#I’M NOT A CRITICAL ROLE ADDICT YOU ARE

[squidos-goodies]

This is a piece I’m titling

Mage Slayer

[pit-and-the-pen]

ACOTAR Zodiac Signs

I’m just doing Sun (because this would turn into a full dissertation if I did rising and moon but I might do them in the future This is obviously just my opinion and for funsies. Please be nice if you disagree. Also, the book I use is called “The Complete Guide to Astrology.” It’s on kindle unlimited if you want to look into it! (there’s also 13 characters I’m doing here so some will be repeats)

Also, thank to @milswrites and @prythianpages for suggesting for me to write this all out <3 I'm happy to be your go-to for astrology.

Azriel: Scorpio. ““It is often said that a Scorpio man can be obsessive, possessive and vindictive, but the truth is he can also be loyal, supportive, compassionate and incredible in bed. This man has to deal with unusual emotional depth, leading to his extreme sensitivity and his need to close his heart in order not to get hurt. The only reason he becomes vindictive is in his deeply emotional nature and his incapability to forgive the depth of his injuries.” (this is the only one that didn’t come from the book and I can’t find the website I pulled it from) This one seems pretty self-explanatory but Azriel holds his emotions close to his chest for sure. I’m not convinced he doesn’t feel deeply and just has closed himself off to letting others feel his emotions. 

Cassian: Taurus. Embodies an animal like wisdom in that they have finely honed senses and are sensual, practical, and loyal. Inwardly, they are deeply grounded, patient and steady, but this can also lead to the tendency to be stubborn or bullheaded and overly materialistic in the pursuit of security. Others can see taurus as stable and lacking pretense.”  Despite everyone thinking he’s a bit dull, Cassian is a rock to all of those around him. He might not be the smartest in a scholarly way but out of the IC I think he has the most emotional intelligence despite not being able to read the room all the time. But he’s definitely stubborn.

Elain: Virgo. Analyze is the primary word for virgo. Virgo energy embodies the principle of service, as they love to feel useful in the world. Virgos are attentive to detail and very analytical. Their inner world is often self-critical and they are worriers. They tend to servitude rather than service and forget to take care of themselves in the process. Others see virgos as ethical and organized, though it’s a bit of a myth to say that all virgos are naturally tidy. This is, in part, because their perfectionist tendencies can lead to analysis paralysis. I think this really describes pre-fae Elain. She might have not been the best at protecting Feyre but she was really the only one that saw what everything was doing to her. She also loves gardening which feeds into the nurturing part of virgos. Idk she just gives me virgo energy.

Eris: Okay, bare with me on this one. Pisces. Their primary word is believe. They are seen as highly sensitive, creative and mystical beings. Pisces often struggle with boundaries and extreme empaths, which can cause them to fall into the role of victim or martyr. LIke the symbol of fish swimming in two directions, it’s the lesson of pisces to live in the realms of the manifest and mystical. If they can become comfortable with being agents of change they will avoid the escapist and addictive tendencies they may turn to on occasion. Like I said, bare with me. We never truly get to see Eris for who he is. We only get to see the mask that he puts on while Beron is alive. But even then, he’s willing to risk his life to help out the night court. He became their inside man and we get to see little bits of his personality. I think Eris is rules far more by his moon than his sun but I also think that who he presents as is mainly because of the abuse he’s suffered from Beron. 

Emerie: Libra. Balance is the primary word for libras, because they try to find the middle ground and harmonious balance in all that they do. Libra is the diplomat and mediator of the zodiac. Because of that, they can come across as indecisive, vacillating and even passive-aggressive at times. Generally, Libra comes across as fair, peace-loving and creative. Inwardly, they are focused on others and relationships (not always romantic) Emerie was the first person to see Nesta for who she is. And she is fiercely loyal to those she picks to be apart of her life. But she does seem to be in the middle of what little spats there are in her group, but as the most sensical one if that makes sense? We don’t get a lot of Emerie in the book (a crime if you ask me) but I think this is the closest to her character.

Feyre: Sagittarius. (actually confirmed by the book). Wander and wonder are the primary words for Sagittarius because they like to wander-physically and mentally- and they often live in a state of wonder at the world. Sagittarius is the seeker of truth and freedom and loves exploration of all kinds. They are seens as naive, inspirational and eternal optimists. Spiritually oriented and visionary, they have the ability to see the big picture of life. If Sagittarius embraces life as a quest for experience and truth their tendies towards naivete can become higher wisdom. I don’t fulllllyyy agree with all of this, but since her birthday is on the winter solstice she would be a Sagittarius and I can see it in bits and pieces. She’s always been very creative and literally see’s the bigger picture in life in the way can see the art she wants to create. But she’s also very self-sacrificing which I think adds to seeing the bigger picture. She’s able to look past her own wants and desires and do what she needs to do for the sake of everyone else.  

Gwen: Taurus, (see Cassian)

Helion: Leo. Leos are born to lead, and that is their primary word. Whether king, queen or leader in their own home, leos are born to shine and charm. They crave attention and tend to be melodramatic and superior when in shadow. Otherwise, Leos are dynamic, self-confident and playful. At their best, they are magnetic and affectionate and light up the lives of those around them because they carry the sun’s radiance within (I swear, hand on the bible, that’s what my book actually says and I didn’t read the whole thing before I made my choice on this.) This is an other self-explanatory one but even without all the sun references. Helion is kind and charming, but also a great leader. 

Lucien: Cancer. Feel is the primary word for cancers, they are all emotion and intuition. Cancer is the nurturer of the zodiac and are very traditional and family oriented. Inwardly, the sign is extremely sensitive and can tend toward being insecure and giving too much to the point of ignoring their own needs. Others see them as responsive and loving but they can also be moody. Lucien feels a lot of stuff. He’s written off as being snarky but I think it’s because he can see through peoples bullshit because of how much he truly  feels. He was there for Feyre. And regardless of what you ship, he was the only one to think of giving Elain something to cover herself with. 

Mor: Gemini. Gemini is the thinker and symbolizes the mind, voice and communication. Their inner life is curious, observant, often scattered and may be highly strung. Geminis are seen as socially verbally expressive but can sometimes manipulative and duplicitous. All I can say for this is SJM ruined what she had going for Mor and focused too much of the manipulative side of her. Mor had so much potential but this is still her sign. 

Nesta: Aquarius. Aquarians are the individuals of the Zodiac and their primary word is “know”. Aquarians are socially conscious and are dedicated to causes and reform, but they can also be emotionally distant and even anarchistic at times. Because they often feel alienated from those around them, they are sometimes tempted to betray their convictions to fit in, but their path is to embody their personal truth no matter what. Nesta is at her very core, loyal. She cares deeply for the people she’s let into her life, regardless of how much she will fight them as they try to get close to her. But she stands by her morals for sure. She is also willing to do what she needs to do when she thinks it’s right. I think that arrogant, cruel facade is the very conviction she was forced into. She was raised as nothing more than a way for her family to marry up and she took it in stride, despite how much it obviously affected her.

Rhysand: Leo. (See Helion)

Tamlin: Capricorn. The primary word for Capricorn is achieve. Capricorns are focused on climbing the ladder of achievement but may have a tendency to do so based on the expectations of the outer world rather than based on a foundation of self-trust, which is where the tail of the fish comes in. Capricorn is seen as responsible and determined but also, at times, controlling and fearful. Inwardly, although Capricorn is hardworking and law-abiding, there is often an underlying fear of never being enough. Their commitment and leadership qualities are their strengths. Tamlin is actually a good leader, he just lets himself be ruled by the fear he has of things happening to the people he loves.

[radioactivewisdom]

Systematic issues, like everything else, are due to the choices and actions of individuals. No group, no collective, no country can be run without the participation of people. Patriarchy didn’t magically spring into existence. For being so critical of religion, feminist attribute the same mystical attributes to power structures they pretend to disapprove of. Even more similar, our salvation is in the hands of men. Since supposedly without their participation, we’d never be free. It’s time to accept that people actively play a role in their own suffering. Just as addicts can know a substance is killing them, but still give into their cravings. The world operates the way it does because most individuals enjoy their time here, despite their complaining. Those who think independently and live in accordance to their beliefs, despite what society has to say, have always existed. The reality you inhabit is first created inside your head. You think, therefore you are. I just so happen to think that I’m better than a societally assigned gender role, therefore I am a sovereign woman.

[youngparadisedonut]

Please come back.. I need my comfort page.

Those fans are now throwing the race card once again for Carlos cause they don’t like how some people write fan fiction..

The face that we can’t criticize characters anymore without getting told we’re racist is embarrassing 

Right now I'm in the process of looking for a new show to obsess over, so I don't know what is happening. I’m not gonna watch the new season and I stopped following the Lone Star tags.

I can talk about what I observed/felt when I was part of the fandom, though.

People are allowed to criticize Carlos because of his actions. It’s ok to still be angry/upset at his character for how he behaved in the Carlos Being Married With Iris Storyline. Yeah, Carlos has every right to be flawed (he’s human), but the problem was never about him being flawed – the problem was that he never acknowledged how unfair he was to his partner.

So here why I don't like Carlos.

1. Carlos never told TK he was already married until it was too late. He simply accepted TK’s proposal and decided to keep the secret.

2. Carlos was only honest with TK after that because he had no other choice, and then when he finally was open with TK about it he decided that it would be a very good idea to have this very delicate conversation in TK’s workplace in the middle of TK’s shift.

3. Carlos saw nothing wrong with Iris thinking it was her place to approve/or disapprove TK.

4. Carlos made wife jokes even if was clear TK was so not comfortable with that and never once acted like he regreted hiding this from TK.

5. Carlos put all decisions about the divorce (something that affected his and TK’s future) in Iris  hands (someone who was a stranger to TK).

6. Carlos blamed TK when Iris went missing. Whenever TK had a conflict with Carlos (meeting Carlos parents, how uncomfortable Carlos was with Cooper), TK is always so understanding (even if sometimes he is angry first and needs to cool of a bit, he always comes back to talk things) and validates Carlos feelings, but Carlos? He was so hostile.

7. That Carlos comment about bad relationships that was obviously directed at TK that you all like to ignore, guess what? It happened.

8. Carlos never apologized for any of this. He never recognized to TK that he was wrong and TK had nothing to do with Iris missing, he never admitted that he treated TK badly. How can I be expected to be go past that when Carlos never acknowledge what he did?

For me those are valid reasons for not liking him.

Because TK is not perfect. He made a lot of mistakes, but he always (or at least most of the time) admits them and apologizes.

I defend TK so much because I don’t think a part of the fandom truly understands how addiction can affect someone.

Thing is, there’s this mindset in the fandom that Carlos was this defenseless boy who chased after TK, when this wasn't never the point. Not only TK had his heart broken, he relapsed. That’s a lot. He had reasons for not wanting to jump in a new relationship, and he was upfront about this with Carlos. He was clear about his boundaries. And if he never wanted something serious with Carlos in the end? He would also be valid. He owned Carlos nothing but being truthful, which he was.

TK is considered immature and childish when a lot of this traits (his impulsiveness, for example) are direct connected with his addiction. And what Iris said about TK being a mess and a project that you guys think its so funny? It's so problematic, harmful and could be triggering, especially because it’s directed at someone who deals with addiction.

But for those who act like Carlos should not be criticized, fear not. TK major character trait since season 4 is being in love with Carlos. It’s so obvious that from now on TK main role will be to support Carlos, and I doubt that at this point he will have a storyline of his own.

[transmychem]

kicking off my first analysis…

the most “clearly trans” (or not?) song by mcr.

“Not That Kinda Girl”

this unfortunately quite literally involves gerard and how they seem themselves.

lets dive in..

“everybodys talking bout the way you left your man” not to be THAT person but… around the time this song was (most likely) wrote was when Gerard and Bert McCracken had a falling out… not to mention they literally held hands during the Under Pressure performance. so.. yeah “everybodys talking bout the way you held his hand”

now these could be interpreted as filler lyrics… however i would like to interpret it as Gerard figuratively drowning in the media’s portrayal of him and the expectations society has. kinda enough said..

ignoring the “borrowed” lyrics and the implications of that… jk.. there are a lot of implications of gerard borrowing lyrics from one of the first technically “feminist presenting” songs about a woman who is done with societies shit. sound familiar?…

“so say goodbye to all my friends” if im getting my facts right Gerard lost two good friend around this time… Frank and Bert… from my knowledge frank and gerard and well most of mcr for that matter were fighting and on the verge of quitting the band. and well i already mentioned what happened with Bert.

“i fell in love with her again” … this is obviously about Gerard and Lynz relationship.. a lot of people, even people close to him, did not want him marrying Lynz for countless reasons whether theyre valid or not. They got married around this time, and there was a lot of controversy because these things happen when youre a hot and famous rockstar especially a hot famous rockstar that kisses men… because the women want you the men want you and the gays want your representation. everyones gonna hate his spouse by default (not defending lynz (IDK anything about her)these are just facts…)

“everybodys talking bout the way you cur your hair” we know Gerard cut his hair and dyed it white for the black parade around this time. everyone was talking about it. obviously didnt give a flying fuck.

“everybodys talking bout the way you smoke that there” sensitive topic warning: … people were probably still talking about Gerards known cocaine addiction… and his path to sobriety and caring wayyy too much about what he does. they criticize him for smoking cigarettes bc ppl are insane and paranoid for some reason. i guess people are always hypercritical about celebrities especially if theyre a huge role model for vulnerable youth. Gerard has never cared too much about all that though. “i dont care at all”

now that we have established this song is clearly about Gerard, lets talk about a reoccurring line in this song

“cause im not that kind of girl”

this phrase has been kicked around for ages about women who sleep around or something. being “not that kinda girl” implies your “different from other girls” mostly in the sense that youre not a floozy or whatever… like lets not pin queens against eachother..

now why did Gerard use girl? he could have said “not that kinda guy/boy” but perhaps no one would get the reference unless they can read into the irony…

but i think Gerard likes the irony of using “girl” as a way to refer to themselves. because people have treated him and his relationship like hes just some “silly girl” or something. like they think Gerard is some kinda whore for kissing men and having gfs… the way society tends to view bisexual/queer people… (using bisexual bc theyve done things with guys and girls publicly and that makes you bisexual by societies standards..)

this song doesn’t necessarily have to do with being trans if you put it that way. Gerard is probably using “girl” to refer to themselves because of the irony.

but i’m gonna say this song is trans because why the fuck not.

thats just how i interpret it. it has trans vibes.

does not necessarily mean its about gerard, because gerard has made up so many characters for his music alone, why would this not be about just another character? the answer lies in the fact that all these things happened to him. hes talking about himself. isnt all singing, all lyrics, really about self awareness and self loathing or pondering of self? dont get me started… also the fact that all characters authors create are some fragment of themselves.. so yeah. referring to yourself as a girl (if you were born male) is just kinda trans…

now one last point after this conclusion. possibly a stretch. this song could be Gerard telling people they’re still queer even though they’re in a relationship with a woman. If this song is about Gerard being a girl then they’re saying they’re still queer for being in a relationship with another girl... tumblr dont FREAK. i said it was a stretch. (though it’s literally in the text…) but could just be like i said, just Gerard saying they’re still queer despite being in a “heterosexual passing” relationship and nothing else…

and this part i almost forgot… sorry for being all over the place i have adhd…. but this part kinda confirms my theory. “all your life i let you down”… is Gerard saying they let us down by letting society believe they are cis? idfk.

anyway. thats what makes me think this is the most off the bat transgender esque song.

transfems and lesbians this is YOUR song.

<3

[tamelee]

[link]

I’m pretty sure this is the appropriate amount of rage that occurs after visiting most Naruto-related subreddits (or otherwise) which is why I avoid them. Usually I’d read through it for you but I’m not in the right headspace now so I’ll just address what you’ve sent if that’s okay?

I’ve always found the notion of “if one of them was a girl…” pretty interesting and well, pointless. I mean… the Naruto-fandom in its entirety suffers from people arguing with- and for double standards. No amount of logic, critical thinking or analyses of the narrative makes sense to someone that is reluctant to accept anything other than what they believe is the norm. Not even the story itself. Especially because it isn’t marketed as something that actively represents something other than the readers would expect. That’s why I don’t think having Naruto and Sasuke intentionally kiss in the story would do much to change these deep-rooted core-beliefs. All it will do is force these people to reason with themselves in a way they can rationalize it (one of those: “Men calling women porn addicted has GOT to be the funniest thing I've seen all day.”) and I’m pretty sure romance still wouldn’t be considered— “unless one of them was a girl”. 

And well, I have many thoughts on that which I’ll spare you, but regardless… stereotypes, heteronormativity, media representation, implicit biases, culture and societal norms also play a role in people’s thinking which makes it all the more complicated, doesn’t it? Sasuke would’ve easily been accepted as the love-interest otherwise— as quickly as in Chapter 3. 

I’ve read a lot of contemporary YA lately because I have a very unserious personal vendetta against the book-whoever girlies that confidently try to explain literature while praising the most god-awful books in existence, but if one thing is certain… it’s that a lot of those romantic stories apply the very same tropes as the ones you can find between Naruto and Sasuke. Many of them are used to support a romantic relationship (as does everything else), yet… the possibility for romance is already an assumption anyway. 

“It got me so pissed I swear I hate dudebros and straight female fans 😡” 

Eh. I would be a bit more specific here. I don’t agree with this generalization. I get what you mean and I understand your frustration because many are homophobic for sure and aren’t afraid to get loud about it unfortunately. I mean… I make SNS art and am not too quiet about it either… so I receive a lot of this bullshit through asks, DM’s, tags or comments… though despite not being a fan or willing to accept the bond as romantic, there are many, MANY who appreciate the bond between Naruto and Sasuke regardless and I personally think that deserves some credit for what it’s worth regardless of who they are. (Yes, even dudebro's because I know some personally who are like that.) But anyway, nothing serious, just wanted to quickly note that. 

… what do Geto and Gojo got to do with it? Don’t tell me it’s the whole dialogue thing ><

[jellisdraws]

📌 INFO

I’m Joe! 27, He/Him

Fantasy and Sci-fi are the main goings on round here.

I’m a DM who’s been running a weekly homebrew game since 2019, though I’ve been a lover of ttrpg’s for a decade now. Im an artist and a writer and you can find examples of both here.

My blog is “Multifandom” I suppose. My interests aren’t singular and the contents of this blog reflect that. Some favorites include: The Gentleman Bastard Sequence, Malazan Series, Mistborn series. I love Critical Role, TAZ, Dimension 20, too many Anime to name, Drawfee, Mass effect, dragon age, the Witcher, Destiny 2, Baldurs Gate 3 and so on!

By and large just… lots of Fantasy and Scifi. I do my best to tag.

My ask box is open.

All my art is tagged awhellstothejoe or Joe Draws

I’m working on commission sheets

You can support me and view my spicy art here:

http://patreon.com/JellisDraws

(and my caffeine addiction) here:

http://ko-fi.com/jellisart.

[jenokoi]

How is it (the situation) affecting you, and how to move on.

GENERAL TAROT READING BY JENOKOI

Hi. This is quite unexpected, I was not planning on making this reading at all. But here we are, staring one another, you with a question and me with a fear of messing up your answer. However, I am confident this will find those who are meant to read it. Without further ado, tonight we will have a sneak peak on how a certain situation is affecting you, whenever you are aware of it or not, and how to move on (were you wish to do so). Don’t fret if we poke a few traumas here and there, I can not control what I’m told. It is a bit extensive, so please take only what resonates with you and leave the rest for your fellow companions.

That said, there are vague mentions of sexual assault and hints at eating disorders, so if you’re not comfortable with said topics please do not read.

Please take a deep breath and get comfortable. Let your intuition guide you to the answer you seek in the pictures below. Take as much time as you need.

PILE ONE > PILE TWO > PILE THREE

My tarot readings are guided by the current energy of my subject in question and my own spirit guides. Energies are prone to change based on our actions, and thus nothing is truly set on stone. Please take only what resonates, this is a general reading. It’s okay to not feel drawn to any of the images. If you have to force it into the narrative of your life, then it might not be for you. These readings are for entertainment purposes only.

HOW IS IT (THE SITUATION) AFFECTING YOU?

HOW IS IT (THE SITUATION) AFFECTING YOU?

HOW IS IT (THE SITUATION) AFFECTING YOU?

You feel abandoned, left behind or ignored by someone who was supposed to love and care for you unconditionally. You feel like someone broke a promise made to you. As if you had been led on with a blindfold just to find yourself completely alone in an empty room, an empty paradise.

Some of you might be the eldest child or a role model to a younger family member. You have been left behind, yet a part of you still believes whoever abandoned you will come back. You might have been the second choice or someone is in the position you were told was to be yours. Nonetheless, you still hold onto this person/situation and refuse to let go despite the exit sign being right in front of you. You know there are better things awaiting for you on the other side. In your mind, you know what must be done, how the story ends. But your heart holds onto the faintest of flames in the hopes of a fire to burn every obstacle in your way.

Either someone you trust is leading you on, or you have been warned of what will happen regarding the situation by a male energy.

You might have developed really bad eating habits since the situation started. You indulge in addictions to fill the emptiness left by the excitement of a promised destiny yet to manifest. To calm the anxiety of waiting you abuse of your body and take it to its limits. You are a prisoner of your emotions, ignoring evidence and warnings, accusing your mind of being too critical, skeptical. You turn your back to the truth and keep on holding to the situation (or person).

“I can leave when I want, so I’ll be okay with one more.” Your childhood traumas are haunting your present self. Especially those related to your fatherly figure growing up. You might have been very loved by your father during your child years before he abandoned you or left you stranded. Yet you were told by everyone he loved you the most. You have issues letting go. You believe in a love that can’t be seen because you were told you don’t need to feel or receive it for it to be real. You just need to know it’s there and that’s enough.

You gather every small move, every little bread crumb, and make of it a feast. You are holding onto ideas and no proof. This situation is making you delusional. You grab pieces left behind rather than given to you and call them gifts. This situation could be taken place at work or in a religious environment. You are making a big deal out of nothing. And every time you realize you are moving on you find another reason to come back.

If we’re being honest, you don’t want to move on, but there’s nothing you can do at all regarding the situation even if you decide to stay, and that frustrates you a lot. “If given the chance.” You want (yearn) for something out of this situation that you can’t have. You want to be the only choice. But you are afraid of the consequences were you to act upon your emotions. You are scare of getting hurt. You don’t think you are strong enough to face the consequences, but you are strong enough to not give up so easily.

This situation could be an affair of sorts. Your competition might know of you or of the situation. “You are not welcomed.” In case of an affair or something related to a relationship of three, you don’t think your competition is deserving of the subject of your affections. You believe them trapped, and that you could make them happier.

Whispers: darling, if they wanted, they would.

HOW TO MOVE ON (FROM THE SITUATION).

Take a fucking break and stop consuming so much tarot readings in the hopes of getting a different reading from the one two posts ago. Stop feeding onto your delusions, please. Take back control of your impulses and addictions, return to the mentality of “if it’s not doing me good then I shouldn’t continue,” please. It’s all about using reason to cut the negativity out of your life.

You might have been in a low energy as of late, often wanting to be left alone and leaving things for later (your room must be a mess), not necessary out of sadness though. You have been overthinking every action and fighting your mind took a toll on you. Sometimes to find the problem one must pull from the root.

It’s time to open your eyes and see that you have been drinking from an empty cup. There’s nothing there for you but what you have made yourself believe in. You were not invited to the party, your presence was not needed nor warranted. You are not supposed to be in this situation because there’s nothing here for you. It’s not yours to fight for and it’s not yours to win. You have been ignoring the truth waiting for it to be a lie, and you have been surrounding yourself with little lies that you have made them your truth. Even if it hurts, you are to look at the situation through reality and not your own distorted view.

Walk away from your own make believe world and you will see how clear the signs become. Stop projecting your ideas onto the situation (or person).

It’s time to face old habits and acknowledge how they are slowly deteriorating you. Love is not something you can’t see. Love can be found in memories, in actions, in words. Loves needs validation every once in a while, not because we must give it, but because we love so much we just have to scream it, have to show it, have to tell it. When someone loves you, you don’t doubt it. When someone cares for you, you are not afraid to ask of it.

You have to get comfortable with the dark energy within you so that you can learn to protect yourself with it. Learn your past, discover where your obsessions come from and understand how you can prevent being a victim of them.

You are unable to have commitment in a relationship because you must have control at all times of those who have a piece of your heart. You force your own idea of someone onto them and leave when they don’t act accordingly to your script. You don’t know how to receive love. You grew up thinking love should not be received, just acknowledge. And while it might take a while, you have the strength to grow your heart alongside your mind.

The seeds planted during your childhood have grown, some beautifully, some slowly, others even venomous. A few withered in the shadows. It’s time to put them under the sun and help them grow. Butterflies will arrive on their own, at their own time.

You wish for a change in this situation, blindly dancing with the devil. You refuse to move one because part of you, like a fool, believes you will receive your reward for waiting like a good kid.

Love shouldn’t make you feel like the bad guy.

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

PILE II

HOW IS IT (THE SITUATION) AFFECTING YOU?

This situation makes you feel alive, desired, wanted. You might even receive compensation from it, both financially or emotionally. You are becoming dependent of this situation. It’s euphoric, blinds you with excitement, carries you into a high. Some of you might consume drugs, could be weed or cocaine. This situation feels similar to the story of Alice In Wonderland.

Some of you might video call with someone or exchange nudity content through messages to another participant of the situation. Sexual innuendo warning: a partner might be really good at oral or constantly in the mood. Nevertheless, this situation makes you feel extremely desired and above the competition.

Funnily enough, this situation also makes you feel like less. As if you are not interesting nor cared of as a person but an object to lust after. You feel reduced to how you look rather than to what you can make. You might be afraid of showing your artistic side or ideas. You feel the best participant to a category you don’t think you deserve. You are far more than that, and are not receiving the compensation for all the effort you give. You feel as if your thoughts have no importance, your opinions only for the deaf. You overthink a lot and act as if you care none.

People might say bad/rude things about you behind your back, some even to your face. You might be in a rowdy and raucous environment. Your situation is like fireworks, pretty in it’s appearance, loud in its path, and brief in its high.

Your feelings are in disarray. You don’t know if what you feel for others or what others feel for you is love or lust, if it’s genuine or a parasite trying to suck your blood. You don’t know if they (or a certain person) sees you as a true friend or someone they just want to fuck. You also feel jealousy, a lot of it. Some of you might have stomach ache as of late. Others might be starving yourselves to fit a criteria.

Despite being a favorite, there seems to be a lot of competition regarding your goals. Some of you might constantly feel dizzy, you might like the act of eating a cake more than the cake itself (a rebellious act).

You feel like a fool who tries too hard and only embarrass themselves the more they talk, the more honest they act. There is someone you are trying to impress but they don’t return your affection/interest. This person might always be surrounded by people or talking to someone.

Some of you might be in the fashion business. Modeling, to be more precise. Your situation surrounds you of people trying to survive on their own twisted ways. Prostitutes. Teamwork is not prompted, and often those who play dirty are victorious.

You feel dirty and alone. Cheated on something. You were promised Wonderland and were given the bottom of the rabbit hole. For some, money ties you down to this situation. You feel a product to a store. For some of you, you are dealing with a player, for others, this is a career or project situation. You might feel controlled by a male energy.

TRIGGER WARNING FOR SEXUAL ASSAULT

Some of you might have been victims to sexual abuse and assault, could have been continuous from a young age or an event past the age of sixteen. You might be forced to coexist with your assaulter, either physically or mentally. You don’t feel like you deserve/want to be protected or cared for.

You feel like you aren’t and will never be enough. Someone not worth of respect. “Your body is what gives you value, not your mind, not your heart, but what’s between your open legs.” You don’t think you can reach your dreams. You don’t think to be the person to make them real.

You might be haunted by a male energy, and people’s opinions about you matter more than the love you give yourself. You are scared of growing old and losing your beauty.

HOW TO MOVE ON (FROM THE SITUATION).

You are a prisoner to society, to the male gaze, and you must break free of it before you can learn to forgive. It sounds stupid to you, but that same reason is why you are all so fucking depressed. You dislike men, you find them disgusting, but you are noting without them. If they don’t desire you, it means you are not hot enough. If they don’t come onto you, then you are not worth the time. You are nothing unless a man tells you you are his everything.

And eat/drink your fucking protein because you are a shivering wreck.

You don’t have to find value in your mind or your body or your heart. You have to accept that you won’t fit everyone’s taste and that’s t okay, because you’ll be you, and you only need to fit yourself.

You want to be taken care of, but you must learn how to by yourself first before you let anyone do so. Otherwise, anyone will easily sell you a nightmare dressed as a dream. You must break your dependency on external masculine energy.

You have become comfortable on the role of the victim, and thus you refuse to fight for what you want. “It won’t matter what I do, nothing will change.”

It’s a big wall to break through, but once you do, life will make sense. You will realize you are a little less afraid, a little more vulnerable. Once you break free, you will see how the world changes in an instant. How your feelings have power, your voice has strength, and your hand has the gift of giving love to all that it touches, regardless if it’s made of mud or gold. You will be your best friend and your grandest rival; not someone you want to defeat, but who constantly defies you to improve. You will see your dreams stay as they are, drifting away in the sky because you don’t fly towards them. You’ll allow yourself to be understood, that’s okay to simply feel without a need to explain.

Once you start to work for yourself with yourself, you will flourish into a beauty that has no weight, no standard, no criteria but that of simply being. You will fall in love with yourself and the world will follow in a breath.

And some wounds might never heal, some scars will forever mark your skin. You don’t have to forgive them, but you must forgive yourself. My dear, your karma will find them when you stop holding on to it.

You wish for revenge regarding this situation. Someone ruined your inner child, and you can’t let go until justice has been served. However, all those negative emotions are only attracting negative outcomes. Some victories are attained when you leave the battlefield and let your enemies end themselves.

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PILE III

HOW IS IT (THE SITUATION) AFFECTING YOU?

Why are you even reading this man, you clearly don’t want to move on. You truly believe you can work your way into saving this. You don’t want to change shit, you just want to fix whatever is going on and continue on as if nothing ever happened. But, if you already fucked up enough times, and shit is just not working out for you, then it might be time to move on. If you think you can try again, I don’t recommend you continue reading this post :)

Right from the get a go, this might be a cheating situation. Either you cheated on someone or someone cheated on you. It’s cool, we don’t judge, shit spills when the drain is clogged. It doesn’t necessarily have to be a romantic (or a relationship) affair, it could also be a work situation (much like drama office). Whatever it was, it’s irrelevant when compared to the universal truth of pile three: there was foul play in here.

Let us start slow and from the beginning. Fact: you don’t like to be alone. Consequence: you withstand a lot of shit from people as to not feel like you don’t belong. You might be a pushover with a lot of migraine issues. You don’t really put up a fight, especially when talking about this situation in specific.

You don’t like direct conflict. You avoid it, take the punches for the sake of peace, keeping your image clean. Some of you had/have a really bad relationship with your mother, or had someone belittle you a lot during your formative years. A family member might have drink a lot around you. A kitchen has a powerful meaning for some of you (this is very specific, but a tile floor and a room with yellow tones). Nonetheless, to stay in this situation you keep your mouth shut and take the beating. You’re very emotionally weak though, stop lying to yourself about it. Thinking really fuck up comebacks capable of destroying the strongest of enemies doesn’t mean much if you don’t actually use them (granted, you are watching out for yourself and that’s understandable). What’s hard to comprehend is why you put yourself in said situation to begin with.

You have a beggar mentality. Be it for love, money, or validation. You are willing to put up with a lot of crap if the reward is worth the trouble. You have grown dependent of this situation. You might work in an office job or wear blue as part of your uniform. You don’t have any loyalty whatsoever, some of you might be well-known snitches. You put value in people based on what they can offer to you.

A lot of people don’t like you, pile three. They are praying for your downfall in silence. For some, someone you trust is among them (please take this with a grain of salt. If you had no indication of a person plotting against you before, don’t force it now). For others, your friends are ready to give up on you if you don’t pull yourself together. No one really knows why you do what you do, but they don’t trust you. Someone finds you pitiful.

You are seeking something, but you are doing the whole treasure hunt gig wrong. Growing up no one really payed much attention to you, and now you search for it the only way you know; staying quiet or causing trouble. And you don’t understand why despite all your efforts you can’t seem to achieve what others do so easily. You have an inferiority complex, regardless if you come from money or not. Some of you might actually been raised on poverty or a really competitive environment. “Many mouths to feed, not enough hands to work.”

Despite it all, all you ever want is a good, simple life. But you refuse to let go of old mentalities. You want to be the little man and ride off the success of someone else. You don’t want to do anything at all. But lately you have been so fucking depressed and no one wants to be your friend.

But hey, you kept on reading, which means you are ready to give the move on thing a chance.

You want to improve, that’s more than some people can say. You don’t want to be a sentient puppet, you want to be a person with deepness and layers to them. You want to have a major life change, which most likely means you fucked up big time and want to improve. You hurt someone, or someone hurt you (granted, it might have been warranted). But you, quiet literally, want to expel the ugliness out of you, and frankly speaking some people are not having it. They want you to stay the bad person to elevated themselves. But there’s also people around you that are more than willing to help you out, which might confuse you because you won’t know who to trust. You’re ready to put the work, though.

Still, you think life will become boring. If there’s not a villain then there’s not a story to tell. No bad decisions to be made, no more late night drunken shenanigans. So you might be a bit unsteady, prone to giving in everyone once in a while, which might halt any progress you had made. You might have BIG time trust issues. “Leave before they leave you,” stuff going on. Truthfully, you will never move on if you don’t lose that.

HOW TO MOVE ON (FROM THE SITUATION).

To move on, you have to let go of the idea of a perfect life, a perfect you, in a perfect world. There’s no such thing as a life without issues. If you want something you have to put the work into it. Cheating your way into victory is getting a medal without value. Have you watched Wreck-it-Ralph? Yeah? Then you know what I mean. You don’t need to be the most powerful person in the room to be the most loved, the most respected.

Being the first to punch doesn’t make you a better person, m neither does not punching back. You have to stop looking a life thought black and white. You need to let go of this beggar mentality. “You are rich if you’re not poor and you’re poor if your not rich.” Shit don’t work like that bro. You don’t have to break a heart to prove that you have love and were loved. You don’t have to make people hurt you and grovel for your forgiveness just to see that they care. You have to stop seeing everyone as your enemy.

Life is all about how we interact with the universe. Life with life, not life against life. Don’t run from something just because you expect the worst. Nothing will ever be set on stone. Nothing will forever be good and nothing will forever be bad. It’s all about what teachings you decide to carry with you and how you apply them in your everyday. We are constantly learning and changing, for better or for worse.

You have to understand that people have fears just like you, that people can get hurt by your actions. Be more patience, don’t jump at the slightest movement. Don’t enter the first exit you see, let the road take you to your destination. And stop trying to hurt people for the sake of hurting, it’s not cool.

Don’t give value to people based on what they can give to you. You are missing out on so many experiences and learning opportunities by closing off from others. You are blinded by an artificial dream to see what the universe is trying to gift to you. (This is oddly specific, but please stop watching so much porn). It’s okay to ask for help bro, and maybe it’s about damn time you do. You might discover different perspectives about things you used to think yourself an expert on. And stop procrastinating so much, you got shit to do, masterpieces to create.

Don’t be so closed off to new experiences, and try new activities. You won’t belong anywhere if you keep pretending to be someone you aren’t. When you feel the most comfortable, you will find yourself surrounded by people who love you just the way you are. Breaking news, love is not supposed to make you feel like shit.

Also, stop being so hasty. Slow down, take your time and enjoy the ride. You will appreciate all that you have if you simply take a moment to enjoy it.

Stop running away, you will only tired yourself.

You wish to belong so desperately, to fulfill an idea, that you are willing to lose yourself to the situation. Fake it till you make make, make yourself miserable that is. In essence, you are afraid of being alone, to never be wanted for who you are, and you prefer to burn the forest at the first sound of a branch snapping than letting life find you.

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It's really late and I'm very tired, but I had the urge to post this reading as soon as possible. I'll fix any mistakes tomorrow as soon as time allows me to do so. As always, thank you for trusting me with your energies, stay safe, and the universe loves you all &lt;3

[ramblings-of-a-mad-cat]

Pokemon And Their Trainers

An in-depth analysis of the Pokemon world and its culture (hereafter referred to as the “Pokeverse.”) Where I’ll attempt to understand just what these beings actually are, and how they relate to the humans of their universe. 

For this post, I will reference the video game lore, but I will, to a large extent, be pulling examples from the anime. While I can understand why this might invalidate my points to some of you, I truly think the anime should be considered fair game. It depicts what the Pokeverse is truly supposed to be like, as the writers intend it to be, unhampered by the restrictions of a video game. 

So here’s the million dollar question. Are Pokemon slaves?

At this point, I know that the Pokemon fandom and the general public have a well-established and largely iron-cast interpretation of what it means to be a Pokemon Trainer, but today I’m going to attempt to challenge that interpretation. Because on the whole, it’s not especially flattering, and I think it’s false. You’ve seen the jokes, and the video essays, and the parody comics. You’ve seen it all. People have criticized Pokemon for the premise of the game effectively being a system of romanticized slavery. That the heartless humans kidnap these innocent animals and force them into sadistic dog-fights to further their own power, to the point where it is a global, televised sport. Ask anyone and they’ll tell you, Pokemon…are slaves. It's animal abuse. Those who argue it are in denial.

The funny thing is, most people don’t argue it. Which is because, to a large extent, most people don’t care. It’s just a video game, right? It’s not as though the Pokemon are outwardly suffering. Pokemon fans seem to just accept this premise and live with it, because the Pokemon world is bright and enjoyable and the formula of the games is simply addicting. To most people, the problematic premise of this universe isn’t a big deal. Nobody takes a passionate stance against it, apart from Gamefreak itself of course. They have little choice but to dismiss these claims, to argue against them…but nobody really listens. The franchise may do the best it can to play up the whole “friendship” angle, but the majority of fans, casual and otherwise, would say they’re not fooling anyone.

I disagree. 

I’m not saying these points don’t have merit. To a degree, they do. But this conclusion about the Pokeverse is not the only one that can be drawn from analyzing this world. It's also based on several assumptions, headcanons, and interpretations of this world’s symbolism. I interpret these things differently myself, and I’ll try to explain how. But the bottom line is that humans and pokemon exist together in this world and have a unique relationship. Our world has humans, but not pokemon, so one can assume that the Pokemon are a deliberate symbol of…something. What that something is will probably vary based on who you ask, but just about everyone seems to interpret them as the “animals” of their universe. As in, living creatures who are not human. (Because Humans…are also Animals, and that’s kind of the whole point right there, but I’m getting ahead of myself.) 

We seem to draw an inherent comparison between Pokemon and #RealWorld Animals, which is where all of this stems from. I believe this is a mistake. Or if nothing else, it’s not the definitive interpretation of what they are. If anything, the closest comparison I can think of is…maybe Angels? But even that doesn’t truly describe their role. The more the Pokeverse gets fleshed out, the clearer it becomes to me that catching and training Pokemon are completely misunderstood concepts. They’re not really comparable to anything in real life, certainly not the training of animals or the keeping of pets. I genuinely don’t think that the relationship between Trainer and Pokemon has an equivalent in our world. 

I do understand where the impulse to make this comparison comes from. Of course people look at Pokemon and see animals. After all, they're living, breathing creatures, magical creatures that coexist with humanity. A not insignificant number of them do resemble real-life animals or are otherwise based on them. The most crucial bit of evidence for this idea is that the Pokeverse, by all appearances, lacks “real world” animals of its own. There are no recognizable creatures from our world to speak of, apart from humanity. So I can see how people reached this conclusion and I get why they draw the parallel.

However, it’s just not a fair comparison to make. Not at all. 

Some animals do have the means to defend themselves, of course. But Pokemon have abilities on another level entirely. They’re basically magic. They have superpowers unique to themselves. Can a human spit fire? Tunnel a hole in seconds? Can they summon storms in the blink of an eye? Can a human block all damage with Wonder Guard? The answer is no. They cannot do this. Humans are one race, and a relatively mundane race at that. While they are distinctly separate from Pokemon…that doesn’t make them superior. It doesn’t make them more powerful. The sheer variety in Pokemon species, not to mention the variety of their powers, means that if war was to break out between the two communities…the humans would not win. It wouldn’t even be close. 

Pokemon are baked deep into this culture. If you had to guess which of these two societies was here first, would you really guess humanity? I wouldn’t. Just look at the spiritual side of this world. It has deities who are confirmed to exist, who created this world as we know it..and they’re all Pokemon. Who knows where the humans even came from, but the Legendary Pokemon are the ones who fashioned the universe.

It is vanity to assume that Humanity is the dominant species of the Pokeverse.

They are not in charge of this world - they could never be. Pokemon explicitly range from human to above-human level intelligence. The humans attempt to understand them, but the Anime clarifies that they’ve chosen to name the Pokemon based on their speech patterns. Pokemon don’t “say their name” and nothing else. It’s the reverse. They speak unique languages that the humans elected to name them for. By contrast, Pokemon can clearly understand human language. There’s no way around it, they are smarter than us. So it’s no surprise that they have their own communities and systems, totally independent from humanity. However, there are also countless Pokemon who choose (read: CHOOSE) to work with humans, on individual and group-wide scales.

In fact, Pokemon and Humans may not be so different at all.

They may descend from a common ancestor. There is consistent flavor text that verifies this, stating that on a fundamental level, Pokemon and Humans are all but the same. Perhaps humankind and Pokemon weren’t always separate beings? Perhaps they were once one and the same? It’s pure conjecture, but according to the Library in Canalave City, there was a time in the ancient past when Pokemon ate at the same table as Humans and would even marry them sometimes. That last bit of trivia is cut from the English version, undoubtedly because of the popular interpretation I discussed earlier. Fans see Pokemon as animals, and the dubbing team probably wanted to avert any weird implications. 

What’s odd is that in Legends: Arceus, which takes place in the ancient past…humans and pokemon have clearly already been separated, and have no relationship beyond hostility and fear towards each other. There are exceptions, of course, but by and large, the idea of a “Pokemon Trainer” is a new concept to the humans in Hisui. I’m getting very off topic now, but it does make a fan wonder. Just what happened to separate pokemon and humankind? They were as close as kin at one point, before some kind of split occurred, and it’s taken countless generations for them to redevelop a closeness...there’s a greater mystery here that isn’t relevant to the topic at hand, but these questions are worth asking. Either way, the point is that the two communities are almost fated to come together.

The Pokemon are drawn to humanity, and whether they invest in an official “trainer” or not, they seek out humans just as often as the humans go looking for them.

The pokemon will form these partnerships out of their own desire. A desire for what, you may be asking? I think it varies, but when it comes to the Trainer/Pokemon relationship, we can assume the typical goal is shared strength. The human and the pokemon form a symbiotic relationship in the Training system. This is stated numerous times, especially in the Anime - A wild pokemon will never reach their full potential. Not without a Trainer. You see? It isn’t only the humans who benefit from this relationship, and the Pokemon understand this. The vast majority of them want to be caught, they seek a trainer who can help them harness their powers. 

Mewtwo decries Pokemon Training as Slavery during Mewtwo Strikes Back. Pikachu contradicts him, and Ash literally puts his life on the line in the effort to prove him wrong. Much later, in Lucario and the Mystery of Mew, the same question comes up. Lucario asks if Ash is Pikachu’s “master” and Ash rejects that terminology. Because Pikachu is his best friend, nothing less. There is a reason why the word is “Trainer” and not “Master” or “Owner.” Because Pokemon Trainers do not own their Pokemon. Full stop. The Poke Ball isn't a prison. It, and the PC Boxes from the games, are implied to be a kind of virtual reality. The Poke Ball is a symbol, a convenience more than anything else, but not a requirement. Ash is living proof. The Poke-Ball may be the norm, but if you're claustrophobic like Pikachu, or you're just not feeling it, you can abstain. Ash has never treated Pikachu as a captive. (Except for that one time…)

Okay, I’ll address this real quick. Yes, Ash did drag Pikachu along with a rope in the first episode, and used rubber gloves so that Pikachu could not retaliate. I’m just gonna have to call that #EarlyInstallmentWeirdness. This was Generation 1, this was back when Ghost Types were literally dead Pokemon. Besides, Pikachu had already shocked Ash unprovoked, so the rubber gloves were arguably self-defense. I guess you could make the case that Ash didn’t ��truly” become Pikachu’s Trainer until the end of the episode. But in general, the writers have shaped this world beyond what was established in the very beginning, and perhaps they’re deliberately trying to counter the claims of slavery and animal abuse, but even if that’s true…it doesn’t mean make the contributions less canon.

How it started.

How it's going.

Never mind. What about catching pokemon? That’s still messed up, right? 

There is an obvious counterargument to be made to my stance, a Donphan in the room, and I won’t ignore it. The counterpoint here is that capturing Pokemon is almost always done against their will. Or at least, that’s how it’s traditionally done, and the norm in the games remains consistent. Still. Ash winds up befriending the majority of his Pokemon instead, and he’s far from the only trainer we see doing so. James is another human who recruits his teammates primarily through his own likable qualities. You might argue that while obtaining a Pokemon can happen without fighting, that style is unusual. But again, based on the anime, it doesn’t seem to be that uncommon. I think what’s considered rare is that Ash seems to specialize in doing this despite his intended goal of training Pokemon for battle. 

But, whatever. Capturing Pokemon through battle still happens, right? It happens quite a lot. The examples that differ from this norm don’t erase that, nor do they erase how repugnant it is. After all, the Trainer is cornering a creature who more often than not, was just minding their own business. (A wild pokemon is very often the one to initiate battle, but never mind.) The trainer then forcibly kidnaps them after violently assaulting them. Even the term “capturing” pokemon has problematic connotations. No way around it - on paper, this sounds bad. It sounds horrific. But if I may, I’d like to offer a different perspective based on what I’ve been able to observe of the Pokeverse’s culture. First of all, I’d like to offer a scalding hot take about the violence of Pokemon battles. This may be where I lose a lot of people, but hear me out. 

I challenge the idea that a Pokemon battle is “violent.” 

Or at least, I don’t believe the characters consider it to be violent, not in the same way we understand it. A pokemon battle isn’t assault, because they’re not human. But it’s also not animal abuse, because the Pokeverse doesn’t have animals. Again, it’s worth remembering that Pokemon are supernatural creatures with magical powers, and I’d say their powers, the “moves” they learn, play by different rules than conventional fighting. There’s actually quite a bit of evidence to suggest that this is true. 

In Mewtwo Strikes Back, the Pokemon very specifically fight their clones without access to any of their actual moves, after Mewtwo psychically blocks their powers. Everything about this scene is meant to convey tragedy. All of a sudden, a series that’s been all about battle is preaching against violence. Sure, we can call it bad writing, executive meddling, or anything we want. But ignore the Fourth Wall and ask yourself, why would the characters react this way in-universe? Why is it that Pokemon battling has always been okay, but in this one instance, it’s not? The movie goes to great lengths to show us that the Pokemon are hurting each other. Which we don’t normally see.

The only difference? The Pokemon aren’t using their normal moves.

From this, we can conclude that the typical, conventional Pokemon battle, where the two pokemon fight using their special abilities...it doesn’t hurt them. It may tire them out, but a Pokemon Center can heal basically any injuries in record time. Nurse Joy is some kind of miracle worker…or maybe she isn’t. Maybe The Pokemon are being tired out from their battles, but not actually harmed in the long term. This would explain why Pokemon attacks don’t cause lasting damage to humans, either. Get hit with a Flamethrower? Don’t worry, you’ll just be temporarily stunned and have soot all over your face. The doylist explanation is, once again, that it’s a children’s cartoon, but that doesn’t explain what’s happening in-universe. Team Rocket has been electrocuted by Pikachu a near-infinite number of times. So how are they even alive? 

Simple. Pikachu isn’t actually trying to kill them. Because of course he isn’t. It’s quite possible that Pokemon moves simply are not capable of inflicting serious damage, or perhaps Pokemon have an inherent resistance to them. But I suspect it’s not a lack of ability that stops Pokemon moves from being violent…but an almost universal choice. That when Pokemon go on the offensive with their powers, or at least, when they direct said powers at humans…they are always pulling their punches. That’s why the fight on New Island was so grotesque - the Pokemon were not remotely familiar with battling that way, engaging in true violence, and there’s little doubt that they were figuratively and literally scarred by that night. 

It’s no wonder they never use their powers to cause actual bodily harm to anyone - I wouldn’t be surprised if there’s some kind of sacred, unspoken taboo among Pokemon against doing so. A taboo that wouldn't be known to the newborn clone Pokemon on New Island. A taboo that may not have existed centuries ago, in say, the ancient times of the Hisui region. But present day, communities of Pokemon are more civilized, and they a working relationship with human society that ranges from neutral to friendly. We’re in head-canon territory now, but this kind of law among pokemon kind makes a lot of sense. There may be Pokemon out there who break this taboo, but they would be few and far between - probably outcasts among their own kind. It would add a new dimension to Pikachu's refusal to fight back against his clone counterpart.

Again, this scene makes a point of telling us over and over, that what we’re seeing is wrong. “Pokemon aren’t meant to fight. Not like this.” That line right there is precisely the point. Battling isn’t meant to be like that, and in practice, it almost never is. There’s a reason why Pokemon almost never actually die in battle, and only get “very weak,” a condition that is cured flawlessly with the medical science of a Pokemon Center. It’s almost like a Pokemon’s powers create a kind of invisible simulation system, allowing them to spar with their opponent safely. Because that’s what a Pokemon battle is, at heart. It’s a test of skill. It’s meant to just be friendly sparring. A kind of sport that the Pokemon and Trainers engage in together, and it’s stated many times that they need to be in sync to have any hope of a successful career in professional matches. Again, I refer you to Mewtwo Strikes Back. The Pokemon were able to use their powers collectively to restore Ash to life. There’s clearly a lot more to a Pokemon’s power than just combat. That part is nothing more than recreation for them. 

I realize that I deviated tremendously from the original question about capturing Pokemon, but I feel that it’s important to address this point. 

Pokemon Battling is not violence. It’s effectively a sport that all sides consent to playing, a sport that has safety measures practically built in, as well as further precautions offered like the Pokemon Center. In that sense, it's more or less just another interpretation of Pokemon Contests, and Showcases, and everything else. A human helping a Pokemon study their powers and use them to fullest potential. This is the reason why I don’t actually consider a Trainer fighting a wild Pokemon to be so obscene. However, that only addresses the question of violence. Trainers are still kidnapping Pokemon against their will, right? That’s why one has to “weaken” a Pokemon to catch them. Well, believe it or not, I’m going to debunk that too. 

Barring exceptions, the wild Pokemon must be exhausted to the point that they can no longer resist a poke-ball, before you can obtain them. Their opinion about being caught is always a non-issue. By all accounts, it doesn't seem as though this is acceptable. But even this, I think, is part of the cultural dissonance. Among other things, we don’t know what the little “click” of the Poke-ball actually means. It signals that the capture was a success, but is that the Pokemon choosing to yield, or the Poke Ball’s technology locking them in? It’s a little ambiguous, I’ll freely admit as much…but I would argue that the former idea isn’t impossible. Again, wild Pokemon, generally speaking, actually want to find a Trainer. The first episode of the anime even hints that certain wild Pokemon are jealous of those with trainers. With that in mind, why is catching them even a fight to begin with? 

I’ll tell you why. When a wild pokemon battles a trainer, they are essentially giving that trainer a test.

They’re gauging the trainer’s abilities to bring out the potential of their pokemon. If you’re a trainer, and your pokemon defeats another pokemon in the wild…you’ve just proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that your pokemon is stronger than the wild one. You have now proven that you have something to offer, you’ve passed the test. The wild Pokemon now realizes that it stands to learn something, to grow more powerful, by accepting your tutelage. That’s why it’s considered acceptable to the pokemon to follow a trainer after they are overpowered and captured. It’s like…right of conquest, but with fully informed consent. 

Consent is key here, and I believe this cultural understanding to be the reason that most pokemon are immediately comfortable with following the trainer who caught them. While one might argue that they don't really have a choice anymore...that simply isn't true. The anime clarifies that Pokemon can release themselves from a Poke-Ball whenever they want. Misty’s Psyduck is the most iconic example of this, but there are countless others.  In theory, a Pokemon could just leave a trainer who they find unsatisfactory. Actually, that’s not just a theory. That’s canon. Something that most people don’t seem to realize (or at least, they forget) is that it’s not just Trainers who ditch Pokemon they no longer want. It happens in reverse as well.

Pokemon can and do abandon their trainers, if they deem said trainers to be unworthy of their talents. 

Remember when I said that I would be chiefly referencing the anime, because it’s the most reliable depiction of what the Pokeverse is supposed to be like? This is exactly what I was talking about. Because obviously, this never happens in the games. Your Pokemon don’t just disappear from your party or PC boxes, because that would be an incredibly stupid and unfair mechanic. But in the anime, where the relationships between pokemon and trainer are more fleshed out? In the first season, Bad To The Bone is about a Marowak who chose to ditch his trainer after said trainer had his badges stolen. While the Marowak eventually changed his mind, at no point did any character voice the idea of trying to return him by force. It was Marowak’s choice and no one else’s, which is why the trainer was heartbroken.

But that’s not a one-off, it’s not the only example. There are quite a few. Due to a misunderstanding, Gym Leader Pryce once believed his Piloswine had abandoned him. Then there’s Ash. Always the mother hen, he’s adopted many pokemon who were abandoned by previous trainers, but the opposite has also happened. His Snivy, and his Greninja, are both Pokemon who were explicitly stated to have had previous trainers whom they chose to leave, because they didn’t feel understood. Typically, it seems that Pokemon choose to leave because they feel as though the unspoken contract that is “pokemon training” has been violated somehow, or they’re otherwise not getting what they signed up for. This is why the traditional method of “catching” pokemon is so vital. Because it’s an honor system.

Any time a human does attempt to force a pokemon into submission or otherwise harm them through any method that is not the traditional system of capture, the story treats them as unquestionably villainous for doing so. The other humans react in horror, and attempt to stop them. This is because forgoing the “defeat them in battle” route and instead using some kind of technology or whatnot to claim the Pokemon is seen as dishonorable at the best of times, and evil at the worst of times. The Trainer is ignoring the agency of the Pokemon. Attempting capture in the conventional way is a mutually accepted system, the wild Pokemon know and understand that a trainer may attempt to take them, and if they really don’t want to be said Trainer’s pokemon, they can always choose to leave after they are captured. But the use of other means takes that choice away from them. These villains, usually the evil Teams, are using methods of capture that fail to demonstrate to the Pokemon why they are a worthy Trainer, and likewise rob them of the ability to judge them as unworthy. 

So yes, there are exceptions, but for the reasons I have described, I fail to see how the idea of “slavery” is applicable to properly trained Pokemon.

They have the power to attack their trainers whenever they choose. Sometimes they do. They have magical abilities that enslaved humans in real life do not have. Legends: Arceus does a great job of highlighting just how dangerous Pokemon could be toward their human counterparts if they really wanted to be. They also have the power to leave. A Pokeball is not a chain. The only time a Pokemon struggles to escape a Ball is when it is first used on them, and the connection is initially forged. But, as I’ve talked about, I believe this to be a ceremonial process and little else. Trainers will immediately send out freshly caught Pokemon to heal or train, and the Pokemon don’t run. But once again, they could. What is stopping them? Ash’s Charizard never saw fit to abandon him, but if he had, what could Ash have actually done about it? Basically nothing. He’d get a flamethrower to the face and then Charizard would fly off. The same thing is true for any of Ash’s Pokemon, or the trained Pokemon of any Trainer ever. 

There’s another Donphan in the room that I’d like to touch on real quick. I’ve talked a lot about how the anime clarifies the nature of Pokemon and their relationship to their Trainers…but I also mentioned that the developers have openly tried to beat back the claims of animal abuse, of slavery. The anime speaks for itself, but what about the time Black and White openly addressed these criticisms? You were probably waiting for me to bring it up, but the truth is, I don’t have much to say. The idea of Pokemon and Trainers having a symbiotic relationship, and needing each other…the idea that they shouldn’t be separated…all of that is touched on in the games, but the subject is mostly used as a scapegoat by a wannabe dictator.

I have yet to see any character in Pokemon honestly make the same comparison that critics make in real life, and I doubt we ever will see that happen. It’s just not an idea that can be properly explored in the Pokeverse, because our world is unknown to them. Our way of doing things isn’t something that any in-universe Trainer could hope to understand. It’s an entirely different culture. The way we personally view Pokemon as creatures is colored by our context, by the fact that we’re on the outside, peering into this world with the perspective of a society that doesn’t have Pokemon. To the humans, this is the way their world works. Team Plasma came the closest to approaching that idea, but even then, they were the villains. It was made abundantly clear that they were wrong. 

In theory, Pokemon are servants at the whims of their Trainers. In practice, they’re actually the ones with real power and the relationship is balanced, nuanced, and heavily based on mutual trust.

In theory, Pokemon are the wild animals of their universe. In practice, they have no equivalent to our world. They are, as we're told many times, "wondrous creatures." They have no explanation.

In theory, Pokemon are forced to engage in senseless violence day in and day out. In practice, Pokemon battling is an art form that the Pokemon themselves choose to pursue, and it is not remotely dangerous. 

Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk. If you need me, I'll be hunting for a shiny Wattrel.

[o-wild-west-wind]

I’m making an extremely spicy take for one second after seeing how divisive recent episodes have been and then I’ll be returning to our regularly scheduled programming but a truly double-edged sword of this show is that it doesn’t hand-hold its audience. It leaves a lot to subtext, it’s driven by themes over real-life morality (with different lenses of morality per character, even), it gives characters dialogue that contradict their actions, it operates in symbolism and metaphors; it’s very show vs. tell, as most well-crafted media is. And this is part of what makes it so addictive and compelling; you can spend hours dissecting it under a microscope. But it also means that if you’re watching this show literally, you’re going to miss a lot of its intention—and because the show implies but does not tell, it can be easy to take things at face value even when the implication is something else entirely (or else extremely nuanced).

This isn’t necessarily an issue, but I say all this partially because I don’t think it would be so uncomfortable for us POC to see Izzy’s lack of apology to Ed et. al if the harassment in fandom didn’t exist. Because we know that this is how the show operates—a lot is assumed off screen, and long beats of open dialogue aren’t really a thing compared to the way characters are tonally portrayed. Tonal growth speaks more than words here (basically, Izzy’s silent growth speaks volumes). But this show vs. tell/taking things literally is also why the harassment started in the first place—because people took the literal violence of the toe thing more heavily than the tonal presentation of the “this is Blackbeard” scene, for example. So on some level, it now feels a bit like the show needs to do something about a problem created by fandom itself.

Do I want the show to change all this and be more obvious about what it’s trying to say? Honestly, as a viewer, no; I personally think it would be way less impactful if it was. But it’s definitely a cautionary tale that I’m genuinely not sure how much the creative team is even aware of. And what I think is most important is that while you as a fan are welcome to interact with this show however you damn well please, there are 2 things to keep in mind: a) POC are a part of this fandom space too and their feelings and discomfort shouldn’t be steamrolled just because you love your meow meow (you can love him, even I’m growing to, but you’ve gotta be mindful!) and b) this show, while a rom-com, is also so much more than that—and while you don’t personally have to engage with the themes of toxic masculinity and the question of what it means to be a man, you have to be okay with others doing so (and yes, that does include critiquing and critically analyzing Izzy for his role in these themes).

[antoine-roquentin]

This series is shaping up to be about covert attempts by institutional power structures to undermine the health and safety of the international working class. The previous part, Part 4, is here. You can find a cool easter egg by seeing who the magazine in the bottom right image was delivered to.

The above is a dossier compiled by a right wing business intelligence group and purchased by the CIA not long after the events I’m about to share occurred. It is hosted on the CIA’s website for declassified files, the Reading Room. It was prepared by Fulton Lewis III, an outspoken supporter of the Rhodesian government and the son of a Hearst-sponsored anti-communist radio broadcaster, sort of the Tucker Carlson of the 40s and 50s. We don’t have the CIA’s own assessments because those are still classified.

When we last left the crew of the spaceship Ramparts, they were dealing with infiltration, incompetence, hedonism, an inability to secure funding, and the heady addiction of fame. Things were about to get worse as their own interpersonal disputes had come to the fore. Keating had seen his power at the magazine get whittled away as incentives in the form of shares for other backers became necessary. At the time, Hinckle counted among his friends Howard Gossage, an advertising whiz kid who helped popularize Marshall McLuhan and did the Sierra Club's first campaign. He frequently went to Gossage for advice. The two came up with a plan to push Keating into the 1966 Democratic primaries for the 11th district of California (later held by Leo Ryan, a CIA critic killed at Jonestown, and now held by Nancy Pelosi) as a way of reducing his influence on the day to day operations of Ramparts. In the midst of a meeting, they had two staff members slip away and come back with signs that said "Keating for Congress" and "Keating the people's choice".

By the start of 1966, however, the election bug had spread through the offices, both because it allowed Ramparts to make the news it reported on as salacious as possible, and because the Democratic Party had largely denied ballot access to anybody who was anti-Vietnam War. Bob Scheer, the foreign editor, ran in Oakland, and Stanley Sheinbaum, the Michigan State University professor who'd exposed the CIA's role on campus, ran in Santa Barbara. All gained 40-45% of the vote, mainly by cohering those opposed to the war. One thing in particular all three did was bring together the black vote (for instance, Julian Bond, mentioned previously in the series, campaigned for Scheer). Their campaigns were run by a coterie of Ramparts staffers, namely CPUSA member Carl Bloice as well as Berekeley lecturer Peter Collier, and were endorsed by a combination of black and Hollywood luminaries, for instance Dick Gregory, the civil rights activist and stand-up comedian, and Robert Vaughan, Napoleon Solo on the Man from Uncle and both a murderer and a victim on Columbo (see him argue about Vietnam on Firing Line with William Buckley here). Some of the opposition research on the three came directly from CIA files and was given to the establishment candidates by LBJ's press secretary Bill Moyers.

With the elections lost, Ramparts needed a new spin on things to bring back all the anti-electoral politics radicals. Fortunately, in nearby Oakland, a new group had just been founded called the Black Panther Party. Huey Newton and Bobby Seale like to portray their group as their own innovation, two upwardly mobile college kids shooting the shit late at night. The group they'd been part of prior to the BPP, the Maoist Revolutionary Action Movement, described them as "adventurists" for their desire to put theory to practice and finally organize in the community instead of just talking about it. Whatever the case, Newton learned from Robert Williams' Negroes with Guns that California law, influenced by white supremacist vigilanteism, allowed anyone to openly carry a weapon even in the presence of police. He went to Chinatown, bought copies of Mao's Little Red Book for cents, and sold them for dollars in Oakland as part of a course in organized self-defence, then used the money to buy shotguns and M-16s for use by graduates of the course. By February 1967, Ramparts staff writer Eldridge Cleaver had made contact at a speaking event for Malcolm X's widow Betty Shabazz, where the Black Panther Party founders and their cohort were the only ones armed. Cleaver invited them to the Ramparts offices for a sit down.

Remember the bit from the last part about Shabazz' bodyguards? That was Seale, Newton, and Co. Their arrival caused  Hinckle's police buddies to get worried, and they put out an APB and surrounded the building, much to Newton's consternation. Hinckle suggested they go out for a drink, but nobody was buying it. Newton stared down a cop, who undid his holster. Seale put his hand on Newton, who told him off. "Don't hold my hand, brother." Seale released it, because that was his shooting hand. Newton taunted the officer. "You got an itchy trigger finger?... OK, you big, fat, racist pig, draw your gun!" All the Ramparts' staffers who'd come to watch as well as the officers' backup got the hell out of Dodge. Eventually, even the officer backed down. It was the first time the BPP had ever gotten the police to back down. It brought admiration from the entire Ramparts staff, who soon made the magazine the semi-official outlet of the BPP. And it brought Cleaver into their fold. They appointed him spokesman/Minister of Information within weeks. The following is the only news footage from that day shot after the incident, the rest having been lost, with Scheer in the background at one point:

And that wasn't even the most shocking thing going on at Ramparts. This series has previously mentioned the National Student Association as a bunch of debate nerds who essentially trained to have public speaking and organizing on their resume for future employers. The thing about the NSA was, it was a CIA front, and generally suspected as such. In 1947, there was an implosion of student politics' international facing groups. Those who had seen the Soviets fight in the Second World War generally accepted their claims to want world peace on their face, while the groups aligned with the Catholic Church teamed up with disparate right wing WASPs and Jews to fight back. The CIA had taken these students (to note, these were largely men in their late 20s or early 30s, grad rather than undergrad) under their wing and organized them into a front group that could report back on invitational events held in Eastern Europe. In turn, the top echelons of the NSA had to be sworn into legal secrecy as a prerequisite of participation, with the reward being entry into the old boys network of politicians and bureaucrats which virtually guaranteed a job.  

The CIA fucked up. In 1965, the elected president of the NSA was Philip Sherburne. He was sworn into secrecy on the source of funding for their new HQ and general operations, as was normal for the group. But he disliked that they had only one source of funding, and he wanted the NSA to be independent. At the time, the grassroots in the organization who followed international politics and hewed to the left had managed to get some of their membership into power, but they had felt straitjacketed by the CIA's complete control of NSA finances. Many wanted to join in on the anti-war marches. Sherburne and others, spurred on by abrogation of Juan Bosch's regime in the Dominican Republic and the electoral fraud that brought the American-backed opposition to power, worked to find alternative sources of funding. They sent one an NSA man as part of the operation, but he got cold feet and worked with Sherburne to expose it. In response, the CIA had a number of top NSA men declared eligible for the draft in Vietnam. Bureaucratic fights ensued, involving the lives of students in America, Spain, Vietnam, and elsewhere. Finally, Sherburne went above the CIA's head to vice president Hubert Humprhey. In response, the CIA went and cut all of Sherburne's independent lines of funding. Unbenkownst to them, Sherburne had made a relatively radical student named Michael Wood his outside line to donors. He'd told Wood not to approach certain groups because they were backed by "certain government agencies". Wood had surmised that this meant the CIA and gone and picked up the only book out on the Agency: The Invisible Government, by David Wise and Thomas Ross. When he saw that the NSA's funding for 1966 had the same donor groups backed by the CIA, he realized Sherburne had lost and stole the files.

Twice the New York Times had published articles critical of the CIA in some form. In 1965, Texas congressman Wright Patman, initially elected on his support of the Bonus Army and ever a thorn in the establishment's side, had investigated 8 charitable foundations and found them to be CIA cutouts. The NYT had written an article on this as well as replies from the funded orgs (Encounter Magazine and the Congress for Cultural Freedom). In 1966, spurred by Ramparts' articles on MSU, NYT reporter Tom Wicker wrote of the allegations and added details of other botched operations around the world he'd heard from sources over the years. This brought the ire of the agency. In 1961, in response to details of the Bay of Pigs invasion being published in The Nation before it occurred, President Kennedy told his aides to bother him when details showed up in the New York Times because it otherwise did not matter. The CIA had actually worked hard to kill the very same story before the NYT could publish it so by the time the invasion failed, Kennedy apparently exclaimed that he wished more details had been published in the NYT so that the invasion would have been stopped. CIA agent Cord Meyer made the postscript of Part 3 of this series as the handler of much of the CIA's work through cutouts and allied groups like AFL-CIO, especially in in regards to  the effort to influence the media known as Operation Mockingbird. Meyer and his wife, Mary Pinchot, were next door neighbours to the Kennedy's before JFK became president. Pinchot divorced Meyer after their child was killed in a car accident in 1957. She moved in with her brother-in-law, Ben Bradlee, later of Pentagon Papers and Watergate fame and played by Tom Hanks in the Steven Spielberg film The Post. In 1961, James Jesus Angleton, head of counterintelligence at the CIA, tapped her phone and discovered she was in a sexual relationship with JFK, including visits at the White House. When Pinchot was murdered in October 1964 in what was termed a robbery (a black man was arrested but acquitted), a friend of the family heard (he said) about the murder on the radio and phoned Bradlee first and Meyer second. Bradlee went to go find her diary and found Angleton sitting in her house (his garage) reading it. They later destroyed it. After that, Meyer became an alcoholic and compiled an enemies list of the CIA that included the Vice President. He was already fearful of a leak and told his subordinates to go after NSA staff but did not determine who Sherburne had told until his wiretaps of Ramparts phone lines informed him.

Ramparts, of course, knew that they had been tapped and kept phone calls brief. Scheer phoned Judith Coburn of the Village Voice and asked for her discretion. Wanting to break into a field dominated by men, Coburn felt like she was being called by a rock star, but nonetheless found it absurd that Scheer believed his calls to be tapped. She knew the CIA to be involved in assassinations like Lumumba's and thought their dealings with a minor org like the NSA were absurd. Ultimately, she helped by confronting a number of figures on their work. Eventually, a young WASP Harvard undergraduate who was on retainer from Ramparts named Michael Ansara got the call. His blog about it is excellent reading, located here. I quote:

One evening in the cold months of early 1967, my phone rang. A strange voice, obviously from New York asked, “Is this Michael Ansara?”

“Yes.”

“This is Sol Stern from Ramparts. Bob Scheer says you are our man in Boston.”

“Well . . . OK.”

“Listen I need you to do some work for us right away. I cannot tell you what it is about. I am calling you from a phone booth. Will you do it?”

“Well, what kind of work and are you willing to pay me for it?”

“It is research into two Boston based foundations. We will pay you $500.” 500 dollars was a lot of money. I had no idea how to research foundations, but I thought, what the hell. I could really use the money.

“Sure. What exactly do you want me to do?”

“I can’t tell you anything more than to find everything you can on the Sidney & Esther Rabb Foundation and Independence Foundation. They are based in Boston. I will call you in several days. You cannot call me. You cannot tell anyone what you are doing. You cannot mention the name Ramparts. Can I count on you?”

“I guess so. Sure. Yes.”

Ansara knew a much older man, an economist and lawyer who had sway in the Democratic Party named George Sommaripa. Sommaripa suggested Ansara go to a guy he knew at the IRS. Ansara did, and was told that under no circumstances could he have access to the files on two CIA cutout foundations. Chastened, Ansara complained to Sommaripa, who'd gotten the IRS clerk his job. A few days later, Ansara went back. The IRS clerk told him he could have any box he wanted, provided he did not go past the 990 form on the cover. He went past for the first two foundations and found that money came from an anonymous donor and in equal amounts went right out to the NSA. Ultimately, he pulled the files for 110 foundations, every single known group that the CIA used. He would look at the incorporation files for the foundations, see a lawyers' name, and look him up. Every time, the lawyer was an OSS operative during WW2, the predecessor org of the CIA. One of the lawyers had founded a firm with Sommaripa, a man named David Bird. Ansara confronted Bird, and Bird did not even stop to hang up on Ansara before phoning a contact at the CIA.

Left to right: Hinckle, Stern, Scheer.

A major corroboration of the story came from three students in New York who were disgusted by American foreign policy in Latin America. One in particular, Fred Goff, had been sent to the Dominican Republic with Allard Lowenstein (part 3) to observe the election of the pro-American candidate over the anti-American one. Goff had discovered that a man that Lowenstein had said he trusted on the country was actually a CIA agent, Sacha Volman. Another, Michael Locker, had done a paper about the CIA based on the NYT articles. Together, they walked in the doors of the AFL-CIO's American Institute for Free Labor Development and asked directly about the CIA, prompting a crashing sound and the institute's director, Thomas Kahn, planner of the 1963 March on Washington and the long-term romantic partner of Bayard Rustin, to scream at them.

The problem was when it came time to do the story. Sometimes, the researchers were paid by Ramparts. Other times, they received cheques from the Interchurch Center, a strange agency that serves as a front for charitable giving from the Episcopal, Lutheran, Presbyterian, Reformed, Methodist, and United Churches in America. James Forman, mentioned in previous parts, once led a picket in favour of reparations from them. Ramparts staff demanded they talk to them by picking up pay phones that would ring at designated times, a dismal failure. Other times, Hinckle, Scheer, and Sol Stern would fly in, book rooms at the Algonquin, and order massive amounts of takeout and booze. 15 to 20 people would be in a hotel room trying to negotiate who would be writing the story by continent, or by year, or by foundation. At one point, Coburn broke into the NSA HQ and unwittingly stole the original deed to their land, where it remained undiscovered in Ramparts' files till the 2010s.

On New Year's Eve, 1966, Lowenstein was hanging out with the new members of the NSA leadership when he informed them that Ramparts was writing about their relationship with the CIA. "The usual sloppy Ramparts piece, lots of flash, little substance," he said. The CIA had known since at least Thanksgiving. A lower level NSA official who'd just been sworn in went to meet with Hinckle and Scheer. The duo, while nonchalantly throwing darts, offered the Ramparts donor list as an incentive to tell all, but he refused. Sherburne attempted to find counsel in a lawyer who'd once opposed the CIA's new Langley HQ on NIMBY grounds. Meyer had threatened the lawyer's brother, working in Bogota with USAID, but the lawyer persisted. Undaunted, Meyer got word to Douglass Cater, the first president of the NSA and now an advisor to LBJ. LBJ bumped it to Lowenstein and the CIA to develop a response, which was to hold a press conference with an article in Henry Luce's (the man, not the monkey) Time Magazine that this was all well known since the 1965 congressional hearings, that the money was not that impressive, that the Soviets had done much more, etc.

This could have killed Ramparts. The IRS was already looking for any sign of foreign influence as an excuse to shut down the magazine. It needed some sort of relationship with the establishment press in a way that would let it gain influence without keeping it from the areas it wanted to report on. At the very same time, both Time and the NYT were reporting on the survival of Ramparts: Keating had attempted a coup and lost a board vote 13-1, with Mitford and other backers providing anonymous quotes that while they disliked the "Animal Farm-ish" nature of the issue, they needed Ramparts to stave off a fascist dictatorship in America. Hinckle followed by setting up an astounding agreement with the New York Times and Washington Post: they would get full access to Ramparts' files on the CIA right now, before the White House could set up a press conference, in exchange for letting them run full page ads for days for their next issue.

The day the Times went to press, February 13, 1963, was termed by former CIA director Richard Helms in his memoirs as "one of my darkest days". The press pushed, smelling blood. President Johnson ordered a suspension and review of CIA funding for outside orgs. The CIA initially tried to find a way to blame a dead president, Truman, but realized that its own documentation on the program, written by Cord Meyer, claimed that then-director Allen Dulles did not have any responsibility to inform the president of what he had ordered. Switching tactics, they turned on their press weapon, known as the Mighty Wurlitzer, and claimed that the CIA would have been remiss to not conduct these operations. "I'm glad the CIA is immoral" was the headline of an article by Meyer's boss, Thomas Braden. He described $250 million a year the CIA believed to be spent by the Soviet Union on cultural subversion, to which a mere handful of dollars from the CIA could not compare. No evidence for the accusations was provided, of course. Finally, Helms pulled in a favour from Robert Kennedy and had him testify to the press that his brother had authorized the funding, carried over from the days of Eisenhower. 12 former NSA presidents (including Lowenstein) came out and said the relationship was above board. All had worked for the CIA at least once after they'd left the NSA, but that was not revealed in their letter.

The strategy was a half-success. All the foundations funded by the CIA fell apart and students around the world became suspicious of CIA infiltration. Much of what Ramparts found was investigated by Congress repeatedly over the next decade, culminating in the reforms that came out of the Church Committee, which Helms claimed in his memoirs was sparked by Ramparts and Watergate. Certainly press readership was high, and many stories were published in the NYT and WaPo confirming and furthering the work done. At the same time, the CIA escaped with only a few new rules on its behaviour. President Johnson was a paranoic and was more concerned about using the CIA as a tool against his domestic enemies. He authorized a much larger role for MHCHAOS in punishing his enemies (remember the cryptonyms? MH was the most illegal, as it meant the USA). Many of those fingered were considered liberals in good standing and were part of the labour movement, particularly AFL-CIO higher-ups. They fell in line with the rhetoric about communist subversion because they knew they'd be the ones punished if things went further.

Interestingly, a few months later, the NSA held a vote on integrating an anti-Vietnam War and anti-draft stance into its platform. Traditionally, the CIA had worked from the shadows to suppress these votes. This time, Allard Lowenstein whipped in favour of the anti- stance and it won. Lowenstein soon became a fixture in the anti-LBJ movement, leading the call to bring Eugene McCarthy and Robert Kennedy into the Democratic presidential primaries. To a large extent, the organizations that were closed to the CIA had been products of decades-old relationships and worked in ways that nobody had bothered to improve. Within the CIA, a tension had always existed between bureaucrats with their own fiefdoms and up and comers with new ways of doing things. To a large extent, this scandal simply pushed the former out and made room for the latter, who would not do things like create financial records with the exact same dollar amounts going in and out, or act so bluntly when it came to manipulating staff. While the CIA may have suffered a little in the short term, it was an act of "creative destruction" that improved how the CIA did business. For Ramparts, on the other hand, things were going to get much worse now that they had drawn the ire of the intelligence community. While the magazine reached its peak distribution of 250,000 copies a month, it still did not bring in enough money to cover its expenses, and it was about to be faced with a much larger funding crisis: the Six Day War.

AFTER ALLEN DULLES RETIRED, the director bragged about the NSA operation. “We got everything we wanted. I think what we did was worth every penny. If we turned back the communists and made them milder and easier to live with, it was because we stopped them in certain areas, and the student area was one of them.”... Edward Garvey, who also worked at CIA headquarters, puts it more dramatically: “My God, did we finger people for the Shah?”... Stephen Robbins, despite his limited CIA involvement during his year as president, echoes Garvey’s concern: “It’s South Africa that keeps me up at night.”

[arcadialedger]

Your dice addiction post landed on my dash because i follow the dnd dice tag and i just got terribly curious. What kind of die do you like best? Metalic, or more resin? I like precious stone die, but the diversity you can get in handmade resin die is amazing!

Hi! I can’t believe I actually got an ask about this haha. I said “talk to me” and Tumblr listened, haha.

The key word is new. I have three sets of dice and a fourth coming soon.

The first one I got was the Pike Trickfoot dice from the Critical Role store, since she’s not only one of my favorite characters but her dice collection had my favorite color scheme. That’s the picture on the top left.

Then, I got the bottom right at the local Ren Faire, just a few weeks ago. After that I immediately ordered the bottom left metal dice with a dragon design (because hello), and am waiting for the Fearne Calloway dice set, on the top right.

I don’t really have a preference of material as long as the weight feels good in my hand— which for the sets I have is absolutely the case! My goal is to collect a visually unique and wide array of dice made of different materials. I already have a cart full on Etsy and screenshots saved of my favorites!

As for metallic vs resin… I’m glad I have one cool metallic set, but I think resin is my favorite.

[bitsandbobsfromrandomfandoms]

Sometimes I think there is a lot of internalized misogyny that shows up in fanfiction that remains unaddressed because it's so hard to talk about.

It is practically against fandom etiquette to think critically about fanfiction. I even feel very icky doing it when I know that many writers and artists churn out their content for free.

I have nothing but deep love and respect for fan-content creators. (From the bottom of my heart, thank you for your service 🫡)

But there are a lot of underground aspects about fandom that goes unacknowledged because even as I sense them, it feels ephemeral and intangible. I’m only one person, I don’t think I know how to articulate this much less speak of it with any kind of conviction.

So for the sake of that, I'm going to try and chip away at it and see if the words come over-time.

My more critical opinions are posted here and not in the comment section on ao3 because I have no desire to truly discourage anyone.

And first, let me just say I truly loved this story. I enjoyed the bloody shit out of it.

Draco's snarky, unfailing sense of humour even in face of utter tragedy was just chef's kiss.

10/10 recommend.

But there is one bone I want to pick and it's this:

It is established that by the end of the story, that Harry has fallen in love with Draco but chose to go back to his wife.

Why? Because he wants to have a family and children which was the reason he and Ginny were fighting to begin with and since Draco can't give him that, they both agree to end things.

Draco himself, has a very beneficial arrangement with his wife since she is also gay and they're acting as each other's beards but we see nothing of Harry's relationship with Ginny.

So my question is, what is she in this story besides a glorified baby-maker?

Draco and Harry eventually end up back together when their children are grown and they are middle-aged men. Harry even jokes that Ginny thinks he's gay and Draco says "10 points to Gryffindor".

Which is funny because at the beginning of the story, when Draco was giving advice under the guise of Lavender Brown to the man who wrote to Prophet, Draco advises him to break-up with his wife so she wouldn't lose years of her life with someone who couldn't want her back the same way:

She is young enough to start again with someone else. You want bitter? Denying you're gay and then finally admitting this to her when she's forty-five is sure to warrant her casting at least three different castration charms in your direction. And I wouldn't blame her.

And yet this is exactly what Harry does to Ginny.

This isn't so much a criticism as it is an observation that Harry was extremely selfish and cruel.

On top of that, I have a few more bones to pick at but none of them are as big or as important as the first one. They're just little things to be mindful of to maintain the distinction between good story-telling and reality.

The first is that, Harry in this story was healer and it was so much fun to see him take on this role since there are so many stories that feature Draco as a healer. But in this story, he was sacrificing his own life's energy to save people who would otherwise die. A physical consequence of doing this was his constant fatigue and how he seems to be just as thin and gaunt as Draco, who is somewhat starved and malnourished in this story.

In real life, when someone is prone to such extremes of behavior, they don't just stop doing what they are doing because someone asked them to. It's something of a compulsion or an addiction to them. So if the story was realistic, and Harry was actually absorbing other people's deaths, he wouldn't stop simply because Draco asked him to, he would continue to do what he was doing but hide it better.

There was also the strange role-reversal that took place after Harry saved Narcissa where instead of Draco thanking him, it was the other way around because Draco made him promise to stop. This isn't bad per se, but since I'm something of an expert in abusive relationships, something that comes up often in situations of lamp-shading or gaslighting is that the person who is being gaslighted is usually expressing the sentiment that in the given circumstances, it makes more sense for the other person to be expressing. So I'm hyperaware of that even though it may not necessarily apply here.

My last nitpicking is that Draco does not seem to have any sexual trauma because all the coercion and assault he's endured. Again, realistically this is unlikely. People who have gone through what he did don't walk out of the same way. And yet, apart from the physical damage to his knees, psychologically, he seems fine. I don't think this is so much of a complaint because I realise that if the story did address sexual trauma, it wouldn't be as light-hearted and enjoyable as it was. So I like to think that this is something that Draco might've had to come to terms with, off-screen.

I really did love the story but off-late, I'm more mindful of the way women are written in fanfiction because I really think that part of the reason m/m fanfiction is so much fun to read is because it never has to address to complex social dynamics that exist between men and women.

It's a space where women get to ignore the nature of living in a patriarchal world. Where sexuality isn't immediately conflated with shame or submission. Where the characters can engage in recklessness or risky behaviors without losing their relatability or be blamed for it. Where both characters seem to just be on more even footing than if one of them were a woman?

Urghh. I don’t think I’m explaining this well at all.

But I have to wonder that there are a lot of underground implications for why women go in for this kind of thing. And what it means when female characters are treated the way Ginny was in this fic?

I’ve noticed that even in many f/m fanfictions, there is this tendency to place female characters in situations of bondage or enslavement. Or they are reduced or disempowered in some way.

It’s going to take long time before I fully understand what's truly going on under the surface here.

I also think that, for straight women, reading about men in sexual situations will always be more gratifying than reading about women, because it’s what we are naturally attracted to x2. Maybe that’s why men are also very titillated by lesbian porn 🤷‍♀️

[20elements]

Inspired by Ren’s original songs, I align my thoughts on them with the three Triforce components in the above artwork. In the following, I’ll not only describe my drawings, but focus more on how I interpret his songs before discussing what my links are between them and the Triforce.

What I will not do is claim I know his mind and music better than anyone else (let alone the guy himself), nor will I project anything… much…

TL;DR - I entertain all three songs cohering into a story about our former alien warlord seeking new meaning in his life, transitioning from  solitude and hostility to worthwhile connections on Earth, with music playing a major role in this. (Apologies in advance if I use the word ‘connection’ a lot.) 01) Wanderer

Elements Drawn: Fire, Darkness

I want to start with his latest song first, because the MV seems to touch on the earlier stages of his lore before his descent on Earth. In other words, it seems to be chronologically first in this yet-trilogy (apart from that ending scene with the rest of ILUNA). According to his lore video, Ren was weary of his race’s bloodthirsty history and left. In Wanderer, Ren seems to express loneliness, either from the lack of friends or love in his darker home planet, or from other planets’ antagonisms towards him. Lyrics such as “could you be alone with me?” may hint that one of the things he hopes to find on his journey is at least one meaningful connection who can accept and truly understand him, however complex or enigmatic he may be, as opposed to fearing and avoiding him.

Nevertheless, my artwork sees the Wanderer of galaxies with the Triforce of Power befitting both his own strengths and violent history. (Similarly, this Triforce would traditionally be blessed to Legend of Zelda’s dark lord Ganondorf.)

“Even if I had great power, I couldn’t get anything. I keep losing them. Everyone will get up from their seats and leave me. …There is no one to invite me anymore…” —Malleus Draconia, Twisted Wonderland 02) Blue Sugar

Elements Drawn: Water, Sound

This one’s easy; methinks Alien Dabi is addicted to jumbo blueberries :D …Jokes aside, I’ll start with Ren’s own explanation: He underwent a rough time and was stuck in his head, then wrote this song out of both self-criticism and a desire to “feel alive again”. For how therapeutic he finds music to be, I want to say this “sugar high” he pursues is simply music. Not very deep, I know, but it checks off many boxes: It’s his new newfound passion and one of the easier yet healthier “highs” or stimuli to experience. More importantly, it can be a way to communicate feelings and possibly even forge connections with.

To backtrack a bit, Blue Sugar was the first song Ren composed after arriving on Earth and discovering music for the first time. Like as not, his prior challenges would include adapting to life and culture on Earth, to say nothing of a continued solitude. Nevertheless, music can soothe his soul and help him carry though his ordeals. But if he wants a song that can truly “hit the spot” and better yet resonate with others as well, Ren may want to compose a song himself for the first time. Depending on how difficult all of that is, creative frustrations and feeling trapped in his thoughts sound plausible—but hey, long story short, he made it!

The most obvious link to the Triforce of Wisdom here is the color blue (water, Lanayru’s element, go figure). A popular fan theory I embrace is that the “Blue” in “Blue Sugar” alludes to planet Earth where Ren discovers music, with much of the color reflected in our oceans and seas. And while I’m stressing music, (1) water is a good conductor of sound, so I portray Ren in a literal sea of sound in my drawing; (2) in Zelda: Ocarina of Time, Link even learns specific songs from Zelda/Sheik, our “Wisdom” bearer. But more pertinent of Wisdom to Ren himself is that I’m seeing Blue Sugar as a mark of his “learning stages” on Earth in general.

“To me, a life without music is inconceivable. I never turn down the volume, even when I’m working on a case.” —Klavier Gavin, Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney 03) Amplify

Elements Drawn: Flora, Light

After overcoming his personal ordeals and literally finding his own melody, it sounds like Ren has succeeded in getting his voice and presence across the world. The beat and melody of Amplify celebrate his successes, while his lyrics reach out to convey the same optimism and encouragement he has developed. Lines such as “Our connection is by design” not only tells me he has found his aforementioned “meaningful connections” (e.g. ILUNA enrollment), but a tremendous reward to his patience in general. The message I’m hearing is that whatever difficulties or odds we may experience, as long as we perservere and not drown in despair, a perfect timing will be there for us to fulfill our aspirations, just as he found his.

So I scarcely need to explain why Amplified Ren holds the Triforce of Courage; he sounds as encouraged as can be to take on the world and possibly the rest of the galaxy (and this time with less destruction in his wake, maybe).

“Your story may not have such a happy beginning, but that doesn’t make you who you are. It is the rest of your story, who you choose to be.” —Soothsayer, Kung Fu Panda 2

__ Nonetheless, Wanderer was released after Amplify, so I’m lead to believe either (a) Ren wrote his third song as a humble reminder of how or why he started this journey that led him to this meadow of magic, or (b) simply an expression that his earlier pursuits still continue, even with the… very mixed warmth of his genmates’ camaraderie. Speaking of which, that lower middle space between the three Triforce panels alludes to his inclusion in “Let’s Get It Started” with blessings from the Moon and Sky. Last Word

I arrange all of my ideas here with doors open to future songs from Ren Zotto that may either completely contradict what I have here or fit any of these Triforce virtues better. But to anyone who may see this in the future, I’m only working with the songs available at this current time while awaiting more bangers from the Alien Prince.

[sapphicshock]

People You Want To Get To Know Better ✨

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Thanks @theplasticwalmartbag for the tag! 💕

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Favorite song: Currently it’s Granite by Sleep Token but anything and everything by Tove Lo, especially Call on Me. 🔥

Favorite color: I adore a nice teal blue-green and a nice gray! 🩵🩶

Currently Watching: Been trying to watch Jujutsu Kaisen for months now but I’ve been very busy. Try to keep up with weekly Critical Role episodes though! 🎲

Last Movie: Barbie in theatres. It was amazing and I cried a lot. 💖

Spicy, Sweet or Savory: Honestly I love all three, but probably savory the most. 😋

Relationship Status: I’m happily married to @asterkosmos7! I’ve been with her for a little over 10 years now and we’re still very in love and have three beautiful cat babies together. 🥰

Current Obsession: I’m always hyperfixated on Pokémon, but lately I’ve been trying to learn more about cool vtubers (Nijisanji, Hololive, some indie, etc.) and Baldur’s Gate 3! Bought BG3 but haven’t gotten too far past the character creation. 😅

I’ve also starting live streaming and I’m obsessed!! I’ve wanted to try it for years since YouTube and later on Twitch became a thing but have always had terrible internet service where we live so it wasn’t possible. Recently we got better service though and I can do it and it’s been so fun! Can’t wait to stream more when my day job allows me time. ⚡️

Last Thing I Googled: I looked up the Epic Games Store to download the latest free game(s) of the week. 👾

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No sweat if you don’t wanna do it, but we’ve been mutuals for a while and I’m too shy to initiate a proper conversation and make friends... 🫣

@radicalgecko

@bongwaterlemonade

@memeramera

@toobadchadlytime

@none-sex-left-gay

@lenaylias

@morningstarwhipped

@spicy-salmon

@pleaseimtootired

@ohmygod-zu-you-suck

@vappy

@teruterusky

@barricadeb0i

@porygonpraiser

@aspartame-addict

And please anyone else who sees this and would like to do it! 😎

[forthegothicheroine]

My editor changed the subject from the food. “I fear for you — and don’t ask, I’m going to retire; it’s the last straw. They’re going to make Pamela Paul head of Review features, and you, Susie Bright, will never see another assignment.” “What?” “You should see what she did to the children’s section. She’s a hardcore Dworkinite and a dedicated anti-communist.” “Come on, man!” “Oh, I’m not joking. She knows your politics and . . . it’s over.” Everything he said came true. Paul was on a lengthy campaign. She testified in 2005 to the Senate Judiciary Committee about the perils of “porn addiction.” She’s practically the architect of the term. If you read her testimony you’ll find all the trademarks of barely-disguised homophobia, sex-loathing, traditional role-mongering, and “nuclear family is our bedrock” paternalistic faith. —The old “men are beasts and bourgeois wives must hold the leash.” Here’s the deal: she’s not the exception. Every critic over-40 in the contemporary trans-bashing universe had an earlier incarnation as porn fighters and a sex-calamitizers. They’ve been hysterical about “going to the bathroom” FOREVER. They’re the kind of people who called the police in the 1980s because there was a butch with short hair minding her own business in a stall. Yeah, I remember that era. The Pamela’s were the puritanical busybodies active in the 19th century suffragette movement. And often, more often than anyone specifies, they subscribed to anti-labor views. They specifically refuted socialist ideas. Take note. They believe everyone decent should pull themselves up by their bootstraps. And if they can’t, then rescue-charity must be applied, firmly.

Susie Bright, Behind Every J. K. Rowling Defense