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bamgyw · 4 months

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˚₊‧꒰ა ♡ c.bg; six nights ♡ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

summary: six nights of emo boy gyu sneaking into your room without your daddy knowing. aberrational catholic guilt ridden catcher in the rye wannabe porn document. afab reader x softdom!beomgyu. warnings: everything, unfortunately. minors dni. heavy smut ahead. lots of pretentious writing, too. catholic guilt and imagery. abusive behaviour, parental neglect. drug use. violence. everyone is sad. i’ll keep on updating part-specific tags. index: prologue: the house of god, first night, second night, third night, fourth night, fifth night, sixth night, dawn of the seventh.

prologue: the house of god

when daddy wanted to hide something from you, he would turn to his beloved bible. and ever since you turned fourteen, he had been holding on to a passage that he would repeat to you every night before going to sleep:

"let no one say when tempted, "i am being tempted by god," for god tempts no one. but each person is tempted when lured by his own desire. then desire gives birth to sin, and sin brings forth death."

that is the only sex talk your daddy ever gave you. it was more of a sex mantra than a talk, or a warning, or even a prohibition. just a rule of nature that he wanted you to have engraved in your mind: desire is sin, and sin is death.

when daddy didn't want you to do something, he'd blame the rule on god. and there's little you could say against that.

as you grew up, you realised that god might not be real, but daddy most certainly was. a punitive, disciplinary god. and one feels much more compelled to obey divine rule when god lives under your roof. when you can touch him, and he can touch you.

when god lives in your house and his wrath can tear your flesh apart not in hell, not in heaven, but in this life; you become more cautious than the most devoted of christians. so even when everyone in your grade started drinking, dating, having sex; you had it very clear that the priority was to protect yourself. not from the dangers of drinking, dating, or sex; but from daddy, that is to say, from god.

none of your friends from school understood it, that the fear of god was not irrational. you had scars and bruises that god had given you which you could perfectly show them. but then daddy would get in trouble. besides, he wouldn't like you showing your body around.

none of them could ever understand what living with god was like, so they were the kind of people who would ask that stupid question; if god loves us, why does he hurt us?

the first person to understand god was a boy called choi soobin.

daddy had remarried choi soobin’s mom the year before you started college. she was a beautiful woman, lively and hopeful to start a second life after becoming a widow. it must be thrilling to get a chance at a second life when your first one has gone wrong. soobin’s mom could have been very happy in another universe. you felt sorry that she had stepped into daddy‘s trap.

you had always wondered how daddy had managed to get a woman like her. bright, cultured and affectionate. but then you figured that maybe, as he was god, he didn't necessarily need to be yahweh, or elohim. he could also be zeus and disguise himself as a swan to kidnap and rape leda.

you found out later that soobin‘s mom had never fully recovered from the passing of her first husband, and she often suffered from major depressive episodes. daddy saw that void in her, and her urgency to fill it. he forced himself into the hollowness of the void, and obstructed her veins, bones, and heart with the word of god.

soon enough, soobin’s mom had no limb or internal organ she controlled herself. she had once had colours, you remembered; rosy cheeks, a hazel head of hair, lips tinted with vibrant red. but daddy had turned her grey.

soobin’s mom had been kind enough to see the good sides of daddy, you had liked her for that. but you regretted that she hadn't learned to hide her colors so that daddy couldn't steal them away, like you did.

she became a shadow of herself, an almost non-verbal phantom trapped between the real world –that is, the confines of daddy's house– and the world of hopeful prayers and the salvation of soul.

the boy called choi soobin would never forgive daddy for that. but it was alright. you understood. in a sense, he had killed his mom. you had to love daddy because he had created you, but you didn't think choi soobin was obliged to.

people said choi soobin had changed, too. that he used to be a gentle kid, polite and sweet, but he had turned hostile. that, like most teens, he had become self-absorbed and belligerent without a cause or that he had gotten those adolescent mood changes so late in his life because he was an attention seeker. people say things like that when they don't understand what living with god is like.

you were the only one who didn't believe daddy when he said that soobin had a demon inside. you knew better than that, you knew that daddy saw demons everywhere. but soobin’s own mom believed it. when daddy tried to exorcise the demon away from soobin with fist and blood, she looked away.

all that soobin had wanted by acting up against daddy was to save his mom. to bring her back from the dead. but after that betrayal, he stopped trying.

soobin had never been violent towards you, though. not once. not even mean. you were the only one who understood him, the only one who told him he wasn't evil. you knew that god's tyrannical rule could break a person, fill them with hate. and so soobin and you became close, often talking against god. every whispered defamation, every blasphemy, the danger of it felt so exciting. not because of the mischievous sin, or because of the disobedience, but because you felt like you could speak your mind at last.

your first kiss was soobin. you felt loved when it happened, something you realised you weren't used to. the feeling bloomed throughout the following week as you hid from god's watchful eye to be together.

soobin told you a hundred times that you were the most beautiful girl in the world, kissing all over your face, clasping you as close to him as he humanly could. he would sneak his hand under your skirt and whisper, "don't think about him right now. it's just you and me." and though his touch never went very far in the magnitude scale of sin and punishment, it was enough to breathe a new life into you.

you sensed that a big part of why soobin wanted you so bad was because he got turned on at the idea of defying daddy, and groping his holy daughter was the greatest offence he could commit. but that was alright. you felt the same way. and you hoped that that hate-induced lust would turn into love, in time. you could then be happier, even in the house of god.

or you could have been happier. because god is omnipresent. and he would soon act to see you separated. the blossoming flower was brutally ripped from the soil.

when daddy found out, he locked himself into the master bedroom with soobin one morning and didn't let him go until the sun began to hide. soobin left that room broken and dead in life, just like his mom, but he didn't have one single bruise. maybe daddy really was god, after all.

soobin never talked to you again. spoken, yes, but it was hollow. you never felt loved again. you learned a lesson that day: your pleasure brings pain to everyone around. the mantra became true. desire is sin, and sin is death.

so if there was any need left in your body to touch, to kiss, to lick, to possess or be possessed; you confined it to the darkest pit of your ribcage, way past your heart, never to be accessed again.

until choi beomgyu came around.

he was the second person to understand god. but he had brought his lesson learned from home. he knew god’s ways even before he met daddy. he had a god of his own. you called yours daddy, he called his ‘that narcissistic sadist’. but strangely enough, you felt like they meant the same thing.

choi beomgyu was sort of soobin's friend, if you could even call it that. they never labeled each other as such, never sought out each other's company for the sake of friendship. they just wanted to live through their loneliness while sitting in the same room.

beomgyu’s dad was a dealer. he made a living out of ruining people's lives, as beomgyu saw it. growing up, he had promised himself that he would never be like that, the kind of person who doesn't care about poisoning someone's body if that meant keeping the cash flowing. but as he grew up, he learned that it wasn't all black or white. that all of those fools kept showing at his father’s doorstep, like they had no other choice. like they enjoyed hurting themselves.

beomgyu, like soobin, had become hateful. one of the things that bothered him the most was the "why me?" question. how unlucky he could have been to be born of such a father. but then again, he could run away. he could sort his shit out, get a job, never see his father again. but he kept going back. like he had no choice. like he, too, enjoyed hurting himself.

his dad barely knew he existed, and if beomgyu ever tried to make himself heard, he would silence him in cold blood. so any semblance of love or validation beomgyu could aspire to, he sought out with mathematically strategised plans. he craved the drug of attention and knew exactly where to get it.

he'd linger around fancy schools and church events, scoping out a certain type of girl. there was always a few of them going through a rebellious phase, desperate to go out with a bad boy and piss off their high-official dad.

it didn't take much effort for him to get what he wanted. he was handsome enough to make it easy, and even though he was a spiteful nihilist, he could be charming on command. just a smirk, a tousle of the hair, and some cheesy lines like, "i'm messed up, but with you, i feel like maybe i could be better," or "you're too beautiful for a screw-up like me." and he would have them wrapped around his finger.

he would bring them over to his place and fuck them rough on his drug-money-bought mattress. if there was shouting, or a gunshot coming from another part of the house, he'd fuck into them harder, muffling their fear with a rough kiss, using their panic to fuel his own twisted thrill. you fucking scared? i've gone through this crap every day since i was a kid.

if he could crack the shell of a privileged princess, dragging someone along with him down to his mud, his pain would slightly numb out.

for just a little, but never enough.

that pattern of behavior didn't lead to happiness. not even to satisfaction. it was a vindictive way of muffling his pain with the aching moans of someone who had it easier. but in reality, it only pierced what was left of his soul, making him even more hollow. it was soobin who made him realize that.

until that day, beomgyu saw soobin as almost a kid—pitifully weak and too sheltered. but when he told him about his exploits of going after posh girls, soobin didn't applaud in shared bitterness as he often did.

beomgyu explained to him how hard he got seeing the fear in their eyes as they realised that the life he led, that freedom of the rebel, wasn't as cute and bohemian as they had romanticised.

soobin responded curtly. "and then what? you cum, the spell wears off and you stare at the ceiling in silence, thinking of how miserable you are." he said. "and then you feel guilty for being a piece of shit and using that girl as a blow-up doll. and because of that you feel even worse about yourself, which means becoming more hateful and ruining more people. its not a you thing, you're not that special. that loop has been said and done. probably how your dad feels after beating on you."

beomgyu was taken aback. he didn’t even find it in himself to get offended. he remained pensive for a while before saying, "hyung. do you think i'm a bad person?"

soobin replied; "i think you can choose not to be."

and beomgyu took the advice. he put an end to the hunter-gathering of rich girls. he respected soobin from then on, too. soobin had therefore been a good influence, one could say. or at least an influence beomgyu was willing to accept. he started hanging around your house more, to the point of almost never leaving.

you learned about him as if he were a mythological figure—someone everyone talked about but whose existence you couldn't confirm. as a friend of soobin, beomgyu was bound from the start by an unspoken rule to maintain the least possible contact with you.

beomgyu was made aware of that rule very early on. what he didn't know, because he had been misled, was your age. that's why he didn't think much of it at first; he thought you were a kid. so, whatever—he couldn't talk to soobin’s annoying little stepsister. big deal. he didn't care about kids anyway.

this, combined with the prison-like structure of daily life in that house—minimal time in common areas and endless hours rotting in your own cell—fulfilled daddy's command to keep your life and soobin's, and therefore boemgyu’s, completely separate.

but even though you hadn't seen choi beomgyu in person, you had been able to construct a fairly accurate forensic portrait of him, pieced together from your father's warnings about people like him.

about the piercings, daddy believed that the body is holy, and anyone capable of mutilating within sin. about the music they played when locked up for whole afternoons in soobin’s room, he believed that god is serene, and disturbing that peace is a sign of the devil. he considered long hair on a man an abomination, and much like the eccentric clothes, a mark of a sodomite.

daddy didn't approve of him, and saw him as no more than a threat to the sanctity of his home. but beomgyu was quick to remedy the situation.

beomgyu was most acquainted to the ways of gods. he knew they were capricious, proud and pathologically narcissistic. so he made sure daddy could see he was a troubled young man and played the role of the lamb seeking guidance. he convinced daddy that he could abduct him, like he had done with soobin and his mother.

when soobin recounted the scene to you, his voice had sounded more hopeful, more full of admiration than you had ever heard. "he went to your dad and talked to him as if he was the buddha. said that he was lost and needed someone to guide him on the right path." soobin said. "he had some quotes from the prodigal son parabole learned, and he just delivered so naturally. not a trace of shame because when he lied to his face like that. it was like watching a play. your dad bought everything."

from then on, beomgyu became an unsung hero in your eyes. the boy who had outmanipulated daddy into having it his way. the boy who had defeated god.

around halloween that year, beomgyu and his dad had a terminal fight. it ended on a threat so destructive that beomgyu thought it was for the better if he stayed away from his father's place for a couple days. maybe a week. soobin, knower of the impotence and humiliation of having to sleep under the roof of the one who lacerated you and torn you to pieces, offered him shelter.

daddy's eyes lit up with greed. he saw the definitive chance to welcome a prodigal son into the fold. for beomgyu it was almost a joke. he was amused at how fast daddy allowed him in. so clueless and hasty, like one of the girls he used to charm into his bed.

in truth, beomgyu wasn't even to blame when he inevitably bumped into you. it had been daddy's mistake, he had let him in himself. you thought maybe that made daddy more human, somehow. that he forgot to close the back door to the prison and the devil strolled in.

but it wasn't really a matter of having let his guard down. daddy was still as stern, still as disciplinary, still as paranoid as he had always been. choi beomgyu was just much smarter than daddy.

he was a demigod, he was a promise. he was soon to make you his.

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ next part

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ please let me know if you think reading about booty sex is gross (i'm doing market research)

#i know nothing happened #consider this a teaser #incoming depression sex yay !!#beomgyu #beomgyu angst #txt smut #beomgyu smut #txt hard thoughts #beomgyu hard thoughts #beomgyu x reader #txt x reader #beomgyu fic

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yumeka-sxf · 1 year

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My thoughts on Spy x Family: EYES ONLY Guidebook (English ver) - part 1

I finished reading through my copy of the English version of the SxF manga guidebook "EYES ONLY." There's tons of fantastic information about the series, but I wanted to share my thoughts/commentary on parts that were the most interesting to me. Since there's so much content to cover, I'll be dividing it into a few different posts. Also, rather than go in the order of the book's sections, I decided to group the content based on topic. This first post will cover Endo's comments about the characters individually, as well as information about Garden.

Endo's Q&As and comments about the characters

Loid:

I like that Endo provides a reason for why Loid wears a WISE logo pin as it's something more than one fan of the series has questioned! And I totally agree with Lin about his "lack of distinctive features." Compared to so many other anime characters, especially shonen main characters, Loid's design is so plain, particularly in his hair and clothes. At least in his spy outfit he has a gun to make him a little flashier, but when he's in his casual clothes, he literally just looks like "some guy," haha. But that also makes sense for his character.

I love how Endo gave specific numbers for comparing Loid and Yor's strength (Yor: 10, Loid: 6-7)

Anya:

I did notice what Endo is talking about how Anya's design changed over time. But that can be said for all the characters really, and it's definitely not uncommon for manga-ka's styles to evolve as they get a better feel for their characters and world.

He mentions the classical language thing that was also brought up in chapter 42. Definitely makes me think that will somehow tie into her backstory.

Speaking of Anya's backstory, there was this little excerpt about the researchers at the lab. So one thing we can say for sure about her past is that she was not treated well there at all (which has been hinted at in the series).

Endo also discussed the origin of Anya's pink hair (namely, there really isn't any origin, lol).

Yor:

Interesting that he spent the most time designing Yor, and also about the origin of her stilettoes. And his apology to the cosplayers for that bonus feature about Yor's hair, haha.

I had to chuckle when he said they can't measure her strength because she keeps breaking the instruments! Also the fact that she hasn't learned how to make a single successful meal since the stew…Endo is such a savage sometimes, lol. But keep in mind that this book was originally published over a year ago, and obviously we know from recent chapters that her cooking is improving. I also like that he mentions that she has left witnesses to her work, like in Extra Mission 2. I wonder if that will be a bigger plot point somewhere down the line.

Like Anya having pink hair, Endo expresses some regret about making Yor an assassin (but his laugh makes it clear he's not terribly hung up about it!)

Bond:

I know some people are bothered by the fact that Yor is Bond's least favorite. But I think Bond's (initial) dislike for her originated from the chapter where he assumes he would have died from her cooking. Also the fact that Anya put the idea in his head that she would "murder" him if he did something she didn't like, like shun her food (which is obviously heavily exaggerated). But again, this book was published over a year ago, and the most recent chapter revealed that he definitely doesn't dislike her even if she's not his favorite. It's perfectly normal for pets to have family members they prefer over others for whatever reason.

Franky:

I love that Franky does charity work. I hope we'll see that in a future chapter.

Fiona:

It's interesting that he ranks Fiona's combat ability so low, especially when you consider what she did to Wheeler in the recent arc. But to me, that wasn't so much a display of combat prowess as it was totally raw, uninhibited willpower.

Yuri:

I love his blunt answer about whether Yuri has other interests besides Yor. Also intriguing that he mentions Nightfall when discussing Yuri's combat ability…maybe those two will meet eventually?

Information about Garden

Since Garden is still such a mysterious entity in the SxF universe, I tried to gather everything about them that the book mentions.

It's interesting that Yor sees Shopkeeper as her mentor since he taught her survival skills in her youth. The book also raises the question about how Yor found Garden in the first place…maybe something Endo will expand on in the future?

So the information Franky gives us about Garden is exaggerated? Gah, that just makes them even more mysterious!

The above was a cool bit of trivia...so it seems like the secret police might know more about Garden than WISE. Perhaps Yuri will find out about Yor's real identity before Twilight?

Continue to Part 2 ->

#spy x family #spy family #sxf #spyxfamily #loid forger #yor forger #anya forger #bond forger #yuri briar #franky franklin #fiona frost #sxf manga #sxf manga spoilers #sxf spoilers #tatsuya endo

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knapptapp · 7 months

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Elevator- JamesPotter x GN!Reader

WC: 950

You are stuck in a muggle elevator with James Potter, Who wont stop flirting with you

Tags: Fluff, angst(?), Sarcastic reader, Slytherin reader, Flirty James Potter, Insecure reader

A/N: Wrote this from a prompt, trying to dip my toes into the Marauders fandom not a fully fleshed out fic or anything. A little experiment

“This might be a bad time to mention it, but I really like your perfume.”

“Oh shut up,” You said with a scowl as you once again pushed the emergency button.

Professor Corbyn had thought it a wonderful idea to assign the seventh year class a lengthy list of ‘muggle activities’ to complete. She had also thought up the brillant of idea of assigning partners randomly. Though you had your doubts about the “randomness”.

Still, it was a project worth a good chunk of your grade. As much as you wanted to, you couldn't blow it off. Which is how you ended up stuck in an elevator with James fucking Potter. James who thought your perfume was of utmost importance at the moment.

“No seriously, it's quite lovely.”

You ignored him and pressed the call button. A moment passed…..Nothing. Great, not even the phone was working.

“Where did you get it? From Diagon alley or-”

“Can you be useful for once?” You interrupted.

James pushed himself away from the wall he had been leaning on, “Can you apparate?”

“No.” You admitted begrudgingly. Getting your license was on your to do list, there just hadn't been enough time. You were really starting to regret not putting it up higher on your list. You fanned yourself with your hand.

“Someone will come for us eventually.” James said with a shrug. He seemed completely care free and not at all worried about the situation at hand.

“Yeah. If we don't die from heatstroke before then.” You settled against the wall opposite of him and slid down till you were seated. It was just a tad bit cooler down on the floor.

“I know how you could cool off.” James said with a smirk. Just in case you hadn't understood his comment, he lifted just the hem of his shirt to reveal a sliver of tanned skin. You quickly looked away, but not before you caught a glimpse of a dark trail of hair disappearing beneath the waistband of his jeans.

“Oh fuck off.”

James copied you and slid down to the floor. Instead of sitting with his legs tucked up to his chest like yours, he instead stretched them all the way out. The elevator was tiny and James’ legs were long, the sides of his red converse knocked against your thighs. Cloth shopping had been another part of the project.

“Have I told you your shoes are ugly?”

“Many times,” James responded unphased, “You just don't like them because they're red.”

“Horrible color.”

“I think you'd look really nice in red. Got one shade specifically in mind actually.”

“Yeah, no” You fidgeted with the fraying sleeve of your dark green jumper. House pride was taken very seriously in Hogwarts. Wearing gryffindor red was an act of betrayal.

“You would,” He insisted, “I even have a jumper that would look perfect on you! Says ‘Potter’ right across the back.”

“Careful now James, I might think you're hitting on me.”

“Did it take you this long to notice?”

You knocked his foot away with your palm. James allowed it before he returned it back to tapping against your thigh. He was such a tease. He had been on this since you two got assigned partners.

“Ha Ha very funny,” You replied dryly.

He tapped his foot rhythmically against your leg, you tried your best to ignore it. The elevator was completely silent. The music had cut off when the elevator had come to a sudden stop with a metallic screech. There was nothing but the sounds of James and your breathing.

Your whole body was on edge. You couldn't help but keep anticipating the worst. Any movement made you feel like the elevator would go crashing to the ground below, You were stuck on the seventh floor and you had heard one to many horror stories.

“I'm bored,” James said, “We should do something.”

“Like what?”

“Why don't we play a game of truth or dare?” suggested James.

“Truth or dare? Seriously?”

“What else do you have in mind?” he replied smugly.

“Fine, let's play.” you agreed reluctantly.

“Okay, I'll start. Truth or dare?” James challenged.

You sat for a moment, mulling over your choices. There weren't many dare options while stuck in an elevator, but everyone and their mothers knew James Potter was a master prankster. He could probably come up with something within a second. Hell, he probably already had fifty dares planned out. Better to play it safe then.

“Truth.”

“Okay..” James pretended to think for a moment, he stroked his chin and gazed up at the roof dramatically, “Why don't you like me?”

Oh. Straight into it. You looked away from him uncomfortably. The thing was, you didn't not like him. Honestly, it was the opposite. But you couldn't let him know that. You would never hear the end of it.

“I don't not like you…You're just loud…” You said carefully.

“I think i’m quite charming honestly,” James smirked.

“Yeah, you think that.” You said with an eye roll

“You don't think I am?” James tilted his head to the side, one loose curl fell in front of his eyes. God damn it. Yes, you wanted to say. I've thought that you are charming since fourth year. But of course, you don't say any of it.

“Not at all.”

“You're forgetting the rules of the game again.” He teased. He leaned forward, only a couple inches closer than before, but still all too close.

“I’m not lying.” You attempted to sound confident and self assured but you couldn't manage to bring your voice above a whisper.

The gods must have heard your prayers because the phone on the wall rang. James and you stared at each other for a moment. He finally pulled his eyes away from you and stood up to answer the phone. You and your feelings were safe for another day.

#james potter #james x reader #james potter x reader #james x you #james potter x y/n #mauraders #mauraders x reader #harry potter x reader

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punksocks · 2 months

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Astrology Observations: No.29

*only based on my observations, only take what resonates

(Oml I didn’t realize that I haven’t written out a proper observations post since May?? I’m so sorry y’all life has been crazy b u s y and the world has been on fire due to colonialism, but I’m going to write more again 🙃 I love astrology but existence is wild y’all)

-I had a client say Geminis always get Gemini tattoos.. while getting a Gemini tattoo lol (and they were right!!) (Leo suns are second most likely imo)

-mutable venuses like changes in fashion a lot, they tend to go through fashion phases

-Every Pisces sun I’ve met has said they don’t really like being a Pisces at least once. Which is so interesting because Pisces sun isn’t a placement in determent, Libra is ! And I think 9 times out of 10 Libras will say they love being Libras (or it’s a huge part of their personality fr)

-My favorite thing I’ve heard from a Libra sun I knew was that they hated doing all of the things that made them appear socially functional so I said “why do you do it? why not just stop doing what you hate?” and they just looked blank like they couldn’t even imagine not conforming (even though they were an aqua moon)

-Ok so I’ve been wondering why I’ve had repetitive instances of some people being passive aggressive and w e i r d at my main job when I literally own the business and I’m their boss?? But it’s that Lilith in 10th. No one is neutral about your energy and you can rub folks the wrong way just by minding your business. I don’t like it but especially at work bc I’m a Capricorn and this isn’t productive >:/ lol

-Oh another Lilith touching Asc observation is when people start a conversation with me like 60-75% of the time they try to challenge me or ask lowkey rude questions (sneak diss shit lol) like 3 different people asked me what tattoo I regret the most and I was like ??? Hello? Who are you? Lol these streets oml…

-cancer placements can be really centered on defending their self, their perspective, their family, their community (they don’t have to be but it can be a common trait). I just noticed the pattern after ages of wondering why cancer was associated with nationalism on a wide scale. (Pluto in Cancer generation and the rise in nationalism after ww2 for example)

-I feel like Sagittarius placements (especially the big 3) will always be ready to do something new and life changing at any age (moving abroad, going on vacation and exploring new places, getting their first tattoo, anything that seems like it’ll open the door to a set of new experiences)

-Strong mars and mercury energy can make someone brutal in arguments (air mars, Virgo and Gemini mars, even Kendrick is an example he destroyed Drake- and Kendrick has mars conjunct Mercury and a Gemini sun)

-Sag Venus culture is being clingy because you need a lot of attention/stimulation and suddenly ditching when you don’t get enough attention/stimulation to keep your interest 🥴 (even more with sag mars since they’re action oriented, they’re in the same camp imo lol)

-I blame America’s Aquarius moon for the cultural phobia of being too “irrational” or “emotionally expressive” ….while being known as being too passionate and irrational in many non US cultures (also the US and the emotional detachment for the sake of “progress”, dark side of this placement but thematic nonetheless)

-imo when sun’s transiting your Lilith you can feel like a lot of attention is on you, sometimes good but often pretty scrutinizing. I also feel like you can achieve some impossible things during this transit due to Lilith’s energy (she’s built for rebellion, so when a lot of criticism is pointed her way she finds an unconventional way to come out on top)

-I have so much writing to do but if there are specific placements you want me to do observations on, let me know in the comments and my inbox!

#astro observations #astroblr #astro notes #astro community #astrology #lilith astrology #capricorn #Libra #Gemini #cancer #asks open #aquarius #sagittarius venus #Sagittarius #Pisces

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ddarker-dreams · 6 months

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hello! do you have any other reader pining for chrollo (just a little bit) thoughts?? i legit feel like i miss chrollo but like…your chrollo and the way you write him specifically. LOL. i love your writing! i know you’re busy so even if you can’t get to this, i hope you’re having a great week!

I MISS CHROLLO TOO why must capitalism force me to perform labor ... a true injustice ... 😡😡😡

chrollo possesses charisma in its purest form. he needn't be flashy about it, no, the silent allure is a hallmark of his charm. this ease at winning others over sets him apart from the most seasoned politician. when you speak, it's like he'd silence the rest of humanity if not only to hear you better. this dedication is intense, teetering the fine line between flattering and unsettling. you believe he knows no other way to convey love. he wants it to be overwhelming, leaving you breathless, so you mistake the asphyxiation for euphoria and not an imminent demise.

recognizing this trait is a testament to your acumen. you wonder why he pursues you as if you're always at risk of falling through his fingers. it can be felt in the little, inconsequential moments, like when a fresh pot of coffee brews in the morning. he watches how you place your mugs side by side. how you measure out his creamer, then yours, making adjustments until it's just so. these simple gestures bewitch him. they make his espresso taste less bitter and his accompanying strawberry danish all the more sweet.

you wrestle with these observations. if you're looking at it too close, or not close enough. eventually, the simplest explanation makes the best case. you, like so many others, forgot that despite his namesake, he's no fallen angel or celestial being. he wants so desperately to maintain your affection and fears a day will come when he no longer will. prior to you, if he failed in one of his endeavors, it wasn't earth-shattering. maybe he didn't read the room right, or made the wrong call. he isn't infallible, it happens, and not every curio he seeks ends up in his possession.

there'd always be another heist; there might not always be another chance with you.

any good criminal establishes contingencies for unknowable variables down the line. maintaining ownership of your heart might be his greatest job yet. there will always be a part of him that can't fully relax, lest his complacency act as the catalyst for his end. this devotion is yours.

on one of those aforementioned mornings, when handing him his mug, his fingers brush over yours. instead of relinquishing your hold, your grasp tightens.

"so..." you trail off, already beginning to regret this boldness yet determined to see it through, "just so you know... you don't always have to try so hard."

chrollo might not acknowledge it outright, but the ease in which he smiles when taking his first sip says plenty.

#all of this to say chrollo cannot be normal for the life of him #chrollo x reader #chrollo brainrot #concepts #answered #Anonymous

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piracytheorist · 2 years

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I love how even silly short missions manage to have their share of wholesomeness and family connection. It's like family is important in a series called Spy x Family or something.

Anyway, Anya is a kid that gets very attached to certain things - and despite being bold enough to use the knowledge she has due to her telepathy in order to make Loid do what she wants, she's not exactly a spoiled kid. She still sticks to Mr. Chimera, the only toy she had while she was in the orphanage. She doesn't ask for new clothes, or toys, or gadgets, what she asks for is experiences (the castle rescue, adopting Bond in specific after she was emotionally invested in him)... and peanuts, too.

So to her, the penguin plush is not just one toy from her plethora of toys that got ruined. It's a toy that her dad got for her. It's a souvenir of their aquarium adventure, where she helped him locate the penguin he needed to find and even arrest the criminal who wanted to get the secret information about the weapon. It's a reminder of how she took part and helped him in his mission. Just a replacement stuffed penguin won't do. It's not the toy itself, it's the memories connected to it. I mean, of course she's sad a toy of her got destroyed - by the dog she asked to have, no less - but it hurts even more knowing what this toy means to her.

And the show takes Anya's feelings seriously with that. The soft "Little by Little" score plays while Loid fixes the penguin, with Yor looking with anticipation. Bond feels sad and regretful, understanding the consequences of his actions and wanting to make it up to Anya. They're all invested in things getting better.

And once the penguin is ready, though with visible "scars" now, Loid reassures Anya that his new appearance is nothing to be ashamed of.

And the interesting thing? Twilight, Best Spy of Westalis, Master of DisguiseTM... stutters. He does so in Japanese both in the manga and the anime.

Which makes me wonder, considering his background and profession, how big his experience with scars is (and if we're gonna learn more about that, come on give the whump fan some scraps here 👀👀) (pls don't spoil me about the manga if we do, I want the whump but on its own time!) and if reaching into his own personal feelings about scars in order to resonate with Anya hit him just a little more than he expected. Or if he was so serious about it that he didn't know whether he should tell her something so grim. He's here dedicating himself into a deadly dangerous job so that kids like Anya won't have to suffer like he did as a kid, and yet he has to pass on to her something he learned the hard way.

Yeah yeah I'm here putting too much thought and grimness into what was supposed to be a wholesome moment. Hi I'm Nette and you'll be getting a lot of those in the future :)

#Spy x Family #Anya Forger #Loid Forger #sxf meta #500 #1k #2k #3k

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blackmosscupcakes · 4 months

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While I'm on the subject of Bells Hells' reactions to the events of last episode, I'm extremely interested in what's going to happen with Ashton. After all, only DAYS ago in-game, Ashton had their own mishap that resulted in the whole party being furious with them to varying degrees. And C3E78, their apology tour for that event, came with plenty of statements and promises on their part that have an awful lot of relevance to current events.

Ashton has always shown a high degree of awareness that this is a group teetering on the edge of darkness at any given time. His apologies in episode 78 tend to be loaded with assurances that he will forgive the others when it's their turn to make mistakes just as he hopes they will forgive him. Here's what he said to Chetney:

TALIESIN: Well, I'm glad you stopped. And I don't know, I'm processing a lot right now, but if I do stay, if you let me stay, the day something happens and it goes bad for you and you hurt a lot of people because, for any reason somebody gets in your head, something bad happens, something pushes you over the edge, something just fucking stupid. Stay or go, I promise that I will stick around, help clean it up. You will get no shit from me. None.

And here's what they said specifically to Laudna when she confronted them:

TALIESIN: I will, no matter what we do, no matter what mistakes we make, no matter what we have, I will stay and I will be there and I will not-- I will not walk away. I don't know what love is, but I'm going with this.

And they seem to be sticking to that promise! At the end of last episode they were very strongly by her side. He clearly sees (understandably, given his past) the act of sticking with someone no matter what to be one of the highest expressions of love. But sticking by someone doesn't mean signing off on all of their behaviour unchallenged, either. I also think it's relevant to look at what was in his mind when Imogen tried to read it:

TALIESIN: I think I've seen a pattern in my life and I've-- I'm going to just describe it instead of-- Just the realization of hubris and temptation and blame and this sudden realization of this epiphany of violent levels of projecting responsibility. Just this very wide thought of so many moments in life of not being responsible for what happened and suddenly going through that one by one of just, it took one week of vaguely knowing where I came from, and the only thing I really knew about these people was that they fucked up in this very particular way and it took me one week to do the exact fucking same thing. Because I was so desperate to have it and so desperate to have something that I lost so that I could be mad at someone for taking it.

They immediately took a step back and saw their responsibility for the way in which they hurt their friends, and so they expressed regret and apologies for that. He also saw how his actions were a way of reflecting his hurt back out into the world in the same way he was hurt. His father failed him, and his pain and trauma led him down the path of making a very similar mistake. I suspect all of this was on his mind in that moment where he took Laudna by the shoulder and whispered to her that she should start with an apology. They were hoping she would respond to it with that same introspection, but unfortunately a few things--not the least of which being Delilah--are in the way of that.

The question is what does he do next? He made a promise to walk beside, but (as I said above) that isn't necessarily a promise to unilaterally co-sign all of someone's actions, and I'd like to see a step forward in which Ashton uses their experience with the shard and what happened after to perhaps try and further encourage Laudna to make amends and communicate and come into the fold of the group instead of isolating herself. But I wonder if perhaps they do not feel that they have the right to say anything negative to her at all only days after the shard incident. But how does one reconcile that with a group member who risks becoming genuinely dangerous to your other loved ones if she continues down the path she's on?

#critical role #cr spoilers #ashton greymoore

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redrum-alice · 5 months

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ABA x Paracelsus HCs that live in my mind rent-free, even though I haven't played the game--

Some of these HCs include other characters involved in their arcade mode.

ABA is no stranger to stalking people. So when she came across a lookout point, she saw many couples, mostly teenagers, making out and going on romantic dates. She wonders what it would feel like to be young and in love, rather than just declaring someone whom she met first glance as a "husband"

ABA's collection of keys were hidden somewhere in the pocket dimension. She sometimes uses them as accessories to adorn herself, despite the like of knowledge in fashion (the girl wears pants as a top--)

There are many shades of blue that ABA can pick from. Since Paracelsus turned himself blue, the shiny surface reflected more colors than just blue, inspiring her to try and appreciate other colors near the blue gradient.

Added to the color stuff, she eventually tries variation of outfits with other colors, but with blue as the base.

Paracelsus knows when she's feeling fatigued. When she's at her limit, he opens the pocket dimension and lets her rest there until she wakes up. ABA sees this as his love language, but unintentional on his part

Both ABA and Paracelsus have no clue on how homonculi biology works, and Paracelsus hates to admit he feels bad that ABA may be at risk of getting herself hurt without him knowing what to do

Paracelsus wishes he knows more about human anatomy because its the closest one to ABA's physiology.

Since ABA is clairvoyant, she often hears the spirits of their victims which she tries to ignore, and probably because she doesnt know the correct response to a wailing dead person wanting justice. When its too much, she asks Paracelsus if what theyre doing was justified and that she begins to regret her rage filled jealousy directed at those that dont even bother them.

Paracelsus keeps telling ABA that she needn't to worry because it was a necessity for the both of them-- something he deeply regrets to say because he knows she has strong principles that she live by despite not being a human

Paracelsus, deep down, is ashamed of himself for tainting ABA for the purpose of tending to his bloodlust. He saw how genuine and pure hearted she is, but it turned into malice because of his demonic origin. He begins to wonder what ABA would be like if she found someone else years ago.

Just like ABA, Paracelsus has an unspoken fear of abandonment, but since he lacks capacity to feel other emotions, he doesnt notice this.

Ever since Elphelt and Testament approached her with good intentions, ABA wanted to make more friends like them, but is scared that others have ill intentions toward her and Paracelsus.

ABA's favorite book would be Alice in Wonderland when she was still in Frasco, specifically the part where Alice was trapped in a room or multiple doors with the smallest door being the exit. ABA admires this because of the concept of escaping, especially that there's a key involved. (Im biased bc my name's Alice and i like this story--)

Besides door keys, she also collects windup key and smaller keys for chests and compartments. She sees this as a symbol for discovering new things, especially music when she came across a music box that needed a key

Speaking of music boxes, she associates this object with Elphelt bc of her musical talent (and that she may as well look like the ballerina spinning on the music box)

Other than doors, music boxes, and compartments, she also came across a small doll that needed a key. After she winds it up, it began walking and talking towards her and freaks her out. But when it said "mama" in a robotic voice, ABA contemplates and wonders if she was ready to become a parent somewhere in the near future when Paracelsus has a body. An impossible thought, but one could never be sure, and it scares her.

Butterfly Pea tea with brown sugar, or sparkling butterfly pea lemonade with honey would probably her favorite drink because of its color. She shares this with her hubby 🥰😋

There comes a time that her bandanges would get uncomfortable and smell bad from blood stains and wounds, so Paracelsus tells her she needs to change them before she gets an infection. He does stop her midway because he realizes she isnt wearing any undergarments and proceeds to take her in the pocket dimension.

Elphelt offers ABA to shop with her to pick clothes suited for her. The first thing she sees at the boutique display was a wedding dress and begins to day dream a wedding with Paracelsus. Without her looking, Elphelt happily buys the wedding dress with matching tuxedo and gives it to ABA, despite Paracelsus' protests (the fact that he hears them chatting about setting up the wedding next day had him ded on the spot :P)

ABA watches home video tapes left in houses unoccupied by their owners (abandoned or they went on vacation; ABA is a home intruder lol). She finds a tape labeled "Happy Day" and it plays a recording of a newly wed couple dancing at their reception. The way the couple moved gracefully tickled an idea in her brain and insisted she and Paracelsus should dance. But since the large key doesnt have any legs, her attempts in waltzing with him went nowhere 😅 (and this gave more reason for ABA to find a body for Paracelsus)

At late nights when ABA is asleep, Paracelsus wonders that if he had a body, would ABA still be shorter or they would be in the same height? Either way, he was impressed that she can keep herself up with that low weight despite her tall stature, more so on how she was able to carry him around without much muscle mass.

When he sleeps beside her, her hair unwittingly falls on his bow and feels how soft it is. A very pleasant feeling he won't admit.

Everyday, Paracelsus keeps reminding ABA that she needed to eat to gather strength. ABA often forgets to eat because its not hard wired in hr system, nor that it was even natural for her to eat in the first place.

#aba and paracelsus headcanons #aba & paracelsus #aba x paracelsus #aba guilty gear #a.b.a x paracelsus #paracelsus guilty gear #paracelsus #guilty gear strive #a.b.a guilty gear #guilty gear

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ariesqueencobra · 10 months

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what we used to be | ll

Pairing: Eli Moskowitz x Fem!Reader

Summary: Your expectations aren't met when Eli doesn't ask you to the dance. You're left heartbroken for a multitude of reasons and Eli wonders if he can fix it.

Warnings: bullying, slut shaming, mentions of violence

Word Count: 3k

A/N: Here's part two! I'm enjoying the story so far and I hope you do to! Make sure that if you want to see more of this story to comment and reblog! Comments let me know what you like about the story and reblogs help others see the story! Thanks!

I don't consent to this work being copied, translated or reposted.

“Cyberbullying is no laughing matter,” Counselor Blatt said into the mic.

You cringed as you listened to Counselor Blatt talk about bullying, specifically targeting Eli with her “a mother called about her kid crying with a facial deformity” statement.

Was she really that oblivious?

You sent a reassuring glance Eli’s way, your smile causing him to drop his hand from his mouth.

He tipped a small smile towards you and you reached for his hand under the table. A small gesture you both have been doing more and more.

“This Friday is our Halloween dance,” the counselor continued.

You half-zoned in on her announcement of dressing in appropriate and inclusive costumes. You thought to yourself about your costume, part of you hoping Eli would like it. Speaking of which, you hoped he would actually ask you to the dance.

It had been a week since you both confessed your feelings for each other. While you enjoyed the hand-holding, you were still waiting on a date. Maybe you should ask him out, you tend to think to yourself. But you never had the guts to.

“You should come by my karate dojo tonight,” Miguel told Eli. “We’re still looking for recruits”.

Eli smiled, nodding slightly.

“Hear that Eli?” Demetri began to speak with sarcasm. “You’re gonna learn to kick some ass with a little karate training,” he beamed, making movements with his hands.

You frowned slightly just as Eli dropped his smile and pulled his hand away from yours. His mind already rethinking the possibility of actually joining a karate dojo.

You chewed on your lip, pulling your hand back in your lap, trying not to dwell on the ache it left in your chest.

“Still no luck on your sketchbook?” Miguel turned to you after the announcements were done.

“Nope, checked the lost and found, all my classes,” you huffed.

You were pacing the entire weekend, waiting until you arrived at school this morning. You even had your mom drop you off at the earliest time to search for it.

“I’m sure it’ll turn up,” Eli reassured.

You nodded just as your gaze briefly brushed over the popular table, your bullies snickering your way. That feeling found its way into your gut again but you looked away, hoping to ignore it.

As the bell rang, you picked up your stuff and said bye to Miguel and Demetri while Eli fell into step beside you.

“I’ll meet you after school?” Eli asked when he walked you to class.

“For sure,” you clutched your books to your chest.

You forced a smile, trying not to let your regret show. This was a perfect time to ask you. Why didn’t he? You wondered.

Sitting at your desk, you dropped your head into your folded arms, hoping you weren’t giving up on the idea too easily.

He had a week to ask you, there was plenty of time.

You sighed as you stared in the mirror, placing the last flower in your hair.

Eli didn’t ask you out to the dance.

While you were sad about it, the hopeful feeling in your heart deflating, you didn’t want to let not having a date ruin your chances of a fun night so you got yourself ready.

After your dad had dropped you off, you walked through the gym doors and stuffed your phone into your pocket, thankful your skirt had them.

The boys’ gaze found yours and you grinned as you made your way towards them.

“Frida Khalo?” Miguel asked, the corner of his lip turning upward when he pinpointed your costume.

“Yup,” you smirked, twirling in your skirt.

The movement and vivid color of your skirt entranced the guys, Eli taking a minute longer to bring his attention back to you.

You smiled to yourself, thankful the dark gym did well to hide your flusteredness.

“Nice costume by the way,” you grinned, complimenting Miguel’s skeleton costume. “What are you guys?”

“Necromancer,” Demetri said.

“I’m a plastic surgeon, I fix lips,” Eli stuttered through the mask, glancing down at the end.

While he was wearing his mask to hide his lip, you couldn’t help but admire how beautiful his eyes were. The blue of his scrubs only illuminated how bright his blue orbs were.

You averted your gaze, staring out to the dance floor.

“To think we traded our movie night for this,” Demetri exhaled while you stood by the bleachers.

“It could be fun,” Miguel disagreed. “We should ask those girls to dance,” he nodded to the three girls out on the dance floor dressed as Dragon Queens.

“Dancing could be fun,” you added, glancing at Eli.

“We should go before we lose our chance,” Miguel encouraged, siding with you but the two boys showed a lot of reluctance.

When the girls found other dance partners a moment later and Eli remained silent, you knew you’d be standing here all night.

“I’m gonna get a snack,” you pressed your lips together, walking over to the snack table.

You weaved through the crowd, your eyes set on the cheese platter at the table.

“Dude, you should’ve asked Y/N to dance,” Miguel scolded, hitting his arm.

“She didn’t want to dance,” Eli said, watching you walk away. “She’s not a dancer,”.

He figured he was right, he knew you best out of the three of them.

“Does it matter? She wanted to dance with you,” Miguel sighed, rolling his eyes. “You missed your chance,”.

Eli glanced down as regret bubbled in him.

“Don’t you guys like each other?” Demetri butted in. “Y/N isn’t getting the message, I mean look how hurt she looks,” the three of them turned to look at you.

You had your arms crossed as you looked over the food at the table. While they were talking to themselves, you were contemplating where you went wrong that Eli didn’t like you anymore.

If he still liked you, he would’ve asked you out, right?

“It’s still new, we haven’t even kissed,” Eli shrugged, staring at you. “What if she doesn’t want to kiss me because of my lip?” he voiced a concern.

“You’d be closer to kissing if you actually show her you like her,” Demetri explained.

“She’s probably doubting herself, you have to make the move,” Miguel said. “Strike first, remember?” he jabbed his fists.

Eli nodded, hiking his shoulders up as he inhaled. It was a lost cause, hiding behind his mask wasn’t giving him the courage he thought he needed.

You chewed on your lip when you briefly met Eli’s eyes at the other end of the gym. Your mind was plagued with thoughts. From how much you wanted to ask him out to how much you were hurt by him.

Throwing your napkin away, you almost bumped into someone, your face recognizing Aisha.

“Nice sodium costume,” you complimented, hoping a friendly conversation will give you the much-needed distraction.

The antennas she wore on her head were cute.

“Thanks,” she smiled. “What is your costume exactly?” She pointed at you, her face contorted in confusion.

“I’m Frida Khalo,” you answered. “It would make more sense with the unibrow and mustache but frankly, I didn’t want to give Yasmine a chance to make fun of me, so,” you trailed, pressing your lips together.

It would’ve tied it all together but you could already hear the comments coming from her. You wished you had the confidence to ignore it but sadly, you didn’t.

“No, I get it,” she sent you a reassuring smile. “It’s a cool costume by the way,” she grinned.

“Thanks,” you beamed. “Is it cool if I chill here? My friends are kinda boring,” you snickered.

You glanced at the three, watching as they sipped on their drinks.

“You’re welcome to stay, but it’s not much of a party over here,” she raised a brow, gesturing around.

“It’s okay, I think what I really need is some feminine energy,” you giggled.

You didn’t have a single girl friend your entire life. You stuck to Eli and Demetri all your life. That didn’t mean there weren’t moments where you wished you had one female friend with whom you could have sleepovers and do all those girly things they did in movies.

As you spoke to the girl in front of you, you thought she was the perfect person to finally share that with.

“Every girl needs that once in a while,” she nodded.

“This might sound a bit forward, but do you want to hang out sometime?” You wrung your fingers together, gripping onto the ounce of confidence you felt.

She blinked in joy, quick to reply. “Yeah, that would be fun!”

“Great, I have you on Insta so I’ll DM you,” you said. “I gotta get back to the guys, but I’ll see you,” you bid before you turned around.

Making your way back to the guys, you were filled with hope, and excitement.

“I made a friend,” you squealed. “A female one!”

“Looks like Y/N’s had more luck with women than us tonight,” Miguel shook his head.

You frowned. “Don’t give up just yet, the night is still young!” you encouraged. “There are plenty of girls waiting to be asked to dance,” you glanced out at the floor again but your eyes trained on Eli, hoping your encouraging speech was connecting dots in his head.

“I think it’s best to scope out here the rest of the night,” Demetri said before going back to his drink.

You frowned but Eli handed you a cup and you pressed a smile, deciding to join them in their wallowing for a little bit.

But when thirty minutes passed and there were no signs of Eli making a move, you grew defeated once more.

“Is anyone going to ask a girl out to dance?” you hiked your shoulders up, staring at the three.

“I kinda gotta go to the bathroom, this punch ran straight through me,” Demetri dodged your question.

You dropped your head.

“Same here,” Eli agreed.

“I think I’m gonna go,” you played with your fingers, pointing to the exit behind you. “I’m gonna call my mom to pick me up,”.

“You sure, Y/N?” Miguel asked.

“Yeah, unless you guys are gonna do more than stand at the punch bowl all night?” your tone rang with obviousness.

“Admit it, Y/N, we’re not the guys that ask pretty girls to dance,” Demetri stated.

Your arms dropped to your sides and you glanced at Miguel and Eli, both of their faces reading in agreement.

“Okay,” you gulped, pain circling behind your eyes as tears threatened to form. “Well, good night,” you bid the boys, sending Eli a look before you walked out.

To think he actually liked you. Who were you kidding?

You went home that night heartbroken.

Eli: are you okay? You haven’t answered any of our messages.

He watched as another text was read by you but was left unanswered.

Hopping off his bike, he made his way to your front door, ringing the doorbell before your dad opened the door.

“She doesn’t want to see you,” he narrowed his gaze at him.

“Sir, I’m not even sure what I did,” he gulped. “I just want to talk,” he tried to reason.

“I’m sorry, son, but I can’t let you. You’ll see her at school on Monday,” he bid him goodnight before shutting the door.

Unsatisfied, he sent you another text before walking over to your window.

He was thankful your room was on the first floor just as he brought his fist to the window. Through the curtains, he could see the light of your room and your shadow moving about the room.

Anticipation filled him as the shadow approached but it quickly fell when the light dimmed out, signaling you didn’t want to talk.

You heard his footsteps fade away and that’s when you laid back down, deciding it was best to sleep the rest of the weekend away.

The next day, you found yourself at school. You kept your conversation cut with the guys, especially Eli, your heart hurting every time you looked at him.

What you weren’t expecting to see at school though was a beaten-up Miguel. Apparently, Kyler and his gang cornered him at the dance when you had left.

It was brutal.

“I think what you did was brave,” you said, countering Demetri’s point that it was bad karate was boosting Miguel’s confidence. “You actually took a shot even if you knew things could take a bad turn,” you pressed your lips tightly.

The boys shared a glance before turning to Eli.

“Yeah, for sure,” Miguel trailed.

“I thought it was cool that you stood up to Kyler,” Eli glanced at him with a small smile.

“Are you insane? Take it this way, what is the best superpower to have?” Demetri began one of his tangents to prove a point.

“Super-strength,” Miguel answered easily.

“Wrong,” Demetri disagreed. “Invisibility, or super-speed to run away really fast,” he moved back to his work.

“Run away from who?” Kyler’s presence was made.

All four of you stilled.

“We were just leaving,” you all grabbed your things, making a move to run but Kyler got Eli, gripping him by the jaw.

Your heart clenched.

As much as you were hurt by him, you hated seeing him get bullied, especially by Kyler.

You swore if you could punch anyone, it would be him—behind Yasmine and Moon of course.

“Look at this freak,” he snickered. “What girl would kiss that?” he got up real close to his face.

You would, you knew that for sure. But you cowered in fear when Kyler shook Eli, the movement caused you to flinch, catching the bully’s attention.

“Maybe you, since you’re a slut and all,” he smirked, shoving Eli in your direction.

You almost fell from the contact but Demetri was able to catch you.

“Bet you’d kiss anything,” he made a face that had you revolting.

You didn’t understand why he was slut-shaming you out of all people, but then you remembered he was friends with Yasmine.

When Miguel attempted to stand up for all of you, Kyler gave you a mercy pass.

Without another thought, you all booked it.

After spending the rest of school away from Kyler, you were trying to get home but seemingly, Eli wouldn’t let you out of his sight.

“I kinda want to be alone,” you stared at the floor, your books clutched to your chest as you approached your locker.

“Y/N, did I do something wrong?” he stopped you in the empty hallway, a hand on your arm.

“Eli,” you sucked in a breath, about to tell him but a loud laugh disrupted you.

Blonde hair and designer brands filled your vision, her heels clicking against the floor.

“Oh, hey! Y/N!” Yasmine beamed when she spotted you. “We’ve been looking for you,” she walked towards you with Moon at her side, her arms behind her back.

“We wanted to give this back,” Moon said just as Yasmine held out a similar yellow book with lavenders painted on it.

Your heart dropped and you froze.

She wagged it in your face but you couldn’t move.

Eli just stood beside you, his eyes trained on you, searching for any sign of expression.

“Oh, well, if you don’t want it, I guess it’s trash,” Yasmine shrugged, dumping it in the garbage next to you guys. “Later, slut,” she spat towards you.

The two began cackling like crazy, leaving you with tears welling in your eyes.

You sensed Eli moving next to you and you saw him reach into the trash, pulling out your sketchbook.

“I’m so sorry, Y/N,” he said. “Do you want me to look?” he held it in his hands.

“I can look,” you gulped, blinking away your tears as he handed it to you.

You opened it, finding all your sketches and paintings ruined.

Red and black marker filled the pages, and scribbles and scratches graffitied all over. Words like “slut”, “whore”, “piece of shit”, and even comments about the actual drawings were littered everywhere.

Eli sucked in a breath as he read over your shoulder.

You closed the book, a sob racking through you as you turned and slid down against the lockers, your book pressed against your chest.

“Why would they do something like that?” you frowned, staring at Eli who sat beside you.

“I never thought they’d do something like that, I’m so sorry,” he scooted close so your arms touched. “Do you want me to get the counselor?”

You shook your head. Setting your books down beside you, you rested your head against his shoulder, looping your arm through his.

He stilled for a moment but welcomed your touch as he held onto your hand. He allowed his head to rest on top of yours, your hair rubbing against his skin, but he liked the feeling.

Especially having you so close never felt closer to home.

You finally spoke up after you sat there, letting your tears dry.

“I was sad because you didn’t ask me out to the dance or even asked me to dance,” you licked your lips. “But I’m not sad about that anymore,”.

“I didn’t know you wanted me to,” he glanced at his feet.

“I did, but now I’m just wondering if you actually like me or are you just playing with my feelings cause I can go-,” you were cut off by his lips pressing against yours.

You stilled in shock but quickly melted, allowing your first kiss to happen.

“Woah,” you blew out, staring at him, cheeks burning.

“I do like you,” he reaffirmed. “I’m sorry I’ve been taking forever to show you,” he licked his lips. “And I’m sorry about what Yasmine and Moon did,” he said.

“Me too,” you glanced at his lips. “Thank you for being here,” you smirked.

He smiled before leaning in to kiss you again.

For a few minutes, you forgot how sad you were.

#eli moskowitz x reader #eli moskowitz imagine #eli moskowitz #hawk x reader #cobra kai

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munsonslove · 2 years

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Making Deals (part 2)

(18+ only)

(part 1) • (part 3)

summary: It’s been a week since that evening in Eddie’s trailer, and things haven’t gone further like you expected them to. That all changes when a movie theater employee hits on you while you’re out with your friends.

wordcount: 3.5k

tags/warnings: fem!sub!reader, softdom!perv!eddie, friends to lovers, smut, degradation (use of whore), use of pet names (princess, baby, sweetheart), jealousy, public sexual acts, fingering (f receiving), hand jobs, no use of y/n

a/n: sorry they don’t go all the way in this one, i just had this idea and really wanted to write it. there will be a part 3!!!

Last weekend you and your best friend crossed a line that you never thought you both would actually be brave enough to cross. He pushed you so close to the edge that you had no choice but to give into your desires, and you’re so glad you did. At least, would be so glad, if Eddie had finally let go of his stupid pride and just asked you to officially be his already. He hasn’t tried to go past first base since that night, which was rather disappointing seeing as you really expected things to heat up even more after such events. You were still asking for little favors from him, and he was still requesting ‘trade offs’ in return, but nothing past making out and a little feeling up over the clothes. It was extremely sexually frustrating, not to mention demoralizing. Insecurity reared its ugly head, and you couldn’t help but wonder if Eddie regretted what you two did together.

It was Saturday night, and you were sitting with your knees tucked to your chest on the front porch steps to your house, waiting for Eddie’s van to enter your line of sight. It was a warm summer night, and your friend group had made plans to see some new sci-fi thriller that just came to theaters. Not to sound too conceited, but you admittedly felt rather pretty in the outfit you picked out specifically to grab Eddie's attention. You cashed in a favor yesterday to borrow one of his Dio shirts (‘Why do you want it so bad, princess?’ ‘It’ll look so cute with the boots I just bought!’ ‘Well, you know the deal, lay down on the bed…’) and you’ve got it tucked into a little black skirt- the exact one that you’ve noticed makes his eyes wander whenever you wear it. Also, you weren’t lying, it really does go well with your new shoes.

Headlights spark up the dark night in front you, and when you look down the street you see a two-toned Chevy van driving up. Eddie stops right in the middle of the road, not bothering to pull to the side when it’s devoid of any other cars, and hops out to jog around his hood before opening the passenger side door. You make sure to blow a kiss and shoot him a ‘Thanks, handsome,’ as you slide into your seat, giggling at his wink in response.

As you both pull away from your house, he immediately goes into a rant about what happened at band practice earlier, jokingly laying into you about your absence. According to him, it doesn’t run as smoothly when Corroded Coffin’s number one fan isn’t there to cheer them on after every song. Rolling your eyes and rummaging through the glove department, you pull out something you know you’ll both like and insert it into the cassette player before turning up the volume just loud enough that you’ll still be able to hear each other talk.

He continues berating you good-naturedly, “Since you had so much better things to do than sit and look pretty in Gareth’s garage-”

“I had work!” you cut him off.

“- I’ve decided it’s time for you to go through with a little promise you made to me,” he finishes, ignoring the fact that you said anything.

Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion as you rake your brain, trying to think of what promise he’s talking about. Eddie dips his hand inside his leather jacket, reaching into one of the inner pockets and taking out some bunched up fabric. A gasp leaves you as you recognize the panties you were wearing during that night, and a vague memory flashes through your head.

(“I’m gonna stuff them in my mouth while I jerk off,” he answers shamelessly. “Then, when I’m close, I’m gonna rub them on my dick til I cum right in the crotch. Then I’m gonna make you wear them when we’re around our friends, so you can feel the dry crust whenever you walk or shift, and you’ll know that you have a little bit of me right between your legs. Just like I know you so desperately crave.”)

He tosses them to the side, not sparing you a glance as he keeps his eyes glued to the road. They land in your lap, and your hands instinctively go to cover them, your modesty overruling the common sense that he’s had them for the last week. You turn your head wildly to stare at him in shock, jaw dropped and eyes wide. He doesn’t actually expect you to do this, does he? Sure, at the time it was a sexy fantasy and it brought you closer to orgasm, but there’s no way he’s going to make you actually go through with it…

Thinking through the moment a little more thoroughly, you can’t recall ever actually saying you would do it. “I don’t think I really promised-”

“You came, didn’t you?” he asked, interrupting your excuses.

Your face, along with the area between your legs, warms up. For as much as you’re resisting, the idea of only you and Eddie knowing that you’re wearing a pair of panties he made you cum in- and then masturbated with- is really turning you on. You accept his challenge, and throw the dirty pair on the dashboard before unbuckling your seatbelt. Eddie finally looks over and watches as your hands disappear under the hem of your skirt, and the forced nonchalant expression he’s attempting (and failing) urges you on with the confidence it brings you. Your fingertips hook under the lace of your current underwear, and your butt loses contact with the seat cushion as you glide the garment down your legs. When you sit back down to lift your feet and fully remove it, your skirt rides up. Velvet brushes your bare center, and embarrassment floods your system as you accept that there’s probably going to be a small wet patch when you leave the van. Once again opening the glove department, you stuff the delicate lace inside on top of some loose tapes and click it shut before picking back up the other panties.

Finally examining them, you can tell Eddie used them in exactly the way he said he would- maybe even multiple times. He smiles as he watches you put them on and rebuckle your seatbelt, then rests his right hand on your leg, his splayed fingers grazing your inner thigh and squeezing.

Upon leaving the car and walking into the theater side by side, you both meet up with your group of friends and start shooting the shit, ignoring the dirty glares given to you by the parents there with their children. The poster for the movie you’re about to see catches your eye and the tagline makes you laugh. ‘Be Afraid. Be Very Afraid.’ Popcorn, soda, and candy is bought at the concession stand (your share paid for by Eddie, as he always insists) and you can’t help but feel the eyes of the boy behind the counter checking you out as he prepares your purchases. Eddie seems to notice this as well, as he instinctively moves to put his arm around your shoulder until he stops short, remembering that he’s holding two large plastic cups of cola. The employee holds out a bucket of popped kernels to you, and you take it from him.

“Nice shirt! I love Dio,” the boy says, grinning with lidded eyes, clearly attempting to flirt with no chagrin toward the butter stains on his uniform. He’s a little shorter than Eddie, with shoulder length curly blonde hair, clear skin, and a name tag reading ‘Brian’. Definitely the type most girls your age would go for, and you’d probably go for him too if a certain future rock star hadn’t already stolen your heart.

Said future rock star scoffs next to you. “It’s my shirt,” he says, and when you look over you see that he’s not even trying to mask his jealousy. An idea forms in your head.

“Oh, are you two…” Brian trails off, his pointer finger motioning between the both of you.

“We’re just friends,” you explain, and you can feel Eddie’s rage at that statement emitting off of him.

He shoves the drinks into Gareth’s empty hands and takes a hold on your lower back, manhandling you away and toward the theaters. Some popcorn falls out of the bag and you look over your shoulder to call out ‘thank you!’, but as you do you see Brian hurriedly scribbling something down on a napkin and hopping over the counter, jogging over to your little group. Eddie impatiently taps his foot as Jeff reads the ticket, searching for the room number, and he audibly groans when Brian catches up to you guys and clears his throat.

“Hey, I didn’t catch your name,” he says, clearly talking to you alone.

“She didn’t throw it,” Eddie deadpans with his arm still tight around your middle, glaring at the boy with a death stare rivaling Jack Torrance.

You elbow him off and introduce yourself before stepping away and motioning for Brian to follow you with a tilt of your head. He does, of course, and Eddie watches on while silently fuming. The employee seems like a sweet enough guy, and you feel slightly guilty allowing him to think that his advances are working, but you don’t let yourself feel too bad considering he’s handsome enough that he should be able to get over it fairly quickly. He tells you he doesn’t want to keep you from your friends for too long, but you were the prettiest girl he had seen all night and he just had to say something. The conversation is short, and ends with him handing you his phone number neatly scrawled in red ink on a brown napkin. Smiling at you one last time, he says goodbye then walks back behind the counter. You turn to see Eddie standing alone and glaring at him, jean vest still on but now holding his leather jacket in his hands. You pocket the number you have no intention of using and walk over, trying to keep any hint of smugness from your face. He shoves the jacket into your hold and takes your elbow in his grasp, ignoring your cries of confusion.

“Put that on, wait until fifteen minutes into the movie, then take it off and lay it on your lap,” he orders, his eyes never meeting yours.

Although his request doesn’t make any sense, you do as he says without protest. Wearing Eddie’s clothes always made you feel fuzzy inside, so you took any chance you could get. You especially love wearing his jacket, as cliche as that sounds, but rarely actually make an attempt to borrow it because you like the way it looks on him so much better.

He opens the door for you, not returning your smile as you pass by. The two of you find the guys sitting in a row toward the middle, two seats saved between Gareth and Jeff. Eddie goes first, moving past the already situated guests and making room for you. Credits role while the crowd talks, but the room quiets down as the sound of trumpets fill the air and the 20th Century Fox opening plays on the screen. The opening scenes aren’t the most thrilling for a horror flick, but you wouldn’t be able to fully engross yourself in the film anyway. You’re far too preoccupied wondering what the boy next to you’s plan is. After what is probably sooner than fifteen minutes, you slip the leather off of your shoulders and fold it in your lap. Eddie waits approximately thirty seconds, then places his hand on your thigh under the jacket.

You understand immediately what he’s plotting, and sneak a glance to Jeff on your other side. His attention is thankfully being held by the movie, but you’re not sure that you’ll be able to keep quiet and still enough to not be obvious. Fingers creep further up your leg, slipping under your skirt and teasing the delicate, sensitive skin on the inside of your thighs. A breath hitches in your throat when his pinky brushes your pussy through the fabric of your underwear, and you hear Eddie stifle a laugh next to you. He presses firmer against your slit, rubbing it up and down, already feeling it dampen with your arousal. The fact that these particular panties haven’t been washed since being soiled with his cum has you wetter than you’d like to be this early on in the process. The tug of the cotton catching on your engorged clit makes you moan, and you have to cover it with a cough.

Your panties are pushed to the side and Eddie runs the tip of his ring finger along your soaked lips, collecting your arousal. With the way you’re sitting, he can’t easily slip inside of you, so instead he starts rubbing your clit in quick circles, not giving you time to adjust. You gasp and cover your mouth, but luckily this coincided with a rather shocking and gory shot in the movie, so your reaction went unnoticed. He doesn’t let up, and keeps massaging your clit while secretly stealing glances toward you. When you return his gaze, his pupils are dilated and his lips are moist from him running his tongue over them continuously. Your toes curl and the muscles in your calf tense as the sensations threaten to peak.

You push Eddie’s jacket (and his hand) away from you as you stand to maneuver your way down the row, whispering to Jeff something about needing the restroom. There’s grumbling from behind you, and when you turn to look you see your fellow moviegoers frustratedly lifting their knees and popcorn buckets up to make room for Eddie to follow, his jacket forgotten on the sticky floor.

He jogs down the aisle to catch up to you, and his touch meets your lower back as he urges you forward toward the exit, almost pushing you in his haste. The brightness of the theater hallway has your eyes blinking to adjust, but Eddie spares no second and simply continues leading you with his hands bunching up the fabric of the shirt you borrowed from him. He walks you past the bathroom doors, and out through an emergency fire exit at the end of the hall. It leads to the back of the building, which faces the woods and has a small parking lot that is currently devoid of cars. Outside, the air is humid and heavy, not only due to the density but also anticipation. The only light source is a flickering bulb by the doorframe, along with the dim glow from the waning moon. From the evidence of all the cigarette butts littered on the dirt it would seem that this area is only used for employee’s smoke breaks, granting you the peace of mind that the two of you have at least some semblance of privacy.

Suddenly, you’re pushed up against the wall. The thin fabric on your back does nothing to protect you from the harshness of the bricks beneath, and the rough texture digs into your skin uncomfortably. It’s difficult to care about this, however, when Eddie has your head cradled in his hand, the other on the dip of your waist, and is kissing you deeply. His lips are not gentle on yours, he’s pressing them to you firmly and with passion, and you instantly melt against him. Your arms wrap around his neck, your hands tangled in his wild hair and you hold onto him as if you’re afraid of him floating away. His tongue forces your lips open and enters your mouth, and you feel it vibrating as he moans into you.

“You thought you could just make me jealous and I wouldn’t do anything about it, princess?” he asks as he pulls away, only to yank the t-shirt you’re wearing as far down as he can and start attacking your collarbone with his teeth. “Thought I wouldn’t know what little game you were playing? I wouldn’t know that you were trying to rile me up?”

The wetness in your panties and the ache in your belly is growing more uncomfortable with every passing moment. “Eds, please, I need you,” you whine, trying your best to grind down on Eddie’s thigh.

“Oh, I know you do, sweetheart,” he replies, hiking up your skirt and forcing your panties to one side.

His middle and index finger plunge into you easily thanks to the previous (and humiliatingly public) foreplay. Your hips start bucking against his movements, desperately searching for your release. Wanting to return the favor, your hand falls from his shoulder down his front, until it reaches his jean’s zipper. You unbutton them and pull his hardening cock out, quickly wrapping your fist around it and pumping with a rhythm matching his own. It’s warm and thick, and your mind races at the thought of it inside you, his girth stretching you out and feeling so right. His forehead buries into your neck as he groans out in relief.

“Eddie,” you moan wantonly, “that feels so good…” You can’t believe this is happening here, in the dark behind your local theater, while your friends are probably concerned and curious as to where you two ran off to.

“This is what you wanted, right?” he asked, his hold on you unrelenting, “To be treated like a whore? To be treated like my whore?”

“Oh my god,” you gasp out as he hits your g-spot. He must realize this as well, as he smirks and angles his hand to hit that same spot over and over again.

“Just tell me the truth,” he says, “Tell me you wanted this.”

“F- fuck, Eddie!” you whine. His fingers are now fucking in and out of you with no mercy, and your hand on his cock can barely keep up. “I- I wanted this, okay? I wanted this.”

He smiles sweetly at you. “That’s my girl,” he whispers, then kisses you softly.

Your climax crashes over you in waves, too quickly for you to even give warning. His lips continue moving against yours throughout it, even when your jaw drops and you can’t quite return the kiss fully. You feel a wet warmth hit the front of your thighs, different from the one in between them, and with Eddie grunting into your mouth you realize he’s cumming on you. While it wasn’t the first time you’ve witnessed him orgasm (he came in his pants a couple of times when your make out sessions escalated into dry humping), it was the first time his seed actually ever made contact with your skin. The feeling of him dripping down your leg and over your knee only prolongs your own orgasm, and with his fingers still massaging that spongy spot inside you it soon becomes too much to bear. Tears well up in your eyes as you try to quiet your screams of pleasure, worried about a worker inside hearing and coming to investigate.

There’s no protest from him when you let go of his softening cock and push him away from your center, too sensitive to go any longer. Instead, he eagerly assists in removing his hand and pulls away from the kiss to suck his middle and index finger into his mouth, making the most obscene slurping noise you’ve ever heard. You watch as his eyes roll back in his head and his hand on your back curls into a tight fist, his nails scratching you along the way. He moans loud and deep, and without thinking you swipe some of the semen left on your leg up with your thumb and pop that into your own mouth, desperately wanting to join him in this gratification. The salty sweet taste has your knees buckling, and you would have fallen if not for his hold on you.

“Fuck, baby,” he whimpers around his fingers before taking them out and wrapping his arm around you, pulling you tighter against him. “You taste so fucking good. You already tasted amazing when I was sucking on your panties, but it’s so much better from the source.”

The ridiculousness of that sentence breaks you from your post-orgasmic trance and you laugh as you shove him off of you. He stumbles back, laughing with you.

“I don’t know if you’ll want to sit through the rest of the movie. Maybe we should leave and go to my place?” he suggests, eyeing you up and down with a smirk.

“Oh?” you say, grinning wide while you think about what he’s insinuating.

“Well, I just don’t think you’ll wanna be seen like… that,” he clarifies, pointing to your skirt.

When you look down, you realize Eddie dirtied your black skirt when he finished on you. He laughs and your face flushes as you try to cover the embarrassing stains with your hands.

“Head back to the van,” he says, tossing the keys your way. You catch them midair as he continues, “I’m gonna go grab my jacket and tell the guys you were feeling sick or something.”

“Sounds good,” you nod, giving him one last quick kiss before he opens the door and leaves you alone. Making your way around the side of the building to the front parking lot, you anxiously mentally prepare for what’s in store later tonight.

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson smut #stranger things x reader #stranger things x you #stranger things fanfic #stranger things smut

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444takeomi · 10 months

Text

YOU’RE PERFECT

: ̗̀➛ summary: your boyfriend always seems to know how to make you feel better when you're insecure

character(s): shinichiro sano

warnings: female reader, nsfw, unprotected sex, mentions of body image issues and insecurities, multiple orgasms, oral (f receiving), fingering, mating press, creampie, mirror sex, love-making, praise, dirty talk, lots of body worship, crying during sex, v v sappy

wc: 4.2k

a/n: this one took me quite a while to write as it's very personal to me, i still kinda hate how it turned out but i hope some of you can relate to it and find comfort in it as well. i tried to be as non-specific as possible when describing the reader’s insecurities so apologies if it comes across as a bit vague, i tried my best ahahah

it was another one of those days, one that had you looking at your own reflection and hating everything you saw in front of you.

feeling uncomfortable in your own skin wasn’t exactly anything new to you, having felt unsatisfied with the way you looked for as long as you could remember. with that being said, today in particular had left you feeling much worse about yourself than usual, and you found yourself unable to refrain from picking apart your entire appearance. despite your best efforts at reassuring yourself that you didn't look as bad as you thought, nothing you said was able to provide you with any sort of comfort — if anything you just felt even more hopeless.

it had come to the point where it was almost hard to believe that the person staring back at you in the mirror was actually you. the sight of your own body straight up disgusted you, and you just couldn't understand how it was possible for someone to be so hideous. it was hard to even look at yourself — had it always been this bad? you didn't even want to think about it.

the way your clothes clung to your body did nothing except highlight how blatantly disproportionate your features were, and you were starting to regret your choice of not opting for something baggier when you got dressed this morning. oversized clothing was the only thing that you felt suited you nowadays, the loose fabric swallowing up your figure and concealing all of your flaws, temporarily putting your mind at ease and making you forget about the hard reality of what was hiding under those clothes.

you really tried to distract yourself, to do anything other than spend the entire day wallowing in self-pity over something as superficial as your appearance, but your feelings of self-consciousness persisted no matter how hard you tried to ignore them, which led you to where you were now — clothes scattered across the floor as you stared at the reflection of your bare figure, managing to somehow find fault in every part of yourself.

you knew that your boyfriend shin was living proof that you were indeed worthy of love, but you often found yourself wondering if you were really good enough for him — he was so handsome and tall with such a perfectly toned body, and not to mention he was the most hardworking person you knew, and overall was just an absolute sweetheart who always put everyone else's needs before his own.

he was so wonderful, and you couldn't help but think he deserved someone so much better.

it made matters worse when you subconsciously started comparing yourself to all the other girls shin had asked out in the past, focusing on everything they had that you lacked, appearance or otherwise, and you couldn't help but notice how they all had one thing in common — how absolutely gorgeous they all were. you wondered if shin was just settling when he finally asked you out, it would make sense given the fact that all those girls were clearly far more attractive than you ever were.

shin always looked at you with nothing but adoration, and even if at times you were unable to understand exactly why, it was still clear that he loved you with all his heart. however, no matter how hard you tried to block it out, you always found yourself listening to that little voice in the back of your mind — the one that repeatedly told you how unattractive you were, that you weren’t deserving of love, that you weren’t good enough.

you were so lost in thought that you didn't even hear as your boyfriend came home from work and greeted you from downstairs, too preoccupied with the heavy feeling in your chest as you fixated on every imperfection you saw whilst you stared at your own reflection. shin was a little worried upon not hearing you answer him, used to your usual cheerful welcome as you paused whatever you were doing to give him a warm hug and ask him about his day.

he began searching the house for you, checking each room before making his way upstairs, just to make sure that you were okay. he opened the door to your shared bedroom, and you watched through the reflection of the mirror as he walked in, feeling the sudden urge to cover your body with your hands and hide yourself from his gaze.

shin’s eyes widened ever so slightly at the sight in front of him, and he couldn't help but whistle lowly as he took in your naked figure in its entirety. he looked you up and down, in complete awe as he wondered how someone could be so beautiful without even trying. he felt a little giddy at the thought of you doing this on purpose to surprise him, especially after he'd had such a long day at work. he could feel his cock twitch in his pants as he shamelessly checked you out, his mind beginning to wander as his dark eyes clouded with lust.

“damn, baby. what did i do to deserve all—” shin paused, abruptly cutting himself off upon seeing your saddened expression as you turned to face him, “hey, what's the matter, sweetheart?”

you shook your head at him, averting your gaze in hopes that he wouldn't see the tears that were beginning to well up in your vision.

“it's nothing, i’m fine,” you sniffled, fingers coming up to gently pat at the corners of your eyes, “i just want to be alone right now.”

you didn't want to lie to him, in fact you desperately wanted to tell him everything that was on your mind, wanted him to comfort you and reassure you like he always did whenever you felt like this. the last thing you wanted to do was push him away, but at the same time you knew that you couldn't keep doing this to him. it was obvious how tired he was after a hard day's work, and the last thing he needed right now was you burdening him with something as pathetic as your own insecurities, but here you were.

“no, you're not,” needless to say shin wasn't convinced, easily seeing through your rather weak attempt at hiding how you were truly feeling from him, “i’m not going anywhere until you tell me what's wrong.”

you sighed, swallowing the lump in your throat as you desperately tried to hold back the tears that were threatening to spill. how could he be so perfect? he was always so kind and caring, so patient with you regardless of how exhausted he was after working so hard to provide for the both of you — you didn't know what you did to deserve him.

“why do i have to look like this?” you turned back towards the mirror, voice wobbly as you finally broke down crying, “i— no matter what i do i never feel good enough. i’m so sick of feeling like this, i just… i just wish i was pretty.”

“oh, sweetheart, come here,” shin came to wrap his arms around you, pulling you into his chest as he looked at you through the reflection of the mirror with so much love in his eyes, “you know i think you're perfect the way you are, i just wish you could see yourself the way i do.”

shin was familiar with your insecurities, and he always tried his best to console you despite the fact he couldn't possibly understand why you felt so negatively about yourself. he hated seeing you like this, hated seeing you unhappy with the body he loved so much, it made his heart ache. he didn't know why you constantly talked down on yourself, didn't know how you could be so blind to your own beauty when it was so obvious to him.

he wanted to show you the way he felt about your body, wanted to make you feel loved and desired. he knew that while he wouldn't be able to completely alleviate your feelings of insecurity, regardless of how much he wanted to, he hoped that if he carried on showing you exactly how much you meant to him that in time you would start to realise just how amazing you were.

“shin, w–what are you doing?” you asked, voice faltering as you felt his hands beginning to caress your sides, before they came to rest comfortably on your hips.

your breath hitched in your throat as he began placing open-mouthed kisses along your neck and shoulders, his hands kneading the flesh beneath his palms, and you couldn't help but lean into his touch as your eyes fluttered shut and you let out a sigh of pleasure.

“showing you just how gorgeous i think you are,” he replied lowly, his breath fanning against the shell of your ear, “is that okay, baby?”

“shin, you don't have to,” you insisted, biting your lip as he began sucking a hickey onto the skin of your neck, “you've— aah— you've had a long day, you should rest.”

“want you so bad,” he mumbled against your skin, pressing his erection into the curve of your ass, “been thinking about you all day, please?”

his words were making you needier than you would've liked to admit, looking into his dark eyes through the mirror as you began imagining all the things he was going to do to you. shin always made you feel so loved during sex, worshipping every inch of your body and telling you just how beautiful you were. the thought of that alone made you squeeze your thighs together as you nodded, knowing that despite how self-conscious you were feeling, deep down you really needed that kind of treatment right now.

you let out a soft gasp as he picked you up, carrying you over to the bed and carefully laying you down before hungrily pressing his lips against yours. you melted into the kiss, a small whine escaping your throat as soon as he pulled away.

“shhh, let me take care of you, pretty.”

you felt as his lips softly brushed against the valley of your breasts, his dark hair tickling your skin. he looked up at you, smiling fondly as you turned your head away in an attempt to avert your gaze elsewhere, embarrassed by the intimacy of it all. shin took your hand in his, gently squeezing it in hopes of reassuring you a little, before his head dipped back down and he began peppering more kisses over the entirety of your chest, his other hand squeezing your waist before coming to cup one of the mounds of flesh in his palm.

“my baby’s got the prettiest tits, i'm a lucky guy,” he told you, taking your nipple into his mouth and flicking his tongue over the hardened bud, his thumb running across the back of your hand that was interlaced with his own.

you squeezed your eyes shut, feeling too self-conscious to look at your own body as he touched you. as much as you tried to suppress them, several needy mewls and whimpers slipped past your lips as you softly ran your fingers through his hair. shin couldn't help but groan against your skin as he sucked your tit into his mouth, feeling his cock starting to leak in his pants as you arched your chest into him and the sounds of your sweet noises filled the room. once he was satisfied, he released your nipple with a pop, and you felt him eagerly switching to your other breast as he began giving it the same treatment.

after making sure both of your tits had been shown plenty of attention, he went back to kissing along your body, his lips trailing down your tummy as his hand came to gently rub and massage at your hip. you opened your eyes and immediately felt yourself stiffen — instantly noticing the way your stomach looked in your current position, and you just hoped that shin wasn't paying any mind to it.

your feelings weren't lost on him, he noticed the way you tensed up ever so slightly whenever he touched you in certain places, noticed the way your gaze seemed to land anywhere but his eyes. you were so easy to read, your reactions alone telling him everything he needed to know. shin couldn't help himself as he came up to kiss you once again, feeling the heat radiating from your face as his lips gently brushed against yours, before taking your hand that was still entwined with his and bringing it down towards the obvious tent in his pants.

“feel that? feel what your pretty body does to me?” he groaned, your fingers brushing against his aching cock, “you make me so fucking hard.”

you looked down shyly, feeling your face growing even hotter than it was already as you squirmed underneath him — his compliments and praises made your stomach flutter and goosebumps prickle across your skin.

shin made his way between your thighs, prying your legs apart as his lips began trailing sloppily along your skin, gently squeezing the soft flesh beneath his palms. you could feel yourself growing embarrassingly wet as you watched him, excitement beginning to pool in your gut as his dark eyes locked with yours and his mouth gradually made its way closer towards your awaiting heat.

“such a pretty pussy, m’gonna make you feel so fucking good,” he drawled, staring at you in awe before he started pressing open-mouthed kisses over your slit, splitting your folds apart with his tongue and groaning at the taste of your slick.

shin was entirely fixated on you as your face contorted in pleasure, your chest rising and falling with each shaky breath as he took your clit between his lips, his mouth hungrily latching onto the swollen bud. one of your hands instinctively came up to cover part of your face, worried that your expression was off-putting and that you looked especially unattractive from this angle, but your boyfriend wasn't having any of it. he grabbed hold of your wrist, guiding your hand away and granting him a full view of your cute face, watching in infatuation as your brows furrowed and your mouth fell slightly agape.

he couldn't help but growl into you, the vibrations making you jolt in pleasure as you let out a squeal, feeling yourself throbbing against his tongue as you clamped your thighs around his head. shin lifted your legs over his shoulders, giving him complete access to you — he could feel himself slowly losing all remaining self-restraint as he proceeded to absolutely devour you. he continued to slurp at your clit, flicking his tongue over the nub and moaning loudly into your folds, unable to stop himself from humping the mattress below him when you began eagerly grinding your pussy against his face.

that familiar feeling started to build up in your gut, his mouth already drawing you towards your release. before you even had the chance to tell him you were close, you felt your orgasm rip through you, throwing your head back as your whole body tensed up and incoherent, broken whimpers of his name fell from your lips. both of your hands came to tangle themselves in his hair, rolling your hips against his face and practically suffocating him with your cunt as you rode out your orgasm.

once you had come down from your high, shin began stripping himself of his usual white t-shirt and jeans, and you watched as his gorgeous body was revealed to you in all of its entirety. you couldn't help but feel your thoughts of insecurity starting to resurface once again, overcome with the urge to hide yourself from him even after he had just been between your thighs. it didn't take long for shin to notice the way you suddenly began to shy away from him, and so he pulled you into another soft yet deep kiss, holding your face in his hands and gently caressing along your jaw as his lips moulded with yours.

after the two of you pulled apart, he briefly pressed his forehead against yours, his fingertips lightly brushing up and down your arm in a soothing manner, before his hands settled themselves on the backs of your thighs. he pushed your legs upwards and folded you in half, pressing his hardened cock against your pussy as he began to gently glide the head over your soaked folds, sliding the tip right against your sensitive clit. you cried out, your walls clenching around nothing as you clutched onto his shoulders, nails pressing crescent shapes into his skin.

“patience, sweetheart,” he whispered in your ear, taking your earlobe between his teeth and softly nibbling on the flesh.

you felt as the tip came to rest at your entrance before he carefully slipped himself inside of you, his thick cock stretching you out and filling you to the brim. he let out a low grunt as you clamped down on him, biting his lip as he stilled himself inside of you and buried his face into the crook of your neck.

“you're so beautiful, can't believe you're mine, my pretty girl,” he continued to murmur sweet praises against your skin, his hand interlocking with yours as he began thrusting into you.

“shin, i— mmmh! ahhh, please—!” you mewled, indistinct babbles and whimpers falling uncontrollably from your lips at the feeling of every inch of his cock dragging slowly against your walls.

“i know, baby, i know. just— fuuuck, just sit back and let me make you feel good, okay?”

it was all too much, but in the best possible way. everything just felt so right, from the feeling of his chest pressing against yours to the way he meticulously worked his hips into you at the perfect angle. a sweet slapping sound began to fill the room, alongside the combination of his needy groans and whines about how good you felt in your ear, mixed with your sobs of pleasure at the feeling of his pubic bone brushing against your clit. shin looked at you with so much love, like you were the most beautiful thing he had ever laid eyes on — it made tears start to well up in your eyes, but this time they weren't from sadness.

in that moment you just felt so appreciated, to the point where all of your insecurities and self-critical thoughts momentarily left your mind as you completely lost yourself in pleasure, unable to think of anything else aside from how good it all felt. your boyfriend’s thumb came to wipe your tears away before his lips locked with yours, the pair of you moaning desperately into each other’s mouths as his thrusts picked up in pace, the tip of his cock kissing your cervix as he fucked you deep.

shin was reluctant to break the kiss, addicted to the feeling of your lips against his in combination with your walls squeezing around his cock. however, the way his lungs were practically begging for oxygen didn't give him much choice in the matter, and he found himself gasping for breath as he pulled away, his eyes squeezed shut as his brows furrowed in pleasure. you reached upwards to hold his face in your hand, the other refusing to let go of his own as you interlaced your fingers together. shin leaned down to press his forehead against yours as his hips began to stutter, his pace faltering as he felt himself drawing closer to his own release.

“fuck— baby, m’gonna cum. gonna cum deep inside this pretty fuckin’ pussy,” he growled, feeling as your walls clamped down on him at his words, “yeah, you like that? want me to cream inside this tight little cunt? fill you up nice and full?”

“mhm, yes please— ahhh! want your cum, shin, please don't stop, i— mmh, need to feel you…”

“that's my good girl. take it, take it— fuck, that’s it, baby. such a good girl for me.”

he finished with a few sloppy thrusts, burying his face into the crook of your neck as he fell over the edge, his hot cum shooting into you in several thick ropes. you could feel your clit throbbing as you clenched around him, the heat between your thighs continuing to grow as you watched shin ride out his orgasm.

his cock began to soften as he gently slipped himself out of you, watching intently as his cum dribbled out of your hole. he was well aware that he had reached his high before you did, eager to get you off again and bring you to another orgasm — tonight was supposed to be about you, after all. before you could oppose, he sat you at the edge of the bed with you in his lap, facing you towards the mirror so that you could look at yourself.

“wanna make you cum on my fingers, baby,” he mumbled into your ear, spreading your legs apart as his hand made its way between your thighs, “want you to see how pretty you are when you cum nice and hard for me.”

two of his digits circled your entrance before he slowly pushed them inside, taking note of how easily they slipped into you after having previously stretched you out with his cock. he began curling them upwards, softly massaging your g-spot while his other hand came to caress your waist, travelling down towards your hip and then back up again. shin placed several kisses along your neck before his hand suddenly picked up in pace, the heel of his palm smacking against your clit as his fingers pumped in and out of you and a wet sticky sound proceeded to fill the room.

“look at you, so fucking gorgeous,” he told you, looking at you through the reflection in complete awe as his hand began roaming across your body, “so perfect here… and here… and right here, too.”

the more you stared at your own reflection, the more different you felt from earlier. your eyes no longer seemed to gravitate towards everything that you thought was wrong with you, and it was as if you were just simply seeing yourself as you were in that present moment, just existing within your body. you couldn't take your eyes off the mirror and suddenly you found yourself wanting to watch — wanting to watch him touch you, wanting to watch his hands trail over every part of your body, wanting to watch yourself fall apart because of him.

you wanted shin to watch too, how could you not when his eyes showed nothing but love and adoration for you and your body?

you could feel your legs beginning to shake and you found yourself frantically bucking your hips into his hand, your orgasm rapidly approaching as you grabbed onto his wrist and abruptly fell over the edge once again. you began gasping and whimpering as your vision turned white and you creamed all over his fingers, and shin watched your reflection in admiration as you came down from your high — the only thing he could think was how beautiful you looked in that moment as you completely let go, your eyes rolling back as you were consumed by pleasure.

once you had fully rode out your orgasm, shin gently removed his fingers from you, the two of you sitting in a peaceful silence knowing that words didn't need to be exchanged right away and you could just enjoy one another’s presence for a moment. he wrapped his arms around your waist, resting his head on your shoulder as his lips brushed against your skin.

“are you feeling a little better now, sweetheart?” he asked you, finally breaking the silence.

“mhm, definitely,” you nodded, feeling yourself starting to smile, “thank you, shin.”

while you were aware that this feeling wasn't going to be permanent, and that there would still be days to come in the future where you would feel unsatisfied with your body again, you knew that if nothing else, your sweet boyfriend would always be there to help you slowly start to love yourself a little more.

“i should take a shower,” he pondered, unable to stop himself from grinning as he added, “care to join me?”

you rolled your eyes, trying to fight back a smile but ultimately failing as your expression mirrored his own and you nodded, feeling as he excitedly took your hand and led you towards the bathroom. the two of you stepped into the shower, the warm water running over your tired bodies as you helped wash away the sweat and cum from each other’s skin. as to be expected, you both found yourselves unable to keep your hands off each other, and one thing slowly led to another which ultimately resulted in the two of you fooling around once again, not that either of you were complaining.

and afterwards shin pulled you into his chest and just held you, wrapping his arms around your waist as he mumbled soft praises into your skin that were barely loud enough for you to hear. although there was one which you were just about able to make sense of, and you felt your heart flutter as you realised what it was that he had said to you.

“i love the way your body feels against mine.”

please do not translate, repost, or share my writing on any other platforms eg. tiktok

#tokyo revengers #tokyo revengers x reader #shinichiro sano #shinichiro x reader #shinichiro x you #✩444.writings #✩444.fics

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narnian-neverlander · 1 year

Text

In Whatever Way [Adam Warlock x GN!Reader]

Plot Summary: When he unknowingly tests your patience, you snap at Adam and say something you immediately regret.

Word Count: 5,1k

Warnings: Guardians 3 spoilers, talk about canon typical violence, cursing, slight injury & mention of blood, bit of angst, hurt & comfort, idiots in love, author being a sucker for the ‘oh. oh.’ moment of realization trope

A/N: Kind of a follow up to this one, but can absolutely be read as a stand alone

I have exactly one complaint and that’s Adam not having Will’s freckles (for obvious bodypaint reasons), so I went ahead and fixed that 💁

If someone had told you a year ago that a Sovereign would become your favorite person in the galaxy, you would’ve laughed in their face and then put a bullet in between their eyes for good measure. But life’s got a twisted sense of humor sometimes.

That first night after the defeat of the High Evolutionary, it’d been way too messy and hectic to find Adam a place of his own, so you’d dropped him off at your tiny apartment, very specifically told him to stay put and to not touch anything, and then headed out again in search of food and some clothes. You’d found those, but alongside them, you’d also found the furry F’Saki Adam had basically adopted. He’d looked about as lost as his owner, so you’d tucked the little guy under your arm and had taken him with you. Arriving back at your home, you’d discovered Adam curled up on your bed, fast asleep. The F’Saki had immediately scurried out from your grasp, made himself comfortable at Adam’s legs and had started snoring almost right after. You’d stood in the middle of your room, still in your dirty, torn uniform and bone tired, a young Sovereign and his pet passed out on your bed and had actually stopped to wonder how on earth your life had gotten to that point.

Not seeing a reason for staying any longer, you’d decided you might as well go out and get blissfully blackout drunk with your friends. Leaving a note with the change of clothes and food, you’d turned towards the entrance to find Nebula standing in your doorway. She’d scanned the situation she’d walked in on very carefully and then had simply raised slender, judgmental brows at you. You’d shooed her out, gently closing the door behind you, and had reminded her that ‘Adopting strays that’ve tried to kill us is kinda our thing; didn’t think I’d need to tell you of all people.’

Ever since that night, Adam had been virtually glued to your side. It’d been a bit strange and uncomfortable at first; you weren’t used to always having company, much less that of a Sovereign. There’d most definitely been an adjustment period with quite a few mishaps, one of which had ended with him in the med-bay with a bloody nose after he’d scared the ever living daylights out of you while you’d been testing the upgrades Rocket had made to your gauntlets - you’d apologized profusely for the rest of that day. Over time though, it had become apparent that he meant you no harm, nor did he have any ill will, he simply wished to repay the kindness you’d shown him when he’d felt he had no one looking out for him anymore.

And despite the fact that his golden skin and hair, his engineered-to-be-perfect face and body and his manner of speaking reminded you of his heritage everyday, you’d found it increasingly easy to ignore the fact that he was part of the species responsible for so much pain in your life. Of course, it wouldn’t be fair to hold him accountable for actions committed by his people long before he was even born. But it wasn’t just that, Adam was simply… different from the rest of the Sovereign. He might’ve been created to be perfect, but he was far from it: He was only just understanding his own limits, landing him in situations that had him in over his head more often than not. He could be arrogant and quick to anger over the smallest details. He only liked learning things if they came to him easy, but grumpily and quickly dropped the ones that didn’t. But there was always an underlying innocent curiosity and kindness in his actions; in the way he’d so effortlessly bonded with the rescued animals he was now taking care of. In the way he always immediately offered assistance, no matter how menial the task. In the way he’d taken such an interest in any and all earth things, simply because they held special meaning to you. In the few months since he’d come into your life, he’d captivated you so completely, had gotten you to care for him so deeply and truly, it even shocked yourself at times still. But you wouldn’t have it any other way.

There is however still one topic of conversation that never seems to get easier and that’s his late mother, Ayesha. High priestess and figurehead of the crusade against your kind; all because of shapeshifting abilities you never even asked for. You’re very well aware of the fact that, before he became a part of the Guardians, she was the only family Adam had. That he’d cared for her very much, he still does, it’s obvious in the way he talks about her. And usually you let him talk, for his sake; to let him grieve by sharing stories about the loved one he lost. But today’s been exhausting, to say the least. You’ve been up since the crack of dawn and nothing seems to work out the way it’s supposed to. At the moment, you’re down somewhere in the bowels of Knowhere, courtesy of a broken filtration system. And since your resident genius raccoon mechanic is off world with Groot and you aren’t half bad with machines, the honor of trying to fix it had gone to you. You’d been down there for hours now, though, and aren’t making any real progress. Adam had joined you a little while back, and while you usually welcome his company, he’s picked a particularly bad day to select his mother as a topic of conversation. Your nerves are frayed, your patience running thin, but you hold your tongue, choosing to only answer in occasional hums of acknowledgement to confirm that you’re listening. That works out just fine right up until the moment he says “You remind of her, actually.”

The wrench you’re currently using almost slips from your sweaty palms as you bristle and hiss “Don’t ever say that again.” His answer is immediate and while you’re not looking at him, you can hear the genuine confusion in his voice. “Why not? It’s the truth.” The more rational part of you knows he means it as a compliment - but that part seems to have taken the day off. You swallow the rising bile in your throat before you reply with “I am nothing like that vile woman. Don’t compare me to her again, do you understand?” You’ve quite obviously hit a nerve, as you hear him rise from his seated position on some debris and when he speaks again the confusion in his voice has given way to anger. “My mother was not vile, take that back!”

You mumble “Maybe not to you…” more to yourself than anything else as you busy yourself with the repairs, absolutely not in the mood for this conversation, but he hears anyways. “I don’t care what you might think of her; she loved me!” A bark of laughter escapes you before you can stop it, bitter and cruel. “Please, maybe she loved what you were supposed to be; the ultimate weapon, the next step in their precious perfect evolution, but you failed that spectacularly. And even that’s pushing it!” The bolt you’ve been trying to loosen seems to have gotten stuck even worse as you aggressively throw your whole weight down on the wrench’s handle, any and all social courtesies you’ve kept up around Adam in regards to this particular topic going right out the window. “But don’t take that personally; Sovereign just aren’t capable of love, it’s as simple as - FUCK!!” The bolt finally gives way, sending you face first into one of the pipes of the machinery. Pulling back with a pained hiss, you bring a hand to your throbbing forehead and let out a few more curses when it comes away bloody.

Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out. Two deep, slow breaths it takes for you to calm down. It takes two more for realization to hit and the regret that comes with it threatens to choke you on the spot. Adam’s gone deathly quiet and you’d honestly prefer if he lost his temper with you; that you could handle at least. You’re terrified of what you’ll find when you turn around, so you do so slowly and immediately wish you hadn’t at all.

Adam’s an awful liar; he wears his heart on his sleeve and his emotions always plain on his face for everyone to read. And right now? Even on that first night, when he’d been injured, scared and all alone, you don’t think he’d looked so completely and utterly heartbroken. His name has barely left your lips in a desperate plea when he turns and takes off, the golden glow of his powers vanishing around a corner and completely out of sight not a second later. There’s no point in going after him right now, you know that, he’s stubborn, especially when he’s upset - not that that helps you feel better about yourself in any capacity; you well and truly want to throw yourself out of the nearest airlock. With a heavy sigh, you pick up the discarded wrench from the floor, deciding to give the young Sovereign some space and quickly, haphazardly finish with your work instead.

By the time you leave the med-bay, a bandaid now covering the wound on your forehead, it’s been a good hour or two, so you make your way to Adam’s apartment, hesitantly knocking on the door. When there’s no answer, you peek through one of the small windows, but the room is empty except for Blurp curled up on the bed, snoring contently. You check the cantina next, then the complex where the animals had been set up. You check in with Kraglin and Cosmo, Drax and Phyla, and basically any residents of Knowhere that you come across - no one has seen the golden man since he went off to help you. Your search eventually brings you to the spaceport, where you find the Bowie freshly docked, Groot carrying crates down the loading ramp, Rocket on his shoulders. Considering you were running out of places to check that were actually on Knowhere and Adam didn’t need oxygen like the rest of you, you figure you might as well ask if they’d seen him somewhere in the general vicinity of the giant head while coming back.

“Rocket, have you seen Adam?” the question’s out of your mouth before you’ve even properly reached them and your furry friend doesn’t bother to look up from the data pad he’s studying as he scoffs “Nice to see you, too, (y/n). Yeah, me and Groot are fine, mission went great, thanks for asking; always touching to come home to such a warm welcome.” Mumbling out an apology you only half mean, you cross your arms over your chest and look at him expectantly. When he realizes you’re not gonna go away, he hooks the pad to his belt with a groan and looks at you, one elbow propped up against Groot’s head. “How the flarg would I know? Goldie’s attached to your hip, not mine.” You don’t wanna have to get into details right now, so you settle for “Usually, sure. But I messed up, he ran off and now I can’t find him.” Rocket snorts, clearly not buying it. “The guy looks at you like you hung the friggin’ stars in the sky, what could you of all people have possibly done to piss him off that bad?” Drawing your bottom lip between your teeth, you avoid eye contact with him and busy yourself with a loose thread on your shirt instead. Details it is after all. “I… might’ve insulted his mother and told him I don’t believe Sovereign are capable of love.” The quiet lasts for all of half a second before Rocket starts cackling so hard, he goes tumbling off of Groot’s shoulders and ends up on the ground; clutching his stomach he’s almost howling in laughter and it makes heat shoot up to your face in both embarrassment and anger as you stomp your foot like a child throwing a tantrum. “Rocket this isn’t funny!!”

The raccoon struggles to his feet, one paw still on his knee as the other wipes at his eyes. “You’re right; it’s not. It’s hysterical! I mean… if that’s how you talk to a guy you’re actually into, I’d hate to see how you treat the ones you don’t like.” Brows furrowing in bewilderment, the complete change of topic makes you fumble for a moment as you ask “What… what the hell is that supposed to mean?” All traces of amusement vanish from Rocket’s face, jaw going slack as he stares at you and realizes you’re serious. He lets out a low whistle before he states “Wow. And here I thought the golden boy was clueless. At least he’s got some excuse, he ain’t been around the galaxy for all that long, but you? You can’t be for real.” You’re very quickly growing very tired of this conversation, so with a huff, you throw your hands up in exasperation. “Rocket, are you gonna stand here and give me riddles for the rest of the day or are you gonna help me?” Said help comes from the tree that’s been busy unloading the ship up until now. “I am Groot.” Your head snaps towards your teammate at the insinuation. “What tracker?” Now it’s Rocket’s turn to look embarrassed, a disappointed sigh and a long, drawn out version of his name leaving your lips. “I thought we talked about this ages ago; you can’t go putting trackers on people without their consent!” He doesn’t seem all that bothered by your outburst as he mocks “Oh boo hoo, y’all constantly whine about that right up until the moment it benefits you - like right now!” But he goes digging through one of the pockets on his belt anyway and holds out the small device he finds to you. Your anger more or less evaporates as you are yet again reminded that Rocket does care, in his own way. You kneel down to his level, take the tracker and give him a hug as you thank him - and just for good measure, press a long, disgusting kiss to his furry cheek as payback for laughing at your predicament. He scrambles out of your hold in obvious discomfort, gagging noises accompanying you as you take your leave, but as usual, he needs to have the last word, shouting “Save the smooches for Goldilocks!!” at your retreating figure.

Not even ten minutes later, you’re looking up at one of the tallest buildings in Knowhere. It’s an old, dilapidated communications tower that is long overdue for demolition; it’s all rusted metal and broken off, jagged edges, entirely impossible to climb without flight capabilities. Out of options, you helplessly check the tracker once more just to make sure that, yes, unfortunately he’s really up there, Rocket’s tech could be trusted on that and squinting up at the top you’re almost sure you see a glimmer of gold. You pocket the device with a shaky inhale and cup your hands around your mouth. “Adam!” you shout, even though you don’t really need to; he’s got enhanced senses, you’re certain he’d be able to hear you even if you whispered. “Adam, I know you’re up there, can you please come down?” Five seconds pass. Then ten. Then thirty. Nothing. “Listen, I know I messed up and I know you’re upset, but this isn’t gonna just go away, we need to talk about it!” A full minute of silence passes this time, dread and anxiety weighing down your shoulders more and more with each second that ticks by. When you speak again, you’re worried about your voice breaking, so it does come out as a whisper this time. “Adam, please. At least give me a chance to fix this.” Head hung low, you run both hands through your hair and over your face with an annoyed groan, upset with both his stubbornness and with yourself for having caused this mess in the first place. Thinking your attempt at a conciliation lost, you turn to leave and almost fall flat on your ass in shock when you find Adam standing there, arms crossed over his chest and glaring at you. “I do not wish to speak with you.”

“And you don’t have to, you just… have to listen for a moment, alright?” It takes him a few long, agonizing seconds to begrudgingly nod and you let out a relieved breath. Despite the hours you’d just spent searching for him, carefully laying out what you wanted to say, you’re drawing a blank at this very moment, but you try anyways. “Okay, look… I’m sorry about what I said earlier, I truly am.” When he scoffs in disbelief you reach for his hand, only to have him pull away, making your heart sink. Ever since he’d started experiencing things for himself and figuring out his likes and dislikes, it’d become clear quite quickly that Adam enjoyed physical affection, especially when you were the one to initiate it. He’d never turned it down - until now. How badly had you messed up?

“I mean that, Adam. It’s just that… I know Ayesha was your family and you miss her, but the person you knew her to be and the person I knew her to be are… quite contrasting. And I honestly don’t think there’s a way for me to reconcile both views with each other. I’ve let you talk about her because it seemed to make you happy, but you have to understand that it’s hard for me to hear praises about a person who was directly responsible for so much suffering and pain in my life. However, I also know that my experiences and rage… blind me, to a certain degree; lumping together all Sovereign isn’t fair, cause everybody’s their own person and can make their own choices, you’ve proven that.”

You can see the gears turning in his head, but he stays quiet and avoids looking at you all the same. You swallow hard around the lump that’s formed in your throat before you continue speaking. “Be that as it may, I also want you to know that you don’t have to accept my apology if you don’t want to.” His eyes are on you in a second and the hopeful tone in his voice when he says ‘I don’t?’ threatens to split your heart in two. “No, you don’t. I’m apologizing because it’s the right thing to do and because I feel absolutely awful about having hurt someone I care so much about. But if you feel that I’ve crossed a line, then…” Clearing your throat to keep your voice from breaking, you feel tears burning behind your eyes. “Then you’re under no obligation to accept it for my sake and I’ll have to live with that. I’ll give you some time to think about it.” Brushing past him, calls of your name fall on deaf ears as you leave, considering that’s just about all the emotional toll you’ll be able to take today.

A pillow tightly clutched to your chest, you’re curled up in bed not much later, tears still fresh on your cheeks. Honestly, you’re not sure why exactly you’re even crying. Because you’re sad at the prospect of having lost a friend? Because, despite of what you said, you wish he’d been less stubborn and just accepted your apology? Because you’re frustrated with yourself over how close you’d allowed the two of you to grow in the first place? It really doesn’t make sense to you. It had taken years for the rest of the Guardians to chip away at the walls you’d built around yourself so that they could squeeze inside, but Adam? A few months was all it had taken for him to get under your skin. For you to look forward to spending time with him everyday. For his laugh to become your favorite sound. For —

Your train of thought gets stopped dead in it’s tracks by a soft knock on your door, immediately followed by the scratching of tiny claws and an all too familiar whine. Wiping your palms over your eyes to get rid of the rest of the wetness staining your face, you scramble out of bed and make your way towards the entrance of your apartment. As expected, you find Adam and Blurp on the other side, the F’Saki slipping inside like he owns the place as soon as he’s able. He makes himself comfortable on the foot of your bed and looks at both of you expectantly, all bright eyes and perked ears. A setup like this normally means movie night, a little tradition you’d started to help Adam get a hold on as many customs as possible while still having fun and not actually throwing him into social interactions that would make everybody involved uncomfortable. For all intents and purposes, with the dim lighting in your room, the messy bed and Adam on your doorstep in his usual sleeping getup of sweatpants and a tank top, it does look like that’s what’s about to happen, you can’t blame the little guy for misinterpreting. Dragging your gaze back to the golden man at your doorstep, you’re surprised to find he doesn’t look half as exhausted as you feel. Matter of fact, this is the calmest and most determined you’ve seen him all day.

“May I come in?” You step aside to let him, gently closing the door behind you both with a quiet click. “I’ve thought about what you told me earlier and I think I’ve come to a conclusion on what I must do.” Dreading what comes out of his mouth next, you can’t seem to muster up the strength to look at him and keep your eyes downcast, only for his hands to enter your field of view and grab hold of your own. “I need to apologize to you.” Your head snaps up to find that he’s completely serious and barely manage to stutter out an incredibly intelligent ‘Huh?’

Adam lightly squeezes your hands when he continues. “Up until you pointed it out, it never occurred to me how the topic of my mother, my people might make you feel. Unintentional or not, my actions hurt someone I care about and I don’t like how it makes me feel. Apologizing is what I should do in that case, correct?” You wrangle with yourself for a second, but then squeeze back gratefully. “Yes, that’s right, and I’m thankful that’s the conclusion you came to, but… Adam, you couldn’t have known. I never said anything about it, instead I let my negative emotions fester and grow until I couldn’t take it anymore and it all came out in the worst way possible. If anything, we’re both a little to blame for this.” Pausing to take a deep breath, you continue with the question you really want answered, even though you’ve got a pretty good idea already. “So… does that mean we’re okay? You’re not upset with me and want me out of your life?” You watch his eyes grow wide in shock and his hands move up to your shoulders to settle there with a firm grip. “Is that what you were afraid of? Why you’ve been crying?” Shrugging as best as you can, you mumble “Kind of? You seemed so angry with me, I just thought I’d crossed a line there was no coming back from and it made me sad, so—“ The sentence stays unfinished as Adam envelops you in a bone crushing hug, even lifting you off the ground a little.

“(y/n), you’re the best thing that’s happened to me since I came into this world and I don’t even want to think about what my life would be like without you in it.” he says, face buried in the crook of your neck and you’re glad for it as you feel heat rising all the way to the top of your ears. Hugging him back just as tight, you reply “I don’t want to think about my life without you in it anymore, either.” Content just being in each other’s arms, you stay like that for a bit, until he breaks the comfortable silence with a quiet call of your name as he carefully puts you back on your feet, to which you respond with a hum of acknowledgment. “Do you really think me incapable of love?” And just like that, the feeling of wanting to throw yourself out an airlock returns; frantically stringing together the word ‘No!’ about ten times as you pull back to properly look at him. “No, of course I don’t, that was just… When people are angry, they’ll sometimes say and do things they don’t actually mean. But I swear I don’t think that about you, how could I? You’re proving the opposite every day.”

“I am?” he questions, brows furrowed, confusion and doubt clear as day and you can’t help but laugh softly as you go to cup his handsome face between your palms. “Oh my sweet Adam, do you really not see it?” Bringing his own hands to lightly hold your wrists, he sighs. “I wasn’t created to love. I was created to kill. To destroy. To bring pain and misery. So when you said that, I was… I am scared you might be right.” Gently running your thumbs over his cheeks, you simply look at your golden boy for a mere moment. The last rays of the artificial sunlight filtering in through your blinds cast him in a beautiful glow; eyes warm like honey, skin glittering like stars and the pattern of slightly darker golden, coppery spots over his nose and cheeks, an imperfection akin to freckles you’re still surprised they let him keep, all the more prominent. Of course he’s capable of love, he has to be. Surely, you wouldn’t fall for someone who wouldn’t be able to—

Oh.

So that’s what that prick of a raccoon had been talking about. With the benefit of hindsight, it honestly baffles you it had taken this long for the other shoe to drop. Adam calling your name is what kicks your brain back into functioning after that epiphany; you blink and shake your head a little before responding. “Sorry, I was just… never mind. Do you… do you really not see how your everyday actions show love?” His eyes flick between yours as he considers your words and then settles on “I’m… not entirely certain what love is supposed to look or feel like.”

“Oh dear, uhm…” you’re unsure if you’ll be able to explain that to him properly, but you’ll be damned if you don’t at least try. “Well… there’s many different forms of love. All similar, but slightly different in some ways. But overall it’s… to deeply care for another being, I guess? When being with them brings you joy? When you want to see them safe and happy? And even though you might wish for that happiness to be with you, it’ll be fine if it’s not cause they matter more to you than yourself.” Your hands have wandered to the base of his neck, fingers buried in the short hair as he cocks his head to the side in thought. “Like you and the rest of the Guardians let Peter Quill and Mantis go on their own paths even though it made you sad to see them go?” Grinning, you nod in confirmation. “Exactly. And the way you took it upon yourself to take care of the animals we saved? The way you adopted Blurp, in spite of what your mother wanted, cause you felt he was sad and lonely? How you went out of your way to make sure I felt comfortable around you? All of that means you care. All of that are ways of showing love.” It’s obvious he’s trying real hard to comprehend everything you’ve just explained to him, but it a lot, so you continue with “Love is one of the most simple and basic emotions in most beings. But navigating it and differentiating between it’s different forms can be difficult - for everyone. There’s no rush though, you can take all the time in the world to figure it all out for yourself. I promise you have nothing to worry about, you’re perfectly fine, okay?”

Adam brings one of his hands from your waist up to cup your cheek and smiles when you lean into his touch. This is what he’d been trying to tell you earlier, when he’d compared you to his mother: He trusts you completely, your judgement, too. You make him feel at peace like no one else in the universe. “Okay.” he replies and you return his smile, just barely containing the urge to pepper kisses over his pretty face and -

Yeah you’re gonna have to deal with this particular mess of emotions sooner rather than later.

The tender moment gets interrupted by Blurp whining at you two, impatiently hopping from one paw to another on the foot of your bed. “It would appear Blurp insists on a movie night. If you feel like it?” you chuckle and Adam happily agrees. So you set up everything as usual and settle on a lighthearted family comedy to watch. But the day’s been long, exhausting and emotionally draining; try as you might your eyes keep drifting shut and you’re out cold ten minutes into the movie.

The golden man jumps a bit when there’s a slight thump against his shoulder, only to find you fast asleep. His focus now on you instead of the movie, tender fingers ghosting over the bandaid on your forehead in concern, he thinks about what you’ve just told him. About what love was supposed to feel like and it dawns on him that yes, the warmth that spreads through his chest all the way down to his feet when you do as little as smile at him must be love. And yet when he’s with you it’s… different from what it felt like to be with his mother or to be with Blurp or the rest of the Guardians. It irks him to not be able to properly discern what makes you special; you’d said there were different forms of love, but how was he supposed to understand the difference?

As you curl into his side more, one arm coming across his chest to hug him and his name subconsciously falling from your lips in a barely audible, sleepy mumble, he realizes it doesn’t matter, nor does he really care, at least not right this moment. For now, it’s enough for him to be certain of the fact that he loves you and you love him - in whatever way.

#adam warlock x reader #adam warlock x you #gn reader #adam warlock #gotg vol 3 #adam warlock fluff #idiots in love #angst #hurt/comfort #guardians of the galaxy #mcu #will poulter #my writing

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