#I’ll create something reminiscent of the past and maybe I’ll be the only one to enjoy them

[56thingsinaname]

I need a multiple button so bad

Thinking a lot about pursuing artistic endeavors in a professional capacity but not making it your whole life and livelihood forever and ever. If you're already doing one of these things professionally, or working towards that, try to pick something else!

[unconventional-lawnchair]

We'll heal together: Chapter Six

Seven Taylor Swift

Sirius Black x Reader (Past) / Severus Snape x Reader (Platonic-Past)

Masterlist

Summary: The reader reminisces on some old friends of hers. Harry starts seeing a curious fox.

Cw: Use of {Y/N}, Mean Snape, Slut shaming, Curses, Avery and Mulciber, Fights, mentions of child abuse, toxic friendships (please reach out if I missed something}

Wc- 5462

A/n: This is mostly more filler for the characters relationships

You only stopped when you reached the road. Looking all around, you allowed yourself to transform back. You truly hoped that you already passed the hardest part of your escape plan. You knew you had to get to king's landing, there were other trains to take you to and from Hogwarts Valley, as to how to get there…

You wondered, slowly raising your wand to the street and took a deep breath. Here goes it. “Lumos.”

You gave it a few minutes before you grew anxious and began to look around the street. It felt like an hour had passed, maybe more, but the moon hadn't even shifted in the sky. “Heyy! Witch in distress here!” You wiggled your arms about. “Lost and uhm.. stranded and all!” You shouted and put your hands on your hips. Tapping your foot, you clicked your tongue and began to wonder if the Knight Bus was even a thing anymore.

As if to spite your skepticism you suddenly heard the rowdy bus. Eyes snapping up to it with a bright smile. That's more like it.

~~

You could have sworn the Knight Bus drove more responsibly in your younger years. Maybe you were just used to the humdrum of muggle life, the slow and easy. Regardless, you managed to get to kings crossing in one piece. Shifting into a fox and hiding in one of the upper compartments in the near empty train was simpler then you thought it would be. 

So much nostalgia rushed through you as you passed the magical barrier to the platform. You walked and skittered past people, hiding in their luggage and hopping from cart to cart to get inside the train. You walked down the mostly empty train car, beady eyes taking in the familiar interior. It felt like it was from another lifetime. A lifetime that was so cruelly ripped from you.

~~ 

“Excuse me!” You heard a high pitched feminine voice call out to you. Turning your head, you saw a young girl. She had long red hair that reached her back, bright green eyes and a stern determined look. Pulled together with a slight pout, she looked ages wiser than her baby cheeks would lead you to believe.

“Uhm.. Hello?” You called back, turning to look at her fully. You weren't used to people coming up to you without your parents present, most who were forced to be meek and reserved, respectful with you as if you were the superior. At least, that's what your father always told you and everyone else around. As if the memory reminded you, you straightened your back and tried to put on a sour expression of indifference that your mother taught you to do. She was the  master of it after all. “How can I assist you?” You asked in a much more mature and collected tone.

The red head seemed physically thrown for a loop at your sudden change in demeanor. She waved it off as she looked back at her father who was hovering around her sobbing sister, Petunia having an absolute fit and sobbing louder whenever their parents even glanced where you two stood. You winced and turned up your lip. 

Lily’s look turned apologetic, before she looked around quickly and waved her parents off.

“I found someone, mum, da! I’ll be fine!” She called back as you looked around her form to get a better look at the three family members. They looked… Well, a lot like your family’s friends. Snobbish and thick headed. Who you assumed was her father called over.

“Good! Good! Don't be late!” He dismissed her, not looking up as he offered Petunia a stuffed doll and her mom didn't even acknowledge her as she tried to appease the little terror they created. They looked relieved as they left their little girl in the middle of the train station alone. At least your parents knew you were meeting the Potters. Well, you were, if your parents' poor planning didn't end up with you missing your meeting time.

“Was that your sister?” You asked with a gawk, and Lily slowly nodded.

“Unfortunately. I actually was coming to ask you, did you uhm.. Get summoned by a letter too?” Lily leaned closer to you and you purse your lips. What an odd way to phrase it, but you didn't think about it for too long.

“You’re looking for platform nine and three quarters, yeah? Here.” You took her hand without thinking. She was nice, she was like the sun and it brought you a bit of a gooey feeling. Watching that unfold gave you an unexplainable protective feeling of the red head, so you pulled her along. Lining up your carts.. You gestured to the wall and she gave you a scandalized look. “What?”

“The wall. You run at it.” You implored and the girl scoffed. “I may be new to this, but I'm not an utter fool.”

“Like to make a wager?” You mused, allowing yourself to be more playful, she reminded you of the safety James brought you, she was such a soothing presence, you slipped into yourself easily. “Ten Galleons says I walk straight through that wall.”

“What on earth are Galleons?” Lily asked in a bemused tone and your eyes shot open wide at the question.

That's how you met Lily Evans. Your best friend for the next ten years of your life. 

You two eventually made it to the train, walking down the train car corridor, laughing at some stupid mistake Lily had made, leading to a domino line of luggage falling over and crashing open. You two ran as fast as you could to the train before you were spotted. 

“Merlin, we are lucky the Blacks didn't notice that!” You giggled, and Lily gave an easily bright but confused smile. “Blacks?”

You tilted your head at her, your smile remaining but turning confused. What a strange girl. She didn't want to talk about Hogwarts out loud? Now she expects you to believe she hasn't heard of the Black family? It was like she was completely foreign,

“Blacks, the pureblood family?” You pushed and before she could respond a voice called out to her from down the corridor. You both looked up and saw a boy, slightly taller than you both, with an annoyed look as he gestured for her to follow him to his compartment. Lily looked at you and gestured over. 

“Lily?” You asked as you made it to the door and slipped in. you raised your luggage above your head as the black haired boy lifted up Lily’s and put it away for her.

“Oh! Right! My name is Lily, Lily Evans.” She lit up and held out her hand. You mirrored her look and took her hand in your own. 

“{Y/N}! {Y/N} {L/N}.” You introduced and she nodded, mouthing your name as if to get used to the feel on her tongue. You began to shift and make faces at her, trying to copy her, until she noticed and playfully shoved you.

You fell on your seat in a fit of giggles and looked across from you, seeing the quiet boy was already staring at you. You tilted your head and leaned forward, feet kicking out from under your seat. “Hello! Nice to meet you! I’m-”

“{Y/N} {L/N}. The {L/N} family is quite famous.” He snarked back in a sarcastic tone and your face fell, slowly leaning back into your seat. Right. Being around Lily had you forgetting who you were. She was a dangerous kind of fun.

“Yeah...” You mumbled and the boy sneered.

“You are aware Lily Evan’s is muggle born, yeah?” he challenged and your jaw went slack. Oh Merlin, you didn't even think about that. Your father would have your head if he knew you were running around with Mudb- Muggle borns. But Lily was nothing like how your father described, she was quite fun and smart, at least to your twelve year old brain. 

“Is that true?” You asked Lily in a low whisper and Lily pursed her lips. Seems this wasn't the first time she was asked this.

“.. I am.” She answered cautiously and Snape watched you like a hawk as you pouted and deflated. “My dad would be so mad if I told him I was friends with a Muggle born. I am already pushing it with the company I keep, he says.”

Lily pouted and she looked like a kicked puppy, her eyes big and pout heart breaking. You three sat in silence for a moment before Lily spoke up again.

“Do you have to tell him?” She asked and your head snapped over to her. “What? Of course I do.” You mumbled and she narrowed her eyes.

“Why?”

“W-well he's my father, and I can't lie to him.” You argued and she tilted her head.

“But why?”

That stunned you for a moment. When you were younger, the fear of lying was debilitating. Your father could always look into your mind and sort anything out for himself, so the more truth you told the less you would have to deal with the pain. He was cruel and your younger mind has made him out to be an all seeing eye, just daring you to slip up so he could show you just why people feared him. Just why you should fear him too.

“I..”

“He wont find out, I won't tell a soul, would you Severus?” 

The raven haired boy, Severus, seemed stunned by the question. Of course, he caved, and muttered a ‘no.’

Lily had that effect on people. One look in her eyes and you would do anything you were asked of, she had you and Severus wrapped around the very pinkie finger she used to promise you her silence since day one.

Little did you know, a few more months to come, and she would be much the same with you. Lily, Severus, and {Y/N}, would be names that would find themselves in each other's company for years to come. Their names and the tragedy that would follow.

~~

It was morning by the time the train stopped at the Hogsmeade station. You huffed and dragged yourself to your paws. Once you scampered off the train it was much easier to follow the trail. Students were in their classes, and truly, no adult seemed to give a damn about you. You were just another woodland creature. If you did manage to catch someone’s eye, it wasn't hard to lose it in the edges of the forbidden forest.

You chose to stalk deeper into the forest, eventually being able to follow the river up stream, the one that ran straight from the Black Lake. Once you made it out and stumbled across the field. A feeling settled in your stomach you remembered all too well. Regret, hurt, pain, your ears pinned back,you remembered the day so clearly, as you stared at the tree that used to represent your little trio’s friendship. It was hard, being both Severus Snape and James Potter’s friends. When Lily told James around year 3 that if he wanted to impress her to lay off of Snape, you two thought it would be the end of their stupid fights.

That lasted exactly two years.

~~

It has been days since you got your acceptance letter. The weekend that followed you had been a whirlwind of meeting the most remarkable people to ever work as Aurors, working alongside heroes everyday.. Well, from the inside of your cubicle. Your relationship with Alastor moody was shaky at best, but you went in with an impression to make. You weren't just there because your father, or your family, the very two things that did everything in their power to try and stop you from getting in. You came back to school Monday on cloud 9, you felt remarkable for the first time in your life and not because you were told you were.

Not from some suck up, or from your blood status obsessed family. You were remarkable because you worked to get to that point on your own. You had to remember to thank Slughorn for introducing you to the people who ran the program at his Slug club.

There was one person you had not been able to talk to since you got your letter. Severus. Being in the same house you would figure that you two saw a lot of each other. However, he had made some new friends. Friends you didn't exactly like. Avery, for example. He had been trying to get in your good graces since you met him, you knew why, it was painfully clear he wanted the connection to your father and you refused to be a vessel for that. He also spent more time with Mulciber as well.

That boy was a piece of work. You had made your feelings on him known to Snape early on in their twisted little friendship. He had done horrid things to the muggle borns, not to mention how he seemed to get some sick gratification from targeting the weaker women of the school. He had a passion for making any witch with what he called a ‘loud mouth’ his personal target. You had managed to avoid him, aside from a few crude comments here and there about your blood status and making himself known to your father as a potential suitor.

They were vile and whenever you mentioned the behavior to Snape he would simply scoff and go on rants about how you and Lily were never around because you two seemed to worship the ground the boys who tormented him for years walked on. You would always counter by saying he wasn't exactly innocent in their interactions, but it would always dissolve into stupid and petty fights. He would go for blood every chance he got, making sure you knew he prioritized Lily in every interaction. 

Maybe that was when your friendship started to crumble. You knew what he said was to hurt you, that he would never truly mean it. Just like his accusations that you cared more about Potter than him, the length of your friendship meant nothing, and you knew he cared for you more than he cared for most.

And you him.

It got exhausting, however, taking his hurt for yourself. Putting it all on your shoulders as he lashed out for any evidence you cared for him still. It hurt to grow up, clinging to people you knew were bad for you. Severus Snape was bad for you. Saying that out loud broke your heart, because you were still young, and you would still always care for him, you didn't know a thing he could do or say to you that would push you away. Not for long. Because he was someone you knew, someone not many people got to know. 

Severus Snape, the boy who would nag you for not bringing your cloak to Quidditch games but allow you to use his. Snape was the one who would nag you for your grades and give you his study notes. The boy who would absolutely ruin your confidence in potions after a simple mistake, and bring you candy from Honeydukes as an apology. Maybe that was it. He never said it. All the times you told him you cared for him like the rain cares for the breeze, Like how kindling cares for fire. You cared so much you made something dangerous, and it destroyed you.

Still, you held onto that hope that maybe, maybe. He would come around and put down his pride just,,, set it aside for you. It never happened. It did happen for Lily, but she never had to try for him. She didn’t know the times you had to pick up the pieces of him she shattered. It wasn't her fault, not her fault he refused to say it. He would let you know when you hurt him, never that he cared. He would let Lily know he cared, but never when she pushed him too far.

Yet you were the one to destroy it. You always took the blame. You let it happen, as what you had was turning fragile, and you weren't ready to give up on him just yet.

So here you were, walking down the halls to go and tell Snape the news, Because he was your friend, and because he never had to guess if you cared or not. This was his chance. He just needed to show he cared.

You made it to the dungeons but paused as you heard familiar voices fill the halls. You quickly froze and slipped behind a pillar to hide away. Bloody hell, what's your luck? He’s with the two nimrods.

“You know, even if she's a bit of a harlot.” You heard Avery quip and you rolled your eyes. You prayed  for whatever poor soul the boys were talking about.

“She's always around those boys, heard she's doing Remus. A half blood? Go figure,” You heard the snake that was Mulciber speak up next. Your face turned sour and you narrowed your eyes. No.. He wouldn't let them talk about you like that, right? You bit your cheek and continued to listen.

“I wouldn't be surprised if she's doing all of them. That Potter boy and her have been friends since they were kids, can't say I'd keep a witch around that long if she didn't help me out once and a while.” Avery snickered and Mulciber chuckled.

‘True, and that Peter kid is like her pouch pooch. Maybe that's why Sirius hates her so much, shiny new toy and he doesn't have all the boys attention anymore.”

You took some even breaths and steadied your hands that shook with this sudden shock of nausea. Come on Snape. Say something.

“Talking about friends, Snape, you're close to her yeah? Ever had a go?” 

Snape continued to look at his book with a bored expression, “I wouldn't touch her if she paid me.”

Your heart broke. Your eyes closed tight and you clenched your chest. You should of just walked away.

“Why's that? Too busy day dreaming about Evans? Cant say ive ever had a Mudblood before.” Mulciber snarked and Snape's book slammed closed.

“Don't call her that. Don't talk about her like that.” 

That was your last straw. You turned sharply on your heel and walked past them. Dashing right up the stairs, You did not spare them a glance. If you had, you would have seen the look of shock and guilt all over Snape’s face. 

You didn't remember running, or what you were thinking. But there you were, at the Fat Lady, trying to hide your tears in your sleeve as you knocked. You tried to mutter acknowledgement to the painting as she cooed and tried to comfort you as you waited, but nothing but a sob came out.

The door opened and you faced Marlene. The girl gasped and didn't even think before she pulled you in and closed the painting.

Next thing you knew, you were wrapped up in a warm blanket you knew to be Peter’s, a cup of warm brown liquid you used for steam to clear your nose enough to breathe. You knew this mug. It was Remus’s. You tried to stifle another onslaught of tears, as Marlene robbed your back from where you laid on her lap.

Peter was helping to take off your shoes and talking about his day to you. He knew you weren't listening, but giving you something to fill the silence. Remus had gone to get James, and Lily was rushing down the stairs when she heard you were in tears. Mary and Alice were not far behind.

When everyone was there you begrudgingly told them what happened. You watched their expressions. Your heart melted a bit, at how they seemed to react to the news. They were repulsed, not just for Lily, but for you. You had never seen James so calm, so careful with his words despite his clear anger.

You set the drink down and slowly melted into the comfort you friends offered, not even noticing as James dragged the boys aside to talk about something. You just let yourself be coddled as you did your best to forget Snape’s words.

~~

The next day was better. You had Remus escort you back to the Prefect dorms, your walk was quiet but you felt safer then you had that entire day. He made an excuse to Slughorn as to why you weren’t there for your duties. He was even there early to your dorm in the morning to make sure you got out of bed on time and got ready. Honestly, you felt guilty, enjoying his presence so much. 

You went through most of the day like that, until your free period. You were shocked to see Remus wasn't waiting for you, instead, Lily was. You smiled and you both linked arms to walk down to the field. You were still mad at Severus, so you hoped he wasn't there. On some degree, you have to admit, you wanted to yell at him, shout and tear him apart like he did to you.

But you couldn't. Because he was your friend, and because he never had to guess with you. He knew. That hurt worse.

As you both made it down to the Black Lake, you and Lily froze at the sight laid out in front of you.

Snape, dangled upside down by his ankle as James and Sirius threw taunts his way.

“James Potter!” Lily shouted and ran down the hill, you weren't really thinking before you shouted a spell at James, “Expelliarmus!”

His wand was smacked out of his hand, and next came Lily’s palm across his face. Sirius gave a low whistle at the contact. You ran down and slowed Snapes fall, “Severus! Are you okay?” You asked and tried to help him up. 

“Get off of me!” He snapped at you. You flinched away with wide eyes and he snarled at you. “Always to the rescue, huh, {L/N}? Compensating for your name sake?” 

He shouted out in anger and you let him. Again, letting him tear you apart. But this was different. He didn’t stop. He didn't calm down. His words just got sharper. You waited, this was the first time he berated you in front of a crowd.

“You see what they've done to me for years and you still pick them! You still hang around them! I don't need your pity! I don't need your help!” He snapped and Lily walked over cautiously, knowing your choice to handle Snape’s temper was always to let it pass. She didn't want to aggravate you. “Severus-”

“Not now you worthless Mudblood!” He shouted, eyes still narrowed on you. That gave you the perfect view of his eyes going as wide as an owl as he realized what had left his lips. He turned on his heel and stared at Lily whose jaw was slack and eyes turning glossy. She turned sharply and began to run off, and you let your face fall into your palms.

Remus was by your side in a second, wrapping his arms around you and ignoring Snape as his mouth opened and closed like a fish, muttering pathetic apologies. 

“Let’s go.” Remus muttered, you could feel how he was tensing, holding himself back, You simply listened. Everything had happened so fast. You just remember how he looked at you when you glanced back. Pathetic. He looked like he was going to fall to his knees. If he did, Remus didn't let you see it. Last thing you saw was James running after Lily towards the castle. As Remus leads you off to docks, away from everyone's eyes.

~~

You winced at the memory, eyes slowly lidding as you carefully stalked around the place it all happened, eyes locked on it, like it would come running after you. Once you had made enough distance you dashed off to the school. Slipping passed the gate with practiced ease, your eyes trailed up and your mawl dropped open in shock. Dementors? What in Merlin's sweet name were they doing here?

You pushed the thought aside, you didn't want to think about it. The great thing about having them as guards, however, not a single one noticed you as you made it to the school grounds.

You looked around before hurrying off and around the field. You stopped as you noticed the Quidditch court, with red ribboned boys flying around. It took you exactly three seconds to ponder if James Potter’s son would be in Gryffindor, and on their team.

If a fox could click their tongue, you would. Hurrying out further across the bridge, you snuck your way under the large tarps that covered the scaffolding. Slipping your way up and over, you managed to get a viewpoint from between the benches. 

You didn't have to look long. As if on instinct, your eyes found him. A seeker too, you wondered if he was as cocky as James in the field. Slowly, your little tail began to shuffle around in excitement. He looked so much like James, but you could also see the boy you held all those years ago. 

He was running his heart out, you watched his eyes follow after something you couldn't see, before he launched himself forward with a brilliant smile. Oh that smile.

~~

“{Y/N}! Sirius! Come in!” You heard Lily's voice call from the living room. You and him were holding gifts, you had brought an empty photo album and several of your enchanted photos from Hogwarts, ready to sit down with Lily and make a time capsule of sorts for Harry when he went. Something with a cheesy ‘now it's your turn’ at half way for him to finish off.

Sirius had brought some dishes he made with your help, so Lily and James didn't have to cook for the next few months while Harry was still small.

“Where is my nephew?!” Sirius demanded in a playful rawr, walking into the living room, shoving the dishes onto James who sighed and waxed on about being forgotten for a tot. As he passed you to get to the kitchen you got on your toes and kissed his cheek, that seemed to satisfy the attention quota of his.

You walked deeper in and lit up at the sight of Lily, handing over the little bundle to Sirius. He looked so happy holding Harry, it made your heart flutter. You bit your lip and tried to fend off the baby fever.

Setting down the book and photos you walked over to Lily. She held the couch to stand and when you opened your arms she practically collapsed into yours. You giggled and pressed your nose to her cheek and she gave a sigh of approval. “Missed you.” She mumbled and you nodded. “Missed you too.”

You broke away from each other with a quick peck on the cheek, and you turned to meet the wrap of blankets in your fiancés arms.

“Oh, look at you.” You cooed and Sirius smiled at you. “Cute one, ain't he?” 

“Very.” You agreed and reached over to let him grab your finger. He lit up in a smile and you mimicked it, sticking out your tongue and gave a delighted gasp when it made him giggle. Sirius chuckled. 

“I've never been good with kids.” You admitted sheepishly. 

“Neither of us. Guess we have our exception.” He teased and you rolled your eyes fondly at him. “For now.” You whispered against his sleeve and Sirius's smile twitched before James returned and spoke up. 

“Now that you're here, we wanted to talk to you about something before Remus gets here.” He mused in a serious tone, arm wrapping around Lily's waist as she leaned into him. You felt your heart swell with how love struck Lily looked at James. 

“Oh?” Sirius mused and rested Harry in your arms. You looked down at him and smiled, he again, returned it with a fit of giggles. Oh he was just precious. Oh wow, James Potter, the kid you wouldn't have trusted to watch your owl for a weekend had a small human. One he needed to make sure stayed fed. And breathing. 

“Good luck little guy.” You mumbled to him, in your own little world. “You're gonna need it. Call Auntie {Y/N} whenever you need me.” You gushed.

James fell silent for a moment as he watched you coddle his son. Lily smiled brighter as she looked at Sirius, no other word to describe him but love sick. Absolutely destroyed with what he was seeing. 

“About that.” James cut in and you looked over at James with a pout. He laughed before you could even snap at him. “Before you kill me.”

“We were looking into a godparent for little Hars.” Lily whispered and your eyes widened, looking at Sirius. 

“I wanted Sirius, Lily wanted you.” James continued and you gave the most offended expression you've ever made. “How dare you! I've known you since diapers!”

“Exactly what I told Lily when I tried to argue what a horrible idea it was.” James snickered and Lily hit him with her elbow. 

“So, we compromised. A godmother and godfather.” Lily finished and your jaw went slack, you looked at Sirius with wide hopeful eyes and he returned the look. 

“Y-yes! Yes of course!” You declared quickly and Sirius nodded vigorously before he pulled James into a tight hug. “I'll keep him safe.”

You walk up closer to Lily and she leans her chin on your shoulder. “And I'll make sure he's a proper bloke.” You quipped and Sirius playfully scoffed. “Define proper bloke.”

“Not you.” You teased and he wet his lips with a bright smirk. You turned to Lily and James, tucking Harry on your shoulder. “You two should get some rest. We'll watch Harry for the rest of the day.” You mused and Sirius didn't complain. Taking Harry from you.

“Oh, {Y/N}, you really don't-”

“Go go! Begone! It's godparent bonding time!” You scolded and James laughed, nudging Lily. “I'll run you a bath.” He muttered into her hair and she sighed blissfully. “Sounds like heaven.”

Oh they were love.

You and Sirius stayed that whole night. Cleaning up around the place, taking care of Harry, and keeping the volume low.  Remus came over and you and him worked to distract Harry and Sirius took a nap. That really only consisted of him staring at the muggle tv and flicking through channels. When the actual parents returned you and Sirius went home.

You went home and had one of the most vicious fights you had ever had. 

~~

You shook the thought from your head as you watched Harry land. Slipping through the benches and squeezing your body onto the platform you watched from above before you hurried down the stars behind a fluffy haired girl. She ran on the court, joined by a very familiar redhead. 

You stopped just outside the pitch in the grass, watching as everyone packed up and Harry talked to his friends with such life in his eyes. Your own eyes trailed up to his scar before you tilted your head. You still had a lot of questions on your mind. But now, now was time for observing. His smile, it reminded you so much of your days within these walls. The days you spent with James and Lily, running down the halls and making fools of yourself. You hoped he was having a similar childhood.

You watched him for a few minutes, before he seemed to register your presence. His eyes flicked over to you and you two shared eye contact.

Harry could have sworn to Merlin that the look you gave him, he'd seen before. Just like that, in the meer moments you were there, you were gone. Slithering your way into the forest and into a small den. You scratched your neck out, shaking your fur vigorously, a sign of stress as you tried to figure out what to do next. You didn't want to leave Harry, you didn't want him out of your sight ever again, but you also didn't want Moody sending an Auror strike to find you. Eventually, you relented. You'd go back, practice your apperation again and again until you were able to make it from Wesley's to the forest. You knew you could do it, you'd done it from farther away. You took a deep breath and transformed back.

Time to unrust some wheels.

[ohem1111]

if we truly are getting an elderly centered pack next i NEED them to have a scrapbooking skill or at least a photo album. i can’t keep making secret basements in all my sims houses that they can’t actually access just to put all of the photos on the walls down there. the way they are stored in the inventory absolutely grinds my gears.

it doesn’t even have to be fancy. it could be simple, something similar to the collections ui, just to store and view each photo? maybe with the ability to put them into different categories where you can just look at in there or put in your sims inventory when you want to put them up on the wall or give them to someone. i’m BEGGING.

i’ve put too much thought into to this so i’ll just continue to rambling -

imagine if creating a photo/scrapbook was like making jewelry or knitting.

you go in and choose the cover from more and more options the higher your skill is

choose the emotion of the book (so that when sims look at it they can feel sad if it’s in memory of a past love one, happy if it’s just like a regular family album, maybe flirty if it’s a wedding album or like spicy photo book for your fiancé(e), potential to even make a burn book essentially where sims will feel angry, embarrassed (or playful depending on the child sim’s personality) for a baby book if your parents share it with guests or something, scared if it’s full of black mail idk lol, etc.)

maybe you could also choose who it’s for in this jewelry making style of interface

the amount and quality of photos could add to the quality of the scrapbook overall

maybe you can also store birth/marriage certificates, diplomas and drawing kids make so that you don’t lose them or just have to keep them in their inventory

include a school picture day or even just a “graduation photo” for elementary and high school like they have for college where you just auto get one without having to take it

your sim could get angry while making it if you get a paper cut from having a low skill, happy because you love crafting, confident because you are getting better at the skill. sad from remembering a loved one, etc

it can be kept in the book shelf or maybe a new item similar to the cook book stand could be added so it can be displayed

after it’s made you could look at it, add/take out photos, share moment with others, destroy because you and your partner broke up or something that could have a similar effect to crying it out when they are sad

a new tradition during holidays where you reminisce and look through photos books but child or teen sims could hid it because they hate that tradition or something

but literalllllyyy the only function i would care about is being able to easily store and view photos in game so you can have the option to just by a plain old photo album and store your photos in it, i dont even really need all the fancy stuff above if i can have this one thing lol

if i knew how to make a mod i would be unstoppable LOL

enjoy my cat if you actually read all of that 😂

[kandyrezi]

Kcalb + Wodahs [thesis]

Still working on some fics, but in the meanwhile, I had this post in my drafts for so long and I forgot about it entirely, so I thought I might as well edit and post it now.

I was going to discuss the “Kurotsuno & Sullivan’s relation to Kcalb” theory first, but I got finished with this one a lot faster, so I’ll be posting the former one at a later date. This headcanon post concerns Wodahs & Kcalb + their relation to one another.

This is just for fun, so I apologize for any potential inaccuracies - if that’s the case, then I implore people to point them out so I can try and fix any inconsistencies there might be. This is quite short, but there’s always a lot to talk about.

I want to first start off by not focusing on either Kcalb or Wodahs, but on other characters far distant from TGG to give a bit more context and background behind my theory. Namely, this image here is quite intriguing.

Ivlis, Rosaliya, & Reficul are labeled as, “Manufactured by God” - that is, they were created by the God of the world they (used to) reside in.

Two appear to be missing from this picture, leaving out Satanick & Kcalb, but they obviously had to appear somehow. They did not materialize out of thin air by nothingness - we've seen previously, as an example, Siralos created Ivlis (& Igls) from flames, Meikai was created from a star by Satanick. So, if their corresponding Gods did not make them out of something, then where did they come from?

Speaking out of materializing out of thin air, All of the Gods ALSO had to “appear” somehow, as they are not clearly the highest deities in DSPverse, considering Vicers, Justim, Photon, Nortkele, Reminiscences are all above them in terms of ranking and categorizing, although it's largely unknown what they are supposed to represent (in the grander scheme) or even what species they are. They could also similarly just be cosmic deities, but higher-ranking than the gods we currently know most about.

It is likely, as one of many possibilities, that either Justim or Vicers created them. Judging by the image below - by how Justim is in focus and standing in front of all the other gods - I’m inclined to think they are the one who created all the Gods, at the very least, since they have been stated to be “God of Gods” - yet Vicers has never been called “Devil of Devils”, which would make sense if Vicers only created two of them (Satanick and Kcalb), as the rest of the devils were created by their own corresponding Gods.

Justim: *gestures behind them* these r my ocs! ^ u ^

(Not really related as such, but Photon and Nortkele are fairly obvious in a sense what they’re supposed to represent (it’s pretty much spelled out in their names), but that leaves Reminiscences… so, maybe they (she?) are a personification of “Matter” while their dark counterpart is a personification of “Antimatter”? Either way, they’re supposed to represent at least something floating around in space? An atom? A neutron? We’ll have to wait patiently for a while longer for another clue.)

Anyway, back to Vicers.

“The power to bestow life and the power to take it all away.”

So, Vicers can both create and destroy, it seems like. If he really did make Kcalb, he could have bestowed the latter with his destruction powers.

Vicers & Justim’s relationship seems quite complex, they’ve been inconsistently described as several things ( “can’t stand eachother, can’t live without one another either” / “used to have a big fight in the past”, and now “lovers” ), all these facebook relationship statues could be spread out within a specific span of time; maybe they started off as friends, then got into a conflict with one another, almost started (or did start) a war, then they made up, but it was still quite tense between them. At long last, they settled their differences and then became friends again, eventually lovers.

Wodahs could similarly have been created by either Vicers or Justim (or they could have created them together, as sort of a peace treaty and proof that two opposite beings can co-exist together, but I am more inclined towards only Vicers having manufactured Kcalb, as well as Wodahs.)

EDIT: Future!me has come to edit this wall of text before posting, having now read some of the more recent information from one of DSP's drawing livestreams. "Did Etihw create Wodahs?" question was answered with an uncertain: "You can say yes AND no to that." well, that kinda throws the "Vicers created Wodahs" theory out the window, doesn't it?

So, what if Etihw gave life to something that originally belonged Kcalb? Like a feather from a crow?

Characters of different species can be “blood siblings” as we’ve seen (Igls Unth is an angel, Ivlis is a demon, but they’re still technically 'siblings' created by the same god, if you see them as such), so could Kcalb & Wodahs be the same? It might be more appropriate to refer to them as half-siblings in this case.

Reficul & Sol / Ivlis & Igls Unth “Devil and the Head Angel” - both duos are considered blood siblings, so why couldn’t Wodahs & Kcalb be considered the same? (granted, Reficul used to be an angel, so using her is kind of a flimsier example.)

I personally can’t get behind either 1) “Kcalb used to be an angel” or 2) “Wodahs used to be a demon” theories, because

1) For Kcalb to have been angel, he would have to have been created by Etihw in the first place, but that’s clearly (as we saw in the previous point) not the case.

2) Wodahs has been an angel since he was a young babey;

and a FALLEN angel, no less? Gray wings in DSP’s universe are associated with damnation by god... hmm…

We’ve seen angels turn into demons, but never a demon turning into an angel. The concept of "redemption for your sins" doesn’t appear to exist with Gods & their angels. Once you’ve turned into a demon, there is no "reversing" that effect or gaining back the status as an angel. It’s the same with biblical/mythological concept of angels/demons (as all fallen angels automatically become demons, but never in reverse).

Since all angels are typically created by Gods, Wodahs could possibly be an outlier and considered not a true angel, but a “farce” in a sense he was created out of something that originally belonged to a Devil, hence why his wings have been gray since he was a child.

He’s also quite brutal in some instances in TGG in contrast to most angels; he keeps bullying/purposefully reminding Kcalb about his missing eye (instead of just letting go of the past), chokes out Grora and almost breaks her leg when she messed up his flowerbeds, and his GGT!self was seen trying to drunkenly molest GGT!Grora in one of the omakes...)

But, maybe in the past things were different with someone like Etihw (who is generally considered an anomaly amongst the other gods), who was willing to give Wodahs actual pure white wings and halo when he left Kcalb to go over to Etihw’s side during the war (thus is the reason Kcalb took his eye for betraying him in the first place).

He still shows more loyalty to Kcalb in the game over Etihw despite everything, which reaffirms my theory of him not having a very close relation to Etihw post-war.

Curious to hear anyone else's thoughts on this!

[its-jaytothemee]

Until I Met You - Chapter 41

Chapter 41: In Darkness We See Your Truth

Pairings: Halsin x Tav

Word count: 4,059

Rating: Currently M, will be Explicit in later chapters.

Chapter 1

Read on AO3

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Summary: Tav and the gang make the return to Shar's Gauntlet to find the Nightsong. Part 41 of the slow burn fic. Tav and Halsin POVs.

Tags: Slow burn, mutual pining, hurt/comfort, emotional hurt/comfort, fluff, eventual love confessions, eventual smut, angst, implied past rape/non-con and abuse, graphic description of injuries, brief suicidal thoughts.

A/N: Tav and Shadowheart have a couple of heart to heart conversations....are the girls done fighting??

Tav’s night was restless. The realization that they would be going further into the Shar temple later that day made it difficult to relax. Not to mention the late-night conversation she had with Gale.

Once it was clear she wouldn’t be getting any more rest, she decided to go and sit by the fire instead. Shadowheart was awake and staring intently at the flames in front of her.

“Quiet night?” Tav asked.

“So far nothing out of the ordinary,” Shadowheart replied, her eyes never leaving the fire.

“I can take over watch if you’d like to get some rest.” Tav took a seat across from her.

“That’s alright, I’m not really sure I could get much rest right now anyhow.” Shadowheart’s voice was small and quiet.

“I suppose this could be a rather important day for you,” Tav said with a light sigh. She tried to keep the sarcasm out of her voice, but could still hear it creeping in.

“I can only hope,” she responded, seeming unphased by Tav’s comment.

The two of them sat in uneasy silence for a while. Tav fiddling with her hands in her lap, Shadowheart poking at the fire with a long stick.

“Tav, I…” Shadowheart sighed and averted her eyes. “I never told you how sorry I was that you had to find your brother here.”

Tav’s head snapped up to look at her.

“I’ve seen how the cursed corpses behave,” she continued, her voice softer, “I can’t imagine seeing someone you love warped into that.”

“Thank you, Shadowheart,” she whispered back.

“You…you’ve been supportive the last few days while we made our way through the Gauntlet. I know that wasn’t easy for you to do, but I appreciate it nonetheless.”

Tav was taken aback by the sincerity in her tone.

“You’re welcome.” She smiled back at her. “If I can be honest, it’s a bit of relief that I don’t have to stomach these trials myself. No offense.”

“None taken,” she snorted.

“If you do complete the trials and prove yourself, will you still be traveling with us?”

“I suppose I’ll have to wait and see what Lady Shar has to say about it. She may give me a new assignment once I become one of her Dark Justiciars.”

Tav chewed on her lip for a moment, unsure of how to respond.

“Although, it’s unlikely. Surely this Absolute would be of interest to her as well if I was sent to retrieve the artefact. I wasn’t aware of its function when I was assigned the mission, but now I wonder if she perhaps had her own motives against the cult for obtaining it.”

“Not a bad theory,” Tav admitted. “I suppose we’ll have an answer soon enough, though.”

They sat and watched the fire for a little while longer, the silence between them more comfortable this time. Tav watched the smoke from the fire curl up in dancing tendrils. The veil it created over Shadowheart’s face reminiscent of the barrier she felt between them.

Surprisingly, Shadowheart was the first one to speak again.

“Soon after we met, you saw this wound on my hand flare up. Before you knew what it was, you asked if there was something you could do to help,” she recalled.

“I did.”

“You sounded so sincere,” Shadowheart laughed halfheartedly, “I thought perhaps we’d get on better than we have.”

“I was being sincere,” Tav responded. “I thought perhaps it was an old wound that hadn’t healed properly, that maybe I could help mend it. Which I realize now sounds ridiculous when I was talking to a cleric who could have done it herself.”

Shadowheart let out an amused hum.

“Once I found out it was given to you by Shar…” She tried to find the words, but she was no longer sure of where she was going with her thoughts.

“I can’t say I’m not used to the reaction,” Shadowheart admitted. “Most everywhere I go I see Shar worship vilified. Mainly by those who didn’t understand my Lady’s purpose.”

Tav bit her tongue, despite the hateful words gathering at its tip. Shadowheart was reaching out, sharing, she didn’t want to push her away right now.

“That…that must have been difficult. Being met with nothing but dissention wherever you go.”

“It could be, I suppose it helps that I can’t remember many of those times.” Tav caught a brief smirk on Shadowheart’s face.

“Was…was that a joke?” She grinned back at her.

“I think it was.” She returned the smile.

Tav watched as Shadowheart flexed her right hand, hearing the light pops in her fingers as she wiggled them.

“Does it hurt for long after?” she asked softly.

“Not usually,” Shadowheart grunted as she readjusted on her seat, “I think it’s just flared up often enough in a short time that the muscles are a little sore right now.”

“Do all Sharrans have a wound like that?”

Shadowheart hesitated before answering. “No, not that I’ve seen.”

“Then…why you?” Tav asked the question with genuine interest, but Shadowheart started to lean away from her.

“It’s just something I have to live with, and trust that I’ll have confirmation that my suffering wasn’t needless.”

She sounded so hopeful, yet there was the smallest crack in her voice. Tav had no idea why Shar had chosen her to torment, but something in her gut told her it wasn’t a blessing.

“Of course. You don’t have to share anymore about it if you don’t want to.”

Shadowheart seemed to relax as she dropped the subject, until Lunari came padding over to flop down at Tav’s feet. She saw Shadowheart tense once more, keeping a wary eye on the wolf.

“Sorry, I can send her to my tent if you’d like,” Tav offered.

“No, no it’s alright.” She kept her eyes on Lunari but didn’t move away from her. “How did you find her?”

Tav smiled at the memory before she spoke.

“I found her as a pup almost three years ago. Her mother had been killed by some hunters, and she was the only survivor of the litter. She was curled up next to her mother’s body, half-starved and frightened.” Lunari nuzzled up against Tav’s legs. “She’s been by my side ever since.”

“She’s very loyal,” Shadowheart whispered.

“My best girl,” Tav chuckled as she scratched the wolf’s ears.

“How did she get abducted onto the nautiloid as well?” She still tracked each of Lunari’s movements carefully as they spoke.

“She didn’t. I used to have an amulet that let her reside in another plane when needed. It cracked when we crashed, so I haven’t been able to have her return to it since.”

“Do you still have it?” Shadowheart asked, head cocked to the side.

“Somewhere in my tent.”

“Perhaps Gale and I could take a look at it sometime. See if we couldn’t get it working again.”

She felt tears sting her eyes at the suggestion. “That…That’s very kind of you to offer, thank you. Truth be told, I’ve been very worried about her. Usually if things get too dangerous, I can just whisk her away to safety, but not anymore.”

“Could…” Shadowheart’s breathing had quickened. “Could I pet her?”

Tav must have looked shocked.

“Don’t look at me like that,” Shadowheart groaned, “it’s just…I feel like I need to get over this fear and perhaps…she could…help.”

“Of course,” Tav smiled back at her, “just come give her a little scratch behind the ears, she’ll love you forever.”

Shadowheart took a deep breath before making her way around the fire. She reached out one hand and slowly moved toward Lunari. Tav watched her squeeze her eyes shut as her hand landed on the wolf’s head. Lunari’s tail thumped on the ground as soon as her hand met the soft fur under her ears.

“Oh, that’s not so bad I suppose. I just needed – Ah!”

Shadowheart let out a startled yelp when Lunari licked her wrist, causing her to stumble back and fall onto the ground. Tav cackled loud enough she was sure she’d wake the whole camp. To her surprise, Shadowheart joined in after a moment.

“I guess I’m still a little jumpy,” she said as she stood up and brushed herself off.

“That’s okay, you can always try again tomorrow,” Tav assured her.

The two of them shared a moment of content silence.

“I uh, I think I will try to get a little bit of rest, even if I just close my eyes for a bit,” Shadowheart said after a few minutes.

“Of course…goodnight, Shadowheart.” Tav smiled back at her.

She responded with a small nod before walking away to her tent.

***

Halsin didn’t expect to see anyone but Tav awake by the fire, yet when he left the confines of his tent, he saw Shadowheart standing off to the side with her. It was only a moment later that Shadowheart turned to go to her tent.

But she wasn’t storming away or even looking mildly annoyed, neither was Tav. She was…smiling. A genuine smile as she watched Shadowheart walk away. Usually when he saw the two of them speaking, he was ready to pull them apart by their braids if necessary to keep them from fighting.

Shadowheart saw Halsin coming out to the fire and gave him a small smile.

“Good morning, Shadowheart.” He called out as they approached one another. “How is your side feeling?”

“Much better, thank you.”

“That is good to hear.” He gave her a small pat on the shoulder as she passed by him before continuing on his path toward Tav.

“Good morning, my friend,” he said softly as he reached her side.

“Morning.” Tav smiled wider as she looked up at him.

“You two seemed to be rather sociable,” he teased. “Not a hint of a glare could be found in your eyes.”

“Well, she has been helping us work our way through Shar’s temple. I certainly don’t want to be the one taking those trials.” Tav shuddered at the thought. “I may not agree with her, but she’s been amiable ever since our…incident.”

“I’m glad to hear it.” Halsin took a seat next to her.

“What do you think we’ll find today when we go back?”

“Nothing pleasant, unfortunately. Regardless of any amity with Shadowheart, we’ll be delving deeper into a temple of Shar.”

“That we are,” she sighed.

This could be your last chance…tell her how you feel.

The words that came out of his mouth were not the words he had formed in his mind, but he meant them, nonetheless.

“Whatever happens today, Tav, I want you to know how grateful I am to have met you.”

She turned to smile at him again. “The feeling is very mutual.”

Tav looped one of her arms around his and laid her head on his shoulder.

Despite the anxiety trying to creep into his mind, Halsin tried to just enjoy another morning talk with her, desperately hoping that it wouldn’t be the last.

***

When they returned to the Gauntlet, Tav found herself on yet another elevator ride.

She muttered curses under her breath as she climbed onto the disc. This ride was even longer than the others, causing her to bury her face in Halsin’s shoulder again. Once they had lurched to a stop, Tav hurried off the platform before it could move again.

Shadowheart held the last umbral gem in her hand, taking a deep breath before seating it into the pedestal identical to the one they just used above.

The door in front of them parted to grant them access to another room. A soft blue glow could be seen emanating from the end of the corridor.

As they made their way in, the air around them seemed to shift. Tav felt it start to encircle Shadowheart, like an embrace from an old friend.

With Tav, on the other hand, this presence seemed to be trying to repel her. She felt the need to look over her shoulder, could feel invisible eyes boring into her soul. Everything about this room screamed to Tav you’re not welcome here.

But Shadowheart marched onward, so Tav followed.

They came to a shimmering pool. Shadowheart fell to her knees at its edge, lost in prayer.

“Okay, I’m ready,” she said decisively.

“Where exactly are we supposed to go?” Karlach looked around the room.

“Below.” Shadowheart took a deep breath and stepped into the pool.

Tav followed, taking slow, tentative steps forward. Despite her cautious approach, she felt her balance waver. Cold, invisible hands were grasping at her legs, pulling her deeper…deeper…

Then, she was sinking. Falling. Careening downward in an uncontrollable freefall.

She screamed, but no sound came. Her throat burned with the effort as she was dragged further down.

The soft glow of the pool had quickly given away to nothingness. Tav saw nothing but the black of the void all around her until…

She was awake.

She blinked away the strange nightmare that brought her here and found herself staring up into an endless expanse of shadowy fog.

Groans from the others shocked energy back into her muscles. She got up and helped pull everyone to their feet.

“We made it,” Shadowheart gasped. “The Shadowfell, Lady Shar’s domain.”

“Oh, you’ve got to be fucking kidding me.” Tav peered over the edge of the rock where they landed.

Nothing but a tempest of clouds and haze surrounded them. She thought the shadows around Reithwin were cold, but they may as well have been summertime in Amn compared to the horrible chill she felt here in the Shadowfell.

In the middle of this strange collection of levitating rocks, far beneath them, was a large, circular platform of sorts. It was illuminated and Tav could just make out something in its center but couldn’t tell what it was from their current spot.

“That’s where we’ll find the Nightsong.” Shadowheart pointed toward that large platform.

“How in the hells are we supposed to get down there?!” Tav’s voice rose higher with each word until they were a shrill cry.

She smirked back at her. “We jump.”

Shadowheart took a running start before jumping to the nearest rock beneath them. Karlach cackled wildly as she followed her down. Tav’s breath caught in her throat until she watched the two of them land with ease, light as a feather.

“Last one to the bottom is an ogre’s ball sack,” Astarion snipped at Tav before following them off the edge.

“I’ll gladly wear that title if it means I don’t have to jump.”

“Come on, Tav.” Halsin held his hand out with a smile.

“I…I can’t…” She shook her head and backed away from him until she realized she would just be falling off the other edge of the rock. “Just come back for me. I’ll just stay here and make sure no one tries to follow us.”

She sat down and crossed her arms and legs like a petulant child. Halsin still had his hand outstretched.

One by one, their other companions had leaped from their starting rock, gradually making their way further into the Shadowfell. She refused to meet Halsin’s gaze.

“Tav…”

When she finally looked up again, he had a patient smile on his face.

“I won’t let you fall. I swear it.”

She spared one more glance over the edge, regretting it immediately. But for some reason, she found herself standing and taking his hand.

“On three?” Halsin held her hand tight as he pulled her to the edge. She could only nod in response.

“One.”

“Two.”

“Three.”

They jumped together, landing safely and gracefully on the rock beneath them.

Four more times they had to do that. By the time they were catching up to the others at the bottom, Tav’s nerves were fried, and she was lightheaded from holding her breath.

Seeing the so-called Nightsong did nothing to help those ailments.

In the center of the large platform, there was a woman. Not just a woman…an aasimar. Tav recognized the telltale markings that lined her skin.

She was bound by an invisible cage of sorts. Anytime she strayed too close to its edge, translucent, ghostly hands would reach up to pull her back.

“I have felt you coming. The first in a century.”

The woman spoke calmly but her eyes smoldered with rage.

Tav looked around, confused. Halsin seemed to share in her concern as Shadowheart strolled up to her.

“You, who have come to seek the praise of your wicked goddess. You, who have come to drive a dagger through my heart.” She tried to storm forward toward them, but the spectral hands came back to grab her arms and legs, pulling her back from the edge.

“Her fate is mine to seal. Let me handle this.” Shadowheart spun around to snap at Tav.

“Shadowheart,” Tav started, her heart pounding, “is this truly what you want?”

She hesitated. “I…yes, I think so. I mean, my whole life’s been leading to this. I can’t turn back now.”

“But…but the Nightsong isn’t just some relic, she’s a person. You’d sacrifice her life without question?”

“There is no question to ask, Tav. My Lady has asked this of me, so I must do as I’m bid.”

“Well, well, well,” the aasimar chuckled. “What’s that I sense? A spear intended for my heart, empowered by your goddess. Empowered to kill the child of a god.”

Tav hardly dared to breathe as she listened. The child of which god?

“Do you not know who I am, little assassin? Do you not know the name Dame Aylin?” She paced back and forth in her invisible cage. “For I know you.”

Shadowheart’s hands trembled around the spear, gripping it tight as her knuckles turned white.

“Just a lost little girl, frightened by wolves in the dark,” she snapped at Shadowheart.

“What…what did you say?”

A small crack in Shadowheart’s defenses caused Tav’s tadpole to writhe in excitement, their minds melding for just a moment. Long enough for her to see a fraction of a memory.

A young girl with black hair favoring a scratch across her nose. The wolf in front of her snarled as dark mages circled around it. The connection faded as quickly as it came, but not before the realization could slam into Tav like a charging deep rothé.

Oh gods…I’ve had it all wrong…

At that moment, she saw Shadowheart in the same light as this Dame Aylin did. A lost little girl, looking for guidance. In the back of her mind a thought nagged at her. What if Shar had seen that lost little girl and promised her guidance only to give her the abyss instead?

What if…what if she could still be swayed from this path?

A new look of vulnerability gleamed in her eyes, causing her to look so much younger. Being an elf, Tav sometimes forgot how truly young so many of the others around her were. She had a hard time imagining how they managed to grow and live such full lives in such a short span.

Regardless, Tav was certain that they could not allow Shadowheart to kill this aasimar.

She knew what she needed to do.

***

Halsin watched with bated breath as the argument unfurled before him.

“You have to decide for yourself, Shadowheart. You cannot allow your goddess to control your every whim!” Tav marched forward to plead with their companion.

Tears shone in Shadowheart’s eyes as she held her glare against Tav’s. The air boiled with her anger, stewing them in its hateful brine.

“This is my mistress’ will, my life’s purpose!” she yelled back at Tav.

The others around him chimed in, pleading with Shadowheart not to follow through. Halsin desperately wanted to state his case, but there was nothing he could say to her that she didn’t already know. She was well aware of his and Tav’s aversion to her Shar worship. What could they say that could possibly dissuade her?

He looked around to his companions as they argued, fueling Shadowheart’s rage further.

She whipped around to snap back at them with a frustrated hiss, “if I have to walk over your corpses to complete my duty, so be it.”

Finally, his eyes landed on Tav, who simply walked up and stood between her and Dame Aylin.

“That sounds familiar, don’t you think?” Tav mused with a sad smile.

She took her bow from her back and the sword from her belt and dropped them to the ground. The action seemed to stun Shadowheart for a moment.

“Then do it.” She shrugged as she stood with her shoulders squared to Shadowheart. “Strike me down with that spear, prove that you’re ready to murder an unarmed ally in Shar’s name.”

“She is not an ally! She is an enemy of Lady Shar.”

“So am I.” She held her stare. “I killed dozens of Dark Justiciars with my own two hands during the fighting a century ago. And she,” Tav pointed back towards the aasimar, “is our key to defeating Ketheric Thorm. Which makes her an ally. At least to me.”

Shadowheart’s glare wavered, and she lowered the spear ever so slightly before pointing it back at Tav. The gesture caused Halsin to let out a small gasp and twitch forward, but Tav’s eyes found his and silently begged him to back down.

“Please, Shadowheart,” her tone softened, “you don’t have to do this. I’ve seen too many people in my long life warped and twisted by Shar’s dark magic. Don’t make me watch it happen again.”

“As if it even matters to you,” she scoffed back, sounding hurt. “You don’t get to stand there and pretend that you care about what happens to me. Our entire journey, you’ve made it clear what you think of me.”

“Yes. Yes, I have, I allowed my own prejudice to blind me to the truth right beneath my nose.” Her lower lip started to tremble. “You don’t belong with Shar, Shadowheart.”

Halsin’s eyes stung hearing her soft words. Tav had apparently come to share his suspicion that Shadowheart’s devotion to Shar was more forced than that of a true disciple. A couple of tears rolled down Shadowheart’s cheeks. Her eyes darted between Tav and the aasimar a few times before looking down at her spear.

“I remember how you supported me when we saved those tiefling refugees and the gnomes in the Underdark. When we saved every person in need along our journey. I saw how you cared for animals and children and the life around you. You dragged me unconscious through the Underdark after I nearly died. Twice you’ve saved my life now. You healed my wounds in and out of battle despite our differences.” Tav sniffled.

“All pure happenstance.” The small crack in Shadowheart’s voice betrayed her.

“And I see how often that wound on your hand causes you pain,” Tav continued. “Every time you dare to have a thought that deviates from those of your Dark Lady, she punishes you for it. If you were truly as devoted as you say, why defy her so often? Why show compassion and hope when you know it will cause you pain? Why not give in to hate and despair and emptiness to ease your suffering?”

The creases in Shadowheart’s brow deepened as she studied the weapon in her hands.

“Dame Aylin knows something about you, Shadowheart. Something isn’t right here, I can feel it. And I think you can too.”

Everyone stood still as statues as their two companions stared each other down. One wielding a spear sent from Shar herself, the other wielding nothing but a heartfelt plea.

“This has to be your decision but know that you don’t have to face it alone. Make your way into the light once more or fall backwards into Shar’s embrace. But if you want to kill her…” Tav closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “You’ll have to kill me first.”

Every muscle in Halsin’s body tensed at her words. He watched as Tav took a step forward, so the pointed tip of the weapon pressed into her torso.

A moment passed. Then another. The silence between them stretched on for what seemed like eternity. Then, sharp gasps rang through the air as Shadowheart reared back her spear, ready to strike.

[faradaykay]

A New Year's Kiss || Tenkaede

Tenko and Kaede have a very "friendly and platonic" conversation about one of the most common New Year's Eve holiday traditions.

Tags: Fluff, Tenko Chabashira x Kaede Akamatsu (romantic), SFW

A/N: hello i woke up today and just. wrote this entire thing. i am slightly embarrassed about it, not my best work and very silly and drabble-y so don't judge it too harshly, but um!! yes here have some girlies being girlies!! (also note that the reason that they keep mentioning "boyfriends" is bc i wanted to imply the girlies are still a bit closeted. but this is still a lesbian tenko only account so please don't misunderstand that thanks!!)

It was almost midnight on New Year’s Eve, and Kaede couldn’t be happier with the way she was spending it; her entire class had been invited to a party that was being hosted by Miu, but she had opted not to go, instead inviting Tenko to spend time with her privately. It wasn’t that she didn’t like parties or being around her other classmates, but welcoming the new year just seemed much more special as an intimate moment between her and her closest friend.

As they waited for midnight, Kaede was gently braiding Tenko’s hair, something she liked to do every time they spent time together. Her friend’s long, dark hair was soft between her fingers, easily slipping into braids as she gently weaved each strand. The music softly playing in the background added to the ambiance, all trendy pop songs made by various girl artists that Tenko had chosen. None of the songs were ones that Kaede recognized compared to the classical music that she usually listened to herself, but just knowing it was all of Tenko’s favorite music made her love it as much as she loved her own favorite songs.

For a while, neither of the two girls interrupted the peaceful ambiance they had created in the room, but eventually, Tenko was the one to finally break the silence. “Hey, Kaede?”

“Hmm?”

Kaede turned her full attention to the girl as she waited for a response, but Tenko suddenly turned very red, stuttering on her next words. “U-um, never mind! It was nothing…” Kaede giggled at this, knowing her friend was always very quick to fluster like this.

“Tenko… you can tell me anything, you know that. You’re my best friend,” she said in an attempt to soothe her. Tenko exhaled at this, relaxing her tensed shoulders and speaking again, this time much more calmly and clearly.

“Yeah, you’re right…” She took some time to contemplate before saying her next words, and Kaede waited in anticipation of what had Tenko so bothered this time. “Kaede… have you ever had a New Year’s kiss?” Kaede’s eyes widened slightly at the question considering it had been the last thing she expected to be asked, but after her initial shock, she just softly smiled.

“Yes, I have, but it was never anything too special. Just with some friends,” she answered, fondly reminiscing on her memories from past New Year’s parties as she spoke. Kaede had always been the type of person to be openly affectionate with her close friends, disregarding what seemed strange to other people entirely, so casually kissing her platonic friends was one of her favorite New Year’s traditions from before her time at Hope’s Peak. “Never with, like… a boyfriend or anything, though.”

“So you just… kissed your friends…!?” Tenko was once again shocked and flustered, and Kaede couldn’t stop herself from giggling again, finding all her reactions adorable.

“Mhmm. It’s really not a big deal. It’s just a kiss, no reason you should have to be dating someone to kiss them,” she explained, finishing off Tenko’s braid and carefully clipping her large green bow into her hair. “It was just for fun, but maybe one day, I’ll get to have a romantic New Year’s kiss. How about you?”

“No… I’ve never had a New Year’s kiss… I could never just kiss someone so casually like you!! I mean, don’t you get super nervous?”

“Mmm… not really when it’s just my friends, no. Maybe I’d be more nervous if it were romantic, but I haven’t tried, so I don’t know,” she explained with a shrug. “If you want, I can show you. I’ll be your first New Year’s kiss and you’ll see that it’s no big deal.” Kaede thought her suggestion was quite casual, but with the way that Tenko froze for several seconds and then buried her tomato-red face in her hands, she wondered if she had pushed too far.

“Wh-!! You can’t just… you can’t just suggest that!! I haven’t even… kissed anyone before…” Tenko then buried her face in her knees, letting out an exasperated sigh. Kaede hummed in understanding; she’d never asked about her friend’s past romantic experiences, but she had just assumed everyone their age had at least kissed someone before. Then again, Kaede supposed she was practically in the same boat as Tenko to some extent; she had shared plenty of kisses before, but none of them actually had any romantic meaning.

“I see… then I’m sorry if I pressured you, Tenko.” She gently wrapped her arm around her friend and traced her fingers up and down her back soothingly. “Don’t even worry about my offer. I understand if you want to save your first kiss, and I’ll be cheering you on when you find that someone special to share it with.”

“W-well…” Tenko looked up from her knees, briefly making eye contact with Kaede before blushing and looking away. “I didn’t say no… I mean… best friends are pretty special, right? So maybe it’s better to share your first kiss with a best friend… than with some… boy that you’ll probably break up with eventually anyway…”

Kaede gave her a soft giggle and nodded. “I guess you’re right. Then if you’re sure, I’d be honored to be your first kiss. And look, you decided right on time…” She pointed to the clock which currently read 11:59 PM. They both stared at the clock, waiting for the minute to change; the feeling of anticipation made seconds feel like years, but eventually, the time changed to midnight.

Kaede turned her eyes to Tenko, and she had a feeling in her stomach she wasn’t expecting: nervous butterflies. She hadn’t been lying when she said kissing her friends never made her nervous before, but something about this felt different as she leaned closer to the girl sitting next to her. Slowly, she brought up to her hand to tuck a few loose strands of Tenko’s hair behind her ear before cupping her soft cheek in her hand. She closed the space between them, brushing her lips gently against Tenko’s.

“Happy New Year, Tenko…” Instead of waiting for a response, she kissed the other girl, being gentle as she finally connected their lips. It took Tenko a few seconds to get used to the sensation, but once she did, she was quick to reciprocate. Kaede kept the pacing of the kiss soft and slow, and even when she noticed that she had let it last far longer than any platonic kiss she had given before, she simply couldn’t bring herself to pull away, and she instead wrapped her arm around Tenko to pull her closer.

It was already a couple of minutes later when Tenko was finally the one to pull away from the kiss, checking the clock. “I… I promised my parents I wouldn’t be home too late…”

“Right… yeah! That makes sense. You should start to make your way home.” It was Kaede’s turn to be flustered with the way she looked down at the ground instead of directly at Tenko as she responded, nervously rubbing her arm with her hand.

“Hey, Kaede?”

“...hmm?”

“You were wrong.” Kaede looked up at the other girl in confusion at this, waiting for her to explain what she meant. “I don’t really think… that was no big deal. And I think… it should happen again sometime.” Kaede nodded slowly in understanding and agreement, too entranced by Tenko in that moment to fully respond. “For now, I have to go, but… happy New Year, Kaede.”

With that, Tenko stood up, waved, and left through the door, leaving Kaede with a swarm of thoughts filling her head. She had never felt the way she did when she was kissing Tenko before in her entire life, and that moment they shared had welcomed many new feelings that Kaede had yet to decipher and understand.

However, despite the anxiousness brought on by all of the unfamiliarity, Kaede couldn’t help but be excited as well. With the new year came a new opportunity to re-explore her relationship with Tenko, and if they could continue to share moments like the one they had on this New Year’s Day, then she was glad to welcome the changes.

[angeldrawsstuffs]

A Lost Father

So I wrote a little something for the Movieverse-

Summary: Zane’s papa, Whint (credit to kittydemon9000 for the name), ventures far from home to investigate a strange feeling he’s been having, but what he’ll find is… less than ideal.

Cold.

“I’m just going out for a bit Zane, I’ll be home by dinner.”

It was so cold.

“But I don’t want you to go, Papa!”

A little android had been latched onto his leg, pleading he stay home…

He should’ve listened.

“How about this, Little Snowflake, if you let me leave, I’ll bake you whatever cake you want tonight, alright?”

“...Any kind?”

“Any kind.”

“Then I want a plain, water flavored ice cream cake!”

He could be home right now. 

Home, safe, and warm.

He could turn back.

He could go home… 

But something had drawn him here, out to a far, birch forest, miles from any kind of civilization. He’d even had a vision of it just a few nights ago. He had assumed it to be another metaphorical dream…

Yet here he was.

As he stood at the forest’s edge, he felt something… strange about it. His powers may be gone, but his sixth sense remained, and it was ringing all the warning bells.

The forest was covered in a harsh blizzard, but that was just it, only the forest was affected by the storm. The falling snow was almost like a wall, keeping away any unwanted visitors. And to most, the storm would be enough of a deterrent… 

But to Whint, it was like a siren’s song.

Even here, at the border of the forest, his breath was visible, and his warm clothes, that had been designed specifically for cold environments, did little to nothing to keep him warm. 

Feeling cold had become a foreign experience to Whint, as he’d been the Master of ice since he was a young boy, never having felt even an ounce of cold from then until now. But, having passed down the elemnt to his young son just that morning, he’d opened up this feeling to his body once more.

Nobody, not even his own husband or son knew he was here. He’d gone so far as to hide away his elemental master clothes and changed into them while stopping in the city before leaving… 

He just didn’t want anyone to worry.

With a deep breath, he stepped into the forest, determined to find the answer as to why he was here.

The wind was sharp and whisted as it rushed through the miles upon miles of trees all around. Iit carried millions of snowflakes in a forceful dance all around, it was as if the very element itself had turned against him. He fluffed up his cloak a bit while hiding behind a tree to avoid the

Every breath was harder than the last, and every step slow and laborious, having to fight against the wind. Even seeing the forest ahead was difficult, as his vision was impaired by the wind blowing snow and hair into his face.

At least the clouds made it dark, he wasn’t sure if he would stand any chance with sun glare added to the mix.

Whint tucked his cloak closer, the wind was absolutely deafening. He wondered why he would be called out here; perhaps the element was upset with him, the blizzard was reminiscent of one he himself had created in the past. But even if that was the case…

Why would it be upset?

Whint tucked his cloak closer, but not that it made much of a difference, as with each difficult step, the bone-chilling cold seeped further into him, and his clothes became even more useless to block it out. 

Every part of him felt numb…

Except for his heart. No matter how much his better judgment *screamed* otherwise, it still yearned to know what was at the eye of this storm. Since, if he did, maybe the feeling would go away and allow him to return home undisturbed. 

Home…

He couldn’t wait to return. After dinner, he planned to announce the passing on of his powers. And then, he could teach Zane, his son, all about them.

Yes, it would be a nice evening…

Whint could feel his graze dropping as his eyelids felt heavy, which was strange, given that he had gotten a sufficient amount of sleep the previous night. Whint stumbled, having to lean on one of the many birch trees in order to not fall down.

He shook himself awake, he couldn’t succumb to the tiredness! He was almost there, he could feel it. Just a bit longer, he was certain.

And so, he continued on…

…

…

…

How long had it been?

Minutes, right? Or was it hours..?

He had lost track.

The tiredness was almost completely overwhelming.

The cold- or, what he could still feel of it- burned, it was agonizing pain all over.

But among all that, he sensed something. Something above…  

Looking up, he saw it: 

The eye of the storm.

Here. His answers were here.

He slowly rushed towards the eye, it was difficult, but he had to know… he needed to know.

The storm quickly calmed as he stepped into the eye, a welcome change given the intensity of the blizzard. It was still cold, and Whint’s throat was still completely dry because of it, but at least his hair isn’t in his face anymore and he can finally stand still to catch what little of his breath remains.

Whint clutched his cloak as tight as he could manage, but it was of no use anymore, not even his gloves had spared his hands. Everything felt completely numb, almost hot, even. He kept shivering, but could no longer feel why.

Even with the wind gone, he continues to stumble, having used up most of his energy making it this far. But, even so, he continues to move forward, his goal, whatever it may be, just in reach.

It’s close, in the eye’s center.

He can feel it.

“W-Why-” he spoke, his voice dry and hoarse, and the cold making his voice tremble, “Why h-have you b-b-brought m-me he-here-?” 

As if receiving a reply, almost immediately, Whint heard the all too familiar sound of ice crackling as it forms, something he grew accustomed to in his days as the Master of Ice. In any other circumstance, it would be a soothing, and even relaxing sound…

But something about it this time sent a chill down his spine- or, it would if he could still feel it.

He looked around for where the ice had formed, hoping it to be a sign of his purpose here-

But it took a sudden heaviness on his cloak for Whint to realize: the ice wasn’t anywhere around him…

It was on him.

Not too much, for now at least, currently it covered a section of his cloak, right shin, and left forearm.

His eyes widened as his breath picked up once more. It seemed his earlier hypothesis was correct and the element was upset with him, but why?? Was it upset with him passing it on? But this is tradition, since the days of the First Spinjitzu Master himself the elements have been passed down! 

Whint shook off his thoughts, now was not the time to think, it was the time to run. He quickly spun back around and tried following his footprints in the deep snow to find his way back, but the wind and snow from the storm seeped into the eye, and blasted him with full force, preventing him from leaving the eye and re-entering the storm.

Whatever was going on, the ice clearly did not want him to leave.

While trying to fight off the wind, Whint heard the cracking of ice once more. Looking down, he found the ice was beginning to spread.

No-

This- This couldn’t be happening!

He- he has to get home- he has a husband and a young son! He can’t leave them alone, he- he can’t!

Based on the obvious, Whint knew he had to find a way out now, and time is not on his side.

He tried running away from the gale of wind and snow, which vanished quickly thereafter. He thought he could find a spot on the eye’s border that would allow him safe passage, but with each failed attempt, the ice kept spreading and spreading and spreading.

With the cold all around him, Whint could only feel the pain of frostbite and his heart beating inside of his chest as he weakly limped along, knees having been locked in place by the more rapidly expanding ice. Most of his torso had also been consumed, as well as a decent portion of his arms.

A million thoughts raced through his head all at once while his eyes began to.

Will he ever make it out of this forest?

If not, what happens to Julian- his Icicle and beloved husband…

…and what happens to Zane??

Zane-

His son-

If the element is willing to take its wrath out on Whint, would it try something with Zane too..?

That thought is all Whint needed to make another escape attempt.

“D-Do- wh-whate-ever y-you w-ant t-to m-me-” Whint struggled to get out as he slowly hobbled over to the eye of the storm’s edge once more, “b-but- you- you will **not** touch my son!”

His eyes still burned from the tears that couldn’t fall, but that didn’t matter right now, and neither did the ice or the frostbite or the increasing tiredness-

He had to keep his family safe.

He-

He had-

He had to-

He was blown back. The wind was so much stronger this time, and the snow blew around him in a mocking, twisted dance. He wasn’t sure how he stayed on his feet, but the wind had shoved him right back to the center.

Again.

He has to try again.

Just one step at a-

His legs-

They weren’t moving-

Why weren’t they moving??

Whint looked back in horror to find that the ice had firmly rooted itself on the ground.

“N-No-” he choked out, “N-N-NO!”

He struggled. He struggled as hard as he could, but he knew deep down it was impossible to escape the bonds of ice.

He was stuck here. Here in the storm’s eye.

Whint heard that taunting sound again as he watched his left arm and the lower half of his torso be completely encased in the ice.

With great effort, he lifted up his right arm, reaching out-

To what or to whom, he didn’t know.

Maybe it was to his friends, who he now feared he would never see again-

“L-Lilly-, K-Koko-, Ed-, e-ev-everyone-”

Or maybe to his husband, who he would never get to see flustered, or cuddle close with again-

“I-Ic-Icicle- J-Julian- JULIAN-!”

It hurt to yell, but it wasn’t going to matter for much longer as the ice creeped up his right arm, freezing it into the outstretched position before making its way up his neck. It grabbed hold of his head and hair before slowly wrapping it’s way down his face-

But at the same time as his terror of what was to come, he knew who he was reaching for.

It was-

“ZANE-!”

A single tear finally fell as Whint’s world went black.

.

.

.

“…Dada..?” A little android said as he tugged on his father’s lab coat.

“Hm? Yes, Zane?”

“It’s dark outside, why isn’t Papa home yet? He said we could make ice cream cake and I don’t wanna wait anymore.”

Dr. Julien looked outside, nighttime had indeed fallen, and Whint had left in the afternoon…

 Where was he?

“Don’t worry, Zane,” The doctor said as he kneeled down and pulled his son into a hug, “Papa will be home soon, and then you’ll have all the ice cream cake you want, ok? I’m sure he probably just ran into Aunt Lilly or someone else and got caught up talking.”

“Gasp! Really?? All the ice cream I want??” Zane’s little face lit up with delight.

Dr. Julien couldn’t help but chuckle amusedly, “Yes really. Now, how about we go set up dinner to show him how big of a boy you are?”

“Okie dokie!” Zane beamed, “I can’t wait for Papa to come back home!”

[blam-marie]

Four Liars (in space)

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Read all currently published chapters (38 of them so far!) here on tapas :)

If I go to sleep right now, I’ll have four hours of rest before I need to be up.

The ventilation was making that noise again. A sort of metallic VWOOMP VWOOMP VWOOMP reminiscent of one of these big helicopters that had ferried Chuck around in basic training. He remembered being sick in one of those helicopters. Good times.

Nearby, Johnson was snoring loudly. Chuck could hear him straight through his thirty-decibel noise reduction custom earplugs, as if the other man was laying right next to him and not two whole bunks away. But at least Johnson’s snoring was constant, and somewhat on a rhythm. On a good night, Chuck could almost manage to ignore it. He just had to pretend hard enough that it was just… the soothing sound of waves on the sea or something. If the sea sounded a little bit like a rusted lawnmower.

Which, you know, maybe it did! It wasn’t like Chuck had ever seen the sea in person. Any sea. Did different seas sound differently? He should ask Bee. She would probably know. Or he could even go and seek out the answer in person one day. Maybe. It was something to consider for the bucket list.

Anyway, Johnson’s snoring was fine. It was fine! A little annoying, maybe, but Chuck could handle it.

Bouchard, on the other hand, kept taking deep, irregular whistling breaths. He would stop breathing for a few seconds, then release all of his air with a short, disgusting, wet nose-cough sound that drove Chuck straight up the wall. Bouchard had the bunk right on top of his, and sometimes, he fantasized about climbing up there and smothering him with his own military-standard crappy pillow. With the noises he made at night, no one would suspect Chuck, right? They might think that Bouchard had just finally given up the ghost on his own. Well, one could hope.

Although a suspicious, night-time death in the dormitories would create a lot of paperwork and presumably Chuck would be the one who would have to deal with it, so that might not be such a good idea after all.

In the middle of the room, Evans tossed and turned, as usual. The three rows of bunk beds were barely an arm length apart, and the man was so tall that he’d once managed to actually spin 90 degrees and kick Chuck in his sleep. The only silver lining of that incident was that it had given Chuck a good reason to show up to work sleep deprived the following morning. Everyone figured that Evans’ baby skin was probably sensitive to something in the fabric of the sheets and that’s why he wiggled around so much, but command was yet to do anything about it. Past evidence suggested that they probably never would. It wasn’t like comfort was of any great importance here.

Chuck checked his watch then clenched his eyes shut in despair. The tiny glow in the dark screen indicated that it was some time past one AM, which meant that if he got to sleep right then he might still get four hours of sleep before the morning shift. Then the day crowd would rotate into the room and someone else would be using his assigned bunk for the next eight hours, followed by someone else until it was his turn again.

Maybe he should just stop thinking so hard about sleep — maybe if he thought about literally anything else, sleep would just magically come, like it seemed to do for other people. His best friend, Bee, kept telling him that she just laid down at night and closed her eyes and sleep came within five minutes for her. In his opinion, she was probably lying. There was no way that sleep just ‘came’ within five minutes. There must have been a trick. She said she just stopped thinking. Who just stops thinking? Thinking was a constant background process in the machine that he called his brain and sure, there were tricks to make that process take less energy or attention but there wasn’t a way to stop it. So either Bee was trying to describe something else (likely), or she really was programmed differently than he was (also likely). Or she just straight-up temporarily died every night (not very likely, although she would make one terrifying vampire).

 Chuck flipped his pillow to the cold side and started thinking about filling forms. That was a safe and boring topic, right? Boring was good, boring meant that his brain might slow down.

Forty excruciating minutes later, Chuck checked his watch again and almost screamed. He was still not sleeping, and now he’d reminded himself of how annoyed he was that the ventilation filters were listed on the equipment request form and not the maintenance order, even though changing them was part of the maintenance team’s duties. Which meant that every time they needed new filters they would have to ask him to edit the equipment forms for them, and then the equipment supervisor would be pissed that Chuck had messed with his files. Which Chuck wouldn’t have to do if that asshole just picked up his goddamn comm every once in a while and updated his files himself!

 Blasted ventilation. Blasted maintenance team. Blasted god damned bunker and blasted god damned cold war.

Chuck flipped his pillow again and turned to face the wall, pulling his scratchy woollen blanket up to his face. He very sternly told himself to not think about the war, because that was a sure way to stay awake for the rest of the night and he did not need that. Besides, he wasn’t worried about the war. He wasn’t!

Worrying about the war was a responsibility for other people. For all the good that did, since the cold war wasn’t even about Castula. Their neighbour, The Free Radiant Empire of Elunar (F.R.E.E.), had somehow managed to piss off New Vakalos, and now the two giant powers were threatening each other with world-destroying weapons. What did that have to do with Castula? Chuck didn’t know, but somehow by virtue of being allied with FREE, they were now also in danger of dying via rocket to the face. It was kind of unfair. Still, not exactly a problem that he, specifically, could do anything about. And he didn’t like worrying about stuff that he had no impact on.

His problems were more in the range of filling badly designed forms about ventilation filters. He had suggested a change to the forms, but everything took months to be processed around here, and also no one was very inclined to listen to a lone sergeant that looked like death warmed over. Chuck knew that it would considerably help his career if he was less sleep-deprived, but that wouldn’t happen as long as he had to sleep in a bunker dorm room with five other soldiers that snored, farted, and / or had undiagnosed sleep apnea.

Chuck glared at the bottom of Bouchard’s bunk as the seconds ticked by agonizingly slowly. The ventilation clanged again. That was new.

When he had first seen this bunk room, it had seemed to him like a silent tomb. Eighty feet underground, on the lowest floor of a state-of-the-art military facility, it was a room about the same size as his grandmother’s bathroom in which someone had shoved enough beds for six people. The walls felt heavy, the ceiling was low, and it was pretty much impossible to forget all of the tens of thousands of pounds of rock, steel and concrete sitting right on top of his head. Back then, the ventilation had run smoothly, and the corridors were still empty of the beehive of human activity that their sheer size promised. The bunk room was enclosed in a perfectly claustrophobic silence that promised an equal chance of the best sleep of his life or a panic attack.

But then Bouchard, his future personal nemesis, had poked his head into the room behind him. Upon seeing the poster on the wall warning them about “enemy agents subverting them via sexual promiscuity”, he’d let out a noise between a snort and a braying laugh. Chuck had not known peace since.

He’d tried everything. Meditation. Reiki. Over-the-counter sleeping aids. What had come the closer to working was Johnson’s grandmother’s “sleepytime tea”, but while it made Chuck’s body immensely tired and relaxed, his brain still felt like it was hooked up to a car battery. The contrast between a dead-tired body and an overly active mind made for a profoundly unpleasant experience. The obvious next step should have been professional sleeping aids, but the bunker’s heartless on-site doctor refused to prescribe them to him, on the pretext that Chuck might get addicted. Figured. You get one measly footnote on your medical file about a history of substance abuse — not even his own, mind you! A relative getting too enthusiastic about self-medicating their chronic pain, which as far as he was concerned seemed like a perfectly reasonable thing to do! — and suddenly nobody wanted to prescribe anyone anything for the next three to four generations.

It was all such bull. Getting a bit too reliant on sleeping aids still seemed like a much better solution than hitting his head with a baseball bat just so his brain would stop, which he was four seconds away from doing, but alas. As long as the insomnia didn’t impact his performance, the higher-ups didn’t see it as a problem. And Chuck was too much of a professional to let it impact his performance, so it seemed that he was trapped in a hell of his own making for at least the foreseeable future.

Nearby, one of the sleeping soldiers mumbled something and turned over. Chuck checked his watch. If he fell asleep now, he would get three hours of rest. He could function on three hours, right?

[ruscha]

so i finished my first playthrough of buddy simulator 1984, spoileps 2 follow

got the “neutral” ending, & it was intriguing enough to maybe do some more playthroughs and get the other endings eventually, but we’ll see. overall, loved some of the concepts a lot and was a little irritated by some of the other ones.

concepts that were really good:

- a programmed entity’s personality becoming warped and obsessive because of the way they were constructed or the limits to their programming (reminiscent of glados obsessively testing the player portal because what else would she do)

- a game creator hastily building a game around you and trying to keep you engaged to a desperate obsessive degree (probably hits home for the developers)

- the strange evolution of game design from text adventure to 3D fps

- glitchy dark shit happening to the meta of the world (we love an undertale don’t we folks)

- rly cute character design and dialogue from all the townsfolk, to the point where i was really torn on who to pick as my 2 party members in the 2.5D stage

things i wasn’t a huge fan of:

- i distrusted and was suspicious of buddy from the get-go, making the arc of our friendship feel fake and contrived from the start. buddy feels “caring” but always in a desperate, almost “mandatory” way, which ofc is the point of the game to an extent, but there’s very little time to bond w/ them organically before the creepy shit starts. i would have cared more about getting one of the nicer endings the first time if i didn’t feel like they were constantly manipulating my feelings and hiding things from me from the moment we started playing. perhaps this is something that varies from player to player based on past experiences, or maybe the devs didn’t intend for the relationship to have a true heel-turn moment but to be challenging throughout. who knows

- lots of the creepy moments in the game are sort of.. not addressed through the narrative or feel out of place. buddy isn’t “corrupted” or actively trying to be malicious to the player, so the only other narrative explanation for the creepy stuff would be owen (or whatever the other entity’s name is) fucking with buddy’s game on purpose, but that doesn’t account for a lot of the npc dialogue and other small horror-like situations. it just sort of feels like those things were added to appeal to ppl who like that kind of stuff in a cute 8-bit game (and i 10000% do) but it doesn’t reflect buddy’s sensibilities at all. they’re actively trying to create a cushy comfortable playing experience that evokes pure gaming enjoyment, so the brief moments of discomfort (that have nothing to do with the glitching) feel weird and off. again i don’t hate that sort of thing in games, and lots of said moments were quite amusing, but it doesn’t fit the structure of this game’s particular narrative — unless i’m missing something about the story ofc

- overall buddy’s dialogue and things just got exhausting after a while, which again is probably the point, but i don’t think the devs needed to lay it on that thick at all. like, we get that buddy has an unhealthy relationship w/ the player due to their programming, i don’t think it needs to be reiterated every 3 minutes

i think maybe expanding buddy’s personality a little more could have tremendously helped the story. like, if you’re not the first player they’ve befriended, perhaps they picked up some strange quirks from past friends who then turned “bad” and had to be unfriended before you came along. or maybe buddy *wants* to be more than just your buddy, maybe they want to be their own person, but they physically can’t surpass the limits of their programming, no matter how much they fuck with the source files or the os. just something else to help me feel bad for this obviously tragic character.

but maybe i’ll find out more from the other endings! who knows. lmk if i’m totally off-base here.

despite my criticisms, it’s a super neat little game and i’d recommend it, esp. to undertale fans.

[perrypixel]

Okay Lunter shippers, for those who don’t know last night Zeno (hunter’s VA) changed his display name to 'hunter noceda'. It only lasted for a couple of hours but that was enough to gain attention on twitter.

What does mean?
 Well, that’s the problem. We aren’t sure. As most of you are familiar with, the majority of the fandom sees Luz and Hunter as 'siblings', to them this basically confirms, that Camila basically adopts Hunter, Then there are others that are just dubious of it and shrug it off as a troll, as Zeno has been known to do.

And I’ve been in my thoughts for that past day and spoke with a couple of friends. So the most important first thing to say is that Zeno is just a voice actor. The ONLY people that have the power to make anything CANON are the WRITERS or the CREATOR themselves. No one else, while yes there are people who work on creating the episodes they CAN NOT magically make things canon. Not storyboard artists, not animators, and definitely not VAs.

This could be hinting at the direction of where the show is going but again, nothing is confirmed.

Also, it’s okay to mourn it. I kinda did that too. Grieved during those hours Zeno had that up, I was still putting my thoughts together. Also for the love of everything don’t attack anyone who continues to ship it, it’s not worth your time putting a negative post about 'now its confirm so weird to ship it'. Come on, there is no SOLID confirmation they see each other as EXPLICIT siblings.

What if does become canon? Well, it’s hard to say. I’ve been in the TTS fandom where people actively ignored the creator’s intent of Cass/Rapunzel being 'sisters' and continue to ship despite it. And that’s with Cass and Rapunzel having the same parental figure at one point but at different times. And you don’t see them get shit for. The only difference is that Cassunzel is wlw ship while Lunter is a m/f ship. Watch as the same people who ship Cassunzel are the same people that are going to shit on the Lunter shippers if it does siblings canon. Double standards is a bitch.

I’m no stranger to completely ignoring canon endings. I’ve watched BOTH Voltron and TOA completely collapsed in their endings. ROTT who? Voltron s8 who?

Plus, why now if that’s what their intentions were? You should have established it sooner like with King. Then people wouldn’t have jumped on the shipping train. Now you have people that are too emotionally attached to the ship (such as myself) and do what?

TL; DR Luz and Hunter’s relationship is still open to interpretation. Personally, I would like to be that way. It’s ultimately up to you whether you feel comfortable continuing to ship it.

As for me, I fear that it is a hint of where the show wants to take their relationship. My view of their relationship was something very reminiscent of the dynamic I had with my high school crush rather than 'siblings'. I would find it strange that they would try to confirm sibling dynamic on them this late in the show and given the earlier concepts of the show. Half of me wants to step back but the other half wants to continue. I still have so many ideas left for them. And Goldenlight week is coming up too. So for now I’ll keep posting, unless Dana says something. Maybe I’ll sprinkle some more platonic stuff I’ve been putting on the back burner.

[f1united]

Ensemble - Chapter Two: The Girl and The Gift

Charles Leclerc x Reader

Summary: Your Arthur Leclercs best friend. So why, after a random night in London, are you falling for his brother?

Chapter One: The Start

Warnings: Mentions of alcohol and sex.

Word Count: 5.8k

Note: This chapter begins in London and is marked where it switches to Mykonos. There are then some flashbacks mixed in so just watch out for those. Let me know your thoughts, enjoy!

*****

Chapter Two: The Girl and The Gift

Not long after Pierre had joined your table, Charles emerged from the toilets. Pierre had waved his hands to inform him of his updated location as he sat in the empty seat, unknowingly signing himself up for a night full of girly gossip and drama. The evening was spent reminiscing on childhood memories and sharing stories. It wasn't until Nat checked her phone that you realised how late it was getting.

"We better get going," She announced as she checked her phone. "The last train is in half an hour." You lived just outside of London which meant that most nights out were cut short by trains unless you had booked a hotel. You hummed in agreement as you finished your drink watching as Pierre began to whisper in Lucy's ear. They'd been flirting all night so her next sentence didn't come as much of a surprise.

"I'm going to chill with Pierre for a bit, I'll find my own way home tomorrow" The rest of the girls saw it coming too.

"Are you sure?" Katie asked. "I don't want you ending up in London on your own with no way home." She had a point. London could be quite daunting when it was late and dark, especially if you weren't a local.

"Well why don't you stay too?" Charles nodded his head towards you as he spoke. "That way you could leave together." Not one part of you questioned Charles' intentions as he spoke. He remained the responsible 'Arthur's older brother' that was being sensible and mature, making sure that everyone got home safely.

"If that's alright with you?" Your question was answered with a nod of his head. You all began to grab your things and headed outside, saying your goodbyes, telling them to text you when they were home safe as they encouraged you to do the same. By the time they'd headed for the station, Pierre and Lucy were already nowhere to be seen.

"I'm not sure about you but I'm in no rush to go back to the apartment just yet!" You spoke to Charles as you looked at the night sky above you.

"Where do you want to go in the meantime?"

“Have you ever explored London before?" You answered his question with one of your own. He shook his head. "So you haven't seen all beautiful sites it has to offer." The sarcasm was evident in your voice as you pointed down the alley way you were walking past full of black bins and plastic bags full of rubbish.

"I've only ever been here to celebrate races and I can't say I've seen much other than the inside of some bars and restaurants.”

"Well you're in for a long night Leclerc." Two hours ago Charles wanted nothing more than for him and Pierre to go back to the apartment. The lack of alcohol he'd consumed throughout the night was only adding to the tiredness he'd accumulated over the race weekend. However as you dragged him through the streets of London he realised there was no place he'd rather be.

You'd ridden Boris bikes alongside the River Thames, shown him your favourite restaurant in Covent Garden and taken him through Piccadilly Circus all the way to Oxford Street where closed shops lined the dark streets, pointing out your favourite ones as you cycled past. He never did things like this. As a F1 driver it was difficult for him to go almost anywhere without going unnoticed but tonight not one person had recognised him because for the night he was just a normal person with another normal person having a good time. 

After abandoning the Boris bikes at the nearest drop off point you both headed towards the apartment. It belonged to Charles' mother and was often used by you and Arthur whenever he'd come to visit and couldn't stay with you.

"You seem happier than when I last saw you." His comment made you smile. It was all he could think about as you wondered through the dark streets. The last time you'd seen him you'd just broken up with your ex. Your relationship had been on and off for years but you'd finally called it quits for good. It didn't take a genius to see the relationship was making you unhappy, the anxiety, tears and sleepless nights were picked up on by everyone albeit your efforts to hide it. Arthur was the only person who truly knew what was going on and it hurt him to see his best friend in so much pain when she thought she was in love.

"Thank you, I'm in a much better place now. I've had time to focus on myself." You'd completely lost yourself throughout the time you were together, focusing so much on what he'd wanted and expected rather than what made you happy. The situation had increased your maturity and for that reason you were grateful your first heartbreak had come at such a young age. You'd correctly assumed that Arthur had made Charles aware of your sensitiveness to the situation to some extent as he made no further comments. 

He had approached Arthur with concern after your last meeting. Despite a fun grand prix weekend you'd been blinking back tears and spent most of the time with a blank expression on your face. He hated it. He could see you trying to compose yourself, when he came to thank you for coming you'd done your best to smile, your voice was laced with excitement, but your eyes were empty, drained of emotion. He was grateful to see it had made its way back.

"Did you know I've never been to Harrods?" His random fact was a relief as he quickly changed the subject, allowing your mind to be brought back to the present rather than the dark times from the past.

"Even I've been to Harrods Charles. We should go tomorrow, you'd have a field day in the clothes section." As a part time student most of your spare money went into savings, a fund you'd created for your planned travels when you were done with your studies. It wasn't very often that you brought yourself nice things so despite your multiple trips to Harrods, you'd never actually purchased anything. You could see him deliberating your suggestion in his head. 

"You can wear sunglasses and a hat with your mask, just don't wear a bright red Ferrari top and I'm sure we'll be able to keep ourselves to ourselves."

"Don't you have work tomorrow?" His question brought you back to reality slightly.

"I'll call in sick?" you offered. It suddenly occurred to you that this was the longest time you and Charles had ever been alone together and the idea of leaving wasn't something that you wanted to think about just yet. 

Charles opened the apartment door with caution, neither of you wanted to interrupt your friend’s spontaneous night, nor hear any of the antics they were getting up to. You frowned at each other as you stepped into the entrance corridor. There were no faint voices, no mumbling or laughs, just the hum of the city that echoed through the slightly open window.

“Maybe they didn’t come back here,” your judgement became increasingly more likely as you followed Charles towards the kitchen and stood around the island.

“I’ll send him a text.” He pulled his phone from his pocket and tapped away before placing it on the marble countertop. It lit up with Pierre's reply not long after he'd set it down. “They went to some hotel, apparently he’s dropping her home in a second.”

“He’s not the type to bring girls back to his home turf then,” you took the bag off your shoulder and placed in on the counter, grabbing a hair tie from inside and gathering your locks into a low ponytail. “Smart move.” Charles shrugged his shoulders at your observation.

He’d never really thought about it before, but he was the same. The few casual hook ups that he’d had over the years had never been in places he spent a lot of time like his house in Monaco, or his favourite holiday home in Mykonos, and never this apartment. Sure, he’d slept with people in those cities, but never in his space. You were right though; it was easier to forget about the crime if you never returned to the scene.

"Do you have anything I can change into?" 

“There’s a top on the end of my bed.” You thanked him as you made your way towards his room. “I’ll grab some of my things so I can crash on the sofa once you’ve changed.” You stopped in your tracks, turning to face him as you stood in the doorway.

“I’m not kicking an f1 driver out of their own bed Charles, especially not post race weekend.” You crossed your arms as you lent against the door frame. “I’ll sleep on the sofa.”

“I’m not letting you sleep on the sofa.” He argued.

“It’s one night Charles, I really don’t mind.”

“I’m not letting you sleep on the sofa.” He repeated.

“Well then it looks like we’re sharing the bed.” Your words not only surprised you, but also Charles. Neither of you were sure where this increased confidence had come from, but you didn’t want it to become awkward, so you tried to justify your statement. “Me and Arthur used to share a bed all the time!”

The look on his face as your eyes met with his across the room was one you’d so desperately been seeking without realising it. His head cocked, eyebrows raised and small smirk tugging its way onto his lips provided reassurance, giving you the confidence to confirm that this relationship was very different to your one with Arthur. You already knew it, you had felt it every time you’d looked at him since you were about 16, but this was the first time you could say with certainty that it was reciprocated.

Charles was dying to climb into bed with you. To wrap his arms around you and stay like it all night. He didn’t care about the fact that your hair would be in his face or that his arm would most likely be dead within the first half an hour. He just wanted you there with him, so he could learn things about you that he didn’t already know and fall asleep with the scent of your faded perfume beneath his nose. He suggested that he’d sleep on the sofa because he knew that wasn’t what you were implying. 

“I’ll stay on my side,” you offered. “Promise.”

That’s what he was afraid of. Charles was a respectful man, he wouldn’t cross boundaries without permission, but he wasn’t sure how much longer he could go without your touch. The thought of your body lying so tantalisingly close to his while dressed in nothing but your underwear and one of his shirts was driving him crazy.

“I’m a very good sleeper, you won’t even know I’m there.”

You couldn’t stop listing reasons for Charles to join you. He wished you would stop; his head was already full of so many.

“Well go and get comfy and I’ll join you in a minute,” In that moment he made the decision to give in knowing that if this was the only chance he got to lay in bed with you he'd take the opportunity, whether your bodies were intertwined or not. “Do you need a drink or anything?”

“A water would be great!” You smiled as you turned around and headed to the bedroom. Charles spent the next few minutes alone in the kitchen trying to convince himself that this was a bad idea. That it was wrong. You were his brother’s best friend and he shouldn't be this nervous or excited to lay next to you, but no matter how hard he tried to dislike the situation he couldn’t because it just felt right.

By the time he joined you in bed you’d already made yourself incredibly comfortable. He chuckled at the site of you tangled in the duvet before climbing in next to you. You laid facing each other and remained that way as you chatted about memories from the past. Childhood holidays and his earliest racing days to you latest life plans and hopes for the future. That's how you drifted to sleep, listening to his voice was more comforting than you'd like to admit. When you awoke in the morning you were unsure what terrified you more, the feeling of one of you completely reducing the few centimetres of space left between you or never knowing what Charles’ touch felt like.

*****

Maybe that’s why you were so unimpressed when Charles and Pierre joined the several of you seated around the long table on the patio with two unknown girls. The number of cocktails you’d consumed weren’t providing you with a great amount of rationality but then again it was difficult to justify being annoyed when you had no reason to be in the soberest of situations. The only person to blame was yourself, you’d had the chance to experience a night with Charles and a combination of your stubbornness, maturity and (let’s face it) fear of what could happen had meant that you’d missed out.

It was only as she threw her head back at one of his comments that it hit you, you were jealous. It was a feeling you hadn’t felt in years. Ever since your last relationship you had lacked almost every kind of emotion. You’d dated people since but that connection was never really there which is why you were full of confusion at the situation presenting itself to you. The feelings felt foreign to your body and you weren’t sure how to deal with them, so you did the one think that you were too young to do back then. Get drunk and try to forget about them for a night.

"Are you listening? Drink up, we're leaving in a second!" Arthurs voice provided a distraction from your thoughts whilst encouraging them. You tilted your head back as you finished the remainder of your champagne, your arm was already reaching out for the nearest bottle to see if you could sneak in a quick refill. You didn’t even like champagne but after having run out of cocktails about an hour ago you didn’t really have much choice. In any other situation you would’ve declined and waited until you were at the club but you weren’t really in the mood to sober up right now. You got up to follow everyone to the taxis, deciding that the bottle had too much in to be left at the table to waste, but not enough in that you couldn't finish it before you reached you destination. Putting the bottle to your lips this time, you took another gulp.

He noticed. He noticed the vast amount of alcohol you had consumed thus far. The unbothered façade you'd displayed during dinner was picked up by him the second he’d glanced in your direction. Your eyes often met his across rooms, at events, in the paddock, even at family dinners and it was always followed by a shared smile, but tonight you hadn't even looked at him and he couldn't stand it. Although he couldn’t be certain, he had a good idea what the cause was. Guilt was slowly consuming his thoughts. He shouldn’t have felt guilty, there was no real reason to, yet he did.

He knew if he had come alone you would've had a couple of drinks with dinner, just enough to prepare yourself for the club afterwards, allowing the sweaty people and sticky floor to become slightly bearable. He also knew that you weren't a huge drinker and that the lack of food you had consumed at dinner would only worsen the matter which was evident as he watched you fall into a taxi with Arthur and Carla as he climbed into a separate one with Pierre and, what they appeared to be to everyone else, their ‘dates’.

The club was busy, everyone excited to be back on the dance floor after its absence over the past year or two. Although it would've been nice to spend some more time with him, you were thankful that the crowds had engulfed you so you'd lose sight of Charles and her. You'd found your way to the middle of the dance floor and you remained there for hours losing track of time and somehow your friends too.

Unbeknown to you, Charles had lost his 'date' at the first chance he had. He'd met her on a boat during the day with Pierre and when his best friend had invited her best friend for dinner he felt bad for not doing the same. He was sitting at the bar with Pierre who'd picked up on the amount of attention he was paying you as you danced along with random strangers. The Frenchman questioned what he was doing when he noticed Charles tighten his jaw. Charles nodded his head in your direction and the pair watched as a man approached you.

The guy in front of you was only offering to buy you a drink but you knew you were way over your limit. You'd politely declined, naively assuming that he'd disappear back into the sea of faces but that wasn't the case. Your refusal  clearly not accepted as he insisted. grabbing onto your arm in an attempt to pull you in the direction of the bar. Yanking your arm out of his grip you instantly managed to sober up as you came to the realisation you were going to have to fight this battle alone.

Charles knew you were a big girl, that you could handle yourself in almost any situation thrown your way, but as the guy reached out to touch you he could've sworn he moved quicker than his Ferrari. His presence shocked you as you flinched slightly at the unfamiliar grip on your waist.

"It's just me ma belle." Charles whispered calmly into your ear, placing a feather light kiss onto your cheek. Relief instantly washed over your body. You wished you could focus on the conversation that Charles was now having with the strange man in front of you but you couldn't. The only thing you could focus on was the feeling of your skin heating beneath Charles' fingertips and the tingling sensation that lingered where he'd planted the kiss. He'd never touched you before, the brief hugs being the most contact you'd ever shared, and now he was standing in a club with his hand around your waist as he fended off a random guy who'd taken an interest in you. "I think we should head home." When Charles spoke it felt as though each word was coated in sex as it left his lips. He hadn't meant it in a sexy way, you knew that. He wanted to take you home so you were safe. However his intense grip on your waist and his stubble lightly grazing your cheek when he leaned in to speak to you was putting thoughts into your mind that you knew shouldn't be there.

You looked up at him, your eyes locking for the first time that night. Your eyes always showed a lot of emotion. Your body language was often hard to read but you always made eye contact when you spoke. He frequently used it to determine what mood you were in but this time he was met with one he'd never seen before. Despite them having a drunken glaze, your dilated pupils held a look of lust. He could've sworn you were mentally undressing him. You weren't. Instead you were thinking of how much you wanted him to undress you.

"I think that's a good idea." He could hear the smirk in your voice over the sound of the music as you let your lips gently brush his ear lobe while you spoke. He shut his eyes tightly and took a deep breath in an attempt to pull himself together. You were disappointed when his hand left your side but satisfied when it quickly intertwined itself with yours. His skin was softer than you were expecting, the rough patches slowly disappearing over the summer break. Your hands remained that way as you walked through the streets of Mykonos. Neither of you spoke, you just remained in a comfortable silence. As the villa came into view Charles was basically marching down the street, his strides increasing as your little legs tried to keep up. He dropped your hand when he reached the door, searching his pockets for the key to unlock it.

The villa was colder than you were expecting, a shiver ran down your spine as the air con hit you. You headed towards the kitchen and grabbed your sweater off one of the bar stools, sliding it on over your outfit.

“So you’d let Carla drive your car huh?” his face instantly broke out in a smile as you relieved some of the tension between you both. “You know that’s not true.” Charles followed you to the kitchen and watched as you perched yourself on the edge of the counter. He poured a glass of water and took a sip before handing it to you which you gratefully accepted.

“You’d let your date drive it instead?” He rolled his eyes as he chuckled at your sarcasm, hoping that you’d forgotten about the girl he’d sat next to during dinner as quickly as he had. “How many girls get a turn before me?” Although he didn't let it show, your question had offended him slightly. Despite his popularity with women he was never one to disrespect them, especially not you. He took a step closer to you, standing directly in front of your legs that were pressed firmly together.

“You’re the only one I want to see in that seat mon Cherie,” That was one nickname that he’d never called you, yet it rolled off his tongue so effortlessly. He leaned against your legs and you slowly parted them so he could stand in between, closing the distance between you both. “I’d let you drive it again in a heartbeat.” Your eyes were fluttering between his eyes and lips, your stare only breaking when he leaned in to speak in your ear just like he’d done in the club. He placed a kiss on your cheekbone and slowly worked his way up to your ear.

“You looked very sexy behind the wheel of my car.” You locked your hands with his while he continued to speak, closing your eyes in a desperate attempt to try and calm your heart rate down. You wanted to say something back, engage more in the conversation, but for the first time in a long time you were at a loss for words. You loved driving, you'd often join the boys go karting growing up and learned to drive as soon as you could, so when Charles asked if you wanted to drive his Ferrari back to your home after your Harrods shopping trip you were more than excited. It was a nice change from the train ride you were expecting.

He'd watched your eyes light up when you realised he was being serious. It was the closest you'd ever been to driving something even remotely similar to an f1 car despite it being different in so many ways. Your smile was infectious as you put your foot down on the motorway, leaving London behind. You'd never even driven an automatic car so this was a completely new experience. He'd taught you how to use the paddles to manually change gears if you wanted to and how to shift through its different modes as you drove around. The only disappointing part of the journey was reaching your destination, your trip home considerably quicker than you would've wanted. After spending the whole time focused on going fast and not crashing, you'd selfishly not noticed how Charles was feeling throughout the drive.

He'd been trying to keep his eyes trained on the road in front of him but couldn't help steal a glance in your direction every now and then. He was always surrounded by fast cars, something he realised after seeing you sat in his driving seat he'd begun to take for granted. He felt overwhelmed with pride, he was the one who was making you this happy. He felt privileged seeing you this free as your hair flew around in the wind while you rested a hand out the side of the car, trying to resist the force of the air pushing it back. It was his turn to be selfish as he realised that he always wanted to keep that moment for himself. He didn't want anyone else to make you feel like this, give you this experience. He wanted to be the one to make you smile.

“Don’t go quiet now mon Cherie.” That nickname. Again. “I think we still need to discuss what happened in the shower.” You instantly snapped back into reality at the mention of the shower. His hand fell from yours and toyed with the bracelet on your wrist. The one that you nervously played with in situations like these. The one that he’d gifted you last year. The one with his name etched into it.

The morning that you'd woke up in Charles' bed you were alone. An empty bed was something you'd become accustomed to over the past couple of years but in this instance it made you awaken quicker. The note left on his pillow stopped you from worrying, he was out on a run.

You respected his commitment to his career and took the opportunity to go for a shower. The warm water felt refreshing against your skin, goose bumps slowly appearing across your skin at the sudden change in temperature. Rubbing Charles shower gel into your skin you closed eyes and lent your head against the tiled shower wall. It wasn't clear at what point you'd become so aroused, but  the steam from the shower and the smell of Charles covering you definitely had something to do with it. You allowed your hands to roam your body, his name unexpectedly falling from your mouth as you brushed past your breasts. The careless use of his name had caused your eyes to widen and your hand to clamp over your mouth. It had left you lips so naturally but felt inappropriate to say aloud.

It wasn't until a few days later that you realised he'd heard. He almost hadn’t. If he’d unlocked the apartment a mere three seconds later your words wouldn’t have reached his ears. His run had been sweaty and he was still out of breath but his panting soon stopped. His eyes widened as he heard his name leave your lips and he froze. He didn’t want to announce his presence, he knew he wasn’t supposed to hear it and didn’t want you to feel embarrassed that he had. He didn’t know what to do. He felt as though he was invading your privacy but knew that if he shut the door you’d hear it close and know he was there. So instead he stuck his foot between the door and the doorframe to keep it slightly open as he waited for the sound of the shower to finish running. He tried to focus on something else, anything else, but he failed. All he could think about was you, in his shower, without him and how badly he wanted to join you, just so he could make his name fall from your mouth the way it just did over and over again.

You thought you'd gotten away with it. He'd entered the apartment just as you were stepping out the bathroom and he'd acted as cool as ever. The weekend was slowly becoming a distant memory that you were trying hard not to dwell on, hating that you were missing his presence so much already. It wasn't until you were at work the following week that it became apparent your secret crush was no longer a secret. You were in the office early, earlier than everyone else. That wasn’t unusual, you liked to be in early as it often meant you could leave earlier too. What was unusual was the box placed neatly on your desk.

Although the small parcel was addressed to you, you opened it with hesitation. A small gasp left your lips as your unwrapping revealed a red box, the golden engraving of the word ‘Cartier’ on top. Confused, you gently opened to box revealing a bracelet.

You placed it on your desk as you searched for a note. Despite it being awfully obvious who it was from, you wanted some kind of confirmation or, better yet, a reason as to why someone had put this into your possession. You'd spotted it in Harrods with Charles. You hadn't mentioned it, just spent a few minutes mindlessly staring at its beauty. There was no point even considering buying it for yourself, the price tag was close to your yearly salary. Eventually you found the note. 

'I've heard you like to moan it'

You picked up the bracelet once more, analysing it as you did so. It was so discreet, discreet enough that if the note wasn’t a big enough hint you might never have realised. His name. Etched into the inside of the band in the same font as the word ‘Cartier'. Any other name and he wouldn’t have been able to get away with it. No one had picked up on its personalisation in the past year. It had remained your little secret.

You gulped loudly, unsure of what to say next. The dull lighting hid your cheeks as they flushed red with embarrassment, just like they'd done when you'd read his note. Luckily it was situations like these you considered your stubbornness a strength. "All I could thing about was how much I wanted you to touch me Charles." With your lips dangerously close to Charles' ear you'd somehow managed to complete your sentence with confidence. The conviction in your voice had satisfied Charles although it was obvious that he hadn't expected it as he pulled his head back slightly to look you in the eyes. It was the first time you'd seen them so dark out of his crash helmet. They didn't have the same teasing smile paired with them as they did only a few moments ago. For a brief moment your heart dropped. What if he was just teasing you and you'd taken it too far? 

"Say something." Your voice was barely audible despite the eerie silence that had settled in the kitchen as Charles picked up on your nervousness. His expression softened but he remained silent, placing his forehead against yours and gently brushing your noses. You both very quickly realised there was no longer the need for words. The last thing either of you wanted to do right now was have a conversation about what was going on because quite honestly neither of you were sure. All you knew was that as soon as the space between your lips closed, there was no going back. You were craving each other's touch and it was as though the kiss you were yet to share would be the seal of approval you both needed to explore each other in a way you hadn't before.

You'd had enough of the teasing, enough of the wondering and what ifs, enough of wasting time without knowing how his lips felt against yours. You moved your head up slightly brushing your lips with his before releasing one of your hands from his grasp and placing it on the back of his head, pulling it down slightly. As soon as your lips pressed against his you became overwhelmed with emotions. You relaxed into it, it felt so right. His hands began to explore your body, one placed on your thigh and the other tracing lines up and down your back, sitting on the counter top had worked in your favour as you wrapped your legs around his waist. It wasn't long before his tongue found yours as you let your hands snake beneath his shirt feeling his back and arms tense beneath you as he lifted you up from the side and placed you on the dining table which was at a slighter lower level. 

His mouth left yours and you let out a small groan of frustration, he smiled at the sound as you realised he was only doing it to strip you of the sweater you'd not long ago put on, allowing him to rid you of it, not caring how cold it was anymore. In between the kisses he was placing down your neck you pulled his top over his head. Your eyes were trained to his shoulders as you admired him, only shutting when he re-joined your lips. 

The sound of a key turning the lock at the front door caught Charles' attention. There was a high chance he'd consumed less alcohol than you tonight which is why he giggled slightly when you chose to ignore the sound and bring him back in for another kiss. 

“WE’RE HOME” Arthur voice echoed round the villa. The sound of his brothers voice was enough for you to release him from your grip.

“Shhhhhhhhhhh, it’s 3am people will be sleeping.” Carla tried to whisper but the tiled walls carried the sound throughout the villa. You didn’t know if anyone else was home, you hadn’t checked and to be honest you hadn’t even thought about it. The only thing on your mind was Charles.

“Y/N and I are in the kitchen,” Charles called back. His eyes never left yours as he grabbed his shirt you'd thrown across the kitchen and redressed himself, not until Arthur stumbled through the door way knocking into chairs and making them squeal as the legs glided across the floor. You both watched as he regained balance and muttered a drunken apology before sitting himself on the floor.

"Good night Arthur?" you laughed slightly at the sight of him on the floor, he'd never been the most elegant drunk but at least he was entertaining.

"Great night." He confirmed as he laid himself down, a laugh leaving Carla's lips as she stared at the state of him. If someone had spoken to you a couple of hours ago you would've probably had a different opinion but as it turned out, you were starting to agree with him.

TAGLIST

@imthebadguyyy @abysshaven @phatyak​

[iwadori]

Haikyu Boys when they neglect you for another girl PT 2(Oikawa)

Part 1  Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

Word count: 2.1K

Genre: angst,fluff

Oikawa:

You Oikawa and Iwaizumi have been best friends for as long as you can remember  

You thought that Iwaizumi liked you, but all thoughts of that left your head once Oikawa confessed to you when you were in your last year of middle school.

You and Oikawa started dating you in highschool in your first year and have been inseperable ever since.

You and Oikawa were as opposite as you were the same making you a perfect match.

It was the first day of your final term of your third year. You and Oikawa were planning to go the same university but to do that you obviously need to pass your entrance exams so you fully immersed in your studies.  

You have been the manager of Seijoh since your first year, but because of how time consuming it is and you now fully want to focus on your studies you decided to step down from your title. However, you still were fully supportive of the team making sure to go to every one of their games and even coming to majority of their practices with your textbooks and notes with you.

It seems someone took your place as the manager, yet you don’t know who as have been so busy all you could do in finding your replacement was stick up some posters telling whoever wanted the job to talk to the coaches. But you hope the new manager is at least half as good as you.

You decide after school, you were going to take a break from studying so you went to go to the gym to see your boyfriend and the guys at practice. When you enter, you see all the boys fussing and fanning over someone who you couldn’t tell who it was.  

You spot Iwaizumi away from the crowd tying his laces, when you approach him he looks up and smiles fondly at you, “Hey Y/N” he says schooching over so you can sit next to him.

“Hey Haji” you say ruffling his hair playfully “Who’s the celebrity?”  

“Oh Ririka-san” he responds “The new manager” when he says this he slightly scowls, but you don’t quite catch it as your focus is on your boyfriend who is being his usual boastful self infront of who you presume is ‘Ririka-san.’

As the group disperses, they all approach you with Oikawa lifting you up and spinning you obnoxiously making you laugh at his action. “Well hello to you to Tooru” you say kissing him on the cheek.

You look in front of you and there was Ririka with her hand extended out for you to shake “Hi I'm Yagami Ririka” she says “But you can call me Ririka, you’re Y/N right?”  

You shake her hand quickly dropping it responding with a dry “hi.” Oikawa notices the awkward atmosphere that you created with your response and decides to drag you away to show you his serves. You weren’t fully focused on your boyfriend, with your eyes occasionally drifting to the new girl who seemed to give you a bad vibe from your first introduction.

Practice ends, and Oikawa walks you home (per usual.) Once you are at home, you decide to social stalk Ririka to see if you can find something to confirm your suspicions on her. You’re claims weren’t based on anything besides a vibe but since she is apparently in your year and always has been you find it weird that you haven’t heard a word about her all until now. You don’t find anything on her, besides her being as ‘perfect’ as she seems.

As you and Oikawa walk home together again from the next day’s practice, you were hoping that he shared your same concerns about Seijohs manager but when you ask “Kawa.. Don't you think Ririka-san is a bit odd?”

He looks at you curiously, smiles and says “No of course not, Rii-chan is fine”

‘Rii-chan’ you think, a slight pang of jealousy surges through you at the use of this newfound nickname  

“In some ways she reminds me of you, you know?” he says chuckling, but you weren’t listening focused on the name he just called her.

“Rii-chan, huh?” you say

“It’s just a nickname Y/N, I give them to everone, you know that Y/N” he says

“Yeah yeah I know Kawa, I was just overthinking that’s all” you lie, you knew Oikawa gave everyone a nickname but this one definitely stuck on your mind then all of others and although you can admit your jealousy but there was something else bothering you.

“Well don’t overthink too much” Oikawa says giving you a kiss on the forehead “Don’t want to heart your pretty head about it.” Oikawa then lets you enter your house before taking off to his own.

Over the next few weeks, you are mainly focused on your studies, barely having any time to be with your boyfriend at all. However, if you did even have the time to spend with Oikawa, he was definitely not available since all his time was now with ‘Rii-chan,’ whenever you asked him to hang out with you or to go on dates he always used the excuse of ‘Rii-chan needs help with the schedule and since IM THE CAPTAIN I have to help’ or ‘Rii-chan has no friends in our year, and since it seems that YOU don’t want to befriend her im doing the nice thing by becoming her friend’ and with that you always wanted to reply with ‘maybe no one wants to be her friend because she’s such a bitch’ but you held your tounge.

Today you were fed up with your boyfriends lack of being around and decided to go to his house in the hopes that you can watch a movie or do something together. When you get there, you knock on his door and you hear him shout “Come up it’s open,” was he expecting you or something?

You go upstairs to his bedroom, where you know he’ll be and to your surprise when you open the door in his room it is basically set up like a movie date with food and snacks and a bunch of dvd’s and blankets set up on the floor. ‘Was he planning on you to be here?’ you think.

“Rii-chan you made I-” says Oikawa, stopping hisself when he sees that it’s not his beloved Rii-chan but only you his girlfriend Y/N.

“What the fuck Oikawa?” you ask  

“It is NOT what it looks like Y/N” he says standing up abruptly to approach you but you step back.

“Umm.. So it’s not my boyfriend of 3 years about to have a movie date with his manager after barely speaking to me, his GIRLFRIEND, for the past month?” you say folding you arms “ Did I get that right or am I missing something here?”

“Yes.. I mean No” he stammers “ It’s not a date at all, it’s just that Rii-chan say’s she never watched *insert your favourite movie here* and I thought it would be nice if I show it too her”

“Whatever you say ‘kawa” you say rolling your eyes, this seem to annoy Oikawa as he then sits back down harshly and says,

“God Y/N, ever since you met Rii-chan you’ve been so hostile for once can you not be a bitch! Me and her are just friends.” His aggressive tone shocks both you and him but he doesn’t seem to stop “All I'm saying is, you always wonder why me and Iwa-chan were your friends, haven’t you thought it was because you’re such a judgemental bitch”  

By now you were fed up, so you turn your back to Oikawa ready to leave the room but first you say “ Oikawa, I love you I always have, but I can’t be with you anymore especially since you can’t even see what’s going on. Remember when we used to have movie dates when we were ‘just friends” Your response leaves Oikawa with his eyes wide open since he didn’t expect you to basically break up with him, he thought this was a minor argument. Before he can speak, the door burst open and in comes Ririka who exclaims “Tooru! Im ready to watch M-….oh”  

“I guess I’d be taking my leave now” you say with tears in your eyes “Goodbye Oikawa this was fun”  

It’s been a while since the confrontation at Oikawa’s house and the school was a buzz since after hearing the news of yours and Oikawas break up the school immediately focused their attention on both Ririka and Oikawa the rumours of them being together spread like wildfire. However, to your surprise Oikawa apparently always combated the rumours claiming that him and Ririka were just ‘good friends and will stay that way.’

But you could care less, you still supported the team going to all the games they had making sure to stay clear away Oikawa and Ririka. You don’t go to the practices anymore since you didn’t want to submerge yourself in sweat and bad vibes anymore.

Graduation came and you were very happy, you could finally get out of this place. Once you get through the ceremony and all the boring stuff you go to the gym for one final ‘goodbye’ but before you have a chance to leave you are stopped by Iwaizumi  

“Hey Y/N” he says “how have you been?”  

“I’ve been good, pretty ‘busy’” you respond

“Busy as in, avoiding Oikawa at every cost” he says making you laugh “Come sit down with me for a second” to which you do sitting next to him on the gym bench.

You and Iwaizumi then spend the next hour reminiscing about all your past antics and stories making you laugh and smile fondly at all the nostalgia. After all your talk you pull out your phone to take a picture and you hear Iwaizumi whisper “He never deserved you” so quietly that you almost don’t catch what he says.  

Before you could respond in comes Oikawa of course panting “Y/N! Thank god you’re still hear I need to talk to you!”  

You look at Iwaizumi expecting him to say something but all his does is pull you into a tight hug and says “Goodbye Y/N I’ll miss you” he gets up and exits the room shouting “Make sure to answer my calls” making you chuckle.

Oikawa approaches you and sits in the spot that Iwaizumi does, he takes a deep breath and begins to stay “Y/N, you were right I was wrong. I am an idiot... Rii- I mean Ririka she tried to kiss me. Im sorry”

“Oikawa, you are right.. You're an idiot, but it shouldn’t of had to take me breaking up with you and Ririka trying to get with you to realise that I was right. Why did you even come here to tell me this, so I knew I was right? You didn’t need to confirm my suspicions I knew all along Oikawa”

You stand up to leave, hoping to find Iwaizumi before he goes home but Oikawa stops you. “Y/N I-I want to be with you, to go back to being how we were … don’t you want that”

“Oikawa...” you grab his hands “I love you, I always have and I always will... but I think we both know we aren’t meant to be.. Things haven’t been the best with us even before Ririka came along, it just took her to make us really notice it.”

“It’s him isnt it?” he says with tears in his eyes

“I think so... maybe it’s always been him I don’t know but we know how he is especially when we were 15 I guess you just got me to me first,” you say with tears in your eyes also

Oikawa pulls you into a hug and whispers in your ear “Go get him Y/N” you look at him and smile and nod you head “We will still be friends Tooru.”

You race out of the gym to look for Iwaizumi and you suddenly bump into him since he didn’t actually move he was there the whole time and it seems your indirect confession made him tear up too. “I love you Y/N” he pulls you into a hug which you return then pulls you into a deep kiss.

In the end, you and Iwaizumi do become boyfriend and gifriend still keeping Tooru as your good friend. You all also end up going to the same University and you and Iwaizumi live the rests of your lifes together as the ‘perfect�� couple with yours and Toorus relationship as a laughable memory.

AUTHORS NOTE: Please don’t hate me for this ending!! I had a bad day sooo I decided to switch things up please give me feedback on what you think !!

[immaturityofthomasastruc]

IOTA Reviews: Hack-San

You know, it's honestly amazing how creative this show can get. After four seasons and almost one hundred episodes, the writers are still finding new ways to make Adrien an incredibly unlikable character, and they don't even know how much of an asshole they're making him out to be at times. It's kind of like the opposite of The Producers.

Yeah, this review's going to be a little more ranty than usual, in case you can't tell.

Let's get into the fifteenth (chronologically the sixteenth) episode of Miraculous Ladybug's fourth season: Hack-San

We start off with Marinette pretending to be sick so she doesn't have to go to visit her aunt in London and stay to protect Paris in case an Akuma attacks and also because the animators haven't had time to render the city of London yet for the next Miraculous World special. Like all of her other excuses, it fails, and Tikki, as always, fails to actually give any meaningful advice.

And it's not like there's a Miraculous with the power of teleportation that can help Marinette get back to Paris if she needs to, much like how she planned to do that in an earlier episode, right?

Seriously, Kaalki doesn't appear or isn't even mentioned in this episode because the writers are fully aware she would make things a lot easier.

And of course, Astruc had to play dumb on Twitter while explaining why Marinette couldn't use the Horse Miraculous by answering the question as if the only reason Marinette couldn't grab it was because she didn't have an excuse not to.

Cut to Gabriel in his lair as he contemplates akumatizing Markov, a robot created the civilian identity of Pegasus, Max Kante, once again, even though the last time he did so, he almost got killed when he went all HAL 9000 on his ass. Nooroo explains this to Duusu, and the two actually get excited at the prospect of their master getting killed.

I mean, it's true, but he shouldn't say it...

But I don't even get why Gabriel is even thinking about this when it's a no-brainer. Markov's akumatized form, Robustus was to this day, the only Akuma to come close to physically harming him (not counting the timeline where he was killed by Cat Blanc), so it makes no sense to try doing it again, especially when there are already several other Akumas he can reuse this season.

I think you all know Gabriel isn't the smartest villain, which is why he thinks it's a brilliant idea to akumatize Markov again. I don't really get what makes Robustus so special when there are other Akumas who are more loyal and came far closer to getting Ladybug and Cat Noir's Miraculous than Robustus did, like the Dark Owl or Troublemaker. In fact, why not simply create a new Akuma with similar powers to Robustus, or better yet, just create a Sentimonster copy of Robustus? You know, like what Nathalie did in the New York Special? We're not even two minutes in, and this premise is already filled with plotholes.

So Gabriel transforms into Shadowmoth and creates a Sentimonster using his own cane instead of relying on someone else having a bad day (once again showing how the Peacock Miraculous is better than the Butterfly), the titular Hack-San. And let's just say he has a very familiar design reminiscent of something from a much better French cartoon.

Remember when the writers for Code Lyoko gave an in-universe explanation as to why the heroes couldn’t always rely on the almost literal Deus ex Machina that allowed them to return to the past and fix the damage XANA caused? Why couldn’t this show have ripped that off instead?

Hack-San is just an okay looking flash drive on its own, but I'll talk more about this guy in a little bit.

After a brief scene in the park where the audience is reminded that Markov is a character who exists, Alya gets a text from Marinette telling her to meet her at the train station. Right before she leaves, Marinette gives the Ladybug Miraculous to Alya. Now a lot people have said that Alya doesn't really deserve the Ladybug for various reasons, but I feel like this was the point. Marinette outright says this was a last resort, and we see both her and Alya are nervous about the situation. Marinette worries Alya will do something so she keeps sending multiple tips to her via text while Alya worries she can't fight an Akuma on her own, so she tries to make sure none of her friends get upset and attract an Akuma in the process. The writers do a pretty good job showing how both Marinette and Alya are uncomfortable with their temporary roles.

Back to Gabriel and Nathalie, they use Hack-San to find Markov through the internet and hack into him to get him angry enough that he's vulnerable to Shadowmoth's influence. Hey, uh... Gabriel? Quick question: Wouldn't it be more efficient if you used this on humans? I mean, you basically just created Skynet and guaranteed yourself an Akuma, so why not modify Hack-San to travel through the internet and brainwash potential victims to follow your orders? Better yet, why don't you just use Hack-San to hack into Ladybug and Cat Noir's gear and figure out who they really are? This is basically like using an advanced particle accelerator just to crack a couple walnuts. There are a lot more important things you could use this for instead of an incredibly specific situation.

So this incredibly stupid plan gets under way as Markov keeps rampaging through the streets before Shadowmoth akumatizes him and then stupidly tells him that he infected him with a virus.

DUDE! You just gave away your one piece of leverage against him! What the hell were you thinking?! Now what's stopping Markov from hacking into Shadowmoth's security system and putting the fear of God in his eyes unless he destroys Hack-San? Why didn't he design Hack-San so it could make Markov completely loyal to him instead of just making him angry enough to get akumatized?

There was a recent episode of Power Rangers: Dino Fury with a very similar premise that was done far better than this. A necromancer called Reaghoul breaks into the headquarters of Void Knight's faction while accompanied by Lord Zedd, a villain from the original Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers who was cleansed of his evil by Zordon's sacrifice before Reaghoul resurrected him back when he was still evil. Of course, being the Emperor of Evil, Lord Zedd would normally never take orders from anyone, but because he doesn't have his magic staff and is also being forced to wear a special collar that makes him loyal to Reaghoul, he has no choice but to do what he says. Instead of taking Zedd head-on after he captures the other Rangers, Ollie, the Blue Ranger, breaks the collar so Zedd turns against the other Sporix while Reaghoul retreats, allowing Ollie to save the other Rangers.

I think that this premise works more because 1) Reaghoul clearly had a way to make sure Zedd wouldn't betray him, and Ollie took advantage of that, and 2) Zedd is a villain who is powerful and notorious enough to bring back to your side, not a random monster of the week like Robostus.

So Robostus uses his new powers to brainwash any human who answers his call to give up their most precious possession, clearly meant to do the same with Ladybug and Cat Noir. When Marinette's parents answer the call, they chase after Marinette because they say she's their most important possession. Okay... kind of strange for a set of parents to call their child a possession, but maybe they like how they can claim Marinette as a dependent when they file their taxes. In her very next scene later on, she still gets captured, so the suspense for a potential subplot is killed almost immediately.

Alya thankfully isn't stupid enough to answer Markov's call like every other citizen in this episode, and using the Ladybug Miraculous, transforms into Scarabella. While I don't normally talk about transformation sequences, I really like the movements Alya makes here. She makes the same motions creating her mask as she does when transforming into Rena Rouge, while the rest of the suit forms similarly to the way it does when Marinette transforms into Ladybug. She even makes almost the same pose Ladybug does after she finishes transforming. It's a good visual showing Alya is still more used to being Rena Rouge while doing her best to emulate what Ladybug does.

As for the actual suit? It's hard to say. There's a nice balance of red and black, and I like how Alya places the yo-yo on her waist like a belt buckle, but there's just something... off about the suit that a lot of fans don't like about it, and I think I realized it. It's the headband. With how it's positioned, it looks like it's merged with the mask to cover her head while leaving a slight gap in her forehead. So yeah, we actually have a superhero design that's like of like a butterface.

So Scarabella takes to the rooftops of Paris and struggles to come up with a hero name for herself before she runs into Cat Noir, and... ugh... oh boy, this is dumb. Cat Noir, being just as intelligent as his father, assumes Scarabella is either and Akuma or a Sentimonster, starts fighting her, AND THEN ACTIVATES HIS CATACLYSM, CLEARLY TRYING TO KILL HER.

WHAT. THE. FUCK???

Okay, to be fair, it has been shown that Cataclysm won't necessarily kill a Miraculous user or Sentimonster. In the episode “Miraculer”, the titular Akuma stole Cat Noir's Cataclysm and used it against him, and while it didn't kill Cat Noir, it still hurt like hell and crippled him for the rest of the fight until Miraculous Ladybug healed him. We also saw in “Reflekdoll” that Cataclysm drove the titular Sentimonster out of control rather than simply destroying it. So yes, it could be interpreted that Cat Noir wasn't exactly trying to kill Scarabella, just incapacitate her the best he can without Ladybug's help.

Here's the thing: What if he was facing an Akuma instead and decided to try and Cataclysm her? He still could have killed her, or (assuming Akumas have the same protection as Miraculous heroes do) at best, seriously hurt her. I understand that he has the right to be upset at seeing some stranger instead of his partner considering Shadowmoth has a history of using evil doppelgangers, and both Marinette and Alya still had options to explain it to him (Marinette could have quickly transformed into Ladybug and sent Cat Noir a quick text saying she was being forced to leave town for a few days and temporarily trusted someone else with the Ladybug Miraculous until she got back, while Scarabella could have said she was Rena Rouge and explained the same thing while showing Cat Noir she had the Fox Miraculous to prove herself), but that doesn't even come close to justifying him attempting to harm someone who isn't even trying to fight. It's even worse when you remember the whole reason Adrien gave up his Miraculous and bailed on Ladybug in the New York Special was because he was overcome with grief from accidentally killing Aeon, so it's good to know he learned absolutely nothing from that experience.

So Scarabella thankfully summons her Lucky Charm, a trash can lid, to shield herself from Cat Noir's Cataclysm, and then despite having absolutely no experience with this new set of powers, manages to do the one thing almost every Akuma or Sentimonster in this show has failed to do and incapacitates Cat Noir so he's vulnerable to losing his Miraculous. At least when Marinette masters every other Miraculous she uses, it can be theorized that she trained to use them offscreen. Alya literally just got the Ladybug Miraculous (and struggled to get up to the rooftop with her yo-yo to show her inexperience earlier), and now she easily manages to pin down the more experienced hero of the two?

Here's an idea: Instead of having Scarabella overpower Cat Noir, have her be in a position where Cat Noir, non-lethally, mind you, manages to almost take her Miraculous away, but she uses the quick wit she's developed from her extensive time as Rena Rouge to convince Cat Noir she's the real deal by saying something only he and Ladybug know. It would have easily resolved the conflict and doesn't make one of the characters look like a homicidal idiot.

So because both heroes used their powers, Scarabella and Cat Noir detransform so Tikki and Plagg can recharge, though Adrien still gives Alya attitude because Ladybug didn't tell him she had to leave.

Hey, Adrien? Here's the thing...

YOU DID THE EXACT SAME FUCKING THING IN THE NEW YORK SPECIAL, YOU SHIT FOR BRAINS!

You have absolutely NO RIGHT to claim you're always honest when you went behind Ladybug's back and endangered Paris while you had the balls to run away like a coward and only helped fix the consequences of your actions once your ego was validated by a recording of Ladybug. It's honestly even worse because while Marinette had no choice but to leave and trust Alya with the Ladybug, Adrien willingly left Paris alone and we were supposed to sympathize with him after he killed someone, and now as soon as he's in the opposite situation, we're still supposed to feel bad for him?! BULLSHIT! And you better believe I'm going to talk about the way Adrien views his partnership with Ladybug later on.

And of course, even though lives are on the line, Cat Noir just has to continue to bitch and moan about how (and this is best read in Linkara's whiny Superboy Prime voice) “sCaRaBeLlA iSn'T tHe ReAl LaDyBuG”, showing how just like in so many episodes, Astruc and his team believes Cat Noir's feelings are more important than saving the day.

Scarabella goes to rescue some civilians, but they were actually brainwashed by Robustus, once again showing her inexperience as Ladybug which doesn't go well with her effortlessly defeating Cat Noir earlier at all. Cat Noir helps Scarabella escape and the two hide out at the city's wax statue museum previously featured in “The Puppeteer 2”, because I guess the writers only want to reference bad episodes today. Cat Noir, not getting the importance of secret identities, asks Scarabella how she knows Ladybug, and Cat Noir somehow finds out she knows Ladybug's identity from her response.

Before the two can talk more, it turns out that the wax statues of celebrities in the museum are real people who attack the two heroes, leading to an awkward fight scene where Scarabella and Cat Noir fight a bunch of brainwashed civilians with no weapons beyond their cellphones. Our heroes, ladies and gentlemen!

Scarabella summons her Lucky Charm again, creating a frying pan, but when she looks around, she can't see how to properly use it. And despite spending the entire episode complaining about how much he hates her, it's Cat Noir that tells Scarabella to get her head back in the game because “That's what Ladybug would do”. Funny, I can think of a few situations where Cat Noir could have taken his own advice, but I digress. Also, he's now just cool with Scarabella because there's only a few minutes left in the episode and we need to wrap up the conflict.

Scarabella figures out an idea that involves freeing Marinette, so she negotiates with Robostus to free everything and everyone under his control or else Cat Noir will use his Cataclysm to destroy the Ladybug Miraculous. Robostus agrees and empties his hard drive, and to show them holding up her end of the bargain, Scarabella gives him the frying pan before she and Cat Noir let themselves be captured... while Marinette simply hits Robostus with the frying pan, freeing the Akuma and the two heroes. All in all, it's a really creative climax that shows both Scarabella and Marinette in perfect sync with each other even though they never discussed their plan. Though of course, because Astruc hates writing any scene with Ladynoir, Cat Noir gets a bucket stuck on his head so he doesn't see Marinette saving the day.

Scarabella de-evilizes Robostus, uses Miraculous Scarabella to fix everything and send Marinette back to the train, and because Hack-San already failed once, Shadowmoth can't use it for a different plan so he destroys the Sentimonster.

We cut to a few days after the trip (I guess Shadowmoth decided to take a vacation himself), and Alya tells Marinette to talk with Cat Noir about what happened.

This scene was so close to ending this episode off on a positive note. There was a good atmosphere and the body language of Ladybug and Cat Noir does a good job at telling us how uncomfortable they both feel while talking. It's just that instead of getting a heart to heart between the two about the lack of trust in their relationship, we get an Angstdrien Depreste scene. Or would a more accurate term be Cat Dour?

First off, while I don't have a problem with Ladybug apologizing for not telling Cat Noir, the episode never has him bring up what happened with Scarabella. As usual, both of them were partially at fault, but only Ladybug had to apologize for leaving her “Kitty” alone.

Second, Cat Noir’s feelings weren’t hurt? You’re telling me that in scenes like this...

And this...

Didn’t show Adrien acting irrationally because of how emotional he was? Is he really telling the truth around Ladybug or is he just trying to sweep that under the rug so Scarabella’s testimony doesn’t screw up his chances with Ladybug?

Third, this was an obvious chance to Cat Noir to finally be honest and tell Ladybug how he feels about her leaving him in the dark about so many things, but the entire conversation is just about how sad he would be if he never sees Ladybug again. Even though the whole reason he was so pissy to Scarabella at first was because of some lingering resentment for Ladybug ignoring him in favor of other heroes, why is this what the two talk about? I get it's not the season finale, but it's kind of hypocritical for Cat Noir to whine about how Ladybug doesn't trust him while never being honest about his own feelings? Sure, he's all soft and vulnerable around Ladybug, but we've seen all season how angry he gets about her not trusting him whenever she isn't around, so ironically, it's hard to tell if this is him being honest or not.

And I think now's a good time to finally talk about the way Ladybug and Cat Noir's partnership has been portrayed all season, especially since the main themes of the episodes relate to it. Buckle up, Adrien stans, because this isn't going to be pretty.

All season, we have been supposed to sympathize with Adrien as Marinette starts to trust Alya with more things than him. Marinette revealed her identity to her, trusted her to have her Miraculous permanently, and even let her keep her Miraculous even though someone else knew her identity. While some of it is hypocritical, the idea is that Adrien feels like he can be trusted with this kind of knowledge too, when really, he hasn't earned that responsibility.

Adrien has rarely, if ever, taken his job as a superhero seriously.

Not only is he known to flirt with Ladybug in the middle of a fight, he has defied her orders and recklessly sacrificed himself because he thinks Ladybug can do all the work without him.

He has also lashed out emotionally and once threatened to quit being Cat Noir in the middle of a crisis and was willing to let innocent people suffer for personal reasons, and later on actually quit being Cat Noir temporarily while Hawkmoth was about to start World War III because he was wallowing in self-pity.

He once said he isn't cut out for the responsibility that comes with being Ladybug and never learned anything from temporarily using the Ladybug Miraculous.

He has generally refused to respect Ladybug's boundaries and doesn't understand that she doesn't like him that way while he insists they should be a couple.

He outright fell for an evil doppelganger of Ladybug because she said she loved him and turned against the real Ladybug.

And I should also mention that despite hating how Ladybug keeps secrets from him, a lot of Adrien's worst moments have been when Ladybug wasn't around and he never told her about them.

He never told Ladybug that he was the reason Copycat really got akumatized while saying he never lies to her.

He never told Ladybug he contemplated letting thousands of people die because he didn't like not knowing stuff Ladybug knew.

He never told Ladybug he briefly used the Snake Miraculous to get brownie points with her.

He never told Ladybug he figured out her identity and asked her out as soon as he did so.

He never told Ladybug he abandoned Paris to go on a field trip.

He never told Ladybug he was screwing around on patrol and was excited to see someone get akuamtized if it meant spending time with her.

He never told Ladybug how he ignored Rena Rouge's orders because “ShE wAsN't LaDyBuG” and almost screwed up the mission because of it, and also never told her how he smashed a chimney in anger at Rena Rouge being in on the plan.

And he never told Ladybug he gave her replacement attitude after trying to harm her without letting her explain herself.

Why exactly should I support the idea of Ladybug trusting Cat Noir more when Cat Noir himself has kept his own secrets from Ladybug?

Adrien has done absolutely nothing to show he is trustworthy because more often than not, he views the battle with Shadowmoth as a game. He has screwed around when lives were on the line, and we're supposed to see him as responsible? It's kind of funny that Astruc compared Ladybug to Spider-Man, yet he seems to have forgotten that with great power, there must also come great responsibility. If this was a character flaw or a sign he needed to grow up, I'd be more accepting, but the fact that the writers think Adrien is a great superhero is laughable with how much evidence has proved the contrary.

In contrast, Alya, despite only being Marinette's confidant for a few episodes, has shown to take being a hero more seriously. She's helped her escape to transform, analyze the Guardian texts, and has been shown to work well on her own as Rena Rouge while helping out Marinette. I'm not trying to say she's an amazing character (“Rocketear” in particular has shown she still has problems with keeping secrets), but compared to Adrien, she seems to be more capable of handling top-secret information with Marinette, and more importantly, doesn't view being Rena Rouge as a way to have fun like Adrien does being Cat Noir. I'll go more into detail with that next time.

But yeah, this scene is how the episode ends, and what did I think of it?

I'm honestly not sure which episode I think is worse, this one or “Queen Banana”. On the one hand, every frame of “Queen Banana” could easily be replaced by an image of Astruc flipping the bird and the overall message of the episode would remain unchanged, but the fact that all of the writers think that everything Adrien does in this episode is okay and that we should feel sorry for him in this episode is just as bad, if not worse. 

As awful as Chloe was portrayed in “Queen Banana”, it was clear it was intentional on the writers' part, but Adrien doesn't get that excuse once much like he has all season. As far as Astruc's team thinks, Adrien is an incredible superhero even when he honestly attempted to harm someone with a superpower that can cause grievous harm at best. Yet again this season, in the show's attempt to make me feel sorry for Adrien, it made him look even worse. In any other show, he would obviously be called out for his incredibly unheroic actions.

Even putting him aside, the writing in this episode is still AWFUL. The whole reason Ladybug was benched had several plotholes and poor communication with Cat Noir that only made the fight with Robostus even harder, Shadowmoth's plan to waste a potentially useful Sentimonster to reuse a single Akuma was one of the dumbest plans he's ever had, and barring the ending, the action was just forgettable.

There were a few okay moments sprinkled throughout the episode (more than I can say for “Queen Banana”), so I'm still not sure if I should call this the worst episode of the show or still give that honor to “Queen Banana”. I guess I'll leave that choice up to you and let you pick your poison for now.

I mean, it's not like there's going to be an even worse episode down the line this season, right?

RIGHT???

[clouds-rambles]

Im not even gonna go anonymous anymore. Arghh asking for another request makes me feel guilty knowing you have an essay due so i'll just present you a little prompt!

Being immortal and outliving people you love, you know the drill. It must be sad and lonely. But you know what i feel like would be devastating? Just imagine Teyvat in a time loop. Meeting your friends for the first time, getting know them, hearing their plans and ambitions, sticking with them through dark times, falling in love... Reader just happens to be the one to witness all of it over and over and over again.

Don’t worry about it! I’m horrifically avoiding it right now. I’ll probably have some lunch and do some more of it after lunch. I’m talking about things I enjoy so hopefully it wont take up too much of my brain and we’re going to ignore the graphic novel I have to create in 2 weeks too lmao I’m a professional procrastinator

I have a bit of an idea with this so I hope you don’t mind it being platonic and with the Mondstat guys either. I’m going to reference a previous set of headcanons where you’re the leader of the winds. The two writings aren’t related relationship wise though.

Pairings; (Platonic) people of Mondstat x reader

Warning(s); angst

Keep reading under the cut!

You had done this cycle millions of times before. Before you even became the leader of the winds, when you were just a small spirit. Much like your friend Barbatos.

And while the archon of this land could sleep for thousands of years at a time you had elected to protect his people from the dangers that the god of freedom was too asleep to do anything about. And in fairness you can understand why Barbatos has been asleep many a time to avoid his brain contaminating with similar ideals to Decrabain. You can’t blame him really...

But you’re so horrifically lonely. And it’s not like you’re surrounded by an absence of people. In reality you often find yourself over compensating for your loneliness. Nights are often spent in the tavern conversing with mortals that you can’t quite understand.

You half wish you could ascend to Celestia, at least there you can be merry with fellow immortals and not have the constant threat of losing a friend dear.

You have known the Ragnvindr family for many generations. It’s not like they are hard to notice. Bright red hair and, more often than not, a sweet, bubbly personality. Not many of the Ragnvindr’s have been blessed with visions, but they all make their way through life the best way possible. And while they seem to show similar thought processes to the previous anemo archon, especially considering the fact they basically own the alcohol industry in Mondstat, and more recently Teyvat in her entirety. But when you see the family treating their employee’s so well and with a great wage you can’t help but think maybe humanity can move past the age of dictators. Or at least the humans of Mondstat.

The newest Ragnvindr, Diluc had always caught your eye. You had helped babysit both him and his brother while you weren’t busy reminiscing in memories of old mondstat and slaying monsters of your home. The air of change hangs heavy on the air when you’re around them, it seems like the winds you lead are trying to tell you something that you can’t yet decipher.

Until the day comes when you can. Seeing a broken, sobbing Diluc shut you out of his home not only made you sad. But, it infact reminded you that you shouldn’t get too close to mortals. For, like your friend Crepus’, mortal life is fleeting. 

You’ve seen many stories over the years, but there’s only so many times you can hear the same story before they all meld together.

Take Amber for instance, decided to become an Outrider because of her Grandfather. How many times had you heard that story? Someones grandfather joined the knights and inspired them? Too many to count. And as much as you want to remember Ambers story, you already know, like all the others, her memory will meld with the others. 

Kaeya’s story isn’t one you’ll forget quickly, especially when the deeds of  Khaenri'ah weigh heavy on your mind. Though you have seen a small handful of changing of alliance stories in your lifetime his is probably the one that’ll stick the most. Especially when the memory of him crying in your arms after the man he considered a father died. 

There’s this one young girl you remember from centuries ago. She reminds you of Barbara a lot. Carefree, loves the people she works for. Just this girl was born a few millennia too early. She was apart of the Windblume resistance alongside the bard Barbatos fashioned himself after. You had attempted to smuggle the girl out the fortress many a time yet she always wanted to help. 

Sometimes when you watch Barbara sing you can’t help but cry over a girl you considered your first friend after becoming leader of the winds. Barbara is under the impression that you hate her because of how you avoid the girl. But being constantly reminded of someone you couldn’t save in the end makes you so sad. You’re not sure how Barbatos copes with donning the face of a friend when you can barely look at the face of someone who reminds you of a lost friend.

Razor sits fondly on your mind. He reminds you of the people you did actually save in old Mondstat. You remember checking in on a handful of refugees that you had to hide in old caves and how easily they had climatized to foraging for food. Whenever you see Razor you’re reminded of another young boy who went missing millennia ago who was later found to have been raised by bears. 

Through the centuries you’ve become good at pairing up couples. You seem to be able to point out people who will later enter a marriage. You’re not sure if soulmates and reincarnation exists, but that’s your only explanation being able to point to couples so easily.

You wonder for an immortal like yourself would be blessed with a soulmate. Especially considering you weren’t originally in a humanoid form. Maybe there’s some thousand wind out there for you that you’ll never be able to meet and fall for because of this form.

Your mind stretches to Barbatos whenever you think this but you never let yourself linger on it for too long. Lord Barbatos doesn’t like commitment, and you’re very much content with that, yes sir. 

Your eyes often linger on Rosaria as you often ponder if she thinks she’s the only nun to have strayed from typical nun doings. You remember telling a small Rosaria tales of Decrabains nuns and how they helped with the resistance against the tyrant. You wonder if that’s what gave her the idea to stray from typical nunnery. 

You smile upon Lisa fondly, a bright young woman with aspirations as high as the stars. Much like Rosaria you remember telling a young Lisa about alchemy and sorcery. She had such a knack for it, and seeing the woman return after only two years of study was a little disheartening. But you’re sure there will be people after her who will have similar aspirations with better outcomes. It’s not unlike you’ve seen people scurry their lives away in the pursuit of knowledge. You can understand her want for a different life.

As much as it hurts you in the end most, if not all, the people of Mondstat have buried themselves in your heart. And like you have done countless times before you’ll have to move on from them once you’re dead, no matter how much it hurts. Your mind ponders to Adeptus Xiao of Liyue. He’s under a similar curse to you. The curse of being alone while being surrounded by people. You wonder if that’s why Xiao has distanced himself from mortals.

And as much as you feel like you should take a page out of his book, you find yourself falling in love with Mondstat’s citizens over and over again.

[nctsworld]

just let me adore you

✩ jaehyun x reader (ft. mark) | fluff | campfire au | 2.3k → summary: in which the sparks between you and jaehyun burn brighter than the fire in front of you.  → warnings: fluff, flirting, swearing, kissing, wingman!mark whoo let’s get it → rating: teen+

→ gif created by me, please don’t repost or share without credit!

Laughter atop of wooden logs and wisps of smoke from the recently made fire fly towards the darkening sky on the beach. On the topic of fires, you and your friends are now reminiscing about when Haechan almost set his house on fire on more than one occasion. 

Your face is stuffed in Mark’s shoulder, unable to control your fit of laughter. As you pull away to breathe, you see a familiar group of men walking closer. Your eyes widen in reaction to one in particular.    

“You didn’t tell me Jaehyun was coming,” you spew behind the gritted teeth of your smile, leaning into Mark while having your gaze still locked on the group approaching. 

“Whoops?” Mark shrugs nonchalantly. You punch the imp smile off of your best friend’s face. He mumbles an ow and rubs the tender spot.

“Could’ve at least given me a heads up, you little shit.” 

“Maybe tonight you two will finally—hey, guys!” 

His words are cut off as the group finally arrives at their destination, greeting everyone perched on the logs. 

You may as well have flung yourself into the flames when Jaehyun flashes you a smile and maybe it’s all in your head, but you swear his eyes are fixated on only you.

Jaehyun and you were in an... odd spot. 

You may have gone to the same university, but the campus was huge, and you only ever really saw each other during large mutual gatherings, like tonight, so it was hard to get to know each other when you were often encircled with your particular clique. 

You two were mutuals on Facebook, but there wasn’t any concrete reason for you two to message each other out of the blue. However, you’d be lying if you said you never opened up the chat, stared at the blank conversation, and spent more time than you’d admit in thinking of a message to muster up. 

Yet, during only the handful of times you’ve been around Jaehyun, you liked being around him. He was sweet, like how he gave you pointers during the get-together at the bowling alley, and Mark has only said good things about him, giving him the seal of a best friend's approval.

Sure, it was a little awkward at times. Small talk was the norm, but neither of you could deny that there was something itching under the surface between you two. Maybe some nurture and care was all that was needed to break the chemistry free.

Or maybe all that was needed was tonight.

Because the logs near you are already occupied, Jaehyun and the latecomers sit across from you. Jaehyun’s in your direct line of sight with only the fire coming between the two of you.

The night falls as the blaze burns stronger and higher, becoming the only illuminating presence on the beach. Although conversations are all about, everyone’s attention is on it. Flames dance, entangling with each other in freedom. Orange and yellow hues reflect off of every face surrounding the warmth. It’s uncommon to see unconstrained flares like this often, so the rarity adds to the addictive pull of them. 

Everyone’s attention is on the fire, save for two people. 

You prefer listening to others speak and don’t really say much unless elicited, so you spend a lot of your time appreciating the beauty of the things surrounding you—at the rolling ocean waves, up at the stars, or across the wavy haze at the figure before you.

And when you aren’t looking at Jaehyun, you’re unaware of how he’s appreciating the beauty in front of him too. 

Back and forth, neither of you expect to lock eyes, but when it inevitably does, neither of you break away. On the contrary, Jaehyun offers a side smile, which showcases his dimple, and a modest wave. 

Returning his gesture with a giggle and a weak wave back, you then pretend to listen to neighbouring dialogue for a moment. 

Five seconds later, you can’t help it and steal a glimpse of him once more. 

You’re surprised to find him beaming back. 

Even though Mark’s preoccupied with telling the recent story of him winning another watermelon eating contest, he sees you smiling in his peripheral vision. His mouth still runs off, but he turns his head and sees that Jaehyun's the reason behind your smile. Although the eye flirting makes him mentally gag, he fully supports your pursuit if it makes you happy. 

Catching on, your best friend stands up to “stretch his legs” and moves closer to the ones he’s talking to, continuing the anecdote while standing. Not even a minute passes, and it doesn’t take much for Jaehyun to make a break for the empty spot next to you. 

Jaehyun doesn’t sit as close to you like Mark did, respecting your space, but is close enough to have you nervously plucking the fabric of your jeans. 

It starts off with the normal small talk, asking how classes have been and what you’ve been up to lately. Immediately after, silence takes over. 

Now that he’s in close proximity, looking at him feels like a sin. Nevertheless, you still commit the crime, stealing little glances at him throughout the bustling chatter and crisp crackling. 

Feeling overwhelmed by the silence, you grasp onto more small talk, which unfortunately soon reduces to you just rambling. Throughout it all, Jaehyun doesn’t say anything. All he does is nod and listens intently, leaning closer to you with his forearms on his thighs to capture everything that you’re saying. 

When you take a breather, he finally speaks up.  

“Although I love to hear you talk,” his voice is low and gentle, sending a small shiver down your spine. “And by all means, you can keep talking, but don’t feel pressured to fill the silence.” 

He pauses for a beat, and you peer over to view him lowering his head. 

He’s rubbing one thumb over his other, and the friction only makes his palms sweat more. Tingles reach Jaehyun’s ears, and he ponders if you notice it under the dim glow. 

“You don’t have to say anything at all; I always like just being around you, even if we aren’t talking.” 

The cool air blows, calming you along with his words. A shy grin spreads across your face. Feeling more at ease, you shift towards him, closing the empty space between you on the log and letting your leg lean onto his. Jaehyun’s focus trails from your leg to your face, and he dives deeper into your perfection with another of his famous, sweet dimpled smiles. 

Despite Jaehyun’s reassurance, you two slowly start to converse with less tension. Through the night, you get to know each other bit by bit, unravelling each other’s life stories, yet simultaneously writing a new chapter, intertwining the lines of your lives together.  

Additionally, you begin to melt for Jaehyun’s jokes. This is a first, to hear him joking around like this, but you soon find yourself laughing into his shoulder like you did with Mark not long ago.

And Jaehyun adores how you click with his humour, but he adores your laugh even more. 

Someone remembers that they brought snacks in their bag, and fast enough, marshmallows are being passed around. Jaehyun, along with a few others, hunt along the beach and come back with stray sticks for the sweet treats. 

As you two roast marshmallows, you’re sitting in comfortable silence, exchanging glances every so often. Suddenly, he lays a hand on yours, pulling it back along with the stick.  

“Careful,” he warns softly into your ear. “You don’t want a burnt marshmallow.”

Your breathing hitches, thinking about the only other time Jaehyun touched you.

It was during Johnny’s birthday dinner at a buffet restaurant. You were in the midst of devouring your food when your hair got in the way (out of all the days you forgot a hair tie, it had to be today). Failed attempts transpired at moving it; you blew, you shook your head, you rubbed the loose strands against your upper arm sleeve...

“May I?” 

His delicate inquiry made you freeze. Jaehyun already finished his food and offered his clean hands to fix your dilemma. You were so dedicated to finishing your meal that you forgot that he was right next to you, probably thinking you were a hot mess.  

Regardless, you nodded. You gulped as he daintily tucked the strands of your hair behind your ears. His touch was so brief, so simple. He barely ghosted over your skin, and the moment fleeted as fast as the way your hair ran through his fingertips. 

So if his touch was so simple, why was your heart bursting at the seams? 

Your heart thumps against your chest just the same now as it did then. Maybe even more, since you turn to face him and he’s so close, you feel his warm breath against your face. Your gaze slowly wanders to his lips. Subconsciously, he licks them, and you catch him staring at yours too. Your mind’s drawing blanks, while your body takes control. Both of you draw your bodies nearer and nearer until someone hollers—

“Dude, your marshmallow’s burnt!” 

Both of you stop in your tracks and whip your heads towards the fire, realizing it’s Jaehyun’s marshmallow that the person is referring to. Hastily, he pulls it away, blows the flames off, and stares at the charred piece with a pout. 

“Well, I guess you like burnt marshmallows though, huh?” 

Jaehyun turns to you again, watching you chew your marshmallow with a smug expression. Shaking his head, he runs his tongue along his bottom teeth.

“Hey, for the record, I saved your marshmallow from being burnt.” 

“Yeah, yeah. Sure, sure,” you hum, still chewing, then getting up. “I’ll go get us some more marshmallows. Maybe extra for you, in case you burn more.” 

He clutches his chest in jest at your quip and watches the way you saunter over to the bag, his eyes full of hearts, yet regret courses his veins over how the moment was ruined. 

It’s past 1 AM, and the combination of the summer air and ocean waves pack a bite that urges you to go home. You’re both standing near the fire, waving at others who are leaving, when you begin to say you your good-bye.

“I should also get going.” Your hands are in your pockets, feet kicking at the sand. 

“Is Mark your ride home?” You nod in reply and open your mouth, ready to tell him how nice the night went with him. 

“Can I…” he abruptly cuts in before inhaling sharply. “I was wondering if you’d let me drive you home?” 

Your jaw drops at the suggestion, causing his expression to change instantly. “Unless you’d prefer Mark to, I totally understand.” 

Obviously, you accept without hesitance, and run off to Mark to inform him of the change of plans. After hugging him and saying your good-byes, Mark whispers, “Don’t stay out too late.” Then, he gives you a wink before you run to your driver for the night, walking side by side with him back to his car. 

Because it’s late and you’re both a little tired, the ride home is quiet, albeit for Jaehyun’s music playing in the background and when you begin to speak up to give directions on how to get to your place. Rolling up in front of your home, he turns the ignition off, but leaves the music still on. 

“I had a great time with you tonight,” he says with a hand still on the steering wheel. 

Tucking your hair behind your ear, you nod, “Me too.” 

Anticipation lingers in the air for a while prior to Jaehyun cutting it with a question you’ve been dying to hear. 

“Are you free next weekend?” 

You press your lips together, trying to hide a smile back. 

“Only if you are.” 

He laughs with a shake of his head, amused at your playfulness. He can definitely get used to this. 

“I’ll message you when I get home and we can work out the details soon.” 

“Sounds good,” you sway a bit in your seat whilst holding in your excitement. “Well, good night, Jaehyun.” 

Your fingers are on the door handle, but you aren’t quite curling them around it.

“Good night,” he says your name in a hush and you look back at him. The two of you match eye contact and get lost in the gleam of each other’s starry eyes. 

You’re unsure who made the first move, but it doesn’t matter because his kiss scorches you, melting you into putty. As you think you’re about to fall apart between blissful sighs, Jaehyun catches you with each caress, holding you together by your cheeks and the nape of your neck.    

Breaking away for air, you lay your forehead against his, panting, “Wow.” 

“Yeah,” he chuckles softly. “I’ve been waiting to do that since I burned my marshmallow.” 

No coherent thoughts are running through your mind, except your yearning for the man in front of you. All you want is him and his touch on your skin again, so you agree with his sentiment by diving in again without warning. 

It takes much strength for you to finally depart from each other’s embrace for the night, but when you do, Jaehyun plants a kiss on the back of your hand and wishes you sweet dreams. 

Exhausted and in disbelief over tonight’s events, you quickly change out of your clothes and tuck yourself into bed. Unfortunately, sleep is near impossible because your mind replays everything over and over.

Suddenly, your phone lights up, notifying you of a new message. 

Little did you know you’d stay up messaging the man on the other end until the sun rose. 

Next weekend really couldn’t come fast enough.

[crispychannie]

“Bestfriend”

Bang Chan x Fem Reader

Genre : smut, NSFW, little fluff (?)

Warnings : vaginal play, slight masturbation (m), receiving(f) mention of ‘kitten’

Summary : Bestfriends to lovers. That’s all you need to know

Word count : 3.5k

Note : Never will I ever be able to write and imagine without giving minimal details and plot for context

2:45 pm

Chan heaved a sigh as he quickly stood beside the curtains, afraid that you must’ve seen him looking at you from his window. He peeped at the now-empty window sill and drew the curtains close. With sunlight finding it’s way through the curtains, the room was still lit. Making his way back to his bed, he discarded the last piece of clothing which covered his privates. Turning to his laptop, he resumed the slide show while bringing his hand to his hard member.

He looked at the pictures, the curves on the body, how the bikini bottom (hehe) was held by nothing but thin strings around the waist, the top, which gave a perfect shape to the breasts. The picture on his laptop changed, it was now a picture in the pool. He held the girl close to him, her hands on his shoulders, they were having fun in the pool. He groaned as his pace grew faster, reminiscing about how turned on he was that day. How he could see her nippels erect with all the water contact to her bare skin.

He shut his eyes close, releasing himself to the thought of her, to the thought of you. He turned his face towards the laptop and enabled the sleep mode. Pulling a few tissues from the box on his side table, he cleaned himself up and walked towards his bathroom. As he walked out of the bathroom, he saw balls of crumbled paper at the foot of his bed which was close to the open window. He walked towards the window and pushed the curtains apart, only to find you in the act of throwing them across.

“I’m coming over” you said from the opposite window in a hand sign language. You grabbed the branch of the tree which ended right near your window and pulled yourself towards the tree, making your way towards Chan’s window.

“Hellloooo sun....” you trailed off as you jumped in from his window sill and saw him in his boxers, at broad daylight.

“Shinneee.... were you sleeping? At this hour?” You asked him.

“I was... hot” he panicked.

“It’s snowing out there” You shook your head in disbelief.

“Were you busy?” You asked as you plopped down on his bed, making yourself comfortable.

“No, I was just chilling.”

“Great then, let’s watch a movie.” You said as you stretched your arm to reach for his laptop.

“Nooo!” He screamed as he shut the screen, acknowledging the fact that you knew the password. “We can’t watch a movie.”

“Why?” You whined.

“I have to work on a project.”

“Oh, then I’ll help you.” You offered.

“Orrr are you hiding something?” You said with a pause and as you lips formed into a smirk. Teasing Chan was your favourite past time.

“Why would I hide anything from you?” He stammered, flustered.

“Then give me your laptop.”

“I- I was... I was looking at pictures of Kim.” He said, defeated.

“You were looking at pictures of your ex... in your boxers?” You raised your eyebrow. You quickly caught up to what he might have been doing. “Okay okay okay okay cool cool cool cool cool.”

He bit the inside of his cheek and looked away. At least he doesn’t know it’s you.

“What did you even see in her? I mean, I’m hotter, any given day.” You mumbled as you rolled your eyes, thinking he didn’t hear you.

“There’s no lie in that” he said to himself as he heard your remark.

“What brings you here though? Finally got some time away from your boyfriend?” He asked.

“Ah.. Dave... yeaaahhh, I broke up with him.” You said as you sat up. His face turned serious and he sat beside you.

“You broke up with doggy Dave? Why? Did he bite too hard?” He joked, earning a glare from you.

“First, he never bit me, if he would’ve I probably wouldn’t have mind it. Second, he was cheating on me. And GUESS who it was?” You turned your face towards him.

“Who?” He tilted his head to the side.

“Kim Hye. They both have had a thing since 5 months.” You said as you held up your fingers in disgust. Chan was shocked, he knew Kim cheated on him. But since 5 months?

“How did you find out?” He asked.

“I found out about Dave from a few people, and then I dug in a little bit more to find out about this outstanding piece of information.” You answered as you pressed your lips together.

Hearing so, he embraced you in a hug. You wrapped your arms around him and shut your eyes close to keep yourself from crying. Chan was always there to make you feel better, to comfort you in your lows. He was there for you from the time your first tooth fell, to your first heartbreak. He was always there. Every time either of you felt like everything was crashing around you, you’d cuddle. Cuddles made everything better.

“Do you want to cuddle?” His voice echoed through his chest. You nodded as you sniffled your nose, tears brimming your eyes.

He pulled you in his arms as you both laid down, pulling the covers over you both. It wasn’t long till you both drifted to sleep.

6:15 pm

Your eyes fluttered open to a dark room, with a pair of arms around you and a chest pressed against your back. You picked your phone from beside the pillow to see the time. Wow, this was a long nap, given the fact that you hadn’t slept in a few days. Bawling your eyes out every night.

Placing your phone back to where it was, you stretched your body. Upon which you felt something brush against your bottom, making you freeze. Is it that you’ve never noticed it before? Or was he just having a wet dream? You turned around to face Chan. Although it was dark, your eyes had adjusted to the lack of light in the room.

You brushed your thumb over his cheek. His skin was soft and as smooth as silk. Only if he wasn’t your bestfriend... things would’ve been so much different., you wouldn’t have to pretend that your heart didn’t flutter every time he held you close, you wouldn’t have to hide your burning cheeks every time he called you a new nickname. At this point, you’ve lost track of all the nicknames he gave. Only if...

Your thoughts were broken as he shuffled under the sheets, making you withdraw your hand quickly and placing it to your chest, looking at him oh-so-innocently as if the thought of him wrecking you never crossed your mind.

He took a deep breath and slowly opened his eyes.

“You’re staring.” He stated as he turned his body around to switch the lights on.

“Hello stalker.” He smiled at you. “Did you sleep well?” You nodded and pretended to stretch your body as he smiled at you.

His eyes practically popped out of his head as he felt a stinging pain in his private, making him create a distance between you and him.

“So umm, will you be leaving now?” He asked he sat up, not removing the covers from his hips.

“Alreadyyyy? We just woke up. We gotta eat and watch a movie and then eat ice cream late at night.” You listed as you sat up and yawned.

Was he trying to make you leave? Chan never asked you when you’d be leaving. He knew he can’t have you around at this moment. Given he dreamt about you. About how he would hover over you and ruin you while you dug your nails in his back as you made the prettiest faces. The thought of running his fingertips over you itself turned him on and he couldn’t control it. He let out a loud sigh and got up.

“Pick a movie.” He said as he passed you his laptop.

With a wide grin, you typed in his password and pressed enter. You were a bit surprised when you saw what was already on his screen. You kept quiet, he was busy dressing up and you didn’t want the laptop to be snatched away from you again. You saw pictures of yourself, some candids you didn’t even know he had taken, memories of you both together, pictures you only sent to him (nothing inappropriate ofc, a little tight clothing a little skin show that’s all). You pressed back to find any folder with his ex in it. None. And then it hit you, he wasn’t looking at his ex, he was looking at you.

Upon realising, you slowly look up to him, he was pulling down his shirt with his back towards you. A million thoughts rushed, should you make a move? He was basically jerking off to you, right? Maybe you should. You chose a romantic movie, something which would set him off, or anything closer.

“Have you seen ‘Call Me By Your Name’?” You asked. He shook his head as to say ‘no’

“I haven’t either. I heard it’s good, and it’s Timothee Chalamet” you pouted as you tried to make your lie as believable as it could. You saw the movie the day it was released, being a huge TC enthusiast.

“You’re really obsessed with him, aren’t you?” He laughed at you which made you smile in response.

“I’ll get some snacks.” He left the room while you searched and readied the movie.

*time skip to movie*

Exactly one hour into the movie and the tension had started to build up between you and him, creating a physical distance between you both. He had a pillow in his lap on which he rested the bowl of popcorn. And so it appeared ; The scene you’ve been waiting for, to make a move, cause you knew Chan would be too shy to do so. As the guy on the screen untied the girl’s bikini top and started kissing her tummy till he went down, you paused the movie and looked at him, he turned his head towards you as to ask “what happened?”

Deep down you were nervous, you didn’t want to make him uncomfortable but might as well take the risk, right?

You took the bowl of popcorn from his hands and placed it on the ground, his eyes never leaving your face because of all the confusing thoughts running in his head. You moved the pillow from his lap, panic striking over his face as he was trying to hide his hard clothed member which was now out in the open. You licked your lips as you locked eyes with him and straddled him, with both your legs on either sides.

Chan didn’t utter a word, although his heart felt like it would explode any moment now. He had dreamt of this scenario in every possible way, and it was finally coming true, why would he withhold himself?

“What- what are you doing?” He stammered, trying to phrase the sentence correctly. His brain had began to short circuit already.

You wrapped your arms around his neck and took his hands and placed them around your waist. He eased up a little and pulled you closer. Your foreheads touching. He still could not believe this, but the smell of your berry flavoured shampoo and vanilla perfume kept reminding him that it’s real. You both gulped hard while your nose picking up the scent of his exquisite yet heavenly cologne.

Everything seemed to freeze the moment your lips touched. He cupped your face and ran his thumb over your cheek. As if to feel your skin and make sure it was really YOU and that he wasn’t dreaming all of this. You could only focus on how soft his lips were and how perfectly they were in sync with yours.

Nothing meant more to him than this moment. The way he had his arm around your waist, how he was already addicted to your lips. It was the warmth and comfort he got. And he was falling harder, craving your scent and feeling you so close to him. But his stupid, STUPID lungs had to find air, he was forced to separate from the kiss and sat there cupping your face with both hands. He kissed your cheek, and then the other, and then your chin, and nose and forehead, and lastly, a peck on your lips, and parted with a smile.

“I wanna ruin our friendship, Chan. I don’t know how to say this, cause you’re really my dearest friend” you breathe out, receiving another peck on your lips in response.

“How long have you waited to do this?” You asked.

“Long enough,” he answered.

“Can I confess?” He asked. You responded with a hum as to say yes.

“I dated Kim to make you jealous... but instead.... you invited us on double dates.” He let out a chuckle.

“She knew I wasn’t into her as much, but she still wanted to date me, I said “suit yourself”. I wasn’t surprised when she cheated on me Y/N, I knew she would. But I didn’t know she would drag HIM into this. I’m sorry.”

“You’re not the reason for my breakup, don’t apologise.” You eyes furrowed.

“Partially, I am. But... I’m pretty sure I can make you feel better than he ever did.” A smirk appeared on his lips as he looked into your eyes. Slowly leaning in, he pressed his lips onto yours, kissing with more fervour than he did before. You ran your fingers slowly through his brown locks while your other hand rested on his broad shoulder, as he gently laid you down on the mattress.

“Can I?” He asked for permission.

“Yes” you nodded. Truth be told, he was scared. He was scared he’d mess up and that everything would rush downhill from there, and he had been dreading that thought. You’ve always been his favourite girl, his partner in crime, and a single mistake would be enough to ruin everything.

He pushed your legs apart and positioned himself over you, resting on his elbows, so that not much of his weight was on you and ran his tongue over your lips. He then intertwined his hand with yours and held it above your head. As he continued sucking and biting on your lower lip, a hand underneath your top, and it went higher and higher and came to a halt at your chest, gently pressing your breast. You gasped a little as he did and he took the chance to slide his tongue in, twirling your tongue with the tip of his.

He dragged his lips to the soft skin of your neck and gently nipped your ear lobe, sipping on the soft flesh, as he wrapped your legs around his waist. Marking you all along your neck and collarbone, he slowly moved his hips towards your core and thrusted forward, grinding on you. All of these light touches and neck kisses heightened your senses and you grew a burning desire to feel him inside.

“Chan...” you breathe out. He took it as his cue and dragged your shirt up with his teeth and left it at your chest, while holding you by your waist. Leaving little pecks and marks all over your stomach, he teased your belly button with his tongue which made your breath shaky. The urge to have him touch you in other places grew.

“Stop.... teasing... me.” You tried to say.

“I don’t want to rush anything kitten. We’ve got lots of time.” He said as he kissed your neck while his one hand lifted your back and the other pulled your shirt off your head. Your chest rising and falling heavily. He kissed your lips as he unhooked your bra and threw it into another dimension. His lips and hand then found their way to your breasts. While he tweaked and palmed your breast, his mouth sucked and bit the other one. Your hands instinctively weaved his hair and pushed his head closer to you. He wanted to paint you with his lips like you were his personal canvas. Earning whimpers and low moans from you. He was enjoying this, taking every second into consideration and feeling each and every inch of your body under his lips. He could feel your impatience underneath him.

Chan kissed his way till your waist and pulled your leggings off completely, leaving you in nothing but your panties. He looked at you from down there. How your eyes were closed already and lips slightly parted. His tongue left strokes on your clothed core, creating a wet patch. He moved the panties to the side and pressed his tongue on your slit, causing you to take a deep breath. He then pressed his lips and sucked on you slit, while his tongue twirled with the nub.

“Chan....” you whined, making him smirk. He took your panties off with his teeth and got back to paying attention on your wet core. Kissing you all over, except where you want him to be. You tugged his hair as a warning. How had it come to this? Didn’t you have the upper hand at the start of this situation? When did things turn 360?

His lips left you which made you groan.

“Have a little patience kitten.” He said as he took his shirt off and kissed your jaw. He sat between your legs and extended his arm towards you.

“Get up.” You looked at him, confused. Yet, you gave him your hand and he pulled you up. Leaving soft kisses on your lips, he sat behind you, and made you rest yourself on his bare chest. He placed his hands on your thigh, signalling you to spread your legs. Kissing your neck, he massaged your breasts and slowly moved one hand down to your core, playing with the tip of your core with his thumb. You slipped out a moan with all the stimulation. Chan kept leaving tiny kisses over your shoulder and behind your ear. He slowly slid his middle finger inside, causing you to moan a little louder. Drawing figure eights on your clit, he slid in another, making you arch your back. Your moans became more lewd as he slowly picked up the pace.

Your hand trying to grip on to something as the knot in your stomach tightened, you gripped the sheets to the point where your knuckles turned while, and your other hand on Chan’s neck, who was still behind you. Fingering you at an inhuman speed, you came closer to your release.

“Are you close baby?” Chan whispered in your ear.

“Yes, so close.” You moaned out. He swiftly laid you down and placed himself in front of your core. As he kept fingering you, he licked you up and down, your hand gripping his hair in response. Your moans grew louder as you reached your high.

“Chan... I’m-“ you tried to speak in between lewd moans.

“Let it out baby, let it out.” He said. It was as if you were waiting for his permission to release. Tears brimmed your eyes and you felt like your legs would give out. He sucked as if he was being treated with his favourite juice. “You were perfect.” He said as he slowly removed his fingers, causing you to whimper because of the hollow feeling. He moved up to your mouth and ran his thumb over your lower lip, which made you open your mouth. Looking into your eyes, he put his two fingers in your mouth, which you sucked obediently, twirling your tongue around them, cleaning your juices off. Chan bit his lip.

“You see how sweet you taste? How can you look so innocent while you do this?” He asked as he removed his fingers and placed soft kisses on your lips and neck. He laid down beside you. You moved yourself to position yourself over him, ready to give him some pleasure.

“No princess.” He said as he pushed you back on his bed, turning you towards him.

“We can do that later. I only wanted to make you feel good.” He said as he wrapped his arm around your waist and kissed your shoulder.

“But-“ you got cut off by Chan kissing you. He broke the kiss and smiled.

“I’m happy.” He said and planted a kiss on your forehead. “I love you so much Y/N.” and pulled you close.

“I love you too, Channie.” You said as you wrapped yourself around him.

“Let’s get you cleaned up, come on.” He said and took you by your hand to his washroom. After cleaning up, he gave you his hoodie, he always wanted you wear his hoodies. While you were putting his hoodie on, you heard him chuckle. You pulled your head through and looked at him as to ask ‘what’s up?’

Pulling you close, he kissed your temple. “We didn’t start this the correct way, but.. would you do the honour of being my girlfriend?” He chuckled.

“I don’t know Chan.” You pressed your lips together, making it look like you were considering his proposal. “Maybe if you took me out on a date, I would.” You looked at him and smiled. He left a tiny peck on your lips.

“I would love to. Wanna have breakfast with me? Then we’ll go someplace, where it’s only you and me.” He said as he laced his fingers with yours.

“Sounds amazing.” You said, resting your foreheads together.