#I’m doing Thursday - Saturday
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First day of work tomorrow!!!!!
#excited & nervous#it’s an 8 hour shift and I’m in a chronic illness flare#and I have to go to class on Thursday and then work again Friday#so I don’t really have a day to rest until Saturday#I’m a bit worried about how I’ll feel#but I can do it
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definitely feeling overdramatic right now, but i am SO overwhelmed from the stress of that trip and everything that happened before it and everything i have going on between now and the end of the year, that i would like to not interact with a single nother person for two weeks minimum.
#irl… online… anything#i honestly think that would fix me#i just don’t wanna see ANYone#i am soooooooo unhappy#like. not to be a huge baby but i really need support rn and instead i’m supporting everybody else#i am completely at the end of my rope though#i didn’t know it was possible to be THIS done#just completely burnt out… i finally got there!#but instead i have to do fucking Thanksgiving tomorrow#and then work and do TWO programs on Friday#and then drive to North Carolina for the concert. and drive back#and it’s just like. Man.#i REALLY can’t live like this#and do you KNOW how much i still need to get done before the end of the year?????#and i’m going to another concert next Thursday#and then i have a bird walk on Friday#and a Christmas party on Saturday#and ANOTHER bird walk on Sunday#just AHHHHHH. UGH UGH UGH#and that’s not even discussing regular work and SCHOOLWORK and volunteer shit#just fuck#i’m so done#don’t wanna do anything… don’t wanna see anybody#i just want to move away and never speak to anyone again#fuck
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I work as an unpaid intern at an art gallery and the level of unprofessionalism and bullshit this woman has already pull with me on top of her attitude like. Honestly this year is showing me sometimes other people are the problem.
#like ‘texts are the most professional forms of communication not emails’#she emailed me twice at 12 and 2 am#and I told her I could do work remotely but that doesn’t mean 24/7 access#like now she’s trying to talk to me like I’m crazy#and it’s like. no. you get it together#like she’s incredibly pushy I’m only supposed to be working for her Thursday Friday and Saturday but she emailed me at 12 am on a Sunday. I#I went ahead and did the work#then she’s going off on me today. I’m over it even if it kills my art career in this city
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5 seconds from body slammjng my boss. no i wont leave the 500 dollar festival i requested time off for months in advance to work for two and a half hours. no your $25 dollar bribe doesn’t change anything. why am i working a six hour shift on the only day of the week i Dont work. im gonna kill you
#pov you’re my boss when i can’t work five days a week doing school AND another job on top of this one: but what if you did#for reference i work at taco bell monday tuesday thursday friday#i teach monday wednesday saturday#and i don’t have a full school day but i still have school#and i’d LIKE to have a social life but nooooooo#taco bell needs me to work sundays too#if she ever puts me on a sunday again i will quit#i’m working every single day until Next Sunday#and sure my teaching job isnt a long shift but it still disrupts any plans i could have because nobody wants to hangout till 6 or after 8#anyway booooo managers boooooo
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🤦🏽♀️
#I’m doing my first garage sale ever#and you guys would not believe how much stuff I’m going to have#my parents went through everything in their crawl space#I got a lot of my clothes that I don’t wear anymore#there’s soooo much clothes and toys#and I can’t even describe how many fucking stuffed animals we have 🤦🏽♀️#if anyone has done garage sales or are familiar with them#how do you price things?#I’m just going to do by table cause I don’t have the time or patience to do each individual thing#but I’m wondering#how much would you price for idk small /medium and large stuffed animals?#or beanie babies#or CLOTHES#how much would you price for kid clothes and adult pants and dresses and shirts#or fuck me I have no clue for the toys#most of them are just old and kinda antiques#nothing is like super old where it doesn’t work or is super scuzzy#and I tried to go through the clothes and got rid of any that had stains or holes etc#anyway it starts tomorrow#I’m doing Thursday - Saturday#maybe Sunday if I want to do just a free day?#just to get everything OUT#whatever doesn’t sell or anything I’ll just donate#let me fucking tell you#we have SO MUCH SHIT#maybe I’ll take a picture to show you guys when it’s all done#it was just in boxes for awhile and now that I’m actually getting it all organized I did not realize we had so much shit 😵#and today is my last day before the sale and man I’m no where near ready annnnd I have Mayas and then a family dinner….#so I have to finish it alllllll tonight after dinner 🙃 wish me luck lol#shut up rosie
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good morning dearest
#I am so happy today is Saturday <3#I am going to put my furniture on Facebook to sell today#and tidy my room#and wash my bedding#and do the dishes#if my body will allow it 😌#I love Saturdays !!!#also#just have to work until Thursday#and then I have SIX DAYS OFF#Friday I’m seeing Big Time Rush and then on Monday I’m flying to Colorado and on Tuesday#I’m seeing TWO of my fav bands and another artist I love at RED ROCKS!!!!!!!!#✨life is surreal isn’t it✨
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I’m literally leaving for Denver tomorrow, my flight takes off at 7am and I haven’t even packed anything 😂 the only thing I KNOW that I’m taking is my damn dress for this wedding. Go me 😂😂😂
I want to pretend that I’m going to be motivated enough to go for a run but god knows that running alone in Denver when I’ve never been before is absolutely not going to be a thing. My anxiety will literally never let me.
#personal#I get to see my sister tomorrow#and I have to figure out what I’m doing bc the wedding party isn’t until Saturday but I’m here literally Thursday through Monday#guess I’m going on adventures~
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Ngl I’m getting tired of people asking me about my start date for the new role im gonna be taking up soon. Like. The area isn’t done being built yet. The SECOND I know a start date I’m gonna be frolicking around my current location cheering about it, Y’ALL WILL KNOW. I WISH I had a start date but I don’t 😭
#even worse the MANAGERS are asking about it#LIKE WON’T YOU GUYS KNOW BEFORE I DO?#it’s probably gonna be by May or June. HOPEFULLY earlier?#then one person had the audacity to say they lied to me about it like no?#i literally had a meeting about everything the other week. I have the job#sorry it just pissed me off and I need to rant lmao#I know people are just excited and one of the hosts is waiting for me to leave so she can transfer into bussing#which idk why she wants that downgrade but whatevs#but trust me. I wanna get out of here I’m losing my sanity more and more each day lmao#but luckily I don’t close the rest of this week#off at 10 tonight I open the next two days#off Tuesday bc someone thankfully took my shift#then work 4-10 Wednesday and Thursday#and off Friday and Saturday#having a lil’ potluck with some friends on Friday then taking my niece to her first ever convention on Saturday!
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bath + asparagus time
#I did some cleaning and my day’s gotten slightly better#long story short I’ve had a fucking weekend lmfao#last Thursday I had a complete breakdown on my way home prompted by like the smallest comment u could think of#nevertheless it made me sob violently#like picture florence pugh in midsommar but more hysterical#on Friday I had a good day!! but it was fuckin busy man and I didn’t get around to#half of the stuff I needed to#Saturday was also busy and on the way home from work my car started SMOKING!!!! from under the hood#nothing was on fire but it freaked me the fuck out and I couldn’t get it to the mechanic until today so I had to find rides everywhere#and that was stressful#I only got like 3 or 4 hours of sleep Saturday night bc I had a (fun!!!) thing that went really late and then had to get up at 5 for work#on Sunday#so Sunday afternoon I got home and napped from 2-6pm and then just went to bed at 8 so I STILL didn’t get any shit done#and then this morning I opened again and I spent my sh#ift w people who are even newer at my job than I am so I was like training them/doing everything they couldn’t do yet and it was just#a weird day and my boss was acting weird and I didn’t like it at all#and then this afternoon I take my car to the mechanic FINALLY and he says the radiator’s busted and leaking coolant everywhere and also#one of the tires is fucked so we have to get them all replaced#and that’s gonna be several hundred dollars which is fine it’s all fine but I’m fucking tired#and when I got home there were still dishes to do😭😭😭#I need someone to baby me and clean my house#gawd#valkyrie talks
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both are accurate to how i feel about this ship and how it makes me feel
#newsies#javid#javey#two wolves#idk it just hits different#based on me and my sibling texting each other lol#I made this on Saturday and waited until javid Thursday to post this#javid thursday#yeah…#got me screaming in a good way and then giggling kicking my feet#does this post even make sense??? idk what I’m doing anymore#my stuff#my post
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i’m about to be so gODDAMN BUSY IM SO 😭😭 my manager scheduled me for four days out of the five i’ll be here for this week. i’m gonna be so tired :,) but the week after that i’ll have three shifts max and then i’m done working there so. i must persevere. plus i need money after the amount i spent in guatemala LOL
#rip me#i have the horrible sneaking suspicion i’ll be working three days in a row#first thurs + friday#no work saturday#then sunday + monday and i bet she’ll put me on tuesday as well#then no work wednesday bc i have it off#and again i bet she’ll do thursday + friday then i’m DONE#then along with that i have to finish shopping for my apt#finish my modules for orientation#meet with friends before we all move away (which is great but still makes me busy)#go to dance practices for seven#and simultaneously not lose my mind and die of anxiety hehehe#anyways it’s okay tho#HAHAHA#IM SO EXCITED AND SCARED AT THE SAME TIME GUYS I CANT#［ on : ria tries to be interesting %.
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auuudggghghhrhrhrbrr
#okay I’m feeling Bad and I need to unpick why before I’ll be able to sleep#friend is asking abt lunch on Friday when I already have standing commitment w other friends then so I can’t do that.#but I also go home on Sunday and I can’t do shit until Friday bc work and I have plans on Saturday so I just. can’t see them#which. I guess makes things easier actually that’s not something I can control and I’m not changing existing plans that’s unfair#I’m also listening to a playlist of old music (Apple Music generated favourites — so literally random picked from everything I’ve ever done#and the last few songs have made me feel Bad bc of being associated with certain times but song playing rn is definitively a good song#w a good memory attached and it’s MY song not one of my old friends#okay where are we#I’m stressed abt presentation on Thursday but also a non issue. I’m prepared. I have all day tomorrow to practice and read up more#and then it’s 20 minutes on Thursday morning I’ll be done before 10am#I am. a little frustrated on a broader scale about the role I’m currently occupying#in that w a bunch of my friends I’m having to be the one with their shit together and dealing with their Stuff.#mostly in the way that I have to be putting in extra effort to tiptoe around them and steer stuff to keep them happy#i can do it i can do it easily I’ve just tasted not having to now so it’s. noticeably different having to do it more#i do Not have the words to talk abt this in the way I want to it’s so annoying#it’s like. I know how my friend responds to stuff. I know the things that make her anxious and what her instinctual responses will be#and I’m constantly having higher level thoughts planning out how things will go it’s effortless and constant it’s just There#with everyone all the time but sometimes I use it more and sometimes I have to because I’m in a position where if I don’t we’ll get nowhere#and I don’t like that I’m having to worry abt keeping other people happy while I’m talking to my friends it removes me a layer from stuff#hrm. there are broader questions here abt the utility of this bc like. sure it helps in some situations#but this probably isn’t great long term for either of us. wild. goddamn talking to my friend abt philosophy opened new parts of my brain#anyway I cba to have those thoughts rn! it’s midnight! I’m going to bed in half an hour <3#it’s honestly unfair that I have to do anything other than be gay and play pokemon#luke.txt#uaUrghrhfhjs I’m also being insane abt a guy. which is predictable and I feel stupid abt for multiple reasons but. here we are.#I’m being insane. and maybe I should be less mean to myself but I feel like I’m being insane.#I think! I need to go to bed!#I am not being insane I am having feelings and that is allowed. feelings are typically regarded as a pretty normal thing to have.#philosophy friend is gonna be so mad at me if anything comes of this but it’s fine and if it does I think I’ll be pretty happy anyway#point is I’m doing nothing wrong and have done nothing wrong and I’m allowed to feel whatever the hell I like. okay.
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I’m finally off work for the holidays and I basically get to spend a full week with my partner and I get to see family and just rest and relax and I’m just so ready to have free time to just not be stressed out
#shhh sharkie#taking the train up on saturday and back on thursday#and then still have my regular weekend when i get back#but i’m with my partner literally all but one day of this trip#and i’ll be in nyc with them for a few days so i want to go to amnh cause there’s so much new things i want to see#and then i get to do christmas with my family and they’re coming with me and staying over for christmas morning#and my siblings and parents have been asking about what to get them#and tbh i’m still figuring out gifts (going hardcore shopping tomorrow oops) but it means a lot to me that they care to get them gifts too
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Also because I’m currently getting a lot of messages / asks with fundraisers: I’m in the middle of finals at the moment, so I will not be able to take the time to post them until next week. I absolutely will the moment I have time, but I’m pretty much studying and doing my last homework assignments 24/7.
#like I took Saturday off because I was seriously going to go off the edge if I didn’t take a day#my last test is Thursday so after that I’m washing my dorm floor and getting everything set up so I can just leave on Friday @ 8 am#because my mom was nice and scheduled a dentist appointment for me which was been on the to do list so bless
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#thank the lord I have two plans tomorrow and that my roommates are actually home#(even if we’re not friends in the slightest it’s nice to know that something else alive is in the apartment)#making the transition back to Boston less painful#but god knows the mind is being annoying#miscellaneous#the therapist has got it coming Thursday#but at least bar my no plan Saturday it’s a full week#idk I could word barf feelings of wistfulness but there’s not much to say that’s productive#I wish I could guarantee the future#I wish I could have that saftey net of knowing I was someone’s number one other than my parents#but if I think where I was three years ago when I first moved to Boston and shit man#I’ve at least come a long long way#like three years ago I didn’t even have in person friends yet#(wait four years shit wow)#so… perspective#anyway. meeting my friend for breakfast tomorrow#want to do some writing and grocery shopping after#and then in the evening I’m chatting with my friend#not too many more hours to burn tonight. and I need to unpack#AND I got a fanfic with my name on it#*slaps face*#and then in two weeks I’m back home for a month#which god will be nice#its just I wish I could take that feeling of security I get at home and transfer it to here#like it’s better than it was. it is. but it’s not perfect. which is frustrating#anyway. enough word barfing
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I’m such a stupid bitch but I love my friends
#dumb bitch (me) going to event with friend after work Monday#officially going to the concert after work tuesday#class and doctors appointment wednesday#class and work thursday#meeting on friday#loml’s bday saturday#dying on sunday#presumably#older sibling: why the fuck are you not taking your cane to the concert#me: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#i’m so fucked#and then immediately Halloween shit#oh yeah and my thursday class is doing a site visit that will involve walking#ah shit oh fuck#fever’s vibe check#feverdreamsandlucidnightmares
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