#I would just ''do it whichever way *I* want to do it'' but a) I want my carrd to be as easy-for-others-to-use as possible
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àȘââŽáĄŁđ© content warning: smut, an insane amount of teasing, dirty talk, praise, sexual touching, masturbation, oral (f!receiving), mentions of sex, power play, switch!chris, switch!matt, switch!reader
àȘââŽáĄŁđ© summary: matt and chris decide to participate in no nut november. the competition gets even more interesting when you get involved, making a bet with the two boys about who can last the longest while you're actively working against them.
àȘââŽáĄŁđ© this fic was inspired/requested by this ask, and this ask, and the song/title was requested by this ask đ€
love potions
àȘââŽáĄŁđ© Day One
"Oh, come on. You guys aren't seriously participating in that stupid trend, are you?" You scoffed after you'd walked in on Matt and Chris talking about their latest competition. "It's not just a trend. It's like a sexual reset," Matt said to you in a serious tone.
"Oh. Okay. I still think it's stupid. Why would you want to torture yourselves for a whole month?" You shrugged. "It's like a test of willpower and whoever makes it longer without needing to nut wins No Nut November," Chris explained.
"What do you win?" You wondered, looking between the two of them. "You're just the winner," Matt shrugged. You rolled your eyes. "And what are the rules?" You inquired, wanting to hear more. "No sex, no masturbation, and you can't do anything to make yourself cum," Chris replied.
"That's crazy. If the regulations are going to be that strict, I think you boys both need a little incentive," you smirked at them. They both glanced at each other and back at you. "What do you suggest?" Matt wondered aloud. "How about whichever one of you loses has to watch the winner fuck me, hmm? Don't you think that'd make it a little more interesting?" You proposed.
"Incentive? That sounds like a punishment," Matt replied, lifting his brows in a shocked manner. "Only if you lose," Chris teased him with a smug smile plastered on his face. "Punishment, reward. Same thing. Same desired outcome," you sneered at them.
"I think that would really help incentivize me," Chris eagerly nodded at you. "Can we both just rub one out real quick and start right after that?" Matt asked, biting his lip. "No, Matt. November has already started," you smirked at him.
"Okay, so the winner of No Nut November gets to use me however they want, and the loser has to watch. But I have a few rules of my own I'd like to instill. You guys both have to make it at least two weeks. If the loser caves on week one, the bet's off, and no one gets to use me. Also, I get to tease you guys as much as I want," your lips curled into a malicious grin.
"That's not fair," Matt glared at you. "Sure it is, Matt. If I'm the reward, don't you think it's only fair that I get to put in place some rules of my own?" You raised an eyebrow at him and crossed your arms. "Okay, fine," Matt huffed, rolling his eyes. "You boys are really in for it. I've been extra horny lately," you said in a luscious voice, looking them both up and down.
"What if we both go the whole month without breaking any rules?" Chris asked. "Then you can both tag team me," you smirked, glancing between the two of them. They both eagerly nodded at the sound of that.
"And what if we both lose at the same time?" Matt asked curiously. "Then I get to use you two however I want, and I get to humiliate you while you finish," you responded, putting your hand over your mouth to hold back a chuckle.
"Oh, don't tell Matt that. He'll like that too much," Chris teased his brother. Matt punched him in the arm. "Ow!" Chris shot back, rubbing his arm. You were already planning all the different ways you were going to try to seduce them and make them slip up.
"I'm going to go run some errands. I'll be right back," you teasingly waved at them both before strutting out the door. "Whoops," you said, purposely dropping your keys so you'd have an excuse to bend down in front of them.
Unfortunately for them, you were wearing your favorite pair of jeans that hugged all your curves perfectly, and as you accentuated your movements while you bent at the waist to fetch them from off the floor, Chris and Matt's eyes immediately traveled to your bottom.
Then they both glanced at each other, exchanging a look. It dawned on them that they may be in over their heads. You waltzed out the front door on your way to buy a new lingerie set along with some other things to tease them with.
A few hours later, you came back in with a few shopping bags in hand. "What did you get?" Matt wondered, peeking into the bag. He caught a glimpse of white lace before you yanked them away from him. "You'll find out," you told him, tucking them out of sight and wondering off to go plan your strategy.
You had a few tricks up your sleeve, but you couldn't just whip out your craziest idea in the first week. Your tactic was to keep it playful at the beginning, just little touches that would linger a few seconds too long and subtle comments here and there to fluster them.
Over time, you'd slowly work your way towards the more overt seduction after they'd let their guards down.
àȘââŽáĄŁđ© Day Two
Throughout the day, you kept finding reasons to lightly and sensually touch both boys. You'd playfully hit Chris in his well-toned bicep when he'd say anything funny, and afterward, you'd make some comment to puff up his ego.
"You been working out? Your muscles look so hot lately," you said to him in a sexy voice, your eyes dancing over his lips while you spoke to him as you squeezed his upper arm. "You're gonna have to try harder than that," Chris arrogantly stated, well-aware of what you were doing.
Later on, you went up to Matt after spritzing yourself with a new perfume you'd gotten recently. "Hey, Matt. I want to get your opinion on this fragrance," you innocently told him, holding a lot of eye contact.
You tilted your head up, and he leaned down to smell where you had sprayed it just above your collarbone. Notes of jasmine and lavender filled his senses.
"Mmm. It smells nice," he commented. "No, you're not close enough," you responded, running your fingers through his hair and reeling him in nearer to you until his nose was resting against your neck.
"What do you think? If we were on a date and I wore this scent, would you take me back to your place and fuck my brains out?" You seductively asked him, gently massaging his scalp with your fingertips.
"Shit," Matt muttered, blood started rushing to the tip of his cock as he pulled away from you. "Nice try," he said, leaving the room.
àȘââŽáĄŁđ© Day Five
You decided to ramp it up just a little bit. Throughout the day, you kept purposely dropping things so you could bend over and show off the little thong you wore under your miniskirt.
They couldn't help but fall for it every time, even though they knew you were doing it for the sole purpose of riling them up. You loved witnessing the desperation slowly creep into their expressions while you taunted them. You held a lot of eye contact while talking to them, purposely staring at their lips a lot and licking your own while you watched them become nervous.
That night, Chris was in his room, sitting shirtless in his gaming chair and playing a video game when you came into the room and started rubbing his shoulders for him. "Mmm. You're so tense," you stated, working through a knot on his shoulder blade. "Gee, I wonder why," Chris chuckled.
He let out a soft, satisfied groan as you massaged his back for him, making sure to whisper praises in his ear. "I bet you're so sore because you've been hitting the gym so much, huh? It really shows. Your back looks so toned right now," You cooed.
"What else am I going to do with myself?" He smirked, knowing he'd been working out every day since November started to fend off his sex drive. "I bet since you exercise a lot, you have good stamina, don't you? Bet you could fuck for a long time," you whispered in his ear. He responded with a loud scoff.
"I bet you're the kind of guy who likes to get off multiple times a day, don't you? So this must be extra hard for you. You're so disciplined for not caving yet. I could never do what you're doing. I swear, I'm horny all the time," you told him.
"I am disciplined," he reiterated. "So disciplined in fact that this doing nothing for me." But it was a lie. His dick was starting to perk up at your words and your tone of voice. "Mhmm," you said, unconvinced as you left the room to go tease Matt.
He was downstairs making brownies in the kitchen when you found him. "Have you been a good boy? Keeping your hands out of your pants, hmm?" You gave him a sly smile. He immediately met you with a needy look. Matt was a little more transparent than Chris, not quite as good at hiding how turned on he was.
"I've been good. Still going strong," He nodded at you while he stirred the brownie batter. "So well-behaved. Good boy," you said, your tone saturated with lust. Matt started to get a little hard at how you were speaking to him, but he tried to take his mind off you with chocolate.
"You should try this. It's really good," Matt said, dipping his finger into the brownie batter, but before he could get another taste, you gently grabbed onto his hand, and as he looked over to make eye contact with you, you were slipping his digit between your parted lips and sucking off the chocolate.
"Mmmm," you hummed with your mouth wrapped around his finger, subtly moving your head back and forth. His dick twitched in his sweatpants and he let out a soft whimper as you excited all the nerve endings on the tip of his finger.
"Maybe you're not such a good boy after all. I think you liked that a little too much," you taunted him, releasing his hand from your grip. It took everything in Matt not to run upstairs and go jerk off to the thought of your mouth on another one of his extremities. Instead, he went back to making brownies.
"You can't have any more until they're ready," he glared at you, trying to will away his erection.
àȘââŽáĄŁđ© Day Six
It was nearing the end of the first week, and you approached Chris early one morning as he was sitting at the kitchen table, eating a bowl of cereal and flipping through his phone. "It's almost the end of week one. How do you feel?" You asked, coming up behind him.
You seductively ran your fingers along his chest, whispering into his ear and making sure your hot breath hit the side of his neck while you did. "I feel great. I haven't had any urges at all," Chris lied through his teeth, trying to ignore the way you were touching him.
"Oh really, hmm? Maybe I'm not teasing you enough," you chuckled into his ear, gently nibbling on his earlobe. He let out a soft moan and his cock immediately grew hard. "Not even a single urge, huh?" You provoked him, staring down at the tent in his pants while you started to kiss his neck.
"Fuck, you're making this so difficult," Chris got up and stormed off, leaving his cereal unfinished. "Better not be going to touch yourself!" You called after him.
"I'm not. I'm going to the gym to burn off some of this energy," Chris huffed, heading to his room to change into basketball shorts. You smirked at his arrogance he'd displayed a few minutes earlier before nearly folding under your touch.
Around this time, Matt came downstairs in his Pokémon pajamas and started rifling through the fridge for something to eat.
"Hey, handsome boy. How did you sleep?" You asked, gently caressing his arm and asking in a sultry voice. "Really good," he said, avoiding eye contact and trying to hide the fact that he had morning wood.
"I slept well, too. Except I had this dream that I can't stop thinking about," you seductively bit your lip. "What did you dream about?" Matt naively asked. "Well, I'm a little embarrassed to say, but it was a wet dream. About you," your eyes flicked up to meet his. "Really?" He asked, falling right into your trap.
"Yeah, you were making me scream your name because of how big your cock was and how hard you were fucking me," you teased him, painting a picture in his head. "Fuck. Please don't tell me anymore," Matt replied, still peering into the fridge.
"You mean, you don't wanna hear about how I played with myself after I woke up from it?" You simpered at him. Matt let out a loud sigh and pulled out a carton of eggs and some bacon while he ignored your temptress ways.
"You don't wanna hear about how I rubbed my clit in circles and filled my pretty, pink hole with my favorite dildo while I thought about you and moaned your name?" You snickered. "This is so unfair," Matt replied, covering his ears and looking at you with his desperate expression and his puppy dog eyes, his dick aching in his pants.
"If you think I'm being unfair now, you just wait," you responded before skipping off to go plan your next move.
àȘââŽáĄŁđ© Day Nine
A few days later, Chris came out into the living room to find you sprawled out on your yoga mat in a tank top and spandex shorts. "Oh, thank god you're here. Mind helping me with something really quick?" You innocently asked him, batting your eyelashes in his direction.
"Depends. What do you need?" Chris skeptically asked, narrowing his gaze. "Will you come over here and help stretch me out?" You requested, smirking at him as he grew flustered at your word choice. "Fuck this. You're on your own," Chris said, immediately walking the other direction.
"Chris! Wait!" You called after him. He stopped, let out a loud sigh, and slowly turned around. "What?" He asked impatiently. "Chris. I'm not trying to pull anything. I just really need your help. Please. My muscles are so sore," you begged, pouting at him.
After a few seconds of deliberating, he rolled his eyes and started heading back over towards you. "Fine. What do you need me to do?" Chris asked, kneeling down on the floor next to you and immediately regretting it when you spread open your legs.
"I need you to push my thighs apart," you told him, trying to conceal your condescending grin. "Are you fucking kidding me?" Chris snarked at you. "No, I'm not kidding. I'm really sore. Just put your hands on the insides of my thighs and push down," you directed him.
He did as you said, trying to ignore the damp spot on the front of your shorts. "Oh, Chris. You stretch me out so good," you maliciously moaned. He clenched his jaw as he glanced into your eyes. "I haven't cum in nine days," Chris responded.
If looks could kill, the look Chris was giving you right now was damn near fatal. "Nine days? Only twenty-one more to go!" You sneered, reminding him he wasn't even a third of the way there yet. "You fucking bitch," Chris dug his fingertips into the fleshy part of your inner thighs and started pushing them apart until you let out a pained whimper.
"Oh, Chris. Don't stop. I love when you're mean to me. It turns me on so much," you responded in a sultry voice, flipping his power move back onto him. He let go of you and stormed out of the room to go play video games and take his mind off what was between your legs.
About ten minutes later, Matt came downstairs, his eyes immediately falling onto you in a compromising stretching position. "Oh, Matt. I'm so glad you're here. Think you could give me a hand or two real quick?" You cooed, motioning with your finger for him to come here. Matt nodded despite the fact that he knew you were up to no good.
"What do you need?" He asked, eager to please you in any way. "Will you give me a little massage? My muscles right here are very sore," you motioned towards the muscles on your inner thighs while you bit your lip, peering up at him. "O-okay," Matt stuttered, walking into the next trap you set.
He couldn't help notice how wet you were, but he tried his best to ignore it. He kneeled down between your legs and started massaging where you had asked. You let your eyes roll back in your head and let out a few satisfied sounds as he worked his thumbs on each one of your fleshy thighs.
"That's it, Matt. Just like that," you whined in a sexual manner, causing his dick to twitch in his pants. "Go up just a little further," you said, guiding his hands closer to your pussy. He nodded, doing as you asked. "Good boy," you moaned as he rubbed that spot over and over again. His eyes shot wide open.
"Can you move up just a little further?" You wondered, batting your lashes. "I-I can't," Matt shook his head, knowing if he moved up any further, he'd be right on your private parts. "Here," you said, grabbing his hand and placing his thumb directly on your clit.
"There you go. Now move it in circles. A little more pressure. Oh, just like that. Good boy," you cooed, looking seductively at him. Matt knew it was a dangerous game for him to be touching you there, but he couldn't stop.
He loved the words and sounds that were falling from your lips. He loved the way you were looking at him with desire in your eyes and pleasure written all over your face.
"Faster," you whispered, throwing your head back. Your shorts were soaking wet where Matt was massaging you with his thumb, and your legs started to shake while your cries of delight became louder. Chris came downstairs to see what all the commotion was.
You started seeing stars as your orgasm crashed over you. You moaned Matt's name over and over as he rubbed your clit in tight, fast circles, completely mesmerized by you finishing for him. Your whole body trembled until your climax subsided while Chris watched from the bottom of the stairs.
"Holy shit, Matt. I think you just lost No Nut November. Fucking pussy," Chris smirked. "What? I did not! I didn't break any of the rules!" Matt exclaimed defensively. "He's right, Chris. He didn't break any rules. He did, however, make it way harder on himself to follow the rules," you devilishly grinned, peering down at Matt's neglected cock that strained at the fabric of his pants, begging to be stroked.
"Now you gotta deal with having that boner until it goes away on its own," you chuckled at him, closing your legs and getting up. You rolled up your yoga mat, bending down in front of them both, and they each angrily groaned at you and stomped out of the room.
You were plotting your moves for the next few days. Meanwhile, Chris had a plan of his own. Upon learning that he was allowed to touch you however he pleased as long as he wasn't sticking his dick in you, he decided he was going to make you sweat a little the same way you were doing to him and Matt.
àȘââŽáĄŁđ© Day Twelve
The next night, in an attempt to turn on the boys, you tried on your new lingerie you'd bought at the beginning of the bet. You stood in front of the mirror in the bathroom dressed in a white lace bra and matching panties, knowing it was going to drive Matt and Chris crazy.
You wandered off to the living room where Matt was sitting on the couch, flipping through movies on Netflix and trying to find something to watch. "Hi, Matt," you cooed, leaning up against the wall. "Hey," Matt responded, his eyes flickering over at you and back at the television, and then back over at you when he realized what you were wearing.
"Wow," he whispered, studying the way you looked in white. "I have to show you something," you said, wandering over to him and straddling him on the couch. "What are you doing?" He asked, accusingly.
"Look," you said, pulling down your bra to reveal your breasts to him. "I got them pierced about six months ago, and they were finally healed enough for me to change out the metal," you couldn't contain your smug smile as you flashed Matt.
"Wow," he whispered again, reaching up to grab both your breasts, and he ran his thumbs over the heart-shaped rings. You shuddered at his touch. "They're so much more sensitive now," you whimpered. "Did it hurt when you got them pierced?" Matt asked, looking up at you. "A little, but I liked it," you snickered and bit your lip.
Without thinking, Matt leaned forward and took your right nipple into his mouth, delicately swirling his tongue around and gently suckling on it before moving to the left. You let out a few soft whines while he pleased you. You started to rock your hips back and forth, grinding up against Matt's rock hard cock.
"Okay, that's enough. You're being totally unfair right now," Matt said, lifting you off of him and shoving you to the other end of the couch.
"Hey, what's the matter, Matt?" You asked, crawling back over towards him. He jumped to a standing position. "I have to get out of here. You're too good at this," Matt grabbed his keys off the coffee table and headed out the door, fleeing from temptation. You smiled to yourself, getting so close to making him cave for you.
You picked up the remote and started searching through the various streaming services, waiting for Chris to come home so you could tease him next. Chris came bursting through the door, mad as hell. There was something about his demeanor that was off and slightly unsettling.
"Are you okay, Chris?" You asked him while sitting on the couch in your lingerie. "It's been twelve days since I've had an orgasm. I'm full of testosterone and cum, and I've had a shitty day, and I can't even to go to my room and beat my meat about it. I need to take all this aggression out on someone," Chris responded, his eyes sparkling and his lips curling into a smile as his eyes landed on you.
He walked over towards you, fell to his knees in front of you, and forced your legs apart. "You're such a fucking tease, skipping around in my house in your fucking lingerie. I hope these weren't expensive," Chris growled, ripping a hole in your lace panties.
You gasped and your eyes widened as you watched while Chris' lips latched onto your clit. He started moving his tongue in fast, jagged movements, making animalistic sounds while he ate you. "Chris, it's so sensitive," you squirmed around beneath him. "I don't mind," he smirked at you as he went back to assaulting your pussy with his mouth, sucking on your clit and licking it at the speed of light.
"Oh, Chris!" You called out, tugging on his hair, but he didn't let up. "If you want me to stop, just say that," he said, his lips vibrating against you. You didn't want to tell him to stop because you knew he would altogether. Malicious compliance was always one of Chris' favorite pastimes. "Don't stop, keep going," you whimpered, closing your thighs down around his ears.
You pulled down your bra again, gently tweaking your nipples while you looked down at Chris. His eyes flicked up at you. "Oh, my god. I didn't know you had your tits pierced. That's so fucking hot," he whispered, reaching up and grabbing a handful in each palm while he went back to eating your pussy like he was enjoying his last meal.
He squeezed your breasts and started pinching your nipples and rolling them between the pads of his fingers. You threw your head back and let out a satisfied moan as you began to shiver. "Yeah? You think you get to cum after all the shit you've been pulling?" Chris said, withdrawing all attention right before you finished.
"Nice try, fucking slut," Chris responded, spitting on your pussy and getting up to walk right back out the door. "Chris, please!" You called after him, nearly on the verge of tears from being teased like that. Chris slammed the door shut behind him with a shit-eating grin on his face.
"Well played, Chris," you whispered from the couch, staring down at the torn fabric that barely covered your bottom half while you decided to take matters into your own hands. You reached down to soothe the aching feeling Chris stuck you with after leaving you high and dry.
You rubbed your clit in fast circles with one hand and pinched your nipple with the other as you finished, remembering the way Chris' mouth felt on you. Just as you were trembling and reaching your much-needed climax, Matt walked back in through the door after finishing up his late night drive, his eyes immediately landing on the way your fingers were manipulating your clit.
"Oh my god. You're relentless!" Matt exclaimed before running up the stairs to take his mind off the scene that had just unfolded in front of him. You breathlessly chuckled about being caught. You hadn't meant for Matt to walk in on you and be tempted by you even further, but you weren't mad that it had played out that way.
àȘââŽáĄŁđ© Day Fourteen
You decided to kick it up a notch in the teasing department. By now, both Matt and Chris were very skeptical of you any time you wanted to show them anything or ask for help with something, so you had to get more creative with it.
You started taking naked pictures of yourself in the bathroom mirror after your shower, saving the good photos. After walking out into the hallway in just a towel, you opened up the group chat and sent in the best nude photo you'd taken, following it up with an "Oops! Didn't mean to send that! ;)" But they both knew better than to trust that it was a simple mistake.
When Chris opened your message, he let out a loud, annoyed grunt that resounded throughout the house. A few seconds later, you heard Matt's voice from down the hall, "You're evil!" You decided to strut around in your towel for the rest of the night, randomly dropping it while you were around the boys.
They used what willpower they could muster to keep their eyes off you as you relentlessly teased them with your body. While it was the closest they'd each gotten to saying fuck it about the whole No Nut November challenge, no one caved that night...
INTERACTIVE CHOOSE-YOUR-OWN ENDING AHEAD:
àȘââŽáĄŁđ© if you choose to have Matt and Chris both fail the challenge and become your submissive little fuck toys, click here đ€
àȘââŽáĄŁđ© if you choose to have Matt and Chris win the challenge and turn you into their submissive little fuck toy, click here đ€
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Could you right a story where jinxâs S/O is scared of bombs or loud things in general and one of jinx bombs went off scaring S/O and jinx comforts them.
So I forgot that the inbox was a thing and found this two years after you asked for it. Sorry lmao.
I think I completely failed this cause I chose season 1 Jinx and hooboy Season 2 Jinx would've been a better choice.
Also this went over 2k words I realize I may be a yapper.
The Monsters We Allow
2k words (Jesus this wasn't supposed to be this long)
Proofread? Y/N
TW: Descriptions of injuries
You're no stranger to the hazards of working for the Eye of Zaun. Even the more hardened residents of the Undercity oftentimes couldn't stomach some of the work the job entailed, more so the people involved in those jobs.
So now here you were, helping build an explosive device of some sort. Fishbones Jinx had called it. You guess that you should add assistant weapons maker to the long list of jobs you've held working for Silco over the years. It wasn't always like this, though.
You started out as cleanup crew, showing up after fights. You didn't want to at first, but if you crossed Silco, you'd most definitely cross his daughter, Jinx. If you crossed his daughter, then it was almost a certainty that you would end up in pieces and puddles on the walls and floors. You'd rather be the one cleaning than be the one being cleaned up. So you put your head down and went along with it.
It was messy work, but it turns out even with all the fucked up things tolerated in the Undercity, rotting body parts weren't one of them. It wasn't pretty, and your first few days you had to include your vomit in the list of things you had to clean up. Eventually, though, you got over it, got better. Well enough that Silco would only trust you to do cleanups of whichever unfortunate soul was on the receiving end of Jinx's chompers. You could figure out which weapon was used to do what, what the direction of the splatter on the wall or floor meant. You could look at a scene once and replay how the entire fight went.
The job wasn't pretty, not at all, but it put money in your pockets, good money. It put food on your table and clothes on your back. Most importantly, it gave you security. A blanket of protection that ensured people would think twice to cross you. Silco only kept a select few on constant contract. Sure, you didn't run around beating the shit out of people during collections, or blowing them up. You didn't have a robot arm or guns-choice of weapon was bucket and shovel-- but hey, you were deeper in his inner circle than most people.
Eventually, he started bringing you along to meetings. After those meetings, he'd ask you, What's the quickest, and cleanest way we can get rid of this person?
It was jarring at first, being asked how to kill someone. But whatever reservations you had about becoming a murder consultant was heavily outweighed by your fear of being the one consulted about. So you'd answer diligently, if a little hesitantly. The first time you answered, he had looked pleasantly surprised. As if getting recommendations on assassination was pleasant. You remembered thinking.
It didn't take long for people of the Undercity to associate your presence in these tag-alongs with the sudden death of whoever you and Silco were visiting. Whispers about how you wouldn't even talk during the meetings, how you'd sit and simply look around. If you were addressed by the person you were meeting with, Silco would politely redirect their attention back to him. Sometimes, sometimes, that person wouldn't die. Silco once credited it to you, that people suddenly became more pliable once he brought you along. Another blanket of security. People started treating you differently, more respect, fear maybe. It was a little funny, how typically aggressive brutes would become the politest people towards someone who had just barely reached the age of eighteen.
One day, Silco had asked you to his office. You thought it would just be regular stop before another meeting, standard procedure by then, really. But that day he had another guest in his office. The blue braids were already a dead giveaway, but you still politely introduced yourself. She laughed, and identified you as The one who ruins my fun because she had to follow your instructions when Silco needed her to get rid of people.
You knew back then that she was dangerous. Quite frankly, she scared the shit out of you. You didn't have a problem with seeing dead bodies and parts, sure. But she was younger than you, and already had no qualms about taking lives. She was the one leaving behind entrails that you had to clean up. And apparently, she was now to be occasionally under your watch. Silco thought you'd be a good fit for a companion. Around the same age, he had said.
You kept a respectful distance from her, but she unfortunately grew fond of you and decided to keep you around more often than not. Silco didn't see anything wrong with it, if anything it made the both of you more notorious. His Loose Cannon and his Harbinger of Death. A deadly combination in theory, but in practice, it was mostly you having to accompany Jinx for her less dangerous - there were still casualties - pranks, and bailing her out of sticky situations.
And now here you were, two years later, making a launcher with her- making was a generous word, more handing her stuff - and getting ready to probably blow more people up.
You feel your stomach begin to unsettle again. You were used to seeing dead bodies, parts of bodies, what was left of bodies. But never in the stretch of time that you had worked for Silco, had you ever had to see dying. You always showed up after. It had only been two days since the explosion at the bridge, but somehow Jinx was walking around as if nothing had even happened to her. As if she didn't blow herself up the last time you had seen her. If you were making an educated guess based off of her eyes, you'd say she was hurt and got pumped full of shimmer; or maybe she was just living off of pure mania at this point.
You've cared for her, but now you also care about her. It seems that no matter how much respectful distance you put between yourself and her, propinquity eventually came into play, and affection followed. And the only sense you had was to go along with it.
It took you a while to get used to being around her. She was temperamental, to say the least. But you eventually learned not to ask any questions about her family, not to bring up the dolls she kept at her place, and avoid asking any questions at all about her past. If she wanted to, she'd tell you. The only time she wasn't unpredictable was when she was tinkering away at her little station, blasting her music.
She was calm, placated, almost normal. If you had never met her before and had seen her then, you would have thought she was beautiful. Not that she isn't, it's just that her reputation tended to precede all her other perceivable qualities. More than all of this, she was vulnerable. Her back turned to you, not a care in the world if you wandered around touching things. You realize now that it was in those moments probably that your affection for the girl grew. All of a sudden, getting her out of unideal predicaments included treating her wounds; then nursing her back to health if she was sick; staying over when she had nightmares. And yet you were still cautious, careful not to trip on some invisible wire that would trigger her temper.
"Whoops-"
A bang, a clattering of tools, and you're back at the bridge. Back at looking at screaming people, crawling on the ground because their legs had been blown clean off, some with limbs partially attached, some falling off, someone trying to feel where half of their face had gone. All moving, breathing, alive.
"Easy there, jelly legs." You look up to meet Jinx's eyes. Once a soft powder blue, now striking orbs of red violet. She's holding onto you. At some point you had lost your balance and was now kneeling on the floor, one hand on the side of Jinx's desk for support. "You sick or somethin'?" She asks.
"Sorry," You breathe out. "I think⊠I think I'm still reeling from what happened at the bridge."
She lets out a laugh. Loud, boisterous, manic.
"The bridge? The little ol' light show? You didn't like it?" Her smile falls, and she cocks her head to the side. Fuck.
Now you're on thin ice. "No, no. It was nice." You quickly say, shaking your head. "It's just, I'm not- I'm not used to seeing the before part, you know?"
She guffaws. "Wait, wait, wait." She stands, walking over to her desk littered with metal scraps and remnants of her previous projects, picking up one of the butterfly robots she had made. "You're telling me-" She plucks off a wing, the remaining one flapping aimlessly. "You" Points it at you. "Who's in charge of cleaning up exploded bodies, and telling Silco - who tells me - how to kill someone without a mess," Plucks off the other wing and throws the body away. "Gets queasy over a few blue bellies kicking the bucket?"
You take a breath to steady yourself. "I don't know. I never- I never thought about that part. I've never had to see it."Â You unconsciously start clenching and unclenching you hand not holding onto the desk. A nervous habit, one that you tried to shake off. A habit that Jinx had taken note of the first few months of her dragging you along with her escapades.
"I'm sorry." You say after a few beats of silence.
In one quick flash - too quick, inhumanly quick - Jinx is kneeling again in front of you, cupping your face in her hands. "Hey now, it's alright." Her tone is soft, caring, tragically comforting to you. "We all got our little quirks. I sure do."
She frees up one of her hands to brush your hair back. "Come to think of it, I think that was the first time you had to see something like that, huh?"
It always astounds you how quickly she can disarm the guard you put up for her. You know she's dangerous, you know you should be cautious. But a few sweet words from her and you're putty in her hands, completely at her mercy. You wonder if it's normal to love and fear someone at the same time.
"We'll be okay." She presses her forehead against yours. "I've got you, like you've got me." You nod.
"You can handle helping me with one more thing, right?" There it is. "We just need to do this one teeny thing, and then we can chill out."
You put in active effort to keep your breathing steady. Your stomach still in knots. "What thing?"
She grins. "A dinner party. You're my co-host." She pulls you up with her as she stands, leading you over to where she was working, where Fishbones was seemingly complete. "Wanna see something cool?"
You nod, and she fishes out the HexTech gemstone she had stolen during Progress Day. She opens up a slot near the handle and inserts the gemstone, Fishbones immediately lighting up, a blue hue illuminating her dark room. You contemplate asking her about her new weapon, weighing out the pros and cons. But the fact that her hand was still holding yours, her thumb idly grazing your knuckles was enough to encourage you.
"What are you gonna do with this?"
She runs her free hand above the clear panel where the gemstone is. "We're gonna go make a point."
The rational part of your brain is telling you to stay behind, that whatever this was, being in the vicinity of a HexTech-powered weapon was not a good idea. But this was Jinx, and she had already decided that you were coming with her. Incurring her wrath now, also in the vicinity of the HexTech-powered weapon, was not a good idea either.
So you do what you do best, and go along with it.
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How the Mane Six would react if you told them you're a system!
1. Fluttershy
"I'm sorry I don't know what this is can you explain it to me? [after explaining] oh okay! I'll be sure to make sure I'll be kind to whichever one of you I meet!"
Always makes sure she's not offending you in any way, doesn't want to get anything wrong.
Wants to ask more questions because she's curious but feels it might be too invasive so just keeps her questions to herself and asks Twilight Sparkle later on.
Super kind to nonhuman and little alters and acts as a caretaker.
2. Rainbow Dash
"Oh no way! You really have all that stuff happen in your head? Can I talk to them too?"
Doesn't really understand much about systems but is very interested whenever you talk about it.
Whenever any of your alters talk to her she gets so incredibly excited about it and talks to them eagerly.
Sometimes gets things wrong on purpose just so you can correct her and explain more about being a system.
3. Pinkie Pie
"WAIT OH MY GOD DID YOU ENTER THE MIRROR POOL TOO? DID YOU GUYS DESTROY THE TOWN???"
Is convinced that she has the same experience as you and she knows what it's like to be a system. (Maybe she does?)
Doesn't really understand but her heart is in the right place.
She's encouraged your alters to go into the mirror pool to get separate bodies on several occasions.
Screams at anyone who is mean to you and is very protective over you.
4. Applejack
"Sugar I really don't understand what you're talking about, but I'll help in any way I can"
Makes you feel extremely comfortable even though she doesn't completely understand.
Never judges any alters that you split and treats them all as equals and how she treats you.
Stands by your side whenever other people are making you uncomfortable, ready to defend you as soon as you want her too.
5. Twilight Sparkle
"Oh Dissociative Identity Disorder! I've read about this in one of my books! Let me know what I can do to help!"
Has asked you to take part in several experiments so that she can write her on paper on DID.
Whenever you vent about being a system to her you notice she's got a notebook and she's furiously scribbling down notes.
You always feel so reassured while around Twilight she genuinely cares about your system a lot.
6. Rarity
"So my dear, each of you have different personalities? So I can make a different outfit for each alter?"
Made different dresses and outfits for each of your alters that encompassed their personalities and made them feel comfortable.
Doesn't ever pry about system stuff and just treats all your alters as individuals.
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!!!! LET ME KNOW IF YOU WANT MORE PONY PERSPECTIVES!!!!!
[IMAGE ID: ponyville is a (pro) endo free zone break dni and get blocked loser! END ID]
#my little pony#did system#did#endos dni#did osdd#actually did#system#actually plural#osdd system#osdd#syspunk#systempunk#pluralpunk#cdd#cdd system#cdd community#polyfrag
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We Could Leave The Christmas Lights Up Til January - S.R x reader
I am typing this authors note and feeling like the friend who's like "ITS CHRISTMAS" from the like. middle of the month forward when I'm actually the friend who reminds you how close it is to christmas or the new year bc I don't want to face that knowledge by myself and suffer well with others.
This was written as a through-the-years style fic. It'll have fifteen chapters which will correspond with the og fifteen seasons of criminal minds (I have not watched seasons sixteen or seventeen, please do not judge me lol) and three scenes per chapter, one set in November, one set on or around Christmas, and the last set at some point after it. The reader is also a fiber artist but if stuff relating to that comes up, I will make a note of whichever terms I need to.
Fic type - this is largely fluff!
Warnings - the reader in this has a slightly similar, but also somewhat dramatized version of my family dynamics bc I wrote this whenever the knit projects I was working on frustrated me and when writing the dynamics it just HAPPENED, but then I edited it so that the dynamics wouldn't hit SUPER HARD if I ever reread it. Otherwise, booze is mentioned a bit, and there is swearing present bc I apparently am incapable of writing a fic without dropping an f'bomb.
When you leave the office that night, it's half-past seven on a Friday in November. You and the rest of the team have the weekend off, and while Penelope and the others had gone out for drinks, you'd gotten back from a case in Miami that morning and had said no to the offer when she'd made it.
You had really just wanted to get home, if you were being honest. You told her you couldn't swing it because of plans already made with someone else, but Garcia didn't need to know that those plans were a glass of wine, Loops 'N Threads Classic Cotton and a crochet hook to work up some dishcloths in lieu of anything too expensive for your aunts christmas gift, or that the someone else you had plans with was your DVR so that you could catch up on the five episodes of Prison Break you'd missed because of the way that cases and work had been piling up.
She also didn't need to know that the wine your mother had given you would have a spot, or that after you were caught up with Prison Break you'd probably order and eat your way through an entire pizza from Antonios while watching a documentary about lemon sharks. Your Friday nights were your own, and even though you adored everyone on the team, you would seldom give up your Friday night ritual of doing a craft while watching whichever cable TV you needed to catch up on or whichever one the network of your choice had been running a marathon of, even if giving it up meant giving up dinner, drinks, and laughter amongst yourself and the rest of the team.
So, as you and Spencer are heading outâSpencer had declined Penelopes offer but hadn't specified his reasons as to whyâhe looks at you with a knowing sort of smile.
"Crocheting and Antonios?" he asks, quirking an eyebrow.
You nod once, lips pursing just a little while you mentally ready yourself for any oncoming judgement. "Mhm," you nod. "I have a bottle of red I wanna drink, so it'll be a tipsy crocheting night, I think."
"That sounds fun," he says. "Enjoy it."
"What're your plans for the night?" You ask. You've been with the team since six months after Spencer had joined up. You'd joined, under Hotch's wing, at the age of nineteen where Spencer had joined up under Gideons when he was twenty.
He shrugs. "I was thinking about calling my mom, seeing how she's doing," he says. "I try to call her at least once every so often and I do my best to write, butâit's justâ"
"Maintaining those kinds of relationships isn't that easy," you nod. "I meanâmy parents just live in my hometown so the circumstances are different, but I get it, even if it's to a lesser degree."
You don't really talk to your parents, and they don't really talk to you, and it's been that way since you went to the FBI Academy when you were eighteen. You came to DC after being hired by the BAU and they stayed in Maine, and things have been like that in the five years since you left the state.
"Your mom came around recently, right?"
You nod. "She was in town for a bit, but she came down while we were working on a case so I only got to see her a few times before she was heading back to Maine." She'd come up at the start of October, while you were working a case out of state, and she'd left six days after you'd returned from the case. In that time, you'd seen her at breakfast, lunch and dinner on three separate days. She'd left you the wine as a gift because she hated red and needed to pass it off, but you loved red wine so it was fine.
"Was it a good visit?"
"It wasâwellâit was fine," you laugh.
"That's the nicest way to put it?"
"Calling it fine is me being stellar," you laugh again. "Being kind, being gratiuitous, even. It was less than fine, but it could've been worse, and other visits of hers have been by miles."
Your relationship with your mother has been somewhat contentious since you were a teen, but she comes down once every few months and unless a case or something better comes up, you usually try to book Christmas off to spend it with your parents and sisters in Maine. This year, a bigger part of you than not is hoping that Christmas is disrupted by a case somewhere completely out of Maines reach, like Nevada or California or even the likes of Alaska, which has got to be some snowy hellstorm in the wintertime, though you can't say.
"You gonna go down for Christmas?" Spencer asks, laughing a little. He knows some of what your relationships with your family are likeâknows that you and your mother have a difficult time finding common ground, knows that you and your father don't get along but have found some weird little middleground where you can exist without screaming at each other. He knows that you and your older sister are sort of friendly but only really mildly close, and that you and your other older sister don't talk often and see each other even less than the sparing conversations you have throughout the yearâand he always looks at you kind of pitifully when your mother gets brought into the conversation, but there's been less and less pity as the years have passed, more sympathy.
"I don't want to," you laugh. "I really, really hope we get a case in Nevada or somewhere that even my mother wouldn't be able to justify asking me to drive down to Maine from. LikeâI'd love it if we got a case in Alaska the day before Christmas Eve, honestly. I know it's not gonna happen, butâChristmas with them, my aunt, and my uncle? No. I can't subject myself to that without a whole lot of booze."
Spencer laughs, shakes his head a little bit. "You'll be fine," he says. "I won't hope that a case comes up at Christmas, but if one does, I'll buy you a victory tea."
"Why?"
"Because I know you love your familyâyou're hardwired to love themâbut you hate Christmas with them, and I don't really like the thought of you being where you don't want to be because of family ties and guilt."
You laugh. "If it gets too dreary, promise you'll answer my call?"
"Yeah," Spencer nods. "Of course, but what if I call you first?"
"I will answer so quick," you laugh again, shrugging. "Seriously. Whether it's you or Hotch, I will take literally any excuse I can get to slip out from whichever room I'm in to the back porch just so I can talk to someone who isn't my aunt for a few minutes."
"Looking forward to that," Spencer says.
You smile, turning away as you do to hide it. It feels like an awesome ending to a mediocre day and you're grateful for that.
-
When your phone rings at five o'clock something along the lines of five weeks later, it's Christmas Eve. You've spent the last couple of hours alternating between cheap screw top rose and a jack and coke, occasionally swapping both options out for a hot chocolate that you spike with kahlua and a splash of baileys, and when your phone rings, the sound of it is a welcome reprieve.
You tuck a mug of boozed up hot cocoa into your right hand, answering the phone with your left as you dismiss yourself out to the back porch, standing amidst snow that's, by that point, a couple days old. A fresh coat is due to fall any day now, but by the time it does you'll probably already be back in DC.
"Hey," you greet. "How's Christmas on your end?"
"It's good," Spencer answers. "How is it on yours?"
"It's amazing."
"You've been drinking?"
"Jack Daniels, cheap rose, and the occasional spiked hot chocolate," you laugh a little. "It's making everyone more tolerable."
"Thats good," Spencer says. "Don't forget to drink water, though. It'll make you less hungover tomorrow morning."
"Yeah," you nod. "I've drank plenty of waterâhangover headaches are fuckin' awful, and I don't feel like dealing with that tomorrow morning. A headache on top of dealing with my aunt? I couldn't put myself through that kind of torture."
"How've things been with you and your mom?"
"So far I haven't done anything to piss her off yet, which is surprising," you laugh. "Normally she's leaping down my throat the second I do something like use a tone that she thinks is amiss or defend my dad where she doesn't agree with him. I'll say something stupid and she'll yell at me before midnight though, I'm sure."
"Try to be a little optimistic," Spencer says. "I meanâjustâtake it easy. Don't do anything too nuts, okay? I know you well enough to know you have Prison Break on one of the DVRs in that house, and I also know that you know your own limits. Don't push yourself past them."
"I won't," you say. You know yourself well enough to know that you're probably lying, but you brought your needles and a skein of yarn so worst case you can just knit and keep your mouth shut, hopefully not miscounting any of your stitches in your drunken state. "I'll call you tomorrow, okay? I get in around ten on boxing day too, soâcoffee?"
"Coffee," Spencer says. "Merry Christmas, Y/N."
"Merry Christmas, Spencer," you respond, hanging up the phone thereafter. You stay outside for another few minutes, drinking your hot chocolate, watching the sky and prolonging the time between then and your next interactions with your relatives.
Eventually, when you go back in, you're met with a sly look from your aunt and a suspicious look in your mothers eyes, while your father and uncle chat about current events and your sisters are busy in a game of Uno.
"You got a boyfriend?" Your aunt asks, her smile cheeky.
You grimace. "No!" You say, beelining for the kitchen and the bottle of Barefoot brand zinfandel. "Noâit'sâit isn't like that. A friend had planned to call and I didn't say no."
"Oooh, a friend," your mother teases. "That's quite vague, Y/N."
You nod, finishing the last sip of hot chocolate in your mug and rinsing it out, setting it in your favored corner of the kitchen counter and reaching for the wine glass you'd left in that same area.
"Intentionally so," you laugh. "You two are so nosy. I love you both to bits and pieces, butâit's not anything like what you're thinking. The friend is a coworker."
You reach for the bottle of zinfandel and pour an amount that just barely skirts the edge of avoiding being obscene, putting the cap back on and leaving it on the counter along with the rest of the alcoholic companions that will reside on the countertop until at some point tomorrow, when the drinks are switched out from booze and beer to soda and water.
"You two will be an item in five years, I guarantee it," your aunt says. "Seriously. You don't be vague about someone with your family unless there are feelings there, Y/N."
You laugh a little more, taking a sip of your wine and debating rummaging through the fridge to find the brownies that you'd hidden in the back of the fridge for when the drunken cravings kicked in.
"I've been vague with you people about women coworkers," you retort. "I've been vague about mentors who are older than Dad. I'm vague about lots of things."
"You should open up," your uncle says. "Nobody likes a closed off little snowflake who wants to appear mysterious."
"Trust is earned," the older of your two sisters retorts. "You have to trust people to want to open up to them."
"Do you not trust us?" Your mother asks, looking at you with pain in her eyes.
Not like I did when I was a kid, you think. "I do! I justâwork life and family life are two separate things to me. If I were as open as you guys want me to be, telling you work stories and funny office anecdotes, you'd all want to hear less about my job."
"Being an FBI agent can't be that hard," your uncle retorts.
"You say that as a man who's never watched someone you love like a sibling get shot at," you retort. "You've never seen someones body missing parts, or seen someone who narrowly evaded a serial killer shaking with grief and with survivors guilt already starting to manifest. I love you all, but not one of you understands what it's like, and I wouldn't wish you did across a thousand lifetimes."
Nobody knows what to say, but the look in your eldest sisters eyes is clearâshe's proud.
"Well maybe you should work in a different area," your aunt says.
"I wouldn't trade my job or my coworkers for anything," you respond. "The plus sides make up for the drawbacks tenfold."
Things go a little quiet after that, and you eventually grab the bottle of Zinfandel and retreat back out to the back porch, not caring how cold it is.
You stare at the sky for ages, drinking your way through the entire bottle of zinfandel as you do. You're half asleep when your phone rings again, and you pick it up as you make back inside, figuring the rest of your family had gone to bed as well.
"Hey," Spencer greets. "Just calling to check in again."
"Hi," you respond. "Everyone else has gone to sleep, I thinkânobody is in the kitchen or the living room, and if I don't hit the hay I'll be dead on my feet tomorrow morning."
"Do you have any sports drinks around?" Spencer asks. "The elctrolytes in them will help replenish the potassium and the salt that you lose after a lot of drinking. Bouillion soup also serves the same purpose, and water is basically universally known as the one thing you should consistently drink between alcoholic beverages."
"My mother gets a twelve pack of the fruit punch Gatorade, puts it in the fridge and normally will make the drunkest of us chug a bottle before we conk out, so I'm gonna grab one and then chug it and head to bed. Thank you for calling to check in, Spencer. It means a lot."
You head for the fridge and keep to your word, opening it and grabbing one of the gatorades.
"It's no problem," Spencer says. "I've know youâhow long now?"
"Four entire years," you laugh, closing the fridge and pressing your forehead against the metal door of the freezer on top of it. "Oh, God. Four years of working at the BAU. That is a surefire way to make me feel old."
"How old do you think you'll feel when you've been working there for a decade?"
"Absolutely, positively, ancient," you say. "Oh my Godâthirty three? That is not an age I can picture. Asking me to picture that while I'm drunk feels like such a low blow, Reid."
"How about twenty-eight?"
"I'm starting to think you just like the sound of my voice," you retort, laughing a little as you compose yourself just enough to turn your phone onto speaker and set it on the counter. You lean against the counter and take the screw top off of your gatorade, sighing a little. "Are you asking me if I have a five year plan, Dr. Reid?"
"Yeah," he says. "Yes is the answer to both your statement and your question."
"Well, in five years, I'll be twenty-eight," you start. "I'd like it very much if I were still on the team, and if I am, that means nine years at the BAU. I'm going to get better at knitting and finally stop knitting things for people who don't offer to buy the yarn or otherwise compensate, I think. I make things free for ungrateful people too often. Maybe even adopt a kitten or take in a shelter dog. FuckâReid, I can't really even decide what I'm going to do in the next five minutes, let alone the next five years."
You chug the gatorade as you think about itâa bigger apartment would be nice, one that's closer to work would be nicer still. One with a good view of the city, maybe a library or a liquor store within walking distance, if not a Michaels or a Joanns.
You've always been more of a cat person but you have a ridiculously insurmountable softspot for greyhounds and pitbulls, so if you thought you could take in an animal in the coming years, you would have the knowledge and the background to give them a good home.
You'd maybe want to change up your hair color, if the drunken opportunity presented itself. A change in appearance feels like the sort of thing a person finds necessary at the age of twenty four, in the last year before the brain fully develops and stuff starts changing bit by bit.
"I think I'll still be on the team," Spencer says. "I know it. I love what we get to do everyday, Y/N. Helping people? Saving lives? We do good. We're good people."
"What else do you think about the next five years?" You ask, your voice quiet.
"I think I'll still be living in my same apartment, and that I'll still bicker and get into prank wars with Morgan," Spencer says. "I think I'll still play chess against Gideon on the jet home, and I'll still love to learn anything I can. I know for sure I'm still going to be trying to get you to watch Dr. Who with me, though I hope you agree to watch it after five years of attempts at cajoling you to."
You laugh, and the air takes on a somber kind of tone. "Maybe," you say. "Not likely, but maybe, Reid. LookâI'm going to go to bed so that I can just deal with tomorrows probable hangover head on, but thank you for calling me not once, but twice tonight. I really needed some company that wasn't a little bit of an asshole."
"Yeah, of course," Spencer says. "Iâwellâmerry Christmas, Y/N."
"Goodnight, Spencer," is how you bid him adieu, hanging up the phone thereafter. You throw the gatorade bottle into the recycling and head off to the room you'd claimed, turning the tv onto a low volume and falling asleep with The Muppet Christmas Carol beginning to play in the background.
-
"How was everyones Christmas?" Garcia asks, practically buzzing with excitement as she comes out into the bullpen. Spencer is leaning against your desk, the two of you talking about nothing in particular when she comes around, and Garcia looks at you with a happy grin. "How was Maine?"
"It was Maine," you shrug. "Snowed. A lot. In turn, everyone in my family drank. A lot."
"Oh," Garcia shakes her head. "Too many people and too much booze is God awful."
You shrug. "My parents, my sisters, and my aunt and my uncle hardly felt like too many," you say. "And the amount of booze in which I indulged hardly felt like too much."
"You had a lot," Spencer retorts, looking at you skeptically. "I got a text Christmas morning, if memory servesâ"
"A text to thank you for being so nice," You fire back, cutting him off. "Totally not asking you for hangover cures. I would never."
Spencer shakes his head, laughing slightly. You grin, taking a sip of the tea he'd brought you that morning.
"Yeah," he says. "I didn't get a text asking for the ultimate hangover cure-all. I guess I must've remembered it wrong."
Your grin widens, and you nod. "Guess so. How were things with your Mom?"
"They were great," Spencer says. "I had a good time."
"I'm glad," you respond. "Your mother sounds pleasant."
"She is," Spencer nods. "I'd hate to spend more than an hour with yours though."
"She's comin' here in June," you fire back, leaning back in your chair as your grin morphs from grin to smirk. "Be careful for the next six months, Reid, or I'll invite you to dinner with her, myself, and my father."
"That sounds like some form of mideval torture," Derek fires, laughing. Spencer shakes his head.
"Not if Y/Ns there," he murmurs. You take another sip of your tea to avoid seeming flustered to the rest of the team, and Spencer sighs when JJ comes around. You sit up in your chair, already anticipating her next words.
"We have a case," she says. "A series of deaths in Witchita. Briefing room in ten!"
You and Spencer exchange a look. There are only a few days left of it, but it looks like the last of 2005 is due to be a whirlwind.
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disney is a coward so I know they'll never do this, but given what we learned was SUPPOSE to happen between alex and stevie, I would still love a post-eloping for the reboot.
like just imagine alex and stevie as the Cool Gay Aunts(tm) for justin's kids (+ billie). they show up for the holidays and totally shower the kids with magical gifts, including a baby dragon for the boys (which does end up setting fire to their parents bed sheets). milo shows off a magic trick to his friends, using alex (since billie's not allowed to) sneakily casting spells from the bushes so the card really does dissapear from his hand, leaving his friends cheering (stevie smiling but refusing to admit to alex how cute is it). stevie has a motorcycle (which alex thinks is super hot but also refuses to admit) and while the kids aren't old enough for a ride, she does let them sit on it and rev the handles nice and loud while justin panics from the porch. they team up with all three kids to pull pranks on justin and even sometimes get giana in on a few harmless ones. maybe alex even uses her role on the tribunal to get stevie's records cleared, and they both start to advocate for a more fair way of distributing magic between families.
and billie could have an extra adult at her side! I know justin is suppose to fill the pseudo-dad role, but while billie spends her time with the russo's, also gets to spend her summers or whatever with her two cool wizard aunts. they encourage her to keep up with her studies but for the most part they just chill, letting billie indulge in a few sweets (knowing how health-conscious justin has forced his family to be) and sometimes in a pg-13 movie together. when she's there however, the house does turn into a prank war; guests are to be extremely careful when entering and encouraged to bring a separate pair of clothes.
I dunno it would just be super cool; alex and stevie reunited and I think the kids would love her too - plus watching their aunt who's always acted so aloof get all smiley and whatnot and I'm just imagining a scenario with alex and the kids like:
billie: why does stevie call you babygirl
alex: hey who wants to play the quiet game!!
#wizards of waverly place#wowp#wizards beyond waverly place#disney channel#I would LOVE a reappearance of stevie though just imagine it#even though billie has been training something happens where the council finally decides to strip her of her powers like alex warned about#alex and justin try going to talk to the council on billie's behalf but have to leave her behind#and when billie's all alone you suddenly see stevie slink from the shadows with a 'hey kid..'#billie is nervous at first but stevie says she actually wants to help her and that it's not fair what's happening to her#and says if billie comes with her then she can keep her powers and in a moment of worry billie makes the split decision to go with her#I dunno how alex finds out maybe roman sees it happen too late and says some girl took billie#'what girl??' 'I dunno! she was a wizard too - she kept her wand in her boot!'#and IMMEDIATELY alex knows what happened#alex eventually finds stevie and there's this VERY tense moment when they see each other#stevie still mad at alex for 'betraying' her (even if stevie was kinda right but nvm) and who's she's aligned with now#'you workin' for the man now russo? gone soft?' 'at least I'm not straight-up stealing kids'#alex still feeling a bit guilty about what she did to stevie but mad at her for taking billie#there's an almost fight (verbal or magical whichever) but in some outside chaos they loose billie#now they're forced to team up to find her#and although it's cold at first they both warm up again to each other having missed their friendship (even if it was short lived)#stevie quietly admiring how much further alex has gotten with magic and how she's excelled#and alex still having a soft heart for stevie wanting to help the wizards who got abandoned#anyway they find billie but the council is alerted to what happened and is now on their way to them to capture stevie#a cornered alex pleads with stevie saying she can persuade the council to let her go and while stevie's heart skips at that#she knows it's no use and uses her magic to create a pocket dimension to escape or something#but not before kissing alex on the corner of her lips and saying 'till next time russo - give that stuck-up council some hell for me'#freezing alex who's seconds from pulling her back and then disappears#billie enters and unfreezes alex and watches her face slowly turns crestfallen as she realizes#'do you think we'll ever see her again?' 'your guess is as good as mine kid..' '..do you want to?' '....lets head back home.'#WHAT I WOULDN'T GIVE
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okay, hmm, I have a thing to ask again if that's alright. (please see the bottom of the post for a poll)
I made my carrd (as it currently exists) quite hastily, particularly when it comes to the F/O lists (which are, really, the main things it's there for!). While the tables work decently on desktop, they aren't good for mobile due to how the formatting works - so, I want to change the layout to something better, that uses lists.
One thing I was mulling over while doing this is whether I should sort my F/O lists by type (so romantics, familials, platonics, potentials), or by series (so Pokémon, FFXIV, Xenoblade Chronicles, and so on, if I have the elements to do so). The former way was how I did it before, but I've made a quick mockup of the latter just to illustrate what I mean, in case that way would be clearer/easier to refer to:
Is it easier/more useful to have F/O list pages sorted by series or by type? And is it useful to have info about which self-insert is used for which on that same page, instead of it all being in the self-inserts page, or would that make things too cluttered on the F/O list pages? I want to go with whatever other people find easiest, because they will be the ones who will be referring back to my carrd most.
The key information I want my carrd to have on it somewhere is:
The name, source, and blog tag for every one of my F/Os - romantic ones, familial ones, platonic ones, and then also crushes and other potential F/Os
The name, source, and blog tag for all of my self-inserts
The name, source, and blog tag for all of my romantic selfships, since the tag tells you which self-insert I use for each selfship
Somewhere within all of that, the information about which F/O is associated/interacts with which self-insert (to stick with XC2 as an example: I use Sapphire to selfship romantically with Pyra and Perun, but Calanthe to selfship with KOS-MOS, and despite both Sapphire and Calanthe co-existing in the party together, Nia is specifically more friends with Sapphire while MĂČrag is specifically more friends with Calanthe)
Does that make sense? I know it's a lot of info, but that is why I'm determined to have it be presented in whichever way other people find easiest to navigate and refer back to.
So, with that in mind, if I may open the question to everyone:
Thank you kindly for reading! I hope this all makes sense .w.
#heart of the void#blog logistics#or rather carrd logistics#I would just ''do it whichever way *I* want to do it'' but a) I want my carrd to be as easy-for-others-to-use as possible#and b) I don't actually know which way I want to do it >w<#that's why I'm requesting others' thoughts on the matter should anyone have any they wish to share with me#in any case I hope that everyone is doing well
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#so i woke up really early#and that was okay cos inwatched avs while i loaded the dishwasher and fed henry (cat not popstar) and washed my face and logged into work#four day weekends are so nice but my bosses emails ugh#i managed to have three meetings#one of which i had to contribute a lot to#and get a ministerial response completed while watching that utterly borked nucks match#and now i am having morning tea and feeling good#ive decided its not too late to plant sweet peas#i couldn't do it cos of surgery but look its still Autumn..#and idk i just feel gd about this week#i am enjoying organising the house in a low pressure way and writing my fic and i see neil on wed#and it is mamas birthday on Saturday so on Friday my sisters and i will have dinner at a nice place by the harbour#near where she wants her ashes scattered under the bridge where you walk round the corner and see soh#and we'll talk about things she would have hated and things she would have loved since she died#and I'll cry into my sydney rock oysters and miss her#but im missing her as i stand in the kitchen typing this waiting for the kettle to boil so you know#silv rambles#sorry i just do this on whichever blog im using the most#block the silv rambles tag if its super annoying
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do you have already some ideas for pride au s? i need to know what is going on in that blender that ur brain is. do u see him with high waisted leviâs and crop tops??? is he a total doormat for smiths enjoyer r??? i need to know more
hi omg yes! yes i do! s' deal is slightly different to r's, in that r has no parallel/does not correspond to any character in the original film, so i'm basically inserting him as a figure into the narrative (although as irrelevant as this is, to me he is. closest to bill nighy's cliff if cliff was a young man in the eighties xx), whereas s more or less fills the position that mark fills in the film. but other than that he is completely free 4 me to characterise and i think he will be so fun honestly! from the thoughts ive had so far hes sort of a mess of a guy at least to begin with. he is kind of moving at a hundred miles and hour + throwing himself into organizing this thing but if you were to slow him down and put him under a microscope hes uhhh. quite lost + lonely in a way. i expect it will not take him very long to become quite embarrassingly gone for r i think he will consider him the best thing since. sliced bread within hours of meeting him he is imagining them both as the two maidens of pompeii its. a really poor performance from him. he thinks râs accent is sooo sexy every time he talks s is twirling his hair like omggggg. say that again or please elaborate please tell me moreâŠpleaseâŠ..
also i am looking forward to dressing him up in fun outfits again because he is first and foremost my barbie i am just not sure what yet! i am not as familiar with the eighties as i am with the seventies in a lot of ways so. the setting and everything that comes with that will be really fun to research xx although i am struggling to decide on s' music taste!! r lends himself very well to eighties music i think i could build him a record collection easily (including the smiths sad but true) whereas. s seemed to fit better in the seventies :-/ i am not sure what hes listening to in the eighties apart from seventies records he hasnt let go of yet!! and despite the much more glaring aspects of this fic i have yet to turn my attention to frankly. deciding what silly little songs s wants to listen to is currently one of my main priorities xx
#also in relation to s serving as the mark figure and any instance where the characters are directly reflecting a figure in the film#although for the purpose of the narrative they're inhabiting specific roles (e.g. leader/founder of lgsm / paddy considine's role of the#miner they have sort of. first contact with) they're in no way intended to inhabit or comment on or. reflect the characters of whichever#figure they correspond to in the film. if that makes sense. as in their actual characterisations are purely fictional + the only link they#have to the characters in the film is the fact that they are serving the same narrative role! other than that theyre completely fictional#and that is the only sense in which theyre based on the film characters (and therefore the real people the film characters are based on).#hopefully that makes sense but seeing as im like knee deep in research + interviews + articles + documentaries about this now i am#ever more#conscious of the fact that pride is based on real people and therefore just wanted to be. super clear that none of the characters in this#au would be based on the film's portrayal of those real people in terms of the way they are characterised!#they fulfil certain positions that reflect real events as required by the story but as characters they are. purely fictional :-) anyway#sorry for this long winded way of making a very simple comment hopefully i dont have to say the word narrative again but. yeah#if i do write this i wanted to b super clear about that right off the bat :-) s is going about things in a singularly s way#(<- pathetically and cuntily)#god this is. sooo sorry for how long every part of this post is anon this is so embarrassing. no one ever can accuse me of being concise#anon#telegram#pride au
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just realized never explicitely mentioned it in here I think, but my oc Shlee is very much nonbinary. like he just never really had time/community to process what it would mean for him specifically, how that would inform the way he'd like the world to perceive him or his gender presentation or whatnot, but shlee's experience of being alive is Absolutely (and inescapably) genderqueer. How could it not be.
#shlee#ok when I typed shlee my tags wanted me to write shleepy#which#good job past me you earned a chuckle#but when you're a salarian male raised by asari and isolated from the world#and then when you do get out of the world you let everybody gender you in whichever way is more convenient#and it means basically nothing to you#like#to him âmaleâ means nothing beyond being an extension of âsalarianâ aka âalienâ aka âdifferent from people I knowâ#but I don't think he would place any value on being male outside of that --he wouldn't even know he's supposed to or what that involves#especially since there's no clear external secondary way of telling the difference in his species anyway#also: being raised by the asari#what even is gender to him at this point but a vague concept as abstract as administrative districts#especially for someone who doesn't have any legal recognition of his existence#anyway I don't know why I felt like writing meta about Shlee again after a year of radio silence#I don't know I was just thinking about my little guy!!!
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do you take requests? if u don't, ignore this haha but i wanted to request kenbig au where ken is running away and big wants to stop him but can't shoot him, and ken is like if u kill me, then i'll accept it (vegaspete coded lol)
I don't take requests, sorry :(
Unless it's for a commission, but they're still closed until this god damn summer is finally over đ©
#unfortunately I barely have enough time to draw all the ideas I already have on my own ugh#I did try to play that scene through in my head though haha#like yeah big would definitely hesitate to shoot him. he's pathetic that way and too emotional for his own good#but of course ken would see that as an opportunity to exploit it#if he did say that line it'd be to catch big off guard and stall him long enough to escape#he's not a romantic and he doesn't want anyone to kill him. not even big. he's just an opportunist and a little shit#but I think instead of devastating him like pete it'd just piss big off lmao#so he'd ABSOLUTELY shoot him then. not kill him obviously just shoot him to incapacitate him#like wHO DOES THAT FUCKER THINK HE IS!!!#cue ken complaining about big shooting him for the next 70 years#(or until big finally strangles him whichever comes first)#replies#kenbig#anon#thank you for providing me with these mental images!!#I do love thinking about them. and putting them in situations
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I really really REALLY think the story would have been stronger without august and dayâs mom tbh. Actually even tho I didnât like the august sub plot I can see how it made sense to help bridge the gap between dayâs seeing life and his new blind life. But his mom? She wasnât necessarily the one who kept him cooped up in his room for a year, I mean she didnât help but day was also doing it to himself. Now in ep 10 tho she absolutely put him on house arrest and Iâm really not happy about that. This is kind of all over the place but the point is, so far she hasnât been that important to the plot and doing this whole failed-at-best eye transplant bullshit just for her to come to terms with his blindness is just. What the fuck. Everything that happened up until this point could have happened whether she was present or not. I guess night wouldnât have been so parentified and glass child-ed (? lol) but honestly that shit was hard to watch so I could have done without it. Day and night could absolutely still have had one-sided beef regardless of her presence in their lives. She could have died prior to the accident and the bulk of the story would be the same obviously aside from this eye donation plot and GOD I wish that were the case. Ok yes and there would be no one to oppose mhok but thatâs also like. Not necessary?? The point of the show (thus far) was accepting and adapting to a new way of life and grieving and love helping you find your way out of the dark and miss girl did not have to be there for any of thatâŠ. I guess I just have a tendency to sentence characters I donât enjoy to permanent and retroactive removal from my screen lmao but we REALLLLLY did not need to go down this eye transplant road for the fucking momâs character development and thatâs the BEST case scenario!!!!! If it works then there was no point in going up that mountain at all and what the fuck was the point of any of it really?
#look everyone in my life knows how much I love this show and how important it is to me#but the story could have been so much stronger and cleaner if it focused tighter on day AND MHOK with a side serving of beefing brothers#and also porjai. sheâs so important.#but mhok could have had so much more development like he is literally my most favorite character from any piece of media right now and maybe#thatâs just bc Iâm infatuated with jimmy lmao it remains to be seen but I do feel like we could have gotten so much deeper into him as a#character. Iâm not saying he hasnât had his own arc but there is just not enough mork. no amount of him would ever be enough for me lmao#anyway this show is everything to me at this time and I just really donât want to see it fall so hard from grace which I think the eye#donation whichever way it goes is going to be a huge scar on it. completely unnecessary. as brilliant and lovely as it has been until now#I definitely think there are a lot of things that could have made it better#last twilight
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Do government sign language translators need to know all four languages? Or, I guess, three, since they can only sign in one at a time. Or do they get to sign from the spoken translation?
#Given how few there are#I feel like insisting on all four languages would be a bad idea#not if you want to provide translations#and you need two anyhow#because they can only sign in one at a time#and the same thing kind of applies#to insisting on more than just the corresponding spoken language#for whichever language they sign in#but having stuff be translated twice#also seems like a bad idea#I guess doing it that way#would mean that Deaf people#would understand the same amount as the hearing person next to them#even if both of them miss out on something#it's eveen
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hi so im thinking about ashara and cillian in the fade. the fear demon revealing to everybody that anders is alive and the resulting conversation <3 and cass is pissed obviously but instead of ashara being pissed at him she ends up defending him to everyones shock. and then she begrudgingly tells him and the group about her blood mage mother. and how everybody thought she was beyond saving, but that never made sense to ashara because she'd watched her mother live with control and discipline for like 14 years prior to her one unfortunate slip up. and she tells cillian that her mother may not have won her battles in the end but she believes that anders must be very strong to have held on so long and she believes that there is always hope for him to get better. bye
#oc: ashara#oc: cillian#im sorely regretting my decision to have cillian stay in the fade but :/ its what she would do smh#but i hc after adamant she organizes all the resources she can spare#into a secret unit working towards getting him out. she doesnt tell varric because she doesnt want to give him false hope#but i like to think she maybe... gets leli to intercept one of varric's letters to anders#and she lets anders Specifically know that theyre working on it. and offering him amnesty if he wants to help#hhhhhh. god i just.#i feel like the outcome of adamant was bioware's way of retiring whichever character stays but leaving it open ended to players#but i dont WANT open ended i want CLOSURE! and also cillian to come back from the fade with sick magic and freak out bc hes a rogue lol
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I ran out of tags before i could list all the rune factory girls im really sorry ill do better next time...
Hello, tumblr user. Before you is a tumblr post asking you to name a female fictional character. You have unlimited time to tag a female character, NOT a male one.
Begin.
#rocma. takane enomoto. patchouli touhou . all of touhou actually . i could name but my hand would cramp. jesse pokemon. lyra pokemon.#lulu yurigasaki. trish jjba. hot pants jjba. ermes jjba. jolyne jjba . ff jjba. megurine luka. lily vocaloid. gumi vocaloid. meiko vocaloid.#kuromi. my melo. ichigo mew mew. amu hinamori. marry kozakura. kido tsubomi. momo kisaragi. azami. shion kozakura.ayano tateyama. hiyori.#ayaka. rin kido... nico love live. sophie hatter. hilda pokemon rosa pokemon. theres like 5 pokemon characters with actual last names sorry.#ginko yurishiro. literally every character in yuri espoir other than those two shitty guys and tht shitty father#heejung from dandelion i loves her. nanami from norn9 . ceres from virche evermore her design is rlly pretty.#falin marcille izustumi kiki namari fleki cithis pattadol.. dungeon. marina pearl frye shiver callie marie splatoon. nessa sonia im just#going to name pokemon characters#marnie. marley. katy. iono. ryme. tyme. tulip. geeta. rika. oleana. melony. penny . nemona. carmine.opal. serena. valerie. drasna. malva.#diantha. shauna. emma. theres more in kalos but idr its been awhile... lana. mallow.lillie. acerola. mina. olivia . hapu. kahili. lusamine.#wicke. plumeria. soliera...yancy. lenora. elesa. skyla. iris. roxie..juniper. shauntal. catherine. bianca. cynthia. gardenia fantina.#candice. bertha. maylene. dahlia . phoebe. courtney. shelly. winona. liza. glacia.lisia. zinnia. roxanne. flannery. dawn and may.nemona.#selene. juliana. gloria#alex russo and harper finkle from wizards of waverly place.. sorry.#kris. leaf. or green. or blue . whichever name she wants to have idk. claire. jasmine. ariana. karen. erika. sabrina misty. lorelei. agatha#whitney. JANINE. i almost forgot her name i knew it started with j but i kept thinking jasmine.#lots of j girls in gen 2. jasmine. janine... and no one else.#anabel or annabel idk . one of them#theres other frontier or battle facility girls but i cant remember their names. lucy i think is one. theres a blond girl in hoenn and#an purple haired woman in sinnoh. .OH THE GALAXY GIRLS. juniper and mars.. cheryl is another character. idk if thts her name actually but#it definitely started with a c she has green hair u help her through tht forrest on the way to gardenias town#theres a pink haired kid u guide through another area too might be somewhere in victory road might not who knows#N has two adoptive sisters who have designs and everything and i used to know their names but here we are#raifort and lacey.. amarys.briar. perrin. who the fuck else was in scarlet i just watched my friend play it#dendra. and miriam. mela. . sada.. irida. mai. sabi. arezu cogita. palina. calaba. cyllene. akari. the miss fortune sisters....#i cant remember any of the characters names from pokemon rangers im so sorry i rlly do like those games tho..#i think i wouldnt even be half way done if i listed the touhou characters i remember the names of....anyways vivian paper mario#celica fire emblem and ninian fire emblem... camilla..hinoka... other such cases..#top ten touhou girlies lets go. at number 10 we have nvm hold that thought.#frey forte dolce margaret amber venti xiao pai clorica blossom lin fa nancy illuminata. raven pia sakura shara collette marian sofia karina
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stupid in love - psh (m)
this work contains smut - minors please do not interact
pairing. best friend!sunghoon x fem!reader
synopsis. One night early on in your summer vacation, your best friend Sunghoon admits that his biggest anxiety about starting college is going there as a virgin - one thing leads to another, and you end up learning a few things from each other. The more time passes, the more obvious it becomes that your feelings for each other surpass friendship, but with the end of summer looming over your heads, it's hard to tell where these newfound emotions will lead you.
genre. best friends/childhood friends 2 lovers, summer au, lots of fluff and smut but also some angst to spice things up, when i say smut i mean LOTS of smut. like mostly smut lol (mutual first time, ice play, crazy stuff)
word count. 22.1k
a/n. bringing this one back from the pits of my google docs guys.. its been so long since i've posted anything and im not sure when the new hoon fic will be ready so i thought i'd repost an og asahicore fic!!! the title was originally 'hot like ice' but i changed it bc this is my blog and i do what i want <3 i'd also like to say that in terms of plot this is probably not something i would write nowadays, it's very smut-heavy and thats not what im about now idk i was crazy back then... but i rmb being happy w this fic and its reception when i first posted it so i'm happy to have it back on my blog and hope u guys will like it too <3 as always lmk what u think!!
It all started with a lollipop. Well, two, to be exact. One strawberry-flavored, one apple-flavored.Â
You stand in front of your friend, lollipops in hand. âWhich one do you want, Hoon?âÂ
âI donât mind, just pick whichever one you like best,â he replies absent-mindedly, eyes on the TV as he tries to find a suitable movie for this late summer afternoon.
You plop down on the couch next to him and look at the two lollipops in your hands, unable to decide which flavor you like better. âI donât know what I feel like right now,â you announce to an uninterested Sunghoon. âIâll just try both.â
That seems to catch your best friendâs attention. He watches as you unwrap both candies, tasting each once, twice, then as you decide you want the apple-flavored lollipop and hand him the strawberry-flavored one. He doesnât take his eyes off of your lips as you wrap them and swirl your tongue around the candy, letting its sweetness wash over your taste buds. You raise your eyebrows when you notice his staring and he blinks a couple times, trying to snap himself out of it. âDid you want the other one?â you ask, confused by his behavior.
âN-no, I like strawberry,â he stammers, turning his gaze back to the screen in front of you and settling for âWhen Harry Met Sally,â a movie youâve both seen a thousand times but never get bored of.
Youâre used to Sunghoon getting lost in his thoughts, so you donât question it much. You sit back on the couch, your knee touching his. You two are no strangers to a little skinship - after being friends for almost eight years, physical contact comes naturally. You have to admit that recently, itâs started to feel different; but the idea of your friendship changing tugs at your heartstrings so much that you ignore the prickles on your skin when he hugs you or the way your stomach flips when he smiles at you, dimples and sharp canines on display. You tell yourself itâs all stupid and that you can handle so much as your knees touching.
Sunghoon, on the other hand, can't. The lollipop in his mouth right now was in yours mere moments ago and youâd given it to him like sharing saliva was no big deal. He feels like a thirteen year-old for thinking like this, but this was pretty much an indirect kiss.
He stares at the TV screen, but all he can see are your perfect lips sucking that lollipop, and his mind is desperately not trying to go there, but he just cannot help himself. Blood rushes to his dick as he pictures your mouth around him, sucking him off with as much enthusiasm as you are the lollipop. Would you like his taste? Would you look up at him with those pretty eyes of yours, smiling even with his dick stuffed in your mouth?
His own thoughts catch him off guard, and before they can get any wilder, he runs off to the bathroom, knowing heâd never live it down if you caught a glimpse of his erection. Thankfully, you donât, and you call after him, asking if he wants you to pause the movie, to which he shouts back a strangled âno.â
He comes back ten minutes later, face flushed and breath heavy. âGoddamn, Hoon, I know weâre best friends, but if youâre going to dump a massive load, I wished you did it in your own bathroom and not mine,â you tease him, laughing as his face gets even redder and he opens his mouth to protest.
âI was just on my phone!â he replies, mildly offended.
âWhatever,â you say, still laughing, and turn your attention back to the movie.
Well. Sunghoon would rather have you think he just took a huge shit than have you know he came to the idea of you sucking him off and swallowing every last drop of his cum.Â
--
A few days later, you and Sunghoon are lying on his bed, the both of you on your backs, talking about this and that as you often do. Itâs almost 3 a.m., and it feels almost rebellious, being up this late after months of waking up at 6, but your high school graduation was a week ago and you feel like you can do anything. The dim fairy lights you forced him to put up and the bright moon outside are the only sources of light in the room, and when you turn to look at him, you can just make out the outline of his face, the curve of his nose, the sharpness of his jaw. You've looked at him a thousand times before, so your memory makes up for what the light takes away from your eyes. You shift to lying on your stomach, propping yourself up on your elbows so you can take a better look at your friend. Something about the moonlight makes him look ethereal, and his beauty makes your heart skip a beat, but youâd never admit that to him. Out of habit, you reach out to touch his moles, gently placing your middle finger on his nose and your pointer finger on his cheek. Sunghoon closes his eyes at your touch, used to the warm feeling that settles in his stomach whenever you do that.
âY/N?â he calls out, just as you pull your fingers away from his moles.
âYeah?â
He opens his eyes again, meeting yours. âIs there anything youâre scared of for next year? You know, heading off to college and all that?â You shift again and lie on your back, the sides of your two bodies touching. You stare at the ceiling for a while, thinking about his question, and Sunghoon patiently waits for your answer.
âIâm scared about not making friends. Iâm not the least outgoing person ever, but itâs so intimidating, not knowing anyone. And itâll be weird not having you around. Shut up,â you warn before he can make an egotistical remark, so he just chuckles. âIâm also worried about the amount of work Iâll have. Iâve heard so many times that itâs a huge step-up from high school, the workload and the type of work and all that. What if I donât even like the degree that I chose? I know I can change it, but it still stresses me out. Turning 18 doesnât feel like a huge deal, but going to college does. Itâs when all the responsibility hits. My mom told me to make my own doctorâs appointment the other day, and I almost cried when I had to call them. Iâm not gonna have anyone to do my groceries for me. Iâm scared I might get an awful roommate. I hate the idea of communal showers. I donât even know what I want to do after college, and I know I have four years to make up my mind, but Iâm scared those four years are gonna flash by and Iâll be indebted and unemployed by the end of it.â You pause to take a breath, and you can feel Sunghoonâs eyes on the sides of your face, but he doesnât say anything. âAlso, I heard that you put on a lot of weight during your freshman year.â
You turn to look at him to find him smiling at you. âWow. Thatâs a lot.â
The two of you giggle, eyes not leaving the otherâs. After a moment, you turn your gaze back to the ceiling and sigh. âYeah, I know. But Iâm more excited than I am scared. What about you?â
Sunghoon follows your gaze and looks up above him. He doesnât say anything for a while, and when he finally speaks up, he says it so quietly, you almost donât hear it. âIâm scared of going to college a virgin.â
You try to stay serious for a few seconds, but you canât keep your laughter in and snort loudly at your friendâs words, laughing so hard your stomach starts to hurt.
âDonât make fun of me!â he whines, hands coming up to cover his face.
It takes you a while to calm down; not only was Sunghoonâs statement ridiculous, it was so unexpected that you couldnât stop laughing. âIâm sorry, Iâm sorry,â you apologize, catching your breath. âI just canât believe that thatâs what youâre scared of, of all things.â
âWhat? Itâs a perfectly reasonable concern,â he defends himself.
âNobodyâs gonna care if youâre a virgin, Hoon,â you try to reason with him, but if there is one thing your best friend is, itâs stubborn.
âIâm gonna care! What if I like a girl but I canât bring myself to make a move on her âcause I have no experience?â
âBut Hoon, chances are she doesnât have a lot more experience than you do! Sheâll be the same age we are, dummy. Weâre not sixteen year-olds jumping into a world of twenty year-olds. Sure, some people have their first time in high school, but a lot do it at university. Youâll be fine,â you reassure. His furrowed eyebrows and pout tell you heâs not fully convinced, though.
âOh, câmon! If you really want to lose your virginity before leaving, we can get you laid during the summer. Iâm sure we can find a girl nice enough,â you tease, jokingly patting his bicep, trying not to make a note of how firm the skin feels under your hand.
Sunghoon sighs, and you can tell heâs actually taking this seriously. âIâm not that desperate that Iâd have sex with the first girl that agrees, you know. Iâd still rather do it with someoneâŠâ He glances at you for just a second. âSomeone I trust.â
You feel your face heat up at the possible meaning behind his words, so you look away, not wanting him to see the effect they had on you. He changes his position on the bed, and now itâs his turn to prop himself up on his elbows and look down at you.
âWhat about you, Y/N? Donât you think itâd be good to get a bit of experience before going off to college? Itâll be one less thing to stress about,â he says, a small smirk playing on his lips, and his shy demeanor from moments prior is completely gone. Out of fear that his ego would get even bigger, you'd never tell him, but you love it when he gets like that - when he thinks heâs the shit and teases you mercilessly. You know he does it lightheartedly, and it never fails to bring a smile to your face.
Except right now it does. Youâre not smiling, far from it; youâre looking up at your best friend, mouth slightly agape and wide eyes searching for a sign that he may be just joking. He raises an eyebrow expectantly, and your reaction is to scoff at him.Â
âDo I need to remind you that youâre the reason I have no experience to begin with, Park Sunghoon?â you ask, sitting up on the bed to peer down at him. He shifts again and lays on his back, his hands coming up behind his head as he beams at you.
âAm I really?â
You wish you could slap that shit-eating grin off of his face. This is not the first time you're having this conversation. âYes, Hoon. Every time a guy was even remotely interested in me, you chased them away. Iâm still not over you telling Kang Taehyun I have smelly feet! I had a huge crush on that guy!â
Sunghoon loudly laughs at the memory, and you curse yourself for cracking a smile when you see his face scrunched in laughter. âThat was in Year 5, Y/N! Itâs been years!â
You grab a pillow and throw it at his head, unable to not laugh along with him. âWhat about Bang Yedam, then? That was only last year, and you totally ruined my chances with him!â
âListen, if you having a creepy doll collection is enough to make him not ask you out, then he must not have liked you that much.â
âBut I donât have a creepy doll collection! Thatâs the whole point!â you say, on the brink of desperation. You sigh at your friend whoâs still catching his breath from laughing so much. âYouâre just lucky they didnât repeat your bullshit to anyone. I wouldâve had such a weird reputation otherwise.â
âOf course they didnât. I told them Iâd kill them if they did,â he stated matter-of-factly, as if that was a normal and appropriate thing to do.
âCouldnât you have threatened them that way so they wouldnât ask me out instead of lying to them about me?â
Sunghoon stares at you for a few seconds, eyes seemingly empty of thought. âHuh. Yeah, I guess I couldâve done that.â
âUgh,â you groan, and plop down on the bed next to him. Neither of you says anything for some time, until you break the silence again. âYou know you even stole my first kiss, Hoon,â you speak softly.
âI know,â he says, voice just as quiet as yours. âYou never shut up about it.â
âWhy would I? I was about to kiss Lee Heeseung, of all people, the boy everybody, including me, had a crush on, but no, someone had to get between us and kiss me in his stead,â you grumble, giving your friend a harsh side-eye.
Sunghoon sighs and shakes his head as if youâre being irrational. âI donât get why youâre so hung-up on that. Why would you want your first kiss to be because of a middle-school party dare rather than have it with your best friend, whom you know and trust?â
âIt was Lee Heeseung, for Godâs sake!â
âAnd Iâm Park Sunghoon!â
Still both laying on your backs, you turn your heads to look at each other. Thereâs something in his eyes youâve never seen before that you canât quite put your finger on. The person in front of you is one youâve known for years now and yet the look in his eyes is of such unfamiliar intensity that it makes your stomach flip. You inhale sharply when his eyes drift down to your lips, and you canât help but mirror his actions. The atmosphere has flipped like a light switch; it was playful just mere seconds ago, the sound of your usual banter filling up the room. All of a sudden, thereâs something heavy dancing in the air around you, and it makes your heart skip a bit faster and your breath a bit shallower.
Your voice is barely above a whisper when you say his name.
âYeah?â His eyes snap back up to yours, but you're still stuck on his lips. Have they always looked so kissable?
âWhy did you do that? Why did you push those boys away from me?â you ask, even though youâve asked this question a thousand times before. You want to hear his answer again.
âIâve already told you. You deserved better than them.â Whenever you ask him about it, Sunghoon always stops here, and you never push. But there are unspoken words left hanging that youâre dying to hear.
âWho, then? Whoâd be better than them?â
He's quiet for a second. âItâs a secret,â he whispers finally, a small smirk teasing his lips, and you roll your eyes at him. But then your eyes meet again and your breath hitches. You shift to your side so you can face him more fully, and he mirrors your actions.Â
Itâs his turn to say your name. âY/N?â
âYeah?â
âHave you kissed anyone since?â he asks, coming off shyer than heâd intended to.
You giggle and smack his shoulder lightly. âWhy do you wanna know?â
He snickers too and, to your surprise, stops your fist from hitting him a second time, enveloping his larger hand around yours and laying it between the two of you on the bed. âCause I should know that sorta thing. Also, if you did kiss someone since then, and I didnât know about it, I'd be upset.â
âWhy would you be mad?â you say, still giggling, trying to ignore the way your heartbeat quickens when he threads your fingers with his.
âBecause you wouldnât have told me!â
âWellâŠâ
âNo way, Y/N,â he practically shouts, already feeling betrayed, his free hand coming up to grip his heart in fake shock.
âLet me at least finish first,â you protest. He obliges, although he doesn't look very happy about it. âYou know that summer 2 years ago I went away to camp?â
âYeah, worst summer ever.â
âWell, I did sort of⊠get with someone, that summer,â you say, avoiding Sunghoonâs wide eyes as he gasps loudly.
âWhat? Who with? How come you didn't tell me?â he exclaims, letting go of your hand. He sits up on the bed and crosses his arms over his chest like an annoyed child.Â
âBecause of this exactly.â
âWhatâs this?â
âYour reaction right now!â you say, sitting up as well, both of your knees grazing his. The simple touch sends a shiver down your spine that you can only hope he takes no notice of.
âWouldnât you be a bit upset if I told you I âgot withâ,â he air-quotes, âa random girl two years ago?â
âNo? Especially not if it was two years ago?â
You both look just as confused as the other, obviously not on the same wavelength. He furrows his eyebrows and glares at you. âWell, I am.â
You throw your head back in laughter and place your hands on his knees, but when you come forward again, you overestimate the distance between the both of you and find yourself mere inches from his face. The laughter immediately dies in your throat, and you feel it go dry when your stunned reaction elicits a smirk from him. You donât know how long you stare into his eyes, all you know is you snap out of it when his gaze drifts down to your lips once more. Youâre closer now than you were before, and having him so close makes your mind spin with all the possible outcomes of such proximity. You lean back on the bed, pulling away your hands from his knees to hold yourself up on them.
âThereâs no reason to,â you say, hoping that breaking the silence will dissipate some of the tension in the air. You keep going back and forth between familiar and dangerous and you donât know how long youâll be able to handle that atmosphere. âItâs not like anything grand happened. We made out a bit and held hands. We never spoke after that summer, otherwise youâd have known about it.âÂ
Sunghoon lets out a low hum. His eyes are still trained on yours, and you wished heâd look away because you canât seem to do it yourself. He still doesnât say anything, so you speak up again. âYou say that like youâve never had girlfriends, by the way. Surely youâve done more than just kissing.â Silence again, and you canât decipher the look heâs giving you. âSo, I donât know what youâre so scared about, because itâs not like you have zero experience. Iâm sure the girls at uni will love you, Hoon.â
He sighs and finally tears his eyes away from yours, and youâre not sure if youâre seeing things because of how dark and late it is or if thereâs an actual blush creeping on his cheeks. âSure, Iâve had a couple girlfriends, but you know theyâve never lasted long,â he says, looking down at his lap. âWe made out⊠I guess I-â he gives you a quick glance, âIâve touched their boobs and theyâve touched my⊠you knowâŠâ
You canât help but giggle at how shy your friend is suddenly being. âCanât even say the word âpenisâ, Hoon?,â you tease, and his eyes snap back up at yours.
âOf course I can. Penis! There.â You look at each other for a few seconds before bursting into laughter, Sunghoon hushing you so you donât wake up his parents, but his hushes are louder than your laugh. After a couple minutes, you calm down and wipe your tears away, grateful for the break in the tension between you and Sunghoon.
âAnyway, yeah, I guess I donât have that much experience. Which is why I brought it up in the first place.â And just as quickly as itâd left, the tension is back again.
You look around the room because the weight of Sunghoonâs gaze on your face is unbearable. You release a shaky breath when you feel his gentle hand on your knee, and your eyes drift to it, but you canât get yourself to look him straight in the eyes.Â
âDonât you think itâd be good to get experience before leaving for college, Y/N?â he asks, and you can tell heâs trying to sound confident, but his voice comes out breathier and shakier than he must intend it to.
âI donât know⊠I donât think itâs necessary,â you say, eyes still trained on his hand resting on your knee. He squeezes it a bit, making you finally look up at him. Is it just you, or did the room get hotter all of a sudden?
âNot everything you do has to be out of necessity, you know.â
The both of you stare at each other for a few moments. This shift in your relationship was bound to happen; youâd been feeling it more and more recently. You didnât use to think twice about Sunghoon taking your hand in his, nor did you feel those stupid butterflies eating away at your stomach every time his gaze lingered for a second too long. Youâd tried to reason with yourself that it was just teenage hormones doing their stupid job, and that you were doomed to feel some kind of attraction for your extremely handsome best friend at some point in your life, but that if you ignored it hard and long enough it would go away.
Well, now that Sunghoonâs lips are barely inches away from yours and your skin is on fire under his hand, it definitely isnât going away.
âWhat would you do if I kissed you?â Sunghoon asks, eyes fluttering down to your lips. You think heâs looked at your lips more than the rest of your face in the past hour.
âIâd slap you,â you lie, gaze mirroring his.
âWould you really?â he says, and your hesitation makes him smirk slightly.
âNo,â you breathe out, and itâs the answer heâs been waiting for, the answer he needs to finally press his soft lips against yours.Â
You donât even have the time to savor the moment, though, because the warmth of his lips is gone as quickly as it came. He pulls back, a surprised look in his eyes, as if he canât believe what he just did. The tension above you breaks and rains down on you like small pieces of confetti that settle comfortably on your head and shoulders. Thereâs a knot in your stomach but instead of twisting your insides in nervousness, it feels warm and makes you giddy for whatâs to come next. Sunghoonâs surprised expression transforms into a grin at the sound of your laughter, and he canât help but chuckle along with you.
You scooch closer to him, and his other hand comes to rest on your second knee. You can tell heâs not going to do much more, so you lean in bit by bit, and peck him softly on the lips. You both giggle again and you blame the fact that you want to feel his lips on yours again on the late hour of the night. You peck his lips once, twice more, giggling inbetween, but when you peck them a third time, he doesnât let you pull away and keeps his lips on yours. The sudden added strength takes you aback, but it doesnât take you long to yield to his touch and kiss him back.Â
Sunghoon moves his lips slowly against yours and itâs surprisingly easy to fall into his rhythm. You donât have the most experience with kissing, but something about doing it with your best friend reassures you and your whole body relaxes as you focus on the feeling of his lips moving in cadence with yours. The knot in your stomach stays there and tightens when his hands ride up your thighs and settle on your hips, holding you snugly there. Youâre only wearing shorts and his palms against your bare skin make you release a shaky breath in Sunghoonâs mouth. You pull back for a bit, surprised at your own reaction, but nothing has prepared you for the way your best friend looks at you.
His pupils are dilated, dark; his glossed-over eyes bore right into yours. Your breath was already shallow from the kiss, but itâs his gaze that renders you completely breathless. Sunghoon tightens his grip on your hips and leans in for more, but you put a hand on his chest to stop him, making his eyes snap back into focus.
âOh my God, Iâm so sorry, Y/N. I donât know what took over me. Are you okay?â he asks, as short of breath as you are, but worry laced in his voice.
âNo- Yes- I mean, yes, Iâm fine, everythingâs fine, I just-â you shake your head, trying to gather your thoughts. âIâm justâŠâ
âTell me. You can tell me,â he says, rubbing gentle circles into your hips with his thumb, and the unfamiliar yet intimate gesture makes it even harder to concentrate.Â
âWe- weâre best friends, right?â you ask, voice trembling, You ask, even though you know the answer, just because youâre afraid the line the two of you have just crossed is already miles behind you, and you wonât be able to retrace your steps.
âYeah, of course we are,â Sunghoon reassures, head tilting to the side in confusion.Â
âAnd best friends⊠Do they⊠Well, itâs normal for best friends to kiss, right?â you say, trying to calm the overpowering urge to kiss him again.
Sunghoon chuckles and tucks a loose strand of hair behind your ear. âI donât know about that, Y/N.â
âOh,â you breathe.
Sunghoon quickly catches on to your hesitation. âBut who cares about what best friends usually do and donât do?â he says, holding your face between his hands to make you look up at him. âI liked kissing you, just now. I really, really liked it,â he admits, red dusting his cheeks. âDid you?â
You nod, too shy to put just how much you enjoyed kissing Sunghoon into words. âDo you want to do it again?â he asks and chuckles when you nod again, eyes already on his lips. This time, you donât stop him when he leans in and let him press his lips to yours again. His words have reassured you and you sigh into his mouth, making him smile into the kiss.Â
His hands ride up a bit and settle on your waist, bringing you a bit closer to him, and you circle your arms around his neck. The shyness of the first kiss is completely gone, and youâre both gaining more and more confidence, letting everything go and focusing solely on where your bodies meet. He tilts his head, deepening the kiss, and you push your body onto his, a sudden need to feel him against you, to feel his strong arms encaging you.Â
You pull away at the same time to catch your breaths, smiling at each other when you see how lustful the otherâs expression is. Sunghoonâs eyes have glossed over once more, and youâre sure yours have too. âCâmere,â he whispers, beckoning you to him. You climb onto his lap, one knee on each side of his hips. âIs this okay?â he asks, but you donât answer, you just lean in and kiss him again, holding his face in your hand as his hands roam your back over the thin fabric of your t-shirt. Your kisses are curious, the both of you trying to figure out what feels best as you tilt your heads from one side to the other and let your inquisitive hands travel each otherâs bodies. Yours find purchase in his hair, and you revel in the sighs that escape his lips whenever you pull and tug at the strands.Â
As the kiss gets hungrier and needier, his hands fall down to your lower back, and then to your ass. He just cups it for a while, but after a few moments, grabs it harder and brings you close to him, making your core rub against the hardness that had been building in his sweatpants for a while now. The friction is unexpected and you canât help the loud moan leaving your lips at the feeling. Itâs a feeling you know from your own hand in the privacy of your dark room, but Sunghoon making you feel that way is so foreign that it snaps you out of the daze youâre in.Â
âIâm sorry, Iâm sorry, was that too much?â Sunghoon scrambles for words, but youâre already pulling away, and he doesnât know what to do to keep you close.
You sit back on the bed, holding your knees close to your chest. You look at your best friend in front of you whoâs looking at you with a worried expression. Something in you craves to reach a hand out to him, to feel his cheeks and jawline under your palms again, to find out if heâd shiver at your touch and if goosebumps would form on his skin. Heâs been your best friend for eight years, and youâve always thought you knew everything about him, the same way heâs supposed to know everything about you. But you realize in this moment that there are things you donât yet know, melodies to be discovered, treasures to be unearthed. Your fingertips are burning to find them all.Â
The sound of your name resonates inside your mind and it takes you everything not to fall back on him again. You furrow your eyebrows, confused by all those things youâre feeling. What was it that just took over you, that lit your insides up so?
You straighten your back suddenly and take in your surroundings. Sunghoonâs room is still the same old room youâve always known, the same blue walls, the same posters he only ever changes when he finds a new interest and lets go of an old one. The same pictures from when you were 10, 12, 15, recent ones now that youâre 18; the same figure skating trophies and medals on his shelves. You turn to look at your best friend. The same soft, round cheeks contrasted by a sharp jaw; the same almond eyes, round with worry at your sudden movement away from him; the same two moles youâve always found so comforting, for some reason. You almost reach out to touch them, to give you some sense of balance, to reassure you that things arenât changing as much as it feels like they are. But youâre scared electricity might fry your fingers if you touch him right now. Youâre scared you wonât be able to take your fingers off of him, no matter how much it stings. His face is the same as always before, but thereâs something else to it, something you could probably figure out if you spent more than three seconds thinking about it, but youâre not sure you want to figure it out.
âIs everything okay? Did- Did I do something wrong?â he asks, voice laced with concern.Â
Before he can put a reassuring hand on your knee, you get off of the bed, and hurriedly say, âNo. I just- I think I should go home.â You look everywhere but at him.
He sits up at your words, concern turned into confusion. âItâs 3 a.m., Y/N, why do you want to go home all of a sudden? Youâve stayed over plenty of times before.â
âI know, I justâŠâ you trail off, trying to come up with an excuse. âIâve got cramps. I think my periodâs coming,â you lie. Itâs better than whatever truth is threatening to bubble up.
âOh. Right.â He scooches a bit, sitting on the edge of his bed. âIs there anything- like- can I do anything?â He sighs, steadies himself. âYou donât have to go, is what Iâm trying to say.â
A few months ago, when you had finally wrapped your head around the fact that your best friend was an attractive man and that he made you feel things friends werenât supposed to make you feel, youâd told yourself it was all just a phase that would pass soon. But feelings this strong surely cannot go away that easily.
You take a deep breath in and tear your eyes away from him. âI think I should go home,â you repeat. âIâll see you tomorrow, Hoon.â
You turn around and start walking away, but Sunghoon is quick on his feet and stops you from going out the door. âDo you actually have cramps? Or are you just scared that our friendship might change?â He sounds out of breath, like asking this question is taking him all of his energy.
You avert his gaze and try to push past him, but heâs much stronger than you. Puberty sure played its trick on him. You sigh and look down at your feet. âIâm tired, Hoon, letâs talk about it tomorrow.â
But if there is one thing your best friend is, itâs stubborn. âI donât wanna talk about it tomorrow. I wanna talk about it now. Did it feel nice?â he asks, and his resolute tone of voice makes you look up at him.
âI- I mean-â
âY/N,â he starts, wrapping his arms around you and leaning in a bit, his familiar scent filling your nostrils. You have to close your eyes. âAnswer me. Did it feel good?â
âYes,â you answer without thinking.Â
âIs that why youâre scared?â
âYes.â Your eyes flutter open when you feel his fingers graze your cheek. He leans in again and traps your kiss in a much softer and intimate kiss that makes your head spin and your thoughts cloud. Before you can get carried away, you pull away again, and ignore how beautiful he looks when his eyes stay closed for a couple of seconds longer. He only opens them once you tell him once again you should go home, that you need some time to think.
âLet me at least walk you there. Itâs dark,â he pleads, his grip on your waist still tight.
âHoon, I live right next door, Iâll be fine.â You let him kiss you once more and he makes you promise to call or text him tomorrow.
When you leave, Sunghoon plops back down on his bed, arm resting on his forehead as he plays back the events of the night. Had he done something wrong? Something that made you want to get as far away from him as quickly as possible? Heâd tried to be gentle and to make sure you were okay with everything, but he couldnât help but get carried away when he heard those sweet sighs of yours. He thought he was going to combust when he heard you moan, and he wanted to hear it over and over again, but youâd jumped from him like heâd told you he had killed someone.
He hopes you were telling the truth when you said you were just scared about your friendship changing. He hadnât wanted to push and get you to stay; he knew it was weird, seeing each other in a different light all at once. He wasnât completely oblivious; heâd felt that same shift in your relationship those past few months, just like you had, although youâd never spoken about it to each other. He knew he could never go back to seeing you as just a friend when heâd jerked off one day and you were all he could think of. He kept imagining the sounds youâd make and the way your hands would feel on him, and heâd gotten so close to getting that today, but he mustâve fucked something up and now his chances were ruined. He curses himself for letting you slip through his fingers just when he thought he finally had you.
You donât get a wink of sleep that night. Your mind is reeling with everything that happened in Sunghoonâs room. Your fingers unconsciously keep coming up to touch your lips and feel the ghost of his touch there. Your skin turns hot at the simple thought of how perfect his lips had felt against yours, and you toss and turn in your bed as you consider what mightâve been, had you stayed with Sunghoon.Â
But itâs all happening too quickly, and even though youâve been curious in more ways than one about your best friend for the past few months, you hadnât expected to kiss him and to enjoy it so much on a random summer night. Your thoughts only seem to calm down and your eyes finally close just as the sun starts to rise.
--
The next day, Sunghoon wakes up in the early hours of the afternoon and checks his phone right away. A couple of notifications, but nothing from you. A text from Jake in their group chat with Jay asking to hang out at Sunghoonâs pool, to which he replies that they can come whenever. He taps a quick one out in the shower, memories of your scent and your lips on his getting him to finish quicker than heâd like to admit. Heâs in the middle of a late breakfast when Jake and Jay spawn at his door, swimming trunks already on. Still nothing from you.
It doesnât take Jay and Jake long to figure out that something is up with their best friend. Itâs not like he does much usually, but today especially, he makes no effort to entertain them. He laughs at their jokes, but it feels like he laughs because he hears other people laughing rather than because he genuinely finds them funny. He barely even reacts when the inflatable pool ball hits him right in the face.
His friends donât say anything until theyâre all seated at a table by the pool, sipping on some ice-cold Coke. The air is still warm but the sun is low in the sky, hidden behind the house. Sunghoon is still lost in his thoughts, unblinking eyes fixed on a random point in the distance. Jay and Jake exchange a look before the former breaks the silence.
âIs everything alright, Hoon? You look out of it today.â
Jayâs voice brings him back to the here and now, and his eyes jump back and forth between his two friends who are looking at him expectantly. âHuh? Yeah, yeah, Iâm fine. Just tired. I didnât get a lot of sleep last night,â he says, leaving some of the truth out, but his friends know him better than he gives them credit for.
âAre you sure? I feel like thereâs something youâre not telling us. You usually act like a little bitch when youâre tired, you donât get allâŠ,â Jake shakes his hand in front of his face, âdistant like that.â
Sunghoon bites his lip, debating whether he should tell his friends about you or not. No matter how stupid they may be, they also know both of you quite well, so they might prove not completely useless, he thinks.
âY/N and I kissed last night.â
Itâs almost comical, how Jay and Jake bring their head forward in astonishment, how wide their mouth gets, how their eyes look like they might pop out of their sockets, and how they say âYou what?!â at the same time. On a normal day, Sunghoon would've laughed.
âWe kissed,â Sunghoon repeats, eyes drifting down to the ground in front of him as he rubs his neck in embarrassment.
âFucking finally!â Jay exclaims.
âTold you it was gonna happen. No way you two were going to stay just besties forever,â Jake teases, punching Sunghoon in the arm. âHow was it?â
Sunghoon sighs and leans back in his chair, letting his head hang back. âReally fucking amazing,â he chuckles. His friends holler for him, snickering like 12-year old boys who just saw a hot girl walk past.Â
âGod, I saw this coming from miles away. I donât know why you kept on insisting nothing was gonna happen between you two,â Jake says, beaming.
âI really didnât think anything would⊠I just⊠Started seeing her differently recently, I guess.â Sunghoon shrugs, sheepishly smiling to himself.
âSo, what happened? Did you guys just kiss orâŠ?â Jay asks, raising his eyebrows suggestively. Jake giggles at the insinuation of sex but has a curious glint in his eyes when he waits for Sunghoonâs answer.
âYeah, um, we just kissed cause she- she sort of ran away?â Sunghoon admits, wincing at the recollection.
âYou what?!â Chaeyongâs voice rings out in the food court of the mall where youâre currently sitting, halfway through your strawberry milkshake.
âKeep it down, would you?!â you scold her, smiling apologetically to the people staring at you and your friend.
âIf it was so good, why the hell did you run away, Y/N?â
âI just- I donât know⊠Freaked out, I guessâŠâ you mumble, cowering under the harsh look she gives you.
âWell, have you talked since?â You donât reply, just guiltily avoid her gaze. âY/N!â
âI know, I know! I just⊠donât know what to do. âHey, nice making out with you last night, bit weird since weâve been best friends since we were 11, but thatâs fine, right?â Ugh! Thatâs so stupid,â you complain, flopping back in your chair.
âThatâs exactly what you should say. Going MIA on him will just make things weirder. Plus youâve never gone more than 24 hours without speaking so one of you will eventually cave in. It should be you,â she says, looking at you with a raised eyebrow as she takes a sip from her milkshake.Â
You scoff when she gives you a âyou know Iâm rightâ look. âIâll think about it on the way home and text him. There.â
And you do think about it on the way home; but you donât get the opportunity to send the text, because as soon as you get off the bus at the stop right across from your house, you see Sunghoon sitting on the bench of your porch, looking around nervously and rubbing his hands on his denim shorts. You chuckle to yourself; who knew he got so distressed from not speaking to you for a day?
He stands up when he sees you approaching and raises his hand in a quick wave. âHi, Hoon,â you greet, and you can feel his whole body relax when you hug him. So, you donât hate him, he thinks. You sit down on the bench together. âSorry I didnât text you. I didnât know what to say after⊠last night,â you admit, hugging your knees to your chest as you sit facing him.
âYeah, I figured,â he chuckles, smiling shyly at you. âI was scared youâd never want to see me again.â
You look at him with wide eyes, mildly offended, and punch his arm. âHow could you think that?!â
âWell, you did sort of run away from me last night,â he says, lightly punching your arm in return.
You tut in defeat. âI did, didnât I?âÂ
âYeah. Iâm just glad you didnât walk past me straight into your house just now.â
You chuckle and rest your head on top of your knees. âThat wouldâve been a bit much, even for me.â
Sunghoon lets out a puff of air through his nose in response, and then the two of you sit in silence. Youâre contemplating what to do next when your friend pulls you from your thoughts. âShould we, umâŠâ He shuts his eyes tightly in reflection for a second before opening them again and looking straight at you. âShould we just pretend like last night didnât happen? Would that make you feel more comfortable?â
His words take you aback and your eyes widen a bit; you hadnât even thought pretending nothing happened last night was an option, because you didnât think youâd ever be able to actually get it out of your head. Even now, if you stare at Sunghoon for too long, your gaze will naturally drift downwards or youâll get a flashback of his large hands around your waist. But apparently, if he can offer to pretend like the previous night wasnât a thing, then it must not have been such a huge deal to him. You quickly try to hide your disappointment and nod at your friend. âRight. Yeah. Sure.â
Silence makes its way between you two again. It makes the late afternoon breeze a bit chillier and the physical distance between you and Sunghoon feel much bigger than it actually is. Wanting it to go away quickly, you ask, âDo you wanna watch a movie, then?â
Sunghoonâs never looked so relieved about watching a movie, and he immediately accepts your offer. You get some popcorn ready while he searches for a movie to watch. He clicks on a horror movie that looks like itâs got a clichĂ© storyline and awful acting, but youâre happy for any sort of distraction when Sunghoon is sitting so close to you.
You and Sunghoon always sit close-by when you watch something together, knees and shoulders brushing against each other. Tonight isnât any different, except that your skin burns everywhere it touches his. You can smell the faint scent of chlorine in his hair, and itâs so intoxicating you want to bury your face there and breathe it in.
Youâre thirty minutes into the movie and still nothingâs happened when Sunghoon puts his arm around you, letting his hand hang over your shoulder. The sudden warm contact makes you take a sharp intake of breath as memories of the previous night come flooding once again. You donât know what you were expecting, but Sunghoon simply rests his hand there and doesnât do anything more for another thirty minutes, except for squeezing your shoulder when thereâs a small jumpscare, making you chuckle at him. This isnât much more than what youâre used to with him, but knowing your friend, he must be thinking the ball is in your court. So you scooch a bit closer into his side and rest your head on his shoulder, the scent of his skin even stronger now that your nose is so close to his neck. You feel his chest raise and relax as he sighs deeply and tightens his hold around your shoulders. His small reactions to you spur you on and you decide to wrap an arm around his waist and you feel him flinch oh-so-slightly at your touch in such a sensitive spot. He starts to rub circles into your shoulder and rests his head on top of yours, and your whole body relaxes into his. This is so much more than what youâre used to with him; and yet, you so readily melt under his touch.
You can barely focus on the movie because of how close Sunghoon is. When a particularly scary ghost jumps on the screen, you flinch and hide your face in his neck, and he giggles at your reaction, hand coming up to stroke your hair comfortingly. It only takes you a few seconds to realize what position youâre in, and you release a shaky breath as you slowly lift your head towards Sunghoon, only to find him already looking at you, seemingly having had that same realization. When his eyes drift down to your lips, you know youâre done for.
You call out his name, and heâs already answered âYes?â before youâve had time to finish uttering the second syllable. âI donât think I want to pretend last night never happened,â you admit, holding his waist a bit tighter.
âGood. Me neither,â he breathes out before leaning down and trapping your lips in his, the kiss releasing all your pent-up frustration of the day. The world seems to melt away with his lips on yours, the movie already long forgotten. Sunghoon pulls you into his lap and you slide your palms up from his waist, against his chest and to his shoulders before wrapping your arms around his neck, bringing your body closer to his. His hands are sitting on your hips, fingers lightly pressing into them and your lower back. Now that you both seem to know what you want, itâs so easy, just falling into this kiss.
His tongue darts out to lick your bottom lip and you gladly open your mouth for him, letting his tongue explore it. You havenât kissed someone like this in ages, maybe ever, but Sunghoon takes the lead and effortlessly gets you to follow his rhythm. When a flick of his tongue against yours feels particularly nice, you arch your back and press your chest into his, making him smirk into the kiss. This time, when he brings your hips down onto his, letting you feel his erection against your clothed core, the feeling doesnât make you want to run away; instead, you want to feel it again and again.
You fall into a nice pace of rubbing yourself against him, eliciting hushed moans and loud breaths from the both of you. You canât concentrate on kissing him and grinding down on him at the same time, so you drop your head down to bury your face in his neck, leaving a few pecks there but mostly moaning against his skin, enjoying how your hot breaths make him shiver.
You canât keep a whine from escaping your lips when he bucks his hip into yours and his tip brushes directly against your covered clit, instantly bringing a hand up to your mouth. âFuck, Y/N,â he breathes. âI know we gotta keep quiet âcause of your parents but the sounds youâre making are so fucking pretty. I wanna hear them over and over again.â His words make you whimper against his neck and you feel your slick starting to pool in your panties.
âH-hoon. This feels so good,â you moan, breathing warmly against the shell of his ear.
âI know, right? Feels so good,â he chuckles, hands grabbing at your ass to bring you harder down onto him. His actions are about to elicit another moan from you when, all of a sudden, a loud jumpscare in the movie makes you jump away from the boy underneath you and yelp in fear, which in turn makes him scream in surprise. You look at each other, panting and eyes open wide, hands clutching at your hearts, until you burst into laughter. The fun moment is short-lived, however, as your mom rushes down the stairs not ten seconds later, frantically asking if everything is alright.Â
You sit up straight at the sight of your mother and clear your throat. Youâre thankful for the dark of the room which hides your and Sunghoonâs swollen lips and flushed faces from her view. âSorry, mom, we were just watching a scary movie. Weâre fine.â She sleepily nods and walks back up the stairs, and when sheâs back in her room, Sunghoon and you exchange a look and erupt into another fit of smaller, quieter giggles.Â
That night, after Sunghoonâs gone home, the both of you get yourselves off in your own beds, the strong memory of each otherâs lips and hands bringing you both to your releases. Without even realizing it, you moan out Sunghoonâs name as your orgasm hits. The window from your room doesnât face his; but still, your heart is beating so loudly that youâre afraid the sound might carry from your open window to his. You get up and close it.
--
Now that you and Sunghoon both know you want to kiss each other, you do it everywhere: in his pool, his back pressed against the wall; on the sunchairs when you were supposed to be drying off; on your beds in the middle of the night, none of your parents or siblings suspicious of anything; in front of your house, because even though he was supposed to just walk you home, he couldnât keep himself from tasting you one last time; in the backseat of his car after an evening with your friends and he drove you two home.
You spend a good two weeks of just kissing before your body starts to crave something more. At some point, Sunghoonâs hands resting nicely on your waist or sometimes, if heâs feeling bold, grabbing at your ass, start to not be enough anymore. You knew you wouldnât be satisfied with just kisses and sweet touches when one day, his hands slowly but surely slid up your naked belly before grabbing onto your bikini-clad breast, lighting your whole body up on fire. Heâd slipped his hand underneath your swimming top and rolled your nipple between two fingers and you had felt his dick twitch under your core when you let out a loud moan at the new yet so pleasurable feeling.
You know what it is that you want, but it makes you feel dirty. Your fingers have made you finish a hundred times before, but wanting Sunghoon to make you feel that way is a whole other story. Is that even what he wants? Would he be weirded out if you asked him about it? Is there even the sliver of a chance that maybe, just maybe, he has those same thoughts about you, and wants you to make him feel good as much as he wants to make you feel good?
If his grunts and the way he ruts into you when your make-out sessions get particularly steamy are any indication, then the answer to those questions would respectively be yes, no, and yes.Â
Youâre lying on a sunbed one afternoon, letting the sun dry off your wet skin from the pool, when you finally muster the courage to tell Sunghoon about your wishes. After all, he is your best friend, and you know you can talk to him about anything. Even when that âanythingâ involves his fingers inside of you and his dick in your mouth.
âSunghoon?â you call out, turning your head to look at your best friend. Heâs bathing in the sunlight without a care in the world. His skin has tanned a bit since summer started three weeks ago and his muscles are even more defined after all that swimming and working out heâs been doing. You want to reach out a hand, to feel the taut skin of his abs and chest under your palms, and to maybe then slide your hand down until you feel his hard-on underneath his swimming trunks. Your chairs arenât far apart and you could do it from where you are, but youâd rather ask him first.
âYeah?â he answers without turning towards you.
You take a deep breath in before you start talking again. âYou know how you said it could be good for us to get⊠experience before going to college⊠And how weâve been kissing these past couple weeksâŠâ
âYeah, I know,â he chuckles.
âWell⊠people do more than just kissing, right?â you ask, voice slightly shaky. This seems to pique his interest as he turns to look at you.
âYeah?âÂ
You hope youâre not just imagining the enthusiastic tone in his voice. âI think⊠I think we should try that too, donât you think?â you ask, eyes not leaving his as he sits up on his chair and turns his knees towards you, fully facing you now.
âYeah, I agree. I completely agree.â He stares at you for a few moments as if in disbelief. âDo you want to- Should we- Letâs go up to my room, yeah?â he offers, standing up and reaching his hand out to you. You gladly take it.
You and Sunghoon are a giggling mess as you practically run up the stairs, unable to get to his room quick enough. As soon as the door is closed behind you, you wrap your arms around each other, your lips finding his immediately as he walks you back to his bed. When you feel the back of your knees hit it, you detach yourself from him and lay on it, elbows holding you up as you look up at him expectantly.
âFuck,â he whispers, leaning in to hover over you. He traps your lips in a short but sweet kiss before pulling back and murmuring against your lips, âHave I ever told you how pretty you are, Y/N?â
You beam at his words but decide to tease anyway. âYou always go on and on about how pretty you are, but never about me.â
He giggles and pecks your lips again. âWell, Iâm telling you now. Youâre gorgeous.â You kiss him to hide your flustered face, pulling him so close to you heâs practically laying on top of you. Your hands are a bit more curious than usual, your kisses hungrier, the both of you anticipating whatâs to come.Â
You grind against each other, the feeling of his erection against your barely covered core enough to send your mind into a frenzy. You forget everything around you when you feel Sunghoon pull back in the slightest, far enough so that he can look at your face and gauge your reactions but not too much that you still feel his hot breath on your lips. One of his hands is holding the back of your head as the other travels downwards, stopping for a second on your breast to massage it lightly before continuing its journey. It ever-so-slightly brushes against your core, making you buck your hips up into his touch, but his hand is already gone leaving you whining and pouting and him chuckling at your cute reaction. âYou want it that bad, huh?â he teases.
You scoff, not wanting to let your friend know the effect he has on you. You press your palm against his clothed erection and he hisses at the unexpected contact. âSo do you, Hoon.â
When he presses his lips to yours again, you both smile into the kiss. You cup his jaw and tangle your fingers through his hair, and his hand slips from under your head and joins his other hand on your thigh, grabbing at both of them, fingers slightly digging in your skin. Heâs so, so close to where you want him most, and he seems to have noticed your growing impatience by the way you squirm underneath him. Seeing you so needy for him only makes him needier for you; he has more experience than you, so you probably expect him to take the lead, but the truth is, he has no idea what the fuck heâs doing.
âY/N?â he murmurs, face buried in your neck as he leaves a trail of wet kisses there.
âYeah?â
âWhat do you want me to do?â
The question takes you a bit by surprise. You pull away to look at your friend. His eyes are completely glossed-over, and yours are probably the same. âOh. I donât know. I just⊠want you to touch me, I guess,â you say, voice a bit quiet.
âI donât know how to do that,â he admits sheepishly. He kisses your neck and cheeks before pecking your lips. âCould you- could you show me? How you do it? And I can show you how I do it?â
You take a second to take his words in. Was he suggesting that you touch yourself in front of him, and that he do the same?
This was like a dream come true.
âYeah, sure.â
Sunghoon giggles in response, and you canât help but crack a smile too, even though the idea of getting yourself off in front of your friend, no matter how appealing, is still a bit nerve-wracking. âYou first,â he says, a mischievous glint in his eyes, and you roll your eyes at him.
You sit back against the headboard of the bed and slip a hand underneath your swim bottom, the other hand coming up to cover your eyes in an attempt to escape Sunghoonâs heavy, lustful gaze. âNone of that. I wanna see you,â he says, pulling your hand away from your eyes and resting it on a pillow next to you. âAnd if you keep these on, I wonât be able to see anything,â he says, looking down at your bikini top.
Before you can protest, he comes to sit on his knees in front of you, kissing your neck and letting his hands roam your back. âI wanna see all of you.â Itâs so easy, untying your string bikini, he almost thinks you wore it on purpose for him to take it off. You avoid his gaze as he takes your top off of you, leaving you half-naked in front of him. âSo pretty,â he whispers, and you canât help but look at him, slick pooling between your legs from the fascination heâs looking at your breasts with. He trails kisses down your neck until he reaches them, taking a nipple in his mouth and swirling his tongue around it, then looks up to see your reaction. You never knew your nipples were this sensitive, and you canât help but arch your back at his touch and moan loudly, hand flying up to tug at his soft hair. He releases your nipple with a pop and moves sideways to pay the same attention to the other one, but Sunghoon is impatient and doesnât waste too much time on it; he knows he can come back to your boobs later anyway. Right now, youâve got a hand between your legs, and thatâs what heâs dying to see.
âCan I take this off, too?â he asks, looking up at you as his fingers hook on the sides of your swimming bottoms, waiting for you to nod. His eyes donât leave your glistening core as he pulls the thin fabric down your legs, discarding it somewhere on the floor of his room. He lays on his belly and kisses the inside of your knee as he holds your thighs in his large hands, still transfixed by your pussy when he says, âShow me how you do it, please.â
You both take a sharp breath in when you start moving two fingers in gentle circles over your clit, already wet from making out with Sunghoon. Your fingers are nimble and know exactly what to do after years of doing this, but the pulse in your core is even stronger now that your best friend is watching your movements this intently. He looks like heâs scared to blink in case he might miss something. You canât take your eyes off of his face; youâve never seen him so fascinated by something, so eager to learn. It makes you want to put on a show for him.
A surge of confidence hits you out of nowhere as you slide your digits down your folds, gathering some slick before sliding them back up to your clit and rubbing it a bit faster, a bit harder, your moans growing louder and higher in pitch. With your free hand, you tug at the base of Sunghoonâs hair and make him look up at you. You release his hair and bring your pointer finger up to your mouth, sucking on it and swirling your tongue around it, and Sunghoonâs mind is taken back to that day a couple weeks ago when you had sucked on those lollipops. Oh, how things have changed since then. Not that heâs complaining. âFuck, thatâs hot,â he breathes out, eyes zeroed in on your lips and mouth slightly agape.
You smirk at his reaction, stomach on fire with the feeling of having this kind of power on him. When youâve wet your finger enough, you bring it down to your slit, circling around your hole before entering it, releasing a loud moan for good measure. Sunghoon is mesmerized by the quickening with which your finger slips in and out of you, the fingers on your clit never relenting. He doesnât even realize heâs released one of your thighs to palm himself over his shorts until you notice it yourself and tut in disapproval.
âCome and help me, Hoon,â you say, and the boy snaps out of his daze at the sound of his nickname. He nods slowly, changing his position so that heâs laying between your legs, head dangerously close to your core. You slip your other finger out of your hole and he takes that as a sign to replace it with his own. One hand still gripping your thigh, he imitates your previous actions as he gets his pointer finger wet with his saliva before pressing it between your folds, right underneath your clit where your fingers are still rubbing circles, sliding it down towards your slit, and finally pushing it in.Â
âSo warm⊠So wet, too,â he whispers in wonder, making you cover your eyes with your forearm out of shyness.
âOh my God,â you moan, arching your back and letting your head drop to the side on the pillow. Sunghoonâs finger is much thicker and longer than your own, and it stretches you out and hits a deep spot inside you you never could, no matter how much you tried.
âLike this?â he asks, eyes curious as they bounce back and forth between your face and your entrance sucking his finger in.
âYes, yes, just like that, you can also- oh- you can also curve it upwards a bit- fuck, yeah, just like that, Hoon, youâre doing so well,â you say, the praises just flying out of your mouth.Â
This seems to instill some confidence in him, as he cocks an eyebrow at you and speeds up his actions. âYeah? My finger making you feel good, Y/N?â
âOh, shut up,â you bite back, but immediately let out a long whine when he easily inserts a second finger in your soaking pussy. He curves them inside you just like you told him to, and the feeling of his fingers filling you up and your own quick ones on your clit are creating a familiar knot in your stomach that is so close to breaking. That is, until Sunghoon pulls your wrist away from your clit.
âY/N⊠Can I?â he asks, and youâre not sure what heâs planning, but nod anyway. He wastes no time before pressing his tongue flat down on the sensitive bud, and you actually feel like your soul might leave your body. Fingers knuckle-deep inside you, he licks and sucks at your clit, and the warmth of his tongue against your folds is what makes you tumble over the edge, tightly gripping his hair and bucking your hips into his mouth.
âOh my God⊠Oh my God, Hoon, please, donât stop, please,â you beg, voice getting higher and whinier as you cum all over his tongue. He continues eating you out until it gets too much and you have to tell him to stop. He hikes his body up yours, pecking you sweetly on the lips when he reaches them.
âYour turn,â you announce and hook your legs over his hips to straddle him. Youâre about to lean in for a kiss when you notice how lovingly heâs looking at you: his eyes are soft and a small smile is playing on his lips. It takes you aback, but youâd be lying if you said butterflies didnât spread in your stomach. âW-why are you looking at me like that?â
His grin gets a bit wider. âDid I make you feel good?â
âY-yeahâŠ,â you admit, averting your gaze from him.
âIâm glad. You taste good, by the way. Sweet.â You want to kiss the devilish smirk off of his face.
You scoff at your friend, glaring a bit. âWhatever. Sit up,â you order, but it just makes him smirk more.
âYes, maâam.â
You look up at him to check for confirmation, and when he nods, you hook your fingers under his swimming trunks, taking them off of him along with his boxers underneath. His already fully-hard cock springs free and slaps against his stomach, and you curse yourself for your reaction that will surely just inflate his ego, as if it wasnât already massive. Your mouth hangs open, eyes zeroing in on his length, flushed red from lack of attention and what you can only guess is precum leaking at the tip. It's straight from a porno.
âLike what you see?â Sunghoon teases, making you look up at him, and you can only stupidly nod. You take the position he was in earlier, laying your head on his thigh and caressing the other, letting it ride up to rub his inner thigh and the tiniest bit over his cock, making his smirk vanish as he takes a shaky breath in.
âShow me how you do it,â you say, echoing his words from earlier. He gulps, finally realizing that he was going to have to masturbate in front of your curious eyes just as you had. He spits on his open palm and spreads the precum over his length with his thumb, lubing himself up before gripping the base and starting to move his hand up and down. You watch as his head falls back against the pillow when his palm grazes over his tip and his movements pick up some speed.
You rub his palms over his thighs, itching to get closer to his cock and make him feel as good as he had done to you earlier. Tentatively, you reach out to grab his balls in your hands, massaging them softly, feeling satisfied when a loud moan leaves his throat. âOh, f-fuck, that feels good, Y/N,â he breathes out, voice much higher than youâre used to. If he thought that felt good, then nothing couldâve prepared him for the feeling of your soft and warm tongue kitty-licking his balls, then taking turns sucking each one into your mouth and releasing them with a pop. âWhere the fuck did you learn how to do that?â he asks, involuntarily bucking his hips into your face.
You canât help but giggle, and Sunghoon thinks he might come from the sweet sound contrasted with your lewd actions alone. âI read a lot of fanfiction,â you explain, and he doesnât question it. If Wattpad taught you how to suck dick, then so be it.
You wrap your hand around his and tell him to keep going so you can get an idea of what pace and movements he likes, and you graze your fingernails over his abs and chest with your other hand, chuckling at how sensitive he is when you lightly pinch his nipples. Sunghoon takes his hand off of himself, laying both of his hands palms up next to him on the bed, so you decide to literally take things into your own hands. Trying to recreate what he did before, you spit into your palm and wrap your fingers around his tip, bringing your hand down in a swirly motion to the base of his shaft. You do that a few times, asking, âLike that?â to get confirmation from Sunghoon.
âJust like that, baby,â he says, not even taking notice of the pet name; but you do, and your face immediately flushes, surprised at how much you like it.
âBaby?â you repeat, but heâs too lost in his pleasure and just hums in response. His reaction eggs you on, and you lick a long stripe from his base to his tip, swirling your tongue around it and humming at the bitter but not unpleasant taste of precum there. When another moan escapes his throat, you take his tip in your mouth, at first just shallowly thrusting your head, but then trying to take more and more of him.Â
Youâre so focused on what youâre doing that you donât even realize how quickly heâs panting and how his grunts start to get whinier until heâs moaning out your name. âA-ah, Y/N, feels so good, âm gonna cum, fuck-â
He goes silent as he shoots his release down your throat, eyebrows deeply furrowed and mouth open wide in pleasure. Thereâs so much of it and you canât swallow it all, so you pull your head back, catching your breath, and a hot string of cum hits your chin and your throat. Sunghoon takes a look at you and the sight of you with some of his cum makes his dick twitch before he plops back down on the bed. You giggle as you take tissues from the bedside table (cause of course heâs got tissues next to his bed) and wipe away his seed, then lie down next to him, brushing away the hair thatâs sticking to his forehead with sweat and peppering his face with soft kisses.
He opens his eyes and smiles, turning his head to look at you before engulfing you in a bear hug, sweaty bodies sticking together but neither of you minding it. âThat was so good, Y/N. What the fuck,â he sighs, pecking your forehead.
You hum, nuzzling your nose into his neck. âI know, right? Who knew you could use your mouth for other things than saying stupid shit,â you tease.
He pulls back and gives you a look that tries to be stern, but you know heâs joking. âDo I need to remind you again, young lady?â
You giggle and peck his lips, forcing him out of character as his dimples appear on his cheeks. âLater, definitely.â
And after that day, he makes sure to remind you time and time again of how good his mouth feels on you. You shouldâve seen it coming with how amazing of a kisser he was; but truly, there was nothing like cumming on your friendâs tongue.
--
Youâre relieved to find that not much has changed, after all; you and Sunghoon still play around in the pool, watch stupid movies and hang out with your friends like always. Sure, there are stray hands here and there, or looks that last a little too long and mean a little too much, but if anything, it just makes your friendship more playful and exciting.Â
Youâre both open with what you like and donât like, so it doesnât take either of you to figure out exactly how to make the other come undone embarrassingly quickly. (The shortest amount of time it took him was 2:38 seconds - yes, he timed it - and he hasnât let you live it down since.) You like it when he presses his large hand down onto your lower tummy while he eats you out, or when he sits you between his legs and whispers all sorts of things as his fingers work their magic inside you and on your clit. He likes it when you get down on your knees in front of him and look up at him as you suck him dry, or when you sit in his lap and kiss his neck and play with his hair while he plays video games. And donât even get him started on when you palmed him over his sweatpants while you watched a movie with Chaeyong, Jay and Jake, making sure that the movements under the blanket went unnoticed by them. He wanted to punish you after they left, he really did, but you took him in your mouth right there in the living room and gave him an orgasm that had his thighs shaking for five minutes afterwards. You were pretty proud of yourself for that one.Â
You also find out that he hates it when you tease and edge him, which only makes you do it more; the only problem is that, if you do that, heâll make you ride his thigh and wonât help you at all. His proud smirk and snide praises combined with the feeling of his thick thigh underneath your core were more than enough to get you to your end, though.
And truly, nothing has changed, especially not Sunghoonâs special talent in pushing boys away from you.
âWhat do you mean, Lee Heeseung is coming back?â he heatedly asks, slamming his glass of lemonade down on the outdoor table so hard youâre scared it might break.
âItâs the summer, of course heâs coming back. He just stayed behind for a bit to enjoy a few weeks of the city without college, and now heâs coming back here,â Jake explains, shrugging.
âDo you know when heâll be here?â you ask, far too much excitement in your voice to Sunghoonâs taste.
âJust in a couple days.â
Sunghoon has smoke coming out of his ears when he sees how much you perk up at the news of your old crush being back in town for summer. He likes the boy, but he hates that you like him. And since Heeseung is friends with Jay, Jake, and by association Sunghoon, begrudgingly so, heâll definitely see lots of him in the upcoming months. And if Sunghoon sees Heeseung, then youâll see Heeseung, too. And that, Sunghoon doesnât like.
You notice something is off with him that afternoon because of how uncharacteristically quiet he is. Sunghoon, ever the loud introvert, is always arguing for no reason and laughing louder than everybody around him. So when he merely chuckles at his friendsâ numerous displays of stupidity in the pool and doesnât even say anything in protest to you getting on Jakeâs shoulders to play against Chaeyoung and Jay, you know something is definitely up. You also have a good idea of what that something might be, and youâd be lying if you said you didnât find it endearing.
You stay behind when your friends leave in the early evening. Without a word, you and Sunghoon pack away the inflatable toys in the pool cabin and clean up the table, putting the dirty glasses in the sink. You do the dishes while he prepares sandwiches for the two of you, which he insisted on doing after he heard your stomach grumbling. You watch the latest Kurtis Conner video as you eat and canât help but notice that he doesnât even chuckle at any of the jokes or skits when heâd usually be clutching his stomach in laughter.Â
When youâre done eating, you take a resolute breath and pause the video, but Sunghoon doesnât even notice, only snapping out of his daze when you call out his name.
âHuh?â When his eyes find you, he almost looks surprised to see you, as if heâd forgotten you were there.
âAre you going to tell me whatâs wrong?â you ask, slightly frowning. âYou look so out of it today.â
âHuh? Iâm fine, nothingâs wrong,â he says dismissively and presses play, but you quickly pause the video again.
âIâm your best friend, Sunghoon, I know when somethingâs the matter and I know when youâre lying. We donât have to talk about it if you donât want to, but donât pretend everythingâs fine when we both know thatâs not true.â
He peers at you for a moment, cursing you for knowing him so well. He crosses his arm and averts his gaze, pouting like an angry child. âI hate it when youâre right.â
You giggle and make your way around the counter to him, standing inbetween his legs and wrapping your arms around his neck to make him look up at you. His hands come naturally up to your waist. âI justâŠâ he starts, then immediately stops himself with a sigh., âYouâve always had a crush on Heeseung. But these are our last couple months together, and I donât want somebody else taking up your attentionâŠâ
He buries his face between your breasts to hide his blush, and you canât help but giggle again. âStop laughing at me!â he protests, but the muffled sound of his voice just makes you laugh more. You stroke his hair and press a gentle kiss at the top of his head.
âSure, Iâm happy Heeseungâs coming back. But thereâs no one Iâd rather spend my summer with than you, Sunghoon, you should know that.â He leans back to look up at you with puppy eyes and a small pout. You cup his face, admiring how cute he looks like this, and smile softly down at him.
âReally?â
âReally,â you answer, and he leans in for a kiss.
Itâs a soft one. Itâs a patient kiss, neither of you urging to get somewhere else, to do something more. It reminds you of that kiss in his room a few weeks ago, when you were still curious and discovering each other. From then on, your kisses had become more feverish, more eager, more playful. But now, youâre taking your time. For now at least, neither of you is going anywhere. So your lips melt together slowly, and when you take breaks to breathe, you look each other in the eyes and smile before leaning back in.
Itâs when you sigh against his lips, eyes still closed as you pull away, that it hits him. I could do this forever, he thinks.
I could sit here with my arms around her waist and her lips against mine and the smell of chlorine and the sound of her laugh forever and Iâd never get tired of it, he thinks, but immediately afterwards, he realizes he wonât get to do this forever. Summer will end, youâll both head off to college, and youâll only get to see each other every few months until another summer comes. And who knows what might happen until then?
You might meet someone and realize Sunghoon isnât all that; hell, he might meet someone, but he highly doubts anyone could even come close to the way you make him feel.
âHello? Earth to Sunghoon?â you quietly joke, looking down at him with an affectionate look in your eyes. You press the pads of your fingers to his two moles before replacing your fingers with your lips, giving each one a quick peck. âYou were up on the moon for a minute there.â
Sunghoon hums softly, smiling as he lets himself melt under your touch. âSorry. Itâs just really hot, isnât it?â he says, a stupid excuse he uses as a blanket to cover his feelings. There is some sweat beading at his hairline, which helps make his lie more believable, but you donât need to know itâs not just because of the summer heat.
Slowly, your smile turns mischievous, and Sunghoon can tell you have an idea in mind. âIt is pretty hot⊠Wait here.â
He watches as you fill a tall glass with ice from the dispenser in the fridge and pop an ice cube in your mouth, a devilish smile on your face, and laughs when that smile is replaced with a frown as the coldness hits you and you spit it back into the glass, laughing along with him. âWhat the hell are you doing?â he asks between giggles.
âI got the idea a few days ago when we were having popsiclesâŠ,â you say looking down at the glass between your hands, slightly embarrassed. âYou kissed me and your mouth was really cold but it felt nice.â Sunghoon hums, egging you to go on. You lift the glass up to his cheeks, applying just a bit of pressure to the soft skin. âI thought this could be refreshing.âÂ
You take the ice cube back in your mouth, sucking on it but not letting it melt completely before pressing your lips against Sunghoonâs and opening your mouth just a bit so he could feel the cold of the ice cube. You feel his smile into the kiss as the ice cube swirls between your tongues, sending shivers down your spine.Â
âVery refreshing indeed,â he murmurs when the ice has completely melted. He gets up and takes the glass in one of his hands, leaning down to your level and says âCâmonâ with the same mischievous smile as you on his face.
You two hurry up the stairs, and when you get to his room, he hands you the glass before throwing himself on his back, laying on his back with his hands behind his head. âShow me what you had in mind.â
You straddle his hips and take an ice cube from the glass, rubbing it over his lips before pushing it inside his mouth, the cold making him hiss. You quickly counteract that by pressing your lips to his, the contrast of your warm tongue and the freezing ice turning him on more than he wouldâve thought.
When the ice has melted, you take another piece and brush it along his jaw, down his Adamâs apple and around his nipples. The cold temperature makes him squirm but he doesnât shy away from it, even closing his eyes to focus solely on the feeling. While you play with the ice cube, you also leave warm kisses all over his skin, reveling in its slightly salty taste from the thin layer of sweat. You let the ice cube melt between his abs and watch him wriggle as he sucks in a sharp breath, then grab another one, starting off where the previous one stopped. You circle his navel while your fingers play with the hem of his swimming trunks. He pulls them down himself and you chuckle at his eagerness. âI shouldâve known you liked the cold, with all those years of ice skating you did,â you tease. Â
Heâs almost fully hard, and it only takes a few kisses and trailing the ice cube down his inner thighs to have his dick fully erect. Heâd only been letting out small sighs and hisses until now, but when you grab another ice cube and circle it around his sensitive tip, he throws his head back into the pillows and moans loudly. You push your luck and drag the ice cube down his shaft, his thighs snapping together when it reaches his balls. You put it in your mouth and let it melt so that your tongue is still cold when you swirl it around his tip, already tasting precum there. But before you can take him further in your mouth, he calls out your name.
âWait. I donât wanna cum just yet. My turn.â
He shakes his shoulders in excitement as you switch positions, you taking your t-shirt and bikini top off and laying on your back and him sitting down with one knee on each side of your thighs, an ice cube in his hand and a giddy smile on his face.
He brushes it over your lips before pushing it just a bit into your mouth, holding onto it with two fingers while you suck on it, gazes locked in each other. Just as you did earlier, he trails it down your throat and your chest until they reach your nipples, marveling at the thin wet trail it leaves in its wake. He licks this trail as he circles one of your nipples with the ice cube, and you donât know if you should focus on his warm tongue or on the cold ice cube. Once itâs melted, he takes another one and circles your other nipple with it, his mouth coming to wrap around the now cold one. Your hands fly up to grab at his hair, your back arching into his touch as you moan and pant loudly.
He sucks and licks at your nipples until youâre calling out his name, begging for more. As nice as his mouth or an ice cube around your nipples feel, your pussy is throbbing and desperate for attention. âSunghoon⊠Please,â you whine.
âPlease what?â he teases, looking up from your breasts with a smirk.
You whine again, knowing he knows full well what you want. âPleaseâŠâ
He trails the ice cube down your stomach, circling your navel a few times where it melts before slipping two cold fingers underneath your bikini bottoms. âIs this what you want, baby?,â he asks as he rubs his fingers between his folds, and you whine at the feeling of having him so close to your hole and to your clit but not quite there either. He smirks when you nod frantically but whine at the loss of his fingers against you as he takes your bottoms off and reaches for another ice cube.
You release a loud moan and arch your back off the bed when the ice cube touches your clit. âFuck, Hoon!â
He rubs the ice cube up and down your folds, your heat melting it much faster than your skin. He takes another one and brings it to your entrance this time, circling around it before pushing the ice cube in and staring with wonder as it melts quickly. He holds your hips down so you stop bucking them up, whimpering at the amazing feeling of the ice against you. He replaces the ice cube with his fingers inside of you and his tongue on your clit, sucking expertly at the sensitive bud and lapping at your juices. And while it feels good - God, does it feel good - and you let Sunghoon know just how nice it feels with your moans, whispers of his names and the way you hold onto his hair, youâre craving something more.
Itâs something youâve been wanting for the past few days, but you couldnât quite put your finger on it. No matter how nice Sunghoonâs fingers and mouth felt, they didnât make you feel close to him enough. You wanted to be so close to him you didnât know where you ended and where he started; you wanted to feel him.Â
You pull him up by the face, asking him to come here and getting lost in his lips as soon as they reach your level. God, Sunghoonâs kisses. You could drown in them. But still, that craving, that need for more. And now that his body is pressed up against yours and you can feel his erection against your thigh, so close to your core, you think you know what it is that you want. âHmm, pleaseâŠâ
âYou keep asking me for something, but you donât tell me what it is.â
âYou. I want you, Hoon, please,â you beg, murmuring against his lips as you wrap your legs around his hips and bring him even closer, his cock now pressing against your cunt.
âM-me?,â he asks, leaning back just a bit, but you pull him back in right away, resting his forehead against yours.
âYes, please. I need to feel you inside me.â
Your words are enough to get a moan out of Sunghoon. âFuck, you have no idea how long Iâve been waiting for this,â he pants, planting kisses all over your face and neck. Usually, youâd giggle at the ticklish sensation, but right now, youâre so drunk on pleasure, it just makes your breath even shallower and your core wetter.
âHow long?â
âGod. Since the second time we kissed probably,â he replies, reaching for a condom in the drawer of his bedside table. You think back to that moment six weeks ago (how has it been six weeks already?, you think), after you and Sunghoon had made up and made out on his couch in front of a horror movie. Heâd wanted you for that long? And heâd waited for you to say something since then?
âTodayâs your lucky day, then,â you tease in an attempt to alleviate the need for him that takes over your bones, but his gaze when he looks back at you ruins any effort. If anything, it just makes you need him even more. You feel like you might explode if you donât have him right now.
You watch as he clumsily wraps the condom around his member, clearly never having done this before, but you wouldnât be of any help, so you let him figure it out on his own. You let your head fall back as he rubs his tip up and down your folds, gathering your slick on his dick before aligning himself at your entrance and giving you a long, deep kiss.
âAre you sure about this?â he asks, forehead on yours.
âYeah. Are you?â
âYeah, I am. But Iâm also scared.â
âScared of what, Hoon?â you ask, opening your eyes to look at him. You caress his cheek and cup his face in your hands, watching softly as he lets his head rest on your palm.
âIâm scared of hurting you. I heard it hurts the first time. And Iâm scaredâŠâ he closes his eyes and frowns a bit. âIâm scared itâll feel too good. That Iâll always want it. You.â
You take a small moment to think, your thumb brushing over his cheek in what you hope is a comforting manner. âYou wonât hurt me, Hoon. It only hurts if youâre not ready⊠And Iâm plenty ready. I know youâll take it slow.â You smile softly when he nods, turning his head to kiss your palm. But if sex is as good as youâve heard it is, youâre also scared that it might be the best thing youâve ever experienced and that youâll never get enough. You and Sunghoon have been meeting up almost everyday this summer and it has more often than not ended up with one of you between the otherâs legs; you could never get bored of the things he made you feel or of knowing you were making him feel those exact same things. If you couldnât live without his fingers, how could you live without his dick?
How could you live without him?
You tried to snap out of those thoughts, reassuring yourself that even before all of this you couldnât imagine yourself living without Sunghoon, and that there was no reason this should change anything. âAnd donât be scared of that, silly,â you say, making him smile. âIâll always be here, Sunghoon. Iâll always want you, too.âÂ
âFuck, okay,â he whispers, kissing your lips once before pulling himself up on his palms, hovering over you. âTell me if you need me to stop, yeah?â he asks and waits for you to nod before finally pushing in.
You instantly moan when you feel his tip inside you, and Sunghoon stops, frantically asking if youâre okay. It takes some convincing to get him to push himself further in. âIt feels so good, Hoon. Please keep going.â
You tell him to not stop until heâs fully inside you, and he obeys, even though he wants to stop when he sees your frown and your sharp intakes of breath. When heâs buried to a hilt, he canât help but collapse on top of you, burying his face in your neck and wrapping his arms tightly around your waist. âY/N,â he drawls out. âFeels so fucking good. So tight,â he murmurs against your neck.
âMmh. Give me a minute, baby.â Your hands caress up and down the expanse of his back and you feel him relax on top of you. As you adjust around his length, the stretch starts to feel more and more pleasurable, until pleasure is the only thing you feel. âHoon?â
âYeah?â he says, kissing and nibbling softly at your neck and earlobe.
âYou can move, now.â
Sunghoon doesnât need to be told twice and ever-so-slowly slides out of you, leaving only the tip in before he slides back in. His thrusts are slow but deep, and itâs everything youâve ever wanted and more. Heâs barely started but youâre both already whimpering messes, holding onto each other tightly as pleasure like neither of you has felt before takes over your entire bodies.
As you both get more comfortable, his pace picks up just a tiny bit and you tentatively raise your legs higher so that theyâre hooked around the back of his knees instead of laying on the bed. The new angle only adds to the intense pleasure, but you donât even realize youâre crying until Sunghoon stops mid-thrust, wiping your tears with his thumb and worryingly asking if youâre okay and if it hurts and if he should stop. You open your eyes and smile, instantly calming his nerves. You bring his head closer to yours and kiss him like youâd stop breathing if you didnât. âIt feels so fucking good, Hoon. So, so good.â
He sighs out of relief and resumes his actions, heart swelling with pride that heâs making you feel so good, youâre crying. Heâs always hated seeing you cry or hurt in general; but knowing what kind of tears these are, he thinks you look so pretty with tears streaming down your face. His hands grip your thighs a bit tighter as he quickens his pace, already addicted to the feeling of your warm walls taking him in so well.
He slips out a few times but youâre always quick to guide him back inside you. He lifts his body up a bit to get a deeper angle, hoping itâll get him to stop slipping out, and heâs blown away by the sight underneath him. He thinks youâve never looked so gorgeous as you do now, legs spread wide for him, cheeks flushed, brows furrowed and mouth agape for him. He kisses your tears, the salty taste bringing a smile to his lips. âSo perfect,â he whispers against your mouth. âYou look so beautiful.â
Sunghoon takes your legs and wraps them higher around his hips, the new angle hitting a spot inside you thatâs making you see stars and has you moaning his name like itâs the only thing you know how to say. You feel that familiar tension build up inside your stomach much faster and much stronger than it usually does.
âFuck, Sunghoon, Iâm gonna cum,â you warn, and a harsher thrust inside you is what pushes you over the edge, the sensation crashing into you and making your thighs shake. An orgasm has never hit you this hard before.
Youâre clenching around him like crazy and Sunghoon gasps as you milk him dry, his own orgasm hitting him all at once. He shoots his release inside the condom and stills inside you, breath completely taken away by the sudden, overwhelming sensation.
He lays on top of you for a moment as you both catch your breaths, trying to make sense of how something can feel this good without killing you instantly. He apologizes when his pulling out makes you wince and kisses the top of your head. He rolls onto his back, pulling you with him so that youâre now almost lying on top of him, head against his chest as his arms wrap themselves around you. You leave kisses all over his chest and neck and his hands caress your back.
âThat was amazing.â
âI know, right?â he responds immediately, his enthusiasm making you laugh.
âThanks, Hoon,â you say timidly, voice muffled against his skin.
âFor what?â
âFor making me feel this good.â
He chuckles. âNo need to thank me, pretty. If anything, I should thank you for letting me make you feel good, and on top of that making me feel good.â
You hum at his words and you both stay there for a bit longer, enjoying each otherâs warmth. Something blooms inside your chest, and you donât know whether to let it grow or to squash it down. It feels nice, almost too nice, and youâre scared it might get ripped away from you and it wonât feel so nice then.
Friendship, sex, love. In those weeks spent with Sunghoon, those previously clear lines have blurred to a point they were all one big messy ball of feelings and not three distinct things you could tell apart. Has sex turned your friendship with Sunghoon into something romantic? Or is that just an illusion, and being so intimate with your best friend has messed up your once platonic vision of him? But was your vision of him ever platonic?
Haven't the two of you always been teased about liking each other for a reason? After all, you and Sunghoon didn't grow up together, and heâs never felt like a brother to you. He has always been your male friend; youâve always been aware that he was your friend who was also a boy. When you'd moved in the house next to his, you hadnât instantly clicked; it took a while for the ice skating prodigy to warm up to you, but his parents had warmly welcomed yours into the neighborhood and quickly became friends, so it was only a matter of time before heâd open up to the idea of you being around. Constantly.
Youâd walk to and from school together, do homework together, go on family trips together, cheer each other on at your respective competitions. After his ice skating lessons, when his coach let him have the whole place to himself for a bit more practice, heâd tie your ice skates for you and drag you onto the ice rink, holding you by the waist or shoulders as he skated backwards in front of you, but also laughing at you when you inevitably fell. Heâd tease you for getting second place at the science fair or for getting your arguments torn apart during Model United Nations, but the way heâd be a little nicer to you or share his food more often that week wouldnât escape you.
Being a handsome young ice skater, Sunghoon had developed quite the loyal following of boys and girls alike who would come to see him at his competitions. He thrived off of the attention, but no matter how much he enjoyed his fansâ admiration, you were always the one heâd skate to after having won first place, hugging you tightly over the barrier separating the ice from the bleachers. Especially during your younger teen years, Sunghoon wasnât one for skinship or PDA, so it always meant that much more to you that even after his most important wins, you were the first thing on his mind. It never failed to make your stomach flip, and all the death stares from his fans in the world couldnât have changed a thing.
You were already close, but you became practically inseparable after Sunghoonâs injury. During the competition that would have gotten him a place at the Youth Winter Olympics had he won, his nerves got the best of him and he didnât land his triple axel, hurting his ankle in the process. Ten years of dedication and hard work, ruined in mere seconds. To say that it destroyed him would be an understatement.
You were the one to bring him back up. You listened to him when he needed to vent, held him when he needed a shoulder to cry on, cheered him up when he needed to smile. He didnât even need to tell you what he needed, you seemed to just know. You reminded him that he had a lot more value than his medals and trophies and that he didnât need them to be complete. His family and friends tried their best to make him feel better, but their words never reached him quite like yours did.
Slowly but surely, his confidence came back. Heâd lost his fans, but heâd gained a friend he knew would always be there for him. His dimples would appear more often, his laugh would resonate louder. His injury had made the two of you grow closer, creating a bond that would only strengthen over time.
And yet there were moments when being friends wasnât enough. When calling him your best friend didnât feel right. You had other friends, friends you were close to; sure, maybe not as close as to Sunghoon, but close nonetheless. And you didnât feel that way around them.
Their laugh didnât make your heart skip a beat. You didnât want to bury your face in their necks and breathe in their scent when they hugged you. You didnât want to know every single detail of their day. And you surely didnât feel a pang of jealousy in your chest when they danced with another girl at your school ball.
You also didnât crave their lips on yours every single day since it had happened for the first time and didnât want to see what they sounded or looked like while getting the life sucked out of them through their dick.
Everybody told you it was obvious you were âmore than friends.â Why did romantic love have to be âmoreâ than platonic love? Why were there levels to it? You didnât like the idea of taking your relationship with Sunghoon âone step furtherâ; that wasnât the way it felt to you. Rather, it felt like having to change everything you knew and create something new. Something where you could see him laugh and tell him about your day, but where you could also kiss him and graze his skin with your fingertips. Something that only you could share with him and only he could share with you. But you were afraid the friendship would fall apart if things didn't work out. So, instead of taking the risk of changing everything, you made sure things would stay the same. Youâd tell the butterflies raging in your stomach to settle down and you wouldnât let yourself fall into his touch in case itâd be like falling from the highest mountain.
That is, until he kissed you. Until this moment, right now, lying in his arms, ear right over his heart so you can hear it beat for you. You look up at him. His eyes are closed and a soft smile rests on his lips. He looks so peaceful. He always looks pleased when youâve just been together, but right now, he seems to be in such a serene state, it almost makes you laugh.
Now that youâve given in to your feelings, youâve realized just how strong they were this whole time. Nothing has ever felt better than being in Sunghoonâs arms, than being able to see him at his most vulnerable state and to give all of you to him. All those things you didnât know about him just six weeks ago, you know them by heart now. Youâre sure thereâs other things to find out, and youâll make sure you will.
But summer wonât last forever.
A wave of sadness slaps you right in the face, bringing you back to reality. Thereâll come a time where you and Sunghoon wonât be able to lounge around all day or lazily make-out at your will. Youâll go your own ways and not see each other for months at a time. The thought of that is unbearable, and you feel like looking at Sunghoon for a second longer might rip your heart into a million pieces.
When you sit up, tearing yourself away from his grip, he immediately opens his eyes, asking whatâs wrong.
âJust need to go to the bathroom. I heard you can get STIs from not peeing after sex,â you half-lie. He nods and falls back into the bed.Â
You rush to the toilet, needing to get far away from Sunghoon as quickly as possible. Even your pee smells different - guess thatâs what having a dick inside you will do to you. You wash your hands and look in the mirror: your skin is darker in some spots, surely Sunghoonâs work. So not only did he mess with your thoughts, he also had to make your body all weird, too?
You splash your face with cold water, hoping it will bring you back to your senses. You and Sunghoon have been best friends for years. Thereâs no point in changing all of that now, is there? Youâll be leaving soon enough, anyway. Why ruin a perfectly fine friendship for a summer fling?
Those are your thoughts as you head back to Sunghoonâs bedroom, ready to tell him that this whole thing was a mistake and you should just pretend it never happened. But your resolve crumbles at your feet as soon as you step inside the room.
Sunghoonâs got a couple of snacks ready as he browses through Netflix in search of an appropriate movie. âHow about Twilight?â he says when he feels the bed dip under your weight next to him. He kisses your forehead and pulls you down on the bed with him so that youâre lying back against his chest.
Screw it, you think. Whatever this is, itâs much more than a summer fling.
--
The rest of the summer goes by in a flash. No, you donât try to make Sunghoon jealous by flirting with Heeseung; if the mention of the latterâs name was enough to get your friend mad, then purposefully twirling your hair or batting your eyelashes at the older boy just might make Sunghoon white-boy-punch a hole into a wall. And itâs not like Heeseung would try coming onto you, either, with how clingy Sunghoon gets when heâs around, always an arm around your waist and a glare that could kill Heeseung.
Sunghoon gradually opens up to Heeseung being around, even though it takes you reminding him almost daily that heâs the one whose arms you wanna end up in over anybodyâs. After a couple weeks, Sunghoon stops looking like he's on the brink of starting a fight every time Heeseung so much as talks to you or hands you a glass of lemonade, and finally relaxes around him.
You spend countless sleepless nights with Sunghoon. Youâve probably memorized every single one of his moles by now, and youâve made sure to kiss all of them. He holds you against him like he might lose you at any given moment. The only nights you donât fall asleep in each otherâs embrace are when either one of you is sleeping over at your friendâs house. On those nights, sleep always takes hours before washing over you, the lack of warmth keeping you awake.
Your friends and you spend entire days at the lake or by Sunghoonâs pool, not a care in the world. You rest your head on Sunghoonâs shoulder as you watch the fireworks Jake and Jay bought go off. Sunghoon grills your marshmallows for you, blowing on them so they cool down before handing you the stick. You try to ignore how the night air gets slightly chillier and how the sun sets slightly earlier, but by the last days of August, it becomes too noticeable. When September rolls around, youâre sure thereâs a small crack in your heart.
You know Sunghoon feels the end of summer too. His kisses are deeper and his lips linger over yours a second longer. He frowns when he kisses you and hugs you, like heâs trying to remember what it feels like. His usual playful demeanor when youâre in bed together is gone, instead seemingly hellbent on making you feel good and almost begging you to say his name. As if you could say any other name. As if you could say anything else.
Neither of you mention your departure until the night before you leave. After spending the evening with your friends, you lie together in bed, the side of your face resting against his chest so you can feel his heart against your ear. Heâs tracing patterns with his fingertips on your back, and it takes you a while to figure out heâs spelling his name over and over again, as if to etch it in your skin. When, once in a while, he takes his hand off of you to reach for his phone, you can still feel his fingers caressing you, ghostlike against your skin.
The air around you feels heavy, pressing the both of you down into the mattress. You wish the bed would eat you alive so you could stay there, warm against each other, as long as you like. You know you canât leave without talking first, but the words wonât come to you. Instead, they float around the bed, weighing your heart down into your stomach.
âSo,â you start. You're unsure what to say, but you know this conversation has to happen, one way or another. In the end, you settle on, âExcited to leave?â
Sunghoon scoffs lightly, his motions on your back coming to a stop. âNot really, no. Itâs not like Iâm leaving that far, and half of our school is going to our uni.â
âMaybe, but thereâll be tons of other people. Tons of other girls, too,â you add after a short pause.
âDonât do this, Y/N, please.â
You sit up at his words. He covers his eyes with his forearm and takes a deep breath in, sensing an incoming argument. âDo what?â
âThis. Getting mad at me when I havenât done anything.â
âIâm not mad at you,â you protest, frowning down at him.
âNo? Then whatâs this?â he says, smoothing down the lines between your eyebrows and on your forehead with the pad of a finger.
âWhatever.â You nudge your head away from his touch. It burns. âItâs not like Iâm wrong, anyway. Youâre gonna have a bunch of girls at your feet, and youâll know what to do with them, right? Now that youâre not a virgin?â you question, avoiding his gaze.
âY/NâŠâ he sighs, shutting his eyes tighter as if in pain.
âWhat? This was the whole reason why, right? Get experience with me so you could fuck girls better, no?â
âY/N!â he says, raising his voice enough to let you know heâs upset but not enough to scare you. He sits up, looking at you with hurt and disbelief in his eyes. âWhatâs this all of a sudden? Itâs not like I forced you into this! We agreed on it together!â
âSo you agree? That this summer was just about getting experience and now youâll use it on other girls and pretend like we,â you gesture between the two of you, ânever happened?â
âWhat do you mean âagreeâ? I never said any of this! Donât put words into my mouth!â
He watches as you get up from the bed, arms crossed and pacing his room. He calls out to you a few times, but you donât stop to look at him until he speaks your name with a sternness youâve never heard before from him. âWhat?â you snap.
âI donât get why youâre acting like this out of nowhere! We both knew summer was gonna end at some point, and why we were doing this! Why are you blaming me now?â
âBecause⊠becauseâŠâ you sigh, scrambling for an excuse. Why were you doing this? The thought of Sunghoon doing what he did to you to another girl, making her feel as good as he had made you feel, kissing her like he had kissed you, made you sick. It made you see red, it made you want to make him wear a shirt with your face on it so everybody knew he was yours.
Sunghoon gets up and stands close in front of you, too close. You close your eyes. If you see his moles, you might reach out to touch them and let yourself fall even more. If you fall, youâll need to get up, but his scent makes your knees weak.
His hands find your face, holding a little too gently, you think. Your small ones wrap around his wrists and grip them, a little too harshly, he thinks.Â
You take a step back and finally look into his eyes. Thereâs hope in them; hope youâll say what he wants, what he needs to hear. That you want him like he wants you. That you wish summer wasnât over. That youâll keep him in your heart until you can see him again. So, when what you say next is none of the above, he feels his heart sink down to his feet, leaving a murky puddle there.
âI canât do this.â
You rush out of the room, practically running home. You fight your tears back until you slam your bedroom behind you, pathetically sinking to the ground as you let out a loud sob. You don't have the energy to get up, and cry into your hoodie's sleeve right there on the floor.
When youâve calmed down a bit, you get up and lay in your bed, hiding your whole body underneath the covers. Maybe this is for the best, you think. If you end it like this, you wonât have the knowledge of whether heâll wait to have you back or heâll move on like nothing happened. That way, you can do whatever you want, not caring about what heâs up to.Â
But even now, your hands subconsciously reach out towards a person thatâs not there and your feet hang over the edge of your bed as though to get up and run to him anytime. You curl in on yourself to stop your body from aching for him. It doesnât work very well.
Sunghoon stays where you left him for a few minutes, too stunned to move. Should he run after you? Should he let you cool off for a bit and talk to you in the morning? Would you be mad at him if he didnât try to see you now or would the mere sight of him just make you angrier? He plops down on his bed as these questions run through his mind, butting into each other and making everything more confusing.Â
He thinks back on everything that led to this, and his mind settles on that day a few days after graduation where his thoughts had dropped to the lowest pits of hell. If only you hadnât brought those two damned lollipops.
--
The next morning, Sunghoon wakes up as if somebody had slapped him awake. He doesnât bother to brush his teeth or eat anything before running over to your house, almost forgetting to put shoes on. He finds you in your room, packing the last of your things into an already full suitcase. He stands at your door, panting as his hands rest on his knees.
âYou havenât left yet. Thank God.â
âGod, Hoon. Itâs not that far between your house and mine. How are you so out of breath,â you say, glancing at him from the corner of your eye.
He walks to you and kneels in front of you, taking you in his arms before you can say anything. âTalk to me, please. Donât leave like this. Iâd never forgive myself if you left and you were mad at me, Y/N.â
You thought youâd cried so much last night that there was not a single drop of water left in your body, but you thought wrong. Your eyes immediately well up at his words, and he leans back when he hears a soft sniffle escaping you. Only then does he notice how puffy your eyes from all your crying.
âNo, no⊠Have you been crying? Iâm so sorry, pretty, please donât cry,â he pouts, pulling you back into his embrace. It hasnât even been half a day, but you missed his warmth so much, it only makes you cry harder.
After sobbing against his chest, possibly staining his shirt in the process, you pull away and in your light-headed, dehydrated state, spill your heart out. âItâs so stupid,â you sob. âWeâre not gonna see each other for months and Iâm gonna miss you so much and I donât want you to be with other girls. I want you all to myself and I donât want to be your friend that you fucked for a summer just so you could get experience, it was a stupid idea in the first place, if you wanted to kiss me, you shouldâve just kissed me. But you didnât just kiss me and now Iâm scared that this all meant nothing to you but everything to me and that I donât want to be friends anymore but you do and Iâm mad that it took me all summer to say this even though Iâve known it for years but I didnât want to admit it to myself but also you didnât say anything and Iâm mad about that too. Because thereâs no way you donât feel like I do but maybe you actually donât and-â
Whatever you were about to say dies out against Sunghoonâs lips as he presses his lips to yours, interrupting your rambling. He pulls away, looking at you with a huge, stupid grin. Heâs so stupid, you think. I love him so much.
âFucking hell, Y/N. Iâve been waiting for you to say this so bad, you have no idea.â
You punch his chest, frowning at him. Those stupid tears wonât stop. Everything is so stupid. âThen why didnât you say it first?â
âBecause I didnât know how to. You know Iâm bad with words. And I was scared itâd make things weird.â
âI donât want things to be weird,â you pout.
âI donât want things to be weird, either. I want things to be nice and happy.â
You giggle. âThatâs so stupid.â
âRight? Itâs so stupid,â he repeats, kissing you again.
âYour breath smells,â you complain when he pulls away.
âAnd you have tears on your lips. Tastes salty,â he teases.
âYeah, thanks to who?â
âSorry.â He smiles and kisses you again. He holds you against him for a while, enjoying this last moment together. As long as he can see a smile on your face before you leave, heâll be fine.
âIâm gonna miss you so much too, Y/N. And forget about those non-existent girls. Thereâs no one Iâd rather be with than you.â
âHow do you know? You havenât met any of them yet,â you say, voice muffled against his t-shirt.
âIâve met other girls before. None of them compare to you,â he says, and you immediately gag at how clichĂ© it sounds. âWhat?! Itâs true,â he giggles.
âYouâre not gonna go and date a random guy, are you?â
âOf course not. None of them compare to you,â you say, lowering your voice to imitate his.
He helps you finish packing, and when youâre done, you lay together on your bed, not saying much because not much needs to be said. Your parents struggle to tear you away from each other and from your bed when itâs time to leave. He helps your dad put your baggage in the trunk of his car, telling you to not lift a finger so you watch him go to and from the car, leaving a kiss on your forehead every time he walks past you. You notice with a smile that he doesnât carry much at once, making him have to go back-and-forth quite often.
After saying goodbye to your family, your dad waits in the car as you and Sunghoon hang back awkwardly, kicking small pebbles on the pavement. He takes your hand in his, making you look up at him, then takes the other hand, then hugs you close to him.
âIâm gonna miss you,â you say, as if that wasnât obvious. Youâre trying hard to fight tears from falling again, but itâs like thereâs an ocean behind your eyes, water somehow never running out.Â
âI already miss you,â he says, and thatâs enough to get you to sob again, which makes him start crying too. Youâre crying, heâs crying, your mom is crying from the porch as she watches the two of you, itâs a mess.
You force yourself away from him, cupping his face in your hands. âWeâll see each other soon, okay? And college will be fun. You wonât even have time to miss me. But make time to think about me, yeah? And text me.â
âI will. Iâll think about you all the time, I already do,â he says.
âOkay,â you whisper and hug him one last time, very briefly, pressing a kiss to his cheek. Youâre about to walk away but he doesnât let go of your hand and pulls on your arm to bring you back to him.
Pressing his forehead against yours, he whispers, âI love you,â and you sob.
âI love you, too.â
This time, when you walk away, he lets you go. He watches as you get into the passengerâs seat and as the car drives away, as it takes you away from him. You watch him stand there in the rearview mirror, until his silhouette becomes smaller, and smaller, and smaller, until you canât see him at all anymore.
--
Summer went and fall came as they do every year. Dead leaves are falling but itâs a new start for you. Itâs a new town and you donât know anybody, but you click instantly with your roommate and make new friends throughout your first week there. You realize everybodyâs in the same boat, and theyâre all eager to meet people and are curious about college life. You love your classes but complain about them nonetheless. You eat more ramen than youâd like to admit and turn up hungover at a 9 am class on a Thursday. You pull all-nighters at the library and develop a caffeine dependency. Youâre a college student.
You and Sunghoon were very dramatic when you left, you soon realize. You call almost everyday. Heâs not there with you and you miss him but at least you donât have to pretend youâre not stupidly in love with him anymore. Because itâs stupid, being in love, it really is. You wouldnât trade it for the world.
Your first semester passes by almost too quickly, and before you know it, youâre on the drive home, already one eighth of the way through university. Youâre excited to go home, but Sunghoonâs finals last a week longer so you wait around for him. When you complain about it, Chaeyoung tells you to get a grip. âYou havenât seen him in three months, Iâm sure you can handle another week.â
And you can, but barely. You were about to explode but then heâs back and youâre in his arms and his hair is still so soft, his scent is still so comforting and his moles are still there. You kiss them both before you finally press your lips to his, and it makes you feel so alive, you could die right then and there.
You lie on his bed and talk for hours as if you didnât keep in touch the whole time and itâs like you never left. Itâs like summer never ended and youâve just been lying in his bed the whole time, college just one big fever dream.Â
But his skin doesnât smell like chlorine anymore, and heâs not in his swimming trunks. Itâs fall, almost winter, and youâre kissing Park Sunghoon. You realize you can kiss him whatever the season and you find comfort in that. It was a big day (you cried a lot when you saw him) and youâre tired so you think youâll kiss for a bit and thatâll be all but then he whispers âI missed you so muchâ against your neck and a fire lights inside your stomach. Oh, how it burns. You think it might consume you whole, but you donât dislike that idea.
In a flash, youâre on top of him, his shirt is off, your shirt is off, but itâs not enough so you take your pants off too and Sunghoon is confused as to why youâre going so fast, but follows you anyway. âWhatâs going on?â he asks when youâre done with the taking off of your clothes and have moved on to kissing and biting at his neck like itâs your first meal in ages, because it is.
âI missed you too,â you simply answer, and he smirks as he nods slowly, now understanding your eagerness.
âMissed me that much, huh?â he teases, letting his head fall back against the pillow so you have better access to his neck.
âShut up. Kiss me,â you order, and he doesnât need to be told twice. Your kisses are ravenous and desperate, very fitting for two horny people in love who havenât seen each other in months. But the pulse in your core makes you too impatient to stay anywhere for too long, and really, itâs not your fault if youâre grinding down onto Sunghoonâs clothed erection, itâs just that he smells too good and you missed him too much.
Sunghoon laughs at you for being so impatient to hide just how impatient he is. His giggles keep him from moaning loudly enough to wake the whole house, and you laugh as you tell him to stop laughing.
âIâm serious. I missed you so much. Need you so bad,â you say as you get rid of your underwear and quickly do the same for his. He gasps when he feels you take his dick in your hand and brush its tip between your folds, both out of pleasure and out of surprise.
âShouldnât I get you ready? Stretch you out a bit?â he asks, his hands roaming up and down your back as he sits up on the bed so that youâre straddling his lap, and you shake your head no. Youâre probably already embarrassingly wet from your short makeout session, anyway.
âI donât care if it hurts,â you say, lining his tip with your entrance. âNeed to feel you.â
You sink down on his cock, the both of you releasing loud moans at the long-awaited feeling. He lets you adjust to his size for a minute, but as soon as you move your hips just a bit, signaling to him that youâre ready for more, itâs over for you. He wanted to be patient and take his time, he really did, but you feel so warm around him and your small whimpers are so pretty that his resolve of letting you take the lead is thrown out the window. He pounds into you at a rapid pace that has you biting his shoulder to keep yourself from screaming.
You had imagined your first time back with Sunghoon so many times before. It usually involved a nice playlist in the background, fairy lights and candles lighting the room, hours of foreplay and sensual lovemaking, with a nice bath afterwards. Sometimes, when you were particularly needy for him, you imagined something closer to what was actually happening, where youâd rip each otherâs clothes as soon as you got to the bedroom and fucked like animals (a bit much, admittedly, but you really missed him).
What you definitely hadnât expected, however, was that youâd both cum in less than five minutes. What could you do, though, when he was hitting your g-spot over and over again, his length stretching you perfectly as he whispered in your ear how much heâd missed you and how good you felt? And what could he do when you took him in so well, clinging onto him as you told him how much youâd missed him and how good he felt?
You finish at the same time, hole clenching around him and milking him dry. He doesnât pull out for a while, letting you collapse onto him as you both catch your breaths, just like you had that first time. âThat was a bit quick,â he pants, and you canât help but laugh.Â
You pull back to look at his face. Itâs so pretty and stupid. What a stupid face that you love so much. Do you love it because itâs stupid or is it stupid because you love it? You think that thatâs a stupid question, and you kiss the mole on his nose, then the mole on his cheek, right next to his nose.
âWe have all night to go slower.â
âWe have all Christmas break,â he corrects.
We have the rest of our lives, you think, and you think that might be a bit much, but you say it anyway. Sunghoon hums and says, âyes, we do,â and you think maybe itâs not all that stupid.
Maybe itâs the greatest thing thatâs ever been.
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I love your work so much and it makes me feel a certain way <33 BUTT im here to request something that I've been looking for đ€đœ
Toji x Fan-Fiction-Writer ! Reader? I'll get on my knees if required đ«¶đœ
đ
đąđđđąđšđ§ đđĄđąđŹ đđąđ(đ€)đđąđšđ§!! | tĆji fushiguro
đđČđ§đšđ©đŹđąđŹ: You know, some things are just not meant to be shared, such as fanfiction writing. And how the hell did your boyfriend, of all people, come to be the one to question you about your hobbies? You tell me, you dirty little writerâŠ
đđšđ§đđđ§đđŹ: Toji x fem fanfic writer! reader - explicit content; minors DNI - modern au! - the reader is mid/late 20s; Toji's in his mid-30s - humor - fingering (f! receiving) - oral (f! receiving) - clitoral play (licking, sucking and swiping) - deep impact position - degradation (slut, whore) - use of "Daddy" title - praise + humiliation - spitting - cervix fucking - little bit of rough sex - unprotected sex (psa: wrap the willy; don't be silly) - pet names (baby, cupcake, good girl, mama, princess, sweetheart, sweetie) - aftercare; taking a bath together - usage of a phone; erotic literature/writing - Toji teasing you to no end, the bastard, lol - reader wears glasses cuz why not, hehe - mention of drool/spit.
đđšđ«đ đđšđźđ§đ: 5k (bless up)
đđźđđĄđšđ«'đŹ đđšđđ: bro. this idea cooked so bad, i just HAD to make a fic for it, lmao!! apologies for doing this months late, hope I did the prompt justice, and ty for loving my works~â
âNooo, stop, Toji, give it back!â
âHold on, baby, hold onâŠPhew, who knew ya liked wrtinâ dirty shit like this? The fuck is âpet playâââ
âOh my God, stop it!âÂ
This had to be, undoubtedly, the worst day of your life.
If thereâs one thing every human being on Earth has in common, itâs their love for the weekends. Theyâre amazing â have two whole days to retreat and relinquish the turmoil and stress after five days straight. Theyâre the days when you can choose whichever activity you want to enjoy your leisure.Â
Some people catch up on sleep, others watch a show or try to cook up a new dish, and some go outside and hang out with friends. But then there are those weekdays where itâs satisfying enough to spend your day inside the comfort of your home, delighting in a hobby.Â
The hobby you chose to indulge in this weekend was writing. And right at this moment, you regret it being the activity you selected.
Why? For one, it wasnât just any type of writing, like journalling or poetry. No, no; if it were, things would be easier for you to deal with now. Nope, it was fan fiction writing. The type of writing youâve known since middle school and decided to jump in and try for about a year. What started as a curiosity turned out to be a hobby that took up your infatuation to the maximum level: writing pieces every night, taking up requests from your following over six thousand followers, and serving as an outlet to project your fantasies onto the Internet.Â
What type of fantasies, you might ask? The type you read in a room by yourself or in the corner away from prying eyes, under a blanket with your phone exhibiting the dark secrets that corrupt your mind, or the type that only could be accepted on the Internet and not from the judgmental looks of those in the real world.
But, most certainly, not the type of fantasies you wanted your boyfriend to see!
âToji, please, give my computer back!â
âNah, hold on; I wanna see thisâŠOh, what a title; âFuck Me, Rail Me, Use Me, Daddyâââ
âTOJI, STOP!â
Perhaps writing fan fiction with your boyfriend occupying your apartment wasnât the best idea. But you wanted to get a draft donât by the end of this weekend, and you were almost done with it. You were typing up a storm in your bedroom, sitting at your desk while your man, Toji Fushiguro, was doing at-home exercises in your living room.Â
And you couldâve sworn you had locked your computer before going to the bathroom. All you know is that after flushing and washing your hands, you opened your bedroom door to a horrifying sight: Toji, sweaty from his routine in his sweats and wife beater, holding up your laptop that showed the exact draft that you were working on! No, no, NO! You almost tripped dashing to take the device, but the older man was too quick and effortlessly dodged your attempts while still reading the material. And now you know why you are hopping around your room trying to catch the man and stop him from reading more of your stuff.Â
Spoiler alert: your efforts were beyond futile, huffing and puffing in complete defeat on your bed. Your boyfriend was sitting beside you, still reading aloud while scrolling through your drafts, to your dismay. Your ears and cheeks harbored an unbearable heat that you could cry at any second, and you covered your face in case it were to happen. God, please kill me now!Â
âJesus fuckinâ Christ, how many of these shits have you written?â Toji inquires, his forest green eyes scanning every draft as if the list were endless. âHow long have you been doinâ this?â
âForâŠa while.â You can barely muster the confidence to utter an adequate response. How could I have forgotten to lock my damn computer?!
âHow longâs a while?â
âUhhh, aâŠa year?â
The silence was pinching your skin enough, but you donât know if you preferred it over the next thing he said. âWow, who wouldâve thought my sweet angel was a dirty lilâ thing writing filth like this?â Oh, you wanted nothing more than to crawl into a hole and die. You can practically sense the smirk on his stupid, handsome face, pulling the scar off his lip! And it hurts your being that he laughs at you grabbing a pillow to scream into oblivion. âWhat a horny minx.â
You removed the pillow to tell him off. âItâs not all my fault! Most of those arenât even my ideas; some of my followers asked me to writeââ
âFollowers?â God, would it have killed you to shut up? âSo you got people readinâ your stuff?â
Downcast eyes to avoid his surveying ones, âWâWell, yesâŠPeople like how I write, so IâŠ..Write whatever they ask me.â
âOh, wow,â raven eyebrows lift while looking at the screen, flipping through the notes of your drafts to your blog with your completed works. âSo over a hundred freaks like how freaky you write.â
âHey, dâdonât say it like that!â
âOh really?â You didnât like how he said that, nor when he pulled up one of your drafts to read. â⊠âYou spread your legs on instinct as she sucks on your chest, and the woman takes the initiative by sliding a hand down to yourâââ
âStop, stop, STOP!â You sit upright and try again to take the computer away from him, but Toji swiftly moves to the bedroom floor. Fuck! It was hopeless, so you groan in exasperation. âQuit it, Toji; you had your fun, so give it back!â
He didnât think so; finding something new about you made him curious to no bounds. And for it to be a bit of a suggestive side of you? Oh, how ashamed you were of him finding this out tickled him. âDamn, thereâs so much on hereâŠHave you ever written âbout shit weâve done?â
You couldnât believe he asked you that question â you couldnât believe you were in this situation at all! Are you serious ââly asking me that?!?â
âIâm not hearinâ a âyesâ or âno.ââ Now, this is just diving into a more profound level of embarrassment than you could handle. âDidâya?â
ââŠâŠâŠâŠâŠyes.â
âWait, frâ real?! Which ones?â
âIâm not telling you! Just give me my laptopââ
âHell nah,â his elbow is strong enough to keep you at bayâhow pathetic on your part being treated like a kid. âIâm curious to see what my lilâ sweetheart is tellinâ strangers âbout how we do our businessââ
âIâm not telling them anything!!â You retort. âI-I just use our experience as a means ofâŠreferences when Iâm writing,â thumbs find themselves fidgeting together. âItâŠIt helps when I donât know how to describe a feeling, orâŠ.what itâs like during certainâŠ..positions.â Was the room getting stuffy, or were you shrinking under the growing pressure of every word coming out of your mouth? Who knows.Â
âIs there stuff yâve written before that youâd like frâ us to try?â Oh, for fuckâs sake, this was too much, bringing your âhisâ hoodie up to shield you from this predicament. And it only worsens when he stares your way, having you close up the hoodie by the drawstrings and collapse to his shoulder. Toji chuckles at your routing self, wrapping an arm around you. âCanât even be honest frâ a second.â
âToji, pleaseeee,â whining doesnât help, the older man moving the laptop out of your lazy attempt to retrieve it. âGive it baaackâŠ!â
âNnm, nnm, donât wanna,â he places the device away to the ground and takes your hand with his. âNow I gotta read what weird shit youâve been keepinâ âway from me.â
You shake your head frantically. âPlease donât! Donât you think youâve tormented me enough today?â
âNow, why would I ever get tired of fucking with ya?â The smirk on his face is still present after you open the hoodie to sneak a glare. âShoulda thought âbout that and locked yâr laptop screen.â
âYouâre such a fucking assholeâŠâ his laugh at your words only proves your point, and you bury your face in his chest. This entire thing was so outrageous. How in the world were you this dumb enough not to double-check to make sure your computer was locked from prying eyes? What an amateurish move! Not even your closest friends know that you write fanfiction, so to have your boyfriend be the one to not only find out but bombard you with questions about your secret hobby is nothing short of humiliating. It canât get any worse than thisâŠ
âŠOr so you thought.
âHey,â you perk up to look at Toji. âYou said ya got followers askinâ ya what they want you to write, right?â You nod meekly, twirling your thumbs with the bottom of your shirt. âShow me some.â
Appalled, you gawk, âWhâwhy would Iââ
âI know you have favorites from the hundreds Iâve been looking at for the past five minutes. So, are ya gonna show âem to me, or am I gonna have to read every single one to find out?âHe didnât show interest in returning the laptop to you even after asking the question. âOh, donât look at me like that, baby; I bet ya can look it up on yâr phone or somethinâ.â
Your pout deepens in defeat as you begrudgingly stuff a hand inside the pocket of your leggings to pull out your phone to click on an app. Your thumb clicks and scrolls for a few seconds before you peer to him and say, ââŠI do have some favorites.âÂ
Jesus, it hurt to admit that to someone, especially with your him of all people, who is without a doubt getting an absolute kick out of this, the fucking bastard! This was beyond embarrassing; nothing could ever top this moment. Indeed, there is nothing else he could have done that could have made this predicament any worse than it already is. At least thatâs what you tell yourself to cope because Tojiâs grin on his face says otherwise. And what he says afterward makes your blood shift to ice.
âWhy donât ya read âem to me.â
Yup, you were killing yourself tonight.
âââ ââ
ââ
â âââ
âGo on; read that short one frâ me.â
âAhhââŠHahhh, âSitting here and thinkingâŠabout your favesâŠMmmm.â
For some reason, this felt so. Fucking. Wrong!
You already knew it was a bad idea for you to read your works to your boyfriend at his request. However, to be fulfilling said wish in this manner? The mortification had your ears ringing a thousandfold.Â
How would you have foreseen this yourself, face stuffed to the pillow with your phone held up by your right hand with your legs spread up and your bottom propped up? Who the hell reads like this?! And on top of that, your boyfriend is alongside you, his body behind you. The inability to see what heâs doing arises uneasiness in the soul, quivers sneaking up as you feel the rough pads of his fingertips greet the skin of your ass after sneaking inside the oversized hoodie.Â
Breath hitches at the slide of your panties, coming down for his hands to grope the flesh wholly. âTo..jiâŠâ his name leaves in shakes.Â
âCâmon, baby,â you swallow thickly at the cupping of your chasm. Toji chuckles at the twitch felt on his palm, âRead it properly, yeah? Word for word.â
Oh, fuck, your brows trench together. âTâŠâThinking about your faves pleasing you from behind. He knows he has to tease you a bitâTmmm,â his lightly hits your butt. ââB-By massaging your ass with his strong hands,â he does so, kneading your ass skillfully that has you involuntarily purring to his touch. ââŠâKeeping you still and relaxed so he can later feel you with his fingers andââ his forefinger and middle slowly come from your clit to the entrance, biting your lips. âNhhmm, hahhh.â
âGo on,â Toji scolds, the middle digit sliding up and down with a faint push. Your back quakes to the touch, fingers gripping the pillow. âWhat else is yâr fav doing?â
You inhale. âMmmmâŠâand circle one of them around to warm you upâââ spit gulped down again when Tojiâs digit did the exact thing as told. ââAnd then, when he knows youâre ready for him, he sneaks them insiââ Aaaiiii!â His middle finger is shoved into your vagina, and your toes instantly curl before he pushes the rest ever so slowly. âOh! Ohhh, fuckâŠâHeâŠthen comes to your shoulder and says to your ear to make you tingleâŠâ
ââŠâStay still, sweetie,ââ woah. You were not expecting that; you were too focused on trying to read your words, and Toji bending to your ear to read his part wasnât noticed at all. You only hope he didnât catch the clasp of your vaginal walls around his finger (he most definitely did), hoping the soft chortle meant nothing. ââGonna let me make yâ feel good, yeah?ââ Jesus Christ, his gruff voice relayed this so intimately to your eardrums that your heart was beating too hard.
Tojiâs finger goes faster, nearly having you almost drop your phone. Your face smooshes to the pillow from the scrape of his fingertip, biting on the pillowcase as he puts in the other finger. He whispers to your ear to keep going; unbelievableâŠSo you lift your head and try. âJ-JâŠâJust thinking about how easy he could make you cumâMmmph! Wi-With his fingersssâŠscratching and rubbing your insides so precisely until youâre practically begging to mess his hand upââŠâ
âOh, frâ real?â The perk of his tone makes you anxious. âWell, donâ mind if I do.â
The pace of his ring and middle finger increase, and you gasp sharply. The onslaught of rubs to your inner channel is enough to have your lower half writhe despite Toji keeping your legs grounded with his single one. Oh, fucking Christ, your glasses up to your smooshed cheeks the more you try to conceal your cries, proven to be trivial as the seconds go by.Â
âAww, whaddaya think yâre doinâ?â He coos with a kiss to your nape; you nearly shut down. His free hand takes your phone, âTryinâ to hide that cute voice of yârs from me? Fuck that,â he then removes his digits from your chasm as you yelp and makes you flip to your back. Oh, fuck no! Your hands go to cover your faceânope, Toji is quick to move them away. âLemme see you, mamaâŠNow, letâs see what else you should read frâ me.â He swipes your phone screen, âThis too wordy, this long as fuckâgoddamn, baby; you writinâ whole ass novels or somethinâ?â
âShut up,â you reply as your legs move, and Tojiâs left hand removes your undies.Â
âAh, this one!â He hands you back your cellular device. Your eyes catch the first sentence, and your face morphs into dread before staring back at him to meet his grin. âGo âhead,â he says cooly, spreading your legs by the knees.
ââŠâPicture this: your favorite coming to your room and seeing you on your bed and striding to you to taste you,â you inhale deeply at the blow of air on your wet southern folds. ââHe crawls up to you while youâre busy scrolling on the phone, busying himself with placing kisses to your stomach and down to your undies. Heâll then take them off and spread your legs for him, greeting your privates with his tonââGhhhâŠ!â Toji licks your slit leisurely; you gulp at the muscle perching between the lips of your labia. âHahhh, shitâŠâThe smell and taste of you are so inviting he can barely keep it together, virtually inching to stuff his face with your pussy. He kisses it, lips petting your clit,ââ he does so, and you chew your bottom lip. ââThen his tongue goes excruciatingly slow to e-explore your folds,â your exhale is shaky as Tojiâs tongue laps and swirls; fuck, I canât do thisâŠ
The older man, on the other hand, flips a switch and goes to town. You knew this was a bad idea; if thereâs one thing Toji loved doing more than fucking your cunt, itâs eating it out. He pushes your legs up by the knees for easier access, the angle perfect for him to propel his mouth onto your entrance. You shriek, his nose frequently grinding the hood of your cunt as his scarred lips and tongue suck and lick you feverishly.
ââTahhh! Ohhhshit, noâŠ!â You cry, throwing your head back to the pillow. âAhhnn, Tojiii, stopâŠnot too fastâOooh!â
He spits, mixing his saliva with your slick as he laves. âMmmph, shit, taste âo good,â Toji pushes his face further as he sucks on your clit, and you nearly choke on your sob. âYeah, yeah, let âem out; scream like a real whore.â You jerk, but his hands firmly keep you down. âKeep goinâ, cupcake, finish yâr reading.â
âKhhh, God, I canât,â you gulp when emerald eyes peer toward you. ââŠâBefore long, heâs too overwhelmed by you that he canât take it anymore, stuffing his face between your legs and having you cry out his name in prayersâyour phone is no longer a priority.ââ Jesus, you can hear his grunts along with the lascivious sounds coming from below; heâs so fucking turned on. ââNow he has your attention, playing with yourâŠpussy like a toy just to hear you squeak.â Â
âFuck yeah,â he groans as he sticks his fore and middle digits into you. Fingers go to and fro frantically, and your free hand grabs his raven hair. âChrist, yâ sound so fuckinâ hot. More, gimme more,â a long and harsh kiss to your clit makes you want to arch so bad. âGood girl, good fuckinâ girlâŠâ
You hiss at the graze of your vagina; keeping your eyes open is hard to do. Lips go agape, and your noises fly out with no restraint. Your legs tremble, impending in a wish to close from the curl of Tojiâs fingers. Your senses become too keen, your nerves heightening with every massage of your walls, lick and slurp of your slick and clit.Â
âOhooo, nhhmm, fuck, Tojiiii,â another suck to your clit has you grip the sheets. âStooop, please; Iâm gonna cummâŠ!âÂ
However, your boyfriend has another idea in his head. âOh no, you donât, princess,â his fingers leave you hurriedly with a squeal. He yanks for your phone once more to find yet another piece of yours for you to read, giving you so little time to recuperate. Until he scoffs with a smirk, âOhh, read this one aloud next.âÂ
You take the device returned to you cautiously, scanning the first few words that catch your eye. Curiosity snaps to apprehension, âW-wait, no, please!â Begging wonât work, but it doesnât hurt to try. âPlease, Toji, look for someââ
âAht, aht,â the click of the tongue shuts you. âCâmon, sweetheart, that ainât what yâre callinâ yâr fav right now.â He squeezes your thigh, âWhatâs my name?â
âToji, pleasââ
âMm, mm,â he pinches you, a warning. âTry again.â
Excitement Nervousness flicker through your soul, breathing tardily as you muster to answer. âSorryâŠDaddy.â The title burnt your tongue when it left your mouth, and the smile lifted Tojiâs scar even more.Â
âGood,â he praises. âNow read.â
ââŠOne of my followers asked about writing a post about deep impact, so itâsââ
âDeep impact?â He questions while spreading your legs. âThe hellâs that?âÂ
âI-Itâs a, uhh,â you push up your glasses. âA position where youâŠkinda, like, sit on one of my legs and lift the other to your shoulder.â
Black eyebrows rise. âOhhh, somethinâ like this, huh?â Sturdy hands find your ankle and lift your leg to his shoulder, and Toji then moves to have your other leg in between his. Your lips flatten when the groin of his pantsâaka, the pitched tentâtouches your hole. He whistles, âOh, now I got a new favorite to add frâ later.â His words arenât meant to jest, so you frown as he snickers. âAlright, what did you write for this?â
You lick your lips; why? Toji uses his free hand to bring his sweats down, not surprised by the lack of underwear as his erection springs out. His cock is standing and ready for you, the precum oozing out alluring your eyes and your lip bitten by excited teeth. Of course, your vagina is clenching to a voidâanticipation is a hell of a drug affecting your entire figure.Â
âDonât get too distracted, mama,â he caught you eyeing him, lifting the hem of his wifeâs beater to bite down on. Your ears and cheeks scorched at the sight of his abs and torso. âRead those words.â
Your gaze flickers to your phone while Toji lines his dick to your entrance, a gulp at the kiss of his glans and your inner labia. ââŠâDaddy has you propped in a deep impact, a position catered to mutual pleasure and closeness. He taps you with the tip to have you excited, then slowly pushes himself into yourâMmfff!âŠy-your warmth,â reminding yourself to maintain a steady breath; Toji pushes his cockhead into your slick as youâre distracted. A few seconds fly by, and he slips right in; a gasp exiting your puffy lips indicates so. ââHâHe gently shoves every inch and stretches you out,ââ his girth is lethal, your eyes rolling up the further his tip goes, scrapping your texture and your opening suiting for his length. ââA-And, it feels so good to have him making you full and goodââHoohh?!?â
Thatâs it, thatâs what you were anxious aboutâyou felt the jab of his tip on your cervix. You freeze instantly, too shocked to breathe as the hit was spontaneous. Your body locks down for a quick second to process what happened.
Toji notices your tightened grip and hisses, âFffuuckin, shitâŠ! So tight,â his hips go sluggish, and you feel his veins and shaft brush nicely with your insides. You sneak a glance at his flashed abdomen; the flex of his abs as he pushes his pelvis in waves is a sight to seeâenough to put you in a trance.Â
You continue. ââHis hip work is pleasuring, having you wail and cry out f-for moreâŠthe sensation of Daddyâs dick venturing inside and hitting your sweet spots is enough to make your toes curlâNhhaaaâŠâ
He can sense you gripping on him more; fuck, it feels so good. His thrusts go a little faster, forming a minimal medium. You exhale through your nostrils at the change of pace, and grazes against your walls become periodic and long-lasting the deeper he goes.
 âDaaah, ahhh, f-fuuck,â you whimper aloud. âTojiii, yâ feel so gâNnnmm!?!â You nearly swallow your tongue from the sudden pound of him, the rub of your G-spot too abrupt to predict.Â
âWho?â God, you know heâs getting a good kick out of this, the fucker. He pushes his cock to the hilt, and it takes everything in your power not to babble from the overwhelming intensity.Â
âDaddy, daddyyy, donâtâŠ!â Correcting yourself as his fingers dance around your unattended clit. âIâm sorry, you just feel so good..â
Thatâs more like it. âGood girl,â he bends closer, his knees spreading further apart. He pushes the leg on his shoulder so that the angle is plausible for him to rut harder. You shriek and squirm to his enjoyment, âKeep readinâ.â
ââY-âŠYouâre cries become more shameful the harder and faster he goes,â Toji stimulates for a harsher pound; another hit to your cervix has you winded. Despite your gasping for air, he doesnât relent, and you jerk to undulate to another poke. âSh-shiiit, JesusssâŠ! âHe pistons so hard, so deep, itâs difficult even to think straight when all you can think isâââ a choked sob from a slow pull before a devious snap of the hips. âA-All you câan thinkâŠAhahh!â Another nudge to your G-spot; this is so hellish!
The culprit scoffs softly. âThink âbout what, baby?â He swipes and pinches your clit to have you jolt and whine. âTell Daddy the rest.âÂ
Fuck, I canât take it anymore! The phone slips your hand, barely missing your head. âDaddyyy, I canât!â
âWhy? Whatâs wrong?â Another pinch to the bud pairs with a poke to your delicate womb. Oh, heâs such a dick! âDonât wanna read frâ me?â He chuckles aloud at you shaking your head ânoâ. âWhyâs that?â
âC-Cuz, if you keep going, Iâll,â a head thrown back at another nip on your clitoris. âAhh, I-IâllâŠ!â Shit, you can feel it, the climb rocking your bones to entail your soon climax.Â
âWhat? Ya wanna cum on Daddyâs dick instead of readinâ like a sweetheart,â donât believe the words; his faux disappointment doesnât match the merciless thrusts and the devilish grin. âWanna act like a whole slut and cum on me?â
âYesss, yes, pleasee!!â You donât care anymore; you want to let it out. âPlease, Daddyyy, I wanna cummm!!â
âHeh, what a nasty girl you areâNnnmm! Fuck, just milkinâ me dry, begginâ frâ it, huh?â The same fingers he used to play with your clit come to your lips to shove inside, forcing you to taste yourself. âGo âhead, mama; let yârself go, be the slut you really areâŠHahhh, shit, câmere,â he grabs for both your wrists with his free hand after taking off your glasses and propels you towards him at the same time as he pounds. Holy fuck, this position was getting rougher, pulling you in and hitting your cervix with accurate hits that youâre whining and twitching. Fuck, fuck, fuuuuck! Itâs too much, itâs all too much to bear, so itâs no wonder you climax in seconds.
You cry with the breach of your crescendo, your inner muscles contracting around the cock, hitting your womb. Your nerves are now peaked as the air is sensitive to your skin, and you feel so out of breath, everything happening all at once that you canât keep up as you thank Toji in babbled prayers, still sucking on his fingers as your vagina flutters and coats him of your essence.
âGood job, cupcake,â he comes closer and removes his digits. âCanât beat the real thing, right?â He cups and massages your cheeks before spitting into your mouth.Â
You donât even flinch, too fucked out to even care, just moaning to his lips as he brings you in for a passionate kiss as his hips keep going until heâs done and satisfiedâŠ
âââ ââ
ââ
â âââ
âUghhh, I canât believe I just did thatâŠâ
âPfft quit whininâ. Donât act like ya didnât enjoy it.â
âI hate you so fucking much, you know that?â
âWhatever yâ say, Ms. Novelist.â You grumble at the name before he brings the washcloth to wipe down your neck. Â
You and Toji were now in the bathroom, your nude bodies squished together, with the warm water cleansing you both. Hair and skin damp, your back meshed to his front as you sit between his legs. The soft yellow lighting basks the bathroom with a warm glow as you two bathe in relaxation, a needed state after the excitement prior.Â
You snatch the washcloth before Toji wipes your face clean off. âWhy did you have to be so nosy, looking at my laptop for what?â You wipe his arm that rests on the rim of the tub.Â
He rolls his eyes, knowing heâs in for a lecture. âWell, if ya didnât want me to see, shoulda locked the shit.â
âThat doesnât excuse the fact that youâre nosy as hell! Couldâve just looked somewhere else or left the room!â
âHmph, well, when you see the words âDown and Dirtyâ all bolded and big and see another tab with a pic of a rimjob, who wouldnât stopââ
âOkay, okay!â It would be best if you threw the cloth at him for chortling; such an indecorous personality for someone supposedly older than you. âYouâre insufferable.â
âRight back at you,â he whispers to your ear and kisses your cheek. You sigh softly from his lips, resting your head on his shoulder while he pecks your chin. The hand in the water finds your thigh to grope and massage, and you moan at the touch and unwind.
Tranquility fills the cozy space between you two as the silence settles in, the humid air comforting to your nose and eyes, and the drip of the faucet plucking into the tub water is a soothing sound to cajole you into a dormant plane.Â
However, even when relaxing, it doesnât stop the bothersome feeling of asking Toji something. And where better than with you in his secure embrace? âToji,â his name has him open an eye to look your way. âYou donât think IâmâŠweird, donât you?â
He raises a brow. âExplain.â
âLike, donât you find it weird that me, your partner, indulges in hobbies that areâŠyou know, like that,â now your eyes trail away from his gaze. âWriting about fictional fantasies and such, looking up erotic material and stuffâŠâ
A few seconds fly as he scoffs. âBaby, Iâve been lookinâ at porn way before I met youââ
âThâThatâs not what I meant??â
âBesides, itâs nothing more than just writinâ shit that doesnât exist. Hmm, if anything, now I know yâre just as big of a pervert as I am.â
Anxiousness transitions to peeve. âYou are soââ
âDo you like what you do?âÂ
The question takes you aback; the immediate serious tone switch wasnât expected. ââŠI..yeah.â
âAre ya hurtinâ anyone?â
âNoâŠat least I donât want to.â
âAre ya hurtinâ yâreself?â You see what heâs doing, the glint shining from his viridian orb.
âNo. IâŠlike this hobby.â
Finally, a small smile contorts that scar of his. âThen I donât mind it. Itâs what ya like to do, so do whatever, sweetie.â He comes to kiss your nose and rest his forehead with yours. âI like ya beinâ a lilâ weird anyway.â
âJackassâŠâ And there you go, falling in love with him again. You cup his cheek, kiss the other, and repose onto his shoulder with a blissful sigh.Â
âNow,â you blink back to him. âCanât lie, think you gotta start callinâ me âDaddyâ from now on,â like a scratched record, your heart stops, especially with his mischievous smirk. âWhere can I read the rest of yâr stuff at?â
âThatâs it,â you ignore his annoying bark of laughter as you try to squirm out of his hold. âLet me out of here, get me out of this fucking tub.â
âHaha, hey, quit it; yâre spillinâ the water!â
© đđšđŹđĄđąđ đ«đđČ2024 â reblogs + comments are appreciated wholeheartedly â header art by rororogi morgera + dividers by @/cafekitsune + @/animatedglittergraphics-n-more.
#đŻđđđđ Ëââ§ê°á â à»ê± â§âË đŸđđđđđ: đđđđ#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen smut#jjk smut#jjk x you#jjk x y/n#toji x reader#toji fushigro x reader#toji smut#toji fushiguro smut#toji fushiguro x you#toji x you#fushiguro toji x reader#fushiguro toji x you#fushiguro toji smut#toji fanfic#jujutsu kaisen x you#jujutsu kaisen fic#jjk fic#anime smut
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