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Thoughts on Act 1 of Arcane Season 2
The positives:
- The animation is fucking incredible.
- Jinx and Sevika teaming up watered my crops and cleansed my skin.
- Underwater goodbye with Jinx and Silco. That scene was made specifically for me.
- Jinx's voice actress continues to be excellent.
- Loved the designs of all the Chembarons. The glimpse we got of the gang wars was also interesting. Unfortunately, too tiny a glimpse. Which brings me to...
The negatives:
- Too many plotlines. They stuffed the season with too much shit which is why each individual plot gets a much shorter screentime than it should. Smeech is introduced and killed in the same episode. Chembarons' gang wars, a huge issue which has repercussions on the entire Undercity, gets only one musical montage before moving on. And this is coming from someone who loved that montage, as well as the song. My favourite on the soundtrack so far. But musical montages shouldn't come at the expense of the story and definitely shouldn't replace the story. There are just way too many music video scenes in general that feel like a way to condense a storyline into the sparknotes version because they don't have the screentime to flesh it out. And they would have the screentime if they cut out all the extra stuffing. Look I'm happy for the League fans who are excited for the Black Rose and all that, but what the hell is it doing in a Piltover/Zaun show. And with zero foreshadowing in Season 1 too. It would definitely be easier to swallow if they had at least hinted at it in the first season. They could have kept Ambessa's beef with this magic cult for a Noxus show. The P/Z narrative has enough to deal with, enough characters to handle already.
- The new side characters are uninteresting and generic. Maddie and the two other enforcers (we don't even know their names after three episodes LMAO) are bland. We know nothing about their characters or personalities. Maddie looks like a rookie, and one of the dudes is an alcoholic, yet they get chosen for an elite strikeforce to capture Jinx? Isha is pretty generic too - the token cute kid that needs protecting. I get the role she will play in Jinx's arc. But that's the problem - she should be a character in her own right, not just a vehicle for someone else's character development. A good example is Mylo. He died for Jinx's arc, but when he was alive he was a distinct character with his own personality. We had a sense of his insecurities, his goals, who he was as a person. Name a single personality trait of Isha and Maddie other than "generically nice person". That's right. You can't.
- Whatever the hell is going on with Viktor. He wakes up from his coma and immediately rejects Jayce so quickly that it was funny. Apparently disapproves of Jayce using the Hexcore to save his life, but then immediately goes to use the Hexcore to save random Undercity people. Bruh. I also don't really like the way the fridged woman from last season seems to be his motivation so far. Nor the way he seems to have no agency in his Machine Herald arc. Instead of Viktor himself believing in transhumanism and mechanizing himself, Jayce does it for him. Instead of Viktor having an ideological drive and wanting a "Glorious Evolution", he is driven by guilt over Sky. Meh. Also he's not even mechanized, instead he's weirdly fleshy?? In a magical way?? More like The Magic Herald :(
- Vi. Her whole character is a mess. Insanely rushed arc which I find unacceptable for one of THE main characters and one of the faces of the show. She and Jinx are supposed to be the leads, their relationship the heart of the story, but so far only Jinx is a well-written fleshed out chaacter with a believable arc. I have too much to say about Vi so I'll expand more on this on another post.
- So much nuance and detail is missing. How does Heimerdinger feel about his ex-colleagues being killed? Does he care? Does he feel guilt? Relieved that he wasn't in the chamber when the bombing happened? No clue! Let's have comedy Mission Impossible instead! How does Ekko feel about the Council attack? Does he approve of it? Think Jinx went too far? How does he feel that she even survived their fight to begin with? No clue! Here, have him joking around with a Councilor for a bit (someone whom Ekko logically should despise), then he can talk Science with Jayce and all three get sent to another dimension together. Yay. What does Vi think happened to Ekko? The last time she saw him, he was fighting Jinx to the death to give Vi and Cait time to escape. He could be dead for all she knows and she doesn't give a fuck. Doesn't even think about him nor mention him once. It's like the writers forgot they're childhood friends. What does the entirety of Zaun make of Silco's death? I assume they heard about it from Piltover (who heard about it from Caitlyn), but how do they think it happened? His body is gone and to Zaun it seems he just mysteriously disappeared. Are there conspiracy theories? Conflicting accounts and rumours? So much nuance that would give the world and characters more depth, sacrificed so we can pack in more rushed subplots and music videos.
- Caitlyn "Wifebeater" Kiramman. And Caitvi in general. So far Caitlyn has guilt-tripped Vi, manipulated her into joining the enforcers, insulted her and then physically abused her. After Vi sacrificed everything for Cait, wore a badge she hates for Cait, even let Cait kill her own fucking sister (and only intervened when the random kid got involved). Why should I give a shit about such a one-sided relationship lmao. "B-but Cait's mom is dead so she's sad about it", every other fucking character in this show has dead parents. Half the cast has faced unfathomable amounts of trauma and pain that make Cait's pale in comparison. Nothing justifies her hitting Vi. "B-b-but it's a parallel to when Vi hit Powder", a shit parallel then. Because the circumstances are not even remotely comparable. "God forbid lesbians do anythingđ€Ș", give me a break with this corny bullshit. Be serious for a second. I'm not even a Vi fan and I think she deserves better than this mess of a relationship. The power dynamic between them makes it worse. The way Caitlyn is one of the richest people in the city and Vi is broke. The way Caitlyn is highly educated and Vi never went to school and spent her entire teen years locked in a box. Did the writers think about all this when writing their relationship? Keep in mind, Vi met Caitlyn like a week ago. She barely knows this chick. She's been out of prison FOR A WEEK. Where she was physically abused every fucking day. Putting her in a relationship with a cop who hits her would certainly be a choice! Do I have faith this show will handle it with care? Not really, no. They already ignore Vi's prison trauma. Most likely they will make Vi forgive Cait way too easily because "muh mummy muh grief".
#i could write essays on how much of a fumble vi's character is#her prison trauma. her reason for joining the enforcers. her relationship with jinx. so much potential for a rich character squandered.#will have to elaborate on another post#arcane#arcane league of legends#league of legends#arcane season 2#arcane netflix#vi#jinx#viktor#caitlyn#sevika#jayce#caitlyn kiramman#silco#arcane s2
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Sometimes I think about how many of my problems would be solved if I were Roronoa Zoro
#I would immediately have many new problems#because I would be roronoa zoro#but I would be able to clean floors so much more easily#doodly#one piece#roronoa zoro#floor scraper gets to be in the mouth#because sheâs my favourite#floor scraper my beloved#self
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Someone: ugh marvel sucks now
Me: you're so right, 100%, agree completely
Someone: they peaked in endgame
Me: ...
#i will never understand why people like endgame#i mean i hated infinity war bc it had to do the contrived shit where very powerful characters had to be very foolish#bc otherwise they could win immediately#and the way that they decided saving vision was more important than the hundreds of wakandans that would die instead#and many many other reasons#but endgame was a billion times worse#it had exactly one redeeming quality and that was Steve using Thor's hammer#but even that was undercut by his ending so#anyway Steve should've done the snap and Tony should've retired to be with his family#and also everything else about that movie sucked too#god the fucking âââgirl powerâââ shot where all the women come together to help a man when they should've just given it to Captain marvel#way to admit you have zero female characters by the way#also way to disrespect black widow like where was her wreath during the funeral scene??#anyway there's a billion more problems with that movie but my point is people will be like âeverything after endgame sucksâ#and I'm like my guy everything after whatever movie was before infinity war sucks#tbf i heard the new black panther and guardians are good#but I've stopped giving marvel my money so#marvel#anti endgame#anti marvel
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possibly a hot take, but if Charles (particularly First Class âIâm going to drink and party all night in-between writing/defending my dissertation for my PhDâ era Charles) appeared alongside any other characters, heâd come across as the Matt Murdock of the groupâthe lawful, good-hearted but chaotic and somewhat unhinged guy who cares more about others than his own safetyâbut because heâs surrounded by Erik and Raven at all times, he comes across as the only sane one in the group
#now i need a fic where charles and matt switch places#like charles goes to work for nelson and murdock and he's a great lawyer but pretty much immediately gives away that he has powers because#he's so bad at lying#he'd be like#first of all foggy and karen: i would die for you. second of all i don't know what rumors you've heard but i do NOT have telepathy#and a third unrelated thing: the opposition is thinking about intentionally obscuring evidence FYI#and foggy is like 'dude you can't mind-read the opposition. i love your enthusiasm but that's super illegal'#'is there a law that says that?' '..well no because powered individuals are new enough that we don't have many laws surrounding--'#'then i don't see what the problem is :)'#and matt isn't used to working as a team when it comes to superhero stuff so he has a hard time figuring that out and scott has to do a lot#matt being a professor actually goes pretty well until he starts teaching the kids stuff that stick taught him but that results in a#lot of broken bones and hank isn't a fan of that so that puts a stop to it#also fun fact: matt and charles are both infjs!#i'm an infj too but alas no superpowers for me#charles xavier#professor x#erik lehnsherr#magneto#raven darkholme#mystique#matt murdock#daredevil#xmen#xmen first class#xmfc
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hella idk what to send to you for aftg im either bored or annoyed and I don't wanna just say bad things about it đ like that's just rude and yall obviously like it I DONT WANNA BE SOME DEBBY DOWNER MDMWKEM
I looked at the anti aftg tag too to see if I could intermingle there and last I checked it was a mix of fans obsessed with the series and haters being just a tad harsh imo, so i couldn't even do that RIP. I'm so lonesome in what is maybe a whole group of people gaslighting me đđ
honestly ive said this before and i always have to tread a very fine line with it because this isn't me saying it's OKAY or like. promotable. but i do think to an extent that aftg's problematicness is actually an aspect of what draws people in a lot. like the characters and their reactions to things feel real for who they are, what they've been through and the environments they were raised in if that makes sense? and then you go in the anti-aftg tag and it's just again and again 'they said THIS thing and acted THIS way in response to THIS scenario and it was PROBLEMATIC' and like. yeah. outside of the internet bubble you're in people do actually do that. like that behaviour exists. it IS problematic, well done. you pointed at a wall and called it a wall. but like? in real life people - PARTICULARLY deprived, traumatised people that typically don't ever get therapy or community or someone telling them why something is bad - DO act this way. ive said half of my love for andrew is literally just because he took an awful backstory and let it make him a complete cunt and ive NEVER seen a character do it as shamelessly as him before. and yeah there's the argument for how it's never resolved in the book where nora ties it with a bow and points at the bad behaviour so the readers can go 'see, this is wrong' and we all clap, but idk it just for me feels that when people point at the aftg characters and go problematic! problematic! problematic! it's like they're missing the point a bit.
the point being? that we need to be putting WAY more heat on the author. i really dislike her and a lot of her writing choices and her insistance of using slurs that aren't hers to reclaim and just because it happened to make the characters feel just that bit more authentic i can still acknowledge that she CLEARLY wrote it without characterisation in mind and just added all that problematic shit anyway. like i never get why there's so little focus on nora's writing decisions and thousands of posts just fucking CRUCIFYING the characters themselves and 'let's explain in detail why this behaviour is Morally Reprehensible and they should be Locked Up Forever'. like if u want to focus on the characters so bad and pretend they're the sole reason why aftg is Problematic and Bad then why is it so hard to acknowledge that someone raised the way they were might have some misinformed, ignorant beliefs. idk lol
#but i do also think im prone to viewing these characters as TOO real and i understand there's a line to be drawn between media and reality#like at what point does 'life imitates art' become just a genuinely shit piece of media#and at the end of the day im fully aware which end of the spectrum aftg is on LMAO but this is my 2 cents#like ive met so many people that have said absolutely heinous things that the internet would eat them alive for#like homophobic sexist shit you name it they've said it and it IS problematic and uncomfortable to listen to#but i also know that while teenagers online that would call them problematic were busy claiming some new fucking buzz word to throw around#those people were actively just fucking trying to survive. like they weren't learning about why misogyny is bad#because they were fucking addicted to drugs or living through poverty or some shit like they had BIGGER PROBLEMS#like not everyone got the education or life experiences you got and while it's valid to assume someone saying horrible things#is horrible themselves there's also the times it's just genuinely a misinformed ignorant person#like they'll say 'problematic' things and i'll point out why it's bad and they'll literally go 'oh i never thought of that.' that's it!!!#like i have this childhood friend whose life has been an absolute circus start to finish like COMPLETE instability i wont even get into it#low and behold she had NO ONE educating her about things and one time i had to explain to her why having abortion rights was important#bc she just out of nowhere said she was against abortions. and i initially was outraged and disappointed that this came from her#but i didn't patronise her or shout i just explained my angle on why i think they're good and she was on side immediately#cause she always had bigger problems than researching ethics and no one to guide her so she just absorbed the first opinion she came across#and in a small town from a working class family that opinion is typically not the nice woke answer the internet demands#and with aftg particularly andrew bc he's the one who gets a lot of slack for being violent and generally unreasonable#you have someone who has literally not had someone treat him kindly a single time in his life and each new person is a genuine safety threa#like the average person just does not have to deal with that! ofc they have more time to decide their political and moral compass!#and that's so relevant to real life! popularity for the monarchy is highest amongst the working class! the people voted for brexit! trump!#the lower classes and marginalised simply do not have the resources that higher classes do#and someone fighting for survival is not going to be reading twitter threads on cancel culture in their spare time#so many issues in the world can be eased so much quicker by kindness and patient non-patronising education#than just. pointing and calling 'problematic' at anything remotely uncomfortable#idk where this came from its 2am i should go to bed and instead im ranting not even about aftg anmore this is completely it's own thing now#i feel like i worded this badly too im gonna wake up to anons in the morning accusing me of like. condoning spiking#also gloomy i am SO sorry you are the true victim of this i went ENTIRELY off piste on this one please ignore this đ#ask
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why is this having to wake me up from my sleep? this got worse so much faster. I need to shower ASAP in the morning, finish cleaning my room and charging my devices, wait for the termite guyâs 2pm inspection and leave for Cedars by 3pm. I need help now and thatâs I think the fastest possible route in getting there.
#Iâve already gone to my local hospital for immediate help and they stabilized me so I may have to but that will cause so many more problems#in the long run as all my surgeons and specialists are over there and my hospital even said they donât have the expertise to effectively#treat me in the way I deserve - ie they donât have enough doctors let alone specialists and they could fck up the surgery#there are so many variables at play rn and my head is SPINNING#so if anyone is like why would I go to cedars atm and those are just some of the reasons#Ucla really screwed things up and although I could still go back - I know Iâll be safer at cedars based on what just happened#just wanted to throw that out there!!!! Iâm pro Palestine until the end but I may need a hospital in the meantime to preform the surgery#but fck - ethics may make me go back to Ucla but I bet they donate to Israel to bc I remember as a uc student I wanted divestment then!#but omg they changed their stance at UCLA in 2023?#omg they did it 2 years after I left and still keep up w/ the boycott#these tags are me finding that news out and making the connection that my hospitalization funds any pain to a Palestinian would make life#worth living w/ out having any principle but I canât die either but fck
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#I keep having these low-key frustrating conversations with people I respect about anti-trans laws#one of my favorite profs was asking me the other day what I want to do after my degree#and I mentioned that I might leave geology bc while I like my work and think it's useful#there are problems in the world that are way more pressing than [natural hazard] in [location] and matter more to me#also that it's kind of a bummer/difficult to plan for a long term future here#when I don't know what laws will look like here in just a few years from now...#I live in a pretty safe state but I'm worried about national laws#like to be clear I think a 'need to flee the country immediately' kind of situation is a long long long way from where we are now#but not so unlikely that I can readily put down the daymares about it#anyway I say this to the prof#and he says 'where will you go??'#and like I get what he meant and it's not a bad question exactly but that phrasing sure makes things sound globally hopeless#like 'if you need to leave where would you prefer to go?' would have been so much better...#and then today my advisor asked how my 2024 is going so far and I said that as of this morning#280 state level anti-trans bills had been filed and 38 national ones#and her response was 'why haven't I seen it in the news?'#how tf am I supposed to respond to that?? do I look like the fucking new york times to you????#first I was like 'there are people covering it like I could send links'#and she was like 'I'm not talking about whether I go looking for something... I meant why haven't I seen it In The News'#I ended up saying something about how similar bills are filed in many states so it would get repetitive on npr etc.#and how often do state level bills make it to the national news anyways?#and then I said that even here there had been one filed though I don't expect it will be passed#and she was like 'oh yeah I saw that one in the news'#and I'm like '?????????' so you DO see it in the news hmmmm?#and while I agree with the point that more national coverage would be good part of me still wonders#would she even notice if more of those headlines passed through her universe?#anyway to be clear these are both good people that I like a lot#something is just a little off and maybe it's that they don't quite get it#or that my sleep schedule went to hell in a handbasket so things bug me that normally wouldn't#or both
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imposter syndrome is very real
especially when it isnât đ
#idk is it imposter syndrome?#i forgot how to check an integrating factor after finding it#i was getting mus that would have worked and not even noticing it#it was an accumulating mixture problem so there were other errors before this#it took me many youtube videos#scanning my notes and my textbook#and even sitting at my desk for like 7 hours before i realized what i was doing wrong#i definitely feel like iâm missing the larger picture and iâm not ready for real analysis and the upcoming semester#but also#at least iâm studying even if iâm doing it irregularly enough to forget stuff from 1 chapter ago#itâs better than nothing#mathblr#idk who needs to hear this#math is 90% being too spiteful to give up even when you clearly need to step away#but still i should have taken a break because i came out of my trance after solving the fucking thing#and immediately got hit with like 4 new physical problems i was repressing#take breaks#you deserve breaks
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idk if people on tumblr know about this but a cybersecurity software called crowdstrike just did what is probably the single biggest fuck up in any sector in the past 10 years. it's monumentally bad. literally the most horror-inducing nightmare scenario for a tech company.
some info, crowdstrike is essentially an antivirus software for enterprises. which means normal laypeople cant really get it, they're for businesses and organisations and important stuff.
so, on a friday evening (it of course wasnt friday everywhere but it was friday evening in oceania which is where it first started causing damage due to europe and na being asleep), crowdstrike pushed out an update to their windows users that caused a bug.
before i get into what the bug is, know that friday evening is the worst possible time to do this because people are going home. the weekend is starting. offices dont have people in them. this is just one of many perfectly placed failures in the rube goldburg machine of crowdstrike. there's a reason friday is called 'dont push to live friday' or more to the point 'dont fuck it up friday'
so, at 3pm at friday, an update comes rolling into crowdstrike users which is automatically implemented. this update immediately causes the computer to blue screen of death. very very bad. but it's not simply a 'you need to restart' crash, because the computer then gets stuck into a boot loop.
this is the worst possible thing because, in a boot loop state, a computer is never really able to get to a point where it can do anything. like download a fix. so there is nothing crowdstrike can do to remedy this death update anymore. it is now left to the end users.
it was pretty quickly identified what the problem was. you had to boot it in safe mode, and a very small file needed to be deleted. or you could just rename crowdstrike to something else so windows never attempts to use it.
it's a fairly easy fix in the grand scheme of things, but the issue is that it is effecting enterprises. which can have a looooot of computers. in many different locations. so an IT person would need to manually fix hundreds of computers, sometimes in whole other cities and perhaps even other countries if theyre big enough.
another fuck up crowdstrike did was they did not stagger the update, so they could catch any mistakes before they wrecked havoc. (and also how how HOW do you not catch this before deploying it. this isn't a code oopsie this is a complete failure of quality ensurance that probably permeates the whole company to not realise their update was an instant kill). they rolled it out to everyone of their clients in the world at the same time.
and this seems pretty hilarious on the surface. i was havin a good chuckle as eftpos went down in the store i was working at, chaos was definitely ensuring lmao. im in aus, and banking was literally down nationwide.
but then you start hearing about the entire country's planes being grounded because the airport's computers are bricked. and hospitals having no computers anymore. emergency call centres crashing. and you realised that, wow. crowdstrike just killed people probably. this is literally the worst thing possible for a company like this to do.
crowdstrike was kinda on the come up too, they were starting to become a big name in the tech world as a new face. but that has definitely vanished now. to fuck up at this many places, is almost extremely impressive. its hard to even think of a comparable fuckup.
a friday evening simultaneous rollout boot loop is a phrase that haunts IT people in their darkest hours. it's the monster that drags people down into the swamp. it's the big bag in the horror movie. it's the end of the road. and for crowdstrike, that reaper of souls just knocked on their doorstep.
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Something that literally changed my life was working with a friend on a coding thing. He was helping me create an auto rig script and was trying to explain something to me but his words were just turning into static in my brain. I was tired and confused and there was so many new concepts happening.
I could feel myself working toward a crying meltdown and was getting preemptively ashamed of what was about to happen when he said, âHey, are you someone who benefits from breaks?â
It broke me.
Did I benefit from breaks? I didnât know. Iâd never taken them.
When a problem frustrated or upset me I just gritted my teeth and plowed through the emotional distress because eventually if you batter and flail at something long enough you figure it out. So what if you get bruised on the way.
I viscerally remembered in that moment being forced to sit at the table late into the night with my dad screaming at me, trying to understand math. I remembered taking that with me into adulthood and having breakdowns every week trying to understand coding. I could have taken a break? Would it help? I didnât know! Iâd never taken one!
âYes,â I told him. We paused our call. I ate lunch. I focused on other stuff for half an hour. I came back in a significantly better state of mind, and the thing heâd been trying to explain had been gently cooking in the back of my head and seemed easier to understand.
Now when I find myself gritting my teeth at problems I can hear his gentle voice asking if I benefit from breaks. Yes, dear god, yes why did I never get taught breaks? Why was the only way I knew to keep suffering until something worked?
I was relating to this same friend recently my roadtrip to the redwoods with my wife. âWe stopped every hour or so to get out and stretch our legs and switch drivers. It was really nice. When I was a kid weâd just drive twelve hours straight and not stop for anything, just gas. Weâd eat in the car and power through.â
He gave a wry smile, immediately connecting the mindset of my parents on a road trip to what theyâd instilled in me about brute forcing through discomfort. âDo you benefit from breaks?â he echoed, drawing my attention to it, making me smile with the same sad acknowledgement.
Take breaks. Youâre allowed. You donât have to slam into problems over and over and over, let yourself rest. It will get easier. Take. Breaks.
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Fixed point (mathematics) // The History of Perspective // "Point of Disappearance", Dennis Held // How the Hughes hockey family stays grounded // Fixed Point Photography-- // "Portrait of A.", Tung-Hui Hu // Mic'd Up | Hughes NHL 25 cover shoot // "Burnt Norton", T.S. Eliot // "Circuitry", Janine Joseph // Bruce Bennett // Nick Wass // from obedience [maybe one day, during a point in time], kari edwards // Bill Rapai // "Errand Upon Which We Came", Stephanie Strickland // Benchmark (surveying)
art kid luke hughes
#joy i feel like i shouldâve known it would be you wrecking my shit by saying this ->#no one tell me what itâs about i want to think about jack as a fixed point forever#like. please. please. why would you. & also why are these like miyazaki/indie coming of age documentary closed captions u know what i mean#anyway in a moment of brief insanity i thought about the devil!nico snapping his fingers to make jack first overall wherever he wanted#and the concept of things that would always have happened itâs just a matter of how you get there#no matter where your eye starts it always ends there no matter where your threads weave in the web of fate all the knots end up tied. fixed#(nolan going to vegas) itâs just the path you took to get there was a little different is all.#hi. it's me. five+ hours later. remember the brief aforementioned moment of insanity#yeah so we lost it in a completely different directions sorry?#if i had a nickel for every time i entered a hughes brothers induced narrative webweaving fugue state i'd have two nickels#which isn't a lot but relative to the amount i think about them kinda is and also it's weird it happened twice#also i'm not apologizing for hearing âart kidâ with fixed point (one perspective? my googling of art terminology did not yield results.#luke baby girl i think you've got the wrong term.) and immediately jumping to science (math and ecosystem management) because. that's art#luke hughes#jack hughes#quinn hughes#vancouver canucks#new jersey devils#my cat would very much like for me to go to bed and snuggle however. i was possessed. (AND i just learned how to do small text)#so now all of you get to have worms for brain at 12:30AM too ok ily good night!!!!!#i lied actually i need to tell you guys things because number one EYE have no idea where this came from number two the things i do know#i have no idea if the red string meme it's all coming together points make any sense to anyone but me. SO FIRST#function defined by itself (43 superscript added by me) it's luke defining fixed point. he's cited.#perspective used to stage narratives!!! the history of perspective in art is honestly so interesting and i think actually this started#because i was trying to find a definition for fixed point in art and couldn't get one but found the article talking about#how historically perspective is used for geometric and architecture in paintings to add reality i.e. vermeer's squares#because our brains are SO hardwired to believe perspective âthe illusion of geometric regularity and spatial recession... is nearly impossi#liv in the replies#said more but tumblr ate it bc it was too many tags & now we're on hour six i am not rewriting just know it was good. past/present/future l#it was not well articulated & i wanted to do perspective lines & also it could be better collaged but if it looks bad.. that's a u problem.
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shouldnât have â lumberjack!logan x fem!reader
listen usually i would hate this plotline but like ?? are yall seeing what im seeing ?? feminism exists and is alive and well until we see this man and suddenly weâre all damsels in distress
as always, warnings: reader was in an abusive relationship, logan the savior (i have issues ok), dom logan, bratty reader, choking, slapping, rough p in v sex, swearing, breeding kink tee hee
mdni!!!1!!1!1!1!11!
ââââ
you had been with your boyfriend â well, now ex-boyfriend â for about three months before you had noticed something was wrong. just a few things, you thought. nothing bad. nothing to worry that much about. it felt like he was doing so many things too much; sleeping, drinking, smoking, video games⊠yellingâŠ
you thought by getting him a job with some men you knew would be fine â that it would solve every problem. why would it not have? he just needs a job, you thought. just something to get him up in the morning⊠something to give him purposeâŠ
you were wrong â oh, you were so wrong.
at first, everything was fine â up every day, home every night, and only so many hours at the end of the day could be dedicated to all of those bad little habits you hated so, so much. he was drinking, smoking, playing video games so much less â you almost forgot why you were so annoyed and insistent on this new job in the first place.
...until he stopped coming home before midnight.
...until the yelling got worse.
until he got worse.
you almost left him â almost. until, one night â he asked if you could pick him up from the bar after work so he wouldnât have to wait before he could drive home. you could've squealed you were so relieved, so happy. it seemed like a step in the right direction, and you were hopeful. you thought the kinks were working themselves out, making it so you could finally work out your issues with him. like the good girlfriend you were, you drove to the bar promptly for half past ten and waited in the parking lot for him.
after a few minutes, you sent a text.
a set of ten minutes had passed as you sat there, waiting.
...then another.
...and then another.
you called him, but there was no answer.
no fucking answer.
you ground your teeth when the call was sent to voicemail. voicemail? fucking voicemail? you stared down at the screen like it mocked you â showing you the reflection of your face in the glass like you were some joke, and embarrassment flooded through you.
all you could think about was self-respect â how if you didn't have any respect for yourself, how could your boyfriend respect you? how could anyone respect you?
it brought tears to your eyes, but you blinked them away.
and there went the last strawâŠ
you got out of the car and slammed the door. you were buzzing with anger, shivering like you were cold. anger filled you, but adrenaline was what carried you on its back through the doors of the bar and past its threshold. it was the only friend you had in that moment, and you grasped at its hand â letting it lead you to your doom.
what you didn't expect what form your doom would take.
âŠyour doom came in the form of a hot blonde with legs and cleavage for days.
she laid horizontal across the bar â shot glass in her belly button, line of salt up her abdomen. you watched a man, dirty from the work day, eye the blonde with hunger in his eyes. he wrapped his dry lips around the rim of the shot glass, and threw his head back. almost immediately, he licked the salt trail with a flat, heavy tongue. the blonde above him giggled at the texture of his tongue on her tanned skin â and once he was done, she grasped both sides of his face and pulled him towards her.
thatâs when you saw the guyâs face â smiling and drunk â your boyfriendâs face. men around them hollered as he pushed her against the bar top, kissing her hard. all you could do was stare â adrenaline left you high and dry when you needed it most. you were just cold now â cold, lonely, and embarrassed. so embarrassed. so fucking embarrassed.
âyouâre his olâ lady⊠arenât you?â
your head cocked to a stool near you, occupied by one of his coworkers. he had a cigar in his mouth as he cocked an eyebrow at you, barely looking at you. his hand was around two fingers of whisky â and it had never looked so tempting.
âwas,â you whispered, politely correcting him and locking eyes with him.
âgood,â was all he said before he threw back the rest of his whisky and stood from his chair.
you were still in shock, frozen in place. all you could do was watch as the man pushed through the crowd, and stood in front of your boyfriend. you stared at the man's shoulders â covered by thin flannel that would never stand a chance against the muscles underneath. you gulped as he stood toe to toe with your ex-boyfriend, but the man didn't look half as scared as your ex did.
âyouâre fired," was all the man said.
everyone around the man, including the blonde and your boyfriend, went silent. jaws were on the floor â no one knew what to do. what could they do? they weren't expecting this â not when the fun had been going on for so long. the man couldnât have cared less â he waited for a split moment, awaiting any sort of rebuttal from your ex-boyfriend⊠and that was when your ex noticed you, staring at him. instead of running to you, begging for forgiveness⊠he started begging the man that had fired him for his job back.
you scoffed and rolled your eyes. of course.
ânot happening, bub,â he spat. ânow â iâm going to go buy your ex-girlfriend a drink with your last paycheck. ask your buddies for a loan on the tab with the blonde."
and with that, the man turned on his heel back towards you. when he turned, he didnât bow his head or look at the floor â he looked straight at you. and for the first time that night, you saw what he really looked like â a man. the man radiated masculinity like he was the poster child for the hard working all-american man. worn jeans, work boots, faded flannel⊠the works. his body was thick with muscle, and impressive sight that was definitely thanks to his job. the years showed on his face â but in a way that was handsome and reliable. life seemed to have chewed him up and spit him out, but he didnât look the type to go down without a fight.
with a moment or two, he was in front of you. he sat down on the stool, and patted the one next to him â gesturing to you.
âwhatâre you having, sweetheart?â
you stared up at him with confusion and surprise in your eyes, but a blush across your cheeks. your mouth fell open, stammering â as if you hadnât been embarrassed enough tonight. your eyes darted to your ex â the intoxication starting to wear away as realization set in. he lost his job, girlfriend, and ego all in a matter of a moment â and you knew how these things ended.
âi think i should ââ
âhe wonât bother you,â the man responded, gesturing to the bartender for two more drinks.
you took a cautious step back â eyes on your ex who was talking with his work buddies now, eyeing you and the man. the blonde had been discarded, scoffing as she found herself in a similar position as you â chewed up and spit out, but not willing to fight.
you were fumbling for your keys now, anxiety beginning to take over. you were shaking as you took several steps back, not knowing whether to run or start crying was the better answer.
the man who had stood up for you then stood, sighing. he saw your ex walking towards you now, and he rolled his eyes in the way an owner would be annoyed with a dog going back for something they were explicitly told not to. the man drank his whisky, and handed you the other glass.
the man only had a take one step towards your ex before your ex had stopped in his tracks, eyes and mouth wide.
âgot all the time in the world, bub,â the man spoke. the man had his fists balled at his sides â and, within an instant, sharp bones almost two feet long had sprung from between his knuckles. the man didnât wince â but everyone else did. with a cocked head, he then continued, âdo you?â
when your ex didnât move, and the man was satisfied that none of his friends were going to make a move⊠he turned on his heel and stalked back toward you.
âfinish your drink, sweetheart â weâre leaving.â
within five minutes, you had finished your drink before you went outside. there was logan â same bone swords unsheathed, but now stabbing into black tires on a familiar truck. you smiled â now your ex didnât have a ride home.
âcan i give you a lift?â you asked.
few hours later â there you sat with the man, who you now knew as logan. you were on one side of the couch â you curled in the corner on the end, and him in the middle turned towards you. the alcohol was flowing, so you didnât need a blanket over you to keep warm. now, sat across from logan, both of you appearing to feel the effects of whisky â all you wanted was his warmth.
âgood hostess,â he spoke as you refilled his whisky glass.
you blushed. ânothing compared to what you did for me back there â least i can do.â
âi gotta ask ââ he said, taking a sip. âwhy him?â
you shrugged. âguess i learned the hard way you canât change someone who doesnât want to change.â
he looked at you then â almost through you. you wondered if he could see the same ghosts in your eyes that you could see in his.
he shook his head then, chuckling â appearing to want to break the heavy air. âyouâre too young for talk like that, doll â wonât allow it.â
you returned his laugh, realizing you were happy for the subject change. ânot every man is like you, logan â first one i met that wouldâve done what you did.â
he set his glass down then, and you were struck with the realization of how broad his chest and shoulders were. how the fabric of the stretched across his muscles. how heavy the scent of whisky, maple, wood, and cigar smoke hung on his clothes. you stopped staring at him to meet his eyes then, but he was already looking at you.
logan caught you staring. a blush rose to your cheeks.
âthere was a time where men i knew wouldâve killed to be served whisky by a pretty girl like you,â he spoke, voice gruff. âtime where i wouldâve.â
you smiled, insecure under his gaze. âyouâre easy on the eyes, lo â canât imagine you had to put much effort into getting with someone you wanted.â
âoh, doll ââ he spoke, leaning in towards you. his face was barely inches from you, and you wanted him to touch you. you wanted those big, calloused hands on your soft skin â wanted it so fucking bad â but he wouldnât put them on you. not yet. not quite yet. âsweet, pretty things like you? worth all of the effort in the fucking world.â
you felt one of his hands â his large fucking hands â slide down from your knee, to the side of your thigh. he squeezed lightly on the flesh, loving the feeling of your soft skin. you met his eyes then, dark and hungry. he wasnât hesitating â he was waiting for your approval or disapproval. he wanted you to know he wanted you, but also that you had the final say.
âyâgonna let me show you how a real manâs supposed to treat a woman?â he asked, tucking a hair behind your ear. âhmm, sugar? climb in my lap, and iâll show you.â
curiosity killed the cat, but not before it found out what the secret was.
logan fell back against the couch â man spreading, hands on the tops of his thighs with his eyes on you. only on you. there was no more of the adrenaline from earlier, no â but there was the confidence from the warm, dark liquid flowing through your veins. it gave you the push you needed, making you throw a leg over his hips, and sit your ass down right over the tent in his jeans.
âthatâs a girl, yeahâŠâ he spoke, his hands ran up and down your thighs. his eyes were raking up and down your body in the way that your ex had looked at the blonde, and it only added to your confidence. you wanted to be wanted â and logan made you feel more sexy than your ex ever had. âtell me, sweetheart â when you look at me, what do you see?â
âa man,â you respond, before you can stop yourself.
he raises his brow then â surprised, but not displeased at your answer. â â yeah? and what makes me a man?â
you thought for a second, as the alcohol clouded your ability to be witty. you couldnât pinpoint why â you just knew. while you were thinking, almost stammering â you felt his hand snack underneath your skirt and find your lacy panties. you were struck with the sudden realization of how badly you wanted to show him what they looked like, convinced he would like them â but he wouldnât let you take off your skirt. you eyed him, confused.
ânot yet, doll,â he spoke, voice hoarse. his eyes never left yours. ânot taking off this skirt â no matter how much i want to â until you know for sure that i deserve to.â
âloganâŠ!â you grumbled, throwing your head back in mock laughter and frustration. âyâgonna make me beg? come on â"
âbeg? not tonight, darlinâ,â he laughed. you felt one of his fingers prod at your folds through your panties, poking through your lips to find the hidden sensitive parts of you. you sucked in a sharp breath at the feeling â curious and turned on. âbut you are gonna tell me everything youâre going to look for in a man from this point on. when iâm satisfied, then iâll let you cum.â
âdidnât think you liked games,â you breathed, curiosity, pleasure, and anxiety mixing in your blood.
âi donât,â he said with finality and sincerity. âi teach lessons, sweetheart â and now iâm gonna teach you how a man should treat you."
âyeah?â you breathed, keeping your lips barely centimeters from his. âand how are you going to accomplish that?â
ârock those pretty hips against my hand, baby ââ he spoke, pressing his fingertips against your clothes core. âand tell me types of guys you're goin' to avoid."
you went to question him, confused â but he pulled you right back in. he pressed two finger tips against your panties, creating the most devious fiction against your sensitive bud. you jumped at the feeling, but he kept your hips steady.
âthereâs one ââ he chuckled. âdidnât know how to touch you, yeah? so sensitive â âs like he never did.â
âhe didnât know how,â you whined, rolling your hips against his fingers and letting your eyes drift close.
ânot surprised,â he grunted. ânever a good worker either. so, whatâre we avoiding next time, sugar, huh? tell me.â
âi donât know⊠i donâtâŠâ your mind was warm and fuzzy now, leaving you unable to answer.
he swatted at the flesh of your ass then, causing your hips to jerk and your eyes to open in shock. he looked up at you, unfazed. âyou donât wanna cum, do you? want me to use you just like him â leave that pussy wet and wanting?â
you giggled. âdonât tempt me.â
his hand reached for your throat, an evil smirk on his lips. âyouâre a naughty fucking thing.â
you nodded feverishly, loving the grip on your throat. âfor you, lo. iâll avoid lazy men, i promise ââ
âyou better,â he warned, his eyes looking up at you with hunger. his wingers were rubbing hard against your clit, and you wanted him oh, so badly to dip into the fabric and roll around your clit or supple hole. âanother â tell me. now.â
âcareless,â you whined, your hips jerking. âiâll avoid careless men, logan, i promise ââ
âfuck that,â he spat, the grip tightening on your throat. âyouâre mine, darlinâ.â
he threw you down onto the couch then, landing on your back with a thud. he gave up on his own game, and your confidence bloomed within you. to be so sweet, so pretty â to make a man like logan stumble? forget what he was doing, all because he wanted you so bad? to be in between your plump thighs, round lips, and encircles in those pretty arms? your cheeks were burning pink as your gaze came back into focus above you. there stood logan, on his knees on the couch, as he unbuttoned his flannel with an animalistic chase in his eyes. you couldnât help but put yourself on your elbows, rubbing your thighs together to keep the friction and heat up. but your eyes? oh, your perfect, big eyes? they were on loganâs. they told you everything you needed to know as he tore off his belt.
âyou want me to use you, baby?â he asked as he unzipped his belt. âthatâs what my girl wants?â
âby you, lo â a real man,â you breathed, stroking his cock and lining his cock up with the entrance of your pussy.
âgood fucking girl,â he growled, plunging his cock into your pussy.
his hips snapped against yours, causing you to jump into the arm rest. you held onto the arm rest, your pillow, to keep you steady. logan liked the sight â pretending that you had your hands tied up above your head as your breasts lifted with your arched back, preening upwards just for him. he watched the shivers run up and down your spine, causing your nipples to peak. he watched them hungrily as they bounced for him and only him, wanting to pull both into his mouth and show you just how greedy real men are.
and when he saw you release the grip held by one hand, and watched it travel down the length of your abdomen, with the end goal of your clit â he swatted your hand away, angry. his gaze â it screamed how fucking dare you?
âfuck off with that shit ââ he spat, pushing your hand back down to hold onto the head rest. âthis first time, darlinâ? i make you cum â and you lie there, and you take it.â
you whined at his words, your big beautiful eyes on his hungry irises. you folded your lip in between your teeth before you curled your hips up to meet his, wrapped your legs around his hips. never had you been treated with such confidence, such ease â but you wanted him to work for it, see how far he could go to prove to you that he was the best. âyou promise, old man? you can keep up?â
the air went still then â but your smirk didnât falter. it should've, you would realize later. you should've been afraid of the man, knowing what he was capable of when someone tested him. the difference was... logan welcomed the spice in you, as long as it was his to silence. loganâs eyes went wild and dark then, realizing the challenge. he held back so much with you, trying to keep the man awake and the beast dormant â but the greedy girl in you just kept knocking.
he flipped you then â forcing you onto all fours. he bent you over the arm rest, your throat in the crook of his elbow. his free hand groped and pulled at the flesh of your ass, letting go only to smack it. smacksmacksmack. his tough and calloused skin would leave marks, you were sure of it â but it only made your pussy wetter. the sounds were pornographic, filling the room and his nose and ears.
âwasnât much of a brat tamer, was he?â he spat, fucking into your puffy pussy. his grip on your throat wasnât tight, but it kept you in control. there was no moving, and there definitely wasnât enough air to mouth off. ânothing sweet about you â just a greedy fucking girl with the neediest fucking pussy. i'll get'ya there, doll â don't worry now."
you held onto his forearm for dear life, trying to keep your balance as you arched your back up into him. you felt your juices leak around around your sopping wet cunt and down both of your thighs and loganâs. the air was thick with your scent and sounds, pricking at loganâs heightened hearing. your whines â oh, your whines, your fucking whines! â were filling his ribcage and warming every part of him that wasnât touching you. his lips were sucking at your neck, nipping at the skin . he felt the vibrations of your moans against his lips and he had to fight every instinct to sink his teeth into your shoulder, ruining you for everyone else.
âplease â please ââ you choked, smacking against the arm rest. he pulled your free arm back behind your back, forcing you to take everything he gave you.
ânot stopping until that pussy creams, baby,â he spat into your ear. his hips were relentless against yours, plunging in and out of your wet folds as he kept them tight and controlled for his use. âwhen that dumb fuck comes back, to get his stuff? i want him to know whoâs pussy this is now. that fucked out look on your face? yeah? thatâs all that sack of shit is gonna see before i slam the door in his face.â
âfuck, logan ââ you whimpered. âiâm so close. f-feels so good. please, donât stop ââ
âi know, baby, i knowâŠ.â he moaned. you reached underneath him, grabbing at his heavy sack and rolling his balls with your finger tips. he jumped at the feeling, curious how a fucked out little thing like you still had so much energy to tease. ânever ends with you, huh, does it? always wanâ more?â
âcum with me, lo ââ you choked out. âcome on â make me feel it.â
he smacked your ass once more, grasping onto the rippling skin. you could feel your tight muscles, like cement â knowing they would be sore in the morning. you rolled his balls in between your fingers, keeping as controlling of a grip on him as he kept on you. his breaths were ragged against your neck, broken and feverish. your eyes were screwed shut, trying to find his lips in the darkness as you fought with and against logan.
âfill my pussy, baby,â you whined, reaching to any part of him you could grab.
when he saw your eyes, most of the begging in them rather than your tone â he couldn't help it. it took over him before he could even realize it was happening. how could he deny you so,ething you wanted so badly? asked for so sweetly? logan came before you did â much to his dismay, but only for a moment. he felt his skin shiver before his hips snapped forward once to meet yours, trapping you against the arm rest. he rutted into you as the walls of your pussy were coated â dressed in his seed, his spend, his claim. you could hear a growl rumble low in his chest, tearing up at the sound of such a big and strong man at his most vulnerable, his most peaceful state â only for you.
when you reached for your clit again â whining and wanting, ready to take advantage of hearing his satisfied moans in your ear â he smacked your hand away. you scoffed at his movement, but he shut you up quickly. his own fingers found the spot, and his fingers felt better than yours. you shouldâve known they would, with the way they attacked you through your panties.
âpussyâs filled to the brim, sugar ââ he grunted. ânow i wanna feel it shake while youâre full of me.â
he was so tired, but not his muscles â definitely not his muscles, nor his grip. it held you tight and upright â forcing you to take it in your weak, fucked out state.
âyou want me to fuck my cum farther into you, darlinâ?â he rasped, fighting his exhaustion through gritted teeth. âiâm too deep, arenât i? iâll fuck my cum into your womb if iâm not careful⊠but you'd like that, wouldn't you? dirty little thing..."
his warning was a threat, but your mind was too soft to realize. too pliant, too ready for him. all you could do was stare off into space as he held you close to him. his fingers spun circles around your puffy clit, his still hard cock piercing into you. âso very deep, loâŠâ
and when he smacked your clit once before continuing the assault, you came. you came harder than you ever had before â alone, or imagining something in your head as someone else fucked you. it was like your primal nature was being ripped from you, wanting to show and present itself to match loganâs â to show logan you were his match, that you were his equal. you bucked your hips back to meet his, letting the tip of his sensitive cock graze your sensitive walls as you screamed his name. it filled the room more than anything had for him â and it was all he would think about in the days to come. this woman, so worthy and so ready for him â only for him, and all for him.
âthatâs it, sweetheart. work for it, thatâs rightâŠâ
and as his seed slipped into your womb, open and ready for him as you came, you felt his lips press hard, sloppy kisses against your jaw. your own mouth was open, cries falling from it.
âmy good girl learned her lesson, didnât she?â he rasped. âdonât matter now, anyway â no one but me is gonna be in your bed. i'll burn his shit later."
âââ
i need to touch grass - L xoxo lmk what u think
#wolverine x you#wolverine x reader#wolverine smut#the wolverine#logan wolverine#wolverine#logan howlett x you#logan howlett x reader#logan howlett smut#logan x reader#logan howlett
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Here is a potentially silly question: how do you feel about birthstones? Do you think they fit the months (by season or astrological sign)? Do you have other stones you'd rather see as birthstones?
Okay, so, birthstones make absolutely no sense.
I mean, look at this mess. Weâre doing beryl and corundum twice! I get that they get Special Different Names for their Special Different Colors, but it's just lazy. And why are we giving some months cheap, common gemstones like garnet and amethyst while the poor June birthdays have to shell out tens of thousands of dollars for FREAKING ALEXANDRITE? Thatâs incredibly unfair! We should be picking birthstones that are all roughly the same price. And why do some months get multiple gemstones? Iâll tell you why: because nobody can agree on an official list and every attempt to standardize this thing has just added MORE birthstones to every month.
So obviously the answer is to standardize it again, by throwing out everything and starting over. Here are our goals:
Fair pricing. You should be paying roughly the same amount regardless of what month you were born in. Weâre getting rid of those ridiculous outliers like diamond and alexandrite.
More customization potential! Nobody should be stuck with a stone they hate. Weâre picking gemstones that come in multiple colors or varieties, so that everyone can choose a variant they like.
Wearability. Some birthstones are too fragile to be worn as jewelry. We need to replace them with stronger stuff.
No more duplicate gemstones. Every month gets a stone or family of stones with a unique chemical composition.
Now without further ado, I present to you:
The New And Improved List Of Birthstones With No Problems Or Flaws That Everyone Will Definitely Agree On And We Can Start Using Right Now Immediately
JANUARY: GARNET
I've got no problem with garnet. It's a fine, classic birthstone, so January can keep it. But I would like to see a little more garnet diversity. January birthdays shouldnât be confined to just red. The garnet family of minerals contains a rainbow of different colors, like orange hessonite, green uvarovite, pink rhodolite, yellow grandite, and many more. Theyâre all garnet, so we should be wearing them all!
FEBRUARY: QUARTZ
The original birthstone of February was amethyst, which is⊠kinda boring. Super cheap and common and you only get one color? No, we can do better. February gets ALL the quartzes now. Keep wearing amethyst if you want, but also feel free to branch out into clear quartz, citrine, rose quartz, smoky quartz, rutilated quartz, tiger eye⊠actually, take all the agates too. If itâs quartz, itâs yours!
MARCH: SPODUMENE
March was originally aquamarine, but Iâll be giving all the beryls to May, so we need a different stone here. Letâs stick with that theme of pale pastels and go with spodumene. For an April birthday, bedeck yourself in green hiddenite, pink kunzite, or yellow triphane. Despite its subtle colors, your birthstone has some amazing fluorescence, with really cool pinks and oranges under a UV light.
APRIL: FELDSPAR
Diamond is too pricy for this list, so weâre replacing it with something less expensive and way more interesting. April will now be represented by the feldspar family. Weâre talking labradorite, moonstone, amazonite, aventurine, and sunstone. While you donât have much variety in color, your stones are full of shimmery schiller which glitters and shifts as it catches the light.
MAY: BERYL
Mayâs original birthstone was emerald, which is great and can stay, but weâre also adding its siblings! May is now represented by all beryls: Emerald, Aquamarine, Morganite, Bixbite, Heliodor, Goshenite, and whatever other varieties Iâm forgetting to list. A bright and saturated rainbow of colors is represented here, so everyone born in May is sure to find something they like.
JUNE: ORGANIC GEMSTONES AND FOSSILS
Itâs time to address the alexandrite in the room, and obviously weâre getting rid of alexandrite. A stone worth $15,000 to $70,000 a carat does not belong on the same list as friggin amethyst. Instead weâll look at the other traditional June birthstone, pearl. The problem with pearl is that itâs a clear outlier in this list. An organic gemstone, by some definitions not even a mineral. Should we replace it? NO. We are OWNING it. All organic gemstones now belong to June. Pearl is joined here by jet, amber, coral, ivory, ammolite, petrified wood⊠in fact, June can have every fossil ever.
JULY: SPINEL
July was originally represented by ruby, which is a fine stone and wonât be kicked off the birthstone list - weâre just shuffling it down to September. Replacing ruby for July is spinel. (See, itâs funny because historically spinel has often been mistakenly identified as ruby! That's a little gemology humor for you.) Available in any hue you could possibly desire, spinel offers some nice color options to a month that previously only featured red. Of course if you want to keep wearing red, red spinel mimics ruby so well that youâll barely notice the difference.
AUGUST: PERIDOT
Nope, weâre not changing this one. Peridot is the ideal gemstone and you ungrateful August whiners can die mad about it. HOW ABOUT YOU LEARN TO APPRECIATE PERFECTION
SEPTEMBER: CORUNDUM
Sapphire is a wonderful, classic stone and it deserves its spot on this list. But the corundum family has been separated for far too long, and weâre finally going to reunite them. Joining sapphire in September is its sister ruby. Between the pinks and reds of ruby and the many, many colors of sapphire, these two stones give September a nice variety of colors.
OCTOBER: TOURMALINE
Look, as gorgeous as opal is and as much as I love it, it is both way too pricy for our list and also TERRIBLE in jewelry. This stone is just too brittle to wear around from day to day and can be ruined just by getting it wet, which makes wearing your birthstone a huge hassle. Weâll kick opal out and hang on to Octoberâs other traditional birthstone, tourmaline. Pink tourmaline may be classic, but this stone comes in plenty of other colors. Whether itâs brown dravite, watermelon elbaite, or the rare and beautiful blue indicolite, you can wear them all!
NOVEMBER: TOPAZ
November can keep topaz, but weâre not confining it to the color yellow. This stone comes in a huge variety of colors, and now they can ALL represent November. No further notes; itâs a nice, classic stone.
DECEMBER: ZIRCON
I dunno, Iâve had to come up with 12 of these, Iâm burnt out. Sure, zircon, whatever.
âBUT WAIT,â you say. âNow instead of having a single color assigned to each month, almost every month is represented by almost every color, making it impossible to tell anyoneâs birthstones apart and removing what made them special and recognizable as symbols!â
Well CLEARLY you didnât read the title of this list.
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Guard Dog vol. II
jason todd x fem!reader
aka donât fuck with jasonâs gf pt. II
3 in 1 blurbs
warnings: mild standard gotham violence, in the 3rd section: attempted sexual assault and panicky thoughts afterwards from reader
âSweetheart, this isâŠnot good.â
You turn your head over to him, where heâs frowning, hands on his hips as he inspects your bedroom window.
You tilt your head, looking it over from your place on the couch. âWhatâs wrong with it?â
He sighs, âWell for one, the lock is broken. But even if it werenât, this thing would be so easy to break.â
âItâs the lock the place came with.â You shrug. At least it has a lock. In Gotham thatâs kind of asking a lot.
âYeah, I can tell.â He frowns at the window once again, moving over to stand behind the couch. âIâm getting you better locks.â He looks to you, âI can install them tomorrow?â
You tilt your head up to look at him, âYou donât need to get me new locks, JayâŠâ
âOkay.â He kisses your head, âIâm getting them.â
You sigh in defeat, though your smile makes it lose its credibility. âTomorrowâs fine. I assume youâre staying the night, then?â
He makes his way to the kitchen as he says, âWell, Iâm not leaving you alone here with this piece of shit the only thing between you and Gotham.â
âIâve lived here for two years.â You say flatly.
âDonât remind me.â He mumbles as he moves behind the counter. âActually, your door chainâs broken too, isnât it?â It is, but thatâs his own fault.
You had a long day a couple weeks ago and had a very long, very hot shower the second you got home. Unfortunately, it had slipped your mind to text him that you were home safe and heâd broken through the chain in one try to make sure you were okay.
You hum, âIt wasnât doing much anyways.â Clearly.
He grimaces as he heats up the stove for dinner.
You laugh lightly, âWhat?â
He looks back at you with a frankly adorable frown, âI donât like that.â
Youâd never thought much of it. You hadnât had anyâwell, manyâproblems living here before, and you still had your deadbolt and handle lock.
âItâs okay. Iâm safe here.â
He looks like he strongly disagrees. He comes back over, sitting next to you, taking your face in his hands. âWill you please let me set up some security measures around here?â
âDid Jason Todd just say please?â You say in faux-shock.
He rolls his eyes at you, âIâm serious.â
You sigh, contemplatively. âI donât want my apartment looking like the Home Alone set.â
He laughs at that, âItâs not going to. You wonât even notice most of them. Just do it for me, please?â
âIâll agree, but only because I know youâre going to do it anyways and Iâd like to pretend I have control over this.â Thatâs not true, youâd agree to literally anything if he said please that sweetly again, but thatâs your business.
âFair enough.â He smiles, kissing your cheek.
No, itâs not fair at all.
Itâs late. Youâre not even sure how late but the city has calmed from its usual noises, indicating that your boyfriend will be home soon.
Youâre coming up heavy on cramps tonight and according to the mockingly empty spot in your medicine cabinet, youâre out of ibuprofen. Yeah, itâs late, but the store on the corner is a three minute walk and fuck your stomach hurts. Jason wouldnât like it if you went out without telling him though, so maybe you should wait untilâ
The sound of the living room window sliding open breaks you away from your thoughts, followed by a clatter of something hitting the ground.
You walk back into the dimly lit room, finding your boyfriend sliding the window shut again, holsters abandoned on the ground. He turns and collapses onto the couch face first, body immediately gone limp.
âHey, baby.â You bite back a laugh, coming over to rub his muscled back from behind the couch. He groans into the cushion in response. âWhy donât you go get in bed?â
He hums almost imperceptibly, sitting up and rubbing his eyes roughly with his palms.
He stands and takes your hand in his as he passes by, tugging you towards the bedroom. The deep ache in your abdomen reminds you of your earlier train of thought. You pull your hand back, stopping in your tracks.
He turns back to you with a frown, wanting to know what could possibly be getting in his way of falling asleep, holding you close.
âI gotta go pick up some ibuprofen. Iâll be right back.â You say quietly, not wanting to disturb the quietness of the night for him. His frown deepens as you head towards the door, watching you.
Youâve got your purse in hand and are reaching for the handle when you hear his footsteps following in suit. âHey, itâs okay. Stay here, Iâm just going to the 24 hour store on the corner.â
He shakes his head, âYouâre not going out in Gotham alone at two in the morning. Put your coat on, itâs cold.â
You do as youâre told, shrugging the coat on as you glance over at him. âJason, itâs okay. Youâre exhausted, go to sleep.â
He ignores you, throwing a sweatshirt on to cover up his armor, and follows you out the door; albeit far more sluggish than usual.
He was right though, the night air is bitter and slaps your face with every step forward you take. He lingers a few steps behind you, honest to god almost falling asleep mid step a couple times.
Frankly, youâre not even sure what kind of fight heâd be able to put up in this state. Though, heâs surprised you plenty of times before. In any case, his head snaps up every time thereâs any sign of movement around, instantly on alert.
He trails behind you as you browse through the narrow aisles, hands stuffed in his sweatshirt.
As youâre standing at the store counter paying, his neck is craned forward, resting on your shoulder. You rub soothing circles into his hand with your thumb, though youâre sure itâs not doing anything to help his exhaustion.
Youâre walking back home, the bite of the air a bit more forgiving in this direction. Thereâs another man walking down the sidewalk approaching, hands in pocket.
Jasonâs too tired to bother with subtlety, glaring directly at the passerby before he could even think of trying anything. And it works, because the guy averts his gaze real quick and speeds up past you.
He continues working at his post from just behind you all the way until youâre back inside your apartment.
He takes the medicine container out of his pocket and cracks it open for you, wordlessly filling up a glass of water after. You gulp down a couple of the pills, and he takes the glass and bottle out of your hand the second youâre done, setting them on the counter.
He turns to you, eyes barely open, mumbling, âCan we sleep now?â
You smile at his fatigued state and take his hand, leading him to the bedroom.
Your neighbor likes you. You know it, Jason knows it.
The worst heâd done was flirt with you, badly, and shut his mouth real quick whenever your boyfriend emerged from your apartment.
And Jason let that go; he knows better than anybody that youâre heavenly and sweet and clever, of course this fucking guy likes you. Jason set an unspoken rule with himself, that he wonât get violent with any guys unless they put their hands on you. Something he knows for absolute fact your neighbor has not done.
At least he hadnât until a couple of hours ago. Youâd been in the hallway at the mailslots, your boyfriend nowhere in sight, when he decided it was the perfect time to make a move. Make several moves, actually.
Youâre sitting on the couch, knees to chest, still trying to wrap your mind wround what had happened when Jason sees you. You stopped crying a while ago and youâve entered the phase ofâŠwell. That happened.
Your hear keys jingling outside the door, followed by your boyfriend's entrance. Heâs carrying some grocery bags and has a book tucked under his chin.
He lets the bags slide off his arms, and sets the book on the counter with them, beaming, âYouâre never gonna guess what bââ His smile drops when he sees you. âWhatâs wrong?â
You shake your head, âNothing.â But your blinking feels off all of a sudden, and you canât remember what you usually do with your face when youâre not lying. It doesnât matter though, you could be an academy award winning actress and youâre still sure Jason would be able to see right through you with a single glance.
He frowns, âDonât lie to me.â He moves towards you, kneeling down in front of you. âPlease. Whatâs wrong?â His eyes are worried now, more than usual.
You donât want him to worry about this. He already worries about you too much and heâs got all his vigilante stuff andâŠyou just want to believe that this is a manageable situation and not a problem. Not something that affected you.
âItâs justâŠitâs not a big deal, okay? I can handle itââ
His posture stiffens and his voice suddenly goes low and serious, âWhat happened?â
You know where this is going. âJason. Promise me you wonât do anything.â
His brow furrows, and his frown turns to something closer to anger. âDid someone put their hands on you? Who?â
âJasonââ
âWho did it?â
âThe neighbor, bââ he immediately snaps to a stand and starts towards the door. You hurry to grab onto his hand before he can escape your proximity, âJason. Please donât.â
The break in your voice is enough to make his rage falter and turn back around to face you.
âBaby, if he touched youââ His eyes are pleading, begging you to let him go take care of this. If not for you, then for him.
âIt wasnâtâhe didnât do anything. He didnât get to. I hit him and he backed off.â Which isâŠsort of true.
He stares at you. âIn the hallway?â
You blink. ââŠYeah?â
He takes off towards the bedroom wordlessly. You follow quickly on his tail, watching him sit on the edge of your bed, opening his computer and clicking through it quickly.
You slide over next to him, and see that he's pulling up a file under the name of your building and todayâs date. It takes you two seconds too long to realize what heâs doing, the thought only sinking in right as you see the hallway security camera footage on the screen.
âJasonââ you try to close the computer but he bats your hand away.
He forwards through the footage, as you scramble trying and failing to reach past him, various building occupants coming in and out of frame rapidly.
ââplease just listen to me.â But he did listen to you, and he heard that someone tried to hurt you. That was all he needed to hear.
He stops when he sees you enter the frame, watching closely. He sees you flipping through the mail. He sees your neighbor slither out of his apartment and stand far too close to you. You take a step back only to be met with two steps forward by him. He says something to you, probably asking where your boyfriend is.
The angle doesnât show his face, but it does see yours, and you look incredibly uncomfortable. You donât answer him, which evidently was enough of an answer in itself.
Your neighbor tries to brush some of your hair out of your face but you snap your head away, stumbling back a little. He uses your lack of balance as an âexcuseâ to grab onto your waist, pulling you close to him.
Your hands are out in front of you and youâre shaking your head as he pushes towards you. His lips land on your neck and you try to move backwards, but he grabs your wrists and holds you in place.
You fight against his grip, and upon realizing that your struggling doesnât matter to him at all, you dig your nails into his wrists so hard you draw blood. He groans in pain and his grip on you loosens.
You snap your hands away and push yourself away, locking yourself in your apartment. Your neighbor lingers for a moment, shouting something at the door before trudging back into his apartment and slamming the door.
Jason snaps the laptop shut, coming to a stand once again. His fists clinch at his sides. âThat was not nothing.â
No, it wasnât. But you feel so helpless right now. You sure as hell felt it in the hallway, and it keeps lingering in you and youâre not sure why. You couldnât do anything then, you canât do anything nowâŠit feels like all the bad things in the world are closing in on you and you just have to let it happen.
âIâŠI donât want anyone to die because of meâŠâ your words arenât quite matching your thoughts, but this is the closest you can get right now.
He pulls back to look at you, brows furrowed. âItâsâitâs not because of you. Itâs because of him. Baby, if I were on patrol and saw him grab some other girl like that Iâd do the same thing.â
You know that. You know that. But communication seems impossible right now even though itâs the only tool you have to stop things from closing in.
âNo, I know that. I knowâŠitâs justâŠâ Things are closing in anyways. Alright, this is happening now. Your eyes start watering and your voice trembles.
âFuck, baby.â His hand flies to the back of your head, other arm wrapping around your middle, pulling you to him.
You feel a bit silly, crying over the potential death of someone who tried to hurt you, in front of the Red Hood of all people.
âIâm sorry, IâI donât know. Itâsâitâs too many bad things. I canâtâŠâ
âOkay. Okay. Itâs okay. Iâll stay here. Iâm staying here with you, okay?â You nod into his chest, tears dampening his shirt.
This is a temporary solution, you know that even now. But you think once it expires, it might be easier to accept whatever Jasonâs going to do later.
Heâs quiet for a few minutes, holding you in his arms as you sway back and forth lightly.
âWill you forgive me if I kill him?â He whispers into your hair.
You roll your eyes but smile nonetheless. âDonât.â
âIs that a yes?â
You pull back to look him in the eyes, face setting. âIâm getting the feeling youâre going to do something regardless of how this conversation ends.â He says nothing. âJust, please, donât kill him.â
He holds you tighter and you do the same, laying your head against his chest again. You feel him press a kiss to your head as he takes a deep breath.
You think on it for a moment, figuring it needs saying, âAnd donât get in trouble.â
Your neighbor comes home late that night, trudging through the front door with a perpetual frown. He opens the door to his notably unlocked apartment. He drops his bag on the ground with a thump and flicks on the lamp next to the door. He shuts the door and turns the lock when the red elephant in the room pipes up.
âHey, bud.â
He jumps, spinning around, âWho the fuckâoh, shit.â He freezes the second he sees him, sitting in the armchair across the room. The Red Hood nods, loading the gun in his hand.
Your neighbor stutters, âWhatâwhat are you doing here?â
He looks up at him, cocking the gun. âYou put your hands on your neighbor, yeah?â
He looks fake-shocked at the accusation. âWhat? No, I would neâwhich neighbor?â
He canât see it, but Hoodâs face drops into a deadpan. âThat is really not helping your case.â
Your neighbor eyes the gun nervously.
Hood sighs, âIâm not going to kill you. Iâve been told itâs bad manners to execute someone the first time you meet.â He glances down the nail marks on his arm and steels his jaw. âNo. Whatâs going to happen is youâre going to break your lease and move out. Within the next week.â
The neighbors eyes widen, âA week? Are you insane?â
Hood tilts his head a bit before shaking it, âNah, youâre right. By tomorrow night.â
âThis is my apartment. I live here, Iâm not going anywhere. And unless youâre secretly Saul the landlord under there, you canât do anything about it.â He crosses his arms, clearly feeling very proud of himself. Well, killing him isnât the only option, is it?
Hood stands, making his way across the room casually. âYeah, I thought youâd say that.â He clocks him hard on the head with the frame of his gun. He goes down quickly and loudly, clutching his head, groaning. âThe alternative is getting beaten half to death and hoping whatever hospital you end up at knows what theyâre doing.â
Honestly, neighbor boy is pressing his luck as is. Maybe it was a bad idea for Jason to bring the gun.
âFuck! Fine! Iâll go!â He wails.
Hood kicks his abdomen with the side of his boot, though not nearly as hard as he wanted to. âShut up. Youâll disturb the neighbors.â
The neighbor groans again, quieter. He mumbles something about Hood being crazy but it gets lost under the grunts of pain.
Hood crouches down next to him, patting him on the head with the barrel of his gun. âDonât worry, bud. Iâll check up on you. And if I ever see you so much as look in the general direction of another girl Iâll put a bullet in your head. Sound good?â
Your former neighbor drops his head to the ground, hand still clutching the growing swell on his forehead.
#these are all wildly different lengths my b#jason todd loves his gf#jason todd the doberman#jason todd x reader#jason todd imagine#jason todd x you#jason todd/you#jason todd/reader#jason todd fanfic#jason todd fanfiction#red hood x you#red hood imagine#red hood x reader#red hood fanfic#red hood fanfiction
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After All This Time (kmg)
When you're asked to be on the wedding party of a long-lost friend, you get the chance to reconnect with former classmate Mingyu, but not without your old feelings and struggles resurfacing.
pairing: groomsman!mingyu x bridesmaid!reader
w.c: 18,7k
genre: friends to lovers, fluff, smut, minor angst, it's another self-indulgent 'running away from your high school past' story from me.
warnings: alcohol consumption, a lot of not standing up for oneself, kind of unrealistic wedding timeline (i've never been a bridesmaid so bare with me), mingyu has no flaws here because... im in love with him, this might be badly written I can't really tell anymore | smut: it's messy, and rough, face sitting, unprotected penetration (don't do this), multiple orgasms (f). lmk if im missing anything
still into you by paramore - i often listened to this song while writing this. i wasn't particularly inspired by it but the title did come from its lyrics, and i think it's pretty fitting
The unopened letter stares at you from across the table. Trying to ignore it by doing your housekeeping chores is pointless. Scrubbing your toilet, doing your laundry, making your bed, and even cooking your meal preps for the entire week, nothing managed to take your head away from that stupid letter, wondering what could possibly be.
You and Olivia havenât spoken properly since graduating high school many years ago. The last time you had a full-on conversation with her was when she told you she started seeing a new guy freshman year in college, someone who went to your same high school but never knew. Besides that, your only form of âcommunicationâ was liking each other's Instagram stories and the yearly happy birthday text. A letter from her addressed to you was the last thing you expected to see today, or ever.
Curiosity finally wins as you take it and inspect it up close. The pastel pink envelope with golden details feels sturdy in your hands, and the wax seal is stamped with two initials, O and T. The boyfriendâs name appears in your memory as the realization hits you. Olivia and Thomas.
This is a wedding invitation.
Opening the envelope just confirms your thoughts, but thereâs more to it than just a mere invitation. Just below some details such as dress code and the plus one, thereâs a part specifically addressed to you asking you to be one of Oliviaâs bridesmaids. Your stomach turns, anxiety, and excitement battling it out in each of your organs. For one, itâs really heartwarming that she thought of you as a friend still and wants you to be a part of such a special day as her wedding. On the other side, itâll be awkward to see everyone again after such a long time, because, weirdly enough, you never encountered anyone you knew ever again, even if you didnât move away and still frequented same places as before.
Except, maybe that anxiety is just because of one person, whoâs probably going to be more than involved in this wedding. Cassie, your other best friend.
Being a trio was never a problem. Actually, itâs probably the better friend group arrangement for you. The three of you got along immediately since the first day of middle school and never looked back. It was always fun and comfortable, you thought you had found your best friends for life. But something happened around the age when girls start noticing boys, when everyone starts going on dates, flirting, kissing, getting into relationships. Thatâs when you realized you and Cassie had the exact same type. It became almost like a routine: youâd notice a cute guy around school but didnât say anything, and the next thing you know, at the next party Cassie would also notice him and hook up with him. You were sure you were in your very own Truman Show.
Was it partially your fault for not saying anything? Maybe, but did it have to happen with literally every single guy you were ever attracted to? It reached a point where you would constantly doubt yourself, compare yourself to her, was she cooler? Prettier? Smarter? Funnier?
In the end, it wasnât her fault, and youâd never blame her for that, but for your own good and the wellness of your crumbling self-confidence, you had to get away from that situation. And you did. At least until now. But itâs been years, youâre not the same person you were back in high school, and hopefully, all of your self-doubting was also left in the past.
A sky-high, lavish building stands before you in all of its glory. You were no stranger to your old friendâs rich family, but her lifestyle always managed to take you by surprise.
Olivia wanted all the bridesmaids and groomsmen to meet and get comfortable with each other, so she and her fiancĂ© arranged a little afternoon party at their apartment. Over the few texts you exchanged with Olivia, she failed to mention the other people on the wedding party. So during the elevator ride, you think of every possibility, who could be there that you know? With how many people from school has she kept in contact with? Will you know the groomâs friends?
The doorbell rings inside the busy apartment, and a few seconds later youâre welcomed by your old friend with a bright smile. You hug Olivia tightly, the weirdness of the situation fading away for a few seconds. Afterward, you greet everyone with a shy smile, recognizing some faces and encountering new ones. Some people are standing in groups of three or four, while others sit on the couch or a few scattered chairs, talking with each other comfortably.
âWhile we wait for the last people to arrive, I want to start telling you what I have planned.â
Olivia announces as you walk away slowly, and you find an empty wall by the hallway to rest against.
At least twenty minutes pass, in which Olivia doesnât take one breath, her happiness and excitement showing through her endless words. The wedding plan is not really out of the ordinary, but the scale of things, thatâs the impressive part. She has seven bridesmaids, including you, plus the maid of honor who hasnât arrived yet, and her fiancĂ© has the same number of grooms, plus the best man. Each of you will pair up throughout the days coming up to the ceremony, and on the big day, each pair will have matching outfits and even a dance scheduled after the coupleâs first dance as a married couple. Her idea was essentially thought so no one would feel out of place and enjoy the ceremony, because it should be a happy day for everyone.
While she explains everything for the second time, you take your time to look around the big room full of people. Scanning every face, there isnât really a lot of girls you know, but the groomsmen, on the other hand, all of them went to your same high school. It seems Oliviaâs fiancĂ© still hangs out with his same group of friends. One of them, in particular, sparks a little smile across your face.
Mingyu was the only other person you considered a real friend in school. As scary and anxiety inducing as it is to have classes without your small friend group, he made it more than bearable, enjoyable even. Becoming friends with the nerdy boy assigned as your lab partner is one of the things you remember fondly about those years of your life. He was like a breath of fresh air during all the turmoil. Would he remember you?
His eyes catch yours from across the room, and an instant smile forms across his lips. After all the years that passed, he still looks the same. Heâs much more mature and fully over puberty now, his broad bulky frame being one of the more standing out new things about him, but youâd recognize that confused expression and toothy smile with fangs peeking out anywhere. Your mood rapidly improves as he mouths a âhiâ and waves his hand lightly at you, not wanting to interrupt the bride to be. You repeat his greeting with a growing grin, but your small interaction is cut short.
âAnd Y/Nie,â your name catches your attention, and you turn to Olivia, âyou and Mingyu will be our last pair. Is that okay?â
The relief is immediate. It might be a little awkward, but at least youâll be with someone you know. You and Mingyu look at each other once again and then nod at her, but before she can continue with whatever she is saying, the entry door opens behind her.
âHi everyone!â The familiar voice makes your stomach drop, âIâm sorry Iâm late. My boss wouldnât let me go.â
âItâs fine. Itâs nothing the maid of honor hasnât heard before.â Olivia replies to her with a chuckle.
She looks the same too, only with longer hair and more mature features on her face. Her body language holds the same coolness, as sure of herself as she was when you were younger.
âOh my god! I havenât seen you in so long!â When she greets you, you straighten your posture, put on your best smile, and hug her back. âHow are you doing?â
âHey Cassie, good, good, just working my life away!â
You joke and try to ease up your emotions. Your few words manage to satisfy her as she nods with a smile, walks away, and pecks one of the groomsmen â her boyfriend? â on the lips before sitting by his side.
The schedule is easy for Olivia to finish explaining it, so in no time, food starts rolling in, and conversations pop up between everyone, either catching up or normal everyday chats. Cassie starts telling a story about something that happened earlier at her job, but you donât really understand it. You havenât talked to them in so long, you donât know what they do for a living, or where they work. You donât know them anymore, and youâre too afraid to ask.
To the side, a couple of people over, Mingyuâs talking with the rest of the grooms' friends comfortably. You want to talk to him, but what would you say? Itâs not like you were the closest of friends. You never hung out outside of the school, and your friend groups never actually interacted until now. Actually, you never told Olivia and Cassie about him. Maybe because you were afraid that if you introduced him to Cassie, heâd swoon over her like the rest of the guys you ever interacted with romantically.
An uneasy feeling creeps in on you as memories of your past fight to climb up on your memory. Feelings and thoughts you havenât felt in years come back up, almost reliving everything in a matter of milliseconds. You need to talk to someone, take your mind off of your overthinking. Because this is not the time nor the place to get so gloomy.
You get to talk with the rest of the bridesmaids, and the anxiousness of it all starts bubbling down, and youâre much more comfortable. A couple of them are close family friends with Olivia, also as rich as her, but still really nice girls, even if a little airheaded, and the rest are friends from college.
Time passes by easily, and soon enough, the sun is already set.
On the ride back home, your mind starts spiraling again. Do you even fit in with all those people? An invite to her wedding wouldâve been just fine, but a bridesmaid? You feel like a total stranger, someone from her past whoâs meddling around trying to sneak into a place she purposely left behind. At least you wonât have to see anyone ever again after the wedding is over.
It is said that changing your usual routine helps improving your mood, taking another path home, shopping at a new place, sitting down at a different park, trying a new coffee order, changing the little things to feel more energized and be more productive. You wouldnât know, because every task you complete as fast as possible to be back home quickly. So, after days of not being able to think about anything else but the upcoming wedding, itâs your only option left.
With the sky lit up with golden light, the grass and trees as green as ever, and a light breeze that prevents you from getting too hot, you walk around a park youâve never been to before, with your new âhot girl walkâ playlist as a soundtrack. The kids running around the playground are the only sounds that get through your ears besides the music, maybe a bark or two as well, and the sun against your skin soothes all your worries. Damn. Going on a walk does fix your mood.
A hand grabbing your arm softly startles you, and youâre about to punch the mystery person when you recognize his face.
âMingyu?â
His eyes are focused on your fist that was ready to hit him, and you lower it down, beginning to take out your airpods.
âSorry! You scared me!â You erupt in a nervous laughter.
âIâm sorry! I called your name but you didnât hear me.â He stands apologetic in front of you, looking down at his feet before daring to look back up. âHow are you doing? We didnât get to talk the other day.â
âYeah! Itâs good to see you! I didnât expect you to be there, it was a nice surprise.â Is it too weird to say that? Well, itâs already done.
He gets the tiniest bit shy at your words, his ears turning a light shade of pink before disappearing quickly.
You notice a bicycle by his side, a cute pink helmet with glittery heart stickers hanging by the handle. He mustâve been biking when he saw you and took it off before calling your name.
âI didnât know if you were still friends with Olivia, I didnât know if I was going to see you either.â
You fixate on the first part of his sentence, ignoring your bodyâs reaction to him implying he wanted to see you.
âOh, weâre not really that close anymore.â Thereâs a silence as you finish your words, as it wasnât the reply he was expecting. âLife, you know? We just grew apart.â
It was you who stopped making an effort to talk to her, but even if it was still for your own good, youâre a little ashamed to admit it to Mingyu.
âShe still asked you to be her bridesmaid. That must mean something.â Ever the positive guy, he tries to make you feel better after the sour comment.
âYeah, itâs really nice of her.â The sun shining so bright prevents you from looking up at him, but you smile, hoping he can see it.
The slow steps youâve been taking side by side turn awkward with silence. You wanted so badly to talk to him after the other day, but now that heâs here, in front of you, you canât think of anything.
âItâs good that you still hang out with the guys.â
You donât know what else to say, and the words spill out of your mouth. He doesnât seem to notice the awkward atmosphere, his body as comfortable as ever walking by your side.
âYeah, even though not as often as Iâd like.â A regretful smile forms across his lips. âOur schedules havenât been lining up, I met Olivia in person maybe a total of three times over the years.â
âWhat? Thereâs no way you didnât share any classes in school?â
He shakes his head, chuckling at your surprise.
âI think I only ever shared one class with her, but I didnât really care much about her crowd back then.â
âWow, thanks for that.â
He means all the popular guys your friends would hang out with, and you know it, but there was always something so fun in teasing him and seeing him get so pouty.
"You know I donât mean you.â
His shoulder pushes your body lightly to the side, and you chuckle together. Itâs hard to prevent the red from rushing to your cheeks. Maybe heâll mistake it for a faint sunburn.
âThatâs a cute helmet you got there.â Your eyes point to it as a way to distract him.
âOh, that?â He picks it up with what seems to be an embarrassed voice tone, but his actions quickly override it. He puts it on proudly and looks at you with his eyebrows raised, âmy sister gave it to me when I bought the bike, gets all the ladies.â
âI'm sure it does.â
Attention from women he for sure gets, but probably not because of that thing. His tall, muscular body is enhanced by the tight blue t-shirt he's wearing. You didnât get a proper look at him the other day, and now, standing next to him in broad daylight, you almost wish you could still live in the ignorance bliss of not knowing the exact height difference between you two.
âSo, what are you doing around here?â
His words make you realize youâve been staring for a few seconds, and you look ahead, hoping he didnât notice. He forgets to remove the helmet, making you chuckle quietly before answering.
âI just got off from work and thought it would be nice to take a different route home.â
âThatâs such a coincidence! I come here, like, almost every week to bike around.â
âWow, It really is.â
For how long have you been avoiding this specific park for no reason? Pushing away your chance of meeting the one and only person you wouldâve wanted to?
A ping from his phone alerts both of you, taking you out of your little bubble.
âSorry I-" His expression falls as he reads the new text, âI have to get going, but it was really nice seeing you!â
"Oh, sure! I didnât mean to hold you back.â It comes out quieter than youâd like. âGoodbye!â With a simple smile and a tiny wave at him, you turn around.
Right when he gets on his bicycle again, before he starts pedaling, he looks back at you, taking your first step in the opposite direction.
âWait!â When you turn around, heâs taking his phone out of his front pocket, âCan I get your number?â
The both of you blush at his words, and you look up at him cautiously.
âSo we can catch up and, you know, get comfortable with each other for the wedding.â
You had already forgotten about that. The reason you even met him again in the first place.
âSure!â
Your hand trembles slightly when you take his phone, and you mentally beat yourself up for it. Itâs just your number! It could mean nothing.
âIâll text you later so you can save mine.â
And with a wink, heâs off to whatever he was late to.
Great. Now youâre not only re-living your high-school anxieties but also your high-school crushes.
During the following days, you find yourself checking your phone more often than ever, always with the hope that youâll get a new message from Mingyu. Texting almost every day since the encounter at the park, the time when youâre both free to talk has become your favorite part of the day.
It started shyly, merely updating the other about your lives since finishing high school, your jobs, and hobbies. But as time passed, the never-ending conversation eased onto your daily routines. Youâd wake up and text Mingyu, update him as you arrive at work. Lunch, break, evening, clocking out, dinner. Every little free time you got, youâd text each other back and forth.
A text notification cheers you up constantly, thinking that it could possibly be him again. But itâs not always the case, like this time.
Itâs Olivia reminding you that, in exactly 29 minutes, you have the dance rehearsal with all the maids and grooms. Half an hour, and you live 1 hour away from the studio she rented. A little white lie never hurt anyone, so you tell her something came up and you'll be just a little late.
You love weddings, but if you had to choose one thing you donât like about them, it would definitely be the dancing. You canât dance for shit. Youâd tell your right leg to move forward, and your left leg would move backwards, like your body canât comprehend instructions when theyâre related to dancing. Usually, you stay in your seat, choosing not to embarrass yourself in front of all the guests, but this time, you canât get out of it. Poor Mingyu will leave the class with at least five bruises on his feet from you stepping on him.
The dance studio is part of a new, contemporary looking building on the exact geographic center of the city, a place you would always pass by but never thought youâll get to enter. Standing at the front desk, over half an hour late, you feel too out of place. Your clothes are probably wrong, your hair is completely disheveled, you donât remember on which floor is your class, and you donât even know the name of the dance teacher.
After a long discussion with the receptionist, she finally understands what youâre here for and lets you go up to the 13th floor.
The walk from the elevator to the studio feels longer than it actually is. Three to four footsteps become long, slow turtle-like steps. But not even the infinite time you spend taking four steps prepare you for your stomach to drop down to the basement at the sight of Mingyu dancing with Cassie as soon as you open the door.
His hands on her waist, her arms around his neck, dancing slowly in circles, laughing about something she just said, you can almost hear something inside you break. After all this time, nothing really changed.
âHey! Youâre finally here!â
Oliviaâs voice brings you back to earth.
âHi! Iâm really sorry I couldnât get here sooner.â The dance teacher gives you a look, and you lower down your voice, âSo how is this going?â
âWe had to put them together,â she points the dreaded pair, directing your eyes to them once again, âbecause neither you or Tyler were here when we started, but after the songâs over you can join him and Iâll practice with Cassie, okay?â
You nod with the best spirit you can manage to express.
âIs Tyler the guy she was with the other day?â
You donât forget to whisper so the class isnât interrupted by your chatter.
âHeâs the only one of Tom's friends whoâs not from school, donât worry, you didnât erase him from your memory.â
You stifle a laugh before it gets loud.
âGood, I was starting to feel bad about not recognizing him.â
In reality, his existence doesnât matter much to you either way, except for something. âAre him and Cassie a thing?â
âShe says itâs something casual but, and donât tell her about this, I paired them up together on purpose so they can finally realize that they like each other!â
Your lungs clear of air in an instant after hearing those words. Sheâs not available. She has a boyfriend, sort of. A boyfriend who you do not know nor have feelings for.
âYour secret's safe with me.â
âMingyu's nice and all, but if he messes with my plan and charms her, I will personally revoke his invitation to the wedding.â
You both chuckle just as the song finally ends, yours quieter than hers. Both of them see you with Olivia, but only Cassie comes forward to say hi.
âHey girls! Good to see you!â She gives you a little hug before directing to Olivia. âSo⊠Tyler isnât showing up, I assume.â
âHe told me a few minutes ago that something came up and canât come, sorry.â
Her hand flies to Cassie's shoulders to comfort her, but she doesnât seem bummed by the news.
âWell, then, I have something to ask you.â
Her presence suddenly becomes overwhelming as she grins at you with a proposition in mind, seemingly all thought out.
âAre you close with Mingyu? Olivia told me you were classmates.â
How did she know? Maybe you did tell her about him after all.
âHe used to be my lab partner. Why?â
âHow did you not crush on him back then? Heâs such a cutie.â
âI probably did, I donât remember.â Lie.
âCould you find out if he has a girlfriend, pleeease?â
A buzzing sound is all you hear for a few seconds, like your brain forgets how to function. Words donât come out, and youâre freezed in place as Cassie looks at you expectantly. To the side, Olivia looks just as puzzled by her request.
âW-why?â
âBecause, heâs really hot and, if I need a quick rebound because of that other fucker, I need to know Iâm not messing with a relationship.â
Silence is all you produce once again.
âI just need a tiny bit of info, and itâll be weird if I ask him directly, so could you please try?â
âSure⊠Iâll try, but Iâm not promising anything.â
Youâve never sounded less excited about something in your whole life. You love some gossip and some drama, but not if it involves a genuinely nice guy like Mingyu being used. Or maybe itâs just because itâs him.
âThank you, thank you, thank you.â
Cassie jumps excitedly and hugs you once again, just as the dance teacher calls for everyone to gather.
Mingyuâs hands slot carefully at the sides of your waist, guiding you swiftly and sparking goosebumps across your back. Your arms wrap awkwardly around his neck, making him crouch a bit so you can look properly at each other.
âWere you always this good? Or did you become a professional waltz dancer in the half hour I wasnât here?â
You remember him telling you the other day, during your endless text conversations, that he, like you, wasnât particularly excited about dancing.
âLetâs say, hypothetically, that I practiced before coming here, what would that say about me? Hypothetically.â
âIt would say that,â you drown out a cackle before you can continue, âyou take your duty as a groomsman very seriously, hypothetically.â
âGood, I wouldnât want you to think I was a dork, hypothetically.â
âYouâre too late, I already thought that.â
A pout forms on his mouth at your giggles, and he flashes the world's most menacing puppy eyes ever.
âI mean it in the best way possible!â
âIsnât it embarrassing?â
âItâs cute!â
His face shifts with skepticism, sending enough signals saying he didnât like your choice of words.
âItâs charming!â
The warmth his body emanates wraps around you fast. His expectant eyes looking down at you and the closeness of your bodies rises your temperature in record time, your cheeks pinking up furiously. You keep talking as the nervousness takes over you.
âAt least it worked! Youâre a really good dancer, Iâm sorry I keep missing the beats.â
âYouâre giving me too much credit. Youâre not that bad.â
âNow youâre just lying. My limbs are physically unable to coordinate more than three steps. Youâre guiding me through every single one!â
His hands tighten just the tiniest bit around your waist, like a confirmation for the both of you that theyâre still there.
The teacherâs voice echoes all around you until it finally punctures your bubble, and youâre able to hear the class youâre here for. The steps sheâs explaining for a second time make no sense in your head, too many turns and moves for you (and your body) to comprehend.
âI need all the pairs to practice the final steps again.â
Only her final words make sense on your mind, and when you look towards Mingyu, his hand left its place on your body and is extended at you, his eyes kind yet concentrated back on the dance. You nod, taking his hand with an electrifying rush going through your veins.
Mingyu guides you firmly but with care, moving along the beats of the waltz. With each step, your synchronization improves, and the moves flow along easily, your bodies understanding each other. You canât help but smile as you look him in the eyes, a familiar warm feeling bubbling up inside you.
âYou're doing a really good job.â
His eyes catch yours, a little wrinkle forming by each of their sides before he cracks a smile to match yours. Thereâs something in the way he looks like when paying attention to you, like a spell being casted on you, making you crave more.
âItâs because itâs comfortable with you.â
Your mouth betrays you and sends out the words without checking with your brain, but weirdly enough, you donât fear his reaction. Itâs just the truth.
âWeâre more in synch than you thought.â
You swear you see a glimpse of a smirk before he spins you in his arms.
As you turn and move together through the song, you think your excitement isn't solely because of the rehearsal going well. It could be simply a wish, but a spark of something is definitely lighting up. The way Mingyu holds you, attentive and confident, you can't help to think he feels it too.
âYou think we can be this good the day of the wedding?â
Thereâs more anticipation than curiosity in your voice, remembering youâll keep meeting until then, youâll keep seeing him.
Mingyu reaches closer until his warm breath fans your ear and his lips graze your cheek.
âWe could meet a few days before and practice, like I hypothetically did today.â
âYou think I need practice?â You tease to hide the blush creeping up your cheeks.
âMaybe itâs an excuse to see you again.â
A mix of shyness and giddiness overtakes you as you giggle at his proposition. But in the midst of your interaction, you skip a crucial move and begin to turn, stepping right on one of Mingyuâs feet and almost tripping over to the side. His hand secures you by the waist, the hem of your t-shirt raised just enough so his fingers brush your fiery bare skin.
âOk, maybe I do need the practice too.â
The teacher talks to you on the background, but itâs hard to concentrate on anything other than Mingyuâs touch lighting fires across your body, his worried eyes over your âalmostâ fall, and his smile when he realizes youâre laughing at your clumsiness.
The music starts over, and you only realize it because his hand is extended at you once again.
âLetâs give it another try.â
âSo, you didnât get to ask him?â
âIâm sorry, I forgot about it. I was so focused on learning the dance that it slipped my mind.â
Running into Cassie coming out of the subway was the last thing you expected (and wanted) right now. Trying on dresses is the one bridesmaid related thing you were least excited about. So many hours of putting clothes on and off, picking colors, showing the rest of the girls, giving your opinion on their dresses, and listening to their opinions on yours. It just sounds so exhausting. But your mental pep talk got interrupted when Cassie saw you walking up the stairs of the station heading to the bridal shop.
âItâs okay, donât worry about it.â
âHe didnât say anything that would imply he has one, if that helps.â
More than a helping hand to her, you're starting to hope heâs single too.
âThatâs good to know, thank you.â
âI donât really get why you wanted to know, though. I thought you had a boyfriend.â
âHeâs not... I mean, itâs not like, official. I wanted him to get jealous, but I'm over that now.â
âOh, so... you talked about it with him?"
âKind of... he just explained why he couldnât come to the rehearsal, and I just, couldnât get mad at him simply for that, right?â
âRight...â
You know virtually nothing about their ârelationshipâ, or about him for that matter, so itâs maybe for the best to stay out of their⊠thing.
âAnyway, about today, do you have something in mind for your dress?â
âNot really, I was just thinking of browsing through the store and seeing what they have.â
âWow, really? Youâre so chill about it. I have a pinterest board with all the styles and shapes I like. I even checked their online store to see what they have in stock beforehand.â
âThatâs⊠actually really smart.â
âNah, donât be nice. Did you at least think of a color? Olivia wants all of us to be different colors, but in pastel, obviously. I personally didnât really care about it, but I chose pink after some thought.â
âOh, actually, I didn't know that.â
âItâs okay, you can decide when we get there.â
âDid the rest of the girls choose already?â
âMaybe? I havenât had the chance to ask them.â
âI hope I donât get green then, I donât really like how it looks on me.â
âYouâll look amazing either way. Donât let a simple color wear you down!â
Small talk with Cassie turns out to be quite nice in the short walk you have up to the store. It's a pretty shallow conversation, but not at all stressful like you thought.
The place is really fancy looking, tall glass windows and blinding white interior. It makes you take a breath just by looking at the displayed dresses. Relieved that Olivia said multiple times that sheâll take care of everything and not to worry about the prices, you and Cassie walk inside.
You didnât expect every girl to be already there, and you especially didnât expect the groomsmen to be also all there. The girls browse through racks and racks of different shaped and colored dresses, and the men are sitting back, talking with one another, waiting for their bridesmaid to ask for their opinion.
Cassie goes straight to greet Mingyu with a hug. Even if he isnât the closest one to the door. Even if Tyler is there also. And you walk behind her, slowly, shy because of all the people aware of your arrival. You give Mingyu a shy smile as a greet, and he returns it warmly.
After the dance rehearsal all those days back, youâve been hesitant about contacting him again. Thereâs nothing wrong with him. Itâs quite the opposite, actually. Heâs caring, attentive, and kind towards you. You just donât want to fall in your black hole of a crush on him again. especially after Cassie made it clear to you that heâs caught her eye too. Sure, she just told you she made up with her boyfriend, but her actions are already contradicting her words.
Olivia sees you with Cassie and walks quickly towards you two with a smile on her face.
âHey girls! How do you like the store?! Isnât it huge?â
âItâs unbelievable! Iâm gonna need at least two hours to look through all the dresses!â
Cassie answers, staring at the lengthy room in awe. You can feel Mingyuâs eyes on you. Or maybe on Cassie. Regardless, youâre in his line of sight, and it gives you chills.
âWell, you have all the time in the world today. I reserved the whole store for the entire day for all of us, and the staff is also here to help us if needed, so donât worry about asking for help!â
âThatâs amazing!â You both exclaim at the same time.
âThank you!â Cassie doesnât look back and goes straight to the racks of pink dresses. Youâre about to go and walk around as well. Maybe try to find a color that suits you, but Olivia stops you before you can even take a step.
âWait! I got the list of the available colors left for you,â she hands you a sheet of paper with almost everything on it crossed out, âIâm sorry, I know there isnât much left.â
âOh donât worry, itâs fine. I shouldâve picked it earlier. Itâs not your fault.â
Itâs disappointing to see that only two items arenât crossed out. Light teal and pastel green. Green and teal arenât ugly colors by any means, but you always feel awkward when wearing them, so youâve learned to avoid them. The back of your throat itches to close as you think about looking ugly at the wedding, in front of so many people, in front of him.
âI saw some of the teal dresses earlier, and theyâre all super cute! Youâll look amazing!â
âOh, ok, Iâll go check them out. But, just in case, isnât there any way for me to change colors?â
âYou could ask someone to swap with you.â
Your mind instantly goes to Cassie. Earlier, she told you she didnât care which color she wore, maybe she wouldnât mind switching with you. You spot her easily on one corner, asking Mingyu about his opinion. She looks up at him with glittery eyes as one of her hands places itself on his arm. The sight turns your stomach upside down. You want to stop watching the scene as much as you want to break them apart.
Your legs make the decision for you and walk you to where theyâre standing. They donât notice you walking over to them until you speak up.
âHey, sorry to interrupt you guys, but Cassie, could I ask you something?â
Mingyuâs the first one to look up at you, his face lighting up as you interrupt whatever Cassie was saying to him. Sheâs slower, making sure to hang the dress back on the rack before turning to face you.
âWhat do you need?â
There's very little annoyance on her tone, but you donât miss the way her eyebrows arch and her eyes dart to Mingyu, signaling you that she wants some alone time.
âI wanted to ask if you, by any chance, were willing to switch colors with me?â
âWhat happened? Which ones are left?â
âBasically, just green.â
âOh, thatâs such a bummer.â
Thereâs a silence when she finishes talking. You wait for her to continue, blinking at her, but she just doesnât. Her sentence ended there.
âYeah, so, would you swap with me?â
âIâŠâ Her body language turns awkward as she thinks of an answer, side-eyeing Mingyu, whoâs also waiting for her, but with no context to what youâre asking her.
âI just, you said you didnât really care about the color, so I thought you wouldnât mind changing it.â
You huff, not helping the awkward atmosphere around the three of you. Your eyes connect with Mingyuâs, who's silently watching the interaction from the side. You hate that heâs seeing you in such a state, so... desperate for something thatâs not that big of a deal anyway. You need this interaction to be over.
âYouâre right, I did say that,â you can already see where this is going, âbut, I kinda already put my mind to it, and it took a lot of convincing to get Tyler to match with me. He already bought his suit, and I donât want to make him mad by changing everything so suddenly, Iâm sorry.â
âOhâŠâ
You can feel your stomach contracting, your throat threatening to close, your eyes getting ready to be filled with tears. This is so stupid. Itâs just a stupid color. It's a stupid dress youâll never wear again. Why is it affecting you so much?
âWait, Iâm sure Tyler wouldnât mind changing.â
Mingyuâs soft voice sounds closer to you, but you canât really see much with your eyes trained to the ground and vision blurry from tearing up.
âNo, itâs fine, letâs not bother him.â
Blinking away the tears is easy, but looking up and finding a concerned Mingyu makes you feel like jelly. Cassieâs long forgotten as you focus on him, his tall figure watching over you, his hand placed on your shoulder, squeezing lightly, silently comforting you.
âIâll go try and find something I like.â
âI can look with you if you want.â
âNo, itâs fine, you can go back to what you were doing.â
You walk away, leaving him standing there, still worried about your sudden reaction. Cassie is just behind him, waiting for the opportunity to get his attention back.
But you try not to think about him or her while browsing through the store. Trying your best to be positive, to not get dragged down by a simple color choice, or by a friend â if you can call her that â that couldnât help you.
Hours go by, and itâs easier when you focus on other things. You help the other girls decide on their dresses, reacting and applauding, helping them find new ones if they arenât satisfied. Itâs fun, contrary to what you previously thought, itâs like playing a dress up game, except every now and then, itâs Cassie who comes out on the make-shift runway, and the first opinion she asks for is always Mingyu's.
At one point, everyone has already decided, and youâre the only one left. All the girls you helped come together to try and find you the best possible dress, bringing a new one to you with hopeful smiles on their faces every few minutes.
You try them on, eager to find one and be done with it. But, even if they look gorgeous when on the hanger, they always got something that doesnât sit right with you when you put them on. And after trying dress after dress, you grow more discouraged.
Olivia notices how tired you are and tells you that you can come back another day, alone and less anxious, but then again, that would mean stretching the situation for longer than needed. You decide to try on one more dress, one that Olivia picked specifically for you, and if youâre not satisfied, youâll come back with her the next day.
The store lady helps you put the dress on, her sweet smile never fading, even if itâs the tenth dress she helped you put on already. The pastel green silk fabric glides smoothly over your skin, hugging you in the right places as the lady zips it up. Your backâs facing the mirror, too afraid to look in it again and find another disappointing result.
âSweetheart, I think this is the one.â
The kind womanâs voice startles you, but her honest smile makes you believe her words. You inhale deeply, calming yourself before turning around. But instead of looking at your reflection, you walk outside the changing room and onto the lobby.
Every pair of eyes is on you the moment you step out, your arms wrap around your torso in an effort to shield yourself, and you can feel your cheeks being painted a bright red color. A few gasps are heard, and when you look around, the girls who helped you are all covering their mouths, eyes wide as they watch you cautiously strolling forward.
At the back of the store, itâs like time stops for Mingyu. Whatever he was doing, forgotten at the sight of you. He was unaware of how much your appearance could affect him. His eyes are trained on you, allured by your figure, scanning you up and down like a piece of art worth studying.
Buzz erupts all around you, mumbles and praises about your dress and how you look in it, but itâs all background noise for you. Mingyuâs heavy stare finds yours, and his ears turn a faint shade of pink. The subtlest smirk begins to form on his lips, spreading the warm feeling on your tummy all across your body. He canât seem to drive his eyes away from you, and you donât want him to. Your arms relax under his gaze, disarming the protective shield around you and drop to hang by your sides.
But, in a matter of seconds, the girls swarm around you, blocking all 360 degrees around you. Their positive opinions flood your ears as they walk you back to the dressing room, trying to convince you to choose this dress. You canât look back, but youâre sure all the groomsmen left together.
Doesnât matter. Youâre definitely getting this one.
After spending the whole day shopping together, it marvels you how these girls still want to spend time together. When they noticed all the boys left, they planned an impromptu girls' night at Oliviaâs apartment.
Itâs amazing how they can spend hours and hours talking with each other, a few drinks here and there, never running out of topics, entertaining you when youâre too tired to talk.
Your phone vibrates in your pocket, and you sit back on your side of the couch to read the new text.
Mingyu: hey, how are you?
Mingyu: sorry i couldnât stay today, they dragged me to a boys night
Everything that happened a few hours ago flashes through your mind, waking a giddy smile on your face as you reply.
You: why are you sorry?
You: the girls wanted to do a âboys freeâ night, weâre at Oliviaâs rn
Mingyu: i didnt want to leave before making sure you were okay
Oh.
You: im better now
You: it was fun helping the other girls, took my mind off of it
You: but thank you, you didnt have to worry
Mingyu: good to know :)
Mingyu: next time ill drive you home
You: drive me home? Will i sit on the bike's handlebar?
Mingyu: i was thinking more like a piggyback ride
You: hmm... ill have to think about it
You tune back to the conversation before anyone notices you not paying attention, having no idea what turns the topic has taken in the time you werenât listening.
âI think heâs definitely seeing someone.â
The girls divided into two groups with different conversations going on, but sitting in front of Cassie, you can only hear her side of the table. They might be talking about Tyler and their ârelationshipâ problems.
âI really donât think he is. He didnât use his plus one you know.â
A smile forms in your mouth when your phone vibrates in your hand once again.
Mingyu: can you believe the weddingâs so close already
You: times moving so fast
You: i cant believe its less than two weeks away
Mingyu: it feels like it was only yesterday that tom told me he was getting married
âBut today, he didnât seem at all interested, he was really out of it from the start.â
âMaybe seeing dresses all day is not his thing.â
âNo but like, I tried every move on him, and he didnât even bat an eye.â
Bits and pieces of the still going conversation manage to register on your mind, and you realize theyâre talking about Mingyu, unaware of your current chat with him.
You: is the boys only hang out getting boring? Its not very polite to be on the phone you know
Mingyu: theyre all playing games, havent looked my way in over 30 mins
Mingyu: besides i much rather talk with you
You: well i wont argue with that
Mingyu: you seem bored too
You: youâre definitely helping me get through the night
âMaybe heâs just not interested in you.â
Olivia teases Cassie, even though her comment is more than just a joke. But why is Cassie so adamant on wooing Mingyu if, according to Olivia, she really likes Tyler?
âIâll be the judge of that.â
Mingyu: you know what I just realized
Mingyu: I forgot the dance routine already
You: omg me too
You: we might have to meet to practice like you said
Mingyu: we can do it at my place
Mingyu: you up for it?
You: i should ask you that
You: your feet are going to suffer because of me
Mingyu: thatâs a risk im willing to take
Mingyu: but I gotta warn you, I take my practice very seriously
You: sure, you can carry me back to my apartment after we're done
Sitting on Mingyuâs couch, waiting for him to get back from the bathroom, youâre too tired to do anything else than looking around his living room. Itâs so him. The warm and neutral colors make everything feel cozy, with pictures of him and his family hanging on the walls â no ambiguously romantic photos with unfamiliar girls, and everything is so tidy, not one pillow out of place, even after practicing for over an hour. Out the window, you can see the sun starting to set, and the buildings across the street start lighting up. You recognize all of them.Â
All this time, heâs lived so close to you. His building barely a ten minute walk away from yours. You canât help but wonder, what wouldâve happened if you kept in touch, if you just walked two more minutes to the park he frequents, or sent him a follow request on Instagram the few times he popped up on your recommended. It comforts you that at least you have this chance to reconnect with him, to make things right.Â
But sounding confident over text is easy, and now, youâve only danced for the whole time youâve been here, barely even talked about anything else.Â
Itâs conflicting, the guilt of meeting with Mingyu behind everyoneâs back â even if itâs no oneâs business â, the excitement of seeing him alone after weeks of only wedding related stuff, and the actual need to practice the dance so you donât embarrass yourself, all colliding in your mind, making everything awkward for you.Â
Like ten thousand spectators, the windows of every apartment watch you through the glass, just sitting, waiting. Mingyu left only a couple of minutes ago, but after the many times you stepped on him, you wonder if heâs actually hurt.Â
âAre you okay? Tell me if I need to call a doctor for your feet!âÂ
You shout with your head looking towards the bathroom door. His chuckle travels all the way to your ears before he opens the door.Â
âIâm fine, I swear.âÂ
As he comes out, your body tingles with nervousness once again. He sits beside you on the couch, unknowingly making your head spin.Â
âYou sure? I donât think feet are supposed to withstand all of that.âÂ
âIâm okay, just tired, why donât we rest for a bit?âÂ
They way he sits, on his side, facing you, and his arm resting on the back of the couch, your eyes canât help but wander to where his arm muscles start showing. Every variation of the phrase âbutterflies in your stomach" could describe the way you feel as he watches you, paying so much attention that you mumble your next sentence.Â
âThis couch is way too comfortable. It makes me want to just stay here the rest of the day.âÂ
âLetâs do it! We can even have dinner here. If we order take out, we can tell them to leave it at the door.âÂ
âThat sounds nice, but one of us will have to go get it.âÂ
âWhen my roommate comes home, heâll bring it inside for us.âÂ
âOh my god, you have a roommate? When is he coming back? I donât want to be a bother.â You look towards the entry hallway, like heâs about to come in and kick you out.Â
You really donât want to leave, Mingyuâs company is already becoming one of your favorites, but you hadnât counted on being around another person, and in their home for that matter. You start to get up from where youâre sitting, worried about having overstayed your welcome, but Mingyuâs hand grabs yours softly and drags you back down.Â
âI invited you here. Itâs not like youâre trespassing.âÂ
âBut Iâve been here for hours, is it not too much?âÂ
âI guess I don't want you to leave.âÂ
His hand hasn't let go of yours, his skin against yours waking up your whole nervous system. You like how it feels when heâs looking at you, but you canât help feeling too observed under his gaze.Â
âShould we practice one more time?â You get up as your other hand takes Mingyuâs free one to try and get him off the couch too. He doesnât fight your push, but you still struggle to move him barely an inch.Â
âNow that I think about it, my feet do really hurt.âÂ
When he stands up, your hands dreadly separate as you go press play on the song you had paused earlier.Â
âYouâre a big and strong man, you can handle one more dance.âÂ
The music starts slowly, and when you turn around to go where Mingyuâs standing, heâs quick to put his hands around your waist and bring you to him.Â
Like that day in the dance class, your bodies are quickly coordinated. Youâve been over the same dance for over an hour now, so at this point, every step is engrained in your muscle memory forever.Â
âWhy donât you take the lead on this one?â He mightâve felt your sudden confidence in the moves, but fails to realize itâs only because youâre doing it with him.Â
âDo you have a death wish? The last time I tried to take the lead on a dance like this, it ended really badly.âÂ
âBut youâre doing good now! Iâm sure it couldnât have been that bad.âÂ
âDonât you remember the senior prom? When I made my date trip and he fell onto the chocolate fountain? He got completely covered in melted chocolate.â He shakes his head, making you more confused. âHe dislocated his shoulder. You really donât remember?Â
âI donât-â He chuckles at your story but stops his words when he realizes you donât get what he wants to say, âWe left early.âÂ
âOh⊠I guess you had a good time with your date.â Thinking about him with someone else puts a bad taste in your mouth.Â
âI didnât have a date, I went with the guys.â Somehow, thatâs less believable than you being a good dancer.Â
âI vaguely remember seeing you dance with a girl. Is my memory failing me?â You remember because you hated it.Â
âMaybe I did dance with someone, but I couldnât score a real date.âÂ
âYou canât be serious.âÂ
âI am! Why donât you believe me?Â
âBecause I knew at least ten girls who had a crush on you back then.âÂ
The dance is already forgotten. None of you make the effort to go over the moves. With your arms hanging around his neck and his hands holding on to your waist, youâre just going around in slow circles, eyes connected as your talk turns into something more.Â
âWell, I wasnât interested in them.âÂ
âBut still, you couldâve easily gotten a date.â You could let the subject go, and maybe you should, but you really want to make your point. âI wouldâve gone with you.âÂ
âDonât say things you donât mean.âÂ
âBut I mean it.âÂ
âYou wouldnât have gone with me.âÂ
âYou donât know that.âÂ
âYes I do!â His tone gets serious, and it just makes you more desperate to make him understand. He needs to know heâs wrong.Â
âNo, you donât! You would know if you had asked!âÂ
âI wanted to!Â
You stop in your tracks, looking straight into his eyes, seeing little hints of shock on his face as he realizes what he said. If your bodies were closer, youâre afraid he could feel that you stopped breathing for a second.Â
âWhy didnât you?âÂ
âBecause I knew at least ten guys who had crushes on you back then,â youâre about to shut him off, but he continues, âand you did end up going with one of them.âÂ
âSo, you did see me.âÂ
âYeah, didnât stay much after that."
None of you know what to say, as your minds work tirelessly to understand what this conversation means.Â
âYou really shouldâve asked me.â Thereâs so much more you want to say, but you simply canât.Â
âYou were kind of popular and, I donât know⊠It messed with my head.âÂ
âI didnât care about those stupid labels, and I thought you didnât either.âÂ
âI know you didnât, but I wasnât a confident kid back then, I couldnât just go up to the girl I liked and ask her out.âÂ
Your jaw reaches the floor after hearing those words. The girl he liked?Â
Speechless for a few seconds, you can only look at him, trying to figure out if he meant to say those words specifically. He seems to be proud of what he said, showing no sign of regret.Â
âSo, now that youâre all grown upâŠâ you dare to let your fingers caress the skin at the base of his neck, and his hands tighten around you at the touch.Â
âOne would think that, after so many years, things wouldâve changed but-âÂ
âI donât believe youâre not confident by now.âÂ
âThat did change, but apparently, other things didnât, even after growing up.âÂ
He tilts his head to the side cockily, his piercing gaze making you feel hot all over.Â
âMaybe some things arenât meant to change.â Like an adrenaline rush, itâs your turn to feel confident as one of your hands starts playing with the hair at the nape of his neck. âI'm starting to discover some things are not that different for me either.âÂ
âCould it be, perhaps, the same thing Iâm talking about?â His arms wrap around your waist, bringing you closer to him little by little.Â
âHmm, I donât know, youâre being very vague, I could be talking about still enjoying country music.â You joke so he doesnât notice your heart beating twice as hard as normal.Â
âI think you know what I mean.â His smirk is one new thing about him, not that youâve never seen it before, but the reason behind it makes it way more thrilling to see now.Â
âI want to hear you say it.âÂ
âYou really didnât know? I mean, back then, I always thought I made it obvious.â His chuckle sends shivers down your spine.Â
âI wish I did.â You canât help but think about how your life would be if you made a move on him all those years ago. âBut I never said anything either, I was shy too.âÂ
âGood thing we can make up for the time we lost.â
His droopy eyes send you down a spiral you have a hard time coming back from, all your insides becoming putty, feeling his want through his embrace, but thereâs still one more thing to get to.Â
âYou know⊠you say youâre so confident now and whatnot, but I still havenât heard you say it.â The look you give him is all he needsÂ
âFine, you win, I used to like you, and seeing you again made me realize I still kinda really do, Iâm always eager to get your attention and to spend time with you.â He pauses to take the quickest breath ever, all while youâre losing yours. âI know weâre not the same people as back then, but if you want to, we can get to know each other, again, more mature and less stupid. I have my regrets about how I handled my feelings in the past, but I wonât make the same mistakes again. And I will ask you on a date after the wedding, just a heads up.âÂ
âWow, I was fine with just an âI like youâ, but itâs nice to see youâre just as down bad for me as I am for you.â You confess with a joke because, how can you possibly answer that? Your brain is barely receiving enough oxygen as it is.Â
âAnd one last thing, I really, really, really, want to kiss you right now.âÂ
âThen why are you not doing it?âÂ
It takes a second for the words to register in his head. A second where you only look at each other, almost not believing whatâs happening. The air around you gets so thick, so hot, almost unbearably heavy. And just when your hands begin to push his head your way, his lips attack yours. Â
All the resurfacing feelings come to life, colliding like a thousand stars that have been running to meet for millions of years. His arms around you bring your body closer to his, forcing you on your tiptoes to follow his lead while his hair tangles between your fingers.Â
It's surprisingly slow, yet hungry and desperate, making the other feel everything through the connection of your lips. You move along with him naturally, and when he bites your lower lip as a request for access, you donât hesitate. His hands creep under your shirt just as his tongue dares to move past your lips, exploring your whole body to his liking.Â
Your chests flush together, leaving little to no space between your bodies, and you can do nothing but melt in his embrace. Your hands wander around his arms and back, touching and feeling every muscle they encounter on their way. When his hands travel down your lower back and reach your ass, you sigh on his lips and immediately feel his smirk against you.Â
A furious knock on the door makes you both jump and separate, leaving you looking at each other, breathless and with confused faces, until you hear a knock again, as strong as the first one. Thatâs when Mingyu decides to check his phone and sees it's his roommate, who had apparently forgotten his keys. Both a blessing and a curse.Â
âBro, what the hell? Iâve been calling you for about 15 minutes.â You hear the door opening, followed by a new, deep voice.Â
âI told you I had company.â Their voices echo through the hallway.Â
When they finally reach the living room where youâve been awkwardly trying to make yourself look presentable, the roommate's face morphs into something, a mix of surprise and realization. You rush to gather your stuff after muttering some variation of âhelloâ and 'goodbye' to him. Your heart still pumps twice as fast as normal, and you donât trust youâll be able to handle yourself if you stay for longer.Â
âIâll see you on the weekend?â Mingyu asks when youâve both reached the entry, his hand on the handle, hesitant to unlock the door.Â
You want to kiss him again so badly. His lips are parted, still swollen, calling to you to connect them with yours again.Â
âFind me when you crash the bachelorette party.â You make your best effort to sound confident and not at all dizzy because of him. Â
âYou know about that?âÂ
âThe bridesmaids know everything... Itâs only a surprise for Olivia.â You peck him goodbye, like a promise for more. And the feeling of his lips on yours lasts all night.
Itâs roughly around 1 am. when a high-pitched scream from Olivia announces to everyone at the bar that the bachelor party has officially arrived.Â
The effects from all the alcohol you consumed in the last 4 hours are just starting to fade, only a little buzz left. But that doesnât prevent you from seeing whatâs happening all the way across the room.Â
Mingyu standing with his hip resting on the barstool, listening to Cassie as she drunkenly asks him something. You want to stop looking, not wanting to let all your previous feelings resurface again, not after the recent development in your relationship with him. But just as soon as youâre about to turn your head the other way, Mingyu interrupts Cassieâs rumbling and tells her something, to which she doesnât respond, nods awkwardly, and just walks away, leaving him standing there.Â
Thatâs your signal to walk over to him.Â
âLooks like I found you first.âÂ
âDamn, I wanted to get you a drink first.âÂ
The music and the people drunkenly signing and shouting makes it hard for your voices to reach the other, and Mingyu takes the opportunity to take a step closer to you.Â
You stand against the bar as the room grows warmer and warmer the closer his body gets to yours. His height taunts you as he stands against the bar as well, forcing you to look up so you can see the smirk on his face. His fingers play with yours as the intensity of his stare increases. You donât care that youâre in public, that anyone from the wedding can see you two. Maybe you want them to.Â
âHowâs your night going?â His hair tickles the side of your face.Â
âIt was really fun, I might be growing fond of the girls." You donât remember much, just a vague memory of many different games you played to get drunk, and the feeling of being happy. âHow about yours? Donât tell me you went to a strip club or something like that.âÂ
âActually, we did a drunk escape room, didnât even know those existed until today.â
The closeness between you is getting more worrying by the second, mainly because if you hear his low chuckle next to your ear one more time, you might pass out.Â
âThat sounds horrible!â You chuckle away from his personal space, only to encounter his hungry eyes already looking at you.Â
âIt was fun, I wish you couldâve been there.â His honesty has a sultry tone to it that makes your lungs completely empty of air.Â
âIâm not sure we wouldâve made a good team.âÂ
âWhy? Youâre smart! Or at least you were back then.âÂ
âHey! I still am!âÂ
âI really have to get to know this new you.â
The pink and blue lights reflect on his face, giving him the most beautiful sparkles on his eyes, directed at you.Â
âItâs not that new, Iâm still very introverted, donât talk much when thereâs a lot of people around.âÂ
âI like that, youâre observant, good thing to be while in a escape room.âÂ
âWeâre still talking about that?âÂ
âMaybe, maybe not, I donât really care, I just wanted to spend time with you.âÂ
âAre you drunk?â You can only ask with a smile plastered on your face, but he shakes his head.Â
âYou kinda make me feel like Iâm a teenage boy again, I donât know how to explain it.âÂ
âI think I get it.â You place your hand on his chest, feeling the beating of his heart under it, even harder than the music blasting out of the speakers.Â
âYou know, back then, every time I had a free period, I would make my friends walk past whatever class you had, just to get to see you, at least for a second.â Out of everything heâs drunkenly confessing, this may be the one that surprises you the most because you really never realized he felt the same. He notices you freezing in place. âOnce they found out, I was relentlessly bullied by them.âÂ
âI sure hope it was worth it.â If the lighting was any better, he'd be able to see the cherry red covering your cheeks and ears.Â
âEvery second of it.â Everything around the two of you moves slower, like timeâs stopping only for the outside world, and the muffled background noises do nothing to pierce the bubble around you. âI really want to take you on a date, a real one.âÂ
âI would very much like that.âÂ
You can see the gears turning through Mingyuâs eyes, and you move your eyes down to his lips so he can take the hint. But nothing happens as someone else enters your little world.Â
Oliviaâs aware that somethingâs going on, her eyes switching back and forth between the two of you before she speaks.Â
âI need your help, Iâm sorry to interrupt, but Iâm getting worried about her.âÂ
âAbout who? What happened?â Mingyu stays behind you as you turn to Olivia, grabbing one of your hands, and his warmth gives you goosebumps.Â
âItâs Cassie, sheâs been sitting alone in the restroom for I donât know how long, she's way too drunk and I canât take care of her.â
You now realize sheâs slurring her words, meaning sheâs also too drunk and therefore canât take care of another drunk person, leaving you no choice but to go help Cassie. You look back at Mingyu, who encourages you to go, even if it takes a little too long for his hand to let go of yours.Â
The graffitied restroom provides you with a little more light than the rest of the place, and when you enter, you recognize Cassie sitting on the floor inside one of the stalls. Luckily thereâs no one guarding the bathrooms because if sheâs seen throwing up, it could potentially get you both kicked out.Â
You sit on the dirty floor beside her without saying a word, letting her know youâre here to help without giving her a headache. Her foreheadâs resting on top of her knees as she hugs her legs tightly. But after a minute or two of silence, you decide itâs best to check if sheâs at least awake.Â
âCassie? Are you okay?â Your hand on her shoulder makes her look up at you.Â
âI donât feel so good, I just want to sit down for a while.â She sounds tired, her husky voice giving away all the talking and singing sheâs been doing all night.Â
âDo you need anything? I can get you a cup of water.âÂ
âNo, please, just stay here a bit, I didnât want anyone to see me but I donât want to be alone.âÂ
âOk, Iâll stay, let me know if you need something, anything.âÂ
Time passes by, the music making it easier for you to not get bored. A few people enter the restroom from time to time, too drunk or too in a hurry to notice you both sitting down. Olivia passes by the door a few times, hovering, checking if everythingâs okay (and if youâre still in the same position as the previous time). You just smile and nod, letting her go back to her party time and time again. But at last, in one of her check-ins, she finally walks inside.Â
âHey, Mingyuâs looking for you!â Both you and Cassie look up at Olivia, but her eyes point at you. âWhat do I tell him?âÂ
You instinctively look to Cassie by your side, and her expression falls.Â
âDonât, donât go with him.â She finds the strength to plead to you, but she seems more worried than anything.Â
âWhy? Did he do something? Is that why youâre hiding here?â Olivia asks, and you realize she didnât leave after you didnât answer her.Â
âNo, no, I mean, yes Iâm hiding from him, but he didn't do anything, it was me, I embarrassed myself.âÂ
âWhy are you telling me not to go with him then?âÂ
âDo you like him?âÂ
âI-â Wow, blunt question out of the blue.Â
âYou can be honest, itâs fine.âÂ
âYeah, I do, I like him.â
Telling them, her, the truth feels kind of freeing. Finally admitting in front of them that you like someone, after not being able to for so many years, itâs like you can finally breathe.Â
âThen, for your own good, donât go with him, heâs seeing someone.âÂ
âWhat? How do you know?â That freedom lasts barely seconds before a new weight falls right on top of your lungs.Â
âHe told me, when the guys got here, he said that heâs been after a girl for years and they recently started going out.âÂ
âAre you sure? Did he use those words?âÂ
âIâm not saying it verbatim, I donât remember it exactly word for word, but thatâs what he meant.âÂ
Could he possibly be talking about you? How recent is ârecentlyâ supposed to mean? You havenât even started officially dating. Is confessing your feelings considered the start of dating? Is it supposed to be this confusing? Are you going to believe her? Not that Cassieâs a liar, but you donât know the context nor the exact words he used, and she doesnât know what happened between you and him either.Â
âShould I go tell him something?â Olivia's already standing up, your silence not helping the situation.Â
âJust-" You donât want to push him away, but itâs not the time to resolve this. The whole thing is too confusing to be making desperate decisions at this hour of the night, âTell him to go have fun with the guys, Iâm getting Cassie home.âÂ
The loudest alarm you couldâve ever set up wakes you up with a jump. Your head hurts like your inside out emotions are building houses inside your skull. But the memories still hit you as soon as your eyelids burst open. Some decisions were definitely made the night before. Wrong ones? Thatâs to be seen today.
And thanks to the gods and Oliviaâs always late waking family, youâre not supposed to be at the venue until 11 am. Only bad news, Itâs on a luxury complex outside the city. You have time for a real breakfast and a shower, but all the thinking and feeling will have to wait.
You unlock your phone to find the last text conversation open and the messages you barely remember sending stare at you through the dim screen.
Mingyu: you left so suddenly
Mingyu: everything ok?
You: yeah
You: had to take Cass to her place, she wasnât feeling well
Mingyu: thatâs too bad, hope she feels better
Mingyu: you just got home?
You: yep, about to go to bed
Mingyu: great, just checking before i head to sleep
Mingyu: sleep well, big day tomorrow
Admittedly, you were a little dry. Cassieâs words were still lingering on your mind, making you doubt everything. One side of your brain telling you that he was probably talking about you, he explained what he felt and what he wanted and sounded sure and truthful. But, the other part of your brain, the still self-conscious and self-doubting side, also makes valid points. The void years in between your relationship werenât mentioned in his confession, and you technically arenât dating. He hasnât even asked you out yet! Itâs too conflicting. But you know you have to face both of them today. After the ceremony.
The taxi ride to the venue is not only long but full of traffic. The sun shining bright directly to your face, the light humming of the driver to the songs of the radio and the occasional car horn on the distance, somehow make it bearable, with all the thoughts about the previous night, switching sides between the he said she said, itâs nice to have something constant while your minds goes on a rollercoaster.
A rollercoaster that doesnât stop even when you arrive. As soon as you step foot outside the car, Oliviaâs mom rushes you upstairs to where the make-up artists set up. Thereâs no time to admire the beautiful countryside venue. You walk past the door to where the ceremonyâs going to be held later, but rush up the stairs without even looking. The green dress already waiting for you at the door, an infinite echo of voices and even more people running around make the atmosphere feel dizzying.
Nothing slows down for even a second. Even when youâre sitting down having your make-up done, around you thereâs only people rushing to do everything, stressing about the little details, people running into the room to tell Olivia or her mom about decorations, the wedding planner coming in and out constantly, checking everythingâs in order. Itâs kind of beautiful how all this mess has the sole purpose of making today the best day for the couple. Even if it doesnât look like it, no one will remember the dress that wasnât properly ironed, or the string of hair that had too much hairspray on it, or the too slippery shoes that made it a chore to walk on the tiled floor.
So much chaos happens between the hair and make-up, and then with the photoshoots, you donât have time to talk to Mingyu. Your eyes would cross from time to time, but those milliseconds of him in a suit glaring at you from across the room are enough, and thereâs so much of that you can take before an internal chain reaction begins.
The walk downstairs, after all the make-up retouches and fixes to any rebellious stray hair that didnât want to stay in place, feels like the first calm and slow moment of the day. As the steps get closer and closer to the bottom floor, the red carpet muffling the clicking of your shoes, your insides feel fire-like when you see Mingyu waiting for you by the final step, an unknowing smile on his face. His eyes drill holes on your figure, scanning you up and down shamelessly.
âYou chose this one, I like it.â He whispers by your ear as you walk to the door, where every pair is already waiting. A little smile shows on your face, but it fades when your eyes encounter Cassieâs, watching the two of you with a frown so little you only notice because she immediately relaxes her face.
The music starts before you can say anything to Mingyu, and one by one, each of the bridesmaids start walking down the aisle, arms linked with the groomsmen, gracefully walking forward as the eyes of every guest fall on them. Your arm tangled with his is the first touch you share since many days ago, and even with all the conflict making your mind a blur, your heart speeds up at the feeling of his muscles.
Nothing seems slow anymore, and the ceremony almost goes by without noticing. There isnât one second where you donât feel Mingyuâs eyes on you, making it impossible to focus â or pretend to focus â on what the priest is saying.
The moment your brain reconnects with your ears, Thomas delivers the most beautiful vows youâve ever heard. You met the guy only once, never even spoken to him, but the way he speaks so fondly about Olivia makes your heart clutch in your chest, and your throat tries to fight it, but you end up bursting with tears. But youâre not the only one with a cascade of dramatic tears falling with seemingly no end. As the room fills with applause and even some whistles at the first kiss between the officially married couple, you see some people with tissues, quietly blowing their nose.
But the never-ending rush in time continues, everyone sprinting to sit at their tables for the reception. The last retouches of make-up get done quickly. The girls gossip to kill the time before the dance, because for them itâs moving so slowly, but in the blink of an eye, youâre going out the door once again, just as Cassie taps on your shoulder. You turn to her, expecting her to be angry, or at least to start speaking, but it looks like sheâs still figuring out what to say.
âThank you, for taking care of me last night, Iâm sure you wouldâve preferred to enjoy the party.â
âI wasnât going to leave you alone, itâs fine, you donât have to thank me. Are you feeling better?â
âYeah, I am! But actually, I wanted to apologize.â Your head spins, dizzy from the world suddenly stopping hearing her words. âI didnât know there was something going on between you two.â
âThereâs not- I mean, not much happened, I didnât want to cause a fuzz over it.â
âBut you shouldâve told me you liked him, at least! If I knew about it, I wouldnât have gone after him.â You see in her eyes nothing but honesty. âI know weâre not as close as before, but these are the things we need to tell each other. Itâs the girl code.â
âI donât really know why I didnât, I know I shouldâve, I didnât know how.â Youâve now started to go downstairs to the reception, already the time to dance in pairs.
âLook, itâs okay if youâre not comfortable telling me this, but did something happen? Was he talking about you last night?â
Youâve reached where everyone is waiting, and youâre too embarrassed to look up and possibly find Mingyu standing there, leg-melting and breathtaking.
âI thought about it but I donât know, maybe?â
Back at the reception, the music starts, signaling the newlyweds are about to begin their first dance, meaning in no time youâll have to step in and dance around them.
âIâm going to ask you three questions and you just have to answer yes or no. There's no need for explanation, okay?â
âOâŠKay?â
âSo, you two knew each other in school, did you like him?â You nod shyly, not looking in her eyes, embarrassed to be talking about this so openly, âDid he like you?â You nod again, âAnd did something happen recently that would indicate that he would like to date you in the near future?â
You give her a final nod and finally look up at her. She sighs, taking your hand and squeezing it to make you pay attention.
âThen he meant you dummy! Go, talk to him. Heâs been staring at you all day like a lost puppy.â
When you dare to look his way, where you just knew he was standing, heâs looking at you, a little smirk on his lips and subtly motioning he's ready to take your hand. You didnât notice it was already time, and everyone around you stands in their position.
The pairs start entering one by one, and your smile trembles, feeling the eyes of every guest on you. Your fingers barely graze his, but they feel raw, like you can feel every particle of his hand below yours. The electric fire emerging from where your skin connects with his runs through your veins in record time.
But as soon as the music starts and Mingyu turns you so youâre looking at him, everything is forgotten. The steps come easily, his eyes calm but observing, his hand on your waist guiding you as he did every time you practiced.
âYouâve been avoiding me.â He whispers, not wanting to disrupt the moment, but knowing itâs the only time youâll get alone.
âI swear I didnât mean to.â
You panic. There was so much to do and so few words you could come up with to say to him that maybe you unconsciously avoided him by locking yourself up in the make-up room.
âDid I do something wrong?â He doesnât sound hurt, but rather just plain curious, eager to work this out between you two.
âNo! it was just a misunderstanding,â he waits for you to continue, but the part of your brain that makes sense starts crumbling, making it impossible to form a coherent argument, âI- can I ask you something? It might sound stupid, Iâm warning you.â
âGo ahead.â He chuckles, his feet continuing to dance while you've already forgotten about it. One of your hands stays on his shoulder, while the other is being held by him, still in the air by your sides, reaching the height of your shoulders.
âYouâre not dating anyone, are you?â
He doesnât let the silence even come close to the two of you, chuckling quietly so youâre the only one who can hear it.
âIâm not, hard to believe I know, but Iâm painfully single.â
âGreat, I just wanted to make sure.â
âI remember telling you I want to take you on a date.â
âY-yeah, of course I remember that too."
The pit of your stomach lights up at the remainder of that afternoon in his home, your bodies as close as they are at this moment.
âThen what made you think that?â
âYou just, you said to Cassie last night that you started seeing someone recently and, I donât know, we didnât technically start dating, so I panicked.â Saying it out loud to him, it sounds ridiculous, but if he thinks that, he doesnât show it.
âOh that, yeah, I mightâve gotten ahead of myself, but hey, think of it as manifesting.â Heâs so charming that you donât care that heâs making no sense.
âNext time, donât tell a drunk girl whoâs flirting with you the wrong information. She might spread it around.â
The synchronized chuckle you let out makes you pay attention to the forgotten situation. Youâre dancing and havenât tripped once, like your muscles got a life of their own and remembered every single step. And you suddenly realize how close your body is to Mingyuâs. One hand down the small of your back, pressing just enough to hold you in his personal space, his face close enough that you could concentrate on his breathing and feel the light exhales on your face.
When the music ends, the applause makes you look around, and your cheeks feel warm immediately, noticing all the eyes on every one of you. But the attention is short-lived, as you and Mingyu walk quickly to your table so the couple can do the welcome toasts. You don't miss how he slides your chair closer to his before you sit down.
Sitting by your side, Mingyuâs body and yours are connected by an electric current, drawing you closer. His knee stays glued to yours, and the cut on the side of your dress allows your bare skin to brush against the fabric of his pants. A conversation takes place between everyone at the table, one of the guys telling a story about something funny that happened with Tom back in high-school, but itâs hard to pay any real attention when Mingyuâs fingers start tracing circles on your knee. Heâs not even doing to be a tease. It seems like itâs a habit of his, one that youâre just discovering. You donât stop your fingers from playing with his, and a subtle smirk forms on his lips at your action.
Itâs not like youâre doing anything too flashy or indecent, but you do your best to mask your reactions to his touches, to try and keep the people of the table unaware of the not so innocent things going on under the fancy tablecloth. He only notices your changes because heâs paying attention to you. The way your chest rises just a tad bit more when his hand goes a little over your knee, or how you drink from your cold glass of water when he presses on the skin of your inner thigh, but when heâs about to move his hand off of you, you put yours on his to keep it in place. You also notice things throughout the night, for example, that Mingyu isnât drinking a lot, restricting to one glass of champagne per serving. You do the same, wanting to remember this night in the future.
Mingyu stands up when the dancefloor opens again, turning down an offer to go to the bar for something stronger than sparkling wine. Instead, he reaches for your hand, silently inviting you to dance with him, to which you agree, with a smile and avoiding his eyes. Following behind him, he doesnât let go of your hand, even when youâve reached the spot he wanted. People join you on the dancefloor, drunkenly vibing to the dj set, surrounding you, and blocking you from anyone you know. Itâs feels almost private. Whatever song is playing on the speakers, it doesnât prevent you from following your own rhythm in your own world. Your arms wrap around Mingyuâs neck, and both of his hands hold your waist, mirroring the evening at his place.
âSo, tell me, what other embarrassing things did you do when you liked me?â
He throws his head back in embarrassment, sighing with a smile before daring to look at you again. His ears turn a light shade of pink, and you swear you can feel his heartbeat between your bodies.
âI really told you that, did I? I was hoping you wouldn't remember.â
âNope, I remember it very vividly actually.â
âLetâs leave the embarrassing stories for the future, I wasnât in my best condition last night.â
âYouâre making me too curious now, but how drunk did you get last night?â
âHonestly, I was just nervous about seeing you and about tonight.â He might be confessing another embarrassing thing, but behind his truthful tone, thereâs something you canât quite decipher.
âWhatâs there to be nervous about tonight?â
Your heels allow you to be in his line of sight, and your chests are too close. If you inhaled deeply, youâd be able to feel him on you. He takes advantage of your new height and forces your attention to go to his lips, smirking shamelessly as he thinks his next words.
âDid I tell you how pretty you look today?"
One hand comes close to your face, removes a strand of hair from blocking your view, and tucks it behind your ear.
âOh, shut up.â
You canât even think of a snarky response, your brain melting and showing just how much he affects you. Goosebumps spread all across your arms and back at the feel of his hand caressing your skin.
âI canât, itâs all Iâve thinking about all day, you, this dress, and you in this dress.â
You instinctively hide your face on the crook of his neck, his cologne invading your senses. Itâs hard to think of words when heâs looking at you like he wants to eat you whole.
âI got it because of you. Do you really like it?â
Not that you need any confirmation, since heâs told you twice already, but it wouldnât hurt to hear it from him one more time. Your reveal makes his smirking lips graze your ear, sending shivers down your spine, and his voice drops an octave to answer.
âI love the dress, but Iâll love it more once I get it off you.â
âI hate you.â
You barely manage to say, your chest rising but breathless at the same time. Your bodyâs automatic reaction is to push him away, and your hands go straight to his chest to try, but of course itâs pointless. His hands catch yours, not letting you leave his personal space. He taunts you by spinning you around, and once you do a full twirl, he grabs you by the waist again and brings your body to his.
âYou have no idea how hard it was for me that day when you stepped out, wearing this.â He gets closer to your ear with every word. You hate it and love it. For one, you can hide from his teasing eyes and blush in peace, but on the other hand, you are cheek to cheek with him, his breath fanning lightly on your side, and you can feel heâs still smirking. âYouâre lucky there were other people in the room.â
A breath catches in your throat, and you swallow hard. You thank all the gods there are out there for being surrounded by drunk people. Because to anyone on their senses, your reaction to Mingyu's words would be too obvious.
âI really hate you right now.â
Itâs getting harder and harder to ignore the heat growing at the pit of your stomach.
âYou donât.â
âI do.â
âI think itâs quite the opposite actually.â
How are you supposed to play hard to get when his hands hold you like he wants to keep you forever?
âYou think you know everything.â
You catch your voice about to tremble when his free hand starts going down the side of your arm, from your shoulder down until your hand, and interlocks his fingers with yours.
âIf you hate me then, I canât tell you the secret Iâve been keeping all night.â
âHave you been secretly writing an article about how to break someoneâs heart in 10 days?â
âI love that movie, but it has been well over 10 days, I couldnât make the deadline.â
âRom-com connoisseur, noted.â You jokingly nod, but not forgetting whatâs important. âNow tell me.â
âSo, you know how they told us there were rooms available for anyone that couldn't drive home?â You nod, too enthusiastically. âI may or may not have booked one for tonight, and if you want to, thereâs space for one more, we donât have to do anything if you donât want toâŠâ He keeps talking, something about you watching him do something, but you get lost in the way his lips move as he talks, so pink and fast and hypnotizing.
âIsnât it rude to just leave?â
The question leaves your mouth more to tease him than anything else. You want to be alone with him so badly, feel his body all over yours, his hands everywhere he can reach, ripping this godforsaken dress off you.
Before the last food serving rolls out and everyone scatters to go back to their seat, you sneak out of the reception, but the drunk bodies are not making it easy. Mingyu leads the way with you grabbing his hand and walking behind him. You donât know if you couldâve managed another teasing touching session under the table.
You take a left turn into the hallway just at the same time as one of Olivia's drunk uncles, a stranger to the both of you, whoâs half asleep using the wall to steady himself as he walks. The music echoes through the walls, and you can only look at each other, half about to burst out laughing and half needing to take the others clothes off, as you walk as nonchalantly as possible past the man trying his best to open his door.
Giggling like teenagers, you finally reach your room at the end of the hallway, but the second you enter, the atmosphere changes. Standing by the closed door, shoes off, panting, and frozen in place, you only look at each other. Your breaths regulate, and your smiles slowly fade off your expressions as the realization hits. Itâs real. Heâs here, and youâre here, in a room just for the two of you. His eyes are bound to your parted lips, but you wouldnât know, as yours are also unable to leave his.
Like magnets, brutally drawn to each other, your lips finally reconnect in a hungry, desperate kiss. After learning how sweet he tastes, how his lips glide over yours so easily, how he wraps his arms around you to keep you close to him, there was only so much time you could spend in abstinence.
No words needed, the want translating in the way your hands push him against you, his hands traveling across your back, touching and groping everywhere he can reach. After the long day testing your patience, neither of you can slow down.
His fang claws at your bottom lip, making you whimper against him. He drinks in any sound you make, his arms bringing your body impossibly closer to his, almost making you one. No one is in control, both of you just touching and grabbing anywhere you can, desperate for more.
Your mouths reluctantly separate as Mingyu starts leaving a trail of kisses down your neck and biting lightly on your sensitive skin, making you gasp. You can only thread your fingers on his hair, encouraging him to leave any marks he wishes to.
âIs this okay?â
His raspy voice travels to your ears, and you donât trust yourself to not make unholy noises if you open your mouth to answer. But just as youâre humming, he digs his teeth just above your clavicle, turning your hum into a moan.
He slowly slides the straps of your dress down your shoulders, his fingers teasing your skin on the way down. His hand travels across your chest, only the silky green fabric in between your fiery skin and his teasing fingers. They go over your pointy hard nipples, feeling everything on its way, but not letting it stay anywhere for more than a second.
âAre you going to take it off?â
Your breathlessness makes him chuckle, smug and cocky as ever.
âRushed?â
âVery. Youâre the one that put the thought in my head, now take care of it!â His hands sneak up your back, playing with the zipper of your dress.
âDonât act so innocent.â His tone goes straight to your core. The fabric around you loosens up as his hand runs down your spine, but he stops before it gets too loose to slip down. âYou think I didnât see the way you looked at me all day? Youâre not slick.â
He takes a step back to take off his suit jacket, absentmindedly throwing it to the side without breaking eye contact. But you don't let yourself get shy.
âWho said I was trying to hide it?â
Your hands run from his shoulders to his chest, unbuttoning his shirt one by one as his breathing speeds up. The warmth of his body envelops your hands, your fingers barely grazing the skin above his pants, and his muscles tense at your touch before you slip his shirt off.
âNow whoâs the one teasing?â
Pulling on the red tie around his neck, he swallows hard as you bring his head closer to yours, so close you unconsciously flutter your eyes closed. His bare chest rises against yours as you undo his tie slowly. You could tilt your chin up and break the tension once more, but something in you wants to keep teasing him.
A step back is all you need to have his lips chase you, and he opens his eyes, droopy and confused, to find you slipping your dress off. His stare turns surprised and hungry as you reveal yourself for him, but his body stays frozen in place.
âIâm supposed to do that.â
Itâs your time to chuckle now, taking a step forward again. His hands slot on your waist instinctively, traveling to your stomach, enjoying the feeling of your soft skin against his hands.
âYouâll get to do it next time.â The sentence is almost left unfinished, a breath getting caught in your throat when his hands dare go up your chest. But theyâre gone in a heartbeat, as they reach your face and tilt it so you can properly look at him.
âAre you sure you want to do this?â No teasing tone on his voice.
âIâm literally naked in front of you.â Your hands go back up to his neck, pushing his head slightly down, reaching a hypnotic closeness. âI want this, I want you Mingyu.â
Confirmation is all he needed to let loose, to let the want take over his body and soul. He connects your lips with force, and wastes no time. With his hands on your ass and his tongue working its way inside your mouth, he stumbles backwards until you both fall on the bed.
With you on top of Mingyu, your hands make their way across his chest, his golden skin glistening due to the sweat. You can feel his hard muscles tense under your touch, making him sigh on your mouth when you find his sensitive spots. His hands move to your hips and push you down on him, making you both moan un unison because of the first friction between your cores.
His growing hard grinds deliciously against you. Even with his pants still between you, you can feel how big he is, and the wet patch on your panties grows by the second. Your lips are still smashed together, a mess of saliva allowing your lips you glide faster and hungrier on his, your tongues becoming one, not wanting to separate ever again.
Your hands find their way down his abdomen, reaching where his pants hang on his hips. The absence of a belt makes it easier for you to unbutton them, and he takes the off expertly, all without ever taking his hands off you.
The second your hand sneaks under his underwear, he groans under you, disconnecting your mouths to take a look at you.
âIs it embarrassing to be already close?â His blood red lips are parted, breathing out his confession, and you almost moan, clenching around nothing because of the sight, or his confession, or maybe the whimper he fights when you wrap your hand around him.
âYouâre so big, fuck.â You sigh, and the side of his mouth quirks up, but slowly disappears as you start sliding your hand down, smearing the precum on his length.
âIâm not gonna hurt you.â
His eyes have a mix of concern and lust on them, and your body doesnât know how to react, your stomach flips, your hands tremble, and your underwear grows wetter.
âI know you wonât.â
You climb down on him, your eyesight reaching where his boxers begin to tent. His gaze follows you, like he canât believe the reality of whatâs happening. You take off the last piece of clothing left on his body, and his dick springs free, standing proud and angry red in front of your eyes. The throb on your throat makes you move forward, wrapping your lips around his leaking tip.
âWait. Donât.â You look up at him but heâs facing the ceiling, ears red and eyes closed. âI canât.â
âI havenât done anything.â You play innocent, and a smirk appears on your face when he finally looks at you, resting on his elbows.
âExactly, thatâs why I canât, I need to have a little bit of pride left.â
âWhat do you suggest we do?â You slowly climb up on him again, his hands moving to your hips like they got a life of their own. One hand on his chest and one hand on his jaw, you kiss him softly, and he melts at your touch.
A soft moan is heard, could be from him, could be from you, but your mind is too clouded to care when he rolls his hips against yours, following the pace of your lazy kiss. A rush of arousal takes over your body when he presses you harder against him, his length sliding perfectly with your core, your wetness making it easier to reach every point that makes you gasp.
âI want,â his lips stop working on yours, but his arms keep you from separating. You feel his every breath, every gasp at the friction, and his lips graze yours when he speaks, âI want to taste you.â
âFuck.â He might just be able to feel the new rush of wetness dampening your panties further and smearing around his hard below you. His hands push your hips up his body. He told you what he wants, and heâs showing you exactly how he wants it. âAre you sure? I donât want to crush your skull.â
âI wouldnât mind that, at least Iâd die happy.â
âWell, I canât argue with that if you want it.â
The chuckle he lets out reverberates from his chest up through your whole body. Thereâs not much you can do besides complying with his wants, especially with the way your bodyâs reacting to the sole idea of it and the way heâs moving you to where he wants.
His hands sneak under the strings of your underwear, and as you climb higher and higher, he removes them easily, leaving you bare on top of him.
âYouâre so wet, shit.â Your pussy pulsates just above his face. You canât see his reaction, but you for sure can hear it, âI wouldâve done this sooner if I knew this was waiting for me.â
From your point of view, his whole face is covered, by you, on top of him, only his messy hair laying on the mattress can be seen. A view thatâs dizzying and hypnotic at the same time, and you canât think of any answer to give him. His breath on your wet core makes you shiver, but youâre afraid to sit down, afraid youâll hurt him.
Mingyu senses your hesitation and gives you no more time to doubt. His head rises until his tongue meets your folds, flattening on you, desperate to make you feel good. The sudden stimulation makes your legs tremble, and you would've fell on his face if it wasnât from his hands still holding your hips.
He starts making out with your cunt, moaning and groaning against it like this is also pleasurable for him. His tongue finds every place that makes you gasp, moan and whimper, and with every lap at your folds, a nasty wet sound accompanies it.
A shaky moan escapes out of you when he envelops your clit with his lips and sucks lightly, making you grab the headboard so you donât fall on him.
You mustâve fully sit on his mouth in your search for support, because he moans louder against your pussy, and you can feel everything. His lips and tongue working to drink every drop of arousal that leaves you, discovering every sensitive spot you didnât know about.
The tip of his nose bumps your clit just as his tongue finds its way inside your pulsing hole, and you instinctively move your hand down to pull at his hair. The action encourages him to go faster, harder, and when you grind on his face and he groans like heâs enjoying it, you let go.
Riding him, chasing your high, youâre using his tongue for your own pleasure. Your hand on his hair tightens, and you lose the little control you had of your throat. But the unfiltered sounds you make just push him harder. Every one of your senses is clouded. The wet sounds, the way he moans against you, his tongue already knowing where to go to make you squirm, everything culminates without warning.
You cum on his tongue faster than you have ever before. Your thighs tremble at either side of his head, and you realize youâre crushing him between them. But he doesn't let you get up. His tongue continues to work on you,
He cleans you up, drinking every last drop of arousal smeared on your skin. You spasm over him every time he ânot so accidentallyâ flicks your clit with the tip of his tongue, starting to get you overstimulated.
You use the strength you have left to push his head back, and take advantage of his surprise to plop down on his side, your back on the mattress and your pussy finally away of his eager mouth.
âAre you okay?â
From the corner of your eye, while you try to recover, you see Mingyu doing his best to clean the lower side of his face.
âYeah, fuck, that was a lot.â You manage to say in between breaths. âI need a second.â
âIf youâre too tired, we can st- fuck.â
You donât give time to overthink, quickly getting on top of him again, your swollen dripping cunt right on top of his still hard cock.
âSecond's over.â Only a little smirk is the warning he gets before youâre grinding on top of him again. All of your juices mix as you slowly ride back and forth, his length sliding between your wet folds deliciously. âIâm clean, and on the pill, are you?â
âOn the pill? Unfortunately not.â How he manages to make you laugh even on your horniest moments will forever remain a mystery. âBut Iâm clean, Iâve never had sex without a condom before.â
âMe neither. I guess this will be a new experience for the both of us.â The sole thought of it makes his dick twitch under you.
âAre you sure?â His hand cups the side of your face, and his eyes look at you with such care that you could melt in an instant.
âYes, I donât want to wait anymore. Weâve waited long enough.â That seems to relax him, his hands beginning to roam freely across your torso.
Sliding forward makes the veins of his cock drag along every sensitive spot and you both moan before his tip finally prods at your entrance. A loud hiss comes out of him as you align yourself with his length and push his tip in.
But before you can go any further, he wraps his arms around your waist and turns you around so your back is against the mattress. You gasp at the sudden change, and when he starts slowly sinking into you, filling every possible space inside you, you lose your breath.
His cock being covered by your fluids makes it easier, and when he finally bottoms out, so deep you feel him everywhere, you hear him trying to muffle a moan. Your gummy walls clamp around him, trying to get used to his size. The twitch of his length feels stronger while inside you, and you know heâs trying to resist the urge to pound into you.
âMove, please, I need you.â Your pathetic whimper triggers another smirk out of him, and as he moves down to give you a soft kiss, his eyes darken.
âWhatever my girl wants.â
The slow drag of his cock as he starts sliding it out almost make you delirious, but before his tip slips out, he snaps his full length right back in, making your body jolt upwards. You can't speak properly, a curse you canât even hear leaves your mouth before he repeats the action, again and again.
âSo deep, Mingyu, fuck.â The brutal pace he sets has him abusing every single sensitive spot inside you, even the ones you didnât know about, hitting relentlessly where it makes you scream, and youâre seeing stars.
âYou donât say my name often,â his voice is raspy and deep, almost mirroring the way his cock pistons inside of you, âI like how it sounds coming out of you."
Your palms are against the headboard and youâre sure the bed hitting against the wall can be heard from other rooms, but when one of his hands sneak between your bodies and starts circling your clit, you stop caring all along.
The grinding of your hips matches his rhythm, accentuating everything as he drives you closer and closer. With his face just above yours, you can only look him in the eyes and let him watch your face contort in pleasure feeling every vein of his cock dragging inside of you. With any other person, you would be self-conscious, but as he finds that spot inside you that makes you squirm, you forget the world around you and focus on grabbing his strong arms for support.
His teeth find your neck again, biting and kissing on your soft skin, pushing you closer and closer to the edge, and he doesnât stop drilling his hips into you. Somehow, you feel him deeper with every thrust, and the only thing you can do is claw your nails on his arms and back, encouraging him more and more.
âYouâre so tight, shit.â His hips stutter when you clench hearing his voice. âTell me youâre close, please, fuck, I donât now how long I got."
âYes! Yes, donât stop.â You tighten impossibly harder around him when you feel him pinch one of your nipples. Heâs literally everywhere, stimulating every spot to tip you over the edge.
Your arms and legs cage his body so close to yours that he has trouble keeping up with his pace, but that doesn't stop him from pounding hard. The sound of skin your skin hitting against his and his groans are like music to your ears.
It's when his thumb teases your clit again that you finally snap.
You tremble around him, moaning uncontrollably as he keeps pounding into you, prolonging your orgasm as he pleases and chasing his own. But heâs far gone too. Your sweet moans in his ear and your walls clenching around him so perfectly are enough to have him spilling inside you.
Sleepiness is about to get you when you feel him sliding out you and plopping by your side. Naturally, one of his arms slots under you as your head rests on the crook of his neck.
Thereâs silence while you both catch your breaths, his hand softly drawing circles on your back and yours on his chest. As reality sinks in, giddiness fills your entire body, and you canât contain the smile growing against his golden skin.
âDid you do any embarrassing things back then?â The sudden interrogation makes your cheeks turn red.
âIâm guessing thereâs no way out of this, right?â You avoid looking up at him to not make your shyness obvious, and you feel him shake his head as an answer. âFine⊠you know⊠your fangs?â
âMy fangs?!â Amusement and surprise mix on his voice.
âFuck this is so embarrassing.â Youâre caged between his arms but you manage to cover your face with your hands.
âYou liked my fangs?â
âI still do, but yeah, I would just draw little fangs everywhere, I guess no one ever noticed because they looked more like vampâ"
âWould you like to have dinner with me tomorrow?â He luckily interrupts your embarrassing rant with his pending question.
âAlready? You want to see me again that badly?â You feel the chuckle on his chest before you hear it, and at that moment, itâs the best sound youâve ever heard.
âI plan on taking you on dates at least three times a week. Youâre never getting rid of me now.â He embraces you in his arms, chests flushed together, and when you tilt your head up, heâs already looking at you, expectant for your answer. âSo, what do you say?â
âYes, I would love to have dinner with you tomorrow.â The smile he gives you might be the most blinding smile youâve ever seen. âBut just so you know, I do not have sex on first dates.â
thank you so much for readingâ„â„ sorry this took so long to finish
#mingyu au#seventeen au#seventeen smut#mingyu smut#svt smut#kim mingyu au#svt au#kim mingyu smut#mingyu imagine#mingyu x reader
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It's 2024. I have been participating in fandom for 40 years. This is a ramble commemorating some history I've experienced along the way.
In 1984, I attended my first convention, and made a beeline for the one long row of covered tables in the Dealer's Room that was, according to the whispered lore of my friends, 'the one'. "um", I said, very suavely and coherently, except for how it was totally the opposite of those things, "I'm here for the... for the, uh. For-"
"Come around here," the man behind the table said with exhausted ennui, so I went around, and he lifted up the table skirt next to him and pointed to rows and rows of boxes underneath the line of tables. "It's all under here."
It was all under there. Along with about five older ladies with glasses, graying hair, cardigans. Flipping through slash zines and chatting in whispered voices like old friends (which of course they were). I noticed one of them had the good sense to be wearing kneepads. I was still too young and ablebodied to need kneepads when crawling on a carpeted floor, but I immediately found her preparedness skills to be both impressive and hot. "You're new," one of the ladies whispered to me--a bit warily, which made sense. "Are you sure you're in the right place?"
In the faint light (the kneepads lady had also come prepared with a flashlight, additional practicality hotness points for her) I grabbed a comb-bound book with a heavy line art piece on the cover, featuring a musclebound Captain Kirk getting righteously and enthusiastically plowed by a stern-yet-ebullient Spock. "This," I said, pointing helpfully at the cover, like I was trying to make myself understood in a language I had only the vaguest knowledge of. "I'm here for this."
Outside at the convention, most of the attendees were wearing large homemade circular pins that shrieked 'K/S is BS!!!'1. But underneath the table, we reveled in the forbidden.
***
In 1985, I fell very hard for Starsky & Hutch fandom. Which was simply referred to at the time as 'the other fandom', because there were only two. We were upstarts. Many fannish elders predicted that it was just a phase.
***
The 'circulating library' was a massive stack of barely-legible pages that smelled strongly of mimeograph ink. When you were on the list, you would write stories while you waited for your turn, and when the big box was mailed to you, you would read everything (new finds, old favorites), add your own sloppily-typed or hastily-mimeographed stories, and then mail the whole thing to the next person. For me, at the time, it was an extremely expensive indulgence--but my favorite one.
***
By 1990, slash fandom had grown enough that I no longer knew everyone in it, which was both thrilling and a bit daunting. A young woman at a convention waited for me after a panel I was part of (I think it was 'writing impactful smut' or something like that), and said she had a question she didn't want to ask in a group setting. I'd heard that before. I said that's fine, go ahead and ask; and she came out with: "Why do you have to be gay?"
I blinked. "Is... that a problem?"
She looked annoyed. "Yes, because your stories are on all the recommendation lists and in all the top zines, but if you're gay and I read something you wrote and I get hot from it that makes me gay, and I'm not gay."
"Wow." I grinned, I couldn't help it. It probably made me look very predatory-dyke-about-to-score-a-toaster. Whatever, it was enough to make her back away from me fast.
When I thought about it later that night, I wondered what it would be like not to be the only queer person in slash fandom.
***
By 1997, slash started appearing on the internet. Many fannish elders claimed it was the death knell of slash fandom, or dismissed it as 'just a phase'.
***
Anyway, I wrote all this for myself as a commemoration of sorts, but if you took the time to read it--thank you. Love you, fandom. I always will.
1 In those days, m/m fandom was known as 'slash', which grew from the fannish shorthand where 'K&S' meant a story of Kirk and Spock having adventures or tribulations or what have you, and 'K/S' meant a story of Kirk and Spock getting it on (Kirk divided by Spock or Spock into Kirk--it was mathy fannish humor and I was into it then and I still am now). Slash was decidedly unpopular in the fannish world in 1984, and there was a concerted effort to force slash authors, artists, and fans out of 'mainstream' fannish public life. Hence, under the table.
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