#I wouldn't touch her with a 10-foot pole | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

shurisneakers · 27 days ago

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unsolved (v)

Summary: Bucky doesn't even believe in the paranormal. So who the hell thought it was a good idea to stick him in a series about everything haunted for the internet's amusement? With his loose-canon of a teammate who has no concept of subtlety or shits left to give, to make things even worse. (Buzzfeed unsolved AU)

Warnings: swearing, frustrated bucky, obnoxious reader, witchcraft

A/N: it's like i never left amirite (im sorry it has been like 10 months pls forgive me ily guys let's pretend this series never went on hiatus) (i had cancer and college but now I've graduated from both and i live babyyy. anyway. welcome back to my house of horrors)

Previous part || Series masterlist

When you tell Maya you want to do witchcraft, you'd done so with the full expectation of defending your idea with the force of a PhD student who was on the verge of a mental breakdown.

She surprisingly agrees.

“Really?” It's hard to stop the astonishment from entering your voice. Honestly, it sort of pisses you off that the Canva presentation you spent five hours on wouldn't actually see the light of day.

“Yeah, sure. I think it'd do well with the older demographic. ” She shrugs.

"Really?" Now you weren't sure she was on the same plane of existence as you were.

“Make some animals talk. Conjure up some parking spots.”

Ah.

“I was thinking more like... hexing people and shadow demons,” you test slowly.

That seems to tether her to reality.

Her head cranes towards you centimetre by centimetre, like she was buffering in real time.

“Are you insane?" she states, not very much sounding like she was expecting an answer. "Do you want to end up on the news? Do you know how vicious Facebook groups can be?”

“No PR is bad PR,” you preach wisely, parroting advice you’d seen bots on Twitter tell other bots.

“That doesn’t apply to you. I already have a tough time explaining Stephen Strange and why he’s not literally the devil to the public."

Now that was a little unfair. Perhaps it warranted another Canva presentation.

"Have you considered that I'm hotter and significantly cooler than Stephen Strange?" you suggest helpfully.

She squints at you, or more likely your audacity. "I will not have another scandal on my hands this week.”

“But next week is okay?”

Her hardened stare tells you quickly what a thousand words cannot.

You cross your arms over your chest. “Thou limit me so, Maya. How is one to find you invigorating content in these trying circumstances?”

Maya taps your shoulder on her way out, crooning, “There’s a reason I asked you to do this series. You’ll figure it out.”

You hide a smile with an all too dramatic sigh. “Thou compliment me so. How am I to not fall in love with thee?”

Maya shakes her head playfully. “Nothing that will get me called into a press conference by mid-day. No hexing. No extreme curses. ”

“Mid-level curses it is, then” you call after her.

Her leaving figure does not give you a reply.

After a week of staring at the corner of his room through the night, delirious to the point where he seriously considered using Sam’s Amazon Prime account to buy his own stupid ghost apparatuses, Bucky throws in the towel.

Clearly, he was mistaken. Sleep deprived and probably missing his family a little more than he would have ever admitted to a living soul.

Bucky's sleep deprivation adds to his already charming and sociable personality.

No one would touch him with a ten-foot pole. Bucky’s usually grumpy and while everyone had sort of built a tolerance towards his regular nonsense, he was now the very sexy combination of grumpy and sensitive.

For his part, after last week's shenanigans, Bucky has stuck to avoiding anything and everything horror.

He watches only romcoms and finds that while everyone says he seems most like Harry from Harry Met Sally, he hates that Mike Wazowski motherfucker with a passion.

While everyone else seems to get the memo, you have chosen to ignore it blissfully, and have instead been prancing about all week, shoving meme after meme into his face.

Bucky Barnes smiling compilations that were 7 seconds long. Bucky Barnes social media fanfictions that showed him replying far more than he had ever replied to anyone in real life ever.

Bucky’s learnt to ignore you with a long-suffering glare. You adapt quickly, skillfully dodge the daggers shooting out of his eyes and shove another TikTok in his face. It is an edit of him to Toxic by Britney Spears. He doesn't want to ask where they got some of the footage they used.

After the fifth Twitter screenshot, he takes to avoiding you like the plague.

Unfortunately for Maya, that involved avoiding the set too. He sees on the official The Graveyard Shift channels that there’s an announcement put out about an episode delay.

It is undeniably his fault. No, he still won't answer the group chat or the several knocks at his door every day.

But because the universe is invested in his sorrow, you seem to find him wherever he goes.

In the garden, digging through the vegetable bed.

In the storeroom, looking through oversized cookware.

When he walked into the alley behind the Tower and found you there, he hissed at you like a feral cat and you asked very loudly what the fuck was wrong with him.

He checks every part of him and all his clothes for a tracker but no-- you just seem to have a karmic connection level of being exactly where he is.

When he runs into you for the fourth time at the library, he really thinks he’s lost it.

“Are you following me?” he asks, voice sharp.

You look at him in wonder. “Your ego is so big it could have its own gravitational pull. How do you carry around your massive head all day?"

“Everywhere I go, you’re there.” He continues, finger pointing in accusation.

“Bitch, you're the one who walked in here," you exclaim. "I’ve been here all day.”

“Doing what?”

“Who’s following who now?” you dare.

“Because you’re in this section.” He does a quick check to see what section it actually is. Witchcraft and Wizardry. He may not have known that when he accused you but he definitely was not wrong.

“Why do you care what I do here?”

Because he's wondering if he’s managed to shut down production permanently and sent a bunch of people into unemployment.

“I don’t trust you here," he settles on instead. "What are you actually doing?"

“I’m learning things. Gaining knowledge. And such." You gesture vaguely before you narrow your eyes at him. "Not that you would know, you ape.”

He scoffs. He had the intelligence of a thousand suns, mind you.

“You don’t even have a book," he counters.

“So? I’m gaining knowledge through osmosis.” You look around. “I’m absorbing.”

His nose twitches, teeth clenched.

“Whatever,” he mumbles instead, turning his attention to the bookshelf.

As he thumbs through various titles he’s too annoyed to read, a small movement catches his attention.

He watches you from the corner of his eyes.

“What?” you demand, this whole exchange too damn loud for a library.

“What?” he challenges right back. “Why are you watching me?”

“Why am I– you’re the one staring at me.” You throw your hands up. “First you follow me here, second you accuse me of things that would get me burnt at the stake a couple of years ago, third you accuse me of watching you just 'cause you know you're pretty. You–”

Bucky narrows his eyes, not missing the random compliment you slipped in.

“Hold on just one second. That’s why you’ve been avoiding everyone all week.” You stare at him, wide-eyed and unrelenting.

He thinks he must have missed some part of the conversation because he has no idea why you're looking at him like you've figured him all out.

“That’s why you’ve been so jumpy and sleep deprived ever since that episode you filmed.”

Bucky’s gaze doesn’t waver, but his mind races and his breath falters for a second. There’s no goddamn way you knew what had gone down, he’d deleted every footage that could possibly–

“You missed me.”

He stops his overthinking right in its tracks.

“That’s it, isn’t it?” You tilt your head, face full of pure sympathy. “You filmed one episode without me by your side and realised you couldn’t live without me.”

“Fucking ridiculous,” he mutters, eyes pressed closed tighty, partially in relief.

“You want me, don’t you? You want me so bad it makes you throw u–”

“Fuck off.” Bucky turns on his heel at the speed of light.

“You have a fat, raging crush–”

“I’m fuckin' moving out.” His voice is like rocks.

“You can move out, but you can never move on, baby,” you whisper-shout. “When’d you realise you liked me, Bucky? Night one? The first hou–”

He slams the library door behind him.

From: Stevie Left some strawberries outside your door. They’re good.

From: Stevie How are you doing today, by the way?

From: Bucky alive

From: Bucky and thanks

From: Stevie Anything we have to talk about? Your wood chisels didn’t break again, did they?

From: Bucky nothing im fine

From: Stevie You sure? Time for a Cypress Hills visit?

From: Bucky no im fine

From: Stevie You haven’t left the room in a week. Beat your old record and I'm going to start getting worried here.

Bucky stares at his phone wondering how he ended up with a mother a century after his own died, before sighing.

From: Bucky going to film a video this week. im fine

From: Bucky promise

Because there really was no other way to convince Steve that he as leaving the cave he constructed from his comforter.

From: Steve Good to hear. I’m always across the hallway if you need anything.

From: Bucky i know. your gramophone won’t let me forget it.

From: Steve Dick.

From: Bucky it is too damn loud. old ass

From: Steve Got a new record. Haven’t listened to it yet.

From: Bucky ill be there in 10

That Friday, Bucky walks onto the set in his finest black hoodie and darkest sunglasses, looking less like a badass and entirely like a hungover teenager.

Before he has a chance to even register what’s going on, he is ambushed by lights, a team touching up his face and his stupid dollar store sunglasses leave him before he has a chance to protest.

“I told you he’d show up,” you pipe up proudly from your place at the table. “Lil' shit simply missed me too–”

“Stop,” he interrupts, finally getting around to look at the set when the foundation brushes stop assaulting his line of vision.

For a hot second, he thinks you've taken over Steve's cooking show.

There are candles floating around, which he assumes you're holding up. A large… cauldron, gigantic wooden mixing spoons and 50 little bowls worth of ingredients are neatly arranged on the table.

“What the hell is going on?” he questions immediately. “What is all this?”

“Mise en place, baby,” you reply, shutting a book you had on the table loudly before looking at him. “You’re on dish duty. Come on.”

“What?” His eyebrows pull into a frown.

You dust off your hands before reaching under the table and chucking an apron at him. “Back when I worked as a line cook, the number one rule was to clean up as you go. I like to think of it as--”

“What is going on here?” he specifies, already trying to piece together your timeline in his head with every new piece of lore.

“Welcome to my kitchen, motherfucker.” Your grin is nefarious. “We're gonna do some witchcraft.”

After he spends fifteen minutes on the phone with Maya confirming that yes, that is indeed the episode and that the heads up he needed would have reached him if he opened the seventeen million messages on the group chat– he finally comes to stand behind the bench with you, a tick in his jaw but also with enough self-awareness to be sheepish.

He thought his grand return to the channel would be a simple video with some ghost reading or whatever, not… this.

He turns to you, ready to reach a compromise that ends with him not having to be there at all.

But in the fifteen minutes he had turned his attention to the call, you’ve somehow convinced them to start rolling before he gets the chance to leave, so he’s immediately hit with a--

“We’re on in three…two–”

“Where is your apron?” you demand, looking him up and down.

“I’m not wearing that shit.” It had some stupid slogan like ‘Life is about taking whisks!’ and he had already been through enough.

“Jeez, annyone would think that you're not in love with me--"

"I'm not."

"--by the way you're so ungrateful. I got that custom-made for you,” you tsk. “I could've gotten the other one. Mine could've said ‘he’s my sweet potato’ and yours could've said ‘I yam’.”

Bucky experiences a whole-body chill.

“Whatever," you dismiss with a wave of hand before looking into the camera. "Before we get started, we recognize that for some, witchcraft is a deeply meaningful religion and spiritual practice that should be approached with respect and curiosity.”

“We’re not claiming this is the definitive guide to witchcraft, we’re simply trying out a book that’s been highly recommended for better or worse, and seeing where it leads us. Whaddya say, Bucko?

You look at him for input. Bucky stares at the dusty, hole-ridden monstrosity on the table.

“What’s it called?” Bucky asks finally after a long pause.

You tap the thick, old book. “Witchcraft for Weenies: A Totally Legit Guide to Authentic Witchcraft by A. Harkness.”

“Is that the actual name or are you just making it up?”

“Rich coming from the only one between us who actually lied on camera--" you glare at him. "I would never fabricate my sources, I’m a champion for academic integrity.”

You pick up the book to show him, flipping it towards the camera too and sure enough, the book that was basically falling apart at the binding was called exactly that.

“Let’s-a go, baby.”

You stare at him, lips pressed together. Bucky gives no inclination towards changing his answer.

“Fine. We’re going to do this the hard way, I see.” You exhale, reaching into the pocket of your apron.

Bucky’s eyebrows knit together when you brandish a deck of cards, yank his arm towards you and drop it into his open palm.

“Shuffle," you command.

Something very familiar faces him.

Bucky stares at the cards before looking back at you. “Why’s my face on it?”

“It’s a tarot deck I got from Comic Con,” you insist. “Avengers themed. Now shuffle it.”

He thinks you left that card on top on purpose, but regardless, he's already been too much of a menace to the crew to be the cause of any more disturbance.

So he slowly begins, careful and skilled, before you scoff in his face.

“Faster, grandpa," you chide. “I’ve seen the way those hands cut garlic when no one’s around, I know you move faster than that.”

Bucky rolls his eyes but complies anyway, shuffling the cards with the adeptness only a certain Jim Morita could have taught him in a dark tent to keep him awake on a night watch.

“Faster,” you goad, face smug. “Faster. Come on now, Barnes, your age finally catching up to you?”

It’s stupid– he doesn’t even know why he’s actually complying and increasing his speed. He can’t believe that he was letting you pressure him.

“C’mon, faster, Barnes, you abso-”

His hands were moving so fast by then that they’d have to put the video in slow motion to catch all the movement.

“Faster–” and in the commotion, a few cards fly out.

“Brilliant, thanks.” You slam them down on the table, plucking the deck out of his hand before he has a chance to process why the fuck he actually went ahead with what you were trying.

“Right, so the universe has decided that these will be your cards,” you tell him, and he finally looks down at what had fallen out of the deck.

The cards show Sam’s Captain America shield, Carol Danvers, and Spider-Man, with words written below.

“The Star, Six of Cups, The Hanged Man,” you read out thoughtfully.

Bucky rolls his eyes so hard he thinks they’ll fall out of his skull.

“You know, I’m going to just make a general assumption and say you need help.” You hum to yourself. “I'm gonna make a potion to get you some.”

“Get me some?” He's too busy trying to figure out what the cards could possibly mean to see that he's walked straight into that one.

“Get you some perspective. You need an advisor who’ll dish it to you straight. Give you the facts, no bullshit–”

"No." He had too many of those in his life and he has had enough of people being “honest” and "straightforward” and telling him his moustache was ugly every time he dared to try out a new look–

Until you reach under the table and again and suddenly, there’s a white creature buzzing around on the table in front of him.

“Behold– your new advisor,” you announce.

From the corner of his eye Bucky can see the production team scrambling to figure out where the hell this was going. He lip-reads producers’ orders to find adoption links or resources to insert during post-production, and teasers on social media, to make this look more planned. Great, so no one was prepared-- it wasn't just him.

“Whose fucking cat is this?” He looks down at it, all white except for a few brown spots all around, green eyes and evil in her aura.

“Relax, I'll give her back when we're done.”

“Give her ba–” he echoes. “Where did you get her?”

“The alley outside,” you coo, rubbing under her chin. “I checked and she doesn’t have an owner. But look at her, she’s meant to be here.”

Bucky looks at the cat. The cat looks back at him, irises narrowing into slits. His nose twitches.

“You can’t just bring a cat–”

“Remember to adopt, not shop,” you say to the camera before clapping your hand. “Anyway. If my potion goes according to plan, she will be giving you unsolicited life advice for eternity.”

“You will be unemployed, then,” Bucky manages to add while watching the chaos unfold behind the camera.

“Nonsense, I’m irreplaceable.” You grin. “Besides, you can't manufacture chemistry like this even in a cauldron.”

You send him a flying kiss. His glower was as sharp as laser beams.

“Let’s get started.” You grin at the camera.

Bucky tries to pet the cat. She hisses at him.

Well all-fucking-right then.

One hour later, things have descended into madness of the most mundane kind.

It was precisely when you started telling him ten minutes in that a book had nothing on your instincts and raw intelligence that Bucky knew that this was going to shit.

The cauldron was on an electric stove unlike the open fire demanded by the book because the team had enough foresight to know it would be a fire hazard.

You toss in something that looks like cardamom but he isn’t sure at this point. He just wanted to get away from the bright lights and the strange smiling liquid boiling awai.

The cat sits obediently by your side, watching curiously. He is convinced that she is evil.

Unfortunately, Bucky has had to hold her back twice when she tried to stick her paw in to attack a bubble, and at this point, he doesn’t think he has it in him to do it a third time.

You read the recipe as if it makes any sort of fucking difference now.

“We’re almost done,” you sing.

Bucky nurses his headache. “Don't give me hope.”

“Put some more reegelbeetle seeds in,” you dictate. “This is gonna work, I can feel it.”

Bucky uses his free hand to do as you say. He doesn’t even think it’s the right one, he just reaches for whatever is closer to you and you don't seem to care either.

You toss in some more seeds, stir twice and then turn off the stove.

“Boom.” You lift the spoon up, watching the thick liquid drip back. “This is either a talking potion or a hex.”

"Hex to do what?”

“I think it activates dormant allergies.” You squint at the book that literally had no significance besides being a prop. “You got any?”

“No.” But it makes him think of Steve’s pollen allergies.

“Oh. Well, then there’s only one outcome here.”

“Alright, here we go.” Of the gigantic pot that you’d just stirred, you fish the tiniest amount out on the smallest spoon he’d ever seen, which you also apparently stored in the vast space that was your apron pocket.

The cat watches you hold the spoon near its face.

It takes a sniff. Then two. Finally, after deeming it non-poisonous, it sticks out its tongue the tiniest bit and takes a lick.

The whole crew is silent.

Bucky’s hand is still pressing against his temples.

“Tell us your name,” you urge, voice hopeful.

The cat looks at Bucky, and for a second, something akin to understanding flashes in its eyes. It’s uncanny and weird and something about it unsettles him deeply.

You seem to catch it too because you look at him in surprise. He looks back at you, face pulled into a frown.

And for a moment, he wonders. If you'd somehow done it. Because there’s no fucking way–

Then it meows.

He exhales.

Your shoulders drop as you let out an “Aw, man.”

"Great. Goodbye. Like and subcribce to the bell icon," he calls out, dusting his hands against his pants.

Someone from the production crew sneezes.

Both of you turn to him immediately.

At the same instant, someone else all the way on the opposite end sneezes again, and the whole crew turns to look at them, before another sneezes in the front.

“We did it!” you cheer.

“We didn’t do jack,” Bucky interjects immediately as the crew errupts into a cacophony of chatter and sneezes.

“It’s a hex that activates allergies and they’re sneezing,” you point towards them with the spoon, triumphant.

“You threw fifteen fuckin' pounds of pepper in there,” he argues. “You've turned this room into a sandstorm of dry spices. This proves nothing.”

“I’ve connected the dots.” Your eyes shine, ignoring him.

“You didn’t connect shit.”

“I’ve connected them.”

Someone in the corner sneezes. He wonders if Steve’s allergies would be activated by the trace amounts of... cursed soup that he carries with him back to the floor.

“Well, we can’t leave them like this, Bucky.” You look around, tsking. “We gotta make a reverse hex or something.”

“You can,” he says. “It’s called opening the windows.”

“Nope,” you pop the last syllable. “We’re making another potion. C’mon.”

“First of all, this is not a potion–” he begins, but is interrupted by a buzz on his phone, the screen lit up by a text on the groupchat.

From: Maya I don’t give a shit if it’s placebo or not. Make a damn potion before you get sued for hexing employees.

“Fine,” he grumbles.

“Beautiful. Grab the ash sphinx flakes,” you brandish another big cauldron from fuck knows where.

Bucky stares at you, unmoving.

“Just get the oregano,” you sigh.

The cat tries sticking her paw in the pot again.

Bucky feels a sneeze incoming.

Whether the hex and subsequent anti-hex Maya forced you to make at gunpoint was real or not, is yet to be determined scientifically.

What actually does happen, is the damn apron you give him carries enough trace amount of your stupid experiment, that it somehow activates Steve’s very real pollen allergy. Bucky finds himself on edge for the rest of the day every time the man rattles the walls with his middle aged dad sneezing.

It carries on over to his show, which means Steve’s episode on baking a 1950s chocolate cake from tomato soup is edited extremely strangely to cut out every sneeze.

Which means Nat’s episode on spy inaccuracies in Argylle takes twice as long to film because they have to take a few seconds every time Steve’s sneezes interrupt her from the set next door.

Which means Bruce’s video on the science behind memory is delayed on shooting.

All in all, something does seemed to have been hexed, but it mostly seems to be everyone’s fucking productivity.

Finally, everyone manages to get through the day, and the videos are sent to post production.

The same night when everyone’s gathered at the dining table to commemorate the end of another shoot day, Bucky slips out, knowing that Steve would save him a slice of pizza if he never returned.

He goes back to the library to return his copy of Understanding Wood Finishing, when his curiosity leads him back down a familiar path.

It’s where he finds you again, in the same corner as the last time, on the floor, surrounded by shelves.

“You again.” You quirk an eyebrow when he appears from the shadows. "Aren't you supposed to be eating pizza?"

“What are you absorbing now?” he asks, voice low for once, respecting the sanctity of the library now that day had slipped into night and everything seemed a bit more solemn now.

“Nothing,” you answer.

“Then why are you here?”

He figured you’d be out there, introducing everyone to the cat that was now set to be roaming the halls, before someone assumed it was a shapeshifting enemy and dealt with it accordingly.

“God forbid someone get some peace and quiet for once,” you mumble. “It’s too loud out there.”

Oh.

You don’t say anything else, leaning back against the bookshelf with your eyes closed.

There really isn't a need for more words. He gets it.

The understadning leaves silence in its wake. Bucky doesn't really have anything to say.

“Did you come here just to stare at me?” you ask finally. “Did you finally admit your feelings?”

“Jesus Christ,” he groans. “I’m not in love with you.”

“Only a matter of time.” You smile before changes to something more subdued, a bit more serious. “You wanna talk about what’s actually been bugging you for the last week?”

Bucky looks at you wearily. “The tarot cards tell you something?”

You eye him. “Not more than what’s obvious. Wanna talk about it?”

He swallows, throat suddenly feeling like it's closing in on itself.

“No.”

“Alrighty.”

You say nothing more than that, leaving the both of you in relative quiet, save for the buzz of the warm fluorescent light above.

Bucky takes an awkward seat next to you on the floor.

You pry open an eye to look at him in suspicion.

“Y’mind?” he manges.

“Mind what?”

He gestures to himself uncomforably, readiy to jump up and leave at any second.

You observe him for a second, and for once he stares back with no irritation in his look, just permission.

“No, you can sit.” You close your eyes. “So long as you don’t tell anyone else 'bout this place.”

If there’s anything Bucky’s good at, it’s keeping a secret.

He settles back into the shelf with an exhale, letting the weight of day roll off his shoulders.

You wordlessly slide a thermos towards him. He doesn’t even have to open it to know it’s the damn soup from that afternoon.

And if he’s being honest, it doesn’t taste that bad at all.

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velvetm00light · 3 months ago

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Friendsgiving

gif: pinterest dividers: @benkeibear, @mariariley, @haerinism

Chapter Seven of Save Me

Previous Chapters: one, two, three (y/n), three (spencer), four, five, six

Word Count: 1.8k

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female Reader

Summary: After a comforting morning cooking a dish for Penelope's Friendsgiving, you finally make it to her apartment to spend time with all of your favorite people.

Warnings: Mostly just references bad, consuming thoughts but nothing too serious :)

A/N: I'm sorry for not posting in a while! I've been writing my own book and I'm in pre-med so I don't normally have much free time. But, I want to at least post on here every so often! So here's a good one (hopefully) for ya'll. :)

YOU SLIP ON your favorite pair of leggings, fuzzy slippers, and Spencer's comfiest crewneck. He peers up at you from tying his shoes and smiles. "You look better in it than I do."

"Good thing I plan on keeping it." You smile.

As soon as he finishes, you follow him out of his bedroom and into the kitchen. You grab the mac and cheese dish you and Spencer had made earlier this morning. "Do you want me to get that?" He asks you.

"I'm a strong girl," you reply. He rolls his eyes playfully and ushers you out the door.

The car ride is short and sweet, he allows you to play whatever songs you want. His hand is placed on your knee, his thumb rubbing soft circles. He giggles at you as you loudly sing songs Spencer never would have listened to on his own. He even asked you to play one again just so he could sing it with you.

When you arrived at Penelope's apartment complex, he turns off his car and looks at you. "If it gets too much or you start to get stressed, just let me know, okay?"

"Thank you, Spence. I think I'll be fine," you reassure. You truly hadn't given yourself the time to think about what happened to you. You pushed all those feelings aside as soon as you woke up in the hospital and refused to touch them with a 10-foot pole. It helped that Spencer kept you busy, kept you safe. You'll spend the night with all your closest friends and feel relieved. You knew any of them would help you carry your burden if you asked.

He gives your knee a reassuring squeeze and hops out of the car. He rushes over to your side before you have a chance to open the door yourself.

"My lady," he bows as he opens the passenger side door.

You gently climb out of the car, careful of the dish in your arms. "My most loyal knight," you smile, mimicking a curtsy like you've seen on TV.

"Lady's don't curtsy to their knights but I'm not complaining."

"Oh, hush, Mr. Knows It All." You would have swatted at his arm but luckily for him, your arms are full.

You hurry up the stairs to Penelope's apartment. But, once you are standing in front of her door, anxiety starts to bubble inside you. You are excited for the rest of the night, but the beginning is what makes you nervous. You knew the team would either bombard you with "are you okay"'s and other comforting words or they wouldn't mention it but would walk on eggshells around you.

Spencer spins you to look at him. "I've got you. You're safe here."

You take a deep breath and try to give him a reassuring smile. "I know."

Spencer lifts his knuckles to knock on Penelope's dull apartment door as you turn back around, steeling yourself for the next few minutes. He only got in a single rapt on the door before it swung open wide, Penelope's red-painted lips drawing up into a bright smile. "You guys came!" She squealed, grabbing the glassware dish covered in tinfoil from your hands.

"Wouldn't miss it for the world," you smile, following Penelope to her kitchen island where all of your coworkers are standing around, nursing wine glasses in their hands. A silence falls upon the room, and you quickly break it unable to stand the palpable sympathy in the room. "I'm alive and I don't plan on being babied the entire rest of my life."

"She has been putting up a fight against it," Spencer laughs. The team joins in chuckling, the tension in the air immediately disappearing. JJ takes you by the shoulders and analyzes your face. "I'm glad you're here," she states as she pulls you into a tight momma bear hug. You swear you heard your ribs cracked as she squeezed you.

Your entire team takes turns hugging you and Spencer. You feign annoyance at being treated with such sympathy, but your heart flutters at the overwhelming love your team as for you.

"Who's ready to eat?" Emily asks brightly and immediately your entire team begins to dig into the multiple dishes placed carefully around Penelope's kitchen island. Your mac and cheese sits next to a stuffed turkey, pasta alla vodka which you would bet a million dollars that Rossi brought, and other deliciously smelling meals.

You don't wait to dig in, the days long starvation you suffered only a few days ago has been a consistent hole in your stomach, forcing your body into survival mode whenever you're around food. The choices are overwhelming and you stand frozen in place with a plate in your hand, unsure where to even begin.

"Here, I'll get some for you," Spencer says gently, taking the plate from your hand and pilling some of everything onto your plate.

"Thank you," you whisper. As soon as he finishes, he carries both plates over to Garcia's living room and you follow closely behind. "It was overwhelming."

"I know, I figured it might be easier if I made the decision for you. I also gave you less than you might want because I didn't want you to feel guilty for not eating everything."

Your eyes widen at his statement and he chuckles lightly. "You're not exactly mysterious, y/n," Spencer smiles.

"No one on this team is mysterious," Emily teased. "Everyone knows things they probably shouldn't even know." Everyone laughed and murmured their agreements.

The rest of the team joins you in the living room and everyone is a blur of talking in between bites and even with food in their mouths. Garcia doesn't even take a bite of her food for a few long minutes because she is too busy asking everyone else what kind of holiday movie they're in the mood for.

She finally settles on a silly hallmark movie and you and your team take turns outrageously guessing what will happen.

"I say she goes to this bakery, meets the guy who works there at the counter, and it turns out they're related somehow," JJ explains.

"No, she definitely goes in there, then she talks about how her parents were murdered on Christmas so she hates the holiday, and turns out he murdered them," Derek says, laughter filling the air.

"I'm glad the actual serial killers around the country decided to unite and stop killing for this one day so we could finally enjoy ourselves," Rossi announced. Everyone's head nodded in agreement.

"I miss it," you express, picking at your food.

"Take your time, y/n. There will always be bad guys," Aaron replies, his gaze softer as he looks at you than it has probably ever been in his life.

"I know, I just..it's hard, you know? I miss you guys," you confess. You decide to keep out the fact that you're afraid to be with your own thoughts or to be alone period. You weren't exactly confident in your abilities to deescalate yourself if it were to come to that.

"We miss you too, but it's important to heal," Penelope says softly and you can't help but smile at her contagious optimism.

"I know, I'm going to be upset though if all the extremely bad guys are caught while I'm gone."

"We'll save them just for you," Aaron responds, lifting his wine glass in the air. "I'll let them know as soon as I get home."

You try to enjoy the rest of the night with your friends, every bad thought that appears in your brain you shove into the dark depths where they can't come back out. You try to remind yourself to be happy that you're alive and back with the people who mean the most to you.

As the hours tick by, glasses of wine are drank and refilled, movies are played right after another ends, and the warmth in your heart grows heavier by the minute. You had always ached for friends like this, for nights spent laughing and joking.

Spencer's arm is stretched across the back of the couch behind you, his hand had been restless the entire night, running circles just below the nape of your neck, running a finger down your shoulder on the opposite side, or twirling pieces of your hair in between his fingers. You're unsure if he even knows he's doing it, but either way, you're grateful for the grounding touch. Without Spencer, you fear your thoughts might suck you into yourself so deep you would never see light again.

You allow yourself to think that maybe his touches have been intentional because somehow, he seems to know you better than you know yourself and knows how much you need his touch.

You and your team finally say your goodbyes as your lips feel leaded and threaten to shut on you with no sign of reopening for at least 12 hours.

"Be easy on yourself," Emily whispers as she embraces you in a hug. "Take this time to start a new hobby or something."

"I'll think about it," you smile. Spencer places his hand on the small of your back as you exit Penelope's apartment. You two are silent on the way Spencer's car. Spencer in his true fashion explains to you that you weren't going to drive anywhere this whole next month. You tried your best to tell him you didn't need a chauffeur and he was already doing enough. Plus, he didn't even like to drive. But your protests fell on deaf ears.

"Shhh..just get in the car," Spencer smiled, opening the passenger door for you.

"If you insist," you reply, sliding into the car.

"Play that one song you put on, something about taste?" Spencer said as he climbed into the driver's side.

"Oh my god, you want me to play Sabrina Carpenter?" You giggle, immediately searching for the song. You press play and turn the volume up to as loud as either of you could handle.

As soon as it began playing, you could hardly contain yourself. You were laughing so hard just listening to Spencer yell the words as dramatically as he could. He had to stop singing a couple of times because he was laughing just as hard as you. "Wait, one more time before we get home!"

"Okay, okay!"

Once you get to his apartment, you both can barely get out words you're still laughing at each other. He opens the door for you and you sigh in relief. As soon as he shuts the door behind you, he pulls you in for a hug. "I'm so proud of you."

You smile up at him. Before you can reply, he places a finger below your chin to bring your lips to his.

TAG LIST: @qatiee @dottirose @thisaintredwine @jay-2s-world @ruziazyn @translatemunson @sky2nd @dysphoricsanity @bunbunbl0gs

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onnahu · 6 months ago

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Batkids as AO3 users

Dick - I don't think he'd be a writer. He just don't give me the vibes, ya know? He would, however, read fics about people he knows. And himself. He's deep in superhero fandom, and at some moment he gets super invested in some rarepair and actually menages to set them up. I also think as a teenager he would stumble upon some E rated fic for someone he knows, then promise himself he'd never touch it again, and then a few years later he reads them a lot, is just super secretive and guilty about it. He does not, however, touch Batman E rated fics with a ten foot pole.

Tim - you'd think he'd write Hero RPF, huh? No. He's deep into Formula 1 RPF. He writes, he reads, he's just very active in fandom. Most of his works are some kind of Formula 1 murder mystery.

Jason - he is the one from Hero RPF. He doesn't read it, he just writes it. In various AU's, ranging from some inspired by his crazy adventures to those from classic literature. When he was still Robin, he wrote Pride and Prejudice Superbat fic, that became crazy popular. After ressurection he sweared he wouldn't touch it, but after checking it out once and realising how tragic his writing style was, he rewrites the whole thing. He reads fics from fandoms he does not know the original works of. He finds a fic he likes, and learns things from it. Then he spirals deep into fandom. Like many of Batfam fans I imagine. That's why he doesn't write, because he feels he can't without knowing the original, and he sure as hell ain't watching some kids show called Ben 10.

Babs - I think her beginnings were in something like Twilight of DCU. She would regret it forever. Currently she's involved in some shows she watches when on break from work and Oracle. I'm not really into TV series but maybe something like Bridgertons or The Boys or something like that. She writes only one-shots and is active on Tumblr. She has like a thousand bookmarks and she posts fic recs with the most wild analysis of writing style, plot consistency and just vibes. She stays away from any RPF's, but esoecially Superhero RPF. She's got it enough on day to day basis thank you very much.

Steph - that girl post Robin writes the most sick gore body horror fics change my mind. And she does it in fandom's you would least expected. She also writes Spoiler/Batgirl fics, that are really fluffy but also full of action and actually made the pairing wildly known.

Cass - she reads everything Steph writes for Spoiler/Batgirl. Steph does not know Cass knows she writes them. Cass is really charmed. She tried writing one, but it came out really dark and she didn't like how clumsy it was and gave up on trying to be an author. She reads heavy angst, crack, or Steph's Spoiler/Batgirl fics, nothing else. She's the person that leaves very short but very sweet comments on literally averything she likes.

Duke - that boy is in the same circles as both Tim and Dick. He actually finds out it's Tim that writes his favourite Formula 1 fics as Tim finds out it's Duke that leaves those super insightful comments on them that start's conversations with author and other readers. They have one talk about it and then forcefully forgets about it and continues as it was. He writes Batman and Robin and Robin Gang fics. He's really good at it, and that's how he found Duck Grayson. Not that any of them knows that's the other on the other side of the screen. And yes, he's Steph's beta reader, and she's his. They don't talk about it, it's just how it is.

Damian - he reads Batman and Robin fics but only about himself. He also draws fanart and makes comics about Batman and Robin (himself). Later he gets involved in Teen Titans fandom, then the Justice League one, and suddenly he's a wildly known fanartist in the whole Hero RPF community. And he did draw a fanart for Jason's fic ones. They both don't know it's the other. He also gives aby superhero an emotional support fictional pet. Dick think it's adorable. (He was the one that introduced Damian to fandom.)

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cyren-myadd · 30 days ago

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Feel free to completely ignore this ask if you want, but you're one of the best ppl posting and still talking about Spider, so I REAllY wanted to hear your opinion on this. Anyway, in your opinion, how would Spider have turned out had be been raised "human"? As in, by the McCoskers or some other human scientist as primary caretaker? Like let's just say the McCoskers or some other scientist aren't total failures in terms of taking care of Spider. And instead of letting him just run around and go neglected they actually take him in and raise him like a normal human kid would be raised (or as close as they could get to "normal" on Pandora)? I imagine he'd probably be a loss less connected to the Na'vi and Ewya, since his caretakers obviously wouldn't be too happy with a human kid running around on a planet where pretty much everything could potentially kill him. Would he even be called "Spider" or use his human name? And how would he react to the RDA and Quaritch coming back? On one hand the scientists aren't the biggest fans of them, so he could still be apprehensive to them. On the other hand many of them still defected when they had the chance (if we go by the comics), so you'd think it reasonable that a Spider who was raised by them would hold some sympathy for the RDA? Idk, human!Spider is just a weird thought that won't leave me.

you're one of the best ppl posting and still talking about Spider,

Awww you're making me blush! I'm glad people are interested in what I have to say!

That's a really interesting question! Let me give you my thoughts on what Spider would be like if he were raised by loving parents (warning, this basically devolves into an outline for a fanfic by the end lol):

first off, he's losing the dreads. I'm not gonna say anything about whether or not white people should have dreadlocks, bc I'm not qualified to touch that subject with a 10 foot pole, but regardless of the race thing, it is painfully obvious that Spider's hair is neglected. Just look at it compared to Jake's dreadlocks. Spider's are all different lengths/thicknesses, they're grown out at the roots, and there's little wisps of loose hair sticking out everywhere. They're really poorly maintained, and no decent parent is gonna let their kid walk around looking like they've never seen a hairbrush. Even though Spider isn't as close with the Na'vi in the AU, he will still be heavily inspired by them, so his hair will be something Like Kiri's except curly and blond of course: shoulder length, decorated with little braids and beads, and messy but still healthy and cared for.

He also wouldn't paint himself blue anymore. If he ever got that idea into his head, his foster parents would immediately shut it down and tell him he's perfect just the way he is, it doesn't matter that he's human. Also, he wouldn't wear a loincloth, but he would probably still show a lot of skin, like cut off shorts and tank top or going shirtless a lot. Kind of like how Norm's avatar dresses. He also still has Omaticaya jewelry gifted to him by his friends.

And speaking of his friends, Spider is still good friends with the Sully kids, he's just not as close, and he doesn't have the weird "stray pet" vibe anymore. Spider hangs out with Kiri and Lo'ak, but only in the afternoons after spending most of the day doing chores and upkeep tasks around Hell's Gate and socializing with the other humans. Neytiri is also much more civil to him in this AU since she doesn't feel like Spider is intruding into her family as much.

I also think Spider's personality would be pretty much the same. He's still the same outgoing, mischievous kid, but some of his interests are different. He still speaks fluent Na'vi and knows how to use a bow and survive in the woods, but he's now more tech savvy from helping his parents keep Hell's Gate running and he also has an interest in gunships. His mother was a pilot, so I imagine human!Spider to want to follow in her footsteps. The humans have a few working gunships as seen in THG and ATWOW, and Spider's greatest dream is to fly one. When he's old enough his foster parents agree to let Ming, a resistance pilot, teach him how to fly and Spider is immediately in love with it. This is way better than playing passenger princess on Kiri's banshee! He even sneaks Kiri and Lo'ak out for joyrides, but none of their parents are thrilled when they get caught ha ha.

As for his name, he still goes by Spider. He got the nickname because he liked climbing when he was little, and that won't change because he has parents now. Plus, the scientists and other humans have reasons to avoid Quaritch's name too, so Spider it is.

Now onto the interesting part: what happens when the RDA comes back?

First off this is going to depend on if Spider's parents choose to defect back to the RDA like the McCoskers or if they choose to stay and fight like Norm and Max.

If Spider's family chose to stay, then the story stay more or less stays the same: Spider goes to goof off with his friends in the forest, gets kidnapped and interrogated, Q steps in and uses him as a translator/guide since he is still knowledgeable about the Na'vi way, and Spider is ultimately rescued by Lo'ak and Neteyam. The only difference is that Spider's parents will be extremely upset and maybe make a few unsuccessful attempts to get him back. I even still think Spider would choose to save Quaritch. He wouldn't have bonded with Q as much since he has a healthy parental relationship to compare him to, but he still might feel obligated to save him since Q saved his ass twice. And then Spider would go back to his foster parents at high camp instead of presumably sticking with the Sullies in Awa'atlu.

BUT ON THE OTHER HAND, what happens if Spider's foster family chose to defect?

This idea gets a little bit more interesting methinks

Cause even if Spider's parents are much nicer than the McCoskers, I could still see why they might choose to defect, especially if they had or adopted other children. TBH before McCosker betrayed Jake, I understood where he was coming from about defecting to the RDA, it's really hard for humans to survive out there, nevermind when there's a war going on and you have younger kids to worry about. So I could totally see Spider's parents choosing to defect for the sake of their family, even if they cared for the Na'vi.

Spider would still be very upset. He's friends with the Na'vi and Norm and Max and all the other loyalist scientists. He doesn't want to be forced to join the organization that's trying to kill them all! But he can't bear to leave his parents, so he eventually gives a teary goodbye to Kiri and Lo'ak and surrenders to the RDA with the other humans.

He gets... a surprisingly warm welcome. He's the son of the "great war hero" Miles Quaritch. Have you ever watched The Boys? You know how when Homelander brings his son, Ryan, to Vought their reaction is to use him for propaganda? Selfridge and co try to do that with Spider. They try to get him to play the part of a brave little boy who survived years of captivity with na'vi terrorists before escaping back to civilization, and the only reason he survived is because the memory of his dear old dad kept him going 🥺🥺🥺. Spider is having none of it of course and speaks very openly about his care for the Na'vi. Spider's foster parents pull him aside and warn him not to speak like that and Spider grudgingly agrees to keep his opinions to himself. All the former defectors are surveilled closely for any sign of being spies.

Spider is absolutely miserable living in bridgehead away from the forest and not knowing if his friends are okay, but bridgehead presents him with a new opportunity: his dream of becoming a pilot is actually possible now. Spider is basically a nepotism baby and takes advantage of it to get into the RDA's pilot program. Yeah, he's young, but they're lightyears away from earth and its pesky child labor laws so who cares.

Older teens can survive cryosleep and some RDA employees bring their children to Bridgehead to participate in training programs like what Spider's doing, so for the first time in his life Spider makes human friends his own age. He learns about the dire state of earth from them, and starts to feel more sympathetic to the humans stuck there. He wonders if there's a way to build sustainable human colonies in the uninhabited areas of Pandora and make peace between humans and na'vi. Spider dreams of climbing the ranks of the RDA and changing the direction of the company towards a future that benefits everyone...

Then a big fat blue wrench gets thrown in his plans: the clone of Miles Quaritch wakes up.

Nobody told Spider a clone with his dads memories is walking around and Quaritch never thinks to ask about what happened to his son, so the two go a week or two without knowing about the other, until they happen to run into each other on the flight line when the recoms go out on their first test run. Spider instantly picks Quaritch out of the group of recoms and realizes who he is. He's horrified, remembering all the stories Jake told him. Quaritch notices a baby-faced pilot staring at him out of the corner of his eye, but thinks nothing of it, assuming the guy is new to Pandora and shocked to see recombinants. Spider wants nothing to do with this Quaritch, so he tries to slink away without Quaritch noticing. Unfortunately, one of Spider's coworkers calls out to him "hey Socorro!" for something. Quaritch hears the name, recognizes it, and does a double take. He takes a closer look at Spider and notices a resemblance to Paz Socorro. Spider is glaring daggers at him, but Quaritch keeps studying and finally notices the name on Spider's uniform, confirming Quaritch's suspicion.

Quaritch awkwardly tries to approach Spider, but Spider is having none of it and runs off.

There's no time to chase spider down, so Quaritch goes on his mission. They encounter the Sully kids, but the kids successfully escape and no one is left behind. Quaritch returns to bridgehead frustrated but excited at the prospect of Jake having four huge weak spots to target. Unbeknownst to them, this prompts Jake and his family to flee to Awa'atlu.

After the mission, Quaritch later tracks down Spider's foster parents to their apartment (or whatever people in Bridgehead live in?) and speaks with the family. While talking to them, Quaritch realizes Spider's parents really care about him, and he decides it's for the best if he stays out of Spider's life. He never wanted to be a dad, and Spider made it clear he's uninterested in him, so Quaritch thanks the foster parents for raising Spider and they go their separate ways.

Spider is perfectly content to pretend the recom doesn't exist until he gets wind of Quaritch's mission: to hunt down and kill Jake Sully.

Spider can't bear the thought of Jake and his family being hunted down by Quaritch, and he realizes he's in a position to do something about it. So Spider cooks up a plan...

Meanwhile, Quaritch is going through the motions, doing his best to pretend he doesn't care he and Spider have gone their separate ways before truly getting to know each other. One day, after hours stuck in briefings with Ardmore and the other higher ups, he comes back to the recom barracks to find Spider just casually hanging out with his soldiers like he belongs there.

Quaritch reacts with what outwardly looks like anger (but he's just lashing out because he's surprised and is still hurting deep down over Spider rejecting him) and asks what the hell the kid is doing here. The recoms explain Spider noticed their braids are very poorly maintained while they were doing PT and offered to teach them how to properly care for their Kurus and keep the hair clean and braided. It turns out, the RDA didn't teach the recoms a lot of stuff about being Na'vi, so Spider ended up giving an impromptu lesson on Na'vi biology and how to care for their new bodies. Spider eagerly offers to hang out and teach the recoms more stuff about being Na'vi but Quaritch gets mad and shoos him away, despite the recoms protesting. They thought Spider was funny, and he's one of the only humans who acts normal around them in their blue bodies. But they can't argue with the boss.

To Quaritch's chagrin, Spider keeps randomly showing up with the recoms. One day he's teaching them Na'vi language, another day he's teaching them about edible plants, etc, etc. The recoms love him, and they indulge Spider's lessons even though Quaritch keeps telling him to stay away. Spider's parents also encourage Spider to stay away from the recoms, because they knew their original human selves and know they're capable of horrible violence even though they seem friendly and funny at first. It doesn't work.

Quaritch eventually snaps and asks Spider what he's trying to do here. Spider panics because he can't let them know this is part of his plan to protect Jake and co, so he blurts out the first thing he can think of. He tells Quaritch he changed his mind about wanting to get to know him, but he didn't know how to say that so he's been using his lessons as an excuse to be around Quaritch more. Quaritch is secretly touched but doesn't show it. He tells Spider he still thinks its better if Spider just sticks with his foster family. But Spider baits Quaritch with the promise of showing them how to tame ikran. The recoms overhear the last part of the conversation and beg Quaritch to let Spider show them how to get banshees. Quaritch reluctantly agrees.

A few days later, they set out for their first time in the jungle, and Spider proves himself invaluable. He's much more knowledgeable than the recoms, and more dependable than searching up info on their data pads. Quaritch realizes keeping Spider around might be a good idea, so after they all tame their banshees, Q offers to make Spider their official translator and guide. Spider enthusiastically agrees.

Over the next couple of months, Spider teaches the recoms how to go "full Na'vi," and really bonds with Quaritch. He even spends the night in the recom barracks a couple of times. Quaritch almost starts to feel like a second dad. Spider's parents try to talk him out of it multiple times, suspecting what he's doing, but Spider is adamant. Against his better judgement, he actually starts to like Quaritch and the recoms, and the "act" he puts on becomes more and more real as time goes on. Spider starts to think he might be able to talk Quaritch out of hunting Jake and work towards a peaceful solution.

Baby boy gets his bubble burst real fast tho :')

Quaritch gets the tip about a rogue gunship flying towards the reef tribes and asks Spider to fly with him as a translator (Spider's parents are not thrilled about this since it means Spider will be away from them for an unknown amount of time, but they have no control over Quaritch). Spider agrees, thinking they're just going to ask the eyktan some questions, nothing more. And it starts that way... but the recoms quickly become more and more aggressive when they realize they're not getting any real answers. Before Spider knows it, they're burning maruis and holding the tsahik at gunpoint. Spider only just barely talks Quaritch out of killing anyone.

After that, Spider and Quaritch have a very ugly fight that ends with Spider furiously yelling through tears and Quaritch coldly telling Spider getting to know each other was a mistake. Quaritch tells him his job as a translator is over and tomorrow he'll fly him back to Bridgehead to stay with his parents and they will never work with each other again (Quaritch immediately regrets this, he wants spider to stay with him, but he refuses to take back his words).

Spider is so distraught by everything that he videocalls his parents that night in his room aboard the Sea Dragon. His parents comfort Spider and tell him this is for the best. Now Spider can focus on becoming a pilot and having a bright future with the RDA

But the bubble is burst and Spider can't turn back. He knows now that peace between Na'vi and humans is impossible as long as the RDA is around. He also learns about the tulkun-hunting for amrita around this time, further cementing his belief. He doesn't want a future with the RDA. He wants to join the resistance.

Spider can't speak openly because they suspect the RDA spies on their video calls, but after some time to think on it he calls his parents again and tells them he's changed his mind and wants to stay with Quaritch. His parents know damn well Spider is not onboard with the recom's mission and they suspect he has a plan to interfere with the recoms mission. They immediately try to shut Spider down and tell him to just come back home. They remind him how things have been better, how they're slowly being allowed privileges and better pay, and how Spider can fulfill his dream of being a pilot like Paz.

But Spider knows in his heart he has to do the right thing, even if it risks himself and his parents. He ends up having a fight with them. His dad threatens to tip off ardmore but spider knows he won't actually do it since it would put Spider's life in danger. His mom starts crying and begs him not to do something stupid. It breaks his heart, but spider can't ignore the injustice of the rda. He can't fall in line and pretend he doesn't know about the war crimes and violence. Spider furiously calls them both cowards and hangs up on them. He feels like absolute shit, he's lost his connection with 3 of his parental figures in one day, but he won't change his mind.

The next day he approaches wainfleet, the recom who's the most indulgent with him, and apologizes for freaking out yesterday. He says he talked about what happened with his parents, and now he understands that the recoms have no choice but to be harsh on the natives. Jake is a dangerous terrorist threatening the safety of humanity, and anything is justifiable for the safety of humanity.

Wainfleet and the other recoms are ready to welcome Spider back with open arms. They miss their little mascot and the RDA translators suck compared to him. But Quaritch isn't as easily fooled by Spider's act. Quaritch grills Spider more about his sudden change of heart, and Spider scrambles for something to convince him. He ends up saying that he doesn't want to go back to bridgehead and never see him again. Even though he doesn't agree with his methods, he's still his dad and he wants to be near him. (Spider tells himself he's lying but that's not true) (Quaritch tells himself he doesn't care but it's also not true). Quaritch begrudgingly lets Spider have a second chance, claiming its only because the RDA translators suck.

It kills Spider inside, but he plays along as translator, doing as Quaritch asks. He can't stand to see the villagers suffer, but by cooperating, Quaritch is more likely to listen to him, so he's able to talk Q out of killing/maiming anyone at the bare minimum. Quaritch is secretly thrilled to have Spider back and cooperating, but it's not the same. Spider cooperates, but the real connection they had before is gone. Spider is a physically affectionate kid and a jokester, but that's gone now. He no longer reaches out to grab onto Quaritch when he's close by or tease him like he used to. Quaritch misses it, but he thinks it will come back with time.

By cooperating, Spider builds up trust with Q and the Sea Dragon crew and he starts performing espionage. Since he grew up in Hell's Gate working with the other humans, he is much more knowledgeable about machines and how to damage them without it being obvious he did it. He starts with small things, like sabotaging some of the guns on a whaling submarine, but constantly keeps his eyes open for new ways to undermine the RDA. His master plan is to completely cripple the engine of the Sea Dragon, at which point he'll steal a small boat and slip away in the night. If he pulls it off correctly, no one will even realize he's gone until the next morning, at which point he'll be long gone. He hopes he'll be able to find a Na'vi village and convince them he's on their side so they'll take him to Jake. Spider "borrows" a distracted crew members laptop by learning their password and secretly downloads important RDA intel onto a USB (or whatever they use in the future to store data) and plans to give it to Jake after he makes his daring escape.

Spider doesn't call his parents throughout this time, still angry that they're content to live under the RDA's rule. Then it sinks in on him that he may never see them again whether his plan succeeds (cause he won't have a way to contact them from the resistance) or fails (cause he'll probably be executed on the spot). After a week or so, Spider is almost ready to cripple the engine, steal the data, and escape. The night before he enacts the final stage of his plan, he tries to call his parents one last time but chickens out at the last second. Instead, he records a video telling them he loves them and he's sorry and sends it. Immediately, his parents try to call him, but Spider shuts his tablet off. He exits his cabin and takes a deep breath. It's time to enact his plan.

Immediately, a lanky blue wrench gets thrown in the plan

As Spider makes his way across the upper deck, waiting for an opportunity to sneak down into the engine room, he sees Quaritch and Cupcake flying back with a net dangling from her claws. Inside the net is Lo'ak and a reef na'vi. The plan he spent weeks carefully constructing has gone out the window and Spider is in a full blown panic.

As Lo'ak and the reef girl are thrown on the deck, Spider runs through all the soldiers and goes straight to his friend, asking if he's okay... only to get punched in the gut. Spider folds like a lawn chair from the Na'vi sized punch and collapses on the deck. For a moment he thinks his mask is broken because he can't breathe, but it's just the wind knocked out of him. Even in his pain, he can tell Lo'ak held back his full strength with the punch. Lo'ak screams at him, with tears streaming down his face and Quaritch grabs him before he can do anything to Spider again. Lo'ak cries and accuses Spider of betraying them. Spider realizes rumors of his cooperation as Quaritch's translator must've gone around and now the Sullies think he's on Quaritch's side. Spider tries to soothe Lo'ak, but there's nothing he can say in front of Quaritch. Quaritch drags Lo'ak and the girl downstairs and locks them up in a storage room. He later comes back and comforts a distraught Spider, not realizing Spider is upset because he doesn't know how to rescue Lo'ak, not because Spider was scared by his former friend jumping him.

Spider decides to try and cripple the engine and free Lo'ak and the reef girl on the way out. He sneaks down to the engine room, he starts his sabotage, but he gets caught by some RDA employees. They run over to stop him and Spider thinks he's done for, when all of a sudden BOOM! Something huge hits the ship! Spider gets completely knocked off his feet and he accidentally starts a fire in the engine room, which is extremely dangerous since it could cause a big explosion. There's no more time for being sneaky, now he has to haul ass and pray he can get Lo'ak and himself out in time.

When he runs back topside, he finds chaos. Reef Na'vi on flying fish are attacking left and right, and there is also a tulkun fighting??? Now Spider knows what knocked the ship but he doesn't know why this tulkun isn't a pacifist like the others. He doesn't know where Quaritch is and he doesn't have time to wonder.

Spider runs down and finds Lo'ak and the girl guarded by two soldiers. He surprises them with a fire extinguisher attack and frees them. Thankfully it doesn't take Lo'ak long to be convinced Spider is on his side since he just gave two soldiers potentially deadly brain damage.

They run for their lives. Spider tries to lead them to the boat he planned to sneak out on that night, but they run into Wainfleet and some recoms, who start chasing them and they're forced to double back. They end up jumping into the moon pool to escape.

The water is even more chaotic than the air: there's submarines, ilu, tsurak, and the rogue tulkun fighting in every direction. The reef girl calls for an ilu and the three of them cling for dear life as they're guided through the underwater battle. They barely make it away from the sea dragon before the engine blows and the giant ship starts to sink, only adding to the chaos.

A submarine spots them and comes after them. It shoots a balloon thing into the ilu and the kids get scattered. They're separated from the reef girl, but Lo'ak and Spider manage to hide in the seaweed long enough to make it to a small rocky island near the battle.

As they're frantically trying to figure out what to do next, a banshee flies over out of nowhere and they realize it's Quaritch. Quaritch heard what Spider did to the ship and realizes Spider's been playing them this whole time. He's furious. Spider has never seen Quaritch look at him like that and he's terrified. The boys try to fight back but Quaritch overpowers them both and cuffs them, handling them very roughly.

Lo'ak tries to talk bravely and warns Quaritch that the Na'vi will overwhelm the humans and kill them all, so he should go ahead and run. Sure enough, when they look at the battle, the Na'vi appear to be winning. But then, In the distance, they see a small gunship rapidly approaching. Quaritch laughs and points at it, telling Lo'ak the reinforcements are arriving and they'll easily overwhelm the Na'vi. Quaritch flags down the gunship and gets ready to the load the boys onto it.

As the gunship lands, Spider thinks his fate is sealed: Lo'ak will be used as a hostage to kill jake and neytiri, and Spider himself will likely be executed. He regrets not picking up the phone when his parents called. Spider doubts Ardmore would let him see them again before he's killed, so the last time he ever saw his parents was when he was fighting them and calling them cowards. He looks at the pilot and recognizes one of his friends from when he was training to be a pilot. It strikes him as odd that his friend was trusted with such an important mission. But he doesn't have much time to think about it because Quaritch harshly grabs Spider by the collar of his shirt and curses at him for betraying him. He says some pretty nasty things to Spider, about how he's a worthless traitor and shouldn't have been born (things he doesn't mean, he's lashing out because he's genuinely hurting that Spider's attempts to bond with him were all an act to get his trust, and this man does not know how to process his emotions other than being hateful). He tells Spider "you're sure as hell no son of mine"

The door to the gunship swings open, and a voice calls out "you're right, he is no son of yours."

Quaritch looks back at the ship in time to see Spider's parents climb out, armed with guns. Spider's mother fires off a warning shot and Quaritch drops Spider and backs away. Spider's father shoots Quaritch in the shoulder and Quaritch dives off the island and disappears into the sea. It's unclear if the wound was fatal or not.

Spider's parents run to their son and tearfully embrace him. They explain that when Spider called them cowards, deep down, they knew he was right. They started subtly making a plan to escape the RDA with other closeted Na'vi sympathizers, but when Spider sent his final video message, they knew they had to act. They gathered everyone and stole a gunship and made it there as fast as they could. Spider breaks down sobbing tears of relief. He thought he would die before he would get to tell his parents he loved them again.

Jake, Neytiri, and the rest of the Sully family find them on the rock as the fighting dies down. The Sullies, Spider, and ragtag group of RDA-defectors retreat to Awa'atlu before the real reinforcements show up. They have a big celebration and the Sullies vouch for Spider and help him explain he only acted as Quaritch's translator to prevent bloodshed and to build up trust to destroy the Sea Dragon. Spider's dad apologizes to Jake for choosing to defect to the RDA, knowing how they hurt the Na'vi. Jake waves off his apology and admits he himself has made some selfish decisions in the interest of protecting his family. Jake says he's done running and is ready to fight the RDA again. The Metkayina are a little skeptical of the new humans at first, but after hearing Tsireya's POV, they decide to allow them to stay. Tonowari and Ronal also agree to join the resistance after witnessing the brutality of the tulkun hunts and having their daughter kidnapped. Spider shares his USBs of stolen intel and it proves extremely helpful in taking down the RDA.

Lo'ak, Kiri, and Spider spend all night talking, overjoyed to be reunited again. In the morning they promise to show Spider all the amazing things in Awa'atlu. They also offer to let Spider sleep in their marui, but Spider declines. His parents brought inflatable atmo-pods for the human defectors to sleep in so they can remove their masks. Spider finds the one his parents are in.

Spider hasn't slept with his parents since he was a little kid, but that night he sleeps curled up with them. A small little family, united by their determination to stand up for whats right 💙

Kudos to you if you made it to the end ha ha. I started writing and I just couldn't stop!

#cyren myadd writes #avatar #avatar fanfiction #spider soccoro sully #miles quaritch #avatar spider #avatar miles quaritch

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generalluxun · 5 months ago

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Chloe goes back in time AU in terms of enemies, who does chloe see as her worst enemies an people she despises the most, I go in the order of her parents, ladybug, hawkmoth, later adrien and Sabrina and then rest.

For why her parents first, well she built herself after them in terms of looks, mannerism and personality all her life out of the believe they genuinely love her and treasure her, only to realize that they despise her and believe her a waste of time only useful for an ego boost.

Ladybug and hawkmoth for different reasons, the first one who I can guarantee chloe truly admired in her life outside her parents and who broke her heart and made her feel used, the second one who well just use as his personal attack dog all time wether she want it or not.

Adrien and Sabrina, I get she would think of them as false friends who stuck with her for lack of options and always despise her, but never actually voiced.

The rest of the people in are more in her mind back room noise at best ignored.

Special mention goes to Zoe who just like her parents convinced for a while that they were family and like adrien and Sabrina only stood by her side out of lack of options.

Different people have different reactions. Ranking isn't quite easy though some more intense than others. (These are all Chloe's opinions, not objective truths)

Her Father- The ultimate betrayal. He was her parent for most of her life. most of what she knows, she learned from him. He abused his power, so she abused his power. She did everything 'right' and it failed her. As soon as Zoe showed up he replaced her, up to and including banishing her. Her contempt for him was mimickry of her mother before, now it is genuine.

Her Mother- Her mother doesn't love her and is cruel to her. Chloe tried to be everything her mother wanted and it wasn't enough. Chloe is more sad than angry at her mother, but since sadness turns to anger with her often, it's angry too.

Zoe- Zoe cheated and betrayed her. Chloe took Zoe in and tried to teach her all the rule that Chloe had lived by. She 'caimed' Zoe when a lot of kids wouldn't touch some rando from overseas with a 10 foot pole at age 14. Zoe's betrayal works in two ways. One is that Zoe obviously picked the others over Chloe, the second is that Zoe didn't follow any of the rules and she still 'won'. That's not how it works. That being nice could work runs counter to everything Chloe knows and has experienced herself, so it causes her pain to think about it.

Ladybug- Chloe idolized her, and Ladybug abandoned her. Chloe made genuine efforts to be a good hero, she fought to protect others. She backed up her comrades when they were in danger. She rejected Hawkmoth! And... she was abandoned for it. Chloe sees Ladybug as 'fake' and two faced(which you now ties into everyone else too) She wants LAdybug to acknowledge her screw up more than anything else. She wants to show she's a better hero than Ladybug.

Marinette- They've been rivals (Derision isn't canon) forever, and Marinette won. Marinette 'stole' Adrien. Marinette went from being picked on, to picking on Chloe. Losing hurts. This isn't an extremely deep cut though honestly.

Adrien- False friend, someone who went right for others the moment he got a chance. How many times did they hang out in canon? Zero? One? Maybe? Both Zoe and Adrien basically did the same thing on different time scales. She doesn't hate him, she's hurt and angry.

Sabrina-Sabrina's backstab hurts. Chloe *does* know deep down that she was pushing Sabrina too hard. She had developed a deeper set of insecurities after Miracle Queen and so leaned even harder into emulating her mother. She doesn't know what else she could have done though, so she blames Sabrina some for leaving. She thinks the underhanded sneaky betrayal was terrible too. How can she trust Sabrina, knowing betrayal lurks in her heart? This breaking-off hurts the most out of everything though. She misses Sabrina.

Hawkmoth- He's a jerk. She would punch him in the face if she could. Same with Mayura. There's not much deep here. It's just contempt for a couple of losers.

Lila- Chloe knows in a nebulous way that Lila tricked her... somehow. She isn't smart enough to sift through it all, so it's a vague sense. She was wary of Lila before she hit her low point in S5, she's back on being wary. She doesn't think Lila has anything to offer her. All she did was lose things once she got involved with Lila.

Others-Vague sense of 'you are lame and always hated me' all her other anger/emotions are clouding up the fact they MAY have had reasons for it. None of them come up to direct ire though it's just 'Keep away from me, you suck.'

Did I miss anyone?

Felix-Oh, F that guy. She hates him. He always tricked her.

#ask #Chloe goes back in time AU #chloe bourgeois #andre bourgeois #audrey bourgeois #marinette dupain cheng #adrien agreste #zoe lee #sabrina raincomprix #et al

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cherrytimemachine · 4 months ago

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Can I have a breakdown of Prima? :3

Finally, I have an excuse to talk about the Thirteen. Thank you, anon. >:)

How I feel about this character: Strict and unyielding, Prima was the ever vigilant leader of the Thirteen. Raised from a young age to be the guiding force behind her team (yes my Prima is a girl, though she does use she/they), she developed a rigid standard for rules and was quite stubborn in the face of criticism against her. She was committed to fulfilling her destiny as given to her by Primus, who she considers a father to her, and she would do anything to make him proud. After the downfall of the Guiding Hand, she became colder and distrustful of others. She took over as the leader of Crystal City (Cybertron's original capital until it was changed to Iacon by Nova Prime) and claimed it as her territory. She'd always been more independent from the others, but her judgements of them could at times be quite harsh, especially towards Megatronus, who she deemed a reckless liability. She wouldn't realize how much of a role she played in the Schism (the downfall of the Thirteen) until it was too late.

All the people I ship romantically with this character: I don't think she'd touch romance with a 10 foot pole. She preferred being alone more than anything, as she felt security in being able to have total control over her own decisions. She'd be pretty difficult to have a relationship with anyway. She's a control freak and refuses to do anything that isn't by her standards. You might as well try migrating to a new planet, because Prima ain't budging.

My non-romantic OTP for this character: Despite the popular belief among the Thirteen, Prima does in fact care about them, in her own way. Her criticism is justified in her mind, because she thinks she's trying to show them the right way. Really, only Vector, Alpha Trion, and the Thirteenth understand her point of view. She doesn't explain her thought process unless it's about strategy or debating, so her personal motives are a mystery to most people.

She gets along most with Vector and Alpha Trion. They take their positions seriously and don't engage in much tomfoolery, so they're a more mature and favorable company in her book.

Out of all of them, she's the most protective of Thirteen. Thirteen is shy and hates it when their friends argue, and Prima's impression of them is a naive optimist. They're more knowledgeable and aware than Prima gives them credit for. The two still have a nice relationship though. Prima is a guiding force for Thirteen, and Thirteen has been known to convince Prima to soften her position on more than one occasion.

The last person she's really affiliated with is Onyx. They both share an appreciation for spiritually and the nature of treating sparks, both born and dead, with utmost care. Their tribes made an alliance a long time ago, and the mutual respect persists to the present day among their descendants.

My unpopular opinion about this character: The Thirteen needs to be in more stuff. Not just in books or in flashbacks or vague murals, I want them in a story with actual interactions. I want to see them battle Unicron, that would be lit. I want to see her flaws showcased to a wider audience. Megatronus gets the most negative attention out of all of them, followed closely by Liege Maximo, and Megatronus hadn't done anything to initially give Prima a reason to dislike him. She considered him the most like Unicron, and it shows how judgemental she is and how her biases affect the way she treats her team.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: If she was even present in canon aside from being a legend. I wouldn't bank on it, but since there seems to be more focus on Quintus with the Earthspark series, it's possible that we will be able to see all of the Thirteen in all their demi god glory one day.

Also: let there be more gender variety in the Thirteen, for the love of god. I love Solus, don't get me wrong, but I feel like they did her dirty by making her the only girl for the sake of the angsty love triangle thing with Megatronus, Liege, and also Nexus for some reason. You cannot tell me that wasn't the reason for her being female. Just- let there be more women. Gender expression and its fluidity is a vital part of the Transformers species, and it should show in the early creation period.

I have many thoughts on the Thirteen and the Guiding Hand, so please feel free to ask about them!

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thejakeformerlyknownasprince · 2 years ago

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What if Jake had been in town when the Garaton Inspector came by?

Honestly, Rachel's plan in #37 is not bad. It's a good idea to attack Visser Three while he's feeding, and a good idea to convince the Council of Thirteen to get rid of him — he's the yeerk pushing hardest to wipe out 95% of humans to make the remaining 5% easier to enslave. Rachel perceives herself as reaching the highest highs of hubris before dropping to the lowest lows of incompetence... but as Jake points out, she fixes her own mistakes the best she can and comes out on par with his usual performance. She's not good at listening to her team, but she's not actually the terrible leader she sees herself as being.

So. I think Jake, if there, would suggest attacking Visser Three while feeding. And then he'd agree with Rachel's idea of a hit-and-run blitz to make the visser look bad to the inspector. That said, Jake wouldn't make Rachel's mistake of telling everyone to use the same battle morph. There are times when Jake is guilty of thinking big cats are superior to all other morphs (#2, #11), just like Rachel mistakenly assumes bears are superior in #37, but Jake also excels at recognizing others' strengths.

I also think Jake would attack the one place Rachel doesn't: his own house. Rachel knows Tom's there alone in #37, but the other Animorphs tend not to touch Tom with a 10-foot pole because they know he's Jake's berserk button. Jake wouldn't want to trash his own house, but I could also see him getting defensive about not targeting Tom and declaring that it's time to go break his parents' shit and lightly injure his brother.

There might not be a final confrontation in the yeerk pool, without Rachel's mistake with the all-bear team. In which case, the inspector might survive, but garatrons might get used as hosts, but Visser Three might get removed, but someone worse might replace him. As Jake and Rachel conclude at the end: it's a wash, but at least they all lived to tell the tale.

#animorphs #animorphs meta #37 #the weakness #rachel berenson #jake berenson #fwiw i fully disagree with the /r/animorphs take #that this book is all about why rachel isn't leader because she's too impulsive/wrathful/arrogant #i think this book is about rachel realizing that jake's just fumbling his way through at 400 miles an hour #that there's no such thing as a Great Man; much less a perfect leader #that there are only people who try to *deny* their mistakes and people who try to *fix* their mistakes #and the fact that she knows about so many of jake's mistakes is a sign he's doing something right

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rougekithes · 2 years ago

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Bronya and Natasha too ngl

While the girlies on the dash wanna step on Gepard, I'll go ahead and let Serval step on me then.

#its so funny #I wouldn't touch most of the genshin women with a 10 foot pole #meanwhile hsr women have me go like #hello Ma'am how can i be of service for you? <3 #I MEAN #I'll fuck Beidou and Raiden #Eula too but only if she keeps her mouth shut #I'll only lick Shenhe and Dehya's boots

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retromotherfuckers · 9 months ago

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OBX Rock Band AU (headcanon)

Characters:

jj maybank, john b routledge, pope hayward, kiara carrera, sarah cameron

Word Count:

~700

A/N:

i have no idea if this has been done before but the idea came to me the other night in the shower lol. i’m in a band so you can guess what i loosely based this on

JJ - Drums

is my opinion biased on this one? probably

my favorite band member and character

the one with the most problems

drinks a little too much, stoner

personal life in shambles most of the time

once he found the drums as an outlet he dove into it, eventually becoming an intensely devoted musician

that drum set has seen some things

jj lets his anger out on that poor, innocent drum set

all the different pieces have had to be replaced so many times because he beats the living shit out of them

the one that got john b into rock music and the rest was history

he's not one of the chill drummers who just shows up and does their thing, this man is a show-off

so many tricks

long solos whenever the chance arises for one

flirts with the entire band

music genres: rock, grunge, alt, metal

bands/artists: Sex Pistols, Led Zeppelin, AC/DC, Nirvana, Guns N’ Roses, Def Leppard

John B - Lead Vocals/Rhythm Guitar

a no-brainer. this is practically canon

no i will not be hearing opposing opinions at this time

he's the frontman

the one most people's eyes are drawn to right away

controls the vibe in the room

him and jj put on a show

stoner

is naturally a gifted singer, but had a vocal coach for a little while to get some pointers

rhythm guitar because most rock songs need at least two guitars and he's played guitar since he was a kid just for fun

music genres: country, rock, alt, pop when jj isn't around

bands/artists: The Rolling Stones, Paramore, Fall Out Boy, Aerosmith, Taylor Swift, Johnny Cash

Pope - Lead Guitar/Band Manager

he's just there to vibe but also an incredibly skilled guitarist

the one that tries extremely hard to keep everyone on track, but can't because no one listens to him

also the one that found kiara and Sarah

he's classically trained, but he only did classical as a kid because that's what he thought the smart kids were supposed to do

he plays like Slash: relatively controlled body language, but his fingers fly back and forth on the frets

music nerd

everyone can tell he loves what he's doing

manager because who else would manage these fools?

music genres: rock, alt, indie rock

bands/artists: Falling in Reverse, Foo Fighters, Arctic Monkeys, Green Day, Hozier, The Killers, The 1975

Kiara - Bass

i will not be accepting arguments on this one

she 100% grew up on cello, but wanted to rebel against her parents as a teen and switched to rock but realized she fucked with it

this girl is hot as all hell and knows it, but has nothing to prove

she's one of the more responsible members of the group but also super laid-back

stoner

effortlessly keeps everyone in check

she just wants to vibe and play some songs

flirts with the entire band

weird, hippie, earthy screams bass player

music genres: indie rock, r&b, pop punk, anything from the '60s and '70s

bands/artists: Janis Joplin, The Strokes, Young The Giant, Hozier, Paramore, Joan Jett, Whitney Houston

Sarah - Backup Vocals

she was definitely an attention seeker in her young years and would've hated backup, but now she's perfectly content chilling in the background with some killer harmonies

she has a few songs she leads in the set when john b needs a rest

she absolutely KILLS them

but she loves playing with the melody and adding a harmony on something that you wouldn't expect

this girl has perfect pitch so harmonizing takes about 3% effort from her

if a song is too low for her or too high for john b, she transposes everything (perfect pitch and all)

she will. not. touch. an electric guitar with a 10-foot pole.

don't ask, i have no explanation for that one

on the occasion a song needs keys, she's the go-to

music genres: she's a retired theatre kid so she listens to just about everything under the sun except country

bands/artists: Taylor Swift, The Beatles, Queen, Marvin Gaye, Stevie Knicks, Amy Winehouse

#outer banks #obx #obx headcanon #john b routledge #jj maybank #pope heyward #kiara carrera #sarah cameron #obx fanfiction #obx imagine #obx cast #obx fic #obx x reader #rock music #rockband au #alternate universe

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arlo-does1autism · 6 months ago

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Assigning NPMD characters monster energy flavours because I'm addicted to both

(Grace not included because she would not touch a monster can with a 10 foot pole)

Stephanie: Pipeline Punch, occasionally original but that's for the ~aesthetic~

Peter: Honestly I can't really see him drinking monster unless he had to stay up for an exam or something, in which case he'd probably get a sugar free one like Ultra White

Richie: He mostly drinks Red Bull, but if he needs something stronger (??) he'd probably drink Mango Loco or Original

Ruth: I can picture her bringing an Ultra Rósa to a tech rehearsal, but she'd probably just drink any flavour she can get

Max: Original. 100%, he originally drank Monster cause it was 'cool', but then got addicted to it (like me). Also enjoys Ultra Rósa but wouldn't admit it.

Bonus: T'noy Karaxis (human form) Likely Mango Loco, idk why, just gives off the same vibes.

#max jagerman #nerdy prudes must die #monster energy #stephanie lauter #richie lipschitz #ruth fleming #peter spankoffski #tnoy karaxis

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onemillionfurries · 3 months ago

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Binged Hazbin Hotel with my husband last night. I was going in expecting to hate it, but had a surprisingly good time. It absolutely has its issues, but there is enough meat there for me to get hooked and go "Oh GOD I wish this was better."

Rosie is my fave character and my fave episode was ep 7

I think a lot of the enjoyment came from having my husband with me and being able to pause the show and talk about it with him. If I watched this alone I would not have had nearly as good of a time or even been able to get through it. Also there are some jokes that really made me laugh.

Definitely my biggest issue with the show is how it tells instead of shows. I distinctly remember in episode 7 there was a moment where a character starts beating someone else up and I was like "Oh, she's helping her by training her." but before I could even compliment the show for having a rare "show don't tell" moment, the character just straight-up says that she's beating her up to help her 🤦‍♂️ I was so fucking pissed. We're not BABIES. I can understand character motivations without being explicitly told them!!

About the swearing. I will say that it is not nearly AS bad as I thought it would be, but it was definitely distracting. There are so many moments where a cuss was just thrown in for what feels like NO reason, and I really think Charlie should have been a character that rarely swore.

Also Adam... fucking Adam.

Adam is the most obnoxious character I have ever seen put on screen and I hope to god he doesn't return in season 2. I hope he stays dead.

I wouldn't be surprised if the show got its bad rap around swearing because of Adam. It felt like 90% of it came from him.

I love Rosie so much and I hope she gets more screen time in the future seasons. She was so kind and helpful to Charlie and I would die for her. 10/10 best character in the entire show.

The songs were ok. A lot of them just came out of absolutely nowhere though. Like characters would be talking casually and then a song would just start.

My favorite song is Charlie's from episode 7. It didn't come out of nowhere, actually furthered the plot, and was a genre that I liked.

There's probably a lot more I could say, but overall I'd give the show a 6/10. I really, REALLY hope the creators take all the constructive criticism towards this show at heart and improve in the future seasons. ESPECIALLY in the "show don't tell" aspect. I am begging you. Please. We're not 5 years old.

Also I aint touching the fandom with a 12 foot pole. I might occasionally rb fanart or something but I am NOT looking to engage with the fans.

#lab notes #cw hazbin hotel #ngl mildly terrified for my ask box after posting this

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brf-rumortrackinganon · 10 months ago

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Meghan wouldn't have had a big red carpet event (Metgala) just 10-odd days before her wedding. She also wouldn't have had a big designer on her side in 2018, since she hadn't developed those relationships yet.

Chances are that it was for Metgala 2019. I've always believed this because she was also teasing her own Vogue UK issue in the first half of 2019. (She event fuest edited the Sept 2019 Vogue UK edition).

Her partnership with cogue UK was kept super secret, but she first teased it in Dec 2018 or Jan 2019. The palace then shut it down in Feb after weeks of speculations. She was also teasing a childrens book about the Dog in Jan/Feb 2018. (This project never happened, but it may have been negotiated at some point).

I think Meghan wanted to go to the Metgala as Ed's +1 in the lead up to the Sept edition. But she had to keep it from the palace. Then she wouldn't confirm her attendance to Anna since her own due date was May. She may have thought she would have the baby in April and then jet off to the Metgala as a big reveal. But also did not confirm either way with Ed and Anna. This may have irked Anna.

Meghan and the Vogue UK team were also not exactly getting along so well. She wanted to controleverythinh, and be there for meetings when it was expected that she is guest editor only in name. She also wanted a cover but Ed talked her down as he did not like that idea. It was later spun as Meghan being humble. Meghan wanted a cover as Catherine got the cover a few years back.

Meg was allegedly a nightmare to work with. And Ed actually did not like her. Vovue also did like that this Meghan went behind the palaces back to do the project.

Meghan also may have wanted to go with Claire as a givenchy nuse (lol) since Clair was supposed to be retiring/leaving Givenchy. but Anna may have vetoed that idea as being ridiculous and unnecessary. It's not like clair is on the same level as Alexander McQueen or Karl lagerfeld etc. Knowing what happened with Claire and Givenchy at the wedding Anna may not have wanted that association at the Metgala at all.

All of the drama at the Vogue UK office may have reached Anna. To add to that Ed and Anna arnt the best of pals. So Meghan being cagey about her attendance, her outfits, her designers and insisting on being Ed's +1 as a big reveal (ie., Taking the spotlight of the gala itself) may have put off Anna. And that's why Anna blacklisted her.

Ed went on to work with King Charles for the prince's trust. But never associated with Meghan personally (except for the Oprah interview which him and his pals watched together and later told the papers about lol).

You don’t need a relationship with a designer to go to the Met Gala. If you’re “It” enough, the designers will come to you or Anna will do the networking for you. And back in April/May 2018, Meghan was “It” enough. What we know about Meghan today wasn’t known back in early 2018 so while people today wouldn’t touch her with a thirty-nine and a half foot pole, they would’ve been all over her back then, especially if there was potential for accessing Kate or the rest of the royal family through Meghan…which is why all those A-Listers showed up for the wedding. If the A-Listers showed up for the wedding, the A-Listers would’ve shown up to dress her for the Met Gala.

And Meghan absolutely would’ve done a red carpet event before her wedding. Especially if it pushed Kate, Charlotte, and new baby Louis out of the headlines — which an unexpected appearance at Met Gala 2 weeks before the wedding would have done. Especially if it fit into Meghan’s narrative about being the more glamorous, fashion-forward, sexy one vs Kate, as her PR was doing in those days.

Like I said, the whole timeline surrounding the rumor is shifty. It doesn’t make sense for Meghan to be planning to attend Met Gala 2019 since she would’ve known she couldn’t make it because of the pregnancy/baby. Especially since it is known worldwide that the Met Gala is always the first Monday of May. But on the other hand, Meghan stayed at the Mark Hotel, which where the celebs stay for the Met Gala since it’s across the street from the Met, for a reason…and that’s so in three months when we’re googling “Met Gala,” up pops the pictures and stories from Meghan’s baby shower. Like I’ve said time and time again, Meghan knows what she’s doing when it comes to PR and SEO. Or at least her people do.

I personally don’t believe Meghan was ever going to the Met Gala. Despite “modernizing the monarchy” by wearing pants/trousers (sorry, The Queen did it 11 years before Meghan even existed on this planet), Meghan just isn’t a fashionable person. She doesn’t even have her own sense of style - she wears whatever someone gives her for free and doesn’t even bother to clean her shoes, remove the tags, take off the protective plastic wrapping, snip off the tacking stitch on her coats, wear the proper sizes and undergarments, get things hemmed and tailored to fit, or steam/iron the clothes. She’s a hot fashion mess. That’s not Met Gala material. That’s not what Anna Wintour wants on her red carpet — and that’s why the 2018 version of the timeline makes sense, because it was before all of the fashion sins were committed, it was before all the behavior and attitude allegations were made that sent the Sussexes spiraling, and it was smack in the middle of Harry’s “they’re jealous of Meghan being the most popular doing things they couldn’t/wouldn’t” PR campaign.

But anons can believe whatever they want to believe. My speculation about attending in 2018 vs 2019 is just armchair-quarterbacking trying to find a version of the story that works timing-wise. And for me, 2018 is more plausible than 2019 and all the teasing/hinting at a Vogue cover afterwards can be chalked up to Meghan’s usual manifestation or Vogue scrambling to keep her happy after getting cockblocked from the Met Gala so she doesn’t target the gala or Vogue or Anna the way she’d been targeting Kate and the royal family. Game recognizes game, and Anna is a master at it.

#ask #rumors #theories #brf

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