#I’m doing okay now
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The lesson I have learned over the last few days is that if you have lower right intestinal pains and feel like you’re gonna throw up, go see a doctor!
Thanks to my very low pain tolerance I made a fuss about it sooner rather than later and because of that my appendicitis was caught before my appendix ruptured
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I love how Gerald was trying to keep Shadow from spoiling anything about the future meanwhile literally everything Shadow says and does around Maria is the biggest death flag ever
#in fairness i’m sure both past robotniks just assumed her illness would be what killed her h a#sxsg#sxsg spoilers#sonic x shadow generations#shadow the hedgehog#maria robotnik#ark siblings#sonic#comic#my art#doodles#so this was pretty much entirely done 24 hours ago#but ironically was distracted from posting earlier by playing sxsg#and then watching snapcube play it cause her delight is addicting#i’m missing 2 chests and 2 bolts and I wanna see if I can pull it off without a guide haha#anyways now I’m thinking about the fact that maria and gerald probably went back to their time assuming maria would die of her sickness#and how that would change their respective behaviors#i bet gerald would be holding out that maria would still live a bit longer#just cause shadow inadvertently revealed he’s from at least 50 years in the future due to having met black doom before#(which rewatching cutscenes to remember this quote he Did try to play off a little bit with some sort of#‘oh what do you think the alien squid meant by ’this time i’ll beat you’ that’s so crazy’ comment)#so hey maybe it wasn’t a perfect cure but she managed to live another 10-20 years at least?#all the more reason to press harder surely!#meanwhile maria is coming to terms with her mortality at age 14 or whatever she is#frankly I bet she came to terms with it long ago the way she seems to be written#okay back to snapcube
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I’m thinking about Mahito’s great great uncle maintaining and preserving a peaceful and beautiful thing in a way that to an outside observer looks tedious and unimportant, hoping to pass the duty off to a successor but ultimately he cannot find one and dies with it.
I’m thinking about the specificity of the blocks being made and handled with care, not with malice or ill intent.
I’m thinking about Hayao Miyazaki, a bastion of beautiful 2d hand drawn animation who refuses to retire.
I’m thinking about a world where animation is so rarely made with love over profit and efficiency.
I’m thinking about how, though the old man didn’t see it, the next generation still hangs onto a piece of that beautiful, tedious thing and takes it with them because it feels important.
I’m thinking about Mahito being told he should forget, but no. He shouldn’t.
#the boy and the heron#the boy and the heron spoilers#tbath#how do you live#hayao miyazaki#studio ghibli#I love seeing a film that I can’t quite process right away and then hours later my brain is like DING DING DING PROCESSED!#fully crying actual tears right now I’m Not Okay#I hope he knows how much he means to so many people
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Vi paint study
#Arcane#arcane season 2#Vi#arcane vi#pit fighter vi#my art#my artwork#digital art#fanart#artist#yes it’s painted#no I am not mentally okay#no I don’t know how I did#although I did give the Great British government 60k to teach me how to do art like this so that probably explains it tbh#I’m 60k in debt but hey at least I can render lesbians now
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Liu Qingge comes back to find out that everyone believes Shen Qingqiu murdered him and he’s offended that anyone would think Shen Qingqiu could beat him in a fight. And, as Liu Qingge bitches people out for believing such a ridiculous tale, Shen Qingqiu is off to the side muttering about how he “could absolutely kill that brute if he wanted to.” Liu Qingge turns to him exasperated, grumpy, and annoyed and snaps, “You couldn’t even stop me from killing myself.”
#it would just be so satisfying okay?? for a reveal that sqq tried to save lqg to come out and now everyone KNOWS#I’m trying to write a completely different fic if yall couldn’t tell#I only come up with a ridiculous amount of wips all at once when I’m trying to do something else#incorrect quotes#kinda#liujiu#liushen#mxtx svsss#svsss au#sqq svsss#svsss#svsss fanfiction#svsss fic#svsss shen qingqiu#svsss shen jiu#svsss liu qingge#liu qingge#shen jiu#shen qingqiu#pidw#original shen qingqiu#mxtx hell#mxtx fandom#svsss spoilers#scumbag system#scumbag self saving system#scum villain self saving system#danmei
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[dbhc flavored] Hermit a Day May: Day 9 — Skizz!
Featuring his awful poe poe fit <3333
#LOVE ME A SKIZZLEMAN!!!!!!#hermitaday#hermitadaymay#skizzleman#skizz#dbhc#dbhc art#dbhc skizz#art escapades#something soooo so so wrong with him and I’m obsessed with him for it <333333#I was planning on doing a piece with him and scar and their uniforms but idk if I’ll finish it so#I’m getting my horrible outfit doodles out now XD#just realizing I didn’t color his buckle….. but it’s okay <3#there’s destruction to be colored#hermitcraft#hermitcraft au#hermitcraft skizzleman
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Meeting the Light Dragon ✨🐉
[tagged as spoilers!]
#do you like the color of the sky#sorry long post#anyways#everyone’s talking about ‘the theme of totk is hands’ okay yeah but have you seen the eyes??#this game is so good I’m biting my hands#I just wanted to get this one off my chest bc im tired it didn’t turn out the way I wanted but that’s okay#coloring was really fun though!#im sad now gotta draw happy stuff to cope#totk spoilers#the legend of zelda#legend of zelda#tloz#loz#tears of the kingdom#breath of the wild#totk#botw#Zelda#Nintendo#totk link#totk Zelda#totk light dragon#light dragon#totk zelink#zelink#tloz fanart#totk fanart#art#my art
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I live in Western North Carolina. I have no idea if anyone knows what is going on here. I finally have gotten sufficient enough cell service to get online.
We are never going to fully recover. Whole towns are gone. My town was flattened. My street, a few miles south of town, was spared. We had no power or running water for four days. We lost hundreds of dollars of food from our fridge and freezers. We have no internet and no idea when it will be back. I work from home. My partner works two jobs - or worked, because one probably doesn’t exist anymore. My car took minor damage from the storm. Even if we had jobs, we probably couldn’t get to them. We got really lucky.
I so far have not lost anyone. Many of my friends are displaced. Some watched their homes be swept away. Some of them lost their pets. Some of them had to dig their children out of mud.
People - not organizations, not first responders, not the government - are clearing roads, doing welfare checks, forming groups of riders to take supplies up mountains on horses and mules. Private helicopters are landing in the middle of my town to drop supplies. They are doing this all over, all day, an essential lifeline for our cut off communities. The bigger cities are getting a more organized response, especially Asheville, which was essentially cut off from incoming vehicle traffic for a few days. Thank god the airport was spared.
I lost cell service, then internet, then power, from 7:45-8:20am Friday. I had no communication until Saturday. I was able to get a few texts out. I was able to get into town. Children’s toys were in the street. Some of my favorite businesses are gone. I saw a car part way up a house.
Please, send help. I don’t know what organizations to donate to. Any time I get online is spent networking relief efforts and getting the word out about missing persons. Keeping my family updated. Applying for FEMA assistance and mortgage relief. I have heard Blue Ridge Public Radio has a list on their website.
The death toll right now stands in the 50s. It is going to end up in the hundreds.
I am so heartbroken.
#I am ‘lucky’ because I have ptsd and crisis mode is my normal#i know how to cope in these situations#most people do not#I am hurting so much for everyone#please share. please share. I have no idea if this will even post#asheville#hurricane helene#western north carolina#wnc#some of my favorite places in Asheville have been wiped off the map#I am not okay. we are not okay.#this is still so much of a crisis I can’t even think about how I’m going to pay my bills right now#we’re just taking survival one day at a time
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I’ll never forget when I was arguing with a person in favor of total prison abolition and I asked them “what about violent offenders?” And they said “Well, in a world where prisons have been abolished, we’ll have leveled the playing field and everyone will have their basic needs met, and crime won’t be as much of an issue.” And then I was like “okay. But…no. Because rich people also rape and murder, so it isn’t just a poor person thing. So what will we do about that?” And I don’t think they answered me after that. I’m ashamed to say I continued to think that the problem was that I simply didn’t understand prison abolitionists enough and that their point was right in front of me, and it would click once I finally let myself understand it. It took me a long time to realize that if something is going to make sense, it needs to make sense. If you want to turn theory into Praxis (I’m using that word right don’t correct me I’ll vomit) everyone needs to be on board, which mean it all needs to click and it needs to click fast and fucking clear. You need to turn a complex idea into something both digestible and flexible enough to be expanded upon. Every time I ask a prison abolitionist what they actually intend to do about violent crime, I get directed to a summer reading list and a BreadTuber. It’s like a sleight-of-hand trick. Where’s the answer to my question. There it is. No wait, there it is. It’s under this cup. No it isn’t. “There’s theory that can explain this better than I can.” As if most theory isn’t just a collection of essays meant to be absorbed and discussed by academics, not the average skeptic. “Read this book.” And the book won’t even answer the question. The book tells you to go ask someone else. “Oh, watch this so-and-so, she totally explains it better than me.” Why can’t you explain it at all? Why did you even bring it up if you were going to point me to someone else to give me the basics that you should probably already know? Maybe I’m just one of those crazy people who thinks that some people need to be kept away from the public for everyone’s good. Maybe that just makes me insane. Maybe not believing that pervasive systemic misogyny could be solved with a UBI and a prayer circle makes me a bad guy. But it’s not like women’s safety is a priority anyway. It’s not like there is an objective claim to be made that re-releasing violent offenders or simply not locking them up is deadly.
#I’m sorry#there are just people out here who need punishment and to be contained and rehabilitation will not work#like I’m one of the more insane people who thinks that you can rehabilitate anyone if they want to change and learn from their behavior#ANYONE#but there are people out here who do not and will not ever want it#and those people shouldn’t get a pass because you read incomplete abolitionist theory once#and now you think that a UBI would solve everything#that’s the thing about most abolitionists that I’ve noticed#once you press them on the hard shit#they go#well there are some good books on the subject#there are some other creators#okay#and what have those other books and creators said?#Tee Noir once started off a video telling people not to ask her to defend her defense of prison abolition#they should just ‘Google it’ she said (or something like that)#now I don’t watch Tee Noir#gothra#feminism#social justice#prison abolition#criminal justice#prison reform#tw vomit
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what if we made Jean and Neil kiss. on the mouth. and it was platonic. wouldn’t that be beautiful?
#they are very tolkien coded to me!!!!#redefining the meaning of kisses and platonicity in the chat rn#THEY ARE BOTH STILL QUEER OKAY DO NOT COME AT ME I WILL BITE#bi bi bi jean moreau!!!!#demi demi demi neil!!!!#i’m jus saying…#i like the idea#if misplaced forever partner why no kiss?#i have so many more pairings i feel are so tolkienish in their affection but i shall refrain for now#lest i am burnt at the stake already#aftg#all for the game#the foxhole court#the sunshine court#neil josten#jean moreau#jeaneil
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My angsty brain: So… Callum’s Dad died of some kind lung condition, eh? Sure would be a shame if that was hereditary
#listen I don’t write the parallels between Callum and Viren okay#canon does#but ooof#imagine THAT one#Callum and Rayla’s kiddo sick and dying#of a condition Callum is pretty sure he passed on somehow?#it would eat him up inside ok#soooo much angst potential#ok#I’m going to step away from my keyboard now#tdp#the dragon prince#snake boi callum#tdp spoilers#callum#tdp callum#not tagging ‘rayllum’ coz we’re doing good#not going to bring us down right now#apart from Katolis being destroyed that is#otherwise good#ignore the last few seconds of canon from the rayllum perspective#so callum doens’t know and is just a happy boy#woo got my gf and her awkward semi-nake dad#who killed my dad#but I’m cool#cool cool coool cool coool cool cool#giveusthesaga
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Another reason I dislike Les Mis adaptations that make Jean Valjean constantly openly angry/violent is because they miss that Jean Valjean is not allowed to be angry. The fact he is forbidden from expressing anger is, I argue, actually a very important part of his character in the novel!
One of the subtler political messages of the story is that some people are given freedom to express anger, while others are forced to be excessively meek and conciliatory in order to survive.
Wealthy conservatives like Monsieur Gillenormand can “fly into rages” every five minutes and have it treated as an endearing quirk. Poor characters like Fantine or Jean Valjean must be constantly polite and ingratiating to “their superiors” at all times, even in the face of mockery and violence, or else they will be subjected to punishment. If Gillenormand beats his child with a stick, it’s a silly quirk; if Fantine beats a man harassing her, she is sentenced to months in prison.
(Thenardier and Javert are interesting examples of this too. Thenardier acts superficially polite and ingratiating to his wealthy “superiors” while insulting them behind their backs. Javert, meanwhile, is completely earnest in his mindless bootlicking. But I could write an entire other post on this.)
The point is that….Jean Valjean has to be submissive and self-effacing, or he puts himself in danger. He can’t afford to be angry and make scenes, or he will be punished. The only barrier between himself and prison is his ability to be so “courteous” that no one bothers to pry into his past.
Jean Valjean is excessively polite to people, in the way that you’re excessively polite to an armed cop who pulls you over for speeding when you secretly have a few illegal grams of marijuana in the your car trunk. XD It’s politeness built on fear, is what I mean. It’s politeness built on a desperation to make a powerful person avoid looking too closely at you.
It’s politeness at gunpoint.
Jean Valjean has also spent nineteen years living in an environment where any expression of anger could be punished with severe violence. That trauma is reflected in the overly cautious reserved way he often speaks with people (even people who are kind and would never actually hurt him.)
So adaptations that have Jean Valjean boldly having shouting matches with people in public and beating cops half to death without worrying about the repercussions just make go like “???”
Because that’s part of what’s fascinating about Jean Valjean to me? On one hand, he is a genuinely kind compassionate person, who cares deeply about other people and behaves kindly out of altruism. But on the other hand, he was also “beaten into submission” by prison, and forced into adopting conciliatory bootlicking behaviors in order to survive. And it can sometimes be hard to tell when he is being kind vs. when he is being “polite” — when he is speaking and acting out of earnest compassion vs. when he is speaking and acting out of fear.
The TL;DR is that I think it’s important that even though Jean Valjean is very (justifiably) angry about the injustice that was inflicted on him, his anger is harshly policed at all times— by other people, and by himself. He has been told his anger is wrong/selfish so often that he believes it. His anger takes weirder more unhealthy forms because he has no safe outlet for it. His rage at society becomes a possessiveness towards Cosette and silent hatred of Marius, but primarily it becomes useless self-destructive constant hatred of himself. And while I might be phrasing this wrong, I think that’s what’s interesting about Jean Valjean’s relationship with anger— the way his justified fury at his own mistreatment gets warped into more and more unhealthy forms by the way he’s forced to constantly repress it.
#les mis#les mis letters#jean valjean#don’t mind me just Valjeanposting#you know I’m doing okay when I’m Valjeanposting#but yeah I can’t remember the first person who started talking about this concept with me#(it was years ago)#but now I think about it constantly#when you read the book looking through that lens#of certain charcaters being forced to act conciliatory and polite ‘under threat of violence’#you notice it constantly#it’s such a running Thing#and you could write tons of posts about it on www.tumblr.com
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Please stop telling people to die. Please stop telling people to kill themselves. For the love of everything, please stop. Don’t do that.
#the amount of awful things I have seen these past few days#guys please please please#it’s perfectly okay to dislike someone it’s perfectly okay to not support someone it’s perfectly okay if someone makes you really really#uncomfortable and angry#it’s not ever okay to tell that person to die#or tell that person to kill themslves#that is not ever okay#in any circumstance#I don’t care who the person is I don’t care what they did I don’t care how angry they make you#do not ever tell them to die#don’t ever freaking do that#my post#y’know what screw it#I’m maintagging this crap#wilbur soot#wilbur situation#shubble#this doesn’t just apply to This by the way#this applies to every situation and everyone#but it’s extra relevant right now I think
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13 y/o adrien agreste looked at his dumpster fire life and said “middle school would fix me” and he was right
#to be fair he also became a superhero which he didn’t plan and that also aided in fixing him#and to be even fairer none of it actually fixed him. but the point still stands i think#has everyone ever thought abt everything that happened to adrien when he was thirteen.#(i’ve been thinking about it)#imagine your mom dies and you’re like i have to go to public middle school right now or else i’m going to explode#what a guy. okay i have to fr do my work now#ml#anna rambles#thirteen
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in case you are in the mood to feel devastated here’s an alternate way of viewing charles’ response to edwin’s confession:
we know that charles kinda puts edwin on a pedestal- yes they are partners but there is a bit of a hierarchy between them. charles just looks up to and admires edwin in so many ways while constantly looking down on and being really hard on himself. he puts on his big happy persona because he thinks that people wouldn’t like him if they actually got to know him.
so when edwin confesses, it’s like a blow to him. he took his charming persona too far and went and tricked the most important person in the world into thinking he was worthy of love. and it’s worse because he does love edwin in that way, which is exactly why he can’t let him know that. charles still believes that he is like his dad, and he saw exactly what his parents’ relationship did to his mother.
he thinks that loving edwin in the way that he wants to would only cause more pain to this boy who has already been through far more than he deserves. so he blinks back his tears, attempts the same charming smile he’s used all these years, and dishes out the gentlest non-rejection in the history of forever
#i don’t really think this is what happened but my brain just loves to add an extra sprinkle of angst to everything#but honestly the more that i study that scene the more i think this is a possibility#at least to some extent#like specifically his facial reactions after edwin says he’s in love with him#he looks panicked and devastated#almost like it was something he thought about before and was afraid of it happening#and then he cracks his little joke to downplay it because he isn’t ready to accept that what’s really happening#because he already had to watch edwin get dragged away before he could step in to protect him and now this#his two worst nightmares became reality in hell#anyways i do think he’s just oblivious and will figure it out in season 2#but i just wanted to ramble#i do think a lot of the reason why he has to figure things out is because he’s afraid he’s a bad person#so it’s more him figuring out if he’s good enough to love edwin rather than if he actually does#okay i’m done yapping for now#dead boy detectives#payneland#charles rowland
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I’ll never get over that it took just one strangers small moment of kindness to change Xie Lians path. All of the suffering he went through, all of the despair, the disillusionment, all not forgotten or even forgiven, but reconciled. All because one person, not Hua Cheng, not family, not his ex friends, not his people, reached back to him when he’d been starting to lower his own hand in defeat. It’s possibly my favorite and most meaningful part of TGCF for me, because for me it stops being about these two guys who were meant for each other and were impossibly lucky enough to have found each other, and becomes a story about a person who had lost his way in his world so thoroughly that he lost himself, only to be found and put back on his feet by that same world that he mourned so terribly. His world stops being a concept of scale of numbers, black and white, good and bad, and becomes about the individual. What he can do to help individuals, the connections he can make with them. Their histories, their names, their faces. Inside each person is it’s own world. He’d been knocked off his pedestal, and the fall hurt to the point of breaking. But now that he’s risen to his feet, he’s able to look all these people in the eye, and they’re so much taller than he’d seen before.
#not art#bones rants#you can disagree this was just my feeling on itttt#bc I feel like we’ve all maybe been in that moment of despair where you’re at rock bottom#and someone somewhere that has no bearing on you offers a small bit of kindness for nothing more than to do it because it’s right#and that despair doesn’t retreat#but now it must make room for the hope that lives beside it#as you grow around both#okay maybe I’m projecting#to delete later
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