moved out of Texas 2 years ago lmao. Thanks Chris 🥲 he really saved me in that class because after that, the teacher never came after me or tried to clown me again. No one messed with me after that because he would always have my back if they tried to say something.

Other bullies in school would just corner me or friends or all of us whenever they got the chance and would just say mean things or ask stupid shit like “do you worship the devil” or “are you a witch” and are you all gay, etc etc. Or they would laugh at us in the hallways and make fun of our clothes. We all had to wear uniforms but ofc my friends and I went out of our way to show off our individuality and would wear skinny jeans and band tees or all black whenever we had the chance and ofc we altered our uniforms to fit our style lol. We were basically walking Hot Topic ads lmaooo. Those bullies were nothing compared to the math teacher.

Another time, on my birthday, my friends had gotten me some gifts and one friend (Justin) gifted me a Hello Kitty plush and also a Dear Daniel plushie bc he knew I loved HK 🥺 I was a little weirdo so I walked around the whole day with my plushies proudly and had a relatively nice day because of all the kind gifts. My friend (Kristen) and I were walking towards our bus at the end of the day and the buses were all lined up as usual, some kids already in their seats waiting to go. We passed by one kid in the window seat (it was open) who was taking a big sip of his bright neon orange Gatorade (I remember it so clearly) and he looked right at me and spit it out the window right at me and Kristen - it landed on me, my hair, my friend and worst of all - my brand new hello kitty and Dear Daniel plushie 😔 staining it orange and completely ruining my whole day. My friend smiled at them and kept us moving to our bus but as soon as we got to our seats on the bus I broke down crying the whole way home. Sad stuff man. The orange never washed off my plushies 💔

I wrote about it in my journal that night and I guess my mom was reading my journal during those days since she thought I was a devil child (lol jk she was just worried about me bc of how I was acting) and that’s how she found out about the bullying and decided to switch me out of that school for good after the school year ended.

Lots of other stuff I went through during that dark period of time but those are the events that I remember so vividly even 10 years later.

Good times!

All part of my lore hahaha