#I would've liked to see her personality and interests

[antianakin]

I feel like fan reactions to Naboo and their elected monarch system and Padme's part in it is QUICKLY becoming as onerous as the way fans react to the Jedi and the Padawans.

"Naboo relies on children to run its government"

Does it though?

Two out of the four most canonical Naboo queens we've ever seen were fully adults as far as we can tell. Only Padme and Apailana are actually children, but Jamillia is very clearly adult and Neyutnee doesn't seem to be a child either. Padme makes a comment that obviously does tell us that she's not the first child queen nor the youngest queen ever elected, but this doesn't necessarily mean that Naboo REQUIRES its queens to be children or even that it PREDOMINANTLY elects child queens. As far as that quote tells us, Padme could literally be only the SECOND child queen ever elected. Just because she isn't the youngest ever doesn't mean there was any more than one other child queen elected before her and that one person happened to be elected younger than 14. That's just as accurate of a headcanon to make as the one that says that most queens are elected as children.

We also don't see children in any other positions of power during either TPM or TCW. The governor of Theed is clearly an older man, Palpatine is clearly an adult as the Senator (and Padme herself is an adult when SHE becomes the Senator), and there's nobody else that we ever see other than Padme and her handmaidens who is clearly a child in the scenes depicting Naboo's government. So it seems just a little unfair to claim that Naboo relies on children to run its government. EVEN IF we pretended that it only ever or mostly elected child queens, the vast majority of the people making political decisions appear to be adults still.

From a meta perspective, Naboo having child queens appears to be just another aspect of the message about the wisdom of children (note the clear foil between Padme and Palpatine as two politicians from the same planet, but she is the wise child and he is the corrupt adult). It comes up again in AOTC with Yoda asking the younglings to help Obi-Wan with his question about the missing planet and then saying that the mind of a child is wondrous. It's not some sort of hidden message about Naboo being a corrupt piece of shit hiding underneath natural beauty.

"Padme was raised to be a politician/child queen"

Was she though?

Her mother appears to be an educator and her father works in some sort of refugee organization, neither of them is a politician themselves nor are we ever told that they are, and in the deleted scenes from AOTC, we hear that they're actually not SUPER happy about Padme still being a politician because of how dangerous it is for her and would presumably prefer if she quit her job as a Senator and came back to Naboo to live a quieter life. This is an opinion they're so open about that Padme has to ask Anakin to lie about what he is and why he's traveling with her to try to keep her parents from getting anxious and when he chooses to reveal that information anyway, they instantly start talking about how much they don't like how dangerous Padme's job is. That doesn't sound like the kind of people who would've required or even encouraged Padme to go after a political job as a child. They clearly chose to SUPPORT her political interests early on, but that doesn't mean they RAISED HER with that expectation on her.

Padme appears to have chosen to become a politician and to campaign to be Queen all of her own free will and because she wanted to pursue that path for herself. Why do we need to take that agency away from her? Even if she says she believes she was too young for it and seems to regret the path she chose now that she's an adult, it doesn't mean it was FORCED upon her. The parallel between her and Anakin is RIGHT THERE, they both chose a career path that they believed was what they wanted, but the reality of it turned out to be something different than they thought and they both feel trapped within a cage of their own making. The whole point is that they can LEAVE this cage any time they want, that they made the choices that led them to where they are and they can MAKE DIFFERENT CHOICES if they want to, but some part of them clings to this path they're on rather than embrace the uncertainty of letting it go for something that could make them happier.

[doublejango]

HELLUVA BOSS SINSMAS SPOILERS, OCTAVIA EDITION-- [Spoilers below! Am tagging this as well, of course, but just in case you didn't catch the tags, this is your sign to stop now if you don't want a spoiler.]

I freaking love Octavia SO MUCH, you guys!!!! I love her, love her, love her! What a fantastically written character. And good lord, her singing voice! That was absolutely incredible. Not what I need to post about, but I had to mention it because she absolutely blew my socks off! Aaaahhh! but okay, okay, focusing and moving on.

I am 99% sure Octavia knows. Deep down. She knows that Stolas really does love her. And I think she understands, or really, truly will understand. She knows how important antidepressants are, clearly, and even if she didn't fully understand why he has them, she knows they're meaningful and that he does need them. And like, the first real "reason" she had to go see him, she immediately leapt on it. Giving him the medications--showing she cares, even if she's yelling? And she immediately moved to his defense, absolutely fearless.

Octavia loves Stolas.

She pushed back at him, yelled at him, questioned him, doubts him--all things that I really don't think she would do if he hadn't made her feel safe, loved, and wanted all her life. She can push back against Stolas, because I think she believes, on a purely subconscious level probably, an instinct born of the fact that he raised her with so much love and tenderness, that he would never hurt her, never judge her. And that is exactly how it should be, that is wonderful. Stolas instilled a sense of safety in her when it comes to him, or else she wouldn't be so honest with him, wouldn't let her pain show so clearly.

She doesn't do that with Stella and Andrealphus. She doesn't even really confront them at all, it seems. She could have been sassing them all along, snapping at them for taking her phone, for limiting her at all, but she just doesn't bother... and I think it says so much. If she really trusted Stella to have her best interests at heart, to be the loving and understanding mother--I like to think Octavia would've called her on her bs. But on some level, Octavia didn't seem to feel there was any point to confronting Stella or Andrealphus.

Only Stolas.

Because he is still the one who matters most to her, and with whom she is intrinsically safe.

She still trusts him. Even if she doesn't think she does right now, she turned to him with questions and exposed her vulnerabilities. Maybe she didn't react "logically" to his answers, but I mean, she's a teenager. She's a good kid, she's just also going through devastating heartbreak and loss right now, she's young, she's allowed to act out, act up. Yes, of course it's painful to watch, because I want our sweet Stolas to have his reunion with Via... but I think he will. I really, really think he will. It's okay that she's not ready for that time to be now. She'll get there eventually, and the two of them can be whole again <3

I think Via is too good a person to ever be fully corrupted by Stella's hatred and indifference, or Andre's casual cruelty. She has a lot of pain of her own to deal with right now, but as that heals, I choose to believe she'll see Stolas as a person too, not just as a father, not just as the one person in her life who was always there for her, but as a person. I think she'll see. She'll forgive him. And she will love him all the more deeply--

And that every day, until that day, she will love him still.

I adore her.

I adore her so much.

Adding, TLDR: I think it's so important that she feels she can safely reject him, because deep down Via knows that Stolas will never reject her, no matter what. Even now. She doesn't need to placate or tolerate him. She'll always be safe with him, and even if she doesn't know that consciously... I think she still knows.

[leonidas1754]

Mishima and Akechi act as unexpected but interesting foils, for sure, and there's a number of things to talk about in that regard, but there's one little thing I come back to time and again, and that's their names.

Specifically, how both are called their family names instead of their given names. It's a detail I didn't pick up on at first, but once I did, I've never truly stopped thinking about it.

For Akechi, it's not really a surprise from any angle. At first, he's pretty much a public-facing stranger even after talking to him some, and by the time he joins the Thieves, he's blackmailing them and the Thieves are aware he's fully planning on betraying them. Any distance Akechi keeps, familiarity he refuses, makes perfect sense in the context of his character, and it doesn't need any real explanation because of that.

Mishima, on the other hand... There's definitely a strange sort of distance he puts between himself and Joker, deliberately keeping himself at an arm's length despite being so desperate for connection, and it's really interesting to think about. Early on it's probably at least partially idol-worship and such, sure, and not changing the name used to refer to a character likely helps avoid any confusion, but still... If Mishima had just been referred to as 'Yuuki', no one really would've batted an eye. There's seemingly no reason for it. We even know Shiho more by her given name, even if it's primarily because we know her through Ann, her best friend.

It just makes me think so much about how both of these characters are so isolated by their own choosing to varying degrees. And even at the end of the game, even if you max their confidants and such, that distance is still there.

Both view Joker as an ally, someone to be trusted, perhaps, but do either every truly think of him as a friend? Akechi's reasons and motivations are all too obvious, but Mishima's are hidden, kept apart, and it kinda drives home how little we know about Mishima in the end. He's one of the Thieves' greatest supporters and assets, but he's also almost meaningless.

Akechi is the famous person put on a pedestal, the broken and isolated child already too far down the path of self-destruction with no intent of turning back, the one you learn so much about but are ultimately helpless to truly save in the ways you might want to.

Mishima is... Nothing. He's no one. You don't know anything about him that anyone else doesn't already know. Even when facing his Shadow, you don't get to learn anything new, you don't see the true depths of his heart. And even that fact is so very easy to overlook.

[ideas-on-paper]

Wow, thank you both for all that info! It certainly made me learn a lot about the Asari.

I suppose it's difficult to imagine what exactly I want to do without knowing the full context, so I'm going to give you a brief outline of my story concept and Aethyta's (potential) role in it:

My fic is going to take before and during the Morning War/Geth-Quarian War, and while most of the plot is going to be centered around my own Quarian and Geth OCs, there's a side character I dubbed "the Asari inspector" for the time being who is going to have a brief, but rather significant cameo.

Officially, she's sent to Rannoch on a "diplomatic visit", but the actual purpose is an investigation into the suspicions of illegal AI research the Citadel Council has against the Quarian government. (Which is going to be a pretty major plot point in the story.)

The reason they have to do it in this sort of "official way" is because the Quarians have very strict controls of who enters their territories. (This headcanon is sort of derived from my observation that the Quarians - like the Geth - are quite isolationist, but I like to believe that even before the Morning War, the Quarians were sort of secluded and doing their own thing in their corner of the galaxy.) You can still enter Rannoch as a foreigner, as we see with Erinya's bondmate (who, btw, is also going to have a cameo), but it's quite complicated and not too many people do it, which is why any non-Quarian on Rannoch will immediately stand out.

Now, the reason I've been considering Aethyta for the role is because she's one of the few characters confirmed to have seen unmasked Quarians. (And she would've had plenty opportunities for that if she visited Rannoch.) That being said, the concept is far from finalized - in fact, as I said, I've been considering whether Asari/Council authorities would even place her in that position, and I can totally see how her personality might not be the most suited for it. (Especially since the Asari inspector is going to have some interactions with an OC of mine who is the textbook example of a sycophant; needless to say, he'd drive Aethyta up the wall.)

However, I think you might actually given me a great idea how to solve this - currently, I'm at the point where I need to decide whether I want to create an OC for the role of the Asari inspector or cast Aethyta for it. However, given what @dr-jekyl said above, I could almost see myself doing both - maybe Aethyta accompanies an actual Asari diplomat as an assistant/bodyguard so she can gather intelligence?

Anyway, the whole story is still very much in development at this point - I created an info sheet I shared with my betas, since I wanted to gather some feedback from ME enthusiasts before moving ahead with it; actually, if you're interested, I can send you the link as well.

Also: Like I said, I'm extremely specialized in my knowledge of ME lore. I'm fairly confident in my knowledge about the Geth and Quarians, but I might have "blind spots" regarding the other species. However, since the Quarians' interactions with other races are also something I want to take into account, I really want to get this right, so please don't hold back with pointing out any lore-related issues! :-)

(The only thing that might be a problem is that I've only shared the link with my betas via DMs so far; @crapeaucrapeau if you're interested, maybe it would work if I sent it to you as an ask?)

The New Aethyta Lore from Mass Effect : The Official Cocktail Book (yes I'm doing that you can't stop me)

Immense thanks to @felassan for the work !

"And do take your Citadel recommendations with a grain of salt when you’re there (barring the guide currently in your hands, of course). Especially ones coming from the hotshot human Spectre making the rounds – that one will endorse anything for a discount."

PERSONAL HISTORY

"Nine hundred years (give or take)" ; in a previous post, @dr-jekyl noted that in ME3, Aethyta mentions having passed the 1000-year milestone. Note that Aethyta is trying to obfuscate by using the "Ambree T'Sia" persona.

"a variety of careers and aliases later" : very Aleena/Aria. Possibly also a form of misdirection.

"Yes, I’m a criminal. I’ve been a pirate and an insurgent, and my hands are far from clean."

"Before my commando days, I started running with a krogan merc group who were looking for a biotic. I didn’t have a lot of experience with krogan back then, and I admit they were an intimidating lot. Our first night together, the boys took me out drinking and I, wanting to seem just as tough as they were, did my best to keep up. Until they started ordering Krogan Burukh."

Presumably afterward, once she had more experience with krogan but before she joined the military : "I used to run with a Battlemaster in my early days whose wit was as dry and vast as an Asterian desert. We survived an Eclipse double-cross by the skin of our teeth, and when we got back to our dingy little hideout, he toasted our fortune with a Tuchanka Sunset. His own personal recipe. He claimed the bartenders at Afterlife know how to make it, if you ask. Now, I love a good sunset drink and as such was appalled to watch him dump black rum on top of an otherwise flawless concoction. Sensing my shock, with a wry half-smile he said, “Well, yeah, wouldn’t be a sunset on Tuchanka without a choking cloud of toxic ash to ruin the view now, would it?”" => Note that Eclipse was founded in the 2170s, which is far too late for Aethyta's "early days".

Probably during those krogan times, but possibly afterward (see below) : "I still remember the young krogan merc I renamed after a night of tossing back these nutty, bubbly little things together. It’s been a while, but I do sincerely hope Urp is doing well out there."

"a former asari huntress, I left the military bureaucracy to lead a small covert unit of ex-commandos focused on espionage and assassination outside of official channels. More effective and more fun that way." => So it appears Aethyta was a soldier, rose in rank, got bored at the command level, then became a black ops squad leader for asari military intelligence. Plausible deniability and all that.

"The more I relied on bars and nightclubs to gather intel, the more connections I made with the key players. Not just the ones in the back office, but the ones slinging drinks with closed mouths and open ears. I started posing as a bartender myself and got quite good at it. Enjoyed it, even."

Possibly after she left the military bureaucracy (but see above) : "I still remember the young krogan merc I renamed after a night of tossing back these nutty, bubbly little things together. It’s been a while, but I do sincerely hope Urp is doing well out there."

At some point between 2157 and 2186 : Aethyta "once led a raid on a CAT6 outpost that nabbed enough high-end military gear to outfit my crew for a long, long time"

At some point, James Vega hit on Aethyta, who tried to make himself attractive with "pull-up contests and cute little nicknames". It worked. They had a one-night stand. Since Huevos Rancheros à la Vega are explicitly referenced later on in the book, I choose to believe he made some for Aethyta the following morning. "I also picture him cracking the eggs with his biceps, but maybe that’s just me."

PERSONAL TRAITS

As an asari bartender, really believes that you're doing a subpar job if you're not using biotics : "For that authentic touch of frost, I recommend harnessing biotics to give your stick the right amount of swizzle." See also : "Be sure to shake [the Dark Star Vespertini] well – for the nonbiotics who need to do this task manually, I liken it to the amount of time until you start to worry your arm will fall off. If it feels like you’re giving the tumbler a quick ride in an M35 Mako, you’re doing it right."

"[Blue Thessia] is my favorite [mixer] for its taste and versatility"

"But as someone who tends to move around a lot due to my… profession (I’m a master of the Asari Goodbye)" : what's that reference ? The [Nationality] Goodbye ? Do you ghost people a lot, Aethyta ?

"I tend to lead a minimalist lifestyle." Her main expenses are "Guns and bribes".

"your girl is nothing if not quick to make a quick cred"

"[Blue Thessia] is my favorite [mixer] for its taste and versatility"

Aethyta thinks she has (and likes that she has) "taste and versatility". She can't stand nonsense/bullshit.

"As a former asari commando, I’ve certainly enjoyed my fair share of loud explosions, but I pride myself on having mastered the finer, more subtle arts of combat: espionage, assassination, and superior intel."

"I’m a Matriarch with a Maiden’s tastes: I like a pretty young thing on my arm, a warm Acolyte pistol, and a heaping bowl of human ice cream. Chocolate, if you’re taking notes."

Aethyta considers that krogan poetry is "thicker and sweeter than expected". She's not a fan ; it bores her. She considers Blue Rose of Illium to be a good (read : bad) example of the genre.

Serial dramas like Dynasty of Stars (apparently infamous for its plot holes) nauseate her.

However, "This one unironically loves the Blasto franchise. The acting, the writing, the backdrops? High camp, babe. A human essayist, Sontag, wrote, “You can’t camp about something you don’t take seriously. You’re not making fun of it; you’re making fun out of it.”  And what’s more fun than adding cream to grape Pucker? It creates a hanar in every shot. Try my favorite drinking game: gather your friends, fire up Blasto Saves Christmas, and throw back a Blasto Sting every time he says, “Enkindle THIS!" - Aethyta has a Blasto-themed drinking game.

"I simply love a flair for the dramatic: thieves leaving calling cards, villains monologuing, or devils bargaining. It elevates the stale and mundane, forcing you to reconsider traditional assumptions."

About asari : "Don’t underestimate young asari. Yes, there is a strong drive for at the Maiden stage to explore and experience. Curious and restless, some look for the nearest bar to dance in. But that’s no reason to let your guard down. Many don’t realize their mistake until they’re telekinetically slammed into the nearest concrete wall." ; "We asari tend to take biotics for granted."

About salarians : "excitable", "opportunists"

About humans : "I understand humans consider [four years] quite the span of time – how quaint." Aethyta finds "human Alliance officers to be particularly dull and single-minded. So new to space, with such a short lifespan, few know how to relax and have fun."

Laments "the rigidity of turians". Later on : "Turians may be imperialistic, inflexible, stringent, and bullheaded, but I appreciate that they rarely suffer nonsense."

About hanar : "Don’t let their eminent politeness fool you. Hanar know how to party"

About quarians : "There are two things quarians do better than anyone else: curse (say it with me: bosh’tet!) and get drunk."

Not fond of batarians : "Even batarian mothers raise their kids with better manners than that." ; "I… don’t know what “other” blue meat it’s referring to. I hope it’s not asari, but I wouldn’t put anything past the batarians."

A SELECTION OF AETHYTA-ISMS

"If you like your drinks stiffer than a turian’s carapace"

About uncut batarian ale : "It’s mean, it’s green, and it will leave your insides clean."

About Doran from Flux : "this little macaroon from Irune"

A joke : "An asari, quarian, and volus walk into a bar. The bartender asks, “What can I get you?” The quarian and volus motion to the asari, “Talk to her, we’re just here for the atmosphere.”"

"Not here to judge, if you need a list of extranet sites involving romantic relationships between organics and synthetics, I can recommend a few that’ll really spin your hard drive."

There's so much lore I'm probably going to have to make a post for it.

[fierysword]

Some people are like "wHaT's ThE pOiNt oF rEmAKiNg CaRriE" I, for one, think it's great that the remakes take out all the time De Palma spent hypersexualizing teenage characters & instead used that time to give the main character a personality beyond being a victim from start to finish

[dykedvonte]

I think the most baffling thing about the Tulpar as a vessel to me is the fact that the ship really did only have a one way communication system.

I know it was cheap but even the most basic of vessels regarding major transport would have some way, shape or form for outside communication. Not only that but there was absolutely no form of innate emergency signal to show they may have been offline or in trouble despite clearly having a system to dock credits if they went off course. It's another factor that really shows that bad situations are made to get worse by design. One person who is required to relay all information to the crew and make all the choices without feedback. No way to update or call for help in case of a dire situation. No way to inform of inner personal conflicts and acquire procedures accordingly.

It really is like they are all in some sort of fucked up solitary confinement. They have their own world with strict roles that are meaningless in the end, as long as the cargo makes it, it doesn't matter what happens on that ship to the company. They don't want to hear anything and will come to conclusions on what happened based on how much pay they can withhold from the workers. Even what they do send is short, sterile and corporate to the extent it was likely written and sent out with a command by some random unmanned computer in an office.

There's something to be said about how unfair it is to force absolute power and control onto one person when you as an entity could do so much more to offload it but I've said it many times before so I won't again.

[ozziesdisco]

honestly the scene where Ji Ah finds out that Yeon killed her in her past life and her subsequent reactions to it provides so much of an insight into her character and her abandonment issues and her absolute devastation when the first person she opened up to after so long turned out to have been hiding things from her (esp something as big as that)

Like woman lost her parents at the age of nine, nobody believed her when she said that something supernatural sent them away, she was sent to a mental hospital, which she escaped, and then she presumably lived mostly alone with little to no friends and put all her energy in her job and finding her parents again so she wouldn't be alone anymore

and then Yeon turns up and saves her and protects her and cares about her and believes her for the first time- she can't help but open up to him because of all of this because she isn't used to this- she starts out not trusting him, but as time goes along, she slowly starts to get attached

for the first time, she doesn't have to deal with the world on her own- for the first time, she has someone who doesn't invalidate her feelings and is willing to bear the burden of the weight of the world together- someone who has proved multiple times that he will always be there for her, and that she can trust him-

how can she not get attached?

and when she finds out he killed her in her past life... and when he tells her it was all an act-

that's what's happened to her all her life, hasn't it? anyone she cares about just leaves, and she grew to prefer being alone because that's only way you won't get hurt. and her view just gets proved when she sees what Yeon has done to her. Yeon, the man who she gave up so much for, and who gave up so much for her, and it was all an act

of course it was all an act. of course she believed the lie the second she heard it because all her life, she was left alone by everyone. why would it be any different this time?

[persefoneshalott]

thinking about how they could've ruined madalena's character so many ways in galavant but they didn't < 3

[phantajam]

my hot take about descendants is that NONE of the core four were ready for a relationship until maybe like, the third movie (rant in tags)

[tea-cat-arts]

(Image found on Haresbeloved's page over on Instagram)

WE WERE ROBBED!!! It's not perfect, and it still has some "limited range of color values" issues, but with a couple more revisions I think the one on the bottom right really could've turned into something special

[vidocqsociety]

just finished watching the series finale of “the marvelous mrs. maisel” and it didn’t really feel like it ended it just sort of stopped but i guess since it’s an amy sherman-palladino production i have an ill-advised mini-series to look forward to in about a decade

[shidoukanae]

wanted to do another TME sketchdump (that i actually finish coloring ;;;) and so i did!!!

been thinking about TME almost literally 24/7 (and the other time is spent on OCs lol) and i still can't get over how this story is literally everything ive longed to see (as well as full of things i didn't know i longed to see. hewwo Empress Arne and Emperor Christopher).

[aparticularbandit]

...yui i know you didn't go to hope's peak because you chose not to after being scouted but i feel like maybe if kyoko disappeared you might have changed your mind

no this is not because i want her to have another girlfriend in the three years that kyoko disappeared

....

i mean, i don't even have to send her to hope's peak, seiko was homeless for a while after getting expelled, yui would absolutely take her in

the question is whether or not i want to include seiko in the fic or not and like whether that just complicates something that doesn't need to be that complicated

[pynkhues]

Have you seen the new Varity pairings some of them were interesting…👀 especially the Kim and Chloe one 😂

I've seen the pairings, but the only one I've watched so far is the Jennifer Anniston and Quinta Brunson one, which was pretty good.

There are...choices...across the board though for the match-ups, haha, and yeah, seeing the Kim and Chloe one made me howl. I'm actually lowkey excited to watch it though, haha.

[velvetydream]

꒰ :🥀 [ Till death do us part ] ”♡ᵎ꒱ˀˀ ↷ ⋯

Summary : What if Alastors dear little darling wife, his partner in crime, the person he thought he'd never see again, turns up with Mimzy on the day of the visit of the big boss of hell.

Pairing : Alastor x fem! Reader

Word count : 1899 Words

Genre : Fluff , Drama , Angst

Warnings ➵ Mentions of death, you're shorter than

Vaggie, possessive Alastor, swearing

Prequel -> > The radio star lost <

a/n : I love this trope ngl, tried to not make him to much out of character, hope it worked.. T T

Also I'm rather new to Hazbin Hotel, so I say sorry if anythings seems wrong or out of character! ><

┌───────────────────────── ·  ·  ·  · ♡

The whole hotel was a bit chaotic right now, Lucifer himself would be visiting in just a bit and Charlie wanted everything to be perfect. Colorful decorations were hanging everywhere, a banner was hung up for welcoming the king of hell, how does one even welcome the king of hell into their hotel? Charlie was probably the most stressed of all, but Vaggie did her best to calm her nervous wreck of a girlfriend down.

The moment Lucifer stepped into the hotel was meant to make everything go down, Alastor and his Ego had somehow always a snarky remark against Lucifer. Charlie tried her best to keep them apart, introducing her other friends, before she announced how she would be needing his help. And again the banter between the king of hell and the radio demon started all over again. As if throwing insults at each other before wasn't enough already, now they were pulling at Charlie left and right, like two babies fighting over a toy.

But all things come to an end, which Charlie was thankful for right now, as Mimzy, apparently a friend of Alastor, which was interesting to know he even had any, came barging in with a grand entrance. As the woman now settles down at the bar, talking with the others, Alastor and Charlie took Lucifer on a walk around, Husker disappearing for a second too, but soon joining them at the bar again, a scowl on his face, but something else, undescribable behind his eyes.

A bang was heard through the whole hotel as the entrance door was slammed open and heard could be an angry voice. "MIMZY! You little bitch!" A demon, a slight bit shorter than Vaggie probably, walked in. A scowl evident on the face, as her eyes scan over the place, before falling on the woman she was looking for. "How dare you leave me in the shit like that?! You've got it coming if those sharks don't kill you, I certainly will!" Ignoring the questioning looks of Angel and Husker, you stomp over to the blonde, ready to yank at her hair, when suddenly a bit of debris was thrown through the window and landed beside you, barely missing you by a hair. "The fuck?" The demon's head craned around, looking out the window and there they were, those fuckers Mimzy was in debt to.

You didn't really have time to react much, as three people stormed into the entrance hall, all you could catch was a glimpse of red before the person ran outside, screams of the sharks could be heard, at least those were finally taken care of.

The loan sharks were gone and fought off quickly by that person, his voice now directed to Mimzy, your own eyes on her yourself with a scowl. She and that red demon apparently knew each other quite well, as Mimzy was walking to the door, you finally really looked at the demon. He had short red and black hair, ears sat atop his head, despite scowling Mimzy he was smiling, though a sinister smile it seems. His attire was almost completely red too, a cane was clutched in his hands, as he watched Mimzy walk off, you could only make out a small part of his face. The man seemed so familiar as if you had known him for a long time.. Your heart was running a mile right now, it was getting hard to breathe, and then...

"Thank you Alastor, really.." The long-haired blonde spoke up.. That name, it couldn't be right? Mimzy would've told you, she knew him, she would've definitely told you.. right? You must be mistaken right now.. Your eyes were fixated on the man called Alastor, the voices and sounds around you were all a mush, drowned out as your brain was going all around. Now that you could see his face, he definitely had some resemblance to him.. to your late husband, who had died before you. You were his assistant, his partner in crime, when the news hit you that he was shot, it broke your heart, but still, you continued on alone, killing. That's probably what also got you to hell, well sooner than later you were figured out and soon arrived here in hell.

"Yo smiles, this girly is gawking at you for minutes now." Slowly voices were coming back to you, the white spider beside you talked, pointing his thumb at you, the red-haired now meeting your eyes, his ears straightening and standing alert like the ones of a deer caught in headlight. What irony if he was your Alastor, the irony of dooming him with deer-like features, after getting shot assumed for a deer while hiding one of the many bodies. That day you decided to let him go alone, oh if you just hadn't done that, maybe you both would be alive or you would've at least arrived together in hell.

Alastor was taking slow steps to you, the smile on his face looking strained, yet it never disappeared, his hand was reaching out for you but stopped. Eyes moving over your form, taking in everything. Resemblance to his wife evident, but.. how did he never notice you before? Had he ever met you, walked past, maybe even taken a second glance but dismissed this feeling he has right now.

Swiftly he grabs your wrist, dragging you behind him, ignoring the calls of his name of the other residents, his mind plagued by one only thought, more like one only person.. you.

Stumbling behind him, his grip rather firm on your wrist, yet it felt comforting as if you knew he would never hurt you. Not in your lifetime and also not now in your afterlife. Eyes watching the back of his head, you were wondering what expression his face harbors right now. Was he happy? Was he confused? Disappointed? Maybe he knew where you were all this time but didn't want to meet you. No, he wasn't like this. He may have been distant sometimes while alive, but in the end, he was always a darling to you. Taking care of you, just as he vowed on your wedding day. A distant memory, yet one of the most beautiful ones you have.

A door was opened and as you were pulled inside, the door closed. Steps echoed through the room, you noticed a forest on the other side of the room, but that didn't rather faze you, eyes on him again.. and him only. "Al-" You were interrupted by laughter, the man before you was hugging himself, his arms around him, yet you still weren't able to see his face. "D-Do you know.. How often have I thought about you?!" His voice was loud, a static sound like from a radio accompanied it. One of his hands was tearing at his hair now. "That bitch never told me... I'll make sure to kill her for that.. She kept you from me.." The laughter got even louder, as if the man before you was going insane.

This behavior was nothing new to you, he used to be like this, high on adrenalin when another murder was successful.. Or when he was close to being figured out by the police and detectives, yet he always slipped away right through their incapable fingers.

"I always wondered what happened to you, if you grew old with someone new.." If you were able to see his face right now, you would be able to see the sinister yet possessive smile on his face, his eyes darting around the room.

This all ended in a second when he felt a soft hand on his. He knew this hand, he also knew the person it belonged to like the front of his pocket. "I would never, I carried on alone in your memories, yet I was never as skilled as you darling, so sooner than later they connected all the dots to me." A low chuckle could be heard again, the static radio sound calmed down again too. The tall man slowly turned around now, his hand engulfing your own, his fingers softly running over your own, before he linked them together. How he had missed this feeling, despite having a distaste for people touching him, you were different. Your touch felt warm, like the summer sun kissing his skin, it felt comforting.

"I've missed you mon amour.." His voice was soft, probably the softest it had ever been since he had arrived in hell. His hand guides yours up to his lips, as he closes his eyes and presses a soft kiss to the back of your hand, a smile, now softer, on his lips. He was never one for kissing you on the lips, he definitely favored kissing your hand, like the gentleman he has always been. "I figured with how you were talking seconds ago my dear.." A soft smile was creeping up onto your lips too, mirroring his own one. Red eyes open again, your hand still pressed to his face, but now he was rather holding your hand to his cheek. "Oh how I wished I could've stayed with you my darling, we would've been so successful.." Giggling at his words, with him at your side, you probably would have been going for a long time. "But who says we can't be successful now?" A smirk etched its way onto your husband's face, oh how he loved your daring little mind, always thirsting for blood. With you by his side again now, he would definitely be able to get everything done that he wanted.

"Shall we go back? I want to meet your friends properly." Wanting to pull away your hand, he softly gives you a tug, your head landing on his chest now. Wide eyes look the the side now, as you weren't really able to move, his arms having snaked around you and his chin resting on your head. This was unusual much physical contact, but figured that you hadn't seen each other for multiple decades he yearned for your touch just a slight bit. Your arms lying around him, embracing the hug. "Let's just stay here a few minutes more, we got enough time to introduce you to everyone down there but for now.. let me have you for myself." Nodding softly, your head rests on his chest, as your eyes close and you simply enjoy the presence of your dearly beloved husband.

"What do you mean 'married to smiles'?!" Angel, as he was introduced to you, shouted from his place on the couch now, staring at you flabbergasted. "We've been married for quite a few years before his death." Smiling you answered his question. Alastor didn't like all the attention you were getting, but sooner than later he would have you all to himself again when you two go back to his cozy hotel room or the radio tower. "So you two fu-" Angel wasn't even able to finish his question before he shut himself up as he noticed the look on Alastors face. This time he would've been dead for sure if he finished that question.

Overall everyone invited you happily into their little hotel family, it was amazing. Charlie immediately took a liking to you and if you're being honest she quickly was viewed by you like a daughter.

[cherrygirlfriend]

touchy subject III pairing: reader x exfiancé!rafe synopsis: seeing your ex-fiancé after four years. warnings: angst and comfort. fluff. mentions of miscarriage/stillbirth and DUI. wc: 2.7k part 3 and the last part of touchy subject! click here for part 1, click here for part 2 i really liked writing for them and honestly i'm considering occasionally writing blurbs for them and what their relationship would shape into, lmk if you'd be interested!!

seeing you in front of that store felt like it might've killed rafe. the first face he fell in love with, the woman who'd left him with nothing but scars and an engagement ring. somehow, he still managed to stay alive.

but hearing you say his name in the soft voice he hadn't heard in over four years, the same one that you used to tell him you loved him every single night before your body went slack in his arms, that might have been the final blow.

"what are you doing here?" you managed to mutter, your hand instinctively going to your locket, squeezing it in your hand, and the gesture didn't go unnoticed by rafe.

"what's this?" rafe asked as the two of you laid in bed, his finger tracing the patterns on the heart-shaped locket resting on your chest, the one you'd worn around your neck for as long as he'd known you.

"this?" you asked, opening the locket, displaying two pictures; one of them was of you when you were a little girl, standing between your parents with a wide, toothy grin on your face, and the other was a picture of you and rafe, taken at midsummers. "i got this from my mom. it's a family heirloom of sorts. when she's born," you looked down at your stomach, "we've gotta get a picture taken of us three so i can put it here."

he let out a small chuckle, "i'm honored that you want me in your heart."

"i think you're always going to be in my heart," you rolled your eyes, "whether i want it or not."

"i'm here to see you. i thought that'd be obvious." rafe said without an ounce of emotion in his voice, the sound causing a shiver to run down your spine. grieving your daughter on what would've been her fifth birthday wasn't a moment you exactly wanted your ex to witness, but this was still rafe. the man you loved for so long, the only man you ever loved, the one you were going to marry, and this was still the house that was supposed to be your home.

so you stepped aside, pulling your cardigan closed as a way to close yourself off from the man as you walked further into the house, not daring yourself to look back at him, fearing the urge that still remained in your chest to just pull him close to you and be in his arms.

you heard the door close, pressing your eyes shut as you stood in front of the fireplace, your arms crossed in front of your chest as if defending yourself, the man's footsteps echoing in the room, "it's cold in here."

"the radiator's broken."

"can you just, at least look at me, or something?"

"do i have to?" you chuckled humorlessly, and when you felt his hand on your shoulder, it felt like the room got ten degrees colder, the man slowly turning you around to face him, and when you refused to look up at him, focusing on the baby blue sweater he was wearing, he brought his hand to your chin, gently lifting it up, just like he did every time he was about to kiss you.

"we need to talk."

if someone was to ask you what would be the most uncomfortable situation you had ever been in, this would be among the top 3, right after you got the 'birds and the bees' talk and the time you said your goodbyes to the same man now sitting beside you, the space between you two big enough to fit another person.

"why did you come back?" rafe asks, without even sparing you a glance. you decide to do the same, your gaze staying on the fire crackling in front of you.

"i don't know. a part of me thinks it's because i missed home."

"and the other part?"

missed us. missed her. "missed my mom, i guess."

your mother had driven you home from the hospital, insisting that she'd stay with you for the next few days; you still hadn't seen rafe. you couldn't face him, couldn't face the guilt you carried around for being the reason your daughter would be coming home in an urn.

she'd gone to the store for groceries, leaving you to sit on the couch you and rafe had picked out, staring at the engagement picture that hung above the fireplace.

you didn't know how it started, how every single vase ended up as nothing but shards of glass on the floor, how the coffee table had ended up as planks of wood, how your fists were bruised from beating them against the walls, your knees bloody from when you'd collapsed on the ground amongst all the glass.

"do you know what day it is?" rafe asked with a weak voice, and you could hear him try to swallow down the emotion crawling up his throat.

his question made you want to let out a small, humorless laugh. you don't know how you could ever forget. "of course." the day i killed her.

rafe stood up, running his hand over his chin before trailing over the short strands of hair on his head, "why did you do it?" he looked to you. "why did you leave?"

"i had no reason to stay." you say emotionlessly, your fingers intertwined as you kept your eyes on them as if you were praying.

"you had me. you would've had me if you just let me be there."

"rafe, i killed our daughter."

"what-"

"i'm the reason our daughter isn't here. i'm the reason she doesn't exist. i'm the reason that today isn't only her fifth birthday, but also the fifth anniversary of her death."

rafe kneeled down in front of you, his hands cupping your cheeks, not caring if it made you uncomfortable, or that this was the first time he'd properly touched you in over four years, the only thing that mattered to him was that you listened.

"you did not kill our daughter."

"i did."

"no." he scoffed, "you aren't the reason she's dead. the reason is the drunken asshole who drove at you. you loved her with your entire being, with everything you had, even before she was born. you would've been the most amazing mother in the world. don't you dare blame yourself for something you had zero control over."

"i shouldn't have driven in that weather. i knew it was gonna be raining, that the roads would be slippery-"

"no." rafe said sternly, "look at me."

your eyes moved to look into rafe's steel-blue ones, shimmering with unshed tears, his jaw clenched, and only then did you realize that he was cupping your face in his hands, his touch somehow managing to make you feel warm even in the cold apartment.

"i won't have you blame yourself for something you had no fuckin' control over. evelyn was so wanted, by both of us. she would've been so loved. we would've done anything to protect her, and to keep her safe. if any fucker even thought about hurting her, i would've made sure they'd regret ever being born. but you are not to blame for her not being here."

rafe's hands moved from your cheeks to your hands, the man instead taking your clenched fists into his, letting out a small sniffle, and when he pressed his eyes closed and let out a sigh, a tear rolled down his cheek.

"yeah, you could've not driven in the rain. but i should've been the one to drive you to your mom's, you were eight months along, an insane man would make you drive yourself, or i should've made sure you got home before it was dark, or i should've picked you up myself. there are so many things we could've done differently, but that doesn't mean that either of us is to blame for it."

"i spent so long blaming myself for what happened, but not even for a moment did i blame you. you did everything to keep her safe, and i know it, and i'm sure that she knows it too. you loved her more than anything, and i won't let some drunk driving idiot make you feel like you did anything wrong."

slowly, you opened your fists, half-moon prints on the palms on your hands caused by your nails, and without even realizing, tears had been rolling down your eyes the entire time that rafe had been speaking, the man standing up and pressing a kiss on your forehead that felt like it burnt and would leave a mark that'd be there forever, before he settled down next to you.

a strand of hair was stuck on your cheek, almost glued on there by the tears you shed, the blonde man tugging it behind your ear, his eyes still on you, his hands still cupping yours.

"i don't blame you for what happened, nor do i blame you for pushing me away. but i wish you would've let me in, to be there for you, instead of leaving. so we could've grieved her together."

"i think we should break up, rafe."

"what?" rafe turned to look at you; this wasn't what he had been expecting to hear after two months of silence, "if this is about the baby-"

"i can't do it anymore." you closed your eyes, letting a tear run down your cheek, "i need to leave. start over."

you turned your head to look at him, his words feeling like a weight had been lifted off your shoulders, and even though you tried to find it, there was nothing in his eyes that said that he was lying.

"you don't blame me for any of it?"

your voice was weak and feeble, as if a part of you was expecting him to tell you that he did, but when he pulled you into his embrace, he told you the truth in the best way he knew how to: without saying a single word.

you didn't know how long you had been in rafe's arms; it felt like hours, while also feeling like the moment had lasted mere seconds, like you two lived in your own bubble. it felt like the last four years hadn't happened, like you had never left.

but when he pulled away from the embrace and looked down at his watch, letting out a sigh, you knew what was coming. the bubble burst.

"i should probably get going." rafe let out an exasperated sigh and rubbed the bridge of his nose before starting to get up off the couch, stretching his long limbs.

"yeah, yeah." you said softly, clearing your throat, trying to act like nothing had happened, like you hadn't gone through every memory you shared while he was just holding you to comfort you, "your girlfriend's probably waiting for you."

rafe stopped in his tracks, turning to look down at you, "girlfriend?"

"shit," you chuckle softly, fidgeting with your hands and chewing on your lower lip, "i guess she's your fiancée, now."

he sat down on the couch next to you while you simply avoided his gaze, not wanting him to read everything you were feeling like he so often seemed to do, but your attempt was unsuccessful, the man bringing his hand to your chin and gently turning your head so you were forced to look at him, his brows slightly furrowed while he looked at you pointedly.

"what girlfriend, or fiancée?"

you didn't know if rafe was acting stupid, or if he was genuinely confused, but you could still remember the woman with him at the jewelry store, the woman who had managed to make him smile, whose back rafe placed his hand on.

"you know," you clear your throat, taking his hand off your chin and turning your head away from him, not wanting him to see the tears brimming in your eyes as you thought about him waiting at the aisle for another woman, "the woman at the jewelry store."

rafe let out a soft laugh, and when you turned your head, facing him, he was nearly keeling over in laughter, his head in his hands.

"what?"

"that-" rafe said inbetween laughs, "that wasn't my girlfriend."

"what?" you mumbled softly, your brows furrowing, "what do you mean, rafe?"

"sorry-" he continued laughing for a while only to be stopped by a soft smack you delivered to his shoulder, before the man took a deep breath, looking at you with a small smile gracing his lips, a sight that still got your heart to flutter, "that wasn't my girlfriend, or my fiancée."

"then... who was she?"

"that was," rafe let out another chuckle as if you had said something foolish, taking one of your hands in his and intertwining your fingers, "wheezie's girlfriend."

you tried processing the words that had left his lips, but no matter what, they didn't seem to make since. "why were you in a jewelry store together? wheezie's only like-"

"wheezie's nineteen." rafe shook his head, "her girlfriend, lucy, asked me to help her pick out a ring. sarah was supposed to go with her, but she had some preschool stuff to deal with relating to jack, so i got stuck with that duty…"

"isn't nineteen a bit... young?"

"it is. but you remember how young we were when we got engaged? or sarah?" a fond smile took over rafe's lips as he turned to look at the fire that was slowly burning out, letting the next words out in a hushed tone. "guess it runs in the family."

"guess so." you say, biting down on your lip, turning to look at the fire with him, your cheeks warm as you felt like an idiot for your assumption.

"i still haven't moved on." rafe said, letting out a breath, "i don't know if i can. i don't think i even want to." you turned to look back at one another at the same time, both of you seeing the same melancholy in the other one's eyes, "there's no one i would ever want to be with other than you."

you took a deep breath, his words ringing through your head as you looked at him, a damp trail running down his cheek was still visible from the tears he had shed, and you took a deep breath, making a decision that you knew would impact the rest of your life.

"me neither, rafe."

you brought your hand to his cheek and felt the tear he had shed under your touch, pulling his face to meet yours until your lips clashed, feeling the exact same that it did four years ago, making you wonder how you ever let it go.

SIX MONTHS LATER...

you laid on a blanket in the middle of a field of sunflowers, your arms crossed behind your head and your eyes pressed closed, letting the sun beam down your face, warming you up as your bare feet were being tickled by blades of grass.

your daydreaming was interrupted by the sound of footsteps, and you opened one of your eyes to see rafe stumble through the long flowers into the small clearing you'd found, a small chuckle leaving your lips.

"don't laugh at me." he scolded, shaking his head as he landed on the blanket next to you, letting out a soft grunt.

"why not?" you asked, sticking your tongue out at him, your boyfriend gasping in feigned offence, about to quip back at you, only to be stopped by the small, chaste peck you pressed on his lips, even the small display of affection managing to leave him speechless.

as he settled down next to you, you smiled while looking up at the sky, white clouds covering a part of the beautiful icy blue nothingness that was so much like rafe's eyes, your thoughts on her. you took rafe's hand in yours, keeping your eyes trained up while you let yourselves just exist together.

"you're always going to be in my heart, evelyn louise cameron." you said softly as you traced the patterns on your locket, rafe turning his head to look at you, a somber expression on his face as he pressed a gentle kiss on your forehead.

"yeah, she will. and neither of us will ever forget her."