#I’d also like to skip ahead by several months

[thebadasshistorian]

I didn’t take any time off work (apart from one day to attend the funeral), and idk. I wish I could. I don’t make enough money to cut back, and honestly, sometimes it’s nice to have a distraction. But writing is so difficult rn. Today I edited ten pages and then fell asleep. Then fell down a YouTube hole. I don’t have any thoughts worth having. Every night I binge comedy videos to numb my brain, otherwise I’d never fall asleep. I want to rip out my heart and give it away.

[collapsedglasshouses]

NOTHING GOOD HAPPENS AFTER 2 AM [Nick Ruffilo x fem!Reader]

PAIRING: Nick Ruffilo x Noah's sister

WARNINGS: 18+, SMUT, MDNI!, protected p in v, fingering, handjob, reader’s hair is mentioned if that counts as a warning, counts nicky as a warning??, idk let me know if i forgot something, this is not really proof read sry

SUMMARY: Your brother Noah's best friend has always been your weak spot. Nothing ever happened and you eventually gave up hope. But things seem to take a turn when Nick visits for a weekend and you find him in the kitchen in the middle of the night.

(y/h/c) = your hair color; (y/e/c) = your eye color

A/N: This idea came to me while I was watching HIMYM (i still dont like ted but that is another story). Sooo, the title was inspired by it. Also we have a small mention of one of my favourite white boys Rory Culkin (: I hope you enjoy!

You sighed as you finally closed your laptop and stared at the wall straight ahead of you. You had finally finished writing one of your papers for university and could relax for a day or two. Normally, this would calm you down. But given the fact that your brother’s best friend was at your apartment at the moment, left you at unease.

You remembered Nick for at least half your life. Your older brother, Noah, had met him back in school and everything was so cliché about that. Your best friend in high school had a severe crush on Noah and given the fact that you were both teenagers raging through puberty, it was no wonder that you had laid eyes on your brother’s best friend.

Years later, with nothing effectively happening between you, you would think that this crush would fade out somehow, but to your surprise, when you saw him standing in your doorway that morning, it felt like you were fifteen again.

It wasn’t like this crush was never gone, you had a boyfriend or two in the meantime, but something about Nick had and will always catch you.

One look at your phone revealed that it was almost 2 AM. Your stomach reminded you that you had skipped dinner. Your brain told you it was because you needed to finish that paper, but your heart told you it was so you could avoid getting distracted by the sheer presence of Nicholas, who was only one room away from you, probably gaming with your brother.

The last couple of months, you had successfully avoided seeing Nick for more than a couple of minutes, even though this seemed like an almost impossible task. Since your brother and you had decided to rant out a flat together, so you could share costs, everything had changed. Noah left his old band and now he was almost always occupied planning a project. He wanted to start a new band and who better to ask than his best friend, who happened to be able to play the guitar.

You sighed as your tummy started to rumble again and finally got up from your desk to find something to eat. When you walked around the corner and into the kitchen you stopped in your tracks for second. Of course, this would happen. Sooner or later, you knew this would happen.

“Still writing on your paper?” Nick asked and drank a sip out of his glass. You felt how your gaze fixated on the tattoo on his hand for a second too long, so you shook your head for a second to get your thoughts out of your head. Unsuccessfully.

“Just finished.” You mumbled before stepping to the fridge. You just settled for a yoghurt since you didn’t want to cook anything at these ungodly hours. “What are you up to?” You asked him and leaned against the counter next to him, careful not to get to close.

“Noah fell asleep and occupied the whole bed with his legs, and now I can’t fall asleep, so I decided to get out of his room.” He answered you, before running a hand through his hair. It has gotten a lot longer over time and you liked it a lot.

“I can set up the couch for you, if you want.” You offered, even though you wouldn’t want your worst enemy to sleep on that thing. Nick apparently knew that too. “I’d rather sleep on the floor… or on a board with nails.”

You laughed lightly at his statement before throwing away the yoghurt cup and then leaning against the doorframe of the kitchen.

“You could sleep in my bed, and I’ll take the couch.” You then suggested, but Nick frantically shook his head.

“Nope, I can’t rob you of your beauty sleep.” Nick quickly answered and you jokingly opened your mouth in offense. “Did you just call me ugly?”

Nick rolled his eyes, while smiling. “No, I indirectly called you a princess, y/n.”

You knew he was joking, but you still felt your cheeks heat up, so you looked away for a second, in the hopes he didn’t see it.

“I’m just gonna push your brother off his bed, don’t worry.” He then exclaimed and pushed himself off the counter. He walked past you, while you started to think. You didn’t know if it was the tiredness creeping up in your bones or your delusional head, but before you could stop yourself you started to talk again.

“You could stay in my room until you’re tired enough. We could watch a movie or something.” You mumbled so fast you didn’t even know if you understood what you said. But Nick heard you. He heard you loud and clear, considering he stopped in his tracks and looked at you again.

“You sure?” He asked. Of course, you weren’t sure, but you still nodded.

A quiet voice in the back of your voice started to whisper. It whispered the words your grandmother had always told you.

“Nothing good happens after 2 AM.”

The sentence repeated itself in your head as you walked past Nick and then opened your bedroom door for him to get in.

It felt like he looked right into your soul as his gaze wandered around the room. It wasn’t too big, but bigger than Noah’s bedroom. In exchange, he got the third room in the apartment for his music stuff. On the walls hung a couple of pictures with your best friend and even one with Nick and Noah from a wedding you went to when you were 16 or 17.

Nick’s eyes fixated on your messy desk. You hadn’t had the time to clean up.

“You wrote your paper on managing bands?” He asked and smiled a bit to himself as his gaze wandered over your notes. You stepped next to him and nodded.

“Yeah. Since I’m studying management and wanna specialize on music business, it came to me naturally.” You explained and ran a hand through your hair. It went without saying what you meant with that statement. You wanted to support your brother’s dreams and since you never had too much interest in learning an instrument yourself, you wanted to at least do something in that field.

“So, we are basically only missing another guitarist and a drummer?” Nick asked and had this tone of excitement in his voice that made you smile a little broader.

“You found a bassist?” You asked surprised and Nick nodded. “Vincent, a fellow tattoo artist. We’re good friends and he agreed to join the project.

“Oh my god! Noah didn’t even tell me. That’s so cool.” You exclaimed and before you knew you hugged Nick from the side. It took him by surprise for a second, considering you normally didn’t even hug, but soon he relaxed and ran his hand over your arm.

When you realized what you did, you quickly got out of that embrace. You hated yourself for the bubbly feeling that formed in your stomach from such a small interaction and decided to get some distance.

“So…” You cleared your throat and sat on your bed. “What do you wanna watch?”

“What are the options?” He asked and also sat down with a bit of a distance to you.

“I do not have Netflix, but I recently bought Scream 4.” You answered him and didn’t even think about the fact that you weren’t the biggest fan of watching horror movies at night. Normally you were too scared for that, but there was this little delusional part of your brain that told you it would be the best idea.

“I’m cool with that.” Nick answered you and you saw how he smiled lopsidedly for a second.

Half an hour later you both were laying on your bed, your blanket over the both of you, even though you definitely had more of it, since you always needed to get comfortable when you watched scary movies. It wasn’t like Scream was too scary, but you still didn’t want to get scared in front of Nick.

“You know, I think Scream got worse and worse over time.” Nick than said, but he blinked a couple of times when he saw how offended you looked.

“Take that back, Ruffilo.” You grumbled and crossed your arms in front of your chest.

“What? No. You can’t tell me Scream 4 is better than the first one.” He explained himself and turned to you to look at you better.

“I didn’t say that.” You answered him, but still looked offended.

“Tell me one thing that you actually enjoy about this movie.” He then demanded and if it was fate, a scene with Charlie Walker was shown.

Nick watched you intently as your cheeks slowly but surely got redder and redder. It took him a second what your reaction meant.

“Aaaah… It’s not the movie you like. Y/n has a crush on Charlie Walker.” He teased you and started to grin.

“No, I do not.” – “Yes, you do.” – “Nick, I swear-…”

“What do you like about him?” Nick asked and his tone wasn’t as teasing as before. He genuinely looked like he wanted to know.

“I don’t know.” You sighed and also turned to Nick. “I like that he isn’t popular and has a nerdy hobby. That he is shy and not an extrovert. I feel like extroverts scare me sometimes.”

Nick laughed a little and agreed with you.

“I also really like long dark hair. Especially when they have light eyes as well. I don’t know it’s just fitting.” You explained yourself further and didn’t even realize, who also had these features. You saw how Nick began to smile softly.

“You like dark long hair and light eyes?” He repeated your statement. “And introverts with a nerdy hobby?”

That was when you realized what you just told him. You swallowed hard and noticed how your stomach began to feel warm again. You looked away from his eyes quickly, not really knowing what to answer, so you simple stuttered a quiet. “Y-…yeah. I guess so.”

You were almost sure Nick wouldn’t say anything else since almost an eternity passes before, he opened his mouth again. “You know, I noticed over the years that I really like girls with (y/h/c) hair and (y/e/c) eyes. Especially in that combo.”

You had to forcefully stop your mouth from opening. You thought you must have heard it wrong. There was simply no way that Nick was really implying what you thought he was implying.

For a second, you contemplated what to do, but when nothing came to your mind, you simply looked at him again with questioning eyes. Nick started to smile a little and even though it was dark in your room, you saw the faint pink blush on his cheeks.

The words of your grandma started to form in your head again. “Nothing good happens after 2AM” You knew what you were thinking was dumb. You should have just turned to your TV again, but when you saw how his eyes travelled to your lips for a second, you decided to ignore every moral you had in your body. This would probably be your only chance, and you were dumb if you didn’t take it.

You leaned slightly forward and before you knew, you felt his lips on yours. Even though, you had never kissed before, it felt so familiar, you couldn’t help but sigh into the kiss. His breath became more strained and soon you felt a hand sneak on your waist. You let yourself get pulled closer to him.

The kiss ended sooner as you wished it had. You didn’t dare to open your eyes as you felt his breath on your face.

“We shouldn’t do this.” He whispered, his words almost coming out as a whine.

“We definitely shouldn’t.” You breathed out before leaning into him again. Your hands started to roam and before you could even process what was happening, he pulled you onto his lap.

His hands ran over your waist, and you felt how he lifted his hips for just a moment. Every little thought in your brain that told you that maybe this wasn’t the best idea just vanished. You needed him.

Nick broke the kiss for a second and looked you deep in the eyes. “I want you.”

“Oh, it’s giving serial killer.” You joked and he laughed for a second, before he placed a hand on your cheek. “Don’t act like you wouldn’t like that.”

To your surprise there was a thing that was totally different, when he kissed you again. You didn’t feel like there was an exploding firework or those sparks you thought would happen. You just felt safe. It felt like you were meant to kiss. Like everything belong the way it was.

With a swift motion, Nick turned you, so you were laying under him.

“You know, we don’t have to do anything, y/n.” He reassured you. His dark hair was dangling in your face and his greyish blue eyes seemed darker than normal.

“I want this, Nick. I want you.” You reassured him too.

“Oh, look who’s giving serial killer now.” He joked and you reached out to playfully slap his chest, but he caught your hand. He placed a kiss on it, before letting go of it again and placing small kisses on your neck. You instantly tilted your head to give him better access and your hands wandered in his hair.

“You smell so nice.” He whispered and placed a kiss under your ear which made you breath out quietly.

The desire in you was burning as your hands travelled down his chest and to the band of his sweatpants. You could feel the contraction of his stomach as he inhaled sharply.

Eagerly, he began to dip lower, his lips exploring your heated skin. With a swift motion of you two, you both lost your shirts. Every touch was electric, sent a shockwave through your system and left your chest aching with a warmth that you hoped would never cool. You could feel the arousal pooling in your stomach, as Nick nipped at the skin of your chest.

It went without saying as you lifted yourself up a little and in a swift motion, he opened your bra that soon found its place on the floor with your shirts.

As Nick’s hand shifted, cupping your breast, your own hand dipped beneath the band of his pants. Your fingers brushed the warm skin, followed by the stuttering breath Nick released, even as his own hands began to trail lower. He played with the hem of your shorts for a second, before dipping beneath them as well, as he supported his weight with his other hand.

Before you could say anything, Nick’s hand shifted exactly where you wanted them. Warm fingers swiped at your slick folds, gathering the evidence of your arousal easily.

You can feel the throbbing from his dick as you slowly began to stroke his length, while he began to draw small circles on your clit. You tried your hardest to contain your moans, but when you looked him in the eyes for second, you couldn’t help but whimper.

Nick smirked slightly as he began to lower his hand, one finger teasing your entrance. You exhaled shakingly, when he slowly pushes a finger inside.

“Oh god.” You whined quietly and slightly increased your movement. The noise that escaped his lips alone made you fall apart.

He moved his gaze to look in your eyes for a second. “Are you alright?”

You nodded quickly, too caught up in the moment to respond in words, before pulling him down for a bruising kiss. Slowly he begins to move his finger inside of you. He continues, letting you get used to it, before slowly entering a second one.

“Fuck, Nick-…“ You gasped as he curled both fingers, slowly increasing the movements. With his two fingers fully inside you, his palm pressing against your clit.

You stopped moving your hand in his pants as you felt a sensation built up in you that never form as quickly as it did at this moment. But you stop him.

“What?” He asked. “Everything alright?”

“Yes, but I want to come with you.” You answered him and saw how his pupils widened even more.

“Are you sure? You know we don’t have to do more and-…” – “Nick, I want you to fuck me.”

His eyes widened at your statement, but he wasted no time, getting rid of his pants and underwear as you also slipped out of yours.

“Do you have condoms here?” He asked, his voice raspy.

“In the top drawer.” You answered shortly, before attacking Nick’s neck with kisses as he reached for drawer.

Shortly after, Nick grabbed both of your legs and opened them up for him. You sighed in anticipation and gripped your bedsheet as he slowly lowered himself into you.

Your mouth was open in the shape of a silent scream as Nick simultaneously let out a quiet groan into your ear. He stayed still for a second as he bottomed out, catching his breath. His next words made you spiral. “God, I thought this would never happen.”

He gave you no chance to reply as he pulled all the way out, just the tip still inside of you, before thrusting inside of you with a little more force. His rhythm was slow but deep, bumping into your cervix with each thrust of his hips.

You held onto his shoulder, careful not to let out a loud noise. He lowered himself onto your chest, paying attention to not crushing you. You couldn’t even have moaned, only small whimpers leaving your lips as you still tried to process what was happening.

As your hands travelled to his hair, to get a better grip, one of his found its way back to your clit. You already were so close to falling apart.

“Please, y/n. I beg you. Please cum for me.” He breathed out and leaned his forehead against yours. Your body was trembling as you reached your orgasm.

You let out a silent scream as you reached your peak. He was quick to move his fingers away from your clit as you gripped his hair. You felt how he tried to contain his own noise as his cock began to twitch inside of you.

“Fuck.” He whispered in a stuttering tone and moved for a couple of seconds longer, before slowly pulling out of you and letting himself fall onto you as the end credits of Scream 4 were the only noise in the room, besides your erratic breaths.

You both laid in each other’s arms for an extended period of time, while you ran your hands through his hair as he hugged you tightly. It felt like you both couldn’t believe what just had happened. He placed sloppy kisses along your collarbone, causing you to laugh slightly, still in disbelief.

When he lifted his head to look at you, he had a small smile on his face. “Everything alright?”

“If never been better, I think.” You mumbled and for a second you just looked each other in your eyes with unspoken feelings dangling between you. That was when he leaned in again and place a small and sweet kiss on your lips.

This was when you realized that maybe your grandma had been wrong.

Maybe the best things happen after 2 AM.

TAGLIST: @measuredingold @cncohshit @circle-with-me @jilliemiw86

@justeli6 @sitkowski @exitwoundsx

dividers by @saradika-graphics

[anthropologyruinseverything]

🚨Mature Content ahead, minors DNI, plz stop reading and move along!🚨

Jey Uso x Mixed female (alternating 1st person pov)

Here we go! I’m so nervous lol - but I am working hard towards my goal of completing several novels I have started. One is about a pirate queen saving her granddaughter, another about a grim reaper who enlists the help of a psychic to find a dangerous spirit that escaped.

Reading fanfiction has always been fun for me, I love reading, writing the wwe so this has been a really fun exercise to get some practice and take a break from the harder/darker plots lines I am writing. This fic here is absolutely a fluffy, smutty and unedited piece that I wrote for fun but I welcome any and all feedback yall have. I figure why not combine something fun with growth?

***A note: this is strictly a fun work of fiction and exercise to help me grow as a writer! I feel very strongly about leaving people to their privacy so and this is very AU/fiction heavy based on a television character, not the actual person. I know he has kids and even has one of them with him sometimes but it just makes me uncomfortable to include anyone actually under the age of 18 and not a character in their own right in the fic. For this reason I just made up a name and age for the kiddo. Thanks for understanding! (Oh, also, I assume most of yall reading this know what Jey looks like so I don’t need to spend a lot of time describing him)

Summary: It’s April (timeline is not perfect forgive me) of 2020 and eighteen year old Aurora “Rori” Begay is the new nanny for Jey Uso. Feelings ‘inappropriate’ for their relationship as employer and client begin to bloom in both of them but they keep it to themselves. When her mom’s abusive boyfriend attacks her one night, Jey comes to her rescue and everything changes.

Idk where this is headed but all I can tell you is there will be smut and an HEA. Mentions of physical abuse and attempted SA but not discussed in great detail. Please take care of yourself, I will include a little warning before something that might be triggering if you wanna skip it.

This is part 1 (first 2 chapters)

Word count: 2.4k

Chapter 1:

Aurora POV

“My Rori’s here!” Jason lunged from his father’s arms into mine as soon as I made it through the door of the unassuming but well kept blue house.

“Hey little dude!” I gladly received the three year old, doing my best to avoid touching Josh too much in doing so. Every time we so much as brushed hands it caused a rolling wave of butterflies and warmth. Not unpleasant but also not an appropriate thing to feel for someone who was technically my boss. And the last thing I needed in my life right now was to lose my job, especially over a stupid crush.

Due to the pandemic ramping up Josh was home from his job that normally demanded a lot of travel. Even though he wasn’t traveling he still had commitments and a job that required several hours of training daily in the gym on top of meetings and zoom calls. He’d explained the plan his company had until they could safely begin touring again, a plan that would see them staying here in Florida for several months to a year.

Long enough for me to save up enough to get out of my own place, even if my mother was demanding a high rent. I was glad I’d fibbed about just how much Josh was paying me weekly or she would have demanded even more.

“Swim! Swim! Wanna go swimming!” I juggled the excited toddler in my arms trying not to drop my day bag.

Coming to the rescue Josh grabbed the green backpack and smiled at me in a way that turned my insides to mush. “We gotta eat first little man.”

“Are you free today?” I hoped I didn’t sound as excited as I felt. At first I’d found it odd he still wanted me there even when he wasn’t going to be busy for the day but quickly started to look forward to spending time with both of them.

“Yeah, my meetings were cancelled. I was thinking I’d join y’all for swimming lessons and whatever else you got planned. If that’s cool with you.”

As if I was going to say no.

I looked at Jason with a grin. “Whaddya think? Want Daddy to hang out with us today?”

“Hang out with daddy AND Rori! Swim!”

“What about you?” It was hard not to read too much into his expression or the way his voice seemed to drop a little. “I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

Oh, of course. He’s trying to be considerate of my feelings as a person and I’m drooling at the way his voice changes when he is speaking to another adult. I swallowed my embarrassment and put on a big grin. “Not at all, it’ll be great to hangout! Now how about some breakfast?”

There wasn’t much Jason loved more than swimming but one thing was for certain.

“PANCAKES!”

—-

Jey POV

It did things to me when she called me “Daddy”, even if it was in this context.

Maybe I could get Joe or Braun to hit me in the head next time we’re wrestling.

Really, really hard.

Well, maybe not Braun, I didn’t want to die after all.

I needed some sense knocked back into me around this girl though. I can’t keep my eyes off her and thought about her way too often. She’s only eighteen and I should not be feeling this way about my sons *nanny.* Watching her as she moved around the kitchen, letting little man help her with making breakfast it brought an excited sense of peace.

My eyes dutifully followed the sway of her curvy bottom as she sidestepped small feet with a laugh. I wanted to wind my hands into that waist length brunette hair while I devoured her pouty lips.

Wanted to see her pretty green eyes tear up with those lips wrapped around my dick.

I wanted a lot of things from Miss Aurora Begay.

Isolating was hard, I hadn’t had a chance to go out or hookup with a chick since New Year’s Eve. Maybe that was my problem. She was close, pretty and had a great laugh.

But the truth was I hadn’t wanted someone so bad in a long time. Jason’s mom had burned me pretty hard when she decided she didn’t want to be invested in his life, or mine.

You travel too much she’d said. Come to find out “you travel too much” really meant I’d rather be fucking other dudes in another country.

More power to her. We’d started out casual but when she fell pregnant I’d stepped up and even offered to marry her and let myself get invested. Not the best way to start but I was willing to give it a shot for him.

“How many?”

“Huh?”

Rori pulled me out of my thoughts with a light tough to my shoulder and a giggle. She smiled down at me. “I asked you how many pancakes would you like? I’m using the protein mix.”

Of course she’d ferreted out the healthiest pancakes for someone with my training regime. She was always doing thoughtful shit like that and I loved it. Loved that she would modify things for me, make me a plate or keep one warm for me in the oven when something ran longer than planned.

It was hard not to let all that spill.

She raised her eyebrows. “Josh?”

*I’m so fucked.*

“Uh, make it four.”

Thirty minutes later and I’m waiting for them the come downstairs. Jason appeared at the top of the steps first in his matching swimming trunks and shirt all decked out with tiger sharks. His favorite animal at the moment. He proudly held up his shark goggles. “Look daddy, I’m a shark!”

In a weird way I was grateful for the lockdown. I’d never been able to spend so much time with him and it made me happier than I’d ever been. “I see little man! Where’s Rori?”

“Coming, sorry!”

Chapter 2 -

Aurora POV

Josh stood at the bottom of the steps in nothing but black swimming trunks. My mouth went dry and heart pounded as I tried not to stare at him while Jason and I made our way downstairs hand in hand. It was tough though, his dark bronze skin and spiraling tattoos were mesmerizing.

He’d given me a cursory glance before looking away and even though I’m not terribly vain, it stung my pride a little. I should be ashamed that I picked the cheap and simple but pretty blue mesh halter and boy short set because I thought be would like it. As if he’d ever look at me the same way I do him.

Tucking the sadness away I padded out to the pool with Jason who was already fighting with his arm floats before he’d made it to the water. “Here let me help-“

The words were cut off by splash of water, my own shriek of surprise and Jason’s shriek of laughter. Josh had blown by us to canon ball into the water before surfacing with a challenging smirk.

It would be hard to ignore the heat pooling between my legs.

Well, until little man threw his arms up and demanded to be thrown in for a big splash that is. Happy to oblige and to cool off I scooped him up and we jumped in. What I’d planned as a swimming lesson turned into lots of laughing and splashing with Jason getting brave enough to paddle back and forth between us a few times.

After a while he was tired and become more preoccupied with making his pool toy shark eat his other action figures. Josh drifted over to where I stood in the shallow water while Jason played nearby on the step. “Hey.”

“Hey?”

“What happened here?” Gently he brought his fingers to a healing bruise on my arm. Anxiety twisted my stomach painfully. I had to come up with something, my mother had trained me to lie about this sort of thing.

“Oh, uh, I just, I just dropped something when I was reaching for a can on a shelf at home. Clumsy, just brought my arm up so it wouldn’t like hit me on the face or anything. Nothing, no worries.” I realized I was rambling when his brow furrowed and he narrowed his eyes.

Fuck. He didn’t need to know mom’s latest boyfriend was a real dick, even for her.

“A can huh?”

The truth was I hadn’t moved fast enough to get out of his way a couple days ago and so he grabbed me by the arm, hard enough to leave those prints, shook me and slung me across the room. Not the first time one of the men she’d brought home had done something similar but no one had ever really paid attention and my mom had threatened me with much worse if I ever told.

“Yeah, just a stupid accident.” I tried to smile reassuringly but could tell it wasn’t working. Josh opened his mouth but fortunately for me, little man chose then to pounce, throwing himself at us with abandon only a happy toddler could achieve.

“Make splashes Rori!”

“You sure did! How about we get dried off and go watch a movie?” I was grateful for the distraction. Hopefully he would let it go.

————

Jey POV

Late that night I laid in bed scrolling through photos from the last few weeks, looking for clues and wracking my brain for an explanation. Aurora had never lied to me before and I should have her drug tested if she thought I bought that story about the can. I know what a bruise from someone gripping you too tightly looks like. Why was she being so evasive about it?

*Does she have a boyfriend? Some little shit who thinks he’s tough?*

An intense anger erupted in my chest at the thought of anyone putting their hands on her. In any way. Thinking about her kissing someone else, *fucking* someone else, made me physically sick.

I resolved to get the the bottom of it. Why weren’t her parents doing anything about it? Did they notice?

Wait. Does she live with them?

It dawned on me that I know next to nothing about her or her living situation. Most of our conversations revolve around Jason or the chores or how my day had been or what I wanted for dinner. I knew she was a college student and we’d chatted about a few times about things like music or movies or my job but never had she mentioned her family or friends or relationships at all, except one girl named Jamie. And all I knew about her was that they’d seen a movie together recently.

I’d snapped a few pictures today. Only one of just her but that was the one I settled on looking at. She stood mid thigh in the pool, her golden skin wet and the red of her messy bun stood out in the sunlight. The swimsuit wasn’t too revealing but I’d almost embarrassed myself. Seeing her coming down the steps it that simple but sexy outfit had me at half mast in no time, I’d had no choice but to hustle my ass into the cold pool or risk her noticing.

Looking at the picture now I had the same problem, my cock twitching to life at the thought of tasting her everywhere. Closing my eyes I dropped my phone and let myself pull my boxers down. Picturing her sweet smile I imagined she was there with me, straddling my waist, her walls clenched tightly around me.

Slowly I started stroking myself, imaginary Aurora’s movements were careful and shy and gentle, just like everything else about her. Her small hands braced against my chest, fingers digging in as her cheeks flushed with pleasure and she panted in need.

*”Daddy, please!”*

Increasing my pace I imagined taking control, clutching her hips and bracing myself with my ankles as I thrust up at a much more aggressive pace. My knees drew up and I clutched the sheet with my free hand as her cries filled my ears.

*”Harder Daddy, yes yes! I’m gonna cum!”*

I didn’t fight the groan that rose in my throat as I sped up even more. It was my fantasy and we would finish together.

“Fuck Rori, baby…” I bit my lip when I came, spilling hot ropes of cum onto my stomach as my hips bucked and twitched. For a few seconds I just lay there breathing hard.

I’d lost count of how many times I’d gotten off this exact same way now. I knew I should stop but it was becoming something of an obsession. It wouldn’t be the first time in my life I’d developed a fixation, just not quite so focused in on a particular female before.

I hoped it would pass when the lockdowns lifted and I could get some of this pent up want out but deep inside I knew that wouldn’t be the case.

No, something about those big hazel eyes and loving personality had dug itself deep inside me. I swiped at the mess I’d made with my shirt before throwing it in the hamper in the corner of the room. A twisted part of me hoped she’d notice when she did laundry and wonder if I was thinking about her but the realistic part of me would kick in and handle the mess in the morning.

Settling in to the covers I hoped she was comfortable and safe, wherever she was.

[jewelthenerd]

Monkie Kid AND pirates!?!?!? Please, do share.❤️

The way I internally screamed when I saw this in my askbox /pos 

( The actual au rambling starts after the ‘——————‘ in case anyone reading this wants to skip, everything before that is just me talking ) 

Sorry for not answering immediately by the way! I was having trouble gathering my thoughts in a way that could actually be considered cohesive because I kept coming back to the fact that I made one colored sketch of my stupid Monkie Kid pirate au that I haven’t touched since June and got an ask about it within 24 hours of posting said sketch. ( Technically, 3 asks, but the other 2 are from my bestie Dark who’s obligated to support me, as he is my best friend, so those don’t count /j ( Love you Dark don’t kill me please ) )

Originally I wanted to draw something for this ask. Then I remembered Macaque is the only one with a proper drawn design right now ( and he doesn’t even have a reference ) because I decided to redesign everyone since the other designs are from several months ago and my art has changed since then. I didn’t want to leave this ask sitting in my inbox for however long it’d take me to design all the characters I’d need for the idea I had, so I decided to just settle for a little au ranting instead, though once I get those designs done I will be trying to draw for asks ( that is, if I get any other asks about this au ).

Okay, now it’s time to actually ramble about what you came to hear about- I apologize if it’s a little all over the place, I haven’t ever really talked about this au outside of conversations with friends haha

————————————

I’ve decided to only talk about a few things for now because if I tried to go over everything it’d be way too long and nobody wants to read that much about a random Monkie Kid pirate au. So instead I’ve decided to just give a summarized explanation of how this au starts, a plus a few little fun facts about the characters.

I would like to say that I did screw logic a little bit with this au. As in, logically, if pirates were common before Wukong was imprisoned under a mountain, things would probably be a lot different during the main events of the au, which takes place over a thousand years later. However it’s not that different, because I made this au for the pirates, not the logic. Plus, Monkie Kid isn’t the most ‘realistic’ show anyways, that’s one of the things that makes it fun.

Oh, also, I think I mentioned this in the first post about this au a few months ago, but this au was created when I made the impulsive decision to watch all the Pirates of the Caribbean movies on a random Thursday in May. I mention this because I think there’s definitely some stuff in the au that you can tell was inspired by/based on the Pirates of the Caribbean movies, especially with Lady Bone Demon and the events of Season 3, Macaque also has a thing going on that closely resembles something in one of those movies, not an exact match, but pretty dang close. Not even covering any of that stuff in this rant I just thought I’d go ahead and get that out of the way so nobody notices the similarities and thinks it was something I was trying to hide ahah-

✨Now time to actually explain the start of the au✨

MK, via shenanigans, ends up on the ship of Sun Wukong, the Monkey King, who’s a well-known hero and MK’s idle. Wukong decides he likes the kid’s energy and wants to train him, if he can prove himself, that is ( also the kid can lift his staff which is pretty much a clear sign he should mentor said kid ). MK agrees, meanwhile his friends are trying to figure out what the heck happened to him and where he’s gone, going down a conspiracy theory/rumor rabbit hole until they all decide that MK is likely in danger and needs their help, so they all pack their things and set off with barely any idea what they’re doing but enough spirit to make up for it. MK passes his trial, greatly angering the Demon Bull Family in the process- but hey, his friends are here now! Though he’s just now realizing he didn’t tell anyone before he left and they all thought he was missing. Since MK passed the test, Wukong is ready to have him as a student, unfortunately MK is also just now realizing he has to pick between going home and staying so Wukong can mentor him. He’s torn, it’s an impossible decision to make, so obviously he decides not to make it at all, instead turning to ask his brand new mentor and asking if maybe- just maybe- his friends could stay too? If they helped out and didn’t cause too much trouble? Wukong, after much persuasion, agrees, though somewhat reluctantly, if MK’s friends wish to stay, they can. Then MK has to convince his friends that dropping their entire lives to live on a boat is a good idea, which he surprisingly does accomplish, it helped that Mei was on his side almost immediately. So, after a quick trip home to get everything in order, they all set sail together, eagerly awaiting the adventures to come ( while completely oblivious to the horrors that would follow /j )

And now it’s time for…

✨A Somewhat Chaotic And Random Character Fun Fact List✨

Ne Zha is overworked and not paid enough for this bullshit

MK accidentally gets close to killing his opponent(s) on multiple occasions 

Tang ran a little book store before the main events of the au started

Lady Bone Demon never possesses a child

Mei gets a gun

Red Son lost most of his left leg, he built his own prosthetic

Macaque embraced the ‘spooky ghost pirate villain’ role a LOT before his eventual redemption 

The Spider Gang lives!

Wukong does have a permit and it’s not just a piece of paper that says “I do what I want” /hj

Vague height order, tallest to shortest, goes: Sandy, Ne Zha ( with rings ), Red Son, Tang, Wukong, Ne Zha ( without rings ), Macaque, MK, Mei, Pigsy ( Obviously I didn’t include EVERY character, just the main cast + my favorites )

Out of MK’s friends, Sandy is the only one who really knows anything about sailing

Macaque has a frankly ridiculous amount of daggers hidden in both areas he visits frequently and his outfit ( my guy even keeps one in each of his boots )

MK’s swimming abilities are mediocre at best

I think that’s a pretty good amount of information to start out with, since I DO want to post more about this au in the future. I don’t know how consistently I’d post since it takes me a lot longer to finish stuff, but I’d definitely try my best! I mean, just typing out answers to questions is easy, but if possible I’d like to draw stuff to go with answers and such. But this is like- the best case scenario where magically a group of people who are invested in the idea of a Monkie kid pirate au find this, which I don’t really expect tbh, it really just depends on how things go ig.

Anyways, if you got this far, thanks for taking the time to read all of this, I hope it was entertaining, I hope there’s no typos, I’m going to go draw my pirates now

[animatedaf]

It’s that time of year again, time to look over the last twelve months of creative productivity! This was my busiest year for freelance animation EVER, with six projects all pretty much one after the other, some of which lasted several months! For the first time in over ten years animation actually felt like my main job! Read on for full details on each month (with links to things in bold)!

January:

I kickstarted the year with an attempt to keep myself busy (haha) by coming up with weekly personal illustrations to work on while livestreaming. This included a couple based on childhood toys, followed by fan art of games I was playing at the time. 

I also started my first freelance gig of the year about visiting a recycling center for Love Essex, which was finished and released in early Feb.

February:

I continued the weekly art streams (though I did skip one week while I was wrapping up the animation work) that included more Balan Wonderworld fan art and another nostalgia trip based around old TV game show Fun House which was seen and approved by Pat Sharp himself!

I also made some Valentine’s day silliness for CherryT and with her help also created this ridiculous Art Data-Blast video featuring all of my art over the years with a 90′s TV inspired intro.

March:

A big turning point for my livestreams arrived here when I decided to create a PNGTuber using Veadotube Mini! I livestreamed the majority of my experimentation and process and the cutdown videos about it became some of my biggest hits on YouTube yet! Going forward I would now use this animated avatar instead of a webcam, though this would actually end up being the last month of the year that I’d have any time to livestream because...

April:

..April would be the start of one of the biggest projects: six one-minute animated shorts for the Scottish Illegal Money Lending Unit about the dangers of loan sharks. This month was spent mostly storyboarding most of the films and completing the first one.

At the same time concepts were being developed for another six-minute piece of animation that I would need to juggle alongside the above project over the coming months!

I should also mention here life-wise I changed my daily job from working in a cinema to...working in a smaller, closer to home cinema!

May:

This month was mostly spent storyboarding for the second big project and waiting around for approval while the Loan Shark project was put on hold, so while I had a bit of spare time I gave my website a new lick of paint (including some new art of old characters) and made several illustrations including my favorite Eurovision 2022 act (now my most popular Tumblr post ever for some reason!), joining in on the Catoon Network CMYK art fad, and fan art of a fellow PNGTuber. I was also commissioned by Jadypie to create some cute animal Twitch emotes!

June:

After two pieces of quick art including another obscure game character and another excuse to draw Amy Rose, me and CherryT took a couple days away to visit the theme park Alton Towers, which I made a travel vlog about! 

The 2nd film for the Stop Loan Sharks series was completed this month and this was when the 2nd big project was given the official go ahead! The six-and a half minute long film has yet to be released and might end up staying in the private sector but it was a pre-birth social work training video for Essex County Council  with a similar subject matter and art style to the Annabelle’s Journey film I made last year. Clips of it can be seen in my latest showreel.

I also drew these guys for some reason.

July:

This month was almost exclusively knuckling down to get the un-released film fully animated. Much like the Annabelle film this was a massive amount of hand-drawn animation squeezed into just over one month! I also made time to do this commission for PCWzrd.

August:

With that long, time-consuming project out of the way it was time to jump back into the Loan Shark films. Two were completed in April and June but I still had four to go, so this month and most of September was day-to-day animating again!

September:

I was getting these Loan Shark films done at a rate of roughly 10 days per film, though the last one took a little longer as it was yet to be storyboarded until now. This project was finally complete midway through the month and released near the end!

Somewhere in the middle of all this I managed to fit in some livestreams of the Sonic Fan Games Expo and some reactions to some gaming events.

In the last week of the month I worked on a pretty exciting commission that I need to stay tight-lipped about for now!

October:

This month was started by wrapping up the above commission and jumping into another, thankfully much shorter 1 minute animation for the English Stop Loan Sharks company that has also not yet seen the light of day, but you can see a short clip of it in my latest showreel. As soon as that was done another big project approached!

November:

This freelance gig started at the end of October and lasted all through November and up until the middle of December! This one has released in January 2023, a short film called What a Waste! 

There was a break at the end of November when me and CherryT went to Birmingham for a few days to finally go to a concert we booked back in early 2020 that kept getting delayed!

Mid-month I also quickly doodled up my OC a couple times.

Above: the moment I finished an 8-week long non-stop project on a to do list!

December:

What a Waste ended up taking longer than I anticipated at around seven or eight weeks total, most likely because it’s quite unlike anything I have done before. After what felt like roughly nine months of almost non-stop animating the last half-month of the year was spent last-minute Christmas shopping and finally chilling out a bit, including going to a local video games expo for the weekend! The last piece of art I did this year was for the Newgrounds Secret Santa.

That was an intense year! I can’t wait till you get to see the stuff that’s not out there yet and in terms of 2023 I do already have a couple things queued up for January so we’ll see how it goes I guess!

Previous years: 2021 - 2020 - 2019 - 2018 - 2017 - 2016

[sofarsofastmp3]

this month i declared love for an author and then immediately discovered a major problem. whoops.

helloooo. i’d been writing all of these at once at the end of the month and for september i decided to attempt some level of organization by writing my comments right after finishing the book! this did make for longer “reviews” but. we move. 

prodigal summer by barbara kingsolver

barbara!!!! what the hell, girl!! i’ve owned prodigal summer for over two years and i regret all the time that we’ve occupied the same space without becoming acquainted. i inhaled 90% of this book over the course of a 12 hour travel day and the next afternoon; i am obsessed with it. there are three main story threads that become more clearly entwined as they each unfold. i do have a favorite, but it took the entire novel to decide. since finishing, i’ve fallen in love with the incredibly vague blurbs for this book on its goodreads page and on the back of my paperback copy. all it gives you going in is that this is a story about connection and the environment of southern appalachia. all the author pull quotes are calling it sexy and lush. and yeah, it’s all of the above!! kingsolver puts her biology degree to work in this thing. even when i had no real idea where this book was going, i had already fallen in love with the writing and setting. it’s also incredibly tender in a way that sneaks up on you. i just love it. my one single qualm is that sometimes the women’s internal monologues lean a little on the gender essentialist side, but i see what kingsolver is doing with it and also it was 2000. i have one of her short story collections on my shelf already (another one that’s been in my orbit for over a year. barbara i’m so sorry for ignoring you.) and i’m feeling drawn to demon copperhead which won her the pulitzer last year. 

ne’er duke well by alexandra vasti

another one for the book fest spreadsheet <3 i like vasti. back in early 2023, i read her self published novellas that you get for free when you sign up for her newsletter, and i was jazzed when i found out she was getting traditionally published! ne’er duke well has the things i liked about the novellas (lovable, funny characters with tangible feelings and inner worlds), but it’s also missing something. several scenes, actually. at multiple points in this book, a new chapter starts days or weeks ahead! normally i wouldn’t mind but it felt like she was glossing over kind of important stretches of time. an entire wedding is skipped!! this combined with a severely cheesy conclusion to both main conflicts left me wanting a bit more. i’m hoping her next one is paced a bit better to have that depth. 

a halifax holiday by alexandra vasti (halifax hellions #4)

it’s cute! a 40ish page holiday epilogue for a trilogy of novellas. not much to say, and honestly i read the novellas so long ago i kept forgetting which of the twin sisters was which and who they married.  

i am made of death by kelly andrew

third time was the charm with me actually reading kelly andrew arcs before their pub date lol. i got physical arcs of both the whispering dark and your blood, my bones but read both books a couple months after their releases. i put in a netgalley request for this one last week; it doesn’t come out until march. it’s 2:30 am and i just finished it. i haven’t been sleeping great recently. but also this book was just really engaging! i’ll have to write a real review at some point so the arc people don’t get mad, but for here in my little ramble diary i’ll just say i really like andrew. your blood, my bones is still my favorite, but i think she’s continuing to evolve and create such a fun, twisty voice. i like how gross these last two books have gotten, and i think her characters’ sharpness feels more honest than a lot of ya protagonists i’ve read. this one in particular felt that way. i love vivienne; she is so real and dear to me, and hearing how andrew kind of channeled some of her younger self’s feelings about being disabled into this character was super interesting. you can really see her tap into that with vivienne, who is mute. some of the finer details of her world building and lore could use some work, but her characters are really the main focus and are also one of her strongest points. her imagery goes crazy. that’s the best part by far. 

her wanton wager (mayhem in mayfair #2) by grace callaway

this is my second grace callaway and i think i have to accept that for all people rave about her online, she’s not for me. both her male and female characters kind of run together in the same, boring (to me) framework. even when i can see clear cameos of couples from her other works in the book! there’s only so many times i can hear about an ultra masculine scoundrel with a tragic past and secret heart of gold. especially when it’s done so similarly every time

antigonick (sophocles) translated by anne carson

brief, yet impactful. obviously antigone and polynices are the focus here but ismene and antigone’s exchange of “i want to row the boat with you” “save yourself” “i’ll be so lonely” is so. i have 3 siblings. you understand.  i’m excited to read more anne carson, this is the first full work of hers i’ve read and i liked it a lot. great rhythm and it’s such a funny translation/interpretation but also contains these truly walloping lines. i think it’s always interesting getting the full context of tumblr’s poetry darlings. “but who can grow me a new brother” has circulated thousands upon thousands of times clipped by itself, pasted into a scrapbook web weave, and edited onto succession stills. you can feel the force of it in all of those places, but none like in here. also, i’m a little obsessed with thinking about translation or adaptation as the john ashbery “trying to peel off the wallpaper in my room, not out of animosity but because it seemed there must be be something fascinating behind [it]” 

the earl on the train by kerrigan byrne (victorian rebels #6.5) 

i’m a sucker for a stupid pun. was scrolling hoopla unable to sleep and this was only 170 pages! had a blast, kind of wish this was a full length novel, and now i really want to read more of this series/byrne in general. i’ve read in-series novellas from people before where it was just full of name and lore drops that made it impossible to enjoy if you haven’t read every book in the series (tessa dare i love you your spindle cove novellas are incomprehensible), but this totally stands alone while making me incredibly intrigued by the installment these two characters hail from. okay WAIT. the installment in question is called “the duke with the dragon tattoo.” using two goofy puns on popular mystery novels to link your stories? ms byrne i Love you. 

a dark and drowning tide by allison saft

i have been SO anticipating saft’s adult debut and i liked it so! much! it honestly doesn’t feel too distant from her ya, it has the same kind of close feel and she still utilizes highly political plot points, but you can sense that she wanted to up the ante a bit. this is an expedition gone wrong, a murder mystery, a political conspiracy, and a lesbian romance. there’s a lot going on!! but it’s all contained well. a worse author would have dragged this into at least another book. i know her next book is ya but i’m kind of hoping for a continued venture into adult fantasy. again, i’m selfish! 

the highwayman by kerrigan byrne (victorian rebels 1)

prefacing this with the fact that i am pms-ing. severely. but i spent like a third of this book on the verge of tears my GOD. i have ~qualms~ with the way some of blackwell’s baggage is handled and there’s a kind of comically evil third act villain that doesn’t feel necessary given how much conflict this book already grapples with lmao BUT!! i read this in one sitting and i was so invested

the hunter by kerrigan byrne (victorian rebels 2) 

incredibly weird stereotypes of like four different cultures in the first 30% ish of this book that are then never mentioned again. it was so bizarre, even with its eventual absence, i still kept thinking back on it as i was reading. it was like in an effort to diversify her story, byrne overcorrected into two dimensional nonsense. i have no clue if i’m going to keep going in this series, but even if i do eventually, i need a break from it. just weird.

[themacpsych]

Lounging about in Malaysia

Given I was worried how I was going to spend my layover here in Kuala Lumpur Airport, I’m amazed how quickly the time has gone by.

Once I was clear on what terminal I needed to be in (the same one I landed in - yay!), I headed to the Malaysian Airlines lounge and did some work admin (primarily, sorting out my work expenses for this month), cleared by work email inbox, and enjoyed some nice champagne and cheese. I’m two days ahead of my self-imposed deadline on the expenses, which is always nice.

I also pulled together a deck of slides for a webinar I’m facilitating on Thursday. I’ve been meditating and reflecting on the topic for weeks, and once I sat down and opened my laptop, it all sort of spilled out of my brain and onto the screen. In the nicest possible way.

I then took advantage of the pristine facilities and had a rather lovely shower. It felt great to freshen up, especially after spending seven hours on a plan from Tokyo. As I was preparing to leave the lounge to go exploring, I spotted a doorway I’d somehow missed on the way into the lounge. It was an entire sit-down restaurant!

Never one to pass up a free meal, I was escorted to a table and offered a menu. I skipped starters and desert and opted for the mushroom risotto. It was delicious. Completely superfluous to requirements, but delicious all the same.

So now I have just a couple of hours left before I’ll be in the sky again. This time for a 15 hour flight to London. I’m hoping for smooth skies and several hours of sleep. Between now and then, I’ll be downloading shows onto my iPad Mini, sampling more of this delicious champagne (before Sober March starts), and just being super grateful for the opportunity to take a holiday like this. I can imagine time might have crawled without access to this lounge.

[ebitchwriting]

Dragged Into The Blood

Story Summary: Never staying in one place for long, Lea was used to impermanence, chaos, and having to drop everything at the drop of a hat. Lea never expected that she would be kidnapped and wake up in a rusted, decrepit prison cell because of a madman's delusional belief in eugenics and cleansing the Earth of imperfection. By herself, with only the clothing on her back, she will have to rely on luck and logic to escape before she's killed or worse. Warnings: This chapter has no trigger warnings, a considerably more chiller chapter than the last one.

Welcome back, dear hearts! So in this chapter, Lea is offered the chance to return to society and contemplate the future. Also, I decided against my original plan of adding more chapters before the start of the ReRev2 arc, so chapter 13 is when we're going to enter that arc! Enjoy the chapter!

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17.

Chapter 11: Contemplation

Lea’s fiery red eyes scoured the flimsy pages before her, carefully reading every word before flipping to the next. She hissed a few curse words under her breath before flipping the page back, grabbing the notebook and pen beside her pillow, and furiously scribbling as her eyes scoured the page yet again. Page after page, she carefully analyzed and wrote down the most vital information until she reached the end of the stapled booklet. Then, haphazardly, she tossed it to her left in a pile of other stapled booklets and grabbed the next from her right. 

It had been another two months since she learned more about her origin from her family. One month since Dr. Chambers procured a viable treatment to suppress the virus lurking in Lea’s veins. Almost four months total spent in the confines of B.S.A.A., always under the watchful eye of B.S.A.A.’s personnel, never alone, yet feeling more isolated than ever before. During that time, thanks to Chris and Jill, Lea had gotten used to controlling her newfound abilities despite her clumsiness.

Lea also concluded that her desire to attend highschool, to try her best to make at least one friend and to graduate was a dream she had to let go of. If Excella, and perhaps Kenneth, had managed to discover her through public school, then others would, too. Her best bet was to study for the G.E.D. test, take it under another new name, and—

The frazzled teen froze, her eyes darting around the ground aimlessly, then pushed the pamphlet in front of her away, focusing entirely on the notebook. 

‘... What the fuck am I going to do after I get that...? College will absolutely be just as much of a trace as high school was... But it isn’t like any good paying and low-injury rate jobs out there take in someone without a Bachelor’s...’ Lea skipped several pages ahead in the notebook and started scribbling in an uneven table. The left column was jobs with a college degree, and the right was jobs without. On the bottom of the page, Lea hastily scrawled military and mercenary, circled it, and crossed it out. 

‘... No fucking way am I going anywhere near the combat shit... I want to have control over my life... thank you very much...’ In addition, she wrote down the doctor and lawyer at the bottom of the page, circling it and crossing it out. 

‘... I’m not going to college for eight years...’ 

For a long moment, she sat there staring at the blank, messily drawn graph with absolutely zero idea of what to put down in either column. Then, hesitantly, she scribbled down receptionist with several question marks in the right column. A minute later, Lea scribbled down journalist in the left column, then assistant into the right column. However, none of those options inspired confidence.  

‘... I’d honestly be really pissed off if I had to get a Bachelor’s degree to be an assistant to a random office... or a nobody receptionist...’ Unhelpfully, Lea’s mind promptly went blank once again. She was left staring at the pitifully empty graph with furrowed brows and a grimace. 

Thankfully, a knock broke the tension, distracting the young blonde from her staring. One of Lea’s hands drifted to the noise-canceling headphones, and she couldn’t help her mouth twitching into a small smile. 

‘... Looks like Rebecca’s hypothesis was right... It’s almost like I’m back to my normal hearing...’ Lea turned back, expectantly looking at the door with a raised brow. 

The lock beeped, not destroying Lea’s precious eardrums this time, and through the crack of the door, a now short-haired Jill popped her head in. A few seconds later, a now freshly shaven Chris popped his head just above Jill’s. Lea couldn’t help but laugh at the sight. 

“Come in, dorks.” Lea teased, still holding that slight smile, feeling lighter. Then, with a shared giggle, the two backed their heads out, opened the door, and stepped fully inside. Immediately, they balked at the sight of the barely organized mess of papers strewn about the bed and the floor. 

“Rebecca was not lying when she said it looked like a tornado came through here,” Jill remarked, stepping around the random piles. “Brings back memories, doesn’t it?” Jill asked, looking straight at the bulky main with a teasing glint in her eyes. Chris raised a hand to his chest, making a playful affronted noise and taking a dramatic step back. 

“Why I never! How could you make such an accusation! Slander! Lies!” Chris said in a melodramatic tone while theatrically waving his hands around, earning a tiny laugh from the teen. Jill simply crossed her arms, smirked, and sent a knowing raised eyebrow in his direction. Then, just as dramatically, the muscled man deflated. “Alright, it’s true, but to be fair I knew where everything was!”

“Until you didn’t.”

“Until someone decided to mess around with my desk.”

“You mean organizing so you didn’t get your ass reamed again?”

“Messing with my stuff!” Lea couldn’t help but laugh at the childish back and forth. 

“There’s a method to the madness.” Lea piped up, the slight smile growing wider. 

“Thank you,” Chris stepped in closer, holding a fist to Lea. Lea tentatively raised her fist and, as gently as she could, tapped his knuckles against her, still wary of her ability for delicate actions. To her relief, Chris said nothing about her nervous actions and simply nodded at her, returning to smirking at Jill as if he had won something. 

“So, what are ya doing here?” Lea asked, eyes darting back and forth between the two. Jill and Chris shared a look, one that Lea hoped was a good look. Chris took the stool to sit in, looking comically large in comparison. Meanwhile, Jill propped herself up on the desk, sitting cross-legged. 

“So, we’re not supposed to tell you yet, but we know how... stir crazy you’ve been waiting for updates,” Chris said as he sent her a warm smile, leaning forward so his elbows rested against his knees. Lea simply hummed at him to get him to continue, curious and cautiously hopeful. “Rebecca finalized the treatment, and I got word from my superior that you’re approved for the Witness Protection Program. You have a real shot at having a normal life.” Chris’s eyes were practically twinkling with excitement as his smile widened, looking at the young girl with an expectant look. 

Lea simply stared at him disbelievingly with wide eyes. Her eyes glanced at Jill, who shared the same dazzling, warm smile and excited look in her eyes. Lea opened her mouth to say something, but no noise came out. Four months. She’s been in here for four months, largely being treated with fear aside from a handful of people. Four months of experimentation, of boredom, of finding any and all ways to distract herself. And finally, a chance of freedom had arrived. Lea imagined this moment at night when she didn’t want to deal with the nightmares and had nothing better to do. She imagined she would be filled with elation, joy, and wonderment about what to do with her future handed back to her. Yet, the most Lea could feel at that moment was a cold, numb shock. 

“... I wasn’t expecting it to come so soon.” Lea finally managed to mutter after a very long moment. Long enough that the enthusiastic grins and crinkled looks soured and morphed into one of concern. Long enough that she couldn’t bear it anymore, tearing her gaze away from her rescuers. “... But that’s great! I guess I’m just shocked.” Lea managed to add, ending the statement with a strangled giggle nervously. She brought a hand to the back of her scalp, scratching it absentmindedly. Jill chuckled, making Lea snap her gaze back to the woman. 

“I get that, trust me. After being in this fight for what, 12 years now, I get that feeling.” Jill’s words were very emphatic at how much she understood the feeling of shock and disbelief about going back to society. Lea felt the prickle of tears starting to build up, so she opted not to respond and just to nod, clinging onto what little pride she had left. “So, any idea what you’ll do once you’re back home?” Jill not so subtly tried to direct Lea’s thoughts with a gentle smile. Lea laughed again, but it held a bitter edge this time. 

“Actually, yeah, I was just in the middle of trying to figure that out. I’m not gonna bother with highschool, so I’m just gonna take the G.E.D. instead. After that, well,” Lea simply handed Chris the graph on which she had made very little progress. The burly man grabbed it and ran his eyes over it. He let out a surprised scoff as his eyes reached the bottom. 

“I’m glad you don’t want to be a merc, but no interest in fighting against bioterrorism? None?” Lea narrowed her eyes at Chris, the seeds of suspicion growing at the true intentions of her rescuers. 

“Why do you ask?” Lea practically hissed out, crossing her arms and raising an eyebrow at the pair. Chris sighed, dropping his gaze and tapping his fingers against his knees. 

“I ain’t gonna lie to you, kid. You’re intelligent, strong, and skilled. With the proper training, you could do some real good at B.S.A.A.” She knew Chris meant well by the sentiment, but that didn’t stop the growing resentment that he only saw a soldier to be recruited after everything they went through. Lea scoffed and turned her head to the side. “Wesker may be dead, but the threat of bioterrorism still remains.” Chris added, trying to catch Lea’s gaze again, but she ignored him. Lea turned her attention to Jill, who moved from her position and strode across the room to sit beside the teen, giving her a soft, somber look. 

“Lea, it’s not like that. We’ve been in this fight for twelve years. But, for people like us,” Jill made a back-and-forth motion with her hand, “it’s nearly impossible for us to put what we’ve experienced behind us. But the way we did survive this was by fighting against bioterrorism. Chris and me? We fight on the field. Rebecca? She finds vaccines and treatments to protect the public and people like you. Chris’s sister helps run a non-profit organization to help those displaced by bioterrorism.” Jill moved her hand but hesitated. Lea gave her a slight nod, and Jill finally lowered her hand to caress Lea’s shoulder comfortingly. 

“There are so many ways to help yourself and others. You would be great with us here, but it isn’t easy, and I get that you don’t want to be anywhere near combat.” Chris sighed, standing up and sitting on the other side, taking what little room was left on the tiny cot. Despite how claustrophobic it made her feel, she felt herself slowly melting under the comforting strokes of Jill’s hands. “So, I can put in a good word with my sister and get you a job at TerraSave. That way, you can stay away from guns and violence and help displaced families and fundraisers.” 

“It doesn’t have to be forever either,” Jill said. “Contrary to what most people say, you don’t need to know every step of your life and what you’re gonna do. Some people go to college, some don’t. Some people decide the career they’ve been in for decades isn’t for them and start all over. Some people decide just to do odd jobs and travel, but guessing that’s not for you.” Lea laughed in agreement at that statement. 

“There’s no pressure,” Chris clapped a hand to join Jill’s in comforting Lea, his fingertips brushing against Jill’s. “Just, consider it.” 

Lea could feel the tears prickling her eyes again, but it wasn’t anguish, fear, or anger this time. This time, it was hope. She had forgotten what genuine hope for the future felt like. Shakily, Lea gave them both a wider grin and a nod, not quite wanting to speak just yet. Not so surprisingly, the burly man pulled her into a bone-crushing hug. He also hauled in Jill, turning it into a group hug, making the older woman giggle at his antics. Lea let out an amused huff and closed her eyes, allowing herself to relax fully in their arms. After a long moment, the pair detangled themselves from the group hug, standing up and giving Lea some breathing room. 

“We have to go, but Rebecca should be here later today to go over the treatment plan. See ya!” Jill said with a comforting smile. Lea nodded again, waving them goodbye as they approached the door. As delicately as she could, she brushed her fingers against the noise-canceling headphones as they left. She was infinitely grateful that the device had given her a respite from the unbearable constant auditory sensory overloads.

Lea stood from the cot, walking over to the desk where Chris had left the notepad with the hastily drawn graph. Grabbing it, she returned to the bed and sat cross-legged. Then, without a second thought, she grabbed the nearby pen, scribbling on the side research TerraSave before flipping the pages back to her notes.

[pathparazzi]

Thoughts re: Job Hunting

Today, I received a rejection email from a prospective employer. What surprised me was that neither the chairman, whom I'd met several times, nor the AP director (APD) who would have been my immediate boss had reached out for follow-up before this email made its way to my inbox. All I got was a formulaic letter from HR telling me that they were considering other candidates.

I am at the end of my job hunt so I feel more at liberty to discuss my thoughts on this particular interview, several aspects of which have been anonymized. And before I go on, I'm going to go back in time to the beginning to give some context.

When I applied, I had not expected an interview from this institution for a couple of reasons:

First, they wanted someone with job experience. As I've seen on several academic job postings, they read something like "entry-level position, 5-10 years experience required", and this posting was essentially no different. Also, we are in a critical pathology shortage that will likely last for years to come and the application pool is largely fresh grads so...

Second, I learned not to expect anything from online job applications because in spite of the "booming job market" for pathologists and the wide net I'd cast, I barely heard back from anyone.

For instance, I applied for a job near the place I trained for residency, as they were in a hiring frenzy and I wanted to be close to the city. I submitted my application online and emailed their chair directly to express my interest in the position. Months passed, I heard nothing, and then the job postings vanished. A separate job posting close to family and friends took three months for a response, and this was after several attempts on my part, as well as my colleagues, to reach out. It has not been an easy journey by any means, so I'm grateful to be near the end of it all.

So, back to this job listing. I was pleasantly surprised to learn my director (whom I semi-jokingly call God) had spoken to the APD there who was a former colleague of his. God had given me a glowing recommendation, as had my previous director, so this APD opted to interview me to gauge compatibility and interest.

We met later over Zoom. The conversation was somewhat stilted - he was interviewing me while covering service - and our conversation ended after he got called away during a natural lull. While I had some reservations, I suppressed them mainly because he was just one person in what could potentially be a whole chain of people I could call my colleagues.

Next up was the chairman. He was loquacious and boastful of his department, the hospital system, and the city as well. One thing he liked to harp on was that they were flush with money and that they would not leave me wanting for anything. He talked up the specialties I'd be interested in and the fact that this city was great for single people (something he technically shouldn't have inquired about but I have no issue answering). I figured that this would be quite an opportunity and a whole new world if this all worked out.

Over the next few weeks, multiple emails were exchanged. They booked me a flight and a stay at a hotel. I won't go into the details of everything that transpired in between, so I'll skip ahead to the interview.

I was very impressed by how meticulously all of these logistics had been planned. There was a driver awaiting me at the airport, and the driving service had my number on hand. I was picked up, offered water, and driven to the hotel, which was much nicer than I anticipated. Because my flight arrived relatively late into the night, I quickly unpacked and went to bed.

The itinerary was spread out over 2 days and it was set up in such a way that I would meet with the chairman 3 separate times but nowhere was it on the schedule that I would meet with the APD at any point. (I would later find out he was out of town on scholarly business.) It only included attendings from one of the specialties I would be signing out.

Day one. I was picked up and driven to the hospital. I did not realize how big and sprawling this campus was until I arrived. Several hospitals existed under one academic umbrella over several city blocks and throughout my interview, I would be transported to several different locations as well as entirely different hospitals.

I had a very long first meeting with the chairman. Again, he was a talker, and I was mildly wishing that I could just move on to the other interviews.

The interviewers/my potential colleagues at this first hospital were...alright. I couldn't help but notice that something seemed off during our interactions, and I got the sense that I wouldn't particularly get along with them past a professional standpoint. They seemed somewhat overworked and rigid. There seemed to be no space for chit-chat, only shop talk. And I did not notice any camaraderie.

For the service I would be covering, I learned that they had 3 pathologists for what seemed to be an obstructively busy workload, and no one seemed happy with this arrangement. They all told me that it was "busy but doable" more or less and that I would have support.

Midday, I gave my job talk which I thought went rather well. Of course, the chairman seemed very excited at the topic and even decided to invite someone who specialized in that field to attend.

I had more interviews later on, some of which felt particularly irrelevant to my field, and then I was dropped off at the hotel to rest and await dinner with the chairman.

He picked me up in his car and he took me out to a somewhat upscale restaurant that he frequented, to the point that the waitstaff recognized him. Two others joined us, one of whom would be a potential colleague as well, and the four of us had a good time for the most part.

However great dinner was, I felt uncomfortable with the chairman bringing up politics and my home country, and then passing summary judgment on it as if he knew best. If you couldn't already tell, he's an older white man, and he felt that he knew my home country better than I did. I tried to explain the reality of it, but he did not seem to care. It lent a brief awkwardness to the conversation, and then I changed the topic as smoothly as I could.

Afterwards, I was dropped off at the hotel and then I went to bed.

Day two. I gave a slide session with the residents. Only 3 out of 29 showed up with a bunch joining virtually (and silently). I was not particularly impressed with them except for one who nailed these differentials better than the senior who was present.

The rest of the day, I interviewed the other half of the colleagues in my specialty, and they practiced at a separate hospital. The moment I arrived, I could tell that they were happier, and that they liked each other. Their doors were open, and two of them were just casually chatting away until I walked in.

I had a blast with these people, whom I sadly wouldn't even get to work with if I got the job, and what I found interesting was that they all preferred to be at this hospital, not the main academic building where I'd interviewed yesterday. Their workflow seemed flexible and there was backup, unlike the other hospital.

After lunch, I ended up meeting with the special guest the chairman had invited to my job talk. We met in his office, and I didn't expect for him to insult me or the group I'd worked with. I didn't quite know what to say and he didn't seem to want to hear it either, just that he had better stuff than we did and that it was more expensive. It’s like the rich kid shaming the poor kid for wearing Gap clothes while he’s wearing Armani. Cool story, brah, you missed the entire point of the talk.

My last meeting of the day was with the chairman and my goodness, the guy could talk. He left the ball in my court, telling me that if I wanted to continue pursuing this job, then he would generate an offer letter and the like, so on and so forth. I let him know that I still had interviews and that I would reach out after everything was done so as to not waste his time. He seemed vaguely disappointed with that answer and wanted me to give him an answer sooner rather than later.

Before long, I was whisked away to the airport and I didn't even get a chance to change out of my suit.

// The "Postmortem" //

So, I was a little surprised to find such an impersonal rejection letter. I expected someone to reach out in the time that followed to gauge interest, and there was nothing. I didn't hear from the chair or the APD in the weeks that followed. Granted, I also could have reached out but I was interviewing elsewhere and busy being on service and he knew that.

I really don't know what their team's impression of me was, but I thought it was generally positive. My impression, however, was littered with red flags  and these are the ones I can think of off the top of my head. :

One of the wonderfully competent admin I was with told me that only a few people had applied for this position and no one seemed to want it

The chairman. He himself was a giant red flag...

I learned that he didn't actually know what my job workflow would be like

The politics issue at dinner and the fact he'd asked if I were single or married more than once

He also insulted my talk somewhat

The constant mention of having money...but the hospital not seeming to know how to use it well

Boasting so much to the point he actually lied to me about certain facts

The lack of awareness that pathology as a whole is facing such a terrible predicament

The only people I didn't really vibe with were the people I would be working constantly with, and they seemed overworked and unhappy

The lack of contact and follow-up with the APD

It seemed that several attendings I talked to had to give something up in order to advance in their careers

The complete and utter lack of masking inside the hospital seemed alarming

Being insulted by a guy who didn't understand what my talk was about

As for the rejection, a friend suggested that perhaps they got their top pick (which seems unlikely given how few people applied), or that someone else answered sooner. Either way, I hope whoever they hired will be happy there.

[uncpanda]

Man In the Mirror

Prompt: Man in the Mirror 

Pairing: Derek Morgan x Fem!Reader 

Requested by: @doctorsteeb

It’s the middle of the night when you hear the door open and close, followed by your husband’s large boots scuffing against the floor. You debate staying in bed and waiting, or just running to him. It takes you three seconds to decide on the latter. 

You toss the covers to the side, and take the steps two at a time. And because Derek knows you, he’s waiting at the bottom step. He looks exhausted, but there’s still so much love in his eyes. He opens his arms, and you just skip the bottom three steps, leaping into his arms. He catches you; still strong. Always strong. He crushes you to him, and spins you in a circle, before pressing a kiss to the side of your head. 

“There’s my Sweet Girl.” 

You tighten your hold on him, as he sets you down. Your toes graze against the wood floors, but you don’t let go of each other for several minutes. When you feel good, you give him a squeeze and pull back. You keep your hands on his chest though, “You caught him.” 

He shakes his head, “We barely did anything. The FBI on the other hand. These profiler guys came in, and it . . . it took them days. Days to catch a killer we’ve been hunting for six months.” 

You can tell this is going to be a story. You push him towards the kitchen, and the two of you start moving around the kitchen, heating up the leftovers you had saved him from dinner. Once everything is good to go, you settle at the kitchen table. He takes a bite, and closes his eyes in bliss. Personally, you don’t think your cooking is that great, but Derek always acts like it’s the best thing he’s ever tasted. 

You nudge his foot to start his story when he’s halfway done, “These guys, the Behavioral Analysis Unit, come in, and just by looking at the crime scene and based on statistics narrowed down the guys sex, ethnicity, and age. And they were able to predict his movements. It was amazing.” 

He’s holding something back. You can always tell when he’s doing that. You’ve been best friends since childhood, you had held his hand at his father’s funeral and the two of you hadn’t let go for nearly twenty-four hours. You’d been high school and college sweethearts, and you’d gotten married a month out of college. You knew Derek Morgan better than you knew yourself. 

You lean your arms against the table, and wait. “What’s that look?” 

“What look?” 

“That one, on your face.” 

“My face is my face Derek.” 

His eyes narrow, and he takes another bite of food, before giving in, “I might have made some observations that impressed them.” 

“Annnd?” 

“They offered me a job pending my performance at the FBI academy.” 

Your jaw drops, “That’s amazing. You have to do it!” 

He laughs, “You have lost your mind.” 

“How?” 

“I can’t just go off and become a federal agent.” 

“Why not?” 

“Well, for one we’re married.” 

You shrug, “So. I’d go with you.” 

“You have a job.” 

You smile sweetly, “True. A job that I’m so good at, that I can get a new one anywhere. Being in Tech does that. Not to brag or anything.” 

He smiles, “Go ahead and brag. That job provided for us until I made team lead in Swat. We also have kids. Two little girls. They have lives here.” 

“They’re three and one Derek. As long as you and I are there, they’re not going to care.” 

“Fine. I didn’t want to pull this one, but our mothers.” 

You freeze at that. Because your husband has a point. Your mothers lived for their granddaughters. “Simple, when we move, we also change our names.” 

He leans back in his chair, all chase of joking gone, but his usual smile is still there, “Sweetheart. . .” 

“Derek. . . do you remember when we were in high school?” 

“What specifically?” 

“It was after school one day, career day, and we had just heard from the Chicago police department. And you turned to me, as we were going home and said, I’m going to join. I’m going to be like Pops. I’m going to make a difference. Because you dad always said . . .” 

“When you want to  make a change, you have to start with the man you see in the mirror. It is so not fair that you can parrot back every word I ever said.” 

“You do the same with me. If you want this Derek, we’ll do it. We’ll make it work.” 

“It means time away from you and the girls. It means putting those plans we had for another baby on hold.” 

“Your plans. I wanted to wait longer anyway.” 

You both laugh. “I love you something fierce Sweet Girl.” 

You move to him, and slide onto his lap, and kiss him, “I love you too Derek Morgan.” 

[archived-kin]

late with lucifer

note from kin: i just realised that the title sounds like a talk show ffs

anyway get ready to get SAPPY (and also get ready for a low-key out of character lucifer)

fandom: obey me!

character(s): gn! reader, lucifer, satan, beelzebub, belphie

pairing(s): lucifer/reader

warning(s): brief existential dread right at the end but i think it’s relatively light

genre: fluff all the way (with maybe a teensy bit of angst???? i accidentally got kinda deep towards the end)

Deciding to commit yourself to a bona fide workaholic music nerd who would sooner chop his own hand off than skip a single working day for potentially the rest of eternity has been... a choice and a half, to say the least. Yes, he’s a sweetheart most of the time, and you love him more than possibly any being in the known universe (though jury’s still out on cats and the dragon you met a couple of months ago who brings you giant mouthfuls of leaves every weekend), but you’d be lying if he didn’t have qualities that make you want to drop kick some sense into him sometimes. And one of those qualities happens to be his absolute refusal to just take a damn break.

“Just one more hour,” He keeps telling you whenever you ask him if he’s finally finished with his mountain load of paperwork. “One more hour, and then we can spend some time together.”

It has been five hours since Lucifer went to his study to ‘get a bit of work done’. Five hours of attempting to finish the mountain of books Satan has recommended you in the corner of the library, probably irritating the poor guy to no end with your constant restless shifting. You're surprised that he hasn’t up and left to go read in his room in peace - then again, it’d be hypocritical of him to tell you off for moving about. You’d think a bookworm like him would be so absorbed by his beloved books that he wouldn’t be able to move at all, but he fidgets about so much when he’s reading that you’re surprised he hasn’t somehow worn a hole through his favourite armchair yet. At any rate, you’re pretty sure you can see him getting ready to flip himself upside down for the seventh time this evening in the corner of your eye.

You try once again to focus on the lucrative business deal happening in Chapter 52 for the fourth time in the last ten minutes, but your brain just doesn’t seem to be listening to you right now; no matter how hard you try to register what’s going on, the words just don’t want to be processed. Finally, checking the clock on the wall for what feels like the hundredth time this evening, you decide that you might as well go bother your busy bee upstairs. It’s been at least a fortnight since you’ve been able to spend a full evening or night with him, and, if you’re honest, it’s beginning to get a little on your nerves.

Satan barely looks up from his book as you hop to your feet and begin making your way out, though he does lift a hand to wave a brief goodbye. Contrary to your prediction, he has not flipped himself upside down, but is now sitting the wrong way around on his armchair instead, facing the seat’s back, with his book carefully balanced on its head. Unconventional, but you’ll give him credit for the creativity.

The House of Lamentation is oddly quiet for a Friday night, but you’d guess that’s because Asmo and Mammon, the two loudest members of the house, have taken it upon themselves to celebrate the arrival of the weekend by going out for the night and probably blowing their savings in the process. Well, Asmo will be blowing his savings - Mammon will most likely find a way to put his spendings on one of his other brother’s tabs, or worse, yours. Then again, you don’t buy things often, so you suppose you can spare a bit of cash. (Knowing Mammon, though, he’ll probably buy enough to put you in debt for the rest of your life.)

On your way through the corridor, you’re struck by a sudden idea. Lucifer’s been shut in his study ever since he got home from the R.A.D., which means he most likely won't have eaten anything. At any rate, you know for a fact he wasn’t there for dinner with everyone else, which means you now have a much better excuse for going to see him other than just wanting to. Lucifer may be a stubborn demon, but he's never been able to resist a mug of tea and some biscuits on long nights when it's you offering them.

Beel is rustling about in the snack cupboard when you slip into the kitchen - no surprises there, but it is a little odd that he’s going for the lighter foods rather than something more filling. You'd comment on why he's down here so late into the night - he should really be in bed - but then again, it's Beel. He'd listen to his stomach over his brain any day of the week.

“Oh, hey,” He greets as he retreats from the cupboard with an armful of what look like several cookie boxes stacked on top of each other. “Did you get hungry as well?”

You shake your head and pull two mugs out of the crockery cabinet. “Nope. Just thought I’d bring Lucifer some tea and biscuits, you know?”

“He’s been in his office for ages,” Beel agrees with an earnest nod. He glances down at the heap of cookies in his arms, then pauses. “Ah… here.”

You look up as you fill the kettle with water to see him holding one of the boxes in his arms out to you.  “...what’s this for?”

“There aren’t any biscuits left in the cupboard,” He says by way of explanation, shaking the box he’s offering to indicate that you should take it. “So you can have these.”

“Aw, you don’t have to do that, Beel!” You gently push the box back towards him and give his arm a fond pat. “I’ll just bring him something else. Go ahead and eat the cookies, okay?”

On any other occasion, Beel would most likely have accepted your offer without hesitation (the day that Beel rejects food will probably never come, but you have a sneaking suspicion that a black hole would rip this reality apart if it does), but it must have been a really good day for him in terms of being fed, because he actually continues to try to give you the box. You’re tempted to coo at the big softie’s uncharacteristic generosity, but you’re not particularly sure how that would go over with him. If being in a relationship with Mr Pridey McPrideface upstairs has taught you anything, it’s that you can never take a reaction for granted.

“No, you have it,” Beel insists, shifting so that he doesn’t drop the rest of his biscuits and stubbornly attempting to shove the box into your hands. “I’ve got plenty right here.”

Your surprise must show on your face, because a moment later he smiles a little sheepishly and adds, “I promise I’m not sick or anything. I’ve still got lots right here. One box won’t make that much of a difference.”

You think it over for a moment as the kettle begins to bubble aggressively behind you. You’re a staunch believer in the fact that one should never deprive Beel of his food, partially because he’s an absolute sweetheart who deserves the food he eats, and partially because something bad could and probably would happen if said food is taken from him. Then again, you’re not taking the food from him, strictly speaking - he’s the one offering it to you. That exempts you, right? At the very least, you have a counter-argument if Belphie tries to persecute you for taking his beloved twin brother’s biscuits. (He probably wouldn’t - the kid adores you - but it’s good to be prepared for possible trials.)

“Ah, fine...” You eventually relent and allow Beel to press the box into your hands. Your compliance is well worth it - the beam on his face and the little pat he gives the box in your hands in satisfaction could probably cure multiple strains of cancer. “You’re the sweetest, you know that?”

He flushes slightly. “I-it’s not that big of a deal…”

“Oh, that’s nonsense,” You tell him firmly over your shoulder, beginning to busy yourself with the teabags and sugar as the kettle hisses to a halt. “Personally, I think I’m going to remember it for the rest of my life.”

You smile to yourself as Beel laughs a little bashfully behind you. “Thanks…”

“No problem, bub,” You reply, pausing in your work to turn around and shoot him a wink. “Hey, chuck me a spoon, would you?”

He nods and does just that - literally. He throws the spoon across the kitchen with such precision that it lands perfectly in your outstretched hand.

You thank him and begin to pour the hot water into Lucifer’s mug. He says that he likes his tea as is, without any bells or whistles or fancy additions, but you’ve been doing this thing for long enough that you know that he actually prefers his tea with a teaspoon of honey and just a splash of lemon. He just refuses to actually say it out loud.

(To be honest, you’re not sure why he does that - does he think tea with honey and lemon is a wimpy drink or something just because you told him it’s often drunk as a remedy for a sore throat in the human world? Knowing the way his mind works, it’s probably something along those lines, but still, it’s a weird conclusion to make.)

You finish preparing Lucifer’s tea quickly - you’ve done this so many times that the movements have become second nature to you at this point - and start making your own. The drinks are finished a minute or so later, and with that you begin setting up your little snack tray.

After a moment’s debate, you decide that today is worth going the extra mile, and start to carefully arrange the biscuits on a pretty plate.  It’s a bit of a hassle to get them into the right formation, but it’ll be well worth it once you get them to their intended receiver - Lucifer always gets the fondest little smile on his face when you bring him his biscuits in patterns, and that man doesn’t smile nearly enough for your taste. Personally, you’d quite like it if he smiled like that all the time, but then again, their rarity is what makes them so precious to you.

Ah - you’re starting to get sappy again. That’s a surefire sign that you haven’t spent enough time with your beloved demon lately. Well, it’s a good thing you’re going to see him now, isn’t it?

The door to Lucifer’s study is still as tightly shut as it was five hours ago when you approach it, but you doubt he’s actually locked it. He’s stopped doing that ever since your visits while he works became a regular thing - he hasn’t said it out loud yet, but you know that it’s his way of showing you that you’re always welcome to come in.

Unlocked as it is, though, you can’t exactly turn the doorknob to let yourself in. You’re a human of many talents, but being able to balance a heavy tray in one hand is not one of them. Lucifer’s tea wouldn’t make into his study - it’d just end up all over the floor.

“Lucifer!” You call softly through the door, mindful that he might be having another one of his work-induced headaches, “I’ve brought you some tea! Open up!”

For a while, the only reply is silence. You know there shouldn’t be any reason for him to be, but you can’t help but worry briefly if Lucifer’s somehow angry at you. Then again, Lucifer’s always liked to play the fashionably late card against you - whether to tease you or to disguise something, you’ll never know.

It turns out that your little worry was unfounded - a few moments later, the door swings open to reveal your favourite demon in all his exhausted-looking glory. Lucifer, who looks like the physical manifestation of work burnout, offers you a tired smile, and stands back to let you enter.

(Here’s a little secret - Lucifer would never tell you this, but he’d perked up like a kid when candy is offered the moment he heard your voice. Still, gotta put up the cool front, right? Even if that means waiting restlessly right next to the door for a minute so that you don’t think he’s over-eager…)

“Thank you.” He murmurs as you bring the tray over to his desk and set it down on one of the few patches of wood that aren’t covered by papers.

You dramatically pretend to swipe sweat from your forehead as if you’ve just finished a ten-mile run and shoot a smile up at him. “All in a day’s work, love.”

He smiles softly and leans in to gently press a kiss to the crown of your head. His pale cheeks have darkened slightly - Lucifer’s always been a softie when it comes to the host of sappy nicknames you’ve given him. One gentle ‘sweetheart’ and he’s melting like an ice cube on a hot day. It’s the sort of thing that people like Mammon and Levi would probably call gross or something, but you honestly couldn’t really care less about that. It’s not harming anyone else and it makes both of you happy, so why shouldn’t you give your lover as many endearing pet names as you can come up with?

“What even is all this?” You ask, peering at the papers scattered across the desk as Lucifer moves over to have a look at the plate of biscuits. You look up just in time to spot the way his eyes light up slightly when he sees the flower you've arranged them into.

“This and that,” He replies vaguely, hovering a single gloved hand uncertainly over the plate, as if trying to decide which biscuit he can take without spoiling the pattern.

“That’s hardly an answer at all,” You complain, plucking three broken quills from among the documents and waving them at him. “Why do you keep using these? A pen would be way more efficient.”

“Official documents should be written in the traditional way,” Lucifer tells you. He takes his time chewing the biscuit he’s finally chosen before continuing. “And Diavolo prefers quill and ink calligraphy to look at.”

“Honestly…” You round the edge of the desk and reach up to brush some powdered sugar from the corner of his mouth. “You don’t have to do absolutely everything according to him.”

Lucifer blinks down at you, lips parting slightly in half awe and half surprise as you smile at him. “Ah…”

His smile widens slightly, and he gazes at you with so much fondness in his eyes that you almost feel a little weak at the knees at the very sight. Lucifer really is a dangerous demon - in more ways than one.

“Well, c-come on, then,” You prompt him abruptly, not wanting him to realise how much his gaze has affected you, because you just know it’s going to give him an ego boost. He pauses in surprise as you start tugging him over to the big armchair beside the fire - the one that the both of you can fit snugly into together. “Let’s have a drink together.”

“I still have papers to fill out—” He attempts to say, but cuts himself off as you shake your head and stubbornly attempt to push him down into the seat. It doesn’t work - Lucifer’s much stronger than you, after all - but he does at least seem to appreciate the effort.

“You’re taking a break whether you like it or not,” You insist, starting to smack lightly at his arms in an bid to get him to listen to you. “Papers can wait. I’m more important.”

That does get a little chuckle out of him, and he finally relents, sitting down with a subtle sigh. “That goes without saying.”

You laugh, suddenly a little more hot around the collar than you’d have liked. “You said it!”

Pausing to retrieve the tray with the tea and biscuits and set it on the table beside the armchair, you quickly join Lucifer in front of the fire, snuggling in at his side and letting out a blissful sigh as you feel him start to draw circles on your arm with his fingers. It’s a sort of habit that he’s developed over the last few months - you’re not sure if he even realises that he’s doing it.

The two of you stay like that in comfortable silence for several minutes. Lucifer’s tense shoulders relax more and more with each passing moment, and soon enough, he’s sprawled out against you, pressing his cheek lovingly into the crown of your head. 

It’s only at moments like this that you get to see this softer version of him, so you always cherish it when it happens. Lucifer may be a slightly passive-aggressive panther who could kill most beings with a swipe of his hand if he sees fit, but, every now and then, he’s a sleepy panther who’ll roll over and let you scratch behind his ears.

Conversation is usually sparse at times like this - the two of you are content enough in each other’s presence that you don’t really need to make small talk. Today, however, Lucifer seems to have something he wants to vent about.

“Belphie has been missing a lot of his homework again lately,” He murmurs. You make a noise of affirmation to indicate that you’re listening, staring at the mugs of tea sitting on the table and pondering whether the two of you will actually manage to part for long enough to drink them.

“Is it anything important?” You ask after a moment, playing absent-mindedly with his left hand. He doesn’t make any move to stop you as you mess about with his slender fingers, so you assume that he doesn’t mind.

“Mostly essays,” He replies, shifting slightly and letting out a quiet sigh. “He’s never liked writing them, but he hasn’t had so many missing before.”

You make a thoughtful sound. Now that you think about it, wasn’t Belphie confiding in you about this the other day?

“It’s just hard to sit down and concentrate sometimes, especially when I’m always so tired,” You remember him saying resignedly over hot chocolate and marshmallows. “It’s not like I don’t want to turn all my homework in on time. Sometimes I just can’t.”

“Well, you shouldn’t force yourself to do them, either,” You’d replied, giving his shoulders a sympathetic pat. “Needs over school of course. If you need to sleep more, then sleep more - if you feel like you can’t write the essay, then don’t write the essay. I’ll talk to Lucifer if he gets mad at you.”

He’d given you a grateful smile then, and turned back to his hot chocolate with a marginally brighter look on his face.

“Belphie’s been having a lot of nightmares lately, so he isn’t getting as much sleep,” You say slowly. “I told him to go ahead and take as many naps as he has to. His needs are more important than schoolwork, after all.”

Lucifer takes a long while to answer, but you don’t mind. It’s only fairly recently that he’s really come to terms with the idea that he doesn’t need to be so hard on his brothers - that it’s okay to put their comfort before whatever image of respectability he’s trying to keep up for Diavolo. The change has been somewhat jarring, according to Satan, but it’s not an unwelcome one, and you’ll gladly take responsibility for it with your constant reminders and careful explanations that Lucifer’s younger brothers have their own problems that he needs to give more leeway for.

“...did he come to talk to you about this?” He asks finally.

“Yeah.” You can’t see his face, but you can practically hear the frown beginning to pinch at his brows. “I know it might not seem like it sometimes, but he does want to make you proud. He’s never wanted to disappoint you.”

He takes a deep breath and releases it with a low hum. “...Belphie has never disappointed me.”

“Seems that he doesn’t realise that sometimes, though,” You sigh, tracing the seams of his glove with your index finger. “He’s a good kid, really.”

Lucifer doesn’t give a verbal reply, but he does hum again. You shift slightly and turn to look up at him; he looks back at you with sleepy, half-lidded crimson eyes. “Take it easy on him, okay?”

He gazes at you in contemplative silence for a long while, blinking slowly like an affectionate cat. Finally, he nods, and you beam proudly, dipping your head to rest on his chest, carefully positioning yourself so that his buttons don’t dig into your cheek.

“I’ll speak to his teachers,” He says quietly. “We should be able to arrange something.”

You smile against the fabric of his waistcoat, taking his hand in yours and giving it a squeeze. “That’s progress. I’m proud of you.”

He doesn’t respond, but you know full well that he loves it when you say that to him. He didn’t in the early days of your relationship, mostly because he’d thought you were patronising him, but now that the two of you are so much more familiar with each other, he’s learnt to recognise that you don’t mince words; you say what you mean, and you mean what you say. Which is exactly why, as the Avatar of Pride, he absolutely loves it when you tell him that you’re proud of him.

Lucifer himself is deep in thought. Struck by a sudden warmth spreading through him, quite independent of the crackling fire before him, he wraps his arms around you, resting his cheek against your head. It’s at moments like these, when you’re so close to him, that he realises just how fragile humans like you are.

It terrifies him sometimes, knowing that the unforgiving march of time means that you cannot be with him forever. One day you will leave, and you will grow old and fade away without him, because, no matter how much he wishes otherwise, you belong to a different realm. You are not a demon, and he is not a human; your worlds can collide briefly, for a single, beautiful moment, but then they will continue to move in their own orbit - and perhaps they will never meet again.

Some would say that, for this reason, he never should have fallen in love in the first place. Relationships like yours have always had a sort of taboo, even in the Devildom, because all beings are not created equal; humans have such short, meaningless lifespans compared to demons and angels, such little power, always depending on leaders and faith in a deity that they cannot prove the existence of. That is what demons tend to think of humanity, and until he’d met you, Lucifer had felt similarly.

But your life has been anything but meaningless, and the power you hold over him and his brothers is far stronger than any amount of potent magic that any being holds. The seven lords of the Devildom would lay waste to all three realms should anything happen to you. 

Lucifer had never thought that he had the ability to love so deeply and so purely, but then again, he’d also never thought that a human like you could exist. It seems that he’s been wrong about a lot of things, and he can only pray that he will be wrong in his prediction of how this will end.

But you’re with him now, curled up against him with a content smile on your face. For now, you’re here, and while you are, Lucifer doesn’t want to waste time on worries.

Your story is yet to reach its ending, and if Lucifer knows anything, it’s that he will stay by your side until then. As long as your worlds are still connected, he will continue to love you, and he will love you long after your worlds separate again.

He’s sure of it.

[littlefireofhestia]

hi! i'm sage and i was going through the "hestia devotee" tag and found a post of yours that said you were open for questions about her. i don't know how old that post is or if you're still taking questions, you can ignore this if you're not, but since i'm here i wanted to talk/ask about something.

i'm a baby witch (like the babiest of babies, almost a new born) and most of my experience is through reading and watching since i don't currently have time or resources to do any practice other than lighting incenses or candles or working with crystals. and i definitely don't know any form of divination, like tarot or pendulum, that would allow me to do actual deity work and properly communicate with them.

the thing is, i've researched deities from multiple pantheons multiple times, mostly out of curiosity, but the moment i came across a prayer to hestia my heart skipped a beat and i immediately felt a kind of comfort. it could have been nothing, but i still researched all i could about her and just. i've never felt this drawn to a deity before, much less felt a pull to actually worship one. but i feel very much that way about her.

i looked up ways to honour her and i'm genuinely shocked at how happy it's been making me. i'm finding joy in domestic activities i used to loathe, like washing the dishes or helping with house cleaning. i tried baking a cake all by myself for the first time and lit an orange candle for her while doing it. it turned out absolutely delicious, i discovered i actually really enjoy baking and even started my own cook notebook with some of my grandma's old recipes. i make a point to always tie my hair back when i'm doing something that makes me think of her or in her honour, like making tea or baking or making dinner for my family or cleaning, because i saw people talking about how she appreciates veiling but i don't know how to do it so i just tie my hair in a bun instead of putting on a scarf. and i used to hate tying my hair, but now i feel very good about it!

i've always struggled with feeling connected to religion and never really understood how that could bring peace to someone, but i haven't felt this grounded or loving towards my family and pets or in peace with myself as much as i have since i started doing things as acts of devotion to hestia.

now, on to the actual problem: i'm scared it's all in my head. i'm worried i'm not enough of a witch to worship a deity yet, since i'm still trying to learn ways of communication and can't directly ask her if she's with me. i'm scared that the little things i'm doing aren't enough and the comfort and faith i feel while doing them are my imagination and not actually her watching over me and appreciating my effort.

anyways, i'm really sorry for dumping these worries on you but i didn't see many hestia related blogs and i really needed to ask someone about this. is what i'm doing enough of a worship right now? do you have any tips on how to worship her better? thank you!

Hi Sage! I don’t know when you sent this ask so I’m sorry if it’s been a while since you sent it and my response is late. When I read this ask for the first time I nearly cried tears of joy. Before anything I do want to say that you’re doing amazing sweetie!

I’m always open to questions about Hestia.

First off, there is no prerequisite to worshipping deities. I am admittedly not a witch and worship the gods exclusively for religious reasons and not for witchcraft. I have not learned many divination methods yet (although I have used the very handy Greek Alphabet Oracle a few times) and my rituals are still relatively basic, mostly not even occurring on an altar. But I have felt Hestia. I have been in her presence. I have received dreams from other deities and signs. None of this is required to happen to believe in or worship the theoi, but I just want to assure you that beyond doing some research to figure out who you want to pray to and how to do prayer and ritual, there are no prerequisites to worship. My first prayer to Hestia was literally me throwing a scarf over my head and talking to her in the dark with a flashlight to represent a flame. No formal structure. Didn’t even know how to correctly hold my hands yet. And still she accepted me.

The vibe you get from Hestia is very much similar to my experience. I’ve been drawn to her for YEARS but didn’t know I could worship her. But she’s always felt like home and comfort and just right for me. I never ever had a reason why she was my favorite deity before becoming pagan. She just was. My connection to Hestia has been a fact for over a decade that I just didn’t know was religious until a year and a half ago. Me wondering if I could worship her is the reason why I started researching Hellenic Polytheism in the first place. She brought me to this faith and I am so thankful to her for that.

You finding joy in domestic activities you used to hate is something I’ve discovered through Hestia too, although it’s still a journey I’m early on due to depression and physical disability and having a lot of work to do on figuring out how to make things accessible for me. I’m excited to go further for and with Hestia.

I understand the thought about it being all in your head. I had those thoughts early in my practice too. Basically, belief is a process. It takes time to switch from whatever religious thought (or lack thereof) that you grew up with to polytheism and worshipping a variety of deities or even just one deity, and from there to truly believing in them. I’ve been practicing for a year and a half and it probably took me at least nine months to truly feel secure in my faith in the theoi. Research, pray, do ritual, devote acts to the gods, think about the gods, notice the influence of the theoi in your daily life, and gradually that belief will solidify. You may or may not receive signs, which may or may not speed this process up. I promise, if you want to believe in the gods, in Hestia, it just takes time.

Also on feeling that you aren’t doing enough, the video at the bottom of this post (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=odhRRYqQo8Y) might help. And I promise: you are doing enough, you are enough, just as you are.

Now as for worship tips. You are honestly doing great so far. Thinking of her while doing household chores and tasks or dedicating those tasks for her is a great way to worship her. I’d also recommend checking out her Homeric and Orphic hymns, one translation of which can be found here, and a copy of the Homeric hymns can likely be found at a local bookstore or definitely through online ordering. The Homeric hymns can also start to teach you some stuff about prayer structure, but prayer doesn’t have to be formal. Sometimes I just sit and talk to Hestia, or to any of my other deities. Tell them about my day, thank them for things in my life or the world, and sometimes asking them for things (although I find that I ask for aid much more rarely than when I prayed as the Catholic I was raised to be). I also have perpetually in progress playlists I have made for my deities, and if I want to spend some non-ritual time just focusing on a deity I’ll put on their playlist and read something religious or talk in religious discords. I actually had my most profound spiritual experience with Hestia while doing this.

Last but not least, worshipping Hestia, or any other deity, is something you have your whole life ahead of you to do. Take it at your own pace. Faith is all about the journey. The destination is irrelevant. There is no deadline or leveling up system, no authority checking your progress. As I have experienced time and time again, the gods will very much meet you where you are. A few months ago I was in a deep depression and did not do any ritual for several months. When I finally did a ritual again, I felt Hestia’s warm hand on my shoulder, as if to say “I miss you, welcome home”. I promise, Hestia will always welcome you home.

P.S. I know this ask is anonymous but Sage, feel free to message me with any additional questions about Hestia or worshipping deities in general. I’m here if you need any more help.

[one-boring-person]

Hey!

I was wondering if I could request a Rambo x reader set in the first movie, if that’s alright, where the reader sees him walking through town and knows that Sheriff Teasle will try to bully him out of town so she pulls over and lies about them being old friends and then they go to eat or something? And the reader actually treats Rambo like a human being and thanks him for his service to his country when she finds out he is a veteran. Oh and could the reader be female please? Thank you very much! If not then that’s totally fine 😊

And I also wanted to say that your writing is amazing!!! And the reason I ended up watching Rambo in the first place 😆

Hope you have a great night/day!

Nfhfhhhf thank you so much! I'm so glad you like my stuff! And I got you into Rambo? Hell yeah!😂 I liked this request a lot, so I hope I've done it justice!

Respect Me.

John Rambo (First Blood) x reader

Warnings: mentions of war, mentions if death

Masterlist

For once, the truck sound system seems to be playing the tape flawlessly, lacking the usual stuttering and skipping it generally likes to include in the soft flow of music. Idly, I tap my fingers along with the gentle beat, the steering wheel moving easily in my grip as I guide the beaten pick-up truck out onto the main road, falling in line with the other traffic around me. The vehicle shudders a little as I change the gears, the old truck having never liked to do anything it should do, slowly moving into a more sustainable pace as I lean back in my seat, keeping my eyes trained on the road, with a half-eye kept on the sidewalk and nearby shops. A few Christmas decorations adorn the homely stores, though it's mostly left dull and bleak, as this town always has been. Once again, I find myself wishing I could just move away from here, start a new life somewhere else. 

Ahead of me, the traffic slows, allowing someone to turn into the main flow, giving me the time to glance out of the window, scanning the sidewalk a little way away. Oddly, a familiar police vehicle has pulled up just past a nearby junction, the driver leaning out of the window to talk to someone on the pavement, who I have yet to be able to see. The car is Sheriff Teasle's, the knowledge of which does not sit well with me - If he's pulled someone over, it's not for a good reason.

Checking my mirrors, I indicate off towards the sheriff, leaving the main flow as I follow the curb round, finally able to see who Teasle is talking to. Just as I feared, it looks as if he's pulled up a random person for yet another unfair interrogation. Frowning, I regard the solemn-looking man with interest, trying to ignore the part of me that finds his somewhat crooked features incredibly attractive, taking note of his obvious vagrancy: his hair is long and shaggy, clearly being left uncut for months on end, his dust-strewn parka and faded jeans showing signs of constant wear. From what I can see, Teasle is questioning him, most likely about the guy's purpose in Hope, though he doesn't seem particularly open to this encounter. Making up my mind, I cross my fingers and hope my plan now works.

Pulling up beside the two, I stop the car and climb out, plastering on a convincing grin as I go towards the dark-haired man, greeting him as I go.

"John! I didn't realise you were in town! You should've said something!" I exclaim, pleading the man with my eyes that he'll play along, though it's somewhat unlikely.

He gives me a shocked look, head snapping round at the sound of the name, hard eyes fixing on me with suspicion and hostility, the severity of the expression sending a shudder down my spine. Teasle also looks to me, frowning.

"And to think you were left to walk along here in the cold! Jeez, you really should have called or something, I could've picked you up!" I carry on, praying that he picks up the cue, "Oh, hello there, Sheriff, how are you?"

"Not bad, thanks." Teasle replies tightly, glancing between the man and I, "You know this guy?"

"Oh, yeah. John is a family friend." I lie, smiling brightly at the man in question.

"Yeah, it's been a long while, but I thought it was time to visit again." The man finally chips in, his husky voice stirring up butterflies in my stomach, "Wanted to keep my visit a surprise, though."

"Ah, well! You're here now, at least I can give you a lift back to mine." I offer him, ignoring Teasle's sceptical look.

Giving me a taut smile, which looks more like a grimace, the man steps towards me, shooting the Sheriff a glance as he goes. Doing the same, I smile pleasantly at Teasle, and say my goodbyes, climbing back into my car as my new passenger joins me, sliding cautiously into the seat beside me. Quickly, I pull back out into the traffic, heading away from Teasle as swiftly as possible. 

"Thank you for doing that." The dark-haired man murmurs after a moment, his hands clenching around his knees as he forces himself to look out of the windscreen. 

"No problem. Teasle's an ass at the best of times, best just to stay away from him." I muse, "Do you want something to eat? There's a good place just down the road from here." 

Turning to face me, the man frowns and watches my face, as if for signs of deceit, his quiet nature giving me the impression that he's probably quite acclimatised to being treated as such. 

"How do you know my name?" He eventually asks, voice quiet.

Now it's my turn to frown as I glance across at him.

"I don't." 

"You called me John earlier. How did you know that's my name?" 

Surprised, I double take, now realising how sketchy that must look.

"Your name is John? I had no idea! That's a lucky coincidence, clears up confusion later." I chuckle dryly, "Honestly, I picked the first name that came to mind. I had no idea that it's your actual name."

He watches me for a second longer, eventually appearing happy with my response, looking away again.

"What's your name?" He asks me after a further minute.

"Me? I'm (Y/n). (Y/n) (Y/l/n)."

"John Rambo." John nods, flicking some hair from his face, "And if you're still offering, I'd like to get something to eat, please."

"Of course." 

Pulling up to the diner, I park the car, climbing out as I check the cash I have on me, deeming it enough for two decent meals and some drinks, hoping that it won't be too busy at this time of the day. John follows me, leaving his bedroll in the car as we walk into the small restaurant, finding a seat at one of the window booths, sitting opposite each other. He's quiet, scanning the room as soon as he's sat down, body stiff as he unzips his parka, revealing a red woolen jumper underneath. What strikes me most, however, (apart from the obvious planes of rippling muscle) are the silver dog tags hanging around his neck, jingling every so often as he moves. 

A waiter comes over to us, handing us menus with a false smile, leaving us alone together again until we've ordered drinks, at which point he returns with the beverages. Stepping away again, John and I are left with some privacy. At this moment, I take a breath and ask him the one question on my mind.

"If you don't mind me asking, are you a soldier?" 

John visibly stiffens, eyes hardening a little.

"I was." Is all he says, tone flat.

"Did you serve in Vietnam?" I ask, unable to stop myself as my curiosity gets the better of me.

Once again, John seems reluctant to answer, and instantly starts to glance around, clearly watching for an escape route.

"Yeah." He affirms, gaze returning to me.

Shock fills me at this: I'd heard horrible things about the Vietnam War, about how the soldiers (on both sides) faced terrifying situations that I'd never dream of, my heart stuttering at this admonition. 

"Really? That's...wow, that's…" I go to say something, finding myself speechless as I stare at the man before me, admiring him now in a totally new light, "God, you must be a strong person."

He blinks.

"Huh?"

"Well, you've done what I'd never be able to do, you've faced deadly situations, you've probably been in harrowing conditions and fights, I'd never have the strength to do what you did. Very few people do, so you must be a very strong person, mentally." I tell him, still in shock, "You definitely did the country proud, and I respect you for everything you've done. Thank you for that."

He stares at me in shock, eyes wide, lips parted.

"You...What?" Is all he manages, voice hitching.

"I respect you, and admire your bravery. You're a better person than any of the rest of us ever could be." I repeat, smiling gently at him.

For a long moment, he doesn't say anything, his expression remaining as it is, his body tense as he processes what I've said, clearly not quite believing me.

"You...respect me?" He stammers, quietly.

"I do." I nod, taking a sip of my soda.

"Thank you." John murmurs, pulling a face as he looks away, "You wouldn't be saying that if you knew what kinda things I've done."

"What you did isn't relevant to me, only that you served the country, and you did it with bravery, so for that, you have my respect." I reassure him, telling him the truth. 

John stays silent this time, apparently too overcome for words.

"Do you...do you need somewhere to stay?" I finally break the silence that has descended on us, tapping a rhythm out onto the table.

"No, but I don't want to inconvenience you any more than I already have, so don't worry about it. I'll figure something out." The veteran shrugs, still a little taken aback.

"You're not inconveniencing me, I wouldn't ask if you were. I have space in my house if you want to take it." I offer him, once again smiling across at him. 

For the first time, John smiles at me, his features loosening as the expression crosses his face.

"I'll take it."

[drabsyo]

Drabs, I know that you usually draw Fleur with slightly darker blonde hair than Narcissa. Was it a choice so that it’s easier to distinguish them from each other or was your Fleur maybe slightly influenced by the actress from the movie who had darker hair?

In the books Fleur didn’t seem to have much description other than having long silvery hair (waist length?) and having this glow around her. So like with Narcissa, what works have influenced your design of Fleur?

It’s fascinating sometimes to read the artist’s perspective and your previous reply to the anon about Narcissa has been very interesting.

Thank you!!! 🥺

I was actually pretty embarrassed over how enthusiastic I got over the whole hair thing, but I'm glad it made some sense at least 😂 And now that I've been given even more reason to talk about it... (Let's face it, I shouldn't even be allowed on this website to begin with, ya'll have been way too nice to me.)

Only click on keep reading if you want to read Some Nonsense.

I did consider Fleur's actress when I thought about her hair color. Though I pictured it to be something of a mix between movie Fleur and Elsa’s (from Frozen) hair. But the way I drew Fleur's hair, the way it falls across her shoulders, that was more of... well, I imagined Fleur to have effortlessly perfect hair, like she doesn't seem to need to style it so much because it's already whimsical as it is, what with her being part-Veela. There were a lot of fanfictions that helped me to sort of see a better image of Fleur in my head so really, I owe it to all the talented writers out there!

It's also the same with Narcissa's case. Though I decided to give her paler hair, compared to Fleur's, because I wanted to emphasize that air of vulnerability Narcissa has—this image she conjures, like she's this fragile thing made of glass, which typically in fanfiction is what Narcissa uses so that Voldemort would overlook her a lot, hence why she wasn't given any "missions" or "tasks" while Voldemort was in Malfoy Manor. Slytherin preservation. This "fragile" image was something Narcissa capitalized on and maintained perfectly, but in post-war Cissamione fanfictions, she no longer has to put on that façade—she starts living for herself, but the quiet sadness about her never really goes away.

I really did struggle at first, I had to find a way where I could draw them without confusing people and myself.

So, again, I sifted through a lot of canon and non canon material about these two characters which funnily enough made me see some kind of parallel going on between them. I know. Fleur Delacour and Narcissa Black. Parallels?! It's nuts. But again, this is only within Fleurmione and Cissamione fanfiction, and it really helped me to draw them better. (At least in a way that made them distinguishable from one other at first glance, I’d like to think.)

These 'hair scenes' are mostly the bits where Hermione "first" sees Fleur. Hermione is entranced, a little curious, sometimes she feels indifferent, but the general theme is Hermione immediately finds Fleur beautiful—which probably explains why Hermione in fanfiction sometimes thinks Narcissa could be part-Veela like Fleur. And as you can imagine, that's where my struggle began.

You'll see what I mean in a minute. And just like last time, remember that this part comes with spoilers.

🔹 In Fighting is our form of Flirting by InsomniacAndBi in Chapter 2 Hermione sees Fleur for the first time. This is the first Fleurmione fanfiction I've ever read, and also the first time I've encountered Fleur's character. Tall, bright blonde hair, won the genetic lottery, aristocratic features, face held in a scowl, floats into the room with effortless poise, immediately starts demanding things out of people... Sounds vaguely familiar, doesn't it. Like some other blonde we know.

"Non!" A voice from the doorway said. "This is not what was agreed."

For a moment, Hermione thought about ignoring it but turned to glance over there if only to quell her curiosity. A girl stepped into the room and Hermione's phone call was forgotten in a moment. She knew that it wasn't nice to stare but Hermione couldn't help but do it because, in all honesty, this was the prettiest girl she had ever seen. She was definitely taller than Hermione was, with bright blonde hair and...clearly she had won the genetic lottery.

Her skin practically glowed and it looked so smooth and soft. It made Hermione wonder if she used those fancy beautification charms or had a very lengthy skincare routine. Or maybe, just maybe, this is what being rich did to people's faces. There was no doubt in Hermione's mind that this girl was rich - like extremely rich, like even rich people thought she was rich. That kind of rich. That was the type of rich that this girl was.

Also, only super rich people curled up their lip like this girl was doing.

She breezed into the room like she was floating and Hermione hastily ended her phone call and promised to call back later.

"This is not what was agreed," The girl said again and Hermione felt incredibly small sitting in front of her. Not to mention, the girl's clothes screamed 'I'm rich and I know it' and Hermione's screamed 'I'm so out of place that I might as well be a bull in a China shop'.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Hermione managed to get out when it became apparent that the girl was waiting for her response.

"You are English." The girl looked shock for a moment at Hermione's accent before shaking her head angrily. "This is not what was agreed."

🔹 In Oath of Silver by i_shall_wear_midnight immediately in the first chapter, when Witcher Hermione first meets Fleur, it's something Hermione quickly notices. Vivid sapphire eyes. Silvery blonde hair that shimmered in the torchlight. And once again, right off the bat, Fleur is pushy. She wants things done her way. It’s just so cute how she doesn’t even let the fact that Hermione is a Witcher, an extremely dangerous outcast in society, get in the way of that.

(I'm sorry for this but I just have to gush about Oath of Silver. Hermione as a witcher is just so fitting for her character; she possesses that natural eye for detail that remarkable witchers have, witchers like Geralt and Vesimir (a skill that gets even more honed through the Witcher Trials). Hermione even has Geralt's dry sense of humor, a bit rough around the edges, brilliant, snippy without really meaning to (because she asks a lot of questions and would rather get to the point), but has a good heart.)

The witcher figured that would be the end of her human interactions for the evening, but only a few minutes later, the stunning newcomer from before appeared before her. Upon closer inspection, Hermione couldn’t imagine she wouldn’t be conspicuous in any group of people she happened to find herself immersed in. The woman was looking back at her with vivid sapphire eyes, and silvery blonde hair that shimmered even in torchlight. Her attire was travel-ready, but elegant.

“Bonsoir. You are a witcher, oui? Or perhaps a ‘witcheress’ is more accurate? I am not familiar with all the terms…” She watched the beautiful stranger patiently while she fumbled through Hermione’s professional title. As if the distinctive, amber colored cat-eyes hadn’t given her away, the brunette mused wryly. Eventually, the blonde gave up and sat herself down at Hermione’s table, her medallion twitching faintly as the stranger got settled. Hermione filed that away for later. Her new dinner buddy seemed to be oblivious to the curious and concerned looks now being thrown her way at boldly taking a seat at a mutant’s table.

“I came from Ellander,” she began in a non sequitur. “The temple, and spoke to the priestess Nenneke, who told me about you.” Hermione continued eating her second serving of stew and waited for her to get to the point. “I would like to hire you as an escort as I travel back to Toussaint.” The witcher finally put her spoon down.

“Sounds like you ought to be asking some mercenaries to be your bodyguards,” she responded, eyeing the bow the woman was carrying on her pack meaningfully.

“A pair seems doable, and I’d prefer you.”

“I’m not a bodyguard.”

“Yes, technically, I am aware,” she replied, beginning to show signs of impatience.

“Then why are you soliciting a monster-slayer?”

🔹 Witnessed here in Time and Blood by whistle.the.silver is probably the most interesting one because it uses the concept of Veela hair as a wand core brilliantly. Again, this comes with huge 🛑spoilers🛑. Read the italicized words at your own risk. I can't add the entire clip here, as the topic of Fleur's hair is littered throughout several other chapters. But this story shows us a Fleur who is willing to do anything in order to protect Hermione during the course of the war.

My memory is a bit foggy, I haven't read this story in months, but here's what I remember:

This takes place during the time of Shell Cottage, where Fleur is married to Bill and takes care of Hermione. Fleur didn't expect to fall in love with the young brunette and, as the Golden Trio's time in Shell Cottage comes to an end, she worries over Hermione's safety. Fleur, using magic only known to the Veela tribes, does her best to offer Hermione protection in any way that she can--even going as far as to study what Lily Potter did so Harry could live. At one point, Fleur cuts her own hair with a length now roughly above her shoulders to give Hermione a new wand. But this isn't the only bridge Fleur is willing to cross to make sure Hermione survives the incoming battle. Fleur's grandmother, Ron, and even Bill himself, is a little sceptic over the propriety of Fleur's actions, but Fleur is determined to do whatever it takes to make sure Hermione makes it out of the war safe and alive.

So that was a lot to wade through, I know.

But if you've skipped all those parts for the sake of missing spoilers then let me go ahead and explain why the parallel between Fleur and Narcissa are there. Sure, it's plain to see that they have similar physical characteristics, but they're also similar in other ways.

In Witnessed here in Time and Blood, Fleur is willing to do whatever it takes to protect Hermione during the war: sacrifice the secrets of the Veela, make Hermione a wand, make her marriage and friendship with Bill suffer, be scrutinized by her Veela tribe, etc. And didn't Narcissa do the exact same thing during the war to make sure Draco made it out alive? They both chose to 'betray' everyone else for the sake of this one person. Not to mention, in Extinction by rubikanon Narcissa even makes Hermione a wand. (I’m telling you, there are so many parallels between these two ships and I can probably list more but I'd rather not make this post longer.)

Here, I’m just going to go ahead and say it—it’s almost like Fleur and Narcissa in fanfiction have the same love language.

A glaringly obvious difference between them is their upbringing, and we could argue that this why Fleur tends to be more open with her emotions while Narcissa tends to be more carefully guarded with hers. And I don't know if writers realize these parallels but as someone who's a huge fan of both characters and as someone who makes the occasional fanart of them, it's a pretty difficult detail to ignore. This crazy conspiracy all started because I had to find a way to make both characters look distinct from one another... It's just so interesting that writers from two different ships unknowingly make these parallels with two completely separate characters who are often at the opposite ends of the seesaw.

But again, let's take a look at Extinction by rubikanon. (I know. Extinction?! AGAIN?! Always.)

Spoiler warning!

🔹 Extinction by rubikanon has a marvelous take on this, as it turns out Fleur and Narcissa are actually good friends, and if I remember correctly, occasionally exchange letters (I’m unsure about this bit, I might have read it in a different story). They just get along remarkably well; I imagine they both share a kind of mutual respect for each other, a quiet understanding for the way the other woman carries herself: poised, meticulous, they pride themselves in their work, they both know how to handle an Ocean Of Secrets™, they're both accustomed to being under the spotlight of the public eye, and they’re both dedicated to their loved ones. Needless to say, Fleur and Narcissa are both giddy over the prospect of being with someone they love and adore, and end up meticulously planning numerous (I think it was hinted) double dates (Fleur with Bill, and Narcissa with Hermione) with the same kind of endearing enthusiasm that leave Hermione and Bill with no choice but to agree to the whims of their respective lovers.

(Scene seen in Chapter 23: Build Up Your Defense 2 of 2)

Narcissa and (Hermione) I were sitting together on one of the couches when Bill and Fleur arrived later. They showered Teddy with kisses on his little cheeks. He'd gotten past his clingy phase and adored us all, struggling to walk around the room by bracing himself on everyone's knees.

Suddenly Narcissa reached up and grabbed onto someone's wrist behind her head. "Don't even think about it," she said.

"That's just scary. How did you know I was there?" George stood up from behind the couch, a toy spider dangling from his hand. Teddy shrieked with laughter.

"She has eyes in the back of her head," Draco said.

"Mothers," George grumbled, sitting down close to Angelina. "Dump her, Hermione. I need you to date someone more prankable."

Fleur looked in surprise at the two of us on the couch. "Oh, la vache! How did I not know zees? You are lovers?"

"We're dating," I said mildly, though we really were lovers. In every sense. I glanced at Narcissa and bit my lip as heat spread through me. My imagination started planning a middle-of-the-night rendezvous.

"No wonder she (Narcissa) was so adamant about healing that curse," Bill said thoughtfully.

"Adorable! Simply adorable!" Fleur exclaimed, sitting down on Narcissa's other side. "We must go out for a double date next week, all four of us. We'll dine at L'Escargot!"

Narcissa's eyes lit up.

"Oh, no," I said.

"You won't have to eat snails," Narcissa said. "Please, mon amour?"

"French doesn't work on me."

"Please?" She kissed my cheek again and again. "Please? Please?"

Laughing now, I pulled her in for a kiss on the lips and said, "Yes, alright. But only because I have fond memories of trying new foods with you."

"As do I," she agreed.

Then we realized everyone was staring. Narcissa cleared her throat and straightened up, blushing. Draco made a face. Ginny looked a little more favorable. Harry held in laughter, and Andromeda hid her camera.

"Adorable!" Fleur declared again.

🔹 Also, I just have to add Sugar and Spice by waltzlikeits1698 because Chapter 4: Happy Birthday, Harry is absolutely hysterical. During Harry's birthday party, Hermione sulks in a corner because Fleur has apparently been avoiding her. Ginny decides to do something barking mad, something Hermione typically falls for.

“Ooh, someone’s grouchy,” Ginny teased, retracting her arm and facing Hermione fully. “What’s wrong with you?”

“Nothing,” Hermione insisted, although even she could hear the pout in her voice.

“Sure seems like it,” she snarked, summoning two shots and offering one to Hermione with a waggle of her eyebrows. Hermione pulled a face and Ginny shrugged before downing both, one after the other. (...) “You know, I spotted a tall, blonde drink of water hanging around the stairs.”

“What!?” Hermione exclaimed, whirling around and leaning out of the room to look at the staircase. Sure enough, standing at the bottom and resting a slender hand on the bannister was a tall, blonde witch who made Hermione’s heart stop with her mere presence. She had started forward before she knew it, her heart taking up an even quicker beat as she crossed the few steps and reached out a hand to clasp her elbow. The woman turned, that beautiful blonde hair catching the candlelight as it moved in one long sheet.

Hermione retracted her hand in horror, her eyes widening. “Mrs Malfoy!?”

Narcissa Malfoy raised an eyebrow at the witch who had practically accosted her. “Miss Granger. Can I help?”

What was she even doing here?

“Uh,” Hermione said dumbly, “sorry, I just… need the loo. Can I-?”

She gestured lamely to the staircase. Both women stared at the perfectly reasonable gap that Hermione could easily pass through. The moment stretched on.

Slowly, Narcissa returned her inscrutable gaze to Hermione, who squirmed uncomfortably in response. She then took a small step to the side and gestured for Hermione to pass. She did so and, as she turned the corner of the staircase, sent a deadly glare at Ginny, who was practically pissing herself with laughter.

(...)

Fleur had arrived. Hermione couldn’t explain exactly how she could tell, considering she had been in the duplicated bathroom for the last ten minutes after humiliating herself in front of Narcissa, but she knew it like she knew that it was levi-O-sa.

(...) (Hermione) She tried to avoid eye contact with Narcissa on the way back down and was thoroughly unsuccessful: the witch had physically reached out and laid her own hand over Hermione’s on the bannister, forcing her to stop and look up. Then, with an intention behind her eyes that Hermione had neither the brain capacity nor the energy to delve into, she said “It’s Ms Black now.”

Then she had released Hermione’s hand and turned back to her conversation with Andromeda and two wizards Hermione didn’t recognise.

Come to think of it, there were a lot of people Hermione didn’t recognise.

Anyway, long story short, this is the result of reading both Fleurmione and Cissamione—

But RIGHT. At the end of the day, again, these are just some crazy little things I picked up on and I may or may not be right, no one has to agree with me, everyone can disagree with me. Actually, yes feel free to disagree with me. I need to get out of this damn site and you know, touch grass.

Okay. Well. I'm gonna stop here now. So. Bye. But thank you anon for this lovely ask!! I’m really touched that you wanted to know what inspired the way I drew Fleur 🥺💕💖 But still. So sorry for this massive word vomit!! 😂

[carriagelamp]

Art of Aardman

I found myself a cheap copy of the Shaun the Sheep movie, so I was rewatching a bunch of Aardman films earlier this month and decided to hunt down some books too. For anyone that doesn’t know, Aardman is a British stop-motion studio that does fantastic work like Wallace and Gromit, Shaun the Sheep, Chicken Run, Early Man… tons of cool stuff. They’re always quirky and funny and warm-hearted. This was just a very nice art book for anyone that’s a fan of Aardman stop motion and wants to see a bit extra; it shows some cool concept art and blows up the neat details in Aardman work, especially in their intricate stuff like The Pirates! In an Adventure with Scientists!

Asterix and the Picts (Asterix and the Chariot Race, and How Obelix Fell Into The Magic Potion)

I decided to try a couple of the new Asterix comics that were done by the new team, just to see if they stand up to the old ones (that and How Obelix Fell Into The Magic Potion cause I’d never read that one before). They were pretty decent! Asterix and the Picts was my favourite of the two though I wouldn’t say either are going to contest for my favourite Asterix comic... but still! The art looks good and the stories felt like what I would expect, they made for a pleasant couple evenings of reading especially since it’s been so long since I’ve read a new Asterix comic. If you’ve never read Asterix it’s one of the biggest name French comic series in North America, as far as I know and very worth the read. It’s about a single Gaulish village that’s holding out against the invading Romans through sheer force of will, slapstick hijinks, and a magical super-strength potion brewed by their druid. Lots of fantastic visuals and cute wordplay, even in the English translations.

Bear

I found out about this bastion of Canadian literature via tumblr post that was losing its collective mind over the fact that some bizarre bear-based erotica novella somehow won the most prestigious literary prize available in Canada. Since I too found this hilarious and unspeakably bizarre I had to give it a read, obviously. And yes, the flat surface level summary is... a librarian moves out into rural Ontario and falls in love with a literal for-real not-supernatural-not-a-joke bear. And I have to say… it is actually worthy of an award, which I was not expecting given that I was there for a laugh. It has beautiful writing, and the subtextual story is pretty interesting… it kind of makes me think of The Haunting of Hill House actually in terms of themes. (Womanhood, personhood, independence, autonomy partially achieved through escaping the male gaze by claiming non-human lovers... listen if I were still in university I would right a paper comparing the two novels).

I dunno man, it’s fucking weird. Actually a well-written book, but sure is about a woman falling in love with a literal bear. Give it a read if you want something bonkers but like… high-brow bonkers.

Hunger Pangs: True Love Bites

Best book I have read in like… a while. A long while. I am not a fast reader, and I consumed 90% of this book over a weekend. It’s not at all like Terry Pratchett, but at the same time it scratched an itch for me that I haven’t had satisfied since Pratchett’s death. A very clever, hilariously funny poly romance between a disabled werewolf, an anxious vampire lord, and an incredibly powerful woman, with heaps of social satire, political commentary, and sinister undertones. The whole thing reads a bit like fanfiction and I say that in the most flattering way possible -- it is so easy to jump right in and be immediately taken over by the characters and the world and the plot, you never feel like you’re fighting to engage even though the world-building is fascinating and expansive. It welcomes you in right away, it was the book equivalent of a quilt and a hug which is something I sorely needed with all this pandemic bullshit. If you read any of the books on this list, go read that one while I sit here in pain waiting for the sequel.

Kid Paddle

I watched the cartoon of Kid Paddle as a kid and was thinking about it recently, so I decided to hunt down some of the original comics online. They’re fun and weird, with a cute art style and fantastic monsters designs. (My favourites are always about Kid either daydreaming or playing games that involve Midam’s weird warty troll creatures. It’s like a cross between Calvin and Hobbes and Foxtrot with the fun sort of quirks that I love in Belgian comics. Unfortunately, unlike Asterix, I’ve only come across these ones in French, but if you can read French it’s totally worth popping over to The Internet Archive and reading the ones they have available.

The Last Firehawk: The Golden Temple

The lastest Firehawk book. Despite being written for quite young readers, I did enjoy the early books in this series quite a bit. They’re about a young owl and squirrel who found an egg for a magical species that was believed to be extinct. With the newly hatched firehawk, the three of them head off on a mission to find an ancient firehawk magic that could save the entire forest. Very basic adventure story but a good intro to the tropes for children. Unfortunately the quality really feels like it drops with each subsequent book; this will probably be the last one I bother reading.

Lumberjanes: The Moon Is Up

I honestly think I enjoy these Lumberjanes novels even more than the comics just because it really gives time to delve into each story and examine how the camper are really thinking and feeling about everything. (Also I’m always weak for novelizations of anything.) The Moon Is Up is a book that focuses more on Jo, and takes place during the camp’s much anticipated Galaxy Wars, a competition between cabins that goes over several days. While the campers prepare for these challenges though, they also run into a strange little creature with a penchant for cheese and theft. Roanoke cabin needs to keep ahead in Galaxy Wars and somehow deal with the fearsome Moon Pirates that a closing in...

Lumberjanes v4 (Out Of Time)

One of the Lumberjanes comics, a cool, girl-focused, queer comic series. Honestly, this is just a fun series that I never got as into as I should have. My advice is honestly to skip book one because it gets better as it continues, and I’ve really been enjoying the later books now that I’ve given it another go. It follows five campers at Miss Qiunzella Thiskwin Penniquiqul Thistle Crumpet’s Camp for Hardcore Lady Types (Jo, April, Molly, Mal, and Ripley) as they handle all sorts of challenges, from friendship to crushes, camp activities to supernatural horrors, getting badges to not being brutally killed. Great if you liked the vibe of Gravity Falls but want it to be queer-er.

Mooncakes

Another queer graphic novel, but unfortunately not a very good one. It really looked appealing and I had high hopes, but the book itself really didn’t hold up… I actually couldn’t even finish it, the plot was just too… non-existent. The art is fairly mediocre once you actually look at it, especially backgrounds, and it feels very… placid. Not much conflict or excitement or even a very compelling reason to keep reading. If you just want a soft queer supernatural you may get more mileage out of it than me, but it didn’t really do it for me. There’s better queer graphic novels out there.

New Boy In Town

One of the worst books I have ever read. My girlfriend had ordered a very different book online but through a frankly stupendous error was sent this 1980s pulp romance instead. Absolutely nauseating on levels I couldn’t even begin to enumerate here. Naturally we read the whole thing out loud. Probably took us 10 times longer to finish than it warranted because I had to stop every two sentences to lose my mind. If you like bad decisions, baffling hetero courting rituals, built-in cultural Christianity without actually calling it that, and gold panning then boy howdy is this the book for you.

(seriously, you better have patience for gold-panning if you attempt this one, because I sure learn that I don’t)

Piggies

This was a picture book I enjoyed as a kid and had a reason to reread recently. Honestly it’s just very cute and simple, and the art is completely mesmerizing. Wonderful if you know a young child that would enjoy a simple goofy boardbook.

Shaun the Sheep: Tales From Mossy Bottom

Related to my Aardman fascination earlier this month. I tried reading a varieties of Shaun the Sheep books — most of which are mediocre at best — but the Tales From Mossy Bottom Farm series is genuinely good. Just chapter books, of course, but the illustrations match the series’ concept art and each story feels like it could have jumped directly out of an episode. They’re just cute and feel-good! Kinda like Footrot Flats but more for kids, and from the sheep’s perspective moreso than the dog’s.

[pastelwitchling]

Wooo, we’ve got a lot to unpack here and I’ve got a busy morning ahead of me, so let’s get started. I even have gifs this time! I loved this episode, and I already know this is going to be a long one, so grab a snack, some coffee, and let’s talk about 3x07.

Liz. Because she’s the protagonist I find it fitting to start with her, so. I loved Liz this episode. I didn’t dare skip anyone’s scenes as I’d been prone to doing for the past two seasons. I thought she was very smart, very brave, and when Jones told her that her death would be what saved him in the end, the tears in her eyes as she held that gun to Max - it was amazing. We all knew she wouldn’t hurt Max because she loved him, and you could really see on her face how badly it hurt her to hold a weapon against him at all. Well done, Jeanine, truly.

I can see now why people are shipping Isobel and Rosa. That said, I do still think they’re cuter with other people, but I like the connection between them, it’s very endearing.

Gregory’s very cute, I like his crush. I hope Maria can appreciate and care about him like he deserves.

I liked Michael and Rosa pairing up, then Isobel joining them. I couldn’t stop laughing when Michael just started hitting that car part with the screwdriver again and again, even when he saw what it was doing to Rosa’s head. I just - he’s so cute, he’s so funny. It always hits me hard how badly I’d missed my Michael Guerin, you know? It’s good to have him back.

Jones. Listen. I still don’t care, Jones is so freaking hot. Nathan Dean is really just knocking it out of the park each and every episode, I often forget that Max and Jones are played by the same person, I’m just loving him.

I did not see any of those twists coming at all. I didn’t see Jones being the Dictator, being Michael’s father?! When Michael was able to grab that sword, I thought, Oh my god, is he Jones’ biological brother?? But nope. His son. Guys. This means Michael has inherited all of Jones’ powers. So he has all of Max’s powers. That means the handprint. The multitude of fics I had planned the moment these twists came into play. You’re not ready.

One twist, which is not really a twist, that I had seen coming was that Eduardo Ramos was not the bad guy. I’ve mentioned it several times since the episode last week, but I knew there was more to it, I knew he wasn’t just a traitor, and I’m so glad I was right because I loved him and Alex together this episode.

Y’all. Is it just me, or does Ramos talk to Alex, not like another agent, but like he’s his freaking son? And I’m living for it. He’s just so fond of him and in awe of him all the time, I -

Listen. When Ramos tells Alex that he managed in a day what others couldn’t manage in months? I am dying for this acknowledgment of Alex’s genius this season!

And Alex! Oh. My. Gods. Don’t get me started. But I will anyway.

When he got angry at Ramos, I teared up. You could just feel his betrayal, the way he and Ramos both saw each other as something more. It’s like they can’t help but treat each other like family, and it made my heart swell.

Speaking of Alex’s anger, I’m sorry to be such a Marvel dork, but did his conversation with Ramos remind anybody of someone else?

Namely...

Or...

Every single thing Alex Manes says reminds me of Captain America in some way. Could he be any more of a freaking Avenger?!

Marvel. Listen. Stop wasting time and buy the rights to Alex Manes, bring him to the MCU, where he belongs. Bring Michael Guerin along. Do it, bring them home. I’ll come design a whole storyline for them. I’ve already got one. You’re in good hands, I promise you.

Also, to end the post, that brief kylex moment? Moved me to tears, I love their friendship so much.

I loved it. This episode was amazing. I can’t wait for the malex moments in the episodes to come, and I cannot emphasize how much I love the fact that every plotline in this show comes back to the Lockhart Machine. So it all ties back to Alex. Again with the Marvel dorkiness, but it feels like whenever I watch one of the individual Marvel movies, and Steve or Tony would get mentioned. You know that there’s always one storyline that connects all the others. And that’s Alex’s.

I can’t wait. Heather did an amazing job. What a real alien blast.