#I wonder where Willow ended up this time...
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mothgirl-number-4 · 17 hours ago
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[You're leading Beau through the House. He's been… Nice. Asked the questions you knew the answers to, at least.] [He asked you where you were from.] [You told him you forgot.] [You're in the House's garden now. He's been looking at all the various flowers, plaques with descriptions grabbing at his attention like a moth to a lamp. You sit on a bench, close enough to hear him rattling off the facts he's reading from the signs.] [He says he thinks signs are really important, but he doesn't know why. You talk to him about it, and he mentions the stars before freezing mid-speech.] [He starts rambling everything he can remember about stars, and you try to make sure he doesn't push himself too much. It's not enough, as he coughs up a speck of blood, but you use some healing craft (it hurts, but you don't care) and sit there with him.] [You tell him everything you can remember that he didn't already tell you, this time actually making sure nobody gets hurt.] [He asks about one of the stars names, Regulus.] [You can't tell him much, but he decides then and there that, as a symbol of being part of Vaugardian culture, he'll Change his name to Regulus.] [He says it feels right. You reply it feels nice to say.] [It's half-true. It's easier, at least.] [You spend the rest of the time trying to come up with better nicknames than Reg, which is harder than it really seems.] [You end up calling him Sunshine. It's only slightly ironic.] [You end up agreeing it'd be for the best if you stick together for the time.] [You feel a pit in your stomach as you acquire the Memory of Sunshine. You don't tell him about it.] [He picks one of the flowers, asking of course, and you choose one as well.] [He picks a willow, you pick a zinnia.]
[This is your last day.] [You'd berate whoever forgot to remind you, but you aren't going to make another clone of your past self over something so petty.] [You can't sleep.] [You stare up at the ceiling for the sixth time this week. It's starting to feel like the clocktower. You need to get out of here.] [You get up, passing Sunshine as you sneak through the halls.] [None of the Housemaidens are awake, but it's mostly habit at this point.] [You're in the garden again.] [You walk over to a comfortable-looking patch of grass, and lie down.] [You look up at the stars, alone.] [It's familiar, but different. Different is good.] [Your Sunshine told you that the open roof design was made so that the plants could get enough sunlight to grow, but that they put a tarp over it in winter so that snow won't get all over everything.] [The perfect amount of care so that you won't wither, and that you will grow.] [What a wonderful idea.] [You turn on cue to someone who isn't there. You say all the right things without anyone to hear them.] [It's not even your script and yet you still memorized every word.] [This isn't getting you anywhere.] [You move to a stump in the center of the garden. One of the Housemaidens told you it was enhanced by craft to grow and decay at higher speed than usual, a symbol of Change.] [It's not fast enough to bother you, at least.] [There's a neighboring stump, one crafted out of stone, made to never Change. A duality in eternal life and eternal death.] [You don't know whose bright idea it was to make the stone stump, considering it seems very contrary to Change, but you can appreciate the gall.] [Regulus walks in. He says he didn't know you were here.] [He wears his only other outfit, armor of darkless with lightless stars speckling here and there.] [Sitting on the parallel stump, he gazes up at the stars. You can see tears fall from his eyes.] [He is happy, and you're unsatisfied] [You're... Unsatisfied?]
"Which one is your favorite?" <"I don't have one, yet."> "I thought you might like the one you named yourself after." <"Not everything's in a name, guiding light."> "Is that your new nickname for me? How cute." <"I thought hard about it. Something to fit your one for me. ...Do you like it?"> "...Yeah. You're good at nicknames." <They look up to the stars alongside you. They seem deep in thought.> "I thought you were asleep." <"I was, I think. I thought the same of you."> "I take pride in my acting skills." <You do often catch them wearing a smile that doesn't belong on their face.> <"You are very good. I always preferred songwriting."> "Oh?" <"The rhythm that goes with the tune, the meter and rhyme, it's just enchanted me, I feel."> <"...I don't know how long this has been the case, but I know it to be true."> <They look jealous. They clearly haven't realized it, since the false smile hasn't taken its place, yet.> <They begin to hum a tune. It sounds like a comfortable place, a time of love. It sounds like children playing and birds singing. Then, they stop.> <You, in turn, hum your own tune. A Change hymn of ticking gears and twisting architecture. Of the nature of life and how it goes around and around. Then, you can't remember any more.> <You don't know how you feel about Change, but you are ever so grateful for its followers. You cannot deny it that these Houses are marvels of craft. You smile.> "I'm heading back to bed. You?" <"Yes, I feel I should as well. May I accompany you?"> <They give a bewildered look. Maybe they don't- > "But we'd be heading the same way anyway?" <Oh.> <"There are many paths to the same destination."> <After a moment's pause, they sigh and let you come along with them.> <You dream of weeping willows that cry and a great shadow overtaking your own. You will not remember these when you wake.>
[Your time is done. You're satisfied.]
[You couldn't take your role back, but that's his fault for leaving you alone. You're satisfied.]
[You're satisfied. You fade at last.]
...
[You feel a thread pulled to its limits. A fire burning hot hot hot and something breaking, failing, rotting. You gag on nothing as starlight beams out of your eyes and mouth.]
[The string pulls, choking you as you attempt to scream, but you have no mouth. You attempt to cry, but you have no eyes.]
[The thread snaps.]
[You feel a pulling in your head.]
[And you feel your heart..
p
o
p
]
[You wake up in a room. The first thing you take in is UNIMAGINABLE PAIN. You scream and scream and scream- there are footsteps. You hear the familiar sound of healing craft as the pain subsides the slightest bit. Not enough to be anywhere near comfortable, but you aren't screaming anymore.]
[You sit up, hands grasping at what you realize far too late are bedsheets. They rip in your hands, piercing craft chugging through your fingertips like the drip drip drip of blood.]
[You're already babbling apologies when]-
"Oh thank goodness you're awake, bright stranger."
[That voice. Not from the healer you don't recognize them but you turn to the neighboring bed- you're in an infirmary? -and see another stranger.]
[You recognize that accent but you don't recognize... Him?]
"[Who-]"
[You cough on your words- Vaugardian, Loop! Try again~]
[The familiar stranger looks at you with wonder.]
"Say- say that again, will you?"
"[What, 'who?']"
"No- what was that language?"
[You don't know.]
"[I don't know. Where am I?]"
[The familiar stranger- you're just going to call him the King, it's too similar to be a coincidence. You've never been lucky enough to even consider otherwise. -looks disappointed before lighting up again. His Vaugardian is rough, but understandable.]
"Ah! You're in the Bambouche house of change! Or uhm... The one closest to Bambouche I think... I couldn't really understand them the best."
[The King looks awkward. How could this pathetic whelp end up as the intimidating monster that killed- Blinding- He's speaking]
"They call me castaway, but I prefer Beau, he and him, please. What about you?"
[Oh this is hilarious. The Change god thinks its so blinding funny doesn't it. You're laughing. You're cackling and guffawing and]-
"[Siffrin, they/them, nice to meet you!]"
"Oh, like the savior?"
[What.]
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cherrymoonvol6 · 7 months ago
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#been thinking about the placement of the showdown between belos and the hexsquad happening in ep 1 instead of anywhere else#mainly for lunter reasons if that is ever not obvious#(aka for a lunter endgame it makes more sense to have the ending of TTT happen in the last episode because Stakes)#(hunter actually dies and flapjack's sacrifice is the conclusion of the evelyn/caleb backstory)#(and it's pretty hard to work hunter or anyone from the hexsquad into the final showdown otherwise)#this is where the show shoots itself in the foot by having luz and hunter's relationship be on like tier C of importance#because it IS emotionally charged to see belos exerting that kind of power into the kid he groomed one last time#it IS emotionally charged to see luz wrestle with her determination to defeat belos and her love for hunter#it IS emotionally charged to know that someone will die here and it may be one of the kids#whereas the battle at the end of WAD is barely a battle and just meant to be the bow on top of luz's development#if luz and hunter's relationship had been more central to the show then hunter facing belos is a given AND a good narrative choice#who else gets to kill belos but the person created in the likeness of the one that made belos reach such lows to begin with?#or at the very least have the other people close to luz have some history with belos or something#eda couldn't care less about belos. same for king. and don't even get me started on amity...............#this is just a hexsquad problem btw like what is willow's bearing in this. the track system works wonders for her#in theory her life with belos as emperor is as good as it will ever be#same thing with gus#it's just hunter! that's the important piece there!#this show is just. broken. it truly refuses to bring up any of the actually interesting characters#sorry this rambling doesn't have a point besides 'toh is dumb sometimes' which is a thing i often say anyways#but man...... besides luz's resolution there's nothing to the ending. nothing.
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a-little-revolution · 3 months ago
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It seems like you're a big fan of Warwick Davis, I was wondering if there are any other little people actors you really like, especially women and trans/nb actors?
Hello! Yes I do enjoy Warwick Davis! Willow (1988) remains one of my favourite LP films, and I've really enjoyed his career of fantastical characters.
Like a lot of industries, white men make up a lot of the most famous Little actors (Warwick Davis, Peter Dinklage, Danny Woodburn, Martin Klebba, Verne Troyer), so I'm happy to mention some of my favourites outside that group!
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Linda Hunt is a favourite of mine - she's a Hollywood veteran best known for her role in The Year of Living Dangerously (1982) where she was the first actor to win an academy award for playing someone of the opposite sex!! She's been on Broadway, done tv, film, and voice acting! You may know her as Lady Proxima in Solo: A Star Wars Story (2018).
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If you think you don't know Deep Roy, chances are you do! He's been a scale actor in countless award winning films including Star Wars (1980), Star Trek (2009-2016), The Never Ending Story (1984), Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (2005) and so many more! We owe so many beloved characters to scale actors and people hardly know it - Deep Roy has been responsible for dozens of them, I adore him.
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Despite Patty Maloney's vast career in acting, I know her as Lois Addams from The Addams Family (1991)! Before my time she was in a variety of tv shows and films including Star Trek Voyager (1996), Little House on the Prairie (1982), and The Lord of the Rings (1978).
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Cara Mailey is a young actress, author, presenter and activist! She's known for her role in Derry Girls (2018) and Read all About It! (2021), as well as her ebook "I Got This" - which speaks on her experience living with Achondroplasia. I wanted to be sure to give her an honourable mention because at only fifteen she's already become an activist for the LP community! I'm excited to see how her career evolves!
Thank you for the ask! Be sure to check these folks out!
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l0vergirlwrites · 17 days ago
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always, forever ; jj maybank
synopsis: after the events in morocco, you can’t help but think about how you almost lost the love of your life.
warnings: general angst themes, mentions of blood & death & weapons, established relationship with jj, mentions of season 4 episode 10
note: obx season 4 actually didn’t end the way it did btw!! this is how it should’ve ended!!
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the warm night air at poguelandia was filled with laughs, cheers, & various conversations between the pogues as the radio blasted in the background. it was a pogue style celebration for getting the crown, for fighting tooth & nail, & for being a team.
while the rest of the pogues were on the upper level by the hammocks, feet pounding against the wood with each jump or dance move, you had situated yourself on the main level’s porch, your eyes trained on how the current in the marsh moved, the way the willows bent to the wind, and the fireflies floating through the atmosphere.
you should’ve felt more happy, bursting with joy with each beer you nursed, dancing by jj’s side like there was no tomorrow. but part of you just couldn’t shake the near death encounter you both experienced.
*~*~**~~*~**~*~**~*
the sand was everywhere, whipping at your bodies quickly as you ran through narrow pathways. jj’s hand was tightly holding yours as you led the two of you, his other securing the blue gemmed crown to his waist. gunshots & yelling men could be heard in the background, making you run faster out of fear.
“turn right up ahead!” jj yelled through his bandana covered mouth, squeezing your hand as a signal.
you turned, coming face to face with a wooden door which seemed promising. one minute, you were opening the door. the next, you were in the arms of a dangerous man.
groff had a knife to your neck, pressing hard into your skin as a warning of what he was really capable of. you struggled to breathe in his hold, chest rising up & down frantically as you stared at jj.
the blonde moved slowly towards you, negotiating a trade off between him & the man who’s supposedly his real father. in a swift motion, the crown was in groff’s possession & you were safe in jj’s embrace.
you remember his lips pressed against the shell of your ear, his broken voice assuring you that you were okay when your fingers dug into the clothing on his back.
however, this moment was short lasting because jj let you go so he could face groff one last time.
once you saw groff’s blade twitch in his hand, you pulled jj back as groff moved forward. his knife luckily didn’t go deep into jj’s side, & you had kicked it out of groff’s grip. soon enough, groff was kicked into a ditch below & jj had clutched his side.
the cut was easily remedied by your caring hands, ripping off some of your clothes to press into his side. you were crying by this point, being comforted by jj’s voice & hands as he slid down against the wall. your hands pressed into the wound to keep pressure on the slow bleeding, trying to remind yourself that it was minor & it could’ve been worse.
it could’ve been way worse.
**~*~*~***~*~~**~*~~**~*~*
“was wondering where you went, baby”
you blinked hard, running a hand over your face before turning to the blonde. you smiled at him as he sat down beside you, wrapping an arm around your shoulder to pull you into his embrace.
“i didn’t go far” you mumbled as you pressed a kiss into the skin on his shoulder, lips touching an old save of his while you squeezed his knee.
jj couldn’t help but smile at the sight of your hand on his knee wearing the ring he had stole for you on your ring finger. “knew it’d be the perfect fit” his thumb pad ran over the silver ring, turning his head to look into your eyes.
you didn’t say anything else, just needing to kiss him because words were too difficult. “i really love you” you breathed out against his lips, unable to hide your smile when he kissed you harder at your omission, his hand on your cheek holding you in place.
jj repeated those words back to you as he pulled away, his thumb running across your bottom lip in thought. he could tell the events from morocco were weighing down on you, he could see it in the way you looked at him.
scared that he might vanish somehow after coming so close to it. the thought of it weighed down on him too.
“i’m not going anywhere, you know that right?” he spoke softer now, eyes trained on yours despite his hand pulling one of your free ones to his heart.
with your palm pressed against his chest, you could feel his heartbeat beneath his skin. it made you tear up involuntarily. “i know,” you nodded, clutching the material of his shirt. “i just… m-my mind won’t let me forget it”.
your eyes drifted to his left side, where you could see some of the medical bandaging you had put on earlier peeking out from under his shirt. his cut was healing, he was okay—but you knew it was gonna leave a permanent scar.
jj nodded understandably. he himself had his own internal battles with what happened, the small injury he had sustained.
“if it weren’t for your quick thinking, i—“ he stopped himself from saying it. “you saved me, baby” jj smiled, wiping the stray tear that fell onto your cheek without a second thought.
“well, you saved me first—“ he shut you up with a kiss, brushing his nose against yours.
“we’re always gonna save each other. i know that” you whispered against him when he pressed his forehead into yours, his arm around your shoulders securing you to him—to remind you that nothing will come between you two.
“always” jj agreed, a sappy laugh escaping his chest when you hugged him, your face seeking comfort in the crook of his neck.
he melted into your touch, breathing in the scent of your perfume like a vice as he let out a few tears of his own.
“it’s us against the world for life. always, forever” & you couldn’t agree more.
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wilted-woods · 2 years ago
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In the midst of all of this chaos, Willow wanders off and ends up...well...um..
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I tried to fit everyone xdd and I'm still trying to picture them almost looking like stickmen in the distance because I suck at perspective lmao- except for those that are literally GIGANTIC like Kiju gigantic, a colossal- damn- ( . _ .)
Those in the picture (even though their Narrators (and other characters) aren't there, they are, they're just on the other side as I still need some practice with perspectives-):
@blackkatdraws @indigo-art @deviousnarrator @filllury (I'm so sorry for mispelling it the first time-) @anotheroneofthegaysharks @bucketttt4 @silvermoon279-madam @comfortventure @vellichorom @ufevalyne @paradoxspir1t
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A continuation from this reblog chain. Welcome to the world's most helpful oil spill. Featuring @blackkatdraws @wilted-woods @silvermoon279-madam @minamariq @bullpup-blog and a very tiny @marsalta this is a collab post, @blackkatdraws is next and then @deviousnarrator
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cherry-romper · 6 months ago
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Loving You Sounds Like a Song
Playlist
+ Midoriya, Bakugou, Todoroki, Kirishima, Kaminari, Sero, Iida, Momo, Jirou, Mina, Ochaco, Asui, Mirio, Amajiki, Aizawa, Hawks, All Might, Dabi, Twice, Compress, Shiguraki
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Midoriya; Head over Heels - Tears For Fears
I wanted to be with you alone
I'm lost in admiration, could I need you this much?
Something happens and I'm head over heels
One little boy, one little man - funny how time flies
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Bakugou; Everlong - Foo Fighters
I've waited here for you, Everlong
Come down, And waste away with me
Breathe out, So I can breathe you in
And I wonder...if everything could ever feel this real forever.
You gotta promise not to stop when I say when.
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Todoroki; Say Yes to Heaven - Lana Del Rey
Give peace a chance, Let the fear you have fall away
Say yes to heaven, Say yes to me
If you go, I'll stay, You come back, I'll be right here
And if you fight, I'll fight
I've got my mind on you
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Kirishima; Lover - Taylor Swift
Can I go where you go?
Can we always be this close forever and ever?
I've loved you three summers now, honey, but I want 'em all
I take this magnetic force of a man to be my lover
All's well that ends well to end up with you
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Kaminari; NEON - DPR LIVE
Your kisses make it go neon
Neon, I want to know you
Neon, lose the night with you
Girl, I'm liking your body, but more than that I love your, uh
Colourful smile, you make me wonder what's under, uh
The way you make the light go blurry
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Sero; Coast - Hailee Steinfeld
You the wave upon my ocean, pounding rhythm and motion
Just relax and let the riptide pull you close
Baby, all I wanna do is coast, with you
The starts come down, you drown 'em out
I'm sinking deeper into you
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Iida; This Charming Man - The Smiths
Will nature make a man of me?
Why pamper life's complexity, When the leather runs smooth on the passenger seat?
This man said, "It's gruesome that someone so handsome should care"
A jumped up pantry boy, Who never knew his place
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Momo; You've Got The Love - Florence + The Machine
I know I can count on you
But you've got the love I need to see me through
When my food is gone you are my daily meal
When friends are gone I know my saviour's love is real
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Jirou; Wait a Minute! - WILLOW
I'm here right now, with you
I'll run my hands through you hair
You wanna run your fingers through mine
You left your diary at my house, And I read those pages, Do you really love me, baby?
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Mina; DESERT EAGAL - Beyonce
Soft to the touch, let you hold somethin'
Soft kisses on some fat lips
Put on a show and make it nasty, Desert Eagle in the backseat
Oh, I keep it classy, let you love me like a lady, yeah
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Ochaco; Strawberry Skies - Kid Travis
Girl you brighten up my world
Cant you tell I want you by my side?
We're gone with the wind, Hair in your face, Put my hand on your waist
Strawberry skies, all on your lips, 'cause I love how it taste
Hope that you catch me when I fall
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Asui; Honey - Kehlani
I like my girls just like I like my honey, sweet, A little selfish
'Cause I'm a beautiful wreck, A colourful mess, but I'm funny
All the pretty girls in the world, But I'm in this space with you
Don't walk away, or would you wait for me?
Isn't love all we need? Is it love?
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Mirio; I can't Help Myself - Four Tops
You know that I love you, I cant help myself
I love you and nobody else
Leaving just your picture behind, And I kissed it a thousand times
When you snap your figure or wink your eye, I come running too you
But every time I see your face, I get choked up inside.
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Amajiki; Halley's Comet - Billie Eilish
But in my dreams I seem to be more honest, And I must admit, you've been in quite a few
But you're all it takes for me to break a promise
Silly me to fall in love with you
Midnight for me is 3AM for you
I was good at feeling nothing, now I'm hopeless
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Aizawa; Adore You - Harry Styles
I get so lost inside your eyes, Would you believe it?
You don't have to say you love me
You don't have to say nothing
You don't have to say you're mine
I'd walk through fire for you, Just let me adore you
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Hawks; Where u Goin' Tonight? - Mac Ayres
Just don't stand so close to me... Unless tonight, you'll be my only
All of the things I tried to keep low, Feeling like I been changing
Tell me where you goin' tonight? I'll meet you there if that's alright
Could I be the one to do the things that you like?
Burnt all my bridges, baby, But at least I'm staying warm
I been working on forgiveness, Said I don't think its catching on
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All Might; I Was Made For Lovin' You - KISS
Tonight I wanna give it all to you
'Cause girl, I was made for you, And girl, you were made for me
Can you get enough of me?
Feel the magic, there's something that drives me wild
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Dabi; LET THE WORLD BURN - Chris Grey
It's dangerous 'cause I want it all, And I don't think I care what it costs
I shouldn't have fallen in love, Look what it made me become
And I know you think you can run
But I just cant let you go
I'd let the world burn, Let the world burn for you
This is how it always had to end, If I cant have you then no one can
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Twice; Caraphernelia - Pierce The Veil
There ain't a think that you can do that's going to ruin my night
This dizzy dreamer and her bleeding little blue boy
Hold my heart, it's beating for you anyway
Ill burn your name into my throat
What's so good about picking up the pieces?
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Mr. Compress; Never Ever Getting Rid of me - From Waitress
I will never let you let me leave, I promise I'm not lying
I'm gonna do this right, Show you I'm not moving, Wherever you go, I won't be far to follow
I'm gonna love you so, You'll learn what I already know, I love you means you're never, ever, ever getting rid of me
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Shigaraki; No Mercy - DeathByRomy
My boy hates everybody but me
He's sinister, but to me, he's sweet
In love with a monster, Daddy thinks I've lost it
My boy's a bullet in your brain, I show no mercy
Your nightmare is the man of my dreams
It turns me on when he makes you bleed
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enha-doodles · 8 months ago
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Omg sjsksk I love your works and i was wondering if you can write head canons or reaction of Slytherin boys reacting to their darling being from gryffindor 👀👀
SLYTHERIN GUYS REACTION TO YOU BEING IN GRYFFINDOR | ✧⁺。
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Pairing : ( Mattheo , Tom , Theodore, Lorenzo, Draco ) x reader
Note : tysm for the request lovely !! I'm glad ppl are enjoying these ✨✨ wrote this quickly because I hit 500 and i wanted to post something for it sksjdhkdk
Warnings : none
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Mattheo Riddle
Mattheo couldn't give a flying Snitch about house rivalry because he's head over heels for you. Still, he can't help but grumble about those Gryffindors, muttering how the Sorting Hat must've been napping when it put you in the wrong house.
He's like, "You? A Gryffindor? Nah, you're Slytherin material, love. Just look at how cunningly you stole my heart."
Tom Riddle
Tom's all about that subtle domination, like a cat playing with its prey. He'll casually drop hints about your Gryffindor status whenever he can, but it's all in good fun... mostly.
It's like he's saying, "Oh, you're a Gryffindor, darling? Well, just remember who's the real king of the castle here , who your lord is"
Theodore Nott
At first, Theodore's perplexed , wondering why on earth the Sorting Hat put you in Gryffindor. Stupid ass hat . Lowkey blames it on the hat being old and not having the same sense "maybe it's lost its power to sort along with its sanity"
But then he's like, "Eh, whatever. House smouse, as long as I've got you cara mia." He'd rather spend time cozying up with you than waste energy fussing about house rivalries.
Lorenzo Berkshire
Lorenzo's not one to beat around the bush Whomping Willow. He straight-up asks you to beg Dumbledore to switch your house. Very annoyingly continuosly.
He'll be like, "Come on, babe, it'll be easier for both of us. Slytherin's where you belong." But hey, even if you stay a Gryffindor, he's still all heart eyes for you.
Draco Malfoy
Draco's the drama queen of Slytherin, whining about your Gryffindor status like it's the end of the World.
He's all, "You're not seriously a Gryffindor, are you? Ugh, next thing you'll tell me is you're besties with Harry Potter." But deep down, he's just a lovesick puppy, willing to overlook house drama for your sake.
。    ✧    ⁺     。
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kasagia · 1 month ago
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Flesh and blood
Pairing: Halbrand x fem!elf! reader Summary: Centuries of running away, fighting with what is right and what you should do, have left their mark on you. In time, you begin to realise that the war between good and evil, light and darkness, will never end. And you are tired of all of it. Especially since HE never leaves you alone. Not even for a short moment. Not even when you're about to marry someone else. A bit of a sequel to Skin and Bones, but can be read on its own! It took me longer than I thought, but I kind of like the way it went. I hope you will like it! 🤭🥰 Inspired by: David Kushner - "Flesh x Blood" Halbrand's Masterlist ~•♤♤♤•~ Main Masterlist
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"I don't remember the last time you prayed to the Valar." Galadriel sneaks up to you silently. You close your eyes and breathe in the sweet air of Lothlórien.
You were looking for a quiet place where you could calm down and clear your mind of everything that had been bothering you in recent days. And quite a bit had piled up. And not just because it was your "wedding week.".
"That was… ages ago." You reply thoughtfully and stroke the ring hanging around your neck with your fingertip. A ring forged by Halbrand.
"He won't come here. I will make sure of it. He's too afraid of failure. We have many more allies now. You can be safe for yourself and your fiancé." Galadriel assures you with burning fervour and takes your hand that you hold on your lap. You smile, glad that something of her fire still remains—despite the centuries you have fought for yourselves and your people.
"It's not me I'm worried about. Nor Thranduil. You know… you know how Sauron is. He'll do exactly what we least expect. And I can't let him surprise me again." You say, standing up and taking away your hand from her grip. You walk closer to the willow with white leaves and rest your hand on its trunk.
You try desperately to cling with your soul to the power that lies dormant in it—the light that is both a part of you and Garadiel. But as usual, you don't feel the pleasant tingling in your body. You feel the power flowing through you, but... it's not as addictive as the darkness that he tried to pour into you so many times.
The silence after your words is oppressive, to say the least.
"Do you still have these dreams?"Galadriel's soft whisper makes you shiver a little. You wonder if she can feel it in you—the way the light the Valar gave you beats against the darkness that sang to you the most tempting ballads and promises.
"Less often. I guess he's too busy to bother me. Or maybe he's already bored with me? That would be convenient turn of events." You reply and finally turn to fully face her. A small smile appears on your face, but by the way she narrows her eyes at you, you can tell she's seen through at least some of your lies.
"But do you want it? For him to... leave you at peace?"
"There is no peace for me, Galadriel. Neither for you. We both know that." You try to avoid responding to her question and are about to walk away from her, but in the distance you see the silhouette of a very familiar prince of Mirkwood. “Forgive me.” You say, using that perfect excuse, and head towards your fiancé.
Guilt hits you every time you see a smile on Thranduil's face. Not just any polite, mocking, or trained smile that you get used to seeing. He seemed to have his special one—the one reserved just for your eyes to see.
You don't know exactly how you've charmed the Elven Prince, but you didn't go into too much detail. This alliance would be good for the elves. It would unite you in the fight against the one who held the torn remains of your heart in his claws.
Although... you couldn't say you didn't hope that the passionate feelings the platinum-haired prince had for you would be returned from your side someday. Maybe in time you'd learn to love him as he loved you.
"My lady." He greets you and reaches for your hand. He places a kiss on the top of it with full reverence, not to tease you as HE used to do.
"Elf." Halbrand's raspy voice rings out behind you as you and Galadriel discuss something. You're celebrating a battle won against your enemies, the night dark, the area lit only by the light from the campfires and torches. You blush as you meet the intense gaze of his stormy eyes, and you blame the alcohol you've just consumed for that, not the effect this special mortal has on you. "May I?"
Too focused on his muscular, exposed shoulders, you almost don't notice him nod toward the elves dancing around the fire. Before you can respond, Galadriel takes the wooden tankard from your hand and practically shoves it into Halbrand's arms. She would do anything to bribe him into ruling the Southlands and becoming her ally now. She would even go so far as to push you into his bed if it would change his mind.
You hold your breath, your heart beating a little faster as he takes your hand and presses a kiss to it. Your skin tingles as his lips caress you, his stubble teasing, just like the way his blue eyes scrutinise your reaction.
He pulls away, giving you a mischievous, mysterious smile and holding you to his chest, joining the other couples around the fire and spinning around in his arms like nothing else in the world matters. Ironically, a mortal makes you feel more eternal than any elf, dwarf, or man you’ve ever met.
You shake your head at the memory, and when Thranduil's eyes find your face again, you give him one of your smiles. One that he unfortunately can't recognise as a mask. One that Halbrand would see through in a blink of an eye.
"You were not at the war council today." He notices and nods toward the gardens. You begin to walk at a leisurely pace as you consider how to respond to his observation.
"I did not feel too… focused to participate in it today. I hope you didn't miss me too much?" You tease him, hoping he'll ignore the slight note of concern in your voice.
You wanted your complicated realtion with... Sauron to remain a secret from him. He didn't need to know about things that were long in the past… or your fears that the past wasn't as far away as you'd like it to be.
"I actually did." His comment catches you off guard a little. You stop when he reaches into your hair and tucks a sundrop lily behind your ear. It's a sweet gesture. Really. And you feel warmer and nicer inside… but your heart doesn't flutter in your chest like it would if HE did it. "I heard these are your favorites?"
You nod with a smile, not daring to tell him that your favorites are the red-white Carnations. And not because Halbrand gave them to you the other century...
"They are." You whisper hoarsely, a smile plastered on your face and you look away at the flowers growing around you.
He doesn't let you look away for long though. He gently takes your chin in both his fingers and tilts your head, forcing you to look at him.
There was a delicacy, a grace in everything Thranduil did. He was the epitome of an ideal elf, in whom it was easy to see the roots of a great family. And you would have fallen for him, indeed, had you not tasted the seawater of darkness on your chapped lips all those centuries ago.
"What's on your mind?" He whispers, staring at you intently, searching for an answer to your strange behavior.
There are a lot of things stuck in your mind… and none of them should be there.
Because how could you tell him that your mind wasn't occupied by him—just as it should be—but... by Halbrand? How can you tell him that you spend countless nights wondering about what could've been, turning the silver betrothal ring that Thranduil gave you on your finger and fantasising that its metal was black, made of the same as Sauron's crown?
"Many things. Wedding. War. Orcs... Sauron." You confess partly the truth, keeping your gaze fixed not on his eyes and face but on the garden behind him. "I… I'm worried about what's going to happen." You admit mysteriously, without betraying, that you are truly afraid of being bound to him.
You are too scared to admit that the dark corners of your heart are dying with longing for the one you should never have desired. That part of you wishes that your groom carried far less light within him.
"I promise you, he won't ever touch you again. I will protect you. With my kingdom, army and life." All you can give him in return for such a racy declaration is a faint smile that you hope actually looks more convincing than it feels.
"I know. But I hope you will never have to, Thranduil." You add, completely honestly, for the first time, and on instinct you lean in and snuggle up to the elf.
He seems at least surprised that you seek comfort from him, but he doesn't comment on it. Instead, he wraps his arms around you and places a hand on your head, gently running his hand through your hair as he lets you hide in his embrace for a moment.
And it feels good. Really.
But not as good as hugs from HIM.
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"Galadriel said that I would find you here." Halbrand's voice interrupts your prayer to the Valar. You turn on the bench and look at the mortal. He slowly walks over to you and sits down next to you, staring at the holy oak before you. "Blaming yourself for their deaths won't get you anywhere. They're soldiers. They take into account the possibility of being killed when they go to war."
"Every life is worth mourning, Halbrand." He snorts at that, as if he doesn't believe the sincerity of your words. He turns his gaze to you, but you don't want to look back at him. You're afraid he'll see the tears in your eyes.
"Possible. But praying to the Valar will not bring them back to life." You jump up from the bench as if burned, to which he gives you a confused look.
"What are you trying to do? What do you want to tell me?! That stupid, eternal elf shouldn't shed tears over a life taken for no reason? That I shouldn't sit in a corner and cry like a child while people die around me? I know it! I know it perfectly well, mortal!" Your voice breaks slightly and you can no longer stop yourself from crying silently.
He freezes. For the first time, he sees your outburst. You're usually a composed oasis of composure, but now... after you saw him at the edge of death... Halbrand starts to connect the dots. He walks over to you and firmly, quickly closes you in his arms. You try to pull away, but he doesn't let go.
He actually doesn't want to let you go.
He had many names; he had taken many forms, but in none of them did he feel... peace. Holding you in his arms while you were crying into his chest, seeking comfort from him, as your fingers dug into his shoulders, clinching to him tight as if for dear life... he felt peace. He felt some strange kind of relief caused by the fact that you cared about him much enough to mourn his potential death.
You cried into his chest because you were afraid he would die, that he would leave. Sauron tries to remember the last time someone cared so much for him. He can't remember. Or he doesn't want to remember anything but this.
And he took selfish pleasure in the knowledge that his leaving would have devastated you.
You let yourself cry into him, pour out all the emotions that have been weighing on you since you saw him bleeding on the healers' bed, and you shiver in his arms as a cool gust of wind somehow hits your skin and breaks through the safe cage of his warm embrace.
"No Valar has ever answered my prayers. None has ever looked after me like you are... thank you, Y/N." He whispers into your hair and presses a kiss to your forehead.
He feels a strange pang in his heart as his lips touch the surface of your silky skin. You still tremble in his grip, but he holds you impossibly tight, refusing to let any force separate you. It's a strange feeling. One he's not used to. One that seems addictive - much like your sweet scent, which he hopes will linger on him so he can appreciate it longer.
This moment between you is... intimate. Not just because he holds you close to his chest, whispers sweet things into your ear, and plants kisses that colour your cheeks the same scarlet as your dress. It's because he uses your name for the first time. And it's to comfort you. A mortal. A blacksmith. A simple man... for whom you've fallen so quickly it's pathetic.
When you finally stop crying and he carefully wipes away every tear that's left on your cheeks with his thumbs, you do the boldest, stupidest thing in your entire, long life. You stand up on your tiptoes and connect his lips with yours.
He is... surprised by your unexpected act. At first he is unable to react to the way your lips move gently against his. You kiss him with a tenderness he has not felt for at least several centuries. And the Valar above, how sweet your lips were.
The tempting vision of the future he could have with you passes through his mind, enticing him more than any vision of power that Morgoth putted in his mind.
You take away his breath and any possibility of movement with each gentle biting of his lip. His heart beats uncontrollably quickly as he revels in your closeness and your ethereal scent, which wraps him better than any blanket could. He clings to your sofftness like a centuries-old thirst for touch-broken man that Morgoth had made him.
You pull away from him when he remains still for too long, fearing you've crossed a line. Allowing you to believe in it is the only crime he can’t commit.
His plans to slowly seduce you and use you to get on Galadriel's better side fly out the window as he desperately reaches for you. His needing of you is greater than anything he has felt since he took this new form.
And Valar, curse him if, after he has tasted you, he does not get all of you to himself.
He tangles a hand in your hair and, making sure his entire hand is securely around the back of your head, pushes you against the column in the courtyard with a force that makes you gasp into his mouth.
He’s quick to seize the opportunity, his tongue slipping past your slightly parted lips as he greedily savours every last bit of you, devouring you like a starving man as his other hand desperately grabs at your waist, taking a fistful of the material of your dress.
He wants to be as close to you as possible, any logical thought in his mind giving in to the force of his desire as he presses his entire body against you, wondering only where and how to take you, which places are your sweet spots, and what to taste first to put out the fire you've ignited inside him—a desire so great he's become its obedient slave in less than a blink of an eye.
And for a moment, he truly feels like a weak mortal. As you work just as quickly to unbutton his shirt, he feels like a regular human being. And he despises that feeling as much as he desires more.
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"He is here." At Galadriel's words, you drop the white gown you were taking from the wardrobe.
Your maids rush to you, trying to save the silk dress from getting wrinkled, but you don't care. All you can think about is him. Sauron. Halbrand... Annatar. He was here.
"What?" You stare at her in shock as she nods her head for the rest to leave your chambers. The silence in the room is heavy, broken only by the hurried footsteps of the elves leaving, who have managed to do your wedding hair and light makeup.
"We... wanted to keep you away from it—Erlond, me, and Thranduil. We thought it would be the best for you. Sauron... he entered the city gates a week ago and... surrendered. Sort of. He let us lock him in his cell. He has no crown, no rings. He said he wanted to make an alliance with us. Peace. Of course we don't believe him. We're waiting for our allies to provide us with... the right means to get rid of his physical form for good. Before that... we'd like to get as much out of him as possible. Or rather, find out what his real plan is. But he's been silent for weeks. He wants to talk to you. Only you."
"You kept it in hidden? From me? Together with my future husband?" You ask coldly, inside seething with rage at their betrayal. How could they pretend nothing was happening for a week? That the greatest evil in Middle-earth hadn't come to your gates and wasn't lurking in the dungeons, waiting for the most likely moment to strike?
"Y.N, I… I know how you feel…"
"No. You don't know." You answer her firmly, piercing her with an icy gaze that makes her flinch. "Am I your enemy now? A less worthy ally who fell in love with an enemy? Because that's what he is to me, Galadriel. How dare you... how dare you doubt me after I've chosen you every time? After I had chosen Middle-earth and elves every single time! Each of us faces darkness, Galadriel. Even you are not made entirely of light. So I'm asking you, what right do you have to exclude me from your plans?!"
You explode in rage at her and walk over to her. You breathe quickly, air leaving your flared nostrils, and the urge to pin her to the wall with a dagger at her neck is overwhelming.
"Everything I do, I do for the good of Middle-earth."
"You're not the only one! What do you think is the reason for my marriage to Thranduil?! The good of Middle-earth, the strengthening of the alliance—that's all I've done for these cursed centuries at your side! But I thought I was your true ally and supporter. Thank you for reminding me that I fall short of your light and greatness, my lady."
Before she can say anything, you're already running out of the room. You ignore the elves milling around, who were listening to your conversation, and head to one place. The dungeons.
You can't ignore the pang in your heart as you consider your conversation with Galadriel. She didn't trust you. They didn't trust you. After all the years at their side, the sacrifices, the battle against the darkness within you, they thought of you as a lesser elf that any time can be consumed by the darkness. You were not a worthy guardian of Middle-earth in their eyes. And you probably never will be.
You blink faster, fighting back the tears that want to spontaneously come to your eyes, and practically run down the stairs. You don't ask the guards where he is. You can feel him clearly, the ring that still hangs safely on your necklace pulling you toward him, feeling him as soon as you set foot on the same floor he is on.
You prepare yourself to not show any emotion on your face. You take a few deep breaths and climb the last few stairs. A rather comical sight greets you. Six men stand by the bars, as if the chains and shackles around the neck, wrists, and ankles of the man in front of you were not enough to assure him that he would not escape. As if they could stop him if he actually wanted to escape.
You watch his new form closely as he drinks in your sight with an equally intense gaze, as if assessing all the changes in you since your last meeting. He is no longer Annatar. He doesn't have blond hair, but he is a near-perfect replica of Halbrand. A damn bastard knew too well which one of his forms you had weakness for.
"Leave me and the prisoner alone." You order the soldiers. They look at each other uncertainly. But you are in no mood to deal with their blatant refusal to immediately obey your words. “It was an order, not a request.”
You see a small, mocking smile spread across his face as he watches the soldiers hesitantly leave you alone. The door closes behind them with a bang, sending an involuntary shiver down your spine. Centuries. That's how long it took for the two of you to be in the same room in flesh and blood.
It shouldn't feel this right.
"Personally, I think I made you a better ring." He begins, casting a significant glance at the Thranduil's ring that adorned your finger. For a moment, you felt as if the metal would melt under his contemptuous gaze.
"Personally, I believe that it is not the ring that is important but the one who gives it." You comment and take a step towards the bars. He can't move, thankfully, so there still is a decent distance between you two.
He's trapped in the middle of the room, chained to the floor with heavy chains. And though he looks defenseless... but deep down you know he's been through worse. No prison could hold him for long.
"Your little elf prince... did he finally tell you that I was locked here? Or was he too afraid I'd steal you from the altar? By the way, I didn't know you had a thing for blondes? Maybe Annatar wasn't as disgusting to you as you claimed."
"Oh Annatar was a self-absorbed, egotistical psychopath with unrealistic ambitions. A pretty close and faithful form of you. Probably the closest yet, Sauron." He frowns at the contemptuous, almost disgusted way you say his name. He clears his throat and shakes his head, chuckling darkly.
His mockery sends waves of anger through you as well as a warm, all-too-familiar feeling in your chest. His laughter was both poison and wine to you. How much would you give to be able to get lost in it with impunity...
"Now now. Why call me by a name you despise? We both know which one you like more... especially in the darkness of your chambers." You tremble slightly, but you don't let him know that the constant visions and dreams were affecting you in any way.
If you've learnt anything about him, it's that he doesn't like it when you don't react to his actions. And right now, you really want to piss him off; see him losing his composed and mocking demeanour, as if he were still playing the cards in your game, as if he were 15 steps ahead of you.
"Why are you here, Halbrand? Perhaps you prefer Annatar? The Dark Lord? It's hard to keep up with the nicknames you've been giving yourself lately, Lord of orcs and Mordor." You ask calmly, playing with the ring on your finger—a habit you had developed far before your engagement and, as you've just noticed, something that annoyed him when it wasn't his ring that you were showing off like that.
"Oh, well, someone had to carry a pillow with wedding rings at your…"
"You're wasting my time." You interrupt him coldly, staring at him intently. “Maybe I should just let Galadriel play with you while I focus on my husband?” You ask, rasing defiantly an eyebrow at him as you wonder if he will continue his stupid game or once in his life he will open his cards to you.
"Good thing we have eternity, right?" You sigh and roll your eyes at him. That was exactly how you remembered him.
What else could you expect from him? If he hadn't shown you the illusion, he would have entangled you in his dark web of lies. It didn't matter if he came to you in visions or stood before you in flesh and blood—he wasn't the one you fell in love with; he was much more. You should have realised after all those centuries that whatever was between you two wasn't love, affection, or anything decent.
He desired your power. Not you. Maybe you should finally take a hint.
Maybe he had shown you the darkness for too long to feel tempted by it any longer. Maybe this light was finally what you longed for. Or maybe you got bored of his little, sick games and manipulations. Maybe you craved for something real—something he obviously would never give you.
You turn your back on him and are about to leave when he suddenly calls your name. Not the pet names he liked to call you. Your name. Your real name. And something about the way it rolled over his tongue wouldn't let you just walk away from him.
Even though you should have done it ages ago. Even though the whispers of darkness had been tempting you for too long, and even though you knew perfectly well that it would be better for you to leave this room as soon as possible, you didn't.
You stop, but you don't spare him a glance again. You wait for what he has to say, not really knowing what you want to achieve with him. Because you are perfectly well aware that Galadriel has already informed Erlond and Thranduil about your sudden outburst and that they are most likely eavesdropping on the two of you now. HE probably knew that too. Just as you all knew that he wouldn't appear here without a serious reason.
"Not in a joking mood, I see. You'd be a lot happier as my bride, by the way. But if you insist, I think I can tell you this great secret, but it must remain just between us two, my sacred light." He pauses, clearly waiting for you to look at him again. You sigh and reluctantly turn to face him. The intensity of his sea-green gaze burns worse than any flame, making you feel like you're the one being interrogated and shackled by him. "Actually... I'm here to replace your groom if he decides to run away from the altar. I wouldn't want the beautiful sight of you in your wedding dress to go to waste."
"Who said he would leave me? Thranduil loves me." You speak with complete certainty of the prince of Mirkwood's feelings for you. You wish you had as much confidence in yourself as you do in him.
"Not a big achievement. He's not the only one. He's not the only one who put a ring on your finger, is he? But tell me... what seems more... intimate? Wearing one on your finger or on a chain around your neck, close to your heart?"
After his words, the ring on your chest - the very one he gave you - becomes heavy, heavy under the awareness that his words carry a bit of truth... Why would you still keep his ring close to you if you already had one?
"You tell me. It seems that of the two of us, you know the most about the chains. Especially the dark ones."
"I may be chained to the darkness. But you, my stubborn and beautiful elf, are chained to the light. Tell me, Y/N, does the Valar answer your prayers and your pleas after you have cried out to me in the darkness of so many nights? Can you whisper their names in your holly gardens, knowing it is mine you wish to scream out loud for all of Middle-earth to hear?"
Only when blood is running in a stream from your hand do you realise that you've gone to the bars and wrapped your hand around them, squeezing tightly so you hurt yourself. He's drawn you to him like a spider to its prey, wrapping you in the web of his words, making you lose your guard enough to get close to the bars. And that was your mistake.
In an instant, he’s in front of you. You gasp in shock, unable to process when he’s freed himself from his shackles or when he’s wrapped his hand around your wrist and pulled it through the bars. All you can do is hold your breath and watch as he licks your wound, moaning as your crimson blood spreads across his taste buds, tasting you like you’re the most exquisite of drinks.
"We belong together, my lady." He says this nickname mockingly as he leans down to press his lips to your hand. "No matter how far or fast you want to run, or who you want to run with. I will always find you. I will always be near. You will be able to feel my breath on your neck in every dark night. You will always be mine, Y/N."
You gasp as his lips move up your hand. He’s so close, your noses brushing through the bars as he forces you closer to him, to feel you the way he wants.
You gasp as he slides his hand along the sharp edge of the bars and mixes your blood with his, pressing your hands together tightly. You watch as the black, thick liquid runs down his wrist, and an unwanted little voice in the back of your head convinces you to lean down and taste his blood with the tip of your tongue. You stand there, staring at him as if spellbound, unable to move as he presses kisses to your joined hands, spreading your blood across your skin.
Suddenly, you are being dragged backwards by two strong pairs of arms. And although Halbrand... Sauron tries to hold you by force, almost crushing your wrist, Erlond and Thranduil pull you away from him.
"That's a very rude way to interrupt someone's conversation." He comments unimpressed, running his finger over the bars where your blood still is. He sucks his thumb, humming at another metallic taste, irritating your not-yet-husband.
"You're lucky there's no suitable weapon here yet to end your miserable life, you disgusting, cursed Maiar. I'd like to see you try to get close to her, no longer having any physical form."
"I would still have a better chance of getting a taste of her wonderful nectar and light, little prince. Actually, I've already done it. What about you?"
You knew perfectly well what game he was playing and how much he wanted to spore the elf so that he would slip and stab him with his sword, thus not killing him fully but allowing him to take another form. But Thranduil seemed too agitated to leave him without a word, and Erlond was too interested in getting more information out of Sauron to stop his friend.
"I can connect with her in a more meaningful way. First of all, I have enough light in myself to bind our souls to each other." Sauron frowns in displeasure, never taking his contemptuous gaze off your fiancé.
"You may not know this, Elven Prince, but darkness is as good a connection as any, and a much stronger one I dare to say. Besides... you cannot bond with one who is already taken."
This is clearly too much for Thranduil to bear. The Prince of Mirkwood is in front of Sauron in a split second, his blade at his neck. A thin line of black blood runs down to his collarbones as he, unfazed, still smirking, stares down at your fiancé.
"Thranduil leave him." You butt in and place a hand on the elf's shoulder. He looks at you sideways, his jaw clenched and his hand trembling slightly against Mairon's neck as he is still tempted to take his life. You gently grab his wrist and pull his hand away from Sauron, ignoring the searing look he gives you as you touch another man before him. You gently cup the elf's cheek and force him to look at you. "He is not worth it. Let us go, he will not tell us anything useful, he will only confuse our minds. This is just another of his numerous games."
"You know perfectly well that not all of this was a lie, Y/N. And if anything… I'm not the only one here who resorts to it, am I, my beloved nemesis?" You try to ignore the look Sauron gives you from behind Thranduil's shoulder.
You lean down and gently connect your lips with the elf's. He seems to melt into your kiss, one of your rare acts of tenderness. And you can't quite give yourself over to the feeling of his lips against yours enough to not hear the soft growl of the man behind you.
"Let's take this wedding. We won't achieve anything here anyway." You say, moving away from him and trying your hardest to ignore the pain in your chest and the cries for the Dark Lord that Erlond and Galadriel were taking care of.
But you knew well that his imprisonment wouldn't last long. He'd get out. The only question was when... and what was the real reason of his comming here.
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The ceremony is beautiful. Really. Even though you may not be the most enthusiastic bride, you are happy that your people have something to celebrate and have a moment of respite from the danger that is now closer than ever. With Sauron in the dungeon and an army of orcs on the loose, anything could happen. And you didn't want to even imagine the many possible scenarios.
"A coin for your thoughts?" Thranduil quickly joins your side, handing you one of the goblets in his hand.
You smile softly at him and take a sip of the drink, wincing slightly at the taste. He chuckles and wraps an arm around your waist, pulling you close as you watch the dancing elves.
This wasn't exactly how you imagined this connection between you two to look like. Elven couples who chose to bind their souls together through marriage spoke of a great connection of souls and minds, but you barely felt this link between him and you.
For a moment you thought you had said your vows wrong, but Thranduil didn't seem to act like anything was wrong. So you too pretended that everything was completely fine. Just as always.
"Honestly, this isn't how I imagined our wedding would be." You chuckle softly, sipping the drink he gave you.
"Well, that wasn't what I had in mind either, my dear wife. But it doesn't make it any less joyful. You're mine. Finally." He whispers and presses a kiss on your temple. A shiver runs through you as he gently slides a ring onto your finger. The engagement ring that somehow disappeared from your finger. You frown and give him a questioning look. "Sauron must have stolen it from you somehow. I'm just returning it to its rightful place—my queen's finger." He replies and reverently places a kiss on the back of your hand.
You frown and look at the metal band on your finger. It was… oddly heavier. Like more massive. Strange, since it was the exactly same ring as few hours ago.
"Is there something wrong, my love?" He asks sweetly, taking the empty chalice from you.
You absentmindedly play with the necklace around your neck, freezing when you realize you don't have the familiar weight of Sauron's ring hanging around your neck.
"Shall we dance? For the first time as husband and wife?" Before you can answer, he already has you in his arms and leads you to the dance floor. You surrender completely to his guidance, feeling your head hum slightly.
All you can look at is him. Your vision can't focus on the couples dancing around you or anything else except him. And suddenly, you see it. A small crack in your fucking vision.
You can't believe how you could be so stupid and naive.
"I... Sauron" You mumble, feeling slightly disoriented as the poison he gave you is starting to work. Suddenly, you are overcome with immense fatigue, and all you can do is lean against him as you wander into blissful nothingness.
"My beautiful light. Only mine. My wife." He whispers in your ear, confirming your too-late suspicions, and easily scoops you up into his arms.
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You dream a dream without dreams. Very strange occurrence since for centuries you were haunted by him in any moment of peace.
It must have bordered on obsession, since the first thought you had after waking up was always him. He made you crazy without even trying, without even being close to you in flesh and blood.
And you're genuinely afraid of the lengths he'll go to once he finally has you within his reach.
"I know you are not sleeping, my dear wife. Your breathing quickened about 10 minutes ago."
You don't know how you could have been so stupid and naive. How you could not have noticed the obvious difference in Thranduil's demeanor. Just like you have no idea how he did it, how he managed to plan this entire show and execute exactly what he wanted. Just as always.
"Eventually you'll have to open your eyes. Don't you want to see our kingdom, my love?"
"Don't call me that, you disgusting plague." You growl, finally opening your eyes. You're in a bedroom, pitch black. You're lying on the most velvety silk sheets, but it's not them or the decor of the room that catches your eye.
He sits just a few feet from your bed. He's wearing black armour made of sharp metal plates. There's a streak of red blood on the side of his face. You shiver, wondering what he had to do to get that blood there.
"Now now. Is this the way to greet your newly wedded husband?" He asks mockingly as he slowly approaches you.
You sit on the bed and rest your back against the headboard, trying to move away from it as far as the handcuffs attached to your ankles will allow.
"I didn't marry you. I was promising myself to Thranduil." You say stubbornly as he slowly sits down on the edge of your bed.
You glare at him sternly as he lazily reaches up to stroke your cheek with his thumb. The ring on his finger—the very one you thought you were putting on Thranduil's finger—pricks your skin unpleasantly, mockingly reminding you of your great mistake.
"But that wasn't really him standing before you, was it? Your elven prince's… his… appearance is currently far from what you remember. You could always be mistaken, my love."
His voice is so sweet that it is nauseating. He drops his hand and suddenly stands up from the bed. He goes to the closet and starts to take off his armour, completely oblivious to the fact that you're in the same room as him. How you wish you had access to a small knife right now...
"What did you do to him?" You ask, your voice shaking as a thousand possibilities race through your mind. You can't believe how all of you fell for the idea that there was some way you could make him defenceless and block his powers. Millennia on his back, and he still played you however he wanted.
You shiver as he suddenly stands before you again. He gently cups your cheek in his hand and stares at you as if you were another addition to his collection of prized possessions he’s torn from the throats of his enemies. The pearl in his dark crown of scorched lands.
"He wanted to take you from me. You know very well what I do with thieves, my precious light of life. I burn them." He leans down and presses a kiss to your cheek. His stubble stings unpleasantly, your heart pounding at his closeness, but still all you can do is sit there in shock, wondering how he managed to gain control over you. And how best to play your cards to make sure he doesn't hurt anyone else.
"I wasn't yours. Not for anyone to steal me from you."
"Your mistake, for which his pretty face paid. Do you know how much time I spent convincing my army not to feed on him once they smelled the delicious scent of a burnt elf?" He asks, unfazed, continuing to press his lips against your skin. His hand tangles in your hair and wraps it around his.
He tilts your head back and buries his face in the crook of your neck, nibbling at your sensitive skin. You hold your breath, biting your lower lip until it bleeds.
A tear slips down your cheek, but he ignores it, ignores your quick breaths and broken sobs as you mourn the one man who truly wanted to save you from falling into the darkness. From falling into the arms of the Lord of the Rings.
"You are a monster." You whisper, unable to hold your voice back from a broken sob. His hand works on the fastenings of your nightgown, oblivious to the fact that you are currently reliving the suffering and death he brought to the land of Galadriel and your would-be husband.
"I am your husband. That's all that matters now."
He leans down and captures your lips. You can only moan as the force of his kiss cuts off all other sensations you feel. His lips claim yours as if it were his eternal right, one you've denied him and one he's had to rightfully fight for. You feel him sigh softly as he presses you against him, making sure he feels yours against every inch of his body. He's not kissing you. He's conquering you. He's marking his territory, laying claim to every tiny part of you, not wanting to leave any part of you unsullied by him.
He had cursed your spirit utterly centuries ago. He had planted the seeds of darkness that had only flourished in the centuries away from him. And now, having gathered enough of an army and grown strong enough to be virtually unstoppable, he was taking your body for himself.
And you realize that even the Valar do not forgive you your sin in wanting him even after all the terrible things he has done.
You still try to fight him. With the last of your strength, you push him away from you, trying to protect the remnants of light that remain in you. Light that he desired as much as he wanted to destroy it through his darkness.
"What have you done? Where am I?" You growl, trying your best to hide how panicked you are. You reach for your powers and throw him across the room.
You throw off the bonds that bind you and walk to the nearest window. You hold your breath as you see the lands that were once sacred gardens, where you prayed to the Valar, engulfed in flames and ash. He destroyed it all. He razed the entire city to the ground. All because you dared to bind yourself to someone other than himself.
"In your husband's house. Right where you belong." He approaches you silently and presses a kiss on your shoulder. He wraps his hands around you like a snake, tightening his grip on you.
You hyperventilate at the destruction you've brought upon those you loved. You wonder how many of them survived, how many escaped, how far his armies have spread, and how long he's kept you locked away in his golden fortress like a sick prize that you clearly were to him.
In your last, feeble attempt at rebellion, you scream. You scream until your throat aches, and much longer after that. You turn in his arms and throw yourself at him in a frenzy with fists and nails, wanting to hurt him as much as he hurt all the people of Middle-Earth and you. You want to hurt him so much that he will feel it in every tiny part of himself, so he will be able to feel your own pain and despair.
You curse him in both elven and general speech; you throw insults at him; you struggle and fight with him. The fact that he stands calmly without losing his composure, taking your blows as if they were nothing, makes you even angrier and more passionate in your efforts to hurt him. You hit him even harder; you want to throw him off balance, drive him insane—just like he just did to you. You feel extremely powerless when you realise that you cannot.
"Have you finished?" He asks, catching your wrists in both hands as your attacks become less frequent and your screams turn into quiet sobs.
He pushes you against the wall and presses you against it, immobilising you. His other hand gently wipes the tears from your cheeks, as if that would somehow ease the ache in your chest. You feel as if the last of your light is dying a slow, painful death with each of his touches.
"Not even close. Let me out. Let me out or I'll go mad. I'll go crazy. I'll make sure every single day of your damn life is a nightmare."
"You won't. I need your light, Y/N. It's the only thing keeping me sane among these stinking orcs. And if you go mad... then we shall go mad here together. As husband and wife. For sickness and for worse. Until we heal all Middle-Earth."
"You are already lunatic." You promise him, twisting your wrists so you can dig your nails into his palms. He hisses slightly, but doesn't remove his hands from you.
"Possibly. But I'm not your monster. I didn't kill them, Y/N. Your little friends should have died, but I spared them. I only took their land from them. I showed mercy, Y/N. For you. Because of you. My wife. Don't you see that? Don't you like the control you have over me, my lady, my light, my sweet and dear wife?" With each new nickname he trails kisses along your temple to your cheek, stopping at the corner of your mouth. "Doesn't that mean more than anything I have done for you?"
"It means nothing. It never meant anything and never will. You have no soul; you have no light. You can't... you can't bond with me... with mine... you won't pollute me."
You shiver as he runs his tongue from your jawline to your neck, stopping suddenly to suck a hickey into your skin. You gasp and bite your lip hard, trying not to let out any more sounds of pleasure, but you can’t just ignore the way he presses himself perfectly against you.
"Oh, Y/N…you know so little of the powers of darkness. I am already one with you. I have been through the ages and always will be. In body and soul, in mind, in dreams, in spirit, in flesh and blood, I will always be a part of you."
He's right. You know he is because you feel him with your whole being. Even hundreds of years apart didn't manage to get you out of the clutches of his influence.
He poisoned your mind through your dreams and entered your body like a venomous poison, starting with your soul and ending with your flesh. And the worst in all this situation was that you didn't know how to stop him.
"You… you promised you would leave me alone. That you wouldn't lift a finger until I called for you, until I came to you myself." You mumble as he pushes you back into the bed.
He straddles you and cups your cheek tenderly in his hand, watching you closely. He plays with you slowly, like a spider that has captured its prey in its web, savouring every moment he can explore your body with his fingers.
"Apparently you needed a little push. Beside that, didn't you ever try to reach me?" He asks, slowly weaving your hand into his. The rings on your fingers mock you more than his words. Because did you really defend yourself with all your might when you landed so easily in his arms? "You will beg for me, Y/N. You will crave my company. I will wait until the memory of any other kindred spirit than me dies in you. I am very patient, Y/N. Ages and aeons have taught me this. I will wait until you have no shelter, no confidant, no friend, no lover left on this world but me."
With that dark promise, he pushes your back down on the bed. He hovers over you, giving you no time to respond. He swallows your every breath hungrily, as if he'll never get to kiss you again, but you both know perfectly well that now that you're finally in his iron grip, it's quite the opposite. He has all the time in the world to destroy you. A thought that, along with the intensity of his kiss, fades inside you as you allow yourself to give in to your darkest, wildest, most ardent desires.
With every kiss that marked your body, every little moan, every soft gasp, you felt yourself sink deeper into the depths of darkness. His fingers caressed your skin, igniting something much more than lust within you.
And even though you love the way he feels against you, digging your nails into his back and tangling your hands in his hair, pulling him as close as you can, wanting and needing him to finally become one with you after all these centuries, you don't give in to him completely.
You knew what he was like, what he was capable of, and what sweet lies his lips could tell as they caressed your breasts, peppering every inch of your exposed skin in a frenzy of kisses as his fingers prepared you for him. You could moan and hold on to him tightly, pretending he had you all to himself as the edge of his wedding ring brushed against your walls, but deep down, every little connection to him made you want to fight him even more.
But you'll play smarter next time. You were a diligent student, and he's just taught you a very important lesson. Patience is golden. So you'll wait. Wait until he believes he's completely tamed you, that you'll willingly become his king, his Queen of the Rings. You'll make him believe you're his and his alone, and at the right moment you'll plunge the dagger into his Mordor-black heart.
You cry out and bite his shoulder when, just as you think about plunging the dagger into him, he thrusts his length into your wet, aching walls. And the Valar above, if this were to be a sin, then you no longer wish to remain holy and pure.
As he begins to thrust into you with all his strength, no longer holding back the lust and desire suppressed for years, you wonder if this is the ecstasy elves feel when they return from this world and become one with the light of the Valar. If not, you are glad he has led you far away from that path.
He whispers something to your ear in black speech, but to you these are just fragments of meaningless words, as your head buzzes with the flood of feelings he gives you. He is relentless in his conquest of you, and for a moment you truly feel utterly defeated and at his mercy. It is only when the blood from his arm—from the exact place where you bit him—runs down your chest that you remember that this is not the end for you. You will not submit to him. Ever. He may have won you through deception, but he will never extinguish the fire within you—the light that may not have been as pure but still blazed beneath the surface of your skin.
"Bind... yourself to me." He grunts between his hard thrusts, trembling as he nears the edge. You don't know if it's a command or a needy cry of the desperate, lonely immortal, but you know that if your plan is to succeed, you must give him part of yourself he could hold on to...
“Halbrand!” You moan when he suddenly slides his hand between you and stimulates your clit, teasing you and bringing you closer to your pleasure, caressing you the way you used to do in the dark of night with him in mind.
"Mairon." He breathes shakily, his tone bordering on pleading. You shiver, realising what he's just revealed to you. The name he didn't give himself. The one he had no control over. And maybe, if the circumstances were different, if he'd won you over differently, you'd appreciate more how... sensitive to you he had to become to share something like that. "My light... Mairon." He doesn't ask. He never does. But in that moment, you could take it as his prayer to you. A plea from the depths of his heart, where there's a shred of light left. Which you know perfectly well there isn't. Or at least you want to believe that he's completely rotten to the core. Otherwise, he could truly love you. And knowing that would destroy you.
"Mairon." You moan as you both fall apart and you open yourself up to him, doing what he asked of you - bonding yourself to him with flesh and blood.
He collapses on top of you, trapping you in the tight embrace of his arms. He presses his mouth to your temple, his nose in your hair as he inhales and absorbs every last bit of you, wanting to memorise this moment forever and etch it into the memory of his mind, into his very being.
You allow it. For both him and yourself, to enjoy this stolen moment of peace between you two.
Because Sauron forgot one important thing. That in the glow of your light he can both bask and burn. And since you can no longer remain holy and good like Galadriel, since that path of light was blocked for you from the day you met him and the Valar have turned their back on you, refusing to protect you and defend you against him, then you will become much worse than all of them.
Middle-Earth should beware of the new Lady of the Rings.
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lumosinlove · 24 days ago
Text
Seeking hope and happiness, especially today, and found some in these three...
On The Line
Part Six
~
New York was much as Logan remembered it. This city seemed to do nothing but change, so its fast paced lights and sidewalks always seemed the same. Finn refused to stay anywhere but Manhattan, but if his happy expression as he stood at their suite’s large windows while sipping his coffee resulted in earlier mornings for the both of them, Logan didn’t care.
He poured a cup of his own and joined him at the window. Central Park’s leaves hadn’t turned yet. Early joggers and cyclists were out. People walked their dogs. The world felt awake and happy, and Finn’s arm around his waist was warm.
The qualifiers were over, the first rounds blown through. The semifinals were today. Logan had taken out Winter easily to get past the quarterfinals, and today he’d go up against Luke. Leo had fought hard to get through Black and succeeded, which had upset and surprised everyone—even those who were hoping for another grueling Tremblay-Knut match up in the final.
Logan knew he should be nervous for tonight’s match. He had to focus on Luke, who had a way of sneaking up on people. Instead, all he could think about was the prospect of meeting Leo in the finals.
“He sleeping?” Finn asked.
“Shower,” Logan said. “He was singing last I checked.”
“Singing what?”
“I don’t know.”
Finn scoffed. “Yes, you do.”
“Willow.”
Ah-ha.”
Logan rolled his eyes, but settled his head against Finn’s chest. The park looked so peaceful. The runners knew just where they were going around the circular track of the lake. The dog walkers would soon make their way back home. Logan didn’t know what would happen tonight—if he’d make it, or if he would lose this chance at another title. He wondered when he would get tired of chasing titles. It hadn’t quite happened yet. Something still ignited in his chest when he thought about winning. It was similar to the feeling he got when he thought about those two, prized first kisses he’d received. He liked Finn in the stands. He liked the grueling training Finn designed for him.
“How you feeling?” Finn asked, scratching his fingers through Logan’s hair. “You’re playing good. Smooth. I’m proud.”
Logan nodded, settling more of his weight against him. “I’m good.” He hesitated, but Finn would find out sooner or later. Logan would end up blurting it out in a different moment just like this one. “Nervous.”
“I know,” Finn said. “But we knew this was always a possibility.”
“But now it’s close. And real.”
“Oh, you’re so sure you’re going to take Luke.” When Logan just looked at him, Finn laughed. “Yeah, okay, killer.”
“I don’t want to hurt Le.”
Finn stayed quiet for a moment. Logan closed his eyes, letting him mess with his hair, rub his neck, do anything he wanted while he thought. One time he accidentally started doing it when a few reporters caught up with them around the practice courts, and there hadn’t been a camera there but they had sure gotten a few laughs.
“You’re not hurting anyone, Lo. You’re doing your job. Leo will be in the game longer than you. He’s talented and driven and younger.” Finn looked down at him. “I think the only thing that would hurt him is you…like, going easy on him or something.”
Logan scoffed. “Going easy?”
“Not that you would. God knows you’re too stubborn for that.”
Logan let his eyes unfocus, filled only with the green and brown smudges of the park far below. A siren wailed somewhere—a sound he always associated with the beginning of a grueling hardcourt season. He already knew Finn would be setting up multiple massage appointments for him—and thought about asking Finn to do it himself like he sometimes did.
“I want to beat him. That’s there, just like in practice,” Logan said carefully. “I just… I need a way to separate it.” Logan ran his hand down Finn’s arm until he reached his wrist. He traced over the taut tendons there from holding his coffee. “I don’t remember how I did it with you. I just—I need it to be about the game and not about us because…”
Finn’s fingers paused from messing with his hair. His thumb brushed Logan’s eyebrow, and Logan took the cue and looked up at him.
“Because I love him,” Logan whispered.
A new sort of flame caught behind Finn’s eyes. His laugh was soft, satiny, and he cupped Logan’s chin in light fingertips.
“Ouais,” Logan whispered against Finn’s mouth. “Finn, I do, I do…” Finn was hushing him, smiling, nodding, then kissing him.
“Shower’s free,” Leo’s voice said.
Logan looked to see him with a towel around his waist and another in his hands, drying off his hair roughly. The droplets of water on his chest shone as brightly as the gold chain around his neck.
“I mean,” Leo continued, grinning. “Technically, it was free while I was in it, too. If we’re covering all our bases here.”
“I have to shower,” Finn said, setting his coffee down. “So, why are you toweling off?”
Leo laughed and threw the towel in a perfect straight snap to Finn’s chest.
Finn just grinned, grabbing his face for a sloppy kiss as he passed by. He turned. “Lo, eat a light breakfast and stretch now so we can get some hitting in early. And Le…” He stopped in his tracks, halfway through the bathroom doorway before he retraced his steps and took Leo around the waist for a slower, softer kiss. It left his shirt damp. He hooked a finger in Leo’s gold chain. “See you for lunch?”
Logan still managed to forget Leo wasn’t coming down to the courts with him more often than not. He’d grown so used to spending every single moment together. Seeing him across the practice courts, alone, and tall, and beautiful, felt so, so strange. Sometimes Finn had to stop Logan from crossing the lines at the sound of Leo’s coach’s harsh barks at him…Sometimes Logan had to stop Finn.
Leo bit his lip, shoulders falling some, and shook his head. “Probably not.”
Logan frowned. He took it all back. This was the hardest part. The days where they hardly saw each other. “When?”
“I’ll stick around after I play Lupin,” Leo said, offering a smile as he wiped at the water he’d gotten on Finn’s shirt. “Watch you kick Luke’s ass.”
Logan brightened. “You will?” What if you lose? There was no way Leo’s team would want him out at Logan’s match for the camera to find if he lost.
“Fuck ‘em,” Leo said, reading his mind, then looked at Finn. “But I probably shouldn’t sit with you.”
Finn’s mouth pulled to the side unhappily, but he nodded. “I know…All right, well, have a late dinner with us?”
“Gotta ask coach,” Leo said. “But I want to. Will you text me where you guys end up?”
Logan set his coffee down too, mostly untouched. “Le, we won’t leave without you. Tell your team your having dinner with—with friends, if you have to.”
“They can’t deny you us.” Finn brushed his knuckles down Leo’s cheek. “We’re yours.”
“Sweetheart…” Leo caught Finn’s hand and kissed it. “You are.”
But Leo sighed, and it sounded so heavy and exhausted that Logan wanted to take them both back to his house, back to the sun and the pool, and the open kitchen that wouldn’t ever feel the same without Leo’s happy humming in it.
Logan crossed the room and fit into Leo’s other side. He settled his palm on his neck, making Leo look at him. I love you. I love you.
“I’ll try,” Leo said. He put his hand over Logan’s. “You know I’ll try.”
~
Leo won his match. Logan caught the end of it on the warm-up room televisions while rolling out his back on the mats. Luke was on the other side of the room. Maybe they would have been watching together, had they not been about to play, but Logan was glad for the quiet. Finn was off somewhere preparing Logan’s drinks and fruit. He’d started leaving little messages on the insides of bottle caps and the back of Logan’s plastic forks. Love you. The camera had already caught one that said you’re hot and so he’d been sticking to love. Logan had realized that the camera caught it and had shown it on the big screen once the crowd laughed, so he’d made a point of tapping it, eyes on the camera, and pointing to himself. That had won him big media points. One headline had even read Heart Grew Three Sizes That Day.
Leo was doing well. He looked strong and energetic, bouncing lightly on the balls of his feet while he waited for a serve. Logan paused, letting himself rest with his neck on the roller as he took him in. He looked devastating in the outfit his sponsors had chosen. All black, all the way to the headband tied around his golden hair.
His returns were like water. He hit a backhand, forehand, backhand, before whipping the ball down the line so perfectly that Logan had to inhale and close his eyes, pushing the roller from his neck to shoulders. The perfect dig into his sore muscles couldn’t come close to Leo’s hands on him, especially with Finn’s dark eyes watching the two of them over Leo’s shoulder.
“I know what you’re think-ing a-bout,” Finn’s sing-song voice came.
Logan opened his eyes to see Finn standing there. He held a clear cup of fruit, and three water bottles. One was clear, untouched. The other was orange, filled with vitamin C, the third pink with hydration powder.
“Ha,” Finn said. He set the bottles down as he crouched by Logan’s side. “I was right, I can tell.”
Logan pushed himself up to sit. “You were right.”
“Actually. You were,” Finn said. He twisted a bottle cap off and flashed its reverse at him.
I <3 him 2
~
From the court, Logan found Leo in in the crowd easily, smiling and accepting congratulations for his win. He had shed the black, sponsored clothes. For Logan, he was sunny in white and light blue. Only a small smile and a slight flutter of his fingers let Logan know Leo had seen him, too. Hi, it might have said. Or, good luck.
When Logan looked to Finn, Finn flashed him a thumbs up and patted a hand over his chest. You got this. Love ya.
Logan liked all of his and Finn’s secret messages to each other while he was on court. He wanted more of that with Leo. He wanted to be able to know for sure what ever inch of Leo meant. Every movement. He wanted Leo to know in turn that he had seen him, that he—
“Time violation,” came the umpire’s voice.
Logan blinked. Around him the audience was murmuring. He jerked his head up to the chair. The umpire was looking at him impatiently. He didn’t remember coming to stand at the baseline, but he found himself holding the ball close to his racket like he was about to bring it up for a serve. How long had he been standing that way? He looked at Finn, who was now standing up and had concern written all over his face. Lo?
Leo. Logan found him in the crowd again. Sweet-eyed. Just as concerned. Nodding at him. What did that mean? I know? It’s okay? I understand? You got this?
Logan bounced the ball, once, twice, caught a glimpse of Luke’s taken off-guard face, and served. Ace. No one could touch that shot from him. Maybe Leo could.
Leo definitely could. With his reach, with his step, with his glorious elegance. Logan narrowed in again. This was his game. His war within as his body fought to reach the finals—even while his mind dreaded playing Leo. And longed for it.
Luke put up a fight, but he simply wasn’t as quick. Logan’s win came to him easily in the third set, off a slice that cut the ball to drop right over the net.
“Game, set, match, Tremblay,” echoed through the stadium.
Luke met him at the net, clasping his hand and slapping him on the back.
“Nice one. You good?” Look said in his ear.
“I’m in love,” Logan said.
Luke pulled back, giving him a look, then laughed. “Lucky you, then, Tremblay.”
~
Finn was waiting for him in the tunnel, as usual. Instead of the usual hard hug—which Logan had been looking forward to—he put oh-so gentle hands to Logan’s face, looking between his eyes for signs of harm.
“You okay?” he asked softly. “What happened with that time violation? You just…You just stood there for a second, I thought you were gonna pass out on me or something.”
Logan shook his head. “Where’s Leo?” Then, surprising himself, he laughed. He took Finn’s face in his hands, a mirror, and kissed him hard. “Where is he?”
“I…” Finn laughed, too, shaking his head. “I don’t know, maybe waiting for the car if he got away—”
Logan wrapped his arms tightly around Finn’s neck. He pressed a kiss to Finn’s cheek. “I love you, mon Rouge. Mon coeur, lumière, éternité…”
Finn’s hands pressed into his back. “I love you. God, I love you, too, but Lo, just say you’re good. Say it to me.”
“I am,” Logan said, tucking his face into his neck. “I am.”
Logan tried not to appear as insane as he felt when he was stopped to sign autographs. He was probably full on grinning in photos with fans more than he had in his entire career. Finn stood a step apart, like a watchful bodyguard. He signed a few autographs and took a few pictures of his own. He placed a hand low on Logan’s back and guided him out of the arena towards where the car would be waiting.
And there he was. Logan felt like some string had been cut then refastened. All the parts of him yearning to get to Leo in that crowd, standing frozen on that court, tethered themselves to the golden boy waiting at the curb.
He would have kissed him right there. He would have willed the world’s attention their way—but first them. Just them. First, this had to be theirs.
He didn’t have to call out Leo’s name. He heard them coming and turned. The grin he gave Logan was filled with the win he himself had under his belt.
He slipped his phone into his pocket. “Late dinner, yeah? Tastes fifty times better after a win.” When Logan got close, Leo wrapped an arm around his shoulders and leaned in, away from the cameras. “Good game, Lo. You all right?”
Logan nodded and yanked open the door of the car. He guided Leo through, then Finn, who went with a wink.
The car was dark, darker than the night was outside with its people and camera lights. The door shut and took the noise with it. Finn and Leo sat in the seats opposite Logan. There was a driver, Finn was giving him a restaurant name, but Logan didn’t care. Leo had a hand on Finn’s thigh, accepting a kiss.
“He’ll say he’s fine, but you tell me,” Leo said. “Is he okay? On the court, I thought—”
Logan leaned across the pristine black carpet of the car. He steadied himself on the smooth leather seat with one hand, his other high on Leo’s thigh, and kissed Leo’s surprised mouth.
“Okay,” Leo mumbled, steadying Logan with two hands on his waist. “Moving car? Seatbelts?”
“If you’re in the stands, I want you in my box,” Logan said. “If I’m in the stands, I want to be in your box.” He feathered lighter kisses up Leo’s cheek. “I want to sit next to Finn. I want you to be able to hear us when you go for a towel. I want to be able to hear you both.”
Leo sent Finn a look through the kisses, smiling. “Okay…”
“I don’t care what your team thinks. I don’t care if they think I’m listening, or Finn’s plotting and stealing.” Logan pulled back to look down at him. “If they think I would use you in that way, they’re stupid.”
“You and adrenaline are quite the cocktail,” Leo said, but he was blushing.
Logan let himself fall back into his own seat. “And you look perfect in black.”
“A crazy cocktail, but he speaks the truth.” Finn held out a water bottle to Logan. “Drink that whole thing. Even the dregs, I’m watching you, Tremblay.”
Logan took the bottle, shaking up the hydration powder inside. “What do I get if I do?”
Finn just smiled. He was unwrapping silver foil from a piece of blue peppermint gum gum and he popped it into his mouth. “I’ll blow you in the restaurant bathroom.”
Logan blinked. “Really?”
Finn reached forward and flicked him on the forehead.
They reached Manhattan again quickly enough, and curled into the twisting streets of the West Village. Finn perked up, happy to be on familiar ground and popped the car door.
“After you,” Leo said, just as Logan motioned for him to go first. “Oh—ha. Lo, go.”
Logan narrowed his eyes. “You.”
“Not that this isn’t adorable, but…” Finn leaned down. “If I’m hungry, you guys must be starving.” He held out his hand to Leo. “Guess what they have here?”
Leo put his hand in Finn’s. “What?”
“Deconstructed chocolate cake,” Finn said, helping him out.
“What the fuck is that?” Logan asked, following.
“Sugar. You’ll love it.”
Logan sent Leo a look as Finn jogged ahead and disappeared between large, wooden doors. Inside, Logan caught a glimpse of windows lined with candles. Leo would look gorgeous.
“That was pretty sweet back there,” Leo said. He took his hand as they walked. “You sure you’re all right?”
“I was fine on the court,” Logan said, pulling the door open. “I was just thinking.”
“About?” Leo asked.
The candlelight was already hitting him, and Logan thought about telling him right there in this doorway with Finn and a—blushing—waiter looking expectantly at them.
“Just thinking,” Logan said. “All good things.”
“Um,” the waiter tucked her hair behind her ear. “This way.”
“Thanks so much,” Finn beamed.
“Classic O’Hara,” Leo whispered. He moved Logan’s hand from his left to his right and placed his hand low on Logan’s back. “But we both won today. Who’s he gonna let taste the wine?”
Logan laughed. “It’s going to be you.”
“Why?”
“Just a feeling I have.”
~
It didn’t feel like a day off. Not without Leo there. The two female finalists were playing their match today, and at dinner Logan had been relieved at the idea that he’d have a whole day off with Leo before they had to go against each other—until Leo told them his coach wanted him to stay away. 
He woke up earlier than usual and in a too empty room. Finn, warm and solid against his back—but no Leo. He wasn’t sure why he was even awake until he felt the next stroke of fingers through his hair, absentminded and soft. It would put him straight back to sleep soon.
“Rouge,” Logan mumbled. His voice wasn’t quite there yet, coming out a gravely sort of whisper.
“Sorry,” Finn whispered back. “I was just looking at you. Go back to sleep.”
Logan pushed back against him. “I’m turned away.”
“I was looking at the rest of you.”
The sheets were near his hips now that he thought about it. Finn’s hand ran down the dip of his ribs and waist.
Logan settled into the feeling, but when Finn’s fingers moved back to his hair, he sighed and rolled onto his back, getting a hand under Finn’s head to pull him onto his chest. He closed his eyes, pressed five hard kisses to Finn’s temple, and felt Finn let out a long sigh.
“What’s up?” Logan asked.
“Leo. If there was any day he should have been able to be with us, it was today, when we have nothing going on, and the training is light because you play tomorrow.” Finn’s fingers began drumming on his chest, restless. A rare show of nerves. “He should be here right now.”
Logan could see Finn in Nice. In his library nook for the first time. Head in his hands, finally allowing himself to cry away an old life to let the new one in. This, he thought, was a version of it. Worries, brimming over because they had not been let out.
He passed his fingers through Finn’s hair. Kissed his temple and his forehead and the bridge of his nose. “It’s not your fault.”
“I should have talked to his team—”
“Non,” Logan said. “They’re angry people. I think. That wouldn’t have helped. But, hey. Look at me.”
Finn did. Sleepy brown eyes. He traced a thumb under one lower set of fair eyelashes. There was lilac there.
“No more worrying,” Logan whispered. He brushed his mouth, feather-light, over the delicate skin just under Finn’s eye.
“I’m not worried—no, I am.”
“It gets like this when you’re stressed.” Logan kissed his cheek, then the corner of his mouth. “It’s gorgeous, but it’s not good for you.”
Finn sighed and let Logan press him back into the pillows to be kissed. His jaw. His neck. “He’s not happy. I mean, he’s happy with us. But in the game. In this life. He used to be happier. At the Wimbledon Ball. He was happier.”
“How do you know? We weren’t seeing a lot of him then.” Logan’s mouth found the valley between his collarbones. Was there anything better than this? It woke him up like coffee, and settled him down like nothing else. Sometimes, panicking on the court, he pictured this. Soft and unhurried. Usually, Leo was there for him to kiss, too. “Let’s get dressed. Then call him. Tell him he has to have breakfast with us.”
Finn smiled. “What, or else?”
“Or else I…” Logan tried to think of something good, but honestly he wasn’t meant to be awake this early. He pressed his face into Finn’s neck, his hand to his cheek. He inhaled, kissed him there, then pulled back and kissed him properly. “I love him.”
Finn smiled. “I love him, too.”
It rang. Rang and rang.
“Hey, it’s Leo, sorry I missed you!”
Again. Logan leaned his forehead against the warm window pane, standing in a square of sun coming into their room.
“Hey, it’s Leo, sorry I missed you!”
“Fuck.” Logan turned, waiting for the beep.
Finn watched his face as he pulled a t-shirt over his head. His skin was still slightly damp from his shower and Logan, worried as he was, enjoyed the way it stuck to his chest.
“Hi, Le,” Logan said. “It’s us. Just wondering where you are…”
“Missing you,” Finn mumbled, bending down to lace up his shoes.
“We miss you, we are going to get breakfast at the place. Okay. Lo—Okay, cool.” Finn’s head snapped up with an open-mouthed smile. Logan flushed. “Okay, come find us, or we’ll find you.”
He hung up fast, staring at his phone. Finn crossed the room, taking Logan’s face in his hands.
“You almost said—” he began to say, laughing through the words.
Logan pushed up on his toes and kissed him silent. He pulled back, knowing his eyes were wide, and pressed three fingers to Finn’s mouth. “Quiet.”
Finn gave his chin a little jerk and took Logan’s fingers in his mouth, smiling around the gentle bite. Logan rolled his eyes and pulled his hand away.
“C’mere, lover.” Finn wrapped an arm around Logan’s shoulders. “I’ve got the room key. I’m taking you to a big breakfast full of eggs, ham, and calling Leo every five minutes.”
~
Finn got restless again and they had barely taken a sip of their coffees. Logan could tell. What they had started calling “the” place was a small coffee shop that Finn knew. It made generous omelettes with sides of potatoes and greens. Spicy beans and fried eggs with tortillas—Leo’s favorite. Logan had stared at it at the menu, wondering if ordering it would make him arrive faster.
A plate with a steaming chocolate croissant appeared in front of him, and Finn pressed a kiss to his cheek.
“There you go, sweetheart.” Finn slid into his seat. “I ordered for us. But I didn’t want to sit here with you while you’re hangry and drinking your coffee-milk, so…”
Logan shoved him, but Finn just pulled their chairs together and took out his phone. Logan ripped off a piece of the croissant and watched Finn find Leo’s contact. When he held it up to his ear, Logan watched Finn’s face. Hopeful. He caught Logan’s eye and put a hand on the back of his neck, squeezing.
“Hi,” Finn said, but the sigh in his voice told Logan no one had answered. “Hey, Sunshine. Us again. We’re here. Just…wondering where you are.” Finn looked at Logan, mouth pulling to the side. “Let us know.” He ran a thumb over Logan’s bottom lip. “Okay. Okay, love you, bye.”
Finn set his phone down, hand falling down to Logan’s lower back. “Maybe he’s sleeping and we’re assholes trying to wake him up.”
“It’s almost eleven.”
“Yeah…” Finn picked up the water pitcher on the table and filled Logan’s glass. Logan picked it up again and filled Finn’s.
“What did you order?”
“Got us the ham and tomato omelettes. Sound good?”
“Ouais. Thanks.”
They quieted, then laughed a little at each other when they realized they were both waiting for the phone to ring.
Finn was worrying the straw of his iced coffee when he set the cup down hard. “Oh my God.”
“Hm?” Logan got to the chocolatey center of the croissant and carefully bit so he got enough chocolate and enough pastry.
“Logan…”
Logan raised his eyebrows at his full name from Finn’s mouth. “Finn…” He mimicked his tone, but got serious when Finn put both of his hands in his hair, gripping. “Finn. Quoi?”
“I just—oh my God.”
“What?”
“I just…” Finn’s hands moved over his mouth. “Did I?”
Logan set the pastry down. “Did you what? Did you fucking what?”
He looked so panicked that Logan started looking around, trying to figure out the problem. But Finn grabbed his hand, pulling his attention back to him.
“At the end of the message, I said…” Finn whispered. “I said love you.”
Logan blinked. “What?”
They both stared down at Finn’s phone and its dark screen.
“Shit,” Logan said. “Wait, ouais. You—you did. Finn.”
Finn melted, folding his head into his arms and slumping on the table.
Logan laughed, but he wasn’t sure if it was actually funny. That wasn’t how he’d planned for Leo to know. Of all the opportunities they’d had. Dinners and late nights and soft afternoons.
“And after you made fun of me for almost saying it.”
“Shut up,” Finn mumbled into his arms. When he lifted his head, his face was flushed. “It just slipped out. I—shit. I was looking at you and your stupid chocolate, and then I saw the hot sauce on the table and I was thinking about him and the amount he puts on his fucking eggs—”
“You said okay, love you, bye.”
“I know that!”
“Two omelettes?”
They both looked up at the waiter, who took a step back—probably at the panicked look in their eyes.
“Um,” he said. “No? Not omelettes?”
“No, no,” Finn said. “I mean, yes, omelettes. Thank you so much.”
The man set the plates down with a look on his face like he wanted to get out of there. It probably had something to do with the way Finn still had his head in his hands.
Logan rubbed a hand down his back. “It’s fine. Baby, it’s fine. We do love him.”
“And he finds out on a voicemail?” Finn’s voice came out muffled through his hands. “So bad. Jesus.”
“Maybe he’s not gonna listen?”
“Maybe.” For a moment, Finn sounded almost placated, but he jerked his head up. “No phone.”
Logan nudged his plate at him. “Eat something.”
Finn turned his body towards him in his chair. “You’re playing tomorrow.”
“Finn, what the fuck?”
“I want you eating and drinking and resting.”
“Finn, what…” He gestured to his food. “Ouais. What does this look like?”
“When do you not have your phone?”
“When I’m…” Logan trailed off, finally understanding. “Non. That would be insane.”
Finn stood, gesturing to the waiter. “Let’s get this to go.”
They arrived at the practice courts in the heat of the day. Logan heard Leo before he saw him. He heard him like he’d heard him every day during those perfect months at his house. Leo had a rhythm all his own. His footwork. Quick shuffles, short squeaks of his sneakers on the hard court.
But Logan should not have been able to hear it right then. Not less than twenty hours before the U.S. Open final.
“Fuck,” Finn said, pushing a fence open. “He’s on the court.”
“Again!” they heard Leo’s coach shout.
“Fuck,” Finn cursed. “I’m gonna kill that guy.”
Logan watched him storm towards the next fence, past another player practicing with a hitter—who missed his shot when he saw Finn.
“Wait,” Logan called. “Rouge!”
Finn stopped, but barely. Every muscle in his body strained towards Leo’s court just ahead. Logan could see him now, just barely through netting and bushes and low court walls. Logan caught glimpses of blond hair as he jogged towards Finn.
“What?” Finn asked. “He shouldn’t be out there.”
Logan put his hands on his shoulders. “Stop. I know. But stop.”
Leo was on the baseline. His coach stood beside him, talking fast while Leo’s chest heaved.
“Let me go alone,” Logan said. “If it’s you, his team will get defensive. If it’s me, it’s not their business. It’s player to player.”
Finn looked conflicted. “I…” He looked towards Leo, too. “He shouldn’t be out there.”
“I know.”
“I do love him.”
“I know,” Logan said softly. “Look. I’ll get him in the locker room. You’ll be waiting there. Let me.”
He left Finn, all the while sure he would break and follow him. But he didn’t. Logan made it past another court and opened the chain-fence door into the sidelines of Leo’s. Leo was mid-rally, so his coach saw him first. The man scowled. Logan scowled back.
Leo’s hitter sent the ball into the net.
“Leo,” the coach called. Leo looked at him as he rolled out one of his ankles gingerly. A sharp nod directed his attention to Logan and, despite everything, the heat and how tired he obviously was, a smile broke over Leo’s face and jogged over.
“Hi,” Leo said, but held out his hand. “I want to, but don’t hug me.” He jerked his head subtly towards his team. “They already think I’m going to be soft on you tomorrow and I don’t…” Leo swallowed. He let out a breath. “Anyway. Hi. What are you doing here?”
Logan’s whole chest hurt. “What about I kiss you instead?”
That, at least, made Leo smile. One blue eye squinted shut against the sun. “What are you doing here?”
“What are you doing here?” Logan fired back.
He squirted Logan lightly with his water bottle. “You spying on me, Tremblay?”
“You didn’t answer my question,” Logan said.
“That’s cute. A little desperate, but cute.”
“Leo.”
“I’m training,” Leo said. “I don’t know if you heard, but I’m going up against Logan Tremblay tomorrow. He’s pretty good.”
“Which is why you should be resting.”
Leo was quiet for a moment, then he looked around. “So, where’s Finn freaking out right now?”
Logan bit the inside of his cheek and looked towards the locker room building.
“You two are sweet, you know that?” Leo reached out and briefly stroked a knuckle down the center of Logan’s chest. “Look, I’m almost finished here. Then I’ll find you. I know how to take care of myself. Finn knows that, too, or he should.”
“He actually—We actually need to talk to you about something else.”
Leo frowned. “Oh?”
“Just—” Logan itched to take his hand. “Come? Please? Just for a moment.”
Leo still looked concerned, but he nodded. “Okay. Hold on.”
His coach had his arms crossed. His narrow eyes tracked Leo as he came towards him. The argument was hushed and intense. It ended with Leo grabbing his bags with an angry sort of strength. Logan knew how heavy those bags got. Leo swung them onto his shoulders like they were nothing, just beautiful baby blue and white leather there to make his hair turn even more golden.
When he reached Logan again, he looked more tired than before.
“Give me,” Logan said. Leo didn’t protest when Logan took his racket bag from him and shouldered it himself.
“You’re not supposed to be seen with Adidas.”
“They can kiss my ass.”
“Lo—”
“Then they can explain why they have a problem with me helping my boyfriend.”
Leo lightened up at those words like he always did. As they ducked away from the court, he wrapped an arm around Logan’s shoulders and kissed him. Logan wanted to whisper the phrase into his skin until it stayed with him forever, kept in that sweet freckle just under his chin.
Finn was pacing when they walked in, and then he was rushing over, holding Leo’s shoulders.
“What the hell are you doing out there in the sun? You’ve got a match tomorrow.”
“Backhand,” Leo said. He glanced at Logan. “Mine’s not as good. Coach wants…” He sighed. Annoyance was all over him. Stress. Logan hated it. He wanted to smooth it all away with his fingers, wanted to touch every inch of him to make sure it wasn’t there. “I don’t know what he wants. Oh. By the way…” He leaned forward and planted a soft, quick kiss to Finn’s worried mouth. “Hi.”
Finn pulled him in, leaving one arm open for Logan.
“I’m so sweaty, sorry,” Leo said.
Logan pushed his nose into his chest. Okay, love you, bye.
“Missed you this morning,” Finn said. “We thought…We thought we’d get to…”
There were a million ways Logan would have finished that sentence. Sleep in, breakfast, kiss, lounge, shower, read, talk, sex, doze, stretch, breathe.
“So did I,” Leo sighed. Logan felt his fingers in his hair, a kiss pressed to his forehead and held there. “Fuck. So did I.”
“Do you have your phone?” Finn asked. “With you?”
“It’s in my bag.” Leo arched an eyebrow. “Why?”
Finn just stared at him, but Logan saw each thought pass in his face as if he’d said it.
Leo saw it, too, though he didn’t know enough to understand and laughed instead, unsure. “What the hell is up with you two?”
“We’re in a locker room,” Finn whispered to Logan.
Leo looked between them. “O’Hara, what is happening?”
“I cannot do this in a locker room.”
“Do what?”
Finn groaned, then laughed, then sat down on a bench and covered his face. “I left you a voicemail today. Ugh. Well. We left you a few.”
“I’m sorry,” Leo began but Finn shook his head.
“No, no. It’s okay. It’s just—the last one I left…” His hands dragged down his face lightly, making his brown eyes look big and sad. “Ugh. Leo. I’m such an idiot.”
Leo sat down beside him, hand on Finn’s knee. “Finn…You’re not. You’re not an idiot.” He glanced up at Logan, all concerned and blue, sweat still dripping down from the ends of his hair. “The last one you left…what?”
Finn straightened. He set his hand over Leo’s. Then he held it in both and brought his knuckles to his mouth.
“When I was hanging up, I told you that I loved you,” Finn said. “And I do.”
Logan wanted to hear him say it again, in that soft way. He sank onto the bench on Leo’s other side, the very same words burning in his chest. He put his mouth to the warm fabric of Leo’s t-shirt shoulder, curling a hand around his bicep. There was a fine tremor to Leo’s muscles. Logan didn’t know if he was tired, or if it was the words, but Leo was shaking, just a little.
Logan couldn’t help it. Where he was tucked against Leo’s shoulder, he smiled. “Leo…”
The laugh jostled Logan first, and then it sounded, light and a little tearful, from Leo’s mouth. He grabbed for Finn’s shoulder, pulling him in for something that was more a smile than a kiss.
“You just blurted that out, huh?” Leo cupped the back of Finn’s neck. “Jesus, O’Hara, you had me so worried there.”
“I love you,” Finn said. “I—Logan…”
Leo laughed louder, freer, as Logan gripped the back of his t-shirt until Leo turned.
Logan swiped a thumb over Leo’s full bottom lip. He just wanted to touch that smile. He kissed him, hard, tasting the sweat from his practice.
“I love you,” Logan whispered. “I was supposed to say it first, I love you.”
“Supposed to?” Finn spluttered.
“Shh,” Logan said into Leo’s mouth. “Look how happy he is, I can taste it.”
“I love you, too,” Leo said. He pressed his nose against Logan’s cheek, then turned back to Finn. “Oh God, I love you, too.”
Logan watched them kiss. Laugh. Dissolve into each other—Finn’s chin on Leo’s shoulder, eyes closed, fingers scratching through the back of his hair. Logan put a hand on Leo’s back and felt his muscles relax. All the tension from the court earlier bled away. And tomorrow…Tomorrow’s match felt very far away.
“Let’s go,” Leo said. “I’m sweaty and hot and in love.”
“Wow, speaking Logan’s language,” Finn said.
Leo laughed, but when he stood he sent an almost nervous glance towards the door. “Quick. Before anyone tries to pull me back out there.”
“You shouldn’t have been out there in the first place,” Finn said.
Leo sighed with a smile. “Finn.”
Finn stood, hands up in surrender. “Let’s get out of here.”
~
Logan could relax because it was the three of them. He was finishing off a plate of pasta and chicken balanced on his thighs. Finn sat with his computer perched on the arm of the couch with Logan’s feet in his lap. One thumb dug perfectly into Logan’s arch. Leo was laying on the ground, stretching out his back and—well. Smiling the whole time.
“I keep thinking about the Wimbledon Ball,” Leo said.
“You scolded me for leading,” Logan said.
“I didn’t scold,” Leo laughed. “I wanted you to know you could trust me.”
Logan sat up and set his plate down on the hotel’s coffee table. He pulled his feet from Finn’s lap—Finn wrapped a hand around his ankle and held on long enough for Logan to lean in and kiss him. Logan pressed down against Finn as that hand smoothed up his calve, behind his knee. Up his thigh, resting on his ass for a moment before settling on his lower back to press them together harder.
Logan smiled against Finn’s mouth, then slipped out of his hold. He made his way to where Leo lay on his back and stood over him, one foot pressed against each of his hips.
“Trust you?” he repeated.
Leo stretched his arms over his head, grinning. He was wearing Finn’s sweatshirt. He’d caught the worn cuffs in his hands and it pulled the hem halfway up his chest. Logan wanted to put his teeth on the cut of his waist, he really did.
“Mhm,” Leo said. “You didn’t. You thought I was trying to get inside your head.”
“You were.” Logan narrowed his eyes. “You just said so—trying to get me to trust you.”
Leo rolled his eyes. “Fine. Fine. But you thought I was trying to beat you. And I wasn’t.” He pulled his arms down. Like Finn, his palms found the back of Logan’s ankles. Then his calves. Then the back of his thighs. Only, Leo pulled gently and Logan lowered himself into straddling his hips. Leo smiled and pushed down on his thighs until Logan let his full weight go. “I wasn’t trying to beat you. I was trying to win you.”
A soft laugh came from the couch. “I knew something had to be up when you blatantly asked to dance with my boyfriend.”
“Would have asked you, too,” Leo said, eyes trained on Logan’s as Logan lowered himself down onto his forearms. They were nose to nose now. “A boy can only find so many excuses in one night.”
“And what are you gonna try to do tomorrow?” Logan asked.
“Oh,” Leo whispered. He picked his head up just enough to capture Logan’s bottom lip gently between his teeth—a pull and release that sent Logan’s hips rocking down against him. “Beat you.”
“Please find the bed,” Finn said absentmindedly. His eyes were on his laptop, and he’d put his glasses on. “Your knees get enough stress as it is. And don’t go crazy. I need you rested. And not sore.” Finn looked over at them and Logan wondered if he knew how red his ears were. “Both of you.”
“I’ll find a bed, if you promise to find us when you’re done with that computer,” Leo shot back.
Finn slapped the laptop shut. “What computer?”
~
Coin toss. They weren’t even playing yet and Logan was already sweating with the sun at his back.
“Mr. Tremblay?” the Umpire presented him with the coin. “You will choose?”
“Heads,” Logan said.
“Very well. Heads. Mr. Knut, you will be tails.”
Logan was trying not to look at Leo too hard, but it was difficult. Every time they caught each other’s eye, they both had to suppress a smile. There was joy in this. Logan dreaded to win and dreaded to lose, but there was joy. Leo across from him. The game he loved. Leo, being his.
The coin flashed in the sun as it got tossed up. It rattled, looping around on its edges for a moment before settling between their feet.
“Tails.” The Umpire looked at Leo. “Mr. Knut, you will…”
“Serve first,” Leo said.
“Knut, first service. Thank you, gentlemen.”
Logan fought the urge to roll his eyes. If Leo thought he was going to get to take a few points off of Logan with that massive serve of his, he was wrong.
It seemed to take ages for the crowd to settle down. New York was always loud, but they were more riled by the idea of of Leo and Logan on the court once again. Logan leaned down to re-tie his shoes and tried to steady his breathing. He turned to look up at Finn, who had a baseball cap on—one of Logan’s sponsors—and was leaning forward on his elbows. He was rubbing his palms together, his eyes on Leo. When he noticed Logan looking, he dropped a wink.
Logan rose and gave his racket a spin against his palm. He bounced twice, then adjusted his feet into a poised stance.
Leo had his ball pressed against his racket, ready. He looked back at Logan once before lowering his gaze to his racket.
“Leo Knut to serve,” the umpire’s voice echoed over the chatter. “Play.”
Leo won the first set. He was gorgeous and lean, and their rallies lasted minute after minute after minute until the crowd was gasping after each stroke. Quite the even match, they were called. Too even, Logan thought. Everywhere else, they would give each other anything the other could possibly want. But not here.
Here, Logan’s t-shirt was soaked in sweat within thirty minutes, and it wasn’t from the heat. They were running each other hard. Leo’s stride equaled Logan’s speed, and his height, Logan’s strength. Logan was frustrated, sure. But he was also having fun. Leo hit a drop shot that had Logan sprinting to the front of the net, only to miss it by its backspin. Leo grinned at him when Logan jokingly hit his palm against his racket in applause. For a moment, it felt like they were back at his house in one of the faux matches Finn set them to.
But it only took three rallies into the second set for Logan to see that something was wrong.
Leo stopped moving well. He wasn’t even walking right. He seemed stiff, and then at changeovers, he spent long seconds with his face hidden in a cold towel.
On Logan’s next break before his serve, he turned away from Leo, wiping his face and wrists with his towel as he looked up at Finn. Finn tapped his thigh and squeezed his hand into a fist. Muscle cramps.
Logan winced, but part of him was relieved. Those were painful, but at least they were short-lived. He made his way back to the baseline and tested out a ball with a few bounces before discarding it and tossing it back towards the ball boy. He glanced up at Leo as he withdrew the second ball from his pocket. He was bringing his knees up to his waist, trying to get the blood flowing. Logan bounced the second ball. His serve clock was winding down and Leo didn’t look ready for his serve. Not at all.
Logan let out a breath, tossed the ball up, and brought his serve down. Ace. Leo barely got his hand back properly. Leo looked behind him, up at his box, and motioned something that Logan couldn’t make out, but what he figured was that he wanted to call for a trainer at the next change-over.
“Ah-ah,” came from Leo’s box. A scolding, horrible sound. Leo’s coach gave his head a sharp shake and he pointed towards the court. Don’t, it seemed to mean.
Finn was standing up in Logan’s box when he looked, his arms crossed. Beside him, Noelle pulled him back into his seat.
He took one more game off of Leo before he couldn’t take it anymore—watching the pained way he walked and the set of his mouth as he tried to hide it.
Logan looked to the chair and raised a finger. “Medic, please.”
The walk to his chair gave him one, tiny second to lock eyes with Leo. Logan wanted to tell him silently to call. Call while I’m calling. He didn’t linger long enough to see if Leo understood. He sat down in his chair, wiped sweat from his face, and looked at Finn. He was leaning back to say something to Logan’s mom. Maybe explaining the trick. Finn would know that Logan had absolutely no reason to call for a trainer.
Even still, a woman came jogging out onto the court. Logan heard the shush and mumble of the crowd as they figured out what was happening. She dropped her heavy supply backpack and knelt in front of Logan’s chair. She had kind eyes, dark hair pulled back into a slick bun, and when she spoke it was with an Australian accent.
“Hi, Mr. Tremblay. My name is Nicola. What can I do for you, sir?”
“Nothing,” Logan said in a low voice, and put his foot out. “Just check my ankle. Take your time about it.”
Nicola looked confused. “I…what?”
“Please,” Logan said.
She looked confused still, but slowly she reached out for Logan’s ankle. She began pressing at it tenderly, like she would if she had been checking for pain. Eventually, her eyes went to Leo’s chair. So, she’d figured it out.
“Is he calling?” Logan whispered.
“Yes, sir,” Nicola said.
Logan didn’t look Leo’s way, but relief flooded him. Another medic came out onto the court, heading Leo’s way. Logan didn’t care if anyone else saw through his trick. If he beat Leo, he didn’t want to do it like this.
He could only ask Nicola to pretend for so long, but when he looked over he saw that Leo had his eyes closed while the trainer dug his thumbs into his thigh in what was probably a good-pain way. Logan paced the baseline to keep his own muscles warm, then heard Finn’s voice in his head and ate half a banana.
When Leo rose to his feet, the crowd applauded, eager for the match to resume. Leo’s box got loud, too, but the tone sounded pressing, not encouraging. It made Logan want to make a noise complaint just so he could inadvertently tell them to fuck off.
One look at Finn told him everything he needed to know. Play, it seemed to say. Logan knew he was right. All he could do right now that wouldn’t hurt Leo, was play.
He tried to turn off everything but the game. The crowd was hardly there. Leo couldn’t be Leo just then. Logan had to turn him into just another player, or else Logan might looked down to find guilt gnawing its way through his chest. He even stopped looking at Finn. Finn now meant Leo, too, so at least for these few hours, there could be neither of them. There were no faces or features around him, just the yellow blur of the ball and the burn in his muscles as he took each point more easily than the last. This was what it had felt like to play when he had been alone, before Finn. The mechanical motions of the came combined with the small adjustments to strategy—treating his opponent like a machine to be figured out. A bleak headspace filled with gray and numbers. He didn’t like it there anymore. He never had.
When he took the win, it all snapped back in. The noise of the crowd roared into his awareness. The colors and court lights made him squint.
The pained flush on Leo’s face hit him right in the chest.
Logan turned and looked up at Finn. His hat was smushed between his palms, red hair a mess from his fingers. He didn’t exactly look like Logan had just become a U.S. Open Champion. He was on his feet and clapping now, but his eyes looked as exhausted as Logan felt. Imperceptible, if you didn’t know him. But Logan did know him. He didn’t know anything better than he knew Finn O’Hara. Finn hadn’t had the game to lock into. He’d been sitting there watching Leo in pain and Logan forcing himself into a brutal, winning pace.
Logan dropped his racket and rubbed his hands over his face. He should be smiling. He might have, had he not looked to see Leo with one hand on the net as he waited for him.
When Logan reached him, his hand was cold in Logan’s, and his breathing felt shallow as Logan rubbed a palm briefly up and down his back.
“That was some trick,” Leo said, drawing them closer to hide his words from any cameras. “With the trainer.”
“I love you,” Logan said. “Are you okay?”
“I will be,” Leo said. “Go see your family. Oh.” He squeezed Logan tighter for a moment. “I love you, too.”
No one let Logan climb the stands this time, but pointedly directed him to the stairs. He sort of wished Finn would just come to him. He would have all night to see his family. Right then, he wanted a magical sort of door that took him away from all the prying eyes and into Finn’s arms.
Burying his face in Finn’s warm neck when he reached his box would have to do.
“You were going to win,” Finn whispered. “You did so good. Don’t feel guilty, you made that match end as fast as you could.”
“The thing with the trainer,” Logan mumbled.
“I know.”
Logan pulled back to look up at him. Asking. Telling. Imploring.
Finn only nodded, then gave him over to be hugged by his family.
It was excruciating, watching Leo try to fake his way through his speech. He was disappointed. Frustrated. But he was sweet and funny. Logan saw each time a muscle seized up in the way he turned away from the microphone briefly to draw a slow, steadying breath. He saw the way Leo kept one hand on the podium while he gave his runner-up speech. That same hand used Logan for support when they took their trophy photographs. Logan stood ready for him, immovable until Leo pulled away first.
“I’m so grateful to have the support that I do,” Logan said, trying not to wince as his voice echoed back at him around the stadium. “And the amazing talent I get to go up against.” He looked back at Leo. “Every single player on this tour has been in your shoes and all I’ll be thinking about is when we get to play again.”
Logan wanted off the court, he wanted Finn and Leo to himself. He wanted an ice bath and then Finn’s thumbs digging into that one point in his back.
“Finn,” Logan said, then startled back from the microphone as the stadium went wild. He even heard Leo laugh a little from behind him. Logan felt tears claw up his throat and laughed, too. “Leo.”
Because they were one now. Nothing existed without the other.
Leo’s eyes, when Logan found them, had gone a little wide.
“Je t’aime,” Logan said, then waved a hand up to the crowd, who reached back. “Je t’aime, merci.”
~
Finn and Logan didn’t have to agree to find Leo, but he wasn’t where they thought he would be. He wasn’t recovering like Logan had just spent the last thirty minutes doing. He was in a lounge near the locker rooms, sitting on a couch with his long legs bent awkwardly due to the sag of the old sofa cushion. Four people seemed to be trying to talk to him at once.
“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” one of them said under their breath when they saw Finn and Logan. It made Leo look up. He looked tired. So tired. His silver plate trophy was on the coffee table in front of him, casting shimmery reflections across his drawn face.
Finn drew in a breath, about to speak, but Logan gave the back of his t-shirt a sharp tug and stepped forward instead.
“I need a word with Leo,” Logan said.
Leo was on his feet in a second, stepped out from around the table. He was still limping.
“What for?” the coach asked. “We’re in the middle—”
“Players business.”
“His business is my business.”
Leo didn’t look at them. He didn’t even turn around. His eyes were unfocused and trained on Logan’s chest.
“But mine isn’t,” Logan snapped. “Excuse us.”
He didn’t take Leo’s hand. He wanted to drag him out of there by both hands, but he stayed perfectly still with so many eyes on them. That wouldn’t help Leo just then. Obviously, he had already been told that loving each other made them weaker players. Logan wouldn’t give them something to point at. If they thought this made them weaker, they didn’t deserve to see even a glimpse of the strength that flooded Logan every time Leo so much as looked at him.
  So, Logan made to turn away, knowing Leo and Finn would follow.
“O’Hara.”
Finn stiffened beside Logan and looked back over his shoulder. Leo’s team looked like they had been having a silent conversation, but now their eyes were on Finn.
“A word, if you don’t mind,” said the coach, and he scowled at Logan. “Coach business.”
“I have a few minutes,” Finn said. He looked down at Logan. “See you in a second.” His eyes flit wordlessly in the direction of the recovery rooms.
The room was simple. An examination mattress with a cushion against the wall. A side table, a sink, a few stools, and a small, humming refrigerator in the corner whose glass door showed cold water bottles and hydration drinks. Logan went to it while Leo pulled himself up onto the bed with a groan, stretching his legs out. He’d been icing his knee. Logan could see the redness that the cold had left behind.
“I’m…” Logan set the water aside. He wasn’t sure what to say. He put a hand on Leo’s thigh where the redness was and experimental kneaded his thumb into the muscle. When Leo’s eyes closed with pleasure, he did it again.
“I fired them,” Leo whispered.
Logan let out a breath. “You did?”
Leo nodded. His chest rose and fell heavily once, then he opened his eyes and looked at Logan tiredly.
“Maybe I’ll be like you were,” Leo said. “Try it solo. For a while.”
No. Logan hated that idea. He’d done the endless plane rides alone. The hotels, the mornings, the lonely nights that came whether he won or lost. He didn’t want that for Leo. He wasn’t sure Leo would be able to do it. He was a people person, far more so than Logan ever had been. He was like Finn. He liked to talk, to laugh, to be surrounded by others.
“Leo,” Logan began to say, but suddenly, voices from the other room could be heard plain as day. Finn was—
Leo and Logan looked at each other in surprise. Finn was shouting.
“No. Nope, nope, you saw, you saw what was happening! You do nothing? What did you want him to do, push through? He’d been playing for hours, he needed help, that’s what you’re there for, you know that.”
“It’s a fucking cramp! They go away.”
“He needs water, he needs sugar—”
“Hey. Hey, where do you get off trying to tell me—”
“He needs you not to be running him the way you were the day before the match, in the heat, in the sun. He needs you to not be rolling your fucking eyes when he asks for the medic, are you fucking kidding me—
“Oh, fuck off, O’Hara. You can do fuck all with Tremblay, whatever, but Leo’s not one of your fucking whores, all right?”
There was a shocked beat of silence. Leo and Logan stared at each other, wide-eyed. Logan didn’t catch the next thing Finn said, not until he raised his voice again.
“What the fuck did you just say to me?”
“He’s not. Your. Player.”
When Finn spoke next, he sounded dangerous. Truly dangerous.
“That is not,” Finn began, “what you just said.”
If Logan didn’t know him, he would have been just a bit terrified. But he did know him. And he knew the second he came back into this room it would melt. If he was ever rough with the two of them, it only came out as pure pleasure.
“Call Logan that again,” Finn said. “Let’s see what happens. Go ahead.”
“You have no distance,” Logan heard the coach say. “You cannot run a player like you do, you have no discipline, no—”
“Run? Run a player? They’re not machines!”
“They can be! If they’re worked right—”
“They’re not animals either,” Finn thundered. “They’re people.”
“You don’t treat them like people, you treat them like playthings. Your playthings.”
Finn went silent again. Logan covered Leo’s hand with his, Leo did the same to him, and they waited. Waited.
“This can be a lonely life,” Finn finally said. “A very lonely life. And this is the last thing I’ll say to someone like you, but I am the luckiest man in the entire fucking world to have found love, real love, in this game.”
Logan closed his eyes. He felt Leo’s forehead meet his temple and turned into him.
“And if you ever call Logan or Leo ‘things’, or anything else, again, I’ll sweep your fucking world out from under your feet.”
Leo made a quiet, sad sound in his throat and tilted his chin forward to brush their mouths together. He pulled back to look at him.
“We are lucky,” Leo said.
Logan nodded.
Finn came through the door very quiet. He was red, cheeks flushed in his anger, but he looked at Leo so softly. Logan loved that about him. He loved that. Finn set down two cups on the side table, along with a banana.
“Sorry about that Le,” he said.
Leo shook his head, dazed and glancing towards the door. “No. I…”
Finn handed him the cup, then caught Logan’s eye. “Guess I’ve got no more ground to stand on when I tell you not to lose your head?”
“I love you,” Logan said.
Finn pressed a hand over theirs, then reached for a cup.
“Drink this,” he said to Leo. He cracked the banana’s peel. “You like these kind of green, right?”
Leo just stared at him for a moment, then nodded.
Finn pressed it into his hand. “Okay. Eat is slow.” He passed that hand through Leo’s hair. “Okay?”
“I’m sorry he said that to you,” Leo said. He looked at Logan. “God, to both of you, I can’t believe…He knows how much you mean to me.”
“Don’t apologize for him,” Finn said, and that angry flush began to bloom over his cheeks again. “God, I could just…” He rubbed a hand over his face. “Le. Okay. Le.”
Finn sank down on the other side of the PT pallet. He put a hand on Leo’s thigh. “Baby, I don’t—It’s not just that I don’t like the way your team talks to you anymore. I don’t like the way they manage your health. I don’t fucking like it. That, today? That was avoidable.”
Leo looked down, nodding. Logan’s anger flared up so fast that he had to squeeze Leo’s hand hard between his own. The fact that someone could put a look like that on Leo’s face made him want to kill. He couldn’t understand how Finn hadn’t hit Leo’s coach clean across the face. Logan wanted blood on his knuckles as badly as he wanted to curl up into Leo’s side.
“I want to say…” Finn glanced at Logan, who nodded quickly, heart in his throat, then back at Leo. “I’d have to train you two separately. And in different ways. But…I would.” Finn took the empty banana peel and cup and set it down, then took Leo’s hands. “Le, I’d love to be your coach.” Finn paused. “If you want me.”
“Oh…” Leo’s voice was so faint.
Logan was nodding again, even though neither of them were looking at him.
“I’ve been in your shoes as a player,” Finn said. “I’ve leveled up Lo’s game and he was already a master. And you’re brimming with talent and skill and they’re fucking wasting it. I can—”
Leo reached out and put a palm to Finn’s cheek, stopping him. Slowly, his eyes filled with tears. “I fired them tonight.”
Finn straightened. “You did?”
Leo nodded.
“Oh. Then—can I beg instead?” Finn laughed a little, then quieted. He turned his face into Leo’s hand and kissed his palm. His eyes met Logan’s, and Logan felt, all over again, what it had been like for Finn to be his in this way for the first time. “Please, Le.”
“Please? Please?” Leo repeated, and Logan watched him trace Finn’s jaw. “I’ve…always wanted someone like you.”
Finn smiled and it made Logan smile. Love. Real love in this game.
“Okay, hey.” Another kiss to Leo’s palm, then his wrist. “Hey, don’t cry.”
“No, no, I’m just relieved.” Leo’s laugh tumbled out of him and he looked at Logan. “Lo?”
“He wanted this a long time ago,” Finn said. “You should have seen him.”
Logan pulled a face, and Finn touched where his nose wrinkled up. “I don’t know what you mean by that. Of course I want this.”
“Our living room has a new groove from his pacing,” Finn said. “Let’s leave it at that.”
Leo sniffed as he laughed again. “What? But okay.”
“Okay?” Finn looked hopeful still, which was funny because Logan was sure it had been a done deal long before today. Somehow, Leo always seemed to have been theirs. Not knowing him and that foreign, guarded dance in a ballroom, felt long, long ago.
Leo looked at Logan. “You won’t feel strange? Sharing him?”
“I’m pretty sure we’re past that,” Logan said, raising his eyebrows. “And I’m pretty sure he likes it. I know I like it.”
“I mean sharing him professionally.” Leo rolled his eyes and wiped at his cheek. “God.”
“Are we talking about me like I’m not here?” Finn cut in. “Because that’s—fine. But hey, hi.”
Logan reached out and put a hand on Finn’s cheek before moving it to Leo’s. “Yes. I want you to have him as your coach, too. It’s the best decision I ever made.”
“Man oh man,” Finn said. “Boys just want me for my skills.”
“Professional decision.”
“I have a lot of skills,” Finn said. “In a wide variety.”
“Finn,” Leo said.
Finn let out a ha and pulled on of Leo’s ankles into his lap, beginning to massage his calf. Leo groaned, but didn’t pull away. “I am so excited. I am so excited, I love this fucking job.”
Leo had his brows knit as Finn dug his thumbs into his knotted muscle, but he huffed out a laugh. “Are you on the clock right now?”
“No,” Finn said. He propped Leo’s foot on his shoulder and turned his head to bite gently at Leo’s ankle. “Relax your ankle for me.” Leo complied and Finn adjusted his grip to one Logan knew well. His ankle felt twenty times better because of that grip. Leo dropped his head back. Finn flit his eyes to Logan knowingly. “Good. Now come here for a second.”
Finn gently lowered Leo’s ankle back to the bed and took Leo’s hand so he could sit forward. He put one hand on Leo’s chest, right where his heart was. Logan counted the freckles on the back of it, then took the free hand Finn held out to him and counted those, too. Like stars, like the miles he’d run for both of them, he lost count.
“My clock never starts or stops,” Finn said softly. The brown color of his eyes looked melted and beautiful in the dim light. “Same goes for Logan. I care about you. A game doesn’t change that. A green court, a blue court, a clay court with white lines doesn’t change that. Some people might say that’s a bad thing but I don’t care. There is no line for me. If anything, I’m standing on the line so I can reach both sides whenever I want.”
Logan pulled his feet up and pressed himself into Leo’s side. “Rouge.”
“Really,” Finn said, looking between them. “I’m not kidding. I used to think playing tennis was my dream, but this…” He smiled, shaking his head. “This.”
“Same goes for you,” Leo said. “Do you hear me? We’ve got championships on the line, we’ve got a shit load of money on the line.” Leo tilted his chin towards Logan. “This one’s gonna get buckets of attention and shit about his legacy.”
Logan rolled his eyes. “But none of that compares to you. D’accord?”
Finn smiled at them. “So we’re in agreement, then.”
Logan had toed the line for so long between the happiness of winning, adrenaline-soaked and nothing more, and the lonely emptiness of loss. When he’d gotten Finn, he’d saw the lines blur before his eyes and loved it so much that he’d wiped them clean with his own palms. Leo had redrawn them. Soft, and bold, and real, and theirs to cross.
“As much as I enjoy sitting here with your hands on me,” Finn said. “I would like you to drink this water.”
“Here he goes,” Logan mumbled and Leo laughed.
“You hungry?” Finn asked.
“Yep,” Leo said.
“Where do you want to go?” Finn put the next cup into his hands. “Anywhere you want. Drain that, even—”
“The dregs,” Leo and Logan said in unison.
“Anywhere?” Leo asked.
“Ouais.” Logan messed with his gold chains, watching Leo’s throat move as he drank as Finn commanded.
“For now, room service steak will do, but then…”
Finn raised his eyebrows, eager. “Yeah?”
Leo set the cup down with a soft, almost sheepish grin. “Then let’s go home.”
(And that's a wrap on On The Line! I loved writing this story so very much. Thanks for reading and all of your wonderful messages!! I love talking about these three with you all <3 This is a trying time right now and I hope this brought a spark of joy...all the love <3 <3)
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holdinbacksecrets · 1 year ago
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how do you think svt would subtly let you know they have feelings for you? 🥺🫣 or how they’d confess?
first of all, my sincere apologies for taking a year to answer this… but a couple nights ago i woke up at 2am, scrolled through my requests, and yours ended up inspiring these voicemails. thank you for requesting! i hope you enjoy 🖤
thank you @un-love for helping me assign these🫶🫶🫶🫶
voicemails seventeen leave you, hinting feelings
seungcheol: “hey…a lot was said last night…it’s important that you know how proud of you i am for opening up to me. it’s just…you have to know that… my home is yours for however long you need. there are clean sheets on the guest bed, but i know you prefer my mattress…we can switch- i just want you to be comfortable, not to worry about anything, ok? i hope i see you when i get home tonight. or if you want me to meet you at his—yours, i’d be happy to.”
jeonghan: “hey, are you ok? you looked upset last night, and i tried to show i noticed without… showing i noticed. you left earlier than i expected with lia, so i didn’t get a chance to ask. then hoshi was fucking wasted, so i was trying to get him home in one piece. let me know, please.”
joshua: “morning, let me know what time you’d like to leave tonight. the party starts at 8, but i don’t think it’s really going to start until 8:30. we could get dinner before if you want? and it’s ok if you forget a cardigan. now i keep one in my car in case we end up on a balcony.”
jun: “you’re probably freaking out, but your laptop is here. it’s fully charged. i can bring it to you. i know you have classes friday afternoon… if you use your ipad instead, come over after. i’ll make you dinner.”
soonyoung: “at this point, i need to keep your grocery store list on my notes app or something. it doesn’t matter where i am or what grocery store i find myself inside, i’m immediately wondering what you need. i end up getting things i know you’ll like… tampons too and those pads with the wings. i started keeping them in different bags i use because i never know which one i’ll have when i see you. i know it’s silly because you always have something with you just in case, but… i don’t know. i don’t want to be completely helpless. now i feel bad for my sister. is that weird? i never did this for her. i should have. i hope her boyfriend does.”
wonwoo: “i think you’re asleep, but i wanted to remind you to take another dosage of pain medicine when you wake up. it’s been twelve hours, and i know how forgetful you can get in that post-sleep haze.”
jihoon: “it’s so sunny here. i’m sending some to you for your birthday. missing your birthday… how the hell did that end up happening? i’m definitely not incredibly upset about it either… happy birthday. tell me all about your day when you get this. if i don’t answer, leave a detail in your voicemail” *whisper sings happy birthday*.
seokmin: “hey you. so i’m at the cafe, and i ordered a chai latte for you before realizing i didn’t know how much longer you’ll be. if it’s cold by the time you get here, i’ll order you another or see if they have a microwave. i think some customers are staring me down because i’m a single man occupying a table. please hurry. kindly. i say that so kindly.”
mingyu: “is it absolutely ridiculous to believe you… some part of you manifests in willow trees? i think of you, and i see one. it’s happened too many times to be a coincidence, even in other countries. i’ve taken pictures, so you have to believe me.”
minghao: “—you have to come with me next time.”
seungkwan: “do you want to be my date to my sister’s wedding? it’s not a big deal. i mean, it is, but i know how anxious you can get about things like this, so i want you to know it’s not a big deal… did you believe that for a second?”
hansol: “there’s going to be an indoor pop-up market two blocks from your apartment on saturday. i took a picture of the flyer through the car window, but it came out all blurry, and i’m running late for a schedule. this is a reminder for myself to make sure the details reach you. i also want to go with you if you decide to go… if you can go.”
chan: “can we change our friday night plans to saturday? i’m so sorry. my mom has an appointment, and i offered to drive her before my brain caught up and realized the day and time she’s scheduled. i don’t think i’ll make it back early enough, and i don’t want to leave her either, you know? she’s having a little procedure done. i want to be around just in case… because i’m worried about it. i didn’t think i’d be this worried. call me when you get this.”
bonus: “i’m around the corner from your place, and i have the tokyo hoodie with me. it’s your week, it’s freshly washed, so let me know if you’re home. i’ll drop it off.”
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snowysosturn · 1 month ago
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Allies or Affiliates? - Chris Sturniolo Part 8
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Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 11 Part 12
Pairing : Y/n x Chris Sturniolo
Summary : Law student Y/n’s life takes a turn when she reconnects with Chris, her brief teenage flame who is now a dealer for a dangerous Boston drug gang. As their bond reignites, Y/n is drawn into Chris’s tumultuous world, where rival gangs clash and loyalty is everything. Balancing her love for Chris with her own ambitions, can their connection survive the chaos that threatens to pull them apart?
Warnings : MDNI, mentions of drugs, selling drugs, angst, cursing, arguing
Chris’ POV
I arrived with Nate to Tyler's party, adrenaline simmering in my veins. We parked a block down from the house, and the faint thump of music pulsing in the crisp night air as we walked up. I looked up to see Dylan leaning against the fence leading to Tyler’s house, eyes already catching mine like he’d been waiting. It’d been weeks since he’d hit me up, and I was a little thrown when he nodded at me and casually asked, “Hey, man, you got anything on you tonight?”
Surprised, I didn’t respond right away, but he lifted his hand with a smirk, flipping through fifty dollars in his fingers. My gut told me to pass it up, to just keep my head down for the night, but instinct won out. I mean it is my job at the end of the day, I always have something on me since I had a load I needed to sell. I slipped him what he wanted, his eyes lighting up as he stuffed it into his jacket pocket before striding off without a second glance. Nate gave me a quick look, eyebrow raised, and I just shrugged. One sale, quick, done. Tonight was about Y/n, and I was ready to put that side of things behind me, even if just for a few hours.
The front door swung open, and we stepped into the chaos. Bodies packed the space, some leaning against walls, others talking in loud, tipsy clusters. But the second I saw her, my focus narrowed. Y/n stood by Willow, both stood looking at something they’d both been stumped by, but the sight of her face broke through the nerves in my stomach. Her smile, so genuine and effortless, had a way of making me forget the weight I carried around every day. All I wanted now was to be next to her.
We moved through the crowd, and her eyes found mine, brightening as I made my way over. After a quick round of introductions, we slipped into a rhythm that felt almost automatic. We moved into the living room and conversation flowed easily, each word making the noise of the party around us blur a little more. Willow suggested heading upstairs with Nate. I couldn’t care less what Nate and Willow were actually planning on doing, my only thought was that Y/n and I were going to have time to ourselves. I couldn’t believe how quickly she’d become the person I wanted to be around.
Once they disappeared up the stairs, she turned to me with that flirty look that always got me, like she knew something I didn’t. Her jokes, her quick wit, how she’d nudge me playfully if she thought I was being too serious, it was easy, the way we bounced off each other, like we’d known each other forever. An hour flew by in what felt like minutes. I’d almost forgotten about everything else, about Dylan, about the things I was holding back from her.
It wasn’t long before an hour had passed and we both started wondering what Nate and Willow were up to, or how they were getting up to it so long. The thought made me laugh, shaking my head. “Do you think they’re planning to start a secret society up there?” Y/n joked, nudging me playfully.
I laughed, my eyes bright with amusement. “If they do, I want in. I could use a secret handshake. You know, something cool.”
I chuckled, letting my arm stretch out on the back of the couch as I leaned in a little. “Like what? You strike me as the type to throw up gang signs.” Her laughter was soft, but then it tapered off as her expression shifted to something more serious. “Actually,” she added thoughtfully, “have you noticed how tense things have been lately with the gangs?”
Her words caught me off guard, hitting me like a punch to the gut. I froze, every nerve in my body suddenly hyper aware of the reality I was hiding from her. For a split second, I thought I’d lost all ability to move, my face going hot as the room seemed to close in around us. I forced a smile, tried to keep my voice steady. “Yeah, it’s been rough. It’s hard to ignore the tension in the air around the city.”
It was a vague response, but the best I could manage. The truth was, I couldn’t risk dragging her into the dangerous mess that was my life. I just hoped she’d drop it. But Y/n wasn’t someone to let things slide that easily, and I should’ve known better.
“The shootings are what freak me out,” she said, her voice dropping to a near whisper. “Like, what if one of these people we’re surrounded by is somehow tied to it? It’s wild how quickly things can escalate. One minute you’re at a party, and the next, you’re ducking for cover.”
The irony of her words hit me hard. If only she knew. If only she knew that the person she was spending her time with was tangled up in the very world she was afraid of. I felt my throat tighten, a growing urge to just spill everything to her right then and there. She deserved to know the truth; she deserved a guy who wasn’t living a double life. But how do you tell someone that? How do you admit that you’re involved in something so dark and dangerous when you’ve spent weeks pretending to be just a normal guy?
Before I could figure out what to say, I saw Nate and Willow coming back down the stairs, both of them laughing, looking far too pleased with themselves. Nate caught my eye, giving me a small nod – a signal that, at least for him, the night had gone well. I seized the opportunity to stand up and offered Y/n a smile, trying to shake off the unease I was feeling.
“We’ll go grab you both a drink” I said, giving her hand a quick squeeze before heading toward the kitchen with Nate.
The second we were out of earshot, I leaned in closer to Nate, dropping my voice. “Y/n brought up the gang stuff, man. She’s scared, like really scared of everything going on. She’s seeing all of it around us, and it’s only a matter of time before she connects the dots.”
Nate raised an eyebrow, taking in my words with a seriousness that made me uneasy. “What did you tell her?”
I rubbed the back of my neck, frustration knotting in my stomach. “Nothing. I kept it vague, but how long can I keep dodging this stuff? She’s bound to figure it out eventually, especially when people like Dylan are out here practically shouting it.”
“Look, I get it, man” Nate said, glancing around as we neared the counter lined with drinks. “But maybe she doesn’t need to know. Keep her safe by keeping her out of it, you know?”
“Right” I muttered, though doubt lingered in my mind. Maybe that was the safest choice, but it didn’t feel right. I wanted to be honest with her, to not have this barrier between us.
We poured a couple of drinks and navigated back through the packed hallway, but a sharp laugh from around the corner made me look up, just in time to see the bathroom door swing open. Out stepped three girls, one by one, each with an expression more intense than the last. Y/n, Willow, and.. Sarah? My heart skipped a beat, every instinct on high alert.
Sarah? Dylan’s ex Sarah? The same Sarah who had once been one of my regulars? Since when are she and Y/n friends?
It was hard to read the exact vibe in that moment. Y/n’s eyes were locked on me, her expression steely and set, while Sarah’s gaze flicked between me and Nate, looking almost expectant, like she was waiting for something to play out. Willow crossed her arms, her posture tense, giving off a silent message that something was definitely off.
My pulse quickened as my mind raced to piece things together. I’d sold to Dylan tonight. Fucking hell, he’d practically hunted me down for it. There was no way Sarah would’ve been able to mention that to Y/n already.. right? Did she even know that Y/n and I were seeing each other?
“Y/n” I started, trying to keep my voice steady, but the weight of their stares was hard to ignore. I glanced sideways at Nate, whose brow had furrowed, and back at the girls. “You okay?”
Y/n’s eyes narrowed a bit, her lips pressed into a line. I could feel the judgement in her gaze, and something about it twisted at my chest. Whatever I’d just walked into felt loaded, way beyond the casual tension of a night out.
Y/n’s POV
My mind reeled as Sarah’s words sank in, twisting through me like a knife. Wait, his dealer Chris? My voice barely made it out, trembling as I tried to process what she’d just said. I needed her to be wrong. Needed it to be anyone else. “Chris who?”
Sarah blinked, then casually said, “Chris Sturniolo. You know, the guy who’s friends with Nate Doe?”
Everything around me seemed to fall away. My eyes darted to Willow, her expression mirroring my own shock, and I knew that she’d caught on as fast as I had. Nate’s name barely registered, I guess since I knew about the court case and the life Nate always had. But Chris? 
It felt impossible. But the pieces were starting to click, snapping into place with a harsh clarity I wasn’t prepared for. The late night messages, the vague excuses, the way he’d left our date so abruptly, claiming it was “something work related” that he “couldn’t miss.” Now it makes sense why. He’d lied so easily. We just had a conversation about this shit, about how it terrifies me, and he didnt even think to say anything? 
A wave of anger swept over me, and I struggled to keep it down, swallowing against the bitter taste of betrayal rising in my throat. I felt trapped in the tiny bathroom, the walls seeming to close in around me with every breath.
“I need to get out of here” I muttered, the words escaping on a shaky breath before I’d even decided to say them. I turned toward the door, my hand fumbling for the knob, my heart pounding so loud it felt deafening. Willow grabbed my arm, her grip firm and reassuring, but her face told me everything I needed to know, she was just as rattled as I was.
“I’m coming with you” she said softly, her voice barely above a whisper. But there was an edge of steel in it, her loyalty cutting through the haze of hurt that clouded my mind.
My stomach twisted as I pulled the door open, and there he was, standing in the hallway with Nate, a casual smile on his face as he held a drink in each hand. For a second, I couldn’t breathe. My heart felt like it had dropped straight through the floor. He looked so normal, so.. calm, and I hated how I still felt that stupid tug in my chest seeing him, even after everything I’d just learned.
His eyes flickered between us, his smile fading as he took in our expressions. I could practically see the wheels turning in his head as he looked from me to Willow, then to Sarah. And when his gaze finally settled back on me, there was something in his expression – an unease, a trace of something he was trying hard to mask. Nate must have picked up on the tension too, because he shot Chris a wary glance, then took a step back.
“Y/n.. you okay?” Chris asked, his voice careful, too careful, like he already knew that I knew.
I felt my throat close up, anger and betrayal boiling over so fiercely I thought I might burst. “Am I okay?” I bit out, my voice cracking as I tried to hold it together. “Why don’t you tell me, Chris? Are you okay with lying to my face?”
He opened his mouth to speak, but I couldn’t bear to hear him. I didn’t want to listen to his empty explanations, his excuses. I shoved past him, feeling the sting of tears at the back of my eyes. I heard Willow’s voice fading behind me, trying to calm me down, but I couldn’t stop. I stormed out the front door, not caring who saw me, needing fresh air and space.
Chris followed me outside, his footsteps catching up to me. “Y/n, wait! Can we talk about this?” he said, reaching for my arm, but I pulled away, my heart pounding.
“Talk about it?” I spun around to face him, my voice rising. “What could you possibly say to make this okay? I thought I knew you, Chris! I thought.. God, I was actually starting to feel something for you. And this whole time, you’ve been lying to me. You’ve been selling drugs, dealing, like it’s nothing!”
His jaw clenched, a muscle ticking in his cheek as he tried to keep his voice steady. “Y/n, it’s not as simple as you’re making it sound-”
“Oh, it isn’t?” I snapped, cutting him off. “What part of this isn’t simple? You deal drugs, Chris! You’re part of the reason people in this city are scared to walk home alone at night. You’re part of the reason people like Sarah end up doing this shit!”
His face paled, and he looked down, guilt and frustration flickering in his eyes. “It’s not like that” he said, his voice softening, but the crack in his defences was there. “I never wanted to be a part of this. It’s just.. It’s complicated, Y/n. There’s things you don’t understand.”
“Then make me understand!” I shouted, anger flooding every word. “Explain to me why you couldn’t be honest with me from the start. Explain why you let me fall for you while you hid this entire side of yourself from me. Explain why you were in my room last night, pretending everything was fine, when you knew, you knew, that I would hate this.”
He looked like he’d been punched, his face etched with hurt. “I never meant to lie to you. I didn’t want you to look at me like this, okay? I.. I couldn’t tell you because I was scared of this exact reaction. Scared you’d hate me.”
“Hate you?” I repeated, voice cracking. “I hate what you’re doing Chris.”
He sighed, running a hand through his hair, clearly grappling with his own frustration. “You don’t get it, Y/n. I don’t do this because I want to. I’m just trying to survive. This life.. it’s not something you just walk away from.”
“So you’re just a victim here?” I scoffed, crossing my arms. “Poor Chris, forced into dealing drugs because he had no other choice?”
He looked away, jaw clenched, a bitter smile twisting his lips. “Yeah, laugh it off. Make it sound like it’s that easy. You think I wanted this? My life’s been messed up since I was a kid. Nate’s the only person who’s ever had my back, and this.. this is just part of the package.”
I felt a pang of guilt, but it was quickly drowned out by my anger. “That’s not an excuse, Chris. I get that life is hard, I really do. But this? This is a choice. And you made it.”
He shook his head, his eyes flashing with a mixture of frustration and sadness. “You don’t know what it’s like. I don’t expect you to understand. But I care about you, Y/n. I didn’t want to lose you over this.”
“But you have lost me,” I whispered, the words slipping out before I could stop them. The realisation hit me hard, like a punch to the gut, and I fought to keep my composure. “I can’t.. I can’t be with someone who lies to me. Who puts people in danger. Who just.. brushes off what I said tonight about how scared I am of this stuff.”
He stepped forward, his face pleading. “Please, don’t do this, Y/n. I want to try and get out of it.. Can I just explain myself?”
“You have two minutes.” I say sternly.
“I’m part of the Crimson Cartel.” His voice was barely above a whisper, but it held a weight that made my heart pound. 
The name sent a chill down my spine. Everyone in Boston knew of the Crimson Cartel – their name haunted the headlines, each story more violent and horrifying than the last. Suddenly, I felt like I couldn’t breathe.
“The Crimson Cartel?” My voice wavered. “You’re involved in a gang too? What the fuck Chris?”
He swallowed hard, his gaze dropping to the ground. “It’s not something I chose. Not really. It.. started with Nate. His family’s involved. His cousin Danny is one of the higher ups in the gang.” He paused, his eyes flicking up to meet mine, raw and vulnerable in a way I hadn’t seen before. “When Nate got pulled in, I knew.. I knew I’d be next. There was no avoiding it. And I didn’t want to drag you down with me, Y/n. That’s why I disappeared on you all those years ago.”
The words hit me with the force of a tidal wave. “What? You thought you were protecting me?”
He nodded, shoulders sagging under the weight of his confession. “I thought it was the only way I could. Once I realised where Nate was headed, once Danny started hovering around us, making promises and threats, I knew it was only a matter of time. If I stayed.. you would’ve been dragged into that life too.”
I felt like my head was spinning, memories flashing through my mind like a reel. The countless days and nights I’d spent wondering why Chris had vanished, trying to convince myself it was some teenage misunderstanding or the natural drift of life. And now, to find out he’d left because of this – a dark secret he’d never let me see, never wanted me to be part of.
“So, what changed?” My voice cracked, emotion breaking through the thin wall of composure I’d been trying to keep up. “You saw me again, and… what? Decided that you didn’t care about that anymore?”
He stepped closer, desperation etched in his face. “I never stopped caring, Y/n. You don’t understand, when I saw you again, it was like.. it was like a sign. Like maybe things could be different this time. That I could find a way to leave it all behind, just.. be with you.” He let out a bitter laugh, glancing away as he ran a hand through his hair.
His words hung in the air, thick with longing and regret. I wanted to believe him, I wanted so badly to believe that he’d stayed away to protect me, that this wasn’t some elaborate lie. But the anger I felt at being left in the dark, at being deceived, still pulsed hot inside me.
“Ha- have you.. Killed anyone?” I say almost afraid to ask.
“No Y/n, no I’m not involved like that.. I’m just a runner thats all I promise.” Chris pleaded, as if it magically made things better.
A silence fell between us, thick and suffocating. He was breathing hard, anger and hurt swirling in his eyes. And for the first time, I felt a trace of empathy, maybe even pity for the situation he was in. But it didn’t erase the feeling of betrayal clawing at my chest.
“Then walk away, Chris,” I said, my voice barely more than a whisper. “If you really don’t want this, then stop. Get out. Find another way.”
“It’s not that simple” he said, his voice pained. “You think they’d let me walk away? This isn’t some club I can just quit. Once you’re in, there’s no getting out without consequences.”
I shook my head, a bitter laugh escaping my lips. “So that’s it, then? You’re just going to keep dragging people into this mess with you? People like Dylan, people like Sarah.. people like me?”
Chris’s face softened, and he reached out, his hand hovering over mine. “Y/n, please.. I never wanted to hurt you. I just wanted a chance. A chance to see if there was any part of my life that could still be good.”
I stared at his hand, my heart breaking all over again. There was so much I wanted to say, so much anger and sadness twisting inside me. But all I could do was step back, out of his reach, my vision blurring as the tears finally spilled over.
“Then do what you have to do, Chris. But I don’t know if I can be part of it.”
And with that, I turned and walked away, leaving him standing alone in the darkness, the weight of our shattered connection pressing heavy on my heart.
a/n : should she take him back???? this is only the beginning of the emotional rollercoaster trust me
taglist: @mattybearnard @sturn-33 @ncm9696 @yourfavsturniologirl @crazy4jewel @sodakid1234 @stupendoustreewinner @lovealwayssturniolos @matthewsturniolosss @m4ttsmunch @loveexxx @ilusa @starkeyszn @wonnieeluvvr @dylnblue @valxrieq @maggot3647 @cigarettecemetary @ribread03 @chrisstvrns @bandasaruswrx @noplaceissafeanymore @amexiass @witchofthehour @mattssgf @jetaimevous @v33angel @ivysturnss @urmom69lol @ashlishes @watercolorskyy @sturnioloshottiekay @amelia-sturniolo3 @imjusthereforthesturniolosmut @pvssychicken @alizestvrnss @lvrsturniolo @bernardsbunny @spaghetti835928383 @marrykisskilled @sturnsxplr-25 @bxtchboy69 @vickytaa @anikaistg @matts-girlfriend @lvrsturniolo
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tsukinoshinjiu · 1 month ago
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the expressions that you drew for all the LU Links on the cover art….those are some insane details! Sky and Wild are both grimacing, Warriors looks almost displeased and Time looks so CONTENT aaksjsbhahqhah
Hehe thank you so much!! Time is definetly the only one that's actually having any degree of a good time LOL. There's actually a lot more symbolism to the back cover than it may seem >:) Please allow me this opportunity to yap about it below~ (spoilers for the Willow Bark and Chamomile fic!)
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Although the placement of the links has no regard between each other, I deliberately placed them in specific spots relating to their dreams, most specifically, in regards to light and shadow. In this artwork, the sunlight means good, warm, comfort, but also the truth, and to an extent, the goddesses presence (most specifically for Sky more than the others). The shadows represent the nightmares, the windfish's control, and even bad feelings in general. Time, Wind and Four are fully in the sun, the ones with the most peaceful dreams. While Time basks in it, Wind is almost confused, he is facing the truth, looking for it, but can't quite grasp it, whereas Four is turned away from it, he doesn't want to look. Twilight is the only one fully divided into light and dark, probably the most obvious of the metaphors. He physically can't choose sides, to the extent even his dream is split in two. Wars and Hyrule are in the shadows, but the sunlight is there, just barely reaching its fingers to their head. They know something is wrong, but the windfish is messing with their mind, making it harder to think. Sky and Wild are the ones with the worst luck. Completely in shadows, Sky just barely close enough to the sunlight, almost reaching for it, but no goddess will appear in a made-up land. Wild, almost struggling to breathe in fighting the weight of his memories, where even good memories are bittersweet, and bad ones are even worse to bear. Of course, Legend is the only one standing, yet his face is not visible at all. That's kind of what he felt like in this fic, an outside agent, a secondary character to the other's problems, yet still the one active player. Distant, yet vital. We don't know how exactly he feels, and that's kind of the point. This isn't at all alluded to in the story, but wouldn't it be fair to think he, too, fell into a dream when they arrived? What would've been in the veteran's ideal reality? Was it painful for him to wake up of his own volition? Or was it only natural, for verily, it be the nature of dreams to end? In truth, none of these things were present in the fic, I drew them like this explicitly for these metaphors, perhaps a bit too obviously. I wonder If I am reaching too far? That's the kind of lines you cross when you go 30 hours in a paiting, lol. But those were my thoughts working on it anyway. I hope they sound cooler outside my head XD
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st4rbe0m · 4 months ago
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𖤐⭒๋࣭ ⭑ KISS THE GIRL - PSH
🫧 now playing - kiss the girl from disney’s The Little Mermaid 🫧 contents - the little mermaid au, no gendered implications but the word 'maiden' is used, implied kissing 🫧 wc - 0.9K 🫧 a/n - i hope this compensates for the lack of body search updates recently :( i need to structure that story out a bit more, so it'll be a while. might make a mini series out of this however teehee >.<
masterlist
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Sha-la-la-la-la-la, My oh my Look like the boy too shy Ain't gonna kiss the girl
The blue luminescence of the algae around them, surrounding the boat in a surreal bubble, made the breath in Sunghoon’s throat hitch in awe. You were right in front of him, hands on the pair of paddles opposite to his own, making no move of their own, as your eyes blown wide in awe of scenery peered around. The way the drooping willow branches of the cove swayed in an almost rhythm like manner, creating a music of its own. The fish seemed almost animated as they playfully swam along the quivering currents of the water, the boat stalled and rocking almost like a crib, gently. The reeds whistled, adding the percussion to the music of the ocean, while the crabs and the seagulls perched along the rocks of the shallow alcove seemed to scuttle along, adding a tapping beat to the environment. Almost like this endeavor was planned. Almost. 
Sunghoon doesn’t really register how quickly this stranger, whom he’d found on the beach with no voice of your own, and almost seemingly no knowledge of his importance or his duties, had easily slid into his life, like the puzzle piece he’d been missing ever since he went aboard his ship on his birthday. The day he was knocked off the very vessel, and only had an angelic voice and a fleeting memory saving him from being pulled under by the unforgiving waves of the sea. 
The boat was swaying gently in the water as you both rocked along with it, eyes swallowing in all the beauty of the escape Sunghoon had found during his lonesome adventures to escape from princely duties. A hidden cave, with a shallow pool of water and a welcoming alcove hiding the both of you away from prying eyes. After all, the rumors and gossip about town would multiply with a frenzy, if any citizen were to come across the adoration on the face of their beloved prince, as he gazed upon this strange maiden. The mood around them was so tender, so fragile and so, so beautiful. Yet to Sunghoon, the only beauty he could focus on was the one right in front of him, only on the way your head was tilted up and looking around, like you were seeing everything that existed above the land for the first time ever in your life. The way your lips parted softly and exhaled a soft sigh of satisfaction, like a thirst to see everything was being quenched slowly. And how soft your lips looked, glowing under the moonlight that entered through the cracks above. The plump curve of your cupid’s bow, and the dip of white where your teeth bit into your lower lip in fascination.
If the ambience wasn’t already perfect, the buzzing of the fireflies, that illuminated the air around you both with their bright, yellow glow just made your heart leap in joy, and the smile that grew on your face made Sunghoon’s heart flip in his own chest, like the marine creatures surrounding you both, almost like they’d choreographed their own dance to celebrate the union of you both. The frogs that sat with their little webbed legs stuck on to the paddles of your boat, and the wonderful, colorful fish, creating a haze of flurried colors under the dark water. It was all absolutely delightful, as you both chuckled at the behavior of all the animals around you. One of the frogs on the paddle decided to leap in a move of its own, elegantly diving into the water with a plop. But as graceful as the move was, it ended up with a small splash of water ungracefully landing on Sunghoon’s cheek, which made you giggle in amusement. Bringing the fabric of your sleeve to your palm and shifting close to wipe the cold water off his face, your eyes met the warmth in his brown ones, making you fall harder for the enigmatic and handsome prince. The human you’d found yourself to be so captivated by. Prince Park Sunghoon, royal heir to the throne of the island country, Telmarina. 
Sunghoon’s heartbeat was thundering in his ears due to the proximity between the two of you, and if he didn’t already feel that magnetic pull that was urging him to push his lips onto yours, the urge just got stronger as he looked at all your features with such intensity, as to almost memorize them. You could feel his shortening breath on your face now, which just created a chain reaction to your own flusteredness. His eyes, which were settled on yours, hesitatingly shifted, and then dipped to your lips. And it seemed that you did too, as the pink tinge of his lips seemed to call you like a siren. Leaning in slowly, almost gravely, both of you inhaled as your lips almost touched to fulfill what you both had been yearning for this entire time.
That was until the solid wooden flooring of the boat under both of you seemed to disappear, leaving you both plunging into the cold water of the lagoon, icing the blood in your veins and leaving you both in a shocked state, floating in the water. Laughing at the state of both of you, the kiss that almost happened seemed to slowly leave both of your minds, and Sunghoon swore that if you listened close enough, you could hear some sort of disappointed groan coming from the rock where the crab and seagull sat. And holding out his hand for you to take as you both swam up to land, you both almost ignored the dark slithering eels that swam away silently from the scene, ready to report to their masters of the success of their devious plans.
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tartsinarat · 26 days ago
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I don’t have much energy (on account of still being sick :/) but I still wanted to do something so dug up an old unfinished screenshot edit that I did a while ago but never finished until now
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But yeah this is from the au’s version of Eclipse Lake, which happens a bit later down the timeline than the original.
It’s set just before Hollow mind instead and I’ll explain the timeline differences in much better detail in a different post but it’s basically because Luz isn’t focusing on going home like in the og so she is seeking on ways of getting revenge on Belos and saving Pip and Eda.
But Amity has been wanting to cheer up her awesome girlfriend so she’s been secretly researching ways to create a portal door as a surprise, so Amity was the one who found out about the titan veins through the echo mouse instead and went to go find some titan blood without telling Luz.
If you’re probably wondering where Hunter is…He’s actually taking an extremely well deserved break :0 (lmao, just kidding he’s still apart of the Eclipse lake events) as Pip is surprisingly extremely efficient at sorting out tasks (normal Pip could never, this is all the brainwashing tea lmao) and so Hunter has unwilling ended up getting all his work done by Pip…
Hunter doesn’t want to admit it but he is happy about finally getting a break because he’s getting to do normal teen stuff and play with flapjack more often but he does feel like he’s getting replaced so there is complicated feelings there (it also doesn’t help that Pip is now getting all the attention from Belos and is on top of that able to do magic so Hunter is switching between “I’ve got to do as much as I can so I don’t get replaced” to “it’s kinda nice not being in mortal danger every five seconds and being able to hang out with Willow”)
But yeah onto the episode; Much to the displeasure and horror of Kiki she’s having to be supervised by Pip during the titan’s vein assignment so she’s extra cautious and paranoid about not ruining the assignment especially when in front of the Prince…
Hunter wanted to go with Pip but was then explicitly told by Belos to take a break as Pip was handling an extremely special assignment but Hunter immediately flipped into panic mode because after getting kinda jealous of Pip and he wanted to show his worth again to Belos so he ended up secretly following along as a scout in order to be the first to find the titans blood.
Belos obviously already knew that the vein was already decayed and full of Fools blood from when he went there years ago, so the assignment Kiki is on was actually just a wild goose chase created in order for Pip to secretly assassinate Kiki (who’s fucked up one too many times and knows too much about the actual day of unity plans so she’s obviously got to go.)
Amity and Hunter end up working together after stumbling onto each other searching for titans blood, though they’re bickering and fighting each other the entire way but aren’t as antagonistic with each other as Hunter has slowly mellowed out after hanging out with the emerald entrails more often so they do actually end up properly bonding :)
Uh until they accidentally stumble onto Pip’s attempt on Kiki’s life…
I’m personally imagining the spiderman meme with Pip, Amity and Hunter happening and then Kiki scampering away at full speed in the background.
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So yeah Amity is just majorly confused on the fact that she’s just randomly found Pip in the weirdest situation and place possible after months of no contact or communication…
It gets weirder for Amity as Luz never actually told anybody where Pip was and just vaguely said he was staying with family when asked as it wasn’t technically lying (Luz really didn’t want to break Pip’s promise on not telling anyone who he actually is so this is her guilt free way of avoiding questions on where he is)
Pip doesn’t even let Hunter or Amity think about the implications of this whole situation before running off to go catch Kiki and attempt to go for round two… Amity stops him mid way by grabbing his arm which wasn’t the smartest idea.
Because of the brainwashing tea and all the meddling Belos did with his memories, it genuinely makes Pips brain hurt when trying to recognise who Amity or anyone from when he lived in the owl house and so he usually gets really frustrated/aggressive when seeing someone from his past… so Amity interrupting his assignment genuinely made him kinda loose it and try to kill her instead.
The image is the aftermath but they both hit a draw because Hunter does manage to deescalate the situation by reminding Pip to focus on his actual mission instead.
I’ll probably continue this explanation through either a comic or text post :p
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thepunkmuppet · 11 months ago
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yes tara willow and kennedy are amazing barrier-breaking representation and I adore them with my whole entire heart forever and ever, but also here’s just a friendly reminder that:
spike and angel have canonically had sex, as have darla and drusilla
lorne just straight up shamelessly asks angel out that one time (and is. you know. lorne)
I was gonna split it up into like ten different points but honestly just faith and buffy’s entire relationship you know exactly what I mean
also self explanatory, lindsey’s complete and utter obsession with angel that literally ends with his name being his last words. he is not normal about that old man like “it’s not me you wanna screw it’s him” “I wanna know the details, everything he did to you” UM HELLO WHAT
fred canonically has a crush on willow
buffy has a sexual and romantic relationship with a woman in the comics
lorne mentions picking up demon girls in pylea, meanwhile his mother has a whole ass beard and more testosterone than a bodybuilder (also he’s. you know. LORNE)
xander thinks having sex with spike is understandable because he is strong and mysterious and sort of compact but well muscled
illyria exists outside the gender binary
the visions are canonically passed by what is essentially true love’s kiss, and will only transfer if the person romantically loves the other person. in a universe where cordelia didn’t join angel investigations, doyle gave the visions to angel. I am so incredibly normal about this fact
“recently I’ve been wondering what it would be like to share the slaughter of innocents with another man. that doesn’t make me some kind of deviant, does it?”
vampire willow is very intensely bisexual, and angel confirms that vampires hold the same attractions as their human selves
faith “doesn’t take the guys she has a connection with very seriously”
lilah is canonically attracted to cordelia
CANON GAY ANDREW AND HIS DEEP AND HILARIOUS OBSESSION WITH WARREN XANDER AND SPIKE I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️
angel has no problem spanking men <3
so yeah basically hey don’t cry all your favs are raging bisexuals :)
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spaceorphan18 · 4 months ago
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Ranking Bridgerton Season 3 Episodes
After sitting with this season the past month, I kind of wanted to see how a ranking would go (and those of you who know me, know I love a good ranking). These are 100% subjective opinions, and I don't expect anyone else to agree. More so did it out of the fun of it. :)
8. Forces of Nature (Episode 3)
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I don't actually think there is a bad episode of this season. Truly. After really sitting with this season, thinking it over, even agreeing that there isn't enough Polin and some of the subplots could have been stronger (or not existed at all), I think all of these episodes are pretty stellar. But one of them had to be placed last, and after combing through all of them, it's episode 3.
There is actually a lot I like in this episode - Colin spending the whole episode pining for Pen, the ridiculous and romantic dream fantasy, the awkwardly cute willow scene, the angsty cake scene, Colin asking his mother for advice and awkwardly trying to figure his shit out, loved it. I also really enjoyed Debling and the development of that story as an alternative option for Pen.
What really bogs this episode down, and consequently pushes it to the bottom, is that it's also the culprit for braiding in all of the seemingly many subplots. I don't necessarily think any of them are bad on their own, but it feels like so much that it's too much at times.
We get Lord Kilmartin's introduction (yes, great), Lord Anderson (yeah, okay), Lady Tilly (ooff, fine), The Mondrichs (why are they here again?), the stuff with the Queen (this was just weak in general), and development of Cressida (it works in conjunction with LW, but idk if it holds up on rewatches?). It's just a lot and the main characters (unfortunately, especially Colin) get pushed a little to the side.
7. Romancing Mister Bridgerton (Episode 6)
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This is the episode that when I first watched it, I straight up thought it wasn't that good. I've honestly changed my opinion on it a lot, but I do understand why I originally felt that way.
I love LOVE the first half of this episode. We get to have Pen and Colin in a little bit of a honeymoon stage -- the engagement ring scene is brilliant, everything at the church is brilliant, even the stuff at the Mondrich ball... It's truly delicious. And I love Colin just being soft with his sister and at the Mondrich bar scene. And then I do love the Lady Whistledown aspect of it -- Pen dealing with whether or not she wants to continue. There's some great Eloise stuff in here, too. And even Cressida pretending to be Whistledown was handled decently.
But, like episode 3, this episode was saddled with a ton of side plots, where the scenes just go on and on and on because they're the meat of some of these side plots. I don't know if they needed to be balanced better or parceled out better, I don't know. But the long stretches without any Polin, or much Pen or Colin in general in the second half is why this episode ended up lower.
I think the only reason it's moved up a spot is that I do love the Polin we do get more than what's in episode 3. Also, the last few moments of Colin discovering Pen is Lady Whistledown is an excellent cliffhanger.
6. Out of the Shadows (Episode 1)
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I do think the season opener is solidly good! I actually really love Pen getting her transformation and the ridiculous of Colin (attempting) swagger as he comes back into town. I love that we don't beat around the bush, and the two of them really get to the heart of their issues right off the bat and it sets up the entire season really nicely. Plus, their dynamic as never sparkled any better -- it's truly a treat to see the two of them back on screen.
The rest of the episode works pretty well, too. The tension between Pen and Eloise is great -- and kicks off one of my favorite arcs of the season. Francesca's (re-)introduction is wonderful. There's some truly brilliant Bridgerton sibling stuff, as well as Anthony and Kate being on the top of their game. It's also got some breathing room as we haven't established the nineteen other plot lines going on this season (though the Mondrich stuff feels a little sluggish).
The only reason this episode is as low as it is -- is because I just like everything else more.
5. Joining of Hands (Episode 7)
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It pains me to have this episode as low as it is because I love so much of it. The Polin stuff in this episode is just delicious. I love the tension after Colin finds out that Pen is Lady Whistledown. I love the brutalness of the first argument and the angst, longing, and actually working through some of their shit (as well as the spiciness) of their argument outside the Modeste.
I love that they still get married despite having unresolved conflict, and that their love transcend set backs. And that wedding dance is absolutely gorgeous.
Plus - we get some great Bridgerton in general stuff -- Eloise and Pen are on their way to repairing their relationship, Colin and Eloise get some great moments, Benedict is adorable at the 'bachelor' party, and Anthony and Kate are amazing in everything that they do (I love LOVE the scene with Kate, Anthony, and Colin).
The episode does have some weaker aspects - I don't care all that much about Violet and Lord Anderson nor Benedict and Lady Tilly (even if I'm all here for Benedict's bisexual awakening). But the subplots don't really weigh everything down as much, and it's a solidly good Polin episode.
4. Into the Light (Episode 8)
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The Season Finale! I honestly toggled between episodes 7 and 8 and where they went, and I think maybe on a different day I could be persuaded to switch them, but I think what really sells me is everything from the Butterfly Ball onward. The ending is gorgeous, Pen's story wraps up brilliantly, Colin's grand speech was beautiful, the epilogue was pitch perfect, and all of the storylines work out in a great way, setting up threads for future seasons (obviously, Benedict is next but Eloise and Francesca are getting some good stuff, too.)
My only issue with the end of Pen and Colin's story is that I wanted more resolution to their story. The twenty seconds of make-up sex felt like not enough, and I do hope that they rectify this in Season 4. (Which I have a feeling they will.)
There are some really great things leading up to the ending as well -- I love that Pen and her mother kind of come to terms with each other and finally that relationship is being restored, as well as the Featherington sisters blooming into decent people. I also LOVE the reconciliation of Pen and Eloise. And while the blackmail plot could have been a little stronger (Cressida's whimper out was a little weak) I honestly love Colin's scene with Cressida. (As well as the hilarity of Portia, Eloise, and Colin being the ones to try to help Pen deal with it all.)
It's not perfect episode -- there's the seemingly never ending threeway with Benedict (as well as the fact that Benedict desperately needs next season because his character feels aimless at this point), and Francesca's wedding, while sweet, felt like it pushed Pen and Colin a little out of the limelight for a little too long in the middle. But pacing might have been the biggest issue of the episode. It's otherwise a great episode and a solid ending.
3. Old Friends (Episode 4)
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So here's the thing. Here is the thing I've been really thinking about while putting this together. It's a testament to the carriage scene and, honestly, everything from the last twenty-ish minutes of this episode because without it, I'm not sure this episode would be that high. Pen and Colin get ZERO screen time together until the end (and I suppose that's somewhat intentional) you really start to feel it as the episode goes on.
But the tension of this episode is fantastic. Pen bonding with Debling, beginning to accept that this is her best option with pressure from Portia... Colin dealing with his own feelings and downward spiraling (though I do wish we had gotten more of him). It's really, really well done. And then the last twenty minutes is just solidly amazing. All of it. Fantastic. It's just captivating.
And then, of course, the carriage scene -- one of the best (possibly the best??) scenes of the entire show. I could wax poetic about the carriage scene for days...
This is another episode that does feel like it's saddled with too many subplots, and pacing issues, because they're withholding the Polin stuff until the very end and it almost feels like a trudge to get there at points. But it's well worth the wait -- and enough of an amazing payoff that I have this episode so high.
2. How Bright the Moon (Episode 2)
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I just fucking adore this episode. Like so much. It is a romantic comedy at its finest with one of the most beautiful first kiss sequences I've ever seen. I love everything this episode chooses to be.
First of all, there's just so MUCH content for Pen and Colin, and we really get to see their FREINDSHIP at play here. (As well as Nicola Coughlan's amazing comedic chops - she shines in every scene here.) Everything between the two of them is brilliant and hilarious and awkward and funny and really, I could have watched a whole season of just this ridiculous rom-com trope-y stuff. Because they're both so good at it. Because it's just so delicious and wonderful.
We also get some of the best comedy of the show in the scene with Portia explaining sex to the Featherington sisters. And some truly great moments with Eloise, too. The rest of the side plots don't feel as heavy as they don't over shadow what's going on with Pen and Colin.
And then that last scene, the beautiful, fairy tale, fantasty-esque, shot like an Old Hollywood film first kiss that is truly breathtaking. This episode just wins all the things.
1. Tick Tock (Episode 5)
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Like it was going to be anything else ;)
But no, here's my thing. It's not just the awkwardly beautiful ten minute sex scene of this episode that has me placing it on top. No, really, even if I think the mirror scene is incredible and breathtaking in it's own right.
This episode is solidly for Pen and Colin. And in a season that sometimes struggles to find good balance, this episode (and episode 2 really) are the only ones that really feel like the fully feature Pen and Colin, so it's no coincidence they end up taking the top spots.
The first half of the episode is just a continuation of the amazingness that is the ending of episode 4. The engagement announcement, the hilariously wonderful ABC Bros scene, Colin telling off Portia, Pen and Colin being so soft and sweet with each other during sex, the aftercare cuddling on the satee, the carriage ride.... it's all so, so good, I love it so much.
There's also some great stuff going on around Polin -- Kate and Anthony are back, Eloise has some great stuff, the Cressida plot is hitting its stride, the Queen is adding tension, the Lady Whistledown plot is getting turned up to eleven...
The second half of the episode is also incredibly strong, as it mostly takes place during the engagement party and the tension during that whole sequence is fantastic. All the little plot threads are getting pulled at in a way that works well being woven in together. It's GREAT drama and it really pushes this episode to be the season's finest hour.
This episode just works all the way through. It's got such lush, romantic Pen and Colin that I keep coming back to, some crazy tension built in to ramp up the drama, the characters all just so much fun to watch. This episode is amazing, and truly deserves to be at the top of the list.
And that's my list!! Thanks for reading!! :)
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