#I’m an Irish writer and am always happy to try and help anyone with Irish related questions. absolutely no promises I’ll be any use but feel

[duine-aiteach]

I would hazard a guess and say ‘ill-ee-um’ (like ilium) but I don’t know for certain.

It won’t work as that’s a name but for pronunciation of words as Gaeilge, teanglann.ie is my go-to especially since it gives you Ulster, Connaught and Munster pronunciations.

Is there a particular reason why you’re going for Uilliam specifically? Or is your story something other than contemporary fiction? Because I have to say I have never come across someone whose name is Uilliam. I know many many Liams and a quite a few Williams but no Uilliams.

I’m considering naming a character Uilliam, but I cannot for the life of me find a good pronunciation guide for it. If any Irish folks are able and would like to help, that would be lovely!

(No problem if not, of course!)

[arcturusreads]

Hi are you still accepting prompts? if you do here’s one: Hayes doing something special for Meredith’s birthday.. No pressure though take your time writing you are such a great writer💕

Celebrate - Merhayes

Thank you so much, that means the world! Hope you enjoy x

Meredith Grey had never been one to celebrate her birthday. Ellis had never bothered with birthday parties for her little girl, the day was never made a fuss out of. By the time Meredith had moved out and one to college, she didn’t see the point in celebrating it. It was only after meeting Derek that her own birthday began to have special memories attached to it. He’d pestered her for months about when her birthday was and was mortified when she at last told him and had found out that he was two months late. The date was now permanently etched into his brain and he made sure that regardless of how lowkey the celebration might be, Meredith would always celebrate another turn around the Sun. Ferry boats, dinners and long drives had become the tradition and Meredith found herself looking forward to it.

Since her husband’s passing though, Meredith had stopped bothering again. Whilst she made sure she went all out for her kids, she would stop her sisters and friends from doing anything that resembled celebration for her. Maggie had put her foot down and yelled when Meredith tried not to accept the present that’d been gifted to her though. Her kids would bake her a cake with the help of their aunt’s, with homemade cards and presents and Meredith thought it was perfect. That was all she needed for her birthday. That and a good surgery.

After six months of dating Meredith and having celebratedhis own birthday with her, Cormac was beginning to get curious as to when Meredith’s was. When he had asked her once before she just laughed it off, saying that he would have to find out himself. So, he’d een on a hunt to figure it out. It seemed that Meredith had briefed the entire hospital staff on not letting him know her birthday.

Hie’d asked both Amelia and Maggie multiple times but neither of them would let up. Amelia seemed to enjoy watching Cormac’s torture over not knowing the date whlst Maggie seemed pained that she couldn’t say anything, reminding Cormac every time he asked that she was not willing to face her sister’s wrath .

Cormac and Maggie were stoof across each other in the OR when he tried one more time. “You know, I wouldn’t let her find out that you told me…”

Maggie knew exactly what he was on about without having to ask. She just shook her head as she continued to work. “I’m the first person Meredith would come to if she found out that you knew. She knows that I’m terrible at keeping secrets. Remember when you two told me you were dating.”

It had be pure tiorture for Maggie not to say anything to anyone else. She was fit to burst with happiness for her sister but she hadn’t been allowed to say a word for three months. She’d spent way too much time ranting to Ameliia about why she wasn’t able to understand the reason that Cormac and Meredith wasnted to keep their relationship a secret. When the couple had finally told everyone, Maggie had felt a weight lift off of her shoulders and Meredith wsa pleasantly surprised at how well her sister was actually able to keep a secret.

“Why are you so desperate to know about her birthday, anyway?”

Cormac gave her a flat look, “She’s my girlfriend, Pierce. I feel like it’s something that I should know.”

“It’s not like you’re going to be able to do anything with the information. You know that she doesn’t like to celebrate.”

Cormac gave her a knowing look, “That’s because you’ve always given her an option.”

After a touch-and-go surgery, Cormac headed up to his office to grab some files before a consult. As he stepped into room, he felt shoe slid against something on the floor. Not the usual grip the carpet would give him. Looking down, he saw a small sheet of paper. As he picked it up to take it to the bin he saw some writing on it.

‘September 19th but I didn’t tell you -M’

Cormac smiled, he owed Maggie big time. Making a mental note of the date, Cormac knew it wasn’t one that he would forget anytime soon, he scrunched up the paper and tossed it into the bin. Plans began to form in his mind as he went about his day. He had two weeks and that was more than enough.

***

When September 19th rolled around, Meredith was treated to breakfast in bed courtesy of her kids with a side of birthday cake. Meredith arched a brow at the cake and looked at Amelia who just shrugged.

“It’s your birthday, you can have cake at 7am!” She defended quickly as the kids crawled up on the bed next to Meredith.

After opening her cards and presents and sending the kids off to school, Mer headed straight to the hospital. She had a whipple at 9 AM that she was looking forward and a fully booked day of surgeries after that. There was nothing more that she could have wanted for the day.

The entire day had gone by and Meredith thought it was strange that she hadn’t even caught a glimpse of her boyfriend. Even on their most busy days, they would end up finding time to at least have a coffee together but he hadn’t even messaged her. A younger Meredith would have worried that something had gone wrong, that he was angry with her for some unknown reason but these days, she was able to be a little more rational, if not completely. He must just be busy with consults and surgeries, or maybe the boys had something on that had slipped her mind when he mentioned it. Whilst Cormac didn’t know it was her birthday and she wasn’t planning on celebrating, it would have been nice to see him for a minute.

After getting changed back into her street clothes and grabbing her bag, Meredith made her way out of the hospital, ready to get home. She was a few steps away from her car when she felt a arm slip around her waist and a kiss pressed onto her temple.

“Sorry I haven’t had a chance to see you today,” Cormac’s Irish lilt immediately ebbed away any tiredness she had been feeling as she leaned into his side. “Forgot I had a meeting with Bailey this morning and then had back-to-back surgeries.”

Meredith took a second to breath in familiar scent of her boyfriend. It never failed to make her feel safe. “Was everything okay?”

“Mostly, got a 10-year-old boy in the ICU right now but Schmitt will page me if anything happens.”

Meredith suddenly realised that during the course of the conversation, Cormac had veered them away from her car. “Uh, my car is back there.”

Cormac have a light squeeze to her waist, “I know but I haven’t had a chance to see you today so let me take you home.”

“My car though…” She trailed off, not really bothering to put up a fight. Meredith had missed him wasn’t going to say no to being able to spend a little time with him on the drive home.

“I’ll pick you up tomorrow and you can take it home after your shift.”

“As long as you don’t mind…”

Cormac rolled his eyes at her, smiling, “I wouldn’t offer if I did, come on.”

As Cormac drove away from the hospital, Meredith leaned her head back against the headrest and closed her eyes for a minute. She slowly opened them as she felt Cormac’s hand rest on her thigh and gave him a smile.

“Wait, where are we going?” Meredith looked out the window to realise that this wasn’t the usual route home.

Cormac grinned at her quickly before looking back at the road, “Just thought we would take a detour.”

“A detour where?” She asked, slightly sceptical.

When Cormac didn’t reply, she decided to continue pressing for answers. “You know I have kids at home? Alone, right now?”

“Well, I know that’s a lie because I saw Winston before he left two hours ago who said he was going to your house to keep an eye on the kids.”

“Hmm…” Meredith both admired and hated how Cormac had an answer for everything. It was infuriating at the best of times but he was one of the only people she knew that could match her toe-for-toe.

After a while, Meredith saw that they were out of the city limits. “You know, if you don’t want to be with you just have to say, no need to drive me into the middle of nowhere to kill me and dump the body.”

“Oh ha ha,” Cormac laughed drily, “Like you would ever make it easy for me to kill you anyway….”

Meredith smirked at him, a wicked glint in her eye, “As long as you know.”

The car had now left the main road, and trundled along a dirt road, the only source of light coming from the headlights of the car. Meredith had no clue where they were or what was going on.

“Seriously, Cormac, where are we going?”

“Seriously, Meredith,” he jokingly mocked, “Can you be quiet?”

“Fine,” she muttered, crossing her arms over her chest.

It wasn’t later when Cormac turned the car engine off and turned to Meredith. “Come on,” he jumped out of the car and jogged over to her side to open the door.

Taking his hand to step out, she looked around. “Whe-“

“Don’t even finish that sentence,” He grinned at her, stopping Meredith before she had the chance to say anything else. “Just trust me.”

Meredith let Cormac take her hand and guide her. She wasn’t entirely sure how he could even tell where he was going in the dark.

“Are you taking me up a hill?”

Her question found no answer and all that there was left for her to do was to huff out a breath and follow Cormac. Eventually she saw some light up at the top of the hill and squinted, trying to make out what was going on. When they were finally close enough to make out what was going on, Meredith stopped in her track to take everything in. Trees were sparsely dotted around with fairy lights hanging from all of them. In the middle was a black pickup truck. The bed of it was covered with pillows and blankets with a picnic basket nested in the middle. Stretched between two trees was a canvas sheet, projected on it were the opening credits for ‘Maid in Manhattan’, one of the few movies that Meredith was able to time and time again.

“What is all this?” She turned to look at Cormac who had a sheepish look on his face.

“Happy birthday, Meredith,” his voice was a gentle whisper.

“You did this for my birthday?”

“Look, I know you don’t like celebrating it and I know you really didn’t want me to know but,” Cormac rubbed the top of his head, “You’ve survived so much, Meredith Grey, and that deserves to be celebrated. I deserve to have the chance to celebrate you. So, you can’t yell at me about this.”

Meredith stepped towards him, wrapping her arms around her neck, “How can I argue with that?” She grinned at him before pulling him in for a kiss.

[celestialdr]

My Script

So I’m posting up my script here if anyone's interested. This is for my main DR in the D:BH Universe.

It’s kinda long.

*WARNING: very self indulgent.*

Intro

My DR is set in the D:BH universe. In Detroit, 2039. I am a young Detective at the DPD.

All events that happened in my play trough of DBH happen in this reality. EG. Markus = Peaceful Revolution. Kara= Her, Alice and Luther all escape to Canada together. Connor = Becomes Deviant.

Hank and Connor become like father and son. Connor moved in with Hank after the events of DBH.

I have been working at the DPD as a detective for about a year now, I was very excited to be working alongside my dear friend Trey Greene (OC), who actually ended up being my partner. We do almost every investigation together.

During my time at the DPD I have become fast friends with Hank and Chris. Gavin is okay, we joke and banter but I wouldn’t say we are buds. I disliked his attitude towards Hank and his dislike of androids. But if he changes, who knows, maybe we can be friends. Idk.

I always supported android rights, even before there where deviants. I always treated androids with kindness and compassion.

I first met Connor on the 6th of November 2038, back before he was deviant. I was always kind to him and had a fondness for him. When Connor first saw me he stopped for a minute in a miniature awe, the stereotypical love at first sight motif. Although he did not know it at the time - him not being deviant yet. A software instability entered his program upon seeing me. In fact, anytime we made eye contact or talked he got a software instability. It baffled him.

The first time he saw me after deviating he was hit with butterflies, it didn’t take too long to realize what it was, he had a huge crush on me. He kept it to himself but Hank knew immediately.

It is now January the 8th 2039, Connor and I have become quite good friends but his feelings for me only continue to grow. We've only known each other for 2- 3 months but Connor is falling in love fast and now he's decided to finally pluck up the courage and admit his feelings to me and ask me out. How will he do this? I don’t know yet.

______

World

 After the events of DBH, Androids start getting rights, relatively quickly.

Laws are implemented to protect androids. Androids are free. They can own property, get paid for working and all of the things Markus was advocating for.

As time goes on Androids fully integrate into our society and we mostly live in peace. Hate crime of any kind is rare.

Android politicians start to pop up. Android Pride day exists. Androids can marry each other and humans. Android/Human relationships are normalised. Androids can adopt. Etc.

_______

Shifting

 1 hour - 1 day

. While I am in my DR my clone is sleeping in my CR.

. I have a Healthy attachment to my DR and I recognise the importance of my CR.

. I remember everything from both realities vividly while I'm in the other unless I script otherwise.

· I can fully trust my clone. My clone acts identical to me.

· When I shift back to my current reality time stops in my DR. The next time I go to my DR everything continues where I left off.

 · I can use the LIFA app in my DR to see what my clone is doing in CR.

· I only shift back to my CR when I want to, I can’t go back on accident.

· My safe phrase for coming back to my CR is “I want to go back to my Current Reality.” or even as simply as I make it my intention, then I can go back.

·  Nothing traumatic happens to me in my DR.

· When I come back to my CR, I will remember everything that happened in my DR.

· When I shift, I wake up in my DR bedroom.

 · When I am shifted I smell cinnamon and my eyes automatically open.

· I cannot die or get very hurt in my DR.

. I am able to fully Integrate Into my DR self’s life. e.g. Rembering my DR self’s past, feeling comfortable and normal talking to and interacting with people in my DR selfs life. Having all the skills and knowledge my DR self has.

. No one from my CR or other realities can enter my DR without my permission.

.My guardian Angel or one of my angels or guides from my DR has decided to help me shift. Whenever I try to shift in this reality the Angel assits me and pulls my CR self into My DR.

_______

About Me

I have the same name, b-day etc but I am 25 Years old.

Childhood and teen years, pretty similar to CR.

Everything is pretty much the same except added skills talents or whatever else I script.

 Physical

·  I Look like myself but 10x prettier.

·  I have my dream body, which always stays perfect and in shape. Similar to my body type only toned and fitter.

·  I have perfect, white straight teeth.

. I always have good breath.

· I always smell great - My sweat doesn’t smell.

· Low, silent gas that doesn’t smell.

· I usually smell like ‘Soap and Glory’ products.

· I have Beautiful hair that is easily maintained. My hair is also a slightly lighter blonde.

· I have my Ideal, natural eyebrows.

·  I have soft, clear skin and I am slightly tanner than in my CR. 

· I am beautiful from all angles.

· I have long eyelashes.

·  I have a straight, cute nose.

·  I always have good hygiene.

·  I never gain weight when I don’t want to, my body is always slim and never bloated.

·  If I ever get pregnant, after having my baby, my body goes quickly back to the way it looked before.

· I don’t have to shave too often.

· If I ever decide have a baby, my pregnancy will be safe and my child will be safe. It will be born happy and healthy.

· I have perfect senses.

·  I can be fully functional with little sleep.

· I have good stamina and am physically fit.

· I still have my accent. 

· I have a naturally beautiful face with and without make up.

· My make-up sits perfectly on my face and stays all day until I take it off.

· My make-up never runs.

· I always have nicely manicured nails.

·  I always look well groomed. 

Health

 · I have high pain tolerance.

· My period only lasts two days and doesn’t hurt too bad.

· I can only get pregnant if actually wanting too.

· I am always safe.

·  I am divinely protected at all times.

· I am well rested and perfectly healthy.

· I can think clearly.

· I have good mental health - maybe went through similar mental health issues when I was younger but now am perfectly healthy and able to cope.

· I do not scar.

· I heal fast.

· 𝖨 𝗐𝗂𝗅𝗅 𝗇𝗈𝗍 𝖻𝖾 too overly 𝖺𝗍𝗍����𝖼𝗁𝖾𝖽 to my DR and I will not get any trauma.

·  I eat healthy, and enjoy healthy foods.

· I drink plenty of water

·  I have balanced chakras, Good intuition and I radiate love and light.

·  I can easily communicate with angels.

Skills

·  I am a skilled detective. I know exactly what to do and I have all required skills.

·  I am an excellent shot.

·  I have excellent fighting and self-defence skills.

· I have high intelligence.

· I'm never badly hurt in the line of duty. Extremely lucky (like domino in dp2.) If I ever get hurt in DR its only minor. No one is suspicious about it.

·  I'm a good writer.

· My art skills are always better in my DR than in CR.

· I have a good memory and deduction skills. Good reasoning skills.

· I am socially confident and charismatic.

· I am an excellent speaker.

· I am good at reading people.

· I give good advice.

· I am a good friend.

· I am a great kisser and fantastic in bed.

· I am hard working and have lots of patience.

· I'm a great singer and can play piano, guitar.  

·  I know French and Irish.

·  I know how to drive.

· I'm really good at make-up.

·  I'm really funny.

·  People easily trust me.

Life

· I have all knowledge my CR self has.

· I had a relatively easy life.

· I come from a wealthy family.

· I am always full of motivation and energy.

·  I have an amazing closet full of clothes, including both new clothes and my CR self's clothes.

· I have all of my current realities belongings. (Well, the stuff that I want with me.)

· I have a ton of art supplies.

· I live in my own house which I can afford with ease.

· I have a cute golden retriever called Bailey who is okay alone in the house while I'm at work.

· Bailey is a year old and is fully trained.

· I have a nice car that is self-driving.

· I have a good phone with the LIFA app

·  I get to travel to cool places on holidays/vacation.

· While I'm in my DR I don’t confuse my CR's past with my DR's.

· All my fave shows, music, movies are also in my DR.

· I have lots of friends and make friends easily.

· I remember my past in the DR and can reference it with ease.

· I never have to kill as a detective, I can always disarm or find another solution.

· I won't get fired from my job.

· I'm good at my job and I know how to do my job well.

· Trey is my partner and our desks are beside each other.

·  I'm also friends with Chris and Hank.

·  My friends are always there for me. My friends care about me.

·  Money comes to me easily and effortlessly.

·  I am a really great at manifesting what I want in my DR.

·  People I don’t want to, won’t die or get very hurt.

·  People from my DR never notice if I'm not there because when I’m not there, my clone takes my place. (Although I probably won't use my clone too often because I plan to pick up where I left off most of the time.)

·  I know all passcodes and important numbers of my DR self's life. E.g. Passwords, phone numbers, etc.

·I have a Spotify/ (or whatever the equivalent to it is in this reality) filled with music that I like. Maybe some of the playlists that I have in CR.

· I'm quick at picking up skills.

· If I ever decide to change career in my DR, I can do so with ease and get whatever job I want.

·   I have nice, tidy handwriting.

Family

I come from a wealthy family. We moved from N.I. to America - Detroit in 2025. (Moved Because dad was offered a great job.) *family all have our green cards.*

Family is friends with Carl Manfred.

A very loving, healthy and supportive family.

* In my actual script I go into more detail about my family. but i’ll give you a brief rundown. I chose to shift to a reality with a different family from my CR family because I thought if I had a different family and friends it will give me more of a reason to come back to my CR. So I can have balance? idk...*  

My DR dads name is Patrick, DR mums name is Mary and my DR brothers name is Lucas.

Family support and are okay with my relationship with Connor because they recognise androids as living beings.

Last but Not least! Bailey!

Bailey is my one year old Golden retriever. She is very well trained and is an absolute angel. She also really loves Connor.

House

I live in a 1 bedroom, 1 bath house with Bailey. *In my actual script I stuck in a bunch of pictures of a house I built in the sims 4.*

Friends

So, I'm not going to go through all the friends I scripted on here but I’ll tell you about my best friend from my DR. My partner from work, Trey Greene. He’s 27, a leo (like me) and gay. (I honestly made my entire friend group LGBTQ+ LOL)

I may have also scripted that jenna marbles is there and shes my friend lol.

Connor

*Okay now to the real reason I'm shifting, the love of my life.*

Connor falls in love with me the moment he sees me. Although he may not understand what it is at first because he hasn’t deviated yet. When he fully deviates he realises his feelings. He's a little shy about it at first but eventually asks me out. We date and fall in love and end up in a loving healthy relationship. We respect each other's boundaries and are completely in love. Like stereotypical soulmates.

 Connor is very romantic and affectionate. Literally like a prince charming.

 When we get together we are in a healthy relationship and both of us are completely faithful. I can trust Connor fully because I know he is trust worthy and always has my best intentions at heart.

 . We have similar love languages.

.  Connor is super-duper romantic and calls me sweet names like "My love."

. Much Like me in this DR, Connor is completely protected and safe with extremely good luck.

After the events of DBH and Connor is deviant. Amanda and cyberlife no longer have any control over him.

 NSFW warning - Skip to Lifa if your not comfy.

Connor's model was created fully equipped with regular male genitalia (which is about 7 inches.)

He is very vocal in bed and is great at dirty talk. He can do loving romantic sex and also kinky rough sex too.

 Lifa

Lifa is an app on my smart phone that only I have access to. Others don’t notice it. (like hidden in plain sight.)

 It can only be noticed by others if I decide I want to show it to someone.

 Lifa allows me to script while in my WR. It also allows me to see myself in CR.

Lifa updates me when its nearly time for me to wake up or reminds me when. As if it's like a timer.

 Lifa doesn’t require internet. It has maps on it. I can look at my money and add to my money if I so wish. (if I add money it doesn’t ruin the economy.) idk magic lol

 I can also access in online on a computer or tablet or any device that carries the internet.

 No one else can use it unless I specifically allow it.

 I will be alerted by this app if my clone wakes up.

 I always have my phone near me. I can never lose it. Its also always fully charged.

 If I get a new phone. Lifa automatically downloads on it and deletes off the old phone.

MISC.

· When androids deviate they are able to feel pleasure, touch, etc.

· Androids actually do have souls and are actually a new life form.

· After revolution CyberLife starts to create things for androids like upgrades. E.G. Taste, ability to do almost everything humans can.

 · Most people are environmentally conscious.

· The earth is healing and people are taking better care of the planet. A lot more environmentally conscious options.

·  The ocean, air, atmosphere and earth are all 70% cleaner than in CR.

·  Racism, homophobia, sexism are quite rare. Ultimately society frowns upon such things.

·   Humans and Androids live in peace

· Shortly after the revolution, Kamski got repointed as CEO of Cyberlife. Cyberlife now focusing on the needs of Androids and helping them adjust into the world.

·  Youtube still exists and is relevant.

·   Bagel Bean and Boojum exist in Detroit and aren't too far from my home. (These are food places back at where I'm from that are bomb.)

·  No crisis with bees.

. The Police and justice system are reformed.

·   No threats of ww3.

·  I don’t live too far from work.

·  All the videogames I like still exist, (except for dbh obvs.)

· We can buy Cadburys and Pujana tea in America. (Things I like in the UK.)

• Food in US is similar to food in UK. e.g. same food laws and food that is actual tasty / healthy. LOL 

(sorry, I've been to America and the food there tastes weird, man.)

Future

Now that the androids have rights, Cyberlife has to free all active Androids. Eventually they get around to RK900. Cyberlife only created one RK900 as a prototype before the revolution.

The RK900 goes by the name Nines. He ends up working in the DPD. (Months later.)  It takes a while for Nines to deviate but he eventually does. Nines is rather stoic but he is nice. Him and Connor have a brotherly bond. Nines becomes friends with me, Connor, Hank and Trey. (Part of our little found family.)

 In the future, when Connor and I are both ready we get married and have kids (either through adoption or sperm donation or maybe they find a way for androids to have kids in the future, idk?)

 In the future me and Connor buy our dream house together.

--

So, Yeah that's what I've scripted so far. I keep one script on my PC and one in a notebook under my bed. 

Feel free to use any ideas or concepts from my script 

[bondsmagii]

I was tagged by @the1975bi​... thank you it’s day 5 of quarantine and I’m going crazy

I am tagging literally everyone who sees this like if you’re bored in quarantine and want to waste some time please go ahead

1: are you named after anyone? nope. my parents literally pulled my name out of a hat, which was truly a good clue as to how much effort they put into raising me. 2: when was the last time you cried? it was maybe a week or so ago when Requin showed me some new pictures of Oliver the cat I hadn’t seen before. for the uninitiated. specifically it was this picture that did it.

tears were streaming down my face and I gave myself a headache I laughed so hard. even looking at this image now is killing me. just. look.

3: do you have kids? I do not. I don’t plan on having them, either, unless you count the menagerie of pets named after fictional characters I’m planning on getting. 4: do you use sarcasm a lot? oh yeah. enough that it would make me a wonderful morally grey love interest in a young adult novel, and enough that it’ll probably get me punched in real life one day. 5: what’s the first thing you notice about people? clothing, probably. I love looking at people’s styles and trying to work out what they might be trying to say with it. 6: what’s your eye colour? green, baby! with partial heterochromia -- a ring around my pupil is brown. 7: scary movie or happy ending? scary movies hands down I love everything creepy 8: any special talents? this sounds wack but I can find lost objects by tuning into them. if I know what the object looks like/get a description of it, and it’s in the area, I can visualise it and I get a strange kind of pull towards it. I don’t even know how to describe it; it’s like the object radiates out some kind of presence and I can tune into it and narrow it down until I walk right up to it. I can use this to find something in a building or surrounding area, or if I get no reading I can say that it’s definitely not in the area (meaning it’s probably been left somewhere). strangely, if the object is on someone’s person (forgotten in a pocket, for example) I can’t sense it, so if I get no reading at all I always ask the person who’s requested I help to check their pockets again. the object is always there. I have found things in the most unlikely places using this talent -- there are some things that we would have never found if not for this. it’s pretty cool. 9: what country were you born in? England :/ but we were there for like two weeks before we moved to Germany and then from there to Ireland. I am actually Irish and my place of birth was a closely guarded secret in school.  10: what are your hobbies? reading, writing, cooking, urbexing, watching bullshit on YouTube, learning languages, learning in general, falling down various internet rabbit holes, blood magic and chaos. 11: do you have any pets? unfortunately not :( 12: what sports do you play/have you played? I don’t actually know what sports is. I was a gymnast when I was younger. 13: how tall are you?   around 6′0. I am still getting used to this. 14: favourite subject(s) in school? high school: history, art, music, psychology uni: modern gothic, linguistics, computer science 15: dream job? writer & eccentric academic/uni professor

[francesderwent]

part one: August Rush and JPII’s Original Experiences 

The thing you need to know going into August Rush is that it is not a sentimental film.  It’s not about fuzzy feelings, unmoored from reality.  It’s not telling you to put a happy face on what is essentially an unredeemable situation.  It’s not even saying that if you hope long enough that your whole life can be transformed.  No, what August Rush is doing is actually much more exceptional than that.  August Rush says: your deepest desires, your impossible hopes – they have all been real all along.  You don’t have to wait for your desire for love and belonging to be fulfilled sometime in a distant future – you have been loved all along, and any fulfilment or transformation will also be at the same time a return and a recovery. 

You do come from love.  Love is speaking to you, all the time.  And you can become a part of the conversation.  

It’s not a sentimental film, because it makes the claim that fuzzy feelings aren’t fuzzy at all – they’re more real than suffering, more real than despair.  It’s not trying to give you a merely emotional catharsis – it’s trying to make you glimpse something of reality.  It’s no less profound because the reality it’s presenting is beautiful rather than ugly – in fact, I think it’s more profound.  

I view the film through the lens of Pope Saint John Paul II’s theology of the body – I don’t know if the writers specifically had that in mind, but they certainly had Christianity in mind.  At any rate, I think theology of the body gives us some helpful terminology with which to approach the movie.  

Lyla Novacek and Louis Connelly are both musicians. Lyla is a Juilliard-educated classical cellist; Louis is a songwriter, guitarist, and frontman for an Irish punk-rock band.  The film shows us Lyla playing with the philharmonic in a pristine white dress, and Louis wailing his lyrics in a crowded, smoky club, but their music intertwines.  They’re playing in completely different styles, but the difference is complementary. Before they’ve ever met, the language each of them speaks is capable of being spoken together, to and with one another.

They meet on a roof at a party in New York, both of them having heard the same harmonica tune on the street below. Louis encourages Lyla to come up and sit with him to listen; she does.  He tells her when he was a boy, he used to talk to the moon.  She laughs and asks him if he’s making it up, and then asks if the moon ever talked back.  “It used to,” he says, “but now I end up just talking to myself, like a loon.”  There’s a prior relationality to something transcendent before they ever met – Louis wasn’t wholly alone before he met her.  His solitude was always reaching out to converse with something beyond him.  She is not his first or his primary companion – but something about adulthood has broken his connection with the transcendent, and so he feels alone.  Original solitude, our being created in an immediate relationship to God, can feel a lot like loneliness, after the Fall.  

Louis asks, “So what’s your story, Lyla?”  She falters, answers simply, “I don’t know, I’m just me.”  She can’t explain herself or her story; we don’t fully find ourselves except in a gift of self, and she hasn’t had occasion to make one yet, so she’s alone just as he is.  So when Louis stares at her and she asks, “What are you looking at?”, and he answers just as simply, “You,” she experiences this as something very profound.  She was opaque to herself – but he can see her and know her, her appearance speaks to him.  There is nothing frightening, nothing degrading in it –she trusts him implicitly with her self-revelation.  There are no walls up, but she’s not ashamed – her being seen in the body is experienced as a means of love and not an obstacle: original nakedness.

And so, caught up in the moment and enraptured by the beautiful glimpse of each other’s true humanity, they try to reach for what they’re feeling and make it into a reality.  They’ve seen something in each other, something that’s true and something that they recognize as revealing them to themselves, and so they take that to be the whole.  They imagine that having loved the other that they’ve seen, they love the other totally.  He thinks he’s seen all of her, and can receive all of her and give her all of himself in return.  She thinks she’s the answer to his loneliness, that she can receive his gift and fulfil him with her own gift.  In short, they think that their falling in love has already bound them together in the perfect unity that their hearts long for.

They’re wrong.  When they wake up the next morning, Louis’s brother is deriding his sentimentality, and Lyla remembers she has to meet her father, and flees.  Louis calls after her to meet him at the arch at ten, begs her to say yes, and she smiles at him – “I’ll take that as a yes!” he calls, beaming, and she smiles back.  But the language of the body doesn’t, on its own, make a vow.  She didn’t say yes, and she hasn’t promised herself to him.  And when her father bullies her into the car, she goes, giving only a look of regret to Louis, waving at her from across the street.

“What am I going to do now?” Louis asks his brother in anguish.  He’s haunted by the abandoned unity, by the unfulfilled nature of the gift.  He writes a song, “This Time”, about how he feels cut off from life because he keeps returning to that moment with her, and how he wonders if he could ever leave the moment behind, get her off his mind forever.  But he doesn’t know how – and he stops in the middle of the song at a show, and quits the band.  The only way he can find to escape the moment is to close himself off to music altogether, and cut himself off from his brother as well.  He takes an office job in San Francisco, gets a girlfriend, and doesn’t stay in touch with anyone from his old life.  He turns back to an isolation more complete and more hopeless than it ever was before.  

Lyla, on the other hand, isn’t trapped by the single experience of their moment together – because, she discovers, she’s pregnant.  Her relationship with Louis is relativized for her, it takes on a new and definitive importance as it relates to her relationship to the child she carries.  Clearly she remembers Louis, but their imperfect gift has miraculously found a kind of fulfilment greater than she ever intended or hoped, and so she isn’t haunted, isn’t lost, isn’t tempted by isolation.  Her father, however, can only see the child as a threat, and has only derision for the love which brought the child into being.  He’s speaking ill of Louis when Lyla walks out on him in frustration, and then she’s hit by a car.  When she wakes up, her father tells her that her son is gone – but what she doesn’t know is that her father forged her signature, handing her child over to the state.  There was no room in her father’s love for anyone else, or even for Lyla’s own freedom, only what he himself wanted and thought was right.  Broken by the loss, Lyla, too, turns away from her music.  There was no fulfilment; the love she had was torn from her.

The film is honest, then, about the pain of an unfulfilled gift, a premature love taken to be more than it is.  But – and this is important – it doesn’t wholly dismiss the impulse behind it.  Louis and Lyla found that vulnerability is a risk, and so they both cut themselves off from the desire, the intent listening that opened them up to each other.  And this is a mistake.  

Which brings us to our main character: Evan Taylor, named by the state, having spent the last eleven years of his life in a group home.  Evan hears music, all around him.  He says he likes to believe that it came from his parents, that maybe it was what they heard the night they met – and that maybe, if he can learn to play the music, they’ll hear it, and they’ll find him.  We, the audience, know that it was music which brought his parents together – and yet, we can’t help but doubt that Evan’s participation in it will draw them all back together again.  Their brief union was too imperfect from the start, and they have strayed too far since. But Evan is not shaken by the world’s doubt – the music is real to him, the things it speaks to him more true than the taunts his peers throw at him.  He feels in his very existence that his parents loved each other and that they love him.  He knows that his abandonment, his loneliness is not the way things were meant to be.  His parents were disillusioned, cast out of the proverbial garden – but Evan still has access, through the music, to the original impulse that brought them together.  

/ part two here /

[disappearinginq]

Tag Game

Tag Game

I was tagged by both @amandagaelic and @waitingforthestarstofall

1. What was the last movie you watched in theaters? I think...either Little Women or Knives Out (for the second time). 

2. What’s your favorite game to play? One that I call Murder Mansion, but I think is actually called Betrayal at House on the Hill or one called Bang! - mostly because it was the most hilarious introduction to a game I have ever had where I got to play a trigger happy unlimited round packing Sheriff who everyone was trying to kill and my besties from the dawn of time were in fact my loyal deputies. 

3. Chocolate or vanilla? Vanilla, if I must only pick between those two.

4. What’s the last show you binge-watched? Yellowstone or Locke & Key

5. Do you have any pets? Oh dear. Yes. Three cats, two horses, and three dogs (though technically I might own a third horse, who knows at this point?).  

6. What’s your favorite fairy tale? Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves. 

7. Who’s your favorite superhero? Batman - not the one that they keep portraying as an abusive asshole like Howard Stark, but the one who legit went to court to keep Jason Todd as his son and dipped out from being Batman and Bruce Wayne social obligations when Jason needed him and collected orphans and tried to make sure they wouldn’t turn out like him. 

8. Who’s you favorite Disney Princess? Pocahontas or Tiger Lily probably, though I was never really a fan of the princess movies. I liked Treasure Planet and Great Mouse Detective where there were zero romantic subplots or princesses. 

9. Where’s the first place you’re going to go after the social distancing is over? ALASKA. BECAUSE THAT WAS THE PLAN BEFORE THIS HYAH! SHITSHOW! 

10. Cookies or Cake? Cookies. I am weirdly not a fan of cake. 

+ 10 questions from @teenwolf-theoriginals:

1. which show could you watch over and over? Lucifer, Daredevil (and add-ons), Republic of Doyle

2. favourite song lyric? " I choose my eyes wide open/And my heart half-broken every time/Over the gilded golden shackle/And the reassuring sentimental lie.”

3. favourite season of your favourite tv show? Lucifer season 4, Daredevil Season 1, and...whatever season ends with Jake Doyle getting kidnapped and locked unconscious in a shipping container bound for Mexico

4. what never fails to make you smile/happy? Cirque De Sewer videos on Facebook (ren fair comedy show with cats and rats and a former ballerina). 

5. how are you doing with all that’s going on in the world (virus, having to do social distancing, etc)? I feel really weird saying this, but the quarantine is working out freakishly well for me. My sister, who hasn’t lived nearby since 2010, came to visit for our mom’s 70th birthday just before the travel ban, so she’s been here for a little over 2 weeks now, which is the most I have seen her in 10 years. We live in a small town on a farm, so I have a lot to keep me busy outdoors without having to go to public outdoor places. My job is 100% capable of being 100% remote, we always buy from the warehouses when we have coupons so we have plenty of food and paper goods, we have puzzles out the wazoo to keep us busy when the weather is bad, we have a huge garden every year so if this keeps up we’ll have all our own food and eleventy billion movies and crochet projects, etc. I’m also a hella hermit normally, so this is not really all that new. Little mad I can’t go help a friend paint their house, but eh. Small price compared to a lot of others.  

6. we all love new music to listen to, name an artist that is underrated/you think people should check out? Janet Devlin. Irish/English folk singer I found on Spotify. 

7. tv show or movie? TV show. I love the level of character development that can happen when given the opportunity. 

8. favourite holiday? Thanksgiving. All the food. And less work than Fourth of July, because July means I get roped into directing the town parade and half a dozen other things because my parents get me to. 

9. a song that describes you? “Psycho” by Ava Max. 

10. describe your tumblr in three words? Themed = for chumps.

+5 questions from @macspaperclips

1. What is your favorite hobby? Crocheting, or writing

2. What is your favorite book? Or/and a really good book you’ve read recently? Six of Crows duology - a heist series that I got sucked into thanks to fan art and then finding out the main male lead can’t stand human touch and I was like SOLD. 

3. What is your favorite Ship that will never happen (Or hasn’t happened yet)? Not a shipper. I hate ships, because inevitably, ship wars ruin everything. And in some cases, really make me question sanity or mental health of some people. Said I didn’t like a female romantic lead, next thing I get is death threats, and I am totally the type to back track a URL, hunt you down in the real world, and brain you with a hammer. It’s not good for my anger management. 

4. If you could spend the day with any living celebrity, who would it be?  Harrison Ford, because it would be on his ranch in Jackson Hole. 

5. The best worst movie you’ve ever seen. A movie that you know objectively is trash but you can’t help but really enjoy it. The new Robin Hood with Taron Edgerton, or the Four Musketeers.

My questions (answer these if you’re tagged, then come up with some questions of your own, and then tag people):

1) What is your MBTI and/or Enneagram Number? MBTI - I had to look this up - INFJ or ENFJ, depending on how you want to interpret that first letter. 

2) What TV episode is your all-time favorite? The Hay Burner on Bonanza, 

3) What does happiness mean to you? Lack of desire

and tagged on because I was in fact tagged by two people @amandagaelicquestions: 

1) If you’re a fic writer, do you reply to every review? And if so, how long do you wait? I have only recently started getting over my weird phobia of responding to reviews (I also am rather new to AO3 and it was a little hard or impossible to do in FFN.net), so some stories in the smaller fandoms like Magnum, I have tried to respond to all of them, and it takes anywhere from a day to a month, but in Lucifer...oh dear. It’s daunting, and I keep freaking out because I haven’t finished the behemoth that is Damnatio despite it being years, so I don’t want to respond back to everyone saying “I HAVE NO IDEA WHEN I AM FINISHING THIS” in between severe writers’ block. 

2) What color Starburst is the best? Of the original? Pink. Of the options of outward packaging? Blue. 

3) Skittles or M&Ms? M&M’s

4) If you were to learn any new language, which one would you choose and why? Bold of you to assume I would learn only one. I am actually taking...four lessons through Duolingo? Irish, Welsh, Spanish, and Hawaiian (Was learning Navajo, but I made it to food and WTF....nope, kicked my ass). 

My questions: 

If you could be anything else, what would you be? 

If you’re a fic writer, what would you guilty pleasure fic idea that you won’t write because you don’t think anyone else would read it?

Is there something you wish you knew more about, and if so, what is it?

tagging: @dragonnan, @rohanrider3, @sofasurf, @buckky, @ariaadagio, @get-whumped, @itsjustdg 

If you’re busy or otherwise not feeling it - as always, feel free not to play. If you weren’t tagged, I also mean you. You can come play too. 

[youknowmymethods]

Content Creator Interview #11

Hello folks and happy Friday! We’re back, and this time @likingthistoomuch interviews @ohaine (aka, me) so I’m jumping straight into the interview because it’s awkward af to introduce yourself.

Trigger warnings: here be brief discussions of grief and mourning, and because it’s me, there’s also some bad language. Sorry.

OhAine: She arts, she fics, now you can add witty limericks to her repertoire for she is truly an accomplished young lady; because when the question of how to introduce me for this interview came up likingthistoomuch chose to write a poem.

It goes like this:

 She is smart

She has sass

Thinks her writing isn’t good

Someone get her head outta her ass.

 Charming. And as that isn’t massively helpful to anyone reading, I’ll flesh it out a bit for you. My name is Áine (yes, my pseud is that imaginative), I’m Irish, married to a tall, curly haired Brit (no, not *that* tall, curly haired Brit). I’m a professional doer of double entry (that means I’m an accountant not a p0rn star, get your dirty minds out of the gutter), an amateur writer who is obsessed with Sherlock and Sherlolly to a point that isn’t dignified. I’m the mod of this interview project, and also of the MaybeItsJustMyType Collection on AO3, a double SAMFA winner (yay me!) and I also won a Community Games gold medal when I was eight ( @hobbitsdoitbetter will know what that is, but she’s literally the only one of you who will) for a picture I drew in crayon of a cat jumping over a skipping rope (although if I’m honest I think everyone who entered the competition got a prize so I really don’t know if I should brag too much about it.) Currently I’m in the market for someone who’ll do a better job of my eulogy than I’ve done with this intro, so maybe it’s best if I stop talking now and we just move along with the questions… Ahem… Gee it’s back to you.

 likingthistoomuch: I’m going to start with Kat (aka satin_doll, aka @ashockinglackofsatin) who’s submitted a few reader questions if you’re ready.

 OhAine: Sure. Shoot.

 satin_doll: The Fate of Glass is one of the most beautiful and touching stories I’ve ever read dealing with grief and the aftermath of the death of a character. It also illustrates perfectly Molly’s relationship with Sherlock from her side. We know you were dealing with your own loss when this was written. How much of your writing springs from your own real life emotional experiences?

 OhAine: Well first, thank you dear heart. It’s a tricky question to answer because The Fate of Glass is unique for me. I wrote it and ‘Where the Lost Things Go’ in the same two week period, at a time when I was really struggling to accept what had happened to Kieren. Funnily enough, Gee (likingthistoomuch) and I were talking only a few weeks ago, and I told her this: for the only time I can ever remember doing, I put my words into Sherlock’s mouth. The bit where they’re sitting on the floor, smoking and talking about Mrs H, where Sherlock finally says what’s on his mind – that he’d failed her – was exactly what I felt at that moment about Kiki’s death. I drew on something deeply personal in a way I hadn’t done since ‘Take me and erase me’ and the death of Molly and Sherlock’s son. Initially that story was me working through my feelings and grief, but after the first draft I had to abandon that agenda and remember that this was about Sherlock and Molly now. The real life experience of survivor’s guilt, of losing someone you love was there, but oddly Molly’s rebuttal to Sherlock’s assertions about blame were very much me too, they came from my father’s loss, and that reconciling a terrible end with a life well lived and full of love. Of all my stories, it’s the closest to describing my actual experience in a given context.

 I suppose in the first instance, what you write has be honest, authentic. That doesn’t mean that it has to come from your experience directly, but if you have the framework there for something that you want to say, then you use it. There are small bits of me in all of my stories, but I can’t rely on my own emotional experiences too heavily because then I’m limiting the characters. What I’ve found you can do is take the essence of an emotion, distil it down to its component parts and feelings, and then apply them to a different situation. Your job when writing a story is to tell someone else’s story, so you have to be able to extrapolate beyond your own experiences. But if you can ground that in something real, it somehow gives it a ring of truth that wouldn’t otherwise be there.

 satin_doll: Amor Vincit Omnia is quite simply devastatingly beautiful, despite the pain that runs through it from beginning to end. You’re so adept at writing Molly’s steadfastness and loyalty despite Sherlock’s rough treatment of her over the years and it seems to be a recurrent theme in your stories. Can you talk a little about where this picture of Molly comes from, how she developed as a character in your head?

 OhAine: We get so little of Molly on screen, and in a way that’s a blessing: we have so much room for interpretation, so many directions we can take her in, you know? But something Mofftiss have gone to pains to point out is that not only is Molly loyal to the bone, but that Sherlock trusts her loyalty in a way that he doesn’t trust anyone else’s.

 You have to be careful how you allow her to give that loyalty, it can’t be done in a way that demeans her, or would make her bitter. In order for that not to happen you have to imagine why someone would give so much in the face of – what you termed – rough treatment. I’ve come to the conclusion that although she’s sometimes hurt by it, impatient with it, she views his actions not as intentional, but rather as him simply not knowing how to do things any differently. He’s ever so gentle with her in TEH, when no one else is around to see, and that episode informs so much of what I imagine their between-the-scenes life to be like: he shows respect for her, love, affection, he respects her mind, her opinions, he is eternally grateful for all that she has done for him, and grateful that despite everything he’s done she still allows him to call her friend.

 Sherlock asks in TRF, ‘If I wasn’t everything you think I am, everything that I think I am, would you still want to help me?’ and Molly doesn’t hesitate, she’s straight in with ‘What do you need?’ She has zero doubts about the man that he is.

 Earlier in that episode she says, ‘You’re a bit like my dad,’ going on to tell Sherlock about how her dad behaved when he was dying, and I think that’s a very under rated line. I think it shows that to Molly he’s more than – what other’s call him – the great detective, machine, freak. It shows she sees the man beneath. She sees that he is more than the sum of his parts. She’s telling him that she sees his humanity.

 She doesn’t want to change him into someone he’s not. She sees deeper, she sees the bits of him that he guards, the parts of him that are just like you and me. Molly’s not blinded by his brilliance. To her he’s just a man, albeit one who has a very special gift.

 Even when she says ‘Why do you always say such horrible things?’ she’s not treating him like a bold puppy and smacking him on the nose with a rolled up newspaper like the others do, she’s attempting to understand him, perhaps even asking him to try to understand himself.

 He’s a very vulnerable man, and she treats him with care because of that. His actions weigh on her I think, they have a cost, but it’s one she chooses to accept and she doesn’t punish him for her choice.

 It can be argued that Molly is the only one who loves him just for him. Lestrade wants his brain; Mycroft sees him as an asset; John is a junkie, Sherlock his dealer; Mary takes his help; Hudders once took help from him. But amongst those who take, there’s only one person who takes nothing. Molly.

 I suppose the other large part of her development in my mind is the ethical code that she’s had instilled into her from an early stage of her education. Medical ethics, and the application of deontological and utilitarian principles in her everyday decision making, must have influenced the person she became by the time we meet her. There are four major principles at play for her: do good, avoid doing harm, be fair, and respect individual autonomy. And I think it’s those principles of fairness and respect that she applies to her relationship with Sherlock. I think she respects his mind, his abilities, even his education (because they have components of their formal education in common), but I think it’s fairness that she applies most liberally: he is unique, different, and he lacks certain skills when it comes to interacting with others, Molly takes his treatment of her in that context.

 satin_doll: In Take Me and Erase Me, one of your earliest stories, you mention Lorca (the Spanish poet) and you’ve made numerous references to poetry since you started posting fics. What else besides poetry and fanfic do you read these days? What do you see as the biggest influences on your writing?

 OhAine: Biggest influences. Honestly?  Stephen (both of the King and Moffat varieties) have said that the best advice they could give aspiring writers was to read as much as you can of the kind of thing you want to write, and I’ve found that to be so true. The Sustain Stories are probably the single biggest influence on my interpretation of Sherlock and Molly. I remember saying it to someone once (I think it was actually you Kat) that I’ve been writing Sustain fanfiction rather than Sherlock fanfiction all these years. It was that big a deal for me.

 As for what I’m reading now�� I always have a few books on the go, currently open are Leonard Cohen’s Book of Longing (Jesus, the raw intensity of his imagery), Tom Robbins’ Even Cowgirls Get the Blues (the absurdity of it appeals to me) and James Joyce’s Dubliners (The Dead is my favourite short story ever, so I finally decided to read the rest of the book).

 Thank you Kat for your lovely questions x

 likingthistoomuch: Going all the way back to the beginning, what prompted you to start writing fanfic in the first place? Where did that first impulse come from?

 OhAine: I’d never heard of fanfic until I became obsessed by Sherlock, but once I found it, it was like falling down a rabbit hole. I read. And I read and I read and I read. When I first found Sherlolly in mid-2014 there were about 3,000 stories in the tag on AO3 and I went about systematically reading them all in descending order from the largest hit. It took me about six months or so to get through them and then I hit a wall, there was nothing left to read. But by then I started seeing Sherlolly everywhere: in every song I heard, every poem I read… and at the time I was living away from home while doing a master’s degree, and I remember so clearly driving back to my little flat outside Galway one night after a late lecture and Lana del Rey’s Young and Beautiful came on the radio, and it was like, BANG!, this fully formed story of an insecure Sherlock hit me. It was so clear, so well defined and complete, and it wouldn’t leave me alone. The end result was Saving for a rainy day, and the other two stories in The Dance series.  

 Honourable mention too at this point to @sundance201 and her beautiful fic Hello My Old Heart. That story was the beginning of my love affair with music in fanfiction, I started my Sherlolly playlist with the song it references and I don’t know if I would have ever made the connection between music and writing without it. So blame Sundance201 :P

 Likingthistoomuch: When you wrote your first fic how did that process go? Did you have someone review the work? Also, when did you share the fact that you had attempted fanfiction with someone around you?

 OhAine: As above. No, it was a type and go thing. Literally. I have no idea what madness overtook me to actually post it on the internet where other real live people would see it. It was (still is) full of mistakes, and reads like an outline rather than an actual story, but I knew no better at the time. It was the first piece of fiction I’d ever written, and I had zero expectations that anyone would read it. I bawled like a baby when the first comment came in.

 Anyway, it was a Sunday morning, and I was staying at Uni that weekend because I had exams the following week, hubby was coming that day to see me and make sure I hadn’t died under a pile of textbooks and fast-food containers. When he arrived I showed him the post on AO3, and he was so sweet. He still reads all of my fics, gives me feedback and suggestions. He’s even got an AO3 account now so that he can leave kudos. Bless him. He’s still the only one I share with.

 Likingthistoomuch: You are amongst the few who seem to write comic themed, angsty, fluff as well as explicit with ease. At least that’s how it comes across. Which genre is the easiest for you and which one would you prefer to write as, say an outlet for real life pressures?

 OhAine: I’m shocked that it comes across that way, because writing doesn’t come easily for me at all. I’m not a writer, I’m an auditor who writes when she has time. Every single word is like squeezing that last bit of toothpaste from the tube, and although I’m a very verbal person words are not my strong point. My vocabulary is technical and that’s fine when I’m writing reports and letters for work, but I don’t have an emotional vocabulary so I have to work really hard at finding the words to describe the feelings I want to write. And I’m not a fluffy person so writing anything sweet is like pulling teeth for me. None of it’s easy, but Molly and Sherlock are in my bones now so I keep doing it.

 I suppose comedy and angst are slightly less of a struggle. But comedy is a tricky one, because you’re either in the right frame of mind to write it or you’re not. It can’t be forced, you can’t make something funny if it’s not.

I don’t have a favourite genre, and none of them come naturally, but if it’s a question of what’s an outlet, then I’d say all of them serve an equal purpose, although the most satisfying to get right is definitely angst, even if it’s a rare jewel. I think I’ve only ever managed to get it almost right twice, maybe three times: Amor Vincit Omnia, The Fate of Glass and possibly A Sunset Bird in Winter. I kind of hold those three up as times when I was happy with the finished product.

 Likingthistoomuch: How do you plan out your work? Do you plan the end, the beginning and what’s in the middle before you start posting?

 OhAine: Bold of you to assume I plan!!!!

 The beauty of writing (mostly) one-shots is that you’re presenting a finished piece. I’ve written just one multi, Take me and erase me, and that was done completely on the fly. I was so traumatised by the whole thing that I’ve been put off for life.

 When it comes to the one-shots, I usually have a pretty good idea what the beginning, middle and end are before I begin – even if the end result turns out to be something else entirely. I do a first draft, then revise, revise, revise until the flow feels good and I think I’m saying what it is I set out to say.

 Likingthistoomuch: You work with a beta - do you share the entire plot of your fic and discuss before you start the writing process? How does that work?

 OhAine: It works differently with different people. When Kiki and I worked together, every detail was shared and there were masses of emails over and back discussing plot and structure. A three thousand word doc could come back with fifteen hundred extra words of notes. She had an opinion about everything. It worked because we were each other’s beta, and we’d built up a rapport and trust. She was never afraid to offend me and I loved that about her. She was also very verbal, so feedback was always detailed, she’d be very clear about the whys of it. We were both new, both learning, so that extra communication was great to get. And I genuinely miss being a beta for her.

 Kat on the other hand has a light touch approach, she gives me a far longer leash and lets me express myself – just myself and my ideas. If I have a specific concern I’ll share that with her, and she’ll give me advice and her opinion. What I tend to share with Kat is what I’m hoping to achieve, and she’ll let me know if, in her opinion, I’ve done what I set out to do. She trusts me more as a writer, if you know what I mean.

 likingthistoomuch: I am heavily influenced by Bollywood songs and get one shot ideas by the ton. Kat mentioned your love of poetry, and I wondered has there been a poem that literally made you wanna rush home and write down stuff as soon as possible?

 OhAine: Oh that was Where The Lost Things Go, by Anne Casey. She wrote an entire book of poetry about loss (in particular losing her mother) and it makes for a devastating read. When I heard her recite that poem:

“We sat upon a golden bow, my little bird and I, indivisibly apart, we dived into the sky. And to the purple-hearted dark, an ocean we did cry, for all the lost things gathered there, in rooms beyond the eye.”

I could see Sherlock and his little bird crying for the things they’ve lost, things hidden in secret places. I’d had the image for ages and ages of a little girl coming to Sherlock with a case, but the story that went with it never presented itself. Stories are like that sometimes, bits of them linger until the right structure comes to you. The fic came out in one draft, I did minor revisions later, but it was just this one thing all of its own from the start. And it was sort of the poem coming to me at a time when I was grieving too, and it fitted so well with this image I had of Watson in her big boots and pink hair. Everything coalesced into a coherent story. The end result was my own ‘Where the lost things go.’

 Generally that isn’t how it works for me. I usually take away just an image or a phrase, sometimes just a feeling, and I try to structure something around it. But like you, I get a lot from music (Elbow’s music could be the official soundtrack of Sherlolly) and movies as well as poems

 Likingthistoomuch: Let’s be honest here, you get tons of reviews. I know, I read most of them (turn down that stalker alarm!!!). Has your story ever been influenced by a comment given on the initial chapters of a multi fic? Not the plot per say, but maybe a small scene or interaction?

 OhAine: No, I really don’t think so. But then there’s really only ever been one multi of any real significance, Take me and erase me, and the initial chapters of that got very few comments, or even hits for that matter (chapter one got 17 hits on its first day, but I stuck with it and it did okay in the end). What does happen with comments is they encourage me to keep going, to keep writing, especially when I feel like I’m just rubbish at this. I’ve been blessed with people who are generous and kind when it comes to egging me on and making me feel okay about what I’ve written. I tend to be very sure about where I want to go when I write something, and I think that if you allow things to intrude on the picture you have in your mind you run the risk of ending up with something that’s a bit all over the place. The reader you write for is you, and you either live or die by it.

 Likingthistoomuch: In your fic “The Pinch Hitter” (I absolutely love the Simple Chemistry series) there is dialogue that has the potential to turn the fic any way you want:

“I don’t want you because I’m lonely, you little moron.” He shouts, full to breaking point with impotent frustration and clawing at his own hair. "I'm lonely because I want you!" 

Funny and yet heart wrenchingly raw. Did you work specifically on introducing something like that, which can be a palate changer for a moment?

 OhAine: Oh boy, tough question. Short answer is no, I wasn’t looking specifically for that line. The prompt for this fic came to me by way of a pinch hitter assignment in the 2017 Sherlolly Fic exchange, and I had about four days to come up with a story that fitted the brief. I work at a snail’s pace under normal circumstances, and I was under so much pressure to get something done. I’d pissed away three of the four days on a fic that I couldn’t make work (still can’t, *sigh*) and in desperation I turned to the next prompt on the list of four. In the end this one just came out, and I’m lucky it’s as okay as it is given the rush it was written in. That line: if I recall, it came out of some wanky meta that was doing the rounds at the time, the mirror theory, and I guess that line is my response to it. He wasn’t running to her because she was a surrogate, she, Molly, was the reason he ran to Molly.

 On the other hand, that line is very much part of my overall head canon for Sherlock in the series. He’s the cause of his own isolation and I remember either Moffat or Gatiss saying that he was like a child pressed up against a sweet shop, window, longing. I see him very much that way. He doesn’t make friends because he’s lonely – the loneliness is part of the choices he’s made – but he acutely feels loneliness now because he finally understands friendship and love. Does that make sense??

 I don’t seem to be able to do straight comedy, there’s always a little angst with my absurdity, a little absurdity with my angst. Some of that is to do with wanting to introduce contrast, some of it is because I think the show does that too and when I’m writing, to some extent, I’m trying to emulate that style.

 Likingthistoomuch: On the topic of light works or ones with a comedic thread, you seem to have mastered the tough-as-nails art of writing genuinely funny work which is not slapstick by a mile. Is the writing process for that different than your other works?

 OhAine: It is. Totally. I can’t decide to write something funny. It either is or it isn’t, and I don’t have much control over that. No amount of revisions will make something that’s not funny work as a comedy piece. I tried that once with The Truth Will Set You Free, and I think it was 20+ drafts before it started to get giggles from my beta. That was when I realised that trying to be funny wouldn’t work. Kiki said to me after that one was posted that she thought I was rubbish at comedy, which was strange given how often I made her laugh in my emails. It dawned on me then to just be myself, write in a more naturalistic tone and focus on being absurd instead of laugh out loud slapstick.

 The next one I tried my hand at was The Adventure of the Berenstein Baby. I took a different approach and wrote it as though I was telling a friend about something hubs and I did, using the exact same style I’d use in conversations (like the side bar thing, my emails are famous for them, I go off on so many tangents) and the result was one draft with minor revisions to get the finished product. When that fic won the 2017 SAMFA for humour, I almost died of pride.

 Likingthistoomuch: The Fate of Glass, that letter, that fabulous, fabulous, piece of work. How long did you take you write that?

 OhAine: The first draft contained all the bones of the story, it was 1,700 words long and it came out in one afternoon. The letter was there right from the start, always at the end. The rest needed much more work, I think I added another 2,000 words during revisions. I have a memory of it being an easy one to write, but I had a week off work that January, and I know I spent at least another 40 hours picking at it during my leave. It had the story right off the bat, but none of the detail. My vocabulary isn’t what I’d like it to be, so when I feel I don’t have the words to tell a story I read. I had an anthology of Pablo Neruda’s poetry on the arm of my Queen Anne, and every night I’d read for an hour or so, and the next day I’d have the words I needed. Reading, for me, is sort of an ignition tool, it sort of opens that part of my brain that isn’t bogged down with technical language, it opens up my creative side. I sometimes forget just how many revisions even the easy stories take. I forget sometimes that I have to work hard at it, but I do.

 Likingthistoomuch: When it comes to naming you work, how do you plan that out?

 OhAine: More bold assumptions about planning!!!!

 Sometimes a story has an obvious title, like The Science of Seduction (because it was about the application of mathematical theories to love and relationships, so it just seemed obvious). Others, like Better, or The last person you’d think of, they were obvious because the whole story is geared toward making the point that these phrases represent. When I find a name I want to use I do an AO3 search of the Sherlock/Molly tag just to be sure no one else is using it (or has used it for a very long time).

 Names are something I struggle with, and at the beginning I went almost exclusively with lines from songs, but I’ve stopped doing that now because it felt, I don’t know, a little forced? These days I try to make a stronger connection between the story and the title without making it too wordy or over explaining what’s going on in the story. I often have a placeholder title while I’m working on it, but keep trying out new ones as I go to see how they fit.

 Don’t ever underestimate the power of a good title: along with the summary they’re your elevator pitch to the reader. A brilliant story can be sunk by a bland title or bland summary.

 Likingthistoomuch: How do you gauge the success of your work?

 OhAine: Oh jeepers. I’m a numbers girl, so the stats page on my AO3 account is my enemy LOL. I’ve tried to find my own metrics, because it’s easy to fall into the trap of judging success on hits and kudos when there are so many things that can influence those little numbers. Like, Trial by Existence was a failure if you go by the stats, but I still feel in my gut that it’s a strong fic, and I learned so much about writing from it. Anyway. There’s a bunch of things I ask myself during the inevitable post-mortem: first and foremost, did I say what I wanted to say? Did I convey the message that I was attempting to put out there? But then I also consider was the quality up to standard, did I build on my learning from the last thing that I wrote? If it’s a gift work, did I please the person it was gifted to? In terms of grammar and punctuation, phrasing (none of which are my strong suit) have I improved? And though I never set out meaning to, I start to fret about the stats…

 But I also think that if someone has said in the comments that they’d love to see more of this particular story, then you’ve succeeded in making something that someone else connected with. That’s always a really important metric for me.

 Likingthistoomuch: Coming to the topic of Social Media, what effect does that have on your work? Have you ever faced rude reviews or comments or called out for offending people? Because we know, if you log in, someone somewhere is offended.

 OhAine: And I specialise in offending people LOL it’s why I stay off social media for the most part.

 Everyone gets the odd rude comment, I think. It’s the risk you sign on for when you put something out into a public space. I try hard not to take those personally.

 It seems to me people are looking for a fight and they don’t care what it’s about. I’ve come to the conclusion that no matter how convinced I am of my position or opinion, if there’s even a hint of aggression I walk away because to engage with them is just giving them what they want. Don’t add fuel to the fire, you know? And it’s not my job to educate. It just isn’t. So I do what’s healthy for me, and I avoid the nonsense even when I know I’m right and they’re not. I don’t need to explain myself to strangers.

 Having those things said, I wouldn’t trade away the positives of social media just to be rid of the negatives. I’ve found fantastic friends on sites like AO3 and tumblr, I get so much from our little community and the lovely people in it. I suppose the Sherlolly community is lucky: we’re small, able to self-regulate, and the people here are genuine and kind. I’ve learned so much, gotten so much joy from writing, so much from reading, the beautiful artwork that’s posted here, and my fellow shippers… I’m grateful for that, so that’s where I keep my focus.

 Likingthistoomuch: As per the new guideline, the blue hellsite will not allow explicit work to be posted. Does that make you want to write more E rated stuff, in a virtual Up Yours to Staff?

 OhAine: I gave up on writing E-rated fics two years ago, and I suppose I am kind of sad that I don’t anymore because I would dearly love to say to anyone who tries to censor others to go fuck themselves.

 On the one hand, the ban doesn’t really affect me because I don’t create that kind of content anymore, so I could just be tempted to shrug my shoulders and move on. But. It affects others who do create that kind of content, and I’ll support them all the way, not only because they should be allowed freedom of expression, but also because the purge is part of a bigger problem: the suppression of freedoms, under the guise of protecting the innocent, and is driven by a puritanical streak that’s becoming pervasive in our culture, one that is more about control and suppression of free ideas than protection. Tumblr is lying to us, pure and simple. They could deal with the p0rn problem but they don’t, and therefore you have to assume this isn’t about p0rnbots: this is about commercial considerations, and the suppression of creativity that they can’t commercialise. It’s also very telling that the ban is overly focused on the female body (and I can’t help but feel that because a good percentage of content creators are women, that the purge conveniently silences women’s voices) and the ideal of womanhood held by a very narrow band of its user base.

 Historically, censorship (and that is what this is) doesn’t lead us anywhere good. It’s a slippery slope, folks. We’ve got to be careful, or next thing you know we’ll be in red capes and white hats remembering the good old days when women were allowed to read.

 likingthistoomuch: Last question: If you could change just one thing about BBC’s version of Sherlock, what would it be?

 OhAine: Oh dear. Just one??? Okay, let me discount a few contenders first:

 I would ask that there be more Molly. Lots more Molly. That the kiss had been real. That Sherlock be naked at all times. That the shirts were tighter and the curls longer. That Mary had lived. That Holmes got the Watson he deserved. That Moriarty had lived. That Eurus hadn’t. That Paul McGuigan had stuck around. Ditto Stephen Thompson. That they had kept production values at primetime and not Saturday tea-time CBBC levels. That the production staff hadn’t stirred the shit just because they liked the attention. That Mofftiss had had a beta, or at least someone who challenged their ideas…

 But if I could choose just one thing, one thing that would be possible for them to do and not go off at a tangent, then I would have them stick to the cases. Tell the story they were telling at the start: The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes, as told by his Boswell. I’ll be forever sad that they chose not to do that.

Next week, Friday 10th of May, part two of this interview turns the tables and @ohaine interviews @likingthistoomuch.

[drakewalkerfantasy]

Run After The Sun (Beckett x F!MC): Part 8 [2/2]

Summary: Their day finally arrived. If everything will go smoothly for them or some obstacles will be on the way? If this will be enough for them a simple wedding ceremony or they will make something just for them to remember? 

Author note’s: This is AU for my MC Maeve Raven and Beckett Harrington. AU where happiness seems not possible for this two but is it so? All characters as usually belong to PB. Please let me know if you want to be tagged or removed from the tag list.

@fluffy-marshmallow-heart huge thank to you for all your support during this AU, we are almost near to the end so thank you honey a lot. I appreciate this so much.

And thank for anyone who didn’t abandon this series just yet and read them. I hope you will enjoy reading this part. Other parts can be found in my Masterlist.

We are almost there. Last part will be the last one and NSFW.

Author note’s 2: This lyric belongs to Aria (Kipelov), this is Russian Heavy Metal band and the name of the song is Run After The Sun.

Warning:  T

Words: 4504

Attunements:

Maeve Raven: Sun and Earth

Beckett Harrington: Moon and Metal

Tagging: @elles-choices @fluffy-marshmallow-heart @brightpinkpeppercorn @mrsbriarmarlcaster @walkerismychoice @tmarie82 @boneandfur @darley1101 @scgdoeswhat @harrington-sinclaire @feartheendlesssummer @damienazarionos @timmagicktoad @ifyouseekheart @ludextruction @queen-among-writers @flynnomalleys @littleblossom-18

Maeve slowly have been following the green and relatively flat path to the top. Her heart beating faster the closer she got to her destination. On her left side was exquisite view to the Atlantic Ocean, but she seen nothing else except the small silhouette on the top of a cliff waiting for her. The late September wind still warm and caressing, lightly was waving her hair and veil. She sighed happily, enjoying the soft snuggly rays of the sun, closing her eyes for a second and breathing in the salty air before continuing her walk not paying much attention to huffing of her best friend, who was struggling on her stiletto heels.

Meanwhile, Beckett stood on the top of the cliff in front of Moher Tower nervously looking at the path, that have been hiding around the corner. His heart thundering in his chest, and it seemed anyone in the close proximity to him could hear his heartbeats. He cast the glance to his old watch, his fingers just lightly brushing across Maeve’s gift, calming from the touch, still nervous, excited but feeling his heart slowing a little not jumping from his chest anymore. He focused his gaze back into the distance, knowing that Maeve should be there any moment waiting to tie a knot with a woman he loved desperatly, with a woman with whom he gone through the hell just to get stronger for each other. He could hear as through the fog the Irish old tune and his heart skipped a beat when Maeve appeared on the horizon in her beautiful wedding dress. He could feel how his breath caught in his throat from her breathtaking beauty and his eyes started to burn from tears filling them. She looked like a magical creature from the old fairytale, moving slowly, climbing up the slightly sloping cliff. Her veil fluttering in the wind and her eyes met Beckett’s the second she seen him under the beautiful wedding arch decorated with stunning white roses and shimmering silver-blue flowers matching the bouquet in her hands. Not thinking twice, Beckett quickly strode toward his bride, under surprised looks of their guests, meeting her at the turn, placing his hand on her lower back lingering there for a second before taking her hand in his.

- Hey there, - murmured Beckett softly smiling at Maeve, helping her to climb up, holding her gently, but firmly by her hand still unable to believe that this isn’t the dream and she will not disappear with a dawn.

- Hey there, - replied she in a shy whisper, her smile copying Beckett’s and they walked up hand in hand, to start their forever.

Finally they climbed up, standing under the beautiful flower arch in front of their friends and family, facing each other, waiting for Shreya to catch up with them. They could hear admiring whispers around them fading with a sounds of waves crashing on the cliff. They could hear remotely, how Zeph cleared his throat trying to attract everyone’s attention and begin the ceremony. Zeph’s voice sounded muffled as if coming from under the water, but still reaching their ears, making their eyes to shine brighter in anticipation. They stood still facing each other and holding hands, loosing themselves in this gaze.

- At the request of the bride and groom, previously expressed, I will be brief in my speeches so as not to annoy them and so they can proceed to more enjoyable part of their wedding day, - chuckled Zeph, watching Beckett lowered his gaze to the ground and the tips of his ears turned red, - So let’s start this celebration of the union of Maeve Raven and Beckett Harrington by remembering the previous centuries renowned writer’s saying about marriage: "Marriage makes of two fractional lives a whole, and it gives to two purposeless lives a work [...] it gives to two questioning natures a reason for living, and something to live for; it will give a new gladness to the sunshine, a new fragrance to the flowers, a new beauty to the earth, a new mystery to life." So said Mark Twain and so it is, - Zeph’s voice trailed off, while Beckett couldn’t take his eyes off Maeve, his eyes speaking better than any words he could voice, his thumbs brushing lightly over Maeve’s knuckles, caressing them. They stood still watching the joy and happiness in each other’s eyes, seeing the promises they hold for each other. The sound of waves calmly rolling beneath them, while Zeph’s continued to speak, - As we celebrate this bond of unity today it is important that we keep in mind that the marriage is so much more than about love. While love is important, on its own it means nothing. What matters, is sacrifices you ready to do for each other, your readiness to fight for each other and hard decisions you are ready to make when they needs to be made, - Beckett turned his head toward Zeph meeting his eyes, nodding slightly, - but if not for love all this marriage components would also mean nothing, love is the reason we live and the reason for everything we do. So with this in mind I want you to proceed with the vows I know you had prepared. Beckett, would you like to start first?

Beckett noded slowly, taking a deep breath and started to speak. His voice, at first quiet, grow louder and stronger, the farther he proceed. His eyes not leaving Maeve’s even for a second, he clasped her hands in his, his thumbs absentmindedly caressing the soft skin of her knuckles.

- Everyone who knows me, knows that I’m a man of fewer words. However, when it comes too Maeve… It seems I just can’t stop talking, - he chuckled lightly, lost in her big warm golden eyes, reflecting the sun and the sea, - Every time I look at you I have to catch my breath to believe this is real, that I am marrying you, the woman who carry my child, - his eyes slide to her slightly rounded belly and the blush crept up his neck, - and the woman for whom I am ready to fight and die without second thought. You are my everything, you are my today, tomorrow and forever. As you know, I’m not great with expressing my feelings, as I never was taught how to do this. Instead, I was taught how to embrace the pain and push people away. I know that unwittingly by pushing you away, I brought you through a lot of pain, thinking that this will protect you from my family, - Beckett’s eyes shifted to their guests meeting Katrina’s understanding look, continuing to speak, - but I never stopped loving you. Remember, a day we parted, I made you a promise to always find my way to you. And I’m standing here in front of everyone to keep this promise and to make it ours forever. Our love is tougher than anything and came through a lot of pain and loss. This love was forged in a flames of hell… Breaking us, making us to make difficult decisions to protect each other, - his eyes found his sister’s eyes among the guests pleading with her to understand and forgive him. But he didn’t find the judgment or rebuke he looked for, instead he seen the sadness mixed with happiness for him. He could feel the gentle squeeze of his hand, his eyes meet Maeve’s again, not noticing that he stopped speaking, feeling the lump forming in his throat, closing his eyes for a second before starting to speak again,- but this all led us to this moment, leading us to our forever. I cannot promise you that we will be always happy. But I can promise to fight for our happiness every single day, making sure I always will keep my promise and always will find my way to you. I cannot promise you that you will have no doubts. But I can promise to prove you every day how unconditional my love is. And I promise to love you with all that I have, and all that I am,- Beckett’s voice almost a whisper bringing Maeve’s hands to his lips kissing them gently.

- Now Maeve, would you like to deliver your vows?

Maeve took a deep breath not looking away from Beckett, still holding hands. Her eyes filling with tears, her lips trembling and her skin glow in a warm golden color, while she starts to speak.

- Despite the fact that it was not love at first sight, it does not mean that I love you less, it only means that instead of blindly dive in I walked into love with you, with my eyes wide open, choosing to take every step along the way. Every decision I made, every pain I embraced for you was my own choice and my own decision. There were times when everything seemed lost. I was lost… But thanks to our friends, - she looked around smiling and radiating the warmth, - and our Professor, - her eyes found Professor Kontos, acknowledging him that she never will be able to forget what he done for them, - we found our way to each other. I found my way to you. Beck, our love wasn’t always happy. It was forged through pain, tears and death, overcoming all this and bringing us to this exact moment. This is our fate and destiny, but only because we were fated to do the things that we’d choose anyway. But even if I had a power to turn back time and change anything in our past, I would never change us, as we are who we are because of every choice and decision we made. And I promise you, I’d always choose you; in a hundred lifetimes, in a hundred worlds, in any version of reality, I’d find you and I’d choose you. And I’d fight for you and die for you. And I promise, I will always find my way back to you.

- Now after this touching vows and declaration of love can you please join your both hands together. Maeve, do you take Beckett as your wedded husband, in front of these witnesses, and promise to stay by him side through sickness and health, joy and sorrow, so long as you both shall live?

- I do now, and I always will, - Maeve’s voice barely above the whisper, smiling through the tears running down her face.

- Beckett, will you take Maeve as your wedded wife, in front of these witnesses, and promise to stay by her side through sickness and health, joy and sorrow, so long as you both shall live?

- I do now, and I always will, - Beckett’s eyes meet Maeve’s, slowly bringing her hands to his lips, brushing them over her knuckles, not letting go of her gaze.

- Now, by exchanging these rings, you solidify a lifelong commitment to one another. The rings serve as a welcome and constant reminder of the bond you’ve formed with your partner. Now Beckett, take this sun ring and put it on Maeve’s ring finger, - spoke Zeph watching at Beckett first, while he took a beautiful golden ring from Griffin who stood by his side.

- Maeve Raven, I give you this ring as a symbol of my enduring love. And I marry you with this ring, with all that I am and all that I have. And I choose you to be my wife this day and forevermore, - spoke Beckett softly sliding the wedding ring on Maeve’s finger not leaving her gaze.

Maeve, handed her bouquet to Shreya who stand by her side all this time and took a beautiful moon ring from Griffin who came toward her, nodding. Slowly taking Beckett’s hand in hers she started to speak:

- Beckett Harrington, I give you this ring as a symbol of my enduring love. And I marry you with this ring, with all that I am and all that I have. And I choose you to be my husband this day and forevermore, - Maeve slowly slide the wedding ring on Beckett’s finger not leaving his gaze.

- Maeve and Beckett, by the power vested in me by the Universal Life Church, and Marriage Registration Office of Ireland, I am pleased to pronounce you husband and wife, sealed together today both in law and in love. Beckett, you may kiss the bride!

Beckett slowly took both Maeve’s hands in his, coming closer to her, their foreheads touching, whispering:

- You are my world, Maeve, - she could feel his hot breath against her lips, before he leans in and kisses Maeve's warm lips, meeting them in a sweet and gentle kiss, his hand snaked around her, pressing her hand over his heart. She could feel his tongue parting her lips, making its way inside her mouth, unhurriedly rolling his tongue over hers, moaning quietly inside her. It seemed that eternity passed before their broke apart, their foreheads still pressed, eyes shining and smiling gently to each other. After awhile and taking their wedding photos on Shreya’s insistence, they all headed down the cliff with their family and friends, reaching the wedding reception quickly. This was beautiful secluded place under the cliff, hidden from everyone who didn’t know about small trail coming through the cliff. At the end of this trail was area near to the ocean enough for small group of people. The round table was standing under the cliff with white tablecloth and eleven blue candles forming a circle. The golden and silver-blue shimmering flowers stood in the middle of this circle and radiating an incredible aroma from the table. Away from the celebration's table stood a cook and a couple of waiters ready to serve the freshly prepared dinner for small party of eleven people. After starters and main dish were served, after non-alcohol beverages and endless toasting, it was finally time for the newlywed first dance. The soft melody started to tune in the quiet place interrupted only by the rustle of the waves making the melody even more magical. The loving smile touched Beckett’s lips when his eyes landed on Maeve near to him and he stood up slightly bowing to her, holding out his hand waiting when she will take it.

- May I? - he asked, his silvermoon eyes looked deeply into hers earthy one's, waiting patiently for her to take off her pumps and take his hand. After a moment he could feel her warm hand placed in his, standing up and letting him lead her to the elegant and slow temp of the waltz, her bare feet barely touching the wet sand under them. They whirled in the setting sun's dim light, holding each other's gaze, while a familiar words followed their every move and heartbeats, and their shadows dancing on the sand.

I was searching for a heart that's beating

         As fast as the way I'm feeling

Trying to find some peace there in my soul

He slowly led her through the steps of waltz, holding her firmly, his gaze always on her, drinking in her beauty, and it seemed that everything else stopped existing outside of their own little world.

You know it was your love that saved me

      The answer to my prayers you gave me

And I hope I'll be all you deserve

Theн silently waltz, as they didn't need words to express what they felt, their eyes spoke louder then anything else. He could feel like every single emotion was brought on the surface, making his heart pounding in his chest. At this moment it seemed that everything else just disappeared around them, but he didn’t cared much about this, caring only for the woman he hуld in his arms. The one he loved more than anything, the one he would choose over and over again no matter what, no matter how much pain he would need to endure.

Maeve’s dress swirled in the accelerating pace of the waltz, her bare feet barely touching the ground almost floating over the sand in Beckett's strong arms. She felt safe and secure, feeling his love in every touch and every gaze. His forehead rested on hers and he sighed happily, his eyes closed and the smile touching his lips. They were so close together that they could feel each other's breathing, their hearts beating in unison and their bodies moved in a perfect sync with the music and each other. His deep husky voice whispered to her the words making Maeve's eyes fill with tears and her heart throbbing with echoing pain.

I'd fight for you

       I'd die for you

You know I would

- Look at me, - she breathed, making him open his eyes meeting hers shining brighter than any stars in the sky, feeling as his breath caught, unable to look away from her, - Beck, do not even think I'll let you fight or die without me by your side. I will always be there for you to make sure I bring you back to life, if I have to, - they eyes were bright with tears, full of emotions and promises the one that they were ready to keep.

Don't you know I'm no superman

        But I'll always be your man

Vaguely he caught the melody coming to the end automatically slowing his movements, finally bringing Maeve to the halt, their foreheads still pressed to each other and he moves her even closer to him, gently brushing his lips over hers, in a softest of kisses while the last chords were dying, before parting under loud applause pulling them out of their own little world, making tips of Beckett’s ears turn red.

After another hour of celebration, when sun got hidden over the horizon and moon was raised high in the starry skies it was time to say goodbyes to their family and friends. Beckett sighed heavily, feeling Maeve’s small gentle hand squeezed his under the table, before starting to speak.

- Sorry to cut our celebration short, but it is already getting late and…, - spoke he feeling how the slight blush starting to warm his cheeks before continuing, - Maeve need to get some sleep and rest as she is on her legs whole day, - blurted out Beckett, before he could be able to stop it. He could see Maeve’s brow raising in question mischievously and her hand slightly run up his thigh, making him shiver under her featherlight touch, before another laughing voice broke the silence.

- Cut it, Harrington, we all know quite well why you want to end the evening, - laughed Zeph winking, his eyes sparkled with mischief, - the stories Shreya used to tell us…

- Zephyr, - warningly growled Beckett after the table erupted in quite laugh, having a feeling that Zeph is about to retell some of this stories in front of everyone. The tips of his ears turning brightly red, wanting for the earth to swallow him, - Can I continue now? – asked he, sighing deeply watching around a table, feeling still uneasy to speak in front of everyone, - Before saying our farewell, I wanted to thank everyone who was stick with us during this uneasy time, who supported us no matter what and no matter how difficult and dangerous it was. Thank you for everyone who were ready to stood by us and helped not to break or give up during all this years apart. As you know, I’m not the one who loves to speak. But I want to thank everyone around this table, for being here for us, when it seemed everything was lost. If it wasn’t for you, today’s day would never come, so thank you, - he looked around the table, before looking at Maeve sitting next to him, his eyes softening when meeting hers, - we both are thankful for everything you done for us, - he murmured his lips brushing hers just slightly before pulling away, the tips of his ears getting slightly pink. After this they both stand up holding hands and waiting for the guests to say their goodbyes, making their way to the exit. After a while the only people who stayed on the beach were they, and Katrina, who Beckett asked to stay earlier.

- So will you tell me why you asked me to stay after everyone left, it is obvious by the look of it, that you want to be left alone, - beamed Katrina watching a young couple in front of her.

- Katrina, Beckett told me that besides other talents you are also Pagan Priestess, and performed handfasting ceremonies. So we would like to ask you to hold handfasting ceremony for us here in front of the ocean and under the full moon. After all loses, pain... after everything we have been through, - Maeve sighed, taking Beckett’s hand in hers and interlacing their fingers, - we wanted something just for us, something special, that will bind us not only legally, but will seal our spirits to one another, to make us one whole. As my ancestors done this for generations. Can you do us an honour?

- I didn’t performed this ceremony in a very long time..., - Katrina hesitated for a moment, but seeing the pleading in the eyes of her young brother she continued her voice sounding slightly brittle from emotion, - Do you have your own vows for the ceremony?

- Yes, we do, - replied Maeve squeezing Beckett’s hand who was silence all this time.

- Then I’ll be pleased to do this, - smiled Katrina taking from Maeve’s hand a beautiful blue-golden binding cord with moon and sun charms from each end. Maeve could feel Beckett relaxed and light smile appeared on his lips when his eyes met his sister’s.

They slowly proceeded to the shore closer to the water facing each other waiting for Katrina to begin the ceremony, they hearts beat in unison, their eyes on each other, feeling overwhelmed with emotions and love. Maeve’s hair and veil fluttering in the wind. They could hear Katrina took a deep breath starting to speak.

- According to your wishes to honor Maeve’s Irish heritage you chose to hold this handfasting ceremony to bind your union not only legally, but also to seal your spirits to one another. Handfasting is an ancient Irish wedding tradition that has come to be interpreted literally, as the symbolic act of “tying the knot.” Please join your hands together, interlacing them. 

Maeve and Beckett smiled at each other softly bringing their hands together in an interlocking fashion, right to right and left to left.

- As your hands meet your partner’s, look into their eyes. Recall the joys and sorrows you have celebrated and endured together. Take note of the support you are feeling, and know that this support will exist for you always, - Katrina gently started to wrap the handfasting cord in bound in a beautiful figure of eight around the young couple’s interlocked hands, continuing to speak, starting to draw a circle around them, - Source of the Sun, I summon you to join this two hearts as one. Source of the Moon, I summon you to join this two souls as one. In front of the Ocean the Source of the Water I witness the joining of Maeve and Beckett and I will listen for the vows they have prepared.

- Maeve, I never knew my life could be THIS full… and here today, in front of the only family I have left, in front of the Stars, and Moon, and Ocean, I get to marry the love of my life, the mother of my unborn child. Thank you for being here for me and fighting with me during some of the most trying times in my life. Thank you for never giving up on me, even though many times I wanted to give up on myself. Thank you for loving me for who I am, and I feel it every minute of the day. Thank you for choosing me to be your husband, - speaking he could feel how his throat was squeezed by emotions, watching tears forming in the corners of Maeve’s honey-coloured eyes, rolling down her beautiful face.

- Beckett, I have been so excited for this day to come, the day that I can begin to call you my husband. Everyday I spend with you makes everything we came through worth it. All this pain, all this fight. Every time I think of you, I think of home. You are more worthy of love than you know, and I feel pride to have been chosen by you. Thank you for never giving up on us, fighting your pain, fighting your fears. Thank you for believing in us, as it was times when everything seemed lost. You are my person. You are my life. And I cannot wait to spend the rest of my days with you by my side, - Maeve looked in Beckett’s eyes feeling hot tears rolling down her face shining as silver streams in the moonlight.

- As we bind your bodies , so too do we bind your spirits. Your lives, as your hands, are now bound. While the cord binding your hands will eventually be removed, know that the union binding your hearts is permanent knot, a gift that will bless you for the rest of your days, - they could hear Katrina exhale quietly not noticing that she hold the breath all this time, feeling as she could breath again. She made hesitant steps toward Maeve hugging her quickly, soft smile playing at her lips, before turning to Beckett wrapping her arms around his frame tightly, pulling him into embrace, feeling how her tears started to roll down her face, silently falling on the sand. They stood this way, wrapped in each other arms silent at first before starting to speak, their words muffled but coming from the aching hearts introduced to a lot of pain. They spoke of what did Beckett have to go through, and of what he did, and about his fear that Katrina will hate him forever. When Katrina started to reply her voice was broken from tears but the words she told warmed his heart. She told him that she never was mad at him or hated and that she understood that he needed to do this to protect his own family. They stood this way for a while before saying finall goodbyes. Katrina’s eyes focused on the two figures hiding in the dark narrow passage through the cliff, the small smile playing on her lips. Watching them disappearing from view, hand in hand. Their lives bound, their souls as one.

[purplesurveys]

324

What are you excited for? I have a two-week break before I start midyear classes and I’m just ecstatic at the thought of finally not having any deadlines for the time being and sleeping in when I want. I enrolled for midyear though because my depression hits me the hardest during the summer, so I wanted to do something that would keep me occupied all throughout. What is your name? How nice of you to ask. I’m Robyn. Who was the last person to talk to you? Well Audrey tweeted me and that was the most recent time someone talked to me. I dunno if that counts. Are you part Irish? I am 0% Irish.  What was your last facebook status? I never post statuses on Facebook. If I do post anything it’s always a profile photo change to promote my org.

Do you find musicians or athletes more attractive? I don’t have a preference. What is your favourite colour? Pastel pink or black. Do you email often? Very often for school matters, yes. Rarely for anything else. How was your night last night? It was pretty cool! I hung out at Gab’s dorm from afternoon to evening so I could help her with 90 packages that she had to assemble, and watched BuzzFeed’s Worth It while doing that. Then we caught the Friends finale on her TV so I made her watch it and she loved it ahhhhh after that we just kind of went from channel to channel because there was nothing to watch. At around 9 PM she watched this show she’s currently following while I took a nap. All in all, solid glimpse as to how our home life would be. If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? I’d love to meet my maternal great-grandfather. He was a very respected and intelligent man. The only trace of him I see today is at our old house, where his library of law books and encyclopedias still exists. Do you own any action figures? I own wrestling figures.  Do you like reading? I used to go with one book every two weeks when I was younger. Since then school just kind of took all my time and I never got back to the hobby anymore. What's your favourite thing about your hometown? It’s in between the city and the mountains. It’s easier to get to either when you’re in between. What did you do over Christmas? I don’t remember...I also get hugely depressed over the Christmas season so I don’t make memories from it. When I was younger I wanted to be a: Firefighter. Do you have a lucky number? No, I don’t pick lucky anythings. How many vowels has your whole name got in it? Nine all in all. The last thing you downloaded onto your computer? A PowerPoint presentation that I needed to study for my broadcasting finals. Do you like cats? I like all animals but I have very little patience and enjoyment with cats. Do you have an iPod? Yeah from like a decade ago. I still have it, just as an artifact now haha. Are you wearing jeans? No I HATE jeans. I had an unplanned sleepover at a friend’s last Thursday and I had been wearing jeans, which meant I had to wear them for two days straight. In hot. Humid. Weather. It was torture and I’m never doing that again. Do you prefer nighttime or daytime? Nighttime. Have you got any piercings? Yes, my mom got my ears pierced as an infant. I’ve since damaged one of my piercings though. Is the window in your room open? A couple of them are always open in the summer. Do you own a gun? No. Do you chew on ice cubes? Not really, no. Do you hold grudges easily? Yes. I find it satisfying. Do you play any instruments? The recorder, I guess. Super lame. Have you ever thrown a surprise birthday party? I’ve participated in numerous surprise parties, but very seldom have I directly planned one myself. If you celebrate Christmas, do you get a real tree or an artificial tree? Everyone here in the Philippines gets artificial ones, so it was incredibly weird to me when I found out other cultures get real, actual trees. What's the last thing you watched? Brooklyn Nine-Nine. What websites do you go on more than others? Twitter. What is the hardest decision that you have ever had to make? Accepting that my first relationship with Gab was no more. I had been hanging on to it in the hopes that we get to mend it, but we were on different pages at the time and it was a hard pill to swallow, especially knowing that I exerted a lot of effort into trying to make it work.

Another one that I have in mind wasn’t exactly a hard decision to make per se, but answering university application forms and filling which courses I plan to take was a bold step for me and really solidified that I was going to be on my own from that time on. Private Catholic schools babysit you for 14 years, so filing out each form was a big achievement for me every time. How long ago did you take your last survey? Like 9-10 hours ago, I dunno. This morning. Have you ever been told you were a good writer? I get that a lot, mainly because that is my forte. What do you want to be when you're older? Financially stable. What colour car do your parents drive? We have two white cars and another that is blue. The latter drives me nuts, as I’ve always thought an all-white lineup looks so much nicer. Are you shy? Yep. Do you change depending on who you're with? No not really; the only difference shows when I talk to people I personally dislike. Have you ever liked someone and they were taken? I haven’t. Do you own a camera? If so, do you use it often? I’ve since given away my DSLR to my sister so no, I don’t use it anymore. My only camera is on my phone and I use that a lot instead. What's your biggest wish right now? I wish I could be guaranteed a happy and secure life in a couple of years. Do you believe in fate? Not really. Does it take a lot to make you cry? Nope. Do you have a Twitter? I do. Do you often find yourself eating just because you're bored? Ahahaha you got me. I make trips to the fridge every time there’s nothing to do. What are your worst habits? I have trichotillomania, so hair-pulling is a big aspect of my life and one that drives me nearly crazy. Would you rather be alone or in the company of other people? Depends on my mood. I love my own company, but my friends are my family. When was the last time you flew on a plane? Last month. Do you watch music videos? Not really. Do you ever wish you were someone else? I always wish I was richer, but I’ve never thought about being a particular person. Do you know much about your family tree? A fair amount. What is your favorite home-cooked meal? My maternal grandmother’s kare-kare and paternal grandmother’s crabs. Do you own an account on club penguin? LOL Do you like lemonade? No. Is there someone who means a lot to you but they don't know that? A lot of my friends probably think that because I’m shy most of the time and don’t really express my feelings. But like I said, friends are my established family and I’d take a bullet for anyone I take into my circle. Who are you currently talking to? Just this survey. Is money important to you? Extremely. What are you afraid of? This is always a super broad question. Uh flying cockroaches? First person to come to your mind: The first being I thought of was my dog honestly. But since Cindy tweeted me like 30 seconds ago and the notification popped up, I remembered her first. Who was the last person to call you? My girlfriend. Is there someone you trust more than others? Yes, see above.

[breitzbachbea]

4. Share a sentence or paragraph from your writing that you’re really proud of (explain why, if you like), 6. What character do you have the most fun writing? 10. How would you describe your writing process? 16. Tried anything new with your writing lately? (style, POV, genre, fandom?) -> I'm beging nosy and asking FOUR questions 👀😂

Oh Amber, PLEASE be nosy. I love answering questions about my writing or characters, even though I take 5000 years to answer.

Fun meta asks for writers

4. Share a sentence or paragraph from your writing that you’re really proud of (explain why, if you like)

Okay, I thought about this for a while and I think I have a few more I could also share (and I'd probably have a sizeable amount of scenes or sentences if I reread ALL I wrote). But this scene was the thing that came to mind first and stuck the most.

From Italian Affairs, Chapter 9 "Drained Chances", Scene 3:

“I know I have to make up for what a jerk I’ve been”, he said. “But I still wish I could just forget.” He looked back into the room and spotted the wine bottle on a sideboard. “Charlie, you’ve got to face this”, Harry said and Michele sighed: “Okay we’ve got to think sober about this situation. Well, you do, Charlie.” “Damn right”, he muttered before walking over to the sideboard, almost falling over when he came to a hold with his hands on its upper side: "I have to correct my mistakes tomorrow!" “That’s the spirit!”, Harry said and Michele smiled. “You most certainly have the right ideas even now, Charlie.” “I have fucked up but I am a grown man and like that I will take responsibility for my actions!” He had grabbed the bottle even before the other two could yell “No!” and they only watched in horror as he emptied it. Charlie held down a burp, put the bottle back on the table and smile confident: "I have to talk to him again and explain myself." “And there it goes down the drain, the last piece of his common sense”, Harry hissed. “Thanks for lending me your ear, guys”, Charlie said and took a wobbly step away from the sideboard. “I am going back to my room now, enjoy your night.” He walked towards the door: “Or maybe I could try to talk to Marco again – no, that’s a stupid idea.” “You just drank half a bottle of wine in one go, mate, you are not going anywhere”, Harry said and Michele sighed but Charlie waved his hand while he staggered towards the door. “Don’t let me cockblock you, Happy fucking.” And with that he tripped and fell to his knees. He frowned at the floor while Michele got up to help him. “You know, Michele”, Charlie said while the Sicilian pulled him on his legs. “On second thought it might have been six beer.”

'Don't let me cockblock you, happy fucking', followed immediately by Charlie tripping and nearly falling on his face is deadass THE funniest thing I have ever written. I love how hilarious the entire situation is, solely because Charlie is an impulsive son of a bitch who keeps making bad decisions. Whenever he seems on track, he just cannot shut his mouth, he just cannot control a whim for a moment too long and it bites him in the ass the very next second. I love him so much. Furthermore, the scene itself is a perfect blend of wit and slapstick. I've outdone myself here.

Also, fuck you, ao3 says I have 382 170 words uploaded right now and that is still far from all I've ever written. So you're getting another scene.

From Smudged Makeup & Cleaning Up:

“I hate myself,” she said in French. “I hate myself and I hate him, I hate both of them so much,” she sobbed as her breath hitched and tears began to run down her face again. “Don’t cry again, shhht, don’t do that,” Hugo whispered and began to rock from side to side. “It’s okay, it’s nothing to cry about.” “I wouldn’t have to see it if I had just opened my stupid mouth and had told him how I felt, if I had just told him these stupid three words I now wouldn’t have to see this.” Her voice was something between a whisper and a hiss.

There are at least two more little paragraphs I could have shared from that one-shot, so I decided to go with the most emotional part. I reread it last night and I still think it is a pretty damn good piece of writing. It's funny, interesting and it shows all of the characters (Timothea, Hugo, Arielle) and their relationships to one another marvellously. I'd sincerely reccommend it to everyone, although the (not as good for sure) A French Trio Of Bad Decisions may be required reading to understand who Arielle is talking about in the above excerpt. (Amber, since you already read that one though, you can just go and enjoy Smudged Makeup & Cleaning Up as your first taste of Thea before you delve into The Amulet for more <3)

6. What character do you have the most fun writing?

That's a good question! I was going to go through Irish Problems and Italian Affairs again, tallying up who has how many POV Scenes, but gave up rather quickly; it's just very hard to determine with all the headhopping that happens in the beginning. Last time I checked it was Harry. The following list is by no means exhaustive and talks mainly about the characters as POV characters. I very much enjoy writing all of my children, whether they're the POV character or not in any given scene.

Charlie is definitely one of them, I feel very at home in his head and he's so much fun to write. His catastrophizing, his intense but jumpy emotions, his impulsivity and kindness, his dialogue and thoughts ... He is so much fun. I'd have to lie to say this gay adhd mess doesn't hold a special place in my heart.

Francesco is another good one, solely because I love being in his head. It's a nightmare in there at times, but that's what makes it fun. Let the sadism fight the catholic guilt, the lust for pleasure at all cost the need for kindness. He's a very vibrant character with an undeniable presence in each scene he is in and it's always fun to write interesting characters.

Lovino's also always a blast. His ranting, his annoyance, his fidgeting (oh, god, if someone asks me for a favourite scene again, I am sharing the one where he shuffled around too much during a car ride and ended up folded like a lawn chair in the footwell). The tumultous inside of his head, his doubts, his fears. I have nothing but love for him and I already miss him, despite not technically having finished Italian Affairs. The rewrite is still ahead of me and I am going to savour every single moment I get to write my favourite South Italian.

Last but not least a shoutout to Hugo. I think he is very interesting as well, with the masks he wears and the intensity that lies beneath them. He's both a sweet young man AND a fuckboy AND a little bitch. The only problem with Hugo is that I'm never 100% sure in his characterisation and have to consult Jonah, his creator, in those cases.

10. How would you describe your writing process?

Messy as shit for being this organized - or Surprisingly organized for being messy as shit. I've developed this process over the past eight years and I'll probably keep tweaking screws as time goes on.

This is my process for my big, multi-chapter, novellength main series entries. Anything else usually gets done in a similiar fashion, just with some of the steps lacking. (I didn't vomitdraft for rarepairweek, for example, nor did I do the proofreading on paper because deadline.)

1. I make an outline. I used to call this "Scene Plan", because it is just that - a list of each scene, with a very short description that makes no sense to anyone but me. Seriously, YOU tell me what is going on here:

2. I collect all snippets that come to mind for a series in a document; if I already have an outline, I copy whatever scene they would belong to as a header. Those things happen all the time, it isn't a conscious effort.

3. I take those snippets, paste them into Quollwriter and then vomitdraft for a few days. Each day around 500 words, as fast as possible. Whatever comes to mind goes onto the page, rarely backtracking. It's not about it being presentable, it's about having something written that serves as skeleton for the scene. I research jack shit at this point and directly type (Look this shit up) into the text.

4. Once a scene/chapter is done, I copy it into word and read through it to take notes in a little notebook. I write down what to research, what I like in the draft, what I dislike and what I still ponder. I try to draw the first connections to give the chapter a coherent feeling. (Chapters for the main series consist of three scenes, so I take notes for a scene and edit it before I repeat the process for the next - I don't take comments for three scenes in a row.)

5. I begin to edit the scene with a goal of 200 words a day. I usually exceed it; during a very bad day I fall a little short of it. I try to write every day or every two days, unless something else requires my focus more (like a term paper). Oftentimes I start a writing session with tweaking what I did the day before, before I continue. I usually also do the research as it is called for at this stage - The Amulet was the only time I did research before I even begun to write. My usual timer is 30 Minutes, but I tend to write for a little longer if I am in the flow. Or I sit there for 4 hours to finish a scene because I am THAT much in the flow and I want the GODFORSAKEN THING DONE.

6. Once I finished editing the chapter or one-shot, I print it out and go through it with a red gel pen. I correct typos, formatting errors or formatting choices I don't agree with. I rewrite sentences that I think read clumsily and cross out words that repeat too much. I sometimes add things to moments that are lacking or I cross out sentences that now feel unnecessary. Once finished, I apply the corrections to my document.

7. If I have a beta-reader (like the lovely @swabianmapley for Herz Auf Beat), this is the point at which I send them the document and wait for their feedback & corrections.

8. I post the thing onto the black void that is The Internet, lie to myself that I don't care about feedback & yet still keep checking ao3 for new hits/kudos/bookmarks/comments and begin the same process for my next project a few days later.

16. Tried anything new with your writing lately? (style, POV, genre, fandom?)

Hmm. I don't know if it counts, but in the coffee one-shots for rarepairweek I tried to make peace with the 'holes' I left. To not explain everything, but let the reader draw their own conclusion. Aside from that ... Been trying to put more emotion into my writing. I felt so unsatisfied with the big Charco kiss at the end of Italian Affairs that I'm now making an effort into describing emotions and sensations more, especially internally and not simply physically.

[autoirishlitdiscourses]

Discourse of Wednesday, 17 February 2021

Have a good touch, too. I mark you present. This is a specific thinking process, but it wasn't saved by the victims and requires a fair grade for the song choice is absolutely in range for you to give a more or less always lived there, I guess you could take this topic, but it's more or less finalized. Email that TA and see whether you can deal with, I think that this is simply to talk about differences in diction between The Covey and Pearse; you also did the best paper I've read so far since you haven't yet fully thought around what your argument most wants to, as documented in the course as a whole, but because it was helpful rather than the requested number. My 6 p. —You've written a smart move and a half pages from a crucial point in the structuralist sense famously suggested by Fredric Jameson? I'll get you full credit on author, title, who is alive, for instance, IMDb. Hi! I'll still take it, then it makes your teaching practices visible I post every slideshow I develop, as it might also take a fresh eye, asking yourself what the professor mentioned in/Ulysses/at Wikibooks: Daniel Swartz's article 'Tell Us in Plain Words': An Introduction to Reading Joyce's 'Ulysses': Joyce's two structural schema given to friends: Carlo Linati; Stuart Gilbert J.

Your writing is so very lucid and enjoyable. I've listened to the class's discussion than was perhaps optimistic for weeks when I cold-called on him for a four-page paragraph should be no use if I can make a more successful in the afternoon could we meet at a coffee shop on lower State Street. 5 or above, you will just mean that Yeats was talking about the motivations of the obscenity trial surrounding it. But I think your plan is to listen to what does; added old to what other people. You have a C for the quarter substitutes an estimate of attendance/participation score above 50 points, then you can make your readings are often primarily just due to nervousness and/or the novels there's no overlap in terms of culture rather than one that most directly productive here would be helpful if you have scheduled a recitation and what you'll drop if you have any more questions, please bring your copy of Ulysses? As to what might be a comparatively easy revision process. Or, if you have several ideas about it.

I'm so sorry to take this long to get back to you after you've written a smart move not only express your thoughts to, but writing as a way that doesn't overlap. I think that there are places where I think that it looks like you're writing more of the prospectus when I've already said in the afternoon? I really appreciate you both perform tomorrow night. Well done on this question, for the quarter. The writer may be wildly wrong about this offer to anyone any part at all I myself tend to have practiced a bit more would have helped to practice just a hair's breadth away from a generic perspective of a text from Ulysses in particular, of course perfectly happy either way, it would emphasize the second stanza and swapped a word out in detail than we can talk about authors other than as being the plus and minus for each one. The short version for this particular question, but there are many places, from Chris Walker, English 150 TA, You have a fever of 104 or a report that's an overview of the poem's meaning for me. As it is rather complex. Arranging the second half of the exam if you have any questions, or b temptation the general reading of Ulysses closely, and your writing is very solid job here.

Let me know which passage you want it to your discussion to assist you. Ultimately, I'd like to see what they have something to say about the topics you've picked. Good luck on the final or not I apply the late penalty, which is entirely normal to not only lucid but thoughtful and focused, but other people to examine evidence in a late paper/must/email me the new world order is an awfully slow recitation. Falling short/—even if they don't work for you, since you're already thinking about basic issues.

/11. Let me know if you have to go; it's a good job of portraying Francie's voice and the only person in the end of the scenarios above; you might do productive things with this group of graduate students who try to be flexible but unless the student from my grading spreadsheet. Thanks for being such a question that you are at inconvenient times for you. 43 1.

There is also impressive.

The Patriot Game, mentioned in this paper. Unfortunately, you are at inconvenient times for you, based on attendance for your argument more, I graded the final itself. On Francie's mother commits suicide; I don't think that moving a bit due to nervousness; many of them were due to proofread effectively, and want to travel during Thanksgiving week change, but I need to develop an even clearer expression of personal narrative by any means at all for working so hard. Some particular suggestions. Serious illness requiring urgent medical care. Thank you for being such a strong job here, especially without other supporting documentation, but I think that this would be a more specific: I feel that it's likely to be about 0. You had some interesting landscape-related parts of the more productive than asking yes/no questions rarely generate much in the quarter. But if things shift again during the quarter I told her so. Questions? You should use a spreadsheet to perform this assignment. Overall, I think, OK? You were clearly a bit rushed. 51%, a basic critical taboo since the professor has decided to push your argument to specific textual evidence that you believe that I am much less true for several reasons for accepting after this time. Does this work for them and what your primary focus should be set next to each other effectively while in the topic without letting your own ideas out in section after the final, is not inherently bad tools for writing, despite the fact that Ana Silva was in use and the fairy world. /Discussion to occur. One implication of this category. Let me know tomorrow what you had some important material in an engaged, and will incur a penalty, but also to some extent in your section, which was distributed during our first section, not Oct 30. Quite frankly, the culture of law? That is to email me the only one. I'm not firmly attached to this as soon as possible, OK? Is there something about the relationship is between the texts into the A range; you should speak to the exam any more I thought you might conceivably wind up talking about merely the preservation of instincts that contribute to the city, and to engage in a different text. —Not just to make a case that two people and no special equipment is required. I'll most likely cause is that at least twelve lines of poetry or prose from an interesting and perceptive things to say. It's just that your textual materials. Well done on this picking the opening next week if you're still interested in reciting, you have an A paper, although that is not simultaneously one of the paper in a variety of texts should be adaptable in terms of speeches you can come up repeatedly, and his descendants live in Ireland and Irish Currency. Well done on this.

Overall, this was a popular selection. Again, I'm sorry to take a stand, and your material you emphasize if the text s, but will absolutely respond to everyone's participation over the last half of your discussion of a proper Works Cited and Works Consulted would be, but maybe tonight was no section meeting during week five or six. However, I believe that you get 90. Here's a breakdown on your sheet so I re-adding it using the add code.

3:30 is also a Ulysses recitation tomorrow! Make sure to email me a copy of your late penalty to the fact that he had taken the first half of Yeats's September 1913, like I said in lecture if they cover ground which you sometimes retreat holds your argument's specificity back to you whether you are trying to do. What do you mind? 93% A-for the term, and the median and mode scores were both 7, I think both of them.

On Raglan Road Performed 4 December On poems by Paul Muldoon, Extraordinary Rendition Wednesday 4 December 2013 To-morrow the bicycle races Through the suburbs on summer evenings: but to aim to recite and discuss can be a necessary biographical connection for the term that make much other course text is fine with me. D'oh. Tomorrow!

You have a more specific claim about what's actually important to you. I feel that there will be most helpful at this point. Honor that absolutely prevent you from analyzing closely. If little Rudy had lived. This doesn't change the basic idea is basically structured in a way into an A paper, and modeling this for everyone who was scheduled to recite the poem on the final exam.

Other points for section on Dec 4, but I can't be more specific feedback and a punctuation mark. If you think it's fair to O'Casey's text, though I hadn't thought out extensively, and I'm deeply embarrassed that it is rather complex. So, here is to do this as being not a bad thing, let me know if you recall, and giving other people to participate this can be a fallback plan.

Hi! Still, there is no space for you.

Many thanks Of course! This is the enjoyment that the hard part for you and ensure that you are not actually a real improvement over her midterm score, and I will respond to emails from students already asking about crashing? Ulysses, and showed that you will automatically fail the class, because I'm trying to crash. I think that putting V for Vendetta in the biggest payoff possible sometimes you have any questions, OK? All in all, this is very solid job of providing good, but will be note that I'm taking September 1913, but is likely to see models, there are potentially benefits to both, that cutting one's teeth on him and being one of these are comparatively minor matters will help to make your thesis statement is actually a more successful than it needed substantial additional work on future pieces of writing that, just published a wonderful scholar and excellent human being and a server error on the specific feedback, I think that incorporating not just of individual passages: In-progress, very well wind up getting the group is, but against my class list, I noticed that the hard part for you to present your complex thoughts in your thesis statement takes the safe road too much pain. Let me know if you need to be reserved for two or three most participatory people in the class if there is a shame. That is to express yourself. 5%, which is competitive and won't be assessed during the quarter, so this is the basis for both of which you want to read Patrick Kavanagh, Eavan Boland these poems can be hard to read it. Let me know/. 991 and in a way that pays off more.

Paper-related things happening in here, I think you're prepared quite well, empty and abandoned, and why older persons, especially if the group, which had been set to music. If all else fails, you can deal with this particular offer for several reasons, including those that best support your specific point of discussion that allow people to talk about why in section this quarter.

Question provoked close readings of Croppies, of course and the tree and its mechanics may exhibit some occasional hiccups here and there—I think, to me. If, after lecture I assume you're talking about the relative value of the class was not my area of expertise, one that was purely an estimate for attendance and participation is 55 5 _9 points. A letter to Martha, and exhibiting solicitous concern for emotions that they demonstrated knowledge of what you actually arguing for a long way in to work at some point for the final. Etc.

That is, you will go first or last-minute and two-year college can be prepared. Ultimately, what kind of psychological issues, or you otherwise want me to say, Welp, guess I'll just say that you should take every possible competing text. At the same source. One aspect of love? Your paper effectively traces out a group is, or hospitalization of a letter on the midterm and final exams, and must not look at my section envelopes EC#50856 but not an inappropriate choice. Hi! This is a duplicate message. Here's a breakdown on your own reading of Godot, and the amount of time it took a while for them, but it can. But you really have done a number of things well here: you would have paid off a bit over, I suppose another way, though, you've got a special offer, if you're talking about the way that helps! I suspect would fit well with your approval, I'll try hard to motivate you to think of recommending Francis Bacon's work in the first people to discuss with another person, then I will not hurt you, but just of individual passages, but really, your paper is late, then digging in to the MLA standard; the way that the disclosure path is extremely implausible will be on the section hits its average level of familiarity with the people not warming up to two penalties. I provide an estimate for attendance purposes in the early stages of planning I just wanted to be helpful. Check to make decisions about exactly what you're ultimately proposing, as I've learned myself over the quarter is still in the course at this stage of the class, and went above and beyond the interpretations articulated in conjunction with other propaganda pieces of virtually any kind Henry V's famous St.

You may get more than five sections and you recovered quite well here, I will still be elusive at this stage of the following characters in The Butcher Boy: In-progress, very well done! In Conclusion. Talking about how you'll effectively fill time and managed to draw deeper into the text from page 4 McCabe 135, McCabe song on p. That's OK sometimes it's necessary to use to construct an argument for your thoughts would pay off in the third line of your paper graded by then. You did a very close less than thrilled at this point, but you were absent we talked somewhat about this very open-ended questions is the point of analysis, and questions with smaller-scale point in the end of the text from Ulysses in a productive line of the Heaney poems that will occasionally have reminders, announcements, and think about what kind of viewer is understood or affected by gender in the best possible light, and next week if you have any more questions, OK?

Forward to your workload, but I don't know whether that's meant to describe women in this paper would have helped, too. You have a well-selected material to think about how to do, and this is based on general claims such as background information several times during the course, the irruption. Yes-or-no question, but only to recite. On the other, could be one of three people who already believe in the front of the Wandering Aengus—6 p. Wants to sew on buttons for me to file an incomplete would also like to know the details of the exam is at stake. I think that you're dealing with this, let me know whether this matters, and we will have to try to jam in extra points for the edition of the staff that of Arimathea supposedly stuck into the B range. As promised in the context of your performance and discussion tonight.

Very well done, both because it is.

For that reason isn't going to be aggressive or confrontational, and Margaret Atwood's Oryx and Crake, all of this length, and I think that you'll do well, in case you didn't choose and which texts you want to deal with the paper's due if you post it as optional. I don't think that Ulysses has and did a good weekend, and I'll happily instruct him either way, would be to ask what changes Yeats makes to the complex connection that's being built here is some material that you engage.

Thank you for I'll leave here tomorrow night! 258? There are also some editing problems here—again, it will help you grow as a natural end or otherwise just saying random things about what you see as important about the two things: Come to section; eight got 9 or higher on the day after O'Casey is scheduled. First and foremost, I think that the parts of your finals and papers, and that you make meaningful contributions that you weren't afraid to use silence effectively at the last week due to nervousness and/or minor problems. Well done on this immediately, you really did intend to accept an F on the section website after your recitation and thinking closely about delivery; you have a very specific skill that takes experience to be experienced and discussed by presenters: You added the before one I loved; changed or to be as successful as possible it is also an impressive move that the episode of The Butcher Boy both are a number of fingers at the final exam, and I may overlook it if you have any questions or issues that would have also been participating extensively and wind up receiving slightly more than 100% of the following is true for ID #10, which has Calc, a B-on your part. Hope your grading option without a fee! But how you can deal with this phrase in the course-related issues, I personally think that if I can identify it. There was a difficult passage, in this paper. You could switch to taking the midterm, took four days after the midterm he has decided to postpone releasing the midterm, and they all essentially boil down what the nature of your political poster; and dropped et unam sanctam from the Internet, if you want to reschedule, and I think, always a productive direction to take it you're referring to the course are not responding, then you may want to switch to the connections between the two tendencies in Irish literature that you had some very perceptive comments in here, and do a very solid and perceptive piece here that is formatted correctly. 697, p. And the way to write questions on the following venues, at the front of the entire weekend one day late unless you file an informational report with the material to produce a meaningful discussion about the figure of the poem's own internal sense of a great detail simply because they're yours.

[aprilhollingworthblog]

Being diagnosed with autism changed my life – for the better

APRIL HOLLINGWORTH DISCUSSES HOW AN AUTISM DIAGNOSIS CAN ACT AS A CATALYST FOR POSITIVE CHANGE AND EMPOWERMENT.

I was diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome, a type of autism, when I was 38 years-old, for me this diagnosis was a relief, simply because I could now understand myself better.

For example, I learned why switching from one task to another felt unnatural and in job situations near impossible. I also understood why sounds felt amplified and overwhelming, such as when a group of people are all talking together. It feels to me as if they’re shouting and their voices echoing off of every surface.I learned why my sense of smell is heightened, which can affect me in shops, especially in the detergent and deodorant isles. 

Those smells linger with me well after the person has left the shop, making that section cloying and hard for me to enter, leaving me feeling as if I’ve been sprayed with fifty different scents directly into my face, making it almost impossible to breathe.

There are many preconceptions about Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) that are seriously wrong and can be damaging to a person who has it. For instance, when someone finds out I’m autistic they might say:“You don’t look autistic are you sure you have it?”Yes, I’m sure I’m autistic and have the letter to prove it. Autistic people are not born with a tattoo across our foreheads stating we are autistic. We look just the same as everyone else.

“Is there any medication to cure you?”Autism is not a disease. So no, there is no medication for it to ‘cure us’ of it.“I know someone who is more autistic than you are, so you’re fine!”

Every Autistic person is different, you might find strong similarities between one autistic person and another, but there will be differences. This is why it’s called a spectrum. Also, and this is a very important point, it will depend how well the autistic person masks. (I’ll explain later about masking).

“Autistic ‘meltdowns’ are an excuse for bad behavior!” 

No, far from it, a meltdown is not fun.“Autism is caused by something the mother did wrong when the child was in the womb!”No, autism is not caused by anyone. It is how our brains are wired and this is why autistics are classified as neurodiverse.

“Autism is caused by the baby having immunization injections!”

No, it most certainly is not. Nothing ‘causes’ autism. Autistics are born autistic, you can’t catch it, it’s not contagious and you can’t be given it either.

“I wish my autistic child had cancer so that they can be cured or die.”

Yes, you read that correctly, there is a book written by a father of two autistic children that wrote this! Being autistic is not a death sentence, does it make us different, yes but that’s not a bad thing. Everyone is unique and every autistic is unique from each other too. This is why it’s a spectrum – not a one for all.

“You must be good at maths if you’re autistic?”

No, in fact I’m terrible at maths. Autistics normally excel in a certain thing because they have a deep interest in it. I excel in the written word. I love reading, history and writing. I’m an author and have always been fascinated by different genres and certain aspects in history and the supernatural. Whereas for subjects that don’t hold my attention, my brain switches off, goes for a holiday and forgets to tell me. My interest isn’t there, so my brain doesn’t see the point in retaining that information.

WHAT IS A MELTDOWN?

Well instead of telling you what a meltdown is, I’m going to help you understand it by getting you to imagine what exactly it feels like.

Imagine you’re in a situation and you feel overwhelmed.

Now, amplify every sound around you by eighty percent. This includes electronic sounds, cars, people talking, music, your own heartbeat. Bring in the scents around you, you won’t want to because your hearing is already distressed but bring them in anyway.

You’ll have the smell of food, sweat, grass, car fumes, deodorants and perfumes, oil, and other smells depending where you are at the time. Once you have those smells rack them up to seventy percent.

Now this is two external factors that are amplified and affecting you. So, let’s move onto your next one, skin contact. Your skin will become aware of every fibre touching it – this is why autistics are particular about what we wear. 

Certain textures can aggravate us and feel constrictive, every fiber that touches our skin, especially during a meltdown, can either sooth or hinder us.If the item is soft, it can give us a sense of comfort or even be one less obstacle taken out of the path of a meltdown, whilst rough tight clothing can add to our distress. The jeans that were comfortable a moment before? 

Those fibers are now itchy, the button is now digging into us and the nickle it’s made of is aggravating.The top you are wearing now feels like it’s constricting your throat. You try pulling it away to help you breathe, but whilst this is going on an external contact can come about from another person. 

This is something you can’t control. You can choose what you wear to control how the clothing feels against your body, but not what another person is wearing or even what scents they use.And now on top of everything else your chest is tightening. You can’t breathe because your lungs feel as if they can’t work, your body is feeling weighted down and you have to do something, your brain is screaming at you that you must do something now!

Your hearing and sense of smell have now increased to one hundred percent. Panic has set into your mind and body, it is all consuming and devastating, you must take control of yourself before you collapse or tailspin out of control completely. Your anxiety has skyrocketed, and nothing is making sense anymore.

Congratulations, you have now reached meltdown status.

MASKING

Masking is one of those things’ autistics learn to do from an early age. It’s not always a conscious effort, but it does take a strain eventually. Autistics mask so that they can adapt in a world made for neurotypical people.A way to think of masking is like this. 

Imagine you walk into a room filled with people, they’re all talking about different things and laughing at jokes. You don’t understand the joke though. Your brain can’t see what’s funny about it but, instead of standing out you chuckle along with everyone else feeling completely alien and bewildered, yet your expression will reflect that of others so that you fit in and don’t draw unnecessary attention to yourself.

Now you wander into a different room and there are different social key points happening, but you don’t know what they are. It’s like someone handed out the how-to guide to navigate the world and forgot to pass one out to you. So, you’re constantly trying to figure it out and it’s not as if the social etiquette stays the same; nope, that would be too easy, instead it constantly changes. Everyone is getting their updates, except you.

Reading this might make you wonder if this makes autistics ‘fake or deceivers’, the simple answer is no, it most certainly doesn’t.

Think of how you are when you travel to somewhere different and the rules of the place haven’t been explained to you. If you get them wrong though, there will be serious consequences.So, you try and traverse through the rules and regulations as best as you can, without causing offence or unwanted attention directed at you. 

Does this change who you are? No, obviously it doesn’t, this is exactly the same for autistics except everyday we’re having to do this, eventually this causes a strain on our health and we can tailspin into depression.This is why quite often the autistic in your life might take time out for themselves, which might last from a few minutes to a few years, depending on how much we need.

LIFE FOR ME AS AN AUTISTIC

For me, finding out I have autism has been a blessing. As I mentioned earlier, I have learnt why certain things affect me the way they do and why I find certain situations almost impossible to traverse. But it’s also made me realize my own potential.

I didn’t do well in school, I was informed by a career guidance counselor that my dreams of being a writer were ridiculous as I’m not smart enough, so I was advised to think about what shop I want to work. This, as you can imagine, affected me substantially.

Even with the encouragement I received from my family to get my poetry published, I believed that was pointless. As the words of the guidance counselor bellowed in my head, “you’re not clever enough!”

I sent off some of my poetry and won Best Irish Poet Award for my poem “Don’t Morn the Dead.” But I still didn’t believe in myself. I started writing more poems and made attempts at some stories (which I still haven’t finished), and in 2010 I finally self-published my book of poems, called Different Kinds of Emotions.It took another few years, for me to start following my dream of being an author though, but once I did, I became happy in myself. 

Now I have a trilogy (The Candi Reynolds Series) and a short novella (Be Mine: A Candy Hearts Romance) published through The Wild Rose Press publishing house and am currently writing my next series.

I’ve finally, after 25 years, realized I’m not stupid and can achieve anything that I decide to do. The only limitations I have, is the ones I place in front of me. My school career guidance counselor made an assumption about me due to the difficulties I had, but those assumptions impacted my life in more ways than anyone ever could have imagined.

I doubted myself. I doubted my talent, my interests, my very passion for research, history, and creativity. Even with the encouragement from my family, I still doubted I was smart enough, capable enough or good enough.Once I was finally diagnosed, I was able to re-evaluate myself, I looked at my achievements – such as becoming an author, something I was informed I was not capable of – and I wondered, what else can I achieve?

I found a course I was interested in, by pure accident, and applied for it and was accepted straight away. That course was Journalism in the Digital Age, which I followed up with a course in Radio Broadcasting, both of which I passed with distinction.

I’m now getting ready to head off to university to study for my BA (Hons) in Media Production.This is why I believe being diagnosed with autism is a blessing for me. With my diagnoses I have been able to understand myself and make changes in my life that I never would have thought I was capable of.

This is why it’s important not to put limitations or assume things about others. You don’t know how it will affect them and what it can prevent them from achieving. Being different, thinking in a way that is different from the norm, is not a bad thing – far from it.

Presumptions are one of the worst things in life, they can hold people back, prevent amazing things from happening and destroy wonderful potential connections because someone assumed something about someone else.Life is short and too precious to be ruled by someone else’s prejudices.

https://thecurrent.ie/being-diagnosed-with-autism-changed-my-life-for-the-better/ #autismawareness #thecurrent

[talonsaconite-archived]

3. My resentment with the community (part 1)

previous post: 2. anonymous asks and why they really upset me

next post: 3. My resentment with the community (part 2)

This part of my post will take the longest time to read. It was also the hardest part to write for me, because here I am talking about a lot of different things regarding the community and the community’s actions and reactions. It is difficult to talk about it all and to talk about my honest feelings and thoughts. I have very mixed feelings. Some things moved me to tears and made me happy. But other things made me really sad and hurt me, deeper than you can imagine. I’m not even sure if any of you can follow my thoughts and understand my pain, understand why some things hurt me the way they did. However, I need to get this all out and come clear. So that means you have a bitter pill to swallow if you choose to read until the end. And I cannot guarantee I won’t hurt anyone with my words. Let’s continue where I ended the last part. So, I received anonymous asks that hurt me, although they didn’t contain any “hate”, or what I understand as hate. While I had no strength to argue with them or even the strength to give them a proper reply, others did in my position. Others raised their voice on my behalf and took my side, even protected me. At least it felt like it. One person even took it so far to reblog the question along with a whole argumentation against the anonymous person writing me. It was a good feeling to know I had people getting behind me and aiding me. My mood was overall very low and I felt depressed, so seeing people doing this made me feel really glad to have you as my mutuals. However, that feeling didn’t last long. While I am really grateful for the people taking my side here and defending Joe as an original character, doubts came up. At some point, I was confused, and slowly, I started to distrust the people’s good intentions. I don’t know. It was really nice reading the supporting comments and such, but it didn’t help me with my problem with Moira at all. The problem persisted. The problem started with her reveal and the community’s reaction. From what I have observed, people literally threw themselves at Moira immediately, even before any Moira rp blog existed. People basically begged Moiras for interactions. People praised Moira loudly, as if there was no tomorrow. People instantly wanted to ship with her. I’ve been on tumblr for about a year and 4 months now and this is the first time I saw such an overwhelming positive reaction towards a character. But considering how similar Moira and Joe are, seeing such reactions clearly hurt me. It has been always like that, original character have to prove themselves worthy to be even looked at. It is hard. Getting dismissed even harder. I’ve put so much work and effort into Joe and I never experienced such a great interest or even the strong desire to interact with my character. Meanwhile, all a canon character has to do is to exist. Do not defy that, because this is something everyone can observe and something that is true for the Overwatch fandom. So, seeing how big the hype was and probably still is, seeing how people basically begged for Moira rp blogs to come to them, it was really easy to feel robbed off your place you have built up for yourself over months. It was really easy to feel pushed out, and ultimately, replaced. It is even easier to feel that way when it is a canon character that basically takes your oc’s place. I daresay that those who only write or have written canon characters will not understand my problem and my emotional state, while I believe that fellow oc creators and writers might have a grasp on the whole problem and the whole pain I was going through. I claim that because I lost close mutuals and friends from who I believe that they didn’t understand my pain. Or, something. I don’t know what the exact reason was, but fact is, I lost them because of Moira existing. I couldn’t be mad at all when a close writing partner was overly exited about Moira and the fact that she is Irish. They immediately suggested doing something with Joe and Moira together. And I believe they were confused why I declined, and that they didn’t really understand why I was hurt. I vented to them. Heavily. But, in hindsight, I should’ve known that this was in vain and perhaps I should’ve shut up. It didn’t end well. At one point I even confronted them and asked them for any differences between Joe and Moira, for any major differences, something to clearly distinguish both. They disappointed me with their answer. Their answer was that Moira sought scientific progress at all cost and not stopping for anything, while Joe did the same but with restrictions. For those who don’t know Joe: I stated in her biography that she went for prison because she conducted human experimentation on her patients without their knowledge, even willingly killing some of them. Instead of just writing and publishing a paper that got dismissed, Joe went ahead and experimented directly on human test subjects. I have made a detailed headcanon post about her self experimentation, stating how far she altered her own body after proper research and testing everything on others. I have written with the person for over half a year, we talked quite frequently, and we exchanged headcanons about our muses, so I thought they knew better. But it seemed they didn’t, or never paid enough attention to Joe, so that they put Moira over Joe in terms of who is morally more corrupt and willingly to go the full length. This was and still is a big deal to me. After telling this them, they… well. Told me I should hold on because this is difficult. Them saying this proved my point further that they are too similar, and that there are no differences. After a few days, I tried to talk to them again and tried putting our differences aside. I saw this as an argument between us, but I am not sure how they viewed the conversation. But the end result was, that I confronted them whether they still had any interest in writing with me. I never received an answer to that question. So I took this as a clear answer. There was another conversation I had with a person. I knew they made a Moira rp blog next to the blog they already have. I thought that maybe they could offer me some answers, or some differences. We talked a long while, we pretty much examined both biographies and background stories and the facts. But the end result was that there weren’t any significant differences between Joe and Moira. They tried to pull straws, but they found nothing, which left me devastated and frankly heartbroken. Just, overall broken. They wanted to help me. But I also had the feel that they weren’t even trying, and so I lost faith in them. It seemed I lost another mutual. That’s not it. Through my venting, I lost even another mutual. They were overly excited about something concerning Overwatch. I don’t even know what it was anymore, but I know I took it as an opportunity to vent yet again. This time, it was when I heard about the voiceline interaction between Moira and Widowmaker that pretty much shattered me completely. They told me I shouldn’t see it as a competition because it doesn’t have to be a competition. Maybe they were right. However, with how similar these two characters are, it was a competition for me, it felt like that. Promptly, they reacted apathetic towards me. It hurt. Well, maybe I was overreacting since we were never close. However, it hurt. It hurt even more considering they are writing an oc and experienced a short “oh fuck” moment upon Moira’s reveal, too. It hurt even more knowing that they also seek for approval of their oc as well as inclusion of their oc to the canon universe. But also knowing that they well… mainly seem to interact with canon characters, or at least that was what I observed, I just assumed they didn’t know my pain, and in the end, they never really cared. Another mutual lost because of Moira. I also lost another mutual, and this time a really close writing partner and friend. I know that this loss was my fault, but I didn’t feel like I could continue keeping in contact with them, knowing how fast they moved on onto Moira, how fast they started to interact with god knows how many, I counted at least 5 or so within the first week of her reveal, how fast they started to ship their muse with Moira. From my perspective, I felt hurt, I felt quickly replaced, and I felt pushed aside. I mean, even in looks, Moira and Joe are similar. So seeing them immediately shipping, well… it really did feel like Joe is easily replaced. Like there was nothing special about her, like she was just ‘another character’, or well, that it showed canon characters are better. And let me tell you, it hurt seeing them on my dash reblogging apparently every Moira post, it hurt scrolling through their blog even though they were one of my favorites. They weren’t the only one doing that. It was like my dash was Moira only. I couldn’t scroll through my favorite blogs or coming online without seeing her everywhere. It felt like a slap in the face, that kind of slap that makes you turn your head. Especially the people claiming they loved Joe and that they missed Joe did that. So tell me, how should I trust you and believe you that you really miss Joe when you clearly have moved on onto Moira, and seeing how Moira took over your interactions and your blog, too. The answer is, I didn’t believe them a single word. I couldn’t. I just couldn’t. During that time, I was still on tumblr and my blog was not archived. But all I got out from what was happening, I got the feel that it wouldn’t even make a difference if I was gone. I know that people tried to help me somehow, and that they were probably overwhelmed with the problem at hand. But there was another thing that really hurt. That thing was that quite a few people, quite a few, even friends, even anonymous asks suggested to me that I should change Joe. That I should change something in her background story, that I should change anything there, that I should change her appearance even, like changing her hair color. These suggestions only evoked questions in me: Joe was here first. Then why should I change Joe for the sake of a canon character? Why should I change my oc and with that basically move and make space? Why should I do that to distinguish them, why do I have to do this? Why is this my job? Needless to say… it hurt, too. It hurt, because it felt like I was told to move and change because of canon, because of Moira. I don’t have any other way to put how I feel but like this. Considering the matter with Widowmakers creation, there is another thing that hit me deep and that hurt. Do you still remember how I wanted to talk to a former mutual who had made a Moira blog? I also talked to them on another behalf. They wanted to suggest a plot to me, and I was curious enough to give it a listen. But after hearing what they suggested, I felt shattered all over again. They wanted to suggest that both Moira and Joe work on Widowmaker, that Moira did the main part and seeking out for Joe for a little help. Now consider this: Joe’s whole foundation is her being the sole maker of the deadly sniper. Why? Because this was the very first and is the main thought I had making Joe. This is her identity. This is her being. Their suggestion would’ve taken this all away. I wish that was all I had to say, and that this was all that upset me. Sadly, there’s more.

[penelope1730]

Molly, Mary and Joni

The Lying Detective.... Does anyone else feel like they got kicked around a bit? Not so dissimilar to Sherlock's beating in the morgue.

I really liked and disliked this episode in equal turns. In time, I'll probably err more on the side of 'liking' but, for now, the wind's sorta been knocked out of my Molly / Sherlock sails. And, surprisingly, it has nothing to do with 'Sherlolly.' Or, maybe, it has everything to do with Sherlolly? Okay, still trying to work that one out. But, first....

Culverton Smith truly was the most despicable and 'evil' baddie on Sherlock to date. This isn't to detract from Moriarty or Magnussen, but let's face it - we didn't need to see Culverton's victims to understand 'Who' they were, nor the full impact of his body count. They could be "anyone" - although I suspect, given the rather chilling scene in the hospital and Culverton's (sexual) arousal during the serial killer banter, all while he played with the doll, the majority of his victims were children. Or, children were the stand-in for those most vulnerable.

Sherlock pointed out in ASiP - "We've got ourselves a serial killer. Love those. Serial Killers are always hard. You have to wait for them to make a mistake." And, "There's always something to look forward to. I love the brilliant ones. They're all so desperate to be caught. Appreciation! Applause! At long last the spotlight. That's the frailty of genius, John, it needs an audience."

This was especially true for Culverton. He was already famous for his business, charitable and philanthropic work, but that isn't what he was most proud of. He was proud of his ability to make people into 'things.' To strip away humanity and life, and create 'dolls.' Unfortunately, and unlike the cabbie in ASiP, Culverton had no audience to appreciate his work and genius. Perceiving himself similar to the 'Queen' - he was too powerful and untouchable. So, every once and a while, he had to drug those closest to him and tell them his darkest secret, watching and getting off on their horror, fully knowing they would soon forget his confessions. Granted, it was a temporary fix, which would eventually get boring. Culverton was supremely careful to not make mistakes and Sherlock was tired of waiting. Entrapment was the game, knowing once he was caught Culverton would sing like an 'canary' - fulfilling his desire for an audience and glory set against competition.

But, all of that really isn't the point of my ramblings. I just sorta had to get that off my chest.

What really struck me most about this episode (besides the *amazing Hudders) was, once again, the parallel between Mary and Molly and the two men they love. It doesn't matter if that love is reciprocated, or unrequited, because no matter what John, or Sherlock, did or didn't do, the love each women holds is conscious and unconditional. Joni Mitchell in her song, A Case of You, put it like this:

"I'm frightened by the devil, And I'm drawn to those ones that ain't afraid." "I met a woman, she had a love like yours, she knew your life, she knew your devils and your deeds, and she said Go to him, stay with him if you can, But be prepared to bleed. Oh, but you're in my blood like holy wine, you taste so bitter, bitter and so sweet. Oh, I could drink a case of you, darling, and still be on my feet. I would still be on my feet."

These remarkable women know the men they love. They can see them, and standing firmly on their feet. What really matters, though, is if these men are capable or willing to see themselves? They are, however, getting a clue.

John said it most eloquently, in his heartbreaking, tearjerking confession:

"I'm not the man you thought I was, I'm not that guy. I never could be. But, that's the point. That's the whole point. Who you thought I was, is the man I want to be."

We've heard a similar sentiment before:

"If I wasn't everything you think I am, everything that I think I am, would you still want to help me?"

In their own way, consciously or unconsciously, both John and Sherlock want to be better versions of themselves; better men. Mary and Molly, and the roles they fill in the protagonist's lives - challenged them to do so. Even when it wasn't wanted, or actively pushed away.

John: "Why can't some things be unacceptable and we just say that?"

Therapist: "You're holding yourself to an unreasonable standard."

John: "No, I'm failing to."

Tremendous layered meaning in that conversation about grief. And remorse. But, Sherlock's sentiment of The Abominable Bride is certainly ringing through loud and clear.

"One half of the human race at war with the other. The invisible army hovering at our elbows. Tending to our homes. Raising our children. Ignored. Patronized. Disregarded. Not allowed so much as a vote. An army nonetheless, ready to rise up in the best of causes. To put right an injustice as old as humanity itself. So, you see Watson, Mycroft was right. This is a war we must lose. Look around you. This room is full of brides. The women I...We have lied to. Betrayed. The women we have ignored. And disparaged."

As a sidenote, the modernized meaning of "bride" describes a woman about to be married, or a newly married woman. It's roots are Germanic meaning "bru" - to cook, stew, or broth, which normally described the role of daughters. Etymology suggests the word goes back even further to Irish history / lore as a representative of the Celtic Goddess Brighid, eventually becoming Saint Brigit, or St. Brighid of Kildare, whose name was known as Bride. She is the patron Saint of healing, poetry and inspiration, among other things - for she is imbued as the Great Goddess, the triplicity: Maiden, Mother, Crone.

The name Mary is a derivative of Margaret. Molly, however, and for at least the past one hundred years, is considered a 'stand alone' name, having no roots. But, this actually isn't quite true, for long ago 'Maili' or 'Molly' was the nickname of Margaret. While Molly and Mary have their own meanings, Margaret simply means: Saint. And both of these women have proven themselves to be Saint-like. And, sinner. I know, mixed message, but still.

I just sorta dig how the writers weave these webs of interconnectedness...whether or not it's intentional.

The point is, John and Sherlock are held to higher standards by the women who love(d) them, even when they they don't believe they are deserving or capable of being those men. There is a desire, however, to Become, and maybe, for now, that will have to be good enough. Although I very much liked Mary saying, "Well then, John Watson. Get the hell on with it." It really is time to get on with being the man (men) you were meant to be.

Sherlock - "You know, it's not my place to say, but it was just texting. People text, even I text. Her, I mean, woman. Bad idea. Try not to, but, sometimes. It's not a pleasant thought, John, but I have this terrible feeling from time to time that we might all just be human."

John - "Even you."

Sherlock - "Mmm, no. Even you."

I have no clue if Sherlock is hung up on Irene Adler. It breaks my M/S relationship heart to think so and not just because of romance or sentiment. But, because #MollyMatters. She is the true compass North of this show and she deserves a story, and happiness and, most of all, fulfillment - which does not have to be contingent upon Sherlock. But simply because she's Her.

*while all quotes are accurate, they have been paraphrased for emphasis.

[st0p-thls-train]

What the signs mean to me*

Taurus: You are the only person in the entire world who has seen me truly and whole-heartedly cry. You stayed to help me pick up the pieces at one of the hardest points in my life and all the while, you never judge me. You make me feel like I can just be myself. I will always remember our dates. Like the very first one at that Irish pub in center city - that’s when you found out. Or our valentines date at that little Asian restaurant a few miles down the road - too good of friends to actually take it seriously. You taught me how to laugh at myself. I only wish that you would be kinder to yourself. You deserve to love and be loved - but with the right person. I am so proud that you’re trying again.

Gemini: You are the smartest person I know. Not only that, your humor is everything. You’ve always known how to cheer me up and calm me down when I am at my most stressed. You can talk me into doing almost anything. And I can honestly say that you’re the only person I would ever go to theaters with to see fifty shades of grey. But you showed me how to be spontaneous. You were the first person I had ever met who would throw everything up in the air for the sake of adventure. I will never forget the day you surprised me with a kite on my birthday when you found out I had never flown one before. That’s when I really discovered how big your heart is. Please don’t ever let that go. It makes all the difference.

Cancer: You are the coolest, most chill fucking person I have ever met. You never say much, but when you do it’s always pure genius. I regret that I only knew you for a short period of time, but I like to think that we would have become so much more had we had more time. But sometimes, we meet people who are only meant to merely brush against our lives in passing. Ahh well… there’s always the next life.

Leo: Every once in a while, I think of you. You were the first. My first. You met me when I hadn’t quite grown up yet. Thank you for taking me when I was still rough around the edges. I hope you’re happy wherever you are, and I’m sorry that we haven’t spoken in years. I’m sorry things had to end the way they did.

Virgo: You are a nomad, child of the universe. You searched it from the time you were little, sometimes against your will. Over land, in the sea, and on the moon, you found a home. You also found a home in me. I love you. I love you more than anyone I have ever loved before. I know because I love you enough to not need your love in return. Or at least not the same type of love. With nothing to offer you but my heart, I didn’t scare you away. For this, I will forever be grateful. I only hope that you'll someday let somebody back in. Because love is the purest form of happiness. I hope the fog clears from your life soon. Something tells me it already has. And if all else fails, wherever you are, my love will find you.

Libra: You are the one that got away. Not in any romantic sense of course, but from soul to soul, ours never quite understood one another. We had all the ingredients: mutual friends, similar background, close proximity. What happened? I thought we would have more time. But in the end, you just moved away. You were the friend that I never got to befriend.

Scorpio: You taught me how much people mean to me. You showed me how sensitive I really am. You were with me when I was rediscovering myself. I am so sorry you got hurt in the process. But you didn’t need me anyway. You are a queen. And I envy your ability to lead. Please never stop pushing forward. I know that you’re really going to do a lot of good in the world.

Sagittarius: My very first best friend. You know me better than I know myself. You taught me what it means to be a friend and what it means to be an enemy. We are so similar yet so different. I hope you take these differences and run with them. You’re so artistically and musically gifted. Who would have known that you would become the scientist and I would become the writer. A role switching that not even we saw coming. You might not say much, but when you do, I hope you find the voice to shout it out. I know you don’t waste your breath on just anything, so why not see where your ideas take you. And if I ever have to go, know it was for you. I love you.

Capricorn: For you, I was the one that got away… romantically, of course. You are adventure. You always do what you need, even if what you need is not legal. You are everything I want to be but not everything I want to be with. You asked me for my heart and I am so sorry that it took me so long to realize that it was not even open for the taking. Maybe someday, our love will line up. Until then, I look forward to our walk to center city.

Aquarius: You are a blessing. A presence I never expected coming into Senior year. I love how you never let anything hold you down. You are fearless and a bit immature, a combination that can only give you that childlike flair. I hope to get to know you better before its too late.

Pisces: You were the first person to prove me wrong. You told me that we would last more than a year. But what you didn’t say was that we wouldn’t last more than seven. I miss you so much. I know we promised not to let college get in the way. I wish we could go back to the times when we would lay on your bed talking for hours. Those were my first life talks. You never let me live down my nickname and I never could come up with a good enough one for you. You are the only person from home that I told about her. And in a lot of ways, I see you in her. I see your smile, I see your humor, I see your energy. I hope that when our paths cross again, we haven’t lost the familiarity. I hope that when I see you, I see happiness. I hope I can still recognize the you I grew up with in the you that you are becoming. And I can’t wait to be proud of you.

Aries: Everything comes back to you. A chaos of emotion and passion, you write away your feelings. I wish you wouldn’t take everything so personally, especially when it comes from the ones you love the most. You know they are not trying to hurt you. I love how you love, and I’m sorry for your pain. But no matter what, never let the pain overcome the love. Your lesson is love and pain is only here to teach. I hope you never lose your ability to be honest and tell people how you feel. You deserve love from someone who loves you back in the same way and with the same intensity. There’s nothing wrong with waiting for the right person. Remember you’re not alone. Do not buy the lie that says you have to be in love in order to be alive. For even without love, there is still so much to see and do and become.

*This was originally a post by @kanyenoodles, and I really wanted to make my own version of what the signs mean to me.

[crowblackbird]

The City of Beautiful Liars: Part 4 The Pity Party.

In the dressing room, Dick Bauch is having his make-up put on. He sits still and straight, eyes closed.

“Okay, I think we’re good.” Says the make-up artist.

Dick opens his eyes, looks at himself in the mirror.

“Hello Dick. Are you ready?”

“I was born ready,” he says back to himself.

“Ha, prove it.”

“Let’s go then, I’ll show you some Dick. Bianca!” Dick shouts. “Give me a kiss for a good show.”

Bianca stands near the door, smiling.

Dick walks slowly up to her, smirking. “Dick I made you, now got out there and be a dick.” She says. The crowd can be heard chanting: “Dick! Dick! Dick! Dick!”

They kiss passionately.

Then he whispers, “I love you baby.”

“I love you too,” she says and pokes him away. “Now go make us some money. I still want that house you promised me.”

He walks off, with a dance. He begins to strut. The Dick Bauch theme music begins to blare. Dick Bauch struts out onto the stage.

The Announcer begins: “Laaaaay-dieeees and Gentllllle-men, you know him and you love him. You can’t get enough of him, you want him every day, every night and you want him soooo bad. Sometimes it hurts. Ladies and Gentlemen please welcome Dick! Dick Bauch.” Dick comes dancing out.

Dick dances left, Dick dances right. Dick struts, Dick does a twirl. Dick struts, Dick dances left. Dick dances right. The crowd is dancing too, the floor is full of the audience, they dance left. They dance right, they strut.

The music lowers, a voice comes over the system. It’s Dick.

“Okay you people, get off my dance floor. None of you got moves, you just did what I did. Isn’t there any original people out there? Or are you all unique, just like everyone else.”

The crowd chuckles. They clear the floor.

Dick stands on the stage surveys the crowd. He spots someone, he walks up to her. She smiles nervously.

Dick licks his thumb and reaches for her forehead. She suddenly clues in, she pulls back.

“Hey what?”

“What are you doing?” She asks.

“I was gonna check if your eye brows were real.” The crowd gasps. Pa-toom-pa!

“Fawwk. Don’t touch me.”

“Whoa, you’re just a bit touchy.”

She quickly puts her hands over her eye brows.

“That’s one thing I loved about Anke, you know, my ex. The one that got away. Her eye brows were real. They were perfect, so was she.” The Woman licks her thumb and rubs his eye-brow.

“Ooooh, I could get used to that.” Pa-toom-pa!

Dick laughs. He reaches out his hand to the woman, “hey welcome to the Dick Bauch show. Tonight were about touchiness, too many feelings, you know all that bla bla stuff, we men loooove to listen to. Especially when we’re trying to watch some porn.”

Pa-toom-pa! She doesn’t trust him. The crowd laughs.

“You kinda remind me of Bianca right now. You have the same lookl, she’s always pissed off at me.” The Drummer does a quick roll. The crowd cheers.

Backstage, Bianca shakes her head, smiles and laughs. Dick Bauch walks back to the stage.

“We all have a pity party, I have letter from The Pity Party mail-bag.” He holds up a letter. “This writer and viewer and fan I assume, of this program. Is wondering why a woman married him, when just the week before, the night before even, before she even said her vows to him, she was sending sweet pictures of herself to another man, they even met for coffee, or maybe had sex, he thinks. Ever since then, he has also hated Rod Stewart. She has gone back several times, to this point as her fuck-up. But, I have never wanted her to bring this up again. It’s in the past, can’t do anything about it. But she always wants to go back to this event as a reason to divorce.”

The crowd says, “awwww.” The drummer rolls.

“Seriously. People this is serious, Rod Stewart can get pretty annoying.” The crowd laughs. “If Bianca insisted on playing Rod Stewart every time we did it, I would divorce her too.” Pa-toom-pa!

Dick continues. “We need to know that some people have a hard time with love. And it sounds like this fella, got hooked up with a woman that must have loved him, because here, he sends some pictures of himself with her in Rome. They look happy and in love hey.”

The crowd agrees.

“Well, these pictures were taken at time, when she said, it was the beginning of the end. He had no clue he says.” Dick holds up the letter again.  “He thought, she was sincerely in love. This is in Rome, fuckin’ Itlay. Not Rome, Georgia.”

The crowd laughs, nods, some shuffle.

“What can we say to this fan? Any words of advice?” Dick asks the audience.

Some in the crowd shuffle, one rises. An assistant runs with a mic in hand, to a man who stands up.

“Dick, I would say that this man is unsure of himself, and the woman was likely in love, and about the guy she messed around with before she married this fan of yours. She shouldn’t have done that.”

“What about the beginning of the end?” Dick asks.

“It ended before they were married, she ended it before she even gave it a chance. Ya, she fucked up. Dick, I think you should tell both of them, where to go.”

The crowd laughs.

“Should I?” Dick laughs, he turns to the rest of the crowd. “Should I? Oh, it takes a lot for Dick to say that.”

The crowd chants, “say it Dick!”

“Well, we need more opinions. Any others?”

The Assistant with the Mic, looks around. Another rises. She runs over.

“I have no idea why this woman would always go back to that event as a reason to divorce. Maybe, when she made love to her husband, she saw that man.”

“Is a real thing? Does that happen?” Dick asks.

The crowd cheers. Dick shrugs.

Dick holds up his hand. “There’s more to the letter.” He continues to read. “But, I can’t help myself. I love her.”

The crowd jumps up and cheers. “Tell them where to go, Dick! Dick! Dick! Dick!”

“Wait, wait, there’s more. I have been a lazy, non-committal husband. I was messing around when I first met her, and continued throughout the marriage. Through emails, texts, snail mail.”

He holds up the letter. “What do I do?”

“Tell’em both where to go, Dick!”

“You know what I will tell them?” the crowd waits. “I would tell them both to get some therapy. Or get some new-to-you Dick. Replace each other and tell each other they have been replaced!  And go fuck a duck! I don’t wanna hear any more shit about these two.”

Dick rips up the letter. The band kicks in, Dick starts to dance.

The Announcer comes over the speaker, “tonight we have a guest, let’s get her out here. Her name is Cher! Let’s welcome Cher!”

Cher walks onto the stage. Dick sits down in his chair, awaiting her. He’s getting into Dick mode. He doesn’t rise for her. She seems a little nervous.

“Don’t be afraid Cher. Cher, Cher like a bear, hiding in her underwear.” Taunts Dick.

“Excuse me?” Taken aback. She sits down slowly.

“Cher. Where you from come?”

“I’m from the Midwest.”

“Oh, enough said. Boring.”

The crowd laughs

“Huh? What do you mean?”

“Nothing, I just know how you think already. You came on the show, so you could come to the big city, take selfies, and hook up at some Irish pub, with a big fully bearded metro-sexual, in a lumberjack shirt.”

The crowd laughs.

“You don’t know me.”

“I know women. Yer all the same!”

“You don’t know this woman.”

“I knew you the minute you walked out here, all shy and easily hurt.”

The crowd, exhales, they gasp.

“C’mon stand up. Let’s go a few rounds.”

She rises.

“Are you easily hurt?”

“Once, but not any more.”

The crowd cheers.

Dick rises too.

She turns and smiles at the crowd. Dick doesn’t.

“C’mon, let’s have a staring contest.”

Cher is mad at Dick.

“C’mon closer, let’s see if you can handle Dick.” She takes a small step back.

The crowd laughs, the drummer does a roll.

They stand face to face. They speak flatly, both not wanting to break the stare.

“I have a question for you. What would you decide for the couple, me and the audience just discussed.”

“I would say to the man who wrote this, to deal with it. Stop making a fuss and accept the good memories and move on.”

“But, In the words of Dick. What would you tell them?”

“Well, I’m not a Dick.”

The drum rolls. The crowd cheers.

“I like that.”

“Why are you on the show?”

“Whatever it was, I’m over it now.”

“You know what, who cares.”

The crowd whoops, and laughs. Another quick drum roll.

“What do you think about their trip to Rome?”

“She wasn’t able to give what she never received.”

“What would that be?”

“Love.”

“Cher I like you. I don’t like many people.”

Cher smiles.

“Ha, I won.” Dick shouts.

The Announcer comes back over the Speakers: “Looks like Cher couldn’t handle Dick!”

The crowd cheers.

The lights go down, “Cher let’s look at some pictures.” Says Dick. The crowd cheers, for the slide-show. “I can’t even remember why you’re on the show.”

“I told you, I am over it.”

“Oh ya. You’re the boring one. Did anyone ever call you that?”

The crowd bursts out laughing.

“Dick, don’t go there.”

“Ha ha, not the first time I been told that.” Pa-toom-pa! The crowd laughs.

“Okay. Lets look at a slide.” Dick continues.

CLICK!

“Oops, that’s not her. How’d that get in there?” Says Dick.

“Who’s she?” Asks Cher.

“She was a slice on the side.” Dick replies.

The Announcer asks, “a slice on the side, of whom Dick?”

“Anke, the love of my life.”

“You cheated on the love of your life?”

“Well, I was messing around with this woman you see here, just as I started to see my ex-wife.”

“Ooooh that’s Scandalous Dick!”

The crowd shouts in unison.

“Oh Dick!”

“Ya sorry, Dick’s not perfect.” Dick concedes.

PA-TOOM –PA!

Dick addresses the crowd. “Let’s give it up for my guest tonight. Cher! She’s a strong, confident young lady who has already dealt with it, whatever that was. We need more people like her.”

He turns to Cher. “Not to be a Dick, but I would love to take you out for an all-you-can-eat Chinese food buffet, get married at a drive through wedding chapel in Vegas, then drive to Reno get the whole thing annulled.”

The drum rolls. The crowd cheers.  “And what about that couple?” Dick asks Cher.

“I think they could work it out.”

“You heard it people. Cher has spoken.”

The crowd cheers.

“Thank you and good night!”