#I would really like to be healthy
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God I swear Iām not trying to be all doom and gloom talking about my health I know itās annoying I just really need a break and everyone irl is already done with my shit bc Iāve been too anxious to go back to the doctor bc the last one told me Iād just have to deal with it and potentially get more surgeries and Iām 23 dude. It took nearly 3 years before my doctor even agreed that that surgery was necessary and it didnāt even fully fix my shit it just lessened the pain ā which Iām grateful for, donāt get me wrong! But I havenāt had full limb function in my left arm since I was 15 and they made it sound like the surgery would fix it and then acted like I was overreacting when it didnāt. And my left leg has been deeply fucked for nearly as long, and at least slightly fucked at least since I hit double digits, and has gotten progressively worse. So like I know, I get it that I need to go to a doctor, but why would it go better now? Whatās going to make a doctor take me seriously now?
I want to be angry, but Iām too tired.
#chronic health#chronic pain#cpunk#cripple punk#tw surgery#I was told (in a nonprofessional capacity) that I should be screened for ehlers danlos syndrome#which matches a lot of my symptoms#and my parental units want me to get screened for pots#and a heart murmur#and mitral valve prolapse#and asthma but Iāve been tested for that within the last 5 or 6 years and seem to be fine in that regard at least#I donāt want to keep doing this man#I would really like to be healthy#I miss ballet a fuckton#and martial arts#and just being able to go places with my friends without having to plan out how to avoid fainting or pain flares#maybe hEDS#I donāt want to clutter up the actual tags with my hypothetical shit#tw vent#feverās vibe check#feverdreamsandlucidnightmares
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So I'm leaving work and something darts in front of me, maybe 10ft away, too fast for me to see what it is. Peek around the tree blocking my path and I see this
Just like... a whole ass hawk. Dude's gotta be about 1.5ft tall. Massive fucking bird. And it's just staring me straight in my soul like this, even as I try to move ahead. It didn't budge. And there's only this path back to my car unless I want to walk on a busy highway. So I have the option of Death By Raptor or Death By Truck.
So I walk in the poison ivy filled patch off the sidewalk. Guy still isn't moving. Still staring me directly in the eyes. And I do this thing when animals are behaving strangely where I'll talk to them, so I'm just like, "Hey, man. I don't know you. You don't know me. This feels really threatening. I'm just trying to get to my car, dude. Can I get some space please? You're a big fucking bird. I see those claws. You could kill me right now, but I'd appreciate if you didn't, ok?"
It didn't move until I was about 2ft away. Again: I'm as far from it as I can be without walking into the street. It clearly wasn't going to budge. I walk past, thing flies up (silent, btw. Scary) and lands on a brick wall a little further ahead
Anyway. Weird guy. Nearly shit my pants when I noticed a bird big enough to carry off a fully grown cat was just... there, staring me in the face, unwilling to move away from me, a human, something it should see as a threat. I watched behind me the whole rest of the way to my car, just in case this bird decided to help me shed this mortal coil. 10/10 experience. Super cool guy.
#not vc sorry#bird#birds#aves#raptor#hawk#red shouldered hawk#i think. might be wrong on that id#accipitriformes#birds of prey#honestly a really cool guy so close up#I'm happy i wasn't attacked. i would not want to fight a guy that big.#talons on this bird were huge. big scary.#I've never heard of large predatory birds just landing in front of people like that so i don't know what gives#it didn't catch any food or anything. just landed near me then stared me down.#I don't know a lot about bird behavior so i tried to not look back at it but still.#it also didn't look injured. seemed like a healthy bird#if anyone has any idea why this thing would act the way it did I'd love to know
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he says i hate everyone except you and that is addictive and that is kind of romantic and beautiful because you're young and you're kind of a sarcastic asshole too and you don't like bad boys, per say, but you don't really like good ones either. and you like that you were the exception, it felt like winning.
except life is not a romance book, and he was kind of being honest. he doesn't learn to be nice to your friends. he only tolerates your family. you have to beg him to come with you to birthday parties, he complains the whole time. you want to go on a date but - people are often there, wherever you're going. he's just so angry. about everything, is the thing. in the romance book, doesn't he eventually soften? can't you teach him, through your own sense of whimsy and comfort?
at first - you know introverts often need smaller friend groups, and honestly, you're fine staying at home too. you like the small, tidy life you occupy. you're not going to punish him for his personality type.
except: he really does hate everyone but you. which means he doesn't get along with his therapist. which means he has no one to talk to except for you. which means you take care of him constantly, since he otherwise has no one. which means you sometimes have to apologize for him. which means he keeps you home from seeing your friends because he hates them. you're the single exception.
about a decade from this experience, you'll type into google: how to know if a relationship is codependent.
he wraps an arm around you. i hate everyone except you. these days, you're learning what he's actually confessing is i have very little practice being kind.
#i used to think it was romantic too and then i was like. now i see it as a HUGE red flag#writeblr#it is also almost EXCLUSIVELY said by immature ppl who think this is normal#fyi even if u think it's funny and ur like 'im an introvert it's just TRUE' like. you need therapy (ily tho)#healed introversion is just ''i would prefer to be by myself'' not ''i hate every person'' ... hate is not normal. that is not healthy#im sorry. i know it feels accurate. but if you're walking around with that kind of rage....#1. you're making a LOT of assumptions about every single person u have ever met. which is often unfair and unkind#and also usually involves judging people based on their worst moments or little mistakes#2. you are being unfair to the person who is ur ''exception''#3. there is a VAST difference between ''ur my favorite person'' and ''the ONLY person i like.''#idk i think this is just a personal bias thing tbh#im sure there are people who have this experience normally#but i have YET to find a man who thinks like this and ISNT absolute DOGSHIT. although tbh.... like. im sure he exists#when u hit like 30 some of the things that were once kind of hot now just sound fucking exhausting. like ''im in a band''#edit in the tags: i used to kind of be like this too. but the thing is that like. my life became so much more peaceful#once i started believing that people are generally good. like yes i am mad at the world at large#but it's just.... a very hard way to live. you're not a bad person or wrong for the ways other people hurt you and taught you to be angry.#but that anger will continue to hurt YOU. it will punish YOU. it will prevent YOU from making new deep connections. it will protect you yes#but it will also cause MASSIVE blowback. bc if you lose the One Person... your life will fall apart. i know this personally.#i really recommend just trying to be... cautiously optimistic instead. like. yes#people can be horrible and cruel and there are some communities (incels for example) that aren't worth that optimism#but i think like... most people will hold a door for you . most people want to help you find your wallet .#i hope one day you are able to find peace. i hope that rage eventually smooths over. i know how hard it is PERSONALLY#and i know what must have happened to you. and im deeply deeply sorry we share the same wound.#but i promise - sometimes we all need someone else to help us carry the weight. eventually the rage has to die so that we can let help in#i had to spend years biting at outstretched hands. i still often do. im still very wary . and my heart breaks that you flinch too.#here's the thing: i don't blame you. but we were both acting out of fear and pain. .... not out of healthy behavior. and ... change#was needed. i needed change too. rage was useful for a while. then it just left me isolated and bitter. i had to (with effort)#choose to let that rage go. and let people in . VERY SLOWLY THO LOL
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Maāam, you are deviously incredible š„ Weāre begging for an exploration of him saying āI love youā while fucking her like he doesnāt š„¹
My brain keeps picking up the storyline a few splendidly torturous hours in when her bodyās completely spent & quivering & sheās a blubbering mess & thatās when he picks her up & takes his sweet time positioning her so she can limply yet eagerly watch their reflection has he finally gives herā¦ exactly what her twitching bodyās been craving. š„µ
I'm so glad you all enjoyed the thought of this as much as I did because I've been dying to expand on it šµāš« (Part 1 here)
I like to imagine by that stage, he's absolutely desperate too though. He's got to feel your sweet little pussy clench and flutter around him, contracting so tight every time you cum that he swears it's going to be the end of him.
He's been too hard for too long, buried inside your body and he swears he's never felt you this wet or this hot before. It's been fucking luxurious, forcing you to cum against his fingers, feeling how your body's natural reaction is to coax him to drain his balls into you but that alone isnāt enough. He needs more than that.
He wouldn't admit it to you but he can't take any more. His balls feel like they're fizzing; overfull and beyond ready to flood your waiting, overstimulated body.
He arranges you gently, laying you on your front because he doesn't trust your trembling arms to support you. "That's it, good girl." He coos, hearing you whimper and sob pathetically because he needs to slip out of you to slide a pillow under your hips.
"You've made such a mess." He groans, taking a second to appreciate the delicious, inviting, slick little cunt he's about to indulge in. "You're dripping, sweetheart. God, I just know there's no way I'm going to be able to pull out."
His huge hands are gripping your hips and with one sharp, brutal thrust, he's back inside you and you both sob pathetically at the feeling of your bodies being joined again. This is exactly what you've needed but you don't have the words to tell him that. All you can do is whine and will your body not to cum again so soon.
"I meant. What I said earlier." He punctuates his sentence with soft groans, drawing back until he almost slips out of you before pounding back in.
He leans forward, tilting your chin up, making sure you can see the way he's fucking you in the mirror at the end of the bed.
"I love you. And I don't want you to forget that." He sounds sincere, one hand trailing up from the small of your back to right between your shoulder blades and then back down again. It feels intimate and tender but all that is forgotten by the very next thrust.
"I love you. But for now, you're just a mindless. Little. Drooling. Breedable. Cunt for me." He slows his thrusts down, determined not to cum so soon but it's going to be difficult to last until he gets the first couple of loads out of the way.
"Baby..." You whimper, feeling the tip of his cock nudge against your sweet spot, making you shake from overstimulation.
"I know sweetheart, I know. It's too much. But you're being so good for me. You're so perfect. How have no idea how you feel. So wet and warm and I can feel you fluttering around my cock. It's like you're trying to squeeze every last drop of cum out of me. Is that what you want? Because angel, I'll keep this delicious cunt stuffed full of load after load until I have nothing left to give you."
His thrusts are punishingly fast, thumping against your raised ass, half chasing his orgasm, half holding it back.
"And when I do, I'll remind you just how much I love you. And the baby I'm going to give you tonight."
With that thought, he can't stop himself from cumming, his dick twitching inside you as he shoots thick ropes of his seed right against your cervix. You're so cock-drunk you can only rut yourself millimetres back and forth but that's all you need to send yourself spiralling into another orgasm that leaves you trembling and sobbing.
"Fuck, you want that as much as I do, don't you?" He kisses the back of your neck, breathing you in while letting the euphoric rush subside. He notices he hasn't softened in the slightest despite such an intense orgasm but he knows he needs to be gentle with you for a moment before he can get any rougher.
#asks answered <3#becca writes spice#anon#bucky barnes smut#bucky barnes x reader smut#needy!bucky#please no one think this is what a healthy relationship is like#but this really really does something for me#the level of nasty in me for someone who'd say stuff like that is truly endless#I'll be the āØfreakiest āØwife for someone some day#but for now I've fallen in love with the eviee sendal Doc Martens#and I can't do that#because I know if I get them I'm going to feel way too hot#and that would be dangerous for everyone tbh
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sometimes iām sooooo blown away by the fact that kevin is so smartā¦ā¦. like yes he is the fox with the highest grades despite being also the fox with the tightest training schedule and yes he canonically gets called an obsessive genius and yes the extra content explicitly says he is both very smart and very willing to teach people. but really i am thinking about kevin playing reporters like fiddles, jean calling kevin too good of a liar to ever let anything slip, kevin going up to andrew post-game and wordlessly helping cover up the fact andrew is off his medicine by pretending andrewās racquet had broken (and then proceeding to discreetly crush it in his hand when the foxes gather around andrew), kevin living a lifetime of walking on the edge of rikoās knife, kevin hiding french, hiding thea, kevin spotting potential from a mile away, kevin who even riko thought was brilliant and sharp-tongued. yeahā¦ā¦..!
#hes really one of the smartest aftg characters my sister deserves some credit#book smart and media smart#he could start a cult if he wanted to but he doesnt he just wants to play exy#its actually really really really cool to me that kevin is smart but his motives are so simple#he wants to live. he wants to play exy. he wants jean to be happy. he wants andrew to enjoy exy. he wants neil to live#yeah he could use all those smarts for evil but he doesnt want to he wants to use them for fun and for texting thea and for exy#i dont know if my point is getting across here but i just i really like himā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦.. kevin is so simple minded and yet so smart#he wants a world of people falling over each other like puppies and if he didnt we would be fucked but he does#kevin is really the first healthy manipulative girlfriend#kevin#txt
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if you want people to get into the canon comics and lead everyone away from fanon misinterpretation (which is a losing battle because there will ALWAYS be this) then why not be helpful instead of being a dick about it š¤Ø
the comics are hard to get into because it's hard to know where to start, and there's so much content that people are able to fill themselves in by reading fanfic or watching something on tiktok or seeing posts about it on here. perhaps instead of telling people they're stupid for not realizing your favorite character is being mishandled by others, you could write up a list of your favorite comics and/or how, if you could read them for the first time again, you would order your favorite comics to get the best reading experience. and also write your own fanfiction and draw your own fanart or make a passionate post, answer questions politely
#this is based on that one tiktok user who is actually doing some good#where they are fighting misinterpretation of batfam characters by making informational slideshows#i forgot their username so if someone knows who i'm talking about would be really cool and awesome if you could remind me :3#i saw their posts and was like āwow someone who can talk about canon and their opinions without just complainingā#proactive and i like it#on the other hand sometimes there is a healthy medium and it won't kill canon lovers to let people have some fun#it's not hard to be nice guys you just don't call people stupid and you ask questions#and i don't mean passive aggressive questions#i mean a genuine conversation without getting butthurt#i'm looking at BOTH sides when i say that#anyways if you want to#use this post to list your favorite comics and/or how you would advise someone to read your favorite character#etc etc#ik there are lists online#but this could also be a place to find it#dc#dc comics#batman#batfam#batman comics#batman and robin#ao3#ao3 fanfic#fandom#dc fandom#comic book#comics order#dc reading list#batman reading list#canon vs fanon
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Rook: I'm really worried about Davrin and Lucanis, they keep arguing with one another... Its very bad Varric, what if it effects them in battle?
Varric, remembering that one time Fenris broke Ander's nose then took a knife in the back for him in the same night: I'm sure they'll be fine kid. They're barely even arguing if you ask me
#dragon age#dav spoilers#sorry its so funny to me#varric hearing the veilguard talk about their problems like adults instead of fucking/drinking/fighting their way out of it:#'wow my kirkwall friends really were fucked up losers huh:#'* whoops#i wish veilguard cast was a little bit toxic... i need them to be mean#lucanis should hate me so much more for choosing minrathous over treviso#i was counting on the yummy character drama...#he does trust rook a little bit less cause of it though so ill take that#i do feel bad about treviso im already planning a crow rook to save it and romance lucanis#sorry to compare these two to fenris and anders again i just think its funny#they should let me stick anders in the middle of the lighthouse#his sheer inability to cope with shit in a healthy way would be like setting off another bomb#someone tries to applogize and anders starts on his Bullshit you know what I'm talking about#can you guys tell i miss him. hes so bad at coping babygirl come back to me...#crow rambles
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what do u think ritsu would do if he got stuck in a time loop
oh he would go insane. like, immediately. you know how in a lot of time loop stories, there's a point where the character kind of loses it? it would take no time for ritsu to reach that point. like as soon as he realizes he's trapped, he will Freak The Fuck Out. he'll either throw himself really intensely into trying to figure out how to end the time loop, or he'll go completely off the deep end and start blowing shit up because it'll all be reset by the next day. potentially both.
of course, this is all presuming he's alone in the time loop. I think if he had someone else trapped in the time loop with him, he'd be less likely to lose his mind and instead would work really hard with them to break it. but if he's by himself in the time loop, he would not cope well
#asks#crystalv01d#ritsu is already the most likely to realize he's trapped in a narrative and would hate it#I cannot imagine him being mentally healthy about a time loop situation sdkljfkldsjf#unless mob or shou or even reigen or teru were stuck in the time loop with him#in that case he'd be okay and stay grounded#left to his own devices however. madness ensues.#this is reminding me of that really funny mob psycho time loop fic tho#I like that he managed to break through the mental block on it through sheer force of will. that's my son right there
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Would kill to read animal POV fiction that has the animal POVās interaction with humans be like, semi realistic to the level of caution most predators take with large prey and/or competitors (including humans).
Like instead of the usual - āthe human is such a weak, pathetic creature... so slow, no claws, blunt teethā¦ completely helpless without its 'Fire Sticks'. how is it the master of the earth?ā type crap itās like, the bear protagonist or whatever approaches some dude who spreads their arms and yells and the bear is like āFUUUUUUUUCK THAT THING JUST GOT HUGE. IT'S LARGE AND MAKING NOISES. HOLY FUCK.ā
#A lot of this realm of fiction tends to severely overestimate how physically weak humans are in the grand scheme of things..#A human body ft. no tools has a pretty average level competency at escaping predation. WITH tools it's significantly above average.#Like a lot of human physiology IS the way it is because of reliance on tool/fire use but interspecies competition/predation is really not#a literal battle won by physical strength + teeth + claws (at least until the actual process of killing)#Intimidation and shows of strength/threatening behavior can go a long way. Healthy predators (who aren't unnaturally#accommodated to humans) are generally going to be cautious and may avoid confrontations they absolutely COULD win because#the risk of injury is judged as too high#And most animals can't weigh risks in the most objective manner and won't understand that you aren't any 'bigger' just because you#wave your arms and yell. That is why puffing up/spreading out as a threat display is so ubiquitous in nature.#Massive tangent but this is why I fucking loved Prehistoric Planet so much like the commitment to having its dinosaurs behave like#actual animals is fantastic and tragically rare#Like having a scene where a T Rex gets bullied away from a carcass by two much smaller azhdarchids.. Yeah that is probably#how it would behave. It's not a mindless killing machine it's an animal so is going to avoid confrontations it deems too risky even if it#WOULD win in an all out brawl. thank you so fucking muych.
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say it with me everybody: personal health is completely immaterial to morality, including mental health. leading a mentally unhealthy lifestyle (or what you perceive as a mentally unhealthy lifestyle) does not a bad person make. no one has to socialize, exercise, have healthy coping mechanisms, or lead (what you perceive as) a fulfilling life with fulfilling hobbies in the same way that no one has to go to the doctor to get a broken bone reset. both of those types of management of personal health are likely to be beneficial to the individual, but they are in no way moral requirements or debts owed to society. they do not actually say anything about a person's principles, personality, or actions towards others. additionally, people know themselves and their own situations better than you do. maybe a person judges that the physical and financial toll of going to the doctor outweigh the benefit of getting their bone reset, maybe a person just does not have the capacity to develop healthy coping mechanisms at this point in their life, and yes, maybe a person feels like they are totally fulfilled by "media based" hobbies alone and would feel no difference in their life if they picked up a loom. just like. let people be sick without accusing them of being representative of the lazy, degenerated state of modern society.
#marina marvels at life#there's a way people on here have been talking about ai/tiktok/movies/anti intellectualism/media hobbies/self care that all jives together#that just. really icks me out.#sometimes it comes through pretty transparently with people claiming that you must have regular sex to be a healthy/good person#or conversely that people are more sex crazed now than they've ever been and it's destroying literacy or whatever#or that cheating at school is scandalously immoral and only 'soft brained' bad people would do it#or that collectivism means you have to dress the right way and feel the right way and talk the right way#because your actions affect Others and you might upset someone or give off bad messages if you wear a crop top or are too sad#but a lot of the time it's just this strange plausibly-deniable tone I keep encountering that crept up some time in like 2021 I think#like. am I going crazy here or has anyone else been feeling this?
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no joke but what I really want for Buddy Daddies as a fandom is to make fanart and fanfic post present time ep12 where Rei wears an arm orthosis when working.
I think varied disability aids being represented would be fantastic, and personally would write Rei as someone being deeply proud of something he's done for his family, but also understanding with time that using an orthosis also helps him at work and in raising Miri. with a giant portion of mobility/motorics aids being represented by prosthetics, seeing more variety and exploring it in fiction would also help making a step in normalising disability treatments.
#that's my personal opinion and i just thought about how understanding more about physical disabilities#and how to help people with those aids in case something happens and they ask for help#has furthered my understanding and might even help me in the future if i were ever to experience that#Buddy Daddies Spoilers#Buddy Daddies#Suwa Rei#(again. i want to write Kurusu Rei SO BAD)#text post#Varya rambles#also drawing an orthosis would be real complicated for an animated work so i understand why they chose to hide the arm#but i really like the headcanon of Rei using it sparingly š„ŗ not everyone uses them all the time#+ it's also not healthy if worn all the time. looking @ people who'd let their characters sleep with their prostheis on. smh#and this is also NOT a 'you HAVE to do this'! just something I think would be fantastic#...also I'm like. apparently looking @ a start of a fic where Rei uses it?? is my writer's block finally over?!#here's a hoping šbuddy daddies such a good anime. not perfect not extremely beautiful. but GOOD in HEART#1k
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Alright new Jason Todd headcanons in a dpxdc setting:
Danny is a "liminal" ghost, rather than a "half" ghost. He's alive and dead at the same time. (He's like Jesus Christ (in the church denomination I grew up in), fully ghost and fully human.) Danny, in human form, can go through a ghost shield, because he IS a living human.
Jason, however, is a reanimated corpse. He isn't a ghost, wouldn't have a ghost core, etc, he has a normal human system that runs ON ectoplasm. Jason CANNOT go through a ghost shield, because he is always an ectoplasmic entity. Danny can go through the Fenton Ghost Catcher and be split into a ghost and a human; if Jason went through the ghost catcher, he would straight up die.
(For my purposes I'm gonna say that Jason became an ectoplasmic entity upon his resurrection, but wasn't very stable. Dunking in the Lazarus pit stabilized his system but also poisoned his ectoplasm.)
I do think that Jason could learn certain ghost abilities if he learned to harness his ectoplasm, especially if they detoxed him off the Lazarus waters. He's probably already enhancing his stealth and strength in ways he hasn't really noticed. I think he's held back by the amount of physical matter he's lugging around, so maybe he couldn't fly, but I'm imagining temporary invisibility, or intagibility of like, a limb at a time. Maybe he can't walk through walls, but in a fight he can dodge by instinctively making the targeted part of his body intangible.
#i saw someone call jason a 'revenant' in a fanfic once and that is juicy as hell so I'm stealing that- that's what he is in this au#Jason's ectoplasm does react to other ectoplasmic entities so they can sense eachother#but for ghosts he's fucking weird because he doesn't have a core for them to resonate with or w/e#danny would probably think that he's another halfa/liminal at first but the more time they spend together the more that doesn't add up#so I know that I'm trying to give Jason ghost powers but honestly this whole thing is kind of a bum deal for him#he gets all of a ghost's weaknesses and barely any of the benefits#honestly I'm conceptualizing this as more of a disability than a superpower#discovering that youre less alive than you thought you were and you're technically just a walking talking corpse running on supernatural go#is fucked up and creepy and upsetting!#and it's something that he would have to come to terms with before he could start exploring what new opportunities it might give him#and i think that's really interesting#it's part of why I love messing with Jason in dpxdc stories so much#danny is fully ghost and fully human and he never feels like he fits in anywhere already#Jason is not quite human and not quite ghost so you can imagine how that would go for him#anyways i think they should be best friends and visit frostbite in the realms to make sure jason is healthy and also they should maybe kiss#and listen to the black parade together and talk about dying and stuff#danny fenton#jason todd#dp x dc#dpxdc#danny phantom#dc#batfam#my rambles#revenant jason todd
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Hey, gentle recognition for the people who are taking care of themselves in "not aesthetically-pleasing" ways. To the people who have to do things they don't want to because they know they would suffer more if they didn't, to the people who have to brush their teeth with their fingers, to the people who have to use washcloths to bathe, to the people who need to punch pillows or scream into them to express their intense emotions, to anybody ashamed about the way they need to live and take care of themselves.
You are doing the very best you can with the hand you've been dealt. It's not easy, it's not pretty, but it sure as fuck takes so much to do these things. You are doing what is best for yourself, and I, for one, think you deserve to be proud of that. Self-care isn't easy. It isn't pretty, often, but it's something you shouldn't be ashamed of or hide away because it's deemed "grotesque" or "not really self-care (because self-care is pretty and non-threatening to 'normal peoples' senses)"
#mental health#mental health support#self care#like when i was still in school i would end up forcing myself to go because i knew i would feel worse if i hadn't...#...and i don't think people get how difficult that is. it isn't like you choose to be difficult when you struggle#and feeling ashamed about doing these things only makes the situation worse for them (the person struggling)#something i've just been thinking about#i hate this idea that self-care *only* looks like the 'healthy' person's treat days...#...like lighting candles around your bathtub and putting rose petals in the water...#...because that isn't the only aspect to taking care of yourself. sometimes it looks like forcing yourself to bathe and grieving...#...and using rough washcloths because you can't stand the feeling of your own skin and you can't stand how dirty you feel...#...and obviously i'm not saying that mentally ill people doing self-care is the only way it looks...#...but that it really doesn't help us when self-care is almost made into a 'non-threatening' activity that is pleasant and nice-looking#and of course the examples i used in this post were examples and aren't the end-all-be-all
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beauty of the divorce quartet actually is that no matter where you draw the relationship lines you get a fun and fucked up dynamic to think about
#random thoughts#personally -->#martyn/cleo are mirrors of eachother and the most likely to salvage an actual healthy relationship out of the mess theyre in#BUT canonically they're just divorced obvs#scott/pearl have whatever megamind and metro man have going on if it was soundtracked to therefore you and me#scott/martyn is just straight up toxic yaoi. using eachother cus they can't get their exes back#cleo/pearl are a weird blend of scorn and pity for eachother. they think they understand eachother but never really do. u get me.#scott/cleo would get married for tax purposes. real birds of a feather. i would totally poison you for your fortune lol haha jk unless....#martyn/pearl could be best friends honestly if it wasn't for the whole thing. i think they'd set things on fire together and think its funn#my art#<-- kind of i guess
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here's 18-19 year old aang sketches. been hearing aang is ugly discourseāno he ain't. he was just 12.
#i really wanted to take part in zukaang bingo but the urge to art struck me a little later#i still might make something else later#enough art for now#i'd try to participate in maiko week but i'm not sure#it's smack in the middle of end semester exams#ink blot#avatar fanart#avatar the last airbender#atla#artists on tumblr#fanart#avatar aang#why did i never use the pencil brush before?!?! i seriously have a personality flaw where i just don't explore stuff.#can you believe i've been using the same fucking brush for lineart ever since i started digital art?#anyways! i don't know how the pencil brush would feel like if i go for colours but this is impeccable.#I have more control over stuff and i love the result#so#i have promised myself i'd be fucking off this hellsite because i have a huge backlog of work that needs to be done#and i'm presently suffering from ācan't help but artā. so#yeah. y'all would probably see me around maiko week. byeee!#if i deprive myself of drawing for too long it bursts out of me like this where i do nothing but draw#not healthy at all
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Cuno should join Hardie boys in the future not RCM btw my unpopular hot take opinion thingie.
#disco Elysium#geym#harry and cuno art is cutee#but there is nothing happy in joining rcm i cant see anything but depression in cunos future if he becomes a detective#soo he should join Hardie boys they have their own problems but its actually very much better#like whole game it is already so fucked up playing as harry and seeing how being a cop is so miserable#and even with kim the good cop who trust the system so badly is miserable because he is a cop#and now you want me to believe cuno would be happy if he joins the rcm#plus Cunoesse i dont want her to be alone and her bestie being a pig#i really dont like rcm every time i interact with them with radio or in whirling its dreadful#martinese can be not so healthy environment but compared to rcm its just more hopeful and less dreadful actually#there is still small things in life that makes you happy there some freedom and hope#anyways tldr nooo cuno don't be a pig and hardie boys >>> rcm#now sleepy time for me
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