#I wrote it at 4 AM
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Finished Gundam 00. My closing thoughts, in no particular order:
I’m glad that almost everyone has their happy ending and something to keep working toward
I enjoyed how Graham’s arc was about learning to live for something other than revenge (you may be noticing a recurring pattern with me). He spent most of season two being driven only by his desire to fight Setsuna again for honor, and how it closes with him finding something new to live for.
I still find Katagiri’s story a bit frustrating. Like yes Sumeragi shouldn’t have used his feelings to her advantage, but my guy. Becoming a fascist is already a bad idea, somehow it’s even worse when it’s motivated by relationship issues
Lyle killing Al-Saachez is just as deserved as if Setsuna had done it. I know we’d just had the whole big realization about the necessity of understanding each other, but Al-Saachez had no interest in trying to understand anyone else.
I was so upset about Tieria, but if he’s still alive inside Veda he’s not really gone. It’s like how in Ninjago Pixal went from an android body to being a program in Zane’s memory bank. Idk, it’s been a long time since I watched Ninjago
This show takes a very interesting philosophy on war. Wing asked more vague questions on the ethics of war, and what happens when you take humanity out of the fight and replace it with technology. IBO comes closest to truly analyzing the role of capitalism in war. But 00 questions the interplay of diplomacy and war, and how our approach to interpersonal conflict affects how we approach conflict on a broader scale. The message I feel 00 was aiming for is one that aligns with some of my core beliefs: in order for us to live at peace, we must see each other as equals and make every possible effort to understand each other. We may not always succeed, but if we approach our problems with the goal to find common ground and work together, the world will be a better place. Will it be perfect? No. But we don’t have to be perfect, we just have to try to be better
I’m really fascinated by the angle this show has on religion, sin, and deity. The religious themes are baked into the show, starting with a protagonist raised in a militaristic religious war, to the final villain being a man who wants to make himself God because he sees humanity as below him. There is also an element of guilt, the idea that there is blood on everyone’s hands. There is blood on the hands of the soldiers, but there is also blood on the hands of the civilians who choose to remain ignorant and look away. But the show does not say that we have to find a way to wash off that blood, only that we learn from the past and keep growing and trying to be better each day.
I did feel like all of this was slightly undercut by the fact that at the end, Celestial Being is still active. However, it did seem that Celestial Being would be looking less to act as they did in season one and more to work in conjunction with diplomatic forces, as a last resort when all else failed or intervening to help the innocent. I’m still a bit saddened that Setsuna doesn’t get to settle down and live a peaceful life, but that wouldn’t be realistic with him, to be fair. Marina says it herself, all he knows how to do is fight; if he cannot stop fighting, he has to change how and why he fights.
I really enjoyed this show overall. To be fair, there’s yet to be a single Gundam piece I wholeheartedly dislike, but I like a lot of how this story was told.
I feel like this one was a lot less character-oriented than other Gundam stories were. It works for this particular story, because like Wing, it’s interested in asking a broader philosophical question and less on the characters themselves in the situations. The characters’ backstories are important to why they choose to become involved with Celestial Being, but their life experiences did not have much influence on them otherwise. I do think that’s because the scope of this show was so big, and we as the audience are looking at this entire story from a much broader scope, so the extreme minutiae of character are less important than the broad strokes that lay the scene for a much bigger conversation.
#gundam 00#setsuna f. seiei#lockon stratos#lyle dylandy#tieria erde#I know this is probably barely coherent#I wrote it at 4 AM
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love you, love you, love you;
mr. crawling x reader
plot: some things are best expressed without the need of words — themes: spooning/cuddling, smut, maybe yan vibes — w.c: 1.1k
a/n: my first homicipher related fic. i want to try one for mr. silvair & mr. gap next, bc they were also my favs. this game has been taking over my life so much lately. like it’s been in my dreams, haaah.
masterlist • ao3
Mr. Crawling was always loud when he was excited within your company; his laughter filled out the vast empty spaces that were otherwise unadorned with familiarity. Whatever you once sought from those winding corridors was ever-fleeting, temporary, leaving you stuck within the confines of his company.
Yet, when he felt what you could only interpret as affection—that’s when Mr. Crawling then became different—quiet, soothing, kind but also… curious.
And when you would usually sleep, he would stand watch, knelt over the floor as per his usual stance but sometimes crouched near you, sometimes leaning back against the wall with his legs pressed up against his chest. He would watch you as his life depended on it, unwavering in focus and with eerie intensity. He would watch as your chest rose and fell, leaning close on occasion to catch the sweep of your breath and sometimes, he would trace the pad of his milky fingertips in long, languid strokes against your face. Always so delicate, so tender, but for the most part, quiet and even shy.
Having once caught a glimpse of Mr. Gap in your blanket space, however, set something territorial off for Mr. Crawling and he was never able to recover from such an invasion. The very idea that someone else was able to infiltrate what he deemed to be your space—especially someone who he disapproved of—wasn’t something he could stand for. Especially with the sort of trickster Mr. Gap was, he couldn’t bear to see you get hurt. It would kill him on the inside (and on the outside, too).
So, just as you were getting into bed to rest up once more, he too, slipped in under the covers with you. At first, you were startled as usual, turning to face him with confusion evident in your eyes, murmuring out some words in a language that he still could not understand. He repeated something back, the meaning lost and indecipherable upon your ears, though soon surrendering to emphasis using gestures instead. A hug to bring you closer, a reassuring pat on your head and a small, longing kiss over your nose.
You listened to his words again, repeating over and over like a broken record.
Perhaps he meant no harm, after all.
You turned your back to him and settled into his chest, finding that he was surprisingly warm for what he was. His taller frame encased your body, wrapping his ashen arms around your waist—accidentally brushing the fabric that sat over your breast—nicking the cloth ever so slightly. Your breath hitched in surprise and as though in sheepish realisation, he withdrew right away, terrified that you were upset with him.
You drew out a long breath, reminding yourself again, that after everything that has happened thus far…
That, Mr. Crawling does not want to hurt you.
That Mr. Crawling has only ever helped you.
So perhaps, right now, Mr. Crawling only wanted to be closer to you.
You relaxed your breathing, settling into his comforting shadow once more and allowed for his presence to envelop you. He repeated the soothing motions of his grappling arm, although he held onto you softer that time. His hands explored your body with a delicate touch, as though afraid of breaking you—of upsetting you again—his motions growing confident the longer that you didn’t protest. It wasn’t long before he, otherwise not disturbed by your lacking, conscious awareness, decided to explore further with you. Mr. Crawling’s fingers didn’t ask for permission that time, creeping beneath the clinging fabric, feeling your skin against his palms, inviting a pleased, almost delighted smile to curl on his lips.
The silence remained unbroken as Mr. Crawling continued his explorative focus on you; the quickly-building evidence of his need growing harder the longer he pushed himself behind your body, the repeated touches arousing something warmer within him. To both his surprise as well as your own—you were not repulsed, allowing him to creep even lower, below the skirt of the dress and up, brushing his hand up to your exposed skin and, reading into it—you communicated your consent from the moment you parted your legs, allowing him to get even closer.
Confidence surged in Mr. Crawling as he pushed himself into your hilt, allowing his hardened length to slip inside. Betraying the stagnant silence, he shuddered out a ragged gasp before giving into his own rising need; grinding himself into your sopping sex with steadily increasing fervour. His fingers clamped around the curve of your hips as he held you in place, slamming every last inch of himself deep into your core.
Ever touch-starved yet wanting nothing more than to surrender to the sensation of you, Mr. Crawling continued to drive his cock into your needy cunt, soon wrapping his winding arms around your body and holding on tight. He bucked intensely as you soon succumbed to breathless whimpers, incoherently begging for his name. Equally desperate whines rolled off the slip of his tongue as he found his lips pressed into the crook of your neck, dampening your skin with sloppy wet kisses—as many as he could give.
It felt overwhelming for you in a way to be worshipped like this but you did your best to keep up with such intensity, especially as the warm, tingling pleasure built up inside of you, too. You held on just as tight as he did, your hand seeking out his own—fingers weaving into his bony digits—interlocking and squeezing tight the closer you got, your grip and otherwise clenching need tightening simultaneously. To feel him losing himself inside of you was dare you admit, addicting, feeling him completely fill and stretch you out leaving you almost dizzied from the impaling force.
Mr. Crawling, like you, soon surrendered to the rolling bliss from the flick of his hips, feeling a surging warmth mount and rise, encouraging him to lose himself to the searing heat of the moment and you. Encircling your body in a possessive hug, he suddenly began to mutter out a new word in a strained mantra, again and again.
Given how desperate he seemed to be, you understood the meaning as ‘close’, especially as his actions grew more strained and less controlled.
“Close, close, close,” he repeated.
It didn’t take his chased release to catch up as his hips grew to a stutter, rutting out one final pump before melting into you. Mr. Crawling cried into your neck, spilling out the entirety of his overflowing love, feeling the pent-up devotion trickle down your thighs—yet not letting you move away—still retaining his claim on you.
Instead, he kept you even closer than before, not allowing you to part from him ever again (despite understanding your yearning for rest).
Words were never the problem, it seemed.
Mr. Crawling would have always found a way to… connect with you.
#homicipher#mr crawling#mr. crawling#homicipher fanfiction#homicipher x reader#homicipher x you#homicipher x mc#mr crawling x reader#mr crawling x you#mr crawling homicipher#homicipher headcanons#homicipher smut#mr crawling smut#homicipher mr crawling#yandere x reader#x reader fanfiction#cross posted on ao3#x you smut#x reader smut#xposted to ao3#i wrote this after a nap after playing the game for 4 hours straight and then i had this like dream about it#and i woke up ferally desiring mr crawling like it was insane#i wrote this with possessed and perhaps crazed love#i am very normal about fandoms thanks#yapping in tags again i see
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beware of burnout it's so real i'm afraid
also bc ended up making my writing into a font to avoid killing my hand as much and bc I saw Caden do this, I thought it would be fun to see who y'all think it suits lol
#trust me i am working my way out of it lol#dndads#dungeons and daddies#normal oak swallows garcia#hermie the unworthy#oakworthy#once again i find them really funny being so dysfunctional#and no there is no step prior to the inevitable breakup it just happens#this is just how they are throughout college (they do not talk post graduation the reunion is the 1st time they see each other in years)#lincoln li wilson#taylor swift dndads#hero oak swallows garcia#ik i didnt write out like every character i could have but i was distracted by giving my brother impromptu sewing lessons#i didn't expect that to happen he just kinda showed up like 'I know you'd love to help me with something' like who told you that??#my artwork#edit: I wrote reignite wrong are you kidding me dugjxghshzs it was 4 am oh well
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I’ve encountered a few on AO3 but I too am desperate for more Gojo fics anywhere 😭 if you have any recommendations too please I beg give some to meee 😭😭
Ohhh yesss ive got quite a few! Also, please look out for the content warnings!
Series
Sincerely not by saintobios (arranged marriage, modern au) (read this yrs ago so i cant remember much but i do remember crying at 10 pm in the kitchen while reading this)
Sundered by tojikai (baby daddy gojo, modern au)( made me sob )
Kintsugi by NoahLaval (arranged marriage, enemies to lovers, gojo x oc) (I love this! made me cry a lot, like really..)
No Cure by Tawus (enemies to lovers, reader is a curse user)
Exposure therapy by seoafin (angst, reader is in the same year as sashisu, au where toji became a teacher, also a geto/reader, but shoko is the endgame)(you should check out their other works too!)
Monster Hospital by mushmoon12 (enemies/rivals to lovers, lots of smut)
intrinsic warmth by thatdesklamp (angst, childhood friends to lovers)(yeah...)
Cursed Love by maespaces (angst, reader is a not a jujutsu sorcerer )(i forgot to add this!😭😭😭 but srsly tho rllylove this one, vry well written! im still reading it but u can tell ure in for a bumpy ride🥹)
Oneshots
Grey Cashmere by vagabond-umlaut (angst with a happy end, set during hidden inventory, reader is in the same year as sashisu)(one of my all time faves!!! its also part of a series but can be read as a standalone!)
an unwanted letter by piichuu (angst, post ch 236?ig?)(i read this during class... i just hope my classmates didnt see me cry)
Others. (I have not read this yet but ive been keeping an eye on it! Thought i might share as well)
Infidelity by tawus (angst, gojo and reader are married)
one day, three autumns by vagabond-umlaut (arranged marriage)
Minazuki by quirklessidiot (enemies to lovers, arranged marriage)
Devoted by aerinth (angst, friends to lovers)(also a geto/reader)
the color yellow by rhydonium (angst, hanahaki disease)(also a geto/reader)
Bonus!
Abalone on the shore by unolvrs (I dont rlly read much toji fics but this one made me sob on a morning! You'll need tissues for this one ig...😞)
#i wrote this one at 4 am so if theres anything wrong with the links pls do tell!#theres actually a lot more but i forgot some of the tittle.... :(#can u tell that i love arranged marriage with gojo? lmaooo#writing this instead of writing my essay...#fic recs#gojo x reader#yuna.incs#angst lots of angst#only listed enemies/rivals/lovers and angsts here
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caught
✢ you get lost in the woods. A certain ghoul finds you and takes what he craves.
✢ pairing: Swiss x reader (f)
✢ genre: smut
✢ warnings: CNC, breeding kink, primal play, creampie, knotting, rough, biting, blood, hunting, dirty talk, dry humping, almost no foreplay, 1 spank, aftercare
✢ a/n: cnc is consensual non-con. A roleplay. Both Swiss and reader have given consent beforehand in this, even though I’m not going to write it out. Read this at your own risk, know your limits! <3
You could hear your heartbeat in your ears as you rushed through the overgrown forest. Thorns and leaves whipping your legs until they were scratched up and bloody. Your clothes had been torn at the back from the first time the ghoul had almost caught you.
It all had started this morning when you were tasked by Copia to forage for some herbs Mountain had requested. He wanted to go collect them himself, like he normally would, but the ghouls’ heats were approaching and Copia didn’t want to risk the possiblity of it hitting right as Mountain was away from the abbey. For the sake of their safety (and the safety of the siblings) the ghouls were normally locked into their den for the duration of their heats. It worked best for everyone involved and the ghouls didn’t mind, as long as they got to work everything out of their system. It also helped calm them, knowing that noone would enter their territory and destroy their nests.
You had collected two baskets full of yarrow by the time the sun had begun to set. Mountain had told you about them being useful against fevers, something that the ghouls sometimes had to deal with during their heats. So you had carefully plucked as many of them as you could, placing them into the woven baskets neatly.
Satisfied with your work you decided that it was time to return to the abbey to deliver the herbs. You knew they needed to be prepared right away or they would spoil, so you tried to be quick. Stumbling through the thick overgrowth, following the slim path you thought you recognized, you realized that you didn’t seem to get any closer to the abbey. You hadn’t walked that far into the forest, had you? You should have been able to see the buildings by now. You stopped walking for a second, turning around to watch where you had come from. Should you turn back? You shook your head as you decided against it. Surely you would reach the edge of the forest soon, you just had to keep walking. So you continued following the tiny path, not noticing how it grew slimmer and slimmer until it wasn’t a path at all; only grass and bushes.
It had gotten significantly darker now, crickets were starting to fill the silence as the last sun rays snuck their way through the trees. You felt yourself slow down, not sure what you were supposed to do now. No matter which way you’d go, you wouldn’t reach the abbey before it was completely dark outside, that was for sure.
You stopped walking again, listening to the birds sing their final songs of the day in the distance. A loud snap made you whirl around quickly, the fragile plants almost falling out of the baskets. But as you tried to see what had caused the sound, your eyes struggled. It was too dark already, not even squinting worked. You held your breath waiting for another sound. Another snap - this time closer - made you back up a little.
“Hello?”, you called out into the night.
Suddenly a silver glimmer caught your eye and you watched as the dark figure of a ghoul stalked towards you. Its eyes were locked on you. Didn’t it see that you had noticed it? You were staring directly at it. With its superior vision, it should have been able to see that. But it kept approaching, slowly and predatory.
You wanted to feel relieved that one of the ghouls had found you, be relieved that it would lead you back to the abbey. But the way the creature was stalking you, like it would stalk its prey, sent shivers down your spine. The ghouls weren’t supposed to be out here anymore. They all were supposed to be at the abbey, preparing for their heats. A ghoul being out here could only mean trouble.
You started backing up slowly, setting one foot behind the other, never removing your gaze from the still approaching creature.
You must have stepped on a twig, because something snapped under your foot and created a loud sound that echoed through the forest. The sudden sound triggered the ghoul to pounce, sprinting towards you. You dropped the baskets immediately, herbs falling to the ground gracelessly.
And then you started running as well.
If this was a ghoul in heat it would mean one thing and one thing only; you had to get away from it at all costs.
You ran as fast as you possibly could, but the footsteps behind you grew closer with each stride. There was no use in trying to out-run a ghoul. They would always catch up to you eventually. This was most likely a game to it, its hunting instinct triggered now that you had started running away from it. It didn’t take long before you could feel claws graze your back with a swift swipe. The sharp claws dug into the fabric of your clothes, ripping the back of them open. You stumbled slightly as you were pulled backwards by the force of it. With all the strength you had, you pushed yourself forwards again, tearing yourself free from the grip the demon had on the fabric. It glowled low in its throat as you managed to free yourself.
Adrenaline rushed through you again, the waves of it hot under your skin. Your legs were screaming at you to stop but you kept on pushing forwards, increasing the distance between you and the demon.
And that’s where you were now; stumbling through the thick vegetation, legs cut open and bleeding.
You didn’t hear the ghoul’s footsteps anymore, and for a moment you felt safe. You slowed down slightly, not quite daring to stop completely, though. Maybe the ghoul had lost your trace? It was unlikely but as you looked behind yourself, there was no sight of it.
Your steps slowed down further until you were walking. Maybe it had given up after chasing you around the woods for so long. Perhaps it deemed you to be too much of a pain in the ass to persue any further, and decided to find an easier target. Or maybe-
A yelp was ripped from your throat as your front hit the mossy ground. You landed softly but the fall still managed to knock the wind out of you, especially because something - or someone - had collapsed on top of you.
You felt yourself being pushed into the ground forcefully and your adrenaline spiked again. But this time you couldn’t run.
You couldn’t see exactly what had knocked you down but you didn’t need to look to know that it was the ghoul. It snarled and panted above you, one clawed hand had grabbed the back of your throat, pushing your face down. You tried to struggle out of its grasp but it was too strong.
“Thought you could get away this easily? Pathetic.”
Swiss.
You froze as you heard his voice, so close to your ear it sent a shiver down your spine. His full weight was on top of you, pinning you down, and as he shifted to get an even better grip, you felt something.
You nearly choked as you felt his erection press against your ass. With renewed vigor you tried to push him off of you, get away from him, but your struggling only seemed to excite him even more. His hips pressed into your behind harder, making you feel the outline of him. With a whimper you collapsed onto the ground again, boneless. The multi ghoul let out a breathy “fuck” as he ground his hips into you.
“I followed you through the entire forest. Fuck-... followed your scent and knew I had to have you. Had to breed that little cunt of yours. And look at you now; all ready for me to have.”, he panted into your ear, his hot breath fanning across the side of your face. You felt your stomach drop at his words, fear replacing the adrenaline in your veins.
“And you’re going to be a good little bitch and take it. Take everything I give you.”
A loud rip echoed through the otherwise quiet forest as one clawed finger tore through the fabric of your clothes. He didn’t take his time, removing the scraps unceremoniously - rushed. The forest air felt cold on your skin and you errupted in goosebumps. The ghoul seemed to like that, a smirk on his lips as he dipped down to lick up your spine from the base to your neck, where he was still holding you down firmly like a misbehaving dog. You took a chance and pushed yourself up again, catching the ghoul off guard. He scrambled after you with a low growl, one of his big hands catching one of your ankles and dragging you backwards towards him. You kicked your other leg in his direction but he easily caught it as well.
With both ankles in his claws, he turned you around forcefully, your front now exposed to his piercing gaze. His eyes seemed crazed as they scanned your face, then your chest, and finally your exposed crotch. You wanted to close your legs, to hide your naked form from him, but he forced your ankles apart further, squeezing his narrow hips between your thighs. His chest was heaving as he panted. You could feel the heat from his body through his clothes.
You had seen the ghouls in heat before, and this was exactly like it. The heightened body temperature, the piercing gaze, the overtaking of instincts. Swiss was not thinking clearly. He was truly and utterly ghoul in this moment.
As if on cue, the multi ghoul ground his hips into your core, making you gasp. You could see his hard cock strain against the front of his pants and you swallowed thickly. He let go of your ankles in favor of one of his hands supporting his weight next to your head while the other hand trailed down your body to your core. You writhed under him, trying to move away from his touch, but there was nowhere for you to go with the ghoul surrounding you completely.
He leaned down further, his fangs ghosting over the skin of your throat. And suddenly he bit down, his thumb finding your clit at the same time. You cried out at the sensation. His bite felt like a shard of ice, the pain gradually dulling down until it was only a light throbbing. He released the tender skin, licking it with a forked tongue. You didn’t know if he had drawn blood or not, but he let out a satisfied grunt as he looked at the bruise.
His thumb was still teasing your clit, pushing down harder before barely making contact. Your hands tried to grab at his arms, push him away but he wouldn’t budge. As he pressed down harder a breath escaped you, your hips bucking upwards slightly. The multi ghoul almost came in his pants right then and there.
“Shit, I’m gonna fuck you so good.”, he very near whined as his hands started working on the front of his pants. His hard cock sprang out immediately as he pushed his pants down just enough for him to be able to grab himself fully. You watched with wide eyes as Swiss fucked into his fist a few times. His head thrown back in pleasure.
After a few more thrusts he grabbed himself tightly, placing the head of his dick against your entrance and pushing in. You yelped as you felt yourself being stretched open by him, but it was slow. Swiss growled with impatience, pulling out roughly before letting a trail of spit fall from his lips onto your core. He spread the wetness with his tip, gliding from your entrance to your clit and back down. He positioned himself again and pushed his hips fowards roughly, earning himself another yelp from you. He started off with an unforgiving pace right away, his hips slamming into yours with such a force it rocked you upwards slightly. Your head was spinning and you couldn’t help yourself as you grabbed Swiss’ back to steady yourself somewhat.
The multi ghoul let out lewd groans and curses as he kept fucking into you as if his life depended on it. His hands grabbed your hips, pulling them towards himself every time his hips pushed forwards.
He began panting again, his eyes sharp as he watched his dick disappear into your body over and over again.
“Knew this pussy would take my cock so well. Mmh fuck-”
He grabbed you harder before shoving you off his dick, turning you around again so that you were on your hands and knees before him. With a strong hand he pushed your head down, your neck straining uncomfortably with the new position. With the new position your ass was exposed to him like you were a bitch in heat and you could feel your face heat up at the thought.
Without a warning his palm came down hard on your ass cheek. Tears stung in your eyes as he entered you again, his claws grabbing your hips with such a force you knew they would leave bruises. He picked up the pace again, his thrusts hard and fast as he used your body for his pleasure. Your face was rocked into the ground with each thrust, the smell of wet moss filling your nose.
“Shit, sweetheart. I’m going to breed you, fill you up with my cum and leave you dripping for days.”
You clenched around him involuntarily, a high pitched whine leaving your lips. “You like that? Hm? Like the idea of me filling you to the brim and then leaving you to drip my good stuff all over the forest as you make your way back to the abbey?”
One of his hands let go of your hip and trailed around to your front to find your clitoris again. As his skilled fingers started stroking the sensetive bundle of nerves, you felt your mind go blank for a second.
Swiss grunted as you clenched down on him again, lost in the pleasure.
“Fuck- but before that, I’m going to stuff you with my knot. Make you come around it.”
Your eyes fluttered shut as you felt the pleasure building in your lower stomach. His fingers were working your clit in fast circles and his thick cock hit all the right places inside of you. You were so fucking close to cumming all over him.
Swiss was close too. You could tell by the way he muttered out dirty words that were too unintelligible for you to understand, his hips snapping wildly into you.
“Cum on my dick. Be a good little breeding bitch and come on my cock.”
You cried out as your orgasm washed over you, your walls clenching down tightly on the multi ghoul’s cock. He groaned and moaned as you shook from the pleasure. And with a few more thrusts he pushed into you fully, his knot stretching you even further until it popped in, securing Swiss to your backside. You could feel his cock twitching inside of you, filling you with his hot cum, spurt after spurt. He shivered as his front collapsed onto your back. His lips pressed tiny kisses between your shoulder blades, his fangs nipping gently along the way.
It took some time for the multi ghoul to catch himself. Once he had given you every last drop of his cum, he slumped back slightly, making you wince as his still swollen knot caught on your entrance. Swiss was quick to correct his posture as not to cause you any more discomfort.
“Are you alright?”, he asked as he moved to lay the two of you down on your sides so you were spooning, careful to not move his hips too much.
“Yeah, just a bit tired from all the running.”
“If it was the running that made you tired, I didn’t do a good enough job just now.”, the tall ghoul joked as he nuzzled his face into your neck, licking the purple bruise there.
“Are you sure you’re not hurt? Did you enjoy yourself?”, Swiss asked with a whisper, his hands caressing your side tenderly.
“I’m sure. Don’t worry, love. And yes, of course I enjoyed myself. I always do.”, you answered, your hand grabbing his at your side and moving it to your lips so you could kiss it. Swiss melted behind you, snuggling himself closer to your body.
“But I just have to ask”, you began, playing with his fingers gently, “What were you doing out here? I thought you were going to start your heat?”
Swiss shook his head, giving you a toothy grin, “No, not yet. We were worried about you being gone for so long, so they sent me to find you. I still have a few more days before my heat starts. Mountain is already going through it though, so I guess it was a good idea to send you foraging.” He leaned in closer, kissing your shoulder. “It also gave me the opportunity for our little romp just now.”. You laughed as you hit his leg playfully.
“We should probably get back soon though, before they start sending out other ghouls to look for us.”, he huffed out, moving his hips to pull out of you. His knot still caught at your entrance but with a bit of manuvering he managed to pull out completely without hurting you. His cum immediately started dripping out of you and he watched with half lidded eyes as the sticky white substance trailed down your leg.
“I would love to get you cleaned up, darlin’, but I think I like this sight way too much.”
You huffed out a weak laugh as you got up, searching for your clothes, or what was left of them anyway. You held up your ruined clothes and Swiss ducked away. “Sorry. I might have gotten a bit carried away. But the chase really riled me up, you know?.”, he explained sheepishly and you chuckled. Swiss removed his jacket for you to wear. Thankfully it was quite large on you, so it covered your butt well enough.
He grabbed your waist tenderly, pulling you close to his body so he could place a kiss on your lips. You melted against him as he held you for a moment. After a minute or two you two seperated and a toothy grin spread across Swiss’ masked face.
“I can’t believe you got lost.”, he teased you. Your face felt hot suddenly.
“Well, you try to navigate through the forest with shitty human senses! Also, you made me spill all of the herbs. We will have to go find them now.”
“You didn’t have to drop them you know. Could have put them aside gently.”
“Shut up, Swiss.”
#I wrote this at 4 am its not gonna make sense#Swiss ghoul#Swiss x reader#Swiss ghoul x reader#smut#swiss smut#ghost bc#the band ghost#ghost band#ghost fanfiction#nameless ghouls#the nameless ghouls#ghouls#ghouls ghost#mountain ghoul#phantom ghoul#dewdrop ghoul#rain ghoul#Swiss#Swiss ghost#swiss army ghoul#sodo#multi ghoul
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Zoro and Sanji's devotion to Luffy is fundamentally different in the sense that:
Zoro considers Luffy to be this sort of deity to him because he has never believed in anything, not before Luffy appeared in his life and gave him a future and a life to share while he tries to fulfill his dream. They're both kings. Equals. Zoro would go to hell and back (and has) for Luffy and would give his life for him because he has given him something bigger than his own original dream. And he worships Luffy but in a way in which both of them win because Luffy wants to devour him and Zoro wants to be consumed by him.
Sanji follows Luffy with so much dependence it would be worrisome, if it wasn't because Luffy is basically the same. Call it codependency if you want. But despite sharing the same wish for not wanting to be separated and the fear of losing each other, Sanji seems to offer his life and persona to Luffy in a way that might as well could be just Sanji giving him his heart on a platter. Sanji used to base the value of his life on not being like the Vinsmokes, but now hay he can't say that, he does that thing valuing himself as Luffy's cook.
The thing is: Zoro gives and takes. Worships and is worshipped back by a king and a god, being a king himself too. While Sanji gives and gives and refuses to take because he thinks his whole existence is to serve. Their whole lives revolve around Luffy, yes, but not in the same way.
#sorry it's 4 am and i'm eepy and i can't make this long but tell me you understand#i am seriously fallinf asleep writing this lmaoo#i have no idea what i wrote#goodnight#one piece#black leg sanji#roronoa zoro#monkey d. luffy#monster trio#zosanlu#lusan#zolu
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: ̗̀➛ Straight to the point.
In which he's still human.
Summary: Everyone has something in the back of their mind, something that terrifies them to the core, something that keeps them up at night. Sebastian is no different. Luckily for him, he already has someone to hold him and reassure him.
Notes: Established Relationships, Reader is gender neutral, Sebastian's Backstory Spoilers (not really),He is not a fish yet, wrote this at 4 am, unhealthy amount of fluff, idk what im doing, Sebastian is a menace, this is a literal word vomit. Enjoy ..!
The squeaky creak of the wooden bed and the slight shifting next to you jolts you awake, eyes opening to cautiously wander around the room in search of anything, or anyone. You almost close your eyes and go back to sleep at the reassurance that nothing was there, before the sound of the hitched breathing next to you forces you to open your eyes again. You turn to your side, arms subconsciously reaching out for the one laying right next to you. To your surprise, you find him awake already, his softened gaze seemingly on anything but you. You can't see too well in the darkness, but one look at his troubled expression is enough for you to know whats going on. You reach out your hand, slowly placing it on top of his as to not startle him. The moment he registers the slightest touch of your hand against him, his eyes move back on yours. He furrows his eyebrows, huffing slightly.
"...Did I wake you?" He asks, his voice coming off as nothing more than a mere whisper. For the time that you've known Sebastian, you've come to realize that he is never one to outright trouble anyone with his struggles, that includes you. If you want to know anything, you have to fish it out of him. And so you do. You gently squeeze his hand in a comforting manner. "Not really." You respond quietly, inching a bit closer to take a better look at him. "Can't sleep?" You whisper, the close proximity and the way you feel his cold breath sending a slight shiver down your spine. He stays silent, averting his eyes from you. Now, you know all too well what's bothering him.
Your lover has a tendency to often deprive himself of sleep, that resulting in him staying up and contemplating each and every fear he has ever grown to have until he's sure he has suffered himself enough. This, of course, pains you to see. You're well aware you can't undo past traumas, or.. what is yet to come, for that matter. So, for now, you settle for comforting him. You let go of his hand and lean in, arms wrapping around him as you pull him closer. He tenses slightly, before giving in to your touch. As you run your fingers through his hair, he quietly exhales and buries his face into your neck, a hand finding it's way to your waist. He moves his fingers up and down, tracing random shapes on your skin rather anxiously. You're both silent. You, lost in idea of him and him, lost in the idea of losing you. He slightly tenses up again, his hold on you tightening a bit and a hitched breath escaping him. You can tell he has his own thoughts that he runs away from, his fears that keep him up at night and nightmares that he fears for his life. He clutches onto your shirt, the idea of him ever losing you, losing this, losing everything leaves him shivering like he is now. You slowly start to feel something wet against your skin, his tears staining your shirt as he holds onto you for dear life. Needless to say, you're overwhelmed too.
The Sebastian you've learned to love is constantly hiding behind an act of nonchalance and sarcasm, and only now you realize how vulnerable he really is behind all of that. You can only hold him, listen to the sound of his muffled yet soundless sobs against you and whisper sweet nothings. "I'm not going anywhere." You tell him, fingers combing through his hair as your other hand slowly moves up and down on his back, in an attempt to comfort him. He hides his face into your neck even more, in an attempt to muffle his last sobs. Your tender touches, your oh so sweet promises that you'd never leave and your mere presence soothe him like he needs. You're both silent for a bit, neither of you daring to disturb the comfortable silence. He eventually leans back, slightly wet blue-ish green eyes staring into your eyes.
You can tell he is mildly embarrassed, all his attempts at keeping you from witnessing such vulnerable side of him now all wasted and for nothing. And so, he does what he always does. He moves his hands to his face, covering his face with both hands as his shoulder's slightly shake again, because of laughter, this time. The sound of his chuckles disturbs the nights silence. You'd be confused, had it not been for the fact that you're all too familiar with how he tries to laugh his way out of any awkward situation. He finally moves his hands away, his eyes still slightly wet. "You're... such an idiot for dealing with my bullshit. Honestly.." He says, letting out a bitter chuckle. You smile, cupping his face with one hand, your thumb gently carressing his face. "I am.. your idiot, afterall." You whisper, your finger moving to gently wipe away one last tear on his face. He only gazes at you, a gaze that holds the countless words he's been meaning to say. You move your finger, slowly tracing his features, and it moves to the scar in the middle of the face.
The way your finger tenderly brushes against his skin.. He sighs, his hand moving to catch your wrist and guide it out of his face, though he never lets go. He leans in, back to where he was sobbing not too long ago. He pulls you closer, a hand resting on your hip. He nuzzles comfortably into your shoulder, and this time, he presses a slight, delicate kiss on your skin. "I... love you, idiot." He mutters, quietly enough for only you to hear, and no one else. You're the last thing on his mind before he finally passes out, safe and sound in your embrace.
#sebastian solace x reader#sebastian solace#roblox pressure#sebastian pressure#Pressure#Wrote this at 4 am#Im so crazy#sebastian my beloved#Why did i write for a literal FISH#Like wtf#I love him sm#X reader
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Self shippers who have to deal with a lot of aches and pain, whether it’s because you have chronic pain or have a physically demanding job.
Your f/o doesn’t mind helping you. They love you, so of course they’ll help with anything
💛 Cooking your meals
🧡 Running you a hot shower/bath and helping you wash up
💛 Massaging any sore spots
🧡 Applying salonpas and getting you comfy with your heat pad
💛 Keeping track of all your pain medications
They’ll never judge how many chores you can or can’t do, or if you can’t do any chores at all. They adore you, all of you <3
#Self shipping#self ship community#self ship#self ship imagines#safeship#imagines.💕#medical tw#medication tw#Lmao I wrote this at like 4 AM while half asleep#But as someone who struggles myself I hope y’all like it
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ada. (enamour)
fem. reader. love rivalry including ada/reader/leon. (focus on reader)
something cold digs in between your shoulder blades, sending shivers up tense muscles.
it’s a sudden sensation. catches you off guard you forget to call out to leon, whose back is turned to you whilst sifting through paper files laying across an abandoned wooden desk. the latest room you’ve snuck into seemed abandoned enough — save for its open window rocking back and forth on screeching bolts. they must’ve entered through there mere seconds before the two of you did.
warm, sweet breath tickles your earlobe. another round of shivers overtake your senses. this time, through, you recover quickly enough to react.
your hand flies to your pocketed blade and in an instant is pressed up to their throat. it is then you realize, recognize who your company is. she smiles serenely at you, acting like the knife at her neck isn’t sharp enough to slice through bone. she bears her pistol with all the grace of someone who’s caught you in her web, not the other way around.
“long time no see, kitten.”
her deadpan voice practically echoes through the silence of the night. finally surprising your partner into turning around. what surprises him further is the way ada gazes at you, almost identical to the way she did at him all those years ago.
“ada.” leon says plainly, hand hovering over his own pistol. his eyes flicker between the two of you, to the way your hand fumbles with your blade, to how she smiles a little too suggestively for someone being threatened. he’s certain you’re about to push her down, or for her to knock the knife away from your obviously loosened grip — neither happen.
instead, you carefully tuck your blade away and greet her with a coy smile of your own.
“i wasn’t expecting you here, red.” your arms cross, a guard of sorts. you knew full well of the games she liked to play. she holds your eyes as she slips her pistol back in its holster, searching for something you refuse to show. it’s been a long time, indeed, but you still remember how to compose yourself around her. it’s all rather flattering.
ada circles you, trailing her fingertips over your shoulders. her silky touch is the only weapon in her grasp, but it is perhaps her most dangerous. she takes pleasure in the way you shift beneath her watch, how your pretty face fights to remain mild. she’s no fool. she sees the smile playing at those luscious lips of yours — why bother hiding it? she’s all sultry eyes just for you, now that she’s finally managed to separate your stuffy partner’s hip from yours. seems he hadn’t changed after all. he really was the clingy type.
it was cute. once. not when he happened to be clingy with you of all people.
“once i heard you were around, i just couldn’t help myself.” her arm comes to rest around the curve of your waist. her fingers press into the flesh of your hip, easing you closer. her lips hover over the soft of your neck, almost kissing a path up to your ear. your breathing stutters, and she purrs, “wanted to stop by and catch up with my favorite girl, is all.”
you scoff, but there’s no stopping the heat rising up and over your face. those pretty lips of yours finally turn up in a smile, bashful like a schoolgirl crush. the temptation to run her thumb over your bottom lip runs strong — until an awkward, intentional clear of a throat interrupts the thought.
“i’d appreciate if you left my partner alone.” leon interjects, striding to stand tall besides you. in a swift motion he interweaves your elbows together and pulls you towards him, at once halting the hold she had on you. it’s a comfortable, possessive sort of touch. how quaint. cute little leon, still wearing his heart on his sleeve.
given the way his hand clamps around yours, he must really have it bad. what a shame. for him.
ada is slow to drag her eyes away from you. she even runs them up, down, over your lovely body for good measure. she can’t have leon thinking she isn’t willing to compete — two can play at that game. his fuming glower tells her he’s gotten the message loud and clear. as he should. she zeros in on the way his grip tightens around yours, again, cozily touching you as if you were his.
a quirk of her brow suggests ire. “glad to see you, leon. to think, after all this time, you’re still such a lucky man. who would’ve thought she’d end up being your partner?”
the two of them stare each other down with such intensity you wonder what other history they share aside from you. tension seeps into the chill of the nighttime air. leon’s coiled up so tightly it raises worry, and you find yourself wrapping your arms around his bicep to placate him. for all you know, the mysterious plagas infecting him could thrive off stress, and he’s already had plenty of that so far.
almost immediately does your touch have him redirecting his notice towards you. his intense gaze softens at your pretty eyes studying him. his broad shoulders gradually relax in your embrace. he’s visibly calmed by the simple act, much to ada’s amusement — and her vexation. her fingertips dig into her palms, wishing it was your hands beneath them instead.
“ada, why are you really here?” you inquire, and she’s pleased when you finally set sights back on her. she’s not fond of the questioning, however. she purses her lips. her expression morphs into a cautious neutral. you’re aware you won’t be getting a direct answer, no matter how much she likes you.
ada sighs, “oh, sweetheart. you know i don’t work and tell.”
guarded, she saunters to the opposite end of the room to the very window she slithered in through, overlooking the bleak scenery with little interest. you slip past leon to follow after her, grasping her fingers to keep her from going any further. pleasant warmth seeps through from your fingertips to hers. there’s no time to relish it, although she longs to feel more. calculating eyes regard you and you alone.
“leave the girl,” demands ada. “she’s lost no matter what. you walk away now…and who knows? maybe you’ll live to meet me again.”
keeping her eyes locked on yours, she brings your hand to her lips, and presses a languid kiss across your knuckles. a stain of red now marks you as hers. play glimmers in her irises. “…maybe i’ll even take you on that date i promised.”
“you think we’re gonna give up that easy?” leon’s voice cuts in, weighed with barely contained venom.
“right.” ada exhales a laugh. how true. the two of you really are perfect for one another. hearts of gold, heads full of dreams. she turns towards a silently seething leon, whose eyes pierce her every move. he does a poor job at hiding his envious glare towards your entwined hands. “how about we continue this discussion another time?”
she drops your hand unceremoniously, in favor of pressing a kiss to your cheek. the pulse of your racing heart is nearly tangible. such a sweet girl, flustered by a simple kiss. longing parts her lips in their journey up to your ear to whisper, “stay safe, beautiful.” she pulls away with an air of nonchalance, committing to memory the clear look of shock she’s frozen you into. it takes all she has not to go back in for another kiss, for there’s no knowing where her lips will land if she does.
“keep her safe for me, will you, leon? she’s really quite precious, you know.”
and just like that, she’s gone.
you nearly stumble towards the creaking window for a vain glimpse into the night she’s disappeared through. half shocked, half mortified of your audience still gaping at you, you could only hope he wasn’t put off by the instance of his flirty adversary. or the fact you had no quarrels in encouraging her.
a hand wraps around yours, warm and tight.
“careful. leaning out a little too far there, don’t you think?”
leon sounds rather relieved now that it’s back to being the two of you. ada must’ve been a sore sight for whatever reasons he’s held within. you avoid his eyes to recollect yourself, murmuring apologies beneath your breath.
then, a touch upon your cheek, the very one she’d kissed, puts a stop to all thoughts. your eyes flutter up towards leon’s. his usually somber expression has turned sour, scowling and scorned in a way you’re unfamiliar with. his hand cups your face, thumb frantically rubbing off what must be a lipstick stain ada’s left behind. the intensity of his eyes only adds to your embarrassment, makes you wish he hadn’t seen her in the first place. maybe then he wouldn’t be upset, angry with the ghost of her presence.
“here i thought luis would be my only problem.” leon mutters, so softly you’d mistaken he’d spoken at all. when he notices the shift in your pretty eyes, the sweetsoft concern that struck him weak, his gaze mellows instantly, and he blinks rapidly as if coming out of a daze. rose pink springs across his face in a blooming blush, a bigger surprise than his supposed anger. he rips his hand away upon realizing himself, leaving you curious.
“i mean—i meant, she’s the last person i expected to run into here. it’s—it’s a long story. won’t bore you with it. just know she’s probably not worth trusting completely. it’s best you’re careful around her. i’d hate…i wouldn’t want you hurt.”
his voice goes quiet at the end. his head is turned away, body tight and tense, hands fiddling with the holsters of his weapons. it isn’t like leon to speak so personally. so openly about his emotions. and you know it isn’t because of ada’s mere presence, what must be a recollection of the past.
you touch your cheek, still warm from his skin.
“you’re the one i trust, leon. we came here together, and we’re leaving together. i’m with you until the end.”
courage overtakes bashful notions. you close in beside him, reach up to push a lock of his hair behind his ear. cup his shying face, a tender encouragement to share his vulnerability with you. leon’s eyes fall back on yours too easily, too swiftly for a simple friendship. you see it; he is incapable of masking it.
it’s somewhat of an honor he’s so fond of you. it’s a reminder to be gentle with his feelings, though you yourself may not have yours sorted out just yet. but it is ascertained that you care immensely for him, perhaps in the way he’d like you to. perhaps not. there’s plenty of time to work things out.
“i’m with you, ace.” you smile, tugging his cheek until he returns one of his own. “there’s no one else i’d rather have beside me. got it?”
leon nods, convinced. “yeah. thanks.”
you pay a playful pat to his cheek, satisfied with his answer. “good, good. now, why don’t we get moving? we wouldn’t want to keep miss ashley waiting. what were we even looking for in the first place? some kind of key?”
the mention of the mission reinvigorates him. “yeah, exactly. should be somewhere around here, if you can help me look.”
“sure! let’s just hope we can get by without someone interrupting again.”
“wouldn’t that be nice.” scoffs leon, slipping his fingers through yours to lead you back towards the other half of the room. this habit of wanting you close was really too cute. willingly do you allow him to take your hand as he pleases.
all the while you will your heart not to flutter at the lipstick still staining the other, red on red alike.
#resident evil 4 imagines#re4 imagines#resident evil imagines#re imagine#resident evil x reader#re4 x reader#ada wong imagines#ada wong x reader#leon kennedy imagines#leon kennedy imagine#leon kennedy x reader#i’m so glad i finally wrote this LET’S GOOOO#i. am. SICK. so sick of being “jealous” of ada in fics. like…yall see her too right? she’s gorgeous and morally ambiguous right???#so why can’t she flirt with ME?? why be jealous when we can be in LOVE??? why not let her desire ME carnally for once?? leon? i hardly know#anywho. jealous ada + reader fics just don’t mesh w/ me personally!! perhaps because i’m not a naturally jealous person haha#but ada and leon being incredibly jealous of each other + fighting over us though? hell yeah sister
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Lisa Cuddy was not just House's love interest. She was his oldest friend, who knew him like nobody else. He trusted her in his most vulnerable moments and she knew his biggest and deepest insecurities and weaknesses and loved him for everything he was, bad parts and good parts, unconditionally. House wasn't just in love with Cuddy, he had been in love with her since he was in med school. She was THE woman he loved so much he was willing to give up everything he was to be with her. Being a brilliant doctor is all he was, everything he knew and all he had, and when there was a chance to get rid of his pain but it started affecting his skills as a doctor, he immediately gave that chance up in favor of doing what he did best and preserving his skills. But when he was happy with Cuddy and his happiness started to affect his brilliance as a doctor, he WAS willing to give all of it up just to be with her, for a chance of happiness with her. "I need her in my life." "I don't deserve her. I love her". He remembered and noticed every small and big detail about her and was afraid of losing her so much that when he did, it tore him apart. THAT'S how much Gregory house loved Lisa Cuddy and how important and special she was in his life. So people who downplay her importance and place in his life and heart either haven't watched the show at all or watched some other version of HOUSE MD that never aired on tv.
#house md#lisa cuddy#gregory house#huddy#house thoughts#wrote all of this on a 4% phone battery#that's how invested i am lol#text
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In Which the Dread Wolf Is Saved By, of All Things, Love.
The blade slices into his palm, blood seeping from the wound and soaking into the leather of his glove. A thought emerges as she watches him: It is the same hand that once held the mark on her own palm. He squeezes his fist, the blood dripping down onto the stone.
“My life force now sustains the Veil.”
His eyes find hers, a brief moment as their gazes meet and hold. An eternity, over too soon.
“With every breath I take, I will protect the innocent from my past failures.”
Her gaze falls to his fist, and her heart aches. It is done.
“The Titan’s dreams are mad from their imprisonment. I cannot kill the blight, but I can help soothe its anger.”
She watches as he looks down to the dagger, then extends it to Rook.
“I will go,” he says. His eyes meet hers once more as he speaks his last words. To her. For her. “And seek atonement.”
He tears his gaze away, and she watches as he turns, his steps sure and steady as he walks toward the tear in the sky.
They are running out of time.
It is then she makes her decision, though it was no decision at all. She knew—she has always known—what she would do given this choice.
“But you do not have to go alone.”
He had stopped before she spoke, perhaps hearing the fall of her steps, perhaps in the hope of one final goodbye. He turns as she finishes her declaration, his lips parted in surprise, but he clasps her hands as she stretches them towards him. His grip trembles ever so slightly. She notices the shine in his eyes as tears well, but he does not deny her. He only offers her a warning. It is the only thing he can offer her.
“Where I am going is terrible.”
She smiles, shakes her shake.
“It won’t be terrible if you’re with me. We make this journey together. Always.”
The words are reminiscent of the last verse of Dalish wedding vows. She wonders if he catches the significance, but by the way his grip tightens, she suspects he understands.
She leans in, but then stops, waiting for him to close the last stretch of space between them. His lips meet hers without hesitation, cracked and bloody as they are. She doesn’t care. He tastes of iron and ash, and yet still of him.
His mouth moves against hers, and she wishes to wrap her arms around him, to pull him close, but she fears causing him any further pain. She has seen the wounds on his face, saw him clutching at his right side as he ascended the steps before she crossed the threshold. She can only imagine the wounds hidden beneath his battered armor. She had glimpsed the state of his dread wolf as it tore the throat out of Elgar’nan’s archdemon.
There will be time for such things later, after he has rested and healed. Time will never be something they are in want of now.
***
He savors her for as long as he dares, then presses his lips firmly against hers before pulling away. His mouth curves into a soft smile. Just for her.
There is no force—divine or otherwise—that can part him from her now. Not unless she wishes it.
He holds her gaze for one more moment, the burn of tears still threatening to spill sting his eyes. But he blinks them away quickly, and glances back at Rook.
“Thank you, Rook.”
Then his eyes fall back to her. He cannot get enough.
He is not unaware that Rook had to have had a part to play in this once-thought impossible reunion.
There will never be words or action enough to show his gratitude, especially to someone he has so gravely wronged. And yet, they still have orchestrated the return of his heart to him. A gift he knows he does not deserve, but he will endeavor to earn.
He squeezes her hands once more—one flesh, one formed—and turns, walking towards the last remaining tear in the Veil. He crosses his hands before him to keep from reaching out, reaching back to hold her to him. She must make this choice freely.
He doesn’t even dare look, afraid if he does, he will find no one and nothing. That these last few minutes have all been a dream conjured by his addled mind and his bone-deep exhaustion—for what else could it be but a dream? That, after all this time, after everything he’s done, she would seek him out once more. That she would forgive him. Love him still. Choose to be with him, despite where he must go.
There is a moment where he fears she has changed her mind, or he was correct in his first assumption that she was never here at all. His chest tightens… and then releases as he feels her hand rest upon his shoulder. She is here. She is real.
With the last ounce of strength he has, he wraps them in his magic and spirits them into the Fade, leaving her world behind. Perhaps for good.
He took away her ability to choose once, many years ago, when she first asked to join him while standing in the Crossroads. It had torn him in two to deny her, but he knew then that he could not allow her to follow the path he had to tread. Could not allow it to twist her hope into despair, like his own purpose had been twisted long ago.
For so long, his life has only been duty and destruction. He is unsure of how to be anything else.
When he finds himself once again in the prison of his own making, his knees give out from under him. The weight of the last few hours, few weeks, few years, dragging him to the hard unforgiving stone of his regrets. But this time, he is not alone.
She kneels before him, carefully cradling his face in her palm, her skin so warm against his. “Vhenan,” she whispers as her thumb strokes lightly over his cheek, and it takes him a moment to realize he is crying, truly crying. The tears that had threatened to fall when he first took her hands in his have now been set free. He crumples into her lap, his forehead pressed the against her stomach as she gently strokes his head and down his back, offering words of comfort, her voice thick with her own tears. She has saved him. He has doomed her.
The weight of that realization is enough to crush him to dust. He pulls back, eyes searching hers. His hands shake as he reaches up to hold her face. Perhaps there is still time…
“These are my burdens to bare,” he rasps. “I cannot ask you to carry them with me.”
“You do not have to, vhenan.” She holds his hand to her cheek. “I chose this. Freely. Just as I chose you.”
She presses a kiss to the heel of his hand, the one still wet with his blood. “Being with you is no burden, Solas, not to me. It is a joy.”
Their foreheads meet, pressed together as they once again take each other’s hands.
She is here. She is real. He still cannot believe it.
“Ar lath ma, vhenan.”
Then he says the words she had gifted him, a vow he will hold sacred for as long as they both shall live.
“Vir shiral malasa. Bellanaris.”
#Solas#solavellan#dragon age#i wrote this at 4 am mumbling into my notes app#I couldn’t sleep unless I got it out
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I was re-watching some highlights and clips from season 5 and I keep forgetting how brutal Jouno’s death is. Told he was only taken in by Fukuchi because Fukuchi never really believed in him at all. All his escape exits blocked as he clearly tries to hide his growing worry. His particles set on fire. Stabbed all over his body all at once. Bitten and restrained and carted off somewhere. And all of this, all of it, catalyzed because Jouno really had changed for the better. Because he did care, and Fukuchi gravely misunderstood him.
And man. Tecchou forgetting himself. Something’s wrong and he knows it. Tecchou turning violent without valid resistance which goes against his method of justice. Tecchou placing Jouno above justice, which for Tecchou, to whom justice is central to his honour and character, is tantamount to placing him above all else. Tecchou, the one person who repeatedly shows no fear of Jouno, the only one who vouches for his true character as someone who seeks justice also. Who was probably a major instigator of Jouno’s steady change. Who would understand Jouno’s choice to confront evil for the sake of justice at the risk of his own life better than anyone… but who still prioritized him over all else anyways. The sheer desperation of knowing something’s wrong with the person you know best, know everyone gets all wrong… but you don’t know if he’s safe right now. You can’t get to him.
Since I refuse to believe Jouno is actually dead: Asagiri, their reunion, when Tecchou gets to see Jouno is okay and the kind of person he’s become and Jouno realizes that there is someone who cares for him enough to throw everything aside but will still return to himself in the end… it better be something really special. They deserve it.
#hey hey I wrote this at 4 am#please excuse any typos or misinformation. you can tell me if I messed up anything just be polite#bsd#bsd season 5#bsd jouno#bsd tecchou#suegiku#storyrambles
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skully who r u [fae skully + a ramble on his possible background]
we have less than a day before we get the ending for this event and IM. NOT READY. im not ready to hear about how skully is a person from the past (and we're thinking 200 years or so), nor am i ready to go back to twst to hear that he's dead in our time and he's really the founder of modern halloween that nrc celebrates
... that's assuming he's human tho
and fortunately or unfortunately, there's hints that twst has been dropping that leads us to think otherwise
firstly: ears WHERE
in his live2D, you dont get to see his ears At All. not even a hint of an ear lobe. we know twst to be very detailed and deliberate with their designs so why did they choose to hide his ears
in his illustration, u can see a hint of an earlobe, but it's still very much covered
and as we know, when we look at malleus and lilia ears, we Know that they have pointy ears marking their pure fae ancestry. soooo skully..????? 🤨 fae skully real?????
i partly market the fae skully agenda bc PLS. WHAT IF... MEET . . .. .. IN OUR TIME. .. .. .. .... . PLS... . ... . .. . ..... 🥺 WE SEE HIM ALIVE BUT A LIL OLDER AND WAUGHHHHHHHHHHHHH pls i cant handle this yall
secondly: there is still that part in Episode 1-4 of skully saying to us "moshi... ne, moshi" instead of "moshimoshi", and a lot of ppl shared that the belief of supernatural beings not being able to address someone more than once is at play here. which would at least indicate to us that skully is at least not ur regular human being. and that is one thing about skully that we Can be sure about
on what skully may be, myonmyon put out a thread about how skully may be at least inspired by the Fear Gorta, a fae whose folklore was created from the irish famine. it's characterized by a skeletal appearance who wears tatters and rags. it can be benevolent or malevolent, but if u treat it kindly, it will bestow good blessings upon you. Fear Gorta also refers to Hungry Grass, which, if one steps on a cursed patch of grass (which i assume the fae created), they will always be hungry, no matter how much they eat, and will eventually die from starvation
ok why the irish famine? myonmyon and a few other theorists on twitter have speculated on skully possibly being inspired by (or maybe even being the twst equivalent of) the irish immigrants who moved to america, and from there, the tradition of halloween spread, resulting in the modern halloween that we know of today. it makes sense too given skully's character of spreading halloween to his fellow peers, who don't know what halloween is
oh but i don't mean to end this post here, no not yet. because there's a really interesting thread that i also found by Y_wwwsomething about how skully even got his viewpoint of halloween. i do like this thread because they kinda argue against skully's halloween being based on samhain, which a lot of people initially thought that that was his halloween. but samhain, even if it does have its scary side, is still a festival with feasting and noise, still very unlike skully's halloween. if anything, they suggested that the briar valley halloween is much closer to samhain.
my personal conclusion was that skully's halloween is based on all hallow's eve, and he's from a catholic family who celebrates halloween in a solemn manner. however, this thread is suggesting that skully idolizes the victorian british gentlemen and consequently the victorian halloween
let's look into the victorian halloween first. we note that the victorian halloween that was celebrated was often done by the upper class. several online sources will tell you that their halloween parties is, funnily enough, purposed for matchmaking. many halloween games involved girls looking into their futures, whether it's eating apples at midnight while looking at the mirror or looking at whatever object is in their apple or cake to see if they'll marry or die alone. halloween for them is less focused on fright and more on lover's passion.
however! their halloween parties are also dramatic in that they turn off the lights and only leave candles on, and when they greet guests, it's either by putting their own hand on the guest's shoulder or a glove filled with sawdust.
so we could have a situation here where skully, just like jack with christmas, may have observed one (1) party and misunderstood the victorian halloween, taking from it only the scary aspect and mixing it with any prior beliefs he may have had. it doesn't yet explain why he spent halloween alone, and tbh the catholic halloween celebration alone is already a near exact match of skully's definition of halloween, so im not very on board with this. could be that they are also loose enough to be festive? but im not sure
but im very interested about skully's possible reverence for the british gentlemen, which inspired his love for jack skellington! in the victorian era, they were defined by their birth (so if they were born to aristocratic parents), but men could also make themselves into gentlemen by growing their wealth and influence. some men have occupations that are respected enough to call them gentlemen (i.e. army members, members of the parliament). eventually the definition of a gentleman is one who received education from certain elite universities, but this is towards the end of the victorian era, so when trying to become a gentleman back then, it was much harder. so of course men tried to climb to become gentlemen. charles dickens actually wished to be recognized as a gentleman and so he wrote about it in great expectations.
and this is what interests me: during the irish famine, it's noted that british rule still stood on ireland, and if anything, the british elite even worsened the irish famine as they controlled trade between them. irish goods were exported out to britain and other countries while the people had nearly nothing, which either killed them off or pushed them to migrate. interestingly, british penal laws had it that irish catholics especially were suppressed—among their laws included that their land and home were confiscated by the british parliamentary officials in ireland
so what am i trying to get at here? it's that there's probably a nonzero chance that skully looked up to the gentlemen of britain... or if we're thinking in twst terms, the gentlemen of the queendom of roses. and this may be influenced by whatever was going on in his hometown, whether it's something akin to the irish famine and colonization or something else. a desire to be free? a desire to be more than what he is right now? it would very much be similar to sally and jack: sally, in how she wanted to be free from dr. finkelstein's controlling parenting, and jack in how he wanted to not just be the pumpkin king and tried to take over christmas. it also sort of mirrors leona's and jamil's desires for themselves too, how they want to be free to do the things they want to do and make an impact around them
what's even yummier is considering that if skully is a fae, or at least a nonhuman creature that has a distinctive ear shape, then he might take shame in his fae nature as he may perceive that the ideal gentleman is a human, which is similar to how sebek takes shame in his human nature. hence, his ears would be covered by his hair in order to hide this and mingle among the gentlemen.
anyway. idk how i went from "skully is a fae" to "skully is probably an irish catholic suppressed by the british colonial rule and wants to social climb hence he looks up to the ideal british gentleman, sees jack skellington in that image, and aims to be like that so that he can make something out of himself" but we ball ig
anyway, im cooked for tomorrow, im not ready yall :(
#twisted wonderland#twst#twst jp#skully j graves#twst theory#im cooking yall I SWEAR#I SPENT 4 HOURS RESEARCHING ABOUT THE HISTORY OF IRISH FAMINE AND BRITISH RULE AND VICTORIAN HALLOWEEN#NOW I AM AWARE OF CHARLES DICKENS' GREAT EXPECTATIONS AND WHY HE WROTE IT#IM SUPPOSED TO BE RESEARCHING OTHER THINGS NOT VICTORIAN GENTRY#anyway WHY DID I PUT EFFORT INTO THIS THE BACKSTORY'S PROBS GONNA BE LIKE “my parents were too controlling boohoo :((”#im normal guys i swear im normal about skully#(me when i lie)
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batboys chaos types/vibes/idk according to Me
Dick: It was an "accident" ;P
Tim: *sleep-deprived caffeine gremlin chaos intensifies* *background sounds of explosions*
Jason: Causing problems on purpose (*also accompanied by explosions*)
Damian: Fuck you in particular
#i'm on a batfam/dc kick rn#don't ask why jason is after tim i wrote this down at 4 am#and then decided to share when i found it#dc#dc comics#batman#batfamily#batkids#dick grayson#nightwing#jason todd#red hood#tim drake#red robin#damian wayne#robin#my favorite fanfic arcs with tim and jason are just them getting along and blowing things up#aka the Middle Children Unionize types as i named them in my head
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Not in the Routine
Featuring; Nanami Kento x GN!Coworker! Reader
Rating; SFW (no content warnings)
Other Notes; fluff, strangers-to-friends-to-lovers, mutual pining, Gojo shows up once to pester Nanami, there are two coworkers that I needed to give names, but I hope you also enjoy them
Word Count; 4.5K
Link to Masterlist
Stability was something that you always had craved, like a moth to flame.
Safe choices. Predictable. Mundane.
That’s something that drew you to white collar work — a financial accountant for your current company. It was predictable. You had the same routine every day.
Had the same routine. But now that routine, one that you had for slightly over two years now, was thrown into disarray by the company being bought out and merged with its competitor.
At least you were allowed to transfer and still had your job. But still, you had your routine. You had your desk setup just how you liked, plus you got the lucky straw at your former office by having a window nearby. Now though, you were in an office full of strangers — and while, yes, you hadn’t formed many deep friendships at your old work place, you knew their faces — unfamiliar faces glancing at you from out of their peripheral vision.
There were few open desks, none with a window seat, and even fewer where there both sides were unoccupied.
Your eyes scanned the room, looking for a seat that didn’t feel as nearly claustrophobic. Unfortunately, that only left you with one option.
Placing your paperwork and few belongings on the desk, you lowkey dread the expected small talk from your new neighbour, but the blond man beside you didn’t even look up from his work.
As you sat down, you looked out of the corner of your eye to see if he would notice and acknowledge you, to which he didn’t. He definitely knew someone had decided to occupy the once vacant desk next to him, but Nanami K. (courtesy of the miniscule name plate on his desk) decided to continue on.
You paid no mind to it though and silently breathed a sigh of relief. There was no ‘Nice weather we’re having?’ or anything of the sort. And while, yes, you could feel that there was some sort of tension, it wasn’t consumingly awkward, more so that he now had someone closer to his personal space. You wheeled your chair a tad to the left, giving him a few more centimetres of space.
Loosening your wrists, you got to work organising the documents you were given to work on, and placed your miniscule box of allowed personal items into the built-in storage compartment of the desk.
Most of it was the usual, but there was a fair amount of it. By your estimates, this ‘test run’ of assessing your abilities would take about a week. So, opening a spreadsheet, you started working away.
Why financial accounting? Some of the people in your graduating class of high school had asked you. Boring! Others had said. But you knew then that there would be some sort of demand for that sort of job, despite the rise of technology that can help in that sector. It wasn’t romantic. It wasn’t exciting. But it provided. It allows you to separate your professional and personal life.
You had just about finished the first page of the paperwork when the man beside you got up. He hadn’t moved much since you had sat down earlier that morning where you almost forgot that he was even there.
Looking at the clock, you blinked in realisation.
It was lunch time, right on the dot.
You cleared your throat, the expected introduction making its way up through your vocal chords, the memorized monologue a bit rusty. But before you could even say ‘Hello’, your desk neighbour was already walking towards the door, leaving you sitting alone and blinking in mild surprise.
Okay then I guess.
Neverminding him, you stretched out your joints and limbs, the satisfying pop pop pop and burn never got old. Your stomach also growled in protest. Despite changing companies, your lunch was still at the same time, which you were grateful for.
Grabbing your water bottle and lunch bag you made your way to the lunchroom, recalling what your supervisor had said. Third door on the left side of the hall walking out of the office space.
Taking a steadying breath, you opened the door. Surprisingly there weren’t many others there, something else you were grateful for. You could handle about ten people in the space but not thirty or more. But it also made sense, people probably went out to one of the various restaurants and bakeries that you saw on your way in for lunch. But you also saw your desk neighbour, sitting at a table nursing a cup of coffee and keeping to himself.
Ah, so it wasn’t just a me thing… the guy is probably just introverted. You mentally noted, eyes going around the room to find a spot to sit. Nothing personal.
A man and a woman patted at a spot at their table as a quiet invitation, and you strided on over, glad that you didn’t have to stand in the same spot like a fool as you tried to calculate what was deemed as a decent spot.
“So,” the woman said, taking a break from sipping at her drink, “new hire?”
You expected this. “Transfer,” you answered, opening up and laying out your lunch.
She nodded her head before slipping the man next to her some coins. “Damn, lost the bet,” she sighed with a slight laugh.
“I told you,” the man breathed out, pocketing the change into his suit before turning to you. They were both expecting an introduction.
You finally put your practised introduction to use, and your lunch mates nodded.
“Well, I for one hope they keep you,” the man stated — Iwai Hideo —, “I hate crunching numbers. Stuff is tedious and mind numbing.”
The woman — Fukuzawa Chie — elbowed him, not so subtly trying to make him stop talking. “What he actually means is-”
You huffed out a quiet laugh, “It’s fine. I don’t mind doing the … tedious work.” I also hope they keep me. “And seeing the work get done is satisfying in a way.”
“Alright then,” Chie sighed in relief, but still gave Hideo a nasty look.
The rest of lunch was spent in an easy silence, no one feeling like it was awkward and enjoying their hour of food and free time. But when the clock hand struck the hour, Nanami got up and left the room almost immediately whereas everyone else took some time getting back to their desks.
You bidded Chie and Hideo goodbye, they wished you the best of luck at cementing your spot here. They seemed nice, and while you were good with numbers, you weren’t as gifted at dealing with social situations, but they didn’t seem to mind.
You got back to your desk though, and seeing how you had just a few things to go over plus that this paperwork you were working on wasn’t due for some time, you decided to place some of your few personal items. Placing your name plate in the far right corner (you had decided to place it similarly as your desk neighbour), a small desk calendar of some beaches next to your computer, and some stationary in the provided organiser. It wasn’t much, but you may add more later depending on how everything worked out.
Once satisfied, you sat upright and for the first time all day, Nanami was looking at you, not straight out but from the corner of his eye before going back to his work.
It had, what, been six-ish hours? And he had finally made a moment of eye contact and acknowledgment. You then also went back to work, and five minutes to the end of the work day you had finished the first assignment. Closing down your tabs and computer, you started gathering your things.
Once the hand struck the hour, you got up and so did Nanami.
You had turned your chair to the right, and he turned his to the left, leaving you both looking at each other very close.
“... pardon me,” he said, taking a step back, respecting your personal space.
“Sorry,” you offered at the same time, also taking a step back.
The two of you stood there for a moment, until you cleared your throat. “Sorry if I intruded on your space by the way.”
Nanami’s brows furrowed before relaxing, “It’s fine.”
You mentally sighed in relief, you know it was childish, but you were afraid that he would hate you for intruding on his space. “Okay, that’s good to know.”
He nodded in answer, “Well,” he placed his coat on, “have a good night.” And he strode off to the door.
You waited for a moment before placing your coat on and followed suit, not wanting to leave immediately after him.
The first day was done, arguably the most socially draining one, but it went better than expected. You made some acquaintances, your desk was how you liked it, and while yes your desk neighbour was quiet he was also polite and respected your space. All things considered, it went great.
And your routine continued. You and Nanami worked in silence next to each other besides the nod you shared to each other in the morning and when the work day ended. You spent your lunch breaks with Chie and Hideo. You felt comfortable.
Two months into working at the new office and you had finally started to feel more comfortable. Your old routine hadn’t changed as drastically as you thought it would.
Something was different today though, and it shouldn’t have bothered you as much as it did.
Nanami wasn’t in his chair.
Maybe he’s sick. Was what you were trying to tell yourself, but there was something gnawing at you. And apparently, the rest of the office took notice too.
Chie and Hideo took notice of your furrowed brows at lunch, both sharing a glance with each other.
“What’s the storm cloud that’s hovering over you,” Chie broke the silence, stirring around her food with her chopsticks. “Typically you’re clear skies, but,” she gestured her hands at you, “looks like you have a nasty black cloud hanging over your head.”
You stopped chewing, and swallowed your food, looking up to your friends. “... what?”
Hideo scratched at his chin, “You aren’t like yourself today.”
“Eloquent as ever, Hideo,” Chie muttered, the man shooting her a withering look which she ignored.
You fiddled with your hands under the table, hiding the nerves that had bubbled up. “Just … concerned about a coworker. He wasn’t at his desk this morning.” Why should I care? It isn’t any of my business.
Chie pursed her lips, thinking. “Oh yeahhhh,” she said, “Kento isn’t here, right?”
“You don’t know the guy, but I don’t think he would appreciate the casualness-” Hideo countered.
Kento? Your mind flashed back to the name plate next to your desk. Nanami K. ‘K’ as in Kento. In the two months that you had been here, you hadn’t even learned his given name, always just referring to him as Nanami.
“Yeah,” is what you answered with, “he doesn’t seem like the type to not come to work unless it was something serious.”
Hideo and Chie looked at you before looking at each other, a small smile forming on Chie’s face and Hideo looking tired.
“The guy is probably sick,” Hideo huffed.
Chie just rolled her eyes, “Boring answer as usual.” She wrote something down on a piece of paper and slid it over to you. “Here’s his number.”
You and Hideo both looked at her with questioning looks. Nanami Kento was not the type to give his number to someone without good reason.
“How the hell did you get that,” Hideo questioned.
Chie just shrugged, “I saw it on the lunch room sheet when we had that karaoke night a few months ago… decided to keep it just in case and look! It worked out!”
You looked at the number, and carefully placed it into your pocket. You didn’t know if you were going to use it, as it felt like an invasion of privacy. You didn’t know Nanami well, but you knew that he didn’t like to mix business with his personal life. Just in case though. Is what your brain said.
Lunch ended without any other interruptions and you went back to your desk, still, Nanami wasn’t there.
He wasn’t there the next day either.
Or the next.
Or for the rest of the week.
There was no sign of Nanami Kento.
And while your brain was trying to rationalise it, your gut was pacing back and forth. Something was wrong, be it a bad case of some illness or something worse.
You stared at his number as you were trying to relax after your work week, eyes flickering back and forth from your dinner on the stove and the scrawled numbers on the crumpled piece of paper.
Just in case.
Turning the burner on low, you typed in his number on your messenger, a text felt less intrusive than a call.
Hey, Nanami, it’s Y/N. I was just concerned and a coworker gave me your number to check in.
You hit send before you second guess yourself and back out of it, and shut off your phone and place it face down, turning back to your food. A minute later and there was a vibration.
Nanami Just under the weather. Thank you though for checking in.
You breathed out a sigh of relief that was building in your chest for a week.
Okay, I hope you feel better soon and let me know if you need anything.
Let me know if you need anything?! I can’t do anything! I don’t even know where he lives!
The dots on your screen stopped and there was another message on your phone.
Nanami Thank you but I’m fine.
Somehow I doubt that. But you didn’t press into it, instead taking his answer for what it is and turning back to your dinner before it could burn from the inattention. Your chest feels a bit lighter than it previously had.
You arrived early for work, something cold and heavy in your gut as you watched the clock. Knowing Nanami, he would walk in just as the hour started. Always in on time, always out on time, never staying earlier or later.
And as the hour turned, a familiar head of blond hair walked through the door and you watched as Nanami sat down in his chair next to you.
A million questions were at the edge of your tongue, but you stayed quiet. You were nothing more than work acquaintances. You doubted that he considered the two of you friends. But you missed him. His presence was a crucial part of your daily routine, and even though you didn’t know him well, you missed him.
“I’m glad you’re feeling better,” is what you offered instead, looking at him out of the corner of your eye.
Nanami looks back at you, and you notice that his eyes are a warm hazel brown but with something clouding them slightly. “... glad to be back,” he said back before turning to his work.
You didn’t press for answers, but did notice that he winced every so often, and that the hollows of his cheeks — damn, his cheekbones are defined — were more pronounced. He wasn’t showing it, but Nanami was tired and still recovering. Not from an illness, but on one of his missions he was critically injured. Shoko did her best, but he still wasn’t back to his 100%. Typically people didn’t notice nor care if he wasn’t at his day job, but something warm made its way into his chest. You had noticed.
You who had entered into his life randomly one day, and slowly cemented yourself there. Never pushing, never intruding, but cementing yourself nonetheless.
“I’m sorry if I worried you,” he said, barely above a whisper, as you were still working.
You glanced at him, as he never said anything while you both were working. “What for? You were ill, you can’t control that.”
Nanami hummed, “Fair enough. But, sorry that I worried you.”
You hummed back, which he took as an answer that you understood.
There was a shift in your relationship. Acquaintance didn’t do it justice. You both cared and respected each other too much.
“I don’t like worrying my … friend,” he huffed.
Friend.
You looked at him properly, before offering a smile, “Well, too bad, because I worry about my friends.” Nanami — Kento — looked back at you, at your smile, and he offered a small one back. “Noted. I’ll try my best so you don’t need to worry.”
Kento had been looking for his phone all morning with no luck. Typically he wouldn’t be as concerned, since he didn’t keep much on it, but now he was antsy trying to look for the damned thing.
“Didn’t know you were seeing someone, Nanami,” an all too irritating voice sang. Gojo Satoru was holding his phone while sprawled out on a chair. Of course he had his phone and was snooping around. “But, yeesh, they’re dry as can be. ‘Here’s the recipe for those chocolate muffins I brought in the other day that you liked.’ Tch.”
Kento felt his eye twitch as he calmly took back his phone. “They aren’t my partner,” he said, but something clenched in his heart. “And they aren’t dry.”
Satoru shrugged, “Defensive much! If they aren’t your partner…” a mischievous grin played out on his face, “can I have that muffin recipe?”
“Absolutely not,” he retorted sooner than he could think.
The grin grew wider, “See, defensive!~”
With his phone in hand, Kento left the room and his former high school as he made the trip back to his place. And even though he saw Satoru as an annoyance, something that had said had struck a chord with him.
Why am I defensive? And that weird clench in his chest.
That only increased once he saw what Satoru had changed your contact name in his phone to.
🤎 My Muffin 🤎
Oh… there’s that warm feeling again.
You had noticed something going on with Kento, he was back to being a bit distant which was odd.
You had, officially, been friends for four months, and you can hardly believe that it’s been six months since you had chosen to sit next to him. Today though, he had his walls up.
“Is something going on,” you asked once lunch had started, turning your seat to speak to him.
He looked towards you but not at you, which you noticed. “I didn’t sleep well,” he answered.
Technically it was true. After what Gojo had said and what he had changed your name to in his phone — which Kento hadn’t had the heart to change back — he barely got any sleep, instead laying in bed and staring up at the ceiling.
He knew that he cared for you, but to what depths he did not know. He layed in bed into the late hours of the night, going over his own conflicting thoughts. He envisioned your future as friends, and he was content with that, but then his thoughts wandered. They wandered into something more than what you two currently have. A chaste kiss to the back of his wrist. Hugging you. Your chilly hands wandering under his shirt trying to get warm on a winter’s night. Waking up next to you. Kissing you. Holding you. Being the reason why you laugh and smile.
The depths were then known, and they went far deeper than just platonic feelings.
The dark circles under his eyes were from lost sleep, yes, but also from a future he knew wouldn’t come to fruition. A future that he knew would only bring you heartache and pain, and even the moments of warmth and peace isn’t worth that.
You knew you weren’t going to get much else for an answer, so you just gave him a small smile. “Alright, but I’m always here if you want to talk about it, Kento.”
You had said his given name before, but now he wished that he never had told you to use his name by the way that his heart grew warm. He didn’t say anything though and just nodded, and then walked out of the office for his lunch, something else that was new.
Your lunch hour was quiet, and your mind elsewhere, wondering what made Kento switch his routine. He was predictable. He was stable. What could make him change from usual?
“Who are you thinking about,” Hideo asked, sipping his coffee.
You looked up to find Chie and Hideo looking at you, and you stopped stirring your soup. How long had I been stirring it?
“Who am I thinking about?” You parroted back, unsure of what he was leading on about.
Chie groaned, “Yeah, you have this concerned dopey look on your face. So, spill. Who are you pining after? If they hurt you, so help me–”
Pining?! “I’m not pining after anyone,” you muttered, taking a sip of your soup. Damn, it’s cold. “… what would make you think that?”
“My brother had the same look on his face, poor bastard fell hard,” Hideo said. “And you’ve had … this lightness around you for the past few months and it’s not as light, if that makes sense.”
The only thing that had changed was that you were concerned about Kento, your friend. Your brain always emphasised the friend part, yet your heart always felt warm when you were around him. You rationalised that it would pass, yet it hasn’t. It’s been five months and it hasn’t passed. You’ve had crushes before, but they always passed and never stayed this long.
You can’t have a crush on a coworker, let alone a friend, that’s two cans of worms in one. Yet, as Hideo and Chie keep on chatting, you’re analysing the past six months. Trying to find where these mushy feelings started to arise.
Maybe it was when you had gotten Kento to genuinely laugh, with the way you had felt your face warm from the sound. Or discovering that he enjoyed listening to emo music, envisioning the usually stoic and proper man listening to it felt like whiplash yet it made so much sense. Or the way his eyes would unconsciously seek you out in the morning, the weak sunlight illuminating his eyes into warm pools of amber. Or just how he treated others, respectful.
It was everything.
Yet you hadn’t acted out on these feelings, not wanting to ruin everything that you’ve built with him. Which has left you a pining mess. Wanting to reach out, but not wanting to get too close to the candle in fear of getting burnt.
“I,” you whispered quietly, “don’t want to ruin what we have.”
Chie and Hideo went quiet, giving you a sympathetic look before looking at each other, silently communicating with each other.
“Would you be happy with what you currently have though?” Chie asked, placing her hand on top of yours, rubbing soothing patterns into the skin.
You thought about it. Could I be happy?
You envisioned Kento, a few years in the future, arm around his partner’s waist as he introduces you as his friend. The thought alone leaves a bitter taste in your mouth. You never thought yourself to be the jealous type, but the thought of that imaginary person made the emotion flare.
“… no.”
Hideo, clapped you on the shoulder, “Well, that’s your answer! What are you waiting for then?”
The rest of the day passed agonisingly slow, and Kento was still closed off.
You didn’t speak to him at all, the tension making your throat dry, but every time you glanced over to him you noticed his eyes dart back to his work quickly.
Tonight, after work. You told yourself, busying yourself with an easy assignment, everything adding up nicely.
If only this was as easy.
Finally, as the hand hit the hour and Kento got up, you tapped him on the shoulder, garnering his attention.
“Kento, I have to tell you something,” you breathed out.
The dreaded sentence, ‘I need to tell you something.’ just as foreboding as ‘We need to talk.’
He stopped, and tensed. Waiting.
You cleared your throat, realising that you were in the office, and you really didn’t need HR finding out. “But, outside.”
Kento followed three steps behind you, keeping a bit of distance but still close. The elevator ride down was tense and awkward, and he wanted to say something but stayed quiet. He was keeping his distance, but he had felt the warmth of your friendship, he so badly wanted it, but instead of the steady flicker of a candle flame, he wanted it to be a crackling fire. Brighter. Warmer. More intense. So he stood a respectful distance, even though he wanted to reach out.
The two of you walked out into the courtyard, and once you reached the sidewalk, you turned to him, fiddling with your hands.
“Do you … like being around me, Kento?”
Kento blinked a few times. Do I like being around you? Do living things like breathing? I can’t imagine not being around you. “Yes,” he said instead, “what brought this up?” He knew full well what brought this up, and he was mentally kicking himself for how his behaviour had made you feel.
You took in a breath, steadying yourself. “Just, you’ve been avoiding me… cold in a sense. Something felt off, and,” you paused, digging your nails into your palms, enough to sting, “I really like being around you, it hurts when you aren’t around.”
His eyes searched in yours, and he heard his heartbeat roar like waves hitting the shore.
“I don’t just really like being around you, I-” you took a breath, “I love you, Kento.”
I love you, Kento. Played through his head, and it felt like everything stopped.
You waited with bated breath for his answer, but you weren’t expecting his hand to enclose around your own, bringing them up to his chest. You could feel his heart pounding erratically.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered and your world felt like it was crumbling down. “I adore you.” He brought your wrist to his lips and placed a kiss to your pulse, closing his eyes. “I just didn’t want to lose you.”
“What fools we are,” you laugh.
Kento hummed, “Fools plural?”
You nodded, “I… I’ve liked you for a while and I didn’t want to ruin what we have by confessing but,” you motioned to your current situation, “looks like I had nothing to fear. Kento, you will never lose me.”
You moved your one hand to his neck, tracing a circle with your thumb, “And if you do, I’ll find you again.”
The both of you were close, and he closed the distance by placing a kiss to your lips, still chaste, but you could feel the heat behind it, the emotions left unsaid made abundantly clear. You bit the bullet and deepened it, feeling him sigh and relax against you.
Sure, switching companies made you nervous, upset that your routine had changed. That the former stability was gone. But, without it you would have never ended up like this.
You never would have found Kento.
#jjk#jjk x reader#jjk x gn reader#nanami kento#nanami kento x reader#nanami kento x gn reader#jjk fluff#nanami kento fluff#my writing#x reader#... i wrote this in under 4 hours and then an hour for editing and making a banner thing that i liked#anywho i do hope people enjoy this since i enjoyed writing this#and gege THIS is what nanami deserves you *shakes that one-eyed cat*#i always forget that i enjoy writitng and am surprised when i can just write one out with no issues#unfortunately that isn't the case most of the time
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Sam has never fully left those rooms. He has grown, versions of him splintering off left to rot in different motels rooms, different states. An 11 year old with shoes too big in Oklahoma, A restless bouncing 5 year old North Carolina with matted curls because a 9 year old forgets to brush his hair at times, too busy memorizing how to properly clean guns instead of the multiplication table.
Sam sees them still, when passing through visited states. Still sees the 14 year old in Maine with growing anger in the shape of his father, too big for his bird bone chest and sunburnt skin. They stare at him like ghosts, always in the corner of molded moth ball smelling rooms. The uncertain 18 year old about to ditch everything, stares at him with disgust. The 16 year old with defiant bangs and ripped up pants screaming insecurities, he stares in awe. While the clingy 12 year with the perfected annoying little brother voice just stares, he has yet to really entertain the idea of Dean. He has yet to see his 16 year old brother as anything other then badass who wears too much cologne, with a snaggle tooth and drawing looks from older ladies with ring tan lines on empty fingers and beer belly sweat smelling men. Dean is badass, he is cool and everything sam can’t seem to be. He has yet to realize, in 2 years his brother will be sun flushed cheeks and chick flick muscles, that he will be the main character in his story and Dean the one he’s after.
#I wrote this at 4 am with no idea what direction I’m going in#My brain is sleep mush#dean winchester#samdean#wincest#sam winchester#the epic love story of sam and dean#teenchesters
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