#I worry but this is genuinely her least stressful option

[candycryptids]

Oh…. The joy of just… listening to music w/o being in airplane mode. Reading webcomics and lookin at peoples funny lil guys…. Decadence.

[melliemell]

Pairing: Dazai x f!reader

Contents: mostly SFW, first date with Dazai, making out at uncomfortable places yet again, CW for Dazai-typical discussions of suicide, nothing too graphic; fluff and cheekiness in full. Approx 2k.

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There it was again. The stare.

You moved about the food on your plate, feigning ignorance to Dazai’s gaze from the other side of the table. He’s been doing this more often in the past hour than your entire date. It got you wondering what on earth you did to get that switch up. He struck you as the airheaded type, at least at first. 

First dates as a general rule were rather awkward, as common sense points out. Even more so when said guy was a complete stranger you happened to bump into on the street. Dazai did have that effortless charm about him though, and you found yourself saying yes before you registered you’d just agreed to taking him out on a date. 

You. You taking him. 

He had a way with words, that you couldn’t deny.

And now, a second iced tea in and genuinely enjoying yourself, it was easy to see how that happened. From the constant flow of conversation to the rather peculiar sense of humour– yeah, he might be a little weird.

 A bit. 

Okay, a lot. 

But learning the effects of mushroom poisoning wasn’t all that boring. The contrary, actually. But it definitely had to do with Dazai’s ability to disarm any situation of its soberness. You found yourself relaxing into the evening with no worries over figuring out how to come up with escape plans. 

You were sticking this one out. Even if you’d probably be the one paying for dinner.

A faint tapping caught your attention.

“Aw, you’re not paying attention to me,” Dazai said, pouting. He clung his fork against his plate again, looking rather dejected enough to make you feel sad for him. “My lady doesn’t see me worthy of her precious time. Gah, what pains!”

You raised a brow. “I’m here with you, aren’t I?” You wondered how quickly he could switch between emotions. The look from earlier was completely gone.

“So are lots of people around us.” He loomed in closer, eyes glinting with only trouble. “But I keep my attention on the really cute ones.”

Ah, a charmer indeed. Hmm. Let’s see then…

“Do you, now? In fact–” You looked around innocently, weighing your options before settling on a table to Dazai’s back. A smile crept on your lips and you pointed discreetly. “–I’ve always been more of an admirer of elegant appeal than ‘cuteness’, to be honest.” 

“Oh?” 

You sipped your tea patiently as Dazai threw a carefree glance over his shoulder to the woman sitting not far from him. Nothing stood out at first glance, but the way she carried the simple, yet classy dress was enough to give you a double take. It was a stark contrast to the rest of you here.

The restaurant you were in did not have any dress code; it was far from those high-end establishments that required such frivolity.

The low woah that left Dazai’s lips was pretty much on point. It was almost like seeing a poorly disguised celebrity on a random Wednesday. 

Dazai hummed. “I see, I see.” He rested a cheek on his knuckles. “Sad to hear, though. You have a lot more fun with cuties! I have a coworker who’s very tidied up. He’s pretty fun to vex, but it’s almost impossible to free him from that stick up his ass. What a shame.”

“So I should go for the fun ones?” 

“I hear it’s good to mingle with like-minded people,” Dazai said, and winked. 

“Eh, I wouldn’t say that. I’m rather ‘tidied’ too, And if it comes with being seen as classy– I don’t mind.” You didn’t feel embarrassed by this. Too much adventure tends to stress you out more often than not. It was a miracle you even went on this date to begin with. But the look on Dazai’s face made you pause.

“Whaat? Pshh,” he waved a hand dismissively. A small glint of mischief flashed in his eyes, making you narrow yours in distrust. “Your modesty is making my heart flutter, here–”

He reached forward, clasping your hand into his before resting it against his chest. His vest felt warm, the wool grazing at your fingertips gently.

You blinked, face blank. “You know I can’t feel anything through–”

“Oh my,” Dazai said, that cheeky smile reappearing. He leaned closer, tone low, “I will admit, this is a bit straightforward; I’m quite shy. But… when a beautiful woman hints at wishing to undress me, and publicly I might add, then–”

Your face heated up. “What? No– nono, you just–,” you hissed, your other hand flying to cover the already spreading flush on your cheeks, and Dazai laughed heartedly.

“See? Told you you were a cutie,” he said, cocking his head. He squeezed your hand, showing no signs of letting go anytime soon. 

“And you’re too much,” you said, eyes peeking from spread fingers. 

“Maybe I need the guiding hand of a good honest samaritan.”

“So long as you don’t lead them to a heart attack first,” you said, cheeks still red.

“Aw, man.” Dazai wrinkled his nose. “That doesn’t sound fun at all. Too uncomfortable for my tastes. Did you know some heart attacks could last for hours? Bleh.”

“Add a comfy bed there in the mix and I’d agree. Heart attacks suck,” you said, and immediately drew slightly back as Dazai all but bore his gaze into you, eyes wide. You weren’t expecting that level of attention… and that stare from earlier. The fleeting one; it was back. 

This man was curious indeed.

There was a moment where no one spoke, Dazai not breaking eye contact with you as you blinked back at him. Then– the sound of wood scraping on floor reached your ears as Dazai scooped his chair closer, crouching close enough to you to feel his body heat. His thigh was flush against yours.

“Please,” Dazai began, “share with me what you meant by needing a bed. How would you like to leave this so dreadful world? Do you have opinions on carbon monoxide?”

You looked down at your seating. “Uhh.” 

Your brain blanked. It was a sudden change, and you were sure you had struck an interesting chord. Dazai nodded his head, beckoning you to share, but your focus was slowly seeping away, replaced by the newfound knowledge that Dazai’s hair was actually probably dark auburn, not chestnut,  and not as straight as you assumed. Or maybe it was the light. Might be. 

It looked floppy too. The type that glides smoothly through your fingers. 

You snapped back, sudden and quick. “Carbon what? Yes, no– I mean, I– like sleeping? Doesn’t sound bad to just drift off in the middle of it.”

Dazai nodded again. He was way too invested in this. “I see. a bit old-fashioned, but I respect that. Very Victorian of you.” 

“Yeah, and you strike me as the obnoxious type. Quiet and peaceful doesn’t ring quite as accurately,” you said casually. You’ve had weirder discussions with your close friends. This wasn’t all too outside your calibre. 

Dazai cradled his chin in his hand, striking a rather silly pose as he pondered this over. “I have said before I’d rather go out with a bang, hah. I am a man of my word, but if a beauty like you were to offer…”

You patted Dazai on the cheek. “Buckle up, clown man. We’re too young for that. Ask me again in, hmm, 60 years? No, make it 70, I’m an overachiever.”

A low whistle left Dazai’s lips, and he flopped back dramatically on the back of his chair. “Time is excruciating! Oh, to wait so long, my frail heart.”

You rolled your eyes. “You’re such a baby.”

Dazai stuck out his tongue. 

Insufferable. Yet endearing. Keeping back your smiles was becoming harder and harder. Dazai didn’t need a confidence boost like that. Not when he leaned closer every time he made a remark, or when he listened to you intently as you rattled on about your shitty day job last summer or how you missed living at home with your mom’s cooking and her daily gossips. He wasn’t as obnoxious as you thought. 

Okay, maybe a little. 

At some point his hand came to rest over your knee, index finger looping lazy circles on your thigh. You didn’t remember giving him permission to do that, but… somehow, losing that contact wasn’t something you wanted. You leaned into it, catching the quick grin that formed on Dazai’s lips.

It wasn’t long before he had you completely wrapped around his finger, the pair of you stumbling out into the late evening filled with too much giddiness and anticipation. There wasn’t a drop of alcohol in your system yet your mind felt light, barely registering the walk back to your car. 

Dazai sprinted a bit ahead, bowing at the waist as he held the door open for you. “My lady, allow me.”

You snorted as you climbed into the driver’s seat. “Very smooth, but if this is your way of pleading for a ride… hmm, wasn’t the subway that way?”

“Aww, you’ll leave me stranded here, and all alone.” 

 Big brown eyes and a pout to kill for, Dazai was pulling the sympathy card like a champ. You weren’t gonna let him so easy, though. “Aren’t you a big boy? I’m sure you can manage.”

He bent down, resting on the lowered window. “I take it I didn’t win you over? Bummer. And I thought we were having a great time.”

“We were. But I learned something new about myself today.”

Dazai perked. “My my, and what is that?”

“You’re too fun to torment. I like that in a man.”

“Cruel,” Dazai said. “I’m way more fun to cuddle.”

You came closer, watching to see Dazai’s body language. He did not budge from his position, his attention fully drawn to you. He was needy for attention; it wasn’t hard to draw that conclusion, but giving in so fast wasn’t your style. Just a small pinch then, maybe…

“Hmm,” you said, twirling a loose strand of Dazai’s hair around your finger. He leaned in closer. “We’ll see.”

You had but a second to glance at his lips before Dazai captured yours. Your hands raised instinctively, cupping his face and you pulled him closer, earning a yelp as Dazai nearly lost his footing before he grabbed at the window frame. You paid that no mind, too busy. 

You didn’t expect Dazai to be a shy kisser; after the sudden moment of quick passion– you found him slowly working your lips together. Chaste and sweet, before he coaxed your mouth open with his. You swallowed his quiet sigh of contentment as his tongue explored yours, felt him running a hand through your hair to settle back at your neck, beckoning you closer.

Not that you could. It was getting hard to breathe, or you just forgot how to. You weren’t sure. 

“Stop, stop,” you whispered in between kisses. “We should really stop, Dazai.”

“2 more hours, please.”

You both laughed, and it was followed by a gentle nib at your lower lip before you lost yourself in him again. 

The world blurred, forgotten, as heat settled between your legs. It always marveled you– how nothing seemed to be enough in those moments. the only thought was more, more, more.

You wanted more. 

“Enough,” you said suddenly, hands pushing at Dazai’s shoulders. He had almost crawled inside your car, through the fucking window.

Dazai blinked at you, still a bit dazed. His pupils were blown wide, teeth grazing his lower lip as he tried to lean subconsciously in again. “You have really round cheeks, did you know that? Cute. Why is everything about you cute?” 

“Yeah?” You set your key in place, starting the engine. “You can make me a list later. Come on.” You patted the seat beside you.

“Wait–” Dazai beamed at you “–does this mean I get to be your passenger princess?”

“Not if you don’t hurry.” The car moved slightly forward in warning, Dazai’s grin widening as he scurried to the other side.

This wasn’t how you planned your night to go but… as Dazai sat down beside you, belt secured and giving you a thumbs up with both hands, well, you could only shake your head with amusement. 

He sure was something. 

Might as well see where this goes…

[fruitcoops]

The Shiplap of Amontillado

Day 11: no movie for this one, just The Horrors (TM) of HGTV. Characters belong to @lumosinlove, header is from @noots-fic-fests! I can't believe it's almost over :(

Day 10 movie: Little Shop of Horrors (1986)

Ugly, Pascal thought. The house was ugly as hell. Was he in hell?

“We are just so excited for this next part,” the realtor gushed, leading them around the next corner. “Soo many modern homes these days don’t have parlors, but since you guys decided to go with something more old-fashioned, you get all the benefits!”

“Old-fashioned?” Pascal asked weakly. The house looked the same as the one he grew up in.

Jesus fuck, was he in his parents’ house?

“It’s sooo easy to convert something like this into a family room.” The realtor swept her hand in an abstract circle in the doorway to the parlor. Her smile showed far too many of her teeth for Pascal to feel at ease.

He risked a glance down at Celeste and his heart sank. She was nodding along. The terror of it all.

“The wood paneling might have to go,” the realtor said, all sweet apologies. “It’s really fallen out of fashion and darkens the room. I understand if that’s a dealbreaker, but I really encourage you to think of the room’s potential before making any decisions.”

Pascal stared. “Can’t we just…take it off the wall?”

The realtor looked immediately at Celeste with a strange cooing noise. “You got yourself a handyman?”

“I’m very lucky,” Celeste laughed, squeezing Pascal around the waist. She looked up at him with so much excitement that it was hard to remain unsettled. “What do you think? I like this one a lot, even if it’s a bit creaky.”

Creaky. Pascal had grown up here. The horror was back full-force. “Ah…”

“I know you’re on a bit of a time crunch,” the realtor said sympathetically. “I have all the paperwork on me, though, so you could sign today if you wanted to. I really think this is a good option for you two.”

“Two?” His head was spinning. Celeste appeared unbothered. “The kids—did we even start packing yet?”

She patted his chest. “Don’t worry, my love. We can do it tonight.”

“Tonight?”

“Such a worrywart,” she sighed with an affectionate shake of her head at the realtor, who gave a saccharine smile.

Pascal did not like that woman. “What about the kids?”

Celeste’s forehead crinkled. “They moved out, Pascal. We drove Katie to college last weekend.”

“But…” He had bought the radio set in that cabinet for his father for Christmas when he was seventeen. The cabinet itself belonged to his grandmother. Katie was in college. Despair. Sorrow. Awful, awful things. “But I tucked her into bed last night.”

“This has been a stressful time.” Celeste smoothed the arm of his shirt free of wrinkles, then kissed his cheek. “You’ve been so busy! And with such a last-minute move, too. We’ve had no time to really think about how much is changing.”

“Changing,” Pascal echoed.

Celeste’s smile seemed genuine, at least. She held tight to his hand, guiding him to follow her into the parlor. “I like this one. It’ll be good and quiet, nice and far from all of that Gryffindor noise.”

Pascal stopped in his tracks. Wrong. This whole thing was wrong, but that—“You love Gryffindor.”

“Hmm?” Celeste hummed mildly.

“You love Gryffindor,” he repeated. A spot behind his eye was aching. “You like it more than New York. You don’t want to leave Sirius and Logan and Lily and all your friends, and you love the city.”

“I do,” Celeste agreed easily. She stepped back out of the living room and nudged her forehead into his shoulder. Her expression turned soft and relaxed on one long exhale; he cupped the back of her head in his hand and kissed the top of her dark hair, lingering there. His heart was racing, but sandalwood and vanilla slowed it soon.

“I think we should go home,” he offered. We need to get out of my parents’ house before I run out screaming and end up on the evening news. “And maybe we can get ice cream on the way home.”

He felt Celeste snort. “It’s the middle of the afternoon.”

“I need ice cream.” Fuck it, he needed therapy. Living out his retirement years in the same place he learned to walk was simply not allowed. “With caramel. And sprinkles.”

--

Pascal patted around the duvet until he found a shoulder and gave it a gentle shake. Tabarnak, Logan was forbidden from mixing drinks for anyone ever again. Those margaritas were the devil’s work. He was going to put that boy back in the basement until he took a bartending class.

“Celeste.” He kissed the space behind her ear. “Hey. Hey.”

She took a deep breath, as if dragging herself awake, then gave a sudden flinch.

“Shh, shh, c’est moi,” he assured her, drawing a loose piece of her hair back over her ear. “Did I scare you?”

A monotone grumble answered.

“I…” It was gone. Pascal blinked, bleary and confused. Their room was warm. He hadn’t heard anything strange. Something about the house…?

“Quoi, Pascal?” Celeste mumbled.

He scratched the stubbly side of his cheek. Wood paneling? A broken cabinet? “I look good in my tool belt, right? You think it looks nice?”

The vague figure of Celeste turned her face into the pillow and exhaled hard. Her shoulder shook. “Ouais, sure.” She was laughing at him. Why was she laughing? Her hand reached back and bumped his elbow. “Very nice. Go to sleep.”

“D’accord. Je t’adore.” He shuffled over to put his head on her pillow. Sleep caught him between one breath and the next.

“Je t’aime,” she whispered in the dark.

[littledollll]

Quiet time

Larissa weems x none to semi-verbal reader

Warnings: none rly?

Coming back from what you would call a heavy day, most people don’t get it, “Wasnt it fun?”, “I thought you had a good time” some even straight up saying “I don’t get how your brain works” that’s fine. You did have fun, it was a good time, great actually but it’s overwhelming and tiering, surrounded by people and sound everywhere. You just needed to decompress.

You threw your stuff on the nearest surface, that’s for future you to worry about finding, making your way into bed and crashing face-first with a heavy sigh. You didn’t bother picking up your phone you’d just stare at it without actually using it, headphones on but no music playing, they just tuned out background noise that’s all you needed.

You just laid there hugging your pillow, dissociated and humming, to no song nor particular rhythm, you were too busy self soothing when Larissa came in. She actually got it, she’d occasionally enjoy quiet time for at least a few minutes after coming home from a long day. It didn’t always mean that you wanted complete silence, most of the time it was just a few minutes before you were ready to listen just not necessarily talk, and that was alright with her.

Larissa knew you well enough to know that it was quiet time the moment she saw you, and actually it was for her too. She wordlessly moved across the room just getting ready for bed, your unfocused eyes eventually drifted to her and you just watched, there was something oddly soothing about her nighttime routine.

The way she’d sit, how she carefully undid her hair, wipe away her makeup, undress and wrap a robe around herself readying for a bath or shower. Still there were no words said between the two of you, just comfortable silence, and she disappeared off to the showers.

Sometimes words just felt like a chore to get out, sometimes you needed a second to breathe, sleep it off, maybe a whole day, and that was fine with her, after you explained you never got hit with a “are you mad?” or a an angry “so did you have fun at all?”, which made you beyond happy.

Once she was out of the shower you knew her quiet time was officially over٫ she enjoys doing her selfcare in peace٫ who could blame her, which means you now get to happily and silently hear about her day.

“You know about two seconds after you left this morning I got a call that the one and only miss Wednesday Addams was already starting her mission on making my day impossible” You took your headphones off and turned to look at her as she began٫ showing she had your full attention.

She continued on, telling you everything from how she handled Wednesday to what she had for lunch, the coffee she bought that didn’t really taste like coffee which she was very offended at, that made you giggle, she sounded so genuinely insulted about this. “Oh by the way darling I put your keys in the key holder because i knew you were gonna go insane looking for them in the morning, stop just blindly throwing them!”

“mm my bad..” you mumbled out, by now you were both laying in bed, you kinda on top of Larissa, snuggled into her stomach with your arms around her waist. “It’s quite alright, I just don’t want you to stress about finding them later on.” You responded with a hum, playing with the hem of her sleep shirt.

“So when do I get to hear about your day out?” She asked, not really needing an answer just giving you the option of when to talk. You pretended to think about it for a long time with a drawn-out hum. “t’morrow- morning maybe?” She nodded, playing with your hair before she spoke again.

“Darling if you at any point want the blanket to be on top of us you need to move up.” You frown, picking up the blanket and throwing it fully on top of you both successfully reaching her top and hiding you completely. “Are you seriously planning to stay there the whole night?” You nodded. “And if I move?” She turned to her side and you moved along with her, dedicated to your position. “‘m fine here, comfy.”

Larissa sighed, you already decided you’re staying there, there’s nothing that’s going to change your mind, honestly she didn’t mind it, you’re just too far for her to cuddle, correctly anyways. “Goodnight, my darling” you delivered a soft kiss to her stomach. “Night, love.”

[r1poutmygvtz]

so this started as me saying i was gonna go back to doing what i normally do sleep-wise but i smoked and kinda got in my head and it turned into a long vent so yea idk, its kinda repetitive and all over the place ik but i just write the thoughts as they form so it's whatever, i don't feel like fixing it, HEAVY tw for suicidal thoughts and talk of death, brief ed talk

forget going to bed early, i hate waking up early, i hate being up during the day, i hate being around people, idrc about bettering myself anymore, yea i know i need to fix my sleep schedule and socialize more so i can actually function like the average person but i'm just not built for that, i'd rather blow my brains out or jump in front of a train than live like the rest of the people around me, why be constantly stressed out, overworked, and underpaid on top of being anxious, depressed, and dissociated when i can just kill myself and not have a single thing to worry about

rereading this and thinking about it and i think that's the problem, for as long as i can remember suicides always been an option, a backup plan for when things go wrong, i've been suicidal either actively or passively since i was 9 maybe 8 and that's really as far back as i can remember and even that's fuzzy, i never thought of working, i never thought of my future, im not supposed to have one, i'm supposed to be dead, i was supposed to die over 3 and a half years ago, i wasn't supposed to see 14 and now i'm nearly 17 with nothing going for me and no plans, goals, or dreams, i've been graduated for nearly a year, now what? the plan was to kill myself the day i graduated but i got switched to alternative school so it was sooner than i expected and i pussied out

tbh tho i could still die whenever i choose, i have everything i need to do it in the house with me right now, not that i'm gonna or plan on it, not for another year at least, it's just the fact that i could do it and it would be easier than living the average life, everyone makes it seem so easy and i don't understand, i genuinely don't get how people wake up excited for the next day, i dont think i'll ever understand

idk i guess i just don't see the point, you wake up, you go to work, you come home, and then what? wait to do it all over again pretty much every day for the rest of your life? for what? why go through all that stress and effort? what are we even living for? there's no end goal or reward for living, you just live, simple as that, you live until you die and everyone youve ever known dies and then you're forgotten, then what?

there's just no point in me being alive anymore, i don't benefit anyone, i don't have a purpose, i've lost all my potential, so why do i keep living? i honestly don't think i could name anything positive that's keeping me alive right now, my cat? she's got the rest of my family to give her love, my family and friends? they'll get over me eventually and until then they have each other, the only thing truly keeping me alive is the fact that i'm not skinny enough to die yet, you know how fucking sad that is? 16 years old and the only thing keeping me alive is the fact that i hate how i look so much that i'll starve myself until i finally kill myself

[arcticwolfpaws]

Chapter: 11 Sick days

I think it's obvious when I edit chapters after I wright them.... if ya'll like this then I may slow my posts to make sure I'm not stressing myself doing this.

as always link to my AO3 for the other chapters

https://archiveofourown.org/works/56481082/chapters/143531686

Faraj’s P.O.V

I woke up my head pounding and I ground softly cuddling into a ball pulling the blankets over my head, I hadn’t realized just how much my head was going to hurt. I listened as my door opened and heard Alfred’s breathing as he walked up to me I waited until he touched me to make a noise however and I let out a soft whine.

“Come now young master.” He said gently nudging me again, I sighed slowly sitting up but winced at the light from the window and tried to cover my eye. “Oh dear.” I heard Alfred stated right before I heard his foot steps walk away and the world around me grew darker. “Allow me to provide some headache medication.” He stated, I would have nodded but I wasn’t sure my poor head could take it so I mumbled.

“Alright.” as he walked off, gently shutting my door, I let out a soft sigh and ran my hands through my hair stopping on the top of my head and gave it a light tug to try and ease the pain. It didn’t really help but I had to try something with the way my head felt, the door squeaked again, the noise caused me to look up towards it, I had been expecting Alfred however I found father walking in a soft frown across his face.

“How are you feeling Alfred said you looked like you were in pain and head at the very least a headache.” He spoke in a soft tone and I was surprised to hear the softer undertones of genuine worry in his voice, I didn’t know how to react to it. “I want you to get looked at by our doctor. I’m going to have Alfred call you out of school today and I want you to rest alright?” As soft as his voice was, that worry had turned slightly firm leaving no room for me to argue. I just blinked at his blurry figure. I was surprised when he gently grabbed my chin he I was sure he was looking at me but I could barely make out his face much less his expression, I knew he was looking for something, What? Well that was beyond me. However I watched as his face relax a little before he let me go. “I’ll make sure Alfred gets you those meds.” He his tone was yet again gentle, before he started to move away, I don’t know why it upset me as much as it did but I found myself speaking in a very small voice.

“You’re going to come back right?” I watched as he walked far enough for me to see him clearly again he stopped before he turned around before walking back over to me. Before I knew what was happening I was pulled into a tight hug, I couldn’t remember being hugged like that before and I almost wondered if he was trying to squeeze me to death but he slowly loosened his grip and spoke softly.

“I’ll always come back Faraj, even if the world burned down I’d come back for you.” He stated his tone pointed but some how soft? How was it possible for someone to sound firm but so kind? “I’ll be back soon alright? I have some bored meetings and important people to meet but I will be back for dinner.” He slowly let me go completely. He slowly walked out and shut the door, I guess for most people it would have prevented them from hearing anything, but I wasn’t most people.

“Alfred, Can you call the school?” he asked and the older man was quick to reply,

“Of course sir, Is it a concussion?” I could hear the worried tone in his voice, and there was a pause,

“I don’t think so but I want him looked over properly,” There was a pause and he spoke again, “He’s been through a lot, that much shows not just in his scars.” Alfred hummed,

“Did he do something sir?”

“Nothing bad… but I want him talking to Dr Thompkins once he’s comfortable I know it’s not her specialty but the other options aren’t great either.” Father sounded stressed and I frowned had I made him stress? Or was this simply more to some pile I hadn’t yet seen… I mean I did have my suspicions on who he was once the sun went down.

“Of course sir.” his voice was calm, and suddenly my door was opened I glanced up and was met with a soft smile. “Hello young master.” he greeted, I noticed something in his hand but with out glasses I had to rely on my sonar, and honestly all that told me was it was round and metal with what sounded like a full glass on it.

“Hi.” I mumbled and he walked over to me setting the thing down on the end table allowing me to see that it was a metal tray with orange juice on it, I took the glass but before I could take a sip the old man gently took my hand and dropped a 2 pills into it.

“These should help you with you’re head.” I took the pills the slightly bitter orange juice helping me swallow them, when I opened my mouth to speak however Alfred wasn’t having it. “it is part of my job to care for you young master.” He set his hand on my head and spoke in a warm tone, “I have some calls your father has asked me to make.” He stated he turned to leave but seemed to stop by my door. “Please do ring that bell if you find you need something.” With that my door shut again and I was left alone with my throbbing head, I pulled my legs into my chest and let my mind wander to Mr Wilson. Would he be mad? Should I go back to the blue man? I really didn’t want to seeing as it’s pretty cold, Come to think of it what was taking him so long normally he’d have been back by now, it’s been what? Almost 3 months now? That was quite honestly concerning the longest he’d ever been gone was a month how much longer did I have here… did… did I even want to leave? I let out a heavy sigh as I slowly laid back closing my eyes. I liked father, I don’t think I want to go back….

🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇

I woke again for the second time today, due to a weight on my bed, I jumped when I heard a female voice. “I’m not sure it’s a good idea to wake him up i-” My movement had caused her to stop speaking. “Well, I guess that’s not a problem.” She stated and I felt a hand on my knee. “You’re okay son I’m Dr Thompkins, your Father asked that I run a few test alright? Nothing invasive, He just wants to make sure you don’t have a concussion from yesterday alright?” she asked and I paused for a long moment before nodding slowly, he voice told me she was an older woman however I couldn’t see her well, her hair looked white or wait was that her hair or a cloth?

“Umm okay.” spoke slowly and she hummed before she paused. I heard as she took a breath but Alfred spoke before she could.

“He does need glasses they broke during the indecent, and we have not been able to locate his other pair.” He explained as she grabbed my face, I tensed, as I held my breath I really didn’t like strangers touching me and all of my alarms screamed, but I didn’t lash out I didn’t fight I forced myself to stay still.

She ran me through a few tests checked my eyes and asked me a few questions, I think she was just trying to ensure I wasn’t struggling to think.

“He doesn’t have a concussion,” Alfred nodded as she spoke, but she wasn’t done however she glanced back at me, “Let’s have the rest of this conversation else were.” she started and I frowned, Was there something wrong with me? Shit.

“Am I okay?” I asked finding my voice annoyingly small, I sounded pathetic however it got me a very quick answer.

“No, Dear nothing is wrong with you at least not physically I just have some questions for Alfred.” She stated but I couldn’t help but frown seeing as I was a kid. But she took Alfred outside of the room, I was starting to be very thankful that no one knew what I could do.

“Whats the matter Miss Thompkins?” the old man’s voice asked gently,

“Bruce isn’t trying to get that poor boy involved is he? I know that Gotham needs the Batman but an albino? He’s got enough disadvantages as is he doesn’t need to be trying to fight people who could do series damage to him. Especially when he clearly already has scars.” She sounded almost angry, wait…. Batman? Had I really been right about that?

“Master Bruce has no intention of such a thing, Young Faraj was drugged and raised by Slade master Bruce wishes for him to see what it is like to live as a normal child.” Slade? I didn’t think I knew who that was however I kept listening.

“Alright… but that being said you and Bruce need to keep a close eye on him encase he starts getting into fights.” She stated and I was left wondering why she’d be so worried about that, she knew nothing of me.

“I promise you we are keeping a close eye on him.” Alfred stated his tone calm but firm, “Is there anything else, you think we should be aware of?” Despite the question she didn’t answer or at least she didn’t in a verbal way.

I slowly got up and stretched, I glanced at the door. Should I go talk to them? I paused before shaking my head before walking to the bathroom for a shower.

When I stepped out of the shower and made my way to my bed I found clothes laid out for me and I fumbled around as I got dressed, before gently opening the door and poked my nose out. I let out a soft squeak to allow my sonar to work and found nothing unusual in the hall, I slowly and quite honestly blindly walked down the hall. I wandered to were Father’s office was trying to see if he was home and heard him and Alfred speaking, it felt like I was doing a lot of listening in today.

“That’s what she said.” Alfred stated as I pushed open the door,

“Faraj.” Father’s voice was clear and calm when I did. “Alfred Can you make him some hot chocolate, And a glass of tea for myself.” he asked the old man, watched as the door became blurry and felt a hand on my shoulder before I felt a hand on my shoulder before it left as Alfred did. “Faraj, I wanted to ask how you were adjusting. I’m sure this has been a lot for you.” He spoke his voice calm as he spoke again, “And I know that this isn’t what you were expecting.” he stated as he walked up and slipped a pair of glasses on my face I blinked and he smiled gently.

“It’s… been interesting…” I paused as I thought on the m, after more before speaking again. “I’ve never really had friends that I got to stay close to before.” I wasn’t sure why I felt the need to share that but I did. And Father smiled softly as I said that.

“Well Feel free to invite your friends over, I don’t mind hosting a movie night or a sleep over from time to time.” I had no Idea what a sleep over was and tilted my head as I thought about it, it sounded pretty self explanatory but now I was curios.

“A sleep over? Why are you making that sound…. Like an event?” I asked and he chuckles before shaking his head with as soft laugh and spoke.

“It is or well it can be,” he explained he paused for a moment then smiled softly at me, “How about this, why don’t you invite that friend of yours over and I’ll show you. Pillow fort and all.” He sounded so proud of himself but now I was questioning what the hell he meant pillows were not a good material for a fort. “You’re friend. Jason said something about him, the Drake boy right?” He asked and I found myself nodding.

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I wasn’t sure where father got these glasses however they worked well enough for me to read, and reading I was curled up by the fire place reading were a thief found out she was a princess when I heard the door open, I looked up but realized it was on the other side of the room. I just sighed and looked back down, it would be a good minute before who ever it was would be viable and I was going to at least try and finish the chapter before I had to deal with anyone.

“Faraj?!” Tim’s voice called however I found that the heavy layer of books muffled his voice, I sighed softly but despite the interruption of my chapter I found myself smiling before I let out a soft whistle, Tim’s foot steps were annoyingly heavy today and I only realized it was the added weight of his backpack as he got in view. “Hey! Oh… Whatcha readin?” He asked watching up and leaning on the back of the chair.

“Fantasy book.” I told him then paused for a moment I really wasn’t paying much attention to my dark haired friend. “Let me finish chapter.” I mumbled and I could tell he was just waiting as I finished and set the book down before looking up into his blue eyes. “Alright, done.” I told him and he grinned at me.

“Honestly, I was worried about you when you didn’t come to school today are you okay?” He asked, I nodded and he leaned in close to me before his eyes light up. “Did batman save you?” He asked and I wanted to snort but at the same time he was right on some strange level but I shook my head.

“I umm no he didn’t,” I dropped my voice low as I spoke and he looked down at me wide eyeed and I sighed and spoke softly. “If I tell you, you can’t go around telling the hole world got it?” I asked him and he nodded grinning like a dumb ass, I sighed again.

“Killer crock found me and made sure I wasn’t to badly hurt, before he opened the sewers next to the cop station.” I told him and his eyes seemed to sparkle for a long moment before shaking his head softly and laughing a little.

“Okay now you are just pulling my leg. If crock was down there he’d have killed you.” I frowned as he stood back up. “Your dad offered to let me spend the night, he said you’ve never had a sleep over so why don’t you come help me build a fort?” He asked a grinn on his face and I frowned at him and scrunched my nose for a long moment before I sighed and shook my head.

“Alright… but you’re going to have to show me how this works since I haven’t the slightest clue.” I told him and he was practically bouncing as he led me away.

We walked into the main sitting room where Jason had already taken all the cushions off the couch, I froze in the door way, What the hell had I just walked into? Why did I feel like I was going to regret this? Jason looked up at me before he spoke as he grinned from ear to ear.

“Come on Grab some pillows and set up your part Alfred is getting us some extra pillows and blankets.” He Grinned, I hesitated this defiantly felt like he was trying to use this as a way to keep an eye on me like he said he was going to, however I sighed and shook my head and slowly walked in, I once again found my voice quieter then I had intended.

I observed, for a long moment then I sighed and shook my head as I watched them place the cushions like a wall it wasn’t exactly stable however, I had an idea. As I started building I used stray pillows that I found to try and stabilize the wall, everything was going well until Jason hit me with a pillow, I just stepped back startled when Tim grabbed a pillow and attacked him with it I just stepped back all I could hear was them giggling and hearing the ‘thwap’ of them hitting the pillows. I looked up to see who I had bumped into and saw Alfred, He smiled softly as he had an armful of blankets.

“Hello young master, I see that they have started a pillow fight, are you going to join?” He asked and I frowned as I shook my head slowly,

“I don’t think so that looks… painful and unnecessary.” I heard him chuckle softly,

“It is likely best that you avoid it as you have already hit your head enough in the last 48 hours.” As he spoke we watched as Jason was hit Tim hard enough to knock him over.

“Should we… stop them?” I asked as they started rolling on the floor beating one another with pillows while laughing.

“I think it will be alright until-” He was cut off as one of the pillows ripped sending feathers everywhere. I froze my mouth dropping open as the room was showered in feathers. I slowly covered my mouth, and looked over to Alfred who just seemed to sigh softly. Jason spoke quickly as he scrambled.

“I’ll umm help you clean up…” He looked a bit startled mean while Tim was coughing up feathers, as he tried to laugh a little.

“That would appreciated.” He stated Tim and I started to pick up the feathers as well and while I was sure it wasn’t perfect however we seemed to have been able to get most of them, “Let’s not beat one another sense less with feather pillows again.” I stated and Jason chuckled,

“Yeah, I mean to be fair feather pillows pack a surprising amount of a punch.” When he said that Tim laughed,

“Ya’ think? That hurt…. But your face when it broke.” He giggled and Jason swiped his legs out from under him, Alfred sighed and spoke seemingly trying to keep from causing another absolute mess.

“Why don’t we put the roof on the forts and begin a movie.” He stated and the others got excited.

“Oh yeah! Let’s watch ghost hunter’s boo world!” I hadn’t heard of that but Jason snorted.

“Let’s not Faraj doesn’t need nightmares his rooms to close to mine and I don’t want him to wake me up.” He stated firmly, “I mean why don’t we just watch something like? Rise of dragons?” He asked and Tim pouted a bit before thinking on it they both looked at me and called out

“Tie breaker!” I stepped back and slowly stepped back, putting my hands up and I spoke slowly not sure.

“Why not… umm Rise of dragons? It sounds like the first one, and I don’t want to start mid series.” I said softly and Tim seemed to perk up.

“Oh right, that’s fair I should make you watch those movies.” He stated cheerfully as he grabbed me and drug me over to the pile of blankets, I slowly picked one up and watched how they carefully spread them out over the top of there forts and scrambling to fix the walls that fell. I glanced back to Alfred who was walking away however to my surprise both Jason and Tim help me place the blanket when Jason spoke.

“Are you using throw pillows as wall support?” He asked and I nodded

“I thought the cushions might fall and was trying t-” I was cut off by Tim,

“Is it working?” He leaned over and Jason nodded,

“Holding for now, not a bad Idea either.” He stated and crawled in then back out. “ya have to be careful on the inside but looks like it works pretty well.” He stated and I sighed as I slowly sat down and chuckled. Not long after Jason had the moving running Alfred came in giving us each a bowl of popcorn.

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Bat files:

Timothy Drake (Tim)

Age: 12

A good kid from everything I can tell, The drake family travels a lot but at least during the school year they leave Tim home alone. Hes taken a liking to Faraj and I’m going to have to keep an eye on him as the last thing I want is for him to be a bad influence on him.

[mdhwrites]

Your Grom Factory post is so right!! I felt like the last parts of it felt off but I didn't know why until I read your analysis. I wanted to like the ending and Ayzee's character so bad because Milan and Ayzee looked so cute together (even if they weren't all that interesting) but Ayzee's final depressing thoughts just ruined it for me :(

I also agree with A Little Hint of Blue being boring. I'm a Vinira shipper so I may be biased but they feel so bland in the comic. I know it's supposed to expand Skara's character but she also just comes off as annoying to me, and it's weird because she kinda reminds me of Anne (her dynamic with Boscha reminds me of Sashanne) but I like Anne and I don't care for Skara. Also the musical scene was cringe, I'm sorry, might be because it's in a comic but still. I did like how the comic kinda expanded on healing and bard magic, the fight was cool even though I think it was ooc for Viney to fall for Skara's trick by the end of it.

So like I said before, I don't want to harp too much on Mark's work without a point. Honestly, if you want to talk about Mark's work with me, my DMs are open, I've talked about him a fair bit on my Discord (in fact, it was voicing that I wasn't certain about posting the blog on Discord that got one of my followers to reassure me I wasn't just being an ass and shouldn't worry so much that led to it being posted) or you can even just ask me non-anonymously and I'll answer in private. I'm not trying to start anything.

With that said, you actually bring up a really good and interesting point in regards to Skara's character that has been digging at me for a WHILE and is useful as a more condensed version of the issues with both Hunter and Amity's arcs who share a lot of issues and I will bring up throughout this as well. A Hint of Blue is indeed meant to expand her character by saying she's a generally and genuinely good person but she has to put on a performance for others. That she is stuck between the person who she is deep down and who society wants her to be. This is effectively the same trick the show does for both Hunter and Amity so A: it is literally nothing new and B: it suffers from similar issues while its specific methodology is a NIGHTMARE to portray well. Worse yet, both of these issues render Skara's character somehow less than the blank canvas it already was.

See, and this is the big part of why I decided to respond, Skara's trick is to show someone with a pure survival response in this regard. She hasn't internalized ANYTHING that people push upon her by what her actions have shown. This means it is all an act rather than these outside forces having had a deeper personal impact. Hunter and Amity, again, suffer similar issues but they at least pay some lip service to the idea that they're not just twin personalities. There is some overlap. For Amity, it's when she is still somewhat cold after breaking the everlasting oath in Covention as even when shown kindness, she still keeps some of that distance. Or heck, just her entire first appearance honestly. For Hunter, it's the constant reinforcement of needing to please Belos. Moments that show that even when the external pressure isn't actively there, it is weighing on their mind, much like how Zuko clearly always had something stressing him out, even when all was quiet. It's part of why how easily Amity throws off her shackles, and how Hunter doesn't actually refute the morality he's clearly been taught, make their arcs and characters weaker because it implies that these pressures never actually got in.

And unfortunately for Mark, he can't seem to decide which version he has and canon supports neither option. In the very first page of the comic, Mark emphasizes A: how long Skara has been being a bully. Not just a bully but enjoying it as even her first act of monstrosity, kicking a sand castle down, is greeted with a smile while she is still very small. This implies some part of her is just cruel. But that's being actively contrasted by B: having her immediately willing to break the bitch code Boscha has in place by apologizing to Viney without any real hesitancy until Boscha speaks up, implying her instincts are to be nice. Mind you, in that first comic she does need to be pushed to destroy the sandcastle... But not to claim be wronged. She first, before the prompting, claims the playground as hers. She's not pushed to be pushy but to stand up for herself and claim what is hers. Not actually inherently unhealthy so long as you aren't a bitch about it honestly which, yes she was being.

And this sort of incongrueny gets better and worse as the story goes on, let alone with the framing of it. After all, the story is trying to frame it as her being a naturally good person who only acts up due to Boscha. This is why Viney, for no reason, is so anti-Boscha. She is meant to be the second world that Skara is being pulled between. When written REALLY POORLY, this is how you get Skara stating Boscha isn't that bad and actually cares in her own way one comic and then literally two comics later, Boscha destroys Skara's chance at romance while mimicking Dio (I know it's Jojos in general but like... Why Jojos there at all?). It's superficial to put it extremely mildly.

As a note, this would actually be the heart of the sort of stuff I would talk about, characters making choices because they fit the tropes of the story, if I decided to talk about the Hallmarks (pun intended) of boring romances. Forced character writing with zero motivation or real flavor is the normal core to that problem.

And well... When your motivations as a character are "I inherently have a heart of gold!" versus "I am the puppet of the most evil fourteen year old on my continent"... You get a really boring lamp that keeps getting passed around. It's meant to expand on Skara's personality but instead it reduces it to NOTHING. Or, it's that her personality is ENTIRELY dependent on whoever she is around and the nice version is the version that Viney gets because she believes Viney will kick her ass otherwise as that is actually the reason the first apology comes out. Or appears to with how worried Skara immediately becomes while Viney rolls up her sleeves.

And since you brought it up and they're PERFECT FOR THIS, let's contrast this with Sasha and Anne. They actually are this sort of dynamic after all. Sasha forces Anne to do things outside of her comfort zone through using their friendship and this is bad for Anne but Anne does it because what Sasha gives her is fun, it's exciting and it's from someone who at least claims to genuinely care about her. Even at her meanest, Sasha is wanting to spend time and make Anne's life better. It's part of why her character is so great. Skara gets lip service in the first comic about liking being on the top of the food chain but all her actions are independent and even the final panel goes out of its way to show Boscha leaving Skara behind, showing the actual gulf in their relationship. It's lip service that Skara will spend literally the ENTIRE rest of the comic saying she hates. She doesn't actually ever act like she ever gets anything out of this.

Then we have the second world pulling Anne: The Plantars. Suddenly, she is shown that you can be loved and cared for by other people without having to do morally dubious things... And she chaffs at it because it does mean more complicated relationships. Hop Pop and her don't understand each other. Polly isn't the gal pal she wants even though she is a gal and a pal. Even Sprig still chafes at her her habits and the like while Sasha may have more cleverly gotten to stop anything she didn't like. This is part of why Anne isn't all that great to the Plantars early on. She doesn't want the work that goes into a real relationship. She'd rather be subservient and have it be simple. It's only through seeing just how much better these people are, and how it feels to have her own autonomy, that she breaks her chains and discards Sasha, at least for a while until they're both in healthier places. As a note, THIS is why S1 of Amphibia is the way it is because this shit takes TIME, let alone while also using an entire town to reinforce these lessons.

Skara meanwhile just... likes the other world. That's really it. She just gravitates towards being nice and real connections, just like Hunter and just like Amity. As always is stated: We're TOLD that she likes being on top but why? It's never even elaborated on with words, let alone shown to us but also yes, this would have extended the arcs overall to show this. Like I said, Amphibia spends a lot of time on groundwork for a reason. Arguably more than it needed to but it still needed a large amount of time to make the payoff and journey as satisfying as it is.. Even TOH understood this with Amity as they pretend for a little longer than a single line that she has reasons to want to be on top until she just drops it all once no one is looking. -_- This attempt to make it less blatant though is part of why Amity dominates a THIRD of the entire series.

And honestly, between this and the enemies to lovers trope from the base show (and actually this too I guess if Viney didn't seem to have some deep seated hate for Boscha that we just haven't been told about yet) I really am getting tired of people seeming to think romance really is a simplistic genre. In fanworks, you get a lot of quick romances, yes, but that's fine. They're normally not trying to claim to be doing an arc or the like with it. They're just bringing two characters they like together. However, romance is an entire GENRE for a reason. You can tell whole stories just around a romance with no other elements because just two people interacting and figuring out deepening feelings is one of the most complex elements for a writer to figure out, regardless of which complex emotion you're choosing. If you don't actually figure that out though, romance tends to be the genre where characters show their narrative purpose fastest. Where you feel the hand of the author forcing the characters together the most. It's why the romantic subplot is such a despised narrative trope. It's why Amity descending into being a love interest is so sharp because capital L LU- LOVE is all she's about now.

And that is the case here too. Skara is all about Viney... Because this is a romance. That is a not deep character, that is a sexy lamp that happens to sing.

======+++++======

I didn't even hint to giving the two moments to bond and have real chemistry instead of just lecturing at each other. *screams* GEE, the romance writer has opinions on romance!? Never would have guessed. I won't even say I'm perfect at it, I'm definitely still improving myself, but it is technically my genre, even back when I was writing harem erotica.

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

A Twitter you can follow too

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.

[darkisucksanditwrites]

visit

There weren’t many things that Alhaitham would genuinely worry about.

On the fingers of one hand Cyno could list them; his position as the Grand Scribe, his precious books, his morning coffee (he was particularly fussy about it) and with some shy disbelief, Cyno had to admit that he, himself made the list.

So to see Haitham fuss about his appearance for once in his life was very interesting to say the least.

“Don’t you think you’re overdoing it a bit?” Cyno commented from where he was leaning against a wall of Haitham’s bedroom, arms crossed and head tilted curiously watching the other man fret uncharacteristically with the choice of his outer tunic.

He had two options: light gray and dark green and he couldn’t decide which one to match with his black short he had on for today.

Cyno thought it didn’t really matter; to him nor to the person they were going to visit anyway.

“Not at all.” Alhaitham said, putting on the tunic – the deep green one, and then picking up a comb from the dresser.

Cyno rolled his eyes and pulled from the wall, walking up to him. He himself was dressed down to simple loose pants and a shirt that barely reached his waist. Perfectly normal and casual outfit for a casual dinner visit.

Yet, Alhaitham insisted on dressing up for the occasion.

“You know he won’t notice right?”

Haitham ignored him in favor of styling his hair.

Cyno sighed.

“You’ve met him already.” He leaned over the dresser, his back to the mirror so he could look up at Haitham. “I don’t see why you think it’s such a big deal.”

Haitham lowered the hand which held the comb and looked at Cyno. His hair was now neatly pushed back, revealing more of his forehead and both of his eyes.

Cyno swallowed. He looked good. But he didn’t need to know that. Hell, he probably knew that already anyway.

Haitham frowned suddenly.

“Why do you assume I won’t take a visit to your only living parent seriously?”

“I didn’t say not take seriously. I just don’t know why you should stress over it so much.”

“I’m not stressed over it.” Haitham answered a bit too quickly and Cyno hummed knowingly. They were silent for a moment, Cyno observing Haitham further primping in front of the mirror and part of him wanted to feel a little jealous he rarely did that for their outings but then most of their ‘dates’ were very casual and mostly at home anyway, just how both of them liked.

“What about your grandmother?”

Haitham paused and looked at Cyno, curious about the random question.

“What about her?”

“You said that if she were here, she would love me no matter what, because you do.” He paused for a moment fighting against the embarrassment and the warmth in his face. “So why do you think Professor will be different?”

Haitham put the bottle of cologne back on the dresser and stepped closer to Cyno, crowding him a bit in his space.

He put one warm palm on Cyno’s cheek and tipped his face up so he had to look him in the eyes.

“Ah that’s because I am not as easy to love as you are.”

Cyno’s breath caught in his throat and his blush finally exploded on his face. Haitham held his gaze for an unnecessary moment longer, before he smiled in satisfaction and pulled away.

“Besides I know he doesn’t like me.”

“Ha? How come?”

Haitham shrugged.

“We had an unfortunate exchange of views some years ago.”

Cyno raised an eyebrow, ignoring his still hammering heart from the stunt before. Haitham was right though. He wasn’t the easiest person to love but that didn’t mean it was less rewarding to when he did. Quite the opposite.

He dismissed the thoughts. For now.

“And you think he’s going to held it against you?”

“Of course.” Haitham said, fixing his hair a bit.

Cyno hummed again.

“Especially if you’re his son. He’s not going to approve you being with just anyone.”

Cyno frowned.

“Haitham, I am an adult. If Professor has a problem with the choice of my partner, then that’s…his problem not mine.”

Haitham didn’t respond.

“But I don’t think he will.”

“That would be preferrable.”

Cyno signed. He grabbed the tails of Haitham’s tunic and dragged him to his level. Then he dipped his fingers of both his hands into Haitham’s perfectly styled hair and purposely messed it up.

He silenced his murmur of protest with a silent ‘hush’. Haitham sighed and let Cyno do what he wanted until his hair was back to his usual look.

“There.” He said and then pressed his forehead to Haitham’s, eyes closed. “Just be your typical self. That’s all I want.”

“Usually, people do not enjoy my ‘typical’ self you know.” He murmured.

Cyno snorted.

“I am not just anyone.”

Haitham’s lips twitched.

“That you aren’t.”

Cyno pushed him away.

“We’ll be late.”

Haitham looked at the clock.

“Mn. Indeed.”

“Professor won’t like it.”

Haitham looked at him for a moment before he smirked.

He grabbed Cyno around the waist and brought him close for a deep kiss.

“Too bad.” He said when they parted and Cyno had to put his hand on the dresser behind him when Haitham let him go so suddenly.

He disappeared into the kitchen, before he reappeared with a bottle of chilled Mondstad wine.

“A peace offering.”

Cyno smiled briefly.

When they closed the door, Cyno took his hand and huffed in amusement.

“So you are nervous.”

“A bit.” He finally admitted and looked at Cyno. “I believe we are now very fashionably late. Shall we?”

“Mhm.” Cyno hummed, squeezing Alhaitham’s trembling hand in his and they set off to meet the man that raised Cyno and gave him a home.

AO3 link

[a-drama-addict]

im pretty sure tumblr straight up gobbled up my ask from yesterday (if not um, whoops sorry!) so belated sigrid swednesday ask game submission: 6, 7, 8, 11, 12, 13, 16, 18, 20, 21, 24, 25, 27, 30

happy sigrid swednesday thursday everyone. [ask game]

6. How would the player go about meeting them in Act 1? What is their introduction?

Ohh probably the ruins where you can find Withers, arguing with the people there. "Let me in or I'll cut you." Being the first thing you hear probably. When you walk in on it she'll probably point her weapon at you, biggest scowl on her face. Though you can quickly tell by her demeanor she's more scared than actually a threat (at the moment.) You can choose to either talk her down, encourage the attack, or attack her. The first two options can actually lead into her recruitment.

7. Describe their arc. How would a player help resolve it? What choices can be made? Can your Tav be turned down a dark path, or pulled to a lighter one?

Sigrid's main arc would definitely be whether she becomes an Unholy Assassin of Bhaal or not. She is generally more inclined towards doing it if you don't intervene, because if left to just her own instincts it's.. "Kill, kill, kill again" quite literally.

But she can be pretty easily persuaded into a path of light, especially if you have high approval.

I think helping would mostly involve intervening (quite literally) when she wants to submit to the urge. Like you could stop her from killing Alfira, stop her from sharing the Grove's location with Minthara (she'll try to regardless if the player does or not.)

8. After Act 3, what does their life look like? What are they talking about at the reunion party?

Post-game she would probably just live in Baldur's Gate, helping rebuild. She'll talk of the possibility of moving elsewhere, because the city has so many negative memories for her.

She does have a job as a writer now! She tries to write true crime books which get.. reviews on being eerily realistic with some gory details.

11. What is your Tav’s go-to comfort food?

Oh beef steak definitely! She likes the texture and taste combo, feel like she'd love to eat that.

12. Does your Tav have any tattoos or scars? Why?

Yep! She has one right across her face, and her neck. Both self-inflicted, in a show of worship to Bhaal when she was just getting initiated you know. She has a tattoo that's just a stripe from the edge of her lower lip to her chin.. because she thought it looked cool when she was like twenty.

13. What is your Tav’s main color palette? Why do they choose those colors?

BROWNS AND BLACKS!!! SHE LIKES THE NEUTRALITY!!! IT DOESNT HURT HER EYES!!!

16. What do they do for fun, when not adventuring? What are their hobbies?

Sigrid is pretty fond of learning how to read! Because of her lobotomy (thanks orin) she has to relearn how to do this and she actually practices a lot with Karlach and Gale. I kind of rambled about this in my other post in my tags- but this is based on dialogue you can have with Karlach about reading together. Since she has to relearn I imagine reading with Karlach and sometimes Gale helps her and genuinely entertains her.

18. Where/with whom do they feel safest?

Karlach!! Unsurprisingly. But Karlach is truly the only person who she can.. confide in, be quiet and stay in spot, never worry about saying the wrong thing. (Not that she can't say anything wrong, but she's less stressed about it with Karlach.)

20. What is their relationship to touch? Do they shy away from it? Do they need it to feel present?

complicated. From some people she craves it, she kind of wants it every day at the very least, to feel something, to feel real. (i.e. Karlach, Wyll, Shadowheart.) But with most others she'll snap if she's touched without a go-ahead or warning. (Snap as in get annoyed.)

21. Describe a defining moment from their past, which makes them who they are today!

Hmmm this sweet moment she had with Orin when they were both kids in the Bhaal temple where she braided her hair. They talked normally about things for a moment, about things they like. (In their weird, bhaalspawn ways maybe.) Both had an affinity to art, Orin was the painter whereas Sigrid was the storyteller. It was a connection of creativity and care, and through it she puts a lot of value in art and hair

24. What does your Tav consider to be their own biggest character flaw?

Incompetency. She feels she's incompetent at.. a lot. (Emotional intimacy, sexual intimacy, battle, writing, reading, music- practically everything. Except for killing. She's good at that in her eyes.) Though she rarely shows this insecurity.

25. What is something they would die on a hill over?

HMMMMMM. Even through the negative associations she has with BG, she'd defend that damn city from any negative reputation with her life.

27. What is the worst thing they’ve ever done/said to someone they love?

Ohhh. Hm. Well there's this line from a wip i'm not even remotely done to finishing where she tells Karlach, during one of her.. lets say Dark Urge moments where she practically tells Karlach "I'd kill you just to send you back to the Hells, Hell-dog." Karlach would argue that's not really 'Sigrid' though, it is, but it also isn't. Sig apologizes profusely the next morning, its definitely the one of the things she regrets saying most or even thinking. The Urge is nasty, and its the blight of her existence until its gone.

30. What does your Tav want more than anything?

Freedom, peace. The sense that when she wakes up and makes a decision it's hers and no one else's.

[disdaidal]

I can't remember the last time I've cried this hard, but I guess it was time.

So my new school is pretty much now pressuring me to find a place to train at, which is not stressful at all, because the workplace I went for an interview last week hasn't returned my calls or my email, despite the principal initially seemed genuinely interested in my application.

Thing is, I wouldn't be this stressed out at all but my new teacher made it pretty clear today that next week is gotta be the deadline for that contract - otherwise my studies really aren't going anywhere.

I also missed my doctor's appointment yesterday because I missed the train. I had to wait for that appointment for 3 fucking months, and because it's related to my financial situation (I'm really trying not to get more student debt, especially with the way how I've been and how I barely managed to keep my shit together during pandemic). Luckily I was able to talk on the phone with her and the social worker, but my new appointment was rescheduled at the end of the month. I also talked to my nurse on the phone a little after that; a nurse who I haven't seen in the last six months because all our appointments have been cancelled at the last minute. So I got a new one in September.

My sleeping schedule has been pretty much fucked up all July-August, and for the last two days that I've been going to the city and attending these classes, I've slept like 6 hours in total these two days. Both days I've come home feeling extremely drained (besides those 6 hrs in total, I napped all evening yesterday). And last night I slept something like 2 hours before school and when I finally got back by train a couple of hours ago, I tried to sleep on the train but I felt so nauseated that I thought I was gonna hurl. Needless to say, my car ride back home was all but fun.

When I finally got home and laid down in my bed for a while, I started crying. Like I know it's probably because I've literally slept like 2hrs last night and it wasn't even a deep sleep, so, think I've just had it. My body and brain couldn't take it anymore.

But when I was on the train, I was going to call the school's office (the one I went to that interview for), but naturally their calling hours had already ended at 2pm. I also thought about sending another email but like I said, I felt extremely tired and anxious; making more phone calls and sending more emails when I'm feeling this way really isn't the way I want to go again. Especially since I already tried both on Monday when they were supposed to inform me last Friday, and I haven't got any response since. Which is not very nice to be honest (my new teacher did comment it's kind of unprofessional of them, and I gotta agree a little bit there).

But seriously, the only thing that's even made my last two school days tolerable, were the other students in my class. I kind of took up smoking again (bad habit I know) because of all this stress and shit that's been going on with me lately, so at least it was an easy way to get to know some of our other students, and got to spend some time with them, so at least I didn't have deal with my worries all alone. Our Moroccoan student (whom I've talked a lot with; I got along with him already on our entrance examination on May) tried to encourage me today when we were smoking, and even said I could try and apply to the same place he works at - which is working with immigrants mostly. Since I did choose international studies as one of my optional subjects, that could also work, because sooner or late I'm gonna have to work/train at a place like that anyway.

But obviously my first and foremost goal right now is try to find a place near where I live because obviously traveling isn't cheap, and I might indeed have a couple of places around here in mind that I could ask for training opportunities.

In any case, if I don't get an answer by tomorrow (we'll have another long school day so I probably won't have any time to be making extra phone calls anywhere), I think I'm just gonna ditch this thing and start calling other places on Monday.

If this is how it's gonna be and I'm on a strict deadline here, I don't suppose there's any other choice. I'm not willing to give up just yet - though I admittedly thought of that for a moment, too. Since I've become somewhat depressed lately again, clearly, and that must have something to do with my bpd. Which is fucking *nice* because right now I'm supposed to be active and efficient so I can actually get shit done and get my studies properly started - and yet right now, I'm feeling all but that.

So I guess I'll go to another class tomorrow - we have a special day anyway as we're visiting a local museum at the end of the day, so. Maybe I can try to forgive myself for being the way I am and give this whole thing a rest until weekend. And if the teacher asks about it tomorrow as she might, I'm just gonna say I'm going try again on Monday.

Cause I really don't see any other choice right now. But again, I'm really not lying about this. I'm not feeling my best right now, and this kind of pressure and stress is not doing me any favors.

[undead-potatoes]

SUNNY, did someone ask about Aurora and Jay and whether they like kids?? Do they get along with them, are annoyed by them? Would they want kids for themselves? How have they interacted with the kids in the bg3 world so far?

No-one did, so thanks for asking B)

This is gonna be long as usual so 🐻 with me

- - -

Much like she's with people in general, Aurora is kinda bad with kids. She likes them, quite a lot in fact, but she's awkward and doesn't know how to interact with them in a natural way. She does find them so so charming though, and enjoys being around them and observing their antics. I think she admires them too for how resilient they can be, how even in the face of so many horrors they're still filled with so much of that childlike joy.

But the Urge makes interactions difficult, since they're often extra gruesome around kids (as you pointed out). She tries her best to interact casually with any kids coming her way, but I think she also keeps her distance for the most part while the Urge rages on. Yenna might be the hardest one for her, since she's someone Rory has to interact with on a regular basis. It goes well for the most part, but I think Yenna probably picks up on Rory's weird vibes and just decides to keep interactions to a minimum (maybe she thinks Rory doesn't like her? Like what did she do wrong?)

She does want kids of her own she discovers, once she's free to live life on her own terms, but she's terrified of passing on any bhaalspawn bullshit to a biological child, so that's a route she doesn't even dare explore. There are other ways of becoming a parent though, and I can see her and Shadowheart bringing up a child together at some point (and I imagine Astarion is just mommy's weird boyfriend who teaches them all the wrong things and is over there like "I hate this kid. If anything ever happens to them I'm gonna turn into John Wick tho.")

- - -

First of all, I just posted a Jay backstory bit that's been sitting in my drafts since October, which adds some context to Jay's relationship with kids already in his life.

So very firmly on the other side of the scale we have Jay, who is really great with kids, possibly even better than with most adults. He knows how to talk to them in a way that makes them feel seen and respected, while still keeping in mind that they're children. Chatting with them, joking around, providing them comfort, it all comes pretty natural to him.

He obviously has a soft spot for the tiefling orphans. Looking at them he sees a reflection of himself from 40 years ago, and many of their schemes genuinely amuse him, though some of them are uuuh a little worrying. I think he tries to sway Mol a little bit since she's their leader, to steer her away from the worst of it, but she's just too stubborn for that. Her whole ordeal with Raphael really stressed him out tbh.

Yenna is an interesting one bc usually I would just write her off and say she never joined the party (it's a bit silly tbh), but Jay absolutely would pick her up and have her tag along if he thought she would be safer with them than being on her own. I assume they get along just fine (she mostly just has the personality of "pleasant child" in-game), and I think he enjoys teaching her stuff, for better and for worse. He's totally the kind of guy who will teach kids some questionable things (often by accident), and then go "no wait, do as I say, not as I do".

I initially (like months ago) thought of him as someone who might want kids, but I'm not so sure anymore. At least not in a way where he'll actively go out of his way to have children; any child that just happens to fall into his lap is a different story. This is partly why I'm a little conflicted about Yenna post-game, like what WOULD he do? He'd be very hesitant to send any child to an orphanage unless there were no other options, so idk where she ends up.

Overall I think he's just fine being everyone's favorite uncle. The kids love him, he brings the coolest gifts, and he gets to interact with them on a frequent basis in smaller bursts. He's the first anyone asks to babysit, and he almost always says yes, much to Gale's annoyance I'm sure ("but what about our plans, love" "we can do that tomorrow, they never get time off from the kids").

[cagenewman]

On one hand, I want to say yes, because I understand not wanting the creepy doll on our property. On the other… do you feel like that's some really, really bad karma that might end up causing more trouble for us? You absolutely are not going to burn down our house! We've worked too hard on this house, there's no way I'm going to let you light it up and blow this popsicle joint. Although I probably would come with you, but let's not worry about that, the doll can't actually hurt us, no matter how scared of it we are… or at least I hope. I know… but maybe we can turn her into a farm girl instead, she has a pet donkey now and chickens and ducks to chase, maybe she'll slowly get over the whole spooky Halloween thing, you know? Hmm… no. Thank you for the suggestion, but no, I still don't trust them. I'll go along with it so as not to cause waves, but you know I've got my ear to the ground to make sure that they don't start ruining our home, and I always will. So you'd let her join the basketball team but probably very kindly and politely ask her to put the cheerleading uniform on just once to see how she looked in it before you gave up on that dream? But I get it, I was the same way when Colton wanted to get into sports, I always told him to do it for him, not for me, and he's always assured me that that's what he's doing, doing something for himself, and I believe him. Based on what I've seen, I think they can get it designated. There's enough paperwork showing, you know, this person lived here since day one, they built this bungalow, they caught lobster and helped establish the lobster trade… but yeah, basically in cases where they can't say that it's historical, or if it's something that I look at and genuinely don't think that it can be salvaged, it goes up for auction or for sale. Normally corporations buy them out and like you said, condos, big houses, gas stations… but every now and then someone will buy it and sit on it, even if they can't save the building. I've stopped a few sales, I'll be honest. Show up when I know they're assessing the property, tell them about the history, talk about how important this town is to the people who grew up here… the ones who have a heart leave. Well, as long as I'm a cute nerd, I guess I'll take it. Oh, please, he's an excellent snuggler, we're going to go lay out in the pasture and look at the stars, you know, and then you'll look outside and see us out there and get so insanely jealous about how peaceful our evening is, mark my words. I don't think that you're being cruel or vindictive, no, and I think that taking your time is good. It's either that or rush into something and push yourself to feel something that you're not ready to feel, or end up hurting yourself, and I don't want that, either. I get it, though. The upset? I do. And I know that I play a huge part in t hat, I know that if anyone's to blame in this, it's me, because -- well, I don't need to tell you why, you lived through it, but. I get it, you don't have to explain yourself to me. Do you want to go back to work? I know when you came home, we were tossing around some options, trying to figure out what you wanted to do. The only thing I ask is that you don't stress yourself out this fall. Please? I don't want bright colors. We're already going to have fall colors as a back drop, I was thinking something softer? More subdued, gentle tones, champagne, sage, bronze… what were you thinking? If you say teal and fuchsia, we're going to have to rock, paper scissors this.

Okay but like hypothetically, I know we have twenty acres, but can we bury the creepy dolls of the future on someone else's land? Or random land that no one owns because I feel like putting them in our land is still bad juju that we don't need. If it somehow comes back I'm burning it all down and moving, like out of Merrock. You can come with or not but I'm going where it can't find me. I'm not really sure, because I'm definitely not a Halloween person, never have been. I can enjoy dressing up but it's not like I live for it like some people. Let alone the spookier side of things? She must get that all on her own and we love an independent queen but she had to choose spooky? Maybe she'll grow out of it. You are not using our daughter as a way to take down the benefactor in some master plan when she's older. We haven't seen anything bad in what? Several years other than a few galas, a few trips? I think you need to just accept that maybe they're not that bad and they just don't want to be actively known. Would I be disappointed? I mean doesn't every ex-cheerleader mother want their daughter to follow in their footsteps? Of course! But I would also want her to be happy. My mother forced me into all of that but I actually loved it, it's what made it bareble which is why I ended up Captain of the cheer squad, leader of dance team, because it was what I loved doing. But if she came home and wanted to join the football team, or the girls basketball team I'd be out there cheering her on just as much as anyone. Thigh high leather boots are always open for later discussion. Sounds like a great day to me, think it'll at the very least be interesting to see what goes on into trying to make a property a historical site. What's going to happen if they don't deem it historical? Can someone buy it before someone goes and makes a crazy bunch of condos or anything like that? I'm just curious. You do sound like a nerd but a very, very cute nerd. Exactly only a sophomore, that's technically still three years of high school since he has to get through his sophomore year. So just enjoy it because yes, it does go by too fast, but the more you let yourself enjoy it the better it'll all be. I didn't say that you know I think Beanstalk is adorable I just want mini versions of things that are like me sized too. So don't go twisting the words, sir. Or you'll be sleeping out in the stall with Beanstalk and seeing how well he cuddles. That's all I need, some time. It's not like I'm a cruel or vindictive person. I want Merrock to welcome her and be a home to her if that's where she wants to be I just can't... be that person to be overly welcoming right now. Not yet. I hate that I have a sore spot in the fact that you were married, it doesn't seem fair, but I also can't help it. There's just something unsettling right now, and I'm trying to figure it all out without overwhelming myself when I have enough on my plate. Which speaking of, we need to talk about a few things. Like me going back to work, and my course load in the fall. I'm gonna say no on the boots for now, maybe I'll put some on at the end of the night just for you. I'm making no promises first. I have to figure out my dress or dresses first. Flowers? Oh. Tough. I mean there's classic roses, which are always beautiful. If we went that route I'm thinking tea or peach roses. Something a bit different. Peonies are gorgeous. No lilies. Beautiful but not for me. Think we need to figure out the color scheme first before we settle on flowers actually.

[maxislvt]

Silent Night

Summary: Even rock stars get caught up in the holiday rush.

Warnings: R being gay, Wanda being a mommy, me projecting a tiny bit but that's what y'all are here for!

A/N: No, I am not addicted to popstar Wanda at all!! (I'm lying)

Event Masterlist

❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃

The Christmas rush was not something to be ignored, especially if you were a musician. Where most people only had to start worrying around mid-November, you were forced to start all the way in October. Halloween had come and gone, but you were on crunch time in your studio.

Despite the weeks-long headstart, you had nothing ready to spark holiday cheer. You did technically have some songs. Several fully completed songs. It was just that none of them satisfied you. The Thunderbolts was a band filled with magnificently talented people. Your music had to be perfect. You didn't care if that meant you spent long hours in your studio. Your girlfriend, on the other hand, did care. Wanda was a festive woman and refused to celebrate the holiday without you.

Originally, you two had compromised. You'd do all your lyric writing at home and then spend a few hours at your studio mixing and sampling as needed. Regardless of what you did, you had to be done by 6 pm and spend the rest of the night at home with Wanda. The lack of your familiar hums and empty driveway upon her return home told Wanda you hadn't kept your end of the deal. One slightly annoying drive later, her suspicion had been confirmed.

"I know the fingerprint lock on the outside is to keep people from getting in, but I didn't know it stopped you from getting out."

Wanda's voice made you stop in your tracks. For a moment, you just sat there. There was no way it had been past 6 o’clock. You left the house at 12 that evening and only wrote about 12 lines you were proud of. Checking your phone to see it was 9:46 pm was a major blow to your confidence. "I, uh, I thought I had another hour?" The statement sounded more like a question. Mostly because you were genuinely confused. You slowly turned around in your chair. "I'm sorry, I think I just lost track of time. I —"

Wanda cupped your checks and slowly examined your face. "Baby, how long have you been here? You look like you haven't slept in days." The bags under your eyes were genetic, but they somehow looked heavier. The once perfectly soft skin on your lips had been chewed and rubbed raw. She pulled you close and forced you to rest your head on her stomach. This wasn't the first time Wanda watched you overwork yourself, but she was happy to be the one to pull you out of your habits. "Why don't we go home and rest up for a bit? I brought back some of that hot chocolate you like."

Normally, the promise of good hot chocolate and cuddles would be enough to get you to do anything, but you were far too stressed. You shook your head and pulled away. "I can't, I gotta finish at least one of these songs before we go home." Pulling away from Wanda's touch was near impossible, but you forced yourself to do it anyway. "Just give me another hour, I promise I'll be done."

Wanda sighed. This was clearly important to you and dragging you away from your studio wouldn't do any good. She’d lost count of how many times you’d snuck out to work on music. "Fine, but I have to help and you have to sit in my lap." She giggled at the embarrassed face you made. "It's either that or I take you home and wrap you up in blankets like a newborn cat."

You huffed in disapproval but stood up and allowed Wanda to sit in your chair. It was hard to tell what you were feeling exactly. Either stress had entirely consumed you or you were falling into Wanda's trap. Part of you hoped it was the second option. "I wrote a bunch of stuff earlier, but these are the only complete songs I have." You opened some files on your laptop. "Only two have music behind them right now."

Wanda nodded along as you spoke. Her hand slipped underneath your shirt and rubbed small circles on the skin of your stomach. Sure, Wanda had promised you an hour but she was going to get you home as fast as she could. "Lemme hear the two with music, we can work on the 3rd one last." She put on the headphones attached to your laptop. She tentatively listened to the song as she rocked you side to side in her lap. "This is beautiful, baby! Why don't you like it?"

A heavy yawn fell from your lips. "It just doesn't sound festive enough! I feel like I'm not hitting these notes right." Staying awake in Wanda's grasp was an endless uphill climb. Keeping your will to fight was even harder. "I was thinking of giving it to someone else, but I don't wanna let it go."

"We can make a duet." Wanda smiled when you excitedly turned around towards her. "Tamper with the notes a bit and split up the lyrics and we'll have our first song together." She peppered your excited face with kisses. "We can record it next weekend and then the company can release it on Christmas day if you want. "

The longer Wanda kissed you, the harder it was to ignore that familiar warm buzz underneath your skin. Sleep was calling your name, but you wouldn't give in unless Wanda prompted you to do so. "That's fine with me…just highlight the parts you wanna sing." Your eyelids felt heavier than the metal you made a living singing. Your highlighting and annotating were so hard to read, Wanda had to guide your head through the rest of it. You didn't even register the fact Wanda moved on to the other song until you saw a new file opened. "Wait, I don't remember…"

Wanda hummed softly. "Hey, I think you've done enough for today. Why don't we head home?" Her arms wrapped around your stomach, pulling you impossibly closer. She had you wrapped around her fingers. There was no way you'd say no to her now. "We can watch that reindeer musical you like so much. Then I can wrap you up in your favorite blankets. Doesn't that sound nice?"

That was it. You had fallen under another one of Wanda's magical spells. "You mean the one about Rudolph and the dentist elf?" The confirmation was all you needed. "Okay, I'm ready to go home now."

Wanda gave you another kiss before letting you stand up. "Don't worry about your car, I'll have someone come pick it up in the morning."

❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃

The promise of a movie night and hot chocolate had seemingly reinvigorated you. Though you were hesitant and sluggish when leaving your studio, you couldn't sit still during the car ride. Wanda thought it was adorable.

"How did you get the shavings so small? Mine are all big and chunky." The lack of a break was still clearly affecting your performance a bit. Cooking had always been Wanda's thing. You were always her little lab rat or dish cleaner, never an assistant. Even if you were a mess in the kitchen, you were proud of yourself for making your fancy hot chocolate without much help.

Wanda giggled as she took a sip from her mug. "I told you to use the other side of the grater." Being famous came with its perks, but nothing would ever top having you all to herself. To Wanda, you were perfect. All your odd preferences and little quirks only added to said perfection. "Y'know, I think I might have my own little Rudolph just like Santa does."

You turned your head around so fast, you got whipped cream on your nose. "Really? Wait, did you buy the reindeer antler for Sparky!?"

Wanda laughed and shook her head. "No, I just meant you." She playfully licked the cream off your nose. "Every time I give you a compliment, you hop around repeating it for days." She placed her mug on the nightstand. "I'm cute! I'm cute! She thinks I'm cute," Wanda said, recreating the scene that had played just a few minutes ago.

You huffed your chest out in defense. "I don't sound like that! If anyone does, it's you…or maybe Bucky, he's been a real simp these past few weeks."

"Oh no, don't bring your little friends into this! You wrote an entire EP after I started publicly calling you my partner, lord knows what you'll do when we get married." Wanda turned away to take another sip of her hot chocolate. When she turned back, she was met with the cutest puppy dog eyes she'd ever seen.

"You wanna marry me?"

Wanda could only laugh. "Of course, I wanna marry you! You're too perfect to slip through my fingers." She cupped your face and kissed you on the lips. "Also, this totally proves my point."

[awakeshedreams]

sugar and spice ( 1 )

pairing : resident bad boy!jjk x model student!reader

setting : highschool!au x stepbrother!au

summary :

a messy highschool!au x stepbrother!au where model student reader who has quite a few dirty little secrets sees her world take an unexpected turn when her mother comes home one day with an engagement announcement, to the father of none other than the school's resident bad boy.... Jeon Jungkook.

genre : smut, for laughs, kinda pornish, slow burn with collosaly overwhelming sexual tension

rating: soft m ( for now ) due to adult content

warnings : unconventional relationship of sexual nature, tropes and clichès, teenagers partaking in porn-esque activities, made up things with made up people happening in a made up world, don't like don't read XD

wordcount : 2.3K

a/n : i've been fighting in a long standing war and I have lost. the man known as jeon jungkook had his foot on my neck for years and today, I have finally submitted to my fate and surrendered to his reign.

yes. after a hundred years, i'm writing again. specifically, writing for bts. particularly, writing for jungkook. its been a long time coming.

life just took over and I transitioned into an adult and kind of grew out of the state of mind I was in before. but. sigh. jeon jungkook has been tormenting me the whole time. it was only a matter of time before i relapsed honestly.

so here I am again. in mind, body and spirit, a different person from who I was before but still the same in the sense that with the way bts have my whole heart, jk will always be the demon in the corner of my room that I invite to bed for a cuddle even though it's (probably really) not good for me.

do not misconstrue. I love him more than I can say. but. sigh. he has me in a chokehold, loves. please try to understand where I'm coming from.

anyways, enough with this ranting. you all came here for the nitty gritty so let me not hold you hostage with my dilemma rambling any longer. here's to the first bts fic i've posted in literal years. introducing- sugar and spice.

1 2

Unless they told someone, no one would have been able to guess it.

At school they were complete strangers.

She was the nice head girl with a clean record, all smiles and straight A’s. He was the mysterious bad boy with a track record, all tatted up with bruised knuckles.

She wore plaid skirts with neat pleads in them and pastel sweaters with bows at the collar. He wore jeans with rips in them and leather jackets with studs.

They couldn't have been any more different.

As far as anyone was concerned, they existed on two extreme ends of a vast spectrum.

What they didn't know was that they shared a dirty little secret.

.

You were a girl with many dirty secrets.

For instance, you used to sell nudes online. It was a side hustle you did.

Not because you needed money.

Your mom was a renowned doctor so there was more than enough of that in your life.

Not because you needed validation from people online either.

Even without the constant compliments and the praises you knew you were visually blessed with a pretty face and a nice body too.

All things considered, you simply thought you had a nice pair of tits and you took pictures of them sometimes.

Posting the shots you snapped online came much later when you heard about this website where people were getting paid crazy money for posting racy things.

‘It’s just so degrading…’ It was one of your friends, June, who sneered, pretty nose scrunched up. She fixed her long ponytail and rolled her brown eyes while looking in the mirror at her locker. ‘Who would do such a thing, am I right?’

She said this, but June was the girl who has slept with more boys than she could count on her two hands. And those were the ones she told you about.

Like every other time, you said nothing. Even when it carried on to lunch with the rest.

‘Pretty desperate if you ask me.’ Mei the stellar track runner shrugged casually as she stretched her limbs like routine.

‘Where are their parents?’ Nina the library nerd shook her head in disapproval as she fixed her glasses so it sat right on the bridge of her nose.

‘Um… I don’t think it’s … appropriate… to talk about ….’ Kiko the one who always carried a cross and bible around mumbled into her sleeve.

All your friends spoke of it in derision and repulsion of course. This was a school for proper children so they were proper girls. At least they were supposed to be.

Regardless the conversation sparked a curiosity in you.

So you made an account and uploaded your first picture. Nothing bizarre. Just your tits in a pretty lace bra.

You made sure to keep your face out of the frame because that was the smart thing to do and you were nothing if not the smartest student in school.

In all honesty, you weren’t expecting anything out of it. In fact, in between work with student council and tutoring your juniors with finals right around the corner, you even forgot about it for an entire month.

It was by a complete whim that you decided to open the app while you’d been unwinding at your desk following a tedious day at school.

To say you were amused by the response you found waiting for you would have be a grave understatement.

You were staring at the four figure digit that now sat in your bank account.

Reading through the comment section was even more interesting.

There were all sorts of people there who had all sorts of things to say. Ranging from honestly sweet to downright dirty.

You had never been brought to tears laughing in her life before until then.

It was just so funny to see people misbehave and lose their minds over a pair of tits.

From then on it just sort of became a thing.

.

But that wasn't the worse of your secrets.

You were making a name for yourself on the crude web months later.

The next step was naturally to move from making taking pictures to making videos. Since you was already in too deep you didn’t see why not.

So you upgraded and opened another account. An amateur one where your touched yourself for an audience.

You were no prude.

You might have never been touched by a boy before but you had touched yourself plenty times. Stress and frustration came hand in hand with being head girl. Since you couldn’t quite vent it out at the annoying troublemakers at school, this was your second best option.

Third was watching porn, but that was mostly when you were extremely bored.

But that wasn’t where that little endeavor ended.

Later on it became a lot more risqué.

.

It all started when your mom hit you with a marriage announcement.

She met a guy on her business trip who she really liked and she was convinced he was the one.

Your mom had a tragic history of being a bad judge of character.

You’ve had this conversation at least five times since you became old enough to understand that boys and girls who were just friends didn’t kiss and sleep with each other.

Most times, it felt like she was doing it because she thought you needed a dad around.

You might have once, when you were younger and your mom was too busy with work to be there. But she worked from home these days and you were soo busy with school to worry about things like that.

This time it was like she was doing it for her. You were glad.

Your mom looked genuinely happy when she spoke about this guy.

Who were you to get in the way?

.

She spent almost the whole weekend in the kitchen. It was the longest you’ve seen her in there in your entire life.

She was excited for the dinner on Sunday.

Mr Jeon was the name of the chosen man.

He was coming over with his kid. A son, his only family. His wife passed away years ago.

You wore the dress your mom picked out for you, something cream in color and off the shoulders that brushed your knees. She looked pretty in her champagne dress. It was different from the office slacks and loose blouses you were used to seeing her in.

You stood by her at the door while the guests came through.

Lifting your head from a polite bow, you found herself staring straight into an achingly familiar pair of glinting dark eyes and went completely still.

‘Sweetie,' Your mother said sounding delighted, a soft hand on your stiff shoulder. 'This is Mr Jeon and his son Jungkook.’

Ah. Fuck.

‘Jeon dear, this is my daughter. Isn’t she lovely?’

.

Dinner was a mild affair, with small talk and the occasional clinking of cutlery on fine china.

From the outside looking in, you probably looked the picture perfect family already.

Only if no-one looked close enough.

Arms crossed, tongue in cheek. Your discomfort could be detected from miles away.

The two adults were oblivious.

The dark eyed boy with the slightest wave to his nape touching, brow grazing, ear covering onyx hair sat across you though; he took note of this with a passing glance and wordlessly returned to his food.

Jeon Jungkook had a countenance that betrayed his reputation.

Even though you’ve never talked, you knew plenty about him and you were sure he knew a lot about you too.

You went to the same school.

Dressed as he was in a crisp white dress shirt buttoned at the wrist and dark tailored pants with a fine belt on, it might have been hard to tell what kind of person he really was.

You lifted her gaze from your plate to look study him wordlessly, idly twisting the noodles with your fork.

People either called him the black sheep or the dark cloud but for you, Jeon Jungkook was the school’s resident lone wolf.

He smoked in the secluded areas on campus, sometimes playing his guitar. Beat up people who got on his nerves, sometimes using his guitar. Slept in class the rare times he was there, many times on his guitar.

Being his senior, you had never seen any of any of that for yourself. But you received plenty reports weekly to come to a sound conclusion.

There was no way people hated him enough to join hands in solidarity and make this all up.

It was quite the contrary actually. He had an alarming number of fans.

On the surface level you couldn’t see why. Most times you saw him, he looked bored out his mind and honestly, intimidating.

Maybe it was the tattoos. Or the ripped skinny jeans. Or the leather jackets with studs.

Maybe it was the domineering height and fit frame and structured face.

Maybe it was the intense dark eyes or the silky ruffled hair.

Even then, you failed to see the irresistible appeal in him. All those things that made him up only added to his unapproachable aura.

Bottom line was, he was bad news.

.

You didn’t want to be a spoil sport.

But how much of a thug your mom’s boyfriend’s son was shouldn’t be something that would make her like him less.

They were both their own people. Right ?

It was just that you just didn’t want her to be shocked and devastated if something happened later. When it happened.

Yet it seemed the serious conversation would have to wait.

After dinner your mom suggested you head to the living room to chat over wine and cheese.

You stayed back to do take out the dishes.

Earlier, your mom had stood to do it instead at first.

‘Don’t bother with that, dear.’ She reached for the plates in your hands. ‘Let me do it.’

‘It’s okay, mom.’ You smiled a little. ‘This is your night. I’ll meet you in the living room.’

'Sweetie...' Your mom looked close to tears. ‘But there’s so much of it…’

‘Jungkook,’ his father's voice had cut through the moment. He was a serious man in a crisp suit with a stoic countenance. His voice was just naturally authoritarian without him trying ‘Give her a hand.’

Jungkook stood, almost robotically.

‘It’s fine.’ You said. Politely. Nicely. Tightly. ‘I can handle this much.’

You left without another word.

That had been moments ago and now you were done with cleaning.

You stood at living room entrance for a while, taking in the scene.

The two adults were exchanging moon eyes and whispering in each other’s ears at the love seat.

Jungkook was sitting on a solo seat, but he was on his phone, completely unbothered by what was happening.

Your mom seemed to think it was the perfect time to pull out the photo album right then and there upon seeing you.

It was embarrassing but at least you knew you didn’t have to worry about the pictures spreading at school.

Jungkook was looking, picking up a picture occasionally to rove over, but he wasn’t the type to do that.

He also wasn’t the type to stare but you felt his glance shifting to you and lingering multiple times.

Once, you caught his eyes and he just stared at you across the coffee table wordlessly with a curious tilt to his head, idly flipping a picture of you dressed as a knight in glitter shining armor for Halloween at eight in his hands.

Honestly, it was starting to get annoying.

But you endured. For your mom’s sake.

.

Your alarm went off at exactly ten.

As subtly as you could, you excused yourself with an apology to the guests, saying you weren't really feeling well.

In hindsight you probably should have used a better excuse.

Your mom was notorious when it came to worrying, especially when it comes to your health.

Also, you probably should’ve locked the door before undressing just for good measure since people were over.

But in the moment, you were too busy setting your camera up where you were kneeling on the floor at the foot of the bed to be concerned about that.

That day you were testing out a new toy.

.

Distractedly, you took note of a couple of people asking you if that was your boyfriend’s shirt you had lifted over your tits.

You ignored them.

Couldn’t a girl own an oversized tee without getting any flack?

Trivial comments like that aside, a good majority of the audience are fawning over how wet you were and how perfect you bouncing tits look being played with.

Your head fell back and your eyes fluttered shut.

You were sitting there, knees raised to your chest and legs splayed, your gushing pussy in full display where the toy was stuffed deep into her tightness, vibrating pleasantly.

‘I’m close…’ you mumbled throatily, squeezing your tits and pinching your stiff nipples in between your moving fingers. You moved your hips move faster, feeling the toy buzz against fluttering walls. You took a hand off one of your tits to rub at your engorged clit. ‘Fuckfuckfuck…’

Deep in your high, you didn’t hear the door open and close with a foreboding click.

You only heard your name being called by a deep, smooth voice through the heady haze.

Instantly you stilled.

When you snapped your head to look over her shoulder Jungkook was there, hands in his pockets, leaning against your doorframe with his sleeves drawn up to his elbows, muscle roped, inked skin on full display.

When he tilted his head to the side a little, appraisively, you dared to say as a quaking chill ran down your spine and your entire body felt like it was about to burst into flames, a bit of his hair fell over his face.

His eyes were like two black in the dark as he took you in, dragging his gaze up and down your exposed body languidly.

In the back of your mind, you wished the ground would part and swallow you whole.

‘Your mom,' he starts, capturing your attention wholly, dark gaze finally flickering to your face, his voice suddenly lower, hoarser. ‘She sent me over to check on you.’

It took you a moment to realize where you were, who you were, who he was.

It was like a bucket of cold water had been dropped over your head.

Jeon Jungkook, the school's resident trouble maker, soon to be your step brother, just walked in on you fingering yourself in in front of a recording camera.

Well. Yeah.

You gulped.

You were royally fucked.

depending on the response I get I might ( most probably will ) delete this. not because I'm ashamed of my work. because I'm embarrassed of myself. I really swore to never write again and here I am. sigh. yes, I have seen my previous works and noticed just how terrible they were and this is a big reason why. so sorry for putting you through that. a million apologies.

also, that's right. I have adopted a new style which might not be to everyone's liking. another reason why.

anyways, if you liked this filth ( i know it seems mild but I can tell you it's very likely gonna get worse ) please idk uh... fuck this isn't ao3. hm.

like and drop by in the ask box if you liked it and want to see more. it makes me happy. its like serotonin fuel to me.

have a nice day. see you next time ( maybe ). stay fresh. yeah. 💜💜.

[themanip]

late nights

SUMMARY — you and bang chan are both equally as stressed out. your solution?  sleep with each other. boom, problem solved.

PAIRING — bang chan  x  reader  WARNINGS — mentions of stress and mental health problems, unprotected sex, soft!dom chan, mentions of kinks, really soft, really cute smut basically, crying (not sexually), sad thoughts, angry and frustrated emotions, angsty GENRE — heavy angst, fwb, coming-of-age kind of, smut, romance, porn with a hint of plot WORD COUNT — 4.9k, i got carried away my bad

“How do you deal with stress?”

Chan’s question wasn’t ill intentioned by any means, and as you both sat in his studio, you pondered on whether or not to actually answer truthfully. “I mean, you’re the leader of two more trainees than I was, and navigating as a girlgroup is much more difficult than boygroups,”

“Do you want the honest answer, or the more appropriate answer?” you crossed your legs, Chan’s couch feeling quite comfortable. He stared down at you for a moment, the height of his chair offering him that leverage.

The room was quiet, the lights were dim, and the entire environment was soothing. “Well, honest, of course. No point in me asking if it’s a fib, no?”

You nodded, blowing a puff of air out of your nose thoughtfully. “Truthfully, I use sex. It allows me to physically and mentally drain myself, and I sleep really well after getting fucked. It allows me to refresh the next morning, and my stress, at least physically, is diminished.”

You didn’t look at him until you finished talking, and his face was blank. Once you two locked eyes, he sputtered out, “Oh, I—”

“This is why I offered two options, Chan,” you laughed, and at the lighten of atmosphere he giggled a bit too. “I didn’t mean to, y’know,” he stopped, and you nodded lightly. “I get it, but as of now I don’t do it much anymore. I usually just let out my anger or stress during dance routines or working out but it doesn’t work the same, and sometimes I deliver moves too harshly while dancing.”

“Why not?”

You were unsure what he was referring to, and you crinkled your eyebrows. “How come you don’t do it anymore if nothing else helps the same way?” he asked softly, his eyes swimming with genuine concern. 

“I’m a lot more conservative with my body, I just have to trust someone. It’s hard to get to know a guy without them immediately wanting to jump into a relationship. You can’t really do that in what we do, and the second I start to trust a guy things go haywire. I just really have to have a good friendship to have sex, I guess.”

The entirety of the conversation, Chan’s cheeks were turning peach. Even in the dark, dim light, you could see it. “I understand, it’s a very tangible thing. Just giving yourself to someone like that without a basic relationship, platonic or not, is important depending on how you view relationships,”

You nodded in response, and a silence fell over you two. There wasn’t much to be said, but for some reason you decided to blurt out. “If you don’t know how to deplete stress, I suggest it. Just the no strings attached part, because otherwise things get messy and stress becomes inevitable. Just try it sometime, Chan. If you don’t like it, then consider it a learning experience,” you shrugged, and Chan pursed his lips.

“I mean it doesn’t sound like a bad idea, per se. I just don’t know how I’ll casually ask someone to have sex. Most women just run off the moment I mention it, and who knows if they’re even into the same things I am? There’s just so many things to be unsure of.” His chin was now laying on his thumb, and his pointer finger was laying above his top lip. He was deep in thought. 

You stood up, which cause Chan to unexpectedly flinch, and he watched you with careful eyes. “Chris, if you ever feel like you need a de-stresser, you know where to find me. Nothing will be weird unless you make it weird. Or we can always just talk, either way, I’m here. I have to go before Sumna comes and drags me out of here, but seriously. Whatever you need, no strings attached. Nothing leaves this room,” you mentioned softly, and his eyes widened at his English name. It’s rather rare you used it, so he pondered the specific use of it in this scenario.

“Thank you,” he muttered simply, and he watched you as you walked out. Was she being serious?

Chan and you had not talked in a few days. Whether it was a crazy schedule, you embarassing yourself, or him not knowing how to approach the situation, you didn’t know. All you did know was that you missed your friend. 

You and your bandmates had a hectic schedule today, and as the leader, you’d had to sit in on a meeting with your manager and JYP’s public relations manager. Apparently, Dispatch had caught one of your members, Lanzi, out doing something with another k-pop idol. Dispatch had only obtained two pictures of it, but it was clearly legible on who they were, and what they were doing.

The cost to get those pictures thrown out was much more than JYP would have liked, so she had to sit and get chewed out. Instead of being angry at Lanzi, she became more angry at herself. She had talked to them about things of this sort, but clearly not well enough. It was her job as leader, and she failed doing so. 

After a three hour long meeting, you were absolutely exhausted, mentally at least. And now, just after that, was choreography practice. You’d just learned the choreo a few days before, so for the most part you had it down. As lead dancer, you also had to make sure everyone else in your group understood that too. 

So, thirty minutes into practice, when none of your members seemed to be latching on, you sighed. Your entire job was to simply lead, and do well. Somehow, you couldn’t manage to do that. Once more, you started the choreography, and told your girls to simply stand back and watch.

You had a slight tone, but you needed them to understand that rhythm is just as important as the real dance moves. Your entire body was covered in sweat, and you were growing more frustrated by the minute. 

The way your body moved was no longer elegant, just harsh, angry strokes of somewhat rhythmic actions. You did your best to do it just as you were shown, but the overwhelming anger and emotion in your body was just more than you could handle. 

Little did you know, next to your bandmates, stood Hyunjin and Chan. They had come to ask something, but instead found you dancing your angered heart out. All stopped and stared, and Chan could only focus on the way your hips contorted, the patterns your hips followed.

As the music stopped, you turned around, and your eyes widened at the visitors. 

“We can leave if you’re busy, Hyunjin-ah just wanted to ask if he could borrow the studio tomorrow, and I wanted a word with you, if that’s okay,” Chan asked, and all of your bandmates went silent, expecting you to take the lead of the conversation.

“Hyunjin-sunbaenim, the studio is yours whenever you need it. Let me know what time, and Chan-oppa, would you like to talk now?”

Hyunjin bowed, and gave a quick thank you before heading out of the room. “Yes, please. If you’re too busy, no worries,” and you looked at your girls and told them to head back to the dorm. You were done for today, no reason to beat a dead horse when clearly today was not a good one to get skills in. 

“Can we talk in my studio?” Chan came closer to you, almost a whisper, and you knew this was going to go one of two ways: he was going to fuck your brains out, or he was going to let you know that he did not think of you in that way, and to please never discuss things like that with him again. You don’t think you could handle either, at least not today. 

“Yeah, let me grab some other clothes,” you said softly, rubbing your forehead in anxiety. Chan quickly started to mention something, and you shut him up quick. “I don’t—”

“Chan, I’m getting new clothes because I am sweaty and tired, nothing else. I will meet you in your studio after I am changed,” you sighed, your hot knees feeling good against the cool floor of the choreography studio. Your duffle bag now wide open, you grabbed an oversized long sleeve shirt and a pair of loose jeans. 

You also reapplied deodorant and some perfume so you didn’t smell like you lived in a sewer, the amount

As your girls were long gone, you felt free to change in the studio. Your clothes quickly fell to the floor, and you were now in more comfortable apparel that is not drenched in sweat. Dreading this conversation with Chan, you swiftly collected your things and moved them to the corner to come collect after you spoke to Chan and was ready to go home. 

Guiding your way to Chan’s studio was a walk in the park. The amount of times you’d go in there to talk to him, or for him to let you hear what he’d been working on, was countless. You two had budded a beautiful friendship, and he had been somewhat of a rock. He had always been so sweet, so loving. And you’ve possibly ruined it because you couldn’t think of anything other than sex when trying to guide him through dealing with stress.

Your eyes almost welled at the thought. You couldn’t cry though, not now. So, as you stood outside of Chan’s recording studio, you held your breath for a moment and looked up, letting the tears vanish.

A soft knock sounded, your knuckles rasping at the door. The hallways were silent, and you couldn’t hear a single thing from inside Chan’s studio. Your own heartbeat pounded in your ears, and you tensed as you heard footsteps leading up to his door.

He opened the door, his face showing no clear emotions. He didn’t seem angry, but he wasn’t too happy to see you, either. His hair was clearly ran through by his hand, blonde tufts falling back towards his ears. His makeup was done to perfection, light brown tones covering his lids. 

He wore a simple outfit, a loose black hoodie and dark blue sweatpants. He’d changed from earlier, his black ripped jeans now nowhere to be seen. “Come in, you can sit anywhere,” his voice was always soft, even though he could be fuming, his tone would never soar. 

“Chan, I just want to say I’m sorry,” you muffled out, plopping down unconventionally on his couch. “I just, I don’t know why I said those things or did that,” at this point, you just didn’t want him to think differently of you. He was the closest thing you had to a mentor, and he was an amazing friend. 

If you lost him, or ruined your relationship, you don’t think you could ever forgive yourself. 

You pulled your knees up to your chest as he took a seat in his chair, staring expectedly at you. Silence followed, so you continued, unsure of what he was expecting to hear. “I just don’t like you being stressed, and the only way I know how to cope with things is kind of like that, so I figured maybe you could too, and then I offered, and I feel like I just fucked things up between us. I.. just I’m so sorry.”

At this point your eyes had clouded up, and your voice had cracked multiple times. The day you’d had just piled up, and your exhaustion was visible. Chan’s eyes immediately softened, and he felt bad. He wasn’t mad, he just didn’t know how to approach the situation. 

“Hey, hey,” he soothed, and he stood up from his chair and joined you on the couch. At this point, you’d started full on crying. “I ruined our friendship, and now I’m sitting here crying so you’re gonna feel too bad to be honest with me about what I did wrong,” you were now sniffling hard, and your chest was dense you were surprised you could breathe. 

“No, love, that’s not it, I promise,” your heart pumped blood a bit harder at his nickname for you, and he placed a warm hand on your back. “I came here to ask if you were okay,” his tone was now nothing but soft and supportive, and he continuously rubbed your back. Warmth spread throughout your entire body. 

“I heard about the meeting, and everyone kept discussing how stressed out you were today,” in the dim light once more, his eyes glowed. They were so soft, so sweet. His entire aura was just warm, loving, and nothing was more assuring. 

“No matter what happens between us, you’re my friend, and I care about you,” he smiled softly, “Nothing would change that, unless you like, stabbed me or something,” he laughed soulfully, and you laughed with him. He pulled you closer to him, your head now leaning on his shoulder.

“Thank you, Chan. I just didn’t know what to do, and today has been really shitty,” you smiled, and let your head fall even closer to his chest. His thumbs ran circles around your back, and he held you close. “It’s okay, I understand. Trust me,” a warm silence encased the entire room, and as Chan now cuddled you warmly, your face was now red at the reality of the situation.

“Do you feel a bit better?”

“Yeah, I just needed someone to remind me of how things are and to keep me grounded,” you sighed, and Chan’s thumb was now no longer rubbing your back. His hand had stilled, and all you could hear was the heartbeat from inside Chan’s chest. He was so broad, and the expanse of his torso provided a very comfortable pillow.

“I wasn’t offended, or taken back or anything when you offered, you know that, right?” Chan spoke out of nowhere, the rumbling of his chest vibrating intensely. “I wouldn’t have known, I tried my best to ignore you in case you never wanted to speak to me again,”

A small laugh came out of Chan, and his chest pushed your head a bit. “No, in fact, I think I’ve thought about it a little too much.”

You pushed your head off of him at this point, and resuming your position before he sat on the couch. You pulled your knees back up to your chest, and looked at him. “Really?”

“You said you wanted to have sex with someone you trust, and I feel the same way. It’s really hard to come by good people with good intentions, and you also happen to be beyond gorgeous. Why would I not want to?”

With cheeks now flushed red, you giggled. School-girl giggled, specifically. You had no idea how to take this compliment, but then the realization hit you. Christopher Bang just said he wants to fuck you.

His face also turned a deep scarlet, and he looked down, waiting for a reaction. “Mr. Bang, the things you say. So scandalous,” you both laughed lightly, and you hummed in response to the silence. “If we decide to ever do something, it’s important we talk about it first,” you mentioned, and now the conversation went from light-hearted to a bit more serious.

 “Of course, but in what way?”

“I don’t know, what kinds of things do you like? I can’t promise I can pertain to everything, but there’s no harm in trying. Especially if it happens more than once,” you clutched your legs, and Chan leaned forward a bit, his elbows on his knees as he stared ahead.

“Uh, well,” he laughed, and covered his hands with his face. This was the Chan you liked, who could make any situation, no matter how dark, seem light and easy-going. “It’s not really,” he started, beginning to look at you, then stopping himself, “I don’t know. I never usually talk about it like this,”

“Well, how about this: I tell you what I like, and you tell me what you’re willing to do. Just because I like it does not mean you have to do it, but if you enjoy it too, its mutual pleasure, yeah?”

Chan simply nodded, now mesmerized by you. His face completely tracked yours, and you sighed. “I have always loved your hands. I really, really like if you’d put them around my neck, if you would ever feel so kind. I really love being praised, I love being called a good girl, things like that. My favorite foreplay is just making out, I’m just a big softie, but I can take rough if that’s what you like. I’m a big pleaser, and I want to make sure you’re taken care of and get some pleasure out of this,”

Chan nodded once more, and his fingers instinctively wrapped themselves around his rings, twisting and turning. “Your turn, Channie,” you smirked, and he leaned back, a smile crowning his face. 

“Well, I really like being soft and intimate, I like any position, bonus points if I see your face,” he smiled, his cheeks burning scarlet. He clearly did not talk about these things often, moreso just played them out in the midst of a high and never spoke of it again. But he and you both knew how important communication was, so he continued.

“I have played around with being called Daddy, but I’m not sure, and if you’re not comfortable with it—”

“If I am that uncomfortable with something, I promise I’ll tell you. Besides, that’s really cute. Rolls right off the tongue, right Daddy?”

He visibily shivered, and you smiled. “I—uh, I like if you’d run your fingers through my hair, not too hard, but like soothingly, kind of? If that makes sense. I also like it if you’d verbalise when you’re, uh—”

You knew where he was going, so you leaned close to his ear and finished his sentence for him. “Gonna cum? Oh, it would be rude not to,” you laughed gently, and you saw the last of Chan’s patience snap like a rubber band. 

His hands grabbed your face sternly, yet somehow gently. “Do you want this?” he asked, the lust obvious on his face. Despite any previous conversation, he needed verbal consent to continue, and it would make him feel most okay with doing this. 

“Yes,”

The room was now silent, anticipation filling your entire body. You’d come in here crying, and you couldn’t help but hope you’d leave the same way; just a different type of crying. 

He pushed you so your back was now flush against the couch, the headrest leaning your upper torso closer to him. “Tell me to stop, and I promise I will, alright? The second you tell me to,” he was now looking you dead in the eyes, above you. Your legs were spread open, and his entire body was in the valley of your abdomen. Both of his arms were on either side of you, perching himself up. 

“Chris, just kiss me already,” you whined, and he laughed wholeheartedly, before dipping in. The first kiss was hesitant, exploring new territory. His lips tasted like vanilla chapstick, and the first few were light pecks. It took only a second before he took the initiative and added his tongue to the mixture. 

You rarely ever used tongue, most of your hookups barely even kissed, which is why none of them compared. Kissing was your weak point, it was a vulnerability. And Chan did not abuse that power once.

“Is this okay?” he mumbled against your mouth, your exchanging saliva now making more than your mouth lubricated. “Fuck, yes,” you moaned out, the amount of times he would kiss you now making you weak.

His hands dragged softly, and held themselves at your jaw, a classic sweetheart. His thumb was against your cheek so softly, the pads gracefully rubbing across the expanse of your cheekbone.

Everything about this was so domestic, so warm. His kisses were so soft, and full of love. There was no rush, no push to go any farther had you or him decided not to. His warm hands on your face made you purr on the inside, and when he pulled away, he had looked more beautiful than ever. 

You had no intention of mentioning the wetness that had gathered between your legs, until Chan was staring at you, and momentarily his eyes widened. “Shit,” he cursed, looking around rapidly. “We don’t have a condom. I’m clean and everything, but we don’t have to continue if you don’t feel comfortable,”

“I have an implant, and I’m clean too. I just want you, if you want me too.”

Chan had no other qualms about it, and he attacked your face in sloppy kisses. “Here, can we switch positions, my arm is hurting?” he asked awkwardly, and you laughed with your entire chest. It was a normal question, but the way he asked so ashamedly, as if it was something terrible. 

“Sit up straight, let me get on your lap,” you said softly, and he did as he was told. It was only then that you saw the bulge in his sweatpants, and you forgot that he actually had a male appendage, and from the looks of it, he was either girthy or long. Or both. 

As long as he knew how to use it, you’d be fine. 

He grabbed you by your hand to help maneuver you, and now your entire weight was on top of Chan. As you finally sat your hips down, he groaned. “Oh god,”

You took his face in your hands, and started kissing him again. At this point, you didn’t want him to be respectful anymore. His hands did not waver from your face, and so you took it into your own hands. Grabbing them both, so soft and calloused, and placed them as discreetly as you could, onto your hips. Moreso your ass, but Chan didn’t know your intentions. 

His hands pushed your hips forward, now rutting against his hard on. His lips and yours were now in a frenzy, drenching each other. It was still pretty slow, nothing fast paced, just more intense.

He broke the kiss, and his hands now edged at the bottom of your shirt. “Can I take this off?” he asked, breathless. His lips were now swollen and puffy, and his pupils were blown wide. 

You nodded softly, no words needed to be said. He quickly hauled the oversize shirt above your head, and groaned harshly when he realized you had no bra on. His first instinct was to latch his mouth onto your nipples, sucking softly. A moan left your mouth, and with nothing to hold onto anymore, your hands found his hair. 

Still rocking back and forth, your panties were probably soaked at that point. So much foreplay had you almost throbbing, and you couldn’t wait much longer to have him inside you. 

“Chan, please,” you moaned out, and he bit down on your nipple gently. “Only since you asked so nicely,” he added, and he told you to stand up. You did so, easily willingly, yet you loved the way he spoke to you.

It was almost a request, a plea. There was no power imbalance here, simply one trying to find another. He was so gentle, in everything he did. You wanted to drown in that feeling. 

He pulled your jeans off without a hitch, and eyed your lace panties hungrily, slightly thankful you’d changed earlier this evening. His fingers grasped the sides, pulling them down your legs. You were now completely bare, and he was fully dressed. This was a problem. 

“Not fair, your turn,” you pouted, and his eyes were fixated on your naked body. It felt odd, having him see you like this, but you couldn’t complain. Your arousal was now tainting your inner thighs, and Chan could probably see it too. 

He rid himself of his hoodie and his shirt at the same time, and you finally got a full view of him shirtless. This man was absolutely ripped, and you had to hold in a gasp. His arms were lined in protruding veins, and his abs were impeccable. You worked out, but not in your wildest dreams would you ever be able to maintain that nice of a physique. 

It wasn’t until he pulled off his pants, and painstakingly after, he patiently pulled his boxers off. God, did he have a pretty cock. A bit longer than average, slightly girthy, and it made your mouth water just thinking about it. 

Your first instinct was to pop down onto your knees, but as you were on your way down, Chan grabbed you by the arm. “Not this time, please, I need you,” he whined out, almost painfully. 

As you were on top of his lap, you were careful not to let him inside you yet. You figured he could decide when to do it, and you squealed when he let one hand slide from your face, down to your throat. His fingers, covered in rings, squeezed gently. He coaxed another moan from you as he let his fingers glide down the valley of your body, and found itself on your clit.

His movements were slow, but intense. His fingers glided over your folds, picking up some of your arousal, and placed all of his attention onto your little nub. Small pinprick moans escaped your mouth, and you began to tilt your hips in an attempt to get more friction. “Fuck, you’re so wet,”

Some noise semblant to a mew tried to leave your mouth, but his fingers tangled themselves around your neck further, leaving the sound trapped in your throat. “Are you ready? Or do we need to get you a bit more warmed up?” he asked softly, his mouth now next to you ear. His voice was dark, and husky.

“God, I just need you inside me,” you whined, and his hand let up on your neck, and he grabbed his cock harshly. He pumped it a few times, and spread your lips, and lined you up.

“Beg,” he said simply, and even if you tried to sink down, he now placed a hand on top of your hips harshly. You couldn’t move even if you wanted to. “W—what?” you asked, breathless. 

“Beg, I want to hear you beg for me to fuck you,” he repeated himself, and looked down at you mischeviously. You two were face to face, and his cock was still in his hands, and your lips spread wide open for him to see. “Fuck, please,” you whined, and to no avail, he didn’t budge, “please, daddy, I just wanna feel good,”

As soon as the name sounded from your mouth, he pushed inside of you. The stretch was amazing, it was slightly painful, but it felt like nothing on this earth could amount. His entire cock filled you out nicely, and the lewd sound of him smacking against you was filling the room.

His hands laid at your hips now, piling into you like his life depended on it. His balls were smacking against your ass, and the harsh thrusts stimulated your clit. Everything was so intense, the way he filled you so deeply, you could feel him in places you didn’t know he could reach, and you felt like you’d burst apart the seams. 

Shameless moans spilled from your mouth, and Chan was in your ear, grunting like a man starved. “Such a good girl, fuck, for me,” his groans were so animalistic, and the way his hands would hold you steady.

His fingers traveled down to toy with your clit, and he never stopped fucking you. Your fingers started to tangle within his hair, and his lips attached themselves to your neck, sucking, finding anything to latch onto. 

The second his fingers started rubbing your clit numbly, you knew that you were going to cum soon. Everything he did just felt so good, you were just a hole the second he started fucking you.

“I—I’m gonna, I’m gonna cum,” you breathed out heavily, and your legs started shaking. “Please, can I—please cum?”

“Yes, cum for me,” he breathed out in a husky tone, and it wasn’t long until you felt your thighs start to involuntarily shake, and the feeling inside your abdomen welling up. “I’m so—” you were cut off by your orgasm rushing over you, Chan’s fingers never stopped stimulating your clit.

You moaned out harshly, slumping towards him, unable to control yourself as one of the most harsh orgasms you’ve ever had washed over you. Your entire body started to seize, and you clenched around him harshly. He continued to fuck into you, sucking into your neck, and he starting fucking into you faster. He was definitely close, “Where-”

You cut him off, still under the shock of your orgasm, “inside me, please,” you begged, and he fucked into you once more, even harder. “Fuck, I’m gonna cum,”

He lived up to his promise, as less than a few seconds later, his warm cum spurted inside of you, and he still rutted his hips, begging for more friction. He stroked into you a few more times, now drained of energy. He placed a soft kiss onto your neck, and whispered, “Thank you.”

You got up, and put your shirt back on over yourself, and Chan pulled his boxers and sweatpants on once more. A thought rose over you on whether to leave or not, but you knew Chan would be a skinship type of guy. He would probably have a drop, and not be used to just casual hookups like this.

“Do you want me to stay?” you asked softly, and a large part of you hoped he would say yes.

“Please.”

[deanstead]

Toxic

Pairing: Will Halstead x HalsteadSister!Reader x Jay Halstead

Requested by anon: hi! can i request a halsteads x sister reader fic, she’s dating someone toxic and jay and will can see that but she won’t let them help her out and keeps dismissing their concerns, until one day she turns up at jays door sobbing and he calls will and it’s all fluff after that? i hope that makes sense, i love your writing 💓

Warnings: mention of toxic relationship, angst, fluff

A/N: Thanks for the request, hope you like what I did with this!! Always glad to hear from all of you, so please hit up my ask/replies to tell me what you think! Requests and taglists remain open, you can send me an ask anytime! Hope you guys like this!

---

“Y/N, listen…” Will spoke, causing you to turn to look at him.

You sighed. “Guys, you’re overreacting.”

Will threw a glance at Jay, which you caught. “Y/N, we’re concerned.” Jay stressed.

You shook your head, smiling. “I’m fine.”

“You’ve stopped seeing your friends, haven’t you?” Will asked, a little accusingly. You swallowed, “I’ve been busy.”

“You mean Mark’s been keeping you busy.” Will shot back.

You didn’t answer him. Maybe there was a part of you that knew that your brothers were right, but you loved Mark and you didn’t see why it was wrong that the two of you just wanted to spend time with just each other.

“I’m here, aren’t I?” You snapped.

Jay rolled his eyes. “Only because Mark probably knows we’d have more than a thing or two to say otherwise.” He muttered to Will.

“I heard that.” You glared at Jay.

Jay sighed, “Look, can you just hear me… hear us out?”

You hesitated, you knew what they were going to say and you weren’t exactly sure you wanted to hear it. You crossed your arms in front of you. “Hit me.”

“You’ve stopped meeting your friends, you go with his moods and decisions almost all the time, we’ve barely seen you and that’s saying something.” Jay said, glancing at you, trying to read your reaction. “You’re not supposed to be tiptoeing around him all the time.”

Will sighed, “You’ve always been strong and independent, how is it that you’re letting him make all these decisions for you now?”

You sighed. “I appreciate you guys looking out for me, but I’m an adult, I know what I’m doing.”

Will looked like he was about to argue but Jay tugged his arm and shook his head. “Just promise me one thing.”

You looked up.

“Don’t shut us out.” Jay said, a look of genuine concern passing his face.

You smiled. “I would never.”

---

So you had said. But it had been at least three weeks since your brothers had last seen you, which was unusual.

The three of you had been thick as thieves since you were young, almost joined at the hip. Everyone thought the three of you would grow out of it but you didn’t. The longest you’d been apart was when Jay had enlisted but he had come right back and it was as if he had never left.

Even when you all had crazy schedules, you saw each other almost every other day.

Until now.

Jay sighed, as he took out a can of beer from his fridge and glanced at his phone. He was worried about you but apart from repeating everything he had said before, he was out of options.

A couple of raps on the door made Jay look up, glancing at the clock automatically, wondering who it was.

He swung open the door and froze at the sight in front of him.

“Jay…”

Your face was tear-streaked, your voice shook a little and he could tell you’d been crying. “Y/N? What’s going on?”

You looked down again but Jay ushered you in. “Hey, come here kid.”

Jay pulled you closer to him, wrapping his arms around you in that protective way he used to back when you were young and you had had a nightmare. “It’s okay, it’s okay.”

“I’m sorry, Jay. I’m sorry.” You sobbed but Jay just held you tighter as the both of you stood in the doorway, until your sobs slowly died down and you were breathing evenly.

Jay quietly led you further into his apartment, navigating around the coffee table and to the couch. “I’ll be right back.”

Jay glanced at you sitting on the couch and felt a wave of rage. If he could, he’d drag Mark’s ass here and pound on him. Instead, he took a deep breath, grabbed his phone and dialed Will’s number.

“My place. Now. It’s Y/N.” Jay said, the moment Will answered the phone.

“On my way.” Will responded, without a beat of hesitation.

---

Will had practically flown here, flying past Jay the moment the door was open and heading straight for you on the couch.

“You okay?”

You didn’t respond but Will pulled you into a hug anyway, as Jay sat back down next to you.

“I’m sorry.” You said, the guilt once again rising up inside of you. You saw Will furrow his brow slightly. “What?”

“I said I wouldn’t shut you out. I promised... and I just… I…” You wrung your hands together.

Jay shook his head. “Y/N, we’re not mad.” You raised your head to look at him. “What happened?”

You paused, looking at your brothers. You didn’t know how you deserved them at all.

“You were right. I should have listened to you.” You whispered, tears pooling in your eyes again. You had been so convinced that Mark was the best thing that had happened to you. You had been so head over heels in love with him that you hadn’t been able to see him for who he really was – a manipulator.

Your brothers had been right. He’d cut you off from all your friends by saying that he just wanted to spend as much time alone with you as possible. He’d slowly even cut you off from your brothers, saying that they had it out for him and that maybe the both of you could benefit from some distance from them – and when you had disagreed, Mark had started to use other tactics. You couldn’t believe you had allowed yourself to be sucked in like this.

You made all your decisions around Mark, letting him tell you what jobs you should take, which restaurants you should go to, even which bars you should or shouldn’t go to. You had put him at the very center of your life and after all that, he had cheated. He had brought another woman to the fancy places he wouldn’t take you to, bought things for her that he would never have bought for you.

You could still see it, how he had his arm draped over her shoulder, walking out of that fancy restaurant – the one you wanted to try but he had said no and you had dropped it. But there he had had been with another woman.

“I can’t believe I’ve been so stupid.” You muttered, as you finished telling your brothers everything.

“Hey, look at me.” Jay said, his voice stern.

You pulled your hands away from your face and looked at Jay. “You are not stupid.” Jay said.

Will continued, “None of this is your fault, do you hear me?”

You looked from Jay to Will. “I’m sorry.” You said again. What made you feel worse was actually having allowed Mark to get between you and your brothers. Your brothers who loved you and cared about you more than anything in the world, your brothers who always put your needs above theirs. For the life of you, you had no idea why you had fallen in love with a man who was everything your brothers were not.

Instead of trying to convince you otherwise, your brothers moved at the same time, crushing you in between them.

The bear hug.

The hug that made you feel safe and protected.

“I should have listened to you. I always listen to you. Why didn’t I…” You sobbed against Will’s shoulder.

Will just patted your back gently. “Hey, we all go through this. Jay and I, too.”

You shook your head. “Not like this.” You said, “You’ve never done this.”

Jay squeezed your shoulder from where his hand was around you. “You believe in people, and that’s a good thing. That’s why people love you.”

“I hate it.” You muttered.

“We don’t.” Will said, pulling away slightly so that you could see his face. “It’s what makes you, you. And if someone can’t appreciate that, he doesn’t deserve you. Never have, never will.”

Jay put his hand on your head affectionately. “And if you need me to pound him into the ground…”

You finally cracked a smile.

“Can I stay here tonight?” You asked, looking up at Jay. “I just… don’t really want to be alone.”

He smiled at you. “As long as you want, kid.”

---

It had been a week since I had landed in front of Jay’s apartment. Will and Jay had made every effort to take you out, your favourite foods, drinks, to keep you as distracted as possible and to say you were thankful wasn’t even enough to cover it.

“What did I do to deserve being your sister?” You asked absentmindedly.

Will slid a drink to you. “You got that upside down.”

Jay grinned, “I’ll drink to that.”

You smiled, shaking your head but clinked your bottle with theirs.

“Jay.” Will said, motioning towards the door of Molly’s which swung open.

Jay turned from where he was seated next to you and the growl that escaped his lips made you turn as well.

You couldn’t believe Mark would just waltz in here, to Molly’s, after what he did, knowing that this was where you and your brothers always were. He knew.

You turned your eyes away and looked straight back at Will before you heard Jay’s chair drag back.

“Jay!” You hissed, but Jay was already halfway towards him.

Jay marched straight up to him, snarling, “How dare you show your face around here.”

You ran right up to Jay, grabbing his arm. “Jay, don’t. You’re police.” You whispered.

Mark let out a grin. “Yes, a police officer can’t go around hitting people, can they? Hey Y/N.” He even greeted you as if nothing had happened.

You tugged Jay backwards as Will swung, catching him off guard with a punch.

“Will!” You yelled, as Kevin and Kelly moved forward automatically to put themselves in between Will and Mark.

“Don’t you dare show your face around here.” Will snarled.

Mark shrugged, an annoying smile still lingering on his face. “Well, sadly you can’t ban me from a business that isn’t yours.”

You heard a loud bang as Herrmann stepped out from behind the bar. “Get out of my bar.”

You watched as Mark’s eyes widened a little in surprise but he turned to leave. You sent a grateful smile to Herrmann and all the rest around you, the friends you had thanks to your brothers. “You’re family.” Herrmann said.

You turned back to your brothers, throwing a glance at Will.

“Told you we have your back.” Will said. He looked as if he was about to apologize but you interrupted him.

“Thanks.”

Your brothers’ heads snapped up. “Thanks for having my back.”

“Always.” They responded unanimously, as the three of you headed back to your table. You smiled as you watched them lead the way back, knowing that you were going to be just fine.

---

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