#I would take one look at kaz and burst into tears

[thejudeduarte]

I'm scared as hell walking around my nearest city, I just know I wouldn't survive one DAY in Ketterdam

[reve-writes]

—tea leaves; dan heng.

ʚ dan heng x reader | honkai: star rail | 0,9k words. ʚ dan heng brews you tea and then you taste it on his lips. ʚ first kisses; friends-to-lovers. ʚ a/n i headcanon dan heng to own those traditional chinese tea sets. also i am finally writing for someone other than leon kennedy and kaz brekker.

Dan Heng prefers to be alone.

It's a known fact aboard the Astral Express. He treasures his peace and quiet, breathes in the stillness of an uninhabited room, feels the most at home as he's by himself.

That is, until you come along, and suddenly he doesn't seem to be able to fall into that tranquility anymore.

He's bouncy, often shifting his weight from one leg to the other. His eyes often shift to the door as he's inside the Archive Room—he never locks it anymore, not when you're keen on popping in as you please. It feels like every second he's anticipating for the next time you burst his quiet bubble.

“Dan Heng?”

The door slides open. He has his back turned away from it, typing away new entries into the data bank.

“Did I come at a bad time?” You ask, hovering around the doorway.

“No.” He finds himself answering too eagerly. Dan Heng clears his throat, tearing himself away from the screen. He leans against the desk, facing you. “Do you need anything?”

He speaks in a soft and amicable voice as usual.

“Not really, no.” You look down at your shoes. The door slides shut behind you. “I'm just looking for company since March 7th is off with Welt and Himeko. Although, if you're busy, I can leave you be.”

“I am not. However, I'm not sure I would be a good company.”

Your head tilts to the side. “Really? I enjoy your company very much.”

You're blunt in a way that it occasionally takes Dan Heng by surprise. His composure wavers and he's left with nothing to do but clear his throat.

“Likewise. Shall we go have some tea, then? Or did you have anything else in mind?”

“Tea sounds good.”

The Omni-Synthesiser sits in the Parlour Car untouched. Dan Heng prefers a more... traditional approach to tea-making, instead of the convenient cosmic way, which you find endearing. He has a whole tea-making set that he lays out on the small, round table before you.

A perforated tray sits neatly, housing a clay teapot, two ceramic teacups and a small tea pitcher. Dan Heng has let the tea brew in the pitcher for a couple of minutes. Strong, earthy aroma envelopes the interastral train car.

“It smells amazing,” you comment, watching as he carefully uses two hands to pour out the tea into the cups. You're shamelessly staring at his hands, fixated on his long fingers, with the guise of paying attention.

He humms. “It's Jin Shan tea. One of my favourites.”

You hold your hands out for your cup. Dan Heng hands it over, but before it reaches your grasp, he pulls it back slightly. “Be careful, it's hot.”

You nod, eagerly taking the cup in two hands and finally take a sip. You let out a satisfied noise, the yellow tea washes smoothly down your throat and leaves a pleasant aftertaste. Dan Heng's turquoise eyes trace over your figure as he, too, takes a sip.

“It tastes amazing as well!”

Dan Heng's face lights up at your approval. “Is that so?”

You hum. “I may start getting addicted to your tea brews.”

Heat creeps up his cheeks. “I don't mind.”

You set your cup down gently on the table, leaning back on the upholstered couch. Dan Heng is hyperaware of your presence, feels the brush of your shoulder against his, the warmth of your thigh next to him.

“What? Is there something on me?” You tilt your head slightly in question and Dan Heng realises that he has been staring. He blinks, for the first time noticing your proximity. Too close. If he leans forward slightly, your nose would bump against his. If he leans forward a little more, then he'll be kissing you.

His entire body freezes, tensing as the thought passes over him. His blue-green eyes flick down to your lips for a split second and you notice it. It fuels your bravery.

“No,” Dan Heng whispers, as if in a daze.

“Do you mind if I...” you lean forward ever-so-slightly and your nose brushes his.

“No,” he answers again.

With that, you press your lips against his, a tentative peck and your eyes immediately flutter close. His gloved hand snakes up your arm, finds itself on your neck, thumb brushing the square od your jaw. He tastes sweet and slightly earthy from the tea.

He pulls back slightly. You chase after him, your lips brushing against his when he speaks. “Was that okay? That's my—I'm not experienced in this matter—”

You tug on his bottom lip with your teeth. “More than okay.”

With that, he surges forward to capture your lips in his again. His other hand presses on the small of your back, guiding you closer to him—as close as he can on the sofa.

You hear a scratchy cough and jump apart. You pull your legs back, in the midst of your passion, they've slung over Dan Heng's lap.

“Pom Pom!” Your voice is higher-pitched from both the surprise and the embarrassment.

The bunny shoots the two of you a look. “Really? In the parlour? Don't you have your own private rooms?”

“Apologies. It won't happen again,” Dan Heng replies as calmly as ever. His face is lightly flushed but he looks composed as usual, aside from the slightly messy hair and reddened lips.

“It better not or Pom Pom is dropping you off in space!”

[ ]

[tired-but-willing]

The Shadows Shadow

Pairing: Kaz Brekker / Inej Ghafa

Word Count: 1,525

Warnings: Mentions of blood, violence, and the Menagerie. Nothing is explicitly detailed.

Summary: A short hurt/comfort piece focusing on Inej's trauma, as I feel there aren't enough works doing that. It's not overly fluffy because it takes place earlier in the timeline— but I hope it's still enjoyable!

Authors Note: My @grishaversesecretsanta for the lovely @milo-my-beloved ! This project was an absolute treat to work on, and I'm very excited for 2024. Please check out the Secret Santa blog for works by other talented writers and artists.

Divider from @cafekitsune

There are some days where Inej thinks she never left the Menagerie behind.

It clings to her like a shadow, haunting her the same way she haunts Ketterdam. The Wraith pursued by a ghost. Perhaps it's a twist of irony, or the curling of a monkey's paw. A reminder that freedom in contract is not freedom in soul, and Inej may be free, but the young Suli girl torn from her home still sits terrified underneath the dictation of Tante Heleen. Her past is separated sorely from her present, and she finds difficulty in reconciling the small, fearful girl with herself. There are some similarities, of course. She is still slight. Her hair is still long. Hair holds memories, and memories are the dearest thing in the world. Not even memories of Heleen can destroy the devotion to other relics of the past, like her mother and father, or her dearest brother.

Unfortunately the consolation of familiarity is naught when the family she seeks isn’t there in her grasp. The warmth of her father is just out of reach. Her mothers laugh is out of earshot. This leaves her with nothing— not even her brother to hold, as she always loved to do. She sits alone on the cold floor of the Crow Club, back to a tile wall that may as well be formed of ice. Her feet— bare, always bare when she needs to ground herself— absorb the chill through the ground as well, prompting a shiver to wrack her body. She’s never been fond of the cold. It’s not that she hates it; she feels neutral to ice and chill; but she would always take a roaring fireplace and comfort over cold. Except for today. Today is when she needs the ice to keep her awake and remind her that she is alive. That she will stay alive until she reunites her family. Then, and only then, can she rest.

The task drives her forward. Faith that the Saints will bring her quest to fruition by being her guiding life keeps her going, keeps her fighting. There are some days, however, where hope feels like a monumental thing.

Like here. Now. Alone with her knees to her chest, feeling as small as she was when she arrived under Heleen’s thumb. As helpless as when she was ripped from her mothers clutches. Small and scared and everything that Inej Ghafa does not think of herself. Her size is at all times a strength; building into agility. Now it makes the bathroom feel much larger. The world, larger still; and she is alone. The warning of a sob drags at her breath, forcing the air inside her lungs to stutter and hitch like an unoiled door; coming in short bursts. It’s a balancing act, trying to maintain composure. Ketterdam is not a place where one can afford to look weak. There are those who would sink their teeth into anything raw, simply because they need to, to survive. Inej isn’t surprised by this. She’s had to bite into more than she wants— teeth bloody and tongue iron-coated with desperation. She’s had to claw and tear to live. It’s the way of the world, she knows; even if she hopes in her heart of hearts for a kinder place. Another universe where Inej Ghafa hurts nothing and is never hurt in return.

There’s a knock at the door that tears her from her thoughts; the subtle clunking that comes from metal and not man. The crow-head knob of a cane, not a fist. It makes her rise to her feet— albeit slower than usual— to respond.

“Kaz,” she says. She wouldn’t have to look to know it was him. She could recognize him anywhere, at any time; blindfolded and with her ears plugged.

“Inej,” comes his cool reply. He acts much older than he is. She supposes all of them do. Even Jesper, who can be so easily overlooked for being ‘immature’, is so far beyond what he should be allowed to be. “I thought I might find you here.”

“In the bathroom, yes. You could’ve waited until I was finished.”

“I didn’t hear you wash.” There’s a small smirk then. “I’d hope you never started.”

He caught her there. Inej wasn’t going to pretend she was using the restroom, anyway. It would be a pointless endeavor. Lying to Kaz often was. It was a bit unfair how good he was at sniffing out secrets while stacking up miles and miles of his own. Of course she could read him— she had recognized his tells— but he built in failsafe after failsafe.

Some days, she wondered if even Kaz Brekker knew who Kaz Brekker was. If the walls fooled even him.

“I needed to clear my head.”

He doesn’t question why she wouldn’t just go outside, as she always did when she needed to think. It’s no secret that Inej much prefers brooding on rooftops, if she must brood at all.

“And?”

It’s a prompt that both surprises her and doesn’t. She knows that somewhere inside him, Kaz cares. For her, for Jesper— but for his plans, too. She thinks that’s what makes it so difficult for him to express a single thing. If he admits he feels anything at all, then someone else can sink their claws into it, and he’ll lose it all.

“And it’s clear,” she says. 

“I think if it were clear,” he retorts. “You wouldn’t be sitting on the floor. Which is unsanitary, by the way.”

“We wash it.”

“Not often enough.” His nose wrinkles, then, and his age strikes her once more. “You could come to my study.”

An offer, now. Inej turns it over in her head. It feels unbalanced— sharing part of her with someone who won’t readily share himself in return. Inej doesn’t want to give and give and give. She wants, for once, to receive. But she’s tired too. Tired of toiling her own worries over in her mind, over and over again until she crumbles and cries into the night clutching a small scrap of fabric.

“Okay,” she says.

“Okay,” says Kaz. And they go.

The study is more like a museum than an office. The paintings on the walls are stolen. She would know— she helped take most of them. There’s something familiar about it, though, that almost allows her to remove her guard. Almost. She won’t ever shed all her armor, but she can remove small pieces.

She takes one off when she says “How do I know this means anything?”

“This?” Asks Kaz. 

“Everything we do. I want to find my family, Kaz— it feels like I’ll never get there. The Saints—”

“The Saints won’t have anything to do with it when you find them,” he interrupts. When, not if. “It’s going to be you.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Really?” He sits down on the edge of his desk, seemingly uncaring for the documents mere inches from where he made himself comfortable. “I wouldn’t work with someone incompetent. If anyone can track them— it’s you.”

It’s his way of complimenting her, she knows. Calling to her competency. Sometimes, though, she wishes he were more forthright.

“Is this your way of saying you believe in me?” She asks. It’s easier to joke than to crumble. “I’m touched.”

“You should be,” he responds, smiling wryly in the way only he can. “Not many people experience my kindness.”

And yes; it is kindness, for him. To have him call it that feels like a step in the right direction; even if his words are half-drenched in sarcasm at all times.

“I’m very lucky, then,” she says— equally wry as he.

“Do you regret it?” asks Kaz suddenly. It seems uncharacteristically vulnerable for him. He follows up. “You aren’t indentured to the Crow Club. You can leave. I won’t stop you. Jesper may whine—”

“Jesper.”

“---but he wouldn’t, either. You could go.”

“I could.”

“But you’re not.”

“I’m not,” she agrees. “I don’t regret it.”

She doesn’t. Not now. Maybe for a brief second, sitting on that bathroom floor, she did. Because she’d felt so small and insignificant, and she wanted only for things she couldn’t have. Now, Kaz reassures her. Some hopelessness still lingers. She thinks it won’t leave— not until all she wants is finally in her reach. But it’s diminished.

Progress is progress. She’ll take the hope she can have and she’ll hold it close, claws sunk in to prevent its escape. She’ll bite into it because biting is all she can do.

“I don’t regret it,” she repeats. This time it’s for his benefit. Something in Kaz doesn’t relax then, but it does the next closest thing. Something in his smile seems less like a monster and more like a boy. 

It’s barely noticeable. All she does is notice things. They make a good pair, him and her.

“Good,” he says. “I don’t, either.”

The conversation won’t be enough to keep her satisfied. It won’t soothe her at night when she is cold. It won’t place a healing balm upon her grief. 

But it warms her now, and that is enough.

[stargazer-sims]

Journal Entry #49 (part one)

previously - Promises

Victor

You guys! I can see!

Okay... I can sort of see. Everything's still kind of fuzzy, but I woke up this morning, rolled over in bed and realized that the picture of Yuri and me that he keeps on his nightstand didn't look like just a bunch of yellow, beige and black smudges any more.

Yeah... I've been sleeping in Yuri's bed. He's been in the hospital since Tuesday, and despite the house being full of people, I'm lonely without him. Sleeping in his bed helps comfort me a little. Besides, the only other place for me would be back on the shikibuton in the dining room, and Uncle Kaz says he’s already made himself too comfortable in there for us to switch.

I know you’re all wondering about Yuri. I'll explain all about his situation in a minute, but I gotta tell you about this morning first, because I’m too excited about it to save telling about it for later.

I stared at the picture for several seconds. Then, just to make sure I was really seeing it, I deliberately opened and closed my eyes a bunch of times, and focused on the picture each time I opened them. Even though I knew it wouldn't change anything, I pressed gently on my eyelids with my fingertips and probably sounded like I was losing my mind as I mumbled, "You guys better keep working. Understand?"

They did. The final time I opened my eyes, I could still see the photo, somewhat blurry but recognizable as the image of myself and Yuri that had become familiar to me.

I yelled so loud for my mom that I think she must've thought something was wrong and panicked. The good thing was, she was already awake and I didn't startle her out of her sleep. I knew she was already up because she and Julian have been sleeping in my room, which is just across the hall, but I could hear her literally running up the stairs. She was shouting my name just as loudly as I was calling for her. We probably woke up everybody else in the house, but I didn't care.

Mom burst through the door with an exclamation of, "Victor! What's the matter?"

I could see the details of her face for the first time since she'd arrived, and I just gotta say, my mom is beautiful. I held out my arms to her. There were already tears running down my face, but I somehow managed to get out, "I can see. I... I can see you."

She hurried to me and pulled me into a hug, and we both spent a few minutes crying while she held me.

"What happened?" she asked, after we’d both calmed down and caught our breath. She wiped tears from my cheek with her thumb, and I leaned into her hand a little, remembering how she used to do that when I was a kid.

"I'm not sure," I said. "I guess the swelling in my brain is finally going down?"

"Did you wake up like this?"

“Yeah, I did. I didn't believe it at first. I was scared it'd just disappear again, but I think it's okay. Stuff is still blurry, but it's a lot better than before."

"Your doctor said it'd take a couple of weeks for the worst of the symptoms to resolve, didn't she?"

"She did, but I don't think I really believed her. It's kind of funny that it happened on the day I'm supposed to see the ophthalmologist, too."

"Are you still going?" Mom asked.

"Of course," I said. "Dr. Ishida did her best to fit me in on short notice. It'd be rude not to go. Plus, I still want to see what she thinks. Like, I want to know if she can tell me whether I'll get all my vision back, or if this is going to be it."

"Is Mrs. Okamoto still going with you?" Mom asked.

"With us," I amended. "You're still coming, aren't you? Actually, I don't think we really need Mrs. Okamoto to come along. It was mostly so we'd know where to go, but I know where the clinic is. You can drive, and I'm pretty sure I can see well enough now to give you directions."

"That sounds good," Mom said. "I think I'd be more comfortable with just the two of us, anyway."

"Me too," I admitted. "Hey... do you think you could help me find something to read? I need to check if I can do it.”

She glanced around for a second and then reached for my phone on the bedside table. “Here. Read me the date and time.”

My lock screen is a picture of me and Elsa, which was taken by Seiji's coach, Masao. In it, I'm getting big air and Elsa's underside is clearly visible, her name in white script and the Canadian flag standing out proudly against the bold blue and yellow.

I had to squint a little bit, but I read aloud, “Friday, February fifth. 6:39 a.m."

I hadn't even noticed it was already February until that moment.

"Good job, sweetheart!" Mom sounded exactly like she was talking to a little kid who'd tied his shoelaces by himself or printed his own name for the first time, but I didn't mind one bit. I feel like I was probably glowing from the praise, as if I'd done something monumental.

Then again, maybe I had. I'd been terrified that my vision would never get better and that I'd have to spend the rest of my life trapped in a fog and being led around everywhere, so to just wake up and suddenly be able to see stuff again was huge and overwhelming.

It struck me how much independence this would give back to me. For the past two weeks, I hadn't been able to do the most basic things like reading my messages, choosing an audio book to listen to, or even picking out the clothes I wanted to wear each day and checking myself in the mirror. All of that and more was available to me again, and I was grateful.

I studied my screen for a second longer, verifying both the date and my renewed ability to read it. Then, I looked up from my phone and into my mom's beaming face. "Mom, you know what day today is?"

"Friday, February fifth," she replied, sounding slightly amused.

"Yeah, but February fifth is my anniversary of coming here."

"Oh," she said. "That's right."

"I can hardly wait to visit Yuri today, 'cause I'm sure he remembers too. I can't wait to see him. Like, literally see him."

I recalled the day I'd first landed in Japan. Yuri and I had known each other for three years, and both of us had been feeling impatient with our long-distance relationship. We agreed that we needed to be together in person, and I think we both knew it’d be me who’d end up travelling, even before I told him I would come to him.

I remember my emotions shifting back and forth between excitement and nervousness as I made my way through the tunnel that led from the plane to the the noisy, crowded international airport in Kyoto. Yuri had been waiting there for me in the arrivals area, holding a hand-lettered cardboard sign with 'NELSON' on it, like something from a movie, as if I wouldn't recognize him immediately on sight. We'd joked about him meeting me at the airport with a sign, but I hadn't thought he'd really do it. I was already madly in love with him, but I'd fallen just a bit harder at that.

Knowing that he wasn't comfortable being touched, I'd had to resist the urge to run to him and catch him in a tight hug to complete our movie-like scene, but the way his gorgeous dark eyes sparkled and the delicate pink blush that spread across his nose and cheeks when he reached shyly for my hand more than made up for the lack of a welcome embrace. The hugs and cuddles and soft little kisses would come, with time and patience.

Now, two years on from our first in-person meeting, he's not shy at all about touching me or letting me touch him, and he seeks out affection from me on his own. In fact, he often demands it, in the most adorable and endearing way possible.

One of my favourite things is snuggling with him in the mornings, breathing in the sweet scent of him — strawberries and sandalwood — and admiring how cute he is with his wide brown eyes and sleep-tousled hair. I never fail to melt with pleasure at his touch when we're in bed like that, because he knows exactly how to find all my 'secret spots', as he calls them. His feathery kisses against my collarbone always make me go weak, and there are other places on my body that I think he likes to tease with his clever little fingers just to hear the sounds I'll involuntarily produce. He plays me like his violin, and I'm happy to let him.

I've been missing those moments of gentle intimacy. I miss everything, really; the warmth and softness of his pale, perfect skin when he embraces me and presses his forehead against mine in greeting, the way he says my name, the way he pouts when I remind him to eat or take his medication, and the way he smiles sweetly in thanks when I bring him his morning tea so he can enjoy it in bed. I confess, I'm hopelessly, irrevocably in love with him, and I miss being with him.

Not for the first time, I wished everything would go back to normal. I wanted Yuri to get better and come home to me. I wanted my arms to hurry up and heal so I could get my casts off and be able to hold my sweet boy, because I'm sure he's missing that just as much as I am. What was new for me in all this wishing was that with the return of some of my vision, I was starting to feel hopeful that maybe we really could get back to normal.

"Do you want to get up now?" Mom was asking me.

"What?" It took a second for me to pull myself away from thinking about my husband and to get my mind back on the day ahead. "Uh... yeah, I do."

"Are you hungry?"

"Mom, seriously? Do you even need to ask? But, I want a shower first, and do you think you could shave me? I have to look presentable for the eye doctor today, not all scruffy and gross."

She smiled. "I thought you were growing your beard out."

I ran my fingertips over my jaw and chin, and gave her what I imagined was a crooked grin. "Yeah, but I'm guessing it doesn't look very nice right now, all weird and patchy like this. I can start over when I don't have any appointments that require somebody getting up close and personal."

"All right, but I think we'd better get Julian or Kenji to help you shave."

"Julian," I said.

My relationship with my father-in-law might've been improving, but I'm still not comfortable enough with him to let him near my face with a sharp object. Not that I was worried he'd do anything on purpose, but I didn't know how well he'd handle it and I'd be nervous about him cutting me by accident. I'd much rather have Julian's steady, confident veterinary surgeon's hands performing that particular task.

"Okay," Mom said. "I'll ask him when he gets up."

"I don't want to wait till Julian gets up for my shower. Can you help me in there, at least?"

"Of course," she said. "I guess you're over being embarrassed about me seeing you in the buff?"

I laughed out loud at that. "You know what Uncle Kaz said."

"I heard him telling you that I'd already seen it all before," she said. "I swear, that man has no filters. If it's in his head, it comes out of his mouth."

"You gotta admit he's a great guy, though."

"He's growing on me."

"He's hard not to like." I pushed the blankets off myself and then awkwardly turned around so that I was sitting on the edge of the bed with my feet on the floor. "All right. Here I go."

Mom steadied me with nothing more than a hand under my elbow, as I got out of bed almost completely unaided for the first time in two weeks.

Mom was quick to envelop me in a hug once I was in my feet. "Well done, Victor."

I grinned. "I'm going to walk to the bathroom by myself."

"Go for it," she said. "But, I'm still going to help you when you're ready to go downstairs."

I nodded. "Yeah, I think that's a good idea." I wandered over to Yuri's wardrobe cupboard and hooked my fingers into the little grooves in the doors to open it up. A lot of my clothes are in Yuri's cupboard, and a bunch of his are in mine. It's why I can't find my stuff most of the time. That, and I'm also kinda disorganized. "I think I'll go with a button-up shirt. Yuri would want me to look respectable for my appointment. Let's see... What would he boss me into wearing?"

Behind me, I could hear my mother trying to hold in a laugh. "Even when he's not here, he's here."

"Yup," I agreed. I struggled to get the shirt I wanted off its hanger, and ultimately had to let Mom help me, but I still felt triumphant about having found my own shirt and jeans. "Okay. Shower time."

Showering is a chore that involves literally wrapping my arms in plastic trash bags so my casts don't get wet and, up until today, sitting on a little plastic step-stool while I was in there because I was too nervous and unsteady on my feet. Today, I didn't need the stool, but I obviously still needed the plastic bags. Mom and Julian are both getting pretty efficient at wrapping and unwrapping my arms, but I'll be glad when no one has to do that any more.

My appointment with Dr. Ishida was at ten o'clock, so I had plenty of time beforehand to get ready, eat breakfast, and even exchange some texts with my boss and my friends. I had to tap out my messages painstakingly with my index finger, due to not being able to use my thumbs, but this was definitely progress. Tomiko, Takahiro and Fox were all glad to hear from me and wanted to know when they could stop by for a visit.

Oddly, the person I’d expected to reply first didn't reply at all. Seiji and I usually text and talk a lot. I’d missed him over the last couple weeks, and I’d imagined he missed chatting with me as well. I tried to convince myself not to read too much into his lack of a response, assuming that he was probably up on the mountain and didn't have access to his phone.

But then, I realized how early it still was. He wouldn't be teaching any lessons at this hour, and he definitely wouldn't be training. Masao, a notoriously late sleeper, never has Seiji out training before nine-thirty or ten o'clock. Sometimes my coach and I have already been out there for an hour or two before Seiji and Masao make their appearance. Last season, when Masao was my coach too, that was my biggest pet peeve.

No, it was a safe bet that Seiji was somewhere having breakfast, perhaps eating rice and fish at his parents' house, or grabbing a latte and a breakfast sandwich at the book café. He should’ve have his phone on him. He should’ve been answering me. I didn't understand why he wouldn't, especially since I hadn't talked to him in two weeks.

Don't panic, I told myself. There's got to be a perfectly reasonable explanation.

I resolved to try contacting him again later, and turned my attention to sending a message to my coach.

Sakura, my coach, absolutely freaked out when she received my text, and didn't bother to text me back. Like, maybe three seconds after it came up as 'read', my phone was ringing and the caller ID displayed her name and number.

When I said hello, Sakura didn't even greet me. She screamed down the line at me, "Victor Okamoto-Nelson, you idiot! I've been worried sick about you! Two weeks, and this is the first I hear from you in person? I swear, if I'd gotten one more message from your husband or father-in-law—"

"I'm feeling much better, Fujimoto-sensei. Thank you for asking," I said, as calmly as I could because I knew it'd annoy her.

I actually was feeling a lot better. Today was the best day I'd had since my accident, both psychologically and physically. My arms and rib were hurting, but not to the level where I needed the strong prescription painkillers Dr. Sato had given me, and I finally felt confident enough to walk without help, except on the stairs.

"Cut it out with the sensei bullshit, you dumbass." Sakura sounded angry, but I could hear fondness beneath it. "I'm coming straight over there to kick your butt for putting me through absolute hell for the past two weeks."

"Later," I said. "I've got a doctor's appointment soon, and then I'm going to spend the rest of the day at the hospital with Yuri. You can come over tonight."

There was a long pause, and then, "Hang on... Yuri is in the hospital now?"

"Mr. Okamoto's been messaging you. He didn't tell you?"

"Obviously not. Is Yuri going to be okay?"

"He has an infection," I said. "The doctor called it a 'moderately severe intestinal complication'."

"That doesn't sound good," Sakura observed.

"He's pretty sick," I confirmed. "They're giving him massive doses of antibiotics, and the side effects are brutal. He's getting fluids, and they're doing an intravenous nutrition infusion too, 'cause he can't eat." I closed my eyes for a second, and let out a long, slow breath. "It's hard to watch."

"I can't even imagine how hard," she said sympathetically, all the fierce energy from just a moment earlier gone from her voice. "I don't know how you cope. I'd be losing my mind if Takeshi was ever that sick."

"It's not easy, but it's something I've learned to accept," I told her truthfully. "The worst part for me this time is that I can't take care of him myself."

"You've gotten pretty good at that. Taking care of him."

"Yeah, but it's a two-arm job, so right now I'm useless," I said. "Anyway, Yuri's doctor says she's optimistic, but she also says she won’t even consider releasing him until he can eat on his own, or at least drink a meal replacement drink. She thinks it'll be the middle of next week at the earliest, and she’s recommending that we have somebody from the home health program care for him for a while once he gets out.”

"Are you going to be okay with that?" Sakura asked.

"Honestly? I don't have the luxury of not being okay with it. Mom and Julian can't stay with us for too long, 'cause I mean, their clinic isn't going to run without them forever. Yuri's parents have been awesome, but they've got other stuff going on as well. We need somebody, and I don't get to say I don't like the idea."

"What about Yuri? Is he going to be okay with it?"

"He's not really in a position to choose either, unfortunately." I frowned, thinking about how he was likely to react to the presence of a home healthcare nurse in our house. "Not that it'll stop him from expressing himself about it. Like, I hope this person is patient, because they haven't seen whining and temper outbursts until they've seen Yuri's whining and temper outbursts."

"Poor baby," Sakura said.

"Excuse me? He gets 'poor baby' and I got 'dumbass'?"

"Poor little Yuri didn't throw himself down the mountain at seventy kilometers per hour and land on his head, did he? And you can still eat. Probably everything you can get your hands on, as often as possible, if I know you."

"And some things I can't get my hands on," I admitted.

"You'd better not be gaining too much weight while you're lying around doing nothing but eating and being waited on."

“You’re the worst,” I said.

"Can Takeshi and I visit Yuri?"

“Yes, you guys can visit him. He hasn’t been up to talking or really doing much of anything, but he might like to see you.”

“We’ll bring him a get well card.”

“He’d like that.”

“Consider it done,” Sakura said. “See you tonight?”

"I'll see you tonight," I agreed. "You can hassle me some more then, if you still feel you need to, okay?"

"Seven o'clock," she said. "You'd better be home."

"I will."

"Good, because your other love has been missing you, and she’d never forgive you if you stood her up.”

I didn't need to ask who she meant. "Thanks for keeping Elsa safe for me. Tell her I miss her too."

"I'll bring her home to you tonight," Sakura promised. "Good luck at the doctor."

“Thanks. Oh… wait a second! Before you hang up, I gotta ask you something.”

“Sure,” she said. “Ask away.”

“Have you seen Seiji?”

“Seiji Hinamori?”

“He’s the only Seiji I know,” I said. “I tried texting him, and he didn’t answer. I told myself not to worry about it, but now that I’m thinking about it…”

“I hear you,” Sakura said. “Actually, now that you mention him, I haven’t seen him in a while. Maybe not since the day you got hurt.”

“That doesn’t sound good,” I said.

“Maybe ask Takahiro if he’s seen him? If anyone knows anything about Seiji, it’ll be Taka.”

“True.”

“Now’s really not the time to get caught up in worrying about Seiji, though,” Sakura said. “What doctor are you seeing today?”

“Dr. Ishida. She’s the eye doctor.”

“That’s your priority.” Her tone of voice was the same one she always uses when we’re reviewing video of my training runs and she wants me to work on something in particular during our next practice. “That, and Yuri.”

“Right,” I said. "It goes without saying that Yuri is my priority. Always."

“Yes, but you need to remember to make yourself a priority sometimes. And you have a tendency to get overwhelmed when there's too much going on, so I'm just reminding you to focus."

"It's scary, how well you know me."

"When I get to your place tonight, we’ll call Taka together, okay? That is, if you don't hear back from Seiji in the meantime. I’ll check with the Recreation Association and see if he’s been at work. I mean, just because I haven’t seen him on the mountain, that doesn’t mean he hasn’t been.”

“Thanks, Sakura.”

“It’s no problem,” she said. “I’m hanging up now, but remember what I said. No going off-track.”

“Got it.”

“Good. Tell Yuri I’m thinking about him. I’ll see you later, and hopefully we’ll both have some good news to share.”

[the-ultimate-muses]

Open RP - Ult. Childcare Worker Kazuichi Soda

As tired as Kazuichi looked, nothing could seem to take the smile from his face as he watched the toddler in his arms, the small thing blankly chewing away on the ear of her stuffed rabbit as the brightly colored man made his way down a stairwell in the dorms. He had gotten to skip class to watch over the toddler, one of the teachers in the school having had their usual babysitter suddenly cancel on them, so the task had naturally fallen to him thanks to his talent. No one ever believed Kaz loved children as much as he did, the bright attire and mechanic jumpsuit he wore often giving the wrong idea, but the kids loved the colors, and with his dad being a mechanic, such garments were a given at his house, though with his the pockets were stuffed with toys, snacks, and other such things instead of tools, much to his dad’s displeasure…

Pushing open the door at the bottom of the stairwell with his shoulder, Kazuichi had barely set foot into the common room when the child had decided she had had enough of her toy, it being thrown as far as her little arms could manage-

And smacking right into one of Kazuichi’s classmates with a rather comical squeak on impact.

Expression falling with horror now, Kazuichi was quick to apologize, knowing very well that some people weren’t fond of children, and didn’t take too kindly to such behavior, no matter how benign. “Shoot, I-I’m sorry! She- Akari just figured out how to throw things, so she’s been doing it a lot.” He said with a laugh, a weak smile spreading across his lips in hopes the other would understand.

Perhaps sensing Kazuichi’s panic, or simply upset she no longer had her toy despite being the one to throw it, the toddler burst out into ugly tears, screaming, crying, and pulling on the poor caretaker’s braid in all her fuss. “Aw no Ari, it’s okay! I’ll get your toy back, I promise, just hold on a sec for me, okay?” Kazuichi cooed in a surprisingly calm voice for someone who was repeatedly getting their hair pulled, not to mention the toddler screaming into his ear, sending it into a low ring.

His promise had her calming just a bit though, almost like a switch had been flipped, Akari still gripping his hair in distress, but now thankfully without the screaming as he looked about for her toy. “Hey, did uh… did you see where that went?”

[mudskip-muses]

Open RP - Ult. Childcare Worker Kazuichi Soda

As tired as Kazuichi looked, nothing could seem to take the smile from his face as he watched the toddler in his arms, the small thing blankly chewing away on the ear of her stuffed rabbit as the brightly colored man made his way down a stairwell in the dorms. He had gotten to skip class to watch over the toddler, one of the teachers in the school having had their usual babysitter suddenly cancel on them, so the task had naturally fallen to him thanks to his talent. No one ever believed Kaz loved children as much as he did, the bright attire and mechanic jumpsuit he wore often giving the wrong idea, but the kids loved the colors, and with his dad being a mechanic, such garments were a given at his house, though his the pockets were stuffed with toys, snacks, and other such things instead of tools, much to his dad’s displeasure...

Pushing open the door at the bottom of the stairwell with his shoulder, Kazuichi had barely set foot into the common room when the child had decided she had had enough of her toy, it being thrown as far as her little arms could manage-

And smacking right into one of Kazuichi's classmates with a rather comical squeak on impact.

Expression falling with horror now, Kazuichi was quick to apologize, knowing very well that some people weren’t fond of children, and didn’t take too kindly to such behavior, no matter how benign. “Shoot, I-I’m sorry! She- Akari just figured out how to throw things, so she’s been doing it a lot.” He said with a laugh, a weak smile spreading across his lips in hopes the other would understand.

Perhaps sensing Kazuichi’s panic, or simply upset she no longer had her toy despite being the one to throw it, the toddler burst out into ugly tears, screaming, crying, and pulling on the poor caretaker’s braid in all her fuss. “Aw no Ari, it’s okay! I’ll get your toy back, I promise, just hold on a sec for me, okay?” Kazuichi cooed in a surprisingly calm voice for someone who was repeatedly getting their hair pulled, not to mention the toddler screaming into his ear, sending it into a low ring.

His promise had her calming just a bit though, almost like a switch had been flipped, Akari still gripping his hair in distress, but now thankfully without the screaming as he looked about for her toy. “Hey, did uh... did you see where that went?”

[earlgreydream]

ketterdam.

| kaz brekker x reader | fluff |

anon requested.

“Kaz.”

He turned to you, seeing the tears streaked down your cheeks in the reflection of the mirror.

“What happened?” His voice was steady and even when he spoke.

His brow was furrowed, the only indication of worry. Inside, Kaz was torn apart at the sight of your tears. Raw anxiety bubbled up in his throat, spreading through his limbs, all at the mere thought that you might not be okay.

He’d never say it. Not even to Jesper.

“It’s the Barrel. Its darkness.”

You were soft.

“We’ll get out of here. I’ll take you elsewhere in Ketterdam.”

Kaz’s gloved hands went to your face, warm against your tear-stained cheeks. His thumbs brushed the moisture away, his fingers firm on your jaw and the top of your neck. You gently laid your hand over his wrist, feeling the smooth velvet of his jacket.

You were the only one in the world who ran to dirtyhands for comfort.

Your fingers brushed the kefta that hung on the back of your door, hidden away from the public eye for your safety. Touching the cerulean blue fabric gave you a burst of comfort, even as you slid out of the door in your plain clothes, dressed in black like Kaz.

“Where are you going? Do we have a deal?” Jesper asked, badgering Kaz as the two of you made your way out the door.

“No. We’ll be back by nightfall. Stay here and keep the Crow Club running.”

You gave Jesper an apologetic look, and he watched the two of you slip out together.

.

Kaz led you to the harbor, seagulls squawking loudly overhead. It smelled like fish and the air was salty from the sea, the streets filled with greasy, overweight fishermen.

You followed Kaz to a boat, climbing aboard without being seen by the captain. It headed north, toward the wealthy side of Ketterdam that attracted tourists from Ravka and Fjerdan. Kaz pulled you below deck, helping you drop behind some crates, out of sight. Your bodies were close, squeezed into the small crevice. 

You looked up into his eyes but said nothing, having no desire to disturb the peace. He pulled you down, back into the shadows against his body as a crew member walked past, yelling loudly about how he was going to find the grisha and burn them at the stake like witches.

Your blood ran cold, and you gripped Kaz’s arm that was wrapped around you. You turned your face into his chest, hiding in the folds of his black coat as he squeezed you. 

“I’ve got you, you’re safe,” he whispered into your hair, his aversion to touch forgotten as the urge to protect you took over. 

The two of you arrived at the second port, climbing out the boat window to the cleaner harbor. One filled with tourists climbing off of boats in gorgeous outfits, some even in keftas. You admired them, the higher order grisha from Ravka who were able to show who they were, without the fear of danger. You were stuck pulling in the tides, hiding in the shadows, hoping you never stood out. 

The melodic click of Kaz’s cane brought you back to reality, and you followed him through the streets. 

“You could be like them, one day,” Kaz said, stepping into a cafe with you. 

He pulled some kruge from his pocket, paying for waffles for the both of you. The smell of sugar surrounded you, warm and sweet, and so different from the foulness of the Barrel.

“I can’t be like them, Kaz. You know how it is in the Barrel.”

“You could leave, go to Ravka,” he argued, keeping his voice hushed in the shop.

You shook your head, looking away from Kaz. You couldn’t leave the Barrel. You couldn’t leave him. The city was part of Kaz, necessary as his heartbeat. The Crows were your family, and you couldn’t abandon them, not even for the grisha. 

The crow handle of his cane pressed against your cheek, turning your head to face him. Before he could speak, the waiter called to him, handing Kaz your waffles. He dropped the cane, giving a waffle to you.

The two of you left for the pier, finding a private place to sit and hang your legs off of the dock. 

“Do it. I know it makes you happy,” Kaz murmured before biting into the waffle, a glitter sparkling in his dark eyes.

You turned to be sure no one was watching you, and you swayed your hand, making small waves in the harbor. Your giggles made Kaz’s heart surge, and he watched you perform your small science with delight. 

Kaz was entirely in love with you, and the feeling crashed over him like the waves you made. He couldn’t take his eyes off of you, even when you gazed back shyly.

“What are you looking at me like that for?”

“I just think I would die without you,” he confessed, surprising you.

“You’ll never be without me, Kaz Brekker. It’s me and you, until the end. And then whatever comes after,” you promised.

.

The sunshine beat down on you as you walked through a field of tulips on the very edge of Ketterdam, far from the neighborhoods you knew so well. Kaz had even shed his coat, in favor of a loose black tunic that billowed in the breeze. Even dressed in onyx, he still managed to seem soft, surrounded by flowers and the warm glow of the summer sun.

“You’re staring at me,” he accused with a rare grin.

You didn’t answer, spinning around and letting the grass tickle your feet. He had ached to see your bright smile, hidden behind the sadness the Barrel brought out of you.

Your squeal rang through the field as he grabbed you, pulling you into him. Giggles erupted from your throat, and you twisted in his grip, wrapping your arms around his neck.

For once, Kaz didn’t feel sick at being touched. You had the opposite effect, silencing all of the fears as your gentle hands slipped into his dark hair.

“Kaz.”

You didn’t get out more than his name before his lips were smashed against yours, tasting of smoke and bourbon and the sugar of the waffles you’d finished. Your lips parted, allowing him to kiss you deeper, surrounded by colored flowers.

.

The sun dipped low in the sky, casting a twilight haze over everything in its path. You walked back toward the harbor, needing to be back in the Barrel before dark. Even for Kaz, it wasn’t safe to roam the streets at night, and you were unarmed. 

His leather-gloved hand held yours, helping you onto a boat, headed back toward home. You sighed, watching the buildings become more industrial, and the streets become dirtier.

“Thank you for today,” you said softly.

His hand rested on your head, and he leaned down to kiss your temple, smiling against your skin. 

“You’re welcome.”

You let yourself rest against his body, nearly lulled to sleep by the rhythm of his heartbeat and the gentle rocking of the boat. Kaz watched you, the way your lips parted as you breathed softly, completely relaxed against his chest. 

“Sleeping beauty, we’re here.”

You sat up, apologizing groggily for sleeping on him. He shook his head, promising it was okay as he helped you sneak off of the boat. You hurried for the Crow Club, making it safely into the apartment overhead. 

“Will you stay?” You asked Kaz, leaning in your bedroom doorway. 

“Yeah, I think I will.”

[lilisouless]

Nikolai with a hangover: I don't know what you are talking about, guys night with Nina´s friends was fun

Tolya: Hangouts are only fun for drunk people and only three of us were sobber

(the night before that)

Matthias: Kaz, would you STOP pick pocketing people´s coats? They are going to kick us out because of you

Kaz wearing Nikolai´s coat: Am i not Kaz! I am the king of Ravka and i command all of you to bring me your wallets!

Nikolai wearing Kaz´s hat: Did someone mentioned the bastard of the barrel? The one and only dirtyhands? Prince of thieves

Kaz: As as the king i declare you "King of Thieves"

Nikolai: Oh thank you, your spectacular and incredibly handsome King Nikolai

Matthias: Alright! "King Nikolai" Stop stealing before you get us into trouble

Nikolai leaning near to Tolya: haha! i am Nikolai actually, we fooled him!

Matthias: I am so sorry for this, it was foolish of me to think they could behave

Jesper laying down on the table: Behave is for prudes! you are prudes!

Wylan: I am so sorry you are feeling unconfortable Matthias

Tolya: I am Tolya

Wylan as Jesper pulls him on the table with him : Oh sorry, you look so alike

Jesper: They are both big! Big guys are uncapable to have fun! Their mass absorbs their joy. It´s a scientific principle!

Matthias: Just you made that out

Wylan: Is true! "gasp" Jesper,you just made a life changing discovery! You will be in science books!

Jesper: Let´s celebrate it!

Matthias: No no no! "trows Jesper away and gets a hold of Wylan" Don't let them get close to each other until we get them home

Tolya: I´ll get David to tell them science doesn't work like that, but he has his own problems

David trying to hold Adrik: Please sit down

Adrik: no! he is challeging me! Did you see how he looked at me? I could take him down

David: Thats a mirror

Hanne: "sobs"

Matthias: What?

Hanne: I sat on an ant...that poor thing "burst on tears while Matthias pats their head"

Matthias: There there, it probably didn't suffer

Hanne: But what if she had children?

Mal standing up: CHILDREN! Oh no, i forgot Misha on our last trip to Ketterdam! "runs away" HERE I COME MISHA!!

Tolya: For Sankta Alina, Mal! Misha is in college, you were supposed to leave him there! "stands up" I better stop him before he jumps on a ship again

(next morning)

Tolya: Helvar has right, we should have stayed playing checkers with Nhaban

Zoya: you guys are so childish. Girls night was relatively harmless, we only took some cups on Ghafa´s ship, told some stories and played truth or dare, the normal.

Genya: Women are naturally more responsible

Tamar: Was it just that? i have the feeling we are forgeting something...

"your majesty! there is a bunch of people outside the palace in stripped robes and a huge banner"

Zoya: Oh now i remember, i got Alina in truth or dare so i drunkenly challenged her to create a cult

Tolya: WHAT?

Genya: She convinced people to abandon saints and the royal family in order to serve one supreme being

"HAIL ,ONCAT! HAIL, ONCAT! HAIL-"

Zoya: She did the dare better than i expected.

[thedelusionreaderbitch]

Kaz Brekker x fem! Reader - Staying

(Gif not mine)

A/n: im screaming because I watched the first episode of Shadow and bone and AHHHHHH!!!!!! So I'm providing you with this!!! (Requests are open)

Warnings: Angst, Sad Kaz, death, fluff, I think that's it? You have been warned!

Summary: Kaz see's something happen to you and thinks the worst

(This is Kaz's pov)

Kaz shouldn't have fell. Not for her, she deserved so much better. He should have stopped himself.

He remembers the first time he sees her; blood all over her dress, knives in her hands, dead bodies littered around her.

But her skin looked like silk, her hair was let loose flowing with the wind, and her eyes. Oh her eyes looked like the sun and the stars in the sky combined.

She was beautiful.

He closed his eyes breathing in a shuttering breath. She is gone. He needed to remind himself of that, that she wasn't here anymore. She wasn't here to try and make him smile. She wasn't here to hold his hand with the gloves or without. She wasn't here to be with him anymore.

Tears stinged his eyes and threaten to burst, but he needed to close himself off. To not feel anything anymore.

Kaz Brekker has a lot of regrets.

He used to regret spending time with her, he used to tell himself to push her away. To let her go.

He wished he hadn't let her go on the mission.

He got up from his desk, don't think about her. She's not real. She's not real. She's dead. She's not-

"I'm back."

He whipped his head around to where the girl, no woman sat.

"Come to haunt me." He grumbles and turns his head back towards his papers, still standing.

His legs feel weak with longing, and his bad leg hurts a bit more than it should. His head feels like a bowling ball and his mind is worse. Surprisingly there's a wound from the last mission that he hadn't stitched up, but he's still waiting to meet her in death. Kaz knows the wound will get infected and eventually kill him.

Or the lack of sleep will.

Y/n or just his imagination quirks her head to the side and studies him, a concerned expression takes over her dazzling features.

"Are you okay?" The figment of his imagination asks. Oh it sounds like her though melodious voice, and it would be just like Y/n to be worried over a barrel boss.

"Do I look like it?" He snaps at her. He remembers trying to push her away with dirtyhands. Now he wished he hadn't snapped at her, even if it was a figment of his imagination.

"Sorry." Kaz apologizes to the dead girl.

Y/n frowns and comes up to him, he takes a step back. She takes a couple of more steps forward as he keeps on limping backwards. It's like a dance now one wants to show.

They keep this up till his back hits the wall and there's only about an inch of space in between them.

Kaz can't breath, she's so close to him but she'll disappear as soon as he touches her. Even if it was fake he didn't want her to leave.

Silence overcomes the room like placing a blanket on a child. It engulfs them both, warmly suffocating them both making them enable to say a word.

"Your not real." He finally manages to choke out.

Y/n's eyes widen and she seems to have an understanding of something. She was always quick to know what his plans were, they were like different but yet the same people.

Were.

"I'm here." She whispers, and her face leans into his, but their bodies not yet touching.

Her breath fans out upon his face, but it couldn't be real. He saw her dead body hit the earth like a sack of kruge.

"Your dead." He retorts. She flinches hard, like the words physically burn her.

"I just got knocked out Kaz, and I had a couple of wounds. I had to go with Nina to help stitch me up and rest for a couple of days."

Her face his just a mere millimetre from his and their bodies finally touch as Y/n presses herself up to him.

"I was worried when you didn't come check on me." She mutters, he almost doesn't hear it she says it so quiet.

She connects there lips together and he knows. She's there.

He pulls her impossibly closer by warping his arms around her waist, her hands go to his raven hair and she tugs a bit.

An audible moan tears through his lips into her mouth and Kaz can feel her smile.

The universe was bending to their will, it must have been for he had never felt so powerful and vulnerable at the same time. In this moment he knew he would never push her away again.

Their lips break apart but their bodies are still untangled together.

He buries his head in her shoulder and he for the first time since he was nine years old he openly sobs.

The cries are small and terribly beautiful. But they shake Kaz's very soul to the bone.

"Your alive, your alive." He breaths her in, still holding onto her waist never wanting to let her go.

She lifts his head and wips his tears away. She takes his hand and leads him to the bed.

"I won't leave you. Ever." The girl whispers as they lay together.

They just stay there, wrapped up into each other doing nothing else because - they weren't there yet. But they would be, one day.

"Promise me something." Y/n says as she turns to face him.

Kaz only nodes but holds her tighter to him.

"Try not to push me away again okay? I just can't go another day knowing the person I love-" She throws her hands over her mouth and tries to wiggle out of his grip.

"I love you too." He whispers in her ear, bringing her closer to him again. He know's the words will only ever me hers.

Y/n shoves her head into his chest, she let her hands go to his sides then her face turned into one of confusion.

"Kaz!" She says getting up out of his bed.

"You have a wound!" He grins guiltily and gets up after her.

"Stitch it up?"

A string of curses rung through the slat that night, and let me tell you. No one had ever talked like that. (And this was the barrel).

Words 1038

All rights go to Leigh Bardugo, Netflix and you! I just own the plot!

-thedelusionreaderbitch

[lab-trash]

Hi first of all wanted to say I love your blog and your content is amazing!!! (Especially love your fanfic Anything For You, truly chef kiss 🤌!!!!)

I have a request idea if you are down for it:

Incorrect quote sourced from boy meets world (idk if you know that show, it’s an older one but it’s one I grew up on. So if you haven’t watch it I highly recommend!!!)

Aww, thanksss. Sorry I haven't been updating my AFY fic, I've just been working on a bunch of other stuff. Anyway. Here's a bunch from Boy Meets World!

------

Kaz: You're one of my best friends, I just want you to loosen up. Chase: You don't think I'm a geek? Kaz: Of course not. Chase: You think I'm cool? Kaz: Of course not.

------

Kaz: You know Oliver, I’m having a little trouble opening this jar. Chase: That’s because it’s a can.

------

Kaz: How do I ask a boy out? Skylar: Simple. You open the door and say “Get out. You're bothering me”.

------

Kaz: So I said to myself: Pyro- Chase Wait, Pyro? Kaz: That’s what I call myself.

------

The team are playing a couples trivia game Skylar: Chase, what is Kaz’s favourite fish? Chase: Penguin Bree: No, I don’t think you understood- Kaz hold up a paper that says ‘Penguin’ on it Kaz: BAM! Chase: I know my man. Kaz: It’s like we have one brain.

------

Kaz: What I’m about to tell you is going to make you want to kill me. Oliver: I’m not going to kill you, Kaz. Oliver: It takes too much time to break in a new best friend.

------

Oliver: Are you going to talk to Chase? Kaz: No! I’m way too nervous. I wouldn’t know where to start. Oliver: Well, how about starting by saying, ‘Hello.’ Kaz: That’s too risky, Oliver. It would probably come out, “I want to have your children.”

------

Chase: Would you be my boyfriend? Kaz: kisses Chase Chase: Yes or no?

------

Chase: How could you possibly get into this much trouble in one day? Kaz: It didn't take me the whole day.

------

Chase: So that means I have to give you back your leather jacket? Kaz: No. Keep it Kaz, putting the jacked around his shoulders: It's yours, like I am Chase: Good. Because I wouldn't have given it back to you anyway

------

Oliver: So are you gonna ask him out? Kaz: Try to stop me Kaz: So, Chase… Chase, passing out paper: yeah? Kaz: Kaz: uh…thanks for. for this. holds up paper Kaz: salutes Chase: Uh… Sure thing, man Oliver: Kaz: Kaz: I saluted him. Oliver: I saw.

------

Kaz: I have a weird middle name. Bree: Your first name’s Kazimieras.

------

Oliver: Skylar, remember how we were worried about Kaz’s F-U-T-U-R-E? Kaz: Oh Oliver, you don't have to worry about my furniture! Skylar: Oh god…

------

Skylar: I think you should marry him. Chase: Skylar! That's not what you're supposed to say. You're supposed to say you think we're crazy. Bree: Well, you're crazy if you think you haven't been married to Kaz since you met him, you might as well get presents for it!

------

Oliver: I’m dignified! Skylar: You burst into tears every 3…2…1… Oliver, tearing up: Stop exaggerating!

------

Chase: walks into seemingly empty office Chase, after looking around: Well, I guess the room is empty. What a perfect time to set fire to my desk. Kaz: scrambles out from under the desk

------

Donald: You have a question, Kaz? Kaz: Yeah. It's hard to picture you as a little boy. Did your parents call you Mr Davenport?

------

Kaz: to Chase You're grounded Bree: Wait, does that really work? Can he really ground you? Chase: In certain ways, yes.

------

Bree: You mean you didn't have a good date? Chase: No, I had a great date! He knew what to do, what to say. He was so cool. But his date dropped food, tripped over seats and couldn't think of anything good to say.

[baecvlt]

Oh my gosh! I love Kazuichi!!

Can I request a Kazuichi x female reader where she's a quiet nerd who spends a lot of time studying so she doesn't really have many friends but one day she's extremely stressed out for an exam and she asks Kaz straight up "Fuck me like an animal" just to relieve the tension.

(so kinda rough, feral, lots of dirty talk from Kaz if that's possible please ❤️)

Kazuichi x Quiet Reader

a/n: i love this idea sm i will be projecting onto this

“Hey, thanks for helping me study, it means a lot, really”

“Of course. What are friends for?”

There was a pause as you picked up your pen and began writing in your notepad. “Hey, me and the boys are gonna go out Friday night and they’re all bringing their girlfriends”

You finished jotting down a note in your notepad, clicking your pen. “Yeah? Sounds like fun”. Then, another pause. “So I was kinda wondering if you wanted to come with me, y’know so I don’t look like a complete and fucking loner”. You sighed softly, running your hand through your hair. “I’ll think about it,” you answered, only for Kazuichi Soda (your college friend) to call your bluff. “But that’s what you always say, I’d prefer you say ‘no’ straight up!”. He was right, but that wasn’t gonna change your mind.

“You know I don’t do well around people, you’re one of the only few people I feel comfortable around. I’m sorry”

He shook his head. “No, don’t be. I’ll figure it out, thanks anyway”.

He walked away, not looking back. Part of you felt bad, but you didn’t want to put yourself in this situation where you had to endure being around people you had no business being around. It’s not that you don’t like them, but you never seemed to click. You packed your things an hour later, deciding that regardless of the fact you didn’t do enough, it was getting late and you were sleepy. Upon leaving the library, you noticed Kazuichi was still outside, now by his truck (that used to belong to his uncle because that’s totally worth noting). He waved at you, you waved back and approached him.

“What are you still doing here? Thought you had to be home?”

“I don’t live there no more. I’m rooming with Hajime!”

“That’s great, but why are you still here?”

“I came to take you home!”

You raised a brow, he hardly does that. Why now? Especially, why after you denied accompanying him? “You look so sleepy,” he said softly,“It’d make things easier on ya”. You smiled, rolling your eyes. “Alright,” you said. He became giddy, taking tiny, but quick steps to you door. He opened it for you, then got to the driver’s seat. Now, you were off.

He played soft classic rock on the radio, volume low. He was right, you were sleepy. You leaned your head against the window, looking out of it: the sun was setting and the closer you got home, the darker it became. Finally, the sun was down, stars in the night sky. Then, you didn’t remember much else. Blackout.

“Hey, princess—”

You felt cold against your cheek, wincing a little. The cold turned warm, as your eyes fluttered open. The blur cleared and there was Kazuichi. “You must’ve really been sleepy, huh?,” he teased,“Well, we’re here now”. You looked around, seeing the familiar parking lot of your apartment complex. “How long was I out?,” you asked, still familiarizing yourself with your surroundings. “Maybe ten minutes,” he said,“I think I’m gonna take you home from now on. Pretty long walk, don’t cha think?”.

“I don’t get paid well, I don’t want to burden you on gas money—”

“It’s no burden. It’d be so cool to take my favorite chick home”

You blushed, smiling softly. “Let me walk you up, yeah?,” he asked, getting off the car. He wasn’t about to take ‘no’ for an answer. It was dark, anything could happen going up. I mean, it’s not like Kazuichi has that much fight in him (worst case scenario), but hey, it’s the thought that counts. He took you up the 3 flights of stairs as you told him about your studious day of reading books, taking notes, citing sources—boring shit. All he could do was grin and say,“Damnit, you’re so smart”. You shook your head, snickering.

“Shut up”

“No, seriously. You could be a doctor or lawyer if you wanted to. Something smart, ya know?”

“I guess”

You stopped, letting him know this was your door. “Nice”. You grabbed your key, opening the door slowly. “Alright, well, thanks,” you smiled,“It means a lot that you’re offering to take me, y’know. It gets dark and stuff and I’m always so tired so that just means a lot—”. As you ranted, he wasn’t smiling anymore. His eyes, they just remained fixated on your lips, but you couldn’t have known. You were in your own little world.

“—and don’t worry! I’ll find a way to repay you. I can’t let you do this completely free, even if we are friends, because that’s what we are right? Hey, are you even liste-”

Suddenly, he raised his hands to both sides of your jaw, pulling you in and kissing you. He pulled away, still close to your lips as he whispered,“I’ve always wanted this”. His hands remained on your face, now caressing your cheeks. “I know I’m not that kind of guy that can be smooth and pick up girls, but you’re so sweet to me. I’d do anything for you,” he whispered still,“And you work so hard, you’re so amazing...I just want to make you feel so good”. Just as you were about to speak, his thumb pressed gently against your lips.

“Don’t say anything, Just...if you ever need me, Imma be here”

“Yeah and do what?”

“Leave you shaking a little”

He walked away, leaving you almost on your knees. Almost. “Goodnight, princess,” he said. You said ‘goodnight’, now running back into your house. You nearly squealed and your face burned as you held a pillow. Why did he do that? Why to you? Was he okay?

That didn’t matter. You weren’t upset about it either.

The next day, you walked outside pf your complex, seeing him outside. “Hey, you!,” he said running up to you,“I’m so sorry about yesterday. I don’t know what got into me and—”. You shrugged his apology off. “Don’t even worry about it,” you said,“it’s all good”. He smiled, opening the door for you.

Kazuichi and you decided he would be taking you to school and home, so that was a great thing that happened today. Last night’s incident wasn’t discussed, although you couldn’t stop thinking about it.

Later that day, you found yourself still studying and studying for that test. When Kazuichi, came to you to study, you seemed a little aggravated. “Hey, I’m here for our hour together,” he said. “Okay, just sit down and let me know if you need anything,” you told him. He noticed your tone, it was irritated and tired. As he opened his book and took some noted down, he look at you. You had very noticeable tics (hard blinking) and your hands kept rubbing your temples. It wasn’t until he heard you sigh that he asked,“Hey, are you doing okay?”.

“Yeah, I’m just...—”

You were terribly stressed, you knew that. You looked him up and down,“I need to get something in the archives”. You left him there, but all he could do was follow you. Once there, you saw him head inside,“I don’t like seeing you like this. I think I should take you—”. You closed the door as he spoke, dropping to your knees in front of him. “H-Hey, what are you?-”.

“I’m so stressed, Kaz”

His bulge grew in his jeans, just to see you like that made him hard. You took your right hand, softly palming his growing erection. “Oh— fuck, I~,” he sputtered. “Fuck me like an animal, Kaz,” you whined softly,“Make me feel good”. You pushed him back onto the nearby table where he sat, but propped himself up. He unzipped his jeans and pulled his cock out. He stroked himself a little with one hand as he told told you to “come here” with the other. You got got closer to him, but he didn’t give you time. He sprung out of his seat and got on his knees. He pulled down your skirt and panties, making you squeak. Grabbing your hips, he pushed you back and made you land on the table. As soon as your bare skin touched the cool table, he used his mouth on your dripping cunt. “Ngh!~ Kaz, no! S-Stop,” you whined.

“Mmm, but you taste so sweet”

His hands reached up to rub your trembling thighs as you gripped his hair. “Such a pretty pussy,” he whispered,”so wet too”. His tongue moved from your clit, bow thrusting inside you. His tongue was long, sometimes when you’d hang out, you wondered how it’d feel to have him eat you out, always cursing yourself for it, but bow he was here, tongue fucking your pussy and thrusting it in and out of you. “Kaz...”.

You were wet and close to cumming as he pulled out his tongue, simply placing kisses along your pussy. “So pretty,” he muttered, thumbing your clit. He got up, positioning himself between your legs. He rubbed his cock between your folds. You groaned, feeling his cock play with your warmth. “How do you want this?,” he asked. “This is okay, just please I need you inside me”. He snickered, ramming his cock right into you. You gasped as he kept his pace fast, stroked rhythmic. His tight and painful grip on your hips stopped hurting, your skin easing into his touch. He wasn’t just holding them, though. He was pulling you by them, making sure his cock ruined your insides. “I’m gonna rip you in half,” he spat, tearing your button-up open. You had subconsciously planned this, that’s for sure. You just realized you wore this bra that hooked from the front. “Tits...”, he mumbled, unclipping the front. Your bra burst open, your breasts having some recoil from his thrusts. “God, your face, your fucking face,” he groaned,“When I look at you, I just want to stuff my cock, deeper and deeper in you”. Each time he said ‘deeper’, he thrust hard with his hand on your throat. It was easy to see how little experience he had, he wanted to try everything all at once. You weren’t complaining because everything he was doing just fucking worked. Your eyes rolled back as you covered your mouth to muffle your moans. He took your hand off, but now you were noticing how flushed his face was. “Fuck, I’m sorry,” he grunted, cumming inside you,“I can’t stop, I’m still so fucking hard”.

“Don’t stop, Kaz”

He leaned forward, kissing you softly. You whined against his mouth as you felt his cold hands pinching and rubbing your nipples just right, keeping you in this deep state of arousal. He tried keeping his composure as his only goal now was to make you cum. Watching you cum is something he’s always wanted. Now you’re here, in the backrooms of the school library with him, your cunt sloppy on his cock. “Oh, g-god, you’re so pretty,” he choked out,“Y-Your face remains...angelic as I ruin your— Ah!”. He trailed a butterfly kiss from your lips to your jaw to your neck as he life your leg up, wrecking your uterus at this point. “Ah!~ T-Too deep, too deep!,” you cried. “I know,” he whispered. You felt your orgasm rattle through your body, but before you could cum, you wrapped his legs around you. “H-Hey!-”. You had gotten the best of him.

“Fuck, I-I’m cumming!”

You came along his cock nicely, your spreading warmth making him ejaculate once more inside you. He pulled out slow, watching his cum drip from your hole. Once he got a view of that, he collapsed onto your chest. He pecked your jaw a little, nuzzling you after. “I came too quick, didnt I?,” he asked, insecure about his sexual performance. “No, you went long enough,” your reassured him,“Christ, my legs feel so funny”. He was now concerned.

“Did I hurt you?”

“You were a little too rough”

“I-I’m sorry. I guess I got a little carried away. You’re just so fucking hot”

You kissed him, hoping it’d shut him up. “Don’t say that..just, com on. Help me get dressed”.

He helped you but your panties and skirt back on, handing you his jacket to deal with the ripped shirt issue. He was being cute and slipped your flats back onto your feet. Quickly, you grabbed your school bags from outside and left the library. He took you home, his hand on your thigh the entire way back. You didn’t hate it, though. In fact, when he took it off and apologized for it, you put it back. He smiled, eyes back on the road.

He took you upstairs, this time you decided to invite him in. Now, you were both in bed. He lay on your stomach, caressing your thigh. He suddenly gasped, with a hand on your stomach. “I felt a kick!,” he joked. You rolled your eyes, hitting him with a nearby plush. “Don’t worry, I’ll get you the pill tomorrow,” he assured. “I should shower,” you noted,“You wanna join?”. He became flustered, giving you a look as to ask if you were serious. “Uh, yeah,” he muttered.

“Not right now, though. I’m still a little tired”

“About that, did it help at all with the stress?”

“Sure did”

He smiled, becoming shy,“I didn’t think we’d ever...y’know..”. You kissed him all over his face, making him smile. “Hey, I kinda decided,” you began,“I decided I’ll go with you. As your girlfriend”. He looked at you wide eyed. “Really?!”.

“Yeah”

“I love you— no, wait, I’m sorry-”

“You are so cute”

He blushed, muttering,“Let’s just go take that shower”.

[tickly-trashcan]

Height Matters {KazuScara}

A/N: i actually wrote this a little bit ago, way before Kazuha was announced so i apologize if he’s ooc orz. I’m also working through sentence starters and headcanons, sorry for the wait! some are already queued so expect them soon! Anyways, hope yall enjoy this one!

Summary: After noticing Kazuha’s height, Scaramouche finds himself a bit down in the dumps. How will Kazuha cheer him up?

Word Count: 1.6k (under the cut)

Scaramouche grumbled. He was spending some time with Kazuha, exploring the waters in a cove. Scaramouche had taken off his sandals and hat for better maneuvering, and Kazuha had removed his own shoes as well when Scaramouche noticed something.

He had taken plenty of time to observe his partner’s features. His cream colored hair with a single red streak, the moles that decorated his shoulder blades, his beautiful crimson eyes that could make all of Scaramouche’s worries melt away with a simple glance paired with that sickeningly sweet smile of his. 

But there was something that Scaramouche noticed now that they were standing next to each other as Kazuha held his hand above his eyes, blocking out the sun as he stared over the water. The waves crashed gently against the sand of the cove, making sloshing noises that echoed over the stone cliffs that came over them.

Scaramouche looked over at Kazuha when he noticed it. He wasn’t looking directly at Kazuha, he was looking up at him. Scaramouche felt his heart sink as he noticed that now that he didn’t have his shoes on he was in fact shorter than his partner. 

Kazuha smiled fondly at the water, taking in a deep breath of the salty air as Scaramouche slowly raised his hand, placing it on his head and sliding it off towards Kazuha, realizing it hit just above his ear. Scaramouche’s face darkened as Kazuha turned to Scaramouche when he felt the sudden touch by his ear, showing yet another sweet smile to Scaramouche.

“What’s going on Scar?”

“...You’re taller than me.” He said darkly, and Kazuha’s smile quickly vanished. He held his hand flat on his head and dragged it across the air, seeing that it ended up roughly two inches above Scaramouche’s head. Scaramouche grumbled, and Kazuha frowned. 

He didn’t think it was funny, he knew how self-conscious Scaramouche was with his height, and he definitely didn’t want him to start hating Kazuha because he was a bit taller than him, so Kazuha immediately began to sputter as he tried to find some comforting words.

“Your height doesn’t matter! Plus the shoes add on some extra height, you’re completely fine Scar! Trust me, I wouldn’t lie to you about that!” Kazuha started, waving his hands around in frantic gestures as Scaramouche grumbled, crossing his arms as he sat down in the sand, crossing his legs.

Kazuha frowned, feeling like he wasn’t able to successfully comfort his partner. He sat next to him with a sad look on his face, almost akin to a pout as he glanced over at Scaramouche, who still wore an angry look on his face. 

“I’m sorry Scar…” Kazuha said sadly, and though Scaramouche gave no answer, his expression softened as he glanced over at Kazuha, who frowned.

Scaramouche sighed. He figured he had overreacted a bit, especially with someone like Kazuha who felt responsible to comfort his friends and those close to him. Scaramouche turned to face Kazuha, opening his arms slightly as Kazuha looked at him.

“No, I’m sorry. It’s not your fault, I shouldn’t be angry.”

Kazuha bit his lip to keep himself from smiling wider than before. He was so happy that Scaramouche wasn’t upset with him and he immediately dove into the offered hug, wrapping his arms around Scaramouche’s tiny waist as he held him tightly, Scaramouche letting out a short yelp of surprise with how tightly he was hugged.

Scaramouche wasn’t big on affection, even with Kazuha. He was always the one to initiate it, whether it be a quick forehead kiss or a brief side-hug, and Kazuha respected that. However, there was one thing Kazuha was able to initiate on his own.

A grin creeped up Kazuha’s face as his hands rested on Scaramouche’s waist, Kazuha gently tracing circles on it as Scaramouche froze in the hug, squeezing Kazuha a tad tighter.

“Kaz, no-”

“I think you need a bit of reassurance though, Scar. Can’t have a great Harbinger like yourself feeling insecure about something as silly as his height, now can we?”

Before Scaramouche could let out another word, opening his mouth to speak while all that escaped was a shriek as Kazuha suddenly latched onto his waist fully, giving it a firm squeeze. Scaramouche crumpled forward, pulling his arms off of Kazuha and using his hands to grab at Kazuha’s, squirming in his grip.

“K-Kahahahaz! I hahate you!” Scaramouche immediately gasped out, and Kazuha only chuckled as he pinched his sides, slowly travelling down to his hips before kneading them like dough, Scaramouche throwing his head back as he laughed loudly.

“NOhohoho! Not thehehere!” Scaramouche wailed, and Kazuha only hummed as he continued to squeeze his hips, digging his thumb into the bone and wiggling it around as Scaramouche spasmed in his grip, unable to worm away.

“If you say you’re a lovely height I’ll stop,” Kazuha said, though he knew Scaramouche would never say anything like that.

“Shuhuhut up! Like hehehehell I’d say thahahat!” Scaramouche squealed, jolting when Kazuha pinched where his hip and upper thigh met, a shrill squeak escaping his lips. Kazuha grinned, pinching there again as Scaramouche let out a similar chirp. Scaramouche shook his head but Kazuha simply grabbed onto his upper thighs, squeezing them as Scaramouche positively cackled, throwing his head back as his shrieky laughter echoed through the cove.

Kazuha chuckled at Scaramouche’s rather dramatic laughter, though it was part of what he loved about him. He never let anyone else so much as touch him, but with Kazuha he would be alright with the occasional poke or prod. He wasn’t sure about full-on tickling, but…

Scaramouche wasn’t making much of a move in terms of trying to get Kazuha to stop, and he hadn’t asked him to either. This piqued Kazuha’s interest, and as he slowly travelled down Scaramouche’s thighs, he decided to ask about it.

“Scar… do you like this?” Kazuha asked curiously, and Scaramouche’s face went as red as his eye makeup. He shook his head frantically, jolting when Kazuha’s hands brushed his knees.

Kazuha took note of this but paused his tickling, wanting an answer from his partner.

“Do you?”

Scaramouche didn’t answer, and when he didn’t Kazuha grabbed his knees and gave them a firm squeeze, making him practically scream as he arched his back, trying to uncross his legs which was proving difficult as Kazuha easily squeezed just above his kneecap, sending Scaramouche into a fit of hysterics.

Kazuha realized he likely wouldn’t get an answer if he was attacking Scaramouche in a spot that made him unable to do anything but screech and laugh hysterically, but he didn’t really care. 

“KAHAHahahazuha! Kahahaha - Kazuha!” Was all Scaramouche managed to say before bursting into a fit of unintelligible hysterics, completely spasming as Kazuha hummed, teasing his partner.

“You’re pretty ticklish here, huh? You sure you don’t like it?”

Scaramouche shook his head, a screech bursting from his throat as Kazuha went back to his upper thighs, squeezing the sensitive flesh as Scaramouche arched his back, trying to worm away again before Kazuha wrapped an arm around his waist, gently squeezing his side as he kept him from rolling away.

“Stahahahap! STAHAHAhap!” Scaramouche screamed, his face bright pink as tears started to prick the corners of his eyes. Kazuha ceased his fingers but still held onto Scaramouche, who panted heavily. He looked at Kazuha who offered him a shy smile, Scaramouche quickly glaring at him before shoving him off and into the sand, Kazuha laughing.

“You think it’s funny? I’ll give you something to laugh about!” Scaramouche threatened, and Kazuha immediately started shrieking as Scaramouche pounced on him, hands descending on his sides as Kazuha squealed, immediately squirming as Scaramouche straddled him, digging his fingers in rather hard as Kazuha laughed.

“Scahahahar! Wahahahait, I’m sorrehehe! I didn’t mean it!”

“It’s too late for apologies, Kaz, now suffer,” Scaramouche said, his tone dark as Kazuha shook his head, cackling when Scaramouche crept up to his ribs, a spot he knew was especially sensitive as he dug in, vibrating his fingers against the skin as Kazuha spazzed.

“SCAHAHahahar! Not thehehehere!” Kazuha shrieked, kicking his legs weakly as he covered his face with his hands, only exposing himself more as Scaramouche continued to easily tickle his partner.

“How do you like it, huh? Not so pleasant, now is it?”

“It is! GAha! No no no not thehehehere!” Kazuha shrieked when Scaramouche started to prod at his upper ribs, slowing his pace slightly as his attention was caught by what Kazuha said.

“Kaz… do you like this?” Scaramouche asked, and Kazuha nodded his head. Scaramouche pulled his hands back, Kazuha catching his breath as he looked at Scaramouche with a confused look on his face.

“Why did you stop?”

Scaramouche felt his cheeks warm as he averted his gaze from Kazuha, who sat up and chuckled.

“It’s not embarrassing to like it, Scar,” Kazuha said, holding Scaramouche’s hand as he huffed, his eyes still looking away from Kazuha.

“I don’t like it, I only tolerate it because… because it’s you,” Scaramouche said softly, making Kazuha’s heart melt. Kazuha threw his arms around Scaramouche, who gasped at the sudden touch, though he didn’t pull away. He hugged Kazuha back, still frowning as his grumpiness slowly faded.

“Kahahahaz!” Scaramouche suddenly wailed when Kazuha’s hands were back on him, digging into his ribs with ease as Scaramouche flailed around, trying to escape Kazuha’s devious fingers.

“What’s wrong? You said you tolerated it!” Kazuha teased and Scaramouche could only laugh as he realized those words had basically dug his own grave. He threw his head back as laughter poured from his lips, Kazuha laughing with him as he dug under his arms, making his partner squeal. 

Kazuha had definitely succeeded in one thing that day, and that was making Scaramouche completely forget about his height, and as the two of them laughed in each others arms, all insecurities were forgotten.

[heaven-in-a-wild-flower]

Crows Headcanon: In Lockdown

Read this and more Crows headcanons on ao3 using this link

Chapter 1 (the chapters aren't related and do not continue the story, each can be read separately)

Kaz

Kaz yearns to vanquish the last of his enemies, to admire the bright red of their blood. He feels an ache in him that can only be sated by the sight of beautiful stolen kruge. He fantasises of the glorious feeling of having bested another. He shivers with desire when he thinks of all the fear he could be eliciting in people.

In other words, he's bored. What is a crime lord to do if no crimes can be done? (There is the option of ignoring lockdown and venturing out, but he's not stupid enough to risk getting a virus). He wakes up each morning and trudges to the rooftop because he wants to get some fresh air and some quiet (not because that seems to be Inej's favourite spot). He stays there for an hour or so, memorising various details of the city below (not Inej's smile. She loves sunsets and smiles softly at them). He's always incredibly calm after this exercise. It must be because of all the fresh air.

Then he has to go down and deal with the rest of his Crows, some of whom cannot stop talking at him (Jesper, of course). They all eat breakfast together at the table and chatter all through it. He misses being able to scare people away with just a glance and regale them with their secrets, just to watch them quake. The Crows giggle, how dare they, when he tries it on them. They aren't scared of him anymore and he hates it (loves it).

He then locks himself in his room and spends many hours plotting all the schemes he'll enact after the lockdown is lifted. Oh, the people of Ketterdam won't know what hit them. Someone keeps knocking and leaving food outside so eats that for lunch. He hasn't yet figured out who it might be. They're always gone no matter how fast he goes for the door. But no matter, he'll figure it out, he is Kaz Brekker after all, secrets bow to him.

In the evening they all sit down for a round of cards (sometimes even he falls prey to Jesper's charm). Kaz simultaneously trains them.

"What's the easiest way to temporarily blind someone?" he asks (This is more for personal entertainment than true training because he loves to rile Matthias up).

"Dirt in their face?" Inej asks.

"Bright light to the eye?" Jesper says.

"Tighten a blood vessel?" Nina suggests.

"Spit in their eyes?" Wylan adds. (Kaz will never say it, but he is so proud)

"You're all horrible," Matthias responds predictably, yet everyone hears him mutter, "Smoke bomb is best."

He goes to bed somewhat relaxed, an effect of not having to worry about being attacked in your sleep (or robbed, for that matter).

He'll never admit it to anyone, not even if you threaten to rob all his kruge but, maybe this lockdown situation with all his Crows is tolerable.

Inej

Inej misses the freedom. The freedom of being able to climb and slide and jump her way through any part of the city. Being trapped inside due to the lockdown causes a bit of anxiety in her. It does help to at least be able to see the entire city spread out before her like her very own feast and so she'll spend most of her morning on the roof, bottling up the feeling to last her through the day. She loves the sunset, but every time Kaz joins her at the roof, sneaking what he thinks are subtle glances at her, she can't stop smiling (a small gentle smile, but a smile nonetheless).

In the afternoon she, Nina and Jesper will try to cook. She laughs the most with them, her stomach aching in the best way afterwards. She loves them and endures their high energy goofy selves with equal parts fondness and amusement. The food isn't always the best, but the company is so good that she forgets the taste of it (most of the time, sometimes she has to yell at Jesper not to keep burning the food just to finish a good joke).

In the evenings, she'll sometimes practice some of her acrobatics wherever she can. She secretly gets thrilled by slightly scaring Jesper whenever he walks into a room and suddenly finds her dangling from somewhere. Sometimes when she feels anxious and desperately needs to be calmed, she'll ask Wylan to play his flute and fall asleep curled up wherever she is (Jesper loves taking pictures of her asleep in weird places and Kaz makes sure she always has a blanket on her but only when no one is looking).

Some nights she'll make some of her comfort food and Kaz will lean against the counter, claiming that he's helping (his presence helps her, always, even though he does not do any of the cooking). His absolute silence calms her, it feels both comforting and understanding and she loves the weight of his gaze on her, anchoring her. And every time she asks him to hand her something, their fingers brush and warmth bursts through her body. She loves these quiet nights they have, the way they are both magnetic to the other. She'll smile at him and he'll freeze and he'll move a bit closer to her and she'll tingle with awareness.

Jesper

Jesper, as we know, is a raging extrovert. He’s almost dying staying inside all day. He wakes up in the morning and gets dragged back in by Wylan who won't let him leave before he gives him a good cuddle in the morning. He indulges him, of course. He loves it. He didn't know that being wanted, being loved could feel like this. When he's eventually awake, he'll go chat up Matthias who also gets up pretty early to do his workout (although chat at is more accurate, considering that Matthias barely responds). He has taken to calling Matthias 'Matty' and Matthias loathes it (which means that Jesper does it all the time, of course).

Later, after Nina, Jesper and Inej manage to make lunch, he takes some up to Kaz. He leaves it outside his room and once he's in another room, he pushes any small metal object towards the door to make the knocks (because what use is it being Grisha if you don't use it for friendly pranks?). He hangs out with Nina in the afternoons sometimes and they discuss their favourite shows and characters. Those two will go on for hours without realising it and sometimes they won't even realise that they're being very loud (because that's what passionate fangirling/fanboying is like). As the fashion icons of the group, they also often do online shopping together. Sometimes he'll go from room to room (excluding Kaz's, not because it's locked but because it's, well, Kaz's) talking to everyone and trying to join whatever they're doing and he'll end up annoying everyone in one fell swoop, earning many comments along the lines of, "Wylan, what do you see in him?" Wylan would stroke his chin in thought and respond, "Hmm, you know what, now that you bring it up..." After this, Jesper will attack him with kisses all over his face and giggling, Wylan will forget whatever he was about to say.

Evenings are his favourite though, card time! The Crows refuse to bet kruge because they don't want to fuel his gambling addiction so they'll bet on random things. Losing one of the bets, Jesper had to take shots of Tabasco sauce alternating with shots of milk while singing Hot N Cold by Katy Perry (this was a Wylan dare, he is terrifyingly good at setting dares). The best one was when Kaz lost and had to dance to Watch Me (Whip/Nae Nae) by Silentó while following the exact dance steps (this was a Nina dare. She was laughing so hard tears were rolling down her cheeks. Jesper tried to record it, but Kaz knocked the phone out of his hands using his cane.)

In the nights, Jesper watches Wylan write some of his own songs (a hobby he has picked up recently). He simply can't look away, Wylan's face scrunched up in concentration is too captivating.

"Stop staring," Wylan will complain sometimes, blushing and blushing, "I can't focus!"

Jesper will brush his hand through his curls, kiss his head and respond, "I can't help it, maybe I just like your stupid face."

"I'll dare you to do something truly horrifying tomorrow," Wylan threatens with the sweetest smile on his face and Jesper immediately backs off. He loves this side of Wylan, the side only the Crows get to see. The side who isn't quiet and innocent, who isn't afraid to speak his mind, to assert his place. He gives him one long kiss on the lips, leaving both of them just a little bit dazed and goes to sleep. He falls asleep immediately, all his energy drained and the pillow smelling wonderfully like Wylan.

Wylan

Wylan loves waking up with his boyfriend right next to him, even if he grumbles and refuses to get off the bed as early as Jesper does. His laziness certainly pays off, he gets breakfast in bed so many times! When he does wake up, he'll be groggy for the entirety of the morning (Jesper calls him 'Zombie Boy' in the mornings and if he were more awake, Wylan would probably object to this, but since he isn't, he just grumbles and focuses on not falling face first into his food). He only truly wakes up at lunchtime. He loves making little desserts to surprise the Crows. All their pleased reactions make him blush and grin at once.

He sometimes pulls Jesper onto the couch with him to watch a movie (because he loves spending time with him, not because the rest of the Crows have been begging him to distract Jesper, okay, maybe both are true). Shockingly, Jesper does not like action movies, Wylan found this out the hard way when he put on an action movie the first time and Jesper fell asleep not even halfway through it. Jesper actually likes... romcoms. Wylan loves how Jesper cries and laughs simultaneously, clutching Wylan's shirt and burying his face in it during the sad parts and jerking back up to laugh at the jokes or repeat the dialogues with the characters. Wylan loves being needed like this. He never knew he'd enjoy giving comfort as much as he loves receiving it.

Sometimes it scares him how much he loves the Crows. He hasn't ever known family that didn't hurt him, that liked him as is, no modifications needed. To help deal with this deluge of feelings without getting overwhelmed, he writes music. He pours all of his feelings into his flute and when they come out of it, they are sweet and painful, loud and whispery, sharp and smooth. He doesn't think all the Crows understand this but, it is enough to see a passing smile when they hear it and it is enough for him to get those feelings out there. And the peace he gives Inej when she falls asleep to his music makes him think she understands (she does).

He enjoys torturing the others during card time in the evenings (he absolutely preens when he sees Kaz's approving nod). He'll never tell anyone, but he finds some of his most outrageous dares on Reddit (Kaz knows this, and is even prouder of him at the deception).

He also sometimes lets Nina style his hair. She enjoys it and he does too. He loves the feeling of her hands moving gently through his curls. Closing his eyes, he allows himself to imagine that it's his mother. If he shudders or lets loose a few tears, he pretends it was the cold or the pain from having his hair tugged at. Nina lets him pretend, she understands wanting maternal affection, she's an orphan herself. She thinks having it and then having it taken away due to situations like these is harder than never having had it at all.

He goes to sleep slowly, curling up like a cat and watching Jesper's face in the restfulness of sleep. Oh, how lucky he is.

Nina

Nina has mixed feelings about the lockdown because she's an ambivert. She misses meeting people, but is also really happy and comfortable just staying in and hanging out with the other Crows.

She wakes up in the morning, not too early and not too late, but obviously later than Matthias because who even wakes up that early? Anyway, she stretches and lounges in bed for a while, enjoying the warmth. When she wakes up, Matthias is usually about to go for a shower (so he's sweaty, very very sweaty). He tries to hug her, but she dodges. "No, no! Take a shower first!" He grins and grabs her again (Is this really what all his Fierdan training is meant for? He thinks so, yes). Even though she doesn't quite enjoy the feeling of sweat-slicked arms around her, she loves this side of Matthias. This playful, childish side that only she gets to see. Every time it pops up, she feels proud, honoured even that he trusts her enough to be himself with her. It makes her heart warm.

After all the breakfast shenanigans, she goes into a room and picks up her knitting supplies. She's picked up this hobby in the lockdown to kill time, but now she's actually quite enjoying it. She makes socks and scarfs and sweaters and beanies, all with bright colours and cosily mismatched. She then gifts it to the others. She knows that they don't like it and that is why she pretends that they are genuine gifts. They wear it and she loves how they look it in. It makes her crack up so many times (she also loves them for it).

Wylan lands up with a pink and yellow coloured beanie that is about two times too big for his head. It keeps falling into his eyes and making him look like a little poisonous mushroom. Jesper gets a giant rainbow scarf that he loves. He wears it all the time and makes sure to hit as many people with the ends of it as he rewraps it around his neck over and over again. Inej gets a bright blue sweater with green and orange polka dots that she drowns in. Nina knows that Inej likes the way it covers her hands and keeps them warm. Kaz gets purple and black striped socks that he claims he never wears, yet she sometimes sees them in the wash. Matthias is so aggressively supportive of her that he wears all her creations at once, a beanie, a sweater, two scarves and a pair of socks. He's like a human furnace and she loves to cuddle him in them (she also suspects that he loves this too and this is the real reason he does it, but she, of course, doesn't mind).

She loves using her dares in the evening to embarrass Kaz because that is her true purpose in life, she is simply superb at it. And the glares she gets in return fuel her very soul (and if it makes Inej smile, then that's just an extra benefit).

She sometimes has girl-time with Inej, where they paint each other's nails and talk about Kaz or sometimes they talk about nothing at all. They play music and simply enjoy each other's company.

She and Matthias go to bed cuddling, his warmth wrapped all around her, or her warmth enveloping him. She didn't know a pair of arms could feel this wonderful, but she knows that it wouldn't work with just any pair of arms. Only his, always his.

Matthias

Matthias enjoys the lockdown time. He likes all the extra time, which he fills up with all sorts of activities he's always wanted to try. He also feels anxious if he's being unproductive so it's a win-win. He wakes up early. The waking up part is easier than leaving the circle of Nina's arms, but he manages somehow. He works out, ignoring Jesper and that accursed name (Matty).

Later, he moves on to his current hobby, woodworking. He's working on an extra cupboard so that Nina has space for all her clothes (she keeps buying more because she's bored and online shopping kills time, but Matthias blames it entirely on Jesper). Everybody is a bit jealous of how productive he is during the lockdown, but they also love it because of the gifts they get from it.

Matthias made Kaz a new cane with more modifications and a better grip and took Nina's help to make sure that it matched his "aesthetic" (he's still a bit unsure what that means, but by the way Kaz's eyes widened, he knows Kaz liked it, so that's enough for him). He made Inej some new scabbards and the way she held his gaze and thanked him for it sincerely touched him (this is why Inej gets the most gifts, comparable only to how many Nina gets). Wylan got a dartboard with Jan Van Eck's face on it that he loves (It was supposed to be a bit of a joke gift, but Wylan is now a master of darts and enjoys it quite a bit, so there's that). Jesper got a holster that Nina insisted on bedazzling and when they gave it to him, his whole body stilled and tears filled his eyes. He leapt at them which Matthias nearly took for an attack before he hugged them (Matthias still thinks of this as a different type of attack, but he supposes that it is tolerable) (Jesper now tries to hug him all the time).

The part he enjoys most is relaxing with Nina. When they're cuddling he feels the warmth seep through his skin all the way to his heart. When he asked Nina if she was doing something to his heart with her Heartrender powers, she laughed and laughed and laughed. That made his heart thud louder and louder, making him believe that she really was doing something to it. All the cuddling reminds him of the first time they did it, huddling together in Fierda to conserve warmth. He doesn't know how it happened, but somehow he has her now and it is everything.

(Comment what you think about this, it would mean the world to me! <3)

Next chapter

Let me know if anyone wants to be added to the tag list.

[dandunn]

kaz 94?

94 - unadvised

(art by bromantically/beanies-doodles)

"What?" Kazuya said, turning his head to the dragon at his side. The stifling heat of evening was starting to make him feel like a large shellfish, being gently steamed in a pan with white white and onions. He could barely concentrate on what his boyfriend was saying.

"I said that this is a stupid idea," Matty said, his muscular arms crossed over his chest. "You don't have to impress me, I already love you." 

Kazuya snickered and grinned, showing all of his teeth. Matty loved his smile. 

"Can't your aunt make us some kind of ice magic to keep us cool?" Matty said, waving the leaf-shaped fin on his tail in his face. He had been doing it so much that his tail was on the verge of sprain. 

Even for cold blooded dragons, the heat in London that summer was unbearable. Staying in the tiny one-bed flat with its dinky fan and no air conditioning was out of the question, leaving the pair of dragons wandering the London streets at night, desperate for some way to cool down. 

“Auntie Iris works all day making magic for her job, I’m not gonna show up and bother her at this hour.” Kazuya grumbled.

“I think she might prefer being bothered over us both getting a breaking and entering charge.”

It was a very good point, but Kazuya’s mind was already racing ahead, single track mind with one goal: get out of the heat.

"What's one more? My brain is melting," Kazuya moaned, the crest on the top of his head extended out as far as it would stretch in a desperate attempt to cool down, "can't think, let's just go." 

A pair of deep red eyes set in a scaled black and crimson face rolled at him. Matty looked like a dragon who had crawled out of a fantasy story, the ones where evil gold-hoarding dragons destroyed villages and tried to roast little halfling people with hairy feet. 

Until you got to know him, the first thing Kazuya had seen him do was attempt to pull off a skateboard trick and almost de-bollock himself on a railing. 

You might have called it love at first sight.

Matty was a total idiot, which made him a perfect match for Kazuya, because he was also an idiot. Together they coasted along in the kind of serenity that only complete brainlessness can achieve.

They were moving through a tight alleyway, towards the back entrance of a  large ice skating rink.

They snuck past a night guard, and Matty pressed himself against Kazuya, using his chameleonic scales to blend them both into the side of the building. 

Another guard passed by, one that Kazuya didn't see coming. Matty beamed as the guard passed, allowing them to sneak into the building through a degraded old back door. 

The ice rink was deserted, smoothed out and scratch-free, ready for the next day of hundreds of people to loop and whirl around on its surface. 

The air inside was deliciously chilled and Kazuya's scales sang in relief. He was so excited to feel the cold ice of the rink on his body that he broke into a sprint, vaulting the barrier. 

Matty burst into loud crackles as Kazuya's feet went out from underneath him. 

"Hey shut up!" Kazuya cried, tears springing in his eyes as he continued to slide on the ice, his clawed feet either side of his head. "You wouldn't be laughing if I'd cracked my skull open!" 

"It would take a lot more than that to crack your fat head open." Matty called back, holding his stomach as if he were afraid his guts were about to burst out. He grabbed the sides of the rink as he stepped out onto the ice, talons slipping and sliding until he bore down on the ice with his claws. 

"See, it's easy if you don't rush." Matty made his way over to Kazuya, using his claws like snow shoes and taking wide, looping steps. He was doing pretty well until Kazuya grabbed his ankle and pulled him down. A surprised yell and a thump later and Matty was lying perpendicular next to him. 

"Oh look, you fell." Kazuya said flatly. Once he had unhooked his feet from around his ears he sighed. The ice felt damn good against his back. 

"Huh, would you look at that?" Matty replied. He too groaned a sigh as he rubbed his scales against the ice, making scraping sounds as his many spikes and spines perforated the surface. "I hope that wasn't part of the 'you trying to impress me' thing."

"What would you say if I said it was?" 

"I'd say of course you impressed me babe, well done."

"Fuck you."

They lay there, nuzzling each other affectionately before deciding to do a few loops around the ice. They managed to get in a few complete circuits before the police came, tipped off by the silent alarm on the door they had snuck in through. 

"Hope it was worth it." The cop said as he slipped into the front seat, after handcuffing them both and dumping them in the back seat. 

Kazuya and Matty snickered, covered in ice and still feeling the delightful residual coolness from their time on the rink. 

"Hey mate, we don't have any taxi fare, could you drop us off on the corner? We'll walk back home, it's fine." 

"Shut up!" the cop snapped. 

[in-my-feels-probably]

INEFFABLE - Kaz Brekker

Chapter Ten

If you would like to read this on Wattpad, it’s on there as well, my @ is in_my_feels_probably and there’s a few visuals and better descriptions and stuff on there. otherwise, enjoy, let me know what you think, and you can check out my masterlist for updates and more. don’t forget to read the prologue, it’s important to the story!

INEFFABLE – Kaz Brekker

ineffable (adj.) too great to be expressed in words, utterly indescribable; too sacred to speak of. 

Chapter Ten

The Crows quickly navigated the palace halls, trying to get to Jesper at the meeting point as quickly as they could. He was supposed to be waiting outside the escape route, standing watch, overlooking the carriages, which was their escape plan, and Elham was praying he was ok and waiting for them so she could get as far away from the Little Palace as possible.

She was cursing herself the whole way, punishing herself for not getting Alina away from the Darkling. She didn't have much time to ponder how colossally they had failed, or how pissed Kaz was going to be for her not telling him that she was an Inferni, although he would have plenty of time to sulk on the way home, because he had finally led them outside, spotting Jesper.

They trudged over to him, Kaz now very obviously limping, and Elham looked even more worried than Jesper did.

"Wow, Elham. I've never seen you in a dress. Interesting."

She sent a glare his way, and he immediately reeled back.

What happened, you ok?"

Inej's face lit up. "She's real, Jesper. She made the light sing."

Kaz grumbled next to Elham. "We lost her."

Jesper chuckled, turning towards the carriage, a smile on his face, his voice full of amusement.

"Did we?"

Kaz squinted his eyes, before speaking. "Well, we don't know where she is."

Jesper was still chuckling. "Don't we?"

Elham froze, before catching up to Jesper, spinning him around by his jacket.

"What can I do for you, love?"

"Jesper, very much not the time for you to be joking. What do you mean?"

"Just ask."

"Jesper!" Elham let a flame pool in her palm, and Jesper immediately gasped, taking a step back.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do that."

Kaz stepped up as they began climbing into the carriage. "We don't have time for this, just get in, and you can give us all a very well deserved explanation."

His tone was menacing, and Elham sunk into her seat she had taken next to Inej.

"Do we have a fix on where the target is?"

Jesper glanced towards the back of the carriage, before smiling, snapping the reigns. The carriage jolted forward, and they began making their way off the palace grounds.

---

It had been a few minutes of riding in silence, and the air was thick with tension. Elham pretended not to notice Inej's glances toward her hands she had clenched in her lap. Jesper kept glancing over his shoulder at her, but she wouldn't meet his eyes.

Kaz hadn't turned around once, eyes set straight ahead.

Jesper finally broke the silence. "So...do you want to tell me what the hell that was?"

Elham took a deep breath, willing herself not to cry. Through clenched teeth, she spoke. "I'm an Inferni."

"Well that's obvious, love. I think we all gathered that. Why the hell didn't any of us know? And why show us now?"

Elham thought back to the orphanage she grew up in, to being tested and taken to the Little Palace. Meeting Nina, training with Baghra, finding out about the Darkling. Escaping and coming to Ketterdam. Going through a year of pain, meeting Kaz and becoming part of the Dregs, then the Crows, part of a family.

Kaz still hadn't turned around, but she knew he was listening. Inej had turned to face her, contently listening.

"Ok, ok, alright. You all know I'm an orphan, I grew up in Karamzin until I was 10 or so. I don't know who my parents are, what happened to them, or why they didn't want me, I just know I was born in Novyi Zem and I was taken to the orphanage, and I lived there till the Grisha came to test the new children. They tested me, and took me to the Little Palace to become part of the Second Army, to start training."

Jesper turned around slightly, eyeing her. "You're telling me you lived here, and didn't wanna tell us any vital information to get us inside?"

"I didn't want you to know, ok! It wasn't exactly the best time of my life here."

"Why not?" Elham felt a tear roll down her cheek, and quickly wiped it away. "I'm an Inferni, but I'm not like the rest of them. They have to use something to create a spark, they can't just summon it like I can. The problem is, it's unpredictable. I never got a hold on it, so they would rarely let me use it in training. I had to learn physical combat skills instead, which did actually come in handy in the Barrel."

Inej had grabbed Elham's hand now, giving it a reassuring squeeze. Kaz had slightly turned in her direction.

"Anyways, everyone thought I was a freak, people were scared of me, they didn't want to be around me. Besides Nina."

Kaz fully turned around towards her at that, and you could almost detect a tone of hurt in his voice. What else hadn't she told him? "Really? You know Nina?"

"Knew. I haven't seen her since I was 13. She was one of my only friends in the Little Palace, and even then, I hardly saw her. Etherealki don't interact much with Corporalki, each type of Grisha generally sticks to their own order. Nina left before me though, she was quite skilled, and the Second Army needed new soldiers. I wasn't anywhere near ready, so I was left alone. Baghra took a liking to me, and made me her personal project."

Inej quipped up. "Who's Baghra?"

Elham's lips turned to a frown. "The Darkling's mother."

"What? Isn't the Darkling like a hundred years old?"

"Yes. And so is she. He just plays her off as an older mentor that had joined when he first came into service for the King. Which wasn't in the past hundred years, by the way."

Jesper sounded exasperated. "What does that mean?"

Elham almost laughed, and she would have if there wasn't a pit in her stomach and she felt like she could burst into tears at any moment.

"The Darkling, and the Black Heretic...they're the same person. He's been faking his death every few hundred years and coming into the service of a new King, now he serves the Lantsov line. I'm sure he was alive when the first Lantsov became King, he's that old, and so is Baghra."

Inej gasped, her face going pale. "The Black Heretic, the one who created the Fold...the Darkling did that?"

"Yes."

Kaz finally spoke up. "How the hell could you possibly know all of this? I find it hard to believe someone decided to tell all of this to a 13 year old girl."

Elham narrowed her eyes at him. "They didn't have a choice. Baghra had to tell me, it was the only way she could get me to leave."

Jesper was pinching the bridge of his nose. "Saints, Elham, alright, I'm gonna need you to explain a little bit better than that."

Elham nodded, sitting up straighter. "As I said earlier, Baghra started watching over me. She didn't like the idea of a Grisha not being able to defend themself. So she made me choose a weapon, and master it. She had me running drills, practicing sun up to sun down. Saints, I've never been as tired as I was training with her."

Elham chuckled, but it was pained, and her smile didn't meet her eyes. "She taught me some ways to try and control my powers, but I would never be as good with them as I was with a sword, and I think she knew that, so she let me master it before she started training me with my powers. We would practice away from the other Grisha, she didn't want me distracted. One day, the Darkling sat in on my training."

She took a deep breath, attempting to calm herself. "He never told me why he was there, and Baghra lied and said he just liked to check in on the training sessions every once in a while. It's awful to say, but Saints, I would have done anything to have people look at me like he did when he watched me use my powers. He didn't look at me like I was some freak of nature, he saw my potential. I was so naive, I should have known."

Kaz was intently staring at Elham, watching the emotions change in her face. "Know what?"

"That he wanted to use me. My powers are different, I can summon them whenever I want, and the more I used them, the stronger I got. I could blaze down a whole forest if I wanted to and not even break a sweat. He made sure Baghra was teaching me to control them, and then he started taking me to training sessions himself, asking me questions."

Kaz's jaw was clenched. "Like what?"

"Like if I was scared of his powers. Or if I was sick of people looking down on me. When I started getting a grip on my powers, he took me from training out into the forest to practice more. And then...he--"

Elham choked down a cry, rubbing her hand down her face. "He wanted to see if he could use my powers with his. He had me create a flame, and he would twist darkness into it, making the flame grow. He could pull the flame towards him, moving it without me having to. Saints only know what I could have done with an amplifier."

"What's an amplifier?"

"An object that a Grisha can use to enhance their power. The Darkling is one himself, he was by far the best method to me controlling my powers."

Inej squeezed Elham's hand again. "I don't understand, why'd he take such interest in you?"

Elham couldn't stop the tears from falling this time. "He wanted to use my powers and his in the Fold. He wanted to light the whole thing up. It would have been a mountain of fire and darkness. He never wanted to destroy the fold, he wanted to make it a weapon." She chuckled darkly. "I didn't want to believe Baghra when she told me. I was just beginning to feel like I belonged, and it felt like she was ripping that away from me. I'm not completely heartless, though, I never would have let him use me like that. I have no love for Ravka, but I could never add to his incessant need for destruction and power. I escaped, and never thought about coming back."

Jesper laid a hand on her knee. "I'm sorry you had to come back."

She gave him a small smile. "It's alright. I think I needed to. I needed to face this, I needed to face him. Besides, I had to at least try and get Alina out. When you all went into the palace, and I had to try and find another way in, I took the trail I used to escape. It led right to Baghra's hut, she's the one who helped me get inside the palace. I had to see if what everyone was saying was true, if the Sun Summoner was real, so I went to her."

Elham was actually smiling now, and Kaz's shoulders eased at the sight of it. "You know, she was the one who gave me the sword. The one I had all those years in Ketterdam."

The smile faded. "The one Pekka Rollins broke. I had almost forgotten about that."

Kaz watched her face fall, and despite himself, his heart clenched at the sight. She continued.

"Baghra told me that I needed to get Alina out, and I promised her I would. That kind of power in the hands of the Darkling, it would be catastrophic...oh, Saints!"

"What?"

"Baghra! If Alina escaped, the Darkling is going to find out who let her go, who told her about him. He's ruthless, he'd kill his own mother. If anything happens to her..."

Elham trailed off, unable to speak. Despite not knowing the right thing to say, Kaz couldn't bear to watch her in pain, and watch her sit there suffering. He hesitated then spoke.

"You know, she is the Darkling's mother. She's survived all of these years before him, I'm sure she'll long outlive him. If she's anything like how you talk about her, she has nothing to worry about."

Elham sniffed, nodding at him gratefully. "So...now you all know, I guess. About me, and everything. Surprise?"

Inej let out a laugh, and Jesper was grinning. "Hey, El...want to know another surprise?"

She eagerly nodded, directing her attention to him. He glanced around at the Crows, leaning in. "The Sun Summoner? She may or not be in the back of the carriage in the trunk. Allegedly, of course."

There was silence for a few moments, and nobody moved, stunned. Elham just stared at Jesper, who was grinning like a fool. Kaz relaxed against his seat, his lips curled into the smallest grin.

"Well. Maybe there are Saints after all."

---

A/N - hi guys, i'm really excited to get into the stuff i've had planned since before starting this story, i've got a lot of elham and kaz content coming, hope y'all are ready for it all. let me know what you thought, feel free to reach out, and thank you for the support!

[edoro]

You mentioned Wylan Six of Crows offhand in a post like a week ago and I've been curious about your particular read on him since then so☕️ Wylan Sixofcrows

you know what, i think the Grishaverse is in my top five "shitty media that i really love" list. i could go on for oh such a long time about the many many structural and craft problems in these books.

however i do love Wylan. i like how he has an actual last name but he's Wylan 6oC now and forever.

under a cut because it's long and also a very brief reference to implied csa

okay so... i like Wylan. privileged little rich boy runs off to the slums and then it turns out, oops, his home life was a fucking nightmare and that's why? i eat that up. i enjoy people who blow shit up. no, "i know how to make bombs because i had an upper class education" doesn't make any fucking sense. also kinda questioning how well someone could actually do at chemistry if they can't read tbh? but i don't care, i love every single thing about this archetype.

i love when he gets to have his little baby bitch moments... i just like it when boys are sweet but also rude. he is SO soft and while i enjoy the whole grimy criminess of 6oC i actually also love the fact that he decides to go hang out with his mom and sugar his boyfriend up instead of doing all that shit. boy has morals and he sticks to them.

now it's been a couple of years i think since i was actively looking at 6oC fanfic but like... i found a lot of it irritating lmao. people woobify him to no end but they don't even get the correct balance of "soft, naive, sheltered" to "snarky little bitch boy with firm opinions about things."

i mean, this kid was willing to Say Shit to Kaz right after he tortured and murdered a guy in front of him. Wylan has big fat red Cadillac balls, actually, he's not a simpering baby who bursts into tears at the slightest provocation.

additionally and relatedly tbh a lot of the Jesper/Wylan fic was like... mildly to extremely racist. making Wylan a soft little baby is definitely part of it, and then Jesper becomes his like, nanny and caretaker and tough guy bodyguard but also he needs Wylan to take care of him and run his life because he's just too uncivilized to do it himself and also he has a HUGE dick - and yeah. so. was not super impressed with the fic offerings on display or the character dynamics therein.

also, Wylan has Huge Molested Energy. that whole bit early on in the book where they're speculating on why he left his father's house and Inej is like "well i heard a rumor he got caught fucking one of his tutors"? no one ever addresses that again and there's like, 2 fics about it lmao, and of course it WAS just a rumor but if it was a rumor based in any kind of truth then like... well that would certainly be some kind of a power dynamic going on there, right?

the whole 'disguise him as Kuwei' bit was so stupid and pointless, also? like you can't even defend "have a character racefake for an entire book" with it having been necessary for the plot because it was hands down the most dipshit way to solve that problem.

like, what was Kaz's plan if van Eck didn't betray them? or if he did the vaguely intelligent thing and did the exchange and handed over a bunch of fake money while he went off with - as far as he knew - the real Kuwei? or handed over a bunch of - real OR fake - money and then just quietly had someone burn the Slat down a week later?

like, they're fucking gang kids. no one cares! literally no one is going to care what happens to them and there is no possible way they could seek any kind of legal recourse from the man. he's untouchable.

Kaz's entire plan here rests on van Eck betraying them then and there, because otherwise what happens is that he just handed Wylan over to his evil dad, which i don't think Kaz would care about, but van Eck would figure out he doesn't have the real Kuwei pretty quickly and again, the balance of power here is entirely in his favor and like, He Knows Where Kaz Lives.

it's just stupid and relies on the character knowing exactly how the plot is going to turn out. and then it's just pointless for the next book. we get Wylan Learning About Racism but if she wanted to show how the Shu are treated in Ketterdam then she could have just had Kuwei pov? and honestly including Kuwei pov would have been better i think, and definitely done a lot more for the brief little Kuwei/Jesper/Wylan love triangle.