#ok anyway. one year huh
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OH MY GOD A YEAR AGO TODAY .
#thats literally insane what do you mean that crazy day was last year. oh boy ok hastily thought up recap thought time#what that day included:#stupidly going out into july in los angeles heat that morning in jeans and a long sleeve black shirt#in that state of extreme sweatiness: meeting john l of tmbg fame. who id be seeing in concert that exact night#an insane story i have told before but nonetheless incredibly bonkers#later that day when i went out again i (also stupidly) wore sandals that cut up the back of my heels#i toughed it out later and put socks on and the russell brand of cdg high tops on and danced at the concert anyway#wore a full gold glitter suit. was still worried about being unnoticeable#i was too scareddddddd to talk to christi who i saw hanging around before the show which i regret#the best part of the concert and that trip to california was seeing it with my best friend who i finally met in person for that trip#he was dressed as ron and i of course was russ in the glitter suit. my hair did not turn out as magically russ as desired#what else. i was too ough before the concert to eat my combination lunch dinner of panda express something#but i did get overpriced fancy crackers and rosé at the hbowl which was my sparks dinner#ok now let me get to the show itself. i did a review the night of but lets see if there are any details i forgot that i can remember now#like right at the beginning of so may we start there was the audible sound of a glass breaking so awesome. someone was ready to get down#russell getting choked up talking abt their mom taking them to the hollywood bowl as kids i haven't stopped crying#oh yeah all the stupid people in the pool circle (front seats) who didn't care about seeing sparks. youre all going to hell#especially the people that left before the show ended#russell achieved some maximum awooga levels but i may have been picking up on those especially because of the rosé#russell saying to the audience in between singing all that how beautiful it looked with everyone turning the light on their phones#another thing i havent stopped crying over#also got a fun bootleg shirt specific to that show when walking back to the hotel. thank you slightly sketchy guy#that whole night and everything was bonkers insane and wonderful can i Please relive it now. please#like literally this time last year adjusting for time zone i was uhhhhh. probably injuring myself in those stupid sandals#and id do it again! well maybe not but id relive that day again#ok anyway. one year huh
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zonked out on the dog bed snoring up a storm. you come over and rub the soft spot on the top of my nose. i let out the most contented sigh
#blllllaggggh busiest doggy everyday of my life and i am exhausted#ye beware of sadposting ahead. more like just need to get thoughts out of my headposting yk. im ok just tired#friend said to me today 'youre always doing something these days jasper when do you rest?'#and i was like huh good question! i dont hahaha. damn#which is not a bad thing always. but my plate is incredibly full and i have no one to help me#im in a really good place. things are happening that ive wanted to happen for years. but i have no time to take care of me#and the ppl who are supposed to take care of me dont. and they let me down everytime i try to ask for it. which im used to#but it doesnt make it any easier. theres just not enough hours in the day and not enough energy in my little doggy body#i used to be able to push myself past the wall of exhaustion. but after my therapy program ik i just can not do that anymore#im really proud of myself. being an adult is hard. im doing everything right. but i just wish i had someone by my side to help me#anyways.#i am a very good boy#yapping#if youre reading this hi im just venting im fine. its just been a long day and i want someone to give me a head massage#jasperbarks
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Can you tell us your the reasons for why you like Papyrus? (I’m sure you’ve did this before xd, but I always enjoyed rambles about Papyrus. Hope you’re well!)
oh it is 100% his whole loneliness thing. growing up i was a chronic friend group hopper all the way from kindergarten to 8th grade and then by high school that didn't work anymore so i just kinda didn't have any genuine friends for basically that entire 4 years. so hyperfixating so hard on a character who's basically completely centered around that struggle helped me feel a bit less hopeless about it. the funny thing is i think pre-undertale papyrus actually had more friends than i did back then but like its the little things
that's why this fic that i'm gonna plug again hit me so hard tbh. shit sucks when you're trying so so hard to be friendly and engage in other people and then you get to a point where you have to realize they're not at all interested in returning the favor, even if they're not overtly rude about it or anything, they just don't care to get to know you any deeper than surface level convenience and it gets real hard to not let yourself get angsty about it lmao
i do think that while sometimes i wish i hadn't been given such free internet access as a kid i'm still really lucky that i was able to be exposed to undertale when i was. it's such a unapologetically hopeful game that i'm sure it absolutely impacted the way that i think about things today in terms of optimism and the ability to turn bad situations around, and papyrus plays a huuuge part of that entire message. if it weren't for him, i'm honestly not sure if i would've had the drive to keep trying to connect with other people even when it didn't work for so long.
so tl;dr thank you funny little skeleton man for constantly reminding me that making friends is still possible even when your demeanor is frankly weird as fuck. sometimes you just gotta keep truckin until you find your people even if it takes a while
#trousled rambles#emphasis on rambles#ew this is sappy as hell who put this on my blog dont read this ewwwwwwwww#btw now that i'm in college i finally ended up with a group of friends who actually make me feel like they want me around regularly#so it really is possible i promise :> yeah i woulda liked if it happened sooner but i've never had this many friends before in my lifeee#that being said do u know how annoying it was to hear those fuckers thought i was cool in high school but were too scared to talk to me#i was wearing the same 3 black hoodies every day and used to have a keychain with enough charms that could probably be a weapon if needed#i was a LOSER just TALK TO MEEEE#i'm not gonna act like i was nearly as outgoing as papyrus bc i kept to myself a lot especially in my senior year#and that's because papyrus did not cure 12 years of social anxiety/isolation. but at least he helped me be less emo about it yknow#for a while i actually thought The Loneliness didnt effect me as bad as it did him but tbh i was just repressing that shit lmao#man when the 10 year undertale anniversary comes around we're all gonna be destroyed huh. it will definitely kill me#anyway thank u toby fox for showing 11y/o me that things could work out if i just didnt give up. also make papyus the knight pls ok byeee#oh edit one more thing i havent quiiite psychoanalyzed myself or her enough for me to be certain of this yet but#im pretty sure this is also why i am very drawn to susie in deltarune. lonely skeleton but a blunt teenage girl instead like okayyyy
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rip やつ you will always be famous (was written as 奴 in the major album’s tracklist)
#i wonder if they’ll change it back when the album actually drops though…#also congrats to minami for being the one and only idol series character to have all of his solo songs in the major album!!!!!!!#watashi no mikata turned into a *narumi* mona song (from her stagename of ‘mona’) what if i cried#no omoiai songs though huh~~~~~~~~ what a pity but i cant say it wasnt expected#rip to no romeo mvm though lmao looks like all the special vids we’re getting are the vomics + hiyori’s mini anime from album 3#i wonder if they’re gonna redub ken and uchida in the vomics… prolly not huh~~#the gen 1 and 2 vomics are so funny though y’all are in for a treat~~~~#i think it’d be nice if they bundled the manga volumes with the album… and if they’d include the gen 1 vol 0 manga with it#since it’s ancient history and all. y’know. i mean; i have the thing (thanks resellers ily) but i think more people should have access to it#sure p much everything in it’s retconned anyway (it takes place when gen 1 were 2nd year students for one) but it’s still really cute~~#but… hmmmmm… that ‘and more’ at the end of the album content listing though…. suspicious….#cmon hw it’s not too late to add minami’s live dances to the bonus disc!!!!!!!!!!!!!#show us bae love in 4k hd!!!!!!!!!!!!!#(ok um i have no idea where i was going with this but this is where we’ve ended up)#(anyways. uh. stay safe!!! good luck!!!!! and!!!!! good night!!!!!!!!)
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Bro I watched the this or that Smosh vid with the cheating question for the first time today
I’m actually fucking devastated about Keith, Angela, Amanda, and Olivia literally talking over and laughing at Damien for literally just saying you should hold your friends accountable
Like wtf do you mean he’s holding his standards too high????? For saying he’d hold cheaters accountable????? What????? You’re saying that if your friend told you they cheated you wouldn’t see them differently and want to hold them accountable????
Also Keith saying he has friends that have cheated and his response was “don’t do that. stay funky” bro what the hell do you mean?????
Idk why I keep getting attached to creators like I do bro I can’t keep going through this
Didn’t think it’d bother me this much but it actually really does idk
#smosh#smosh pit#damien haas#keith leak jr#amanda lehan canto#angela giarratana#olivia sui#random rant but wanted to post anyways#I know it was last year but I’m still gonna be sad idc#I can’t believe it brooooo#also Amanda and Olivia’s takes about the splitting bill one gave me an ick#broo I can’t keep doing this#I feel like their takes on the Reddit stories are usually good but then they say shit like this???#huh????#saw some comments bringing this up to#like it’s ok to want to hold strangers accountable but not ur own friends?????#ok ig#I’ve never really thought about the topic of cheating but when I do it boils my blood bro#if you’re in a committed relationship and you wanna have sex with someone else#fucking break up#it’s called a committed relationship for a reason#also cheating can be rlly dangerous#cause of stds and shit#I feel like that should be a no brainer but guess not💀💀💀
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Moral dilemma
#mo4#marikinonline4#marikin online 4#eclair mo4#eclair (the food)#fukurou mo4#don't kill me if this silly random art is somehow out of character ok#even though ive been into mo4 for like 2 years i have not even finished One playthrough. fake fan#i absorb my knowledge through mo4 tumblr and the (very barren) wiki#so sorry guys. im a fake fan#anyway i seen this ship around and thought huh. new yuri! yay!#so i drew it#someday ill post my other art... the hoards of aduzak and adubachi#fukuclair#forgot that tag#dove's drawings
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More end poem mugs :]
#my art#ceramics#3d art#clay#minecraft#end poem#artists on tumblr#mugs#cups#clay art#art#minecraft art#huh- glaze REALLY dosenet like these i guess. wow. they got crumpled.#im going to be nice this once and post the unglazed vershion of the art becuse you can not frekaen see the peices after glaze was done.#if any of you abuse this im going to just not be nice anymore when glaze eats my art and just give you the burnt art insteed.#do not test me#also the irl glaze i used the semester for these ALSO really didnt like my ceramics <3#the talc mine shut down and all of our glazes went to crap#anyways :/ this is going to be a theam in the ceramics this year. the only ones who turned out ok are the mushrooms that went#in the wood fire.#these are the same ceramic glazes i used on a diffrent one of my mugs but they have just changed so much from the dirty talc weve been#useing... the chun seafoam got hit the worst i think...
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the rory and logan break up but make it jily
#it makes sense in my head#and like#hear me out#ok so like we bring in the end of the revival#and lily finds out she's pregnant a few weeks after she says no to james' proposal#and she doesn't tell him about it because she doesn't know How#and then years later they see each other again#they're both with different people#and it's just like oh#not in a romantic way#i dont think they'd get back together#but like i've thought about sad james with harry we know this#and i've thought about james finding out years later after harry was born that he had a kid#and he just thinks it's his fault and his horrible mental health that made it so his relationship with his son is nonexistent#like it hurts#and i think about it a lot#anyway#im watching the last episode of gilmore girls now#and i dont normally have jily thoughts#but this one#idk i just was watching the scene and thought huh... jily
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I think it's time I change my bio to say it's been 11 years since I started to watch Ninjago.....
Gosh. Where's my senior discount on the lego sets, huh?
#I actually don't remember exactly when I picked up ninjago. I just know that it was april or may cause it was nearing the end of-#the school year#anyway this show feels like it's my best friend in all honesty. it's been with me for so long and at my loneliest#and to think that I've grown up alongside it. it's so weird#I have such a clear memory of like when just about anything happened for this show#s3 finale? I was sick but I still tuned into watch and CRIED#s5? I watched nearly every episode when it aired on cartoon network in my parents room cause my dad was using our other tv at that time#s8? watched it weekly in my grandparents basement and It Was A Ride#s11 finale? got to the episode at like. 6 am before I had to go to school and felt utterly disappointed there was no kai and zane fight#seabound? watched it weekly that one spring and IT WAS ALSO A RIDE#and that's not even touching the hours upon hours of fan works I've looked at#just. it's been such a long time. over a decade of my life that I've been attached to this show. and at the same time it feels like no-#time has passed at all#I actually first watched the show cause some classmates were talking about it and I wanted to be friends with someone so bad so I started-#to watch it and I Very Quickly surpassed their love of it#what a ride huh? now we're at a point where I can look this show and say it's genuinely good (THANK YOU DRAGONS RISING!!!!!!!!!!)#ok I'm done reminiscing. time to think about the newest scenarios in which to make kai suffer >:)#ninjago#phoenix prattles
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cant go on twitter cause every other post is shadow the hedgehog posting and if i see too much shadow the hedgehog posting im genuinely going to explode from excitement
#not rgg#snap chats#SO IM BOTHERING YOU ALL EVEN MORE NOW :) <- the implication i ever posted anything but art to twitter#i will be bothering you all the same amount as before#no more subposting about tweets i see this is so tragic i have to think for myself for once#no one understands how much i love shadow the hedgehog and how long ive waited for this year to be upon us#its so beautiful to see everyone finally accept shadow was cool all along i love being right from the ripe age of 7#anyway For My Cabinet listen i just need you guys to supply me the best memes from twitter until the game comes out alright#can i refer to my inbox as my cabinet. my council. my chat. its incredibly funny to do so#i mean what am i REAAAAALLLYYY missing from rgg twt huh ..... Insane Take Number 35 Of The Week ... ill live ...#ok bye im gonna act like there isnt a sea of sickass edgy shadow the hedgehog art on my tl right now
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Me: no really if you missed even one birth control pill you better double check you aren't pregnant.
#can you feel that thick rod begging for entrance#back and forth back and forth across your lips finding the perfect angle of entry#his adidas interfere but his cock is pre'ing let me in#🤔 honey we were never “just friends” it was always way more than that#her & her i like to turn you on baby#when heaven is out on the street with the heat of the the night#It's fine we fuck and I feel better#don't you feel like an owned object when anyone says the magical ownership of All Hallow's Eve though#like you just want to be owned and have attention paid to you#and I can give that to you....we can give that to you#emotional attachment to a chick version of myself? oh I could see that#like she will think my drug use was nothing in comparison I reckon#me: *nods* so she likes ice though huh....yeah I can see that being a thing#you have a few nieces I guess.... 🤔 well a few full ones anyway#a few who have way too much of the other half of us#she's like i smoke because I like it when i smoke#and I'm like oh ok yaaaaaas hypnotize me#when I click those videos I know what I am signing up for#just stare at you for a few minutes no words#yes please do say words to me though let's see how 27 years of hearing have done you.#well we both have the same life path number it's ridiculous to discuss between us#and she's like.....can i play with your 2 2#your destiny is facing and conquering that sexy fear of 7#mine is 7 children I guess*gulp.... fuck*#and two twins for her#his and mine#mine is a freak tho......#here I was in 2014 finally spilling my guts over what you had accused me of to her years ago#except it was like all lowkey and shit as far as the external world knew#...we knew tho.....we knew
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Me: omg i hate the german version of little shop of horrors
Also me: OMFG THERES ANOTHER LSHO PRODUCTION IN TOWN I MUST GO AUDITION IMMEDIATELY
#yessir#i got audrey#uh huh#that’s right#im a lead character#and i get to kiss#booya#(one of our seymour understudy’s is 30💀😭)#but that’s ok i dont mind TOO much#besides i can always call sick#not#because im not only understdying one but two roles#anyway#our main seymour is 19#(i think?)#so that’s fine#its a little weird to think he’s my older brothers age tho#but it’s definitely better than the 30 year old yk
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happy one year to her and one of my better opening lines for a fic <3
now, because i'm curious:
#to hell and back again#i genuinely can't believe it's a year but i guess that's how time works huh :')#anyway umm gonna leave some retrospective thoughts in the tags:#1. i hold this fic near to my heart but also have a very complicated relationship with it now-#mostly bc i feel like my writing has improved so much and it's hard for me to reread parts of this lol#2. i honestly feel like it's a product of its time? like i think if i was publishing it now people wouldn't like it nearly as much#(especially with the opening line wHICH HAS A POINT AND COMES FULL CIRCLE AT THE END OK JUST TRUST ME)#3. on a sadder note this also means it's been a year since we had to put my family's eldest dog down#i remember i was gonna post this first chapter later when i had finished another fic up#but then our dog just like. straight up started dying on my mom's bedroom floor#and my mom was too distressed/upset to take her to the vet so i had to put her in my car and take her on my own#and then had to go to work right after that#so yeah i was upset and was like 'well dammit im gonna post this then bc it's silly and makes me laugh and i am sad'#so yeah!! some thoughts and behind the scenes info for anyone who's bothered to read this many tags#idk these things just feel like Tags thoughts not Post thoughts#anyway thanks for all the love this one has gotten!! i'm glad people are still enjoying it though *will voice* it's been a year mike#byler
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biannual reminder that this event sure was a ✨thing✨
#(the two event remembrance dates are 14/3 and 11/11 btw~~~~)#it’s pocky day huh~~~~~~~~ well. more like sALES DAY YEAAYAYAYAYAYAAAAAA#man. i still can’t believe that the aiyuu pocky event was a thing. it was truly one of the greatest pieces of canon fanfics of all time#i wonder what the honeypre event story writers are doing with their lives these days…#i sincerely hope that they’re living their ✨best lives✨ and are still writing aiyuu fanfics in their spare time lmaoooooooooo#i want them to come back to write the lxl radio drama with them in ✨situations✨ tbh#(ok but guys what did you submit for the lxl situations?)#(my submissions were 1: they go on a lovey dovey date 2: they swap bodies one day 3: they go to the aquarium together)#(i saw some submissions on ft4twt which involved them having to deal with situations™️ w/ ft4. i hope those get picked ngl)#anyways manifesting white day kiss mv for next year leading up to the album release o k b y e—#shibaclown saturday#染BODY ONCE TOLD ME—
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I think if you are the sort of person with Big Feelings when it comes to a certain piece of media (or just in general) you may have a tendency to read every post someone makes - and even posts they simply reblog - and assume they also have Big Feelings about it. Assume they have some sort of... dark agenda, are attempting to stir up drama, however you wanna frame it. The truth is, a lot of the time, people post things with very little feeling, and sometimes without much thought.
#see: my post from earlier that seemed to make at least one person experience some Big Feelings#and also seemed to make at least one person jump to ALL SORTS of conclusions. all of which were pretty wild and off the mark.#like 1-6 people were really in my askbox talking about bj when he wasnt even the main thing i was talking about. red rag to a bull i guess#anyway once i post this I'll be back to the regularly programmed not having the time for this#also due to a fun new tumblr mobile glitch#where i cant seem to edit any og posts i make once i post em#i guess this will just be up and i wont be able to amend it. so i better stick with it huh.#basically just assume everything i post on here is posted with Little Feelings because this is a mash blog and i am 31 years of age.#ok now i need to tag this extensively so it shows up in every conceivable m/ash tag one sec...#(queuing this so I'll be asleep when it drops lmao)
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survived Badly (argh) but going to work on fic for as long as I continue to enjoy doing so then switch over -- see if I can find somewhere to watch The 400 Blows and probably cry forever and dehydrate and feel soooo sad and then feel better after. Thank you French New Wave
#boooo whatever saying nonsense nothing matters delete later#somebody should invent a proximity to your parents that doesn't immediately make you so emotionally weird forever#overdramatic. Im feeling fine im eating some crackers and lying around chilling. Just. Weird. Off Balance..#Mild Disturbance in my Year of Exceptional Emotional/Mental Chill#not gonna let it break my 2024 streak of feeling generally Pretty Freakin Good and mostly Recovered From The Lost Year#Which btw. can I say... have i said...? Genuinely having one of the nicest years of my life so far... feeling really pretty good#mfw having more control over your life + surroundings + choices + living circumstances means you can genuinely#meaningfully improve ur day-to-day lived experiences and find what works for u to keep u happy + healthy + excited about life... magic#anyway. brief Huh I Feel Kind Of Bad And Sad In A Deeper Way Kicked Off By But Unrelated To Events Of The Day moment earlier#really made me realize how exceptionally good I've had it so far this year... i think... it's possible... things Do Get Better#anyway. ok done Tag Blogging now. just hope everyone enjoys a nice treat or something. get good sleep enjoy ur time change if it applies#watch a movie or something. idk have fun guys have a good night
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